#which made me think oh she’s finally woken up to what’s happening here

[thursdayg1rl]

Really trying not to get angry at my sister for always forgiving my aunt and talking to her as if nothing happened after every one month long silent treatment..

[marvelwitchergilmore]

Surprise Marriage

Summary: Logan x Fe!Reader -> When you and Logan receive some...surprising news, it leads to a lot of unanswered questions.

Disclaimer: One or two swear words here and there. Mostly fluff, chaos, little angst, yearning, kissing and a happy ending. Not Proof Read.

The morning, so far, had been slow for Logan. 

Which, thankfully, due to the last couple of years, wasn’t out of the ordinary. Sure, a kid or two might forget to have done their homework or the coffee filter hadn’t been changed. But other than the small, common, everyday mishaps, everything had been pretty normal. 

But somehow, when Logan woke up, something felt off. 

Maybe it was the quiet hallways, maybe it was the fact he hadn’t seen any other professors in the break room or around the school, or maybe it was the fact that when he walked into the Professor's office, everyone looked at him with…worry. 

“What is it? What’s going on?”

“Logan, I think it’s best if you sit down.”

Logan looked around everybody and they all looked worried, too. Not “someone’s dead” worried, but worried enough to make him feel uneasy. 

“What’s going on?”

“Have you seen Y/n today?”

Logan shook his head. “She had a late night. She’s probably still sleeping.”

Professor X looked at Storm. “Go and get her for me, please.”

Storm nodded and made her way out of the door and towards your bedroom. Meanwhile, Logan was still confused. 

“Charles, what’s going on?”

The man took a small sigh and looked at the papers on his desk before looking back up to Logan. 

“Come on, clearly everyone else knows. What is it?”

The Professor went back and forth with himself for a minute before finally looking back up. “I suppose I should tell you. You’re married, Logan.”

Logan laughed. “Excuse me?”

“I received these papers this morning from a law firm in Oklahoma. It seems it took them a while to find an address for you both.”

“Both? What?”

“Here, take a look for yourself.” The Professor pushed the papers to the edge of his desk where Logan took them with caution and a lot of confusion. 

“What the hell? When were these even..drawn up? Better yet, who’s my wife?”

“Well, that would be the other question except-”

Just as the Professor was about to finish his sentence, the door to his office opened and Storm walked in with you not far behind. Everyone looked at you…worriedly. Like they knew something you didn’t. 

Logan looked annoyed as he flipped through a couple sheets of paper but when he saw you, he held the same expression but only for a minute then it turned into…into something else. Something you couldn’t quite put your finger on. 

Then you remembered. 

It had been laundry day. 

And you wore one of his shirts to bed. 

Standing in his t-shirt and some plaid pyjama shorts that you found in the back of your wardrobe, your hair down and slightly messy from having only just woken up, you looked around everyone. 

“What’s going on?”

“Well, Y/n-”

“Take a look at this.” Logan handed you the pile of paper he had been reading, and with a slightly tired and confused look, you read through it. 

What was it meant to be? A news article? A government contract? A kid’s essay who’s handwriting they couldn’t read…again?

But no. 

It was anything but. 

Well, maybe a government contract…of sorts. 

“This is a marriage licence.” You spoke aloud. “Logan, why am I looking at a marriage licence at eight in the morning? Oh my god, are Jean and Scott finally getting hitched. About time.”

“No,” Logan said. “It’s ours.”

“What?”

“It’s ours. We’re married.”

You stopped reading. Even if you had pretended to do so, all the words on the page suddenly became blocks of ink that you couldn’t make out. 

“What?”

Then the Professor started to explain. “We were hoping one of you could explain this to us, though if neither of you wish to, that’s completely fine. What happens between a husband and wife is none of our-”

“When did this even happen?” You asked Logan. 

“I don’t know.”

“A law firm in Oklahoma sent it over. Apparently it’s taken them a while to find your address.”

You thought for a moment. Yourself and Logan hadn’t been in Oklahoma for nearly ten months. And you certainly didn’t get married. At least, not from memory. 

“I need to sit down.”

Logan pushed out the chair beside him with his foot and you fell into the softer leather. You had just woken up and all of a sudden you felt like you wanted to sleep for at least a month. 

“We’re married? Are you sure it’s ours? Maybe they got the addresses mixed up and…I don’t know. Got it wrong?”

Logan leaned back and pressed his hand to the side of his face. “Flipped to the back page.”

And so you did. 

There was your name. And Logan’s. Signed and dated. 

You were married to Logan. 

Logan had become your husband as of ten months ago. 

You had become Logan’s wife. 

“I think I’m gonna puke.”

“You’re not pregnant, are you?” Scott said. Jean hit him on the arm. “What?”

“Hard to not be a little offended at that.” Logan said, half under his breath, half to you. 

“Do either of you know when this happened?”

You shook your head, still trying to read the pieces of paper in front of you. When could this have-

“The library.”

“What?” 

Logan sat up. “We signed for a package. What kind of delivery company has us sign a marriage contract instead?”

“I don’t know but it had to be there. That’s the only time we ever…wrote our names, signed a piece of paper. It could have been this.”

“We would have noticed if it said “MARRIAGE LICENCE” at the top of the page.”

Then the bell rang. 

“We…should pick this up later. For now, let's just try and go about today as normal.”

You could only nod in agreement. And as everyone left, the Professor turned to both you and Logan who were sitting facing each other in your chairs. 

“I’ll give you both some time.”

Logan nodded a small thank you and waited until the door closed behind Xavier before he spoke. 

You were silent. Still processing. Your heart was like rapid fire against your chest and your vision was slowly losing focus on the paper in front of you. 

Logan pulled the paper from your hands and placed it on the desk before shuffling closer and holding onto both of your hands. 

“Hey, hey, look at me.” One of Logan’s hands came to rest by the side of your face. “Just breathe. I can hear your heartbeat from here. Just…take a deep breath.”

“We’re married, Logan.” Your voice was quieter than usual. 

“I know.”

“We’re married.”

Logan nodded. “I know.”

“What are we going to do?”

“That one I don’t know. What do you want to do?”

You shrugged. “What are we meant to do? By all technicality…we’re married. Husband and Wife. According to this piece of paper, I’ve been a fraud to the government by not going by Howlett.”

“So we…we get a divorce?”

“How? Don’t there have to be…grounds for getting divorced?”

“So, we tell them it was a mistake.” Logan offered. “I’m sure we’ll be divorced as quick as we found out we were- are married.”

You could only nod. 

Logan rubbed a thumb over each of your knuckles. “Hey, we’ll be okay. It’ll all be fine. Hey, talk to me. What’s going on?”

“I woke up and found out I’m a wife with a husband. That’s what’s going on. Jesus, are the lights always this bright in here?”

You covered your closed eyes with one hand, trying your best to stop the pounding in your head. 

“How can you be so calm about this?”

Logan shrugged. “Figure you’re freaking out enough for the both of us.”

That made you laugh a little. 

“Come on, we need to get to class. And you need to get dressed. Unless you want to teach in your pyjamas.”

You looked down at yourself. “Oh, yeah. Sorry about using your t-shirt. Laundry day.”

Logan smiled. “It’s okay. Keep it. It looks better on you anyway.”

Hours later, you found yourself in a pair of jeans you fished from the bottom of your semi-fresh clothes pile and decided to keep Logan’s t-shirt on. A, because it’s one of the most comfortable things you’ve worn, and B, it was the only clean top you had. 

And after spending all day teaching classes, you found yourself going through each of your dirty items and throwing them into the washing machine, being careful to make sure there were no sneaky bright or dark colours that made their way into a wash they shouldn’t have been in. 

“Hey.”

You turned to find Storm waiting by the door before walking inside. 

“Hey.”

“How are you feeling?”

“After teaching a bunch of teenagers all day? Exhausted.” You said with a small laugh. And Storm chuckled for a moment before walking around you and leaning on the wall so she was facing you as you unloaded your dirty laundry into the machine. 

“I know that feeling but that wasn’t why I was asking.”

You nodded. You knew that. “I don’t know. It’s just…new information.”

“Have you seen Logan today?”

You shook your head. “Not since this morning. Though he did leave a coffee on my desk when I got back to my classroom after lunch.”

Storm smiled. Between herself and the others (including the kids - though they were yet to find out) Storm thought the best thing to happen was for yourself and Logan to get married. Okay, maybe not in the way it happened. But it was a positive thing. 

They had been watching you and Logan for years, becoming friends, becoming teammates, trusting each other, finding your own…ways together. Like with the coffee. Logan only did that with you. Or how, despite only knowing him a week, seemed to know more about him than anyone else did. 

You were both so close with each other than some of the kids in the school had questioned your relationship status with each other. 

“Have you talked about what you’re going to do?”

“What can we do? The most reasonable, and sensible, thing to do is get a divorce.”

Storm crossed her arms. “Have you talked about maybe…staying together?”

“What?”

Storm shrugged. “It’s an idea. Maybe this is a sign telling you both that there’s something more than just friendship. I mean, going off what you’re currently wearing…that is his, isn’t it?”

You looked down. 

“It’s laundry day. He let me wear it.”

“And are you going to give it back, or did he tell you to keep it?”

You were silent and Storm watched as small patches of blush warmed your cheeks. She had her answer. 

“Look, all I’m saying is, maybe this is a sign. Maybe this is your chance to see if there is something more between you and Logan.”

“If there was, something would have happened by now.”

Oh, how Storm wished that was true. 

But sometimes it was agony watching you both together. Like how at Christmas, you fell asleep against him by the fire and Logan smiled. It wasn’t a big grin, but he smiled. Or how you were the only one Logan would let near him when he had been impaled in his shoulder by a six foot rod. Or how you looked at him. And how he looked at you right back. 

There was more than just friendship. A lot more. 

“Just think about it.”

And with that she left. And you were left wondering. 

What the hell was there to think about? You and Logan were friends, sure, but…more? Sure, when you first met him, it felt instant. Instant likeness, instant trust. And that never came easy for you. Or Logan for that matter. And, yeah, maybe once or twice you had thought something could have happened. 

Like the night in the motel room, funnily enough, in Oklahoma. 

It had been one bed and you had both woken up and turned to face each other. You had both been talking for a good twenty minutes when the conversation lulled and you were both there. You felt something. You couldn’t put your finger on it but you felt something. But everything was cut short when the owner of the Motel came to knock on the door so he could fix the leaky tap in the bathroom. 

Or like the night when you all went camping with the kids. 

Somehow, you had found yourself sharing a tent with Logan even though it had been planned for you and Storm to bunk. 

You teased Logan on how happy he was to be bunked with you and not Scott. And for a split second, you could have sworn you saw him blush. Though it was probably out of embarrassment of your teasing. 

But that couldn’t have been something. It couldn’t have meant anything, could it?

“Couldn’t sleep?”

Logan turned and found the last person he expected to be standing by the door. 

“Scott?”

“Figured you’d still be awake and lo and behold, I was right.”

Logan watched as he walked inside and sat across from him. “Have you come to say something, or just be a dick the whole time?”

Scott chuckled, “Maybe a bit of both.”

Logan raised his eyebrows and took another drink. 

“Have you talked to her?” Logan knew exactly who he was talking about. But he shook his head. 

“Not since this morning.”

“Have you talked about what you’re going to do?”

“What do you want, pal?”

Well, he wasn’t being Logan if he didn’t want to skip the pleasantries. 

“I think you and Y/n should give this thing a chance.”

“Excuse me?”

Scott smirked a little. “Come on, you can’t tell me you’ve not thought about it with her. How close you two are, how you both seem to know what the other does before they even do it. And call it what you want, I think this is the perfect excuse.”

“Perfect excuse?”

“To see if something can actually happen between you two.”

“And why should it?”

“Because you’re in love with her.”

For some reason, that felt like a punch to the gut to Logan. 

“Look, bub, I know-”

“Logan, the way you look at her isn’t the way a friend looks at another friend. I’ve seen the way you look at her. We all have. From day one, that girl has been something else for you, and even if you don’t know it, the rest of us do. You’re in love with her. You always have been.”

“No, I’m-”

“You can’t deny it, Logan.” Scott told him. “Eventually something is going to snap and it might be too late. So, you’ve done the whole relationship a little backwards. So what? You’d only get divorced anyway if it doesn’t work out. But you need to do something about your feelings, Logan.”

Logan had to laugh. “I think I’d know if I was in love with someone.”

Scott sighed. Did he seriously have to paint Logan a fucking picture. 

“You make her coffee every day. You bring her lunch and sit with her every day. She is the first person you go to when you finally want to ask someone for help. And I know for a fact she is the first person you tell anything to. She knows more about you than anyone else in this building does, and that is down to you and everything you have shared with her. Anytime anyone looks in her direction, you aren’t too far behind her.”

“I saw you, that day, when the Mayor and his brother turned up at the school.” Scott continued. “The way his brother was looking her up and down…Logan you were by her side in less than ten seconds and we all saw the look you gave him. That man left the Professor’s office trembling. He also never looked in y/n’s direction again.”

“What’s your point?”

“That you were jealous, Logan. And that, for as much as you can and probably will try and deny it. You love her.”

The conversation lulled for a moment. 

“All I’m saying is at least think about it. We’ve all seen you together. Maybe it’s time you finally noticed yourself.”

Logan didn’t see you until the next day when he caught you folding laundry in your room. 

“Want some help?”

You turned around and saw him. “Sure. You can start with that pile.”

Logan entered your room, a little more awkward than usual, and started folding clothes. 

“How are you…how are you feeling?”

You shrugged. “Like normal, I guess. What about you?”

“Yeah, fine.”

IT was a slight struggle after that but conversation flowed a little easier eventually. 

That was something Logan always loved when it came to being around you. He wasn’t the biggest one for talking to people but with you, it was easy. Probably helped by the fact you could somehow change topics at lightning speed. 

Conversations with you were never, ever boring. 

Even when they were probably meant to be. 

And it wasn’t long before your fear surrounding being married…faded. 

Around a week later, a leak had sprung on one side of the school which meant having to bunk rooms for a while. Of course, all the kids went with their friends. 

But it also meant you had to bunk with someone too. 

“You can bunk with me.” Logan told you. 

You nodded. “Finally sharing a room. Wow, we’re really moving generations in this relationship.”

“After you, wife.”

This became a common theme, until the weight of the words settled down on both of you once more. 

A divorce lawyer had picked up your case. 

It would take a couple of weeks to get all the papers sorted, but yourself and Logan would be divorced by the middle of the following month. 

Like nothing had ever happened. 

Except, it just so happened, that was when something did happen. 

Scott and Storms’s words had been playing on Logan’s mind and yours. Not helped by the fact it wasn’t the last time someone held that kind of conversation with either of you. 

You found yourself in a similar conversation with Scott, whilst Logan had a similar conversation with Jean. 

And then the Professor approached you both, without the other one knowing. 

Except he hadn’t been to sit down and talk to you about it. He just made small comments in passing that left you both questioning more and more about your true feelings. 

And then Logan found you in the library one night. 

“Here you are. You didn’t come to bed so…what are you doing?”

Standing close to the top of the book ladder, you were scanning through different books with a flashlight.

“The main light is too big and the fire’s light doesn’t reach this far back.”

Logan blinked. “That…still didn’t answer my question.”

“I’ve got a new semester of lessons set out. I wanted to get a head start on finding the books needed.”

Logan looked around. “You got a list?”

You looked at him. “Logan, it’s past midnight. Go to bed.”

“That’s not what I asked. Where’s your list? I know you’ve got one.”

Sighing, you reached into your back pocket and held it out. He walked over and plucked it from your fingers. 

“There’s twenty six books on this list.”

“And I currently have three. If you still want to help, any that you find, just place them on the table behind the sofa.”

And so he did. 

By two in the morning, you’d both found twenty three books in total. Just three more left. 

“Is this the right edition?”

“Let me see.”

Logan walked over to where you were still standing on the ladder and handed it up to you. You flipped through a couple of the first pages as you slowly climbed backwards down the stairs. 

“Yeah, this is the right one. The last two should be on a lower shelf.”

As you finally reached the last few steps, you felt your foot slip and your knees crashed against the bars. Except, instead of falling backwards, or rolling with the ladder itself, Logan’s hands steadied you. 

“You alright?”

You took a second to breathe. Having your life flash before your eyes for a couple of seconds really knocks the wind out of you. 

“Yeah, yeah,” you laughed a little. “I’m fine.”

You turned in Logan’s arms and was met with his broad and solid chest as his hands held you at your waist. 

“Good,” Logan laughed a little, too. 

The sound of your life had always been like music to his ears. 

A comfort, even when the moment hadn’t been all that comfortable beforehand. 

And for that moment, time seemed to still. Any silence that had been in the room was slowly becoming defending, until your hearing focused on his breathing. The steady rise and fall of his chest and the quickening of your own heartbeat. 

The flashlight that you had held in your hands had rolled somewhere onto the floor when you slipped on the ladder. 

But you had never seen Logan so…clearly. 

You had known him for so long and had even spent nights and mornings in the same bed together. But for the first time, you were committing him to memory. Part of you felt like these moments would go, once the papers came through. That even if neither of you wanted it, something would inherently change between you both once the papers were signed and delivered. 

But something in that moment was changing too. 

Like how you were realising you never wanted to be away from him. That the best place on this earth was right where you were. In his arms, his eyes on you, and yours on him. 

You found yourself leaning in forward, almost as if, if you didn’t get closer to him, he might disappear. 

And he was doing the same. 

One of his hands came up to your face as he rubbed a couple of strands of your hair between his fingers before he slowly pushed it back and let his gaze wash over you. 

He was committing you to memory, too. 

His eyes locked on yours once more, just as his other hand trailed down your waist and to your hip. 

You fell closer to him. 

Or maybe he pulled you closer. 

Either way, you never wanted to be without his touch. 

What felt like an eternity later, you finally felt his lips against yours and yours against his. 

It started off slow. This was new territory for you both when it came to the other. It was slow, full of mixed feelings and…something else. 

Then it snapped. 

Logan pushed a little harder and you felt your legs hit the back of the book ladder just as his hand and arm snaked around and up your back, holding you flush against him as your own arms pulled him closer to you. 

Logan braced the hand that had been by your face, by the side of your head, holding onto the book ladder, keeping you both steady. 

And he felt your breath hitch as he stepped into you. 

Before you knew it, you were braced against one of the bars on the ladder as Logan’s lips went from yours, across your jaw and down the column of your neck. A small grunt escaped him as your own fingers scratched through the back of his hair and down the back of his neck. 

However, just as his lips returned to yours and his hands slipped under the hem of your t-shirt– his t-shirt, as your own started reaching for the hem of his…a clock went off. 

“W-w-w-w-w-wait. Wait. Stop.”

“Is everything okay?”

You swallowed. “Yes…no. I don’t know. We shouldn’t be doing this.”

Logan wanted to ask “Why? Why shouldn't we?”. But instead, lowered his head. He knew why. 

“You’re right…you’re right.”

Your own temple came to rest against his for a few moments, neither of you wishing to leave the moment just yet. 

“We should go…before someone comes in.”

“It’s two in the morning, who is going to come in?”

“I don’t want to leave.”

“Then don’t.”

You stayed quiet for a long time, feeling Logan’s fingers draw circles over your skin. Eventually, the only sound you heard was his heartbeat and his breath, slowly matching your own. 

But no matter how much of you told you to stay, you tried your best to fight it. 

You and Logan were friends. Friends who were about to get a divorce from a marriage neither of you could remember fully consenting to. 

“Goodnight, Logan.”

Reluctantly, you stepped out of his arms, his light grip on your hand not letting go until you were both too far apart to hold on any longer, and made your way through the school until you came across an empty room. 

It was the smaller quiet space that overlooked the back of the school. Perfect for the nights when too much noise was keeping you up at night. 

Except, it wasn’t noise keeping you awake. 

It was your own mind, relieving the one thing you thought you would never do with Logan. The one thing you wanted most to keep going. The one thing you would never forget. 

When Logan woke the next day, part of him thought it was all a dream. But even he couldn’t have dreamed up anything from the night before and have it still feel so real in the morning. 

Then he didn’t see you for three days. 

Save for one moment when he brought a box of your things from his room, to yours. You opened the door, wearing another one of his t-shirts. One that went missing months ago. One that he had seen on your at least a dozen times since. One that he felt he was truly seeing for the first time, on you. 

The exchange, coming from the both of you together, couldn’t have felt anything more than awkward. 

And then another moment hit. 

You didn’t close the door. 

He didn’t know what to say. 

All he knew was that he wished he was back with you, in the library. 

And you were wishing the same thing right back. 

“I should-”

“You should-”

A small, awkward laugh came from both of you before eventually you shut the door, wishing you had enough confidence to open it back up and call after him. 

Two days later, Logan hadn’t seen you at all. 

And a morning meeting, with Storm going to get you from your bed, led to Logan realising why he hadn’t seen you. 

“She’s not there?”

Logan turned immediately. “What?”

“Where is she?”

“I don’t know. She’s not in her room or any other place she usually is this early in the morning.”

“Doesn’t she have classes to teach?” Scott asked. 

“She doesn’t teach Wednesday and Thursday.” Logan told him. 

And it wasn’t long before Logan heard his name being called behind him by Xavier as he marched his way out of the office and to every room he could think you would be. 

You were nowhere to be found. It was almost like you hadn’t been there for weeks. The books you had taken out – the ones Logan had helped you find – were piled neatly in your bedroom. On your desk, you had a small wicker basket filled with letters and postcards, all arranged in date order, the newest ones being at the front. 

The pictures you had on your windowsill displayed all the people you loved the most. And included a picture from when you had ambushed him on his birthday. He rarely, if ever, took a photo. 

But he smiled, albeit a little awkwardly, with you. 

“Where could she have gone?”

Logan looked around your room. You wouldn’t have just gotten up and left for good. You loved teaching your kids too much, despite whatever else had happened. 

Then Logan saw the framed pictures on the wall, just across from your bed. 

“I’ll check with Cyerbro. She couldn’t have gone far.”

“She could be half way across the world by now!”

Logan shook his head. “But she’s not.”

A lot of them were confused, but Xavier watched Logan for a moment. 

“Do you know where she is?”

“I have an idea.”

With that, Logan reached for the wall and pulled down one of the smaller frames and carried it out with him.

“Hold on, I’m coming with you.” Storm called out to him. 

“You don’t even know where I’m going.”

“Logan, you look like you’re just about ready to punch a bull. I know, right now, even if you are the last person she wants to see, you are the first person she needs. But that also means I know what you’re going to do and, love you or not, Y/n wouldn’t want you to hurt someone or even yourself to find her.”

And Storm was right. 

And she was right to tag along. 

Because just five hours later, Logan had pulled up outside a local pharmacy. They had received a call on the way; they were heading in the right direction, but they needed to go into the town first. Any chance of finding where she was in the mountains lay where she had been all day. 

And it wasn’t long before Storm had to step in to stop Logan from almost killing the cashier. 

He had been dancing around the question, leading them all on different tangents of conversation about the town and the people in it before finally he got to his answer.

The cashier nodded. “I don’t know where she lives, but Connie might. She knows everything in the town.”

“Where is Connie?”

The cashier pointed out of the door. “In the bakery, across the street.”

“Thank you,” Logan told him, swiping the picture back up from the counter and walking outside. Storm stopped short behind Logan when she saw he wasn’t moving off the sidewalk. 

