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#whatever I’m done now that one in particular just really irritated me
lesbiansanemi · 2 years
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Day 847337382 of seeing a bad faith “hot take” about Fullmetal alchemist and having to physically restrain myself from starting shit
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heyclickadee · 1 year
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Okay! Thoughts on “Retrieval.” This was so much easier to get through.
1. Oh hey! It’s not a big heavy emotional episode that speaks to my soul THANK GOD
2. Seriously, it was kind of nice to get a break. This season seems to be following the same general pattern of season one where episodes 7, 8, and 9 are heavy hitters, while episode 10 serves as a bit of a breather.
3. That said…this…is probably my least favorite episode of the season. I don’t dislike it, I don’t even think it’s a bad episode, but I personally found it a little clumsy, and every other episode of the season has been so good that this one falls a little flat by comparison. Especially on the heels of the last three. Now, that said, there are so many little moments in this I adore, even if I think the whole is a little clunky.
4. *don’t check tbbtwitter DON’t check tbbtwitter don’t do it don’t check tbbtwitter don’t oh shoot why did I check tbbtwitter WhhHhhYyyyyYyyyyyyyyyy*
5. Okay, I get the frustration that things aren’t moving fast enough more than I usually do. I don’t one-hundred percent agree, but I get it. I get wanting more Crosshair, wanting more for Hunter and Wrecker, and wondering where, exactly, the season is going. But I also have a general rule of not criticizing a show until for not doing something I want it to do until the show is completely done, because nine times out of ten the show either ends up doing it OR ends up doing something other than what I expected that ends up being better anyways. Now, that’s my rule, and it doesn’t have to be anyone else’s, but I’m going to sit over here and wait to see what happens. And enjoy what we’re getting now in the meantime. Because whatever criticisms I have, and I do have some, there’s some good stuff here.
6. I loved the fact that the gang isn’t just waiting for Cid to come get them. It shows that they don’t trust her enough to expect that she will help them out, and they’re taking proactive measures to get themselves out of this situation now while they’re all still pretty able and not actively starving to death instead of waiting for her to inevitably not come through for them and having to figure something out then.
7. Wrecker really said it was his turn to be extra testy towards everyone this time around, didn’t he?
8. Really, though, Wrecker’s not having a good time here. He’s missing Echo and Crosshair and the marauder got stolen and they’re stranded and on top of everything else it’s hot and he’s hungry and you know what? Be as irritated as you want, my guy. And you know things are bad when he starts saying things like, “Don’t get your hopes up, kid,” to Omega.
9. Wrecker watching that piece fall off the bike, staring at it, and then Giving Up because Woe Be Upon Him was a Mood.
10. There’s the parallel between Rampart interrupted Crosshair every time he tries to eat and Mokko using food as a way to control the kids in the mine, yes, but there’s also an uncomfortable semi-parallel between that and Cid NOT sending immediate help when she knew the gang didn’t have enough food to last even a few days. It’s that whole “gotta way to live, gotta work to eat, gotta put yourself in abusive and exploitative situations to work” trap.
11. Wrecker really rolled for intimidation on a fifteen year old. He actually rolled a 5, but he’s got a +30 modifier, so it doesn’t matter. (I will admit that I don’t know how modifiers work).
12. Actually, Wrecker going around growling at everything in general and Benni in particular because he’s hangry, agitated, and just trying to move things along as fast as possible made me realize that Wrecker actually doesn’t capitalize on how physically intimidating he is all that often. Yeah, he’s big, loud, and over the top, but he almost never throws his weight around to make himself seem scary. If anything he spends a lot of the time doing the exact opposite.
13. Gonky, coming in at the clutch!
14. “That’s our defective power droid.” I love how protective they are of Gonky! He’s like the beloved family dog who really just kind of sleeps all the time, but everyone loves him all the same.
15. Hunter: *dives face first into the void*
Somewhere in the back of my mind, as though from a great distance: HE’S SO HOOOOOT!! AND RESPECTFUUUULLLL!!!
16. Seriously, who gave him the right—
17. I really liked Omega seeing first hand how bad things for those kids were, and how Mokko pitted them against each other. Omega pointing out that the way Mokko treated them all was wrong was probably the first time Benni ever really heard something like that. It’s hard to see how abusive a situation is from the inside. *cough cough Cid cough cough the Empire*
18. This was actually a really good episode for Omega in general. She’s seeing more of the galaxy outside Kamino, seeing how the galaxy isn’t divided into “The Empire” and “Everyone Else,” bonding with people outside the batch, learning about other people’s perspectives and concepts of home, and trying to make things better with small acts of kindness. Like giving Benni her ration bar. She doesn’t know how soon it is before she’s going to eat next because who knows if they will, in fact, get out of there, but she still hands it over completely unprompted, because she knows this kid is starving. And even though getting access to Mokko’s profit records wasn’t her goal, she does take the time to look through them and point out that the math definitely isn’t mathing with how poor the mine is supposed to be.
19. I was a little bit annoyed that Hunter didn’t immediately step in and help those kids, but that, “We’re not engaging. These kids have it bad enough as it is,” does a lot to explain why. He doesn’t have all the information that Omega ends up having about the mine’s profits at this point, so he thinks the mind really is poor. He doesn’t have the means to take care of all of these kids if he, for example, tried to shuttle them off-world or anywhere to take them if he did—the kids would still be stuck with nothing. And it’s not as though the team can’t really use their normal skill set to, say, overthrow Mokko. One missed shot from anyone would destroy the entire mine and leave the minor miners with even less at best, and kill everyone inside at worst. He’s not backing away from helping because he doesn’t care, he’s backing away because he doesn’t want to make things worse. It’s not handled as deftly as the bad batch usually handles things like this, but I do appreciate that it’s there.
20. Season two has been focusing on Omega’s relationship with Echo and Tech more than it’s been focusing on her relationship with Hunter, but, even though I do miss their talks, there’s absolutely been growth here. The guys have equipped Omega to be able to handle herself and Hunter has complete faith in her to do so. Can you imagine season one Hunter watching Omega throw herself off the end of a walkway and into a pit of fiery death without screaming at her to stop and having all the heart attacks at once? Or early season two Hunter? No. But here, he knows she’s going to be able to make the leap and she knows that he’ll catch her. They don’t even have to talk that plan out, they’re that in sync.
21. Oh hey, look at the way Tech is checking on Omega and talking things out with her since their heart to heart last episode! I love the growth in their relationship!
22. All right, I know Tech’s line about how there are others like them in the galaxy and how that’s something is getting ripped apart in some circle somewhere, but…while I do think the line is a little clumsy in this particular context, since the batch didn’t go in with the intention of freeing the kids in this mine, I think it’s being misunderstood. I don’t think Tech is saying that they’re big damn heroes or anything like that. I think he’s saying that they’re helpers. Because for a group of people that really just wants to lay low and live a bit selfishly, they go out of their way to help out. A lot.
They’re not battling it out with the empire, they’re not taking on that big fight, but they do just a little bit of good almost everywhere they go. Hunter wasn’t able to save Caleb, for example, but doing what he could did Caleb the chance to get away. They don’t follow orders on Onderon, which allows Saw to get away and fight another day, too. Echo gets a bunch of droids away from what seems to be another abusive work environment, they go to Saleucami looking for a place to lay low and end up helping the Lawquanes escape, they intentionally flub a job for Cid to hand important intel over to people they know will use it to fight the empire, they save Hera’s parents, they save Gregor, Tech helps one of the few surviving Serennian’s get access to his people’s history, they help Cid out of real mafia level trouble more than once for no other reason than that it’s the right thing to do (and to keep Omega from being sad), the immediately drop a job when they realize a kid is being trafficked and then help defend that kid’s home, they take a huge risk to help Rex with an important mission (this did backfire but it wasn’t on them), and, no, they didn’t come to this mine with the intention to help the kids out but the still did give those kids the means and information to help themselves (tightening this episode up a bit could have made that more clear and made that line feel less off, but it is absolutely there).
That’s what Tech’s saying; they help people out, and at the least try their best to not make things worse, and they’re not alone. And in a galaxy full of Ramparts and Mokko’s, that does count for something.
23. Tech and Wrecker could’ve shot those droids on the bridge at any time. They didn’t, however, because taking out the droids before the kids all turned on Makko would have meant probably having to stun the kids, too. And normally they’d probably okay with that, but they are standing over a molten chasm of death, and it wasn’t worth taking the risk of a kid falling.
24. *flashbacks to exactly this time in season one when half of tbbtwitter got pissed at the Raxus episode for almost the same reasons and declared they were giving up on the show because it wasn’t moving fast enough I get it I do but I swear to god*
25. Makko’s death was underwhelming; I’m glad Tech pointed out the parallel between how Makko controlled the miners and how the Empire controls everything, even though I’m not sure how he knew what Makko was doing unless Benni just casually told them what was happening thinking that it’s totally normal in a scene I would have liked to have seen; and there was something just a little it clunky about how the batch ended up helping out here. Those are my criticisms. But it’s not a bad episode by any stretch.
26. This is still my least favorite episode of the season, but I’ve talked myself into liking it more.
27. I think this technically counts as a successful mission. They got what they came for (the ipsium) and they’re headed back in one piece. Reeaaaaal curious how the next time they see Cid is going to go, though. I sort of have a theory that she maybe wanted them to get stranded. I don’t think Cid is evil, and she does have a genuine soft spot for Omega, but I could see Cid selling them out because she got herself in way too over her head and needed a way out.
28. Wrecker and Lula!! 🥺
29. Was…that Crosshair’s weapons kit on the cart at the end? I need to go rewatch “Replacements.”
30. Yeah, so we’re, like…definitely getting a season three, aren’t we? That’s not exactly a question—I really mean that episodes like this that make the story take it’s time to go places really makes it feel like at least three seasons are in the bag.
31. I forgot to mention that I liked the fact that both Tech and Wrecker were fixing the bike and the ship. It’s low key, but I always love seeing more of Wrecker’s mechanical/technical skill.
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ellakomskaikru · 2 years
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Your blog is cool but it would be so much cooler if you didn’t ship zutara and instead shipped kataang and maiko. It’s really irritating to see a person which such good takes have such poor taste in ships. I know you were sent an ask by a zutara anti before and I saw your response but idc. I think you have the potential to stop shipping zutara because unlike other zutara shippers you don’t rabidly block anyone who doesn’t ship it and actually interact with zutara antis by your own admission. I really hope you let yourself be helped.
Hello anon.
No. This is my blog. Therefore I will post what I like, whether you like it or not. This is my fandom space where I get to express myself in ways that I find fun. People are absolutely welcome to either like it or dislike it. I respect different opinions and I’m totally open to hearing them if it’s done in a respectful way. Therefore it is completely up to them to decide if they like or dislike what I post. What isn’t up to them, however, is to tell me what I can and cannot post on my own blog.
I’m open to hearing opposing arguments about why someone doesn’t like Zutara and instead prefers Kat.aang and Mai.ko if they are presented respectfully. I’m open to receiving those arguments in any format, either through reblogs, comments, private messages, and even anonymous asks. I’d happily peacefully debate with someone who was on anon if that’s the way they were most comfortable doing it. I’m totally open to someone challenging my opinions because it can be a learning experience.
But I will not accept someone telling what to do. So anon, if it is so irritating to you that I ship Zutara and dislike Kat.aang and Mai.ko, that it ruins your possible enjoyment of other things that I post, the best thing to do would be to block me or unfollow me, if you’re following me. Do whatever you need to do to make your fandom experience better. If you don’t want to block me and just really want to debate with me about why you dislike Zutara and prefer Kat.aang and Mai.ko, I’m open to hearing it in a respectful way. But I would not consider that letting myself be “helped”, as you put it. It would be me respectfully hearing someone else’s view and offering my own input so we can hopefully reach common ground.
If your goal is to get me to stop shipping Zutara however, I’ll tell you right now that you are wasting your time. However, we may reach common ground on one particular subject and we may come to understand why you think in a certain way and why I think in another way which could help lessen the hostility between the different ship fandoms. I have already answered three asks asking me why I like Zutara and why I dislike Mai.ko and Kat.aang if you haven’t read them already or you have and disagree with something I wrote, then I am open to hearing why you disagree with something.
But I will not take orders from you or anyone.
Have a good night/day.
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mariacallous · 1 year
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I spent some time on the subway trying to decompress from work and also trying to pinpoint what my specific frustrations are with work.
I actually left earlier then I normally do today because I just couldn’t be there anymore (and both the overall team director and my supervisor weren’t in the office at that point) which helped a bit, especially since we had finally, finally, finally finished getting all the feedback and making the edits and updates to this one project and sent the proposed final draft and got a response with two minor changes (which could and should have been asked for earlier but whatever) which I made and then resent.
Anyway, during those 45ish minutes on the subway, here’s what I realized/concluded:
-There have been so many shifts and changes and adjustments that have had to been made across the board with work that it’s hard to find or maintain and equilibrium. I have no problem being flexible, but I’m also not Elastigirl and it also takes time to adjust and shift mentally and emotionally.
-A lot of the projects I’m supposed to be sort of taking the lead or being point on either keep getting postponed or delayed or pushed back in addition to shifts and changes and whatnot, and other ones get placed on hold so there’s a sort of scrambling to figure out what I can and should focus on and what I need to pause working on. And having to stop what’s being worked on to immediately address some new feedback or requests from higher up add to that.
-Relatedly, a lot of projects are very dependent on other people reacting or responding or contributing and so there’s either constant checking in and asking for things or things getting cancelled and needing to be rescheduled. For example, one of the senior leadership we’ve been trying to meet with for like 3-4 weeks now and every time realizes there’s a conflict with the new proposed time and so it gets pushed off to the next week or so (when they finally respond, that is). This member of leadership is also in the division with some of the biggest capacity and staffing and process issues and the meeting is specifically about us working with them and their team(s) to try to address those exact problems which makes it even more frustrating.
-People keep waiting or delaying things in order to get things as perfect and the people gathered as full as possible, so that even if there’s a meeting where 6-7 of the 10 people total invited are available, with two particular people not being available throws it off to needing to reschedule. And that group of 10 was expanded (not by me but by people forwarding the meeting invite to others not intended or expected) so that the actual core group of people needed are all available.
-Some group projects I’ve been working on have not been prioritized or fully worked by other people compared to the work I’ve put in, and so things we’ve been trying to complete with them haven’t been able to happen (like submission by specific deadlines or having specific milestones met re: work progress) and I’ve also stepped up more and done more with these projects because of that so I’m even more resentful and irritated. Combined with the fact that there was little guidance or structure provided with many of them to begin with and how much they’ve morphed and grown, and it’s made me lose a lot of enthusiasm and engagement.
-Both my supervisor and the overall team director can work remotely but it’s hit or miss if they remember to let people know in advance (the overall director is really bad about that) and so meetings or presentations that were scheduled for in-person have to be either shifted to factor in remote capability or moved to another day and time. And the amount of checking in or updates or work that gets done decreases and responses are difficult to get, regardless of whether they’re emailed or sent via teams chat. Additionally, if I’m the only person on my team in the office, people come to me about shit that at least half the time I can’t answer or address or don’t know anything about.
-People overbook themselves or get pulled into meetings and requests, either intentionally or inadvertently, but it means that things take forever to happen and a huge amount of time is spent having to juggle and balance schedules and people are hesitant to meet or discuss things if such-and-such a person isn’t present, even if the purpose of the meeting is to just discuss and prepare for a future meeting or next steps where such-and-such can be included or is available. Literally every time I have to schedule something it’s a minimum of 10 minutes looking for available times and keeping a particular timeframe or deadline in mind.
Anyway, those are the frustrations and disappointments. My next steps are to figure out how to adapt and not get too irritated and to seek equilibrium.
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strscrossed · 10 months
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not an attack on you by any means but bc I see you talking about it on twitter 😭
the rachel zegler’s comments that have been going wild online have been so cherry picked and while I understand where your frustration comes from seeing them they’re just not the full story
I’m not a fan of her but I do enjoy disney movies and she’s constantly talked about how her favorite part of snow whites character is that she’s kind and caring towards every walk of life bc it’s just innate to who the character is and how good it feels to embody that
I just find it a shame that out of all the interviews she’s done about loving the sweet persona and goodness of the character those few messy comments were the ones to go viral :,)
objectively fuck that movie bc gal gadots ass but seeing the hate train being focused towards rachel for promoting what the movie is now going to to be about even when she herself has full understanding of who the character is
yeah tbh I’m not here for the hate against rachel zegler because she has no control over the script or anything like that. I do know the latino community have good reasons to hate or criticize her but that’s really not my place to comment on. I have seen the stuff about her enjoying playing the character and that’s great.
but I’m still irked in general not because of this particular but the whole disdain for wanting true love and wanting to be a leader instead. it’s sort of this one specific brand of female empowerment that drives me crazy and regardless of everything else, i don’t like what she said in those clips. I’m not hating on her but I am criticizing what she said in those clips because I criticize this sort of rhetoric in general. she can be a leader. she can have love too. she doesn’t have to deny herself anything.
I think I’m also so over live action remakes as a fan of the animated movies tbh. although I am so excited for September 6 because the little mermaid live action is coming to disney plus!
also yes, aside from my irritation with media in general, gal gadot is in this movie and that alone had me already not wanting to watch it. and people saying that they will to piss off racists or whatever, well you’re supporting a zionist when you watch this…
anyway sorry about this rant. this whole thing makes me a little annoyed for various reasons so I’ve said my piece.
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2022 MOVIE OF THE WEEK #22
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downton abbey: a new era. i’m desperately behind on movie reviews! time to catch up. so the funny thing about this movie, for me, is that my lone family member who had seen all of downton abbey told me that she hadn’t liked the first movie afterwards, and so she wanted to know my opinion once i saw this one. i actually loved both the show and the first movie, so i wondered why she felt that way, and learned later that it was because she found it an unnecessary addition to the series after the series ended well.
but i loved the first movie! because it was full of staff hijinks and violet passing her legacy to mary and thomas got a little bit of gay happiness. for me, the thomas bit in particular felt like an addition to his arc that he deserved before the story was over, so i was glad that movie happened. 
so then i went happily along into this movie...and felt exactly about it as she had felt about the first one, lol. there were parts i really liked, and it was nice to see them all again, but it didn’t add anything really important to the story except for a major character death that broke my heart on my own behalf and that of other characters.
there’s a possible parentage scandal that trails off into unimportance, mary doesn’t have an affair the movie wants us to think will happen, the two remaining staff members who haven’t married each other finally commit, and the staff get to dress up as fake upper class folks. but the stakes just feel so...low, in a way they didn’t to me before. even the truly sad-to-watch character death was heavily foreshadowed in the previous movie, so we never actually needed to see it. 
the most upsetting part for me, though, was thomas’s storyline in this movie. the movie’s ultimate message is, ‘look, thomas is getting a happy ending too! we didn’t forget him!’ sure, they took away the man he got to kiss and enjoy in the last movie, but now there’s dominic west to invite him to come to america and be his life partner with whatever title he wants.
what drove me crazy about this is that a) the two don’t so much as hold hands in the entire movie, because apparently downton abbey’s conservative creator exhausted his ability to let the gays visibly exist in movie one or something--so it’s really hard to understand why thomas would want to be with this guy he’s barely met and may or may not have chemistry with. b) he literally just met him!! and what the guy is offering him is the exact same deal he was trying to secure through blackmail IN THE VERY FIRST EPISODE!! 
why would playing staff to his lover for the rest of his life, going back to the very least he once thought he deserved, be what thomas wanted now? when c) he made it to the head position he coveted all along and is finally respected in it!! he doesn’t have any safety net in america, we’ve never even heard him express a desire to go there before, but he’s perfectly happy to throw away the life he actually has built to go with a man who could leave him destitute at any moment if he felt like it--because what guarantee in that time and that situation would thomas even have that he’d be safe if his new benefactor’s feelings waned or changed? 
clearly that irritated me, lol. the acting was as delightful as ever, though. just hearing the theme and seeing the estate loom large again gave me feelings. i didn’t hate it as a movie, and i would watch it again, happily. it was just the only installment that left me feeling like i didn’t need it, and the world would’ve ended quite well if it had done so with the previous film.
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josiebelladonna · 2 years
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okay, so not only is there a whole generation of tumblrs on here that have never posted anything, but there’s a whole subset of said tumblrs who use the default icon for their pfp. nevermind looking like a spam account for a second, are you telling me that this current generation of tumblrs is so invisible and blending into the background and they don’t even know it (nor do they seem to care because i keep seeing posts about this and it tells me that nothing is being done) that there is no sign whatsoever of their individuality, something that i’m really starting to feel inclined towards over all of the groupthink that i’ve been seeing a lot of as well?
i might be overselling but we’re supposed to be beating the algorithms and all things inhuman, especially when our ape bodies can barely keep up. seeing real people with accounts that readily pass off as spam accounts and spam accounts running amok, it’s so easy to slip into dystopian thoughts.
it’s going to come to a point where self-expression of any kind will be the exception rather than the rule. hell, we’re already on our way—we’re practically sprinting there. between this and bullshit cop-outs like “I am not an artist” and every other band fic looking identical to one another…
i’m glad that tumblr is allowing mature content on here again, i really am, because i love drawing naked boys in particular, and my heart always sings when i see kinks and explicit fic.
problem is, i have to actually look for it in the fic tags as well as the art tags again: it’s not like ao3 where it’s right in my face upon logging in. i have to dig and i kind of don’t want to because i have stuff to do, fics to write, drawings to draw.
otherwise, it’s all so safe and sanitary, like… not only do we have a whole generation of blank clones who treat this place and ao3 like just another social media hub, but you have a whole batch of people referred to as “content creators” (not artists, not writers, content creators—see my whole thing with that from the other day, you’ll understand why i use this) who treat this place and ao3 like just another social media hub and their shit like it’s going to be bought and sold. and as a result, true expression goes out the window, and someone like me is becoming more and more of a sitting duck.
i have no problem with g-rated content per se: i’ve been reading some brilliant g-rated fics in the literature and theater tags on ao3, but you know what makes them good and memorable, compared to the mass influx of ____ x reader and g-rated fics i’ve been seeing in literally every single band tag? you can feel the love. you can tell that they’re a fan and they aren’t just there because they think it’s cool or the latest thing, or they’re sanitizing the hell out of it when it’s ao3, dude, there’s no reason for it: the g-rated fics i’ve read are rated g because their fic idea warrants it. i see it (or the mature rating) in rpf and it almost always feels like they’re afraid given the controversial nature of rpf—almost. now it’s dark was rated mature, as was iron & wine, and that was because they were actual stories rather than smut-fests and i rated them accordingly. but you can tell that the author is a fan of the book or the cartoon or the play or whatever it is, so they feel more honest, like they let their hair down more. they’re a little more fearless in an odd way, too: as much of a hang-up as i have with the phrase “be yourself”, it’s always relieving to witness it before me and it makes me wish for it more in rpf. being yourself is so hard, especially now, and i want more of it.
i think that’s another thing that really irritates me about the whole ____ x reader trope, too: you make it about everyone as well as yourself, and as a result, it winds up looking like nothing (the rating becomes moot at that point, too).
i’m missing that fannish feel big time, and on here, especially. and it’s not only heartbreaking but terrifying, too. another kid who’ll never be true to herself and trumps that for fitting in and looking cool. another kid who makes her whole shtick cutesy and cottagecore and old-fashioned and there’s just something off about it. another kid who refuses to explore herself—like, really explore and audit herself—and what might tickle her fancy out of fear of looking like a creep, or she ends up like the green druidess and brags about her sexuality ad nauseam to the point of looking incredibly corny. another kid who screams and clutches at herself at the slightest mention of shipping, fanfic’s bread and butter. 
what the fuck.
i want to have faith in the future—after the election results started coming in yesterday, i had a whole helping of hope and faith—but then i come on tumblr, and i’m reminded that i’m walking amongst a whole generation of ghosts rather than tumblr girls, and i really want to know who’s to blame here, too, so maybe the problem can in fact have a solution.
