#which is inherently ‘caring about other people’ of him

[transmasc-lesboy-ramblings]

Hey! Trans woman here, and I saw your post about recognizing the gender of trans men, which I agree very much with!

I do have a question about one point on that list, i.e. "validating the gender of trans men for the purpose of telling them that they have male privilege"

Are you referencing when people, mostly women, try to remind trans men that because they are men, that they occupy a place above women in the patriarchy, which is baked into our society?

Because if that were the case it would seem pretty silly to be men, and not recognize that that puts you above certain people in today's society, just like me being a woman puts me below certain people in today's society. Not recognizing that that is how it works today makes the whole system really resilient to change.

tw : mention of rape

Hello !!

My point was that while trans men are men,they do not have systemic privileges.

Trans manhood and cis manhood are treated differently by our society.The only group of men who truly have unconditional systemic privileges are white perisex monogender non-disabled cishet men. Trans men are still marginalized,even if they are men. They still face misogyny,work discrimination,discrimation in reproductive and in general medical care,etc.

Trans men can only have access to CONDITIONAL privileges,and that is also only if they pass and are stealth. But that's not the case for every trans men. There are many trans men who do not pass,who cannot pass or who just do not want to pass as men.Calling yourself a man and having he/him in your bio doesnt inherently suddenly give you privileges. They are not rewarded with privileges the moment they start calling themselves men and that they change their pronouns to he/him. And even passing trans men who are stealth can still be victim of things like reproductive care and general medical care discrimination.

There is even a specific form of discrimination for trans men,transandrophobia.Transandrophobia can take many forms,like how they are constantly threaten with corrective rape with the intention of detransitioning them and forcing them to become pregnant to pull them back into the closet. Or how they are more likely to be treated even worse than cis women in reproductive and general medical care systems,for exemple being refused into specific spaces of reproductive or general medical care because they are ''women's spaces only'',even they should absolutly be allowed access to these spaces.Or how their issues are constantly being down-played by people. Or how these same people are trying to seperate their identity into two parts : ''transgender'' and ''men''.Or how these people are then trying to claim that trans men aren't oppressed for being men,only for being transgender (by experiencing transphobia) or/and because they were (usually) afab (by experiencing misogyny),instead of acknowledging how the three parts of their identity that is being transgender AND having a manhood that is not perceived as ''correct'' by society AND having (usually) been afab (and all the other potential aspects of their identity) work together (as in cannot be seperated because each parts of their identity have their own influence) to create a unique form of oppression. Or how how they are both infantilized (''poor little delusional women who were manipulated into cutting off healthy breast tissues'') and vilanized (''evil people trying to manipulate young girls into cutting off their breast tissues and who are a threat to women's safety if they dare to share spaces with them'').There are many more exemples of this,but it would take hours to list all of them. If you are more curious about it,I highly suggest you to look into the transandrophobia tag on Tumblr !

So,no. I do not think being a trans man inherently make someone ''above women'' in the patriarchal system. The patriarchal system do not like trans manhood. The patriarchal system do not reward trans manhood. The patriarchal system only see trans manhood as a threat to the status quo.The current system we live in only reward white perisex monogender non-disabled cisgender manhood. Trans men are affected by the patriarchy just as much as the rest.And no amount of going on Tumblr and telling every trans men on this app that they should ''start acknowledging their male privileges'' in the name of ''intersectionality'' (which ironically,not acknowledging the nuances on how trans men can be uniquely affected by the patriarchy and treating their experiences as a 1:1 copy of cis manhood is the complete opposite of what intersectionality stands for) can change it.

[altaiiriss]

"Is something wrong?" Chuuya asks, noticing the pile of clothes progressively pooling at his feet.

His blue eyes travel from the book in his hands to a seemigly distressed Dazai. The brunet is standing in front of the mirror—has been for the past hour—, groaning occasionally as he emptied his side of the closet on the bed.

He straightens his shirt, then his hands fly to either side of his waist. Chuuya can't see his face from the bed, but that's not necessary when Dazai's body language is screaming all kinds of negative emotions.

"I don't like how skirts fit me today." he states. His voice is cold and analytical, as if he's trying to detach himself from his words.

He's wearing a cerulean button-up shirt, which accentuates his broad shoulders and hugs his waist smoothly, and a dark cotton skirt that goes all the way down to his ankles and definitely emphasizes his slender figure.

"You look pretty." Chuuya offers, trying to act cool but immediately getting betrayed by the subtle pink shade on his cheeks. He's rarely vocal about his feelings, for he'd rather show support through simple gestures, but he can tell Dazai could use some encouragement right now.

At least Dazai isn't looking at him.

"I don't."

Chuuya hums. "Perhaps it's a pants day today?"

"They don't fit me either." the brunet explains. His shoulders slump in defeat, as if he's trying shrink and disappear. "... Maybe it's me who I don't fit the clothes rather than the other way around."

Chuuya climbs off the bed, reaching for Dazai in the middle of their bedroom.

He stops right beside him.

"What's the matter?"

Dazai takes a deep breath.

"I don't know. I don't..." he gestures at himself, "Like the way I look."

"What do you look like?" Chuuya asks, genuine.

If he wants to understand, then he has to get in Dazai's head first.

"A woman," Dazai replies, clutching nervously at the fabric of his skirt, "It's the opposite with the pants. They make me look like a man."

Chuuya presses his lips together. "That's the social perception of clothes. No piece of clothing is inherently masculine or feminine, though."

"I'm aware of that. Sometimes it's not enough."

"What do you mean?"

"Clothes don't equal gender. However, they dictate the way the world perceives you, and at the end of the day people perceive you as either a man or a woman."

Chuuya silently nods, even though Dazai can't see him.

"Society does perceive me like a man," Dazai goes on, voice firm yet filled with uncertainty, "How can I prevent that from happening? The only option would be to transition into a woman. I don't want to be a woman though, but I'd rather be a man than a woman."

"You feel like there's no escape." Chuuya suggests.

"Well, I wouldn't say it's a feeling. It's simply the truth. I can't escape a society that makes such a hassle about a part of me I don't care for in the first place."

Chuuya meets Dazai's eyes in the mirror; he catches a glimpse of a smile on his lips, but he can sense the emptiness in his amber irises.

"It took a while for your trans journey to make sense to me. You feel your male identity so much—you and pretty much anyone else on this planet, whereas I feel like I'm colourblind."

"Yeah, I'm a man and definitely feel like one." Chuuya agrees.

"And there's nothing wrong with that." Dazai clarifies, finally turning around to face Chuuya, "I simply don't get the gist of it. You're just Chuuya to me."

"And you're just Dazai to me." the redhead reassures, reaching out to cup Dazai's face, "An insufferable ungendered mackerel. The genderless bane of my existence. The—"

"Okay, okay, you got the point across."

"Seriously though, you know you have my support regardless of whether I relate to your experience, don't you?"

"I do. They're cool about it at the Agency as well. I guess I got caught up in my head today."

"It happens and it sucks," Chuuya concedes, grabbing Dazai's hand and heading towards the bed, "But we can hide in bed until you feel good again. No one is going to perceive you."

"We need to go grocery shopping. That's what started the whole clothing ordeal." Dazai reminds him, eyes landing on the pile of abandoned clothes.

"It can wait. We can order takeout or make some pancakes."

Dazai's eyes glint, a newfound excitement painted across his face, "I'm voting for pancakes."

