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doberbutts · 1 year

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@corvus--caurinus

Yup! Per my neurologist, before the mid/late 00s the medical community was sort of, uh, unconcerned about so-called "minor" concussions, because the symptoms didn't seem to last longer than a few seconds and thus it was treated as a non-issue. Most parents didn't take their kids to the doctor for them and the few who did were told to let the kid rest for a day and then get back to life as normal.

Then a breakthrough study happened and revealed there is no such thing as a "mild" concussion. All concussions are concussions and all concussions are brain injuries. And all concussions run an exponentially higher risk of increasingly dangerous and life-affecting symptoms as you knock your brain around more and more. And with each subsequent concussion, you run the serious risk of these symptoms becoming permenant brain damage. Turns out, your brain does not actually like to be jumbled around in there, who knew.

The white flash is usually caused by one of two things: a jarring motion in your retinas (not a concussion) or the impact of your brain banging against the fluids and other matter inside of your skull (that's a concussion). Same if you "see stars"- the "stars" are the damaged nerves that just banged into something firing off electrical impulses trying to figure out how to cope with what just happened. And of course if you hit your head or are shaken to the point of losing consciousness, that's your brain's equivilant of the computer that, when smacked, turns itself off. All of these are concussions, and while it may seem like knocking yourself out should result in a worse concussion than just seeing stars, brains don't always follow that rule. All of these concussions will eventually stack on top of each other and will cause a major TBI once you hit your head a little too hard or perhaps even just one too many times.

So when he said "okay so you were never *treated* for a concussion but have you ever had this happen after hitting your head?" well... yes, actually. I was hit in the head by a thrown baseball bat (accidentally) in gym class and promptly took a nap. I was awake and otherwise fine in a few minutes so besides being sent home that day and having a large bruise/egg nothing really happened. I was doing flips on the gymnastic bars and lost my grip and whacked my head against the ground and, you guessed it, was unconscious. By the time my friends got the recess teacher over I was already awake and just a little dazed- again they sent me home but that's it. I fell through one of those dome monkey bars at a playground with my mom and hit the ground head/neck first. This was before the age of cell phones so Mom told me she was trying to figure out what to do about her very unresponsive child in the middle of the park (it's dangerous to move someone who may have broken their back/neck but she also can't just leave me laying on the ground to knock on someone's door to call 911) when I woke up and outside of a stiff neck seemed "quiet but fine".

In fairness according to my neuro there's not really much a doctor *could* have done medically as I bounced back without any problems except maybe have me take it easy for a couple weeks (I'd've died of boredom with no stimulation) but it still should have been noted that each of those were concussions. Then the amount of times that I've been dazed or saw lights... too many to count. I work with high energy dogs in an impact sport, they headbutt me or punch me or knock me to the ground all the time. I was an active kid and an athlete prior to my heart acting up, so sport-related injuries just sort of come with the package and that includes knocks on the head.

But sitting in his office and hearing him say that, and then recovering from the TBI and examining what it's done to my life... it made me realize how much people take for granted. It just takes one too many knocks on the head. He said the major thing he regrets as an older neurologist is that for a very long time, most of his practicing career and certainly a significant portion of my own life, no one really cared about concussions. But the line between concussion and TBI is very blurred, because in truth a concussion *is* a brain injury, and at some point you will concuss yourself much much worse than you were expecting due to the buildup of damage from not taking hitting your head seriously.

The best way to think of it is breaking your ankle. A broken ankle is a broken ankle, there's no such thing as a "mild" broken ankle. But there are grades of severity- a hairline fracture on a single bone is a broken ankle, but recovery time and process are relatively straightforward in most cases. Completely shattering multiple bones on the other hand significantly lengthens recovery time and the process is significantly more involved with a risk of further complications. If you keep doing whatever it is that gave you a hairline fracture, one day you won't be so lucky, and you will completely shatter the whole joint assembley.

That's how concussions are. Those cute little knocks that cause a white flash and nothing else? That's a warning to stop doing that and be more careful. You get to hobble around in a boot for a while to think about your choices leading up to this point. Knocking yourself out? Well you've snapped a bone. You get a cast and some crutches. Full blown TBI? Congrats, the whole ankle is fucked and you need major surgery now.

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kelcemenow · 1 year

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Hey Daddy.

Pairing Travis Kelce x Reader

Words 3381

Warnings Some strong language and mentions of miscarriage, blood, losing a family member. There's a bit of angst and lots of fluff though!

Another Anon request! This is my first Dad Travis/pregnancy related fic. As someone who has never been pregnant and doesn't plan on it in the future, I've avoided writing this sort of thing. But this is why I love getting requests as it brought me out of my comfort zone and I really enjoyed doing it! So, thank you Anon for making me branch out into a different style! "Can I request some dad Travis/pregnant reader? Travis has to travel for an away game and his wife (reader) is 9 months pregnant who has to stay home - unable to travel due to being so close to giving birth. She gets very anxious lately whenever Travis has to leave because she can go into labor any day now. Game day is here and the reader is not feeling well at all. She's curled up on the couch with a blanket and some tea, to watch the game. During the game, the reader's water breaks and she goes into labor. Travis' mom is in touch with her. Travis' mom notifies the team staff what's going on... and then they notify Travis during the game."

"Baby, I miss you." Travis' warm voice made you melt as you held the phone close to your ear.

"You only left this morning!" You giggled as you clutched at the blanket and pulled it up to your chest, "You can't miss me already?"

"Yes I can! Are you saying you don't miss me when I leave?"

"Of course I do, Travis." You winced slightly as you shifted on the sofa.

Travis heard your slight noise of discomfort, "What? Are you okay? What's wrong?" He immediately sounded concerned.

"Relax, baby. I've just got cramp. I'm fine."

You heard him sigh in relief, "Man, I hate leaving you. I hate leaving you anyway, but you're sick and you know...ready to burst."

"Not long until the little guy is here." You gently rubbed your swelling stomach.

The Chiefs had a game in Dallas against the Cowboys and Travis had travelled to the game alone for the first time since you had been together. You only had 2 weeks left until your due date and luckily, Travis had had a bye week and two home games in a row, meaning he was around to take care of you. You hadn't been feeling 100% for the past few days however, meaning he was more worried, especially as he was about to be 500 miles away from you. You tried to keep him calm, reminding him that it was only an hour's flight home and he would be back before he knew it.

"Well, try to keep him in there until I'm home."

You laughed, "I don't think I'll have much of a say!"

Travis hummed into his phone, "And remember, you can call my Mom at any time."

You snickered slightly, "Travis, I'm fine. I'll be here on the couch with my snacks and my herbal tea, watching you kill it."

Travis sighed again, "Okay, okay. Baby, I gotta go. But please, take care until I get back, alright?"

"Alright. I love you, Travis."

"I love you, Y/N."

You hung up the phone and reached for your ginger tea, sipping it gently, the hot steam tickling your cheeks. A strong stab shot through your lower back again, causing you to stretch your chest upwards in an attempt to relieve any pressure. You had been having these pains for most of the afternoon but you didn't want to worry Travis. You picked up your phone from the arm of the sofa and texted Travis' Mom, Donna.

"I've had a few more of those pains, but I don't know how much more ginger tea I can have. I'm running the the bathroom every two minutes!"

Donna must have had her phone in her hand as they three grey dots appeared almost immedately.

"Just wait till you're at my age, sweetie!"

You smiled at her message, pulling the bowl of nacho chips onto your lap, enjoying the pre-game interviews. Your eyes danced across the room, cards from friends and family wishing you well for your pregnancy dotted around the surfaces. A brand new crib was located near the window, a bright blue bow secured on top; a gift from Travis' brother Jason and his wife Kylie. Your heart fluttered as thoughts of you and Travis becoming parents filled your mind. He was fantastic with his three nieces and they adored him just as much as he did them. You picked up your cup of tea, but as you brought it to your lips, you felt your bladder sting, groaning as you lifted yourself up for another trip to the bathroom.

By the second half of the game, you were out of chips and the Chiefs were down by 7 points. You grumbled to yourself with the dull ache that was radiating across your back and stomach. Gripping onto the blanket you opened your latest message from Donna.

"Keep up with those breathing exercises, honey. Have you got the birthing ball?"

Your eyes scanned over to the large, blue gym ball in the corner of the lounge. You knew that it would help with your pains but just the idea of getting up from the sofa was enough to tire you out.

"Yeah I have. I'll get on it now. I could really do with a Momma Kelce hug, that would make me feel better!"

"You only have one week to wait and you can have all of the Momma Kelce hugs you want!"

You smiled as you put your phone back down and slowly rose to your feet, one hand lightly supporting your large bump. As you settled down on the ball in front of the TV, the third quarter was beginning. You gently bounced, breathing deeply and feeling some of the pain release before your core tightened again.

Travis' face flashed up onto the screen as he was settling into position for the first play of the quarter and you smiled, feeling an immense combination of love, pride and respect. Your relationship had developed over a few years, through your friendship with his teammate Eric Fisher and his wife Elizabeth. When Travis was drafted to the Chiefs, he was invited to numerous parties, dinners and barbeques that you had attended and a close friendship blossomed. Travis eventually asked to take you out on a date and you agreed, with a little persuasion from Elizabeth and Eric. He was kind, caring and attentive to you, with staunch manners and an incredible sense of humour. He made you laugh, made you feel safe and always put you first when he could. The two of you had married after 4 years surrounded by your family and friends and it was truly the happiest day of your life. You couldn't believe how lucky you were, staring up at the handsome man who was promising the rest of his life to you. It was a mutual decision to start trying to have children, and you got to work almost immediately after the wedding.

When you found out that you were pregnant, Travis was overjoyed, choking up as he kissed you repeatedly, crying "Thank you" into your lips. You prepared the house for your new arrival, painting the nursery and spending your Monday nights building new furniture. Everything was falling into place until during your second trimester, you suffered a miscarriage. You had been putting some groceries away when you felt a strange sting deep in your abdomen. You grabbed onto the kitchen counter and doubled over, clutching your stomach with your other hand. You breathed through the intense pain and when Travis walked through the door, he rushed to your side. Picking you up and moving you to the sofa, his face turned white when he saw the trail of blood that ran behind you and he quickly drove you to the hospital.

