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chaotic---calm · 2 years

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Hi @chaotic---calm 👋🏻 I am enjoying doing these Q&A things with others! So, I thought it would be fun to ask some friendship questions to you, as you seem like a very lovely person that makes me want to get to know you better!

1. What is your favorite season and why?

2. What is your favorite genre of music and why? (If you have one, what is your current favorite song/artist?)

3. When did you think to yourself, "yes, Lan XiChen and Jiang Cheng can be the perfect ship"? (Don't worry, I am also a XiCheng/ChengXi shipper but I am just curious to know since you write a lot of XiCheng fics, which are really good btw!) 😌

4. What are your other favorite ships and why?

Thank you for taking the time to read this!

I hope we can become better friends on this platform! 😊

Okay well first of all, please allow me a moment of excitement for receiving my first Ask ever!

(ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Hello, @coolalicious, and thank you so very much for reaching out to me with an Ask! And for thinking I seem like a lovely person! *blushes* I certainly do my best, lol.

And now for your questions:

1. My favorite season is Autumn. I like when things start cooling down and the leaves start changing colors. I love the smokey smells associated with it once people start burning leaves and using their firepits. I love that they days start getting shorter so there's more darkness and nighttime, and I love the change in the air for a little cooler temperatures where it's still comfortable outside in a hoodie but not outright cold and uncomfortable yet. I love being able to have my windows open to allow fresh air into my home, and I love the rainy days we tend to get with it as well, and the gray skies as things start becoming overcast. (Special shoutout to summer, though, which I hated as a kid for how easily overheated I would get, because now as each year I get older, I swear I get a little colder. There's something to be said for summer warmth, up to a point at least, lol.)

2. (Brace yourself, this is a long response, lmao.) Oof. This one is a little harder to answer because I listen to a somewhat wide berth of music, and my tastes have evolved quite a bit across the years. Also, what I favor in style (for lack of a better description) bleeds across various genres. Overall, my preference for music is instrumental music; for most of my life, I would specify that down to instrumental rock. Now I would expand that out to instrumental tracks in other genres like techno, EDM, soundtrack scores, and other stuff that I don't really know how to describe, lol. If it's highly melodic and there's little to no singing over it, chances are I might enjoy it. Which is not to say that I don't like lyrical music, because I have several groups in that category that I like; it's just that I favor music alone. I like instrumental music because I find that there's a lot more emotion carried within it, and it can tell a different story for whomever is listening to it, can hit whatever emotional beats they need it to for them. For example, I struggle with generalized anxiety disorder and have for most of my life, and one of the biggest methods I had for coping with it in middle school, high school, and college was shutting myself away in my room and just listening to music with no other distraction. I feel like it largely healed my soul when I was hurting, and I needed that. Consequently, it does make it harder for me to revisit some of those songs now, as I have grown to associate them with not feeling well, but I still cherish them. Back when I was in college, you couldn't find me walking around campus without headphones in, whereas now, I probably don't listen to music quite as much as I used to because I've got a lot more going on all the time. But, for some examples of my favorites:

Instrumental rock: My absolute favorite artist in this genre hands-down is Joe Satriani. His music is next level and just completely beautiful. It had a tremendous influence on my life, between carrying me through some of the harder anxiety/stress times and also influencing college projects (including two papers talking about his music and talent, an end-of-course project where I studied emotion and built a whole website for each emotion and wrote a poem for each and selected one of his songs to complement each emotion, and even a poem for one of my creative writing classes where I used his song titles to tell the poetic story). I have every album he's ever released, most of his live DVDs, and have even been lucky enough to see him in concert a couple of times. I highly recommend checking out some of his music. (Other honorable mentions in this category are Nili Brosh, Steve Vai, John Petrucci, Paul Gilbert, Rob Balducci, and Eric Johnson.)

Lyrical music: I tend to like harder, heavier music for the most part. I really like both Seether and Disturbed, so I have several of their albums. King's X is also a good group that I loved a lot as a child in particular, but still enjoy now. I also like some gothic rock, particularly Within Temptation. Beyond that, I'm the kind of person who has a tendency to hear songs that I like here are there and enjoy but don't go on to consider myself a fan of that artist, as overall I don't care for their music, stuff like "Gasoline" by Halsey, "Bones" by MsMr, "No Light" by Florence + The Machine, "Glitter & Gold" by Barnes Country, etc.

Soundtracks So. Many. In. This. Category. It's a combination of genuinely liking the music but also having a gigantic amount of emotional attachment to many of the stories, as well as the fact that these soundtracks are most commonly instrumental, which as I said, I prefer. I love the soundtracks for The Untamed and for Word of Honor, two of my favorite C-Dramas. I also love the soundtracks for Naruto and Dragon Ball Z. Many of the Final Fantasy games have excellent soundtracks, like FFXV, FFIV, and FFIX. The anime Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle has an exceptional soundtrack (even though I loathe that particular anime because it's so incredibly inferior to the manga, imo), and the anime Noragami also has a good soundtrack.

3. Thanks so much for praising my fics! The perfectionist and people-pleaser within me live for compliments, lol. So, I was actually a little stymied by this this ship when I first started getting into fanfiction for The Untamed. Jiang Cheng was my favorite character by the end of my first time watching the show (I identified with some aspects of his character, and also just wanted to hug him all the time, lol), but while I had liked Xichen, my first time through hadn't ended with me really glomping onto him. So seeing them paired up was like ????? But a friend of mine liked both characters and told me about some of the fics she was reading, so I gave them a try, and almost immediately, I was like "Holy shit this makes so much sense, tho." :p I think their personalities balance out very well with one another. Jiang Cheng is hot-headed and angry and bitter and sharp edges and desperate for love and affection and attention. Xichen is soft-spoken yet firm, calm but not without his own strong feelings, gentle and soft, caring and attentive. I think each can bring out the best traits of the other: Xichen can smooth out some of Jiang Cheng's sharp edges and help him be more level-headed, and Jiang Cheng can help push Xichen past his strict composure and tendency to stay firmly in the middle ground to avoid ruffling feathers. And I think that's just beautiful. I love that it's so easy too, in my experience anyway, to give them both a lot of versatility in the "role," for lack of a better word, that they play in all aspects of the relationship. Like in my "You Are My Fate" series, particularly at the beginning, Jiang Cheng is the stronger and more leading force of the relationship, whereas in my fic "Nothing Else Matters," Xichen takes that role instead.

I'm not sure what the very first XiCheng fic I ever read was, but I do know with certainty that one of the series that hooked me straight away and really got me invested in the characters as a pairing was the "I Have Left the Hearth I Know" series by TrueColours over on AO3, which is one of the best written stories in general and characterizations of both Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen that I've ever read. The author FireAwayy also writes the both of them very well, though unfortunately they have deleted some of their best stories for personal reasons, though there are still good ones left that are worth checking out, like "Furry Porn Costs Extra."

4. I kept this to The Untamed, as I assumed that's what you meant, but I could certainly draw this out into other fandoms, lol. But this reply is already long enough as is, haha!

Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian Well, I of course love WangXian because I feel like you can't make it through The Untamed without loving those two together, lol. I don't read as much of them, probably because I feel like they were covered pretty well in the main story, but there is a lot of good stuff out there for them, like the "To Dwell Inside a Body" series by typefortydeductions. There's something very endearing about opposites attracting, and the loud and bouncy Wei Ying both invigorating and yet also being calmed by the slow and steady Lan Zhan is very sweet and cute.

Nie Mingjue/Jiang Cheng I also like a little Jiang Cheng/Nie Mingjue action on occasion; the author hmc73 on AO3 has written some amazing ones, especially "Lay Your Hands On Me." I like this dynamic as well because I think Mingjue gives off the older, more mature and experienced vibes, which I think Jiang Cheng can really benefit from, but he's also the big burly protector type usually (while also secretly a teddy bear), and while Jiang Cheng canonically is known for his own attitude and fearsome reputation, I think it's not untrue to find his character probably also tired and hurt, both from a childhood of abusive treatment from his parents and also an adulthood of having to fight hard to protect his sect and keep them relevant, so I think it makes sense that someone like Mingjue would be good for him, because who doesn't like to feel protected sometimes, you know?

Lan Xichen/Lan Wangji Listen, I know incest pairings can be a little weird, but hear me out. I think some really interesting character dynamics can be played with when looking at characters raised so similarly, so closely together, etc., especially if you were to approach it in a "Flowers in the Attic" kind of vibe. I also love platonic stories of the two of them as brothers, as I just kind of dig their whole relationship in general, how they come across very diehard for one another, at least so far as they can be in the face other conflicting issues, like love for someone else or duty, etc.

Jiang Cheng/Wei Ying There is so much baggage between these two boys. So much history, so many feelings. Of course there could be a lot to work with here for them as material for relationships. What if WWX didn't leave, what if JC had followed him, modern-day settings where they could be together, settings where they're star-crossed lovers fated for nothing but angst and heartbreak.

Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian/Lan Xichen I've read some really good stories pairing these three together, sometimes in a sex pollen kind of way, but also in a "save Xichen from his seclusion" kind of way. I just like the idea of the tenderness needed to take someone who is at their absolute lowest and show them kindness and love and build them back up while kindling something new.

Lan Wangji/Wei Wuxian/Jiang Cheng My fic "Communicate: Learn to Use Your Words So We Can" spells out exactly what I think works about these three together.

Various Configurations with the Juniors I think a lot makes sense for the juniors. Sizhui and Jin Ling make sense together and a mini WangXian, the soft and sweet with the loud and brash. Sizhui and Jingyi make sense together as the soft and serious one with the loud and goofy one. Zizhen and Jin Ling makes sense because Zizhen just seems like a sweetheart who could be nice to even the snottiest little brat (forever solidified in my head when in the show Zizhen sits down for dinner with Jin Ling after everyone else avoids him when he has his little tantrum in the inn when he's yelling at Sizhui).

Thank you again for taking the time to ask me some questions and for taking even longer to read my answers, lol, and if your feelings after seeing all this are "Dear god, why did I open this can of worms," then I apologize profusely for getting carried away with these long-ass responses. ^^;

I hope we can become better friends on this platform! 😊

Feel free to reach out to me any time; I'd love to be friends too. ^_^

#ask #my ask #my first ask!#omg!#^_^

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itsivyberry · 3 years

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no longer his

Mako x f!nonbender!reader

Part 2 of number 1 supporter

request: could you please do a part two of number 1 supporter please. like what happens with Korra added to the picture? 🥺👉👈 (i absolutely loved it btw! great job!!! ❤️��️❤️) [ @xxspqcebunsxx ]

a/n: thank you so much!!! I’m so glad you wanted another part, I’m so sorry it took so long! enjoy <3

warnings: heartbreak, Korra being a home wrecker and not my favorite person 😬 Mako also being a bitch, Bolin being the best ever. Some major descriptions of physical pain due to strong emotions ig

summary: Korra coming to Republic City not only ruffled many citizens, but also jeopardized Mako and Y/N’s relationship.

word count: 1276

song recs: it’s not the same anymore - rex orange county, another love - tom odell

gif credit: @bolin-hits-rockbottom

Korra coming to Republic City wasn’t all that bad, really. Bolin had already become fast friends with her before he knew her title.

