#who needs therapy when you have ramble in tags

[endeverous]

.

[thwispsings]

the idea came to me in a migraine induced dream but now im obsessed with the concept of a mu qingfang who knew the abuse bunhe was going through at the hands of og!shen qingqiu/shen jiu and did his best to treat the kid whenever he could (and bring his concerns to zhangmen shixiong, which were obviously very much ignored) and his constant worry over the situation means that when the qi deviation happens he is suspicious of shen qingqiu’s changes for all different reasons and very much protective of luo binghe -who is a sweet child and an earnest disciple who seems to always find the most incredible medicinal herbs to bring to his mu shishu as thanks for the care bestowed upon him- which means that when the whole shen qingqiu dying thing happens instead of bad mouthing luo binghe or fighting him at every chance he does his best to come over and keep an eye on things to try and help him and make sure luo binghe won’t kill himself trying to bring shen qingqiu back because he remembers that earnest kid and he’s witnessed luo binghe’s devotion to this shen qingqiu first hand and knows there is no way that the kid who cried when ning yingying found a bird with a broken wing and begged mu qingfang to fix it and the kid that would always borrow medical texts and try to find new herb combinations as if it was a game between him and qian cao disciples is actually doing anything nefarious to shen qingqiu’s corpse.

anyways in this essay i will-

[camp-counselor-david]

I was wondering what bugged me about the season 4 Cameron Campbell redemption arc, and I think it finally clicked for me. (And yeah it's 95% David related)

Tw for talks of abuse under the read more.

(Spoiler warning for s3 & 4!)

My relationship (from a character standpoint) with Mr. Campbell is very iffy. He's meant for comedic relief, as is his treatment of David within the series.

Side note- I know that the wolf in "The Forest" being a metaphor for Campbell's abuse of David isn't technically canon even if it's pretty widely accepted by now, so I'll be excluding that part in my analysis.

Mr. Campbell goes through a lot of changes within the series. He starts out as sort of a criminal mastermind type. Self-serving, a blatant scammer, and someone who is seen abusing David in particular many times in the show, physically and verbally. That's not even mentioning the scene in "Jasper Dies in the End," where he attempts to murder a young David for witnessing Jasper's near-death experience. Despite this, David looks up to him and idolizes who he is as a person.

Up until when things peak in season 3, where it's revealed to David that he's not only a terrible person, but he has attempted to frame him for the camp being a scam. Season 3 handles Campbell the best in my opinion, up until the ending of "Camp Corp" where it's decided that Cameron Campbell is more of an idiot than a mastermind, so his new punishment is staying at the camp under David's watch.

Season 4 is where it takes a turn for the worse. As per usual, David is on board with the idea of redeeming Mr. Campbell and places faith in him changing for the better. This didn't bug me until the episode with the escape room where the series begins to explore a different side of Campbell. There, it's revealed that despite how awful as a person he was, he secretly has some type of heart! He still had feelings for the woman he ghosted for 17 years to the point of never once seeing another person in all of that time. Not only does that feel impossible to believe, but given how he acts when he's coming back from the club in "Keep the Change," it feels a lot more like a retcon to me. You're telling me that someone as greedy as him would make such a responsible choice when it comes to any of his personal relationships? In 17 years? While regularly being under the influence of alcohol and other drugs throughout that time period?

It felt like a quick "See? Mr. Campbell isn't actually that bad of a person!" To which I feel is not the right angle to take with his character, at least not so quickly. I understand that characters can have nuance. They can have good traits and still be bad people, but these traits have to line up with what makes sense for the character, and from my perspective, it didn't.

They then change the approach with Campbell and start making him a lot more reasonable of a person in the way he talks. "Time Crapsules" ending with an admittedly nice message from him about change using the camp itself as a metaphor for his own character growth, which becomes apparent in the last prominent Campbell episode, "St. Campbell's Day."

This is the episode that urks me the most. Since the very beginning, David has had full faith in Mr. Campbell. He spent time making excuses for him and going out of his way to prove that change is really possible. But (spoilers, sorry!!) then this episode features the very first time that David stands up against Mr. Campbell. He sees the fake holiday that he's making for presumably self-serving reasons and decides that Campbell is showing his old patterns again-- because why else would he make up a holiday revolving around making money?

David ruins the holiday by stealing the holiday supplies and reporting him to the presses as a con artist. Then, the show reveals that David was overreacting, and this was really pushed by the campers rather than Campbell himself. They wanted to raise funds for the camp to get new things like the outhouse, and David feels bad. Afterward, there's a happy moment where David apologetically fixes everything with the help of Gwen and QM, which is admittedly very sweet, and Mr. Campbell forgives David for jumping the gun and assuming the worst.

While I don't hate this, it just rubs me the wrong way that the one time David stands up against Campbell, he's punished by the narrative. He apologizes to Mr. Campbell, a thing that Campbell never properly does for David, the one who actually deserves it.

This episode could have been a good opportunity for there to be some reflection on how David, who vouched ceaselessly for his redemption, might have some mixed feelings on his abuser. Exploring this side of things more would have made this a better episode and overall a better arc for me rather than "Silly David!! You've ruined the one good thing he tried to do!".

The concept of David wanting to be happy about the changes but finding that part of him guiltily thinks that Campbell doesn't deserve it is something I really wish they explored a lot more.

The tl;dr of this is that the Mr. Campbell redemption arc isn't a bad angle to shoot for! Some of it was handled decently, but the loose ends that we'll likely never see wrapped up leave a sour taste in my mouth. A few kind moments don't make up for around 14 years of abuse, and that's not even mentioning the death of Jasper as a consequence of Campbell's actions.

I love this show a lot, and this is by no means hateful towards it, I just feel a little put off by how they handle the Campbell-David stuff.

[skyteglad]

the desire for people to stop diagnosing their abusers with stigmatized disorders when they are literally not a psychologist and most abusers literally do not care about psychology or therapy at all 😩 they don’t care about getting help, so how do YOU know they have this disorder without using stigma as a basis?

[polaroidcats]

had to explain fanfic and tumblr to my therapist today so that was fun lol

[catalystnick]

I love Vic.

[glitchinginhyperfixis]

i think about summoning the courage to dm my moots and then i remember 1) im terrible at socializing and 2) i hate tumblr messaging bc i always have to go out of dms to actually be able to see the newest one and it glitches

[kinardsboy]

Prefacing this by saying i don’t hate Eddie or buddie in any way, im only tagging this as anti buddie so people can filter out criticism on a ship that they enjoy ❤️

This post doesnt really have a specific theme, I’m just kinda rambling here so bear with me lol

Something that has been bothering me for a while about the gay eddie hc, is that at least the canon basis/evidence for it, is honestly a little homophobic? Most often people claim he’s gay because of how he treats women poorly and how many failed relationships he’s been in and I just.. first off have you MET a straight man?? 😭 thats how they are..(For the most part). Secondly it’s a negative stereotype that gay men dont treat women well, so having that be one of your main points to make Eddie gay rubs me the wrong way, especially when it comes from non queer men. The other main point I see is the quote “it feels like a performance” but the thing about that quote is , its taken extremely out of context.

He was literally talking about being set up on dates, being FORCED to date instead of letting it happen naturally. Thats what feels like a performance.

I have never understood why Eddie also cant be bisexual if queer at all. he has been clearly shown to enjoy having sex with women.

And another thing that bothers me is that buddie fans shout all the time about wanting whats best for Buck, and then want him shoved in a relationship with a man that has never treated a romantic partner fairly. Again, this isnt Eddie hate but the guy needs serious therapy. He’s a good friend and a good dad, ultimately hes a good person too but he’s not a good partner and that wouldnt change just because he dates Buck.

Bob’s are constantly forcing a heteronormative role onto Buck, especially when it comes to taking care of Christopher and it just, thats not going to solve anything? Like at all? It really makes me feel like they dont understand mlm relationships at all, and what they look like and how they work, especially based on their reactions to how Tommy and Buck interact.

