#who the fuck is lesbian jesus lol

[yeahyeahchloe]

love love LOVE your works! 💗 So i randomly had an idea, hear me out!

drummer abby and bassist reader. I literally can see abby getting jealous if a fan approaches the reader and gets a bit touchy (not like a wired way, like hugging her ecc)

oh anon...i love me a jealous gf...

drummer!abby x bassist!reader

synopsis: You just wrapped up your last show of your tour, and run into some fans backstage who are acting like a bit more than just fans...

cw: smut18+, minors and ageless blogs dni, strap use (r!receiving), slight choking, some angst, fluff at the very end, me being too lazy to give the bandmates names, my mid smut writing (im learning lol), my excessive vocabulary

(a/n: pls lmk if u see any typos! )

˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

The crowd thundered with screams and applause as the final guitar cord strummed the final song, of the final tour.

Stage lights shown onto your face, encouraging your skin to sweat and your eyes to water.

You decided to relish in the feeling, as it was the last of it you would experience for a while.

Turning around you spotted a face adorned with pride and glee, showcasing a stoic grin.

Blue eyes met yours and that grin seemed to break just a small bit wider.

You, and the rest of the band inevitably had to step off the stage for the last time, and the second you were behind that curtain you were immediately wrapped in a strong hug.

But the hug was unfamiliar.

Very unfamiliar.

"Oh my god, I love you! You looked so incredible up there it was seriously like an angel on Earth or something!" said the body that was previously hugging and was now holding both your hands.

The girl was accompanied by another, who was standing slightly behind her, each holding a starstruck expression.

You quickly got over your initial shock and went into greeting mode.

"Oh! Thank You! Means a lot you enjoyed our last show,"

"Its seriously like nothing I've ever seen. And its so cool back here! My Dad runs tech so he let me in,"

Figures.

"Mhm, I bet,"

"Oh! I almost forgot, I made you something!" The girl reached into her pocket, pulling out a bracelet adorning the lesbian flag colors with a name in the middle.

Gracie.

You glanced at her wrist to see she had one with your name.

"O-oh thanks!" You said, now slightly creeped out.

"Ok, picture time!" she grabbed your waist pulling you in tight as her friend snapped a picture, "Thank you!! I'll see you on my feed," she attempted a joke at this point you wouldn't find funny, and walked away.

Turning around to your bandmates you made a wide-eyed expression and let out an exasperated sigh.

"Jesus what was that?" one of them asked.

"No fucking clue," You answered before realizing Abby had gone, "Hey, where's Abs?"

"She left just a second ago, towards the dressing rooms, looked pissed as fuck,"

You nodded in thanks before walking in the direction of yours and Abby's shared room.

You knocked before entering to find her getting her things together.

"Hey Abby," you greeted timidly.

"Can you get everything you need? 'm tired 'nd I wanna go to the trailer," she said, only glancing my way.

You knew when Abby was frustrated it was best to let her cool off, so you simply gathered your things, walked over to her to show you were ready, and she placed her hand on your lower back to guide you out of the room and to the trailer.

Once inside you both set down your stuff, and you decided that you would talk to her now.

You walked over to her as she sat on the slightly small bed and sat down next to her.

"You okay?" you wearily asked.

She managed a soft "mhm fine" before getting up and walking to where her clothes were, pulling off her shirt leaving her in her bra and jeans.

"Tell me what's wrong," you said, walking up to her slowly.

"I said I was fine, jesus," she grunted, rummaging around for her pajamas.

"Abby," you asserted, finally getting her to look at you, "Please,"

She turned away before saying "You're just too fucking nice to people sometimes,"

"What?" You asked, half not fully catching what she said, half wanting her to go on.

"I mean if some fucking weirdo comes over and hugs you, why wouldn't you deck them?"

"Okay, are you talking about that fan? What do you expect me to do; be a dick and shove her off?"

"Yes-No-I don't fucking know," she stuttered before stomping off back to the bed and taking a seat once again.

You sat next to her, in the same spot you were originally in before asking much more gently, "Abs, what's actually wrong?"

She sighed, "Its just, her fucking hands were all over you, and then she gave you that ridiculous thing like she was trying to claim you or something and it pissed me off,"

"Abby, are you jealous?" you asked, slightly teasing.

"Oh fuck off. I have no reason to be, nobody will ever make you feel as good as I do," she said, turning to you, her eyes now displaying her anger had morphed into lust.

"Yeah?" you asked, breaths becoming shorter.

"Yeah, and I'm gonna prove it to you,"

Before you could get another word in, her lips passionately, yet aggressively slammed into yours.

You immediately reciprocated the kiss and reached your hands us, one cradling her face and the other holding her still bare upper waist.

Both her hands creeped around your hips and gripped them harshly as your tongues met, lifting you and placing you straddling her.

You felt her move her lips from yours and quickly move them down to your neck, kissing and licking up until she got to your ear before whispering "you're mine, and no one's gonna fucking change that,"

Your hips grinded down on to hers as you let out a breathy moan at her words, and the new found bulge you felt in her pants.

"Yeah, feel that? Knew I was gonna fuck you tonight, got ready just for you," she whispered in your ear once again, sending waves of exitment throughout your entire body.

She moved her lips back to yours to continue kissing you as she took your shirt and removed it exposed your tits to her.

Abby took her mouth away from yours and hungrily moved them down to your nipples, sucking and biting at them, eliciting a moan from your chest as you grabbed her hair tightly.

You felt her hands reach down and unbutton your jeans before flipping you on your back so she was now hovering over you.

She quickly moved down, removing your pants and underwear together, revealing your sopping wet pussy to her.

"Fuck, you're so wet. Who makes you this wet?" she asked, toying at your lips, pulling them apart so she could see all of you.

"Mmmh you do," you answered her quietly, aching for her to touch you.

"What's that? You have to speak up sweetheart," Abby said, now looking up at you.

"Fuck, Abby, you make me so wet, you're the only one who makes me this wet," you whimpered in response.

You saw Abby smirk before placing a small kiss on your clit before removing her own pants to reveal her strap, looking as ready for you as ever.

"Do you want my cock baby?" She asked, sliding it up and down your pussy, teasing you.

"Shit-yes, Abby please. Please I only want your cock,"

Abby didn't even have to ask and she had you begging, it gave her an insane ego boost that only got her off more.

"Good girl, learning so fast," she praised before painfully slowly sliding her strap deep inside of you, stretching out your walls with each inch that entered.

She pulled out just as slow as before, and without warning, slammed into you at an alarming speed.

Screams of pleasure roared out of your chest as you felt her hips clip yours with every deep thrust.

Abby sat above you, seemingly watching every square inch of your body with pride as she fucked you senseless.

"That's right, my perfect girl taking my cock, perfect little thing," She groaned, feeling intense pleasure of her own from the sight of you mixed with the way her strap rubbed her clit deliciously at every move.

"Oh, god Abby! 'S too good...always so good,"

Abby loved it when you praised her, it made her feel like nobody else could ever compare to her.

And she fucking needed that right now.

She slithered a hand down to wrap around your throat and she squeezed lightly, just the way you liked it.

Abby saw the way your eyes were repeatedly rolling back at each moan as they became higher pitched and she knew you were about to cum.

"You gonna cum for me, huh angel? Cum on my fucking cock?" She asked, burying herself impossibly deeper.

All you could muster up in response was a weak nod and a feverish moan.

"That's right, go ahead, let it go,"

As soon as you heard those words you felt your orgasm wash over you in a wave and Abby's relentless pace slowed down to an eventual stop.

She slid out of you before getting a damp washcloth and cleaning you up, before slipping the both of you under the covers.

Abby wrapped her arms around you and pulled you close so that your head was resting under her chin.

After a long beat of silence you spoke up, softly saying, "I don't think I would ever love someone like I love you,"

Abby pulled your head out from under yours, and leaned down to give you a long, lovingly kiss.