Y/N and Mako were doing just fine, for the most part. Y/N continued to watch the pro-bending matches and practices. The only difference was that Korra began to watch with her, mesmerized by the swift movements of the brothers.

Korra hit it off well with Y/N. Neither of them had any issues, but Y/N made it obvious which one of the brothers was taken. Bolin was very forward with the avatar, making advances to get closer with her. Y/N was rooting him on, while Mako wasn’t the biggest fan of her. Y/N couldn’t quite pinpoint why Mako was such a jerk to her, especially since Korra was so nice to all of them and thanked them profusely for being her first friends in the city. His mood had decreased significantly since she first showed up before one of his matches, and it was taking a toll on Y/N’s attitudes as well.

~.•*✰

When Bolin began to show Korra how to bend during a match, Y/N could notice that she was almost trying to impress Mako with her bending skills. Y/N began to grow extremely insecure, her non-bending suddenly becoming something she was ashamed of. There was never any issues with her not being able to bend, especially when hanging out with Mako and Bolin, but now Korra was suddenly making her very self conscious about herself.

These feelings started piling up. Y/N felt sick whenever she went to pro-bending matches, worried that Mako would suddenly decide to take an interest in her instead of his beloved girlfriend.

It wasn’t long ago when Y/N thought Mako was going to propose, and now some random girl from the Southern Water Tribe showed up, introduced herself as the Avatar, and put a wall between the lovers.

Korra was also leading on Bolin, which made Y/N’s dislike for her grow tremendously. She had been hanging out with him, making advances with him, and accepting every date he threw in her direction, yet still disregarded his attraction to her and used him to get closer to Mako.

Y/N saw right through this, and would often confide in her old friend, Lu, from school that lived in Republic City.

“Maybe the Avatar just wants to be close with an earth bender and a fire bender.” Lu had tried to tell Y/N.

“No, I’m telling you. Bolin really likes her but she’s after Mako. I don’t know why she isn’t understanding that I’ve been with him for a very long time and that he won’t leave me for her.” But oh, how Y/N was so incredibly wrong in that moment.

Not only did Korra manage to break Bolin’s heart, but she soon enough ripped Mako and Y/N’s relationship to pieces when Bolin was on his way to get her flowers.

~•.*✰

“She’ll love these, Bo! They are gorgeous. Don’t you think so, Pabu?” Y/N gushed, picking a flower from the bouquet and lifting it up to the fire ferret who was sitting on her shoulder to smell. Pabu took a big whiff, squeaking and nodding in approval.

“Thanks, Y/N. And thank you, Pabu. Let’s go give these to her! I’m so nervous, but so excited!” Bolin exclaimed, practically vibrating with anxiousness about the girl he really and truly fell for.

As they walked throughout the city to the bending arena, they spoke on and on about anything and everything. Y/N had always gotten along with Bolin famously, which helped boost her and Mako’s relationship.

They reached the arena, and curled around the back near the large patio that overlooks the water and Air Temple Island. The sun had set almost half an hour ago, leaving a gorgeous array of oranges, yellows, and reds in the sky that reflected off the calm water’s surface. City lights were twinkling throughout the sky, and stars began to appear faintly.

“It’s a perfect night to do this. Wish me luck, Y/N/N!” Bolin turned, controlling his breathing and still shaking with anticipation.

Y/N passed Pabu onto his shoulders and adjusted the bouquet. “Good luck, you’ll do amazing. Just tell her how you feel and give her the bouquet!”

“Oh, please walk a bit further with me! You can hide behind one of the pillars, I’m just too nervous!” Bolin gasped out, out of breath from the nerves. Y/N begrudgingly agreed, eager to get upstairs and visit Mako.

She walked slowly along the edge of the railing, keeping an eye on Bolin as he walked.

But, something had stopped him in his tracks. His face grew immensely disappointed, angry, sad, and a whole jumble of emotions Y/N couldn’t name. Tears welled up in his eyes, the dim light on the walls making his eyes glisten. Bolin glanced over at her, his bottom lip trembling.

She hesitantly peeking out from behind the pillar, and was frozen just as much as he was.

There, right in front of the beautiful scenery, was Korra, macking her very own dearest Mako. A small puff of air escaped her lungs as she took a larger step towards the scene, dropped her arms & shoulders in defeat.

The very thing Y/N didn’t think would happen had came true. Her boyfriend, her love, her future, had cheated on her, with the very girl he had absolutely no previous interest of even being friends with.

Bolin blinked, and tears dropped to the marble ground. Y/N was crying now too, as she suddenly watched her future crash and burn. The two ahead of them broke apart, a smile growing on both of their faces.

That was, until Korra had looked behind Mako and saw the two people she was avoiding. Bolin, crying and holding a now messy bouquet that had been ruined by the wind, and Y/N, who was crying watching Korra help Mako cheat on her.

Korra never had any issues with Y/N. She’d always looked up to the girl, who had always gave so much love wherever she went and was never discouraged from people who made fun of her lack of bending abilities. But now, she had ruined any chance of being friends with her after she ruined the beautiful relationship of Mako and Y/N.

Mako was confused, and turned around to meet the eyes of his devastated brother and heartbroken girlfriend.

“Oh, no, no, no-!” Mako said, panic and realization setting in as he reached for his girlfriend. “This isn’t what it looks like!”

He was now running towards her, the tears streaming down her face more visible as he got closer. He stopped in front of her, putting his hands on her shoulders.

“I saw everything. This,” Y/N motioned between the two of them, “is over. Don’t ever speak to me again.” She turned and left, crossing her arms over her stomach to try to alleviate some of the pain that was reverberating through her chest.

“Bolin, please!” Mako’s voice cracked, turning to his brother to reason. Bolin angrily threw the bouquet at his feet, more tears falling on the slick ground.

“How could you?” Bolin asked quietly, furrowing his brows at Mako. He quickly turned and followed Y/N, catching up with her to comfort her.

Mako watched, defeated and absolutely broken, as his brother and girlfr- ex girlfriend walked away from him in tears and sorrow.

There was no recovering from this, and he soon realized he lost the love of his life and his very best friend, along with his last remaining family member that he loved so dearly.

And it was all because of the damned Avatar.

~•.*✰

a/n: okay so I really don’t like Korra like at all, I’m sorry if you do but I really don’t like her 😃 she’s my least favorite character in the atla universe so it was only fit that I wrote a literal hate fanfic about her. anyways Mako is a bitch in this but I love Bolin so I hope you enjoyed 🙄 also thank you for requesting, it meant a lot that you wanted more about a small silly little blurb I wrote from a separate request!! love you all <33

#legend of korra mako #legend of korra bolin #the legend of korra #legend of korra #avatar korra #korra x reader #mako x you #mako #mako x reader #lok mako #lok bolin #mako fanfic #mako smut #mako x korra #bolin x y/n #bolin

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potahun · 2 years

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flkasjdf the way i didn't even know there was a (even if small) fandom for tsme on tumblr and here i've been, crying to my poor non-pokemon fans about literally the same four episodes for the past two years (which was when i first got back into xyz, i grew up on it, phased out of it, and then came back haha)

but anyways the content you've put out this month is incredible?? the fact that there ARE other people who love these episodes when most of my friends don't even know they exist 😭 you're actually the best omg you're super super talented btw i love your art and your writing which is. the next point ig?

because even though i'm not the hugest alain/steven fan (tho you're starting to sell me on it haha) i actually read for as many revolutions back when it was updating/incomplete? i subscribed because i really enjoyed it nonetheless (and your worldbuilding and lore was so SO cool) and because i'm starved for alain content haha but i thought you did an amazing AMAZING job writing him and his mental state post-canon and i actually made a private bookmark with some quotes i really liked, so tysm for writing and sharing that! just wanted to say that since i got too shy to leave an actual comment back then 😅

but anyways this is really long and i really just wanted to ask if tsme month is for you to answer asks and provide much, much appreciated content or if other people can/should use the tag too? again, i didn't even realize this fandom even existed until last night because i'm a dumbass so apologies if this is a very silly question 😂 but i did a drawing and i was wondering if that should go under the tag or if that's not allowed flaksdf

sorry for this likely incomprehensible ask but you're amazing and thank you so so much for your content and contributions i can't say that enough 😭😭

HOLY.

HOLY MOLY.

I am so

I mean first of all YES!!! tHere is a fandom! Small, but it exists (and I love it very much)! and alskjdlakjdlkajlthank you so much??? I know I am not really great at either, BUT I do have a lot of enthusiasm :DDDDD and willingness to put things out for tsme <3

And THANK YOU LOADS FOR READING ‘FOR AS MANY REVOLUTIONS’!!! <3333 AAAA I was very worried about writing alan’s mental state correctly, so that’s a huge relief to know you specifically enjoyed that part!! AND THE MADE-UP LORE!! AND WORLDBUILDING!!! AAAAA!!! The lore especially took me on a field trip, I had so much fun, but while drawing the trigrams and sequencing at 1am-ish I also distinctly remember myself thinking ‘wtf am I doing’ kasjdlkasjdk I still had tremendous fun tho. just the whole trigrams and dragon business was super fun to me THANK YOU!!

AND to tackle the last point: YESSSSSSSSSSS I started TSME Month just as an excuse to scream a lot, but you are MORE THAN WELCOME to use the ‘tsme month’ tag if you wish to! You don’t have to, of course, but are mooooore than welcome to!! I haven’t really scoured it until now because when I started it, I wasn’t truly expecting a response BUT I have been so, so, so happy to see that some people have also posted content tsme in the last few weeks :DDD I do go into the ‘tsme’ tag as well from time to time (among others), just to see if we have new content. All this to say if you do use the ‘tsme month’ tag, I would be thrilleddddd Anyone is welcome to join in the screaming about tsme <333 actually that would send me over the moon

the only question for me is whether people feel comfortable with ME reblogging such content with the ‘tsme month’ tag again tbh! I guess people can tell me directly if they prefer me not to? I would of course tag, in the reblog, that the art is by the original poster!

#anon #replies #tsme month #tsme #the strongest mega evolution #for as many revolutions #I guess I can put #incombustibleshipping #???#since it also concerns that fic :'D #thank you so much for reading it!!#I am already giddy at the prospect of new tsme art

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dangermousie · 3 years

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Look at those arms! MMMMM!