Then she saw. 

You had just left the building and climbed inside your beaten up, old Jeep Wrangler. You pulled out of your parking spot and drove off down the street. 

And Logan followed. 

However, halfway up the road, he started to recognise the place. He’d been here before, except he was going up the way he would come down and out of the cabin. 

So, he took a turn. 

He was at your cabin ten minutes before you were. Storm had stayed behind in the town to call the others and let them know what was going on. 

“You fixed her up well.”

You jumped at his voice and threw a can of pumpkin puree at his head. Though he managed to catch it before his head made a dent in the can. 

“Jesus, Logan.” Then you realised. “How did you find me?”

“You forget that I know you. The pictures on your wall. They’re a lot more recent.”

You didn’t know what else to say so you turned back to your front door and pushed it open, Logan hurrying after you. 

“Why did you leave?” He called out, placing the can on the side. 

“I didn’t leave.” You called back as you unpacked some of your groceries. 

“You disappeared into thin air but you weren’t abducted. I’d call that leaving.”

“I needed a break, Logan. I needed…time.”

“Time from what?”

“From everything. From you, from marriage, from the school, from the library. It’s like I woke up one morning and, quite literally, everything had changed. One day we were- we were teachers and friends…we were us, Logan. And then…we kissed and…I don’t know what we’re meant to do, Logan.” You dropped your head as you pressed your palms onto the kitchen counter.

“Maybe we’re meant to do nothing.” Logan walked towards you. “Maybe we keep things as they are.”

“What? Single and married?”

Logan shook his head, bringing his hand to pull yours to look at him. 

“Married and together.”

Your lips parted for a moment, your eyes scanning his face, waiting for the joke to have its punchline. 

“So, we did everything a little backwards?” Logan shrugged. “So what.”

“Logan…”

“I love you, y/n.” Logan told you, nothing but seriousness and truth in his eyes. “And I think you love me, too. But you’re scared. And so am I. Do you love me, y/n?”

You were trying your hardest to keep your emotions inside you, but something was failing. “Of course I do.”

“Then we start here, just you and me.”

“If something goes wrong, I can’t lose you. You mean too much to me, Logan.”

Logan smirked. “Good job I can regenerate.”

You scoffed and hit him in the shoulder. “You know what I mean.”

Logan nodded, a faint smile on his face. “I know. You’re not going to lose me, Y/n. You couldn’t ever.”

“Promise me.”

Logan nodded. “I promise. Can I kiss you now?”

Logan didn’t have time to finish his question before your lips met his in a searing kiss, your hands pulling him closer to you whilst his own arms wrapped around you. 

Maybe you had done the whole relationship thing backwards, but that didn’t matter. Not anymore.

Not when you finally had each other for life. 

[avoxrising]

The Feral One • Ch 20

Finnick x Y/N

Series Masterlist Link

I promise we will get into the timer stuff soon but I have to build up the plot first…

Content Warnings - None!

You wake up to Finnick gone, a note left on his pillow.

Got called into training early. Didn’t want to disturb you. I’ll see you at lunch.

Love,

Your fake husband

Why was he in training so early? He said yesterday that his training wouldn’t start till after breakfast.

Maybe he was upset by what happened last night. Maybe he didn’t enjoy it.

You let your thoughts consume you as you lay in bed, completely skipping breakfast and most of your morning schedule.

A knock on your door pulls you from your thoughts.

“Come in,” you sigh to whoever was waiting. You’re surprised to see Boggs enter.

“Miss Y/L/N, do I need to remind you that you have a schedule to follow?” he asks.

“No,” you yawn. “I’m sorry I lost track of time. What time is it anyways?”

“10:34 AM,” Boggs states. “I’ve been instructed to escort you to your doctor’s checkup, which you are very late to.”

Boggs gives you a minute to dress before he’s escorting you to the hospital. He says Coin isn’t happy that you are already disregarding your schedule and is rethinking your living arrangement.

Prim performs your checkup that morning. She clears you for the day and you make your way to the cafeteria to help with lunch prep.

11:30 rolls around and you finally have a chance to see Finnick. Twelve hours felt too long and you were anxious to face him again. He was sometimes hard to read.

“Hey love,” he says as you sit down next to him with your tray. “How was your morning?”

“Meh,” you shrug. “I got reprimanded by Boggs for not following my schedule. I guess that was a serious rule.”

“Sorry about this morning,” Finnick states. “I would have woken you up when they buzzed for me but you look like you needed the sleep.”

“That’s ok,” you sigh, thinking about how sad you were that he wasn’t there when you woke. “Why did they increase your training?”

“Katniss snuck onto a transport that left late last night for District 2,” he explains. “They’re moving up our deployment timeline.”

“Deployment?” you ask, setting your fork down. “You didn’t tell me they were sending you anywhere.”

“Can we talk about this tonight?” he replies.

“I’m not hungry,” you state, abruptly standing with your tray. Finnick calls out for you as you walk away, needing to escape for a bit.

You end up back at the hospital to talk to Prim.

“Could I get an excuse for the rest of the day?” you ask her. “I’m not feeling well.”

“Oh no! Do you need medicine? What’s not feeling well?” she asks.

“I’ve just had a bad day that’s all,” you shake your head. “I can’t mentally handle a schedule today.”

“Why don’t you go chat with Dr. Aurelius for a bit,” Prim suggests. “He’s available now if you want to see him.”

You had never been in therapy before. Dr. Aurelius seemed nice but you didn’t know if you could trust him. What do therapists even do?

“Nice to meet you Miss Y/L/N,” the man states as he enter the room. “I’m Dr. Aurelius. Why don’t we start with how you’re feeling today?”

“Sad,” you reply, unsure of how to properly convey your emotions.

“Do you know why you feel sad?” he asks. “Or what made you feel this way?”

“District 13 makes me sad,” you state as the man writes something down in his notebook. “I have no autonomy here.”

“They allowed you to get married,” he remarks. “Are you happy about that?”

“Meh,” you shrug. “I mean I love Finnick but it was a fake wedding for a propo that we agreed to do so we could be roommates here in 13. He’s lived with me for 5 years now. I skipped my schedule this morning and Coin is already threatening to make us live separately again.”

“I see,” the man comments. “Do you find schedules restricting?”

“I guess I do,” you respond. “I mean I’ve spent my whole adult life on house arrest so I’ve never really been able to make decisions for myself. Having a schedule feels like someone is telling me what to do all the time.”

“That’s understandable,” he comments. “I can excuse you from your schedule for today but you will need to find a compromise with President Coin. I will provide you with a list of options for your schedule so you can maybe pick out what you want to do. I apologize that the list is limited but it’s the best I can do.”

You take the list and agree to meet with him and Coin in the morning to discuss your schedule. In the mean time he gives you a “mentally unstable” bracelet to excuse you for the rest of the day.

The list seems meh. You had no interest in learning about nuclear weapons or the history of Panem, and cafeteria duty wasn’t necessarily your favorite.

Reflection time rolled around and Finnick enters your shared cabin.

“You skipped dinner,” he comments as he throws you an apple. You reluctantly take it and eat a bit to ease his worry.

“You skipped out on telling me about deployment,” you mutter.

“I’m sorry,” he sighs as he moves to sit next to you. “I just didn’t feel like there was a good time to tell you. I was going to tell you before the wedding but you had your breakdown and I didn’t want to worry you.”

“Where are they sending you?” you ask.

“The capital,” he responds. At this answer you burst into tears.

“You can’t leave me,” you sob. Finnick wishes he could pull you into a hug but he knows better than to touch you when you’re upset.

“It will only be for two weeks,” he states. “Three at most.”

“What if you don’t come back?” you hiccup.

“I’ll always come back for you,” he replies.

Taglist:

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*if the tag didn’t work please check your settings to make sure other blogs can tag you

[i-heart-emos]

Life’s brighter with you around/luke castellan

authors note: In honor of my 1 year anniversary of being on tumblr yay so I thought what better than write a Luke oneshot. And also the reader is the daughter of selene the goddes of the moon cause I haven’t seen a kid of them yet on tumble

Summary:Luke’s always had nightmares ever since he can remember but that all changed when he met you

Pairing: luke castellan x Selene daughter!reader

Warning: slight angst, mentions of death, and torturing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ever since Luke can remember he always had terrible nightmares. Either about his mothers death,his father leaving, Thalia being tortured. He’ll wake up in a cold sweat tears running down his face looking around rapidly. It was absolutely horrible like being trapped in an old disgusting memory but he just had to watch it happen again. No moving no screaming just watching. He made a swear to himself that if anyone he loved where to get hurt he’d sacrifice himself.

Especially when he met you. You arrived at camp when you where where 13 he had barely been there a few months when he met you. You walked threw the gates looking the best way Luke can describe like you’d been hit by a bus. A bruised eye cut lip and large cut on your side bleeding threw your shirt looking like yo I where gonna pass out. It made Luke remember everything he has to go threw to get to camp.

He remembers you coming in and almost falling from the blood loss. He immediately runs up to you getting you by the shoulders. “Hey are you ok”he asked “um not really kinda bleeding out just a little bit” oh here let me get you to the infirmary” he walked you to the infirmary in the middle of camp finally settling you down in a bed. “Chiron Chiron can somebody tell Chiron we have a new camper who needs immediate medical attention” that’s all you nheard till it faded to black. But you where patched up and woke up. Looking around frantically you spotted Luke “you your the guys who helped me” he chuckles “ yea no problem you can call me Luke castellan” he states holding out his hand “ well castellan you can call me y/n l/n” after that you and Luke had become inseparable.

Luke had spent all day trying to find your godly parent and there was no luck. Till that night you where talking to Luke about how you’ve always felt some strange connection to the moon and it’s beauty. All of a sudden a crescent moon appeared above you. He looked up shocked “you your the child of Selene the moon goddess”. You laughed “guess that explains my weird moon obsession. You where the only child at camp daughter of the moon goddess there was obviously no cabin for you. Which meant your home would be in the Hermes cabin. But that was a plus meant you could be closer to Luke.One night you where trying to sleep when you where woken up to heavy breathing.

You looked around till you pinpointed the sound. Luke’s bunk You thought. You quickly make your wait over there. He sees you and calms his breathing a bit. “Oh I’m sorry did I wake you”. “No no don’t worry are you ok bad dream”. “Oh um yea” “want me to maybe stay with you I don’t have to but if it’ll make you feel better”. “That would actually make me feel a lot better” you smile and slowly crawl into bed with him. You wake up to one of Lukes half siblings Hannah looking over you too smirking. “Hey you can’t tell anyone Hannah please” you pleaded. “Fine I’ll keep your little secret” she says she walking away. After that it became a usual thing he’d get nightmares come to your bed you’d crawl into his. And Hannah would wake you before everyone else woke. But eventually Luke got tired of hiding this.

you where so devoted to helping him he felt himself truly slipping into you more and more every day. It’s like he didn’t know what to do. “Chris it’s driving me mad I just love her so much” Chris rolls his eyes sick of hearing this every day. “ then why don’t you ask her out already she clearly likes you”. “You think she really does” he says hopeful look on his face” “man look she wakes up whenever you want doesn’t get mad you interrupt her sleep gets into literal bed with you just to make you feel better after your bad dreams I don’t know but that sounds like love to me”

“oh my Gods Chris thank you for opening my eyes I gotta” he says running away. “Hah and now I’m getting some money” Chris exclaims remembering his bet with Clarissa over who would convince the other to date each-other first.

When Luke finally finds you he’s breathing heavily. “Are you ok” “ yes Amazing actually ok here goes nothing y/n l/n I love you with all my heart I love how caring you are and how you never hesitate to help out anyone” I love hearing you talk about things you love like the stars and the moon and hearing the stories while you point at constellations”. “You’ve made my life amazing and saved me will you be my girlfriend” “oh my goodness you finally ask of course I’ll be your girlfriend idiot” you exclaim grabbing his face and kissing him”. Then you here a angry

groan in the back you both look to see clarisse stomping her feet like a child. “what clarisse sad I got her first” Luke says. “No castellan Im angry I lost my bet with Chris” she says storming off. You look at Luke and say “ten bucks there gonna date next” “ten bucks I’ll get Chris to date her next”. “ oh your so on pretty boy you say”. And then started the ongoing bets at camp half-blood. Watching the sky that night with Luke you could have sworn the moon shined just a little brighter with him around

author note: this kinda went off the rails but it’s was so fun to make and now I write for clarisse cause I found my love for her also sorry the text style changed halfway threw I switched devices

[anangelwhodidntfall]

A Whole New Word: Part I

A Whole New World Masterlist 

word count: 1.3k

description: Y/n a former teacher from earth arrive on pandora after receiving a phone call from her best friend Jake Sully inviting you to come take over Grace Augustine's school. After arriving to Pandora and working with her avatar for a few weeks and studying the environment and people. Jake invites her to camp but on the way there, she ends up twisting her ankle and meeting the famous warrior Tsu’tey.

taglist:  @inutheangel @moonchildxoxx​

if you liked this, please let me know. if you didn’t like this, let me know as well. and a big kiss and heartfelt thank you for those of you who always reblog, comment and like my writing. that keeps me going, my besties 💕

Next Part​

You were woken up out of a six-year sleep where they ran you through some tests, before briefing you on what would be happening now that you were here. More often than not, you found yourself admiring the beauty of the world around you.

"Welcome y/n, we are so happy to have you here with us." Norm and Max said shaking your hands.

"Hi guys, thank you so much for allowing me to come." You said to them.

"So this is where we link up for our avatars and this is your avatar." They said showing you your avatar.

"She's beautiful." You said looking at her.

"Just like you." Jake said making you turn and look at him with a smile.

"Giant!" You said with a smile as he picked up and hugged you.

"Short stack, oh how I've missed you." He said hugging you before placing you on the ground.

"I've missed you more, thank you for thinking of bringing me out here." You said to him.

"Of course! I wouldn't want anyone else here with me." He said to you.

For the next few weeks, you were constantly going through training with your body and getting used to it while also studying the planet, the people, and everything. It was all so fascinating to learn about. Currently, you were going through another test with Norm and Jake, who also felt like quizzing you about everything you had been studying.

"Y/n you are doing so good, I think that you should be able to go out on your own without supervision and being monitored." Norm said.

"Really?" You asked with a smile.

"Yeah, you've shown great progress with your body and your learning." He said.

"You know what that means kid, you can finally come to the village!" Jake said with a huge smile.

Today was the day you were finally able to come into the village, you had told Jake that you would meet him there feeling comfortable enough to walk there with the communication device he gave you. You were walking around admiring the beautiful scenery around you, with a smile not paying attention until went face-first into the ground making you groan.

Tsu'tey was doing his usual border patrols for unwanted guests when he heard the sound of a female voice, making him even more alert as he went to find the source of the sound.

"Ow!" You said sitting up and touching your ankle.

Tsu'tey stopped when he found the girl sitting on the ground, the more he analyzed her the more he saw that she wasn't true Na'vi but instead of Dreamwalker which made him even more alert.

"Easy kill." Tsu'tey thought lining his arrow up preparing to kill you.

You were looking to see where my communication device went, when I looked up and saw Na'vi with their arrow pointed at me.

"Demon! What are you doing here?" He asked harshly.

"Please don't kill me! I'm a friend of Jake's." You said to him with my hands held up to show that you meant no harm.

Tsu'tey looked at the woman before him and took notice of her unarmed self meaning she couldn't possibly pose a threat, but still, he wondered what kind of friend she was to Jake.

"What kind of friend?" He asked you.

"The good kind, he invited me here to possibly take over Dr. Augstine's old school and become a teacher." You said as he lowered his bow.

"I will take you camp where Jake will verify if what you say is true and if not I won't hesitate to kill, do you understand?"  He said harshly.

"Yes." You said to him as he offered you a hand.

You grabbed your stuff and took his hand and tried to stand up only when you put pressure on your foot, you were met with an intense amount of pain, making you hiss as he looked at you confused.

"Are you hurt?" He asked concerned.

"Yes, I think when I fell earlier I twisted my ankle, and it hurts to put any pressure on it." You said looking at him.

"Let me call my pa'li, and we can ride back to camp, that way you don't injure yourself more." He said to you as he called his pa'li over.

"Your pa'li is beautiful."You said to him as he helped up onto it.

He looked almost shocked that you knew that and how good your Na'vi sounded for a dream walker. They rode back to camp not really speaking, and you took notice of how everyone started gathering around them making your anxiety spike as he helped you down of his pa'li and carried me to the healer's tent to get looked at.

"No way, you got hurt on your first time here." Jake said with a laugh as he walked into the tent.

"Shut up I was distracted by the scenery and tripped." You said as the shaman worked on your ankle.

"I know it's beautiful, isn't it? But I'm glad you're here." He said hugging you.

"Jake Sully, you know this woman?" Tsu'tey said interrupting your moment with Jake.

"Yes I do, this is y/n. She is the one I've been talking about coming and taking over the school. Did something happen?" He asked looking between you and Tsu'tey.

"He tried to kill me and then threaten to kill me if he found out I was lying." You said to Jake.

"Yeah, he's kinda intense. Tsu'tey this is my fault, I should've gone and got her, but believe me she is an ally to us." He said as Tsu'tey nodded his head.

"Forgive me for my actions, I hope you can understand the worry and need of concern after what has happened to my people." He said to you.

"It's alright I understand. Thank you for your help today." You said to him.

"Alright, my dear, you have a sprained ankle. I believe you will heal up just fine, as long as you stay off of it for the next few days. I will come by your hut tonight with some medicine to help with the pain." She said.

"Thank you shaman." You said to her before she left.

"Hut? What did she mean by hut?" You asked them after she left.

"It means we had a hut prepared for you once I told the clan about you agreeing to come here and help them." Jake said.

"Come, we will show it to you." Tsu'tey said gently picking you up in his arms shocking both you and Jake.

You guys walked a little bit until you reached this beautiful hut that was clearly crafted with so much time and detail. You guys gently walked in where Tsu'tey gently placed you on your bed while propping your hurt ankle up.

"Thank you." You said as he nodded his head.

"So what do you think?" Jake asked placing your bag on the table.

"It looks amazing, whoever built this clearly has an eye for detail and the craftsmanship is so lovely." You said running your hand across the table.

Tsu'tey smiled at your praise, he was the one who had been tasked with building your home and wanted to make your stay here in the clan enjoyable so he made sure it was built to the most perfection.

"We should let her get some rest, we will be back in the morning to check on you." Jake said.

"Thank you both for all your help." You said to them.

You fell asleep thinking about what life was going to be like in the clan especially with Tsu'tey hanging around, you had to admit that he had scared you when you first laid eyes on him but now you had to admit that he was growing on you.

Tsu'tey made his way into his own home that night still trying to process the events of the day, especially running into you. He had to admit that you were beautiful and seemed very intelligent for a dream walker he couldn't wait to learn more about you.

[starwarsmum]

And so begins Maribat BioFamily September! Thanks to @maribat-calendar-events for the prompt list! Posted on ao3

Day 1 Long Lost Sibling

Tim was having a bad day. He had woken up to news of a French supervillain that had apparently escaped notice of the Justice League and some, also unknown, French superheroes had defeated him. He was furious that he hadn't even heard a word about it, and was taking his bad mood out on the batcomputer.

“Timbo, what's happening?” Jason asked as he sauntered into the cave. Tim growled something unintelligible and Jason gave a once over of the screen. “Oh shit, is that about the French superheroes? Man, did you read up on the Ladyblog website? It was a hell of a traumatising read, I don't think I could think up some of that stuff even if Scarecrow were lending a hand.”

“How did we miss it?” Tim wailed, slumping at the keyboard. “I thought I knew so much about Paris, I was searching for MDC for so long, but how did I miss an entire supervillain?”

“Boys, time to suit up,” Bruce said, sweeping into the cave and grabbing his own suit. When they didn't immediately start moving, he gave them a stern look and explained, “The Justice League are greeting the French Superheroes Ladybug and Chat Noir. Now that they aren't afraid of people with legitimate powers of being akumatised, they're asking for help with the recovery of Paris’ citizens.”

In a flurry of activity, Tim and Jason were dressed and headed to the Zeta tube. Tim felt underprepared - he normally had a full view of the situation, from multiple angles, but he had scarcely had time to start looking into Hawkmoth's motivations. He had skimmed some basic background, which told him that Gabriel Agreste had lost his wife a few years ago, but that was all he had managed.

When Ladybug and Chat Noir arrived with Wonder Woman, Tim felt horror rise up in him. How were they so young? Sure, he and the other Robins had started young - hell, younger usually -  but they'd all had a mentor, and it was clear from the fights broadcast that that was not the case here.

Batman had made it clear that only he, his two Reds, Wonder Woman and Superman were allowed to be present during this first meeting. He had grumbled that it was unfortunate that Robin and Superboy were at school and couldn't be there, as having people of a similar age could help them feel more at ease.

“Welcome to the Watchtower, Ladybug and Chat Noir,” Superman said gently, offering a hand to the former. He gave a yelp when she said ‘Spots off’ and standing in her place was a girl with black hair, blue eyes and a weary expression. Chat Noir followed her lead and turned into a familiar boy with blond hair and a stricken expression across his face.

“Hi, I'm Marinette, and this is my partner Adrien Agreste. Yes, I said Agreste,” she said, eyeing them as though daring them to say something. Tim immediately admired the steely note in her voice, likely learned from being a teenager in the frontline of a war against an emotional terrorist.

She launched into an explanation of what they had been enduring over the past year, and Tim felt a mixture of horror and pity at what they had been through. When she finished, silence spread through the room and Chat Noir finally spoke up.

“So you can see why we want help,” he said quietly, showing none of the cocky self-assuredness he was known for. “If just for some therapy, m'lady and I need somebody to talk to. And I'm going to need someone to vouch for my character without revealing my identity to the hordes of angry people that want blood for what they've been through because of Hawkm- my dad.”

“Also, my parents are at their wits’ ends, I've been targeted in my civilian identity for the past six months and they want me out of the country for a couple of weeks while the trial goes through,” Marinette admitted. “They were hoping to send me to America since I was adopted from there, but they don't have any details of my birth family. It was a closed adoption and my birth parents were very clear that they didn't have the means to take care of me.”

“Well, we can help see if there's a direction we can point you in,” Batman said, stepping forward to place a comforting hand on both kids’ shoulders. “And I have contacts in America who can look after you if you do want to stay there for a while. They have the funds to house you for an indefinite period, should it come to that."

After that was a flurry of activity, Marinette giving a blood sample and Chat Noir being set up with a therapist and advocate for trials. Tim and Jason were left in charge of making sure Marinette made it home safely, after which Tim decided he was going to do everything in his power to help the pair.

_ _ _

“I don't believe it!” The shout tore out of him, horror and disbelief making him feel a little nauseous. But he had run the test several times and it showed a familial relationship between Marinette and one of the prominent families in Gotham. He had thought it strange that she just so happened to have the markers of a Wayne adoption, but would never have guessed this result.

“Tt, what is it, Drake?” Damian said, appearing behind him and scanning the information quickly. His eyebrows rose and practically disappeared into his hair. “Well, that is…interesting. I suppose congratulations are in order. It appears you are an actual older brother to someone.”

