#when i hate interacting with other people in person to the extent that i do

[gideonisms]

almost nothing is worth losing sleep over, I decided this after being 22. academic failure is better than losing a single night's sleep over something so silly. but at the same time, this proposal was due a, week and a half ago,

[hauntedpearl]

.

[ineffectualdemon]

Since the OP made their post unrebloggable (and blocked me. Both actions they are well in with their right to do)

I'm going to make my response it's own post because I think the point is important

-

As someone who is autistic and has BPD and CPTSD and loads of trauma yes you sometimes need to change how you interact with others to keep people around

When I was 13 I hit the few friends I had when I was angry

I had to change that in order to keep those friendships

When I was in my early 20s if I was losing an disagreement with my husband I would threaten to kill myself. My husband told me it hurt him and was cruel and manipulative behaviour, because it was.

So I worked hard to change that to keep my relationship

It's easy to say "I shouldn't have to change for others" and that's true to an extent. You shouldn't change your interests or passions or dim your light. And you should have space to be imperfect and flawed and not have to pretend your ugly bits aren't real. But if something you are doing it causing other people harm you kinda need to change that.

That's called "living in a society"

People adapt to each other and make space for each other in their lives. You adapt to them and they adapt to you

You start being more diligent about throwing away the empty toilet roll because it really bothers them. They start warning you before they run the blender because you hate loud noises

I stopped threatening to kill myself because I was mad I was losing an argument and my husband stopped being so vocally judgemental amount media he personally dislikes

There is a certain type of person who heard the phrase "your emotions are valid" and took that to mean "my emotional reactions and my behaviour are always objectively correct because my emotions are valid and if you have an emotional response or react to what I'm doing negatively then you are wrong and you can't be hurt because my emotions are valid"

And that's a recipe for disaster

Your emotions are valid to feel. They are how you feel and there are reasons you feel the way you do

However, your reactions and behaviour are something you can learn to control and can be irrational

We live in a society and we as people change each other as we interact and that isn't necessarily a bad thing

[picturejasper20]

Steven Universe as a character is someone who has been mischaracterized and flanderized over the years, to the point people who aren't into the fandom or haven't watched the show believe that mischaracterization to be a fact rather that a product that comes from memes and jokes

The truth is that Steven often fights in the series when it is needed, usually by fusing with someone else like Connie or Amethyst since he is still developing his powers in the original series. He doesn't cry when he has to fight back or defend himself, with exception if the person attacking is someone he considers a friend. Because, yes, for a 14-15 old teenager it isn't fun having to do something like that and it can be traumatic.

He also doesn't start to cry the moment someone refuses to change their mind or is being mean. He often isn't afraid to be sarcastic or call that person out. He didn't cry when Aquamarine mocked him in ¨Stuck Together¨ nor when Jasper didn't apologize for poofing Amethyst in ¨Crack the Whip¨

However, what we see is sometimes him blaming himself for not being able to help people that, more often than not, have been hurt by Rose Quartz, his mother, in some way. After Season 3, Steven fears a lot that he is going to become like Rose and he is going to hurt people the way like she did.

In general Steven deals with an Atlas complex in the show. He feels like he has to fix his mother mistakes and deal with ¨what she left behind¨ even when Rose wanted for him to be his own person as seen in the tape she left for him as it was revealed in the episode ¨Lion 4: The Alternate Ending¨.

Steven also defines his identity a lot for being to help other people and fix their problems. He believes that he has to be ¨useful¨ for others. So when he believes that he failed to help someone, that may lead him to think that he isn't living up to his ¨purpose¨ or that he is a failure as a person.

In reality, he isn't that much different from other hero protagonists from other animated shows. Those who are kind and emphatic and willing to listen to other people and give them a second chance if the person changes their ways. You probably like an animated show that has a protagonist like this. (Who was probably taken inspiration from Steven if the series came out after SU).

The main difference, i think, is that Steven goes a bit more than those protagonists do when it comes to listening to other people, understand their motivations and give them another chance if they regret their actions. A lot has to do with how he is aware that his enemies (usually gems) act the way the do because of the system they were born into rather ¨they are evil just because¨. He gets that their motivations come from the system that hurt them or lead them to believe that their actions are justified.

Another common mischaracterization is that Steven becomes super buddies with every person he helps...when this isn't always the case. There are some occasions that Steven shows discomfort around people who he has given a second chance. Just because he gives them a second chance doesn't mean that he immediately considers them close friends, maybe allies at best.

A good example of this is the gif above of Steven's interactions with White Diamond in ¨Homeworld Bound¨. White Diamond touches Steven very close to where his gem is- which makes Steven distressed since in his battle again White, she ripped his gem out to prove that Pink was still ¨alive¨. In most of the episode Steven shows to be very uncomfortable around the Diamonds and Spinel, to some extent. They bring him bad memories, which is the main reason he has been doing everything to avoid going to them to ask for their help until this point in Steven Universe Future. He even almost accidentally hurts White's gem by smashing her head against a pillar when she lets him control her to talk to himself. This being result of a intrusive ¨vengeful¨ thought.

I wouldn't say that Steven hates the Diamonds,but- he doesn't want to be their friend neither and wants to avoid in general because he feels nervous and bad around them. It's something like ¨I'm glad that you are changing but i don't want to be associated with you. Please, i would appreciate if you kept your distance from me.¨ dynamic.

On last point, Steven is someone who usually pushes his feelings down in certain situations and buries them down, which has led him to have strong emotional outbursts in bad moments. He usually prefers to ignore his own problems and take priority on others. Again, this comes a lot from his desire to be useful and be needed, making him trying to ignore how he feels about certain people and pretend that he is doing fine.

This explains why we don't see him lash out that much to others in the original series, and, why he feels so frustrated and angry in Future, since all that anger and negative feelings can't no longer be ignored as they used to and they are having a negative impact in Steven's mental health. This, of course, isn't meant to be seen is a healthy coping mechanism. It is in fact potrayed as something pretty self-destructive for Steven, as a huge flaw of his, that over time he comes to learn that it isn't the best way for him to deal with his problems.

These are some of the most common misconceptions i have seen about Steven's character online. I could go in more depth with some of them but i think the points should be clear enough. This could be considered a general analysis of how Steven is as a character and how he operates, leaving aside more specific things that can be covered in other posts.

[lixie-phoria]

↳ ♡₊˚. tag, you're it ꒱

— skz helping 9th member reader w/ her paranoid personality disorder

requested - yes // 9th fem!member who has paranoid personality disorder (PPD) and she always thinks that she isn’t alone in the dorms when she’s by herself? The boys don’t know anything about is as she hides it from them but one day the boys get a camera for the living room as weird things have been happening when they aren’t there... skz x 9th member fem!reader / warnings - angst w happy ending, mentions of anxiety, paranoia, stalkers, and paranoid personality disorder / 3.2k words / a/n - this is the longest fic i've ever written 😭

"boo!"

"fuck!"

you gasped in shock, stumbling back as hyunjin popped out from behind the couch, a playful smile tugging at his lips.

"did i scare you?" he giggles, standing up properly and making his way towards you, failing to notice how you eyes were still quivering with fright and your tight grip on your phone.

"why would you do that, hyunjin?"

you sound off, your voice an octave higher and trembling with an emotion that confuses him. was he sensing anger?

"it's just a joke ynnie. calm down."

it wasn't just a joke to you, though. it was much more than that. but you couldn't to explain it to him, so you leave him in the living room with an eye roll, staring at your retreating figure in confusion.

hyunjin doesn't bring it up after that. maybe he just happened to catch you on one of your bad days.

but he begins noticing things ever since - things that weren't necessarily normal. things that you have always done, but this time when he really thinks about it, they're a bit strange.

how you're always extra jumpy, flinching at every loud sound, refusing to leave the house without an unnecessary amount of security, being extra cautious when you went to public events, and straight up refusing to socialize with anyone more than necessary.

your members always labelled it on you being an introvert. but to the extent that you barely even spoke about yourself to your own members? as though scared to trust them with information? that wasn't normal, was it?

hyunjin thinks hard. he's a bit worried about you, but he doesn't know what to do.

tell chan? no. chan didn't need more problems on his plate.

confront you? no. you hated confrontation. it would worsen things.

talk to another member about it? maybe. but you might get mad at him. you always hated people meddling with your personal life.

so he stays silent for a while, observing from a distance.

and he begins picking up on signs soon enough.

you were paranoid. extremely paranoid. he caught you looking over your shoulder every few minutes, expertly dodging personal questions, being hypersensitive to criticism, having spells of moodiness that followed no particular pattern, suddenly giving your own members the cold shoulder, over analysing every little interaction you had with people. it was worrisome.

yes maybe hyunjin was looking into it too much and it wasn't that big of a deal. but he couldn't brush off a certain thought nagging him at the back of his mind. something was definitely up, and it was about time he spoke to the others about it.

"I think yn has a stalker." hyunjin mutters, shifting uncomfortably in his seat under the blank gazes of the other 7.

"what?" chan sounds confused, eyebrows furrowed as he shares an unsure glance with lee know. "did she say anything?"

that was the problem. you didn't. so he had no solid proof other than his theories.

"well, not really" he rubs the back of his neck. "but something is wrong. I know it. she's been acting weird."

"weird as in?"

"it's the usual. she hasn't changed. but when you look into her habits, they're not normal hyung."

it's tense. nobody knows what to say until changbin breaks the silence.

"what do you mean by not normal?"

"I don't mean it in a bad way," hyunjin hastily defends. "it's the way she's so paranoid, always on the edge. it can't be anxiety. anxiety doesn't make you act that way. it's almost like she's scared of something or someone."

he leaves it at that, allowing for the others to ponder over it.

your managers hadn't mentioned anything. maybe it was a sasaeng bothering you? maybe you slipped up and you were scared to share it with the company? scared of their berating?

"we can't jump to conclusions, can we?" felix interjects, fingers anxiously drumming against the table.

hyunjin shakes his head. "we can't. that's why i've been observing her for the past few weeks, and this was the most reasonable explanation i could find."

"what exactly made you start looking into it?"

"i tried jump scaring her two weeks ago, when she thought she was alone at the dorms. and she was so livid she didn't even crack a smile. i thought maybe she was just in a bad mood but for a few days after she kept acting strange around me. she would barely speak to me and even when she did she wouldn't meet my eyes."

chan hums, a frown twisting against his features. if hyunjin's guess was correct, you could be in serious trouble. and if he thought about it, there may just be a chance the boy was right. if you really did have a stalker threatening you, the chances you told them about it were close to zero. you were never one to confide in people easily.