"I'm sorry I got mad, I mean, I was jealous. I just-I just never want you to leave me," she spoke softly with vulnerability in her eyes.

You cupped her face with both hands, placing a kiss on her forehead before whispering, "You aren't ever going to have to worry about that,"

˖⁺‧₊˚ ♡ ˚₊‧⁺˖

[canisalbus]

Have you read the locked tomb series by Tamsyn Muir? Vasco gives off moderate Gideon vibes and Machete gives off HUGE Harrowhark vibes

(and no spoilers for why I'm saying this but it would be FASCINATING to see Machete as a Nona-like character)

If you haven't read it, it's catholic necromancers and swordswomen in space in the future. God is a twitch streamer. Jesus is a lesbian. Everyone is a lesbian. One of the main characters is a schizophrenic nun in love with the corpse of a dead planet who has taken the form of a living human sized barbie doll. Another of the main characters is the most scrungly fucked up rat woman you will ever meet.

If you can't tell, I love the locked tomb and want to write a crossover fic with Vasco and Machete lol

I haven't read it but I've certainly heard of it, mostly good things. People keep recommending it to me, telling me I might like it based on my art and vibes, and Machete has been compared to Harrowhark specifically a whole bunch of times.

[hostilemuppet]

Brozone (and friends (and enemies)) twitter drama au

Collaborative between me and @squirrelpatties. Truly our magnum opus

Jd: previously a frequent twitter e-clown infamous for name searching and starting beef with people who insulted him. His fanbase thought it was hilarious in a "grandpa escaped the hospital" way. Eventually was forced to relinquish control of @/brojohndoryofficial to his pr manager (clay) after he responded to 14 y/o @/j0ndryballzweat.

Floyd (part 1): his sex tape (with a fan he didnt know was a fan but thats hardly relevant) gets leaked. For the first three days everyone's timeline was full of "do NOT share it around, dont even look for it, if someone sends it to you IGNORE it, this is a disgusting breach of privacy" until Floyd addresses it by tweeting "decided to put on a different kind of show for you guys" and all hell breaks loose. Every tweets hidden replies are full of screencaps and reuploads for a month. People edit the video so just before anything explicit happens it's replaced by a video game cutscene or meme, which Floyd retweets a lot of. His brothers ask him to stop (both for publicity and bc it makes them uncomfortable) so he starts posting thirst traps on insta. Clay yells at him so Floyd tweets "clay just asked when I'm gonna get a girlfriend :/" which brings us to-

Clay: homophobia allegations. Admittedly the least serious and would have blown over quickly if it weren't for him panic tweeting "I'm not homophobic! My girlfriend is a bi lesbian!" People were NOT happy. It takes him three days of retweeting 'helpful educational threads and carrds' on lesbianism written by 14 y/os for people to get off his back. Viva understands.

Bruce: stays off social media bc its the mind killer so he lets clay take care of @/brobruceofficial. This goes well until clay gets drunk and thinks he's on his private account but is actually on Bruce's public. When he wakes up (hungover) in the morning hes got Bruce banging on his door asking why TMZ is reporting on him cheating on his wife. Bruce tells him to clear things up but clay JUST got the lesbians off his back and can't afford to be back in the hotseat...

Branch and poppy: branch was annoyed by all the branch/poppy rpf fanfic (poppy likes them bc she thinks they're cute and funny. When brozone go on tour she reads the smutty ones) so he suggested to poppy that they stage a fake breakup. Poppy is initially against the idea until branch brings up how much fun itd be to sneak around like a couple of teenagers. Poppy scrapbooks the tabloids about their breakup. Clay and Bruce blame clays drunken tweets on branch so clay seems like the victim. Poppy acknowledges this on twitter in a way that very heavily implies they broke up bc branch was cheating on her with her own sister. Viva does not understand. This one doesn't have a resolution yet bc we moved onto:

Barb: previous lesbian icon turned reactionary transphobe. Riff stopped associating with her once she started getting really public with it and now she keeps tweeting stuff like "you-know-who left me just to work with misogynists. Really makes you think 🤔 " which he ignores.

Riff: while still working with barb he was approached to collab with creek (damage control for the... unsavoury things he said about rock trolls). The second the song released he tweeted "wow that guy was an asshole LOL" bc he didn't realise he wasn't supposed to do that. Cut contact with barb once her transphobia went from "mild, I can fix her" to "jesus fucking christ". Briefly worked with Floyd until his second controversy at which point riff tweeted "cmon, man" and turned off his phone. Riff hasn't done anything wrong and he deserves a lot better

Velvet: crafted the perfect expose thread on Floyd when she was in prison, including "pro life" "publicly sharing inappropriate sexual content" and "uses the toothpaste flag". Posts it the second she gets let out of prison and instantly becomes #1 on trending (alongside "floyd" "pro life" and "#HUGS4CLAY).

Floyd (part 2): tweets "why does it even matter that I'm pro life if I'm gay and don't 'believe' in 'voting'" before doing another line off his boyfriends torso. People bring his leaked nudes back up and start insulting his dick size and its the first time hes ever let a controversy bother him. His next tweet is "I am not ashamed of my body" and the top reply (creek pfp) is "you should be ❤". Clay is biting the skin off his own tongue.

[starsoftheeye]

TMAGP Episode 15 Live Reaction

I'm destressing after an exam so we're doing this again baby wooo

Pre-Episode

My YouTube keeps not showing the episode, it's been like an hour since the release and its still not up for me

It's not even up for my laptop this is so annoying

I can't remember how I got it to show up last time as well

Bro I keep refreshing my page and its not there WHERE ARE YOU???

Screw it Spotify get over here

THANK YOU SPOTIFY

who is this man and why is he just doing the toffee/gum in mouth/ face stretching exercise from every drama rehearsal i've ever been to

this is oddly scary

as a physics student... probably

oh its a gum ad

oooh implications

this podcast sounds cool

hi simon!!

i'm gonna stop talking about the ads now this post is so long already lmao

i love it when people dedicate episodes to their friends its so sweet

Pre-Statement

sam and celia!!

:0 he got them tickets? thats so sweet i love him

Theatre tickets can be fucking expensive as well jesus he is down bad

ah yes, my favourite piece of theatre to bring a date to: The Pillowman

i love them

alice!!

oooh luke mention

every thursday i listen to a new tmagp episode and every thursday my samalicelia post becomes a little more plausible

she has really thought this through huh

okay this is probably alice meddling out of jealousy but seriously you cannot expect me to hear her basically asking these two to hangout after theyve been on a date and expect my samalicelia brain to not go insane over it

aw alice :(

jack mention jack mention

"babys are cool" shes so me

aw celia i love her

uh oh sam and alice conversation

oh so now youtube decides to work

i cannot understand what sam said there but i'm assuming it was funny and only a bit passive agressive

Statement

Ah another voicemail

this guy sounds like tim but not

oh god what fucked up dinner party are the rich doing now

"they wanted to know whos kill they were eating" oh this is gonna be interesting

oh no theyre watching

ah yes, very informative "prepare"

whos gonna die

ooooh a fucked up woman i love fucked up women

i know this is probably a very important character and i should be paying attention but i am a mere lesbian and i am finding this woman very attractive right now

thats when you realised something was up?

oh im so gay

theyre gonna aim for the caterers they are not safe

bingo

theyre gonna make them run methinks

they killed all the birds

oh are they gonna make the caterers kill something/someone?

oh no steven :(

these people are being very vague id be asking so many questions

each other?

EACH OTHER

PLEASE BE EACH OTHER THATS SO COOL

EACH OTHER YES

I LOVE HUNTING STORIES

this guys enjoying this a little too much

go on boris

oh no boris :(

is she following him?

OH NO HE GOT CAUGHT

AHHHH WOMAN

SHES HOT

HUH????

CELIA RUN

actually no dont you have a better chance if you stay i think

SLAY CELIA

lena what did you do

this is weirdly homoerotic

GWEN???

