#which is ofc mainly my own fault

[lateseptemberdawn]

insane how i made this acc for my ig page and like for literature and bookstagramming things and instead i'm doing...this. wtv this is T_T

[mrfoox]

God im... Probably too nice but it's fine

[tree0frog]

hiya!! i was wondering if i could ask for rosie, lucifer, charlie, and angel with a teen reader who’s always very sweet, charismatic, and soft spoken, but suffers with a sad past:(

it’s a wonder to everyone why she’s in hell in the first place, she never talks about her life back when she was alive

one day *character* walks in on reader having a ptsd induced panic attack, once reader calms down, for the first time ever she opens up about her past life. her dad abandoned her at a young age, her mom committed suicide, then the man who adopted her when she was 13 just abused her and pimped her out to his friends until she killed him n ran away for the sake of her own survival which was the sin that landed her in hell:/ something additional is the panic attacked being caused because reader ran into her abuser, even in death she can’t escape him.

also all characters have a platonic relationship with reader ofc, rosies like a mom, charlie and angel are like a big brother and sister, and lucifer is an eventual dad figure, reader being the one who changes his mind abt sinners

p.s this isn’t based on irl or anything (thank god) it’s just kinda an oc request but i understand if it still makes u uncomfy that rlly isn’t my intention:(

hi so sorry this took so long i wasn't sure how to write this so I do apologies if this is wrong by any means!!

tw~hell breaks down blood swearing self-harm Abuice

You were the youngest siner within the hotel it sadden some of them{mainly Charlie} that you were down here so young, the group had learned that you didn't want to talk about why you ended in hell and respected it.

that was until

Charlie

now i see charlie as someone who as much as she wanted to help you can be she will end up crying along beside you even if you don't know why she is crying she is.

loves hugs as a form of comfort but will understand that sometimes they can be too much for you and will settle for just sitting beside you if you let her.

She will play music if you write to her.

and will help you clean up any mess that you may of made from yourself or by slowly messing up your room.

is a good listener and will let you draw or write how you are felling if you are not up for talking.

Rosie

omg she is the best out of them all!!

if you have hurt yourself before when you are having an episode she will sit with you and hold your hands or remove anything that she thinks you could use to hurt yourself or someone else away from your reach.

will give you tea and let me tell you she makes the best tea.

she will play classical music to calm the vibe down and tell you it's alright and not your fault.

the best advice you will ever get is from this lady trust me.

she would kill for you and you know that.

Angle

i feel like he would go two ways

one leave you alone and go work out how to talk to a crying kid

or OR he would pick you up and give you the best hugs and tell you its ok

now I fell like out of everyone he would make you fell the most better about the other sinners as he isn't hell-born like the others you know.

best comfort

he knows what it's like to deal with shitty people and knows a little of what you're going though

he seems himself in you.

will let you cuddle him until you fall asleep

and will let you sleep over on those harder nights.

Lucifer

ohoho the big man well let me just say one word

DUCKS!!!!!!!!

he will make you a duck every time you are having a hard time or just cos he can you know

if he finds out your mother is in hell we she would of wished the angles got to her first

and see you as his second child.

he will let you put his hat on

if you end up hurting yourself he will kiss each cut, bump, bruise or scrap better.

will play the violin and sing you to sleep.

[anonymouscheeses]

Exorcist gang! (I'm so sorry it took forever to get to your ask. I kind of dropped the au for a long time and just now got the motivation to pick it up again.)

Right on the money! I just narrowed it down to three because I can't do anymore(lazy ahh). But they can't actually drive motorcycles because none of them have a drivers license so they just try to seem badass by saying they are a biker gang. All christian but they have no idea how it works and do things looked down upon by the christian community. Left Victoria. Middle Stephanie. Right Kamaria. Kamaria got a tattoo of the upside down cross to seem cool but she knows it's St. Peter's cross so it's kind of a double meaning for her. I also gave Kamaria three toned lips because I jst found out that exists and I had to include that in some character. Atleast one.

Maybe one day I'll draw them as angels just to do it.

For context, they are exes 😫

Are there still feelings? Kind of, they just aren't over eachother yet. Right now tho they are mainly enemies. Valerie(Vaggie) is kind of like Blitzø(relationships wise), but less of an asshole. It was mostly her fault they broke up though. She was uninterested and embarrassed by Kamaria almost all the time so ofc Kamaria doesn't stand for shit and ended it before it got worse. Valerie is like that with Charlie in some ways, but of course that's for growth purposes.

Oh also Valerie dated Lute too before she dated Kamaria so it's just this entire problem within the group bro.. Like, Lute is not over Valerie and not in a "I am in love with u still." Way, but in a "I hate the way you walk, the way you talk, I hate the way dress-" ahh way(and in an i am still in luv wit u way but shh). Lute has no idea why Valerie broke up wit her ass and takes it out on Kamaria. Kama takes no shit and bounced out that place quickly. Good for her ig. She still an asshole too, anger issues ahh, everyone except Charlie(until the vee accident 😏)deserves a kick in the ass.

Pretend Charlie is in her human form. I'm still workshopping it right now! 😔 so yeah nobody else except Valerie knows she's a demon jst so you know!

Chaggie aren't dating yet! But they will one day 😈

For now it's kind of just pining. On both sides ofc.

"So it mine el" we say in unison.

PLEASE TELL ME SOMEONE GETS THE REFERENCE?? THIS IS SO AWKWARD NOW...

Helmets and glasses off! I think they look pretty nice but im not great at making my own character designs from ground up. Which is why I havent shown my actual own OC's. Victoria is trans because I said so. Kamaria is probably Lesbian but she doesn't know yet, it's kind of a label she uses until she knows for sure (so me). And Stephanie is Stephanie (she don care. She don kno 💀). I FORGOT THE FLAME ON KAMARIA'S JACKET RAAAA.

They also all have a picture on the back of their jackets that's jst wings and a halo. So do with that what you will.... if u wanna make fanart that is..... pls..... I'm begging..... jk but it would still be cool lmao.

They used to be in a gang with Adam and Lute but after Valerie was beat up real bad by Lute they all decided to just part ways. Not on good terms... So it's just Adam and Lute now who jst act like they are all that when they cant pack a punch at all 😒. I'll show Adam and Lute's designs in the next update (or somewhere) but that's all I have right now. I can't wait to draw the duo ughhhh‼️‼️‼️

(I have also changed a few things from my original idea, so if your a hxd au og from the first like... 3 posts I made abt it then ya... there's major changes. I'll go through them deeper in my next updates on this au!)

[your-ne1ghbor]

Magnifico's "Wish Stealing form" design/some Character Dump (Disney Wish)

Oh boy ya'll in a BIG BIG Story beat plus some more information on Amaya and Magnifico in my rewrite:

The Kingdom of Roses and Thorns

Oh yeah...this is another long post and Ik @oh-shtars @chillwildwave @signed-sapphire @annymation @uva124 @rascalentertainments is gonna love this idea

For starters...

I Had this nightmare of Magnifico because of this form and now you all will see it too :3

There were also other posts that inspired this design too, so I'll link them here:

Anyways, this post is mainly an MAJIOR STORY IDEA DUMP for my sweet sweet emo Maggy- erm Magnifico (he is glaring at me guys send help please)

Soooo....

I had this terrifying idea for TKoRaT Maggy, even before I had this nightmare of him, where he legit becomes somewhat something like this, but with more vine core when he is taking the wishes/"monster in my closet" wrong vibes.

More like this for the idea I'm going for:

This is one of the ideas I had for Maggy when he is taking the wishes. This is might not be final in my final version of Maggy, hell, I might change that particular design to be Amaya's form when she takes the wishes too, since hers is more smoke which is more or not on par with her character in my rewrite/redesign. It might end up being more of Maggy's thing with Amaya helping him get into this state of transformation to take the wishes since I'd imagine it more of a whole process, but it could also just be something they both do together.

Some more design details I added was his scars from when his kingdom was attacked and almost everyone died because he showed mercy to the attackers. He doesn't really have them in his main design, probably because he covers them up with Amaya's potions or the wishes could have some form healing abilities? Idk I'm still firguring out the magic system of my story or that I just keep forgetting to put those scars in his design so awesome???💀

In my post here, I said that they don't hold ceremonies that has them granting/taking the wishes like they did in the movie. This is mainly because I wanted to do a little something original and gives me the oppertunity to take in the horror aspects of the story (because I love scaring children(not in a bad way, but to show them that there are these kinds of people in the world yk?)). This is why I am intentionally making Maggy and Amaya horrifying in their own way because well...good people can become the bad guys if pushed in the right direction. Especially in what they do to other people. Mainly inspired from Hunchback and Prince of Egypt, with subtle, but TERRIFYING pieces.

BUT, They do have a ceremony, but it is not related to the wishes, it is just there to give them some sympathetic traits to Maggy and Amaya (after all they've been through, I just feel bad, they literally wanted to good things and the world just beat them with a 90 foot pole).

This one I tried making Maggy more jagged. Although it seems like he is a different character here, thats mainly my fault since I really tried to figure out what he would say to Star Boy in this "idea" scene but my brain blanked out and couldn't think of anything so wahoo

Star Boy in this scene doesn't even know he has a desire, he just didn't think stars can form desires (ofc Maggy and Amaya is going to manipulate the hell out of him and Asha :3)

ALSO

This is also the main reason I split Star Boy's powers between what Amaya and Maggy does.

Maggy has only 1 shape-shifting form, and it is only done to steal the wishes. He can't shape shift into anything else, but it is why when he steals star's powers, he becomes more of a terrifying shapeshifter.

Amaya creates dangerous potions, and more or not lurks in the darkness in some way like a cat to bring them to their doom. Although it would make more sense if Maggy has the creation part of Star's powers, I gave it to Amaya since it works for her too, and keeps the power system balanced in some way. If I do give Amaya the ability to also shapeshift into a monster from my dreams, I could also say the same thing can work in reverse too, I just personally think the creation part of her character conflicts with Asha's ability to create/draw magic.

Power wise for this design...

This form also gives Maggy the ability to see people's desires that HE could take. He can't really take them until they are 17-18 years old and older (ruh oh, 2 of our main protagonists fall under that age gap). Plus, he cant take them from children since they are young and dont understand these kinds of things.

This form also falls under the MAIN conflict of why the hell is everyone miserable when they turn around 17/18 years old? Oh yeahhh this is going to fall under how he steals the wishes, but I'm not going to say anything here yet because I really want it to be a surprise.

Nothing that he does is not without reason. He blames the stars for not granting his wish (there is a reason why they didn't), and for not stepping in when a star, or Aster (NOT STAR BOY) went "rouge" (not Aster's fault btw, they didn't have a choice). So, this presented him with this ideology (that I personally believe Amaya first started thinking this way, out of pain and wanting to blame someone for what happened a century ago) that in order for people to not wish on stars, is for them to never wish/dream again. The story in my version is the aftermath of this. Still figuring out THE MAJIOR STORY BEATS, but this falls under Star Boy as well.