People probably arent going to like this take, but I see fics or posts that constantly put Christopher as Buck’s 1 priority and I just dont think its true. Dont get me wrong I really enjoy the relationship they have, but if any kid on the show has his highest priority, its Jee. Buck spends so much time with Chris because Eddie needs help, if Henren needed help or babysitting more often Buck would seem close to Denny and Mara as well. Im not saying Buck doesnt care or want to hang out with Chris of course, but I feel like people definitely overplay their relationship to an extreme extent. The same goes for buddie in general, especially these last few seasons I dont see buck and Eddie being any closer than eddie and hen or buck and hen or something. Especially considering in 704 Eddie literally didnt invite him to trivia which he knows (or should know) Buck likes lol

And another thing about Christopher is that they turn him into this buddie love child who is SO obsessed with his dad’s sexuality and its just so weird to me. They completely strip him of any independence and personality and turn him into this buddie advocate, and then put him away when he’s no longer useful or needed. Its ableism. Chris is his own character and his story shouldnt focus around Buddie or his dads romantic endeavors AT ALL.

Anyway if you read all of this thanks for indulging my rambling lol

[animementrash]

AOT Veterans red flags Pt.1

Characters: Levi Ackerman, Erwin Smith, Hange Zoe

Tags: headcanons, implied established relationship, annoying things I think they would do, they/them pronouns for Hange <3

A/N: Listen, I don't know about you but I can't enjoy anything without trying to find something bad about it No wonder why I've been in therapy for 4 years, so this is me trying to find annoying things they would do when in a relationship. I will also post the cute/nice things version soon, so don't worry! :p

Levi Ackerman:

Will snap at you when mad. Even if you manage to get him to date you and even if he really loves you, when he’s mad, he doesn’t make exceptions on anyone and will most likely snap at you if you’re nearby or if you’re the reason he’s upset.

Will give you the cold shoulder after arguing. He may be a strong and composed man but most definitely lacks of some emotional intelligence so if you have a fight his first response is to back out and ignore you until he’s sorted his mind. It may be hours, days or even weeks until he starts reaching out to you normally.

Will never admit he’s wrong. Following with the arguing theme, if you guys are fighting about something he is wrong about, he will rather leave you talking to yourself than to admit he’s wrong. He may reach out to you and admit it afterwards but will never do it at the moment you’re arguing.

Will expect you to adapt to his lifestyle and not the other way around. He’s been very independent since a young age and his lifestyle is ruled by very specific ideals and schedules, which means he will most likely expect you to understand and adapt to said rhythm instead of asking for your way of doing things or even try to adapt to yours.

Will not “get out of his shell” for you. He’s a very reserved, quiet and simple man; no, he will not eventually start to like going out and meeting new people and no he will not suddenly change his attitude to be a friendly sunshine just because you’re like that or you want him to be like that. He is who he is and will not change for anyone, take it or leave it.

If he must choose between Erwin or you, he will choose Erwin. This isn’t even a question for him, and it’s not even an Eruri kind of thing, it’s just that for the most part of his life his only reason to keep going has been Erwin’s ideals, the only constant in his life has been Erwin and for him to choose something or someone else above that is almost impossible.

Will not like the things you like just to make you happy. If you like drinking coffee instead of tea it’s alright for him, but don’t expect him to start liking it too just because you offered him a cup. Also, if you are a social person and love to go out and befriend everyone, he will not stop you but won’t go out of his way to be friendly either.

Will most likely ignore you if he gets too overwhelmed. He will not do it on purpose or without a warning but if he’s tired and you keep on rambling about something that may not necessarily be interesting to him, he won’t hesitate on asking you to stop talking or to let you know he’s not interested.

Erwin Smith:

King of gaslighting. Erwin is such a great strategist, he’s smart and analytical, of course he will find a way to make you believe you were wrong when arguing even if he’s actually the one who messed up.

Will neglect the relationship more than expected. Whether you’re dating or married, you really should understand the role he plays inside the walls. He is the Commander of the scouting legion and will almost always be drowning in work, he may not like to do it but will sometimes put aside your relationship for the sake of his job, even if this makes you upset.

Won’t tolerate too much bs. Another practical man who’s been alone most of his life and already has everything figured out the way it works for him. If he dates you and you start to try to change his way of living or his routines, he will break the relationship without hesitation. He needs someone as mature and practical as him who will understand him without fussing about trivial things.

Will flirt and court other ladies if needed. I previously posted a HC about Erwin knowing he’s handsome and using that to his advantage sometimes and I firmly believe he would keep doing so even after he is in a relationship, he may not go all the way and cheat on you for the sake of the scouts but will probably accept an invitation to dinner or a flirty kiss on the cheek if he knows that can be beneficial to the legion. He isn’t trying to make you jealous or upset you, but don’t expect him to pass on an opportunity if the time is right.

King of mansplaining. He does not do it on purpose, I promise. But very often he will explain the most basic thing to you as if you were a toddler who just learned how to talk. He will also use that slow and condescending voice when explaining things that makes your blood boil.

Is a very jealous partner. Yes, he may flirt with a lady on a ball but that’s just because it’s for the sake of the scouts; your sweet greeting to that seller at the market isn’t saving the world so why do you need to greet him in such way?

Will leave to expeditions without saying goodbye. This behavior may appear only the first two or three times after you get together, this man is afraid of dying outside the walls and leave you waiting for him forever, so what does his smart yet dumb brain tells him to do? Leave without saying goodbye. that way if he does come back, he can always apologize and if he doesn’t, well, hopefully you’re too mad at him to notice he didn’t make it back home this time.

Hange Zoe:

Will prioritize their projects above anything. And yes, that includes you. If you’re expecting them to push everything away and come running to you just because they’ve been secluded in that office for too long, think again. Because they won’t.

Does not understand boundaries at all. Oh, you’re sleeping after a tiring shift? Don’t care, come look at this cool rock I found. Do you have an irrational fear of titans? Close your eyes, I will show you something so cool you will forget you fear them! (They will take you to see a real titan up close).

Will look down at you if you don’t understand them. They will constantly ramble about things that sometimes may be too complicated to understand, and if you dare to tell them that, they will stop talking and go find “someone who’s smart enough to understand”.

Hygiene isn’t their priority. They will run and hug you even if they just came back from training and they’re sweaty and smelly. Your clothes will never be clean again because they will randomly wipe their hands on whatever surface is near and, sadly for you, that will be you most of the time. “No, I don’t need to shower just yet, I did it a few days ago”

Will zone out when you’re talking. This isn’t necessarily their fault; they are just so invested on that new formation they suggested for the next expedition and can’t stop thinking about it that your childhood story about that bruise isn’t worth the time.

Will steal food from your plate without asking. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were saving that piece of meat as your last bite, it seemed so delicious that I thought I’d take it before it went cold”.  “What do you mean it’s disgusting if I put my hand on your soup? I just wanted to fish that tiny potato and eat it!”.

[jiminjamms]

sex therapy :: 19. open up

chapter tags/warnings: dad! toji. angsty! megumi. strong language. classism. infidelity. manipulative undertones. naoya sucks ass.

word count: 3.6k

notes: thank you for waiting for this update! i was taking exams for some work-related licenses and started my big girl recently. i've also added more chapters to this series because i underestimated when i first planned out the fic. likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated. enjoy! xoxo

fic masterlist | 01. 02. 03. 04. 05. 06. 07. 08. 09. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33.

“Can...we talk?” 

At first, Toji blinked.  

Naturally, he wasn’t sure how to react to such a situation: his client, who he had assumed avoided him for weeks, now standing at his apartment door? This was new.

He didn’t quite understand how or why you ended up here at this hour, but he forced a worried smile. “Yeah, of course, we can talk.”  

When you first tried to speak, your voice only came out as a hoarse croak. So you had to clear your throat, and you forced words to come out again. 

“I’m sorry,” you managed to eke out.  

“Sorry?” Toji raised a brow in surprise. “For what?”  

Hesitating, you bit gently at your inner cheek. “If I tell you, can you please promise me you won’t get mad? Or judge me? I’m just...looking for someone to talk to, and I really, really need you to promise me.” 

In hindsight, that was a stupid question because you both knew that listening was his job, his profession, his field of expertise. Even with the minimal information Toji had gathered in these few seconds, he probably began piecing together your story on his own already. He was good like that—that was what made him your therapist, so there was no need to sugarcoat anything when he already read right through you. 

Still, Toji eased you with a sturdy nod. “Sure. I promise.” 

You didn’t even know where to start in this apology, frankly. You were sorry for doubting him, sorry for ignoring all the red flags he had pointed out about your husband Naoya Zenin. In the end, you were sorry for being so fucking stupid.  

The first time Toji had warned you about Naoya, you should have listened. Toji was the expert here, so how blind could you have been? There was nothing like the crushing realization when you realized for yourself that winning your husband back was nothing more than a pipe dream.  