[karizard-ao3]

My reactions to the End of Evangelion

First, I know I have some asks about romcom Shinji waiting for me, but I felt I must watch this first because I am a little bit freaked out about what's going to happen and I need to just face it and get it out of the way. Also, I have a feeling I'm going to want to think about cute romcom Shinji afterward to aid my recovery. I have been led to believe it's pretty intense.

I am literally sitting here with the remote, avoiding pressing play.

Okay. I did it. It's starting.

I wonder if this is with the new VAs. Did they redub this as well? I'll find out soon.

The world is flooded, it looks like.

Shinji visiting Asuka and asking for help.

This is the new dub.

Ope, he accidentally made her naked.

Jesus Christ, Shinji.

Confirmed that their intent is to force humanity to evolve. They wanted to use Lilith but instead will have to use Unit 1, its only offspring, since the Spear of Longinus is lost.

Yui chose to stay in the Eva. "The human condition lies in how it struggles for survival".

There's Rei.

She finally broke the glasses.

Shinji's music player ran out of battery. He's just been laying there thinking about what a creep he is.

Misato found the real truth behind the second impact. Should I go back and pause to read the page?

Seele's trying to hack NERV HQ.

So was Unit 0 made from Adam, then?

Wait. So, Seele wants to do the forced evolution, yes? What is Gendo's motive in all this?

They're hiding the kids in their Evas. Rei is missing.

Shinji is hiding. Is he jerking off again?

These guys are going through and very efficiently killing everyone in NERV.

No, Shinji is just feeling depressed and hopeless and probably hating himself.

How does Rei feel about all her destroyed bodies?

They were about to kill Shinji and he was going to let them, but here comes Misato to save the day!

"Help, Asuka. Help me." Suicidal Shinji.

Humanity caused the second impact by trying to revert Adam to an egg state before he could awaken any more angels. Humanity came from Lilith and is the 18th Angel. I was not expecting that.

The other Angels were humanity how it could have been.

Shinji needs to destroy the Evas to prevent the third impact and save mankind.

Okay, so the human instrjmentality project is Gendo ans that's the forced evolution. Third impact is Seele's goal. I think.

Asuka has woken up.

They're bombing outside her capsule.

Does that let her sync?

Did she see her mom because she died? Oh no.

Oh, wait, it was the first thing.

The AT field was her mother protecting her? Is her mom also in the Eva? Are they really just farming people's mothers to make Evas?

Go, girl! Kick ass, Asuka.

She's so happy to realize her mother loves her.

There's the other Evas. Are they also crafted from mothers?

It's nice to see Asuka with her confidence back.

Which one got shot?

Misato.

I thought probably given ep. 25 (was it?)

Shinji does bad things to other people to hurt himself.

That's a good message from Misato.

And then she went and did that. Ugh. Misato, I knew you were going to do some shit like this. And promising him the rest when he gets back. What a weirdo. But I guess she's dead now? That's too bad.

Ritsuko is sabotaging Gendo.

But she failed.

The spear of longinus is back and it got her!

I was wondering if they would stay down. She probably has to destroy the S2 drive.

Do these ones have pilots?

Oh, they're eating her. And she is connected by nerve link.

Ohhhhhh no. Asuka...

He couldn't go to the Eva so the Eva is coming to him.

He saw what happened to Asuka and absolutely lost his shit.

Should I take a break to discuss this half of the movie since it's split into episodes, or should I wait? Umm.... I have until the end of this song to decide, I think. Uh... I think I'll just wait until the very end.

Rei's arm fell off.

Gendo wants to reunite with Yui, which is something I had kind of toyed with as an idea because he talks about her a lot and is very partial to everything that relates to Yui except for Shinji (maybe sees too much of himself in the boy), but I hadn't really spent a lot of time thinking about it because I hate Gendo and he keeps hooking up with other scientists.

He has become one with Adam somehow. He needs to unite Adam and Lilith to commence the human instrumentality project and then go to where Yui is (the quantum plane, perhaps?)

Quite honestly, I'm still not completely clear on what Seele wants versus what Gendo wants.

He stuck his whole hand inside her.

Rei senses Shinji screaming.

Were there two spears of Longinus?

Oh, they made a replica.

They are rerutning man and Evas to their true forms.

Several replicas.

They're going to use Unit 1 and therefore Shinji as a sacrifice.

This is the lead up to the third impact.

There is a huge explosion.

Looks like an eye.

They're returning earth to its true form?

Rei decides not to help Gendo. And she regrew her hands. She's going up to help Shinji by going in Lilith.

And with that, Lilith is fixed, with her legs not weird anymore.

That is Lilith, right? That's what Kaworu said?

A giant incorporeal Rei to the rescue!

Shinji screaming at the sight of Rei.

They're syncing with Rei. Once again, that's a lot of fucking Reis.

Shinji is losing his mind.

kaworu appears, coming out of Rei's body. But there's the spear. It's absorbed the spear. Now he's in the tree of life.

"Rei is in your heart. A perfect reflection of your wishes."

"What do you wish for?"

He's alone at the playground because the other kids went home with their mom and he doesn't have one.

His little Mary Janes.

Built the sand castle, knocked it down in a fit of rage, then started trying to put it back together and crying.

Did this stuff Shinji is seeing actually happen or is it happening in his head as part of human instrumentality?

Now he's choking her.

Seeing all the worst of humanity.

Shinji bouncing back and forth between everyone should die because they don't love me, and I should die because I don't matter to anyone.

Rei just sprouted from the atmosphere.

Everyone is truning to jelly. Primordial soup.

"I'd only hurt Shinji. That's why I left him alone." He's just like Shinji fr.

The Eva series are shoving the spears further in.

Rei is vacuuming something into her palms, it looks like. Is that souls?

The tree of life thing just went into the eye hole/ keyhole/ vag in her head.

Now we've got some actual footage from the real world.

"You made a convenient fantasy to get revenge on reality."

Rei and Shinji are kind of fused together. Everyone is merged into one, which is what Rei said Shinji wished for. But he realizes that's not really what he wanted.

AT fields are what keep us separate and cause our pain, but Shinji realizes that he wants to be with others again more than he wants to run away from the pain.

So now Rei is bringing everyone back, I think?

Yui wanted to make the Eva to be a testament that humanity existed even after the universe dies.

Shinji wakes up next to a red sea abd Asuka. Shinji sees Rei for just a moment, and then she'd gone. There is a red ring around the earth. He's trying to choke her and crying, then she touches his face softly and he stops. He cries. She calls him disgusting and the movie ends.

In Conclusion

Well.

Well, well, well.

First off: I am still confused because it seems like Seele and Gendo were trying for the same thing and I am really not sure of the difference. Maybe it was just a matter of how they wanted to carry it out. I feel like I must be dumb as a rock for not getting it, but also maybe it's just mental priorities. I spent more mental energy trying to figure out other stuff.

This movie leaves me with a lot to think about. I'm already googling things about it, but I'm going to stop for now. I want to let it percolate a bit more, I think. Also, I should watch my DVD extras! Probably not today, though. I need to spend some time with my kid.

It seems that the third impact still affected the planet, but Shinji elected to have everyone be individuals so it was an apocalypse but not one that turned everyone into a single, liquid consiousness.

I don't really think everyone's Eva is infused with their mother, but I'm a little perplexed by Asuka saying her mother is why she has an AT field. Maybe she just meant because of how her mother shaped her identity. Not really sure. I mean, I would understand if Shinji had that revelation but not sure on Asuka.

Yeah, this is another one that's going to have to sit for a while in my head, I think. There's a lot to sort through.

I do love that the connection between mother and child seems to be so important in this series. It's kind of sad because Shinji feels so alone and uncared for, but we can see that his mother is always watching him and protecting him, whether it's as Rei or as Unit 1 or as a metaphysical version of herself. But we also see Asuka dealing with a lack of love from her mother. That poor girl.

Also, can we really love anyone when they are mixed together in a soup with us? Shinji could be merged with everyone in the LCL sea but they were no longer separate people, so he still couldn't really be with them, because there was no longer a them to be with.

I do slightly wish the objectives between Seele and Gendo had been slightly clearer. I get that it's all secondary to the real message but I get hung up on this kind of stuff when it's not clicking.

Yeah, I don't think I've got anything really definitive to say right now. This is definitely another thinker and I need time to let my thoughts form.

I am left wanting more. Not of the story, but just of seeing the characters together. I wish we could get an Evangelion slice of life series and just see their day to day lives as Eva pilots with only a very loose plot to tie the series together. I want to see them all existing and coexisting and I think I could happily watch several seasons of that.

Okay, well, I have a couple people to text now that I've finished the movie and I need to sit and think some more. I want to look up more stuff but I feel like maybe I should wrap up this watching experience with a better conclusion post. I think I will try (only try, no promises-I've got a head full of questions) to hold off on looking anything up while I sort through things and maybe look at my notes and then attempt to gather together my thoughts and post them.

I will also think about those Shinji romcom asks.

This was a very good show. I will definitely be watching again, and quite possibly very soon. I confess that I put in a bid for a boxed set of the Perfect collection, which should have the original dub, so if I win it I'm going to buy it and then watch it with the original dub because I'm curious to see the difference.

[pensat-i-fet]

Cuddle sessions (Frenkie de Jong x Reader)

**I got a request to write about looking after little Frenkie when he’s sick and I adore how this turned out, honestly. Super cute. Hopefully you all enjoy reading!! ❤️**

Word count: 2080

Masterlist

Wattpad

I’m woken up by my little dog Pearl, who seems to be able to guess what day it is today.

“I know, little one. Dad is coming back today. Finally!”

Pre-season is tough for the players but no one talks about how tough it is for their families. It’s been two weeks since I got to see Frenkie and I’m planning on being a clingy girlfriend when he comes back. I want cuddles. And so does Pearl.

“Let’s give you your breakfast and get mine ready before I go pick him up”.

I know there is no point in dressing up because we’ll come back home and just spend the day here but I still want to make a bit of an effort. Frenkie will be so tired after 12 hours on a plane that he’ll appreciate me trying to look extra cute for him.

I pick up a nice orange summery dress. I got a little bit of a tan when we were away on holidays so it looks better now than when I'm pale. I put my hair up in a messy bun since it's still too hot in Barcelona to wear it down for longer than ten minutes. And there is no need for make-up thanks to the tan. Picking up the perfume I know Frenkie loves, I spray a bit on my neck and my wrists. Perfect!

"I'll be back in an hour, my love", I say, scratching Pearl's tummy when she lies on the floor trying to get my attention so I don't leave. So needy. But I'll do the same when I see my boyfriend. Well, not asking him to rub my belly but…the human version.

The traffic is not that bad so I'm actually a little early. I decide to get out of the car because it's too hot inside and see some people have made it to the training centre.

"Hi, are you on pick-up duty today?"

"Yes, Lluís", I laugh. "I drove Frenkie here before he left so he's got no car".

"I'm sure he'll be happy to see you as soon as possible after such a long time away", I nod. "And you look lovely, by the way".

"Thank you".

"The café is open if you want to hide from this heat. I can let you know when they arrive".

"That'd be amazing!"

So I go to the café and order a soda and chat with the people who work there. I love everyone working at Barça. It really is like a big family.

"I think they are arriving now".

I turn and see Lluís walking towards the café too which means he's coming to tell me.

"Are they here?"

"Yes. Go see your boy".

I smile at him and walk towards where the bus should be parked right now.

One by one, the players start to show up and even though I hope Frenkie is one of the first ones out of the bus, he's not.

It almost feels like everyone is already out but him. But then I see him, looking very tired.

"Hi!"

When he hears my voice, Frenkie looks up and I see a smile forming on his lips.

"Hey! I missed you".

I jog towards him and hug him, so happy he's back.

He lets go of the suitcase to hug me properly and I can feel him putting more of his weight on me before sighing.

"You smell so good".

That makes me giggle. "Thank you. You sound very tired. How was the flight?"

"The flight was fine. I just don't feel well".

I move back and lift his face to look at him. He looks so much more tired than he should. And he looks so pale. Well, even more than usual.

"What happened? Are you sick?"

"It was my fault".

I turn to see it's Gavi speaking. "Why would it be your fault? Did you do something to him?"

"I had a stomach bug when we travelled to the US and pretty much the entire squad got it. Frenkie is the last one".

"Oh, honey".

I move the hair away from his forehead and notice how hot he is.

"Do you have a temperature too?", he nods. "Well, let's go home so I can look after you".

Taking his hand, I lead him to the car. And before going to the driver's seat, I run to the café to get a bottle of water for him.

"Thanks, my love. I wish I could kiss you but I don't want to make you sick".

"Is that how you got it from Gavi?"

He chuckles. "No, from Robert".

"Should have guessed".

When we are finally home, Pearl goes absolutely mad seeing Frenkie is back.

"Hey, girl. Did you miss me?", she starts to bite him playfully while she keeps running around him. "I'll take that as a yes".

"We both missed you".

"And now I come back sick and can't spend quality time with you two because of it. I hate this".

"Hey, it's fine. I knew we would spend the day home anyways. You were going to be tired from the flight and I have the day off".

He gets up from the floor, much to Pearl's dislike. And he grabs my face gently. I start to lean forward instinctively but he just kisses my forehead instead.

"You look so pretty. I should be taking you out for lunch. But I will the second I feel better, ok?"

I nod, smiling at how he's always worried about me. Even when he is sick and it should be me who's worried.

"What do you want to eat?"

"Nothing", he groans.

"Frenkie, you have to eat. I can make you some soup or order something if you fancy that more".

"Soup is fine".

"Ok, I'll get changed quickly and make some. I can buy some bread too, that's good for the stomach and we love carbs. How about you shower while I do all that?"

He nods, getting up and following me to our bedroom.

I open the drawers to grab some shorts and a t-shirt for Frenkie and I feel him wrap his arms around my waist and placing his head on my shoulder after kissing it.

"Orange looks so good on you. Can you wear something else that's orange? And you can wear that dress when I take you to lunch this weekend".

"I'll find something. And I found this for you. Go freshen up. It'll make you feel so much better".

"I really want to kiss you".

"Then do it. I'll catch this bug anyways", I shrug. "At least I get some kisses as well".

He smiles, pecking my lips a couple of times before going to the bathroom.

I change into comfier clothes and go back to the kitchen to make his soup.

Once the food is boiling, I bring the heat down a bit and set the timer before leaving to go buy some bread.

"Pearly, come here! Do you want to come with me to buy some bread? Yes?"

I manage to calm her down long enough to put the lead on and grab my keys.

"I'll be back in ten minutes!", I yell, hoping Frenkie can hear me. And when he yells back, I know he did.

"One baguette, please. And…I'll take two of those chocolate donuts as well, please".

"Here you go", says the lady from the bakery when she passes me the bag. "Thank you".

"Thank you. See you soon".

I can tell Pearl wants to stay out for longer and make a mental note to go for a longer walk after lunch. If she doesn't fall asleep like it usually happens around that time.

"Honey, I'm home!"

"I'm on the sofa".

When I get to the living room, I see him laying down with his eyes closed.

"Did the shower help?", I say, brushing my fingers through his still wet hair.

"A bit…", he opens his eyes and just stares at me. "You're wearing my shirt".

I look down at my clothes. "Yes, you said I should wear orange and the only orange shirt I have is your one from the national team".

"It looks so good on you".

"It also looks alright on you".

"Remember that time you wore it and a guy asked you if you were my fan?"

"Yes", I laugh, remembering that moment. "And when I told him I was your girlfriend he gave me such a look. Totally thought I was making it up".

"Well, you weren't", he says, grabbing one of the hands caressing his hair and kissing it softly.

The sound of the alarm I set for the food ruins the moment and I go blend the veggies.

I cut the baguette into smaller pieces and toast a few of them. Some just after drizzling some olive oil on the bread and for the others I add some cheese that melts and makes my mouth water. We love carbs and we definitely love cheese.

"Food is ready!"

"Coming!"

I put everything on the table but before I'm done, Frenkie hugs me, just trying to find comfort in doing that.

"Is there any medicine you can take? I could go buy it. I hate seeing you in pain".

"I have some on the wash bag that the team gave me. Can you go get it? I feel so weak".

"Sit down, I'll be right back".

I spot the wash bag quickly. Frenkie is usually so tidy. Way more than I am. But he just left his suitcase and bags on the floor, which shows how bad he really must feel.

There is only one little pack of tablets in the bag, so I pick it up but not before I notice everything he got there. Shampoo, shower gel, hairbrush, toothbrush…and a little bracelet with my name and his we made once while we looked after one of my little nephews. I had forgotten about it but seeing him carry it around makes me smile.

"Got them. I think. There were no more tablets there".

He puts the spoon down to grab the medicine. "Thank you".

I see him take the tablet and put his head in his hands, sighing. And I have to hug him. I put my arms around him and kiss his cheek before squeezing him but not too tightly. I want to comfort him, not hurt him more.

"I love you", I hear him whisper.

"I'm fond of you too".

I move my chair and plate so I can sit next to him and he looks up to smile at me.

Frenkie eats slowly but he manages to eat a nice portion of food. I push the bread towards him and he shakes his head but I convince him to try and have some. It'll do him good.

"I need to take Pearl on a little walk but then I'm all yours, ok?"

"I'll go to bed. It's closer to the bathroom".

I can't help but laugh at that. "Good choice".

Pearl and I go to the park so she can run around. I look at her smiling to myself. She's definitely going to have a long nap after that. We drink some water from the fountain before making our way back home.

"Let's go look after dad, Pearly! We can all cuddle together, right?"

I swear she understands what I said to her because she starts walking faster. And when we get home, she starts jumping while I get my keys to open the door. But there is no need because the door opens and Pearl moves on to jumping around Frenkie instead.

"Go back to bed. You're sick".

"I'm a lot better now", he says, opening his arms so I hug him.

I close the door behind me and get into his embrace. I really missed him these last few weeks.

"How about a cuddle session?"

"That was all I wanted from today. Cuddles with my girls".

"Let's go then".

We get the sofa ready to lay down comfortably and put on a comfort movie that we won't probably pay attention to. Pearl is lying near our feet, getting comfortable before her nap.

"You look better", I tell Frenkie, caressing his face.

"Being next to you is the best medicine".

"Yeah?"

He nods, leaning down to kiss me. "I missed you so much".

"Robert's kisses aren't as good as mine, right?"

"Not even close".

[marymary-diva17]

Where I belong (2)

The journey and belief of finding a place of where someone belongs, is in everyone. Wishing to find a place where they are welcome and wanted, is everyone need in life. That had come true for myla she had finally found the place, where she belonged and had the family she always wanted and wishes for along with a clan. Love by the great mother, her family, and her clan she finally found where she belong.

myla " ....." myla had woken up and left her home she had plans to go explore and anything else her mom, yes she started calling Varang mom a couple months ago. She had tasked the on explore and seeing if the humans, had returned to the inland or report on any weird active she had seen.

????? " where are you going young lady"

myla " good morning sempu"

quaritch " good morning my daughter now tell me where you, are heading off right now"

myla " to do some task that sa'nok had asked me to do"

quaritch "you and here are always planning something and always testing me and the team on our navi"

myla " well yes dad if you are going to rule with mom you will need to know, more of the language"

???? " never think I will see the dad you will be scolded by someone, younger then you and your own child miles"

quaritch " hey keep laughing lyle when you take on a wife and have kids, you will see how much they change you life" myla had laughed as she looked at her father and uncle.

lyle " hey kid heading off again"

myla " yes I'm just going explore and to see if they have come back"

Lyle " what makes you think they will be back to check up on you"

myla " well I do have friends and I hope they are still my friends, but I'm just going to see what happens"

quaritch " fine you can go but remember what we have agreed on young lady"

myla " yes if I see any rda ships call you and tell you where I'm stay hidden if needed, and don't fight if not need just run and hide ..."

lyle " if you need to fight"

myla " show them they picked the young girl to mess with in their lives"

quaritch " oh no the team has gotten to you haven't they"

myla " maybe"

quaritch " go before I change my mind and have your come home"

myla " thanks dad bye dad and uncle lyle" myla soon left the village and headed deeper, into the forest. It had taken her time to understand the clan and way of life, but she soon caught up which had surprised varang and the elders.

myla “ ……..” myla had arrived at the site of where her now destroyed home had been, all those months ago. Coming here did bring some pain to the girl as she had been abandoned by the ones she ones held dear to her heart. All of her personal belongings and anything else that could be used, had been brought to her by everyone.

myla " i has been months the chance of them very coming back here, have started getting very low over time"

myla " You know if I tried making a call I might not get an answer back, and to dad it seems like a waste of time to give them all a call when I could be doing better" myla had been able to get a better relationship with her father then she had months ago, She was happy that she had given her dad another chance along with her uncle and aunts.

myla " ......"Myla was thinking about her past with everyone the good and happy, even due she was starting this new journey in life a part of her wish her friends were here, as they had promised she become navi they will go for flight together and do everything else she couldn't. It seems like that will never come true after all that happened, she had been sent away to benefit everyone else.

myla " maybe a flight will be good" myla soon made a clicking sound and call, as she looked up at the sky and soon enough a ikran had landed. She had gained this ikran a while ago as she was deemed ready to have one, she soon walked towards her ikran and go onto, her companion back as she made the connection.

myla " come on girl lets go for a flight and see more of our home" the ikran soon took off into the air as they flow away from the sight, myla had looked back to see the sight where her old home once landed. One journey had ended for her while the second journey of her life began.

[bugtransport]

Kamen Rider X Finished February 14th, 2023

Here's your warning now: this one also got away from me. I BROKE 4k...

Kamen Rider X is… a show!

Look. I don’t know how to start this. I don’t know how many of you have seen this show. I don’t know how many of you saw me lose my fucking mind when I watched the first two episodes of this one. I had to kick myself out of the house and go get a breath of fresh air and went to H Mart and bought a shitton of side dishes. Just to cope, you know? Sometimes you need some fish cakes, for the soul. I ate great that whole week but that’s besides the point. X does have what I myself would describe as “a beginning” so let’s just recap that first, I guess, because it sure kicks the show off.

Pictured: welcome to Wet Boy Wonderland.

PART ONE: SETUP!

Before we begin fully: I think I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that there are… a couple issues with and themes in this show that I appreciated having a heads up on before I got to them. I think that what I might have to say might come off as far too complimentary without this disclaimer and to spoil my final conclusion, my actual feelings are a little mixed. We’ll be touching on this later with how it ties into what my thesis ends up being, but there’s a switch in the theme of the monsters part way through the show from Greek Mythology to Various Bad Guys In History and the thing about various bad guys in history and also shows that are made in, let I remind you, the 70s, is that sometimes things can be… well, I’ll be blunt. There’s a pretty racist caricature in there and some of the picks can be a little off color and also there’s Starfish Hitler which does feature swastikas and was a decision that the boys and I dubbed “sure a choice.” I mean yeah, he gets killed like all the other bad guys do, but still. Do you know the experience of watching Aristocats for the first time as an adult and being like “Hmm, I really do not remember this weird racist scene in the middle of this film, what the fuck? I mean I guess it was a different time, but still…” That’s kind of what this feels like in spots. Jin Keisuke also has maybe the world’s worst dad. This is a guy who seems to have decided that a “signs of parental abuse” checklist is a game of bingo and that somehow it can be won. This is most apparent during the first couple episodes for reasons you’ll see in like, a minute or so if you read at the same speed I do or faster, but it flavors the entire show in a way I’ll hopefully convince you of by the end. Trust me on this one. Those are the two big disclaimers I have out of the way; if either of those are non-negotiable issues for you, I recommend not finishing this and watching something that isn’t Kamen Rider X. For the rest of you? Buckle up. 