"let's not tell the managers about it, yeah? we'll all observe her too. try seeing if there's anything out of the ordinary?"

and so they all agree, leaving the company in a much worse mood than with which they had entered. you were alone back at the dorms. it was your first day off in a very long time. hence hyunjin had chosen that moment to tell the others.

the drive back is tense. nobody says much. a few of them scroll through social media, trying to see if there's any news about a stalker. but they come up with nothing.

everything seems normal.

that is until they reach their apartment.

the change is immediately obvious. when chan unlocks the door, he stumbles back in surprise when he sees their dinner table blocking the corridor of the entrance, preventing them from entering the living room. the couch had also noticeably shifted, turned such that anyone sitting on it would have a clear view of the windows and the front door. every window is shut, the latches bolted.

"what the fuck happened here?" seungmin mutters in shock, carefully lifting the table from one end and moving it to make space for them to enter. the entire layout had changed.

"where's yn?"

all of them are visibly terrified as they make their way deeper into the dorm, noticing the can of pepper spray lying on the center table.

"yn!"

no answer.

"fuck. I hope she's okay."

there's nothing they can do besides hope as they reach your door. it's locked. there's no sound coming from the other side.

"yn?" Chan's voice wavers as he silently knocks at your door.

no answer.

"yn! it's us!" lee know pounds against the door.

there's a moment of tense silence before they hear the unmistakable click of your lock.

"hi?"

your hair is ruffled and your eyes puffy. you had been asleep.

it takes you by surprise when jeongin pushes his hyungs aside to grab you by the shoulders, chest heaving with the fright you had given them.

"what's wrong innie? why do you guys look like you've seen a ghost?"

"what's wrong? you tell us yn. why is all our furniture completely rearranged?"

for the first time your eyes land on the living room, and you gulp.

shit. you forgot to clean up.

"there was a bee. I was trying to kill it."

"what?"

it sounds ridiculous even to your own ears, but it's the best excuse you have.

"yeah. that's why the windows are closed. it got in somehow and I lost it. I was just trying to search for it." you shrug.

"what about the pepper spray?"

"I couldn't find the bug repellent."

the excuses come to you naturally.

"yn please-"

"it's not that big of a deal, oppa" you cut chan off, defensively crossing your arms. "you know I hate bugs. that's all there is to this. now will you please let me go back to sleep?"

you don't wait for their reply, shutting the door and locking it, leaving your members half confused and half exasperated. you were lying to them.

"please tell me none of you believed her." hyunjin whispers into the silence of the afternoon, taking care that you don't overhear them.

"something's definitely wrong," han agrees, his foot bouncing unconsciously against the carpet. "she's hiding something."

"but what?"

the million dollar question. what were you hiding? was it really a stalker?

"should we tell the managers about it now?"

"I think we should," lee know adds, looking at the others for confirmation.

"don't you think she'll be angry? she doesn't like people meddling with her business. you know how defensive she gets."

all of them turn to chan. in the end, it would be his say.

"I think we should try figuring out the reason first ourselves."

"but-"

"a motion detector and CCTV camera might work. hidden from sight, of course. it would alert us."

changbin hums, agreeing with their leader. "We could give it a try. It's better than nothing."

and so the plan is set. felix makes an excuse of buying parts for his PC and brings home the camera and motion detector. when you go to shower the next morning, the device is expertly concealed and motion detectors set in place.

chan insists you stay back that day too, going on for a long time about something related to your health and dark circles and what not. you agree reluctantly, and they don't fail to notice it. you didn't want to be alone. that was something.

"don't worry ynnie," jeongin reassures you as he ties his shoe lace while the others wait for him at the entrance. "the company is only 5 minutes away, we wont be far."

"are we just going to wait around here with nothing to do?" lee know asks, leaning back into the couch in their dance room.

"we don't have another option."

and so they do exactly that - wait. but it's not for long.

fifteen minutes into their boredom the first alarm goes off. the motion detectors had been triggered and the bell rings from chan's phone - where the control system had been set up.

"quick, check the camera!"

all eight of them huddle around chan's screen, watching intently at the familiar sight of their living room, eyes scanning for any sign of someone trying to break in.

but it's only you. you're pacing the living room, hands wringing by your side as you keep looking over your shoulder, flinching every time a paper rustles or the curtains move from the wind.

"what's wrong with her?"

felix furrows his brows, looking at the controls on chan's screen to make sure that the motion detector outside their front hasn't been activated. that meant nobody was trying to break in.

"she seems terrified."

"call her."

seungmin wastes no time in dialing your contact, and they watch in unison as you very nearly jump out of your skin when your phone goes off, a hand going to clutch your chest as you collapse into the couch.

"hello?"

your voice sounds normal. they wouldn't have suspected anything if they couldn't see your leg anxiously bouncing.

"is everything okay there?" seungmin asks carefully. he can't giveaway that they're secretly keeping an eye on you.

"uh yeah- yeah sure. everything is fine. why?"

"no reason. I was just taking a break."

"oh."

"alright stay safe. We'll be back in a while."

Seungmin is just about to hang up when you stop him.

"wait!"

for the first time a hysterical note seeps into your voice.

"yes?"

he's met with silence as they notice you pondering over something through the camera.

"yn?"

"nevermind. it's nothing. don't overwork yourself."

chan sighs deeply as he listens to you over the speaker, his fingers tightly gripping the edges of his phone.

you mutter your bye, and they watch you get up, carefully placing your phone on the table.

and then you do what they had been waiting for.

pushing your weight against the couch, you move it directly towards the wall, leaving no gap in between.

another alarm goes off on chan's phone.

then you angle it a bit, the same way they had found it the day before, such that you have a clear view of all entrances to the dorm.

all this while anxiously looking over your shoulder, once even jumping a bit as your foot got stuck on a fold in the carpet. your movements are tense, screaming with urgency, and it's the breaking point for them.

"that's it. we're going back," changbin huffs as he stands up, the other following behind quickly. chan maintains his concentration on the screen.

"she's turning on the t.v," chan informs, slinging his laptop bag over his shoulder and following them out of the building.

the ride back is silent. if their manager picks up on the strange atmosphere he doesn't mention it, and they're grateful to that. lying to their manager would be worse than hiding this from him.

it's only a five minutes drive, but it feels like eternity. when they finally enter the building, running up the stairs, it's eerie how peaceful their apartment looks from the out.

"do we knock or?"

"no. it might scare her."

seungmin pulls out the key from his pocket, trying to be as soft as possible as he unlocks the door, not wanting to startle you with any sudden noise.

"yn?"

chan quickly turns off his phone, stepping through the threshold.

you're sitting exactly where they saw you, some show mindlessly playing on the t.v. your eyes lock in on them as you scramble up.

"you guys are early. it's barely been half an hour."

should they tell you truth? confront you? try to coax it out of you? be subtle about it?

"guys?"

they snap out of their trance, their voices immediately breaking the silence of the dorm.

"yeah! we didn't want to leave you by yourself for long."

"oh."

you take your place on the couch, and raise a brow as they all settle themselves around you too. they don't change or wash up or anything. they just silently occupy any empty space they can find.

it's strange.

"are you guys ok?" you voice, turning off the t.v to look at felix who's sitting beside you.

silence.

they all exchange glances. someone has to bring it up.

"are you okay?" hyunjin finally asks, turning his body to face yours.

"what?"

"yn, please. just answer him."

"no no what do you mean hyune?"

you voice is an octave higher, hands digging into the leather cushion of their couch.

"yn," chan tries to pacify. they hadn't expected this to escalate over a simple question.

"what? why are all of you looking at me like that? i'm fine there's nothing wrong with me."

"yn-"

"stop interfering in things that aren't your business!" you finally snap, cutting felix off as you stand up, turning to face them. "this is none of your business so keep out of it!"

you're breathing heavily and a beat passes in silence.

"yn, what's wrong love?"

chan carefully gets up to put an arm over your shoulder, gently pulling you down to sit. you're trembling and barely half a minute passes before you crumble into chan's shoulder - suddenly - sobs punctuating the silence of the afternoon.

"i'm sorry," you manage between gasps. "i'm so sorry."

even chan look alarmed as he hurriedly tries to calm you down.

"there's nothing to be sorry about, ynnie. please talk to us."

but you can barely talk. you're all but wailing as the other seven huddle around you, their reassurances mixing together.

"i lied. i've been a terrible friend, snapping at you all the time. i'm so sorry it's all my fault."

"yn-"

"nothing is okay. everything is a mess and i don't know what to do."

the leader gently coaxes your face out from where it's nestled in his neck, and rubs a thumb below your waterline, collecting the salt streams streaking down your face.

"ynnie. please calm down, yeah? we want to help. tell us what's wrong."

"i'm- i'm messed up, chan. that's what is wrong."

"don't say that! it's not true."

you break down into another torment of sobs, and they hurry to calm you down.

"it's my head. it's messing with me. something is wrong. i just-," you voice breaks as chan leans to plant a soft kiss against your temple. "-i just don't know what."

"what do you mean?" hyunjin asks softly.

you take your time, elaborating through sobs and broken gasps about your suspected condition. if you had thought they would judge you, you were completely wrong. they listen attentively, comforting you through it.

"i don't want to, but i can't help it," you whisper, leaning into chan's touch. "my brain convinces me that there's always someone hiding just beyond my sight. everytime i speak to someone i'm wired into believing they'll use that information against me somehow, or they'll try to harm me. public events are a nightmare. i don't remember the last time i've been to an award show and felt alright."

"oh yn."

han all but pounces on you and chan, ruffling your hair as hiccups wrack through your figure.

they've never seen you like this. they've never seen anyone like this, in fact.

"it's so loud in my head. it started off small, i didn't even notice when i began thinking or feeling this way. but it just got worse and worse to the point where i've been an absolute pain to all of you - snapping at you, lying to you, fighting with you. i just- i don't know what to do anymore."

"hey hey, listen to me, yeah? this is not your fault. and you haven't been a pain. don't ever think that again," chan reminds you, coaxing you to face him, heart breaking a little at the tears streaking your face.

"but-"

"nope. nuh-uh. no blaming this on yourself."

you chin wobbles as you try to control a fresh onslaught of sobs.

all of them are so understanding you don't even know if you're crying from all the love or the confrontation.

