#when it comes to thor being king and all of that... a lot of this stuff was the natural result of those bigger omissions

[frankendykes-monster]

My tinfoil hat opinion on this subject is that Stan Lee appraisal should be considered being adjacent to being a capitalist sympathizer because you are subscribing to a decades long PR campaign by Marvel's parent companies that's designed to suppress the labor that the company is built on. Even if you tow the party line like noted Stan Lee fanatics like Bill Mantlo or Peter David, Marvel will not save you. You can be a superstar with mainstream attention outside of comics like Rob Liefeld, and Marvel will still turn on you. And the people out there who don't even work for the company are basically doing freelance work for a faceless entity, or should I say an entity for whom the face was and is the only fictional character that Stanley Lieber ever created completely alone, his public persona of "Stan Lee."

GROTH: How did you feel during the ’60s when Stan became a personality in the books and sort of became the official spokesman and figurehead for Marvel Comics?

KIRBY: Well, Stan became a personality through his relationship with the owner.

ROZ KIRBY: Can I say something? It bothered me a lot when it said Stan Lee this and Stan Lee that. If they wanted to be fair, they could have said, “Produced by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby.” But he didn’t have to say, “Written by —.” He didn’t have to take the entire credit. He’d put down drawn by Jack "King" Kirby and all that stuff.

KIRBY: Yes, and he’d be very flippant.

ROZ KIRBY: Jack took it with a grain of salt, but I was the one who was very hurt by it all.

Fantastic Four #9 (1962). First appearance of the defined credits box in the title.

GROTH: I see. Did you ever talk to Stan about the application of credit?

KIRBY: You can’t talk to Stan about anything.

ROZ KIRBY: Every so often he’d put down, “Produced by —”

KIRBY: Yeah, sometimes he did. Stan was a very rigid type. At least, he is to me. That’s how I sized him up. He’s a very rigid type, and he gets what he wants when the advantage is his. He’s the kind of a guy who will play the advantages. When the advantage isn’t his at all, he’ll lose. He’ll lose with any creative guy. And I could never see Stan Lee as being creative. The only thing he ever knew was he’d say this word “Excelsior!”

GROTH: Well, what I wanted to ask you was, what did you think of Stan creating this public personality where everything was stamped with “Stan Lee Presents”? He manufactured himself as a kind of grand figure.

ROZ KIRBY: That’s what he wants.

KIRBY: I think Stan has a God complex. Right now, he’s the father of the Marvel Universe. He’s a guy with a God complex.

Fantastic Four #56 (1966). Debut of the revised credit box.

GROTH: Did you sort of see it coming in the ’60s when Stan was putting his name all over the place? Did you see this kind of— ?

KIRBY: Well, you don’t have to see a thing like that coming. It was happening, and I didn’t know what to do about it. Stan Lee was the editor, and Stan had a lot of influence at Marvel, and there was nothing you could do about it. Who are you going to talk to about it, see?

GROTH: Was Stan your basic contact with Marvel? He was the one that you — ?

KIRBY: Yes. I’d come in, and I’d give Stan the work, and I’d go home, and I wrote the story at home. I drew the story at home. I even lettered in the words in the balloons in pencil.

ROZ KIRBY: Well, you’d put them in the margins.

KIRBY: Sometimes I put them in the margins. Sometimes I put ’em in the balloons, but I wrote the entire story. I balanced the story...

Detail from original art for Amazing Adventures #1 (1961), showcasing Kirby writing the captions and dialogue. Kirby's handwriting is behind the lettering in the above box and to the right of the word balloon. Some notes by Lee are present to the left of the balloon.

Pencils, inks, and final published page for Fantastic Four #61 (1967), showcasing Kirby writing dialogue outside of the panels for Lee's eventual use.

GROTH: How long were your discussions with Stan Lee when you were discussing the next Thor or the next Avengers or the next Fantastic Four? How long would you talk to Stan about it?

KIRBY: Not much. I didn’t particularly care to talk to Stan, and I just gave him possibly some idea of what the next story would be like, and then I went home. I told him very little, and I went home, and I conceived and put down the entire story on paper.

GROTH: How do you feel when he talks about what a great guy you are, what a terrific co-worker you were, which he does frequently when asked about the good ol’ days?

KIRBY: Why wouldn’t he say that?

ROZ KIRBY: Yeah. Look what Jack did for Marvel.

KIRBY: Why wouldn’t he say that? If I hadn’t saved Marvel and if I hadn’t come up with those features, he would have nothing to work on. He wouldn’t be working right now. I don’t know what he’d be doing now. He wouldn’t be in any editorial position.

GROTH: Do you think he believes that, or is that a public relations facade?

KIRBY: What’s that?

GROTH: Oh, that he thinks you’re a great guy, and he loved working with you.

KIRBY: I say it’s a facade, and what he really means is he loved taking me. I just hope that you don’t find yourselves in a position where you have to deal with that kind of a personality.

ROZ KIRBY: I’d like to say something if I could. Jack created many characters before he even met Stan. He created almost all the characters when he was associated with Stan, and after he left Stan, he created many, many more characters. What has Stan created before he met Jack, and what has he created after Jack left?

KIRBY: And my wife was present when I created these damn characters. The only reason I would have any bad feelings against Stan is because my own wife had to suffer through that with me. It takes a guy like Stan, without feeling, to realize a thing like that. If he hurts a guy, he also hurts his family. His wife is going ask questions. His children are going to ask questions.

Wait what do you have against Stan Lee. genuinely curious, I don't think ever seen you post about it

Nepotism hire office worker who's stuck as Marvel's only editor as the company (and frankly the entire comic book industry) are experiencing an implosion that almost takes out everyone in the late-1950's. Jack Kirby has nowhere left to turn to so he starts working at Marvel and has to brainstorm an entire new line of books to ensure the company stays afloat. Lee begins crediting himself as the writer across the entire line of books so he can collect the writer's paycheck (the "artists" at Marvel at this time were also the writers, they were submitting complete stories on a freelance basis, Lee would eventually mandate a system where dialogue and captions couldn't be written ahead of time so he could fill them in himself). Marvel blows up in popularity and Lee positions himself at the center of it, much to the ire of Kirby, along with Steve Ditko, Wally Wood, Dick Ayers, the list can go on. When Marvel is sold to Perfect Film and Chemical in 1968 and becomes a publically traded company, Lee is part of the "package deal" wherein whatever current corporate owner of Marvel can use him as the "original creator" figurehead as a means to block royalties for dozens of people who had worked at the company throughout the 1960's, and functionally its a role he kept for the entire rest of his life, and now your average person (along with a specific subset of industry veterans that can range from Roy Thomas to Larry Hama to Bill Mantlo to Jenny Blake Isabella) thinks of him as the original-idea-guy who ~actually~ created the line of characters now regarded as the "Marvel Universe".

[hurtspideyparker]

Part 2 of Mundane Avengers Headcanons

Part 1

- Clint gets paper cuts way too often and is oddly defensive about it. "Oh no is that a paper cut—" "YES GODAMMIT." "..."

- Steve gets hangry. It is obvious to everyone but him. He will deny the accusation and eat the protein bar being handed to him anyways (he feels immediately better)

- Natasha likes to snack on chips, and will buy whatever random flavour she can find. Garlic bread? Okay. Thanksgiving dinner? Sure thing. Ghost pepper? Most definitely, especially when Clint steals a handful without paying attention

- Tony likes to have Floor Time™ where he will just lie on the floor if he gets tired or overwhelmed. It happens a lot in the kitchen because he gets decision fatigue. Bruce and Nat ignore him, Steve always asks if he's alright, and Clint just lies down with him

- Bruce pretends not to hear when Tony is struggling in the lab or when his friends are fighting because he will Keep His Peace at all costs ✌️

- Clint's favourite song is Wonderwall and when Tony finds out he clowns him for it for two months straight (until Thor visits and wants to hear the song and becomes obsessed, playing it constantly when he's with them much to Clint's amusement and Tony's torture)

- Bucky hogs the blanket every movie night. Doesn't matter how early they get there he will find a way to get to it first or steal it

- If Natasha spends a while doing her hair and there's a piece that won't cooperate she will simply cut it off (like a hair sticking out of a braid). What it looks like unstyled is none of her business 

- Peter crawls up stairs when he's alone—on all fours, running up them like a bear. (One time Clint is going down and sees Peter crawling full speed up at him and screams so loud Steve thinks a little girl is in danger and comes rushing to the rescue)

- Natasha and Tony watch Jeopardy together and get incredibly competitive

- Thor will hug everyone goodbye, including people he just met and complete strangers. "I'm sure it would have been nice to know you! :D". It takes a reallllly long time 

- Bruce is the king of Irish goodbyes (leaving without letting anyone know)

- Steve checks himself out in mirrored surfaces but NEVER if someone can see him do it. He is not afraid to gaslight if caught

- Clint bakes quite a bit, and everyone is thrown off by it. "I don't like to bake, I like to eat homemade cookies. There's a difference."

- Rhodey is actually a total menace but because he's a military guy and always compared to Tony he seems tame

- Sam sings in the shower every time. Doesn't matter if he's in a hotel, sharing, at home. It's every single time

- Peter says things like 'awesome' 'sick' 'epic' 'cool' constantly and about practically everything. butterfly on windowsill, extra chicken nugget in meal, giant aircraft on front lawn—all epic

- Bucky hates pop radio. For this reason you will never catch him in a mall or a club

[missmarveledsblog]

Odd one out ( logan howlett x reader)

summary : logan's adjusting to new life , new friends only thing he can't put his finger on is wade's friend Y/n , he knows she hiding something and he right but he is so wrong too

warnings : fluffy , goofy , no major deadpool and wolverine spoilers , violence , wade wilson , grumpy logan , grammatical errors (sorry in advance )

Adjusting  to a whole new world , universe where everything was the same but different .  Knowing someone and yet learning to know them all over again , like he was re familiarizing himself with ghosts from his past in one place and creating a new future in another. Adjusting to the one fucker who had him here in the first place was hard too , wade wilson was a strange one , hard to tell where the smart sarcastic ball of undiagnosed ADHD  started and ended . yet he had this wonderful and strange group of people around him , they all stuck out and fit in somehow , not that he would admit it out loud ever . (“ i knew it he loves me!” wade wink to the reader) .  but the dickward (“ harsh” the merc gasped.)  well he grew on him.  He wasn’t too bad not all the time those few seconds of silence truly when logan howlett  actually would consider him a friend then his mouth started it usually nonsensical rambles and well he changed his mind again . 

The friends he didn’t mind being around the lot they all had their own quirks , their own little nicknames or insults for wade and they all took logan in no matter what even when wade explain their whole adventure even the dark past that followed logan around even to this day . one friend he couldn’t get a read on , one for some reason stood out more than the others was Y/N  or as wade tended to call her princess sparkle maybe it had to do with the midnight black glitter case she had her laptop in . the other made sense in a way all either mutants or coming from some sort of background, but well Y/N was different . apparently, when she was a kid she used to drink her apple juice while sitting in the corner of the notorious sister margarets helping mercs of all kinds find their targets for a fee of course . Her bond with wade was helping him locate some chick or atleast logan was sure it was giving francis was the name but in that whole thing she was the one that helped wade find them all using that laptop ln the black sparkle case . Giving she was youngster of the group and just well ordinary no powers the others we’re protective but something about her well logan couldn’t put his finger on it and it was driving him nuts what was her secret .  

“ you know if you keep staring at her peanut well your going to give off a certain i got candy and white van sort of vibe” logan could feel wade once again too close giving the asshole breathe was in his ear . 

“ it’s not like that , she hiding something i mean she not so social , closed off a little and well she barely talks about herself” logan scoffed yet his eyes never once left her form . 

“ ok baby girl you probably know this phrase given you're so old you were there when they invented it but pot meet kettle”  the merc gestured between the two . “ he is butt nuts into her it’s so obvious right?” he looked to the reader . 

“ who are tal… nevermind i am not into her i don’t trust here plus she too young for me” he rationalized . 

“ she’s an old soul i mean not american civil war old but get what i’m throwing down” wade winked .

 “ hey i’m heading out i wanna grab books and coffee before the shop closes” she called rushing out before anyone could offer to walk with her. Logan didn’t even say anything just followed after.

“ he totally wants her right” wades looking at you reader. 

“ wade who you taking to?” 

“ the… nevermind hey did i ever tell you  about my future prince , king god of thunder buddy thor” he asked heading toward his friend . 

………

She hated it , lying to her friends not telling them she wasn’t as smart as they thought she was or how the sight of wades new roommate topless made her brain not function therefore caused her life to be now in danger. She been looking into her past , more so the men who had left her with no childhood nor a family resulting her sneaking into a seedy bar and helping hitmen and vigilantes find their targets .  she wanted to make sure they weren’t still doing it and when she began to see multiple account of money she could use to well give back to the world well she got herself caught. She wanted to tell wade but she didn’t want to bother him too much it wasn’t even a year after his whole TVA  incident and well saving the world so she decided she could handle it alone which that wasn’t the lie , she totally could it was just dealing with it in silence. Plus giving the said hot roommate hatred for her , she didn’t want to give that man any more ammo against her. It was a mystery to why he hated her so much , at first she thought maybe he knew a version of her in his universe that done him dirty but he was quite easily able to tell her she wasn’t anything thing to him , he didn’t know her there which was only good part of that place. Thankfully she grew up the way she did or else it would of hurt a lot more than it did , ok it still stung but she got used to it . she love their group like a family so instead of being interrogated or scared away by logan she avoided him kept her space from the man , ignore how he looked like he was going to rip her apart and not in the 50 shades of gray more like national geographic lions and a giselle sort of way . 

She was so lost in her thought she didn’t notice logan following her or the group of agent sprawled out ready to pounce. Scanning the shelves for the next read she felt the metal barrel pushing at her side . 

“Act natural or else” the voice smiled so she did she couldn’t cause a scene or react too many civilians and a lot of them were children.

She shrugged and let the man follow at her side as she stood at the counter pulling out the metal reusable cup . 

“ the regular you know three pumps of caramel” she winked . “ oh this is my cousin franny” she smiled as the man looked at her before smiling to the barista . 

“ oh free book today with each coffee so enjoy”  the barista smiled handing her the scalding cup but she bit her tongue and kept walking “ somebody call wade” she whispered back at the staff. 

Logan stood grinning , he  had his moment of being right seeing her all smiles with a clearly shady prick , he was about to confront her for his big gotcha moment only he stalled when he heard them as if they were saying it to him . 

“ in position we got her , subject will be brought back to containment “ that threw him off well that was til she walked out with the man throwing the coffee she had  in his face and a gun he didn’t notice before falling to the ground as she told the civilians to get somewhere safe. First time in his life or a decade he stood shocked at scene before him . agent clearly not the good guys with this octopus looking things on their tactical gear rushing towards her.  One man went to grab her only for him to fall to the ground convulsing and yet  logan couldn’t see the taser she clearly had to off used .  his jaw dropped as her skin began to glow almost a whitish blue all over her body and what looked like sparks floating around her. Not once did she looked scared or even phased  at the situation , she took them on one by one almost like a dance in her movement as she sent them to the ground . when they did get a hit on her like the mere touch sent them to the ground convulsing . he honestly stood conflicted he knew he was way off but also who the hell was this girl really . he wanted to help but she didn’t need it even when they ganged up on her she  held her own . when last man  fell she returned back to normal  skin back to color , the sparks disappeared like a mist and she leaned over slightly panting . 

“ call the authorities tell them to get shield here or fbi” she stood only for one to sneak out and hit her head hard sending her to the ground unconscious . thats when he snapped into action how dare that man touch her like that , what a cheap shot too  logan knocked man out ignoring the lady who yelled she called the cops and he brought her back to wades. 

The moment he walked into the apartment with her in his arms out cold the room went silent .  he growled at  shatterstar and colossus making them instantly move from the couch as he placed her gently on it.  Vanessa ran to check her over as logan explained what  happened . 

“ she was fucking glowing like a night light or some shit …. You don’t look surprised so you already knew , why did no one tell me ” he looked to see not one of them looked shocked to know she was a mutant. they all nodded giving him a sympathetic smile.

“ why do you think i call her princess sparkles , the coffee place rang” wade called heading to his room before returning . “ you saving her ass like a knight in tight yellow spandex , i knew you liked her kitten” he winked as he placed the adventure time comforter over her sleeping form .

[amethystarachnid]

THOR ODINSON AS A GIRL DAD - a drabble

My boy Thor needs more recognition so here I am, fantasizing about him being a girl dad.

Look me straight in the eyes and tell me that this man isn't a family man, like he'd get you pregnant the second you say 'yes' to his proposition to start trying for kids.

"Yes, I think it's the time for us to expand our family" You say and he's already taking off his clothes.

"We could name our child with two names, an Asgardian name and a Midgardian one."

You live on Asgard now because how could he let his child, prince/ss of Asgard, grow up on Midgard? And of course you agree because being pampered like a Queen on Asgard is definitely better than your 9-5 job.

As soon as your belly starts to swell and you don't get your period Thor (now King of Asgard) throws a feast on all Asgard. His Queen is pregnant, it's a day to celebrate!