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cld-n · 2 years
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i totally agree with you. it seemed contrived and conceited. this isn’t going to be too related to her vanity fair profile in particular but a general observation. i felt like everyone was trying to convince me she’s a game changer. an excellent director that deserves endless praise but nobody could provide me a good reason why. her status as a female director alone is not compelling enough for me because her work so far has brought nothing new to the table. not that I expect some sort of genius from her but she doesn’t have anything that sets her apart from the rest even small hints here and there that would signal some originality. I know it’s only her second project and it’s not even out yet but you can understand the artistic characteristics of a lot of directors from their directorial debuts. in olivia’s case it was booksmart and i wasn’t personally impressed. it felt like every other comedy/coming of age movie rebranded for a 2019 audience and her radical change of genre from that to whatever dwd is seemed bold at first but looking at the results, very haphazard. it’s like she’s jumping on whatever that’s trendy at the time hoping it would work therefore her whole career and this reasoning behind why olivia wilde is so wonderful and revolutionary seems like it stems from a sense of entitlement and complacency. on a personal level her activism and feminism feels the same. she has proven time and time again that her branch of feminism is white feminism. with dwd she had the opportunity to tell a very rich and complex story that tackles with power dynamics and gender roles but she did this in the most shallow and uninspiring way possible. (yes I’ve read the whole spoilers on the internet and I honestly don’t regret it.) overall i feel like she’s constantly punching above her weight by claiming to be something she isn’t and/or will not be putting the work for. she would do great if she’d let go of all the self proclaimed titles and just did her job since that’s ultimately why she’s being pushed so hard right now. male directors do this or that so why can’t she. male directors are not doing extraordinary work and yet get praises and financial support so why can’t she. and finally the whole “i’m so tough” speech she gave in that interview felt so forced as if she’s trying to convince herself more than anyone else and i understand it because she never dealt with this amount of fame and attention before and she’s not particularly seen in a good light. what’s irritating is that she’s pulling this attitude against valid criticism on her own actions so it doesn’t come off as badass as it does to her. it just feels like she’s deflecting against criticism by being unreasonably obstinate. one positive thing i can say about her is that she makes bold choices. i’m sorry this was so long and maybe unintelligible at parts. english is not my first language.
ok first off, your english is really great 😊 and i'm so sorry i only just got to this
I didn’t really get to finish her profile cos it read across as like… like if you’re not in tune in film community circles or it’s not really like an interest beyond just watching films and going to the movies, then yeah you’d maybe find what she says to be somewhat credible I guess (?) but a lot of it was just bull, like plain bs with a few red flags raised (might go into that later)
But yeah I agree, I get that vibe too. And her rep as a director isn’t compelling for me either. Like having the connections to get profiles and interviews aside, the way they write about Booksmart as if it did for film what Frank Ocean’s Channel Orange did for music was just like a real far cry, and it’s kinda sad that rhetorically her pieces come across like her being a woman inherently gives her game changing status as a director when really she’s done nothing to contribute to shaping the kinds of stories and films we get to see today yk?
Your Directorial debuts comment exactly, like I think of Julia Ducourneau’s Raw and how much controversy it caused and the backlash she got, but it did establish her voice as a filmmaker as it showed us her style and the kind of stories she wanted to tell, that Raw eventually did pave space for certain types of stories to be told and shared. Booksmart doesn’t have that impact, cos idk it seemed to, just like with dwd, serve a more entrepreneurial purpose more than anything but that’s just me. Even the language she uses around her process and approach is quite hollow? When she chooses to focus on the like look of a film rather than the main point or the key themes to the stories she’s supposed to tell Idk I just feel like her reputation as a director is to offer a white woman version of what male filmmakers are known for? Like Booksmart was supposedly the female equivalent to an appatow film, in some ways dwd is painted as this like woman’s version of a Jordan Peele film (which in many ways is wrong lol idk)
She definitely subscribes to choice feminism or performative at best. (it very much leans toward awful double agent for the patriarchy tbh) I still remember someone’s tweet about how she turns a celebration of women into fawning praise of men and like that’s sorta pretty much it, somehow her feminism is always tied to the affirmations of or from other men to place her in a certain place or echelon. (Low key it was a red flag there weren’t other like women directing peers included in her profiles/interviews apart from maggie but tbh that was a trainwreck though right?) Idk if I got to that part in the profile but I can see that, like a making it out like she’s above it but really sorta right?
But yeah, there was a part in the profile where she said she was like a troll magnet and I thought like, what a way to avoid valid criticism for your shitty decisions and actions right? Like “oh I they just like to poke fun at me” no dummy omg like i can see it sometimes but to lump even the criticism with it is just so.... ? yk?
sorry I tied a lot of what you said back to the profile but this is just my long winded way of saying I agree with a lot of what you said and think lol but again your English is incredible 😊
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unhingedselfships · 1 year
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Making his way absently into the office, Kadokura carelessly pushed through the door.
He wanted to get a few things done ahead of time, clear his upcoming schedule a little.
Open up a bit more free time.
Spotting the woman standing in the should-have-been-empty room, his steps hesitated a moment. 
Kimi?
What was she-
It was odd, normally someone informed him she was here.
… Had she slipped in unnoticed somehow?
Whatever. No matter. Sure, he hadn’t been expecting her, and it was odd seeing her without the newest little one.
The kid would have been what, four months now? Three? Something like that. He knew the little brat didn’t much like anyone but her, so it was odd to see them apart.
But it's not like she was unwelcome.
She turned to look at him, and something uncomfortable crawled faintly up his spine.
She didn’t look at him like that when she wasn’t… reacting, to his… mood.
That very particular brand of dazed.
His stomach churned uncomfortably.
“Kenshi,” she breathed out his name and suddenly he resented how it sounded.
What had happened?
Had something, someone, else set her off?
He ignored the distant irritation that anyone else might be able to do this to her.
This was his right.
There was a quiet moment, hardly a handful of heartbeats, but enough for him, now on high alert and studying, to spot the difference.
She was certainly dazed, floating, but there was an edge of something hysteric and desperate to her.
She didn't just tremble, she twitched. Her wide eyes weren't just reverent, they were pained.
Something was happening, but he didn't know what, and he hated not knowing.
Perhaps a bit more terse than he needed to be, he addressed her, “What did you need, Kimi-san?”
She blinked at him, and took a hesitant step forward. Then another. Before quickly closing the gap. All but throwing herself forward, and burying her face against him.
Well, that was annoying. And maybe a bit concerning. 
Just a little.
“What-”
She cut him off with a gasp, “Please!” 
Plaintive. Whiney. Needy.
“I- I want,” a deep ragged breath, “I need-”
With a scoff he cut her off, pushing her back by the shoulders, “Now now, I never expected this out of you, Kimi-san. What, you get it once, and decide it wasn’t enough for you? Well that’s just too bad isn’t i-”
“No!” she interrupted him with a cry, “That isn’t- I don’t-”
Her eyes were wilder than usual, something almost manic sparking in them.
“Spit it out,” he all but hissed.
“Not- I don’t want- Anyone. Someone, I- ” she abruptly stopped speaking, looking dazed, Distressed.
He huffed a laugh, “What? Did you come here hoping I would, what? Orchestrate your infidelity?”
He was beyond confused, and that annoyance flickering in his chest only grew sharper.
Shaking her head, her face a mess of conflict.
“What did you do to me?” she sounded lost.
Narrowing his eyes at her with a sharp sneer, “No, princess, you don’t get to blame whatever,” he gestured wildly, “This, is, on me.”
“But- I… Please. I need- I don’t want this! But it hurts! I nee-”
“You really think I give a shi-”
“I need to make someone hurt.”
Barely a whisper, and he froze.
Oh. Oh.
“I-” she choked on her own words, pained conflict playing over her “It hurts. I want- I don’t-, I just- I need to-” she spoke in fits and starts, too agitated to complete a thought, “I want to ki-” she choked, almost literally.
She gazed up at him from under wet lashes, fearful and aching, gasping “I want to kill someone.”
She shook harder.
"I feel like I'm coming out of my skin."
Her fingers dug into her forearms where she held herself, tracing marks over old scars.
"I can't- I need it to stop. It won't- Why won't it stop?"
Her lower lip trembled, fear, desperation, playing across her features.
"I need it."
Her wide, dark eyes overflowed.
“I’m so scared, Kenshi. What’s happening to me?”
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moemoemammon · 3 years
Note
The other brothers laugh at mammon for getting beaten up/hurt until they see MC nursing him back to health are like "Wait a minute...."
Mammon, You Bastard-!
(Feat. GN!MC and the Demon Bros)
✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦ ✦
Lucifer
Per usual, Mammon had the audacity to think he could get away with stealing a record from Lucifer's room to be sold. And per usual, he got his ass beat for it.
But what wasn't expected was what happened after. It's not unheard of for Mammon to go crawling off to the closest person to sympathize with him, and that's usually you.
You today.... Mammon was ACTUALLY getting spoiled. Lucifer had the misfortune of watching you gently dab at all of the new scrapes and bruises, all while Mammon acted like an overgrown child.
It isn't like he'd stoop so low that he’d want to be coddled in that way, but something about that smug look on Mammon's face made him wanna shake him around like a rag doll.... So instead, he'll just abuse his authority for a bit.
"Mammon, come with me. It seems you haven't learned your lesson, judging from that look on your face. The garden could use some tending to, the tub needs to be scrubbed, and there's a recent test score of yours I'd like to discuss."
Mammon
MC, you've gotta hear him out! See, he wasn't doing anything really bad per se... He just wanted to dust off that particular record of Lucifer's! And now he's all beaten up for it, so comfort him 🥺
Somehow you buy into his baby act (to his surprise), and now he's got his head on your lap while you comb your fingers through his hair. If this is what getting beat up gets him, he's gotta do it more often!
He's actually feeling a little guilty for having you wrapped around his finger like this, but... it feels too damned good to be spoiled! He deserves nice things too, damn it!
What makes the reward even sweeter is the look of irritation on the other brothers' faces when they see this special treatment he's receiving. He can't help but flash them a smug grin every time you respond to his ouch's and whimpers.
"O-Ow! Be a little gentler, will ya?! ...Sorry, I didn't mean it. But I'm really banged up, ya know? Lucifer didn't hold anything back, so I'll probably need EXTRA treatment...maybe a kiss or two, too..."
Levi
Oi. Shitty second-born.
That lap may be a forbidden land that Levi doesn't dare to touch, but there's no way he's letting it be soiled by trash! Why was Mammon of all people the one that got to live out such an amazing fantasy?!
You wanna see envy? Yeah, Levi is plotting Mammon's murder. He'll get someone he owes money to, right? Then he'll make it look like an accident when he-
No... He'll reveal every bad things he's ever done that's been kept a secret! He'll blackmail him! He's telling Lucifer everything about the time his D.D.D. was thrown in the trash! Who cares if it's petty?! This is WAR!!
"Mammon you SCUM! This is UNFORGIVABLE!! That secret stash of mocha devil pudding you've been hiding?! I'm gonna tell Beel all about it so he'll eat it! And when I'm done with that, I'm gonna show Lucifer what happened to his you-know-what!! And, and-!"
Satan
Satan is an expert at controlling his emotions. There's nothing that can break his facade of endless calm. He's a pillar of relaxation, he's a master of meditation, he's the epitome of a sound mind, he's-
Hey. Did Mammon grin just now? That was a grin, wasn't it?
Mammon's gonna need more than MC therapy after this, because Satan is already grabbing him by the head. There's no need for a older brother who can't even tend to his own wounds, right?
So it should be fine if he vanishes under mysterious circumstances! His brothers (minus Lucifer) seem to agree, and that's a majority consensus.
"Hm, you seem awfully lively for someone who was 'nearly killed back there', like you said. It's almost as if you're not hurt at all. Why don't you put this head of yours to better use and think up a way to stop being a nuisance?"
Asmo
Hey! The only one that's allowed to be dramatic in order to win the affection and adoration of others is HIM. Not gross Mammon!
Asmo's not going to let a guy like that get over on him! Not in a million years! No one can beat Asmo at his own game!
So what does he do? He hides around the corner to get into character, then the next thing you know he's running toward you at full speed, tears streaming down his cheeks.
He literally smacks Mammon out of your lap and buries his face into it instead, arms folded over while he sobs as if his lover had gone off and died in the war.
"MC, my darling MC! It's terrible! Completely AWFUL! I don't think even I can recover from this..! Why do such terrible things happen to beautiful, adorable, wonderful Asmo?? Boo hoo.... you have to come to my room right away so I can tell you what happened!" (Plot twist: he 'forgets' what happened as soon as he gets you in his room.)
Beel
Beel didn't really think anything was out of the ordinary at first. Mammon always runs to you when something's wrong. He's kind of a crybaby in that way.
So it takes his other brothers pointing it out for him to realize..... Hey, something's going on-
That look on Mammon's face starts looking less like a pained grimace, and more like a wide, smug grin. Beel understands now.... he's taking advantage of MC!
You're so kind so it's obvious Mammon would try to prey on that! And he's getting his snot and tears all over your legs, too.
It's annoying.
"Levi, you said something about mocha devil pudding, right? Show me where it is. I'm going to eat it right away, and whatever else he's hiding."
Belphie
Hey... who the hell does Mammon think he is? That lap is Belphie's designated nap spot. Everyone knows that.
Now it's being tainted by his gross older brother germs, and that's absolutely unforgivable. And the fact that he's being a bastard about it makes it even more annoying.
Belphegor won't admit that he's jealous of course, so he's going to be a gremlin instead. He's got more subtlety than his brothers.
When Mammon goes to find Goldie and doesn't know where it is? That'll be Belphie's doing. When his bed is covered in the stickiest royal jelly in the Devildom? Belphie. When he wakes up to find himself all tied up next to Cerberus? Belphie.
"Hm? Mammon hasn't come to take you shopping yet? I don't know anything about that. Why don't you and I go together? There's something I want to buy at Majolish. And we can take a nap afterward, okay?"
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snackhobi · 3 years
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min yoongi is the best shot in the business. you’re the best gunsmith in the city and the only person he trusts to programme his tech; to make his gear. 
he likes your work. it’s a shame, then, that he doesn’t like you.
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pairing: yoongi x f!reader / word count: 14.3k / genre + rating: NSFW (18+), cyberpunk!au, smut, frenemies (?) to lovers
warnings/etc: hitman!yoongi. black market dealer/gunsmith!reader. cursing/explicit language. whole lotta tension, sexual and otherwise. mentions of injury/violence. minor character death (no one important, don’t worry, this isn’t an angst fic). brief hurt/comfort. reader has tattoos. sexually explicit content. oral; fingering; multiple orgasms; overstimulation (f). unprotected sex (please take the necessary precautions irl). rough sex?. choking. creampie. brief mention of aftercare. I think that’s everything but please lmk if I missed any!
a/n: thank you SO MUCH to both @hobi-gif​ and @morndas​ for beta reading this and being so supportive, ily both so much and I owe you my life 🤧💕 as always what was meant to be a short fic turned into a huge one. also this is technically for my 1.1k milestone but it’s a billion years late, oops!​
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Yoongi really doesn’t like you.
You’re loud. Cocky. Arrogant. You needle him all the time, dig your fingernails in and squeeze, revelling in the way he sets his jaw, the muted spark of irritation in his eyes. You bat your eyelashes and tilt your head, throw it back whenever you laugh and reveal the easing column of your throat, dragging each interaction out with a kind of sadistic pleasure that has him gritting his teeth. Because you love annoying him, getting under his skin, tapping your fingers against the soft swell of your bottom lip as you eye him up, taking your time before you speak.
Infuriating. You’re infuriating and you know it.
It’s unfortunate, really, because you’re unavoidable. 
Jungkook had asked, once, why Yoongi doesn’t just go elsewhere. They’re more than familiar with the underbelly of this heaving city, underneath all the neon lights and shimmering holograms and towering skyscrapers and legal tech; the scuttling seams of back alley traders and illegal goods, tech or otherwise. There are plenty of black market dealers, after all, plenty of other vendors he could go to to get the equipment he wants. Plenty of other skilled crafters, artificers, artisans, people who would be more than happy to create the things that Yoongi asks for, that he needs. People who can get their hands on anything you want. For a price.
Yoongi’s answer had been short and succinct.
“She’s the best there is,” he’d said, and that had been that.
Because it’s true. You might be exasperating, maddening, laughing in Yoongi’s face where others might cower or genuflect, but no one is as good as you. All of Yoongi’s gear has been crafted by you; each and every single one of his weapons, his tech, the headpiece that fits so perfectly around the back of his skull that Yoongi often forgets that it’s there, hidden in his hair, unfolding across his eyes whenever he lines up a shot to make the kill—there’s evidence of your work across every inch of his body, hidden away under his clothes, day in, day out. Even when he’s not on a contract Yoongi never leaves anything to chance. 
(A walking armoury, Namjoon had called him once.)
(You’d phrased it differently.
You’re always packing, hmm? you’d hummed, rapping your fingernails in a steady beat as you’d leaned back in your chair, smiling with teeth. There was laughter in your words and your gaze, no attempt made to hide your amusement, but after your goading you’d made him a collapsible sword anyway. It’s a beautiful thing, this folding blade, bristling with plasma and energy if Yoongi needs it, lethal and deadly. One of his most prized possessions, something that’s gotten him out of multiple corners, and he owes it—you—his life.)
There’s no one on par with you. You’re a Renaissance woman, a fiercely talented polymath who doesn’t need to rely on anyone else to create the things you create. Low-tech, high-tech, no tech—you make everything from scratch, programme things yourself, hunched over each project in your own workshop with nothing but your mind and your own two hands.
It’s the only reason he puts up with you and your antics, the sharp jibes, the shameless flirting; you’re the most infuriating person he knows, but there’s no one else he would trust with the work that you do.
Unfortunately.
Which is why Yoongi finds himself here, again and again, as familiar with this studio as you are—he watches you work, sometimes, watches you sketch up blueprints and drag your fingers across your array of displays, your world cast in shifting shades of cyan and electric blue from all the tech in here, humming and alive. He likes to see how his equipment is made, after all. It can mean the difference between life and death. He takes this seriously.
It’s the one time you might be quiet. Might be quiet, because you still talk even when you work; flick your gaze between Yoongi and whatever’s set in front of you, that ever present smile spread across your lips, smug and amused. You’re only silent during the hardest jobs. Like right now, you’re intense and focused, a furrow dug between your brows as you survey his sniper rifle—almost shorn in two. (It had been the only thing to hand when he’d had to block a blow from a guard he’d somehow overlooked, no time to draw any other weapons before they’d started to brawl.)
You’d been unimpressed. You’d raised your eyebrows with all the severity of a disappointed mother, bitten words out at him with molten snideness, dripping heat and snark.
“It’s a gun, Yoongi. A gun. You know, something you shoot with? Pew pew? Blammo? I’m not sure what sort of shields and body armour you’ve seen in the past but this isn’t either of those things. Do you want me to sketch some diagrams up for you? Or maybe I could write you a book. Baby’s First Arsenal, Chapter One: The Difference Between Things That Are Guns And Things That Aren’t. Would that be helpful?”
No one else talks to Yoongi like that. No one else would dare. It’s only a rare few that know his birth name and it’s not often that he hears it, more used to the sound of Agust D falling off people’s lips. But that had been part of your price, part of the agreement when he’d first met you and asked for your services: his real name.
Yoongi had let it wash over him, had endured your tongue-lashing before putting the gun down with a heavy finality and thrust it over at you, tired of all your talk.
“Just fix it,” he’d demanded.
You’d laughed in his face.
“As always, your bedside manner leaves something to be desired,” you’d said, taking the rifle from him.
The D-2 Shadow isn’t just a weapon. It’s a piece of art, clean edges and slick lines, and Yoongi is grateful to have it back in his hands. There’s no other sniper rifle like it, made of super lightweight alloy and easy to handle; thermal scope, enhanced stabilisers for accuracy; superior kinetic coils for better shot penetration. Yoongi had asked for the best and you’d delivered. Gone above and beyond, crafted a weapon the likes of which no one else possesses, modified in ways other people can’t even fathom.
And you’d fixed it when he'd almost let it get destroyed. Made it better than new, even, layered it in more alloy to make it stronger without making it heavier, a new material of your own design. If he hadn’t known you as well as he does he’d have worried that it was beyond repair, knows that other gunsmiths would have taken one look at its crumpled body and shaken their heads, but you hadn’t. 
Of course you hadn’t. You never do.
You charge him a pretty penny for your work, make him pay through the nose for everything he asks of you, but Yoongi is more than willing to do so. More than capable of paying, coffers lined with more money than he might need, one of the best contract killers there is—the real price he pays is with his sanity, worn away each time you open your mouth. He can’t help but rise to your bait, as derisive as you are; it’s only the smallest things, a sharpness to his otherwise even tone, an angry spark in his eyes, but you pick up on it all.
He’s not your only customer. You don’t extend your services to many, only to the people you want to—Yoongi’s not sure what set of harebrained criteria you have that lets you choose who you’ll sell to and who you won’t but he can’t make heads nor tails of it. He knows he’s not part of your clientele because he’s got the credits to pay, nor is it because he’s one of the most highly regarded hitmen in his line of business. 
You don’t just choose people who can afford to pay or people who have a level of power and influence in this dark underworld you inhabit. You really don’t care about those things. You just pick and choose on a whim.
(Once, back when he’d first met you, Yoongi had discovered that you’d concocted an entirely new security system—practically incapable of being hacked, crawling with tech, a level of complexity even the richest elites could barely afford—for some small artist who’d worried that their paintings might get stolen. He was an unknown at the time, this V, squirrelled away in one of the dark corners in the lowest levels of the city, and you’d all but given him some of the best work you’d ever done, undercharged him something chronic.
You’d shrugged when Yoongi had asked why.
“He makes me laugh,” you’d replied.)
Yoongi isn’t your only customer but he’s certainly the only one you seem to treat the way you do. There’s a level of irreverence in everything you do, self-confidence settled across every inch of you like the obnoxious stench of a teenage boy’s body spray, but you seem to take particular pleasure in Yoongi’s displeasure. He’d brought Namjoon along, once, inquiring after an imitation greenhouse, how someone might set up the tech to raise tropical plants that wouldn’t survive otherwise (mostly above board, even; Namjoon might grow illicit plants, poisonous and prohibited, but he likes pretty flowers, too). And there had been none of the mocking that Yoongi receives. None of the wind ups. You’d been pleasant, despite your incessant snark, agreeing to take the job with a smile on your face that Yoongi never gets given.
(It had been infuriating, to know that you’re capable of not being an ass, but you just choose not to be. For fun.)
Yoongi really, really doesn’t like you, but he respects your work. Respects you, even if he’d never admit it out loud.
You keep your word. You don’t supply his competitors, although you claim it’s not loyalty to him and it’s only because they can’t pay as well as he does—winnings go to the highest bidder, you’d said sagely, as obtuse and irritating as always. 
But Yoongi knows other sellers will provide anyone who’s willing to pay, freelancers who peddle their wares regardless of affiliation or alliances. You’re beholden to no one and yet Yoongi knows you would never double cross him. Never supply anyone who challenges his work, even if they have the money, even if he’s on good terms with them (it’s not personal, it’s business; Yoongi has no issue with other hired killers as long as they stay out of his way). He knows he can rely on you, which is something to be treasured in these back-crossing back-stabbing backstreets.
So when he makes his way to your door, the details of a new contract still fresh in his mind, he instantly comes to a stop.
There’s something off. He can tell immediately, years of instinct causing the hairs on the back of his neck to rise, every part of him on edge. Everything looks normal, is normal, but there’s a burning in his gut that has Yoongi’s finger itching for the trigger even though there’s nothing to shoot. 
You’ve granted him the privilege of access to your workshop, to the other rooms, entered the scans of his hand and eye and voice into the security systems, keep him updated on the varying passwords you cycle through, so he can enter whenever he needs to. 
(He’s woken you up on more than one occasion, roused you from sleep for last minute supplies before he leaves for another contract, appearing in the dead of night like a spectre of death, clothing dark and eyes darker, overflowing with weaponry. A looming silhouette edged in strokes of cyan and magenta from the ever present, low-level neon light in your room, so much darker than the bright lights of your workshop. Intimidating. 
And you always just roll your eyes and sigh and tell him to keep a better eye on his cache of equipment and climb out of bed for him. You’re so at odds to him in your sleep rumpled clothing and mussed hair, still unafraid even when he’s fully geared and ready to kill; shirt slipping off your shoulder, swathes of bare skin in the place of Yoongi's all-encompassing outfit, shimmering black light tattoos visible on your legs and arms and bare skin of your collarbones, geometric lines in the palest of blues and greens. You hand over whatever he needs and tell him the creds he owes you.
“I’ve already given you a key to my apartment and you haven’t even taken me for dinner once,” you sigh—dramatic and melodramatic—even as you hand over a bundle of crossbow bolts. The synthesised toxin inside the darts is your own concoction, of course, courtesy of the plant matter provided from Namjoon’s greenhouse.
“I’d literally rather be shot in the head than willingly spend time with you,” he replies.
“You wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid,” you say, and just laugh in the face of his unimpressed deadpan. As insufferable as always.)
So he doesn’t need your permission to enter. He’s silent, light-footed as he makes his way inside, scanning each inch of this familiar interior; nothing’s wrong, not yet, but Yoongi can sense something in the air. Something heavy, settled bitter on his tongue, coating the back of his throat.
And then he walks into your workshop.