The detective hides beneath the silky sheets, relishing in the comfort of Chuuya's soft mattress. The redhead throws two controllers on the bed and joins him soon after.

"Taking advantage of this moment of weakness and inner turmoil to beat me at Mario Kart? I didn't think you'd ever sink so low, Chuuya."

"I'm a man full of surprises." Chuuya boasts proudly, turning the console on.

He would soon discover that his controller has been mysteriously remapped.

[everettes-requiem]

"Why are you so angry?

You speak really formally, you know? A lot of people here speak really formally. It makes it scarier for the smaller blokes when you start lashing out like that. You think no one can hear the arguments you have with others? It's always like listening to a stage play with the way you lot talk to each other.

Why do you do that, why do you act so hostile all the time? Is there any point or are you just doing it to feel a step above everyone else? We're stranded here together, you know, you're not going to benefit isolating yourself like that.

You don't have to be formal with me. We're on equal footing, in the same situation, aren't we? I could be your friend."

- ☀️ ( @finscadetkids )

“you’re nicholas. you’re friends with johnny” he spoke before the other could even get a word in. he let out his words cautiously, a bit more careful than he usually was. he looked at nicholas in the eye only slightly, before turning his attention to the weapon strapped to him. that was the real cause for concern.

“why are you here?” his eyes narrowed. surely johnny had told him about their little quarrel. though everette was sure nicholas was harmless, and that he himself was far from a rabid animal, so it was unlikely that he would shoot him point blank. but, there was still a possibility— and that possibility was most likely higher now considering how recently he made enemies with his best friend

but despite this and his efforts at the start to stay wary, his inherent nature betrayed his deteriorating want to live— to survive that is. his accursed tongue was no stranger to verbalizing his inner unbridled detestation, and thus, he did. there was no longer much regard for the other's feelings, nor his own life at this point so early in time

“did he send you my direction to send a bullet through my head? i already have enough to deal with after what abel did to me, you know. but of course you probably know. everybody does at this point. word spreads fast amongst you loathsome lot. as fast as 'he fire that happened on this island when we first got here. or maybe—“

everette’s words, just as they were starting to return to their rhythmic bouts of bitterness, ended as quick as they began. his words caught in his throat, the other boy's question hanging in the hair, until it fell into everette's hands. his grey eyes slowly met nicholas’ brown eyes. a glare riddled with building aggravation, met with a look of straightforward sincerity.

heat started to prickle beneath everette's skin. it slowly began to simmer to the surface, no doubt it was going to boil and overflow sooner or later. “what kind of question is that? you know, your little blue eyed friend came up to me with a stupid question just like yours not too long ago. didn't think i've ever cross a question more foolish than his, but 'hen here you are, presenting me with one 'hat might as well serve to be a testament to how daft you can really be. that's one thing about you nicholas, you just have to keep proving me wrong, don't you?"

"i've constantly overheard people say you two are opposites, but maybe i'm the first to actually find a solid similarity. how you two are complete idiots and sorry excuses for people. is that why johnny said you like the smarter folk? is 'hat to make up for your wits being non-existent, or am I mistaken? oh, of course not, i never actually am"

"you do know the saying that goes two heads are better than one, do you not, nicholas? though, how much better are they really if they're both as hollow as some seashell, hm? just like that useless conch that ralph still keeps around, 'hinking it'll do him any good anymore"

“it’s not like i was expecting anything more out of you, wasn’t expecting much at all, really. you could even say that they were in the ground, six feet below or what not— especially with the kind of people you associate with. but, perhaps even then my expectations were apparently too high, which I never thought to be possible"

"i thought you were going to shoot me dead. make me bleed from my head rather than from my nose. but now? quite honestly, i think i’d rather 'ake that over having a conversation with you” but, through all of this, the initial question still remained unanswered. purposeful ignorance, avoidance even. nicholas moved on after all, no reason for everette to dwell on it, no matter how much it provoked him. but, why did it provoke him so? was it because he truly thought it wasn't worth his time? or was it because for once, he couldn't properly answer him because he didn't know how to.

everette opted to focus on other things instead, he had no choice but to do so. he strained to listen to nicholas, a faint pain beginning to nag at him, his head aching. "if you want to talk about speaking formally, you should refer to reeves. 'hat boy speaks in riddles or something, such nonsense coming out of that self righteous mouth of his"

"what's the point in trying to get a message across when no one can understand you? no point at all 'hat's for sure. if you say anything about it though he'll probably retort back by saying how a simpleton such as yourself couldn't even begin to understand words of such superiority and grace. he makes me want to vomit." he let out a shaky breath, wiping off the excess blood that had now dried from his bruised and battered nose. his expression remained unbothered, although tension played at some of his features

"reeves thinks he'll make such a big impact in society. i just think reality has yet to hit him in the face, to knock him down a few pegs from 'hat pedestal he puts himself on. when that happens he's going to fall right into the loony bin, into 'he mental asylum where he belongs"

"there's something wrong with him, im sure of it. not just his ugly face, but internally as well. isn't it ironic? he's so closely affiliated with damon, who's the medic of the island, and yet no matter what, i bet that he could never fix reeves even if he tried!" if this were anyone else, perhaps there would be a little humor woven into that otherwise crude statement to lighten the connotations. but, everette was not just anyone else, of course he wasn't. the boy only grimaced, looking off to the side. he meant what he said.

"or take ripley for instance. he tends to articulate his 'houghts in such poetic verses. he did tell me he got full marks in writing back in school before we ended up here, so maybe that has something to do with it. every word of his is akin to the bindings of a book. strung together for one reason or another, it’s beyond me, really. can barely tell what’s going on in that head of his, i’d think it would be rather difficult to think with constant buzzing going on. if he even does think for himself anymore”

“there were days i wished he would just go quiet. no matter how lyrical and appealing his words may seem, when they are constantly following you around like some never ending allegory, 'hen it would end up driving you to your wits end sooner or later. but, i will say with indifference that my past desire has partly come true now. he speaks less than he used to, he mutters more than he actually talks. however, it’s all still very flowery. it’s much like 'he flowers he used to gift me. though, i'm sure flowers wilt in his path nowadays. the byproduct of his chosen lineage, i suppose"

his voice evened out at the last words, falling into silence. the waves fell high and low, and the wind blew past, it all served as white noise that then only emphasized how uncharacteristically still everette stood. he even looked, uncomfortable for a moment. the boy shook his head, crossing his arms.

"either way, i do not know their reasons, and I don’t care to give you mine in full. all you need to know is that if my father bids me to speak this way, then I will listen. he said that the way you speak is indicative of the boy you are, if not the man you will find yourself growing to be in the future. if you have a proper grasp on your words, then you may as well have the world in the palm of your hand. at the very least, that is what i remember him saying. I cannot recall his exact words anymore. i used to be able to. but, it has been a while since I last spoke to him, even before we got here"

everette's expression only faltered into more discomfort, his shoulders rising and falling with heavy breaths. whether they were meant to compose himself, or they were from losing his composure, it was unclear. he gripped onto the skin of his arms, almost absentmindedly like he didn't mean to do so. they looked quite different from before. the flesh was once so pristine, free of impurity. but now? they were covered in shallow scars. nicks, scratches, cuts alike.

he eyed nicholas again, the dirty look just barely offsetting the evident ache that was painted over the rest of him "but tell me, nicholas. when we got here, what did you 'hink was going to happen after a while? of course arguments were bound to stir up, of course disagreements and disputes were going to happen. and they will continue to do so. sure, perhaps for a little while at the start this place was some garden of eden to some of you. trees full of fruit, pristine waters, no adults to sully a good time"

"but then you take into account the selection of people here, and you realize something. 'hings were going to fall apart one way or another. whether that be between people our age, those who are older than us who should really know better, or even the littluns as 'hey kick sand into each other's eyes” his nails dug into his skin, but he continued to look nicholas dead in the eye. it was almost like he didn't notice the way it hurt, like he didn't mean to, he just did. and god knows why he did.