The next few months were numbing. You felt that you had let Travis down, that it was your fault that you had lost his first child. He insisted every day that you had done nothing wrong and stuck to your side as you grieved.

Just as you were beginning to heal, life threw you another cruel blow. You had invited your Mom for coffee and you knew something was wrong with her. She was quiet and fidgeting so you pushed for answers. You wished you hadn't as it was then when she explained that she had found a lump in her breast and was awaiting for the results from the Doctor. Only days after you saw her, she was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and she passed away soon after. Coming from a single parent household, you and your Mom were extremely close. She was your rock and was elated on your wedding day, constantly telling Travis how happy she was for the pair of you. You had felt like your life was falling apart around you but the one constant support you had was Travis. He would hold you close as you cried yourself to sleep. He would stay with you when you were too drained to leave the house. He took a year off of football to help you and to care for you. You were undeniably grateful to him and when you fell pregnant again, he was reasonably cautious. Reading baby books, attending lamaze classes with you and checking up with you every hour when he wasn't with you. His attentiveness made your heart burst with love, seeing a glimpse of his parenthood skills.

Your attention was brought back to the screen when you heard the commentators begin to raise their voices. Travis was sprinting down the field, the football safely cradled in his arm.

You sat up further, clenching your thigh muscles, "Go on, baby! Come on, keep going! Go!"

Travis made the touchdown with ease, dropping the ball as he raised his hands to the sky, blowing a kiss in your honour, as he always did. You clapped your hands and shouted with happiness until you felt a sudden wetness release in your sweatpants. You stopped, slowly standing up from the gym ball. Feeling the smooth texture with your fingers, you looked down with an initial sense of panic. The liquid was clear and you froze on the spot. Your water had broke.

You immediate reaction was to call Donna.

"Hey honey!" Donna sang down the phone.

"Uhh Donna, I think the baby is coming." Your voice was panicked.

"What?"

"I was cheering for Trav and my water broke."

"Oh shit. Okay, stay calm, relax, I'm gonna call Travis' team staff. Have you called the hospital?"

You paused, "Umm...no. I called you straight away."

"Okay. Call the hospital straight away."

You swallowed hard, "Donna, he's not supposed to come for another 2 weeks."

"I know, it's okay though."

"I'm scared. I'm on my own and I'm scared."

Donna sighed, "I know you are, but trust me, everything is going to be fine."

You nodded your head against the phone, "Yeah, yeah. Thank you so much Donna."

"I'll speak to you soon, sweetie."

You paced the floor with nerves, unsure of what to do. Usually, Travis would be the one to keep you calm so you looked towards the screen. The game was still playing and you stared as Travis was completely unaware that his wife was in labour.

You called the hospital, clutching at your stomach, explaining that your water had broken two weeks before your due date. The call handler explained calmly that they would be sending an ambulance as soon as possible but that you were still in the early stages of labour and not to panic.

As the current play ended, you saw Travis sitting down on the bench, breathing heavily and watching the action on the field as he sat this one out. A member of the Chiefs staff approached him from behind and tapped his shoulder. The camera panned away and you groaned through what you assumed was a contraction, waiting to see your husband on the screen again. When his face finally appeared, his eyes were wide and his head was whipping from side to side, anxiously shouting to everyone around him before he was quickly ushered out of the stadium.

You felt restless. Glancing out of the window, you tried to slow your breathing down in an attempt to relax. You watched the trees swaying with the breeze, almost replicating the movement with your own body and taking deep inhales. Closing your eyes, your hand instinctively cradled your baby bump just as another stab of pain shot through you.

"Come on, just stay in there until Daddy gets back." You muttered.

You hunched your back over and pressed the palms of your hands against the wall for stability as your phone started ringing. Without checking who it was, you answered the call.

"Hello?" You groaned.

"How are you doing, sweetie?"

You winced as you sat down on the gym ball, "I don't know if these pains are contractions but they're kicking my ass, Donna. Did you speak with the team?"

"Yeah, they're getting him out of the stadium now and onto a private jet to bring him home as soon as they can."

You sighed with relief before letting out a throaty cry, "I need him here."

"He'll be there, honey. He isn't missing this."

Your phone beeped in your ear, signalling that another call was trying to get through. You pulled the phone away to look at the screen, seeing a selfie of you and Travis on your wedding day, a huge smile on your face as he pressed a kiss into your cheek.

"He's calling me now, Donna. I'll have to go."

"Okay, call me later on."

You switched the call over quickly, hearing Travis' breathless voice.

"Baby, baby! Are you okay?"

You smiled, "I'm fine, it's painful but I'm okay. They're sending an ambulance as soon as they can."

"I'll be home in an hour and a half. Just sit tight and keep breathing. I love you so much."

Your voice shook, "I love you too, I can't wait to see you be the best Daddy to this little guy." You held your baby bump tenderly, feeling movement through your sweater.

Travis cleared his throat, "I'm getting on the jet now, I'll see you soon."

"Bye, baby."

You dropped your phone on the sofa and began pacing the floor again, grasping at your back as the sharp stab began to change into a dull ache. Your groaned through the pain, gritting your teeth and scrunching your eyes.

It wasn't long before an ambulance arrived to take you to the hospital. You were anxious about having to do this first step on your own but knowing that Travis was on his way eased your mind slightly. He was your birth partner and knew what to do to keep you relaxed, the correct breathing exercises to do and you were desperate to have him by your side.

Once you were in the hospital, you were quickly brought to your private room, your husband wanting only the best for you. It was bright, comfortable and quiet, just what you needed. A cheerful nurse appeared in your doorway with short grey hair and a wide smile.

"Mrs Kelce, my name is Heather. I'll be looking after you today." She beamed as she made her way to your bed.

"Hi Heather." You whined quietly, "My husband is on his way so please could he be let straight in when he gets here?"

She nodded and picked up your notes that were hanging on the end of the bed, "Of course, anything you want. Now, how is your pain."

You scrunched your face, "Manageable at the moment, I guess."

Heather stretched on a pair of gloves, "You just let me know if you would like any help with the pain, but first thing I'm going to do is check how far along you are, if that's okay?"

You nodded as she made her way to the end of the bed, lifting your gown up. You shifted as she examined you, trying to relax.

"Okay, so you're around 4 centimetres so I'm afraid we've got some time to wait, Mrs Kelce."

"Please, call me Y/N."

Heather smiled as she removed her gloves and placed them into the bin, "Now, can I get you anything?"

You pointed down to your bag that you had had packed and ready for the last 2 weeks, "Could you hand me the book that's on the top, please? I figure now would be the perfect time to get some reading in."

Heather reached into the bag and pulled out a large hardbacked book and passed it to you, winking, "Good idea. I'll be just out here. If you need anything at all press that buzzer and I'll be right in."

You smiled at her, your fingers brushing over the pages of your book. You held your breath as another wave of pain brushed over you, but this time it was longer and more intense. You clenched your jaw and closed your eyes to try and deal with the pain, not keen on taking any drugs throughout your labour. Squeezing your eyes further shut, you gripped the book in your hands as the pain began to subside.

Your knuckles were turning white when you heard gentle footsteps. You opened one eye to see Heather set down a cup next to you on the bedside table and lower herself into the nearby seat.

"Ice chips." She said with a smile, "You'll get a dry mouth, especially in this heat."

You took hold of the cup, "Thank you."

She placed one hand on yours, "First time?"

Your face relaxed as the pain subsided, "Yeah." You said with a slow exhale.

"I bet your husband is excited?"

Your lips curled upwards, "You could say that." Your eyes drifted to your phone which had lit up with a notification and was now showing your background of you and Travis on vacation together. "He's going to be an amazing Father."

Heather gave your hand a squeeze, "You'll need to buy an 87 jersey!"

You lowered your eyebrows in confusion.

"My husband is a Chiefs fan, I know who your husband is." She laughed.

"Well, I'm sure I can hook you up with an autograph...ohhhhh." You groaned in agony as Heather started to put her gloves on.

"Oh sweetie, let's just have a look and see what's going on here." Heather said calmly as she began to examine you, "Oh, someone's impatient."

Your eyes widened, "What? What does that mean?"

"It means your baby is coming." She smiled as she removed her gloves and discarded them.

You placed your hands either side of your hips and lifted yourself up slightly, "What? Now? No, Travis isn't here. I need him with me."

Heather took hold of your hands in hers, "Honey, this baby isn't going to wait. He's like his Papa, quick off of the mark." She laughed as she grabbed some charts and unlocked the brakes on your bed.

You closed your eyes, willing the tears not to start falling down your cheeks. You took a few shaky breaths before frantic footsteps in the hallway caused you to open your eyes and your breath hitched when Travis bounded into your room. His face was red and sweaty from rushing around and his expression softened when he saw you.

"Baby, I'm here, I'm here. Is everything okay?" He leaned down and kissed you gently.

You smiled into the kiss, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just glad you're here. I think they're taking me now."

"What, now? Right now?" His voice was panicked.

Your eyes filled with tears, "Are you ready to be a Daddy?"

His thumb brushed over your forehead, "Absolutely."

Heather appeared in the doorway, "Are we ready?"

You pressed your lips together and nodded quickly, "I think so."

______________________________________________________________

Your eyes flickered open and the room slowly came into focus. You swallowed with difficulty, your dry throat scratching. As you turned your head on the pillow, you saw Travis standing at the window, looking outside. You could hear him mumbling with a low voice, but it was too quiet to hear what he was saying.

Clearing your throat a little first, you croaked, "Hey Daddy."

Travis turned around, a bundle of blankets nestled in his arms. He looked up at you and smiled before looking down again, "Look, Mommy's awake."

He came close to you, leaning slightly so he could place the tiny baby on your chest. You looked down at a pair of large blue eyes blinking up at you.