You’re meticulous. Even when you’re overrun with gear, with parts that have yet to be used, everything has its place. You prefer paper over datapads, too, tack sheets of designs and notes up on the wall, have clipboards and stacks of sheets set neatly in their place, a throwback to a time before tech ruled everything. Yoongi knows the layout of this room as well as he knows his own home, a mental map of straight lines and unwavering coordinates with you in the centre of it all.
Upheaval. Those neat lines of organised cartography have been pulled apart. Ham-handed work, to be sure, more of a statement than anything else; intent to instil fear rather than to destroy (although, Yoongi sees now that one of the monitors has been smashed, display sparking white and blue as it bleeds out electricity.). Even in the darkness of the room—overhead lights off and only emergency lighting on, painting things in shades of dark crimson and pink—Yoongi can tell that whichever interlopers have done this are already gone. The room is empty.
Then the sound of a clatter breaks the silence and Yoongi’s already got his pistol out, drawn without a thought as he approaches the sound that comes from the back room, fleet-footed and silent as he raises the gun and rounds the corner—
And sees you at the end of the barrel.
There’s a first aid kit on the floor. Packs of medi-gel and rolls of bandages and other supplies scattered around your feet. You haven’t even spotted Yoongi yet, in despair at the mess in front of you; he’s never seen you like this, never seen anything other than your veneer of enraging smugness and never-ending energy.
“Y/n?” 
You flinch even as your head snaps around, eyes wide—but the second you see Yoongi you visibly relax, even though he’s still holding a gun in your direction.
There’s a bruise blossoming across your left cheek.
“Ah, Yoongi.” The smile that paints itself across your lips is almost convincing despite the dark flower that’s unfolding on your skin, blood rising to the surface and painting it in hues of pain; you wince, a little, when the smile makes your wound ache. Soldier onwards as you act as though nothing is wrong. “I know you’re always desperate for my attention but do you mind giving me a second? I’m kind of indisposed at the moment.”
Yoongi’s lips are set in a thin line. He only has one question on his mind.
“Who did this to you?”
Your gaze flickers before you break eye contact, staring at the first aid supplies on the floor. “What, this? Have you never dropped something before?”
Yoongi ignores your deflection. It only takes a few moments to reholster the pistol, to step over to you, to grasp your chin and tilt your face towards him.
“Who did this to you?”
Yoongi’s tone is quiet and low, firm and undeniable. For the first time since he’s met you it seems as though you’re lost for words, lips parted around a silent sound of surprise as you’re subjected to the full force of Yoongi’s gaze, cutting through you; past every layer of self-inflated narcissism you put on, past every deflection you might make.
There's a beat of silence.
And then you slowly but irrevocably fold underneath the weight of his stare.
You let him lead you, sit you down, bowing to his hands and his directions. You’re silent throughout, lips an unfamiliar shape as they’re pulled down into the slightest of frowns. He’s only ever seen you smile, seen you laugh, self-assured. Never like this.
You seem surprised, startled when he sits across from you and cracks open a pack of medi-gel. Yoongi’s surprised too, although he doesn’t show it, lets his instincts take over and settles into auto-pilot as he reaches for your face. He’s never seen your eyes so round, so wide, watching the hand that descends on your cheek with all the single-minded intent of a man about to fillet a fish—careful and practiced but menacing, maybe. (He doesn’t like you but you don’t deserve to have been hurt and Yoongi can’t just stand by and not help.)
And you don’t shy away. You stare at him as he stares at his fingers, layers the gel evenly across the pain of your bruise, cool and soothing.
It’s only when he’s reached for more medi-gel and touched your cheek for the second time that you finally speak.
“It was one of the Tang cousins.”
Yoongi goes still, fingers resting across your skin, slick with purple gel. 
“One of the cousins?”
Yoongi doesn’t like you. But—and God knows what he did wrong in a previous life for this to be true—you’re one of his inner circle, one of the very, very few people he trusts. You’re not friends and he doesn’t like you, but he owes you, owes you a hundred times over, owes you for every successful kill, every silent infiltration, every averted detection. All thanks to your tech and the work you put into it for him. He’s indebted to you.
Yoongi always pays his debts.
“I didn’t even catch his name.” You sound dismissive. Normally you’d laugh, deride the person you’re speaking about, but instead you just sound tired. “One of the low down ones. New kid on the block; someone I didn’t recognise, with some lackeys or similar. Trying to make a name for himself, I think. He demanded that I build weapons for him. I said no.”
The Tang family is a big one, a criminal empire that has its tendrils dug in everywhere. You don’t deal with them, have no interest throwing your lot in with them intentionally or not; it’s a big, formidable family, but it’s not the only one around. You’d be dumb to get involved in that mess of generational, cross-family conflict. You’ll sell things to the highest bidder, shift illicit high-tech stock, build generic modifications that people can buy—but you don’t make bespoke weaponry for just anyone.
You don’t even sell to the heads of the Tang family directly, let alone to some back-alley sewer rat who probably barely has the faintest ties to the family, a single vein of Tang blood in his body, just enough to give him an in.
Whoever this cousin was he must be really fucking stupid to not know that. Stupid to think he could demand anything from you. Stupid to think he could hurt you when you laughed in his face and said no. Anyone with half a brain-cell should know not to fuck with you, know that it’s an honour to even be allowed inside your workshop, that to be told ‘no’ by you is a privilege.
Stupid to think that he wasn’t going to pay for that stupidity.
The pack of medi-gel is empty, the deflated pouch forgotten on Yoongi’s knee as he stares at you. The flecks of biomatter in the gel catch the light, sparkling like glitter in the lavender that’s seeping into your skin; all the surprise is gone from your eyes and instead you’re just watching him, stolid and steady. Analytical.
(You’re smart. Yoongi knows you are. For all that you talk shit and play foolish, he never forgets about that fierce intelligence. Never underestimates you or how perceptive you are. He only wonders what’s on your mind right now; what it is that you see in front of you.)
“Next time don’t let someone in unless you’re certain you’re going to sell to them.”
You scoff in his face. “Alright, Dad. Do you want to update my curfew while you’re at it? Make it ten p.m. instead of eleven?”
Yoongi blinks slowly. You’ve got both eyebrows raised, surveying him with a mixture of amusement and disbelief that he’s trying to tell you what to do (because no one tells you what to do; they wouldn't dare). But you don’t pull away, your knees still touching his, body bowed towards him from when he’d coaxed you closer so he could reach your face—so he knows you don’t mind. Not really.
(Knows you don’t care about anyone’s opinions or rules, only sticking to your own. The fact you’d been shaken from that place of confidence by some thug—even for a moment—doesn’t sit right in Yoongi’s belly. That bitter taste is back in his throat and it’s ice cold, icicles prickling through his blood.)
(He doesn’t like you but you’re one of his people and no one fucks with Yoongi’s people.)
The bruise is still there days later, after you’ve rearranged your workshop back to the way it was, sourced a new monitor to replace the one that was broken. You’re back to smirking, already ready for his request, more bullets for his weapons and super-charged plasma to recharge his sword, but the bruise is a stark reminder of what you’ve been through. So is, too, the new blueprint he spies half finished on your open displays: an automated security system that scans thermal signatures, guns unfolding from the ceiling whenever aggressive movement is detected from an unfamiliar person. Anyone who’s not listed as familiar in the security logs. 
(Yoongi used to wonder about that. Why you didn’t have security mechs set in place, programming their AI to protect you, but you don’t like to use mechs. Don’t like to use them, even if you could afford to build them, because you compare it to forced servitude. You’ve never needed them before now, anyway. Safe in your reputation, knowing that you’re in a position of power, that people come here because they know you’re the best of the best.)
(But it seems like you don’t trust that any more. Don’t feel safe.)
Yoongi keeps as silent as always, bites his tongue when you cut him off mid-sentence with nothing more than a raised finger.
“Ah, ah, ah,” you tut, wagging the finger back and forth like the slow pendulum of a grandfather clock. “No more crafting requests. I’m still working on the concentration mod you asked for and I’ll let you know when it’s ready. I don't rush for anyone. Patience is a virtue, baby. Did no one ever tell you that?”
“Don’t call me baby.”
“Okay, handsome.” Your reply is instant, unruffled, and Yoongi grits his teeth. 
But still. For all that you’re acting like normal, workshop set back into place, white lighting shining overhead, as neat and presentable as always—Yoongi can read uncertainty in the way you move. Discomfort. You don’t feel safe in your own space and it���s obvious, even if you don’t realise it.
“Come back any time,” you say coyly, and Yoongi, as always, ignores you. Transfers the creds he owes you in silence before he takes one last look at the bruise that’s still painted across your skin, dark eyes touching yours for the briefest moment before he turns and leaves.
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For the first time since you met, Yoongi buys from someone who isn’t you.
It’s not bad. Well made, decent tech, Predator pistol sitting easy in his hands when he brings it to the light and watches it unfold from its holstered state, the way plasma bursts to life in the barrel; weaker than bullets but easier to reload in the field. It’s no surprise that the Yeom family gets their stuff sourced from here. The body armour, too, isn’t bad, engraved with the family crest and cast in their colours.
It’s not bad, but it’s not as good as it could be. Not as good as Yoongi needs his tech to be, demands it to be—but quality doesn’t matter. Not today. He has a job to do.
It’s easy to find his mark. Scum gathers in stagnant water, in the dirtiest and dankest places, and this is where Yoongi finds Tang Lee. Finds him spilling beer and money in the backroom of some grimy strip club where the holograms flicker from age and the strippers are tired, trying their best to scrape a living from the seething riverbed of filth that runs underneath the bright neon lights of the skyscrapers in the levels above.
Lee isn’t alone but it’s so easy to take them out it’s laughable, men drunk from cheap alcohol; Yoongi catches one in a chokehold, smashes another’s face into the glass table with enough force it shatters, faces Lee once they’re the only two standing. The music outside is too loud and the room is sound proofed for privacy and so Yoongi isn’t interrupted as he brings Lee to his knees, thrusting his face into a smear of blood that drips from his now-broken nose, courtesy of a quick jab of Yoongi’s right fist.
It’s not a quick kill. It could be. Yoongi could have ended this in moments, caught Lee off guard and ended his miserable life almost effortlessly—but he doesn’t. He takes his time, makes it count, teaches him a lesson, has Lee on his hands and knees as he sobs out apologies and snivels for mercy before he takes the pistol and blows his brains out. Yoongi doesn’t feel sorry for the man, eyes the body impassively, not even worth his disgust—he only feels sorry for whoever finds the chaos of the room and the bodies inside, the distinct plasma burns he purposefully leaves in the wall with the Predator pistol, the entire scene he’s created here: a scuffle gone wrong, fast.
You’re not the only person Tang Lee has crossed but you’ll be the last. Yoongi checks the pulses of the other two men, finds one dead and the other still alive, barely, just like he’d planned—and his work is done. It’s the Yeom family’s problem now, any fall out from Lee’s death pointed at them, a repayment of a slight Lee had made to a Yeom supplier only a few weeks ago. (Yoongi wagers that neither family will care, will draw a veil over this moment and let this settle without raising arms, no one important enough to go to war over.)
He discards the pistol and armour once he’s done, incinerates it all, no interest in keeping subpar equipment. It’s not even worth dismantling for parts. Hoseok finds him in their basement, eyeing the blue flames that lick their way around the discarded armaments; he just watches Yoongi, inscrutable and calm as he eyes the blood on the clothing before it bursts into flames.
“Not a contract,” Hoseok says. (It’s not a question.)
“A job.” Yoongi replies, watches the cloth turn to ash through the thrumming display of the incinerator. “Something that needed to be done.”
He doesn’t tell anyone what he’s done. There’s no point in it. Yoongi decides something needs to be done and he’ll do it, whether that’s building a new chair for Jungkook after he broke his old one or killing a man who hurt you.
The next time he sees you your bruise is practically gone, faded into your skin. You’re intent on something on a monitor but when you notice him you turn, swivelling in your chair in one smooth motion as you lean back and put your hands behind your head, cross one leg over the other, dripping self-satisfaction, your smile sharp and full of teeth.
“Ah, Yoongi.” You look so smug that Yoongi has to resist the urge to roll his eyes. “Welcome, once again, to my laboratory. Is this visit for business or pleasure? Either way, you know I'm happy to oblige.”
“I’m here for the mod you promised me,” he says bluntly, and you just keep smiling, even as you hold out a hand for the sniper rifle, handling the D-2 Shadow with as much reverence as Yoongi does as you affix the mod.
It’s perfect, of course. All that Yoongi asked for and more. The software links with his eyepiece, biometric sensors that help him find his target, software to adjust to his pulse and breathing.
“You can even change the colour of the HUD,” you say, as if it’s some sort of buy-one-get-one-free offer, some fun little feature, rather than another helpful piece of software that you’ve created. Dismissive. An afterthought.
(You act like you take nothing seriously. Yoongi is your stark opposite, weighing everything in his hands and treating it with the level of attention it deserves, intent and focused.)
He’s staring down the scope when you speak once more. Light and easy, for once, rather than loud with your usual exaggerated exuberance or silken with unnecessary suggestiveness.
“I hear that they found a Tang family member dead.”
Yoongi just hums in response. Keeps his eye on the scope, wills the colour from dark green to white using the affinity link he has synced with his headpiece, watches the lines of the heads up display of the scope repaint themselves without even a single flicker, transition smooth and effortless. (Perfection.)
“It seems like the Yeom family did it,” you say, tone still conversational.
“Is that so.” Yoongi sounds disinterested, face impassive as he draws the gun away from his face, eye piece automatically folding away from his eyes. “Can I ask about other mods now that this one is finished?”
One of your brows rises, a perfect curve of discontent. “Say thank you first, Yoongi.”
Yoongi’s eyes cut into yours but you don’t back down, watch his blank face as he eventually says: “Thank you. Now I need more mods.”
You throw your head back as you laugh. “You’re insatiable,” you say, but you don’t say no. “What do you want now?”
(It’s not that you never say no to Yoongi. Because you have, and you do, and you will. But never because you can’t make what he asks for—and only because you refuse to make things that might endanger his safety, illicit bio-mods that other hired hitmen use, things that degrade the body from the inside out.)
Yoongi’s just holstered the Shadow, ready to go, when you speak one final time.
“Yoongi?”
He’s never heard you say his name like that, soft and quiet.
“Thanks.” You’re staring at him, regarding him steadily, solemn in a way that he’s never seen. You’re smiling, as always, but the expression is lightyears away from what Yoongi is used to—just the barest hint of an upturn to your lips.
Yoongi stares back at you. “I don’t know what you’re thanking me for.”
Your smile grows, a warm thing, unfurling like a flower. Almost affectionate. “Sure,” you say. “Of course. Silly me. Slip of the tongue.” And then, as if your brain’s only just caught up with what you just said, the smile turns salacious. “On the note of slipping the tongue—”
“Bye.”
Your cascading laughter follows him on his way out, cutting and shining with amusement. 
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Yoongi’s been getting more contracts. He’s finally buckled under Jungkook’s insistent whining and has agreed to get gear for him, too, to train him how to shoot. Hoseok has more than enough contacts in the underworld to get jobs for them both—he’s the most powerful information broker around, after all, sitting in the centre of a web he’s woven after years of work, all that sharpness and darkness hidden behind his deceptively bright smile.
(Yoongi’s lucky to consider him a friend and not an enemy.)
So that’s why he’s here with increasing frequency. That’s why he finds himself at your door more often than not. To get those orders in place, to make sure they’re progressing as fast as they need to.
You never react when Yoongi steps into your workshop. Well, you do, you lean into your hand and smirk at him, pursing your lips around each snide remark, each suggestive comment—but you never question his appearance. You just go with the flow, unbothered by his presence, even when there are other people there—other customers who eye him with unveiled curiosity and confusion (some Yoongi recognises, some he doesn’t, well-known faces and unknowns alike; none of them know who he is, though, unrecognisable as Agust D without his battle gear on). Yoongi keeps a close eye on their stances, any unchecked aggression or hostility towards you. Keeps a watch on the tension of your shoulders and spine, because of… habit. Battle instinct. Nothing else.
“You know my policy, Yoongi.” You’re analysing something in your hand. It looks like an antique spyglass, something from the decades before technology overtook the world, but it’s jammed full of tech; it doesn’t just magnify to a terrifying degree, it also amplifies sound, connected to an earpiece that’s sleek and easy to overlook. ‘A small project’, you’d called it, as if it isn’t something that people would pay a fortune to own. “If I’m making something for someone I have to meet them first. If you want me to make anything for this ‘JK’ then it’s not happening until you bring him here. Just like with your friend RM.”
Yoongi is lolling by your monitors, half-asleep in your chair (which had moulded to the shape of his body the second he sat in it, designed to be too comfortable for its own good). 
“I know you can’t pull yourself away from me,” you continue, glancing up from the scope. “But you have to spend time with your friends sometimes. I know they’re not as pleasing to look at as me—”
“Stop.”
You shift the spyglass to one hand and lean your chin on the other, regarding him with sharp eyes and an amused quirk to your lips. “I love that you think you can tell me what to do.”
Yoongi resists the urge to make a noise at the back of his throat, opting to keep mum instead.
He’s too tired to argue with you. He’d come straight after a contract, blood still on the edge of his sleeves (not his), watched the way your eyebrows had risen when you’d casually taken in the state of him before offering to wash his jacket. You know the reality of this world you both inhabit, operating in the shadows, survival paid for in blood; you might not be on the high ground, lining the shot up to take the kill, but you craft the trigger that Yoongi pulls.
(You might be aware of this reality but you’re far removed from it, shaken by violence on your own door. You never should have been faced with it. You’re an inventor; a creator. Not a killer. Not like Yoongi is. He’s not going to let that happen again. He doesn’t like you but you shouldn’t have been subject to pain—shouldn’t still have your motions edged with a held breath, as if you’re waiting for it to repeat itself. 
No matter how well you hide it, Yoongi knows that there's a part of you that's still scared.)
“I know you think you’re too important to need to remember things, but we’ve worked together for long enough that you know that I’d ask to meet JK first, Yoongi,” you say. “Did you really have to come straight after murking someone just to be reminded about that? Not complaining—you know I love seeing that pretty scowl of yours—but I just figured you’d rather be resting right now. Don't tell me the infamous Agust D missed me and decided to come here instead.”
“You were on the way.”
(He’d circled around, taken a longer route, descended into the familiar maze of the lower city. To throw off the scent of any potential pursuers. You just happened to be nearby, pure coincidence and convenience.)
You retract the spyglass, collapsing it in your hands. “Either you leave right now and go to your own place to sleep, or you’re going to sleep in my bed. Your choice.”
(If Yoongi took the time to think about it, really think about it, he’d notice that the words aren’t shrouded in suggestion or insinuation. Your brows are raised and you’re looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to decide what he’s going to do—unimpressed at how tired he is, how he’s come here instead of sliding into his own bed for the rest he so clearly needs.)
Of course, Yoongi leaves. He returns home without his jacket, strips his shirt off as soon as he’s in this safe place, this base, sheds pieces of his body armour as easy as anything (you’d designed it to be lightweight and easy to don and doff, the perfect defence for someone who relied on stealth and speed); he’s just removing the last greave when Hoseok appears, rapping his knuckles against the open door.
“You’re finally back.”
Yoongi looks up. Hoseok is dressed for work, Hope Broker persona in place, tailored suit that sits perfectly with the lines of his body, handsome and stylish and entirely put together. He oozes poise and power. Elegance.
“Yeah.” Yoongi lets the greave drop, silent as it falls to the floor. “Job’s done.”
Hoseok smiles. It’s a genuine one because it’s for Yoongi. “I know,” he says, even though scarcely any time has passed since Yoongi put a bullet in the back of the target’s skull. Nothing happens in this world of theirs without Hoseok finding out about it, always sooner rather than later. “Just wanted to check in and make sure you were okay.”
“All good.” 
“Good.” Hoseok is used to Yoongi’s blunt nature, his short responses when he’s tired. “Get some sleep.”
Hoseok’s elegant even as he adjusts his cufflinks. It’s just the briefest of moments, the crisp edge of his perfectly white sleeve contrasting with the shining silver, the design inlaid in them—but Yoongi recognises that design immediately.
Because it’s yours.
It’s the same emblem on each piece of his gear, small and understated, hidden away, easy to miss—but Yoongi knows it intimately. He doesn’t say anything. Lets Hoseok leave without a word. Each one of the men that Yoongi considers family, the tiny collection of people that stay in this same home as him, know that he only gets equipment sourced from you—but Hoseok had never mentioned that he’s been in contact with you, too. 
It’s not important. Hoseok might be his friend and a staunch ally but there’s plenty that he gets up to that none of the others are privy to, trading information to the highest bidders, head of a huge network that Yoongi can use to his advantage but isn’t technically a part of. The people Hoseok deals with—buys his information and resources from, keeps perfectly balanced in comparison to his own power—is his own business and not Yoongi’s.
Yoongi moves to gather his armour, the hardsuit he wears like a second skin, and spots that insignia that he knows so well branded into it. To have Hoseok wearing it at his wrist—the Hope Broker, renowned trader of secrets—is a statement. You could have made the cufflinks plain and unadorned. But you hadn’t.
When Yoongi climbs into bed that night, he finds that his sleep is restless.
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The smile on your face fades. “You know I don’t talk about business with other customers.”
Yoongi’s staring at you across your workbench, the light from its surface going dim as you take your hands off it, disassembled stun mine forgotten.
No one knows about his genuine friendship with Hoseok, but they do know that Agust D and the Hope Broker have an agreement; a professional working relationship. “I know the Hope Broker,” Yoongi says. 
Your eyebrows rise so far they seem to threaten to ascend into your hairline, you’re so incredulous. “Everyone does. What’s your point? Do you expect me to give you information about everyone you ask about? I get paid to keep people’s privacy, Yoongi. Do you think I sell the information of your equipment, how to dissemble every defence you have? Do you think I give your name out to everyone who asks?”
There’s no touch of amusement to the line of your lips, no sparkling irreverence in your eyes. You’re genuinely displeased.
“He’s wearing your symbol.”
You scoff. “You wear my symbol too. Why, are you jealous? Your armour has exactly the same technology. Better, even, because I can fit more tech in there.”
The cufflinks generate a kinetic barrier, then, a layer of invisible shielding that lays just atop Hoseok’s skin. But no one sees Yoongi’s armour; no one sees the workmanship of your weapons, no one except him. Your insignia isn’t emblazoned on his wrist for all to see.
Yoongi isn’t jealous.
“Hope is a powerful man,” you continue. “Everyone knows that. Even people who haven’t met him know that. Even people who aren’t sure he exists know that. If I want to sell to him then that’s my business.”
Everyone who’s anyone recognises your logo, no matter how rare it is to spot it (you only craft for a select few, after all). And Hoseok’s influence is far reaching and powerful; no one would dare cross him, dare to cross anyone who’s associated with him. 
“I’m looking for a new workshop.” You rise, moving away from your workbench to your monitors, touching a display with your fingers to bring it to life. Ignoring Yoongi’s presence, not even looking at him. “I haven’t got the space to modify the systems in this one as much as I want to. The walls are already full enough as it is. Do you know how hard it is to find somewhere with the specifications I need?”
Yoongi realises, then, why you’re doing this. The bruise is long gone and your skin is unmarred but you still don’t feel safe. You’ve always worked alone. Until now. Now you’re making moves to settle down, settle in, make a statement of allegiance to someone who can offer you a level of protection with their influence.
Someone who can offer you somewhere new, away from this inadequate place you’ve outgrown.
Hoseok laughs lightly when Yoongi asks about it, mentions it in passing as the two of them drink soju side by side, Hoseok in his suit and Yoongi girded in the armour under his unassuming clothes, both in the upper city for work; they stare down at the myriads of tall buildings and huge holo-boards and rainbow array of neon lights, far above the place they call home.
“Oh, yeah,” he says, utterly relaxed (and faintly amused). “I know you respect her work so I thought I’d reach out. I’m surprised she can make the things she does in that tiny workshop. You’re right; she’s very good.”
You are. The next time you meet, you give Yoongi his usual shipment and more besides, more than he’d ordered, reflected in the amount of creds he has to pay—because he won’t be able to just drop in for a while, your workshop dismantled and scraped empty in preparation for the move. Where to, he doesn’t know, but you say you’ll pass on the information once everything is up and running again.
“If you break any of your gear while I’m gone then you’re on your own,” you say. “I’m not shipping anything before my new workshop is finished.”
Two days later, Yoongi spies a new watch on Hoseok’s wrist. It looks low-tech, old style, metal strap and round clock face—but he sees the silhouette of your logo under those ticking hands and knows there’s more tech in there that meets the eye.
He looks away.
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It takes a week for the message to appear, encrypted: your new location. Levels above your former workshop, one of the higher strata of the lower city—still hidden and out of the way but away from the dirt and darkness. 
