#which btw i am aware they were probably going for 4 in the first game with the divine beasts but it didn't really come across

[autistickaitovocaloid]

I get why they made lightning yellow in totk however I do miss when it was green. I love how eerie everything looked because of it.

[tekutiger]

I recently downloaded Final Fantasy VII Ever Crisis on Steam because, well, 1) I've always been a FF7 fan, 2) FF7rb just released and with it everyone including myself is riding this wave of FF7 hype, 3) I'm not ready for the FF7 stuff to go away again, it's too soon!, and 4) It's free, how could I not?

So far I've sunk...

...into the game 💻💓.

I don't want to make this a spoiler-y post, but I do wanna add some screenies to show some of what to expect with the game. So, it depends on your definition of "spoiler" content.

I won't throw in screenshots of story, but I'll throw in screenshots of "you can unlock this" and "there's this outfit" because that's the primary reason I'm writing this post ⤵️

I saw two people on Twitter posting pictures of Cloud in this very specific armor set and I was like "omg I need that in my life", more specifically in FFXIV. Please make this happen SE (I want this on my Viera and Miqo'te 🙏🏻).

Turns out this outfit is part of a limited time gacha pull event that ends April 7th (might say 8th for some people?)

It's this set here 👇🏻

And it's called:

Saber Style! It comes with a sword for a damage-type set. But me being the noob that I am, I'm still dapling around with all of that. I'm just excited for the glamour tbh 😅

Here's the Sword:

Yeah I know the graphics are blurry as heck 🫠. The game is set to the correct resolution and I have an amazing graphics card and awesome PC specs... it's the game 🙃. Pretty sure it was designed to be a mobile game. Because you CAN link this to your mobile account? Somehow? I don't have this on my phone so I haven't tried but you get 500x free blue crystals (twice) doing so. (which is one of the currencies you can use for gacha pulls btw) 👇🏻

The reason I'm bringing up the outfit first and before everything else is because if you jump into this game, you can get the outfit quickly like I did using the freebies (for gacha pulls) given to you going through the story. It might take a bit of going through the story to do, but that's what I saved mine up for.

Just make sure you redeem all the things~ story mode, daily quests, login bonuses, enhancement quests, missions, season pass, etc. There's a lot.

Then you have to earn stamps on this stamp card...

I don't have the best luck in the world, so if you're anything like me, you're going to get 2 stamps at a time.

They disclose the rate percentages:

Be aware, you can only earn stamps via the 10-pulls, not the single pulls.

I think I've covered everything regarding the outfit/glamour.

They have unlockable wallpapers in this game. This is aesthetic and afaik it's only while you're in the game. Maybe these can be used on your phone if the game is installed on your phone? 🤔

I only have a few being new and all.

Again, I know. The resolution and it being blurry 😅

The one with Cloud and him being in the outfit- you can see Zack in the background. I wonder if there was a gacha event prior where you were able to obtain this outfit for him, or if there's going to be one after where we'll be able to obtain this outfit for him? 🤔 Time to start saving more crystals! Lol

Logically, this probably should have been the first thing I posted, but I was eager to get the outfit/glamour knowledge out there.

Ever Crisis is kind of like three stories crammed into one. Not full stories, but little tidbits of information and some of it are things we haven't seen before. (It might be full stories and it'll come back around, full circle 🤷🏻‍♀️)

I'll admit it's not what I was expecting it to be, in a good way, and I'm enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would.

At first I was playing the top part and it played out a lot like the beginning of the OG- then it slipped into Crisis Core, and I was like okay... did I accidentally hit Crisis Core in the Home Menu? Oops. But that's what the game wants you to do. And then it slips you into The First Soldier, which is where I'm at now.

The First Soldier has a good bit of story about Glenn and it's making me realize I don't really know much about him. So I appreciate this a lot. While at the same time it's kind of like, darnnit SE don't make me like another one of your characters that I already know the fate of 🫠

Do you love Chocobos?!

They have a smol Chocobo Ranch section! I have absolutely no idea how indepth this section goes (once again, I'm nub to the game), but I thought this was adorable 🫶🏻

What I do know, is that you can send out a "character" and one of your cutie birbs to an area and they'll return with some items after some duration period. (Reminds me of retainers in FFXIV to an extent)

There's a lot more I could potentially post (and was going to) but this is already getting long.

This game is free and worth giving it a try imo!

I kind of wish they made my favorite character optional to play but I understand why he's not. He's a boss in co-op 😂 (it's rough being a Rufus fangirl sometimes). You gotta admit Rufus + the Turks being optional to play somewhere would be totally awesome 💓

Edit: I just learned Rufus is in the story (level 33) and also later on as a Story Party boss. I get to see him multiple times 😊🫶🏻. If that's not incentive to keep playing, I don't know what is.

I also find one of Cloud's Limit Break lines insanely cute for some reason. At first I thought he was saying something like "Fuuran" but it doesn't translate into anything. When I did some digging I found a post pointing out that he's saying "Huryah!", much like "Hoo-rah"- as military soldiers do. Now I just think it's even cuter akdjaklsdj 😊

[bahamutgames]

Afterthoughts: Legacy Collection

Game: Megaman Legacy Collection (August 25, 2015)

Console: Nintendo Switch

And here we go! My first game of 2023 was the Megaman Legacy Collection! Megaman 1-6 all done and done! That’s like, what, 46 Robot Masters? I don’t know I can’t do math and I’m too lazy to pull up the calculator! Same as before, I’ll just keep sharing my afterthoughts here until twitter fixes up its issue with threads (if it ever does ahaha... hah... ugh.)

Unlike the Cowabunga Collection (which was made by the some studio, btw!) I won’t be writing about each of these games on their own since, even though they’re all different, they don’t differ quite as much as the TMNT games which were genuinely almost completely different games depending on which console you played it on. Instead I’ll be just sharing my thoughts on the whole first half of classic megaman as a whole with little bits about each game as I go.

And as always, this is NOT a review! And should NOT be taken as such! For both the full package and each game in of itself, I am just throwing up my thoughts and feelings that I had while playing the game! Please don’t take anything I say as a knock towards or against playing it. If you’re interesting in any game I ever talk about, please check it out for yourself!

SPOILER WARNING FOR THE FIRST 6 MEGAMAN GAMES! IT’S MEGA MADNESS!!

Opening

So as I’m sure some of you all are aware. I’ve become a bit of a Megaman fan lately. Specifically for the X and Zero games. A few years back a friend of mine randomly bought me the X Legacy Collection 1 just as a random act of kindness and I became totally hooked! I played all 8 X games and jumped into the 4 Zero games (which is my favorite MM series of all time, Zero is one of the coolest edgy bad boys made in a lab EVER!)

And recently I watched an 8 hour video about Megaman Lore, and I’ll be honest it got me VERY interested in checking out the classic Megaman games! I’ve always had respect for them, but I never really sunk my teeth into any of them (except 7 which I played a bit as a kid). I’m glad I got to give them a shot cause they’re certainly very interesting!

Stuff I liked

As you can probably guess, as a fan of the X and Zero games. There’s a lot to like about classic Megaman. It’s got robots, a cute main character, fun character designs, great visuals, great music, and pretty good gameplay. Let’s start with the characters, I LOVE the characters in these games! Megaman and Roll obviously look amazing, but the enemies and robot masters all look fantastic! Well, some of the robot masters can be hit or miss but for the most part they’re GREAT looking! (Some favorites from each being Fire man, Quick Man, Needle/Snake Man, Skull/Toad Man, Napalm Man, Blizzard/Knight Man. In terms of their designs at least. The less said about Quick Man’s fight the better.) And the enemies are all super charming and silly like mets, and all the lovely robot bug designs like dragon flies and beetles! Obviously I prefer my characters to look edgier and more anime motifed, like X and Zero. But I’m a Mario guy originally so I can’t help but be absolutely in love with these cute and cartoony robots that these early games present. As of right now I think my favorite character from the classic games is Protoman, I haven’t met Bass yet but Protoman seems the most like my type.

Then the visuals. Man, those visuals. These games look GREAT especially for NES. The earlier ones don’t look as good as the later ones (obviously) but they still look pretty nice! But man, once you reach 4/5/6? They REALLY figured out how to make NES games look CRAZY good! I was seriously blown away by some of these games, I actually did not believe they were all NES games and had to double check. In my opinion they actually look like fan games that TRY to replicate the NES style but wildly overshoot what the NES was actually capable. But no, these were real NES games. For real. It’s nuts to me. And a lot of the menus and stuff look nicer and nicer with each game, cutscenes look better and better. Some of the cutscene art in MM6 genuinely looked like SNES stuff to me. That Capcom Logo? I swear to GOD that was an SNES game dude. What the hell. Music is pretty nice too but sadly I actually don’t have a lot of the stage or boss themes stuck in my head like I did with X or Zero. However, yeah, that Wily Stage theme from MM2 that’s stupid popular really is AMAZING for no reason. I’ll give it that.

Then the actual gameplay and levels themselves are pretty good! It’s standard Megaman stuff, so you know what’s up. Fight 8 bosses at the end of stages, get their powers, and use them to beat the rest of the bosses. Rinse and repeat. It’s a basic formula but it works REALLY well, even this early into the series. And by the time you reach Megaman 6 the gameplay becomes MASSIVELY improved. Sliding on the ground is GREAT, I LOVE fusing with Rush to get new forms (the way it’s handled in 6 where it’s weaker but you have infinite use of it is my favorite!), and of course Charge Shots! It’s very simple, but very fun! Again, not as good as X and Zero which REALLY perfect on it with wall jumping and such. But I wasn’t expecting it to be better. It’s still REALLY good! And a lot of the stages themselves are VERY cool and have really good gimmicks! I like when there’s low gravity and you can jump higher, I was surprised to see a vehicle section in MM6. I think my favorite stage gimmick was Gravity Man’s stage, with sections you’d have to do upside down. It’s pretty dang cool, especially for an NES game!

As for the Legacy Collection itself? Pretty good! Like Cowabunga Collection is has a lot of art and bonus content, and it adds save states, rewinding, and full button remapping to each game! Considering how cheap it gets (I got it for like $7) it’s a pretty damn good collection!

Stuff I didn’t like

Yeah, sadly, even though these games are clearly pushing the NES to its limits... They’re still NES games if you catch my drift. Thankfully the Legacy Collection comes with rewind, because straight up these games would probably be impossible without it. I know they’re not ACTUALLY impossible but. These games have some bullshit in them. Like, massive enemy spam, enemies with bizarrely small hitboxes that you CANNOT hit without insanely pinpoint accuracy, stuff like that. Basically, I think the Megaman series, and especially these classic games are filled to the BRIM with bullshit that would just not fly in any other series. And it kinda just gets a pass for being Megaman. Like the amount of times you have to make blind jumps, only to get instakilled for blind jumping in the wrong direction. How is that fair? Or good? It’s not. Again I played it with rewind so who am I to talk, but come on. Why?

Similarly, but less bad, I think these games have a bit of an issue with not knowing when to end. Of course these games need to have levels at the end after the robot masters, it’d be way too short and anti climactic if they didn’t... But DAMN do they ALL have to be headaches? Can they be fun? They’re all so long and especially towards the end you have to go through 2 different fortresses, made up of 4-5 levels each, managing your weapon ammo all the way through. It’s just so tiring. And they all have boss rushes where you refight the old bosses which thankfully goes by pretty quickly since you have all the weapons. But still this is SUCH a chore and something that wouldn’t fly in any other series. Oh well.

Lastly, and this one is a bit more of a nitpick. I know these games have a lot of plot in their manuals and 8 hour long deep dive videos about them. But I wish the game itself contained more story. I was pretty pleased with the in game cutscenes which games like 5 had, or the rather nicely drawn cutscene images in 6. But I feel like they should have more story in between the robot masters? I know it’s NES but Ninja Gaiden had LOTS of cutscenes on NES? But also Ninja Gaiden wasn’t one of the best looking NES games of all time so maybe that’s what stopped Megaman from going nuts with its cutscenes.

Final Thoughts

Which one of these does Zero show up in again?

No I’m just messing. Yeah, classic Megaman 1-6 hasn’t aged perfectly. And is filled with a LOT of bullshit that would NOT SLIDE in any other series. But despite shortcomings in some areas, these games do hold up pretty well. If nothing else, their presentation in sprites and music are AMAZING. Genuinely pushing the NES so much farther than I thought was possible. They had crazy visuals that seriously made me think I was playing an SNES game at some points.

I had the second half of the collection too, but I’ll be playing those later. Steaming through 6 Megaman games in a few days was already a lot to take in. But I am very interested to see where the next 4 go, and how I feel about Bass (the resident bad boy). I still absolutely prefer X and Zero (nothing will ever dethrone the Zero games) but I had a great time with these earlier Megaman titles. I guess I’m a full fledged Mega Man guy now... Did you notice how I kept writing Mega Man with no space this whole time? I didn’t realize until JUST now. Oops. I’m not fixing it.

Unrelated, but after playing these games I went back to play as Mega Man in Smash Bros (which I always do whenever I play a game that has content in Smash... Or Playstation Allstars.) and can I just say that making Mega Man’s moveset and color schemes must have been SO hard! There’s SO MUCH TO CHOOSE FROM! Must have been why he’s one of the only characters who had really good custom moves in Smash 4. My favorite alt is either the Red+White (rush) one or the Green+White ones. In case you were wondering.

===

Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed listening to me ramble on about old as hell video games these past few days. The game I’m currently playing is a little newer and a little less arcadey. So look forward to hearing my thoughts on THAT... whenever the hell I beat it.

In the mean time, you can follow my twitter for more art and gaming wackiness! I’m always posting SOMETHING there because I’ve got a lot to say and talking about video games is the only thing that gets me through the hard days of cooking and cleaning and working.

That’s all from me for now. Thanks for always indulging me in my video game talks. Go out and play a popular game you’ve been interested in!

[fedzkun]

Villain Hunt Arc Meta: All For One’s Horrific Guide to Methodically Breaking Down Your Local OFA Holder

Ft. Turning the ‘Overpoweredness’ of OFA into a Setback, and AFO’s Successful Manipulations Of Midoriya Izuku

In which I also give AFO too much credit for all the pain he’s probably caused, and theorize that his plans to break Izuku actually started getting enacted even before he’d escaped Tartarus.

(A.k.a. me loving the angst because this is really good angst writing, but also hating it because the manga doesn’t come with a Angst with A Happy Ending tag unless you count Izuku’s ‘this is the story of how I became the greatest hero’ which isn’t really a guarantee of happiness )

So. What an arc! In the span of ten chapters (starting from the end of the War arc) Hori delivered a full-on Villain-looking, Vigilante Midoriya Izuku. Congratulations, Horikoshi, for finally introducing Akatani Mikumo!

The fast pacing and lack of breather panels are so fitting for this arc truly. AFO never gave them a moment’s rest. Yes, from henceforth as he’d promised... It’s always going to be his turn.

Izuku is making amazing progress with unlocking the full power of One For All. In his words, his abilities might as well already be on par with what a healthier All Might could do, and with no recoil to boot. Plus, there’s only one last quirk to unlock. For villain fights, I don’t think we need to worry about him losing, or him breaking anymore bones at this time.

Which, some might argue, makes Izuku too ‘OP.’

To start with, I want to talk first about the ‘overpoweredness’ of the One For All quirk. It’s a wonderful quirk truly, having inspired and amazed so many because of its sheer power. Used well, it could grant instant victories and restore the people’s wavering faith to the heroes. Because with a quirk like that on your side, everything’s going to be alright, right? There’s always gonna be that bit of hope that something is still strong enough to stand against the looming evil...right?

Yeah. That’s what the people who’d lived under All Might’s Era of Peace thought so too. History repeats.

OFA’s ‘OP-ness’ is both a great blessing and a great burden.

Here are some points on how the narrative has made OFA's 'overpoweredness' a setback:

1. All For One—that bastard—exploits the urge that comes with OFA. Just as ‘AFO the quirk’s’ goal is to steal OFA, OFA’s job is to defeat AFO, and Izuku is sacrificing himself to its cause.

Here’s another thing I want to point out: The conclusion that the heroes drew about AFO planning to capture Midoriya Izuku alive? In rereading, I’m starting to believe it’s nothing but a mere assumption of his plans. Aside from the deal made with Lady Nagant—of which I think AFO didn’t take seriously anyway and set her up for failure— (and while we as readers are already aware of his true intentions to wear Izuku down) it’s weird that nowhere had AFO directly mentioned to Izuku that he’s going to kidnap him and take his quirk from him.

2. OFA made Izuku so brilliant (e.g. Pros and former Pros alike going “This kid...”) that they really can't help but place all their hopes on him. Sighs. In an ideal world, this would be a dream come true of Izuku getting his due credit for all his heroic achievements Pro heroes have started to do to Izuku what they’ve done all their lives to All Might--which is to put him on the pedestal, while they fall back to cover him like guards/safety net. Hence, falling back to the One Pillar Model mindset.

3. OFA makes Izuku untouchable, not only to the villains, but also to his allies. Prime material to reinforce isolation. And if Izuku doesn't want to be caught, he won't make it easy for either side.

4. OFA IS SUS AF, OKAY? What are the Holders doing?! While gaining access to them makes it easier and convenient to have personal trainers in handling OFA, the vestiges prove to add a lot to Izuku’s mental load. If they’d allowed Izuku to come to the point of being caked with blood and filth, they’re not doing very well at guiding him. Realize that most of their arc interactions with Izuku is Quirk Talk. They, of all people, should know how AFO’s machinations work! Hey First, for the love of god, warn Izuku! He’s showing so many signs of being manipulated that you should be picking up on. please /sobs ;;

Tbf, like, I’m pretty sure that the Holders haven’t been as mentally okay either, which would feed into Izuku’s current mindset.

Now that the setbacks have been listed, let’s dive in to AFO’s plans to toy with Midoriya Izuku.

PHASE 1: Pre-Tartarus Breakout

Speaking of OFA being sus, there’s something that has been niggling at the back of my mind.

All For One basically tells Izuku: “You were my main interest that entire time I was in prison”. So, to pass the time in Tartarus (since he can’t use any(?) of his quirks), AFO has been doing nothing but apparently daydreaming and designing a personal hell for the Ninth Holder during that entire period. HOWEVER, it also made me wonder…

…Even before he’d broken out, had AFO made any moves at all in enacting his plans to break Izuku?

Yeah?

And here’s the kicker: he says that before Blackwhip bursted out.

AFO is a master manipulator. Assuming that Izuku doesn’t have any latent AFO quirk (for whatever reason *coughs* maybe dfo if you're a believer) or that Quirk Singularity has anything to do with it, what is the trigger to Izuku suddenly having access to Blackwhip?

I’d argue that it is All For One himself.

Why? What’s his goal? If you notice during the Joint Training arc, Izuku is feeling pretty confident about his progress. He’s rather happy and feeling blessed, and he is making leaps and bounds with base power OFA.

AFO can’t have that. He can’t allow the Ninth Holder to become too emotionally stable, or else he’d have a stronger will. So by somehow activating Blackwhip, AFO makes Izuku feel like he hasn’t made any progress with his quirk at all. During the evaluations, Izuku mentions that he still needs a lot to work on, and while not all of it is visible, with the way he behaves, it’s pretty evident that his self-confidence has taken a rather large hit.

But, wait! If AFO had tampered with OFA during the JT arc, paving the way to unlocking the rest (like he’d also done during the War arc when he tried to ‘steal’ it then), then wouldn’t AFO be sabotaging himself since he’d be making Izuku a more formidable opponent?

Sure. Except that the quirks inside OFA are mostly useless when it comes to the mental part of the fighting. The only thing they’re useful for is for the current Holder to be able to play keep-away in the physical realm. And AFO could easily just find counters for those through his work on Tomura.