Here’s (roughly) what happens in the first two episodes of X. Jin Keisuke comes back home for a visit. He gets jumped by some goons at the boat docks who want to kidnap him because of his dad and gets shot at and falls into the water. He gets out of the water and reconnects with his… fiancee? I think? Keisuke goes to visit his father at his lab in a seaside cave, says that again, dad, he has no interest in going into science, and gets promptly judo thrown in response. His dad then tells him to put on a vest, which he does. Keisuke and his fiancee (?) go out to eat dinner and she tries to guilt him into sticking around because his dad is lonely. Keisuke gets a message saying that GOD is coming to fuck his shit up. Oh, right, GOD is the name of the bad guy organization in this one. Just roll with it... Neptune and the goons (great band name, the more that I think about it) overthrow a ship. Keisuke’s fiancee comes to visit them at the cave-lab; Keisuke’s dad shoots his son. This is okay because it turns out that the vest was bulletproof. Everyone laughs at this. Keisuke presumably goes to sleep at some point after this but gets woken up in the middle of the night and attacked by some goons and oh look, one of them happens to be his fiancee! What a surprise! Keisuke rushes to his dad’s side to find the guy bleeding out on the rocks in front of his cave-lab. Goons pop up and shoot him too, killing him. Keisuke’s dad has enough fight left in him to drag his son into his cave-lab and borg him and somehow get him onto a boat, where Keisuke wakes up after an indeterminate amount of time, surprised to be alive. Keisuke’s dad left a message for him telling that he built a supercomputer that is also an island (the Jin Station) to house his consciousness on a computer now that he’s dead. He gives Keisuke a bike and a quick rundown on how to become the X Rider and then asks Keisuke to explode his corpse for him. He does this. There’s a flashback of Keisuke as a kid running to his dad and his dad grabbing him and just fucking slamming the kid down. Keisuke goes off and defeats Neptune and the goons and gets helped by a woman who looks exactly like his fiancee but isn’t actually her, who gives no explanation as to why this is the case. 

…So that’s episode one. 

Pictured: father-son bonding at its finest!

I’ll make episode two shorter: Keisuke has another run in with his fiancee and her doppelganger which doesn’t explain anything either. Our monster of the week plotline is about a kid whose dad was just killed in a car accident a couple weeks ago and who apparently fought with his dad a lot and doesn’t know how to deal with the guilt that comes from that. Keisuke tries to protect this kid from misinformed townspeople who think that he’s hypnotizing people and the fact that he’s a borg starts to sink in. Keisuke goes back to the Jin Station to experience his first bout of borg angst with some support from his computer-father, whose response to his son wanting comfort is to call him a weak bitch and tell him that he can’t rely on anyone, he has to fight alone, and insist that Keisuke blow up the Jin Station, killing him again. This happens. Keisuke manages to convince the public that the boy was being slandered by GOD and that he wasn’t actually hypnotizing people. He then beats up the guy actually responsible. Keisuke comforts the kid by straightening out his flute, which got bent in the fight, and contemplates that maybe there are some good things about being a borg after all. 

Pictured: I might have understated exactly how the stages of grief impacted him on this one here.

If you think I'm exaggerating anything here you're more than welcome to fact check me. These first two episodes are available for free on the Toei Youtube channel, go ham! Good luck.

In any case, you might be seeing a theme emerging here. Don’t worry, we’ll get to that in just a minute. There’s a little bit of contrasting that I want to do first with the previous riders. Jin Keisuke is pretty different than the guys that we’ve had before and is especially jarring coming off of a dude like Kazami Shiro. Keisuke’s wet. He doesn’t have a support network like even Hongo did with at least knowing Tachibana from the start. Hell, it’s debatable that the guy even knows Kamen Riders are like, a thing, and not just some random shit his dad made up. He certainly doesn’t know them personally like Hongo was able to make sure both Hayato and Kazami did from the start. There’s a vague kind of uncertainty undercutting everything that Jin Keisuke does as a borg because he wasn’t borged in the same way that the other previous riders were. It was by someone who he ostensibly should be able to trust (unlike Hongo and Hayato) and for a fight that wasn’t at all his (unlike Kazami) and in a way that, because of these facts, comes off as more malicious and personal than Shocker’s sterile, random cruelty and while yes, his dad was technically saving his life, it doesn’t really seem to come from a place of kindness. It really comes off like his dad wanted to have just another way to control him after he was gone and when he realized that his son was still something that he viewed as “weak,” died to save himself the embarrassment. He explicitly requested that Keisuke not lean on anyone and instead take on the fight himself, despite doing exactly the opposite of that in giving the fight over to his son in the first place. What a hypocritical ass. 

It’s not just that – there’s the way that he fights with a weapon, kind of like Riderman, but essentially fences, which is so unlike any of the boys previously. He just kind of coincidentally falls into fighting GODborgs for the first part of the show with no real rhyme or reason, not with any plan, not necessarily being targeted by them even, really not seeming like he has any stake in the fight at all. He kind of doesn’t. Everyone else had some kind of personal vendetta and sure, GOD killed his dad the first time around, but Keisuke also got asked by his computer-dad to kill him, and he did. So. I mean, he could have just kept his dad alive that way. This is explicitly not his fight. He just kind of ended up here. Once the show gets going and Jin Keisuke gets into the swing of things and we start getting back into something that feels… a bit more like the previous Rider seasons, there’s still this odd disbelief in his abilities that all the characters, including Tachibana and the rest of his allies, approach Keisuke with. With Kazami, he’d do completely off the wall shit and everyone would be like “haha, that’s our guy!” Keisuke will play dead to try and throw someone off his tracks and go a little overboard with the fake blood or something and it’ll work, but in the same breath Tachibana will just look at him all confused and question why on earth he decided to go that way in the first place. I feel like I’m going full Pepe Syliva; is this not meant to mirror his father’s disbelief in his son’s abilities/path in life and the subsequent control that he tried to push onto him? In fact, there’s really only one character who I can think of who doesn’t underestimate him near constantly: Apollo Geist, baby.

Pictured: the creature in question

PART TWO: Fuck it, call me a Jin Keisuke apollogeist

Sorry, I had to fit that joke in here somewhere. I’ve been trying for weeks to make it work. Apollo Geist is the leader of GOD’s secret police, a position that is basically analogous to any of the other commanders that we’ve seen before. Weekly monster gets sent out, he’s the one above them in the ranks so he oversees their progress, critiques them, ends up 1v1ing the rider at some point, gets their shit kicked in. We’ve seen this before, we’ve loved this before, it works so well and I think it’s definitely something that the beginning episodes were lacking. We have to get some structure in these evil organizations in order to be able to even start to think about tearing them down. Though – because of the aforementioned constant and relentless underestimating of Jin Keisuke, when Apollo Geist appears and becomes obsessed with taking him down and claims that he’s the only one who can actually defeat the rider and stands on cliffsides watching him fight it really comes off as way more personal than anyone else we’ve had before. He can transform, not really into a monster, but into something way closer to X or any of the riders than we’ve had with anyone else previously. Apollo Geist feels like he’s set up to be Jin Keisuke’s equal, and it’s mad yaoi. 

Oh yeah, and totally forgot about this until I was looking back through my caps to write this, but Keisuke’s fiancee? Yeah, she was trying to do like whole double agent thing with her twin (who was the other one who looked like her) and it didn’t work out and she exploded mere minutes before Apollo Geist was introduced for the first time. She never really gets mentioned again. But that does leave the spot for a romantic interest open…

Pictured: special friends...

So. What the hell else am I supposed to think. Like, sorry, the man butts into pretty much every fight because he doesn’t trust his lackeys with this man. He wants to take X down in a way that’s satisfying to him. He checks in with Tachibana when Jin Keisuke fakes his death without telling him that he’s with GOD, leading Tachibana to think he must be one of Keisuke’s friends. He does the same thing when visiting the coffee shop later. He’s fucking obsessed with this guy. The two of them bike joust. Apollo Geist will jump onto his bike from 20 floors up, tenderizing his nuts into oblivion when he hits the saddle, just to show off. He’s obsessive and wild and wears a suit that’s all one color and man, I cannot imagine who else this might be reminding me of right now, but my word… and, both times he dies, he does so trying to take X down with him. 

“Both times he dies?” Both times he dies. The man fails to hold down X the first time around when he tried to explode him with his arm bomb and following that gets rebuilt and upgraded in the process. Long story short, after donning his little cowboy fit and realizing that he has shit aim suddenly during his daily shooting practice to kill Jin Keisuke, he learns that he only has a day or two left to live and that the literal only way to reverse this is to take a piece of the X suit and have it attached to his heart. 

Pictured: heterosexual behavior

Yes, you heard me correctly there: the only way for Apollo Geist to live here is for him to quite literally accept Jin Keisuke into his heart. Fucking incredible, isn’t it? He doesn’t do this, obviously, because he did die a second time, but look. The metaphor. It’s right there!! Maybe if Apollo Geist and Jin Keisuke had met under different circumstances, or maybe if they had a common enemy, or maybe if Apollo Geist wanted to admit his newfound weakness to Jin Keisuke or accept Jin Keisuke’s weaknesses as well (like the part where Keisuke didn’t want to transform because he was hurt, right, and Apollo Geist wanted to force him into changing so they could fight) and get into something that isn’t just this back and forth will they won’t they tension, the “what if we were two boys?” complex, the fucking starcrossed lovers of it all. 

Pictured: he likes to be tall

Sorry, wait a fucking second, wasn’t there someone else who died a horrible explosive death because they didn’t want to accept Keisuke into his heart? Who also saw Jin Keisuke as someone who should be able to put up a good, satisfying fight, regardless of what his wishes might be? Does Apollo Geist… also tie back to the whole dad thing? 

PART 3: The whole dad thing. 

Pictured: not a compliment

So. The whole dad thing. There are so, so many examples I could pull from, but lemme just run through what I specifically took notes on while watching the show as being repeated quite a distracting amount: 

Human experimentation. My fucking god, X has a lot of it randomly peppered in throughout the show. Not even really things that GOD is doing – the one that comes to mind is in one episode when the GODborg was influencing a bunch of kids to commit suicide and the tie between all of them was that they were all taking an experimental drug because they’re all honors students or something and they wanted to boost their brains even further. Honestly sounds like some shit that would happen in the suburb I used to live in, which is why I remember this one so well. The person who developed this thing gets nervous because like, I believe that the last kid alive on this drug is their kid. Jin Keisuke does save them, but you know who fucking else experimented on their kid? Jin Keisuke’s dad. 

Vampires. What the fuck, this show has I think at least 5 separate instances of vampires in it. In a 35 episode show. There are so many vampires. You know, the monster that’s notorious for infecting other people and sucking their life from them and changing them irreversibly in the process, making them stronger physically but also condemning them to living a hellish life. Wow, you know what that sounds like to me? Kind of like turning your son into a cyborg to save him and forcing him into a fight with a bunch of guys that were trying to kill you. 

The switch in monster themes in the middle of the show. There’s a point post Apollo Geist where the monsters swap over from being themed after figures in Greek mythology to historical figures. Yes, like I stated in the warning at the beginning of this post. Almost as if Jin Keisuke spent the time up to Apollo Geist fighting the mythos of his father, his ideals and the impact that left on him, and then when Apollo Geist died because he refused to let Keisuke into his heart, swapped over to fighting the actual sins of his father’s past. As if Apollo Geist dying for a similar reason that his father did when he asked Keisuke to blow him up so that he could “build character” or whatever, make Keisuke then realize that his father’s beliefs were… kinda fucked. That maybe the way he treated him wasn’t right. That maybe after that realization, he can move on slightly and begin the actual work of taking GOD down. 

[[Important to note but not a section in the dad saga – after Apollo Geist and the monster switch happens, the new guy leading the GODborgs is one big robolad named King Dark. Yeah, this thing has already gone on for too long and I didn’t want to recap even more of the show so I’m just giving you the context. Couldn’t figure out how else to do it and make it coherent and again, don’t know how many of you have actually watched this show. Okay back to the essay:]]

Kazami Shiro shows up and upgrades Jin Keisuke towards the end. After this point, Keisuke gets a perm (irrelevant) and his fighting style completely changes (very relevant) to be much more traditional Rider. The Ridol stick that his father gave him that he used to fight all the time with? Not used anymore. He has a new henshin pose and a new finisher. It’s just like, oh, I don’t know, being able to meet people he relates to and find a new family with the other riders is maybe helping him find his identity separate from his dad? While he is still obviously impacted by the trauma his father imposed upon him (in being a rider in the first place) he’s taking it and changing it into something his own? Quite literally, textually, physically changed by the people he’s met? Who would have thought!

The GOD leader? The one who we’ve been working towards fighting all this time? The person controlling King Dark? Yeah. That’s Keisuke’s dad’s friend, who was the one behind getting him dragged into GOD business, which of course is then in turn the reason that Keisuke got dragged into this mess in the first place. Remember above when I mentioned how the monsterswap lead to Keisuke fighting the actual sins of his father and his past actions? Yeah. That’s the final boss. Just to cement and drive home really how much of this could have been avoided. How much the entire thing was his dad’s fault. Keisuke gets stabbed all the way through his chest while in King Dark but still manages to come out on top. Yeah, it hurt him, but the man was finally cut off. 

The ending scene of the show, where Keisuke rides off into the distance and Tachibana reads the note that he left for him explaining his plans going forward, is so much different than the end of V3. V3 ends with Kazami Shiro experiencing loss once more and going to go off to deal with that. X, on the other hand, ends on one of the most hopeful notes I’ve seen yet. Keisuke seems… really happy. He’s excited to head out on his own, like the other riders before him. He’s excited to experience what they’ve experienced. He’s finally shed the weight of his father and his expectations for him and he can figure out what being a Kamen Rider means to him, specifically. It’s really, really sweet. It’s the ending I want in a story about parental abuse. It didn’t make me cry, because I was too happy for him, but it really stuck with me something vicious.

Do I sound like I’m going off the rails? I feel like I am! 

The thing is… most if not all of these things can totally be explained away in ways that don’t have a damn thing to do with Jin Keisuke’s dad. The change of the monster themes from mythology to reality? I know that one’s because the person who handled the monster designs for the first part of the show left and they had to bring someone new in. The vampires? I’m convinced they got a great deal on the fangs and just wanted to use them where they could. The human experimentation themes? Sure, that’s always been a theme in Rider, not really to this degree of lethality, but maybe they’re just trying to bring in a somewhat older audience or something. V3 upgrading him? Kazami Shiro fucking rules, of course they’d want to bring him back into the show, and why not have him give Keisuke something cool so they’d have an excuse to do just that. The contrast between the endings of V3 and X are super apparent to me because I’m watching them as an adult less than a month apart, but so many other characters also ride off into the sunset, it could just as easily mean nothing. 

I don’t care, I guess; I can’t see it any other way. It’s about defeating his dad and learning to deal with the trauma that your shit parents gave you. It’s Saturn Devouring His Son. Jin Keisuke is battling GOD but really, he’s just fighting all the demons that his father passed down to him. He’s fighting his ideals and his past and his old friend. He was fighting his father’s fight, and he’s done now. He’s found people that are like him, who have similar ideals and can support him in a way that his father couldn’t, and so when he rides off into the sunset at the end of the show, it’s maybe the lightest that I think the show has ever felt. He’ll have to deal with the consequences of his father’s actions for the rest of his life, there’s no question about that, but at least now he’s shed most of the baggage he was saddled with and is all the stronger for it. And I really, really don’t think that their intentions going into the show matter, because I think being able to read it that way can be enough for me. It feels like the story itself wanted to be told. It might have been messy, but hell, what weird relationships with your parents aren’t, right? 

Pictured: sure that was probably just a throwaway line but damn, I get why you would associate those things...

TL;DR:

Kamen Rider X is a show where I think that the curtains were blue because that’s what was on sale at the store; maybe yellow curtains were more in season so they got a good deal on the blue ones, and that’s why they used them. Still, whether or not they meant anything by them or not and again, let’s be real, I don’t really think that they did, sometimes they can blow in the breeze and catch the wind just right and ripple like the surface of the ocean, and maybe if you squint your eyes and think about it in just the right way, you can see the debris from the Jin Station floating by. 

Would I recommend Kamen Rider X?

FUCKING UHHHHHHHHHHH look okay. Yes if you’re nuts like me and think that this sounds like at least an interesting ride to watch. I can’t say that it really ever got boring and the fact that it’s only 35 episodes? It goes by fast. I was entertained throughout… that entertainment however did range a little bit from feeling like I was watching a fun little toku show to sometimes maybe watching a car wreck. I might have been rubbernecking down the freeway. I wouldn’t recommend that you start with X. Please, for the love of god, start with something that isn’t X. Heed the warning I wrote at the start. Maybe skip this one if you aren’t interested in thinking about some dude’s dad issues for a few weeks! But… it’s still compelling. I still keep thinking about it. It did a lot accidentally and I like it for that. Jin Keisuke, I wish you all the best! 

ONE MORE THING! I COULDN’T FIND A PLACE TO MENTION THIS BECAUSE THIS IS LIKE THE ONLY THING THAT DOESN’T TIE INTO KEISUKE’S DAD ISSUES BUT ALSO I STILL WANTED TO MENTION IT: THERE ARE LESBIANS!

LET’S GOOOOO CHIKO AND MAKO YEAAAAAHHH!!! 

One last Apollo Geist for the road:

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

Wonderful World - Part 13

Hello friends, here's the next one! I hope you like it! A lot of it is Harry and Celeste in session for those of you who like those parts!

Series Masterlist

WC: 10.1K

Celeste had been pretty quiet when Diana picked her up from Geri’s on Saturday afternoon. She seemed really in her head and even a bit secretive so Diana was a bit worried that maybe something had happened. She had asked already, but Celeste just said she was fine so Diana decided to drop it and just keep an eye on her just in case. It was going to be her last week of school, she had exams coming up and plenty of rehearsing for the final concert the school’s jazz combo was having on the upcoming Thursday. It was going to be a pretty intense week and as much as Diana wanted to just beg her to talk to her about whatever had her acting strange she decided to just trust her and leave her alone. She’d come to her if and when she needed her. Diana had distractions of her own though…

She’d spent basically the whole day with Harry and it gave her no chance to stop thinking about the wonderful night they had together…and then the morning too. The morning had been really good…He’d gone down on her and that’s how she had woken up and well…she returned the favor. But as she showered he had made her breakfast and they ate, and then he gave her a tour of his place and then they lounged around and just talked over some cooking show droning in the background until she had to get home and change before picking up Celeste. She did feel really guilty when she saw Celeste…but then she remembered that Celeste was upset at Harry and that she wouldn’t be taking her to therapy on Monday, which was great. Harry fully intended on showing up to her concert on Thursday, so she had some time to get past the guilt and awkwardness of them being all together on that occasion. It was dinner time now and Celeste had literally been locked away in her room all day, so Diana just shouted up the stairs for her to come eat. Moments later she heard her steps coming down the stairs and she appeared in the kitchen.

“What’re we having?”

“Picadillo. Do you want rice or tortillas?” She asked her as she looked in the fridge.

“Tortillas.” Celeste responded.

“Me too.” Diana hummed and reached for those instead a pulled out her comal - which was basically an iron griddle but for tortillas. She got it on the stove and let it heat up. “So, you’ve been locked in there all day? Are you studying?”

“Yeah…” she hummed and Diana nodded.

“Good. How are you feeling about your final exams?”

“They shouldn’t be too hard…I’m a little worried about Math, but it’s math…”

“You have an A-!” Diana said with a smile and Celeste shrugged.

“If I don’t do good I’ll have a B though…”

“Yeah, that’s fine. B’s happen. And well, I think it’s great to have goals and to push yourself to do as best as you can, but I just want you to know that I won’t harp on you for a B.” She assured and Celeste nodded and smiled. She liked being good at school, Diana never had to push her to do better, she just liked it and she was a smart kid, but that also meant that she could be really tough on herself. Like Diana was…she knew all about this, but her parents did pressure her to be the best, to only get A’s, and well, whether parents believed it or not, pressuring your kid into perfectionism like that can do a lot of damage to their self confidence and she didn’t want that for Celeste. “So…Monday’s your birthday. Do you want to go out just the two of us? Or did you make plans with your friends?” Diana asked.

“Well we did talk about seeing either Guardian’s of the Galaxy or Into the Spider-verse Monday night since on Tuesday we just have to talk about our English paper to the class and then present our Historical event. Ozzy is just finishing up his paper tonight so that he doesn’t have to scramble.”

“Oh, OK. What time is that at?”

“Well, Spiderman is at 7:35 and Guardians of the Galaxy is at 7:50.” She explained.

“Gosh, why so late?” Diana asked with a small grimace.

“Geri starts her volleyball camp thing after school.” Celeste explained.

“Well, that’s cool with me as long as you are ready for your Tuesday finals. Maybe we can grab dinner beforehand?” She asked as she set the tortilla’s down into the heat now.

“Ummm…actually, I was hoping it’s not too late to…be able to talk to Dr. Styles.” She said and Diana turned around with a frown.

“Did something happen at the dance?” She asked immediately and Celeste shook her head right away.

“No!” She responded quickly and Diana looked at her with some skepticism, “I swear!” She insisted and Diana sighed.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes! I just…I wanted to talk to him about taking a break over the summer.” She explained and Diana’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Like things are good now. And I know that doesn’t mean that I don’t need therapy, but maybe just not as frequently? And like…I’m still really upset at him, mom and I just don’t want to drag this feeling with me anymore. Like he really…hurt my feelings.” She explained with a slight frown and Diana pouted when she heard Celeste say that. “I really needed him there, mom.” She said and Diana nodded in understanding, “And everything else is good except that. And I don’t want that negativity to drag into my summer. I think I just need to tell him and…maybe I’ll get over it sooner.” She said and Diana bit her lip.

“Yeah, alright. I’ll let him know if you’re really sure.” Diana said to her.

“I am. I thought you wanted me to go?” She asked.

“Well, yeah. But in your own time.”

“Ummm, mom?”

“Yeah?” 

“The tortillas are burning.” Celeste informed her flatly and Diana whipped around quickly to see that they were smoking as they started to get charred.

“Oh shit!” She exclaimed as she rushed over and she heard Celeste giggling behind her. “Yeah, yeah I know I said a bad word and I owe you 5 bucks.” Diana mumbled as she picked the burnt tortillas off of the heat.

“I’ll let this one slide because you’ve never said one in front of me before.” Celeste joked and Diana chuckled.

“Thank you. I appreciate it.” She responded with slight sarcasm. 

**********

Celeste had been thinking about how she was going to communicate her frustration to Dr. Styles for the past 2 days. She wasn’t sure why she was still so angry and disappointed at him for not showing up. Even she knew that he had to have a good reason for it, but she didn’t care. A part of her believed that she was his favorite patient…that they had a special relationship or bond because they were connected in more ways that one through her mom’s friends. Maybe he did give his cell to all his clients to call him whenever they needed anything. Maybe he went out of his way for all of his clients and hugged them and was really nice to them. And suddenly her anger towards him felt more like sadness…sadness that maybe she put more weight on their relationship than he did. In truth she really liked Dr. Styles, she liked that she could tell that he cared about her. And well…she did like having him around. They all had so much fun at Disneyland or when they went to have sushi that one night…or when he took her advice and adopted Misty…When he was around it kind of felt like she had a dad. Or if she could have a dad she’d want him to be like Dr. Styles and maybe that was an issue… and now she was regretting her decision to come talk to him.