"we'll help you through this, yn. we promise. you don't have to suffer through this alone."

"you don't have to do this. you're all already so busy and-"

"your mental health is a lot more important to us than anything else," felix interjects flatly, rubbing a soothing hand over your back.

"yeah! you've been hiding this for so long and we just want to help you feel better again! no matter what it takes."

you flash a grateful smile to changbin through the tears, earning an encouraging grin from him.

"you're all too nice for your own good. thank you."

"don't worry you can repay us by letting me jump scare you!"

"yah hyunjin do you want to be stuffed into the air fryer?"

it didn't take a genius to figure out who the comment came from as you giggled softly.

it's going to be okay, you think. you know your boys will help you through it, and that itself was the first step of your recovery.

you'll be fine.

©lixie-phoria, 2024

[ms-demeanor]

since twitter has become actively hostile to its users, so they came to tumblr, and reddit has become actively hostile to its users, so they came to tumblr, what do we do now that tumblr is becoming (more) actively hostile to its users? i’ve been here for over a decade so i know tumblr users are the type to cling on despite everything and revel in undoing every change, but i’m so tired of the way this website breaks the way it fundamentally works in order to appeal to new users. the twitterfication of the site seems so much worse than when people jumped ship after the porn ban, and even then, only small communities (and twitter) cropped up as solutions. you might not be the person to ask for a definitive answer, but i figured a tech blog might be interested in considering - what do we do when there’s nowhere left to go?

Okay so, I mean this very seriously: how has tumblr meaningfully become like twitter?

I don't personally find the sidebar view obnoxious and it seems to me like just another layout change that's pretty typical to tumblr. New users are getting signed up with a bit more emphasis on algorithmic feeds, but that is still very easy to change (MUCH easier than on any other social platform) and the algorithm has been there for everyone for quite a while, we just typically don't notice it because a lot of long-term tumblr users don't go into the "for you" feed.

I don't think that tumblr *has* fundamentally broken the way that it works to appeal to new users. My dash now is still very much like my dash in 2019, and still very much like my dash in 2018 (though much less pornographic). Reblogs are still reblogs, likes are still likes. Replies, for all that they seem like they've been around forever, are new and good and I think they work well. I'm irritated that the notes menu doesn't have a "view all" option but I think that's a worthwhile tradeoff for an easy way to see tags.

I *do not* understand why tumblr has broken linking back to previous reblogs but I don't think that's out of an effort to act like twitter; it is a bizarre choice that I dislike and don't understand but I also don't think that it has fundamentally changed the way the site works and i mean you've been around long enough that I'm sure you've had the same experience I have of going into the notes of a post and randomly clicking until you found a version that you wanted to reblog without a bunch of bullshit at the bottom. Tumblr has always kind of sucked, this change DOES suck but it doesn't suck in a way that is particularly novel or insurmountable. (For instance, I think this change sucks MUCH LESS than when they made posts with links invisible to the search, that is something that is genuinely bad that has been long lasting but doesn't get brought up much in lists of the ways that tumblr has gone wrong)

Tumblr *is* changing, but I think it is changing more incrementally and less terribly than other parts of the internet. I also hate the floating clown, the login walls, the dash-only view for blogs (you can't archive it and I HATE that), and - to an extent - the new lightbox on mobile. And I dislike that less than I thought I would but I don't think it's a fundamental change that necessarily impacts my interactions with the site - it *adds* a feature that I don't care for but it doesn't *break* anything that I require to have a good time on tumblr - in that way I think of it very much like Live. People hate Live so much and I find that perplexing because it is so easy to simply ignore it.

But that's not really your question; that's just some stuff I want people to think about because as much as tumblr has changed in the last two years it is nowhere near as fucked up as the recent things that twitter and reddit have pulled.

So, as to your question: where do we go?

Well. Not to be an extremely old person on the internet, but damned if I don't miss email lists. And forums. God I miss forums. Neither of those things has all the bonuses of platforms like twitter or reddit or tumblr or facebook, but they were great ways to hang out with people you liked on the internet.

The internet is changing. I can feel it, you can feel it, I'm pretty sure we're all like cattle in a field lifting our noses and hearing some distant rumbling and becoming slowly aware that it's almost time to run. There's a coming stampede and it isn't here yet but you know it's on its way. You're not imagining that, that's how things feel right now and there are a shitload of things contributing to it.

Things like SESTA/FOSTA and KOSA (which has not passed yet but is a big red flag waving on the horizon) have been eroding away the way that users on various platforms can function. Some platforms have consolidated in ways that harm users; some new platforms have popped up and shaken up the map of the internet; some platforms are being torn apart brick by brick by owners who don't care about the users. It kind of seems like people are actually looking up and realizing that advertising is A) bad and B) doesn't actually work and I think we're running straight toward another advertising-based crash like we saw in 2017. It feels like all the desperate things that tumblr is doing is just rearranging deck chairs on the titanic as the internet as a whole starts to sink into the ocean.

Honestly, I don't think it's that bad. I think it *feels* bad, but I think we're looking at a slow whimpering death of the platforms, not a bang. I think tumblr is going to hang on at least for a few years and I think it's going to end up like livejournal and myspace, which both still exist as websites that are recognizable as updated versions of the sites they were in 2004-2010. The thing that I think would really, honestly hurt tumblr in a fundamental way is if it moved to a more algorithmic and data-sales based model of advertising, and I think that's still pretty distant. I think Automattic is aware that killing the chronological feed would be the one unforgivable sin that would cause a mass exodus and a final crash, and I think when we see that, when we can't just scroll through the feed and see what our friends did that day in order of when they did it, that's when the party is over here.

But that's still not answering your question.

So, where do we go? What do we do? Well, for now, I'd say it's a good time to get contact info for your friends across various platforms. Get email addresses, get phone numbers.

Now is also the time for you to set up a personal website. NeoCities is currently the best place to do this, though it takes a lot more effort than just starting a blog on tumblr. I think that various oldschool blogging sites like Wordpress and Blogger/Blogspot/whatever the hell the google one is are a better place to have your emergency backup than a more platform-y platform if you aren't up to doing something with NeoCities.

If you've got the ability to do so and a group of people who are interested in the same core subject, set up a forum. There's a decent amount of off-the-shelf forum software out there and a text-and-small-images forum isn't prohibitively expensive, but it's never going to be huge and you're never going to have the kind of spread and virality and random connections that you would on a platform with millions or billions of users.

If you can't set up a forum, setting up or joining a discord server for your friends is a decent enough option at the moment, and may be a very good option for people who are looking to keep their interactions more private.

But yeah i think right now is a great time for people to start setting up their own personal websites, to start visiting actual webpages again, to start bookmarking their friends' websites, and to start collecting contact info that isn't tied to platforms.

[shakingparadigm]

Hiiii!!! I’m relatively new to ALNST (as in I watched it all in one go in one night and cried) and I was wondering if you have any opinions or information about this,

What do you think about Till and Sua’s relationship? Do you think they’d share anything in common? Do you think they’d like each other? I’d like to think there’s at least one thing they share in common that’s led to be on good terms.

Sorry this is a bit long, thank you!

First of all, thank you anon. I've had thoughts on this for a while! Thanks for giving me a chance to talk about it!

Till and Sua don't often interact in canon, so it's pretty easy to assume that Sua would hate Till's guts because of his crush on Mizi (especially since that art of Mizi playing with Till includes Sua looking jealous on the side, sulking in the next page).

But something to note about the characters in ALNST is that they're actually quite respectful of each other despite the crush conflict (further seen by Ivan and Mizi being very friendly despite Ivan knowing Till loves Mizi). Everyone in the garden knew Till had a crush on Mizi, the goodbye notes state that it was very obvious.

Yet despite that one instance of Sua pouting at Mizi and Till together, Sua is never shown to dislike Till. In fact, she seems to be more conflicted with Ivan instead. In the few official arts we have of them together, they seem pretty neutral.

(Sua's collar is green, showing she's comfortable/doesn't mind Till. Till's collar is orange most likely because he's a little nervous/awkward.)

In the official Anakt Kit goodbye letters, Till and Sua write messages to each other. They're short and seem more of a polite gesture than an actual goodbye between friends, but nothenless it shows that they're pretty amicable. Till writes that Sua has a nice voice and that he hopes she gets a high score in Alien Stage, while Sua tells him to take care and that she'll see him there.

I think that Sua and Till actually have the potential to be pretty good friends, strangely enough.

As for similarities, there are quite a few!

The most significant similarity I see between Till and Sua is that they're both deeply sensitive. Due to this, they've developed different defense mechanisms in order to protect their feelings.

Till is actually known to be timid, rather closed off and "cold" to others. In an early stream, he's even stated to be the most timid character of the cast. He only reveals his energetic and fiery side when he's putting his full passion into something like performing his music, when he's provoked, or whenever Mizi is involved (she makes him "strong", the creators say). Of course this standoffish and aggressive behavior is a front for his softer, more vulnerable feelings. He was heavily mistreated as a child, which led him to become distrustful of most people. This plus other factors regarding his rebellious nature and more eccentric personality result in him being a "friendless idiot". Of course, once people get to know him they'll find that Till is actually quite the sweetheart, albeit a bit awkward.

Sua is quite similar in this way. The creators describe her as soft-hearted, which is why she tears up so quickly in the IvanSua comic and the aforementioned art of Till and Mizi playing together.

Sua, just like Till, seems to be mistreated by her alien guardian. Although to a less violent extent than Guardian Urak, Sua's parent is seen to aggressively handle her without care, grabbing her by the head and shoving her forward. She's also placed in uncomfortable clothing and neglected without consideration for her own feelings. It may be due to this cold and lonely upbringing that Sua learned to hide her emotions as a coping mechanism.

It's been said that getting to know more about Sua is very difficult, as she's closed off and only ever opens up to Mizi. She seems cold on the surface, but the truth is she is hiding her sensitivity so that she won't get hurt. Sua is also very timid in nature, seen in how she only writes in the corners of people's yearbook pages with small font, putting in extra effort to not take up too much space.

But just like Till, Sua has her bolder side. Occasionally she's known to say very blunt and suprising things that other people would not expect of her, and she feels very deeply for the people she cares about. Sua may be the more cool and collected half of MiziSua, but we must not forget that she was tender-hearted to the point where she could not imagine living a life without Mizi in it, thus her sacrifice.