Star Boy represents the thing Magnifico hates the most. Plus, Maggy has more of a personal beef with the stars so of course he is going to make sure Star Boy dies, becauseeee he didn't do it last time, so second times the charm, am I right? (OR MAYBE THE THIRD WHO KNOWS, LETTING THE STORY WORK ITSELF OUT ;3)

ORIGINALLY, this was going to be Amaya's thing, but as I said, this might end up being mainly Maggy's thing, or it is something they both do, since they share the same goal, but here is the designs I was going to show for that:

Anywaysssss, ya'll can ask me questions regarding to this design if ya'll want to! I'll gladly answer them! I also will accept suggestions for the design/abilities for this "wish stealing..." thing. I might come up with a better name for this form later. Soo have a happy weekend as your neighbor watches some marvel movies as I work on my projects for my classes.

explodes

Edit: Okay my imagination took my to the most tragic part of his character then randomly imagined star boy getting stabbed by this guy and said "now you feel the pain I felt when everyone died" and star boy, in the worst condition says "almost everyone" then gets a another stab from him💀

[obsessedwithpedritoofc]

Mʏ Oɴʟʏ Rᴇᴀsᴏɴ (Fʀᴀɴᴋɪᴇ Mᴏʀᴀʟᴇs)

ℙ𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘: Frankie Morales × Transmasc Reader.

𝕎𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 7,3 k.

𝕊𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪: Both sent to the same prison, with different reasons and different problems to deal with. At least most of them, until one brought them together.

𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤: au, angst, violence, mentions of blood, shots being fired, mentions of death, mentions of killing, allusion to drugs, mentions of anger problems, mentions of scars, fluff, not wanting to have sex, frankies a sweetheart ofc, similarities with the series "time", actual physical descriptions of reader (but not detailed), no use of Y/N (reader is referred to as Lost). (lmk if i missed any).

𝔸/ℕ: hellooo as i suppose you already know, i LOVED writing this shit. frankie is my favorite pedro character and will always be and whenever i write something for him i get really excited. anyway so, this is based on the series "time", which is why it has some similarities to it but i mainly got inspiration from my own imagination :D whatever, im starting to bore myself lol. enjoy <3

𝕡𝕥 𝕚 𝕞𝕪 𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕪 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕠𝕟

𝕡𝕥 𝕚𝕚 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕥

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓

That was it. You almost had it. You just had to pull the trigger...

"Come on, get up!", there was a firm, insistent knock at the door of your cell. You looked at the ceiling, sighed and reluctantly got up.

Of all the bad days you had —and you had many bad days—, that was the worst day you could have been transferred. Your legs were stiff, your knuckles were broken and bloodied, and the scar in your stomach was making your insides hurt more than usual, though maybe that was because of the hunger. But well, it's not like you could even choose when to be transferred or where. That fight hadn't been your fault.

"Move, asshole", you looked up at him. He grabbed the chicken sandwich from your tray.

"Aren't you a bit too small to be a boy?", he laughed. Some of the ones behind him did, too.

"Give me my fucking sandwich back and move out of the way", you tried to stand your ground, not look weak, give them a warning.

"Oh, lookit that! Little girl's gotten all mad—".

You didn't give him the chance to finish the sentence before you smashed your tray right on his face, making him fall to the floor with a heavy thud. You got on his lap and started hitting your fist on his nose, his mouth, his eyes, everything you could hit. Until the alarm went off and you were surrounded and grabbed by a bunch of guards that took you to an isolation cell.

Next day, you were being transferred to a prison thousands of kilometers away from him. You didn't even know where they were going to take you. But you didn't care either. At this point, you didn't really care about anything.

When you arrived to your new home it was snowing and you were freezing. As you were approaching, the driver gave you a brief explanation of how weather and life were like in that prison. You didn't see yourself living in a place where it was always cold and raining —or snowing, that day specifically—, let alone for more than twenty years and between all those freaks.

Your time in that last prison had been cut short barely a month after you got in. You rejected every chance you were given to call your family or whoever close to you, and you didn't receive a single visit. Not like you had anyone close to you either. The only one that had once been was now gone.

You spent your first day in prison like it had been your forever home. The next day, though, everyone knew who you were and started looking at you as if you were their next prey. Or more as if they knew why you were there. Luckily for you, no one approached more than necessary. And luckily for you, you didn't really have to approach anyone at all, since you didn't even have a cellmate.

A week in, though, a group of inmates paid you a visit while you were reading in your cell. One of them looked outside to make sure there was no one dangerously nearby, then closed the door. The man at the front stood still, looking at you and scanning the room. Then, he sat next to you on the bed. You immediately sat up by instinct and scanned them all as well. There was three of them —four counting the on sitting next to you. You really didn't have much of a chance if you wanted to suddenly run away, but you could knock out their boss and one of them if you were fast enough.

"I know who you are", said the one on your side.

"Before you continue, you should know the last person who told me I was small didn't end very well", you spoke fast, looking at him in the eyes with an expressionless demeanor, showing you weren't weak and that you were going to stand your ground.

"Oh, I know that, too", he smiled. "That's why you were transferred here, right?".

You sighed. The situation was starting to be a bit too cliché and boring for your liking.

"What do you want?", you didn't take your eyes off of his.

"Nothing", he raised his eyebrows. "Yet".

Of course, you thought, resisting the urge to roll your eyes.

"So?", you crossed your arms. The man beside you stayed silent for a while.

"Do people around here know what you really are?".

Your demeanor immediately changed, shifting from an expressionless one to a scared one. You knew what he was talking about. 

But how the hell did he know?

"Who the fuck are you?", you found yourself suddenly lacking of oxygen. He just smiled.

"I'll come to you when I need a favor", he got up and walked to the door, then knocked. The man behind it opened it. "In the meantime, try not to get in much trouble".

And just like he had walked in, he also walked out. You gasped for air the very second you were left alone. 

Great, one week in that prison and you had somehow already fucked up. 

"Hey", another man was standing by the door now. He wasn't one of the other guy's men. "You good?", he looked around the room as if he was searching for something.

"Uh... Yeah", you frowned. "Why?".

"Those assholes are always up to somethin', wouldn't be a surprise if they were tryna get you in", he put his hands in his pockets and leaned his side on the doorframe.

"Do you want something?", you sounded a bit annoyed.

"No. I, uh, was jus' checkin' you weren't hurt".

"Well, I'm not. Thanks", you forced a brief smile. "You can leave now".

"Right", he pulled away from the door. "Sorry for botherin' ya".

When he was out of sight, you breathed again.

You took some time to think. Maybe if you did what the guy had told you to, you'd be out of trouble. By the moment, the best for you was to stay out of trouble. He had said not to, perhaps so that cops around wouldn't keep much of an eye on you in case he was going to ask you for a favor —you'd be out of suspicion.

You sighed. You knew you were fucked. But maybe you could keep yourself from making it worse.

"Why?", you held up the gun. "Why did you do it?", tears were streaming down your face.

"I had no choice".

"Why did you do this to me?!", you took a step back.

"I didn't know I'd get y—".

"Get the fuck away from me!!!".

And then you shot.

You sat at the back of the dining room. You were lucky to go down early so you could avoid the masses of inmates that fought over the last piece of bread. Unfortunately, the assholes were something you couldn't avoid. Especially the ones that came to you that morning.

"Well, hello", he sat beside you once again, followed by his men.

"What?", your tone was stern, though your face gave away your concern of what he might say. He didn't say anything at first and grabbed the bread from your tray. "That's mine", you spat.

"Not anymore", he looked into you eyes with as much sternness as your tone was holding at first. "I need you to do something for me", he smiled.

Shit, was your only thought.

"What?".

"But I need to know I can trust you before I give you a task".

"No. You tell me what you want me to do and I'll decide if I do it—".

"I think you don't understand how this works", he moved closer. "I tell you to do something, and you just do it. You don't do it, I tell everyone about you. You fuck it up, I tell everyone about you. You tell the cops, I tell everyone about you", he stared into your eyes. "Are we clear?".

You didn't say anything. You didn't want to make him think you were one to submit easily, but you didn't have any other choice either. Luckily for you, he wasn't looking to humiliate you and just let it be.

"A friend of mine's gonna leave some stuff by your cell one of these days", he pulled slightly away. "I need you to hide it and save it until I come get it".

You put on your usual expressionless demeanor.

"Okay", was your answer. He smiled.

"That's more like it", he patted your shoulder and got up. "Good thing we're on the same page".

And like that, he just walked away again.

You looked around, searching for anyone that might have seen you. Everyone else seemed to be minding their own business, except for the man that had gone check on you the first time that group of inmates had gone talk to you. He was staring at you with a knowing look from a couple tables away. You saw him well this time: he was wearing a cap and his moustache barely hid half of his upper lip. He got up with his tray before you could scan him any longer, then walked up to you and sat by your table.

"What did he say this time?", he asked.

"Hello to you, too", you rolled your eyes and went back to eating. "Why do you care so much anyway?".

"Because the last people I saw him approach to didn't end well".

"Well, define not well", you said with your mouth full.

"Beaten up by cops. By himself. Ended in the hospital", he paused to think. "Dead".

You stopped chewing for a moment, then continued.

"And why me?", you swallowed. "There's a lot of people in here, at least one of them all's gotta be in some shit with those guys".

" 'Course they do, but most of 'em want the reward he gives 'em", he took a bite of his own food. "You didn't seem to".

"Yeah, well, I guess he ran outta rewards because he didn't offer me one", you raised your eyebrows while looking down at your plate, having another bite.

"Then why did you accept to do his dirty work?".

"I didn't ac—".

"I saw him gettin' outta here with your bread n' all smiley, you must've said somethin' he liked".

You stopped eating and slammed your hands on the table.

"Look, man. Whatever I do or not is none of your goddamn business, so I suggest you start minding your own shit unless you wanna end beaten up like the last person that fucked around with me", you stared into his eyes, your own set on fire. He threw his hands up.

"A'right", he grabbed his tray and got up. "Sorry for b—".

"Bothering me, yeah, sure, you can go", you shooed him. He knew better than to keep insisting, so he walked away.

You went back to your cell as soon as you were done eating. Damn, you did miss the bread. But to be honest, it wasn't really something you were concerned about. What really worried you at that moment was which kind of stuff was that bastard's friend going to make you hide and what would happen to you in case you were caught in a room inspection.

You hoped nothing too bad.

It was done. You had done it. It was over.

You stood there, looking at the body laying on the floor in a puddle of blood.

Then you heard police sirens.

"Drop your gun!", they broke the door open. They held their gun up. You held yours on the side of your head.

"Get back!", you screamed.

"Drop your gun and get on the floor!", they kept saying.

You saw no better way out of it. So you shot once again.

A knock on your door woke you up. You hit your forehead with the metal bars under the bunk bed when you jumped, startled. You cursed yourself and rubbed the hurt spot on your forehead before getting up.

No words were shared between you and the man at the other side of the door. He just lent you a small paper bag. You hesitantly grabbed it, then he walked away.

You went back inside. You sat on your bed, asking yourself if you should open the bag or not. To be honest, it wasn't really closed, so the others wouldn't really know if you had looked inside. It's not like he had said you couldn't look. Technically, you were doing nothing wrong—

"What did he give you?".