You know, I really like Gilina. Or, more correctly, I really like what Gilina represents, both in terms of Crichton’s development and in his feelings for Aeryn. Gilina is Earth Crichton’s dream girl: she is blonde, pretty, sweet, and plucky (she is no push-over). She is also a girl geek, and a techie and for our scientist, that’s quite irresistibly appealing. (Btw, let me take a moment to note how much I like that the show showed us that Crichton had a type in women, B.A. (before Aeryn): they were blonde and sweet and had a certain safe niceness to them. Aeryn is not blonde, not sweet, and not safe at all. And neither is his feeling for her). If Gilina was a girl working for a research institute on Earth and she and John met at some party, I can easily see them talking, dating, falling in love and getting married. And having a happy married life. And the John of ‘PK Tech Girl,’ despite some unpleasant encounters in the Uncharted Territories is still enough of the Earth John to be attracted to Gilina, to be at the very beginning of developing something for her. He is still enough of an innocent, with enough uncomplicated and sweet left in him, for Gilina to be his type. But of course, that is not the case any more when they meet again in ‘Nerve.’ When they meet again, Gilina has had a fairly uneventful PK tech existence. She hasn’t changed much. But she is not Crichton’s type any more. Not after Maldis and finding out firsthand that there are psychopaths that will just enjoy watching you die for the fun of it, not after Crais and finding out that no, if you only explain the truth, it won’t make it better. The person will still want to kill you even if they believe you, even if it’s wrong and irrational, and there is nothing you can do. Not after ‘Jeremiah Crichton’ (my least fave ep of the whole show, but whose theme of Crichton’s long isolation is well taken). Not after finding out the truth about Zhaan, or almost dying out there in space with Aeryn. Not after the mind and soul fuck of ‘A Human Reaction.’ Gilina is not for this John. Not any more. And it’s not just that in the meanwhile he’s ceased to see anyone but Aeryn. It is also that his character has changed. And that is only the beginning. When he meets her in ‘Nerve’ it is pre-Scorpius, pre-Aurora Chair, pre-everything in S2, 3 and 4 (I’d do a list but it would take too long to type). If Gilina met S4 Crichton, she’d freak and run away and rightly so. A digression, but I find it fascinating how John's non-Aeryn women reflect his change. We have his ex-gf on Earth who he was serious enough to apparently want to propose to, before they went their separate career way. She is sort of like Gilina only blander, less engaging (Earth Crichton strikes me as someone who's had things come to him too easily because of his intelligence or what not. His passion (for whatever) was never truly engaged to the full, and the gf reflects that.) There is also Caroline (who we meet in Terra Firma) with whom he had something or other, but she is rather like his Earth-ex and it's clear the Crichton of TF doesn't even have anything to say to her any more. From them, we progress to Gilina (about whom see above). In first half of S2, there is the PK Disruptor. Now, she is a lot more edges, more hardness. If she is like anyone, it's a female version of Bond. And Crichton sleeps with her, because hey, he's tried everything to get Aeryn to admit any interest, he's beaten his head against the rock and he's beaten it and beaten it. But she refused and she's conclusively walked out of his life for good (not even came to see him for the very last time, when he needed her most). And also, girl can kill him, good to stay on her good side. There is no Gilina sweetness in her, at all. PK Tech Girl Crichton would annoy her and be intimidated to be with her, not so much Crichton of that s2 ep arc. But interestingly, that is the last time he even looks at another woman, no matter the circumstances. Once Aeryn and he admit their love to each other at the end of S2/beginning of S3, that is it. Even at the second part of S3, when Aeryn is off with Talyn-Crichton, Moya-Crichton goes deep into his obsession with wormholes, not any girls at all, and he is just as obsessed with Aeryn as ever. Even after the end of S3, the beginning of S4, even after he tells Aeryn "I can trust you with my life. But not my heart" and he locks himself away, he still does not look at anyone else. He cannot. And even the drugs cannot knock her out from his mind. Which is why his last non-Aeryn woman is Grayza, who rapes him while at the same time telling him if he gives her the wormhole stuff she will help him find Aeryn (OMG, that bit is seriously the worst in the whole scene). I think the darker progression of these women-others mirrors the darker and darker universe. OK, digression over. I find it interesting that in S1 we have a number of people (beings, whatever) whose life is affected, changed by Crichton and who are grateful for that and thank him for changing/opening/saving either explicitly, or it’s implied. But after S1 this slows to a trickle pretty fast and then stops almost entirely. Crichton is such an innately kind person, and one of the saddest things in the show is seeing this kindness leach away under the tortures (literal and figurative) he is subjected to. I find it so sad and so significant that in the S3 finale it’s Aeryn who brings up the fact that the command carrier has a lot of lives which John’s plan might end. Aeryn. Not John. She’s become more compassionate (she, who started out saying ‘I hate that word’) and he’s become much less. These are both reactions to their environment, to events they are in (When they initially meet, she is a product of an individuality-less, soulless scenario. Even if he is wrong in reading her at the very very first in Premiere during intros, he is not wrong in reading her potential, in recognizing she is a person, and even as early as Premiere she proves him right. I also love that for Crichton, she is always her own person, not a preconceived notion of what she should be. He loves her for being Aeryn, not for some idealized being in his head). And yet it is never completely suppressed, it is always there, however muted and downtrodden, however circumscribed. He had to jettison most of it in order to stay sane and to survive, but somewhere deep inside he is still the guy who, in a completely strange world, took the time to fix the eye-stalk of a mechanical critter thingy he didn’t know at all. And of course, part of the reason he jettisons it is also because whenever he tries to save someone or make it better, it often ends up making the situation worse. I am thinking for example of S3’s lovely ‘Different Destinations’ which turns a beloved sci-fi trope on its head and he has to live with it and he can barely bear it. And I love how the show never lets us forget the cost this takes on him, that he is not a power-hungry psychopath, a cavalier callous being only caring about his small group of friends. That coda to S4’s ‘We Are So Screwed’ where he is with Aeryn, and he breaks down, and he can’t help it, and he weeps for what he’d done, for what he almost did (and it’s going to be small fry in comparison with PKW) is just brilliant and heartbreaking and one of my favorite bits (and I love that she is there, and she silently comforts him, and he clutches her arm as a lifeline). And that is why I actually liked the drug storyline in S4. After all the stuff that Crichton been through, I am surprised he didn’t end up going on something earlier, just to deal with it all somehow (I love that the show brought up earlier that he has nightmares, feels tremendous guilt, and that was mid S2, I am sure they are much worse now). And it also made sense that when his number 1 obsession, Aeryn, told him to give it up, he did, as he’d pick her over anything. She’s his number 1 drug. Basically, he needs Aeryn desperately. She is what allows him to function, allows him to stay (relatively) sane, what holds him together. When he can’t have her, or doesn’t have her, he falls apart and needs something else to get through the days (wormholes in S3, lakka in S4). I do find it interesting that Crichton keeps his compassion, however tattered, but he develops absolute priorities, as a result of choices he shouldn’t have had to make. Most people don’t really analyze whether they will pick the woman they love or selling one’s soul and giving up something which earlier, to protect, you didn’t give up even when tortured or hunted or broken. They don’t have to. Crichton’s developed rigid priorities are a result of the environment where he had to confront those hierarchies in himself. Crichton’s earlier ‘purity’ and goodness and optimism exist in part because he is a product of a relatively sheltered life (compared to Uncharted Territories). But that early cleanness allows others to see a better or at least a different path for themselves and so they repay the favor later by pulling him out when he is on the brink of succumbing to all these horrors (which really do seem to be scarily disproportionately triggered at him). One of the things I love about Crichton is that even after he’s seen and dealt horrors, he has a certain moral absolutism to him (however broken it gets at times) and a pure refusal to give up, and strength even if only to make the least worst of two bad choices presented to him. Something untainted is always there, maybe a legacy of his initial idealism, and so he never breaks, not permanently, not irreparably, though he comes very very close. Throughout the show, even as that world bends and molds and twists him to its own parameters, he manages to make the world somewhat bend and mold and twist to himself. Do you know what I really really wish for John and Aeryn and the kid after the end of PKW? A few years of total peace, where they can just travel the space in Moya, and John can do his research, and be with Aeryn and watch their child grow, without having to worry about saving his and their lives every other day.

OK, these are getting epically long omg.

#farscape

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sessrinfvcked · 3 years

Text

A rant, because, the hilarity

I think everyone is aware to some degree or another of this writer in the ‘sessrin’ fandom, who has actually been an anti/fancop all along. You know, the one with the big ego, typical white American Karen in her 30s, mediocre writing if you’re being tremendously indulgent but thinks she’s invented the wheel, that kind of thing, username starts with E, condescendingly tells other people how and what to write despite the fact that she writes abusive stuff, harassed an artist, tokenizes POC, a healthy dose of terfery and internalized misogyny, all that good stuff you can expect from fancops really.

As far as I’m concerned I sniffed her out from the first few times I’ve seen her around but not everyone can recognize these things to the same extent, but lo and behold, now that Yashahime happened she has finally embraced the fact that she’s an anti and keeps talking about how Sunrise made Rin too young/little whatever, “Sessrin is pedo ship ewew”, the standard (oh, and how the company are awful writers and that she would have done so much better because she’s so smart and accomplished and has the right morals™ teehee) - while somehow still trying to maintain a last foot of presence and influence in the fandom because (*cough* clout) she’s an “adult Rin shipper” and “shippers like her have no voice”.

First of all, excuse me, but shipping adult Rin is like... the usual default, you are not oppressed for shipping what’s the standard shipped version of the ship bro, people who ship loli (like me) are few and far between and we usually don’t mention it, either for safety reasons, or because it’s not a relevant detail. Like imagine acting like just because a handful of people might like that aspect too, that suddenly you have no space for your own stuff when that’s what the most content created in this fandom is anyway. We must be some hella powerful fuckers if a tiny number of us can get you so pressed ROFL.

Second of all, she acts like she’s oppressed when all she was ever told was “loli/shota doesn’t make people pedos” which is discernible to anyone in possession of a brain. Don’t compare people to predators over cartoon ships, don’t equate a niche hobby to horrific acts they have nothing to do with, those are all common sense things for people possessing common sense.

Why act like you were told something revolutionary that somehow silenced and offended you, when it’s... just common sense... fiction doesn’t breed abusers or predators, there’s no “normalizing” anything unless you have the comprehension abilities of a roasted jellyfish and cannot tell what is and isn’t normal, or assume that everyone else around you is that stupid and that they wouldn’t be able to discern on their own (which btw is recurring misogynistic bs from the 1800-1900s, cuz allowing women emancipation suddenly meant that “omg what if they can’t tell the fiction they read isn’t real :O”)

Speaking of normalizing, so this lady has been rubbing off each and every anti to get in their good graces and now she’s besties with the dumbest of them all, you know the one, the one who enacts censorship and silencing while having the profile picture of a rock idol from back when rock meant freedom of expression - a rock star that I’d bet anything would whack them with a stick if they knew the sort of rhetoric this person is spreading with his face but alas. And now miss E the trash writer was thanking the dumbo because they learned from them how to “mess with people’s heads whenever they see those pedophiles”. PFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Imagine normalizing and throwing around a term so much you absolutely lose all notion of the actual danger it represents. Like assuming you’ve deluded yourself into thinking people playing with pixels makes them predators, assuming you’ve deluded yourself into thinking all shippers you don’t agree with because “you don’t have a voice”, that is, people who actually enjoy a show where you don’t - are pedos, imagine being like “I perceive you as an actual threat to society but somehow “messing with your head” is the appropriate response, as opposed to potentially contacting some authorities and preventing victims like I claim I wanna do”.