You can't know the gender of the baby until birth and you both say that you don't care about the gender.

Thor is secretly hoping for a girl though.

Not so secretly because you saw a parchment with lots of girl names

Oh and when you actually give birth to a girl this man is in tears (of happiness of course)

He would come up with a complicated Asgardian name while you'd be like "...Charlotte."

"Do you like the name Gunhild, my dear? It means fight." And when he looks at you with those big eyes you can't say no.

Which is a problem because your daughter has the same eyes.

"Look at her, she's so small...My little princess." This man is smitten.

Her date of birth becomes a national (can you say national about Asgard?) day, every year it is a day of feast to celebrate Asgard's princess Gunhild Charlotte.

Thor now decided to let his hair grew, "because it makes me more manly" he says, but in truth he just hopes to let Gunhild play with it when she's a little older.

Thor sings lullabies in Asgardian to her as he cradles her in his big arms, and the sight makes your heart melt.

"You're a great dad, Thor."

"I'm trying my best."

Once Charlotte is old enough (like four/five) you three take monthly trips to Midgard, to let your daughter be in touch with the life you used to have.

If Charlotte ends up having some sort of powers Thor is the happiest man alive, because it means his daughter truly is a goddess.

Being the first born she would have to inherit Asgard's crown so Thor asks her to lift his hammer. At four years old.

She can actually lift it and this man is in tears.

"My sweet girl is worthy- I knew it of course, but seeing it is different!"

Trains her with sword fighting and general fighting because you never know.

Lets her put pretty bows in his hair and proudly shows it off in official meetings.

"Thor, what are those bows in your hair?" Someone would say.

"Aren't they beautiful? Princess Gunhild, my daughter, put them on me, do you think she could be the new Goddess of Beauty?"

Everytime he talks about her he has to say "my daughter" or he isn't happy.

This man is simply girl dad material at its finest.

Let me know what you think of this drabble, and if you want me to write a drabble like this with another MARVEL character feel free to request! <3

Bucky Barnes as a girl dad - a drabble

[monstersandgenderqueers]

Amaranth (Ch. 1)

Your wonderfully peaceful day was ruined by a red-headed assassin and a particularly aggravating, familiar stranger.

Chapter 1 of ?

Word Count: 2477

Pairing: Loki x gn!reader

Chapter warnings: Reader swears a lot, unnamed trauma

Prev: Prologue

Next: Ch. 2

You were kneeling in your vegetable patch when a shadow loomed over you, blocking out the afternoon sunlight. You sighed and wiped away the sweat on your brow, glowering as you turned to look at the intruder.

"Go away, Natasha."

Nat simply stared at you with her arms crossed, not a hint of emotion on her face. After a brief staring contest, you huffed and turned back around, resuming your task of tying your squash vines to a hefty new trellis. You gave up when it was clear that she wasn't going to leave. "What is it? What could you possibly need me for?"

"Thor could use some help up in New Asgard."

You turned again and let the vine you were propping up sag to the soil. "Uh huh. With…what, exactly? It's not like I'm his friend."

She took a deep breath, probably the only sign she would give that told you she was annoyed with you. "I'm not sure. King Brunnhilde requested assistance, and Thor gave your name."

"Okay… but… why?"

She was now visibly annoyed. "Just do it. Thor hasn't contacted us in a year, so it must be something important."

Guilt swirled in your insides for a moment. You knew you were being an ass, and this wasn't the first time Nat had to act as a messenger. People still needed help, and you were supposed to be a hero. Wel… you were. "No, thanks. Thor was the one most pissed off with me, aside from Steve."

"No one was 'pissed off' with you."

Your voice came out harsher and louder than you intended, "Yes, they were. Still are. Even Tony called me a coward."

She stepped closer. "No one thinks that—"

"Yes, they do!" You cried out, scaring a flock of birds nearby. "I'm sure everyone who knows what I did thinks so." You dug your hands into the dirt, spread your fingers wide to feel as much soil as you could, to feel the humming and pulsing of the roots and the worms and the water from the rain that fell the day before. "Thor wouldn't even look at me when I said I was sorry."

She cursed your name under her breath. "It's been over a year since the Blip. I'm sure he forgave you long ago." She placed her hand on your shoulder, ignoring the tension that built up beneath your skin. " After all that his people have been through, I don't think he has it in him to hold a grudge. Besides, I think it would be good for you to get out of this…" she trailed off, her eyes flickering over your haphazardly built garden and your fixer-upper of a house.

"I'm not leaving my home, Nat. If Thor, or King Brunnhilde, or anyone else in the world, wants my help, then they can come here," you spat, shrugging her hand off your shoulder. You knew you weren't being fair. Your phone was often left inside, untouched. It was near impossible to contact you on good days, and it was likely that at least half of the dozens of missed calls still in your notifications were from Nat. You hadn't checked in days.

A squirrel passed on by, distracting you for a split second before Nat tapped your ankle with her boot.

You could tell that she was restraining herself. She was always patient with you, but even so, she had her limits. "Fine, fine. I'll let them know." She stared a moment longer, giving you a minute to change your mind. When it was clear that you wouldn't, she sighed. "Well, it was nice to see you."

She whispered goodbye and said your name with the same tone your teachers had used when you acted out or drifted off. Disappointed, concerned. Nat walked away, sparing a single glance back as she strode down the gravel path between your berry bushes and spiral herb garden. You caught her eyes, and held her gaze until she turned back around and disappeared around the corner behind the wilder edge of your property. The gate behind the wall of leaves groaned and squeaked as it opened and shut, as the hinges were unused to the movement.

When you were sure that she was gone, you stood and dusted off your pants. Using your grimy hand to shield your eyes, you took a look around, making a mental checklist of things to do before the sun set in a few hours. 

Your eyes swept over the facade of your house, taking in the peeled paint and rotting trim. It was some sort of ghastly gothic revival thing, neglected for decades before Tony bought it and gave it to you as some sort of apology. You still weren't sure if he was sincere, since his last words to you before you separated from the Avengers were, "You always wanted a home. Now you have it."

At first, it seemed like a joke. The house was rotten and beaten down by decades alone in the forest with no caretaker. You had to gut it, exposing every inch in order to fix it properly. You might as well have built a new house entirely, after fixing the plumbing, the walls, the floors, the wiring, and setting up new appliances. The roof still sagged, though, weighed down by a thick layer of moss.

As grotesque as it still looked, you were proud of yourself. Maybe that was why he gave it to you. Or maybe he knew you liked dark and moody things, and your… Addams-esque taste wasn't a secret to anyone. Still, some part of you felt like he wanted you to work for it, to earn the comforts of a home before you could simply rest.

He was the only one who believed in you, in the beginning. Past tense, of course. He, along with everyone aside from Nat, had dropped you quickly after the Blip. They didn't want you around after what you had done.

In your youth, you were wild, uncontrollable like the wind that tore through the valley and uprooted the ancient trees. You watched with wide eyes and smiled as you made ivy choke the telephone poles, or made a tree fall into the house of the kid who bullied you. You'd been called a few things by "experts." An "elemental mage," a "mutant," a "witch." Everyone cared about it far more than you. You didn't want to be a powerful magic user just because you had something like magic.

You could feel life. You could feel and hear the infinitesimally thin threads that connected every living cell to another, every burst of energy that came from the raw materials. Your connection to nature made it more inclined to follow your whims, bending and twisting and growing at your cue. So, what?

You just wanted to live in peace and solitude, away from the overwhelming buzz that being near anyone brought. The feeling of humanity was cacophonous, like a whole big group of children decided to pick up an instrument and just make noise. It gave you a migraine.

Nature was so much softer and melodic, like the birds that sang in the mornings and evenings, or the crows that cawed, and the tree leaves that swished gently in the breeze. Water was especially soothing as the drops fell to the earth so sweetly, even during the most tremendous of storms. A harmony. Maybe that was why you preferred to build up your garden over continuing your renovation. You wanted to encourage that lovely orchestra of life, not invite more obnoxious guests.

The Avengers wanted you to use your gift to help others. You studied anatomy and medicine to try to use your power to heal, but that meant you had to get close to people. After a year of training, you got the hang of healing minor wounds. Then, Tony wanted you to try your gifts using electricity and metal. In theory, it could work. Metal sang in your mind like a Tibetan monk, whereas electricity sounded like an opera singer. Both felt ancient and primal, something you couldn't explain properly because it wasn't so much as a touch kind of feeling or an emotion, but a new sense altogether. It felt almost like instinct.

Anyway, being a magical engineer wasn't for you. It wasn't nearly as intuitive as working with the living. Tony was sure that if you studied physics or engineering the way you did anatomy and botany, you could have gotten the hang of it, but you didn't have the motivation. 

Tony could fix his own damned suits. 

Besides, you were sure that everyone was more curious about what you could do than actually needing you.

Not that anyone really needed you anymore, anyway.

Your thoughts wandered as they often did after the Blip, weaving between the past and the present with no regards to the tears that built up.

Oh fuck, the Amaranths.

You cursed at yourself relentlessly, berating your mind for getting lost again. You blamed Nat a little bit for coming over unannounced, which messed up your full schedule. The most important task you gave yourself for the day, aside from fixing your squash to the trellis, was to tie your amaranths to new stakes. They were bowing under their own weight as they matured, and last time you had attempted to grow amaranths, they rotted on the garden bed when you neglected to keep the foliage off the damp soil. This time, you were going to get a full, bountiful harvest of succulent, droopy amaranths of all different colors and species.

The inner life of your amaranths felt like the heavy, plush blankets you hoarded on your couch in the winter. They were comforting and sounded quiet, compared to the rest of your garden. In that sense, they felt like home. The childlike part of your brain that cried out, "I just want to go home," when the stress of your job broke down your defenses much too quickly was relieved when you sat there, next to the amaranths. 

You walked briskly to the garden shed to grab the stakes, counting them as you loaded them into your arms, but an earth-shattering boom made you drop them. Looking up, you saw a trail of smoke leading from the north edge of the horizon all the way to the south, far past your property into the vast forest beyond. You only had the chance to draw in a single breath before  shrapnel rained down. Pieces of metal of all sizes pierced the ground and sizzled.

Short of breath, and more panicked than you cared to admit, you ran inside and grabbed your phone from the countertop, slamming the basement door shut so vigorously that a new crack formed, joining the others in the old wood.

You took the stairs to the basement two at a time, landing with a thud at the bottom, more focused on calling Tony than anything else.

Did he do this? Was that one of his suits?

You shook that thought away. No, of course not. Why would he fly over like that? Why would one of his suits explode specifically near you?

A more horrific thought came to mind. Did someone figure out where I live? Do they want revenge?

Tony's voice sounded tinny from your phone's speaker. He asked a few questions, probably a, "What the hell is wrong with you?" But, you didn't hear it. With sweaty, shaky hands, you ended the call and looked up, wide-eyed at the door at the top of the basement stairs. You stared at the light coming in through the edges, waiting with bated breath for the light to be blocked by a figure.

After a few minutes of silence, and no disturbances in your home, you went back up to the main floor, the door creaking open as you peered out through the gap. Hearing nothing aside from the ambient energy of the house, you crept outside, checking for the sound of crunching leaves or snapping twigs.

Satisfied that the immediate threat was over, but still alert, you took stock of your property, looking for large parts of whatever the fuck exploded in the sky. Maybe there would be a piece large enough to conveniently have a logo on it, or perhaps parts of an engine. There were plenty of pieces to sift through, but the vast majority missed the house, it seemed. Nothing was identifiable.

Your vegetable garden, however, took a massive beating. With the daylight slowly turning pink, you realized you'd have to wait until morning to salvage what you could, and perhaps even encourage the plants to regrow their lost parts once the initial wave of shock has left their stems. You thought about using the phone that you held with a white-knuckled hand to call Nat. She was probably close enough to have seen or heard the explosion.

Fuck, what if Nat was the target?

A murder of crows cawed and flew away, rustling the flowerbeds at the far end of your garden. As it was a normal occurrence for birds to come and go as they pleased in your more abundant and tasty garden beds, it shouldn't have caused your hairs to raise or your senses to zero in on that section of the garden. But it did.

You felt dread, like someone was watching you. The last time you felt that sensation so strongly that it chewed on your insides was just before the Blip, when—

Wait. The birds are staring at me, you thought. You inched forward, keeping your breath slow and steady as you got closer and closer to the tree where the crows were perched, waiting.

After one slow step after another, you were at the very edge of your garden, where you had been prior to the explosion.

Fuck.

Your amaranths were completely flattened, trod upon like a horse or an elk had trampled through. Absolutely none of it was salvageable.

As you stared at the destroyed garden in exasperation and anger, you hardly registered the frantic fluttering of the crows' wings and shrill caws as they took off.

You were too busy fuming to notice the shadow that bled into your own on the ground just in front of you, before a hand firmly covered your mouth and a second held your left arm in a steel grip.

Your right hand flung up, but the muscles froze before you could do anything.

Warm breath on the back of your neck caused a second, painful round of goosebumps, and then a familiar, smooth voice said, "It's lovely to see you again, darling." They increased the pressure of their hand over your mouth for a brief second, a silent warning. "Now, you are going to do something for me…"

A/N: Amaranths, for those curious, symbolize immortality, and look like this:

[fluffyfantasticducky]

Mistakes and regrets

☆ Pairing: Loki x Reader

☆ Synopsis: Loki is a prisoner that sees his way out through pretending to date you, but when he finds true love he doesn't know how to deal with the guilt of making a very similar damage to the one that had been done to him when he was used for what originally were selfish reasons.

☆ Word Count: 10.5k, I think that's my longest fic yet, and written in the shortest time lapse, not sure what that says about my mental stability rn.

☆ Notes: As I proofread I noticed this could be interpreted as generational trauma, sort of... given I made Loki sort of mirror what Odin did to him. But I wasn't trying to be deep, I just felt like shit during the week and used this to cope. The fic might be cringy as a result, I am honestly not sure.

☆ Warnings: Depression and guilt are the focus points of this storyline. Loki starts is kinda toxic his behavior here isn't meant to be romanticized or intended to be extrapolated to real life, I just wanted to explore a narrative surrounding poor decisions and the dealing of its consequences. The reader is kinda a Mary Sue of sweetness but I just wanted to hammer in Loki feeling bad and guilty. I don't know if this is a trigger but I touch the vault scene of Loki and Odin and Odin being forgiven is also handled, Idk if that's trigger warning worthy but I know most of the fandom hates him.

“You’re not making it any for me brother.” Thor spoke through the glass.

“I want my freedom, brother.” Loki sighed, sitting down on the uncomfortable bench. “Don’t think of me as ungrateful, but as much as I appreciate not being executed, I can’t exactly call this a life.”

“Director Fury insisted, I’ve tried explaining to him that New York was a complicated situation. But he wants to be sure you are not a threat to Earth– uh, Midgard.”

“You've surely adapted well to living here” Loki rolled his eyes. “Pathetic.”

“Cooperate with me, I brother” Thor begged. “I want to help you, but I need you to help me first.”

“I’m not sure what I am expected to do from here” Loki huffed annoyed.

Thor sighed and gave his little brother a sympathetic look. Loki was frustrated, and he couldn’t blame him. He would be too if he got brainwashed, had all his anger, sense of betrayal and resentment exploited to torture an innocent planet, and still be the one to pay for said crimes… Sure he wouldn’t be all jokes and laughs.

“I’ve been negotiating a way to test your stability and get your freedom” Thor smiled hoping to cheer up his brother. And he made Loki look up. “It’d be a bit uncomfortable at first. But I know you can prove yourself. You’d have to wear cuffs or a while, but you’d be free to walk around with me and the others on trips to the city.”

“Hooray…” Loki rolled his eyes.

“Please brother, I’m trying, I just need you to be patient.” Thor spoke sadly as he made his way out. “I hate this as much as you do.”

“Do you?” Loki said. “As far as I know, you’re not the one in a crystal cell.”

“Alright, almost as much as you do.” Thor joked softly and Loki did chuckle weakly.

He agreed that Thor had been furious. But it all happened so fast.

Thor had managed to land a fatal blow on Thanos’ chest and soon Steve, Natasha, and Bruce had arrived to back him up and retrieve the Infinity gauntlet. They opened a portal to bring back Tony, Doctor Strange, and the Spider Ling… And surprisingly a weird group of space travelers.

When Thor realized they could travel to anywhere in the universe they opened a portal to rescue the Asgardian ship. There were a lot of severe wounds but surprisingly Thanos had failed, he underestimated the strength of Asgard, and most people could be saved.

“Thor!” Valkyrie screamed and rushed to hug the king.

“Valkyrie! You are alright! Thank goodness!” Thor smiled in relief and hugged his friend.

“Thor you have to come quick!” Valkyrie urged him. “It’s Loki!”

Thor’s heart sank, his heart couldn’t stand burying the only family member he had left. Thor had lost his parents… he had seen his whole planet die. But not his baby brother. Not Loki. Not again.

“Please… not now… Let’s treat the wounded ones first…” Thor spoke with a knot on his throat. “I want to focus on saving lives first.”

