#which isnt bad but she also will drag anyone or thing down into it also and is very quick to call out people and situations

[kawaiianimeredhead]

On the one hand I really enjoy having someone like my coworker Miranda in my life right now because she is very different from others in my life currently and before and I think it's great

On the other hand I am so glad I did not meet her sooner because she can be exhausting 5o be around sometimes

[iheartmapi]

heyyy,

can you write alexia x reader angst if youre ok with it?

like them having a pretty harsh argument (because of what ever reason, you decide) and saying the meanest things to eachothet. Even though the argument startet soft, it ended with alexia saying stuff like: „the team is even successful without you we dont actually need you!“whilst r is trying to recover from an bad injury or „sometimes you truly are pathetic you know“ or maybe „can you shut tf up!? Is it possible seeing you and not getting annoyed of you for once?!“ or „no wonder you failed/lost/couldnt achieve/dont/ cant do this or that etc.. (the phrases are related to reader’s insecurities) alexia ends up going for a walk but when she returns r already put alexias bed stuff on the Couch and wont let her in the bedroom. After 1-2 days of not talking and ale trying to apologize, r comes up to her ( now even more insecure) happy but fearful ending pls make it as angsty as you possibly can. i hope it’s understood cause english isnt my first language:)

(I’ll try my best!!! Also don’t worry cause you wrote it perfectly and English isn’t my first language either so I get it)

Teddy bear

(Yes I listened to Melanie Martinez’s teddy bear when writing this)

Alexia Putellas x Reader

Summary: Alexia doesn’t always watch her words, and she sure as hell doesn’t during the most intense argument the two of you had ever.

Angst with a happy-ish ending.

TW: slightly toxic, degrading thoughts about one self, crude language,

Word count: 1,925

15:00pm

The hour Alexia returned home after being away with the team for matches, she ran a hand through her blonde hair..Alexia loved her profession but it was still a very tiring one, all she was dreaming of in the moment was a nice warm bath to soothe her sore muscles and a good night’s sleep..

She dragged her feet through the front door and dropped her bags in the foyer and went ahead to the living room.

Upon entering Alexia’s eyes landed on you, you were relaxing on the couch with a random book by some bestseller author which really could be anyone, but you didn’t really care…you didn’t have much to do due to being prescribed to stay home to heal from a recent injury on the pitch. Lately you’ve been apprehensive and often worried all because of your injury and inability to play.

You looked up from your cheap book.

“Hi”

“Hey”

The exchange of words between the two of you was short and awkward, this weird tension appeared in the house and between you two before Alexia’s trip, its genesis wasn’t really clear to her..but she figured it was all a part of your hyper-sensitivity from the injury and would pass quickly anyways.

Alexia passed you and went to the kitchen to fetch herself a drink, she gulped some down, taking in the taste of being back home before returning to the living room, the silence went on, but you weren’t focused on your book anymore, though you pretended to be, secretly you were eyeing her every move, from when she walked into the living room to now as she was standing by the window looking outside.

You gulped, “Alexia?”

“Yeah?”

“Listen I-“ you rethought that “We…have something to talk about” the knots in your stomach were multiplying from stress each minute, Alexia was looking at you, the intensity of her gaze wasn’t helping you out.

“It’s about this specific..behaviour of yours” You started “I think you’re- um..I…” What were you supposed to say? You rehearsed this so many times before she came back yet now you felt as if you were on fire and your memory was gone. “I think sometimes you’re too touchy with others” you finally choked it out.

Alexia looked at you with an almost judging look “As in?” She stated sharply, “I mean like..we’re girlfriends you know? And I don’t want to forbid you from hugging others and stuff but sometimes you act so..intensely affectionate, like with Ona-“ Alexia immediately butted in “Are you being serious right now?” She belted at you “For fucks sake Y/n…you think I’m cheating on you with the whole team just because I hug them or something?” You feared this exact reaction from her “I didn’t say that…” You murmured “You kind of did though, I just got back and this is the greeting I get? Can’t you ever knock it down a notch?” She started ranting “You’re so melodramatic, as always” she scoffed.

“I’m not being melodramatic” you said, you felt weak against Alexia but you couldn’t just let her walk over you like this in this argument. “So it’s wrong of me to be afraid of my own damn girlfriend being so touchy with everyone?” You protested “It’s always like this, I’m the bad guy and you’re the victim”

Alexia took a deep breath, you swear you could detect the anger forming inside her pupils, then she opened her mouth, and yelled at you.

“Can you shut the fuck up?! Is it possible, seeing you and not getting annoyed of you for once?!” She scowled, you opened your mouth wanting to protect yourself, or calm her down, just say anything, but hell…it’s like every word ran away from you.

“See? You can’t even form a sentence, cause you know that you’re spitting straight bullshit” Alexia rolled her eyes “Sometimes you truly are pathetic you know”

Wow. Your eyes widened and you closed your mouth, not believing the clear poison coming out of your girlfriend’s lips. “I wanted you to get over this whole injury thing, wanted to try and make you happy, but you can’t do anything besides being stingy all the time. But you know what?” She waited a minute before adding “You’re stingy even without the goddamn injury, the team is successful, even without you! I hope you know we don’t actually need you?!” tears prickled at your eyes, begging to be let out, you couldn’t handle it, and they started running down your cheeks.

“Here you go now! Crying like a fucking baby, I’m not putting up with you right now” she barked before turning from you and heading out of the living room.

You sat still in your place like you were frozen, and truly you were, by the coldness Alexia just showed you, you heard her yelling “I’m going for a walk!” Before the front door swung shut. And then it came, you started crying, the tears marching down your cheeks and reaching your neck like a furious army, maybe she was right? She always was wasn’t she? Now you regretted ever mentioning that, but you acted stupid and brought up something that didn’t matter at all, now here you were, crying all alone like a big baby.

You stood up, your legs were shaking, in fact every inch of your body was, you stumbled towards the bedroom, feeling stupid but also cheated, the closet doors opened hastily and your shaky hands reached for every piece that belonged to Alexia, you took her bags from the foyer and threw everything inside…were you in an irrational state of mind? Yeah, probably…

Now everything of hers was in the bag, you glanced at the nightstand, seeing the framed picture of you two, kissing, but you couldn’t stand to see that happy memory right now. The frame was put down so that the photo couldn’t be seen by you and then you took the bags and simply threw them onto the couch, leaving them there for Alexia to see when she gets back. Now you didn’t really know what to do with yourself, finally you slumped on the bed like a picture of misery, left alone with your thoughts only.

Alexia knew she couldn’t stay outside all day even though you irritated her to the core, she just couldn’t understand why you were being so irrational…always acting so difficult, she thought to herself, she stomped down the street, already seeing the peak of the neighbourhood the two of you lived in, dreading seeing you again.

It was kinda weird, she started thinking about it deeply, she loved you, but at the same time you were such a big pain in the ass literally everyday..if only you wanted to cooperate and listen to her more most of your arguments wouldn’t even happen in the first place, you should know that she wasn’t your property, instead of being so damn jealous and giving her your attitude.

The house keys clicked in place and turned the locks to your home, though the home was literally a quiet battlefield lately. She sighed as her feet made contact with the familiar flooring. It was quiet, you were probably sulking in some corner and just didn’t want to greet her or make up for your stupid behaviour, always acting like a child afterwards such moments in your relationship.

The shock she felt when she entered the living room and was met with the sight of her bags atop the couch was immense. For a moment Alexia just started at them in disbelief before rage filled her again, she sauntered over to the bags observing them resentfully, where the hell were you? Cause she wasn’t going to let this go.

Kitchen, bathroom, small storage, balcony, backyard, nowhere. You were nowhere, but there was one place she hadn’t checked, the bedroom. There was no fucking way you just packed her bags and left the house, so you had to be there…

Firmly, her hand grasped the handle of the door, expecting to see you inside, acting like a saint..but the moment she turned it, it didn’t open, it was locked. So you were inside! Alexia angrily turned the handle a couple times more before knocking on the door. “Y/n?” She stated loudly, her tone was very passive aggressive, no answer. Then she just went ballistic and pounded on the door “Y/n! Let me in, god damn it!” Alexia didn’t stop until she heard your much quieter and shaky voice calling to her beyond the door. “I-I’m not letting you in Alexia!” You stated, “What?!” Her brows furrowed before she groaned in fury “This relationship is a fucking joke!” And then she stormed off.

You curled on the bed, thinking about what you’ve done, was this the correct way of handling things? Hell, you wished you knew, but nothing made sense to you now.

Two days, that’s how much time has passed since that ugly argument of yours, you eventually unlocked the bedroom and went out to see Alexia’s face filled with annoyance but she tried to talk to you once she saw you, weirdly calm for the emotions that were pulsating inside her, and in fact, she was the one trying to calm things down between you two, but you felt dumb and were too much of a coward to just accept it, the tension in the ENTIRE house was poisoning…and when you didn’t budge with Alexia’s apologies you two just stopped talking to each other

The insecure thoughts took root in your brain, eventually branching into a full tree with anxious and insecure fruits hanging from its twigs. After all, Alexia was always right about you.

The whole week couldn’t just go on like this. You took the tiny pieces of courage left in you and took them to use them to apologise to her, you kinda treated her like shit..and all for nothing, you did hug your teammates too after all…teammates, friends, family, people just have different ways of showing it.

On the morning of what was supposed to be the third day you finally spoke to Alexia

“Ale…I- I’m just so fucking sorry, okay? That was so stupid of me, I dunno..I guess it was in the heat of the moment- the thing is I love you, I don’t want to lose you. I was an idiot, if you don’t want to then fine, don’t accept this shitty apology but I’m begging you..” by the end of your apology tears were streaming down your cheeks again, as lately you have been crying often when Alexia had no way of seeing you.

You could see the gears turning in her head, trying to decide whether she was going to accept or refuse, she narrowed her eyes at you “Yeah, you were an idiot” then she added “But I guess I’m glad you can see that now, listen I just…” the blonde sighed “Please stop pulling shit like that, sometimes you really are too sensitive” she reprimanded you softly, it felt weird listening to this harsh “truth” about yourself, even weirder knowing that those air quotes weren’t needed because it was the most pristine truth. Then Alexia looked at you with an unsure manner, “I love you too, ok?” She then said, and you nodded, after that she turned to steal a glance at the morning sky.

You sighed to yourself, appreciating the so long awaited moment of calmness.

You should remember to listen to her at all times, even if it hurt slightly.

[caffstrink]

your points about omori are so real but i also think the story isnt even that good like the "twist"... like not only does it not really make sense logistically (puts on my cinemasins goggles for a minute) how did two small kids drag an older girl into the woods to hang her without getting noticed and also why even come to that conclusion instead of making it look like more of an accident in the original scene (takes off my cinemasins goggles sorry about that) but i felt like it was kind of cheapened when it wasnt her killing herself. like he still couldve blamed himself for that because he wasnt there for her and didnt notice the signs but its like no he accidentally pushed her down the stairs. (and then framed it as a suicide which Was indeed actually a bad thing to do so yeah man you should feel a little guilty) but that could just be me being an enjoyer of explorations of suicide and its aftermath in stories

Honestly the twist was the only praiseworthy thing i found in the game and even so it wasn't enough to redeem the whole journey to get there imo. I think my opinion happens to be the opposite of yours bc mari comitting suicide would've been too simple, too expected, whileas sunny accidentally causing her death is what explains the guilt that makes him repress his emotions/identity and choose to live in his imagination. Theres 2 main big issues i have with it though, and since you've given me the opportunity I'll rant about it.

If i remember right at the time of her death mari was 15 while sunny/basil were 11 or 12, so i don't think it would be far-fetched for the two to carry her body together, although hanging her from the tree would be difficult. As for no one noticing i think that's actually pretty normal as far as these cases go, you'd be surprised at how many murders happen in broad daylight in suburban areas where there's neighbors walking outside yet no one notices bc they're not looking at someone's backyard to see some guy burying a dead body (if you watch those murder documentaries you'd be surprised at how common these cases tend to be). Basil trying to frame it as suicide is honestly a very very stupid idea, but considering their age and the situation it does make sense since they were panicking and people have 0 braincells when they're panicking.

The main reason i liked this twist though, may be because of how i perceived the scene where we see mari's hanging body and how it had an eye open, i thought it implied mari could be still alive when they hung her, and the uncertainty of it is what wouldve plagued sunnys psyche for the following years. Idk that was what i thought at least, but i don't recall seeing anyone else point out mari possibly still being alive when she was hung, so it may be just me.

Now here's the rant part. The game subtly implies that sunny's parents knew it wasn't a suicide. And by subtly i mean in a HIDDEN ROOM YOU HAVE TO ACCESS THROUGH ALTERING VALUES IN THE GAME FILES instead of, i don't know, in the annoying dragged out black space horror segment? Anyway in that room you see a shadow of what looks to be Sunnys father chopping down the tree and he says "you're no son of mine" or something along those lines (its been a while so i forgot the exact quote). PLUS its kind of obvious maris body wouldve been taken to be analyzed and theyd for sure see the head trauma that caused her death, but since it was accidental and both sunny and basil were minors, it's likely they went unpunished and Sunny's parents covered up with the suicide story so the others wouldn't think of them as murderers.

Why the hell does the game never mention his parents except on the real world? Its shown they divorced after mari died, did sunny not really care about that? Why does his ugly pastel escapism fantasy not have any mention to them? Did he not feel guilty about the grief he caused his parents? WHY IS IT NOT MENTIONED IN THE GAME AND ONLY IN A HIDDEN ROOM

And the second thing is the reasons that caused the incident in first place, it felt like it couldve been explored much more than it was. Like ok i get it, sunny didnt actually want to play violin, his friends thought he did and he was too afraid to disappoint them when they bought him one. But the main thing he mentions he hates about it in his diary is that he needs to practice on saturdays and misses 1 hour of cartoon watching with his friends. Like man. Come on. Priorities i guess? There wasn't any pressure of someone moving away, or someone leaving for college, or anything like it that would explain why sunny needed that 1 hour of cartoon watching with everyone so badly that it emotionally distressed him to that level.

My second complaint is how Mari is treated like a pure saint through all of the game, which was kind of a missed opportunity to have shown that she also was flawed and not always the kind big sister he idealized her to be in his mind (it could've also been shown that the Saint Mari in his brain is due to his guilt, but no, apparently she was just was like that irl too), the only flaw mari had was that she was perfectionist about the piano recital and pressured sunny about it? Like come on man there could've been more here. We could've had accepting mari was a flawed human as a part of sunnys recovery so he can move on from itn but instead mari is just a perfect angel through all of the game who unfortunately was accidentally killed by her younger brother bc she got upset he broke his violin on purpose like any 15 year old would. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[dimidiom]

okay okay so i watched the new alien movie with my family last night (ive only seen the first movie all the way through and seen a majority of the second one and thats pretty much all ive seen of the franchise SO) and i thought it was pretty good.

BUT, i have opinions on the end of the movie and more specifically the final monster, and ive been rotating ideas in my head all day so i need to get it out so im not just continuously ranting about this to myself. so im putting all of that under a read more cause i have a lot to say and want to avoid spoilers for people who havent seen the movie yet (note i only watched the movie once, and i would be the first to admit i have a bad memory so i might be misremembering things) (and i also cant remember any of their names, and i cant be assed rn to look them up lmao)

(also note, i havent read any of this over,so theres probably spelling errors and me repeating myself. i just needed to get this out of my head)

i havent really seen anyone elses opinion on the final monster guy but tbh,,,, i hated it?? like i understand the whole scary idea of 'it looked human, but something was off' (and thats just a trope i personally dislike for no reason lmao) but i feel like if youre making that be what makes your monster scary, give it a new spin? like, i literally missed the first major scare with that monster because i turned to make a joke to my sibling ('oh its a person!') i hate that the design was just a tall gangly pale human that you cant see the eyes of, because ive feel like thats something thats been done SOOOO many times before and ive gotten desencitised to it

and just,,, that coming after the heavy hitters of the facehuggers and the xenomorph was just a huge let down! (i will admit that showing the tail getting longer in each shot, was pretty cool) having a tall gangly pale man being the main monster just isnt scary anymore,, you could have done something original and something super new and scary. youre showing THAT right after the fucking xenomorph?? as the final monster??? its scary cause its tall and its eyes are shadowed over??

my whole thought was if they just leaned into the horror of pregnancy, it could have been so cool??? or something along those lines??? like take notes from RE8!! the baby!! in the doll ladies house!! that shit was discusting and terrifying and awesome! instead of having the monster be an adult male, have it be a scary babyyyy

or like take notes from the boss lady(?) from the second chapter of fate!! have the movie play out the same way, but have the main character hear the other lady screaming from off screen and then have her rush over, and gasp shes not in the cryopod! and have th mc panic and look around, but then sees her friend, seemingly perfectly fine, holding a baby in her arms.

theres some really cool ideas that come from the idea of the umbilical cord not being cut. like with the idea of the lady seemingly perfectly normal holding her baby, and that (those two combined) being the new monster. your still very human looking friend, and the monster that shes now attached to. thats not your friend anymore.

the horror of the idea of a monster wearing the face of a friend you couldnt save thats now hunting you down. her baby, the idea of which got the both of you so happy and excited just a few hours earlier, (who shes still connected to, still holding in her arms) being the monster that also ended up corrupting her that now is hunting you

or even if you decided that you wanted to keep the tall pale man as your new monster, give it a new introduction!!! imagine the first time we see it. it just failed a stealth attack against the mc because its still attached to the dead weight of its mom that its dragging behind it via the cord. and then we can have a visual scene where we can see the monster evaluate the situation (failed a stealth attack) find the problem (not stealthy, dragging dead weight behind it that i has no control over, no way to make it useful) and then find a solution (cutting the cord itself, or for a more visceral scene, destroying the body). so we can see it thinking and rationalizing and making a plan and following through. (and its casual disregard of humanity. of its own mother)

just like,,, fear of pregnancy, of childbirth, of babies. i feel like babies, as something to be scared of, should be used more in horror. that'd be cool.

or like,,,, change the ending up,,, have the movie do the same kind of twist the first alien movie did. introduce the audience to a character, audience assumes that character is the main character, and then at some point, kill that character and have a new character become the mc!!!!! like keep the final three people alive at the end of the movie, but do a twist where the mc dies and the other lady has to find a way out! have her not inject the prometheus fire thing, but have it be known that she lost time in that ship, so something could have happened to her, and play around with the idea of her having new trauma about having that baby. like dont say anything outright in the movie, but like, have it end with her not knowing what she wants to do now thats shed not fearing for her life. does she now have fears about something alien growing inside of her, fears of something mutating the baby? give her complicated feelings on what she want to do with that baby. like,,, would she even want to go through with giving birth after literally seeing a baby alien burst out of the chest of her friend. complicated feelings of 'maybe she didnt get away from romulus scott free, and somehow her baby was affect by it'

theres a post ive seen floating around tumbr about horror movies reflecting common fears at the time,,, playing around with pregnancy being the main horror in a movie,,,, isnt a bad idea,,,,,

[kurosstuff]

A/N: so here's a donna x reader thing I thought of!! Also the reader is a maiden a head maid to be more exact- made the header with the only pic that DIDN'T come out terribly??? Idk how the fuck to make them?? Its- technically first pov but isnt exactly written that way idk man I'm dumb

Warning(s): blood, angie swears because I say so. Goes into slight depth of a small injury. FEMALE READER, panic attack(s) SPOILERS!! AND ANGST- this isnt a nice fic. It's not even close haha(but I changed some stuff around to make more sense so fuck you♡)

Donna Beneviento x F!reader: Right place. Wrong time

Parties sucked. Being a handmaid was fun and all but the biggest downside is you have to attend these.. events? You weren't entirely sure what they were but Lady Dimitrescu was very clear on you attending to assist her and the other lords during this time

"I swear if it weren't for Mother Miranda" Lady Dimitrescu spat out at the drunken fool-no her brother? You weren't actually sure what he was to her but they acted like siblings. Mother Miranda help anyone who asks- last person who did landed in the cellar "I would have kicked you out." Taking a drag from her cigarette. Leaning down and blowing into his face making the man start yelling as Moreau hide behind the table yet again-unless he wished to be dragged into the fight as well as he usually did during this time

If it weren't for two things happening with you. You'd probably laugh. But with how many villagers there are-the ones who hurt you. Your anxiety was racing. Even worse when the lord-no the women you were very interested in was here as well. The mysterious women dressed in all black as usual, Donna Beneviento and her doll companion, Angie by her side looking around frantically at all the new people. Jumping up and down excitedly

Deep breath...

Deep.. breath..

Turning you started out the door. Thankfully being the head maid you wouldn't exactly get in trouble with an extent of course(also helped the fact the lady and her daughters were well aware of your anxiety and were surprisingly kind about it?). As you moved you were unaware of a pair of painted eyes glancing at you before turning to another

-

The cool breeze in the air calmed you as you roamed around the garden. If it weren't for the weather it would have been such a beautiful sight. Well more then it was. Dispite the chilly air as winter was just rolling around the corner. The indication of it creeping up a bit closer with the speaks of ice and snow arounding around and on the flowers. Personally decorating then with their own weather, the crunch under your feet became louder as you got farther away from everyone

"So this is where you went?" A voice called out behind you, stiffening in response you could only hope for the best as you turned-half expecting one of the sisters, but you knew better then to assume that-if it was they'd have bitten you gently-as they could-before dragging you off somewhere

Turning around your assumption was proven correct. Standing infront of you was a small porcelain doll, odd colors painted on but overall handled with such care-you stared in awe before remembering yourself. Kneeling down a bit infront of the doll you smiled

"Why, hello Lady Angie" you started with a smile-watching the mock of a shock on her face, her mouth a gap more then it was before "would you like something?" Speaking softly to ensure not upsetting the doll if you even could? You weren't sure but you've heard that she had a temper of sorts on her

With a mock scuff Angie threw her hands in the air happily "ooo! 'Lady'? Can't remember the last person to call me that seriously" with a scratchy giggle she bounced around you happily. Almost intrigued with you "and what do I want? Hmm" she stopped infront of you again crossing her wooden arms in thought

"Walk with me"

She spoke suddenly after a moment rushing off you in tow- before her foot caught the long dress of hers. Almost sending her falling if you didn't grab her hoisting her up in your arms suddenly. Standing frozen for a second before placing her down gently

"Sorry Lady Angie." Looking her over you nodding in note of no injuries seen on the poor doll "rude to not ask but I'm glad your alright" before looking around her again to ensure you didn't miss anything.

Angie stood head titled to her side interested, holding her arms up to you she made grabby hands like a toddler would when wanting up. "Pick me up" she ordered with a giggle, kneeling down you gently grabbed her. Picking her up you held her against her hip, almost like a mom holding a baby or a toddler it seemed to be the best choice-her reaction was a happy laugh. Pointing off to a room she nodded her head towards there

"Off we go then Lady Angie" you said, walking to the door across the wintered garden. Opening the room to show the indoor version. After all Bela-the eldest likes to do some research on them every now and again-and some of the gardening things held vegetables for the other maidens to keep them "fresh" as they said.

