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Modern au where Steve notices eddie goes to sleep with earbuds even when Steve is staying over. He’s never been able to see what it is Eddie is listening to and Eddie’s never told him either. One night steve just gives up to his inner nosey bitch and leans over a sleeping eddie to unlock his phone and finds YouTube video playing called ‘SUBLIMINAL SLEEP TRACK “I AM A DRAGON” GUARANTEED RESULTS’
#from then on Steve noticed eddie muttering things under his breath like ‘he the dragon. find the hoard. I have beautoful shing scales’#‘mortals fear me and I am proud’#he notices that Eddie blows his cigarette smoke out of his nose and thrashes his head around when he thinks no one is looking#but does it when he thinks people are looking too. he really doesn’t care#Steve draws the line when Eddie files his nails into points he knows how much Eddie flings his hands around and that’s too much of a risk#idk is this anything?#what’s the best solution when you feel like shit? try to make somebody else happy#I mean that’s my solution so I can ignore my own issues you do you though#stranger things#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington
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Pedro Pascal and Lena Headey
Head to head interview
Hunger Magazine, Issue 6. Released December 28, 2014. Photoshoot October 15, 2013.
Thirteen million. That's the number of people, on average, who tuned into each episode of the third season of Game of Thrones. Among them was Chilean actor Pedro Pascal, who was as enthralled by the sex and slaughter as the rest of us. But little did he know that within a few months he'd be pitching up on the shores of Belfast to join the cast as Oberyn Martell, affectionately known as the Red Viper. Sound ominous? It is. The Red Viper is GoTs newest anti-hero, “sexy and charming but driven by hate”. Sounds like he'll be right at home.
Pedro, on the other hand, though he looks good on paper, wasn't the obvious choice for the role. Expecting a big name to ride into King’s Landing, the show's fans took to forums to express their concerns as soon as the news broke. So is he worried? Like hell he is. “The fans had the part cast in their minds already. They knew who they wanted and it certainly was not me. But I'm not stupid, | presumed that people were going to say ‘who the fuck is this guy’. Since I anticipated the reaction it didn't throw me off.”
“There are so many different ways to go into battle with yourself when you're trying to get a job. I felt a certain amount of pressure because I wanted to make everyone happy. The fan base is so specific and, as a fan myself, I understand the relationship that they have with the show. The Red Viper is the best part I've ever played, and in season four shocks come at the most unexpected times. You might think you know, but you have no idea,” he explains.
Looks like the Red Viper could be in line to fill a Walter-White-sized-hole in television, but to test the theory we pit Pascal against Lena Headey, aka the Queen. Because if you can come away from Cersei unscathed, you can handle anything.
LH: So, Pedro, you come into Game of Thrones in season four, playing a pretty major character. Does that fill you with joy or dread?
PP: I'd say it fills me with joy because it’s a really fucking fun part. He’s a badass. He comes up against a lot of the main characters in the show. I'm very aware of the show. I watch it like a fan.
LH: Were you a fan before you arrived in Belfast?
PP: Yeah, I was a proper fan. I was caught up in the drama of it before I even auditioned for the part. I was already up to speed.
LH: I remember meeting you and thinking, “he fucking loves the show’.
PP: I kissed your ass.
LH: Well, it worked. We're friends now.
PP: I was like a tourist visiting the set, and yet I had to act with you and be in a scene with the characters that I had such a specific association with already.
LH: So you’re saying it’s boring?
PP: No, it wasn’t boring at all. It was extremely, relentlessly surreal.
LH: And who were your favourite characters up until that point?
PP: Not you.
LH: I realise that!
PP: There are too many characters to have a favourite, but I was fascinated by the Lannisters because they're so frightening. They scared me and then you would come in and pull sympathy from your audience somehow, and I found that rather fascinating. The Northerners were so easy to like or get behind, but it was quite something to see people sympathise with a Lannister, after you made people see things from their perspective.
LH: Speaking of being slightly ambiguous as a character, you come in as a major player and a very well-loved character in the eyes of people who read the books, and he’s somewhat of an anti-hero. Did you base him on anyone?
PP: What does an anti-hero mean exactly?
LH: It means he doesn't wear deodorant, doesn't it? [Laughs]. Someone you shouldn't champion, but you do, like Walter White in Breaking Bad.
PP: No, | didn’t really base him on anyone.
LH: Did you take anything from classic movies that you thought you could use and spin to your advantage playing the Red Viper?
PP: God, that’s a good question. I probably did subconsciously. Now I feel under the spotlight because I need to think of somebody, and I have so many in my mind! I think that’s something that is happening a lot in TV today: the anti-heroes are central to these television shows, and people are really getting behind them, even though they're not necessarily the most moral characters. So I'd say that ‘ve become more familiar with the character who's obviously very flawed but gets you on their side — you have complicated feelings about them. But I think I saw the story too much from this character's perspective to perceive any flaws.
LH: He has some.
PP: I know, from the outside. But I don't see any of them. What are his flaws?
LH: His flaws? He's a dirty bastard!
PP: Why is he a dirty bastard? He likes to fucking fight, for sure.
LH: Back to you as an actor. You've done it for a long time and, as we all know, the path is not always golden, and sometimes you think, “fuck it” and you want to leave it and do something else. Have there been moments where you wanted to give up?
PP: Yes, there have been moments where I came very close to giving up. But I never had anything to fall back on. I think you can understand that.
LH: Because were stupid?
PP: We're stupid.
LH: I can't even make pizza!
PP: We don’t have any other skills.
LH: None at all!
PP: And that’s the odd conundrum. You get to a point where you think, “This isn’t going to happen. This isn’t sustainable. I'm too exhausted, and it can't be good for me.” There were moments where I truly did try to formulate an idea of what I'd do. I thought I'd go back to school, start pre-med again and go to medical school or something like that.
LH: But that didn't happen, you just thought about it?
PP: Yes, I'd have thoughts, but it was still fantasy really. But at the time it felt like a practical life plan. Do you know what I mean?
LH: Yeah of course, you need to pay the fucking rent.
PP: Exactly. You just try to escape from the chaos of what you're feeling by trying to create order in your life. Order seems like a solution to save you from the pain of acting!
LH: It's a mental pain. Who was the first person you called when you got the role?
PP: My sister.
LH: Does she watch the show?
PP: Yes, she does.
LH: Pedro Pascal... or Pablo as I called you when I had too much wine, which was deeply insulting.
PP: Even family members have done that to me! Do I look more like a Pablo? Because it happens with about ninety-five percent of the people I meet.
LH: No, I think I’m just an ignorant drunk person.
PP: No, you were an ignorant drunk person that night is what you're saying.
LH: And now I’m educated.
PP: [Whispers] But | want you to call me Pablo.
LH: Ok, Pablo! When you first arrived on set in Northern Ireland, what was your feeling showing up to a bunch of British actors? Did it feel different to doing an American project?
PP: Yes, but I loved it. It wasn’t intimidating. I found it surreal because I’d watched and loved the show. I hadn't had the opportunity to work on something that I was really familiar with before, so it was overwhelming. But it was far more delightful than intimidating. Also you guys were really cool. Everyone was friendly.
LH: Oh, that’s just fake.
PP: Well, you guys were good at it!
LH: We know Game of Thrones is very popular obviously. Do you have any thoughts, or fears, about what this is going to bring you in terms of exposure?
PP: I have hope.
LH: Oh, God. I don’t mean to shatter that, but give it up.
PP: I don’t know really. It’s all been filmed, and now I'm back to my normal routine, so I haven't really thought about it. I remember when we finished filming and we were on our way to the airport, you asked me, “How does it feel you're all done?” and I couldn't really answer.
LH: You were quite emotional that day.
PP: I was very emotional because I’d had such an amazing time doing the part. Also just being there immersed in the experience... You described it to me best. You told me how I'd be feeling.
LH: We don't know your character's backstory when you enter the show, and you have some rather brutal scenes. Anyone who has read the books will know what I’m talking about.
PP: My character comes in, he stirs a bunch of shit up, and then he makes this fucking enormous exit. Now can | ask you a question?
LH: What is it? I’m not going to sleep with you. Give it up.
PP: Oh, come on! This has gone to shit and it’s your fault, so good luck to whoever has to edit it! But anyway, sometimes I'd hang out with the cast members and we'd go to dinner and they would get stopped constantly. There was no denying who they played because they were so recognisable, but you got away with it because you have this beautiful blonde wig on in the show, and in real life you are...
LH: Grey?
PP: {Laughs] No! You have beautiful chestnut hair! Is it liberating to not be recognised the way some of the other cast members are?
LH: Yes, it is liberating.
PP: Liberating being able to walk down an alley in Dubrovnik without being stopped?
LH: Yes, except sometimes | get recognised in the weirdest places. A woman was emptying my bag at Heathrow Airport's security gates and just went, “Are you the Queen?” while rummaging through my underwear. It was so fucking weird.
PP: It seems they're more respectful to you?
LH: Because they're frightened. Wait until they meet the Viper.
PP: Well, that covers it.
LH: I think we're going to get our own show out of this, you know
youtube
Interested in learning more about Pedro? Check out Pedro Pascal Unofficial on Pinterest!
#pedro pascal#lena headey#hunger magazine#shot October 2013#published December 2014#game of thrones#queen cersei#prince oberyn#oberyn#oberyn martell#hunger tv
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Lose Somebody
pairing: bokuto koutarou x fem!reader
warnings: angst, swearing, fluff, smut,
word count: 3,385
a/n: i get most of my ideas while listening to music, so listening to onerepublic - lose somebody got me this idea, it’ll be super fluffy so i hope you’ll enjoy it! <3
Synopsis: You’re friends with benefits with Bokuto and you fall in love him. Confessing your feelings for him, expecting him to feel the same only to be rejected and end your friendship with him. Will the two of you find your way back to each other?
≫ ----- ≪·•♕•·≫ ----- ≪
The sound of the second set being finished could be heard in the gymnasium. Loud cheering from the stands of people who were watching and clapping. Another win for Fukurodani, another win for Bokuto. He looked happy, cheering with his teammates. His loud “hey, hey hey” echoed through the big room. He had a talent for volleyball. He was one of the best spikers in all of Japan for his age and that was something. He was sure to be scouted when he went on to start college.
College. Those words echoed through your head. You didn't want to think about college, because college meant being seperated from Bokuto and that's something you didn't want to think about now. Now you needed to celebrate with him.
You'd known Bokuto since first year of high school. He was that goofy but very attractive guy that most girls wanted. You had accidentally bumped into him and that made you drop all of your textbooks, all of them ending up in a pile of paper on the floor and he had (to your surprise) bent down to help you and apologized over and over, even though it wasn't his fault. Ever since then you'd become friends and put up with all of his different mood swings and what nots, well you and Akaashi.
In these 3 years, the two of you had somehow ended up in bed together. The both of you had an attraction for each other, that you couldn't deny, but when he had said “let's not do that again” it had happened again anyway. So, Bokuto had then come up with a better solution after it had repeated yet another time.
“Let's just be friends with benefits.” He had blurted out late one night while the two of you were watching a movie on his bed.
“Huh? What?”
“You know. Fuck buddies, bed buddies. Whatever you call it.” Looking at him like a deer caught in the headlights, you didn't move a muscle.
“I know what friends with benefits mean, I am not stupid... I'm just surprised. That's all.”
“Well we've tried to not have sex but that didn't work out so why not just embrace it?” Pausing the movie he looked at you with anticipation, waiting for your answer.
“Sure, but don't go and fall in love with me, Bokuto Koutarou.”
“Pfft, like I have any time for that. I don't want a relationship anyway. All my focus is on volleyball and finishing school.” With that being said, he climed on top of you, his palms flat on the bed between your shoulders. Leaning down to seal the deal with a kiss, his lips trailed down, making you hot and bothered.
≫ ----- ≪·•♕•·≫ ----- ≪
You'd said for him not to fall in love with you, yet here you were, third year in high school and head over heels in love with Bokuto.
Sighing you removed yourself from the railing and started to move so you could greet him when he and the rest of the team exited the gymnasium. Reaching the big doors where the team exited you could see the back of Bokuto's head. His black and grey spikes being damp from sweat. His back muscles clinging to his sweaty back, making your knees go weak. Yesterday he had fucked you so hard on his bed that your nails had left marks on his back, but he didn't mind. He loved it, and you loved when the two of you were intimate. Just thinking about it made you horny.
“Oi! Airhead,” you yelled at the goofy boy who turned around and smiled when he saw you. Walking towards you he embraced you in his arms, your head hard against his chest.
“Did you see that last spike I did? It was awesome. I'm awesome.”
“Ew, you're sweaty and yes I did. I watched the whole game. You're lucky you got Akaashi to save your ass.”
“W-What? I... (y/n), so rude.” The big muscular man infront of you pouted and you could only giggle. It was fun to trigger him.
“Kidding. Or am I? Haha, anyway... Congrats on the big win Bokuto. How are you gonna celebrate?”
“Meanie, that's what you are and I was thinking of celebrating by having you naked in my bed,” smirking at you as he said it made you bite your lip, giving him the respons that he wanted.
“Okay. Fine by me.”
“Excellent. I'll text you when you can come over,” he said while slowly taking small steps backwards, his eyes never leaving you.
“Sure. Have fun,” waving goodbye at him you watched as he turned around and sprinted to where his teammates were. Once he was out of sight, your smile dropped and your left hand grabbed a hold of your shirt and sqeezed tightly. 'Tonight', you thought. 'Tonight, I'll confess.'
It was Akaashi who had asked you why you didn't confess to Bokuto one night. You'd been surprised that he'd figured out your feelings for him, but only because the two of you acted like a couple already. Everytime you were around Bokuto and his teammates the two of you would always be together; sitting next to each other, your head in his lap while he massaged your scalp or his fingers tracing patterns on your back as you hummed a tune that was stuck in your head.
The way you two would fight over what food to order or which movie to watch. Konoha had one time called you a couple and the both of you had denied it and soon it became an inside joke where the team teased both of you and after a while the both of you stopped arguing back.
You had noticed how Bokuto sometimes would watch you when you studied, or when you furrowed your eyebrows when you thought hard of something. He'd sometimes throw out compliments at you like cute, adorable and pretty. Those compliments would make you blush and it was then you'd noticed yourself that shit, you were in love with that airhead.
Walking towards your home, earphones in each ear and listening to some music you got home quicker than you'd anticipated. Both of your parents were away for buisness and being an only child sure has its perks.
Walking into your bathroom, you started the shower and began to undress and get ready for your night with Bokuto and hope that it won't be your last one.
≫ ----- ≪·•♕•·≫ ----- ≪
Bokuto has your back pressed against his bedroom door, his tongue invading yours, slowly stroking his own with yours. His hands finds the hem of your shirt, his lips parting from yours so he can pull it over your head and the throw it on the floor. It lands on a pile beside his own shirt that was discarded just minutes ago. His lips is quickly back on yours as his hips start to grind against your lower belly, a moan erupting from your mouth.
“No foreplay. I just wanna fuck, 'kay?” he speaks against your lips, working on getting your pants and thongs off of you, sliding them both down your legs, his lips leaving a trail of kisses from your neck and downwards.
“Mhm... oh-kay Kou,” you moan out his nickname and feel him leave a wet and sloppy kiss on your clit, making you jump at the sensation of his lips there.
Once he has you completely naked, he picks you up like you weight nothing and walks you towards his bed, placing you on the center of it. He's fast with taking off his own pants and briefs and basically throws himself at you. Him hovering over you as he thrusts inside you, without any warning, making you let out a loud moan. Your hands grab his shoulders, your nails digging deep into his skin. Marking him.
“Fuck yes, (y/n). You always feel so good around me.” Your walls tighten around him as you sigh in complete satisfaction.
“You feel good inside of me,” you answer him back. Both of your eyes looking into each other as he starts to move in and out of you, his eyes never leaving yours. If he doesn't see that you're utterly head over heels in love with him then he's just as stupid as he looks. Even though he looks like a sex god.
Bokuto places his forearms beside your head and leans down, his lips meeting yours. Closing your eyes you let him take the lead, chose which tempo he wants to take you in. His thrusts are slow and gentle, like he's making love to you and that makes your heart pound harder against your chest.
His lips pulls away from yours as his thrusts starts to quicken, your own hips start to meet his. He's looking at you, never leaving your gaze as you gaze up at him. Moans erupting from your mouth. His own moans and grunts are coming out every now and then. Sweat forming on his forehead as his hips starts to pound even harder against yours.
“Fuck this,” he speaks as he changes position so he's on his knees. His hands grabs your legs and pulls them together and hugs them against his chest, pulling your ass up so the head of his cock is hitting your g spot.
“Fuuuck, Bokuto. Oh my... god,” you moan out. 'I love you' you think as his hips slaps roughly against your ass. His hips keep getting rougher.
“Fuuuuuck. Cum (y/n). I'm close, so close.” The building sensation in your lower belly erupts and you cum without any warning, milking his cock with your juices.
“Fuck, Bokuto!” I love you. I love you. I love you. You chant in your head as you try to calm down your breathing.
“Shiiiit,” Bokuto swears as he reaches his own climax, his hot seed filling you up to the brim. His own breathing being heavy as he tries to calm down. He places your legs on each side of him and pulls out of you, and starts pacing in his bedroom.
“Kou?” you sit up on his bed and watch him.
“Why did you say it? Was it because of the sex or was it something else?” Oh no.
“W-What are you talking about, Kou?”
“The 'I love you' part, (y/n). Is there something you wanna tell me?” He stops pacing and looks at your horrified expression.
“I-” you try to form your words but, by the way he's reacting you already know how he feels, and it's slowly breaking your heart. “I-I'm in love with you Bokuto.”
“No, (y/n). You know I don't want a relationship. I need to focus on volleyball.”
“Why can't you do that and love me at the same time? Nothing will change, only that we're a couple. You feel the same, right? I mean the way that you're with me.”
Letting out a big sigh, Bokuto gazes at you. His eyes stern. “I don't feel the same (y/n). I'm sorry. We should stop this-” you don't let him finish his sentence. Your eyes already watering and you can slowly hear how your heart is breaking, piece by piece it's falling apart.
“Yes,” you answer him, almost whispering. You climb off the bed and start to dress yourself, quickly.
“Wait, stay. I don't want you to go home this late. It's already 10PM and-”
“You can't be serious. I just confessed that I am in love with you, you moron and you expect me to stay? I can't stay.” Pulling on the sweater over your head, you brush away the tears that had just fallen. “We can't be friends. I can't see you. Just looking at you now is breaking me. I need time. Space. Don't call, don't text, don't try to speak to me. Just... leave me alone,” your last words come out as a sob as you walk out from his room, to the hallway and pull on your shoes fast. Slamming the door behind you as you leave the Bokuto residence. Sobs erupting from your mouth and tears falling down as you walk with fast steps home.
Bokuto could only watch from his bedroom window as you walked away from him, wondering why there was an aching pain in his chest.
≫ ----- ≪·•♕•·≫ ----- ≪
It had been a week since you'd last seen Bokuto. You missed him. So much. You wanted to write 'I miss you' on a rock and throw it in his face just to show him how much it hurts missing him. But what good would that do? It wouldn't make him love you.
Once you had gotten home that night a week ago you had slammed the front door hard and started sobbing, your back against the door as you slowly slid your back down so you were sitting against it instead. Your face in the palm of your hands as you continued to sob and hated the pain that was in your chest. You wanted it gone. You wanted to forget about Bokuto. You wanted him out of your life.
Okay, not really. You wanted him to feel the same. You wanted him to tell you that he loved you. That it was all a stupid prank and that he actually loved you.
The vibrating sound of your phone against the bedside table interrupted you from your thoughts as you picked it up, seeing a text message from Akaashi.
Akaashi Keiji: Hi. How are you doing?
You: I'm shit. Literally a bag of shit.
Akaashi Keiji: Well if it makes you feel any better, Bokuto-san is feeling like shit too.
You: Good. He should. Asshole.
Akaashi Keiji: Give it time. I think the both of you need time apart. He'll come around, I'm sure.
You: What I need isn't what I want, but thanks Akaashi-kun.
You throw your phone down beside you on the bed. The feeling of tears welling up in your eyes yet again.
“Stop fucking crying (y/n),” you tell yourself loudly and sigh, brushing away the tears with the sleeve of your shirt. For a week now you'd been drowning in your own tears. Skipping school and just lying in bed, sleeping and barely eating. Just drowning in your own sadness, wishing for Bokuto and his arms to embrace you. Wishing for this nightmare to be over.
Once again does your phone vibrate and when you look at who it is, you suddenly forget how to breathe. A text message from Bokuto.
Bokuto “Airhead” Koutarou: Hey, hey, heeeeey (y/n). How are you? Okay shit question but... I know you don't want to see me and you said not to speak to you but I really wanna see you and talk with you. Can I come over?