Both Sua and Till's original colors are white, and both are the only characters in the main cast who have ear piercings/earrings. They're both prone to tears and play the role of "god" in their respective relationships.

Something I really like about the ALNST offrec/actor AU is that among all the characters, Till and Sua were chosen to be the seniors!! I found it really cute! Sua, who is the most petite and smallest of the cast + Till, who in canon is the youngest in age. These two are actually the experienced seniors of the actor AU! It's so fun to me lol

Anyways, sorry for all of this, maybe it was a bit much, haha. Till and Sua are my two favorites, and I've always seen similarities between the two of them. I think there's similarities across several of the characters in ALNST, actually, which I hope to talk about in the future!

Thank you for the ask!!

[meanbossart]

Just gotta say that the way you draw facial expressions is soooo dynamic, and your art makes me grin with equal feral glee when I see it. 🥰

I love your spooky smiley deranged durge, will you tell me more facts about them?

Thank you so much! And YES i certainly can uuhhh lets see

-In my personal canon he has no name, having first assumed to have forgotten it along with everything else and later being told/figuring out that he renounced any in favor of being called Bhaalspawn, Slayer, Death Bringer, Bhaaling, and any number of edgy titles we hear throughout the game lol he did this pre-tadpole to emphasize his birth-right and deny himself any personal identity. He never picked a name for himself post-tadpole and everyone just refers to him as The Drow, Astarion also calls him his usual pet names.

-He's not necessarily one for luxuries but still likes pretty, ostentatious things, especially jewelry. Pre-tadpole DU drow wore them generously, post-tadpole doesn't understand his own fascination, but he likes wearing rings and holds some sentimentality for specific pieces. (he never threw away the "magic" ring he stole from the tiefling child in act 1)

-Every expression of love and affection he had pre-tadpole came out pretty twisted, but with this in mind he very much adored Orin, though you would never guess it from seeing how they interacted with each other.

-The patterned scars on his chest, face and neck were mostly self inflicted (the rest he had Orin's help for). The one's on his arms were an "accident" kinda but he still put them there willingly (and gleefully lol)

-He has a borderline irrational hatred for drow women. He hates drows in general, though mostly because they're uptight and snobby and less so because of, yknow, all the slavery and child killing etc.

-Despite looking evil as hell he's very much morally neutral post-tadpole. He's pretty much a "do what you have to do to survive" kind of guy - and sometimes a "because i want to" kind of guy lol.

-He thinks very highly of himself which makes him overly bold. This got him through the whole campaign and destroying the brain but it also makes him a huge liability LOL its also a source of conflict in his and Astarion's relationship because he lowkey doesn't think Astarion can make it without him - he continuously and completely fails to realize how this is an issue.

-The only other people he has respect for and trusts are Shadowheart, Astarion and Jaheira. Ironically these are all people he didn't get along with well at all at the start.

-He's kind of a hopeless romantic, he's just weird about it. He's pretty much picked Astarion as his person and kind of devotes his life to him now, sometimes to a troubling extent.

-I'm writing a whole story that takes place post-game here where you can gleam a lot more about his character and learn things that i can't share yet because it would be a spoiler hint hint nudge nudge

[seriousbrat]

let sirius (and james) be mean

Obviously in SWM both James and Sirius are atrocious towards Snape but I think it's pretty revealing how mean they also are to their best friends, especially Peter:

And while I think James possibly grew out of his mean girl phase to some extent Sirius didn't, at least not fully. To be fair he's usually not outright rude unless he dislikes someone-- mostly, he's dismissive or impatient especially when someone says something he perceives as stupid, as well as being overall insensitive to the feelings of others.

In the prequel they're both fairly insensitive and rude to two terrified Muggles lol, I mean who cares and it's funny but there are examples of Sirius being something of a mean girl later on as an adult. obviously, the famous one:

and yeah you can defend this by saying he was stuck in grimmauld place and frustrated, bla bla bla, I do get it and I still love him and don't think it makes him a terrible person or godfather but objectively this is an incredibly mean thing to say to Harry.

Other somewhat minor instances that nevertheless paint a wide picture:

OotP (I'm leaving out his interactions with Kreacher bc those are self evident)

-------

-------

he's also kind of dismissive towards Harry's feelings at certain points. A good example of this is the stiff "one-armed hug" and gruff goodbye he gives him when they leave for Hogwarts after christmas, or this earlier conversation:

Also, how he talks about Regulus. obviously it's somewhat justified since Sirius believes him to have just been a Death Eater, but he specifically calls Regulus stupid rather than just saying he was a bad person. This is interesting because it can be inferred that Regulus was not stupid at all, given that he figured out the secret of the Horcruxes. imo Sirius was too dismissive of his brother to actually know who he really was.

(and bonus him being snippy with Harry)

GoF

like this is probably true but it's still rude lol, as is this from OotP which has definite mean girl vibes:

next:

so this on its own doesn't seem especially mean but it does come after Sirius has basically dismissed every single thing that Ron has said lol, even raising his hand at one point to shut him up. It's not the worst but imo does indicate his impatience with "stupidity" which we also see in SWM:

and James has this too:

imo this shared feeling of superiority and mutual delight in their own intelligence were big factors in his closeness with james.

ALL THIS TO SAY, Sirius was mean lol ESPECIALLY as a teen. my rude scorpio child. So I think when writing teen Sirius it's an important part of his characterisation (and James's) for him not only to be rude/disdainful to people he hates but also just generally. It's also why it's extra ridiculous that he's portrayed as dumb in fanon seeing as he's very often dismissive and judgmental to those he perceives as being of lesser intelligence.

And this isn't a criticism of Sirius at all, I love him and tbh his mean streak is one of the things that make him so fun to write for me. He's a beloved character and I understand the desire to paint him in a positive light, but he wasn't perfect. As others have said the friendship between the Marauders wasn't something idyllic and aspirational, it's a warning story to Harry. Furthermore, kindness towards Kreacher being something that helps them find the Horcrux is also a lesson for Harry.

Sirius's insensitivity to the feelings of others was what got him killed, his insensitivity and disdain for peter led in part to James and Lily's deaths too. it doesn't make him a terrible person, just a flawed one.

[starry-eyed-steve]

What do you have against Ronance? It's clear Robin was attracted to Nancy as well as Vickie. Not only that, she jumped off a boat into monster-water for her, for goodness' sake. It's a bad-faith argument to say that people don't ship Vickie with Robin because she's a bisexual sapphic woman. Greatwise/Will and Gareth is not comparable in the slightest as that is a crack ship that never interacted. We DID have scenes with Robin and Vickie, though few.

And I'm gonna be So For Real, more people would ship Rovickie if Ronance was not there. People would devour those crumbs. But why choose crumbs, when you have a potential meal we spent a whole season with?

Okay, so this is really long, I'm sorry this took way too much time. I know I went a bit overboard. If there are any errors, please ignore lmao. Thank you for sending me an ask for a discussion. I also want to preface that I don't hate Nancy as a character, I don't like how she is written in certain situations and that the show overlooks mistakes she makes, and by pointing out those mistakes on her behalf is not me hating on her. Overall, I think she deserves better than what she is given both in the show and fandom.

First things first, Robin didn't jump into the water for Nancy. It was a delayed response after seeing her best friend being dragged under water. She's not as brave as Nancy. If we would apply the same logic, then Eddie would have jumped for Robin because he's in love with her. So no Robin jumped for Steve and should have been the first to do so, but because that scene was used for Stancy later (Eddie giving the speech to Steve in the woods) it had to be Nancy in that instance. It's really bothering me that this scene is so misread because people just don't get Robin's character. Who would you jump for, your best friend you know better than yourself or the girl you met a day ago?

The whole premise of Ronance (platonic or romantic) in s4 was so ooc for Robin, s3 Robin would have never acted the way like s4 Robin did. And I think that has something to do with what I said in the other post. We don't have enough time. There is no conflict when different groups of people come together because the show needs everyone to get along to save the world, and they couldn't elaborate on complex feelings a person might have towards others. So the show made Robin throw herself at Nancy's feet, despite thinking not too highly about her a season prior. Same with Steddie, the OG script was about how Steve and Eddie didn't get along first but it was cut out because there is no time to proper develop new relationships, even tho it would be more interesting. But again, that would mean the show would have to give us more episodes, which is unfortunately not the case.

So you see, I just don't think Robin would have acted the way she did around Nancy based on the character traits she displayed in s3. Furthermore, I will bring up Steve, which is a sensitive topic when it comes to Ronance. I don't want to come off as someone who in general makes a lesbian/sapphic relationship about a man's feelings, however because Steve has history with both girls I can't ignore him because Robin wouldn't either.

A little bit of background of Robin prior to meeting Nancy:

In s3, Robin couldn't stand Steve, and later, we found out why. It had mostly to do with her crush, Tammy Thompson, who had only eyes for him. Yeah, he was obnoxious, and Robin couldn't stand his smugness and arrogance, but the main reason was Tammy and her being kinda jealous of Steve in general because he had no problems fitting in. So she held on to this grudge against Steve for maybe even years. That tells us she doesn't forget when someone has wronged her and maybe, to an extent, her friends. Like she seems to be a person who has your back, no matter what.

Idk if you consider Rebel Robin as canon (I mean Maya narrated the podcast soo I mostly view it that way) but before Barb was Nancy's bff, she was close with Robin and later ditched her for Nancy. That in itself would leave a bad taste in Robin's mouth, and I guess she wouldn't be Nancy's biggest fan. Maybe that's why the priss comment in s3. Again, she had no problem disliking Steve because her crush liked him, but then she does an 180 with Nancy despite Barb being her actual friend leaving her for Nancy. Losing a friend to another person is much worse than a crush you never talked to, not liking you back or liking someone else.

But even if you ignore the Barb stuff and don't think it's canon, Robin still wouldn't be Nancy's biggest fan in the beginning and that has something to do with how Stancy ended and Jancy begun. You have to keep in mind Steve is Robin's bff, one if not the most important person in her life. He's everything to her she trusts him completely. He was maybe even the first person to know she was gay. Then why on earth would Robin A try to befriend Nancy, who broke his heart, and B trying to push her without a thought to get together with him again. It doesn't make any sense to me, based on how Robin was introduced.

