#which is pretty big this year haha i hope ill finish it all in time

[chocopink]

Can you draw undyne and alphys screaming “so cool” at a random anime.

whatever it is they're watching, there's definitely giant swords in it

[vickyvicarious]

"Why not go on?" I asked. She shook her head, and, coming back, sat down in her place. Then, looking at me with open eyes, as of one waked from sleep, she said simply:— "I cannot!" and remained silent. I rejoiced, for I knew that what she could not, none of those that we dreaded could. Though there might be danger to her body, yet her soul was safe!

Somehow, I had thought last year that Van Helsing was bunking down with Mina inside the wafer circle. But it doesn't seem that he is, since here he mentions the fire being outside of it, and later on when they're being circled by the vampire ladies, he attributes his own safety to the holy wafer he is holding up at them, and Mina's to the circle.

This is interesting on a couple of levels, because on the one hand it points pretty definitively towards him not feeling safe resting next to her. It makes me feel like he really strongly suspects he might've been drunk from the night before, or at least that he fears she might do so tonight. And yet, he is also willing to give her all the surefire protection, and rely on only a wafer in the hand for himself. He didn't even make himself a separate circle. I suspect his supply is finally running low and he wants to make sure he has enough for the job in the morning/anything that might have to be done with Dracula, so he's trying to save the rest. That means that him giving up some of his finite supply is a real sacrifice, one which again places her own safety over his own. He's holding true to his promise to protect her to the fullest extent of his abilities, regardless of the risk to himself. If he faltered in his vigilance during the night, he could have fallen prey to the vampire women.

EDIT: disregard the above paragraph, literally right after posting I noticed that he does (and Mina also) actually mention he is in the circle too, haha. Guess I had reason for thinking that before, and this was more a brainfart moment. But actually that raises the question of how much is he trusting her, here. I still feel like he fears her a lot at this point but even after he sees she cannot cross the line he stays within it with her, which is a big show of deliberate trust in a way. Maybe his supply is running low so he doesn't know if he has enough for a second circle, but still. He's choosing to believe in her and to take the best interpretation of her reaction here.

Of course, there's also the risk of wolves for both of them. But he says he is happy because her soul will be safe, even if Mina could be killed by wolves. Is he taking comfort that the vampire women can't get to her? Well, that seems to be the case, but at the same time, it doesn't make much sense because Van Helsing is the one who has repeatedly said Mina is doomed to turn when she dies regardless of what kills her at this point. So I don't really think that's it. I think it's that, not only can the vampire women (or Van Helsing if they turn him, or even Dracula if he returns) not get to her, but also if Mina dies for any reason, if she finishes turning, she can't leave. She'll remain in the circle, and he will at least save her soul from the crimes it would commit as a vampire, by holding her in place and preventing her from ever committing them. None of the other vampires can approach so they can't let her out. The only way she gets out is if someone human helps her (and Van Helsing is the only one around for miles), or if she regains enough humanity to do so on her own (which will happen if they kill Dracula as planned).

Her reaction to the vampire women gives him hope that it's really not too late for her, and later on he takes comfort in her pale and ill appearance, but it kinda seems like he was planning for ways to minimize the harm to her soul even in a worst-case scenario.

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

[theimprobabledreamersworld]

Hi Dreamer, happy Friday!

Ghostie here :) Hope your work projects have been going well and you get to have a nice, relaxed weekend. I love the idea with the curated New Music playlist! I've been listening to Midnights in October by Dom Fera while writing. Warning: It's pretty sad.

I've been struggling a little these past few days- I've been sick, which has at least given me the time to finish my latest chapter. But it's the longest so far, and all I have gotten in terms of feedback was a literal two-word comment: "Very good." Which is nice, but after pouring my heart out for like 7,000+ words, it's not a lot. I know, I know, write for yourself ;) But getting any sort of response to something I love so much would be nice, you know? Well, any response in addition to "Very good," it's better than nothing, bless that person, haha.

ANYWAY, long story short, here's one of my fav parts from the recent chapter. L and C have just learned pretty big things about each other. They've been best friends for many years but have been growing apart even before L left for college, partly because of these secrets.

-- "I'm sorry." Saying it now won't make a difference, but L cannot possibly keep it in. When she sees C's confused expression, she goes on. "I wish we could have talked about this while you were still alive. I wish I could go back and do things differently. How did we get here? Why did we…?" She doesn't really know how to finish her question. Why did we stop being a part of each other's lives?

One look into her friend's eyes tells her that she knows exactly what L is talking about. "I'm sorry, too. That I wasn't the person you felt you could trust with this big secret. And that I didn't trust you with mine. Guess we both kinda fucked this up, huh?" C tries to laugh, but L knows what her sobs sound like. She didn't know ghosts could cry. --

Thank you for your continued kindness. It means more than you know.

-Ghostie

Hey Ghostie :)

Don't worry, I haven't forgotten about this! My workload piles up like crazy... and I got very engrossed in planning a story I'm writing with a friend :)

Ah no, being ill really sucks... I trust you're feeling better now? I understand what you mean about feedback too, but I'm sure more people will feedback on it soon! I'd love to read the whole story some day :D

Aww that last chapter sounds soo sad, but really good at the same time! It really shows how close they were even though they drifted apart, that closure moment hits the nail on the head, the acknowledgement from both sides that things could have been different... but they're together now :) You're such an amazing writer!!

I promise that I'll never be ignoring messages intentionally, being a freelance music teacher means my workload can increase at a moments notice- so I promise I'll always reply, it just might take me a few days sometimes! :)

[purplesurveys]

1184

survey by xflirtykaosx

Alphabetti Spaghetti (2/3)

F o r e v e r - y o u r s - F

Do you fancy any celebrities? If so, who? KIM TAEHYUUUUUUNGGGGGGGGG

Do you watch any FBI shows? Which ones? No.

Have you ever been to a festival? Which one? I don’t think so.

Do you have a fireplace in your house? Hell no. Just the idea of having a fireplace considering where I live and the general climate we have all year makes me nauseous haha.

Do you have a hot flask? I’m not so sure what you mean but if you’re referring to tumblers like Hydro Flask that keep drinks hot/cold for a really long time then yeah, I have one.

What decade were you four in? 2000s.

Do you like the TV show Friends? I love it. I haven’t watched an episode in a while, but it’s always a go-to for me whenever I feel really really really down.

Do you like the feeling of cat fur? Sure, it’s pleasant. Same with dog fur.

Go girl, go; G

Do you have a back garden? Not really a garden but we do have a sort of backyard; basically some space behind the house. 

Do you have a gentle touch? Idk...depends on what I’m holding or touching, I guess? Like I would obviously hold an infant as gently and gingerly as possible, but I wouldn’t pay as much attention if I’m holding something ordinary like my phone.

Do you like girly programmes like Gossip Girl? LOL at girly. Who says Gossip Girl and literally any other show out there has to be for a certain audience?

Do you ever use gloves? Only when I order from Frankie’s since they provide gloves with their meals.

Do you prefer gold or silver? Silver.

Are you a greedy person? What makes you greedy? A little bit, when it comes to food hahaha. I don’t like sharing and I get angry if someone eats a portion I already called dibs on.

Have you ever seen a gypsy? No.

Hold on honey, I'm here. - H

Do you have any bad habits? What? I pick at my nails - either set - when I get tense. I also tend to get a liiiiitle bit reckless with my money, if I do choose to spend. I’m pretty self-disciplined for the most part, but I let that go as soon as I give myself the green light lol. Exhibit A would be me spending a total of nearly P7,000 just this week alone on BTS merch...

Do you know anyone called Helen? I don’t think so. My dad has a cousin named Helena, though.

Have you ever watched a documentary about Hitler? Not directly related to him, but I remember watching Night Will Fall in high school.

Do you put hm in a lot of your survey answers? Not a lot. Occasionally, though.

When was the last time you went to hospital? What was it for? May last year. Blood and urine tests.

Do you like HP (Harry Potter)? Who's your favourite character? I didn’t grow up with it, but it’s not as if I’m a passionate anti. It’s just not my cup of tea, even after trying to read the books.

Do you spell it honey or hunny? I never spell it as hunny unless I’m saying it sarcastically or playfully with friends.

Are you afraid of this Swine Flu Hype? That’s gone now, right? We’re dealing with something else entirely.

In the end we all die broken. - I

Have you ever been to Ibiza? Nopes.

Do you take ice in your soda/fizzy drinks? I don’t really have a preference as I don’t regularly consume fizzy drinks anyway, as long as it’s not lukewarm.

Who do you think is a complete idiot? Anyone supporting the government at this point is a good runner-up.

Do you often wonder what if? Sometimes. But I also find it a waste of time, so I don’t dwell on them.

Have you ever seen an Igloo? I haven’t.

Do you get ill often? No, almost never.

Do you ever imagine you were not human? What did you imagine you were? No, this has never come to mind.

Do you like sexual innuendos? If it’s not too trashy, sure.

What is your IQ? Idk, I’ve never had it checked.

Do people often call you irrational? I’ve never been called this before, at least not to my face.

Do you think the name Isis is pretty? ...Welp, not anymore.

Do you get itchy eyeballs? That never happens. Is that even possible?

Do you know what ix stands for in roman numerals? 9.

Just breathe baby, breathe. - J

Have you ever been in jail? I have a very vague memory of visiting a prison with my parents before, but I no longer remember why I was there.

Do you like JD (Jack Daniels)? Nahhhhhh. Had a tiny sip of it once, found it absolutely nasty.

Do you get jealous easily? Not anymore.

Do you tell a lot of jokes? Yeah. I like making people laugh, so I drop jokes whenever I can whether I’m in a formal or informal setting.

Do you finish school/college in June? When I was in college, my school year ended every May. Before that, the academic calendar ended every March.  

Kiss me, kill me, thrill me. - K

Do you know a girl called Karla? Yeah, one of the managers at work is a Karla but I don’t work with her. I also went to grade/high school with a girl named Karla; she was my friend for a while as well, but we grew apart over the years.

Did you watch Kenan and Kel? Nope.

Do you prefer kisses or hugs? Depends on the person, I guess. But in the context of being in a relationship, I do love being kissed.

Do you like Korn? I don’t listen to them.

Do you like watching films with Kung Fu in them? Not in particular.

Lessons learnt the hard way are the best I've ever had. - L

Do you like Lady Gaga? She’s okay. I’m not super crazy about her but I tend to like all the stuff she puts out.

When was the last time you had lemonade? Wow, it’s definitely been a while. Maybe a year or so ago? I don’t get to have it a lot; usually only when it’s offered at hotels or resorts when I go on vacation.

Do you ever lie to save your own skin? Sometimes, but I never let the lie be too big just in case it bites me back in the ass one day.

Do you think llamas are cute? Sure.

Do you use Lol a lot? Yes.

Do you think you are lucky or unlucky? Neither.

Melody in my heartstrings. - M

Do you like Mac and Cheese? Loooooove mac and cheese, especially truffle mac and cheese.

Do you ever eat at McDonald’s? What's your usual? Not very often tbh, but I do like McDonald’s. I don’t eat it frequently enough to have a usual order; I get whatever I feel like having at a given moment. And since we’re here, I’m gonna be plugging the BTS Meal, in stores 5/26! HAHAHA

Do you like Medieval games like 7elda? You mean The Legend of Zelda? I do love that franchise, but I don’t like the medieval genre as a whole; I just happened to grow up with the Zelda series and Nintendo as a whole, so I’ve taken a liking to it. 

What's on your mind right now? That it’s Monday again tomorrow. I feel like I’m starting to get burnout :/ I’ve definitely noticed I haven’t been being 100% at work lately...but it could also be because the weather is crappy hot again, which makes it a lot harder to work and keep focused.

Is money in your opinion, the root of all evil? It’s part of it.

Do you like Mr and Mrs the show? I’m not familiar with it.

Do you read murder mystery books? Which ones? No.

Do you find Mystical stuff fascinating? Not really.

Nobody loves me, what a change. - N

Do you know the name of your local shopkeeper? We don’t have those here.

Have you ever been called nerdy? I’m sure I’ve been.

Are you you truly a nice person? I hope that’s what people see and think.

Do you overuse nouns in your sentences? I like using adjectives, for one; but I don’t exactly know how you can overuse nouns hahaha.