You know how else the situation becomes advantageous for AFO? With every quirk unlocked, Izuku’s goalposts keep on getting away from him, and Izuku will always feel like he isn’t ready or prepared enough. Izuku will push and push himself to master OFA to its fullest, to become more powerful, at the cost of his mental/emotional stability and physical wellbeing as he wears himself down.

And every time Izuku grew more powerful, and became more ‘OP,’ he is burdened with all the aforementioned setbacks that came with it. He could be the most powerful person in the world, but it’s all for naught if he doesn’t take care of himself. This plan is both a high risk and high reward on AFO’s part, and as of the moment, with a bloody Izuku staggering all over, AFO is visibly reaping these high rewards.

PHASE 2: Post-Tartarus Breakout

He’s going to toy with Izuku until Izuku fucking breaks. What follows is his series of actions that instills the desired responses from Midoriya Izuku. Let’s see how the master manipulator plays this game of chess, shall we?

Izuku’s plan: Reach out to villains and try to save them.

AFO’s counter: Kill off those who turn their back against villainy and/or acknowledge Izuku as a true hero.

Izuku’s resulting response: Stop reaching out to villains. Gain an instant victory and move on.

After all, what do you get when you block a hero from showing sympathy? You get an unfeeling living weapon.

---

Izuku’s plan: Work with the top pro heroes to bring down AFO.

AFO’s counter: Make plans that will serve to highlight how the top pros are just slowing Izuku down. (e.g. Making moves while it’s raining, so as to divide them, but also to bring out No. 1 Hero Endeavor’s "slowness" in the rain. Nope, I don’t think that’s a throwaway line at all.)

Izuku’s resulting response: Grows more reckless, often leading the charge.

---

Izuku’s plan: Track AFO down.

AFO’s counter: Lead them to dead-ends. Or when they do supposedly reach something, endanger them.

Izuku’s resulting response: His tunnel vision worsens, as he grows more desperate.

---

Izuku’s plan: All Might following him around is okay since it would help All Might from worrying so much, and Izuku could simultaneously keep an eye on and protect All Might.

AFO’s counters: There are a lot to really fuck with this bond, damn you AFO.

Taint that passing the torch memory of ‘You’re Next.’

Declare that All Might no longer interests him. Liar. He outright stated before that he’s one for keeping a grudge

Send another assassin to Izuku [Underlying Message: You yourself are a walking danger zone to those whom you dearly care for.]

Izuku’s resulting response:

Interpret that memory of ‘You’re Next’ as taking up the position of being AFO’s shiny new plaything, and therefore supposedly sparing All Might from the torment (Unfortunately, making Izuku push AM away is just part of the torment ;A;)

Think that AM is no longer in the direct line of fire as long as AFO focuses on Izuku

Finally, push his last line of morale support away, and completely isolate himself.

Btw, I wonder how All Might feels about Izuku using Nana's quirk to get away from him.

---

The suffering doesn’t end.

Izuku’s plan: Save people.

AFO’s counters: (possibly offscreen) Send more villains and assassins to torment Izuku some more with the knowledge that he can’t save them. Sending villains out also puts innocents in danger.

Izuku’s resulting response: He won’t stop for anything. He won’t sleep, won’t eat, won’t slow down. He will always do his best to save as long as someone is in danger.

His body will keep on moving and moving and MOVING on its own.

--- All For One is very effective as a supervillain. He has managed to make the heroes think that his only goal is to capture Izuku alive for his quirk. He has Izuku right where he wants him: dancing to his tune at the palm of his hand, utterly toyed with, left with no escape in sight.

Psychologically vaulted.

.

.

.

PHASE 3

And so, if Izuku is being manipulated to drive himself further and further into self-destruction, what then is there left for All For One to do?

So much more. Because, my god, I think AFO has mastered the art of traumatizing the OFA Holders.

All For One once told All Might, “I will destroy all that you’ve protected.” And boy, is he delivering. He's definitely not done with AM btw.

First, he destroys All Might's image. And he is manipulating Izuku to drive himself to that point. To looking into his absolute worst.

And when that point arrives, AFO will hammer the final nail home.

Something like...

BEHOLD

JAPAN’S SYMBOL OF PEACE.

And oh, how it'll hurt. To see All Might's pride and joy be flaunted about as looking nothing like a hero to the masses, for him to be so utterly humiliated.

"See what I did to All Might's successor."

AFO will be banking upon the possibility that the angry masses will not want to be saved by whom they're tricked into viewing as someone that's the cause of all the pain. Izuku might have the willpower to stay true to his resolve, but with him on the verge of total breakdown, what would happen when he is shunned by the very people he is trying to help?

I once wrote a post about how the current events seem to be a bastardization of Izuku's wildest fantasies: he's working with the top pros, he has the most powerful quirk, and he's working with All Might (whom technically acts as a sidekick to him rn).

AFO has warped all that into a never-ending nightmare. And Izuku...

Izuku is really in need of saving.

Last thoughts:

Let me just say that it shouldn't be a competition about who gets to get through to Izuku. Right now, he’s gonna need all the help he can get, and it can’t be delivered by only one or two people. Saving Izuku is going to be a team effort, a solid support system that sees Izuku as their classmate/friend/student/actual person that they care about. And there’s sufficient space for that.

More hands reaching out means more chances to catch him if he falls.

[butterflydm]

starting my re-read of the great hunt (prologue-chap 8)

Some thoughts on the book and potential adaption changes (no spoilers past book 2 except for a line that I THINK is from book 2 but I’m not certain, but it’s just backstory stuff anyway, but I do talk about later stuff in book 2):

1. Okay, already introducing Siuan and all things Aes Sedai politics plus having Padan Fain make off with the horn & dagger in S1 completely cuts out at least the first hundred to hundred-and-fifty pages of the book right off the bat (excepting the Darkfriend social, of course. Man, I’d love to see a version of that in the show; not sure how likely it is). They will still need to introduce Verin, but Alanna’s already been covered as well, and in a lot more detail than she was given here. And Rand already knows he’s the Dragon, so he doesn’t need Siuan to tell him (though that IS a fantastic scene) and Min already told him about the Blood Snow as well. We’re probably going to lose most of the Fal Dara stuff tbh, maybe all of it, since they could easily start in media res with Perrin already hunting for the Horn with Ingtar, Masema, & Uno, and with E&N on the way to the White Tower or there already.

But it’s interesting to think about how the knowledge of Rand being the Dragon in the show could impact the characterization of the other characters. Where I am with my re-read, Egwene and Nynaeve know that he can channel but Mat and Perrin don’t even know that much yet (do they find out at Falme? I will keep rereading and find out!), and Rand is the only one of the five who knows that the Dragon Reborn is a consideration that’s on the table at all. In the show, Mat, Perrin, Egwene, and Nynaeve have all had time to think about the possibility of one of them being the Dragon, which comes along with the assumption that said Dragon will be able to channel.

2. Not sad to be losing Moiraine stealing all Rand’s clothes. Moiraine 100% got a glow-up in the show. She’s still very political and a good player of The Game, but she’s not STEALING people’s CLOTHES. Like, just explain to him that you’re worried his old clothes can be traced by the Dark One’s forces! Or have Lan do it, if you’re worried he won’t listen to you. Rand absolutely would listen to Lan and you know it (of course, this is also the period when Moiraine and Lan start the process of pulling away from each other, so there’s that).

3. I imagine Rand letting everyone think he’s dead is going to be doing the work that him actively trying to push people away did at the start of TGH. Also this from Mat when he’s hurt and pushing back against Rand telling them he doesn’t want to travel with them: “If that is how you want it,” he said coldly. “I thought we were... However you want it, al’Thor.”  I mean, he was going to say friends, presumably, but those ellipses are haunting me this February day.

4. “He had grown up thinking he would marry Egwene one day; they both had.” Revisionist history! In EotW, he mentions feelings of confusion around Egwene, that she has been “making him increasingly jittery” for the “past year” and that “she did not even seem to be aware of it”. He’s obviously been getting a crush on her and his father thinks it’s sweet and his friends are teasing him about it, but there’s no mention of them having a future marriage agreement of any kind or even thoughts in that direction. And then, in their first actual on-page conversation in EoTW, Egwene essentially pre-breaks-up with him (this is all from my old 1990 copy of the book, btw, before the Ravens prologue was added).

In EotW, he asks her if she wants to dance later on and she pointedly lets him know that she’s old enough to get married now and Rand hilariously kinda freaks out about it and says “Just because someone is old enough to marry, doesn’t mean they should. Not right away.” to which Egwene lets him know that Nynaeve has told him that she can learn to listen to the wind and that Wisdoms almost never marry, and there is no indication that she’s breaking off a betrothal or going against even an unspoken agreement in the text (if they did have an ‘understanding’ of any kind then Egwene kinda pulled an asshole move there tbh, by first letting him know that she’s old enough to marry now and then immediately going ‘but I probably won’t lolz’). Rand is upset about it, because he’s been developing feelings, but it all comes across as pre-relationship stuff.

So right at the start of TGH is where the retcon of Egwene and Rand’s relationship to make it retroactively more serious happens, I guess, lol. I’m curious why RJ decided to do this tbh, since he was still planning on having them ‘break up’ again in this book (I think? I’ll see when I get there! Memory mildly foggy), and Min already gave her viewing in book one that “he was not for her, nor she for him, not in the way they both want” and then Min, I’m pretty sure, does some more weird sorta ‘claiming Rand as hers’ stuff at the end of this book, iirc (kinda glad this aspect of her character feels like it was removed or played down in the show tbh). Maybe just so that Rand could have more complicated feelings about ‘Selene’ and give him a reason why he wouldn’t just be all-in on her once she shows up? I’ll keep an eye out and see if I can spot the reasoning as I go. I wonder if this is the book where the bit about the village girls avoiding Rand because Egwene had essentially marked him as hers comes from -- I have a VIVID memory of this line, enough that I’ve basically woven it into all my cauthor stories so far as part of the Rand/Egwene backstory -- but could not find it in EotW during my re-read.

5. I am INTENSELY curious about what the state of Egwene’s hair will be in S2. They’ve made the braid have a personal and emotional symbolism to Egwene that it doesn’t ever have in the books (I think she stops wearing it like two days after meeting Moiraine lol), so I wonder if she’s going to keep wearing her hair in a braid for a while or if she will undo it once she’s a novice.

6. So far, the increased Egwene/Rand backstory seems to be used to goad Rand into action at Fal Dara to try to find her to protect her.

7. Hmm, I wonder if Moiraine sending the Red Ajah after Mat is meant to replace Fain stealing the dagger, plot/character-wise, since a lot of Rand’s motivation in book two comes from chasing after the dagger to try to help Mat, if I recall correctly. With how much emotional focus they put on Rand’s relationship with Mat in S1 (and how much they chose to parallel/contrast it against his relationship with Egwene), I’m... curious about what will happen in S2 in that regard, if they’ll still make Mat’s safety and health a priority for Rand or if they will focus on other things (by not having him find out about it).

8. The first reveal about Verin is such an amazing moment. I love her so much. Best Aes Sedai ever, no competition, no one was ever this much of a badass. I hope her introduction in the show gives me chills the way us finding out in the books that she’s figured out that Moiraine and Siuan are hiding the Dragon Reborn from everyone does.

I also love Verin poking holes in the whole “men and women can’t teach each other” saying about birds and fish. She’s just great.

9. Ah, this goodbye between Rand and Egwene at the end of chapter eight reminds me of what we got with them in episode seven, emotion-wise. Sort of the sense of a goodbye (more from Rand’s side than Egwene’s, as he’s sure he won’t see her again once he leaves and she’s determined that she will be able to help him -- so, yes, very like the scene in episode seven).

I’m 150 pages into the book and everyone is finally about to leave Fal Dara, lol.

[thatoneitaliangirl]

Interesting Dreams

I really think I have an issue with otome games- Ikemen in particular. Like, I had the weirdest dream last night, and I mostly blame otome games. It was one of those dreams that are dramatic and feel like your watching a movie, but they also are so fucking random and are jumping all over the place- at one point there was a boy dressed in a cape and I called him out for being suss and he said in a fake posh British accent, whilst swooshing his cape mind you,

“I’m sorry, you see, I have stage 4 ADHD.” And I was just so confused, I was like,

“Did you just compare your ADHD to cancer?” 

The main part of my dream is why I’m here today to tell you this fanciful story. 

Basically, I was some beautiful vampiric woman with a dramatic backstory. I don’t remember everything, but I was living in a mansion with some other people, and I had been turned into a vampire. What does that sound like, hmm? Unfortunately, the people I was living with were not great historical figures, or even vampires, we were just all misfits with no where to go, living together in this large creepy mansion in the middle of nowhere. And when I say creepy, I mean this place was like something out of Scooby Doo. Dark, gloomy, and it even had a freaking cemetery in the back. In my tragic back story, I was married to some noble or something. I remember that our clothes looked fancy and that we were probably rich, and it was like late 1700′s early 1800′s or so. We had a son who was maybe about 6 or 7, and in the beginning I had thought that both of them were murdered and I was left alive, and afterwards was turned to a vampire for some reason, I don’t know. The thing with being turned into a vampire though was that it came with a curse of sorts. Once turned into a vampire, no one could recognize you, or at least, wasn’t supposed to. I guess that’s a pretty good defense after turning, so you couldn’t be caught, but I don’t know. So, my husband shows up, and it’s like present time at this point, and for some reason I can recognize him, but he can’t recognize me. I’m freaking out, cause one, he’s supposed to be dead, two, I know that it’s him and I’m not supposed to, and three he believes I’m the reason our son died and he recently received news that I’m alive and has been hunting me down to kill me. Now, he has suspicions that I am in fact me, and his time at the manor is spent trying to prove that I am me and wanting to kill me. I don’t know why, but at one point I find myself in the cemetery out back being followed by my husband and the two men he’s traveling with. I’m surrounded by gravestones and its foggy as fuck, and I remember looking back and seeing them. With some quick thinking, I use magic of some sorts and change the name on a random gravestone to my name, which, btw, isn’t my real full name. It’s my real first name, Jenna, with the last name Clemence. Shocker. Though, the man that’s my husband is neither Luka, nor Jonah. I don’t remember my dream ever giving him a first name, but he didn’t look anything like Jonah or Luka. If anything he looked like a mixture of Zen from Mystic Messenger, and Prussia from Hetalia. He had long white hair that was put back in a low ponytail, and it had one of those bows in it you see in men from like the 1700′s. But, after he was turned into a vampire, his hair changed into a dark maroon color and his bangs were a bit more perfect and nice if that makes sense. So, I put my name on this gravestone, and he comes over to me and I point it out to him. I’m like, 

“Oh, I know I have the same first name as your late wife, but look! This appears to be her gravesite! It would seem she has passed after all!” And he’s like super suspicious of me, but he can’t out right prove that I’m his wife, and so he chooses to drop it. Weirdly enough, this is where my dream kind of jumps, because it goes from us being in the cemetery, to me and two other guys from the manor searching the house in which my husband and son had ‘died’ to find out how my husband survived and how he was turned, but that’s where it stops. I remember bits and pieces of the house, that it was really weird and falling apart. Thinking about that house actually gives me weird vibes, I don’t know why. Like just imagining myself being there is creepy I guess. Anyway, my dream jumps from that act to another with an entirely different plot. We’re in the same mansion, but for some reason I’m now an Inhuman with electricity powers, and I’m apart of the Avengers . . . I did binge watch the new Avengers game, so that could be why-

But we’re stuck in the mansion, and for some reason can’t get out. Like it’s not explained or mentioned, I just know that we’re stuck and can’t even set foot outside the mansion. Tony Stark’s arc reactor in his chest starts to malfunction, and the only way to keep it going is to take it out and for me to ‘charge’ it with my powers by putting it in my mouth . . . But not just in my mouth, no, it has to be touching my teeth- I don’t know why, and I never claimed that my dreams make sense- but holding it in my teeth hurts like a bitch, and I remember actually feeling the vibrations in my teeth and how badly it hurt. Like, I find it insane that my dream was so vivid that I can still remember the exact pain I was feeling in my teeth. (Low key, I think this might prove my suspicion that I’m grinding my teeth in my sleep, but I digress) It was really weird. But, to remedy this, Tony creates this blue jelly like stuff to put over my teeth, kind of like a whitening strip, that puts a buffer between my teeth and the vibrations and it stops the pain. A couple of times during this act of my dream, I had to fight things- they were like entities that were in this mansion, and again, while it was never specifically mentioned, I knew in my dream that these things where what was keeping us stuck in there, and that we were trying to hide from them. Kind of like Hetaoni if your apart of the Hetalia fandom. If not, it’s a game (Based on another game) featuring the characters from the anime Hetalia that get stuck in a mansion and can’t leave due to an entity messing with time and keeping them stuck there. And while the mansion gave me weird, creepy vibes, nothing about time was ever mentioned, and the only thing I remember about fighting them was that I was drooling a lot because of the stupid blue shit I had to keep on my teeth and the constant vibrations from charging. My dream had briefly jumped from that to another act where we were still in the mansion, but this time I was a doctor. My doctor name wasn’t my real name, I can only remember that it was long and started with a D. And I literally remember nothing of that part of the dream, but I remember I was a doctor, because at one point I had actually woken up in real life to move, and I heard a voice from behind me whisper ‘Dr. ______’ whatever my name was, and I remember thinking to myself,

“Oh shit, something just said my name. That was creepy, but I’m going to choose to ignore it and go back to sleep.” And after that, I remember nothing. Do I think there was some being whispering in my ear? No, obviously not. What it probably was, was that even though I was awake and had opened my eyes for a couple of seconds, I wasn’t fully awake and was still kind of dreaming. I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but sometimes when I’m falling asleep and I’m in that space where I’m not awake, but I’m still aware of my surroundings and I’m not fully asleep, sometimes I’ll start to hear voices and noises. I’ve always just kind of explained this to myself as my dreams starting to form, but I don’t know if that’s really what it is. What I’m trying to say is that this is what I think the voice was. It was a really freaky dream, and I just find it odd that no matter how much my dream changed it’s story line, it all revolved around that one mansion-

[avauntus]

Supernatural - a retrospective

This is super self-indulgent, and I have so much else I’ve promised-- I owe a long-fic rec post, and ao3 comments, wip work, and that’s just my fandom stuff I’m behind on. *sigh*

But it’s late on a Saturday and now I’ve finished Supernatural, I want to share what I think are my top few eps, and a few other comments. I promise some of this will be different from the “greatest hits” you probably usually see, and I’ll try to make it worth your time. *wry smile*

Look, we have to have categories like: “Most Likely to Live in My Head Rent-Free for the Rest of my Life” and “Most Likely to Inspire Unnecessary Fanfiction” that are different from “Favorites,” because that’s just the cursed energy this show has. ;-)

My top five

#5 - 13.01 - “Lost and Found”

Written by: Andrew Dabb | Directed by: Phil Sgriccia

In fandom, this is most often referred to as the start of the “Grieving Widower” arc, tongue-in-cheek. Also has Alexander Calvert (Jack) walking around completely in the nude for the first third of the ep. (Neither of these are why this is in my top 5, but he has a good story about wardrobe for his ‘first day.’) 

I didn’t expect much out of this episode the first time I watched it, but I’ve gone over this ‘section’ of the show maybe 3-4 times in my Netflix catch-up, and I watch this one in full every time. From Jack being...not at all what anyone expected and an unsteady vindication, to the stunning cinematography (there’s a post that compares shots to Brokeback Mountain, but I think the shots here might be better), to the sheriff who takes the time to remind her deputy that “...there’s no such thing as ‘weird.’ Everyone’s normal in their own way,” to the slow reveal of exactly how hard the events of the previous night (12x23 - All Along the Watchtower) are hitting Dean and Sam and in different ways...(how long the episode takes to reveal to you how Dean fucked up his hand, and what he was saying when he did. Augh!) The Winchesters are trying to rally, but they have been taking hits for a long time, and the cracks are showing.

