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bogleech · 8 months

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TOP TEN DINOSAURUSES

maybe you're wondering my most tenned favorite dinosauruses??? The science study of dinasacacers is called "dinosaurusology" by leading experts like myself, and it is constantly changing as we make new uncoveries almost every tuesday when we find new bones in my cousin rob's garage (he hasn't thrown anything out since the 90's!) As such bear in mind that up to two facts I am about to share could become dated over the course of the next century, however as both the king and queen of science this will only be true if I'm still available to approve the new facts. If I'm dead or kind of tired then nobody will ever know what's true anymore so you should be nice to me. #10: OVIRAPTOR

OVIRAPTOR was a good model for what all dinosacans were like: it was a wrinkly lizard that slithered in filthy dirt and had difficulty standing upright because its bones were made of rocks. This is why we have the term "the stone age," so be grateful you're living in "the bone age!" Oviraptor's name means "eggs velociraptor" because it was a kind of velociraptor that stole eggs. It didn't know what to do with them because nobody invented cooking yet and raw dinosaur eggs were disgusting, so every oviraptor starved to death.

#9: IGUANADON

This was the last known photograph of IGUANA DON (not to be confused with his cousin iguana dan) when george washington invented photographs 2 million years ago. Don was an ugly disgusting hilarious lizard monster with one horn on its nose and he died because he evolved a dining room in his torso exactly the right size for 21 cavemen to walk in and eat his kidneys. This was not helped by don's instinct to sleep on a big porch under a chandelier.

#9 DIMETRODON

DIMETRODON was the most common dinosaur of jurassic, which was the fifth and final era of dinosaurs after the ice age but before the ediacaran. In fact dimetrodon was the very last dinosaur to ever exist on earth before they were all eaten to death by the ediacaran's dominant predator: a species of swirly looking weird rock. Nobody knows why these swirly looking weird rocks died out, but it's most likely because dimetrodon was so poisonous from its diet of entirely pufferfish. You can tell it was a sea dinosaur because of its fish fin! #8: PTERADACTYL

PTERODACTYL was a regular dinosaur until it got married to a species of bat and its bat wife laid a bunch of pterodactyl eggs! This woodcut is however inaccurate: flying would not be invented until president obama discovered the first airplane in 1998, so pterodactyl couldn't possibly have stayed in the air and just immediately fell. The long 900 million year reign of the pterodactyl abruptly ended when the last one finally hit the ground (it took longer in those days because the oxygen disaster made so much more air) #7 SNORKASAURUS

SNORKASAURUS was completely unique among all dinocaurs by having a really long neck. It was one of the largest creatures to ever roam the earth at over 7 feet tall, or exactly 12 meters to those of you living in Liberia or Myanmar! This is the last known photograph of snorkasaurus, giving birth to the first cavemen. Snorkasaurus went extinct because all of them did this instead of making baby snorkasauruses. This is because like all dinosaurii they had only a tiny peanut for a brain, and nobody was around to give them 'the talk' because that wasn't invented yet.

#6 SMILODON

SMILODON was a very special dinosaurn because it was the first one to stand up on its hind legs after years of rigorous exercise and weight training. By inventing this new way of walking, Smilodon made it possible for the first monkeys to evolve! This is called "convergent" evolution.

#5 BULBASAUR

BULBASAUR was a majestic and beautiful species of neopet unfortunately disliked by the scientific community because it is the reason there are no flying dinosuars. Bulbasaur was the first ever flying dyanasar ever invented, 19 billion years ago on September 10, 2001, but the project was discontinued when its first test flight ended in a tragic accident. That's right: on September 11, 2001, Bulbasaur crashed into the stock market, causing the great depression that lead to the civil war :'( now to this very day, flying dinosarers are against the law.

#4 YOSHI

YOSHI is a type of dinersaulophus called a "bird," which was actually the second attempt by early neanderthal alchemists to manufacture a street legal flying dinnersauran, but the New Zealand government realized if dinophlofbuses can fly, then bats would no longer be special, and since bats are New Zealand's only major export it would have been an economic disaster. The queen of Australia (New Zealand's largest city) ordered the CIA to sand all of the wings off of these early prototype birds. Every bird tragically went extinct when it looked down, noticed how high up it was and remembered it could not fly, activating the effects of Earth's gravitational field.

#3 ANOMALOCARIS

ANOMALOCARIS was the dinosorcerous that discovered the first primitive cave painting of a modern day crab and invented carcinisation. All the other dinanders laughed at Anomalocaris for wanting to turn into a crab, but guess what??? Every single kind of dinosaur is dead but there's a crab still alive at 29, making it the oldest person in the world. Who's FUCKING laughing now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#2 EARL SINCLAIR

This is the last known photograph of Earl Sinclair, seen here as an uncredited extra in "Avatar 3: Lost in New York." Earl Sinclair was a sindonaur species that could disguise itself as a human by putting on sunglasses, a necessary adaptation in order to hide from the largest predator dancasore to ever live: Mellisuga helenae. However, near the end of the coal age, M. Helenae finally remembered that sunglasses hadn't even been invented yet. Look carefully, and you'll notice nobody is wearing sunglasses at all in this scene, making Earl Sinclair stick out like a sore thumb! If you're still having difficulty, here's a zoomed in image of this majestic thunder lizard:

Unfortunately......this wardrobe malfunction made Mr. Sinclair just as obvious to his ancient enemy, and the last Earl Sinclair's brains were sucked out on September 11, 2001, the darkest day in British history because he was the only one who knew the recipe to chicken mcnuggets (the only british food.) To this day all british people are extinct but you can still see their fossilized skeletons waiting in line at the department of motor vehicles.

#1 CONCAVENATOR

Concavenator was an Early Cretaceous carcharodontosaurid up to six meters in length with an unusual pointed crest on its back.

#science #dinosaurs #paleobiology #paleoart #nature #animals #lizards #reptiles #birds #ADAD don't get mad at me I actually hope if you ever see this you just find it cute and enjoy the convoluted references I put in

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muddyorbsblr · 9 months

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save my room for last

'one look and they'll know' collection masterlist See my full list of works here!

Placement: the morning after 'a sizing mishap', hours before 'a tale of ice baths and hot sauce'

Summary: One of the duties you're assigned for Soccer Aid Training Week is to run wakeup calls for a handful of players. Today you and your fellow staff members draw names for who you have to wake up.

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings: 18+ | smut-ish times [minors & pearl-clutchers, don't even try me i am not the one]; one (1) cuss word

Things to be aware of: cuddly clingy and overall menace bf Tom; cozy steamy times 🥴😮‍💨

The high-pitched scandalizing notes of your alarm pierced the quiet of your hotel room, effectively steamrolling your peaceful slumber in your boyfriend's arms.

"Too early," Tom grumbled, holding your naked body tighter against him. "Sun hasn't even begun to peek through." You fought the urge to snuggle further into his side and burrow your face into the crook of his neck as large hands freely roamed your back.

"I gotta go," you groaned, pushing yourself off the bed and trying to roll out of his hold, only making him let out a whiny groan and wrap his fingers around your thigh to pull you back to him. "Sweetie if I'm late I get whoever's left in the bowl for the wakeup calls." You had to bite your lip to hold back any reaction you had to his hand now lazily kneading at the back of your upper thigh, fingers traveling dangerously close to the part of you that was already most definitely awake and beginning to ache for him. Again.

"Not yet," he mumbled, pressing his lips to your forehead, tracing the features of your face lazily in sloppy kisses. "Just a few more minutes, goddess."

Dammit, when he got all whiny and needy like this, combined with the gravel of his morning voice, it was damn near impossible to deny him anything. You'd be downright hilarious to even try. And yet here you were, doing exactly that.

"I'm really sorry, sweetie, but I gotta go," you mumbled, letting out a few giggles that were muffled when he pressed his lips to yours, already pulling you tighter against him and sighing out in contentment as he did so. "I wanna at least have a chance of drawing your name from the bowls."

"Hmmm…you as a wakeup call," he pondered, the tips of his fingers running lightly up and down your side. "But I already have that luxury. That pleasure. Why give that up now for the possibility of having it again later?" He tightened his hand around your thigh and pulled you on top of him, making you brace your hands on his chest. "Why don't we just enjoy the early morning…" he trailed off, running his hands up the side of your body and down to your hips. "Just like this?"

You let out a groan, leaning down to press a brief kiss to his cheek before making a motion to get up and out of the bed. "Because if we do this it could very well be my first and last time on the committee, which means that if you get called back next year, chances are I won't be working the event with you."

Stepping away from the bed, you held back a giggle from the sight of his absurdly long arm reach out for you before flopping down the side of the bed, fingertips barely grazing the floor. You had to turn around to focus on getting your clothes back on, seeing as the sight of his naked form stretching in bed with the sheets so haphazardly draped over him and barely covering him from the hips down served as quite the distraction.

Add to that the way that the sheets traveled down when he stretched, putting on a sluttish display of the well-defined Adonis belt that framed the smattering of hair from his belly button leading down a path you were all too familiar with. If you didn't look away now you would find yourself back in bed and taking him up on his offer, position in the committee and wakeup call assignments be damned.

Unfortunately you knew that you needed to be there when they drew names. You prided yourself in being fairly decent in reading people, and you saw how the other members of the committee eyed Tom. They would be there before the names were even in the bowl trying some way to rig the system and get his name on the off chance that maybe they would catch even a fraction of the glimpse of the view you'd had just seconds ago. The worst part was that you couldn't even blame them.

The only thing you could really do was make sure you had an equal chance of drawing his name, too.

You opted not to bother with your bra and underwear, seeing as you would end up showering when you got to the room that you were designated to share with two other members, Lilly and Simone, anyway. "Go back to sleep," you whispered into the relative darkness. "Whoever ends up drawing your name, just make sure you're fully ready because I don't trust them not to have a camera on them just to snap a picture."

"Will you do something for me, sweetheart?" he mumbled, seeing the silhouette of his hand raising as if reaching for yours in the dark. You put your hand in his once you'd slipped your shirt on, letting out a little squeal when he brought your hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to your knuckles. "Save me for last if you draw my name. I'll barely see you between my practice and whatever gets assigned to you for the day. If I get even a few minutes having you all to myself I want to savor it until the last possible second."

"I promise," you said with a giggle, easing your hand out of his and pressing a quick kiss to his lips before you headed out the door.

You tried your best to make as little sound as possible when you stepped through the door of your assigned room, not wanting to wake your roommates so rudely considering the ungodly hour. Of course, there was only so much you could do with the hinges of the door closer all but sounding trumpets at your return.

"Hmph…" Lilly groaned into the darkness. "There's no way it's already time for the briefing."

"Calm down, it's just me. We have half an hour, go back to sleep."

"Y/N?" Simone queried softly. "Bloody hell where'd you sneak off to? When you didn't come in last night we thought you fell asleep in the lobby prepping the media passes. Had half a mind to go out there and retrieve you so you could actually sleep on a bed."

"I appreciate the concern, but I'll have you know that I didn't pass out in the lobby, or a conference hall, or anywhere of the sort. My boyfriend's working the event, too. I spent the night with him." That announcement seemed to perk them both up considerably, both women sitting up from the bed. "I'm gonna take a shower and then we can all head over to the briefing together and see whose names we end up drawing."

"Please let me get Beck," Lilly whined. "My sister will be totally stoked and maybe I can even get him to greet her in a video or something." She was practically bouncing on her bed from excitement now. "Who do you two wanna get?"

"I don't much care who I get," you bluffed, blindly choosing an outfit from your suitcase. "What about you, Simone?"

"Asa," she answered without hesitation. "Absolutely adorable, that one." She then let out a stream of giggles. "I'll tell you who a handful of women would absolutely slaughter each other to draw, though. Heard them last night talking about how they were tempted to rig the bowls somehow just so things go their way and maybe they could get a glimpse of the famous bulge that Marvel needed to shell out some extra bucks for to buff out with CGI."

"Rig the bowls?" you huffed. "What're they gonna do, have Hiddleston's name printed in special textured paper so they can feel which one to pick out?"

"Upper level conspiracy material right there," Lilly joked. "I'd bet they'd try and trade with whoever ends up drawing him. Gotta admit, though. I wouldn't mind getting his name."

"Same," you and Simone murmured.

Twenty minutes later and the three of you stood among the other staff members in the briefing room, four bowls filled with paper strips lined up on a table in front of you, and the head of committee, Johanna, standing on the other side of the table with a clipboard in hand.

"Right then. Each of you step up, draw one name from each bowl, and hold on to them until everyone's drawn four names each, two from Team England, and two from Team World. Then and only then will you all take turns sharing the names you've drawn. No swapping." She looked at the members closest to the door, her gaze landing on you. "Y/L/N. You're up first."

Your heart was pounding in every part of your body the entire way through, hoping beyond hope that one of the scraps of paper that now laid in your hand held Tom's name. You watched as the other staff members approached the table one by one, some of them doing the sign of the cross before reaching their hand in, others outright expressing how they wished they'd drawn your boyfriend's name once the papers were in their hands. All the while you did your best to feign indifference, fighting against your body's knee jerk reactions of tensing your neck or glaring at them as if you were imagining what they'd look like if their hair suddenly caught fire.

Once everyone had four scraps of paper each, Johanna randomly called out your names, instructing you to share what was written on your respective papers. With each disappointed announcement came more blatantly optimistic expressions from the remaining members; Lilly proudly announced that she drew the TikTok influencer Beck, and Simone beamed as she read out the name "Butterfield".

You took a deep breath before opening the papers when your name was called, struggling to not show the relief that washed over you as you read out the names in your hand. "Bolt…Claflin…Scott…Hiddleston."

"Y/N name your price," one of the more outspoken members from earlier, Brynne, called out. "Come on, you'd still have--"

"Rules are rules, Brynne. You heard me earlier," Johanna's voice echoed through the room. "No swapping. You know your assignments. Meet back here at oh-eight-hundred to receive your designations for the rest of the day."

Passing through the wakeup call runs of the players from the World Team went off without a hitch, consisting purely of knocking on their doors, announcing your presence, and they were out within five minutes and off to the practice field. There was a tiny bit of an awkward interaction with Sam Claflin pointing at your neck and asking if you were alright because it looked "concerningly red", even wondering if it was a rash.

"Thanks for the concern, but I promise everything's fine," you answered him, not-so-casually moving your hair about so that it fell down in front of your shoulders and covered the area in question. "It's not a rash."

That got quite the reaction from him, causing fairly taller man to break out in chuckles and lightly shake a pointed finger in your direction. "You're quite the character. I hope whoever gave you that 'not a rash' appreciates that."

"I think he does," you quipped. "I mean we've been at this seven years and he doesn't seem bored yet so looks like I might be doing something right," you topped off with a shrug, heading to Jill Scott's room next. "Good luck out there."

"Lovely meeting you, Y/L/N," he said with a wave before heading off in the opposite direction.

A few minutes later you were knocking at the door to Jill's room, a ridiculous excitement slowly building inside of you and making you rock back and forth where you stood thinking about the next and final stop on your list before you had to return to the briefing room.

"Who is it?" you heard her call out from inside the room.

"It's Y/L/N. From staff," you said for the third time this morning. "Morning wakeup call."

"I'll be right out." A few moments later her door swung open, the woman greeting you with a warm smile. "Hey…Y/L/N, at the risk of sounding presumptuous or giving you cause of concern I have to ask you something."

Her premise took you aback, making you walk a little straighter and touch the ends of your hair, making sure that your neck was still considerably covered. "Pretty sure that just brought my blood pressure up a few points, but go ahead," you prompted her, trying to make light of the concern you were already feeling.

"It's just I noticed something whenever you passed by the field yesterday afternoon and--Ah screw it, best to just bite the bullet. You and Hiddleston…are you two an item?"

The question had your eyebrows shoot to your hairline. "Hmm? What uhh…what made you think that?"