GWEN WHAT DID YOU DO

GWEN I LOVE YOU BUT WHAT

CHESIRE BOUCHARDS WHAT

GWEN?????

Post-Statement

ooooh is this lukes band?

theyre good i like it

awww these two arent gonna survive together

damn hes doing well

pfffft weedy git i love luke already

hello?? whos this??

lady are you okay??

alice run

ALICE RUN

ALICE HONEY WHAT HAPPENED

yippee more trauma for her to cover up with jokes

is she doing ellie the elephant oh my god

oh shes back

yeah alice you should run

im betting this was the stranger from the magnus institute

i shouldve paid attention to her little ramble lol

oh my god so much is happening in this show and we're only on episode 15

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

your rant about that lesbian book you read recently is so real jesus christ. i read so many lesbian books and fanfics exactly like this i can't stand it... and so many times i have reacted the same way as you did lol. don't know if it's something similar to what you mean but i remember this one where the protagonist was searching for her love interest who had disappeared and in the midst of her heart "ridden with grief" she was still fucking other people. what is going ON? i can't even comprehend that. don't even think it's "intense monogamy" of your part lol this world is just so rotten actually and by extension fictional "romance" is as well. sometimes i forget the average person has a complete different meaning of "devotion" i have

God Yea. You get it. When I'm interested in someone then they have my whole attention. Even if it's just a crush. I'm devoted af. You would never catch me fucking other people while claiming to be in love with someone else. If I'm not your one and only, don't touch me.

[semidecentpoet]

Queer Christian "mini" ramble :P

I'm a nonbinary lesbian and a practicing Catholic Christian, and ik that Christianity has been and continues to be used as a justification for queerphobia (by people who have clearly never read a Bible smh), but that hasn't stopped me from thinking ab how even just the themes of faith and queerness collide and intersect and come together and shit in such,,,,, just,,,,, beautiful ways imo???

Even going beyond the whole "Love thy neighbor as thyself" and Jesus just being a Swell Guy—The Swell Guy—it can get really fucking interesting, especially considering the context of modern times (I'm a little coo-coo for literary analysis, so just allow me to get my energy out here lol)

Like, Isaiah 49:15 says, "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!" (wording varies based on the version of Bible, but you get the picture)

God is literally saying, "I love you even if your own mother doesn't," and somehow, in the context of so many queer kids getting kicked out/disowned by their parents—to the point where 28% of queer youth have experienced homelessness at some point in their lives as of 2021—too many fucking Christians think God hates gays??? Pick up the damn Book, bitches???

God is an ally, you fake motherfuckers. Leave Their kids alone, goddamn.

(As an aside, I don't want to make anyone feel like I'm pushing my faith onto them, especially when it comes from a religion and institution that has done a lot of fucking harm. I'm not trying to convert anyone—that would be a bitch move. I just get really excited about these two parts of my identity that are very important to me lol)

I feel like this adds up to the bigger point that God is all ab the OutcastsTM, those who mainstream society has marginalized and all that. Several examples from the Gospel to support this come to mind immediately, but listing them all would take a Hot Minute.

But this line from Isaiah is one I think ab a lot. In a text that relies heavily on parable—to the point where you'd think more Christians would understand what metaphors are by now—this line hits especially hard in the context of today bc it's something that literally happens frequently to a specific group of people.

It's eery, at the very least, how on-point it is.

To anyone that's read this far—not to be that cheesy Christian, but I'm gonna be that cheesy Christian—God loves you. Even if you're not religious or have a rocky relationship with religion, I want you to know that God loves you. I have textual evidence and everything. Take it or leave it, doesn't matter <3

At the very least, I, some okay-ish poet on Tumblr (who rarely posts any actual poetry lol), am in your corner. Should you ever need it <3

Ok, ramble over, go drink some water. Hydrate or die straight, you sexy bitches

[dykeulous]

i think the weirdest part of being a terminally online tra is their grandiose sense of self. like, i’ll ramble about how i’m a pussy liker and then they’ll shout “you exclude trans women and include trans men in your lesbianism!!” like, shut up maybe? maybe i’m not talking about you?

also it’s weird how they think lesbianism immediately excludes trans men. many lesbians are trans men, many lesbians are dating trans men. trans men are multifaceted, and not all of them get dysphoric about the term lesbian, if that is the term they feel fits them best. lesbianism has always included trans men. if you’re a trans man who feels attraction towards female people & you want to refer to yourself as straight, that’s cool. if you want to refer to yourself as lesbian, that’s also cool. i see no point in trying to police people’s choices. it’s not like trans men lesbians are harming anyone. they cannot oppress cis lesbians or invade lesbian spaces, since they wield no societal power to do so. a trans man has so many things in common with a lesbian, especially a non-transitioned, closeted one. they both are oppressed by misogyny, have lived a life of gender trauma & have had gender forced vigorously on them, they are both oppressed by homophobia and both suffer under the heteropatriarchy. trans men who haven’t had bottom surgery can call themselves lesbian, and if you want to ignore that, then you are a historical revisionist. you’re closing your eyes before the beautiful, intersecting history of lesbianism & transmasculinity.

also. why do lesbians have to include trans women in their lesbianism? not everything is about you guys. the black trans women being sold to sex trade suffering the most aren’t gonna be helped because some lesbian decided to suck a white trans woman’s cock. lesbians aren’t obliged to like dick, and it’s actually pretty fucking homophobic & misogynistic to imply they are. i personally would date a trans woman who has had all surgeries & has been on hormones for a while, but even then, lesbians don’t have to do so & someone not wanting to date you isn’t oppression. jesus christ, get that inside your head.

god darn. just let lesbians be lesbians. just let lesbians worship pussy in peace lol.

[nothinginthisworldbelongstome]

hi im rose!

just started this blog so i need to fix it up all nice and pretty but honestly idk when that might happen lol

friendly dms welcomed, but please dont flirt/sext im talking with someone atm <3

just a reminder, bc sometimes people forget and treat me like im just one thing- I AM A SWITCH. that means i want to and enjoy BOTH domming and subbing, and i cant do just one all the time, it burns me out. that might be different for other people, but this is how it works for me. i need as close to 50/50 as i can get, 70/30 works too.

more about me under the cut!

i just turned 19 aug 4th! she/her lesbian

men, terfs, bigots, any shitty people, and minors fuck off i will block u

im very switchy atm, will dom or sub whatever u need baby 😘

im more comfortable topping, and i loveeee bringing u pleasure, but it would be nice to have someone who desired me as much as i did them, even if im not yet comfortable receiving that attention lol

ive only been in 1 relationship online and never have even kissed anyone before, but ive been on nsfw tumblr for a while

i dont consider myself super femme but im definitely not masc/butch. i like jewelry and flowery clothes tho lol. i kinda just wear things and i dont have a super distinctive style. im mostly attracted to femmes but for me attraction usually comes from the face and personality, generally not style, if anyone cares lmao

im 5'7, i have brown hair and blue-green eyes, and im plus size, if any of that matters to yall

kinks:

praise praise praise. i love telling u how good ur doing for me and also i wanna be someones good girl

pretty girls telling me what to do hehe i love that

pet namessss ugh pet names. i use them SO much so if u dont like it let me know (but it will be so hard for me to stop ngl i fucking love pet names)

also call ME pet names and ill fall in love with u its so soft and sweettt ahhhh

anything that will bring you pleasure. when u tell me that turned u on/made u wet that turns me on sooo much

mommy kinkkkkk! call me mommy or let me call u mommy pretty girl

VOICESSS FUCKING VOICESS i have a hugeeee voice kink. make all ur pretty noises for me baby u sound so good

grindinggg i love grinding. yes bounce on my leg sweet thing

light pet play. like ill call u puppy/bunny/kitten, collars are hot, but not much more than that and im not a pet. no cages or anything more hardcore than that really

pulling my hairrr yes babygirl pull my hair while i eat u out

consensual somnophilia i love the idea of knowing someone trusts u enough to let u do whatever u want to them while theyre sleeping

