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janicho88 · 1 year

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When It All Falls Apart - Chapter 9

Pairing- ex!Jensen x Padalecki Reader

Word count- 5,300

Warnings- Some language. Dealing with a breakup. Sad reader. Angst, If I missed something let me know!

A/N- Back at a convention we go. Someone lets the cat out of the bag here with the breakup. A little off canon, SPN ended after 10 years. We still got all the characters in during that time though. Thank you to @writercole and @leigh70 for your help with this. You two are amazing!!

Summary-Y/N Padalecki loved acting on Supernatural. Working alongside your older brother and your boyfriend, but after ten seasons the guys have chosen to hang up the guns. Now the three of you are moving on to other projects, but that’s all that needs to change right? While you have moved to Austin to be closer to your family and boyfriend, Jensen is working elsewhere. Distance is only the start of your troubles.

Series Masterlist

Turns out you really didn’t have a lot of time to think things over once you returned home. Jared was at the studio, and Gen had her hands full with a wild child and a smelly dog. You leave her with Tom and take Sadie outside for a bath. When you come back inside Tom wants you to play with him.

Jared comes home with your script for the first episode, they had to rework a few things for it. Before bed you spend some time reading it over and making notes for yourself.

When you wake up and go down to a late breakfast on Thursday, Gen starts asking about your flight.

“What flight?”

“Aren’t you flying out today, so you can be there all day tomorrow?”

“What are you…OH CRAP THE CONVENTION!”

Jared comes back from his run just as you finish yelling. “What happened?” he asks, looking between you and his wife before you are dashing from the room.

“I think she forgot it was convention weekend, and that she is supposed to leave today,” Gen tells her husband.

“Got it.”

After a quick shower you are running around your room picking out clothes. Someone knocks and you holler at them to come in. Gen walks in looking at the clothes thrown on the bed and the open bathroom bag on the dresser.

“Do you have anything around for this weekend yet?”

“Um, no. Do you remember ever seeing con pictures of me in this top?” you ask her, holding up a black dress shirt.

“Yes, but only because there is a picture of us together, I have.”

“Crap.” Throwing that in the no pile you move back to the closet.

“What time is your flight?”

“4:15, should probably leave here around 1:30. Which is oh, about two hours away now,” you reply with a grimace.

“What can I do to help?” she asks.

“My bathroom travel things are in the bathroom cabinet. I hope. I don’t know why I unpacked that stuff. Could you throw it in the travel bag please? There should be hair crap, body wash, face cream, lotion. Whatever makeup is on the counter. Oh and toothbrush and paste. Will definitely need those, no one wants to get close to the girl with morning breath.”

Finally figuring out 2 outfits for the days you are there, and one for karaoke, you run out to the pool building to grab your swimsuit. You never know if you will have time for a swim, but you would rather have it with you and not use it than leave it at home and have free time. Throwing in some workout clothes and pajamas you are finally good to go. You pack your carryon bag with your wallet, computer, headphones, a book and some snacks.

Thirty minutes later your bags are sitting by the bedroom door. “Okay, I think I’m good to go.”

“Only a small tornado left in your wake.”

Raising an eyebrow you look at Gen, not sure what she means. She points her finger around your room and you look with a groan. You currently have more clothes on the bed and floor than are likely in the closet.

“I’ll help you pick ‘em up.”

Half an hour later the room is back together and you won’t have to worry about it when you get home Saturday night.

“Gen, I ever told you you are a lifesaver?” You ask your sister-in-law as you walk out of your room.

“Eh, it’s been awhile,” she jokes with you. “But I’m happy to help.”

Taking your things downstairs, you find Tom and Jared on the living room floor building with legos.

“Aunt Y/N, wanna build with us?”

“I can for a few minutes.”

“Are you leaving again?”

“Yeah, I’m off to Orlando, Florida this time.”

“Where’s that?”

“East of here,” he just looks at you, “not that that means anything to you.”

He turns to his dad, “are you leaving too?”

“Saturday morning bud. That’s in two days, and I’ll be gone for two days.”

“You’re flying out in the morning?” you question.

“Yeah, figured I’d come a little earlier. They moved some of our stuff around to get more in on Saturday since you won’t be there Sunday.”

“Oh, thanks for doing that. Sorry you had to.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.”

After spending a few minutes building a Lego town, you all break for lunch before Jared drives you to the airport. He tells you to have a safe trip and gives you a hug before getting back in the car and taking off.

Once you clear check-in and security, you walk around the familiar space, before sitting down and pulling out your book. It’s finally time to board and you are ready for takeoff. You’re a little nervous about how this weekend is going to go, and the sooner it’s over with the better.

After collecting your luggage at the Orlando airport, you look around for Mike and finally see him hurrying through the doors. You wave at him to get his attention, he slows a little but is still moving quickly.

“Sorry, traffic was a lot worse than I thought it would be.”

“It’s no problem, I just got my bag. How are you doing?”

“I’m good, thanks. How about you?”

“I’m fine.”

The trip to the hotel took longer than usual also. Mike was right about the current traffic. While the convention and most of the guests were staying at the Doubletree Hotel, they had the cast at Embassy suites. It was a few minutes away, but not too bad.

Mike had your hotel key with him, and asked if there was anywhere you needed him to stop before dropping you off. You told him no, and he went right to the hotel.

You found your way up to the room without any problem. It’s close to 9, and your stomach is grumbling. You head down to the cafe in the hotel before it closes to grab something for dinner. The dining area is in the middle of the main floor.

Looking up you can see the walkways on every floor around it. Instead of sitting at the bar, you grab a table off to the side. While you are picking at your sandwich, two hands clamp down on your shoulders and whisper “gotcha.”

You can’t help but scream out.

“Oh shit, way to go Bri,” Kim says as she sits down across from you.

You hold up your hand and repeat, “sorry, sorry,” to those still dining around you. At least this late there aren’t too many people around.

Briana sits down next to you and picks a fry out of your half eaten basket, “sorry about that.”

“It’s fine, I didn’t even see you two walk in.” You look at the pajamas they’re wearing, “how was the pj party?”

“It was good. Lots of fun, like usual,” Kim tells you.

“Yeah, I get alcohol in there now, it’s fuckin great,” Bri agrees.

“So what are you doing here so early?” Kim asks.

“I had to change my schedule around because I can’t stay on Sunday.”

“Oh something exciting going on? Has to be to pull you away from Jay,” Briana questions.

“Not really exciting, I just have to leave Saturday.”

The girls look at each other, then back at you. “You aren’t telling us something. We’ll let it go for now, but we will get it out of you,” Kim says in her best Carrie Martin voice.

“Okay, mom.”

Thankfully, they change the subject and talk about what has been going on with themselves the last few weeks. You are pretty vague when it comes to yourself. Before long, you are all calling it a night and heading up to your respective rooms.

The beeping of your alarm wakes you Friday morning, with a groan you get up to start your day. It’s early enough, you can make your way to the second floor where the outdoor pool is located. Hopefully a few laps will help you wake up. Back in the room you go through your morning routine of making yourself presentable for all the photo ops you will have. Your cell notifies you of an incoming text, letting you know Mike is on his way.

He drops you off at the convention hotel, at one of the back entrances. Chelsea is waiting for you at the door.

“Hey!” you greet her with a hug before moving inside. “Nice to see you again.” You never know who your handler will be until you arrive at the conventions. You work with Chelsea a lot, but it’s not uncommon to have one of the other girls. As long as it’s not Victoria, you’re good.

She hands you a coffee and starts going over your schedule on the way to the green room. First up on the schedule is a 10 am Meet and Greet (M&G). She leads you down when it gets closer and takes her seat in the corner as you greet the fans and answer the questions.

As that half an hour winds down, Adam Fergus comes in the side door. “Someone’s got an early start to her day. I don’t usually see you around this early.”

“Yeah, my schedule is a little off this weekend. I’m guessing if you’re here then our time is up.” With a frown you turn to the group of fans. “I had a lot of fun with you all, thank you.”

You wave to them as everyone gets up and they are being led to the exit. Walking over to Adam you give him a hug in greeting, you don’t have time to catch up because his M&G group is being brought in.

Back in the green room they have some pictures for you to sign. You hear DJ Qualls take the stage for the first panel. Julian Richings, has the second. He doesn’t make it to many conventions, so it is always nice to see him. You mentally make a note that you want to get a picture with him before he leaves.

You have various photo ops, and a panel with Kim and Briana later in the afternoon. After the day programing wraps up, a good two hours of autographs. It’s a little after 6, by the time you are finished. Bri and Kim are already done, Adam and David are also finishing up, everyone else is gone. A group text had gone out earlier about ordering dinner to be delivered to the hotel tonight. As the three of you get in the car to go back to the hotel, Bri lets you all know it’s on the way now and there are some tables by the pool where you can all eat.

Arriving back at the hotel, the three of you all head to your rooms to change before meeting them for dinner. You throw your suit on under your clothes, and head to the outdoor pool area.

Rich is still at the convention center for Dick chat, but you, Kim, Bri, David, Adam, DJ, Julian and Sam Smith are all back at the hotel. Conversation flows a little more freely when there isn’t anyone else around. They do have some questions about Jensen and his new suit you have to field.