"Well, if you two aren't a thing, I highly recommend letting the lad down easy because he looks at you like those videos of pets when they see their owners come home. Wide dopey eyes and like his heart wants to burst out of his stupidly wee jersey. That is the most irretrievably in love man I've ever seen with my own two eyes."

You didn't even bother to fight back the smile that stretched across your face. "We uhh…we are. I won't be letting anyone down easy today because honestly I'm so in love with the man it's borderline painful," you confirmed to her with a little shrug. "I may also be the one responsible for that tiny jersey currently fighting for its life. And the shorts. We're just trying to keep things a bit…less public, you know?"

She clapped her hands together loudly, suddenly looking victorious. "I knew it! For the record, you two make a lovely couple. His face lights up whenever he'd steal a glance your way yesterday. And when the other ladies from the committee try to chat him up, it's like he barely even registers that they're paying him any attention. You caught a rare one."

Her testimony on how he behaved when you weren't around had your heart swelling. If there was one thing that was eating away at you, it was the insecurity you felt knowing exactly who you were with and how much more objectively attractive those women that practically draped themselves over him were. And the fear always lingered in the back of your mind that one day he'd wake up and realize exactly that.

"I know," you choked out. "I really lucked out with him."

She pointed down the hall, starting to make her way to the elevator. "Am I last on your list or you have to make a few more stops?"

Your smile grew even wider, basically giving the answer away already. "No uhh…there's one more. Saving him for last."

A deviously amused toothy grin stretched across her face. "Ah, I see I see. Well I won't keep you. I'm sure you're excited to see him again."

You made your way back to Tom's room as fast as you could short of breaking out into a jog, practically power-walking down the halls until you rounded the final corner to the hallway where he'd carried you in his arms just the night before. Nearly even began to skip on your way there until you saw the small group of people that were waiting just a few doors away from his, the one closest to your destination being Brynne.

"Uhh…are you all waiting for your assigned players to get out or…?" you trailed off, already straightening your stance, deepening your voice, and taking on a posture that you only really dished out once in a blue moon. In private. With Tom.

Everyone but Brynne stepped away from their relaxed positions against the wall and walked back toward the elevator. You eyed the audacious, slightly taller auburn-haired woman expectantly. "Come on, Y/N. Be a team player here. Every time I've worked an event that involved him I don't even get the chance to be anywhere near him, I'm asking nicely please trade with me. I'll give you Payne--"

"Ew," you cut cut her off, not backing down from your 'boss lady-slash-domme' tone. "Shouldn't have led with that, Brynne. I mean I kinda feel for you that you got Mister more than big enough for you luv, when in fact I've been to children's parties that served vienna sausages bigger than what the guy's packing--"

"Exactly!" she empathized, letting out a chuckle and reaching for your hand as if to form a bond between you two. You knew better, though, and moved it just out of her arm's reach, knowing full well that the motion was meant to reach for the keycard you were suddenly holding tighter in your fist. "So please? Be a pal and let me shoot my shot?"

You did your best to keep your jaw unclenched, fighting every urge you had to make a show of this particular wakeup call and reveal the very blatant reason why you would not be helping her 'shoot her shot'. "You know, Brynne, I really wish I could help you but…it's my first year here and I really don't wanna get on Johanna's bad side by disobeying her 'no swapping' rule." The conspiratorial smirk on her face dropped, now eyeing you with incredulity as if you'd given her a resounding slap right to her ego.

With her more or less out of your way, you walked over to Tom's door and knocked three times, same as you did for the rest of your assignments.

"Who is it?" his muffled voice queried from the other side.

"It's Y/L/N. From staff," you called out. "Morning wakeup call."

You could practically hear the smile on his face as he spoke again. "Am I the last on your list?"

Oh sweetie there's no list. It's you. It's only ever gonna be you, you thought to yourself with a smirk. "Yup. Last one."

"Please, come in then." The eyes of your onlookers widened the side of saucers at what they heard. "I'm nearly ready, I wouldn't want you to wait out there on your feet. Come in, catch your breath. Really, I insist."

You made a show of looking a bit perplexed at the offer. "O-Oh. Uhm…alright then." You turned to give your fellow staff members a casual look, shrugging before using the keycard in your hand to open the door and slip into the room, your cheeks and neck already straining from the laughter you were reining in as you saw the image that greeted you. "That is not even remotely 'nearly ready'," you playfully accused, motioning to the towel that he held around his waist, water droplets still running down his torso from the shower you suspected he'd just finished at most a few minutes ago. "What if someone else drew your name?"

Before he could answer, you held a finger to your lips and pointed at the door, then signaled toward your ear to tell him that there were people outside listening, or as you snidely put it in your thoughts, 'rummaging for scraps'. "Simple, darling. I wouldn't have invited them in," he answered in a more hushed tone. "I really should finish getting ready, though. Wouldn't want to let this wakeup call go on for longer than is expected of me," he said in a teasing tone, making a motion as if to turn around.

The air left your lungs in a disbelieving chuckle as he released his hold on the towel, the weighed down fabric falling to the floor with a wet sounding thud, and baring every inch of his gloriously naked form to you.

You had to force yourself to look away, gripping the edge of the dresser so hard that you were sure the skin on your knuckles turned white the second you caught a glimpse of the perfectly rounded cheeks of his ass.

That was monumentally easier back when he was mere feet away from you, and now nearly impossible with the way he walked right up to you, lightly wrapping his fingers around one of your wrists and leaning in to bring his lips closer to your ear. "I noticed you didn't have anything to put your hair up. I know how you get when your hair starts to stick to your neck," he whispered, lips lightly brushing across the shell of your ear.

He leaned in even closer, his slightly damp chest pressing against your shoulder as he reached around behind you with his other arm to tie a ribbon around your wrist. Your breathing hitched in the bach of your throat when he stepped even closer, working his thigh between your legs as he dipped his head and traced along your neck with the tip of his nose. "I uhh…I have to get back to the briefing room by 8…" you trailed off with a whimper, letting out a soft moan the moment you felt him press a kiss to your neck.

"We have time," he murmured, pressing another kiss on the same spot and smiling against your skin when you tilted your head and exposed more of your neck to him. He hummed into your skin, pressing closer against you, taking a deep breath as if he was breathing you in. "Is this a new perfume?"

His question, coupled with how he continued to press kisses along your neck, hands leisurely roaming your body as if you two had all the time in the world, put your mind in a haze. "It uhh…it is. One of the girls I'm assigned to room with suggested I try it out."

You began to grow weak in his arms as he kissed a trail down to your chest, his hands traveling to the back of your thighs to lift you up onto the dresser. "It's divine on you," he breathed against your skin, his lips kissing up to the other side of your neck and making you rest your forehead against his shoulder, struggling to take deep breaths.

When he started nipping and sucking at your neck was when you had to hold a hand over your mouth before you moaned so loud that everyone outside and maybe even the room above you would know exactly what was going down in this room. "What--"

"The mark on your neck looked lonely. Let me fix that," he whispered into your skin before latching his lips onto your neck again and proceeding to bite and suck a bit harder, causing you to press your lips to his shoulder and muffle your moan that way.

When you felt the all too familiar flames of your desire start to lick at your skin, your hands found themselves gripping at his back, struggling to remain cautious to not dig your fingernails in and claw at him.

"No," he grumbled against your skin. "Don't hold back, goddess. Sink your teeth into my skin. Mark me. Let me have you with me all day long." He weaved his fingers into your hair and moved to press his shoulder harder against you, as if urging you even more to leave your mark on him the way he was currently doing for you. His grip at the base of your hair tightened when you bit down on his shoulder, groaning into your neck a near euphoric sound that nearly sounded like a guttural 'thank you'.

You pulled away first, nearly gasping for air. "I have to be out soon or they're going to start gossiping about what they think is happening in here."

"They wouldn't be gossiping, sweetheart, because they would be correct," he shot back with a chuckle, pressing a kiss to your cheek before stepping back from you and finally letting you down from the dresser, giving you a soft smile as he fixed your hair to cover both sides of your neck. "I'll be ready in two minutes. Grab a water before you leave, you look a bit flushed."

"Menace," you murmured, scrunching your nose at him and giggling when he tilted your head up and pressed a quick kiss to your lips before walking back into the bathroom to actually get ready. You made sure to take a few extra seconds before walking back outside. No sense in letting a perfectly good view go unappreciated.

As you'd suspected, Brynne and the other staff members were still outside when you stepped out of the room, water bottle in hand. "Wow…" she droned at you, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "If you were going to nick anything from the room, you shoulda gone for something with a bit more substance. Amateur."

"Okay first of all, I didn't swipe this," you bit back, your tone from earlier suddenly making a return and causing a few of the staff members to flinch at the sudden shift in the room. "He told me grab one, said something about me looking 'redder than usual'. Second? If you have a problem with me being assigned to this particular player, take it up with Johanna. Because frankly I don't have the fucks to spare to deal with your petty toddler pageant behavior."

She stood in front of you gobsmacked, a small sound of utter shock escaping her when you made sure to bump against her shoulder hard when you walked past her as the door to Tom's room opened.

"Oh…I suppose you're all here to perform wakeup calls for your assigned players? Like Y/N?"

His words seemed to snap everyone out of their reverie and they haphazardly approached the doors and knocked, hollering their names and telling the person on the other side that they were there for the morning wakeup call. Your boyfriend let out a soft chuckle, subtly shaking his head at their antics and lightly touching the inside of your wrist before signaling for you two to walk toward the elevators.

"Am I mistaken or did I hear you using that voice you have tucked away for some of our more creative nights out here?" he asked under his breath, deftly swiping the bottle from your hand and bringing it to his lips to take a few gulps before handing it back to you.

"Had to," you answered before you finished off the contents of the bottle. "She was trying to make a move on what's mine."

That had him quickly wrapping his hand around your elbow and leading you into a more narrow hallway that probably led into the hotel staff's service walkways, walking you back against the wall and lightly gripping your chin with his thumb and forefinger. "Much as I adore it when you get a touch territorial, you do know that no one will ever succeed? There's no one in this world that can lure me away from you. I'm yours. Always."

You rose to the tips of your toes, bringing a smile to his face as he met you halfway, his lips meeting yours in a tender kiss. "I love you," you murmured against his lips, letting out a whiny whimper when you heard the footsteps of the other players and staff members about to round the corner.

"I love you, too." He pressed a quick kiss to your forehead before you two parted ways and he went toward the elevator, casually greeting the other players as he met them. Meanwhile you made your way back to the briefing room, surprised to find yourself the first one there.

"Ah. Y/L/N. With fifteen minutes to spare, too," Johanna greeted you. "How'd you like to be assigned to set up for the Elementals video?"

You fought to keep back the sheer joy that you felt from the offer, the knowledge that you'd be seeing Tom again in a short while filling you with so much excitement you were itching to dance on the spot. "I'd like that very much. Thanks, Johanna."

A/N: I was supposed to have posted this yesterday during my birthday but I got sidetracked building a Baby Groot Lego set 😂🫡 There's about 4 more stories that take place during Soccer Aid week for these two and honestly I can't wait for y'all to see what else I have in store for them because they're precious menaces in love 🥹🥹

everything taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @unlucky-number-13 @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @peaches1958 @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th @lovelysizzlingbluebird @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @gigglingtiggerv2

#tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston x female reader #tom hiddleston fanfic #tom hiddleston fanfiction #tom hiddleston imagine #muddyorbs writes

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fanfic-obsessed · 7 months

Text

We thought you knew

So this idea is both undeniably crack, and an AU of the Rako Hardeen arc.

The first thing to be aware of is that not a single member of the Jedi council is taking the threat against the Chancellor seriously. The analysts of the Jedi Shadows, the intelligence portion of the Jedi, all agree. The only way that this attack against the Chancellor is actually a viable threat is if the Chancellor is a Sith, and the mastermind behind the attempt. And nobody believes that the Chancellor is a Sith.

The council does decide to fake Obi Wan’s death to send him under cover, but it is only because the Chancellor seemed so proud to be contributing a plan. However they do not change Obi Wan’s face, they do not change his voice, they do not even make him give up the Jedi robes. The only attempt to change his appearance is that his hair and his beard were shaved.

They do not tell anyone that they are faking his death because they all thought it would be exceedingly obvious. Like the entire council thought that there was no way that Cad Bane or anyone else would fall for this, so they figured Obi Wan would be brought to the jail and then have to beat up a room full of criminals when he failed to convince them he was Rako Hardeen. Then they could all go back to figuring out how to win a war and try to get Obi Wan to take an actual vacation.

Note: To be fair, it was exceedingly obvious to 99% of the people who knew Obi Wan. Unfortunately Anakin fell into the 1%. So did the mercenaries Obi Wan needed to break out of prison with, and seemingly Count Dooku (Dooku knew who was there the whole time, but was under orders from Palpatine that this plan had to work). Ahsoka and the clones on the other hand, realized even before the funeral-due in part to the extended death scene that happened after Obi Wan was shot that had been written and directed by Mace Windu.

So Anakin is hunting down Obi Wan, in the guise of Hardeen, full of rage and grief. He is being followed at a distance by a troop of clones and Ahsoka. No one realizes until his first earnest attempt at murdering Hardeen that he is not acting. Every attempt to tell him what is going on is rebuffed in the most hilarious way possible. At one point he is fighting ‘Hardeen’ and first Ahsoka, then Cody, then Rex, then an odd assortment of other clones, then Padme (and inexplicably Yoda, who was not even on that planet at the time), each scream at him that ‘Hardeen’ is really Obi Wan, with Obi Wan agreeing each time, getting progressively more out of breath. Anakin cries dramatically to the heavens that Hardeen is not Obi Wan, he killed Obi Wan and everyone else is in denial.

Obi Wan is following through the rough plan of the Chancellors, which was never polished into an ACTUAL plan, because no one thought it would get this far. There is also no good way to tell the enemy that you are undercover, but never thought it would get this far. Also the surreal suspicion that occurs because ‘this should not have worked and this should not be happening’. Both Dooku and Obi Wan spend a fair amount of time pretending this undercover thing worked and the Dooku has not called him Obi Wan the times while not around the mercenaries.

In the end Obi Wan was there to save the Chancellor, though that this attack happened at all is what clued the Jedi in to the Chancellor being the Sith. At some point Anakin pouts/is angry that Obi Wan didn’t tell Anakin that Obi Wan was Hardeen. Padme takes a moment to slap Anakin upside the head, because literally everyone told him that Obi Wan was Hardeen.

#star wars #star wars the clone wars #fanfiction prompt #anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #star wars au #bamf obi wan #crack fic #rako hardeen arc

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spider-mancan · 1 year

Note

Starker fuck or die

This is insane. The entire day has been one dumpster fire after another. Peter fell asleep on top of a building still in costume with his textbook spread open on his lap to the sound of a phone call. The resulting jolt of unfortunate awareness nearly sent his school books down onto the pavement — instead they just have a stain from the webbing and an extremely damaged spine. Peter answered the phone but was more interested in mourning his rental deposit than whatever threat was causing the Avengers to assemble.

Then he heard the words Sex Demon come out of Captain America’s mouth and it was all downhill from there. Forlorn, Peter agreed to set his studying aside and come help out, because, really, when was he going to have another opportunity to sit in a room while Steve Rogers tried to talk about a Sex Demon in the debrief?

It wasn’t nearly as fun as Peter expected. They’d called him in because he was difficult to hit and had the benefit of both long- and short-range fighting, but some of the others weren’t so lucky. By the time he arrived, Black Widow had already been removed by Hawkeye, leaving Second Hawkeye looking very purple (“nice new uniform, Kate!”) and incredibly perplexed. Steve was mostly alright, but whatever was causing problems was not reacting well to the serum.

Causing problems, of course, meant making people extremely Down to Fuck extremely quickly.

“This is hilarious,” Peter says, swinging around the rafters. The warehouse they’re in has already been trashed, light leaking in through the roof and scaffolding collapsed in heaps on the concrete floor. “There is so much porn about this. At least two. Not that I know for sure.”