The greenish room should more of the vibrant colors of the objects then the snowy wind from outside. Catching your attention was the chorus of 'down's' repeatedly from the doll-who in turn was put down on the floor gently. Rushing off she called for you to join her. Following close by you couldn't help but smile at her child like nature-dispite her crazy nature, it was very enduring

Turning the corner you didn't expect to see her maker-the lady of the Beneviento house. Donna Beneviento also the same one who caught your attention from seeing her for the first time. Growing a bit flustered you bowed your head towards her-gaining a snicker from Angie who whispered-or at least seemed like it- to the veiled women. Of what? You weren't sure but it must have been something if she suddenly jolted up almost nervous like

"Hello Lady Beneviento" you responded carefully. It was obvious to anyone who sees the Lady- she seems to not be be used to being social with others, "its nice to meet you, My lady" speaking formally as you've been taught-and reprimanded for repeatedly in the past. Thankfully now it stuck

Nothing but silence filled the room. No talking. No movement even from Angie who just stared at the Lord. Your anxiety crept up even faster now, did you say something wrong?

"..WELL!" Angie suddenly jumping up bringing her wooden hand onto your pant leg pulling you forward- with such strength for such a small doll. "Come on" she tugged again annoyed like a child would if their toy was taken from them

"Give me attention!" Smiling you followed her to the smaller table you've seen before- when you first entered you never knew why the Lady would want such a small table. Now with Angie you knew why. Sitting down infront of the doll you leaned forward awkwardly in the seat

"Thank you Lady Angie" smiling at the doll like child who held a cup of 'tea' flavored air towards you with a cackle and nod-unaware of the gaze on you both from the veiled women who underneath smiled slightly at the sight

After a couple moments of playing tea, Angie's attention was stolen from a butterfly getting up and chasing after it with a yell of- profanities which you could have only assumed she learned from the other Lords. Movement was heard behind you-aware of the other women you pretended not to hear as to not scare her off

A flower crowded your vision for a moment before you took it gently. Fingers grazing across the other women's gently-ignoring the way she flinched away almost like you burned her somehow "thank you Lady Beneviento" you replayed glancing over at the veiled women who moved to sit beside you-almost so still you would has mistaken her for a statue-if not for her breathing hitching softly as a smile crossed your face. You didn't want to scare her off as she finally started to relax around you, slightly but enough

Holding the flower you looked down admiring it with a soft smile- which if you remember correctly Bela-during her studies-called it a Calla lilies. Whatever it was, it was a beautiful flower. While looking at the flower you failed to notice the one who gave it to you watched intently. Almost like she was flustered- but it was hard to talk with her veil to anyone. Anyone but Angie-who giggled behind you. Ditching the Butterfly for the scene before her. It was not only surprising that Lady Beneviento gave it to you but it also confused you as to why. Twirling it in your fingers gently you glanced up to the black veiled women "Thank you Lady Beneviento" smiling before remembering you already thanking the women-you grew slightly embarrassed from the lack of response-unsurpising as it was.

Laughing that scratchy tone-almost like a disk being scratched you drew your attention to the doll clinging to your pant leg once more "oohh~" Angie started in a tease "Donna thinks your pretty~ I can see it I guess" Angie giggled pulling at your pants for attention-if it weren't for what she said you'd compare her to Daniela for her need of almost constant attention

"What?" Was all the response you gave as the veiled women yet again stiffened in response-before abruptly standing up. Looking up at her smiling getting up as well. Angie curling herself around your leg like that of a cat against their scratching post, the Lady before you stopped almost as if debating something before turning and leaving hurriedly. A groan was heard as Angie unwrapped herself from you and chased after Lady Beneviento'

"Aww why can't we keep them?" Was all that you heard before they left the room. A smile grazed your face at the comment. It wouldn't be all that bad to be a maid for the two Ladies. You looked at the flower in your hand unaware of the glowing yellow eyes watching with a knowing smile.

-

A loud call of your name rang through the building loudly- the same way it was usually used for a certain sister. Gulping the lump down you straightened your outfit as best you could to be at least somewhat presentable, the flower safely in the pocket of your front shirt poking out.

Rushing down the hallway hastily while making sure not to make it seem like your running. Getting to the lady of the castle while running from one of her daughters? Yeah not that fun. The memory of the incident where you did accidentally set one of then off thinking you were trying to run away. Rubbing the scar on your wrist shivering at the thought.

Yeah. Not again.

Rounding the corner to the front of the manor your Lady and Lady Beneviento stood almost like they were waiting for something, or someone. A loud snicker brought your attention to Angie who stated up at you, bowing your head at them respectfully-thankfully remember the first rule anyone would know

Rule 1- don't look at any of the Lord's until they gave you some sort of signal(you technically broke it? But they either didnt care or mind)

Lady Dimitrescu placed a single hand on your shoulder sending a tingle of fright and anticipation through you "I will be giving you my own head maid, Donna dear" she started nodding in your direction giving you a odd smile-almost knowing? Of something "to help around your home" with that decided-it was clear she would not be changing her mind. Not that you'd want her to either

"Oo! We get the pretty lady?" Angie giggled loudly making her run around you in circles chanting something along the lines of "Pretty!" And "tea partner" smiling softly at her, Beneviento tensed up in embarrassment at the thought of you in her home. But accepted none the less

Calling out your name as you all got ready to finally leave. You turned to your former Lord "Now" she started giving you a stern look "be on your best behavior. Treat her right." Placing a hand on your arm her nails slowly turning to claws before turning back to normal. Like a warning

-

Entering Beneviento's home you noted how.. homie it really was. Like a normal house minus the dolls around. Some on shelves others on random chests or just sprawled on the floor.

Smiling like a little kid on Christmas you let a small "woah" as you glanced around the Lady of the house watching you intently as you neared one of her dolls, a defensive one who attacked if an unknown/violent person enters in her home on instinct without her command. Nibbling her lip nervously under her veil she hoped you would grow uninterested in the doll.

She was wrong

"This is so cool!" You escalated getting way to close for everyone in the room. The other dolls stared worry surrounding them from their Mothers nerves being shot. The doll sprung to life-a sharp intake from Beneviento, Angie moved to get you away, She slammed her eye shut. Awaiting the scream of pain to come out. The blood. But nothing came. Slowly she opened to see what could only be a silent but swift kill.

Her mouth opened in shock. You held the doll gently in your hands-it didn't even try to harm you just stared curiously at you, "I'm assuming you made this as well m'lady?" With a tilt of your head you sent a smile her way. Shock and disbelief was all she felt-even Angie was stumped about this.

"W.." for the first time since she first learned to talk. Angie was at a lose for words. "Well of course you dummy!" She just as quickly regained her ability. With a nod of your head you placed the doll where it leapt from gently smoothing out its outfit and you moved back. Hands on your hips before turning to face the two once again

"Well I think its cute!" The dolls around the surrounding area chattered excitedly, their mother stood yet again stumped. They obviously liked you-and she had no idea what to do about it.

She ignored the giggle of Angie who stared at her knowingly.

-

That started your new routine.

Everyday you woke up, changed. Accompany Angie around to clean as she entertained(teased) you. Everynow and again one of the Dollmakers dolls that are capable of walking yet have no speak or full will of their own like Angie would pop up and just stare at you. Or follow you. But if you looked at then they'd run off

So that made you have another rule.

Rule 2- if one of her dolls pop up don't look at them depending on who they are, and if you see them politely smile and wave. Do not engage unless they do.

It seemed like almost everyone in the house liked you to some extent. Almost everyone. You knew the Lady Beneviento at least somewhat liked you even during the small times of seeing her.

Yet during the last couple of weeks you barely saw the Lady of the house herself. Just at breakfast through Dinner. When you bring the food in she brought the tea. She refused to let you make it- Angie said something about how that's her favorite thing(and only thing) she cooked. All the other times you assumed she had little to no interest in you.

That all changed when one day you drew her attention to you even more then you unknownly had.

While cutting the bread you glanced up watching Angie as she ran around the small room, in awe about how life like she was, even after the amount of times you've seen it and heard it- she acted like a child- it was heartwarming but it was still a surprise. "Fuck" you hissed moving your hand away from the knife, in your obviousness you accidentally cut your thumb. Some specks of blood. Looking up from the deafening silence Angie was frozen in the middle of the room staring at you mouth agape. As usual you imagined if she was truly alive you wondered if she'd outright laugh

Which she did. And to your horror mimicked you

"Fuck" Angie copied gleefully. 'Oh no' was all you could think of as you rushed to her "FUCK!!" She yelled out louder then the last

"No no Lady Angie please" you attempted to calm her. What if Lady Beneviento heard? Would she be mad? Or find this funny? You were almost scared to find out "don't say that word please" at that she froze before slowly turning her attention to you

If this was anyone else. Like for example the daughters you served at your time in the Dimitrescu castle you'd be dead right about now. That's when it finally settled in. You just gave an order. To one of the lords. And if not the most unpredictable one at that considering how out of the ordinary she is. They all were in their own sense but Angie is arguably a very very unpredictable doll. If you weren't already worried out of your mind, you are now

"Um-" you started before she floated close to your face frozen. It was a couple minutes. Long painful silence. If it weren't for this situation that was happening admiring the work done on the doll would have been something you would have been doing

"Fuck" she giggled making a deep sigh of breath you held in this moment. "Hehe~" laughing that weird laugh of hers rushing off leaving you alone in the living room. Around dolls that seemed to pierce daggers into you much harsher then usual. Like Donna knew what you just taught Angie that. Like she saw

But.. she couldn't have. She's in the basement.. right?

-

That night Angie still said the word and laughed like the 9 year old? You guessed? She was, but never said it infront of her mom. Thank god for that. But.. that didn't last long either

"Motherfucker" was the first thing you heard leaving your room. Looking at the small doll in question who just giggled at your shocked expression "you are a motherfucker" before rushing off laughing

"WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT?" you yelled after Angie who in turn laughed even harder in horror you tried to wrap your mind around it. Did you say that? No. You're 50% sure you didn't say that word yet. At least not here

Standing in the hallway for a moment. Someone was behind you watching frozen not at you telling but at the young dolls profanity. Turning around you saw the one person you hoped wouldn't see or HEAR anything.

"L-Lady Beneviento!" You exclaimed bowing your head down harshly, "sorry about that I don't know where she heard that from" hoping to Mother Miranda she wasn't mad.

Silence.

A ear piercing silence surrounded you both in the hallway before the sound of a chuckle-then a deep soft laugh escaped the veiled women in front of you. Bringing her hand under her veil to probably whip away tears she probably had escape from how hard she laughed. Standing in shock at the scene infront of you-growing flustered before a smile crept on your face.

You could only hope you'd hear that lovely sound again.

"...thank you" a hoarse voice so soft you had to hold your breath to hear it clearly. It was even more apparent that she hardly spoke to anyone if it was that hoarse. But it was still the most beautiful sound you've ever heard. A smile crept up your face as your heart swelled in happiness. "Donna." She interpreted your thoughts making you blink in confusion

"Call me Donna"

-

After a couple of months you and the two Ladies of the house got closer. Angie followed you around like a duck yelling profanities or teasing you about your crush on her mom- that she somehow figured out. Just like now.

"Donna and Y/N sitting in a tree" Angie sang, dancing around the coffee table. Donna sitting next to you drinking a cup of tea under her veil "K-I-S-S-I-N-G" Angie spoke making the veiled women spit the tea out onto the table and the surrounding area.

"ANGIE" You yelled flustered but chuckling at the exaggerated reaction from Donna who was frantically whipping the spilled tea off of herself. Leaning over with a napkin you helped a bit

Silence filled the room when Angie ran out laughing the only slight of sound was the tick from the clock which sat above the door to the living room. Tapping the table you glanced at the time, realizing what the time was you jumped up catching Donna off guard

"Oh! Donna I have to see the Duke" you spoke looking away unaware of frozen panicked state. You hadn't left the house since the day you moved in, so you weren't aware of the jar, unaware of the village's state. Unaware of everything. With a gulp behind the veil the one thing that mostly plagued her mind.

What if you left?

What if you saw what she helped do and left her? Forever?

She couldn't deal with another lose- especially not you. Looking back you smiled at her gently, grabbing her hands gently rubbing the too with the palm of your thumb "I'll be back. I promise. I won't ever leave you or Angie, Donna I swear it"

Taking a deep shaky breath Donna nodded her head. "Alright. Just... don't be gone too long ok?" Donna begged-Hopeing it wouldn't seem too desperate- if it was you'd never comment on it.

"Of course" you promised.

-

The trip to the Duke wasn't easy nor was it too hard, bumps and bruises here and there. But in the end it will be worth it.

"Ah, the young helper from Lady Beneviento's correct?" The Duke spoke allowed rolling out of no where- you'd never figure out how he could do that. Or how the single horse could pull such a big guy either. A large grin appeared on your face

"Duke! Hey what's up?" Going over towards his shop you looked around a bit "it's been a bit quiet hasn't it?" The Duke froze turning towards you looking as you gushed over some of his items. A smile suddenly came onto his face

"Ah yes" he cleared his throat "I believe their planning on some..celebration of some sort for the Lords. And Mother Miranda of course" he concluded

"Ah, that makes sense!" Before you would say anything else something caught your attention. A single flower. A rose. If you could remember from the many books-and studies with Angie it means "Love" pointing to the rose "I would like to buy that one please" you spoke the Duke following your gaze and smiled softly

"Ah, a beautiful rose for a beautiful lord, my dear. Perfect choice" pulling out a couple more then just the single you assumed he'd pick he held them out to you gently, before you could pull your coin pouch out he held a hand to stop. "It's on the house, dear. You don't owe me anything"

"Oh! Well.. thank you Duke" smiling you took the Rose's gently in your hand turning and rushing off, rubbing the scar on your wrist in nervousness. The Duke watched in silence- he could only hope you'd stay safe looking back in his shop at the three statues he concluded- life isn't that fair nor kind to anyone.

-

Holding the flowers tightly so you wouldn't drop them yet gently so it wouldn't break, you smiled gently, today is the day, you were finally going to tell Donna how you felt. How much she meant to you.

Rushing up the trail to the house you couldn't help but shiver, a slightly unnerving shiver-almost cold. Obviously worried about the whole confessing thing. With a rub of your wrist you gulped deeply, biting your lip slightly-Donna would never cast you away for how you felt-she wasn't like that...

Right?

The closer you got to the door as it came into view, the more worried you became, walking around the sprawled out dolls around you took a deep breath and opened the door

"Donna. Angie I'm back!" You called out

Silence

Nothing came back. No quick pitter patter from the wooded feet of Angie sprinting towards you. Gulping down the lump in your throat you clutched the flowers a bit tighter still being mindful of how much strength you put in it.

The doll room! That must be were they are, walking around the couch you started down the hall before you froze everything happened in slow motion. The flowers falling, the white red speaks appearing in your eyes.

"No..."

The scream that pierced out of your throat in horror. Anguish and grief. The bloodied body of Donna laid on the floor Angie beside her. Blood pooled around them, it was obviously Donna's and by the looks of it- it stopped pouring out. Dropping to your knees with a heavy thonk-you ignored the pain in then. The static in your ears as blood rushed from your face. Bringing Donna's head onto your lap. You shook her gently

"Donna" you started tears rushing down harsh against your cheeks-all you saw was the blurrier vison of the women you loved "wake up" you begged shaking her yet again. Trying desperately to ignore the painfully obvious dull in her eye as her veil moved slightly, before you on instinct moved it to cover her whole face.

"Don't leave me" sobbing harshly you brought her closer as you shook. "I" gulping down the sob from your horse throat "I love you, please don't leave me alone"

"Please. Come back"

All you got was silence

Then another scream

[simplysummers]

Hannah and Bea watch Star Wars

A few weeks ago, my bestie @floatyteabag (Hannah) and I (Bea) watched Star Wars: Attack of the Clones together. I, being a lifelong Star Wars nerd and a lover of all things Obi-Wan, somehow managed to rope this awesome human into watching the second sequel with me, keeping in mind she had never seen them before.

This is some of our live commentary, lacking in any context, which I felt needed to be shared with you all. I’m also leaving absolutely no indication as to who said what, to make it even funnier.

“FUCKING HELL WTF THEY BLEW UP ALREADY”

“R2 rolling about, he don’t give a fuck.”

“The face of a man who was WRONG.”

“Imagine R2 but as a hoover/vacuum. Perfection”

“‘He wouldn’t assassinate anyone’ 0-0 bro anyone named Count Dooku ain’t a good bro, bro”

“I don’t trust this man.” “I won’t spoil anything but you really shouldn’t lmao.”

“Captain Tofu?”

“Ooo someone’s in trouble. It’s me, idk why I said that”

“It’s better than my croissant attempt.”

“‘She’s a politician and they’re not to be trusted’ THAT IS THE BEST QUOTE”

“Ew look at the centipedes”

“How is she asleep like that. I would’ve had cramp in my wrist after 5 minutes.”

“HE JUST YEETED HIMSELF OUT OF THE WINDOW.”

“Anakin is me driving.” “Obi-Wan is me in your passenger seat.”

“We’d be a menace to society but that’s their problem, not ours.”

“He fully skydived out of the car.”

“Obi-Wan is so chill. He’s just ‘>_> hate it when he does that’ like he’s done this before??? Aight”

“‘I want to go home and rethink my life’ same babes.”

“Omg Bea that is legit us, me being Anakin, the underage loser.”

“Bestie we ARE Anakin and Obi-Wan.”

“ITS BOBA FETT. No it’s not. YES IT IS. Hmmm.”

“Boba Fettacini.”

“Yoda floating around on the wii fit board.”

“Padme who let you lead a country.”

“WE ARE HANNAKIN AND OBEA-WAN.”

“Rocking up to space McDonalds” “I’d order a milkshake.”

“I stg if I become attached to this Cody dude.” “I’m VERY attached to the clones and it never ends well in Star Wars, so I’m dragging you down with me.”

“Look at the Pixar lamps!”

“He VIOLATED him for no reason!”

“PADME YOU DID NOT JUST SHOOT HIM DOWN WITH NO DEFENCE.”

“All I see are some cotton earbuds”

“So there’s like 50 clones of the same person running around?” “…..much more than 50.”

“Anakin, many things are smooth on that planet and you are NOT one of them.”

“Padme was over it before it had even begun.”

“Absolute kings. They deserve their own show….wait they have their own show….they deserve MORE Then.”

“🎵 the hiiiiiiilllss are aliiiiiiiive 🎵”

“Anakin’s a communist confirmed-“

“OH MY HOLY ITS THE MEME.”

“Yes. Step on Anakin”

“Calm down Harry Potter with your floating Pear.”

“Anakin thinks he’s Shakespeare.”

“An extract from The Prelude: by Anakin Skywalker 🌺”

“I want a jet pack.”

“Ohh kick him!”

“Love how Boba, who is like ten, is just *shooty mcshooty*”

“‘Oh not good’ BABES LET GO”

“Hmmm yes ship is flying away *activates glowstick*” “it’s for the aesthetic.”

“Hey Ani, uh I kinda sold your Mom to some rando but hey we’re still cool right??”

“Boba: hehehehehe 😄”

“‘Get him dad, get him, FIRE’ this isn’t CALL OF DUTY, BOBA.”

“Mothman wannabe.”

“Obi-Wan: I’m an international…superspy. SUPERSPYYYYYY.”

“Why is Tom Jones there?”

“she can’t die! I’m actually crying…..never mind I started laughing at Anakin’s face.”

“Lmao I love how Obi-Wan was talking for a straight minute and R2 was like ‘I’m busy sir, the audacity.’”

“‘It’s all Obi-Wan’s fault!’ Babes Obi-Wan isnt with you.” “Anakin take a chill pill!”

“‘R2 what are you doing here’ that’s fucking rude. Let him be.”

“Poor Jar Jar he just wants to make friends.”

“Don’t speak of Qui-Gon you HOE.”

“Count Dooku, turning on his voice chair: I want you on my team, Obi-Wan.”

“Parliament would be so much better if they floated in those pods.”

“Padme: maybe I can find a diplomatic solution to this.’ Anakin: *grabs glowstick*”

“‘Obtuse’ 3PO HOW DARE YOU.”

“Someone put Padme on total wipeout.”

“‘I want to go home’ ‘what did I do to deserve this’ 3PO is too relatable.”

“Padme chose the wrong day to wear white.”

“‘Obi-Wan’s gonna kill me’ priorities dude”

“‘Good job’ sass king.”

“Obi-Wan- the king of puns.”

“How is Padme not crying.” “Legit. I bang my hip on the bed frame and it’s like almost waterworks.”

“Ahhhhh my kings they are coming.”

“Oooo a purple wand.”

“Jango doing the spiny gun thing. Show off.”

“I know he did NOT just decapitate jango.” “And his son was just 0-0 off to the side.”

“‘I am beside myself.’ I WISH I WAS THIS QUICK.”

“I care too much about the clones I swear to god.”

“I WANT TO BE IN THE POD WITH THE GUN.” “YOU IN THE GUNNERS NEST WOULD BE FERAL.”

“Ooooo hamster wheels.”

“‘PAHDMAHY’”

“Anakin you pleb.”

“If he has a red glowstick you know he’s a bad guy.”

“That clone just wanted an excuse to go home”

“He just straight up lost an arm. Hope he’s not right handed.”

“Bet Yoda’s glowstick is green……BAM.”

“THE CLONE WARS HAS BEGUN BABBYYYYYY.”

“PALPATINE NEEDS TO DO A BETTER JOB AT HIDING HIS CHIN.”

“‘Without the clones it wouldn’t have been a victory’ too fucking right. My boys deserve recognition.”

“The clones carried this.” “The clones carry everything these losers do.”

“MARRIAGE?!????”

“It’s like a Vegas wedding. ✨ spontaneous ✨”

This was genuinely the most fun I’ve had watching a Star Wars movie with anyone. Han’ is hilarious and together we destroyed the movie while ironically loving it. We’ve watched ROTS, up next is Solo. And I actually cannot wait for that trainwreck.

[dailyzzy]

What If- and just hear me out for a second- redbone bojack horseman au.

Deku is Sarah Lynn (his job and giving up on his dreams really fucked him up, he mostly uses drugs as a way to cope with everything happening around him. Bakugou was the one that introduced him to alcohol for the first time when they were kids, bragging to his "friends" about drinking his mothers vodka once and calling Deku a cry baby for not wanting to try, Izuku drank, mostly out of anxiety and ended up getting drunk. Bakugou and his friend dragged him home and said that they found Izuku like that (inko lectured him a lot about It but Izuku couldnt bring himself to snitch) which was the start of his addiction.)