“Did you get to see him in that suit when you were in Toronto?” Kim asks.

“What she really wants to know is, did you get to do him in that suit?” Bri interjects, and the guys all groan.

“No, I never made it to set, they keep things pretty tight up there,” you tell them.

“Yeah they do. Suit couldn’t have been much tighter.”

“Not what I meant Bri.”

“Has he told you any behind the scenes secrets?” Sam asks.

“Nope, I know probably as much as you guys do.”

You do your best to turn the conversation to other topics and away from you or Jensen, when it seems to quit working you go hop in the pool. Before too long you need to get ready to go back for Karaoke.

Adam, David, DJ, Julian, Sam and you, all are going back. Bri and Kim are bowing out of this one. When you arrive back, the fans are still watching the screening of ‘Yellow Fever.’ There are a variety of drinks set up in the green for you all.

Adam looks over the table, “what flavor of ‘apple juice’ shall we start with?”

“Something we aren’t going to regret tomorrow morning, would be great,” you tell him.

“Chicago was your own fault Lil Pad, you all were shooting them back a bit quick,” he fires back.

“I blame Bri,” you say with a shrug.

It isn’t long before the film is over and the stage is set for karaoke. With your red solo cups the six of you make your way on stage, while Adam draws the first name. Those that come on stage give it their all, and the crowd is singing along too. Adam is all over the stage and starts running up and down the aisles as well, which keeps not only his handler, but others busy watching him as well.

An hour and a half later, the event is winding down and you’re definitely ready to get back to the hotel and relax before bed. Well, after you pack. You aren’t used to leaving on Saturday afternoons.

The next morning there are two cars to take nine of you over to the convention hotel a little after nine. Adam, David and Jason don’t have to be there until ten. There is breakfast waiting in the green room along with the group's Starbucks order. Rob is talking with the band before looking for you.

“Y/N, did you text me the song you wanted to sing tonight? I can’t seem to find it.”

“I won’t be at the concert tonight, sorry guys. I head out this afternoon.”

“What? That is unacceptable,” he jokes with you. “Is your other half going to cover for you?”

“I have no idea what they are doing tonight.”

Rob, Rich and Louden Swain soon take the stage to start the day and then they call you, Bri, Kim and Sam to the stage. Things are going well, you all are talking, joking, and occasionally answering questions. At least until a little over halfway through when you get a question that catches you completely off guard.

A girl comes up to the mike and looks right at you. “My question is for Y/N.”

“I know her, she’s right here,” Kim jokes, pointing to you.

“What do you have for me sweetie?”

“How could you break up with Jensen?”

The whole room goes quiet, you stare at the girl, and everyone else is looking at you. “What?” you finally stutter.

“He announced it this morning during an interview.”

Everyone is still looking at you, Sam is one of the first to recover. “Um, maybe this isn’t the…’

“Thanks, Sam, it’s alright. I don’t know what Jensen said about this. But we both have different projects we’re working on. And um, I guess you hope things are going to work out one way, but sometimes life has other plans. I would appreciate though, if um, there weren’t any more questions on this right now. It’s supposed to be a fun weekend, let’s not bring it down okay?”

You try and focus on the last twenty minutes of the panel, but your brain keeps going back to that girl's question, and how could Jensen do that today? Why did he feel the need to announce it during an interview even?

When Rob and Rich come back on stage with the band you barely wait for them to start singing you off before you are gone down the steps. You see your brother right behind the curtain, he pulls you into a hug and walks with you back to the green room area.

“Are you alright?” he quietly asks.

“Just great. Have you seen the interview?”

“Not yet.”

You ignore Victoria sitting in the corner with a smug smile and go to the opposite side of the room with Jared. Pulling out your phone you search for the interview. Bri, Kim and Sam had been following you two, but they realize what you are doing and move to give you some room. Finding the video you push play.

Jensen is with Karl, Jack, Chase, Anthony, and sitting right next to him is Claudia. Watching the interview from this morning's talk show appearance, you aren't really paying attention to what’s being said, just trying to find the spot where Jensen throws you under the bus.

The interviewer makes a comment about how some of them have said they don’t want their parents to watch, but what about their significant others?

Claudia is the first to do anything, she laughs before speaking. “Well, Anthony is the only one of us currently in a relationship, so he’ll have to take that one.”

You notice Jensen makes a slight movement to look at Claudia out of the corner of his eye, and some of his castmates are looking at him as Anthony answers. When he’s finished the interviewer turns it back to Jensen.

“Aren’t you dating your former co-star, Y/N Padalecki?”

Claudia speaks up before Jensen can say a word, “ not any more she came up here just to break up with him because he was working.” She leans closer to your ex, and you can’t help but notice the way she is rubbing her hand up and down the top of his leg. Yeah, you aren’t so sure something isn’t going on there.

“We’re so sorry to hear that,” Don, Dan, whoever says to Jay.

“Long distance doesn’t work out for everyone, and I guess we just wanted different things,” Jensen finally speaks up.

The interviewer moves the topic back to the show and continues on.

“I cannot believe him.”

“In his defense,” your brother starts, “he didn’t really announce the breakup.”

“He had to have been talking about it with her, and he didn’t make a move to stop her, did he? Didn’t take him long to move on.”

You turn around and notice your friends on the other side of the room trying not to look at you. With a sigh, you drop your head back and know you have some explaining to do. Before you can get very far, a nervous Chelsea comes and tells you you are needed for your VIP M&G and then photo ops.

After your solo ops, you have photos with the ladies. Even though they want to ask, there is no time for questions now. Jared comes down for his ops with you, when those are finished you are done with photos for this convention. You give Chris a hug and tell him thanks before you follow your brother and handlers out of the room. The last of your autographs are next, it takes well over an hour for you to finish up. There are some comments about you and Jensen, mostly I’m sorry to hear you broke up. But a few rude ones, that couldn’t understand why you would do that.

Walking into the green room you notice almost everyone is in there, since there is a little bit of a break. Grabbing a water you sit on the edge of a table, with Jared coming up next to you.

“I know you all want to know what’s going on, so here it is. Yes, Jay and I aren’t together anymore. No, I didn’t go up to Toronto just to break up with him. It just happened while I was up there. I’m just not really ready to talk more about it right now.”

They all nod, Sam comes over and gives you a hug, Bri and Kim are right behind her.

“This the reason for the schedule change?” Bri quietly asks. You just nod.

Looking at the time, you make sure everything you were supposed to have autographed is done. The few things you have gotten out of your bag are packed back up. Jared is about to head to one of his M&G’s, you give him a hug before he goes.

“You alright?” he asks.

“Yeah.”

“Liar. Have a safe flight. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

“Thanks. Hope all goes well here. Have a safe flight tomorrow. See ya soon.”

You tell the rest of the group goodbye before you head out. You still have a little time before your 3:30 flight, but you want to get out of there before Jensen arrives. Once you are all checked in at the airport, you find a quiet spot to sit, and go through your phone. You know you shouldn’t, but you bet the comments are flying about you right now. You aren’t wrong.

Earlier that morning up in Toronto, Jensen is boarding the plane for Florida. He finds his seat, throws his bag up top and sits down with a huff. He hadn’t had the morning he was expecting to.

His phone went off early this morning, someone from the show calling to tell him he was needed for an interview at the studio. Jesse was sick and unable to make it, they were asking him to fill in. He hurries to get cleaned up and make sure he has everything he needs to fly down for the convention.

Everyone else is already at the studio, they do a quick hair and makeup fix on him. Karl comes over to see how he’s doing.

“Ready for ya trip?”

“I think so.”

“Ya talked to her since she left?”

“No. But I don’t know what more she wanted from me. I haven’t figured out if I want to see her or not. Haven’t talked to Jared either. That’ll be interesting.”

“Maybe, ya just needed some time apart, and you two can work it out this weekend.”

“If it was space she needed, she wouldn't have broken up with me when she came up here. We had plenty of space living in two different countries.”

What neither man notices is Claudia hanging around behind them.

When it’s almost time, they have the cast take a seat and the interviewer comes out and sits across from them. Getting the cue from the studio they start rolling. Everything was going fine until the question about spouses came up and Claudia started talking. Jensen is too busy trying to figure out how she knows to even speak. He looks at her out of the corner of his eye before slightly looking at Karl, who is also looking at him.

Once his mind catches up he tries to shut the topic down before anymore can be said. When the camera moves away from him, he moves Claudia’s hand off his leg. By the time the interview is over, he can’t stay and question her about it, he has to get to the airport. He sends Karl a text on the way.

Any idea how she knew that?

Karl and Eric are the only two up here he had talked to about this. He gets a reply a short time later,

Not a bloody clue.

Once he gets to the airport, he doesn’t have a lot of time before the plane is supposed to take off. He is hoping since a number of fans will already be busy at the start of the convention day, word of the interview will take awhile to get around. There is nothing on his phone when he powers it down before takeoff. Sitting back he spends the flight looking over the final script of the season.

Arriving at the hotel, Mike gives him his room key and Jensen tells him he'll be back down in ten minutes. That gives him time to find his room, leave his bag, and change out of the airport clothes.

Clif is waiting at the back entrance of the convention center when he is dropped off there. He follows him up to the green room, where Victoria is waiting.