Far before marrying you, Naoya had long loved someone else. Sure, ‘love’ may be a strong word, but why else would Naoya never want to be home? He could hardly find interest in you and became revolted when looking your way. He must have felt so wrong, so immoral, when cheating on his side-girlfriend for his wife.  

The way Naoya had spoken to you tonight just rubbed salt into the wound. Just shut up. Know your boundaries. Because you were just, in his words, a fucking ornament.  

His mistress sure wasn’t, though, and anyone could place the winning bet that he had gone off to spend the night with her.  

Why were you not enough? 

Was it because she was pretty and you were ugly? That she was smart and you were dumb? That she was funny and you were dull? Just...why? What was the reason? 

And, through thick swallows and blinked-back tears, you told Toji all of that.  

In one gusto, you have once again dumped all your troubles upon his shoulders. A horrible person, that was what you were—and knowing this, your gaze stayed low.  

From your rambling onslaught, Toji must be processing a lot but gave away no emotional indication. From his years at work, he probably had heard it all. 

You waited for Toji to retort with a pompous ‘I told you so!’ or burst into a disdainful laugh—that was how Naoya would have responded. But those reactions never came.  

On the contrary, Toji tapped his chest. “Come here.”  

You frowned over at him, brushing a stray tear from your chin. “What?” 

“Just get over here.”  

When you still wavered with reluctance, Toji pulled you tight against him—one hand firmly pressed against your lower back as the other guided your face to nestle by his shoulder.  

Not expecting this, you were initially stiff and awkward in his arms. Toji’s chest was hard and muscled rather than comfortable, chiseled from his frequent strength training sessions at the gym. But when he began to rub slow circles at your waist with one hand, the other running up and down your back in gentle strokes, something about these little gestures let all your emotions go. 

Slowly, you brought your arms up to wrap around him, hugging him in response. He was warm, his body like a furnace that heated your skin. You curled your hands into tight fists, grabbing the fabric of his T-shirt along with your hold.  

Then, like floodgates bursting, you melted into Toji with a sob.  

“What have I done wrong?” you wailed. “Why can’t I do anything right? What do I even do from here?” 

Toji listened silently as you continued to bawl, releasing all your anger and pain from the terrible weeks that you had endured. He squeezed you the tightest when you sobbed the loudest, comforting you with his ‘there there’ hums. 

“Everything will be okay,” he affirmed eventually, but his words seemed so difficult to believe. 

“No! Everything won’t be okay, Toji,” you cried and shook your head into his neck. “My husband doesn’t want me. Then, if Naoya doesn’t want me, the Zenins wouldn’t want me. Then, no one will want me!” 

“Not true,” Toji was quick to say. He pulled you closer, his large hands patting your upper back too. “Forget Naoya, he’s an utter jerk. He might leave you, but you know who won’t? At the very least, your father won’t—he loves you.” 

“But I would have disappointed him.” 

“How?” he countered sharply. “If he had known how his son-in-law was treating his daughter, why would your father be disappointed in you?” 

Between sniffles, you ruminated his points, half-convinced. 

Toji, breathing out, then added, “Also...I won’t leave you, either. I care about you. There. You’ve already got two on your side. You will not be alone.” 

“But then, what about,” you kept your lips pressed onto his collarbone, “What about the Zenins? Would they turn their backs on me too?” 

Underneath your fingertips, you could feel Toji tensing at the name. “With a family so large, there are bound to be those supporting you as well. You make it sound like all his aunts, his uncles, his...,” he paused briefly, “...his cousins, all worship Naoya when a household like that is rife with drama beneath surface level. Family isn’t family for something like the Zenins. Politics comes first. Business comes first.” 

His answer came out with such confidently that you silently questioned how he could be so sure. 

But you suddenly remembered the kind embraces from Mai and your heart softened at the thought of Maki. 

Maybe Toji was right. 

A soundless sigh flew from your mouth before your arms tightened around Toji's torso, hugging him and resting your chin on his shoulder. After several moments longer, you finally released one long exhale, your tears having stopped and your breathing less erratic. 

Your heart was like lead in your chest, but you pulled your face away from him.  

“I’m sorry,” you rasped, throat raw. “My makeup got onto your shirt.”  

Toji’s smile was soft. 

“That’s fine.” He couldn’t give a damn about his white top. Reassuringly, he ran his hands along your waist before settling on your hips, thumbs rubbing circles into your skin. “As long as you are feeling better, that’s all I need. Besides, that’s my job, yes?” 

“Yes...” you mumbled shyly, wiping tears from your face with the heel of your hand.  

At the sight, Toji reached toward a tissue box behind the door frame.  

“Don’t cry anymore. Naoya isn’t worth the heartache, I’ll guarantee you that.” He dabbed at your pretty face with the napkin in his hands, wiping away not only the remaining tears but also the stream of snot. Lovely. “I am your friend, okay? Before the therapist stuff. We will fix this, together. That’s what friends are for.” 

Friends. 

When Toji first called him your friend, you did not think that he would somehow become your closest confidant. 

You leaned into his touch briefly, sinking into the comfort of his palm. 

“Feeling better, princess?”  

Toji watched you with a chartreuse glimmer in his eyes before you finally pulled yourself from his grasp. His fingers flexed at the lost touch, almost like he was hesitant to let you go, but who was he to stop you? It wasn’t like Toji was your husband or anything. 

"I am,” you replied. “Thank you.” 

“Any time.” He hummed in the ensuing silence before stepping to the side. “Since you’re already here, why don’t you come in? I wouldn’t want you going back like this. Naoya won’t be home, so at least you will have some company here.”  

Tempting. 

“I really shouldn’t stay...” 

“What? Are you sure?” 

No, you were not sure, and Toji sure as hell knew that. 

He lolled his head toward the interior, a few of his black strands sliding across his forehead with the movement.  

“C’mon, I won’t bite,” he reassured before chuckling, “unless...you want me to.” 

You shot the therapist a glare, but the resolve to stay upset faded when you saw him gleam with a wide smirk. Well? that mischievous spark in him seemed to say. What do you think?  

Rolling your eyes, you initially snorted at the offer but could not help smiling at the stupid joke immediately afterward. Your body crumpled forward as you burst into giggles, realizing that this was the first time in weeks that you were...laughing?  

“Fine,” you relented. 

Toji seemed to beam in silent victory, which was cute coming from someone who looked so tough. He swept his arm in a gentle arc toward his apartment. 

“Then, after you, m’lady.”  

You gusYou gushed at the title.

"If you insist,” and you stepped in.  

The warmth from his condo was the first to greet you as though a fireplace had been crackling in the distance. For someone who somehow had the means to afford such a luxurious space, Toji went simple in his furnishings. His cream-colored walls were cleared, save for some framed art pieces that dotted the corridors, and there were no ornate cabinets or dazzling décor. His taste in minimalism and timelessness contrasted with the grandeur in your palatial-like residence, but both styles had their appeal. 

He had a gray and beige color scheme going on with the couches, the tabletops, and the lighting fixtures. The walnut wood flooring added a rustic touch to the apartment, and every corner effortlessly converged refined aesthetics with the sense of home. Even the smell inside was cozy because the apartment emanated of him—of Toji himself: spices with the redolence of bergamot and sage.   

He guided you through a (very wide) hallway that opened into an equally expansive living room. Towards the side was a spiral staircase that led to an upper floor and, further ahead, floor-to-ceiling windows opened to an evening panorama.  

The sky was completely dark, with the sun sunk below the horizon long ago, and the waxing moon hung like a silver sliver far away. Holding your breath, you stepped towards the glass, observing the bustle far below that twinkled like firecrackers against the concrete backdrop.  

“You know, your place...is a lot nicer than I expected.” 

The man tucked his large hands into his front pockets. “I’m offended.”  

Instantly, you grew flustered. “No, I didn’t mean it like that!” (Yes, you totally did.) “It’s just that Sukuna had made it sound like—” That you were dirt poor. “But then Geto said...” Okay, you shouldn’t be dragging more people into this. “Never mind.” 

Quickly, you glanced back outside again, hoping to look like you were distracted by the vista. 

“But then Sukuna and Geto said what?” Toji pried, not letting you live this down. He appeared uncharacteristically intrigued. He wanted to know what his coworkers had spilled, by how much you knew. “What have the other therapists said about me?” 

“Ah, nothing much really,” you confessed, which was the truth to some extent.  