“we are in the middle of a war. we are stranded on a damned island with perhaps our only chance of salvation having already slipped from our fingers. do you think it matters to me who sees anymore? do you think i care about how it affects the others around when they overhear? I could care less about what they think! I don't— I don't care about how they perceive me, if that's what you think! I know i'm better 'han all of you, everyone else just has yet to get it through their numb skulls. i'll be revered as I was meant to be. I will"

"if they were truly scared, how about they just pry their eyes away and run off to some place where they don’t have to come across such sights? but no! you all still watch, don’t you?” as he spoke, his nails only dug deeper, threatening to draw blood. it was as if he was trying to claw and reach the sacrilegious nature of his soul. as if he was trying to pull out the hatred that ran deep in his veins, even if that meant hurting his body that was only so human.

“at least something comes out of it 'hough, right? according to you, all these quarrels and fights, they all piece together to craft a very original stage play for your very own personal viewing. entertainment, is that what you saw in it? find it pretty funny seeing me get my face beaten, didn't you, nicholas?"

"go off and find some more of it then if you find it so amusing. there’s plenty to go around here. maybe you can catch that god-awful merridew and ralph bickering with one another again. or here's some food for 'hought. perhaps you can even star in some little drama of your own. though, you aren't exactly star material. but, 'here are some exceptions. you would fit perfectly in a tragedy, you know? i would just adore seeing you die at the end. i'd go so far as to say that would be a picture perfect film" he scoffed, his gaze finally settling beyond the distant shore. he slowly uncrossed his arms, rubbing at them a bit. it was as if he thought he could wipe off the blemishes. how silly. don't you agree?

"now sod off, leave me alone. will you at the very least give me that much peace?" his voice cracked at the end. the tone of it still held an undeniable harshness, but if one were to listen closely, exhaustion had begun to lace itself at the ends. he brushed the tangles of his hair out at the bottoms, the curls at the edges barely maintained. he sighed, lowering himself down, sitting on the sand. the ocean waters came up, the seafoam nearly grazing him.

he thought that would be it, that nicholas would leave him alone. he would walk away, either being nice enough to give everette the loneliness that he wanted, or simply just being deterred enough from anything further. perhaps everette would even overhear a word or two dripping with newfound contempt slipping from the other's mouth as he did so. it was inevitable, it's what should have happened. but, that's not what the outcome ended up being.

the shadow that once loomed over him had gone away, only to be replaced with the very same presence, only now sitting beside him. patience is a heavenly virtue, and everette was far from the angel he claimed to be. the little patience he had was being held together by a singular thin thread, hung over his head. that thread had been cut clean as soon as nicholas began to speak once more, everette's restraint burning up more and more at each question that only acted as fuel to the flames in his lungs.

he turned to nicholas sharply, flinching backwards and away from him. his temper had come to a boil, his nerves ill at ease. the water that now washed up to his palms did nothing to cool the heat on his skin. he should have just got up and left, he didn't owe nicholas an answer. but, it was as if the words got ripped out from his throat, the defensive vices spilling from his lips like uncontrollable bile.

“why is it so hard to understand that i don't want you near me? keep me out of your filthy mouth, will you? i'm not hostile, nor do i lash out, but if you're making me out to be 'hat way then perhaps you are deserving to be on the receiving end of it! i’m just being honest, and it is not my fault that other people cannot handle the truth. if 'hey are going to take it so horribly, then so be it! i would gladly take isolation and have that familiar forsaken loneliness to plague me, over constantly surrounding myself with people who don't deserve to breathe the same air as me!"

"it is not my fault either 'hat i am simply just a cut above the rest of you. i have no need to make myself feel that way, what purpose would that serve? it would be absolutely redundant when i know i already am a step above all of you. and— and i am! i'm like this because— because" suddenly, his voice that had once been so loud and aggressive, fell into a hush. his eyes once so full of blatant frustration, went blank.

everette struggled to find his words, and for once, he stumbled over them. he stuttered and mumbled underneath his breath, incoherent muddled phrases leaving his lips, barely audible over the tides crashing into one another. he tried to form an explanation, even fabricate one if he had to. but, he couldn't. at least, none that he could admit to the other boy that he now looked away from, and more less himself.

he looked down at the sand, hugging his knees close to his chest. he felt awfully small, he was feeling like that a lot lately. his words came out worn and uneasy, quieter and more unsure than he had ever been before. “i don’t— I don't know, okay? why are you prying? are you trying to get something out of me so you can use it against me? spread it around to everyone else here who hates me? i've given them good reason to, you know”

everette was always faced with questions, and if not, then general interactions were constantly being offered instead. in turn, they were always met with varying, long winding responses. however, there was always one continuity. everette always insulted, berated, mocked or scorned. no one was excused from it because to him, everyone had something he could tear apart before stepping on the remains that resided beneath his shoe. in that awful sense, perhaps he did treat everyone with some form of equality.

the way he acted was a means to bring him safety, it acted as his security, even if it ended up warping his fate. so, what was he to do when it came to this? when someone did not approach him with curious naivety or the same vile scrutiny that he was so familiar with, but instead— genuine humanity? he was so confused, disorientated even. how was he supposed to act?

"I don't know— I don't. what do you want me to do? what can i do? i'm not like you, nicholas. i was born to be better, I was raised to be better, i'm supposed to be better. and thus i know that at the end of the day, the niceties that you preach will all be futile. this situation will either end with us dead, or alive long enough to make it off of here. and when that day comes, you all won't have to see me ever again. it’s going to end someday, one way or another. I don’t care about the means, as long as I get to the end. as long as I get to see her again"

"or maybe, do you want me to change? I can't, nicholas. i will always be my father’s son. bound by blood and yet not by heart nor soul" everette felt droplets of water hit the scraped skin of his knees. tear droplets. the tears trickled down his eyes in steady streams, warm against his skin, though the warmth brought no comfort. he hadn't even noticed, he couldn't even gauge when he first started to cry. but, there was no use in wiping them away anymore.

"I don't know why i'm saying all of this. against my better judgement i'm admitting all of this. 'hough, what I do know is that it's not to make you feel bad for me, if that's what you're assuming. i'm above that. i've above the pity you give out as some form of benevolent charity. I don't want nor need it, i'm not here to garner sympathy."

"i just— i think a part of me believes that if i don't take your little folly attempt to understand as my opportunity to, for once be vulnerable. then, perhaps one day, one of you would come across my bleeding body. all of the sins of human kind i’ve swallowed bleeding right out of my deceased being, instead of the confessions i am making right now as i sit here, still alive. telling them to you out of all people. i never would have thought. god, what do I make of myself anymore? what am I doing?"

he let a shaky breath in and out, tilting his head to look at nicholas— and for once, he didn't look like some amalgamation of corrupted verses from the testaments. everette looked like a child. a child who only knew how to hate for he never was loved enough. “truthfully, i just miss someone, nicholas. and, im sure you got a family who misses you. so does johnny, i assume. in that way, perhaps we are vaguely connected"

"but with how you are, and with who i am, i doubt friendship could ever come to fruition. I don't want to be friends. we're strangers, not equals, nor friends, who are only tied together by our situation as you mentioned yourself. but, if you mean it. we can talk here by the beach more. skip rocks, or what not? it'll be boring, but i think i would take boring over everything else that's going on right about now” his words were awkward, his voice foreign to even himself, but he was trying.