The story could pass through Bakugous pov mostly, still being a murder mistery, but with oh so much more angst. Kirishima gives me Todd vibes, so unfortunely for him Bakugou also isnt that good to him. He always assumes kirishima os an extra and didnt bother learning about his life until It was of interest to him. I think that the betrayal that happened in bojack horseman on the first season wouldve happened back in UA, Kirishima told bakugou about his insecurities (mostly with his quirk) and about this wonderful internship opportunity, Bakugou got scared of kiri leaving him once he made a name for himself and made him fail/miss the Interview (idk If he would Just make fake accounts and Bully kiri online so his anxiety was so high he wouldnt be able to do good or If he would just mix up kiris papers in order for him to miss the Interview).

Aizawa is a mixture of princess Carolyn and basicallly every single person on the show who noticed patterns and behaviors, but didnt do antything, hes an enabler. I woudl say later, when he realizes just how bad his ignorance affected those around him he would probably regret It, but for now him caring for Eri and the fact his students are already adults is the excuse he uses to not confront people. Thats not to say he isnt a good father, just like princess Carolyn he had a hard time adjusting parenting with work (he secretly has always wanted a child of his own, but never thought he would get the chance to have one) and pretends to give his child the childhood he never had.

Bakugou isnt the only 'villain' tho, i think It would be unfair to base the whole au around him or anyone in particular (many actions of bojack and character arcs will be displayed in different characters) Bakugou is a mixture of herb kazzaz and a side of bojack horseman. Shinsou was a dear friend to him (Hitoshi noticed the way he treated people, but never really cared) back in the first year of UA, they were rival-friends sort of deal. Shinsou introduced him to drugs, and a similar situation that happened with kid deku happened with teenage Bakugou, katsuki got caught and basically begged Shinsou to give out his dealers contact, otherwise Bakugou would be assumed to have been dealing and selling the drugs himself (seeing the large amount found back at his dorm room) hitoshi said he would do it, but Aizawa put quite a pression on him to deny anything, and thats exactly what he did. Bakugou was almost expelled and got a big red mark on his curriculum. He did save Kota on the Summer camp, and give quite some good advice.

The Bojack drug would probably be called Dynamight.

Shinsou is basicallly another side of bojack and Diane together (severely depressed, basically) , he has addiction problems (many times pushed people to get involved too) and has a deep self hatred, but still tries his best to be a better person. The problem is, hes still selfish and cynical, mainly the person at fault for Todoroki having had to go through rehab on his early 20's and many times inviting Izuku to do drugs together even though he knows just how bad dekus addiction is. He loves and cares for Eri like a little sister, and genuely tries to help Todoroki, but unfortunely good intentions dont mean good actions. Not to say he doesn't do anything selfless or good, he never pressioned Todoroki after rehab (neither Izuku after he became sober (Bakugou would be the one to lead him to his death)) and gives pretty good advice when hes sober. His biggest dream is to do sonething with his life, to make the world a little bit better. Hes quite intellegent and informed in todays affairs (him and Izuku have plenty of good convos and Todoroki isnt an ignorant fool mainly because of him). He worked on a case that investigated the hero comission and risked his entire career to try to expose a bit of Injustice, even If he wasnt sucefull he was still willing to risk It all for his morals.

Holyhock's arc could go through Todorokis eyes, he never quite forgave his mom and she was much more cruel than in canon, Rei would start showing signs of dementia very early in her life. Endeavor cheated quite a lot and had a illegitamet (idk how to spell) child with a side kick. He became sober ever since rehab and lived quite a good life, even with some shitty actions and shitty people around him. Things started to go down after his mom showed up and only worsened once she had to live with him.

(im kinda tired now so ill write more later.)

Wow, you really thought this through 😳 I'm impressed

And although Redbone characters are not as deep as Bojack's (or maybe not as realistic as Bojack's), some behavioral patterns can be found between these two anyway.

You have good ideas, if you ever write a fic or smth, hmu 👀

[moonlights-inkwell]

Demand an Encore

Jaskier x Reader

Word Count: 6,958

Summary: anon said: hello! i see your requests are open...! could i maybe get a Jaskier x reader where the reader very shyly explains (maybe after an embarrassing moment?) that they are into spanking? and Jaskier indulges them and it is fluffy/smutty? if not, that's okay!! i figured I'd ask. thank you! 💜

A/N: Anon. I literally owe you my life, because Dom! Jaskier now literally lives rent free in my head. A fic from Jaskier's perspective? It shocked me too. Oops. Also. Clapping joke title on a spanking fic? I think I’m way funnier than I am  

Warnings: Smut. Spanking. Oral (female receiving). Clothed sex? Sorta. Discussions of Sadomasochism. Canon complicit violence. A very bad take on Jaskier's perspective.

Title from Wild Blue Yonder

“Oh wank!”  

The expletive draws his eyes from his lute and upwards, to you.  

You’re busy, always busy, swinging that blade about and clashing it noisily into Geralt's. Parry, swipe, dodge, sword fighting is as boring a sport as Jaskier can even imagine, only marginally better than fencing because at least there’s some danger to sword fighting. Paint drying is a more interesting thing to watch, lectures less painful to listen to. Jaskier hates it. Sparring holds no interest to Jaskier, beyond when he tries to describe how sword fighting looks for a new song, but there are no new songs. The monsters have seemingly realised that Geralt is about, and have kept themselves to themselves, and so the well of songs about danger and adventure has dried up- like a brook during a heatwave. There’s no song about battles to be won, and if he plays Toss A Coin once more then he’s quite sure that Geralt will shove his lute up his arse sideways. All he wants is to work on a new melody and the clanging is quite possibly the worst thing he can imagine. The clanging, clanking, crashing of steel on steel is enough to drive him to distraction. All he needs is a new song, but no. He simply must be tormented by the sound of metal hitting metal. Needs must apparently, at least when it comes to sparring. 

He’s sure Geralt is doing this to spite him specifically. Revenge for years upon years of songs and mindless chatter and taunting, wrapped up with the knowledge that the bard would never complain about your training- that your safety is paramount to him, even if it is noisy as all hell and infuriatingly distracting.  

Cornflower blue eyes scan up and take you in, on hands and knees and holding your sword at such an angle to block Geralt’s swipe; face crumpled with effort and concentration while the Witcher above is as stoic looking as ever, bringing his blade down closer and closer until you slide to the ground and roll away from the sword. The buckles of your over-bust drags against the ground and knocks loose two of the buttons of your blouse, revealing an expanse of skin below the clavicle and to the dip in skin between breasts.

He wonders, not for the first time, how you manage to fight in a corset. When he was a lad, a little longer ago now than he’s quite happy to acknowledge, how a girl at a ball had collapsed because her corset was laced too tight and even after fetching a healer, the girl walked awkwardly until he left for Oxenfurt, probably long afterwards too. Yet, you can fight in one, swing that blade around with a relative ease that Jaskier can’t even manage if his trousers are tailored too high in the crotch. It’s strange. Watching you duck and twist, bend and thrust that blade around all while being held in place by tightly laced bones, it’s impressive- like watching someone dance. You aren’t a master swords-man but you’re skilled and it’s nice to watch. The exhilarated grin across your face, panting with heaving chest: it’s beauty. Pure, unadulterated beauty, even with a smear of dirt across your cheek, sweat beading about your forehead and a nick on your arm that’s letting out a small but steady stream of blood trickling down from your upper arm.

“Better.” Geralt says firmly, Jaskier watches as your face breaks into a grin and you just glow. A relaxed, genuine smile that makes you look younger than you are. You've mocked him before for how he just soaks up any validation, but even the slightest praise has your skin all but shining, cheeks flushed and mouth upturned. He understands entirely. Praise, acclaim, acknowledgement, it’s addictive; more so than any ale, any drug. Praise leaves you desperate for more, shaking and craving a next hit, almost insecurely hoping against hope that any second will bring that much needed praise. Bard's are like faeries, they require attention to survive while thriving on the energy people give, And Jaskier has been desperate for attention long before he became a bard.  

Praise from the Witcher is a seldom given gift- one that Jaskier doesn’t think he’s ever been given- but he praises you. Training is important, and Geralt seems to have realised that he’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar, so sparring is when he speaks most, even then it’s minimal though; but he compliments. Your form, your grip, the strength of blows. Praise from the Witcher is a seldom given thing.

Jaskier isn’t jealous.  

He isn’t.  

Jealousy implies that there’s something to be envied, like a possession that he wants. You aren’t a possession, he knows that, and even if you were, you wouldn’t be Geralt’s. His fingers fall from the frets of the lute, sending a sour note that makes him cringe out through the clearing.  

“Gods, Dandy- if that’s a sign of what your new song sounds like then I don’t think I want to hear it!” You call over to him, head tilted as the sword twirls between your fingers. “I thought you were supposed to be a good bard.”

“You wound me, Love. Wound me.”  

“No good bard would write Toss A Coin.” Geralt says, but there’s humour in his voice- well, humour enough for it to be noticeable against Geralt’s signature style of stoicism. Must be a good sort of day, for Geralt to be joking about and complimentary. These sorts of things don’t happen every day.  

“Leave him be, Bully!” You swat at Geralt's side, grinning at Jaskier. “Don't you worry, Dear Heart, I love you- even with this brute insulting you.” It’s as if you don’t even remember that you started the insults, but that smile is enough to keep him quiet. That must be a sign of love, that Jaskier could be quiet for you: he’s never been silent for anyone before, even when he had himself half-convinced that he was in love with every person he's spent more than a night with, he’s never been able to keep quiet for more than a few minutes or so, he’s felt an overwhelming need to fill the silence. It’s pleasant to just bask in atmosphere that comes from being about you.  

The swat at Geralt had not gone unnoticed, even if it took a moment or so for him to strike you. Geralt, facing Jaskier, lifted a hand to thump you on the back, too absorbed by the simple pleasure of retaliation to have perceived two very simple things with those enhanced Witcher senses: that the laces of your boots have come undone, and that you had bent down to tie it.  

Time slows sickeningly, as Jaskier realises what’s about to happen only a second before the SLAP comes through the air at a volume none of you anticipated. Not to the lower back, a spot that while painful is little more than inconvenient when hit, but instead to your arse- angled upwards as you bent to fiddle with the ribbons of your shoes. The white-haired man had wanted something vaguely friendly but still running with undercurrents of the same energy that comes from sparring, but instead he had brought one enormous hand down onto your arse with some force. Unexpected, and completely out of nowhere as it is, it somehow is not the most surprising part.  

The moan is.  

A loud, broken moan- somewhere between pain and pleasure- which Jaskier knows all too well. That sound haunts his dreams. Jaskier would know it blind, dumb and senseless. Your moan, normally reserved for during the nights when his fingers slide inside of you, when his tongue breeches you. It’s weak, beautiful, and oh so very unexpected. Its a noise more beautiful than music, more beautiful than the sound of children’s laughter- always his , finally heard by another. Geralt looks horrified, cat-like eyes wide and filled with something akin to fear, but nothing like the unadulterated horror written across your face; sun-coloured skin turning red with embarrassment, lips parted wide but slowly contorting into a grimace, eyes wide but watering.  

Jaskier forces himself up and towards you, while Geralt steps back, saying your name softly and apologetically,

“I am so sorry-"

“Little Miss-"  

“I'm going to the stream to wash!” You say loudly, side-stepping around Jaskier to make a beeline into the thicket of trees, where a stream was hidden. Without any thought, Jaskier groans and looks up at the Witcher, eyes narrowed into accusatory slits.  

“So much for those Witcher senses of yours.” It’s a ridiculous thing to be annoyed about. Geralt does not have any feelings for you beyond the platonic, and Jaskier knows that, knows full well that Geralt wouldn’t do something like that to you, least of all in front of your lover and a man far too willing to write humiliating songs about Geralt.  

“It was an accident.” All stoicism has returned to Geralt’s voice, despite the still apologetic look written across his features. “She’s going to hate me. She sounded so pained.”  

That almost made the Bard splutter with laughter. Moans like that are many things but not pained, at least not in a way that isn’t seen as pleasurable. Somehow, he manages to keep the laughter down and instead claps a hand to the taller man's shoulder.  

“I doubt she hates you. Missy is a resilient little thing.” He tries to sound comforting, but some humour seeps through, making Geralt turn and squint at him.  

“This isnt funny, Bard.”  

“I’m well aware.” Jaskier nods. “I'm going to check on her though. To make sure she hasn’t drowned herself.”  

“Don’t joke.”  

“I’m not.” He trills as he walks along the step-worn path to the trees.  

The stream is a pathetic little thing really, barely a foot in width and surrounded on all sides by the thickest section of trees which almost blocked out all light. It was easy to believe it was around dusk, but it couldn’t be much later than midday, the shade made it appear so much later than it was. And there was you, hunched over by the reeds and moss, scooping up water and splashing it in your face and onto the gash still trickling blood to try to clean it. Even in spite of the shadows, your flushed cheeks are still clear to him and he stops to take you in.  

He’s had many lovers. Too many to list really, but not one of them holds a candle to you. Every girl before you was perfectly primped and polished, in fine clothes with perfect hair and made up faces, and they were beautiful but artificially so. Made that way by clothes and corsets and cosmetics. You though, you’re something else. Beautiful with the sun in your eyes, unkempt hair and rumpled clothes. Indescribably perfect cast half in fire-light, with bags beneath your eyes and blood across your cheek. Sonnet worthy while drunk and stumbling, singing out of tune to his ever songs. Godly in the dark, mouth open and back arching towards him as you stumble headfirst into climax. He loves you. He loves you, and it’s the first time he thinks he has ever really loved anyone: more than infatuation, more than lust, but actual love. Love that makes his head muddled and heart sore. He doesn’t deserve you. Wants you, needs you, but will never deserve you. Reckless, wild and brilliant you, willing to leave a life behind to fight monsters. A fool. Beautiful little fool, selfless and-

“I can feel you staring at me.”

“Hard not to stare at a goddess. Careful, I hear some gods will drown pretty things like you out of jealousy.”  

“Fool.” You say softly, but there’s a chuckle in your voice so he comes closer to you, stepping behind you to twist your hair away from your throat to press a kiss to the crook of your neck.  

“Your fool.” He breathes out shallowly, letting his chin rest on your shoulder while his arms wind about your waist. “Are you alright, Dear Heart?”  

“Embarrassed, I suppose. My pride will recover though, Dandy.” The lightness of your words combined with your stiff posture makes sure Jaskier knows you’re lying.  

“Little Miss-"

“Geralt must be embarrassed as well. I should have apologised to him before-"

“You moaned.” He cuts you off, making you shut up, stiffening even more. “And you may try to deny it, but I know that noise. I might just be the only person who knows that noise.”

“Jaskier.” It sounds like a warning, but he doesn’t care.  

“If it’s because it was Geralt, I understand.” He says softly, feelings coming out unbidden. “I understand, of course, and I love you but I understand if I’m in the way.”  

“I liked it. Be... being hit. Not Geralt.” You whisper.  

It truly is a day of surprises. Jaskier can feel the grin slip onto his face and his hands move from your stomach to your hips to begin tickling.  

“Is that so?” He asks softly, revelling in your choked-out laughter and how you lean back against him. “My Little Miss wants to be spanked. Well, darling, you should have told me earlier.”  

“I didn’t know it was a thing!” You argue between laughs. Jaskier so often forgets that you were a virgin before he got his hands on you, so of course you hadn’t known. His tickling doesn’t stop as he pulls you backward, rolling you onto the ground and climbing on top of you to continue his assault.  

“Would you like a lesson in masochism, Dear Heart?” He teases, head tilting to the side as he looks down at you.  

“Maso-what?”  

“The pleasures of pain.” He explains, and watches how your face turns pink once more. “Oh, she does!”  

“Stop taunting me!” You argue, thrashing beneath him but not with any intensity.  

“Taunting? Never. I’m just trying to work out if I need to rent two rooms when we next go into town.” He too easily grabs at your arm when you reach up to swat at Jaskier. “For your lessons, I mean.”  

“You... weren't joking?” You ask lightly and he shakes his head.

“I never joke about teaching My Muse about what brings her pleasure.” He says lightly, climbing off of you to sit by your side. “If you want me to.”  

“You Wouldn’t mind?” You ask incredulously, drawing out a chuckle from the bard.  

“Darling-heart, don’t be a fool, of course I wouldn’t. You know how I like pleasing you, and having you know what pleases you pleases me. Besides, it’s hardly my first dalliance into sadomasochism; there was a countess I used to know who couldn’t achieve orgasm unless tied up, with wax melted on her and at least three people watching her-"  

“Jaskier.” You say softly, and he stops.  

“Sorry. What I mean is, liking someone slapping your perfect bottom isn’t something to be embarrassed by, darling. Alright?”  

“Alright. Thank you, Jaskier.”  

“No need to thank me, Dear Heart.”  

It takes weeks for Jaskier's plan to come to fruition. Weeks of traveling and camping in the woods until the three of you are able to find a town in need of a Witcher and his services. It’s a simple job, just a few drowners, but the pay is good and there is a very decent inn more than willing to accommodate all of you, and with two rooms none the less- which is far easier to negotiate while the two of you are off to do what you do. The inn-keep is a pleasant, portly man in his middle forties who seems to appreciate Jaskier's way with words, and is more than willing to forgo payment on the rooms in return for a show- and who is Jaskier to disagree with a deal such as that?  

His friendly demeanour is welcome too, means the Bard actually has someone to talk to while he awaits your return- but that plan dies a death when the job takes significantly longer than he expects. Normally, it only takes a few hours for something like this, but the sun is set and his songs just coming to an end when you finally return.  

The crowds, cider-drunk and rowdy had sang along to every song they knew, and sang over these they didn't- but that was fine. Drinking songs were always nice to hear, but their song dies when the door to the inn-cum-tavern opens and you pad in, followed closely by Geralt. Both drenched from tip to toe and scowling, hair stringy and clothes dark with saturation. That explains a fair bit and even with how upset you look, Jaskier grins, grip on the lute loosening and stage persona rolling off of him. Wet and angry as the two of you are, the sight of you is enough to make the crowd let out a loud, drunken cheer before beginning an enthusiastic if out of tune rendition of Toss a Coin. For once, the Bard is uninterested in joining in and instead opens his arms wide for you, it takes less than a minute for you to run to him and wind your arms around his middle while the people mill around Geralt to interrogate him about monsters and the like. Jaskier sighs and presses a kiss to your forehead.  

“You had me worried.”  

“Almost drowned. But I’m fine.” You say apologetically against his jerkin. “Tired though.”  

“I’ve booked our room. And I think my performance is over.” He says soothing, fingers carding through your wet hair. “Come on, Darling-heart.” He offers a hand, though it takes you a moment or so to reluctantly pull back from him you take it and follow him up to your rented room.  

The room is tiny, little more than a box room with just a bed and small table but it’s clean and that is more than enough for you. Before even a minute can pass, you release Jaskier's hand to flop down onto the bed, moaning when you sink down into the mattress.  

“Comfortable?” He asks playfully and you hum in agreement.  

“I got you wet.” You reply after a minute and Jaskier chuckles.  

“I don’t mind, now wait here. I’ve something to sort out for you.” The door clicks as he slips out of the room and you’re alone in the room, just you and the tingling sensation running through your body and making your brain feel as if a mist has descended over it, yet you don’t even realise it until the door opens once more and you lift your head up to look at the noise. It’s a girl, looking about fourteen or so, carrying two large buckets to the archway across from the bed which you had not even noticed, and in your drunken haze you consider why she would be taking buckets to another room through yours. Jaskier follows after her, buckets hanging from each hand and you notice how steam is billowing from the buckets until he disappears beyond the doorway. Confusion comforts your mouth into a frown, so instead of giving it much thought you let yourself sink back into the mattress, deciding it not worthy of a second thought. Water crashing against water echoes from the other room as your eyelids grow heavy and slip shut. Someone had told you once that the sound of water is enough to drive even an insomniac to sleep, you believe them in this moment, the sound of water is so relaxing to your dazed mind that you don’t question why you can hear it at all, so you simply shut your eyes and listen. You have no idea how long you lay there, listening and breathing, it could be seconds or millennia.

“Are you awake, Dear Heart?”  

“hmm?”  

“Come on, I ordered you a bath, you need it.” A bath. You smile and he grins at you. “Now, darling. Come along. You'll soak the sheets through.”  

“I'll soak you through.” You retort tiredly, rolling off of the bed and toeing off your boots before following him into the bath's room. He watches as you walk through and is upon you within seconds, unlacing your corset and unlacing your chemise before you can move your fingers to do it for yourself. “Julian, I know you find me attractive but stripping me?”

“I don’t want you dying of cold.” He chides playfully, kissing the exposed akin of your shoulder as he pulls off the blouse. “Forgive me for loving you.”  

“I love you.” You say softly and untie your trousers, pulling them and your underwear off in a single movement. He smiles at the sight and presses a hand to your lower back once you step out of the sopping fabric.  

“I know, muse. Now in.” He says encouraging you into the bath, turning to fiddle with a few vials of scented oils. “Rose, Lavender or honeysuckle?”  

“Lavender. It smells like you.” You say softly and sink into the water, letting out a loud moan when the heat overtakes you. He turns back to you with a smile and pours a little of the oil into the water.  

“Oh, you like the smell of me?” He teases and moves around towards you.  

“Of course, I do.”  

He smiles at that and sinks down to his knees behind the tub at your back and picks up a rag, soaking it in the water and then moving it up to rub at your shoulders and the knobbles of your spine. The sweet floral smell is carried on the steam coming from the water, sweet and familiar and made all the better by the contented noises that come from you. He likes you like this, all pliant and sleepy and willing to let him help without complaint, it makes him feel useful in ways he never can on hunts. You shoulder so much, act so brave and mature and it’s so nice to see you just let him take control and look after you. He hums a little tune as he washes your back and feels your back move as you chuckle.  

“Tickles.” You say, giggly and more awake than before. “What song is that?”  

“It’s something my mother used to sing.” He says gently, scooping up some water with his hands and pouring it over your head before working out some of the tangles in your hair. “I don’t think it has a name.”  

“It’s pretty.” You hum, head tilting into his hands like a kitten. “Why aren’t you in here with me?”  

“I got the bath to warm you up, Silly Little Miss. I’m warm.” He says with a sigh and pressing a kiss to the nape of your neck.  

“I want to touch you." You whine, twisting around to face him.  

“There's time for that later, Dear Heart. “ He shakes his head affectionately and kisses the tip of your nose. “I have plans for you tonight.”  

“Oh?” You ask, leaning up on your knees and allowing your breasts to lean against the lip of the tub. It’s a trick, trying to lure him in, and he knows it, but gods above it’s tempting. Far too much willpower is exerted to not reach out and take them into his hands. A siren, sent to toy with his heart and mind. He sighs and leans in to kiss you gently.  

“You remember a few weeks ago? When Geralt slap-"  

“Yes!” You interrupt quickly and he rolls his eyes, reaching up to smooth your hair down.  