Yoongi goes. He finds the door panel, scans his palm, leans forward for the light to flit across his eye, murmurs a word, watches the door slide open. He’s already programmed in. New workshop, new security system, but he’s still allowed in, still one of the people you consider familiar, trustworthy. 
(He doesn’t know of anyone else who fits that category. Has only ever seen you manually allow people inside, granting your permission each time, rather than giving them free run of the place. No one has as many complex orders as he does, he’s certain. It’s for ease and practicality’s sake.)
He’s unfamiliar with the layout of this new building, first corridor already longer than he’s used to; he pauses for a moment but then hears something, faint—your laughter. Follows that sound, makes his way forward, through polished corridors with lines of light underfoot, leading him down some stairs and towards the sound of you.
Your new workshop is beautiful. There’s enough room in here for everything, no need for a backroom: a central worktable, benches lining the walls, tech displays built in, everything edged with lighting, dark surfaces shining bright, large floor panels underfoot emitting a low glow. Your former home had been that underground workshop and a locked door to a ladder to your micro apartment up top, tiny kitchen and single bed in a small room with a shower cubicle in the corner. Yoongi already knows that this building is far, far bigger, and you have more space than you’ve ever had before; you’d never been discontent with your smaller home, comfort from familiarity, until that comfort had been stripped from you.
You’re smiling. The snark woven into your words that Yoongi is used to is muted, light comment falling from your lips as you sit on that central table, perched on its edge. And Hoseok, he laughs, grinning so widely his teeth are on show—he’s wearing a suit but his jacket is resting on his shoulders, tie undone and cast around his neck. A stance of relaxation, one Yoongi’s never seen from him, not when he’s working. Not when he’s The Hope Broker and not Hoseok.
He’s still smiling when he notices Yoongi, the two of you looking over when the hitman speaks.
“Didn’t expect to see you here, Hoseok.”
That ever-present smirk freezes on your face for a split second, eyes widening at the sound of Hope’s real name. Hoseok just takes it in stride, his smile not dimming even for a second.
“Hey, Yoongi.” His greeting is as warm as it always is. “Just checking in. Have to make sure everything is up to scratch. What’s the verdict?”
You’ve hidden your surprise, wiped it off your face, eyes on Hoseok as you answer him. “It’s perfect.” A pause. “I take it you two know each other?”
“Sure. Yoongi is an old friend of mine.” Hoseok is still smiling, looking at Yoongi with creased eyes. Unafraid of revealing this information to you, still at ease despite the tension that’s bubbling in the air, Yoongi’s impassive face. Hoseok is always an unshaken pillar of positivity. “I didn’t realise he was coming. Am I interrupting an appointment?”
You stare at Yoongi. “No, you’re not. I wasn’t expecting anyone.”
(You’d sent the message less than an hour ago. Yoongi had taken one look at the address, memorised it, pulled on his jacket and headed out; clearly you hadn’t anticipated how fast his arrival would be.)
“A happy coincidence, then.” Hoseok sounds like he genuinely means it, is pleased to see Yoongi here, his smile unwavering. There’s a languid set to his body, the easing line of his spine, hands in his pockets. A glittering in his eyes. (No one ever gets the drop on Hoseok, never surprises him, catches him off guard, no matter what they do.) “But I’ll let you conduct your business and we can catch up another time.”
He takes a hand out of his pocket as he walks past Yoongi, pats his shoulder amicably. His palm is relaxed against the tense set of Yoongi’s shoulders before he ascends the stairs and disappears out of sight, the sound of his polished shoes fading until he’s gone, one of the monitors on the wall flickering to indicate the front door is shut once more.
You’re still staring at Yoongi. The atmosphere had been heavy, even with Hoseok there—and now that he’s gone there’s nothing to alleviate that pressure, nothing to dissolve the strange twist to the air.
“Who,” you start, measured but sharp, “do you think you are?”
Yoongi returns your stare, looks back at you with his dark eyes. Doesn’t respond to your question; an unnecessary, unprompted thing, razor-edged for a reason he can’t discern. 
“Can’t you hear me?” You slide off the table, stalk towards him. “I said—” you raise a hand— “who? Do? You? Think? You? Are?”
You emphasise each word with a sharp jab to Yoongi’s chest, driving your finger forward with so much force it must hurt. You keep it in place, keep it dug into the centre of his ribcage. There’s no laughter hidden in the corner of your lips. He’s annoyed you again, somehow, a familiar guest turned unwelcome interloper.
“You say that you know Hope and yet I just watched you treat him like dirt.” Your eyes are piercing, cutting through the soft frame of your curled lashes, boring straight into him. “You come into my workshop as if you’re meant to be here; like there’s something you’re owed. Do you want me to treat you like a child, send you to your room? Not let you back in here? Because I will.”
“You sent me your address,” Yoongi points out.
You let out a bark of laughter. “Please.” Your hand drops back to your side and you turn, stepping away. “I’ve sent this address to all my business associates. I can’t sell or buy unless people can find me. You’re the only one who’s taken this as an invitation to just turn up and waltz in. At least when Hope turns up he warns me beforehand. Oh, and he doesn’t say stuff like he’d rather blow his own brains out than be forced to see me. I know you just love being contrary but has it ever occurred to you to be more polite to people? You’d make a terrible waiter. You’d get fired on your first day.”
You’re in front of one of your cabinets. You reach inside for something, hefting it in your hands before returning, handling it in a way that’s completely unceremonious, dropping it to the bench at his side like you want to be rid of it. Like you don’t even want to hand it directly to him, to interact with him. “There. Nothing but a pleasure doing business with you, Yoongi, even if your customer service still needs improving.”
It looks like a flat, hexagonal panel, the same colour and material as his armour. Something to be locked into it, wired in, trailing veins of unattached tech spilling from it. He’s seen you working on this for a while, seen you draw up blueprints with a bruise fresh on your cheek, seen it turned in your hands as that mark had faded and left your skin. 
It’s not something he ordered.
“What is this?”
You wave a dismissive hand. “Auto medi-gel distributor. It syncs with your armour and senses when you’ve been hurt and disperses gel in the affected area. Your armour’s always been too lightweight to have extra mods on but I’ve been working on this for a while.”
It’s an astonishing piece of tech. Usually one that’s reserved for heavier armour, restricting and hard to move in but easier to mod—but this thing is slim, compact, the same technology crammed into a smaller package without losing any of its punch. He doesn’t know what materials you’ve had to use to circumvent this, the level of tech you’ve layered into this, the amount of time and thought you’ve put into this.
“How much is it?”
The wrong thing to say. The smile that spreads itself across your lips is an echo of its usual curve, brittle and flaking around the edges, a baring of teeth.
“It’s a gift, Yoongi. Usually when someone does something for you, you return the favour.” Your lips are still upturned but your eyes are unsmiling even when your tone seems whimsical and light. You’ve got on your usual flippant façade, but there’s a pointed undercurrent to it. “You know, I don’t understand you at all. You remind me that you don’t like me but then you always hang around. You kill someone who threatened me and pretend that you didn’t do it. You say you don’t like me, but I thought you at least respected me, and yet here you are. Lying to me and treating me like I'm a fool.”
“I do respect you,” Yoongi says. 
(Because he does, and as much as he would hate to inflate your ego, he doesn’t shy away from telling the truth.)
“Sure you do.” An unimpressed eye-roll, cutting under his words, knocking his feet out from underneath him. You don’t care to believe him. “This is my fault for not treating you the same as all my other business associates.  Next time you come in you’ll have to have an appointment, just like everyone else. It’ll minimise the amount of time we have to spend together.”
Yoongi doesn’t like you. He finds, though, that he likes the sound of this even less; finds it pulling at his brows, his mouth, impassive expression turned to one of disapproval.
And his mouth opens. The word falls from his lips before he has a chance to think—years of battle intuition, years of following instinct, moving as he needs to in the moment.
“No.”
A raise of the brows. A purse of the lips. Incredulous. “No?” you parrot it back, mocking. “Oh, okay, sure. Never mind. You’re welcome to come in whenever you want and act like you have free rein of the place. There’s nothing I enjoy more than your scowling presence.”
Sharp tongued, sharp eyed, narrowed at him: a confrontation. For all that you needle him you never mean it, really (even if it’s still infuriating, aggravating). But right now? Right now each of your words is barbed, your sarcasm a defence, an offence. You’re running your mouth not just to rile him, but to ward him away. 
“You’re really not as smart as you think you are, Min Yoongi.” You wield his name like a weapon. “You tell me right now why I should listen to you. What do you come here for? And don’t say it’s for my work because it stopped being just that a long time ago. And if it is just for my work then take it and go. Then I’ll take you off the security system and we’ll only see each other as much as is strictly necessary. In fact, you could pass your orders along via Hope—then we won’t have to even see each other at all. ”
“And then he’ll be the only one allowed free rein?”
It comes out before he’s even really thought about what he’s saying, which isn’t like him at all. Yoongi is two parts: pure, honed instinct, and careful, wary vigilance. He’s not like you, saying the first thing that comes to mind—not normally, anyway—but the words jump from his lips, from some near-silent part of him that balks at the idea. Of Hoseok stepping into your space the way that Yoongi does, appearing without warning, to be greeted with a curled smirk and glittering eyes.
“You’re a fucking idiot if you think that you’re not the only person with security clearance. My God. You’re infuriating. Seriously? I didn’t realise you were genuinely this dense. You’re the only one I’ve ever allowed in without prior agreement.” You emphasise this statement with another jab to his chest, your finger a sharp knife that cuts into him as you stab it forwards.
He catches your wrist. His grasp is firm but there’s no pressure to it; doesn’t squeeze, doesn’t tighten his fingers, just holds you in place. You’re staring at him with a challenge in your eyes, one that he finds himself rising to match, never one to back down.
“Is that so?”
Your hand unfurls, fingers splayed across his chest; he’s still holding your wrist, shifting with your movement. “Don’t be obtuse.” An irritated exhale. “Normally you complain whenever I talk and now you’re trying to get me to repeat myself. Again with the inconsistency, Yoongi. Make up your mind.”
He could do what you do whenever you’re feeling particularly aggravating. Play dumb, ask more questions, drag out the interaction until you’re bordering on snapping—but he doesn’t. He looks at the set of your jaw, the way you’re staring at him. Unflinching. You’ve never been scared of him, and you aren’t now, not with how he’s got a hold of you, how close he is to you.
He toes the line. Shifts closer. Notes the way your pupils dilate, how the tips of your fingers dig into the fabric of his shirt; how the air grows heavier, a frisson of electricity crackling through it. Yoongi doesn’t like you, but he likes that feeling—how the tension in the air shivers from indignation into something different.
Because you’re still staring at him, and there’s still that hard set to your jaw, but there’s not just anger in your eyes. There’s that warm thing he’s grown used to seeing, smouldering in near silence until he’d coaxed it to full flame, thrown gasoline onto the coals when he’d shot plasma into the back of Tang Lee’s skull. He’d protected you even though he hadn’t needed to, doesn’t need to, but does anyway—because he trusts you and there’s no one else he trusts to keep you safe.
And there’s no one else you trust, either.
“You talk too much,” Yoongi says, like he so often does—but there’s no irritation in it, touched instead with a simmering heat, the faintest edge of a bite.
You tilt your head. There’s a provocation etched into the twist of your mouth, the way your lips lift. Because no matter how much you needle him, dig your fingernails into every crack of his armour and twist—no matter how annoying you are, how angry you make him—you know that he’s not mad. Not really. Not in a way that makes you afraid, but in a way that thrills you, makes you want to see him snap, to wipe away that level facade he maintains.
“Maybe you should shut me up, then,” you reply, a murmur. A challenge.
A beat. Yoongi’s fingers tighten around your wrist. A warning.
And in response?
You just smile.
The way your eyes widen just seconds later is delicious, though, when Yoongi lets go of your wrist—because he’s moving faster than you expected. Your surprise melts into delight, a spark of glee that says you’ve gotten exactly what you want when Yoongi threads his fingers in your hair, tilting your head back to bare the column of your throat. He holds you firmly in place, crowds you back against the workbench so hard its edge must be digging almost painfully into your back but not once does that glee dim, written over every line of your smile, eyes bright and teeth sharp.
Yoongi likes to take things slow. There’s the part of him that never steps into a situation without knowing every angle, every escape route, each one of his kills planned meticulously. But, he thinks, the two of you have been waiting long enough, and he’s never been patient around you—has found his composure worn thin faster than anywhere else, by anyone else. It’s this part of him, frayed into non-existence by you, that rises to the surface now, makes him move as quick as he does.
And you respond just the way he knew you would. When he presses his mouth to yours you kiss him back like you have a point to make (you always do), fast and almost reckless, all lips and teeth and tongue. There’s no finesse to it. When he presses his tongue into your mouth you part your lips so prettily, let him take his fill, slide your tongue against his and tilt your head to get even deeper—and just like always, you're vocal, letting out small noises that are caught and muffled in the kiss, lust filled. But when you try to nip at his lip with the edge of your teeth Yoongi tightens his grip in your hair and swallows down your gasp before he pulls away, holding you in place so you can’t chase after his mouth. Your lips are kiss swollen and under the bright lights above they shine, slightly parted, pupils blown as you stare at him. 
(You look good like this.)
Your eyes slide shut when Yoongi lowers his lips to your neck, across your throat. There’s nothing gentle about it. He moves with single-minded intent, lips and teeth harsh against your sensitive skin—and you take it all, little sounds falling from your lips as Yoongi drags his teeth towards the hollow of your neck. And when he takes his hand from your hair, takes both hands and digs his fingers into your waist and lifts you, you go so easily; a mimicry of your earlier position when he’d stepped in, perched on the edge of the table. Legs spread so Yoongi can stand between them. He’d be surprised at how pliant you are if it wasn’t so obvious that this is exactly what you want: lifting your hips so he can strip your lower half bare. 
Your bare thighs press against the surface of the workbench, tech displays coming alive under your body heat. You’ve shrugged your cropped jacket off and you’re just reaching for your top when Yoongi stops you; splays a hand in the centre of your chest and presses you back, slow but undeniable. You’re not the one setting the pace. He is. He’s the one in control, with you spread out in front of him, only a thin layer of fabric keeping you from being completely bare—thin cotton underwear, dark and damp between your legs, betraying your arousal.
“Wet,” Yoongi murmurs.
Your retort stutters on your lips when he drags his fingers upwards over your slit, barely dulled by the material in the way. “No shit,” you say, and then suck in a breath when he presses the pad of his thumb across your clit.
It’s no good, the fact you’re still talking. But that’s okay. Yoongi’s planning on changing that.
It’s lewd, the way your legs are spread, parting further at the urging of his hands. Your hands slide across the bench, papers scattering, palms flat on the work surface and white light shimmering on dark blue in reaction to your touch; an unnecessary distraction that you both ignore. There’s nothing graceful about this, the peel of underwear away from your core, already slick even with the barest of attentions; he drags his fingers down the inside of your thighs, all that soft skin, and then under, urging your hips up and towards his mouth. No foreplay to this foreplay, no dragging out this moment—he bites at that soft skin of your inner thigh, sinks his teeth into it and listens to the way you gasp in surprise—and before you have a moment to ground yourself, he presses his mouth to your cunt.
You’re wet and warm under his tongue and the smell of you surrounds him, musky and heavy, and he feels how your entire body goes tense as you arch your back. He’d normally take his time with this, have you strung out and begging, but he has different plans today—knows exactly what he wants from this, sucking your clit between his lips and feeling your thighs tighten around his head, legs slung over his shoulders as he listens to the way you moan. Each sound shudders out from your mouth like you tried so desperately to keep it in but couldn’t help it. Yoongi loves eating pussy anyway but this is even better, the way all your witty ripostes die in your throat before you can shape them on your lips, turned into breathy gasps instead. 
The taste of you fills his mouth and it’s so fucking good. You’ve been watching him, how his head moves between your legs, but he can tell you’re close; you’ve given up, eyes shut as you lean into the sensation building up in you, and Yoongi thinks he likes you better like this. Forced into speechlessness under his hands and tongue. Your pretty mouth softened from sharpness into urging noises of pleasure. He slides one arm across your stomach and holds you in place, a hard line that you can’t overpower and you’re left squirming in place, hips trying to kick up each time he draws his tongue over your slit, every part of you sloppy with your own arousal and Yoongi’s spit, flushed and lovely. One of your hands is in his hair and you’re pulling, pulling hard, unaware of how tight your grip is as you try to buck your hips and sob. 
You’re so sensitive, and it only takes one, two fingers pressing into you and curling just right as Yoongi slides his tongue over your clit before you’re cumming, hot around his fingers as you come apart all wet and messy. He’s never seen you so undone, back arched as you ride out your orgasm, hair swept away from your forehead as you throw your head back. Keeps his mouth open on you, feels you under his tongue, until you’re flopped on your back and your chest is heaving, legs untensed and loose over his shoulders.
You shift an arm. Your fingers barely brush the medi-gel mod you’d made him, a loose sheet of paper sliding away and joining the others on the floor.
“Just moved in and it’s already a mess,” Yoongi says, and he doesn’t just mean the paper; fingers and chin and mouth covered in your slick, your core soaked. He’s still knuckle deep and when he curls his fingers again your entire body jolts, your mouth parting almost wantonly before you seem to struggle back to reality, surfacing from a haze of arousal and post orgasmic bliss.
“That’s your fault,” you say, voice weaker than usual. “I’ll send you the cleaning bill.”
“Mm. Not my fault you’re a messy girl.”
“Fuck you.” The blunt words are softened by your breathlessness, your bonelessness; the way your breath catches in your throat when he calls you a messy girl, even if you try to hide it. Trying not to let him in on exactly how much power he holds in this moment. 
“I was planning on it,” Yoongi says, as calm as ever, even if arousal is simmering through his veins and gathering in his gut—has been this entire time, the taste of you on his tongue and the heat of you under his lips and the sound of you in his ears. “Want to make your workshop even messier?”
You dig your balls of your feet into his back, legs still over his shoulders. His fingers shift inside you and you shiver. “I don’t think so,” you say. “Bedroom.”
“So you’re giving me a tour, then?”
You don’t dignify him with a response, although the noise you make when he finally pulls his fingers out of you is more than enough to satisfy him. He’s still fully dressed and you’re only half so, and it would be comical if the sight of your bare legs and slick on your inner thighs wasn’t so hot, barefoot on the glowing and pristine (papers notwithstanding) floors as you reach for his hand and lift it to your lips, sucking his fingers into your mouth and licking your arousal off his fingers with your tongue, warm and wet, before you grab his wrist and pull. 
He watches the movement of your hips as you lead him, your bare ass. Shameless as ever. Confident in yourself, even now. It’s not until you’ve stepped over the threshold and into your new bedroom that your tattoos become visible, as bright as the low lights in the room, those geometric lines and stylised circuitry on your legs shifting as you step forwards.
Even with the relative darkness Yoongi immediately notices something. Cast over the back of a chair near the bed, there’s his jacket, blood stains at the edge of the sleeves gone. Cleaned. Yoongi shifts his hand so you don’t have your fingers wrapped around his wrist any more. Instead he’s the one shackling you, holding you in place as you look over your shoulder.
“Were you ever going to return that to me?” He tilts his head at the chair. 
You pause. Glance over. Look back at him, all amusement and provocation, recovered from your earlier breathlessness. “But Yoongi, I get so cold.”
There’s something about the idea of you in his clothes, clothes that you know he’s worn when he’s been getting his hands dirty—he ignores the curl to your lips and moves you towards the bed, ignoring the sound of your self satisfied laughter when he reaches for your shirt and pulls, with you lifting your arms to help him, grinning at him the whole time. Even when he’s thrown your bra aside and kicked his boots off and pushed you onto the mattress, trapped you underneath him, completely naked against his completely clothed body you’re still smiling, like the cat who got the cream.
You’re stunning. There’s no doubt about it. You always have been, annoyingly so, even when Yoongi’s wanted to wring your neck; not just because you’re pretty but because you’re intelligent and confident and in control, staring up at him without a lick of fear or concern, even now. Never with him, never. He can see your tattoos in all their glory, nothing hidden away from his gaze; he sees one he hasn’t been able to see before, a sunflower bursting across your ribcage, curved under the swell of your breast, glowing red and orange in the midst of all your other cyan and teal lines, glowing in the black light. He’s pressing you down, trapped under his body, and you’re just waiting. Waiting and still smiling, smirking, letting him take you in, preening under his attention.
He wants to eat you alive.
So he does just that. Shifts back down the mattress on his knees, keeping his hands on you, pulling his hands down the easing lines of your ribs and waist and hips, before a firm tug has you lifting up—your smug facade shakes when you’re left with only your shoulders and head against the bed, the rest of your body pulled towards Yoongi’s waiting mouth once more, held in place with fingers that dig into your hips, thighs soft against his ears, your hands scrabbling at the linen underneath you when Yoongi’s lips press into the crease of your thigh, off balance.
“Safeword?” He murmurs into your skin, and you pause.
“Hoseok,” you answer, and Yoongi responds by biting into your thigh again, soothing it with his tongue when you squeal.
“Shameless.”
You’re still wet from before, slick with cum, and Yoongi doesn’t hesitate before he dives back in. He can hear more than he can see the way your fingers curl into your sheets and rumple them in your hands, anchored helplessly into place by Yoongi’s mouth and the fingers cupped under your ass, digging into the soft skin, undignified and at his mercy. 
“Yoongi!” You gasp, almost a whimper as a breath gets caught in your throat. “Y-Yoongi—”
You’re so helpless like this. It’s a little hard for Yoongi to breathe, your legs tightening around him, but it’s worth it for the way he can see you shaking apart. He presses his tongue as deep into you as he can, sucks your swollen pearl between his lips and circles it with his tongue, notices the way you jolt at those wet kisses, still sensitive from before, and he doesn’t let up. Keeps going and going and going until you’re gasping for air, sensations rippling through your body as you buck and writhe; you’re trying to keep yourself together, he can tell, but you’re unravelling, smirk wiped off your face and your mouth in a pretty little circle whenever you choke out oh, oh.
You cum faster than he expects, shoulders lifting away from the mattress as you arch your back so far it must hurt and tighten your legs and he feels the way your pussy throbs under his tongue, practically gushing when you reach your peak. Your eyes are unfocused when they flutter back open but you’re reaching for him, for the waistband of his trousers, trying to touch the hard length of his cock—he’s been ignoring it, how he’s leaked so much precum he can feel how wet it is in his boxer-briefs.
He keeps ignoring it now. He catches your hands, stops you in place, stares you down with an unimpressed tilt to his brows.
“What,” he says levelly, “do you think you’re doing?”
“Want you in my mouth,” you say. You seem almost desperate for it, fingers flexing in his hold, letting your tongue linger against your lips longer than necessary. “I want your cock in my mouth, Yoongi.”
He tightens his grip around your wrists. And then, for the first time all night, he smiles.
“No.”
You look stunned. Just for a moment. Then you’re squirming in his hold, but you’re trapped, nowhere to go. “What do you mean, no?”
Yoongi’s still smiling, mirroring the self satisfaction that had been written all over your face earlier. “I mean no. You don’t get what you want. You get what you’re given.”
There’s nothing he’d like more than to sink into that wet heat, to see your smart mouth put to good use, lips spread over his cock, but this is better. Seeing the genuine frustration and disbelief written across your features. 
He doesn’t give you time to line up another angered retort on your tongue. Doesn’t give you time to breathe before he’s flipping you over, the wings of your shoulder blades and curve of your spine emphasised by the lines that are traced symmetrically and shining across your skin. They shift when you move, hips lifted from the mattress by Yoongi’s hands, on your hands and knees as he fumbles his waistband and zipper and pulls his cock free. He’s painfully hard, flushed head with precum that beads at the tip, and when he tugs you back he watches the way the head drags across the curve of your ass, leaving a shining line of wetness on your skin.
And when he sinks into you he barely gives you time to adjust, barely has time to adjust himself, to all this hot tight wetness after his cock’s gotten no attention at all—you let out a moan that almost sounds like you’re singing, long and high with pleasure, the slide eased from all your cum.
 You take it so well, always so good to him no matter how irritating you are, so lost in the sensations that you don’t say anything about the hard edges of Yoongi’s clothes whenever he drives his hips forward and it presses into the soft skin of your thighs. It’s messy and choppy and fast and you slump onto your elbows, entire body shaking as you take everything Yoongi is giving you. Caged underneath him when he follows you forwards, presses his front to your back, feels the way the sweat on your skin is caught against the fabric of his clothes. Grinds his hips deep and feels the way you gasp, sucking in a shaking breath, your entire body lost in it. He bites his lip and keeps his own sounds caught behind his teeth, not letting you know how you’re pulling him towards his own edge.
He’s not done with you yet.