You hit your head again with the bars.

"Dude, what the fuck!", you rubbed the top of your head. You turned to look at the door, finding the same guy that had sat with you on the dining room more than a week ago. "Oh, it's you", you huffed. "Didn't I tell you to leave me the fuck alone?".

"I know", he walked inside. "But seriously, you need some help with that guy".

"Of course, I do", you smiled sarcastically. "Out of the two times he's talked to me, I haven't been beaten up, I'm not in the hospital and I'm not dead!", you threw your hands up. "I didn't even get in trouble with any cops because of him! Of course I need help with that guy!".

The man stayed silent as you gave him your most sarcastic smile. Then you shifted back to you usual expressionlessness.

"Why do you think I need help?", you shrugged angrily. "Is it because I'm not big and buffed like the dogs he carries around with him?".

"That's not wha—".

"You think I'm weak? Is that it?", you stood up to face him. "Well, lemme tell you something, old man. This is not my first prison, and I've been surviving on my own long enough as to be able to beat the shit out of everyone in this place if I wanted to", you stared into his eyes with your brow deeply frowned.

"I didn't mean that", he spoke slowly, definitely more calmed than you. His eyes flicked down for a moment before looking back into yours. "I jus' thought that, in case he wants to fuck you up real bad, you'd be better with someone by your side".

You cleared your throat and stepped back, looking up at him.

"Someone by my side, huh?", you resisted the urge to laugh. "Because I can't handle myself well enough?".

"I already told you I didn't mean—".

"I know", you chuckled this time. "I'm just fucking with ya", you sat back on the bed. "I understand that you feel alone in here and want a friend. And who better than the new inmate, right?", you gave him a knowing smirk. He couldn't help but smile back.

"Shit, you caught me", he sat beside you as well. "I feel so lonely in this prison", he chuckled. "I'm Francisco, by the way".

"Francisco? What kind of name is that?", you bursted into laughter. 

"Jus' call me Frankie, goddammit. No need to make a big fuss 'bout it", his mumbling made you laugh more.

"Yeah, Frankie's a definitely better name".

You spent a couple minutes like that, just laughing at the stupidity of it all. Truth be told, you hadn't laughed that hard in months. And you needed it.

"So", he said after a while. "What's in the bag?".

"I don't know", you looked down at the paper bag in your lap. "A guy just came and gave it to me".

"D'you wanna open it?", he looked at you with hooded eyes.

"I don't know", you took a deep breath. "I don't think I should, but they didn't tell me not to".

"Are you seriously gonna do what he says?".

"What else am I supposed to do? He's gonna fuck me up real bad if I don't", you let out a deep sigh. "I'll find a way out of it".

"What'd he threaten you with?".

Your blood ran cold at his question. You could tell how your face went pale, and your knees would have failed to keep you steady if you weren't seating.

"I'll take care of that", you said, looking at the ground. "I'll just do whatever he wants me to and stay outta trouble for as long as I can", you opened the paper bag, pulling a small disposable phone. "Huh", you put it back were it was. "What a little shit", you mumbled.

"It's a phone now, but what if it turns into somethin' else?", Frankie got up, still looking down at you. "You have to stand up to him—".

"I said I'll take care of that", you stood up to face him once again. "Whatever he does to me, it's my problem, not yours", you stared into his eyes. "I understand you're concerned, and I appreciate it, but you can't be behind my ass all day long. I'm not a kid, I can take care of myself".

Frankie stayed silent for a minute, processing your words. Then he cleared his throat and spoke again:

"Right", he nodded once. "I'm sorry, you're right".

"Right", you nodded, too. "Glad we're on the same page", you let out a heavy sigh. "Oof, sorry. I get pretty carried away when I'm angry".

"Yeah, I can see that", he chuckled. You laughed back.

"Welp", you took the paper bag with the phone and threw it into your pillowcase. "I better not use this thing before that asshole comes looking for it".

"Yeah, you better not".

You could tell he was uncomfortable now. He didn't now what else to say. You knew you usually did that to people who tended to assume you were as weak as your body showed. That was actually one of the reasons why you had learned to survive using violence most of the time, and probably the main cause of your anger problems. 

Before you could speak any apologies to him, you heard the walls and doors being hit outside, followed by cops shouting.

"Lights out! Everyone get to sleep!".

You looked at Frankie with a regretful expression. You felt bad for having caused him to be so taken aback and awkward.

"I better get goin'. Cops won't see me in my cell, might be suspicious", he said.

"Yeah", you nodded. "I'll... see you around".

"Sure", he walked out. "See ya".

Fuck, you cursed yourself.

Perfect. The first friend you made in prison ever and you screwed up your first non-violent chat. You could swear you had never felt so bad for taking your anger out on someone else.

Wait.

You had never felt bad for taking your anger out on someone else. That was actually what you were the best at.

Frankie was a good man. You somehow knew it. And you somehow knew he didn't deserve to suffer your anger problems as well. You had started off on the wrong foot, you also knew that well. Maybe the first thing you should do to try and fix it was apologizing. For treating him that bad the first times you talked, for taking your frustration out on him, for showing him the you no one like him should meet—

"Hey", a cop outside your door startled you. "Lights out and get on the goddamn bed".

"Yessir", you turned off the lights and laid on your bed as the cop closed your door and walked away.

You sighed, trying to close your eyes while thinking of what you would say to Frankie when you saw him next morning.

A beeping sound woke you up. You eyes opened in a sudden move and you looked around, confused, despaired.

Two cops were sitting beside your hospital bed, not seeming to have noticed you awake. 

Suddenly, everything came back and your memories hit you like a truck.

Your unsteady and heavy breathing alerted the cops. They both stood up and got on both sides of your bed. You tried to get up, a stinging pain in your stomach keeping you laid down. You lifted the hem of your shirt to see it covered by a large gauze, a little bloodied.

Your mind was dizzy as the cops told you about your current medical condition, and about the twenty-five years you were going to spend in prison for murder and trying to commit suicide afterwards.

At least you had gotten rid of your worst nightmare.

"Hey", you sat next to Frankie in the dining room. He smiled at you.

"Hey", he made room for you to sit more comfortably. "You get some sleep?".

"Yeah", you forced a smile. "Kinda", you cleared your throat. "I, uh... Sorry for how I acted yesterday. I didn't have the right to talk to you like that".

"It's fine. I'm like that sometimes, too", he shrugged it off. 

"No, I mean it. I shouldn't have—".

"Hey. It's okay, really", he stared into your eyes. "I understand you have... difficulties managin' your feelings, and it's alright", you saw the beginning of a smirk forming on his lips. "I've seen more o' those around here and they don't deal with it as well as you do".

His chuckle made you laugh back.

"Whatever, old man".

You spent the day talking to Frankie, walking around with him, getting to know him. Turns out you were right: he was a good man. And maybe he was a bit too sweet to be in a place like a prison, but he seemed to be doing well. You somehow knew he wouldn't have trouble if he suddenly got into a fight. 

The next few weeks went just like that. You stuck to Frankie, and Frankie stuck to you. You found in him the first person to be close to you in a long time. You found a friend in him. He didn't judge you, didn't treat you like the rest of people in you life had. It's not like he knew either, but you really didn't need him to know. There were already enough people in that prison that knew. 

Perhaps too many, you thought one of the times you thought about telling Frankie.

So you just accepted the fact that he would probably be your only friend in that prison, and maybe for the rest of your life. Maybe you didn't even have to tell him about—

"Well well well", a pair of hands fell on your shoulders as you picked up your freshly washed clothes. "Look who's alone today, huh?".

"The fuck do you want?", you turned around. There was that asshole again.

"You seem to be nice friends with that cap guy, huh?", he gave you a sarcastic smile. "What did you tell him 'bout us?", his expression shifted very quickly to one of pure anger.

"I didn't tell hi—".

"Bullshit!", he grabbed you by the neck of your shirt and pushed you against the wall. "What did you tell him? You asked for help, huh? Like the pretty little bi—".

You punched him right on the face before he even had the chance of finishing the sentence. He let you go and pulled away to recover, touching his now bloodied nose. The men behind him took a step forward, but he signaled them to stay back. And he just laughed.

"I. Told him. Nothing", you repeated. The guy in front of you sniffed and chuckled again.

"Wow", he stood up. "You have guts, gotta admit it", he fixed his nose. "Maybe I did cross a line there. I'm sorry", he shrugged. "Be careful, though. Next time, my dogs won't be as merciful", he looked back at them and nodded. Then he approached you. "You better not tell that fucker anything of our agreement. Wouldn't want the whole prison —including him— knowing what you really are, huh?".

You didn't say a word, but your silence was enough answer for him.

"Good", he cleaned the blood off his nose. "See ya around, little one".

Once again, he walked away.

Part of you felt relieved because you hadn't gotten yourself nor Frankie into trouble. Part of you still cursed yourself for being so fucked up.

That is how you survived your first year in that prison: doing favors to those pieces of shit and sticking to Frankie. You had learned a lot about him —what he used to do before ending up in prison, how he got there, the reason why he didn't get any visits...

You also told him all of that. What you used to do before ending up in prison, the reason why you didn't get any visits... You might have lied a bit when you told him how you got there, but he seemed not to notice —or at least not to mind that you did. Maybe he wanted to give you some space, and he understood that your situation was complicated. Whatever it was, you thanked him in your mind for not asking any more questions about it.

You became closer to him that you ever planned on. He talked to you every day, seemed to be the only one to care about you in that shitty place, made sure you were doing okay even with the assholes behind you. He even seemed not to want to let you go too far away from him, except when necessary. And even if you hated to admit it, being around him —or well, having him around you— made you feel safer than if you were by yourself. You and him both knew you weren't with him for protection —you could take care of that yourself. But he still made you feel protected, but not weak. And you didn't want to admit it, but you knew you had felt that before.

And it really, really scared you.

Of course, you kept having your disagreements with the group. Many disagreements. But you managed to keep it cool so that they would leave you and Frankie alone, which they surprisingly did. And you didn't get caught by the cops around either, which was also a surprise, but you wouldn't complain. Not when you had managed to keep you and Frankie out of trouble.

Yep, I've fallen so hard, you said to yourself one day. You were scared to admit it, but you weren't doing to lie to yourself about something you already knew.

"Well, hello", you turned around to see him standing behind you on the shower stall, scanning you up and down. You quickly wrapped your towel around your body and started getting dressed, trying to let him see as little as possible.

"What do you want?", you made sure to sound upset this time.

"You got what I was waiting for?", he sat at the bench outside the showers. You grabbed a small bag with herb from inside your pants and tossed it at him. He put it in his pocket. "Good".

He stood there, watching you, but he didn't say anything else. You frowned, trying to decrypt his expression. It wasn't the one he usually had. He seemed to be eyeing you with pity, but had at the same time he had a knowing look.

"Want anything else?", you crossed your arms and leaned on the lockers. He kept his pitiful, knowing look displayed on his eyes.