You: No. Leave me alone!
You start crying again. How much can a person even cry? When was this going to end? You didn't know how much more heartache you could take...
≫ ----- ≪·•♕•·≫ ----- ≪
Walking into school on a monday morning you tried to look normal, like your whole world wasn't crashing right in front of you. Reaching your locker, you pulled out your shoes, pulling them on and walking towards your classroom. Not in the slightest ready for a class. Reaching the stairs, you start to climb up only to be stopped as someone was waiting for you at the top of the stairs. That someone being Bokuto.
Sighing, you continue and walk past him. “I told you to leave me alone.”
“I just wanna talk,” he spoke as he caught up with you. Him slightly walking behind you.
“Well, I don't. I wanna get over you and I can't do that when you're interrupting me all the damn time.”
“I don't like this eaither. I'm also hurting.” You stop in your tracks, making Bokuto bump right into you.
“You're hurting?” You say, a bit louder than what you intended. Turning around to face him, tears in your eyes, you speak again. “You don't know what I'm feeling. My heart is fucking broken. I love you. I've loved you all this time and I was so fucking stupid for thinking that you felt somewhat the same but stupid little (y/n) could only think as long as her nose can reach.” You start to walk away from him. Class had already begun and the hallways were empty, only you and Bokuto were there.
“Sometimes you gotta lose somebody just to find out you really loved someone,” he speaks. Making you stop in your tracks once again. You start to breathe heavily as you wait for him to continue.
“I've never experienced love before. I was scared, of what I can't tell but I was stupid, okay?” His footsteps kept getting louder and clearer, meaning he was closing in on you.
“My heart cannot find rest while you are gone, everything has lost its color since you are not here. I miss you. The biggest mistake of my life was letting you go. Trust me, all I want is to be with you. I-” Bokuto stops himself for speaking any further. He's close to you, so close that when you see him moving so he's in front of you all you can do is to watch his body, not daring to look at him as your tears are pouring from your eyes, listening to his words.
“I love your flaws, laugh, smile, tears, mistakes, errors, nagging and lies. Despite everything, I just want to be with you again. And this time, I won't let you go. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you're not happy, I'll be your smile. If you need me, I'll always be there.”
There's a big quiet moment before he speaks again. “If I could do it all over again... I would know what it felt like to lose you. If you give me just one more chance I promise, I will do everything in my power to keep you.”
Taking a deep breath, you gaze up into his eyes. Seeing the hurt in them. Okay so maybe Akaashi didn't lie. He did look like shit. Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, you opened them again. Looking into his golden orbs as you spoke.
“I'm scared, Bokuto. But maybe I'm scared because you mean more to me than any other person. You are everything I think about, everything I need, everything I want.”
He stepped even closer, your chest now touching his. You could hear your own heartbeat, nervous of what his reply would be.
His hands reaches for yours, holding them as he speaks to you. “I know... I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you? I know I don't deserve you, I don't have right to even be asking this... but please, just one more chance. I am not promising not to fight with you, or get mad at you but I am promising to give myself to you, completely. Please, just let me try to be what you need.”
“Okay,” you answer because you want him. You want him in your arms, on your lips, in your bed. All of him. His mind, soul and body, all at once.
“W-What?”
“I said okay. Want me to repeat myself airhead?” You smile at him. The goofy and emotional captain of the Fukurodani volleyball team smiles back at you.
“Don't go and use Kuroo's nicknames on me.”
“You'll always be an airhead, wheter you like it or not.”
“C'mere,” he said as he pulls you to him, embracing you in his strong arms. His cologne hitting your nose. He pulls your chin up with his hand and kisses you softly on the lips. Both of your eyes closing as you lean into the kiss more, his lips tasting like mint.
“I've missed this,” you speak softly against him, your lips never breaking apart.
“Me too.”
“Don't leave me again.”
“Never,” he replied as he pulls you even closer, not daring to let you go.
#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#haikyu#haikyuu!! x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyu x reader#bokuto koutarou#bokuto kōtarō#bokuto x reader#bokuto koutarou x reader#bokuto kōtarō x reader#bokuto smut#bokuto angst#bokuto fluff#fukurōdani#fukurodani#fukuroudani#haikyuu!! smut#haikyuu smut#haikyu smut#haikyuu!! angst#haikyuu angst#haikyu angst#haikyuu!! fluff#haikyuu fluff#haikyu fluff
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falcon, falcon, goose!
pairing: sam wilson / reader
word count: 3547
summary: there were reports of geese leading people to their soulmates spanning centuries, and it seemed like a cool concept, but why did it have to coincide with you coming out of your writing slump?
warnings: cursing, geese, dumbassery, implied happy au where the avengers get along, iw and endgame who?
a/n: this is an older piece i wrote a couple years ago, decided to brush it up and repost it. and the reader works for snl bc why the hell not? keep in mind that the original was written before everything went to shit w iw & endgame. posted from mobile yet again yall what is wrong w me
it was a sunny day outside, and deciding that you had been cooped up for far too long, you brought your laptop to the park a couple blocks from your studio apartment.
being a writer for saturday night live wasn't always so peachy, what with the lack of a social life outside of your co-workers and constantly explaining your job to confused relatives. you had been in a slump for the past couple weeks, the fact most of your sketch ideas not making the cut for the next episode continuing to throw you off your rhythm.
this week, you were going to change that. Your headphones were playing your concentration playlist full volume and you were hyped to the max. with your laptop on the picnic table in front of you and a warm cup of tea beside it, you were ready to blow the producers away with your next idea.
"honk! honk!"
you felt something nudge your leg, but you were too engrossed into what you were typing to care. after getting through a few more lines, it happened again.
"honk! honk! honk!"
you couldn't hear the sound but the feeling on your leg got a little bit rougher, more demanding. you moved your headphones to the side for a minute and took a moment to look around you. there was no kid running to get their ball back or any squirrels nearby that dropped a nut.
strange.
but you put your headphones back on, trying to keep your groove alive while hoping the interruptions are finished.
"HONK! HONK! HONK!" the goose honked louder, pecking at your leg harder than it had earlier.
you were getting frustrated and a little pissed. the creativity was flowing through your veins for the first time in what felt like ages and this — whatever it was — decided that today was the best day to annoy you.
you kicked your legs out with a strange flail and when you came into contact with something large and solid you nearly screamed.
"ow! motherf- oh my god!"
standing on the ground beside your table was a goose. it honked yet again with impatience (geese could do that?) and nipped lightly at your thigh closest to it. looking to the pond nearby, it was nearly an entire gaggle of the damned things.
so here was this goose honking at you and nipping at you like you were supposed to know what the hell it wanted from you.
"i don't have any bread, dumbass. go find someone else to bother." thinking it would leave if you ignored it, you turned away and continued your work.
"HONK! HONK!" it continued to honk and decided to peck you before flapping its wings, landing itself on the table next to your computer.
"get outta here, ya damn goose!" while you were trying to shop it away, it expertly evaded you. "go! shoo! leave me alone!"
it just stayed over on the bench, expertly dodging your attempts to get it to leave.
a few people nearby had heard your altercation with the infernal bird. one of them was an older gentleman that laughed as he sat across from you, the mirth in his eyes glinting as you give him a sarcastic side eye while trying to deal with the current issue.
"that bird won't leave you alone, you know." At his voice, the goose calmed down and waddled a few feet away from your arm's reach.
that was the first time the thing had been seemingly calm since he showed up at your little table.
"what do you mean he won't leave me alone?"
he pauses, part of him enjoying the irritation in your tone. he remembers someone talking to him like he was to you many years ago, and it made his heart smile at the idea of repaying the favor. "have you ever read about soulmate geese?"
"hey we're gonna go for a run, wanna join?" steve’s offer was given with a smirk. ever since reuniting with bucky, the two supersoldiers found so much humor in doing laps around sam every time they went out jogging.
it annoyed the shit out of him, the "on your left" comments from steve and the newer "on your right" jabs from bucky, but it also pushed Sam to work harder during his runs. ultimately he knew his non-enhanced body didn't stand much of a chance beating them, but he enjoyed when he was able to close the gap between their times just a little bit.
"sure, just gimme a few to eat breakfast and I'll join you guys." the blond nodded and turned back to the elevator, having woken up far earlier than sam and therefore already ate.
he hummed otis redding as he laid the bacon flat into the pan, shoulders moving along with his created rhythm while changing the grounds in the coffee filter. this was how he spent most of his mornings, barring the occasional hangovers and missions where he couldn't afford the distraction.
he ate, got dressed, and told FRIDAY to let bucky and steve know he was ready to go. h had his water bottle in hand, giving his body a pep talk in preparation for the run. they met in the common room and soon, the trio was off.
"on your left!"
"on your right!"
"oh, come on!"
he knew it was gonna happen, but for some reason it felt like it happened sooner than normal. either they were trying really hard to mess with him today, or he was off his game. but regardless, he pushed his body harder than he probably should have because when there was something obstructing his path, he didn't pause. no, he charged it straight on through and fell hard.
steve and bucky had seen this from a distance and immediately rushed to get to their friend.
sam rolled onto his back, exhausted and now in terrible pain from the fall. he closed his eyes and just let it all sink in. when he opened his eyes at the sudden foul smell flooding his nostrils, he could feel the palpitations, thinking he was about to have a heart attack.
"holy shit!" sam sat up like a rocket despite the way his body was throbbing from the fall.
the goose stared at him curiously and turned its head toward the pounding footsteps from the approaching brooklynites.
"sam! What happened?" steve was concerned, inspecting sam while bucky noticed the bird. The brunet bent down to meet the goose eye-level and was somewhat surprised that it didn't run away at the close proximity.
"did you trip the dumbass? was it your fault sam landed on his face? Huh, little guy?"
"honk! honk!"
"i thought so. good job, man." bucky pats the animal on the head gently before turning to help steve get sam off the ground.
"nothing’s broken but there's probably a sprain, can't really be sure until we get to cho." sam and bucky lift their friend from the pavement and they have no problem supporting his weight.
they began the walk back to the tower in silence. well, almost silence. there was a faint pitter-patter of tiny, webbed feet behind them that sam and bucky weren't paying attention to.
steve noticed the goose slowly waddling behind the trio and looked at sam with a smile. sam responded to steve’s happy face with a glare, not enjoying any of the situation he found himself in.
"look behind us, guys."
both men took turns looking behind them and see the goose waddling behind them patiently. sam wasn't particularly happy about the culprit from moments before trailing behind him, but bucky thought it was hilarious.
"do you know what this means?"
sam rolled his eyes because he thought the blond was about to make some sort of poetic comment about one thing for another.
bucky had paused to think about the implications of a random goose for a moment before gasping. "dude," bucky nudged sam softly, being conscious of his friend's injuries. "you’re gonna meet your soulmate, man!"
"a soulmate goose. man come on, are you out of your mind?"
"steve got his goose back during the war, i think we know enough about it."
sam had only heard vague reports of soulmate geese throughout his life, but now that he thought about it, it did make sense. the goose showed up randomly in the middle of his routine, completely throwing him off, and was now refusing to leave him alone.
"well if this is my soulmate goose, then somebody’s gotta tell tony about our newest avenger." they laughed at the implication, viciously eager to witness tony’s reaction to the newest resident of avengers hq.
it has been three days of dealing with your goose, and you were now teased at work as “bird brain”, walking into your office to see several loaves of bread covering the desk. your goose, that you had named piper once you got home, was excited at the prospect of more food, but you planned on donating most of the bread to local shelters, only keeping a couple loaves for the house.
the guest host that week was mick jagger, and he had emerged into the room “i dream of jeanie” style, startling both you and piper, who honked at him in irritation.
it was time for you to work on the song for your little sketch with him, and you had only two more days before performance night (it was thursday) to finish writing it. after settling down and getting into the right mindset, the writing process had begun.
"alright let's see," mick murmured. "let’s all go to the picnic, let's all have a drink. what rhymes with 'drink'?"
you thought for a moment and said quietly, "think?"
you weren't prepared for the absurd response you received from the man, his accent making him round mean as he barked out a loud "NO!" with an unnecessary hand gesture.
piper just about lost it. she was honking and flapping around your office in a tizzy (but staying away from mick because the man was seen as a stranger she wasn't comfortable with).
you racked your brain for another solution, something else to rhyme with 'drink' and you eventually found it: "sink?"
mick thought about it for a moment before replying with a much lighter "yes!" also paired with unwarranted pointing.
‘motherfucker, is this how you write songs?!'
thursday and friday came and went, and soon it was time for your piece to be performed by mick. du to an accidental ankle twist someone else suffered, you were forced to perform a skit live for the first time in your career. it would have been great, but there was one teensy problem: piper blatantly refused to leave your side when it was time to perform, and she would honk and bite anyone that tried to keep her from you onstage.
even poor bobby, who she had grown fond of, was taking the brunt of it. she was not allowing you to be more than a couple feet away from her, and it was almost endearing if you weren't being broadcast on national television.
apparently, piper would also be making her debut appearance on saturday night live tonight as well.
saturday had arrived, and it was sam’s day of rest. he spent the day doing the bare minimum, eating junk food and watching almost everything on netflix he could find.
he didn't stray too far from tradition, not really. it was just that now he had a goose accompanying him the entire time, honking at this and that and eating occasional pieces of popcorn that sam didn't want to share.
he didn't mind his feathered companion, he was actually quite fond of his goose at this point. whitewing (not to be confused with redwing) was the most calm goose any of them had seen, no biting or nipping and especially no honking at ungodly hours of the night.
steve was perplexed. "Are you sure whitewing hasn't done anything bad? no waking you up at night or bites when you don't feed him soon enough?"
sam would chuckle and shake his head, proud to have such a calm goose. "why are you so keen to see him misbehave? aren’t all soulmate geese like this?"
"for lack of a better word, most geese are assholes. i don't know how whitewing is so well behaved," steve balked at the very idea of all geese being so mellow and decided it was story time.
steve’s goose from the century before was the most rambunctious animal anyone had ever seen. he recounted the first and several occasions following where his soulmate goose, jimmy, fended off the blond man's alleyway attackers.
sam was extremely grateful that whitewing had less feral and goose-like tendencies. whitewing was extremely well behaved and had an almost human way about him, the way he honked in reply to sam or the rest of the team when they talked to him.
it was late in the evening when clint decided to plop down onto the couch and flick the channel to nbc, where tonight's host was mick jagger.
"why are we watching this?" sam was enjoying his sitcoms before the other bird man had showed up.
"i haven't watched it in ages, plus mick jagger is on tonight."
"alright, whatever you want."
the intro played like usual, and whitewing was perfectly complacent. they laughed in the right places with the occasional honking from the bird, and everything was great.
"hey man, look!" clint interrupted, keeping sam from being able to hear the punchline. "i think that's a goose!"
"why is there a goose? The skit has nothing to with-"
sam and clint seemed to come to the same realization at the same time as whitewing, the goose beginning to honk incessantly. he was going absolutely berserk, flapping his wings and hopping off of sam’s lap and onto the coffee table, occasionally pecking at the tv where he saw the other goose.
he was going absolutely bonkers.
"whitewing! whitewing, no! calm down!" sam scrambled to calm down his goose, but he was having none of it. the whole entire skit, whitewing was honking and flapping and being a general nuisance.
he found his soulmate.
whitewing kept at it until the screen went to a commercial, his soulmate off of the screen.
"y’know," clint spoke around a slice of pizza. when did he get pizza? "if you hurry, you could go to the studio and meet your soulmate. the show is about halfway over."
before sam could think over the proposition, tony’s voice was heard from the corridor. "somebody shut that damned bird up before I pay ramsay to cook it!"
"i’m taking care of it!"
with that, sam heads to the armory with whitewing on his tail to get his wings. once he's equipped, sam heads to the window and jumps, immediately setting his course for studio 8h and his soulmate.
you’re released to go back to your office once you finish the skit alongside mick and piper, the show almost over. you’re gathering your things lazily, knowing that you have no other responsibilities for the night.
just as you lock your office and piper is waddling beside you without a care in the world, you see kyle running towards you with a look of fear in his eyes. that fear seems to only triple when his eyes land on piper beside you.
"kyle! what’s-"
"there’s another goose on the set! no one is safe!"
wait, was he bleeding?!
you were going to try and help your friend but one look at piper sent him off the rails, the lanky man nearly falling on his ass in an attempt to skid the corner. you hoped that someone would help calm your panicked friend, seeing as you were literally the worst person for the job at the moment.
without further incident, you are able to say goodbye to cecily and mikey before you're stopped in your tracks by michael, who gives piper a funny look.
"wait, so the goose that attacked kyle wasn't piper?" You shake your head in confusion. "dude, your soulmate must have come to the set!"
piper must have either understood what your co-worker had said or she could sense a change in the studio, but she began to honk erratically and run away from you. the last thing new york needed was two feral geese running around attacking people, so you did what anyone would do and ran after her.
"piper! piper, come back!" michael laughed as you chased after your goose. while you were running, you nearly died when you heard a honk that you knew wasn't from your piper. hers were carved into your brain, and you were positive that you could pick hers out of an entire gaggle of geese, so there was indeed a second goose in the studio.
to your dismay, piper did not stop and wait, she just kept on honking and flapping and scaring people in pursuit of the other goose, poor old you having to chase her.
there was another voice you assumed was yelling at his goose since you didn't know of anyone naming their kid whitewing. your eyes were not looking straight ahead when you suddenly bumped into someone, immediately stumbling a bit before regaining your balance.
piper had stopped her honking and that scared you. did someone hurt her? was she-
her and another goose were making muted honks to each other. they sounded like affectionate honks, which is one of the weirdest sentences you ever constructed in your head. but it was true! they were cuddling close to each other and making really quiet honking noises at each other, and if that wasn’t affectionate then you didn’t know what would be.
so if piper found her soulmate, that means yours was-
"i hope comin' to your job was okay. whitewing wasn't gonna give up until I left, so here we are." your eyes were dragged from the touching scene of piper and her special goose to a pair of dark brown irises that radiated warmth and a promise of happy days.
you were absolutely dumbstruck. your mouth was unable to form coherent words, so you decided to take in the appearance of your soulmate. he was wearing a soft grey tee and sweatpants, and socks without shoes. did he realize how unsanitary the streets of new york were?
but upon further investigation, you realize that he probably didn't walk to the studio. on his back was what you would normally call a jetpack, but when you recognize the face your mind completes the puzzle: your soulmate is sam wilson, otherwise known as the falcon. holy shit.
"uh yeah of course, i guess you flew here? no sane person in new york would walk around barefoot in the street." did you really just say that?!
sam nodded and then remembered that he was in his pajamas in front of his soulmate without any shoes. "yeah, he wasn't gonna stop attacking the tv once he saw uh…"
you realized he was asking for your goose’s name, and so you hastily gave it to him.
"yeah, once he saw piper, he went wild. caused more chaos in five minutes than he did in five days!"
you laugh, the nervousness falling away as you recount the story of you first meeting with piper.
people are staring at the pajama-clad avenger and his soulmate, their geese finally satisfied. after all, it wasn't every day so many people were able to watch soulmate geese (and their people) meet for the first time.
sam gently took your hand, his thumb smoothing the skin on the back of it, just listening to you talk. you asked him a question about whitewing and he was in the middle of telling you when he cut himself off. "i just realized i don't even know your name!"
in most scenarios you’d be slightly put off by this, but you didn't have an issue because of the specific circumstances. if he weren't an avenger you wouldn't have known his either, and plus, no one really pays attention to the little rat writers. you give him your name and smile when he introduces himself, his voice even helping show off the brightest smile you’ve ever seen.
with impeccable goose timing, piper and whitewing honk at you to hurry your introductions and leave the studio.
"do you want to fly back to your place , or can I drive you?" it was a risk to ask him such a question, but you were genuinely concerned. you hoped he wouldn't think you were trying to jump his bones only minutes after meeting him so you used (terrible) humor to show your intentions. "you shouldn't fly so late at night without headlights, no matter how high up you get."
sam’s laughter was infectious and soon you joined him, your geese about to get more irritated with their humans.
"yeah, I'd like that. lead the way, soulmate." piper and whitewing honk as the two of you head to the lobby hand in hand, the birds waddling behind you just as happy as soulmate geese could be.
#falcon#sam wilson x reader#sam wilson#mcu#marvel#falcon falcon goose!#sam wilson imagine#falcon imagine#bucky barnes#please don’t judge this mess
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ok so i need to place this information somewhere and i just decided id post it here
idk if im even gonna post the actual superhero au fic but im posting it here anyways
this superhero au is gonna fit all the angst in here because there is little angst in the chaos crew au lmao
but here are the separate arcs each is gonna face in this au under the cut
(there is gonna be some graphic stuff so be warned)
(it is also going to be very long)
heed the tags guys
Logan
A very important factor for his entire character in this au is that he has cybernetics. His right eye, his left arm, and the lower half of his left leg. This happened due to an explosion, his arm and lower left leg essentially blown off, and shrapnel piercing his eye.