“And you said you liked the feeling?”  

“I remember, Jaskier.”  

He smiles and rubs his thumb across your cupid’s bow.  

“Well. We have the room to ourselves, so I thought that we could experiment with that."

You blink at him owlishly before squinting at him. It would almost be enough to worry him, but he knows you too well to think you’re angry- you’re confused, but still very relaxed.  

“Experiment.”  

“Yes.”

“With you... hitting me.”  

“With you letting me dominate you, spank you, and make you feel good.” He clarifies. It sounds foolish, and far too perverse when laid out so candidly to someone not well versed with this. You nod sagely.

“...And if I ask you to stop them you will.”  

“Of course I will.” He says seriously and rests his hands on your shoulders, leaning in so you are eye to eye. “This is for your enjoyment, if you say stop, this stops. Just like always.” You smile and close the gap between his lips and your own. It’s soft and lazy, with no indication of proceeding any further than just chastely kissing, his hands still on your shoulders and your hands creeping up into his hair. It’s perfect, always is, and not for the first time, Jaskier considers that he could spend the rest of forever just kissing you and never be bored. Still, all too soon he pulls away, fetching a towel while you heave yourself out of the tub waiting for the bard and the towel. Even though you reach for it, Jaskier ignores your outstretched arms and instead swaddles you in it himself, drying you.  

“I can do it myself!”

“You can, but you won't.” He says firmly, rubbing your skin. Beneath the soft fabric, he can feel you start to struggle which makes him hum and swat at your arse. It’s not enough to hurt, especially through the towel, but it serves as a good warning for who is in charge tonight. Dominance is nothing new for him, but he isn’t dominant with you. You were a virgin when he met you, all sex had to be approached with kid-gloved hands, even now that you are confident with it Jaskier has never felt any need to try and guide you towards that sort of thing. Submission, he had assumed, would be a difficult thing for you; you spend so much time fighting and fending for yourself during fights, asking you to hand over control never seemed to be a good idea. Control keeps you safe but you trust him. Trust him enough to give him control. It’s enough to rush to his head, that level of trust. Of course, it’s flattering when anyone allows him control, but it means so much more when someone who loves him, someone who is so dangerous would allow themselves to be vulnerable. He loves you, has since the second he clapped eyes on you, but this is more than love now, this is adoration. “Now, be a good girl and don’t argue.” Seldom does Jaskier have a need to be stern, so you doing as he says is to be expected. You go limp, eyes wide as he towels you dry. “There’s my good Little Miss.” He says once he finishes, folding the cloth while you stand stock still, pupils blown wide.  

“Good.” You repeat back to him, starry-eyed and blushing, so he presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth before nodding.  

“Well, you are my Good Little Miss, aren’t you?” He asks gently, watching the enthusiastic nod he gets in response with a smile. “I know.” He says with an air of finality, turning away from you and heading back into the bedchambers to sit on the bed. It takes a few seconds of silent sitting for you to finally walk to the doorway. You’re naked as the day you were born, wet hair hanging in snakelike tendrils around your face, skin glowing gold from the warm light of the fire reflecting off of the still damp flesh. You’re beautiful. Too beautiful, comfortable in your skin and his looking at you, pale criss-crossing of scars running across the planes of your body like gold holding formerly broken ceramics together. How Jaskier has ever gotten a chance to lay his hands on you is beyond him, why a bard such as himself can even look at you, never mind touch or kiss you. A goddess, battle-hardened and wise, intoxicating and intense but oh so soft and kind.

“You’re staring.” You laugh, leaning against the door frame and smiling at him.  

“Yes. Yes I am.” Jaskier says simply and beckons you closer, which you do with a slight swing of your hips that he is entirely sure isn’t purposeful. You settle beside him, looking at him with a look somewhere between reverence and fear- like he's simultaneously the most beautiful and awful thing you’ve ever seen. He hates how much he likes it, the power it feels like he possesses in this moment. You look so small and defenceless, and he is too aware of how large he is by comparison. Usually, Jaskier feels slight- especially in comparison to Geralt and his hulking mass of muscle and manliness- but he’s suddenly far more aware of how big his hands are compared to your own, how he almost dwarfs you in height. You aren’t dainty, and he knows how much damage you can do with little to no effort, but you look so now.  

You lean in to him slowly and tilt your head, taking him in before smiling with a raised eyebrow. Well? Your face seems to scream. I'm waiting. It’s all the encouragement he needs to put his hand between your shoulder blades and push your torso over his lap unceremoniously. Every jutting bone, every knobble of spine, outline of rib exposed when you let out a noise of mild confusion, but rest there with your stomach over his thighs. His fingertips, calloused from lute strings but still soft from the warm water, trail down your back slowly; his skin is colder than yours, leaving goose pimples in his wake as he moves towards the rounded flesh of your arse.  

Pink and pert, the flesh juts out from the dip at the base of your spine, like a peach. Jaskier loves it. Loves all arses really. There is something so strangely enticing about them, likely the fact they’re so often covered that seeing them seems taboo in a way that seeing tits isn’t. Every inch of your skin that he gets to see is a luxury not afforded to others, and while his hands finally reach the plump skin, he had been moving towards he kisses your back, gripping one cheek firmly while rubbing soft circles into the other. A moan, airy and musical comes from you spurring Jaskier in his ministrations: shifting the cheek to the side, revealing a hole he had never paid much mind to at all, only to release his hold and watch as it bounces back into place. The jiggle is hypnotic, he thinks to himself wordlessly as he repeats the act on the opposite cheek, earning another moan from you in response.  

“Jask.” You whine out and he hums in confirmation, feeling you push yourself back against his hand. “Don't tease.” He chuckles. Teasing is hardly what he'd call it. No, this is isn’t teasing, teasing is something gentler than this. This is preparation. He can hardly just start spanking you, especially when you've never done it before, but the whining makes him smirk. “Jask, if you don’t hurry, I’ll go to bed.” You insist and try to push yourself off of him, so he presses down on the middle of your back and brings his hand down on your arse harshly.  

The sharp sound of skin-on-skin rings through the air, followed by a gasp. A tingle ran across his palm, and he snicks at the sensation.  

“I thought you were my good girl, not a brat, Missy.” He says, voice low and on the verge of a growl. “I told you, I am in control tonight. Not you.”  

Brat. You shiver at that, going still, and he smirks, grabbing the cheek he had just struck before tugging at it. He releases it before sliding his hand up your thigh.  

“I. I can be good.” You whisper meekly. That isn’t enough though and he swats at the cheek once more, lighter this time.  

“You will be good.” He corrects you, leaning in close to your ear and catching sight of your red cheeks and misty eyes. “I know you will be, won’t you Darling?” You nod quickly and he smirks. “That's my Princess.”  

At that, your posture loosens and you relax against him. Praise. That’s good to know. Lazily, he rubs a circle against the curve of skin before striking it once more.  

“I'm going to hit you ten times, and I want you to count them out loud for me. Can you do that for me?” He asks gently and you nod instantly. “I need you to use your words, Darling.”  

“I. I can do that.” You say, tilting your head to look at him with a sweet smile. Jaskier smiles back at you, then brings his hand back down with a hard slap.  

“One!” You say loudly, jolting forward and dragging your stomach across his crotch. He’s been so invested in planning and preparing that he hasn’t even noticed the hardness developing between his legs until it’s rubbed against. The moans from the bath had been enough to make him half hard, but seeing you like this, lips parted and the skin of your bottom turning an inviting shade of pink, it’s enough to have him fully hard.  

“Two!” You shout out after his hand lands hard against your rear before two more swats come in quick succession.  

“Three! Four!” The numbers are more moans than words, loud and needy. In the back of his mind, Jaskier wonders if the drunks downstairs are still singing and making noise, shouting and swearing, or if they too can hear the moans of pleasure. It’s sick, but he wants them to hear. Wants them to hear the pretty song that you’re moaning out, to look at you in the morning as you shift uncomfortably in your seat and know how you loved every second of it, see him smirk and know exactly who drew every noise from you.  

He’s a bard. He knows how to make noises, but these might just be the prettiest ones yet. A hand rubs at the pinking skin and then, quickly as it comes it's gone and brought down, this time to the space where arse meets thigh.

“Five!”  

He could listen to you moan all day. Sex, or at least sex while travelling, is normally a quiet affair. Quiet murmurs of affirmation, whispered begs and pleas, it’s not enough. Jaskier loves sex, loves the intimacy that comes from being as close to someone as humanly possible, but more so than the enjoyment of sex, Jaskier loves the theatrics of sex. Sex is like performing. Doing all possible to please an enthusiastic audience, listening to the sounds of enjoyment as it builds and crescendos, fingers moving faster, doing his best to not make a fool of himself.  

“Six!”  

Slap!

“Seven!”  

He can’t help himself from hoping that this won't be a one-time occurrence. For a few stolen moments you can hand over control to him and give the both of you what you need.  

“Eight!” Your stomach rubs against his cock once more and he chokes back a moan. You'll be the death of him. Ruin him entirely. It isn’t enough that he loves you, isn’t enough that you are the most beautiful person he could dream up, no you have to do things like this. Unintentionally ideal. Perfection given human form.  

“Nine!”  

His hand comes down one final time and you scream out a broken, “Ten!”, and Jaskier heaves out a sigh, rubbing the red skin as gently as he can to soothe you when you begin to tremble. Calloused fingertips slide softly across the abused flesh.  

“Oh Darling. My good girl. My good, brave little miss.” He coos sweetly, gently guiding you up to sit on his lap, one hand still running the skin while the other threads itself in the hair at the nape of your neck. “You did so well.” Gently, he presses his forehead against your own, staring into tear filled eyes. “Oh, Dear Heart, did you not like it?” Worry washes over him suddenly. He should have reminded you that you could say no once more, that he wouldn’t be disappointed.  

“Kiss me.” You breathe back against his lips and he sighs softly, hand shifting to your jaw to tug you into a chaste kiss. You tremble against his lap, but kiss back far more forcefully than he had kissed you. Gentle but seeking, tongue pushing between his lips to make its way into his mouth. He smirks slightly, but doesn’t open his mouth, feeling you rock against his lap- sweet nectar between your legs dripping through the fabric of his trousers while shaking fingers toy with the lacing of his doublet.  

“Darling-"  

“You're wearing far too much.” You whine pulling back to stare at him. “Take it off.”  

“Take what off?”  

“Everything.” One word has never held so much weight. He could look at you like this for always, so soft and desperate and wanting- it makes his heart beat faster and his cock jumps against the heat of your core. He wants to strip himself, rid himself of the offensive articles and just let you take from him all that he has, but he holds your jaw gently instead, using the warm skin as a means to ground himself once more.  

“Ask nicely.”  

“Jaskier.” You say with a slight scowl, but he narrows his eyes and tilts his head, trying not to laugh at your intent look. “Please. Please strip.”  

“I think you can ask nicer than that, Dear Heart.”  

“Julian, please take off your clothes. Please.” You ask softly and trail your hands along the chemise beneath his half-unlaced jerkin. “Please, Dandy? I want to touch you- can I?”  

The pet name brings a soft smile to his face, hands moving to your hips to shift you onto the bed before undoing the rest of his jacket and shucking it off, to toss it to the side. Ducking down, he peppers a few feverish kisses to your thighs, toying with the ties of his chemise while you tug it over his head. Needy and half frenzied is unlike you, but he can’t say that it isn’t perfection. Shy, unsure sex has been too common, the occasional rushed shag when you two can spare a few seconds less frequent, but this magically manic need is sweet. Jaskier is a performer; performers preen under the watchful eye of attentive audience, need the knowledge of a job well done, which he normally gets from you in the form of moans and frantic rutting. This enthusiasm is perfection, especially while his face is so close to your cunt that he can smell the arousal dripping from it.

Nudity can wait, The Bard smirks, grips your thighs in a vice-like grip and widens the distance between them so he can get his mouth on your sex, tongue gathering slick and relishing that sweet, musky taste. Sweeter than any fruit, more addictive than any wine. Jaskier’s lips find your clit, that bud of nerves that might as well contain every breathless moan that you can fit in your body, and sucks, tongue flicking across it with the moans and curses that such an act wrings from you. Nose buried in the curls that cover your mount, cornflower eyes look up to take you in, writhing in ecstasy, breasts quivering with every stuttered breath. He knew that he had missed something while spanking you’d but it falls into place now. Your face.

Every emotion flit across it, as clear to read as sheet music to him. You have an expressive face at the best of times, but it only seems heightened by sex. He knows many men prefer not to face their lovers and, hell, in his more adventurous days had preferred it himself, but seeing how you feel written across your features is part of the joy of sex. It had taken a while to convince you to stop silencing yourself during intimacy, that those moans are his and hard earned, but those expressions mean even more. Miniscule twitches of the brows and lips that let him know that you enjoy what he is doing, he loves them. Loves you. Those noises are meaningless without that face, pink and contorted with pleasure. That face. He could stare at it all day.

He doesn’t miss Lettenhove, not for a minute, but he does miss paintings. Portraits, moments trapped in time, forever perfect. He wants a painting of moments like this; nothing pornographic, just your face, with not a care for anything but pleasure. To see him through those nights when hunting takes too long and he's long asleep by the time you return. A little painting to have with him always.  

“Jaskier-" You whimper, fingers curled into his hair and tugging. “Please. Please.”  

He hums softly and slaps your thigh, revelling in the sweet little gasp that comes from you before a gush of fluid hits his lips. The Bard pulls back and blinks in shock. You’re shaking, twisting in the blankets as he just breathes you in. Squirted. You just squirted on him. He was half convinced that such a thing was just A rumour but... you did it.  

Blinking rapidly, Jaskier stares up at you awestruck and starry-eyed, trying desperately not to spill into his trousers.  

Oh yes. This is going to be a regular occurrence.  

[breitzbachbea]

📒💖

Emi, I'm kissing you on the mouth right now, you're so sexy. In general but also for taking the bait.

Put “📓” or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I’ll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven’t written but daydream about.

The Constantinople AU

This AU is from 2017 and came about because I watched a TED-ED video about Constantinople's walls, relistened to the Aladdin soundtrack and because I had earlier talked with a friend about how I had not really seen people make a genie a woman. I came back years later to explain it to my friend Jonah and add new stuff and this year I showed it to @amber-isnt-a-precious-stone to add even more things. It's one of my favourite AUs for sure.

Dramatis Personae:

- Herakles Karpuzi (APH Greece) as Son of the Roman emperor and heir to the throne - Sadık Adnan (APH Turkey) as Soldier in the Ottoman army and Imposter Prince - Dilan Taş (Human OC) as Jinn and Sadık's unsuccessful wingwoman - Athanasios Karpuzi (Human OC) as the Roman emperor and serial skirtchaser - Salvatore Vento (Human OC) as Advisor to the emperor and Fuckface McBadDad - Michele Vento (APH Sicily) as Herakles' childhood friend

The Happenings™:

- It's set in Constantinople in an alternate Universe, close to ours. It’s the late High Middle Age/Early Late Middle Age (depending on how you want to periodize. I am working with how the German Middle Ages are divided, which is arguably a very bad method for classifying Byzantine. But this is my silly Hetalia AU, not my term paper). Around 1300, I’d say.

- Athansios Karpuzi is the current Roman Emperor, which makes Herakles the heir to the throne. Athanasios is desperately trying to wed his son off to any available suitors to form new alliances, but two things keep getting into the way: 1. Herakles is thoroughly uninterested in playing along with Athanasios’ plans. He’s not a chess piece on his father’s board if he's got anything to say about it. 2. Salvatore Vento is Athanasios’ closest consultant and protests any marriage for whatever reason he can find. For the sole reason that he has been eyeing the throne for himself the entire time and wants to marry his own son, Michele, to Herakles.

- Like in my Hetalia AU "Like Father Like Son", Salvatore and Athanasios trust each other as far as they can throw one another. There is no genuine trust here at all, no sympathy, really, they just stick together because they know the other is useful. Have some assorted banter as result of this:

Salvatore: "Immortal what a name! What a title to bear! Although immoral would have fit you much better." [Athanasios’ etymology is “immortal”]

S: "Maybe you wouldn't have to struggle to find a suitable bride for your son if you stopped dragging every young woman within and from outside Constantinople to bed." Athanasios: "He's into guys too, problem solved." S: "Oh, yeah, me dumbass thought you needed stop whoring around, how silly of me."

A: "If he is into anything at all. But if I have another child, they might keep this empire going." S: "No legitimation to the lineage's claim to power like a gay loner and a bastard child." A: "Ah yes, I hired the man whose wife ran away with his son so he could berate me about family life. How I value your opinion, Salvatore." S: "She didn't run away." A: "No, she just hides and sends you people until she can get her divorce. I'm very inclined to give it to her."

S: "They're childhood friends! They'd make a great couple!" A: "All I can hear is what a great emperor you'd make, ruling on my corpse."

- So. Herakles is staunchly resisting any marriage to anyone and minding his business one day, walking along the great walls of Constantinople. He stops to look out into the surrounding area and suddenly, hears a noise. Confused, he looks down and sees someone scaling the wall. Sadık looks up and sees the most beautiful man he has ever seen … spotting him trying to get into the city.

- Sadık is part of the Ottoman Turks, who’re conquering the area around Constantinople these days. He’s some nobody in the army and thought he’d give it a shot and get into the city by himself to earn some fame (and money).

- Herakles is seriously impressed Sadık managed to actually almost scale the famously impenetrable walls of the city. Not impressed enough to actually let him in. So these two banter a bit, Sadık now distracted by this hunk in front of his nose. Herakles correctly assesses that he’s a Turk and says of himself that he’s the emperor’s son. Sadık: “Hey, hot stuff, if that’s true and it’s so impressive, why don’t you let me in as a reward?” Herakles: “Yes, of course. And then I’ll open the gates for the rest of your people, so that you can just walk in and take the city. What impossible thing do you want to happen next, a kiss on the mouth?” Sadık: “What’s so impossible about that?”

- Either way, Herakles threatens to sick the guards on him, which leads to a “Oh no you wouldn’t” - Herakles grins and definitely would, so Sadık has to retreat. (#Don’tSickTheGuardsOnMyAssYou’reSoSexyAhaha).

- He goes back to camp, having gained nothing but a crush. He gets in real trouble for rummaging around the booty, where he finds an oil lamp and WOULDN’T YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. Dilan, a Jinn, pops out and Sadık uses his first wish to get out of trouble. Once that is done and the two have a moment of peace, he's thinking about what to do next and his mind circles back to Herakles.

- Dilan: "Ah yes, they always want something with love ... so who struck you and what's the problem?" Sadık: "Well ... I don't really know if it's true but he said he was the son of the emperor. He certainly looked the part! And I didn't really want to wait for him to call the guards to confirm it." Dilan: "Wait ... so you want to get with the son of the Roman emperor?" Sadık: "If that handsome little shit didn't lie to me, then yes." Dilan: "Isn't that a little out of your ballpark?" Sadık: "What, is it out of yours? Can't help me in that case, magic lady?" Dilan: "Psht, don't make me laugh! I can make the impossible happen, just tell me what you need." Sadık: "I dunno ... I guess getting inside the city?" Dilan: "That's it? That's all you need? That's less than a no-brainer -" Sadık: "Oh yeah, if it's so easy then, save that second wish for later. I got past one of the walls already once, I'll figure that out without your magic." Dilan: "Alright, alright ... and what about the wooing of your sweetheart?" Sadık: "That we'll see to once we're there ..."

- Dilan and Sadık chitchat while they make it to Constantinople. Dilan spends some time in the lamp, because walking is boring, but she does tell him that she's pretty sick of being in there. So that's where Sadık learns about her wishing to be free. Dilan in turn learns that Sadık doesn't have such a rosy life either (especially because now he can't return to the army, after he basically deserted).

- So they get to Constantinople and decide to actually factcheck if they got the right guy - and if yes, some general information about the emperor's son. Luckily enough, a friendly trader/tradesman tells them a bit about the city and the imperial family. Dilan: "So, did you by any chance ever see the emperor's son?" Trader: "Oh, well, that's an odd question, isn't it? But since you don't seem to be from here, I can understand the curiosity. Well, let me think ... You often see him only from afar ... during a triumph where he had accompanied his father during the campaign I got to see him up close. What a regal figure there at the head of the troops!" Sadık is too lost in the vision of his crush all decked out in military gear on a horse. And then taking all that gear off and being a regal figure while he fucks Sadık into the sheets … Dilan: "Yeah, yeah, yadda yadda, we need something more concrete. Height, hairstyle, haircolour, what does the dude look like?" The trader/tradesman is a little baffled but does provide a description that lines up with who Sadık saw. So with that information, they start to wonder how to woo a future emperor.

- Luckily, now that the trader/tradesman thinks they're here for imperial gossip, he actually mentions the fact that Emperor Athanasios hopes for his son to follow his footsteps and is currently looking for a suitable match, so that Herakles can be of political use even while he's still in charge. So Dilan and Sadık get an idea how to get into the city and Herakles heart. Or his pants. Milestones are still up for negotiation.

- After the grand entrance happened, where Herakles definitely took offense at either "Heard your prince was a sight lovely to see" or "Heard your prince was hot, where is he?" because either question was accompanied by Sadık's flirty looks, Athanasios actually lets Sadık and Dilan into the palace. There he and Salvatore discuss the entire thing, aka if whoever Sadık pretends to be is a good match.

- While they talk political stuff and snark, because of course Salvatore is against it, Sadık continues to feel very smug in his new princely identity and makes flirty eyes at Herakles. Herakles is just like "ugh" and much more happily plays with his cats. Which tbh sounds like they're 16 or something, but they're not that much younger than in canon (I think they'd be 22 and 24 here).

- Hijinks ensue. Herakles tells his dad that he’s a Turkish soldier that tried to sneak into the city and Athanasios doesn’t believe him, thinking Herakles is now lying badly to not get married. Dilan and Sadık are developing a friendship that is best described as hoes being bros.

- Dilan: "Look, you like cats. Cats are furry. Hairy, if you will. You know who else is hairy? Sadık. He's juuust as hairy as a cat - shhhht, I'm wingmanning for you and it's working great, you can thank me later."

- At first, Dilan mostly employs her magic for some silly little things with Sadık to woo Herakles. It doesn't work very well. Herakles: "I know it's magic, that's not impressing me - Okay, it is kinda cool, but you're still a dick." Dilan: "But a dick with a cool sidekick, come ON! What else do you want me to do to make the nerd viable?!" Sadık: "You call that wingmanning?!"

- Once Dilan realizes dickbags Athanasios and Salvatore are, she also uses little magic tricks to continously make their lives worse. Ironically, this may be what finally endears her and Sadık to Herakles. (If you haven't noticed, he doesn't like his father very much and Athanasios doesn't care for him aside from being a political pawn).

