#whos gonna stop me? theres no one else in this fandom

[jams-sims]

Tanzawa: Wha- what the fuck is he talking about?

Iguchi: Imma need you to translate-

Tati: Oh he on that bullshit.

Iguchi: I understand completly now

[autistic-katara]

ok i might get blocked by a couple ppl for saying this but the Jackson’s Diary fandom is seriously making me wanna become a proshipper out of spite (read the post before blocking me or whatever please)

like idk if u guys have checked the fandom tag on ao3 recently but theres been a bit of drama surrounding the fact that someone posted a smut-fic of Exer (an 18yo) and David (an almost 18yo, who was aged up A FEW MONTHS for the fic) and they were harassed into taking it down and making a fucking apology post ON AO3, THE PROBLEMATIC FANWORKS WEBSITE.

and this fic was tagged 100% correctly like it was very explicitly tagged as smut n stuff yet there were still a bunch of comments being like “uhm what did i just read 🤨” and when i made a comment defending the authors right to yk, not be harassed for making not even rlly problematic content someone who clearly would suffer withdrawal symptoms if they turned twitter off for too long started arguing with me abt how “erm ackhtually we should be allowed to comment harassment under ppls harmless and explicitly tagged fics cause theres no smut in this fandom and it shocked us” and u could just rlly tell they felt they were more righteous than God in their opinions and yeah so cut to tonight when i’m scrolling through the tag and i see a post titled “i’m so sorry” in which the author made a post basically being like “i’m so sorry for posting that ik it was disgusting it has been permanently deleted” which in the comments a few ppl were telling them that what happened sucked n stuff (myself included // judging by their reply they only did this to stop the harassment which yk, completely fair) and i went back to scrolling since i wanted an actual fic not fandom drama but like 2 posts down there was another post titled “please stop” or smthn like that where someone else made a post basically being like “guyssss can we please not write smut of these characters this fandom is so wholesome i dont wanna ruin it 🥺 anyways sorry this isnt a fic this just needed to be said lol” and like dude, my guy, WHAT THE FUCK?!

this is AO3, this is a fanwork archive that as far as i know was created (at least partially) due to the fact that ppl kept getting their “problematic” works taken down from other sites and the creators wanted to yk archive all fanworks. this is NOT a social media site where u can make callout posts abt how what someone else posted disturbed ur pure wholesome chaste scrolling by daring to uploaded something with *gasp* consensual sex between 2 consenting adults?! (or canonically 1 consenting adult and 1 consenting gonna-be-an-adult-in-a-few-months-but-isnt-much-younger-than-the-first-guy but u get the idea)

like guys, ao3 is not twitter. it is not tiktok, it is not tumblr, its not youtube, its not even wattpad. it is not a social media platform, it is a fanwork archive, specifically one that lets u post whatever kinda content u want (yes, even smthn depicting 2 consenting adult/almost adult participates that are in no way related having sex, ik its crazy what they allow online these days).

and look honestly the callout post wouldn’tve annoyed me this much if it was posted on yk an actual social media. like if it was posted on twitter or tiktok or on youtube as a video essay or even on here, like sure if i saw it id be annoyed that this fandom cant handle the tiniest bit of non-puritanicalism and fuck, maybe if it was on here id even drag myself into a pointless days-long argument that causes me suicidal levels of stress but on archive of our fucking own itself?! for the millionth time, IT IS NOT A SOCIAL MEDIA! u dont make posts like that that u want the rest of the fandom to read or whatever on there because its not that kinda website!