His arc centers around his cybernetics, thinking they are a burden, and feeling like he doesn’t fit in, along with feeling inadequate.
Logan struggles with thinking that his cybernetics aren’t truly a part of him, just something he has to deal with. A burden. He resents it, there’s no sugarcoating it. He wishes he had his human limbs back.
In his arc, he’ll deal with the fact he has them, and that no amount of wishing will ever change it. He accepts them as a part of himself, an imperfect part, for sure, but every human is imperfect. Hell, even human parts of himself are imperfect, so it fits right in.
Before he accepts it as a part of himself, though, he deals with feelings of inadequacy. People often pitied him (keep in mind they thought he had prosthetics), trying to ‘lighten the load’ for him. He appreciated the thought, but they never let him do anything. He felt like they were belittling him. Logan tried to brush it off, but deep down, he worried that he truly was inadequate. Was he weak? Should he even be doing these things? Was he good enough? Sometimes...Logan felt he wasn’t.
But, once he hits the arc with accepting his cybernetics, he faces this feeling of inadequacy and proves it wrong. He’s been doing things normal humans couldn’t dream of and the city’s still thriving. He’s faced countless robbers, countless villains, and found a home with the team. He was good enough. He was okay. He’d be fine. Of course, sometimes he’d still have those feelings of not being good enough, but he could deal with it now. It wasn’t something that haunted his nightmares.
But, even after the whole cybernetic arc, he still faces the problem of not fitting in. Even before having superpowers and cybernetics, he wasn’t like other children. He was the eldest child, so his parents were basically helicopter parents, afraid he was going to get hurt in some way. As he got older and he had more siblings, they got a bit more lax, but he still hadn’t done things normal children had done. He didn’t explore, didn’t interact much with other children (though that was more of his doing), barely went outside, and had his every move basically monitored. Logan preferred reading a book to playing at the park, drawing a picture instead of hanging out with friends, etc., etc. So, he always felt a bit like an outsider. It only got worse once he had the incident.
Now, he had fucking powers and literal robotics attached to his body, and he was scared. He was angry. He was...confused. How would his life change? What would happen to him? Then, all of a sudden, he got roped into being a fucking vigilante and just had to deal with it.
Then, he joins this team, all of them so much more normal than him, and he still doesn’t know what to do. He’s scared they are going to judge him, belittle him, like so many before them had done.
But...they don’t. They accept him, they joke with him, they are happy with him. And, he slowly starts to relax. He comes out of his shell and he feels...complete. It’s okay he isn’t normal. It’s okay he doesn’t exactly fit in. Everything is okay.
He doesn’t blame his parents for being helicopter parents, he still loves them and his siblings. He knows they were worried about him. Sure, they did mess up, but he’s made countless mistakes in his life too. He doesn’t blame them or his siblings. They helped him become who he is and he is eternally grateful for that.
Patton
Patton faces the problem of his public image and his own self-image. In public and when he is Typhoon, he puts on this bright and chipper personality. And it’s grueling to keep up because that is not who he truly is. He’s much more mischievous, much more sarcastic, much more brash, much more himself.
He tries to keep up this optimistic persona because he doesn’t want backlash. He’s afraid of what people would say if they saw the real thing. So, he puts up an image. Smile, all the time. Wave enthusiastically. Don’t let them see through you. Act like you’re fine. You always have to be fine, right? That’s what Patton thinks, at least.
With his arc, he slowly learns to just accept himself. It helps when Virgil joins the team, because he sees him not putting up a facade. He acts himself, dark and broody, sarcastic and sardonic. And nobody really questioned it or gave him backlash. Patton has this moment of ‘Oh’ because he realizes that he can show what he truly is. He no longer has to hide.
When he first starts showing himself as he actually is, he’s scared. It’s only natural, no matter how much you prepared for it, you will still be scared. Some people notice. There are a few news articles as some just want drama. But, his team, his friends, his family backs him up and it strengthens his resolve. He learns to ignore those types of people, knowing they only want drama. He can finally be...himself.
Roman
Oh boy, this is going to be a doozy.
Roman’s angst is that his entire world view changes, his beliefs (not religious) crumble. Everything just seems to flip for him.
Roman had always thought that everyone could be redeemed. No matter the deed. Everyone deserves a second chance. He’s faced criminals and villains with this belief at the forefront of his mind.
When everything else seemed to be crumbling around him, this belief sustained him. It kept him going. It was a constant when nothing else stayed the same.
But now? Now everything is foreign. Everything is changing with nothing being that constant that he so desperately needed. This situation he is facing hits even closer to home because--well, I’m afraid I can’t say because of spoilers, but let’s just say it may involve a certain mustached villain ;)
But, anyways, in his arc, he realizes that everything can’t just be sunshine and daisies. He’s known this before, but it hits full force now. He has to accept that some people can’t be redeemed, that some are just...evil. He hates to admit it, but he knows it’s true.
His friends--no, family backed him up. They helped him with this realization, helped to make sure he doesn’t break. And he is so, so, so, so grateful and thankful for them.
He knows that some people can’t change. He’s...well, he’s not fine with it, but he accepts it at the very least. And when he looks around at his family, seeing how genuine and kind they are, he knows that, no matter what, all he needs is his family to survive.
Virgil
He faces problems with his self-esteem, his own anxiety, and his fear of lack of self-control.
He has little self-esteem. He always has, really. Since he was a kid, he always overthought everything he did, criticized himself severely, always tried to push himself harder, in unhealthy amounts. It all left him feeling so tired.
He kept doing this even into adulthood, checking himself, always wondering if he could do better, barely feeling good about things he did. Things he wanted to be proud of, but just couldn’t.
When he joins the team, it’s a slow process. He was immensely afraid of being judged, of being insulted, of them. They were all these heroes the city recognized and praised and he was left feeling like shit, in his mind at least. He felt like he couldn’t keep up. Virgil kept trying to push himself harder to at least try and be on the same level as them, but ended up pushing much too hard, passing out from exhaustion and stress.
They realized his mindset, having had once had this mindset themselves, and help him deal with it, help him try to minimize it because it’s not something you can be fully rid of. They know this themselves because sometimes they still get those moments, where they feel they aren’t doing enough and push harder, too harder. But, the best they can do is to deal with it. And that’s exactly what Virgil does.
His anxiety is also a doozy.
It holds him back so much. Especially with fear of failing. He doesn’t want to fail anybody. He wants to do the best he can and do it perfectly. But, the problem is that he can’t. He knows he can’t and it terrifies him. His anxiety and fear of failing prevent him from doing so many things just because of what could go wrong.
The team also helps with this. They provide somebody he can rant to and offer solutions and different types of perspective. They help him to realize that if you only worry about what could go wrong, then you wouldn’t be able to do anything, you wouldn’t be able to live. Because with that mindset, you aren’t living, you are only surviving.
And they help Virgil see this point. Help him to not let his anxiety hold him back from things he really wants to do. And it provides him with so many opportunities.
They all know that sometimes, it’s going to happen. Sometimes, Virgil just can’t be able to do something because the fear practically paralyzes him. It’s like with his self-esteem issues. It’s not something you can be rid of, just something you have to deal with. They help him when this happens, help bring him back to reality and help to calm him down.
Lastly, his fear of no self-control. You have to remember that their powers can be heavily influenced by emotions. Strong bursts of emotions can work it into overdrive. Too much use of their powers can also use all of their energy. In very extreme cases, it can lead to death.
But, while Virgil is also afraid of the side effects, he’s mostly afraid of what his powers can do to other people, innocent people. And, to him, it’s a found fear. It’s happened before. He’s hurt others without meaning to and he vowed to never do it again. This is partly why he became a vigilante, to protect others instead of hurting them. But he is so afraid of still harming them and he has nightmares about it. It practically haunts him. He fears turning into those killers and villains he’s fought.
Once again, the team is very helpful in debunking this. They’ve explained their own experiences, explained how they themselves have hurt innocents without meaning to, and it’s something you have to just...deal with, like all other problems. It doesn’t make you a bad person. Him worrying about being a bad person just proves furthermore that he isn’t. After all, a bad person wouldn’t care about it. But, he does. And that is what provides the difference.
Janus
spoilers spoilers spoilers
Remus
spoilers spoilers spoilers-
#sanders sides#superhero au#logan sanders#virgil sanders#remus sanders#unsympathetic remus#janus sanders#roman sanders#patton sanders#angst#logan angst#patton angst#roman angst#virgil angst#janus angst#(yes he has angst too but it's s p o i l e r s)#tw explosion mention#tw self esteem issues#tw self deprecation#tw self criticizing#tw self image#tw death mention#tw cursing#im not too happy with roman and pattons section#i know what i want to say but i cant form it in words#so they are the shortest#so many tags-#no proofreading we die like men#sorry if i missed any triggers
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stuck with you
➵ request: can i request fluff + au #2 + trope #1 "enemies to lovers" + prompt #4 & #19?? thank you 🥰
➵ lee donghyuck x reader | fluff, enemies to lovers au, high school au | 2,760 words | “take off your shirt.” + “can you shut up for just two seconds?”
➵ warnings: cursing and one second of suggestive stuff
➵ a/n: thank u for requesting! i really hope u like it :D i added timestamps to avoid confusion, so this turned out longer than expected oops. if u want a part 2, please let me know!
want to request? check this post out!
present time – thursday, 6:30 p.m.
you’re starting to wish time machines existed right about now. you’ll do just about anything to go back to two hours ago and avoid this mess.
you glance up at donghyuck, who’s put on his thinking cap apparently, and is trying to come up with a way to get you two the hell out of here. “do you have a hairpin? or a bobby pin?” he asks.
you shake your head, “donghyuck, that only works in movies.”
“y/n, i’m trying to come up with solutions here! or do you wanna live in this tiny janitor’s closet for the rest of your life?” he glares at you.
“if i did, i would’ve chosen someone else to share oxygen with. why would i choose you?” you glare back.
he rolls his eyes, indicating that that conversation is over. “whatever. try calling your friends again. someone must still be at school, right?”
you frown, “donghyuck, we had the student council meeting earlier, remember? that ended at six, and it’s almost six-thirty now. all the sports teams’ practice sessions must’ve ended, too. i’m telling you, it’s just us in school.” you shake a little as if trying to wake up from a crazy dream. no avail.
you’re stuck here–no, wait. someone locked you two in here. you’re going to have to trace back your steps to figure out who.
thursday, 4:00 p.m.
“the weekly student council meeting is in session. today, we’re going to discuss prom! i’ve put up a list on the bulletin board that says who’s going to do what. please take a look at it immediately.” you explained, gazing around the group of students in front of you.
you’re the president and donghyuck is the vice president. you two work together almost every day, you’re in the same classes, you have the same friends. but there’s one minor detail in your guys’ relationship: you two hate each other.
hate might be a bit too strong of a word, but it’s true. you and donghyuck, despite working together and being in the same class since third grade, have never gotten along. maybe it’s your guys’ competitiveness. maybe it’s your strong desire to one-up the other. but as long as you can recall, there hasn’t been a single time when he hasn’t made your blood boil.
anyway, you and donghyuck were in charge of planning your senior prom, and ensuring everything and everyone follows said plan.
while discussing the event, you realised you forgot to check with your school’s janitor if he’s free on the day of prom, or if he’s taking a holiday. either way was fine with you, as you were thinking of making everyone clean up after themselves. but just to be sure, you and donghyuck, unfortunately, decided to stop by the closet after the meeting had ended.
thursday, 6:05 p.m.
“i don’t think he’s here. it is after school hours, so i think he went home,” you said, peeping into the dark closet. it was pretty obvious he wasn’t there–the room couldn’t have been more than five feet by five feet. it’s a storage space, but the janitor keeps his bag here before starting work and picks it up right before leaving school.
“yeah, no shit, sherlock.” donghyuck reached around you to flip the light switch on. the lone bulb suspended from the ceiling blazed to life, setting the room alight.
then, suddenly, a figure pushed donghyuck into the confined space, which caused you to jerk inwards. it happened so fast, you barely had time to react, or identify the culprit. you heard keys jingling and fear danced around in your eyes.
donghyuck was still facing the door, while you were standing with your back against the wall. he tried his best to look out the little glass rectangle fitted in the door, but he turned around and shook his head in frustration.
“what the fuck just happened,” you said; it came out more as a statement, but anger resonated through your words.
“we, er, just got locked in here.” he deadpanned as if you couldn’t have figured.
you groaned and clenched your fists. “i’m gonna kill them. you didn’t happen to see their face, did you?”
he shook his head, “nope.”
“well, we know one thing. that person had the key–and only two people have the key to the closet. the janitor, who’s not even here, and the general office staff. but i’m sure they wouldn’t lock us in here.” you said.
donghyuck tilted his head, “okay, then, who...” he trailed off, allowing you to vocalise your theories.
“somebody must have stolen one of the two keys.” your brain’s gears started turning, trying to think of someone who would pull something like this.
“it could be the janitor’s keys. the closet was unlocked when we got here.” donghyuck reminded you.
“yeah...but he never leaves the closet unlocked. he’s very responsible, so it can’t be his set of keys. it’s probably the staff’s set,” you countered. “they barely pay any attention to non-admin matters. that person must’ve stolen their keys, unlocked the door after the janitor left, and waited for us to come here, before locking us in. jesus, i’m so angry. this is so fucking childish,” you groaned again.
donghyuck nodded in slight agreement, surprising you. he never agrees on anything you have to say, but he didn’t have much of a choice in that situation. plus, your theory made sense. “do you think this whole thing was renjun’s idea? he was the one who suggested we check with the janitor about prom night.”
your eyes widened in shock. “oh my god...wait, but it wasn’t renjun’s idea. it was mine, actually–he just reminded me to do so.” you slowly dropped down to the floor and held your head in your hands. you couldn’t believe what was going on. the entire situation seemed to just hit you.
you’re stuck in a small closet with lee donghyuck, your number one enemy.
present time – thursday, 6:40 p.m.
“none of them are picking up. donghyuck, what if they’re all in on this together? kind of like a senior prank–except we’re the ones getting pranked.” you say, panic rising in your voice. you’re standing now, leaning against the wall with your phone clutched tightly in your hand.
knowing your and donghyuck’s friends, you’re sure you’re going to be here all night. they’re quite a bunch. you and donghyuck have a common friend group, but your friends find your ongoing rivalry extremely annoying. it makes perfect sense if they locked you two in here.
donghyuck digests your words quickly. “no way. that’s insane! why the fuck would they do that?”
“well, do you have a better explanation? i’m sure you don’t, considering i’m the only one who’s been thinking of possible theories, while you’re here giving me the only suggestion you have–your stupid bobby pin idea,” you say, breathing heavily.
“can you shut up for just two seconds? always telling me what to do, disagreeing with me, arguing and fighting with me. we’re locked in here, and you think arguing like little kids is gonna get us out?” he shakes his head in disbelief. “god, and to think i had a crush on you last year.” he must not have meant to reveal that little secret, because his ears turn red instantly.
you gape at him, “what–what did you say?”
“look at you, getting a big head again–!”
“donghyuck.”
“i liked you! there, you happy?”
“i like–liked you too, idiot,” you say in a low voice.
then, he laughs–a melodious sound, emitting pure joy and rainbows and sunshine. “some type of rivals we are.”
you laugh with him now, finding the situation so pathetically sad that it was almost funny. laughable. something to reminisce from time to time.
“you...you still like me?” donghyuck asks in a small voice you’ve never heard before.
“take a guess.”
“no?”
you bite the inside of your cheek, “take another guess.”
he grins at you, leaning against one of the shelves–which was a bad move on his part. he accidentally knocks over a bottle of...detergent? who knows, but it ends up uncapped and half-empty once it lands on the floor. luckily it was plastic, so the bottle doesn’t break. unluckily, the other of the liquid splashes on you, soaking your entire shirt. your plain, white, shirt.
donghyuck freezes, “um...y/n, i’m sorry–”
you hold up a hand. the god of testing people’s patience must’ve signed you up for some competitive exam today. “save it.”
donghyuck looks around hastily, trying to find a clean rag. he produces a small yellow cloth from the back of one of the shelves and hands it to you, “here.”
you don’t even say thanks. you quickly take it from him, free your shirt from your jeans, and start wiping and drying it to the best of your ability. you manage to make the shirt as dry as possible, but it was detergent that spilt on you. it was soapy–it was not water.
you groan for the third time today and look at donghyuck, gritting your teeth. “i can’t possibly go out like this.”
he winces, feeling extremely apologetic. “take off your shirt and wear my hoodie instead. i have two layers on,” he suggests.
you give him a double-take, “what the fuck? no! why would i do that?” you exclaim.
“do you have any better ideas?”
you watch as he swiftly takes his hoodie off, revealing a loose tee clad on his body. you hate to admit how good he looks. he hands the item of clothing to you, and you tell him to turn around as you begrudgingly peel your shirt away. you take the rag once again, wiping off as much soapy liquid as you can, and pull the hoodie over your head.
it smells like him, you think. it smells like that expensive cologne he always seems to wear. you show no indication that you find his hoodie soft and comforting, and tell him you’re done. you roll the shirt, squeezing any remnants of detergent out, and stuff it in your bag.
he bites back the smile daring to form on his lips upon seeing you in his hoodie. “okay. now that that’s over, let’s try to get out of here, shall we?”
you nod. “i have our science teacher’s number. maybe i could ask her to help us? she’s always here late, marking papers and assignments.”
donghyuck snaps his fingers, “you’re right! yeah, give her a call.”
you scroll through your contacts till you find the name you’re looking for. you press the call button and set it to speaker mode so donghyuck can hear as well. she picks up after three rings, “hello?”
“hi, miss angela! it’s me, y/n. you see, um, donghyuck and i got locked in the janitor’s closet by someone, and we have no way to get out. are you still in school? if you are, is it possible for you to unlock the door from the outside?”
miss angela hums a little, as if in thought, “i just left, my dear. i could turn the car around if you’d like. i’m sure the office keeps an extra set.”
“yes! that would be great. thank you, miss angela. and we’re sorry for the inconvenience,” you nudge donghyuck with your elbow, who catches on immediately.
“yeah, we’re incredibly sorry. i’ll be sure to submit an extra report–!”
“save it, lee donghyuck. i’ll be there in five to ten minutes,” she hangs up with that.
you pocket your phone and look at donghyuck. “so.”
“so,” he repeats.
“are we going to act like we didn’t just confess to one another earlier?” you ask, biting your lip nervously.
“no, i don’t want to, um, act like we didn’t. i lied, y/n. i had a crush on you last year, yeah, but i never stopped liking you. i still like you. i don’t want to be your enemy anymore.” he nudges you.
you smile shyly, “i like you too, donghyuck.”
just then, you hear keys jingling–an all too familiar sound. you get excited, thinking you’re going to be met with the face of miss angela, but when the door bursts open, you see the smirking faces of renjun and jeno.
“about fucking time!” renjun pulls you and donghyuck outside.
“what?” donghyuck demands. “it was your idea to lock us in there? are you fucking kidding me?”
jeno grimaces, “i’m sorry, it was the only way you two would confess your feelings for each other and stop fighting for good.”
“i can think of plenty of ways–!”
“wait, y/n, are you wearing donghyuck’s hoodie? holy fuck...don’t tell me you guys did it.” renjun looks back and forth between you and donghyuck.
“what? no, of course not!” you retort.
“then why do you have his hoodie on, dear y/n?” jeno asks.
“that’s none of your damn business, lee jeno!” donghyuck looks ready to pounce on him, but you place a hand on his chest, stopping him. his gaze drops down to your hand and it softens.
“there was a little accident...but the good thing is that we’re out. hooray. now, everybody, go home. i have to call miss an–”
“y/n, thank goodness! what happened?” miss angela emerges into the scene, looking a little worried.
you briefly explain the evening’s events to her, without mentioning the confession part. she doesn’t need to know that. you tell her it was a silly prank. nothing more, nothing less.
she visibly sighs a breath of relief. “well, at least it wasn’t some stranger. jeno, renjun, i didn’t expect this from you two. but i’m glad you’re all okay.” she takes her leave, after ensuring you four are on your way home.
jeno and renjun go home via jeno’s car, and you and donghyuck, living only a couple of blocks away from school, decide to walk the journey.
“all this... just so we could stop fighting,” donghyuck laughs. you’re walking side by side, hands occasionally brushing against one another. it’s like something out of a cheesy rom-com. you wouldn’t have it any other way.
“it worked, didn’t it?” you say.
donghyuck stops on the pavement, turning his body to face you. he stretches out a hand to push a strand of hair behind your ear, making you bump his shoulder shyly. he smiles; he wouldn’t have it any other way either.