Your clit is slick under his touch when he lifts his fingers to touch you, to layer another sensation on top of the cock inside you, and you’re sobbing. You don’t ask him to stop, never know when to quit, face every challenge thrown at you—and Yoongi can tell that you love it even if your body is crying out, that you love this oversensitivity, pulled taut and strung out. You’re beyond speech, words slurred, barely recognisable as his name and pleas of more, please, more. He can feel when you’ve crested the wave of too much sensation and fallen back into that rippling sea of pleasure, and when you cum it’s with a soundless moan, mouth wide open but no noise escaping. No more sharp retorts, no smart words, fucked into incoherency, trembling and quivering as you go tight around him and Yoongi struggles not to lose himself then and there, in your scorching, wet cunt, fluttering around him.
The noise when he pulls out is slick and lewd, just like all the other noises that have been filling the room, the slap of skin on skin temporarily halted when Yoongi rolls you onto your back. There’s sweat beading on your skin, shimmering, tears gathering in the corner of your eyes and glistening like tiny jewels in the multi-coloured low light of this room. Your lips are parted and your gaze is bleary and you’re everything Yoongi has never seen from you before, fuzzy and quiet, entirely pliant. When he reaches for you again, runs his hands over the rise of your hipbones and down the side of your thighs, you whimper.
“One more,” Yoongi says. “One more, you can give me one more.”
You’ve never known when to quit, and now is no different, even if you’re on the verge of being entirely fucked dumb. Those tears pool in your eyes and stream down towards your hairline, but you let Yoongi move you, try to help by lifting your hips but almost too gone to move at all. Yoongi almost cums when he sinks into you, your willing body; he thinks you’ve never looked better than you do now, smelling like sweat and sex and so soft under his hands, taking his cock like you were made for it, and you’re so gorgeous when you’re falling apart. 
The attitude you wear normally—the one that chafes at Yoongi’s nerve-endings—has been entirely wiped away, forced out of you by mindless pleasure. But still, you know what you want, even now, even when you’re barely coherent—Yoongi feels your hand slide across his and pull weakly, guiding it across your chest and up, circling his fingers around your neck.
He swears. Snaps his hips forward hard, watches the way your eyes roll back when he gives an experimental squeeze around your throat. Yoongi’s choked people before, knows exactly how much pressure to give, how much it takes to cut someone’s airways completely or how to just leave them reeling; he lets you linger on the edge of breathlessness, feels the way you go tight around him. When you orgasm it rips through you, your thighs tightening around Yoongi’s hips as you hit your peak and cum hard, and the feeling of it has Yoongi cursing and bending forwards to shove his face in your neck and kiss the salt-sweat taste he finds there as he falls off the edge. He cums wet inside you, keeps rolling his hips through it all, lets his cum mix with yours and watches the way you just keep taking it, even when your whole body is trembling from how much it is.
And when Yoongi calls you a good girl, you don’t snap back like you normally would, don’t deride his praise. You bask in it, as tired as you are, letting out a soft noise when he pulls his softening cock out of you, unbothered by the wet patches on your sheets and how the whole room stinks of sex. When he moves to lift you, to get you clean, you go easily and without argument, every one of your honed edges dulled, and you make no move to sharpen them again, to drag them over Yoongi in the way he’s so familiar with by now. Even when you’ve lifted out of your haze and you’re back in the moment, the way you watch Yoongi is no less calm than normal, but still different.
“Stay.”
He’s in the middle of reaching for his boots, discarded on the floor, a discordant note on the clear floor. You’re wearing clean underwear and a loose t-shirt and you’re looking at him with something verging on surprise, like you hadn’t expected to see him moving to pull his shoes back on to leave.
He hadn’t been planning to.
“Just moving them out of the way,” says Yoongi, putting them upright by the base of your chair, and then he makes his way back to you. You don’t attempt to hide your pleasure that he’s listened to you,  pulling him onto the bed despite the fact he’s still dressed.
“I don’t cuddle,” he says, even as you tuck yourself into the crook of his arm, and he shifts to make it more comfortable for you.
You press your face into the hollow of his neck, touch your nose against his throat, breathing in the smell of sweat that still lingers—because you’re shower soft and fresh but he isn’t, and weirdly enough, you seem to enjoy it. Seem to enjoy that contrast, the one that’s always existed between you, Yoongi immersed in blood and sweat and tears while you’re away from it, one degree of separation from it all. “You know, I like it when you do things for me.”
Normally he’d protest, say that he doesn’t do things for you, but the truth is that he does, even if he’s only just admitting it to himself. 
“Like that time you killed someone for me,” you say, and Yoongi’s fingers tighten, soft skin of your waist yielding under his touch.
“I kill a lot of people.”
You let out a laugh against his skin, quietly amused. “Just admit it. You like me, Min Yoongi.”
A pause. 
Then: “Against my better judgement, I do.”
And he does. Even if you’re irritating and maddening, he does like you, and not just because of the work you do for him. He thinks that even if you weren’t so good at your job that he’d find himself here anyway, caught in this push and pull you have, magnetised.
“No need to sound so begrudging,” you say, but there’s no real annoyance behind your words. 
Yoongi finds that he likes that note in your voice, like you’re indulging him and his stubbornness and you’re unmoved by it. He hums in response. Feels the way you shift back, lean on your elbows to look down at him, lips curled up at the corners.
“Kiss me.”
Not a question. A demand. Yoongi stares you down, just for a second, before he lifts a hand and weaves a hand back into your hair, tilting your mouth against his. He can feel your self satisfied smile against his lips and he doesn’t mind it at all, sees it spread across your face when you eventually pull back, all flushed lips and warm eyes.
You’re still sharp, a weapon in your own right, but you willingly hand yourself over to be held in his skilled hands, let yourself be worn smooth by his touch. He weaves his fingers between your own, your palm soft and warm against his, and he likes this. That you’re unafraid of what he is, that the fact he’s a killer isn’t something that scares you or thrills you.
Yoongi likes your work. He likes that he knows he can trust you. He likes that he knows of your loyalty, to the people you choose and to yourself, your unwavering principles, as unpredictable as they might seem. He likes that you’re unashamed to be yourself and to be confident, no matter how people react to that cockiness. 
What he likes even better than all that is this, though: the way you’re pressed against his side, evidence of his touch written into your skin. The feeling of your hand in his. Despite all the odds, all the months of drawn out and simmering exasperation and tension coming to a head like this, Yoongi likes you.
“I’m not going to give you a discount, you know,” you say suddenly, and for the first time since you met, Yoongi allows himself to laugh at you.
“I’d be offended if you did.”
(You’re loud. Cocky. Arrogant. You love to irritate him just for the hell of it, because you think it’s funny and you love knowing that you can rile him up—but he can rile you up too, and you both know it.
Yeah. Yoongi likes you.)
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tagging: @beyoncesdragon @vensulove @gyukult  @swinginpicklesuitcaseapricot @kpopheart2 @loveyoongles @muzikabijou  @katbonv @jaxx-7 @yeojaa
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astaroth1357 · 4 years
Text
Brothers Accidentally Make the MC Cry
Hello, this is the obligatory italics blurb that I have to put under my titles or else things look weird and it bothers me. Don’t mind the blurb. The blurb is a friend. (Though I could start writing pieces of a little story up here just to see if anyone even reads them… Hm…. Ideas, ideas...)
Warning: Angsty
Lucifer 
If he were being honest, he’d say that a part of him had always feared this would happen...
Lucifer likes to tell himself that he’s invincible, but everyday stresses can get to him just like anybody else. And like other people, he may not always act his best when he’s dealing with a full plate…
The MC hadn’t meant to make his day harder when they told him that they accidentally broke a lamp. It was a genuine accident! But Lucifer was still dealing with the fallout from another one of Mammon’s failed schemes, Satan had cursed all of his ties again, and Beel had eaten every scrap of food in the House… for the second time that week...
In comparison to everything else, a broken lamp was quite minor, but for Lucifer it was just the last straw and, for just a moment, he lost control…
His palm slamming against his desk hard enough to snap its legs and send it crashing to the ground. He scarcely knew what kind of look he had on his face, but whatever it was, he had made his human jump back in shock...
Really, it was silly for them to assume that he had gotten that upset over a lamp, but he saw tears starting to gather in their eyes all the same as they stammered out a quiet apology… 
It felt like an ice spike to the heart. Damn his temper… He really ought to have been more careful with them after… well, everything he’d done before…
He was quick to go over to them, catching their face with his hand and giving them the most sincere apology he could muster while wiping away their tears… Overreactions aren’t becoming of him and he hated to cause them pain… 
He, of course, took care of the lamp himself as penance and on the surface that seemed to be it (but to anyone paying attention, he had softened up on the MC considerably for at least a week. They probably could have sworn in front of Diavolo and he’d let it slide, he felt that bad about it...)
“I’m sorry, MC, I shouldn't have reacted like that… You haven’t done anything wrong, I promise… Please, there’s no need to cry…”
Mammon
Oh? What's that? His heart is now in a million pieces now...? Well, that seems fair…
He and the MC were out on one of his gambling nights and he was actually on a killer winning streak for once! Jackpots around every corner, he was rolling in it!
The MC had tried to convince him to just throw in the towel early, take his winnings while he had them and bail, but he wasn’t hearing any of it.
In hindsight, their insistence must have really shown how much the MC cared about him and wanted him to keep his earnings... but in the heat of the moment all he saw was someone trying to spoil his one night of fun.
To be fair to Mammon, it’s rather rare for him to lose control of his anger like he did. But when they tried to pull him away from the roulette table, he genuinely snarled at them and told them to get lost...!
Fortunately, he regretted his actions immediately after he saw the hurt in their eyes…
If their goal had been to get him to step away from the table, they achieved it. But only because he got up to pull them into a hug while stammering out apologies… Watching them actually shed tears hurt worse than any rope Lucifer had ever tied around him...
He spent the rest of the night away from the casino and trying to cheer up his human like his life depended on it... Seeing them in pain just tore him up that much.
"Ah, come on MC… I'm sorry, honest…! Please don't look at me like that, I'll do whatever ya want okay...? Just no more cryin…"
Leviathan 
Now thinks he's the worst, literally the worst. Lower than lesser demon spit. Lower than Cerberus' shit. Lower than… well, you get the idea…
Levi can get very… intense when things involving his passions are brought up. This can be a fairly endearing quality… but it also means he gets disproportionately impassioned about seemingly minor things.
Levi ended up snapping at the MC when they let him over-sleep one day. This wasn’t unusual for them to do as Levi’s sleep schedule was notoriously shitty, but they shouldn't have done it that particular day…
An item he wanted on Akuzon was going to go live that morning and he had to be awake to participate in the bidding. He had mentioned it to the MC the day before, but he blew past it so quickly they didn’t actually remember…
He found out that he missed the bidding after he woke up and he was pissed. Genuinely enraged that they didn’t remember to wake him up to the point that he was shouting and baring his fangs! 
… Really it was not a good look and he should have known better.
The look of fear and the tears gathering in the MC’s eyes snapped him out of it like a hard slap to the face, and somehow, it stung even more than that would’ve... It wasn’t long before he was crying along with them, practically begging for forgiveness...
He made it up to them by having a private showing of their favorite movie using a projector in the Planetarium, cuddling with them under a blanket while still, occasionally, muttering apologies under his breath.
“M-MC…? MC don’t cry…!! Please don’t cry, I- I’m sorry!! I… MC… I’m so sorry…”
Satan
Like Lucifer, he always worried this would happen and he hated when it finally came to pass…
He’d spent all his life learning how to restrain his temper, but it’s not a perfect science. There are the occasional times where the heat of the moment gets the better of him and he does something he regrets…
The MC had walked in on him one morning while he was fuming about Beel leaving the fridge empty again. It hadn’t been the first time they’d seen him like this, but this time he was absolutely furious.
He had told Beel again and again and again to get his snacking under control or to, you know, get up early and get more food so the whole family wouldn’t spend the morning starving but noooo! Mr. I’m Hungry never thinks about anything but his own stomach and then leaves whoever’s on kitchen duty to pick up the slack like some dimwitted muscle-bound meathead and THEN-!!
When the MC tried to take his arm to calm him down, he jerked their hand away from him and roared right in their face. He may not be a lion, but the full sound of a pissed off demon could make humans have breakdowns all on its own…
Which was more or less what the MC began to do as he gripped their wrist, panicking while taking shallow, stuttered breaths…
Satan's anger left him swiftly and he let them go, only reaching out to touch them again when he tried to wipe the tears from their cheeks… He had to coo and beg for them to calm down, which was only so successful because he was fighting back tears himself… 
On a scale of 1-10 of the worse things his temper has ever done, he'd rank this a firm 200... He refused to touch them for about a week afterwards and it took a long time for him to trust himself again… He just didn't want to hurt them...
"MC?? MC…? M… Oh no… MC, I'm so sorry, I would never hurt you! I… I wouldn't dare… please believe me..."
Asmodeus 
Oh baby! Sweetheart! Love of his life!! No, please no… don't subject him to this…
MC and Asmo were out dancing and some witch came by to try and flatter him.
Now, Asmo is a flirt normally, but get a few drinks in him and well… Let's just say his love of attention overrides his better judgment far more often than it should and friends don't let friends go home with creepy witches.
When the MC told the witch to scram, Asmo was confused and, frankly, quite irritated. That lovely lady had been stroking his ego in all the right ways and his human just scared her off so rudely!
Under most situations, Asmo would have kept his cool better but the haze of Demonus made his tongue loose... which let the venom fly…
He couldn’t quite remember what he said. The words left his mouth so quickly that they slurred together on his clumsy tongue, but it must have been enough because the MC flinched away from him.
That hurt all on its own, but as he started to process the pain in their eyes… he had never sobered up so fast...
He had their cheeks cupped in his hands and were kissing away their tears within the instant. Though the loud music at the club should have drowned out his apologies, the MC could see it written all over his equally tearful face…
He pulled them into his arms and then out of the club shortly after, the fog of Demonus that plagued him just moments before had long left him and all he knew was that the MC needed to be brought home and cuddled… stat.
“M-MC…? I’m sorry was it something… did I…? I’m so sorry… Please don’t cry…!”
Beelzebub 
He really didn't mean to shout so loud… honest... 
Beel becomes a completely different person when he’s hungry. He’s not entirely to blame, as his hunger can get so intense, but he still can snap from time to time when he really doesn’t mean to…
It was right after one of his practices and Beel hadn’t gotten a chance to eat in a few hours by the time the MC came to grab him from RAD. That already had him in a bad mood, but practice hadn’t gone too well for him either… 
He honestly didn’t realize how sharply he snapped at the MC when they asked him how he was. The irritation and frustration of the day all hit him at once and he became much harsher towards them than he ever intended…
It must have been the shock of seeing ever-sweet Beel suddenly get so aggressive with them that startled them so. He saw a couple tears gathering in their eyes before they could hide them and his heart just sank…
The MC was picked up in a crushing bear hug before they even let out their first sniffle. Beel didn’t even have to say how sorry he was, they could feel it in every squeeze he gave them. All while he completely ignored the growling of his stomach...
Beel wouldn’t let them go until he was certain they’d forgiven him which, honestly, took a while. Mammon was the one to ask why he had carried them all the way back to the House like a baby but… well, he didn’t need to know, now did he?
“MC, I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have shouted… Are you alright...?”
Belphegor 
Stubborn boi is stubborn and trying really, really hard not to crack right now...
That's not going to last long.
Belphie can be a bit of a brat and since he's the baby of the family so he's used to getting his way. He and the MC don't argue a ton, but when they do, he always digs his heels in and refuses to budge an inch on anything.
So what started out as a simple disagreement on how often Belphie would flake out on his chores turned into a kick-the-door-down argument over how much his laziness left the MC to pick up the slack...
It ended as all their barn burning arguments do, with demon-form Belphie sitting cross-legged on his bed refusing to look at them and the MC angrily pacing about the room until he cools off…
And then he heard it.
First a sniffle… and then a hiccup. Another sniffle then muffled whine…
Oh no… not this… Why are they crying…? They don't normally cry…
To his credit (or perhaps discredit), he managed to hold out for about two minutes before he finally glanced back at them. Seeing the MC wiping their tears all alone on the floor crumbled his resolve real quick.
The MC found themselves enveloped by Belphie's arms before they even noticed he got up. Naturally, he was pouting and trying to make it seem like "not a big deal or anything" but they could tell by the nervous twitch of his tail that he was hurting too…
Needless to say. Belphie started remembering his chores a lot more after that.
"Humans are so fragile… I didn't mean to make you cry, you know? I'll get things done just… Don't cry… please…"
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uvobreakmylegs · 3 years
Text
Detour
I’m excited that it’s fall but i’m also sad that i won’t be able to swim anymore
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Warnings: death, graphic depictions of violence, creepy behavior, groping, mentions of smut, kidnapping
The two guys at the gas station check out counter had been there when Phinks had first walked through the sliding glass doors, and they were still there when he approached the check out himself, having only dropped in to grab another pack of beer. The gas station clerk seemed annoyed while the two guys were pulling their pockets inside out, evidently in search of any spare change that may have been hiding on their persons. There was a sad pile of jenny and some change sitting in front of the clerk while she waited for them impatiently, and she seemed ready to push all of the money back towards them as it became more and more likely that these two didn't have enough cash for the assortment of alcohol and junk food that also sat on the counter.
Any other time Phinks would've been annoyed by the situation. But seeing as he didn't have anywhere to be, he found that he didn't really care all that much. The troupe likely wouldn't meet back up for some time which left his schedule quite open, and he had found it difficult to find something to occupy his time with while he waited for the boss to bring everyone together again.
Phinks had decided that a road trip was a decent way to pass the time. It was something he'd never really done before and so far it was easing his boredom as he had hoped it would. There was no real time limit he had set on himself or any destination that he had in mind. He'd just keep doing whatever he felt like until the novelty of the trip wore off and then go home.
“Would you like to take a few items off?”
The tired voice of the clerk cut through his thoughts, and Phinks found that there had been no progress with the two in front of him.
“No no, we need all of it,” one of the men, a redhead, insisted, “we just, uh....”
Trailing off, the man glanced over to Phinks, who was still waiting with his single pack of beer. Then the man looked over to his companion and then back to the items on the counter.
Phinks could already sense what the man was going to ask of him before he spoke out.
“Hey man,” the guy said to Phinks, “I know it sounds bad, but do you think you could spot me on this? I'm bringing this stuff back for my party. We ran out of some stuff way quicker than we expected. Can't let people down, y'know?”
The redhead started telling him how much more they needed until the clerk interrupted him to tell him off for harassing other customers for money. A mini argument started between the two, with the man insisting that he wasn't harassing anyone and the clerk disagreeing with him. The man's friend joined in shortly after and it was quickly turning into a mess.
What obnoxious fucking people.
If he was in more of a bad mood he'd have probably snapped the necks of all of them. The presence of cameras stopped him from doing that, however, as it would just be too much of a pain to go to the back and destroy the footage after. Still, even though he didn't have anywhere to be, it didn't mean that he wanted to waste his time listening to people bicker. The easiest way out of this was to just give them the jenny so they'd all shut up.
After pulling out his wallet, Phinks slid the jenny across the counter.
That shut the three of them up, and the two men were quick to express their gratitude while the clerk just looked tired.
“Thank you so, so much, man,” the redhead continued after they collected their bagged items.
“Mm-hm.”
Phinks was only half-paying attention to him as he waited for the clerk to scan the beer so he could hand her the jenny owed. That transaction went much quicker and Phinks was soon making his way to the exit.
The two men seemed to be waiting on him, though.
“Hey, since you helped us out, you wanna come to my party?” the redhead asked.
Normally his automatic response would've been to give him a flat “no”. But in this instance Phinks just shrugged.
That seemed to give the redhead hope, and he began listing the reasons why Phinks should follow them back, like his “cool house”, hot women and great beer.
Given the especially cheap brand of beer Phinks had largely paid for, he had a hard time believing that last point. He also wasn't quite sure why this guy was so insistent on getting him to come along. Was it really just because Phinks had bothered to help them out?
“Name's Stu by the way. Back there is Billy,” the redhead told him, sticking out his arm to shake hands. When Phinks didn't do the same, Stu seemed a bit dejected, yet even that didn't make him back down from inviting Phinks.
“So how 'bout it, man? You wanna come?”
“.... I'll think about it,” he told him.
“Okay, but do it fast man. My place isn't that far from here.”
Phinks nodded, and Stu ran off to the car where his friend was waiting. The other guy didn't seem as keen on Phinks as the redhead had, regarding the blonde with suspicion. Phinks could hear him saying something as the two entered the car. Stu seemed to brush him off, and then their car doors closed and Phinks couldn't hear anything else.
The two ended up pulling out of the parking lot before he did, and Phinks found himself following them as they all made the same turn onto the highway.
He still had no real urge to go to some random guy's party, especially when he found him to be pretty annoying. And if it was a party filled with the friends of someone like that, he'd probably get irritated with all of them pretty quick. Better to just ignore them and be on his way.
Although the thought of just driving aimlessly through the night wasn't all that attractive, either. He'd done that several times now, and the feeling of being the only person in the world while he drove on the empty highway had lost its touch by now.
The car in front of him veered off the highway to get onto a side road.
After a few seconds, Phinks did the same, just thinking to himself 'why not?'. It would be something different, a little detour on a trip that was meant to be a distraction, and if it ended up being something that he didn't want to bother with, then he could just leave.
Although the noise level in the house wasn't quiet, it was nowhere near ear-shatteringly loud as Phinks may have expected. At least it had that in it's favor. Other than that, it was a stereotypical frat house party, with everyone talking and drinking as they got more and more shitfaced.
The two who brought him here vanished into the kitchen, and Phinks began to make his way around the house, sipping one of the cans of beer he had bought for himself since he had no interest in the shit the host had him pay for. A girl in one of the upstairs rooms noticed the beer in his hand and begged him to share with her, even going as far as to tug on the sleeve of his jacket when he told her no. He ended up pushing her away, and though he had tried to use as little force as possible, his strength combined with her tipsiness caused her to stumble back into a wall. She was still whining about him when he walked back down the stairs, going on about how mean he was.
He thought he'd been pretty nice to her, all things considered.
It didn't take long for Phinks to lose interest in this particular distraction. Not that he'd been expecting much, but after going around the house and not even seeing anything that might be worth stealing, he figured it'd be best to leave soon. With his short temper being one of his vices, he didn't want to deal with what would happen if some drunk got on his nerves and he smashed them into the wall.
With the sights, sounds and smells became grating to him and seeing no reason to stay any longer, Phinks went about trying to find an exit. Attempting to get out the same way he came in was put to a stop when he saw how congested the front entrance had become. He could've easily pushed past all of them, but since that would likely draw a fair amount of attention, maybe it'd be a better idea to find a different way out. Phinks wandered into the kitchen, walking by Stu who tried to talk to him. A patio door leading to the backyard caught his eye and he ignored the party's host as he walked by several people to get to it.
The cool air outside felt refreshing and he let out a soft sigh as the patio door slowly swung closed. Claustrophobia generally wasn't something he had an issue with, but that seemed to change a little when he was faced with a house full of drunken strangers who didn't understand the meaning of personal space. Another nice thing was the fact that no one else seemed to be out here. He didn't think it was that cold out, but it worked just fine if the people inside thought otherwise.
He stood on a deck with an assortment of patio furniture that sat in front of an in ground pool, and when he looked to the side, he saw the gate within the fencing that surrounded the backyard.
That was his way out, then.
With no more reason to stick around, he was about to head out and back to his car-
But he paused when he heard the sound of splashing water, and he looked back to the pool.
So he wasn't the only person out here.
Some of the patio furniture had blocked you from his sight so he hadn't noticed you at first, but you were now swimming out into the center of the pool and impossible to miss. It was pretty late in the year for swimming, wasn't it? Yet you seemed to be content with yourself despite the temperature and lack of company, swimming around the pool like you owned it. Maybe you did; he wasn't sure what your relation was to the party host.
Then your eyes met, and you smiled as you greeted him.
“Hello.”
“... Hey.”
He hadn't come out to look for company. He was looking to leave.
Yet something about this situation, about you, intrigued him, and Phinks walked forward, continuing with “isn't it a little late in the season for swimming?”
“That's what everyone seems to think,” you said, “it's going to be drained tomorrow, so I wanted to swim one more time before that. It's the last chance I'll get for this year.”
“No public pools around here?” he asked.
“I don't really like public pools,” you told him, laughing a little bit as you continued “the ones around here are never clean, and I don't wanna swim around in nasty water.”
Phinks couldn't say if he really had an opinion one way or the other. He tried to avoid situations where he'd need to be shirtless in public, as the spider with the number 5 on his ribs would've been a dead giveaway for anyone who understood it's meaning. He just shrugged at you as he said “fair enough.”
Phinks now stood at the edge of the pool while you swam up to the edge.
“I don't think I've seen you before. You new around here?” you asked him.