"This is crazy." You whispered.

Travis grinned, bending his knees so that his face was lined up with yours. He pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead, his stubble grazing your skin, "I am so proud of you, baby. You are amazing."

You sighed, "Thank you for getting here in time, I don't think I could've done it without you, baby." You voice shook.

Travis cleared his throat, his emotions taking over, "You are so strong, you can do anything. You hear me? Anything. And I am so happy to start this new chapter of our lives together." He leaned further, kissing his sons forehead, "Our little family. You, me and Dashiell Kelce."

______________________________________________________________

My show is finished now so I'm back to writing. The requests are piling up but I promise that I'm going to try and get through as many this week as I can! If you want to be on my Taglist, please do let me know!

Taglist @kkrenae @keiva1000

#travis kelce x reader #travis kelce imagine #kelce x reader #nfl imagine #original story #travis kelce fic #travis kelce #nfl fluff #travis kelce fluff #kelcemenow requests

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stereax · 2 months

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spill the controversial deeply-held opinion(s)?

every time someone makes fun of a hockey player's name, an angel loses its wings.

very often, I want to say the strong majority of the time, when I see posts like "this player can't be real with a name like that" or "that's not a real name", the name in question is simply Not Anglo-American. just pulling from memory, people are saying names like Zeev Buium (name origin: Hebrew), Arber Xhekaj (name origin: Albanian/Kosovar), Zemgus Girgensons (name origin: Latvian), Ukko-Pekka Luukkonen (name origin: Finnish), and Ivan Miroshnichenko (name origin: Russian) are "fake" names, "NPC" names, or "Japanese baseball" names (after the infamous "Fighting Baseball" game where a dev had to make up a bunch of fake names on the spot). I hope I don't need to point out how this is often xenophobic. I don't think most people are actively aware that they're perpetuating xenophobic thinking when they do this, they just go haha name funny, but ultimately this can be deeply xenophobic.

maybe I see it differently than others - but I'm half-Polish, and as long as I can remember, my Polish family and friends' names have been butchered by (usually) English-speaking Americans, often with snide comments on the side about "are you sure this is your name?" and "this is spelled correctly?" to really rub it in. often enough, this ends with the Pole anglicizing their own name so it "doesn't cause any more problems" - Katarzyna becomes Kate, Grzegorz becomes Greg, Mariusz becomes Mark, Zuzanna becomes Sue. god forbid you have a name like Czesława or Bogdan, where you'll either go by a name like Jessie or Danny (which aren't at all related to the original name) or just get mispronounced forever. oh, and by the way, if you've noticed, almost all of these names turn into diminutives. I'll leave you to think about why.

you probably don't know who Teodors Bļugers is. that's because he anglicized his name to Teddy Blueger so it wouldn't cause problems for announcers. on the Cup, his name is spelled Teddy Blueger, not Teodors Bļugers.

...even when the name is "normal" (think Jason Robertson, Robert Thomas, Jake Bean, Will Smith), making fun of it is a dick move. you're essentially telling someone that their name isn't real - that a core part of their identity must be fabricated because it "sounds funny" to you. and yes, the fourth wall exists and hockey players won't (or at least shouldn't) be on tumblr reading your posts, but people who are from these cultures or have similar names likely will be. and it's they who are being told, because your name does not fit our criteria, it is not a real name. (plus, while tumblr is relatively safe from fourth-wall breaches, other social media such as twitter is infamous for having hockey player burners on them. if Patrik Laine can find and like posts calling him a bust, you best believe players can find and read your opinions online.)

does that make sense?

#stereanswers #sterechats :)

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atierrorian · 19 days

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Hii I hope you’re doing well!! I’d like to request Ruggie, Jade, and Jamil or Kalim (you can choose between kalim or jamil) x a Komi Shoko! Reader that is also malleus’s younger sibling

PARING: Ruggie Bucchi, Jade Leech, Jamil Viper, Kalim Al Asim

˗ˏˋGENRE ´ˎ˗ — Romance/platonic, Fluff

˗ˏˋCW ´ˎ˗ — Misunderstandings, mentions of bullying, stalking? ooc.

˗ˏˋNOTES ´ˎ˗ — Helloo! And I hope you're also doing well too! And btw, I'll do both Jamil and Kalim if you don't mind! Ps, I haven't actually watched "Komi can't communicate" yet so I might get this wrong and because I just researched what Komi's personality was! Btw, I'm sorry if I didn't do any of them justice.

✎| Masterlists|Navigation |

♡ "You're not scared of me?"

♡ "Not anymore"

WORD COUNT: 321

At first, Ruggie avoided you because you were the youngest sibling of Malleus Draconia; one of the top 5 strongest mages and he certainly did not want to get on yours or your brother's bad side...

But, when he actually got to interact with you, his opinion on you changed. Slightly.

you're shy and you don't talk. That's the first thing he notices about you. But, he doesn't pry into it and just leaves it be, It's not any of his business is it?

The two of you got closer when Ruggie was doing the dirty work for Leona and you were merely passing by while holding box of donuts.

You noticed he was working really hard and you decided to why not give him one donut. You did heard he enjoys eating donuts!

Where you got the sudden confidence, you don't know. But! You do know you've been quite curious about him for some time now and you thought that this was the best opportunity to get to know him better!

Ruggie was a bit wary when you approached him; but it quickly disappeared faster than he was suspicious of you when he saw you holding a donut. Where you perhaps offering him?

Well, this is an opportunity he definitely won't decline.

He quickly took the donut from you and from then on, you both became the best of buddies! (Or lovers, you pick)

Ruggie likes to tease you from time to time and he doesn't really care when you don't respond to him. He likes having you to listen to him complaining about Leona anyways.

Of course, he doesn't go overboard with it. He knows boundaries and you're a female too. And a very powerful one at that.

Overall, he finds it fun with you around!

BONUS: He won't admit it unless you bribe him, but, he felt a bit proud when he heard you say something with your voice! He's cunning so he'll try to hear more of your voice.

WORD COUNT: 365

Jade met you during his first year at the orientation while you were also a first year too.

And to say the least, he was interested. I mean, the Malleus Draconia's younger sibling goes here as well? Doesn't this make it all more intriguing.

Throughout your first year, you both rarely ever talked to one another unless it was for something. But even then he had yet to hear your voice. It truly was a mystery for him what you sounded like.

Did you sound high pitched? A deeper voice? Mute? Do you like mushrooms? Was all the thoughts going through his head every time he saw you or talked to you. Although he mostly did the chatting whilst you listened and nodded in acknowledgement.

If Jade had to honest; although you are blood-related with Draconia, he thought he'd lose interest in a heartbeat after a week or so observing you from afar when you least expect it. (Rook that you?)

Yet low and behold, he didn't just yet. Which was a record for him!

Instead, he found you even more fascinating the more he kept up conversations with you somehow despite your lack of words.

Most of your conversations consist of mushrooms, mountains, flora, and whatever else he found interesting that he could share with you.

He invites you with him to the Monstro Lounge as that's where you mostly hang around whenever he is on break. Azul doesn't mind, but just because you're really good friends or even more with Jade doesn't give you a discount, but being Malleus's Draconia sibling does. (His words not mine)

His brother aka Floyd, doesn't have that much opinion on you besides on calling you sea bunny due to your appearance but also you could be just as dangerous as your brother. But also he finds you boring considering you rarely talk or never really.

Overall, Jade finds you interesting and does wish to hear your voice.

BONUS: The first time he heard your voice was during your second year, and my! What lovely voice you have, he noted. He wondered if you'd be willing to work alongside with him at the Lounge, but maybe next time.

WORD COUNT: 324

First things first, he didn't think much of you besides the fact you could possibly endanger Kalim especially with your abilities.

However, his opinion on you changed when he first interacted with you. And to say the least you were really... shy and reserved. Rarely did you ever speak but he respected it.

Although he was still wary, he slowly but surely felt more relaxed around you especially whenever you're hanging out with Kalim.

Still, he keeps a close eye on you both whenever you're chilling with Kalim as he kept going on and on while you listen intently, interested in his other stories he had to share.

It took about a few months for Jamil to get use to you. Though he was still slightly prepared if you tried anything.

Jamil doesn't want to admit it, but he really does like your presence! Some may have found it awkward being in the same room as you not only being a draconia but also because you didn't talk and that scared people, but Jamil likes the silence you bring to the atmosphere. On rare cases where you can take a break, you sit beside him and listens to whatever rant he has to say if he had too much built up. (Which increases his respects for you even more)

You're the complete opposite of Kalim, and he likes that. Kalim has too much energy while you on the other hand stay reserve.

Whenever he cooks for Kalim, he also cooks for you but stays silent while you nod excitedly at him as he tries to hide his flustered face.

Overall he finds your presence calming and loves spending his free time with you!

BONUS: First time hearing your voice was even more calming than he could ever imagine. Hell he couldn't help but feel a bit prideful knowing he was the first in the entire school(Besides Diasomnia) to hear your voice. Even before Kalim.

WORD COUNT: 307

Listen, Kalim is always excited to meet new people and that includes you!

No matter your status, Kalim will always treat you as a friend and you really appreciate him for that. And even after discovering you don't talk or never really talked all that much with other people, he didn't mind at all!

He loves hanging out with you as you listen to his stories he always has to share and he knows you listen so well because he could see the sparkles in your eyes whenever he enthusiastically talks about his past experiences. (Yes including the bad ones)

There is never a moment where people don't see you two together whenever you both don't have any duties to attend to. Either you two go to classes together with Jamil keeping a very close eye, or none at all.

Kalim hates it whenever people talk bad behind your back. He will always comfort you whenever it gets too much and lets you rest on his shoulder as you both sleep the night away.

Malleus to say the least is very grateful to Kalim for not only being his friend but you as well. He knows the feeling all too well of being lonely and he hated the feeling, so for you to have someone is reassuring to him.

Especially someone as amazing as Kalim!

Anyways, Kalim always takes you out for a magic carpet ride and finds joy in the fact you enjoy doing things with him. Seeing you smile is all he needs.