 #4 - 15.06 - “Golden Time”

Written by: Meredith Glynn | Directed by: John F. Showalter

Supernatural  has a terrible track record with representation in all stripes. It is infamously consistent in killing off anyone minority, female, or non-White. One of the interesting things about the chaotic meta-narrative of season 15 is you can see the lack of fucks some of the writer’s room had to give about not even being subtle about tearing down that type of ‘White-male-hero-journey” now that they were in a literal “what will they do, fire me?” situation.

I’m a Cas fan, and this episode, which gives him an actual, ‘case-of-the-week’ hunter’s narrative where he gets to save the day on his own, successfully, was wonderful. I love that for him! But more than that, for me, this episode is emotional to me for other reasons-- the way Dean and Cas circle around each other on their angry phone call (with the body language! They are broadcasting so LOUD and neither can see because they’re on the phone!), Sam’s story here, where he’s inheriting things from Rowena that allow him in turn to save Eileen, to Cas’ speech and quick anger at the lake when you reflect on his entire journey of self-realization from a soldier of blind faith to an agent of free will... “You selfish little men in your positions of authority...” I just... *clears throat, grabs tissue* 

#3 -  6.20 - “The Man Who Would Be King”

Written & Directed by: Ben Edlund

Speaking of Cas’ journey... I know some folks don’t like the angst and drama of the ‘Heaven and Hell’ plots of Supernatural, but I am here for it. Oh, did we need another reason to include this episode? This has some of the most metal quotes I have heard from any TV show. Ever.

I mean, look at this:

“If I knew then what I know now, I would have said: Freedom is a length of rope. God wants you to hang yourself with it.”

“Explaining freedom to angels is a bit like explaining poetry to fish.”

The delivery of: “It's not too late. Damn it, Cas! We can fix this!” “Dean, it’s not broken!” is one of those Supernatural bits that will live in my head until the end of time. All of Edlund’s episodes are among my favorites, but this (along with “5.04 - The End”) was on another level. 

#2 - 5.16 - “Dark Side of the Moon”

Written by: Andrew Dabb & Daniel Loflin | Directed by: Jeff Wollnough

I think of this episode every time  I hear Bob Dylan sing “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door.” This is kinda a giant montage episode, but the connecting concepts are so...satisfying. 

“Heaven is your favorite memories.” “ It’s called the axis mundi. It’s a path that runs through heaven. Different people see it as different things. For you, it’s two-lane asphalt.” “This is your idea of heaven? Wow, this was one of the worst nights of my life.” “I don’t think I realized how long you’ve been cleaning up Dad’s messes.” “It’s awesome to finally have an application—a practical application—for string theory.” “Everyone leaves you, Dean. You noticed?” “Why is God talking to me? Gardner-to-gardener, and between us, I think he gets lonely.” “You son of a bitch, I believed in... ” Whoosh.

#1 - 4.01 - “Lazarus Rising”

Written by: Eric Kripke | Directed by: Kim Manners

So...this is the episode where Castiel, angel of thee Lord, shows up. And that’s primarily why it earns the no. 1 spot, because 80% of my enjoyment of Supernatural from this point on was Cas-adjacent. Plus this entire episode just hits. ALL OF IT. Dean’s homecoming. Ruby, my darling. Bobby’s entire vibe. Pamela Barnes, easily one of the most interesting women Supernatural ever introduced. Cas being so hot to say “Hi” to Dean he forgets he wounds people. 

But beyond that-- the way the show writes their ‘oh, by the way, angels’ narrative! If you haven’t seen this episode, would you believe me if I told you that THIS EPISODE, the episode where Supernatural said “canonically, Judeo-Christian Heaven is real, btw” involves no churches but does involve a séance, a soulmark handprint brand, and a himbo angel that “gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition”...but they were all “no homo, guys” for years?

Truly no one was out here doing it like Supernatural even back in 2008.

Others--

15.18 - “Despair” 

“Most Likely to Live Rent-Free in My Head for the Rest of my Life”

Written by: Robert Berens | Directed by: Richard Speight, Jr.

You know why this episode is here. It broke reality. I could be wrong-- but I’d put good money on this episode being the subject of academic theses in the future. That doesn’t automatically make for interesting story, but...

Has there ever been a case, in a mainstream US TV show where a major lead character (Cas) came out as queer so late in the game in a narratively-important way? I’m not aware of it, but I might just be behind on my television.

This episode has great writing, and (blessedly) amazing direction and blocking anyway. Check out the above gif - that is some next level foreshadowing going on in the cinematography, and this isn’t even the most remarked upon shot in this episode. (Seriously, I had to search for 40 minutes for this gif, please respect my game, lol.) Everyone who was involved in 15x18 is giddy talking about their investment, from the costume designer to the actors to the director to the writer...

...And then a bunch of them steadfastly have avoided posting much Supernatural-related since. So that’s...loud. There is a bunch of subtext in this episode that is screamingly loud; there is a bunch of text in this episode that makes several things clear fandom has been chattering over for years and years. The meta-commentary around this episode continues, months later. There are over 700 fics on AO3 with this episode tag.

I have more to say about the themes of ‘free will’ and ‘love’ and ‘identity’ tied to this episode, but seriously-- you’ve probably read 17 versions of it on Tumblr already, so.

This is the last time we see Cas, and the last time Supernatural can claim anything close to narrative consistency. For that alone, it’d earn free head-space.

Runners-up: “4.20 - The Rapture”; “5.04 - The End”; “7.21 - Reading is Fundamental”; “8.21 - The Great Escapist”; “9.06 - Heaven Can’t Wait”; “12.19 - The Future”; “14.08 - Byzantium”

6.17 - “My Heart Will Go On”/8.07 - “A Little Slice of Kevin”

“Most Likely to Inspire Unnecessary Fanfiction”

Written by: Eric Charmelo & Nicole Snyder (6.17); Brad Buckner & Eugenie Ross-Leming | Directed by: Phil Sgriccia (6.17); Charlie Carner (8.07)

Usually the show kills off it’s “one-episode” female characters, but do you know one time it didn’t? When the Moirai (the Fates - specifically Atropos, the shearer of the Threads of Fate) showed up in canon in 6.17. She was posited to have “two older sisters that were bigger than her- in every sense of the word,” ...and Castiel had to back down when she challenged him to a cosmic game of chicken over the Winchester’s lives.

Then they never returned to that idea again. 

“A Little Slice of Kevin” is on here for the opposite reason -- an amazing idea that was really underwritten in the episode it showed up in. Dean Winchester has been dragging himself across the fabric of universes; the literal Word of God is in play in a warehouse in Middle America; Cas is back from Purgatory, but what does that mean, micro and macro? As a person on the street, what would it mean, or feel like, to learn you were a Prophet of the Lord, uncalled? That what you are, everything you are, is a cosmic contingency?

Maybe Fate has an opinion on all these shenanigans?

Perhaps all that doesn’t make sense, but it certainly made an impression on ~2012 me. To this day, it remains the WIP I can open up and fool myself with the ‘twist.’ I wish I remembered where I was going with it so I could finish it.

Runners Up: “2.20 - What Is and What Should Never Be”; “5.04 - The End”; “6.15 - The French Mistake”; 12.12 - “Stuck in the Middle (with you)”; “13.05 - Advanced Thanatology” “14.03 - The Scar”; “14.10 - Nihilism”; “15.15 - Gimme Shelter” ... and “15.20 - Carry On” (obviously)

Fifteen seasons. There were plenty of other episodes I loved that didn’t make these limited lists. But overall -- thank you, Supernatural, for the run. Even if I’m upset at the ending, I can appreciate the game. If you watch the show, what were your favorite episodes?

[leialannister]

Why C+B=R doesn’t work...

*rubs hands*

This is going to be fun…

I’ll start with busting the evidences that the theorist gave to make their theory believable (I’m not trying to mock them here btw don’t get me wrong) and continue with other factors why they simply do not work.

1)Follies done for love.

So the first thing the theorist talks about is Catelyn’s Tully morals and stuff, then they give Catelyn’s thoughts when she learns of Robb and Jeyne’s marriage as one of the evidences.

Only then came her belated remembrance. Follies done for love? He has bagged me neat as a hare in a snare. I seem to have already forgiven him.

-A Storm of Swords, Catelyn II.

They claim that the “follies done for love” is actually about Robb’s parentage.

“Brandon knew how to take what he wanted. Seems like he begged some,

(We will wed on my return he vowed) and she agreed,

hence the follies done for love.”

This could have been a good comment of the paragraph if we didn’t have a much better and realistic cause for her thoughts which is Jaime. Catelyn freed Jaime to get back her daughters, the daughters she loved fiercely, and she believes they are under Cersei’s claws, who she also blames for her husband’s death, and I don’t think I have to talk about the love Catelyn bears to Ned, for I never shut up about it. (Mind that Catelyn was unaware that Arya had escaped from the capital when she freed Jaime.) So no, passing off Brandon’s bastard as Ned’s isn’t the follies done for love, but freeing Jaime Lannister.

2)I did so gladly.

Here, the other evidence is that she marries Ned gladly and in a haste, because she’ll pass the child as his own, and she shouldn’t be far along or showing by the time they marry.

“When Brandon died shortly before they were to wed, Catelyn now having realized she is pregnant does not want her baby to grow up a bastard, so when told she must marry Ned in a haste, she does so gladly, planning to tell him that the child is his own.”

The problem here is how they interpret the word “gladly”.

Highborns rarely have the chance to choose whom they marry, especially if they are a woman and it’s their lord father who had arranged the marriage for them. (The Queen of Thorns, we all know she’s just another level.) Keep in mind that Catelyn is the favored child of Tully, (I love the Tullys but sorry Hoster that’s bad parenting 101) she is probably even more loved than Edmure, the heir to the Riverlands, and being his precious child, he wants Catelyn to be happy, for she deserves the world (FACTS!). But the man is also ambitious as fuck, she wants both daughters to be the wifes of high lords, and mother high lordlings. This is a great chance at hand, probably that comes very rarely too, considering the heir to the North has always had a Northern marriage. But Catelyn, being the dutiful daughter she is (Family, Duty, Honor) answers the way it would please her lord father.

And when Lord Hoster promised her to Brandon Stark, she had thanked him for making her such a splendid match.

-A Clash of Kings, Catelyn IV.

And when Brandon was murdered and Father told me I must wed his brother, I did so gladly, though I never saw Ned’s face until our wedding day. I gave my maidenhood to this solemn stranger and sent him off to his war and his king and the woman who bore him his bastard, because I always did my duty.

-A Clash of Kings, Catelyn IV.

She marries off Ned “gladly” because she has always done her duty, not because she wants to pass Brandon’s bastard as Ned’s.

3)Jon Snow…

“Another issue is the way that Catelyn treats Jon. Jealousy is understandable, but it's very uncommon for a woman and a mother, with maternal instincts, to treat a small child so badly.”

The whole Jon Snow/Catelyn relationship is severely misunderstood, and I think that is why this is mentioned in the theory.

The thing is… Catelyn rarely even treats Jon. She simply ignores him to at least make his presence bearable. Jealousy comes a long while after Jon is born and brought to Winterfell, and that never makes a change to Catelyn’s behaviour.

She might have overlooked a dozen bastards for Ned’s sake, so long as they were out of sight. Jon was never out of sight, and as he grew, he looked more like Ned than any of the trueborn sons she bore him.

-A Game of Thrones, Catelyn II.

Her problem is not Ned banging another woman in wartime, it’s that this child is in her home, where her trueborn children lives. He lives pretty much in the same luxuries with her own children. This might be bold of me, but there is no other ACKNOWLEDGED (The Baratheon (!) children are out) bastard in the Seven Kingdoms who lives in much luxury under such conditions (like Ned lacking a true born heir, etc.). As their marriage and relationship progresses, my parents (Ned & Cat) fall in love and this is where you can assume the jealousy comes in. She loves Ned dearly, fiercely, and it not only breaks her heart but makes herself feel as if she’s not enough to see that Jon remains in Winterfell, no matter how many sons she had bore him. Aye, she is aware that Ned is bestotted with her, but just like everyone, she has her dark moments where she wonders if she could never fill the hole that the bastard’s mother had left behind (Let’s not forget to mention that she doesn’t even know if she had ever left his heart at all). Despite being a fictional character, Catelyn is still human, and no one can ever blame her for being a human. That is what makes her a greatly rounded and complex character in the first place.

It is also confirmed by George R. R. Martin that Catelyn has never abused or mistreated Jon in any way, other than the time she snapped at him when Jon came to bid Bran farewell.

“Mistreatment” is a loaded word. did Catelyn beat Jon bloody? No. Did she distance herself from him? Yes. Did she verbally abuse and attack him? No. (The instance in Bran’s bedroom was obviously a very special case.) But I am sure she was very protective of the rights of her own children, and in that sense always drew the line sharply between bastard and trueborn where issues like seating on the high table for the king’s visit were at issue. And Jon surely knew that she would have preferred to have him elsewhere.

-George R. R. Martin.

“Keep in mind that the only way a bastard can threaten a trueborn 1st son is if the trueborn son is actually a bastard.”

Umm, no? The kid is a danger to all, especially if something were to happen to Robb. After all, Catelyn’s other children are also a part of the line of succession after Robb.

“In the show Catelyn says:
“All this horror that's come to our family,
It's all because I couldn't love a motherless child”.”

I think I have talked enough about how this scene totally ruins Catelyn’s character, and my opinions on this matter can be understood pretty clearly from the explanation I made about Catelyn and Jon’s relationship. The show is full of bullshit, and this is just one of them. (see my twitter account for this)

4)EvEn CeRsEi?!

“When Catelyn discovers Cersei's children are bastards who are not Robert's, she thinks:

"Would even Cersei be so mad? Catelyn was speechless."

Why EVEN Cersei? Why not simply say Cersei?

She can't believe another woman did the same thing she did, which is to let her husband raise another man's child, as his own.”

LMAO, she is talking about the freaking Targaryens!!! Cersei is literally the queen of the man who dethroned the mad incest supporters and she finds out that his wife is doing the same exact thing! Don’t you guys think it’s ironic? Well, I wonder what makes Catelyn so shocked...

(Oh and by the way, Cersei, baby you were so right..)

5)16,20,50 & Some Height Issues

“This is what Catelyn thinks about Robb:
“Let him grow taller, she asked the gods. Let him know sixteen, and twenty, and fifty. Let him grow as tall as his father, and hold his own son in his arms. ”

So let’s ask ourselves Why these numbers?
Does Catelyn just pick them out at random or is there meaning behind them?
They certainly don’t seem to apply to Ned and yet they fit perfectly when applied to Brandon Stark

-Brandon was 16 when he met Catelyn and they fell in “love”
-And was 20 when he died.
-Although Rickard Starks exact age is unknown,
I believe this is who Catelyn is thinking of when she says 50, Robbs Grandfather who died with Brandon.

So here we have Catelyn's thinking of Robb's life:
may he live to meet a girl and fall in love,
may he not die at 20 like his father
or die at 50 like his grandfather.
may he hold his own son in his arms, something Brandon was never able to do.”

This is one of the most well-thought evidences, but it’s wrong nonetheless.

Brandon Stark was born in 262 AC, and Catelyn was born in either 264 or 265 AC, we do not know the exact year.

So yes, he died at 20, but Catelyn was 12 when her father promised him to Brandon. That makes Brandon 14 or 15 when they met and “fell in love”.

Oh and the mention of “tall”:

““ Catelyn watched a breeze stir his auburn hair, so like her own, and wondered when her son had grown so big.

Fifteen , and near as tall as she was. ... Let him grow as tall as his father"

Catelyn specifically noted how disappointed she was with Ned's height, compared to Brandon who was tall.

So how DID Robb get so tall if Ned is short?

And if Ned is so short, who does she mean when wanting Robb to grow, as tall as him?

Again this sounds like Brandon to us.”

Brandon being taller than Ned doesn’t mean Ned is short. Considering the average height for men is 5’9 today, someone who is 6’3 is tall. A man who is 6’1 is tall as well, but shorter than other. This is the same case. Ned is never mentioned to be short, he is just shorter than Brandon, who is mentioned to be tall.

5.1)Fall in love

Oh, and just fyi, Catelyn was never in love with Brandon. Yes she might have liked or even loved the idea of him and their live together, but never really loved him.

6)When possessive pronouns confuse the f out of you

“"She had brought him forth in blood and pain, not knowing whether Ned would ever see him. Her son.”

so Why say HER son?

This is how the sentence should have been like,

Given the premise that Ned is Robb's father:

"not knowing whether Ned would ever see him. His son.”

Or:

"not knowing whether Ned would ever see him. Their son.””

So ok, I’ll admit that this is the best one by far. There’s nothing I can say to deny them, though Catelyn does mention the children as “our” and as Ned’s son as well. And while might imply, it does not give the theory %100 accuracy.

7)Nine moons

Catelyn thinking about Robb:

““Brandon Stark had bid her wait as well.

“I shall not be long, my lady,” he had vowed.

“We will be wed on my return.”

"Yet when the day came at last, it was his brother Eddard who stood beside her in the sept. Ned had lingered scarcely a fortnight with his new bride before he too had ridden off to war with promises on his lips. At least he had left her with more than words; he had given her a son.

Nine moons had waxed and waned, and Robb had been born in Riverrun while his father still warred in the south.

Nine moons since when? This paragraph started with Brandon, not with Ned.”

Nine moons since ‘Ned had lingered scarcely a fortnight with his new bride before he too had ridden off to war with promises on his lips.’ I think this was pretty clear but okay. Considering the huge hate towards Catelyn, I’ve come to a conclusion that Martin’s works are very open for misinterpretation.

8)A son

““he had given her a son.” He did give her a son, instead of a bastard.

By marrying Catelyn,
Ned has effectively turned her Bastard into a son.”

I think this would have been again one of the best well thought, if Catelyn mentioned more than words to Brandon as well. She basically said that Brandon just left her with words while Ned gave her more. If Brandon gave her bastard, she wouldn’t have just said “words”. Yes, she might not have mentioned it as “a son” but there would be more than that.

9)Lord Dustin is Actually GRRM in a nutshell

““On Catelyn’s own wedding night ...

When Lord Dustin had beheld her naked, he’d told Ned that her breasts were enough to make him wish he’d never been weaned”

Breasts are the very first to expose a pregnancy, way before the belly shows.

Why would GRRM make the effort to give us this little tidbit of information about how her breasts reminded men of nursing?”

I think this is just a way of GRRM describing his type. Quoting grrmartin from Tumblr:

“Catelyn’s descriptions make her seem like the most attractive woman in Westeros. And people comment on her beauty frequently. Unlike Dany or Cersei, people do not fear or need to compliment Cat in the same way. GRRM, the author, married 2 redheads. He clearly has a type. And based on your logic on what makes somebody the most beautiful, LF started the War of the Five Kings because he loved the beautiful Catelyn Stark, even after over a decade of not seeing her.”

see the original post here

GRRM’s like of hot women is known, and “hot women” by classic standards are big breasts, a slim waist and wide hips. They are big guys. Ned Stark is a lucky man. Don’t overread. Not to mention that Catelyn tells herself that she’s given her maidenhood to Ned. Yes, maidenhood does mean an unwed woman, but it is also the synonym of “maidenhood”.

9)First time

This is, again, a controversial remark, I personally believe that it’s her instinct. She felt it. Though, the way it could work is very simple.

Her moon blood might have been early due to stress or coming after a few days they wed anyway. This was a time of war and they didn’t wait till women were most “available”.