“How much is ‘nothing much?’” 

“Just, well,” you rolled your lips together in thought, “maybe that something, some event, or some person wronged you.” Geto’s words rang fresh in your head. “That ‘Toji just isn’t where he could possibly be.’” 

Half-expectantly, you looked over at the said man from under your lashes, waiting for him to comment on the matter. Toji always appeared so hesitant to talk about his past, but you hoped that he would stop being so mysterious. It was as though he was an enigma for cautious reasons, assessing how much he could open up before he could entirely trust you. 

Toji had pursed his lips as the silence in the living room became uncomfortable. But just when he appeared ready to speak, someone else filled the silence for him. 

“Why the hell are you here?” 

All heads turned to a frowning teenager who stood by the foot of the stairs.  

He had dark eyes—dark eyes glared only at you, narrowed into a violent abyss as though he was mentally aiming daggers into your soul. For a fleeting moment, you were puzzled at who this boy was until Toji spoke first. 

“That’s no way to greet a guest, Megumi.”  

Oh, right. Toji had an eighteen-year-old son, and Megumi was his name. While you had spoken with the teenager on the phone before, it was different to see him in person for the first time. 

For starters, the physical similarities between father and son became immediately apparent. Sure, Toji’s features had a rough edge around them—shaped from his additional years in life—but the two shared the same black stands, pointed noses, and taut lips. There was no denying the flawless genes that flowed between them. 

Megumi, though, had a subtle softness to him. The teenager was smaller and shorter compared to his imposing and rugged father, but he tried to mask that youthful innocence instead with his brash style. He pulled off that ‘wild’ look better than most boys his age could, his hair longer and more tousled. The way he stood in a contrapposto, coupled with how stylish he appeared in his fuchsia tee and black cargo pants, made him look like a model from a streetwear magazine. He reached for an ear piercing with fingers adorned with flashy rings, toying with one particular stud as he examined you.  

Goodness, Megumi Fushiguro was as good-looking as Sukuna had hyped him up to be.  

“Well?” the boy’s irritated voice snapped you back to the present. “What are you doing at our apartment?” 

“Oh, me?” You pointed to yourself. Well, no shit. Who else was he talking to? “I, um—” 

“You’re another one of my dad’s women, aren’t you?” the teenager asked out of the blue, leaving you staring at him dumbly. 

“One of your dad’s who?” 

“Hey!” Toji warned, tone sharp. Frowning at the boy, he reprimanded him with one forceful thwack. Dad Toji was very different than Therapist Toji. “Watch what you—" 

“You’re the one who called me down here!” Megumi shouted back, pushing his father’s arm away.  

“Yes, I did. So what took you ten minutes to get here?” 

“I was in the middle of Valorant. I left my team mid-game but for this?” 

And suddenly, there was this thick and awkward tension that engulfed the room. If you had the magical ability to teleport at will, you would. Toji was obviously distraught at his son’s outburst and Megumi was similarly bristled by your presence.  

About you? Well, there wasn’t anything you could do. 

You took a few steps back. It was unsettling to be caught in a heated confrontation between father and son, and you silently wondered if you should just slip away to let those two sort out their miscommunications. 

“So, this is your new strategy, huh?” Megumi seethed vehemently toward his father, capitalizing upon the silence. “Telling me that Nobara and Yuuji are here only for you to introduce me to, out of everyone in this world, her?!”  

The attack felt personal when Megumi raised his arm and pointed squarely at you, even if the boy glowered at his dad instead. You had frozen, stopped by confusion, as Megumi continued in anger: “What is the meaning of this!” 

Toji, who was returning his son’s glare, glanced at you briefly. He didn’t show this side to him very often: the one where he was just a single dad, handling a moody teenage son at home.  

You wondered if Toji felt weird that you were watching him deal with Megumi’s tantrum. At least, he must be embarrassed that this was how your first encounter with Megumi was going, but he didn’t offer much into his internal dialogue because he clenched his teeth, his eyes sliding slowly to his son again.  

“Megumi,” Toji started, “please...don’t point at people. That’s not nice.” 

His voice was sterner than before, but the boy responded with a dramatic scoff. 

“Nice?!” Megumi repeated. “You want me to be nice to her? Is this some sick joke?!” His face twisted with disbelief. “With all the horrible crap that had happened to us, what good thing has she ever done? Just because she’s pretty, and suddenly, you’ve forgiven her for everything?” 

You blinked, stumped. 

Forgive you? 

Why would Toji need to forgive you? 

Perplexed, you turned to Toji but he did not meet your gaze. 

“There is nothing to forgive her for. She hasn’t done anything wrong,” the older man defended, but Megumi wanted to hear none of this. 

He was out for blood. 

“That’s because you’re too fucking infatuated to see the demon she is,” he huffed, voice laced with bitterness. “Dad, I wish you would put your goddamn brain to use and stop thinking with your dick first.”  

“Language!” Toji snapped with a roar. “She’s our friend!” 

“Friend, my ass! I don’t like your fucking friends!”  

With eyes blown wide, Megumi clenched his fists so tightly that his hands began to shake.  

“I just...I just can’t believe you,” and when his voice cracked, there was pain that bubbled from the frustration. “I already told you that I don’t want to meet whoever you are bringing home. Just stop trying so hard for my sake. This hurts me, and this also hurts you. Can’t you see that, Dad? Nothing’s going to bring Mom back! I’m over that, alright?” His Adam’s apple bobbed when he gulped, though, before he finally added: “And I’m tired!” 

At that, Megumi walked—correction, stormed—away. 

“Fuck this shit,” he spat and marched up the stairs, grumbling more profanities upon his climb. 

The footsteps’ volume started to fade, but not before a loud bang startled you when Megumi slammed his bedroom door shut, the entire apartment seemingly shuddering with the sound. 

Beside you, the Toji that you had always known—the snarky man who always seemed so unruffled by even the wildest moments—crumbled a little when he sighed. He rubbed his face with a free hand, sinking his forehead into his palm as he muttered indiscernibly. 

He collected himself he turned back around to you, but you saw that his shoulders sagged with an invisible weight, the emerald glimmer in his eyes now a dim flicker. Within ten minutes, Toji had grown to look stressed and incredibly tired. 

“Hey,” Toji started, his voice impossibly small for a man as large as him. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Sorry that you had to see that. He’s usually a good kid. I’ll talk to him again later.” 

You bit your lip.  

“Oh, um...Well...That’s okay,” you eventually replied, which was a total lie because that was not okay. Even as you offered a small smile for support, Megumi—his words, his tone, his ferocious glare—slashed at your heart. You rationalized his behavior aloud to ease your own pain. “Megumi’s eighteen, and you know what teenagers are like: hormonal with their mood swings all the time. You are a great father, Toji. This isn’t your fault.” 

“No. This is my fault,” he replied very quickly.  

Oh. So instead you said: “I get it.” 

“Except you don’t get it.”  

Your heart sank at his words, realizing that you truly did not understand where this father-son conflict stemmed from. Was it...was it because of you? 

You never intended to burden anyone, yet your mere existence appeared to be doing just that. 

It was painful to see Toji like this. During your lowest lows, he always offered considerable comfort and renewed confidence, but you weren’t sure what to say to provide him with the same. By some weird twisted fate, Toji now needed you more than you needed him. As a therapist, he had a special soothing effect, and never have you so badly wished for the same. 

“Then,” this time you were more careful with your words, “Then, help me understand. Help me so that I can then help you.”  

Tone resolute, you longed to learn about the unspoken difficulties that Toji had been facing by himself. While you had your troubles, he must have had many more for his son—not even Toji himself—to act this way.  

Perhaps you also cared for him more than you thought because, as he noted himself, he’s your friend. 

Toji held a long inhale, thinking and thinking and thinking, before breathing out in one audible go.  

