#which is going to be stressful for both of us bc of my nephew

[milf-harrington]

shaking my friends by the shoulders begging them to actually REPLY to my QUESTIONS bc otherwise i dont know how to organise everything!!! i am going to lose it!!!

[the-bjd-community-confess]

so. *steeples fingers* this is kind of complicated to explain but i just saw a doll like this and needed to.. idk. confess lol. i’m sorry this might be weird or confusing to read. but, unpopular opinion: i kinda dislike? (i think?) when people give their characters (and therefore dolls) vitiligo.

It feels really… fetishized is strong, and performative isn’t exactly it either. it just makes me make a :\ face most of the time. And it’s not like it’s *bad* per se, because it’s always nice to see some rep in some way. obviously, not everyone is doing it to be harmful or anything. Vitiligo runs in my family and I happen to have it kind of… mildly? idk. My patches aren’t huge yet, and you can’t really see them around my lips vs my chest, arms, hands and feet. I also happen to be mixed (black/white), so I’m one with dark skin primarily & light patches that’ll get progressively whiter with time. aka, I *sort* of look like everyone and their mother’s characters/dolls who have vitiligo bc they just really only like giving dark people it. (and also it just??? never looks like our disease but whatever. Artistic freedom and shit I guess.) they also seem to love making sure it’s concentrated in the face, which.. again, it can totally be? Again I stress sort of, because I don’t have obvious face markings.

However my aunt does have the face markings, and she hates them, and saw a barbie and was super surprised about the fact they were making barbies with vitiligo. and i was like yeah, it’s a really popular aesthetic lately. i pulled up some bjds and she was like “… so… they just do brown and white? it’s cute…” her over all opinion was it’s cute that people make the dolls brown and white, because it looks like me (aka, she has the family member bias that something that looks like her nieces/nephews is automatically cute). but i was like “they only do those colors though :/” and she said “good! mine are ugly!” difference between her and i with this is that she’s from my white side. so her vitiligo spots are on white skin. if anything, hers are way less noticeable! but they cover up to her elbows, and up to her ankles, and all around her mouth, eyes, and a bit into her eyebrows.

Ithink it made us both go :/ in different ways for a similar reason, and rewriting our convo made me realize i literally said it before: it kind of feels more like an “aesthetic” than people just acknowledging it’s a condition normal people of all skin colors have. Instead they’re focused on how cool contrasting colors and tones are. (on a different subject, I also feel weird being like “but where are the white dolls [with this skin condition] ?!” as a mixed person with dark skin, because. y’know. having dark skin rep is also amazing. but that’s a whole other can of worms) my aunt thinks her white on white spots are ugly, and other people make it for the “aesthetic” because it’s cool to have different colors and having white on white would be boring.

I could go on for a while, but I’m kind of running out of words and i feel like there will be enough people being like “uhhh who cares let people do what they want with their dolls”. which to that: that’s fair. people CAN do whatever they want with their dolls, and characters. This trend didn’t start yesterday, and I’ve felt this way for a few years now when people started making “inclusive” ocs that felt more like caricatures. but I totally understand with dolls you CAN just have a doll for the aesthetic appeal and look for YOU and not as a statement, and if that means a dark skinned doll with vitiligo, sure. But like. :/ face and a light reminder that “my disease is also not an aesthetic, and neither is my skin tone/ethnicity”. But that also applies for so many different skin colors/disabilities/visible diseases/ethnicities/you name it.

So uh. tl;dr, dolls with vitiligo make me go :/ but mainly because they’re always dark skinned dolls w/ white patches so it feels like the person made it for the ~aesthetic~. but also. it’s not my doll so it’s not really my problem. (and yes, cvlur’s most recent face plate was the doll i saw that made me :/ and then made me ://// for Many Reasons lmfao)

~Anonymous

[scoopsahoy]

i just read ur fic about getting pregnant with steve and was wondering if u could write one about the reader and steve struggling for a few years to get pregnant, and she has an emotional breakdown one night bc she doesn't feel like enough for him because it's been pushed on her that women's only jobs are to have kids and shes like "i cant even do that so how am i supposed to please you" and he comforts her and makes her feel better

ぺ  word count ⋰ 2.3k

✰  tw ⋰ none :)

❍  cw ⋰ swearing, mentions of sex

✐  masterlist

⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★⋆★

You sat on the toilet seat with your leg bouncing, anxiously waiting for the pregnancy test results to show up. This had become a new norm for you: getting pregnancy tests and anxiously awaiting the results. And you were sick of it.

It took a toll on you. Getting a negative result every single month for four years straight was stressful mentally and physically. You’d had a migraine for at least three and a half years, and no medicine helped. You were always nauseous and sick, which your gynecologist said was normal in your situation. You were always tired and sad, which affected your job and your relationship with Steve.

You knew he was just as tired of it as you were, and you knew he was probably exhausted from having to care for you all the time.

It had also taken a toll on your sex life. At this point, you two only had sex to reproduce. You rarely finished and always denied his offers to help you. You would always flip yourself upside down afterward to help the sperm enter your uterus.

You’d both been to the doctor multiple times to see which one of you was fertile. Steve was one hundred percent fertile, while you had less of a chance of getting pregnant that you should’ve had.

You’d been to multiple IVF appointments as well. It wasn’t Steve’s favorite thing in the world to go into a room alone and masturbate to porn to provide sperm samples.

At this point, he didn’t enjoy looking at other women to get off, so you had taken pictures of yourself to give him.

The first few times it was awkward for him afterward, but you assured him there was nothing uncomfortable about it.

You’d probably spent over ten thousand dollars on it, and it was heartbreaking each time it didn’t work.

At the end of the five minutes, you grabbed the test out of the sink, feeling a pain in your heart at the single line.

You tossed it back into the sink as you stood up, feeling tears slide down your face. Your back hit the wall and you slid down until you felt yourself land on your ass.

You pulled your knees into your chest, propped your elbows on them, and put your hands into your palms.

You couldn’t help but sob. You and Steve had been trying for four years to conceive. And, despite everything mentioned, none of it worked. This was one of your last straws, a wave of sadness washing over you.

You both desperately wanted kids, preferably two or three. But at this point, you’d be lucky to even have one.

Steve made it clear that in the end, if you couldn’t have children of your own, he’d be perfectly okay with adopting, or just not having any. And you agreed.

However, you had the longing to create your own child. Everything from the pregnancy, to giving birth, to raising that child from the moment they came out, until the moment they could care for themselves. You wanted that more than anything, but you’d be happy to adopt if you were infertile.

But sitting on the bathroom floor knowing that every effort you made — propping yourself upside down after sex, aforementioned IVF treatments, tracking your cycles, staying healthy, etc. — didn’t work, made your heart hurt.

You wondered if you were good enough for Steve, if you could really give him what he wanted. If he was genuinely happy with trying to have kids for years on end and being unsuccessful. You wondered if that was what he wanted, if he was still happy with you.

Your sobs filled the bathroom, making you glad Dustin wasn’t there.

Dustin was your younger brother, and currently, he was at the arcade. He knew about your struggle to have kids, and he usually tried to help, whether it was with the foods you ate, or getting you vitamins, making sure your mom didn’t keep her alcohol where you could get to it, etc.

You thought it was sweet how much he wanted a niece or nephew, always talking about babysitting them and allowing them into the party.

You always made sure he was gone when you took pregnancy tests. You loved him, but comfort wasn’t his strong suit. Sometimes it would work just because of the effort, but sometimes it would make you feel worse. So, you figured the easiest way to avoid that was to make sure he wasn’t there.

The rest of the party was also anticipating you getting pregnant. Max, Eleven, and Nancy all said they would help her with girl things like periods, dating, and other things boys didn’t understand.

And Mike, Lucas, Dustin, Will, and Jonathan all said they would indoctrinate him/her into their Dungeons and Dragons campaigns.

It made you cry the first time you found out how excited they were to have a new member of the family.

But you hated making them wait. Dustin and Robin were the only ones who knew how long you’d been trying, so the rest of them kept jokingly bugging you about them getting a new DnD member.

When Steve got home from work, he found you crying on the bathroom floor. He looked in the sink, seeing another negative test.

He sat on the toilet seat, placing his hands on your knees. He didn’t say anything, he let you talk at your own pace.

“Negative again,” you said, your voice stuffy.

He nodded. “I know.”

“What the hell is wrong with me?”

“Hey, look at me.”

You pulled your hands from your face, revealing your eyes bloodshot and puffy, your skin soaked in tears.

He stood up and held his hands out for you to take. You pulled yourself up and he cupped your face. He wiped your cheeks with his thumbs, before grabbing a dry cloth and cleaning your face completely.

“Come here,” he said, pulling you into a deep hug. You cried into his chest, leaving tear stains on his shirt. He gently pulled you to the bedroom a few seconds later. You sat against the headboard, resting your elbows on your knees. He sat across from you, only a few feet away.

He gripped your hands as you continued crying. It was silent for a few minutes before he continued the conversation.

“There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“Then why can’t I get pregnant?”

“You know that’s not your fault.”

“Is it enough for you? Am I enough for you?”

He furrowed his brows. “What are you talking about?”

“If I can’t give you a kid. If I can’t get pregnant, despite everything we’ve done, despite every effort we’ve made... will I be enough? Won’t you want more?”

“Don’t. Don’t even think like that. Don’t say that. Of course, you’ll still be enough for me.”

You softly shook your head. “I don’t believe that.”

“Why not?”

“Because you said that all you want in life is children. You want at least one son and one daughter. And you want to name one of them Dustin, and one of them Robin. And you’ve told me that you want to have a hundred grandkids so you can spoil all of them. And if I can’t give that to you-”

“Stop. Stop talking.” He gripped your hands tighter. “I don’t care. If you can’t give me that, that’s okay. More than anything, I want you. I want you, even if we don’t have a hundred grandkids.”

You felt more tears fall down your face, hitting your legs. He tilted your chin up to look at him.

“Why?” you asked.

“‘Why’ what?”

“Why wouldn’t you want someone who could give you that?”

“Because I don’t want just anybody. I want you. I’d live a thousand lifetimes without kids if it meant I got to be with you.”

“But you want a family.”

“Baby,” he chuckled. “We’re already a family. You and me, we are a family. We don’t need a child to be a family. Hell, we can adopt a dog or a cat if we wanted to. And that would still make us as much of a family as people with kids.”

“But we both want kids. I want kids. I want to be pregnant, I want to give birth, I want to hold the baby after they come out. I want to celebrate their first steps, their first words, their first birthday. I want to do that.” He didn’t say anything. “How am I supposed to please you if I can’t even get pregnant?” you mumbled.

He furrowed his brows. “What?”

“I mean, we’ve always been taught that in marriages, in order to be a good wife and please your husband, you should have kids.”

“Who the hell taught you that?”

You raised your eyebrows. “School, my family, everyone. I’ve grown up hearing that in order to be a good wife to my husband, I have to give him kids and that’s how we’re supposed to please you.”

He shook his head. “I’ve never been taught to only expect kids from my wife. They’ve been feeding you that bullshit?” You nodded. “For how long?”

“All my life.”

“I’ve grown up learning from my mom that, even if I don’t have kids with the person I marry, I should find someone that I can’t live without. That’s you.”

“Steve-”

“Y/N, you don’t have to bear a child to please me. I am so madly, deeply, stupidly in love with you. There is nothing you can do to make me not love you. You hear me?” You didn’t reply. “Why do you think I proposed to you and married you?”

“You wanted to start a family, but not outside of marriage. Isn’t that why every guy gets married?”

“Nope. Not even close. I mean, that’s a factor, but do you know the real reason I married you?” You still didn’t answer. “I married you to be with you,” he said as he poked you lightly on the chest. “I married you so I could spend the rest of my life with you. Obviously, I do want a family, but, like I said, I’d go a million years without kids if it meant I got to be with you.”

You were only crying harder now. “Steve-”

“I am so fucking in love with you, Y/N. Do you want to know how long it took me to get that ring-” He pointed to your engagement ring on your finger, which was joined by your wedding band, “after we started dating?” You shook your head. “Three days.”

Your eyes got wide. “What?”

“Yep. Three days into our relationship, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. You know why I didn’t propose sooner?” You shook your head again. “We weren’t eighteen. That was the only thing holding me back. I had to wait two years to propose to you because we had to wait until we were adults.”

You looked down at your ring. “They let you buy an engagement ring at sixteen?” you chuckled.

“I guess so. I got it, didn’t I?”

You smiled. “I love you,” you whispered.

“I love you, too.” You squeezed his hands.

“Tell you what. Why don’t we take a break from trying? I mean, we’re only twenty-three. We have time. I know it’s stressing you out. Your head always hurts and you’re always sick. Let’s just wait a little while.”

You nodded. “That would actually be really nice.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Maybe we can have sex just to have sex, not to make a baby.”

“Absolutely.”

You looked at him and he gave you a small smile.

“I don’t deserve you,” you said, your voice cracking.

“I think I’m the one that doesn’t deserve you.”

You laughed softly. “And if we can’t have our own kids, we can adopt,” you said.

“Absolutely.”

“Take a kid or two out of the system.”

“Absolutely,” he repeated.

You got on your knees and hugged him, the two of you squeezing each other tightly.

“Did I mention that I love you?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Are you sure? Because I do.”

“I’m sure,” you giggled. “I love you, too.”

When you pulled away, he looked at you. “Don’t blame yourself, baby. Seriously. It’s not your fault.”

“I know.”

“Okay.”

You pulled him in for one last kiss before heading to the kitchen to start dinner.

—

You, Steve, Dustin, Mike, Lucas, Max, and Robin all sat in your dining room. For dinner, you made chicken burritos. The kids were all joking around and talking about the arcade when you decided to get their attention.

“So, me and Steve talked today,” you said, clearing your throat. They all looked at you. “I think... we’re gonna stop trying to have a kid for a little while.”

“What?” Lucas asked. “Why?”

“We’ve been trying for four years. I mean, we’ve done IVF-”

“What’s IVF?” Mike asked.

“In vitro. It’s artificial insemination.”

“We’ve done that about six times,” Steve said. “And it hasn’t worked.”

“Nothing we’ve done has worked. So, for now, we’re gonna take a break. I mean, it takes a toll on us.”

They nodded. “Okay. Whenever you get pregnant, that just means we can have someone else to play games with and invite to the arcade,” Lucas said. “Even if we’re older.”

Steve rested his hand on your thigh.

—

Laying in bed and being Steve’s little spoon as he slept caused you to start thinking again.

You didn’t realize it before, but you were more okay with waiting than you thought you would be. Sure, you’d be slightly older when you were pregnant — if you wound up pregnant at all — but you were fine with it.

Knowing that you were with someone like Steve, who didn’t care if you couldn’t have kids, was a relief. You knew you married the right person, and you knew your kids would be right about you two being soulmates.