Overall, he loves spending time with you even with your opposite personalities!

BONUS: It wasn't a surprise the fact you talked to Kalim first for the first time with your voice, but man did Kalim almost cried and threw a party in honor. (You had to stop him before he did it)

#atier's works✎#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst headcanons #twst fluff #twst scenario #ruggie bucci x reader #Jade Leech x reader #Jamil Viper x reader #Kalim Al Asim x reader

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drdemonprince · 3 months

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It wasn't the main topic of your most recent post on substack, so I'm sending this here. In passing you talk about left-leaning neurodivergent people on social media, and the guilt and fatigue that comes from the constant avalanche of causes and events being shared.

One thing that stands out to me is how much of what I see is people borrowing grief from the future. This is probably partially due to people wanting to show that they care about it. However I feel it's more than that, because underneath that there's something else. It feels very similar to the catastrophizing autistic people in particular can be prone to. You know, where you get so lost obsessing over a hypothetical possible outcome that you complete lose sight of all the things that have to happen for it to come to pass. Things that are often unlikely to begin with on their own, but combined even more so. And then this gets shared and fractally further catastrophized upon. All pulling grief from the future for things that may not even happen.

Seeing all that is so exhausting, as there's often little to no distinction between what's actually urgent in the here and now, and what's an emotional resonance cascade about what *might* happen (and any actual information to be able to judge it has been lost due to the game of Internet telephone, or was never there (ie. a twitter screengrab.) Sometimes disentangling that mess is possible, but it takes a lot of stress and energy, on top of the stress and energy seeing people upset about it in the first place.

My question is two-fold:

How do you (gently) tell people that what they're doing is counterproductive when just sharing anything without checking whether it's actually urgent, not misleading, not just spreading panic and needlessly borrowing grief from the future? Because with the exception of people you know *well* and even then, that feels like a fool's errand, even if you can avoid the toxic positivity vibes that people might get from you if you try.

Decide if social media is at all worth it. I personally don't follow "big" accounts, but even outside that it's all just so... the enjoyable and interesting parts where people talk about their stuff or share what they do or made feel like they're being snowed over by all the rest. I could quit it all, but that doesn't feel right. It's a tricky question because I feel the specter of the toxic positivity crowd sweeping anything difficult under the rug or disengaging to ~protect their mental~ looming over me. (Not to mention that all the IRL social events around me go through a dizzying array of social media sites, so complete disengagement isn't possible anyway.)

(Yes, I appreciate the irony of asking this on social media.) I'd appreciate any thoughts you might have on this.

Thanks for this all-too-relatable question, Anon! My thoughts:

My answer is that you really don't. You can't convince someone to see the world your way or alter their behavior with your words. What you can do is take care of yourself and set an example with your behavior. By spending less time online digesting this bullshit, not involving yourself in petty,dissolve-on-your-tongue internet fights, not reacting when people send some dumb fuckshit to you, and surrounding yourself with more enriching sources of information and ways to connect, other people's online bullshit will bother you less, you'll see it less, and by virtue of contributing to it all less, you may slowly serve as a model for others who are looking to detach from it, too.

You can tell your close friends that you are spending less time online and trying to avoid alarmist bullshit, but not much good usually comes from engaging about it with anyone else. In fact, even posting a bad infographic in order to argue with it/disprove it only gives it more exposure, and some research on attitude change and persuasion finds that setting out to disprove a myth only leads to more people believing in it anyway. I did some laboratory studies on that back in the day. So I'd say it's usually better to just ignore/block/not read the BS.

2. (How do you) Decide if social media is at all worth it. I personally don't follow "big" accounts, but even outside that it's all just so… the enjoyable and interesting parts where people talk about their stuff or share what they do or made feel like they're being snowed over by all the rest. I could quit it all, but that doesn't feel right. It's a tricky question because I feel the specter of the toxic positivity crowd sweeping anything difficult under the rug or disengaging to ~protect their mental~ looming over me. (Not to mention that all the IRL social events around me go through a dizzying array of social media sites, so complete disengagement isn't possible anyway.)

I think my previous answer kind of alludes to the answer to this one. I find that I use social media less and less these days, because it does not help me professionally, socially, or emotionally very much at all. On the professional level, more social media usage does not translate to more readers or more interesting creative/collaborative opportunities. What does seem to pay off is speaking from true sincerity and passion, however often I am so moved, and then not engaging with bullshit in the aftermath of sharing it. So I post and ghost whenever I feel that I have something to say, never checking notifications/reactions/comments/etc for the most part.

Socially, social media use lately has been dismal for me. Seeing everyone's hot takes, bids for attention, trauma spirals, and petty fights makes me actively like humanity far less. And that's something I have already struggled with generally. I do not need to absorb every random person I've ever met's every random fleeting thought. It makes me socially anxious, far too worried about how people perceive me, and viciously judgement and hopeless myself. What social media IS useful for, socially, is finding events, as you've alluded to. So I do hop onto Instagram to check out my favorite party organizers, drag performers, mutual aid groups, trans beach day organizers, bars, etc to see what is going on. I don't do much beyond that these days.

Emotionally/psychologically, social media is stressful, alarmist, distracting, and occasionally informative and fun for me. Again your mileage may vary. My way of coping right now is to spend as little time on Instagram/Twitter/Facebook etc as possible, because very little of intellectual consequence happens there, and to selectively visit the specific tumblrs who put out posts that I like. I don't even scroll the feed. I have also replaced scrolling social media with reading Substacks and Medium articles and that has helped me a TON. I still get exposure to a wide array of humanity, including a lot of takes that I disagree with or find silly, but everything's a bit more measured and intentional and there's less fighting.

I do not know what will work for you, Anon, and I think for many of us this is an ongoing negotiation between competing needs. I consider saying fuck it and deleting everything pretty often. well, everything other than tumblr. I'm here to stay.

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mostlyghostlyy · 2 months

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How possessive do you think Kobble is? I think he has to be at least a bit, but like him being a more passive pining stalker it might look a little weird on him. Less telling you off and more desperate, maybe.

I think he definitely has a possessive side during a relationship. Before, he would be mostly just passive pining and stalking. When you’re finally his, he doesn't want to lose that and will take drastic measures to keep your affections.

I don't think he would ever outright tell you off in any way. Any criticism would be masked in light-hearted passive aggressive comments. Dale seems more like the type to try to be coy about things, and would prefer to sulk instead of addressing any concerns with you. Deciding instead to hint at things and hope you’ll notice. If you don't understand what he's lamenting about, it will only make his mood worse. Rough sex usually follows. He would be huge into guilt tripping. He likes the attention it affords him, even if it's negative.

Jealousy is a big component of his possessiveness. He is very sensitive to the feeling of envy. If he ever feels slighted or ignored at all while you are in someone else's company, you would never hear the end of it. His hands would be all over you, and Dale being shameless would start talking over the conversation. He commands your attention, whether you are finished or not. He will say anything to get you to leave the conversation, even if it embarasses you. Throwing a smug grin at the individual while you tote Dale off to somewhere more private.

I don't think he would be controlling enough to keep you hidden away from friends and family all the time, but he definitely wants most of your free time spent with him. And if you do have plans with anyone, he will make sure that they know you belong to him. Dale would be fixing you up with hickies, bites, bruises. Any kind of sexual related markings so they cannot be misconstrued. He does this when you go out together, making you sport a shirt that has a plunging neckline so everyone can see his trophy (you).

You would have no privacy with this man. He would always want to know where you are at all times. Even if you simply stepped outside for the mail he would be at the door, pestering you with questions when you returned. Dale is clingy, and that mixed with insecure is a toxic mix. He would need to do everything with you, and would act as if he can't function without you by his side 24/7. Dale has no boundaries, so he would expect you not to have any either. I think he would be personally offended if you ever asked for space, and might even break down in tears. Expecting you to comfort him. On this note, I think he would want to know what you’re thinking at all times. Constantly looking for validation that you’re happy and that he is secure in trusting you.

A cute little hc that i have (which is i guess only slightly possessive, but still applies) is that he NEEDS to be the one to drive you places. You need to get to work? Dale will drive you there, and pick you up. Something from the store? Dale loves errands! Meeting a friend? Dale will also be meeting the friend because he’ll transport you! You will never have to touch the wheel of a (personal) car again, because he will take you anywhere you want to go. He will not take no for an answer either.

#hope you like it pookie 😘#bro nearly has you in a bear hug whenever you go out together #love the idea that hes possessive because he is insecure not because he sees you as an object #hes like a needy puppy that always needs to have attention otherwise it will bark and yap #dale is always on your heels pestering you with questions. you'll never have a moments peace #longlegs #longlegs x reader #ask #dale kobble x reader #dale kobble

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kisses4lao · 11 months

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Could I request kung lao who can't take his eyes off from!reader? Like she has thick thighs and tits that are super hard to cover. I'm totally not self projecting here👀 thanks!!!!!

Girl the way I relate to you so hard 😭 these triple D's make my life so much worse I swear

Tw/cw: Kung Lao being extremely horny, kind of pre established relationship??? Idk, Liu Kang being able to hear his horny thoughts and getting fed up with it, Raidens fed up with it too tho DW, Bi Han is also a simp for reader but Kung Lao is cooler, readers THICCC in the tits and thighs department, cursing, takes place before Bi Han became grandmaster because we all know he wouldn't let a woman NEAR the Lin Kuei

Not proofread

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I said this once and I'll say it again, Kung Lao is a certified thigh man. Any thighs, small, big, muscular, soft n squishy, he loves them all.

So when you showed up as a new Lin Kuei recruit member, much to the dismay of Bi Han, Kung Lao was head over heels for you.

You needed to get a uniform tailored specifically for you. Considering you were one of the first female recruits, you couldn't take a man's uniform, according to Bi Han, at least. Not only that, but you needed a uniform to cover up.. well, everything. You had incredibly thiccc thighs and awfully big breasts, both being very hard to cover up.