Do you know anyone personally who is a nurse? Yes, I have several relatives who are in nursing.

Only you - it always has been. - O

Do you obey authority or deliberately disobey it? Obey for the most part.

Is there anything in your room that is an Octagon? What is it? I don’t think so.

What odor can you smell in the room you're in now? The neutral scent my aircon is blowing out.

Do you get offended easily? I think sensitive would be a more fitting word.

Have you ever been to Ohio? No.

Do you ever say Oi? Sure, but not frequently.

Do you spell it OK or okay? I use both; I don’t have a preference. What I avoid is ‘K,’ though.

Are you older than the number day you were born on? Yes.

Have you ever watched the film the Omen? I haven’t.

Name one thing you always have taken for granted? The basic things, I guess, like breathing.

Have you ever had an operation? On what? Never.

Do you like things in a set order or doesn't it matter? As much as possible I do want things to be organized, yeah. I get restless if I see a very messy spreadsheet or Powerpoint, for instance.

Do you have a habit of overreacting? I was a lot more...theatrical in my reactions before haha. Not so much these days; I’ve toned down a lot.

Do you think Owls are nice? Sure.

Do you know what an Oxymoron is? Yup.

Have you ever tried Oyster? Yessssssss I love them and now you’re making me crave them :(

[birdwonder]

|| the second part of this request ! https://birdwonder.tumblr.com/post/189871809395/not-sure-if-youll-allow-this-or-not-but-ill-try

|| i dont feel as tho i made Senku in character or had a chance to really show his character bc i had to rush this before Christmas ended since i saw the request midday ! and it only makes sense to post it on Christmas ! — if only i had my computer, typing would be so much easier :,)

Senku Ishigami | Christmas Tree Decorating

Christmas wasn’t really a thing to the now announced Kingdom of Science as the ideas of Christianity and Paganism weren’t known to them, so the only two who were truly aware of it were you and Senku. You were in love with the holiday and cherished it every yesr while on the other hand it didn’t seem Senku cared for it at all.

‘We don’t have time to celebrate it, [F/N], we have so much to do. The others can learn about it next year.’

That’s what Senku had told you when you suggested celebrating the holiday, and it broke your heart. It was a family tradition in your home to decorate the tree and have a hearty meal before opening presents, something you knew Senku was aware of, and yet he was still denying your wish to appreciate the holiday. It was only for one day too! The Kingdom of Science could survive a day without all the hassle of needing to make technology or some other complicated thing.

Whatever, you didn’t need him!

You went out of your way to kindly ask Kaseki to create a few glass baubles, even though he was completely confused by their use, and borrowed some rope from the village to thin it into thread to tie onto a tree you asked one of the village men to cut down and carry for you.

As soon as the tree was set up beside the lab, you got to work on decorating it. You were a little disappointed that the baubles couldn’t be colourful due to lack of paint, but you were grateful regardless, knowing that there was always next year to make things look better. Besides, the memory of decorating the tree with your loved ones and enjoying yourself mattered more than the actual appearance, even if you wished Senku was there to join you at least.

Sighing, you shook your head. You didn’t need him! You were having fun all by yourself, as much of a lie that was.

You had finished quickly since the amount of baubles you owned were limited and you didn’t want to ask for more or anything else from Kaseki, especially when he was already working hard for more important causes. Really though, it didn’t look too bad! It wasn’t like you couldn’t sit by it with a warm, toasty fire with your new friends and teach them some carols. With all your hear, you really hoped they would join you or else Christmas would feel like a complete bust.

Still, you wished there was one more thing you could add to it - a tree topper. It didn’t matter what it was; a star, an angel, a bow or even something strange like a pig, you just really wanted a final piece to make the tree a Christmas tree. Sadly, you didn’t have the skills to make anything of the sort, or even the resources.

“Not too shabby. Kind of on the dull side but you really made something of it,” a voice spoke from behind you, alerting you instantly. You tried to turn around to find the source yet was annoyingly stopped by a hand holding onto your waist from behind. Luckily for you, the head of the source of the backhanded compliment peaked over from your shoulder, revealing Senku’s smirk and red eyes.

“Senku? What are you doing here?” You raised a brow, huffing a little with an unintentionally salty attitude. It was a little late for him to come join you and if he was here to remind you how pointless this was well... You’d just shut him up!

The hand on your waist began to tighten it’s grip, reminding you of it’s placement whilst making your breath catch in your throat. It seemed a little forward for someone like the science geek, someone who didn’t seem to show much interest in anyone unless their name was ‘science.’

“H- Hey! What are you trying to do here?!” You could only pray that it wasn’t obvious you were taken back by Senku’s movements, though you doubted it seeing as Senku was not only the smartest man in the village, but maybe even the whole world. Before and after the petrifying incident.

Senku raised a brow as though he wasn’t sure what you meant however, talking as though the meaning behind his actions was obvious. “Can’t you tell? I’m putting the star on the tree.”

‘Huh, star?’ You echoed in your head, now looking as unsure as your science fanatic friend. You hadn’t made a star, and there was no replacement for one either lying around so what was he going on about?

Then, something in your brain pieced everything together. His hand, your waist...

“Senku! That’s so- wow. I didn’t expect something like that from you.” Were you blushing? You think you were. Oh god, oh god. This was so sudden. You hadn’t expected something so sweet from him at all honestly, not that it wasn’t appreciated. Did he see you like that then? As in, more than a friend? This was really making your head spin.

Your silence and awkward expression only made Senku more confused, which he hated to admit to himself. Stepping to the side, his hand moved away from your waist and his whole body was revealed to you, including his other hand that held a glass star in his hand, a small snowflake design engraved into it.

This made your mistake dawn upon you. ‘Oh! He meant a literal star this whole time. Haha, whoops.’

“Ah, sorry! I thought you had meant something else! I’m so sorry, I don’t know what was going on in my head!” You blurted out, frantically waving your hands around until Senku placed a hand onto your shoulder so your whole body would hit pause.

“Don’t worry about it. I admittedly don’t really know what you thought I meant but I’m sure we can forget about it,” Senku assured, a small smile tugging on his lips. You really did have to appreciate his kindness, it was so unfair for you not to.

The moody attitude you had previously faded away and you completely forgot about the reason behind it too. “Anyways, I’m sure you’ll be happy to know that old man Kaseki and I used the power of science to make a star for your Christmas tree! We didn’t have the time to make paint so hopefully this is enough, it fits your glass decoration theme you got going at least.”

The blond held up the star into the sky like he was a video game character who had obtained a special item, a prideful grin stretching across his face as your eyes widened at the sight of it. The fact he had gone out of his busy way to make you one was so sweet, especially when he was so against spending any time on Christmas. Tears were close to spilling from your eyes and you leapt forwards to pull Senku into a tight hug, crying out a thousand ‘thank you’s.

“Thank you so much, Senku! I really thought you were going to leave me all alone to spend Christmas this year or at least distance yourself from the group when I invited them! I’m so sorry I doubted you!” Your tight hug almost made Senku wheeze, a small rub on your back showing his return of a hug.

The moment you let go, he returned to his nonchalant mannerisms and scratched his cheek while he spoke, acting as though he hadn’t almost been killed by a suffocating hug, “hehe, it’s really no big deal. We all worked hard this year so I thought a break would be perfect for them all, and I’m sure teaching them about Christmas would be pretty exciting.”

You nodded in agreement to that and jumped up, bouncing up with maxed out energy. “Yeah, you’re right! We can sing songs, roast marshmallows, give gifts, sit by the tree,” your own words then reminded you the whole reason as to why Senku had appeared, cursing yourself for forgetting. “The star, we haven’t put it up yet!”

“Oh right,” Senku mused, handing the decoration over which you took by placing your hand over his, meaning that he couldn’t move his hand away. He was about to question your actions when you used your free hand to pull him closer, surprising him momentarily while you began to lead both of your hands to the top of the tree. “If the star goes up, we should both do it,” you explained, wanting to show that you were not only grateful for the star but also your friendship entirely. After all, without Senku you wouldn’t have woken up from petrification and you wouldn’t have had all the fun with your new friends either.

“Sounds fine to me,” he agreed, the two of you content with fingers interlocking as you both reached up to finish off the minimalistic yet treasured tree.

[kate2kat]

5 fics

I was tagged by @earlgreytea68 (waves from way over here)

Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 5(ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

When I first read this, I thought, oh well, I haven’t written 5 things this year, because I have been very consumed with 2 long fics, but then I checked, and it turns out I have posted 7 things this year.

1. I think my favourite -- for just how fizzy it made me feel, and because it was this gorgeous chain reaction sparked by a comment by @amysnotdeadyet  on a tumblr post and resulting in the gift of some lovely art -- is Red in which Eames gives Arthur a fabulous Alexander McQueen suit to wear to their wedding.

He had known from the moment he saw the name on the box, that it would be spectacular. But he hadn’t known exactly how.

He has some astonishing suits from Alexander McQueen, but this one is beyond his imagining.

Suitp*rn (TM) is my absolute favourite thing to write for Arthur and Eames, and I think clothes can tell a lot about a person, not just the one wearing them, and a lot about a relationship.

2. I posted two longish instalments in my Good Omens series: Now we both together I think has some lovely moments during the time when Crowley and Aziraphale have to try to imagine what their lives can be like now that they are out of their old jobs, and also have to rethink (Crowley especially) their understanding of their places in the grand scheme of things. 

And of course, the taking off of many layers of clothes features too (it’s a pretty bulletproof thing of mine):

Crowley pushes Aziraphale — gently, firmly, relentlessly — back into the mound of them and leans down over him and kisses him intently. And then he straightens up and undoes Aziraphale’s many buttons: his waistcoat and his shirt and his old-fashioned trouser flies. “So many buttons,” he grumbles, but Aziraphale just smiles, he knows Crowley likes the fact that the many buttons draw this part out and out and out, filling them both with delicious shivery anticipation.

3. Inception’s many challenges are a great way to write things you might not of thought of yourself, and for Eames Stupid Cupid I was lucky enough to get a prompt from @oceaxe-ifdawn, giver of the very best prompts, that really make me think. This one was no exception: “distemper” -- an illness and an old-fashioned kind of paint. I imagined Eames (in particular) growing sick of dreamshare and wanting A new life, which I pictured in the sort of sleepy French village that I have dreamed of living in. I am not nearly good enough at investing to afford such a thing, but Arthur is.

“What are we doing, Eames?” says Arthur as he drives back down the track, concentrating on the ruts.

“Thinking of buying a farm?”

Arthur laughs. “Well, we are retired.”

“You’d consider it? It’s not just the sort of holiday dream you allow yourself after a bit too much wine?”

“Not bad wine, either,” says Arthur.

Eames looks over at him and Arthur takes his eyes off the track long enough to meet his smile.

4. I wrote a little thing on New Year’s day, partly because few years ago I spent Christmas day writing a really good Christmas for Bob, who hadn’t until then had many really good Christmases. Rainy day isn’t a seasonal fic at all, just a bit of quiet reflection on how things change and get better.

Much later, after they’ve been and done the shopping and they’re on the sofa watching football, Bob lying with his head in Dave’s lap, not really watching, he was never that interested in football, really, he says: “When I woke up early this morning, the rain was hitting the window and it reminded me of the first time I stayed here. I was so bloody scared, when you asked me to stay, did you know how scared I was?”

Dave says, his hands on Bob, in his hair, on his shoulder, keeping his eyes on the screen like Bob is: “I think I guessed a bit.”

“I’m glad you made me stay, imagine if you hadn’t?”

“We’d still have worked it out, I think.”

“Yeah, probably. But I’m glad I took the second chance then.” He turns his face up to look at Dave, and Dave’s looking down at him. “We know each other so well now, I know what you like, and you know me. I love that. I love it.”

5. Which brings me to the fic that has consumed me for the last six months to the exclusion of everything else. I have never posted a WIP and god, the stress! I don’t think I’ll do it again in a hurry.