Steve may have not any hard feelings for Nancy, maybe he only said positive things about her to Robin because he still views himself as the only person who fucked up in that relationship and not that Nancy was already in love with Jonathan for a while before things ended. Idk where you stand on the whole cheating thing, but it doesn't matter because rumors outside of the relationship would spread. Steve, the most popular guy in school, who is well liked, got left by his girlfriend of 1 year for the school freak, not even 2 days after a public fight. Like people would go crazy and Robin would have heard those rumors as well. You have to admit getting together with a new guy, not even after 48h is, I don't want to say weird, but not very cool, okay? Plus, Tommy would spread extra nasty shit because he hates Nancy and Jonathan and wants to hurt Steve as well. Robin would view her through those rumors, plus Steve having a hard time letting go, being heartbroken about it, there is no doubt in my mind that she wouldn't side eye Nancy.

Those two reasons, Barb and how Stancy ended, are the main ones as to why I think Robin was ooc for desperately wanting to befriend Nancy.

So the way I would have built up Ronance would be Robin being aloof towards her, and Nancy would have been the one who wanted to befriend her in the first place. Nancy never has to work for her relationships with others. People usually make the first move with her, so she never has to give much thought to it. Like Steve still loves her, Jonathan was ready to follow her wherever even if it endangered his family, and Fred followed her around like a lost puppy as well. And with Robin, it could have gone differently. Nancy should have made it her mission to make it up to Robin. Like she desperately wants a friend, she doesn't understand why Robin is being cold to her. By making her the instigator, Nancy would have to reflect on her mistakes and how she treated people, which would finally give her some personal character growth. Plus, it would have made the introduction to Stancy (romantic or platonic) way smoother and more balanced because Nancy never reflected on it. Steve's just available she doesn't have to make it up to him as well. Nancy never really addresses her faults in relationships, and the narrative in Stranger Things lets her off the hook every time. Letting Steve believe he was a terrible boyfriend despite liking Jonathan instead of him? No problem, no consequences. Steve still likes her. In s3 the show was again on her side when she fought with Jonathan by giving her the Karen pep talk, yes she apologized to him but she didn't understand his struggles really because she gave him the don't ever doubt me comment which kinda destroyed her apology imo. Furthermore, as soon as there was a rough patch in s4 with Jonathan, she expected him to come to her instead of going to him and fixing it because she has the financial means to do so, which indicates she still doesn't fully understand Jonathan's financial problems. Also, in general, Jonathan is terrified to tell her the truth, so he gets high to cope. It doesn't seem that he thinks Nancy is understanding.

Again, Robin could have been the person that would have made her realize wait, the way I take people for granted, and sometimes treat is wrong. Instead, we got yet another person instantly liking her and going along with everything she does, so Nancy never had to do anything for it, despite the obvious conflicts that should have arisen when they first met. But like I said before, the show doesn't have much time and focuses more on the plot, so there is no real development for characters, and everyone has to get along. I also think Stranger Things wanted a strong girl duo like Elmax, so they just threw Ronance together without conflict because they wanted to avoid drama, which would take up too much screentime. I can't emphasize the fact that Stranger Things suffers so much because it has too much plot and not enough time. Plus, I believe making Robin angry at Nancy on Steve's behalf would mean acknowledging that Stancy ended in a bad way or that Jancy maybe didn't have this cute start as a romance, but that would also mean recognizing Steve might have not been the only one who was wrong which is simply not possible. When s2 aired and people pointed out hey did Nancy cheat on Steve, did they really break up because a lot of people didn't view the fight in the ally as a break, especially because Nancy mentions she likes Steve at Murray's and Steve went to her house, the Duffers had to confirm it via interviews because I doubt they thought people would sympathize with Steve. Hence, why the narrative only blames him because they wanted the audience root for Jancy.

Long story short, I would have switched roles for platonic Ronance in the show. When it comes to romantic Ronance, that's mostly on the fandom. Everyone is allowed to ship whatever, I personally just don't think they are a good match. I don't see Nancy being patient enough with Robin's neurodivergent ways. She wouldn't handle her rambling over time very well. Nancy gets quickly irrated and snaps. Like Robin already felt the need to explain herself to her, making sure everything is okay because Nancy made her feel like her personality is too much and has faults, like her mom constantly tells her. Whereas with Vickie, she felt immediately at ease when they talked. More of that later. Robin is also poor, maybe a bit better off than Jonathan, but still, Nancy already doesn't get Jonathan's problems. Another reason is that because Steve is Robin's bff, Robin wouldn't want to date her all together. Like she sees Steve still likes her, she knows how much Nancy hurt him to a point that he is serial dating because he has like trust issues, that would immediately turn her off. Robin values Steve's friendship way too much than try to jeopardize it in any way. It's not like Steve wouldn't allow her to date Nancy, I think he would do everything to make Robin happy even if it costs his own happiness. Robin knows Steve. She would know that he would be hurt, and that's ultimately the factor that turns her off. Maya already confirmed that Robin values platonic relationships so much, so yeah. Just think about it that way. How would Robin feel if Steve suddenly would show interest in Vickie and starts dating her? That would be kinda fucked, same goes for Ronance, Robin knows Steve still likes her. I'm also a believer that you shouldn't necessarily date your bffs ex, it's just too messy especially if that relationship ended rather badly.

@findafight had this amazing post about one-sided Ronance, where they described exactly what I'm trying to convey. Nancy is the one interested, but ultimately, Robin declines because of her relationship to Steve. They also have several other posts about Ronance if you want to check it out. Another blog that discusses Ronance and has similar opinions is @thestobingirlie

What I dislike the most is that in Ronance, mostly Robin is only an ounce of her typical character. Her relationship with Steve is downplayed. She makes fun of him with Nancy, she lies to him about her relationship, even asks for sex advice in some fics which is just very weird and so ooc for her to do. Same goes for Steddie, as soon as either Steve or Robin go into a relationship both characters are so ooc, you almost don't recognize them, plus they only have time for their partners and their friendship gets sidelined, which again doesn't make sense for their characters. Ronance is also mostly beneficial to Nancy as it's viewed more how Robin can save her so she doesn't have to end up with a man. Hence, all the posts about how Robin is the only person who gets her, which is also such a shitty thing to say because both Jonathan and Steve were trying. Like Nancy's character development hinges more on her relationship with Robin than doing some soul-searching. Because for real, all her relationships so far are kinda meh because she doesn't know how to communicate properly with her partners, Robin wouldn't magically make everything better because she's a girl. Nancy needs to be single first and discover who she is without jumping in a new relationship. She needs therapy and has to work on her people skills to be a better partner for future relationships.

Also, so many people want Nancy to have a friend, and when Robin comes along, they immediately make it romantic. Robin can still be there for Nancy and understand her as a friend. I don't think she was romantically interested in Nancy in the show. She was actively pushing for Stancy. She only ever talked about being into Vickie romantically. Robin should be allowed to make a friend who is a girl without making it into a romance just because she is a lesbian. Lesbians can have platonic girl friends, lol. Fact is that so many see Robin interacting with a girl as romantic because she is looking at her and then ignore her real crush she talks about all the time.

Now to Rovickie and Vickie. What I meant with people not giving Vickie a chance because she's a girl and interested in a sapphic relationship is a common occurrence throughout fandoms in general. Guys are usually preferred when talking about characters or shipping. Girls have it so much harder. Like with Gareth, I don't think my comparison of him and Vickie was nonsensical or dumb. The fandom had no problems coming up with interesting headcanons for him, even outside the crackship. Almost all the hellfire boys, but especially Gareth because he's the most objectively attractive one of the group, got more love from the fandom. Vickie, on the other hand, is mostly used as the villain in Ronance fics, who is in the way of the main ship. People in general call her boring or too similar to Robin, which is insane because we have one scene where she rambles because she is talking to her potential crush. Also, being similar doesn't have to mean it's bad. Like I mentioned earlier, Vickie rambling is showing Robin it's okay to do so, which makes her feel immediately relaxed because she doesn't have to explain herself to Vickie. Not to mention the biphobia that runs through fandoms. The fact that Vickie had a boyfriend, who she broke up with, was enough. People usually headcanon Nancy as a lesbian than making her bi. Steve's only a bi icon when he's shipped with guys, like him dating a girl is seen as less valued or popular. Again, everyone can headcanon characters sexuality how they like, you do you it's just apparent that characters who are seen as bi are only celebrated for dating a person of the same sex.

Lastly, think about it if Vickie was a guy who was the love interest for Steve, there would be non-stop content for her. She would be well loved within the fandom. But Vickie is a girl, and if she were used as the love interest for Steve instead of Robin, she would also face the same scrutiny the already faces now. She's the villain in the way of ships because she's only a side character and not the full meal like you described. A male characters even with almost no screentime, will always get better treatment than female characters.

[sophieinwonderland]

r/systemscringe user ponders the question of whether they would still hate endogenic systems if we stopped calling ourselves systems. It goes... predictably.

Before going on... let me just stop and say how sad I think it is that u/DustyArcade is befriending people to bait them into revealing personal details about themselves for Reddit Karma.

While it seems hopeful that they're more open-minded than some of the others on the general concept of plurality, this is a really gross behavior.

Spoiler: the answer to this question is yes!

But before we get into that...

PSA: Beware @/Cains-Coin-Shop

Now, I am going to get into the comments, but before I do, we need to take an intermission for a PSA regarding u/DustyArcade. When looking at their post history, I ran across this.

The blog has apparently been reinstated in the week since that post.

And they're apparently an anti-endo tulpamancer.

I remember running across this not too long ago, thinking about responding, but deciding not to. Though given that this user is baiting people into friendships to post to Reddit, WATCH OUT FOR THIS BLOG.

I don't know of this is their bait blog or just another blog they happen to run. But either way, they aren't a safe individual to interact with if you're concerned about being posted to r/systemscringe.

Now, back to our regularly-scheduled debunking...

"They're already saying they don't have DID/OSDD but they're still faking it" is some of the wildest reasoning I've ever seen.

Now, "used by" is a pretty interesting use of words. Because sure, there are plenty of DID/OSDD systems who use these terms. But remember that "plural" was created in the 90s as an alternative to the medicalized "multiple." Likewise, "collective" and similar terms were created to distance people from medicalized terms like "system."

It's pretty clear that u/NonamesNolies has no understanding of plural history, which does get pointed out by u/DustyArcade to their credit.

Pretty sure the equivalent term before "endogenic systems" was "natural multiple."

Normally at this point, I would point out to u/NonamesNolies that the ICD-11 acknowledges that you can have multiple distinct personality states without a disorder.