[c0rpsedemon]

i am curious, as someone who’s only exposure to arthurania was reading jane yolen’s young merlin as a child, would you mind saying why hnoc is a bad adaptation? i’m super curious but no worries if not <3

this has been sitting in my inbox for months bc i kept telling myself i needed to write a full essay with proof from medieval lit to make myself feel smarter.  however, since i’ve recently lost all credibility bc i can’t articulate points to save my life, and since i’ve realized that i could answer this in a just a couple paragraphs, now seems like the right time to answer this ask. sorry for the wait.

under a cut bc length

also warnings for mentions of racism bc this is hnoc we're talking abt and sexual assault bc this is med lit we're also talking abt

the basic problems are pendragon polycule itself, the story beats of the album, the fridging and lack of characterization of morgan le fay, the clear influence of pop culture arthuriana, and whatever the fuck happened with gawain/e.

pendragon polycule is... just not a good take.  there’s a bit in the lancelot-grail abt arthur viewing lancelot like a son (and lancelot not giving a shit abt him).  also arthur knew his parents for years before lancelot was even born.  plus lancelot just Doesn’t care abt him and i can’t stress this part enough.  arthur repeatedly tries to have guinnevere killed, mostly in the lancelot-grail, and guinn didn’t really have any say in marrying him bc she was a teenager.  lancelot and guinnevere is a lot better but that’s not saying much.  guinn doesn’t exactly treat lancelot too well... like at all, BUT it’s not intrinsic to their relationship and is completely caused by medieval misogyny and i’m all in favor of modern retellings saying fuck that.  but also lancelot has multiple pseudo-canon boyfriends (this is med lit after all), and one pseudo-canon husband so like... there were better options.  (also lancelot’s husband is basically in a lavender marriage with guinnevere’s maybe girlfriend who most authors just eventually forget abt as the story progresses).

this next one is a problem with a lot of modern arthurian works bc the inclusion of elayne of astolat is too much to ask apparently.  the grail quest isn’t tied to the fall of camelot, it just happens to be one of the last grand adventures the knights of the round table have.  the event that traditionally sets off the fall is the death of the maiden of astolat/the lady of shalott/elayne of escolat/she has a lot of names, her story has a few variations but usually she either is cursed to stay in a tower and weave and only be able to see the outside world through a mirror positioned across from her window, until lancelot rides by and she rushes to see him out of the actual window and her mirror shatters, setting off her death, or she lives with her father and brothers and takes care of lancelot bc he was injured for a time and she gets to go on adventures to find him and she’s friends with gawaine and she dies bc lancelot rejects her and this version’s a lot more fun but also more happens which makes it harder to explain.  the way her story ends however, is that she dies after she makes arrangements for a glorious boat to drift from astolat to camelot carrying nothing but her dead body and a letter explaining that she died of love for lancelot du lac and the court mourns the death of such a beautiful and young maiden (her age varies a lot but i’ve always read her as a young teenager at most).  but the important thing is, camelot is doomed from the moment she washes up on its shore bc she’s an omen of the end and has symbolic meaning and all that, the maiden of astolat washes up on camelot’s shores, the court mourns the loss of a maiden in her prime and she marks the end of camelot’s prime as well, morgan le fay reappears after being presumed dead and warns arthur of guinnevere and lancelot’s affair, aggravaine and modred conspire to bring lancelot and guinnevere’s affair to light, they succeed but lancelot escapes, guinnevere is to be burnt at the stake and lancelot rescues her, killing aggravaine, gaheris and gareth (gawaine’s brothers) in the process, gawaine drags his uncle and camelot to war bc he was driven mad due to the loss of his brothers, lancelot accidentally kills gawaine, his best friend and maybe boyfriend (i have RECEIPTS), and gawaine forgives him on his detahbed while lancelot and guinn rejoin arthur, meanwhile modred, who practically had the throne handed to him, usurps and invites the saxons in, camlann happens, and camelot is destroyed.  no where in there is the grail quest.

morgan le fay is honestly the most questionable part of the album bc there’s not a single text where she dies.  like....  at least with eurydice in udad she died in the original... there’s no basis for morgan dying.  also she is NOT modred’s mother and anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar, she interacts with him once in the vulgate bc she had three of her nephews over and that’s IT.  it’s a horrible take which originated in the mists of avalon by marion zimmer bradley who is an honest to god monster for reasons i don’t want to trigger tag this post for.  also she’s one of the most dynamic and thought-out characters in the entire canon and they just made her a watered down morgause (modred’s actual mother, morgan’s sister, canonical milf)... there was no reason for it to be her apart from the fact that she’s more well known......

pop culture arthuriana is,,, one of my least favorite things.  no, morgan wasn’t modred’s mother, no, morgause wasn’t abusive but her husband sure was implied to be, no, aggravaine didn’t kill his mother, that was gaheris, he loved his mother, you’re only saying that bc he has a reputation as the “evil” orkney, no, the once and future king is not a good descriptor for arthur, stop making me read it, no, morgause wasn’t the one to initiate the thing with arthur resulting in modred, no, lancelot and arthur weren’t friends, no, tristan wasn’t a self-centered asshole, tennyson is a fucking liar, no, galahad didn’t have sex or want to, he’s one of the first ever explicitly asexual characters out there, no, galahad’s conception was NOT consensual, lancelot was tricked, and no, elayne of astolat wasn’t galahad’s mother, she’s implied to be younger than him.  those are just the big glaring ones, but i swear it’s bc of arthuriana’s reputation as a mythology and the connotations belonging to that word (no one true canon (which is true but there are still things that just AREN’T canon, not completely written down, passed by oral tradition) that causes ppl to see mediocre modern texts and go “oh. well this is abt as close to the original as i’m going to get” and don’t bother to look into so much as malory (who i only name bc he’s one of the most well known medieval authors with the most commonly used storylines, don’t read malory kids, he’s a mediocre-at-best writer even by medieval standards).  the big perpetrators of modern arthurian tropes are the books the once and future king by th wh*te, who is a shitty person and lets it bleed into his writing (which isn’t like... nice to read or anything, seriously why do ppl love this book so much it doesn’t have redeeming qualities), and the mists of avalon by marion zimmer bradley (it’s poorly written, the story is a mess, and mzb is honestly a monster and one google search will tell you that), and unfortunately the writings of tennyson, which are mostly good but he clearly didn’t read the povest (a later text that’s also my favorite, known for significantly improving ppl’s opinions on tristan, isolde and co.) before deciding he hated both tristan and isolde and he has HORRIBLE takes on them.  high noon over camelot is SEEPED in pop culture arthuriana and i think it would have been so much better if the band had read so much as a SUMMARY of the events of le morte.  it’s evident in the song “the once and future king” bc it’s,,,, literally named after one of the worst books in existence.  it’s shown in the morgan le fay thing, and it’s shown in the pendragon polycule thing.  and hell, i think you can even explain away the lack of elayne of astolat with pop culture arthuriana, bc ppl have had bad takes on her ever since th wh*te combined her character with that of ela*ne of corbenic, and the band probably went “huh, let’s write lancelot’s abuser out of this” and they would’ve been right to do so if that’s who elayne of astolat was.

the final big issue is gawaine, the closest thing the genre has to a protagonist, he’s pretty much canon bi and, in some texts, arospec, he’s a dashing knight of great reknown and he derails every romance to steal hearts, commit murder, and make out with every knight and lady mentioned.  and in hnoc he’s... racist.  that’s it.  it’s,,, almost completely unfounded by the arthurian canon and shows a major misunderstanding of his motivations (like i said earlier, he wants to avenge his brothers bc there’s a reoccuring motif of how much the orkneys value family).  i say almost bc in one text it’s his motivations for killing palomydes but i’ve never heard it mentioned by name bc that’s just what it’s known for.  most arthuriana fans just look away from it except when critiquing hnoc but that one text is an outlier, shouldn’t be counted, and i highly doubt the mechs made hnoc gawain how he is bc they found this text.  it’s just a bad text.

hnoc has,,, quite a few more minor issues, such as villainized ladies of the lake (their ONLY crimes were sealing away merlin bc he tried to assault teenage nimue/ninniane (proto-nimue/vivianne from the vulgate), and that one time vivviane/ninniane kidnapped adopted baby lancelot), assigning brain to merlin (y’know,,, the predator who helped arrange the [redacted] of arthur’s mother and tried to assault a teenager,,,) although merlin is portrayed in a positive light throughout modern arthuriana so i don’t think they knew, giving a song to pellinore, who my perception of has been forever altered bc i was introduced to him through malory and the explanation of torre’s conception, which you can just look up “sir torre arthurian” to find out abt if you can’t just Guess, if they wanted a song abt the questing beast palomydes was Right There AND has been associated with the questing beast for longer, but once again i don’t think they knew.

also namedropping a bunch of knights in the fiction is... it Suggests a bigger world full of all these other stories but they just don’t work bc the world of hnoc wasn’t designed in a way where the appearance of half these characters would make sense.  like,, tristan is referenced as dying in the grail quest in the same sentence as bedevere (one of the characters who is known for almost always surviving), but tristan Isn’t one of the knights who dies on the grail quest, his possible deaths (ignoring the potentially happy ending of the povest for a second) are either being murdered by his uncle, king mark (bc mark married tristan’s gf to try and get tristan killed and also to spite him), bc he was driven into a fury bc of tristan and isolde’s affair, or he’s injured and only isolde (the best healer in the world) can save him so he sends for her and if the ship he sent for her is supposed to fly white sails if she’s there, or black sails if she’s not, and the ship flies white sails but his wife (also named isolde) says it’s black sails (the why depends but usually comes down to jealousy), and so he gives up bc he thinks all hope is lost and usually succumbs to his injuries, either way isolde dies of a broken heart over his body.  there’s no way for the tristan and isolde story to play out like it’s supposed to in the world of hnoc, just as there’s no way for any story with gawaine (and Oh Boy are there a lot of stories with gawaine) or pretty much anyone else, without severely altering the canon.

of course, there are still parts of hnoc i like a lot, most of the music i adore and i just like the idea of space cowboys and the secret good hnoc that lives in my head.  and it has one of my favorite characterizations of galahad, even though galahad hnoc is nothing like galahad arthuriana.  it’s not GOOD but i like it and it’s fun to turn my brain off too, and i’ll always value it as my introduction to arthuriana.

also there are modern arthurian tropes i do like such as characters being genre-savvy/knowing they’re fictional/knowing they’ve done this before (which hnoc does wonderfully!) and bedevere-as-the-storyteller (everyone say thank you lord tennyson).

WOW that was longer than expected, i feel very passionately abt this, when i was planning to write a fully sourced essay i meant to include a bit at the bottom with recommendations to get into better arthuriana and i think i’ll keep that in this post.

if you like hnoc for the arthurian music i’d like to suggest heather dale’s arthurian music to you, she does occasionally fall into the trap of modern arthuriana (some parts of lancelot and arthur being close, morgan as modred’s mother), sometimes she’s just wrong (galahad at lancelot’s trial, a lot of tristan and isolde), and her stuff is kinda straightwashed sometimes (sir gawain and the green knight, for example) but i’d be lying if it wasn’t catchy, and it’s not quite as bad as hnoc adaptation-wise.  culwch and olwen is pretty accurate (albeit abridged bc culwch and olwen has SO many tangents), as is lily maid (it’s abt elayne of astolat!).

if you liked hnoc for king arthur... in space! then may i recommend to you my own fanfic? it's not posted yet but the second i finish writing the first chapter i'm going to make a Big Deal out of it that'll be impossible to miss!

if you want to learn abt arthuriana through tumblr-osmosis like i did at first, i’d like to recommend the love of my life @acegalahads, first and foremost (it’s me on a sideblog i’m just obsessed with myself), and i can’t recommend my arthuriana mutuals over there, @/gringolet, @/merlinenthusiast, @/jcbookworm, @/elayneofshalott, and @/elaineofascolat (the elayne urls have been popular recently), also i know for a fact that my mutual-in-law, @/itonje makes great arthuriana posts that i look forwards to whenever i open the tag.

here are a few good reference posts, a quick guide to the characters, a guide to characters of color, and a much more comprehensive intro to arthuriana post with even more texts linked to it.

if you want to ease into med lit, i’d like to introduce you to pre-raphaelite poetry, alfred lord tennyson and william morris are my favorites, although tennyson can’t be trusted with tristan and isolde.  the poem the lady of shalott is basically a rite of passage for arthuriana fans, although when it comes to tennyson’s writings abt elayne of astolat, i prefer lancelot and elaine, which is part of his much larger story, idylls of the king.  for morris, don’t trust what he says abt aggravaine killing his mother, but my favorites of his are sir galahad, a christmas mystery, which sounds like a shitty disney sequel, and palomyde’s quest, which i blame for my love of palomydes (that and the one bit of the povest where he asks tristan to be his greatest enemy and that he wants nothing more, gay ppl,,,,).

if you want to read abt lancelot and his husband, there’s the lancelot-grail cycle, which i believe was taken off of archive dot org and i think i found it on @/tobeisexhausting’s blog but don’t quote me on that.

the povest, which was a religious experience for me and i can’t reccomend enough if you want to like tristan and isolde, is here, i don’t know who scanned it but i think i found it on @/lanzelet’s blog

the dutch texts are just good in general, here’s a link to their section of a(n unfinished) site for hosting various texts by my former mutual @/reynier (who’s no longer on tumblr).  i’d like to recommend lancelot and the white hart specifically bc it’s mainly just just gawaine being gay for lancelot.

if you want older works, here’s my scan of the history of the kings of britain, and here’s culwch and olwen and pa gur.

oh wow this is even longer than i thought it would be so i’m going to wrap this up by saying that i always love to talk abt arthuriana more than anything if you have any questions or just are curious!

[infraaa]

I HAD A FUCKING EXPLOSION THE OTHER DAY—

So if you follow me you know that sometimes I make Royal Chaos content. If you’re also a history geek like me you’d know that most of the heroes from RC if not all are based off of real people.

Six out of eight of the most beautiful people of Chinese history are in the game, being Pan’An, Song Yu, Prince Gao, who is also known as Lanling Wang for the men, and Diaochan, Zhaojun, and Yuhuan for the women.

The other two are missing: Wei Jie and Xi Shi.

But good news for you all because after some digging I found them. And they are SO CUTE! We need to make a petition for RC to put these characters into the game! I can DEFINITELY see the four most beautiful men and women having a connection with one another, like little hubs! 😫 But I know what you’re thinking now, maybe some of you. Royal Chaos shouldn’t take from other games! Oh, but my dearest reader, you do know that some of Royal Chaos’s characters are in different games too, right? It wouldn’t be “taking from,” now if they just stole the concept than yes it would be. It’s not like Sega took Mario and co for the Olympic Games, and Vice versa. It’s kind of like that in a sense. ☺️

So, with no further adieu, I bring to you...

✨Headcanons on what class they’d be in and what they can do, as well as background information!✨

Disclaimer: I’m terribly sorry if I spell any of this wrong, Chinese is not my first language and it’s hard to spell out in English. Also, tw // war and suicide mentions, as well as descriptions of murder and violence, just in case...

This is Xi Shi.

Her clothes actually remind me a lot of Diaochan’s with the colors, as well as the moon in the back, as per history, Diaochan was so beautiful the moon would shy away when being compared to her. Xi Shi on the other hand, was believed to be so beautiful that when fish would see her as they swam by, they would forget how to swim and sink to the bottom of whatever body of water they were swimming in. (Beauty can really kill huh?) Out of the four most beautiful women in ancient China, she was considered to be the first.

Her Background and Biography

Xi Shi was born in 506 BC on the nineteenth of July in China’s Zhejiang Province in a small village called Xi Cun, or “West Village.” Because a lot of people that lived there had “Shi” as a last name, and because she was born in the west, she was referred to as Xi Shi. She was born into a pretty ordinary household. Her father sold firewood for a living and her mother did silkwork. Ever since she was little, she would go out to this river to wash the silk that her mother had made. She lived during the Spring and Autumn Period, and within that time, China wasn’t a “whole country,” it was made up of several kingdoms fighting against each other. Xi Shi is from the state of Yue, which had been vanquished by the state of Wu. After that the Emperor of Yue, Gou Jian, was forced to serve the Emperor of Wu, Fu Chai, for three years. Gou Jian then thought of a plan to defeat the Wu State and take power back. He knew that the Fu Chai was a sucker for pretty women, and he also knew that if Fu Chai was surrounded with beautiful women, he would be too distracted to work for his state. But for this plan to work, Gou Jian needed to find a woman that had stunning beauty that was willing to sacrifice herself for the better of the country. Gou Jian found Xi Shi and he picked her. He then asked his minister, Fan Li, to take Xi Shi to Fu Chai as a tribute gift from Yue. On the way however, she fell in love with him, as he was wise and kind. He reciprocated her feelings in turn. Now, they could have escaped this plan and thwarted it but they were both loyal to their country. So, they made a pledge of their undying love for one another in secret. When she was brought before Fu Chai, he was indeed entranced by her, spending more and more time with her, neglecting his duties. After some time, he realized that he should not have been bewitched by her, as the Yue Stare had become more powerful due to his neglectful behavior. Gou Jian had invaded the state of Wu and forced Fu Chai to commit suicide. When this happened, Xi Shi’s mission was complete. The ending that I choose to believe is that she reunited with Fan Li and she lived on with him after he quit his job as a minister. The other ending is really grim...