Nocturnal Creatures sprung out of the mood that Bastille’s album Doom Days gave me, listening to it in the car driving home form the office (when we still went to offices) late at night. It’s got nothing to do with the story that the album is telling, but the idea of Eames as a vampire who hates being one, meeting Arthur, who is in dreamshare, and daring to hope he could escape his dark existence took hold and wouldn’t let go. So when the Big Bang came around I proposed it. But I hadn’t actually outlined much of it at the time, and it grew a mind of its own and the posting date came and the story was (I thought) not finished but maybe nearly done? Haha, I’m still writing it. I promise it really is nearly finished, anyone who is still interested (but I have said that several times before, I admit). Anyway, here’s a bit from the last chapter I’ve written, which is not posted yet, but will be soon. I’ll put it under a cut.

Arthur sits up, placing a hand on Eames’ chest, keeping him on his back. A frown flits across his face, as if he is debating something with himself. Eames relaxes his hands at his sides, palms up, quiescent, and Arthur smiles, bending down and kissing him. “I’m in your hands,” Eames says. 

Arthur nods, and positions Eames’ arms above his head, spanning both wrists with one strong hand as he leans in again, biting softly at Eames’ mouth, and then harder, pushing in as his other hand moves down, pressing at his throat just hard enough to make Eames swallow, feeling the resistance. And then Arthur’s hand has moved on, down his chest, brushing across his nipples, tweaking one, and when Eames arches into the touch, pinching the other harder. He chases Arthur’s mouth when he ends the kiss, sitting up.

He leans over to the nightstand and Eames lifts his head, trying to see if he is retrieving the lubricant, but in Arthur’s hand is his dark red tie, the tie he gave to Eames. 

“May I?” he asks.

So there we have it, for anyone who is still reading. A year of writing in a very weird time. The pandemic doesn’t feature at all. 

I will tag @amysnotdeadyet, and @oceaxe-ifdawn (I don’t know if you have written anything this year but you have made some fabulous videos), and @my-citrus-pocket

[fic-pickyourpoison]

Love Lami shes just fascinating ! I'm honestly super curious about Lamis past! Is it going to come into play ? Like a skill or a piece of knowledge from her past life helping her in this new universe ? I wont ask you to spoil us but if you can share tidbits of her background *grabby fingers* Like I dunno maybe past skills , interests, career , goals. Anything. Like, Can she cook? obsessed w/ reincarnation stories now haha , I highly reccomend watching "ascendance of a bookworm" if bored

Hmmm— I doubt that her past will be a big part of the story. This is not so much a story decision as it is a character decision. Lami doesn’t remember much of her past at this point, and honestly she just really doesn’t like thinking about it? She’s definitely focusing more on the present and future, and the more she thinks about her past life the more confused she becomes about who she currently is as a person. It’s easier for her to just... tuck that all in the back of her mind until it’s of “use” to her.

She’s not Lami or her past self anymore, so she does her best to compartmentalize this.

But these are some interesting questions, so I’m definitely willing to share!

There are some indications in the story already about her past self, mostly in the first couple of chapters. There will definitely be skills/knowledge that will come into play when Lami is a lot older-- like, for example, the prospect of solar powered energy. It’s not a big thing, haha. Lami’s morality will probably be the largest impact her past life imparts on her— just the duality of her experience as Lami versus the person she was before her death and how it awkwardly mixes together into a very personalized and imbalanced acceptance of what she is allowed to do versus what others are allowed to do, etc.

Lami can cook! Maybe not very well, but she can manage on her own. It’ll definitely be a hot second before this comes into play, though I don’t think it’ll look so odd since the One Piece world has similar foods as we do. She also liked to camp and was pretty involved with outdoor activities; hiking, canoeing/kayaking, mountain climbing, etc. She was actually a competitive paddler for most of her teens and early twenties; mostly for C2, C4, and war canoe events. She went to nationals at least 3 times! 

In her past life, Lami attended university and took a few years longer in her bachelor’s than the norm, mostly because she ended up switching degrees at least 3 times before settling on statistics and sustainability— which is definitely a weird mix but she had aspirations and goals which fell into line with both of these subjects. She had just finished her master’s degree before her death. Lami, in PYP, likes to bring up various agricultural systems as well as contemplating how sustainable it is, which is a small callback to her past. Sustainable development was something that she was really passionate about before her death.

Lami remembers her death. She doesn’t like thinking about it. Something changed in her.

Frankly, Lami had similar interests as she does now but it was with a different motivation. She liked to read for fun and she liked to keep up with the news (as well as analyzing it, debunking whenever she could). She was pretty involved with social issues and politics, tbh! Now she is involved with these with the hopes that learning, reading, etc will somehow help in her survival... which certainly takes the fun out of her old hobbies. Lami doesn’t have much fun nowadays.

Hmm.. what other tidbit’s are worth mentioning... She grew up rurally, not in the USA. She was partially deaf in one ear. She struggled a lot with mental illness from experiences she had in her childhood. She had a big family and was in a relationship when she died.

Like I said, there might be some vague mentions about her past in the story, but I doubt that it’ll be anything substantial, you know? It’s mostly just a backdrop or motivation for certain interests and such. Lami is very different than who she was in her past life. You can blame death, disease, or the genocide for that, but she was already broken when she came into the One Piece world and has spent the past few years picking herself up... to, uh, debatable results. 

To be honest, Lami struggles a lot with the knowledge that she is different than her past self. She kind of feels like a stranger sometimes. She knows that she needs to be the callous, lacking in empathy, selfish person she is shaping into if she wants to make it to her teens, but there’s a part of her that still wants to be... soft, I guess? Human?

Anyway, thank you for the ask!! I hope this satisfies your itch! I doubt I would have gone into all of this in the story, at least not anytime soon, so I hope y’all have fun with the knowledge! Maybe you’ll be able to pick out some segments of the story and read through the lines ^^

[dreadnought-dear-captain]

You Asked, I Told

Spoilers up to Chapter 37 of Baghdad Waltz

Hi everyone,

I’m so very sorry for being so late with getting Chapter 38 out. Writing that Spent Brass put a delay in everything, though it was really crucial to get it posted before this next chapter.

This has been a really tough chapter to get right for me. I’ve gone back to the drawing board more than once for a couple scenes. I’m not sure when it will be out, but I’m working on it daily and making some good progress. Thank you for sending me your words of encouragement and letting me know you’re thinking of me! I’m thinking of you too and know you’re really looking forward to more. It will be a doozy, in terms of content, so I hope it’s worth the wait.

In horrifying news, BW is turning THREE YEARS OLD on March 13th. Kill me. (But not before I finish this fucking thing.)

In the meantime, here are some answers to some Asks-------

Thank you so much for the very kind words. I’m so pleased that this story checks off so many of your boxes, and I’m relieved to know that the structure and methods I’ve chosen for storytelling have lent to a balanced narrative where you can appreciate both of these characters. I figure people don’t have to like each character equally, or at all. I just really want their choices make sense, for each character to have a distinct psychology, to have each action and reaction be believable, even if it is infuriating or illogical (it can still fall within the character’s internal logic, based on their own worldview). And I am so honored that this fic can serve as some inspiration for your own. God knows I have mine I go to on the reg when my stuff sucks and I can’t string two words together to save my life.

This is a deceptively silly question, I think (because I can’t keep anything simple). Working out together would be a nice little nostalgic throwback, wouldn’t it? I sometimes pop back to earlier chapters when they were in Baghdad and think about those times with a wistful smile. I think about the way they related, the way they looked, the relative lack of complications in their lives, and it’s such a profound departure from the way things are now.

Steve obviously has kept up his gym going with Matt. We’ve also seen that working out for him is about more than just being swole and hawt; it’s about control and regulating his emotions. And for Bucky, working out used to be a way of maintaining peak fitness for his career, which was one of the ways that he evaluated his self-esteem. If he was fit, he had value. Also, if he was fit, he was sexy, and we know that sexual capability is also one of the primary currencies he uses to determine his self-worth. He also used the construction of his physique as a way to develop his masculinity, the correct form of [gay] masculinity, rather than being a twink or a sissy. This was always a struggle against Bucky’s natural slim body composition, which has become his default again now that he’s been out of the military.

Now Bucky faces a couple of hurdles to exercise, whether he would do it for health or for building his physique. He has the challenges brought about by his many injuries - compromised grip in his left hand due to his massive forearm injuries and inconsistent rehabilitation efforts, ongoing pain in his right foot and a continued limp from that, significant back and hip pain due to very heavy load bearing and overcompensation from his foot injury. This would make it challenging for him to engage in any intense fitness program. What he really needs is to go back to physical therapy, and probably occupational therapy as well, but last time didn’t go so hot last time.

Even if he didn’t have to contend with his injuries, Bucky is at a bit of a crossroads in terms of how much energy he wants to put into rebuilding and maintaining his ideal physical self, which seems to be based on some prototype he picked up long ago (more on that in a future chapter). No chest hair, no body fat, muscles, a perfectly shaved asshole at all times… But he’s not 21 anymore. He has a boyfriend now. And even though he’d probably love to go to the gym to shoulder in on Steve’s time with Matt, I wonder if he would want to go for himself anymore. I wonder if going with Steve would be intimidating or make him feel pressured to fall back into his old patterns. Because now at least he has the excuse that he can’t lift heavy, that he can’t run, so he might as well not even try. But if he could, it would be interesting to see where his path would go as a 31-year-old man.

See? You thought it would be a simple “Yeah, there’re totes gonna go to the gym together, chapter 41, stay tuned!” or “No, probs not, I don’t think he’s much of a gym goer anymore.” Alas. I give no simple answers. This is why you have to wait 5 months for a BW chapter.

This is a good observation. Bucky loves himself a good drunk pizza. He also watches a lot of food-related TV when he drinks. Bucky has had to think a lot about food for various reasons. One is building muscle and physique when his body is telling him NO I WILL NOT. One is not eating so that he can get drunk faster. One is eating the right kind of diet so that he can have anal sex without having to worry about digestive issues (constipation, feeling too full, not being ‘ready,’ too much or too little shitting), which is a thing he would take seriously a hardcore bottom. I see things like pizza as a comfort food, family food, something Winnie would get for them every Friday night after they moved to New York. It’s a very emotional food for him, but he knows it’s “bad” for all of the aforementioned reasons, because it will make you fat and slow your buzz and stuff up your colon, so he might be most inclined to eat it when deep in a bender and doesn’t give a shit about those other things. Because Bucky not only drinks to forget and manage intense emotions, but he drinks also to just relax the relentless march of self-perpetuated, often absurd rules about what and who he is and what he can and should do. So yes, Bucky has some disordered eating, most of it functional, though a lot of his lack of eating recently is likely anxiety-related and/or stomach illness-related.

Another excellent observation. For those who might need a refresher, since this was in chapter 36:

The morning after Bucky shows up at Steve’s drunk and they have sex and many revelations are made about drinking during their relationship, Bucky gets honest about what happened the day before. He tells Steve:  “I had my interview. It— I really don’t know how it went. I was so out of it. I’ve been so fucked up these past couple weeks. Just— it’s been bad. Really bad.” He tells the story of what happened at Scott’s. Steve asks why Bucky didn’t tell him he was struggling, and Bucky says that he didn’t want to get into it. Steve shifts in to talking about whether they should get back together.

I think there are a couple things here I could say. Yes, Bucky saying that he’s struggling is an example of some unusually straight-forward honesty that’s also a personal risk for himself. That’s a real measure of progress! But while I think this honesty is something that’s pretty new, the fact that he’s in a bad place mentally is not new information to Steve. I think back to the chapter before, after Bucky’s PT appointment with Luke, where he was clearly very distraught and having an extremely difficult time. Steve couldn’t get him to say what was happening then, but it was clear that it was something very major.  So I don’t think this really felt to him like a major revelation, like Bucky’s really been holding it all together perfectly while imploding on the inside. I think this observation was more like, why didn’t you just TELL me you were struggling rather than having to have me wonder and then get wasted and come here drunk? Steve has a long history of asking Bucky if he’s okay and getting the brushoff. He’s probably starting to get tired of always asking and getting shot down.

Another part of your question is also very valid - is this the right time to get into a relationship??  Haha. Ha. Well, nobody said these two were good at making relationship decisions. But on a more serious note, Bucky having struggles is not only not new information for this month, it’s not new information for their relationship. Bucky has always had a secret life of pain that Steve has had to wonder about, ask about, beg to be let into, and he probably figures that one of the best ways he can affect change is if they’re in a romantic relationship. It will let him get close, give him some leverage, etc. So although it might come off as callous, Bucky’s struggles are the rule rather than the exception, and Steve probably figures he needs to get this relationship locked down so that he can get them into therapy and much-needed help.