Also just imagine plain being proud of like, being a harasser, proud of deliberately “messing with people’s heads” and trying to hurt them.

LMFAO all of this is DERANGED.

This was, of course, bypassing the fact that there are no pedos anywhere, and I repeat and will repeat as many times as I need, gods above, what people like to do with fake characters that don’t fucking exist does not make them anything and whatever fictive dynamics gets them excited (for whatever fucking reason because it’s their business, not yours) will never tell you anything about whether they hurt real people or not. What the fuck.

#sessrin

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zirkkun-uthcs · 4 years

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What about Ink and Error falling in love with the same person 👀 btw love your blog, you write for the characters that people hardly see in x readers, so thank you!

Ooh, a very fun prompt! I'm an absolute sucker for love triangles. Also thank you!! I'm glad you enjoy my character selection hehe, I always feel like my AU choices are so different from the norm that nobody really likes them as much, but I'm glad to see that's not the case!

also my apologies, this got a little long, aaaaa I get too invested in love triangles

&&&

So Ink and Error are the weirdest pair of frenemies you'll ever see. One day they'll be trying to kill each other over Ink doing something purely to piss off Error, the next you'll see them hanging out calmly as if nothing ever happened. If you ask them how they feel about the other, Ink's response will be a carefree, "Error's fun to mess with!", while Error's will be "Ink is a piece of shit." They could literally be sitting next to each other, enjoying the other's company, and still give these exact answers.

With them seeing each other so much, it's no surprise that they both came across the same person and fall for them at the very same time. Error knew immediately what he was feeling, and rejected it just as fast, trying desperately to delete his own emotions, even though he knew that wasn't possible. Ink, on the other hand, has absolutely no idea, and is so oblivious to not only his own feelings, but accidental flirting as well, and can't understand for the life of him why you'll get so flustered over what he thinks is just a simple sentence. This infuriates Error for a few reasons: one, why of all people does he have to compete with Ink for your heart. Two, why of all people is Ink this much of an emotional dumbass.

They'll go back and forth between you, never interacting with you as a pair. More than likely, you probably had no idea who either of them were before they started hanging out with you all the time, so their sudden constant presence is a little ominous. It feels so weirdly timed, like a story -- one day, you'll be with Ink at the park while he loosely rambles about one thing or another, maybe sketching out some scenes while you're there; the next you'll be with Error, who's grumpily doing his best to try and cater to something you want to do, but man is he both awkward and quiet while trying. You also find out about his haphephobia very quickly, and he usually keeps at least a 1-2 ft (0.3-0.6 m) radius around you at all times.

Error, while hanging out with you, definitely tries his best. He's been a victim to emotions before -- and frankly, he knows he wouldn't have even bothered getting close to you if it wasn't for the fact he was competing against Ink. He can't like you be swooned by a dumbass like him. But the problem is that he has absolutely no idea how to aporoach this. What do people do when they like someone? Do they hang out? Do they get stuff for them? You'll probably get a lot of weird mixed messages, and maybe a plethora of hand-knit things.

Ink is also going to be extremely unclear and give just as many mixed messages as Error, if not more, and he is not once going to acknowledge how he feels. It's difficult for him to discern what of his feelings is artificial and what has manifested from the ink he's drank, and especially without drinking his pink or purple vials, those being care and attraction, he has absolutely no idea that the reason he's so happy and feels bubbly around you is because he likes you, since his emotions are pretty much inside like "Uhhh where's the caring emotion?? Not here?? Okay, so we don't care. Just happy."

One day they'll both meet up with you, unintentionally, and Error will be the first one to snap and get mad at Ink. They'll probably babble on in some sort of argument for a while -- c'mon guys this is awkward you were just trying to eat lunch -- before Error will break and just confess on the spot. When he realizes what he's done, it's too late, so, fuck it, he confesses on Ink's behalf as well, which confuses both Ink and you tremendously. Error just scolds at Ink for being a dumbass and not realizing what his emotions meant, and when it's explained, Ink says something like "Ohhhh! THAT'S what that feeling is?" and probably just laugh it off. He doesn't even feel shame or embarrassed.

Error just furiously demands you make a choice: him or Ink. Technically, you do have two more options, being none and both.

If you pick Error, he's going to have so many feelings at once he won't know what to process first. His face has bluescreened and his eyes are not visible amongst the errors. He wants to rub it in Ink's face that someone can care about him, he's baffled by the idea that someone would genuinely like him, and he's worried you'll not be okay with him and his haphephobia. Physical contact is a thing in relationships, right? Now he's panicking. Oh God what has he done. Meanwhile, though, Ink doesn't care. He only thought of you as a friend anyway, but that is in part because he had no idea what was he was feeling and just kinda labeled it that way.

If you pick Ink, suddenly it will click. Suddenly, the concept of being happy around someone specific will click in his head, overwhelm him entirely, and -- ah, there he goes, he's puked up ink again. Er, you still happy with your choice? Ink doesn't say much of anything; he's not been so silent in so long, but the silence is just echoing in his skull as he thinks about the fact that someone so genuinely cares about him. Should he... try to do the same? No, he thinks, he doesn't want to create any artificial care by downing a bottle of pink love paint. That would be wrong. Error, on the other hand, is internally furious, but mostly at himself. He immediately goes back to the Anti-Void before he snaps.

If you choose both, they'll be taken aback, neither of them expecting that response. Error will first try to tell you that didn't answer the question, but if you persist in saying you can't pick between the two, he'll shut himself down. Ink, once he registers what you said, is incredibly open to the idea, but Error takes a bit more coaxing to warm up to the idea, but even still he might need some time. The idea of dating the same person as Ink bothers him greatly. He'd probably be more okay with it if it was literally anyone else. ...okay, literally anyone other than Ink or Fresh. But, eventually, he'll cave to his own emotions and try it.

If you choose neither, well. Genuinely, they don't care. Error's going to be a bit mad at himself for bringing himself this far down the line for no result, all just because Ink pissed him off, but he is definitely not concerned about the fact he just got rejected. Ink just never really cared to begin with. He's fine with just being friends. He probably wouldn't even care if you told him to never talk to you again in your life. He'd just be like "Okay!" and leave. No point in arguing.

#undertale #undertale headcanon #undertale x reader #undertale au #inktale #ink #errortale #error #inktale headcanon #inktale x reader #errortale headcanon #errortale x reader #uthcs headcanon #zircon answers #Anonymous #long post

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nameless-shrimp · 3 years

Note

heyo shrimpy!! sorry for the late response,, i got busy with exams lolol first, how are you today? :D Is anything good happening to you? enjoy your vacation btw, i hope you have a lot of fun! ^^ second, hmm finding your artstyle? that sounds even more challenging than improving for me, ngl hh- I don't know why but reading your answer made me think of a chibi dazai eating a nice burger... sounds cute,, I'm sure your drawing turned out amazing :D it's always a bliss noticing your art getting better, makes me want to draw more ^^ somehow, you drawing in a cuter art style makes you more adorable,, lovely doodles filling the empty pages,,,,

imagine dazai catching you doodling him with cute little hearts around the page,, and as his lips curved upwards a mild shade of pink dusts his cheeks, admiring you a little bit more before walking towards you quietly, wrapping his arms around your neck from behind. your frame stilled against his loving embrace, the pencil in your hand dropping on the concrete desk, your lover's lips close to your ears... his warm breath hit the back of your ear, kissing it in the process.

"I didn't know you drew me so much, gioia mia~¹" his sweet, teasing voice gently made its way into your eardrum, with you shivering afterward. his soft, umber locks brushed against your tender skin, the warm temperature his body radiated comforting you. your cheeks were probably red by now, and you were certain he already noticed. after all, when does he not?

clearing your throat, you comfortably positioned yourself, closing your eyelids slowly before speaking.

"u-uh, yeah. I, uhm-"

"and they're so well done, my darling! I assumed you were an artist since you always brought a notebook and pencil with you, even in our workplace, but I didn't expect you to draw me... I am flattered, my belladonna~ your artstyle mirrors the way you are... cute!~" your brain couldn't take in his words, and yours were stuck in your throat. all that was left was a stuttering mess whilst you shakingly turned around, with your lover chuckling at your adorable reaction.

dazai could now definitely see how your cheeks gained color, the redness painting them well. noticing your alerted gaze and trembling, he raised his hand to hold your warm cheek, caressing it with his thumb. although your quivering didn't cease, he took a note of how your eyes widened for a second before calming again. his smile broadened as you leaned into his touch, your timid orbs avoiding his loving ones. unfortunately for you, he had other ideas in mind.

and so, he leaned closer.

your eyes snapped back at him, his nose almost touching yours. a small gasp escaped you as you attempted to form a sentence, but failed to do so. the man in front of you only beamed at your reaction, his heart melting at how adorable and lovely you were. he was truly fortunate to have a loving, caring, understanding partner such as you.

he really loved you and cherished you with all of his soul.

"osamu! y-you're-" and before you could say anything else, the brunette gave you one last loving look before closing his eyes...

and placed his lips against yours.

your eyes bulged out from your sockets as a small shriek left your throat, but was immediately muted by your beloved's kiss. your flustered state couldn't comprehend what was happening, but the warmth of your chest was so overwhelming, you couldn't help but hastily press your lips back against his, tightly closing your eyelids to enjoy the moment more...

smirking, dazai stopped for a brief moment while you whined in protest, but he quickly soothed you while shifting his hands to grip your chair, gently twisting it around. you opened your eyes again to understand what he was doing... and regretted it as soon as you saw his smug look, while he caged you between him and your chair. you glanced around stunned, the dulcet shade of rosé overlapping your already flustered profile. shakingly, you looked up and met his calmer and haughty orbs again, making you gulp as your heart rammed in your chest.

his smooth, defined face was all you could see, and if it wasn't for your panicking mind, you were sure you could observe him for hours. you felt so open under his narrow, shadowy, russet orbs as if you were an interesting book he was very invested in. that fierce, intense way he observed you with, only made you shyer, and you shrank on your chair... which wasn't the best move, you thought, since he cornered you more than before, and all you could do was watch him from below, too red to do or say anything.

his low chuckle reverberated through the room, and a small drop of sweat rushed down your embarrassed face as he towered over you, devouring all of your sweet, lovable expressions. his smirk widened as your pupils shrank, bending down to your level once more. he tremendously wanted to pick you up and place you on the king-sized bed, while you desperately clung onto him and whispered his name, trying to evade his all-seeing gaze... but held himself back to tease you more.

after all, you looked so delicious right now...