She felt so weird about that and her nerves were making her feel anxious as they rode up to his office in the elevator. As soon as the bell dinged indicating they had reached his floor they walked out and just went a few doors down the hall to his office. Her mom pulled the door open for her and as Celeste went to step inside she was completely shocked to see Dr. Styles smile and jump up from leaning on the reception desk. He had a pocket amp clipped to his belt loop and he had this gorgeous, cream colored electric guitar over him and he immediately started to play the “Happy Birthday” tune in a very edgy, rock style as he sang along. She couldn’t help but smile wide in surprise at this impromptu performance. She glanced back to her mom who looked just as surprised as she did but quickly jumped in to sing along softly with her hands on Celeste’s shoulders.

“Happy birthday dear, Celeeee-est!” he sang, “Happy birthday to you!” He finished the song with a bright smile as her mom started to clap and whoop softly. Celeste knew that her face was likely all pink in embarrassment and as Dr. Styles turned around she caught a glimpse of a cupcake on a plate and he pulled a lighter from his pocket and lit up the sparkly candle that was sunken into the icing and he handed it over to her. “Make a wish.” He said with a smile as he handed the little plate to her and she mulled it over for a second.

She was too busy thinking to notice Dr. Styles briefly glance up to her mom and she shook her head as she mouthed a “thank you” to him at his little surprise. Celeste finally blew out her candle and both Dr. Styles and her mom clapped for her. 

“I wasn’t sure what flavor you preferred so I just went with chocolate because well, s’the best. And there’s raspberry compote inside. S’real gourmet.” He said with a smile and Celeste chuckled.

“Ummm, well chocolate’s my favorite so it works out.” She assured with gratitude and she felt some of her sadness fade away. Surely he didn’t do this for all of his patients’ birthdays.

“Perfect.” He responded, “And you can take your time and eat it here or we can head back and you an eat it there. Or even save it for later? I bought these little takeaway boxes at the culinary store to keep it safe when I brought it over.” He was rambling a bit. Diana knew it was because he was a bit nervous because he knew that somewhere in there Celeste was still upset at him

“We can head in.” She said and he nodded and guided her back. He glanced at Diana once again who wasn’t really instilling any confidence in him at the moment with the small smile she offered him as she took a seat and then he headed inside his office. Celeste had set the cupcake down on the coffee table and had beelined to Misty who was resting on her tower. “Hi Misty.” She said quietly and presented her hand to let her know she was coming closer and misty just took a lick before Celeste started petting her head gently.

“Have you had a good day with it being your birthday and all?” Harry asked as he settled into his seat.

“Yeah…just had my P.E. and geography finals.” She shared, still focused on the cat, “Then just hung out in the library with Geri so we could finish our History presentations.”

“Oh, OK. Were you able to finish up?”

“Yeah.” She responded as she kept petting Misty. 

It was a bit tense and awkward between them right now because Harry knew that initially she didn’t want to see him at all. And well, he did want to apologize to her for letting her down…maybe he should’ve saved the birthday song for the end of the session after they had hopefully patched things up. It was quiet for a few minutes as she just stayed with Misty and Harry sighed and decided he just needed to get to the matter at hand. He shouldn’t be feeling this badly or nervous around a child…especially one that was his patient! But maybe the biggest issue here was that Celeste wasn’t just a patient to him. He cared about her in a bigger way even before he had properly accepted his feelings for Diana. He had a soft spot for her and he just wanted to help her and be there for her and take care of her however he could.

“Ummm Celeste, can we talk for a minute?” He asked and she hummed, “But come here please, you can bring th cat with you.” He said and she carefully grabbed Misty and sat in her usual spot but her eyes stayed fixed on Misty in her lap, “Please look at me. Unless you’re still upset, which I would totally understand but I just want to properly apologize to you.” He said to her and she glanced up at him. Her eyes had started to well up a bit and he frowned, “I’m really, really sorry for letting you down and not showing up to the meeting after I promised a million times I’d be there to support you.” He said and she sniffled, it pained him to know that he had been the person who had let her down after everything, “A client came in and was in total crisis. It was a really big emergency and I tried my best to finish up as fast as possible, but things like that really require me to be thorough to ensure my patients’ safety and I just…I took a lot longer than I expected. By the time I was comfortable in letting him go home it was almost 8:30 and I immediately knew I had messed up.” He said and she wiped under her eye with her hand. 

“I really needed you there.” She sniffled as she finally looked into his eyes properly. He felt this horrible knot in his chest at being the reason why she was so upset.

“I know you did. And I promised I would be, but this was out of my hands. As a psychiatrist I have a responsibility to all of my clients, especially when they’re in crisis. That takes priority over everything else, it could mean a person’s life.” He explained, “And you have every right to be upset, I’m upset too for letting you down like this. I at least wanted to tell your mum, but I didn’t really get a chance to until afterwards.” He said to her and she sighed shakily as her tears kept flowing.

“I just felt like you didn’t care about me or that maybe because we had crossed too many boundaries with you hanging out with us and stuff like that and that you had changed your mind.” She explained and he shook his head.

“No, no I didn’t change my mind. And well…I think that…maybe we have crossed into a more friendly territory which certainly adds more strain and expectations to our relationship.” He agreed, “And well that’s not really your fault. I’ve let the boundary slip, but it’s because I care about you and your mum and her friends are my friends and it’s…just made it easier to let those things mix for me. And that’s completely my responsibility.” He assured her, “I’m really sorry, Celeste. And I understand if you’re still upset, I just wanted to explain myself and apologize for letting you down. I never meant to hurt your feelings like this.”

“No, I understand. And I do forgive you.” She said and he sighed in relief.

“Thank you. I really needed that, I promise you I’ve felt like shit since then.” He confessed.

“You said ‘shit’ so you owe me $5.” She said without really thinking about it.

“What? Did we set up a no cursing rule I forgot about?” He asked in confusion and her eyes widened. 

“Oh no…that’s just…w-with my family. And well, Grace too. Sorry…my mom said that word yesterday when she burned some food by accident and I guess it was just fresh on my mind.” She explained quickly, “Like deja vu you know?” She said with a bit of nerves now and he nodded.

“Yeah, that’s alright.” He assured her. Did she think of him as family? That was the first question that came to his mind. “Umm…you had asked your mum to cancel before and well, you’re here now, right? So what did you want to talk about today?” He asked her as he just decided to move on from this incident which clearly had also made her feel a bit weird.

“Ummm…I know I said I’ve forgiven you just now but I ummm…I was still really upset yesterday by you not showing up and I just needed to talk to you about it because it’s really been messing with me and I just thought that if we got a chance to talk about it, it might help me just get over it.”

“Well do you feel like it has?”

“I guess? I don’t know…like I just…took it really personally and I know I shouldn’t. But I just did and I was just trying to understand why.” She disclosed. 

And well, Celeste knew why now…she had talked to her mom about it already, but she definitely didn’t want to talk to Dr. Styles about this. It would probably make him feel awkward and uncomfortable with her if she explained that…in a way she viewed him as a father. And more than that, it was embarrassing! This was a classic “teen with daddy issues latches to any male figure who shows her a little bit of care” situation. She felt like a cliche! And truly, she believed her life was absolutely perfect until she had started to come to therapy. Her mom had done everything she could to give her everything she could and she took such good care of her, but she could see more than ever how having more help with her made her mom calmer and less worried about her. And more than that, having someone else to go to about issues with her mom had helped their relationship. It had provided a buffer that was so needed but that they’d never had before. It made her feel more supported, like more people had her back and protected her and looked out for her. And when Dr. Styles failed to show up she felt like…he had taken that away from her and it hurt and made her angry.

And as the thought about it now she kind of understood why her mom was so hesitant to date. Maybe her mom was afraid of being in a situation like what had happened to her and Dr. Styles…like one day someone would fail to be there or even pull the rug out from under her and all those wonderful things that come with having another person in the picture would be gone. Letting someone one in also meant presenting an opportunity for getting hurt and that was always scary.

“Celeste?” Harry’s voice called her out of her thoughts and she glanced back to him, “You seem to be thinking about a lot. Do you want to share any of those thoughts? And we can work through some of them to get to the bottom of why you might have taken this so hard?” He asked her.

“Umm…it’s alright.” She shook her head and he tried not to frown a bit. Did she not trust him anymore? Had his absence hurt her in such a way that she didn’t feel like she could be vulnerable with him again.

“You have every right to be upset at me and I won’t be upset at you if you have something negative to say about me or this situation.” He assured her and she bit her lip and shook her head.

“It’s not that. I just think I can manage this on my own.” She said. She was having flashbacks of her dream now and how she called him dad in the heat of an argument. Her face started to go red as she recalled his shock and near horror in her dream. He would surely react in a similar way.

“So you know why you’re still upset at me?” He asked and she nodded. “OK. And I’m sure you can handle it too, but this has a lot to do with my actions and why speculate about them when I’m right here to explain myself or defend myself to you?” He questioned her logic.

“Because it actually has nothing to do with you.” She sighed, “You’re not responsible for how I react though.” She said.

“Well, yes. I can’t actually choose that for you, but I am your therapist and clearly something about this is causing you some turmoil that you don’t want to be feeling and it is my job to help you work through that. To rationalize it and to help you understand where those feelings might be coming from. And especially when my actions have caused you to feel this way I am even more responsible for helping you resolve this.” He insisted and she shook her head.

“Well maybe I just don’t want to talk to you about this.” She said and he frowned.

“Well why not?”

“Because!” She slightly raised her voice.

“Are you still mad at me?”

“Yes!” She groaned and moved Misty out of her lap as she stood up and paced a bit to calm down, “I don’t want to be though! I shouldn’t be…like it’s not that serious!”

“Well clearly it is…” He said and she huffed, completely frustrated, “And if you have an issue with me we need to resolve it for the sake of your progress and our ability to continue working together.” He explained and she looked really nervous.

“What if it’s not something you’ll want to hear?” She asked him.

“Whatever it is, I can handle it. I promise you I can handle it.” He assured her. He was feeling nervous now about what she might say. Being a psychiatrist who practiced a lot more therapy than most psychiatrists he had heard some insane things and knowing Celeste, it wouldn’t be all that bad, but he still felt a bit nervous anytime someone had something to say about him, especially if they were upset at him. She looked so anxious over whatever she was going to say and she just walked over to his sideboard with the record table and looked at the things he had on there as she worked up the courage to explain to him why she had been so impacted by his absence.

Celeste didn’t want him to think that she was weird for feeling like he was a paternal figure to her. She didn’t want him to tell her that maybe she should find another therapist now…there were a lot of ways this could go, but none of them panned out well in her imagination. Yes, her mom had said that these feelings were normal and that this could happen, but that still made her feel odd about it. Especially because she knew that to him, she was just another patient. Another person who paid for his time…who knows how many people sat in the same spot she did and received his empathy, care, and support! She didn’t like feeling this way around him, unsure and nervous…he usually made her feel safe and looked after and she was scared that it was going to change everything. 

“I ummm…I had a dream the other night where we were here and I was really angry at you f-for bailing on the meeting and I was just shouting at you…” she said as she lifted the needle to the record player. Her eyes started welling up as the anxiety got the best of her, “and I…I called you “dad” on accident and you freaked out on me and kicked me out of here.” She said and then whipped around to see his reaction. He did look a bit caught off guard but not upset or weirded out.

“Oh.” Was all he said. He was definitely feeling nervous now because well yeah, for a normal client-clinician relationship this needed to be addressed and boundaries needed to be tightened up. But for them it was more complex. It wasn’t just her mind blurring the lines, he had literally blurred the lines. He had done more than he should have, he got more involved, he made things more personal…he cared about her more than just a client. He wouldn’t go as far as saying that he saw her as a daughter, but he did feel more affection for her as an extension of Diana. He knew that if he were to find a way to be with Diana that he would take on that role for Celeste, but he had no idea that he’d already been doing that for her.

He was silent for a moment too long and Celeste shook her head as the anxiety started to take over and she exhaled shakily. 

“I’m sorry…I knew I wasn’t ready to talk to you.” She said softly, “I think I should go.” he frowned as she beelined for his office door.

“Hey, hey, hey, hang on!” He said and she sighed as she stopped a few feet from him.

“Just give me a few minutes, yeah? M’processing too.” He said and she bit her lip.

“Can you process faster?” She asked and he chuckled softly.

“Just sit for a second, let’s talk about why you feel this way.” He said and she reluctantly sat back before him again, hugging a pillow to her chest now to comfort her through his uncomfortable confession she made to him.

“I ummm…I know why I feel that way now, I-I talk to my mom about it.” She said and his eyes widened more now.

“Oh?”

“Yeah…” she said as she just started at the floor the whole time, avoiding his eyes, “She said there’s like a term for it…when you like place your feelings about someone else onto your therapist or something like that.” She huffed.

“Yeah, transference.” He said and she nodded.

“Yeah, that’s it.” She confirmed, still avoiding his gaze, “She was saying that maybe in you not showing up it just reminded me about how, even though I never met him and he’s gone, I’ve felt like my dad hasn’t shown up for me.” She recalled what her mom had said to her, “And it’s…true. When it all clicked in my brain that was exactly it. And she said that’s normal? And like…if it is, why does it feel weird?” She asked.

“Well, I don’t know? What about feeling that way towards me feels weird to you?” He asked her and she sighed.

“I don’t know…”

“You do.” He insisted and she groaned and slumped further into the seat, “What’s the first thing that comes to mind?” He asked her and she sighed.

“That I’m just your patient!” She said with a frown and he hummed. “Whenever you determine that everything’s good with me then this is over and we just go our separate ways like nothing ever happened here! And just like him, you’re gonna be out of my life forever more! Like…my mom pays you to talk to me and care about me and I just feel stupid for making it feel like more than that.” She explained with tears streaking down her cheeks now and he pouted.

“Hey, look at me.” He said gently and she shook her head, “Please, Celeste. I want to talk to you about this properly.” He appealed to her and she sighed shakily before glancing to him and he was wearing a small frown.

“Your mum’s right, this is quite normal except that for patient’s this is usually something that just happens on it’s own, but in your case I’m…responsible for a lot of this.” He said and she sniffled.

“How?”

“Well, because I made it more personal than I normally would.” He explained, “And I am so sorry that it has led us to this, I never meant to cause you any harm or even make you feel this way but I just…after meeting you and getting to know you better I just wanted to help you as much as possible. I can’t pretend that I haven’t done things pretty unconventionally with you, I mean…going to dinner with you and your mum, and hanging out with our mutual friends….like…we’ve been connecting outside of the therapeutic relationship and well, it’s actually quite a big no-no for this very reason.” He explained, “It often causes a lot more harm than good to our clients and that’s…that’s the opposite of what I wanted.”

“So I’m just like any other patient of yours?” She asked sadly and he sighed.

“You should be, but you’re not.” He explained and she sniffled, “I do care and worry for you a lot more than I ought to. And the more I realize that I don’t know how good of a therapist that can continue to make me for you.” He explained, “And that makes me sad because I love being there for you and I have fun when we get all hang out with Grace and Henry,” he said with a smile, “but that has changed the way I interact with you and it has clearly changed the way you feel and interact with me, right?” He asked and she nodded, “And I promise you, I don’t sing happy birthday and bake for all of my patients’ birthdays.” He assured and she chuckled through her tears, “I just…I just really was upset with myself for letting you down. More than I ought to for any other normal patient. So I…I feel that I needed to make up for failing you with the meeting. Your mom did tell me about how the meeting went and I am so proud of you for being so mature about everything, for keeping it together despite your anxiety. For showing compassion towards Megan!” He said with a smile, “And I feel like I should look after you and help out with you more and…I feel responsible for you in a way. And even on the days we don’t get to see each other I wonder if anyone has said something to you at school or done something to hurt your feelings and it…it makes me sad to think that you have to wait until Mondays to share that with me and get help with anything.” He admitted, “So it’s not your fault that you’ve painted that picture of me in your head. I suppose that those are some pretty fatherly things to do and be concerned over.” He finished and she reached for a tissue and dabbed under her eyes.

“Yeah…” she said softly, “And it’s not like my mom doesn’t do a good job and try hard or isn’t enough, it’s just…different.” She said and he hummed.

“How so?” He asked.

“Well…like…if I had a dad my mom wouldn’t have to be the only person stressing out. There would be someone she could share that with and talk to about it. There would be someone who could help her. And like…I know she’s my mom and she’ll always be concerned about me, but…sometimes I feel like…maybe it’s too much for one person.” She explained and he nodded in understanding, “I feel bad that…all of this has happened to me and I’m sure it’s been hard for her to deal with it too and like it’s only her issue, you know? And with you around I can tell that she’s felt…not so alone in this.” She said and he nodded in understanding, “Like…when something goes wrong and I’m not ready to talk about it with her she tells me that I can talk to you first and like that’s nice because she doesn’t feel like it’s all on her when I don’t want to talk yet.”

“Yeah, she’s learned to trust me with you, I think.” He explained and she nodded.

“Exactly. And like…I know that, that’s a big deal for her. When I was little she didn’t even hire nannies because…she just didn’t trust them.” Celeste explained, “And it’s always been us! And like I said before, it’s been really good, but I can see how it’s been even better now and that makes me feel like in a way you’re part of our family and well…if she’s the mom then…”

“I’m the dad.” He finished for her when she didn’t say it and she just nodded as she looked into his eyes nervously. And well, Harry wished he could just tell her how much Diana meant to him and how he was falling in love with her and that if she wanted to accept it, they could…be something more similar to a family. He hadn’t let his walls down enough to care about Celeste how he could if he and Diana ended up together because it was still an unknown and he also didn’t want to get hurt. But if this was the reaction after he didn’t show up for one thing he was worried to fail her as a therapist again. If he and Diana were more then he could be there for Celeste in the way that she now recognized she wanted.

“Well…just in listening to what you’re saying it sounds like you kind of feel like something has been missing? Is that a fair assumption for me to make?” He asked and she nodded, “And now that you’ve experienced this you think that what’s been missing from your life is a father figure, right?” He asked and she nodded again, “Well, last time we talked about your mum potentially seeing someone it upset you, quite a bit actually. Do you remember?” He asked and she nodded, “You felt like with someone else in your lives she wouldn’t have time for you anymore.”

“Yeah.” She confirmed.

“So has that changed for you?” He asked and she shrugged, “Because if you want someone to be integrated into your family, a father figure, that kind of requires for your mum to…date people and eventually have a partner. To have someone to share the load with her and to also be there for you in the way that you want.” He said and she bit her lip, “So when you think of it in that way do you still feel the same?” He asked and she shook her head.

“I just…I don’t want her to forget about me.” She explained softly.

“Your mum will never forget about you. She loves you so much, Celeste. No one could ever replace the place you have in her heart and in her life right?”

“Right.” She said and he smiled.

“Right.” He confirmed and she sighed, “You know…I think that in order to really figure out how you guys can move forward with that it might require some family therapy. So you can both share your desires and needs.”

“With you?” She asked and he chuckled and shook his head.

“I don’t think I’d a good fit for that, petal, too many blurred lines.” He said and she sighed, “But…I mean, it’s worth a shot.”

“I do want my mom to be happy though.”

“Do you think that she also feels like maybe something is missing?” He asked her and Celeste bit her lip for a moment as she thought.

“I don’t know if she knows but…I think she feels it sometimes? Like I can tell she feels that way sometimes.” She said with a small frown, “She’s always saying that she’d only want someone who would be nice to me and understand that I’m a priority in her life and like…I would want that too but…if it’s gonna be her boyfriend then she just needs to like him, no?”

“Well, it is a bit different when someone has kids. Even if you don’t have a dad, you two are still an established family, you know? And well, some people just don’t fit with certain families so she needs to consider how someone new would…impact your family, you know? So yeah, I mean I’m sure she’d date for herself, but also keep in mind that whoever she chooses needs to also be good for you.”

“Yeah…” she sighed. “I just…feel bad for her sometimes.” She confessed, “Like…I don’t think she’s gotten to be happy enough before and lately she…seems better? Like when I brought my dad up on Friday it’s the first time she didn’t cry when she talked bout him.” She shared, “And like, I don’t know if that was a one time thing or if she’s getting better? I hope she is…” she said and Harry wanted to smile so badly because he knew that, that had to be because of him. “I don’t know…I feel selfish sometimes, like everything is about me.”

“Well, your mum chose to have you so in a way, a lot of her life is about you and that’s OK. She wanted that, she wanted you. But I think that sometimes parents are really good about just focusing on their kids only and they forget to take care of themselves sometimes and maybe you can help her with that? Maybe remind her to do things for herself that are nice and in that way you can also show her that you care about her and her personal happiness.” He suggested and she nodded with a smile.

“OK. I will.” She stated and he smiled.

“Good.” He hummed, “So, no weirdness between us or anything like that?” He asked and she sighed.

“I mean…just a little bit, but not like before.” She said honestly and he smiled.

“Well, I’ll take that!” He exclaimed and she giggled. “So, what do you think you’ve learned in our time together so far?” He asked and she hummed.

“Well, I think to be more honest about my feelings and to communicate when I’m not ready to share something I’m going through or feeling…I ummm, I’ve learned that forgiveness is supposed to benefit me more than others.” She said and he nodded, “And…I think to manage my anxiety better too.” She said and he smiled.

“Good. And I know that things have gotten better for you in terms of the situation that brought you to me in the first place, but that doesn’t mean that you don’t need therapy anymore, you know?” He said and she nodded.

“Yeah, I was thinking that too…it was another thing I wanted to talk to you about…like over the summer maybe we can see each other every other week? I feel really good right now.” She said and he smiled.

“Good. That’s so good to hear.” He smiled with pride and she smiled and nodded.

“Thank you for all your help. I couldn’t have made it this far without you.” She said and he smiled.

“I’m glad I could help. And thank you too for being so open. Therapy isn’t easy for a lot of people and well, I know we’ve had some challenges of our own, but I think we’ve worked through them pretty well.” He shrugged.

“I think so too.” She smiled.

“So yeah, let’s work on a bi-weekly basis then and if you feel like we can go for less after a few weeks we can do that too. It just needs to work for you.” He assured and she nodded, “And like…I just want to make sure that everything between us is good and not murky. So if that means that it’s better that I don’t hang out with Grace and Henry when I know you and your mum will be around, please let me know. He’s my best friend, but we can spend time together on other occasions, you know?”

“I like it when you guys are all together, it just…seems right.” She said and he smiled. He felt that it was right too.

“Yeah, I get what you mean. But if you feel like it’s blurring too many lines I think it’s important that I take a step back from that.”

“Right…” she sighed, “Can I think about it?”

“Of course you can.” He assured and Celeste nodded and smiled.

They talked a bit more about her finals, he gave her some tips to ground herself and manage her nerves, but also some brain tricks to help her memorize her material better for her math class, which is what she was most worried about all while she ate her cupcake. She wanted to tell him about getting asked out at the dance because she was a little nervous to tell her mom, but she decided against that too, she could keep that to herself for now. And so as they started to wrap things up he made her appointment for two weeks from now as they talked about summer plans as Celeste petted Misty again who was obsessed with the attention. They were soon heading back to the office door and before she stepped out Harry tapped on her shoulder.