"Yeah", he looked down for a moment. "I wanted to talk to you about something. It's not about me this time, promise", he moved to the side of the bench and patted the spot next to him so you would sit. You reluctantly did. "You see...", he cleared his throat. "There's one of my dogs that... Well, actually a couple of 'em... that know about your... physical condition", he stared into his eyes.

Your heart started beating quickly, anger cursing through your veins.

"Some of them have been in here for a quite some time now, and... Well, they haven't had fun in a while, and since you're doing me some favors, I thought you wouldn't have trouble doing some to the—".

Your fist crashed against his face, this time harder than the last time you had punched him. Your other fist did, too. One, two, three, four times, you lost count.

"You think I'm some slut you can sell?! Huh?! That's what you like?! Fucking little boys like me?!", you spat on his face, hitting it again and again. "You fucking pervert, son of a bitch, piece of—!".

Now it was his fist what impacted on your face.

You fell to the floor with a heavy thud. He got on top of you, just like you had done with him, and started punching your face again and again and again.

Eventually, you lost conscience of your surroundings. Probably one of his blows hit you somewhere in the brain and left you dizzy. You could just feel more pain in your face and head, even though you couldn't even lift your arms or legs to try and defend yourself. The only thing you got to hear before you fell completely unconscious was how someone pulled him away from you and grabbed you to take you somewhere.

Frankie got there just in time before he punched all the teeth out of your mouth. He pulled him back and hit his head against one of the lockers, leaving him unconscious as well. Then he grabbed you and took you to the infirmary.

He was in his cell with his cellmate —who he usually didn't pay much attention to— when some guy came to tell them some shit about you. 

The truth about you.

Frankie didn't want to believe it at first. He couldn't. But the more he thought about it, more sense it made to him. Aside from your short frame and your beautiful little face —focus, Frankie, this ain't about that—, your explosive personality and your obsession over you being too weak or small kind of gave it away. It actually made sense. It was true.

He went that same day —after the night of your encounter with that fucker— to check on you to the infirmary. He wanted to know how were you doing, and he wanted to hear from you the truth of all the scene those guys were making over you. He was told you weren't conscious yet, but he stayed nonetheless —grabbed a chair and sat beside your bed.

He had been watching you ever since you got in that prison. And when the group got inside your cell that day, his suspicions about you were confirmed. You were exactly what they needed. Why would a little man like you make the cops think you were dangerous? Simple, you weren't. That's why they picked you out of everyone.

You were right thinking Frankie wanted to protect you from them. Not because you were small —he was sure you could defend yourself just right— but because he needed to, because his heart told him it was the right thing to do. That's why he insisted on approaching you as well.

He knew you were going to be close friends the moment you apologized for talking to him in such a rude way. And he knew he liked you too much for his own good. But honestly, he didn't care. The need to protect you made him not care at all. It actually just made him embrace his feelings more. It never really bothered him to be attracted to someone. He knew he was a bit of a lovestruck guy, and whenever he knew he liked someone he didn't hesitate to admit it —unlike you. 

He told you what he used to do before ending up in prison, what he did to end up in there, the reason why he didn't get any visits... He wouldn't usually tell someone that, but it was different with you. He had the feeling that you understood him, that you could empathize with him and wouldn't judge him for just anything. On the other hand, he knew you were lying to him about why you ended up in prison and why you didn't really have any friends —in or out. But he knew it wasn't easy for you —he had already seen how difficult it was for you to keep your feelings controlled, so he didn't want to push things unnecessarily further. He wanted to give you your space, since he knew he had already kind of taken that from you the moment he insisted on continuing to talk with you.

Or at least he wanted to, until he saw that asshole beating the shit out of you in the shower stalls.

Frankie got there just in time before he punched all the teeth out of your mouth. He pulled him back and hit his head against one of the lockers, leaving him unconscious as well. Then he grabbed you and took you to the infirmary. He stayed there long enough to hear them say you were going to take some time until you were fully recovered, and that you would probably be unconscious for a couple days. He also heard them mention the other guy was better than you, that his time in bed would be briefer than yours.

A cop came to them both and asked them about what had happened. Frankie could only say that he had seen that asshole already beating you when he arrived. The cop could only say he would have to do extra work for a week as a punishment for leaving the other guy unconscious, but at least he understood Frankie just wanted to protect you.

"You did good", he said to him.

Then he went to talk to the other guy. And Frankie could only fist his hands and hope no to break anything.

"I was asking him to help me with something in the shower and he just started punching me!", was what he said.

"What about the wounds on his face?".

"Well, I had to protect myself!".

"Sure", the cop wrote something on a paper, then stood up. "As soon as you're out of bed, you're being transferred to the next block".

A smile formed on Frankie's lips as the guy shouted complaints at the cop. Still, he knew you weren't safe. Not yet. Not even with him away. And he knew his dogs were everywhere —this block, the next, the prison some kilometers away from that one...

But he would still try to keep you out of danger.

The next day, he was in his cell with his cellmate—who he usually didn't pay much attention to— when some guy came to tell them some shit about you. 

The truth about you.

Frankie didn't want to believe it at first. He couldn't. But the more he thought about it, more sense it made to him. Aside from your short frame and your beautiful little face —focus, Frankie, this ain't about that—, your explosive personality and your obsession over you being too weak or small kind of gave it away. It actually made sense. It was true.

He went that same day —after the night of your encounter with that fucker— to check on you to the infirmary. He wanted to know how were you doing, and he wanted to hear from you the truth of all the scene those guys were making over you. He was told you weren't conscious yet, but he stayed nonetheless —grabbed a chair and sat beside your bed.

He grabbed your hand softly in his, examining your broken knuckles and bloodied skin. He should have known better than to leave you alone like that in the shower stalls. He should have been with you. He should have protected you, like he had told himself he would. 

"I'm sorry", he whispered.

Distant voices woke you up. A female one and two males. You couldn't make out what they were saying, but you didn't need to. You remembered everything pretty well.

You tried to stretch yourself, despite the way your face was hurting terribly. Still, you couldn't move one of your arms. Your hand was being held by another.

You opened your eyes and saw Frankie sitting beside you, his hand holding yours even with his eyes closed. As soon as he felt you move, he opened them and sat up, staring into your eyes.

"Oh god", he breathed out. A smile played on his lips as he examined you. "You okay?".

His question made you laugh.

"Well, I've been better", you smiled at him. "But I'll survive", you looked around. "How long have I been...?".

"Four days. Well, three and a half", he swiped his thumb over the back of your hand, you figured involuntarily. "They've been taking good care of you".

"I bet...", you looked down at his hand on yours. Frankie pulled away as soon as he saw you do it.

"Sorry—".

"No, it's okay", you were the one to grab his hand this time. "I don't mind...", you whispered that last part. Frankie tried to hold back his own smile. Then something he remembered made it go away as soon as it had come. "What?", you stared into his eyes. He kept swiping his thumb small soothing circles on the back of your hand.

"Will you tell me—", he paused to breathe; "What's the deal with you?".

"What do you mean—".

"I know you lied to me, Lost", he tried to keep it cool, but his eyes gave away how mad he was at you for not having told him the truth and having gotten in so much trouble because of it. "I... I already know... a bit of it, but—".

You turned around to try and find the asshole that had shattered your face, but he was nowhere to be seen.

"They moved him a block away from here", he answered even before you could ask. "He still had the chance to spread the rumor, though". 

"Shit", you whispered to yourself. You looked down, biting your downer lip and trying to stop your own tears from coming out, trying to ignore the stinging pain in your face.

"Hey", he grabbed your chin softly, careful not to hurt you more than you already were, and made you look at him. "Tell me what's wrong", he spoke slowly. "Whatever it is, I don't care. It'll still be you no matter what", he caught a tear halfway down your face, his skin grazing lightly against yours. You took a deep breath.

"A... couple years ago... I had someone really close to me", you sniffed. "I... He got me... pregnant... And...", you dried off your tears. "I didn't want... I couldn't..." you took a shaky deep breath, trying to steady yourself. "He also tried to... run away...", you tried to swallow the lump in your throat. "He was into drugs... and was told to move... Without telling me...", you sighed in an attempt to ignore the way your breathing was starting to get heavy and your chest was starting to hurt. "I couldn't take it anymore", you sniffled again and looked away from Frankie, unable to maintain your eyes on his piercing look. "I shot him. And...", you lifted your shirt just enough to reveal a big scar that went across your stomach. "I shot the baby, too", your voice broke.

"Oh, Lost", he reached out to grab and hug you. "I'm so sorry", he rubbed your back, trying to calm you down a little. You held tight onto him, squeezing him as close to you as you could.

He kept you in his arms for a while as you cried out your grief. Everything made more sense after you told him the truth. He finally felt like he understood you, really understood you and your feelings. And he finally felt like his feelings were resolved, just like yours.

He had to leave when some cops came to interrogate you about what had happened in the shower stalls a few days ago, but he promised to come back to see you that night. In the meantime, you answered the cops' questions and tried to rest as well as your pain allowed you to.

You got out of bed a week after that. The first thing you did was hug Frankie, since he was waiting outside the infirmary. He took you to your cell, staying by your side and not walking more than two steps away from you. Everyone was looking at you either with a weirded out expression or with hungry eyes. As soon as you noticed, you got even closer to Frankie.

That was the moment you gave up on trying not to look small or weak. Every single man on that prison was now trying to fuck you or fuck you up. Damn, you had never felt so vulnerable.

Good thing I have my brick wall over here, you thought.

Frankie could see the looks the other inmates gave you, and the ones you gave them. If he felt like he had to protect you before, now he felt even more responsible —especially since he had let that motherfucker beat you like that. He felt guilty, and even though you tried to tell him it wasn't his fault he couldn't get that thought out of his mind.

"Look at me", you grabbed his jaw, making him look at you, just like he had down a week before when you were still in that bed in the infirmary —though this time you were in your bed. "It wasn't your fault. I told you it was my problem and that I'd deal with it, and so I did".

"I know", he stared into your eyes. "But if I had done something, if I had gone talk to him or—".

"You couldn't, Frankie", you tightened your grip on his jaw. "Look, he had threatened to tell everyone if he found out I told you anything. It would've happened sooner or later, I just exploded when he asked me to do that with he and his men", you let go of him. "Think about it this way —if you hadn't come just in time to stop him from beating me to death, I wouldn't be here right now", you patted his thigh. "So you saved me anyway. And I also got you to keep me away from those creeps", you both laughed at that.

"I guess you're right", he sighed. "Still sorry".

"Didn't I just tell you not to be?", you crossed your arms and stared into his eyes with a frown. He couldn't help the smile that crept on his lips.

"But I still am", he crossed his arms as well. "What, am I not allowed to be?".

"Not if I tell you not to be".

"Ooh, getting bossy", he chuckled. "I like that".

"Okay, now you're acting like one of those freaks out there".

"Come on, y'know I'm not like—".

"Shut up, old man".

You grabbed his face and pulled him in for a kiss. A slow, passionate, nice kiss. Frankie stayed still for a moment before replying with just as much passion. You then pulled away to look into his eyes. You were both smiling.