“Jensen, great to see you again. Hope you’re doing well.”

“Fine, thanks. You?”

“Good. I’m happy to be here. The suit reveal you posted on Instagram was amazing. I can’t wait until the show premieres.”

“Thanks. So, what’s first on my schedule?” he asks when she doesn’t tell him.

“Oh, solo pictures in a few minutes, then with Misha. You have a short break before the VIP M&G, then the regular one.”

“Ok. Do you know where Y/N is?”

“She’s around somewhere.”

He gets through his photo ops, and looks for you on his way to the M&G’s. He doesn’t see you around anywhere. It’s about halfway through the main M&G when someone mentions they are sorry to hear about what Y/N did.

He’s slightly confused, “what did she do?”

“How she came up to Toronto to, well you know…”

It suddenly clicks, the interview. Guess word got around. “Y/N’s an amazing woman, but unfortunately things didn’t work out.”

“How does this affect you and Jared?”

“If one of us comes on stage tomorrow with a black eye, you’ll know,” he tries to joke.

Finally making it through that half an hour he is escorted back to the green room. Sam is the only one in the room and she is getting ready to go back to photos. He grabs a water and sits at one of the tables, pulling out his phone and scrolling through it. Opening twitter he receives a notification he’s trending, and so are you. “If we’re both trending, I bet I know what that’s for,” he mumbles.

“Who’s fault is that?” a voice behind him asks.

Taking a deep breath, he readies himself to turn around and face his best friend. Who also happens to be your older brother.

“Hey Jare.”

“Ackles. You didn’t answer my question.”

He holds up his hands, “Look man, I never intended for that to come out this morning. I don’t even know how she knew.”

“You didn’t tell her? The two of you seemed pretty close.”

“The only two I’ve talked to are Karl and Eric. I haven’t talked to you, because she’s your sister, so I didn’t know where that put us.”

“That makes two of us. What happened between you two, Jay?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know what more she wanted from me. I thought we were fine. Then she comes up to Toronto and tells me she can’t do it anymore. Where did that even come from?”

“She’s been hurting for awhile, but the one person who was supposed to notice it, didn’t have a fucking clue. In case you were wondering, that was you.”

“Then why didn’t she talk to me about it earlier?”

“Did you two even talk anymore?”

“Of course we did.”

Jared raises his eyebrows and slowly nods. “Really? All I know is, I’ve heard her cry, both before and after she went to see you. Gen and I were hoping going up to visit would have made things better, but it didn’t. I’ve seen the hate she is getting today, she was blindsided in her morning panel because of your interview.”

“Where is she?”

“She’s gone.”

“Back at the hotel?

Jared looks at his watch, “no, she should be landing in Austin in about 30-40 minutes.”

“She left the convention?”

“Yeah.”

In that moment, knowing you were already gone, he had his answer. He had been hoping to see you. “Was it because of the interview?”

“No, she had already planned it.

“She didn’t want to see me.”

Jared shrugs, but they both know the answer.

“What about you?” Jensen asks him.

“Your mug is pretty ugly to look at.” Jensen rolls his eyes before Jared continues. “She keeps telling me not to let what happens with the two of you interfere with our friendship. But it’s hard not to be upset with the guy that hurt my sister. You have no idea how much I would love to take a swing at you right now.”

He nods in understanding, “I guess I could possibly deserve that. But she isn’t the only one that was hurt here. She blindsided me with that breakup,” Jensen tells him before he walks over to where Victoria is signaling him from.

The two men go out for their autograph sessions a little quieter than usual. Clif asks them after what their plans are for the night, but both just opt to go back to the hotel and their respective rooms. The next morning is a quiet ride with Clif back to the convention hotel.

The guys are in the green room waiting for the start of the Gold Panel.

“I, uh, talked with Gen last night. Y/N, got home safe last night. She was still a bit upset at being caught off guard like that. I told Gen what you said about the interview. Not sure Y/N will believe us though.”

“Thanks, man. Um, how’s Tom?”

“Good. Keeps us on our toes, for sure. I can’t imagine how crazy it’ll be with two. He asked yesterday before I left when he could talk to you again.”

“I miss my buddy. Wait. Did you say two?”

“Yeah.”

“Gen’s pregnant? Congrats buddy.” Jensen moves to give his friend a hug.

“Thanks. I thought we talked about this a month ago in Chicago? Hasn’t Y/N said anything to you?”

Jensen is quiet for a few minutes, he can’t believe he missed this news. Had the two of you talked about it? Did Jared already tell him?

They continue talking before going on stage. The conversation doesn’t get deep, but they are trying to find their rhythm and work past this sinkhole in their friendship. They have to make it work on stage very shortly. It will take some time before things are like they were before, but neither one wants to lose a 10 year friendship.

The gold panel questions aren’t vetted first, so anything goes. Which of course means there is going to be a question about the breakup eventually.

“Jensen we are so sorry to hear about what happened between you and Y/N, it’s just awful. How are you holding up?” Someone questions.

He knows he needs to try and nip this before it keeps going. “Thanks. I will say this, and then I would appreciate it if there weren’t any more questions on this subject. I had no intention of that coming out in the interview yesterday. What’s going on is between Y/N and I. Long distance can really suck. You guys wouldn’t want to talk about your relationship troubles in front of hundreds of people. I would hope you understand that we don’t either right now.”

When their afternoon panel comes around he has to make the same announcement at one point. Jensen swears during photos and autographs that more fans than usual seem to be trying to flirt with him.

When they are finished for the day, Clif takes them both to the airport. Their flights aren't too far apart in departure time. Jensen tells Jared he’ll be back home in two weeks, and they talk about meeting up once he’s back in Texas. After checking in, they head to their respective terminals.

Jensen is waiting for his flight, feeling a little disappointed. It would have hurt, but he would have liked to see you this weekend. He’s spent a good part of the last 24 hours thinking about what Jared told him. How you had been hurting for a while. How had he not realized you weren’t happy any longer?

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 10

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#jensen ackles rpf #supernatural #jensen x female!reader #when it all falls apart #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles

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the-hollyday · 1 month

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The Bitch is Back

Admittedly this is a wild title for someone who had absolutely zero presence or following on this website in the past, despite spending unending hours reblogging pictures of old cameras and cigarettes when I was a teenager and early university student. But I'm back.

Everything feels quite different, I'm finding myself having to search directory items for functions that I could do with my eyes closed when I was 16; "where are my drafts", "are likes default public or private". Other questions you can't google as easily. Is it uncool to use a free blog theme? How are you viewed in the microcosm culture of the website for using a picture of your real face instead of a character or avatar?

The main drive to get back in to tumblr was to escape from twitter, which I was starting to feel like was making me stupider. There are two accounts I'll miss: my friend Autumn who posts photos of her beautiful sewing and quilting projects (she tufted a chair the other day??? She's so cool.) and that menswear guy who's always dunking on people wearing bad suits.

The other main reason was that I want to write. And I want to write about me. I'm trying to develop some more language and attention-span improving habits; my partner Jethro sat down on the couch with me the other day and told me that he was starting to feel worried about the amount of time I'm spending just aimlessly scrolling before getting up to start my day in the mornings. I agree with him, and it's not even like the habit makes me feel good. It's just void stuffing. We'll start with a migration to a new website where I can write longform. But, you know, wherever you go, there you are.

That's right, Poorly Translated Mod Caroline.

It's felt like a much busier summer than it actually has been, but pockets of very high activity have left me feeling exhausted frequently. My brother in law Fionn came to stay with us from Toronto for a couple days so we took him out to experience some true Vancouver culture: shooting pool and drinking two pitchers of beer at the Ivanhoe.

We also stuffed him full of good pasta and bread at my favourite Italian place before putting him on the plane back home.

I love dive bar graffiti.

I also completed annual summer maintenance at my theatre. We usually put on movies while we clean lights and this year the request was for 1954 Godzilla. This was a really interesting watch (that I'm not prepared to fully tackle in this post) but suffice to say I did not expect to cry while watching a movie I believed to be primarily about a giant lizard. Or how hard it would be to try and read subtitles while you're trying to clean lights.

The last big summer 2024 adventure is quickly on the horizon, Jethro and I fly to Japan a week from today for my first trip off continent. I'm very excited, and also a little scared. I'm a worrier by nature so it's been a productive exercise in preventing worry by action rather than succumbing to procrastination, but also the letting go of things that just aren't that important. And I'm sure I'll find new things to worry about once I'm there.

#blog post #personal #summer #work #travel #social #social media #writing #summer 2024 #2024

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annelise-draws · 1 year

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OC-Tober Day 5: Relationships

A day late and I wanted to do my other collab children with Vafalls, but this was already crowding too many characters into one pic and there are so many AUs there, as tends to happen with characters you've had for over a decade. So here are my collab children with @carolmaclaine. Transcript and details under cut!