MARKINGSSS ugh theyre so hot. ive veryyyy possessive i want u to be MINE if im into u. so yes marks are so hot. giving AND being given

also reciprocal possessiveness??? jesus christ sign me up. im urs and ur mine and now im in love

LIMITS

theres probably more but this is all i can think of right now

also even tho i dont personally enjoy something or dont have it in my likes, feel free to ask! im generally very open to trying things at least once. and some of the things i dont really care for i dont mind doing a little bit if its something my partner wanted! communication is key <3

heavy degradation/humiliation and stuff like that. i dont like being really mean it makes me feel bad. i will however tease u until ur begging me to let u cum <3

also dont be mean at all in any way to me ill cry

rapeplay/kidnapping or anything nonconsensual like that it makes me feel bad

any terms like daddy/cock/dick. big turn off for me

any bodily fluids other than cum gross me out sorry

feet. u can do whatever u want with mine ig but i dont like urs no thanks

send asks and dms!! i crave interaction

CLOSING REMARKS

idrk what else to say here. if u read all this u get a cookie ig lol

feel free to ask ANYTHING im an open book and will *probably* answer honestly lol

k love u bye! mwah!

[zalrb]

OTH Rewatch Review 3x07

IIIIIII DON'T WANNA BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYNA BE LATELYYYYYYYYY

Jesus Christ

So, like, here's the thing about this fucking Inception dream sequence. What is happening? Is Nathan dreaming about Haley making out with Brooke after waking up from a nightmare about Lucas and Chris in bed together after Lucas woke up from dreaming about being in bed with Brooke? Because it's a dream within within a dream. I don't know what your subconscious is like Nathan.

Nathan's grin. I mean, technically you've slept with both of them. AND HALEY'S SISTER.

"What is she doing talking to that troll?" "By troll do you mean Peyton?" Oh, Haley. How I love you sometimes.

Because Peyton fucking SUCKS.

"I'm over possessive-best-friends-with-weird-lesbian energy. And Haley!" That was actually a good delivery but if anyone has the lesbian energy here, it's Brooke and Rachel.

"Well, at least somebody wanted me." Oh, preteen Zal was SO frustrated with this ENTIRE storyline.

"HALEY, YOUR BOYFRIENDS ARE HERE." lol.

"You look so..." "Overdressed." Good delivery. But also Haley, my girl, the SUN is out, why are you wearing a little black dress?

I mean "little black dress" this is still OTH.

They really felt uncomfortable in the clothes they had to wear??

This is so dumb, she's clearly going out with Nathan and Haley too, Lucas.

YOU ALL HAVE CELL PHONES. CALL HER.

Ugh, Skills.

"I've been on kinky dates before..." with who? I guess s1 Nathan would've done something weird.

Remember how s1 Nathan was like a legit emotionally, verbally abusive villain?

"Let's spring [the senior in the nursing home]! It's just a couple of hours, what harm could it do?" If this was a dark comedy, he'd die.

Chris tipping a random woman on the beach and slapping her ass is just ... ugh. She should've slapped him. Alas, Mark Schwahn.

Haley having a quiet but profound breakdown. Brooke, "It's OK. Let's just go to the mall." And she is being helpful and it is very sweet but that's also hilarious. Uhhh, sorry that your wedding spot is being destroyed, let's just go to the mall instead. You know? Nothing profoundly sad happens at the mall.

"I can't believe she's doing this." IT WAS A GROUP DATE, LUCAS.

"This guy has caused a lot of trouble, Brooke knows that." Lucas, the people that he caused trouble between WERE WITH HER GETTING INTO THE CAR. YOU SAW THEM.

I swear to god Lucas, I would hit you. SHUT UP.

24. Braley are such better friends than Breyton.

25. I REALLY wish we got more Nathan and Brooke scenes because they had a really fun chemistry together and I liked that they were both being courted by Haley and Lucas and they could both understand where the other was coming from

26. Haley's laugh at Chris saying "Maybe he's afraid of me" is hilarious because she stops and continues. But Chris shutting her up with "Maybe he doesn't care anymore" was mean but well-played.

27. It's funny how Chris Keller is a better Damon than Damon. Because he's not a good actor but he doesn't overplay it.

28. Aww, jealous Nathan

29. James Lafferty's shoulders are quite broad this episode.

30. Nathan is vulnerable and you were practically giving the enemy a LAP DANCE. I mean she wasn't Brooke but the exaggeration is very Brooke and also very high school. I remember in high school we were at a school dance and this girl's boyfriend was getting jumped outside while she was dancing with another guy and all of us girls were like WHAT THE FUCK??? [INSERT NAME] IS GETTING JUMPED AND YOU WERE BASICALLY HAVING SEX ON THE DANCE FLOOR! What did we expect her to do? Get jumped with him?? Teenagers.

31. "I didn't do anything!" "Except for kiss Chris and run away with him?" I mean, she's got a point Haley. "What about you messing with Lucas and hiding all those letters you wrote to him under your bed?" I mean, she's got a point Brooke.

32. "I know this is where we made love in the rain." I mean, it wasn't ON the balcony though. It should've been.

33. "I still feel our past just like you do" well especially considering that you were the one who was left.

34. Rachel calling Lucas gay because he's CLEARLY into Brooke and is like please stop getting naked around me because I LOVE BROOKE is hilarious because what?

35. Chris also getting Brooke more and more drunk so they can have sex is incredibly gross.

36. "All of the celebrity..." she had ONE original song and was doing covers and opening for actual celebrities? WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT HERE?

37. We could also talk about the fact that Nathan was the one who encouraged her to sing in front of people etc. etc. and she wouldn't have been a "star" without him in her life at all.

38. Mouth's reveal that Mel is his grandfather is ... OK? I know this is supposed to push Peyton to Ellie but meh.

39. "SHE NOTEBOOKED YOU?" "I totally Notebooked him" lmao these references.

40. Nathan keeping a flower from the beach is Lucas keeping a feather from Brooke's wings.

41. *SIGH* Brooke and Chris. What, it takes like two more episodes for them to be together?

42. I also absolutely do not believe that Brooke wouldn't have kicked Chris out of the house right after sleeping with him. She'd be disgusted.

[b0rtney]

ALL im saying is if u gave me fuck u money i'd write a fanfic where, for some reason i will come up w later, katniss doesn't/can't volunteer for prim during the reaping.

so we get prim and peeta in the hunger games, hamish and effie coaching them as best they can. and prim is, ofc tiny and scared and like. 11 or whatever (i forgor ages), and peeta is like ":) ok new plan: make sure katniss gets her little sister back!" meanwhile hamish is like "do i even know a kind of self defense that works for someone the size of perhaps a small potato or large hamster????" and effie is like "oh dear lord. oh jesus. she's just solidly gonna die huh??? oh god i need a career change???" and prim, after the shock has worn off, is like "oh shit i have a sister (and mom ig) to get back to. i gotta live thru this."

so prim is like solidly understanding she's not winning against careers in combat. she focuses on any other skill she can get-- medicine to patch herself up, camouflage from peeta, shmoozing for sympathy points (with incredible success, bc she knows who she is and what she looks like), and once she meets the other tributes she manages to worm some useful info on a few things out of a few other tributes who r like "oh poor thing won't survive the cornucopia" and, most notably, she becomes besties w rue.

and so peeta plays his angle of "i just wanna get back to the girl i love uwu," but doesn't bring prim into it as katniss's sister v much bc he knows that would put a target on her back, he instead paints himself as this big ol' sap that'll be easy pickings (if you can find him) so it looks like district 12 just spat out some softies this year (everyone back home is preemptively mourning). maybe he drops one line abt "i will do anything to get prim home safe" w kinda a looking-directly-into-the-camera-kubrick-stare moment.