- At one point, Michele shows up at court! Herakles is overjoyed to see his childhood friend, which he hadn’t seen in years! Sadık is absolutely not, because it looks like just when he and Herakles almost had something, this twat shows up and steals the show!

- Dilan: "Well, I can't make him not love this dude, but I could beat the dude up." Sadık: " ... keep that in mind."

- However, when Dilan goes to investigate what Michele is doing here (and wingwomanning again), this ensues: Dilan: "Hey brah, what's up, why so blue looking? Is it because your boo just told you you ain't his number one anymore?" Michele: "I, eh ... no ... May I ask who you are?" Dilan: "Just one of the servants of the insanely charming and powerful - and hairy - Prince who's here to marry the Prince. Yep, he's sooo gonna marry that guy." Dilan: "There was a whole musical number about it, you should have seen it, I was on top of my game." Michele: "Sure heard about it, you stirred up trouble here. Hope it helps ... I'm not saying that Herakles should marry someone his dad set in front of him, but it'd be nice if he found someone at last. He told me he was very lonely the last years ... I don't want to leave him behind just as lonely again." Dilan: "Yeah, it'd be - Leave him behind?"

- Dilan: "Good news! His loverboy is not here to stay! He wants to go to the west, he's just here because of his terrible dad!" Sadık: "Oh, that's good! Wait ... isn't his father that asshole of an advisor?" Dilan: "Yeah. Why." Sadık: "The guy who wanted to marry his son to Herakles since apparently forever?" Dilan: "Yeah, but his son is not going to marry him." Sadık: "I smell a trap 10 miles against the wind."

- There is no trap however. Herakles realizes that the crush on Michele is nothing but a childhood crush and has to be left in the past … and that he wants to move forward with Sadık. When he wants a conversation one-on-one, Dilan wants to make it a one-on-two, but Herakles asks her if she doesn’t want to keep Michele company in the gardens, it’s not gonna take long, an hour or two at most. Then she can also fetch Michele when they’re done, so that Herakles can say goodbye before he leaves for Sicily.

- Dilan thinks about it, finds it’s not a trap (and if it was, nothing she and her fists couldn’t solve) and goes in the garden. There she talks with Michele and makes the mistake to either show off her magic powers, tell Michele of TurGre’s meetugly (#Don’tSickTheGuardsOnMyAssYou’reSoSexyAhaha) or to be like: “Hey, do you wanna know a cool secret? Sadık isn’t a Prince, all of this is my doing. Pretty cool, eh?”

- Unfortunately, they’re not alone. Salvatore was searching for Michele in the gardens, to get his “fucking rotten brat of a son” to play along after all instead of disappearing once again. So he overhears this. Salvatore: "Oh, so Prince Sadık is not a Prince? That's a funny joke indeed and I'll laugh my ass off the hardest in the end."

- So just when Herakles and Sadık had time to talk about their feelings and confess and, also, you know, make out and fumble for good measure, they get interrupted. Literally when Herakles was finally stripped down to his tunic and Sadık slid his hand underneath it.

- Athanasios: "This is gonna be the last wall you breached, you little rat." Herakles: "Dad! Stop it!" Athanasios: "This man nearly ruined our dynasty. Arrest him." Salvatore: "Arrest the man indeed. Go and get the ex-emperor." Athanasios: "Ex-Prince. It's not the right time for your snark." Salvatore: "I'm not talking about that small fish. Guards - arrest this careless idiot who nearly ruined our city by letting a scammer into its walls! Clearly the emperor's been in on this and can't be trusted!" Athanasios: "You've lost your mind." Salvatore: "You've lost yours and it's actually the thing you'll miss the least when syphilis is going to eat away the last of your rotten brain in the dungeons. So get him! And that ottoman faker, too, just get the trash out of here."

- The scene ends rather dramatically, because I love the thought of Michele and Dilan rushing to their help, but they get held back. Dilan maybe gets restrained by some anti-magic stuff. And Dilan begs Sadık to use his last wish to help him. To solve this problem. But Sadık refuses, because he promised to use it to set her free. So Dilan is just livid and upset, distraught, yelling at him to let her do something while he gets taken to the dungeons.

- So now Salvatore’s in charge and setting his plans into motion. PR is of course the first thing that needs to be done, so there’s a speech to Constantinople’s masses: "But, as you know, I respect and regard the royal family, the entire dynasty, more than any of you! So I am not going to assume power, it'd be a crime against God himself who granted us this emperor, if I had removed him for anything but his unstable condition and his tragic mistake of almost letting his lineage being tainted! Not to mention that this would have been the end of our beloved empire, our city, suddenly overrun and ruled by those barbarians! No, of course I'll give my power to the true heir who was merely a victim to his father's incompetence. To prove I really mean it, I'm even going to give up my son to the Prince, to forever bind my loyality to the throne!"

- Michele: "I hold no more respect for you as father as I did when we left. I'm not going to play along your perverted plan." Salvatore: "Well Michele, if you don't respect me as father, then maybe you'll respect me as the Roman Emperor!"

- Meanwhile, in the dungeons, Athanasios and Sadık have some great chitchat. Sadık: "Guess that's some quality father and son in law bonding time, eh?” S:“Though I'm pretty sure your son would rather call me daddy than you." A: "Once this entire drama is over, I'll have you decapitated. Or just kick you back to your people and let them handle this." S: "Ah, but when I came here as a fake prince, your arms and gates were wide open. Should've listened to your son when he told you so."

- Here’s also some Salvatore content: Athanasios: "And now you strut around in my clothes. I'm surprised they even fit you fatass!" Salvatore: "Oh, the entire imprisonment is really getting to you, ain't it, emperor tightlips? Ah, I meant - ex-emperor tight lips. Now you've sunk low enough to insult me with such details. Is it because you have nothing else left now that you're off your high horse?" Salvatore: "I thought so. At least you're enough of a sound mind to not threaten me with 'once I get out of here' hot air. Because we both know you're not getting out of here in a lifetime anymore. And yes, I’m wearing your rags, since I’ve got no time to waste.” Salvatore to Sadık: "Actually, it's sad that you aren't going to be there to watch it. Although, I think a public execution would just spice the entire wedding festivities up, if I think about it."

- Ah yes. The wedding. Herakles: "You look great today, my love. Like a polished jewel." Michele: "Thanks. I'd never seen a man more handsome than you though. Truly, a prince with all his qualities seen right away." Both: -sigh- Ft. Dilan, who’s just watching the kids sadly and is trying to reassure them she got this, she’s gonna find a way, it’ll be fine!!!

- Herakles and Michele wonder why Sadık didn't use that wish. To which Dilan replies he said he'd free her with it, but she didn't believe he'd actually uphold that promise. And he shouldn't have because now she's useless and he's in trouble. (And Hera only falls more in love with Sadık, because being a good person is HELLA swoony.)

- Dilan also tries to cheer them up and I believe she can still do small magic tricks, she just can't get out of whatever shackles/confinement she is in. So when she isn't despairing or raging, she tries to cheer Herakles and Michele up with some silly little tricks. She shapeshifts into their fathers to make fun of them. Which leads them to an idea ...

- I have no idea what it is though. I only know that the grand final and resolution involves shapeshifting. If anyone who's better at plots wants to give me ideas, please do.

- However they manage to stop Salvatore's machinations, this is what follows: Salvatore gets thrown into the dungeons. Herakles decides to not let his father out and instead take the crown himself. He becomes emperor and marries Sadık. Sadık uses his last wish to set Dilan free. Michele goes to travel to Sicily, promising he’ll write letters to them and come visit some day (Dilan promises the same).

- The end of Salvatore and Athanasios rotting in jail together is SO satisfying to me, bc now that they are useless to each other, there is nothing left to do but be a pain in each other’s ass. They hate each other and they DESERVE EACH OTHER.

Sequel Bait:

- Before we get to the sequel bait, let me give you some prequel bait for a change. Here's a little "what if one of the many suitable matches for Herakles had been one of the Beilschmidt brothers" scenario. Plus free medieval history lesson:

- Now for the actual sequel: Three years come and go. Herakles and Sadık settle in their new rules as emperor and ... emperor's husband. (I don't know if Byzantine empresses were "put into office" in the same way the Emperor was. If someone is more knowledgeable about this than me, correct me).

- Their marriage is going swell, however both struggle in their new official roles. Herakles faces all the administrative problems and tough decisionmaking that comes with being a ruler, while Sadık struggles to be accepted by the people of Constantinople. Where Herakles tends to take care of the court, Sadık tries his hand at being a military leader.

- One morning, Sadık wakes up with Herakles in the room. Which should not be surprising, if it wasn't for the fact that Herakles had left the city yesterday. He's oddly nonchalant about it when Sadık asks him and also ... weirdly chipper? Eager? Kitschy in his flirting? He's at first flattered, but soon very confused by everything and wonders if either he hit his head real hard in his sleep or if Herakles fell off his horse when he tried to make it out of the city.

- Turns out none of it, because after some more eyelash fluttering, his "husband" goes POOF! and turns out to be Dilan, who's on the floor laughing. "You should have seen your stupid face! Really! Wait, I'll show you!"

- After Dilan is done shapeshifting into Sadık, absolutely overacting his reaction and argueing with him about it, they finally get to catch up. Turns out that Dilan was bored by travelling around the world and wanted to check in on her old buddy.

- She couldn't have chosen a more opportune time to do so. Once Herakles returns, he ... at first has a weird reunion with his husband. Sadık is kind of wary around him and starts to list his attitude and general personality traits/ticks as proof for ... something. Takes a while for Herakles to get the news that Dilan is back, too.

- Herakles is very relieved to hear that! He wanted to confide something in Sadık, because after he had returned to the city, someone had taken him aside. Natasa Simonides, an old and trusted courtly advisor, needed help. Recently, her husband Ibrahim disappeared and she's worried.

- Natasa also told Herakles a secret: Ibrahim is a Jinn, which is why his disappearance worries her even more. Herakles informs Sadık and asks Dilan if she knows anything, but she sadly hasn't heard anything either. - Before she can zip off and see if she can find Ibrahim, Herakles asks another favour of her - to educate Natasa's twins, Timothea Farah and Omar Veniam instead. Natasa thinks they may be able to find their father, but they don't know they're half-Jinn, so they'd need some guidance. Dilan happily agrees to be their teacher!

- My only more in-depth infos on Jinn and their children with humans comes from this Monstrum video by PBS Storied. I don't think Thea & Omar would need to be taught by anyone to be seers and how to be in communication with non-human spheres, but it makes for a better story.

- So Dilan is off to teach the kids while Sadık volunteers to go and search for Ibrahim. Herakles resumes his imperial role in the city.

- It's not really fun and as the people become more and more agitated with the status quo, more and more people "remember" that the old emperor is still around. Enough people are going "What's that kid knowing anyways?! All those highfangled ideas and useless reforms, for what?" that a select few decide to stage a coup by releasing Athanasios from the dungeons.

- Now, I still haven't decided if Salvatore also gets let out. The problem is that I really would begrudge him his freedom ... but I also begrudge Athanasios his freedom! It doesn't feel fair that one bastard gets to walk free and the other doesn't!

- Out in the field, Sadık isn't having much more luck. No Jinn in sight and the trouble he has with a few of the men that accompany him keeps him thinking about the acceptance problems again. He really wishes at one point that Herakles wasn't emperor at all. You can imagine how terrible he feels for these thoughts when news of the coup catches up to them. Be careful what you wish for and all that jazz. On top of that, he gets into trouble as well - betrayed by some of the men he had taken along. He gets stuck in some place like a cave or an abandoned house he was investigating ...

- Sadık finds a large sealed bottle and thinks 'Well, what's the worst that could happen?' He is greeted by a GIANT cloud of smoke instead of anything edible/drinkable. By the time the cloud is human-shaped, he already has a giant grin on his face. Sadık: "Hah! I have a sixth sense for this kind of stuff!" Jinn: "Greetings, mor-" Sadık: "Yeah, yeah, quick question, is your name Ibrahim? Or do you know one of your kind called Ibrahim who's been passing through recently?" Jinn: "My name is Ibrahim - " Sadık: "Great! You know a Greek lady called Natasa? I take that look as a yes. Okay, so first wish is to get us out of here, second wish we'll see, third is like freeing you from the whole servitude bit - You do the three wishes thing, right? Anyways, your wife and kids are wishing for dad to come home, so get us out of here, you'll get explanations on the way back."

- In the meantime, Dilan and her protégés, along with Natasa and Herakles, have been trying to figure out how to solve the problem at court. It doesn't help that the news of Sadık's troubles also reached them (I know the speed of spreading information may be historically hella inaccurate, but I need it for the drama). So Dilan is torn between helping her best bud and helping the rest at court. The Greeks cook up a plan and assure her that she should go and help Sadık, they've got this.

- The plan is to get Athanasios to do something incredibly stupid that would immediately turn the people against him. They exploit the fact that Athanasios likes to listen to words that fall from pretty lady's mouths. So Timothea flatters her eyelashes and promises to tell him something of a vision she had ... that the divine has something to tell him through her. (Don't worry for her, she may have to endure his fingers under her chin, which is infuriating and nauseous enough, but no more skin contact than this). Thea gets backed by her brother to lend it more credibility once Athanasios considers with his head and not his dick.

- And we can all appreciate that Dilan has been sent away, otherwise the scene would have been like this: Thea: "The spirits are talking to me about you ... " Dilan: "Mhm, mhm, indeed, I can hear them to. They're saying that you're a bitch!"

- Dilan in the meantime reaches Sadık, Ibrahim and those of his troop that haven't betrayed and abandoned him as soon as they heard of the coup. A little happy reunion before she immediately fills them in on what's happening.

- They come up with a plan themselves to finally get rid of Athanasios and the Simonides and Herakles have begun to sweat a little back home, because Athanasios mistake of listening to the twins' advice has bought them time, but not really solved the problem yet. Which is when Dilan and Ibrahim sweep in, concocting an illusion powerful enough to wrap up everyone in Constantinople and make Athanasios seem like the literal devil. Some mass-hallucination miracle bullshit, truly, to assert that he doesn't deserve the throne.

- Maybe for good measure, Athanasios disappears after the illusion is over. Dilan and Ibrahim have no idea where he went, they say with a smile.

- Another grand finale! The four lovers are reunited, Thea and Omar are overjoyed to have their dad back and he is overjoyed to have his kids back. When Dilan tells the Simonides twins that they did a great job, she's a good teacher after all haha!, Ibrahim and Natasa invite her to stay. Dilan says that they don't need her, surely, now that Ibrahim can teach them, but Ibrahim says he could use some help. Herakles also encourages her, saying that he'd love to have her at court - and Sadık also bullies her into staying. "What do you wanna do, see the world again? Didn't do much for your peanut brain the first time around, maybe hit the books together with Hera so that you'll be a passable teacher some day."

- Dilan and Omar also have evolved a crush on one another during this entire mess. That's what I'll leave you with - all well that ends well.

Also hey you! Thanks for reading all of this! Here's a little bonus content if you made it this far!

A wonderful fanart of Michele and Salvatore by my beloved friend C0FFINATED over on twitter!

Here's an amazing commission of the Greeks and Turks by @captkirkland ! I'm not sure if I'm allowed to repost the pictures myself on tumblr & you shoud reblog it from him anyways. Show him and his amazing art some love! From left to right it's Timothea, Herakles, Omar, then Dilan, Sadık and Havva (who's not featured in this AU, rip. Things would have worked to well with their brainpower).

Thanks for reading this! Hope you have a wonderful day!

[ratisnotcrying]

you’re useless

Summary: “Well, maybe if you weren’t so goddamn useless then we wouldn’t be stuck here.”

Juno hadn’t meant to say it. He didn’t even really believe it. Maybe he would have, when he was still a PI, before he had first met Peter, but he had changed so much since then. He still had bad days, but he handled them better now. He knew when he was in the wrong.

Prompt: "You're useless." from palettes-and-prompts

Pairings: background Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel, background Buddy Aurinko/Vespa Ilkay

Warnings: implied child abuse, descriptions of violence, hidden injury, hurt/comfort

Word count: 2.6K

A/N: this is crossposted on ao3 - ik that repeticism isnt a word but im making it one for this fic 

~~~

“Well, maybe if you weren’t so goddamn useless then we wouldn’t be stuck here.”

Juno hadn’t meant to say it. He didn’t even really believe it. Maybe he would have, when he was still a PI, before he had first met Peter, but he had changed so much since then. He still had bad days, but he handled them better now. He knew when he was in the wrong.

~~~

Rowan isn’t quite sure how they found themself on board the Carte Blanche and on the outskirts of the Aurinko crime family.

They had the typical, cliché backstory of a lone-wolf operating within the underbelly of society - a surface-perfect home life destroyed by something seemingly mundane blah blah blah, trust issues, a long line of enemies, enough friends to count on one hand, and nothing much else to show for over two decades of living.

One good thing about working alone is the need to get creative, and this is what had put them on Buddy’s radar in the first place. A few years ago, Rowan had been hired to acquire a tank of rare fish - this is about where they stopped asking questions, they didn't care as long as they got paid - and, after some very elaborate lies, an even more elaborate disguise and a rigged game of cards, they had managed to win a tank of the ugliest fish they had ever seen.

The part that caught Buddy’s attention, though, was the escape. Rowan had been found out before they had a chance to get out of the building, and had only managed to escape because they had memorised the security’s routes. It took a bit of guesswork, but they had been able to work out where the security would be coming from, found an unguarded window, clambered down a drain pipe, fish tank sloshing precariously in their bag, and landed near perfectly in a pile of rubbish bags outside the window - if you discount the broken bottle that had gouged their leg.

Buddy had picked Rowan up a few weeks after Juno and Rita, but it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, no matter how much anyone may have wanted it to be.

The problem wasn’t that Rowan couldn’t do their job - if that were the case they wouldn’t be here. No, the problem was that being thrown into close quarters with a bunch of strangers was… a lot. Especially for someone who had been alone for so long.

Rowan liked Jet well enough, he was straightforward and honest but intense; Buddy’s ‘take no shit but do no harm’ attitude aligned perfectly with her unwavering morals, and this was a welcome relief from the lies and deceit Rowan had lived with for so long. Rita and Peter were surprisingly welcoming, and Rowan formed a reluctant almost-friendship with Vespa. Juno, though. He and Rowan were too alike: fiercely independent, stubborn as a mule, and they both fell back into old habits as easily as anything.

Maybe this clash of bad habits, the deceptive comfort in being who you were, even for a moment, is how this job went so spectacularly wrong.

~~~

It was supposed to be a simple in-and-out job. Rita had taken out the security cameras, Jet was waiting in the car, and Juno was sneaking down the darkened hallways with Rowan.

“I still don’t understand why we need this goddamn painting. It looks like a baby threw up crayons and then just threw up on a canvas.”

“I’ve just eaten, Juno, shush if you don’t want me to throw up too.”

“Rowan, darling, please do not do that - this painting is priceless and highly sought after, which is why, Juno, we need to swap this for the information August Reid is refusing to give us. I did mention this in our family meeting before you left.”

Vespa’s aggravated voice piped up in the background of Buddy’s comms, “He was too busy swooning all over Ransom to pay attention.”

~~~

They had gotten the painting easily, so it was just a matter of getting out again. Rowan had been tasked with studying the guards’ shift patterns and routes, and had had no problem getting them in. Apparently, their luck couldn't hold.

They crept forwards, leading Juno left, right, left again, ducking this way and that to avoid the, quite frankly excessive, number of guards patrolling the halls. And that’s when it happened.

Rowan ducked right around a corner into another corridor, one that was supposed to be empty for another six minutes at least and there, at the other end, was a guard. A guard who was looking right at them.

“Crap.”

“What? Rowan we need to kee- crap.”

Both of their comms beeped, Buddy asking them questions with thinly veiled panic in her voice, but neither of them answered, stood frozen, eyes locked with the guard. Then all hell broke loose.

Everyone took out their guns and bullets started flying, the guard was shouting and footsteps could be heard thundering closer from all directions.

A tidal wave of de ja vu crashed over Rowan, “Fuck, this way,” they shouted, turning to run, voice tinged with something Juno didn’t have time to decipher, but Juno grabbed their sleeve and dragged them in the opposite direction.

“Hell no. You are done giving directions, I am not letting you get me killed here.”

They ran back the way they had come, and Juno skidded to a stop in front of a storage cupboard.

“Get in, quickly. There’s a vent at the top we need to get through. Do you think you can manage that?”

Rowan wasn't sure - there was a searing pain in their side that sent shocks of nausea through them with each breath and black dots into their vision with each movement. But this was their fault - they had failed at the one job they had - the one thing they were supposed to be able to do, they got themself shot and had put Juno in danger. They did not need to hold the job up any longer - they just had to get out of here and they could deal with the shot later.

It was a tight squeeze, both of them were crammed awkwardly into the vents, waiting for Rita to work out where they were so she could guide them out.

“Christ, it’s cramped in here - my side is killing me.” Rowan muttered to themself.

“Well, maybe if you weren’t so goddamn useless then we wouldn’t be stuck here.”

Everything seemed to shift and sharpen, Rowan suddenly violently aware of everything around them whilst simultaneously being blurred by memories they had tried so hard to bury: Juno was trying to listen and see if they had been found, there was shouting from down the hall, the smell of musty metal was almost overwhelming and Rowan jerked as if physically struck by Juno’s words, completely at a loss for what to say. Luckily, Rita, who had been on the comms, was not quite as speechless.

“Mistah Steel! That is a horrible thing to say, how could you-”

“Goddamnit Rita, I don't have time for this - how they hell do we get out of here?”

~~~

Jet was still outside with the car, and took off at break-neck speed as soon as the doors were shut. Juno sat in the front seat, the painting on his lap, talking to Buddy about something, and Rowan was slouched in the back, trying to cover up the fact that their organs were about to fall out. Well, that was an exaggeration. Probably. Just to be safe they grabbed a jacket they had left in the car weeks ago and slipped it on, wrapping it tightly around themself to try and hide the blood and hopefully-not-organs.

Juno had gotten a bit banged up in the vents, so when they arrived back at the Carte Blanche he went straight to the medical bay to meet Buddy with the painting and then to get checked.

“Rowan, it is recommended that you also get checked out. You look very ill,” Jet said as Rowan turned away from the medical bay and towards their room.

“No worries, Jet, I just want to get changed first - these clothes are filthy.”

~~~

“It was a mistake, darling, the best of us make them.”

“Yeah, well, it ws a stupid mistake - all they had to do was make sure they knew where the guards would be and then make sure we weren’t there!”

Vespa growled at Juno, who was gesticulating wildly whilst she was trying to wrap a bandage around his arm.

“Juno, I don’t care if Rowan walked straight up to that guard and told him why you were there - we are a family, and you will not speak to any member of this family like that.”

“That’s another thing - I get why everyone is here except Rowan - you said it was some daring escape that brought them here, but after today’s performance… what exactly do they bring to the table?”