“i guess it did. but what do we do now?”
“what do you mean?” you raise an eyebrow.
“like, do i walk you home first? do i ask you on a date? god, with you, it’s just so much more...different. if it was someone else, i would’ve gone with my gut, but with you, i don’t wanna mess it up. you know?” donghyuck finally takes your hand in his, intertwining your fingers. you feel his warmth radiate, you feel his touch bringing you safety and comfort. something way more powerful than a hoodie.
“donghyuck, i’m new at this too. i’m just as scared as you are. and that’s okay, trust me. i’m glad it’s me and not anyone else.” you assure him.
you gather up whatever courage you have remaining, tip-toe, and brush your lips against his cheek. you stay there for a moment, just breathing him in. when you pull away, his cheeks are a dusty pink shade.
“do that again,” he tells you.
“no, i think i’m good.” you start walking again.
“y/n!” he whines.
“okay, on one condition.” he raises a brow, “ask me on a date.”
for a moment, he’s bewildered. then, he gets down on one fucking knee, not caring about anyone who might be watching, and clears his throat. “y/n, i like you so much. will you make me the happiest man alive, and go on a date with me this saturday?” he looks up at you expectantly.
you chuckle at his antics and give him a nod. “i would love to, lee donghyuck.”
he grins, all big and bright, and leaps up to envelop you in a hug. his arms go around your waist and yours circle his neck. he whispers in your hair, “i guess we owe renjun and jeno a thank you?”
“i am not going to thank them for locking us up in a closet. in fact, i’m gonna double their prom duties.” you feel his chest vibrate as he laughs at your comment.
however, you are thankful that it was lee donghyuck you got stuck with. so, forget the time machine. you wouldn’t have had it any other way.
#haechan fluff#haechan x reader#haechan imagines#haechan drabbles#donghyuck fluff#donghyuck x reader#donghyuck imagines#donghyuck drabbles#nct haechan#nct donghyuck#lee haechan#lee donghyuck#mine#req
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I’m getting old and I need something to rely on
Ko-Fi Commission for @liesminelli! I’m so sorry this took so long.
Fandom: The Owl House
Rating: Teen
Relationships: Eda Clawthorne & Luz Noceda, Eda Clawthorne & Lilith Clawthorne
Summary: Eda misses her magic, and Lilith makes her feel worse. Luckily, she has a kid to remind her she’s not alone.
Title is from the song Somewhere Only We Know by Keane.
AO3 link here
FFN link here
Also, part of the argument scene was inspired by this post by @sterling-jay and the hug scene was inspired by a scene from Ponyo, where Lisa tackle-hugs Sosuke. Watch that scene if you want to see what I had in mind.
Losing her magic was the pits.
Eda knew that she wouldn't escape petrification completely fine, but it was still a bummer when she tries to cast a light spell, or any other spell, and nothing happened. It felt like there was a phantom ache, like something was ripped out of her.
And she remembers what Luz said.
“It's okay. I can teach you what I know, and what we don't know, we can learn together.”
Eda said she looks forward to it, but…she doesn't know if she's ready to accept that her magic might be gone for good. She doesn't want Luz to feel bad, either. The kid wants to help her. Still, her magic is not the same…
But you gotta let her.
Thanks to how long they were up and what they went through, nobody started waking up until 10:30-ish. When Eda walked into the kitchen that morning and saw Lilith there, her stomach churned. She'd almost forgotten that she let her stay.
Lilith had only started to make things better by using her pain-sharing spell and bringing her back to her cursed form. She couldn't just leave her out there after that. But…it was long overdue. They both knew that. Lilith may be her sister, and she may have removed half of the curse, but she is still the one who cursed her in the first place. She's still the one who said nothing for years, who thought the best solution was to have her arrested instead of facing her and talking to her. Hell, she even mocked her “weakened” state a few times before! And worst of all, she was still the one that had hurt Luz.
Of course, Eda warned her the night before about what she'd do if she ever harmed or disrespected Luz again. She hopes she'll take it to heart.
“Oh, good morning Edalyn.” Lilith greeted. Unlike yesterday, her hair was…a bit less neat. It was…somewhat refreshing.
Eda said nothing and only side-eyed her as she made her cup of apple blood. She doesn't have the energy to talk to Lilith right now.
Lilith shrugged and started searching the kitchen for something. “Ugh, I need some coffee. Honestly, Edalyn, how do you find anything in here?”
Eda rolled her eyes. “Look in the cabinet. And it's not that messy.”
“I see.”
While Lilith made her drink, Eda sipped hers, wondering when Luz would come down. She supposes that the girl is sleeping in. Understandable, given last night. Luz will wake up on her own time.
Or maybe I should go wake her up, Eda thinks, feeling worry build up.
Lilith sat across from her, staring into her mug. “So…it turns out that I still have some of my magic.” She began.
That made Eda look up. “Oh?”
“Of course, it's weakened, so I'm not as strong as before, but at least I still have it.” Lilith said with a small smile.
“And you're telling me this why?” Eda said, narrowing her eyes. A part of her was jealous, and angry. Why does Lilith get to keep her magic after everything?
“Because I can help you now! You may have lost your magic completely-”
“Don't remind me…”
“-but I still have mine! I can still help you! Isn't that wonderful?”
Eda stared at her sister. She talked about how she still has her powers as if it's some miracle. But to Eda, it feels unfair.
“What, you think I'm useless without magic?” Eda glared.
Lilith looked taken aback. “N-no, of course not! I just mean that I think you could use a lot more help now that you've lost your powers.”
“You think I'm weak? You say this like it'll comfort me somehow, but it's doing the exact opposite.” Eda said. The last thing she needed was somebody making her feel inferior.
“I thought that at the very least you'd be happy.” Lilith said sternly.
Eda stood up. “Happy? You think I'd be happy that you still have your natural magic after everything you did?” She sneered.
Lilith stood up as well. “I share the curse with you now! I thought you'd appreciate that I'm making an effort now!”
“Well, I do appreciate it. But what else do you have to answer for? Oh right. Not saying anything about the truth for thirty fucking years, trying to have me arrested as a solution…” Eda listed, clenching her fists.
“Edalyn! You know I was only trying to help!”
“And there's also how you thought our tyrant of an emperor could cure me! You call that helping?”
“You wouldn't understand! You're being very unreasonable! Don’t forget I saved you!” Lilith tried.
“No, Luz did, which is another thing, you tried to kill her to bring me down!” Eda yelled. The image of her own sister tossing Luz over the bridge would never leave her head.
“Edalyn! I'm not the only one who played a part in your suffering, you know!” Lilith argued, slamming her hands on the table.
“Oh really? Your part in my suffering? Who else was involved, sister? Do tell me.”
“I admit, Emperor Belos is a deceptive liar, and I was a fool to believe him. And the petrification may have played a part in taking away your powers. And the hu-”
Eda pointed an accusing finger at her sister, glaring daggers. “Apupup! Stop right there! Don't you dare finish. Luz has nothing to do with this.”
“But if she hadn't-”
“Hadn't what? Luz was only trying to help me.” She growled. “And she definitely helped me more than you did. You don't get to blame her for your mistakes. Not on my watch.” Eda took a deep breath to calm herself. She hoped their argument hadn't woken up Luz. However, at that moment, she noticed the girl coming down the stairs, only to stop mid-step, watching the sisters, looking unsure if she should intervene or not.
Shit, we probably woke her up. I hope she didn’t hear anything she shouldn’t have...
“Why can't you just trust me? I thought that we had a chance at making things better!” Lilith said angrily.
“Why should I?” Eda said lowly, crossing her arms.
Then, at that moment, the conversation was interrupted by Luz grabbing King, trying to keep him from running into the kitchen.
“No, don’t!” she muttered. Eda and Lilith turned to see her looking up sheepishly and slowly making her way back up the stairs. Unfortunately, King had escaped her arms and began shuffling around the kitchen for food. Lilith’s shoulders slumped.
Eda pinched the bridge of her nose and turned back to her sister. “Lily, listen to me when I say you can’t just split the curse with me and expect everything to be instantly better again. You have a long ways to go before you can expect me to forgive you. Think about that.” Then she turned around towards the stairs. “I need to be alone.”
~
As soon as Luz saw Eda pass in the hallway, she got up and made her way towards her mentor’s room. She knows Eda might want some privacy, but after hearing the fight downstairs, she couldn’t just...leave her alone.
And Luz definitely knows Eda would do the same for her.
When she reached the door, she raised her fist to knock. “Eda?” she said. “It’s me, can I...can I come in?”
After 10 seconds, Luz pushed the door open and let herself in. Her mentor was splayed out face-down in her nest, one arm hanging over the edge. She’s hurting, I know it, Luz tells herself. She walks closer.
Eda senses the girl’s presence, but says nothing. Normally, she’d tell her to go away, but she didn’t have the energy to do so. She found the kid’s company comforting anyway.
Luz stood in front of the nest, looking down at the witch. “I...heard you and Lilith. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, I promise!” Eda said nothing. “I understand how you feel. You’re not the only one who lost something, you know?” Luz continues, hoping Eda was listening. “You lost your magic, and...I lost my only way home.” Luz lifted a hand to stroke Eda’s hair, feeling her throat start to tighten at the reminder of her loss. “We’re in this together, okay? I-I’m gonna help you, promise. I owe it to you.”
Eda looked up, seeing Luz looking out the window. Her heart warmed at how unbelievably understanding the girl was. Once again, she was reminded of how much she had changed since Luz had come into her life. Her beloved, sweet, caring kid was like a light in the darkness. In a sudden burst of affection, she reached out.
Suddenly Luz was yanked into a tight hug. “Ah-!” she grunted, startled by the sudden mood change. Eda had flipped herself over, squeezing her girl affectionately and holding her close.
They were in an awkward position, but Eda didn’t care. Titan, she loved this kid so much! “You’re so good!” she said. Then she sat up, still holding Luz. She pulled away slightly, looking down at her. “Don’t you worry, kiddo, you don’t owe me a thing. I know that as long as we’re together, everything’s gonna be okay.” She moved a hand up to ruffle the girl’s hair, then moved it to cup her cheek. “I love you so much.”
Luz smiled, leaning her head against the witch’s chest. “Okay.” Her heart warms at how much Eda cares. So she laid there, letting Eda hold her.
The pair sat there for a moment, Eda cradling her kid close and resting her cheek on the top of her head. It wasn’t often they got a moment like this, and she wanted to cherish it. There’s no way she deserved somebody this wonderful.
It was Luz who broke the silence first. “I know you miss your powers, but, will you let me know when you’re ready to try glyphs?”
Eda loosened her grip a little bit so Luz could move to sit in her lap more comfortably. “I think I can try them out for you.” She said. Luz was right. Glyphs may not be the same as her old magic, but they’re still magic. If Luz can figure it out with that big brain of hers, then why not her?
Luz smiled, satisfied with that answer. She wrapped Eda in another hug.
Another minute massed and Eda pulled back. “You know what? How about we go see what we can scrounge up for breakfast? I’m starving, and I’m sure you are too.”
Luz nodded. “Heck yes I am! But, it’s almost noon, so, don’t you mean brunch?”
Eda rolled her eyes. “Eh, what the hell, I was close.” she playfully flicked Luz’s forehead, earning a giggle from her. “And after that, you can try to teach me, got it? Let’s see what you can do with that big brain of yours.” she said, ruffling Luz’s hair affectionately.
“Eda, you’re the best!”
#the owl house#my writing#commission#ko-fi request#fanfiction#the owl house fanfiction#toh#owl house#liesminelli#eda clawthorne#edalyn clawthorne#eda the owl lady#eda the owl mom#luz noceda#lilith clawthorne#Clawthorne sisters#fic#my fics#mom Eda#mother eda#mama eda#sterling-jay
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She Knows
Tony Stark x Daughter!Reader
Wanda Maximoff x Stark!Reader
Word count: 2550
Requested by @kye06
A/N: The premise of this story is flipping who survived Infinity War and who didn’t
Warning: Major Character Death. Angst.
You’re fighting as hard as you possibly can. You’ve been training for as long as you can remember, but nothing could’ve ever prepared you for this. You look off to your right and see Wanda trying her hardest to destroy Vision’s stone and your heart aches for her. You know how gentle of a person she tries to be and she considers Vision a close friend. This has to be killing her.
You turn to the alien...thing you’re fighting and put all your focus into that. The next time you look up you see Thor with Stormbreaker in Thanos’s chest. You let out a sigh of relief, thinking you’ve won but then you hear the purple bastard mumble something about going for the head. Your eyes go wide as he snaps his fingers and he disappears. You fall to your knees. It can’t be over, can it?
You see Steve coming through the tree line, holding his side and asking where Thanos went. You hear bucky coming up behind you and you look at him for one second. By the time you look back, Steve is disintegrating in front of your eyes. You look to Thor who quickly follows Steve’s fate. You can hear people calling each other and you know it’s a sound that will haunt your dreams for years to come. All you can do is stare in shock, this is really it.
“What is this? What’s happening?” a voice behind you says, Sam maybe.
“We lost,” you say, you’re barely able to bring your voice above a whisper, “we lost.”
xxxxx
“What do we do?” Wanda asks, only to be met by silence. No matter how many times you try to have this conversation, it never gets easier.
“What about the team on Titan? Do we know if anyone over there is still…” you trail off. You can’t bring yourself to say the words. No matter how rocky of a relationship you had with your father, you never thought you’d be in this situation. You never dreamed life could get this bad.
“What is that?” you look up at Bucky, who’s staring out the window. You follow his gaze and immediately take off for the lawn, the others close behind you. The ship has definitely seen better days, but it settles and Peter is the first one off. He looks dazed and you run up to him, grabbing him before he can fall. The poor kid is too young to be dealing with this.
“I couldn’t-I couldn’t stop him,” he mumbles, staring at the ground and you feel your heart breaking a little more.
“None of us could, Peter” you try to reassure him, and he meets your eyes.
“I lost him. I lost Mr. Stark,” he says and your world stops. You do everything you can to stay strong, but it's too much. You feel a familiar set of hands on your back and you turn around, collapsing into Wanda’s arms as she holds your weight.
xxxxx
“It’s a mess here. It’s been 23 days since Thanos came, and it looks like he did exactly what he said he was gonna do. Thanos wiped out fifty percent of all living creatures.” You explain to what’s left of your team, looking at the board in front of you. Faces are flashing through the hologram and you catch sight of your Father’s picture.
“Where is he now?” Sam asks and you sigh.
“We don’t know. But I’m gonna find him,” you start typing and you feel Wanda put a hand on your shoulder.
“Maybe we should-”
“No!” you cut her off, “I’ve been sitting on my ass for weeks. I’ve done all the good I can here. I’m gonna find that bastard and we’re gonna fix this!”
“Okay, okay. Let me help,” she says, sitting next to you and the two of you start running scans. Within minutes you find a radioactive signature similar to the one from Wakanda.
“There. We got him.”
“Let’s go get this son of a bitch,” You hear Bucky say and you nod.
xxxxx
You’re sitting on the ship, looking down at the alien planet below and you sigh before you hear Wanda’s voice.
“This is gonna work, y/n,” she says and you nod.
“I know it is. Cause I don’t know what I’m gonna do if it doesn’t.”
When you land Wanda and Peter go in first, holding him back and you quickly use the blaster on your suit to remove the gauntlet from his arm. Bucky flips it over and everyone freezes.
“What did you do with them?”
Thanos goes on a rant about how they’re useless now, but you can only focus on one thing. The stones are gone. There’s nothing left. It’s over. You’re not sure who takes the shot, Wanda maybe. Maybe it was you, but before you know it, Thanos is gone, and there’s nothing left to do but to go home and find a way to live with it.
xxxxx
After everything, you left the compound. There were too many memories there. Too many reminders of what you lost. It was all too painful. So you moved up to a nice cabin by the lake, you finally bought Wanda the ring you should’ve given her years ago, and you lived your life as best you could. You adopted a baby girl, after the snap there were so many kids who needed families. You named her Natasha. It was a joke at first, you remembered how much she teased Clint about naming a kid after her, but then all the sudden it wasn’t a joke. It was a good way to remember your best friend, and in an odd way, it helped you heal. So now it was the three of you, and your new sense of normalcy.
“Tasha? Come on, it’s lunchtime!” you call, walking out to the tent Wanda had set up a few years back. The kid loved it and you always knew where to find her. “Natasha Stark, come out come out wherever you are!” you tease and she comes crawling out, a toy blaster and miniature helmet on her head. “There you are, Mama made lunch, you ready to come inside?” you gently pull the helmet off of her head, revealing her beautiful smile and your heart melts at the sight.
“I’m ready,” she smiles and you lift her up, heading towards the house,
“Well then we better get going,” you hear a car pull up to your right and you sigh, seeing Peter and Bucky get out followed by a woman, Hope, or something like that. You nod at them, walking over to the front door, “Tasha, go inside with Mama, okay?” you hear Bucky take a sharp inhale at the name, and you understand. You felt the same way at first.
“Y/n, what’s happening?” Wanda asks and you shake your head.
“I don’t know,” you say and she nods.
“I got her, you take care of it.”
xxxxx
“So you’re telling me time travel is your solution?” you ask, “you’ve really exhausted all your resources down at the compound, huh? If you go down there, you don’t come back.”
“I did,” Hope cuts you off and you sigh.
“It was a fluke, the most likely outcome is our collective demise,” you argue and Bucky pipes up.
“The stones are in the past. We go back there and we get them.” Bucky says, as if it’s that simple, “after everything that we’ve been through does it really seem that unlikely?”
“Once we have the stones we snap our own finger, bring everybody back,” Peter says.
“Or we screw it up more than he already did!”
“Y/n, we have to take a stand,” Peter says, and you can hear the tears in his voice.
“We did stand. And yet, here we are.” You say, and Hope glares.
“I understand you’ve got a lot to lose. You’ve got a wife, a daughter, but I lost somebody very important to me, and now we’ve got a chance to bring them back, and you’re telling me that you won’t even-”
“That’s right. I won’t even. I lost someone important too. But I can’t.” you hear the screen door open and your daughter climbs into your lap.
“Mama told me to come and save you,” she says and you hold her close.
“Good job, I’m saved,” you say before looking to the people standing in front of you, “I wish you would’ve come to ask me anything else.”
“y/n, I understand. I’m happy for you, but this is a second chance,” Peter says and you shake your head.
“I’ve got my second chance right here, kid.” you say, gesturing to your daughter in your arms, “I can’t roll the dice on that.”
xxxxx
You’re standing in front of your work table staring at the hologram. “Let’s see what we can do,” you mess with one last particle when you see the words ‘model successful’ floating in front of your face. Your eyes go wide and you fall back into your chair “Shit.”
“Shit,” a small voice behind you says and you spin around.
“What are you doing up, little miss?”
“Shit,” Tasha says again and you shake your head.
“No. We don’t say that word.”
“What are you doing up?” she asks and you smile.
“I got some important shit going on!” you can’t help but laugh at her adorable scrunched up face. “No, I’m working on something, I got something on my mind.”
“Was it juice pops?” she asks and you chuckle.
“Yep. It was, you want some juice pops? Come on, that’s exactly what I was thinking...” you trail off as she drags you towards the kitchen.
xxxxx
Somehow it works. You never would’ve bet on it in a million year, but it worked and you were staring at the birds through the window when suddenly everything went to shit all over again. When you manage to pull yourself out of the rubble and onto the battlefield you prepare yourself. You gave the world 5 minutes of hope, and now it was all happening again. You look to your right and see a portal opening. “Dad?” you say softly, but he manages to hear you. His head snaps towards yours, you smile at him. He hasn’t aged a day. Before you can do anything else Steve is speaking on your left.
“Avengers. Assemble.” you smirk and then everyone is off. Fighting twice as hard as they did last time because now, you refuse to lose.
The battle feels like it is lasting forever, and off next you, you see the gauntlet hit the floor. Thanos is running for it and you tackle him as best you can. Thor comes next to you fighting him off with Steve and Carol behind him. You make eye contact with Strange, who holds up one finger before you look over at your dad. You know what you have to do.
You wrestle with Thanos, pulling at the gauntlet before he pushes you aside.
“I am inevitable.” he says and you hear the metallic clank of him snapping his fingers. You hold your hand up as the stones slide into place. Your whole arm feels like it’s on fire and it takes everything in you not to scream in agony.
“And I. Am. A Stark.” you grit out, snapping your fingers and watching as Thanos’s army turns to dust. You rest yourself against the nearts mound of metal and stare out into the battlefield as everything becomes eerily quiet.
“Y/n? Y/n we won,” Peter comes into view, tears streaming down his face and you nod as best you can, “we won, y/n.”