meanwhile prim is like "rue. bestie. it might be great for us to play our friendship to the camera a bunch? for ratings?? ppl send us things for free??" and rue is like "aight sure yea lets do it" so they do it-- and if my lesbian ass has her way maybe they have little tiny baby crushes and like. hold hands or somn. idk ceasar would play it up and soon we've got the whole capitol like 'THE BABIES OH GAWD NO' and so the star-crossed lovers thing still happens, but with prim and rue. the capitol loses it's shit, bc they're on the way younger side, with baby faces, who have been playing up how tiny and defenseless they are to anyone who will listen for clout and donations.

with a push from peeta/haymitch/effie, ceasar's little-babies-who-will-never-even-get-to-be-fully-in-love-bc-there's-no-way-they're-surviving-the-next-24-hours shtick for prim/rue gets spun wildly out of control before the games even start and suddenly the capitol is demanding the games be called off since "so many of them are so young!" at most extreme, or wondering if the minimum age for the hunger games isn't too young at most moderate.

district 13 was not ready for such a prime revolution moment to happen so quick, but they make the best of it in a somewhat disorganized way. They sway public opinion into spinning this story up, up, and away from capitol control, which eventually (through difficult to succinctly summarize PR bullshit) has everyone calling for snow to step down, and he can't very well use the cattleprods on the supposed upper crust, can he? not when every other district is already twitching for an excuse to revolt and has been for a while. so he 'gracefully' steps down (repercussions to be written in fic). district 13 is like damn they r fr handing us this one wtf.

coin(? i forgor names lol) is just barely too slow to neatly slot herself into power, bc now the capitol+districts is like "WE should get a say *insert democracy/anarcho-communism/republicanism/alt-govt.png*" idk maybe panem fractures into smaller govts that stop being affiliated w one country idk. i havent written the fic yet bc i dont have fuck u money.

what i DO know is katniss is honestly too involved in watching the games and subsequent bullshit to notice gale breathing, and peeta comes home w prim who is like 'can we go visit rue in the spring?' and katniss is like '....... u just restructured the govt...... sure yea wtvr' and peeta goes back to pining bc i just dont think he knows how to make a move when not on a death-related timeclock. maybe prim throws him a bone and wingmans him in there.

[aprillikesthings]

I think I finally have the energy for more rewatch

We're on the home stretch now folks

*cries*

s5 ep9 An Ill Wind

Me when I started doing this nearly two months ago: oh my god I can't do this for every episode it'll take me MONTHS to watch them all I want is to refresh my memory of the show enough to write my damn fic

Me now, having done this for Yes, Every Fucking Episode: I'm not ready for the show to be over ;_; Also I am devastatingly obsessed with Catra and learned I have a specific kink I didn't know the name of before and I keep practicing eyeliner like every night so I can cosplay Catra :D

ahahahah oh god

also from here on out I am going to not read the synopses

(I didn't do that for most of the episodes anyway tbh)

Glimmer can teleport relatively far distances with multiple people again but Catra is NOT a fan

also they're toUCHING

Adora, looking into the woods: hey come look at this

Catra: *still suppressing puking from some form of motion sickness caused by teleportation*

oh they find the empty torn up camp

Glimmer: maybe they went to Bright Moon or Mystacor? Catra: dude you know they could all be chipped so maybe we should be careful Glimmer: oh you don't trust princesses? Adora: Catra's right Catra: *grins in satisfaction*

just look at her

the fuckin. lack of subtlety here. as always. *chef's kiss*

("ugh they didn't HAVE to be so obvious don't you think it's Too Much" listen I've literally seen people who've watched Arcane be surprised to find out that people are shipping Vi and Caitlyn. "Really? I didn't think that was romantic." You didn't? Did we watch the same fucking show??? The one where those two have romantic tension so thick you could carve it with a KNIFE? The one where they had an overdramatic breakup scene in the rain even tho they hadn't kissed or anything? The one where they lay on Caitlyn's bed and talked about Vi's past while making significant eye contact and holding hands and Caitlyn pet Vi's face? That scene where they hug on the bridge and Vi does that like, face pet thing before walking off and they're clearly both in AGONY at being separated?! Are you really that fucking oblivious??? Jesus H Christ. Yes She-Ra made it SUPER OBVIOUS because some people are BAD AT PICKING UP THIS SHIT also She-Ra is aimed at kids and they haven't learned subtlety. Arcane was aimed at adults.)

no really I've seen people express surprise that people think they're going to be a couple. when that ^ was after they'd known each other like two hours

(seriously tho, if you can handle violence (there's a LOT ngl, it is not a show for kids) then you should watch Arcane, the people who make it have made it pretty clear that it's gonna be canon, and the next season is out in November; but also leaving shipping aside it's just REALLY, REALLY GOOD)

ANYWAY back to other animated lesbians

lol Glimmer teleports them all again without warning and Catra really does look like she's gonna hurl

And Erelandia ain't looking so good, oops

(but also yes Adora helped Catra up again)

intro is the same as the last episode

AHAHAH a dozen planets are rebelling against Horde Prime he's so pissed. And they apparently all mention She-Ra

yeah I am again surprised at how much of the actual plot I forgot lol (but I remembered that Glimmer liked to sneak into the kitchen to eat cake with her hands. Y'know. Important things.)

given his tiny facial reactions I think that's Hordak-Hordak. Our Hordak. Not the Wrong Hordak. I think.

once again I ask myself: where did y'all get those outfits

Entrapta teaches Wrong Hordak how to wink and it's so cute. I also love that she explains what it means--because I'm sure she had to consciously learn it, too: "It signals unspoken intent behind my words. In this case, our mutual deception of the Horde. Now you try."

awww

but yeah everyone in town is terrified and won't talk to them, and especially doesn't want to talk about any princesses

"should I buy property here?"

"...go team."

C'MON THAT WAS FUNNY, GUYS

Also, note to self, Melog definitely understands human speech--they split up, Catra is told to stick with Entrapta and Melog (and Catra frowns at this, just barely) and Adora tells Melog to keep them safe and it does a little noise of affirmation. (wait is Melog a he or a she or a they?)(fan wiki says it's an it but dang I feel weird using "it")

Okay so the scene where Glimmer, Adora, and Bow hide in a shop and then end up arguing with the shopkeeper is like, fascinating on multiple levels

Because on the one hand: I can't blame the townspeople for just keeping their head down and trying to get out alive. On the other hand, reporting them to the Horde isn't cool; they could just pretend not to be suspicious of these guys; there are in fact lots of places on the spectrum between "actively collaborating with one's oppressors" and "mounting a full-scale armed rebellion."

But on the other other hand I also think it's interesting that Adora's the only one of the three who's like "nah dude just let these people live their lives omg," something about Adora having lived in an oppressive environment for her whole childhood maybe

poor Adora someone get her an ibuprofen

Anyway Spinerella found them ack

Also Melog steals an apple for Catra, just magically takes it from someone's basket and into Catra's hand, which implies they're communicating non-verbally more than just moods, though I suppose "hungry, that apple looks good" is a mood

speaking of things that would make ANYone motion sick--

(Adora is saying it) Catra's right there, dude. You spent the last four seasons fighting her. lol.

Oh I paused it too soon lol Catra says this line:

LOLOL

Back on Horde Prime's ship, Hordak keeps looking at the chip thing Entrapta gave him and gets caught by Prime, whoopsie

oh hey, lore: Horde Prime can't access ALL the memories in his previous bodies without going into them, and he keeps his old bodies around in that green goo, that's fucking weird and gross, anyway he plugs a connection into his old body

Horde Prime: "The First Ones sought a new source of power of ancient worlds. Why? Why bend themselves to the whims of magic and myth?"

Poor Hordak has flashbacks to Entrapta and the Fright Zone. Mostly Entrapta. Including a moment of her looking at him fondly--I think it's the moment when she says "Imperfection is beautiful."

Horde Prime: "The fools took their secrets with them when they died. But I will find another way."