“Hey umm, I just want to let you know that I’ll be at your concert on Thursday, OK? I promise.” He said extending his pink out to her and she smiled.

“For real?” She asked and he nodded.

“Yes, for real.” He assured her and she then locked her pinky with his for a moment, “Alright, kiddo.” He said and she frowned.

“I’m not a kid.” She said as she opened the door and he scoffed as he followed her into the reception area.

“You’re 15! You’re a kid.” He said with a chuckle as he glanced up to Diana who was smiling as she listened to their interaction.

“Whatever…” Celeste huffed as she glanced back at him briefly before going up to Diana.

“Ready?” She asked and Celeste nodded.

“Umm, we’re gonna meet every other week now. Celeste is doing really well and of course, we can go back to weekly at any time, but we’re gonna try this for a bit.”

“Oh, OK.” Diana smiled at her as she came up and grabbed her bag. 

“Oh, I really like your glasses today. They look really good on you. Just the ensemble is really good.” Harry complimented Diana without really thinking. It also caught her off guard and his eyes widened along with hers for a moment before she responded.

“Oh, thanks.” She giggled bashfully and as Celeste glanced to her mom subtly she saw her look at her feet timidly as her cheeks blushed pink. 

“Ummm, yeah of course.” He said with a friendly smile. “So, any fun birthday plans?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna see a movie with my friends tonight.” Celeste shared as she got her backpack back on.

“Oh nice! Which one?” He asked.

“Guardians of the Galaxy.” She shared with excitement.

“Oh cool.” He smiled.

“Have you seen it?” She asked and he shook his head.

“Oh no, I’m more of a history/artsy films guy.” He confessed and Celeste’s face scrunched up in distaste.

“Don’t tell me you watch those History channel specials-”

“Hey, don’t drag the History channel through the dirt again.” Diana cut in and Celeste immediately laughed.

“I have to agree with your mum. But maybe it’s just an old people thing, you know?” He said and Diana turned to him quickly.

“Speak for yourself, Harry!” Diana scoffed through her chuckle and Celeste laughed loudly.

“Right, my bad…” he smiled at them, “Well you have fun at your movie with your friends and we’ll see each other soon.” He said and Celeste nodded.

“See you soon.” She agreed as she made her way to the door.

“Goodnight, Harry.”

“Goodnight, Diana.” Harry responded with a soft smile as they stepped out of his office and he locked up behind them. As soon as they settled in the elevator Celeste turned to Diana with a grin.

“Dr. Styles made you blush. I saw it!” She teased and Diana shrugged.

“His compliment caught me off guard, OK?” She defended and Celeste smiled and decided not to embarrass her mom any further.

“That’s true…” she hummed, “I talked to him about the whole…dad thing.” She shared and Diana glanced over to her in concern.

“What did he say?”

“Just that it’s understandable since he has also just been a bit blurry with the boundaries. So he said he was sorry if that made me confused and like…yeah, that was pretty much it. He wasn’t weird about it though.”

“Well, I’m glad you guys got to clear that up.” She said and Celeste nodded, “Alright, so what’s the plan? Go home and change and are we picking anyone up?” 

“Ummm…Ozzy I think. Let me check.” She said as she reached for her phone in her backpack, “Yeah, we need to get Ozzy. And then Geri’s dad is getting us after since he’ll be getting off his shift.”

“OK, perfect.” Diana said and Celeste hummed, “Did your uncle call you?”

“Yeah, at midnight last night…” Celeste huffed and Diana chuckled.

“Of course he did…” she mumbled. “So where are we eating though?”

“Ummm…sushi?” Celeste asked and Diana nodded.

“Sounds good. Get changed and I’ll find a place near the theater. Is Ozzy good with sushi?”

“No, but he can eat a teriyaki chicken bowl or something.” Celeste said and Diana laughed lowly.

“I guess…”

“Mom, when did you go on your first date?” Celeste asked and Diana hummed pensively.

“Well…unofficially, and by that I mean it was a secret from my parents, I was 15 and I met up with the boy at the Westfield in Topanga. Officially, with your dad until my senior year.”

“What?!”

“Well my mom caught me kissing that boy from the mall when she picked me up and she lost her mind…he told other people and well, no one wanted to date me because she was crazy and yeah.” Diana explained.

“And that was your first kiss?”

“Yep…god…what a mess.” Diana chuckled as she recalled, “Why the sudden interest in dating?”

“I just wanted to know when a good age would be to like…say yes if someone were to ask me out or something?” 

“Oh…well there’s not really an ideal age, just when you feel ready I suppose.” Diana said and Celeste nodded. She was only asking because she had invited Ben when she ran into him over lunch and he said he would go. She didn’t feel as nervous as she thought she would, but maybe because her friends knew him too and that was always helpful. Besides, she had let him know it was for her birthday and well she wasn’t really qualifying this as a date…they were in a group so not much of a date setting, really. “Did Ozzy get back with his girlfriend?”

“Oh no…but he likes someone else already anyway, so he’s doing better.” Celeste assured.

“Good.” Diana smiled. After a few minutes they were pulling into their house and Celeste was rushing out of the car before Diana could even properly park it. “Careful!” She shouted after her as she rushed to the front door and Diana shook her head. When she made it inside and up the stairs she knocked on Celeste’s door a few times to tell her they should aim to go in 20 minutes the most so that they had enough time to eat before, but there was no answer and as she peeked her head into her room she heard the shower running from the bathroom and Diana sighed as she walked further in. “Hey, be quick or we’re not gonna have time to eat!” She shouted.

“OK!” Celeste’s muffled voice sounded through the room before Diana headed off to her own bedroom to dress down a bit. She pulled out her phone to plug it in since she’d drained the battery playing games waiting for Celeste. She saw a message from Harry where he apologized for his random compliment. She bit her lip for a moment before deciding to call him. It only rang twice before he picked up.

“Hey.” He answered and she could hear the smile in his voice.

“Hey Harry, do you have plans tonight?” She asked.

“I thought you were going to the cinema?”

“Celeste is…with her friends only.” She said with a slightly bitter tone.

“Awww, m’sorry, love. Did you want to go?” He asked.

“Partly, because it’s her birthday. But then I don’t want to pay for a ticket and fall asleep 30 minutes in, you know? Mostly she just wanted it to be a thing with her friends.” She said and he laughed.

“Bailed on by a kid…and well, the not wanting to pay for a nap is very valid.” he finally responded and she grinned, “But to answer your initial question, I’m not busy. We can meet up somewhere nearby where you drop them off?”

“Yeah, sure. They’re gonna be at The Grove, I’m dropping them off at 7:30.”

“Oh, OK! I have a mate who works at Catch, s’right near The Grove. I’m sure he can get us a table last minute? Have you been there?” He asked.

“The rooftop place, right?” She asked.

“Yeah.” He confirmed.

“Yeah, I like that place, let’s go then.”

“Perfect, I’ll call him now alright?”

“Perfect.” She responded, “Also, I’m not on pick up duty so I can drop you off at hime afterwards?” She suggested.

“Yeah, let’s do that then.”

Sounds good.” She confirmed, “Oh, and Harry?”

“Yeah, love?” He asked.

“I uh..I can’t wait to see you.” She confessed bashfully but with the giddiest smile and all of the blood rushing to her face. This made Harry smile so hard that it was hard for him to even think right now.

“Neither can I, baby.” He grinned, “See you in a bit.”

“See ya.” She said softly before they hung up. 

Now Diana wanted to have a quick shower too and she glanced at her shower real quick before deciding to just wash up real fast and exfoliate every part of her body with a scrub. It took her about 15 minutes, but when she went out to check her phone she saw that a text from Celeste had come in just 4 minutes ago asking if they could just skip dinner because she wanted to dress up a bit and that she’d just east at the theater. Diana just liked the message and rushed back to her bathroom. It was understandable that Celeste wanted to get dolled up for her birthday, and well Diana knew she couldn’t look like she was going on a date when they left the house so she picked a nice top, shoes, and her perfume which she then hurried to place neatly in the trunk of the car before rushing back up to her room stealthily and getting into a t-shirt. As much as she told herself that she needed the top because Catch was a sort of cute place that required some effort, she really wanted to look cute for Harry. She did some light make up and decided to just take a pencil liner with her to make it more of a sultry look in the car before she met Harry. She was buzzing in anticipation the entire time. After she dropped the kids off begging them to be good she waited a few minutes and then grabbed her things from the trunk and went to find a bathroom to get changed. Harry had let her know that he was about 10 minutes away so she rushed a bit before she ran back to her car and hurried off to the place. As soon as he saw her car he waved from the entrance and she slowed down in front of the entrance. Harry rushed over to her and she rolled the passenger window down.

“Hey, l got you valet.” He informed with a smile.

“Oh, thank you.” She said and he nodded as he backed away. She got the window up and then herself out of the car as an attendant came up and slipped inside. 

“Got your ticket.” Harry said, patting at his pant pocket before extending his hand as she approached the sidewalk.

“Good.” She said as she took his hand and he then guided them inside. They rode up and were quickly seated at their table overlooking Hollywood. “This is nice. I haven’t been here in a while.” She said.

“Me either, it’s nice.” He smiled as he reached for her hand across the table and she smiled as he fiddled with her fingers a bit.

“Celeste told me she told you about her dream from the other night.” She brought up and he smiled a bit.

“Yeah…she was so nervous to tell me.” He recounted and Diana nodded, “I feel bad because a lot of it is my fault…” he said softly, “Like…I couldn’t help but care a little more before just because of what she was going through, but then I started to like you and…it made me a lot more softer for her.” He said and Diana smiled.

“She appreciates it though, how you are with her.”

“Yeah.” He hummed, “Also, great job explaining transference! Maybe we need to get you licensed as well.” He said with a smile and she giggled.

“Maybe…” she responded softly, “I’m just glad I was able to help her process that a bit.” Diana said and he nodded.

“You did, you did so well. There was a moment there where I just…wanted to tell her how I feel about you, you know? Like…just with some of the stuff she was saying…like it made me want to assure her that like things could stay the way they’ve been if we just…” he trailed off and Diana smiled sadly.

“Yeah. I just need to find a way to talk to her…I don’t want you to be a secret, you know? That’s tough.” She said and he nodded in understanding.

“We’ll figure it out.” He said with a bit more confidence and she nodded. 

They were at the restaurant for about an hour before they decided to head back to his. They crashed through the door quickly and as soon as they were inside he pressed their weight against it to shut it as he kissed Diana ardently. She felt around for the lock and she hummed in victory when it dead-bolted into place.

“Do you wanna go in the hot tub?” He mumbled against her lips and she bit her bottom lip to suppress her smile as she nodded.

“Yeah.” She grinned.

“Mkay.” He smiled, “And…do you wanna do tequila shots?” He asked next and she giggled.

“On a school night?!” She asked teasingly and he kissed her lips quickly.

“Yep.” He confirmed.

“You’re trying to be a bad influence.” She hummed playfully.

“Perfect! Be bad with me.” He grinned and she shrugged.

“Yeah, alright.” She agreed easily and he chuckled as his hands slid up her waist but, under her shirt.

“As beautiful as this looks on you…s’gotta come off.” He said lowly before he helped peel the top off of her. He then undid her jeans as well and got them off before he quickly undressed himself and guided her over to the kitchen in the dark. When the lights flicked on in the kitchen he sat her on top of the counter and went looking for the tequila bottle, “It’s reposado, is that OK?” He said and she giggled.

“Say it again.” She grinned and he pouted at her.

“No, you’re gonna make fun.” He said as he reached for the bottle.

“Harry…” she whined and he ignored her as he grabbed two shot glasses, “Please.” She begged as he set the things down beside her.

“Want a lime?” He asked her and she grabbed one of his hands and squeezed, which made him look over to her, “What is it, baby?”

“Say it again.” She asked sweetly and he smirked as he shook his head, “Please, baby?” She asked and he sighed in defeat.

“Reposado.” He said and she grinned wide, “Jerk.” He said with a grin and she shook her head.

“No, I’ll help you say it properly.” She said and he huffed, “You have to roll the r.”

“I did try to!” He said and she sighed.

“We’ll keep practicing. You’ll get it soon.” She assured and he hummed.

“Now, lime or no lime?”

“No lime.”

“Fine, no lime.” He said as he started to pour the shots.

“And what are we toasting to tonight?” She asked as he handed her one shot glass.

“Celeste. Because she’s 15 and doing way better, and it’s her birthday.” He said and Diana smiled.

“Alright, to Celeste.” She said and he repeated after her before they both took their shot. The tequila was good, so it went down pretty smooth. That didn’t stop her from grimacing a bit at the aftertaste but that soon faded when Harry’s lips smeared against hers as his tongue invaded her mouth. She set her shot glass down and grabbed his jaw tenderly as their mouths moved together hungrily.

“One more?” He asked and she parted from his lips.

“Just bring the bottle.” She suggested.

“OK.” He smiled and he helped her down from the counter and they hurried outside. It wasn’t all that hot in LA yet, oddly enough, so when they dipped into the hot water it felt amazing. As soon as they were in Harry pulled her into his arms and sat her on his lap sideways. “Kiss me.” He said softly and she smiled.

“Gladly.” She whispered before straddling his lap and attaching her lips with his own.

*********

Everything had been going pretty great so far. When they all met up at the theatre Ben had actually insisted on buying Celeste her snacks for the movie. And well, they ended up sitting beside each other and after their hands crashed in the popcorn bucket a few times Ben had just decided to move it aside and extend his hand to hers. Celeste had not been expecting that and an intense warmth and flutter traveled through her body when their hands clasped together. They exchanged a look that made her feel like they were alone in the world and she swallowed the giant lump forming in her throat. He smiled at her slightly nervous and she exhaled shakily before turning back to the screen before her own lips inevitably turned up in a smile as well. 

Maybe this was a date after all.

-

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----Tag List----

@permanentllyharry @gurugirl @sunshinemoonsposts @ottawaoutlander @matildasatellite @cherrysulewski @jessitpwk @justlemmeadoreyou @sunflovverharry @daphnesutton @angelbabyyy99 @sad-avocado @keriberi @reveriehs

[afterthegreatunknown]

Send me a romantic ship and I’ll give you:

Ehmmmm… perhaps OlafxKit? I love those two so much. They looked very cute before the whole schism happened. Though I am pretty sure that it was toxic from the Olaf’s side, but I think he sincerely loved her.

Oooh, Kitlaf! You picked a good one!

honest opinion of it: I don't want to say it's an otp for either character, but GOD it is a ship that I feel strongly about because it's so important. Like, extremely important. The history that was only barely implied in The End is something that is so much for both, and I love how with re-reads, while I feel both are 100% DONE and OVER with one another, there was enough tenderness remaining for them to get closure of sorts (especially Olaf, and let me say that Netflix's scene of THAT MOMENT in The End is perfect).

Who I think got feelings for the other person one: Olaf. Factoring this is that Olaf is younger than Kit (Olaf is around Lemony's age) and thought her as cool and smart and pretty and 'oh not do I have FEELINGS FOR HER' drain pipe.

Who I think asked out the person first: Kit. In contrast to Olaf having the feelings first, Kit upon seeing/viewing as more than her little's brother Dramatic Friend #2 (Number One is Beatrice) + finally deciding to figure out what to do with the realization, decided one day to ask him out.

Which one is likely to buy the other coffee/prefer drink: Olaf. And he makes sure that the ordered drink is right. Legit the "She asked for no sugar in her coffee may I please speak to your manager" deal.

Which one likes to cuddle more: Kit, and this is something she made sure none of her associates see. She once woken up to her and Olaf sleeping with on another on a sofa, and was so happy and giddy and smiling until she heard someone chewing their cereal and it was Jacques and Lemony watching together and she throttles them.

Ideal Date Locations: Old Movie Theaters, Olaf's house (mainly the library), Briny Beach, Non-VFD Associated Restaurants (I feel they wanted to be far away from the organization if possible).

What was their first fight about: Rumors about Olaf's parents and their wavering loyalty to the Firefighting side of VFD had Kit asking Olaf if he could uh, dig into this. Olaf was insulted for Kit to doubting his parents, because that means Kit would eventually have doubts on him. The fight was awful, and they would have likely broken up if Kit didn't get advice from Bertrand (yeah), and Olaf didn't get advice from Beatrice (YEAH) that got them to reconcile.

How did they break up: Once again, Olaf's parents are in play here. Not long after the Opera Night, Olaf entered a downward spiral and became a bit destructive, setting minor fires to 'relax' and destroying property in the dead of night. Meanwhile, Kit starts to be haunted by nightmares of Olaf's parents, for Kit truly loved Olaf's parents; she saw them as her own substitute parents, and start becoming withdrawn. Especially to Olaf, who now became more bold in his habit, doing it in daylight now.

It all came to head when Esme after a long debate to tell this to Olaf (because she truly thought it would help) told how she saw Kit with a box of now confirmed missing darts that night. Olaf confronted Kit over this, and Kit was insulted how Olaf has doubts on her now (but doubts that she knew, are warranted). Needless to say, they broke up after Kit threw away her ring (Olaf had given it to her as more of a 'boyfriend-girlfriend' symbol than engagement ring).

Olaf in a rage later that night, slashed all but one of her car tires. Kit was pissed because she had to pay out of her pocket; if it was all four, her insurance would covered it, and she knows Olaf knows this.

Thank you for ask, dear anon! I hope this was a sufficient answer!

[raspberrysunshinebby]

Two Choices

(I’m gonna change the name I promise. Please send suggestions.)

Chapter 2

Pairing: Eris x reader x Azriel

Summary: The future wife of Eris never cared much for mating bonds, she had spent years in love with Eris and when Beron finally dies they can be together. He has full intention to make his love into his High Lady until at a party meant to celebrate Eris’ reign the girl finds herself finding her mate, Azriel.

Warnings: Slight smut, angst, tell me if I missed something.

Word Count: 4625

(I’m rlly sorry for what im about to do to Azriel’s character)

The next morning I’d woken up to Eris already gone. I’d assumed he’d gone to go spar with his brothers, I went to go change but quickly remembered I wasn’t in my room. As I looked around I noticed a simple pink dress sitting on a chair, I assumed Eris left it there and I went to put it on.

I quickly noticed how puffy my face was from all the crying, and how red it was. I was also scared people would question why Eris and I slept here tonight instead of in his room. I really didn’t want anyone to know about this, not at least until I beat it into Eris’ head that I would choose him over anyone, even my mate.

The doors quickly opened to my handmaid's entering with makeup and hair things, happy I was already dressed.

“What's going on?” I asked the Lady next to me. “The Night Court is to arrive soon and Eris requested we do your hair and makeup.” She told me.

Something about that hurt. Knowing Eris set up this meeting without discussing the bond with me first hurt. The fact he wanted me done too? That made it hurt even more.

“Where is he?” I asked. 

“Downstairs discussing preparations with staff.” She answered quietly.

I quickly got up from my seat to head to him. I couldn’t have this meeting, I didn’t want this meeting.

I quickly found him discussing with kitchen staff before I yelled out his name. When he looked to be, I motioned towards the dining hall, which I knew no one was in.

“What the fuck is this meeting about?” I asked him when we walked in. 

He sighed, “I think it's pretty obvious it's about you.”

“Why?” 

He looked at me like the answer was so obvious, “Azriel is your mate, (Y/N). This meeting is to discuss what to do about that.”

“There is nothing to discuss,” I told him, “I don't want to be even near Azriel. I want nothing to do with the Night Court.” 

“He is your mate. You should at least try.” He said quietly.

My heart dropped, “No!” I said firmly, “I don't want to, I want nothing with him Eris.”

“And what if one day you decide you do?” He raised his voice. This caught me off guard, he’d never done that.

“Tell me, what happens when you decide you want the bond? Will there be an affair? Will I be to blame?” He told me.

I stayed silent, not because I felt like he was right, but because I couldn’t believe he’d think I’d ever do that. 

“The bond is placed for a reason (Y/N). I want you to find out whether or not you are compatible now rather than later. I don't want to watch you not want me when we’re married.” 

“Last night it didn’t seem like you wanted me anymore,” I said, holding back tears. 

“Oh my cauldron, (Y/N). I-” 

“You didn’t even look at me!” I cut him off. 

He stayed silent for a second, “I’m sorry but it's not my fault you got mated to a man I hate.”

At this point, I was crying, “It’s not mine either!”

I heard him whisper, “I know, I know.”

I’m not sure if we both would’ve started yelling or crying at each other. Before we could, a maid knocked to tell us the Night Court had arrived.

I whipped the tears from my eyes and tried to compose myself, Eris took his fingers and combed down some parts of my hair that were messy—almost making me cry again. 

We walked out of the room together, but I was about a foot ahead of him.

When we entered the room I saw a few members of the Night Court, the Highlord and Lady, Azriel, and another winged male. The seats were set up on both sides. I wanted to take a seat on the couch that was placed on the side where Eris would be sitting but I didn’t know if I should. I eventually decided to sit on the couch with Eris but on the other side away from him.

“Have you thought about the Eris deal?” Rhysand started. This confused me, I never heard anything about a deal.

“Yes, I did,” Eris responded.

“What deal?” I asked.

Everyone was silent before Rhysand spoke again, “We were discussing having you switch from here to the Night Court every two weeks. To help you figure out your whole. Situation.” 

My jaw dropped, “There's nothing to figure out. I’m staying here with my fiance and that's final.”

“You forget you're still my mate,” Azriel started, “I don't plan on kidnapping you in your sleep but I do plan on being persistent on giving us a shot.”

“There is no us,” I responded.

“(Y/N).” Eris stated my name, “He has every right to want to do that. He’s your mate.”

I looked at him shocked, “I can't fucking believe you're taking their side.” I told him. 

Eris took a deep breath, “As your High Lord I’m telling you to take the deal. You’ll be leaving for two weeks tonight.” 

Azriel was about to say something but it didn’t matter, I stood from my seat and rushed to my room. Not waiting to hear anyone try to stop me.

I didn’t understand why Eris was doing this. I was to be his Highlady and he was allowing me to be sent off to some other man. 

I noticed shadows following me under my door but I paid them no mind as I forced myself under my covers to cry. Maybe if I was lucky they’d forget I was here if I stayed long enough.

I’m not sure how long I laid there as I eventually fell asleep, but when I woke up it was already nighttime. I walked down the hall hungry and tired still when I heard two voices.

“You're selling my sister off like a broodmare!” I recognized the voice as my oldest brother, Silas.

“That is not what is going on. She is not being sold, and this will be her choice.” I heard Eris say.

“Bullshit, she doesn’t even want to go in the first place and you're making her go. Where is her choice here?” Silas responded.

“You don't understand Silas, I want her to know whether or not she wants to be with Azriel now.”

“She doesn’t!” Silas yelled, “She doesn’t give a fuck about him, you told me yourself! You're being fucking delusional! You're going to fucking lose her not cause of Azriel but cause of you!”

“She's going. Whether you like it or not.”

I heard something crash before my brother angrily came out of Eris’ office. The door slammed and Silas saw me, his face immediately softened.

“He’s really making me go, isn’t he?” I softly asked him.

My brother wrapped his arms around me, I expected myself to cry but I didn’t. “I’m sorry my sweet girl.” was all he could muster out.