10)Timeline…

Ok so I was going to continue with the other stuff that the theorist had mentioned but this is getting too long and I’m getting bored. So let’s bust this theory with the simplest thing: Timeline!!!

“Age: Brandon died in 282AL , Rob was born in 283AL. Time wise, it's plausible.”

“they had spent that year apart, Ned off at war in the south”

This way, because she gave birth at Riverrun without Ned, Ned would not know exactly how long after he left Robb was born.

Robert's Rebellion timeline is speculative, at best.

This is how I think it went, in chronological order:

1. Catelyn and Brandon Conceived Robb at Riverrun.

2.Brandon left for KL, and died.

3.Ned married Catelyn BEFORE calling his banners, to make sure he has the Riverland's support. Riding all the way North from the Vale, only to go all the way back in times of war seems unlikely. Ned probably sent someone in his name to call his banners, while he went to wed Catelyn. This would place their marriage likely far less than 3 months after Brandon left Riverrun, probably around 6-8 weeks after Robb's conecption.

4.Ned goes to war.

5.Jon is born.

6.Robb is born.

Brandon dies In the early-mid of 282 AC (With the words arriving, Rickard coming to Kl) since Lyanna’s abduction happens early in the year. Then Aerys demands Ned and Robert’s heads so Jon Arryn calls the banners and Ned returns to the North and Robert leaves for Stormlands to call the banners. Then, The Battles of Summerhall happens, followed by Robert’s defeat in the Battle of Ashford. Having retreated to the Riverlands, The Siege of Storm’s End starts and we know that the defenders were already in bad shape “by year’s end.” Ned and Catelyn marry after the Battle of the Bells, since it is a double wedding and we know that Jon Arryn loses gallant cousin and heir, Ser Denys Arryn, so he needs a young wife to produce an heir. This means that Catelyn and Ned married in the early 283 AC.

If Brandon had impregnated Catelyn, she would have been heavy with child by the time they married, and Robb would have been big enough to know he’s not Ned’s by the time he meets Robb. I think this is the biggest evidence that this theory simply does not work.

11)Significance of Parentage

Robb getting in the list of the secret parentage reduces the significance of parentage. There are way more believable parentage theories (and canon ones like the Baratheon (!) children) out there that concerns other families, and they have much more evidence other than the crumbs here. Everyone being a secret bastard takes the excitement of the better ones like R+L=J or A+J=CJ (love this one, don’t think it’s true but love it anyways).

In conclusion, even if I’m wrong, and Robb is actually Catelyn’s son (though I know Catelyn to be better than that, there’s a reason why I stan her) it makes literally no impact to the storyline. Robb is dead, Ned is dead, Brandon is long dead, Catelyn is dead, at least the part of her that made her Catelyn is. How other people will be aware of this is a dilemma as well. There has to be a good reason for Bran to look from the eyes of the Godswood of Riverrun. The only way this can have an importance is Jeyne being pregnant, (The chances are quite low on this one.) though not much would come of it anyway.

[lunawings]

King of Prism SSS Episode 12 commentary (FINAL!)

Crunchyroll was awesome this time! 

No significant complaints on the subs!

You guys were awesome this time! 

So many people stuck around for the late viewing in the stream and even after just to chat! 

Now on to the actual episode. 

Once again sorry this is so long. But with this being the last one, can you really blame me.....?

.....As much I love this episode, this scene was just so painful. Worse than Shine’s show. Worse than that whole last episode combined. 

A lot of my predictions about Part 4 were wrong (will discuss later) but I was absolutely sure of one thing. I knew no matter what happened in Part 4 just one thing was FOR CERTAIN. And that was... I was going to have to see Shin cry. This precious boy who deserves nothing but love is going to suffer. And I tried to prepare myself. I tried. 

But somehow. Even though I knew. EVEN THOUGH I KNEW... It was way worse than I could have ever imagined.

I always assumed he would cry because he found out about something terrible about the past. But instead HE NEVER KNOWS THE TRUTH and we get him sobbing over something entirely NOT HIS FAULT... in front of everyone.... HOW.... HOW COULD THEY.... DO THIS... TO.... HI...M................ 

This scene upsets me so much I don’t know if I have ever even seen the whole thing. I always end up turning away at some point, or just curling up into a ball.....

Did anyone else feel like they were watching a totally different anime for a few seconds here? I’m having trouble telling if the style actually changed or if I.... just am not used to seeing Shin make expressions like this............. ba.....by..............

Leo always cries when anyone else is crying.

Even though everyone claps for him at the theater at cheering shows, it doesn’t make me feel better. AT ALL. Because Shin never knows the truth. NONE OF THEM DO. Okay we’ll talk about this more later but just..... gah it hurts........................................ So much that it actually hindered my enjoyment of what amazing thing comes next......

Back in the first movie era, the idea of a full CGI show of the Edel Rose boys with Shin as center was something that I could not imagine coming true even in my wildest dreams. And I love this show. I just wish it wasn’t proceeded by so much suffering. 

Shin being their center was something they decided at the Christmas live (before performing Dramatic Love for the first time) BTW. While it seems obvious to us that Shin would be center, it wouldn’t necessarily be as such in-universe. They had to decide at some point! And I’m glad it was a part of that story. 

I LOVE THESE OUTFITS. 

THEYRE PERFECT. The rainbows, the stars, the colors. Everyone looks AMAZING. And I know the rainbows are probably an homage to Over the Rainbow... BUT..

its just so gay

Prism stone beam???

This is orange I guess? It looks more yellow to me. A lot of the hand colors are kinda vague and I’m just like... WHO DID YOU TOUCH 

For anyone who read my I THINK I MARRIED ALL THE EDEL ROSE BOYS. OR THEY MARRIED EACH OTHER. ANYWAY EVERYONE IS MARRIED NOW shitty out of context spoiler I wrote in a comment obviously it was this ahahaha

I really do love this show, and like with the new Shuffle’s show last week I’m so glad I can finally watch it without the.... suffering. 

The first time I saw this in theaters, this exact frame right here was when I first started feeling any semblance of better after all that had happened. He looks so confident and gallant and his eyes are shining and he just.... Shin............... I love you so much....................................................................

Also this is a good spot to talk about their feathers I guess. So these are different from the other (male?) wings Shine had. Why? What does that mean? 

*throws hands in the air*

So, some folks may not be aware of this but the feathers from Rainbow Live were a feature of the arcade game. 

You could unlock them by raising the PairTomos, and even the night dream feathers look like they were available at one time during an event it seems?? I am not entirely sure how it all worked since I never played the game back in the heyday. (You can no longer obtain all the feathers now even if you bring a memory card to a currently running Pretty Rhythm machine since some just aren’t available anymore.)

But anyway, the actual point I was trying to make is that the feathers had a set  structure within Rainbow Live since it was grounded by the arcade game. But in King of Prism...... that just kinda do what they want.... s....o.............

The first time I went to cheering for this it was the premiere date, and it was also the first time I ever did cheering the same day. In between the morning/midnight showing a whole bunch of people had the idea to go to the 100 yen shop and get glowstick rings just for this scene. I was like daaaamn. 

But then...

Our first official non-Crunchyroll translation of prism no kirameki? 

Even the Juuouin group worships “the prism”. 

And I can’t help laugh at the irony that Crunchyroll abandoned using “the prism” but also just ignored the translation ALREADY ON SCREEN

I can’t take his scream here. It’s just like.... HE WAS ALREADY DYING, WHY DID THEY HAVE TO SPEED UP THE PROCESS. 

LOUIS. 

LOUIS NOOOOOOOOO. 

Even as late as it is, I am really, really grateful how they took a few seconds to establish for the new audience exactly how much of their shows are powered by prism sparkle. 

Note that they did not change out of their costumes though. But my headcanon on this is that Leo just prefers to make the real thing because he can. 

Singing at cheering shows is also everything I have ever wanted. 

I feel bad though since I pretty much always get tongue tied here every time. It’s hard to just sing acapella to a song you’re not that familiar with. Especially with the sparkely lyrics appearing and disappearing like this. I actually don’t hear that many other people singing in the theater, perhaps for that reason? But I always try my best. 

And now that this is finally out, I can finally practice at home and nail this down with confidence just in time for...... SSS to leave theaters..... um............ ye....ah........

I also mess this up like every single time ahaha. It’s just slightly too fast for me to read. 

Someday I will succeed in properly marrying all of the Edel Rose boys. Someday. 

(Also I don’t think this was rainbow-colored in the theatrical version.)

So Edel Rose and all their fans just up and created a prism goddess so we don’t need the prism gods anymore. Can they do that? Can we do that? I guess we can! 

WE DID IT GUYS

It’s oddly fitting that Hijiri is kind of an ugly crier. I mean, he’s just so beautiful the rest of the time. It’s only right. 

So let’s unpack this for a sec. Unbeknownst to them, because the Edel Rose boys all married each other they put a new seal on Shine. But this seal is entirely dependent on their marriage their bond with each other. 

How literal is that I wonder?

Because like.... Edel Rose won’t last forever. Kakeru, Minato, and Yukinojo are gonna be going to college in a year and a half.... ahah ha.....

I just imagine like. A couple of them meeting on the street in the distant future being like “Oh man I haven’t seen you in forever!” “Yeah! We really lost touch! Hey, have you heard from Shin lately?” “No, you?” And behind them is like a TV report of Shin become Shine destroying a city or something. 

.....................Reminder again that this commentary is coming from the place where I am after having a couple months to let this all sink in and get to the point where I am comfortable joking about it.... ahah ha........ 

This is one of my coping mechanisms for dealing with the idea that my favorite character basically has the devil living inside of him trying to take over at any moment.....

Another one is thinking back to older King of Prism media and wondering what Shine was doing at that time. Like, I imagine him floating there inside Shin all bored and pissed off making sarcastic comments at whatever the Edel Rose boys are doing. And I find this hilarious for some reason. I’d make a webcomic about it if I could draw.

ANYWAY 

So my understanding of this scene (which may or may not be totally correct) is: The Edel Rose boys’ rings put a seal on Shine which drags him down back into the depths of where Rinne first plunged him. But before he goes, he installs(?) his powers into Shin so that Shin is free to use Shine’s powers on his own now. (Up until now he was just like borrowing them?) 

If you also briefly wondered how they could have gotten a perfect score after failing a jump, my guess is the Prism System just wasn’t recording at that time due to the lack of prism sparkle ahah ha. 

They absolutely mopped the floor with the new Shuffle, and it did not matter.

What makes this so nuts to me is that even before I saw Part 4, like way back after I first saw episode 5 I was already comparing Joji to a twisted Hiro. (Elaborated on this in my episode 5 post.) And then this aha. 

So in the theatrical version I swear the crowd here has light blue lights. And I wondered if it was on purpose to be like inverted Hiro (who goes from light blue -> yellow in the Prism King Cup, so Joji went yellow -> light blue?) but nope, I guess somebody just forgot Joji’s theme color is yellow ahaha. In the TV version they just made it multi-colored. 

So to add more context to some things, you may remember I mentioned before that Part 4 premiered in Japanese theaters in the gap between when Taiga and Kakeru’s episodes aired on TV. So by the time Joji’s episode aired on TV... I already knew this was gonna happen. I already knew we were watching the number one prism show. THE CHAMP. The only 2D prism show.... SO MUCH IRONY. 

But you know what. Despite his show being what it was..... After all the time to let it sink in.. After all the dust has settled.... the one solo song which is my clear favorite..... The only one which has gotten stuck in my head WAY MORE than ANY other.... is Joji’s. 

(Well, Ace’s. But still.)

So. 

Congrats Prism Champ. 

Never thought I’d say this but poor Jin. Even when he ACTUALLY TRIES to do something fair for once...... still......

(Goddammit Shine.)

Poor Joji? Or not. It’s hard to feel bad for him when he’s THE PRISM CHAMP ahaha. Like. He made it. He has everything he ever strived to obtain. On the surface anyway. 

How Nori-kun feels about this though, who knows. Will we ever?

DOES IT REALLY NOT? Haha I really don’t understand this at all. Like. Was it really political pressure? Did Jin fold since he didn’t win in the way that he wanted to? Did Kakeru pull some strings behind the scenes again?

*throws hands in the air*

AND THIS

It’s framed to be this super significant scene but

WHAT DOES IT MEANNNNNNNN

I have already touched on this in separate posts, and this post is so long already that I’m going to kind of leave it hanging here but I consider Kakeru’s plot in SSS to be a loose end. He was the only boy who did not have a plot with some kind of resolution about himself. Instead Kakeru’s plot was only about other people.....

FINALLY, the ultimate conclusion to the infamous curry plot of Pride the Hero.

AND FINALLY

YOU

GUYS 

I WAS SO MAD 

The official King of Prism Twitter and such were actually pretty good at hiding Dorachi before Alexander’s episode aired. But Torachi was just EVERYWHERE and I was like COME... ON. REALLY.

So you may have noticed this but he was added to the opening too. For us seeing SSS in the theaters, we only get one OP per showing. So this means Japan actually got this spoiled before episode 10. 

But I didn’t. I didn’t even notice because I just wasn’t thinking to look for it. (Also I guess sitting in a terrible seat to the far right twisting my neck at an angle may have had something to do with it but.) When I first saw the reveal of Torachi in episode 12 it was TOTAL SURPRISE for me......

But as much as I love Taiga though, Dorachi is my clear favorite. My Dorachi merch collection will start as soon as I can get my hands on ANYTHING

Also I wonder at what point Alexander figured out that DJ COO was Rei, because he sure knows now ahah. 

But anyway, speaking of spoilers....

I know I said at one point Nikkanen and the twins didn’t have any significant appearances in SSS, but that was before Part 4 and I just decided not to correct that and let you guys be surprised AHAHAH you’ll just have to hate me *BLASTS OFF INTO THE SUNSET*

(I’m so glad they seem to have cleaned up Nikkanen’s face a little. He looked so weird in the theater. Or like.... weirder at least.)

(If you don’t know these boys they are already established characters introduced on the Prism Rush mobile game.)

And what do THESE feathers mean..... 

LOUIS ISN’T DYING ANYMORE DONT CARE *NYOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM* 

By the way I can’t believe the prism sparkle disappearing and Louis becoming the protector of the world WAS FORESHADOWED IN ROAD TO SSS 9. That’s why I reblogged this post the other day.

It’s so funny how much of Road to SSS didn’t matter. Then you get to event 9 and LITERALLY EVERYTHING MATTERS. 

And again.... speaking of spoilers............

The week before Yu’s episode aired I AGONIZED about whether to put in some kind of vague hint that the Edel Rose boys new unit name was revealed in that episode (as part of Yu’s prism jump). Ultimately I decided not to. Because even though I didn’t figure it out at the time, I think with even a vague hint I probably would have. Because even when I saw it back then I was like.... “...... huh........” 

So you’re just gonna hafta haaaaaaaaate ahahaahah ha sorry

But anyway! Now I can finally stop referring to our seven stars as the “Edel Rose boys” and from now on call them SeptEntrion! Since calling them just the “Edel Rose boys” isn’t really accurate anymore since it would also include the twins and Nikkanen, etc. I’m happy that the main seven finally have a good name to distinguish them. 

(Now I need to learn to remember how to spell SeptEntrion....) 

Also

You guys in the livestream ruined this for me so I’m ruining it for everyone too.

Look at the red letters. 

Then flip over your desk and storm out of the room like I almost did when I noticed. 

WHY

THERE IS NO WAY THAT IS NOT ON PURPOSE

WHY 

So, a few weeks ago I was in Tokyo and I decided to stop by the Yotsuya station area.

I found the site of the supposed Yotsuya Credit union  (which is actually a lottery ticket stand) and the KPO KFC almost immediately. 

I also found out there is a Catholic university in the area, and although it doesn’t look anything like Edel Rose that seems like not a coincidence. 

So I started to walk around that area, but try as I might I could not find any little  shopping streets like the one in the anime. The area didn’t look like it would have that sort of place at all. Also it was POURING RAIN, I was just at Aqours 5th live the previous day, I had at least 6 hours to get home, and I was anxious to make it there with plenty of time for the stream of Alexander’s episode which we were doing that night. I decided to give up and head to the KFC to console myself over chicken, coleslaw, and biscuits before beginning the journey home when LOW AND BEHOLD 

RIGHT ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE KFC

WAS THIS 

IT DOES EXIST 

And there is not nearly enough room for SeptEntrion to perform here ahaha. 

I can’t help but notice that while they used Prism One performance snapshots for all the other boys, Shin is in his old Over the Sunshine outfit. Well I mean. OF COURSE HE IS. But.....

But I really can’t help but wonder what the boys are thinking nowadays in retrospect about what happened. 

I mean, not that they shouldn’t love and trust Shin. Of course they should. 

But if my friend turned to pure evil for a solid 15 minutes I would be.... CONCERNED for him? ?? To say the least. 

The fact that THEY DONT KNOW AND MAY NEVER KNOW really just eats at me

I suppose Louis or June could tell them. But I don’t think Louis ever will since he just wants to protect Shin, and June..... where would she even start. 

Not to mention what does Yamada-san think about how Shin just BECAME Wataru Hibiki like I.... I just have several questions but......

The cheering audience for the half second we can see Torachi here: “..............................................................AHHHHH!..................................................”

I wondered for weeks what the TV ED would be for this episode, and as soon as Boy Meets Girl started playing I was like...... OF. COURSE.

Hahah I’m glad though. So far the only SeptEntrion version Boy Meets Girl we’ve had was live (at MRS) and I often thought of ripping the audio from the DVD just to have it, but now I won’t have to. The TV audience never got to hear the theatrical ending 366 Love Diary though, which is kind of a shame. That song is such a big part of SSS to me.

So when we do the livestreams, I often have the live episode playing on my actual TV with the sound off. The stream is delayed by a few minutes so it’s been great for cues to help prepare stuff to type into the chat about things coming up.

While you guys were still in the meat of this episode, I casually glanced over my shoulder and saw THIS on my TV

Shin in the outfit Leo originally made him for the Prism One.

And just started having a seizure that lasted until the credits ended BECAUSE THEN THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE.

Playing to the left is the theatrical weekly video we got in the third week of Part 4. 

(It has actual dialogue in the theaters, but here they just muted it and laid it over the credits. I went to the theater yesterday JUST to take notes on this for you guys ahaha. Glad I didn’t need to though.)

But like. When I first saw this in the theaters... 

I was so SO sure this was a joke. I mean Prism 2!?! Seriously!? 

But now I don’t know WHAT to think. 

ESPECIALLY ABOUT THIS

But um. Someone tell me the anime references I’m missing here:

And which of these are newly revealed YMT29 boys ahah:

And..... that’s it....

This is Louis’ coded way of telling Shin he’ll love him forever I guess. 

Aw man

you guys

we made it

ROUND OF APPLAUSE 

Ahhhhhhhhhh

ITS BEEN A JOURNEY

So Part 4 turned out way differently than I predicted. When the episodes were first announced and episode 12 was “Unknown”, my immediate thought was “it’s gonna be Shine.” Especially since the quote for Shin’s episode was something like “what have I done,” I assumed he would gain some memories of the past in episode 11 and was talking about something he/Shine did in the past. Then I thought Shine would perform in episode 12 and cause a bad end. Even though we knew Edel Rose was scheduled for a unit performance, I was skeptical if it would actually happen or not as I doubted Shin would be in any condition to perform in episode 12. (I also wondered if maybe we already HAD already seen their unit show in the OP and thus wouldn’t be getting a new song.) 

But when the CDs were announced and I saw the last one said “unit song” I was like.... ohhh.... I guess they will perform as a unit after all? That’s good? 

Turns out I was right at least in predicting that Shine would get a show, but not that he would STEAL SHIN’S SHOW, and that Shin’s “what have I done” quote was about THE PRESENT DAY and something that Shin DID NOT DO. AHHH THE PAIN. 