“that's my offer, since i turned down yours” and for once, something seemed to shift. not the tides, nor the wind, nor the boys' and their circumstance. but maybe, for once, something within everette did.

— everette ainsworth 🪽 nicholas @conchcorner

& johnny @conchcorner mentioned

mention @ask-abel-lotf

mention @white-wysteria

mention @bubos-apothecary

mention @henrys-eulogy-aflame

[mina-posts-nonsense]

thank you so much for the detailed reply to my ask ! i asked (or yapped) as anon because i was scared i’d get cooked lmfao so really thank you for being so kind and open minded in your reply and for sharing your thoughts (and indeed reading and replying!!)

this is moreso a reply to the reblog section than the ask, im really sorry i just found it easier to reply to first!

I've kept thinking about this because it makes for some very interesting food for thought. I think it's a reasonable interpretation of why Atsushi fights Akutagawa, but I offer: Atsushi fighting Akutagawa's evil is not rejecting the headmaster's worldview, it's acting according to it.

so this was me talking from atsushi’s point of view, how he thinks he can free himself from the voice taunting him inside his head, he tries it through killing/fighting akutagawa (they agreed to a death match), much like in beast where he decides to kill / confront his abuser to be rid of the headmaster’s influence over him.

I think for someone like atsushi who just had to sit there and take the pain and for no reason other than “hatred”:

…one of the most cathartic (?) (what he assumes will give him catharsis) things is the ability to fight back against his abuser, proving that he’s no longer that powerless boy under the his care who just had to submit to the idea he was hurt for living:

…all that rage and frustration at his own helplessness he can finally do something about it, and im just assuming that he is looking for that sort of release. (much like akutagawa in heartless cur was looking for a face to blame his pain on, atsushi had a face, he simply couldn’t do anything to it). exactly as you said, he has an outlet for his hatred and he can finally do something with his hatred and he decides to deny akutagawa’s strength and free himself from the “yoke” of the headmaster.

again this isn’t me trying to say akutagawa = headmaster, but moreso showing how atsushi might equate them. i think atsushi is trying to prove that nobody needs a justification to live and nobody should live based on their “value”, where the headmaster drilled into him that he MUST save people or else he doesn’t have a justification for his own existence. akutagawa then drilled into kyouka’s head that without killing she is worthless / doesn’t deserve to live, as a result atsushi says that he can’t feel any emotion from her, she’s just a killing machine-> another case of someone else determining the value / justification of someone’s life and the consequences of that viewpoint (how emotionless kyouka is)

atsushi is trying to reject the notion of anyone “doing anything” to deserve life, which is why i called it a “rejection of the headmaster’s (hence akutagawa’s) worldview”. i think he sees the headmaster’s viewpoint AS EVIL (akutagawa is inherently evil for believing in the same thing) because it was used to justify his abuse, and he hated the pain, hated the viewpoint that led to the pain. akutagawa’s introduction is him word for word sprouting the headmaster’s abusive words that just by existing, atsushi is inherently a burden who brings misfortune, who, because he was abandoned needs to endure pain to live.

so i don’t see him accepting the death battle as “fighting evil (headmaster version)” hence submitting to the headmaster’s viewpoint, but trying to guide himself out of it, to be free from his teachings by fighting someone with that viewpoint, dominating it. it’s his own personal evil, not the headmaster’s evil iygwim.

because personally, i think he has a very defiant will and we’ve seen him try to reject that world view in his introduction itself:

stealing is certainly “evil” and he’s been punished (undeservedly) for it MANY times:

…and yet he was prepared to steal to survive, even if he was told that those who don’t do good don’t deserve to live. he wants to live, regardless of if he’s a burden, regardless of if he deserves it and even at the expense of hurting rather than saving others. he does have to be manipulated into joining the agency too, even though the agency is a perfect place to save people he really, really didn’t want to join.

the only thing that’s stopping him from living life how he wants to is his abuse, he was made to feel inherently sinful and wrong, he thinks he must do things to prove worthy of life, hence acts self sacrificially. in the train scene, it’s the idea that because of him the passanfsrs are in danger, hence if he saves them he can live:

ig negating the misfortune he supposedly inherently createsz [

also atsushi already had his own reasons for saving people, he simply cannot stand seeing people in pain - because he’s been through that same sort of pain and they remind him of himself, thus he cannot leave them:

so he doesn’t just do good for the sake of the headmaster (i.e. to justify living, (although i suppose it is because of the headmaster has had such high level of empathy???) equally i don’t think he fights evil for the headmaster either, it is sort of personal to him when he fights:

who is fukuchi to determine the weight of people’s lives? to make that decision on whether or not they deserve to life? who says that they need to do anything to be deserving OF living? so both doing good and fighting evil don’t have to be equated with follow the headmaster’s will.

]

this is how atsushi’s burden is first shown:

it’s to do with the requirement to save people to justify living, moreso than the eradication of evil. and again here’s the other scene:

it’s not a bad thing to save people’s yet atsushi expresses the desire for revenge (again something he has in common with beast atsushi) as i said earlier, the catharsis from being powerful and being able to fight his tormentors- he’s also literally haunted by the “requirement to save people”.

so i think of “i’ll also be free from his yoke” and “that’s what i need to do to deny akutagawa’s strength”, is atsushi’s way of fighting against his chosen “abuser stand-in”, with yoke = burden / servitude, it’s rejecting the idea that anyone needs to do something of value to go on living, it’s also him trying to shut that voice in his head that tells him to throw himself onto a bomb to justify existing since he actually does want to live. he doesn’t want to throw himself onto a bomb! it’s not “to serve the headmaster’s will by stomping out evil”, but free himself from the headmaster’s will that forces him to lay his life down in service for others. (he saves kyouka because even if worthless humans don’t get to exist, even if all she’s good for is killing (an evil according to the headmaster), she says that crepe was delicious, why does she need to earn the right to live by killing people? why can’t she simply live for the sake of being happy like that? doesn’t her showing emotion also show that she can change? her life doesn’t have to be “for killing”, simply put he wanted to save her rather than being compelled to like on the train.)

so when im referring to evil within that ask, it’s this sort of evil. it’s not the headmaster’s evil (which kyouka would fall under), but what atsushi deems “fundamentally” evil, the evil that crushes the weak like him underfoot and the (philosophical) evil that says people need to do something to deserve life. kyouka can be easily loved since she doesn’t fit under his definition of unforgivable evil. (he probably has a greater definition of it but those are the two “triggers” that i see most clearly), akutagawa however is exactly evil like the headmaster.

so my view is that atsushi can never love that fundamental evil, as a person he is defiant and stubborn in that way, but what he can love if that evil changes, such as him mourning the headmaster after finding out the truth about how he covered up the tiger secret / injected him with nutrients / locked him up to make sure the tiger didn’t wreak havoc. so it’s not loving the evil, but loving the kindness that an evil man showed him. similarly, akutagawa must show him goodness, like saving a helpless girl and giving his life to save atsushi regardless of his harsh words and previous murder attempts.