“I’m going to leave that for you to work out, Juno.” Buddy said tersely.

He deflated a little, head tipping back to stare at the ceiling. Goddamnit.

“Are we about done here, Vespa, I’ve got places to be.”

~~~

Rowan would quite like a stiff drink right about now. Partially to actually drink, but mainly because they had run out of steriliser and this wound was definitely going to get infected and it would be this whole thing and they would get ill and-

“Get it together, Rowan.” They hissed, pulling out a sterile needle and taking a deep breath as they began to stitch themself up. This was not the first time, and likely wouldn’t be the last, that Rowan has had to do this - working alone and working recklessly meant most jobs ended with soft pink staining bandages and staining baths, throat and skin burning from cheap whiskey. Tonight didn’t have to be different.

The shot had skimmed their side so, luckily, no organs were falling out, but it was still going to be a bitch to heal, likely would be ripped open a few times and leave a nasty scar. This, unfortunately, was also not uncommon.

The painful repeticism of the needle going in and out lulled Rowan into a violent comfort they tried to avoid, the panicked calm soothing them until they couldn't quite hold back the memories they had been reminded of earlier.

Raised voices, gritted teeth and finger shaped bruises. Running, up stairs, through doors, arou-

There was a knock at their door. They flinched, snapping back to reality.

“Rowan, it’s Juno. Can I- can we talk?”

They almost said yes, just called Juno in like nothing was wrong. Then their brain kicked it’s way through the fog and realised they were sitting in bloody trousers, half stitched up wound and thread fully exposed to anyone who might walk in.

“Rowan?”

They picked up the shirt closest to them - part of a matching pyjama set - and tried to tuck the needle away so they could carry on when Juno was gone, and threw the door open.

“Sorry, I was just getting changed. Just sit anywhere.” They mumbled, haphazardly shoving piles of washing off of a chair.

“Thanks. Listen, about earlier, I know that you didn’t mean for that to happen. It’s been a rough week, not that that’s an excuse for what I said- are you alright?”

Rowan had half-sat, half-fallen back onto their seat on the bed and was focusing very hard on not fainting, so much so that they couldn’t really understand what Juno was saying. Maybe this wound was worse than they had thought. They nodded and hoped for the best.

“Right… Anyways, what I actually came to say is that I'm sorry I called you useless. You made a mistake, no one died, well I don’t think anyone died. Whatever, it couldn’t have been avoided. I know that I can be abrasive,” he said with a look that meant he had been told this many, many times before, “but that doesn’t mean that- Rowan, you really look like crap.”

“Wow, thanks, Juno, you say the sweetest things,” they took a deep breath and tried not to panic at the fact that they couldn’t really feel most of their torso anymore, “I know you didn’t mean it, we’re fine. Stop looking at me like that, I’m fine, I just need a nap.” The last words were pointed, hinting sharply at Juno to leave.

“Yeah, because slurred speech and sweating and shaking all scream ‘I’m fine’,” he paused for a moment and Rowan could almost see the cogs whirring, piecing together the information - bullets flying, the unidentified something in Rowan’s voice, the jacket they hadn’t been wearing before, the sterile wrappers on the bed… Then the last piece clicked into place, “Rowan, is that blood?”

They looked down at their top - their white pyjama top - as their vision began to fade out, their head too heavy to hold up and mouth too numb to speak, “No-”

~~~

When they came to, they were in the medical wing wearing a loose sleep shirt - distinctly not soaked in blood - and shorts. They tried to get up and go but a not-so-gentle hand pushed them back to lying down.

“Goddamnit, stop moving. You’ve already ripped your stitches once and you weren’t even awake,” Vespa growled, fussing with the bandages wrapped tight around Rowan’s middle.

“Sorry, I’ve always been lively in bed.”

“That’s cute, darling. What’s not cute is the stunt you pulled last night - if Juno hadn’t come to see you when he did... “ An uncomfortable look passed over Buddy’s face, “Let’s not dwell on that. I will want to talk about this later, but, for now, somebody else wants to see you.”

“Great,” Rowan tried to get up again, “Where are they?”

“Nice try, tough guy, but you’re staying right here until mean old Vespa lets you out.”

“Bite me, Steel.”

“No, thanks, I think I'll leave that to-” He cut himself off at Buddy's warning glance and didn't speak again until Buddy and Vespa had both left the room.

Rowan glanced at the bandage wrapped around Juno’s bicep, “Is it bad?”

“No, just a flesh wound, unlike that one you’re sporting - what was the plan? Stitch it up and hope you didn't drop dead in the middle of the next job?”

“Something like that.”

“Goddamnit. Okay, I don't know how much of what I said yesterday you heard but I'm sorry for what I said. I know we don't really… get along, but you remind me of,” he sighed, “You remind me of someone I used to know.”

“Juno, I really don't need a pep talk.”

“Well, here's the thing - you absolutely do because this,” he gestured to the bandages and the bed, “can’t happen again. You can't see that we care about you - you wouldn't be here if Buddy didn't think you were worth something and Rita is the best judge of character I know; she thinks you’re great. You have a goddamn family here, Rowan, stop trying to push us out.”

Rowan sighed, and Juno graciously didn't mention the tears in their eyes. “I don't know how to-” Rowan shook their head.

“We aren't going anywhere, Rowan, I know that's not what you want to hear but I don't care. For right now you need to stay here and stop ripping out your stitches. Take care of yourself for once. Then we can work on whatever complexes you’re holding onto so tight.” Juno said, squeezing Rowan’s shoulder as he stood.

Rowan didn’t say anything till he was half-way out the door, “Hey, Juno? Thanks.”

“Sure thing.”

[ickle-ronniekins]

dance with me

request from nonnie! “Hello! Im terribly in love with your writing! I was wondering if maybe, Charlie takes Bill, the twins an (either oc or reader insert) to a muggle party and they’re all super confused but love it and Fred is completely smitten by the OC when she danced and maybe did something weird/special of your choosing. I hope it isnt much, lots of love for u and Mischief Managed! ♥️”

pairing: fred x muggle!reader

word count: 2.2k

A/N: my dudes i don’t even know what the fuck this is but i loved this request so much, didn’t mean to make it sad, sry, also you can interpret this how you will.. personally i think they’re both too vulnerable rn to ~get it on~ but i like to think that maybe fred would open his heart again after this and she’d mend his heartbreak..... brb making myself big sad !!!!!! but listen if you wanna imagine him pinning her against the wall and having the time of his life then go for it, man i'm just...... big into angst;;;;;;; pls reblog & leave feedback & things of the like, thank you loves

tag list: @mintlibri @seppys-return-to-madness @how-do-life-does @fopdoodledane @fredd-weasley @iprobablyshipit91 @semmelsemi @cottageoflove @laneygthememequeen @snakesonaplane-7 @lupinsx @keoghans​ @helloallthethingsilove​ @waschbiber​ @dreamer821​ @the-hufflepuff-of-221b​ @62442-am​ @wtfweasleyy​ @obsessedwithrandomthings​ @thoseofgreatambition​ @harrysweasleys​ @sleep-i-ness​ @shadowsinger11​ @shadychaoticcollection​ @haphazardhufflepuff​ @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff​ @hood-and-horan​ @letsfightsomeorcs​ @theweasleysredhair​ @purpleskiesstorm​ @hxfflxpxffs​ @wand3ringr0s3​ @finecole​ @angelinathebook​ @highly-acidic​ @purplefragile @90shermione​ @zreads​ @susceptible-but-siriusexual​ @parker-potters​ @andromedaa-tonks​ @bbstrawberry0421 | message me to be added!

The foggy, wet streets of the city were unappealing compared to the very comforting, open landscape next to the Burrow. The very last thing that Fred and George had wanted to do was follow their two eldest brothers in the frigid, rainy weather to some silly Muggle party in central London.

Especially Fred.

He didn’t want to be forced out of the one place that made him somewhat happy, especially when he was still nursing the heartbreak that had been causing him so much unpleasantness.

But they’d obliged, because Charlie had nearly pounced on the two of them about it, and they’d much rather go to this than be forced to sit inside the Burrow with pompous Percy -- although, since the war, he had admittedly gotten better at not being a self-righteous git.

The twins had a ton on their plate; not to mention, Fred wasn’t in the mood for any of it. They were dragged out of their business shop by Bill, who was adamant about the fact that they’d both needed a night out, and when they’d tried to persist, telling their eldest brother many times that they had too much to do before the newest shipment of magical inventions came in, Bill had nearly hexed the pair of them, causing them both to shut up almost instantaneously.

But now, as bright, fluorescent lights hit the middle of the room, highlighting you, your smooth and effortless dance moves, and the very lazy grin on your face as you sang along to the booming music in between sips of your drink, Fred wasn’t so huffy about being here anymore.

His heartbreak didn’t seem so heavy anymore.

At least right now, it didn’t.

Admittedly, Bill was right. They really did need a night out. They’d been so bloody busy working that they hadn’t even been to the pub in a few weeks’ time. Ever since the war, business had seemed to escalate, which was really saying something, considering it was incredibly busy even before all of this had gone down. The two of them hardly ever had a moment to breathe. Which, they supposed, was good for Fred. Kept him occupied, kept his mind at bay. But they reckoned they probably needed to hire some more help. Ron had reluctantly agreed to lend a hand. It was Hermione’s idea. A brilliant one, at that.

George thrust a beer frustratingly into his twin’s hands. “We’ve got so much to do, mate.”

“Yeah,” Fred replied breathlessly, truly not listening to a word George was saying.

Fred Weasley had always had it easy when it came to the ladies. They flocked to him, really. He didn’t like to admit it so as not to come off like an entitled prat, but it was true. It was probably due to the fact that he was always making everyone laugh -- something that came equally as easy to him. Perhaps it was his bright red hair that the girls ogled over. Maybe it was his wicked sense of adventure, and the fact that he was always landing himself in questionable situations more often than not. But that was school. He could easily impress those girls at school. He hadn’t had too in a while, though. He’d been happily tied up with the same person for years — that is, until he wasn’t. Until she’d picked someone else.

This was different, though. This was a Muggle party, in the middle of central London, in someone’s sweaty, sticky flat with a bunch of people he didn’t know. Fred couldn’t do magic here. He couldn’t impress someone with his inventions or with his stories about adventure without giving away the fact that he was a from a magical background. He couldn’t use his usual tricks in front of all of these Muggles or he’d be in a ton of hot water.

He also couldn’t let his very intense vulnerability and his rusty flirting get in the way.

But he wouldn’t be Fred Weasley if he didn’t try, right?

It was always easy for Fred to be able to flirt absentmindedly with women. But with his heart in a fragile state, he wasn’t so sure it would be easy tonight.

Bill, picking up on his younger brother’s locked knees and fingers gripped tight around his beer, stopped in front of them. “You alright, Fred?”

“Yeah,” Fred said again, clearing his throat and swigging a bit of his drink. He then thrust the nearly full beer into Charlie’s hands, who furrowed his brows in a confused look. Fred continued, “More than okay. Hey, you guys have fun -- I’ll catch up with you in a bit, alright?”

He left his brothers standing at the other end of the room as he pushed through tons of people. When he’d finally made it to the middle, you were gone. He casually swerved around, peering all around the room to try and meet the gaze with the eyes he felt like he’s known for years already. He then spotted you toward the corner, pouring yourself another drink. His feet began moving before he could register exactly what he was doing; so quickly, in fact, that he hadn’t even heard the obnoxious exchange of words and laughter from behind him from his brothers.

“Merlin, can we go anywhere without Fred picking someone up?”

“Give him a break, mate -- he hasn’t seen anyone since everything unraveled with the last one. It’s been almost two years. Reckon this is good for him — for me, too.”

“Wish it was that easy for me to pick someone up, bloody hell.”

With his heart pounding unnaturally against his ribcage, Fred slid next to you and too began to pour himself a drink, glad to have gotten rid of that beer that Charlie was now undoubtedly guzzling. He opened his mouth to speak, but much to his surprise, you spoke first.

“Ahh -- a whiskey man, are you?”

He was taken aback at the sultry sound of your voice; maybe it was because the music was pounding in his ears, or the fact that you were this foreign person he desperately found himself wanting to know, and very quickly. He looked down at his drink, and then up at you. You were already sipping yours. “That a bad thing?”

“Not necessarily -- though I haven’t decided yet.”

The slight eyebrow raise you gave him made his insides twist. It was too early in the night for nerves. He swallowed them down as he took a swig of his very strong drink. “Haven’t decided, hm?”

You turned to him and then around to face the rest of the party. You inched closer and crossed your arms over your chest, and nodded. “There are three different types of men here tonight, you see. Those, over there,” you pointed with your pinky finger to a bunch of very frat-like men sipping lazily on their beers or glasses of wine, “they’ve come looking for something casual. Not so casual as far as one nighters go, but a fling. Something of the like. Those over on that end,” Fred followed your finger over to a very messy looking group of men who were dancing far too close with some women in the middle of the dance floor -- they looked like they all needed to get rooms. Separately. Merlin. “You know the type of night they’re looking for.”

Fred couldn’t help but snort a bit as he sipped casually.

“And then there’s you. Sipping your whiskey. Cute as ever.”

You turned back toward him and he raised an eyebrow. He was now feeling a bit self-conscious — he was both thrilled and equally embarrassed at being called “cute” by a woman as stunning as you, way out of his league and probably having quite a laugh yourself. He didn’t even know your name. What would you say next? You’d already deemed him the “third type of man” in the room, but the fact that he was a standalone, and not lumped in with another group, made him feel both overwhelmingly relieved, and also slightly terrified. But he tried to play it cool.

“What about me?”

You brought your hand to your hip and wet your lips, pondering this. A small smirk spread itself across your face, the fluorescent light flashing across your eyes. “I dunno yet,”

He liked that. He liked that you didn’t know anything about him. He liked that he didn’t have to be the bloke who made jokes to lighten the mood, the guy who loved messing with people, or the boy who got his heart broken by a girl who’d never really cared for him at all. He didn’t have to be any of those people. He could just be Fred.

“Haven’t decided, I reckon? Like the whiskey?”

You smiled; it was bad enough that Fred was losing his mind solely at the perfume you were wearing, and the fact that this conversation was going absolutely nothing like what he’d planned. Your eyes met his and your voice was soft when you leant in closer, “That’s what makes it so bloody dangerous.”

He didn’t know what the bloody hell you meant by that but he didn’t seem to mind, especially when you grabbed him by the shirt and led him to the dance floor again, slinging your arms around his neck and pulling him close to you as some slow song he’d never heard blared through the speakers in the corner.

“And to think — I was just going to come over here and see if I’d even be lucky enough to have a chat,”

You laughed at this, shutting your eyes whilst doing so, and Fred noticed something sparkly painted on your skin toward the edges of your eyes. “What can I say? You’ve intrigued me.”

Perhaps he could do this without any magic. Bloody difficult to not talk all about it, though.

Perhaps his vulnerability would subside, and he’d be able to talk and flirt and dance without thinking back on his own overwhelming heartache that had rendered him nearly useless the last few months.

But after a while, he stopped worrying. The music was so loud, your laughter so infectious, that he’d forgotten all about all those stupid jokes he’d wanted to make about his shop, about Hogwarts, about the magic he’d learned growing up. It wasn’t until you’d asked him to be in the moment with you that he’d truly remembered them.

“Just,” you’d started, tugging gently on the collar of his shirt and biting your bottom lip as another song played loudly, “just be here with me, okay?”

Fred wondered, as glassiness seemed to fill your eyes through a grin at him, if you, too, were in need of this night out.

Maybe you were nursing some kind of heartbreak, too.

Maybe you were also trying to find some type of normal.

It was in your tone — in the way your voice trembled slightly when you’d said be here with me. He didn’t think you were looking for something like a fling, like those guys you’d pointed at before. And he definitely knew that you weren’t looking for one night and one night only, like those sloppy people he’d kept trying to avoid on the dance floor. Maybe, like you’d said, you just needed him to be here. In the moment. Just the two of you, shoes heavy against the hardwood floor, eyes sparkling underneath the lights.

He realized, when he peered down at you and felt some type of warmth for the first time since his own heart was crushed in its vulnerability, that he just needed you to be here with him, too.

So when you leant forward slowly, trying to read his expression, to see if it was okay to do what you wanted to do, he leant in too, pressing his lips gently to yours in a spark of electricity for the first time in Merlin only knows how long.

And what he tasted on your lips sent him spiraling.

When you pulled apart, he raised an eyebrow and smirked at you. “What?” You asked nervously, biting down on the bottom lip, desperately trying to hide the smirk that was growing on your face.

“A whiskey girl, eh?”

You shrugged casually, as if it meant nothing. But you both knew it meant everything. It was just strange, he thought — your first interaction just hours ago, the conversation you’d held, and how you were here, now, entangled together. You wiggled your eyebrows at him — and he was surprised that he found it both innocent and incredibly alluring. “Told you it’s dangerous.”

You sipped the very last of your drink before tossing your cup into the waste bin. Fred reckoned he could stay here all night, forgetting about all of the things that kept him up at night, the things that had been making him so bloody prone to unpleasantness for such a long time. He wanted to laugh again. He wanted to smile again. He wanted to love again.

When you cocked your head to the side and smiled softly at him, beginning to mouth the words to the music, he reckoned he might just be able too.

Then you tugged on both of his hands, placed them delicately across your waist as you locked your arms around his neck again, you said over the booming of the next stupid song you’d undoubtedly sing every word too,

“Just dance with me, Freddie.”

[daddyjackfrost]

i'm not sure if i have anyy suggestions that you'll want to write, but i'll send them in as they come to mind

so excited for your writing ^^ no pressure though, best of luck with your studies!!

y/n is studying (something difficult, maybe pre-med or med school?) and is feeling a little drained and self-doubtful. she gets up from her space to take a second and is reminded of a time she spent with <whichever haikyuu boy you'd like to write about>. they hadn't gotten to spend much time together as a result of their busy schedule, so the memory of this weekend is especially special to her. start flashback of fluff they had met for dinner, spent time together, cuddled and slept (not 18+) together. they both woke up early but opted to stay in bed together, content in eachother's company, making small talk, laughing softly, fluffy stuff. y/n had brought up her struggles to <haikyuu boy of choice> and he'd been there for her to confide in. she knows its her dream, but casually wonders if she isnt cut out for it. he actively listens, offering comforting touches, until she's finished and then helps her talk it out until she's back up in confidence. more fluffy morning end lashback of fluff y/n feels better having remembered <hq boy>'s pep talk and resumes her efforts.

yeesh, idk how long/short/detailed/vague suggestions are supposed to be, so sorry! 😅 i'll try to be more vague, if you'd like, in the future

hi!! omg u r SO cute i’m in love. anyways, i love your suggestion! it’s amazing. and don’t worry, the more detail the better!

for this request, i’ve chosen Daichi. because i’m a daichi whore i believe in daichi supremacy

Warnings: none :) fluff, daichi x f!reader

alright, anyways, enjoy!

You stared at the piles of paper on your bed. You couldn’t even begin to recall what the different colours of the paper meant. You were just glad you had written it down on your phone.

“This is ridiculous,” you whispered to yourself.

Your back was aching, your muscles were sore, and your eyes burned from the constant strain. You had a final coming up and it was killing you in more ways then one.

“Is this even worth it? I mean, really, what are the chances of me getting into med school?”

You groaned and fell back on your pillow. You dragged your hands down your face. You had been spiraling down a tunnel of self-doubt and it was affecting you. You had begun talking to yourself even more than usual, especially since you cut contact from everyone for a couple of days.

Your phone chimed beside you and you turned your head to face it. You had promised yourself to turn it off, except you forgot.

Well, you didn’t forget, you just didn’t want too.

You picked it up and your eyes fell on the message that your boyfriend left you.

From: acab but not him🙄❣️

‘good evening, beautiful. make sure to eat something, yeah? and get some fresh air. you’ve got this babe, i believe in you❣️’

You smiled at the message. Unknowingly, a few small tears formed at the corners of your eyes. Daichi had a week long training camp that coincidentally aligned with your final. Now, Daichi was in Tokyo and you were cooped up in your room. 

Daichi had made it his job to send you texts almost every hour to remind you he loved you and to eat. You didn’t think you could love him even more.

Due to his own busy schedule, Daichi and you hadn’t been able to spend too much time together before he left. But you knew that as soon as you had taken the final, you were going to spent three days in his arms.

You sent a quick text back, telling him you loved him and that you were going to get something to eat now.

You slowly slid out of bed, making your bed and your bones make noise out of agony. Your knees cracked and you looked down. “Just break,” you prayed.

When nothing happened, you huffed out an annoyed breath and made your way to your kitchen. You and Daichi had moved into an apartment two years ago, and you loved every part of it. Your home was your baby.

As you walked, your eyes fell upon the black leather jacket that laid jumbled up on the couch. Your thoughts immediately flashed to the weekend, the last time you had seen Daichi.

It was Friday night, which meant date night for you and the police officer, and it was perfect.

You parked your car outside of the Miyagi Police Station, waiting for Daichi.

You stood outside, enjoying the light breeze. Daichi had texted you to give him a couple minutes. Today was Friday, which meant date night for you and your lover.

You heard some ruckus and lifted your head, meeting Daichi’s warm gaze. He had a large grin etched onto his face and you felt your own lips pull into a smile.

Daichi walked up to you and pressed a quick kiss to your forehead. “Hello, darling.”

You brushed away the few dark locks that fell on his forehead. “Hello, officer.”

Daichi’s eyes slightly narrows at the use of the word. He absolutely loved and hated when you called him officer. It did things to him.

“Come, let’s go. I’m starving.”

You nodded and pulled away from him, walking to the drivers seat. Daichi always insisted you drive when you picked him up because he wanted to ‘get his full of you’ because he was at work. You never truly understood it, but you liked his heated stare on you so you never said anything.

You and Daichi ended up going to your favourite restaurant. You went here a lot, and were now on first name basis with the manager and half of the employees.

You and Daichi both ordered your regulars and ate peacefully, with some small talk here and there. A hungry Daichi usually resulted in a quiet Daichi.

After dinner, you drove to the park by your house to get some fresh air and to work off some of the food you just ate.

Late night walks with Daichi were your favourite little activities you did with him. Daichi loved late night walks with you too. He loved watching the moon glow on your skin as you stared adoringly at the stars.

Daichi held your hand in his, gently swinging them. He wore black jeans and his favourite grey shirt, with his black worn out leather jacket you had gotten him a couple of years ago.

You kept your eyes on him. His skin glistened in the moonlight and you found him as beautiful as the stars that twinkled above him, if not more.

“What’re you thinkin’ bout, love?”

You turned your head, finding it completely unfair that someone so beautiful stood next to you.

“You,” you mumbled truthfully.

“Is that so?” Daichi’s voice came out teasingly.

You let go of his hand and skipped forward until you stood a couple of feet away from him. You pointed at him and he stopped, hands in his pockets and a smile on his face.