“Thor, you don’t get it! He’s alive!” Valkyrie scolded him. “But he’s in a critical state! We need to take him to a safe place to treat him.”

A tear streamed down the new king’s face, and he felt as if he had finally put down a enormous boulder he had been holding onto. He didn’t lose Loki.

“Take me to him!” Thor urged them.

Valkyrie took Thor to a damaged room in the ship that had been used as an improvised infirmary. In the corner laid a figure Thor knew too well being treated by healers.

“Brother!” Thor said. “Oh Gods… You’re alive…”

“You can’t get rid of me that easily thunder brain… ugh…!” Loki joked weakly as he groaned in pain. The healers begged him not to move as they tried stabilizing his condition. His neck had been nearly obliterated.

It was a miracle Loki hadn’t died and that the healers had managed to find him on time.

“We couldn’t abandon him” one of the healers spoke politely to her king. “After all, it was because of you and prince Loki that Lady Valkyrie managed to evacuate the survivors. We apologize for not finding you, my king.”

“It’s no problem at all” Thor laughed in an uncharacteristically quiet manner. He was breathless. “Thank you for saving my brother’s life.”

The lady healer let out a sheepish giggle and bowed. Loki rolled his eyes, earning a lecture from the healers that were still treating him. King or not, Thor still had that charm that seemed to make most people swoon.

The reunion was interrupted by a group of soldiers that broke in with a logo on their uniforms that made Thor’s blood boil when they pointed their weapons at Loki. SHEILD.

They picked up the stretcher where Loki was laying in and took him away to lock him up.

Apparently, the news travel fast, but SHIELD travels faster, and hearing Loki was alive was enough to mobilize and capture the injured God and lock him in a crystal prison cell in a SHIELD base. If Loki had a coin for every time that happened… he’d have two.

He couldn’t say Thor didn’t do anything about it. He could hear the thunders and enraged screams from his brother, demanding for an explanation and Loki’s immediate liberation.

“I demand my brother is released immediately!” Thor yelled.

“You should consider yourself grateful we’re allowing your witches to go and heal that world-level threat! He would be better off dead!”

“Don’t you dare speak of my brother like that! Me and all of my people would’ve died if it wasn’t for him!”

Loki wasn’t sure if he was amused or if he felt bad.

It did stroke his ego being called “Asgard’s hero” in the middle of the yelling. It shouldn’t have surprised him that Nick Fury was just as loud as Thor when angry. He couldn’t complain much. It made it much easier to hear what was going on, which was good, he was too weakened to use his magic to spy on them.

The healers tending to his neck sure seemed awkward overhearing the fight. It must have been uncomfortable to be doing your job in a high security cell. So, he tried entertaining the healers as he could. Although all he got was a lecture when his magic drained his energy, and they needed him awake to monitor him.

Soon he got better, he but wasn’t allowed to be out of his cell. It was a bit nostalgic, in some dark and twisted way. It even made him want to fix his old horned helmet, even if Thor would call him a cow for wearing it.

And when things couldn’t get worse… he met you.

“It’s lunch time” a voice said in a weirdly friendly tone before you head popped by the entrance as you balanced a tray of food on your head in an attempt to amuse Loki. He wondered if there were buffoons in Midgard, but you always tried to draw a laugh from him… Tried.

“Tough crowd, eh?”

Loki couldn’t not be baffled by the way you talked to him. Although he couldn’t decide if that was because you surely knew his reputation as Midgard’s terrorist or because you always talked in a friendly and goofy tone in a maximum-security prison in a super-secret spy agency. You also seemed to be awfully young to be here, but you couldn’t be much older than the girl Barton took as his protégée.

“What’s on the menu today?” Loki asked in a more formal tone.

“Why the hurry?” you asked, “don’t tell me you got somewhere else to be.”

“You think you are a lot funnier than you really are” Loki rolled his eyes. “And it’s not very nice to make fun of someone’s disgrace.”

“I hear you think I’m at least a little bit funny” you smiled as you kept balancing the tray of food on your head.

“Please don’t drop my food, I’d like to have at least something to eat” he rolled his eyes.

You tripped on your feet, and he saw the tray falling down, you caught it last second with your shins, and gave him a little sheepish grin.

“Alright, alright, I’m impressed” Loki groaned. “Can I eat now please? Or is having you torment me part of some attempt to break me?”

“Why are you so moody?” you asked. “More than usual, I mean.”

“I’m starving, and you humans eat way too little” Loki finally admitted. “But that is still better than nothing… Please.”

You stopped playing around and you looked at him as you got the tray into his cell.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were eating so little.” You admitted.

“I barely have energy to cast small illusions, which would serve to entertain myself.” Loki complained as he sat to eat and you sat by the table and looked at him, you didn’t seem afraid, curious at most. You watched him eat and took his dirty plates by the end.

You weirded him out.

You always did something along the same lines; you came to bring him food, teased him a little and then left when you were gone. Although this time you had asked more questions about him. And you seemed more pensive while he ate.

And later that day he got a surprise. Usually, he just saw you to deal with you while he ate. But today you returned with a brown paper bag on your hands and a backpack, you never carried personal objects with you.

“What now?” he groaned.

You said nothing but opened the door to pass him food and slid the bag inside. Loki opened his end and grabbed the bag, it was warm, and it had a strong smell inside, he reached and pulled out a weird soft cushion with a white cover.

“Bur…ger? What this?” he asked as he read the yellow letters.

“It’s food” you smiled. “Cafeteria is closed until dinner, so I thought bringing you something else might boost your mood.”

“This looks like junk” he snarled, making you laugh.

“It’s something like that.”

Loki looked inside the bag and looked at you.

“There’s no fork.”

“You eat it with your hands” you smiled and pretended to grab a burger and bite it. “Like a sandwich.”

“What’s a sandwich?” Loki asked, making you laugh again.

Loki tried to take a bit, imitating your gesture, but you stopped with a squeaky laugh.

“Unwrap it first!” you laughed. “The white thing paper is not edible.”

Usually Loki would’ve argued more. But he had been really hungry, so he agreed.

“The taste is agreeable enough.”

“Try the fries!” you said eagerly.

“These yellow sticks?” he asked pulling out one fry from the bag, and you giggle once again, he was learning you were quite easy to amuse.

“Yes, the yellow sticks, they’re potatoes with salt and soaked in hot oil to cook them” you smiled.

“That sounds unhealthy” he said, but he surely didn’t pass up the extra meal, and while he’d never admit it, but it was tasty.

“It is on the long run” you agreed. “But you don’t eat these every day. It’s more like… something you eat when you particularly crave it. Like a treat.”

“What’s on your bag?” Loki asked, a lot more agreeable now with a full stomach.

“Ah, you said you didn’t have much to do” you said and passed him bag. “It’s a portable DVD player and old movies.”

“I understood the word portable from that whole sentence” Loki said in an obvious tone.

He wasn’t new to technology, but unlike Earth, Asgard only used technology for practical purposes like travel and fighting. Never for entertainment.

“You can watch recorded over produced plays on the screen” you said adapting to what Loki might be familiar with. “Fury said you can’t have access to internet, so I thought since I don’t use this anymore it’d keep you entertained while Thor negotiates your freedom. And if you need something else, I could surely get it for you.”

Loki was trying to process it all while he followed your instructions to set up the devices you brought him. Now he’d finally give some use to the electricity plugins on his cell.

“Why are you so nice to me?” Loki asked.

“I don’t know” you shrugged. “You seem like you could use some kindness.”

“I’m a charity case?” Loki asked, not sure if he was thankful or offended.

“You wish. If I was charitable, I would’ve brought a fancy brand of fast food, and you’re a good junkyard to bring my old stuff” you snarled, making Loki laugh, for real this time.

Your cheeks flushed and were soon surrounded in a clod of silver mist. And when it disappeared you had vanished already.

Now that… Loki didn’t see coming. He had heard of your kind when he took control of some of SHIELD agents, humans with supernatural abilities. You were a mutant, and for the looks of it, one with teleportation powers. Now it made sense why someone seemingly so ordinary was in a place like this, flirting with a prisoner.

Interesting.

The next few days you kept bringing him food as usual, but two things had changed. One, the portions were bigger now, Loki now got to eat to a point where he was satisfied. Two, you joked around a lot less, in fact, you simply brought the food and stayed nearby in silence, and Loki had caught you staring at him with rosy cheeks.

So, you did fancy him… Truly interesting. And quite flattering too, he at least had to agree you were quite appealing to stare at.

“I watched one of your… Dee Bee Dees…” Loki started the conversation while he ate. “The one with the funny doctor…”

“That… doesn’t narrow it down much” you finally spoke. “Sarcastic asshole with a wounded leg?”

“He is sarcastic, but he treats patients with joy and laughter and goes against the rules. Like the pair of legs at the entrance” Loki specified. “It was a sweet story… I did feel bad for him when he lost his… you know.”

“Ah, yeah…” you said sadly.

For a few more days, the routine kept like that, you seemed a lot shyer than before and now Loki was the one pursuing your attention and with an arsenal of movies you had watched he always had a way to start conversation.

When he was sure he had properly understood your interest in him, he made his move.

While Loki wasn’t as flashy as Thor, he never had much trouble swooning anyone of his interest, with years of etiquette lessons and nourishing his mind with the most exquisite novels and books Asgard had to offer he knew how to charm anyone he desired.

And soon enough he was courting you. He recited for you the collection of the most exquisite verses he had memorized and casted his illusions of roses and butterflies for you to enjoy a romantic set up.

Soon Fury had two people demanding for his liberation. And since Loki had been in his best behavior Fury didn’t have an excuse to keep Loki locked up and while he had a tracker on his ankle and Asgardian magic bracelets capable of suppressing his magic.

You were there when they let Loki out and he made sure to hug you first. The more in love he seemed, the sooner he’d be truly free. You melted against his embrace and wrapped your arms around him in a warm hug.

Loki felt a light tug on his chest. He couldn’t remember the last time someone out of his parents and Thor been so eager and happy to hug him.

“I had been dreaming of this…” you spoke softly. “And your hugs are even cozier than I imagined.”

That felt like a dagger to his heart. Why were you so sweet?

“Alright, Bambi, if you try something your little sweetheart will let us know right away, got it?” Tony warned him.

You wrapped your arms around Loki’s bicep pressing yourself against him.

“He’s gonna be perfect” you defended him. “And if I’m wrong you can lock me up as well for helping a criminal out.”

Second dagger. What kind of idiot were you trusting him so blindly? Could you really not see he just wanted his freedom?

Loki finally had a proper room, or something like that. He would be staying in the Avengers Compound when the Helicarrier landed… until then there was a room where he, Thor, and basically everyone stayed.

Your bed the one right above Loki’s. Loki sighed. Just a few more days. Loki laid down and saw you looking down at him, peeking from your bed with big sparkling eyes.

“Yes?” Loki said in his best sweet loving tone.

“S-Sorry…” you mumbled as your cheeks got red. “I’m just really happy you’re here.”

“Aww, young love…” Kate cooed.

“SHUT UP! I’M OLDER THAN YOU!” you screeched and threw a pillow right at her face, making Loki smiled softly.

“You’re both babies…” Yelena grinned.

“Shut up, you hag!” you and Kate argued.

“You’re all babies…” Bucky corrected.

“DON’T STICK YOUR NOSE, YOU FOSSIL!” the three of you argued.

“I’m… not gonna join this argument being 1,500 years old” Thor laughed and soon eased the mood in all laughter again.

Meanwhile Loki wouldn’t stop thinking what you said to him. “I’m happy you’re here.” Third stab… How could you be so happy and attached to him so easily and quickly?

The next few days he had resigned to adapt to train with you. He had been a warrior all his life, but being a soldier was too boring for him. It was a lot of training, gym workouts, more training, and meetings. He saw you nodding off during the latter. Where did you pull the energy to play and joke around with him when you went to bring food to him while he had been locked up?

You yawned and rested against his shoulder as you dozed off during lunch once. You were so warm and trusted him more than he deserved. You seemed awfully comfortable around him.

Every spare moment you had was dedicated to him, you were awfully cuddly and touchy. Loki wasn’t used to this in the slightest. At first playing along seemed impossible. But your kisses were so gentle and tender, more often than not he found his eyes fluttering close and his hands wrapping around your waist in a loving way. Even sharing a room with a lot of people seemed more fun if he got to study your reactions.

“Take that!” you screamed as you and Kate smacked each other with pillows, but when a stray pillow hit Natasha in the back of the head, it was war.

Everyone was throwing and hitting each other with pillows until someone pushed you to Loki’s arms who had stayed out of the war as just a bystander. No one seemed to be paying much attention to him, but now you were.

Your face was beet red, and you were blabbering apologies if you had hurt him, (which, you hadn’t). But Loki simply smiled and grabbed your sides and started squeezing them, causing you to squeal and burst out laughing.

Oh, of course you were ticklish, he should’ve known. Hel, you irradiated this aura that just screamed “tickle me!” And as the God of Mischief, he was drawn to ticklish little things such as yourself, to make sure he could exploit every ticklish little inch of your giggly body. It had always been a pretty harmless way to ease his need to cause mayhem.

Soon the entire room was in fits of laughter since Loki had unintentionally inspired a tickle war.

“H-Hohohohoney! Pleahahahahase!” you begged Loki, “thahahahahat tickles!”

“So? I hope it doesn’t bother you, my dear” Loki purred in your ear as his fingers traveled up and down your ribs, causing you to screech. “I think I’d like to play with my pretty little toy some more…”

“Nohohohoho! Please! Hehehehehe! S-Stop it!” you giggled until you had proofed to reappear at the top bunk bed, right by the time someone else had surrendered and called truce.

Thor. His stomach was sore from laughing and he needed a break. But the big Asgardian was confident enough to not be affected by being the one to surrender in such harmless play fight.

“I’m nostalgic” Thor laughed. “Reminds me of the sleep overs with Fandral, Volstagg, Hogun and Sif.”

“I wouldn’t know, I was never invited.” Loki said.

“WHAT?!” you gasped and threw a pillow at Thor’s head in Loki’s defense. “JERK! TO YOUR OWN BROTHER!”

“What do you mean?” Thor asked. “You rejected us every time.”

“What are you talking about? You never invited me, brother” Loki explained. “By the time I had found out, you were all locked in your chambers.”

“Sif and the guys always said you said no” Thor said. “That’s why I always made smaller sleepovers with just you and me. I thought you hated big groups.”

Loki never thought Thor had been clueless, if anything he thought it had been him who rejected him, it never occurred to him it was the rest that orchestrated Loki’s exclusion. It made sense in retrospect, they were more Thor’s friends, not Loki’s.

“I enjoy time to myself,” Loki agreed. “But I’ve never been against big events. I always thought it was you who didn’t want me near your friends…”

“Of course not, brother…”

“Don’t feel bad, Loki” Yelena said in a tone that eased the mood. “Nat used to have sleepover with friends and ban me from her room the whole night. But we’re sisters, adopted or not.”

“I said I was sorry, and I was 11 you resentful crybaby!” Natasha argued with a laugh.

You noticed that had hit a sensitive spot-on Loki and went to sit behind Loki to give him a hug from behind. And it was unexpectedly comforting, he sighed as you kissed his cheek. Growing more and more used to your doting affection, you were also rather good to read his mood by now.

It just made him feel more guilty, so he tried changing the subject.

“You poof around when tickled, hm?” Loki chuckled. “Noted.”

“Not just when I’m tickled, when I get worked up by almost anything…” you explained. “I can’t always control it.”

“I see… so, I get you all worked up…” Loki flirted, making you jolt and squeak with a red face. “Heh… I’m flattered.”

“What about you?” you asked when you calmed down, resting your chin on his shoulder. “Does something like that happen to you?”

“Mmm… my magic is also very tied to my feelings is mostly surges of magic when I’m pissed off.” Loki shrugged. “In a way, the source of my magic abilities come from my control of how I feel. Which is why Thor could never learn sorcery… he couldn’t ever keep calm and focus enough.”

It felt a bit of a cheap answer, his guilt told him you were always vulnerable with him. There was another thing…

Alright, now that no one was paying attention to you two.

“When I was little, I used to have a lot of nightmares, and my mother stayed with me and taught me this spell… it allows you to invite someone else to your dreams, to put it simply. She taught me that spell to help me with the bad dreams… And sometimes I still cast it involuntarily while I sleep. It’s… what’s the word? Automatic, at this point.”

“You haven’t used it since we met” you pointed out.

“There’s these preventing that” Loki wiggled the magic cuffs on his wrists, and you shrank sheepishly. “Maybe one day I’ll have you sleep visiting… who knows…”

You smiled too eagerly at the idea… it was painful to see the adoration in your eyes.

The next night you were chatting happily, you laid on the floor with your feet hanging on Loki’s bed. Surprisingly he didn’t mind too much, he found himself much more engaged on the conversation. He simply rested his hand on your shin, caressing it with his thumb.

But at some point during the chat his hand brushed by your ankle, something that should’ve caught his attention way sooner. A location tracker like his. He brushed his fingers along the band, and you jolted, quickly making a bad excuse before rushing out. A terrible liar dating the god of lies. How ironic.