Her Class and Quality

Xi Shi could definitely be a scholar, an AOE especially. I can imagine that she could do something similar to that of Diaochan, despite her being a medic. She could impact the opposing formations’ abilities to put damage on the formation shes defending using a debuff, much like Daji can do. I can see her being a Defense Hero and possibly having strength in Control for all these reasons, as well as real history, helping her state in the face of despair. She could be considered as a fabled hero, but could also be an epic hero considering the bloat of the fabled class making up mostly half of the hero cast as a whole.

Her Possible Abilities

Chant of Heroism

She can attack anywhere from 4 to 8 times descending on CRIT, dealing 60%+164 DMG to a random front enemy with each hit, lasting one round. Until three layers are tagged, the enemy will lose anywhere from 15 to 25 HP, decreasing DEF by 4%.

Promising Honor

50:50 chance of tagging a back or front target. Allies then force attention to the front if the tag is in the back, dealing 5% more damage. This tag cannot be dispelled for two rounds.

Her Preferred Gems and Treasure

Gems: DEF, ATK, ACC

Treasure: Primarily something with a DEF bonus, so the lamps, each one activating her Destiny ability. However, any other treasure that offers an ATK or RES bonus is also good.

Her Occupation

I can imagine her working in the Ministry of Defense as a General, much like Wen Ruyan. For her other occupation, she could be a poet of some kind, probably a primary or mid poet, something like that, or she could be a primary chess sage.

Hero Compatibility

She could work with other scholars that can do some damage, namely Song Yu and Ying Zheng. She could also work with medics depending on their skill set. Diaochan would be a prime choice.

~~~~

The guy on the right is Wei Jie.

Look at that cat! (´⊙ω⊙`) But for real, this poor guy. He reminds me of the “gentle giant” archetype. Not just because of his looks, no, he’s actually ill with some kind of disease. (I have a head canon that it’s AIDS/HIV, but I don’t have a lot of evidence to support that right now. All I know is that his immune system is very weak to infection and he has respiratory problems and it’s just that he’s very weak overall...) Despite his health however, he’s actually compared to Jade, being like a jade doll. Jade is very valuable in China and is considered to be a very precious stone, especially in the eyes of aristocrats and royalty. Out of the four most handsome men in ancient China, he was considered as the fourth.

His Background and Biography

(I had to use multiple resources for this, I couldn’t find a lot of information on him, so I had to get creative. Sorry!)

Wei Jie, like Pan’An, also lived during the Xi Jin (Western Jin) Dynasty. He was born into a very wealthy household, and was recognized for his beauty alone at the age of five. His uncle, who also had extraordinary good looks, said that walking with his nephew was like “having a gleaming pearl at my side.” He had fans from far and wide, causing chaos and the forming of something along the lines of a twisted harem to form under his shadow. When Wei Jie grew up, this only got worse. Hoards of women would literally block the streets and chase after him because they all wanted him so badly, which this caused a lot of backlash onto his family. Because his family was aristocratic, they had to keep a sensible reputation. People were jealous of the Wei family because of the immense wealth and beauty that they all possessed. Luckily, Wei Jie couldn’t go out that often, as he doesn’t have a strong body, and has been ill since his infancy. He wasn’t allowed to go out during his childhood because of the fear that whatever ailment he had could spread. Because of this belief and the immense jealousy that others had, most of his family, with the exception of his father, fifth uncle, and cousin, were all murdered quite brutally. This lead him to be the young master of the Wei Manor. This pattern of not going out a lot and things continued on for some time. He would go out on occasion if he really needed something, and he didn’t necessarily like all the attention he brought to himself unknowingly. He grew easily overwhelmed by it and constantly sought to get away from the large groups of people that swarmed him. This anxiety and stress of attention exhausted him, and he actually passed from all that exhaustion. He was “watched to death,” as people said. Poor guy... he just wanted to be alone... let us introverts be!

His Class and Quality

Oh, he’s a medic, for sure. I know also that he was an imperial physician in the game I found him from, but he only worked on commission, if that makes sense, like if people actually wanted to be treated by him. He would kind of be like a better version of Shizhen. Very agile and quick, but also the more you get to him, his attack rate can slowly increase. I can see him being some kind of control hero. Back Support too, that would make sense. So control + support. He would be in Fabled Class, definitely. Props to him!

His Possible Abilities

Jade Solstice

Chanting a medical spell from his calabash gourd, he can stun a front line enemy for one round, lowering 20 rage. If a critical is achieved, they will turn chaotic and attack other members of their formation for one round, taking away 15% of the enemies overall DEF and then giving it to his other formation members.

Internal Grace

Shielding himself using the gourd’s energy, he gains 10% RES. Any rage prompted attack he makes will grant him 2% more ATK bonus points for one round, increasing the formation’s overall CRIT by 10%. This can be layered twice and cannot be dispelled or immune to.

His Preferred Gems and Treasure

Gems: HP, CRIT, ATK

Treasure: To increase damage while keeping DEF, use the stamps. However, any CRIT or ATK bonus treasure is good too, just as long as it buffs his accuracy as well!

His Occupation

This is where it got tricky. I would assume he would work alongside Pan’An in the Ministry of Rites where they would compose poems together. It’s just that since he can’t actually go out too much that’s where it gets a little complicated. He could probably act as some kind of moderator or something along those lines, something where he wouldn’t have to deal with people that much.

Hero Compatibility

He would need strong tanks to help him out. Prince Gao, Prince Jing, or even Xiang Yu would be good for him. He would also want heroes that would boost his abilities even more, gotta have that support, you know? Wu Zetian, Yuhuan, or Pan’An would be good choices.

~~~~

Now for the final part...

✨Connections✨

Xi Shi

I think they’re’s already a connection that has Zhaojun, Diaochan, and Yuhuan in it. I would take that and add Xi Shi into the connection, but also bring her attributes to the table, in summary. What I mean by that is take her attributes and summarize them into one. So her strongest asset would be the fact that she could be an AOE with a control bonus. She could add ACC and DEF to the table to help with your formation if activated.