You were able to persuade Bi Han to make you a uniform that had a turtle neck long sleeve shirt with bell bottom jeans (that's what I'd want at least smh). Bi Han was quick to have someone get your measurements as well as making the actual uniform.

Truth be told, you could tell Bi Han had a small soft spot for you. Which is why he was always more than happy to help you out. When you finally got your uniform, you were confused as to why it was so tight if you got your measurements taken. It had hugged every curve you had perfectly and made your thighs and bust accentuated.

Other than the fact it was revealing without having anything showing, you enjoyed your new uniform and wore it out to train. You could feel your colleagues eyes on you, especially Kung Laos. God did he love how your thighs looked in your new uniform, he couldn't take his eyes off of you.

He'd often times try and spar you, being completely mesmerized by the way your breasts would move in your uniform. He'd purposefully lose that way he could rematch you.

Other times he'd just stare. The other men training would too, but they had the decency to at least look away after a few seconds. Not Kung Lao though. He'd stare at your body for minutes at a time. Raiden would have to genuinely slap him before he got the hint.

He wasn't objectifying you, or at least, not on purpose. He genuinely did have a lot of respect for you as a fighter, he just couldn't help but think about you in the most perverted ways possible.

If you guys were ever next to each other, whether it be at dinner, during training, or something else, he'd spare small glances at you. He'd take in every part of you, your luscious hair, eyelashes, a side profile he deemed perfect.

He'd stare at your lips, wondering what it would be like to kiss them, touch them, have them wrapped around his cock. Same with your thighs and breasts, he'd wonder what it would be like to touch them, to kiss them, make small hickeys on them. He'd love to know what they'd look like bare, or maybe with his cum painted on them.

Sometimes Liu Kang would just look him dead in the eyes while he's thinking about these perverted things and give him the stankest look. Like he'd look at him like a disappointed father.

Raiden is also getting fed up with how much he talks about you but never WITH you. Raiden thought you were gorgeous, both mind and body, and he just wanted what was best for his friend. That, however, did not include Kung Laos endless rambling about you. He had gotten so sick of it that he ended up confessing for him.

Raiden waited until you were alone to approach you. You guys were pretty good friends, so this wasn't out of the ordinary. He'd mentioned Kung Lao once and could see how your eyes lit up at the thought of him. He told you about how he had the biggest crush on you and set you guys up on a date.

Kung Lao wasn't thrilled to find out Raiden told you for him. He wasn't happy about it at all actually, but he'll be damned if he missed this opportunity with you.

The amount of times he's fucked his hands, or wrapped a pillow around his cock just to simulate what you could feel like was too many times to count. The date was at a fancy restaurant, he had picked you up and you were wearing a low cut dress that left nothing to the imagination. You had to keep pulling the dress down because of how often it rode up your thighs, and every time you did, Kung Lao felt like he was in heaven.

You were so beautiful to him, and finding out more about you as a person just made him even more attracted to you. He'd asked you so much about yourself that by the end of the night you'd known nothing about him. So when you asked him for another date, he was ecstatic.

He absolutely went home and masturbated so much that night he felt like his dick was gonna fall off. He's probably into that tho

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/n: do you guys think Kung Laos into drinking breast milk. I do. I think he'd be all up in those titties fr

#mk1 #mortal kombat #mortal kombat smut #mortal kombat x reader #kung lao x reader #kung lao mortal kombat #kung lao mk1 #kung lao smut #mortal kombat kung lao #kung lao

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prettyboykatsuki · 2 months

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you make me want Rin so bad….. I’m so unwell about him shut up PLEASE for the sake of my sanity….. (don’t actually tho….) he gets all shy afterwards??? really???? 😣 any time you say “peace and love on planet earth” on a post it is the craziest most diabolical shit. absolutely not peace and love it is chaos and torment in horny hell

i really want to study him in a lab so i cant help but write for him in the horniest of ways

HE DOES GET ALL SHY AFTERWARDS. THE NERVE OF HIM LMAO

i dont think he ever truly gets over that feeling though over the course of your relationship though later on he can be the teensiest bit smug.

to me rin sees sex as solely intimacy and not an instinct driven thing so its both very seperate from his sense of egoism and very much related. a lot of rins character arc is about learning how to not only hone his intuition but to really sharpen his instinct and "lose" himself in the feeling od playing soccer.

his whole metaphor about destruction is more appropriately about letting himself be enraptured and possessed by the spirit of the game. if you watch hq its similar to tsukis arc and it's also why sae is such a dick to him about using sae as his reason for soccer.

essentially, rin is very prideful about appearances when he plays soccer. thats his ego. but he can't become a good player if he's not willing to show the worst of him to the sport.

I SAY ALL OF THAT TO SAY: sex, for rin, is separate from his sense of egoism. it's a form of intimacy, a way of companionship - and one of the only separating lines from friend to partner.

so sex for rin is all about instinct. it's why he can't fully be domineering though he makes a great submissive, because while he can feel self-conscious, he loses himself in the pleasure and euphoria of connecting with you so wholly. the experience is almost religious.

the reason he gets so SHY after fucking your brains out is because you have basically seen him at his most raw and sincere. him holding you, fucking you, letting himself indulge in something so physical it borders on caveman is the most vulnerable he's ever been in his life.

and you don't particularly know that. you don't understand because how could you? that part of rin is an enigma even to himself. but rin knows it more, knows that by agreeing to fuck you he's letting you meet a part of him he rarely shows anyway

of course he's a little shy about that. it might always be marriage. it's why he doesn't lay a hand on you and feels embarrassed when he gets those inclinations towards.

yes yes he's horny and finds you hot but most importantly, he wants you to look at him and feel good. he wants to feel good with. there's nothing so sacred yk

once again tho... peace and love on planet earth

#return to sender #a.rin #a.bllk #^ i love saying that when i wreak havoc on the dash and loved ones

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sommerflue-22 · 1 year

Text

Little Things They Do... (Pt. 3)

Little things they do to show you they love you

Read the other parts: Part 1 // Part 2

Featuring: Reiner Braun, Annie Leonhart, Pieck Finger, Zeke Jaeger, Bertholdt Hoover, Porco Galliard

Warning: Modern setting

Word Count: 748

Author Note

Hi! This will be the last of the series. I've linked the previous parts for you to read. Here's the song I listened to while writing this. I feel like this part is more gloomy because hey I'm kind of a mess rn haha. I hope you still enjoy it, tho. Again, these actions can be perceived platonically or romantically, whatever suits you.

Reiner

Reiner worries about you a lot even though you're a grown adult, fully capable of doing stuff on your own. When you both are apart from each other, you keep each other updated. What you both are doing, where you're at, who you're with. After you got your own car, Reiner text you to drive safe all the time. Especially when you're alone or during the winter. He can help you if you cut your finger when cooking, he can help you if you're sick from walking in the rain, but he can't really help you if anything happens while you're driving alone. He doesn't want to think of the worst case scenario. Whatever your relationship is with him, whether it's romantic or platonic, he doesn't want to lose you.

Annie

Annie is not the type of person who will explicitly say she loves you. She is also not a big fan of physical contact. You are no exception, but she really does care for you a lot. So, whenever you're out with her and need to cross a street, she will hold your hand. She doesn't ask you if you need help crossing the street, nor does she glances at you and smile (like you often sees in movies). Annie just automatically holds your hand and leads you forward, looking both ways to make sure everything is safe.

Pieck

Pieck is a busy lady, okay? She works hard, every single day. She's highly professional and her colleagues count on her a lot. However, when it's just the two of you, she puts away any mental to-do list or any work-related stuff. She just wants to be with you, listening to you talking. She pays attention to you and you only. Of course, she will talk about work if you ask her about it. Though, she'd rather spend her free time not worrying about work. She feels like she can relax and be her everyday, cheerful self with you.

Zeke

Having a relationship in general is not easy, but having a relationship with Zeke is definitely on the next level. He can be stubborn at times, and even though he doesn't mean it, he might say things that hurt you. Not to mention, his *cough* family issue. Loving Zeke, as a friend or as a lover, is not easy. You both argue a lot, often times resulting in one of you taking time away from the other. Most of the time, it's you who request a time off. Now, Zeke is quite a prideful man alright. He doesn't go mushy and beg you to stay. He let you go be alone for a few days, but eventually he will be the one who apologizes first. He doesn't do that with other people, but he does for you. Because you never leave him, and he would love to keep it that way.

Bertholdt

Bertholdt can be shy at times, especially when he just met someone for the first time. Maintaining eye contact while someone else is talking to him can be difficult. He felt uncomfortable, like the other person might discover who he really is just by staring into his eyes. How insecure he feels sometimes, the dark thoughts that he keeps for lonely nights, and other things private. You are the only exception. You don't judge, you show him that hey, it's alright to be a little messed up sometimes. You've seen him in states that nobody else has ever seen, even his parents. That is why he's not afraid to look into your eyes. He appreciates you, and he lets you in.

Porco

Porco can be passive-aggressive at times and most of the time he might think he's always right, especially when it has been a long day for him. People might start an argument, or they'll let it go while mentally cursing the man. You, on the other hand, you're one of the few people who can deal with him. Instead of starting an argument (causing him to get worked up) or walking away (and seeing him with a smug expression), you just simply say "Alrighty~ Agree to disagree" It's a new response that Porco didn't anticipate, and you say it with the most chill tone/expression. After awhile, he tried not to be so snappy and cocky with you. He even gives up his need to always be right. You can tell him the rain happens because the angels are taking a piss, and he'll just nodded. "Whatever you say..."

Idk man, I just really love Bertholdt, Reiner, and Zeke. Precious men. Deserves better. I love them.