Tony comes over the comm. “I did hear Sex Pollen Sluts Go Nuts got excellent reviews.”

No one thinks this is funny at all, but Peter is too busy twisting out of harm’s way to feel bad about laughing.

It’s not a Sex Demon, which Peter finds incredibly disappointing. It’s just a man who believes in the power of the aphrodisiac, or something, and developed yadda yadda whatever he’s trying to get blackmail of the world’s most influential people blah blah super awkward and gross and his sex blaster doesn’t even look cool at all.

None of this is the particularly insane part.

The insane part happens about two seconds after Tony manages to topple Mr. Sex Demon over the railing and onto the ground, where the pressurized canisters on his back give way to the unforgiving asphalt and explode into a green haze so dense Peter can barely see the brilliant blue glow of the arc reactor in Tony’s chest.

“Mr. Stark!” Peter yells into the comm, without a response, and he’s swinging over to assess the damage when Captain barks orders for him to stay out of the way.

The Iron Man suit is already vacuuming up the fumes to remove the contaminant from the air, but Tony hadn’t been wearing one of his space safe suits which means there’s no internal oxygen supply, which means he’s also been contaminated. Regardless, the two men come into view and Tony just waves. “FRIDAY gives the all clear.” His voice sounds strained.

Peter drops down just behind. “Mr. Stark!”

“Spider-Man,” Steve calls, jogging over. “It’s best not to get to close—”

Peter is about to ask what Steve could possibly mean when he feels heavy hands grip his shoulders. The Iron Man gauntlets are heavy — in the armor Tony weighs nearly 400 pounds — and Peter winces. “Mr. Stark?”

He isn’t afraid — Natasha hadn’t been dangerous. She’d stood stock still for a moment, called for assistance, and immediately removed herself. Over the phone, Captain America had run through the symptoms of the spores, but Peter can’t remember all of that now. He vaguely remembers a loss of inhibition, some kind of animalistic behavior, and an increase in body temperature to dangerous levels over time.

“Tony,” Steve says warningly.

Iron Man’s faceplate lifts up and Tony is sweating, gritting his teeth. “I know, Cap.” His hands tighten, shaking, enough that Peter grabs one and flexes his fingers, debating whether to pry it off. “I’m trying.” Deep breath.

“Get away from the kid, Tony.” Steve pulls out his firearm and Peter is about to laugh, it’s insane, Tony would never hurt him. Touching Peter isn’t something Tony isn’t allowed to do. But when Peter goes to laugh Tony still looks so serious, so stony, almost sick. Deranged, even. Just a little.

“Mr. Stark?” Peter frowns and Tony’s eyes flutter closed, tight.

“Don’t call me that, right now, kid.”

Kate hops down from her perch in the rafters, awkwardly adjusting the quiver on her back. “I’m just gonna, uh, go.” She gestures over her shoulder to the door, which Tony blasted off the hinges not half an hour ago. “I’ll find a broom or something. Or just leave.”

Steve nods, mouth tight. His gaze doesn’t leave Tony where he’s hunched over Peter like a bad shadow, but his finger stays still on the trigger. Waiting. Not moving one way or the other.

Peter knows how these sorts of things go; if something can go wrong, it will. He runs through the data he can grapes through the confusion, tapping into Tony’s suit. Tony had been exposed to nearly twenty times the recommended dosage. Peter pulls his vitals through Karen and tries not to balk at Tony’s heart rate or internal temperature. Hot. Tony could fry an egg on his chest soon. “We need to get you out of the suit.” Peter reaches for one of the latches.

“Leave it,” Tony grunts. He’s bitten his lip so hard there’s blood in the corner of his mouth. “Better.” His hands haven’t moved, like he can’t move them, like he’s a statue. Peter is going anywhere without forcing himself free. “Better for you.”

“For me?” Peter demands. His hands are already on the gauntlet, but he freezes, struck silly by the sheer nerve. Tony is overloading and he thinks he should stay in the suit for Peter’s sake?

“I’m calling Fury.” Steve brings one hand up to his ear, gun still level. His eyes don’t leave Tony the entire time, even when he backs away slightly and starts to argue on the private channel.

Peter’s fingers tap a nervous rhythm on Tony’s armor. “Karen says you’re spiking really fast, sir,” he says at a whisper. This isn’t good for Tony’s heart, still weak, or his nervous system, which has been run ragged.

“I’m fine,” Tony chokes out through clenched teeth. His skin looks terribly gray, haggard, even. “I am really reliving some of my old glory days right now, but I’m fine.”

“Oh, yeah. Drugs.” Peter laughs nervously. Tony’s eyes are blown, the warm brown consumed by darkness, and his gaze is heavy on Peter. The gauntlet moves now, pulling up the hem of Peter’s mask until Peter feels metal against his pulse point. “Mr. Stark?”

Tony groans.

Peter is a good kid, but he’s not a saint. He’s seen the Tony Stark sex tapes, even the ones that Tony didn’t know were being recorded. He’d been through his own moral beratement when he opened it the first time, but he’d done it several times since because they’re something about Tony that Peter can’t get enough of. And Peter has heard that groan a million times. It’s not like his enemy just punched me into a wall groan, or his this meeting could have been an email groan. It’s the groan he makes when he opens someone up with his cock for the first time. The eyes rolling back, hips stuttering kind of groan.

Peter is suddenly very hard in his jock strap. Terrible. Terrible news.

Karen is a welcome distraction in the form of more terrible news. “Mr. Stark!” The vitals displaying on Peter’s HUD are approaching dangerous levels, especially for an older, unenhanced human. “Your heart rate. It’s crazy!”

Tony is sweating, mouth open in the face of the rising temperatures, and Peter starts to frantically start prying at the mechanisms that hold the armor together. Tony makes no move to assist. “Leave it.”

“You’re in a metal can and you’re already over 100F,” Peter tells him, as if Tony didn’t know. “You’re going to—”

He doesn’t hear Steve barking at him to stop. It doesn't strike him that it’s a bad idea until it’s too late.

Peter manages to get his nails under the ridge of the chest plate and release it, pulling back, and then suddenly he’s falling. Tony has miraculously changed his mind about the suit and decided to abandon it entirely, stepping out and using the momentum of Peter’s scrambling until they both fall prone on the ground. There’s a poof of dust as they clatter onto the warehouse floor, tangled together.

Steve looks over at them sharply and is yelling orders Peter can’t quite hear because he is too busy trying to place the way Tony is smothering him with his body. Even through Peter’s suit he feels the heat radiating off of Tony’s skin, so sweaty he’s almost slick. He smells like hard work and expensive cologne. Peter is bewildered, and he puts his hands on Tony’s chest to push him away only to freeze when he feels Tony pull up mask and lick a thick line from his collar to his ear.

“Mr. Stark, I don’t—” Tony gets a hand between them, pushing the release on Peter’s suit until it’s loose around his body and Peter turns his head to look at Steve. “Captain, I didn’t think it was supposed to be, ah, oh.” He shudders when Tony sucks Peter’s ear into his mouth. “Mr. Stark, please. We need to get you to medical.”

“No time,” Tony mumbles against Peter’s throat. He’s cupping Peter’s groin through the suit while the other hand pulls the mask off completely. “Want you bad. God, I can’t even think. Look at you.”

“Tony.” Steve takes the safety off, conversation over the communicator set aside, and gets closer. He doesn’t want to shoot. That much is obvious — if he was going to, he would have already done it. “I said get off the kid.”

“He’s mine, Capsicle,” Tony growls. He winds his hands around Peter’s back until their chest to chest, and Peter feel the rabbiting heartbeat until it’s hard to separate whose is whose. “Get your own!” There’s the tell-tale fire up of the propulser on Tony’s palm, and then there’s a stare down between Iron Man and Captain America with a shivering Spider-Man sandwiched between.

Steve looks away first.

Peter feels a bit wild, wide-eyed, confused. Flushed and hot and not attractive at all, but Tony is near-tearing the suit off of his body and Peter is so shocked he’s barely fighting it. Cold air hits his sweaty skin where Tony is pulling it down at the neck and it feels like an electric shock. “Mr. Stark, seriously. You need to—oh.” There’s a rough hand on his cock. “Oh, my god.”

Tony has both hands on Peter again, like he’s going to reach into Peter’s chest and start pulling him apart, but the Iron Man suit is in sentry mode now; Peter hears the thunk of the boots on the ground even as he’s writhing, trying to focus past the sound of his own insane breathing. He blinks and then there is red and gold staring down the barrel of Steve’s gun.

“Need you, kid,” Tony growls in his ear, pulling down the length of him through his underwear. This was not on Peter’s bingo card for the day. “Feel like I’ll die without you.”

Maybe you will, Peter thinks hysterically.

Steve could stop this, but the gun is slowly falling lower until it’s pointed at the concrete. “Peter,” he starts, “if you give me the word, I’ll remove him and take him to quarantine until we find a willing partner.”

“Partner?” The puzzle pieces are falling into place but there has to be another picture because the one in Peter’s head isn’t making any sense. “I thought this just made you horny!”

“It sure does,” Tony mutters. He doesn’t spare Peter’s underthings nearly the same respect as the suit, but he tears Peter’s t-shirt off at the neck and spreads it open like a child opening a Christmas present. Hands splay flat over sweaty skin, feeling Peter’s rapid breathing. “I’m going to ruin you, kid.” Like he can’t hear a single thing.

“I’m not—oh, god.” Tony is heavy on top of him and his cock is hard in his sweats, thick where it’s digging into Peter’s hip. Tony readjusts and grinds them together, hard enough that Peter scrambles for purchase against Tony’s back. “Cap, I don’t know what to do. What do I do?”

Tony rakes his nails down Peter’s bare chest, catching on Peter’s nipples with a satisfied smirk.

“What do you want to do?” Steve asks slowly.

Tony has such a high fever and his heart rate is dangerous and he looks at Peter and says, “you want to be a good boy for me, don’t you?” and Peter is so fucked. He’s both literally and figuratively fucked.

Like a flash of lightning, Peter remembers the call earlier: if Tony doesn’t come inside someone, he’ll overheat until he’s either cooked inside or dies from a heart attack. It had sounded kind of funny at the time, only half-paying attention.

Despite having a god among men standing not twenty feet away — oh, god, Captain America can totally see Peter’s boner right now — Tony doesn’t look away from Peter for a single moment if he can help it. Years of the revolving door love interests have made Tony extremely good with his hands. He’s often joked about it, about how good he is in bed, but Peter never actually thought he’d feel the way Tony smoothes hands over skin or bites bruises cherry red and it’s just a whole lot more than Peter expected to happen.

“I—I…oh, god.” Tony licks a line from Peter’s navel up to his chest and latches on to one of Peter’s nipples with his teeth. “I’m, I’m willing. I just—”

“Are you sure?” Steve says firmly, like Peter might be able to think straight with Tony all over him like every unfortunate wet dream he’s had since the seventh grade.

“If you don’t leave right now,” Tony says with a growl, “you’re going to get quite the show, Cap.” His eyes look clouded over, and he sits back heavy on Peter’s cock and just looks at the mess he’s made. Peter’s suit is hanging haphazardly around his hips and his shirt is ruined and his skin is bright pink. The cold wind through the holes in the walls brushes past, too cool on the spit-slick on Peter’s chest and he shudders.

“I’m okay,” Peter chants, and he lets himself reach out and touch for the first time. It’s tentative, fingertips across the scarring on Tony’s chest. “Like, what the fuck, but also I’ll be okay.”

If anyone understands that, it’s Steve, who is flushed almost as red as Peter and pivots. “I’ll guard the perimeter.”

With a grin, Tony rolls his hips so fluidly Peter whines high in his throat. “Kind of wanted to put on a show.” His cock is so hard, rutting into the dips of Peter’s stomach. “Bet he’ll watch. He just doesn’t want to admit how good you look. My perfect boy.” He grabs both sides of Peter’s head, fingers tangling in his hair so hard Peter can’t look anywhere but straight ahead.

Peter presses his hands flat. “Mr. Stark, I…” He closes his eyes tight. “What do I do? This is crazy.” Not last week Tony had been helping Peter with relationship advice, how to get a girl’s attention, clapped him on the shoulder and called him champ like he was going to take Peter to the baseball game later. “You’re…”

The first time Tony kisses him, Peter’s brain doesn’t care about the drugged nature of it. It’s everything he wants, everything he thought it would be in his wildest dreams. It’s possessive, almost bruising, like Tony is boiling over and he’s going to fill Peter up with it. Teeth nips at Peter’s bottom lip until he makes the smallest sound, a little desperate. What? That’s Mr. Stark’s tongue in his mouth.

Tony’s hands slip down under the waistband of Peter’s until he touches hair and Peter writhes, knees clanking together, trying to hide himself even though Tony groans again like he’s found nirvana. His nails rake up the sensitive skin near Peter’s groin. “So soft and beautiful.” Tony bites into the meat of Peter’s shoulder, hips still rutting in a sinful rhythm. “Knew you would be.”

“Are you sure about—ah, about this, Mr, Stark?” Peter tries. His tongue is so thick in his mouth. He can hardly process anything. Beyond Tony is the dingy gray walls of the warehouse, the open space, anyone could walk in and they’d see Tony pinning Peter down with his body. Tony has never looked at him this way; not that Peter hasn’t tried. “You’re…you’re going to hate me later.” He covers his face with his hands, feels the heat on his cheeks.

When he turned seventeen he’d pushed his luck. He touched more, took more. Kissed Tony on the cheek goodbye until he was daring enough to slip, catch just the corner of Tony’s mouth. Peter remembers it, it’s was Monday, rainy, because he’ll never forget the way Tony had looked at him after. Terrified. Disgusted, even. Of Peter. Of Peter kissing him.

Right now, Tony needs more than a sidestep kiss and pat on the shoulder. He needs a hole, something to fuck into, something to take apart piece by piece, and he’s already let Peter know he wasn’t interested in that with him. Peter’s brain is spinning, the reality of the situation started to seep in through the cracks of his shock, and he wonders if he’s being an opportunist by taking Tony’s wandering hands in stride.

“Oh, darling.” Tony leans in and presses a wet kiss to Peter’s shoulder. “I could never hate you.”

The sound of the zipper fills up the whole room. The space is public, with the open floor and windows and sun streaming down, but it’s quiet, save the police sirens outside. Tens of people, probably, just a flimsy wall away while Tony Stark gets his cock out with a groan.

It’s thick, uncut, slightly to the left, and nestled in a thick and well-groomed swath of dark hair. Peter knew all that from the videos, the tapes he keeps on his phone for the lonely nights, but that’s just an old image of Tony. Right now, Tony is on his knees above Peter and he grins, circling his cock with his fingers so Peter can watch it twitch. He’s still a bit gray, he looks sick, and his hair is slick against his neck. Peter has always liked that, when it curls there, but Peter can’t look away from the curls around Tony’s cock right now because he’s just a man and his mouth is watering.

“You’re going to be the best thing I’ve ever felt,” Tony says through that wicked grin, eyes dazed — mind far away, probably, since the fight has left him. He leans over, lets his cock drag over Peter’s stomach. Peter feels pre-come in a smooth line and it makes him whimper. “I’ve fucked royalty, the most powerful people in the world, the most beautiful, but I know you’re going to feel the best.”

He kisses Peter then, when Peter opens his mouth and moans at the idea. He brings one thick hand up to Peter’s neck and just holds him, all threat but no pressure, and opens up Peter’s kisses with the flat of his tongue until Peter is weak and loose on the floor. Those fingers pull his mouth down, slip in and feel his tongue slide under the fingertips, and Tony doesn’t have to tell Peter to suck because this has happened in Peter’s head at least twenty five times.

Tony tastes like metal and lotion and salt. He presses on Peter’s tongue until Peter drools around his fingers, grinding his cock into Peter’s hip and rolling his thigh up between Peter’s legs. “Knew you’d melt for me, sugar in the rain, just like that.”