Wei Jie

Just like the ladies, I know there’s already a connection with Pan’An, Song Yu, and Prince Gao in it. Same deal, take it, put him in it, and add his summarized ability. He could be a Medic with strength in CRIT. So, he could bring CRIT to the table, obviously, as well as extra ATK buffs if activated.

~~~~

To conclude, *coughs as if to clear throat* Xi Shi, Wei Jie. We need to add them. The quartets aren’t filled up yet. Wouldn’t it be a surprise for them to finally come together in gorgeous matrimony as the queens they are? All heroes are queens. Plain and simple, not matter how awful their skill sets may be at times. (We see you, Shizhen. You matter, even though his skill set isn’t the best he’s still kinda great 😅)

[thecrenellations]

Return of the Thief Notes, Part Three: The Book of Pheris, Volume 2, Chapters 6-14 and “Alyta’s Missing Earring”

Notes from my first read, October 2020. (Part One | Part Two | TaT)

Contents:  Elephants, guesses about gods and dead men, villain team up, the unexpected, AAAAAAH, elaboration on the word cloud above (which is one big Gen, medium Pheris, medium love, and scattered other names), and more quantitative analysis! I love this book.

Format:  Page number. My thoughts (Context?)

Chapter 6

285. unkingly moment, last night with her at home

MISMATCHED STOCKINGS (I have a thing about this.)

Wedges of ribbons?

285. cute

286. a pitneen? A drunk bird?

Wait. Gift of animals??? Did he steal the thunderbolts wearing it?

A canary no longer

287. Hilarion and Ion, wow

Throw a cup of wine on me

288. War pants! War pants!

What’s Attolia wearing?

Sophos! (the whistling!)

288. Ok fine it’s gonna be sad ... I say as if I didn’t just experience the trial (the last lighthearted moment)

Pepper!

Be careful Pheris

Also Relius went to Dite and Juridius, right? (I was convinced Dite would show up)

Sinerine!

290. SOCKS! Yay <3 magus

I was resigned to not much magus but he is HERE!

He’s … so much nicer than he was to the kids in the Thief, lol

A CART!

Lamb, falling in same paragraph. Worried.

Gen :( Gen you ran all over the palace and leapt in the water last night. You are so stupid.

292. Yay Sophos I love you

Math buddies!

294. I’M SAD.

They have had this convo before

I love them

It’s because I can that I think I should

295. Do not overreach. Eddis is right

Danger in self indulgence?

I love her! “I was outside chasing your brother with a stick”

296. My heart. You have to trust yourself. I don’t know if I can. Then you have to trust us.

Tactical Irene!

Thanks I’m gonna hold on to it: “The Call of life is a s powerful as the call of death, and it is no weakness to answer to it”

297. Oh no. My children. Tell each other things like that!

Great time to be childish, Gen.

Yeah honestly. It’s bothered her FOREVER

299. Pull it together, kids!

Thx Helen

Inkpots … :( :( :(

Chapter 7

302. See … that Continent occupation isn’t good either!

303. Unfortunately that is NOT an alternative. Bc volcano.

305. This is stressful.

Chloe, interesting

306. Elephants

Oh my god it’s better than I ever could have imagined (there was like 10 years of lead up to the elephants, and I thoroughly enjoyed them)

I love him

Gen wtf

Yes drink up those guards (“We could keep [an elephant] in the guard’s bathhouse! There’s plenty of room.” “And the guards will bathe ...?” “In the palace reservoir.” “Our drinking water.”)

#6 Gen about elephants

308. This is gonna be a disaster

Hilarion with an eyeglass

Fuck Pheris is making this up.

Gen I love you

Oh my god

Honestly idk if Gen is having fun but I AM

They’re. They’re such a power couple.

Also Bu-seneth is so rude to Attolia

309. so vague about battle, but I’m sure it’s horrible

310. hero talk. Chills.

311. all the woman comparisons for Gen (“Would [a world with no war and no heroes be a bad thing?” “That’s a woman’s question”)

Wow. Interesting. Anonymity

312. Don’t listen to them Gen!

Bad tempered cooks

313. lol. Good looks.

Gen. the hand joke. Why

Well that was … a scene (I don’t know my Henry V)

Reassuring to have a glove. Which one?

314. No. Bad. This is what I was afraid of. (Nahuseresh baiting Gen with Kamet)

Ok Pheris

315. That cannot be true. (it was not!)

Gen. No. No.

316. Wow. That worked out well. So far.

They called him annux. If Kamet is really dead…

319. Yeah Attolia is RIGHT

Yeah I can’t actually either!

Irene knows. In his story!

320. Glove resolved very fast

Interesting reversal (Gen and his dad)

Maddening!

Chapter 8

322. who’s charging off in a haze of glory now

Philologos wounded

Wait, the attendants follow him in to battle...

Cleon RIP

Temenus <3

No. Stenides

If they ever returned.

His brother died in an explosion

Gen’s tears

This is sad.

323. lion lamb :(

325. At least they have each other

Morality is an illusion. Like safety?

326. that’s what Costis was mapping, right? (nope)

How many has Gen killed now

328. Who. Pol? Ambiades? (The cairn man question remains)

Oh no

Oh no. you can fall from a horse

HILARION!

Is Fordad a spy?

I am just not accepting this yet

WAIT THE MEDES TOOK HIM! (I thought the Attolians had taken Gen, or Gen’s body, at first.)

330. wow things only Pheris can do

GDI Erondites

WOW THIS IS A VILLAIN TEAM UP

332. You gave it to him dude (Nahuseresh asking “Why does he still have this?” about Gen’s hook)

I love Gen. I wonder if he’s afraid.

This is bad.

Whose treason, whose betrayal?

333. Yeah! Kamet said so (“Tell me again that you are king.” “Annux, if you prefer.”)

334. Oh god.

Get your stories straight bastards

Rolled in a rug!

336. Oh gen

Oh god

Yeah this is …

Be careful what you ask for

338. What did he sign as, though, Attolis? Eugenides?

Nomenus wtf

What does mwt have against facial hair (Fordad, Nahuseresh)

Costis please come (idk how I thought he was going to help, but I was in Costis Denial and expected him to show up at any moment)

Everyone must be going through a lot

A face like an open grave

Gen.

Gen I love you

YES

YES

Is he … invulnerable now?

Gen what.

Is he possessed? Is he already a god?

341. Yeah same. (“I think he meant that I should not fear him, either. I did, though ... I still followed him”)

This isn’t being self indulgent or overreaching, is it?

342. RIP Ion Nomenus

“My work”

Oh Nomenus

Does he just exist for the morally gray and loyal angst feelings? It works (...)

344. What did he DO

Yes! Swearing Gen!

345. love all caps Gen

Those names

Aaah

346. Ooof.

Chapter 9

347. moon promises

Yeah

Noooo Philologos :(

Legarus … :(

349. Gen what what

Sparks

Costis? Stenides? STENIDES?

Wow ok he killed Bu-seneth

350. god

See I said Nahuseresh shouldn’t have said that

Also is Gen a bastard

351. WHAT (“Because your council had just voted to kill him”)

Oh Helen

Oh Irene

Does he invite him in?

This is reassuring to the reader (“He can bear his god a little while without losing himself”)

Aaaaah Galen

354. Gen that’s a lot. A lot.

Don’t kill everyone.

So so so x7 of doom

Bye Yorn

I hope he wins too

Go away Nahuseresh

Omg

another fall

Interregnum

Ok it was Lader (when you don’t know who the man at the cairn was, keep on guessing!)

Yeah the circumstances thing is back

Oh god

Oh no

Chapter 10

361. how long has it been?

362. three days

I love them (Elephants! My excellent queen!)

You promised to trust him

364. Oh no. Oh no. (Relius)

370. These Helen convos…

371. Sad. :(

372. Emtis and Lader

Yeah.

Omg

374. Wow

Steal by elephant?

377. Don’t forget about Dite!

378. He’s gonna kill him?

379. Is Dite dead too?

Oh Sejanus

Oh I see

He’s got a mercy taste too

380. Switching!

Lying in moonlight. Hm.

381. Yesss

Nooooo

383. I’m nervous

Gods blessing on your road

Wow. <3

They would have fallen… (if Pheris had gone through with his plan, that’s how they both would have died)

Did not expect Sejanus feelings in Rott.

Chapter 11

386. He’s gonna know. But the trust.

Ion knows.

390. Gen…

Pheris is Lyopidus?

I’m scared

393. I kind of love Ion

More Sejanus, bring it on

I’m nervous

Hmmm… who could it be

395. MoW :( <3 I will not be ok if he dies too

Gen knows the way bc Costis (nope)

Oh my god these two (“I lied” “I know”)

Chapter 12

398. Oh no.

This is not

Her Thief

Irene. “only sleeping” this is what Eddis said to her

But mist… water???

Face touch

402. not living or dead. King

Yes. But no.

403. crying at everything and the MoW next to him

There he went

It was the Eddisians. He fought with them.

404. yeah that’s a lot to deal with, Pheris

405. what a mystery man (Sejanus)

Lol mysterious exit averted

Excuse me that was a difference

406. :(

Am I king

407. Helen is once again right. She’s also always right

MOIRA was Melisande???!??!? (who even knows)

409. ?? Irene?

Same as for Dite. Man loves his brothers. (nephews. you know what I mean.)

Nice.

AAH yup. Add it to the list (“How neatly you tie them together” ... the list of is ways Gen and Irene are becoming more like each other)

410. speaking of which where is Costis!

Hm… what god was that

I love their reactions

411. SPLENDID.

Oh Irene. It’s true <3

It’s so true (“When the king gives his heart he gives it completely”)

Now I’m crying again, at them

412. Gen, she has a point.

Amazing. I … I don’t think she meant to ask like THAT

Jesus, Gen.

You do not know a wagon from a wheelbarrow

413. Irene!

She’d better get home safe.

Gen!

Omg

414. I have another bad feeling, about Gen

415. High king or queen though?

Magus <3

Chapter 13

416. “of course”

That’s ominous

417. No! Sejanus!

A gut wound yikes

418. sadness

419. lol “ill will”

We’re in Roa. My heart’s pounding.

422. I love Gen.

YESSS

Yes I love them.

Sheep.

Kamet!!!

?!?

Costis. Mattresses exist.

424. Oh no.

426. roof dream

Good roof dream

Good job Helen

428. TWINS. Everyone was RIGHT

Reyatimi

Oh shit. The sky.

Oh dear. :( aaah

430. Climbing the rigging!

“it’s just that you have so many least favorite things”

431. I love them (Gen and Irene)

432. I love them (Gen and Helen)

433. RIGHT! I was thinking

I can’t <3 (they’re naming the baby after the MoW, and it’s perfect, and she’s not gonna tell us, huh)

OH MY GOD!!! (baby thief!)

WOW!

434. AAAAAAH (Hector! @threetoadswaltz​ finished reading before me and knew that I would explode about this and I DID, I threw my arms in the air! HECTOR!)

PERFECTION!

435. AAAAAAAAH (this was when it became clear they were going to dance on the roof)

Yes she was (as surefooted as the king)

Is this the first time she’s Irene

Yes.

I’m filled with happiness

Celia and Lavia again … lol.

Lol Chloe

THALIA

CRENELATED wall

HE’S ALIVE

Kamet is a sweetheart

The gods!!!

The gods!

Aracthus

Mystery goddess?

Ula?

Moira! Yes!

(I was very happy. The page itself:)

Alyta’s Missing Earring

Wait. Was it Alyta.

Glad we got a bi god (with all due respect to Immakuk and Ennikar, whose bi-ness and godliness is perhaps more up to the reader)

Got very bi very fast

Also. He’s Gen.

Interesting difference in story

Kathodicia!

Are we literally getting ALL the answers? (No. But so many more than I expected!)

Gen’s grandfather sucks

An urn huh

Omg. Heiro’s earrings?

Oh my gosh.

Same, Gen. Same.

Obvs Phresine knows.

Is Phresine a goddess?

Same, Gen. Same.

She got to tell a story! She is so happy!

I think he’s a little scared

Moleskin

Yeah peace huh

This series is socially sanctioned silliness

1000 Eugenides. Wow.

They did melt though

Little thief.

<3 <3 <3

He’s a character in a story

A big question

Tamarisk? Takima? (We are not getting all the answers.)

That’s it! Thank you for reading - it feels very self-indulgent to type up all of these, but I will honestly take most chances to relive the intense and wonderful experience of reading this book for the first time, which often means looking back at my own notes and sometimes means sharing them with people. Also, I really love reading liveblogs/real-time book thoughts, so here is one from awhile ago ... all at once.

Anyway, check out this word cloud from all of the notes (made with this site):

It’s ... mostly just character names, with a variety of words that express my enthusiasm and feeling (love, lol, wow, yes, excuse me...). Gen is the biggest because I said his name 115 times! Here are some totals for the other characters who came up a lot:

115 - Gen (and 10 Eugenides)

42 - Pheris

26 - Costis

18 - Irene (and 6 Attolia)

16 - Helen (and 8 Eddis)

10 - Sophos (and 4 Sounis)

12 - the magus

11- Kamet

11 - Teleus

10 - Relius

9 - Ion

6 - MoW

6 - Moira

5 - Sejanus

These don’t fully represent how much I had to say about them, because I didn’t always refer to people by name or title ... which kind of explains why Costis’s total is ridiculously high compared to how much he is in the book -  I likely have more notes about other characters, but I didn’t need to bring up their names because they were already present in the scenes I was taking notes on (for example, I think I talked about Relius more than Teleus, the magus, or Kamet, but many of those just referred to him as he, because it was obvious to me who I meant). But also I was just looking for Costis! Anyway. My use of names and titles for the monarchs also really illustrates how much this book reshaped the way I think of these characters’ relationship to them, Gen’s and Irene’s especially.

It’s representative of my feelings about this series that I wrote “I love them” about so many combinations of characters. Who, exactly? And how many times? Well...

5 - Gen and Irene

4 - Gen and Helen

2 - Gen and Pheris

1 - Gen, Irene, Helen, and Sophos

1 - Helen and Sophos

1 - Costis and Kamet

1 - unknown combo of Gen, Pheris, and Relius on p.166, I love them all and can’t remember. Kamet’s map was there, too, and I do love Kamet, so maybe he was in there too.

no matter what the numbers say, I love them all endlessly, and I love this book.

be blessed in your endeavors, yes I will take any questions about these notebook screams, etc.

[mcfiddlestan]

Had this awesome weekend away from home and the responsibilities I have that come with taking care of my elderly and sick parents and my five year old nephew. I went to the beach for like an hour but it was awesome. Had lobster ravioli that was perfection. And spent time with friends I hadn’t seen in like two years bc of Covid and them living 300mi away.

Got home yesterday in the late afternoon. It’s been like 30 hours and I’m already stressed. I’ve already gotten into a spat with my brother bc he’s a misogynistic asshat who never takes my word for anything — and can’t even see how he’s wrong in that scenario. And it happened at the dinner table, where the whole family is sitting. And the only one who’s got my back is my sister. My parents just sat there. And let my brother talk to me like I’m nothing more than a glorified babysitter (which in his eyes, I am). I shouldn’t be surprised or upset. My mother is stuck in her 1950s image of how women, married or single, should behave in a household. Meaning: I should be responsible for all the cleaning and caring of the one child in the house WHO IS NOT MINE. And I should always defer to my brother bc it’s his house and all that bullshit. And my dad just doesn’t give a fuck about me. Never has, never will. And frankly IDGAF about him either. He’s only getting care from me bc my mom is here.

Idk why I’m putting all of this out here. I’ll probably delete it later. I’m just so angry and depressed and anxious. I’m emotional eating again (I just ate three fruit roll ups and two bags of cheez-its) and even tho I’m tired I probably won’t sleep.

I just…I hate the situation I’m in. But I can’t change it and I can’t fix it. And the truth is a part of me doesn’t want it to change bc the only thing that would allow me to leave my brother’s house at this point is the death of both of my parents. Logically I’m very aware there are less days ahead of us than behind us, and yeah I don’t really care about my dad, but still….I don’t know how i’m going to deal with the inevitable.

This is word vomit at this point. So if you read this far, bless your heart and thanks for listening to my rambling.

xoxo

[neverdoingmuch]

I just really love Two Person Love Triangles and Identity Porn. So, maybe a You've Got Mail AU? Or a superhero AU when one of them falls for both the masked hero and the secret identity?

because i love both of these aus i’ve written both!! but they’re pretty long bc i wouldn’t be me if i didn’t plot out an entire fic so the superhero au is here. 

as for the you’ve got mail au, i went off and watched the movie for the first time and i am delighted by your taste anon,,, the au works so well!! 

(okay for some reason tumblr won’t let me indent my bullets so idk how to fix that so big rip)

so we have lan & sons books, a company that prides itself on providing cheap books for everyone to read. think less evil corporation and more we wanted to provide easily accessible books for all people and ended up getting really rich off it

mr lan dadman was meant to be in charge but he ran off and lqr stepped up until lxc was old enough to take over and now lqr just kinda assists lxc when he needs help and does some other work

lqr is definitely the old guy who had a letter thing with this one woman who was enchanting but instead he was chatting to cssr and she was shameless 

anyway lwj works as *random high up job that joe fox has* and his best work friend (and real friend) is jin zixuan

jin zixuan is the heir to some coffee franchise and the two families have a deal which is why you have the cafe inside the bookstores

we gonna give lwj some friends

as for wwx, his mother owned a bookstore, the burial mounds (why did she name it that?? idk she probably told bssr that she wanted to call it that as a joke and bssr tried to call her bluff so she ended up having to call it that a la suibian)

anyway he grew up with his mother and grandmother and they left the store to him (idk what happened to them?? maybe they just retired and are now travelling the world while wwx gets to have the bookstore)

now for the actual plot!!

lwj and wwx met on omegle an instant messaging site and now exchange emails. wwx goes by yiling patriarch and lwj goes by hanguang-jun bc we want that flavour

so they’ve been emailing for years and they never share any personal information - wwx knows that hgj has a pet rabbit but not hgj’s name or his job

as for the significant others?? idk let’s pretend they don’t exist. 

wwx’s best friend nhs, who writes a column for so-and-so, always just comes over to his place and now he’s semi moved in and wwx isnt really sure why he’s here but he is. 

lwj just vibes bc i can’t see him putting up with a patricia unless his uncle  forced him to. even then he’d probably just be ~mysteriously~ gone while she’s home

maybe he has a really annoying pa who thinks its his job to come over and like make him breakfast. it’s su she,, it has to be

so wwx goes into work one morning and wen ning is waiting outside as he always is, ready for him to open and then like ten minutes later wen qing comes in and lastly granny wen comes in

why do they work together?? idk?? granny wen and bssr were close and so the wens and wwx kinda grew up as siblings? yeah i like that let’s go with that

so when cssr decided to go travelling wwx gets left with her store and he kinda knows how to run it but also he doesn’t have enough staff so he ends up hiring the wens (except granny who’s mostly there just to hang out with her family)

bonus: a-yuan always come to the shop after school and wwx gets to recreate the childhood he had with his mother with a-yuan. when the store closes wwx and a-yuan just twirl and twirl until they get too dizzy to stand up and then they lay on the floor and discuss their favourite book they’ve read this week. it’s very sweet

okay so the next day lwj gets to babysit his cousin/uncle/nephew/idk-how-they’re-related-person lan jingyi who is like eight or something?

they go out and hang at a festival and lwj does not buy him a goldfish bc i was very stressed by the way they treated the goldfish in the movie but he does get him balloons and a stuffed toy and plays all the games with him

eventually they’re walking back and see that the small bookstore near the new lan bookstore is hosting a story time so they go inside 

lwj walks in and he’s immediately taken by the atmosphere of the store bc that place was absolutely beautiful and then he hears this voice and follows it around to the back of the store to see the most gorgeous man he’s ever seen in his life sitting on a kinda too small chair with a princess hat? cone? thing on top of his head

he’d planned to stay for like one story and then take jingyi home but he ends up staying for the entire book and it’s definitely not because the guy reading the book smiled at him once or twice