"Wow", he whispered. "Didn't think you'd take the lead".

"Well, someone had to, and you didn't seem to be going to, so...", you grabbed his hand. "I couldn't bear the sexual tension anymore".

"Oh, sexual tension?", he rolled on top of you. "We can fix that...".

"No! Gross! Get away!", you laughed and pulled him off of you.

"Why?" he approached again, leaning down to leave a trail of small kisses down your neck. "I wanna...".

"Frankie, no", you pulled him off again, this time with a serious look on your face. Frankie's smirk was immediately deleted when he saw you, and seemed to be asking for an explanation. "I... I can't", you looked down. "Not like this, I'm... not ready", you cleared your throat before looking back up at him.

"M'kay", he grabbed your hand once more. "We won't do anythin' you don't wanna".

You smiled at him, thankful. He understood that you needed space and you weren't ready yet to show him that part of you. And he would respect you and your decision not to. The last thing he wanted was to make you uncomfortable, make you push him away from you. So he put it back in his pants and gave you a comforting smile.

He stuck with you all the time, by your side, not daring to leave you alone. Whenever some guy would look at you with a weird face, he gave him a warning look —or push him away from you both. He didn't let anyone other than the cops get close to you, which you thanked him for in multiple occasions. For once in a long, long time, you weren't afraid of being too small or weak. You weren't worried about your looks anymore. You weren't worried about anything with Frankie beside you. He was your only reason to want to keep going despite being in a place such as that damned prison. The only reason why you wanted to keep going at all.

The only reason why you preferred spending twenty years in prison before being back out in that shitty world.

[knee-stockings]

So I’ve been listening to lots of podcasts at work lately to break up the monotony of my office job. Mainly they’re horror, suspense/thriller, drama, that kind of thing. Trying to give ratings without spoilers~

(Check out updated pod recs here)

The Left Right Game (a journalist investigating an urban legend that gets increasingly more dangerous as they go): 5/5, this being one of the first ones I listened to set the bar really high tbh, it was great, immersive sound design, genuinely suspenseful and creepy moments, interesting plot, my only gripe is that I didn’t love the ending but I couldn’t dock a star just for that, highly recommend, maybe I’ll retire to Wintry Bay someday 

Alice Isn’t Dead (delivery trucker goes searching for her believed dead wife, comes across supernatural towns and creatures and a conspiracy that goes way deeper than one missing woman): 5/5, so so good, enjoyed a lot, I loved learning the truth about the Thistle men, still don’t completely understand oracles but that’s okay, some delightfully creepy moments, this will be high on my recommendation list (also it’s by the Welcome to Night Vale people, which I actually haven’t listened to lmao)

Harley Quinn and the Joker: Sound Mind (it’s a Harley Quinn origin story basically): 5/5, very enjoyable, sound design great, plot was fun, I don’t know how accurate this story is to the original Harley Quinn origin story but I liked this a lot

The Burned Photo (two women try to fight a familial curse haunting their bloodlines): 4/5, not bad at all, I thought the sound design was great and immersive but I thought the monster’s voice was a bit goofy idk, the plot wasn’t bad though ofc it was pretty bittersweet and sad in the end, tho I think it was never going to be happy for everyone involved

Blackwood (group of teens investigate the town urban legend and uncover more than they bargained for): I can’t decide…3.5 maybe? It was okay. I didn’t love it or hate it, I’m pretty neutral about it. It was interesting enough

Gaslight (girl goes missing and then reappears to her best friend years later with little explanation): 3/5, feels like there should be another season, wasn’t as dramatic/suspenseful as I thought it would be (maybe that’s my own fault tho, from the description and stuff I thought there would be more to it)

Ice-Cream (teens suspect the friendly neighborhood ice cream man of abducting little kids and uncover a dark secret): 4.5/5, interesting and a lil creepy, there’s something oddly funny about hearing someone scream “fuck you Beelzebub” even in context, sound design is pretty good and voice acting is great, finale was also pretty good but I’m docking half a star bc of that very last bit and bc I said so, overall short n’ sweet, no pun intendo (I’m kinda glad that it’s only the one season and not super long, gives the feeling of not overstaying its welcome. Also in awe that they made it within like a month, gonna go listen to their other podcast Cascadia too)

Cascadia (submarine expedition to uncharted waters, gone wrong, we almost died!?): 5/5, by the Ice-Cream people so I expected great sound design and voice acting and said expectations were met tbh, yes god love the drama, ocean depths are inherently scary to me so this is top tier horror, season one was chef’s kiss beautiful and I heard season 2 is coming so I’ll be waiting eagerly for that

Listening now:

Within the Wires (season 1 is relaxation cassette tapes from another world, season 2 is a guided museum tour I think): also by the WTNV people, interesting so far, the plot that unfolded in the first season was cool to watch as it played out, but also I am so sad. I like it so far

Rabbits (girl goes searching for her friend who disappeared because of this mysterious Rabbits game): feels like a really slow start after a few episodes, I kinda wanna get to more action soon please

Wake of Corrosion (apocalypse where characters are trying to find other survivors and also answers): mild shrug, not sure what to make of it just yet. Only like 2 episodes in so I think I need to give it a bit

Ars Paradoxica (scientist accidentally invents time travel and is thrown back to the 1940s): pretty interesting so far, science is fun 

Spoiler comment for Cascadia under the cut bc it's the one I just finished and I have Thoughts

As much as I enjoyed Cascadia, when I think about the expedition for more than 2 seconds I get confused. Not the whole alien thing, that’s fine, it’s Badger and Maria and their ulterior motives. Why in the world did Badger spend millions of dollars to make a submarine that’s faulty on purpose? And there was so much media coverage around it so the second something went wrong reporters were practically beating him over the head with microphones, so why risk so much bad press? Plus sacrificing three other talented divers who trusted him with their lives??? That’s the most confusing to me. There’s no way Badger foresaw them getting attacked underwater and losing Declan alone, so he must have been fully prepared to lose captain AND crew. Holden said that he saw Badger as a father, and yet he chose Holden to die? He said he handpicked them, so what did Holden, Alia, or Iris ever do to him to deserve being sent on a suicide mission? Doing all this just to get rid of Declan and be with Maria doesn’t feel right. Feels like there should be something more there. Tldr: surely Badger had another reason for conducting the suicide mission, right? Also since season 2 starts with Lila all grown up, a diver just like her father, I wanna know her opinions of her mother and of Badger. Did she learn about her mother’s betrayal? Is Badger still involved in funding deep sea diving or did the FBI take him out of that? Omg who’s the father of her little sibling…I’m so curious…

[melancholy-marionette]

Hi hi! I'm a fan of your yandere games and I just recently found out about your Tumblr account while hunting for fandoms of your games X3 I just finished playing Solipsism Reigns after letting it just sit there somewhere on my laptop for a whole year cuz I got attached to Kuro XD Ik your hands are already full from the amount of visual novels you've been creating so far but would you consider re-creating SR if you can? You don't have to feel obligated to ofc, I'm already impressed with the amount of visual novels you've cooked up XD (I'm quite nervous asking this cuz SR is so underrated and it's rarely talked about these days)

Hey hey! That’s awesome :D Super glad to hear it <3 

Yeeeeah, I mean, I don’t know for sure cos I’ve never looked, but I can’t imagine there's much in the way of fandoms for any of my games since they tend to fly under the radar x3 (my own fault for being incapable of using social media to promote stuff, I know T_T haha)

Since my following is mainly concentrated on itch I guess maybe that doesn’t help since other devs tend to post stuff in places like this and interact with people more. Heck, one of my supporters was even kind enough to make me a Discord server, which is incredible! But even with that, I struggle to use it regularly cos I can’t cope with live conversations very well >.< My social processing power is extremely limited T_T

The most frustrating thing is that I would like to be more active with social stuff, I just can’t handle it very well thanks to my ASD :( It only takes a little bit of social media for me to become completely overwhelmed and have to force myself to come off it so I don’t shut down, haha. It sucks.

Anyways, I’m rambling, sorry x3

That’s so cool you played SR :D my original baby, haha. It looks so old now T_T Every time I see it on my itch dashboard I end up thinking of all the things I would change now I have more experience as a dev! It makes me a happy bunny to hear that you got attached to Kuro though ^-^

Funnily enough... I had already planned to remake SR at some point :D 

As much as the project will always have a special place in my heart with it being my first-ever VN, there are many things about it that bother me too, haha. 

My hope is to eventually remake it from scratch (I kinda have no choice in that anyhow since I no longer have the old Tyranobuilder project files x3) in Naninovel :3 Cos I know Tyrano was kinda clunky >.< In Nani, I could make it all work more smoothly + add more in the way of visual FX and stuff too.

On top of that though, I plan to go over all of my writing because there’s sooooo much I’m not happy with (mainly glaring at the student route >.>) + with any luck add an entirely new route as well that I cut from the original release due to a lack of time to write it properly when I found out Kuro’s VA was going to be moving to another country and putting voice acting on hold, haha. 

There was also a BxG version in the works that’s currently on hold but features redesigned sprites by LazyPolarBear + CGs for a male protagonist x fem Kuro.

I’m not sure what I want to do about the music in the project because I feel like I chose the tracks well to fit the game, BUT, I’ve heard those same tracks in soooo many other people’s games now that I kind of hate that I used so much from Incompetch, haha. Kevin’s music is incredible, but since it’s very generously free to use, it does mean it’s kind of overused in games >.< I didn’t have any other option at the time cos I couldn’t make my own music and I didn’t have any money to buy asset packs.

Now that I tend to create my own OSTs, it would seem kind of insane not to make one for SR in the process of a proper remake. It’s just it would require me to make a lot of tracks x3 I’ll probably give it a go though + maybe keep a handful of Kevin’s ones that I really like too much to let go of, haha.

So yeah, my hope is to eventually remake the original otome version of SR in a different engine with edited + new writing, some new art, new UI, new FX, possibly an OST, and I guess new VA to go with the new writing :D 

I don’t really know when because I need to finish CiQ, DD, and Blue Blythe’s route in Bitter/Sweet before I tackle any more long-term projects x3 So it won’t be any time soon. Once I’ve managed to finish all of those though, I’ll probably make it my next long-term priority project :3

I’m genuinely flattered that you actually liked SR enough to even ask this! It always amazes me when anyone leaves a positive word about SR because I assumed that it had kinda just been lost to the sands of time at this point xD I know it’s definitely showing its age, haha. It’s nice to know there are still people out there who are willing to give it a chance if they happen to come across it somehow ^-^

I feel like my games are probably rarely talked about in general, haha. I mean, since I’m a fan of yandere games and play them myself, I do lurk in some communities + sometimes look at recs threads other people post to get ideas for things to add to my own playlist, and it’s not often that I see any of my games mentioned on recs or being discussed x3

I always kinda hope it’s cos people don’t know they exist rather than it being a case of them thinking they’re not worthy of mentioning xD Either way isn’t exactly great though I guess, haha. 