Silas told me Rhysand and Azriel would be here soon, leading us to slowly walk to the sitting room they’d be winnowing to.

About five minutes of us waiting happened until the two showed up to take me away. I stalled for about two minutes before we left, waiting to see if Eris would come to say goodbye.

He never did.

I was brought to a place they called ‘The House of Wind’ and brought to a room. I found there were Night Court gowns and nightdresses for me, but I stuck to the Autumn Court ones I had brought with me.

“You haven’t eaten today, have you?” Azriel asked me, “I can have some food brought to you.”

“I’m fine.” That is all I said.

He paused for a moment, “Feyre and Rhysand made a deal somewhat like this,” He told me, “it worked out for them. I hope it works out for us.” He said quietly.

After I hadn’t said anything for a little while he eventually left. 

I lay in bed for maybe minutes or hours before I realized I could not fall asleep, I was so tired yet I couldn't.

I’d only been able to fall asleep alone during the day due to the anger I felt against Eris, but now that I’d calmed down, all I wanted was him. I couldn’t sleep without him. 

Eventually, I grabbed a thinner blanket in my room than the one on my bed and walked around the house. I ended up finding a library that I sat in to watch the sunrise.

After the sunrise I decided to look around at what books they had. I wanted to find some to pass the time before I could go home, yell at Eris for being an idiot and then have him in my arms.

Usually, I’d like romance, but at the moment I couldn’t stand the thought of it. So instead I chose fiction books about wars or some magical schools or something. Anything I could pass the time with. Once I was done I began walking back to my room covered in my blanket.

On my walk I was interrupted by Azriel walking toward me in a hurry, “Did you sleep at all last night?” was the first thing he said. 

“No,” I told him, and he immediately rushed to my side to try to help me carry my books and bring me back to my room.

“No, stop. I’m fine.” I told him as I grabbed the books I was holding from his hands and began walking back to my room, he continued following me.

“Are you sure you're fine, 'cause I really wanted to take you somewhere today so you don't feel weird here,” He continued rambling on.

“Yea I’m fine, sure.” was all I said.

I have to admit, I felt a little bad. Azriel was sweet, he clearly cared. He wouldn’t compare to Eris though. Even if I accepted the mating bond Azriel would never compare.

“Also um,” He started, “There are Night Court dresses in there. I was hoping you’d wear one of those instead of the Autumn Court ones you brought.” 

“Yea sure,” I said snappily.

“Alright great, can you be ready in like thirty minutes?” he asked me.

“Yea sure,” I said.

“Okay perfect, I’ll see you in a bit.” He scurried off as I went into my room. 

I don't know why I didn’t except this. I wanted to jump off a cliff, but at this point, I just had to go along with whatever.

To me, all the dresses they had for me looked dull. All blacks or grays, some blues. I found I didn’t look good in dark blue though.

I settled for a gray dress with a corset-like top and straight gown bottom. It had some sparkly stars on it and was honestly a little itchy.

I brushed my hair some and allowed it to have its natural waves before Azriel came back knocking on my door. 

Through the door, he asked me if I was ready before I responded with a yes.

After I left the room I noticed Rhysand was there, he said he was there just to winnow us. I guess Azriel was worried about what my reaction would be to flying. I was really glad they chose to winnow me.

Once we got there Rhysand left as fast as he came, I turned to see Azriel took me to a garden. 

“Eris mentioned to me you like to walk in gardens sometimes in the morning, I thought it’d be nice to take you to one.”

“Thank you,” I told him, being polite. 

We walked down the garden together, he told me about how Feyre’s sister Elain takes care of it and about the little knowledge of plants he knew. We continued talking, well he talked and I listened and responded.

Once we got closer to the house we were by I noticed long red locks by a window.

I’d stopped listening to what Azriel said as I examined the red hair. It looked so close to Eris’ and just seemed like I knew the person.

The man turned his head more towards the window where I could see his face.

Lucien

The boy I hadn’t seen since he was exiled was standing there as a man. I remembered him as a baby when Eris would sneak away with him to show me his little brother. I remember him as a little boy playing in the trees and I remember how the day before he was exiled he had spent some time in my families gardens with me, he chatted about anything and everything,

I immediately rushed toward the house to see him. Ignoring Azriel's yells of my name I found the door to the house and turned the corner to make eye contact with Lucien.

I saw his eye light up before he went to hug me. This was the first time I’d smiled in a whole day. I almost cried seeing the man who’d always be a boy to me.

There were a few other people in the room who seemed to have no idea what was going on. Azriel included. 

Neither of us cared, we decided to move our small little reunion outside where Azriel followed. We sat by some benches while we chatted, catching each other up on everything. 

The conversion made it to Lucien's exile.

“Eris was hoping you’d be at that party, he wanted to publicly remove your exile and claim you as his brother,” I told Lucien quietly. Ignoring the way Azriel shifted in his seat as I mentioned Eris.

Lucien stayed silent for a second, “Honestly I just want to see my mother again.”

“She misses you a lot, if you just showed up you’d be welcomed with open arms. I promise.” I told him.

He shook his head, “I don't want to go until it's properly abolished.” 

I nodded, “I’ll relay that message when I get home.”

“(Y/N) you haven’t eaten yet today either right?” Azriel asked, leading me to nod.

“Come on, we’re gonna go get breakfast somewhere, okay?”

I nodded to Azriel before I hugged Lucien as a goodbye and stood up, ready to follow him.

I followed him through the house trying to not make eye contact with the other people in there who were very obviously looking at me, especially the blonde, Mor. I wondered if she still hated Eris for something everyone knows wasn’t even his fault.

I successfully got through the house without someone trying to kill me, which seemed like an accomplishment for me.

Azriel moved his hand to my shoulder to push me slightly to stand next to him. I much preferred standing behind him but I followed his direction anyway. We walked through the city he called Velaris. I'd heard of it a couple of times during conversations with Eris but never cared enough to ask more about it.

It was a pretty city, stone brick houses and shops everywhere. I missed the autumn colors the cities back at home had with their trees and leaves.

Eventually we made it to this cute looking cafe, it was made of brick with steel seats and tables everywhere with little star designs on them, there were floating candles all around and a menu with different drinks and food on them, most I’d never heard of.

One of the workers came out of the back with a bigger chair, and sat it down at a table after removing its original chair. I guess Azriel was a regular here as he thanked the worker who gave him two menus and sat in the chair as I sat in front of him. The chair matched the others; it was just bigger and made to fit his wings.

When I read the menu I was really hoping there’d be something I’d recognize and like here, but I’d forgotten how much of a picky eater I was. The only thing that was also at the Autumn Court here was a simple Egg and toast breakfast, but I didn’t like eggs. I hated the texture and how it felt in my mouth. When I was a child I ate one and immediately threw it up. I hate eggs.

My eyes wandered to something that looked basic on the menu. It was a thin circle thing that looked similar to the waffles we had back in the Autumn Court. It came with toast that had avocado on it.

Azriel noticed how long I took and how confused I looked, “Do you not have this kind of stuff in the Autumn Court?” He asked me.

I shook my head, “What the hell is a pancake?” I asked him.

This time he looked confused, “You guys don’t have pancakes?”

He began to explain to me that it was batter made from milk, flour and eggs that was cooked. I thought for a minute, “So it's a thin waffle?” 

“What is a waffle?” 

I decided to order the pancake with the avocado toast thing, which I ended up really liking. The texture on the pancake wasn’t the same as a waffle which kind of bothered me but it didn’t make me want to throw up at least.

We chatted a little bit but it's hard to chat with someone when all you want to do is leave. At least I tried. Afterwards he asked me if I wanted to go clothes shopping, since I only had like three dresses pre-made for me but I didn’t really feel like it. 

“I’ll just wear the clothes I brought with me,” I told Azriel.

Azriel’s face scrunched up, “I don't think that’s a good idea, especially if you go out in public like that.”

“I don’t plan on going out in public that much.”

That made Azriel stop talking for a moment, he paid for our meals and we left to continue walking along the street. 

In my defense, even if he wasn’t my mate I’d still feel weird talking to him just because he was being so awkward. Then I thought about it more, I’d probably be awkward to my mate if they started crying the second the bond kicked in. 

As we walked I realized he was bringing us to this shop with little trinkets, based on the fact Eris told Azriel I liked gardens he probably also told him I liked little objects. Half of the space in our bedroom and drawing room is used for my little items. Something about them just made me very happy.

Azriel brought me into the shop with him where my eyes immediately went to the wall of little figures, boxes and other items. Azriel was going to say something but I’d already walked away to go look at these items.

I’m not sure how long we were there, if I could guess maybe an hour and a half. Azriel just walked behind me and watched me look around. For a minute I thought he was Eris, since this was the exact thing Eris and I did when we’d go to places like this.

I ended up finding a little jewelry box with little trees carved into it with gold flakes. I ended up loving it and picked it up.

Azriels head cocked, “are you getting that?”

I nodded to him and walked to the counter, before I could pay myself I saw the lady at the counter nod to Azriel, he directed me to the door telling me to not worry, he paid it for.

“What time is it?” I asked him.

“Around 2.” Azriel told me.

We’d been out for a while, I didn’t know the exact time we left but I knew it was around 9 or 10 in the morning. 

We started to walk to the house we were originally at, I yawned realizing not sleeping all night was really catching up to me.

“Do you wanna go back to the house?” Azriel asked.

“Yes please, I’m so tired.” 

“Lets go to the house real quick, I can get Rhysand to winnow us.”

“Can Lucien winnow us?” I asked.

“Well,” Azriel started, “I don't think Rhysand would like that.”

“Oh okay.”

I’m gonna be honest I was also just kind of tired of Azriel. Being around him was very boring, I’m sure he’s interesting but he was just kind of weird to be around.

When we’d gotten to the house Rhysand was already waiting to bring us back to the House of Wind. Before he brought us I saw multiple people just staring at me, some gave me dirty looks, while a few looked curious. Mor was one of the ones who gave me the dirty look.

I ended up just looking at the ground before Rhysand winnowed us back, I didn’t realize until I got there that I was holding my breath. 

Azriel ended up walking me to my room when Rhysand left, he tried to come into my room but I stopped him. I didn’t want a man who wasn’t my fiance in my room.

Once I was finally in my room I changed into sleeping clothes and immediately passed out, exhausted from not sleeping properly and being out all day. It was still really early but I didn’t care.

This is what my days for the next week and a half looked like, I’d only sleep when I was exhausted, I’d go for breakfast with Azriel, go to a random shop, read at night and after day two I got to add daily chattings with Lucien who decided to extend his stay in the Night Court due to me. Azriel was always there though. I’d grown more comfortable with Azriel, enough to make jokes with him and have real conversations. I was still pretty guarded but more comfortable.

Now, three days before I’d return to the Autumn Court, the Inner Court of Night decided they wanted to have dinner with me before I went. I agreed, hoping this would stop them from looking at me the way they did.

When I was ready, Azriel brought me to the dining room in the House of Wind, where the court already was. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I sat down, but I really didn’t have a way out of this anymore so I tried to ignore it.

“So (Y/N),” Mor started, “Why exactly are you engaged to Eris?”

“He’s been my friend for over 400 years and my lover for over a hundred,” I said more quietly than I wanted to.

“That long and you still don't see the asshole he is.” The winged male who I learned name was Cassian said. 

“You don't know anything about Eris.” I said.

Before Cassian could continue with whatever he was gonna say, Rhysand spoke up, “Can we stop talking about Eris, it’s gonna ruin my appetite.”

Azriel ended up speaking up, “You know Nesta, (Y/N) likes books a lot too.”

Nesta, the eldest sister, perked up, “What kind?” She asked me.

“I like fantasy and thrillers. Some romance when I’m bored but a lot are boring to me.” I told her.

“I read romance,” She told me, meaning we basically read completely different things. Which makes talking about books a little hard.

I kind of felt bad as Azriel desperately tried to find something that I liked that they also liked. Azriel didn’t know a lot of the things I liked though, most of them were activities I did with Eris and I didn’t feel like having an argument with my mates friends.

Eventually the dinner fell silent except for the coo’s of the Highlord's son, who I had to admit was really cute. 

With the dinner being silent I didn’t expect Rhysands question, “When do you plan on breaking the engagement with Eris and accepting the bond?”

I choked on my food. “Excuse me?” 

“Azriel is your mate, it's inevitable that you’ll accept the bond.” 

“The more you talk the more I’m inclined to not accept the bond.” I told Rhysand.

Azriel gave Rhysand a look to stop talking, but that's when Feyre began talking. “So you would choose a cruel dictator over Azriel?”

My jaw clenched, “Eris isn’t like that, you all know nothing of him.”

“Last I checked he’s the man who nailed a note to a womb.” Mor responded.

“Your father did that. Eris had nothing to do with that, the only reason he didn’t help you was because he knew if he did he’d be tied to you.” I said angrily.

“Just stop playing around (Y/N),” Rhysand said, “Eris is going to be in the past, Azriel is your mate. I understand that it will be weird at first but you will begin to love him. Nesta didn’t like Cassian that much in the beginning and now look at them.”

I slammed my fork down and stood up, “I’m going back to the Autumn Court, goodbye.” I said storming out of the room. I heard Azriel stand up to follow me.

I stormed to my room as fast as I could ignoring Azriel’s pleas behind me. Once I’d gotten to my room I slammed the door and locked it, immediately going to find some paper and ink to send Eris a letter.

I’d avoided sending him one out of anger for making me come here the first week. After I did because I felt sad he didn’t try to send me one first, I continued to not send one out of pride.

At this point in my anger pride did not exist, I needed Eris to come get me now. I refused to be winnowed by Rhysand or anyone else in the Night Court so this was my only option.

I began to hear knocking at my door and callings of my name from Azriel, all of which I ignored. I quickly found a piece of paper and began to messily write on it, a simple message to Eris telling him to get me now.

Before I could finish my door was opened for Azriel, how he did it, I have no idea. I turned to look at him who was walking towards me, he came and snatched the paper out of my hand. 

“You're not going back yet, this wasn’t the deal.” He told me, raising the letter above his head.

I tried to grab it, “I didn’t agree to anything, I’ll do whatever I fucking want.” I said angrily. 

When I realized I couldn’t grab the paper, I tried to hit him. He used his free hand to hold onto my wrists to stop me and dropped his other hand. I attempted to break free, yelling at him to let me go.

He began to move towards the unlit fireplace in my room, dragging me with him. He threw the paper into it and grabbed a match from on top of the fireplace. He lit the fireplace, burning my letter.

I looked at the fire in shock, my skin crawling. After a second I began to try to fight my way out of his grip again. He let me go which caused me to fall back, I hit my head on the corner of the bed as I fell. 

“Shit (Y/N)!” Azriel yelled, in my blurry vision I could see him rushing toward me.

I felt him move his hand to the back of my head and slightly lift me up, “Shit, shit your bleeding.”

My blurry vision turned to my hearing defaulting, before the world went black.

[thedanishcatgirl]

Hey so found this and fought I'd share a writing of the season finale I made back when that was a thing.

Fwip awoke in his bed from a terrible dream. He got up, but as he saw out of the window he froze in terror. No, his eyes must just be deceiving him, after all he had just woken from a truly terrible dream. But as he headed out, he realized it had not just been a dream for everything was still destroyed. He had lost everything, it was all gone. But what had even happened. The last thing he remembered was desperately trying to fix the reactor. Back to reality. There were the cats and parrots, so at least some of the pets made it out before the building exploded. 

“Have you seen the dogs?” he asked as if they could answer him. Please let the dogs be alive. Then he made it to the big crater.

“Oh no.”

There were some of the golems, at least they could help repair things. If that was even possible. And then he realized all the stuff he had on him during the explosion was gone, except for his clothes, scarf boots and goggles. That meant

“Oh no no no. I’ve lost I’ve lost the crown. The cro the crown is gone.”

The entire village was gone, the villagers probably dead. Except one. Somehow the villager of the hot tub had survived.

It was a miracle.

“Oh buddy, stay in your hut tub, you don’t wanna see what’s out there.”

But otherwise that was it. The Grimlands his, home was gone. There was no way they could come back from this. As he walked past the donation box he quickly checked if there was something useful. Yes, there was a cooked chicken. He had some food, at least he could have something to eat. It was so hard to believe. His mansion, the forge, everything was gone. He couldn’t stay here. Thankfully he knew a certain someone who wouldn’t mind letting him stay. As he continued along the path, his thoughts were interrupted by another miracle.

“Huh the dog the dogs the dogs!” 

They were alive and his sword was there too. 

“Oh I have my sword and Koda and Nova. I got you two but I don’t have any steak for you I’m sorry. It’s good to see you both. Let’s go see if we can find Gem.”

She would help them.

As he got closer to her empire, which thankfully wasn’t too far from his, he noticed the downside to her being so close. Namely being the flaming debris on top of one of her towers.

“Oh no, did it get over here? That’s not good, no!”

He quickly continued. At least everything seemed to be intact thankfully. Just a little debris all over the place, but it could be fixed. Then he found her.

“Gem it’s it’s all gone everything it’s it’s” he looked down ashamed and stumbling over his words.

“What’s gone?”

“The the Grimlands the Grimlands it’s gone.” Once again he looked away couldn’t bear keeping eye contact for long. Then the panic came back.

“Jim Jimmy was there with me, Jimmy was there with me oh no I told him to run I told him to run oh no I, I hope he got away I told him to run I didn’t see him.

“Fwip! How did this happen?”

“Jimmy and I tried working together to make him a new Codfather head, and it overloaded the reactor when we put cod in there to work with salmon. And I made it with the puppies and that’s’ that’s it.” 

Gem looked sad.

“Well I’m glad you’re okay… do you need anything?”

“Yeah I I think I need to stay with family for a while. Can I, can I stay in the Crystal Cliffs with you?”

“Of course you can,” she said as she handed him some more food.”

“Food thank you, thank you I, I need yeah thank you Gem,” he said as he started eating.

“But we can’t stay here, we have to go tell the others we need to make sure Jimmy is okay.”

“Okay yeah yeah we should we … what’s on your head?"

“Oh that’s Violet, my baby dragon.”

“Okay yeah things are happening here weird things happening . Let’s go see if we can find everyone else and tell them what happened. Yeah that sounds, that sounds good let’s, let’s go.”

“Yeah let’s go to spawn.”

She was right as always, that was the good and responsible thing to do. His dear sister had always been good at that. It was gonna be okay, she was here, she would help and protect him, just as she always had. So they walked the long way to spawn together.

“Common doggies let’s go, it's just us now we gotta keep moving.”

“We’ll be fine. Everything will be fine, let's just get to spawn and it’ll be fine.”

Just as she said that he noticed the others in the distance.

“Oh oh god there they are.”

He would have to face everyone and own up to his mistake, and they would probably be mad and.

“It’s okay it’s okay they will take it fine.”

She was right she was right, she always was, she would support him.

“I … think it will be okay I.”

“It wasn’t your fault.” 

“Uhm he’s bye bye, he’s gone, he’s done,” they heard Jimmy tell the others

“What?”

“What do you mean?” the others cried in shock and confusion.

“Yeah did you see that big bang, hear about it?”

“Yeah”

“That was him, smithereens he’s blown up, he’s gone he’s done.”

“That was Fwip?” Joey asked just as he had arrived.

“What are we talking about?” Fwip asked.

“Uhhh”

“Are you okay?”

“No I’ve had a rough day, it’s been a, it’s been a hard day” he said and looked down at his soot covered self.

“Fwip?”

“It’s all gone.”

“Excuse me sir” Joey asked while pointing a bow at him.

“Joey let him explain” cried Scot

“You have some explaining to do. My base is completely destroyed, this is an act of war!”

“You’ve seen the crater?”

“It’s not his fault” cried Gem.

“I thought you were gone” said Jimmy

“I did I barely made it out of there. My puppy dogs made it out of there. They dragged me out of the explosion and all I’ve got left is my dogs and this,” he said, showing his sword. 

“That’s it.”

“What happened?”

“What was that noise?”

“Jimmy and I tried teaming up, to help him out, to get his codfather head back, and we mixed cod and salmon in the reactor, and uhm it overloaded, there was too much power.”

“So you’re both to blame for this!”

“No!”

“Nah uh”

“I was just trying to help, I was just trying to … we’re buddies.

“He had the big thingy.”

“He blew up his empire!”

“I’m sure it was an accident!”

“Gem stop being so neutral.”

“My base is big and strong” proclaimed Joel.

“Should we be checking our empires?”

“Your base is big good Joel.”

Typical Joel, assuming that since he and his empire are big and strong nothing will happen. This was ridiculous.

“So nothing happened to any of you guys?”

“I haven’t been back yet.”

“I don’t know.”

“Well you better go look!”

“The prophecy!”

“Yeah I need to go check, I'll be back, good luck.”

“I gotta go find the wolves.”

“This is bad.”

“Good luck everybody.”

“And Jimmy you better watch your back, because I’m coming for you,” Joey threatened.”

“Good luck I hope it’s okay.”

“Joey don’t threaten the cod,” Gem scolded.

“Joey, I thought we been past treats for a while now.”

“Uhm if you ever need a babysitter for that dragon I’m around,” Joey said while looking at Gem and Violet.

“Thank you…”

“I’m sure by boyfriend would love to meet him.”

“Mhhm mhhm.”

“Fwip what have we done?” Jimmy asked him.

“Uh uh Jimmy, Jimmy I think it’s I think it will be uh I think it will be fine right?”

“Uhh well I’m gonna go check my base.”

“Yeah I hope you’re okay, I hope you’re okay.”

Then he and Gem walked together back to the Cliffs.

“Uhh I think they took it well, I think they took it well,” he said now that it was just him and Gem again.

“Yeah they took it well. It went well,”

“Yeah that’s, that’s you know what, that went as best as it could I think they all understand that it wasn’t.”

“For the fact that you just exploded your entire base, I feel like it went fine.”

“Yeah I think they understand that it wasn’t malicious, and that’s the important part.”

“Yeah you’ve never done anything malicious, you just do stupid things all the time

“Yeah that’s not me, I've never done anything like that,” he said, not even noticing the tease at the end of her sentence.”

Fwip was very glad he had his big sister with him. She made the long journey so much easier. He could feel the exhaustion now that the adrenaline was gone.

“Come on we’re almost back.”

“This world is a whole lot bigger when you uh when you can’t fly. Whooh my legs are tired. I think I gotta lay down for a little while.” 

“At least you have legs. Come on.”

“Yeah yeah okay, we made it we made it, we’re back alright okay.”

“What are we gonna do now? Do you think we can stay here?”

“I uhm I don’t know if there is anything left of the reactor to explode, but something tells me we wanna be as far away from here as possible.”

“You don’t know?”

“Gem it all exploded and I walked away. I uhm yeah I just ran, I ran.”

“If we can’t stay, I suppose we can leave the Crystal Cliffs and me and you can get away on one of the big dragons. Violet can’t fly yet.”

“Yeah next time Violet we got you. Okay yeah uh I like that plan, I think we should do that.”

“Okay, um you can’t fly onto the dragon.”

“Nope.”

“I have the perfect spell. I've been working on my magic. You just stay right there, and uh just one second.”

“Okay.”

And then she flew off. It was gonna be fine. Gem had a plan, she makes good plans.

Suddenly he was on one of the dragons.

“Ohh you even got the puppies up here! Oh he’s gonna fall. You gotta sit right there buddy.”