BUT objectively, i can definitely agree that in his attempt at freeing himself he might be taking on the headmaster’s viewpoint instead of rejecting it. it’s definitely true that the headmaster is proud of him doing good, as we see with the whole bouquet thing. just within the context of that ask, it was more to do with what atsushi found evil (unforgivable) than referring to the headmaster’s teaching of saving people and fighting evil. apologies for not making that clear.

personally, i think agency (or reclaiming agency) is important within atsushi’s story, he wants the power to never be hurt again and he wants the power to deny people needing to do something to live. he doesn’t want to feel like he HAS to save lives in order to live himself but he WANTS to save lives because they remind him of himself- thus his substitute is “getting revenge on the headmaster in sickly victorian boy form” to free him from that burden. so i think this was a genuine attempt of atsushi’s to free himself from the headmaster rather than following his will and it might have even worked depending on how hard he projected onto akutagawa and the strength of his support system ig. but probably not, honestly for the both of them killing isn’t the solution to healing their trauma, there’s no quick fix to healing after all.

again thank you for the reply and i hope this wasn’t too incoherent.

this is related to your ask about akutagawa as a failed protector (super interesting answer btw), you said you wanted a story where atsushi loves akutagawa despite his evilness- but do you think that’s possible? or are you talking about him trying and failing to be good which atsushi acknowledges and loves?

from my perspective, atsushi could only love akutagawa when he’s making good decisions and trying to be good, when they first met he was the embodiment of evil and atsushi was ready to put a round of bullets in his back and later on the ship he hits him full tiger arm and leaves him on a ship set to explode (not saying he was wrong for that, just emphasising his hatred for that sort of evil that crushes the weak- which the headmaster also represented), he even states that it is akutagawa’s inherent evil nature that led to him being deservedly abandoned by dazai and he says so twice. he thinks fighting akutagawa will also lead to him being freed from the headmaster since akutagawa still represents the headmaster’s evil and philosophical, dominance over akutagawa is him rejecting that world view. (btw not saying that atsushi doesn’t care since he does save him several times and we get the riding scene👀 after he sees akutagawa being upset just about his actions toward akutagawa’s evil nature-he’s willing to kill to be rid of it without any conflict-> although his life was also on the line but there’s no remorse for the second- again not a bad thing, just a thing that exists)

it’s only after akutagawa saves him and shows evidence of being good (not killing aya) that he literally pulls his punches in constrast to before, and that began with akutagawa fighting alongside him and giving him support physically but also kinda emotionally. it’s not a 1on1 comparison but akutagawa can give his ability to his enemy and leave himself defenceless but atsushi couldn’t do the same (i.e. fight in front trusting akutagawa’s cloth defence)- so it depends on akutagawa softening first- i see it as a more reciprocated love, conditional on him being good to atsushi/good in general, but even then atsushi can’t fully trust him, he’s surprised at the random guard being alive because he doesn’t believe that his evilness can change until he’s shown direct proof.

sorry i yapped a lot but basically i think atsushi can’t ever love fundamentally evil being, he doesn’t even fully believe that sort of evil can change (until akutagawa shows him) and he can’t give unconditional goodwill toward that sort of evil either. (with kyouka it was always clear that she didn’t want to do this, she was being used as a means for someone else. she did have a talent for killing but jusf having that desire to NOT kill shows her nature- atsushi first saw her trying to be different-> hence she was easy to love.) akutagawa has to be good to earn his trust/affection.

Thank you for your insightful commentary!! This is a perfectly agreeable and canon-supported position. My personal interpretation of Atsushi's character doesn't quite align with it as you are going to see, but your take is likely to be even more faithful to canon than mine.

Can Atsushi love Akutagawa despite his evilness? Does he love Akutagawa for the sole action of trying to be good? For how I see it, how good or evil Akutagawa is matters to Atsushi a lot less than Atsushi himself believes it does. Atsushi loves Akutagawa, loves Akutagawa, it doesn't matter if Akutagawa is good or evil or trying to be good and failing. And that's because Atsushi is just one big hypocrite, because he himself doesn't act good for goodness' sake. Atsushi's paradox is that he only does good because that allows him to live; there's no true good, true altruistic inclination in it, and when one only does good for selfish reasons¹, I struggle to call it doing good at all. Not in the conventional meaning of doing good vs. doing evil, anyway. So why would Atsushi hate Akutagawa for being evil when deep down not even Atsushi acts out of pure goodness? I think this is further proved by Beast Atsushi being who he is: despite their upbringing being the same, Beast Atsushi turned out to be someone who works for the side of evil with no particular remorse. That further shows how Atsushi doesn't care that much about what side is morally virtuous. He will call Akutagawa a monster for killing people, and then he will point a gun at him. He will call Akutagawa evil, and then he will not do anything truly good himself. He is just one big hypocrite.

But watch out, Atsushi believes he does good. He believes he hates Akutagawa because he's all evil and he can't stand that; he believes that he's good, and that Akutagawa is evil. Atsushi is simply not honest with himself on the real reason why he hates Akutagawa, which includes:

Hating him for hurting his friends;

Hating him for the way he treated Kyouka, that triggered his “people can't live unless someone tells them ‘it's okay to go on’ ” complex;

Hating him for the vague nauseous feeling that Akutagawa is like himself, and thus being disgusted by thinking he has that kind of evil in him;

Hating him for being the assigned embodiment of evil; protecting the weak, defeating the ultimate evil, is all the validation Atsushi needs to live.

The last point is the most important of them all. Atsushi hates Akutagawa not because of the evil he does, or for the people he hurts; he hates Akutagawa because by hating him he gains validation to live.

So you see, once Atsushi gets over this sort of validation-for-his-own-life complexes - more like, when someone is finally going to tell him “it's okay to go on”, and that person surprisingly being Akutagawa himself -, he probably will find it pointless to hate Akutagawa, no matter how evil he is or the amount of good he does.

On a very different yet related note; it's also simply like… A more realistic conception of love. In real life, you don't love someone thinking about whether they're good or evil or how much time they spend stopping doing evil and trying to do good. You love them because they're them! Because of their personality. I think Atsushi would love Akutagawa because he's Akutagawa– for every part of him. And that does end up including loving Akutagawa for how he tries to do good sometimes, why not! But it's not any more important than loving Akutagawa for how awkward he acts around kids, for the way he speaks funny, for his stupid dry humor. It's just that he's Akutagawa, and he's the person Atsushi wants to be with, you know?

¹ The author themself admitted this: “He doesn't fight for a person, nor for everyone. He fights for himself, to gain his permission to live.”

[daydreamerdrew]

The Avengers (1963) #76

[rexonalapis]

it is very telling that average genshin players cannot comprehend seeing an actual mature, qualified leader that is actually good at taking her job seriously after meeting archons who either is still childish, clowning whimsically, or straight up incompetent.