You see Wanda pull him off of you and crouch next to you, you can vaguely see your dad standing behind her, and maybe Pepper. Everythings too blurry, you can’t really tell what’s happening anymore.
“Friday,” your dad says crouching in front of you, and you can hear your AI’s voice reporting your life functions. You don’t know what she said, but you can tell by his face it wasn’t good. You force out a smile as best you can, but everything hurts. “Y/n, hey. Look at me. We’re gonna be okay.”
You take in your dad’s words before looking to Wanda. You open your mouth but no sound comes out, but she knows what you were trying to say.
“I got her, I’ll look after Tasha. We both love you y/n, so much” you hear her voice crack. You want so badly to say it back. She needs to know how much you love her. You’re screaming it, but no sound will come out. You want to apologize and tell her everything will be okay, but all you can do is look into her eyes as everything fades away.
xxxxx
“Everybody wants a happy ending. But it doesn’t always roll that way. I’m hoping if you play this back, it’s in celebration. I hope families are reunited and some sort of normalcy is brought back to the world. God, what a world. For better or worse, this is the reality Tasha’s gonna have to find a way to grow up in, and I wish I could’ve been there to see it. That’s right, Romanoff, you can finally stop complaining about Clint not naming a kid after you, and I think I won the title of better friend, here.” The group settled in your living room chuckles at your hologram, Wanda pulling your daughter closer as Natasha puts a hand on her shoulder. Your dad is sitting next to them, still in shock after all this time.
“I thought I better record something in case tomorrow doesn’t work out. This whole time travel thing has got me scratching my head. I wish dad were here to help, I know he’d be able to figure it out. I just hope it works, and maybe he’ll be back. Maybe he’s back now watching this, I sure hope so. I always wanted him to meet my little girl,” you holographic self smiles, shaking its head slightly. “What am I even tripping about, everythings gonna be fine. I love you all,” you say, turning off the camera.
The room is silent as everyone stares at where you once were, the knowledge that they’ll never see you again slowly settling in.
“It should’ve been me,” your dad's voice is barely audible. “If I could’ve gotten there faster-”
“Don’t.” Wanda cuts him off, her voice thick with tears as she tries to hold it together, “she knew what she was getting herself into. If it had been you I’d be sitting here having this conversation with her. She knew what we were doing out there. She knew the risks.”
“I wish I could’ve been a better father. I should’ve done more,” Tony says, and Pepper puts a hand on his shoulder.
“She loved you. All she ever wanted to do was make you proud,” Wanda tells him.
“I just wish I could tell her I loved her, one last time. Tell her I was proud of her. I always have been…” he trails off.
“She knows” Wanda says softly, smiling despite her tears.
Tag list: @rvgrsbrns
#tony stark x reader#tony stark x daughter!reader#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff#iron man x reader#iron man x daugter#wanda maximoff x stark!reader#Marvel#Avengers#major character death
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|Got Me Loosin All My Cool| M|
Pairings: Jungkook X Reader | Jimin X Reader( Smut) FT- Side Tae & Yoongi
Note: Kook is in 80% of this but he’s “new” to the dynamic...so the smut is with Jimin and the OC...not Kookie!
About- Jimin and yourself take Jungkook shopping for a new suit to wear to the “Spectrum” launch party! OH, and Jimin fucks you in the backseat of your truck in the parking garage of the mall…..
OR: You know Kookie still in that “Broke college grad” phase only being with the company barley a month, and you don’t want him to feel self-conscious at the event! You’ve also been too busy to really check in with him to see how he’s adjusting! So, you thought something like this, in a more laxed atmosphere, would be a good solution! Oh and Jimin, honestly he’s just nosey as fuck and inched himself along, like nobody really invited him he invited his damn self! Also Jungook can’t underatand why the fuck your all so damn attractive...like...why!?
Jungkook’s a sweetheart and lowkey confused and whipped for everybody
Tae’s kinda being a spoiled asshole
Yoongi’s over it!
Jimin’s being a brat, he’s not use to having to “Behave” around others, espeically while your wearing “that” dress.....
-Song Reference- COOL- Dua lipa
WC: 6K
WARNINGS: Semi-public sex/Top OC/Power bottom Jimin/ Spit play/ Cum play/ Fingering (F receiving) Cockrings/Lube (yes ppl actually use that IRL )Dirty talk/ biting, finger sucking
FINAL NOTE: This little excerpt is the prequel to the next full-length one-shot “All Eyes On Me” which is Hoseoks official ‘Intro” if you will. The full Summary for that can be found in the Masterlist which is linked below! Also if you’re new here..this is a stand-alone one-shot within my OT7Poly AU called “7 Deep” Short version: Your husband Namjoon and yourself run a successful Adult Film Entertainment Company called “Onyx” with your 5 best friends from college who you also happen to be in an open relationship with!
(Sneak peek)
~~~~~~
ONXY ENTERTAINEMENT 10:45 AM
Jungkook’s happy I guess almost surprisingly so, I mean yeah Yoongi and yourself seemed cool in the interview, and when he did is work interview the vibe was chill. But let’s get real, we all know shit always seems better than it actually is in the interviews!
For one he honestly wasn’t expecting to be given such free reign already which is also why he’s happy as hell he didn’t listen to his roommate’s Mark and Ten and lie on his resume. Granted, everything still had to go through Yoongi first but he wasn’t just... I don’t know editing thumbnails like he thought he was actually doing real work. He’s been here barely a month and he already has reels he can add to his portfolio! Learning new tips and tricks, believe it or not, even through his internships he’s learned that some people are stingy when it comes to sharing knowledge. Yoongi however was far from that, thankfully he was well aware that just because you teach someone your “secrets” doesn’t mean you’re essentially replacing yourself! What makes you good at your job isn’t just how it’s done its how you do it!
If only Kookie could stop internally fangirling over Yoongi his life would be a little easier! He’d seen hundreds of your companies films before and being the production major he is..of course, he’d watch it the first time to jack off..then the second time he’d find himself just as if not even more turned on for the production quality. That’s something Onyx is always praised for..”Aesthetically pleasing porn”. Every morning, Yoongi would sit him down and show him something new and for the first time he finally understands what people mean when they say that someones mind is..attractive! Not Yoongi himself though, because that’s his boss and that would be weird but like his brain, ya know? Yoongi’s brian is sexy in a broboss way...I don’t know just go with it!
Anyway, Kook’s current project was actually one of his favorites so far because it was forcing him to actually challenge himself! This was something actually requested by Hoseok, who he learned was 26, the head of marketing, always bouncing around like he’s had 6 expresso shots and somehow manages to make streetwear look professional…. But anyway the task is creating trailers for films that are pc enough to not be blocked on platforms like IG but spicy enough to get ppl to wanna watch the full thing. Making a climax without the actual climax if you know what I mean. So he’d have to sit there and watch the films, try not to get hard and wanna jack off while watching said films...then take notes and screencaps of the best moments and compile them together without showing “too much”. He’s never been so thankful that he could wear sweatpants to work….because…..yeah it was hard..literally and figuratively hard...but like I said he’s happy and can pay his bills so that’s cool too!
Don’t get me wrong he still feels a little out of place at times and surprisingly enough not for the reason he expected! Two months shy of his 21st bday he assumed he’d feel a type of way because he’s the youngest but that’s not the case! Hell, they went to Nobu for lunch last week and Jin actually slid him his drunk so he wasn’t the only one not drinking! Flashing him a cheeky little wink and whispering “Don’t tell mom” in reference to you once Kook looked back at him like a deer in headlights! It seems as though they care more about his talent than his age which is the way it should be because he knows he’s good at what he dose!
However, Onyx is kinda like those offices you see on TV, the kind he never thought where real, behind closed doors the environment is far from pc! It’s not a normal morning unless somebodies cursing out there computers! This morning he swore Taehyung told Jimin he had a shrimp dick…… There’s “that’s what she said” jokes being thrown out left and right, people cracking jokes on one another. And it’s not that he feels uncomfortable by any means again he’s a 20 y/o kid from LA it’s just ...he’s new...ya know? So he doesn’t know if he’s “allowed” to do that! So in the meantime, he just spends his days laughing until his chest hurts!
But besides that everybody’s chill , he’s still trying to learn people, regardless of how laxed the office is everybody’s busy as all hell especially Namjoon and yourself! The two of you are actually his biggest mystery, he’s never thought of marriage being something that he’d want. He’s always heard that people change, and shit gets boring, but even in a work environment that’s far from the vibe he gets from the two of you! You actually make marriage seem exciting, worth it, like a gift, not a task…..
Something else that he can’t truly wrap his head around is that your his boss, like legitimately his boss! Somebody that looks like you,I mean fuck your not even 30, you sway around the office in your little dresses and designer heels! Always dolled up hell sometimes he questions if he’s the one in some upscale porno! Actually, not just you all of you why the fuck are all of you so effortlessly attractive and put together?! To make it even worse you all know your shit too! Two days ago for example Kook went to Yoongi to ask if there was a certain way he wanted the ending credits to come into frame, and instead of Yoongi responding you did! Using terminology that had him ready to run home and pull out his “Intro to production” text box! Shit don’t make any Goodman sense...even Yoongi sitting in his office looking like he could be in one of the films he’s editing and no, god no why is he thinking this about his higher-ups?! No, no, nope try again Jeon!
However, now that we’re on this topic, there is one person that he can’t quite wrap his head around...I mean yeah he’s nice but he just seems more reserved around Jungkook than everyone else. Which is odd considering he’s the one Kook meet first, he’s actually the one that encouraged him to even submit his resume, to begin with! What makes it even odder is Yoongi and yourself actually told him that Tae was the most outgoing...it’s not that Jungkook nessercally thinks Tae dislikes him it’s just ...I don’t know, I don’t know…I guess he was just...warmer when the two of them met at Starbucks then he is now that they actually work together!
...And I guess that’s why he almost shit himself when his phone rang and the incoming name rang though as….”Taehyung Kim”...he kinda hoped he pocket dialed him and would just hand up! But wait, I guess you can’t really do that from a landline can you?? Fuckkkkkk
“I know technologies come a long way Kook, but phones don’t answer themselves ya know…” Eyes fluttering over to see Yoongi smirking at him, tone blatantly amused as he flipped through a file he had in his hands.It’s like he could sense how nervous he is too “Don’t worry about Tae, he’s more bark than he is bite, he’s literally a puppy dressed in Gucci…” Flicking his chin in the direction of the phone with a reassuring smile.
With a timid nod and shaky fingers Jungkook picks up the call on the final ring “H-hello??”
“Jungkook? Can you come to my office in the next 5 or so minutes?” His tone wasn’t rude by any means but it also wasn’t the most inviting. Eyes fluttering overly timidly in Yoongis direction because he knew Tae was loud enough that the elder could hear and he smiled fondly, nodding in approval. Arms crossed firm against his chest, head cocked to the side, eyes squinting slightly from under his black baseball cap, as if he was now purposely trying to hear the conversation.
“Umm, yeah, yeah of course…” God, why does he sound like he’s still going through puberty right now!? Voice fluttering ina and out of an octave!
“Great!”
Tae just hangs up, no goodbye ...promoting Yoongi to roll his eyes, with an exasperated sigh...Jungkook just sits there for a moment, not too sure what to do!
“You’re free to go, Seok dosen’t need these until Friday and your deifiently far enough along, a little time away from your desk wont hurt! Oh, just save your stuff first though! The systems moving slow as fuck and I’m about ready to break my damn computer so I’ll probably do a system reboot while you’re gone!”
Jungkook nods timidly, swallowing so hard he’s sure Yoongi heard it, fingers scattering to do as Yoongis instructed, he literally feels like he’s going to throw up! Why does Tae make him so nervous? I mean no offense but Tae isn’t even his boss why is he more freaked out of Taehyung than is actual boss!
He hears a heavy sigh fall from behind him, as Yoongi invites himself to take a seat, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder ‘First off, you’re doing fucking great, and I mean that, so step back...and breath...” Squeezing his shoulder slightly, tone calm yet stable enough to ground the younger!
“Second, I’m ordering lunch from that coney up the street, Hyungs treat” He watches Jungkook go to open his mouth in protest and Yoongi just groans, loud and obnoxious, eyes fluttering to the back of his head more times than he can count!
“Don’t even try and give me that “Your not hungry bullshit” Eyes narrowing in the youngers direction challangingly “So let’s try this again, what do you want? And yes Tae can wait I already texted him and told him so you’re fine! Now go to google and pull up Leo’s menu and lets order lu-”
“Yonngggggiiiii!!!’ Whines through the studio, which only promps the man in question to slowly sink into his chair as if he was trying to make himself dissapear! And before Jungkook can even make heads or tails as to what’s happening...a pair of skin-tight leather pants, a florial silk shirt, that was sitting so low it mideswell not even be buttoned, flashy shades and windswept pastel pink hair comes strutting in... Looking like something straight out of Vouge so again he asks why the fuck does everybody look like this!?
Not even botherng to ask if he’s interupted anything, just flinging his arms around the production manager’s neck, propping his chin on top of his head,
“I need like...20 headshots edited...in the next half hour” Jungkook watched Yoongi go completely ridgit a scowl on his face as he tried to pull away but the casting manager only held on tigher “...and before you kill me even though I drunk some of it this Amerciano is for you soooo, I feel like I’ve made it worth or while, please and thank you! ” Smiling so big his eyes dispered into his face it took everything in him not to coo and swoon all at the same damn time!
Jimin fucking Park......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Heyyyyyyyy,
That’s all she wrote for now, don’t know the post date yet, I’ve written up wo when they actually go to the mall so it’s like halfway done.....
MASTERLIST FOR THIS AU IS DOWN BELOW, I’M GLAD PEOPLE ARE ENYOING THIS “UNIVERSE”!
7 DEEP
#jungkook#jungkook x reader#jungkook au#jimin#jimin smut#jimin x reader#jeon jungkook#park jimin#jimin au#bts#bts au#bts smut#yoongi#yoongi au#bts poly#bts poly au#kpop#kpop smut kpop au
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So I read your reply to Nyarisu's comment on Lionheart and I'm really intrigued by your comments about how people understand punk compared to what it was initially. Could I possibly ask you to expand on this? Pretty please?
Yes you could! This is a very (very?) personal point of view and I know a lot of people will disagree, but here goes nothing, I guess. If you disagree with me (and somebody will), that’s fine, but I will not engage with anything that’s not a constructively put argument. I’ve spend too much time thinking about this for a “I don’t like what you’re saying and that’s why you’re wrong” anon to change my mind. Just putting that out there - with love 💜.
The thing is, especially on tumblr but I think just in generally aswell, the idea of punk is presented as this ... Robin Hood kind of thing. Beat the system, stand up to bullies, live your own truth, all of that, but it always is presented as something that is supposed to come from a ... dare I say, nice place? Like those pictures of people in studded and sprayed leather jackets rescuing puppies. All of that, you know? And I don’t want to say that is wrong, because it isn’t, and I love the idea of that, it’s just not the entire truth.
Especially in the early to mid 70s, when arguably punk started, there was a lot of fatigue between an old and stuffy establishment and the lovey, dovey peace and love “let’s all be happy” movement of the hippie scene. I was at Force Attack in 2006, which is a punk festival (and possibly dirtiest place in the world) that got established in the early 90s and went on til 2008 (?), and even then some of the “death to hippies” sentiments ran pretty deep. And I know the counter argument to that will be a well meaning “well, that’s not real punk,” the problem is that I think it actually partly is. (Please keep the partly in mind for the rest of this argument.)
The problem with having the exact choice between “get a good job, built a nice house, think of what the neighbours will say, and don’t ask me about what I did in the war” and “we’re all a big part of one human family, and isn’t nature beautiful, lets all make peace, and btw we would have never done what our parents did” is that both models aren’t a sustainable life style for everyone. That’s why you get alot of people saying this is all fake bullshit, and they start being purposely offensive. This is why you get alot of Swastikas around the sex pistols, you get all these artists singing about suicide and incest and rape. It’s not that uncommon for some of those early acts to play with Nazi imagery, or claim that homosexuality is disgusting (despite the scene always being full of LGBTQ+ people), or idk, thinking it’s fun to piss on someone while they’re asleep. It’s alot of outcry, of saying life actually is this shitty and disgusting and I am gonna be that because in a way you will hate me either way. And it’s not always nice. Disdain and hate and petty selfishness are common human emotions and many of them are low and unhealthy, and honestly not nice or helpful or inclusive, but they are there, and I think alot of that early spirit was just about stopping to pretend that they don’t exist.
I think a reason for why we don’t think of the scene that way anymore is that many people very quickly outgrew that, and said “actually, we’re better than that, that’s not who we actually are. I sadly can’t find that interview right now, but Die Ärzte are actually a good exemple of that and they even admit it themselves, that there was a sense of “enough with the happy hippie bullshit, let’s disgust them” and then later going “uhmm - maybe that went a bit far.” I mean offensive or not, but ultimately a scene that is centered around artistic expression always ends with that question of creation, maybe like “if the world isn’t like what we want it to be, how do we make one we like?” - and then you end up with having to come up with answers that are more than just destruction. And then it turns into something else - something that I think is alot more like what tumblr seems to think punk is. And that’s a wonderful thing. Still - a side of punk, whatever that is, has always been what people like GG Allin (please read the wiki for context) have taken and pushed to the limits, and it just - isn’t nice. And here is where things get a bit tricky.
Because against that backdrop, things like John Lydon (Johnny Rotten) suddenly being a dirty old Trump supporter aren’t that surprising anymore. And then you get these 20 year olds “cancelling” the Sex Pistols, and I think there is just a bit of ... missing the point going on. I’ve read a comment on here recently, that basically said something like Richard should stop supporting the Sex Pistols (because he has that album in the back of the studio), and it’s just ... asking for a history to be erased that has rightfully been made obsolete but has still happened and was necessary at the time. You can take any of these early bands and pick their lyrics apart and find something that from our perspective now is disgusting, mean, exclusive, or outright racist. Songs about Fucking? Part of that record is a mysogynisy shitshow, something they were very aware of even at the time, and they still did it anyway because being disgusting was part of the point. The thing is though, the Sex Pistols were hugely influential, and alot of the positive things that grew out of that wouldn’t have been possible if kids like young Richard, or any of the bands you love that were influenced by them, wouldn’t have gotten that moment of “finally a place where I can put all of my petty hate”. It matters, and just because that moment is overcome, it doesn’t mean it should be forgotten, or stops existing in the people that lived through it.
I understand that the question of how much we should justify things with “it was the time” and how we deal with the result is an ever ongoing debate and their are many good arguments for why maybe we shouldn’t try to defend the wrongs of the past that way, and I want to point out that while I rarely agree on that in the first place (because I understand history as a natural learning curve where people aren’t perfect at the first try and it’s doing a disservice to humans just doing their best, but I digress and that’s a bit of another duscussion), I want to point out that I don’t want to defend anyone, rather I want to say “actually, being that horrible was often calculated, part of the point, and if you don’t like it, just leave it, fight it or debate it, but don’t pretend like it was a “missstep” or just a few black sheep of a scene that was never as nice or perfect as you want it to be.” You don’t get to erase half of a movement simply because you wish it wouldn’t exist the way it does - or well. I guess in this case mostly did - past tense.
The ugliness is part of the story to me, and it’s actually the bigger part of why I love this scene. I don’t need “punk” to define my politics, I need it to soothe my soul, and so did many, I think. The Sex Pistols breaking happened 20 years before my time, but I still feel connected to that world, and in particular the ugly parts of it. I often feel like I look at the world, and there are people that seem honestly shocked by the idea that maybe sometimes I find doing the right thing really hard, that I want petty, self serving revenge, that I don’t find it easy to not be selfish and unkind or sometimes want to hurt people because I am hurting myself and see an opportunity to do that. Obviously those aren’t nice things and I don’t want to be that way, but are you honestly telling me you don’t feel that? I find that hard to believe, and it leaves me with an ongoing question of if I am just worse than most people or if most people are just more fake. Both scenarios are equally shit. The ugly side of punk provides - not an answer to that - but maybe a partial solution, at least for me.
Another discussion we have all the time is about how what we consume or allow in artistic expression is influencing how we act as people in real life and how we want the world to be. Where do we draw the line? What is still ok? If I put me entertaining ideas about murder on a canvas, is that still good? what if it’s racism? What if it’s rape? We argue alot about how providing a safe space in art for those feelings is actually preventing us from acting on it in real life, how it’s an outlet of something we would never actually want or do, but then where is the limit to that? I am putting this intentionally controversial, but if we admit that most of us grow up with internalized racism and mysogyny, by that logic, why can’t I paint something that is blatantly hateful if I have those feelings? Maybe that is my way of fighting it, you don’t have to look at it? Not saying that’s what I am doing or would want to do, but what if? For some people Rammstein singing about not wanting to be Angels is crossing that line, for some of us that line is drawn alot later. Who is right? Isn’t that just personal sensitivity? Can you honestly rationalise that? Isn’t it just processing our different levels of petty hate in different ways? I don’t have the answers to any of that, it’s just questions I often have and that I think have to do with this, because alot of the nasty bits in punk will justify it exactly that way, as artistic expression. Alot of it isn’t as political as this scene is made out to be, it’s simply asking those things. I personally relate to that alot, as someone who arguably would draw the line of “we should stop doing this” in art very, very, very late - and certainly later than my own personal comfort zone.