"o-osamu..." your needy, wobbly voice brought him back from his little daydream, shaking off any other thoughts he had in mind... all that mattered now was you. humming, he got closer to you, both of your faces millimeters away. if he was trying to kill you, he was doing a great job at it. the smile never left his mouth, and you could feel the confidence seeping through him... his breath hit your lips as he exhaled making you freeze on the spot.

"hmmm? what is it, my dear? do you perhaps need something?" he asked, already knowing what you wanted and needed. but hearing you spell it out for him... it was a bliss.

you nervously exhaled, feeling the warmth in your cheeks rise as if you weren't blushing enough. not brave at all to face him head-on, you fiddled with the hem of your shirt, looking down as you did so. dazai screamed internally at the cuteness with all the courage you had, you shyly told him...

"p-please osamu, i-i need you..." and that was all he needed. chuckling, he stared at you with a wolfish grin, pleased to hear those words coming out of your lips.

"then... let me take care of you, amore mio~²"

your sketchbook was long forgotten that night, but dazai did make you "sing" some sweet songs for him...

¹ = means my joy in Italian, the ask from Sofi sparked something within me 😶 dazai giving you Italian pet names sounds perfect-

² = my love, once again, in Italian- hh

okay i got too carried away 💀 ANYWAY THANKS FOR NOT READING THE ONE I SENT BEFORE HH SORRY AGAIN, PLEASE ENJOY YOUR DAY AND KEEP ON DRAWING UR ART CUTE AF

first of all, my vacation is going well! i enjoyed going out and riding some rides, plus took a nice shower and now i am relaxing in my bed, hehe.

second, it's truly a bliss to see my own artwork improve over time! it makes me extremely happy. also, i love the idea of dazai eating a burger, that's adorable. i have been wanting to doodle dazai a lot lately; probably cause he's just so adorable to me and he's absolutely breathtaking, hehe. it's nice to fill up the empty pages and just letting your mind flow as you draw.

third... OH MY GOD. READING ALL THAT WHEN I WAS IN LINE FOR MY RIDE MADE ME SO FLUSTERED UNDERNEATH MY MASK. AND REREADING IT ALL OVER AGAIN MAKES ME SO ASFJFSOXMSK 😳🥺💘 it was so, so sweet of you to write all that! please, dazai speaking pet names in another language truly sounds like him. not to mention, the fact that he was so flirty and he's such a tease from how you portrayed him, my heart is fluttering. and the very end though. oh my. 🥰🙈 goodness that really made me so blushy, hahaha.

thank you for taking your time to write that. it always warms my heart to read these and wow, omg, you just really wanted to fluster me today, did you? ASHFIAOZNA thank you so much for this. my heart... i have no words. it just made my day so much better too, haha. bless your kind soul, i loved reading it all 😭🤍

#my heart is melting #omg #i can't rn #asks: sweetlebub #dazai fics: sweetlebub

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queensgaybeach1d · 4 years

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HELLOOO, I just discovered your blog, shame on me. So, I read your masterpost about the stunts in the industry (great work btw) and was wondering how to tell if something is real or purely pr. Would you mind giving me a few pointers ?? Answer however and whenever you can.

Hello Sweetie,

Thank you so much for your lovely words. I would love to help you dig deeper into the PR industry. In fact, I did some research myself and I stumbled upon a great confirmation on how everything works. I think it is just the right fit for you, sweetheart.

Please take your time reading the post and if you have any questions or suggestions, please do not hesitate to ask me. Have a great day and enjoy!

Kisses,

Suman 😊

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How to spot a PR relationship?!

This post is made for everyone who would like to learn how to spot a fake relationship in Hollywood. This information is supported by a very reliable source. The name of the source is Jack Ketsoyan, he set up two PR relationships himself. If you would try to compare this to your favourite Hollywood couple, you might be surprised of the outcome. I wish you all the best while reading this and if you have any questions/suggestions please do not hesitate to ask. Enjoy! :)

This is the link of the podcast about the PR relationships (skip to 5.40). I will make a little summary of the very important things Jack said. There is also another man who is speaking about this subject. His name is Christopher and he is a lawyer who has worked with cases like these for a long time.

(Please note that I am in no way hating on anyone. I have a strong dislike for all ‘’beards’’, but what they do with their lives is their responsibility. Therefore I mean no harm to any of these people. It would be very sad if any of these people would do it because they needed money for their families. If that was the case I would truly feel sorry for them, but the thing is they want to become famous by dating someone else who put his/her hard work in his/her career. That it just not fair. There are plenty of ways to become famous by dedication, hard work and staying yourself.)

I want to give compliments to the lovely @Totallylost4you on twitter. She made me aware of the podcast.

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-’’To hide the artist’s sexuality; boosting of the careers.’’ --> (Louis, Harry, Zayn, Liam and Niall. Also, Kristen Stewart, Cara Delevigne and Taylor Swift) -->

‘’It is more common on the male side than on the female side. There are certain celebrities who were, back in the day, in the closet and it was not okay to be out. We live in a completely different time nowadays, these days being gay is okay. So back in the day that was the biggest secret, it was a big taboo, if a certain high profiled male, the heartthrob is all of a sudden gay, they were not going to get the bigger roles anymore. They were going to be type casted, so that was the big way of hiding things. Them hiding their sexuality was dating a female who would keep them in the limelight basically and cover it up.’’ [about closeting] ‘’Times have changed, it still happens, but a lot has changed.’’ --> There are still people who would not like attending a Harry Styles (the heartthrob) concert when he comes out as gay.

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-’’To be able to sell the hype of it.’’ --> (Whenever a picture of Taylor and Tom or Louis and Eleanor comes out, people are quick to retweet, post and talk about what happened. Within no time the pictures have traveled through the internet. Which automatically means that a lot of people have seen it. All of this gives the label/couple/artist attention and money. --> Whether it is bad attention or good attention, attention means money.) a few examples of these couples are also: Haylor, Zigi and Elounor.

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-’’To sell tickets to concerts or movies.’’ --> 1D world tours and solo tours. That is also why beards like Camille Rowe, Eleanor Calder and Maya Henry attend their concerts. As for movies think about Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart (who is gay) fake dating, moments after Twilight came out. Think about 1D bringing their fake girlfriends to the world premiere and Zayn and Perrie getting engaged a second after. The purpose of these events are attention. Sweethearts, whenever people go to these shows/movies all they will focus on is 1D and their ‘girlfriends’. Photos will spread faster than ever and people will talk about how ‘real’ they are. Their aim is to kill two birds with one stone; making them look like a ‘real’ couple whilst promoting their movie/album.

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-’’To sell albums.’’ --> (Zigi, Chiam, Elounor, Hamille, Nailee, Haylor.) Let us be honest, are they not the biggest reasons why antis buy the album? Just to see what stuff they write about their fake girlfriends/boyfriends. Just to see how ‘Camille’ pronounces ‘’Coucou’’or just because Gigi Hadid starred in Zayn’s music video. Or maybe to finally know the ‘truth’ about Taylor’s fake relationships.

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-’’It's all about the hype at the moment. Especially with the social media world.’’ --> I am going to point out an important thing Jack said. He said ‘’especially with the social media world.’’ Remember when there were only rumours of Louis and Eleanor being back together? The whole fandom tweeted about it. This made it popular and that was the solid moment 1D’s label knew that Elounor 2.0 would do it for them. They would earn a lot by it. The same thing counts for Zigi, Chiam, Haylor, Hamille. Hamille is a good example too. When all of you heard that Harry wrote a song about her and that her voice was going to be included in his song, what happened? Exactly, everyone went nuts and made sure to listen to that exact song. That is exactly what they want. They want that power over you, that is what gives them the money. Another example, how fast do you think solo Zayn stans and Directioners tweeted about a ‘power couple’ when the news broke that Zayn and Gigi are ‘expecting a child’? How fast did people open their social media accounts when Kylie Jenner was pregnant for the Kardashian’s 10th anniversary? (Social media does A LOT. Whenever a picture of Eleanor (beard) and Clifford (Louis’ dog) arrives on the internet, people automatically assume they are together in a room. This, is not the case. That is how convenient social media is to arranged relationships. Why start a rumour by hiring newspapers instead of posting a message on social media? It is much cheaper and more people will know about it in less than four hours.)

Promoting certain brand like Coca Cola (Elounor), YSL, Gucci, Vogue (Zigi) and Hugo Boss are also a part of it. Celebrities wearing those brands make their fans want to buy it too, think of the Kardashians promoting Adidas and other expensive brands. Also think of people like Briana Jungwirth promoting flat tummy tea. This is called ‘celebrity branding.’

Tell me, how many times do you get HQ pic of your PR couple on your phone? People tend to go out of their mind when pictures come out. That is the immediate effect Hollywood has on social media/ you. That gives them the promo they need, even during quarantine the beards post pictures of themselves, making you think they are together when in reality they are not. :)

{About why Jack hooked an arranged relationship up himself} --> ‘’It was more of a mutual agreement between the agents. {Tells a story about an actor getting bad reviews for a movie and in order to let people focus on something else they got the actor a girl, so the media would focus on the girl instead of the bad movie.}’’ --> ‘’Just a one year deal. Basically they finished of the press and the international press and then they went their separate ways, because she did not want to do a two year deal.’’ {interviewer asks if it worked} --> ‘’It worked.’’ --> A few examples of (approximately) a one-year deal: Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift, Niall Horan and Hailee Steinfield and Louis Tomlinson and Danielle Campbell. It is also good to point out that the beard can decide whether she wants to continue or not, but the celebrity has to do what the agent arranges.

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{Interviewer asks what reasons people might have to agree to one of these PR relationships} --> Different reasons, that could be to deflect attention away from a controversy (damage control. think of something Larry or Ziam related happening and the next day Zigi and Elouno are papped. Or fans finding out Louis is in the same country as Harry and the next day they will let Elouno do a pap walk. Another example is when Ziammies find out a Zigi picture is photoshopped, the next day you will see Zigi in person. This happens when their stunts fail). So if an actor has drugs and alcohol problems they may want to give the appearance that they have settled down and are in a committed relationships so that they can banked for films. Or they are going to be able to get bonded and get work and people will trust them, because they have settled down. It also could be done to create a brand. Two celebs getting together and 'now there's this tremendous interest about them being a power couple.' [...] We create strong provision against the disclosure of any negative facts against the celebrity - with consequences. So these agreements need to be structured with a hold back of money so that over time if they have complied with the agreement and not disclosed ehh no personal information and violation the agreement then they would be entitled the payment, so under the agreement. " --> The last part might be difficult to understand, because the lawyer uses difficult words, but what he is actually saying is very important. He says if the celebrities who are in the PR relationship have done their part (parading around with each other) then they will receive their money (please correct me if I am wrong). The host also confirmed that contracts like these are the reason why a lot of celebrities do not admit they had a PR relationships.