Isidore:

to Cassis: You make me feel alive again. (He's super gushy about Cassis. He will wax poetic for days. He hates everything about himself but Cassis loving him is a constant surprise and a reason to keep on...living? He doesn't know if he should call it that)

to Viorica: She's nice, but her taste in men... yuck. (He likes Viorica fine enough, but the fact that she's attracted to Johann, one of his least favorite people, makes him respect her a little less)

to Eloise: Younger sister, my ride-or-die. (Due to the lack of parental affection in their childhood, they're very close. Around the time he was banned from the lavish balls his father would throw, she'd take breaks and sneak him petit fours and wine so she could commiserate with him. Also distract her father and guards while he would go shag some knights.)

to Marcel: Younger brother. We aren't that close. (Sadly... they're not. There's nearly a 20 year age gap between them, but he harbors no ill feelings towards the guy.)

to Johann: I'm gonna get your brother pregnant. (He likes to mess with Johann. Given that Johann was sort of his boss when he was resurrected and tried to arrest Cassis and have him stolen back and constantly referred to Isidore as a monster/freak/thing, Isidore does not have much warm feelings towards him.)

Cassis:

to Isidore: Aww! I love you too! (He's not entirely sure how to deal with Isidore's self-depreciation, but he really loves the guy and he feels lucky to have him in his life. He wants to help him out as best as he can.)

to Viorica: Former student! So proud of her! (Viorica wasn't particularly interested in the subjects he was teaching, but took one of his classes on a whim. The two developed a friendship, and she was there to patch up his hand when he blew it off.)

to Tisane: Little guy! (He's a little guy)

to Eloise: Sister-in-law? She's so nice. :) (Nothing particularly interesting here! They're both sweeties haha)

to Marcel: Nerdy little nephew, aww... (Even though Marcel is technically his brother-in-law, the large age difference makes him seem more like a nephew. Marcel is interested in academia, and he likes talking to Cassis about magical studies.)

to Johann: Older Brother! So cool! (Despite everything his brother has done, he still loves him. They were close in their childhoods, and he has always respected and looked up to him.

Viorica:

to Isidore: I'm glad Cassis found somebody. (Cassis had... quite a reputation of getting dumped a lot when he was a professor. She thinks Isidore's a good fit for him, even if he can be a bit of pain in the ass.)

to Cassis: Former Professor, I owe him a lot. (Cassis being openly queer helped her to realize she was trans, which is what helped them become friends.)

to Tisane: My son! (Tisane cannot be released back in to the wild due to the fact that he is practically toothless. Viorica loves him and he loves her u v u)

to Eloise: Great friend! (On account of being the Only Women Here, she likes to hang out with Eloise to get away from the dudes. Sometimes she feels a little embarrassed with how much Elle spoils her, but that's how she shows her love...)

to Johann: Be kinder to yourself. (A big reason for their relationship is that Johann has neglected his well-being after an injury that ruined his knight career, which she helped him take care of and recover. He still beats himself up for not being as strong as he used to be, but this is the only Johann he's ever met, and she loves him regardless!)

Eloise:

to Isidore: I know your murder was an inside job and I will avenge you. (She was... really shaken up by his murder. Finding out that he wasn't as dead as previously discovered was great, but his his memory being a little shoddy her revenge had to wait. Still, he's incredibly important to her, and she's glad he's back in her life.)

to Cassis: My brother is lucky to have you! (She loves this guy! And she's glad that Isidore finally has the opportunity to be openly in love with a man.)

to Viorica: Bestie! (As said earlier, they like to hang out! She spoils Viorica, who is used to roughing it up in the wilderness, with nice clothes and nights on the town and spa days. Vi gets a little overwhelmed with this, but she never had much of an opportunity to wear fancy dresses before...)

to Tisane: Cute!!! (Viorica will bring him over for girls nights and after a few glasses of wine they usually end up dressing him in cute outfits. He does not like this, but he allows them...)

to Marcel: Protective. (After Isidore's murder, she's been pretty protective over him. Understandably so!)

to Johann: He's nicer than he looks. (Johann was a frequent hire for her father's parties. She spoke to him while his facial scars were pretty new, and they struck a friendship. She thinks it's a funny coincidence that their brothers are dating.)

Johann:

to Isidore: YOU WILL NOT [impregnate my brother]. (VIORICA TOLD HIM THAT THIS WAS NOT MEDICALLY POSSIBLE!!! STOP SAYING THAT!!! Their relationship is strained thanks to all of their former church baggage, and also the fact that Johann is a Good Fantasy Catholic Boy and Isidore is so relentlessly horny for his brother that it makes him really uncomfortable.)

to Cassis: You forgive me too easily. (He really does. Johann doesn't like how quickly Cassis has forgiven him for being a shitty brother, to the point where he's happy that Isidore is at least a bit abrasive. Also, he doesn't think Cassis should emphasize how much older he is;;; there's only a six month difference between them!)

to Viorica: I don't deserve you. (He's never been in a serious relationship before, so Viorica's presence in his life has been life-changing. He loves her, and he feels so lucky to have someone as smart and patient as her helping him out.)

to Tisane: Quit biting holes into my socks. (He will not. Tisane is a menace.)

to Eloise: A good friend with a terrible brother (not Marcel). (As stated earlier, Eloise would talk with him during parties, something he was not used to but thankful for. He didn't know Isidore at the time, thanks to his usual banning from the party floor, but he was horrified to learn that such a kind lady has such a menace for a brother.

#oc-tober #bweirdoctober

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arcplaysgames · 2 years

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SO I went from having almost 600,000 yen to about 200,000 yen which means the Strength SLink is complete.

As was pretty predictable, it pretty much confirms that the twins are actually one person that has been split apart.

ALSO THIS SLINK IS INTERESTING because the twins talk explicitly about Strength and its meaning and they begin to theorize that they are the ones undergoing the Strength arc, not Reverie, and that it is his responsibility to guide them through it and observe them.

man it'd be neat if the twins reunited into Margaret or Elizabeth but I assume they will become a new attendant altogether.

I miss Margaret, she was funny and hot.

Also, i took the twins to a Maid Cafe.

Reverie's core character trait is being a huge bitch and I love him.

the maid scaring the twins is really funny tbh lmao

Everywhere Reverie goes, he has to play older brother to someone. Something about him exudes big brotherly vibes in a way that Reverie The Fourth could only dream of. Everyone even a day younger than him feels his gravitational pull.

It's called the Alice form factor, Futaba, and it's better for your wrists due to the natural way they want to tilt when you reach forward. You wanna see something wild, pull up an ortholinear keyboard form factor and call me in the morning.

In Sojiro's SLink, the asshole uncle returns to cause some trouble, because the Sakuras are not allowed to be happy I gUESS.

Fuckface McGee here makes a move towards Futaba and Reverie immediately steps in to shield her. Fuckface falls and then, just like the dude who framed Reverie in his backstory, cries assault.

Suddenly shit is way more serious because Reverie is on probation and even more infraction is going to get him into deep shit.

So Futaba's like "yeah we need to steal his heart," so we're gonna do that.

BACK TO THE MSQ FINALLY, IT'S TIME FOR SOME SHOES TO DROP AFTER HOVERING IN THE AIR FOR LIKE 21 DAYS.

HARU JUST RENTS DISNEYLAND TO CELEBRATE THE OKUMURA JOB WITH EVERYONE.

jfc haru you can't just rent a theme park, i'm aghast.

While they are sitting having dinner, the Okumura press conference begins and everyone tunes it to watch.

What's interesting to me is: Why did he die now? Probably-Akechi shot him, at this point, 21 days ago back in the Palace. Why did he die now? That's super weird. I don't understand it unless it's a Necessary Contrivance that the game needs to function, like how Nanako wound up on the Midnight Channel despite that shit not making any sense.

yeah i bet you do haru. jeepers creepers, uh, sorry about your shitty dad who was essentially selling you off into sexual slavery for the sake of political power I guess???????

On Law & Order Supernatural Victims Unit, Akechi shows up to FLIP AGAIN ON WHETHER THE THIEVES DID THE THING AGAIN.

Bro, WHAT is with you, is he just gaslighting Sae? I cannot figure out what the fuck his deal is, he keeps giving Sae ideas and then going "nah actually that's dumb" then a month later he's like "altho....... yanno......" then another month later he's like "lmao you actually are following that lead like a dumbass? wow."

If he's the killer then the only thing I can figure is that he's purposefully fucking with the investigation to keep himself and whoever is pulling his strings in the clear.

So in the Twins link, they kind of imply what I've been theorizing for a while, that the Wild Card's purpose is to reach and summon the World/Universe arcana. And one of them was like "is that the same thing as rehabilitation" and the other was like "um. dunno?"

So here with Notigor.... Is his goal to guide Reverie to the World arcana, or..... like.......

What happens if Reverie, uh, fails his "rehabilitation"? And what does that entail?

I still find the fact there are other cells in this Not Velvet Room extremely sus, so idk. I'm fixating on this shit.

HAHAHA THE THIEVES ARE BEING FRAMED IN AN EXTREMELY PREDICTABLE WAY

God, here's where the fucking wheels come off, huh.

Back in the framing device, Reverie nearly passes out randomly and Sae mentions they're on very limited time. What did they inject him with, I assumed it was a sodium pentothal situation but maybe not?

...... what the fuck

..........

hang on a sec.

/opens screenshot folder and goes all the way back to the beginning of the game

.........

That. Would explain..... so much. But where does the Palace end and the real world resume? Is the interrogation happening inside the Palace? Is her Treasure a briefcase? Is Reverie getting caught a ploy to reduce the target's sense of being threatened?