Peter thinks his eyes might roll back in his head. Is he the one that got caught in the sex pollen nightmare? He feels giddy, almost drunk, and he lets more drool come out of his mouth and slick up Tony’s fingers. He knows where they’re going.

Tony is less single-minded than Peter would have thought, because he’s slow to pull his fingers away and he’s slow to lift up Peter’s leg and he spends an awed moment just looking, which borders on being too much. Peter can feel his ass clench when Tony runs a thumb over the pucker, and his legs tighten around Tony’s hips.

“Just, uh…” Peter wipes his mouth and hides his face in his elbow. “You can start, just…whatever you need.”

Tony presses in gently with the pad of his thumb at the same time he tugs Peter’s arm away from his face, just in time to see Peter’s expression slip into something feral. “Need to see you.” Tony bites into the meat of Peter’s shoulder and laves at it with his tongue. His goatee scrapes across Peter’s skin so good, and Peter curls up until his arms are curling over Tony’s head, hovering, unsure whether to bring him closer or pull him away. “My good boy.”

“Mr. Stark.” Peter presses Tony into his shoulders, another bite, and Tony slips a spit-slick finger inside quick and easy. “Oh, god, I didn’t think—I never thought—”

That’s a lie. Peter thought about it a lot, the way Tony might work him open. Tony’s fingers curl smoothly against Peter’s walls, one to two and then three, a little dry but Peter doesn’t mind when it hurts a little because sometimes soft and sweet feels dull. Sometimes he wants someone to rip him open and make him cry and if Tony is going to do it right now, under threat of death—

“Think about you all the time,” Tony croons heavily against Peter’s skin. He pulls away, purposeful, and Peter blinks. He wonders hysterically if the fog melted away, no more sex magic or whatever it is that’s making Tony want to destroy him, but Tony just draws closer until he can slap his cock around Peter’s swollen mouth. “Get me wet. I’ll make you stop thinking for good.”

Peter groans, an open invitation. This is insane. He shouldn’t enjoy this because Mr. Stark is drugged into wanting him and it’s a huge breach of trust and privacy but Peter scrambled up onto his elbows so Tony can feed him his dick, thick and perfect. He grabs Tony’s hip so hard he thinks there might be bruises but Tony fucks a little harder into his mouth, smooth.

There isn’t a lot of time for sex in his line of work, he’s busy, he’s pining over a man who doesn’t want him, not for real, but Peter isn’t too good to get on his knees in the back of a club and swallow someone down. He knows what he’s doing, throat opening up until the head of Tony’s cock hits the back of his throat. He hums. He loves this. He loves sucking people off, makes his head floaty and easy, and he’s got his eyes closed just to revel in it. He lets drool pool in his mouth again, knows it’s going to make his life easier.

Tony’s thumb wipes a tear off Peter’s cheek, and it’s only then that Peter opens his eyes and finds his lashes damp, stuck together, watery. “There’s my boy.” It’s so fond. “Don’t cry. You’re doing so well.”

Peter’s hips fuck up into the air and he pulls off, suckling at the head before letting it rest gently on his bottom lip. “I’m good. I’m good, Mr. Stark.” He feels Tony twitch against his mouth. It’s incredible.

It’s nothing compared to Tony rolling him over on his side, the obscene way Tony hikes up one of Peter’s legs and spits in Peter’s hole and feeds Peter the head of his cock so fast it burns a little, the way Peter kind of likes but won’t admit. It hurts and then his body knows it like this and everything evens out and Tony growls when he thrusts fully into Peter. His skin slaps hard against Peter’s hips, rocking Peter with a surprised cry further across the dusty ground. Tony just smoothes his hand over Peter’s hip, under the knee, and rocks into him. He bites feral at Peter’s neck and shoulders like he’s here to take and claim, like he’s going to want to see the shape of himself on Peter later.

“Oh, Mr. Stark, I’m, ah, oh, please.” Tony brushes up against his prostate and Peter jolts forward, bracing himself with his free hand on the ground to stop from being fucked flat into the floor. “Oh, please. It’s good. It’s good, it’s good.”

Peter isn’t sure Tony can hear anything anymore, but he takes his hand off Peter’s knee and wraps it around Peter’s throat, pulling him back so their bodies are flush and rocking hard and tight into Peter’s body. It’s hard to remember this is just drugs, this is just another day on the job getting fucked by the unrequited love of his life, when Tony watching the way Peter’s eyes roll back so closely. When Tony kisses Peter he tastes like blood but feels like gold, wrapping Peter up tighter. Peter couldn’t leave if he wanted to. He doesn’t want to. He’ll never want to.

“You take me so good, kid,” Tony says against Peter’s jaw, kisses wetly at the skin there. “Thought about this, about opening you up in the lab.”

“Ngh.” Peter is beyond speech, just like Tony promised, but his hand flies back to dig nails into Tony’s hip. His cock aches, dribbling precome onto the dirty floor and the tangle of his ruined clothes.

“It’s bend you over and slip inside and you’d just—fucking—let me.” He thrusts hard into Peter’s hole, punctuation, and the sound Peter makes is ungodly. “Thought about it when you glued yourself to the wall, just ripping your clothes off—mmm.” A slow roll Peter can feel in his toes. “Find you already open and dripping because I know you fuck yourself sometimes before you come in. FRIDAY can tell.”

Tony isn’t squeezing his throat but Peter can’t breathe.

There are a million and one first hand accounts of Tony Stark’s stroke, but Peter doesn’t think any of them compare to the real thing. On the ground, in the warehouse, while Captain America tries to stop New York’s Finest from throwing open the door and seeing Peter pinned here in the dirt, spread open—

“That’s it,” Tony whispers, gravel. He scratches down Peter’s chest and wraps his hand around Peter’s cock. “You’re so good. Go on. Make a mess. Daddy will clean it up for you.”

It’s deep in Peter’s stomach, rolls up until it burns in his chest and chokes him. His hips cant back, trying to take more of Tony, more more more of something that isn’t here, out here in the open. Everyone knows they’re doing this right now. Fuck. Tony’s suit is still there; FRIDAY is recording all of this, the way Peter shudders and writhes and comes and comes and comes all over Tony’s fist.

He falls flat on his stomach, Tony’s hand still pumping lightly until Peter is pushing back against Tony’s thrusts just trying to get away from the sensitivity.

“That’s it, that’s it.” Kisses all over his neck, his throat, his cheeks. “Let me take care of you. Almost there, so good. So perfect.”

There’s no condom. That’s the last thought Peter has, as Tony comes thick and hot in Peter’s ass and grunts, bites one more time. No condom. Very messy. It’s fine, probably, since Tony said he’d clean it up.

The adrenalin drop hits, empty, and Peter fades away into something deeper than sleep with his cheek pressed into the cold ground and Tony pulling out of his body, wet and sloppy.

#alright so this got away from me #obviously #i'm gonna add a little ending onto this and then post to ao3 because this is just a whole fic #starker #sex pollen #fuck or die #i did my best i've never written anything very exciting smut wise before lmao #asks #tntp #dub con #this is fine #im on fire it's fine

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thygoddessouijathicc · 6 months

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Bishop Edibility Tierlist; A very deeply serious essay about which bishop would taste the best if you had to eat one of them for any reason

Aight, 88% of you voted in favour of this being released, so this is on you. This blood is on YOUR hands. Just remember that as you read this.

So you all remember that essay I did about how the bishops all had some kinda trauma or different reactions to purgatory and shit and how that was such a serious thing analyzing dialogue and reactions and stuff-?

Well there are TWO wolves inside of me, and one of them writes serious researched essays, it’s time you meet the other.

To preface this, this essay is entirely a joke please don’t take any word of this seriously.

To start with, technically anything is edible if you try hard enough, sometimes only once but I digress, however some things are more appetizing than others.

For this essay we will be taking evidence from canon in some cases on things you can eat, but assuming that this only means these things are more appetizing in this world, not that anything you can’t feast upon very specifically in the game is somehow inedible. Meat is meat.

Also Narinder will be referred to as a bishop because he was one.

Ok let’s start our list.

At the absolute bottom of the edibility tierlist is Narinder. Narinder is a cat. While technically cats are indeed edible by the laws of meat is meat, cats hold a special place in the hearts of many including myself.

But to be honest the real reason that Narinder holds this spot is meat quantity and quality of him specifically. Narinder, holds very little meat. Sure he has a head, but his arms are skeletal and it’s safe to assume possibly a lot of the rest of his body tis also but frail bone. Possibly what is not could also be rotten if he’s that kind of god of death that qualifies as a corpse. And while meat is meat, Narinder not only has very little, but what he does have may be poor quality. This cements him in the shameful bottom spot.

He’s also a-

Moving on, next, quite regrettably, is Leshy. Leshy is a major jump in quality from Narinder.

We don’t know much about bushworms or their anatomy but what we do know, is Leshy is dummy thicc, this means he has a large quantity of meat.

Unfortunately Leshy is also a worm which isn’t exactly the most appetizing creature to put in your gaping maw so that docks him a few points.

However the true reason he cannot be higher is that depending on your read of his anatomy, Leshy could qualify as a salad, and EWWWWW VEGITALS!!! 🤢🤮🤮

Moving on to the “would eat again category” we start with Heket.

Now it should not be news to anyone that frogs are edible, especially to French people. But I don’t believe in French people, they aren’t real. Anyway as I’m saying, you can eat frogs to your hearts content!

There are sanitation issues with Anura apparently being super gross which docks some points but overall, Heket is a solid option.

Now we’ve reached “ok hear me out” territory with Shamura.

Spiders are a major food source in cult of the lamb. Which is a bit questionable for a few reasons, including that there are multiple spider characters and Webber exists but also small spiders on the ground which seem to be a separate species which raises a lot of questions possibly best gone unanswered.

What really matters is what you can do with the small spiders you find around, you can chase them down and when you catch them, they drop meat. My friends have told me that this means I’m just taking meat they are holding, after all you can get berries if the spider has taken them.

What I say to this is: but the idea of lamb running around at night and picking up whole large spiders off the ground and feeding them to their followers is fucking hilarious, and also they always drop the same meat and never berries unless they have picked them up. You’d think if I’m just taking what they have and they will eat berries as well as meat, that I’d get berries more often. Nay, only when picked up from my farms.

This leads to the only possible conclusion being that people in the cult of the lamb universe feed often on spiders, that’s right, Helob eating followers is VENGEANCE.

So, we have established spiders are very edible in cult of the lamb, and you know what Shamura is? A giant fucking spider. They are edible, I rest my case.

Now let’s move on to first place oh boy who is it, probably who you should have expected, Kallamar.

His name sounds like Calamari to start with and not only can you eat squids in real life, you can in the game (similar weird separate species thing with spiders only in this case it’s more definitive that you can very much eat the squids themselves.)

Kallamar would also likely cry if you proclaimed your desire to consume him, misery not only makes meat better but his tears could be seasoning!

Not even to mention the fact that after beating him, it would be a moment of victoriousness and pure vindictive nature, to proceed to eat Kallamar, and vindictive nature is something I most definitely do not lack as I cuss out bishops every time I see the statues after I beat them.

Squids also don’t have many bones so unlike the others who you’d have to spend an extensive time processing before eating, Kallamar would be easy and his bones make up very little of his composition.

In conclusion, why did you read this whole essay it’s not even that funny.

And those of you who voted to have this released. Are you happy?

Are you not entertained!?

#cult of the lamb shamura #cult of the lamb kallamar #cult of the lamb heket #cult of the lamb narinder #cult of the lamb leshy #cult of the lamb #COTL #cotl heket #cotl narinder #cotl leshy #cotl shamura #cotl kallamar #bishop shamura #bishop heket #bishop leshy #bishop kallamar #bishop narinder

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eleanorfenyx · 4 months

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I have finished Mysterious Lotus Casebook, and here are some of my thoughts! (Obviously not spoiler free)

The cases are absolutely batshit insane and I loved it every single time they were like 'we totally collected this evidence that incriminates a secret suspect, just believe us and also don't question when the fuck we had the time to do this or when we figured out that we needed to look for it'. 10/10 no notes, that's a hilarious way to have a genius detective. Show us nothing, tell us everything, YES king.

That being said, I could have done with a lot less standing around having the supporting cast repeat whatever Li Lianhua and Fang Duobing announce, maybe in an attempt to make sure their genius is clear for the audience? I get it, but at the same time it felt a little too hand-holdy for me, especially in scenes where LLH and FDB had already discussed their findings between themselves before presenting them to the concerned bystanders. I can read between the lines (or else understand what has just been explicitly stated) without having every conclusion filtered through a slightly different sentence structure to make sure I got it.

Di Feisheng amnesia arc my fuckin beloved

Di Feisheng destroying his 'father' and freeing everyone in Di manor in a vicious act of catharsis that tied nicely into the main Nanyin bug-mind-control-thing narrative my beloved

Di Feisheng my beloved

The amount of times I was like...genuinely surprised he and Li Lianhua didn't kiss is both embarrassing (because I do in fact understand censorship and what I sign up for with these dramas and yet and yet) and numerous enough that I could...possibly...theoretically..write a 5+1 fic of every time I want them to kiss about it. No one hold me to that but it's something I think I'd like to do.

Re: the above point: because what the FUCK was that ending?!!! EXCUSE ME?! I gotta FIX THAT SHIT.

There will come a day when the strength of my hope for an unambiguously happy ending in a queer(-coded? is the source originally bl or is this its own thing?) wuxia drama is rewarded....but it is not this day. I must fix this myself.

Jiao Liqiao's laugh is one of the most annoying things I've ever heard. I was reaaaaally hoping someone would just up and stab her during one of her little evil laughing fits. At one point I was shouting "KILL HER, KILL HER" at my screen because I could NOT take anymore of her (unfortunately, I did in fact have to take more of her).

I still think her insistence on being obsessed with DFS is hysterical when he is so VISIBLY only interested in LLH. Explicitly STATES that his only life purpose is to fuck fight LLH again. Babygirl (derogatory) he is so fucking gay let's get you a nice knife to the gut instead, okay?

I thought the whole Shan Gudao plot was interesting, going from looking desperately for his body -> putting him to rest -> hunting for his murderer -> finding out he's alive/the mastermind behind everything going wrong (which I was proud of myself for realizing before the reveal, I'm normally bad at that) -> thwarting him with sass and superior martial arts at every possible turn -> killing him stone fuckin dead with beginner level skills because he's so up his own hole he can't see that's what's happening - was really fun!

He also has a SUPER annoying laugh he can fuck off

OH OH OH MARTIAL ARTS SKILL OF TRANS YOUR GENDER?! I MARRIED HER SO HER AFFAIRS ARE MY BUSINESS NOT YOURS??? ASKING YOUR WIFE FOR HER FORGIVENESS AND UNDERSTANDING AS YOU LAY DYING AND SHE GIVES IT TO YOU?????? OKAYYYYYYY

The twist at the end that LLH is the one with royal blood was so funny to me. Like it's a good twist and I love that Shan Gudao was just quite literally always a fuckin try-hard loser in ways he didn't even know, but also it was SO funny. Granny coming in clutch at the last fuckin minute with secret knowledge she just literally never shared.

LLH is such a smooth motherfucker. Shame about his insistence on dying when quite literally everyone (bar the people who suck) is begging this man to just live. Just LIVE DAMN IT!!!!! I really liked it when FDB begs him to just consider his own life as important for ONCE and remember that people care about him because YES his self-sacrificing and committment to Chilling Out Farmer Style was not the mercy he thought it was!

LIVE AND GROW OLD WITH DI FEISHENG YOU DAMN IDIOT (the likelihood of me resisting the urge to write at least the one fic for them is zero to none)

Unironically love spitting up blood as a plot device and this show is no different. The Drama. The Panache. The desperation of everyone around you because you have BLOOD coming out of your MOUTH and you are FAINTING. Poison acting up? Spit blood. Someone bitch slap you with their magical palm ability? Spit blood. Get stressed? Spit blood. Get stabbed? Spit blood. It's always good!