“I didn’t know… I thought I was the only one with one of these…” Loki pointed to his tracker.

“All mutants and non-SHIELD affiliated have one” Tony explained with a yawn. “Basically, if you have superpowers, you have two options, be an agent or an avenger.”

“Or locked up” Loki concluded, and the way no one answered, confirming his suspicion.

“You’re gonna be joining us, right, brother?” Thor smiled.

“Do I have a choice?”

Loki chuckled, he had been thinking about this prior to this information, the fear of actually losing his brother when Thor was ready to leave him forever in Sakaar had been too great.

But what about you? You didn’t strike him the superhero style, a were a fragile and sensitive little thing, and he couldn’t picture you in the battlefield, but being a soldier was clearly taking a huge toll on you. You seemed perpetually exhausted living like this.

“Has my darling decided yet?” Loki asked, he didn’t plan on the pet names, but it felt weirdly natural as it rolled off his tongue. It felt right.

“Not before meeting you, we had tried, but I’d say with you two together… things have changed for the better.” Steve assured him. “It’s a relief though, you two would be great assets in the future, and the life at the compound is bit freer and more independent.”

For some reason, Loki smiled at the sound of that.

“It’s gonna be for the best” Bruce smiled. “Fury can be quite severe, and the soldier life isn’t for everyone…”

Loki couldn’t see you long term here, you’d be overworking yourself for a lifestyle too demanding and that you didn’t even like. It would be for the best to be an Avenger… at least that’d give you some more freedom.

By then, the mood had died down and everyone went to bed, turning off the lights way before you arrived. A few more minutes passed… and nothing. Loki considered going to find you when you opened the door, guiding your way with your phone’s flashlight. You had a messy damp ponytail, and baggy pajamas. You arrived and sat by Loki’s bed and immediately collapsed right beside him, invading his bed. He was ready to climb and use yours when you he felt a tug on his shirt.

“Let me stay with you…” you mumbled with your eyes closed, it seemed you still had some consciousness.

Loki nodded and laid down beside you, wrapping his arm over you, and tucking you under the bedsheets. He had to keep appearances. Yeah… Of course.

He studied you for a while. Your hair was soft, and it smelled like wild berries, shampoo he had started using as well because it smelled so nice. Your skin was soft and smooth, it was addictive to trace his fingers along your body. He traced circles along your side.

“Nooo… thahahat tickles…” you giggled and shifted in your half-asleep state, making something stir within Loki. “You can tickle me all you want in the morning, okay baby…?”

“Ohoho! Is that so?” Loki chuckled. “That’s dangerous thing to offer to the God of Mischief don’t you think?”

“’s okay… I trust you…” you yawned snuggling against his chest.

“Y-You do…?”

“You’d never do anything to hurt me…” you assured him, even with your brain fighting with all it’s might to not succumb to exhaustion.

Once his eyes adapted to the darkness, he stared at your face. Your features were gentle, with a pureness that only a heart that hadn’t been corrupted with cruelness and malice would have. It made him feel weak.

“I love you” you mumbled, kissing his lips before finally falling asleep with the most peaceful smile he had ever seen on anyone that was this close to him.

“I… I love you too…” he whispered and kissed the top of your head.

Now Loki genuinely wanted to stab himself through the chest, he deserved nothing less.

The next morning was the last time he’d be in the Helicarrier for a long time if he could help it. Both of you got the trackers removed and he was officially free. The magic cuffs were taken off of Loki and he immediately summoned a huge illusion that had a radius of a few kilometers as he stretched and showed off.

A huge double rainbow, oh how he had missed using his magic like this. He noticed your eyes sparkling in admiration.

Thor helped him unpack and you two were assigned neighbor bedrooms so the lovey dovey couple could stay close. You seemed ecstatic, you set your room and invited him to see it.

It was very much what he expected from you. Cozy and cute, just being inside made him want to lay down on your bed and sleep. And of course you had a pile of stuffed animals. He laid back on your bed, sinking in the mattress and fluffy covers.

Adorable.

“Honey bunny, I’m gonna go to the city alone today… don’t follow me” you warned him and proofed away before reappearing for a second. “And don’t snoop around my stuff! Love ya!”

And you disappeared in a gust of silvery white mist. Loki napped on your bed for a while, but… he couldn’t resist, he was curious by nature. He walked by your desk and saw the mirror of had a bunch of photos of him stuck to the board, he wasn’t smiling in any of them, and most had been taken him by surprise. Loki would’ve thought it weird, but the two of you were dating. And you only did what was normal for someone in a relationship. He smiled softly at how purely infatuated you were.

“Loki!” you called for him, so you had returned. He went to find you.

You had smiled so brightly as you jumped to his arms and showered his face in loving smooches.

“I missed you!” you smiled between kisses.

“You just left an hour or so…” he chuckled.

“It’s still too much time away from you!” you snuggled with him. “I missed this pretty face.”

“Heh…” he chuckled.

“I bought us something.” You smiled and handed him a golden bracelet with a round item on the middle. You kept the silver one. “It’s a distance touch bracelet.”

You touched your bracelet, and he felt his buzzing. Oh. He knew this couldn’t have been cheap. And you still didn’t hesitate to get it for him.

“Now you can feel me close, even if I vanish, or if we can’t be with each other.” You giggled.

His heart fluttered. How could there be someone so overly sweet? To him, of all people.

“Thank you…” he smiled.

Days passed and Loki’s sanity was evaporating in thin air. Guilt was eating him alive.

You were in truly, madly, and hopelessly in love with him. You wanted nothing but the best for him and you always showered him with love, affection and the sweetest kisses he had ever tasted. And worst of it all, he was falling in love with you. He deserved no love from you, but he had it… And it filled his heart with a warmth he didn’t deserve. Oh, you poor lovely thing, if you only knew how cruel his intentions had been to start your relationship.

He did what you wanted now, trying to make up for it. He didn’t want you to feel like you did all the job in a relationship anymore. Soon the photos were more couple y, of kisses and hugs, Loki took photos of you more as well. He invited you to read and nap with him.

He tickled you lots, and making you giggle in his arms as he held you close. He hugged you tight, trying to squeeze in all the love he had develop for the kind soul that had been nothing but sweet to him. In a wordless pray for your forgiveness.

He did everything that occurred to him would make you happy.

“No way! You’re ticklish?!” you gasped with an ear-to-ear grin.

“Terribly so, I can’t stand being ticked in between my ribs” he smiled as he rested his chin on your head, with you sitting on his lap. “My magic acts up on its own if I get overwhelmed, like you.”

“Really?” you giggled and caressed his sides. “Can I try?”

“For a kiss…” he smiled and puckered his lips for a smooch, which you complied with a huge grin. “I adore you… Fine, you got one minute to tickle my ribs.”

“Just one minute?” you whined with that lovely smile of yours.

“Thirty seconds?” he smiled.

“Eh?!” you whined. “One minute!”

“See how convincing I am?” he grinned.

“Oh, you—” you said and turned around to start poking and prodding his ribs, Loki couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

“Ack! Hehehehe!” he whined, you were too good at this, he was laughing his heart out. “S-Stohohohop! Hehehehe! I-It’s been a minute! Hahaha! S-Stop!”

“I’m not done with you, you pretty tease!” you giggled and kept prodding between his ribs.

“Oh yeheheah?!” he laughed and skittered his fingers along your belly.

You were squealing and giggling in the blink of an eye. But you didn’t stop tickling him.

“Hehehehe! Hic! G-Give up!” you giggled and squirmed as you prodded his sides.

“You give up! Hahahahaha!” he giggled squeezed your tummy and skittered his fingers along your armpits.

“Ack! Noohohohoho!” you whine and squeezed above his kneecaps, making him jump and ergo you fell off his lap and onto the couch.

“You’re in trouble…” he grinned and his fingers, poked, drilled, kneaded and scratch over every sensitive spot on your body, and it didn’t matter if you gave up. He didn’t stop until you were breathless.

Only then he stopped and held you in his arms.

“Remind me to not tickle you again, you’re sadistic” you smiled.

“You know it, darling…” he smiled and kissed the top of your head. “Did you have fun?”

“Mhm…” you smiled and leaned against him. “I love you.”

You were beyond ecstatic. You melted under all of his affection and more time he spent with you, the more he couldn’t deny his feelings for you.

He did it everything he could to make you happy. But nothing he did alleviated his guilt. He could only imagine the amount of heartache you would feel if you found out he had only used you to try looking better adjusted and be free, and that he had pretended to fall in love.

He couldn’t eat, he couldn’t sleep. He was going insane. He walked around the compound like a ghost during the night. He did a stop to throw up in the toilet.

“You’re awake,” you surprised him despite your gentle tone. “Is something bothering you?”

“N-No, love. I just wasn’t feeling very tired.” He assured you. “Don’t worry. Go back to sleep.”

You placed your hands on his hips and leaned closer to him the way you did whenever you were going to kiss him. But you took a little sniff—probably smelling his bad breath—you stopped and smiled at him with kindness.

“Mmm… Insomnia, hm?” you smiled and pulled him to the kitchen. “I know just the cure.”

You heated up water and prepared him a tea with honey. The warmth of the drink ran through him as the sweet drink got rid of the bad taste, and he sighed a tear streaming down his face.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, cupping his face.

“I’ve done so many awful things… And…” he spoke softly. “I don’t know how to fix them… I don’t deserve any forgiveness…”

“Oh Loki…” you hugged him. “No one blames you… you didn’t mean it… I’ve seen your pretty heart, and you deserve all the love in the world… Gosh, if I could take all the pain, you’re feeling for myself, I would.”

“Please don’t say that…” he begged. He couldn’t handle anymore guilt, but he didn’t know how to tell you the truth.

You gently guided him to your bedroom and tucked him in your bed, wrapping your arms around him in a protective way.

“Forgive me love... Please forgive me…” he begged between mutters. “I take it all back… please… Please don’t hate me… please…”

“Shh…” you whispered, running your fingers through his hair. “It’s all gonna be okay… I’m always gonna be here for you.”

               Between the warm tea, his exhaustion, the previous sleepless nights, your comfortable bed, and your loving touch… his body gave up on him and he fell asleep.

Everything was dark, and cold, covered in ice and a cruel wind. Loki had a good tolerance to cold, but he was freezing.

“Monster…” a voice echoed so loudly it made Loki’s ears ring. It was his own voice and it came from everywhere around him.

“Traitorous rat…”

“Murderer…”

“Beast…”

“Liar…”

“Frost giant…”

“Monster…”

“Manipulator…”

“Liar…”

“We finally had someone’s trust…”

“Of course, you just play around with others!”

Loki was completely surrounded by copies of himself, all at least twice his size, blue skin, Jotun attire, and eyes red like blood. True frost giants.

Loki simply took every blow and insult. He deserved them.

“Loki…?” a different voice called. “Is this what you meant by inviting someone to your dreams?”

No please… you couldn’t be here.

“Darling… wake up… please don’t be here…” Loki begged you. “Please…”

“I’m not leaving you here on your own…” you spoke and kneeled beside him.

Loki felt his body change, every muscle vanished leaving him as practically skin and bones. Small. Weak.

“Loki… what’s going on?! What’s happening to you?!”

Loki tried to shapeshift back to his natural look, but he had no control of his own body. At this point in life, he should be desensitized to nightmares where his magic didn’t obey him… but…

“Please… leave me here…” he spoke as he could, but he could barely hear himself.

“Don’t say that... What’s… what can I do for you?”

There was something about dreams, and especially Loki’s dreams, that always seemed to be extra dramatic. It must have been so confusing to be in one as an outsider.

Loki’s body changed again, he grew twice his usual size, and his body was blue and muscled. Exactly the body of a Jotun.

“STOP BEING SO GOOD TO ME! CAN’T YOU SEE I DON’T LOVE YOU?!”

“What?!”

What?! No! That wasn’t true…

Loki tried to take it back, but he was in autopilot. He was in the passenger seat of his own mind.

“I DON’T LOVE YOU! ARE YOU THAT GULLIBE TO THINK I’D FALL IN LOVE WITH A MORTAL?! I HAVE BEEN USING YOU!”

“No… no, you're not… You wouldn’t…”

“I JUST NEEDED A COVER, TO SEEM WELL ADJUSTED ENOUGH TO NOT BE A PRISONER! AND YOU WERE ANNOYING ENOUGH TO BARGE IN DEFENSE OF ME! I’V BEEN PLAYING WITH YOU FROM DAY ONE! DON’T YOU SEE YOU ARE JUST A TOY?! YOU’RE PATHETIC!”

The look on your face was heartbreaking. You looked crushed.

“I HAVE BEEN THINKING OF A WAY TO GET RID OF YOU! I CAN’T SLEEP AND I WANT TO THROW UP THINKING I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH YOU YET ANOTHER DAY!”

You curled up on the floor and Loki lifted you but your collar’s shirt.

“GET IT INSIDE YOUR HEAD! I COULD NEVER LOVE A MORTAL AS UNNERVING AS YOU!” Loki screamed at you before slamming you against the floor.

“NO!” Loki sat up with a gasp and his body drenched in sweat. He looked around and saw you curled up on the bed, your back facing him. “Love?! Thank goodness… I’m so— Love, w-what’s wrong…?”

You were stiff and you had a hand on the back of your head. Loki shifted and stretched a bit and saw your face. Your eyes were full of tears, yet he had never seen you with such a cold expression in your face.

“My love… and what’s wrong?” Loki placed a hand over your arm, and you slapped it.

“Why did you say that?” you asked him.

“I d-don’t know… I wasn’t… I didn’t…” Loki stuttered. “My dreams are like that…”

“No. I mean, what you said was really specific. Why…?”

“I don’t—I don’t know why I—”

“Tell me the truth, Loki.” You ordered him. “Did you, or did you not pretend to love me for your freedom?”

Loki stayed quiet. He didn’t have the courage to tell you the truth, but he didn’t have the heart to keep lying to you. With that confirmation tears started falling down your cheeks again.

“Y-Yes but I—that was before…”

“Get out…” you spoke.

“What? No, darling, listen… I…”

“I don’t want to hear you.”

“Please love… let me explain…” he tried holding you.

That made you snap. You started hitting him, being a human it was impossible for you to harm him, but not once in his life had he felt more pain.

“DON’T TOUCH ME! DON’T TALK TO ME!”

“Darling please…”

“I DON’T WANNA SEE YOU EVER AGAIN! GET OUT OF MY ROOM AND GET OUT OF MY LIFE!”

He had no strength to fight you, he was defenseless as you kicked him out of your room, slamming the door on his face.

There were a few faces popping out of their door to try seeing what had happened and that quickly retreated back to their rooms. Loki had no choice but to go inside of his own bedroom.

The next morning, he nearly tripped on his way out with a box by is door. It was full of books, quills, a coat, photos of you together. And… the silver bracelet that matched his own. It tore his heart to shreds. He didn’t feel as guilty anymore. But remorse and the memory of how brokenhearted you looked was even more sadistic. He heard you crying often from across the wall.

A few days later the others started giving him dirty looks. Knowing you and considering that this didn’t happen right away he assumed they had found out after heavy interrogation and now everyone knew he had used you. Even Thor seemed upset, not angry, but he had this… disappointment in his eyes.

“I hate dealing with moving companies” Tony sighed as they all sat for dinner. “But Fury wants to have our little Houdini enlisted by the end of the week. It’s a shame… The kiddos enjoyed being around each other.”

“Tell me about it” Clint sighed. “Kate is devastated.”

“Speaking of devastated…” Natasha said as she stood up, and Loki would’ve sworn she was shooting daggers at him with that glare. “See if I can be more convincing about eating something, otherwise Fury will have a corpse enlisting.”

You were moving out? To become a SHIELD agent? But you hated being a soldier. Had he hurt you so bad that you preferred that lifestyle and ruin your life forever… than being around him?

This all felt awfully familiar. Loki excused himself and went to his room and lock himself inside. He closed his eyes, and part of him wished that they’d never open again.

“Am I cursed?” Loki asked, choked up by the last bit of hope.

“No.” Odin responded the worst thing he could've said him. A curse would've been better.

Loki placed the casket down, weakly, it suddenly felt like a very... very heavy thing to carry. And the weight stayed there, right on his chest even after the casket had been placed back at the pedestal.

“Then what am I?” Loki asked softly, afraid of the answer.

“You're my son.” Odin answered, and Loki doubted his own magic since he couldn't detect dishonesty in his father's words.

Clearly that was a lie. So why didn’t his magic detect that? Loki felt rage spiral out of control like a boiling pot.

“What more than that?” Loki growled, still trying to keep his composure as he walked towards his father that was by the stairs at the other side of the corridor. “The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?”

Odin looked him in the eye. Unable to deny it any longer. It had been to many years with that secret. As Loki walked closer, Odin just started at him in silence as Loki reached the stairs.

“No.” Odin finally said. “In the aftermath of the battle, I went into the Temple, and I found a baby. Small for a giant's offspring— abandoned, suffering, left to die. Laufey's son.”