Anyway, thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy it. Lemme know what you think in the comment :)

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin #aot x you #aot x reader #reiner braun x reader #annie leonhardt x reader #pieck finger x reader #zeke jeager x reader #zeke yaeger x reader #bertholdt hoover x reader #porco galliard x reader #snk x reader #fluff #reader insert #modern setting #new blog #no beta we die like erwin

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abyssalzones · 8 months

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C-PTSD as a diagnosis makes so much sense for Ford because he really does fit almost all of the criteria, ESPECIALLY if you take the stuff in J3 into account in conjunction with his traumatic childhood (bullying, bad dad, etc.). It just makes sense in regards to his motivations and his issues with interpersonal relationships (like with Stan). Also buring yourself in your work (like he does) is a very common 'flight' coping mechanism to trauma in adults

I'm smiling like this right now

ford's whole.... mental health deal is extremely interesting to examine because Oh my god this man is the textbook image for "reacting to ongoing, continuous trauma". intentional or otherwise (I'm inclined to believe it's both).

like. okay hang on I'm about to get very in depth with it

I feel like there's no way this entire guy's life and in some ways his lasting identity haven't been defined by and constructed around various forms of trauma, maybe the most obvious and true-to-canon-intent being peer abuse/bullying from childhood. a lot of people downplay the impact of this type of abuse but it's... responsible for a lot of social ills in shocking ways. (if you're more interested in this topic here is an article my friend mer linked me a while back, it gets into it very deeply)

(a lot of this is going to be sourced from the wikipedia page for CPTSD [and my own experience Living with it] which I realize isn't very professional of me but Whatever this is tumblr)

one of the core tenets of ford's personality is that he's Different. he owns it, sure- his six fingers become a point of pride rather than something to be ashamed of- but they make it extremely clear that from a young age he associated being different with being a social pariah. ford's generation was characterized by notoriously cruel bullying, and anything that remotely made you stand out rendered you a target. ford could've been bullied for being nerdy and jewish (and failing to perform socially, ie dating) alone, having such an obvious mutation definitely was not winning him any points.

so it's honestly no surprise, when from childhood ford feels like he has One person in the world to trust and confide in, that he would go on to form very unhealthy attachment patterns typical of CPTSD. as you elaborated on regarding AvPD (which I know far less about but seems to have comorbidity with CPTSD): if you're hard-wired to believe socializing with others results in failure or betrayal, then you're not going to make an effort. but what does end up happening is that you're going to pour all of your trust and dependency into one person at a time, one person who is "safe".

previously, that was his brother. and it's not really hard to draw the conclusion from there that fiddleford was a subject of ford's attachment style, considering he was his One friend from college, and... one of Maybe two people ford is friends with at all who he isn't related to. he cites him as the only person he can possibly trust to work on the portal project alongside him, and he still can't bring himself to tell him the full truth, because he's terrified of losing him. I love their dynamic (I do think they were mutual best friends, and there was no small amount of trust reciprocated between them. "fiddleford was weird as hell too" is something I keep coming back to) and I don't think it's built on entirely unhealthy terms, but that kind of pressure is... setting things up to crash and burn.

enter bill stage left. back to "continuous yearning to be liked and accepted"- this guy knew that and made every effort to prey on ford's insecurities to reel him in as close as possible. this is what really pisses me off about the idea that bill was just "inflating ford's ego", because it's way, way more insidious than that. throughout the entirety of journal 3 we see ford reintroduce someone to his life he has a very positive relationship with (fiddleford) and how that trust gets gradually broken down by bill's influence "winning out" over their friendship. I think it's safe to say ford was already vulnerable: from the start, he'd been isolated in his research for six years (and it's unclear for how long he'd known bill by 1982), and bill proved time and time again to be someone who wouldn't judge him, someone who would praise him for his hard work, and perhaps most critically, make him feel like being different was something special.

like that's... that's really not good!!!! and that kind of thing works wonders on someone who has already settled with the idea that they're inclined to be alone just by design.

trying to put a cap on this. in relationships like the one he's had with his brother or fiddleford it doesn't even necessarily have to be ""toxic"" (vague term anyway) or outwardly bad to be built on unhealthy attachment patterns, and considering for a good chunk of ford's life his attachment to others can be characterized as "I can only trust ONE person at a time" it feels essential to any discussion of his CPTSD or canon trust issues. That is something that happens a lot in Real cases of CPTSD (hi) and only further snowballs into More trauma by leaving you vulnerable to manipulation and abuse (see: bill.)

I've been going on for way too long now and I feel like I've only scratched the surface of the thing I wanted to elaborate on sorry. that post traumatic stress disorder can complex

#lab notes #I woke up and had to answer this before anything else but I really need to Eat so apologies if this is all over the place. running on empty #edit: this is ok to reblog ! all of my gf theorizing/analysis is unless I clarify it isn't for whatever reason #lab discussion

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acosmicblizzard · 1 year

Text

Belobog underworld crew with a homesick!Reader hcs

everyone come get y'alls food. And yes this is platonic for Clara and hook cause they're kids.

Warnings: Possible ooc, mentions of food, takes place after the entire belobog arc, some swearing but it's minimal. And finally laziness cause the duality of writing long things and losing motivation mid way means things get sloppy.

Story type: Fluff, headcanons.

Pairings/Characters: Seele, Clara, Hook, Natasha, Sampo.

Seele

Like how she is to almost everyone, seele acts like she doesn't care but in reality wants to make you feel better in anyway she can. She's not the best with homesickness and may accidentally make you feel worse but will try her best not to.

The underworld and wildfire have been her home and family for all of her life and she couldn't imagine how painful it would be to be completely separated from the people and places she loves and grew up with.

If you grew up in the overworld of belobog she'll gladly go up there with you and follow you around as you visit places you miss and visit any family or friends you wish to see up there. Though she won't admit it, Seele's heart warms up at all these sights. Happy for you to return to the place you came from.

If you're not originally from belobog and your family was from a place outside of it before the fragmentation or eternal freeze destroyed it or hell even from a entire different planet somehow like the astral express crew Seele will be slightly upset as she can't bring you too those places and can't help you reminisce by seeing the sights of your past. But she'll still try as she asks you what you remember and any stories you remember from your home.

Seele will bring you to the orphanage as you two talk about your past and your memories. Though she knows you don't have any memories relating to this place other then when you went to this place with the Trailblazer, her, and Bronya, she wants to find a way to share the warmth and comfort she feels whenever she visits this place and remembers all the happiness she experienced here.

A rare breeze of wind flew through the underworld as you and Seele leaned on the concrete slabs bordering the stairs to the orphanage. Staring off into space for God knows how long, the only thing both of you know is that together, you two feel at home near one another.

Clara

Clara has never ventured much out of the robot settlement unless she's scavenging for materials outside of the place. Even then she doesn't have a huge emotional connection to the place. To her, home Is with Svarog and the rest of the robots. No matter where they are and no matter where she is, as long as she's with them, she feels at peace and home.

Because of that, whenever she figures out you're feeling homesick she asks Svarog about it and what would be the best way to help comfort you. She'll consult the robot about ways to cheer you up and he would recommend trying to duplicate items or customs from your home or visiting there if possible.

If you two can visit your home she'll often ask you if you two can go there together. She'll ask all about your home, what it was like, who was there with you, and more as you two hold hands and walk around the place.

A small frown will appear on Clara's face as she looks down slightly if you can't visit your home for any reason. Out of all of them she understands the importance of family and home the most and knows how painful it can be. She asks what it was like at your home and all your memories of it, asking you if you could tell her stories.

She'll take about a day or two but after that she would've made a plan with Svarog to help replicate some things and items from your home based on your stories. Though she still lives in the underworld with the help of the trailblazer she'll go into the overworld and cook some dishes from your home.

"Mx. Y/n, me and Mr. Svarog made this.. it may not be the best but we tried our best to replicate some dishes from your home based on what you said! We hope you enjoy it.. thank you for all the story's you told me, can you tell me some more?" Clara asks with hope shining in her eyes as she hands you a plate of food. Hopeful that maybe one day you can go back home, In the meantime though, she'll stay by your side and in courage you all the way.

Hook

Hook has spent all her life in the underworld as she was born there and only ever went to the overworld whenever the barrier between the two cities was removed. Because of that she views the underworld as her permanent home even if she has to deal with the hag Natasha preventing her and the rest of the moles from having fun injuring themselves.

When she finds out you're homesick she takes the responsibility upon herself to drag you all around the underworld and introduce you to all the surroundings even if you've already been to the place before. Though this place may never be known as your home, she wants to help you start thinking of it as a place that's similar to your home. A place you can go to for relaxing and having people who care for you around. As the leader of the moles, she refuses to have one of her honorary members feel bad!

She'll also begrudgingly go to Natasha for help with the situation and ask what would be the best way to cheer you up. Natasha chuckles at this but gladly helps Hook improve your mood when she's not helping patients.

She may have or may not have asked Natasha to sow you a plushie. No matter your age Hook things having a fluffy friend nearby to comfort you would be great. While she was in the orphanage she acted well for weeks just to get JunJun even if she ended up selling him for a present to get her dad, so she feels maybe you'll feel happy and comforted at the present of a fluffy teddybear.

She also enlists the help of the rest of the moles and asks you to play games such as hide and seek, hopscotch, jump rope, etc with them. Hoping the games will cheer you up and make you happy like it does for the rest of the members, their little gang is in a way home to them and she hopes to have you feel that way too.

"Don't worry honorary member! Pitch-Dark Hook the Great will help you sort everything out in a jiffy!" Are the words she says before dragging you off to a very chaotic, but strangely comforting day.

Natasha

Natasha originally came from the overworld but willfully went too the underworld to help all the sick and injured people down there before the barricade between the two cities were put in place. She did this knowing that she would leave her old home and her family back in the overworld but pursed this path out of her own will.

Every now and then she feels the urge to visit her family which she can do anytime now, but she mostly prioritizes her job and life in the underworld first. Her heart aches when she figures out your true feelings and she wants to help but believes she can't do much to help due to how busy she can be.

However, she always has the other members of wildfire at her side open to help her out. She enlists the help of Oleg and Seele, specifically leaving out Sampo (sorry buddy-) to help her in the clinic so she can create a entire day where she's free to relax and hang out with you. Though she feels slightly bad at leaving her patients for this time she trusts her friends that they'll take good care of them while she's away for a day.