“Where do I even start?” 

last chapter || next chapter

end notes: I loved fleshing out our relationship with Toji from a channel to mutually release sexual frustrations to a friendship built upon shared vulnerabilities. Also, Megumi is very much in his emo and rebellious teenage era. Like most people his age, he has his reasons…

taglist: @dissociatingdiva @httpsplanetmarsdotcom @nemoyr @huangfairy @shadowarchon @203steph @agentdedf1sh @cloudybabes @hinativity @lynn-writes-things @illicitwriter @7oji @kikuchimi @piqer @nobody289x @chaoticjojofan​ @musicisme333 @vvestwoodrose @kumocchin @s-guru @mwahilovemylife @hey-gurls69 @cloudsinthecosmos @moon-mumu-moon @kazscara @obitohno @skilerfrostfairy @funicidals @nico707 @proteovaldez @tsukiyohanayome @marimoares @qirbys @moodpi @blackdragoncigarette @puffaloxx @shoisae @sakanoshitaa @arizzu @kissditrio @tokyometronetwork​ @downtown-roponggi​ @the-cosmos-network

[wildlife4life]

WIP Wednesday

Tagged by the always amazing @rogerzsteven (new fic drop!) @ebdaydreamer @bidisasterbuckdiaz (new fic drop!) @theotherbuckley @wikiangela @daffi-990 and @tizniz (new fic drop!) Thank you all so much and go check out their works!

Doing this on my lunch break, so dropping this snippet from NFL Buck real quick! Hope ya'll enjoy! All things NFL Buck.

It’s their second date after getting back together, after Eddie had attended his first session of therapy and his mind had been whirling, stuck on one particular question. It took him until the main course was served to finally ask, “When did you know?” Evan pulls his hungry gaze from his steaming plate of lasagna to look at Eddie in confusion, “Um, I told you about this place and their lasagna like a week ago and if I recall you-“ “No, not when you knew what you wanted for dinner. Jesus Christ, we really need to take a closer look at your meal plan with how often good food is on your mind.” Eddie snarks. Buck shrugs, unaffected by Eddie’s bitchy remark, “Well now you know the way to my heart.” Then winks. Flustered at his boyfriend’s shameless flirting, Eddie sputtered and flushed.  “You-Evan-you are just-“ The college quarterback chuckled and reached across the table to take Eddie’s hand, “God you are so easy to rile up, its adorable.” He gives his hand a squeeze three times and ducks his head to meet Eddie’s dropped gaze, “Just tell me what you meant. When did I know what?” Eddie sucks in a breath then pushes it out and puts his entire focus on Evan, “When did you know you were bi-sexual?” His boyfriend’s eyes go slightly wide, but he doesn’t look away and the grip on Eddie’s hand tightens, “What-um, what brought this on?” He asks. “Therapy.” Eddie responded, dropping his voice to a lower volume, “I brought up our date to Frank and he steered the conversation into the whole sexual identity and near the end, he told me I should hear other queer stories and that’ll help give me a better understanding of… well who I am.” “That makes a lot of sense. Seeing and hearing others in the community, helps makes sense of the world and shows that you are not alone.” Evan nods in understanding, “So, it’s not just the when of it all, but how too?” “Yea, yea. But you – you don’t have to tell me any of it. Frank pointed out that no one, not even you, owes me their story. I just… Well, I feel really comfortable and safe with you, and I hope it’s the same with me for you. You know? And I always want to know more about you, and this is a part of it. Also, it’s just so- “ “Hey, hey, hey. Eddie. You’re rambling. Which is my thing.” Buck cuts in, giving Eddie a chance to suck in break in his word spew. The younger man chuckles, “Going give me quite the complex directing all this at me.” “I’m sorry.” Eddie breaths out, gripping Evan’s hand tighter. “No apologies needed. Seriously. I am really honored, because I do feel comfortable and safe with you and I am so fucking ecstatic that you do as well.” ‘I feel like I could give you, my heart.’ Eddie thought but doesn’t voice the words. It’s too soon, he just got Evan back, and he’s just beginning to untangle the mess that was his mind and life. Instead, he says, “Me too.” He eases his grip and begins to play with Buck’s fingers, “So you’ll tell me?”

Getting some backstory of the boys and yes a version of Tommy is a part of it.

Tagging (no pressure): @spotsandsocks @diazsdimples @dangerpronebuddie @hippolotamus @jesuisici33 @try-set-me-on-fire @devirnis @bi-buckrights @exhuastedpigeon @cal-daisies-and-briars @rainbow-nerdss @watchyourbuck @perfectlysunny02 @aroeddiediaz @loserdiaz @fortheloveofbuddie @lemonzestywrites @evanbegins @bi-buck-coded @glorious-spoon @thekristen999 @sunshinediaz @ladydorian05 @lover-of-mine @hoodie-buck @elvensorceress @bucksbiawakening @giddyupbuck @bekkachaos @thewolvesof1998 @eddiebabygirldiaz @spaceprincessem @bibuckbuckley @honestlydarkprincess @doublecheekeddiaz @prosperdemeter2 @nmcggg @monsterrae1 @missmagooglie @bigfootsmom @911onabc @911-on-abc @smilingbuckley

[zeebreezin]

OC SMASH OR PASS

Tagged by @esteemed-excellency !!

First image by @gmalaart ! Other two by me :)

Name: August Shaw

Age: 44~

Gender: Nonbinary but he’s getting revenge rn and doesn’t have time to consider that

Sexuality: Bisexual

📚Propaganda For:

You will never find a more dedicated partner!!

Very generous, great gift giver who will give you the world if you asked.

Surprisingly witty sense of humor once he’s comfortable with a person.

Enjoys both the fancy displays of formal romance and quiet nights in the house.

Will kill cops for you frequently.

Easy to fluster!!

Will learn about your hobbies and take interest in them.

Gives fantastic hugs.

Can be charming in a sweet, classically romantic way.

Open and honest communicator*.

Canonically spent all his Monstrous Anatomy on gains on modifying his tongue, mouth, and throat to help with speaking nonhuman languages. So in the bedroom…

♟️Propaganda??:

Flirtation is a lowkey game to him. Fluster Shaw badly and expect to receive the same in kind soon enough. Will get ‘revenge’. Switchiest motherfucker ever known because of this.

Will set himself on fire to keep you warm.

Is more than happy to play a ‘role’ for his partners, but his dedication to the bit can get uncanny.

Has a bit of a possessive streak, less so in the way of wanting someone to exclusively want him, though.

Known sleep cuddler. Supernatural forces seem to intervene to make sure his partners wake up with their nose in his chest.

Oh yeah, the juxtaposition between how cold and ruthless this guy is at work versus how tender he is with his partners.

👁️Propaganda Against:

God where do we start.

Baseline nightmare of 5 at any given day.

IPA-itis :(

Takes such bad care of himself, all the time. If you don’t step up he may work himself into the dirt.

The guiltiest man alive!! Will hold self blame for any conflict! Takes him ages to forgive himself for any transgression, even ones verbally resolved.

Concerningly forgiving of his partner’s flaws and behaviours, to the point of enabling and/or self destruction on his own end.

Tends to drink a bit too much, extremely sad drunk.

*is a great communicator when it comes to things he thinks need to be talked about. His own issues tend to stay under lock and key for far too long.

Constantly getting into shit. Will always make the time, but he does work two jobs and freelances on top of it. A busy man.

Wild complexes about his own desires, poetry, violin music, and the colour red.

Not 100% over his ex wife emotionally but they’re never getting back together.

Consider yourself tagged if you wanna do one of these :)

[jacedified]

things i cant stop thinking about !!

most of this is going to imperium related so enjoy my brain turning mwah

also pls ignore my mid sentence rambling i have a serious problem

warnings: gore/mentions of death , violence , imperium , swearing :D , adult with internet access cant shut up

- yandere caller being a shade

(someone said this on a hc list and now im actively running with it)

- sams eyes being brown

(as a brown eye haver i know he misses them dearly and i wnna give him the worlds sweetest biggest longest hug)

- the idea of gavin “slicing” peoples threads for kody in imperium

(forcing my husband ((i need therapy im married to a fictional incubus)) to do such acts simply because you want to you sick freak ILL FUCKING KILL U- oh wait gavin already did xoxo kiss my ass from hell kody)

- the look on kodys face at the end of it all

(as previously stated i wanted that man dead.. i just wanna make sure hes actually gone yknow)

- what asher’s smile looked like when him and david were together (imperium)

(knowing that david was gone, hearing the random audience member asking for david to be alive and left alone in the first imperium video, knowing they were mates, knowing how heartbroken asher was after his death i just wanna see them happy maann ((it feels criminal to use emojis on tumblr)) 😭😭)

- if lasko calling freelancer “my dear” when you first met him in the haven was a sneak peek for his later ((is the word prime for like normal redacted universe characters i can’t remember, like prime lasko yada yada)) listeners name

- if no one was watching gavin WOULD HE HAD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF IMP!HUXLEY???