(I've seen a fan discussion suggest that there aren't actually any First Ones left--that when Light Hope made it so Adora came through the portal, the portal itself went back in time. I like that explanation in part because it means in my fic I don't have to figure out why Adora doesn't go looking for her birth family. Which tbh most fic-writers don't worry about anyway lol.)

Back with the rebellion, poor Catra is once again trying not to lose her lunch because they've all teleported.

And Netossa is like WTF IS THAT BITCH DOING HERE

Melog doesn't like that

Adora: "It's a long story, but she's with us now" Netossa: "...really??" (Catra in the background: hisses)

BAHAHA and then Netossa spots Wrong Hordak and they have to explain, no that one's with us, too 😬

But yeah p much the entire rebellion has been chipped except like Netossa and Perfuma

Adora and Bow have a guilt trip about having been gone for so long (...to rescue the queen! and also Catra)

and Catra's remembering what it's like to be chipped :(

Glimmer gives them all a ra-ra little speech

Adora just makes the sword appear in her hand without transforming lol that's cool

but they're doing the "I'm in" "yeah me too!" thing and

like, on dates?

(lol)

yayyy

Anyway the team heads back to Erelandia and starts kicking some ass

there's a great moment when Catra's like "you go deal with Spinnerella we'll take care of the bots" and Adora says "be careful" and Catra grins and says "always am!" like ma'am that is a LIE

Spinnerella is torturing some poor villager, and Netossa is worried her wife isn't still "in there"

Adora would know. From literal, personal experience. ;_;

She transforms into She-Ra and Netossa literally does a whistle of appreciation and says, "New look?" and She-Ra grins back. And somehow that is, like. Super queer. Like literally just one lesbian to another, in a flirty-but-not kinda way. Like I have *had* those interactions, where the underlying meaning is "I know we're each in a relationship, so I'm not actually hitting on you; but as one queer woman to another I want you to know that I see what you're putting out there and I like it." It's one of the best things??????

Netossa gives a little speech to Spinnerella about how she loves her and Spinnerella actually comes back for a few seconds ;_; but then she's gone again, but She-Ra and Netossa convince her to disappear for a while at least? And the locals rejoice.

And Catra would know. ;_; (She rubs the back of her neck after saying this.)

Anyway word gets back to Horde Prime that She-Ra is back on Etheria :D and he's so fucking pissed he's going to go there

...and Hordak spends a long moment looking at that chip from Entrapta again

They go to where the rebellion is actually hiding out, Glimmer and Catra recognize it

and I'M BLANKING ON WHY THEY'RE REACTING THIS WAY HELP seriously I have spent like ten minutes trying to figure it out, I don't think they talked about it while on Horde Prime's ship? Fuck!! IF YOU KNOW PLZ TELL ME

Any Perfuma ties them up and makes sure they're not chipped and then it's Happy Reunion Time with everyone :D

Adora to Catra: it's time for you to meet everyone Catra: are you sure??

I got that one without trying I didn't know it was coming lololol I was trying to get a shot of Catra looking hopeful

poor thing

Adora: long story but she's with us now!!!

Adora (well, as She-Ra) gives them all a little pep talk

ANNND EPISODE OVER

and I don't have time to do another one tonight and I won't have time tomorrow until like after 6:30pm aaaaaaugh

ON THE UPSIDE I only work two days this upcoming week.

Because it's Holy Week. I'm going to be in church like every day starting Wednesday and twice a couple of days ahahaha including an hour in the middle of the night on Thursday.

It is DEEPLY HILARIOUS to me that I'm going to end up watching the last episodes of She-Ra mere days before Easter. Like I literally have four left. Assuming I watch one tomorrow, I could end up watching the next one Tuesday night and watching the last two BEFORE GOING TO CHURCH ON WEDNESDAY how tf am I gonna focus for SHIT lolol

[wannaliveattheholidayinn]

alright uh,,, lab rats elite force headcanons in 2023? ... you bet jesus fucking christ

(before i continue, i should just say, a lot of these are very surface level, it's been years since i've seen a single episode of lref, lab rats, or mighty med, and though i've been wanting to rewrite lref since 2016 (i mean jeez, how much i want to rewrite it is in my gd ao3 profile), i've almost certainly forgot important and not so important beats of the story, so i apologize in advance, ty)

okay, number one, starting off very strong, they are all el gee bee tee

chase is gay. and probably trans, but idk. anyways, this feels obvious lol. he/they pronouns bree is a trans lesbian ✌️ she transitioned when she was younger and either genuinely thought she was bisexual until she realized she just wasn't into men OR had some serious comphet, likely enforced by the fact most portrayals that she saw of trans women were still attracted to men so... yeah. either way, she realized she's a lesbian before the show starts. she/her pronouns oliver is bisexual and nonbinary <3 he/him pronouns, but he's definitely warming up to using they/them too kaz is trans and bisexual. completely gone for chase, def had a thing for oliver during mighty med, probably had a brief thing for bree before realizing she's a lesbian, and has never had a thing for skylar, but he would marry her for the joke. he/him pronouns skylar is demiromantic, demisexual, bisexual, and nonbinary. i have very strong feelings on all of these and will not elaborate. she/they pronouns

kaz and chase have a very obvious thing for each other. everyone knows but them type beat. except they do know. they're just too big of idiots to actually do anything about it

bree pretty much swore off relationships after everything that happened at bionic island

bree and skylar have hooked up despite this

oliver and skylar do enter a relationship at a point (later in the series/timeline), but are very quiet about. no one except kaz has caught on yet. kaz simply knows them too well and figured it out like the day after they officially got together

definitely a bit of a sub-point to the last hc, but oliver is not creepy! he does not harass the girl he likes, is not stalkerish towards her! they simply acknowledge he has feelings for her and don't let it interfere with their friendship. when she gets together with him, it's bc she genuinely likes him and wants to be in a relationship with him !!

(i'm very sorry for that whole spiel on skoliver, but they are the first real couple i shipped in anything except for maybe like,,, phinabella, so i am attached to them and because i can shape canon how i want to, i will put them in a happy, healthy, quiet relationship :))

on a similar note, that i'm pretty sure was established in the last point, but i want to drive the point home, oliver is closer to what he was in mighty med then in lref. he has a feelings journal :) he's just a silly guy who's completely gone for a pretty girl person alien :) who can't relate to that?

they all have trauma :) every single one of them :)

bree and chase have pretty much accepted that no matter how close they get to the trio, they'll really never have any sort of relationship like the three have with each other, and they've sort of figured that may be a good thing

(if the last point's unclear, i can elaborate later, but it's late when i'm writing this so,,, yea)

bree and skylar swear like sailors

oliver's mom is the one who destroyed mighty med bc it makes no gd sense to me that she didn't

kaz and chase plan out and choreograph having huge fights in the shared spaces (i.e. kitchen, living room, mission command) and the other three are getting sick of it

yes, one of the sessions where they plan out their Biggest Fight Yet, is when they get together

this is kinda a given, but kaz, oliver, and skylar all drop out

they get GEDs

bree likes to experiment with skylar's hair

bree gave skylar a wolf cut

and then dyed about 50% of their hair pink

return of the pink hair

jewish oliver. i have very strong feelings on this. he's jewish <3

kaz and skylar don't totally get it (bc cultural xianity (altho based on how long kaz has known oliver, he def gets some of it) and she's an alien from a planet with presumably no organized religions), but they are very supportive :)

saw someone say on this very website that leo sends very detailed emails/texts about what he and adam are up to every week, and bree texts like two sentence recaps of a month, and i couldn't agree more however, it must be said, bree and chase miss their brothers and video call with them every chance they get

that's all i got rn besties. will i ever actually rewrite lab rats elite force? only time will tell, but for now... here's this <3

[hamartia-grander]

OKAY so I finally did my own run of the Hunger Games simulator. I’m just gonna put all of them in one post but under the Keep Reading so I don’t take up anyone’s dashboard. Not because I’m nice or anything but because I’m too lazy to keep reblogging my own post. Anyways. @itsybitsybatsyspider and @detroitbecomeonline this is for you nerds

My cast is: DISTRICT 1: Connor, Nines. DISTRICT 2: Gavin, Hank. DISTRICT 3: Kara, Alice. DISTRICT 4: North, Simon. DISTRICT 5: Chloe, Kamski. DISTRICT 6: Markus, Leo. DISTRICT 7: Josh, Echo. DISTRICT 8: Luther, Zlatko. DISTRICT 9: Sixty, Tina. DISTRICT 10: Shaolin, Fowler. DISTRICT 11: Rose, Ralph. DISTRICT 12: Jerry, Amanda.