anyways yeah i hope i explained the situation ok, u might be able to check it out urself if u feel like it and yeah idk this whole thing just kinda felt like a wake-up call for me like yes i find incest and pedophilia disgusting OBVIOUSLY and i dont like ppl romanticising it in fiction but idk i’ve seen ppl talk abt toxic antis before and show screenshots of conversations where theyve acted super shitty but idk seeing this all unfold in person and having to argue with these hardcore antis just- i dont wanna be associated with these ppl, if these are what alotta antis r like i dont want anyone to assume i agree with them like at all, whether its other antis, proshippers, or ppl like me who have a super complicated opinion on it. like they harassed a person into taking down their smut and made call-out posts on ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN abt how they dont want their wholesome pure fandom corrupted by gross dirty irredeemable sex. and just yeah hope no mutuals i seriously care abt unmoot or even block me over this since ik a few of u r antis but yeah srry for this i just kinda seriously hate this fandom right now :)

also incase anyone is typing out a “kill yourself pedo” reply/rb rn; i turn 15 on Friday, i am 2+ years younger than ur innocent bb minor boy David and his definitely not already a legal adult boyfriend Exer so yk

[princeanxious]

Hi! I was wondering about your Lost Guardian au from ages ago, do you think you’ll ever plan on updating it and if not, could someone else take up the fic?

So heres the thing. If someone wants to write a fic *inspired* by The Lost Guardian, i’m not gonna stop them, and i’d probably feel super honored so long as the inspiration was correctly credited!

As for ‘taking up the fic,’ the short answer is no.

I have active drafts and the rest of the story already planned out to its finish, notes, even a branch-off fic set post-story that will likely go up on my nsfw blog if i ever get around to editing it. The Lost Guardian hasn’t been abandoned, it’s simply on hiatus. (And yes, i recognize 3 almost 4 years so far is a really fucking long hiatus. The Chapter 9 draft doc was made in december of 2020, and last edited in July 2022)

I started writing that fic whilst still in highschool, a time where I was 17 and didnt have to worry yet about getting my license or maintaining a part time job, i had an over abundance of freetime even partially to my detriment, the fandom was booming and I had plenty of feedback, and this fic was (and still *is*) a story im proud of.

But i’m 22 now, working a full time job to pay rent and account for a number of minor ‘disabilities’(best word i have for them atm) that I cant ignore or push to the side nor treat poorly, from the lasting effects on my body of stunted growth to celiac/glutent intolerance to adhere to that directly determines how easily my body functions for the week, to dealing with glasses i cannot afford to break and taking care of teeth i cannot afford to fix, taking care of my mental health and using the free time i have to do what brings me the most joy at that time.

The sanders sides fandom has heavily quieted down with the season finale hiatus and I’d like to think I did pretty well for going six long years dedicated solely to that without cracking under the silence, because *I knew* when I caved to something else it’d be a long while before I had the drive to come back with any sort of resolution to my active works. Thats just how my hyper fixations work. I cannot focus on multiple at once, it’s too much to process simultaneously and takes away my enjoyment bc I tend to watch/consume things repeatedly to catch every little detail i missed. And it doesn’t help when one loses steam because their content barely breaks 100 notes(80% of which are likes, 15% are reblogs with the occasional comment, and 5% are self-reblogs) when back in the height of it all, a few thousand notes was pretty average interaction. This blog still has about 11.5k followers, almost all of which came from the height of the fandom period. So for now i’ve moved onto the FNAF DCA fandom, bc it is fresh and new to me.

I know you didn’t mean to poke the bear here, I get it, but like.. C’mon. Any other fic of mine likely wouldn’t have gotten the same reaction in full but, still. I’ve had to answer this question a handful of times over the years at the point, which might be why this response feels so charged, and i’m sorry.

I don’t mean to come off as snippy or rude, but it *is* kind of invasive to offer to finish one’s creative work when it’s taking too long and theres very little payback for it. I’ve got adhd, delayed satisfaction isn’t a thing I experience. Just guilt that it wasn’t finished in a way for me to post it in time before I broke and lost all motivation to share it.

In my head, TLG has been long finished and held the ending for years, theres just been no energy to put in the effort of finish writing it for others to read. I’m still trying to get my life together to change that, don’t get me wrong, but the American economy is literally in shambles so who knows how or even if i’ll manage that. Call me selfish for being content with only mentally having my creative story’s ending and a collection of rambles and notes to show for it, but at the end of the day, it’s still my story, and i dont feel comfortable with people trying to ‘take up the mantle’ to finish it, when they don’t know how it ends.