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Clues on how to spot a PR relationship:

-‘’The main clue you would see is if, you know, a certain high profiled male is dating a female (or when a high profiled female is dating a regular male), who was not high profile. All of a sudden, she is, overnight, the most talked about girl in Hollywood and everyone want a piece of them. That is the biggest thing, you know, it is such a career boost for the female that some females end up taking the deal.’’ --> Zigi, Elounor, Chiam, Brouis, Haylor, Taylor and Calvin. How does the world know Eleanor Calder? Because of Louis Tomlinson. No one knew her before, except her family. How did Gigi gain so many followers? Because she started dating Zayn Malik. Gigi already had a platform for herself, but she gained a lot of followers by dating Zayn. Zayn also gained followers by dating Gigi. Gigi needed promo and Zayn was in the spotlight, because he just ‘left 1D.’ This made him the perfect target. I hope all of you also notice that when beards/fake girlfriends post pictures of them with their fake boyfriend, it gets way more likes than their usual pictures.

{What was the benefit for the girl in the scenario?} --> ‘’Ehm, she has a huge career at the moment. She benefit from that by becoming a household name (someone that is well known) and getting bigger roles than she would have. She would use to be the 3rd or the 4th lead in any auditions or any jobs that she was getting. She then became the first lead. She got a great career boost out of it, for sure.’’ --> Gigi Hadid, Eleanor Calder, Sophia Smith, Cheryl Cole, Maya, Camille Rowe and Kendall Jenner are just a few examples.

How did the world know Townes? Because ‘Harry named’ her in one of his songs. How did the world know about Maya Henry? Because Liam Payne started dating her. Before this, she was just a fan. How did Cheryl Cole get the attention back? Because of baby gate and by fake dating Liam Payne. How did Briana gain so many followers? Because Louis Tomlinson fans gave her the attention and because she participated in faking a pregnancy. How did Shawn and Camilla become a couple in the spotlight? Because people have always shipped them, ever since the beginning and their label gave the fans what they wanted. How did Kim Kardashian become famous? A *** tape of her and Ray J leaked and she became famous. Now, she is a lot richer and more famous than he is. A quick note, not many people know how Kim Kardashian became famous. They only really know her from Keeping Up With The Kardashians. The newer generation does not know about the tape scandal, and that is what they do. You need to dig a little deeper to see that. This all is an on-going cycle and it will not stop unless we all stop believing it. 😊

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What do they do in order to make a PR relationship look real?

{Interviewer asks what the clauses in an arranged relationships contract are} --> ‘’An arranged relationship is estranged by definition. So certainly we are going to see requests that are equally odd. They are certainly going to have requirements as to how they hold themselves out to the public as a couple. This would mean appearances at award shows, parties or events together as a couple and that there would be requirements maybe for specific events.’’ --> Eleanor attending Jay’s wedding and being ‘maid of honor’, Calvin and Taylor at Award shows, Elounor at the fashions show 2013, Haylor and their NYE ‘kiss’, Zigi at the MET gala and Chiam at the Brits, celebs at after parties with their ‘girlfriends’. All of these couples have also pictures with each other’s family members. That made a lot of you think they are close and real, well my loves, now you finally know that it is all part of a PR stunt. The fake girlfriends also have to look supportive, that is why they have to be there at concerts, soccer matches, award shows etcetera. 😊

Remember when Eleanor (beard) posted a picture of herself and in the background you could see a picture of her and Louis in 2012 and ‘Louis’ written on a board? Remember when she posted a picture of herself with her and Louis’ boots in the background in 2018? All of these things are there to make it look like they truly live together and that they truly own each other’s stuff. The same thing counts for Haylor’s airplane necklace. Do you genuinely think they did that by accident? No, that is the purpose of the whole picture. 😊

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‘’Then there is going to be particularly some none disclosure issues surrounding them as to what cannot be said about the relationship and what needs to be said. There could be a script even as to what they have to say if asked about the relationships. There would be photo sessions showing them as a couple. And then I have seen issues of sexual relationships and specific whether this would happen or not happen in an agreement. But if it is truly a PR relationships then sex would not be a part of that relationship, because it is not real.’’ --> Loves, do you remember a moment when someone asked a celebrity about his/her relationships and they stuttered and looked uncomfortable, or they just said something wrong or embarrassing or tried to talk themselves out of it? Well, that happens when you have to make up stuff that never happened. Louis Tomlinson confirmed his interviews are scripted, so this one is just an extra thick layer of confirmation. I also recall Gigi doing a live and someone asked about Zayn and she just stuttered and looked away, not knowing how to answer a question. (I think there have definitely been times when two people who were in an arranged relationship gave different answers to the same question, why? Because they do not know anything about each other.) Here is an example of a moment that is repeated and scripted about Louis’ ‘relationship’ with Eleanor, even know we have legit proof that is not what happened:

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Now I can hear all your lovely brains working and thinking whether a celebrity is willing to sign a contract like that or if their label is making them sign it. Well, if you have read my previous masterpost about the music industry you can see confirmations of the label making the artist their puppet. They own you, so if they think you should have a girlfriend to hide gay rumours then they will give you one. ‘A label cannot force you anything’, but it does make you sign a contract. When you sign the contract without reading it carefully, then your label will mess you up. In those contracts they do not write ‘’Taylor Swift has to agree to arranged relationships.’’ They write stuff like ‘’When signing the contract, Taylor Swift allows the label to make changes in order to get her to fame.’’ Of course Taylor (and other artists) would think that they mean changing her outfit and looks, but no. The label thinks being gay is something that will not get people enough fame. So what do they do? They change her, they change her sexuality. They closet her and even though Taylor and other LGBTQ artists do not want that. You cannot deny because when you do so, the label will show you the contract you signed. A contract like that is never written literally, they can manipulate their words. To the label ‘’being gay or a part of the LGBTQ+ community’’ falls under ‘’making changes’’ in order to make her famous. Of course there are celebrities who willingly closet themselves for various reasons. I hope to create a single post about how devious these contracts are for you all! 😊

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Here are a few things I hope you have learned from this: 😊

- Fake relationships still exist and they will always exist. It has been confirmed, so no one can deny this anymore.

- The girl and boy have to go to special events, such as award shows, family dinners and weddings in order to make it look real.

- Homophobia is still a thing and the biggest reason why arranged relationships exist.

- The beard has a contract too, so your idol has no say in how long she can or cannot stay. If she does good then she will stay. (I see many people say that Louis chose Eleanor because they are friends and that is why she is back, but he actually has no say in anything. Your idol is their product to sell. Your idol is basically a marionette.)

-The PR team does everything to make it look like they are truly together, think of photos of each other in each other’s homes and ‘personal gifts.’

-Celebrities get an enormous boost on their social media accounts when they start being part of an arranged relationship. Something I have always thought was a bit odd, is the fact that Eleanor never created an insta account until her and Louis’ ‘relationship’ had its peak; in the middle of June 2012. When in reality, insta was created in 2010. She also created twitter in 2012. Exactly when the first few big events were attended by them. (I genuinely think she did that, because everyone wanted to see more of her. Plus, she has always wanted to be a fashion blogger and this was her ‘big moment’ to do so.)

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The credits for this post go to @Totallylost4you. They made me aware of the podcast and they continue to shine light on hidden treasures like this one. They also hardly get credits for their solid hard work and I hope they will continue doing this! Thank you!

Thank you so much for your attention. If you have any question/suggestion, please do not hesitate to ask/tell me! I wish all of you the best and please stay safe. Have an amazing day!

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molnlycke · 3 years

Text

100 DAYS OF SUNLIGHT BY ABBIE EMMONS REVIEW

As a disclaimer I want to say that I found the Youtube channel of Abbie Emmons by one of her ‘write with me’ videos. Following that I watched some of her WritersLifeWednesdays vlogs and thought, this woman has tremendous passion and work put into her craft. She actually gives valuable advice, and the themes of her videos are pretty good. So when I saw that she has a novel of her own published, I wanted to see how she incorporates the stuff she talks about into practical work. This is how I started reading her debut novel: 100 Days of Sunlight.

I was curious, okay?

But oh man, what is this?

This book… I’m sorry it’s just so bad. The mess of glaring problems, plotholes, the …characterisation. Abbie Emmons says every good story is character driven (which I wholeheartedly stand by if it is executed well!!!) but what should I get from this, honestly?

There are too many things screaming PROBLEMATIC here.

But let’s start at the beginning.

The exposition––the first chapter’s building don’t make no sense. It has a twist in it alright, but why start with something that turns out to be a dream (or a scrap of a memory in this case) of the actual past, only to get dumped with everything else that also happened following that scene? All of this is told from the protagonist’s reminiscing of said happening.

- To be clear the book starts with the scene of an accident–the accident in which the protagonist, Tessa loses her sight. A drunk driver with a pickup truck runs the red light crashing into the car Tessa and her grandmother are in. Soon it turns out that’s only a recurring nightmare and she’s been home for one or two weeks (maybe? I don’t remember precisely). By this time she has already lost her sight. Tessa runs the audience over all that happened after the accident (basically in those weeks she got discharged from the hospital etc. etc.) Now my question is why not start the book from the accident itself? It all gets narrated either way.

The next problem is the way first Tessa’s grandparents, and then the WHOLE BOOK just downplays consent. Why? Why would you do that?

- Tessa’s grandparents “know better what’s good for her than she does”–that’s an actual quote from the novel btw. Nothing glaringly alerting in that, I mean adults often have this way of thinking about children. Until… they try to arrange a stranger to help Tessa with transcribing her work. Tessa is a poet with a blog where she posts her work on schedule. Ever since the accident, she doesn’t feel like writing (or blogging for that matter). She’s shut herself off from the virtual world, doesn’t touch her laptop, nor speaks with her internet friends. (Because ofc she’s homeschooled, doesn’t like to go out at all and only has internet friends in the first place.) She’s in her room for most of the day, cries a lot and tries to cope. Whether her coping is good or bad I’m not qualified to say, but she thinks of herself as selfish, lazy, cynical, and depressed most of the time––everything she never wanted to be, things hates with every fibre of her being. She blames herself and basically detests life for beating her down to the ground. She feels she can’t get up even though she’s told, her blindness is a condition that can go away in ninety-something days’ time. I think feeling these emotions are pretty reasonable for a teenager. It’s been like three weeks since the accident, and her newfound blind perspective of life. That can’t be easy. BUT her grandparents know this isn’t healthy, Tessa needs to write. “I haven’t written one verse, one line, one word of poetry. I have no desire to. I have no inspiration, no joy. It’s all gone.” - Tessa from ch.1 So what do Granny and Gramps do following their infinite wisdom? Play the girl. And I’m like, sure dude, harass the child into doing what you want. Sure, don’t try to get her professional help or a psychotherapeutist or something if you think she’s faring so terribly. Sure, run an ad for hiring some part timer to transcribe for the poet who doesn’t want to write anymore. Sure, do it all behind her back. I mean she has PTSD and is blind for now, but yeah, this will most definitely help. Good job! For goodness’ sake they treat the girl like she’s been locked inside her room for months?!