Okay I think that might be all I've got for now, if I think of anything else I'll add them in a reblog. I thoroughly enjoyed it, would definitely recommend!

#mysterious lotus casebook #my thoughts #for whatever they're worth #it was nice too because unlike say Word of Honor I didn't mind the overarching plot about the jianghu #and the magical cures/objects that everyone is racing/fighting each other to get to first #WOH was just plain boring outside of the interpersonal relationships in my opinion #but in this there were only a few times I really just did not care about the latest fetch quest and wanted to get back to the relationships

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travalerray · 3 months

Note

please tell me about your chengxian timetravel au

[The Grandmaster of Accidental Time Travel]

Omg, thank you for the ask!!

Okay so. Basically, the AU starts from Jin Guangyao's stab being very fatal and Jiang Cheng dying and returning to when he was ten years old.

Most of his concentration is focused on a) stopping Wei Wuxian b) stopping Wei Wuxian c) stopping Wei Wuxian— you get the idea. Except we all have read the novel and know that Wei Wuxian is real bad at listening to Jiang Cheng. Or anyone really.

So shenanigans follow. Except due to certain things (Jiang Cheng's knowledge of future events, things getting shifted by a little bit, a shift in attitude and a certain case of fever etc etc), things keep getting shifted. Lan Qiren is called to Qinghe earlier, they discover the skeleton of Qingfeng-jun's teacher, fight the Waterborne Abyss muuuuch earlier and somehow also manage to prevent Wei Wuxian from getting sent back to Yunmeng. How? Well, Jiang Cheng kinda gets in the middle of the fight, because he is trying. A little. To avoid. Jin Zixuan fucking dying. And he may or may not have gotten a horrible reaction from the fight. The reaction also may or may not have been exaggerated due to certain reasons.

The engagement is still dissolved. by a letter. All hail the greatest father of all time, Jiang Fengmian.

Now, in the background what did happen is. Lan Wangji manages to develop an unfortunate one sided crush on Jiang Cheng. Lan Xichen thinks it's hilarious and pairs them up for a night hunt. It goes horribly, important things are revealed and Wei Wuxian finally gets to the gay station without reading the name of the station. Everyone suffers.

the real reason for the time travel is a fuzzy thing I have in mind which involves taking a certain element from 2ha (Three Forbidden Techniques) and fusing it with the ghost path invented by Wei Wuxian. I am thinking more specifically that the creature ZhanCheng do encounter on their unfortunate night hunt could give a nod to the two souls residing in Jiang Cheng's body (while he keeps having strange dreams that shouldn't belong to him. Now, I personally think that the idea of some of Wei Wuxian's tendencies to be transmitted onto Jiang Cheng via golden core exchange fucks heavily but like. What if they literally ate each other. What if I didn't know where I began and you ended. What if separating you from me would kill me. What if you doomed us both. What if—) which would fuck him over more. I mean, there's still Wen Qing left who is also trying to change the past to save her side of people, but that would involve another fiasco. Anyways

Jiang Cheng being an actually good sect leader trying to convince his father (who reportedly is like That™) that a war is coming is going to be horrendous. On top of which, Yu Ziyuan and Jiang Yanli are 100% convinced that the fever knocked Jiang Cheng silly in the head and made him worse with auditory problems, while Jiang Cheng is going, "I am acting like a normal 16 year old. Which is totally a normal and possible thing to want to achieve". Wei Wuxian himself isn't normal but even he thinks Jiang Cheng's habits are a little insane at times. Like. Diving into the lake for five hours at a time (tfw you used to cry in the lake while helping people dig out your family relics but can't tell your still alive family that lest they bring every single doctor in the jianghu to Lotus Pier AGAIN). Or other such things. I do think he might be able to convince Yu Ziyuan faster than Jiang Fengmian if he tried hard enough. But that's after the Qishan Wen Conference and after he finally says fuck it and invents evidence to get Yunmeng Jiang moving and contemplates the best way to alert the Gusu Lan Sect about the burning.

Since this is a slowburn, Chengxian do not kiss properly until like the end of the war preparations (before which Jiang Cheng strangles Meng Yao, panics, runs off, has a breakdown, swallows a whole vat of soup, cries and curses random things). Since this is also a slowburn the POV shifting is funny because it is:

JC: A war is coming. I need to make sure people do not die and Wei Wuxian does not give me a golden core and become a demonic cultivator. That's all I want, really, the fact that he's probably going to end up with some other guy is definitely not heartbreaking—

WWX: *trying hard to be normal* Shidi looks hot when talking about array formations. Did talking to Zewu-jun turn me into a cutsleeve.

anyways.

Since Jiang Cheng had managed to gain the trust of Gusu Lan Sect, the Cloud Recesses is mostly saved, which means Qingfeng-jun leads the war effort this time. Which means that the time travel plot which actually had been resting on the back burner kicks up since his backstory is very much connected to the whole schtick going on. Which also means that we get to see Yu Ziyuan yelling people's ears off as per usual, but this time it's not Wei Wuxian.

I do think about the reveal though. since in the original world, Wei Wuxian is dead for the second time and has given up his soul in trying to bring Jiang Cheng back. When Jiang Cheng figures out the whole situation, things are going to Not Go Well. Because that's exactly what he had been trying to prevent! Why can't they ever be happy without one of them being dead like that! What do you mean happiness can't be found without being writ in blood!

.......Wei Wuxian is going to have a stroke learning this.

#kk's ask tag #oops sorry for talking for so long #the grandmaster of accidental time travel AU #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #chengxian #mdzs #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mo dao zu shi

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soullesserror · 7 months

Note

Not ur DMs but oh man!! Do I have a character analysis to dump upon you. I’m not gonna do a ton of editing, but I do wish to share.

Oh bro, Q!Foolish is so cool as a character. Him and BBH are literally both insane in the exact same way, but with such different views on morality. It results in wildly different ideas of themselves and the world around them!

Foolish is selfish and he knows it, but he also loves his family dearly. He will do anything to protect the people he cares about even though that circle is pretty small. Anyone outside the circle is fair game tho. (BBH is an exception because he’s trusted, but Foolish and him love endangering each other for sport). By “fair game,” I mean Foolish will actively throw anyone under the bus just because he feels like it. Honestly doesn’t even have to be for any particular gain. He will absolutely do things just to see what happens. He acts like a morally grey immortal who doesn’t quite understand how normal people think anymore.

At the same time, a lot of his actions do have motives. A big part of his character is that Foolish just wants rare/unique items and will do nearly anything (including endanger others) to get them. He sees the island as a game to win, which makes it easy to not care about consequences for himself and others. He’s not malicious and he doesn’t seek to cause others pain, but will still do things knowing full well they could harm. He also fully accepts other people seeking retribution for his actions, because he’s got a “fair is fair” type mentality. He will simply deal with whatever consequences float his way for his actions.

Because Foolish is aware of his selfishness, he will never try and take a moral high ground. He doesn’t think he’s a morally just person, and he doesn’t care to be. He cares about chaos for the sake of fun, doing things to get him stuff, and protecting those he loves.

(Also, Foolish & Jaiden as people are both the embodiment of chaotic neutral. Everything they do together is fun as Jaiden enables the hell out of any idea Foolish has. Morality be damned, they just wanna be menaces for the sake of it.)

Also also, Foolish is actually smarter than he appears and presents himself. He’s actually a strategist at heart, but will only use it for his own personal gain and often under the table lol. He’s silly, but he uses that to play all fields and knows how to keep things secret. His behavior will often trick others into underestimating him, but unfortunately also leads to people fundamentally not understanding him or his motives.

Idk,, I stay spinning these Minecraft people in my brain like a microwave lol. I could probably give similar level analysis on a handful of my other main QSMP people, but yeah. Foolish is especially cool to me because people who have zero illusion about being morally fucked by normal standards are soooo interesting! It’s a very atypical way to aproach the world not giving a shit about morality while also being zero percent malicious. His /goal/ isn’t ever to hurt people for the sake of it, he’s just a means to an end kind of guy. He’s neat because about him and his explanation for his actions tends to embody a genuine sense of neutrality in the most insane way possible.

god this is so cool

I really want to watch more of Foolish’s vods to really get a grasp of him and I can’t really add onto this much at all but oh anon I appreciate so much. Thank you for this meal of a character analysis served on a silver platter

I think the type of morally grey Foolish is, is by the far the most fun to me. It’s that loyalty to these select few people and that loyalty will not change unless extreme circumstances causes it to. So so interesting. And also like. Him being friends with others but if given the popular he will screw them over? That’s hilarious. Good for him, doing things for the bit and for his own personal gain. I wouldn’t, probably, but selfish characters are soooooo… rotating around inside my head.

#qsmp #qsmp foolish #q!foolish #foolish gamers #qsmp character analysis

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absolutebl · 11 months

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This Week in BL

June 2023 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Step By Step (Tues WeTV & Gaga) ep 7 of 10 - I really adore the family/household dynamics in this show. All the relationships between siblings are so well executed. All the tension and sub text and covert glances in the first “modeling” sequence was so good. I really want to watch the BL within this BL. Bruce is THE BEST. Jeng shutting down everyone with a cool few words is genius (especially given the curt sharp flat way he speaks Thai). Why does nobody have parasols or sun hats or sunshades or sunglasses or anything? I’m actually not mad about seeing an attempted reunion with the ex, bc we are getting to see both that (and how) they once were good together, and also the cracks that drove them apart (and will not allow them to ultimately be together a 2nd time around). I do feel sorry for Jeng, he moved too slowly and lost the 1st round. The captions were not good in the trunk seen, but trust me it was totally hilarious.

La Pluie (Sat iQIYI) ep 7 of 10 - I finally figured out why I am so tense around this show. In openly taking to task and challenging the soulmates trope, this narrative is telling viewers not to trust it’s core trope - which means we cannot trust the main couple to end happily, nor can we trust those characters who believe most strongly in fated mates (Pat & Mai). This means I, personally, not only can’t rely on an HEA but (as someone who also does not believe in soulmates) I am not entirely sure I even WANT an HEA. This has NEVER happened to me before. It makes me uncomfortable because that’s a core part of my identify with these shows. I mean, good job La Pluie, but also.... huh. Back to this ep: Uh oh. The crush is obvious and the soulmate knows what’s up now. The sex scene twist was v interesting, v gay, and v unusual in a BL. Unfortunately it’s still a BL so the faen fatal just HAD to appear. Will there ever be one out of Thailand where this trope doesn’t show up? Next week is the tried & true uke damsels off into the woods alone. Sigh.

Our Skyy 2 (Bad Buddy & 1k*) eps 12-16fin - Jimmy, baby, why so hot in an engineering smock? Please have mercy. Aw, Marc is back in yet ANOTHER BL. Definitely the current record holder for most BLs at any one time. (His filming schedule must’ve been insane at the beginning of this year!) PatPran are still great, and their eps this had me hooting with laughter (startling the cat). I forgot how much I enjoyed this show and cast. (Ohm looks great with longer hair, but also he’s lost a lot of weight. I hope he’s OK.) OhmNanon give pitch perfect LTR energy. Throwing EarthMix into the, erm, mix is fun if awkward. NO SINGING. 2 damsels in the forest! Also PatPran = geniuses at mock fighting. So much flirting. It was all quite adorbs. But me-thinks Chief & Tian have been eating moonlight chicken. Full review below.

Be My Favorite (Fri YouTube) ep 3 of 10? - was enjoying it up until the last bit, why so digusted by smooches? Bad GMMTV no green tea for you. Trash watch here! Rollercoaster about to go DOWWNNNN.

Luminous Solution (Sat Gaga) ep 3 of 6 - I still only like the high school characters + Dome (WHY so gorgeous?). Is he a magical spirit too? Also, the subs were well off kilter.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku (Japan Thurs Gaga) ep 10 fin - God they’re so cute. This show used the manga as a storyboard, so I knew the “crisis of faith over possibility of loss” would happen. Still in live action this felt tonally off. While understandable given Yutaka’s character, and ultimately particularly important for the dad and a relationship with the family, I don’t know we needed it in this BL. The book does have a better ending second scene, but it wouldn’t be possible to do it on screen easily. Ultimately, this show had a simple, touching, quiet end to it. That’s very like the show as a whole. I did love it - it’s been top of my list all along. Full review after the special airs.

Love Tractor (Korea Weds iQIYI) eps 1-2 of 8 - I LOVE IT SO MUCH. IT IS EVERYTHING. SHUT UP I AM FERRIL FOR THE BEAUTIFUL CITY BOY AND THE YOUNG FARMER. Come on. Korea. SRS? Plus some language play? I just go die now.

Star Struck (Korea iQIYI & Gaga) ep 7-8 fin - Man this was a difficult show for me. I know we’re supposed to identify with HanJoon but I really felt for YooJae. I’ve been in his position more often than I care to count, and it’s terrible to lose a friend because they caught feelings and you did not. It’s an awful thing to hold a friendship hostage on condition of a romantic relationship. Especially if the other person is not sexually interested in you! All that said, the boyfriend ep was okay. Not sure I believed in this relationship, but it was cute enough. The final ep was (how do I put this?) a loser. We spent a lot of time with terrible home lives and then a semi happy for now final scene? Whatever. Full review below.

Vian the series (Vietnam YouTube ) ep 6 of 12 - somehow I keep missing this one, I’ll catch it next week.

Naked Dinner AKA Zenra Meshi (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 9 of 12 - I think the Taiwanese boss is my favorite character. Japan rarely (if ever ) trots out the faen fatal trope. I mean I named it with a Thai word for a reason, it’s not from origin yaoi at all. Yet still there she is. Sigh. This show.

Stupid Genius (Vietnam Fri YouTube) ep 1 of 6 - RL Studio (Stupid Boys Stupid Love) bringing us yet another high school set VBL. It’s actually not bad. I see a lot of common faces whom I’ve enjoyed in past VBLs.

It’s Airing But ...

House of Stars (Thai Mon iQIYI) 12 eps - I bounced at ep 3. Will binge if told it is worth it at end.

Stay (Pinoy YouTube) 7 eps - It’s mostly in English and set in LA so I’m not bothering but the first one did drop.

Ever After (Pinoy ????) - I got nothing.

Takumi-kun Series 6: Nagai Nagai Monogatari no Hajimari no Asa (Japan Sun ????) 10 eps - NO ONE ASKED FOR THIS and no, I have no idea where to get it, why would I? (Say it with me everyone: Oh Japan, must you?*)

Boys Love Omegaverse (Japan ????) - honestly tho? Who tf cares? You’ll still tell me if you find it, because inquiring minds... Irony of this airing at the same time as Takumi-kun. Full circle much, Japan?

Tin Tem Jai Special (Thai ????) - honestly I checked Gaga & iQiyi in my territory (craptastic hotel) and neither had it listed so I quickly gave up. I mean OF COURSE I WOULD LIKE TO SEE Lee Long Shi in a bathtub, who wouldn’t? But...

Just because I didn’t watch the special doesn’t mean I can’t gank Lee Long Shi wearing nothing but soap bubbles for you.

I’m not a monster.

Ended This Week

Our Skyy 2 final 4 eps thoughts: This was an interesting combination, and don’t get me wrong I very much enjoyed it, but it felt like the story was carried by PatPran’s characters while the setting and narrative followed an ATOTS arc - ultimately disjointed. OhmNanon are so bold and vibrant they’re too stark a tonal contrast to EarthMix’s more refined and elegant approach, so for me the screen presences and the style of story clashed. It was like a bouquet made up of tulips & roses: they are both flowers and they’re both pretty, but I feel like they actually belong in different vases. Still, enjoyable. And I got a crying kiss. Always makes me happy. Definitely the best of this bunch, and probably the best Our Skyy (and I genuinely loved both the NLMG historical installment and SOTUS.) 8/10

Star Struck. A friends to lovers story that felt more friends to tolerant yet disinterested partner. It was more about challenges with parents and class strife. I would’ve been disappointed if the show hadn’t come out of nowhere so I had no expectations. But as KBLs go, don’t bother. 6/10

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting:

6/15 Tokyo in April AKA Shigatsu no Tokyo wa (Japan Gaga) 8 eps - Based on a yaoi, this is a reunion romance that takes place in an office. Japan does Our Dating Sim? Yes please.