I’m glad you like it enough to want to, though, I really *really* am. I’m just sorry I haven’t been able to finish it for you all. And i just don’t know when that will be, I just know that I *want* to do so, however long it takes.

[iwasbored777]

so ur trolls posts got me to watch trolls world tour again. i remembered liking it but i couldnt remember why, but now i know for sure

I FCUKING LOVE TROLLS WORLD TOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL THE INCREDIBLE WRITERS WERE SECRETLY ON TROLLS 2 !!!!!!’n

I CANT TBINK OF A SINGLE FLAW IN TROLLS WOULD TOUR!!!!!!!

i was NOT expecting a brilliantly written masterpiece about colonialism, but thats what i got, and its going in the greatest of all time hall of fame in my brain forever.

im not gonna sit here and regale you on the message of the movie. they only said fax, no printer, and its an important message to send kids. alot of the messages kids get about races and borders is “we are all the same 😚” but they came in with the “we are NOT the same and that is both good and bad, both exciting and dangerous so you need to be aware of dangerous ideas of “harmony”” and thats so real. kids need to understand differences are OK.

i love how they backed off the “chosen one” vibe poppy had in the first movie and talked about her flaws as a leader. while her stubborness was a good thing in the first movie to contrast branches pessimistic nature, it wouldnt have worked here, and i can see a cheap writer (like m*chael w*ldron) either insisting she gets away with her selfishness and carrying on with the happy ending anyway, or pretending that wasnt a character trait at all (because w*ldron doesnt watch the first movie and writes a sequel anyway)

my favorite scene is the bubble scene and the woods right after they leave funk where branch confronts poppy. do i even need to tell you why?

i just want to mention it because im pretty sure branch sings a cover of “girl crush” by little big town, which is a country band, and branch said he likes country music earlier and that slays. but when poppy comes in, what they sing is definitley not girl crush, and i cant tell if its giving “trolls can mix music” or im completley wrong and its a different song alltogether. but i cant tell if that song is homophobic or is super gay, so if im wrong thats prob for the best.

the only flaw i can think of is the country music, as a midwestern i can confidently say that was an affront to real blue grass country music. i guess born to die “works” but it didnt represent country as well as the other genres did. theres alot of controversy in the country music fandom with alot of singers who sound exactly the same and produced like its a factory line. but even if people still think miranda lambert and carrie underwood arent true country singers, their songs wouldve worked better than born to die. also the country trolls shouldve been on a self sufficient farm instead of the wild west. that wild western jazzy piano and country music isnt the same.

the only bad part about the movie is that it ended and barb ATE. SHE LEFT NO CRUMBS WITH THAT INTRO. send ask.

Lol I love your review. I love Trolls World Tour a lot too and all their other movies. Great stuff.

And yeah I love Poppy and how she can accomplish A LOT but she doesn't make it on her own, she needs character development and help from others just like everyone else. Characters are surprisingly realistic.

Barb really was goat, the best antagonist in the franchise. I love parallels between her and Poppy, how both had different intentions (Poppy wanted to help and Barb wanted to conquer) but Poppy's method was also wrong and both Poppy and Barb and everyone had to make compromises for all tribes to live in harmony because no one has to change their lifestyle for that to happen, all they have to do is accept that they're different and that's perfect. Just be yourself and let others be themselves.

That song in the end (Just Sing) slaps hard (and so does Can't Stop The Feeling btw).