I'm so tempted to just start a new game file and replay the intro with this in mind but I think that's cheating, so I won't.

I hope the game eventually just replays that introduction sequence again but with all the characters un-blacked out. We'll see.

#p5 #persona liveblog

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why-raven · 5 months

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quiz: tragic horror character — yiuno.

That Which Cannot Be Known.

Oh, god. How did it come to this? To some extent, you’ve gone so far past your own idea of “human” that it must be kind of fun, right? Maybe, I’m not sure. As an artifact of cosmic horror, you’re wild, wacky and colorful. People are probably drawn to that, but you will never let them know you. The mystery intrigues for a while, but it’ll wear everyone down. It’ll wear you down, too. Who are you? Do you remember? Are you so far gone that you can’t go back? And maybe the most tragic thing of all—becoming so distorted in your identity, and for so long, that no matter how hard you want to return you can’t ever seem to figure it out. But you’ve learned a vast amount up in the stars, and people will work hard to get to know you. It doesn’t matter who you used to be. Sometimes, you should just start from scratch: give yourself a name, a birthday. Let someone celebrate these things with you.

link to quiz.

Oh, god. Where to begin?

The result is eerily spot-on, and I don’t want to run the risk of revealing too much of Yiuno’s backstory to spoil the fun about this character. However, the one thing I can say about him is: Yiuno’s life has been built on lies and deception for as long as he can remember.

Did that pique your interest?

According to canon, Vieras are only separated by gender when they reach puberty. Adult males will return to their settlement to collect those identified as boys, then they are taken out to the wild and are trained to become wardens. This means that once the young males leave their village, they can never return and be in contact with the females except during the mating season.

Yiuno has a twin sister, Yiuna; they grew up together and were extremely close—inseparable, even. When they both became adolescents, Yiuna didn’t want her only brother to be taken away from her, so she took the risk to hide Yiuno’s masculinity for as long as they could, using any means necessary. While it was certainly a feat that Yiuna managed to keep her brother’s gender a secret for almost three long summers, the elders eventually found out and they were trialed for breaking the tribal law… which ended with expulsion from their birthplace.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg to Yiuno’s darkly colorful past. As a Viera, his longevity also poses an identity issue: how can he explain his unusually long life and eternal youth to other Eorzean races, whose life expectancy is barely a scratch compared to his own? The only way is to be constantly on the move, creating new aliases, reappearing as new people with each identity change.

“Yiuno Reine” is definitely not his real name. Perhaps the current him isn’t even the real him.

Who is he, really?

It was a question he used to ask himself, when his own age became so disconnected with the passage of time. However, when Sora becomes a huge part of his current self, for the first time in his long, long life, time finally starts to move forward once more.

(Re-posting old quizzes to this main blog for archiving purposes.)

This one also forms an interesting comparison with another quiz I did here, where they both share similar premises, but the other was more generic and straightforward compared to this.

#tenebris; answered #oc; quiz game #yiuno reine #ffxiv

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pls-hold-me-im-justa-weeb · 2 years

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Requesting Rules

Just things I'm comfortable or uncomfortable writing:

Uncomfortable with (topics):

Incest / incest play (I include ASL brothers together)

Non-con / rape / coercing / manipulating reader into sex/ dub-con (CNC depends on the request. Consent is huge for me)

Scat / piss play

Pregnancy sexual situations (I'll do fluffy headcanons of x reader when pregnant, and breeding kinks)

ignoring safewords

dystopian au (nothing against it personally, just not my thing)

yandere

Manipulative character pairings (like purposely manipulative psychos in a relationship)

BIG age gaps (e.g. Garp x reader in 20's)

Father figures x characters

Comfortable with:

Smut (except for the stuff listed above) including multiple person scenarios, M/M!reader, F/F!reader, BDSM

Fluff

Miscommunication / jealousy

Tropes (you can pry the one bed trope and the "creepy guy won't leave _ alone so _ helps" trope from my cold, dead hands)

other au's (yesss gimme a challenge, let my imagination go wild)

Angst (either between characters or if reader/character is suffering mentally)

Angst and fluff

Fluff and smut (my FAVE)

Humor (I'll try, okay? I think I'm HILARIOUS but some other people don't)

Holiday centric pieces (I am pagan, but am familiar with Christian holidays and comfortable writing about it. I would love to write about introducing characters to pagan holidays :). Also like Valentines day, St. Patricks, etc.)

Dialogue prompts

Action/fight scenes

Uncomfortable with (Characters/pairings):

Crocodile

Doflamingo and his family (EXCEPT Corazon<3)

Ceasar

Gecko Moria

Blackbeard

Marine admirals/Garp (all but specified marines below)

Most of the supernova (EXCEPT. Kid, Luffy, Law)

Kaido

Yamato (just haven’t met him yet)

Vinsmoke Judge

Gol D Roger (haven’t met him much yet)

OC's

Comfortable with (Characters)

For anything (Including smut)

Strawhats:

Monster Trio (foursome, threesome, or single pairings x reader)

Nami

Robin

Usopp

Marines:

Koby

Smoker

Others:

Kid

Law

Corazon

Killer

Mihawk

Ace

Marco

Sabo

Katakuri

Reiju Vinsmoke

Ichiji, niji, yonji vinsmoke (pure smut only)

Rayleigh

Fluff only (includes romantic fluff unless stared otherwise)

Straw hats:

Franky

Jinbe

Chopper (NO ROMANCE SCENARIOS)

Brook

Marines:

Garp (same ish age romance scenarios only)

Others:

Any of the mink tribe (including Bepo)

Boa Hancock

Any characters that are not in this list you can ask about, even when my requests are closed :)

Note: I always try to write my pieces to where the reader is described as vaguely as possible to reach the widest audience. Chubby? Amazing, and easy to imagine (stronk anime men). Black? Yes please, and no description of skin color (why I always use ‘heat’ or 'flush’ instead of 'turning red’). Small titties on a fem reader? Love it, and the size isn’t described. The only thing that might not be applicable is that I have characters touching your hair, which doesn’t apply to my badass bald bitches or to anyone who covers their hair as part of their religion. HOWEVER if people want, I can change/remove those parts for any fics they request or add any traits.

#one piece fanfiction #one piece x reader #one piece fluff #one piece requests #one piece smut #one piece reader insert #one piece character pairings #one piece #request rules #rules #requesting rules

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meirimerens · 2 years

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How do you think game devs view fans that don’t have talent? Fans that can’t draw fan-art, but are only able to write messages on how much they love the characters.

Do you think game designers think of fans with no talent as less than and useless than those that draw fan art?

Which do you think is a better contribution from a fan: fan art or a written message?

i'm going to give it to you frankly like a brother does his own younger sibling, with all the love in my heart i have for you as a stranger, and maybe i'm not telling you anything new and you might even know this already: you sound insecure about what you see as your "non-participation" in fandoms. you sound very self-effaced and suffering from low self-esteem, and you compare yourself to people who do things you do not [for whichever reason].

i'll say it to you as someone who is [trying to] making a game:

no game dev expects fanart. no game dev expects fanfic. no game dev expects people to infinitely reproduce and give life to their game by making it "their own" in a way, and i would even go out of my way to say that those who do are entitled weirdos who don't create out of the desire/need to create but from the desire to have their egos inflated. game devs do not give one single shit about the "talent" of the people who appreciate their games. they give a shit that they have completed something and set it wild for people to enjoy, in whichever way they are able to. the second the game is posted, it is out of your hands.

people who make movies (& i mean in the... authorial sense, bc i doubt marvel as a behemothic collective gives a shit), who make games, who make music, do it out of a drive, a desire, a burning, gnawing hunger to put something out in the world. it is an almost primordial drive which does not bend to the laws of desiring online clout.

people enjoying your movie or your game either quietly or sharing their love for it in reviews, in text, in messages, is the default. it is the expected way things go. it is what all creators are familiar with, and the vast majority of the feedback they will receive. no game or movie creator is entitled to fanart, to fanfic, to discussions around their creation. it is nice when that happens. it is delightful. and fanart and fanfic are consecrations, in some way, or that love other people have for it, but it is not automatic, it is not the default. it is in fact the marginal way people interact with media. most people who love games don't draw/write for/about them. most people who love movies don't draw/write for/about them. THAT'S NORMAL.

you are not "lesser" in any way for not drawing or writing about your favorite movies and video games.

i refuse to reply to "which do you think is a better contribution from a fan: fan art or a written message?", as saying "a message" would denigrate myself and my work, and saying "fanart" denigrates the millions of fans of everything worldwide who do not do fanart, and they vastly outnumber those who do. I will not denigrate myself, and i will not participate in your denigration of yourself and the love you hold for things. you deserve better than this, better than how you see your own self.

do not mercilessly flagellate yourself in my asks and go tell your favorite game devs you like their art. whether or not they will tell you this back, they appreciate it. it keeps them going. it fuels the fires of creation. most people who write fanfic or do fanart will never get noticed by the people whose work they make fanart/write fanfic of. it is ridiculous to think that game devs would hold people who draw/write in higher esteem than anyone else. they have way more things to think about.

GO! TYPE! AND BASK IN THE GLEE THAT THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS FOR YOU TO ENJOY, AND ENJOY THEM FULLY AND WELL WHILE THERE IS STILL TIME AND ART BEING MADE!