Still Coming - June 2023

6/22 About Us but Not About Us (Pinoy movie from 2022 on Prime) - A professor grieving the loss of his partner meets an ambitious literature student.

6/24 Why You (Khmer BL ????) - Billed as a horror romance, not sure if this is a movie or a series where it will air... nothing except that it exists.

6/24 Tie The Knot AKA Under the Same Sky (Pinoy movie on Prime) Trailer - I guess Prime is coming for our Pinoy BL? From OXIN Films (Rainbow Prince), announced for 2022 based on a true story, Briggs's family runs a bridal business but he has never had a chance to fall in love until he meets Shao, a groom to be.

6/25 Dinosaur Love (Thai iQIYI) Trailer 5 eps - from Ultimate Troop about a uni student, Rak, whose partner cheats on him with Rak's best friend. This gives bad boy hazer Dino an opportunity to hit on Rak at last. From The Yearbook people so I will not watch this as it airs. After Remember Me? Never again with them.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Bruce is so damn fantastic in this show.

Consent comes in all different forms. (both Step by Step)

Fight fight fight!

Sex sex sex blow job! (both La Pluie)

Smartest boy in the show.

Not enough InkPa... never enough. Never never never!

Love the suit.

All from the Our Skyy 2 BB + ATOTS cross over.

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? IVE’s I Am

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melded-galaxy · 12 days

Text

Ultimis Richtofen: Throughout the years

Part 2 of 3: Shit Gets Wacky

Call of the dead: After the teleporter malfunctions, Richtofen and the gang get stuck in a pitch-black closet. Shenanigans ensue. While waiting for the team of unfortunate celebrities to retrieve what he needs, Richtofen sexually assaults Dempsey twice, gets everybody hammered to distract them from any pesky resurfacing traumatic memories, designates potty areas and schemes.

Not much to say about this one, err, Richtofen's extremely horny and making it everyone else's problem, I guess? There we go.

Shangri La: Somehow, Richtofen is hornier.

The doctor is attracted to the statue of himself the natives built. He's constantly hitting on Nikolai in the jungle and makes incredibly sus remarks about the spike trap and the water gaiser. Clearly, the sexual frustration is real.

Richtofen's childlike tendencies also get even more exaggerated in this map. 'Weee!! My shoes go squeaky squeaky!' '*gasps* Spectre! It almost sounds like doctor!' 'Ah the beer of the root! Aha, I said root...'

It's implied Edward's mother used to scold him for playing with toys meant for girls and for frequently masturbating. 'Mother said I shouldn't play with dolls... or myself, but I don't always do what mother likes.'

Furthermore, he becomes enraged when mentioning his upbringing. 'this reminds me of my childhood-STOP TALKING TO ME!!'

Richtofen is becoming a better marksman through much practice. 'Either their heads are getting bigger, or I'm getting better!' 'Sniping's an art of which I am a master!'

Curiously, Edward doesn't remember his time ruling the natives, only remarking that the temple seems familiar to him and that he likes the scenery. Element 115-induced memory loss strikes again.

Plotwise, Richtofen manages to get his hands on the focusing stone and is about to teleport to the moon, when Dempsey yet again fires a wonder weapon inside of the teleporter. This causes the machine to malfunction and the gang make an unplanned trip to the Pentagon.

Classified: Classified is a bit of a confusing and abrupt entry, as it was added in bo4 to a story that took place all the way back in bo1, but a really interesting one.

Richtofen is quite a bit calmer here than in previous maps. His voice is also lower pitched for the most part. Out of universe, I think Nolan North said that he struggled to reach the same pitch as he had before, possibly because of both time passing and how used he got to voicing the much calmer Primis version of the character, but I'm not 100 percent sure. In universe, this is probably just because Ricky's tired and has less energy in this map, lol. He just got done fighting countless hordes in Shangri-la after all. Old man needs a nap.

He's starting to get impatient when it comes to fulfilling his plan to take over the MPD. 'One day, I won't HAVE to perform such menial tasks.' 'Are we on the moon yet?' 'Mock me all you want, one day soon I will be the one doing all the mocking!'

Dempsey hilariously mocks Richtofen's high-pitched voice in this map lol. 'What's wrong Richtofen? You scared? I thought I heard a little *Aaah!*'

When reviving Dempsey, Richtofen claims the man owes him a 'favour'. What that entails is (thankfully) never elaborated on. 'I hope you remember this, Dempsey. I shall want a favour in return.'

Edward alludes to Germany and Japan's alliance in WW2 when Takeo revives him. 'Ah I knew I could count on you, Axis old buddy old pal!'

Richtofen's getting better at hitting them headshots. 'I wasn't even trying! Hard.' 'I think that might be my tenth headshot of the day. Hooray!'

Samantha reveals to Edward that she's seen everything he will do if he manages to gain control of the MPD. She also warns him that they cannot use the aether, it will use them. 'Oh, SO brave, Teddy! You come all this way, just to possess the aether's powers! What was it you wanted? Oh ja, to find Agartha! As if it will somehow solve all your problems! How...childish. Do you want to know, Edward? What I've learned about this place? The aether is not for us. Not me. Not you. Not anyone. We do not use it. It uses us!' 'If you acquire this power, I know what you will do. I have seen everything. Do not worry, Teddy, I won't ruin the big surprise! It would make your sad little head explode! Besides, it doesn't matter because I won't let you take it!'

Hypocritically, he complains about Samantha's voice and screaming, despite, well... everything.

Classified's hidden logs reveal that after ww2 ended, Richtofen cut a deal with both the Americans and Russians to split Group 935's employees and research. Richtofen also revealed to both governments that Griffin Station was on the moon, which helped to ignite the space race.

A personal log Richtofen recorded reveals he did this on October 10th 1945. The friendship between Richtofen and Doctor Schuster appeared to be waning, no doubt due to Richtofen's unhinged mental state. When Schuster protests about dividing Group 935's staff and resources amongst the Americans and Russians, Richtofen tells him that: 'Everything Group 935 stood for died the day Maxis made that infernal deal with the Reichstag. You und I both know this to be true. Listen to me und understand. Our technological development with 115 has the envy of the entire world! These agreements guarantee our work will continue in America und Russia, and that they will continue with our scientists at the helm! I am sorry... but for our work to live on, Group 935 must come to an end. Oh cheer up Doctor Schuster, I have asked that you go to the Americans, it'll be good for your... softer side.'

So, weirdly enough, Richtofen still hated the deal Maxis made with the Nazis, even long after he was corrupted by the apothicons. He's also still fond enough of Schuster to bother guaranteeing the man's safe well-being with the Americans rather than the Russians, as he would no doubt be treated better by them.

Later on in the same log, Schuster pleads with Richtofen to tell him the truth about why he's doing all of this and what he's planning. Edward only laughs and tells him that he will be 'well taken care of.'

On a passing note, I recommend checking out all of Classified's logs/phone messages/punch cards if you haven't already. They contain a ton of fascinating lore about pretty much the entire storyline. Seriously, go do it, it's great stuff.

Moon: Here we are, at the finale of Bo1's zombie storyline! As we all know, this is the map that Richtofen finally completes his grand scheme to take over the MPD and subsequently the world. He does this by swapping bodies with Samantha and then attempts to kill Sam and the rest of Ultimis 'But! Not before we continue the game'. Maxis also comes into play, via being absorbed into Griffin Station's computer systems, and succeeds in weakening Richtofen's connection to the aether by blowing the Earth up with missiles with help from Samantha, Dempsey, Takeo and Nikolai. As revealed much later on in the story, Samantha and Ultimis don't die, rather they eventually manage to teleport back to Area 51 where they are subsequently captured and experimented on by the Americans.

Richtofen's getting laughably bad at hiding secrets. It almost feels like he's mocking the rest of Ultimis for their naivety. 'Wow, look at this place! A place I've never ever been before... ever. Someone turn on the power.' 'FINALLY IT WILL BE MINE! I mean, hey I think we're in space!'

He claims to be a very good hacker. 'My mad haxor skills are only eclipsed by my mad scientist skills. And it's very close.'

He seems to not know the English word 'excavator', or has forgotten it. 'That big diggy thingy is going to FUCK US UP!' 'Hm, it seems the big diggy thingy is going to mess up this rig.'

The doc also hints that he may know about alternative realities, something that comes into effect much later on in the story. 'Nothing happened... at least in this reality.'

He ponders turning Griffin Station into a thrill park if his plan to take over the MPD fails (based and thrill pilled): 'If this plan fails, I should build a thrill park here!'

Unsurprisingly, he seems to harbour a dislike for American women. This could also double as a leaning on the fourth wall moment, lol. 'What is with Groph's obsession with American women? All they ever do is PLAY GAMES!'

Interestingly, or perhaps terrifyingly, Edward shows interest in having children of his own. 'I hope this drink doesn't affect my fertility. Oh, the thought of little doctors!'

More of Richtofen being a huge hypocrite; he mocks Maxis's German accent despite having an even stronger German accent that's more exaggerated.

Hope you guys are enjoying this analysis so far! Part 3 might take a bit longer, quite a bit to get through. I'm really enjoying researching all of this, even if it's taking a shit ton of time lol. I'm sure there's still stuff i've missed or forgotten to mention, so feel free to add anything of note in replies/tags!

#ultimis richtofen #codz #edward richtofen #nazi zombies #cod zombies #call of the dead #shangri la #classified #moon #my post #character analysis #richtofen #analysis

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marwhoa · 1 year

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request: Hi!! Can you do relationship headcanons on Ritsu Kasanoda please :)

🝮 ritsu kasanoda dating headcanons !!

ritsu kasandoda & reader

author’s note: wow i really just took the longest break imaginable and then came back with this. lmao, i hope someone enjoys reading this!!! thank you and gosh do i love Ritsu uwu

edit: i misspelled his name but it’s 4 am and I think that’s hilarious so I’mma leave it

word count: 1.8 k

ఌ Let’s be real, he’s trying his best. Really, so before your relationship began, he was DESPERATE to figure out how to woo you—how to sweep you off your feet!

ఌ He didn’t learn his lesson the first time with not asking the hosts for help. But, this is in the LOVE department! Surely they know better about that than they do about making him look less intimidating?? Who could possibly be better to turn to for hints at romance?

ఌ Unfortunately, it seems this rambunctious bunch of boys don’t take him seriously at all. Seems. Maybe they think they’re taking him super seriously, but it REALLY doesn’t look like it!

ఌ So, he begs that you forget having walked into the Third Music room—since abandoned by its department—only to have been bombarded by swirling roses that flew all around you. They framed a path that you swore was heart shaped, up to Ritsu, who kneeled in a host uniform, his signature nervous smile, and a rose held for you to take.

ఌ Cue a fit of giggles that may or may not have made him fall even deeper in love with you.

ఌ Best believe that he never turned to them again (okay, maybe Haruhi, but even her suggestions were questionable… Some of them were great, don’t get him wrong! Like, the star-gazing idea or the “ walk-in-a-park ” idea! But, the “ clean together! ” or “ attend-a-host-event ” ideas were downright rejected.)

ఌ Well, not entirely. You know those big fancy balls the Host club holds? Towards the start and end of the year? Well, with Haruhi leading the plan for obvious reasons, he mustered up the courage and invited you to the ball with him. Was that a fluttering in your heart~? Eek!

ఌ Was this going to be when he finally made a move? When your budding relationship finally bloomed?

ఌ The night was beautiful, from the delicacies, everyone’s pretty attire, all the way to the lighting. This really was a party held by the most elite of society’s children! Your outfit was a gorgeous scarlet—gifted to you by Kasanoda’s right hand man who simply smiled and asked kindly that you please wear it! You couldn’t decide which to focus on, how they got your measurements or why this was happening.

ఌ Of course, deep down you knew full and well why it’s happening, didn’t you?

ఌ Let’s rollback a few notches. Now, what could have possibly made him fall for you? Was it, maybe, your sitting by him in every class despite everyone else making a painfully obvious barrier between them and him given the empty chairs around him? Nooo, don’t be silly, it couldn’t be that.

ఌ Oh, was it you seeking him out during lunch time, finding him alone in the garden, eating and talking to the plants? No, surely that wasn’t why he stared at you with glossy, grateful eyes that said, “ Please, sit, I insist. ”

ఌ Hmm, maybe it’s because of how many times you walked home with him and held normal conversations with him, as if he wasn’t labeled the school’s “ Scariest Man Ever To Attend ”? No, couldn’t be that. It wasn’t like he loved and looked forward to the walks, so much so that he silently waited by the door for you to collect your things and trot on up beside him, telling him all about your day. And it definitely couldn’t have been that for once, he was walking with someone who wasn’t Tetsuya, and this person beside him didn’t give off any vibes of “ I’m being forced to hang out with you, as a joke! A prank! ”

ఌ Oh, I know, maybe all of this is happening because of the first time you two met outside of school. It was the weekend, and you were out in the neighborhood for a reason long since forgotten by now.

ఌ There was the sounds of a struggle down a street, and you, being you, couldn’t help but think, “ Hey, if someone’s in trouble, the right thing to do is help them? ”

ఌ So, imagine the fear on your face and stiffness in your body to peak down the alley and see a red-haired boy surrounded by several others. Totally unfair, you thought! That’s too many people for one person!

ఌ His back was to you, and you locked eyes with the man in the center as he pulled his arm back and yelled something about how much respect he’ll get for beating the son of THE Kasanoda-Gumi group!

ఌ No matter how much you knew about the neighborhood or the syndicates ‘round these parts, nothing could have prepared you for how fast your feet carried you between the two, chucking your bag into the man in the middle’s face, shutting him up instantly.

“ There’s no respect for a bully that teams up on a guy! “

ఌ You said with faux confidence. The man behind you could have sworn you looked just like a little wolf protecting him, baring your teeth at a bunch of men that he just had a feeling would tuck and run at your appearance.

ఌ And that they did, though whether it was your display of Justice, their boss’s bloody nose, or the rather demonic aura seeping out of the guy behind you—that was anyone’s guess, too 🤷‍♂️

“ Uh… Th.. Thanks, for that. “

ఌ When you turned to face your damsel-in-distress, the drastic difference between his voice and appearance took you off guard. A few giggles, a quick apology for the rudeness, and a “ no problem “ for the thank-you, and suddenly his face was almost flushed as red as his scarlet locks. Silence blanketed your both before you shrugged and past him.

ఌ Wait, he called.

ఌ You paused, halting in your tracks, and turned inquisitively.

ఌ He stammered then continued, would he ever see you again?

ఌ Silence.

ఌ A once over, you gave him.

ఌ Then a bright smile.

ఌ Of course, you laughed out.

ఌ After all, you continued, we go to the same school. A point to the badge on his bag, and suddenly he had to avoid eye-contact just to recover from the embarrassment.

ఌ The same school? His luck must have been turning around if he could see you again so soon.

ఌ And so, there’s no telling where he fell in love with you. Whether in between, during, before, after—or maybe even not yet!

ఌ Regardless, you held your head high, excited to step through the doors. You were greeted with what would begin a night you would never forget.

ఌ Folks you hadn’t yet placed names-to-faces-for guided you across the dance floor. Hand-in-hand, trading you off to the next person who swirled and dipped you. The first was a guy with auburn hair, mighty tall, you noted. He had mannerisms or a mischievous fox. Next was a man with black locks, taller than the last, and never speaking a word. You missed the smile in his eyes as you were passed to an eccentric blond with a blinding grin. He was quite the chatterbox during this dance, taking longer than the others, before a smaller brunet boy took your hand and scolded him with a, “ Senpai, you’ll ruin the plan! ” This boy had cute quirks and soft hands. The dance was simple, sweet, and kind.

ఌ It was towards the end that you caught a glimpse of red hair.