I would point out that the creators of the Theory of Structural Dissociation have said spiritual practices and hypnosis may be able to result in the creation of self-conscious dissociative parts of the personality.

I would point to the chapter in Transgender Mental Health, published by the APA, which stated that you can be plural without a disorder or trauma.

But I won't do that because I know for a fact they aren't willing to listen, and just prefer to call any psychiatrists who disagree with them grifters. And yes, that's an actual thing they did, which I will get to at the end of this post!

Meanwhile...

Really just... going straight for those cult accusations, huh?

Funny from the science-denier.

Anyway, it's amazing how completely wrong they are on the term "multiple."

Yes, originally, the term was shared. And it still is to an extent. But then as the endogenic/non-disordered community broke off, they coined and popularized "plural" as an alternative to avoid medical connotations.

Plural was NEVER a DID/OSDD-specific term. It was always inclusive to all systems from the beginning.

But there you have your answer. It's not about the terms we use. It's about our existence. The language we use doesn't really matter to them.

There is... a whole lot in this interaction that it's hard to know where to begin. For one thing, most tulpamancy is viewed as psychological. And I imagine that even most spiritual tulpamancers would dispute their practice being considered "religious."

But to u/doubtful_messenger's assertion that endogenic systems need a parasitic relationship with DID, I'm just going counter that endogenic plurality through various names has existed for a long, long time.

The explanation of some forms of plurality as a mental disorder is fairly recent, only arising in the past couple hundred years. Before that, any instance of plurality was viewed as spiritual. Endogenic systems don't need a DID community to exist.

The tulpamancy and daemonism communities, forming completely independently of the larger plural community, proves that.

Finally... there's u/DustyArcade saying they thought they were turning into an endo, which I think I'll just let speak for itself.

...

The final comment in this thread I want to mention is from u/Kamari-mari, who I feel perfectly encapsulates the anti-endo point of view.

"Nothing you say matters because we already made up our mind and won't read anything that contradicts our preconceived notions."

And shoutout to u/bugzxvi for their addition of congratulating u/Kamari-mari for bragging about not being able to read three short paragraphs. It really pulls the whole thing together.

...

Okay, now I referenced u/NonamesNolies calling psychiatrists grifters, so let's dive into that next!

r/Systemscringeing on Transgender Mental Health

Quick note: That's not a typo. r/systemscringing is a new hatesub like r/systemscringe, but exclusively for systems to make fun of other systems.

The relationship between transgender mental health and plurality, including DID, seems pretty obvious to me. How many systems have headmates with various genders? How many of those experience dysphoria while fronting? How does the gender of nonfronting headmates affect the fronters? How do these factors affect transitioning?

This stuff is super important for doctors to understand when treating plural patients.

And it's wild how u/NonameNolies just immediately jumps to hating a psychiatrist for acknowledging the existence of endogenic systems.

This gets even worse in the comments.

What is the logic supposed to be in this argument? "If you're not a trauma specialist, you aren't qualified to say that plurality can be caused without trauma?"

How does that track?

I mean, surely, not being a trauma specialist means there's a better chance you'll run into plurals who aren't traumatized than someone who exclusively works with trauma victims, right?

"You can't say things other than X can cause Y unless you're an expert in X" doesn't actually make any sense.

Imagine if you decided that to say "diseases other than cancer can kill you," you needed to be a cancer specialist.

That would be pretty silly, wouldn't it?

Can we just take a step back for a moment and imagine something for a moment...

You are Eric Yarbrough. You worked hard for 8 years to earn a doctorate in psychiatry.

You've served the LGBTQ community tirelessly in the psychiatry field since, serving as president of The Association of LGBTQ psychiatrists, among many other roles.

You've become a Distinguished Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association, one of the highest honors given by the APA.

And some rando on Reddit just called you a grifter and said you should be ashamed of yourself because they're upset you don't support their bigotry in a book that itself was reviewed and published by the American Psychiatric Association.

...

Anyone else just feel like anti-endos treat psychiatrists the way Trump treats judges?

[spiritstein]

spirit albarn has histrionic personality disorder, change my mind

i often see people ask what the hell is wrong with spirit, which is a great question. that guy's got issues. here's my take on explaining some of them!

notes: i have HPD myself so some of the evidence/examples i'll give will have personal anecdotes (although i've avoided projecting to the best of my ability for this post.) this is based mostly off the anime, as i have not finished the manga.

full post under the cut as it's ended up both very long and image heavy

one of the major traits of HPD is dramatic and exaggerated behavior/expression of emotion, which spirit displays nearly every time he's on screen. (typically in regards to either maka or his past and potential future romantic pursuits, we'll get to that later.)

this is typically played for comedy, but i don't think that discounts it as evidence at all-- kid's OCD is often used for jokes but that doesn't mean he doesn't have it.

these outbursts often involve very sudden shifts in his demeanor, and almost feel like an internal switch is being flipped on or off. this can make how he acts seem shallow at times, which is also characteristic of HPD. (emphasis on seem-- i do believe he's expressing his true emotions to the extent he feels them. the exaggerated self-expression of individuals with HPD is often tied to feeling those emotions far more intensely than the average person, at least for me.)

note how quickly he returns to a "resting" or "default" expression in the second gif here. he's kind of got a resting bitch face, honestly.

another defining trait of HPD is excessive flirtatious and sexual behavior, regardless of the person's attraction to whoever they're making advances on. i'll be using manga screenshots here since dialogue is important, but this is the symptom spirit shows most obviously by a long shot.

(not pictured: many, many more examples of this...)

he tends to flirt or otherwise get involved with women regardless of if the situation calls for it, and often to the detriment of his relationship with others.

the most blatant example of this detriment is his divorce with maka's mother and maka's subsequent dislike of him. no images provided since i presume you're familiar with that if you've gotten this far.

notably, he appears to feel guilty about this trait, yet does not or cannot curb it. one could easily read this as spirit needing the attention and approval from these women. excessive desire for these things (along with a more general need to feel liked or loved) is a major driving force behind other HPD-influenced behaviors and is a symptom in and of itself. while there is no concrete evidence behind this explanation for his provocative behavior, there is one person we know he desperately seeks approval from-- maka.

while nearly any parent would want for their child to love them, spirit wants for maka to merely pay any attention to him to a degree far beyond average.

in all of these examples, he's upset by her not even acknowledging him (or the thought of it) as opposed to hating him. the thought of her loving or admiring him appears to be a far-off fantasy to spirit, to the point of barely being able to handle it when she interacts with him positively:

...to the point of vomiting after this, which i won't show because that's gross.

maka is by far the person spirit's most shown to value the attention and approval of, but he still likely seeks it from others in more subtle ways. inversely, he reacts very strongly to both perceived and actual rejection, which is another HPD symptom. he assumes the worst when lord death calls for a meeting of all the death scythes, and is shocked when he finds out he assumed wrong.

people with HPD also tend to be gullible and easily influenced, which is most obvious in spirit's interactions with stein. he allegedly didn't catch on to the fact that stein was experimenting on him until his ex-wife pointed it out, as well many examples of stein just sort of fucking with him over the course of the series.

this could also just be that spirit's a dumbass, so take this part with a grain of salt.

that's everything that i can directly tie to HPD symptoms, but i'd also like to note that alcoholism is common in histrionics and they're at higher risk of divorce. as well as these manga screenshots of spirit being Just Like Me Fr as someone with HPD that i couldn't find anywhere else to put.

i hope this wasn't too clunky of a read and possibly gave the 5 spirit fans something to consider in their characterization of him! thank you for your time ^_^

[bengiyo]

I am curious for your perspective on the way the OF creators are interacting with fans and have even admitted to editing the show based on fan reactions. It strikes me as an unusual level of interaction and capitulation, though of course TV is a live medium that is nearly always responsive to reactions to some extent. My preference is for a lot less of this kind of thing, but I know you have experience with direct interaction with media creators and have found it enhances your experience sometimes. What do you make of how these dynamics are showing up in OF and the effect it’s having on the show?

TV and Critic Background

So, I am actually the worst person to talk to if you think the creators should be quiet about their work, because I really enjoy talking to directors, producers, actors, cinematographers, and especially editors about their work. I often go to film festivals just to talk to the creators about their processes.

I've also been in the TV space a really long time, and I am used to this kind of behavior. I don't think a lot of folks who are in BL are used to being in the process of TV itself, and I think a lot of people have let the Netflix binge model inform the way they view TV. TV is not like movies. When you get a movie, you are seeing the end product of filming, editing, test screenings, re-edits, etc. TV is usually only an episode or two ahead of the viewers.

It's extremely normal for a show to respond to feedback when characters test well. The 100 did this with Jasper. He was supposed to die in the pilot when that spear entered his chest, but he tested well with audiences so they revived him.

Fun Fact: This is why Kiseki: Dear to Me didn't just move their release schedule up when episode 8 was leaked early. They probably weren't finished assembling episode 9.

I followed Sense8 through its entire development process all the way from rumors and then J. Michael Stracynski's posts about it, to the things Lana and Lily said about it, to the commentary from the cast.

I have a special hatred for Rick Behrman over Star Trek.

I absolutely hate Russel T. Davies because of Cucumber.

I bailed on Supernatural because of the way the writers condescended to us at comicon after killing Kevin.

I know some fans are upset about the idea that scenes they wanted to see got cut, but I was there for Noah Galvin opening his fucking mouth to talk shit about other actors at ABC who were playing beloved gay characters and that subsequently getting The Real O'Neals canceled. The show had a very short second season and I feel forever salty about that.

What does this mean for Jojo and Ninew and Den?

I actually think Jojo, Den, and Ninew are fine. I don't think they usually poopoo on valid reads from what I've seen, and mostly they're having fun with the fans, too. I just don't think people are used to the creators being so honest about how feedback affects the editing process.

I think this is the first time we've had a big show in a while where the creator was fairly active on socials about the show. Aof and Au are usually pretty quiet when their shows are airing, and only give small tidbits while they show is airing. Jojo is silly and likes to play with fans. Den is feisty and has a gay agenda to pursue.

Truly, I don't think Jojo and friends are that bad about anything with this show, because they're mostly just laughing and stating things that are obvious to people who pay attention to how the sausage is made.

Shipping

That being said, the biggest struggle OF is having is shipping. The FK girlies are so loud and their heavy breathing has likely influenced the way Jojo and friends decided to write Ray. The FB girlies are so into them that it's made Jojo and them dial back some of their Top content because the audience hates him so much. Only Boston and Nick feel like they've made it through the shipping gamut intact because Neo and Mark aren't bringing a bunch of preexisting shippers to the table.