“No. Just passing through. Helped out the host at the gas station and he invited me as thanks,” Phinks explained, “I was expecting this to be taking place at some shitty apartment; didn't think a guy like that owned a house.”
“He doesn't, it belongs to his older brother Jed. Stu just lives with him,” you responded.
“Ah.”
That made a bit more sense to him. Since he hadn't been able to buy beer from a gas station on his own, it didn't seem likely that the guy would've had his own house. So he was just leeching off of his brother.
Despite being ready to leave just minutes earlier, he found that he now had a reason to want to stay here longer. But standing and talking to you was getting a little awkward, so Phinks sat himself down on the concrete next to the pool. So far you weren't annoying compared to some of the others. And despite being by yourself beforehand, you seemed pretty open to talking with him, resting your arms on the edge of the pool.
“You friends with them, then?”
“Jed is in a few of my classes, so I'm friends with him. Not Stu, though. He's kind of an asshole. Likes to play a lot of stupid pranks.”
You rested your chin in your hand as you thought back.
“He's destroyed two of my phones so far, both times by dumping water on me,” you said, “although I guess he did repay me for both, but it's still such a hassle to go through.”
“You're nicer than I am. If some guy like that fucked up my phone I'd kill him.”
You laughed at him, not taking his words seriously.
“You seem nice enough. You helped him out, right?”
“Only because it was the fastest way to get outta there. Stupid bastard started an argument with the clerk.”
“Yeah. That sounds like something he'd do,” you said, tiredness lacing your voice.
A cheer then sounded from inside the house, and though the doors and windows were closed, it was loud enough that the both of you could hear it from outside.
“Things must be ramping up in there,” you commented.
“Guess so,” Phinks said, taking a swig of his drink after.
“Isn't it kinda weird that you're keeping to yourself with an event like this? Don't see the point in going out if you're going to avoid people,” he added.
“But isn't that what you're doing by coming out here?” you asked.
“Nah, I was getting ready to leave.”
“What stopped you?”
“I haven't done much out here beside sitting here talking to you. What do you think?”
You seemed a bit taken aback and a little embarrassed as you realized the reason, but gave him a small smile.
“Oh wow. Are you saying I managed to be charming enough to keep a guy from leaving?” you asked him.
“No. You're just not as annoying as the others I've met tonight.”
Your expression was rather blank as you took in that information.
“..... I'll take that as a compliment, then,” you said, “so what do you do?”
“What do I do?”
“For a job, or just anything in general.”
“I do a couple odd jobs here and there, I guess,” he answered, “every once in a while a bigger opportunity comes up, and I just do whatever I need to.”
It was an oversimplification of his criminal activities, and he hoped that he'd been vague enough without sounding suspicious.
It appeared that he had as you didn't seem to think it was strange.
“You mentioned earlier that you were just passing through. Are you on your way to a job or something?”
“Nah. I'm currently off-duty. And I had a lot of time to kill, so I decided to take a road trip.”
“Oh, that sounds nice,” you said, “I work on campus, so I don't really get to do vacations for now. Can't remember the last time I went on one.”
“Job at least worth it?”
“Kind of? Although the other week I needed to go through something stupid.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. I got screamed at by a lady.”
Your tone made it seem like that was something happened on a regular basis.
“For what?” he asked.
“Something with her daughter's textbooks. She ordered one that she didn't need on accident but didn't want to admit that she made a mistake, so she just let her mother yell at me for forty minutes and claim that we were the ones who fucked up.”
You sighed a little after the explanation. Evidently that situation still made you frustrated.
“.... Did she apologize after?” Phinks asked.
With a slightly wistful smile, you shook your head as you said “people like that don't apologize.”
“Sounds rough.”
It went without saying that Phinks wouldn't have tolerated anything like that. If it had been him he'd have killed them both and tossed their bodies in the trash. But he kept that rather violent thought to himself.
“Sorry you needed to deal with that,” he added.
“It's okay. It's little things that keep you going,” you said, “I've been looking forward to swimming for a while, so I'm pretty happy right now. Although I guess I'm kinda doing a job right now.”
“How so?”
“Jed's at his job right now, and since he doesn't trust Stu, he asked me to make sure nothing happens to the pool. The last time Stu had a party there was a bunch of trash in it the next morning, and it was a pain to clean up. So in exchange for using the pool, I have full permission to snitch on anyone who tosses anything.”
“Yeah? What's snitching gonna do?”
“Jed's a scary guy. Nobody wants to make him mad.”
If Phinks had felt like being more of an asshole, and if you'd been unpleasant during your conversation with him, he probably would've taken his half-finished beer can and thrown it into the pool just to upset you and also to see if your friend was as scary as you were making him out to be.
But so far he'd been enjoying himself, so as fun as that thought might have been, he decided against it.
You pulled one of your arms off of the rim and back into the water. Evidently you were getting cold, but you held on to the edge to continue speaking to him.
“So how long have you been on your trip?” you asked.
“A few weeks.”
“A few weeks? You must have been all over the place, then. Did you go anywhere in particular?”
“Not really,” Phinks answered, “didn't have any real plan when I set out. Just drove to wherever I thought would be interesting.”
“That's kinda cool,” you said, “must be nice to be able to go wherever you want without any real plan.”
“You can't?”
“Nope. Classes and work means I can't just run off whenever I feel like it.”
“Too busy getting screamed at?” he asked jokingly.
“Yeah, something like that,” you answered, laughing a little after.
You pulled your other arm back underwater and just kept a hand on the side of the wall.
“Cold?” he asked.
“A little.”
“Probably why most people aren't swimming this late.”
“I don't care; it's worth it,” you said, “honestly, the thought of being able to swim was what kept me going this week.”
That.... Was a little bit sad, Phinks thought to himself. That all you had to look forward to at the end of the week was a few hours to swim by yourself in the cold. There were much sadder circumstances in the world – he was certain that anyone from Meteor City would be more than happy to switch places with you – but your life must have felt empty. Although Phinks was technically in the same boat at the moment, at least being with the troupe gave him purpose. What did you have besides a shitty job and presumably a fair amount of college debt? Just the 'little things' to keep you going?
Maybe he was presuming too much; he'd only just met you after all. But it bothered him regardless.
“What are your plans for after college?” he asked.
You seemed a bit startled, and you looked away from him for the first time.
“Not really sure, actually. I'm still undecided on my major,” you admitted, “I need to figure out soon, though. I'm going to run out of the basic coursework that I need to get through, and my family is getting mad that I haven't made a decision yet.”
So you didn't have any direction and were being pressured by others. Still not the saddest circumstance ever, but if it had been him, Phinks was certain he'd have been miserable.
You clearly didn't want to keep going on about that particular subject, as you began to ask him questions about his trip, wanting to know where exactly he had been so far and how much longer he planned to drive for. The change in topics was obvious, but he decided to go along with it.
As the night grew darker while the two of you talked, he decided that he liked you. You could hold a decent conversation, even if the things you two talked about weren't all that meaningful.
You were pretty cute, too.
The party behind him still seemed to be going strong, but it was largely going ignored by you both, in part by the fact that you were still the only ones outside.
Your face lit up as a thought came to mind.
“You should come in!” you told him.
“No thanks.”
“Come on! It's really nice!”
You grabbed at his free hand, tugging on his arm lightly as you tried to encourage him to get into the pool.
“If you get my suit wet I'll drown you,” Phinks said told you.
You giggled, once more not taking him seriously. Though he was only half-serious about it at this point.
“Then take it off and come in,” you insisted.
“I don't have a swimsuit.”
“That doesn't stop most people.
“Good to know,” he said flatly.
Though you'd stopped tugging on his arm, both of your hands remained on his wrist as you looked up at him.
“Can you not swim?” you asked.
“I can swim fine,” he said, “I just don't feel like it right now.”
You seemed a bit disappointed, but you had yet to let go of his wrist.
“Should you really be that surprised with the temperature being what it is?” he asked you.
“It isn't that bad. And the pool is heated,” you insisted, “didn't think a bit of chill would scare off the most interesting person at this party, though.”
The corner of his lips curled a bit at that. He wasn't one for meaningless flattery, but he didn't mind hearing you say things like that.
“Is that why you're not letting go of me?”
“You don't seem to be doing much to shake me off.”
“I could if I wanted to.”
“So you don't want to?”
You were teasing him. And while he could tease you back, he went for a different approach.
He yanked his wrist out of your grip and grabbed your own wrist just as fast, and lifted you up until you were eye level with him. To say you were flustered by the action would've been an understatement, and your free hand grasped at the arm that held you up to lessen the weight on the arm that he had trapped.
With you partially out of the water, Phinks allowed his eyes to travel over your form, following the trails of water that dripped down your skin and imagining exactly what you looked like under that swimsuit. His grin got wider when he saw your body reacting to the cooler temperature and the way your nipples showed through the material. It hadn't been on his mind when he first approached you, but after spending time with you he found himself liking the idea of fooling around with you. Probably not in the house, and he doubted you would want to do anything in the pool due to that friend of yours you had mentioned. Maybe there was some dark corner around here where he could take you to do what he wanted.
You were squirming a little, trying to free yourself from his grip.
“It's cold,” you whined.
“Yep,” was his reply.
“Come on, let go. I'm only in a swimsuit.”
“You weren't letting me go,” he pointed out.
“Yeah, but I didn't pull you into the water.”
“Because you're too weak to do that.”
“That's not fair!”
“Don't think this is a situation where fairness matters, sweetheart.”
With that he let you go, and you dropped back down into the pool. You pushed away from the wall after, giving him a slightly sour look.
“Problem?” he asked.
“It's cold,” you repeated.
He just smirked.
“You're gonna need to deal with it at some point,” he told you.
“Yeah, but I wasn't ready for it then!”
You had to have noticed the way he looked at you, right? There was no way you were so oblivious to have not seen how he had blatantly looked you over. Yet you weren't mentioning it.
By now you were more at the center of the pool, pointedly out of his range.
“You done talking?” Phinks asked.
“No, but I don't want you pulling me out again.”
Then you looked away like you were embarrassed.
It clicked for him. You must have liked it, but you were too shy to say anything about it.
Your reluctance was cute, though Phinks knew he'd get tired of that game pretty fast.
“Come back over,” he told you.
“Why?”
“Because I want you to.”
You shook your head.
“You're going to do that again, right?” you asked.
“Maybe.”
“Then no. I don't wanna get out yet.”
“How long are you gonna stay in there?”
“Until I feel like getting out.”
“And if I want you out of there now?”
“Then you'd have to come in and get me.”
…. Oh
That's what it was.
A ploy by you to get him into the pool.
That's what you had to mean by those words, right?
“.... What the hell,” he said to himself as he stood.
It got your attention when he began to remove his clothing, throwing them over to a few neatly folded articles of clothing that sat next to a bag on the patio, which he assumed belonged to you. You were watching him closely, and he could sense a growing interest in you when he removed his shirt. Your eyes lingered a little when you caught sight of his spider tattoo, but there was no hint that you recognized what it meant, which was preferable.
“Enjoying the show?” he asked.
“You were looking at me earlier,” you answered defensively, “you're not allowed to get mad when I do the same.”
“Didn't say I was mad.”
You acknowledging the way he had looked at you then just reaffirmed in his head that you hadn't minded, and after stripping down to his boxers, Phinks jumped in. The water felt just as nice as you had said, but he didn't take much time to focus on it as he was quick to approach you. Within moments, he had wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in close, lifting you a little so you were at eye level with him. You seemed flustered again, but you didn't make any move to get away, and were resting your hands on his chest.
“I don't think you told me your name,” you whispered to him.
“Phinks.”
“Phinks,” you repeated, smiling afterwards, “I like it. It's cool.”
“Thanks,” he replied, “and how 'bout you?”
You gave him your name, which he also repeated to himself.
“Not as cool as 'Phinks', I guess,” you said.
“It suits you,” he said.
You smiled at him, then shifted slightly in his grip.
“Are you just gonna keep holding me?”
“You said I needed to come in and get you.”
“And what did you want to 'get' me for?”
Despite the question, you clearly had an idea of what Phinks was after as you began to move in closer to him. Phinks did the same, and slowly, the gap between the two of you was closed as your lips met together in a kiss.
With the heavy scent of pool chemicals that surrounded you two, it was hard to smell much else, but your lips were soft against his. The kiss was a bit tame for his liking, but he let you do what you wanted for now as you readjusted your arms so they were wrapped around his neck.
One of his hands slid down your back to reach down and squeeze your ass, and you gasped into the kiss. He slipped his tongue into your mouth for a brief moment before you pulled away, your hand over your mouth as you looked away in embarrassment.
“I'm not sure we should do much more here,” you said, glancing up at the house behind him, “there are people watching. I'm not into that.”
“Where do you wanna go?” he asked. It didn't surprise him much that you two might have attracted an audience, and when he heard the door to the patio open from behind him, he chose to ignore it.
“I don't think we'll get much privacy here, so how about my place?” you asked.
“Do you usually bring home strangers?”
“Only the really cool ones.”
He grinned.
You were leaning in to kiss him again when you suddenly froze and turned your attention to something behind Phinks.
“Don't do that!” you yelled.
Phinks turned his head just in time to see his and your clothes land in the water, with the guy who'd invited him – Stu, he remembered – pointing and laughing after having thrown them. The annoying woman from earlier, the one who had whined at him for his can of beer, was also there, standing behind Stu and running off with him towards the gate in the fence.
Phinks saw red.
He let you go and swiftly exited the pool, following after the two even as the chill of the night air nipped at his skin. He barely felt it, and he didn't give a shit that he was running around barefoot either. All of his focus was on catching up to those two assholes who'd dumped his clothes in the pool.
He was angry enough that he didn't notice the sound of feet following after him.
The two perpetrators were in an alleyway between two rows of houses, drunkenly laughing their asses off. Their demeanor didn't change when Phinks caught up to them. The woman actually began to laugh harder, probably because Phinks was still wearing only his boxers.
Stu was trying to contain himself a bit, and put his hands up as an offering of peace.
“Hey man, it wasn't anything personal. Just a prank,” he said, “you can use the dryer, and I'll lend you some clothes-”
His sentence was cut off when Phinks grabbed both sides of his head and twisted it completely around, the cracking of his broken neck ringing out in the empty alley.
The sight of Stu falling to the ground with his head facing the wrong way had the woman instantly sober up, and she looked to Phinks as she opened her mouth to scream.
Barely a whisper of sound was able to escape as he did the same thing to her, and now Phinks was standing half-naked in an alley with two dead bodies.
“Obnoxious fucking people,” he muttered to himself.
Then there was noise that came from behind him.
Phinks turned and saw the other guy who'd been at the gas station on the ground, his arms barely supporting himself as his eyes were wide at the sight of his friends dead before him.
His eyes widened even further when he spotted the spider on Phinks' ribs, clearly recognizing what it meant as he whispered “oh my god.”
Make that three bodies, Phinks thought to himself as he rushed forward to snap his neck as well.
Three bodies that he needed to get rid of. If anyone else from the party came out here and found them, the police would be called immediately. He had no intentions of staying here any longer, but it'd be best to put a bit of distance between himself and the crime scene before the police were inevitably called.
He was dragging the other guy by his ankles and in the process of collecting the woman's body when someone walked out into the alley through one of the other entrances. An older woman, who was definitely not from the party and had come from another house, carrying a bag of trash walked out in front of Phinks, and like the guy right before, her eyes grew wide as she saw the sight of the dead before her.
She made a move to run back to her house, but Phinks picked up a pebble that he infused with nen and launched it at her head. It traveled through her skull and the fencing beside her, and blood sprayed out from the exit wound and splattered onto the fence as well as she fell to the ground.
This was turning into a goddamn mess, and after Phinks had thrown now four bodies over into a different backyard, he heard a voice calling out “mom?” from the direction that the woman with the trash bag had come from.
Fuck this. He needed to go.
When he returned to the backyard to retrieve his clothes, he found you on the patio. You were holding his jacket over the concrete, desperately trying to wring out the water that had soaked it completely. You were visibly shivering as you did so, with goosebumps running up your arms and your teeth chattering. He noticed his pants hanging off the fence that surrounded the patio, and while they weren't dry by any means, you had clearly done your best to get the water out of them. Meanwhile your own clothes laid in a soggy heap by your equally soaked bag.
You noticed him when he walked closer.
“I'm sorry,” you told him. You looked guilty for some reason.
“You didn't do it,” Phinks said, considerably calmer now.
“No. But I made a big deal about you getting in with me, and with Stu around I should've been paying attention. I'm really, really sorry.”
He was about to tell you to stop apologizing when he heard a shout coming from the direction of the alleyway.
Fuck. He forgot that he needed to leave.
Luckily you were the only one who noticed, as the rest of the party goers still had the doors and windows securely shut. He pulled on his pants and his sopping wet tank top, and the sensation of wearing those wet clothes was just as unpleasant as he had anticipated. At least his shoes were still dry.
You were still holding his jacket, looking confused as you looked off in the direction where you'd heard that voice. Phinks was about to just take it from you and leave, but when he looked you over again, he thought over the things you two had talked about, the things you had said and how you'd acted around him, and he came to a split second decision.
Grabbing your clothes and bag, he shoved them into your hands before he grabbed one of your arms and pulled you after him. You seemed startled, but you didn't question him as you were too surprised to think of anything to say. He led you out through the backyard and down to where he had parked his car, opening the passenger side door and pushing you inside. He then walked around to the driver's side, and within moments you both were speeding out of the neighborhood.
By the time he came to the highway there was a strong smell of pool chemicals that filled the car, and both of the front seats were slowly soaking up the excess water that dripped off of the two of you.
You seemed to be in a mild state of shock, as you had yet to say anything. You just sat in your still wet swimsuit looking rather confused while you still held onto the soaked clothing Phinks had forced onto you.
After a while you shuddered and finally spoke up.
“Do you think you could turn up the heat?” you asked him.
“Oh. Sure. Sorry.”
Phinks turned the heat up all the way, and after a few moments you seemed to relax a bit, though now you were glancing over at him while smiling nervously.
“Uh, so, there's a lot that I should probably be questioning,” you began, “but I'll start with if you knew why there was yelling?”
Should he lie? No, that might be weird if he pretended not to know.
“I punched that guy in the face. I think I broke his nose,” he told you, “that was likely his friend after he saw him.”
“Ah. Okay,” you said, “that's..... Not very good, but I think I get why you did that. You're gonna get charged with assault, though.”
Fat chance.
“I'll deal with that when I come to that,” he answered, “sorry if I put you in a tough position.”
“It's okay. Well, not really. But Stu's pranks have always been pretty bad and what he did was shitty, so I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later.”
“Think you can forgive me?”
“... Yeah, I think so. Just promise you won't do anything like that again.”
“I promise.”
“Okay,” you said as you nodded, “so second question: where are we going?”
“.... Not sure. Didn't have much of a plan besides getting out of there and going back to what I was doing,” Phinks admitted.
“So you're just back to driving around going wherever?”
“Seems like it.”
“Why did you bring me along?” you asked.
“.... Didn't want that to be the last time I saw you,” he said.
“Oh.....”
His answer ended up making you flustered again, and while you did seem to be holding some reservations about him with his admission of violence and the fact that he really had just kidnapped you, he could see you rationalizing everything in your mind and convincing yourself that this wasn't all that bad.
It was preferable if you did that. It made taking you with him a lot easier.
“Luckily for me I don't work tomorrow,” you said, “and since the day after that is Sunday and the campus store isn't open then, I also have that day off. So I think it's okay if I drive around with you for a bit. Just get me back by Sunday night, alright?”
“Don't worry. I'll get you back safe and sound,” he told you, and you visibly relaxed at his words.
You were a little naive, a little too trusting. But that was fine. Phinks liked that about you.
“Okay so third question,” you announced as you looked down at the wet clothes in your lap, “what should we do about this?”
“Right. Let me pull over.”
He stopped the car beneath a streetlight, and you sat sideways on the passengers seat while you held the clothes out of the car and wrung the water out of them as best you could. Phinks took the opportunity to change after you handed him his jacket, and he threw the mostly damp clothes in the backseat.
Glancing over at you, he did appreciate how much your swimsuit showed off while you tried to dry out your own clothes. But while he liked the idea of you staying as you were for the rest of the trip, you probably wouldn't be as big of a fan of that. Going over to his trunk once more, he dug around through his bag before he found what he was looking for.
“I don't have anything that will fit you well,” Phinks said as he made his way over to you, “but this should cover you up.”
What he handed you was the long white robe he wore on occasion, usually for combat or missions.
You seemed a bit surprised when you saw it, but you accepted it gratefully. Your gaze went to the jeweled eye that hung near the neck of the garment, and he heard you mumble about it being pretty.
He wondered briefly what you might think of the snake headpiece he usually wore with it, but the time for that would come later as you were currently slipping his robe over your head.
“Thank you,” you told him again as you threw your clothing in the back as well.
Then your attention went to your bag, and you frowned.
“What's wrong?”
In response to his question, you tilted your bag to the side and water began to pour out of it.
“Ah.”
“How much do you wanna bet that my phone is dead?” you asked as you reached inside.
As was expected, your phone screen stayed black when you hit the power button, and you sighed.
“And that's phone number three that Stu has destroyed.”
“Don't worry. It won't happen again,” he told you.
“You sure?”
“Positive.”
You tossed the now useless phone into your bag and looked back up to him as if to say “so what now?”
Phinks had an idea for that.
“Wanna go to a motel?”
“A motel? Wow, you sure know how to treat someone,” you said sarcastically.
“You really think I can get you into a nice hotel with you looking like that? You don't even have shoes,” he said.
“I didn't get a chance to grab them,” you responded, though you seemed to concede a bit.
“Could we stop somewhere tomorrow so I can get shoes or something?”
“I'll buy you a whole new wardrobe if that's what you want.”
You laughed at that, shaking your head and saying that you didn't need that.
Before too long, Phinks was back in the drivers seat while you watched the streetlights as the car passed them by, your fingers idly playing with the jewel on his robes as you did so. He had turned down the heat and turned on the radio, and though it still felt strange to be sitting in the wet seats, it wasn't bothering either of you as much anymore. The smell from the pool was mostly gone after driving a bit with the windows opened just a crack.
Except for the occasional car that drove in the opposite direction, you were the only ones on the highway.
“How far are you gonna drive?” you eventually asked.
He wanted to get out of the state at least. Phinks didn't want to deal with a confrontation with the law while also taking you along with him. He wanted to get as far as he could while you were still cooperative, and whenever you realized that there was no chance he'd be taking you back, he'd go to more extreme measures of keeping you with him. Your phone being dead was a good thing for him; you wouldn't be able to try and get help as easily.
“I think we've passed by three or four motels already,” you added, “was there something wrong with them?”
“No. Sorry. I got a bit distracted,” Phinks replied, “I've come to really like the highway at night. There's something soothing about it, I guess. Wanted to stay like this for a bit longer.”
You nodded in response and looked back out the window, your fingers still playing with the jeweled eye.
“Can I borrow your phone at some point tomorrow? I need to call someone just so everyone back home knows I'm okay. Don't want them to worry,” you said to him.
“Sure,” he said.
Arguing with you over that would seem strange. He'd just need to avoid that subject tomorrow.
He noticed when you yawned.
“Getting tired?” he asked.
“A little,” you said, laughing a little as you added, “this wasn't how I was expecting my night to go.”
“Same here.”
“I hope you decide to stop soon. I might not be up for it tonight if you're planning on continuing where we left off at the pool when we reach that motel.”
“That's fine. We'll have all day tomorrow, right?”
His words made you embarrassed again, and you shyly answered with a yes as you smiled to yourself.
So that was the plan, then. Drive as far as he could tonight, fuck your brains out tomorrow, then get away further before you figured things out. You would likely object, not liking the idea of being taken away from everything you'd ever known. But he was certain that after spending enough time with him, you'd prefer it. Your current life wasn't any good, but he was prepared for you to not understand that at first. And if he needed to tie you up and shove you into the trunk to keep you compliant, he could do that. Seemed like a pretty fool-proof plan.
You were yawning again.
“Get some sleep if you need to,” he said, “I'll wake you up when I find a place I like.”
You nodded. Soon after he saw you settling back into the seat and closing your eyes as you attempted to get some rest.
He liked the sight of you next to him, sitting in his clothes while you nodded off in his car. And when he turned his attention back to the empty highway, he was once again hit with the feeling like he was the only one in the world. A feeling that only came with seeing an area that was typically full of people seem completely abandoned.
But this time, though, he wasn't alone.
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wri0thesley · 3 years
Text
A Well Rounded Education (1): Suspension (Fem!Reader x Toji Fushiguro, 5k)
series synopsis: You are a teacher’s aid to teacher Gojo Satoru, training to be able to take over your own class next year by shadowing and helping him out. Gojo does not make things easy for anybody.
chapter synopsis: One of your favourite students has been suspended for fighting, and Gojo has palmed off the meeting with his guardian to go through all of the paperwork and facts and conditions on you. “Don’t worry,” Gojo says. “It’ll be Megumi’s sister, she always takes care of this kind of stuff!”. Gojo is wrong.