When they share this brilliant plan with Tessa, she freaks out so much the elderly retract the ad. But not before the son of the newspaper’s owner gets a scrap of this new, possible past time activity and decides to be a creep and essentially stalk Tessa. But that’s for later.

Tessa explicitly tells her grandparents she doesn’t want to meet new people, doesn’t want to write, what she needs is time. So the next thing Granny does is pushes an unknown, teenage boy into her blind granddaughter’s room for a chat. Against Tessa’s repeated objections! There’s so much nonsense going on in the sequence of the story. Like one day there comes a boy–a stranger, knocking on the door, saying he’s this and this’ son and wants to help. And because, at a glance, he has prosthetic legs, you invite him first into the house then into your blind teenage granddaughter’s room? Without actually knowing if he is who he says he is? Without knowing the first thing about him? But even if that part is true, and he is who he says–the son of the newspaper’s owner, let’s not forget the mildly stalkerish way the guy’s been acting.

Granny shares a shit load about Tessa’s problems, then flat out tells her to meet Weston. “I told you I don’t want help. And I certainly don’t want anyone touching my laptop. I don’t want to write. I don’t want some stranger coming into my house and feeling sorry for me!” That’s Tessa speaking with Granny prior to the meeting. I mean it’s no biggie if she’s against the whole idea because he could help, right? Is this the American way of handling things? Someone give me a spoon that I can boink myself in the head with to get around this type of mentality.

At the first meeting Tessa has meltdown, screams at Weston and cries. Tells him she doesn’t need help. Tells him not to bother. Tells him she wants him OUT OF HER ROOM. Weston leaves before telling her he’ll be back the next day. And Granny and everyone else is fine with that. So in the following days the nuisance has the audacity to come over, small-talk the grandparents into loving him because he’s so charming everyone is in love with him a little. (That’s another thing from the book, I shit you not, the dude straight up thinks things like this. Yes, I know it’s self-deceit.) Weston forcibly takes over Tessa’s room which is basically the last place she feels comfortable at? Never mind, now someone’s popping in randomly when they think it’s cool, telling her what to do––“I know you don’t need me. But you need to write.” Bitch I think you need to fuck off from people’s lives who don’t want you in it. Just an advice.

One time Tessa wakes up to Weston barging into her room (“...he walks into my room without knocking, at 9.00 a.m., when I’m still in my pajamas”). Granny’s off to do her things leaving the boy to stay and make himself at home. Huh, quite reasonable.

Weston forces Tessa to accept there’s no fleeing this situation––one, the three of them (him and the oldies) constructed for her. Because it’s helping.

That’s basically the question of: where’s the line between wanting to help someone and pushing them even deeper when they’re already at a bad place. But since this is a YA romance everything is nice and good and sorted at the end so Tessa can thank her loving family for forcing their volition on her.

- Here’s another lovely example of consent portrayed in the novel: “I told you I don’t want to go outside.” Weston laughs. “You also told me to get out of your house and never come back.” “And you directly disobeyed my wishes.” “And you’ve been enjoying it...” Please tell me I’m not the only one seeing what’s wrong with this whole dialogue. It’s so disappointing and frankly, discouraging, to see an attitude like this written by a woman, targeted at a young, female audience.

- Oh, there’s their first kiss as well. It’s really really romantic. Weston asks for permission then doesn’t wait for the answer! “I’m gonna kiss you. Is that okay?” It’s not fair, because I don’t give her any time to reply. Instead, I press my lips against hers. Without permission.” ...So why did he even bother to ask? To seem nice? Well, as the saying goes it’s the thought that counts… So is this how consent works? NO! But consent never stood a chance in this book at the first place.

Next up; Characters.

*not @me side-eyeing Abbie’s video about how to craft a strong female protagonist* - I’m not gonna say a lot about Tessa. For me she falls flat like a cut-out. She’s paper thin, and dumb, although she’s the novel’s protagonist. Funny though, I feel she has less to give to the story than Weston, and it’s not just the length of their respective chapters. There’s like 600-700 words from Tessa’s POV (mainly about Weston 80% of the times), then we get a 4k word count chapter from Weston (mainly about his own journey and overcoming his struggles). Tessa’s chapters are either shallow or about her time spent with Weston. Opposed to this Weston has a full arc of him getting over the loss of his legs and standing up from it (quite literally). See what I’m talking about? All I get from Tessa before the accident is that she’s a writer, homeschooled, likes her colour coordinated books, and waffles (like Abbie ha!) (*whispers* and she wears her hair in a messy bun, ofc she does). Oh and she can’t live without WiFi. All I get after the accident is that she’s hurting, angry and blind. And now she has Weston. So her backstory is…..?

- Weston. Oh man where to start. Now he has a backstory. From it we can conclude how idiotic he is. That’s not recklessness or being a teenage boy. I’m sorry but his behaviour is simply idiotic. Sometimes he’s really grown up (taking care of his baby brothers and all) other times he has like 1 (one) braincell operating in his head. Bearing weeks of pain, and not saying anything about it to anyone because that’s not superhero like? WHAT??? He experienced, at the least, three weeks of torturous pain and several days of fever and dizziness, popping Advil like it’s candy. Still, the only one who realised this is his best friend at school and his 10 year old brother who was at the scene of Weston injuring his legs in the first place. What about the parents one might ask. Well Idk. Obviously a 13 year old is so good at deception and sneaking around that adults can’t catch on! On this note I want to gift Parents of the Year Award to Mamma and Pappa Ludovico. With parental supervision like that I’m baffled the child lived up to the age 13.

Weston is the nightmare male lead people usually salivate after in k-dramas stuffed into the body of a 16 year old American boy. Now I’ve never understood those people and their preferences of the bratty, entitled, but oh-so-handsome males and I still don’t understand to this day. Where’s the appeal? Don’t ask me.

I’ll just put down some quotes: “It’s the first time in three years anyone has ever met me without that look of pity on their face. The first time anyone has ever looked at me and not seen me. The first time anyone has stood before me—with perfectly normal legs—and complained about their own problem. The feeling is exhilarating.” So basically this is the so called ‘No one has ever treated me like this. Except this girl, my God, she’s intriguing’. Weston enjoys Tessa’s rude behaviour. “So she’s stubborn. She’s rude. She’s a spitfire wallflower who lost her sight and now hates anyone who tries to help her. Game on.” ...Are you five? “Tessa is the only Dickinson who doesn’t like me.” I have no idea why that could be. But, listen, listen: “I turn around in the desk chair, throwing her a hard look over my shoulder. She’s still sitting rigid and stoic on her bed, staring at nothing. She’s actually really pretty. Her eyes are bluer than mine—the enhanced kind of blue you see in contact lens commercials. She has freckles, too. Just a few, thrown across her nose and cheeks. Her hair is braided today, less messy. She looks so serious. I liked it better when she was screaming and crying.” Idk somehow this sounds like every badly composed romance I’ve ever seen. Let’s just say the progression of the relationship between Weston and Tessa infuriated me 90% of the story. You can help others without being an ass. You can also help others without being a horrible love interest, but that’s for another day. YA contemporaries don’t work like that.

Oh Weston, what a knight in shining armour. Three years prior, he had this thing with Clara Hernandez–a girl from school. It wasn’t real dating but they spent some time together (he walked her to class ooooh~~~) so she became “at the time, my unofficial girlfriend”. Things change after Weston’s accident, of course. He tells her he doesn’t want to continue their ambiguous relationship. And that’s alright, it’s his choice, BUT he then kind of passes the girl to his best friend, so she won’t annoy him anymore? The way he narrates the whole thing is...ugh. “But she wasn’t even dumping me, and we weren’t even dating. We were thirteen years old, for crying out loud.” See, this is Weston thinking about what happened. And this is him telling Rudy about it: “What were you talking to Clara about?” he (Rudy) asked. “I dumped her.” Following in another chapter they talk about how now that the coast is clear––Weston and Clara are through, Rudy should hit on Clara: “He wanted to resist the whole thing and deny his obvious crush on Clara Hernandez. But he couldn’t do anything except laugh and shake his head. He knew I was the best friend he could ever ask for.” Such a kind and caring person for handing out the girl he doesn’t really want to his best friend. Give him a medal for that one. Idk this whole business irked me to no end, like Clara was his possession or something. (Yeah, and the poor girl eventually ended up with Rudy, not like she had any other choice…)

- Downplaying female friendship. Yeah, that one happens as well. When Tessa talks with her friends (her blogging circle) the only thing we as readers can glimpse about their conversation is “Tell us more about the boy,” like... really? Because once again that’s the only thing a group of friends can talk about when one of them suffers an accident resulting in trauma. And Tessa’s answer? “At first, I didn’t like him. I thought he didn’t understand anything about me—even though he acted like he did. And I’m not sure that he understands much, even now. But he’s kind. And patient. And he kept coming back to type poetry for me, so I’ve kind of been forced to make friends with him.” The reply of her friends… “Aw ... He sounds really cute.” Yeah, really cute, forcing you to be friends with him. “How can you not be in love with a boy who makes you waffles?” Well, friend no.5, it’s not that hard… But there’s more. After Tessa gets her sight back the only thing we get from this supporting bubble of warm friends is as follows: “LIV: TESSA HOW ARE YOU FEELING ME: a lot better actually ME: my headache FINALLY went away MARIA: yayy!! ALLISON: PRAISE THE LORD ME: yeah fr KATE: So glad to hear you’re doing better, Tessa! It must be quite a transition omg… GRACIE: I can’t even imagine ME: it’s been pretty crazy ME: but good ME: I guess ME: ugh idk mixed emotions LIV: ???? LIV: TELL US EVERYTHING LIV: if u want to lol ME: ahhh well ME: Weston is kind of not talking to me anymore,” That is it my friends. Two to three sentences about her condition and it’s time to talk about the boy. Is this really how shallow anyone would want to describe the protagonist and her close-knit group of friends talking for the first time after one of them lost their sight? Then again, talking for the first time after she got her sight back? I’m disappointed to say the least.

- I didn’t care for any other character enough to jot down my observations. They were bland, they were there to help the main couple, nothing more, nothing less. Weston’s kid brothers were cute and Rudy seemed like a normal, sane character (I applaud him for that). All I can say is the families in this novel are something else.

The romance.