(the amount of shit talking hux did when freelancer and gavin first get to the haven had me ready to fight in an instant ((it mightve just been my overwhelming adoration for gavin but still)) like he was acting like an annoying jock who gets a job as security for some fuck ass rich university and thinks hes on top of the world like dont piss me off huxley or damien gets it in the other universe so help me god)

- is anyone else as attracted to the tension between vincent and asher in imperium as i am..

(i have no words for how “yippee kicking my feet happy smiley kiss now kiss now what if u kissed rn” i was when asher and vincent are talking but also i feel like pet ((is that vincents listeners name or vegas I CANT REMEMBER PLS)) was behind a door listening in and getting jealous bc “that should be me holding your hand..”

… excuse the outburst)

- vampire milo.. thats all

(GAWD hes so hot like he always is and always has been but jesus FUCKING christ theres something about him having been a vamp did something to me that i cant even explain)

- what was avior saying to lasko to make him irritated with him..

(i mean yeah hes a yapper but i feel like it was just “hey we need help down here” and lasko rolling his eyes and waiting two weeks before actually doing anything)

- WHERE TF IS ELLIOT WHERE TF IS SUNSHINE CAN I BEAT BLAKES ASS??

- what would have happened had milo not broken the ward

(again someone else mentioned this ((i would tag them but it was 6hrs ago and i was just scrolling and reading)) and now i cant stop thinking about it)

- what is avior hearing in his last video

(its been a while since ive actually listened to aviors playlist again but there was a voice or sounds he was hearing after getting out of the meridian and its just been on my mind)

- gavin having a myspace account

(he would love myspace i just know he would and i feel like he’d be an avid tumblr user but like its just him posting his favorite pics of himself from the week and updates on whatever small pet him and freelancer would very obviously inevitably get bc he saw it in a pet store or on the street and couldnt resist)

- what happens when freelancer gets old..

(freelancer is just that.. a freelancer. they arent a vamp, or a demon, or even some secret third thing.. what happens to them and gav when they get old. have they had that talk yet? i shouldnt think about this bc it makes me spiral into a bucket of tears and sadness bc its the same thing with sam and darlin’ like we wont know what theyll do when their partners get old and they are still young and immortal.. sigh 😔)

- can i cut the meridian open with a knife if i tried?

(how thin is the meridian? how easy is it to access? how long would it take me to literally stab it open? ((i have serious issues)) )

- imp!damien..

(yea i have a crush on him or whatever nothing crazy)

- is the person asher catches in imperium baabe or is it just random listener #18683 ?

(obviously my first thought when i listened to imperium like a year ago i thought baabe nd asher would be together ((i was delusional and on an asher high)) but then when it was revealed that he and david were mates in that universe did that mean baabe just doesnt exist or are they the person that gets caught by him or again some secret third thing)

- what happens to angel in the mess that is imperium, honestly what happens to all the shaw pack listeners

(obviously sweetheart is left out of this equation bc them and milo are still happily obsessed with each other in every universe BUT angel, baabe, and darlin where yall at??)

- WHERE ARE THE AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EMPATHY DEMONS IN IMPERIUM UNIVERSE??

(this just popped into my mind but WHERE IS MY SON?? what have u done with my son WHERE IS MY SON??!!?)

- is anyone else as obsessed with just erik and his mind?

(that handsome blessing to my youtuber universe.. i could listen to him babble for hours and will do so bc it feeds my “listening to nerdy man babble on abt his fixations” quota)

- what imperium versions of characters do people prefer over their counterparts

(personally i prefer imp! huxley, damien, and vincent over their prime versions ((still dont know if im using the term prime in the right context)) idk what it is but well i know what it is for huxley and damien but we dont need to get into why i dont like hux and dames rn :D but for vincent i just like seeing a different version of him i think.. hes so confident with his decisions, and knows what he wants in imperium i just want that for regular vince too.. sigh)

uhh anyways.. i think thats enough thinking for now, going back to sleep

stay safe out there

[cemoras27-but-writing-this-time]

Danny's Evil Jaunt Pt. 3

(this is the chapter but I have work soon so I will tag everyone later a swell as links) @little-pondhead @im-totally-not-an-alien-2 (you two get tagged because your the big inspirations :D

warnings: swearing

Word count: 1.3k

Let it be known that Fright Knight loves his job. It's literally why he still exists. He exists to serve the King of the Infinite Realms and stand as the embodiment of Halloween and similar celebrations. That said, he feels conflicted as he gazes at the mechanical husk his future king shows off. 

Compared to a normal mortal, its stature was massive. Though for Fright Knight it was about equal height, possibly a little smaller. The inspiration was clear and a little flattering. The metal was shaped into a stylized Fright Knight, complete with a (mundane) sword.

He eyes his king as the Halfa clings to its arm. He rambled about how he was planning on taking the husk to a pocket that was populated with heroes with him to guard him, and how he wanted Fright Knight to help with ‘teaching it how to do those cool sword moves you do Frighty!’.

Has his king replaced him?!?! No, surely not! There's no way this heap of scrap could ever compare! He had been around for CENTURIES while this thing hadn't even existed an hour ago! The king still had his hands inside it making adjustments yet!

“My Liege! Please forgive any misgivings about this… thing, but may I know the purpose of such a creation? You said that it was for protection yet I am here.”

His king turned his head towards him, arms still hidden within the side of the imposter. “His name is Fright-bot, and he's gonna keep the heroes off me while I work! They get annoying when you're trying to do some welding and all of a sudden you have like three arrows comin’ at ya real fast.” the young Halfa finally pulled his glove clad hands out of the monstrosity.

“He's also for keeping my other works safe, that's why I need him first. I’m thinkin’ of keeping most of my bots in my ‘therapy’ dimension that Clocky showed me for convenience, and they need a guard! But I can't just have you away to protect them! You need to do head guard stuff! I know you want to protect me and stuff but I can’t just let you just out in the living world with me all the time!” the king continued as he slid the siding back onto the almost finished robot. “Besides! It's kinda like you're protecting me from afar! Since it’ll be your techniques and stuff. I just gave it a body and Tuck helped me with the learning algorithm stuff so you can teach it.” his legs finally released his hold on the beings arm, dropping into a handstand and falling back onto his feet upright.

The flaming kight considered this. While it’s true that he can’t always accompany his king (as much as he would like to) it would be nice to have some assurance that the King would be safe. Perhaps he could convince the King into some sort of deal…?

Well Danny could say that he’s extremely happy with the events that happened at the castle! He and Frighty came to a deal finally! Frighty would teach Fright-bot how to fight and stuff but Danny would have to put in a built-in alarm system that notified Frighty that something bad was happening, so he could come in and save Danny’s day. Overall pretty good! Now to start working on those blueprints, he was so excited!

‘Ok, who gave the kid permission to build huge robots?’ Oliver thought as he saw the Fenton kid perched on top of the mecha-knight looking thing, and pulled back on his bow. Just as he released the arrow the thing’s head swiveled around like an owl and caught the damn thing! The kid looked up at Ollie and smiled.

“HI MISTER ARROW!! HOW HAVE YOU BEEN?” the kid shouted at him and jumped off the robot. Oliver sighed and readied another shot but was forced off his rooftop position by the purple knight.

“Who's your friend there, kid? He looks like the wrong kinda crowd,” the kid’s grin grew wider as he unfolded that damn cannon and attached it to a slightly glowing tank on his thigh.

“Do Ya like ‘im?! I built him myself, his name is Fright-Bot!” The fanged grin of the kid did not get any less unsettling as the newly dubbed ‘Fright-bot’ landed next to Fenton again.

“Uh uh, real nice kid. Why don’t you calm down and give up for today, yeah?” Oliver made sure to keep the knight within his sight. It honestly looked like it could snap someone in half.

“Hmm? Ahh.. I don't think so Mr.Arrow, I worked really hard on Fright-bot and I wanna see how I can make him better y’know! I promise I’ll keep the damage to a minimum!”

“You have your fingers crossed behind your back, don’t you.”

“What nooo… I would never lie Mr. Arrow, it's very hurtful that you would even CONSIDER that I would do such a thing. I believe you owe me an Ice cream now!”

“Kid, there was a snowstorm yesterday. And I don’t think you need any sugar.” The bow pulled back and the Knight rushed.