ఌ The next hand you were passed into was familiar and welcoming. Calloused, marked with a scar here and there. They seemed like thorny hands that would hurt whoever made contact, but somehow when it came to your hand, they were the kindest, gentlest.

ఌ Your eyes gazed up to catch a glimpse of that same-old nervous, nasty grin you fell for.

“ Another plan, huh, Ritsu dear? “

“ Dear? “

ఌ He stammered, repeating the pet name you tagged to the end of his name.

ఌ A squeak of surprise escaped you as he was thrown off so much so that his footwork changed to include a “ step-on-your-partner’s-foot! “

ఌ A dozen apologies later, and below the stars you were.

ఌ The loud crowd had mellowed out with distance, so much so that the soothing ballroom music was audible enough to drag a mewl of happiness from your lips.

ఌ You leaned into him, shifting this dance more so into a romantic slow dance.

ఌ This would have continued, turned even more romantic as the midnight sky poured over and over again, renewing the twinkle in each star!

ఌ But, alas, any plan by the host boys just had to have one little signature quirk in it.

ఌ Though whether you could fault the club or not for this was anyone’s guess!

ఌ From the bushes lining the balcony his dancing feet led you to, popped up an even more eccentric dirty-blonde girl who screeched a, “ Oh come on, kiss them already! What kind of romance is this!? A SUCKY one, of course! “

ఌ Had it not been for your laughter, this particular redhead might’ve melted from embarrassment.

ఌ Instead, he cupped your cheek and guided your eyes to him.

ఌ There was hesitance, a glance here and there, and his mouth opening and closing inaudibly like a fish outta water.

ఌ So, you pressed affectionately against his hand then slowly leaned in to plant a chaste kiss upon his lips.

ఌ They weren’t the softest in the world, and perhaps slightly rough (easily fixed with some lip balm!).

ఌ And surely there was evidence this was his first kiss, first REAL kiss, but the fireworks in your heart made none of that matter at all.

ఌ From then, word spread throughout the school much too quickly that the rumor of “ Ritsu and Y/N? Canon or Fanon? ” was completely canon.

ఌ Your reputation rubbed off on him, and suddenly he found himself with more friends and acquaintances than he ever dreamt of.

ఌ The empty seats around him were filled with talkative randos—though, if ever they say in your seat, he couldn’t help the intimidating glare shot at them.

ఌ Your life after school would become much more interesting too.

ఌ Apparently the guy you beamed with his bag had inflated and hyperbolized your image tremendously.

ఌ In the streets, you were gaining a strange name, “ The Rabid Wolf “.

ఌ Whatever that meant.

ఌ Ritsu worried about it, assuring you he would clear your name, but you laughed it off and said it could probably do more good than harm!

ఌ After all, he did have fears of people knowing you were his lover.

ఌ Partner.

ఌ Romantic acquaintance!

ఌ …

ఌ He may or may not have been rosy-hued in the cheeks when you showed up at the house one morning, to walk to school together, obviously!

ఌ And the house erupted in, “ Kasanoda, sir, your lover awaits at the door! ”

ఌ You pretended to have not heard the girlish screech before a disheveled, heavy-breathing Ritsu slammed open and closed the door.

ఌ That walk had been quiet, save for your running-of-the-mouth.

ఌ Oh, and any time you shied away from dominating the conversation so, he would break the silence and say, “ Go on? ”

#ouran x reader #ohshc x reader #ouran ritsu x reader #ohshc ritsu x reader #ouran ritsu Kasanoda x reader #ohshc ritsu kasanoda x reader #ritsu x reader #ritsu kasanoda x reader #kasanoda x reader #ouran high school host club x reader #ouran headcanons #ritsu kasanoda headcanons

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armed-with-a-waffle-iron · 5 months

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The Beginning of Babs and Helena's Homoerotic Dynamic 💖💜💙 (Huntress: Year One)

I absolutely adore Ivory Maddison's writing. I also love that Helena and Babs had a homoerotic thing going from the get-go! So I'll talk about both.

A young Barbara Gordon was the perfect foil to Helena. She's just as resolute and stubborn as Helena. They both stand at 5'11" and tenaciously establish themselves in male spaces. but she holds different ideals of justice, which will of course change over time. Babs is a more traditional superhero, concerned with a rather binary of justice; there's only good and bad actions. Good guys should be revered and bad guys aren't really worthy of respect. It's ironic that Helena protests Babs's toasting to Mandragora's death considering she's his killer. Helena has a complicated relationship to justice. She maintains her devotion to and faith in god but has found herself on a lonely quest for vengeance in a world where blood only cries for more blood. She's lost but who's to say that Babs isn't also?

On the note of foils, I love how differently they're drawn. Helena has darker hair, skin and clothes than Babs. And Babs wears her hair up, painted her nails, and wears a suit and shirt. Babs represents a status quo-upholding good-doer while Helena's vigilante crusade is shrouded in the history of horror and blood that she was born into.

"We get the most upset at others when they mirror what we hate about ourselves."

In what ways does Babs mirror Helena? She's a legal librarian and, as we know, she's Batgirl. She's committed to serving justice, albeit a possibly different type to Helena's. She's also pleased by the death of Mandragora, who Helena chose to kill. The reason Helena dismisses Babs as naïve is because Helena senses a sheen of hubris, dogma and even aimlessness around Barbara's actions and words. And Helena resentfully recognises these traits in herself and condescends Babs to compensate. And Babs sees through this too, to an extent, because she also became defensive for the same reasons.

Helena makes a crude joke and, humoured, Babs seems to think they could be friends. But unfortunately more similarities pop up. Not only is Babs a fellow American but she's a fellow Gothamite. Helena has to take a drink.

"...I'm increasingly favouring kevlar and body armor[.] I'm sure we'd have a lot in common."

I find Maddison hilarious. But also, it's kinda important that the humour comes from the dramatic irony of the scene. We know one's Huntress and one's Batgirl but they don't! We know how similar they really are while they're just learning it and they've not even scratched the surface. That's how you write an origin story, like wow!

Moreover, the uncanny familiarity they feel instantly ends up drawing them apart. Helena is scared to get to know Babs because it might force her to face herself. So she retreats, not like Babs would knows anything about being a vigilante, right? That "ciao" is also attempt at creating between her and this (fellow) American. Babs on the other hand overcompensates and unitentionally pushes Helena away. No way this girl's like me, maybe she's more girlie-- I could try to act more girly. The "unlike you, us Italians are always going to funerals" line is super ironic considering that Babs lost both her biological parents to a car crash and that this story is set just months before Jason Todd dies.

Anyways, pretty homosexual, huh? :)

"Someone needs to teach you right from wrong..."

"Funny, I was just about to say that to you."

I love how fucking obsessed they are with each other. And Helena unconsciously reacts identically to how Babs did earlier: "not your best friend, apparently". We all know "friends" can't adequately really describe this.

Again, the conflict of hero vs antihero is central to their story. "[I'm] good. You're bad. End of story" says Babs; again we see her simplistic but traditional ethos of heroism. However, as Helena said we're "at the beginning of the story", not the end; justice is just more complicated than that. "Everyone thinks they're the good guys" vs "sometimes there really are good guys" is revealing of Helena's self-destructive tendency to self-isolate and look out only for herself. Babs's line foreshadows a truth Helena speaks later: "on the ground, you must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim". The fact that Helena wins this fight indicates an understanding of justice beyond that the traditional hero's but a failure to grasp the important of essentially solidarity. It's telling that Catwoman watches the fight from the shadows. Helena later demonstrates her appreciate of these themes Babs introduced, in her mission statement as she baptises herself as "The Huntress". Also these fights are the gayest things I've ever seen.

Huntress: Year One #4-6

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snoocupz · 5 months

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Yesterday my friend and I finished playing Ace Attorney: Apollo Justice on German! NOW,

Here's my personal opinion review of the German AA4 translation!

(And my free pass to ramble about my favourite game!) POSSIBLE SPOILERS for Apollo Justice, at least if you speak German!

1. Settings and names:

The game is set in the fandom-wide known Japanifornia still, and the translation doesn't really seem to make an effort to make it look like the game is placed in Germany, which I am somewhat glad about! Locations are, if so, translated very directly and at least to me it seemed like it kept its funny "Japanese/American" touch!

No names have been changed in the German version APART from Klaviers. Which makes sense, as the world Klavier in German is a literal object (just meaning Piano as most people know) and as a piano is also frequently mentioned I am not surprised they changed it. However, Klaviers German name is "Kantilen" which also includes a reference to music - however I mist admit I would have NEVER gotten this connection myself, making it... not a really good reference in my mind. I am quite surprised that they didn't stick with his French name Konrad, which is in fact an actual known and used name in Germany, other than Kantilen. There is no hint on the Gavins culture or anything, means Klavier unfortunately loses his touch of switching between languages, however I am somewhat glad that they didn't just changed it to any other language! So I am satsified and believe most of the English name puns were easy to figure out for a German person as well! :)

2. "Quality" of translation:

Here is a hard one. I should criticise the translation after all. Because I am genuinely surprised HOW MANY random typos the translation had. Sometimes they forgot words, sometimes a random letter would show up, sometimes a word was written wrong, or two words were written together that shouldn't. HOWEVER...

I must be honest, I thought it was absolutely HILARIOUS. It brought me a really good laugh whenever a random typo or word showed up, as if the person speaking ingame hasn't quite nailed the language yet. So I cannot actually say that it bothered me! I'll use one of said mistakes to come over to another point -

3. Use of formal language:

Now, this is something I just thought would be interesting to mention! In Germany "you" can be either said more commonly "Du" or more formally "Sie". Personally I thought it was extremely interesting to see who would use which word on which character as it was great to see how "different" their relationships actually are! As an example: When Apollo meets Phoenix and Trucy, they both immediately use the common "you" (du) on him, Apollo himself instead uses the formal version (Sie) for Phoenix mostly. Even more interesting was to me how Phoenix and Kristoph at the beginning of the first case while still being "friends" did use the common "you" on one another, until things get heated and they both don't only start calling each other by their last names, but also addressing each other formally and therefore more distanced! I thought that was really cool!... Up to the point where they appearantly couldn't decide between formal or non formal and just... made it to one non existing word. Another mistake that made me, personally, laugh rather than shaming it tho!

4. Use of specific language/ dialogue flow:

Lastly, the game translation deserves a big plus for the use of very specific German words that I wasn't expecting to see from the characters! Words as "Sonntagsfahrer" which cannot be directly translated but bring so much more character into it! The German language has a lot of specific words to express certain situations or emotions and they made really good use of this! Additionally it was simply funny to see the character use them. Of course Phoenix (no licence) would know what a Sonntagsfahrer is.

Here are some of my personal favourites when it comes to the use of specific words I somehow didn't expect!

Also; They make good use of common German slang. As an example, on some point Phoenix calls Zak "Kollege", not as in workmate, but a slang, and Woky keeps on saying "Alter" a lot, which is so very fitting. I was really expecting hin to say "Bruder" or "Diggah" next.

Lastly; Despite the errors they made the conversations on German feel really natural! I've got a lot of random scenes that made me smile and gave the characters such a strong personality! So - Here are some more!

If you made it this far: Congrats and thanks for coming to my Ted talk! Fact is - if you speak German and find it just as hilarious to me to hear and see these characters speak German I definitely recommend AA4 on German, it's been FUN!

PS: The fact that psyche locks are translated as "Psychosche Blockaden" truly killed me.Klar, ich hab jeden Morgen auch so ne psychische Blockade. 🫡

#ace attorney #aa #ace attorney apollo justice #apollo justice #AA4 #German

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familyagrestefanblog · 11 months

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The importance of Marinette complimenting Mister Bug's eyes in "Passion", and regarding Marinette's love for Chat Noir from 5x07 to 5x12

I honestly have to say I genuinely, truly dislike how this moment is perceived as "Lady Noire hilariously catcalling Mister Bug because Marinette is so insanely thirsty for him" by the majority of the Fandom. That is the furthest thing from what I see in Marinette’s intentions here.

I personally view this as Marinette realizing on the rooftop that this is now only the SECOND time that she's able to possibly see what Chat Noir's actual eyes look like and therefore she took the chance to comment on that, which merely came out as too directly and that made it awkward.

The following is not really what the rest of the post will be about underneath "Read more", but I just need to talk about this detail and it's implications because it's driving me crazy. It is part of the main points and the overal post's theme of Marinette's love though and will lead right into it while providing more context for it, so don't worry. Also, head-up, I had to get creative here and there to work around the 30 images limitation. I did not think that would get so complicated at times lol So, long post ahead x3

Unfortunately, the way this moment is shot in the end leaves out a crucial aspect of it and I don't understand WHY they did that:

When you watch this moment in normal speed and without being able to pause it then it looks like Adrien is reacting so uncomfortably/ irritated either only because Lady Noire is not moving and keeps looking at him OR because she IS doing something (negatively) he's uncomfortable with/ irritated by and we merely don't get to see it.

Also Adrien's head being placed in the upper right corner when he's alone on screen basically forces you to look at him next when the camera pans out, which means you are absolutely gonna miss where Lady Noire was before she quickly stands up.

And that's the thing:

THIS is what Adrien was reacting to. Instead of standing up to go into battle with him Lady Noire dreamily leaned forwards a solid bit to look at him more. But most importantly, especially regarding the "catcalling" line, Marinette is leaning forwards to see Mister Bug's FACE. His REAL eyes. You know, the part of his appearance she just complimented him for.

Looking into someone's eyes is the LEAST objectifying thing you could possibly do. In fact, other pieces of media deliberately utilize this method in scenes where a woman purposefully sexualizes herself and flirts with a man (for one reason or another, y'all know the trope) so the show/movie etc can showcase that the man is "not like the other men" and doesn't see her merely for her physical beauty by having him only look into her eyes.

It is BAFFLING to me that the show went out of its way to HIDE the actual reason for why Adrien is reacting like he does because by never letting us see that Marinette only leaned forwards because she wanted to she Chat Noir's real eyes and then got distracted by them and him, it really does Marinette no favor at all.

What she did in this moment was incredibly cute and wholesome and it's a shame the episode didn't used the wide shot earlier so the audience can properly put into perspective that, while Adrien's discomfort/irritation is valid because he is not at all used to Ladybug behaving like this towards him and doesn't know what to make of it or how to read it, WE at the very least would immediately know that Marinette did NOT just do something bad here that truly deserved such a reaction. But the way the episode basically hides that Marinette moved at all and HOW is giving room for understandable bad readings which in turn can be twisted into sexist double standards in both directions.

And I don't like that. I don't like it at all.

Because when you look at the overall situation and how Marinette now sees Chat Noir and so many things about him by the time of season 5, there are so MANY reasons for why her pointing out his eyes not only is incredibly wholesome, it also makes perfect sense WHY it's his eyes she points out and WHY this little compliment is actually very VERY meaningful in the wider context of how Marinette's love for Chat Noir develops in season 5:

With one exception, she has up until now only ever seen her partner as Chat Noir or in a miraculous unification that included the Black Cat miraculous, so he was never without the Green Cat eyes she knows him with. Never except for the one time in "Reflectdoll" where she didn't took notice of it and then it didn't happen again.

That one time she let go by without appreciating it because she probably didn't even pick up that there was something special she missed because for all it is nothing too much changed. Adrien still has green eyes and his regular blond Chat hair as Mister Bug.

But that is actually the point, in that her point of view changed.

By the time "Passion" comes around in season 5 Marinette let's herself embrace her feelings for Chat Noir and REALLY regrets having pushed him so far away until the end of s4, and yet she still has not a single clue if even any of the physical features she normally associates him with truly reflect his civilian apparence. She knows NOTHING.