Of course, there’s plenty of dramatic irony here, right? Steve doesn’t know what we know, which is that what Bucky is struggling with here is the REALLY BIG STUFF. He probably just thinks it’s his usual stuff. So. We’ll see where that goes. Bucky is going to maintain this illusion for as long as he possibly can.

Yes, @pitchforkcentral86​ and I had several conversations about whether Bucky should have an animal. It’s a common trope in fic, and a joyful one to read. (Omg, I didn’t know about Alpine until now and I am thrilled!) And yes, service dogs, emotional support animals, therapy animals, pets, they can all be very healing, can provide meaning and purpose, and can also help to structure the lives of people who feel destabilized in various ways.

However, I have held back on giving Bucky an animal because a) his aforementioned history with animals, and b) I’m not sure if that’s what he needs at this point in his journey. I do really think Bucky has some sort of healing that needs to take place around animals. He loves animals. He loves nature and is a true soft boy (TM) who has been deeply hurt by his experiences. It was very inconsistent with his values to do the things he did, see the things he saw, and it’s so painful that he doesn’t know how to reconcile it.

But he’s in such a precarious place now emotionally, with such low resources, and he can barely even share the smallest pieces himself with other humans. People are a lot more complicated, yes, but animals are a lot of responsibility. He would be so hard on himself if he didn’t do a good job, if he didn’t react well to his animal companion, etc. And I think it would probably be more bang for his buck to devote that energy to trying to increasing his emotional intimacy with his partner or his sponsor or other important humans in his life who are asking for his trust. He could GO BACK TO THERAPY EVEN.  

I do think something that would potentially be helpful and pretty low resource cost is to have a therapy animal in his life, like something he could go periodically, a therapy dog at the VA or something he could visit and pet once in a while. It would be a good start.

But that’s just my thinking for this character specifically. I think service/emotional support/therapy animals are wonderful and can create incredible bridges for people to improving their quality of life.

Well, that’s all for now! I will continue plugging away at BW and will get it to you as soon as I can. Thank you, as ever, for your patience! And thank you for the wonderful Asks <3 <3 <3

[maddox026]

"Good day. My name is Michael and I'll be your attendant today. Here is our menu and I'll be back after five minutes to get your order ma'am. We'll be serving your water in a while."

"Got it. Thank you Michael."

"You're welcome ma'am and thank you too."

Your eyes started scanning the menu card handed over to you by the waiter. This is the new Italian restaurant the two women at the washroom were talking about a while ago. Not really intending to eavesdrop, you overheard their conversation when you dropped by for a bladder break before the movie started. Both seemed to be on their early 30's reminding you of your own set of girl friends. The taller one of the two was telling the other one about her experience on the restaurant in that building which just opened two weeks ago.

"Imagine how shocked I was after seeing them there. I haven't had my usual coffee dose yet but my heart was palpitating already. Good thing I was done eating by the time they arrived or else I wouldn't have probably finished my meal. Awkward." 

"How was it? Did you guys had a little chitchat or did you just nod at each other? Did his partner smiled at you???" The shorter woman asked curiously while lathering her hands with the cucumber scented soap.

"I think he saw my eyes widen but I manage to do a quick smile both to him and to his, girlfriend or wife maybe before I went out. Sis, don't get me wrong. I've moved on and all but I think there will always be that slight feeling of awkwardness whenever you ran to your long time ex-boyfriend." As if wanting to put extra emphasis on her last statement, the woman responded while rolling her eyeballs.

“Ex-fiancee, sis. Hahaha! How was the food? I hope it was worth the run-in encounter with your past flame somehow.”

“Well in fairness the food was great. I read a review about it on Metro Story’s Foodtrip column and my expectations were met. You should visit it with Andrew one of these days.”

“I see. I’ll tell him about it. Sis, I just realized. Your ex-pectations were met indeed.Hahaha!”

“Sira.Let’s go.” The two women eventually left the washroom. You checked your seat number in the movie stub for the last time and headed out as well.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Exactly after five minutes, the waiter got back to your table to take your order. As he walks away you close your eyes and tried to absorb the classical music being played on the background. You tried to remember the grocery list you mentally did last night. Funny how just a while ago, you were watching the full movie version of a 90′s cartoon series you loved as a kid. Now here you are, back being an adult thinking about the household items you need to buy and whether you’ll be doing your laundry tonight or delay it tomorrow.

“So what are the chances?”

Startled at the voice which was coming from your back, you turned around and saw an old face with a goofy smile. What is it with this place making people cross paths with their past? Is this included in their specialty or something? Muling Ibalik with a side of Multo ng Nakaraan pasta?

“Oi.Hi!” Although still a little off guard, you were able to somehow respond with a small smile.

“I knew it was you the moment I saw your hair and your back. Kumusta?“

You wanted to say you were doing just okay right before he came in but you knew it would be best not to. Knowing him, that would make his goofy smile wider. “I’m good. Ikaw? What’s up?”

His lips moved as he answers your question but you can’t catch on to what he’s saying. You told yourself you’re going to bring up to your close friend who majored in Social Science how and who started the social norm to automatically ask the other person how they are doing as well after being asked “Kumusta?”

“...also, I’m not sure but did you watch Dragon Gang before coming here? I think you were seated a few rows in front of me.”

“Really? Yeah I was at Cinema 3 a while ago.” Okay. Maybe you should have just lied to cut this conversation already.

“Small world.Hahaha!”

Small world. Two words usually said to show surprise when an unexpected encounter or connection between people happens. Yet, the very same people who tells you this can also make the world seem vast, big and empty when their presence is no longer felt.

“Hi sir and ma’am. Sorry for the interruption but I would just like to check if you will be sharing this table together? If not, I’ll be happy to assist you to a vacant table sir.” Michael politely asked, perhaps noticing how the newly arrived guest was not yet seated somewhere.

“Oh wait. I’ll ask her first if we can share this spot. Maya, okay lang?”

If you say no, will the people nearby including the kind waiter judge you? Will they give you the wrong impression if you decline?

“Yeah sure. No big deal.” You swallowed the lump in your throat which started forming the moment you saw this guy who’s clad in denim jacket. Making a mental note, you remind yourself to control your voice and expression now that your conversation is obviously nowhere its ending yet.

“So did you liked the movie?” He asked while showing you the yellow movie stub he have as well.

Three years ago and you would have immediately given a lengthy reply to his question.  You would have talked about all the highs and lows of the film perhaps even enough to impress Mrs. Tagle, your favorite English teacher back in college.

College, where you two first met as classmates in one of your minor subjects. You went out together one time but things didn’t took a romantic turn after that as there were other incidents that occurred. 

Three years after your graduation, your paths met again unexpectedly while you were looking for this popular bookshop. The two of you went out for two or three dates but just liked before, things fizzled out afterwards. Back then the term, “ghosting” wasn’t as known as it is now but it’s kind of how it ended. Or how he, ended. It’s okay though as you both moved on afterwards.

The years after that, you stayed connected through social media although mostly just sending each other simple birthday greetings whenever one is celebrating.

Three years ago though, your simple greeting turned into more casual chats and there were times when you would talk about deep issues about life. Bucket lists, goals and aspirations, lessons on past relationships etc., these were some of the topics you used to talk about. Random conversations you started looking forward to especially during weekends and eventually became the source of your heart ache when they no longer started happening. A phase worthy enough to earn you a live performance of this new hip band who’s debut song is entitled, “You foolish girl.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Yeah. I liked the movie. It was not disappointing.”

“Haha! I have to agree. It wasn’t disappointing indeed. Although there were just some scenes which I think were confusing for some fans who haven’t read the entire manga series.”

You stared at him just politely smiling, not really in the mood to be your usual chatty self. Slowly, people at the restaurant started coming in and you wished Michael would be back already with both of your food.

“They did not show in the movie what happened to Brutly’s parents and also how all of a sudden Gozu became well after that serious illness he had. Those were just my two cents though.Hahaha! They did however still managed to bring justice to Teriyene’s masterpiece.”

“Batang 90′s. Hehehe...” That was all the response you were able to think of at that moment. You weren’t really nervous being there with him and all but there’s a cloud of hesitation in your head and you wonder if he can feel it.

“Yeah...By the way, I’m sorry if you felt obliged to accept my table request in front of the waiter earlier. I guess I was just really happy seeing an old acquaintance after a long time.”

“What? It’s okay. Long time indeed.”

That’s it? That’s all this guy is saying sorry for, you asked yourself. What about those times in the past when -

“Here’s your food sir and ma’am.” Michael proceeded to enumerate the order he took a while ago and asked if there is anything else he can assist you with. You both shake your head as you said no and he left you two alone again afterwards.

“By the way, I’m not sure if you’ve noticed but I think most of the moviegoers were around their 30′s to 40′s.” 

“Really? I didn’t notice it. Based from the occasional cheer the audience were giving though, I think it’s safe to assume there were a lot of dads or titos who were watching.” Maybe you can make the conversation going but just avoid eye contact as much as possible?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“You know your eyes are very pretty. The color suits your complexion and your hair as well.” 

The 1st semester is about to end and he sent a text message after your class inviting you for a movie and dinner to unwind. Funny because for some reason your ex boyfriend and another male friend sent an invitation to hang out too that same day.

Maybe because you’ve been sharing a room together for more than three years already, your roommate Kris was able to read your bubble thoughts. 

“Maya? Go. Accept it.”

“Huh?”

“Go out with him. Not your ex and si other kuya. Your crushmate, I mean your “classmate”. I’ll wait for your post-date kwento.”

“But...I’m not really sure if...”

 “Why are you hesitating? Come on. Don’t you like him??”

“Hey! I admit he’s cute but - . Wait, why weren’t you this eager when I told you about the other two invites?”

“You know why? Because your facial reaction yesterday when you were telling me about it was your normal facial expression. But today, when you were reading his text message, your cheeks turned pink like this shirt I’m wearing.”

She’s right. You felt a thump in your heart after reading the text message. You’re hesitating though as you can’t get rid of the player vibes you’re sensing. The way he walks, the way he talks, his overall confident attitude gives off a feeling that he’s used to talking to or wooing girls that comes near him.

“They’re light brown, right?” Perhaps it’s because you were facing each 

[comicteaparty]

June 13th-June 19th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from June 13th, 2020 to June 19th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

What is your physical and digital workspace like when you’re working on your story?

🌈ERROR404 🌈

LOL it really depends on what stage I'm in of the process - My storyboarding space is at home, as comfortable as I can be, a beer and some food at the ready and pure silence. The cats have to be freshly fed, otherwise I'll be harassed and lose my headspace entirely LOL. I usually work on my story boards digitally, just at a very small scale, with my script/outline on my computer and working on my ipad! The double screen helps a LOT, although i would just print out the script if I had access to a printer, haha. When I'm working on the actual page itself, it's a very different story. I usually just try and work on it in tiny little batches during the day when I'm stuck at home, and usually work around the animals as best i can, lmao. Truthfully, I really prefer to be in a coffee shop when I'm working on finishing pages, it makes me so much more productive than i am in this house with so many things to take care of right in front of me, but, obviously, that's a bit difficult to do these days. ;; I usually reserve food and drink until after I pass a milestone in inking/sketching to help motivate me to keep going for as much as I can before taking a break, and I need some kind of music or video playing in the background to keep myself from being absolutely bored out of my mind. My shading process, since it's in black and white, is very easy and i can finish it in one setting, easy, no matter what I'm working with. I also work digitally for my pages, of course, although I don't need more than my ipad and clip studio for it!

DaeofthePast

freshly fed cats

🌈ERROR404 🌈

They are BEASTS when hungry, the little bastards (love them)

I may only work in peace when they're post-food napping lmao

DaeofthePast

we only have one, but same

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I work almost entirely in the corner of my IKEA couch at home I used to work at a proper desk with a Cintiq, but when I switched to Procreate on an iPad, I migrated to the couch and surrounded myself with a nest of clothes and blankets and books and... here I am, bein' cozy. With terrible posture But when I was between jobs last year, I did rent a little coworking space down the street so I could get out of my pajamas and go get comic stuff done there. It was a godsend. I like drawing at my favorite coffee shop every so often too, but I tend to hide my work while I draw, and there, everyone can look over my shoulder The coworking space had a tall artist desk that was rarely used, so I often grabbed that one. Not cheap, but to stave off cabin fever, heck yes, worth it.