That felt like a dagger piercing the young prince’s heart. Out of all the things he was insecure about, it turned out he WAS an outsider. Out of all the things he could’ve been, he HAD to be a Jotun, a monster. Out of all the Jotun’s in existence, he was the son of the worst of them all. And out of all the reasons he could’ve been adopted for, was because even his own biological family didn’t want him… and his adopted family never told him any of this.

“Laufey's son...?” Loki finally managed to gasp out, he was choking up on his own tears. “Why? You were knee-deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me?”

“You were an innocent child.” Odin said, sounding more exhausted by the second.

“No!” Loki begged his father, knowing that Odin was a strategic warrior. There was always a meaning behind his actions. “You took me for a purpose, what was it?”

But Odin didn’t answer. The physical toll of delaying his Odin sleep to prepare Thor to rule, preventing a war, the emotional toll of having to banish Thor and now… having his youngest child doubt his love for him because of his foolish decision of not telling him the truth earlier were overwhelming him.

The All-King saw with pain how the little child that once smiled at him with love when he picked him in his arms after the battle now saw him with fear, pain, and resentment.

“TELL ME!” Loki demanded loudly, no longer capable of remaining calm.

“I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day, bring about an alliance, bring about a permanent peace... through you.” Odin confessed.

That was the final blow to Loki’s poor heart.

“What…?”

A tool. All he had been adopted for was as an instrument of peace between Asgard and a race that everyone saw as blood-thirsty monsters.

“But those plans no longer matter.” Odin clarified.

“So, I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up… here, until you might have use of me.” Loki inquired in pain.

“Why do you twist my words?” Odin asked softly.

“You could have told me what I was from the beginning.” Loki urged, desperate to makes sense of what easily was the worst day of his life. “Why didn't you?!”

“You are my son. I wanted only to protect you from the truth.” Odin said softly, in a fruitless attempt to calm his poor child’s heart.

“Wh— B-Because I-I-I am the monster parents tell their children about at night?!” Loki asked, flooded by all the scary stories about the frost giants growing up. All those times he and Thor played heroes as kids fighting those monsters.

“Don't...” Odin begged as his strength slowly abandoned him.

But Loki couldn’t listen anymore. The grief was too great, and the feeling of betrayal didn’t allow him to trust Odin anymore.

“It all makes sense now! Why you favored Thor all these years.” Loki yelled as he started walking up the stairs to yell at Odin as the All-Father slowly lost his strength and started passing out on the stairs. “Because no matter how much you claim to “love” me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the Throne of Asgard!”

Odin kept trying until his last second of consciousness to beg his son for help, forgiveness… anything. But he had been too weakened to dedicate his young boy some kind of love or reassurance as he fell prey to the Odin sleep, he had delaying for so long.

Now Loki encountered a similar dilemma. He had been stupid, dishonest, and selfish to someone who offered him nothing but unconditional love. He betrayed your trust and there was no way now that Loki could prove that despite his original intentions his love wasn’t any less real.

He laid down on his bed, with his arm draped dramatically over his eyes.

“Troubled, my son?” a voice spoke making Loki sit up.

“Father” Loki smiled softly. “I ruined it. I had the most beautiful love in my life… and I was stupid and lost it because of my own selfishness.”

“That sounds familiar” Odin chuckled. “You truly are my son, after all.”

“You had always been will always be my father…” Loki said the words he had denied for several years. “I never understand your reasons. Cruel as they were…”

“Not holding back against your old father, hm?” Odin laughed.

“Sorry…” Loki smiled softly.

“My original reasons were foolish, selfish, and even cruel as you rightfully… but I always hoped to do what would be best for the 9 Realms” he spoke. “But that didn’t mean the love I had for you wasn’t any less real. You are my son, regardless of the kind of blood that coursed through your veins.”

Loki smiled softly; it was weird. He knew Odin would have never say all that. But now, after growing up so much, he understood it wasn’t because he didn’t feel it, he had always been too proud and formal, too much of a king. And while imperfect, it was still his father.

“That’s why you never caught me lying when I called you my son or said that I loved you.” Odin spoke. “In my heart, you’ve always been my son.”

“I know, father” Loki smiled. “I’m sorry it took me so long to understand it.”

“I’m sorry I never told you before… I feared you wouldn’t take it well…”

“Me? I would never” Loki joked softly.

“We always loved you as our own” a female voice added making Loki turned around.

“Mother.” Loki spoke breathless. “I know… I know… I knew, I was just too scared I could’ve been wrong, and you didn’t…”

“You were too much of a charming kid not to love you” Frigga said compassionately. “Your little human surely thinks so too.”

Ah… that… Loki wasn’t so sure.

“I ruined it, I deserve nothing but the hatred and disgust I’ve earned from my darling.” Loki huffed out. “I manipulated, lied, and destroyed the trust of my love.”

“Dear, there’s nothing final in these matters…” Frigga smiled softly. “If that loved blossomed once, you may rescue it and nourish it again. But first… you need to apologize.”

“I don’t think I’m wanted anywhere near hearing range.” Loki explained.

“Do you think the love between your mother, and I always had a perfect relationship?” Odin smiled.

“Your father was too temperamental for that” Frigga intervened with a smile and both parents looked at each other with love. “But when you truly love someone and you make a mistake, you swallow your pride and make up for your wrongdoings.”

Loki smiled softly, he remembered it well. When Odin’s temper got the best of him because of the stress of being a king, Odin made sure to make up for Frigga know how truly sorry he was, and Frigga who already knew her husband’s temper was an expert on not letting her affect her, knowing it was never personal. She had truly been blessed with infinite patience given she dealt with three men with bad tempers and yet her kindness and loving nature knew no end. It was not rare to see Odin gifting Frigga fancy gifts and spend long hours apologizing and dedicating the day to her. It wasn’t the perfect arrangement, but no relationship was.

Loki chuckled softly.

“Thanks…” he smiled and both parents tended a hand to him with a smile. “I know what I have to do.”

Ready to say goodbye, Loki placed his hands on top of Odin and Frigga’s, and with that, the figure of his parents faded under a green light as Loki’s palms stopped glowing. Loki let out a little laugh as he wiped his tears.

His illusions had never been so benevolent towards himself, they were either torturous or for a fake sense of gloating and dissociation. But your compassion had changed him forever. He could use them for closure and to guide him with the stuff he knew but needed to hear. And… you deserved that at least.

He got up and went outside and went to a trip. It took him around an hour to get to the city and a couple more hours to get his several stops get several gifts. A lovely white bouquet of flowers, a box of your favorite chocolates, a necklace with a cute silver heart shaped locket and got it printed with a small photo, a copy of a photo he had carried from one of your first “dates” you got where you were giving him a small kiss in the cheek and cupped the other one, a symbol of your shared love.

On his way back, Loki held the original photo close to his chest and sighed. He prayed this would work as he was on his way to see you. He knocked on your door and hid his gifts behind himself, not even remembering he could’ve concealed them with his magic from how nervous he was.

His chest tightened as you opened the door, your eyes and nose were red, and your cheeks were stained with tears. Oh Norns… He had hurt you really bad.

“Love… Please… let me explain” Loki spoke softly.

“What do you need to explain, Loki?” you asked and sniffled, practically murdering him when you called him Loki instead of one of your lovely cheesy pet names. “That I was just a toy for you to play with and pretend that you loved me, so you’d be a free man? I got that quite clearly.”

You were ready to slam the door on his face, but he reached his leg to stop you. He nearly dropped one of your gifts. You looked at him confused, eying him up and down before sighing in defeat, opening the door he walked inside of your little room. He saw the little night table covered with used tissues and the bed’s decorative cushions were all over the place. It broke his heart.

“What do you want, Loki?” you asked tiredly as you sat on the bed, placing a cushion on your lap and against your chest.

“My darling, I was the biggest, most cruel and inconsiderate imbecile of all 9 Realms” he said, kneeling before you as he handed you the bouquet of flowers. You gently placed the flowers on your lap, still looking at him.

“It is true, that I was looking to just find a relationship to pretend I had adapted to living on earth” he spoke. “It was a selfish, shallow, and dishonest reason to make you mine… But I did it. It was heartless and there’s no excuse or reason for you to forgive that. But I beg of you to stay here… never speak to me again if you need, but don’t settle to a life of misery just to avoid me. I will happily accept being locked up in a dungeon for a hundred years, so you don’t see the likes of me again…”

He handed you the chocolate, and your gaze softened for a second as you saw the chocolate, he remembered which ones you liked the most. You opened your mouth to speak, but a gentle squeeze to your hands let you know Loki still wanted to speak.

He had caused all of this for not telling you the truth, and now he wanted to fully bare his soul to you now.

“You offered me boundless kindness, patience despite my flaws, understanding to my pain and sins of the past, laughter like I hadn’t enjoyed before, you fed with the most delicious and warm foods I had ever eaten, you showed me the concept of dates and you bared me completely vulnerable to your touch and heart and you bared yourself completely to me without fear of me…” Loki continued, as tears streamed down his face, drowning in regret. “And all I did was play with you and betray the trust your selfless heart gave me without asking for anything in return.”

He placed his forehead on your knees and sobbed, completely ashamed of what he had done to you. He didn’t deserve your forgiveness, but he felt like he’d die without you. And he’ deserve it.

“I don’t care” you finally spoke, and he looked up, he saw the tears streaming down your face. “You’re the God of Mischief and Lies, there are countless stories of how you lied and manipulated to get away with anything you wanted… I should’ve expected I’d be just that.”

“No— No, darling!” Loki held your hands and pressed his lips against your knuckles. “No, my sweet, you— I was selfish. I wanted a cover up, yes, but what I found was love, I found the butterflies in my stomach you always speak of. I found the warm of your hands lingering on my skin after our dates. I found myself awake during the night sighing over those lovely eyes I’ve now so cruelly filled with tears…” Loki spoke softly.

You were shaking in your place as you did your best not to cry and interrupt him. He brushed his finger along your cheek as in appreciation of your effort.

“None of what you heard that night was true in my heart…” he assured you “I never felt so disgusted I wanted to vomit; it was guilt that was killing me from the inside… knowing I was hurting such a beautiful flower.”

He handed you the heart locket and you opened it, seeing the photo made you sob as silently as you could.

“I was selfish and a liar. I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me and want nothing to do with me again. But please know that my heart beats for and because of you only.” He spoke. “I fell hopelessly and irredeemably in love with you. I swear that on my life.”

You looked at him and smiled, as you wrapped your arms around his neck and sobbed now freely and unrestrained. Time seemed to stop for Loki as he hugged you back, taking in your scent and caressing you. Tears fell down his face and he held you, afraid you’d disappear if he let go of you.

You forgave him. He didn’t think he’d ever be so lucky to find a kind soul that would forgive even his worst mistake. But he found it, you were kind enough to do so. Your wrapped your arms around him in a warm hug and Loki was able to let all the pain and guilt go… He couldn’t undo his mistakes, but he could be better, and he wanted to be his best self for you.

“Thank you… Norns, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry…” he repeated over and over between whispers and tears as he held you tight.

You sat up straight and cupped his face and laughed softly as you still cried happy tears.

“You’re gonna have to buy me a new box of tissues, you booger” you joked softly with a sniffle, and pressed your forehead to his and grabbed a tissue to blow your nose.

“I’ll give you the entire world if you so desire, my love” he spoke with a gentle smile. “Just say the word.”

“I don’t need the world” you smiled and kissed his cheek. “I have everything I need right here.”

“What did I do to deserve you?” he chuckled softly as he grabbed a tissue to wipe his tears and blow his nose. “I’m a disaster and somehow I still found the most precious little dove all for myself.”

You held him tightly in a hug… in silence for a few minutes before you spoke again.

“Did you think I was annoying when we first met?” you asked with a stern look on your face. “I want the truth.”

“Truthfully… you were a nightmare…” Loki admitted in a soft playful tone.

“HEY!” you whined and dug your fingers into the crevices of his ribs making him burst out laughing. “I said honest, not mean!”

“Ehehehe! Lohohohohove, let me finish!” he giggled, letting you have this, it was the least he could do. “P-Please, s-stohohohop that! Not there!”

You smiled and went to tickle his belly. Oh, you had really not liked that.

“Plehehehehehease, dahahaharling! I surrender!” he laughed and did his best to not squirm.

“Fine… what is it?” you asked, as you sat sideways on his lap, already happily cuddling with him.

Thank whatever superior force that was out there… Oh, you’re a wonderful blessing.

“You’re a nightmare turned into a dream” he clarified and he didn’t even bother fighting the urge to squeeze you tightly.

“You have 3 seconds to explain how that’s a compliment o I’ll tickle you until you puncture a lung.”

“Ihihi— I mean like, when you start having a bad dream… but it turns around as the most wonderful of dreams, those that you still think about after waking up.” Loki said, and as those words he was sure he had fried his brain because he didn’t make any sense.

But that was enough for you.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” You grumbled.

“C’mon… don’t be mad at me for being foolish and wrong” he smiled as he squeezed you tight. “Surely you thought I was insufferable at first as well, we’re so different after all.”

You smiled and shook your head.

“I love my pretty prince” you smiled and picked a tissue yourself to clean your face. “Flaws, differences, and all.”

“Do you, now?” he grinned cheekily. “I sure am a lucky one to be called yours.”

“A Loki one” you giggled, and Loki made a scowl of disgust. “Sorry! I thought it too late when I said it and— hehehe!”

“Oh, that was awful— C’mere… you!”

“W-What?! NO! NOHOHOHOHO! LOHOHOHOKI, STOP IHIHIHIT!”

As he made you laugh and held you against him, he couldn’t doubt how fortunate he was to be so undoubtedly yours.

| MASTERPOST |

[disneyismyworldforever]

Title: Jealous Chapter 1

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x female y/n sister Odinson (to loki and thor) ~ future

Bucky Barnes x Sharon - currently together (but will break up)

Sharon x Steve (who Sharon gets caught with)

Theme: Romance, Love, Future, Relationship problems, Jealousy, Cheating.

Warning: Mention of Sex, Panties thrown.

Summary: Y/N Odinson is adopted sister to Thor and Loki, who recently has reappear to find the guy she has always had a crush on in a toxic relationship. She wants to prove to bucky they would be better couple. (Sidenote: Please go easy on me it's my first fic I've had the courage to write)

Y/N Odinson had been away for quite some time debating if she wanted to stay on earth or live on Asgard. Being the sister to thor and loki, what type of god was she. Thor had his hammer, and loki was king of mischief. What exactly was her strength, you ask? She was the goddess of Hunting.

Meaning she knew how to track people by their scent and footprints and always found her target. Her weapon of choice was a bow and arrow she received around the same time Thor had gotten his hammer. Being the youngest of the three of them, she knew they would be protective of her. Unless it was loki, you were asking. Loki didn't general care for Y/N, just like Thor. However, Thor and Y/N had always been close.

Y/N figure she could find her brother Thor at Avengers Tower. She walked right into the place since Stark knew her cause of thor and loki and wondered where everyone was.

Then she heard some giggling and familiar voice with the person who was giggling. She couldn't believe it, did Bucky Barnes actually have a girlfriend. It blew her mind in all time she knew the man he always came off as type to never want anything serious.

When they first met, Y/N actually had a huge crush on Bucky. However, nothing happened because Bucky told her he could never be with Thor and Loki "Little Sister."

Y/N was about to leave but heard the giggling and voices coming closer. She decided to crouch down behind the kitchen island where the pair would not see her.

Then the pair appeared, Bucky and Sharon. It took Y/N just a few seconds to feel her angry start to boil. Sharon wasn't the nicest person, especially to Y/N, since she knew of the crush on Bucky. She couldn't believe she had snatched her "Winter Soldier."

Y/N tried to ignore all noises the couple were making. She didn't want to hear them but had nowhere to run. She was about to move before Sharon had noticed her hiding and decided to do something evil.

She whispers into Bucky's ear, telling him to take her right there in the kitchen since no one else was around. Bucky gives her one of his classic smirks and puts Sharon on top of the kitchen island, spreading her legs wide.

"Whose's Beau naughty girl," He grunts, tossing her panties to the ground unbeknownst they had landed on top of Y/N. It took a lot for Y/N, not panic about panties landing on her.

Sharon uses a sexy voice for Bucky, "I'm so naughty, Beau, take me here already," she moaned for him.

Y/N didn't know how much longer she could last forced to listen to these noises.

Then, out of nowhere, Bucky had shifted his right foot right on top of Y/N hand, forcing a Yelp from her lips and getting Bucky attention this time.

Bucky looked down where his foot was and then at Y/N.

"What the hell, Odinson, how long have you been here" Bucky said sneering at her.

Y/N knew she was in trouble now with the man she once hoped would be hers one day.

[lina-lovebug]

USM characters dating an Avengers daughter

- you knew his about his not-so-subtle crush on your dad when you first met, and decided not to tell him

- you adore him but whose to say he won't just use you as an excuse to hang out with your philanthropist billionaire playboy dad?

- but you'd been dating awhile, and had met Aunt May (who adored you), so why were you avoiding the subject of your dad?

- that was until you were fixing your suit and Peter walked in, gave you a kiss and offered to help. You forgot the little engraving your dad left you on your suit, "be careful and kick ass, love dad"

- "aw, that's sweet," he smiled, "when can I meet him?"