I’m not sure if any of this makes any sense at all. I hope it does - and if it doesn’t it’s probably because I don’t know either, or because I don’t want to fully blow this up into an essay (sorry, too late?) or because I suck at making a point, or maybe because we simply disagree. All I know is that I sometimes see these posts of “what is punk and what isn’t” and it leaves me with this taste of “you’re describing a utopia and it’s cute and I want that too, but it’s not everything punk as I know it is, and it feels like you don’t want to see something that mattered too - even if it was brutal and disgusting.” And everytime I see it I feel alien, like something that mattered to me so much as a teenager and young adult gets taken away from me and made into something so sleek and pretty it becomes something unattainable to be that I simply don’t manage to live up to in the way I would like. I guess that is a petty, selfish way of looking at it too.
«It's a repressive society where you can't be horrible, I'm not horrible, they made me horrible, I'm just honest.»
- John Lydon
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Jason
hey, you guys remember jason from the movie? the one gretchen hooked up with but he didn't actually care about her? yeah :) ALSO REGINA POV?!?!? tw: bullying, suffocation, manipulation, shane omen mention g/t mean girls
I wasn't controlling.
Well- let me rephrase that.
There were rules for being plastic. I made sure Karen and Gretchen followed those rules. That wasn't controlling. Just, guidelines. They're rules in place to help the other plastics. Dress codes, what clubs you can and can't join, you can't buy a dress without the others approval, don't date your friend's exes-
but totally new boys were fair game.
So before you ask, no, that's not why I'm against Gretchen dating Jason.
On surface level, Jason seemed like a nice guy.
But he constantly blew off Gretchen, he flirted with other girls, and overall was totally using her.
And that's not even getting into how he treats tinies.
That's right.
Jason is a two-faced fucking asshole.
And none of the giants can see it.
I mean- I'm sure they're suspicious. I know Damian notices when Janis stiffens the second Jason walks in the room. And, Cady has probably picked up on the way Aaron gets quiet. If Gretchen has caught on to anything, she totally ignores it. I mean- Janis, Aaron, and I tried telling our friends in the begging. Gretchen didn't want to hear it. She's got a huge crush on the guy and totally ignores all red flags.
So we gave up getting through to her.
Besides, who would believe us? Jason was so sweet whenever our giants were around.
I guess when we collectively decided we couldn't get through to Gretchen- all the other giants were a lost cause too. And that was months ago. We're in too deep now.
"Allow me to take it back to the drawing board and suggest the best idea we've had since day one," Janis huffed. We were in an empty hallway after school for 'english help'. We've been staying after a lot more recently.
It's been getting worse.
Jason isn't trying to be sneaky anymore. He'll pick up Aaron without asking, conveniently drop his textbook on the cafeteria table right next to Janis, wrap his arm around Gretchen when I'm on her shoulder.
Yet nobody has caught on.
Janis continued. "Why don't we just tell our giants what he's doing?"
"Because Gretchen won't listen to me."
"Good thing there's three other friends." Janis points out.
I rolled my eyes, waving my hand dismissively. Of course, Janis didn't understand how it felt not to have her giant listen to her. Her and Damian practically share a mind, if anything it's a shock he hasn't started asking questions. "Fine, if you know what's best for everyone, go talk to Damian. I'm sure you two will solve everything with your buddy buddy perfect communication skills. Janis has a giant who actually listens to her! Wow! You don't have to rub it in." I cross my arms over my chest, leaning back against the wall.
Aaron blinks, his gaze bouncing between both of us nervously.
"I wasn't-" Janis pauses, letting her hands fold in her lap. "I wasn't rubbing anything in. Listen- Regina, I'm sorry Gretchen won't listen. Truly. I'm being genuine right now. But don't make me feel guilty for trying to come up with a solution to something affecting all three of us."
"Right," I mumble, guilt rising in my stomach. "Sorry. I just-"
My voice trails off but neither Janis nor Aaron push for me to continue talking. Gretchen was somebody I could always trust to be there and listen to me. Now she didn’t. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to make her listen. We're silent for a while while I regroup my emotions, not wanting to snap for no reason again.
"I have tried talking to Gretchen recently."
"And how did it go?" Aaron prompted.
"Well, it fucking went." I shrug. "Gretchen isn't used to having boys like her. I love her but crushes directed to her don't happen often. So of course she accused me of being jealous a boy finally liked her and not me."
"Maybe it had to do with how you worded it?" Janis suggests.
"Well, how else do I word 'hey maybe you should break up with the boy you're not even officially dating yet because he's toxic, a cheater, not actually in love with you, also harassing your tiny friends'?"
"Literally any way but that." Janis mumbled.
I shrug again, pulling out my phone. "Well, I did my best. You know emotions aren't my thing." I want to cry a little just thinking about the talk last week. But I don't. Crying won't fix anything.
"Regina, why can't you be happy that a boy likes me for once?! I know you're used to all the boys falling head over heels for you, but this is the first time a cute boy has put in the effort to care and call back and-"
"But he doesn't, Gretchen! He doesn't call back. He. Doesn't. Care! I'm doing this for you because nobody else is gonna tell you. Jason is bad news. He doesn't care about you, or Karen, or Cady, or Damian, and he really doesn't give a shit about Janis, Aaron, or I!"
"Just let me be happy, Regina." Gretchen says dismissively, ignoring everything I just said.
There's a hand on my shoulder, jolting me out of my thoughts. Aaron looks at me worriedly but retreats his arm. "Gina, you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just-" I wipe away a strand of hair that's been matted to my face by tears. Wait-
-tears?
I use my sleeve to dry my face quickly. I didn't even realize I started crying. I was just so tired. I was supposed to feel safe around my friends. Even when the rest of the school sees me as an emotionless bitch I should be able to turn to my friends and be okay. I couldn't do what when my current number one source of fear has intruded into our group.
"So," Janis says awkwardly. "We don't tell our giants directly. How do we get them to see the side of Jason we're seeing?"
"We catch him in the act." Aaron suggests.
Janis shakes her head with a sigh. "I am tired and quite frankly sick. I don't want our plan 'a' to be; lets put ourselves in danger in hopes that our friends stop by to witness. Let's make that plan 'y' or 'z'."
"Well, we already have plans 'b' through 'z'. We need and 'a', I'm just spouting ideas." Aaron points out.
Janis sighs, shaking her head. "I should have stuck with Damian. I need a nap and maybe an Advil."
I chuckled dryly at the girl sitting across from me. "Always have your priorities sorted, huh Janis?"
"If my priorities include being sick and not wanting to deal with Jason ever again then yeah."
"It's getting harder and harder 'not to deal with Jason ever again'," Aaron pointed out. "Remember lunch last week?"
"Don't remind me." Janis huffed.
Last week Jason decided to be a lot more careless with how he treated us around our giant friends.
I cringe just thinking of the memory.
"All I'm saying is the tiny soccer team is so underfunded. We're even better than the giant soccer team but you wouldn't know it because we've set up to fail."
I raise my eyebrow as Aaron sits next to me, passionately explaining how he swears the tiny soccer team is not a total failure.
I sat in front of Gretchen and across from Janis, who was flopped against Damian's forearm clearly struggling to stay awake.
I grin as she yawns.
"Am I boring you, Janis?" Aaron teases.
"A little," Janis says with full honesty.
Before Aaron can remark, a stack of textbooks is dropped in between him and I, narrowly missing me as I push myself backward.
Jason.
Janis's eyes widen and I instantly rush around the textbook to make sure Aaron is okay. He is, just looks equally as shaken up as I do.
Jason sits in the seat between Damian and Gretchen without bothering to great the tinies he just nearly crushed. It's where Cady normally sits, but she isn't here today.
"Jason!" Gretchen grins, pecking him on the cheek like I didn't just almost die.
I throw and exasperated look to Janis who laughs at my expense.
She wasn't the one almost fucking crushed.
Janis pushes off Damian's arm, making her way over to Aaron and I.
Or tries to.
She doesn't make it very far before shes intercepted by a hand scooping her up.
Janis makes a noise of surprise as Jason lifts her off the table without asking.
I push myself closer to Gretchen as Janis instantly tries to get back down to the table. Jason's thumb knocks her down and I cringe because- that looked like it hurt.
Damian eyes Jason wearily but doesn't vocally say anything. But neither does Janis so why would anyone worry? It's just Jason. Sweet Jason. The boy who's probably gonna ask Gretchen to spring fling. Innocent Jason.
Janis sits up again, clearly uncomfortable, as Damian speaks. "Maybe I should hold Janis?"
"No," Jason says simply before Janis can even open her mouth. "She's fine."
"Janis," Damian ignores the boy next to him. "Do you want Jason holding you?"
Janis is silent for a while, and I don't blame her.
She's in Jason's hands.
One wrong more and shes getting hurt-
badly.
"I- I uh, kinda want to be with Damian right now? If that's okay?" Janis speaks slowly, picking her words wisely.
"That's okay!" Jason reassures her sweetly, passing the girl to her giant. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." Aaron and Janis make an identical face of discussed at the sickly sweet tone and I can only assume my face is similar.
"It's okay." Janis says softly, visibly more relaxed in Damain's hands.
Jason forces a frown. "Well- I'll go give you space. Gretchen, I'll see you next period."
He gets up, walking away but I don't feel very bad for him. If anything, I feel safer. And if the collective breath of relief from Janis and Aaron was an indicator- they felt the same.
As soon as Jason was out of earshot, Gretchen turned to Janis. "Jason was just trying to be nice, Janis. You need to be willing to welcome him into our friend group."
Janis' jaw slacked. The 'are you kidding me' went unsaid. Instead, Janis forced out an "Of course, it's my fault."
"I'm serious, Janis. Be nice."
"I'm serious too." Janis shot back.
Aaron and I shared a look of helplessness. We couldn't just tell them. Our giants would never believe us.
To them, Jason could do no wrong.
"The only solution is to never go to lunch again." Janis speaks up, bringing me out of my thoughts.
"Mhmm, sure. That's a reasonable solution." Aaron teases.
"You got something better, soccer boy?" Janis raises her eyebrow.
Aaron shakes his head. "We've reached a dead end. Gina? You got any ideas?"
I shake my head with defeat. "Unfortunately, no. All I know is Jason hates us and his goal is to make our friends hate us too through lying and manipulation."
"Go girl, give us nothing." Janis rolls her eyes. "We already knew that Regina."
"Okay, I get your sick and cranky, Janis, but I don't need you-"
"Okay!" Aaron interrupts me. "The three of us are stressed! We're worried. We're scared. But we're also all on the same page. Let's not go at each other's throats right now. We're the only ones who understand each other's struggles. Please stop fighting."
Janis and I both mumble a weak sorry.
Aaron was right. We were all scared. Can you blame us? Jason was doing everything in his power to isolate us from our friends. For no other reason other then we're tinies and see-through his act. Why he wants Gretchen so bad is beyond me. But hell am I gonna let his toxic ass have her.
"Do you guys remember that scarf Gretchen wore last week?" I ask.
Janis tilts her head. "Yeah?"
"I don't pay enough attention." Aaron shrugs.
I grin. "Well, it was a baggy infinity scarf to refresh your memory. There was enough fabric that I could sit on Gretchen's shoulder next to her neck and not be seen. So I obviously skipped my boring history lecture. But also- Gretchen talked to Jason. He didn't know I was there."
"You're like a spy!" Janis grinned, invested in the story. "What happened?!"
"Hey, Gretchen!" Jason smiles, slipping his hand into Gretchen's as they walked down the hall.
I sunk lower into the pool of fabric, hopping Grethen didn't point out I was here.
"Hey, Jason!"
I let out a breath of relief when she doesn't.
"I have to ask you something," Jason asked.
My ears perk up as I wait for him to continue.
"Is that Janis girl always so- unfriendly? I get the feeling she doesn't like me. I just don't know why. Like Regina clearly doesn't like me very much but she might just be jealous you've got a boy and she doesn't-"
So that's where the seed of jealously in Gretchen's head was planted from. It takes all of me not the stand-up and call Jason out on his bullshit.
He continues.
"But I don't understand why Janis or Aaron wouldn't like me. Aaron just gets quiet and hey- maybe he's shy. But Janis lashes out every time I try and talk to her."
"Janis can be like that sometimes." Gretchen says, nodding in agreement.
Jason could tell her the earth is fucking flat and this bitch would nod in agreement.
I wouldn't be surprised if Gretchen is even really listening to what Jason is saying.
All she's thinking is 'hot boy's lips are moving'.
Ugh.
"At least he's caught onto the fact that I don't fucking like him." Janis crossed her arms.
"Janis, he's painting you to be the bad guy. He's trying to turn Gretchen against you, what don't you understand about that?" Aaron asked.
"Oh no, I understood. I just don't care. I hate Jason and I'm glad he's caught on."
"He hates you more." I point out.
"Impossible." Janis shook her head.
We go back and forth about who hates who more before settling on the fact that our collective hate for him outweighs anything he feels for us.
"Let's go meet our giants, it's getting late." Aaron said standing up. He holds out his hand, helping Janis up first, then me.
Janis groans holding her head. "Still feel sick as fuck and standing up so fast did not help."
"Woe is you." I roll my eyes. "Let's go."
We walk through the school, making our way to the tiny pick up zone. We're halfway there as Aarons phone dings.
Its a text from Cady.
Aaron reads allowed: "Gretchen went home early so Karen is driving Regina home. Damian and Karen are still in after school help and I might be a bit late to pick you three up. Wait there for me, I swear I didn't forget about you guys."
I laugh. "Cady could never forget about us."
"I mean-" Janis starts. "There was the one ti-"
"Shut up." I cut her off. "Cady would never forget about her tiny friends."
We make it to the tiny pick up zone and sit against a wall to wait. It's no surprise that the hallway is empty. It's late after school on a Monday. Who would willingly still be in school?
There's footsteps down the hall and we all look up, expecting Cady.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Janis groans.
"Ever the pleasant one, Sarkisian." Jason jeers.
"I'm tired, and sick, and will literally cry if you even touch me. I will bawl. And maybe bite. Don't come the fuck near me." Janis threatens, holding up a sharpened pencil like its a knife.
Jason doesn't seem intimidated by this action. "Whatcha gonna do? Nibble my finger?"
"Fuck off!" Janis whines, throwing her head back. "Literally any day but today."
"Listen whiney and friends. I just hear to pick you up for your friends. So stop being such a bitch Janis."
The friends that told us to 'wait here for Cady'?
Riiight.
I share a knowing look with Aaron while Janis gets up, making her way back into the tiny halls.
"Not fucking dealing with this. Good day asshole."
"Nope." Jason reaches forward, picking Janis off the platform. "You're coming with me bitch."
"This is kidnapping," Janis says flatly. She doesn't fight Jason or thrash. She looks tired, like death is appealing at this point. "I'm being abducted."
Jason's fingers tighten around her. "Thought you were the fisty one? Huh? Shane said you put up a pretty good fight. Where's the fight, Sarkisian?"
"You talked to Shane?" I gawk. I don't know why I'm surprised. They definitely seem like best friends.
"Can you put me the fuck down?" Janis huffs. "Kinda hard to breath."
"Oh, is it?" Jason said with feigned worry. "Shame."
Janis cried out as the hand around her tightened, and Jason grinned at the first real signs of fear Janis has shown yet.
"Put me down- asshole!" Janis wheezed.
"Let go of her!" Aaron yelled.
It was moments like these when you really realize how helpless you were as a tiny.
All I could do was sit and watch as Aaron yelled and Janis squirmed. All I could do was pray Cady or really anybody would walk past and see what's happening.
Yeah, we've been threatened with death before.
Every tiny in Northshore has at least once.
And yeah, we've been pushed around before.
But I've never legitimately feared for my life of a friend's life.
I know maybe that's just a perk of being Regina Geroge, but this was new territory. And scary as fuck territory at that.
Jason seems pretty fucking pleased with himself and it makes my stomach twist. It's never gone this far before.
Somebody is going to get really hurt.
And I can't do anything.
I can almost feel my heart stop as Janis goes limp. I can't see her face.
But she's not fucking moving.
"Oh whoops." Jason shugs. "You tinies really are weak."
Aaron looks like if he could he'd fucking kill Jason.
Wouldn't we all.
"Put her down!" I yell, snapping out of my helpless funk.
Jason loosens his grip on Janis but she doesn't move. My breath feels caught in my throat.
My eyes were trained on Janis and I didn't see Jasons another hand till his finger flicked into my side, sending me falling backward.
I felt like I was living through one of those dramatic fight scenes in the movies.
Expect isn't it the villains who are supposed to be defeated?
I'm curled into myself on the floor, Janis is knocked out in the literal hands of the enemy and Aaron looks ready to kill or cry, whichever is possible first.
Never thought I'd die in high school.
"Hey, Jason, is that you?" A voice calls from down the hall.
"Cady!" Aaron runs to the egde of the platform.
Jasons condescending nature and snarl disappear. "Hello, Heron!"
"Is Janis asleep?" Cady asks as her eyes fall to Jason's hand. "She only ever falls asleep with Damian, either shes exhausted or really trust you."
The bitter laugh is out of my mouth before I can stop it.
Cady looks at me and tilts her head. "Regina, why do you look like you've been crying on the floor?" She pauses, her eyes trailing back between the four of us. I can almost see the doubt set in her mind. Yes! "What's really going on here?" She asks. "And uh, I'm gonna take Janis-"
Jason shakes his head. "She's fine, it won't be necessary."
"No, I wasn't offering." Cady's voice is an unfamiliar cold. "I'll take Janis."
I stand up and make my way closer to Aaron as Cady takes Janis away from Jason. "Now, what the fuck is going on.
"Literally nothing, we're just talking and-"
"No! He's a fucking asshole and he-"
"Regina, what did I ever do to you?!"
"Are you kidding me?!"
Cady looks between us nervously. "Uh, Aaron? Wanna tell me what's going on?"
"Gladly."
Cady steps over, picking both Aaron and I up. My mouth is still open from shock.
What did I ever do to you?!
Fucking bitch, want me to list it?
"So uh," Aaron starts nervously. Cady cups her hands so I'm next to Janis who looks like she's beginning to stir but uh- I've never been suffocated before, maybe she's just sleeping at this point.
But she's breathing. It's reassuring enough for me.
"It started a couple months ago." Aaron continues. "Jason actually isnt very nice? To the tinies at least." He laughs nervously, leaning closer into Cady's hand and away from Jason, who isn't bothering to keep the nice facade up anymore. "He's actually like- Shane Omen but worse?"
"Worse?" Cady's jaw drops slightly in disbelief.
"I mean- he held Janis so tight that she passed out so I'd fucking say so." I snark.
Aaron nods. "Yeah, heh- like, I dunno. Just- not nice? He uh, flicked Regina, which is why she was laying down when you walked over. And like its not the first time he's done this? Especially when we're alone."
There's an unreadable look on Cady's face as she looks up to Jason.
It almost scares me.
"I'm gonna walk away. Just-" Cady gives a low laugh. "Jesus, I almost feel sorry for you, Jason. You deserve everything coming to you. Starting with Gretchen and Damian when they find out."
Despite everything, I can't help but smile at the way Jason's face falls with realization.
It's not a big secret that Gretchen loves an excuse to slap someone.
And this is hell of an excuse.
I look at Janis who is still laying next to me, breathing shallowly.
We might have to bail Damian out of fucking jail.
Cady turns on her heels without saying another word to Jason and walks down the halls. Once he is out of earshot she looks down at us. "How long?!"
Aaron shrugs. "Since Gretchen first met Jason."
"That's like three months guys!" Cady looks genuinely heartbroken. "I can't believe we didn't notice."
Janis stirs next to me, weakly propping herself up. "Huh?"
There are tears in Cady's eyes as she stops walking. "You guy have been enduring this for three months?"
"No," I say. "Well- yes but not really. It was a build-up. He didn't just start attacking us to the point of death one random day. It started with little things. Like pushing us around and knocking us over."
"That shouldn't happen anyway!" Cady says sadly.
"But it did," Janis mumbled. She seems to have caught onto whats going on. "My chest hurts."
"I'm so sorry you guys," Cady whispers sadly. "I- how did we not notice?"
"Not notice what?"