after the story time ends, lwj is reluctant to leave so he ends up letting jingyi pick a bunch of books and looks at a few fancy first edition books with wen qing

and maybe his mother used to love collecting books - the old ones with the yellowed pages and beautiful pictures - and that’s why lwj helps out with his family business,, bc he wants everyone to be able to have books like that (never mind that all their books are like mass produced and lack any sentimentality & the staff dont actually care about the books)

anyway he sees wwx help jingyi pick out books and lets him borrow his handkerchief when he sneezes and lwj’s like oh nooo he’s good with kids too so now he has to talk to him 

so he goes up to buy the books and wwx’s telling jingyi about how much he likes daisies and lwj just blurts out “can i ask what your name is?” and wwx blinks but then smiles and is like i’m wei wuxian, but you can call me wei ying, and i own this store. what about you? and lwj is like wangji, you can call me wangji

wen qing takes one look at lwj and the way he’s staring at wwx and goes you’re going to come back aren’t you and lwj is trying so hard not to just run away so he just ignores her but then she mentions something about lan books and he’s Panicking and jingyi almost says that he’s a lan and lwj just kinda guides him over to a table and then goes back to flirt talk with wwx

anyway wwx ends up going on this big tangent about books and what they mean to people and the whole when you read a book as a child it becomes a part of your identity and who you’re going to become the way nothing else does (and lwj remembers his mother and her books) and then he apologises for going on and lwj is mentally going marry me, but he ends up calling wwx and his mother shameless

but it’s okay!! wwx & cssr are proud of it!

and then yada yada lwj buys the kinda expensive books and ends up awkwardly shepherding jingyi out of the store 

cut to the next day when the lan book store opens properly and lwj ends up telling lqr about how he met wwx and lqr is like >:/ the son of that shameless woman,, how terrible,, it’s okay he won’t be a problem for long bc they’ll be driven out of business. which isn’t the response lwj wanted but lxc seems supportive enough if a bit concerned about how it would work with them as business enemies 

business is already bad for wwx and it’s barely been a week since the lan store opened and he’s pretty bummed out but hopeful that maybe it’s a fluke

then nhs invites him to some fancy dinner with him bc wei-xiong they’re all so boring and smart and have opinions, please don’t make me have opinions so wwx gets dragged along

he ends up talking to lwj at the bar bc how could he not talk to the man who’s standing in front of all that fancy alcohol and getting some fruit juice. (he’d get water but lwj has had to put up with su she all evening so he needs something stronger)

anyway they chat and it’s pleasant but then after wwx gets approached by someone who’s like wow im surprised you’re talking to lan wangji and wwx is like lan?!

cue their passive aggressive argument around the food table complete with caviar and a turkey knife. 

now bc it’s lan wangji,, instead of making scathing comebacks he just makes like factual and to-the-point statements that end up being really bitchy (or does he intend them to be that way? it’s a mix of both of them tbh but in this case he’s definitely being bitchy on purpose) and wwx is spluttering bc that boy does not stand up well against hot and mad people

nhs ends up coming over and defusing the situation but wwx makes a point of stealing the rest of the caviar off lwj’s plate before leaving 

lwj ends up ducking out early as well to avoid su she and emails wwx that night at like 9:45 bc the guilt of being so rude kept him up late and yllz is like oh no that’s so sad ): but impressive! i wish i could zing people,, my brain just turns off the second i need to make a comeback

creative liberties,, wwx is good at teasing but not being genuinely mean? lets go with that

anyway now we get the delightful montage of wwx hiding behind cheese displays and lwj walking out of coffee stores with a newspaper covering his face as they try to avoid each other

when wwx gets in the wrong line at the supermarket lwj comes over and kinda glares the checkout woman into submission and gets her to let wwx use his card which wwx is really conflicted about bc why would he help me?? and once again angry lwj = hot lwj

a few weeks later wwx ends up asking hgj for help bc business isn’t getting any better but refuses to give any details and i refuse to have lwj watch the godfather so lwj just straight up messages him and is like tear that bitch apart

and so wwx decides to tear that bitch apart and asks nhs for help. nhs, fan of the arts and small businesses and local culture, is 100% down for it and writes a scathing article about lan books and how they’re destroying all the aforementioned things nhs cares about

it ends up getting a lot of traction and people show up to protest and wwx even goes on television

lwj ends up seeing the news coverage on the matter while he’s at the gym with jzx

jzx is 100% the guy who goes to the gym just to apathetically walk on the treadmill while lwj jogs

he sees the interview with wwx and lwj is like he’s not this nice in real life and jzx is like you met him?? and lwj is like mn. then jzx is like i bet he’s not as hot and lwj is completely silent but his ears are bright red and that’s how jzx knows that wwx is just that hot

also?? lwj goes on tv and says like three words and he’s kinda annoyed how the news decided to spin that but he also said like three words so what did he expect?

but, despite all the publicity, sales don’t get any better so wwx is like fine can we meet in person and lwj is like sure

he brings jzx along bc he doesn’t know the way there, it’s not because he’s nervous and kind of in love with yllz, it’s because he doesn’t know how to get to the cafe. (it’s two blocks from his apartment)

anyway jzx is like oof man it’s seems like yllz is wwx but he is that hot so not all is lost and lwj is like yikes no not happening im not going in but he also feels bad about standing wwx up so he ends up going in and sitting down in front of wwx

and lwj is like wei wuxian, all this publicity will do nothing to save your business and wwx is like lan wangji who do you think you are (or however that scene goes) but instead of lwj being asked to leave wwx decides he’s not gonna chicken out first so they end up spending like two hours having the most aggressive cup of coffee and chat he’s ever had

lwj is exhausted but he also refuses to give up

but then wwx spits something about how lwj is some cold, heartless suit who doesn’t actually care about or appreciate books so how can he possibly dare to think that he’s better than wwx and that hurts bc lwj had thought that he’d been doing exactly that so he leaves

anyway the next morning wwx is moping around the bookstore bc he didn’t get stood up, he swears. am i not cute enough he moans to wen qing and she’s like your hgj doesn’t know what you look like. but what about my personality? is that cute enough? and wen qing eventually manages to grit out that yes it is cute enough

wen ning comes in and is like are you okay? you got stood up? that’s good! your date might have been the rooftop killer xue yang! he got caught last night! and wwx is like i wish, i just got stood up like a chump

so they ignore each other for a few weeks bc wwx is very hurt and lwj doesn’t know what he’s going to say but wwx ends up caving and emails hgj about how guilty he feels and how even though wwx probably means nothing to lwj, he’s worried that maybe he did hurt lwj and also please hgj i still want to talk to you

now hgj never says a lot, he’s always really succinct and direct but this time he takes the time to write a proper apology. it’s not an explanation bc he doesn’t want to give this up, even if the yllz he thinks he loves is the wwx that he hates, but it is an apology

the next day wwx goes to lunch with granny wen and finally dares to ask her whether it would be okay to shut the store down. he doesn’t want, of course he doesn’t want to, but he doesn’t think he can afford to keep it open. granny just tells him that it’s okay and that if the time has come, the time has come

we don’t have to worry about wwx breaking up with anyone, so he just goes home and asks nhs if he can have some space and nhs quickly packs his stuff and goes home. as he stands in the doorway with his last box of stuff he tells wwx that he’s sorry and wishes he could help more and wwx sends him this tremulous smile but manages to hold it together until nhs leaves and then he cries and cries 

the next day he goes back to work and tries to stay bubbly and cheery even as he sees all of his shelves slowly being emptied and people who haven’t stepped foot in his store in six months are telling him what a shame it is and how they wish it didnt have to come to this and wwx is internally screaming

he manages to stave off any actual screaming but when he closes up that day he ends up going to the children’s section of lan bookstore and just as he had thought, none of the staff care about the books, none of them know any books and he ends up recommending a series to some young mother

lwj, who’d spotted wwx and come over to see if whether he was here to pick a fight, comes to the awful realisation that maybe wwx is right about his store lacking heart

he goes home that night and su she tags along even though lwj just wants space and the elevator breaks. he’s sitting there on the ground listening to his neighbour talk about reconnecting with family and the elevator button pressing dude talks about getting engaged and su she is just there whining about his job and the inconvenience and lwj goes fuck this. when the elevator starts working again he grabs his rabbit and goes back down to the ground floor, ignores su she’s shouts, and goes back to his childhood home

wwx gets stuck closing his store down. he looks around at the shelves and tables he’d grown up with and sees his childhood and a-yuan’s and countless moments he’s had with people he’s loved and realises he’s going to lose it all forever. he grabs the bell, the last thing he has left of the store and closes up for the very last time

in the meantime, lwj is living the high life. he hangs out with his bunny, gets to read pride and prejudice for fun and actually manages to get all the way through it and then his brother comes to visit

apparently he’d broken up with jgy bc he was gold digger-esque and had decided to run off with someone richer and lwj is like oh thats so sad ): anyway nmj is right there and he fills your heart with joy and lxc is like have you ever had someone like that? and lwj immediately thinks of wwx and is like fuck

his first order of business is to buy wwx’s shop bc it broke my heart that she didn’t get it back in the og movie and he starts filling it with books again. he buys ten copies of his mother’s favourite books and places them on the shelf by the door and then he sees a book that reminds him of jingyi so gets some of them and he sees a book covered in daisies and thinks of wwx. and slowly, slowly he’s building up his own library, his own store, and this time every single book means something and for once lwj looks out across the floor with pride and satisfaction

his second order of business is to apologise to wwx for being a dick. he buys some daisies and goes to his place and comes in and cooks soup for wwx. lwj apologises and tells him it wasn’t personal and wwx is like that’s not true, it was personal to me and it’s personal to a lot of people and lwj understands that now. he remembers the way he’d filled wwx’s store and left his own touch and bared his heart through each of those books and he understands. he doesn’t actually say this and just tells wwx that he wants to be friends 

lwj considers coming clean about being hgj but he knows now that he definitely loves wwx and knows that wwx currently hates him but damn is it hard not to say anything when wwx is telling him how much he loves hgj

anyway he’s like organise a meeting again with hgj 

i’d say it’s ooc for lwj not to come clean but this is the man who pined for x decades and just didnt tell wwx that his son was alive so like not ooc at all

so lwj decides he’s going to woo wwx as best as he can and organises to meet up with yllz and then goes and meets with wwx and they end up going to hang out and for some strange reason, even though wwx keeps getting stood up, he doesn’t seem to care too much. he keeps agreeing to meet hgj and when he doesn’t show is more than happy to spend the rest of his day with lwj

and slowly, they start to get closer. wwx takes a sip of lwj’s coffee and lwj buys him daisies. wwx brings him an interesting book and lwj tells him about his mother. they chat freely about hgj and lwj is happy for the first time in a long time

eventually lwj organises the final meeting. wwx is really confused about the place he picked but he’s hopeful that maybe this time hgj will show. after wwx and lwj’s farmers market date ends, lwj ends up asking wwx if he could love lwj and wwx is like you put me in such an uncomfortable situation. ie stammering and blushing and eventually going oh no ill be late and running off

anyway a couple hours later wwx finds himself standing outside his old bookstore and he refuses to look at it bc he doesn’t want to see what it’s become but then, through the open door of the store, a bunny hops out and over to wwx

lwj comes running out after it calling out its name (bichen?? flopsy?? rabbit?? one of them) and wwx looks up and is like oh,, it’s you, i’d hoped it was you and he’s all teary and lwj has a handkerchief that he’d embroidered himself (with gentians of course) and he’s like dont cry yllz and then they kiss and it’s beautiful

bonus: lwj takes wwx inside the store and shows him everything and explains the meaning behind every book that they’ve picked and then wwx does cry for real bc there is definitely an entire two walls dedicated just to wwx

do they open the store as a bookstore again and work together? does wwx end up writing books?? idk up to you. i like the idea that they open the store for story time and sell children’s books but lwj still works with lan & sons to get some heart in their stores and wwx works on his own books in his spare time

[a-very-fond-farewell]

The forbidden crack! Untamed prompts: 19/?

Wedding Planner AU [xicheng edition]: “Chickens on the Loose”

[let me have this]

Jiang Cheng doesn’t believe in love and that’s precisely the reason why he plans other people’s special day. The most extravagant, the boldest, the loudest, the better. Because if there’s something he got to accept over the years is that people aren’t willing to pay for something realistic, but for something unattainable instead. Over-compensating bland, ordinary reality with fantasy and dreams is his job and he’s well aware that no one can compete with his genius. Not with his father owning a catering and food chain company. Not with his mother being the most sought out wedding gown fashion designer on the market. They taught him everything there is to know on how to make other people’s dream come true before the inevitable envelope of a dainty, innocuous divorce application can make its way in a once happy household. Better make the satisfaction last, because Jiang Cheng will only accept advanced payments in cash, no monthly installments allowed.

His sister YanLi may have married honoring tradition over useless exaggeration, but what did her love bring aside from suffering and neglect? Marrying into the richest family in the country to the heir of a textile empire has given her nothing but sorrow and a husband too proud and distant to even visit her regularly. Jin Ling growing up without a father, spoiled rotten by the wrong side of the family who lured him into their shining world of nothingness day after day. At least Jiang Cheng’s family did rise from nothing and learned to trick the rich into relying on useless services soon enough. But Jin ZiXuan and his family had never worked once in their life and didn’t know how to take care of their loved ones. Not that Jiang Cheng’s parents could do any better, their marriage a wasteland where no love could grow, but at least they were honest about it. Better enjoy a dream while it lasts.

That is why if even Wei Ying’s marriage were to turn out to utter shit like YanLi’s, at least it will not be Jiang Cheng’s fault. Everything needs to be perfect, from the vows to the tea ceremony, from the food to the color scheme, from the seat arrangements to the music. Hell, some of his stepbrother’s requests may be too much to handle for most, but not for Jiang Cheng and if Wei Ying wants a parade and a whole week worth of celebrations, Wei Ying will have exactly that.

Hence he will not, under any circumstance, allow anyone snooping around as he plans the wedding of the century. No, not even the fiancée’s overprotective older brother asking people for blackmailing material on Wei Ying behind Jiang Cheng’s back. Not even if he pays him in nature, no ma’am.

... . ... . ... . ...

Lan Huan is the best divorce attorney in town precisely because he believes in unconditional love. That’s why he doesn’t see the point of two people (or three people, on one memorable case in Europe) spending the rest of their life together if change is inevitable and something to be expected. He would much prefer to get the best deal out of it for his clients and prevent children to suffer from it in the process.

Judges fear him and his diplomatic smile that can never hide his tunnel vision drive for victory. His trusty private investigator Nie HuaiSang is equally terrified by his assets, but still feeds him with the juiciest details whenever Lan Huan asks for favors, discreetly requesting the younger man to do background checks on this or that subject. Settlements may be nice, but not if the (soon to be ex) husband or wife in question can be easily found guilty of adultery, gaslighting, or even violence. Not on Lan Huan’s watch.

That’s why his world gets completely turned over the moment his younger brother Lan Zhan announces his intention to marry a man he hasn’t known for a full three months yet. Truth to be told, Lan Huan had never seen him this happy: glowing with something akin to adoration, affection dripping from every pore, love spilling all over just by mentioning one name, Wei Ying. In case this rascal happens to crush his precious baby brother’s heart, Lan Huan needs to find dirt on this man and squeeze everything he has out of his dead cold hands the second his brother files a request for a divorce.

But for some reason Nie HuaiSang cannot seem to be found for the job this time around. Not unlike most of his other contacts and informants, who have seemingly disappeared at the mention of his brother’s fiancee’s name. If this Wei Ying is such a big fish in the sea to make even Lan Huan’s most loyal colleagues dissolve into thin air, then he must find the answers by himself.

And if it means to bomb the wedding preparations to get shit done, oh he will. He’s not above flirting to get what he wants, but if this Wei Ying turns out to be a good person in the end... well. Lan Huan prays things won’t get too messy to proceed with the celebrations in the end. Hopefully, that is.

[fun stuff under the cut.]

NHS went to uni with Wei Ying and he knows LXC won’t find anything on him bc WWX himself is a blackmail master and will 100% diss you in front of your children calling you out on your deepest secrets so no. NHS will not mess with that and he urges to do as much to all LXC’s informants and sources.

JC looks scary but his staff loves how dedicated he is and they make bets on when he’s going to lose it and sleep with someone out of frustration. although they think he gets more turned on by going over every point in his check-lists at times...

LXC’s colleague always ask him if he’s dating anyone, clearly to set him up with someone (who will not be of LXC’s liking, he’s sure). to which he answers by smiling and lying saying he has a terrible personality. since nobody believes him, he asked his friend Meng Yao to make a scene at the firm once: (all too pleased to mess with his bestie’s reputation) Meng Yao murder-walked into the office and demanded to meet LXC, only to cry in front of everyone and smack him across the face for cheating on him. THEN his sister A-Su made her sudden appearance and smacked LXC’s other cheek lamenting the same, ridiculous thing. the two siblings gaped in fake horror at each other before spitting on LXC and storming off of the building.

NMJ laughed his ass off for weeks after the sharade. he started dating A-Su not long after (with both JGY and LXC’s blessings) bc he was mildly impressed by her willingness to jump on the opportunity to make a fool of both LXC and her brother at once. LXC thinks they are a good match, but he worries A-Su might be too tiny and full of undiluted mischief for NMJ to be able to handle her antics.