“You, Sawa, are the love of my life.”

Daichi’s eyes widened slightly and a flush of pink now rested on his face. Daichi cleared his throat but couldn’t help the grin that had replaced his smile.

“And you’re mine.”

You grinned at him and then continued to walk until you reached the hill that overlooked your neighborhood. You crouched down, and then sat down, pulling your knees to your chest.

Daichi soon followed, except he sat behind you, and spread his legs so you were sitting between them. He pulled you close to your chest, until your back rested completely against his chest.

You tilted your head back, resting it on Daichi’s shoulder. One of Daichi’s large, warm, hands laid on your stomach, rubbing softly. The other was playing with your hair.

This is it, you thought. I’ll never love anyone the way I love him.

You looked up at the stars. You had always had a fascination with the balls of of heat and energy. When you were a child, your dream was to become a star. You’re not quite sure when that dream led you on the path of medicine, but it did.

Daichi stared at you. It didn’t matter that you two had been together for almost six years, Daichi could never get over how beautiful you were.

The way your hair glistened in the moonlight, the way your eyes twinkled, as if you held the stars in them yourselves. Daichi stared at you the way you stared at the stars.

With complete and utter adoration.

Daichi’s eyes landed on your hands. He watched as they slight shook, and how your tried to make them stop.

He frowned. Your hands only shook when your were stressed.

As swiftly as he could, Daichi grabbed your shaking hands and held them together, complete engulfing them in his own.

“You’re shaking, love. What’s the matter?”

You froze. Caught.

Even though you should have been calm, happy even, since you sat under the stars with your lover, the final that loomed over your shoulder had your nervous system in shambles.

Daichi’s thumbs rubbed the backs of your hands as he waited for your response.

“I’m just nervous,” you mumbled. You hated speaking about up-coming tests or finals. You always had really bad anxiety when it came to any form of testing, and Daichi knew that.

He knew everything about you.

“What about?”

You sighed and extended your legs. Daichi had a way with words. Even when he didn’t speak much, his presence and silence alone spoke tenfold.

“Nothing, really,” you let out an awkward laugh. “You know I’m always a little bit nervous.”

Daichi wanted to press on the matter. He wanted you to speak to him, he wanted to be able to share your stress. But he also knew that you would talk to him when you were ready.

Daichi pressed a soft kiss on your neck. “Talk to me when you’re ready, love.”

You nodded. “I will.”

Daichi kissed the small space behind your earlobe. “Let’s go home, yeah?” You nodded, agreeing. Daichi stood up and then put out his hand for you. You grabbed it, and let him pull you up with ease.

You two began the journey home, reaching in a couple of minutes.

You and Daichi changed into your nightwear. You were wearing one of Daichi’s shirts, and he was just wearing grey sweatpants.

You couldn’t keep your eyes off his body, but managed to look away before he caught you.

Daichi slipped under the covers, and then lifted them. He patted his chest. “Come lay on me.”

You immediately obliged, jumping onto his chest, causing Daichi to let out a small grunt.

You let all your wait drop on Daichi’s body. Your head was in the crook of his neck, and your chest lay flat against his. You could feel his heartbeat against yours and it took you a moment to realize that both your hearts beat at the same time.

As one.

Daichi slid his left hand under your—his—shirt, rubbing your back. It was these moments he wanted to truly cherished. He knew you were stressed about the final that was coming up. He had put the date in his phone when you mentioned it.

Daichi realized that today had been the quietest days you two had had. But he didn’t mind. He loved everyday with you. The quiet, the loud, the hectic, and the crazy.

Daichi began to hum. He could feel the knots in your back, and he knew you should have a nice relaxing weekend before you began to study.

Before he knew it, Daichi heard your soft snores fill the air.

A wide smile broke out on his face. Daichi absolutely adored your sleeping face. All your worry lines disappeared and you looked the most at peace when you slept in his arms.

Daichi slightly pushed himself up. He wanted to be able to see your properly. His brown eyes softened at the sight of your hand against chest. You often called him a creep for staring at your sleeping face, but he always just shrugged it off.

After some time, Daichi found himself driting off to sleep, but not before he tightened his hold on you and kissed your forehead. “Sleep well, my love.”

Hours later, your eyes fluttered open, but you immediately cringed and shut them again.

The sun was facing directly at you. You had forgotten to close your blinds.

You tried to adjust your posture, but immediately stopped when you heard a low rumble from Daichi. No, you felt it, and you froze at the vibrations.

“Don’t move, love.”

Daichi’s voice was low and husky, and slightly dry. You lifted your head and found yourself still laying on his chest. Daichi’s arms were securely wrapped around you, his eyes were shut.

The sound of his morning voice hit you right in the stomach and you couldn’t help but brush your fingers against his cheekbones.

Daichi’s eyes shot open. His dark brown eyes met yours, and for a moment, everything stopped.

You looked so beautiful, Daichi thought.

“Good morning,” you whispered.

Daichi smiled at you and let his head drop back on the pillow. “It is a very good morning, indeed.”

You used your hands and slightly pushed yourself up, so you were now straddling Daichi’s waist. His eyes opened and landed on your nervous smile.

“What’s wrong?”

Daichi grabbed your hips and pushed himself up, so his back was against the headboard.

You now sat on his thighs, and his hold on you tightened a little bit.

You stared at the man in front of you. Even after having you sleep on him for hours, he still looked perfect. It pissed you off, especially since you knew you probably had some drool on your chin.

Daichi leaned forward and pressed a small kiss to your forehead. “Talk to me.”

You nodded and began to play with your fingers.

You couldn’t help but think of the final you had to take in a couple of days. It didn’t make sense, you thought. You had taken finals and tests before, but for some reason, the one you had in five days had disrupted your sleep and taken over your life.

“I’m so nervous for the final, Sawa. I feel like there’s a knot in my stomach and it keeps tightening. I can’t breathe.”

Daichi began to rub the skin above your hip with his fingers. He listened attentively. He was gonna let you talk first, getting everything off your chest.

“I know I always complain and then end up doing well, but what if this is the one I flunk? What if this is the one I end up failing? It’s so nerve wracking. I don’t even know if I wanna do this anymore.”

Daichi’s hands slipped under your shirt and he slowly began to massage your back and shoulder muscles. He wanted to offer you physical comfort.

He knew you were often a mess of nerves and anxiety a week before any test, and no matter how many times he assured you that you would do fine, you always ended up getting caught up in your head.

“I know it’s my dream. But at this point, dropping out sounds ideal. There’s enough doctors in the world, right? Maybe I should do something less nerve wracking.”

You sighed and closed your eyes. It felt nice to finally get your thoughts off your chest.

Daichi’s hands squeezed your hips in response. He hated hearing you talking yourself down. It made him feel so helpless, because for him, you were his everything. He had the upmost respect and belief in you.

“Y/n, love, from everyone in your life, you are the only one who doesn’t fully believe you can do this. I know medicine is a very hard and competitive occupation, but you know I believe in you. If anyone can power through this, it’s you.”

Tears had pooled in your eyes. Daichi had always been so good with words. You knew that Daichi had always been mature for his age, meaning his patience and abilityto comfort you was far better than anyone else’s.

His compassion and understanding was his greatest qualities. His calming aura always managed to break through all your walls. It was what made him such a good captain.

“What if I fail?”

You had mumbled your question, hoping he wouldn’t have caught it.

But he did.

Daichi leaned in and kissed your nose “You won’t. And if you do, then you fail. You shouldn’t be scared to fail, y/n. You should be scared to give up. If you fail, you can always take it again.”

You sighed and lightly nodded. Although you appreciated his words, you knew they would only comfort you for a day or two.

“Thank you, Sawa.”

You tried getting up from his lap, but Daichi had other plans. He grabbed your hips tightly and leaned in, kissing your lips.

You didn’t hesitate, you just began to kiss him back eagerly.

Daichi’s right hand slid up your back, pushing you into him.

Your lips moved together in sync, and you brought your hands to his hair, clutching the soft ends tightly.

Daichi slightly pulled away, only to gently kiss your lips again.

Before you could deepen it, he pulled away again.

“It’s not easy, y/n. But accomplishing your dream never is. You’re gonna do great, just like you always do. I believe in you, and it’s time you do as well.”

His words wrapped around your anxious thoughts and completely anguished them.

You nodded, your nose brushing his.

You closed your eyes and let your head drop on his shoulder. Daichi wrapped his arms around you again, pulling you flush against his chest.

You stayed in that position for hours.

You in Daichi’s lap, with his hands running up and down your back as he comforted you with his words of love and stories to keep your mind off everything.

You blinked a couple of times, trying to recall what exactly what exactly what you were doing.

As you recalled Daichi’s words, you let out a small breath.

He was right, you thought. You weren’t going to fail and you were going to be okay.

You grabbed the leather jacket, and slipped it on. It smelled of Daichi and it was exactly what you needed right now.

You walked into the kitchen and grabbed a packet of ramen.

As you made the noddles, you unknowingly smiled the whole time.

Thinking of Daichi had lifted your spirits and you felt better.

He loved you, and he believed in you, and for you, that was enough.

MAN, THIS SUCKS. I HAD TO RE-WRITE IT LIKE FOUR TIMES GODDAMN.

anyways, i absolutely love and adore daichi, and this is kinda eh😬 so forgive me. I’d been swarmed w work the past week and have no creative juices left.

i will write about this handsome man again.

daddyjackfrost © 2021 | all content belongs to me, do not modify

[shattered-catalyst]

OCD Subtypes for the RPC

Part 1 is here

Well well well, we are back for Part 2 of the Roleplayer’s Guide to OCD.

Fellow Ocd Folks, I see you in those tags and I'm going to do my best to ensure those obsessions are represented here- BUT understand that physically it is not going to be possible to list every single one because I am one person.  Regardless its incredibly brave of you all to rb and add things in the tags, I know its hard to talk about this shit and I see you. I see you.

Resultantly I typed this out and posted it in formatting to assist with accessibility in mind; if you cannot read it still ( I tried Im sorry!) i recommend the copy and paste method or getting the chrome extension bee-line reader.

 There will be grammatical and spelling mistakes. Im sure spacing is odd some places, but you have to understand doing this is extremely anxiety provoking for me so Im just getting it done when I can.

Remember to use your critical thinking; not everyone has the same symptoms/compulsions/triggers and all that.

OCD is fluid. Its like liquid mercury. One day its a handful of subtypes another day its another different serving.

If you are in general squicked about certain topics even by mention read ahead with your own judgement. Remember us folks that have OCD have many disturbing and distressing experiences so if you are writing a character who has OCD and you can’t read about it just don’t give them that obsessive thought/ compulsion. Make sure writing is still a safe and enjoyable hobby for yourself first and foremost.

But ethically and morally I cannot and will not leave out the more disturbing bits. You have the ability to scroll by, I and many others do not get the chance to escape triggering content that our own mind creates.

So read ahead with your best judgement or at least skip around the squicky parts and educate yourself on what OCD is so people quite using it as a Obsessive Christmas/Corgi/Cat Disorder thing. Alright? Cool beans.

Okay so you made it passed post 1 and got under the read more. Give yourself a gold star for diving into this monster of a document.

Below is a crash course it is not meant to replace actual psychoeducation, personal research, or google. Honestly most of us do our research extensively but because OCD is treated so horribly by social media, media, and society in general.

I wasn’t sure where to throw these together because the education tools to learn fully about OCD are very specialized and thus very restricted. I found that many people DO have these experiences with OCD though so I will represent them throughout. I’ll also sprinkle some of my own experiences so you can get a good reference of a person who has the disorder and not just a randomly generated person.

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So OCD is made up of Obsessions, Trigger, Intrusive thought, Misinterpretation/feared consequence,Somatic and Psychological Anxiety, and Compulsions/Rituals.

Your character may not be able to list all of these. In fact if they aren't in ERP therapy they may not be able to puzzle these things out. But YOU as the writer should know them. Your character won’t be walking around talking to just ANYONE that they have OCD. Remember a huge aspect of OCD is it’s Shame.  The disorder makes us feel intense shame regarding our intrusive thoughts, as a result OCD goes undiagnosed for years especially if it has pediatric onset.

  We won’t tell anyone what we are experiencing or why we are doing x y or z. We act like nothing is wrong because to emotionally react is to admit to yourself- and therefore the world- that you have had this intrusive thought and are therefore by virtue a horrible person.[For further information I would suggest also researching PANDAS].

It may be noticeable if your character has an intrusive thought. They may wince or grimace or roll their eyes certainly, but they won’t open up to Joe at the cafe about how their brain is constantly torturing them. I apparently have a very noticeable eye twitch.

 Depending on the nature of the intrusive thought it will get more or less of a reaction out of me. Its usually dependent on how distressing the intrusive thought is and/or if its a new one.

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You see OCD doesn’t sit still. It never looks the same. You’ll have your long haul intrusive thoughts that are with you for years but then you’ll have weird ass ones that just appear and demand their voice be heard yelling about cars hitting people or squirrels getting eaten.

Some people have similar ones! So while everyone is different there will always be someone out there with an intrusive thought similar to yours.

 For instance; I bonded emotionally with a lady on reddit because we both have intrusive thoughts during storms that animals and the homeless are dying. We were both horribly relieved to find another person and also distressed that every snow or rain storm brings horrible images and whispers to your mind that while you are warm and snug in bed someone is freezing to death. And its all your fault.

Some days are better than others. As with all mental illnesses it isn’t CONSTANT ALARM BELLS. Some days it will be all alarms and other days it will be like a gentle whisper on the breeze. You can almost not notice it. Almost.

Obsessive thoughts run the gauntlet from ‘i will/could have/may/may accidentally harm etc’ something that you hold of value. This is any obsessive thought that you have: you think about repeatedly and not by choice, it is very anxiety provoking, it is unwanted, and unwelcome.

 Mine run the scale from ‘squirrel will be murdered’ to ‘being responsible for harm’.

Compulsions or ‘rituals’ are any behavior done to alleviate the anxiety from the intrusive thought and trigger object. In short, compulsions and rituals are not fun. they are absolutely not logical, and we know they are not logical but we are forced to do them. Thats why its a disorder. 

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To emphasize from post 1: magical thinking and the faulty link between thoughts and actions are hallmarks of OCD.  Magical thinking can be anything from contamination to if I turn around three times or stare really hard at something the bad thing wont happen. Sounds weird and is weird and we know it is thats why its a disorder and not a delusion.

The faulty belief that thought=action is the biggest hurdle it is incredibly difficult to grasp, at least for me maybe some of you that have done further ERP can attest, that the mere concept of a thought not being the same as an action is completely and totally mind blowing.

Free will? Yeah thats terrifying. IDK about anyone else but free will is absolutely terrifying; what do you mean i could do anything i wanted?

Thats how you face OCD(WITH A TRAINED THERAPIST). You give in to ambiguity and the unknown. Its breaking that link between thought and action. Its incredibly difficult and draining. A five minute exposure leaves me in shatters for a week and two five minute ones had me ripping my nails past the nail beds with anxiety.

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Just a reminder: Do not have your character expose themself or expose folks with OCD to a trigger to “ help us get over with”. That is literally forcing someone with a mental illness into a break down and is not helpful. In fact its worse because a person knows about this intrusive thought and they tried to make it real. More shame and some trauma. 

If you have OCD, more likely than not a family member or significant other has tried this with the purest of intentions. But it never works like that. Theres a reason that therapists get special training for this. If people want a post on ERP I can make one at some point. 

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Actually let’s drag me with the squirrel thing as the example- fellow OCD Folks get out a pen and paper and try breaking down one of yours;

Obsession:Squirrel will be murdered

Trigger: seeing a squirrel

 Intrusive thought: Graphic images of a squirrel being murdered by a hawk/ impaling depending on the day

Misinterpretation/feared consequence: Squirrel will be killed and its all my fault

Somatic and Psychological Anxiety:intense anxiety, palms sweating, heart racing,

Compulsions/Rituals: Must stare at the squirrel to prevent bad things from happening, 

Now imagine if that is every time you see a fucking squirrel. You have somehow become completely and totally transfixed on a squirrel and nothing is going to pull your attention away or the squirrel dies- which your mind is giving you lovely images of btw.

Cute right?

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Below are the subtypes with general information/example thoughts/ and how some of these have impacted me socially because apparently some people dont understand that mental illnesses impact their social lives?? yall...

Social: This can range from ‘ i am constantly thinking i did something wrong so i have to ask for reassurance that we are still friends’ to completely unrealistic worries. Maybe its an intrusive thought that ‘ your voice is annoying them’ . There’s reassurance seeking, internal and external checking.

 It makes friendships extremely difficult and exhausting. You’re not trying to get to know someone with an annoying frat boy egging on anxiety in your brain. This can also manifest as having strict rules for yourself and ethical codes. 

My therapist likes to say she could give us (folks with OCD) a pile of hundred dollar bills and come back and they’d all be returned. Because OCD makes you so strict and morally confined. Which ISNT fun. Like I dont get pleasure over having to memorize the entire Code of Conduct!

Social Media: Its the bane of human existence some days and a lifeline the next. But what if everytime your follower count was an odd/even number it sent you into a panic attack. What if you spent all your time with intrusive thoughts that somehow someone misinterpreted a post or that someone is going to be harmed by a post you made about tapirs. 

You may be forced to block people to get your number down or keep pornbots on your blog to keep your number what you like (see there is a use for them! We sacrifice those before actual users!) You may be refreshing your page every second because ‘what if you miss a message’. It's going to look a lot like ‘check check check check reassure yourself double check your posts check check check reassure check check FALSE MEMORY check your post etc’

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Clothing/Body Image: When its not Body Dysmorphia it can be OCD. Sometimes this looks like I obsess about a body part and therefore I choose my clothes/hairstyles to hide those.  Some personal examples: as a kid I was sure that mind readers exist ( THIS IS AN OCD THING TOO I was so relieved to find that out) and that if i didnt wear  a particular hat they would see all these horrible thoughts and it would be revealed what an awful person I was. So I wore the same dumb ass bucket hat for a year (or more I cannot remember but it was a long ass time).

I was once so fixated on being given a compliment on my eye color that I wore sunglasses (even at night) to a summer camp. And if any of those teen girls in that cabin that stood up and mocked me in a crowded lunch hall by singing ‘i wear my sunglasses at night’ you all owe me 40$.

Even younger still I had intrusive thoughts. Like say, if anyone noticed I was female that i would be kidnapped so I chopped my hair very short. I altered my appearance to be very androgynous and even switched to walking more masculine. Because omg if your hips move someones going to kill you thats just how it works. ( It doesnt help I later figured out I was a lesbian)

Your wardrobe may be impacted by OCD and yes so can your body image.

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Also yes the fear of mind readers is also a thing; i always thought I was somehow faking OCD because yes that is also a…..

Faking: Do you value telling the truth? Do you detest lying ? Boy Howdy do I have some news for you. OCD is going to try and convince you that YOU LIED. Whether it was on a chastity pledge to get a free sandwich or in a conversation you just HAD. This links a lot with false memory OCD.

Another aspect is OCD makes us doubt we have OCD and tries to convince us we have any other diagnosis under the sun and we are obviously faking our OCD.

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Sexual Orientation OCD; It is as it is called. Sexual Orientation OCD is what happens when your brain goes ‘hold on what if you’re not this orientation what if you are THAT’. It doesn’t matter where on the LGBT umbrella you fall you will have OCD trying to convince you otherwise. From compulsive staring at members of the same/opposite gender to compulsively reassuring or checking with yourself to ensure that ‘ no no you are in fact THIS orientation.’ 

This can range in behavior from binge watching porn, staring compulsively to check that there is OR is NOT attraction,self checking past experiences and memories, analyzing your clothing and your lifestyle in painful and intricate methods.

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False Memory OCD; False memory OCD is basically your brain sitting you in a noir interrogation room, handcuffing you to a chair grilling you. It demands that you did *insert bad thing here*. This can range from anything from something Harm based to pretty much *anything* from other OCD subtypes. Which is quite delightful really.

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Sensorimotor OCD; Sensorimotor OCD is obsessive body responses. These can be ‘ I have to cough really hard and really feel it right in my chest and if I can’t get it right I have to cough until I do’. This can be counting your heartbeats. Trying to check yourself that you in fact have a heart and checking and reassuring that it is still beating. It can be hyper-awareness of swallowing or even swallowing repeatedly. It is anything with selective attention; ie its an automated process but your OCD is forcing you to be aware of it.

Your OCD makes you aware of the sensation of, say, breathing, and then it convinces you that if you stop paying attention to it you will stop breathing. So now you’re horribly aware and focused solely on breathing and breathing alone. It keeps me up most nights with the pounding anxiety fueled by the pressure of ‘if you stop focusing on breathing you will stop breathing completely’ or waiting to feel that last heartbeat in your chest. 

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Existential OCD; You ever feel existential ? Existential OCD is like having a very aggressive existential crisis that turns you into NEEDING answers IMMEDIATELY. This can look anything from hours panic scrolling the net to panic inducing anxiety because you don't know what happens after death. The thoughts are like foghorns on a misty sea.

This sounds basic and the only example i can give is as a teeny tiny 7 year old I had a panic attack in bed screaming that ‘ what if im a dinosaur and im asleep and i wake up and my whole family is GONE’.

To be fair I did like dinosaurs a lot.

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Harm OCD; This is pretty self explanatory but I will give more details. Harm OCD is OCD demanding that you will/could/can/may have/might harmed yourself/others/any living creature and that you alone are responsible. 

This means anything from getting anxious driving over crosswalks because ‘what if you dont see one and hit someone and its all your fault and you hit someone go back and make sure you havent hit anyone’ to ‘im holding a knife so im going to accidentally stab someone’ to ‘ i didnt see my cat this morning and now im at work and think she must be dead and i am responsible for her demise.’

 It can be as simple as ‘if i use a pencil i will stab myself in the eye’ or as complex as ‘ i may accidentally say a slur’/ ‘ i am going to say this horrible thing out loud if i cannot control myself.’ It can also be images of terror or racist/sexist/ableist jokes in your mind that repeat like a broken record.

(Please note from section 1 that this is extremely anxiety provoking and not something you would do. OCD preys on what we respect the most.)

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pOCD; Tumblr listen the fuck up because I am tired of seeing people get called shit on this website for having this mental illness. People who experience pOCD are not pedophiles, they do not get any pleasure or benefit. The thoughts and images are meant to induce harm to the person experiencing them. Children are normally the trigger for this and the resulting images can be very graphic. Again you aren’t attracted to children- thoughts of them getting harmed hurt you so your OCD makes you see them.

Know this so you can advocate for folks with pOCD in real life. Remember we are here. We are suffering and we are terrified of your children.

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Poisoning others/or in your food; Life isn’t medieval anymore but sometimes OCD demands we have a food taster or that we obsessively worry that we may kill someone with our cooking. Personally I struggle with colorblindness so I am constantly fretful over cooking any sort of meat so it’s difficult for me to cook it.