🌈ERROR404 🌈

Ahhh I've been really thinking about getting a studio space one of these days I really shouldn't rn, with my finances as they are, but I could REALLY make use of one recently

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I loved the space I used last year. They recently had to close for... current-event reasons... and are going to reopen with all sorts of plexiglass barriers between the desks I feel so bad for them. Good studio spaces are wonderful, I would support them again if I ever was out of a job!

🌈ERROR404 🌈

it's good they've found ways to make it safer, though!

carcarchu

My old workspace was in the basement of my home in canada and it was always perpetually freezing even in the summer and i was frequently visited by spiders so my current workspace is a huge improvement in that regard. I do miss my old ergonomic desk chair though. I'm definitely not the kind of person who can draw in bed or on the couch. I need to be in workmode and having a designated space just for that is necessary for me to get in the right headspace for that.

DaeofthePast

my workspace rn is just my desk with my laptop and my drawing tablet. my laptop is stacked on top of a pile of books so i can see the screen (otherwise my tablet blocks my line of sight). it's kinda simple

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Depends. I have a Cintiq Mobile Studio, so I can draw pretty much every where and sometimes in the oddest position, but most of the time I am on my desk with the cintiq hooked up to a second monitor so I don't have to look down so much.(edited)

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

For Wayfinders: Thumbnails are somewhere cozy and the only physical work. Me and Q sit and plan them out together. The rest of wayfinders are made on Photoshop, and flat colors in clip paint studio. In the world I would love a nice studio place in an office with others. During corentine I have been working from home, and I am not that good at it, being quite the extrovert. Before corentine I was in a artist residency where I worked on Wayfinders which had a workstation and all the programs we could need. It is so nice and me and Q are going to return there when it opens up again!

Miranda

I have an iPad so usually on the couch, cozied up with coffee and pillows and blankets. But sometimes at the table. But usually on the couch like the gremlin I am

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I have a large drafting table, a mini drafting table, and a lapdesk in my papasan when we ink/draw! Toning and letters are all done on the desktop in its own space

Miranda

I need to get a good lap desk. But that sounds like a grand setup!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

My first time hearing about a lapdesk

Omg I need one

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

They are the best things ever Mine has just the pencil holder !(some come with cup holders and its a waste of space imo)

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Wow I like your setup of the drafting tables

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I wanna show pics of them....if im allowed in this chat?

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

I hope so, I'm not sure which channel we can post studio photos at? I did see some did before?

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

Ill post in shop talk since creator babble gets archived

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

my current space is uh.... a bit better than my last one. I used to work on an old writers desk for a decade and I did most of my comic work sitting there cramped up with my desktop taking most of the space. Now I have an L shaped desk where I have my desktop on the shorter end. The longer end it's my pen, pencils, and watercolor stuff. my display tablet occupy the space at times so switching from digital and traditional without worrying about setup hassle is a lot better than what I dealt with before lol.

I'm glad the days I had to curl up and draw with no privacy are long gone now

kayotics

I’ve got a little drafting table where I draw all my comic pages. I’m messy with my pens so they’re kind of strewn about until I start to lose them. Then I put them back. I’m not particularly neat. I spend most of the comic process off the computer, so most of my digital work is just on an iPad where I can sit anywhere. I try to keep good lighting around my drafting table and there’s always loose eraser shavings all over.

Natasha Berlin (Pot of Gold)

I got myself a lil corner desk by the dining table. Not as well-lit as I'd like, but it's decently ergonomic and I started putting posters on my wall Plus I can leave work mindset easily by turning off my computer and forgetting about the dark corner in the dining room XD(edited)

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My desk is really sloppy and covered in all kinds of junk. I have a harmonica, a ball of yarn, a bunch of ink bottles, etc on my desk. I have my sketchbook under my tablet and usually a notebook somewhere for writing. My tablet sits to the right of my laptop (on top of sketchbook) while I'm not using it and when I'm using it it goes over my computer keyboard. I sometimes have a glass of water or some food sitting to the lefthand side

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

The only thing I wanna share about my workspace is this

once i spent over three hours looking for that damned pen

never again

🌈ERROR404 🌈

Ajkdhfkjs the models for hte magazine im crying

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh my God

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

mad giggling

Deo101 [Millennium]

youre gonna manage to lose the string

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

omg

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i know in my heart deo is right but still i hope

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

You should weld a metal chain to it

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Watch me lose the whole tablet

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh nooo

I believe in you!

TaliePlume

My workspace is a black table with a white, yellow, blue and green tablecloth with 3 black chairs. It's next to the kitchen. On it, is my laptop and the left side is my clipboard, 3 blue folders full of writing. Then above it, is 3 sketchbooks and another blue folder from a class that I took in community college.

June 16, 2020

sagaholmgaard

I have one long desk at almost three meters. On the left side is all my coffee and tea supplies, in the middle is my work space and on the right is my dining table xD I get everything done from there, despite having a mobilestudio so I COULD sit anywhere and work, lol. It's a blessing during holiday seasons to be able to bring it everywhere, but at some I like my designated working space. Although I am moving in a few weeks, so who knows what my new workspace will be

Moral_Gutpunch

My workspace is anywhere I can draw or write. It's more of a "Will I be interrupted over something petty or stupid" issue than space. Not that I don't want more space.

Mitzi (Trophallaxis)

My workspace is a big, broken corner desk I managed to lug out of an old apartment when it was gonna be trashed. Before then, I'd just draw in bed. I don't remember, but I'm pretty sure the folding chair I sit at is a similar affair. It's got a Dollar General throw pillow on it so I can at least say I'm trying to save my back. The top of the desk is a mess of mostly old bottles and cans, pencils, incense ash, and my old tarot deck. I love this setup dearly. This is the first time I've ever had my own desk space, much less a space I can decorate or leave as messy as I want. Got my own art up on the walls with sticky tack and all! Also the cat's scratching post is directly behind me, because we've learned the cat won't use it unless it's as in the way as possible. What can ya do, lol.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh cats...

Desnik

I got spoiled with an adjustable desk. It is six feet long, and has a whiteboard top for noodling with dry erase markers

my main computer is set up on an adjustable stand so it floats over the desk, and then I have my cintiq, which we tried to mount on a similar stand but then it was just too heavy

I keep my dice collection nearby because fidgeting helps think things through sometimes

and rolling to make odd decisions never hurts

lately during the quarantine I've been sharing the office with my spouse so we've had to establish rules over when it's okay to bug each other(edited)

oh yeah and we also have a whiteboard installed in the office, and it rules!(edited)

Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho

Mine is pretty simple: I have a laptop that's long stopped being portable and is now mostly just sitting at my desk at all times and a 19 inch Ugee as my display. I usually keep a lot of stuff on top of my desk, but it's mostly just a mess because I have been using it for work too for a while now

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I suppose I'll talk about my setup too :) My main setup is where I do digital art. I share an office with my SO, so we both have workspaces on opposite walls from each other. I work on a corner desk that holds my beefy computer, two monitors, and a Huion Kamvas GT-191. That's where I draw my comic and pretty much everything else done digitally. Ngl, it's a mess right now. I have comic notes and location floor plans in sketchbooks and DnD character sheets spread out all over the surface, and random pens and sticky notes. In the corner of the room, we have a nice large-format printer where I produce prints for conventions. I actually sketch my pages on an iPad pro in Procreate, so during the sketch phase, sometimes I'll just bundle up on my couch and do it, or before quarantine, sometimes I'd sketch on the go. My other workspace (which hasn't gotten much love as of late tbh) is a drafting table in the corner of our living room. I keep a tabletop easel on it and my Copic markers, as well as whatever I'm working on at the moment. (RN it's some ink washes.) The drawers hold all my ink, pencils, erasers, etc. Next to the drafting table is where I keep all my large charcoal, graphite, and oil pastel drawings (mostly school projects), and my large paintings. Other than that, I have a nifty little cart where I keep painting supplies :) I will say, this setup is by far an enormous improvement from my previous setups.

[musubiki]

Can we have more details about why Lime and Mochi hated each other for the first 5 years and what were they like to one another during that time period? ^u^

YEAH!!!!! (ill put it under the cut)

➞

- mochi and lime first met when they were like. 5-ish, on the day when mochi and her mama (tiramisu) were moving/finished moving into their shop across the street, and limes family brought them over some welcome-to-the-district gifts

- so of course tiramisu and limes grandparents are chatting it up, mochi is kind of hiding behind her mom and lime is standing there holding kiwis hand and theyre just kinda looking at each other

- and this first meeting is the most hilarious moment of their whole relationship, because lime, an idiot boy, sticks his tongue out and does a “bleh!” at mochi

- mochi, an equally stupid kid, starts crying ghibli tears, and deadass just FLIPS HIM OFF!!!!🖕🖕🖕🖕

- AND HER MOM PUSHES HER HAND DOWN LIKE “MOCHI THATS NOT NICE!! Oh my god im so sorry idont know where she learned that haha-” (mochi learned it from her. shes secretly proud of her baby), and limes grandfather just kind of “oh no no its fine, he was being mean to her”

- and so they say goodnight and go back to their shops, but from that point lime just kinda picked on mochi a lot. (im thinking he had a crush on her first but didnt understand feelings that young so he just picks on her a lot????/ and then just kinda buries and internalizes those feelings for the rest of his life so it gets brushed under the rug????) 

- so he would pull her hair, push her, call her names, steal her food, all this weird shit. but then he would also like sneakily like peer out of his window at night to see if she was there in her room (and slam the curtains closed when she looked over and pretended like he wasnt looking) and like spy on her when she was in the shop (and run away when kiwi asks what hes looking at)

- and of course, mochi, being the badass in training, wouldnt take his shit half the time, and im pretty sure she like punched him in the face once?? or body slammed him or something??? and her mom is like “MOCHI OH MY GOD NO!! THATS NOT GOOD!!! [internally] (i love you so much that’s my girl)”

- and then when school starts they have to go to school together with kiwi because mochis mom has to run the shop, the whole way there these two idiot kids are either fighting or lime is picking on mochi again (tiramisu tells mochi its because he likes her and shes like idont care!! hes mean!!!)(she will care later)

- and from when lime was about ??? 5-7 he was friends with oscar, but when they were 7 oscar moved away to the big city with his family, and so limes only ‘friend’ left was mochi

- im pretty sure lime has put a frog in her backpack before

- and has probably thrown mud on her

- and every christmas they never get each other anything because “why should i, idont care!!”

- SO THEN. WHEN SCHOOL COMES AROUND, THEY BOTH GET COMPETITIVE, AND FOR THE NEXT LIKE 4 YEARS ALL THEY DO IS ANNOY EACH OTHER ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL, COMPETE IN SPORTS, COMPETE OVER GRADES, LIMES THROWING PAPER WADS AT THE BACK OF HER HEAD (he sits behind her) THEM BOTH GETTING SENT TO DETENTION, MAKING THEM SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER LMFAO

- but also theyre kind of getting to know each other, and the fighting dies down into a more kind of rivalry with some making fun of each other, but push comes to shove most of their time is actually spent with each other, between running neighboring shops, sharing classes and sports, the commerce back and forth from school (especially since kiwi starts going to high school and they have to walk home alone together)

- (and this is also during the time when mochi is spending her weekends with her grandma training)

- and im thinking when theyre like….11-12 ish maybe?? (theyre still in the rivalry thing) theres this part in one of their normal school days where mochi is ACTUALLY being bullied by some older boys. like knock the books out of her hand and steal her money kind of bullying

- and lime sees this and he’s yeah, no. so he goes over and tells them to back the FUCK off, and of course they don't, and lime gets PISSED because IM THE ONLY ONE WHO’S ALLOWED TO BULLY HER ALRIGHT which actually leads to an actual fistfight, and this is also hilarious because lime is her hero for like 2 seconds before she mcfuckin  kicks one of the guys in the shin and/or balls and lime is all “???????!!!/!?!? you can fight???” and mochi, sweating, just kinda nervously looks away like “uuu.h.h.hhhhh….n……..no…” 

- so after the fight theyre just awkwardly sitting in the principals office, lime has a black eye, theyre both all stressed out hoping the school doesn’t call their parents, but the principal is cool about it and tells them “you were just defending yourselves, just go home and dont get in anymore trouble okay”

- and on the way home theyre both pretty quiet, mochi is kind of flustered because that was..pretty cool of him to stick up for me like that and lime is stressed out like fuck oh no oh god because hes SUPPOSED to NOT like her so why should i care??? if she gets bullied??? I don't!! but he does and it nags at him

- mochi keeps glancing over at him waiting at the bus stop, and he notices, (his face is red too) so hes like “what? why do you keep looking at me for??” and she hesitantly asks “hows your eye?” 