NMJ used to date LXC, but they were too driven and competitive to let their relationship get in the way and in the end they stopped seeing each other. they still care deeply for one another, but they love their jobs at the firm too much and making things messy at the office wasn’t worth it. A-Su knows about it and doesn’t feel left out because of it, glad that they settled into their respective lives while still being loyal friends to each other.

JGY tries to set LXC up with a new woman every week, saying he would benefit from having a cute wife taking care of him. but LXC doesn’t know what business JGY has to talk about women that way when Meng Yao’s been a raging homosexual since the first time he has landed his eyes on another boy in kindergarten. too many crushes on boys to even be aware of how many hearts he has broken in his life. all those pretty girls falling for his looks, poor kids. only JGY’s younger brother Mo XuanYu could rival his victim count, but barely so.

ZiXuan is secretly keeping an eye on his half-brothers and half-sister while he works as a representative for his family company and this is mainly the reason why he has distanced himself from YanLi and Jin Ling in these past few years. he would like to approach his three half-siblings and maybe have a chance to rekindle lost relationships, but by stressing over it he is losing sight of the found family he actually has. YanLi wants him to come around, eventually, but she knows how lonely ZiXuan has been with no siblings and how secretly jealous he is of the bond that she has with her family. so she won’t pressure her husband, but she feels lonely nonetheless.

the two wangxian lovebirds are too happy to notice the mess LXC is making and they don’t even realize he’s there until like, three days before the actual wedding.

LXC may be a shark but he’s not subtle. JC doesn’t know what he does for a living but he assumes he has too much time on his hands, hence not someone worthy of his time. but LXC always causes troubles on the venue or messes up with the flower arrangements or prods for information to the wrong people and JC is over it.

“if you don’t have anything better to do help me find the sommelier so I can ask him what’s wrong with him and if he studied anything at all” or “if you have so much time to waste be useful and learn how to make flower crowns for the children to play with” or “if you can sit on your ass all day at least look over my nephew while I go look for someone to emotionally bully to let off some steam.”

Jin Ling is five and even more bossy than his uncle and orders LXC around to be his pony when JC should babysit him at work. LXC discovers the boy is JGY and A-Su and Mo XuanYu’s nephew and that JC doesn’t what any of them to interact with Jin Ling. but LXC secretly lets them hang out with the boy when JC is too busy to notice.

JC and LXC get closer the more the latter understands that there’s not much dirt on Wei Ying (aside from some questionable pictures taken during a university party back in the days, but that’s beside the point). LXC appreciates how crafty and ingenious JC is, always helping others around instead of just shouting orders...even if his temper is atrocious at times.

JC forces LXC to take dance lessons with the lot of the main family members and LXC meets JC’s mother for the first time. she is competitive about her dancing skills and Wei Ying tries to win her over by asking her to show everybody how it’s done by leading her ex-husband in a tango. after publicly humiliating her ex-husband (and making him fall in love with her once more), she insists on practicing a waltz with LXC and basically threatens him to cut off his balls if he dares to lead JC on with his charms.

LXC realizes he’s been playing and flirting too much with the man for him not to notice, but JC seems oblivious. no. he’s completely oblivious and kind and beautiful as he dances with Jin Ling and twirls him around in delight. LXC played too hard and now he’s in too deep.

the only source of drama in this would be JC finding out LXC let Jin Ling hang out with his other uncles and aunt despite the warnings. JC was starting to trust the man... and LXC stabbed him in the back. he would have much preferred not to discover it from his nephew (who let it slip that LXC “told him not to speak of his uncles and aunt to Jiujiu”), because he would have given LXC a chance to explain himself otherwise. but no. JC cannot have good things apparently and now he’s heartbroken without even knowing why.

without the lucky charm that is JC (holed up in his flat eating junk food to forget the pain of being an afterthought in other people’s lives), everything goes to shit three days before the wedding: the chef quits, the tea set for the ceremony breaks, one of the maids has accidentally torn apart one set of wedding robes and so on.

the venue gets flooded with live chickens when a truck transporting them breaks down in front of the building and the chicken escape. Jin Ling is loving every second of it, but everything gets destroyed in the ruckus and JC’s hard work is ruined.

Wei Ying is heartbroken and Lan Zhan silently accuses LXC of being the cause of this and urges him to fix the mess unless he wants to receive the cold shoulder for the rest of his days. but LXC is a cowards and spends his time actually fixing the broken things or replacing them or finding seamstresses to help with the garments and so on himself. anything but facing JC and be rejected.

ZiXuan comes to his senses and blurts out that “he really just wanted to have a loving family” the moment JGY, A-Su and Mo XuanYu come check on LXC. they hug and cry and laugh and YanLi gently reminds them that this is not about them right now and that they should help with the preparations if they have so much time on their hands. her mother is very proud of her and nods appreciatively at ZiXuan’s shocked and weirdly intrigued expression after being humiliated so boldly in front of everyone. the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree indeed.

the day before the wedding Wei Ying threatens to call the wedding off if JC doesn’t show up for his big day: not because he’s the planner, but because Wei Ying wants him close on his happiest day and he will not have it any other way.

LXC goes to fetch JC in his apartment himself the night before the wedding and they yell and they make peace and then they make love and then they woke up late the next day and they have to rush to the venue.

Wei Ying is livid until JC appears and then they celebrate the wedding of the century. A week of celebrations later Lan Zhan deadpans that they actually got married already like, one month in after meeting each other, but Wei Ying wanted a big wedding and he didn’t want to deny his husband a single thing.

JC tries to strangle his brother as the last family picture is being taken.

give me an award already.

[milf-harrington]

i will never be mad at or blame my sister for the situation she has been forced into, but i will forever be frustrated with our family for the responsibility thats been shoved onto me

"he'll have a village" my ass, he's got two mentally ill siblings and a FIFO worker who are all in their 20's

[in-tua-deep]

yooo pls give me headcanons on five being an even younger child. unless you're saving them for fics ofc!!

Actual little kid Five or from the one fic idea I have where Five ends up being even younger than 13?? Regardless, I have a lot of thoughts so I’ll do both!

under the cut bc I can already tell this is gon get long

Actual baby Five - 

I already mentioned my headcanon that as a little kid when his powers were just manifesting, his powers sort of? Acted up just a little? Like he’d get little blue sparks playing across his hands constantly but without actually jumping. And, since touching the fabric of the universe is a bit tingly, Five would just chew on his hands to make the itchy feeling go away. 

Someone suggested mittens like the ones you give kids with chicken pox and I just about died so that’s 100% being added to my headcanons as well. And Five HATES those mittens with a passion and would have yelly screaming fits about them and just bash his mittened hands against the floor in outrage. Absolutely terrible.

Five could absolutely not control his powers at first. So he would just. Jump somewhere accidentally. Sometimes it was a kind of wishful thinking type thing like “hmm if i get up on the counter i can reach the cookie jar” and BAM suddenly Five is up on the counter. Other times it was more just “guess i’m gonna fall through the fabric of the universe and end up wherever lmao” and basically what I’m getting at is he gave everyone multiple heart attacks literally all the time

Sneezes. When Five sneezes he jumps by accident. Just ACHOO and a flash of blue light and he’s gone. Bye bye bitch. It’s involuntary and a nightmare when he gets sick.

Five was that little kid who LOVED to draw. Like he would just sit for hours with a crayon clenched in his chubby little baby fist drawing scribble monsters. Of course after a Certain Incident that included drawing on the walls Reginald Hargreeves banned drawing because it’s ‘childish’ or whatever. There’s a part of me that wants to say that after everything he picks up drawing again as something to occupy his hands that isn’t obsessively working and reworking equations

I’m going to go ahead and assign my own childhood bullshit to Five because why not so I headcanon that Five as a small child would DEMAND to be read to. At all hours. I’m talking literally attempting to pry the nannies eyes open and demanding that they ‘wead to [him]’ in the middle of the night. Most of the time he didn’t even actually care about being read to he just liked hearing someone talk so he was just as content just sitting with them while they chatted to someone else tbh (how did my parents not assassinate me as a kid smh)

and now i’m even sadder about him being alone in the apocalypse thanks

Would hide when he was upset. Also very good at hide and seek. Look this is a big ass house and Five can literally teleport out of a room and out from under watchful eyes I’m saying that he must have been the most stressful child in existence to watch over holy shit but yeah when upset crawls into some small space and hunkers down until he’s less upset. Start checking the cabinets you fools. Can and WILL fit into spots you think are too small for him to fit in. If there’s a larger space behind even he shouldn’t be able to squeeze in, he can jump in so don’t discount those as hiding places as well.

Cheated at tag. Cheated at tag so much. They literally have a special version of tag called ‘five tag’ designed specifically to handicap him because even when they ban using powers he still ends up being way too fucking good at tag like holy shit

okay this isn’t even much of a Five one but as little kids before Reggie decided to go on his “Vanya sucks” crusade they would team up against one another and Klaus was caught in the middle bc he was number four. Luther, Allison, and Diego would squad up (back before Luther and Diego were at each others throats I actually headcanon they were close before powers became a thing) and declare war on Five, Ben, and Vanya and then it became a game of trying to tempt Klaus onto a certain team. Klaus usually went with Five-Ben-Vanya but there were occasions that he was 100% a turncoat. Trust me I had an odd number of siblings this would have been a thing.

honestly though these nannies were dealing with seven kids under the age of four like god damn i have so much respect for them. That nursery must have been a fucking battle zone. There are no sides there is only survival. and these kids have SUPERPOWERS. Hell is empty and all the devils are looking at them with innocent eyes like the entire room isn’t completely trashed behind them. Where’s Five, kids? Where the fuck is your teleporting brother? Six put those tentacles away so help me god you will go straight into time out, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred. NUMBER ONE if you don’t put down that cabinet RIGHT NOW - 

Now i’m thinking about the first time Reginald dealt with one of the kids having a screaming meltdown in front of him. I feel like it would have gone very badly for the kid in question :(

and now for not quite a baby!Five

Extremely salty. Furious that he’s so small. Will stab you in the knees to make you get down to his level if you dare condescend to him. Probably stands on counters or tables when talking to his siblings, but has on at least one occasion hit his limit on jumps and been unable to get down without asking for help. Decides that he lives on the kitchen counter now because fuck that noise

Would rather die than be carried anywhere but if he’s the one to climb on someone then it’s okay. Prefers sitting on shoulders because a) taller, and b) they don’t have to hold him up and he can pretend that it’s entirely his decision

A sleepy bitch. Overuses his powers frequently getting to places he can’t easily reach anymore. Sleepy and grumpy. Doesn’t give two shits where he falls asleep and will sleep sprawled out across the floor, had been stepped on or had someone trip over him before and yet still refuses to stop. Honestly it’s a bit of a roulette whether he’ll wake up if they try to put him somewhere else, with just as much danger implied. Klaus produces traffic cones from god knows where and gleefully surrounds Five when he finds in which… is as good a solution as any tbh

His powers are still like,, almost on the fritz? Like when he was a little kid he couldn’t control them. He can now, but also they glitch out occasionally and his hands are all itchy again because they keep pushing at the boundary of the universe without him even thinking about it and it’s the most irritating thing in the world

His pain tolerance is back to being shit which he doesn’t appreciate. However everyone else freaks out way more than him when he accidentally slices his hand open trying to steal one of Diego’s knives, which was pretty funny

Claire comes over and immediately teams up with Five. No one saw it coming and everyone regrets it except for the tiny duo.

She asks him why he’s a kid if he’s her Uncle Five and he gives her the whole story about him growing old in the apocalypse and coming back etc. etc. and that he’s actually a grown up and he doesn’t think she’s going to understand but Claire just says “Oh, like Narnia?” and Five is like “EXACTLY LIKE NARNIA” and she is automatically his favorite

Claire literally tells Five point blank that he’s wasting his potential. How does Five not know all the tricks to being a brat and getting what you want? Puppy dog eyes first and progress into tantrums my friend. Look, Claire is Allison’s daughter and Allison was manipulative as fuck as a child and Claire has inherited at least some of that

Five’s eyes are fucking OPENED and everyone wishes they would be closed again. Five’s puppy eyes are surprisingly and devastatingly effective, especially when he tears up and lets his little lip wobble. Claire is so fucking proud of her protege

Claire rules the house with her tiny iron fist and Five readily follows her lead. Look, he never wanted to be the leader okay he was content to leave that to Luther and he’s equally happy now to leave it to Claire

The first time Patrick came to pick Claire up Five kicked him in the shins and ran off and Patrick was just very very confused about why Allison’s nephew (cover story, Klaus probably gets to pretend to be his dad again or something) has decided to hate him

Five still hides when he’s upset and now he’s tiny literally no one can find him. The first time it happens everyone freaks out and searches the entire house and after a few hours Grace just pops off and retrieves a now sleeping Five from like, the top shelf in the linen closet or something idk

On at least one occasion has had to be stopped from eating some kind of insect or spider off the floor. It’s like owning a cat or something. For the most part they hate it but one of them (Klaus) has 100% pointed out one to Five like “GET IT” but honestly this could be a headcanon for any age Five

[id-rather-be-an-outsider]

Sunflower Dreams | pt I

Aaron Davis (Spiderverse) x Reader

word count: 1757 (or about that, I made some tweaks after I copy pasted it here so uh.... rough guestimate?)

summary: when young and educated y/n’s given the opportunity of a lifetime, she plans accordingly. her life is finally starting to be perfect, until suddenly, it’s not anymore. her friendly neighborhood bachelor, Aaron Davis, helps her pick up the pieces, as she unknowingly makes him see that there’s more to life than being a villain.

a/n: I decided to write this story bc Aaron Davis gets no love, which is crazy to me, and because I had a little idea cooking up in my head that I thought would be a good story. I took a lot of inspiration for the protagonist from my own life, but you’re only gonna hear slivers of it for now. I have no idea how many chapters this is gonna be, but like. I hope someone enjoys this, bc I know I will enjoy writing it. also. I wrote this story from my perspective, so when I imagine the reader, I envision her as kinda ambiguous in the ethnic department (I’m mixed but white-presenting), but she can be whatever ya’ll want her to be. lightskin, darkskin, anything. okay. Imma let ya’ll read now haha jk I also gotta say, HELL YEA I USED TREVANTE RHODES AS MY PERSONAL FANCAST FOR AARON DAVIS, THAT MAN IS FWOINE AIN’T NOBODY FINNA TELL ME ANY DIFFERENT FUCK OUTTA HERE

    I didn’t make a big deal about moving to New York to pursue my Masters. Already had my Bachelors in Business Administration with a minor in Fine Arts, just got my Bachelors in Education, and now I was ready to chase after my Masters. It only made sense to take the opportunity. How often are you gonna be offered a full ride in exchange for opening your own business in Brooklyn upon graduation, with the funding necessary to do so? Once it took off, I’d return to Tacoma and pay the city my gratitude for making me who I was.

     As I was saying, it was a quiet departure. Thank God I’m a minimalist, otherwise I would’ve had a LOT more items to bring with me. My boyfriend and I packed all my belongings and made the trek across the US after saying goodbye to my family and friends. He was driving. We held hands all the way there. Sometimes speaking, sometimes not.

     When we got to my new home, I already had a parcel of mail waiting for me from my university. After we took up the first load, we sat down on my empty floor and opened it. It welcomed me home and had a map, coffee shops and fun places circled for me to go visit. It was sweet.

     By noon we had everything in my unit thanks to a friendly neighbor named Aaron Davis and his nephew, a funny kiddo named Miles who reminded me of why I came to New York in the first place, and by the evening we had everything unpacked. We walked to a Starbucks and had coffee and sandwiches, now sitting on my bed with our stomachs full. The window was open, the faint beeps and honks of traffic coming from far below.

     We curled up into each other. “I fucking hate this,” I said. “It’s not fair.”

     “I know. I do too. And you know I would stay here with you if I could, but I’m still having no luck finding a job here.”

     “Fuck finding a job, I’ll be the breadwinner of the family,” I laughed, even though I was serious. He knew I was.

     “I can’t burden you like that financially. I promise, as soon as I land an interview, you’re gonna be the first to know. And as soon as I get hired, I’m showing up on your doorstep.” He kissed my forehead. “I don’t say it near enough, but I love you, and I’m so proud of you.”

     “I love you too. And thank you. It’s like, my entire life is falling perfectly into place, all but- well- except for you.”

     “We’ll get there, I promise. For now, just finesse every man or woman here who will buy you dinner, and try to have fun.” He rubbed my back, continuing, “You’ve never dated anyone but me, so... take it as your opportunity to learn about what you like, and once we’re together again, we can find a way to fit any new and quirky tastes you find you have into the relationship. But-“ His hand moved down quick and slapped my ass, squeezing it and illiciting an ‘ow’ of protest from me- “This is still mine, so no fucking, or else I’ll be doing more beating than just beating that pussy up.”

     I laughed and said, “You fuckin’ freak.”

     “Yea, but you like that shit.” He said confidently.

     “Shut the fuck up, why you gotta be so loud about what we do when the window’s open?” I gave him a light punch, then whispered in his ear, “But aye, like, I won’t deny it.”