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Broke (2016): BBC Sherlock is a phenomenal piece of media and anything that seems like a flaw just hasn't been fully explored yet

Woke (2020): BBC Sherlock is an incredibly flawed series run by an egotistical writer, it never deserved the hype and is actively bad on so many fronts (especially representation)

Bespoke (2024): BBC Sherlock is flawed and bogged down by increasingly poor writing, which many fans refused to see while it was airing, leading to hugely misplaced expectations (particularly for the final series), AND it has the seeds of some compelling characterizations and portrayals, some genuinely solid performances, and touches--albeit imperfectly--on complexities that are still being discussed today (particularly as it relates to the relationship between Sherlock and John). The huge cultural impact of the show has created a massive pendulum effect in its public perception, leading to most people today remembering a caricature of the show (whether positive or negative) rather than appreciating its nuanced merits and failings...that being said Season 4 sucked

[patricide1885]

Im going to take a few cracks at this, because it's a good, although kinda taboo and potentially dangerous question.

There are good reasons to kill people. What good reasons are there to rape people that can't be satisfied by killing them? Rape is always about leveraging power dehumanizing people for your own satisfaction, this isn't so with murder in the same way, and while it can be true it's less so with torture - because you care about the person's experience enough to want them to suffer, if that makes sense. Someone talking about torture would also be considered to be maladjusted and unhealthy. But with rape, the community can't abide by people viewing people in such an objectifying way that could be dangerous for everyone involved. That person is absolutely a risk to the community. A murderer or even a torturer may not be.

It is also something that we haven't processed as a society/maybe we can't process it as a society ever. I think it is because the interpersonal power differential that makes living in community inherently uneasy when exploited puts all of reality into disarray. The point of society is for us all to be in agreement that we won't do these certain things, because if we do, being around others is more dangerous than being away from others and society falls apart.

There are parts of society where rape is accepted. But in those parts, it is wrapped back up into the social fabric "acceptably" so that stability isnt unraveled. Ie. People who think rape is okay in marriage. People who think rape is ok if you're a Japanese soldier raping a member of a conquered people. People who think you can rape slaves. And everyone who doesn't share these mentalities understand how dangerous these mentalities are which is why:

The taboo nature is protective - there's so much unspeakable complexity that would be destructive to hash out and cannot be simplified. It's the thing that should not be named because naming it can easily open one to more emotional damage if someone isn't empathetic, so the community strongly puts up boundaries around it to prevent such faux pas, they also want to send the message that this is a line that simply cannot be passed period and there is no redemption. This goes doubly for things like CSA.

We can let murders rejoin societies in many instances, but if you're a rapist, there's always going to be that unease.

Also, this is a website full of people who are significantly more likely to be the victims of rape than the perpetrators. Some male spaces online in some regards don't have this functional taboo because they are ok with rape, they're not going to suffer from it, and if they do, it's so unspeakable that they won't even discuss it as a victim.

Now for example if men are around women in any capacity, talking about wanting to rape someone else, even if it's Trump, marks him as a dangerous person. And it's a very reasonable and wise assumption to make. Which means no one of "the good ones" in terms of men is going to say such a thing. And if a woman said it, due to the way social relationships are constructed, that would be seen as a turn on to a man, which ultimately just objectifies the woman saying it.

It generally seems like on internet spaces like tumblr it has become more or less “okay” to say that bad people should kill themselves or that you hope so and so evil rich person dies (which I hope they never take away our ability to say that on here)

But I was wondering… why does it still seem taboo to say that someone should be raped? Is rape worse than murder? Is it wrong to say a bad person should be raped in a flippant Internet jokey way?

Or taking it a step further, if you’re a leftist who believes that there are CEOs and such who deserve the guillotine or need to face the wall, is it wrong to say they should be raped? I ask this because I saw tons of people using this hashtag lmao

[simcardiac-arrested]

no actually I’d like to hear your thoughts on the isat ending

Like i said it felt really tropey and by that i meant that it’s just Everything Good Happens forever and…..that’s it ? like idk we were building up to this huge catharsis sort of thing and then we got to it and it was so sudden and not a good payoff and just kind of nothingburger of an ending . the fact that everyone just forgives siffrin bothers me, or at least the fact that they don’t confront them about the shit they’ve said and done. call me a mental illness villainizer but i think if you’re a fucking asshole and doing the most insensitive things to the people you care about then hey, i think those ppl have a right to fucking tell you off for it. likeeee idk being at your lowest point …… not an excuse …. not feeling it chief ……. like sure the message is to move past your mistakes or whatever but ? that doesn’t mean just getting away with it ??? and i just really don’t understand Why everyone forgives him. honestly at the end of the day the ending is just one problem, the root of which are the characters. everyone feels like trope cardboard cutouts. oh, this is the smart one. this is the smol bean. this is the himbo. and they all care for each other btw. Did u hear that? they all care for each other. we’re not really going to explain to you why these people are so close or what they went through together but just trust me man they’re sooo found famy. like …. okay. i’ve played 30 hours of this game and not once did i buy that any of the characters really cared about each other. like??? why???? You’re telling me everyone super cares about siffrin even though they barely know them?? you’re telling me siffrin cares about everyone sooo much even though he never even bothered to find out their problems before ? Wat ? and this just breaks the ending more because literally whyyy do these people care about him so bad. and then it’s just whyyy does siffrin Have to tell them anything he doesn’t even seem to know them that well. everyone feels like colleagues and Just Friends at best. and so the ending just seems really forced. like it was written by that type of tumblr user who’s always talking about aww why does the found family have to break up after the end of the journey :( which is like fiiiiine. i guess. but u guys know that u have to build up to it right?? you can’t just tell me they’re Family Members(tm) 102829 times and that they super care about each other source: trust. you can’t just do that and then expect me to believe it ….. It feels unearned. the ending feels unearned and i don’ttttt understand what i’m supposed to take away from it . that it’s ok to fuck people up because you’re traumatized and insecure?? that you have to talk about your deepest problems with people you barely know??? i just dont know. Like i said if im being honest the problems with this game’s writing are more than just the ending, it just stands out so much because there’s a lot of build up and then just …… That

[torgawl]

if you call himmel pathetic i'm throwing hands at you. himmel showed the purest form of love for frieren and you guys think that's pathetic? what's pathetic is not respect other people's feelings or boundaries and acting like people owe you anything just because you like them. himmel was happy to have a friendship with frieren within her own conditions just because he genuinely enjoyed her as part of his life. he was happy to wait for her for his entire life is he had to but he also never stopped living for himself. that's fucking beautiful. loving someone so much you are able to let them go, not wanting to change who they are or impose anything on them? unconditionally, nonetheless? that's the point of life.

[obligatory-name-change]

i like the concept of a huskerdust overlord!husk au but like. it is very much just being sold to one direction

[psychopomp-namine]

@lyd1adeetzz I am always happy to talk about the twins lol. replying through a reblog because... word count.