Although it really cuts me deep that Shin never learns the truth, I am grateful we got that unit show and a happy ending. 

But.... 

OR IS IT? 

says a voice in my head.

Shine’s coming back someday. And we can’t kill him without blanking Shin. Hghkhgkdhlkdh.

If I didn’t know any better I’d say the grand endgame climax of King of Prism would be SeptEntrion teaching Shine to love. But we already know from director spoilers that supposedly the grand climax is about saving Jin. I have a sinking suspicion Shine and Jin may be connected in some way though. 

Who fucking knows where we’re going from now. 

Other than WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON with Jin, another one of my big questions is does the Prism King Cup even matter anymore? Since the Prism One was supposed to replace it, but that didn’t go so well. HAHAH are we REALLY doing the Prism Two come on now..........

But anyway. I suppose there is no point in drawing this out it any further

for now

this is THE END

Thank you all SO MUCH for coming on this journey with me

It’s been such a joy sharing all this with you

And I hope to see you around

SHINY SEVEN STARS FOREVER

EDEL ROSE SPARKING

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

My stance on P5 (cause apparently I need to explain myself :/)

So someone just told me someone was vagueing about me on the confessions blog (can’t say my name cause it’s against the rules but they’ll try to get as specific as they can 🙃 if you have issues just be a real anon hater and send to my inbox directly you coward). And I’m not going to do a reblog to that post, because I’m pretty sure that person must be on my blog. Because the post they were vagueing me about was......not tagged.....in the P5 tagged (I did not tag it as P5 nor Persona 5), it was just a post that was on my blog (now if it showed up in the tag or search I dunno why but I didn’t tag it for P5 for a gd reason cause I keep it to my blog). The post was me pointing out how P5 when they first enter Futaba’s dungeon they didn’t have shoes on, but after the cutscene they DID. The post was more comical (with me getting salty in the tags, but then you’d have to go out of your way to read my tags). And tbh, I’m half and half, yeah I know it’s a nitpick, and I’d just chalk it up to an animation error and let it go usually, but it’s P5 and that game is already inconsistent with it’s plot/world building/characters/anything important that I’m like “nah I’mma rag on it cause it’s just one more thing they screwed up” so I’m like half let it go and half rag on it (fun fact, when I saw they didn’t have shoes on I was gonna make a post saying “hey look this is cool, nice attention to detail” and then they messed it up literally 2 seconds later so dklsjf;afa yeah). (oh and btw, it wasn’t just “one” character, it was the whole PT cast at the time 8U” at least get it right 8U)

But the thing is......that was just a post on my blog, I’m not me berating the P5 tag. So that means you, person who vagued me, tend to go on my PERSONAL BLOG. So like....why are you on here? No, don’t ask me about me and P5, I will answer that, but you answer why are you bothering looking at my personal blog? Is it cause of certain content I post? Then just blacklist certain tags (like my “silly plays” tag cause nothing really interesting happens in that tag, or my more negative “persona problems” type tags), I know I need to be better at tagging my asks, but if you like my original content then just.....go to the OG content tags (aka videos/pictures/edits/coloring)? That way you avoid anything not made by me? Or if you don’t have a reason and you’re just here to be mad cause someone doesn’t like your game, then block me. You don’t seem to like me, so just....why are you here? You seem to want to ask why I’m here with P5, and I have my reasons, but if you don’t have a reason to be on my blog then why are you on it?

I’m not saying this to be mean, but I don’t want to be policed, esp if someone is going to be hypocritical about it. And it’s annoying to see vaguing (cause imo you are as bad as someone who sends anon hate, but you don’t have the balls to just send it to me directly XP)

Ok now where’s my stance on P5? I don’t like it, but it’s a part of a larger series and lore which I do LOVE! Which means, considering I’m a LORE WHORE, it doesn’t feel right to just skip a game esp if it could contain info about the MegaTen/Persona lore (or even Character lore) I want to know. In fact, I really hate it when I’m talking lore with someone and if expanded info is brought up from a side game they are like “Oh I didn’t play that game so it’s not canon” No Bethany, just because YOU didn’t play a game doesn’t mean it’s not canon. And no, no one is bullying you over the fact you didn’t play it, you just don’t like being wrong and the person was like “Ok well it IS canon and it’s in the game, you don’t have to play it but you.....can’t ignore this fact, also why are you arguing this part of the lore when it’s heavily established in said game you ignored???? I mean you do you but don’t get mad when someone corrects you. No one’s forcing you to do anything.” Ahhhhrrrrgggh so many convos I’ve seen happen, I’m not going to be on the end that I hate. DX<

Also, P5 is not the entire Persona fandom, so while I put up with it and indulge in it by association, it doesn’t have the ownership of the fandom (like with all the original games+ spinoffs+all remakes/ports and P5S/P5R included, but not mobile games, it’s only 23% of all of Persona in terms of game entries, and that’s overlapping with crossover games, and if we included other stuff P5 is def a minor aspect in terms of entries). It’s not that hard, I’m just a bigger all around Persona fan than I am a Persona 5 critic (I don’t want to say hater, because it feels like it sounds like I’m hating it just to hate it, when really it was a game I was excited for and loved and then it just burned me bad and I’m just dealing with the scorn). Always keep in mind, I loved P5 before I hated it, it’s probably why I’m as salty about it as I am, because I love P5′s potential and....I was just let down (it wasn’t unrealistic expectations, like I said earlier, P5 contradicts itself.....all over the place, it’s hard to ignore and it’s not something that was as big of an issue, or even an issue at all, in other games). 

Why do I still post P5 stuff when I don’t like P5 (by which I mean...posting about the OG manga raws, or wanting to do a partial game to anime dub or even would be willing to help with editing a fandub for the anime)? Because I remember being a newbie Persona/Megaten fan, getting into the series, and wanting to know more about it and it’s side materials but then not being able to have access it any of it (because it was still prettty niche when I first joined and I had no money at the time). I want to give people access to it! Sure it’s harder for me to now to devote time to it (than it was a few years ago), but I want to help with giving access to this Persona/Megaten stuff now that I have some ability! And it also means P5 as well gets some of that love. 8U

As for why I was replaying P5, so this is one thing that’s making me wonder if you are a regular on my blog or not because I’ve been talking about playing the Korean version (but in my one post I forgot to type “silly plays P5/Persona 5 KOREAN” so yeah I forgot to specify Korean at the end). So tbh....I’m actually ignoring P5′s writing while I play (cause I’m just going through the gameplay motions), cause I don’t know korean. 8U And I’m mostly using that tag as a means to point out different things in the korean ver (no that much, but yes Ryu’s shoes ARE censored 8U). But why? Well.....I talk about it here and there but anon/person....1) I’m a trophy whore, I love plat trophies and P5′s is super easy I can get it (and I’m not above playing bad games, oh yeah burn, I’ve played a lot of bad games for plats, and I’ve also played the same games multiple times for plats, I do this to myself but really I don’t mind replaying P5 4+ times for 4+ plats esp since I don’t really have to pay attention). 2) I’m a big MegaTen/Persona collector, I want all the plats I can have (I plan on platting the other versions of the all the dancing games on Vita and PS4, P4G, and the versions of Catherine I don’t have, like I legit have a gd excel sheet keeping track of the versions of Megaten games I don’t have yet....I’m just doing P5 cause it’s 1) one of the easiest to do and 2) it was easier to get my hands on them atm). I don’t talk about my trophy hunting on here that much tbh, but that’s.....really a big reason why I’m doing it (plus with the Korean/CHinese ver I don’t have to pay attention to any story so it’s all good! :D) Yeah I do it to myself, but I don’t really mind. 8U And I mean I tend to keep most of my P5 issue on my blog too. I think the only two posts that I put in the P5 tag were 1) a few consistency issues I wanted to meme about (aka the I’m about to head out post, which was actually the 2nd post I made on that topic but I decided to just meme that one, so I thought it was better than me just bitching, at least I tried to make it a bit funny yet informational 8U), and 2) something that I tbh had an issue since I back when I liked P5 (aka wishing they worked on speeding up the loading times and the fast forward feature), so since I was playing the game I was like “That reminds me, man I hope they fix this in the re-release!”. As for english P5, the only reason I’ll be playing P5 OG in english is for either archiving reasons or research reasons (probably both at once so I don’t have to play through it more than once again).

As for P5R, uhhhhh I’m excited for Kasumi (Jose is cool too, and the new dungeon has me interested too, and all the P2 demons coming back to it makes me wonder what else is/if anything is coming back), she’s my main draw. Yeah it’s connected to P5R, but she looks so much like Hamuko I JUST HAVE TO KNOW WHAT’S UP WITH HER! Hamuko’s my girl, and I need to know if Atlus is going to do something with that, or if I need to be pissed for them literally lifting Hamu’s face! Am I gonna get pissy about P5R’s new add-ons (aka, I’m aware that P5R is probably going to keep the issues from OG P5, so I’mma just judge P5R based on it’s new content)? Yeah, if they kept up the same writing P5 OG had. So yeah, I’m probably going to get pissy if they eff it up, but I’m not going in pissy, going in with really low expectations tbh, but I’m giving it a chance. But if they don’t eff up the new stuff then......that’s good! It means they did something right. So far Kasumi is not Marie so we’re off to a good start. I’m hoping the keep that momentum. 8U

So yeah, I think I have valid reasons for staying, maybe you don’t like it anon/person, but they are there. 

tldr; someone feels like the need to police me despite the fact they could just ignore me (even tho it seems like they specifically came to my blog to get mad, rather than me clogging up the tag, like I post there maybe once or twice every 2 months). My stance on P5 is that I deal with it cause it’s part of a bigger fandom I’m a part of and the fact I love the lore of that bigger fandom so it’s not like I can ignore it. I also have a Playstation trophy problem. 8U And I’m excited for Kasumi is that so bad???? (also I didn’t mention it, but Anne/Haru are enough to keep me around 8U)

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Montenegro to Eurovision with 6 young souls

(this is a pre-vamp review so take this whole thing as “something I wanted to publish but my schedule was withholding until it was specifically time for them to be reviewed”, therefore, this is a bit of a retrospective review. Will tackle on its revamp later!)

Montevizija, which finally has an official Twitter account (we all should forget the times some dude named Vasilije pretended to having made one), offered us another batch of 5 songs for another year, actually revealing all of them beforehand this time and not just the snippets! Joy to the world I guess.

You gotta love Montevizija for it being the most underrated ex-Yugoslavian national final btw. Granted, it only lasted for 2 editions as of now, and it will take years to grow bigger as a thing, but so far, for us the NFs that are ingrained to our brains more are Dora, EMA and Beovizija (and even Skopje Fest when THAT was used to pick an act and not just served as a festival like it originally was meant to be), therefore Montevizija seems more shunned. But what do you expect when the lineup of 5 for two years in a row is not exactly as stellar as hoped for? Well, there are gems here and there, but they haven’t really won on either years (or at least not on the 2nd year if you call Vanja’s song a gem too), and yet somehow they find someone who call them great. But for me this Montenegrin entry is not. :L

And who is up there to be colossally blamed for its existence? None other than this group of 6 refering to themselves as D mol (with “mol” decapitalized for whatever reason... they used to have hyphen separating the ‘D’ and ‘mol’, but now they scrapped it altogether, an anime death I’ll never forget). Worth noting that I, as a 19 year old, have this particularly ugly feeling I must get rid of, and that’s the one of “feeling old”, already at my age. And this is how I felt seeing that the band whose song I am not fond of today is made up by members that are of 16-17 to 21-ish years old!!! So my heart insists that I shouldn’t go too hard on these poor younglings, even if this is just me, currently tackling the brethren of my age. Prepare as I’ll go to shred their composition they’re going to Tel Aviv with, “Heaven”, to bits.

Although, what I call “shredding to bits” is merely just nitpicking the reasons the original version (keep bearing in mind that I haven’t heard the revamp yet) sucks imo, and idk, the new “Heaven” miiiiiiight just grow on me, but I heavily doubt about it because I never cared for it in the first place (youhouuu, they were my last in Montevizija ‘19 for a reason), and I’m rather looking forward for the new faves from the 8 songs I haven’t listened to yet rather than those that were already chosen. And even the Eurofans were not quite fond on the revamp, as some think the additional ethno sounds made it sound worse (and of course there are some that kinda like it or think of the song as their guilty pleasure). So why shouldn’t I? :O

Anyway, old “Heaven”. The first sounds on here to grace my ears on this song consist of one light piano note being tapped to an exact rhythm and a confused baby girl stuttering. And I’d’ve maybe enjoyed this more ironically at some point if it weren’t for the latter sound effect being re(ab)used later in the song!! Ugh I hate it. The lyrics are fine I guess... though isn’t it ironic the only English song in Montevizija’s lineup this year won?? It’s like the Montenegrin people were openly cringing when being the only ones to understand Vanja comparing his life to cat’s and mouse’s and calling his heart “the most expensive toy” in his song and then they were like “you know what? Let’s let the WHOLE Europe understand how terrible our lyrics are! ^_^” (no but for real, who still uses “I’m in heaven, falling straight into your heart” as a pick-up line? Did they travel through time from 1998 to 2019 or something???)

Speaking of the 90s, the whole song smells like a dated cliché of that period. You know, the kind of “the high school prom song from that 90s teen sitcom’s who you’re forced to watch when your elderly aunt is in the house with you and there’s nothing else on TV” dated. Dated even more than “Chain of Lights”. Seriously though! It includes the pathetic “wah wah” bassline, mid-tempo beats, the boy/girl-group harmonies... catch me puking sugar-coated cheese to this, no thanks. Oh and if you already read my “Zero Gravity” review (which you probably never even bothered to after seeing how much text would you have to read), I definitely mentioned that I’m not a fan of those “two verses-two choruses” songs, and especially those kind of ones that aren’t sounding like something suited for radio (e.g.: Poland 2018, “Light Me Up”)... this obviously sounds like something from the radio of the times the at-the-time senior highschoolers are currently over 30 or slightly over 40, and that should be 4 and a half minutes long. These verses could just not be more ridiculously dragged out for the choruses to prevail and get stuck in our brains... fucking welp [sic] me already.

Well, if there are any brownie points I could give this, it’s pleasant, it’s harmless if I don’t take into account the cheese vibes this emits, and all this bunch are made up by up-and-coming talented singers that clearly deserved a better song...

And the staging concept in their NF was cool tho (illustrating their power of D mol), and I applaud the couple chemistry I guess

Oh and this below is one of the most underappreciated memes this Euroseason:

*stares into your soul in Montenegrin*

So yeah. Oh and the Rizo(tto) guy who is self-aware of his hotness and the hotness of the much older Eurovision guys this year, but he’s not doing it for me so that I could be in heaven falling, so he’s getting a hard pass.

All in all - a nostalgia cash-in made to appease the housewives from Podgorica to Skopje, from Novi Sad to Štúrovo, and nothing quite else, sung by a cool bunch of people that if anything are deemed this year’s "great people with an unfortunately too dated song and a shitty draw” by me. I don’t know much of their personalities but I do believe that even if they like what they’re singing, they’d be much better off doing a better sounding throwback, at least. So that even the disappointed-by-”Heaven” Eurofans could at least call it “so dated but a BOP!”. And hey, I’m aware of those fans that will likely be pissed at me for not bopping along to this, but I said what I said about it and yet again, if revamp changes my mind, I will change my opinion, but right now I’d not prefer to. Grumpy Adio.

Approval factor: Hell with the no. I would like Vanja back instead. At least he made himself a somebody to be cared about even if the Eurofans didn’t quite adapt to his song in return.

Follow-up factor: somehow, both “Inje” and “Heaven” were/are seen by the masses as instant NQs, so it somehow doesn’t sound like Montenegro is following a great path so far. And after this year anything that audience favours and wins can be seen as a way better follow up after something meh coming after something wrose.

Qualification factor: For the n-th time, I’m yet to check the revamp out to state where this will actually go, but being put 2nd in the draw is a massive stab in the knee, as demonstrated by even the national finals this year (Electric Fields in Australia Decides, Aly Ryan in Unser Lied für Israel, Lisa Ajax in Melodifestivalen final... the only glaring exception is ZENA in Eurofest but is it me or these producers did this just so they could be all like “heeeey we put a winning song on 2nd just to show that a NF song can win from ANY draw! ANY DRAW!!!” lol nope), and from it only a few lucky souls have crawled out victorious (Nathan Trent for example, the draw might have pushed him down in the semi but he got up again!). D mol, for as young and developing in talent as they are, don’t seem to be such. You can be young and pitied for your personality, but you always can at the same time have a song that completely crushes your chances to do well and sweeps up the last shards of hope right in front of your eyes despite being an angel worthy of protection (Ari Ólafsson, anyone?). Unless the D molians work all their magic and the random ethnic vibes into their favour for some reason, but for now it ain’t gonna work.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

And even then, what was so interesting about Montevizija 2019?? Let’s see...

• First off, let’s address one meme of the beginning of 2019 that Facebook may or may have not used purposefully to upgrade their automatic “facial recognition” skills - the 10 years challenge. Our first one of this season is the sassy maneater who spent her ESC stint by trying to unlove a guy so hard that he just couldn’t oblige - Andrea Demirović. Her decade-later A-game happened to be this one song she sang in her mother-tongue: “Ja sam ti san” (I am your dream). Now, I wasn’t particularly into it - I enjoy some electro tracks out there (like hello, “Igranka” is one of my favourite Montenegrin entries, and 2013 entries overall as well) but this one just ended up being the right amount of cool AND overbearingly unsettling for me to not really fancy it. Kinda like “Red” by HyunA - I can only bop to this if I don’t care about the fact I actually hate it, oops. (Or maybe it is just because Andrea once again used a composition done by one of those “rent-a-NF-songwriter” people. Which is at least better than collabing Ralph Siegel who’s stopped being relevant ever since starting to work with San Marino, or even since the hilarious attempt of a peace song sung by the original common framework, six4One. But since Michael James Down has co-contributed to one of the better Montevizija songs last year, I will not allow myself to think it’s thanks to those kind of songwriters.) Nevertheless, the Eurofans actualy kind of loved this song, but sadly, Montenegrins and the international jury did quite not, and she didn’t land on to the superfinal 2 (as opposed to a superfinal 3 last year, to which she could have easily qualified if it still were a 3). Here’s her song to y’all anyways (and the performance too, which just needed to include some random monster dudes dancing around... why? Because Eurovision! ^^):

• Speaking of Andrea, during the results part there was this one shot of hers where she was pictured just casually chilling on her phone, not giving a damn that she’s being underrated on the scoreboard. Not only she was badly rated, but this moment was such an universal #mood!

• In between the finally final results announcement (which I didn’t really know when exactly was it taking place because the winner wasn’t really said out loud before the event I will describe next was taking place??) there was this lottery going on of who would be the lucky two audience observers that’d win tickets to Tel Aviv... hilariously enough though, it somehow malfunctioned and there were some sort of errors regarding the announcement of the RIGHT winner <3 but the winners happened and I hope they’re getting to go to Tel Aviv at some point during the Eurovision events! Hope they don’t feel startled by the lack of taken seats this year.

• Unlike Eesti Laul, Montevizija this year took up the job of showcasing tweets of Eurofans, and somehow this fellow fella ended up seen by a handful of Montenegrins AND international viewers. Take a wild guess which of them know what a daddy Serhat is.

• And who could not forget the magic flying envelope for to announce the winner of the NF:

there must have been some Harry Potter magic in there :O

As for what touches the other songs, well there’s the last year’s fan fave Nina Petković with another song, but it’s no “Dišem”, so don’t even bother. Or bother, but imo it’s just okay-sounding, nothing that groundbreaking or pleasant enough to be competitive. The other few songs were also nice but I’d like not to make this longer as my other write-ups, to be fair. Sucked to be Mr. Kállay-Saunders who, as the international juror chosen for this national final, had to rank its songs... as that NF happened right on the same day his second A Dal 2019 performance was taking off. Not that the international jurors were supposed to be present in Montenegro on the day of this NF, anyways...