I just can’t promote stuff for the life of me cos I find it too overwhelming & exhausting + I don’t really have the self-confidence to try and put my games in front of people anyways cos I always feel like what I make isn’t good enough >.< I’m basically 100% reliant on other people sharing my games for anyone to even discover them x3 Either that or searching the yandere tag on itch, but even then, they might be kinda hard to locate cos they’re not super near the top since I don’t get as many people rating my games as other devs do. SR is my oldest game and it doesn’t even have 100 ratings yet on itch xD

If you search the yandere tag on itch and sort by ‘top rated’ 14 Days With You is first with a whopping 1238 total ratings as of searching right now while I type this… my first game to appear is Darling Duality as the 13th result with a mere 427 ratings by comparison, haha. And I’m pretty sure DD only got rated that much because of Manly’s video x3 Bitter/Sweet is next with only 228 total ratings by comparison.

I know people can just click on my itch profile if they happen to find and like 1 of my games and maybe want to see if I’ve made others, but a lot of people don’t realise you can do that, or they don’t know that I primarily make games with yanderes in x3 So they just go unnoticed.

Heck, Dawn of the Damned is related to Darling Duality, and even though DD is my most popular project, I can’t seem to get people to check out Dawn of the Damned, haha. At this point, the tiny demo for DD has 44.7k downloads (this still blows my mind o.o), and yet despite Dawn of the Damned being a completed project and set in the same universe featuring future DD characters, it only has 4036 total downloads as of today x3 If I can’t get the majority of my own followers to check out a game I made that’s set in the same universe, I have no hope of getting them to find my other yandere stuff T_T and even less hope of getting my games in front of people who have never heard of me as a dev, haha.

I’ve even had a handful of people tell me that they think Apartment No.9 is my best game, and that Doyle is their favourite ever yandere guy, but the project only has 3680 downloads x3

But yeah, my analytics on itch are really skewed cos pretty much all the numbers are for Darling Duality and my Yandere Heaven fandub. I may have somehow managed to get a fair few followers on there over the years, but I think probably something like 90% of them (possibly even more than that) are waiting for DD and aren’t interested in my other projects.

My poor Yandere Heaven fandub has received some attention (in fact, it’s actually beating DD on total downloads somehow), but there has been a lot of negativity + a looooot of 1* and 2* bad ratings on itch because, for some reason, people don’t realise it’s a fandub even though I put that very clearly on the page T_T So they rate the game badly with comments saying the story sucks, or that having no choices is stupid, the characters are dumb, or that it’s too goofy and OTT. None of which is even my fault since I’m trying to faithfully recreate the original content. All I wanted to do was make a Japanese drama CD into a VN fandub game >.< haha. 

I can’t believe I’ve rambled so much anyhow xD I’m so sorry, haha. It’s just one of those things that causes me a lot of confusion x3 I know I can’t handle social media very well and I fail at promo, but I can’t understand why a majority of my projects receive so few views/downloads in comparison to DD >.< I can’t for the life of me figure out what’s so appealing about DD and not my other stuff, haha. Unless it’s literally just cos Manly played it x3

Before I go though, I just wanna say a big thank you for playing my stuff :3 It really means a lot! I hope you get to have a super duper year ahead <3

[mydemonsdrivealimo]

16 + 22 + 23 for Jensen and Bryce!

ah tysm!!!! going into more detail than i need to but idk how much u know ab them. so.

16. how does your OC feel about their parents?

jensen has a very complicated relationship w his mom. his dad wasn't really in the picture after he was 5 or so (when he moved to the states) so it was just him and his mom until he was 15-16 ish when she lost custody. while a lot of people see it as black and white, just accepting she was a "bad" mother, jensen has always defended her bc he knew she was trying her best. and maybe she wasn't all the time, but he had to believe it for his own sake. they struggled a lot bc she really had no plan when she moved them. for many years they bounced in and out of assisted housing programs, friends couches, shelters, and questionable apartments, and it led to a lot of tension and anger and abuse (mainly emotional/verbal). jensen got into some trouble, which blew up into huge issue that ended up w him in juvie for a month (dw, all resolved and his record was sealed bc the incident in no way warranted that amount of punishment) which is how she lost custody. they haven't talked since then (despite jensens efforts over the years) and jensen doesn't fully process or get over that relationship until he's in his mid 30s

as for bryce, canonically he has a terrible relationship w his parents. they fucked over a LOT of people where he grew up (property tycoons turned white collar criminals) which completely severed any relationship he had w his community and culture. the second he went to college he cut ties w them aside from a few calls here and there to talk to keiki (his younger sister by 12 years). he's been trying to get as far away from them as possible since then, going to cali for undergrad/med school and boston for residency. canonically he ends up talking to his mom when keiki unpromptedly comes to live w him bc he can't exactly afford to take on a child, and another time during book 3. in my hc, he never has a strong relationship w his mom or dad again. he talks to them when he needs to for keiki, and tries not to start shit, but he really has no desire to rekindle a relationship w them (but ESP his dad as he always put more pressure on him when he was younger, which meant A Lot of fights and arguments). he ends up being close w an aunt on his mom's side, but that's ab as close as he gets to ever having a relationship w any parental figures

22. what is holding your OC back to achieve their goals?

both bryce and jensen are very committed to achieving their goals (they are both generally regarded as cold and pushy by others in their field/year) but ofc they have obstacles

bryces is his confidence. he is so used to doing everything right and perfect that the second one small thing goes wrong he crumbles. it's seen a couple times in canon, and truly he freaks out if something goes wrong and it's his fault. jensen helps him work through it (in a very point-blank jensen way) but it's always hard for him to learn from mistakes bc he is completely in denial that he can make them

honestly jensen is in his own way a lot? he pushes himself hard. to the point where he needs to take a break but won't acknowledge it until he's going to die, or at least feels like it (but even then he's good at ignoring it). he locks in on one goal to the point of ignoring everything else he needs to focus on. he's just not great at balance. and at the same time, he has a lot of anxiety and depression and ocd and undiagnosed autism that has always felt like a hurdle he had to go over. he's always felt that things are 10 times more difficult for him than they are for everyone else, and he never knew why. but he's also never let himself acknowledge it or slow down to accommodate himself. there's just very few times in his life that he's slowed down enough to consider himself as a factor in reaching his goals

23. what are your OC’s biggest flaws and biggest strengths?

(vibrating in my seat ab this one. oh bryce the lies im ab to spill ab you) bryces biggest flaw is that he is so committed to the image he's made of himself. bryce was thrown into life w no idea what he was doing, so it was a lot of guesswork. to combat that, he has developed this perfectly carefree, confident, egotistical, and arrogant image of a person that has pushed him to the top of his class and his profession. he essential faked it till he made it. and in a way, that is his biggest strength, too. he pushed through so much bs just by pretending he was okay until he was that honestly, people believed it. but the second something happens that's out of his control? something that completely disrupts the front he has built and perfectly molded for years? he fucking loses it. lots of breakdowns, lots of depressive episodes, he just can't handle it. and it takes him a while to pick himself back up, and sure, he will, but it's the massively unpredictable stuff that makes him stagnant for days, weeks, months on end

jensens biggest strength is that he is resilient as fuck. it has a lot to do w him just growing up poor, but also bc again, he does not make space to accommodate himself. he will push and push through so much shit until he gets to a space where he can allow himself to be comfortable. but, his biggest flaw is that he is convinced he isn't resilient. he has been there for every fuck up, every rock bottom, and every point of no return. he feels that the bad has outweighed the good, as if theyre on a scale at all. again, this has a lot to do w the undiagnosed autism, but he has always felt like there's something different about him in a way that he had to "fix". that makes it difficult for him to do things "right". eventually he starts to learn and grow from this, and can acknowledge that actually, yeah, he HAS endured a lot of bs that he hasnt just unpacked yet. but it has just always been in the back of his head in a way that weighs him down a lot

[thatdesklamp]

hey! i’m the anon that once asked you about ur english a level if you even care to remember lmaoo. I JUST SAW THE REBLOGGED POST WHERE ANOTHER READER SAID THEY HATED SATORU FROM IW AND I’M???

obviously everyone’s entitled to their own opinions. i think that’s the point of reading anything tbh, form your own opinions and decide whether you like something/someone or not, bUT I LITERALLY CANNOT HELP BUT DISAGREE SO STRONGLY 😭 i’ve literally never felt this strongly about a person’s opinion on a fictional character let alone how the fictional character was written in a FANFIC 😀

and obviously, no hate to them or whatever. as i said, their opinion is theirs, i just randomly felt the need to tell you mine (ik you never asked, i’m bored and my student finance situation is pissing me off so here i am lol). i think the reason why i feel so offended (jokingly haha) about any hate towards satoru in ur fic is bcz you’ve written him identical to how satoru in the actual anime/manga is, so i felt like it was a well aimed punch to canon!satoru and as his certified wife, i can’t stand by and watch this happen 😟

he makes dumb decisions sometimes but i think that has a lot to do with the fact that hebi is quite literally his oldest friend and allowing whatever feelings he has to get in the way of that (without knowing whether she likes him or not from his pov) is risky in terms of their friendship and where that’ll take them. like in the chapter where they had their first kiss, ofc, we as readers know why she backed off and what she meant by how she couldn’t “do this anymore” (or something along those lines), but he was never aware of her NON-PLATONIC feelings towards him, so i think (i say think bcz i’m the reader and you’re the author so what you say GOES) he was just confused by what she meant.

like if i were to randomly start telling you a story of my life with no context, and you hear me say names of my friends somewhere along that story, but i never TOLD you they were my friends, you’d think “oh who’s that?” until i clarified who they are to me. quite like how he was probably confused when she was explaining how she couldn’t allow herself to indulge in something that she thought wasn’t reciprocated. he had no context and was therefore just… stupid lmao 😭 he was criticising her for leaving even tho she promised to stay bcz he just didn’t understand (not saying it’s hebi’s fault in ANY way, she is MOTHER, i will defend her till the day i die).

yeah i have a lot of other reasons why satoru is not a bad person in ur fic (he’s literally a copy of himself in canon, kudos to ur BRILLIANT writing and characterisation of him) but ik you’re probably bored and i have to go turn the house heating on bcz uk weather is no joke 😀

Hello!!

This is so so funny and lovely to hear—I’ve heard so much variety in opinions on Gojo in my fic, mainly through the comments, and so it’s so lovely when people genuinely take a proper big opinion on either side of the ‘debate’. I fully get why people would be anti-Gojo just because we’re so invested in Hebi’s perspective and when she’s treated poorly/feeling shit, it does reflect poorly on him. I think that’s why I found it fun to write the Satoru-pov oneshots; IW is such a case of ‘unreliable narrator’-ism in a way that’s not always immediately evident, and so taking yourself out of Hebi’s perspective and immersing yourself in someone else’s can really help to get a more well-rounded view of all the characters, I guess.

But yeah, I’m glad you think IW Gojo is similar to canon Gojo! I used to struggle so much with his characterisation with him as a kid, which was I think partly because he was a child and that’s difficult anyway, but also because IW was one of the first things I’d written in… like, actual years, and I wasn’t that good at writing at that point.