     “Good, because that would’ve been real awkward after I’ve been in them guts for four years straight.” Then he lowered his voice. “Speaking of which, I’m trynna be in them once more tonight and tomorrow morning.”

   �� “I dOn’T hAvE aS HiGh Of A sEx dRiVe As YoU!” I mocked him in my best Spongebob voice. “Always lyin for why?”

     He pulled me on top of him and kissed me, his way of telling me to shut up nicely. “Shhhh, I’m just trynna make the most of the time we have left before I have to go back to Tacoma.”

     “But you don’t have to go,” I said, “You can stay here-“

     He cut me off with a series of kisses, “I already-“ “-bought-“ “-the tickets-“ “-so I actually do kinda have to.” He wrapped his arms around me, petting my hair. He always said I had the softest curls he’d ever touched.

     “I just wish you could stay,” I whispered. “We’ve already made it through so much, each of us on our own and then together, I just-“ I cut myself off. The tears welled up in my eyes, threatening to spill over. “-I just-“

     “Baby, say it. If your overthinker brain is gonna torture you with this, I wanna hear it so I can put those thoughts to rest.”

     “I just keep thinking that something’s gonna happen to you and I’m gonna lose you. The very idea of that terrifies me, and makes me want to weep-“ I go cross eyed as I watch a tear fall from my eye and trail down my nose- “-because I don’t know how to live without you. And I mean that in a couple ways.”

     “Well... I’m not leaving you forever. I’m coming back here as soon as possible, I’m gonna talk to you on Discord every chance I get, I’m gonna call you every day,  and I’m gonna go to sleep every night dreaming that I’m here with you. For all we know, I could be coming back here in less than a month.” He tilted my chin up to look in my eyes. “Even if I’m not physically present, I’m always gonna be here. You’re never alone.”

     “I love you.”

     “I love you too.”

     In the morning, we slept in late and cuddled until he absolutely had to get up. We both hopped in the shower and he put on his airport clothes while I pulled on a pale, lemon yellow sweatsuit with a white gold chain to match. Gotta let these hoes know, I outdress them even on my bummy days.

     The ride to the airport was a back and forth between us kissing at red lights and screaming out different lyrics from XXXTentacion, Post Malone, JUICE WRLD and whoever the hell else we felt like listening to as we drove, much like we did since the beginning of our relationship.

     When we got there, we took our time saying goodbye since he didn’t have to stress too much about baggage check. We said we loved each other, once I couldn’t see him anymore I called him and we talked while I drove back to my new home and he waited for his flight, and then he was called to board so we got off the phone, but not before he promised me that he would call me as soon as he landed.

     When I got home, I stopped by the mailbox to see if I had anymore mail and simultaneously checked my Instagram, seeing a flurry of notifications. Suddenly, his mom called me.

     “Hi mom, what’s up? Are you okay?” I said as I scrolled through my Instagram, trying to make sense of all the digital confusion.

     She sniffled.

     “Mom, what happened?”

     “Check the news, babygirl... have you not seen it yet?”

     “Uh, no, I haven’t, but I’ll check it out right now,” I said, putting her on speakerphone.

     She started sobbing, saying “I’m so sorry, baby, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have called you like this, but I wanted to be the one to tell you.”

     And that’s when I saw my worst fears in a news article:

NYC - Sea Bound Plane Crashes, No Survivors

A horrific accident has happened today, and experts are still struggling to find out how - a plane headed to Seattle malfunctioned mid-flight, claiming the lives of everyone on board. Many of the victims have already been identified by their families, not by looks, but by the identification on their bodies at the time of the incident. Below this article are photos of the bodies. If you think you can identify one of them, contact...

     I couldn’t finish reading. I scrolled and saw the bodies, all of them mangled and torn apart, almost unrecognizable as humans. Hearing his mom say ‘he’s dead’ over and over again as I stared at the pictures made me lose my stomach.

     Up came all of my breakfast, and whatever Starbucks I hadn’t yet digested from the night before.

     “Mama, I love you, but I have to call you back later-“ a pause as I threw up again. “I’m physically sick. I’m so sorry,” I sobbed the last sentence, and after hearing a teary goodbye from the other end, hung up. I’d dropped my mail the first time and only now noticed that it was covered in my mess. I didn’t care. I started crying, which was a mistake, because it only made me throw up more, this time nothing but bile.

     “Hey, are you okay?” I whipped around, facing Aaron Davis, the friendly man from the day before.

     “I- I’m sick.” I said, and immediately burst into tears. “Please help me.” Those three words rarely ever left my mouth, but even I know when I can’t do something on my own. He put his keys in his pocket and reached out to me.

     Mere minutes later, I was in my unit, crouched over the toilet, heaving. Aaron had guided me there, holding my hair out of my face as I continued to puke. He called management and told them what happened, and he told me they were already cleaning it up.

     “Listen... I know it’s not my place to say anything, seeing as I’m just your neighbor, but...” He rubbed the back of his neck as he was crouched beside me. “I overheard the phone call. And I overheard the conversation you had with your boyfriend last night. He loved you.”

     “I know he did.” I said, because it was true.

     “I just... look, if you need anything, I’m here. I know you‘re hurting a lot right now, and I know you may want nothing but for everyone to leave you alone, especially the new dude who isn’t minding his business, but if you need anything, I’m here. And Imma check up on you. You’re not alone. You’re never alone.”

     I laughed, but it held no real warmth. “He said that last part to me yesterday night.”

     “He was right. And still is.”

[lvckpicks-blog]

( jung yoonoh, cismale, he/him, 24. ) — alexander "lex” khang, better known to the media as eros has been working for the yōkai for around six years. rumor has it, he can be ebullient & versatile but also cocky & licentious which is why he makes the perfect safe cracker.

you can find a picture of the mask he wears during heists HERE & HERE!! though he’s customized it so that the led lights change frequently.

hi wow hello!! i’m caitlyn, 24, she/her, cst timezone. and honestly?? i am in fucking AWE of every single one of you ?!!!!!! from the bottom of my heart, thank you for taking interest in this rp & for being as encouraging and positive as you have been. words cannot express how grateful i am for each and every single one of you ?!!! whenever this idea came to me, i didn’t think it would ever take off like it has & the out pour of love and support i’ve gotten is absolutely incredible. i could go on and on for hours about how much i seriously do appreciate it, but i’d turn into an emotional lil bitch and ain’t nobody got time for that so moving on !!

this is lex, he’s a mess and a half but honestly.... i can’t ever play characters that aren’t a trashy mess with an even worse backstory so here we GO!!! there’s some basic stats, bio, personality and basic af plot ideas under the cut so if you’d like to plot like this or hmu!!!

TW: mentions of alcohol & death. ( car crashes / house fires )

general information.

full name: alexander khang. nickname(s): alex, lex. date of birth: october 31st, 1994. age: twenty-four. nationality: korean. spoken languages: english, korean, chinese, japanese, french, spanish, german & russian. gender: cismale. pronouns: he / him / his. sexuality: bisexual. faceclaim: jung yoonoh ( jaehyun ) of nct.

background.

hometown: ulsan, south korea. current residence: tokyo, japan. financial status: upper class. occupation: safe cracker. family connections: tba.

extra information.

myers briggs: entp-a. ( the debater. ) enneagram: eight. ( the challenger. ) temperament: choleric. moral aligment: neutral evil. hogwarts house: slytherin. sin: wrath. virtue: pride. zodiac: scorpio. element: fire.

biography.

born and raised in korea.

parents spoiled him and his sister to death and made sure both of them had everything they needed to be happy.

however, whenever him & his sister were young, they lost their parents to a house fire and they were forced to go into the foster care system.

he wouldn't allow him & his sister to be separated, so they ended up being in the system for a long time until an american family took interest in both of them.

and before they even realized what was going on, lex & his sister were being shipped off to the states to meet their new family.

things were... different there, their new parents still spoiling them to death but everything around them was completely new and strange.

n bc of that, and because of the fact that lex couldn't communicate with his new parents, he began to rebel.

he started sneaking out of the house, breaking into places he shouldn't have been in.. going to parties even when he was underage and all sorts of things like that.

but he took an affinity to anything that had to do with picking locks, noticing that it kept his mind focused all while continuing to be able to 'rebel' in various sorts of ways.

after that, he focused on that, buying locks of all sorts until there wasn't a thing he couldn't break into.

however, the standard locks started to become boring, technology starting to be more and more prominent in the world so he started to teach himself how to hack as well.

not just into things, but how to 'pick' technologically advanced locks and everything like that.

he started to become so interested in that lifestyle, that he went to trade school for it.

but what he didn't expect was to meet someone there in the process, lex falling head over heels the second he laid eyes on them.

and god, he was smitten. ready to marry them within six months of meeting them. after proposing on a date and them saying yes, things were starting to kick into gear.

soon after, the wedding was planned and a date was set, but the wedding would never happen and lex wouldn't be able to spend the rest of his life with them.

his fiance was taken from him in a car accident, one he blames himself for to this day because they were headed to meet him to talk about the possibility of adopting a baby bc they couldn't have one & bc lex knew what it was like to be in the foster care system and wanted to be able to pull someone else out of that situation.

after that, alexander began to let his grief consume him, finding his home to be a bar stool at the nearest bar, drinking his sorrows away until someone practically had to carry him home.

that's when he met the mastermind of the crew, the other being nice enough to drive lex home from the bar one evening due to how intoxicated he was.

the mastermind happened to catch onto the fact that lex was very much into picking locks, into breaking into things that 'couldn't' be broken into and so he offered lex a job. quick money, no one would know it was lex at the end of the day and a reputation that'd soar for years to come.

it was then that lex's life started to turn around ever-so-slightly, becoming the best ( and only ) safe cracker that the yōkai had ever seen.

he started to grow happier, or so it seemed.

lex started to hide his grief, started to pretend he was just a happy-go-lucky goof ball on the outside while continuing to drink himself to sleep at night just to be able to get some sleep at all.

but he tried to control it as much as he could, tried to keep it inwards and not let it effect him or his job, and he never did.

alexander was/is a completely different person when he's on a heist & when the crew is all at HQ together.

the only person that knows about lex’s sister and fiance is the mastermind, though he does often send big chunks of his cuts to his sister so that his niece and nephew can remain happy, healthy and equally as spoiled as he and his sister were.

he doesn’t talk about his past life, nor does he really like opening up so very few people can see that there’s a grieving person behind the goofy exterior he tends to have.

personality.

hides behind a wall of sarcasm, cockiness, and lust.

doesn’t really care to get to know people and had a tendency to push people away before they get too close to him. because he really… doesn’t want to get hurt again & doesn’t want to put them @ risk.

but will also tease and mess with literally everyone.

wears glasses to read and mess w computers, but hates them a lot and probably won’t wear them if people are around.

is …. stubborn as hell and refuses to ask for help with anything.

his motorcyle and cars are literally his babies ??? like he ?? has a problem ??

a hotmess

loves halloween so much?? he gets so hype for that holiday it’s unreal.. even if it is his bday.

fluent in a lot of languages, picked them up so that he didn’t need translators for heists n such.

lowkey worried that people will figure out that he’s actually v hurt inside because that’ll cause him to start having to deal with his feelings again, and he doesn’t wanna do that.

is the biggest flirt you will ever meet?? like if he’s speaking 2 u… its usually flirty as hell unless it has 2 do w business or he’s just known u for centuries ?

will try to get everyone to go to bars n parties with him because that’s his life in a nutshell ??

hella nerd on the inside though like owns so many comic books, loves to play video games, read books, plays piano / violin & all that jazz.

super, super intelligent. could probably work @ nasa but instead he decided to do what he does & he honestly… ain’t complaining.

drinks..heavily..  like every night?? it’s a problem tbh.

he cares… god he cares so much about people and the world but he pretends to hate everything because it’s easier than letting people in.

full of horrible and cheesy pick up lines and jokes and frequently texts people said pick up lines and jokes.

owns a book that is full of nothing but blank pages and keeps it on his coffee table because he ‘relates’ to it.

is a highkey hoe but he keeps it on the dl

super into fitness as it’s a way to keep him away from drinking every evening. ( that doesn’t work lol )

loves boxing so much and can be seen at the gym quite a bit.. also has bruised knuckles 24/7 because of it as it’s a way to take out his aggression and feelings out on a punching bag?

speaking of… anger issues af. well... grief turned into anger.

actually super kind and caring once you’re able to see get past his wall?? which is really hard to do due to his job but if u do it he’ll cherish u.

has a bad habit of smoking whenever he’s stressed out, which is usually all of the time so he smokes…. more than he should.

highkey into cuddling and all the cute shit like that but would literally never tell a soul because then they’d see that he isn’t such a hardass.

is a burnt cupcake who has really good intentions but has extremely horrible execution skills. ( and no i don’t mean the violent kind bc he’s actually v good @ that )

plot ideas.

bad influence. ( on your muse. )

best friends.

childhood friend.

confidant.

current hook up(s).

drinking buddies.

drunken hook up.

enemies that used to be friends.

enemies.

exes who ended on bad terms.

flirtationship.

frenemies.

friends that used to be enemies.

friends with benefits.

good influence. ( on lex. )

hate sex.

one night stand(s). ( past & present. )

partner in crime.

party buddies.

past hook up(s).

ride or die.

trouble makers.

unlikely friends.

[fmdjoosungarchive]

fmdmeme001

yes, i’m late. at the bottom, there are pictures of the asks i got for this meme back then, so you know i’m not cheating

what is your favorite single you’ve released?

“if it’s just about what single i like best as a song, i think it’s hola hola. i’m quite partial to more upbeat, summery songs. it’d probably be hola hola for what makes me happiest too, because it reminds me of officially debuting, and i was really excited back then! but i liked the concepts for you in me and bomb bomb the most. you in me has more of a story to it which i like, and bomb bomb makes us look really cool.”

what are your favorite b-sides/non-title tracks you’ve released?

“overall one of my favorite songs we’ve ever released, b-side or not, would be living good. it’s the song i’ve had the most hands on approach in creating, and i’m always wanting to give back to the fans and show them our love. if it’s strictly about sound, though, i think it would be trust me, in any which version. it’s the closest to the kind of music i’d like to make for myself some day.”

what is your least favorite song (title track or b-side) you’ve released?

“ah, i don’t think i have a least favorite? i love all of our songs! if i had to choose a song, it’d be bomb bomb. it was really nice to get to have a comeback and for it to do as well as it did, but it’s the furthest song we have from what i’d normally listen to. it’s a bit harsh for me.”

if you could do a duet with anyone in the industry, who would you choose?

“anyone? gosh, um, i’d do a duet with all of my idols if it were up to me. maybe [gold star soloist 1]? i’ve been a fan of her as long as i was into music, so about ten years now. i’d like to do a soft duet about love where i get to sing. she’d sing way better than me, of course, but i don’t mind being upstaged, especially by her.”

what do you think of your/your group’s concept?

“it’s really cool in my opinion! a lot of what we do has been very different from other groups, and in some ways, it’s worked in our favor. when the company told me i’d be representing the water element, i thought that was fun because i love swimming and the beach. and i think it fits with our fans a lot too, because they represent the world, and so do we, in a way.”

what is one thing (a concept, a genre, an outfit, etc.) you would least like your company make you do?

“i... don’t want to come off ungrateful to the company or the concepts that they come up with but, i would really not like to kiss anyone. i don’t mind romance concepts, and i think it can be fun, but there’s something different about being that intimate with someone. i’ve only shared romantic kisses with one other person in my life, and i’d like to keep it that way. i suppose i can’t choose what happens to me, though.”

what one thing (concepts, genres, styling, frequency of comebacks, etc.) would you like to change about your current career as an idol?

“only one thing? um... i don’t like the way the company leans into my looks, but i think more important than that is the frequency of comebacks. we had a very powerful debut, which gave us the momentum, but we’ve somewhat lost it, and i think part of that is because we don’t have comebacks super often. it’s not as fun listening to a group’s discography when they only have a small number of songs.”

if you could be in any idol group, which one would you choose?

“knight. ...was that too quick of an answer? i don’t hide that i’m a big fan of bc groups, and though i love decipher and charm, they’re getting up on becoming a ‘senior group’ now and still have an incredibly strong fanbase. but if gender wasn’t an issue, i’d go with wish. i don’t like playing favorites, but wish is definitely my favorite group these days. i love their concept and every song is great in my opinion!”

if you could say one thing to your ceo, what would it be?

“i’m not very confrontational, so i don’t think i’d be able to say much beyond thanks and bowing. truthfully, i knew her better as a trainee than i do now. but, if i didn’t have to say it to her face, i’d like to kindly express that i don’t think competition is the way to build a successful company, because if they put more behind groups like us, maybe we would be more successful. but i don’t like the business oriented mindset, so, i’m biased.”

if you were auditioning for your company today, what would you perform for your audition, or what would you change from your original audition?

“i’d change everything from my original audition! i had no idea what i was doing at the time because i’d never had any training in the arts. i know at the time i was passed through because i was scouted based on my looks, but if i did it today, i’d rather wow them with my dancing, probably to an impulse or origin song, since that would be what they’d be looking for from me. i’d like to say i would sing for them as well, but that’s still a few years off, i think.”

if you could do any special stage, what would it be and who would it be with?