- lime, nervously, just kind of babbles out “pft- its fine. doesnt affect how handsome my face is so-” to which she kind of gives him a flat look, but laughs at it a bit anyway. he stares at her for a bit before laughing for a while too. she asks if it hurts, and he just kind goes “eh” and mentions it would feel a lot better if he had like an ice pack or something

- so mochi notices a small convince shop nearby, and tells him to wait there. she comes back with a little ice pack thing and like. a popsicle or something for him. he blushes and thanks her and they just kinda go back to sitting in silence at the bus stop, before mochi says a quiet “…thank you for- sticking up for me back there-” and gives him this sweet cute lil smile

- and he, an idiot, just like rubs the back of the neck, and has to physically stop himself from blurting out some “whatever” or “yeah it wont happen again” or some other shit like that, so after about 30 seconds of silence he just kind of mumbles out a “you're welcome”

- and from this point their relationship is a little different. like they both kinda go home and realize they were just jerks to each other for no real reason, especially lime who now thinks shes not so bad and he didn't even know how or why they got off on the wrong foot in the first place

- meanwhile mochi is at home struggling with feelings because “gosh that actually was really cool of him to stick up for me. he really actually is cool what the heck. oh no”

- and they start being less idiotic and mean to each other (besides the occasional joking) and actually spend more time together, and eventually they like bring each other food for lunch and talk to each other about their interests and stuff, and lime invites mochi to come todont watch his baseball games, and mochi supports him at all his sports events and stuff. 

- and they don't really realize or say it yet but they're best friends already. they're closest to each other and spend like almost all their time together

- (and im VERY sure theres gonna be some HORRIBLY embarrassing incident for lime that will have no details, but throughout the story it will be mentioned a few times by lime, something like “Mochi will NEVER think I’m cool!! She’s already seen me with that whole thing with the monk seal, and the shampoo bottle, there is no coming back from that!!” and everyone is just kinda “?????? what??” but it never gets unpacked. all we know is that is was REALLY embarrassing and uncool)

- but she does. she thinks hes cool. she thinks he is SO cool. she lays awake at night thinking about him

- and during this whole time mochi is getting to know the actual lime, and shes slowly developing a huge crush on him, which she first excuses as “noo its just a summer crush thing ill get over it” but she never does

- basically they were really idiot kids but i like the growing up dynamic

[rpgmgames]

September’s Featured Game: Ghost Hospital

DEVELOPER(S): Lev, Kip, Rose, Tredlocity, C, Bittersweet ENGINE: RPGMaker MV GENRE: Adventure, RPG WARNINGS: Anxiety, Body horror, Implied child harm SUMMARY: Ghost Hospital is a game about anxiety, depression, despair, mental rock bottoms, and, of course, ghosts. You play as Robin, a twelve-year-old girl who has an anxiety disorder and is very much alive in this hospital meant for beings that are not alive. Frankly, her anxiety was already bad enough before she landed in a hospital full of dead people, the still-shambling shells of ancient ghosts who try to take her down for a sweet taste of life, and the hospital directors hellbent on keeping her contained, and more importantly, away from the reason she's REALLY there. Thankfully, you have your new friends Jay and Sarcastic Ghost- Jay is a ghost about your age, and still a very new arrival to the hospital, and Sarcastic Ghost…well, he's an amorphous blob of a ghost, who talks a lot despite not having a mouth.

Download the demo here!

Our Interview With The Dev Team Below The Cut!

Introduce yourself! Lev: Hey, my name is Lev! I'm an artist and storyteller, and though I've wanted to make games for a long time, this is my first serious attempt! Most of my work is about my experiences in mental illness. Kip: I'm a freelance artist being allowed to write cheap jokes in ghost form. Rose: I'm a freelance writer and editor for the game! I also work on dialogue and story drafting. Tredlocity: My name is Tredlocity! I do some character designs and writing in the game! C: c / ghoul is a character designer, comic artist and Halloween enthusiast. They're currently apart of several indie game teams and are writing the webcomic, This Dark Forest of Ours. Bittersweet: I'm Kendall (AKA Bittersweet), and I'm the resident music person (one of two, technically, but the other left the project unfortunately.) This is my first (and thus far only) major soundtrack composition project, but thus far, it's been a satisfying one!

What is your project about? What inspired you to create your game initially? *Lev: Ghost Hospital is a game about anxiety, and the game was born out of an idea to put someone in the shoes of someone with clinical anxiety and depression without going for the prototypical 'horror game' or 'walking simulator', giving more game-friendly, practical narrative and gameplay examples of how it effects people.

How long have you been working on your project? *Lev: The game started development in late 2016 as a thesis project for college. At its inital completion, it was more of a beta or proof of concept than a demo- in its current state, it's far closer to what we have envisioned for the final project.

Did any other games or media influence aspects of your project? *Lev: Absolutely! The biggest influences are OFF, Yume Nikki, and Sweet Home, and a lot of Gameboy Color graphics and aesthetics- namely, Pokemon GSC and the GBC Zelda Games.

Have you come across any challenges during development? How have you overcome or worked around them? *Lev: RPG Maker is a versatile engine, but still fairly restrictive, so getting all the effects I wanted to work was challenging. Mental illness and real life have been taking a toll on development time, too. Getting things to work took teaching myself some javascript, and after being in serious development for this long, I've found ways to motivate myself to keep working. Having other people checking in on you helps, too.

Have any aspects of your project changed over time? How does your current project differ from your initial concept? *Lev: In its very first inital pitch, it was much closer to Yume Nikki, being more atmospheric and serious. At some point in character and world development, though, I couldn't bear to make it a stoic adventure, and with most of the stuff I already take inspiration from, it's hard for me to not put jokes into the media I make, anyway.

What was your team like at the beginning? How did people join the team? If you don’t have a team, do you wish you had one or do you prefer working alone? *Lev: At the beginning, it was just me working on everything. The first people I brought on board were my concept artist, Kip, my writer, Rose, and my musician, Bittersweet. I can't do music on my own, and I knew from word go that I wanted this to be the kind of game with a strong story and a lot of unique NPCs.

What is the best part of developing the game? *Lev: Call me biased, but the most fun part is making the art for it. It's hard for me to motivate myself to keep working if I'm just using default placeholder sprites, I have to make new NPCs to keep myself interested. It's not the most convenient, but it's fun to do, and it actually really does help with my workflow.

Do you find yourself playing other RPG Maker games to see what you can do with the engine, or do you prefer to do your own thing? *Lev: Oh, absolutely. RPG Maker games have a bad reputation for being very cut-and-paste, and there's a lot of those out there. But it just takes a bit of effort to make yourself and your game stand out, and it can be done absolutely beautifully! The latest one I've played was Hylics, completely surreal and wonderful.

Which character in your game do you relate to the most and why? (Alternatively: Who is your favorite character and why?) *Lev: Robin is a sort of proxy character for myself, so...I'm a bit biased on her. I love Jay a lot, too, he's kinda the friend I wish I had in elementary school when all this first showed up, haha. *Tredlocity: As someone who faces anxiety on a daily basis, I relate to Robin a lot. Though I would say my favorite character is Jay, since he can shoot plasma and has blue hair. *C: I'm partial to Coop [upcoming character], not just bc I designed them but bc I love big sister types. *Rose: I also relate to robin and jay! i try to control my anxiety while remaining positive and hopeful about situations. *Bittersweet: As an anxiety-riddled person, I relate immensely to Robin. However, my favorite character by far has to be Carna. (There's another character I'm particularly looking forward to when the full version of the game is released, though~)

Looking back now, is there anything that regret/wish you had done differently? *Lev: Honestly, there's a few things I wanted the game to be able to do at the start that I wasn't able to make happen. I spent a LOT of time trying to get it to work without having to go in and code it myself, and I wish I'd been able to take a step back, remind myself that this is my first serious project, and just stop worrying so much about what, in the end, would've been a minor detail, anyway.

Once you finish your project, do you plan to explore the game’s universe and characters further in subsequent projects, or leave it as-is? *Lev: Chances are I'm gonna leave it alone, but if I go back, I HAVE had a bit of a 'Ghost College' AU where they're exploring a haunted old library on their college campus instead of being trapped in a ghost hospital. It'd probably be cool as a point-and-click adventure, but it wouldn't exactly be a canon exploration of the postgame.

What do you look most forward to upon/after release? *Lev: I'm actually working on a few other projects, so being able to work on those more freely would be great, especially considering I'm really bad at keeping my own limits in mind, haha.

Is there something you’re afraid of concerning the development or the release of your game? *Lev: Mostly, I'm afraid that making a game about a subject like this, as a minority and with other people in my team that would be considered minorities, that releasing this game to the mainstream public would get me a lot of negative attention from people who think that people like us don't belong in the gaming sphere. It's pretty nerve-wracking, but after the positive reception of games like Undertale and SLARPG, it's getting easier to convince myself that I should be more afraid of people just generally not liking the game, haha.

Do you have any advice for upcoming devs? *Lev: Have someone to work with! DEFINITELY have someone to work with. Even if it's just a friend to bounce ideas off of or someone to ask if you've been working on the game, having someone else involved helps a lot. And specifically for RPG Maker- if you can, replace your default font with a different one. It's a minor detail, but it goes a long way towards making your game feel more original. *C: Always have a backlog of different projects. I have about four or five ideas constantly on rotation so I don't burn myself out on just one. *Tredlocity: My advice for any creatives is to start small, and just get it out. Feedback is a great motivator, and the only way to get better at something is to keep doing it! *Rose: I think some good advice is to write a few drafts of whatever it is you're working on in order to see which version you'd like to continue! let your work have different scenarios and situations based on various elements you insert or take out of a story, game, or other piece. *Bittersweet: Don't pressure yourself to a dead-set deadline. I know, you want to get this project out eventually, and if you're on a roll with development then all the power to you, but if you're struggling, don't let it burn you out. That's just unhealthy.

Question from last month's featured dev @toxicshroomswamp: How do you feel about your main character(s)? What piece of life advice would you give them? *Lev: I love my main characters, I love them like my own children. I would probably tell Robin that she'll learn to handle everything, it won't be so scary forever. I'd tell Jay that stopping for a minute and thinking is way more important than it seems. I'd tell Sarcastic ghost to shut up.

We mods would like to thank Lev, Kip, Rose, Tredlocity, C, and Bittersweet for agreeing to our interview! We believe that featuring the developer and their creative process is just as important as featuring the final product. Hopefully this Q&A segment has been an entertaining and insightful experience for everyone involved!

Remember to check out Ghost Hospital if you haven’t already! See you next month! 

- Mods Gold & Platinum

[myforeverforlife]

50 Random Things Tag!

The always lovely @crossandchange tagged me! (thank you!)

1. What takes up too much of your time?

Netflix. Since I’m on spring break, I’ve been relaxing by just going through episodes at a time. I’m limiting myself to four episodes maximum in a day. 😂

2. What makes your day better?

Getting extra sleep!

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

I managed to finish a good chunk of my homework, and I’m hoping I can finish the rest by the time I head back to school.

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

I don’t really know?? I used to say Hogwarts, but like definitely a post-Harry Potter world (as much as I love magic, I’m not looking to be killed by Voldemort) Now, I feel like any place that’s got magic and is generally peaceful is fine with me, haha

5. Are you good at giving advice?

Ehh, it depends for me too. I’m horrible at relationship advice, and I’m always like”Why are you asking me?? I’ve literally only been on a handful of dates”. I’m more of a shoulder to lean on and someone to empathize with rather than someone who gives out advice. I feel weird about it, like I’m being pushy and telling people what to do or something?