NSFW. AFAB reader, fem pronouns. dom/sub dynamics, light fearplay and predator/prey elements. piv sex.
(a well rounded education m.list and navigation)
1.
“I’ve got all these other parents to deal with,” Gojo whines at you, pushing the papers into your hands. “And I hate paperwork, and I don’t have time to meet with Megumi’s family today – hell, if it were up to me, the kid wouldn’t even be suspended! Those guys had it coming!”
Gojo is not a very good teacher. Both of you know that – no matter how justified – violence never solves violence. Gojo, you think, would let these kids fight it out in an arena instead of solving things like an adult. You heave a large sigh as you look down at the papers detailing Megumi Fushiguro’s three-day suspension for fighting during school hours.
You’d seen Megumi before he’d gone home. He hadn’t had so much as a scratch on him; his face set in a frown, his arms crossed, his eyes downcast. You’d sighed at him and asked him if he was alright, and he’d shrugged.
He’s not a very talkative boy at the best of times, and you suppose that the suspension and the fight and the mini uproar it had caused in the school aren’t helping be any more verbose. You’d said goodbye to him and said that you hoped he thought about what had transpired today, your heart aching a little bit that you couldn’t be any more help to him.
You’d seen the three boys Megumi had got into a fight with, too. They had not gotten off so scot-free – they were bleeding noses, scraped cheeks, bruised eyes. At the very least, you don’t think any of them will get on Megumi’s wrong side again.
Gojo has to meet with all three of their parents tonight to give them the full story of why their children are so roughed up and what’s being done about it; a position that’s been doled out to him, you’re sure, because Principal Masamichi blames him for the incident and is punishing him. You can’t deny that seeing Gojo actually get punished for something is nice, but--
“Won’t they be mad to see me instead of you?” You ask him, biting your lip. “I mean . . . you’re his teacher. I’m just your aid.”
“Oh,” Gojo’s eyebrows rise behind his glasses. “No, it’ll be Megumi’s sister who’ll come, she’s a sweetheart! She’ll nod at you and say mournfully that she’ll talk to him and you’ll give her the paperwork, and that’s all – job done! Honestly, if I could palm this off on you and talk to Tsumiki instead, I’d do it in a heartbeat--”
“This is your job,” you tell him, exasperated, and he laughs wide and open. You’re not really supposed to get like this with him – if he were any other teacher, you’re sure that the exasperation and sighing and half-snapping you do would have had you thrown out of their class – but Gojo treats your irritation with him as if it’s the funniest thing that has ever happened. “You’re supposed to be good at dealing with this kind of thing!”
He shrugs.
“You’ll be fine!” He tells you, again. “Honestly, this isn’t the first time this has happened with Megumi and it won’t be the last. That kid’s got a right hook that could knock out an elephant!”
You do not ask him how he knows this. Asking too many questions of Gojo is always flirting with danger; you never know when his mouth will flash into a grin and you’ll suddenly be barraged with a flood of words and stories that don’t quite make sense and never seem to have a concrete end. But you can’t resist one last question – just in case it comes up. After all, it seems that Gojo has spoken to Tsumiki enough times for him to at least kind of know her--
“His sister?”
Gojo looks at you, and for a moment the shroud of capricious energy lifts from him, and he seems entirely serious. You’ve noticed this particular change in him only a few times – and often, those times have been about the more difficult backstories of students.
“His father isn’t around very often,” he says, eventually. “He’s some kind of something or other, Megumi never really says, but whatever he does, there’s a lot of travelling involved. Tsumiki’s his older sister – she’s twenty one, and she’s been more of a parent to him than it seems like his dad has.”
No wonder Megumi always seems suspicious and tired of Gojo. Something about his flighty nature probably strokes the back of Megumi’s psyche, where annoyances about an absent father are kept. You sigh, turning away and shaking your head to rid yourself of the idea of psychoanalysing the students.
“Alright,” you say wearily. “I’ll talk to Tsumiki.”
2.
You’re nervous as you set up for the meeting. You know Gojo had said that this would be easy, that Tsumiki was very sweet and would probably apologise to you for Megumi being a problem – but still! This is the first time you’ve ever met any of your students’ guardian figures in any capacity. You feel kind of bad that it had to be for this kind of news, actually – ordinarily, you like Megumi a lot. He’s very intense and serious and clever, and you think that he has a bright future ahead of him when the trials of being a twelve year old boy finally are over – but this meeting isn’t for saying things like that. This meeting is for giving details of the three day suspension that Megumi has gotten for – you check the paperwork again – fighting three boys by himself on one of the sports courts, making them bleed and . . . breaking one of their arms? No wonder Gojo had seemed so miserable at the thought of meeting with the victims’ parents.
You sigh, running a hand through your hair, making sure that it still sits as neatly as you’d arranged it that morning. You check the clock to see you still have two minutes before anyone is due – you discreetly check your lipstick in a compact mirror (yesterday you’d had it on your teeth and you hadn’t realised until Mai had pointed it out with a laugh in her voice), smooth out your pencil skirt, tug at your stockings to make sure they’re pulled up and not wrinkling about your ankles . . .
And then, you wait.
The clock is straight across from you, so you’re able to see as Tsumiki is five minutes late, and then ten minutes late, and then fifteen. The tick-tock echoes in the room as your leg bounces against the floor, anxiety making you want to gnaw all of the carefully applied lipstick off of your mouth. From what Gojo had said, this doesn’t sound like Tsumiki at all – you’re just about to give up and pack all of your things away, figuring maybe she’d called into the office to say she couldn’t make it and telling you had been neglected, when the door slams open.
You rush to your feet, your sensible heels clacking on the ground.
“Miss Fushi--”
Your voice peters away.
The person stood in the doorway is, you’re certain, absolutely not Tsumiki Fushiguro.
For one thing, it’s a man. For another thing . . . well. You’re not entirely sure that a man with that expression on his face would ever be described to anyone as a ‘sweetheart’. Your frightened eyes linger on him for another moment, really taking in the broad shoulders and the muscles and the hair falling over his face, the dark, green eyes that are glaring at you like you’ve interrupted something very important. There’s a scar by his mouth that you also do your best not to stare at, just in the same way you avoid staring at how the form-fitting t-shirt he’s wearing clings to a muscled abdomen.
“It’s Mr, actually,” he says, which seems absurd in the face of him, standing there. He raises one eyebrow at you. “You were expecting my daughter, right?”
(You don’t know it, but Toji Fushiguro has gotten a read on you in less than a moment. He’s seen the wide eyes and the pretty mouth and the neatly appointed outfit, the pencil tucked behind your ear, the slightest tremble faced with his imposing presence – the fear as you’d seen the scar and the smoulder and the body. You’re adorable.)
“I . . . uuh--” Your cheeks are hot. You nod, weakly, and he walks into the room proper, the door swinging shut behind him with a deafening click. There’s danger in every one of this man’s movements, like a wolf who has finally cornered a little rabbit. You are feeling inexorably like prey, at this moment in time.
“I was expecting a man,” he says, shrugging. He sits at the chair in front of Gojo’s desk, pulled up just for him. He looks huge in the classroom; his shoulders too wide, his biceps bulging from the sleeve of the shirt. You don’t think this man was intending to be in a school classroom right now. “I guess you’re not Mr Gojo, huh? Gotta say,” he shoots you a grin that’s dangerous, everything about him is threatening. “I much prefer this development.”
“Oh,” you’re blustering, and it’s so cute. You sit back down in the chair with a quiet displacement of air, agitation in your fingers as you rake through the papers on the desk. Said desk is incredibly messy; Toji doesn’t think it’s yours. He ought to feel mad that they’ve palmed him off on some little assistant who’s probably not even fully qualified yet – instead, he’s watching your hands trembling and your teeth nibbling on your pretty mouth. “Y-yes, G-Gojo’s dealing with the parents of the other party--”
“My kid got into a fight, yeah?” He asks. “Decked ‘em pretty good, from what I heard.” You wince at his words, and that’s cute too.
“Megumi’s a good boy,” you say. “He’s just . . . got his own sense of justice, I think.” You look down at the papers, and your eyes seem to focus, back in a more comforting zone. “He’s been suspended for three days, and when he comes back, he’s on probation.”
“What’s that mean for him?” Toji asks, promptly, though something about the way he says it suggests to you he doesn’t really care. There’s a lightness, an airiness in his tone that sets you all off-kilter.
“It just means we’ll probably keep an especial eye on him. He’ll get a report that’ll need signing off on at the end of every period, someone will check up on it--” You see one of Gojo’s scrawled notes in the margin of the paperwork. You wince. “I’ll be in charge of it, actually. Making sure everyone’s happy with his behaviour for a few weeks--”
“How old are you, sweetheart?”
The question makes you jump. You’re like a doe in headlights, looking up at him. You blink slowly.
“I—I don’t think that’s an appropriate question, Mr Fushiguro,” you say, prim. That’s cute, too. He likes breaking prim and proper things like you. “I’m—I’m doing my training. I’m working as an aid here for a year, and then I’ll be qualified to be in charge of my own class.” There’s a hint of pride in your words, there.
“Toji,” he says. “That’s my name. You haven’t gotta call me ‘Mr Fushiguro’. I’m not tryna’ be pushy,” but he’s inched forward. His elbows are resting on Gojo’s desk, in front of you – he rests his chin on his folded hands, sharp eyes regarding you as if you’re something he wants to devour. “Y’just look tense.”
“This is the first time I’ve met a student’s parent,” you admit, though the minute it’s left your mouth you’re regretting it. Like you’re admitting to some kind of weakness. This close to him, you can see there’s a dark red stain on one of his wrists, like dried blood. Your stomach is tying itself in knots. It’s not helping that his forearms are so big, ridged with muscle.
“That so?” His eyes gleam. “What d’ya think of me?”
You don’t actually need to answer him. He can see it in the way your eyes keep nervously skimming over him. The way your lips are shining in the light. The bob of your throat as you swallow.
“Mr Fushiguro--”
“I told you to call me Toji,” his voice is almost mocking. You watch him lean over the table like you’re somewhere far away from the action – watch his hand reach out and cup your face, calloused thumb brushing your cheek, like you’re a ghost in the corner of the room. His palms feel like they’re burning hot. “You’re tremblin’, little lamb.”
You had thought you’d felt like a rabbit – shy, ready to run at any moment. But the moment his hand is on you, you’re docile – too scared to scamper away. You suppose you are like a lamb, staring a wolf straight on in the face, too stupid or too pliant to use your common sense and run.
“I . . . I shouldn’t,” you say, voice trembling just as much as the rest of you. Toji’s smirk hasn’t left his face. You’re saying you shouldn’t, but he just bets if he reached further down and unbuttoned your blouse, your nipples would pebble for him – he just bets there’s a wet stain on your underwear, right now. He can always tell when someone’s turned on by the idea of playing with fire.
“I wouldn’t mind spendin’ a few weeks with you in charge of me,” he muses, and then chuckles humourlessly, correcting himself. “Sorry. Lemme rephrase that. I’d rather be in charge of you, but--”
Oh, he sees that. The little flash in your eyes, an imperceptible contract of your shoulders. If you weren’t behind the desk, he bets he’d have seen your thighs press together too. Girls like you are just so fucking predictable, and he loves it every single time. There’s just something that’s so much fun about breaking them – making them submit, admit that him being so close with the scent of something-that-might-be-death clinging to him turns them on like nothing else. Your attempts at being haughty and polite and proud have just made the stirring between his thighs harder to ignore. You’re such a cute, neat, demure little thing – by the end of this meeting, he’s going to have his way with you, you bet.
“M-Mr Fushiguro,” you say, trying to wrest back control of yourself – honestly, he’s pissed you aren’t listening to him, but the title’s kind of endearing. You’re trying so hard! Pity you’re going to lose all of your manners when you’re bent over this desk with his cock inside you. You haven’t even moved your face away from his hand. “I-I have to give you these papers.”
He stands up, pulling his own touch away from your cheek. Stretches. Your eyes are drawn to the brief expanse of his stomach, just above his trousers – the dark line of hair leading down to . . . Oh, God. You shouldn’t have thought about that. The grin on his face is cocky, and you know that he knows you were looking.
“I’m just gonna throw ‘em in the trash, sweetheart,” he says to you. “Now. Let’s talk about the elephant in the room, yeah?” He steps closer to you. You totter to your feet, half-unsure, half driven by the low ache between your legs and the thrum of desire that’s been reverberating through you since the moment he’d carelessly thrown out how much happier he was to see you than Gojo. You have to tilt your head up a little when he comes closer. You’d thought you realised how massive he was when he’d walked through the door, but that’s nothing compared to how his size seems to dwarf you. Every unkind thought you’ve ever had about your body or your face seems to have gone out of the window as his heated green gaze hungrily drinks you in. You know it’s the stare of some predator who’s going to devour you, and you still feel transformed. Your breath catches in your throat as his hand idly comes to the top of your blouse buttons, a finger brushing the place in your throat where your pulse is beating its unsteady rhythm.
“Whaddya say, little lamb?” He grins down at you. “Gonna let yourself be caught by the big bad wolf?”
You’re supposed to be telling this man about his son’s misbehaviour, giving him all of the paperwork that Gojo had thrust at you, getting him to say he’ll talk to his kid and try and make sure that it won’t happen again. You shouldn’t be tipping your head back further, letting his fingertips lodge dangerously in the hollow of your throat, flirting with the place where your windpipe is. You shouldn’t be breathing out, all of your pretty prissiness and good morals and pride disappearing where you stand in the face of one of your students’ really hot dad.
“Yes,” you breathe.
And Toji wastes no time.
3.
He doesn’t even bother unbuttoning your blouse; just drags his hand down, and the buttons pop off, scattering on the floor. You gasp at the show of strength, and Toji is still grinning, clearly enjoying that you’re admiring him. His hand pulls at the fabric, until your breasts are fair falling out of it, the blouse wrestles off your skin.
“You’re wearin’ something like this at work?” He asks you, giving a tug to the gore of your bra. You hadn’t done enough washing this week, and the one you’re wearing is all filmy white lace. “Almost like you knew I was comin’ huh?” His grin is crooked. You tremble as you reach behind you, undoing the clasp – and for that, you get a murmur of ‘good girl’ that has your knees turning to jelly.
He whistles as the bra drops from you, his gaze admiring. He takes in the spill of your breasts, the little peaks of your nipples. He takes handfuls of them, squeezing them in his big hands, his fingertips digging in so painfully you can imagine that you’ll have bruises in the shape of his fingers tomorrow. The idea doesn’t disgust you.
He lowers his head to kiss you. He’s not gentle with you for a moment – his teeth immediately nip at your bottom lip, kissing you hungrily like you’re the first taste of sugar for a man who’s lived on nothing but bread for months. His tongue licks at your lips, begging entrance – dancing against your own when you helplessly open those same lips, demanding in the exact same way Toji is.
He pinches your nipple between thumb and forefinger, delighting in how quickly the bud hardens. He rolls it between them, toying with it, enjoying the soft noises you make that get caught in his mouth. If he wasn’t kissing you, he thinks, you’d be bleating like a lamb right now. Huffing and whimpering. When he finally gets his cock in you, he’ll have to remember to clap a hand over your mouth so you don’t attract too much attention.
Your other nipple is given the same treatment, hot lightning bolts of pleasure ricocheting from the touch of Toji’s calloused fingers to the spot between your legs. You’re grateful for how solid Toji is – if he were any less so, you’re sure you’d be buckling over where you stand.
He pulls back with a final, marking nip to your lower lip, almost hard enough to make you bleed. You whine, and a dark chuckle spills out of his lips in response.
“Toji,” you whimper as he pulls away. You miss the feel of his body pressed against yours like a physical ache. His hands encircle your thighs, pushing you up onto the edge of Gojo’s desk, clever fingers already pushing your tight pencil skirt up so it’s bunched around your waist.
He kind of misses ‘Mr Fushiguro’ now it’s gone, but the sight of your stockings digging into your thighs soon chases the thought from his mind. He guesses your skirt is more than long and tight enough to make sure nobody gets a glimpse, but oh . . . that you’d be walking around all day, like that, with nobody to fuck you silly--
He can’t help but let his hands knead the soft skin, the flesh, his thumbs imprinting so hard in the plush that you squirm. He’s pressing your thighs apart, now – revealing the modest underwear, the soaking wet patch where he can see the outline of your plump labia lips.
With your legs spread, he can smell how turned on you are. Oh, yeah – he knows your type, alright.
“Ain’t you cute?” He says, chuckling. “You really want me to do you over this desk?”
“You can’t leave me like this--” Your voice is reedy, breathy, almost petulant – at another time, he’d make you beg for it. He’d take his time over you. But although the idea of being caught fucking the cute little teacher’s aid is briefly appealing, he doesn’t really want to make a whole load of trouble for himself when his cock is practically begging to be sheathed inside your wet holes. “Please--”
It’s the please that does it. It’s always the ‘please’ that does it for Toji. He chuckles, smirks, crooked grin – all of it feels like it’s mixing together in your mind, your throat very dry as nothing seems to matter right now except the fact that your sex is practically pulsing with how empty it is, and you think that the hot hard stiffness pressing against your thighs would really help alleviate some of that.
“Aww,” he says, fiddling with his zip and underwear, grabbing his cock and giving it a cursory pump just so you can admire the sheer size of him. “Don’t worry, little lamb. I’ll give ya what you need.”
He gets what he wants. Your eyes, as big and dark as the eyes of a doe – the soft choke of breath as you get to see the size of it, so big his own fingertips don’t quite meet. It’s the kind of cock that could ruin you for somebody else – and you’ve had sex before, of course, but you’ve never taken anything quite like that--
“That’s cute,” Toji murmurs, pressing forward, nestling his slick cock-head between your soaking wet thighs. “Wish you could have seen what a picture your face made just then. Afraid I’m gonna tear you in two?”
He might – he might, you think. But you pout at him and Toji’s cock throbs, as he glides the slick glans through the mess of your arousal, wetting himself even further. Your breath hitches, your hips doing a cute little jerk as it brushes your swollen clit. He can’t help himself but swirl the head over it some more, making your breath catch and whine, bleating like a little lamb--
He sinks his hips forward, and your fingers flex on the edge of the desk, knuckles white, at the relentless sear of his cock driving you open. You feel so stretched out, and he’s barely a third of the way in – he can’t help but watch your expression. He always likes to see someone the first time they’re impaled on his cock – the glassy eyes, slack jaw, the pleasure-cum-pain in their faces. He wants to take a picture of you and keep it in his wallet so he can pump one out to the sight of you when he’s on business trips and too busy to go out and find himself a hole to fuck.
“How’s that feel?” He asks you, so soft and low that you barely catch it. Another slow inch. He lets you feel every ridge, every vein, every bump of his shaft. You can hear your heartbeat in your ears.
“F-full—” you gasp.
“I bet,” Toji replies – and then, he bottoms out inside you. His eyes look down to where the two of you are joined; the slick fluid leaking out of you, all heat and needy. “You fit me like a glove.”
Your cheeks heat at the compliment, at the lewd way he’s looking at your spread open cunt – the way your hole is fluttering around him, the peeking pearl of your clit. He’s studying you like he wants to learn you by heart.
“Head’s up,” he says. “I’m gonna fuck you now.”
You’re about to open your mouth, and ask him what he’s doing right at that moment if he hasn’t started fucking you yet – but then, he’s dragged almost the entire length of his cock out of you in one savage thrust and is immediately spearing it back into you, his pace brutal. Your eyes roll to the back of your head, your back hitting the solid, flat surface of Gojo’s desk so that you’re flat out with your thighs wrapped around Toji’s hips.
If he weren’t so entranced by the feel of your walls fluttering around him, trying to suck him in further and deeper, so tight that you’re basically a vice, he’d grab you by your hair and force you to stay seated whilst he fucked you. But right now, you feel so good that all he can think about is his own release. The wet sounds of his cock gliding in and out of you, the squelch of your arousal and slick making every pump easier and easier. You feel so good. You’re tighter than he even imagined you could be, so good that he kind of wants to take you home and have you take up permanent residence in his bed.
You’re moaning, your back arching with every one of his thrusts – taking it admirably. There’s pain in your moans, yes – he supposes he could have prepared you better, had you come on his fingers a couple of times, if time were not of the essence – but they’re the pained moans of someone who likes to be hurt a little bit.
With every rock of his cock inside of you, he hits some new spot that you’ve never had stoked before, makes the heat and need inside of you swim just a little bit closer to the forefront. You don’t even notice you’re moaning and whining until a big hand slaps over your mouth, rough, hot palm against your lips, smearing your lipstick.
“You’re gonna be a good girl and stay quiet,” Toji says to you, through those savage thrusts of his cock inside of you. “You don’t want your . . . your fuckin’ . . . anyone walkin’ in on you being railed by your student’s dad, do you?” You shake your head, but he feels the throb of your cunt around his cock, the way your walls contract, and he adds it to the store of things he’s learning about you. Always the quiet ones, right? Always the proper ones who look as though they’ve never even seen a cock--
The feel of him inside you is absolutely dizzying, so much and so full that you can no longer think. His cock batters against a certain place in your channel, a textured wall – and before you know it, everything is going dizzy and black and white like exploding fireworks, your chest bursting into heat, your inner walls getting so tight around Toji as you come that he thinks you’ll be the one to fucking break him.
Oh, you’re adorable, creaming on his cock – the slick gush of your arousal around him, the dreamy cast in your eye, the fact he can feel you drooling against his palm. He increases the speed of his own thrusts, chasing his release through the weak aftershocks and smaller pulses of you around him, through the over-sensitive squirming of your cute little cunt, the fact that tears are pooling in your eyes at how much everything is suddenly feeling--
He groans and the hand still clinging to your thigh is suddenly pressing so hard you think he’ll snap your bone, ragged breath;
“Fu—fuuuck, sweetheart, you’re gonna take it all, that’s right, good girl--” in between belaboured, ragged pumps, his cock twitching as he manages to pull out at the last moment and his release spills all over your thighs, luridly glistening wet in the overhead fluorescent lights.
That’s another moment he’d take a picture of, if he could.
He’s not the kind of man who waits around. He gives himself ten seconds, to catch his breath, to admire your plush thighs painted with his come, before he’s tucking himself back into his trousers and zipping zippers and doing buttons. He shoves his hands into his pockets, bouncing on the balls of his feet for a second – double checking he’s left nothing of his in the classroom.
Yep. All clear.
He turns to leave, air of cocky confidence back – you only just see the shifting muscles in his back as he turns to go, leaving you where you are. You’re lucky he’s so tall, or you’d probably barely have seen him in front of the door frame (you didn’t even lock the door, anyone could have walked in at any time! You don’t even want to know what Gojo would say if he’d walked in to his aid being fucked like a slut across his desk).
“W-wait,” you say, weakly, still sprawled over the desk with his come cooling on your thighs. You manage to prop yourself up on your elbows, but your entire body feels like it’s just taken a battering. He takes a look back at you from the door, dragging a big hand through his hair, his crooked grin still on his face. You look so pretty like that – all fucked out and messy, the shine taken off of you. “T-the paperwork--”
You’re not sure where said paperwork is. Underneath you, maybe? You hope it didn’t get soaked.
“Told ya’,” he says, dismissively. “I’m just gonna throw it in the trash. Thanks for the fun, sweetheart. See y’around, huh? I should do stuff for the kid’s academic career more often.”
The door slams shut behind him.
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bests-mistakes · 3 years
Text
out and about
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summary: he sneaks out and finds himself outside your window on a cold night -- you have no choice but to keep each other warm.
word count: 1,753™
warnings: swearing, shinichiro hugs a girl.
notes: reader and shinichiro are 17. ask to be added to taglist.
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you toss and turn over in your bed, not being able to fall sleep. for the past few minutes a light tapping has been occurring on your window. thinking it’s a tree branch, you ignore it and try to get back to sleeping -- your attempt to.
it gets louder. frustrated, you get up from the comfortable mess of blankets and pillows to face your window.
shinichiro’s figure is balancing on the window sill, tapping your window lightly.
you both give each other a scare, as you stumble backwards and fall. you’re quick to get up, catching sight of shinichiro trying to balance himself on the tree that leads to your window.
you open the window for him, and he doesn’t hesitate to hop into your room as if it’s his own.
“hey.” he waves, pulling his hood down to reveal his hair and its lack of gel (you find yourself feeling grateful that he’s left it that way).
“what the fuck are you doing at my house in the middle of the night?”
he raises his arms up. “i’m staying the night.”
“huh?”
there’s no way shinichiro sano, king of rejections, just asked to stay the night at a girl’s house -- or did he not view you as a girl?
as much as you were glad shinichiro was comfortable enough to ask to stay at your house for the night, it kind of hurt for some reason.