It wasn’t a fair fight in the slightest, Ollie was out numbered and the goo that was glowing a slight blue-green did not help. Especially with the still slick roads, so it was only a matter of time before his legs were stuck to the concrete. Frozen actually, the goo turned into weird ice. Fenton had the big guy grab his arms while the kid himself searched his body, eventually finding his wallet. The one he brought on patrol in case he got a bit hungry. Guess he was really buying the kid ice cream after all.

“14..15..16..21. Nice! You think it’ll cover it Fright-bot? I don’t know the prices but I think it’ll be enough. You watch Mr. Arrow for me! I’ll be back soon I promise!” and like that the kid expertly glided over the iced roads and into the Ice cream parlor. To be fair to the kid, the Ice cream here was kinda expensive.

While the kid was gone Oliver tried to escape from the Ice and the robot, but neither were budging. Well until Roy came up and stabbed the focused robot in the back, somehow causing it to malfunction and release Ollie’s arms. It fell to the ground with a heavy thud as Fenton came out of the parlor. 

“Oh no! HEY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!” Fenton screeched. Then released a guttural groan and whine. “Come onnnn…. I still had an hour left! And now I have to leave EARLY!” he honest to god pouted at the two vigilanties. 

Then a lazarus green swirling mass opened in between the opposing parties and out stepped another Fright-bot, this time with a much more intimidating demeanor. This one was bathed in purple fire and held a sword covered in green flames that gave off the feeling of nightmares. 

“MY KING! I RECEIVED THE ALERT AND CAME AS SOON AS I COULD'' it bellowed. Shaking the ground around them.

King? What, did Fenton make them refer to him as King? That felt weirdly out of character for what they had seen so far. 

“Frighty! You were just WAITING outside weren’t you!” Fenton yelled at the knight. The knight didn’t take his eyes off the two perceived threats. And picked up Fenton by the scruff of his coat.

“My King! I knew we couldn’t trust your safety with that pile of metal! Only I- FRIGHT KNIGHT, is worthy of protecting you! NOW YOU TWO. YOU ARE HEREBY GUIL--” the knight spoke and was cut off by Fenton. 

“We get it Frigty! Just.. Can you grab the Fright-bot and just take us home please… I told you this was a trial run to see how to improve him!” the child pleaded. The knight stared forward for a few moments before sighing and coming forward, yanking Oliver out of the Ice and flinging Roy and him out of the way. Then picking up the lifeless metal and carrying Fenton away through another swirling portal where it closed behind them seconds after they were out of sight. 

“Hey Arrow, what the FUCK was that?”

“A massive pain in the ass that keeps getting bigger”

[steviewashere]

A Relief

Rating: General CW: Whole Thing is About Bipolar Disorder, Mention of Taking Medication for Mental Health Tags: Post-Canon, Mild Angst (so mild you barely taste it), Comfort, Mental Health, Steve Harrington Has Bipolar Disorder, Steve Harrington Goes to Therapy, No Actual Therapy Session Depicted, Relief, Steve Harrington Needs a Hug, Steve Harrington Gets a Hug, Pre-Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington's Friendship, Robin Buckley Goes to Therapy, (But that's sort of background here), Roommates Pairings: Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington & Eddie Munson, Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson (Pre-Relationship)

Based on experience. And also this is such a half-assed thing, but I'm fighting my way out of a really low point right now and I will not let myself succumb, so. <3

🫂—————🫂 The therapy was his choice. He’d hear about it from time to time; mostly from Max and Nancy showcasing how it’s really helped them process grief from the last decade or so. But it had never been something he was entirely intrigued by. There were unsettled issues he had, that he was one hundred percent aware of. But a guy going to therapy? That seemed as folklore as Bigfoot disappearing behind trees.

It wasn’t until Robin began to go that he was convinced.

“She walked me through these breathing exercises, Steve,” she had murmured late one night. They were living just outside of Chicago at the time. He was twenty-six, no longer baby-faced and finally settled in what was normalcy for him. She was just a year younger. Still talkative and mouth far away from her brain, but the way she began to carry herself in the middle of that year—things were changing and Steve began to realize why. “I’ve never felt so calm. So…in tune with my own brain. For once, it felt like the world wasn’t going to end with every sentence I spoke. Who knew that there was mellow under all my marsh?”

He snorted at that. “Don’t tell me this is the end of Robin’s Ramblings.”

“Stevie, Stevie, Stevie,” Robin had tutted. “You and I both know that that’s going to continue regardless. Maybe it’ll be like torture now since I’ll be all slow about it.” There was a slow lull of silence. Then, realizing what she had just said, Robin hissed. “Too soon?” They had cackled themselves into a new noise compliant from their downstairs neighbor—and Robin, in that way that she does, convinced him to try therapy out.

It wasn’t until a few years later that he’d go. Both due to insurance reasons and his impoverished motivation. But he was going now, that’s what’s most important.

There was a certain doe-like awkwardness to therapy, he was realizing. He was walking into his appointment with shaky legs and leaving with the first few bumps of his antlers coming in. Sometimes, he went having shaved his antlers down. And other times, they remained. Steve thought that by this session, what had to have been his seventh or eighth time, that he’d stop realizing new things about himself, his family, the growing up before the apocalyptic growing up.

“Your lore,” so Eddie had eloquently put it.

That was a new thing, too. With these last few years brought on a lot of change. Everybody was aging, expectedly so. Their dreams shifting and new ones taking place. And somewhere within all that, between therapy sessions and failed dates and three minimum wage jobs that Steve didn’t bother trying to fight for, Eddie Munson became more persistent in his day to day life than ever. Especially when Robin wanted to move apartments, so Steve went, and Eddie came from the shadows of Hawkins to ask, “Is there room for one more?” Not that his presence was unwelcome, but there was definitely a trace amount of surprise Steve put himself through every morning.

It was coming out of his bedroom crusted with drool and slow with waking, spotting Eddie at the dining table with a chapter book laid out in front of him, humming something warm, clearly lost in some sort of far world. Sometimes, it was coming home with takeout in his hands, knowing one of the lo mein containers was Eddie’s. Or taking his shoes off at the front door and placing them on a low-level wire rack, those scuffed Reeboks unlaced and still warm from wherever Eddie had gone. And, the biggest surprise, was the way Steve knew he was drifting more and more into Eddie’s side—wanting to place his head on his bony shoulders, or willingly listen to a dramatic retelling of some four hour argument he had with Dustin, and the way he had to physically pull himself away so he didn’t do an oddball thing like run his nose against the softness of Eddie’s jaw, or even kiss him below the ear where he knew Eddie’s ticklish.

But aside from all of…that, a later thing for his lurching heart but assured bisexual brain to figure out, there was another thing that consumed him more than Eddie. And it was neither a pleasant nor wanted thing.

He began to have these “episodes”, that feels like the most appropriate word to him, where he’d switch between drawn out days of endless exhaustion and something entirely else. Sleep a full eight hours, wake up even more tired, become unmotivated to do anything—not even eat, not even to go to the bathroom—and then he’d take a nap, or two, fall asleep at the same time he did previously, and then the cycle would restart. The alternative to this was annoying, possibly even more annoying than the unmitigated tiredness. It was sleeping three hours at night. It was getting up wide-eyed and crystal clear, going and going and going, without stopping, without that need to stop. And it was eating him alive. This whole back and forth between the weeks of sleeping and the weeks of going because he can, it was wearing him thin and thinner and now he’s at his thinnest.

It’s his ninth appointment that he leaves with an answer.

And in his car, idling in the parking lot, radio silenced and windows rolled all the way up, he grips to the only thing tethering him to the cushion of his seat. The diagnosis, written in cursive scribbling, black ballpoint pen that caught between the hump of a ‘D’ and the dot of a lowercase ‘I’. His thumbnail presses hard into the blank white space below the written text, indenting and pinching the paper. And he tightens his left hand on the lower half of his steering wheel, leather unreasonably warm for a sunny mid-September morning.

Bipolar Disorder, the paper reads.

He knows that’s what it says. Has read it again and again and again and…again before he could even check-out at the receptionist desk. And it’s not like he’d be unable to read it now. There were glasses perched on his nose, smudged on the upper right corner of the left lens, prescription grade and anti-glare. He can read pretty damn clear.

Yet, for some odd reason, he’s not upset by what he’s looking at. The very first thought he had since hearing his therapist say, “It’s clear to me what’s going on. Have you heard of something called bipolar disorder? Maybe manic depression?”, was that he couldn’t be angry. He couldn’t find it in himself to be angry that these are the cards he was dealt. Not even an aching.