"Let's walk together a bit, it'll help clear your mind." Natasha says in a sweet voice as you and her walk around through the towns of the underworld and overworld of belobog. Letting you talk and vent all you need too and even sharing her own experiences to attempt to console you.

You two walk for a few hours and eventually sit down on a bench in the overworld together taking a bit of a break. Natasha suddenly brings out a book that she had on her and hands it over to you. Saying that even if you aren't too big of a reader she wants to share the literature and many things of this world with you. You may not be able to return home anytime soon or maybe you can't, so she wants you to be able to find peace in places away from it and see all the beautiful things this planet has to offer.

"Keep smiling like that for me okay?" Nat says in a sweet voice as she reached up to cup your cheek. "Though my specialties may be in the medical field, i'll try my best to heal your mental state my friend. If you ever need anything, please confide in me."

Sampo

Though sampo has quite the eccentric personality and a really strange way of doing business, he's pretty reliable and gets things done even if it's in his own way and sometimes it brings more trouble then good. Whenever he finds out it's good ol sampo to the rescue cause this loveable dumbass is gonna do whatever he can.

One thing is that he's pretty resourceful and has a 90% chance of trying to or having other people make items similar to your home planet. No matter if it's food, literature, music, clothing, he'll find a way to do it. However, expect you to owe him a "favor" afterwards.

He'll really just use that favor as a excuse to hang out with you and drag you into helping him with his clients and shady ass business. However he's really only doing it to help you clear your mind and get distracted by something else. Depending on if it works or not he'll make sure to get you out of the situation unless he desperately needs your help.

Sampo will suggest you two go into the fragmentum and bash some monsters to let out some pent up emotions due to the fact he isn't really the best when it comes to talking about heavy emotions but is more of a listener. However, Sampo will try his best if you're looking for comfort.

Sampo may seem avoidant of the topic at first as he's not good at comfort through words and prefers to use his actions. But will always remind you that at some point during your journey you'll be able to return home, and the long wait and the bonds and adventures you created on the way will make the wait all worth it.

"Come on now, Sampo would never leave his good friends behind! Follow me and i'll ensure your mind will be whipped of these thoughts." Sampo says as he twirls one of his daggers and quickly pockets it and quickly running off to the abandoned rivet town, just beckoning for you to follow him.

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chuusposts · 2 years

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the reason i live is to die with you

summary: xiao, kazuha, albedo, aether with a suicidal! reader (aka dazai)

warnings: minor angst(?), mention of suicide, double suicide, suicide thoughts, suicide attempts (everything that's related to suicide)

notes: i tried writing for genshin hehe (also if you don't know who dazai is, he's an anime character (and a real person) who has attempted suicide for many times but also failed each time) part 02 :')

xiao

the first time he met you was when you tried to jump off the wangshu inn balcony. he heard you say something like "the weather is so clear, do you think this world is going to fall apart?" and he was like '???'

when you noticed his presence, you asked him the same question and if he'd like to be your suicide partner, "it feels so lonely to leave this world by myself, so how about you join me instead?" while giving him the most idiotic smile.

when he refused, you immediately pout and started to climb up the rail obviously trying to jump off. but your suicide attempt failed when xiao teleported behind you and held your wrist "what the hell do you think you're doing?!"

he's even more confused when you grimaced and sent him a sharp glare.

later after he got close to you (after he tried to stop your suicide attempt a few times) he learned that attempting for a suicide is your second nature so the next time you ask him for a double suicide he would just shrug it off.

but sometimes he does get worried like what if one day he comes back to you just to find out you're not in this world anymore? he already lost his friends, no way he's gonna lose you next. so he always make sure to check on you from time to time especially if you're out of his sight for too long just to make sure you're safe.

kazuha

kazuha was at ritou's dock admiring the beauty of narukami island before he departed to liyue in a few hours. but you just had to come up to him and asked him, "kazuha, how long do you think it will take for you to find my body if i drown in the sea?"

he was shocked at first but after he realised it was you, he just laughed it off and smiled, "well, i prefer if you don't drown at all"

you smiled at his words, "then you must wanted to die alongside with me, right?" he then cupped your cheeks with his hands, "dear y/n, why do you wish to die?"

"let me ask you, then. do you really think there's any value in the act of living? i've been living my entire life, and i still can't find a reason for me to live."

kazuha was speechless, he already asked himself the same question many times. does he simply live because of what happened to his friend? because his friend left him prematurely without that of a goodbye? and he figured, the problem is that he loved him. he loved all of his friends so much he's afraid if he leaves this world, other people will feel the exact same way as he did and it pained his heart just thinking about it.

that's why in that instant, kazuha swears to himself; that he'll protect you until you find your reason to live. in this world, and the next, he'll always protect you.

albedo

it was still dark when albedo arrived at his lab in dragonspine. what he didn't expect was to be met with a panicked sucrose, "mr. albedo, please help us!" she said, pointing at you who looked like you were on cloud nine.

as he made his way to you, albedo realized that you're actually... high? really? early in the morning? "just look, i've finally arrived in the afterlife! to the land of the dead, khaenri'ah!" you laughed hysterically.

albedo was confused, "sucrose, what's going on?" sucrose looked around a bit before picking a half eaten mushroom and a book titled 'complete guide to suicide'. she read and explained to albedo about the method you were using when you suddenly jumped on her, still high.

albedo sighed, seemingly used to your antics, "wait a minute sucrose, let me finish my paperwork first." sucrose was struggling so much, she even tried to fight you off but you still succeeded wrapping her full body and face with crape bandages making her look like a mummy.

you came to sit in front of him, poking and pinching his cheeks, begging him to come with you to the afterlife while he focused on his paperworks.

after it what felt like a good five minutes, albedo put his pen down, cupped your cheeks in his hand and stared straight into your eyes, "strange, most people fear death but at the same time they are drawn to death. yet why are you so different from them? maybe i should spend more time with you so i can learn about you..."

aether

"you're a man as ephemeral and elegant as a lotus blossom. would you be willing to join me in a double suicide-"

'bbong!' you were proposing aether for a double suicide when paimon suddenly hit you in the head causing you two to bickered.

"at least wait for him to find his sibling first!" paimon shouted. she's not wrong; you should've at least waited for him to reunite with lumine first before you died with him, "but that would take forever!" after all, all you wanted to do was to leave this world as soon as possible.

that's why you offered to accompany him throughout his journey. aether was glad, not because you wanted to commit double suicide with him but because he can always keep his eyes on you.

moreover, he doesn't have to worry about you committing double suicide with other people. though he must admit that he's a bit jealous when you suddenly ask random people to join for your double suicide especially if they're good looking (you're loyal to him so obviously you were joking)

one day, you were explaining to him why living is so useless and why he should join you for your double suicide saying your reason to live is to die with him. aether listened to you attentively when he suddenly sighed and smiled softly, "but y/n, if you think of me as your reason to live, then i'll take it upon myself to keep you alive."

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dragonshoardofworks · 8 months

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DP x DCMK (x DC)

Where Danny and Shinichi meet at the Hawaii where's a Ghost Convention (pre-portal and Conan, when they're both around 11–12 years old) since both sets of parents are invested in the topic. (The Fentons because they're the Fentons and Yusaku because he's researching for one of his books).

They become friends and keep contacts through messages, sharing school shenanigans, crushes, cases and family mishaps.

The One Thing that Danny doesn't share, though, is his halfa status.

First, because Shinichi doesn't believe in the supernatural (according to him, magic is just unexplained science) and second, because his change is far from any kind of "normalcy" and Shinichi had categorically stated that he doesn't want anything to do with superheroes, he's just a "normal" detective and they (the Justice League) save the world.

Though, it's not unusual that, if something weird happens in a case, Shinichi asks Danny's opinion and intel since the Fenton's library has "weird"/obscure material. (If the answer gets him too close to superhero-stuff, Shinichi passes the ball to the JL, more specifically to Red Robin, but that's something for a following reblog of this thread.)

So when Shinichi becomes Conan and settles in Ran's home, he contacts our favorite boi.

(A bit late to the @crossoverdanuary party... (^～^;)ゞ Anyway, long post in chat-style, plus an extra, so I decided to use the read more function because it was getting out of hand... (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) )

Shinichi: Hey Danny, do you know anything that should be killing you, but instead it shrinks you? Danny: Shrink as in size or age? S: Age D: Hold on, gotta check some books to be sure, but usually anything age-related is dark shit. What's for? Fun or case? S: ...It's for a case D: Well, that didn't sound ominous at all, then gotta go *faster* *few minutes later* D: Okay, the closest thing (still in the Mortal Realm) to what you asked is this jewel most commonly known as "Pandora" (if she knew, she would definitely lose her shit) D: it's a gem hidden inside another gem that glows red under the moonlight D: "if bathed in the light of the Volley Comet, it would shed tears capable of granting eternal life" S: This doesn't sound anything like what I asked you (⁠눈⁠‸⁠눈⁠) D: Cut the sass beanpole and let me continue D: since the legend exist and it's documented, it should be reasonable to presume that someone managed to attain it, right? S: ...right *squinty eyes* D: So if some scientist tried to reproduce the same results in the *scientific way* instead of the magical one, they could have either the original "Tears" or the one who consumed them and run test and experiment on them D: whatever the case, there would be either some inferior or failed products that instead of making you immortal, *de-ages* you, which is the next best thing (i.e. you would live longer) D: but since they were "failures" compared to the immortality elixir, they could definitely become poisons. D: So! Since you were so ominous, was it really for a case or did our dear Professor Agasa dabble in alchemy? 👀 (read) D: Beanpole, I know you read my explanation and since this is really dark shit you *have* to at least give me context D: because among the warnings that the grimoire gave me, there's the thing that you become somewhat cursed S: ...Or you're cursed or you're not, there's no "somewhat" D: He speaks! 🙌 D: Give me *the deets* *long pause* D: *Shinichi Kudo* ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ S: Okay, fine! I can feel your disappointed stare all the way to Japan, stop! >Д< D: Then explain S: Okay S: so you know how I can't leave things alone when they have suspicious all printed on them? D: Your worst defect, yes, but continue D: ...wait D: Shinichi no D: HOW OLD ARE YOU NOW?? S: Still 17, thank you very much D: I mean physically, you little shit, don't dodge the question! S: ... S: ...we think 7 D: What in the Infinite Realms everloving fuck, Shinichi D: Okay, you know what? D: I'm coming to Japan and you can't stop me, you *midget*, I know what you're already going to say D: it's dangerous, yada yada D: nothing I've already seen and fought S: What do you mean?! D: Since you're *such a good detective*, deduce it yourself D: give me your coordinates in the meantime and don't you dare move from that spot S: If you send me Superman or anyone of his creek, I swear to Kami, Danny D: Please, Superman could only desire to be anything like me, now *coordinates* ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ *coordinates sent* D: good boy D: now get ready in 3 S: 3 what? D: 2 D: 1

🕵️👻

A full body shiver run over Shinichi as soon as the "1" appeared on the screen, so he looked up from his phone, searching for where the cold draft could have come from. However, the agency toilet window was closed and the closed door had a good insulation, last time he had checked.