#anonymous #ring ring (answers)

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open-hearth-rpg · 11 months

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Loresheets: Great RPG Mechanics #RPGMechanics: Week Five

In the early 2000s I didn’t really have a FLGS that I went to for rpgs. One was pretty much a miniatures-only place and the other I avoided because of bad past experiences. So instead I got a lot of things by mail order– I say mail order rather than online because in some places I literally had to send them a check. I still don’t remember how I heard about Weapons of the Gods. This was pre RPGGeek or G+. I suspect I followed a link from something Robin Laws or Ken Hite reviewed or mentioned.

At the time I was in the middle of playing Exalted, but also fascinated by the idea of doing a high fantasy wuxia game which could emulate Jade Man Comics I’d read in the 1990s: Force of Buddha’s Palm, Oriental Heroes, etc. After waiting a long time, the game actually shipped– in a preview form for Gen Con 2005. Eventually the full glossy book arrived and it was…

…a lot: colorful, wild, and imaginative. The text contained more ideas than I’d ever seen, presented in new and novel ways. This was the first time I’d encountered the work of Jenna Katerin Moran. I hadn’t seen the first or second edition of Nobilis at that time But if you know her work you can feel it throughout. In particular the approach to the setting material.

Because Weapons of the Gods is, in addition to being deep in non-Western cultural elements, a licensed game. There’s a massive backstory for a world which pretty definitively players will have no idea about. Let’s leave aside the issue of the complexity and sheer weirdness of the mechanical system for WotG combat (seriously I have read it several times and played it twice and couldn’t explain it to anyone). The book tackles the question of how to present the world in an interesting way.

Just about everything that’s talked about, the usual backstory sections of an rpg, is presented as a loresheet. Basically it is a tight block of information about the topic (the factions, special weapons, historical events, famous people, mystical happenings, philosophies, sexuality, etc).

And for just about every one of those things you can buy yourself into that story. You have a currency called Destiny for character creation and development. You can spend that to shape your place in the world. As (name-dropping) Ken Hite pointed out to me, the brilliant thing here is how it monetizes the setting.

For example, Destiny Binding: Brothers talks about the bond between male siblings. For 1+ destiny you can “increase the role of one of your elder brothers in the story. This makes his motivations more complex, gives more resources to offer you, and makes him more troublesome for you.” You can also do this for your younger brother or spend more to make yourself a middle child and both sides create complexities. There’s also an option for broken familial bonds.

This is pretty conventional but there are other things, like being associated with divine figures. Take for example the legendary concubine Kung Min. If you’re descended from her you have a chaotic influence on the world of the wulin and you can use the strength of your lovers as your own. There’s material for having reincarnated souls, for homosexuality, for Confucianism, and hundreds more. Each one of these also offers discounted costs on related destinies. The designers present a web of connections which binds everything together.

Everywhere there are brief drops of setting which radiate interesting ideas– and then the book tells you how to tie it to your character. It is chaotic, messy, hard to follow, and extremely ambitious. I adore it. It makes Weapons of the Gods an absolute pleasure to read and bounce around in. I’m not saying it's a great game, but it offers a new way to connect players to the world. I can almost imagine building a set of world-specific background moves for something like PbtA or FitD.

#ttrpg #rpg #rpg mechanics

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striderstable · 1 year

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Kallisti, Monk of the Old Order

[ID: screenshot from the video game neverwinter nights enhanced edition, original campaign chapter one, featuring a female human monk player character with a shaved head wearing the robes of the old order, which resembles the habit of a european medieval monk, standing in front of a tavern table into the side of which the image's watermark of striders table dot tumblr dot com cleverly appears to have been carved by some miscreant or another. next to her is the henchman halfling rogue tomi undergallows. the semi-transparent character record and inventory GUI's are both open, showing the PC's stats and a number of items she wears or carries, all of which are pretty much standard for a low level monk in this game. /end ID]

I want to talk a little bit about this character but I might go on for quite a bit so I'll put it under the cut.

Not long ago I posted about my previous monk character, also of the Old Order, and how excited I was that after having imported him into the Enhanced Edition of Neverwinter Nights, you could actually see the cloak he was wearing (in the original versions of the game, you could only see it as a static icon in the inventory, not how it looked on the character, animated and everything). Well, imagine my surprise when while playing yet another monk character I came across a new and improved version of the Robes of the Old Order that looked more like something Friar Tuck or Brother Cadfael might wear.

This is not the only item that looks different in the EE when you find it in the wild as opposed to buying it in the store (for example, the wizard robes are now actually long flowing robes, but only if you start the game with them, someone gives them to you, or you find them in the course of adventuring, such as in a chest). But I liked these enhanced Robes of the Old Order so much that I was prompted to create a whole new character around them. The portrait I ended up using was perfect for this--alas, I haven't been able to track down the artist via Google reverse image search, it came as part of a portrait pack I downloaded long ago--and thankfully one of the in-game avatars for female human characters had a shaved head, because as I might have mentioned before I'm a stickler for things like my PC's avatar matching their portrait.

Anyway, I had to use a cheat to give her the enhanced version of the Robes of the Old Order at the outset, and if she doesn't acquire the Improved Robes of the Old Order on her own before the end of Chapter One I'll use it again to give her those, because the game isn't always as great about rewarding certain character classes as it is others. This is pretty much the only reason I'd ever want to cheat in this game; that is, for roleplaying purposes (I did a similar thing with my Undead Hunter Ranger/Cleric of the Dawnfather, giving him a Shield of Dawn when the game didn't do so automatically within what I considered a reasonable amount of time). Sometimes you have to be your own DM. ;)

Partly inspired by Beauregard of Critical Role Campaign 2, but also by Campaign 3's overall theme, I decided that despite the required "Lawful" alignment, this monk would be pretty chaotic and also atheistic. I don't mean that in the sense of not believing that the gods exist, just being of the opinion that they aren't necessary. See, somewhere along the way I decided that the Old Order is (despite the Western style of the monastic habit) more akin to Eastern philosophies such as Daoism and Zen Buddhism. I didn't just make that up out of the blue, however, it was based squarely on the very sparse amount of information available to us on the Order, such as this scant paragraph from the Forgotten Realms Wiki:

"The Old Order was dedicated to the philosophy espoused by a certain deity, but they did not worship this deity, nor any other, apparently preferring to leave them alone. Their deity was either deceased or had never existed on Toril's Material Plane; the monks were contradictory about this. Some outsiders doubted they'd ever even had a god. The monks considered even the deity's identity unimportant, instead caring only about their message."

What is remarkable about this is that in the Forgotten Realms campaign setting, the soul of any mortal who died without a patron deity got absorbed as a punishment into this enormous wall surrounding the City of Judgment (known as the Wall of the Faithless for this reason) "and wholly became a part of it". Whether you consider this to be an objective fact or only a belief, I have come to the conclusion that the Old Order at least, teaches that it is merely the latter. I don't necessarily see the Order as antagonistic toward any faith, however, except the most destructive and imbalanced ones. Rather I think its mission is to enlighten, and with enlightenment comes the understanding that beliefs are just that--beliefs, and the practitioner would be better off realising the truth.

The vagueness of the description of the Old Order is therefore an asset as far as I'm concerned; it has allowed me the freedom to create my own dogma--or in this case, the absence of such--for the monk character I built around the idea.

#neverwinter nights #nwn #nwn ee #nwn screenshot #neverwinter night enhanced edition #the old order #monk of the old order #robes of the old order #player character #forgotten realms #dnd #dungeons and dragons #video games #my posts #kallisti

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rebelpeas · 2 years

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Okay so I’m back, what is a way I could do this I’ve never really written cabinetduo much but I really like their dynamic, I want to stay away from weird things. How do u write yours? I’ve seen a few different take from other authors before but I don’t want to make it overly confusing

i’m a little sleepy so this answer might not be the best. first off: i am not the headcanon police, nor am i the boss of every cabinetduo enjoyer ever. you can write whatever take you like. “weird things” is a hugely subjective term, too, so i have a hard time parsing what exactly it means.

that being said! i write cabinetduo a lot of ways. i have written them a lot. you can scroll my ao3 if you’re not familiar, but basically everything from stepbrothers (devil town) to shared trauma found family (footnotes) to a gas station employee and the kid who drove him to the emergency room (bigfoot au). that’s the beauty of fanfic - there’s no one “right way” to interpret the characters. mix and match your favorite elements from canon with new things. reinterpret stuff in whatever setting you want. go wild.

( kinda off topic but this has made me realize that i actually only have one fic where cabinetduo are the focus and also fully brothers, and it’s unposted. in that au, schlatt and quackity are married, which does technically make schlatt tubbo’s brother in law. now there’s a dynamic nobody talks about. )

#ask box #anon

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blueinkedfrost · 2 years

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Fiction has a symbolic layer which makes it possible for readers to enjoy, even when the literal level isn't logical.

The youngest child achieves fame and fortune even when they do nothing more useful or interesting than ask their father for a particularly weird present. On a literal level, this is silly. On a symbolic level, this is about one or more of:

If you're an underdog now, don't worry. You might win in the end.