“it would probably be performing bemyfriend with @fmdseyeon! it’s the first song i’ve officially released outside of element, and it would be a lot of fun to do with one of my best friends. we have good chemistry because of it, and i think, especially if we had some say in the stage, or the choreography, it could be a really fun stage to do together. i’m also always up for dancing more, and who better than a man who used to fall asleep in the practice room as trainees with me?”

what career opportunities would you like to pursue that you’ve yet to, or what achievements would you like to obtain that you’ve yet to?

“i’d like us to get a music show win. i don’t know if it’s in the cards for us, but maybe if the korean public start to like us more it could happen? i’m not sure... um, personally? i don’t think there’s much i haven’t pursued that i want to, as i’ve been trying to do more of that lately. i’ve liked what i’ve been doing as i create songs and choreography, though. it makes me happy.”

if you could become a model or ambassador for any brand, what would you choose?

“hmm, maybe for a cute character i like? like kkt, or hello kitty. or! a bookstore! that would be really cool. i don’t think bookstores have ambassadors, but i love books so i’d be knowledgable enough for the gig. that sort of branding stuff isn’t big on my mind, though.”

if you could be on any variety show, which one (or which type of one) would you want to be on?

“i really love kids, so if it were a current show, i’d like to be on the return of superman. stuff about kids makes me miss my nephew a lot, but i love meeting new people, especially kids! they’re all so nice and good, and the world needs more of that. but if i could choose one that isn’t on air anymore, i think hello baby would fit me better, and it’d be fun to do it with the rest of element! we’d make good parents.”

if you were offered the chance to become a ceo of an entertainment company, new or existing, would you take it? why or why not?

“that’s a bit of a difficult question. i don’t think so. i’d like to think that i could be a fair and understanding and kind ceo, but i wouldn’t like the job. i left my home for music because i didn’t want to be in a business position. i’m not very good at having the strength to win deals and be cunning in meetings, and i think when it comes to competing against all of the other entertainment companies from the ground up, you’d need a lot of that.”

what changes would you implement if you were the ceo of your company?

“again, i don’t like the thought of being a ceo much. it’s too much pressure. but, if this were a scenario where i didn’t have any holds barred, and could make decisions as i pleased, i’d let all of the artists contribute to the music as much as they wanted, so long as they were willing to be vetoed and work with experienced professionals. i’d treat everyone equally, and use idols not based on what will make the most money, but on what they are the most passionate to do.”

what do you do to relieve the stress of idol life?

“i take baths! it’s not always an option, especially when we’re out of the country and a hotel room doesn’t have a bath, but i love it! there are so many relaxing scents to waft through the room, and it’s generally relaxing to let your muscles decompress in warm water. besides from that, though, i like talking with my friends and reading.”

what tips would you give to a trainee about to debut?

“am i the best person to ask this? i’m unsure, given element’s debut was so unconventional. i have a hard time thinking of our debut being in 2017 because it feels like it was in 2016. but, um, drink well, eat well, and look after your health. no matter how much you want to push yourself, you can’t be productive if you go too far and get hurt. you’re a person at the end of the day and deserve to treat yourself kindly.”

what was the hardest part of being a trainee?

x

did you enjoy the lifestyle of a trainee or of a debuted idol more?

“both have their ups and downs, and i don’t know if one outweighs the other. maybe debuted idol? there was some sense of accomplishment and less worries over whether i would be kicked from the company, especially in the beginning. nowadays, i’m not sure. i think it doesn’t matter in the end, because they’re connected, and i couldn’t have been an idol if i didn’t go through the training, and similarly vice versa.”

what one song or album by another group or soloist would you have liked to release yourself?

“i think... @fmdtaeyong‘s album daydream? i’m not a very talented singer, but the sounds is something i would like for myself. that’s part of why i admire him as an artist, because i love the songs he creates. if i needed to stick to something more within my position, though, it’d be @fmdjaewon‘s biorhythm album, for a similar reason as ash sunbaenim’s. we may not have gotten along much in the past, but i have always admired him as an artist and would love to work with him in the future if that is the kind of music he enjoys.”

describe your dream sub-unit (members and concept).

“can’t i be a part of wish as a sub-unit? ...alright, um, if i really think about it, i’d want to have people that i think are very talented, and work well separately and together. [gold star soloist 1] would absolutely have to be a part of it. then, maybe @fmdxsuji. her vocal power is intense. @cindyfmd too, they both have the similar punching power that could contrast with [gold star soloist 1]’s soft vocals. and then, if we choose another rapper, probably [silhouette main rapper/lead dancer]. and that way, they make a very solid group, and i can step back more and have less lines, if any at all. i don’t think one singular concept would work for us, so maybe it could be like fuse or 7rophy where we can bounce around to whatever feels right.”

out of the following six options, would you rather be allowed to play a major hand in the lyrics, production, choreography, styling, music videos, or concepts you release?

“gosh, that’s really hard. i’d like a part in at least most of those if it were totally up to me. but if i could only have a major hand in one, i think i’d choose production, if that could mean production and composition in one. as much as i love dancing, i think a lovely part of the community of dancers is learning from one another. when it comes to the sound of a song, i think that’s the biggest point in what drive’s the rest of those things. like, in element, people think of us as summery and tropical because many of our songs use tropical beats, and a lot of our styling and concepts have followed that.”

which of the two other companies (out of bc, dimensions, and gold star) you are not currently signed under would you rather be an artist in?

“definitely it’d be bc! i have friends under the company that don’t like it, which i understand but... they make really good groups. many of them have stayed together for a really long time, some without losing members in so long, and they have a lot of money and fame to back up new groups. they get the best of everything for their comebacks. and i’d... like to be a part of a company that believes in me and my group.”

what is your least favorite part of being an idol?

“the way fans talk about me and my friends. i think they think we don’t, or can’t, see the mean things they say, but so many of them are mean for no reason. they like to do this thing where they fight each other over who is a fan of the better idol? i don’t understand it, and it never gets anywhere. they both leave with the same opinions they had, but more upset.”

what is your favorite part of being an idol?

“this may sound cliche, but it’s music. the art surrounding music is the reason i auditioned for the company, and the reason i spent eight years working as hard as i could to debut. music, and the things that come with it, like dancing, singing, composing, they’re all a part of my soul. i wouldn’t give any of them up without a fight.”

would you rather be incredibly famous with a terrible reputation and hated by most or be fairly unknown with a good reputation and adored by those who know of you? why?

“fairly unknown! that’s probably the answer more close to where i am now. i am... known, of course, but in korea, i can generally get away with going out on my own and not being recognized. and, unless i’ve missed something, i’m pretty sure i have a good reputation. some people may see me as a playboy of sorts because i have a lot of female friends, but it’s not damaging as far as i know. i don’t want people to think terribly of me, because i think if there are so many people who have that awful opinions of me, i must be doing something wrong.”

what moment in your career are you proudest of so far?

x

what have you learned about yourself and/or society since becoming a celebrity?

“i don’t know if i’d necessarily call myself a celebrity... but i’ve learned a lot since our pre-debut! time does that to anyone, i think. the standards i hold myself to have changed, in that, while i’m still competitive against myself, i know i can’t push myself to the point of tearing more ligaments, because it only hurts me later on. in my personal life, i’ve become a bit different. i think some of my naivety has drifted away, and as i’ve come to find love, i’ve changed there too.”

what would you like to change about how society views or treats idols?

x

[star-anise]

Hi! Before I send this ask, I cannot stress enough how much I am not saying this applies to the kids at the US border. I am strictly speaking in terms of the Canadian foster system. How can we help reduce separation trauma in young people in legitimately unsafe situations? (I work with youth at camps and the like- I've had to make a few calls to CAS in my day)

I can do a Canadian context! I’ve made calls like that of my own (to Alberta Child and Family Services and the BC Ministry of Child and Family Development).

First: In Canada, it’s hard to overstate how much the crisis of kids in care is a race thing. 7% of Canadian children overall are Aboriginal; HALF of the kids in foster care are Aboriginal. And this isn’t just historical (though don’t get me wrong! The Residential Schools and colonization FUCKED THINGS UP). Today, under the current system, FNMI communities still struggle for the basic requirements of family health, like clean water, basic housing, adequate health care, and access to education. A lot of basic services are provided to FNMI communities through entirely different government systems than the rest of Canadians, and the current setup is not working for a lot of people. I don’t know what in particular would be better, but I’m sure a lot of Aboriginal people who are experts on the topic do; I think it’s incredibly important to listen to them and throw our political weight behind them.  Because my firsthand observation from doing on-the-ground work is that there is so much upstream poison on this issue, all of our work downstream is fundamentally damaged by it. Even if you don’t work directly with Aboriginal kids, I promise you, all the work you do is affected by this gaping wound in Canadian society.

Okay so. More widely. I’ll quote Bruce Perry, from The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: “the research on the most effective treatments to help child trauma victims might be accurately summed up in this way: what works best is anything that increases the quality and number of relationships in the child's life.”

Longevity, I’ll add. The longevity of relationships in a child’s life. Children who have been traumatized thrive on the ability to predict and control what happens to them. There is an incredible benefit to having the same people in their lives, year after year. So although a lot of people want to jump in with both feet and do something HUGE and EXTRAORDINARY, things like a two-week trip to Africa where you play with orphans and then leave and never come back tend to do more harm than good when it comes to mental health. You actually get more bang for your buck out of a low-key, consistent commitment--getting to know kids year after year, being reliable and predictable. We don’t do enough to laud the people who sell penny candy at vacation spots every summer--their interaction with the kids is brief and perfunctory, but being known, recognized, and greeted by the same person one weekend a year for your entire life does amazing things for your sense that the world is friendly, reliable, and safe.

But in terms of number of relationships, that means the number of people in their life who will look out for the child and give caregivers a respite. A little while back there was an article going around about a “Maya Supermom” and I loved it because it pointed out that the Western model of a mother home alone raising kids all by herself is super unhealthy. We’re evolutionarily suited to have “alloparents”--an entire network of adults willing to split the load and help take care of children. In Canada one can’t so much wander into a stranger’s house and say, “I got the kids, go sleep,” but you can keep up your camp work, work with other youth organizations, or volunteer with Big Brothers, Big Sisters. (I just got back from a weekend camping with three of my nephews, which gave me more of a bond with them, and gave their parents time to be at home alone with the baby. One of the luckiest things in my life right now is that I get to be around to help with them.)

Having predictable connections and alloparents reduces the sense that when parents go away, the ENTIRE WORLD crumbles. These days, foster care systems try much harder to place kids with people who were already alloparents, especially close relatives (though this is harder when your entire extended family/community went through the same trauma as your parents, as happens in a lot of Aboriginal communities). And everyone is benefited by having really good childcare and child enrichment programs that give families a boost.

That’s everything off the top of my head--if you have a more specific question, let me know!

[cajunroe]

Answer all the space asks!

hahahah, nonny. thank you!

Comet- What are you currently frustrated about?hahaha, well my i’m having a crisis because i’m in over my head in my grad classes and it’s only the first week and now i’m completely second guessing my entire program bc i feel like i’m out of my depth entirely and if i switched my program to the english program i would at least know more and be able to actually feel comfortable in learning and not spending 6 extra hours on a 300 word assignment to make sure it’s somewhat okayBlack Hole- What are you most afraid of?failure…you can see why the above is a natural disaster waiting to hitGalaxy- Do you have any nicknames? What are they?i call myself a dumbass bitch literally every day of my life; one of my nephews calls me tati Star- What song(s) do you feel describes you?ohh, sleeping sickness by city & colour (nearly anything by city&colour really) habits by findlar, hmm….right now…somebody kill me from the wedding singerMoon- Are you currently reading any books? If so, what book(s)?aside from textbooks…i’m reading lost gods by bromPlanets- If you could go anywhere, where would you go?denver to see my best friend bc i need her hugs rnMercury- Describe your aesthetic.absolute disaster inside, absolute disaster outside.Venus- What’s your favorite tv show?ugh, too many. i list what i’ve rewatched the most: supernatural, the golden girls, the following, justified, band of brothers, the pacific, generation kill, longmire, psych, monk, the punisher, a lot of othersEarth- If you could be anyone else for a day, who would you want to be?joff bozos so i could literally give all his money to meMars- If you could change one thing about yourself, what would you change?my ability to make decisions because i can’t decide one thing. i’m a mess yoJupiter- If you had to pick one color to use for an entire week, what color would you choose?blackSaturn- How far would you go for those you care about?tbh much farther than they would ever go for meUranus- What would you say is your greatest achievement?still being aliveNeptune- Describe yourself in one sentence.simultaneously the best and worst person depending on when you meet herPluto- If you could meet anyone, alive or dead, who would you meet?my soulmateConstellations- If you could have one talent, what would you want it to be? (can be magical or not)teleportation…or if everyone is getting powers, then the ability to absorb powers alla sylar styleAsteroid- When you die, what do you want to be done with your body?cremation??? like idrc imma be dead and gone broAquarius- What’s a topic you enjoy learning about?history, english, digital media, film, languages, linguisticsAquila- Do you prefer to read books or watch movies?both at the same timeAries- What is something you enjoy doing?sleeping Auriga- If you had to pick one villain from any media, who would you rather have to face and why?loki bc i’d distract and befriend he’s fancy boy ass with good wineBootes- If you could have any animal, wild or not, fake or not, which would you want?direwolf - fluffy and deadlyCancer- How do you want to be remembered?i don’tCanis Major- How many friends do you have?people that i truly call a friend: 5 or 6Capricornus- What’s a song lyric that you relate to?“and i’m afraid, to sleep because of what haunts me. such as, living with the uncertainty that’ll never find the words to say which would completely explain, just how i’m breaking down”Cassiopeia- What’s your favorite quote?every word out of my dumbass mouth is goddamn gold so jot that downCygnus- If you could go back to any time period for a couple days, when/where would you want to go?any time i was with my best friend that passedGemini- Do you have any siblings? How many?three. two sisters and one brother.Leo- If you could change the way any movie was made, which movie would you change?the l*st j*diLibra- If you could talk to your past self, what would you tell yourself?life will always be hard, more than you could ever imagine, but there are small moment where you’ll feel pure joy and happiness that will make it all bearable.Lyra- Would you rather be feared or loved?“i want people to be afraid of how much they love me” -me -michael scottOrion- What’s your favorite type of weather?fall. i want it to be cold enough for layers but not too cold that i can’t spend hours and hours outside. there’s enough sunshine to show the leaves changing color but not too much to rid of the brisk air.Pegasus- What’s your favorite music genre?indie, lo-fi/bedroom pop, alternative, etc. Perseus- What’s your favorite movie genre?drama, action, romance, comedy - in that orderPisces- Describe someone you love without saying their name.the most supportive, compatible, and understanding person i know. able to call me out when i’m being the worst version of myself and appreciate me when i’m at my best. knows my traumas and secrets and desire and still loves me. my chosen sister. my other half. my best friend. Sagittarius- What do you do when you don’t feel well? What do you eat/drink?ginger ale, saltines, apple juice, and chicken noodle soup. my go-to sick watches are the twilight zone, gentlemen prefer blondes, anything vincent price, and all-time favorite: who framed roger rabbitScorpius- If you had to pick someone to betray you, who would you pick?myself or my sister, i’m used to bothTaurus- What makes you feel comfortable?cold room, warm bed. coffee. cake and pastries. the feeling after putting on fresh clothes after swimming or playing in the snow. homecooked meals. the smell of cinnamon and pumpkin.Ursa Major- If you had to pick any job to have, what job would you want?sad it before, say it again, maxixmum pay for minimal effortVirgo- What do you value the most- artistic ability/creativity, musical ability, athletic ability, intellect, or work ethic?none. ability to be kind, humble, and compassionate.Neutron- Are you more of a leader or a follower?leader when i need be. follower when i don’t want to lead.Supernova- How do you feel about yourself?the greatest love/hate relationship in the history of the world.Supergiant- What’s something you like about yourself?my sense of humor. my ability to love beyond my means. i love my own company.Red Giant- Would you get into a debate/argument with someone if you heard them saying something you disagree with or know to be wrong, or would you stay silent?GET INTO ARGUMENT. i have no restraint and i’m not going stand by and watch someone make a fool of themselves.Red Dwarf- What’s your favorite smell? What smell makes you feel most comfortable?my candles. my skin fresh out of the shower. the smell of home cooking. cinnamon and pumpkin. ((gasoline)) juniper, jasmine, honeysuckle, white wine, spices, i could go on foreverProtostar- Give a random fact about yourself.i am more stressed about my life choices now than when i started this.