So what...!

"Boo."

Shinichi shrieked with all the high pitch of an elementary schooler, as he whirled around to look at what, or better, who had whispered by his ear.

A white-haired green-eyed floating teenager with a black hazmat suit with white accents grinned almost maniacally at him, showing their fangs predatorily.

Anatomically they looked male and despite the unhinged expression, the body language didn't project "danger". If anything, it was loose and casual as if he (until otherwise stated) belonged here.

The unearthly glow suggested either some substance coating him that gave him that illusion, or there was magic afoot.

Irritation surged inside Shinichi: Danny knew his rules! No direct superhero meeting, only exchange of intel!

"Who are you and why did Fenton send you?" Shinichi gritted, crossing his arms to appear less like a 7 years old.

"You disappoint me, little detective, I thought you would have figured it out at first glance!" The supposed hero pouted, crossing legs and arms midair and staring back at Shinichi. "I guess that your fame had been an exaggeration, after all. Some East Highschool Detective you are!"

The teasing little smirk incensed Shinichi more than alarming him (the other knew his secret!), but the last thought made him pause.

Danny wouldn't betray him like this by informing whatever "superhero" of this situation just to help him without his consent. Their boundaries had been awesome like that and had been respected so far, despite the many trials both had faced.

So who was this person really?

Shinichi's mind focused back into deducing the teen before him, and the more looked, the more disbelief made way in his heart. (...He had said he would be coming to Japan, but not in that instant!)

"No way, Danny?"

"Fucking finally, midget! What took you so long?" Danny huffed, untangling then touching down on his feet and looking him over. "It even gave me time to take a look at your situation!"

"Hey! Your voice is different, so I could deduce it only because "if you exclude the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the Truth"! Since you would never spill my secrets to anyone, this must have been you!" Shinichi gestured to his friend, who flushed green when he registered the meaning of the words.

"Wow," he breathed, sounding pleased, as he scratched his nape, "you would believe that a ghost of me is still me instead of me betraying you, wow!"

"Wait, ghost? I thought you just become a superhero, not that you died!" Despite his insistence on not believing the supernatural, Shinichi had read the Fentons' papers on ghosts (the most recent ones, AKA the "no more biased version" as Danny had called them). And, while he hadn't told his friend this, the scientific breakdown of what makes a ghost what they are, had made Shinichi believe in the existence of ectoplasmic beings.

But to discover that one of his best friends had died, he hadn't known or could have done anything, plus Danny hadn't felt safe enough to tell him until it had become unavoidable, made Shinichi clutch his heart in agony and despair.

Probably sensing the shift and interpreting the action for what that was, Danny's face shifted into regret, as he knelt down before the shrunk detective and a ring of light lit up at his waist, washing over him and leaving a hoodie-and-jeans-clad raven-haired and blue-eyed teenager.

Slowly, as if not to spook a frozen Shinichi, Danny laid a hand on his shoulder, while the other took the free little hand to his NASA hoodies chest and splayed it there, allowing him to feel his heartbeat. As if he had known that only words wouldn't have been enough to convince the detective.

Slowly but surely, feeling Danny's sluggish but steady heartbeat, made Shinichi unclench, then lean against his friend's chest, head tucked under his chin.

Carefully, Danny wrapped his friend in a hug, knowing well that, while physical affection was welcome from him, Japanese social conventions and the Kudo's upbringing had left Shinichi a little adverse to prolonged contact.

As the apparent 7-years-old melted into the embrace and clutched Danny as well, followed by a suspicious wet sensation on his chest, the halfa realized that this was bad.

Shinichi had never sought comfort like that, according to professor Agasa (who Danny did keep in contact with, since he was more a parent than the Kudos), so to do this now...

"It's okay, Shinichi, I'll explain better what happened to me, but it's not your fault." Shinichi shuddered at these words and buried deeper in the embrace, making guilt shoot through Danny. He had caused this breakdown. The least he could do was to help him through it and some.

"And we're gonna find a way to solve what happened to you, I promise."

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jessicaloons · 2 months

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A N N O U N C E M E N T 🗣️🗣️🗣️

Unfortunately Invisible String comes slowly but steady to an end… only around a handful of chapters are left and I’m ready, well after a little break, to release a new story!

Over the past year, while giving my blood, sweat and tears for Lizzie and Charles, I began with A LOT of new stories…

3 of them are further in their development than the rest so now I want to give you guys the opportunity which story I’ll release next (to be honest I can’t decide myself so I kindly ask you to choose for me 🙈)

I won’t give away too much, it’s just 3 little snippets and you can decide for yourself which story your most intrigued by 😊

These are all stories with Charles, because well, for now I only write for him, I like him the most, sue me 🤷🏻‍♀️

Alright, without any further ado, here we go…

Story 1:

"Celebrate?" Lyra sneered and grabbed her trophy.

"Yes Lyra, I'll celebrate my win. With my girlfriend. With my family. With my friends. I know you can't relate to that, having loved ones here, supporting you..." Charles pressed out through gritted teeth and the look on his team mates face changed.

She swallowed hard, eyes started stinging with tears as she walked away, leaving her trophy behind

"Mate!" Max looked at his frenemy with big eyes.

"What? She can dish out but not take it?" he shrugged his shoulders but the Dutch driver just shook his head.

"That's not... that was fucked up." Max grabbed his trophy and walked off, following the British driver, calling after her.

The moment Charles had said the words he regretted them already. He went too far. He didn't want to hurt her. He didn't know why there was never someone supporting her. Didn't know her story. Didn't know the reasons. Yet he said the words. He out of all people. Knowing how it was when the support of important people was missing. After losing first Jules and then his father. He groaned frustrated and grabbed his trophy, as well as Lyra's, walking back to the Ferrari hospitality.

"What happened with Lyra?" Fred asked his driver, the moment he stepped inside, putting down the trophies "She came back, stormed into her drivers room and then left immediately..."

"We had a little... how do I say it? I don't even know what it was... we clashed..." the driver sighed and Fred shook his head "It's just... it's never easy with her! She pushes all of my buttons!" the team principal began to laugh and Charles looked at him "What?"

"Oh Charles! Vous êtes comme chien et chat!" Fred chuckled.

"No! No! Stop!" Charles shook his head, walking away. No. He didn't love her. He couldn't. She didn't want him. She said all the things he always wanted to hear from her and then threw it all away. No. He couldn't love her. Not anymore.

Story 2:

Charles Leclerc and I are not dating. He's a nice guy. But that's about it. I focus on my career.

Charles swallowed hard when he watched the live press conference of the German women football team. That would be sorted then. They weren't dating. They were getting along quite well. That was it. They weren't even friends as it seemed. He switched off the tv and leaned back. He felt like a fool. She told him her career was her main focus. She told him to not fall in love with her. And yet he did. He fell. Hard. Too hard. He thought back to Sunday. The way she held him in his arms in his drivers room. Wiped away his tears. Told him she believed in him no matter what. So of course he believed that she might have fallen too. He was wrong. Awfully wrong. When his phone rang he flinched, his heart aching when he saw who called. He grabbed it and almost picked up the call but then he stopped himself. No. Hearing her voice now would kill him. So he kept staring at her face. Over and over again. 7 missed calls later he received a text. A part of him wanted to open it. Wanted to know what she wrote. But another part of him didn't want to get hurt even more. So he threw his phone away. He couldn't handle another punch. Not today.

Story 3:

The hairdresser swiped the last remaining hair off of the ground when the door bell rang and she looked up. A young girl stood in the door. A pretty girl. For some reason the Monegasque woman thought she knew the girl from somewhere.

"Sorry? Umm hi. I'm looking for someone." the girl asked shyly. Not from around. Her French sounded foreign "I'm looking for... Leclerc..."

The older woman rolled her eyes. Of course. Another fangirl of her son. Looking for him in her salon.

"Listen, you girls need to stop. This is my salon. Charles is barely here! Why would he be! So tell your little friends to stop this nonsense, okay?" Pascale said bluntly and Lauren looked at her in confusion.

"Umm? I- I don't know who Charles is? I'm looking for Pascale Leclerc? She umm- she helped my mum years ago. And they kinda stayed in touch for a while... and Mrs. Leclerc told my mum if she ever needs anything she can always contact her..." the young girl explained and the hairdresser looked at her for a moment.

"Susannah Lombardi? Is that your mother?" she asked and Lauren nodded "Rachel? You're Rachel?"

"Umm... yeah... but no- I mean... I changed my name. I'm Lauren. Lauren Millner."

Now, let me know what you think! You can just vote in the poll or maybe leave a little comment what story you would want to read next/ why you voted for that story!

I love interacting with you soooo 👉👈 don’t be shy, I promise I don’t bite!

Anyways, thanks for reading!

Love, Jess ♥️

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc 16 #charles leclerc f1 #charles leclerc fic #formula 1 #formula 1 fanfic #f1 writing #f1 fandom #f1 fiction #new fic

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