6. Do you have any mental illnesses?

No, I do get anxious about things but it’s not the extent of being a constant looming presence in my life (which I’m really thankful for)

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Nope! (also thankful for this lol)

8. What musician inspired you the most?

Kacey Musgraves! I really am not a country music kind of person, but she is such a talented lyricist and singer, and she has such a soothing voice! Her lyrics are also witty and fun to decipher.

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

Twice, but they were very innocent and naive. I liked someone from kindergarten all the way until 7th grade, and then someone else from 8th grade until 11th grade. Both times, I was like head over heels, but both times we were just friends and I never confessed.

10. What’s your dream date?

Honestly just doing anything that keeps us moving (going to the beach, party, carnival) I hate having to sit in one place for long and I’d be pretty antsy 😂

11. What do others notice about you?

That I’m tiny! And that I look young for my age.

12. What’s an annoying habit you have?

When I get nervous or bored, I pick at the skin on my thumbs. I know it’s so bad, but I’ve been doing this since I was a kid, and I’m glad it’s gotten A LOT better since then (i made the main character in the upcoming ksoo fic have this habit too haha)

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

No, we stopped talking in high school and grew apart. But we didn’t end our friendship on bad terms or anything, we just had really different friend groups and interests by then.

14. How many exes do you have?

Zero!

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

Oh god I have too many playlists. I have one I listen to before I go to bed and it has like 200 songs.

16. What instruments can you play?

A tiny tiny tiny bit of piano.

17. Who do you have the most pictures of?

School pictures. Like pictures of stuff we made in my class because we have to make a portfolio of everything we did at the end of the semester 😂

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Also Japan! Or South Korea.

19. What’s your zodiac?

Aries!

20. Do you relate to it?

Aries are like the stubborn, hot-headed people right? That’s definitely me. Like I’m a big listener and listen more than I talk, but if I really disagree with someone and our decision is gonna end up affecting something big (grades, other people, etc.) then I am always 100% backing my own opinion and trying to convince the other person to see the same thing or at least see some of the benefits of it.

21. What is happiness to you?

Finding a bit of peace where you can relax and know that even if other stuff is stressing you out right now, you have this moment to just focus on the here and now.

22. Are you going through anything right now?

I’m always going through it. I’ve got a 12 page (minimum) paper due at the end of the semester, and I’ve been so annoyed with the fact that I can’t work on continuing fics. It’s been months since I updated anything, and I know that I have school stuff to take care of first, but it still gets to me seeing all these projects I wanted to have gotten done by now.

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made?

Literally any decision where I decided not to speak up when I was feeling lost or unsure.

24. What’s your favorite store?

Ooh, this is a hard one. Maybe Sephora?

25. (HALFWAY!) What’s your opinion on abortion?

Pro-choice. I don’t like to judge others for their decisions, and hope that they respect mine as well. Forcing other people to go through with a pregancy that they aren’t prepared for/that they don’t want/that could end up being terrible for their health is wrong to me.

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

Mentally, but I’ve been trying to get in the habit of writing one out. I do have tiny lists on my phone or on post-its (shopping list, homework to do, due dates)

27. Do you have a favourite album?

I can’t pick one! Some of my favorites are Gfriend’s Rainbow and Snowflake albums, EXO-CBX’s Blooming Days, EXO’s Exodus and of course, Jongdae’s April, and a Flower! I also used to love BTS’s The Most Beautiful Moment in Life Pt. 2 (I listened to that on repeat for a good month or so omg)

28. What do you want for your birthday?

A durable and cute purse. I’ve been using the same one since high school, and it’s still holding up but I want a more “professional” and “mature” looking one.

29. What is most people’s first impression of you?

That I’m quiet. 😂 People assume that I’m very shy (which is partly true) or that I don’t want to talk to them (which is almost never the case)

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

Kids think I’m a teenager, people at school think I’m a freshman or sophomore in college.

31. Where do you keep your phone when you’re sleeping?

Next to my pillow.

32. What word do you say the most?

Either “Oh god” or “What the heck”

33. What’s the oldest age you’d date?

25

34. What’s the youngest age you’d date?

20

35. What job / career do most people say would suit you?

A teacher (which is good cause that’s what I want to do, haha)

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

Pop in general!

37. If you could live in any country in the world where would it be?

Maybe Japan?

38. What is your current favorite song?

Gfriend’s Love Whisper!

39. How long have you had this blog for?

Since November 2017

40. What are you excited for?

Getting through this final semester!

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

Definitely a listener. I like listening to what other people have to say!

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

Get started on my monster 12 page paper and finding references for it.

43. What do you want for Christmas?

I never know! I guess I’ll get ideas as it gets closer to the date.

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

English

45. On a scale of 1-10 how do you feel right now?

5. I’m like half-dead from doing all this homework, and my eyes have been a bit red from staring at the screen 🙃

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

Hopefully teaching! If not, just working with kids in any form. Marriage isn’t something I need, but I do want to have kids and pets, so hopefully I’ll be in the process of/have had adopted.

47. When did you get your first heartbreak?

At 16? Or 17.

48. At what age do you wanna be married?

I really don’t have a preference. I’m of the mindset where if I get married, great! If I don’t, that’s still great! I’m glad to just have supporting friends and family, and while it would be nice to be married, it’s not something that I feel I need.

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

I wanted to be an author or a doctor!

50. What do you crave right now?

Sushi!

i’m tagging @byunfirstlady @g-exo @abangtanfangirl @trishmarieco @daelicious-jongbulge @marshmallow-phd and @crazy-gingerbread-lady

[azure-v3]

Hey, I really want to hear you talk about Kind Lie because I'm always so impressed at the amount of thought you put into your writing. I wanted to ask what was the most difficult scene to write so far and why ? Can you do a commentary of that scene ? I'm also curious about the chapter titles. How do you chose them ?

Thanks for leaving an ask, and thank you for showing interest in KL as always, even when it’s been almost a year since the last update.

There’s a scene in chapter 3 that popped into my head immediately thanks to a huge mistake I almost made, and looking back at that scene, there were some other tricky parts just before it, so I’ll just commentate that whole part of the story ;D

The context is, Kaito has woken up after (essentially) passing out the previous day because of exhaustion and a minor head injury—and suddenly remembers that he missed his arranged meeting with usotsuki.

(under the cut)

Alright so not much to talk about really, but I do remember having no idea how to describe the frantic spamming of mouse clicks that a person does when impatient.

Again nothing special, but Kokichi’s lack of worry here is notable for two reasons:

First, despite Kokichi always making a lot of assumptions whenever he can, it’s still always based off of some sort of evidence. If there’s no reason for him to assume something, he won’t. He has no reason to think something went wrong, so he has no reason to assume so. Similarly, he has no reason yet to even consider the possibility that he’s talking to Kaito, something a lot of readers don’t seem to realize. Kokichi is just smart, not omnipotent.

Second, it’s just reminding the reader that Kokichi doesn’t know about space_hero’s condition and thus has no reason at this time to worry. That changes quite quickly, however.

Alright, and here we get to one of the two really difficult parts of this scene, and the most difficult part about writing a character who thrives off of denial.

Kaito would never let himself finish the thought of, “what if I had died,” which makes it really hard for me to express what specifically he’s not-thinking about in this scene.

There are plenty of moments in KL where Kaito is an unreliable narrator/POV, and there are so many times where I’m not able to actually talk about what is going on through Kaito’s head because he’s actively avoiding/burying it. Since KL strictly follows his POV, I can’t suddenly jump out with a detached description saying something like, “Kaito refused to even think about dying from his illness” because Kaito is refusing to think about it.

Personally I think this makes for an interesting read, because I have to depend on the reader to fill in the blanks themselves. But that can also make it more confusing. Let’s take a look at what follows:

If the reader can’t understand what Kaito was stopping himself from thinking, they can’t understand why he reacts so dramatically. Kaito is so unwilling to even think about the possibility of his illness being terminal that he has to physically jerk himself out of his thoughts.

I think I played around with this scene a lot, because I was really worried about it being very hard to guess how Kaito was going to finish his sentence. I’m sure there’s some way I could have made it more obvious, but it’s just moments like these that make it really hard being stuck in Kaito’s POV.

Another difficult thing is describing the physical symptoms of his anxiety towards his situation. This is most notable in chapter 4, but it’s something I was concerned about as I reread KL for this ask. For Kaito to start suddenly coughing, hyperventilating, or for him to tense up at a moment’s notice—obviously all of that seems very questionable. However, that’s not what’s happening.

What’s going on is, Kaito is subconsciously and sometimes willingly ignoring himself beginning to tense up, or forgetting to breathe and relax. That leads to the physical stress building up without him noticing, and he only becomes aware of it when something very stressful or shocking happens, which causes that stress to overload and cause a huge physical reaction.

But again, if a reader can’t consider that, then it seems like I’m just dialing Kaito’s physical state to whatever the moment needs it to be.

All of this is mostly just classic Kaito distracting himself from his thoughts. I’m also trying to set up the fact that he and Rantaro actually are friends, that Rantaro travels and skips school a lot, and also that not a lot of people stick around Hope’s Peak Academy during the weekends. It was mentioned earlier in this chapter that Maki, Shuichi, and even Kirumi had somewhere else to be during the weekend. In Chapter 2, Kokichi went on a small rant that everyone, “even Ryouma,” hadn’t stayed at the school that night.

All of that, as well as Kaito knowing who would be around at school during the weekend, as well as “why can’t anyone normal ever sticking around” implying that this is a complaint he’s had before, implies that Kaito, unlike a lot of his peers, doesn’t usually leave HPA, and that that isn’t normal for an Ultimate student. Which might lead the reader to think that maybe Kaito has nowhere/no one else to visit.

Of course, there’s also enough clues to realize Kokichi also doesn’t leave HPA. If the reader knows about Kokichi’s and Kaito’s event where they’re the only two students around during the holidays, than perhaps it’ll be easier for them to go, “oh yeah.”

Alright, here’s the part that made my instantly think of this as the hardest scene in the fic:

It’s just that one line, but it was a pretty big deal to me.

Because originally, that line happened, and then Kaito kind of just wasted the rest of the day doing nothing, and it would be that way until he got a response from usotsuki.

I came back a few hours later to continue writing, reread that part, and it suddenly struck me how completely out of character that was.

Normally I’m pretty confident in my interpretation of Kaito’s character, but in that moment, I had completely lost a part of Kaito—the one that never stops trying.

Because that’s the reason behind Kaito’s entire denial. It’s not that he doesn’t believe he can get sick, or doesn’t acknowledge death as a part of life—Suddenly Kaito is being told that he has no choice but to abandon all of his dreams, and that he should accept the fact that he’s likely going to die, with no control over any of it.

No one is telling him that if he takes really good care of himself he can push through, or that it’s still possible he can recover and go to space. If that were the case, then we’d probably see a very different story, one where Kaito aims to do absolutely everything to ensure his survival and fitness. Instead, it’s a firm, 100% statement of “it’s impossible, there’s nothing you can do, and you need to give up.”

There is no space for him to try. There is no solution to the problem. Kaito is someone who needs to believe that he has control over the situation, believe that he can choose his own fate. Acknowledging the reality of his situation would break him, and thus denial is the only thing keeping him together. If Kaito loses hope, then he can’t go back.

Small little tangent aside, I felt like in that moment, I forgot what the root of this entire story was. And thus, this scene became a moment where I was pulling from my own feelings more than Kaito’s.

Now I’m a lot more careful about it and I’m often checking that Kaito is true to his beliefs, so hopefully there are no other moments like this in the future.

“That’s stupid” is a call out aimed directly at myself, haha. I do want to say that I left one line of Kaito’s inclination to do nothing just as a sort of tease of sorts. Right now Kaito isn’t giving up, but will that always be true?

Another bit of what could be foreshadowing, or maybe an innocent spark of foreboding for the readers.