Coming off of episode 10, you can see this plainly with the nasty4nasty dynamic with Boston and Nick. The emotional core of their dynamic feels true, even down to the way their moments in the store mirror their first interactions again. Boston came in for service about his phone and intentionally showed Nick something on it.

I don't think Jojo has ever had to work with multiple acting pairs that were big branded pairs prior to this, and this is only his second time really dealing with that. With Never Let Me Go, Pond and Phuwin weren't that big yet, and he wasn't threatening their ship with anything complicated. OF is challenging for people who just watch BL as fap material and have to deal with their faves not being easy people to parse.

As usual, we go back to that post that goes around all the time, thought I think the OP deleted it:

"Never ever be normal about fictional characters but please GOD be normal about the people who play them, I am begging you" -tumblr user mantorokk-writes

[andreal831]

I found it so absolutely crazy that the Mikaelsons (especially Klaus and Elijah) were constantly throwing Marcel’s background back in his face and just the fact that they lived in/on the same plantation that he was a slave on was absolutely wild. Marcel was so blatantly “othered” by the Mikaelsons, even though they said he was family, they always reminded him that he wasn’t ever one of them/a mikaelson and Klaus would always remind him that he was a slave before. Someone made the analogy that it’s like when a racist white family adopts a black child and make it clear that he’s not one of them and that’s quite LITERALLY what happened.

I would go as far as to say that Marbekah is not just weird because Rebekah knew him as a child, but also because of that strange power dynamic of her being a rich white woman and him being a black slave boy and that subtext there and it just doesn’t feel right (and this is a feeling I don’t get from normal interracial relationships, just THOSE TWO). And if you like Marbekah, that’s great! I just don’t lol.

And the fandom always says that “it’s just Klaus’ personality that he does and says these things to Marcel, etc” like… ugh.

And there’s other poc in TO that deal with the racism like Vincent and Inadu, etc

I love the Mikaelsons but they were so problematic to the point that I have to retcon certain things or at least insert headcanons to make me not hate them. Because you are absolutely right. It was literally a racist family playing white savior. People try to give Klaus props for killing an enslaver and freeing Marcel, but we see him kill one enslaver and free one person who was enslaved. He didn't do it because he was morally opposed to slavery. He did it for his own selfish reasons. Otherwise we would have seen more of this. People using the excuse that "oh it's just x's character to make racists comments" is very telling. It means the character is racist. They are literally saying it is part of that character. The Mikaelsons thinking it was fine to live on an actual plantation both when it was functioning and after is proof of this.

I personally do like Marbekah but they are not necessarily in my top favorite ships. I love both of the characters but I also hate how they began (same with Freelin, but I'll go into that in a moment). But again, you're absolutely right. There is not only the inappropriate dynamic that she helped raise him, to some extent, but yes, that he grew up being treated as a second class citizen, not only when he was enslaved but also when he was taken in by the Mikaelsons. There is also the bad dynamic of how possessive Klaus is over Rebekah and her romantic life. People love to say Klaus daggered Rebekah when he found out about Rebekah and Marcel because he was protecting Marcel, but let's be honest, he wouldn't have cared if it was anyone else but Rebekah. Klaus didn't have any issues going after teenagers, why would he care that Marcel was being groomed by an older woman? Klaus always treated Marcel as more of a friend than a son and we all know Klaus is not a good friend. I, once again, have to insert my own headcanon that Rebekah was not heavily invovled in Marcel's upbringing. I pretend Klaus was just as possessive of Marcel with Rebekah as he was with Elijah. We only see the one scene of Rebekah training him so I just pretend that was a one time thing and they hardly interacted outside of that. This not at all what the writers intended. They loved creepy, grooming relationships so it is completely understandable to not like them.

Marcel was treated as more of a possession than anything. I'm biased so I like to believe Elijah saw Marcel as a child at first and wanted to mentor him before Klaus got in the way. You mention Elijah throwing Marcel's history in his face, do you have an example? I am genuinely asking. I've seen people make this comment before and make comments of Elijah calling him "boy" but I for the life of me can't remember when he does, because yes, that is obviously racist. I am trying to think past my Elijah blinders, but welcome any help. Elijah is definitely condescending to him and it would be foolish of me to assume part of it isn't racism. Again, I insert my own headcanon that it is more to do with his elitism and how he speaks to everyone (i.e. the scene where he calls Klaus and Hayley "chiiillldddreeen" for bickering). But I also acknowledge that my headcanons are my own and we still need to call out the characters for their problematic behavior. The fact that Elijah doesn't lift a finger to help a single person who is being enslaved or to even condemn the slavery when he very much had the power and privilege to do something about it shows his racism, if not overt racism than at the very least covert.

I personally headcanon that Celeste set Elijah straight while they were together and got him more invovled in the abolitionist movements, because I refuse to believe Celeste was fine being with a man who was fine with slavery. I also love Elijah and refuse to love a racist so I have to insert my own head canons to fix the racist writing. I would also be remiss to point out how problematic it is that Elijah is constantly given partners who are women of color but the show only emphasizes his white counterparts. There is more love for Eelijah, a crack ship, in the fandom than Celijah, one of the two people Elijah loved by his own admission. I love haylijah, but how the women of color he dated were treated by his family, the writers, and his family, even by him, speaks volumes to their racism.

But back to Marcel. It would have made sense for Rebekah to be a mother figure to him since she is always talking about wanting kids, but the show makes it clear that there is a distinction between biological children and adopted. Here the Mikaelsons have a chance to be parents and they all squander it. It's hard to not talk about Marcel's race in that discussion. Rebekah loves her time taking care of Hope, who, while her blood, is still not her biological daughter. Why wouldn't she jump at the chance to raise a frightened boy who lost his mother at such a young age? Why wasn't he given a mother figure? Hope has like five. Marcel isn't even given a father figure. Again, Hope has like five. Because Marcel was never viewed as a child. This is a common trope where black characters, especially boys, are not seen as kids. Rather they are forced to be more mature and treated as adults, while their white counter parts are allowed immaturity. Marcel was never allowed to be a kid because the Mikaelsons didn't want a kid. They all had their own selfish desires for Marcel and they were all terrible.

I do think the Mikaelsons are also just a toxic, dysfunctional family. Literally none of them treat the others well. I love certain relationships over others, but it would be lying to say they weren't all toxic to each other. So it's no wonder all of their relationships with Marcel were toxic. Klaus undaggers Kol and instead of being angry at Klaus for keeping him in a box, he turns his anger and frustration on a literal child. You would think this resentment would fade when Kol starts dating his nephew's daughter (sorry, couldn't help myself), but it doesn't. Marcel and Kol still harbor so much animosity for each other and Kol's is merely based on Marcel being more included in the family, which is sad considering how little Marcel is included in the family. But even that extent was too much for Kol.

The writers had a fresh slate with The Originals. There was no book to attempt to follow or even to dictate character relationships. They could have done anything with Marcel, but they chose to make a black slave from the 1800s that Klaus "saved" in order to play into the idea that Klaus was a good guy underneath it all. So instead of focusing on Marcel's trauma, the story is told through the Mikaelson's perspective, the white perspective. It reminds me of so many movies, The Blind Side comes to mind. Media loves to focus on the white saviors and praise them without mentioning the trauma they actually caused while playing savior. In these stories, the white families aren't adopting a "child" they are "investing" in what that child can do for them.

I mentioned Freelin earlier and I don't think it is a coincidence that the only two instances where a white Mikaelson's endgame invovled a person of color there is a massive power imbalance. I want to love Freelin so much because I like both the characters but I struggle to get past how they met and how quickly it changed. Freya never even felt guilty or apologized for literally kidnapping and torturing her. The show loves to match up characters, especially women and especially woman of color, with their abusers with no repercussions to the abuse.

I could write forever about the blatant racism in this show.

Thanks for the ask! I hope I answered everything. As always, please let me know what you think or if you disagree with anything I said.

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

I know you are tired of being reminded of the whole mess that’s been going on. I had no idea what was going on until foxyanon told me cause I asked. The shock that went through me when I was reading ems post. I was decent friends with bel and interacted a lot with her. Had no idea how vile those bloggers are, just damn right disgusting and rude. But I told em as well that I have nothing to do with what’s her face. I’m always here for you! This fandom needs some serious work done and rethinking. I’m screaming the biggest f you to her! I love your content even though I don’t say anything much. You’re wonderful and deserve better! 💗💗

Thank you for reaching out, and treating me like a human being. It is more than I currently deserve. I will place the rest of my response beneath a cut, as it will be quite long and I'd like to give people the option to scroll past, as they are doubtless tired of all of this, and rightly so.

Yes, the behaviour of that group is despicable, but I cannot downplay the gravity of my own in that.

I had a longstanding block with two users (I am not going to use their online nicknames, I do not deserve to), arcielee and sylasthegrim, I said disgusting things about both of them - the screenshots of my messages regarding them both on the post you have doubtless all seen are real (so is the final screenshot where I mention an anon I had received telling me to die in my sleep, the rest of the screenshots in that post have been falsified, doctored or snipped heavily out of context to make them appear hateful - the doctoring has been confirmed by two individuals well versed in Photoshop)

I hold my hands up and apologise to both those people, and the people that have seen those messages and been harmed by them. They are inexcusable, indefensible and were guided by a false belief that those two people were being hateful in turn about me, and actively going out of their way to harm and spite me. I am unsure what Bel thought she had to gain by exacerbating the animosity between me and Em and those two women, regardless, we should have done the mature thing and reached out directly to them. I will say, that I have never once sent anonymous hatred to either person. The extent of my vitriol was confined to that group chat.

Bel also used slurs in the group chat (I would like to point out that myself, Em and Fae did not). I won't repeat what these were. I do not want those ugly words on my page. They made me uncomfortable and I called her out any time she used one in particular, but she always laughed off my discomfort and carried on anyway. She is mixed race, I am white, in my mind it is not my place as a white person to tell an ethnic minority what is racism and what isn't. There are enough white voices shouting down others in online spaces. I know better now. I should not let my own discomfort silence me. I will call out hatred, bigotry and discrimination in every instance that I see it. My past inaction is embarrassing, it's offensive and I am devastated by the hurt I have caused to others. I am so deeply sorry.