If you know underdogs, be kind to them rather than cruel to them. They might turn out to be princes/princesses in disguise.

The unexpected is a lot more charming and interesting than the expected.

Something else?

Terrible things happen to bad characters. The wicked queen is forced to dance in red hot shoes. The evil vizier is ripped apart by wild horses. On a literal level, this is brutal and inhumane. On a symbolic level, this is a promise that justice will find out those who do wrong.

Almost all of us love love. What might it be like, to be loved so deeply that the lover ignores all common sense, prior commitments, and the laws of physics, and puts love above all else? This is what stories of forbidden love mean to readers - imagining a love so intense that it breaks all boundaries. That kind of love probably won't work in real life, but this is where the Montagues and Capulets come from. This is also where incest, age differences, gay love in a homophobic world, cultural differences, elves and dwarves, opposite political philosophies, cheating, and more forbidden love tropes hang out together (breaking all the rules in order to smooch each other no doubt).

If you want revenge in real life, dig two graves. It's not healthy. But if you want catharsis through fiction, the revenge story is for you. The pain you went through and the wrongs others inflicted on you are important and acknowledged. You deserve to rise above them and take back your power. That's where the Count of Monte Cristo lives.

Many women enjoy sex, but almost all women get the cultural message that it's wrong for women to enjoy sex. In fiction, a woman can be virtuous and say no and still get all the sex she wants - because the fictional man does what the readers want him to do (when they don't like him, they close the book). The no-means-yes trope stinks of the patriarchy, but it's a taste that's possible to indulge through fiction. In real life, of course, if a woman says no you listen to her, but authors give fictional men the power to know the woman's true desires and let her have her virtuous cake and get a slice of action at the same time.

In real life, if a person has murdered tens of thousands of innocent people, we want them jailed for the rest of their natural life. But in fiction, if we watch that character change and grow while we empathise with them as a complex being, we welcome a redemption arc. Redemption arcs symbolise that when you've known guilt, if you've ever felt your own fallibility or held out hope that other people can change, then anything is possible. At their best, redemption arcs help you accept yourself and others for the better.

It might not be very plausible for the same character to have been brutally abused by his father and older brothers, sold into slavery multiple times, taken captive by a vampire wizard who used him as a blood source, recaptured by his first master, then brainwashed and sent on deadly dangerous spy missions. But angst and suffering of our favourite characters in fiction - think of Cinderella and all her many relatives and descendants - makes us think that the character is important, that interesting things happen to them, and that their pain matters. People pay attention to you when you have problems and the 'attention' part can be nice. Through identifying with an angsty fictional character, the reader feels the attention of the narrative without suffering any real life hardships. Or, perhaps, a reader going through difficulties in their regular life seeks out fictional characters who have it worse so that they are able to feel resilience.

We like the idea of being powerful, able to overcome any obstacle in our path. In fiction, it's normal for an action protagonist to be able to kill or beat up massive numbers of people, defeating entire armies thrown at them. It's fun to enjoy that vicarious feeling of power. But in reality, killing or beating up massive numbers of people is a horrible nightmare. Every person is an individual, and even if they're a member of a truly abhorrent organisation, some of them undoubtedly have more sympathetic reasons for being involved than others.

If all the examples in this post make you want to go and write a story that actually makes sense instead of all these silly inconsistent plots, congratulations. You've got a taste for psychological realism, and that's absolutely a good thing! Probably, stories are especially good when both the symbolic level and the literal level make sense.

Hope is a thing with feathers, and stories speak the language in dreams.

#fandom meta

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ewoodxx · 1 year

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..INTRODUCING.. 𝐄𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐖𝐨𝐨𝐝

⚽🏟🏆»»

Hello hello !! I’m Ally & below is the introduction for Ethan Wood, your favorite arrogant footballer with a hot temper && a secret heart of gold..I promise ;) Shoot me a message if you’re interested in plotting.

STATS;

Full Name: Ethan Alexander Wood

Nicknames: E, Wood

Age: twenty-nine

DOB: August 19th

Sign: Leo through and through

Height: 5'11 but he will tell you he is 6ft

Preferred pronouns: He/His

Parents: Oliver Wood (father), Heidi Wood (Mother)

Siblings: Julian (older brother), Aiden (younger brother)

Birthplace: London, England

Neighborhood: Cape May Point

Occupation: striker for arsenal football club

Sign: Leo

(+) ; protective, charming, determined & energetic.

(-) ; ill-tempered, reckless, impulsive, & demanding

Sexuality; heterosexual

Character Inspiration; jamie tartt (ted lasso), tim riggins (friday night lights), zach siler (she’s all that), chuck bass (gossip girl), mickey milkovich (shameless), damon salvatore (vampire diaries), asher adams (all american), billy hope (southpaw), joe kingman (the game plan), jack grealish (english footballer), and lowkey kronk (emperors new grove)

HISTORY;

TW: Alcohol, toxic masculinity

Ethan Wood was born and raised to do one thing and one thing only: play football. Being the middle son of legendary English starting forward Oliver Wood, there was only one path for this budding young football prodigy and it was to follow in daddy’s footsteps donning the prestigious red and white of the three lions before him.

Young Ethan was a natural talent and he picked up the game rather quickly, spending every free moment practicing in the yard or scribbling down strategies. Training never ended for him, not even when he twisted his ankle making runs with his older brother. Though Julian encouraged Ethan to rest, Oliver insisted that Ethan “toughen up,” “be a man,” and “keep practicing.” With his father’s words as law of the land, keep practicing is exactly what the impressionable child did. He suppressed his tears through the pain, not wanting to appear weak in front of his father, only wanting to make him proud and carry on his legacy.

By age nine, Ethan was sent to the Arsenal Youth Academy in London trading in a proper grade school education for the pitch. Of course, what he lacked in brains, his skills on the pitch made up for. He moved up the rankings with ease all the while reveling in the perks that came with being an up and coming star athlete: parties, hookups, popularity. As Ethan’s athletic abilities along with his ego continued to grow, so did his competitive edge, arrogance, and hot temper which is known for getting him into trouble on and off the pitch.

After years of training, Ethan finally secured a spot on the first team of his beloved Arsenal FC. It didn’t take long for him to become the footy star worthy of his surname. Sure, he was still a youngster and had to overcome those pesky rookie years and comparisons to his father, even spending the half a season on the bench for his hot headed temper, but he managed to make a name for himself even if slightly tarnished.

In his off time, Ethan maintained his growing popularity by making appearances at all the London hot spots and kept up a rather impressive social media presence, constantly posting his fitness routines and workouts in addition to his wild nights out. This earned him a reputation off the pitch, and word of his escapades always seemed to make the gossip columns by the following morning.

Ethan was at the height of his career when he was expected to help lead England to victory in the World Cup, however with all newfound success he lost sight of the little boy who just wanted to make his family proud. It was the group stages. Ethan made a couple spectacular runs and even scored an equalizing goal, but it was a shitty call that defeated him, changing the course of play and costing his team the chance to move on in the tournament. He was blind with rage as the match came to a close, shouting and swearing at the referees, even taking a swing at one of them.

And just like that, Ethan was sent off, dropped from the national team, and lost several of his endorsements. He wasn’t given as much playing time with his club team and Oliver became absent in his life, unable to cope with his son’s failures. He began to spiral. Ethan took to drinking more often and sought comfort in meaningless hook-ups to fill a void.

At the request of his Public Relations team and before he could do any more damage to his image, Ethan’s career was put on a permanent hiatus. He was sent to the States for a much needed reset and sabbatical in order to help repair his tainted reputation. They settled on a quaint beach town in NJ far away from all the hustle and bustle of city life where most may not even know his name. His family owns a beach home there.

Now at twenty-nine, with only a handful of years left in his athletic career, Ethan is determined to rectify the past and prove himself as more than just a pretty boy with a bad temper. As they say, what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger. And besides, everyone loves a comeback story right?

TRAITS;

CONFIDENT (+): Being born into practically football royalty, Ethan grew up always believing himself to be the best at everything and anything that was thrown his way. Because of his confidence, Ethan also developed quite a reputation as a flirt and possesses a special brand of pretty boy charm that he wields like armor.

ENERGETIC(+): Ethan is extremely active and has a lot of energy that he doesn’t always know what to do with. Whether it be working out, training, or staying up to the wee hours of the morning. At the same time, he’s the type to wake up at the crack of dawn to get in an early morning training session. He can often be found channeling all his pent up energy into sparring or boxing and of course, kicking around a ball wherever he can find space.

IMPULSIVE(-): Not having to worry much about consequences as a kid, Ethan developed a nasty little habit of acting without thinking. He revels in all sorts of mischief and can be seen as a thrill seeker, living for the adrenaline that thrashes through his veins, for the heart stopping moments, and the rush of it all.

SHORT TEMPERED(-): Ethan was a natural athletic talent from birth. As his abilities continued to grow, so did his hot temper which became known for getting him into trouble on and off the pitch. He’s no stranger to an alcohol induced bawl and struggles to keep his temper under control especially when bested.

AESTHETIC;

cheeky crooked smirks staggering up a strong jawline, toned muscles, benders, overflowing shots of whiskey, calloused hands and bruised knuckles, flashy high top sneakers, trick shots, athletic shorts, shirtless workouts, golden championship trophies, one night stands & sneaking out before sunrise.