Which while it absolutely does NOT in any way excuse her almost turning into his enemy in "Elation" to demask him as akuma bc he didn't wanted to be with her as Marinette anymore or her being.. VERY hypocritically upset about him "keeping secrets":

It does in my opinion at least give a very understandable reason for why Marinette spiraled down so hard as she did until it all escalated in "Elation" and blew up; and why she then snapped back to put full effort into platonic love with Chat Noir in "Perfection":

Her ending up in a massive emotional extreme in "Elation" where by the time the date happens she.. well, basically completely stops acting in anyway in Chat's interest too so he isn't hurt or forced into something he doesn't want (her knowing he has no idea that she's Ladybug), her then giving up her earrings in "Kwamis Choice" and from then on not acting on her previous crush on him anymore, does come across as rough and kinda as her merely rebounding on him, but frankly, no, it is NOT at all "proof" that Marinette's love for her partner is not and was never genuine.

in "Passion" her love for him really is still pure but by "Elation" Marinette had to accept that 1) Chat Noir doesn't want to love her anymore, and 2) she isn't what he needs. He needs a (romantic) partner who is with him as civilian because it MATTERS absolutely who is underneath the mask MARINETTE:

The way the show handles Marinette's crush on Chat Noir in how "Elation" turns out in near the end through the emotional extremes, and all of that then leading into "Kwamis Choice" is.. we all know that it wasn't good for both parties, so I'll leave it at that.

"Elation" leads into one serious low for Marinette and in it comes Adrien to help her, which from then onwards has Marinette find the love and happiness she was really looking for. But the fact that Marinette then found her happiness and love with "someone else" and not Chat doesn't mean that her feelings for him were never real and that she in all of this never truly hoped for him to find his love and happiness too:

And that is were we go on from "Perfection" onwards. Marinette's love isn't meaningless rebounding and we didn't get here for no reason. Marinette's emotional extreme that escalated so hard was neither irrational selfishness nor was it justified blamelessness.

It was rooted in her genuine feelings for her partner, her fear of hurting him further, loosing him and her wanting the both of them to get closer, be bigger parts of each others lives after everything that happened in s4 and just be happy.

You know, the happiness that Adrien as Chat explicitly named towards Ladybug in "Passion" when they exchanged their miraculous' and he very openly asked her why they cant make a wish themselves to finally put the fighting behind them. And Marinette in turn treated her partner's feelings and ask for help with all the seriousness and care he deserved.

Marinette too wanted this for the BOTH OF THEM. And what set this off so badly by this point no doubt was her trauma copying mechanism of having to know everything about the person she loves to keep herself save, cause that clashes BADLY and in several ways with her realizing for good that she knows very little about Chate for sure. Not even how he actually looks like.

As if Marinette by now doesn't know exactly that a miraculous transformation can changed most of a person's appearance. She knows who every Miraculous holder in her team is and where this already occurs - most importantly Alya as Rena Furtive-

but of course we also have the obvious cases of Hawkmoth, Mayura and now Argos too where it's to be expected that they massively changed their appearance to hide their identities.

Plus, Marinette's own eyes and even CatWalker's that one time are the same as Chat Noir's (which are by default actually Plagg's eyes) and Zoe having the Tiger eyes (for some reason?) as Kitty Noire really would put it into perspective for Marinette that she actually doesn't know anything about her partner's appearance for sure.

Cause apparently the Black Cat miraculous automatically gives you Plagg's green cat eyes or let's you take on Roaar's Tiger eyes if you wanna spice it up.

And let's add the fact that Chat Noir has blond hair, CatWalker's were green and now Marinette saw that Kitty Noire had blonde hair with green highlights; while Kitty and herself as Lady Noire also have a leather outfit and CatWalker shared Chat Noir's chivalry tendencies and turned them up to an eleven & every single Black Cat miraculous holder (including Marinette herself now) has depicted the same flirty and or romantic tendencies for the Ladybug miraculous holder.

Man, at this point I would not at all doubt it if Marinette were to genuinely question if the things she always thought she knew about Chat Noir are actually truly like him as civilian at all. She has no real reverence to ANYTHING. The only Black Cat miraculous holder Marinette knows the identity of is herself but even she is very well aware that she is acting even more "unhinged" as she already did.

So yeah, tell me what is there NOT to appreciate for Marinette in "Passion" about seeing Mister Bug again?

In "Reflectdoll" she most likely didn't even notice that she just received confirmations about a few things she already assumed about Chat's appearance and therefore took it there for granted. But now in s5 it turned into a case of "Phew, I DO actually know the most BASIC things about Chat Noir. I'm so GLAD!"

The Ladybug miraculous on itself up til now (Monarque Bug doesn't count that's a unification) has always keep the holders normal eye color and even if Alya as Scarabella changed her hair style, her hair color stayed the same. If anything it merely got a bit more vibrant.

Meaning that Mister Bug IS the only possible reference Marinette has to draw some conclusions on how Chat would actually look like as civilian. And secret identitiy be damned, at this point I would want to have at least SOME clarity too.

Which btw, yes, this means Alya's statement in "Elation" was correct:

Just because Marinette says otherwise doesn't it mean that her behavoir also reflects that all the time, and when it does, it doesn't mean that Marinette is morally anywhere close to RIGHT.

Anyway. She may still not know for sure if Mister Bug's appearance can truly clue her in on how Chat looks like as a civilian but at least through seeing Mister Bug again Marinette had the opportunity to put things into new perspective and narrow down the chances.

Marinette now knows for example that even if Chat Noir's hair doesn't exactly look like this civilian hair style-wise, his blond hair does have to be/ most likely is an accurate reflection of his real hair.

Plus, another VERY nice detail in my opinion: Marinette may know through especially Alya as Scarabella (but also through alot of other miraculous transformations) that the hair styles can differ from their civilian counterpart, but the fact that the boy behind the mask chose the same hair style as he always wears as Chat Noir does tell Marinette that the hair she associates him with is the hair style he personally prefers the most because he always comes back to it over and over again without fail.

That IS information about him (as it also provides information for us the viewers that unlike Félix for example, Adrien genuinely LIKES to have his civilian hair more messy and would probably prefer to go even a bit further but knows better and remains in the middle about it) and in my opinion, it's very wholesome that Marinette now got a confirmation that she knows how her partner prefers to do his hair. Idk, I find that cute <3

And of course the aspect Marinette herself puts the most emphasis on because, duh, eyes are the doors to a person's soul:

I don't know about you, but I personally cannot see any thirsty "catcalling" intentions in Lady Noirs compliment. Even if she voiced it too bluntly and it therefore got a bit awkward.

Wouldn't YOU be happy to finally get as close to a non-verbal and non-reveal confirmation as possible that you indeed were always right about what you assumed your dear friend's (for whom you also have feelings for) EYES look like?

Isn't it rather SAD that this is something Marinette felt the need to point out and compliment him for, one year into their partnership?

Cause can you imagine how much it would have hit Marinette in the face if suddenly Mister Bug showed up the second time and out of nowhere he had brown eyes? Sure, it probably would have stung too if he suddenly had brown hair, but especially with a miraculous transformation that is a secondary priority.

Why WOULDN'T Marinette be gleaming and starring happily while commenting how the red outfit makes his eyes stand out? Thats literally the truth! The Mister Bug suit is the only one she has ever seen her partner wear that make his eyes stand out FOR HER. Chat Noir's regular transformation magic Cat eyes are just that for her, the regular Transformation Cat eyes she associates with him. Adrien's real eyes are the RARITY here.

And seemingly, Marinette realized this by the time they reached the rooftop and this second chance to make up for her obliviousness in "Reflectdoll" very clearly meant alot to her because if there is one thing I learned about Marinette's body language it's that if she can't or has trouble looking a person (especially Chat Noir and Adrien) into their eyes she either feels bad about something or for what she is currently doing.

Marinette's eyes give her feelings away more often than not, even if she isn't ready to voice them out loud or face her mistake:

(I still find it remarkable how people are seemingly not picking up on how hard Marinette is projecting her guilt towards Chat Noir onto Kagami where most of it is badly missplaced and therefore caused the same problems as in the Ladynoir conflict [same with Luka in "Migration" but elaborating on that would implode this post that already starts lagging while writing and editing lol Kagami and "Perfection" are much more important imo]. So Marinette's/ Ladybug's dialogue that episode, especially around Chat Noir, more often than not very clearly doubles to appliy to both Kagami AND Chat. How else was especially the way Ladybug just pours her heart out about and TOWARDS Kagami/ Kagami's akuma form - who can't hear her ANYWAY - supposed to check out secret identity wise if the episode wasn't written in a way where Adrien understands that Ladybug is opening up about her s4 guilt towards him after they both left in "Kwamis Choice"? Like, the episode and Marinette's behavior, words and fears around Kagami don't make alot of sense in the intensity Marinette is displaying if you don't apply Ladynoir to it:

Sure, there is the obvious Chloè influence here, but Marinette's fear of her dear - but very blunt - friend she treated badly in the past calling her out and mocking her for not being able to face her love for Adrien and TALK when she basically got it served to her on a silver platter? [notice how without a pronoun you don't even know for sure if I just talked about Kagami or Chat. Hint: it's both.] And Marinette feeling extremely guilty about what Kagami had to put up with at the ugly end of her and Adrien’s love after Marinette treated her not exactly kindly until "Ikari Gozen" so she doesn't want to talk to Kagami at all until Marinette figures everything out?

Yeah, nah, this is clear-cut Marinette projecting her insecurities regarding Chat Noir onto Kagami. Kagami’s bluntness is what she fears from her and also from Chat - because she's doing the same hurtful communication inablility again with Adrien (or the boy she told Chat about in season 2, who she is in love with. Hence why the rebounding is hurtful bc Adrien knows that Ladybug loves someone else but is BAD at facing her feelings, so he's aware that she redirected her love to HIM as Chat because that's easier. Sorry, but that's what happened.) when it's very important, but she doesn't want Chat to know that [he knows though lol]- and combined with the similarities between Kagami and Chat Noir for Marinette in their history with her regarding treatment, love life [and an abusive/ bad home, which Marinette absolutely picked up on by now regarding Chat Noir, which is yet another thing “Passion” silently showcased aplenty, but that’s a topic for another post] yeah, Kagami ended up being the prime ‘target’ of having Marinette project all her CN insecurities on, which then escalated the situation in the Kagaminette friendship in a similar way Ladynoir did in s4.

That's straight up almost the entire episode.

You can't just say "That's Marinette's trauma talking" about everything and leave it at that. Trauma isn't irrational. If a traumatized person "overreacts" to something and it genuinely doesn't fit well at all to the situation at hand [like with Kagami] than that's because your emotional trauma is hooking itself onto a dynamic/ person similar enough as an outlet to deal with said emotions when you can't or don't want to channel your emotions at the person it is rooted in [for good or bad reasons]. Trauma on it's own is NEVER irrational and when it comes across that way that means the other person either IS doing something bad to you [intentionally or not] which merely doesnt look like that to other people from the outside, or your own trauma is misdireting itself to something/ someone else that shows a similar pattern that make your alarm bells go off)

So if Marinette struggling to look someone she hold dear in the eyes means she has hidden guilt, then the opposite applies for when she looks them (but particularly Chat Noir after season 4) deep into their eyes and holds the eye contact:

The key to Marinette's guilt and genuineness concerning vunerable topics is hidden in her eyes, if she dares to look and if yes, then how deeply, how long and how open to said vunerablity is she? Cause Marinette can, will and absolutely HAS dealt with emotionally important and vunerable topics while she herself didnt actually let it reach her own vunerable core and remained on defense.

So explain to me again what exactly was shallow and inconcidered catcalling about this moment:

Yeah, that's what I thought.

---

Oh. And do me a favor, will you?

Everything I just said, that it is understandable for Marinette to feel desperate at this point to know.. well, ANYTHING about Chat Noir as civilian because she loves him so much and he means so much to her - and especially her who has sworn in the past to know absolutely EVERYTHING about the person she loves to feel save falling in love - and at this point so many informations around them clash with each other that it would take away any certainty Marinette has about what she always thought she knew and liked about Chat Noir?

All of that and so much more I mentioned? Yeah, let's stop cherry-picking through double standards for a second and apply all of that good-will and understanding for Marinette literally even going so far and being willing to turn into Chat's ENEMY to demask him, get to know him and get his love and apply just HALF of that to Adrien.

And I'm not asking you to do that for no reason. Cause if you do that then

Voilà:

You also get your actual reason for why Marinette said this at the end of "Passion".

Cause this isn't just Marinette romanticizing Chat Noir seemingly being able to flawlessly do for her now what she herself has unsuccessfully tried putting her self through with Adrien two times already - entirely stop acting like she loves him to the point where Adrien or anyone else wouldnt pick up on any absolutely still existing feeling in her anymore. All so she isnt distracted or tempted anymore to do any kind of bad choices for romantical or emotional reasons -,

Nope

Cause this questionable moment at the end of "Passion" IS Marinette massively appreciating how strong her partner is. Even if she isn't properly there yet morally-wise.

Marinette's crush on Chat Noir is on full display from episode 6 til 9 and in these 4 episodes she is literally going further and spiraling down harder than Adrien ever did for Ladybug in 4 seasons. This questionable moment is later payed off by THIS in "Perfection":

At the end of "Passion" that was Marinette gushing over how Chat Noir is emotionally strong enough to not only pull something off she herself knows she could never do - fully stop acting like she love Adrien for the greater good - it's also her gushing over him BECAUSE she knows exactly that by the end of season 4 Marinette as Ladybug pretty much reduced the Ladynoir partnership and friendship down to "Chat Noir I want you around but don't ask anything of me, don't expect me to tell you anything or that you have any voice or status in my team besides being my favorite minion and MY emotional support."

Cool that YOU don't agree that that's bad, but Marinette herself is literally gushing and squealing in "Passion" while being in hard-core denial that her partner has actually already moved on from her (as she said he has to do) because she doesn't want to face the reality that it wasn't only bad, it was BAD and now Chat is trying to protect his heart while still wanting to be with her as friends but she was making that..really difficult for him:

It was a necessary development from episode 6 til 9 that Adrien as Chat Noir learned to assert himself against Marinette / Ladybug and reject her too and actually have it stick even if she is sad, because Marinette herself is indeed aware now how MUCH she asked of her partner to put up with, go through for her and to what little amount of certainty about anything around them and her - whom he loves/loved dearly and with all his heart - he had to settle and adjust to with no choice in the matter bc she didn't let him have any choices

(I swear, if you make all of the season 4 Ladynoir conflict out to be "just" about Adrien's LOVE for Ladybug and completely ignore how much her friendship and companionship means to Adrien I will break into your house at night time and eat your broomstick right in front of you while keeping eye contact. And I promise you, we are both not gonna get out of that one without receiving psychological damage)

Minimize and disregard it however you want. MARINETTE is at least emotionally fully aware of what she did and knows she - who has/ had to know everything about her crush and control as much as possible with barely any compromises - could not have gone through what she asked of Chat Noir while also leaving him all isolated. Which, again, is something she knows she couldn't do because she literally brought Alya/ Rena in fully on his expense while keeping it a secret (and 14 other team mates, bc that was oh so vitally necessary).

The difference between the end moment of "Passion" and the beginning of "Perfection" is that in the later Marinette is past her denial that her asking so much of him she couldn't go through herself actually caused him pain and that is costed him so much emotionally that it did leave him wanting to protect his heart from Ladybug romance-wise and look for his own happiness and love somewhere else for his own sake.

And for the record since I mentioned it earlier: Yes, Adrien noticed the entire time that Ladybug flirted with him ever since "Determination", how is this still a hot take? The development hardly makes any sense if he was just too oblivious to breath. Besides, the entire time Ladybug making a move on Chat Noir always resulted in him running and pulling away from her and Adrien making himself take the next steps in facing his love for Marinette and persue her. No, that wasn't a mere coincidence for like 7 episodes in a row. Gosh...

All of this is literally pay-off for season 4. Marinette's love for Chat Noir coming to light and compensating for her regrets for their partnership, friendship and especially romance-wise; him rejecting her too and persuing civilian Marinette as Adrien and Adrinette finding a healthy love while Ladynoir gets comfortable around each other again.

What have y'all been watching?

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