Space is Kaito’s motivation, the embodiment of his dreams. In the past, looking at the sky gave him hope, but now there’s a sense of fear(—fear that he might not ever get to reach them). Once again, with Kaito hiding his negative thoughts, I really hope readers can put the pieces together and understand what the “sense of dread” is about.

But hey, this time I quite directly imply what it was. I’m quite lucky Kaito is at least vocal about his “positive” thoughts.

And with that, we end the scene with even more of Kaito distracting himself from all his problems!

I hope that this was somewhat interesting!! This might not be an important scene in the overall plot, but I guess it’s a good representation of Kaito’s denial, as well as a good representation of how I sometimes like to hide extra information in unassuming paragraphs. 

TLDR, this scene was the hardest to write because my point of view character is preventing me from actually describing what’s going on, and also it’s sometimes hard to separate his attitude from my own.

(I’ll answer your second question in a separate post, just because of how long this got.)

[purplesurveys]

1068

What internet browser do you use?  Chrome. It’s what I’m used to, but I also think it looks the cleanest among the other available browsers.

What brand water do you drink? (Smart Water, Dasani, etc) I never reach for imported water brands like Evian because what is the point?? The local bottled water brands we have like Summit and Absolute work fine and already do a great job of quenching my thirst.

Do you have a job? Yes and I go back tomorrow and I’m cringing thinking about it. I love my job, but I wish it wasn’t so mercilessly hectic for 9 straight hours, 5 days a week. I like to think that I was hired right at the start of all the simultaneous Christmas campaigns of our clients which is why everything seemed busy; so I’m hoping the workload will start to die down a little bit now that all the holidays are over.

Are you full-time or part-time? Full-time.

Are you watching TV right now?  Nope. I was watching on YouTube earlier, but I decided to focus on this.

Or are you listening to music? No. It’s silent here in the living room, just the way I want it to currently be.

Would you go to jail for 3 years for $1,000,000? I don’t think that’s enough money for a dare that big.

When's your birthday?  April 21st.

Thoughts on kids?  I’m a lot less idealistic about them now. I used to want kids with my only formula being “I’ll do the exact opposite of what my mom did with me.” but I realized it’s so much more complicated than that. Raising a kid/kids is a whole damn job in itself and I see that with how my cousins of the same age, but from different families, have been acting. My cousins from one family are really spoiled and entitled, and I can’t last in a room with them for more than a minute; but my cousins in another family are so ridiculously well-behaved I can’t even start to fathom how respectful and kind they are. That observation has scared me away from kids in the meantime, because I still have to figure out how to not fuck such a responsibility up.

Worst punishment you've ever received by your parents?  The worst thing they ever did was take away my laptop privileges for an indefinite period when I was 11, when they caught me being a dumbass on social media and cursing all over the place. It’s a reasonable punishment per se, but that was also a time when the internet was starting to become a resource and requirement for homework and school projects; so my parents didn’t know how many things I failed to submit because they didn’t allow me on the internet.

Are you the type who is completely against abortion? I am pro-choice and pro-pregnant people should be allowed to make decisions about their own bodies. I don’t like the idea of abortion, but I’ve always believed people should have access to resources to learn more about it, to a healthy culture that embraces it as an option, and to actual facilities that will enable them to receive one if the need be.

Have you ever read a book that actually changed your outlook on life? No, I don’t think so. Not yet at least.

Does your favorite flower hold any meaning to you? Peonies don’t mean anything in particular. I just think they look pretty.

What would you do if your favorite animal became endangered?  I can’t imagine dogs ever getting endangered, but hypothetically I’d be crushed. I’d do the same thing I would do with other endangered animals, which is to spread the word about their situation and what can be done to save them from getting even fewer in number.

Have you ever owned an expensive eyeshadow palette?  No. I never cared for makeup. I’m turning 23 and still don’t feel the need to invest in it...should I be worried?

Do you own a tripod for your camera? We used to, but I have not seen it in a long time.

Are your nails always painted?  They never are.

What's one thing you've had a toxic reaction to? A breakup. < This was true for me too, at least for a time. Another one would be the barbecue that my uncle bought for a family gathering once that was definitely contaminated with something...shit gave me food poisoning at 3 AM and made me think my half-naked self was going to die right then and there in the bathroom.

Which holiday is your favorite to decorate for?  We only ever decorate for Christmas, so I guess it wins by default.

Were you popular in school? By the second half of high school I was hanging out with the popular groups and getting invited to popular kid things, but I never wanted to claim to be popular myself. I still liked letting my friends take the spotlight.

Are there any foods that often give you heartburn or indigestion?  Is there something you intend to buy in the near future?  Is anyone in your family artistically talented? What about musically? What cute behaviors or characteristics does/do your pet(s) have?  What's the screensaver on your computer?  Crossing these out as I believe this survey is a shuffle of questions from many different surveys...? and I have already answered these five in a past survey I recently finished.

What’s the sexiest thing about a guy? I don’t really care for guys, I think... I still haven’t made up my mind about them yet, but all I know is I definitely have not felt seriously attracted to any irl man my whole life.

What’s the sexiest thing about a girl?  THIGHS

Who were you with at midnight on January 1, 2021?  Who was the last person to send you a message on social media?  ^ What qualities does this person have, that you appreciate? What was the last thing that caused you to scowl, or frown?  Have you smiled at any point during the last hour?  What was the last thing you consulted Google for? So, did anyone send you a "Happy New Year" message when midnight hit? When was the last time you were on a carousel?  What is the closest you have ever been to an elephant? Have you ever played Halo?  Have you ever read a National Geographic magazine?  When was the last time you had a pillow fight?  Name somebody who you think deserves more respect: In your own words, define what the word sexy means.  What is the most popular tourist attraction where you live?  Without looking - do you know what brand your underwear is? Are you any good at volleyball?  Have you ever had a water balloon fight?  Same situation as above. What an interesting order of questions, hehe. Still having fun with this though!

Do you think some babies are ugly?  Newborns are super wrinkly and make the strangest facial expressions from time to time. That won’t stop me from cooing at them, though.

Don’t you miss Chuck E. Cheese? I’ve never been there. Is it like a standard birthday party events place for kids?

Do you think Fall Out Boy is gonna be a classic band, like Queen or AC/DC? In time, maybe. 

Do you love stuff-crusted pizza?  Yessssss.

Do you apply lotion after you bathe? I don’t, but I should probably pick it up as a habit seeing how dry my skin can get.

What’s your favorite color? Pastel pink. < Same!

Who did you have your most amazing kiss with? Gabie.

Has a YouTube video of yours ever gotten over 10,000 views? I’ve never even posted a video on YouTube.

Would you ever get a tattoo on your collar bone? Not my spot of choice, so maybe not.

Do you like Robert Frost poems?  I’m only familiar with one and I’m having a little trouble remembering it rn haha.

Do you go to church every Sunday?  We used to go to church, yeah; back when it was okay to. Our local church has allowed face-to-face masses again (but with very limited attendees) but my mom has preferred for us to stay home, so for the last few months we’ve been watching livestreams of Sunday mass every week.

Have you ever been in a relationship on-and-off for more than a year?  I would say Gab and I were on-and-off, but it went on a lot longer than a year. The total time would amount to six years.

If you had to get famous for one of the following, which would you choose: music, acting, writing, modeling? Writing. Or modeling, if I could only pull it off.

What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don’t wear bras in public? I seriously don’t care. I skip out on bras all the time because I honestly personally don’t need them, and everyone should be allowed to feel and act the same way.

What is the last thing you tried on in a store? I never do this. Even before Covid, I’ve felt iffy about trying clothes that many others have already put on and were probably not washed 100% well. I’d rather get something, try it on at home, decide if it’s a good fit or not, and then return it ASAP if it ends up being the latter.

Is sleeping naked more comfortable than in clothes?  My mom doesn’t knock so I’ve always been scared to try sleeping naked (and she also throws a fit if she catches me locking my door, which is like - then why did you even buy a doorknob with a lock??), but I definitely see the appeal.

Have you ever had a dream in which you were making out, or more, with someone?  Yes for the more part lmao, but I don’t know if I’ve ever made out in a dream.

Do you feel as though you have a good memory, or are you forgetful at times? Do you feel that your short-term memory or long-term memory is better? Have you ever had a concussion or some other sort of brain injury before?  Do you have any sort of mental illnesses or disorders? What do they involve?  What’s the longest that your hair has ever been? How about the shortest? When is the last time that you got it cut? What are some ways that you style your hair? Do you use any sorts of products in it?  Who was the last person to truly get on your nerves? What do you think caused you to feel that way? 

Do you recycle? Is this through choice or do you live somewhere where it’s compulsory? Through choice. Waste management is sadly not much of a priority here, if at all.

Do you prefer plain, carbonated, or flavored water? Do you think you drink enough water throughout the day?  I have never tried the latter two. Water has always been tasteless and plain to me, and I never understood the point of customizing something that’s meant to be tasteless and uncarbonated. There are days where I’m able to have several glasses and other days where I unconsciously skip out on water until dinner.

Have you ever needed to call the police, ambulance, or fire department? Fortunately I’ve never had to call any of these.

When was the last time you visited the library? What was the purpose of your visit? I wasssssss maybe having something printed? If it wasn’t that, I was probably returning a book.

Do you see a lot of wild animals where you live? Are any of them dangerous? None of that here, especially since I live in the city. A sighting of a wild animal outside of a zoo or eco-park would definitely make national news, like that time an ostrich was seen running around a private village many months ago.

Aside from when you were born, have you ever had to stay the night in the hospital? Yep, from a dengue scare that turned out to be just a simple low platelet count.

Have you ever experienced a panic attack?  Yes, but they are extremely rare. The last time I had one was maybe two or three years ago. Unfortunately I think all my panic attacks were caused by and involved my mom.

Would you ever want to go into the medical profession? Was your answer different pre-COVID?  For a time, when I was hating journalism in college, I was daydreaming about the idea of shifting to biology and making the drastic swerve to med school. But I knew a love of memorizing and biology topics won’t be enough for me to be successful in the medical field, so I quickly shot the idea down.

Where you live, are people paying attention to whatever restrictions are in place to help control COVID? Many? People are definitely following and have been obedient with protocol in different places. Some cities are also still strict with maintaining their checkpoints and banning tourists from entering their area just yet. It’s the government that hasn’t really been making the effort to put measures to contain the virus.

Do you get a real or artificial Christmas tree?  Artificial. I don’t know if getting real trees for Christmas trees is a thing here.

What’s your favourite type/flavor of popcorn?  Cheddar cheese.

Do you drink oat milk? Nopes. I’d like to try it just to say that I have (and I might end up loving it too), but I have yet to look up what foods or drinks it works best with.

Do you love thrifting?  Sure, sometimes I get good finds from it.

Do you consider using only lowercase letters your aesthetic?  Sometimes I’ll use it in a Powerpoint or a tweet, but I wouldn’t say it’s an aesthetic that defines me as a person.

Do you say “mood?”  Too much.

Do you own fairy lights?  No. I wanted those before, but I’m not so sure if I still do now.

Do you own glass straws because the metal ones kind of gross you out because you can’t tell if they are clean or not? I don’t own glass straws. Most places have changed their cups into a design that you can sip directly from, anyway.

Have you made a TikTok? No, don’t care.

Do you own airpods?  No, but would like a pair.

Are you afraid of Mercury in retrograde? I really don’t care.

Do you make life choices based on astrology?  No, I don’t believe in it. It scares me how much some people rely on it and use it as an actual moral compass or judgment system. It doesn’t harm anyone so I never actively speak out against astrology, but it scares me nonetheless.

How many pairs of converse shoes do you own?  One pair. I used to own another one, but my mom threw it out several years ago.

Number of jeans in your closet:  I would say like 10-12.

What accent do you have?  Philippine English/Americanized Filipino, I guess.

Do you have a big butt? I’d say it’s decently-sized.

Do you count how long you and your gf/bf have been together? Yeah, before.

Have you graduated?  Both high school and college, yup.

Rihanna or Lady GaGa?  I like Rihanna’s music more, but I love Gaga’s outfits, concepts, and stage presence more. Do you use fake eyelashes?  No. I had to use them twice, but I’d never seek them out on my own.

Which was the last book that really captivated you? It’s been a while since I encountered a book like this.

What makeup brands do you use?  I don’t use makeup.