HEADCANONS;

Despite the ever present confident air about him, Ethan is super generous especially when it comes to nights out and tipping. He is always happy to pick up the tab and doll out rounds of shots for him and his buddies at no charge. As selfish as he can be sometimes, he loves it when his friends are having a good time and is a firm believer in the more the merrier.

To help him keep his temper under control, Ethan got into boxing/mma. He likes to incorporate it into his workouts whenever he can. He does it mostly to scratch the fighting itch, but every now and again finds himself having to throw down.

For the most part, Ethan can’t really cook, but on the off chance he’s not sneaking out after a one night stand, he makes a killer breakfast, usually in his boxers.

He has a soft spot for astronomy and the stories behind the constellations. Growing up, he always found them fascinating and was the only one of his brothers who would actually sit and listen to his maternal grandfather babble on about them. Those were some of his most cherished memories, and he often celebrates his goals by blowing a kiss to the heavens to dedicate them to the ol’ man.

Whether he’ll admit or not, Moana is his absolute favorite Disney movie, and he will never say no to watching it. He thinks Maui is the shit and knows all of the words to “You’re Welcome” by heart. Beware, he will actually belt it out if asked.

Ethan's family used to summer in Cape May in the off season and the family owns a home in Cape May Point which is where he is currently staying.

WANTED CONNECTIONS;

manager; Ethan has been set to Cape May in order to clean up his image and lay low while the World Cup Disaster blows over, but lord knows he can't do it alone. This person keeps Ethan in check, tries to keep him out of trouble, and make sure he is seen doing and saying all the right things. note: I also plan to send this one to the main.

unlikely friend; Though Ethan puts on this tough guy facade 98% of the time, he does have a few low-key nerdy (his words) hobbies. He took a great liking to astronomy and particularly loves the mythology aspect of it, all the wars and hero journeys. These two bonded over their love for the stars and myths and a friendship formed from there. If anyone wants to geek out with him let me know xD

workout partner(s); being a professional athlete means that Ethan is very into keeping in shape, even when he’s hungover xD This could go two ways:1.) These two bonded over their love of the gym and they pushed each other to bring out the most of one another. It could even be a bit of rivalry, too! 2.) Ethan took this person under their wing as a trainer of sorts and is helping them work out, keep healthy, and perhaps impress someone they have their eye on.

Ex; Ethan isn’t really into the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing but him and this girl hit it off and dated for a while when he was younger. He probably wasn’t the best boyfriend but he’s “grown up” a bit since then. I’m picturing it as a relationship from the past that he is somehow forced to revisit now. Perhaps a summer fling since his family used to summer there growing up.

and ofc buddies, exes, besties, hook-ups, fwbs, rivals, enemies etc. or whatever else you can think of. I am up for whatever!

#cape.intro

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afterthegreatunknown · 2 years

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I got tagged by @gellavonhamster. Thank you for the tag! This was very fun to do!

Fanfic Writer 20 Questions

1. how many fics do you have on ao3?

117 fics. I used Anonymous before, and due to how it works, I’m not including them in my work count.

2. what is your ao3 word count?

277,879.

3. how many fandoms do you write for and what are they?

Currently, the Persona series (main focus is Persona 1 and Persona 5), and ASOUE/Snicket-verse (I’m lumping ATWQ in due to a lack of works written for it). Past fandoms included Final Fantasy XV, Law and Order, Once Upon a Time, and others not worth mentioning here.

(Under the cut due to length.)

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

Because the top five fics aren’t ASOUE/Snicket-verse works, I won’t link them, but I will explain enough for the general idea to be known.

Monkey Men (Persona 1 and Persona 5), 68 kudos. A work focusing on the characters Masao ‘Mark’ Inaba and Ryuji Sakamoto, who are associated/are compare to monkeys in their perspective games, eventually meet, talk, and bond over well, being monkey men (it makes more sense in context).

Hundred Percent Bitter (Persona 5), 68 kudos (again). A work focusing on two characters, Ryuji Sakamoto and Goro Akechi, talking about love, with a too late realization from one of them that fits the title all too well.

But it Rings, and I Rise (Persona 1 and Persona 5), 68 kudos (again!). Two characters, Naoya Toudou and Sumire Yoshizawa, talk to one around, realizing they have a bit more in common than it initially appear, for they went through a life event that changed them forever.

Egotistical Showoff (Persona 1 and Persona 5), 58 kudos. AU Fic- a P1 character, Hidehiko ‘Brown’ Uesugi, f*cks up the timeline by accidentally meeting Goro Akechi, who was seconds away from doing what canon intended him to do (and be). Comes with voice doppelgangers and fatherhood.

Unfinished (Once Upon a Time), 50 kudos. An unfinished (hehe) fic that is an AU/Canon Divergence where Pinocchio/August Booth decides to stick around to be Emma Swan’s older brother, and things go wild from there with other divergences that don’t reflect/affect this divergence. Much.

5. do you respond to comments? why/why not?

I try make sure to respond to comments! I really appreciate the feedback, because after all, someone took time of their day to read my work, and they enjoy it to where they comment on it!

6. what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

ASOUE/Snicket-verse wise, Recognition. There’s other ASOUE/Snicket-verse stuff that I can call angsty, but Recognition is the angstiest of all. But if I had to pick one fic with the angstiest ending of all my fics, it’s is the mentioned Hundred Percent Bitter Persona 5 fic. Wrote it in mind to be that way, too.

7. do you write crossovers?

The closest I got to writing a crossover is a Law and Order fic title Lose-Lose Situation, which directly takes dialogue from Hiimdaisy's Persona 4 fancomic (a parody comic of the Persona 4 game itself).

8. have you ever gotten hate on a fic?

No. I got a few comments telling me of mistakes I accidentally looked over, but those were well intended and I felt were not made to be hurtful.

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Nope. I don’t think I’m cut out for it. I think I’m more likely to write a fic where it’s the morning after, all cuddles and mundane couple/domestic things.

10. have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so. I haven’t check.

11. have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

12. have you ever co-written a fic?

Also a no.

13. what’s your all-time favourite ship?

ASOUE/Snicket-verse wise, AO3 tells me it’s Hector & Captain Widdershins with three works (I love how it’s the platonic relationship that is my favorite ship for this fandom). AO3 also tells me for Persona, it’s a Persona 1 ship: Ayase Yuka/Mayuzumi Yukino (F/F) with three works (Japanese valley girl equivalent and a former delinquent being [eventual] girlfriends is quite the combination).

14. what’s a wip that you want to finish but you don’t think you ever will?

Unfinished is the big one, because I lost a majority of my drive to work on it, which makes the title very fitting (it sucks too, because I have loads of ideas on diverging the fic from OUAT canon more and only a few got into the final product before I stopped writing for it). ASOUE/Snicket-verse wise, the one that fits the closest is something I call, ‘The Chaperone’. I’m currently rewriting it, and it’s a struggle because I’m still debating what of the OG ‘The Chaperone’ fic can work in the rewrite.

15. what are your writing strengths?

*shrugs*. I write the best when writing smaller works, like ficlets and drabbles, but I’m not sure if that truly counts. I think my strength would be plot? I make sure the plot makes sense from start to end for the readers to get hints (if I drop them), and make sure the conclusion feels natural and not coming out of nowhere and underdeveloped.

16. what are your writing weaknesses?

I got many, but the biggest one is to make sure no one is out of character. That meme of ‘he would not f*cking say that’ is in full effect here (unless it’s meant to be a humor/crack fic, then that goes out the window deliberately). I like to think I got better over the years, especially in the Persona fandom.

17. what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in another language?

I say done in small doses with an accessible source that isn’t Google that is trustworthy, it’s good. In my case, I frequently do it with Spanish. My dad is Mexican and thus speaks fluent Spanish, so I go to him for help (asking casually though). I also have old notes from official dictionaries/books use to learn Spanish, but don’t use it unless I can’t ask my dad.

18. what is the first fandom you ever wrote for?

OUAT. They were posted on a sideblog I eventually deleted, and I can’t really recall what they were about (that’s probably for the better). Interesting enough, the first fic to be posted on AO3 is still an OUAT fic: If Found Please Return. It’s my take of an August and Jefferson scene in the episode Hat Trick shown in promotional photos but cut in the final episode.

19. what’s your favourite fic that you have ever written?

ASOUE/Snicket-verse wise, I got Not Quite a True Platonic Declaration of Love, Recognition (linked in question six) and it’s sequel Reunited, and Don't Think I've Forgotten. These fics I put more time and effort than I originally planned, so that’s why they’re here. Recognition holds a special place in comparison to the others, being one I re-read time to time.

Other favorite fics will have to be Monkey Men, for Mark and Ryuji are some of favorite characters of the Persona Series, and a Final Fantasy XV fic I wrote title Best Not To Question It, for it was inspired by a real glitch my sister and I witness when she was playing the game that had us laughing our ass off (and thinking of that memory now, I still get a chuckle from it).

20. who do you tag?

Because I don’t know and have many people to tag who I feel would want to do this, I say anyone who sees this, and wants to do it, do it.

#ask game #asks game #writer related tag #i have no idea how to tag this

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