I didn't speak up for a long time, because I have seen what these people are like when they have a grudge against someone. It's frightening, I was a coward. Yet despite staying silent on all of it, I have been doxxed just the same. I suppose perhaps that's karmic retribution?

I appreciate that people have felt my response has been lacking, however, I was out of the country, away from home, from the 14th until the 22nd, with only my phone at my disposal and with the expectation from my husband that I would enjoy the vacation we were on, and not be online dealing with all of this.

I would like the opportunity to atone for my behaviour, to make amends. Currently, I feel I am not going to be given the opportunity to do that, and understandably so. Emotions are high, people are raw from what they have learned and they do not feel comfortable being around me.

Seeing the screenshots of the people in their group passing around my personal photos and saying incredibly vile things about my appearance triggered a lapse with the eating disorder that I am in active recovery for. I then had another a few days later. I need to take some time away to get myself well, as the fear and anxiety of all of this is taking its toll. I also need the space to deal with the legal action I will be exploring with regards to Chris having doxxed me. I am not running away. I simply need to get myself into a space where I am stable enough to handle all of this, be accountable, and take responsibility without my own emotions diminishing other people's.

I know people hate me right now, but it pales in comparison to how much I hate myself. I am so very sorry for allowing this to happen.

[thedragonsfate]

FHJY thoughts under the cut bc I gotta sort my brain and can't be succinct to save my life

I think there's something interesting in acknowledge like

of COURSE Kipperlily underestimated the bad kids.

She's hated these kids from day 1. I know a lot of people want to acknowledge that it's not unreasonable for Kipperlily and the rat grinders to think the school is run unfairly (and you're right! it's a fair conclusion)

-- but we also gotta consider that this is something that took root in her VERY EARLY. Before the bad kids got really very good. Two bad kids die on the first day of school, they spend a significant amount of their second semester freshman year just. In Prison.

Of course what follows I'm sure spurs that hatred, but she all but declared Riz to be her nemesis with Jawbone freshman year.

She's probably got some good ideas of how stuff should change, but also she saw this random Goblin boy with a briefcase in rogue class and decided she Hates Him, for a reason none of us can fathom when several of the other bad kids give off worst first impressiona

She's a teenager, a kid, with anger issues. As much as their can be important nuggets at the core of her motives, she's a teenager without emotional regulation skills. That combination is BUILT to breed resentment and feelings of entitlement. and it's built to actively ignore any evidence of a different perspective.

We talk about how she doesn't understand them, takes Kristen as entirely uncaring, doesn't expect the bad kids to do so well in the Last Stand

and OF COURSE she doesn't. some of this because she of course is not privy to all of the bad kids interactions that we are as an audience. but a lot of it is probably because she's a teenager who's decided she's being slighted and as a result is never going to take the bad kids actions on good faith. she's doubled down and while I have a feeling she's extremely perceptive, she's also in an emotional place that means she probably is ACTIVELY ignoring any evidence to the fact that maybe the bad kids are just ALSO working very hard, and that the school itself may also work against them sometimes.

Add to that a god corrupted into rage (negative in this case) and conquest, and a nefarious faculty member as a potentially directly manipulative adult in her life trying to make something big and destructive happen. Kipperlily strikes me as the kind of person who knows she's smart, and knows she's clever, but is so blinded by her emotion that she is probably missing some of whats clearly in front of her as far as all the Jace business goes. She certainly is about the bad kids.

Jawbone can only do so much to help her in her sessions if he's being actively worked against. Emotional regulation is hard to learn from zero AS AN ADULT and she's probably coming from the negatives if my impression is correct, and is doing so as a teenager.

I guess what I'm trying to say is like

In a vacuum? Sure augeforts comment about trying being stupid or whatever does seem like another slap in the face for Kipperlily, one that justifies some of her feelings.

But not about the bad kids. and not to the extent she has taken them.

And to take that at its word feels weird to me because. To anybody paying attention? The bad kids are and have been trying SO SO hard in class. Them having to take the last stand in the FIRST place is specifically because the school system is treating Kristen unfairly DESPITE her best, GOOD efforts. I'm certain the rat grinders are on some level aware of Gorgugs EXTREMELY uphill battle with schoolwork this season, even if it's just Maryann catching part of a convo with Porter or Ruben hearing about it from his uncle. I HIGHLY doubt that Oisin was oblivious to the way that Adaines academics were affected by her not having the money for the correct materials - she still was able to excel mostly but the effects of that roll being at disadvantage for so long are still THERE. Jawbone pinned down and mentioned to Riz his similarities to Kipperlily within maybe 2 seconds - there is 0% chance he hasn't brought something similar up in Kipperlilys sessions. She may not like it, she may not have the emotional intelligence to see it this way, but his efforts almost certainly mirror hers in a way that makes them equally hard workers, absolutely determined to keep themselves afloat despite it being an uphill battle. Something that she feels she deserves to be rewarded for, and to an extent implies that if just a few circumstances were different she would be able to see equal value in his work.

And sure you can say she may be able to see that and be angry that their work is rewarded and hers isn't, but we see time and time again that she and her party don't always put that same level of work in? Mary Ann at blood rush, absolutely uncaring but doing well specifically because she's got some magical enhancements. The suspicious circumstances of Kipperlily finding the Rogue teacher. Even just the natural advantage of Oisin having more than the funds he needs to excel in wizard class.

But even regardless of that, she seems to refuse to see that any scenario in which others are praised for the same thing she's done, while she is ignored etc, is the sole responsibility of the school here. the bad kids are not her enemies in that fight - augefort is. The bad kids are not going around being consistently given advantages from the school, they're earning the things they get and hitting their own academic road blocks, and they aren't acting better than other people in a way that goes beyond like. Teen stuff. And yet her sights are trained so unblinking on them.

I can see Fabian and Kristen's popularity and personalities coming off like it supports that they're being treated better or feel some superiority. And it's teen stuff to quietly hate those ppl at your school! it's p normal!

But it always brings me back to her SPECIFICALLY hating Riz. Bc Riz isn't a rich kid throwing parties that everyone loves. Hes not sniping out comebacks the way Kristen does, sometimes without even thinking. In a lot of ways he's the/one of the least abrasive of the group to an outsider. Which makes me SO much more inclined to call bullshit that this is truly, honestly rooted in an acknowledgement of any of the REAL problems that come up with their school system.

It's complex, but I feel like we can't exalt their perspective as a Truth of the world like it seems some folks do when these characters themselves do not play fairly. What is fair about the way they interfered with the exam. What is fair about what she did so easily to Buddy Dawn. What is fair about the murder of the couple that owned that farm. Depending on what happened - what is fair from them about Lucy's murder. Certainly what is fair about their hand in Yolandas.

This idea that things are unfair isn't untrue. But not in the ways she thinks, and shes moved so far beyond that notion at this point. Kipperlily probably DOES believe that she's uniquely a victim of this system, or at least that everyone but the bad kids is. But she's moved so far beyond that. Whatever divine rage magic is involved has ensured that, as well as probably some Adult manipulation, and severely underdeveloped emotional regulation skills. and for me that means like. obviously she is unjustified in her actions.

Augefort is absolutely unhinged. his school has never been run in a manner that rewards buckling down in the classroom and the classroom only. It's an adventuring school in truly the most chaotic and violence rewarding sense, and that information is given freely by Arthur augefort at maybe any turn

Saw something about the theoretical being just as important as the practical. and yes! absolutely! a very good point that I'm glad was brought up - going to the classes is important and I think this season has really emphasized the ways in which that's true at least in terms of Staying in School and Honing your Skills

I do think, in the same breath, that that STILL means that the practical is ALSO just as important as the theoretical. It CAN'T be one or the other, it HAS to be both.

and the bad kids are DOING both. regardless of what it may count for, the rat grinders xp leveling by continuing to do freshman level combat in order to excel more on paper ISN'T them really doing the practical part of what theyre learning in their higher level classes. And the bad kids do not get credit for their saving of the world REGARDLESS. Not on its own merit, and to get the credit they'd have to jump a hefty academic bar that sort of invalidates the point of practical efforts in the first place, not to mention works against students like Fig and Kristen.

The school is actively rewarding Kipperlily and her party's cheat code practical use of their skills, over the bad kids putting just as much if not more effort into their LITERALLY WORLD SAVING missions. whatever favoritism shes seeing, or that there may be occasionally, Kipperlily fundamentally takes the bad kids in bad faith. It's not ABOUT what is ACTUALLY unfair to her at this point.

from her perspective every accolade or accomplishment from them HAS to come from favoritism in order to fit how her view of whats actually unfair has been warped. for her it doesn't MATTER that they've been trying because they MUST not be trying as hard as she is. it doesn't matter that they visibly saved the world three times, one of which was livestreamed and included several party members dropping, successfully because surely it's a fluke, or they were given better opportunities than others for no reason, or they're being falsely worshipped for what MUST be a less dangerous quest than it seems (despite us seeing clearly on the first day of school that nobody is putting a pedestal up for their night yorb win)

What could have been a justified spark of frustration with a system has shifted into a vengeful sense of entitlement that to me? fully abandons the good of wanting to change a school system actively working against some (/all?) students.

idk maybe this all sounds like jibberish I just

Kipperlily in her current state is INCAPABLE of not underestimating the bad kids bc that would require some acknowledgement that they have worked and bled and died to reach the level they're at.

You cannot separate the girl who sneaks in to the Last Stand to sabotage another party's chances of passing, of staying at school, of continuing school, of one of them from potentially keeping their god alive, and of being brought back from what she assumes is certain death - from the slighted teenager running for class president to make things "more fair"

you cannot separate the girl who easily slits her own party clerics throat without second thought from the girl who thinks she's been slighted by an unjust system

What she means by unfair is inherently colored by her being that same person

Augefort can say whatever nonsense he wants, and it doesn't really justify her current frustrations at this point because her version of fair is fundamentally unfair now.

Shes a child who's become corrupted, just like Buddy. but unlike him - she's become genuinely nefarious and vengeful. Unlike buddy she is actively plotting. Harming others with full knowledge of it. We don't know how much of it comes from her on her own, or the rage baking underground, or Stardiamonds direct involvement - but I think this most recent episode should make it clear that like

Whatever truth there is to the school being run in a way that is unfair to its students, and regardless of what she says or thinks

Kipperlily Copperkettle is not operating from that grounded perspective. and I don't think she has been for a long time