Anyway, despite all this goddamn criticism (that could’ve flown more smooth had my computer not restarted in the middle of me doing paragraphs for this review), I’m fare welling the D mol-ians and would like to wish them a heavenly Eurovision experience. ^_^

[fanatical-san]

Hey, I love your blog! May I ask for a damijon story where they go on date?

Okay, so this is kind of a part two to this, as you may know. The date is also kind of…eh, so I’m sincerely hoping you don’t hate me for this. (Also, I may, um, have gone over 1K words. Sorry.)

Quick reminder: Damian is bold, and Jon is bold italics.

Damian is currently sitting on his bed, in his best suit,and trying to stay calm. He has been searching, for almost a week, for a Julietrose, but it’s all been in vain. And Jon specifically said that his favouriteflower was a Juliet rose. How is he meant to get Jon to like him if he can’tlive up to his standards?

Of course, it isn’ta date. Not that Damian would mind adate; Jon would just never accept. He had mocked him about it being a date, soDamian can’t really hope.

Yet if he can get Jon to like him, then a date could be possible. Just as he’s thinkingthis, a text pops up on Damian’s phone.

Text from J.K.:

Where r u

Damian reads the text twice. What?

I’m at home, ofcourse.

Why?

Where are you?

Waiting? 4 u to pick me up???

Did u forget?

Oh. Yes, Damian hasforgotten he’d said half seven and not half eight, even though he should’ve known because he planned it, but hecan’t tell him that because it’d be awful, and Jon would hate him, and thiswhole ordeal is just too much for him.

I can’t come

didn’t I tell u

I have

studying

2 do

Really?

R u sure?

Ye

Ttyl

OK

Damian has to fix this. It’s simple; he’ll find the flower,get Tim to confirm to Jon that he was busy, and then try again. He pulls hislaptop out of the drawer and opens it, determined to track down the Julietrose, when his phone buzzes again.

R u alright?

Damian doesn’t know what to say to that, so he doesn’t. Jonwill understand. He’s meant to be studying, after all.

*

Two hours later, he gets another text.

On the roof.

It’s a perfect imitation of the message he sent exactly a weekago, and Damian can’t help but to continue the joke.

My roof?!

Haha

Very funny

Plz hurry up tho cos it’s cold

Damian grabs a spare blanket and opens the window, lookingup. He offers the blanket to Jon, who’s perched above him.  Jon offers a hand in return, which Damianreluctantly accepts. Once they’re sitting beside each other, Jon frowns.(Although in that blanket, he still looks cu- no, he looks normal. He looks normal).

“You lied to me!” The statement is simple and straightforward,but Jon seems to be so hurt. Damian’snow sure that Jon’s never going to think of him in the same way Damian thinksof Jon, but he tries to cover up nonetheless.

“As I told you, I was studying. Why would you assume I liedto you?” Jon makes an exasperated noise.

“You’re wearing a suit,you dummy!” Just as Damian opens his mouth, Jon cuts him off. “I may be slightly younger than you, but I’m not dumb, Damian. You cancelled on me, anddon’t try to pretend, please.

“And don’t think that I’m okay with that, cos, well, itstings a little, but anyway: are you alright?”

Damian tilts his head slightly in confusion.

“Am I…? I’m fine. Did you come all the way here to ask aboutthat? Really? Why wouldn’t I be fine?”Jon rolls his eyes and starts counting points off on his fingers.

“You cancelled on me, then you started texting all weird –well, normal, but that’s weird foryou – and then you didn’t reply to me asking if you were alright, so something must be wrong. I think.” Damian is…well,he’s not speechless, because thatwould be absurd, but still. He just stares.

Jon shifts about a little in his blanket, looking back. Thepair are silent for a moment, before Jon coughs.

“Um, so,” he begins, still watching Damian, “are we still goingto do that date, or…?” Damian tuts.

“I’ve told you, it’s nota date. Stop making fun of me!” Jon’s eyebrows do that confused wigglything that Damian thinks looks adorable (or you know, just normal, because Damiancan filter his thoughts perfectly well).

“I’m not making fun of you,” Jon says softly. “I justthought that you, maybe, I dunno, liked me? Don’t laugh at me, please, I know, it’sstupid, and this is going to be really awkward now, and-”

Damian really can’t help it. He knows he’s being a littletoo forward, but Jon has seriously got to stoptalking.

He’s glad to find that hugging him seems to work. He should doit a little more often.

“Um, Damian?” Jon squeaks, and both of them try to move atthe same time. As a result, they both go tumbling off the roof, and now Damian’sreally glad he hugged Jon, because ifhe wasn’t clinging on to him for dear life right now, he could be in a lot ofpain.

Jon flies them inside the open window, and they touch down onthe ground.

“This can be a date,” Damian mumbles.

“What?” Jon asks incredulously.

“This,” Damian repeats, gesturing about him, “can be date. Youknow, if you really insist on-”

And this time, it’s Jon who’s crushing him in a bear hug.

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,”he babbles, and Damian smiles a little.

*

Their positions are reversed. It is now currently Jon who isholding on to Damian for dear life. To be honest, he doesn’t really mind. The moviethey’re watching isn’t the scariest in the least, but Jon seems to be terrified.As a wholly predictable jump scare happens, Jon buries his face into Damian’sshoulder.

“No more,” he whines, and Damian scoffs.

“You’re not a toddler anymore, Jon,” Damian chides him.

“Please, Dami?” Jon whispers, and Damian grumbles, but turnsthe movie off anyway.

“So…what do we do now? I’m sure this isn’t how a date ismeant to be.” Jon grins.

“A date can be whatever we want it to be, and can includewhatever we want it to,” he says, “like…a pillow fight!”

Damian can accept that Jon puts an admirable effort intoambushing him, but he’s no match for Damian, especially in his home territory.A few minutes later, Jon is lying on the bed, exhausted.

“Okay, okay,” he gasps, “enough! I surrender.” Damiansnorts.

“Of course yousurrender. I’m obviously superior at this.”

“No you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Sure.”

Damian ignores that remark, and settles in next to Jon.After a minute or two, he says, quietly: “You should be heading home.” Jongroans. “Your parents might try to check up on you…”

“Fine, fine,” he relents, and leans over to quickly peck Damianon the cheek. Damian, who is definitely not expecting that, jumps and falls off the bed, causing Jon to giggle absolutelyuncontrollably.

That’s how the first date ends.

*

Hi

don’t hate me

but why did u cancel b4

Damian feels that, at this point, telling the truth is probablyeasier than fabricating a lie.

and don’t lie

Seems that Jon agrees too.

I couldn’t find yourfavourite flower, and I didn’t want to be a failure.

So you panicked?

No.

Yes.

Dw about it next time

K?

And btw

My boyfriend is not a failure

He’s awesome

Damian’s aware that this type of sweet talk is a thingbetween couples, but Jon obviously thinks he can outsmart Damian at this.

Well, two can play that game.

Maybe, but myboyfriend’s better.

Touché.

Again, a lot of liberty taken. I hope it’s been enjoyable, though :D Thanks for the kind words about my blog, btw, and right back at you

(Also, your icon is iconic)

((see what I did there? Never mind, I’ll shut up.))

[celticheartedfangirl]

Some commentary on the S4 Episode of OUAT -- The Apprentice . . . .

I wanted to unpack this episode, and my feelings about it, to accompany @sieben9’s watching of it, and thought this would be better than reblogging their post.  They know that I’m posting this, and are aware that it will be snarky, bitchy, and negative, so please don’t go pestering their inbox with “oh don’t listen to that bitch, she’s a bitch” because A) they KNOW THIS already (it’s not a fact I’ve hidden from ANYONE) and B) again – they know I’m making this post instead of reblogging theirs and that it’s not going to be all glee and squee.  

This episode is one I have never revisited.  (To be fair, I’ve not revisited MOST of the episodes from S4 on.)  But this one is forever seared onto my brain.  This is a LONG POST so under the cut . . . . .

 This episode was a turning point for me for 4 reasons:

 1)      I got a CLEAR PICTURE of what trajectory Rumbelle was on (as a pairing AND as individual characters) and I wasn’t happy

2)      I got a CLEAR PICTURE of the Hook trajectory and again – I wasn’t happy

3)      What VERY LITTLE remaining respect and/or admiration I retained for Adam and Eddy (which was not much at this point) VANISHED after this episode aired

4)      This episode forever changed the fandom dynamic for me

Now . . . . . let’s unpack this and start with #1 . . . . Rumbelle.

Rumbelle had just gotten married, and up until this point, aside from E1 with the dance (which to ME, although it was lovely and wonderful, also screamed “HEY!!!! FROZEN FANS JUST NOW WATCHING!  LOOK! IT’S BEAUTY AND THE BEAST!  YOU KNOW THEM!!!!”), we’ve gotten pretty much NOTHING for them.  So . . . . . . . let’s chat about the dock scene.

 Yes, that DELETED DOCK SCENE.  This one right here:

 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELkuD6zpZ2U

And look at that – not even cleaned up.  Which tells me that A&E decided to CUT THIS SCENE – this 37 second scene that they could NOT SPARE 37 SECONDS FOR – before they even started the editing process. Because otherwise – this would be a cleaned up scene.

And we wouldn’t even know it EXISTED if it hadn’t been for the fact that it was an outdoor scene and there were a FUCK TON of people on site that day taking photos.  

LOOK AT ALL THE BTS:

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/95364011977/attackontaetan-emilie-de-ravin-robert-carlyle 

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/95373664507/you-guys-this-episode-wont-air-until-october-19

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/95364068497/betsypaige22-thatravenclawbitch

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/95373377122/tjmystic-rumbelleotp-on-scene-pics-update

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/95396861777/scififantasytv-robert-emilie-filming-aug-20

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/95397126162/ouatwholock-august-20th-4x04-filming-x-i

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/95395846932/vicieinatv-aaaaah-kiss-rumbelle

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/95327102332/myaussiebelle-rumplestiltskin-rumbelle

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/95327345502/fairytaleasoldastime-emilie-de-ravin-and-robert

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/95320025497/delintthedarkone-itssandgirl-can-i-just-say

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/95327073767/lulices-rumbelle-cuddling

And of course, my personal favorite:

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/95468578777/mrgoldsdearie-ouatcrack-he-does-things-to

I’d say I’m sorry for that last one but . . . . I’m really not so . . . .

Anyhow . . . the Rumbelle fandom was so excited about this scene.  Cause we’d had these BTS photos for WEEKS . . . and then they just . . . . CUT IT . . .

And Adam posted it on Twitter two weeks later because the Rumbelle fandom had a collective shit fit directed at him and he basically wanted to shut us the hell up.

And this all makes me wonder . . . .  what ELSE had they filmed up to this point that we’ll never see?  Because it’s OBVIOUS that at some point, between Episode 1 and Episode 4 – they changed the trajectory of what the had in store for Rumple, Belle, and Rumbelle.

Why, you ask?  Well first of all – don’t forget that in E2, they cut that scene with Rumple and Henry.  A scene that Bobby GUSHED ABOUT at SDCC (starts at 1:40):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqYngk_12Sw

Also Bobby talked about Rumple being ADDICTED TO MAGIC several times at SDCC.  Here’s one example (mentions it at the end):  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OCtgv4nX24

So . . . . . what we’re seeing to this point is so far TWO significant scenes that show Rumple as a caring human being have been CUT, one of them before the editing process even began.

And if they’re telling an addiction story . . . . . they’re sure as fuck not SHOWING US that here. They’re showing us Rumple being shady and an asshole . . . . but they’re not showing us addiction.  And even though Bobby is PLAYING IT that way . . . . . most viewers don’t do subtle.  The narrative must CLEARLY and UNEQUIVOCALLY TELL US that this is, in fact, what is going on.  And it doesn’t.  

Also – Belle has BARELY been on, and when she has been, it’s with Rumple.  I mean . . . . . gee, it’s like they don’t know what to DO with her without Rumple . . . . . . amazing that the fandom, at this point, has LOTS of ideas . .  . but the people who get paid for it?  Nothing.

So anyhow – that’s point ONE.

Onto point TWO . . . .

By now, we get it. They want Hook front and center. He is their pet, they want to go with Captain Swan.  Okay. But here’s another instance of “SHOW DON’T TELL.”  Having Hook follow Emma around like a lost puppy and just standing there isn’t TELLING. And also Emma has already had scenes with Regina and Elsa so far this season that show WAY more chemistry than any of the schmoopy shit they’re giving us with Emma and Hook.  

But here’s the kicker – instead of – you know – actually putting Hook on an actual, real, redemption arc – it just seems WAY easier to have him bully and blackmail Rumple (to get his HAND BACK so that he can play grab and tickle with his new boo without stabbing her, BTW) and make it look like RUMPLE is the baddie and Hook is just trying to be a good guy.  Basically they’re tearing down Rumple to prop up Hook.  Instead of showing Rumple’s struggle with addiction and Hook’s struggle with dealing with all the criminal shit he’s done in the past – THIS is the path they’re going with.  This is a disservice to BOTH characters.  And this episode, combined with the aforementioned factors, told me that yup, we’re doing this.  Because . . . .

Point THREE . . . . .

These writers are lazy as fuck and don’t want to be bothered writing complexity for literally ANYONE. Let’s not even discuss my issues with the Rumple trajectory.  Let’s look at Emma and her stupid little Pink Sandra Dee dress and the Charmings fawning over their damn date with a polaroid camera.

Who ARE these people? Did someone do a body swap with the Charming family?  Because that was some serious OOC shit, and for what?  To PROP UP HOOK.  So not only are they making Rumple an ass to prop the pirate, they’re making Emma and her parents into people I don’t recognize.  Because A&E are gross and seem to think that a woman must look and act a ‘certain way’ in order for a manly man like Hook to want to date her.  (I swear there’s some quote out there about “Hook makes Emma feminine” or some shit like that post-this episode.  Anyone have that link?)

Can you say misogynist?

And FOUR . . . . fandom . . . . . *sigh*

First of all, and example of post-episode banter from the pro Hook brigade:

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/101264943652/killian-wasnt-making-a-death-threat-against

So that was fun.  Now let’s move onto the Rumbelle fandom and a variety of commentary:

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/100465938827/so-it-doesnt-bother-you-that-while-gold-is

http://pamchenko-twist.tumblr.com/post/100272360750/mentemmortalia-if-the-writers-want-to-turn

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/100460351767/so-are-they-cutting-that-cute-little-romantic

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/100466470197/you-are-not-a-real-rumbeller-please-leave-your

http://thestraggletag.tumblr.com/post/100604059906/somewhat-pessimist-mini-rant-below-more-i

http://pamchenko-twist.tumblr.com/post/100608988655/charmedrumbelle-cartoonjessie

So the above is a mix of positive, negative, and general frustration.  

But THESE were the kicker for me (this is ME):

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/100499172547/thatravenclawbitch-spottytonguedog

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/100497962147/you-know-what-i-dont-know-what-is-more-hurtful

This is kind of the beginning of my PERSONAL trajectory within the fandom  . . . . . . . FYI . . .

This was the point where I realized that I was watching a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SHOW than about half of the fandom . . . . . . . .

All of the above posts were written post-episode 4.  

So I walked away from E4 frustrated about Rumple, Belle, Rumbelle, the propping of Hook, the shitty writers and their inability to write a complex story, and the obvious to me early beginnings of the breakdown of the Rumbelle fandom.  

Of course I had no idea what was coming, nor am I going to say because I know @sieben9 is spoiler free.

I just wanted them (and others who may have come in late in the game) to have a full grasp of WHY this episode, which in hindsight probably isn’t THAT BAD, was a turning point for me and many others.  Cause I know I’m not alone.

On the PLUS SIDE . . . . . we did get some lovely dock scene fan art:

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/100698762707/spottytonguedog-delintthedarkone-the-lost

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/101345237832/retrogrlfan-rip-docks-scene

And some ‘let’s make fun of Hook’ stuff which is always amusing:

http://celticheartedfangirl.tumblr.com/post/100594138302/winterelf86-mathematicaltardistime-this-is-a

Look, I obviously kept watching the show.  But this episode?  It was just NEVER THE SAME FOR ME after this.  

[smoljohnlock]

THE FINAL PROBLEM (PART 1)

“May be the hardest case of your career” 

1. THE GREAT GAME

JIM: D’you know what happens if you don’t leave me alone, Sherlock, to you? SHERLOCK: Oh, let me guess: I get killed. JIM: Kill you? N-no, don’t be obvious. I mean, I’m gonna kill you anyway some day. I don’t wanna rush it, though. I’m saving it up for something special. No-no-no-no-no. If you don’t stop prying, I’ll burn you. I’ll burn the heart out of you. SHERLOCK: I have been reliably informed that I don’t have one. JIM: But we both know that’s not quite true.

2. A SCANDAL IN BELGRAVIA

Making Sherlock aware of John’s feelings for him & making John jealous. So The Fall will have a bigger emotional impact on them.

IRENE: And somebody loves you. If I had to punch that face, I'd avoid your nose and teeth too.

IRENE: The key-code to my safe. JOHN: What was it? IRENE: Shall I tell him? My measurements.

You quote the whole episode but the Battersea scene is the key here (the conversation between John and Irene which Sherlock eavesdrops)

SHERLOCK: Oh, you’re rather good. IRENE: You’re not so bad.   JOHN: John Hamish Watson – just if you were looking for baby names.

(Sherlock’s monologue shows him opinion on love at that point but it’ll also be important later on) SHERLOCK: I imagine John Watson thinks love’s a mystery to me but the chemistry is incredibly simple, and very destructive. When we first met, you told me that disguise is always a self-portrait. How true of you: the combination to your safe – your measurements; but this is far more intimate. This is your heart and you should never let it rule your head. You could have chosen any random number and walked out of here today with everything you’ve worked for but you just couldn’t resist it, could you?  I’ve always assumed that love is a dangerous disadvantage... Thank you for the final proof. 

3. THE REICHENBACH FALL

SHERLOCK: So how’re you going to do it ... burn me?  JIM: Oh, that’s the problem – the final problem. Have you worked out what it is yet? What’s the final problem? I did tell you... but did you listen? How hard do you find it, having to say “I don’t know”?   SHERLOCK: I don’t know.  JIM: Oh, that’s clever; that’s very clever; awfully clever. 

Okay, let’s stop here for a minute... Sherlock geniuely didn’t know what The Final Problem was, and he didn’t even get it on the roof (SH to Jim: I am you. Prepared to do anything. Prepared to burn.), distracted by the ‘code’ and Jim’s fairytale stories. The suicide was exactly what Moriarty wanted, because TFP was all about the consequences of Sherlock’s ‘death’.

“What’s the final problem? I did tell you... but did you listen?”

Back to TGG:  I’ll burn the heart out of you. SHERLOCK: I have been reliably informed that I don’t have one. JIM: But we both know that’s not quite true.

The heart is John Watson. Jim’s (or Mycroft’s really, but I’m not gonna get into that here) plan was to break John. By ‘killing’ himself Sherlock saved his friends. But.. did he really?

JOHN:  You ... you told me once that you weren’t a hero. There were times I didn’t even think you were human, but let me tell you this: you were the best man, and the most human ... human being that I’ve ever known and no-one will ever convince me that you told me a lie, and so ... There. I was so alone, and I owe you so much. No, please, there’s just one more thing, mate, one more thing: one more miracle, Sherlock, for me. Don’t ... be ... dead. Would you do ...? Just for me, just stop it. (He gestures down at the grave.) Stop this.