- "you. . .already have," you said, trying to gage his reaction, "he made me my first suit. . .and yours"

- it took him a few seconds but then it all clicked. His super amazing genius girlfriend whose dad bought her a Porsche at fifteen was Tony Stark

- his idol

- "I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner, but you idolize him and I was scared and-"

- he understood - completely shocked but understood

- he does ask if that means he can drive the Porsche now tho

- you and your mom? Best friends

- danny and your mom? Not so much

- being the daughter of Black Widow herself came with a lot of trust, and many secrets so you never intended on dating because of it

- but then this handsome motherfucker gentleman comes along and you're on cloud nine

- you told him you have a complicated past and he respected that, waiting until you were ready

- but he's Iron Fist, King of K'un L'un and an Agent of SHIELD so he took notice when you'd disappear from team sessions

- he admits he got curious and followed one day, and there you were: training with Black Widow herself, and doing it flawlessly

- and at the end of it, his suspicions were confirmed once you hugged and said, "thanks, mom"

- "So are you gonna introduce us or does he always do that?" She made DIRECT eye contact with him and it honestly sent a shiver down his spine

- he introduced himself, remaining calm and collected, which impressed her but she also knows that people can hide how they rlly feel

- she GRILLED HIM

- "where'd you grow up?" "K'un L'un" "who are your parents?" "Heather and Wendell Rand" "if you're a billionaire, why do you wear five dollar flip flops?"

- you knew she approved of him, but she liked to keep him on his toes

- "beloved, I love you, but your mother scares me"

- oh how does one BEGIN to explain to their bullet proof boyfriend that their dad is Thor?

- he knew you had to be other worldly, and not just because he thinks you're a Goddess you accidentally struck him with lightning one time

- you wanted to keep it a secret for a bit before the Almighty Thor comes in and demands to know Luke's intentions

- "babe, why is Thor asking me when I'm proposing?"

- being a God came with perks, so Thor knew not long after you guys started dating that something was amiss with his daughter

- (you stopped remembering to being him poptarts and he got upset)

- "how do I know if he is worthy of your hand?"

- "He makes me laugh :) and he's bulletproof so. . ."

- they get along great

- his first trip to Asgard was a bit intimidating but seeing as you're half human, your mom reminded him that love between you guys was possible

- "I recommend a traditional Asgardian ceremony-"

- "dad we're sixteen"

- o h b o i

- talk about overprotective father

- you're a minute late, who were you with? What were you doing? I want their names, addresses, social security-

- if you guessed Winter Soldier a.k.a Bucky then you guessed right

- he knew something was up the moment you two lingered for a bit after training, and watching from the top deck this man SPOTTED your hands brush and asked Fury for Novas' personal file

- but knowing your dad, you were actually able to keep your relationship a secret for two months before he put the pieces together himself

- you both were out on a picnic date, Sam having made a cute cake, and a very threatening man with a metal arm came up sat down, smiled at him, held his hand out and said, "Samuel Alexander, sixteen, last Nova, grew up in Carefree, and 5'8, correct?"

- you were LIVID

- meanwhile Sam was like "omg he knows my name :0!!"

- you had told Sam long before dating that your dad was extremely overprotective, but Sam being Sam was just excited that his badass girlfriend has a badass dad!!

- and Buckys like "wtf this kid isn't even remotely terrified"

- Sam asks question after question, and it even turns into a third wheel - as in they're bonding and you're just there

- Bucky likes him but still tries to be somewhat intimidating, being the infamous Winter Soldier and all

- "Babe. . .baabe. . .when's your dad gonna be back? I wanna ask him if he likes my new helmet look"

- so like where do I even start

- you and Ava had been dating for a couple of months before she started to realize that she hadn't met your family

- you told her that they were just really intense and you didn't wanna scare her

- but who could scare White Tiger? So she insisted and you said "your funeral"

- also how does one explain to their partner that they technically shouldn't exist because your dad is a robot and your mom is a witch?

- your brothers LOVE her

- Billy and Tommy immediately recognized Ava, seeing as they'd work with the team from time to time and said "ooh our sisters dating the smart one"

- and Ava like, "babe I think I kicked one of their asses in training"

- Wanda adores Ava, she thinks she's good for you and might as well have someone mentally stable in your life

- Meanwhile in Avas' mind, "omg omg her mom is Scarlet Witch, her dad is Vision - wait is that why she's so smart? Is my girlfriend a robot?"

- no you're not a robot

- Vision likes her, and he knew about you two before you two even started dating. Why? You rambled about White Tiger during dinner once and Vision CLOCKED that look in your eyes

- needless to say, Sunday dinners with your family are now mandatory with Ava

[deathmetalunicorn1]

I finally got to have my request! I waited 3 asks 😭😭

The RoR react to reader, who are known as the Queen of the Kings and have all 3; brawn, brain, and beauty. Reader have the personality of a ball of sunshine but also won't hestitate to put anyone in their places. Turns out she earned the titles Queen of the Kings because she puts a lot of monarch/leaders, especially male ones, in their place when they get cocky and also have a lot of them falling for her.

Qin Shi Huang, Buddha, Poseidon, Hades, Odin, and Thor, and romantic please!

-There were many queens throughout history, but none more notable than you, as you held many titles, with your most well-known one being Queen of the Kings.

-You were a sole ruler, inheriting the throne from your parents, and while many suitors tried to come for your hand, to become king by your side, including threatening you, you never married- as you ruled expertly on your own.

-Your kingdom never knew war, never knew famine or hardships under your rule, as you made it mandatory that all citizens, no matter the class, should have access to food, housing, jobs, and medical treatment.

-Your people loved you, as they all praised your wonderous rule, so much so that other people from other kingdoms moved to yours, as yours was so wealthy but also so happy.

-This made the kings nearby, whom you refused to marry, quite angry, seeing how well you were doing and how well liked you were.

-Many came, demanding their subjects back, but you argued back that they were free to choose where they lived. Not liking your sass, the four visiting kings tried to attack you, to put you into their place in front of their guards and the nobles from all five kingdoms.

-Armed only with your slipper, you quickly had all four kings on their knees, begging you for mercy. Seeing that you got all four of the kings, many who had been in wars before, begging you for mercy, scared of you and your slipper, they quickly lost their credibility.

-However, you weren’t cruel, giving them mercy and in turn, you offered your assistance, showing them how you ruled, so they could take it to their own kingdoms, so they would have a thriving kingdom as well.

-You weren’t to be underestimated, as you were a trained warrior yourself, but you always chose the peaceful route first, and you only resorted to violence if you had to, and those who opposed you quickly learned this.

-In Valhalla, you were still regarded as a queen and many respected you because you still ruled as you did on earth, with gentle kindness and threats of your slipper.

-You met many unique humans and gods in Valhalla, ones that you would gladly call friends, and you also found the only man that managed to capture your heart, (Love).

-He treated you like a queen, despite being a ruler himself, but to see him treating you as an equal, while those in your past wanted to undermine your power, it was refreshing, and you came to adore him.

-He learned of your past battles, including the one where you put those four kings in their place, something (Love) thought was hysterical, learning of these so-called powerful kings being put in their place, four on one, with you being the victor with your slipper.

-He thought it was just a story people told to get their children to behave, as a lot of people used slippers to keep their kids in line.

-That was, until a bold king, one who only ruled for a short while, less than a month, before being overthrown for being such a crappy leader, approached you while you were waiting for (Love), demanding you, not asking you, to go on a date with him.

-When you refused, he grabbed your arm, trying to threaten you. Those around you quickly took several steps back, afraid, getting out of the swinging zone.

-(Love) saw this boy grab you and he immediately came over, but he froze in his tracks, seeing you immediately slapping his hand off of you while removing a slipper and you bitch slapped him right across the face with it, sending him to the ground.

-Your glared darkly down at him, “Don’t grab when you don’t get your way, boy.” He was stammering, holding his cheek, begging you not to hit him again as you threatened to, to teach him a lesson.

-(Love) approached and the boy immediately ran off, terrified of you.

-Offered to go after him for you, which you brushed off, “No need- he learned his lesson.” As you said this you held onto his arm, putting your slipper back on before he bent, pecking your cheek in greeting before offering you an arm, “If he’s bold enough to try again, you may do as you wish.” You pretended not to see the grin on his face, looking excited before he whisked you away.

            -Buddha, Hades, and QSH

-Had his weapon at the ready, “He put his hands on you- he needs to learn a harsher lesson.” You grabbed onto his arm, steadying yourself while you put your shoe back on, “And you can teach him one if he tries to approach me again. It’s not the first time a young one approached me like that, and it won’t be the last.” A dark aura surrounded your lover as he glared, fully ready to make some head roll, hearing how you had been treated. It seems he needs to stay by your side more, to protect you, and to throw hands for you.

-Poseidon, Odin, and Thor

[scaryspears]

Asgardians project on Loki

Asgardians are jealous of Loki. The reason Loki is so belittled and gaslighted is because people like to use him, but also in order to keep gaining favours from him, they need to keep him needy of their praise and blah blah blah. I think a lot of us know how it works, so I won't explain that. On the other hand, Loki has something they don't, which is what makes him 'untrustworthy'. Loki is adaptable, curious and dedicated, as well as other amazing traits.

Loki is "burdened with a glorious purpose". He has a bright star, and people who do not have a bright star as well tend to see that star, and want to dim it. (Yes, I believe there's a spiritual side to it.)

Loki can easily acknowledge (and has) that he's jealous of Thor, but when others call him jealous they are projecting. They especially do this when Loki outwits them. They don't even have to be jealous of Loki, they must've had their ego bruised by him in one way or another.

Sif is close to Thor, but she would never be able to surpass Loki's level of closeness, which sucks, because Loki and Thor barely have any similarities. Why is Thor so insistent on attaching Loki to his side? Thor doesn't need Loki. Thor shouldn't want Loki. Sif and Loki mirror each other. Sif is a warrior lady, most likely with a mission to bring greatness back in the name of female warriors, considering the fiasco of Hela and the Valkyries. Loki is a practisioner of magic, which is seen as feminine, and can battle without magic efficiently, as is expected of a prince. Loki can go both ways, but Sif would never be able to do such a thing.

Hogun is that non-white friend in an all white friend group who's willing to forget and disregard his own ethnic background for those white friends. Excluding the whole Jotun Loki thing, Loki and Thor are both mix-raised, seeing as Frigga is from Vanaheim (according to fandom anyways). Loki clearly inherited a lot of Vanaheimian(?) traits, including the black hair, despite having an Asgardian king for a father. If Loki behaves like a Vanaheimian despite having an Asgardian upbringing, how would Asgardians perceive Hogun? Hogun is threatened by Loki and is determined to drive him out of the friend group. On the other hand of this halfblood envy, Loki makes Hogun feel ashamed. A half Asgardian managed to out-Vanaheim the full blooded Vanaheimian.

Fandral and Volstagg? I don't know, I don't care about them. Maybe Volstagg isn't a very smart person and is jealous of Loki's wit, whereas Fandral is an enabler who's there to be a soft blow. He's a reassurance to Loki's insecurity. He's nice so Loki would think "hey, at least there's one person that's okay with me" and still hangs out with them so that they can benefit from him.

I can imagine Loki has quite the reputation. And when you have a reputation, people talk. Loki is intelligent, diplomatic and pretty much has the significant traits of both Odin and Frigga. Loki is hard working, and tries different things. He's a problem solver, and adapts well to cold weather. I could see Thor views this as Loki outshining him, which is why he could never understand how Loki believed he was in Thor's shadow. Thor thought that Loki was better than him, and suspected that maybe Loki knew it too, and made sure to remind Loki which son was in charge. Which son truly had favour. Which son really mattered. Thor cares for and loves Loki, but is also jealous of how much skill and significance Loki has, even though that skill is a result of Loki's determination, trial and errors. Loki was able to butter people up with his silver tongue, but Thor put people on edge with his loudness and forwardness.

Edit: There are more reasons I can come up with for Thor to be jealous of Loki. First off, Thor felt the only significance he had as the son of Odin was that he was the first born. That's the only relevancy he has. Personality wise, he's the typical Asgardian warrior, with the brashness, light hair and being ready for battle. Loki, on the other hand, has many amazing feats, and stands out. Thor would most likely (or is expected to) become a copy paste of Odin, whereas Loki has an identity of his own. Loki can become whatever he wants, and be whoever he wants outside royalty. Thor's destiny is to be the king and remain stagnant.

What makes it worse is that being a male mage is frowned upon for sexist reasons, but Loki ultimately gets away with it. Being the 2nd prince may play a huge factor, but you'd think that Odin would try to put a stop to that. If he did, he wasn't successful, because Loki's a known seidr practitioner to all of Asgard. I don't think Thor would've been allowed, perhaps heavily discouraged from it.

Frigga is a warbride (according to fandom again), and possibly has stockholm syndrome. I guess she's jealous of Loki's freedom. Loki is technically Odin's servant, and one who can easily gain freedom by leaving the family. Thing is, he's a great employee, and they don't want to lose him. He needs to be convinced that he has no one, and has no other opportunities. She loves Loki, but is willing to have him suffer like she does. She needs someone to be trapped with her. She needs that company. She is unknowingly working as Odin's puppet as she does this, because she herself cannot leave.

Heimdall's all seeing eyes can't spot Loki, and that gets on his nerves. This guy doesn't understand that some people find it creepy to be watched, so he can only assume that Loki is up to something. He must be! Why is he hiding himself before stepping into the shower? Why is he hiding himself as he sleeps?

Odin??? I'm not sure. Every abusive, narcissistic parent is envious of their child about something. Sometimes that envy is over nothing. Odin makes declarations of peace, but Loki is the true embodiment of that (ignoring Thor Ragnarok). Odin looked for trouble, but Loki does anything in his power to make it a last resort.

Odin obviously saw Loki as lesser. To have that lesser become the person Odin claimed to be must be a giant bruise to his ego.

[theefloraknight]

You know, I personally like to hc that Loki was always trying to veer Thor off the path of reckless war and genocide. I mean, I doubt he cared about the Jotun (you know, before he found out he was one and went on a journey to find out they are in fact, you know, people in a universe where the fact he was Jotun was actually explored, as it should've been) but more of a "there's no need for unnecessary war that's going to affect the Asgardians or the other realms." Like I've mentioned before, I don't think Loki's immune to caring about other people dying. I think he's sympathetic, but also desensitized because he grew up on Asgard, where people presumably died from war often. I mean, even in Avengers, when Thor tells him to look at what he's done, he's crying. He clearly cares that he wrecked these people's homes and lives. However, in the event that he did go on a journey to heal from his internalized racism, the fact that he's not the emotionless, cruel person a lot of people seem to think he is would make the moment all the more impactful when he realizes he wasn't killing monsters(including the monster in himself) but actual, real life people. I also think there's one of two ways the aftermath to this event could play out.

1. Loki realizes the "monsters" aren't actually monsters but people, and realizes that there's a possibility being Jotun doesn't automatically mean he's a monster.

2. Loki realizes that he wasn't killing monsters but people, and instead doubles down on the fact that he believes that he's the real monster.

I think it would mostly be number 2 though, considering his hatred of himself and incredibly low self esteem. But either way, the moment would probably have to come from a period between 2013-2018, because he'd be ruling as Odin and would have time to come to this conclusion. Maybe someone from one of the other realms comes to him in attempts to educate on how the fact the Jotun aren't monsters but people( because I feel like just because Asgard believes it, doesn't mean the other realms do. Maybe having imperial rule imposed on you for over a thousand years causes you to doubt anything the colonizer says). Maybe he decides to give back the Casket. But however he reaches this conclusion, I feel like this would be an actual progression from his original character arc because in reality, Loki wasn't always the cruel conqueror that he was in Avengers(that was due more to Thanos' torture and the influence of the Mind Stone) nor was he always the genocidal king he was in Thor 1(the actual genocide attempt was only tried after he was having what very clearly appeared to be a psychotic break and identity crisis and when he realized that it might be the only way to get Odins love by destroying their biggest enemy). For the most part, before the aforementioned events above, he was mostly just the prince trying to survive in a society that was not made for someone like him, as well as a prince who never outright punished people who demeaned him. Having him "redeemed" by helping the Avengers or something wouldn't really do much for his arc when Jotunheim, a very big plot point, is the only place Loki's apologies are really needed, because that was something he himself was responsible for. Those actions, no matter how they came to be, were his own. Besides, it would make for a very interesting story to have Loki actually explore and learn about all of himself, especially considering the fact it was something that was robbed of him by Odin since he kidnapped him and brought him to Asgard.

[hornymotionalcookie]

Here to do my part to fill Sam's tag with Sam centric content

Thinking about Sam's worth and him deserving the shield, the mantle, the cheering on by being the good man that he is, I membered another discord exclusive I wrote that tagged onto @thatmexisaurusrex ship of Sarah Wilson and Brunnhilde/Valkyrie, affectionately dubbed Ocean King (aka Poseidon), almost 3yrs ago now. So I went digging to share, maybe I'll eventually polish it up fer ao3. As is, it's unbeta'd.