I've already talked about it at length here though, so I'll just copy paste the parts relevant to this post:

which is why I think post-reconstruction ima is so fascinating because it happens at the point where he has already accepted kako as an equal and he tries to be less overbearing. at the same time, he gained a new body, and there are hints that he actually shares some memories with sirei. I think, given their backstory, ima already had a complicated relationship with his body (and the reconstruction just adds more on top of that), but ultimately, ima-as-sirei allows him that extra physical distance from kako. he, quite literally, had to become a person outside of “kako’s twin brother” and “kako’s protector.” he no longer looks like kako nor can he even use hemoanima or even just fight at all. but ima without his kako responsibilities? he doesn’t know who that person is. so he assumes the role sirei once did. and I think that, because he was enjoying pretending to be sirei (and everyone else was fine with it) it allowed him to finally make connections with other people during the prologue. like he was REALLY into being a commanding officer and planning the excursion and actually helping drive the plot forward, figuring out the mysteries. he gets to do things and show more of his personality that aren’t strictly about/for kako! he’s contrarian and strategic and observant and plans for the worst case scenarios. maybe he actually shares an interest in mystery solving with kako, but he would have never known that as an inherent desire for himself. in any other situation, he’d be convinced that he probably likes it because kako likes it, and anything kako likes is good. you don’t really start to know the non-kako side of ima until very late into the first 100 days. maybe ima himself didn’t know either

in essence, ima-as-sirei could have been an interesting way to explore ima's identity (or truly, his lack thereof). ima defines himself as "kako's twin" and "kako's protector" and "the sibling that takes on all the shameful work so kako can remain pure and innocent and safe" and all of that is taken away from him without his consent. without that, he has to actually... figure out his own identity.

and also just, on a practical level. we know that ima takes care of his appearances because of his work. when he gets sirei's body, not only is he unable to protect kako physically, he also:

is in a position where he can do nothing but trust that kako can take care of herself and that kako will protect him (since he cannot use the revive-o-matic)

no longer has a body that is tied to his previous work, so any hangups he has over that (and he probably has many of them) is something he can perhaps try to untangle since the sirei body puts an additional distance to all of that

but that also means that, if he had survived the war, I just know ima was already thinking about, "okay what's my next job gonna be to provide for kako? how can I be useful in this body?"

if he has sirei's body, sure he doesn't have to go back to his old work, but he might also be forever tied to military work. which also isn't really good?

this situation also begs the question: if they switched places, would ima have asked yugamu to reconstruct kako?

plus, ima grew up distrusting adults. so I think he got a kick out of being the commanding officer to his senpais lol. and I mean, he was doing a pretty good job, all things considered! so, good for him!

we even see the effects of this too. when ima-as-sirei was coming up with the plan and selecting who would check out the base, he was okay with kako staying at the academy and being separated from her. he actually talks to other people without bringing up kako every 5 minutes. (minor spoilers for coming of age ->) in coa, during the slumber party, ima said he actually enjoyed it since he didn't really have any friends. so like. him just starting to have interpersonal connections with other people he's also starting to care about, even if it's through "mission work," is already a huge step for him.

it also hints a little bit about kako's own thoughts on their relationship. I think it's easy to fall into the idea the she wants to be free of their previous dynamic for her own personal independence, but what she wants is for ima to be free of his self-imposed duty. and, more importantly, she can also be selfish about ima (<- said without any judgement). like, she could have let ima die. ima would have been fine staying dead if it means kako lives for another day. but he lives another day, as sirei.

kako said something like, (non-verbatim) "if he wakes up and doesn't like it, I'll kill him myself" which is such an interesting characterization moment for her. I mean yeah, ima would be totally fine with kako killing him too, but let's think about this. is there ever a reality where ima will tell kako that he hates that she asked him to be reconstructed?

we might never know what ima actually thinks about this, because he'll always say that he's okay with it if kako is happy. and he'll believe his own words. and maybe he is genuinely okay with it! but given their backstory... I think ima having body autonomy issues is quite likely. "your body is a product" and all that. selling your body, forced body modification... it's whatever. to ima, those are the cards he's dealt with. and he's gonna deflect and be nonchalant and just accept that this is his lot in life. which, idk. is very sad to me.

of course, all this character exploration never really happens because, well. yeah. but I think ima-as-sirei could have been an interesting first step for ima to think about what it means to be his own person. which, at the end of the day, is all kako wants for him.

// route 0 spoilers

people saying "lol remember when they turned ima into sirei. what was that about" and I'm just here gritting my teeth so I don't join the conversation but it matters!! they didn't explore it too deeply but ima kinda needed to be forced into that!! and it gave kako depth!! oughhh I'm going insanse... is this what eito defenders feel like about their blorbo. I wish they actually explored this more and how ima-as-sirei changed their relationship in subtle ways, but unfortunately takumi doesn't really care lol, so why would they

[gregrulzok]

What I find really really compelling about Laios' special interest is this:

As a person who's special interest is dogs, I'll tell you right now that I fucking love them. I live in a city full of strays, and I actively go out of my way to pet, play with, and interact with them. It brings me a lot of joy and comfort to be able to be surrounded by puppies.

I will also be the first to tell you that, like it or not, dogs are animals - and animals, ultimately, can be unpredictable. They can be scared, they can be territorial, and they can be impulsive. And while I genuinely believe that there's no such thing as a bad dog or an angry dog - only a scared one - I also don't believe it makes a functional difference once a dog has bitten you what intentions it may have had.

Dogs are dangerous. I've seen people get bitten, I've been bitten, I've had close calls, some of which were my own fault and others which were not.

And Laios reflects this so beautifully, especially in the Kelpie arc. He's not blinded by his love for these creatures, he's not overtaken by baseless empathy - he understands, understands better than anyone, that these are at the end of the day monsters, and they are dangerous, and when push comes to shove sometimes you've just got to kill them. In fact it's his love for them that lands him this knowledge and understanding in the first place - just as I know that there's no room for fear and weakness when it comes to interacting with dogs, he knows there's no room for hesitation and empathy when it comes to interacting with montsers.

It's so fucking realistic of someone who genuinely researches and cares about these creatures, rather than superficially "liking animals" and then trying to assign human qualities to inherently inhuman creatures.

God.

Laios is fantastic fucking representation.

[nunyabznsbabes]

Katniss is like Lucy Gray this, Katniss is like Sejanus that, and yes fine that's all good and true and lovely but Katniss Everdeen is also a direct parallel to Coriolanus Snow and people NEED to start talking about this because it's driving me crazy.

Think about it: they both grew up poor and deeply vulnerable, losing parents at a very young age, with a matriarchal adult (Katniss' mother and Coriolanus' Grandma'am) who fails to provide for them emotionally and physically. They intimately understand the threat of starvation, even developing with stunted growth because of it, and their narrations in the books share a fixation on food. Throughout their childhoods, both experienced constant fear and suffered a fundamental lack of control over their circumstances. Because of this, they're inherently suspicious of the people around them. They resent feeling indebted to others, especially those who have saved their lives. They're motivated almost entirely by family and deeply connected to their communities. Both are used and manipulated by the Capitol, both are forced to perform to survive and despise every inch of it, both are thrown into the Arena and made to kill. Both have a self-sacrificial, genuinely sweet sister figure acting as their conscience. Peeta and Lucy Gray - performers and love interests with a fundamental kindness and sense of hope about them - fulfill markedly similar roles in their narrative. Both contribute to the development of the future Hunger Games, Snow throughout tbosas and Katniss towards the end of Mockingjay.