 However this also comes as; obsessive horrible thoughts of your cooking kill someone or that you have somehow/accidentally poisoned someone’s food (even if you haven’t touched it or been within a foot of it ) or that someone has poisoned YOUR food even if no one has touched it except you. You’re going to be picking apart your food or unable to eat out at all.

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Emotional Contamination: It’s similar to magical thinking and this terrifying prospect of mind readers. Emotional contamination can manifest as anything from intense worry over somehow gaining someone else’s negative personality traits.

 Or that somehow by interacting with any role of someone horrible will make YOU somehow also responsible for the horribleness.  There is usually a person or a type of person that is a trigger, but it can also be location based.

 This is one subtype where magical thinking and superstition are apparent.  

For instance; as a teen if a male was in my space or had physical contact;like shaking hands,giving a high five, being in my room etc. I would have to go around and physically touch all the objects that I perceive they may have also touched as a way to cancel out their presence. 

This includes wiping off myself to negate even the touch of family members. It really hurts peoples feelings, my father was especially hurt by this.

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Physical Contamination: This goes beyond physical dirt and grime. Most of us dont have spotless homes because if you’re having a fist fight with your brain everyday cleaning falls by the wayside just like it would for anyone else. Physical contamination holds 2 things: physical contamination obsessions AND compulsive cleaning behaviors/rituals. We believe that a small amount of a contaminate can cover large surfaces.

 Oh, and did I mention its not JUST dirt/germs/viruses. The list is expansive but heres a mixed bag of what they can be: sticky substances,dead animals,glitter (FUCKING GLITTER),negative words or language,colors, numbers, surfaces in general, food, people, and activities.  There is also a hyper responsibility to protect yourself and others from ‘contamination’.

Strangely there is a magical separation between the contaminated world and the ‘clean’ one. Spaces designated as clean would be a bedroom/bathroom/workspace where you are most active. That space is where the compulsions and intrusive thoughts occur. Its not I MUST CLEAN EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Otherwise I would be working cleaning houses because why the hell not amiright?

A real world example from a colleague would be a young man with physical contamination OCD is struck with such intrusive thoughts about cleaning that they refuse to allow anyone in their room or any animals in their home. But they are not able to even flush the toilet, take out the trash, wash dishes, or do garbage because of their intrusive thoughts.

The most famous would be compulsive hand washing but I feel it is important to also note OTHER aspects of physical contamination because everyone sees the hand scrubbing stereotype. 

Other compulsions include intricate rituals, not touching the floor (i played X-treme the floor is lava during college. I couldnt let my feet touch the floor because it was ‘dirty’),excessive showering (2-8+ hour showers guys, 8 hour showers. Thats what we’re talking about.)

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Relationship OCD: This comes as no surprise that yes you will have intrusive thoughts that you are somehow harming/ will harm/ may accidentally harm your significant other. Whether that be by physical or emotional means. It can look like ‘ I may have lied to her about how much I love her’, ‘ i may not actually love her and I may be leading her on’, and ‘ I must be corrupting her’. These can extend to certain physical activities with false memory OCD as a cherry on top. A great finishing garnish to leave you feeling absolutely dismayed and unable to trust your own perception.

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Scrupulosity: Religion! Whatever that may be! Its a thing with OCD.  With Scrupulosity obsessive thoughts run all over the board from; you committed a sin and forgot about it you monster to having to pray continuously/ a certain time/ until its right. What is right?Ask OCD that’s the only person who knows. 

We are fairly certain my grandfather had OCD because he went to church for every single Catholic Mass. Every single day. Every. Single. Day.  That’s not a healthy amount of attendance(I'm calling you out posthumously because I care Robert!). This can also look like: praying a certain amount of times. Praying until you do it ‘right’. Confessing every single potential sin. Cataloguing and dwelling over ‘sinful’ things. 

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Symmetry or Just Right OCD: Symmetry OCD is the runner up for ‘most likely recognized on tv shows’ award.

Symmetry OCD convinces you that if *insert thing here* isnt symmetrical or ‘just right’ (a magical position or number of objects that makes 0 logical sense) that something bad will happen.

This can range from the known; rearranging things. But it also looks like buying more objects until you reach the right amount and even throwing out objects if theres ‘too many’.

It can range from ‘the walls are percievably not straight so now i avoid that room at all costs otherwise i will be trapped traveling the edges of the wall with my eyes otherwise it will fall in and murder us ALL.’ to ‘ this historical bust is one inch off to the left and now all i see is visions of it breaking against the ground.’

So that is what I have time for. 9 pages on subtypes and basic information. If you find yourself wanting me information all of this is easily accessible online. So go, be free and dont ever compare people to Monk again. Write Batman and Scott Summers with OCD. Give us ACTUAL representation and not throw away joke lines. We are here. Our suffering isnt funny. We deserve representation too.

[lunzbaku]

Kissing Distance

“You are talking mad shit for someone at kissing distance.”

Summary: Shiketsu High School partnered up with U.A. High for joined training week. Bakugou gets paired with F/N, a snarky student from Shiketsu High who ends up making Bakugou ~flustered~

Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x F/N

A/N: POV change a little

Ugh. Great. The week i’ve been dreading has finally tumbled upon me.

Joined training week with U.A. Highs Hero Program. I was not looking forward to this week at all. If you couldnt tell already. Its fine though. Right?

I couldn’t care less about anyone from U.A. They all seemed so egotistical and too full of themselves, well at least from what i’ve heard.

“Today is the first day of training and let me tell you we have a long week ahead of ourselves.” Our teacher tells us as we enter U.A. Highs training center. We see Class 1-A standing near Eraser Head. They actually seemed nice.

~~~

“This is Shiketsu Highs hero program, please be respectful as we give you your assigned partners for this week.”

This isnt what you expected at all. We are going to be paired up with someone we havent talked to before? Great. Just great.

“Todoroki is paired with Yoarashi.”

“Bakugou with L/N.”

You were mentally freaking out. Theres no way you were going to be working with U.A.s biggest hothead. Yoarashi and Camie told you all about how he was rude and never shut his mouth. You’ve seen him on the news from when he got kidnapped by the League of Villians, when a Villian tried attacking him and how he won his schools sport festival.

You wanted to see the bright side of things. Being paired up with Bakugou couldn’t be such a bad thing, you thought.

“Thats it. I’ve explained the objectives and the teams, we will start in 20. Take this time to mingle with everyone and get to know your partner a little more.”

You were standing next to Yoarashi as he walks over to Todoroki and the rest of Class 1-A. For some reason you couldnt help being a little excited that Bakugou was your partner. He wasn’t bad looking, you kinda thought he was cute.

“Hi! Im F/N L/N!” You interupt Yoarashi before he gets to shout at Todoroki about his soba preference. You had your hands behind your back as you smile at everyone.

“You can call me Kirishima-“

“Oooo! Your hero costume is so cute!! Im Mina!! I wish I got you as my partner you’re so pretty.” Mina exclaims as she plays with your hair. You giggle.

“And thats Mineta... I’d stay away from him. Hes a pervert.” Mina tells you as both of you walk around the training center as she introduced you to everyone.

“So what about Bakugou?” You ask looking around for him. Mina stops walking and stares at you.

“Oh, Bakugou. He hates everyone but i’ll introduce you guys.” Mina grabs your hand heading over to where ‘bakusquad’ were.

“Im F/N, Im also your partner for this week.” You introduce yourself again, this time putting your hand out for him to shake. He looks up at you then looks over to your hand. He scoffs and gets up from where he was sitting.

“Whatever. Just dont drag me down.” He says walking away from you and everyone else. Your eyes widen at this rude interaction. So shocked that you havent even moved a muscle.

“I dont like to leave people hanging.” Sero laughs as he got up to shake your hand that was still awaiting Bakugous. You feel your ears heat up when Sero shook your hand.

“Well thats Bakugou for you.” Denki said.

“Yeah! Hes like that all the time, don’t take it too personal. Trust me. Been there done that.” Kirishima told you as you giggled.

You honeslty should’ve expected this coming from Katsuki Bakugou.

~~~

The 20 minutes of chatting were up. We all weee next to our assigned partners and were about to begin warm ups. They were designed to help us get closer to our partners and really understand each others quirks, which will help us for the final challenge later this week.

Bakugou and I were in a somewhat secluded section of the training center. All we had to do was get to the other end of the town and take Deku and his partners flag and return back to our station. It was to test our partnership skills mostly. We were given 10 minutes to plan. Shouldn’t be a problem.

“Damn Deku.”

You heard Bakugou huff under his breath.

“Listen. I have an idea. All we have to do is-“

“You dont go around telling me what to do, you damn extra.” Bakugou sneered.

Oh hell no. You werent about to let some egotistical brat talk to you like that. No way.

“Suki, maybe if you weren’t so hotheaded this could’ve been easier.” You sneer back inching closer to him.

“Whatever. Damn woman. Whats your plan.” He huffed again. A smile was drawn on your face. You told Bakugou your plan.”

“Sounds pretty stupid to me.” Bakugou told you. You let out a huff.

“Well. I dont assume you could do any better?” You say back.

“Of course I can. Your plan was complete shit.” Bakugou says. This time inches away from your face.

“You’re talking mad shit for someone whos kissing distance.” You licked your lips.

Bakugou steps back an inch. Not realizing how close the two of you were standing. He felt his checks heat up. He abruptly turns his head away to hide his red cheeks. You both hear the loud noise of the alarm indicating the 10 minutes were up.

“Tsk. We’ll use your shitty plan.” He huffs again while walking away from you.

You cant help but smirk.

You just got Katsuki Bakugou flustered.

A/N: Hey. Its me again. Sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors I was in a rush to post this!!

[idjitlili]

Hi its me! Could you write something for the cinnamon roll known as Lindir?

I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye

Lindir x elf!reader

Summary:growing up as Gandalf's adopted daughter ,being apart of the company only to pass through Rivendell,only to joke about doing your best friend,Lindir.

Word count:1200+

It was no secret that Gandalf wasnt your real father, you both looked nothing a like. However this didnt stop him loving you like you were his actual child,you werent sure if wizard could have children. You wondered if he ever got horny,it disturbed you but you did wonder. Anyways you didnt know your parents ,they were killed by orcs ,Gandalf found you crying as babe ,and thats all you know. You were an elf ,mostly Thorin didnt like that very much when he found out.

So how you ended up in the company of Thorin Oakenshield was; simply because Gandalf didnt want to leave you with the elves again ,or leave you at home where you could be in more danger.

You were more than capable of defending yourself,due to your many vists with Elrond they had trained you very well. You also became best friends with Lindir since he was responsible for most of your training ,plus being your tutor. Lindir was also abandoned as a child but was taken in by Elrond. He grew to become a marchwaden.

Lindir was a kind soul,nothing like the elf which lived in greenwood ,suck up assbutt's in your opinion. Don't get me started on Thranduil with those slug eyebrows,his son looks older than him,he has a stick shoved right up his anus.

Lindir didnt really like having to talk to strangers or infront of large crowds,he was shy,but he wouldn't let anyone know thing. However you did know,you felt exactly the same. Lindir was pretty much your only friend growning up,you weren't social compared to the other elves.

Oh god the first time you had gotten a little drunk with Lindir was at feast wherethey were handing out wine ,keep in mind Gandalf was out of town ,and you had stolen a bottle ans dragged Lindir to your balcony to drink it. Of course the elvish stuff it doesnt take alot for you to get drunk.

 After that you had both snuck out to a river and with that Lindir just wanted to splash his feet in the side. However you had a different idea,whilst he wasnt looking you had stripped yourself from dress  before jumping in.  He was too busy looking at his bare feet ,when he had looked up and seen you swimming about in just your underclothes.

"y/n! Get out now,thats dangerous." he had scolded you ,pulling his shoes back on.

"ppft. g-gonna put some dirt in your eye." you sassed the ellon,swimming closer to him only for him to pull you out with ease,onto your feet.

"damn ,you are so strong,I would like to see whatelse you can do..be the scissors to my dwayne johnson..lin I-" You began to admit some feelings only to fall dizzy in Lindir's arms ,not surprising though,before hand you had jumped on your bed ,parkour. Parkour! you must have been shattered, with that he had carried your wet body in his coat to your room. Setting the fireplace a light,placing you in bed with like a million blankets because you were soaking but he didnt want to undress you. In hopes you would warm up.

Aways he was gentleman,and the bestfriend you could ever ask for. Back to now you were in Rivendell with the company of thorin oakenshield.You had been greeted  by Lindir ,who simply sent a nod your way not wanting to anger the dwarves ,if they knew of your close friendship,and soon enough elrond arrived and was like who's hungry.

In which ended up with you sat next to kili ,who sat next to Bofur ,Kili seemed to admire the elves. You picked at the salad ,wheres the lembas bread or chips ,you could do with some potatoes right about now.

"Cant say I fancy myself an elf too thin,high cheekbones not enough facial hair." he spoken up to avoid Dwalins and Thorin killer gazes. "Though that one isnt bad." he gestured to Feren an male ellon,you had giggled ,Bofur nudged him "that is not an elf maiden." Dwalin smirked ,causing the company to burst out with laughter. Kili's cheeks boomed red from embarassment,you patted his back as the laughter died down.

"if it helps ,I know which ellon ,I would rough," you spoke smirking eyeing Lindir who looked back at you confused,you know he heard , you just hope Gandalf didn't ,you look at him and hes still in deep conversation with Elrond ,thank valar. "and who is that miss y/n?" fili had piped up from down the table.

 "the brunette elf next to elrond," you had faced away when you finished ,blushing a little pretending to look at the trees.

Yes it was no lie that you had deep feels for the ellon for many ,many years,but you did not know he felt exactly the same. The whole company had turned to lindir ,some in disgust mostly thorin ,dwalin,others smirking,some blank. Lindir had just smirked knowing you were up to something seeing your posture and gesture  when avoiding his gaze.

"I bet you five coins lass,you wont do anything about it," Bofur had suggested ,the dwarves knew you were shy,and soon enough kili,fili,ori many others had bet on this too,bilbo just watched the scene unfold like that star trek meme ,you know the shocked face. Thorin didnt bet ,not wanting incourage you.

"okay,I accepted." and with that you smirked at the company then looking at Lindir who looked back you with farrowed brows ,as you stood from your seat. Slowly you made your way over to your bestfriend.

"w-what a-" before he could finish you had cupped his cheeks pressing your lips to his soft ones. His face and yours red,knowing your ada had just watched that. "I've wanted to do that for so long." the dwarves look on in shock,not really bilbo or balinbut most of them.

"as have I" he spoke ,you just sent him a wide grin before returning to your seat. "pay up lads." you held your hands out gesturing your pay. "you knew him before this,right?" bilbo questioned you cheekily. "yeah,he was my only friend growning up,i guess he's more now..." your face still red ,your legs shaking you couldnt believe you had just done that. "well lads pay up ,shes got more balls than you gave her credit for." Th0rin commanded ,it was no lie that you had made him hate elves that little bit less.

IN which finally confessing your feelings ,got you a pay check. Yeah you are so bodaciously epic you say Thorin and kili and fili and have a date. You are totally excellent. You meet up with Lindir not very long after the battle of the five armies,and not that many years later you get married in which the whole company come,Bilbo is your maid of honour. Of course Gandalf excepts Lindir as his son in law ,seeing you both grow up together plus he's an angel.

[babysizedfics]

Poor roman :( but that being said I am heka interested in 5

remus humiliates roman in front of jamal (but jamal is a sweetheart)

vote from this concept voting post!

TWs: swearing, emotional humiliation, arguing, remus is generally pretty mean in this - not "unsympathetic" but his behaviour is not ok, brief alcohol mention but it isnt a main feature

first some background info on remus and ro:

roman and remus' friend groups actually run parallel to each other by pure councidence in that theyre the same age and are both in the local queer scene

usually they only run into each other on nights out and avoid each other like the plague... until one of romans friends and one of remus' friends become a very serious couple and the friendship groups merge

remus tends to hang it over romans head whenever they argue or remus just feels like teasing him that he could so so easily spill romans secret littlespace to all his friends

and while roman claims to not care he also really doesnt want that to happen, especially the specific things remus threatens to reveal (namely him calling his cgs mommy and daddy, and his fear of the dark - which remus knows are romans biggest embarrassments)

and remus never USUALLY actually follows through on his threats, he loves to freak roman out but he doesnt mean to be intentionslly cruel.

but one night theyve had an argument recently and remus is out to hurt roman and finally follows through on his threat to reveal romans secrets. in front of jamal

((the actual incident below the cut))

all the friends are walking back from a night out, and remus hangs back from the group to talk to jamal. roman is just glaring at remus and not saying anything and holding jamals hand tightly. remus hasnt embarrassed him too bad so far, just asking jamal questions and referring to roman as his "baby brother" which is so annoying, but the thing is roman can tell hes building up to something

then suddenly remus smirks when he sees a completely pitch black side street thats theyre about to pass by, and he calls out to everyone "hey guys, there's a 24/7 mcdonalds through here and its a shortcut to the bus stop" and everyones like WOO mcdonalds and redirects to go down the side street

and romans heart pounds watching the friends all filter down the street without a second thought, theres no streetlights down there, theres light on the other side quite far away, but before that its SO DARK. and he freezes in place and jamal is tugged back by it and looks back at him. "babe, come on"

romans starting to feel shaky and he literally cant move his feet. his eyes flick between the street and remus' sadistic cocky smirk.

"whats wrong baby bro? you stuck or something?" remus leers with that stupid stupid smirk

and roman HATES him so so much

"ro, what's the matter?" jamal asks

"i- um," roman stutters, trying to keep his voice from shaking too much at the sight of his friends just having DISAPPEARED into the darkness - how are they okay with that?? "i- im not hungry"

"okay well i am, and remus said it was a shortcut anyway so-"

"i-i -- no i can't"

seraphina, romans best friend, looks back and notices whats happening and quickly jogs over (knowing roman is scared of the dark) "hey roma, it's okay we dont have to go down there" she soothes

jamal is supportive but he doesnt get it. he thinks roman is scared of criminals or smth. "i promise theres no one bad down there, hun. and i'll be right next to you the whole time, i'll protect you" and he smiles and tugs romans hand to pull him towards the side street

romans eyes quickly tear up and he panics and rambles "nononono dont please please i cant i cant" in a broken voice and plants his feet firmly on the ground, paralysed with fear

remus starts cackling "ohhhhh thats right~" as if he just remembered. "my baby brother's terrified of the dark, isn't he?"

"f*ck off, re" sera barks, standing between the twins, protective of roman

"wait, are you?" jamal asks sounding surprised. roman doesnt let himself look at him, too busy watching remus warily and knowing thats not all he has planned to embarrass roman

remus goes on, shouting out to jamal over sera's head "he's petrified!" he confirms sounding delighted. "yknow that massive blackout last summer? he cried like a baby. literally sobbing for his daddy patton to make it go away"

theres a brief silence because no, sera and jamal didnt expect remus to refer to patton as romans daddy - they both know roman calls him dad but this is a surprise.

and that one second of silence drags on for ages for roman, all he can hear is his heart pounding in his ears and remus' obnoxious laughter

he is shaking, frozen in shock rather than fear now. for all of remus' teasing threats at home, he didnt expect remus to actually do it. hes devastated and humiliated that remus told to his best friend and especially his BOYFRIEND of all ppl

and honestly he's not even thinking about the pitch black side street right now because the streetlights on the main road are blurred by tears welling in his eyes anyway

"why dont you just leave him alone!" sera hisses furiously after her mild shock

then jamal bounces back rlly stern to remus "yeah i already know about that! roman told me and it was HIS choice to tell me"

roman stares at him in disbelief but jamal is too busy staring daggers at remus to notice

remus looks suddenly offended and frowns. hes clearly hurt that the others dont think its funny "jeez youre both such bores. im just having some fun"

"youre demented if you think thats fun" seraphina growls and shoves remus away towards the sidestreet. remus rolls his eyes and runs ahead to join the others who are all oblivious to that coversation, howling with drunken laughter in the pitch black and jumping out and scaring each other

"f*cking prick" jamal calls after remus, seething

sera quickly throws a concerned look to roman "you okay?"

roman just swallows thickly and looks between seraphina and where he saw remus join the others in the pitch black. his stomach churns at the idea of remus telling more people. "i-is he gonna--"

"im on it" sera nods and starts turning around "i wont let him tell anyone else, roma, promise" then she runs ahead to keep an eye on remus and to give him and jamal some privacy

after a moment jamal turns back to roman looking so worried and holds his hands and asks very gently "babe, can you tell me how youre feeling?"

and roman is teary but he whispers "i - you stuck up for me"

jamal looks suddenly sad and cups romans cheek "of course i did"

"but you said i told you about it. i- i didnt tell you that i-" roman gulps after his voice wobbles "i didnt tell you about it"

and jamal smiles sadly and goes "i know babe... im sorry, i just didnt wanna give him any more power. it seemed like he's held that over you for a while"

suddenly the tears in romans eyes overspill and he doesnt really know why but he can't stop them

jama gasps a little "oh roman, its ok" and just pulls him into a tight hug

roman clings and sniffles, glad that he can hide his tears from his boyfriend even if it is in his neck.

and jamal just strokes his back and whispers "its ok baby, its ok" **

they talk about it quietly as they take the longer, well-lit route instead. roman admits he would never have told jamal abt his fear on his own - and the reason he's been avoiding staying overnight at jamals apartment is bc the one time he did he got so scared of the dark that he couldnt sleep and was just anxious all night but wouldnt wake jamal to tell him

after jamal finds out hes like baby why didnt u tell me its okay and comforts him about it not being embarrassing or childish. then:

"so you do actually want to stay at mine, its just because its so dark that you didnt?"

roman nods shyly "yeah... im sorry i know its a dumb fear i just-"

"its not dumb ro. i meant to say if it works for you, we could leave the hall light on and the door open. its not like i live with anyone who can walk in."

roman blinks "wait you - really? it wont make it hard for you to sleep?"

jamal smiles softly "no hun, honestly i could sleep anywhere. i fell asleep in the middle of the day in the staffroom just last month"

roman laughs, so so so relieved

"so... maybe next time you come over for dinner you could stay the night, yeah?" jamal says with a smile and a blush. he wraps his arm around romans waist and pulls him in, hip to hip

roman bites his lip and blushes. after a moment he suggests shyly "im free tonight..."

and jamal smiles so big, stops walking and puts his arm up to romans chest to stop him too then angles romans jaw down to kiss him

in the near future jamal promises to buy a plain nightlight and always leaves it on for roman when he stays overnight from then on

**side note: roman could never stand anyone calling him baby before because he felt infantilised at school becaus of his undiagnosed adhd. so he sees it as a derogatory name more than anything. but when jamal says it roman feels so warm and respected because he knows jamal would never mean it in that way. so jamal has "baby" rights basically