“i said i’m staying over.”
“no, you’re not.”
he takes something out if his hoodie. “i got you something.” gummies.
on any normal occasion, you would’ve happily accepted his order with a condition and whatever he bribes you with. “no.” today is different, you want to go to sleep.
“wait, what?” he back tracks -- his plan is failing.
“i said, ‘no’.” you deny. “why do you want to sleep here so bad?”
you hope your choice of words makes him realize what he’s asking of you, but it seems that he’s really desperate to not have to sleep over at his own house.
“why would you say no?”
“take a lucky guess.” you deadpan.
he looks out the window. “it’s not very late?”
of course. shinichiro sano doesn’t abide by the laws of nature, and has the worst sense of time you’ve known a person to have. and now he’s come to your house to bug you.
“why are you here?” you ask, rearranging your pillows and covers.
“i told you. i’m sleeping over.”
“yes. but why?”
“because i snuck out.”
“i’m done dealing with your shit on school nights. come back on a friday.”
“you’re kicking me out?”
“mhm.”
“you know if you do that, i’ll have to go home, and get caught. if i get caught, i’ll get in trouble, and then i’ll be grounded.”
“good. you’ll be somebody else's problem then.”
you both know that if he snuck out like he said, undetected, emma and manjiro are surely asleep, and at this time, his grandfathers snores should be loud enough that no one would notice him sneak in
he sighs. nothing was working, and he doesn’t want to go home. he doesn’t want to leave you.
he takes a deep breath, “please.”
you perk up. “huh?”
“please.” he repeats louder, in an irritated tone.
you stop trying to “kick him out”; it seems that there really is something bothering him, and you’ve been noticing more signs as time goes on.
“uh, yeah, sure...” you leave your bed unattended. “i think i have an extra futon on my room.”
“i don’t wanna sleep on the futon.” he says in a small voice.
you nod, deciding that now is not a good time for you to sleep (as much as you want to).
you take a seat on your bed, and usher him to do the same.
“where’d you sneak out to?” you ask, resting your weight on your palms as you lean back.
“no where in particular.” he discretely inches closer to you — or tries to, at least.
“ah.” you mutter.
you know things have been hard on him lately, with his mother in hospital. his father’s been dead for the past four years, leaving shinichiro to step up as the father figure for both emma and manjiro, while providing his grandfather with stability and mother with support. it’s a lot of stress when so many people are relying on you, and you don’t have anyone to rely on -- you’re glad he feels he can rely on you. 
“do you still have the gummies?”
he hands them to you. you quietly tear the packet. you pour him a handful, and take an even larger handful for yourself. he chuckles. you smile.
“how’d you remember i liked these? i don’t think i’ve had them in a while.”
“there wasn’t any reason for me to forget, so.” he shrugs. “but make sure to leave some behind. i borrows some of emma’s money, and told her i’d get her gummies.”
you chuckle. what a particularly shinichiro thing to do. you give him the gummies you originally took for yourself, heading to your desk to rummage for your purse. it’s dark, but the moonlight is the only light you need to snatch five-500 yen coins.
“don’t worry about paying the money back, and for my sake stop borrowing from the poor girl. buy her something sweet with this.”
“huh? what is this?”
“what does it look like? five, 500 yen coins. what else?”
“this is way more than i need to pay her back.”
“keep the rest, i don’t need it.”
“no need to brag...” he grumbles, and you chuckle. at least he accepted the money. “thank you.”
“of course.” you smile. “now keep the money safe, you don’t want her snitching on you, do you?”
he nods. your pajamas consist of the schools sweatpants for gym — an elective you took once, and never again — and a t-shirt for a singer you don’t listen to anymore.
the room is dark, the atmosphere is quiet, and the only light is the reflection of the moonlight seeping into the room through the window.
you give shinichiro the inner part of the bed, and for once in your life, you’re glad the width of the bed is almost as wide as the length. an old bed that wobbles too many times to be stable, but you can’t be more grateful than you are now.
you place a few pillows in the middle, and give him a separate cover. “you’re going to have to wake up early tomorrow, so i suggest you sleep now.”
another nod. he faces the wall, and your back faces his.
a few minutes pass, and by the time half an hour has approached, you’re drifting to sleep. he speaks up.
“do you still wanna know why i snuck out?” he asks, voice still alert.
“yes.” you answer, almost too enthusiastic despite being half asleep.
you don’t want him to shut you out.
“i went to see izana.” his explanations are short and lack emotions, but as long as he spoke, you were glad.
you turn to face him, realizing that he was facing the wall. you urge him to keep speaking, despite never hearing of izana before.
“grandpa told me about him, so i managed to do some digging while he was teaching at the dojo and found his address. i went to visit him today.”
you don’t say anything. you know shinichiro’s been a little down lately, even if he’ll try to keep his spirits up for those who surround him.
“things with the black dragons are also... difficult. since we’re nearing the end of highschool, we have to pass down the gang, disband it, or carry on with it. i’m not really sure what to do.”
you’ve known shinichiro to be mature (albeit a little irresponsible) throughout all your knowing him, being a pillar in the delinquent world, in his family, and you’re sure in many other places that you are yet to hear of. to you, it always seemed that if shinichiro were near, then things are fine. you’ve never stopped to think of how it might’ve made him feel to be in the middle of it all.
“how are you feeling?” you ask.
a pause.
“i don’t know.” he replies quietly.
you shuffle around the bed, moving closer to shinichiro and over the pillow barrier. he turns around to face you after hearing the bed creak, a little surprised.
you hug him, wrapping arms around his torso and making sure your grip was strong, because knowing shinichiro, he’ll try to push you off (though after 13 rejections through middle school and some of high school, you can’t blame him).
“what…” he wriggles in your arms. “what are you doing?”
“do you want to sleep on the very same tree you climbed to sneak in here?” your tone was stern.
“no.” he replies quickly.
“then shut up.”
and so he does, finding himself in much more comfort than before. not because you listen, not because let him inside, and certainly not because you hugged him — but because you understand.
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EXTRA
your alarm rings loud in your ears, and you try to twist to turn it off. you find yourself trapped between a set of arms, and you open your eyes to find shinichiro hugging you. the bothersome noise is blaring far too loud for you to pay attention to anything else, so after a few turns and twists, you finally turn it off.
then you finally focus on your current situation -- shinichiro’s arms entrapping you. if you are correct, you’re sure that it was the other way around last night. you are also sure that you’d let go of him after a while.
“shin, wake up.” you whisper. “shin.” you poke his back. “shi-ni-chi-ro.” you try a bit louder. you position your mouth to be right next to his ear. “shinichiro!” he shakes awake, dropping you off the bed in the process.
“what?” he looks at you.
“you’re finally awake.” you sigh in relief. “now get the hell out of my room before you get me grounded.”
he nods, grabbing his hoodie, which he’d apparently taken off sometime during the night, and opens the window.
“wanna hang out later today?” you ask, before he’s fully left.
he shoots you a small smile. “sure.”
it seems there’s no such thing as getting your daily dose of the oldest sano, because being around him is so enticing.
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taglist: @dora-the-grownup​
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rayofsunas · 3 years
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s/o has a mental/nervous breakdown.
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A/n: hello everyone! I hope your day is going alright, and that you’re doing well 🥰 I recently hit 300+ folllwers, like Sunday morning, and omg, that was the best thing to wake up too 🥺❤️ thank you those new and old for following and taking a chance with my account and sometimes trashy works 🙃 I’m gonna make a longer post at some point saying my thanks and discuss what I plan to do to celebrate 300 followers. It would really mean a lot to me if you guys chimed in if you have any ideas, after all, this is a thanks to you and I want you all to be involved! also, if you saw my recent rambles about how a draft was deleted, it’s referring to this post... what I had written got deleted TWICE in the span of FIVE MINUTES. gosh I was so pissed, I almost screamed. mobile tumblr is not it 😔 but here we are. I hope you like this. I tried to write this three times.... 🤡 also, since I am not a doctor or anything, I put a link to possible symptoms/what a “mental breakdown” is, that’s in the warnings, just click the link, it helped with my accuracy. 
Summary: s/o has a mental/nervous breakdown.
Parings: Xiao/Reader, Scaramouche/Reader, Albedo/Reader, Childe/Reader (all fem reader)
Warnings: angst, mental breakdown (panic attacks, stress, anxiety, ptsd, hallucinations, insomnia) fluff, swearing, mentions of death, mentions of injury
Word count: 3.5k (whew after tumblr DELETING this draft twice here we are folks ;-;)
requested by @mintyhuening​ 
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Xiao
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he knew you weren’t okay at all
Xiao knew the moment you locked yourself in your house
at first he thought maybe you were just temporarily feeling this way, but as the weeks passed and you hadn’t come out, he decided maybe not
coming from someone who enjoyed silence and solitude he could understand the distancing part, but it had been weeks, and even he needed socialization, so why hadn’t you come out?
you spoke to him through the door a few times, letting him know you were alright
he didn’t believe that though, sure you were alive, but not alright, he was mainly checking for confirmation to see if you were still alive while he thought of a good way to approach the situation
he didn’t want to invade your privacy, but he also hated the fact that you wouldn’t come out, not even to see him
it was lonely without you, he concluded
even for someone who enjoy solitude 
you were a careful creature, but never this careful and cautious...
were humans always like this?
eventually, he couldn’t stand it, and did find other ways to get into your house
he grew antsy after pacing outside your door for days
he found you huddled in your bed, a heap of pillows and blankets surrounding you
you were shocked to see him when he’d sat down on the foot of the bed, causing it to dip significantly 
“How did you get in?” You snapped once you saw who it was. 
“I have my ways.” He said raspily. With a huff of annoyance, you were back to facing the wall, away from the Adepti. 
“It’s dark in here.” He announced matter a factly, looking around the nearly pitch-black room, windows and doors covered by sheets and hefty duty curtains. “It’s how I like it.”
“It’s not healthy.”
“I don’t care, go away.”
Xiao was starting to grow impatient surprisingly, he truly just wanted to help, why couldn't you see that?
“Being passive is not going to help the situation, please tell me what’s wrong.”
“Nothing, I’m just tired.”
He worried. If he said the wrong, would you push him away even further? If he said the right thing, would you even care? Did you want help?
Xiao moved closer to you, hand going to touch your leg, although it was underneath the blankets, you felt it and did have to admit the affection was comforting.
“Don’t do this to yourself,” Xiao said. “Your friends miss you, I miss you as well.”
Maybe if you weren’t cooped up here anymore, you would start to come around. The room and house all together were very stuffy, dark, and depressing, he despised it.
“It’s beautiful outside, come with me,” he'd whispered. “At least if you don’t want to be around people, could you allow me to take you to a secluded area?”
“The fresh air will do you good.”
You were thinking about it, you had to of been if you still cared. 
“Fine, mother.” He watched with hope in his eyes as you slowly rose from the bed, and began
The outside world was very very bright at first, enough to induce a headache. But you became used to it the more you were out.
Xiao stayed true to his word like you knew he would unless you wouldn’t have come. You were taken to a very secluded area, there wasn’t even a path or road to it, just green luscious grass, and crystal core everywhere, beautiful blue and orange ones; Anemo and Geo respectively. You weren’t sure where you were, somewhere between Mondstadt and Liyue, you assumed. 
The fresh air did wonders, Xiao had noticed. You seemed to open up. Telling him a little of the problem. You had told him about how life was just stressful right now, you hadn’t taken any commissions in weeks, spoken to any of your friends Mondstadt, hence why they had come to him, accusing him of kidnapping and brainwashing you. He was offended, nonetheless let them know that wasn’t the case. 
The ever so secluded Xiao would take you out more, slowly introducing you to crowds of people, and would still take you on daily walks to that secret place you now called your special spot.
It would take a while, he knew that, and you wouldn’t be comfortable doing everything that others around you did, maybe not for a while. He could respect that, as long as you allowed him to help and encourage you.
Scaramouche
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being a harbinger was HARD, Scaramouche knew that, even if he didn’t admit it
admitting it was challenging, could lead to always being doubted or seen as incompetent. therefore, no one mentions how hard it is
he had been off doing his duties when he got news that you had lashed out at a few lower rank fatui on your team, resulting in you being called in to meet with The Tsaritsa... let's just say she went easy on you because you were one of her highest ranking soldiers, if not, she would've severely punished you
you were forced back to your sleeping quarters immediately to calm down, told to stay put until you could stop “lashing out like a child” as she had put it
you weren’t one to argue against The Tsaritsa, everyone knew that was common rule... so you walked back as calmly as you could without snapping at anyone else
when Scaramouche had heard how you acted, he was annoyed
the always so calm and calculated Y/n, lashing out at her fellow members? he couldn’t help but be annoyed, despite it being completely out of character of you
he had finished his duties relatively quick, wondering why you were acting so out of character 
when he got back, he found you in your sleeping quarters, pacing in front of the large windows near the furthest end of your room
you were still wearing your typical combat gear, though your hair disheveled and body language looking extremely anxious, he hoped it was not yours...
“What did you do this time?” Had asked the violet-eyed man, carelessly throwing his hat on your bed, lean arms folding across his chest.
No response. 
“Excuse me, I believe I asked you a question.”
A loud irritable huff.
“Be quiet for once in your life, Scaramouche.” You hissed, anxiously biting at your nails. “Sorry- I’m just trying to calm down, but my heart can’t stop racing.”
Scaramouche wasn’t the most in-touch person with his feelings, and out of all the harbingers, he was one of the more difficult ones to deal with.
Surprisingly, he had shut up, despite finding it difficult to hold his malicious comment back.  
“What’s wrong?” Your lover asked, more softly this time. 
“My mission today was... hard. I know you said it’s important for missions to just be a one and done; no hard feelings. And you know I’ve always been that way. But this one was different.” His eyebrows furrowed, his forehead creasing in annoyance. 
“I can’t help but think about what they did.” 
“Did you get what you went for? I heard you sought after information regarding that Knight, Aether.”
“Yes, but-”
“I’d call that a successful mission,” He stared intensely, casually moving to sit on the comfort of your bed. Of course, he wouldn’t take this seriously. “Any casualties?”
“None of our men, but-”
“I don’t see the problem.”
“There were children, three little children, and those idiots just slaughtered them.”
“Ah... I see.”
Despite stating he understood, he really couldn’t sympathize with what you were saying. Those children were enemies as long as they worked against The Tsaritsa. 
Your voice suddenly cut through the silence, staring directly into his eyes, “What if those were our children?”
“They weren’t.” Your eyes rolled at his comment. 
“But what if!” He rolled his eyes, mocking your previous action. 
“But they weren’t.” He mocked for a second time.  
“You’re not helping, Scaramouche!”
“You’ll never understand, unless you see what I saw,” He knew you were right to some degree, but even then would he feel bad? A mission was a mission after all.
“They were begging me to protect them, and the youngest, she would not let go of my arm and then the next thing I knew, they were dead.” You continued, left hand going to grip your right, he assumed to show him where and how the said girl had gripped you. You were still shaking, this time being closer, he noticed how bad it was. 
“They were pleading, I told them I would try my best, and then-” He had long ago stood, making himself present in front of you. His warm hands had grabbed your shaking ones harshly, ceasing the trembling momentarily. 
“Please, be quiet,” The sixth harbinger snipped. “I don’t like seeing you upset.” Although it sounded harsh, he was trying his best to make it sound how he felt, even if those feelings were minuscule towards this specific topic. 
“Although, I don’t agree with you about this particular concern of yours- I will do whatever you need to help you.”
Albedo
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now, he may just be an alchemist, but trust me, Albedo sees the signs before anyone, he has some sort of familiarity with them due to his incessant reading
and it may have taken him longer to see the signs because of how busy he was, but he saw them
he was no fool to the likes of insomnia, in fact he knew it very well, often staying up very late into the night and morning, sometimes for days at a time
he was cooped up in his lab and it wasn’t as if his body wasn’t tired, cause hell he was, there was just s much more to learn and discover, his brain WOULD not stop, 
Albedo hadn’t known how long this had been going on for, but he was seeing signs now
ngl, he didn’t notice that you hadn’t been sleeping properly until one night he decided to accompany you in bed earlier than usual (It was three a.m, yikes), and found that you were awake still
you were lying still on your side of the bed, and if it hadn’t been for the fact that he reached over to kiss your cheek, only to see your eyes open, he would’ve assumed you were alright and asleep
“You’re awake?” The ashy-blonde man asked, sliding into bed next to you. 
“Can’t sleep.” You shrugged nonchalantly, scooting closer to him, seeking his warmth and comfort. 
“You should’ve come to get me, I would’ve come to bed earlier with you.”
“It’s alright, I peeked in to see if you were still alive,” You joked, he chuckled. “You seemed very busy.”
“Yes, but, I thought I told you to remind me when you need attention, I often get sidetracked and enamored with my work.”
“It’s quite alright, Albedo. As long as you’re sleeping.”
He hummed, whispering tired words of adoration in your ear. That carried on for a while, as long as talking about the day's work and whatnot, until you eventually questioned, “Can I play with your hair?” The gesture was sweet, and that did sound amazing right about now since he was on the brink of sleep, but just needed that little push. But weren’t you tired?
“Aren’t you tired?”
You sat up, climbing behind Albedo, gently placing his head in your lap. “I’ll go after you.” A soft smile adorned your beautiful face. “You need sleep, you stay up for Archon knows how long.”
He selfishly allowed his eyes to close and waited for sleep to accompany him while you began untangling his two braids and ponytail. You played with and braided his hair until he’d fallen asleep as you said. You stayed up the rest of the morning though.
Eventually, probably out of boredom, you fell asleep for an hour or two around five a.m. Though, unfortunately, you were back up before six. You busied yourself while Albedo slept, starting with cleaning his lab. Albedo often did not like people touching his books, paperwork, and findings, but after instructing you how to properly take care of his stuff, he welcomed your help with open arms, seeing as though his lab was ALWAYS in shambles from not having enough time to take care of things himself.
Albedo surprisingly woke up around nine, wavy hair surrounding him like a lion, you chuckled to yourself at the sight. “How did you sleep?”
“Alright, considering my sleep schedule is nonexistent a lot of the time.” You nodded, bumping shoulders teasingly. “How about you?” 
“Okay,” You said, immediately changing the subject. “I woke up early, so I cleaned your lab, I hope it’s to your likings, Kreideprinz.” You teased, bowing at the waist.
The alchemist waved you off, with a smile. “We’ll see about your organizational skills after you eat.” 
How had he known?
“You haven’t eaten yet, have you?” Albedo asked, heading in the direction of the kitchen.
“That obvious.” You wondered trailing after him. 
“You always wait for me, darling.”
“You look exhausted.” Albedo’s concerned voice cut in through the smooth Mondstadt breeze. You had been so distracted with the discovery in front of you, you hadn’t realized your boyfriend was staring directly at you. “When was the last time you slept?” He glanced back down at the discovery, still listening, but if you didn’t speak soon he’d be lost in his world again.
“A day or two, but-” Albedo probably got whiplash from how hard he’d snapped his head to face you, but now he was staring at you with features reading nothing but shock, cerulean eyes blown wide.
“I think your bad sleeping schedule is contagious.” You joked, trying to make the situation lighter-hearted. He didn’t laugh. 
Albedo was more serious this time, proving it when he faced you completely. “What’s been going on?” His voice was soft, but he was extremely worried. 
Nervousness built up in his lover's body. “Nothing! I just-” You sighed. Might as well tell him the truth, he’d coerce the answer from you no matter what it took. “It’s been harder to sleep after my injury from that ruin guard. When it hit me, I banged my head against the concrete, and ever since I guess it’s been hard to sleep.” 
“You could've told me sooner. I would have stopped everything and anything for you.” Yes, that was true, that was the problem though. You didn’t want to be coddled like a baby
“I know, I’m not sure why I didn’t... Naturally, I don’t want to worry you.”
He moved closer to you so he could cradle your face in his hands. “You can always tell me anything you know that.”
“I understand that. You’re a busy man so-”
“From this moment on, my work will be dedicated to finding a cure for you.”
You panicked, not wanting to stop his work for the likes of what you were dealing with. “What? Wait no-”
“You can’t stop me, darling. You take precedence over everything.”
Albedo made it his goal to do whatever possible to help you. Whether it be spending days in his lab making concoctions in hopes of creating something that could safely aid you with sleep. Or he’s in the libraries, reading all the books on the wellness and health of humans. He’s already on top of it the minute you expressed your concerns. In the meantime, he’s going to make sure he goes to bed with you much earlier, and won’t go until you do, to ensure you’re resting.
We love sweet caretaker Albedo.
(I understand insomnia can have other causes, not just a mental or nervous breakdown, but it’s kind of implied when reader hurt her head that she’s not well.)
Childe
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Childe is simply not going to know your not well, he just won’t, it’s not that he doesn’t care, it’s more so the fact that he has a hard time paying attention to anything other than his missions and duties, he does not want to slow down
you have to show signs or tell him to realize
he decided to take a break though, seeing as he did promise you dinner tonight. he told you it would be his treat, since he did have a bunch of Mora lying around that he simply had no other use for
he figured a nice dinner and trip to one of the nicer cities with more to offer would be nice, he would buy you anything you desired
it was nearing the time for dinner though, and the reservations had already been made, so when he was left waiting, let's just say he was irked...
if you didn’t want to show up, you would’ve told him, so maybe you forgot? he concluded that couldn’t be it
the last time he’d brought it up, two days ago, you had been so excited you couldn’t sit still nor stop talking about it
asking a few people around town if you had been spotted anywhere, some said you had wandered off to Luhua Pool, something about there being a myth about special healing properties within the water
now he was even more confused
one, you NEVER went to Luhua Pool, there was never a need to do so
two, special healing properties? why would you need that? were you hurt in his absence?
you were his family, and he loved his family more than anything, so if something was wrong, he’d do whatever it took to help you
he traveled from Snezhnaya to Luhua Pool in record speed
he did find you eventually, the sun was setting, but thanks to the glowing water he could make your form out easily
you were hunched over, in what looked like to be some simple greenish cloth dress, he couldn’t see what you were doing, and called out your name
no answer
“Hey, what’re you doing here?” The orange-haired teen asked, crouching down beside his lover to see what was wrong.
“Cleaning.” You had said. That’s when his dull blue eyes traveled to what you were doing, watching with a confused stare as you scrubbed at what seemed to be clean hands.
“Hmm, I see...” He couldn’t tell if this was a prank or not, you usually played along with his teasing nature. “Are you ready for dinner?”
“Was that really today?” Your head lifted, leaving your hands to momentarily hanging in the air, water droplets dripping off into the pool.
Okay... so you did forget it seemed, which did shock him seeing as though you were over the moon, less than seventy-two hours ago.
“Uh, yeah, did you really forget? That’s unlike you! I’ve learned women don’t forget anything.” He teased, hand going to his chin. You hummed, turning back to do whatever it was you had been previously.
The harbinger frowned. “Do you still want to go? We can make it if we’re fast.” You sounded like a robot, much like a ruin guard, he concluded. 
“I’m sorry, not today, I’m dirty...”
Childe couldn’t help but chuckle, “Dirty? Sweetheart, you’re cleaner than most people I’ve seen, what’re you on about-” 
“The blood, it’s stained my hands, can’t you see?” Even after holding your hands to show him, he saw nothing resembling blood. 
“Are you playing games with me? Sure, it would’ve been funny any other day, not today though-” 
“You don’t believe me?” You sounded hurt, but whatever was going on, he wouldn’t feed into these... false hallucinations. “The townspeople said the same thing, they called me crazy...” You scrubbed even harder at your hands, letting out a frustrated huff. 
“I don’t see anything, I’m really sorry,” He said gently, reaching into the water to grasp your warm hands in his, “But if you continue to do that...I will see the blood.”
Childe was not sure what was going on, maybe some sort of PTSD? Although, he wasn’t sure where it could’ve come from... you’re not a harbinger or fatui, or anyone that is engaged in battle, etc. so it didn’t make sense. Unless something happened that decided to resurface now. 
He immediately took you home, hand in his to keep you from further scratching your hands. On the journey, you often asked, “Why are you even touching me? There’s a lot of blood.” 
He didn’t want to have to feed into whatever was going on, worried he’d damage you somehow, and he didn’t want to make you sound crazy, so instead he said, “Because I love you.”
When you both arrived home, he’d immediately laid you in bed, saying you appeared tired before going to search for a doctor.
Child will see every and all doctors in Teyvat and will pay whatever amount necessary to figure out what’s wrong, that’s for sure. Doesn’t take orders from the harbingers (not like he was anyways) and opts to stay close to you at all times. 
He decided to keep his teasing to a minimum, though he found that sometimes things slipped out accidentally, he’d do anything in his power to help you.
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1.18.21, rayofsunas 
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