Gem laughed. It felt so good to hear that pearly laugh once again, after all that happened.

“I think both of them should maybe sit.”

“Yeah, that’s yeah all hands and paws and tails inside the dragon please.”

“That’s perfect, we should be able to get away from here. Dragons know perfectly how to fly away from disasters.”

Finally he could just sit back and relax. But that meant that all the sadness he had pushed away finally showed itself. He had blown his empire up. He triggered the explosion that also damaged many of the other Empires. Who knows how much damage and death his mistake had caused. Joey and the other rulers had full right to be angry. He sensed the tears falling from his eyes, but he didn’t have the strength to stop them anymore. Gem noticed and pulled him into a big hug. Not letting go she said “Don’t worry you’re safe now. It’s alright no one's gonna hurt you.”

“But, but you heard how angry Joey was, and with his relationship to Xornoth I .. I wouldn’t put it past him to…”

“But we are far away from him, and all the others. No one knows where we are. And if something happens I will protect you, like I always have.”

“Thank you…”

He could feel himself melting into her hug. Had her embraces always been this warm?

“Hey that’s what you got big sisters for,” he heard her say as he closed his eyes, and finally gave into the exhaustion.

[zeroseuniverse]

Seeing You

Word Count: 4K

Warnings: Exes to lovers but not really, death, poison, ghost Au, I think that's it

Pairing: Lee Know x named reader

Summary: In which, after her ex passes, she’s put on the case to find his killer, with a Little help from a ghost or two

“Could this be any more boring?” Changbin groaned as he threw his weight down on the couch in their old studio, his complaint garnered many noises of agreement from the younger four who had accepted their fate with little hesitance.

“There has to be something we’re missing,” Hyunjin stated as he continued pacing alongside Chan as they both tried passing ideas off to each other.

The group of eight didn’t know what exactly had happened. All they know is that they had woken up and suddenly it was like nobody could see or hear them. They tried visiting their families but that didn’t work, even their old friends couldn’t seem to sense them. 

“What good is being a ghost if I can’t haunt people? I even had a list!” Seungmin pouted, he was far from happy with the situation of course, but what could he do to change it?

“Are we sure we contacted everyone we have deep connections with? I think we need to find someone who is still holding onto us.” Chan suggested, but Hyunjin quickly argued back.

“Everyone is probably still holding onto us, we died like a week ago. Three of our funerals haven’t even happened yet.”

“I don’t know then! There has to be someone,” Chan sighed, falling back onto the couch as well, feeling frustrated.

“Why do you think our funerals haven’t been held yet?” Seungmin wondered, Minho, Jeongin, and Himself have not seen anything about their funerals.

“It was obviously foul play, ” Han stated, making everyone look at him oddly, “Oh come on, I can’t be the only one thinking it?” 

“How did they get all of us at the same time though?” Felix tried to argue, earning a few sounds of agreement.

“Poison.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” Han sighed heavily, hating all of this but he already had a few too many panic attacks.

“Where’s Minho?” Jeongin asked, suddenly making the others turn their heads to the area where the brown-haired man had been previously only to see him gone.

“Oh come on!” He groaned out in frustration as he stumbled into the wrong apartment yet again.

“Ugh, I can still hear his stupid voice.” He heard through the wall, making him perk up, could she actually hear him?

“Look it’s totally normal to still feel him here, you guys were together for eight years. Mourning your ex is understandable.” That’s a voice he didn’t recognize, he poked his head through the wall reaching just enough to peak into a very homey apartment. Everything about the apartment was simply her, the couch that had once been in their shared apartment was nestled in the corner of the living room, the pale orange throw pillows accenting beautifully against the white, and the light-colored wooden furniture was a cute touch as well. His eyes took a moment before they finally landed on what he had been searching for, there she was sitting cross-legged with her elbow bent on the back of the couch to hold her head up, a steaming cup of cinnamon hot chocolate placed in her hand as she spoke to a man who was dressed in a blue button up and slacks, as he had just gotten off of work. 

“He would want you to move on.” No, He wouldn’t. “At your own pace but you need to work past this without giving yourself too much grief for not being there.” The man said, making Minho huff, obviously seeing the heart eyes this man held for her.

“They asked me to go home and look over his case, they suspect foul play.” That’s good! She’d finally be home, that’s all Minho ever longed for.

“Why you? You haven’t been in Seoul in a year?” Stop asking so many questions.

“I was close to the boys, I know more about the people around them than anyone.” She shrugged, a lopsided smile growing on her face as she thought back to her times with the boys. The smile made both men giddy as it was such an adoring look, except only one of them knew what it was directed to.

“Will you be able to handle it? I can ask to come with,” The man offered, making Minho’s eyes narrow into slits. How dare he underestimate her?

“I close a minimum of 75 murder cases a year,  I can most definitely handle this. If you ever underestimate me again, I’ll show you exactly how I took those bastards down firsthand.” She sassed, earning a chuckle from the ghost in the wall making her snap her head in the general direction for a moment not seeing the now ducking ghost who truly wasn’t ready to come to terms with his ex-lover not being able to see him yet.

“Minho what’re you doing?” Seungmin asked, making the older man yelp and stumble back into the other apartment he had accidentally entered.

“Uh…Haunting?”

“Really now? Who do you know in Hawaii that you’re haunting? Wait…” Seungmin gasped, peeking through the wall himself only to make direct eye contact with her, making both of their eyes widen.

“Uh, you know what, I’m rather tired. I think I should rest so I have the energy to pack tomorrow.”She stammered, hurrying her partner out of her apartment anxiously before throwing her weight against the door as she sank to the floor into the fetal position, hoping she’s not finally losing it.

“You can see me?” Seungmin asked as he finally pushed through the wall, making her scramble backward, further away from the unwelcome ghost.

“Oh god, I’m losing it.” She gasped out, watching as three others stumbled through the wall as well. 

“Starshine!” Felix squealed upon seeing one of his favorite people in the world, rushing forward to hug her only to fly through the door behind her, “Ah shit!”

“I need a drink,” She gasped out rushing towards her kitchen to find whatever alcohol she could find only for it to be moved out of her reach at the last minute, she turned to face the culprit only for all words to die in her throat upon meeting the warm eyes of her ex-lover. “Oh god.” 

Her widened eyes filled with tears as she too in her situation, a choked sob escaping her throat as her eyes scattered over the now eight ghosts that have all somehow made their way to her.

It took two hours for her to begin understanding what was happening, well her version of what was happening. She was insanely sleep deprived on top of grieving so it’s only natural to hallucinate, yes that was it. She chuckled at her delirious mind before turning on her heel and heading to her room, ignoring the questions being thrown at her.

“Yah! Get back here!” Changbin yelled, feeling a bit annoyed at her reluctance to believe; However, a part of him understood, if his ex-lover had died and suddenly appeared in front of him he’d probably check himself into a ward.

“They’re not real. They’re not real. They’re not real,” she chanted it like a mantra hoping to believe it at some point.

“Look, we're really here, and we need your help! We don’t know how we died. Or why we’re still here lingering.” Chan tried to reason, making her spin on her heel to face the leader who was internally panicking at driving his old friend into a panic.

“Why me?”

“You’re the only one that can see us, we’ve tried everyone else we knew in our living period,” Felix explained, making her even more panicked.

“I’m the only one? Great, so I am crazy!”

“Gah listen Treasure, you’re not crazy. I’ll prove it, ask me anything.” Minho exclaimed, stepping in between her and the group.

“That wouldn’t work logically, if she thinks we’re a figment of her imagination she  would be able to fill in any information she knows that you know,” Hyunjin explained making her attention snap over to the man that was definitely her best friend, she of course had seen him before but hearing his voice again made her feel swarmed with even more emotions.

“Okay, I’ll tell her something that she didn’t know that I knew.” Minho offered, looking back at the other members for confirmation only to earn shrugs since none of them were quite sure how to deal with this situation themselves.

“Uh…Okay, the night we broke up. I know you were going to propose to me, and I know you got frustrated because I kept avoiding that step and that’s why we broke up and why you even accepted the job here.” He explained feeling a bit ashamed, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to commit to her, it was the opposite he felt as if they were already fully committed and that signing a paper was meaningless. She hadn’t felt the same though, she had felt the need to prove to her family that the relationship was going somewhere rather than just staying in the same place forever.

“How did you find that out?” She gasped, she hadn’t mentioned it to anyone except…

“Your mom told me where to find you, I came. You were leaning against your car talking to your brother. I heard everything. I was going to approach you after he left but you seemed so sad so I just left before I could make anything worse.”

“We’ll let you process all of this… but we really would appreciate your help in solving what happened to us.” Chan smiled comfortingly at the woman before they all poofed away, allowing the girl to sink back to the floor as a tidal wave of emotions flew over her.

Being aware of the ghosts this time made it difficult for her to communicate with her partner who was dropping her off at the airport. Minho, Hyunjin, and Seungmin had all poofed over to join her on her trip only to see the tanned male trying to find any way to touch the woman possible.

Between all three of them dropping snide comments and seeing their glaring eyes, she was fighting her giggles that were beginning to bubble up in her chest. Hyunjin was giving his famous judging stare that made her feel like they were back in the old days where he’d give her and Minho that look.

Seungmin just couldn’t believe the audacity of this man, I mean the woman is still grieving and he’s trying to make a move? Has he no shame?

Minho was simply trying to kill the man, he was not sitting still in the slightest. As soon as the living male made an appearance he had made his way to strangle him, only to fly right through him, the only effect his attack had was giving the male chills. Eventually he settled for mocking him over his shoulder.

“Are you sure you have to go?” The living male whined making the three ghosts simultaneously roll their eyes.

“Yes, One they’re my friends and Two their families specifically asked for me to consult.”

“You really don’t owe them anything, when was the last time you talked to any of them?” This man was really beginning to piss all of them off.

“It’s not about owing them anything.”

“Answer the question.”

“I’ve talked to Felix, Seungmin, Hyunjin and Jeongin since the break up. Seungmin used to call me whenever he was alone in the dorm and we’d have sleepovers via facetime. Hyunjin called me twice a week and updated me on everything happening, so I could make sure Minho was taking care of himself like he promised he would the night we broke up. Felix called me while he was baking and he’d send me some baked goods sometimes, Jeongin called me once a week whenever he’d get overwhelmed. Now listen, It’s none of your business why I’m doing this or even what I’m doing, the only reason you got notified of me leaving was courtesy. I don’t know what power you think you have over me to keep me here, but you don’t have any. I barely know you,” the words cut through the air like a knife, Minho looking at his friends dumbfounded since he wasn’t aware of the communication. 

She turned away from her work partner and made her way through security and headed toward her gate. She plugged her headphones into her phone and acted like she was taking a call, as she spoke to the three ghosts following her.

“You guys are so protective even when you’re not here.” She alluded, not trying to give away that she was speaking to dead people.

“It would be wrong to see you with anyone other than Minho.” Seungmin defended, earning nods of agreement from the other two.

“Yea well in case you hadn’t noticed that’s a little out of reach at the moment. Eventually, I’m gonna have to move on with my life.” She blurted not realizing how deep it cut all of them, she was right. While they were stuck watching her move on and live her life they would never experience the feeling of their own beating hearts ever again.

Meeting with the detectives on the case was just as irritating as she had expected, none of them offering much information since to them she was just a foreigner. So after snatching the case files from the arrogant detective who was basically taunting her on whether she’d even understand their language as fluently as she could speak it, telling her he’d help her if she could repay him, she stormed into the office she’d been temporarily assigned.

She opened a file, immediately being met with the crime scene photos. These were centered around Han, who had basically been the permanent third wheel when she was dating Minho. She adored the boy like her little brother, so seeing these pictures caused bile to rise to her throat. He looked like he was simply sleeping, having worked too hard and slumped sideways on the couch unintentionally as he had done so many times before. She swiped the photos away from her view, flipping them for now as she began to review the written notes of the file.

“Don’t you need to see those to know what happened?” An accented voice broke through the silence of the room, but the woman couldn’t even find it in her to jump. She glared down in confusion at the details in front of her, making everything get jumbled. Of course, she suspected foul play but this was definitely an odd find. “What’s with that face?”

“Tetrodotoxin,” was the only response offered, causing Chan to come closer and peer over her shoulder.

“We don’t eat pufferfish, and we haven’t been swimming for any octopus to get us.” He commented, earning a simple hum in return. The only reason he knew what the toxin was, was because sh had rambled about all of the toxins that could kill someone while studying. She always spewed the facts that she needed to recall it was her process.

“While that may be true, someone could have put the toxin in your food. Who handled your food for that day?” She asked, making the Australian think.

“Uh Manager-nim brought us our food, we didn’t see it beforehand.”

Before the woman could think too much about it a knock sounded at the door, “hello?” a timid voice spoke, making the woman at the desk run to the door. She swung the door open and grasped the couple in front of her in her arms as if their lives depended on it.

Chan smiled sadly at the sight, She and Minho’s parents were very close before the split; they saw her as their daughter already and were absolutely devastated when the split happened. He watched as the young adult pulled away from the elders, leading them to the seats across from her to begin asking questions, before deciding to poof away to provide privacy.

“How was it Hyung?” Jeongin wondered as he heard the familiar woosh he had become accustomed to these past few days. 

“She couldn’t look at the crime photos.”

“How is she going to get any clues then?” Changbin asked frustratedly, earning icy glares from Hyunjin, Minho, and Seungmin.

“Shut it, this is a lot for her to handle, have some sympathy.” Seungmin snapped, making Changbin feel a little shameful but he wasn’t at fault he was just frustrated.

“She found out it was poison, the kind in pufferfish. That’s more than the police were giving our families.” Chan sighed, sitting down to think back on the day it happened further.

“So someone poisoned our food,” Han concluded as he internally cheered over being right.

 “Thank you for allowing me in Mr. Park.” She bowed accordingly to the eccentric man who smiled sympathetically at the familiar woman.

“It’s no problem at all, I had my assistant pull up the security footage for you. Is there anything else you may need?” The man asked, trying to be helpful with the situation, South Korean authorities had already come and seen the footage, so he had no idea why they sent an American detective in to review the tapes as well.

“I would like you to stand by so if I find something, you can call in whoever I need to speak to.” She stated formally before sitting down at his desk to look through the tapes.

“We ate around 3:30 that day,” Seungmin whispered as he appeared behind her, she rolled her eyes at the very annoying habit these men were forming. She pulled the tape just before that and zoomed into the area where the food would be prepared.

She watched the tapes for an hour til she noticed something, the sauce. The chef who prepared the food only used the sauce for their food before throwing it out, she watched frame by frame trying to make out who the chef was but couldn’t catch a clear angle. So instead she focused on reflective surfaces, which thankfully did not take her long to find the perfect one. “Got it!” She exclaimed, zooming into the pot and digitally enhancing the pixels to clear up the features.

“Mr. Park!” She called, watching as the man stumbled back into the office, he had only left about 30 minutes ago to make a few phone calls. “Do you recognize her?” She wondered, turning the screen for him to have a look at the staff in question.

“Uh, I believe that is their choreographer Ms. Oh. I have no clue why she’s in the kitchen though.” He stammered a bit, making Seungmin gasp. 

Their choreographer? The one Hyunjin said was finding a way to be unprofessional with them.

“The boys told me about her, they said they filed a complaint to get her removed because she kept being inappropriate with them. Peaking in while they changed, touching them unnecessarily. Why is she still in the building?” 

“She got demoted, but since no proof was actually given we couldn’t do much on the situation legally.”

“I have proof of her slipping something into their food, their food that caused them to die. Has that trash been taken out?”

“It gets taken out every night, but the garbage truck hasn’t run, whatever you’re looking for will more than likely still be in the dumpster.”

And just like that a team was deployed, dumpster diving and grabbing all of the bottles similar to the one shown in the video. Any leftover liquids are quickly being tested.

“Woah,” Changbin gasped as the boys all poofed into the alleyway taking in the hazmat suits.

“What are they looking for exactly?” Minho wondered, watching his ex-lover with warm eyes as she commanded people left and right.

“The canister, Oh might’ve used to carry the poison,” Seungmin explained, peering over a nerdy-looking boy's shoulder as he tested another sample.

“Wait, Ms. Oh?” Han asked in shock, not having expected that much of a jump, she had only been working on this case for a few days and already got further ahead than South Korean authorities.

“That’s the current suspect.” Seungmin nodded, moving to peek over at another person’s data.

“Wow, that…isn’t as shocking as I thought it would be.” Jeongin hummed, watching in fascination as the woman he saw as an older sister fought to bring their deaths justice.

“She looks so beautiful doing this.” Minho grinned taking in the burgundy button-up she wore and black slacks with some subtle black heels.

“Ew gross, you’re dead.” Felix jokes, teasing his friend a bit.

“Yea he’s dead and has more of a chance with her than any living being at the moment.” Seungmin chuckled, knowing good and well that the woman had never actually tried to move on from Minho.

It did not take long for the word to spread about who the suspect was, everyone was on high alert looking for the woman. How they hadn’t noticed the woman dressed in all black sneaking into a populated hotel in the middle of Seoul, nobody would ever know.

How nobody heard the fight through the floors or walls, nobody would ever know.

How nobody could hear the screams of the ghosts that should’ve definitely broken the sound barrier, nobody would ever know.

The eight boys watched in terror as their best friend fought bravely against the woman who had killed them just two weeks prior. She was definitely kicking the woman’s butt and she did not like that one bit, so while she was trying to grab her hands, straddling the frantic woman’s legs and trying to restrain her, the woman lunged forward with the last of her might and punctured the detective’s thigh with a pen, a pen that happened to be full of the same toxin used to take out her friends.

“Shit”

“Fuck”

“No” 

The panicked sounds of the ghosts went fuzzy as she focused in on the adrenaline, using it to her advantage to overpower the crazed woman below her, slamming her head down to stun her, and handcuffing her wrists as quickly as possible, She used her second pair of cuffs and hooked the woman to a nearby radiator before huffing and lying on the ground. She pulled her phone out and called the police, informing them of the situation, before settling her phone down and giving up the fight, deciding to rest until her last breath.

“Why’d you do it?” She mumbled quietly as she closed her eyes and nuzzled into the carpet a bit.

“They got me in trouble.”

“You got yourself in trouble, they were not created to protect anybody’s fragile feelings. They barely knew you and you tried being a pervert.” she argued, making the woman huff.

“I wanted a story to tell, an interesting one. Not just a staff and idol dynamic. I wanted the glory.”

“You could’ve started with just being their friend.” Her voice came out softer as her brain grew fuzzier and fuzzier by the moment.

She knew the woman was talking to her due to the small thrums that echoed through her head; however, no words could be made out as the world faded further and further to black.

“hey…”

“hey…”

“heyy…”

Voices echoed through her ears making her eyes shoot open, she came face to face with a teary-eyed Minho. 

“This wasn’t supposed to happen.”He cried as he wrapped her into his embrace which took her aback for a moment, how could he touch her?”

“You’re touching me.” She started in her haze, earning a few more sniffles before he pulled away and allowed Felix, Hyunjin, Jeongin and Seungmin to crowd her as well.

“I’m so sorry Starshine.” Felix whimpered as he nuzzled his head into her shoulder, allowing her to come to finally process the situation.

“I died? You all watched me die?” She teared up, not for any sense of betrayal but because she was hurt for them. They had to see what she feared most, her death.

“You fought so hard, treasure.” Minho cooed, as he comforted the crying Chan.

“I’m so sorry you guys had to see that.”

“No, no, no. No sorries coming from you. We’re all together now, let’s just be happy for a moment please.” Jeongin pleaded, allowing himself to fall into the woman’s embrace, which quickly turned into a cuddle pile as each man piled on top of another.

[bb-editing]

ROXANA (Chapter 71)

*E/N: Oh my god... they're finally reunited.

–––

It was a harsh climate, with severe, freezing winds and constant blizzard attacks. The night that seemed eternal had passed, and the first of morning light shone over the desolate and charred land.

A carriage wheel stumbled over a stone, and Roxana’s body jolted up, waking her up in the process. She rose from a deep slumber, raising heavy eyelids.

At first, the dimness of the carriage interior made her think it was still night, but when she blinked her eyes wider, she noticed a sliver of light leaking through a crack in a curtain in front of her.

The carriage shook again, and rays of light came crashing through the window. This isn’t my room. This is a carriage. This thought startled her slightly.

“You’ve woken up.” A low voice echoed over her head; Roxana inhaled sharply and jumped upright. At the same time, however, the carriage rocked again and she lost her balance, falling forward.

An arm wrapped in front of her waist, pulling her closer and back onto the seat.

“Be careful.”

Roxana turned toward the stranger; red irises met golden- “Cassis,” she whispered unconsciously. She was unable to grasp the situation.

She moved her stiff neck, searching for anything in her environment to jog her memory and recall something- anything- about last night’s events, but she only felt a headache building up.

“It may be better to lie down and rest longer,” Cassis murmured gently. Was it his soft voice or his partially shadowed face that made the hairs on the back of her neck stand so tall?

She felt as if the person beside her wasn’t the true Cassis. She attempted to put some distance between their bodies by pushing away from him. His grip slackened in response, and her head felt more clear. It seemed like she had been lying on his lap until recently.

“What happened?”

Why was her voice so tight and dense? Perhaps it was because she’d just woken up, but her throat was tingling as if she had just spoken for the first time in a few days.

“Why am I here? Why am I with you right now…?” She was half asking him, and half asking herself.

Suddenly, she remembered her parting words to Jeremy, and her head became sore. Despite the partial darkness of the carriage, my eyes had accustomed to it and was therefore able to search Cassis’ face for a response.

“Just focus on resting for now,” he said. “You don’t have to think about anything else.”

His next words made me doubt my ears. “It’s taken you three days to regain consciousness- barely- so it’ll probably take much longer to fully recover your energy.”

* * *

The carriage had stopped moving a while ago, and now Roxana was alone in the compartment.

I’ve been unconscious for three days?

Roxana wondered if she had overworked herself. She had given herself many things to worry about before leaving Agriche, after all, though her mind was so foggy that she couldn’t bring herself to remember all of them.

She moved over slightly to the right, pulling open the curtains to look outside. The sunlight pierced her eyes once again; she flinched, narrowing them.

Once her vision had adjusted, she spotted light grey shadow- no, a falcon- landing on Cassis’ arm.

It seemed three years was longer than she’d expected- it was enough time for a boy to mature into a man, and for a person, once familiar, to become unfamiliar.

Cassis was now much taller, with much wider shoulders and firmer arms. Not to mention his face, which was now masked with a cold energy. He had now become more like an adult, more like his father Richard Pedelian. Perhaps it was his aura, rather than his appearance.

A man approached Cassis’ side; he sported brown hair and an eye patch. It appeared to be the same man Roxana had purposefully misguided at the Agriche border three years ago. And yet, you’re still alive.

Cassis appeared to repeat the information tied to the falcon’s leg to his new companion.

At this sight, Roxana immediately lowered her hand from the curtain and swung open the carriage door, braving the stark difference between warm carriage interior and harsh exterior winter.

Outside, there were more people outside than she’d expected. Some were repairing weapons, tending to horses, or practicing sword strokes. Others were on lookout.

Most stopped what they were doing at my entrance, and the surroundings quickly became quiet. The instant attention was slightly burdensome, but Roxana didn’t mind too much. She was more concerned with the fact that she’d just walked into the heart of a Pedelian camp.