None of the districts or characters are determined on any actual canon I just put them in randomly lol

As the tributes stand on their podiums, the horn sounds.

North scares Gavin away from the cornucopia. (yeah)

Zlatko runs into the cornucopia and hides.

Amanda grabs a backpack and retreats.

Leo takes a spear from inside the cornucopia.

Fowler sets an explosive off, killing Ralph. (NAUR)

Connor snatches a bottle of alcohol and a rag.

Luther scares Markus away from the cornucopia. (lmfao real)

Hank runs away from the Cornucopia.

Kara grabs a shield leaning on the cornucopia.

Alice runs away from the Cornucopia.

Echo runs away from the Cornucopia.

Josh gathers as much food as he can.

Chloe runs away from the Cornucopia.

Simon scares Jerry away from the cornucopia.

Kamski finds a canteen full of water.

Tina kills Sixty with a hatchet. (NOOO SIXTY😭)

Rose runs away from the Cornucopia.

Nines breaks Shaolin's nose for a basket of bread. (dear lord that bread basket amiright)

North constructs a shack.

Zlatko makes a slingshot.

Markus begs for Kamski to kill him. He refuses, keeping Markus alive. (oh thank fuck. Makes sense though I mean Kamski’s not gonna want to kill his creation. I think.)

Leo and Echo work together for the day.

Josh camouflauges himself in the bushes.

Connor practices his archery.

Nines questions his sanity.

Simon overhears Fowler and Gavin talking in the distance. (They’re discussing Gavin’s bad behaviour in the workplace)

Kara chases Tina. (Get her girl)

Hank steals from Chloe while she isn't looking. (HANK YOU BITCH)

Shaolin receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.

Amanda hunts for other tributes.

Rose receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.

Jerry begs for Luther to kill him. He refuses, keeping Jerry alive. (aw)

Alice receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor. (who giving a 9yo an explosive🤨)

2 cannon shots can be heard in the distance.

Ralph, District 11. Sixty, District 9. So sad.

Kara and Markus sleep in shifts. (FUCK YES MY TWO FAVES)

Zlatko, Shaolin, and Rose get into a fight. Zlatko triumphantly kills them both. (NOOO)

Gavin goes to sleep. (for once)

Leo tries to sing himself to sleep.

Hank stabs Tina in the back with a trident. (Hank is so mean in this)

Chloe, Connor, Echo, and Alice sleep in shifts.

North, Jerry, and Kamski sleep in shifts.

Amanda and Nines huddle for warmth. (Nines would be mom’s favourite)

Luther climbs a tree to rest.

Simon receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor.

Fowler attempts to start a fire, but is unsuccessful.

Josh receives fresh food from an unknown sponsor.

Kamski chases Chloe. (HELPSFJGDH)

Kara is pricked by thorns while picking berries.

Gavin tends to Josh's wounds. (???? OKAY)

Fowler steals from Nines while he isn't looking.

Simon thinks about home.

Zlatko sprains his ankle while running away from Leo.

Amanda kills Markus with a hatchet. (NOOOOOOO she would tho)

North and Echo hunt for other tributes. (Oh my God. Holy fuck. Oh my. Ima need to sit down a moment. Holy shit. Oh my God. Not to be a lesbian but oh my fucking god. oh my god. jesus fucking christ. Imagine these two hunting you down. Nah I’d roll over and let them have at me. Holy fucking shit.)

Jerry tries to spear fish with a trident.

Alice and Luther fight Hank and Connor. Alice and Luther survive. (SO DID THEY KILL HANK AND CONNOR??? LMAO)

6 cannon shots can be heard in the distance.

Shaolin, District 10. Rose, District 11. Tina, District 9. Markus, District 6 (crying). Hank, District 2. Connor, District 1 (I hope Alice killed him).

Zlatko begs for Nines to kill him. He refuses, keeping Zlatko alive. (Damnit, Nines)

Leo cries himself to sleep.

Chloe, Josh, Echo, and Jerry tell each other ghost stories to lighten the mood.

Amanda decapitates North with a sword. (OH MY GOD NOOOOOO NORTH MY BELOVEEDD she’d wanna get killed by a sword tho tbh)

Kara lets Kamski into her shelter. (Kara baby nooo)

Fowler tries to sing himself to sleep.

Simon, Luther, and Alice get into a fight. Simon triumphantly kills them both. (SIMON WHY)

Gavin sees a fire, but stays hidden. (coward bitch)

Gavin steals from Zlatko while he isn't looking.

Chloe collects fruit from a tree.

Jerry tends to Echo's wounds. (he would)

Fowler, Amanda, Kara, and Nines raid Leo's camp while he is hunting. (LMFAOOO)

Josh receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.

Simon and Kamski hunt for other tributes.

3 cannon shots can be heard in the distance.

North, District 4 (screaming crying sobbing throwing up). Luther, District 8. Alice, District 3. This is the worst.

Kamski receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.

Kara bashes Leo's head against a rock several times. (OMFG SDGHJSHDAH SHE WOULD)

Jerry, Fowler, Simon, and Nines sleep in shifts. (Everyone who teams with Simon is in danger)

Echo thinks about winning.

Josh sees a fire, but stays hidden.

Zlatko lets Amanda into his shelter.

Gavin cooks his food before putting his fire out.

Chloe sees a fire, but stays hidden.

Gavin makes a slingshot.

Chloe diverts Josh's attention and runs away.

Amanda injures herself.

Kamski goes hunting.

Fowler, Echo, and Nines hunt for other tributes.

Simon sprains his ankle while running away from Kara. (ar naur)

Jerry is pricked by thorns while picking berries.

Zlatko tries to sleep through the entire day.

1 cannon shot can be heard in the distance.

Leo, District 6.

Zlatko cooks his food before putting his fire out.

Kara, Josh, Simon, and Fowler sleep in shifts.

Jerry shoots an arrow into Amanda's head. (JERRY OH MY GOD???)

Echo sets Chloe on fire with a molotov. (NO ECHO HOW COULD YOU)

Nines begs for Kamski to kill him. He refuses, keeping Nines alive.

Gavin is unable to start a fire and sleeps without warmth. (lmfao bitch)

Kara, Josh, and Nines hunt for other tributes. (Now there’s KARA HUNTING??? Holy fucking shit. not to be a lesbian bu)

Kamski tries to spear fish with a trident.

Jerry attacks Fowler, but he manages to escape.

Gavin discovers a river.

Zlatko poisons Simon's drink. He drinks it and dies. (NOOOO)

Echo dies from thirst. (That is so sad)

4 cannon shots can be heard in the distance.

Amanda, District 12. Chloe, District 5. Simon, District 4. Echo, District 7.

Kamski questions his sanity.

Fowler screams for help.

Nines receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.

Kara stays awake all night.

Gavin and Jerry talk about the tributes still alive.

Josh passes out from exhaustion. (pfft)

Zlatko cooks his food before putting his fire out.

The cornucopia is replenished with food, supplies, weapons, and memoirs from the tributes' families.

Kamski sets an explosive off, killing Kara, Jerry, and Nines. (NO NO NO NO KARA MY FAVOURITE MY MOST DEARLY BELOVED I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU😭😭😭)

Zlatko decides not to go to The Feast.