Okay, let me state before anything else: I like romance if there’s balance. I like romance when the people involved are equals. I believe a relationship, and a good one at that, should have cornerstones. One of them has to be that equality. It also doesn’t hurt if none of the involved parties are assholes. The romance can be of any trope as long as the happy ending is tied to said relationship being healthy. And I don’t mean sorely the end product; the way that relationship is constructed step by step should resemble these things. If not, at least call them out for it. I’m not the advocate of perfect characters or relationships (any kind, not just romance) because that would be really unrealistic. It can be bad, yeah, it can be toxic, or a little messed up in the middle. But for crying out loud reflect that in the storytelling! Do it especially if the story is planned for a younger audience! Now let me make another statement: What I don’t like is that in mostly American YA het-romances there are rarely any of these things.

- This one here is probably supposed to be the writer’s well liked trope of hate-to-love romance, but I feel the concept of kindergarteners is more fitting. The boy forces, the girl yields. But it’s okay because he likes her and wants to help.

There are some cases of harassment sprinkled in, as in one party objecting the other’s closeness or presence and the latter not giving a damn about this. Real respectful; but, hey, that’s part of consent too so I guess it simply flew over our heads in this particular story. A fresh and original concept on romance, wholesome and healthy. And the thing is, Weston actually knows these things. He literally says so in the book, “...until I intruded on Tessa’s life, however it happened.”

And of course Tessa is more pure than fresh snow on white lillies; she’s basically a lotus. Weston is the first boy stepping into her room. Give me a second to freak out about that. It’s so exciting! (Mostly by knowing the circumstances in which he did that.)

The other thing that annoyed me was Weston’s entitlement and holier-than-thou attitude. He knows everything better than Tessa. He knows Tessa better than she herself does WHEN HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT HER. That’s the moral of the story. No, but I’m not kidding, some of his thoughts set me on fire. “She wrote about sunlight and oceans and falling in love, when I’m pretty sure she has no idea what it feels like to fall in love.” I’m sorry, but do you know Tessa? (besides stalking her via the grandparents)???? The audacity, I’m cackling.

- Can someone tell me why Tessa speaks with Weston if she doesn’t want to? I mean besides that this way the story can go on. She actually starts their conversation on the second day. Me, personally, don’t talk to people whose presence I can barely tolerate. How silly, I know.

- Weston annoys the shit put of Tessa for like five minutes but he talks to her, (for his own selfish reasons may I add––Weston, honey, if you want people not to pity you try helping blind little kids who actually want your help) and brings her flowers, and chocolate so I guess it’s reasonable that approximately four days later Tessa’s attitude shifts to comparing him to sunlight. “Weston is everything And all at once. Weston is gentle And harsh. Weston can be blindingly bright But then he can also be Delicately soft. Weston is a paradox.” – Oof girl.

- Let me tell you kids just because someone annoys or teases you and you tolerate it––that’s not the get-go to life changing love. Even though he’s the first real life boy whom you’ve ever spent casual time with. But he’s the first boy who ever showed you real attention, you say. Well then, that’s a grace girls have to accept. Or so this book and so many others try to make us believe. The sad thing is, there actually could’ve been a conflict––if one wants to write about opposites attracting each other so much––without making the story so cliched and weak.

Plot-holes.

- Maybe it’s nitpicking for some, BUT… why was Weston in his dad’s office in the first place? I never got around to the reason of that. He loiters around there once a week, that’s what the book states. Well, okay, he is there inspecting the motivational quotes collection on the wall while his father just works away. And am I supposed to believe the man is all cool with this? What is Weston doing there? For what reason? The answer is easy: he simply had to hear the phone call of Tessa’s grandfather retracting the ad.

- Now why does his father–the owner of the newspaper–accept calls regarding ads in the first place? Is this really how things work? Other employees do nothing? I’ve worked at a small printing company in the past. The management only accepted calls regarding ads if there wasn’t a single soul anywhere near the perimeter of the office. There’s a department for jobs like this. Bosses don’t qualify.

- About the already mentioned beautiful first meeting, where sparks fly, and the lovely couple can roll off a great start... If Tessa didn’t want to meet anyone why didn’t she lock her door? That’s a pretty easy task. At first I thought maybe there’s no lock on the door. But wait; after the disastrous meeting she locks herself away. “The door is locked, and Grandma has stopped trying to open it.” Sooo there was a lock after all…...okay…….

- Why is almost everyone in this book freckled with blonde hair and blue eyes? Okay, this really is just nitpicking, but like, is there some symbolism in that? *bounces eyebrows* Ehem, if you know what I mean.

- I’m not sure if this is an actual plot-hole but I was really surprised by the lack of anxiety Weston’s approach triggered in Tessa. Essentially, Weston is a stranger at the start of the book, with whom she gets locked into a room, without anyone else in there, when she’s still adjusting to the fact she can’t see. I especially looked out for it; Weston closes her door every time he’s over at their house to speak with her. I mean the first time she’s angry; but what about later? She doesn’t even seem nervous or affected by this at a time when her blindness is still fresh. Yet, when they go to Barnes & Noble, a public space with people around, Tessa is anxious the minute Weston leaves for a bathroom break. Like okay, some strange dude tries to pick her up and she’s rightfully terrified, but all she has to do is call out. Now both of these scenes are pressuring and scary, but where’s the difference? Tessa is nervous when the stranger approaches her in the book store, a big and open space with people around even before said stranger tries to initiate skinship. She tells him to leave her alone. But she did just that when Weston first went to see her. And Weston didn’t give a shit about it, much like the high schooler at the book store. And I’m supposed to believe with Weston she wasn’t apprehensive at all? Of course she wasn’t… he’s the love interest.

The whole book store scene makes me so uncomfortable and NOT because of what you’d think. It’s simply distasteful to create a scenario like that only to draw it back to… yes, you guessed it, Weston. He’s the saviour sweeping Tessa off her feet with “Get your hands off my girl” and chasing away that jerk. Why is it that still, in the year of *looks at smudged handwriting on hand* sometime past the 1890s there’s the need to use The Jerk™ hitting on the girl and The Nice Guy™ saving her by making her seem like his property? Oh did I forgot to mention the jerk smelled like cigarettes, and his pants were falling off his ass. I’m surprised he wasn’t wearing a leather jacket or had piercings just to fit the look to a T. That usage of my girl ...ugrghgh I can already feel white hairs sprouting from this. Look, I’m not against the idea of belonging to your beloved. If you want to say it, cool, do it. But when it’s not consensual, and you’re not a couple who already expressed to one another the wish to be viewed that way maybe DON’T FUCKING USE IT. Not to one up another guy trying scare the baddie away. Man, don’t do that. *channelling my inner LE to rap the last line really loud* What’s even better than this? Tessa’s reaction: “Despite the gravity of the situation, I can’t help but smile and get butterflies all over again.” REALLY???? Please donate braincells to this girl. She really needs it.

The dynamic of relationships.

- This is mind bogging for me. Almost all relations (excluding the most fundamental ones) serve a sole reason: cheer on and make the main couple happen. This book is promoted as a love story, one, not limited to romance. It’s a love story of family bonds, love between brothers, and grandparents, and friends. And that’s true for Weston… but for Tessa??? I don’t think so. But maybe that stems from how underdeveloped Tessa’s character is.

- The main couple’s dynamic is so stilted. Weston basically caused the state he is in, Tessa suffered an accident caused by outer circumstances. She’s the victim of a drunk driver, while quite frankly, Weston’s the victim of his own stupidity. And yet, since Weston decided to fight for himself he expects Tessa to do the same. Now that’s a nice thought, even if it’s about someone you barely know and met maybe two times in your life. Is that a reason to harass the other and tell them what to do, not taking no for an answer? I highly doubt it. Weston wanted to get better so he pressed himself, but he made that choice himself. It’s beautifully written down not once, not twice, but multiple times; how hard it was for him to choose between 1, the easy way––the flat grounded desert and 2, the hard scaling and rocky mountain range. He chose the mountain range and that’s admirable. What’s not admirable is, that from what I get from this book, Tessa never had the luxury of a choice. Because other’s never gave her time or let her decide for herself. Tessa says Weston is stubborn and obnoxiously optimistic. I think he’s just obnoxious, period.

- At the end of the book Tessa narrates how ashamed she feels and how her heart is breaking “Because of what Life has done to Weston.” For one, is Life responsible for what happened to Weston? I’d liked to read about how Weston tells the story of losing his legs to Tessa with a straight face, because all thorough the book he never once did that. To anyone. If that happened, he ought to admit how incredibly stupid he had been. As well as the consequences of his own decisions, every time he went on without saying a word or asking for help. That stubbornness is his character trait. Yes, it is, but we never get to see how that affected his family, there wasn’t one paragraph about his parents talking about it with him.

- On this note why is Tessa always so ashamed, feeling like she’s the brute, saying sorry to everyone at every chance? It’s not like others apologised to her once. This character trait only perpetuates the notion how everything others impose on her is fair trade because they only want to help. And either way, she only feels apologetic about standing up for herself.

Mentions of notable things that annoyed me.

- The judgement if a girl need makeup or not, because *banging pots and pans* she’s beautiful no matter what in the boy’s eyes. And he tells her just that. “Are you wearing makeup?” I ask, without thinking. Tessa smiles just a little. “Yeah,” she says. “Grandma helped me with it. This feels like… a special occasion.” “You don’t need it, you know. You look beautiful without it. But you look beautiful with it, too. You always look beautiful. Even when you’re crying.” Tessa really needed to know your opinion about her wearing makeup Weston. Kudos for you for telling her she doesn’t need it because she looks beautiful without it, but it’s okay to wear it as she looks beautiful with it too. Great input man!

- At this point I’m not even surprised, but there really was the girl staring at something, asking if it’s pretty. (Okay, Tessa couldn’t stare but she was probably imagining––here it’s the sundown, bc of the whole sunlight theme). Then the boy answering, “Yeah, it’s pretty.” Not as pretty as you, he thinks while staring straight at her. Hello, is this a Disney production?

Conclusion.

All in all is this the worst book ever? No. Are there unforgivable problems with it? Not explicitly.

My biggest problem is what message it sends about relationship patterns, patterns I hate with a fiery passion. It’s the same old shit I grew up with, and it’s the same old shit that doesn’t seem to change after twenty years. Not even now when,––with the help of the era of internet––everyone is suddenly so woke. But are they, really? All I saw about this novel is the raving reviews praising it to heavens. And there are themes in it that deserve praise––the acceptance of one’s self, the loss, the forgiveness, the overcoming of hardships of life––but what about all that’s left? What about the execution?

Bottom line is, because this is a book, everything gets resolved and all is happy and fine at the end. However in real life, coercing others to do things against their will isn’t a glorious idea. Disregarding consent isn’t acceptable. Helping with the stubbornness of a mule isn’t really helping. And last but not least, perpetuating a mindset and a budding relationship like the one presented in this book––for a young audience shouldn’t be okay.

#100daysofsunlight #abbie emmons

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