Sam found himself sat upon the deck of his parent’s boat, his and Sarah’s boat now. It’d been a day and he'd snuck off from the packed reception spilling through his family home, their backyard, the driveway, the porch – every space occupied by community and villagers from New Asgard coming together to celebrate Sarah’s and Hilde’s marriage.

Delacroix had once again shown up and shown out, bringing a feast that could easily feed an army twice over and spent the day tending the food and their guests so that Sarah and Hilde could focus on each other more than the hosting duties. It was a damn good day and he was stuffed, exhausted and so deliriously happy for his baby sister. Even now, he couldn’t fight the smile that rode his face all day seeing Sarah honored and adored as Hilde said her ‘I Dos’, vowing to protect their newly joined family (she’d turned in kind to each AJ & Cass, her loving smile growing at becoming Sarah’s partner in parenting), their homes and Sarah’s heart. As Sarah spoke her own heartfelt words, there was a battle between tear-streaks and cheek-stretching smiles but two displays of joy agreed to share the space on his face for the day.

Sam sat, sipping at one of the hidden brews in the boat's cooler, shaking his head at the goodness that could still exist in their world and was therefore caught entirely off-guard by the appearance of one very large, very loud, golden-haired guest.

“Son of Will! There you are! It is most good to see you on such a momentous occasion!”

After Sam swallowed the beer he’d almost choked on in his shock, he sputtered a laugh, strained voice greeting his visitor, “Good to see you, too, Thor. Thank you for the near-heart attack." He motions Thor over grabbing another beer and handing it to him as he got settled on the deck next to Sam. "How goes space travels with the new crew?”

“It has been an interesting task to navigate from a secondary position… for Quill. Me, I’m used to guiding the stars and space. But it is interesting to have a strong-willed second, although challenging. Well, not challenging, nor difficult, really. It wouldn’t be a particularly fair fight if it were to come to that, but I’m pretty sure we’ve both come to an understanding now.” He flashes a shit-eating grin at Sam, some of his words in jest, some he fully means, Sam knows. Hilde talked at length about Thor’s competition with Quill as they traversed the galaxies in forms of bedtime stories for AJ & Cass. “How has it been adjusting to your new role, Captain?”

“You know, it’s been a journey, man. Everyday’s a new fight in terms of players, but the same struggle. It’s a lot, but when trying to do what’s right and navigating the rules set in place defining right from wrong, it’s a delicate balance that I’m never sure I come close to reaching by the day’s end. So, today, in this, with Sarah and Hilde undertaking this world and all its many obstacles together, it’s one of the best days I’ve had in a long time, to see what can happen when we let our differences unite us instead of divide us.”

“That was beautifully said, Son of Will. I suppose now, this makes us family, perhaps brothers-in-law as you Midgardians say.”

“I suppose it does, huh?” Sam laughed in turn.

They move the conversation on, conversing on leadership roles, the responsibility of holding positions of not just power, but influence and the pressure to do the best by your people. They relate to one another in their unique, opposite perspectives, recognizing the strength each possesses in taking on a mantle or stepping down from one, in being chosen to lead and in leaving one with great skills not in your stead, but in place to build and strengthen their people on their terms.

The conversation inevitably leads back to the day Steve left, “You really had no idea of his plans then, no inkling?”

Sam shook his head, lips stretched thin before launching into the story of the day, “Your hammer, Milton—“

“Mjolnir.”

“That’s what I had meant. Before Steve left, before he stepped on that platform and unbeknownst to some, chased his piece of happiness, he set it down to hug me and shake hands. I thought he was just being a big ole sap, like ‘You’re coming right back, what’s with all the touchy feely stuff, man?’ I remember laughing and slapping him on the shoulder, grabbing the hammer to hand it to him, not thinking, just wanting to see him off so we could all grab the big green guy to grab a bite.” Thor stifled a gasp, stilling as Sam continued relating the tale, a small smile on his face, “And I remember he gave me this funny smile when I did, right, almost like he was proud of me or something, ya know. I didn’t understand it then, that smile, and even after all I’ve gone through before I picked up the shield, something about it just stuck with me."

“You, Son of Will, are worthy.”

“Come again? Also, you can call me Sam, by the way.”

“You, Sam, Son of Will, are worthy. Mjolnir has an excellent sense of who to trust to wield its power—“

“We’re still talking about the hammer, right?”

“Indeed. And any capable of lifting it have a worth most high. I imagine Rogers smiled then because he already knew that you were the right man for the job and the ability to lift Mjolnir was just further confirmation of that fact. From personal experience, it is a great comfort to know for certain that who you choose will lead well, perhaps even better than you.

“In you, Rogers proved himself an excellent chooser in friends and judge of character. The latter is true of Milton – uh, I mean Mjolnir, as well as I. And you, Son of Will, Samuel, are more than worthy to lead the Avengers anew. In you, Midgard has gained another great leader.” Thor claps Sam on the back as he in turn is blinded by Sam’s megawatt smile in the setting sunlight left in the sky. Sam turns towards it and the light plays off of the shining bright brown of his eyes.

Thor’s hand slid to Sam’s shoulder, squeezing in affectionate camaraderie. As he watched the light in Sam’s amber eyes brighten with golden hues, he squeezed again in secret intrigue, and again in consideration at the firm muscle under his palm. Then memory came back to wreak pain on Thor and he dropped his arm from Sam’s person.

Sam turned to see the sadness envelop Thor and the resulting flinch in his face. The sudden sorrow reminds Sam of another giant, jolly blond he’d once flown with. He’d always be ready with a joke to break the tension, to bring tears of laughter instead of pain, but on bad days and losing more lives than they could save, Riley couldn’t give that same energy to himself. “Hey, you okay, man?”

Thor grimaced, “It is just for a moment, you reminded me of someone… someone close to me lost to Thanos’ cruelty he misrepresented as altruism.” Thor’s stare is directed towards the waters but is aimed inward, lost, as he relives Heimdall’s end at the hands of the Titan."

“Were you there when it happened?” Sam asks gently, recognizing the solemn moment they’ve arrived at.

Thor nods, voice soft, “Yes… and even with the powers I possess, I could not stop the moment from happening, could not save him like he’d done so many times for all of Asgard… for me. In all we’ve done since to restore the worlds, I could not bring back a very large part of mine.”

This time it is Sam reaching out a hand to rest on Thor’s shoulder, “I am so very sorry, Thor. To lose someone in that way… It never leaves you. ‘What If I had done this instead?’ or ‘What if I had done that instead?’ The millions of questions haunt you, I know. And all we can do is try to hold onto the smiles they gave us, the laughs, the joys, the love we shared and let it be our strength to get us through the inevitable rough day.”

Thor returns his gaze to Sam, seeing his own sorrow reflected back at him and chuckles despite the tenseness of the moment. “Again Son of Wil—“ Sam raises an eyebrow playfully. “Sam. You are a good man, a wise man. And though our sorrows stay with us, today is a day of joyous celebration.” He angles his head down the way towards the newlyweds that have snuck away from their guests to steal a moment’s sweetness to themselves.

“Happiness has taken ahold of our remaining loved ones again. Love anew is an occasion most deserving to be celebrated and I am so glad Hilde sent me word to share in it. It is an honor to share the joy of the day with her and her new Queen Sarah and the family and villages they’ve joined with their pledge. To share that and sit here with you, Sam Wilson, it is not only an honor, but a great pleasure.”

[writing-by-night]

Seven Days to Christmas Countdown: Day 3

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Natasha Romanov

Prompt: Natasha hasn’t had a proper Christmas since the tainted memories of Ohio. Bucky decides to give her the Christmas she deserves… with a few feelings coming to light

Word Count: 2.8k

Natasha Alianova Romanova is many things. A “feelings person” is far from one of them. A holiday person? Again, decidedly not. The only proper holidays she’s ever had were tainted with the fact that it was all fake, manipulated, in Ohio. Oh well, at least Yelena enjoyed them in the moment. And sometimes it had been nice. But then the next day she’d always remember – once the food was eaten and the presents were opened and pictures taken, it was all gone. 

In New York, her makeshift family has never noticed the fact that she rarely participates. Tony will celebrate with huge parties, but quietly give each of them a handmade gift. Hers is always a weapon. Bruce will make cookies he never says he makes but leave them out. He gives her oatmeal raisin ones, because she ate them once on a mission. She hates raisins. At least with Bruce if she said she didn’t like them he would just make her something different, but at this point eating cookies she hates is a tradition. Thor doesn’t do Christmas, he’s norse. He does Yule and burns a big log in the fireplace and tells stories and makes way too much food. At this point she likes Yule more than Christmas. Clint goes home to have Christmas with his family, and she goes for christmas morning and is back for christmas dinner with the team. Whatever that looks like. Steve, arguably the only practicing religious person among the original six(unless Thor counts? She’s not sure it counts if he’s already a god) gets a tree and goes to Christmas Eve Mass, returning with food chinese takeout. That’s a tradition between the two of them, partaken on his, more homey, floor of the tower. 

Then there’s the new side. Sam always goes to Louisiana but comes back with food and out of season King Cake for New Years. Wanda celebrates on January Seventh, she’s Orthodox Christian, given as she’s from eastern europe. Natasha tries to take the younger girl under her wing – they make food and spend that day together watching bad movies. Peter Parker, the other one she takes especial care of, she celebrates for his sake these days. He grew up in a multi-religious household – Jewish by his mother and then his Aunt, non-religious Father and Uncle gave him christmas. The kid loves Christmas and Hanukkah, and throws himself into it. Honestly he brings the team together more than anything. She’ll watch Home Alone as much as he likes and help him string popcorn, and then whenever Hanukkah falls they’ll make Latkes and play dreidel and light a Menorah. She learned to make Challah bread when he first came to the tower. 

But that was the thing. She didn’t do Christmas, it was the people around her. If she was being honest with herself, she never had really celebrated, in a way. At least not in a way she would count for herself

This year there’s a new addition. 

One James Buchanan Barnes, Sgt(rt.) US Army, former Winter Soldier, and the closest to a kind man she’d met for most of her life. 

And she likes him. 

She really likes him.

They talk, a lot. James is sharing a floor with Steve, but he spends a lot of time on hers. They order takeout that James hasn’t had a chance to try and sit on the living room floor(the couch feels too formal) and just talk. They’ll laugh about stories of little Steve or commiserate about their trauma. They talk about everything. She’s safe with him even though she feels like she shouldn’t be. 

It’s nothing against James, it’s a thing against men in general. She’s been hurt too much for that. But James is painfully respectful. He’s terrified to hurt anyone, and he saw firsthand in the Red Room where she gets her fear from. So, he gives her space. 

It’s not until almost six months after he arrives that she touches him.

He’s heading back to Steve’s for bed and she’s in ridiculous Black Widow pajama pants Tony got her and a sweatshirt that Peter gave her for Hanukkah last year. She’s not sure why, but she pulls him into a tight hug.

“Be safe.”

“I will be.” His voice is soft, and she loves it. Low, and rich. His arms are snug but not trapping, and he smells like leather and the spices he loves to bake with. 

“Yeah.”

She really is fucked. 

- 

Bucky watches a lot these days. In the forties, it would’ve felt easier. He was the social butterfly, always in the center of the crowd. But in this place, as whoever he is now.. he prefers to be watching. He notices all the same things as Natalia about the dynamics of the team.

Especially about her, how the redhead fits in. How she clearly isn’t a fan of the holidays but smiles through them, how she's hard to read and no one but Barton really sees her. He tries too, but he hasn’t known her for the two plus decades the archer has. Besides, it’s not a competition. She deserves people who care. 

He can see how she takes care of the two teens, letting them closer to her on movie nights than she lets anyone else. Wanda doesn’t like most of anyone after the raft. Especially the men. Half the time she sits more or less on Natalia’s lap, curled up. He doesn’t blame her. Sometimes she seeks him out, if Natalia is nearby. It means a lot. Peter is anxious and hides it in some ways by making it just seem chaotic. He clings to Stark and Natalia like liferafts. He speaks Yiddish fluently and can read Hebrew. 

It’s not until one of those late nights in Natalia’s apartment that he finds out why.

“I spent three years of my life on a mission in Ohio as a ‘normal’ suburban family,” she admits to him, taking a sip of the wine she’s drinking. “I was the only kid who knew it was all fake and I would love it and then as soon as it was over I’d go and cry because it wasn’t real. Traumatized the shit out of me with the emotional whiplash. I still hate the whole thing. Besides, I’m not really into the whole emotional thing.”

He pauses. “You celebrate with Wanda and Peter, though,” he points out, more as a question than anything

“Yeah.” She takes a long drink. “Just cause I’m fucked up doesn’t mean those kids have to be.” 

Bucky pauses. No one ever gives her credit for her heart. Then he shifts to be shoulder to shoulder with her, wrapping an arm around her waist timidly. “You’re too good for everyone here,” he mumbles.

“No, they’re too good for me.” She fidgets for a moment. “You know what I’ve done, James.”

She’s the only one to ever call him that, just like how only he calls her Natalia. It makes him shiver quietly, the way he does when she touches him. They knew each other years before they met freely. Those were the names. It’s quiet, but it says something about a bond the others don’t know too much about. Barton probably knows, he thinks. Steve does, too. 

“No,” he objects softly. “It’s you who is far too good for me.”

He’s in love with her. It’s three days later and he’s finally working it out after Natalia kissed his cheek before she left for a mission with Wanda to train in Wakanda. And he almost says I love you.

As he walks away from the bay where they left, Steve comes up behind him.

“So, you’re in love with her, right?”

Bucky whips around.

“Fuck- where did you- what? No!”

Stark is on the other side of him, rolling his eyes.

“Who are you kidding, Robo-man? You’ve been making moony eyes at her since you arrived. She invites you over. If I didn’t know better I’d guess you were fucking”

“Stark!”

“Tony!” 

“What?” Tony shrugs. “Look, go get her. She’s a catch and way too good for any of us. Go get her and treat her right.”

Bucky glares, but he honestly wishes he was brave enough

“And what? Chase her to Wakanda and get kicked in on my ass?”

“No, obviously not.” Stark’s been replaced by Barton. The man Natalia calls her brother from another mother. “You’re gonna prep something to surprise her when she gets home and tell her how you feel. Because between us,” he glares at Steve to make sure he shuts up, “she’s been trying to figure out if you feel the same. Which by the way, when she first got here she spent months terrified you’d be punished for her.”

Holy shit…

Natalia Romanov… likes him?

“She- she did?”

“Oh yeah. I say, make her a surprise of some sort you know she’ll like.”

“That she’ll like…” hm. He can do that. Maybe…

Over the next two days before Christmas Eve when he returns, he’s hard at work. Decorating Natalia’s apartment for the holiday. Not too over the top, but enough to start replacing some memories. There’s a tree now, lit and decorated, with some presents underneath. Toys for Liho, a few books, a film camera that made him think of her. And one of his sweatshirts, since she steals it at every opportunity. The kitchen has the makings for chocolate chip and sugar cookies, and he put a wreath on the door. Grabbed some Christmas CDs at the local thrift store for the old CD player she still insists on using – reminds her of the one her “ma” bought for her when she was a kid. Stark leaves some DVDs of christmas movies, and he insisted on funding the whole thing.

Actually, most of the residents have, in some way.

Pepper – the only one he really calls by first name since she just didn’t tell him her last one for a month – helps him find Natalia’s clothing sizes. Stark funds the whole thing and Stevie helps with the tree. Barton goes with him to add a few gifts – and brings from some his mysterious family. His wife labels a few from St. Nick, and contributes the ornaments and crafts the kids have made for their Auntie Nat over the years. 

Banner gives him some fancy tea, says to have it for when she gets home, she usually drinks it after missions.

-

And when Natasha gets home, she’s not greeted to the usual empty house she’s accustomed to. James is waiting for her by the fireplace, which is burning merrily, reading a book with Liho purring loudly in his lap. The whole place has been decorated – she assumed the wreath on the door was one of Stark’s efforts to make everyone’s doors fancy, but she has a tree, apparently, and it's been decorated, down to ornaments from her nieces and nephews. There’s gifts under it. Her tea is steeping.

“James?��

The man in question looks up, smiling a bit. It’s that smile, the one she can’t get enough of but hardly sees sometimes.

“Talia?” A nickname. She’s not sure she can- nope, there’s her pulse.

“What’s all this? Did you do this?”

That makes him chuckle as he stands up, Liho wandering off.

“Yeah, uh… Merry Christmas. I was thinking, um… we could make some new memories. Out with the old, in with the new, and all that”

“Isn’t that New Years?” She steps in further, looking around in wonder

“Maybe?” He scratches his head bashfully. “Sorry if it was-”

She moves then, until she’s standing close enough for him to be able to feel her breath on his neck. She’s not thinking, but for once she’s never been more sure of anything as she grabs his face with a hurried tenderness, kissing him soundly as she rises on tiptoe. “It’s not too much.”

“It’s- it’s not?” She seems to have short-circuited him, and he seems shell shocked, but his hands are automatically holding her waist. 

“No, James… no, it’s not.” Natasha looks up, examining his face. “Was… was this?”

He pauses, clearly assessing himself. Then his head shakes. 