Breathing slow in his car, like Robin had showed him a few years ago, he finds the only emotion he can place is relief. A deep, raw, freshly sourced like gold found in a pan, relief.

Steve couldn’t be happier with these words, oddly enough.

The next step was going home and thinking on it.

And the one after that was returning to his therapist to talk about treatment options. There were treatment options, he now realizes, and that brings forth some other pulsing emotion through him. But he doesn’t think he can feel it right now, not entirely, at least if he wants to make it home safely.

So he folds the paper up over itself three times, small enough to fit in his flannel shirt pocket. Turns the keys. Puts himself in reverse. And he goes home.

——— “I’m home!” Steve calls out, shutting the door with his foot. He chucks his keys into the dish by the door, slips his sneakers off by stepping on the heels, begins to wrestle with the sleeves of his flannel—not before taking out that sheet of paper. “I brought back some Chinese,” he mock-shouts, setting the bag down on the floor to hang up his shirt, and he picks it up to head into the dining area.

As he’s unloading their lunch haul, Eddie and Robin noisily enter from down the hall, careening into the dining room like two roadrunners. “Stevie, you’re a freaking lifesaver,” Robin moans behind him. She settles into her usual spot, the left most spot, Eddie across from her, and Steve between them. He pushes a few of the takeout boxes towards her.

“Sweet and sour chicken, pork fried rice, and fried shrimp for Robbie,” he says, “and lo mein, braised pork ribs, and an egg roll for Eds.” For himself, he pulls out a container of beef and broccoli, another box of lo mein, and orange chicken. And of course, a few plastic forks.

Eddie drags his containers towards himself. “Thanks, Stevie,” he says softly, “how’d your appointment go today?”

He hums, settling into his chair. “It went pretty good, actually. There’s something I wanted to share with you guys.” Instead of continuing to eat, Eddie and Robin look to him expectedly. Putting their full attention on him. In the past, it would make him want to slither out of his skin with this kind of attention, but this soft focus is nice now. He’ll actually be heard like this. He gets up to quickly grab the paper from by the door and then brings it back to the table, unfolding it carefully. “My, uh, my therapist listened to me about those episodes I get where I’m really tired all the time. And then, y’know, where it seems like I get stir-crazy or whatever. And she told me today that she knows what’s been going on,” he explains, cautious to not miss a word. Steve presents the paper slowly, laying it out flat between all three of them, text-up for them to read.

“Bipolar disorder?” Robin questions softly, looking up at him, “you think she got it figured out?”

“Yeah, I have full confidence in this,” he states. Sniffles, too. Which, that’s the thing that wanted to come undone in the car. With the relief came the overwhelming need to cry, and he supposes with the people he feels safest, he can do just that. So he does. His voice is strained, choked when he continues, “I thought I’d have to like search forever, guys. Thought that maybe it was some side effect from that demobat attack, y’know? But it’s not. It’s…there’s words for what’s been going on with me, can you believe that?”

Gently, Eddie reaches out to him. A hand on his right forearm. A soothing thumb over his exposed skin. “And how are you feeling about that, sweetheart?”

Laughing a half-sob sort of thing, he dislodges Eddie’s hand, only to scoop up both his and Robin’s palms into his own. Holding them tightly, knocking all of their knuckles against the table as he jostles them slightly. “I’m so relieved, you have no idea! Like I…I knew my mom had something, y’know? She’s like me and I knew she was taking medicine for something, I just never thought there was a term for it. There’s a term—a term!”

Taking care of him, Eddie and Robin move from their seats. His head is tucked into Eddie’s chest. And Robin wraps herself along his left side. But all in all, in their arms, he’s held, comforted. There are fingers running through his hair. Nails dragging gently up and down his forearm. He’s warm.

When he’s pulled back, Eddie holds his face between his hands. Thumbs tapping away at the tacky tracks of tears down his cheeks. Gentle to not jostle his glasses clear off his face. “What’s the next step, Stevie?”

“Yeah,” Robin adds on, “what can we do?”

“Well, I go back next week for my regular session. She wants to speak with me about ways to manage the disorder. Mentioned something about mood stabilizers. Which…” he trails, lets Robin squeeze him tighter. After a moment of careful, slow breaths, he adds, “I think I’m going to go ahead with the medication. With how low my lows get, I think that’s best.”

“Whatever you do, Steve-O, we’ll be here to support you,” Robin murmurs.

“Yeah, dude, we’ve got you,” Eddie agrees just as softly.

He sniffs again. “Thanks guys, I’m glad I have you both. Now, eat your food before it gets cold. I don’t want to hear you guys complain about how it congealed in the fridge.”

They laugh at that, brightly and warmly. And after such a daunting several years, Steve feels a little less heavy. Even has a new spark of hope in his chest for a future that he is looking forward to navigate, but not without his best friends at his sides.

🫂—————🫂

[littledesertfox]

intro, I guess?

hii! I figured I should make a post like this even though I have a feeling it will be like super messy xD

I've had an interest in history, specifically World War II basically since I was a kid. It was only recently though that I found out that there's a community for it! I've always had a thing with expressing my interests in ways that may seem slightly odd to other people, so it feels nice to see that there are others who seem to experience this in similar ways :3

I want to make it very clear that I am NOT a nazi or rightwing in any way, and I don't want actual (neo-)nazis to interact with my blog, get the fuck out! Similarly, I don't want racists, lgbtq-phobes, ableists, religious extremists, pedos & zoos or people of similarly disgusting kind to interact! I'm literally queer and neurodivergent (undiagnosed/suspected bc getting a therapy place is hard :/), this is not a place for you!

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I've been a fan of the Downfall parodies on youtube when I was younger and recently relapsed into this fixation😭 I don't know if this fandom even really exists at this point since it seems that many creators have left in the meantime, but I'd love to talk about it, maybe I'll even get to write fanfics at some point. Also a short disclaimer that when I talk about historical figures that play a major role in the Downfall parody universe (such as Fegelein, Krebs, Burgdorf etc), it will usually be about their parody selves, not the real people! I'll try to clarify that individually if needed though.

I've also started lurking a little in the reichblr tag with a feeling that I'd describe as "indimidated fascination". Currently I'm mostly interested in some members of the Wehrmacht, but other historical figures that I had or have an interest in might come up as well. Overall any stuff that I post will probably go more into the lighthearted and humorous direction, but I'd love to bring in some more educational stuff as well.

My inbox is always open if you want to gush or ramble about your favourite historical figures or Downfall characters (both from the parodies and the movie itself) and such! Please talk to me about our shared faves😭🫶

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I get crushes on fictional characters and sometimes historical figures too, but that doesn't mean I support, condone or defend their worldviews or actions in any way (this applies especially to real people of course)! These "crushes" usually stem from a place of fascination with who they were behind their public appearance, I want to know more about them as a private person, like their hobbies, favourite food and other mundane things like that. Often it's also simply that I feel physically attracted to their appearance because I think they're handsome, either that or they give me massive gender envy (or both lmao). I don't really control on who I fixate like that, it just happens, but I hope that this will be a place for me to express those feelings in some way and find like-minded people. Though I also want to point out that not all my fixations are automatically also crushes! Usually I will mention whether they are or not, or you'll probably notice based on what kind of posts I make about them lol.

Current main historical fixations:

Erwin Rommel (I can't help it I just think he's cute ._.)

Fritz Bayerlein (he's the dude in my pfp lol, there's barely info about him but idk I just think he's kinda interesting😭 also yes he was actually bi)

Current main Downfall fixations:

Hans Krebs & Wilhelm Burgdorf (the otp ever)

Wilhelm Mohnke (ngl Downfall!Mohnke is kinda fine❤️‍🔥 ... idk maybe I'm just finding the actor hot though😭)

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If I encounter things that make me uncomfortable I follow common fandom courtesy and block tags or blogs accordingly. This is nothing personal, I'm just curating my own online space. I don't want to see any harassment here, neither towards myself nor to others!

Anyway I guess that's it for now? Idk if this is any good as an intro post but for now it'll have to do I guess😂 I'm generally not really sure yet in which direction to go with this blog (should it be more Downfall or reichblr focused? is there a lot of overlap between the fandoms? do they even get along? help😭). I also don't know how active I'll be in general, I'm also constantly jumping between thoughts like "yee this is gonna be fun" and "dafuq am I doing here I should feel ashamed about myself" but I hope to meet people who share my interests :3