I do think a lot of Satoru’s dumb actions come from ignorance, in whatever aspect, and I think it’s up to the reader as to how much they ‘blame’ him for that. Especially in the later chapters: should he have noticed Hebi’s degredation in mental health, and should he have done something about it if he did, even if she had never reached out to him? She did, after all, never actually confide in him about anything troubling her: I made it a point to state it multiple times. That, I guess, is where people’s opinions will inevitably differ, as to assigning both blame and responsibility. The idea will come up a lot next chapter, but—perhaps it’s almost similar to the Geto/Gojo situation. Yes, Gojo noticed a change, and yes, he tried to talk to Geto about it: but did he do enough? Should he have tried harder? Would it have even made a difference? People have different opinions on their split, too, because it’s not so set in stone. I think that’s the main reason people would dislike IW Satoru.

More about ignorance: you’re right, I can’t see him knowing about Hebi’s feelings. Satoru’s so much more of an active character than Hebi, who is intentionally very passive (if only ‘intentionally’ so I can have the slowburn make some degree of sense, lmao, but hey!). If he knew, I’d have to have him confront her about it. Like, I cannot see Gojo *not* pushing for something if he ever thought there was a possibility of her reciprocating. So, in my head, it can be concluded from his lack of action pre-kiss, that he absolutely doesn’t think she likes him back, and he also absolutely doesn’t want to fuck up the friendship. Again: it’s so, so, so important to him. I try to justify it in the oneshots—I know so much of this is #miscommunication, but controversial opinion, miscommunication adds to the drama and is fun under CERTAIN SITUATIONS, it’s not always a bad thing. LOL.

But also low-key I get why people wouldn’t like him. But also I get why people would, and would be more than fucked off with Hebi. And why people would be somewhere in the middle. Idk where I stand, they’re just both my lil pooks, yk. <3

But hell yeah! I love ur Satoru defence squad. And enjoy your heating (😀) and respite from student finance—I wouldn’t wish that process on my worst enemy </3

[sweet--sweet--muffin]

My Millennial Tree Cookie Headcannons bc why tf not-

• Millennial Tree is bigender and doesn’t mind going by any pronouns (but mainly likes to go by She/Her and He/Him) I got this headcanon from a silly thought where Millennial Tree is just Father Time in the body of Mother Nature, and this thought spiked in my head when I found out he’s a  m a n.

• She likes to go on a morning or nightly stroll throughout the forest. She be singing like a Disney princess while doing so. (as if she isn’t already a Disney princess).

• Can also tame even the most vicious animals.

• Her smile is so gentle and serene, it can calm the most furious storm

• While Millennial Tree might seem nonchalant about anyone threatening him, it doesn’t stop him from protecting the land from anything that may endanger it and gets worried about how the effects of said threat has impacted on the ones she holds dear. He’s especially worried about what DE and Pomegranate did to Wind Archer Cookie when he was Night Raven, because she can imagine the suffering he had to endure and has to reassure Wind Archer that it’s not his fault for letting the darkness consume him.

• Millennial Tree is basically like Oogway from Kung Fu Panda in a way

• She fucking loves Wind Archer dearly and for l i f e andhefeelsthesamethoCOUGH. MT is very appreciative of him as her guardian and protector, but sees him as something more to her than that and cherishes him as her dear friend (being called a “friend” by the Millennial Tree, the very being he is sworn to protect, bewildered Wind Archer at first but felt honored and humbled by the sentiment)

• MT is very fond of Carol Cookie, Mint Choco Cookie and Clover Cookie, along with their music, but is also curious about the kind of music that DJ Cookie makes. MT and DJ Cookie formed an unlikely yet unique friendship over this.

• Speaking of which, due to being foreign to the current period of time, Millennial Tree occasionally messes up figures of speech and has a tendency to use very outdated slang in an attempt to socialize with her fellow Cookies. (Her fellow Cookie friends would find the effort adorable)

• He wished there is something he can do to undo Sea Fairy’s curse, but SF appreciates the thought and insists that this is something she has to fight on her own. MT’s kindness towards her is one of the things that brings warmth to her heart and it’s also one that motivates her to fight her fate.

• She can manipulate the height of her own Cookie form, but her real height is that she’s fucking b i g. Like bigger than any of the dragons’ cookie forms and the OG legend squad (Moonlight, Wind Archer, Sea Fairy and Fire Spirit) had to hold in their laughter at their height differences, much to the dragons’ dismay.

• MT loves to lay in flowerbeds and admire the sky. He sometimes ends up falling asleep and his sleeping position in laying down is messy, looking like he fell from the 7th floor. Wind almost had a heart attack when he thought that he’s dead but MT is actually just sleeping. His snoring is soft tho-

• MT has a one-sided rivalry to Timekeeper and finds the effort in TK being a stronger time user than her kinda concerning bc even though it might not seem like it, MT actually cares for Timekeeper’s well-being. Timekeeperishellagayforherbutshewon’tadmitthat-

• He met Adventurer Cookie in The City of The Millennial Tree by the time where MT’s curse was broken and when Adventurer came to check what the hell was going on as he had heard a big sound in the forest, he saw Millennial Tree. Adventurer basically fell for his beauty and just... asked him so many questions about the city (and abt MT himself ofc). They became friends after this and Adventurer would share his stories from his adventures whenever MT asks him about them out of genuine curiosity.

• The dragons don’t like her. Not one bit. Probably the one thing they all can agree on. They never thought about her serene, warm smile when they saw her. Pitaya definitely didn’t thought about how feisty and bold MT can be, especially when she was made aware of Pitaya’s awakening. Ananas definitely didn’t thought about her consideration and thoughtfulness in protecting the land she calls home. Lotus definitely didn’t thought about her soothing voice that would probably be in tune with their own melody when they’d play their mandolin. Lychee definitely didn’t thought about how fun of a playmate she could be when they saw her playing with the Cookiemals. And Longan definitely didn’t thought about how the mere thought of MT herself brings an abundance of warmth in their chest. Yeah. They all hate her very much.

• Fire Spirit once burned MT’s head branch for fun when he’s out in the forest and didn’t realized that branch belonged to someone. Or rather attached to someone- And that’s how those two met. MT was pretty chill abt the encounter despite his head branch being burnt tho.

• MT explained her meeting with Fire Spirit to Wind Archer and that’s how his tension with him increased, thinking that FS is actually gonna burn MT (which is an accident, at least to Millie).

• Butterflies like to crowd land on his branches and MT finds it adorable.

[shrinkthisviolet]

cute character questions for Morgan :)

Gladly! I love talking about her 🥰

Basics

Name: Jessica Morgan Wells (goes by “Morgan”. Went by “Jesse” pre-Eowells…she was only a baby then, but still)

Age: ...depends on when you ask 😅 her birthday is October 11, 1998! She turns 16 during early s1, 17 during early s2, and so on

Zodiac sign: Libra

One good trait: Resourceful—if she wants something done, she will often do whatever it takes

One bad trait: She’s reckless to a fault, especially when it comes to protecting people (her loved ones mainly, but also just…people she feels responsible for). This often gets her into trouble (ex: Zoom in s2 threatening her with Jesse’s life because he can deduce some sort of connection between them)

Habits

One good habit: She’s not gullible. Unless she unequivocally trusts the person telling her something, she’ll have doubts about it and try to verify it herself.

One bad habit: She’s so used to people-pleasing that she falls back into it with close loved ones…even to her own detriment

One habit she can’t break: As above…people-pleasing :( she does slowly recover from it, but it takes a while

Family

Her parents’ names:

Harrison Gertrude* Wells (father)

Esther "Tess" Morgan (birth mother)

Christina "Tina" McGee (godmother -> mother)

*this is a headcanon, but you can pry it from my cold, dead hands ✋

Her siblings’ names: Henrytina and Westallen ofc aren’t married yet in the AU, but they’re endgame, so this is what the sibling relationships will look like by s4:

Jesse Chambers Wells (doppelgänger/“cosmic sister”)

Barry Allen (stepbrother)

Iris West-Allen (stepsister-in-law)

(There’s also Wally and Linda but like. Truth be told, idk what the exact relationship is for them besides in-laws 😅)

Favorite childhood memory: When she was very little (pre-age-7), she used to be terrified of thunderstorms. Eowells sometimes let her curl up next to him on the couch while he worked, where she usually fell asleep...but one day, he decided on a different approach. He told her a story about a hero surrounded by lightning, who used it to power his superspeed and save lots of people. Morgan never feared thunderstorms after that...and the day she met the Flash, she saw that hero in him 🥰

(This may have been some of Eobard’s lingering hero worship...after all, as much as he hates Barry, he loves him too. He never names the Flash in the story, but Morgan recognizes so many elements of that hero in Barry when Sentry and the Flash first team up)

Favorite childhood toy: a rainbow slinky! She loved playing with it 💞 but she's not sure what happened to it

Embarrassing story: The pre-accelerator STAR Labs crew found out she could sing because they walked in on Morgan dancing around the Cortex with her headphones on, singing loudly but not realizing it 😂 Caitlin and Cisco insist to this day that it was adorable, but Morgan is so embarrassed by it

Favorite family member: Tina!

A story about that family member: She has a younger sister, Eleanor, though she hasn't spoken to her since a few years after moving to America. Not out of anything malicious, but they sort of...lost touch. Tina also often wonders if their parents had a hand in splitting them up...but she knows she also could've done more to stay in touch instead of letting them grow more and more distant from each other

What they prefer

coffee or tea?

showering in the day or night?

taking baths or taking showers?

tv or movies?

writing or reading?

platonic or romantic love?

iced tea or lemonade?

ice cream or smoothies?

cupcakes or cake?

beach or mountains?

Favorites

Song: Style by Taylor Swift

Band: Imagine Dragons

Outfit: Jeans and her black STAR Labs sweater! She has a gray one too, but she prefers the black one:

Though she doesn’t really wear it off-the-shoulder like Jesse does 😂

(There’s another favorite outfit she’ll have later, which will eclipse the STAR Labs sweaters as her favorite…but that’s a spoiler for a later arc!)

Place: Tina’s house and STAR Labs

Memory: Tina celebrating with Morgan the day Morgan found out she could skip two grades 🥹 Eowells treated it as a big thing too (as he should), and Morgan was pleased that she could impress her dad, but…Tina was always supportive in a way that felt more like sharing a victory than earning a trophy (if that makes sense 😅)

Person(s): Tina and Barry 🥰

Movie: Empire Strikes Back!

Show: Wizards of Waverly Place

oc ask game!

Taglist (send an ask or DM to be added or removed):

@ocappreciationtag @arrthurpendragon @vexic929 @raith-way @ironverseocs @thechaoticfanartist @goldheartedchaoticdisaster @negative-speedforce

[arom-com]

hi hope this is ok but i've seen sooo many of ur posts tagged as renbrand and i am ... perhaps .... a little curious .... would u like to tell me abt them !!!! 👀👀 (its ok if not ofc)

Ofc!! I sure have been tagging them a lot huh

The short version is that they’re my unhinged lesbian ocs stuck in a murder timeloop

Longer version is this:

(I am not going to be able to explain this in any way approaching coherent) (but I will try!!) (sorry in advance for the Wall of Text)

So RenBrand stands for these two:

Ren Hayashi (23, she/they) university student studying criminal psychology, abandonment issues out the wazoo, Going Through It

Brand Reitveld (26, she/her) local gang leader, Control Issues TM, definitely the cat in whatever cat-and-mouse thing they have going on

They’re in love — it’s not even remotely healthy.