4. THE EMPTY HEARSE & THE SIGN OF 3

John trapped in an unhappy relationship with Mary, pining for Sherlock

I’ll burn the heart of out you... literally.

MARY: Oh my God, oh my God. Do you have any idea what you’ve done to him? SHERLOCK: Okay, John, I’m suddenly realising I probably owe you some sort of an apology. JOHN (in a whisper): Two years. I thought ... (He groans, unable to continue and gesturing helplessly. Mary stares at him in sympathy. John finally straightens and turns to Sherlock.) JOHN: I thought ... you were dead. Now, you let me grieve, hmm? How could you do that? How?

In TEH, Sherlock still hasn’t figured it out. He accuses John of overreacting and plays a trick on him to force forgiveness. Although the realization of all the pain he put John through starts to slowly sink in.

The wedding, both John and Sherlock pining for each other, Mary stands in the way. There’s no hope for Sherlock to be with John anymore, even though he wants to.

MRS HUDSON: I remember she left early. I mean, who leaves a wedding early? So sad. 

(He walks through his bedroom to his wardrobe, where a morning suit is hanging from the open door. He looks at it.) SHERLOCK: Into battle.

SHERLOCK: Ah, that’s why he’s bouncing round him like a puppy. MARY: Oh, Sherlock! Neither of us were the first, you know.

MYCROFT: Oh, by the way, Sherlock – do you remember Redbeard? SHERLOCK: I’m not a child any more, Mycroft. MYCROFT: No, of course you’re not. Enjoy not getting involved, Sherlock. 

Just... the whole episode, It’s all p a i n

5. HIS LAST VOW

John’s just back from the honeymoon, already missing Sherlock. Sherlock finds relief in drugs, sells John a lie it was for a case. In TRF, Moriarty talks about pressure points, so does Magnussen in HLV.

MAGNUSSEN: Very hard to find a pressure point on you, Mr Holmes. The drugs thing I never believed for a moment. Anyway, you wouldn’t care if it was exposed, would you? But look how you care about John Watson. Your damsel in distress. JOHN: You put me in a fire... for leverage? MAGNUSSEN: Oh, I’d never let you burn, Doctor Watson. I had people standing by. MAGNUSSEN: I’m not a murderer ... unlike your wife.

(In S4, Mary is a mirror for Sherlock. If you think S3 is EMP as well, you could say Mary is a mirror here, as well)

Mary shoots Sherlock. Forwards or backwards? Backwards. So from now on, we’re going through everything that has happened before.

6 .THE ABOMINABLE BRIDE

This episode is extremely important, because Sherlock finally realises what’s The Final Problem, then S4 is solving it. 

In TAB, Sherlock tries to figure out how Moriarty survived and what happened on the roof. (Funny thing is, we’ve got three final problems in BBC Sherlock - TRF, TAB and TFP. Proof that it’s what Sherlock is still working on)

HOLMES: Gun in the mouth; a bullet through the brain; back of the head blown clean off. How could he survive?

Deep waters, going deeper into his mind (will be important in S4)

I shall have to go deep. Into What? Myself.

These are deep waters, Watson, deep waters. And I shall have to go deeper still.

You're in deep, Sherlock, deeper than you ever intended to be.

H: Still not awake, am I? Moriarty: Too deep, Sherlock, way too deep. Congratulations, you will be the first man in history to be buried in his own Mind Palace.

MORIARTY: This is how we end, you and I. Always here, always together. HOLMES: You have a magnificent brain, Moriarty. I admire it. I concede it may be even be the equal of my own. MORIARTY: I’m touched. I’m honoured. HOLMES: But when it comes to the matter of unarmed combat on the edge of a precipice you’re going in the water short-arse. MORIARTY: Oh, you think you’re so big and strong, Sherlock! Not with me! I am your WEAKNESS! I keep you DOWN! Every time you STUMBLE, every time you FAIL, when you’re WEAK ...: I ... AM ... THERE! No. Don’t try to fight it. LIE BACK AND LOSE! Shall we go over together? It has to be together, doesn’t it? At the end, it’s always just you ... AND ME! WATSON: Professor, if you wouldn’t mind stepping away from my friend. I do believe he finds your attention a shade annoying. MORIARTY: That’s not fair. There’s two of you! WATSON: There’s always two of us. Don’t you read The Strand?

What’s different here is that John saves Sherlock, rather than Sherlock being like ‘alone protects me’. Sherlock should have trusted John in TRF. He finally gets it. And we get this beautiful moment:

HOLMES: Thank you, John. WATSON: Since when do you call me John? HOLMES: You’d be surprised. WATSON: No I wouldn’t.  Time you woke up, Sherlock. I’m a storyteller. I know when I’m in one. HOLMES: Of course. Of course you do, John. WATSON: So what’s he like? The other me, in the other place? HOLMES: Smarter than he looks. WATSON: Pretty damned smart, then. HOLMES (smiling): Pretty damned smart.

This is a huge turn, because from now in Sherlock will be aware of the consequences of TRF and what it did to John, then he’ll solve The Final Problem.

7. THE SIX THATCHERS

There are so many parallels in S4 not because the writers are ‘lazy’ but because Sherlock’s going ‘backwards’. Lemme bring a few lines from TAB: 1. MORIARTY: Is this silly enough for you yet? Gothic enough? Mad enough, even for you? It doesn’t make sense, Sherlock, because it’s not real. None of it. This is all in your mind. 2. MORIARTY: Doesn’t it remind you of another case? Hasn’t this all happened before? There’s nothing new under the sun. What was it?

Btw, I listed the deep waters quotes form TAB. Now think about water in S4.

S4 is just a cont. of TAB.

What’s important in S4 is that Mary is a Sherlock mirror.

MARY: My darling. I need to tell you this because you mustn’t hate me for going away. I gave myself permission to have an ordinary life. I’m not running. I promise you that. I just need to do this in my own way. but I don’t want you and Sherlock hanging off my gun arm. I’m sorry, my love. I know you’ll try to find me, but there is no point. Every move is random and not even Sherlock Holmes can anticipate the roll of a dice. I need to move the target far, far away from you and Rosie, and then I’ll come back, my darling. I swear I will.

Isn’t it familiar...? Yes, this is a reference to Sherlock hiding after TRF. Many Happy Returns. Just replace ‘you and Sherlock’ with ‘you, Mrs Hudson and Lestrade’.

MARY: I didn’t know what else to do. JOHN: You could have stayed. You could have talked to me. That’s what couples are supposed to do: work things through. MARY:  Yes, of course. JOHN: Mary, I may not be a very good man, but I think I’m a bit better than you give me credit for, most of the time. MARY: All the time. You’re always a good man, John. I’ve never doubted that. You never judge; you never complain. I don’t deserve you.  All I ever wanted to do was keep you and Rosie safe, that’s all.

Sherlock’s trying to untangle the mess he’s done.

SHERLOCK: What did you hear, Ajay? When you were a prisoner, what exactly did you hear? AJAY: What did I hear? Ammo. Every day as they tore into me. Ammo. Ammo.  Ammo.

SHERLOCK: How’s your Latin, brother dear? MYCROFT: My Latin? SHERLOCK: Amo, amas, amat. MYCROFT: I love, you love, he loves.

Sherlock tortured by love/thinking of John when in Serbia...

NORBURY killed Sherlock Mary

SHERLOCK: If you ever think I’m becoming a bit full of myself, cocky or over-confident would you just say the word ‘Norbury’ to me, would you?

Wasn’t he cocky and over-confident on the roof? He definitely was and as it turned out, he had no idea what he was doing. Idk about you, but I’m amazed at the character development.

Sherlock Mary dies - and it breaks John.

Sherlock asks Ella for help: I need to know what to do about John.

He finds a CD - MISS ME? 

I’m giving you a case, Sherlock. When I’m gone – if I’m gone – I need you to do something for me. Save John Watson. Save him, Sherlock. Save him.

--------------------------

I’ll post the second part as soon as I have some free time & energy. Didn’t want to squeeze everything into one post, because it’s too long anyway. I didn’t reread it, so sorry for all the mistakes. Transcripts x

[spectreblanc]

Why Episode Ignis SUCKS!

So, here I am.

Episode Ignis is morally corrupt AND bad for the gaming industry. I'm serious. This kind of catering to the fans could seriously ruin the gaming industry if it isn't ruined already.

I wasn't originally going to say anything about what I thought of Episode Ignis, and I'm aware that this will probably earn me a steady stream of hate on this blog, but I don't care because I really hate the way Tabata just keeps vomiting out whatever he THINKS we want to see. And when said "vomit" comes in the form of some VERY disturbing themes- not only within the narrative, but in story-telling itself- that's when I just gotta say something.

None of this is fan theories or trying to figure out what's really happened or trying to fill in plot holes. It's clear both endings have plot holes. This blog is just WHAT'S WRONG WITH EPISODE IGNIS AND WHY I HATED IT. And why, in my opinion, it didn't fix anything.

I've compiled my reasons into one little...big blog. Divided into chapters for organization.

(I'm not borrowing anybody's opinions or theories, btw. I wrote this blog before I even knew anyone had similar fan reactions to mine about the alternate ending.)

The date I started writing this in One Note was Dec 14, in case anyone is interested. No? Okay.

So buckle up, and don't say I didn't warn you...

HEAVY SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

CHAPTERS:

1. IGNIS IS OUT OF CHARACTER 2. IGNIS IS A SELFISH PRICK 3. IGNIS TAKES OVER EVERONE ELSE'S ROLE 4. THE ORIGINAL STORY'S BUILD-UP AND CLIMAX IS GROSSLY OFFSET 5. WHY THE ORIGINAL STORY IS BETTER 6. COMPARING FFXV'S STORY TO OTHER GREAT EPICS 7. BAD MORAL/MESSAGE 8. THIS ENDING IS NOT CANON 9. PURE FANSERVICE 10. LINGERING QUESTIONS 11. OTHER THINGS I PERSONALLY DIDN'T LIKE 12. IN CONCLUSION

Okay, saying episode Ig sucks is kind of shameless clickbait, I admit. The episode proper was actually great and I really enjoyed it. It was compelling, exciting and answered enough questions. The alternate ending part... Not so much.

Keep in mind that most of my criticism is directed toward the Alternate Ending, and from a story-teller's vantage point, but there is a bit directed toward the main episode as well. And this is just STORY criticism. The gameplay elements of Episode Ignis and the visuals and music were great. No complaints there.

So, let's get started!

1. IGNIS IS OUT OF CHARACTER

We're all familiar with the bespectacled, level-headed, pensive advisor that is Ignis Scientia. With his cool logical methods, he is the one the bros- and most importantly Noct- rely on as their anchor. The voice of reason in the medley of chaotic situations which they often find themselves. But, watch out! Throw a magic ring and a prophetic vision into the mix, and he becomes a one-man recipeh for disaster, who's ready to literally burn the world! See what I mean:

-Ignis doesn't use any of the cool decision-making skills we've come to expect from him in the main game. He's all raw emotion and flights of fancy now.

-He's never shown signs of obsessive protectiveness over Noct before. He cares, yes, but one little vision makes him completely lose his ability to examine the situation and think clearly. This is a direct contradiction to everything we've previously learned about his personality!

-The creators of episode Ignis also based the alternate ending on the comradeship that was built up in the story parts that THEY CUT OFF. The close bonds that the bros come to forage during the later parts of the game never happen, thus making their actions (and especially IGNIS'S actions) unrealistic. Remember, all that's happened to the bros at this point is a few hours on the road trip in the regalia, they've captured a few summons, collected a few weapons... Nothing has really happened. No death, no vision loss, Ignis and the others act like the story proper has already taken place.

2. IGNIS IS A SELFISH PRICK

The alternate ending seems innocent enough. Ardyn threatens to kill Ignis, and he has little choice but to put on the ring and defend himself. But it's what Ignis says first that is highly disturbing. Ignis's words are at best emotionally compromised-- at worst, EVIL. Let's listen in on some quotes:

-"This world means nothing to me. Do with it as you wish!" (To Ardyn) (TO ARDYN!!!!)

-"A world without him isn't worth saving!" ??? What about Prompto and Gladio? What about Iris, Cindy, Cid and Aranea, you BLATHERING BOBBY-SOCK??? ...Actually they never make nice with Aranea if this happens, do they... Huh.

-"I refuse to let Noctis sacrifice himself!" Again, "I refuse to do this." "I refuse to do that." Ignis isn't thinking about what is really best for Noct and the others. He's thinking about himself and what he wants or doesn't want. Isn't that Noct's choice? Did you ask him? Ig only wants it to go HIS way. Like, Dude, just because your bud might die, you'll let the world burn? That's not your choice!

And I'm sorry, this isn't self sacrificing or beautiful. It's DANGEROUS for Ignis to be thinking this way, much less get praised for it. He's willing to throw away everything everyone has sacrificed up until that point. Regis, Luna, Nyx, EVERYBODY. Ignis didn't 'rebel against fate'. He acted selfishly without consulting any of his friends, and only by the good grace of Tabata did it work.

-Ignis doesn't believe in Noctis. Regis and Luna both believed in him, but Ignis sees one vision and freaks the hell out. He is like: "No, I will make all these decisions for Noct. I will not allow him to decide if he wants to go through with it. I'll risk burning the world down instead." Whatever happened to "Stand by Me"?

-after he learns of Noct's potential death, Ignis tries to make Noctis discontinue his journey. Even though he knows now that Noct is the only one who has the power to save the world! And just as Noct is beginning to realize how important it is! Just on the heels of Luna's death! He's only thinking that he doesn't want Noct to die because he's SELFISH.

-Ignis treads dangerously close to the same path as Ardyn in the alternate ending and it's NOT RIGHT that he can do the same thing, yet have a better result. Selfishness ALWAYS leads to harming those we wish to protect most.

-I CAN'T BELIEVE THE LUCII FOUND HIM WORTHY OF THEIR POWER WHEN HE JUST DECLARED HE WOULD LET ARDYN BURN THE WORLD DOWN! Sense made: 0%

3. IGNIS TAKES OVER EVERONE ELSE'S ROLE

Say hello to you new protagonist everybody! Ignis Scientia effectively usurps the lead position from Noctis. (And everybody else's positions too.) Watch this:

-Ignis takes over Noct's role of the game's protagonist/hero.

-Ignis takes over Gladio's role as Noct's guardian. He says something like: "I swore an oath to protect him!" No, Ignis. That's Gladio's job. You are a cook, remember? Now be a good boy and come up with a new recipeh for us.

-Ignis takes over Prompto's role as Ardyn's hostage in Gralea.

-Ardyn reveals his true identity to Ignis (a complete stranger) and Noctis never finds out??? Idk.

-Ignis takes over Ardyn’s role as the guy who’s gonna burn the world.

-Ignis takes everyone's role for himself except his own, which was to be the pensive, intelligent and dependable advisor. He totally takes leave of his brain!

4. THE ORIGINAL STORY'S BUILD-UP AND CLIMAX IS GROSSLY OFFSET

-The train ride to Gralea, Noctis coming to terms with Luna's death, finding the strength to wear the ring-- all this character development and story arcs NEVER HAPPEN! Noct just decides on the spot that he's gonna hop right into the crystal and... That's basically it. No doubts or fears or hesitation like he had in the original story. Nope, we skip all the development and cut right to the chase. The previous build-up made him a human, relatable and interesting character. It made us stand up and cheer for Noct. Now, just the sight of Ignis messed up on the ground and BOOM! Skip straight to the ending. Character development and struggles be damned! Such an immediate decision as Noct makes is not only highly unrelated to his character, but doesn't even make for a good story. I don't know how people say it does.

-Everything becomes too easy. Luna's death and Iggy's vision loss stirs up some serious turbulence that the bros have to work out before they continue their journey. All this is skipped in the alternate ending.

-Ignis's vision loss becomes just a tease.

-There's no penalty for using the ring's ultimate power to banish Ardyn for good. Noctis's survival doesn't make any sense. It's kinda easy to defy fate when there's no consequences for any of your actions, eh? Seriously, there's no consequences to putting on the ring and summoning the Knights of the Round to defeat Ardyn and restore light. This is wildly out of whack with every way the ring's magic has worked until this point. (That is: draining life force in exchange for magic.)

-Noctis doesn't die defeating Ardyn now? Just because Ig used the ring on him ten years ago, doesn't mean he's still weakened all this time later. And if it does, then we should just do this all the time. There's no good explanation for this that I've seen.

-And why would Ardyn still go through with his plan. I mean, you can't exact revenge on your own bloodline and the crystal if you're not strong enough to at least take him down with you, Ard.

-Luna and Noctis's "love story" (big fan) is stepped all over. Not that it was well written to begin with, but now her death has no effect on Noctis or anything that comes after. I guess Tabata's no good with commitment to relationships.

-Ignis trying to "change fate" is like saying every other character didn't try to figure out EVERY possible way to save Noctis. Do you think Luna wouldn't have tried to find a way to save her only friend? DO YOU THINK REGIS WOULDN'T HAVE TRIED TO FIND A WAY TO SAVE HIS OWN SON?? No, they were basically stuck-up bigots who were willing to sacrifice Noct because it was convenient. Yep. Not buying it. I mean, Ravus looked for years for another way for Luna to fulfill her calling without spending life force (even selling his own soul in the process) and couldn't do it, and suddenly Iggy just snaps his fingers and BOOM! "I've come up with a new way to fix everything!" Imma call bogus on that one.

-Now the Genesis artwork makes no sense, because Noct never had a blind companion.

-Luna's t- t-...tr...TRUE feelings for Noct are never disclosed via Gentiana/Shiva.

-Ardyn is now on the losing end for the bulk of the game. Horrible dramatization!

-The world of darkness now has reduced meaning because everyone now knows Noct is gonna be back and kick Ardyn's backside in a bit.

5. WHY THE ORIGINAL STORY IS BETTER

I say "story" and not "ending" because it's pretty obvious how much of a change there is to the story, depending on which ending you choose.

So, there's a generally accepted fan theory that Noctis never had a choice in his destiny and was basically funnelled down the path to complete it by the prophecy and/or the Astrals and/or the Knights of the Round. Not going to name any names, of course, but there's this thing that the FFXV fandom says: "Noctis never had a choice but to sacrifice himself. That he was the slave of the prophecy and the Astrals were using him." That he was a victim of circumstance. That it "wasn't fair". Like somehow the prophecy and Astrals were forcing Noct to kill himself.

I've never seen any real evidence to support this. On the contrary, no one is forcing Noctis to do this. The prophecy's not something you can rebel against. A prophecy is just a foretelling of something that is to come. It doesn't force anybody to do anything. In fact, it's only fair that Noctis know what's coming if he chooses to go through with his destiny. A last chance to turn and run from it if he so wishes. In fact, it would be unfair if he had no warning whatsoever.

The magic of the ring is what kills Noct. We know that the more magic one uses, the more life force is drained (see KG and ep Ig). Like simple Physics: what goes up must come down. He who uses the magic must sacrifice life force. That's what magic runs on. (like king Regis ages more quickly as he uses magic to keep up the new wall) It's nobody's fault. As the only one with the power to use as much magic needed to defeat Ardyn, (even the Astrals can't) Noctis has a choice to make. Surrender his life force to kill Ardyn, or give up and run. THAT is Noct's choice.

And he makes conscious decisions to sacrifice himself many times throughout the story. This is what makes our heroes and heroines worth looking up to. Putting aside their own desires and doing the best for everyone.

"I think I can do it... I won't let you down!" He tells Luna.

Still, Noctis had many chances to run. He could have turned from his responsibility and turned back. But he knew his Dad and Luna and the bros and the WORLD was counting on him. By the time he emerges from the crystal we see his resolve. He's made his decision and he'll see it through.   Because only HE can. Only the chosen. By the ending campfire scene and when he takes Prompto's photo as a keepsake, it's clear he'd made his choice. And the bros RESPECT IT. They STAND BY HIM. There's none of this second-guessing stuff or making decisions for Noct.