I turn around to see Karen and Damian walking over. For a second my eyes trail behind them in search of Gretchen but- she went home. Of course.
"Cady, are you crying?" Damian asks, instantly worried. "Is everything okay? Where's Janis?"
"Right here, dude." Janis mumbles. She's looking down at her lap, her arms wrapped loosely around herself. She's still wheezing slightly and tears threaten to spill over her eyes. I don't blame her. That was almost death.
Janis almost died.
My breath hitches at the realization.
As a tiny, you almost die a lot. But- it's accidental. It's falling or almost being crushed. Never malicious actions of bigger peers.
Cady offers her hands out and I step backward, letting Damian gently scoop up Janis.
"What happened?" Karen asks, peering over Damian's shoulder at Janis.
I look back to Cady trying to figure out if she's gonna talk or if Aaron and I have to explain. She's staring at Karen with a crestfallen gaze, tear tracks down her face. "Guys-" She starts.
I know this is hard for her because she's taking it personally and blaming herself, but we really don't need the fanfare.
Not that I'm gonna step up and tell the story.
Karen steps towards picking up me and Aaron. Cady doesn't fight it, she just lets her hands fall to her side. "Y'know, Jason?"
"Yeah of course. Smile emoji." Karen says from above me.
I look over to Janis, who has her arm around Damain's finger. She's doing pretty well for passing out. God knows I'd be sobbing if that were me. Hell, the ache in my side is enough to make me want to cry right now.
"Not smiley face emoji, Karen," Cady explains softly. "I don't know the full thing, you're gonna have to ask the tinies but-"
Cady explains what she walked over to see and the minimal information she got out of us earlier. She left out a lot, but she didn't know a lot to be fair. The look of utter horror on our friend's faces almost made me feel bad. We barely scraped the top layer.
Damian is looking down at the girl in his hands who at some point in the bad retelling started crying again. Karen had held Aaron and I even closer and Cady looked ready to sit down and cry. Me too, Cady.
"Three months?" Damian whispers weakly. "Why didn't you tell us?"
"Why would you believe us? Jason's fucking great." Janis said bitterly, still clinging to his finger.
"Of course we would believe you, Jan."
"Gretchen didn't." I say softly.
I didn't really think about what I was saying. I was just mumbling to myself. But Karen heard.
"You told her?"
I shrug. "Tried to. She didn't listen."
"Well, she's gonna listen when we tell her tomorrow," Cady says. "I can't believe you didn't tell us."
I shrug dismissively, not wanting to talk about it. "It's not a big deal."
I didn't mean it. Of course, it's a big deal. But I said it wasn't anyway.
"You're telling me Janis almost died today and it's not the first time you guys have been through something like that, but don't worry it's not a big deal?!"
I pause, looking at the three giants. This was Aaron, Janis and I's normal. It's what we went through every day. Yeah, it's shitty but we're used to it. I forget sometimes the giants don't understand the fact not getting shoved around is normal for us. Being threatened and made fun of for our size is just part of an average day.
"Can we continue this with Gretchen at lunch tomorrow? I don't want this conversation twice. I feel even crappier than I already did before and I just want to sleep." Janis speaks up from where Damian held her protectively close.
"You all better tell us everything tomorrow." Cady says.
"Cady are you taking Aaron or should I get these two home?" Karen asks.
-
"This was a really funny joke guys." Gretchen says from above me. Despite her words, her voice is void of all amusement.
"Yes, because we're the type to make jokes about our tiny friends almost dying." Damian deadpans. Janis is sitting on the table in front of him looking like she'd rather talk about anything other than this.
I don't blame her.
But this could finally be my chance to get Gretchen to listen and believe me.
"Gretchen." I turn around to look up at her, but I'm on the table I need to crane my neck. "I know this isn't what you want to hear, but you have to believe us. Cady witnessed it with her own eyes if you don't believe me. Janis sure as hell can vouch since she nearly fucking died yesterday."
Gretchen doesn't respond for a long time. I feel like I can see the seed of doubt settle in on the situation. She reaches forward, scooping me up and bringing me to her shoulder.
"I- I'm not sure what to believe," She admits. "but I'll listen. I'm sorry I didn't do that before."
That one sentence felt like so much weight being lifted. Jason had Gretchen around her finger. His word was law and everyone else could fuck themself.
But not anymore.
I open my mouth to speak but get cut off by a familiar and unwelcoming voice.
"Hello everyone!"
Cady's eyes widen in disbelief. "You aren't actually stupid enough to think about sitting with us today, right Jason?"
"Aw, why not?" He asks, sitting next to Gretchen and slinging his arm over her shoulder.
I gasp as I'm knocked forward, gripping onto Gretchen's shirt underneath me as I try to stay on.
Gretchen bats Jason's arm away and scoops me up. "Jason we were talking about something private maybe it's better you join us again later."
Jason's eyes narrowed, as he looked across the table. I sunk lower in Gretchen's hand as his eyes landed on me but he moved on without trying anything. I mean- obviously, Gretchen was right here but still.
Cady's hand was resting wearily by Aaron if Jason tried something and Janis had been transported to Damian's pocket when I wasn't looking. How could Gretchen not pick up on how stressed we all are?
"What's wrong?" Jason asked, turning to Gretchen.
"It's nothing for you to worry about. I just-"
"Did I do something wrong?" Jason's face fell and I almost felt bad for him. Almost. He should pursue an acting career.
Gretchen looked at loss for what to say for a second before speaking up. "Where were you yesterday after school?"
Jason scoffed. "Whatever Cady said was a lie, Gretch."
"I-" Gretchen froze. "I didn't mention Cady."
Jason's eyes widened as he began to backtrack but- it was too late.
"Jason I need you to leave, please." Gretchen's hand was shaking as she placed me gently on the table. "There are some things I need to rethink."
"You really believe those tinies?" Jason's face morphed into utter disgust.
The mask was off, the act was over. Karen reached over, tugging me away from Gretchen and Jason and closer to her.
"I should have believed them a while ago, apparently." Gretchen snapped.
Jason rolled his eyes. "Please. They're just tinies. What makes them so trustworthy? Actually- what makes them worthy?"
Karen lets out a legitimate gasp from above me. Gretchen looks to me with an expression I can't read. My breath feels caught in my throat. I can't shake the feeling that this may be where I lose my best friend.
But she looks back at Jason. "I can't believe you really just asked that. Did you think that would help your point? What made you think- oh this will totally get Gretchen on my side? What is wrong with you?"
Jason looks dumbfounded at Gretchen's outburst. "Gretchen-"
I knew it was coming, so it was no surprise as Gretchen raises her arm, and a loud smack echos through the cafeteria over all the oblivious conversations. Jason gasps, his hand shooting up to his cheek. "You fucking bitch-"
"You have treated my friends awfully for too long. Go fuck off and find somewhere else to sit for lunch." Gretchen says simply, turning away from Jason.
Jason doesn't say anything as he looks across the table one last time. Aaron was still on the table but Cady had her hand cupped around him defensively, Damian's hand rested over his chest pocket and Janis gripped onto his finger. Karen had pulled against her arm where I sat pushed away as far away from Jason as possible. It was pretty clear he wasn't wanted here.
"Whatever." He bitterly admits defeat, pushing away from the table and walking away. Gretchen watched him leave before turning to me, wide-eyed.
"I can't believe I didn't believe you." She said sadly. "I can't believe I didn't believe any of you." I hold my arms out and Gretche complies, reaching over to scoop me up. "Regina, I'm so sorry."
I don't try and stop the tears that burn in my eyes as Gretchen holds me close to her.
We still have a lot to talk about after this but-
I've finally won after a long and painful battle. All our giants are awake and no longer oblivious to the suffering.
I'm safe.
I cling to Gretchens's shirt as the tears poor over my eyes. Gretchen shakes and I realize- she's crying too.
I wouldn't be surprised if I turned around and the whole table was.
Jason was an asshole. He manipulated his way into the friend group and made my life miserable. Plus Janis and Aaron too, I guess. But he's gone now.
We don't have to worry anymore.
We're okay.
It will be okay.
2.5/10 not my best work but fun to write @realmisspolarbear @smallsoysauce @musicallygt
#yes#shane omen mention is an official trigger warning now#hes a very triggering guy smh#g/t mean girls#tiny regina#giant gretchen#giant jason#ooo#tiny janis#giant damian#tiny aaron#giant cady#giant karen
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on to 10.16! the valentine’s episode!
fjdkfdjkfd a very worried-looking woman accepts a valentine’s bouquet and i was like, did she kill her husband and he’s lying on the floor somewhere and that’s why she looks so awkward about it? and then there’s a BLOODIED HAMMER and A BODY and i was probably right, omg, i love it.
oh! looks like she maybe called hpd herself? that’s an interesting twist.
oh my gosh, noelani is getting surfing lessons, and that alone is cute enough but then suddenly there’s a whoop and it’s tani on the beach giving vocal emotional support and I LOVE THAT. after a very, very long draught, this season is so good for us when it comes to female friendships.
lou is mad that adam put his niece’s life at risk, and that’s fair, but maybe... also be mad at adam for doing crimes? like, that’s bad? maybe?
fjdkfd we ended the last episode with danny and steve in the kitchen and that’s also their first appearance in this one. this is beautiful.
steve: “i do have a date, indeed.” danny: “with who?” steve: “a lady.” LISTEN, i am taking this as the “a lady” part being not just an evasive maneuver, but intended to be an actual answer, because it could also not have been a lady. bi steve. it’s canon now.
steve LOST COUNT of how many dates he’s been on with brooke (the lady he’s ironing his shirt for on valentine’s day) and he’s kind of smiling while he says it and that’s cute!! i like that for him!! but also. when the fuck did he go on all of these dates with brooke when he was also dating the vet in between, out of the running entirely for at least a month or two, and he’s been continually living with danny since he got back to hawaii and danny apparently knows nothing about these dates. what kind of stealth techniques has steve been employing? has he had brooke sneak in through his bedroom window at night so danny wouldn’t find out? how many times did he have to cancel a date because danny refused to sleep on the couch and there was no space left for brooke in steve’s bed? (i kid, but seriously, what is this timeline?)
danny: “i’m glad somebody has a life.” steve, pointing at danny: “oohhh, tani and quinn are going to the movies tonight...” fdjkfd, first bi steve, and now tani and quinn have a movie date. good stuff. i’m enjoying this.
fjdkfjdkf, steve, whAT. “tell you what, buddy, if i finish up early with brooke, i’ll give you a call, we can hang out.” i mean! that’s really sweet! but also very wtf, because he’s essentially going “hey, maybe this thing i have to do (date my girlfriend, ugh) won’t take very long and we’ll have time to hang! :D” and i just. god. i’m laughing, but i am so glad brooke is not a real woman because i feel very sorry for her.
danny a) recognizes signs of domestic abuse and b) has done his research and c) is appropriately gentle with this woman, even though they have her in custody and she’s already admitted to killing her husband and she potentially started an international conflict by doing so, and just. yes. good. this is a danny i love.
side note: adam is just randomly present at hq with the rest of the team when steve and danny are on the phone with them. and, oh my god. did he not just kidnap a suspect to make a secret deal with a yakuza boss? is that not the sign steve had been looking for, the reason why steve’s spidey sense had been tingling around adam? they still trust him currently and he’s just back on the job without so much as a warning? i mean, to be fair, steve is the type of guy to be all for crazy shit if it gets results, so maybe he’s glad adam did what he did, idk, but i am genuinely so confused at this point about what the writers are telling us about where adam stands, both with the team and in his own life, and with the yakuza, for that matter. is he now an active gang member while also trying to earnestly protect the law in five-0?
i love how this episode is escalating, omg. first we’re told the wife killed her husband, then he’s a thai diplomat, then the wife’s boyfriend killed the husband, then he didn’t, then thailand wants the wife while five-0 knows she didn’t do it and so they STEAL HER. taking a page out of adam’s book, i guess, though at least this time the entire team knows what’s going on.
except for tani and noelani, who are being held hostage by two amateur criminals in a convenience store, which is also a subplot i really like! honestly, not a bad moment in this episode so far.
okay, one very minor note though: please, for the love of all that is holy, do not let this woman they’re saving become a love interest for danny. they have a lovely talk in the back of a truck during the grand escape and that’s wonderful and good and i like it, but i can’t help but be really scared that the show is aiming to somehow make that romantic at some point because oh, dear lord, danny has dated enough abused women under questionable circumstances. doooon’t add a third one to the list, i beg of you.
the amateur criminals are trying to get cash that they need for MEDICAL CARE. god, i hate a world in which your options are a) commit crime or b) die. it’s a good plot, though!
kamekona is providing a safehouse for danny and the woman and he’s being very kamekona about it - warm and welcoming, but warning danny off of texting too much with kamekona’s phone because it’s ten cents per message - and it’s glorious.
oh dear lord. the couple robbing the store can’t afford the surgery the husband needs, so tani presents mandatory medical attention for prisoners as a solution, and that’s a good way to talk the wife down and probably also the best the couple can hope for in their current predicament, but it’s also very fucked up. you shouldn’t have to wave a gun around to get help for your brain tumor.
danny and the woman are found and get arrested, and the VERY NEXT SHOT is danny turning to steve in the car and asking how he got him out so fast. that WAS very fast, danny, you’re right. zero seconds has to be a new record, dang.
steve: “i may have promised yang that if she didn’t release you immediately i was gonna make a whooole lot of noise.” i do understand what this means, but i also enjoy the thought of steve literally making noise. any noise. if you don’t release danny, steve will appear at your door and start quacking like a duck very loudly. you’ve been warned, state department!
ahhh! they solve the case, find the actual killer of the abusive diplomat husband, make sure the wife gets to stay where she is and reunite her with the concerned doctor boyfriend who didn’t kill anybody!! this makes me very happy, all the more so because they won’t have her date danny if she’s already dating someone else, which puts my fears to rest. this season continues to be better about things than this show has been in the past and i appreciate the heck out of it.
adam gets an ominous warning to watch his back from a criminal he’s delivering information about hpd to. are we supposed to be on adam’s side? i’m still very confused.
fjdkfd, danny walks into the house to find the entire team getting ready for a night of hanging out and wonders if he invited everyone and forgot about it, and steve walks in, already chewing on something, and says “it’s possible, because you’re old now”. what a brilliant burn, steve. very impressive.
i won’t recount everything that happens because i know i’d end up writing a stupidly long paragraph but i do adore everything that happens and want that noted. the whole team just chilling and arguing about whether love actually is a romcom or a christmas movie? yes, please! a hundred of those.
danny takes steve aside to tell him he doesn’t have to worry about danny and steve gives an unconvincing reason for why he totally didn’t arrange this because he was worried about danny, which essentially makes it canon that he did plan all of this for that exact reason, which is SO EXTRA. they live together, they’ve spent the entire day together, and then steve cancels a valentine’s dinner with his girlfriend (who he told earlier that he didn’t want to involve danny in their relationship, because he’s too nosy) and invites like six other people just so he can hang out with danny again.
annnd they end up snuggled together on the couch. on valentine’s day. you know, like homies do.
THIS. WAS A VERY GOOD EPISODE. thoroughly enjoyed practically every second of it, 10/10, would like more like this.
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Maybe as much as I want a healthy relationship I’m just not supposed to have one. I never seem to fall for anyone capable of that. Maybe there’s something wrong with me. It’s like I see red flags and I just leap face fucking first. I think I just always wanna believe that someone has the capabilities to be better. Or I just think that it’ll be this beautiful story where we both helped each other to get better and succeed and thrive and we’re just so happy because we were just there for eachother and we worked through all our issues because of how much we loved and cared for each other, and nothing could stop us even if things got a little rough. But I gotta grow the fuck up I guess because this is reality and not a fucking romance movie. And the thing is, I don’t wanna be that person. I don’t wanna be the person that just puts up with stuff because I love someone, because that’s not what love should be. Both people need to be giving the same effort. But I still fucking do it every time. Because I’m just hoping fucking finally someone will do it back. They’ll forgive me when I mess up, and love me regardless of all my flaws, and know, that i’m trying my best always because I actually give a shit about things, because they know me, the real me and know that my love is fucking real and even if i fuck up, I will never hurt you on purpose, I will do everything that i can do not to hurt you. even to a fault, I will try and make shit work even when it’s hard, I will try and figure out a solution. Because when I love someone, losing them is the worst thing I could imagine. That’s what real fucking love is. That’s what I feel when I say I’m in love with someone. That’s why it hurts me so badly. I’m a overly sensitive bitch, I’m well aware. But that’s because I actually give a fuck. Somebody who really cares deeply about something is going to be crying their eyes out over it. You just lost someone you wanted to plan a future with. how can you not be fucking heartbroken? that means you have to start all over, but instead of bottling it up like everybody fucking else I actually let myself feel my emotions. Because if i bottle it up, I’m going to end up killing myself. if I just ignore it and push forward. I will freak out and do shit I shouldn’t do. Will I get over it? Yeah probably eventually. But it sure feels like the end of the world when it’s happening, So I’m gunna feel that. And I’m sorry I can’t feel that less intensely than I do. But That’s part of who I am. You either understand that and accept it, or move on. People need to figure out what they can and can’t deal with long term in a relationship and be honest about that shit. Like if you can’t handle someone who’s as sensitive as me, by all means, I’m not what you’re looking for, just say that and we both move on. not everything is personal, sometimes people are just fundamentally different and looking for different, things. It still hurts just as bad, but it’s better to get it over with early on, then get more attached if it’s not gunna go anywhere. Idk I’m high and going through shit and this is what I do. I vent to tumblr. Which is why i don’t give most people my tumblr. Because as childish as it may be, It’s like a diary and it’s all the parts of me, good, bad, stupid, emotionally unstable, horny, everything. And you can either handle it, or you can’t. Anyway... I’ll find a way through this... or at least I hope I will.
#personal#i'm really high#might show this to my therapist so she can try and figure out what the fuck is wrong with me#All i want in life is to be loved#and it's a problem#i mean it's progress from not wanting to live isn't it?#may not be ambitious that just a loving and healthy family raising children that hopefully turn out better than me is the only thing i can#find that would make me happy#but it's better than having nothing right?#i'd love to have more goals#but it's hard to do when you wanna die half the time#i'm still not sure that i won't end up killing myself one day#so any other goals seem less obtainable#but hopefully I'll be more enthusiastic about life one day#I think a family would help me to want more from life#because my family will be my life#anyway I can't even fucking shut up in the tags#told you i was high#I wanted it to be him#but i gotta let that shit go cuz he don't want me#iight cool back to the office and smoking and trying to forget
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10 Favorite Characters
Thank you @wisteria-lodge for tagging me!!
1. Grand Admiral Thrawn (the Thrawn trilogy by Timothy Zahn)
I stan 1 (one) blue alien Sherlock Holmes
[image description: the cover of The Last Command by Timothy Zahn, showing Thrawn as a blue-skinned humanoid with blue-black hair and glowing red eyes, wearing a white Imperial uniform. end id]
So I’m specifically talking about the book character here; I have no idea what’s going on in the Star Wars TV shows. But Thrawn of the Star Wars Legends universe (and the newer canon book, Thrawn) is hands-down one of the best and most interesting characters I’ve ever seen. He’s brilliant, creating battle strategies by studying his opponents’ cultural art to understand their cultural psychology and look for weaknesses in their thinking. And despite being a morally grey character, he’s not unduly arrogant and is actually extremely likeable--he has to work hard to get into the Imperial command structure that heavily discriminates against non-humans, his motivation is the best interest of his people, the Chiss, and he is always willing to explain his thinking to his close allies and friends. And who else would respond to being stabbed by smiling and saying, “But it was so artistically done?”
2. Beren (specifically, from Philosopher-At-Large’s script/screenplay adaptation of Tolkien’s story of Beren and Luthien, A Boy, A Girl, & A Dog: The Lay of Leithian Dramatic Script Project, which can be read in full here: https://rustbucket.net/leithian/index.html)
Do we not all want to yell at the gods about theodicy until they answer our questions to our satisfaction? I specifically pick Beren not from the original Silmarillion, as much as I love Tolkien’s work, but from Philosopher-At-Large’s script retelling, because A Boy, A Girl, & A Dog might just be my favorite work of literature of all time--fanwork, original fiction, or otherwise. I stumbled across it via a fanart of Beren on DeviantArt, like, six or seven years ago that referenced it, and my life has never been the same. It was hard to pick a favorite character, since literally all of the Script’s characters hold a special place in my heart, but I love Beren’s gentle, dry humor and his grim, determined, reckless stubbornness. His relationship with Luthien is of course the driving point of the story, but I thought that his relationships with Finrod and the other members of their company, and his backstory in Dorthonian and his interactions with the Valar were spectacularly done as well. This story is full of the grim determination to at least try and keep loving people, to keep throwing yourself at a problem and refuse to back down until you find a satisfactory solution, and Beren is right there at the heart of that, and I think that makes him pretty hopepunk.