Basically, through no fault of their own, they got stuck in a long-form time loop (days/months rather than strict 24h) that resets whenever one of them dies, which wouldn’t be too much of an issue? Except a) they’ve never met and don’t know they’re stuck together, and b) Ren keeps getting fucking murdered

Bc!! Ren’s psychology prof is running a secret cult (trying to turn his crim psy students into serial killers, it’s a whole thing, very cringe of him) so she gets killed for accidentally getting in the way a couple times (she doesn’t know about the cult), and then ofc starts investigating, which only makes it worse (I feel so bad for her but it’s also really funny, saddest most pathetic sopping wet oc I’ve ever created)

(Some of Ren’s deaths are also caused by Brand who’s like listen I don’t have a grudge against you or anything but you do keep getting my people killed so I have to eliminate the threat, no hard feelings! And Ren is like I am in abject misery)

(strangers to enemies to lovers except the strangers to enemies is a speedrun and the enemies to lovers is a slow burn)

The story they’re from is sort of a dark mystery-slash-romance (think nbc hannibal meets groundhog day, which is certainly a sentence), and it’s mainly centred around Ren and her corruption arc as she goes from “tired student just trying to finish her dissertation if it kills her” to “codependent mob-wife who kills first and asks questions later”

I’m obsessed with time as a narrative device, and especially time loops, because it can be used in such interesting ways!! And the interesting part about time loops to me is that they’re like,,,,, rube goldberg machines for character development? You only stick a character in a time loop when you need them to undergo a pretty drastic change without a proper catalyst, and it forces them to wear themselves down to their bones, to find the very essence of what they are, and then build themselves back up again into their ideal and purest form of self. (Of course, some people just use them as a tool for romance, but that’s boring!! Boo)

Usually time loops exist to make a character better, because they’re given some kind of epiphany that makes them the best and kindest version of themselves. (Alternatively, they can be used as the cosmic equivalent of a washing machine spin cycle if you’re writing horror) But what interests Me is the idea of using a time loop to make a character worse, which is what I’m doing to Ren (and to a lesser extent, Brand)

And it’s not just corruption for corruption’s sake, either! Ren, as she is, is miserable — she’s completely isolated, unable to achieve any of her goals, and ultimately ends up getting killed in an impersonal way for impersonal reasons — but once the loop begins and she gets her second chance, she starts to wear away at all her self-imposed barriers and boundaries until she can start making her own decisions and being an active agent in her own life. Of course, she’s not choosing to do good, but the best version of herself is not necessarily Good or Kind, it’s just Authentic.

Brand, on the other hand — because she has more support and isn’t as repressed — is experiencing the time loop less as a vehicle for character development, and more as a perpetual time travel fix-it (which is SO fun, having two characters get wildly different outcomes from the same experience). Her problems are more interpersonal rather than internal, so where Ren is using the extra time to understand herself, Brand uses it to understand the world around her (and is thus doing a much better job at actually solving the plot, we love a girlboss).

Brand’s conflicts are with her brother (who I can’t even Begin to explain without adding another thousand words to this post), and (as the leader of the local gang) with the police & the murder cult, which means that a lot of her loops are spent information-gathering (and murdering, dw abt it)

Personality-wise Ren is pretty quiet, she doesn’t like to ask for things which means she gets into miscommunications a lot (people not helping when she wishes they would, people helping when she doesn’t need it bc they think she just doesn’t want to ask), she’s a very “the only one you can rely on is yourself” kind of person, which isn’t exactly ideal for someone you’re stuck in a time loop with but at least it means she never gives up? She also doesn’t really care what people think of her — or rather, she does care, but she doesn’t let it stop her

Brand is suffering from a lethal combination of being the youngest sibling and simultaneously the eldest daughter, so she’s great at asking for help and using her resources but it means that she a) is a little entitled about it, and b) needs to feel like she has perfect control over everything or she’ll die. She’s very possessive and protective over things that she considers hers (hence murdering Ren for getting her people killed, it’s fine they get over it)

Renbrand also come equipped with two sets of narrative foils (Brand’s disabled ex-ballet dancer brother and his bodyguard/love interest, and the cult leader professor and his prized pupil who both hates and loves him for what he’s become) but the word count on this is already obscenely, embarrassingly long so I’ll talk abt them another day maybe

[myjunkisyuzuruhanyu]

hi there, as a new Shoma fan I love your tumblr so much!

however I am part of other skating communities and I’ve seen so much dislike (even hate) for shoma and it makes me really sad. It seems to be mainly yuzuru fans too, which is even sadder because shoma has done nothing but looking up to yuzuru (and being second to him 🥺) his whole skating career.

…I just don’t get it? I haven’t been following fs fandom politics but this just seems too much. Is there some background I should know of?

Hey anon,

Glad you like my Tumblr, you're welcome and thank you for following! 😊

Regarding your question...well there is no easy answer and there are many different "reasons" for the hate (if you even can call hating reasonable) ...I don't think hate is necessary ever. No need to hate on ppl you do not like especially when it's about things they aren't at fault like scoring.

I would say that any skater at the top has haters...(I mean just look at Ilia Malinin and he isn't even in seniors for long)...but you are right that the Shoma hate can be very strong...

There are two different paths of background to the hate...

On one side there is the sport related part: overscoring, technique issues and Shoma being perceived as better politically supported and backed up by JSF than Yuzu (calling him JSFs pet or saying that Shoma's family buys his scores etc to just name a few)

I don't want to go into detail whether some of those claims do have truth to it because this would turn into an essay. Just in short: Is Shoma overscored? On some elements it can happen, but he has also other values that aren't rightfully awarded all the time...Does Shoma have a "problematic" technique? On some jumps like the Flip for sure, but not in all jumps and not to the extent that would make his jumps invalid (even if you will see ppl say this his jumps are approved by a lot if technical experts, the evaluation in scoring is a different matter though) Is Shoma favored by the JSF? Shoma does have the political backup of JSF but I don't think more than a skater with his skill and reputation normally gets. (this is a personal opinion as even ppl who like Shoma have different opinions on this)

The other "issue" with Shoma is a bit more complicated and more about Shoma's assumed personality than skating related. In 2019 Shoma said one problematic sentence in a stream that turned ppl off. I don't go into detail here, but I have talked about the subject many times, one of my replies you can find here:

It should also be mentioned that also Shoma fans have been disappointed in Shoma's words at that time and I do think it's completely fine if you decide to not support Shoma because of it BUT I do think that his words have been blown out of proportion by the fandom and I think after 3+ years where none of Shoma's words or actions support any of the previously said words ppl really should think twice about their final judgment. But ofc you have to build your own opinion about it and if you or anyone else needs to talk about it, just send me a PM. (there are also multiple other posts where I already answered many questions about it, you can go through my #replies tag to find more) I stay vague on this post on purpose as it's not in the asked question but it's needed as a background story

____

Because you mentioned Yuzu...

The Yuzu fans who are haters are imo a special category...there is a more specific history behind it...

Let's say if Shoma would have never got close to beating Yuzu I am sure we wouldn't see as much hate from Yuzu fans...when Shoma emerged to the senior scene he wasn't particularly hated by this group. He was a skater who admired Yuzu and even Yuzu fans liked Shoma a lot especially with the funny "wedding pose" incident in 2015. In 2017 Shoma almost won Worlds above Yuzu and this was the time it started to get really ugly by some fans. Fans who previously liked him, suddenly hated on him. And this trajectory got worse and worse over the years.

Then there is the "problem" of Yuzu having the most fans on any sns as to why you will also see more Yuzu fans being haters than from different skaters. Especially on Twitter you see ppl following one opinion and copying it. Atm you are favored among Yuzu fans if you dislike Shoma. It's sometimes more about the own image than Shoma as I can tell with some hypocrites who like my Shoma posts here,but talk bad about him on Twitter. (it doesn't happen as rarely as you would think)

____

I think it's completely fine to adress issues with Shoma's scores, technique and also his words. But there is always a respectful way to do it and there is no reason for ill wishes and name calling etc...we can have a discourse about almost anything but in a respectful way.

[lionews]

"Whats wrong with the POSSIBLE new layout?"

It's ugly.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions ofc ^^

I think it's mainly because I struggle to handle change. Which, of course, is nobody's fault but my own.

For gods' sake, I had a meltdown over my mom *mentioning* that she was replacing the dishes/silverware. I'm 22 (almost 23). That shit is embarrassing as fuck and I've been trying my best to get over it lol.

Absolutely no hate to anyone who likes the new layout!! It just reminds me of the old vs new subway design/layout.

On the left(or top), good Subway, friendly Subway. On the right(or bottom)... ABSOLUTE HELL.

.

[medicaltechnician]

idk if its the late nights and lack of activity (my own fault) but i’ve been feeling like i need out of this friend group more and more. Idk what it is (i do, it just seems… petty and stupid. And just seems like a me problem not a them problem.)

problem ofc is that, there are a couple people i like as friends in the group. hell fuck i love them all and don’t want them out of my life completely. sort of wish that I didn’t have my ex out of my life completely. Maybe one day we can reconnect. But we both have to be more mature for that. We both need more growth. No idea how he’s doing.

I feel like I villified him a bit in my brain. Which was urged by my closest friend. Who I trust with my life so. (this was after I confessed maybe I have problems with him to to this friend. which was valid). Idk, people approach things differently. And I agree’d with my friend.

I think its a problem with how I talk. I guess I come off in absolutes? Idk. I give off, strange vibes when I talk. This tangent makes no sense to anybody but me.

But also, can’t just, drop em? They’re sort of my only friend group. It ain’t like I get out and about. I don’t mesh well with people. It sort of sucks that the most I’ve meshed well with is my ex, my bestie, and another friend. My ex is no contact so fuck me ig. My bestie is pre-occupied with other things and personally, I feel we’ve drifted a bit. I’m not too bothered by it? It’s neither of our faults, just taking different life paths. Also going from complete co-dependency to what we have now. What we have now is probably just normal friendship lmao. And then the other friend is a couple years younger than me, so obviously they do have their set of friends within their age group. Which I encourage them hanging out, like obviously. I see myself as more of an older brother figure ig. Try to part some wisdom I’ve gained. Then theres my crush and obviouslt rhats a mess, I wish I never had a crush on him so we could have a normal relationship. I wish I could have friends?? Idk. what am I talking bout?

So, yeah. I need to get out of the house more often so I can meet like-minded people (in the creative and path sense) so I can actually do the things I want to do. I don’t even need to be a producer or lead or director. Fuck I’m happy starting from the bottom and working my way up. (Ideal situation is mainly being on equal footing. I want people to give their input and ideas to my ideas, and vise versa)