“No, no this isn’t too much… just was scared you didn’t feel the same, doll.”

Doll. It’s such a sweet, old-fashioned nickname and it makes her smile stupidly

“How couldn’t I?”

“I don’t know,” he admits, blushing. “I guess I’ve made the point you’re way too good for me pretty damn well..”

“You have, or tried to anyways,” she laughs a bit, kissing his cheek. “Good for you, I’m not much of a listener.”

“And I love you for it.”

“I love you for it, too.”

“Shit, uh.. I totally just said that, didn’t I.”

That makes her laugh again, looping her arms around his neck. 

“Shut up and kiss me, will you?”

“If that’s what you want, Talia? I will until I can’t breathe and then some.”

The next morning, she wakes up in her bed, wrapped in strong arms. She panics for a moment, before she notices the scent and the way she’s being held. James is laying with her, face buried in her neck. And despite what Tony would probably tease about, they’re both fully clothed. Neither of them ready for that step yet, and that’s just fine. 

Was it all a dream? No, it can’t have been…

Silently, she slips out of his arms and pads out into the living room. It’s all like it was the night before, other than the fact that they put out the fire.

Shimmering tree, cookies they baked cooling on the counter, gifts waiting. 

Liho begs for breakfast as always, so she goes to oblige. Just as she’s finishing setting out the food, Bucky hugs her from behind, kissing her cheek.

“Good morning, my love,” he murmurs sweetly. She blushes instantly, melting into his arms. 

“Good morning, Detka((baby)),” she replies softly, reaching up a hand into her hair.

“Merry christmas,” he smiles, leaning down to leave a few sweet kisses on her neck. Oddly, its not possessive or sexual, it’s purely a sweet gesture that makes her giggle – giggle! – as he twirls her around. “C’mon, let’s open your gifts.”

“I feel bad,” she points out with a playful pout. “You don’t have any gifts”

“I think Stevie left a few for me down here. And anyway, I don’t like getting stuff, I wanted to treat my girl.” 

“Your girl?”

“If you want to be” he blushes as they stand their, holding her face gently 

“If you’ll be my man,” she smirks playfully, pecking his cheek

“I’d love to be,” he answers instantly, scooping her up and making her squeal as she’s carried to the living room and set down by the tree, wrapped in a blanket by the now warm fire as he hands her the first gift.

-

Just like he’d hoped, Natalia loves all her gifts, laughing carefreely and enjoying each one, blushing at the attention when he pulls her into his lap to hold her tight while she does, leaving loving kisses on every inch of available skin. He’s got a few – Wanda made a box of some sort of marshmallow fudge which is absurdly sweet and therefore amazing, hardcover copies of The Hobbit plus Lord of the Rings from Steve, and surprisingly a warm sweater from Barton’s wife, saying to come visit. And from Natasha a beautiful journal, which is instantly his most precious possession. 

The rest of the day is spent lazily curled together on the couch, Natalia resting on his chest while they watch movies and he braids her hair. She’s wearing the sweatshirt he gave her, and he has to admit he loves how she looks in his clothes. Okay, maybe he’s a bit possessive.

“Hey love?” He kisses her hair softly, hugging her a bit closer as they watch a Muppet version of Charles Dickens – played by either a crow or, um… a purple seagull? – explain the meaning of christmas to a very hungry rat with no sense of what’s happening.

“Yes, moy lyubov?((my love?))” She looks up and rolls over, tucking herself into his chest, smiling sleepily.

“Do.. are you okay with people knowing?”

“About us?”

“Yeah, um.” Bucky can’t fathom a world where she’d honestly want to be known to be dating someone like him. For one, the public still sees him as a War Criminal and the one who killed Howard Stark(technically, he’s both. Luckily, a good case was made of him being equally a victim. He has a feeling Stark Money helped, too)

“Baby..” she softens, and he’s bracing for a  rejection, when she kisses him sweetly. “I would shout it from the rooftops if you asked. I love you, James, more than anything in the world. I want everyone to know, if you’re comfortable with it”

He blushes softly. “I am, I want everyone to know I love you,” he admits softly.

“Then they all will”

[quitealotofsodapop]

Soooooo.... what if Wukong didn't always have stage fright? What if he ONLY started being afraid of large crowds watching him....

AFTER his rampage through Heaven and he was sentenced to death, trigrams furnace, lots of stabbing, and when nothing else worked 500 years under a mountain by a LARGE CROWD of angry gods.

Mac is more than a bit surprised to learn yhe boisterous, bold Monkey King was more than a little traumatized by the whole experience and maybe he needs some hugs....😈

Ooo thats a spicy idea >:3

My hc is that Wukong is good at bluffing and improvising - but the second there's a "script" to follow or something is expected of him, he just freezes. He can drunkenly retell his Havoc in Heaven to the Brotherhood with perfect comedic timing, but if he's asked to make a speech infront of his own army he stumbles. He'll def improv a troop raising call no problem, just don't expect him to keep any decorum.

And oh gosh, imagine that the modern stage reminds Wukong so much of the "trial" he endured in the Celestial Realm after the Havoc.

Hundreds of people he can barely see, many that want to hurt/kill him, reduced to his birthday suit (think the "you flicked too damn hard!" scene in Thor Love and Thunder), the location of his sworn siblings unknown, Mac's no where to be seen, and he just heard Lao Tzu say something about a furnace??

Wukong had the attention of All of Heaven on him. He never wants to endure that again.

At least with armies of angry soldiers, he can physically fight back and repel them. When his "audience" has him restrained or expected to remain calm, Wukong starts to panic. He feels like an chained animal. I'm surprised that he didn't have a more negative reaction during the talent show in Lantern City.

Macaque of course always knew Wukong was bad at scripted speeches, so he had been the one to whisper lines into his ears/hold up cue cards for him back in the day. Macque had always been the better actor. Just another way they were like Sun and Moon together.

But the first time he sees the great Sun Wukong get swarmed by paparazzi in the aftermath of a rough fight, and the king freezes and can't even speak? Mac jumps in and whisks him away via shadow portal.

Macaque: "You never used to lock-up like that... not even when I dragged you into my plays for the little monkeys." Wukong, slowly calming down: "I... it's just all the eyes on me... It reminds me of the trial... All those face just... watching me and talking about me like I'm some sort of animal..." Macaque, flooded with regret and remembering what Wukong said under the mountain: "Oh..." (a hug occurs) Macaque: "I'm... sorry I couldn't come to your rescue back then." Wukong, trying to deflect with humor: "Hey lets be fair - I doubt you could have taken on the entire Celestial justice system by yourself. A lot of what I said back then was cus my brain just got finished steaming." Macaque: "I could have tried." Wukong: "Then we would have shared that furnace. And we'd be two idiots chained beneath the mountain together." Macaque, small smile forming: "You speak as though that would be so terrible." Wukong, forgot how much natural rizz Mac has: "ah." (//∇//)

The two monkeys later find a simple solution to the problem. Lots of Wukong clones, all doing advertisments and public appearances. Small downside is now a few hair clones will hum advert jingles and get too ethusiastic at the mic.

Macaque: "...tell me, why were you using a cardboard Wukong if you could make temporary clones of yourself?" Wukong: "Sentimental value."

[galaxythreads]

Something that really annoys the fuck out of me, is that it takes Thor and Hela being mistreated by Odin for people to believe that Loki was abused (and then, like that anon, "Loki doesn't have a right to resent poor abused Thor, bleh bleh"). Everyone kept insisting it was something "horny fangirls made up" for the longest time and that he was "crying fake tears" or being a "spoiled ungrateful brat".

I've seen too many people defend Odin's treatment of Loki. And it ignores the inherent power imbalance between a foundling from another realm that Odin pillaged and a biological son. Yet people insist Loki's just making shit up in Thor 1.

I think that there's been a lot more discussion over recent years about abuse so people are more aware of how to spot it which definitely helps, but regardless It is extremely irritating that it takes Hela and Thor also being victims before people are suddenly jumping on the train. i don't know. it's just weird. The way MCU is written leaves it very ambiguous about Loki and Thor's past because you CAN interpret it as Odin at best being distant, emotionally neglectful, their family a dysfunctional mess, and then go all the way to the other end of the spectrum where it's different types of abuse (emotional neglect IS still abuse) like emotional or physical. Not that one is worse than the other (it is not a competition. Abuse is never a competition. You don't "win" the fight if you got hit) it's just different.

I don't know. When I look at Thor 1, honestly I can see an argument for Odin struggling to reach out to his kids and him and Frigga just failing them instead of maliciously failing them. I once read an amazing fic where Odin finds Loki in the bifrost instead of Thor and he's beyond distressed that things got this point. I love reading these fics! I love the fics where Odin is trying to be a good father. I love him being able to repair his relationship and form a healthy bond with his kids. It's just... not really, canon?

I just think there's so many ways to look at what Odin and Frigga did, especially when it comes down to Loki, but one thing that irritates me the most is that these two defenses are thrown around ALL the time when it comes to Odin and Frigga being good parents to him and they're not even true:

1 - "we don't know that Loki was kidnapped vs abandoned. I know there's a part of the deleted script of Thor 1 where Laufey says Loki was the abandoned runt (or something to that effect), but it wasn't filmed and it was cut for a reason."

2 - "We don't know if Frigga and Odin made any effort into trying to change Asgard's views on Jotuns and they were unsuccessful, or if they just didn't care. We don't understand enough about Asgard's political system or educational system to say one way or the other."

3 - "Odin said that he didn't intend to use Loki to be the king of Jotunheim anymore."

And like okay! I've seen this argued so many times, but when you think about it more, you realize that it doesn't matter. Odin and Frigga had a responsibility to let Loki know Jotuns weren't monsters. They didn't. We know that. The first thing Loki describes Jotuns as is "monsters." he sees them as expendable animals that can be killed to stop Thor's coronation. in 95% of canon (I am looking at you eyeball scene), Loki doesn't kill for fun. He sees it as a necessity. So the fact that he looked at the Jotuns and didn't even think twice about leading them to their deaths just showcases how little he thinks about their lives.

The inherit "othering" of the Jotuns is a massive, massive racism problem that, even IF odin and frigga couldn't fix the educational system, they had a duty to explain to Loki that he wasn't a monster and to love himself for his true identity, even if they never intended to tell him. They failed him immensely in that regard.

And on the first thing - regardless of whether or not Loki was abandoned or kidnapped, Loki's first thought upon hearing that was not "i'm the prince of a different kingdom" it was "Odin took me for political purposes" and he was right.

And even IF odin was telling the truth and he dismissed those plans because he loved Loki more than his initial ambitions with him, why did he keep lying about it? And then we circle back to the second point:

look at me.

look at me.

Loki wasn't different. He wasn't. Loki as a Jotun wouldn't have been different from the Asgardians except visually and maybe some minor biological things, and that shouldn't have mattered. Because your visual appearance SHOULD NEVER be more important than who you are inside. The body is always a vessel for the brain.

Did they not tell him so he wouldn't have to face the racism? Because that's not a healthy way to deal with it and it was inevitable that he would learn eventually and they didn't prepare him to deal with that. They should have told him and then helped him build up his self-confidence to the point that MOST of the racist things wouldn't have bothered him, or he had someone to talk to when they did. If they gave Loki a support system for dealing with this rather than just trying to isolate it, Loki would have a much better viewpoint on himself.

anyway, sorry. my point with this long rant is that I believe loki. I believe when he said he was abused and hurt, regardless of whatever circles people can walk in that "justify" everything that Odin and Frigga did because at the end of the day Loki was still traumatized and hurt by what happened and he has the right to say that, heal, and move on. If Odin and Frigga want to change and repair their relationship with him into something healthy - amazing, good for them.

[yesbutmakeitgay]

Once Upon A Time I Used To Know A Girl

Chapter 3

Carol Danvers x Reader

Masterlist | This work's masterlist | AO3

Summary: Kamala resorts to an old friend of yours for help, things are more complicated than expected.

Angst, Slow Burn, Amnesia.

Word count: 1086

Emergency Contact

Every day that week feels about the same, Kamala takes you to an empty conference room and asks you questions almost as if it was an interrogation. By the end you have had enough of it, "I’m sorry, officer, can you put me under arrest already?"

The girl looks up from her tablet. "What, no! Although Fury did say you’re not allowed to leave the compound," she says with a nervous smile. "Listen," she notices your antsy state, "I know that this is probably very uncomfortable for you, you’ve just been through a lot and I can’t imagine what it must be like,"

"I’ll say," you murmur under your breath.

"But I know you, even if you don’t remember me, I want to help you because I care about you." The amount of sincerity in her eyes is undeniable.

You take a deep breath, "Alright."

"Let's go through some questions to assess the state of your memory," she continues, "what day is it?"

"I don't fucking know."

"Place of birth?"

"You don't need to know that."

"I already know, it's on the tablet- date of birth?"

"Do you at least have any more pertinent questions?" you say, crossing your arms.

"Okay," she takes it as a challenge, "who's the King of Asgard?"

"Thor," you answer, as if it was obvious. Kamala remains silent, maintaining eye contact, "He's not?" you ask, puzzled.

"It was a trick question, it is now known as New Asgard and it is ruled by King Valkyrie." Her tone is smug.

"King Valkyrie, as in Val? How did that happen?"

"It's a long story- wait, you know her?"

"Yes," you respond with confidence.

"Will you talk to her?" There's excitement in her voice.

"Sure," you say, hoping to finally see a familiar face. Kamala starts to run out of the room when your voice stops her in her tracks, "I’m not doing one of those intergalactic calls, they say they're encrypted, but I know they're not! Bring me the real thing and I'll speak with her."

Kamala goes to a separate room to call King Valkyrie, news about the ambush had spread all over the universe but your state wasn't exactly public information so she takes the time to explain what happened.

"Wait, how long ago was Paris?" The King inquires, Kamala shows her the device with the mission information, "We hadn't met then." There's a frown on Valkyrie's face.

"So you met when you were already King?" The girl asks, finding the timeline difficult to follow.

"No, before that, but not 'Paris' long ago, she also mentioned Belova? She didn’t join the team until recently."

"And Monica. She said something about a house in Louisiana, too," she says, looking into the distance.

"That could be a different house," The King responds, emphasizing the word 'could'.

"You think so?" Kamala asks, unsure.

"I hope so."

"Well she seemed kind of happy to talk to you, will you do it?" she requests, pleading with her eyes.

"I don't know, little Marv, there's something strange going on with her, you should speak with Carol." Her voice is full of kindness and concern.

Kamala sighs, "Carol isn't speaking with anyone at the moment."

"I see, do you know where she is?" The King seems extremely level headed for the situation she's witnessing.

"'Home,' she said." Kamala repeats The Captain’s words.

"I'll give her a call, then," Valkyrie says with a sad smile.

Kamala goes back to the conference room but when she doesn't find you, she goes to your room. "So it seems King Valkyrie will not be able to come talk for a while," she says with disappointment.

"Aw bummer, I was beginning to think I would get to go home soon." She can't tell if you're being sarcastic and neither can you.

"Tell me about this home of yours." Her voice trying to sound nonchalant.

"It's a quaint little home, big yard, beautiful porch."

Kamala is trying to hide how she's freaking out inside, hearing an exact description of the home you used to share with Carol, "Anything else?" She puts on her best poker face.

"It's got four walls and a roof." It comes out a little aggressive, you don't know what she's getting at.

"Right, okay, I'll see you tomorrow." She leaves as quickly as possible.

You feel a little bad about it, maybe you were too harsh to her, but this whole situation is making you start to lose the little mind you have left and sarcasm is the best way you know to deal with it.

You wake up in a dark room, a couple of men in black, full-body armor holding you down to a metal table as a third one injects something into your neck, you try to fight it but your eyes begin to close again.

When you come back to your senses you’re in the compound. You jolt up confused and frustrated by what you saw and decide to call Kamala.

"This is Kamala Khan," she picks up a lot faster than you expected. You become paralyzed on the other end of the line, you can feel the neurons in your brain trying to connect unsuccessfully, "Hello?" she insists.

"Kamala Khan of Jersey City," your voice is barely audible. The girl gasps with excitement and tells you she's on her way, the reason why you called all but forgotten.

You both sit on your provisional bed trying to work out what you remembered. "You're Kamala Khan of Jersey City, I know you," you say, almost giving yourself a headache from how hard you're thinking.

"Yeah, you do!" There’s a big smile on her face.

"How do I know you?" You begin to share her excitement.

"We've worked together," she responds carefully, not wanting to say something she's not allowed to.

"What have we worked together on?"

Kamala thinks for a moment, "We stopped an evil lady from destroying several planets."

Your brain is overheating at this point, "Which planets?"

"Tarnax, Earth, Aladna-"

"Aladna! I know Aladna, lot of water." Kamala hums in agreement, "They sing and dance, Prince Yan!" Kamala seems captivated by your process, "Very handsome guy," you add.

"Anything else you might remember about him?" There's hope in her voice, you shake your head, "He got married some time ago."

"He did? I don't know anything about that."

"Hmm, okay," she says, disappointed.

"Did he get married to me?" Your voice panicked.

"No, no, no! Let's move on from that." Relief washes over you.

Chapter 4

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