As for being a victim of circumstance, aren't all heroes?

Ardyn, for one. Here we have an example of a man who could have been a hero, but his jealousy of his brother led him to do things that led him to hurting those he once swore to help. Noctis didn't let this responsibility drag him into the depths of despair and spite like Ardyn did.

The important thing is that Noctis makes the right choice. If he didn't, he would have ended up like poor, corrupted, jealous Ardyn.

As I said before, Ignis treads dangerously close to the same path as Ardyn in the alternate ending, and it's NOT RIGHT that he can do the same thing, yet achieve a better result. Selfishness ALWAYS leads to harming those we wish to protect most.

A direct corruption of morals.

6. COMPARING FFXV'S STORY TO OTHER GREAT EPICS

Seems like a good time to reference Lord of the Rings, since it's obvious Final Fantasy gets a lot of inspiration from there:

For example: It was never Frodo's choice to inherit Sauron's ring of power, but as the story progresses, he learns to accept his burden, because he understands that if he can't destroy it, then no one will. Even as it becomes abundantly clear that it will cost him his life. It's the doubt and fear that Frodo overcomes that makes him a true hero. He's faced with a situation no one would choose, but isn't that how all heroes are made? In the end he chooses to do what's right.

Likewise Noctis: As the chosen King of light, Noctis finds himself in a situation no one would choose. But it's how he handles it-- forces on in spite of everything -- because he knows it has to be done. And like Frodo, he finds himself the only one who has the means to do it. And he does it because it's the RIGHT thing.

And that's the ONLY kind of hero worth looking up to.

Other elements of the two stories match up too, like four protagonists set out on a journey, one with a very special mission, although they all will have to sacrifice part of themselves to see it through. 

Speaking of which, let's take a look at the similarities between the theme songs:

In Dreams, by Howard Shore:

When the cold of winter comes,   Starless night will cover day, In the veiling of the sun , We will walk in bitter rain, But in dreams, I can hear your name, And in dreams, We will meet again,

And now Stand by Me, by Ben E. King:

When the night has come, And the land is dark, And the moon is the only light we'll see, No, I won't be afraid, Oh, I won't be afraid, Just as long as you stand, Stand by me,

As you can see, both songs tell of the world being enveloped in darkness, but the bravery of the heroes spurs them on to complete their task with the help of their friends, because the world and all good things in the world DEPEND ON IT.

And, yes it's nice if there's an easy way out. A quick way to escape hardship and possible death. And in real life this even happens a lot, but those are the stories you never hear about because there's no sacrifice, effort and determination in them. For instance, if the Great eagles were to grab the ring of power, fly over to Mt. Doom and plop it in the lava, that wouldn't be a real story worth listening to.

Likewise, if Iggy were to put on the ring of the Lucii FOR Noctis, and defeat Ardyn halfway through the game, pretty much skipping the journey and the evolution of the characters, then that wouldn't be a good story, would it?

Why do you think you're so heart broken when Noctis finally does decide to sacrifice himself? Because, you got to know him and his friends throughout their journey. Their struggles. You felt like you were actually there through the ups and downs, observing all their actions. Taking part even. Through their hardship you learned to LOVE these characters and care about the choices they make.

That's how it should be. That's what makes every good story GREAT.

Look around. All your favourite stories follow the same pattern. It's not something we can dispense with to make ourselves feel better. It's OUR responsibility not to.

Okay, that got a lot deeper a lot faster than it had to, but you have to see, that Noct's sacrifice is in no way unfair or bogus. It's HIS choice.

7. BAD MORAL/MESSAGE

-So, the message the alternate ending portrays is basically: "Just act irrationally and irresponsibly on your own whims and desires. Without consulting your friends and the people who's decision this REALLY is. Things will come up aces ;)"

-Throw out your rational-thinking self-sacrificing heroes boys and girls, because here's one hot-head who NONE of the rules apply to!

-Heroes are made by the great deeds they do, and the obstacles they overcome. I guess heroes don't overcome their struggles anymore. They just go berserk and look for the quickest, easiest way out. And yay! They find it! What d'ya know. ;p

-The theme of Final Fantasy is not necessarily to "rebel against fate, or the powers that be". The theme of Final Fantasy has always been to overcome your obstacles, push forward and to do WHAT'S RIGHT, no matter the circumstance. No matter what the cost. Even if it's your own life. That's what's always been important about the Final Fantasy games I'VE played. That's the message I've always taken away from not only the Final Fantasy stories, but all great adventures in general. That's the true message to be learned.

8. THE ALTERNATE ENDING IS NOT CANON

-People have noted already that the ending is called "Possibilities" therefore indicating that you can take it or leave it. Like something that might have happened if Ignis had taken Ardyn up on his deal to come to Gralea.

-You can only play the alternate ending if you ALREADY played the first one, which leads one to believe that that's how the game is supposed to be played.

-You're seriously gonna make me invest in a DLC to get the "Canon" ending? (A whole year after the game came out?)

-Square Enix has even confirmed that the ending is not canon, but rather a 'possibility'.

9. PURE FANSERVICE

-Just because fans bugged hard enough for an easy way out. A blatant suck-up! At a time when fan service is butchering the industry! Calling this disaster "canon" is giving Tabata an easy way out of his responsibility. A responsibility to do it right the FIRST time, not just patch all your mistakes later. (If you can call this "patching") We paid for the GAME, not fan service.

-We all wish for that perfect ending where nobody dies and everything turns up roses, but at the cost of proper development, REAL heroic sacrifices and grievances and battle scars, I say NO.

10. LINGERING QUESTIONS AND PLOT HOLES

-So, remember that part when Noctis is lying there on the ground, and Ignis is lying there too and Ardyn offers to take Ignis to Gralea to lure Noctis to the crystal...? The key words were: Noctis is just lying there... Yep.

-What's up with those visions? Luna sending them? There's no way she would send those to him, because why? He's a random stranger who will just freak out and burn down the world if he sees them. It seems only to set up the alternate ending. And that makes me really mad. There's no way Luna would give Ignis the idea to turn from his path. Not after how strongly she and Regis and everybody believed in Noct. There's NO reason Ignis needs to know this. UGH!

-Why does the ring hurt when Ig puts it on? It didn't hurt Nyx.

-Ardyn reveals his true identity to Ignis (a complete stranger) and Noctis never finds out??? Idk.

-Why does Ardyn taunt Ignis (a total stranger) into thinking he's going to kill Noct? What purpose does that serve?

-Why was Ardyn shocked to see the ring in the alternate ending, but in the main episode he wasn't worried?

-Why could Noctis command the crystal so easily in the alternate ending, when it was ignoring him in the main game?

-What happened to the Niflhiem Empire? Did Ardyn still kill Iedolas?

-Why doesn't Ardyn kill Ravus/turn him into a demon? So much for wiping out the bloodline of the oracle. :p

-How come in the original story, Ravus is fooled by Ardyn disguising himself (as Noct),and Ardyn then kills him, but in ep Iggy, he sees right through the fake Gladio?

-And to top it all off, Iggy walks up to Noct at the end and mouths "Your Majesty", which is already starting to spark theories that that was ARDYN! Personally, I don't buy into the theory, but why the tease?????

11. OTHER THINGS I PERSONALLY DIDN'T LIKE

-It was short. Come on, we waited until December for and hour and a half of gameplay? Episode Prompto was way longer and fuller. (And raised a lot less questions...)

-All fangirl squealing aside, Iggy's outfit changes were kinda lame.

-All that money spent on an alternative ending when the main game is starving for patches...?

-Throughout the episode proper, we get dumb clips that intentionally set up the alternate ending. Like those visions and Ravus not dying/turning into a demon. They don't even serve a purpose into the main story.

-The blatant disregard for commitment to a story.

-The voice acting was a bit off in parts. Like, sometimes Iggy is just standing there screaming. Lol

-Ignis didn't come up with ONE new recipe!

12. IN CONCLUSION

-Tabata is spineless!

-Ahem, sorry. So yeah. Everything in this new ending is pretty messed up. The first one had it's issues, but this one to me is 10,000,000,000,872.5 times worse. It's hollow, with no backbone, and plays out like a cheesy fan fic I would pass up on AO3.

-Look, I love sweety, fluffy, nonsensical endings and happily ever afters and shippy ships too, but if Tabata sees the rate at which we're lapping up this sugar and rainbow vomit, he'll wonder why he should even waste time developing fleshed out characters with real struggles and cohesive stories, and we'll be stuck in this cheap fan service HELL forever! And that's disrespectful to true story tellers and well established character arcs everywhere! Disrespectful to the name of Final Fantasy!

-So yeah. That's all I wanted to say. I'll say no more on why I hate the alternate ending, because I know a lot of people liked it. I just wanted my friends to know why I'm won't be hopping up on this alternate ending train any time soon. ^^

Thanks for reading. Stay epic, you guys!

[scottstiles]

i was tagged by @clarz - thank you for this! rules: answer questions given by the person who tagged you, write 11 new questions of your own, tag 11 people. 

i’m gonna tag some people today cuz i worked hard on this and it took a long time...whoops. no pressure XD @wellsjahasghost @tylerstitties @runicscribbles @xproskeith @anomalagous @ginevraslovegood @quicklikelight​  @westhallen @lozenger8 @prudence-halliwell @malecbellarke

omg i’m sorry i just realized it’s really long. this is what happens when you take 2 days to answer a tag game. feel free to skip my answers and head to the new Qs if you want! or neither! love you <3

1. Do you find it frustrating that although you know how certain things “work” (for instance, how a love interest not calling you back automatically increases your interest), you can’t help but being drawn in? Can you give me an example? (For the record, this principle describes the entirety of my complicated one-sided relationship with one Harry Edward Styles.)

Yeeeeah i feel like most things in my life approach that level of frustration tbh. I have very little self control sometimes. I’m covered in a haze of addiction, and my impulse control/temper lives on a volatile little rickety branch in my brain where there’s always a lightning storm in the distance. Okay so what I mean is (and I’m not sure i really understand the question but I’m trying), I find it extremely frustrating that I am always aware of what the outcome will be and yet I constantly put myself in the position to be frustrated and/or disappointed by it. Did I get it? Like, if we’re talkin about celebrity obsessions, or having a crush on someone (which, yeah, I guess I kinda remember what that’s like irl), I suppose I’ve come to terms with that kind of distant admiration thing being divorced from reality- I mean, it’s been a life long struggle, so it doesn’t really get to me as much anymore. Usually. The “fangirl” in me is very, very young, and I don’t really know her anymore. If I’m talking about fighting my impulses or my mental health, or like, leaving earlier so I’m not late and then angry in traffic.... that’s a bit more frustrating. I will never leave early. Why? I don’t fucking know. And it’s the Worst. Idk if that fits with your question but yeah, I know how my behavior affects my mood and I could change it, but I don’t, and I can’t help it.

2. What is the longest book or series of books you’ve ever read? Were you at a loss when you finished? Do you generally like series or prefer stand-alone books?

The Sword of Truth series by Terry Goodkind! I love it so much. Haven’t read it in a long time, but that shit is like over 20 books and he’s still writing.. a legend. I was at a loss several times at the end of certain books that I thought were really gonna be the End, but then he made some like, spin off series a bit. So we’re good. Generally I love a good series, but there are so many stand alone books that I adore so.. I don’t know. Why am I writing so formally? This is tiresome, I’m gonna stop now. Stupid capital letters.

other series i love include everything in the tolkien universe, and of course harry potter, and also the percy jackson books. tolkien is pretty epic, to say the least, and rick riordan is fucking prolific, so hp is like, on the small side in terms of series (tho i did reread the last 2 at least a dozen times, and the audiobooks on many a long drive). also those motherfukcing maze runner books were like... there’s not that many of them, but that one i can definitely say left me at a loss. i’m still not ready to watch the last 2 movies but i hope to one day. for dylan.

3. Ever seen a therapist or gone to a support group? Did it help?

yup. i’ve seen quite a few therapists. i don’t think it’s helped in the long term, and i’m not sure it helped in the short, though there was a time i liked it because i was indulging my self analysis, but that for sure wasn’t helpful. i tried a couple cbt therapists thinking that could be a good way to go, but nothing ever really changed, so it’s hard to tell what’s going wrong- is it the therapy or is it me? idk i just think on the whole it’s got a negative color for me. i still see someone once every few weeks, but it’s a chore. this is really completely against everything i believe about therapy, btw, and i def considered becoming one when i was in university. i do think it’s beneficial, i guess just maybe not to me.

4. What is the longest road trip you’ve ever taken? Did you drive or were you just a passenger? What is your favorite road trip ritual, if you have any (the particular gas station snacks, the car games, the fights over music choices, the rest stops, etc.)?

oh my, well i’ve been on a few road trips in my life, but probably not as many as you americans do. the longest one was probably as a child, when i was about 3 or 4 my parents took us across the states, to the grand canyon (i don’t think we actually got there) in our mustard yellow vw bus. i had to be too small to remember but i definitely do (my dad’s a photographer so the boxes upon boxes of film helps): - sleeping on the ceiling in the bus like on a fucking shelf that stuck out above the driver seats. it was way too cool. - staying in a trailer park and walking over to this little building where there was some scary movie playing that had spinning wheels on fire (i think it was like some 80s horror version of rumpelstiltskin or something). i can literally picture a scene from it, just can’t really describe it. traumatizing. - playing on a beach somewhere (cape cod?) and having something nip at my little toes.

on other trips with friends we’ve shared the driving, but the most recent one from LA to vegas my friend wouldn’t let me touch the rental wheel. he thinks i’m a terrible driver. it was ok tho i got to take pictures instead.

i don’t really have a fave ritual since i don’t do much road “tripping” per se, but since i’ve lived in both toronto and new york i have done a shit ton of driving long distance, and i absolutely love it. my fave thing to do is make sure i have enough show tunes and stand up comedy on the playlist, and even some cds on back up, so i can lose my voice on the drive. usually i have some good ol’ tim horton’s french vanilla and a croissant on the side to keep me going, and if it’s long enough i usually stop somewhere for some french fries and/or a coke to wake up. god i love driving.

5. Which do you find increases more rapidly, your age or your idea of what age is old?

ugh. my age. i don’t feel old but that stupid time nonsense says otherwise. it needs to stop.

6. Do you talk to your animals when no one else is in the room? What do you say to them? Do you talk to animals you see on the street, at zoos, in your yard? How much of a face does an animal have to have to be talk-to-able? (For example, do rodents count? Birds? Fish? Cockroaches? WHERE’S THE LINE)

absolutely. i talk to pretty much fucking everything, animals or otherwise, i don’t care who’s in the room. there is no line. the line does not exist.

7. If they cooked, which dish of your mom’s/dad’s/parental figure is or was your favorite? Which was your least favorite? Do you often cook dishes your parents used to make for you for yourself now, as an adult?

welllllll my parents do cook, but over the years i came to really dislike a lot of my mom’s cooking.. habits, lets say. my dad is great on the bbq, and with all meats, but my mom is usually the organizer and most often the chef. her staples are chicken and brisket, sometimes salmon, in various ways. the problem is i’ve always been a picky eater, and tho my own tastes have branched out, my mom still thinks she needs to cook everything super plain and sometimes it’s kinda gross. like, she’ll make some fancy chicken for everyone else and throw a boneless breast covered in teriyaki sauce in a casserole in the oven for me. it does NOT taste good. but she can make a really great schnitzel, and brisket is hard to do wrong. i don’t make anything for myself the way she does it really, but my eating/cooking habits are all wonky anyway.

8. Do you ever check your voicemail? Do you answer calls from numbers you don’t have programmed into your phone?

i check it if someone left a message, why wouldn’t you? what if it’s an emergency? in fact, my best friend does not. so i guess.. that’s a thing. i for sure do not answer any call that doesn’t show a name that i recognize- even then it’s a stretch. i have to really want/need to talk to you, otherwise it’s gonna be on my terms. my phone and i have a hate-hate relationship.

9. How often do you go to the grocery store? Are you good at it? Do you have any kind of strategy or list prepared beforehand?

i go when i run out of something i wanna eat; my store is right on the corner. i basically just do the curve around the breads/fruits/veggies if i need it, then head to the aisles which i skim from the back where the frozen/refrigerated stuff is, poking in to the aisles i need to grab the shit i’ve run out of. i eat pretty much the same way most of the time so my list is in my head (which is not always a good place, but i try hard. if i forget something i go back for it next time).

10. Do movies frequently make you cry? Do you find you’re more likely to cry in the theater or at home? When people are around or by yourself?

oh hell yes. if they’re good or i’m in a mood. i don’t think it matters much where i am if it’s public or private, the cry will come if the moment is right, and i could give no shits XD

11. Have you ever seen the sun rise? Did you kind of like the weird, slightly chilly liminal space of it, or did you just wish you were still in bed?

yes i have, in so many different contexts. mostly i watch it rise because i stay up That Late most of the time (except this time of year, i haven’t seen it in a good while), wishing my ass was finally in bed going “fuck. there’s the sun again. way to go me.” but i’ve also experienced that first bit. out in the desert after a 16k hike, sweat pouring off my skin and fire burning on the surface, hissing it away. standing on top of an ancient mountain facing the dead sea, limbs aching from climbing it with the sun racing at our backs, trying to get to the top before we missed it rise. ya. sunsets are pretty, too.

so how am i supposed to think of 11 questions?? i hope none of these are from some post i saw one time, i’m gonna try to be original without rambling too much:

1- if you could go back to one major decision you made that impacted the path of your life and change it, would you? what was it? how do you think your life would be different? or don’t answer those second two questions, if you don’t want to.

2- in what direction does your belief lean (like, you don’t have to agree with my description of it, but what fits your image best):

a single/multiple divine power that controls every facet of our existence (or like, any traditional religious worldview), with or without free will?

a harmonious interconnected universal complex that directs matter and energy but is affected by our existence in said universe?

everything is just a series of random events passing through time and everything that happens, everything we do, makes the next thing happen, but it could have happened any other way as well.

do these things make sense? idk try and figure it out.

3- on that topic, what do you think happens when we die? do we go to heaven/hell or some other religious construct? do we have a soul that sticks around? reincarnation? do we just... end, and decompose, and that’s it? what do you really think? are you afraid to find out you were wrong?

4- tell me about a moment in a movie or a show that made you go all tingly inside, like, that really special tingle, and every time you see it you get those feelings again.

5- what’s your go-to method for letting out stress?

6- what are 3 of your favorite words (english or otherwise)? why do you love them? the way they sound? the way they look? what they mean? (i usually would answer this based on sound, kinda like fave color, just a feeling).

7- this isn’t so original but i wanna know- if you could live in any other period of time, in any part of the world, what would it be and why? or would you even? would you if you could choose your station/place in society?

8- is there anything you’ve ever done or ever happened to you that you absolutely never ever could ever tell anyone about? not even your soulmate or someone who would never judge you? if so, does it bother you, or do you have it tucked away in your mind and never think about it?

9- which teen wolf cast member would you get along with best? not who would you like to be in a relationship with, but who do you think you’d have the best relationship with (romantic/platonic/otherwise)? if you don’t think you know any of them well enough... which one would you bone? boooooooooone all night long?

10- do you have a talent/skill that you feel is really underrated or underused by you or others? is there something you’re really proud of but have nobody to brag to about it because nobody you know really cares at all? brag to me.

11- do you think it’s truly possible to be happy if you never have a significant other(s) for the rest of your life? could you ever be?

THAT’S ALL FOLKS. wow i can’t believe i wrote all of that shit and you read it. way to go us. thanks again, clara!