3. Hamlet (Hamlet by William Shakespeare)
What is there to say about Hamlet that hasn’t already been said a thousand times by people significantly more learned and eloquent than me? I love him. He’s a genre-savvy protagonist trapped in a world where nothing! Fucking! Makes! Sense! My poor emo boy. I feel so much for him, being trapped in a situation where he needs to learn the truth in order to move forward and finally act, but there’s no way for him to get at the truth, so instead he just spirals further and further into fey, frustrated, erratic “madness.” Such a disaster bi. Definitely in love with his tired functional gay bf Horatio. Drama queen and Pretentious Asshole TM. In any decent modern au, he loves Hot Topic and gets all his clothes from there. I don’t even really do theater, but I’d love to have a chance to play him onstage.
4. James Dunworthy (the Oxford Time Travel series by Connie Willis)
The Oxford Time Travel series by Connie Willis ranges from hilarious (To Say Nothing of the Dog) to heartbreaking (Doomsday Book) and Mr. Dunworthy is right in the middle of all of it. For those who haven’t read it, the premise of the series is that time travel has been discovered, but we can’t use it to change the past, so instead it’s mainly just used by historians going back in time to study history, and Mr. Dunworthy is the head of the history department at Oxford University in the year 2060. He might be strict, but he has strong dad vibes, and, just, cares so much for all of his historians. He basically adopts Colin when Colin is stranded in Oxford over Christmas during an epidemic, he regularly puts himself in danger to look for lost historians, he helped invent time travel, and he knows that the point of studying the past is caring about the people who lived there. I want him to be my dad.
5. The 9th Doctor (Doctor Who)
Okay, I love 10 and 12 and 13 almost as much as I love 9, but 9 has to be my favorite Doctor. He was my first doctor, and what really got me hooked on the series was his kindness--hard-won and hard-clung to after the trauma of the time war. It isn’t always easy for him--the time war took everything away from him, and you can see how he’s tempted to be angry and bitter and harsh--but even so, he insists on helping people, on atoning for his mistakes, on nonviolence and using kindness and cleverness to fix things instead of violence and hate. He says, guns are bad and bananas are good, and every person is important, and when asked if he’s a coward or a killer, he says, “Coward. Any day.” And that philosophy, that choice, has left a deep impact on me.
[image description: gif of the 9th doctor saying “Who said you’re not important?” from New Who Season 1 episode 8, “Father’s Day.” end id]
6. Eliot Spencer (Leverage)
The whole premise of a group of thieves, criminals and con artists getting together to take down corrupt people in power is great, and Eliot is my favorite. He may have done some seriously bad shit in the past, but now he’s just devoted to taking care of the team, and particularly his hacker and his thief. I don’t know that he believes he’s worthy of their love, but he’s still somehow the most mature and emotionally stable member of the team; he knows how to control his anger and live alongside his regrets, and despite his grumbling, he dives headfirst into protecting the rest of the team and keeping them safe. Bonus points for being in an almost-canon ot3, and for the passion that he brings to his cooking. Also, I headcanon him as gray aro and transmasc, because I can.
[image description: gif of Eliot standing back-to-back with Parker and Hardison. end id]
7. Jon Sims (The Magnus Archives)
I’m only on season 3 of TMA so far, but I love Jon with all my heart. Working at a supernatural research institute, after having had a supernatural encounter of your own, and still choosing not to really believe in the supernatural until it knocks down the door to your office and riddles you with worms? Big mood. He’s a stubborn workaholic disaster ace, and I relate because I too struggle to interact with people and tend to get lost in obscure research projects for hours at a time. Somebody give this boy a hug and then a nap.
8. River Taam (Firefly)
Once again, there are a lot of good characters in Firefly, and I was hard-pressed to pick just one of them to put on this list. But River is a sweet summer child slowly overcoming trauma to find the joy and delight in the world around her that she had before the Academy, and I want all the best things for her. Bonus points go to Simon, who gave up everything he knew to save his sister, and Mal, who stubbornly sticks to his own code of honor even after loosing the war and much of his faith.
9. Lancelot (The Once and Future King by T. H. White)
A splendidly complex and morally grey take on our favorite legendary hero. T. H. White writes a Lancelot who struggles deeply with guilt and pride and imposter syndrome--who struggles desperately to do what is right and to channel the traits he finds in himself--both strengths and flaws--into doing the right thing. His scrupulosity is sadly relatable, and the lines “It is so fatally easy to make young children believe that they are horrible” and “ You could not give up a human heart as you could give up drinking. The drink was yours, and you could give it up: but your lover’s soul was not your own: it was not at your disposal; you had a duty towards it” are both absolutely haunting. It’s only implied in the book, but T. H. White admitted in letters that Lancelot enjoys pain, and is probably bi as well, and a bit in love with Arthur, and that he feels very guilty about it, and I just want a fluffy modern adaptation where Arthur and Guenevere and Lancelot can be in the kinky ployamarous triad that they deserve and just be happy together.
10. Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling)
While I have some problems these days with the Harry Potter series and the transphobia of its author, it’s possible to like something without minimizing its flaws, and this list would not be complete without Luna Lovegood. I spent significant portions of middle school pretending to be her. She taught me how to embrace my own unabashed weirdness, and I wouldn't be the same without her.
@a-nerdy-shade-of-purple @conan-concocting-chaos @one-supportive-august @the-lyra-cal-trans @the-eleftheria @dumpstertrash
#quinn speaks#thank you so much for the tag! I had a lot of fun doing this#my taste in characters is apparently Ravenclaws and Huffledors haha#thrawn#beren#hamlet#dunworthy#9th doctor#eliot spencer#jon sims#river taam#lancelot#luna lovegood
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hi!! idk if you’re still doing ships but my name is jillian, I’m tall, like a little bit above average, with brown hair and blue eyes. I’m super pale, like basically a ghost lol and I’m about average weight too but get super insecure about my body often. I pretty much follow the rules, hate conflict, and am super shy until you get to know me, then I’m p much an open book. I love to read, write, play guitar, sing, play with makeup, and travel. I also deal with major ocd and anxiety. thank u!
not to gas my own shit but this is so cute to me i love pope he would be such a good boyfriend
i ship you with pope!! (honorary mention: you and jj would get each other very well. your struggles with mental health would draw him to you, and he would automatically trust you because of the things you dealt with daily. your lives weren’t necessarily similar, but it comforted jj to know there was another pogue who was constantly battling themselves, because his entire life had been a battle with both himself and his family. wholesome ass friendship.)
when it came to you, pope would be willing to do anything. he didn’t care what it was. if you even slightly implied that you wanted to go to some specific place (whether that be a store down the street or a country across the ocean), pope would be determined to make it happen one day. he knew how much you hated conflict, and how negatively it impacted you when any of the pogues got into any fights, so he tried his absolute best to keep jj and john b out of trouble whenever he could. he knew how to help your anxiety better than anyone else, and if none of the solutions he knew were available in a moment when you needed them, he’d figure something out. that was pope. no matter what he had, he would always find a way to help keep you safe and healthy and happy.
although no one’s connection to you compared to pope’s, the other pogues knew you very well, too. because he understood your anxiety and everything that came with it, jj always tried his best to stay out of trouble. if rafe or topper were in a room, he’d usually just remove himself to spare everyone the problems. (keyword: usually.) john b did the same, making sure to keep his distance from any kooks who might set him off. nights that you guys all spent at the Chateau, kie would help you run through your mental checklist of things that needed to be secured before bed, and loved the feeling of helping you tackle what you had to. despite all of these amazing humans surrounding you with constant intentions to help and keep you feeling good, nobody could control the actions of rafe cameron.
in your opinion, any type of party at the Boneyard was destined to go wrong. it was literally just a beach... for underage teenagers to get drunk and stoned beyond belief. it didn’t matter if they were on vacation with their families, or had a gun in their waistband, or had plans to go on a date with their girlfriend of the month on the same night. if somebody your age wanted a party, they’d head to the Boneyard. to you, that was just asking for trouble. but, every once in a while, you’d force yourself to try one more time. when you skipped the parties, pope did too, and you didn’t want to be the one keeping your boyfriend from having fun with the pogues. it was also entertaining to see jj drunk every now and then. so that summer friday night, you’d cave to your friends’ pleas for you to tag along, at least for a little while. you guys would arrive to the function a bit late, jj immediately running off toward the keg, calling back something about ‘catching up’ as the rest of you strolled in the sand behind him. eventually kie would wander off too, and you, pope, and john b would find a mutual friend from school to chat with for a while. at some point, you glanced over to find jj chugging from a red solo cup as he nodded at whatever his tourist of the night was saying, and kie sitting around the fire with some of the other locals. things would be good for a while after that, but then rafe just had to show up. “do you think he knows he’s partying with a bunch of high schoolers?” you’d mumble to pope upon spotting sarah’s brother. pope would chuckle and look down at you wrapped around his side nonchalantly. “i don’t think anyone his age likes him. he’s too... evil.” you’d laugh at that, nodding in agreement. a few moments later, jj was stumbling over to join you guys, somehow holding a filled cup for every single one of you. you all accepted the drinks with more laughs, but that was where the fun ended.
“no drink for me, pogue?” as soon as you heard the approaching voice, you looked up to pope to find him already staring at you. “fine so far?” you’d nod slowly, turning in his arms to watch what would happen next. when you settled back in pope’s arm, you realized jj was watching you two. you gave him a discreetly pleading look, shaking your head lightly. the glare in his eye made you sure he wasn’t going to step down tonight. “we just got here,” you’d breathe for only pope to hear, and he’d squeeze his arms around you. “hey,” he’d call, shaking you a bit so you’d spin back around to face him. you twisted your head, partially laying it on his shoulder so you could get a clear view of his face. “let’s just go. i’ll get the keys from john b, and we can come back and pick them up later. okay?” you’d look at him for a moment, no clear expression on your face, but feeling rushes of admiration and gratefulness in large waves. you’d nod, letting him take your hand to lead you to the other pogue, who had already begun to try getting rafe to just fuck off (to no avail). you stood beside pope as he held his hands out for the keys and explained the plan to john b, and suddenly you were becoming aware of your own heartbeat and breathing as you noticed the tension in jj’s stance along with rafe’s murderous expression. but before you could see, do, or say anything else, pope was catching the keys that jb was tossing to him and pulling you in the opposite direction. you tried glancing behind you as pope led the way, but he gave your hand another tug, throwing you a don’t do that look before glancing back for a second himself. kiara had appeared on the scene, and so had sarah. maybe they could help diffuse the situation. quicker than you expected, your foot hit cement, and you recognized the Twinkie sitting across the lot. pope opened your door for you (fuckin’ gentleman) and moved around to his own side, twisting the key in the ignition and turning to you. “date night?” he’d ask endearingly, smiling brightly and clearly holding in a giggle. you broke into laughter, shaking your head at him and pulling out your phone to see if there were any updates yet. “hey,” pope said, snatching your phone out of your hand and dropping it into a cupholder before pulling you a little closer to him. “hey, yourself,” you’d reply sarcastically. “are you okay?” pope would be staring into your eyes as he asked, anxious for your answer. with a smile, you’d lean in and press your lips against his. he’d hum in surprise, immediately melting into you for the few moments that your lips were connected. you’d pull back, smiling again. “yes, pope, i am okay. all thanks to you.” he’d roll his eyes and scoff, his shy side popping out as you poked him in the side with a giggle. “anything for you, jill.”
#outer banks#obx#outer banks imagines#outer banks imagine#obx imagines#obx imagine#outer banks ships#outer banks ship#obx ships#obx ship#outer banks blurbs#outer banks blurb#obx blurbs#obx blurb#outer banks fics#outer banks fic#obx fics#obx fic#pope heyward#pope#pope heyward x reader#pope x reader#pope heyward imagines#pope heyward imagine#pope imagines#pope imagine#pope heyward blurbs#pope heyward blurb#pope blurb#pope blurbs
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" happy birthday to the sweetest, kindest pain in my ass! "
✨✨ ANSWER from TOMO ✨✨ / ( @castholy )
Birthdays are, in general, a little strange for Tomo. He likes them, for the most part, because, as always, they’re an excuse to throw a party. It’s just that most of that partying takes place late at night and early the next morning so he really spends very little of the day celebrating in any meaningful way. Not a problem, he’s a grown man and he can deal with that. Just like he can deal with the fact that people don’t really bother sending him gifts or money unless they’re terribly close to him. What do buy the rich kid with no impulse control? (Not that Min had been deterred by these sorts of concerns, having managed to surprise Tomo with a few items of expensive clothing and two Tamagotchi for his collection — both Tamagotchi SOME, the very new and Korea-specific release of an existing model from last year and in all four available colours — that he’d managed to pick up during a trip to Seoul a couple of weeks prior.)
He’d visited his mother earlier in the day, a matter of habit and tradition. If nothing else, Tomo knew he’d never heard the end of it if he didn’t show face and he didn’t want the rest of the day ruined by screaming matches over the phone. She had been about as enthusiastic as ever. The last time she’d shown any real interest in his birthday, he must have still been a child. As a matter of fact, he’s fairly certain the last birthday she’d cared all that much about was his thirteenth, wherein she’d near enough overwhelmed him in an effort to distract him from the fact it had been his birthday without his father. Although his father had been pretty distant at the best of times, he’d always put effort into birthdays, even before the divorce. Sometimes Tomo cannot help but wonder if his mother had always been like this and he’d just never really noticed but he’s quite certain she’d never been this frustrated until he’d run headfirst into adulthood, as though she was resentful of the fact he was no longer naive and malleable. This time around, she’d sat him down at the island in the kitchen taken it upon herself to complain that, at his age, she’d already married and had a child and that Tomo messes around far too much, that he’s wasting his time. The last point is a little fair, he thinks, he doesn’t know how to argue with it but it’s a tiring argument to keep having. Things had gotten particularly cold after he lost his patience and (accurately, he’ll maintain) told her that, at his age, she was less than a year into a rushed shotgun marriage to some guy who’d knocked her up on her trip abroad and all she’d actually done was give birth to a kid she barely wanted. It was around that point that the visit had found its natural end and she’d decided Tomo had overstayed his welcome. She handed him his gift and led him to the door but he’d excused himself, asking to take a quick toilet break before he left, before promptly throwing up his breakfast. When she’d discovered what was going on, she accused him of being hungover and he agreed without putting up a fight, finding it easier than explaining that the guilt of what he’d said had made him nauseous. If he’d told the truth, she’d have accused him of looking for sympathy and trying to make her feel guilty. He still hasn’t opened the gift.
Perhaps that’s why he doesn’t quite know how to handle Aeris’ simple birthday wish and can’t come up with a better response than an awkward joke. All in all, he’s used to Min being the only one who’s really sincere about the whole thing. Co-workers and staff will wish him a good day if it comes up and he happens to be working that day, and friends will save themselves for the evening. He wonders if more of them are more invested in the party than the actual date of it. One of his Japanese costars from the film he’d worked on earlier that year had sent him a small gift and he’d almost cried, just because it had taken him by surprise. Min had always put in a good effort; this year, he’d texted Tomo a string of emoji-riddled birthday wishes the minute midnight had hit. The thought of his best friend anxiously watching the time to ensure he got it at exactly midnight when Tomo himself hadn’t been paying much attention made up for everything else.
In fact, when he hears the words come out of Aeris’ mouth, he feels his head swim for a moment. For the umpteenth that day. Have you ever wanted to strangle yourself? Because that’s precisely how he’s feeling. But the words settle pretty quickly and the feeling passes with them, and he’s quickly all smiles. Just give him a moment to find his bearing and Tomo will always find a way to glitter. Until she showed up, he’d been waiting a good half an hour. It’s his own fault, he’d come to their agreed meeting place far too early, having realised he didn’t know what else to do with himself after the visit to his mother’s house and he’d been sure that finding an appropriate distraction would have resulted in him being late. Tomo hadn’t asked her to come along with any consideration for it being his own birthday, he’d just needed an excuse to get out the house and he hates navigating busy places alone. No matter how much he hides himself behind heavy sunglasses and shading hats, he can’t get the paranoia of being seen out of his head. They’re fears that seem to dissipate so long as he’s got somebody with him. And the fact that Aeris is usually quite willing to put up with his mile-a-minute bullshit is a welcome detail as well. He’d been shifting his mother’s gift, still wrapped, from hand to hand when Aeris appeared, trying to work out when and if he should bother opening it. If it’s a decent gift, he’ll feel even worse about his outburst but, if it’s terrible, he’ll feel even more like his mother doesn’t give a shit. If it’s neither of those things, that’ll probably guarantee he’ll be hit with that weird numb feeling he gets when he thinks too hard about these things. None of the solutions are favourable.
“N’awwww, you think that about me?” And he’ll absolutely take it. After all, it’s better to be lovely and annoying than plain old boring! All it means is that he has his own Tomo Flavour and he’s more than satisfied with that. As time goes on, he’s starting to realise that birthdays don’t mean as much to him as he likes to pretend. It’s fun to exaggerate and act it up because he gets to drag people to his favourite club and book out his favourite private room, while people insist on buying him drinks. He gets to be the centre attention and, as much as he’d deny it at any given opportunity, he loves that. He hates it at the same time, it’s all far too much, but there’s a kind of rush in being pushed past your limit. Or maybe he’s just weird. These are the sorts of things he’d never be able to explain to anybody, not without them thinking there’s something wrong with him. But the things that stick with him the most on days like this are simple kindnesses. Attention really only keeps him satisfied for so long, like a caffeine boost for loneliness, and before long he’s a wreck all over again but sincere affection, that’s more like a much-needed night’s sleep. He jumps up from where he was sat and, unwrapped still in hand, he pulls her into a tight hug. Tomo has been told before – by Min, unsurprisingly – that he’s a little clingy but he’d insisted that he meant it in a nice way, that it was a reassuring sort of clinginess. It’s not clear to Tomo what he’d really meant but he often remembers those words when he worries he’s being too much and finds himself feeling a little better about it.“Is it wrong that I feel like I need to buy you lunch as a thank you for remembering?” Tomo laughs, “Cause I don’t remember mentioning it. Did you check Wiki or something?” It’s probably an insensitive joke, given that she likely remembered on her own, but Tomo’s so busy trying to grin his way through the awkwardness that making sure the words that come out of his mouth aren’t stupid has kind of fallen back to second priority. He pulls out of the hug and, bouncy as always, throws an arm around her shoulder, giving her room to shove her off whenever she feels like it. Tomo’s not the sort of person to take that personally, everybody knows this much.
“I’m sorry I’m dragging you to the beach in fuckin’ November”, he adds, “I’m kind of surprised you agreed. I can think of a whole bunch of people who’d have told me to go fuck myself but you— you respect that I’m a pain in the ass!” There’s a chance, he’s aware, that he’ll regret putting this before lunch given that, technically speaking, he’s running on an empty stomach right now but that’s such a depressing topic to breach on a birthday. He doesn’t want to make her feel bad. Tomo always got the feeling Aeris was someone who had enough troubles of her own so burdening him with own bullshit, most of which makes little sense a lot of the time, seems unfair. Selfish even. “But you’re kind of outdoorsy, right? And it’s not that cold today. Maybe you’ll find some artistic inspiration or something.” Tomo beams up at her as he says this. Then, he remembers the small, wrapped box still in his hand. “And maybe I can throw this in the ocean if I hate it.”
He gasps, very suddenly. “No, wait, that’s pollution!” Hands are clasped together in apology and Tomo starts laughing. “Pretend I didn’t say that part!”
#« 𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 (ᴛᴏᴍᴏ) » / 「 answered. 」#drinking mention#emetophobia mention#death mention#THIS TOOK ME SO LONG THAT IT'S NOT EVEN TOMO'S BIRTHDAY ANYMORE#i'm so sorry this is like 1.7k words this has no business being as long as it#esp since i don't even start talking abt aeris until the second half#i'm sorry this is a lil rough in parts.....i tried to keep the tone mostly lighthearted and fun but tomo's so...up and down in that regard#i feel like anything i write for him is gonna be total whiplash#IT NEEDED TO START OFF ROUGH TO SHOW THE CONTRAST AND WHY HE'S V TOUCHED THAT AERIS CAME ALONG WITH HIM ON HIS STUPID AUTUMN BEACH ESCAPADE#tHIS IS SUCH A MESS BUT OH WELL HOPEFULLY IT'S AN OK READ ASDFGHGFDS the power of friendship#both in ppl agreeing to go to the cold beach & also in me writing this many words bc ur my friend (:#just thinking abt how he doesnt even wait to see if she got him a gift or smth...partly bc that's GODMODDY but also bc he's probs not even#thinking abt that at all ASDFGHGFDS#castholy
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