Josh bashes Gavin's head against a rock several times. (HAHSFHSJDHG FUCK YES)

Fowler cannot handle the circumstances and commits suicide. (NAUURR)

Zlatko and Kamski work together for the day.

Josh travels to higher ground. (“I have the high ground!”)

The remaining tributes begin to hallucinate.

Zlatko survives.

Kamski survives.

Josh survives.

5 cannon shots can be heard in the distance.

Kara, District 3 (😭😭😭). Jerry, District 12. Nines, District 1. Gavin, District 2. Fowler, District 10

Kamski looks at the night sky.

Zlatko and Josh run into each other and decide to truce for the night.

Zlatko stalks Kamski.

Josh cannot handle the circumstances and commits suicide. (NO NOT JOSH)

1 cannon shot can be heard in the distance.

Josh, District 7.

Kamski severely injures Zlatko and leaves him to die. (OH MY GOD WAIT-)

The winner is Kamski from District 5! (helpdfjgkdjh)

Not what I was expecting lmao. This is literally just the Kamski ending.

[cloud-ya]

what are your thoughts on (a possible) playable Sirin? (I wanted to ask because fuck I really won't forgive hoyo if they make her another "eysia-inspired-cutie" or smth) (also i would like to say a big thank you for your elysia hate tag because you are really the only person in my circle who hates elysia as much as i do, i really don't understand why everyone loves her so much (omg pink lesbian 😍😍)

last night I had a dream that there was a leak of playable sirin chibi running around with other yet-to-be-released chibis and she had her hair in a bun

I really do hope they won't fuck her up with the palette. she already has white-purple-gold/orange colour scheme, just not obnoxiously pastel

also lol no problem, it's really unusual to see someone not tolerating elysia huh. sorry not sorry but I keep the title of lesbian jesus to kallen

[teecupangel]

I'M WILL GOING BUCK WILD WITH THIS PLOT LMAO

Ah, ah! I was reading stuff on The Old Guard tag and now all I can think of is

Kassandra as Andy cause she is literally older than Jesus fucking Christ

Altaïr & Ezio as Nick & Joe cause WHY NOT

Arno as Booker cause he's a bloody drama queen

F!Eivor as Noriko cause DRAMA

Desmond as Nile cause they're BAMF and all come together on a AltEziDes with Arno suffering on the background and Kass looking like a proud lesbian mama lol

Bayek would be a good Andy too, and Connor and Shay also give me NickJoe vibes lol

Ooohhh, I’m always game to think about immortality-based plotlines XD

Kassandra as Andy would be spot on, especially if F!Eivor is Noriko/Quynh. Although, instead of a Labyrs, her main weapons would be the pointed tip of a spear and a Viking axe. She’d also be more on the calm chill side and happens to like to tease her fellow immortals. (To make it more interesting, maybe F!Eivor and her also met in the Isle of Skye and their relationship blossomed there as well)

Altaïr and Ezio as Nick and Joe would be a pretty fun pairing as well, especially if we keep Altaïr’s whole ‘distant and kinda arrogant’ personality. Ezio would be the one to remind him if he’s being too rude, sometimes with just a touch, because, even if they’ve been immortals for so long, some habits are hard to let go of. Ezio likes to joke that Altaïr is a work in progress which everyone knows is his way of saying Altaïr is trying. Altaïr, on the other hand, may act aloof most of the time but he’s quite protective of Ezio and there is no one in the world he trusts more than Ezio. Their personalities tend to clash at times and everyone knows that they sometimes spend half a century or so apart because of some dumb fight neither of them wanted to acknowledge responsibility with. It’s just become part of their whole deal that everyone just nods along to. Then Desmond comes in.

Arno as Booker would work. Just replace the death of Booker’s sons with Élise’s death (for more pain, maybe imply that Élise may have been or may have not been pregnant during the time of her death).

But you know who else could work as Booker? Haytham Kenway. Instead of being part of Napoleon’s army, keep his whole deal, including his actions to help the British Empire. But this time, he is the one to kill his own son instead. The American Revolution still played as history had recorded it so Haytham has to live his immortal life with the guilt of killing his son for nothing. He’d also be the most aloof of the Immortals and perhaps even be jealous of how ‘easy’ it is for everyone to move on. (Plus points if he treats Desmond the way he treats his son before and he only realizes it when Desmond tells him to stop treating him like an idiot, only digging in the guilt of how his relationship with his son was).

Eivor as Quynh/Noriko also gives us an excuse to… well, torture Eivor. While her imprisonment would be of a similar fate to Quynh/Noriko, we can include her being subjected to a blood eagle in Odin’s name. If you want to hammer in the angst, make Sigurd the one to do it. Of course, if Eivor and Kassandra met on the Isle of Skye, the events of Eivor’s life would have to be shuffled around to make it more coherent. Her imprisonment could be because of Sigurd or because of the Saxons.

And then there was Desmond. One main difference between Desmond and Nile would be their attachment to people. If we keep Desmond’s strained relationship with his parents, he would actually be more open to being immortal. He would hide his desire for a connection with practiced smiles and his chill personality although he wouldn’t fool Kassandra. It would be his desire for a connection but hiding it from everyone that makes it easy for him to fall for both Altaïr and Ezio. Neither of them planned to fall in love with Desmond, maybe they even started out a relationship with him as more of something fun and uncomplicated (like having the immortal version of an ongoing sexual and emotional threesome) which Desmond was cool with (he didn’t expect to fall for them too) while they’re teaching him the ropes and helping him acclimate with his newfound immortality. It would only be later that they would realize that Desmond is like the missing piece in their life.

Other possible ideas:

Ratonhnhaké:ton and Shay giving off Nick and Joe vibes? Color me intrigued. This one also has the additional emotional baggage of Shay being employed by Haytham who Ratonhnhaké:ton killed so, like… they say their relationship is ‘complicated’ and that would be an understatement.

If Arno is Booker, he would have had a relationship with Jacob Frye. Maybe his relationship with Jacob is what helps him move on from the pain of Élise’s death but Jacob isn’t an immortal soooo… (holy wow, Arno has, like, the short end of the stick in this one if he’s an immortal. Haytham doesn’t count, he deserves to feel the guilt)

Bayek would definitely be a good Andy as well. If you go for Bayek instead, Quynh/Noriko would have to be Aya. Although, if you just want Bayek to be included in the plot, he could be Lykon instead? Another possible Lykon is Alexios/Deimos as well and that would definitely be some angst for Kassandra.

Of course, Merrick would be Vidic, hahaha. Maybe Copley could be Layla or even Lucy?

Why are they immortals? Why do we need to explain that? Let’s keep it a mystery but make vague points of how it might be connected with some kind of Isu research to achieve eternal life.

[menalez]

jesus christ this is embarassing. this is why this movement hasn't gone anywhere for the past 20 years in the imperial core and isn't changing anytime soon. you're arguing and harassing a woman over a poorly worded comment she's clarified and even apologized for multiple times while the misogynist woman who ACTUALLY INSULTED MOTHERS is barely mentioned. i'm a lesbian: for as long as this stupid "osa vs lesbians" slapstick rivalry founded in poor communication and online brainrot continues yall aren't changing shit in the real world. every month, every week even, yall argue over the same damn topics women in the fucking 70s did, except then they at least had to face eachother when arguing, had to come to an actual fucking conclusion, and they did, they wrote books and essays which none of yall read because you think you're the first women in history to be enlightened enough to disagree with other feminists. honest to god i think y'all should split up at this point, at least then you won't be so busy calling eachother breeders and man-lite you forget your basic human rights are being taken away right outside your window.

she made several comments and the doubled down on it and continued to do so. meanwhile my “harassment”:

like i was more than nice lol but sure, feminism isn’t going anywhere bc lesbians aren’t gonna constantly overlook lesbophobia ig. u can go check the tags missourigynoid or missouriangothic to see that the “misogynist woman” has been criticised by me constantly for 2 years lol. funnily enough i was also accused of harassment by her