It's easy to ignore these similarities because, as mirrors of each other, they are exact opposites. Katniss is from District 12, viewed and treated as less than human; Snow is the cream of the Capitol crop, given the privilege of a name with social weight, an ancestral home, and the opportunity of the Academy despite having no more money than a miner from 12. Katniss has no agency over her life, and responds by being kind whenever she's able, while Snow justifies horrendous evils in order to continue his quest for complete control. Katniss does everything she can to protect her family; Snow does everything he can to protect his family's image as an extension of his own ego. Katniss loves her District and connects with its inhabitants on a meaningful level, but Snow is indifferent at best to his peers - the apparent "superior people" - and only engages with his community for personal gain. Katniss emerges from the Arena horrified at herself and the system, but Snow takes his trauma and turns it into an excuse to perpetuate the violence with himself at the top. Katniss cares for Prim until her death and then snaps at the loss of her little sister, while Snow survives on Tigris' blood, sweat, and tears and then torments and abandons her, presumably because she calls him out on his insanity. Snow actively adds to and popularizes the Hunger Games because of his vendetta against the Districts following his childhood wartime trauma - Katniss briefly agrees to a new Hunger Games (which is arguably a facade to trick Coin), but later definitively stops them from happening by killing Coin and choosing a life of peace and privacy. Snow is obsessed with revenge, but Katniss empathizes with the Capitolites and does what she can to keep them from suffering. He exists in a cruel system and selfishly upholds it; she exists in a cruel system and works to dismantle it for the good of her family and community, at great personal cost. And Peeta and Lucy Gray are incredibly similar, but Katniss and Peeta forge a relationship of genuine love and understanding that shines in comparison to Coriolanus' obsessive projection onto Lucy Gray.

So, yeah, Katniss is Lucy Gray haunting Coriolanus. But I bet you anything that eighty-something year old President Snow looks at her, the girl on fire, and thinks that he sees the ghost of his own past: bright and young and brilliant, emerging from a childhood of starvation with a relentless hunger for success, a talented and charming performer helping her win the Games. And that's why he's so afraid of her! Because if he sees himself in her, then he's up against his own cunning, his own talent for manipulation, his own charisma, his own genius. He reads her wrong, obviously, but it means that in his mind he's up against the version of himself that he could have been, with the nightmare army of his childhood at her back and her star-crossed lover at her side, spewing Sejanus' truths in his own voice. This isn't to say that Katniss ever achieved the level of power and agency that Coriolanus did during her time with the rebellion, but it is to say that Snow was taken down by what truly terrified him - his own morality, come to finish the job.

[cup-o-stars]

Relativity Falls!

Design Concepts (and my unnecessary thoughts):

Excuse the the colors, ig my apps are fighting.

I see Mabel finding success no matter what happens to her, but I really like the thought of her running an insane arts and crafts business in GF. Alternatively, if she fell in the portal, she'd come out acting confident as always, but she probably wouldn't realize how much the constant change and lack of family/stability wore her out until she settled back in. In either case, she's a bit cracked.

Dipper is investigative, but cracks easiest under stress and is not as inherently adventurous as Mabel or Ford- so the portal wouldn't treat him well. If he's not the one in the portal, he'd be into stargazing and real magic to share with people, while also warding tourists away from the dangerous stuff. In general, he'd be an unhappy adult if left to his own devices, lol.

Between Dipper and Mabel, I like Dipper being in the portal more. He's a great protagonist, but as a supporting cast member, he needs to be more insane to match the draw that is 'Mabel taking care of children,' ha. I also love the idea of there being no portal / some other looming threat for these two to struggle with (at least because Hirsche has made it clear that Dipper and Mabel are equally smart, and to me it seems like the portal would reopen way quicker with them), but I didn't plan on posting these and I don't know how my followers feel about me posting lore.

Stanford and Stanley:

Pretty much how they are in canon, but now they're in a setting where they can get over themselves, ha. They aren't quite as mature as Dipper and Mabel were at their age, but after coming to GF, they finally found other people to look out for them. Dipper could be a more emotionally available and level-headed role model (I think having people to take care of is calming for him in turn), and they'd both look up to Mabel as the peak of somebody who knows how to socialize.

Fiddleford:

He's a sweet, southern, farm-raised mechanical engineer just like in canon.

Idk why Fiddleford is in GF (visiting an unnamed grandparent?), but I really like his relationship with Ford in the journal. Following that thought, in this AU, he starts out more of Ford's friend than Stan's, and it's kind of a big deal. Unlike Dipper's arc on learning to be a kid, Stan and Ford clearly struggled a lot with interpersonal relationships / finding security outside of eachother, and that's what I think this AU could be about (it's great they realized they need each other in canon, but the part where they had no one else to turn to is also kinda crazy if you ask me).

Ford gets to meet another smart kid in a weird town, which helps him feel more normal. He has a better idea of what friendship is because of it, but also, since I can't imagine Dipper wanting an apprentice so young/vulnerable/impressionable or Mabel asking only one of the twins to stay- he'd have to come to terms with the fact that he can't live in his dream world forever. (Or maybe the apprenticeship comes from somewhere else, just because the conflict around going back to Glass Shard Beach at all, or sending Stan alone could be pretty good.)

On the flipside, I think Stan's initial jealousy of Ford and Fiddleford's friendship would force him to try finding his own friends / hobbies. I like the idea that he fails at first- and a lot- but Mabel notices his mounting frustration (which he is very keen on hiding), and her consistent and unorthodox support makes him realize he wasn't alone to begin with. He can be more open around her, which makes it easier to open up to others, and then he can make friends without having to pull any tricks. He probably starts with some animals, and then at least gets closer to Fiddleford anyways (I feel like they're both more practical than Ford and value human company more, so they'd bond easier once Stan gets over his personal hurdle).

Anyways- because that was way too much- Mabel's exes are a constant source of antagonists and Dipper is stressed about setting a good example.

(I was more of a Monster Falls fan back in the day, but I can't draw animals, lol)

[peanutheaddd]

forgot abt my fantasy au for a hot sec (thoughts abt this au under cut ^_^)

yolay is counting the days down til she can be come queen and completely rework the system from the ground up LLLLOOOOLLLLLL

sarah has grudges against the government which is why she runs an underground news outlet . this is also why she and yolay get along. i like to think she was complaining abt the kingdom 2 her without realizing she was the princess and yolay was like I agree with u 100%. U should be my advisor when i become queen. (YURI WIN!)

dog man is created bc he + knight get cursed (by petey) . irreversible btw

i think dog man plays some kind of small wind instrument in this au (pan flute mayhaps) . and he teaches lil petey. i js dont think hed play the piano bc of the setting .

i didnt draw nurse lady but shes a cleric .

petey abandons lil petey in the woods in this au (im thinking it was Somewhat on accident. he was walking too fast and he kinda knew it and when he lost lil petey he was like well . taht worked out ig <- guy who is about to feel remorse so great it crushes his soul)

dog man finds lil petey bc hes on patrol or smth . or hes js running through the woods. knowing him its probs the latter

the ourple stones on petey and lil peteys fits are js magic stones . lil peteys stone has a protection spell cast on it . idk abt peteys. i think the cuff stones inherently have magic in them and the cloak + belt stones he imbued w his own magic .

petey is a magic user but he understands the effectiveness of using machinery . thus artificer (ty to person who rbed my first post of this au asking if petey is an artificer bc i had no idea that was even a thing . but that is def him dawg)

peteys main vessels for magic r the purple stones and lilac flowers (stones for defensive/ability enhancing spells and lilacs for destructive spells) . he can use other things in a pinch but he js prefers those .

dog mans main job in this au is to be yolays personal guard . mostly at yolays insistence bc she fw dog man heavy . i think she tends to have a better day when dog mans guarding her js bc he cares less abt maintaining strict etiquette and . well yk . hes dog man. goling

in this universe theres an asl equivalent (so js a sign language for deaf people) but theres also a sign language used by thieves . this is a language that petey knows and hes the one who ends up teaching dog man how to sign . altho it results in dog man only being able to use it to talk to petey and some criminals. but he probs ends up learning the common sign language through that

theres probs more but i cant think of anything ^_^ LOL so thats it