P.S. Tiny Diamond fucking slays 🔥🔥🔥

[rachelcommitscrimes]

im gonna rant abt how much i hate the ghost eyes fandom (as a former fan) bc im just kinda mad rn

so uhh yeah major TW for s3lf h4rm, romanticizing mental illness, su1c1de, sadomasochism, infantilization, and rlly just anything related to that

(also sorry if this looks weird idk how to separate stuff on tumblr)

also DO NOT harass the creator or anyone mentioned here, you’re no better than them if you do that

——————————————————————————

ok so i read ghost eyes like 2 years ago but i stopped reading about the point where they were on that field trip. i still think it’s a nice comic and i’m sure the author is a cool person, also the art style is awesome. but the fandom is so fucking gross that i’m surprised more people haven’t talked about it. 

for some backstory on this, i used have REALLY bad depression and was cutting myself regularly (i’m much better now, i have medication, therapy, and i’m almost a year clean) i also stopped reading due to the comic severely damaging my mental health and i’m very glad i did. i was younger and immature and thought i could handle such content. this led to me becoming extremely obsessed with the comic to an unhealthy level, and getting severely attached to one of the characters (rudy) because i could relate to him at that time. i seriously thought that i WAS him sometimes.

i understand now that i should NOT have ignored the label and what i did was definitely wrong and if the creator is reading this i deeply apologize. i’m in a much better place now and i’m just glad that i was able to get the help i needed.

ok now to the angry part

if you don’t know what ghost eyes is, it’s a webcomic about a severely traumatized boy attending school for the first time and meeting a bunch of other severely traumatized kids. this comic has a crap ton of triggering/sensitive/disturbing topics (which is not a bad thing as long as you do it right) and like i said before, the creator has kindly put a warning before the comic starts stating that you SHOULD NOT romanticize/idolize/sexualize/kin any of the characters, do not read unless you can handle such topics, and so forth. now i know i should have definitely put the comic down before and not gotten obsessed over it, but i knew damn well enough that it was messed up to romanticize/sexualize any of the characters/things that happened in the book.

there are several scenes in which a character is self harming or harming someone else, and the comments will say shit like “nooo my poor bean” “awww baby don’t do that” or my personal favorite “protect the smol bean.” first of all, the characters are like 16-17, second of all, i cannot even tell you how fucked up it is that people see someone ruining their lives and putting themselves in danger and think it’s “cute” or “anxiety smol bean uwu” THERES LITERALLY A SCENE WHERE SOMEONE IS GETTING STABBED AND PPL ARE DRAWING THIS MF IN A MAID DRESS.

another reason i despise these fans is that they see an abusive relationship and start making ships/kinning them. as someone who has gone through pretty much everything rudy has gone through, i cant tell you how irritating it is to see people shipping him with his abuser or calling him a “cutie patootie masochist boi uwu” cause lemme tell you what-it doesnt feel good to have to put your health in danger and ruin your relationships with others just so you can get off somehow. ITS NOT FUN. the whole point of rudy’s character is to not romanticize someones fucked up mental health.

i could spend hours talking about this group of immature brats, but i’m tired and it’s a school night and i have a test tomorrow. i might add on if i feel like i need to but overall i really hope those immature fans grow up and realize their mistakes like i did, or get the help they need.

[littlelcvestory]

thank you @wesperbrekkered for tagging me even though im so inactive on like all my fandom accounts 😭😭😭

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

i have 13 :)

2. What is your AO3 word count?

29,858 words 😭 thats kinda crazy for me ngl

3. What fandoms do you write for? 

my main is six of crows! my ao3 still has my fics from when i wrote solangelo tho lmao

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

sparks fly (whenever you smile) with 268 (wesper)

we were in screaming color with 244 (solangelo)

Doctor Death (god this fic is so old i hate it 😭) with 236 (solangelo)

i wanna teach you how forever feels with 221 (wesper)

time can't stop me quite like you did with 205 (i wrote this for a school assignment, it's from the book they both die at the end)

i strongly dislike this list mainly because of solangelo being on there and how long ago i wrote those fics because theyre really bad now 😭 perhaps leave more kudos on my wesper fics :)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? 

YES it makes me so happy that people enjoyed what i wrote. i'd like to say it's author fuel but i have not touched any of my fics since august but they ARE author serotonin

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

it's either time can't stop me quite like you did (because he literally d!es) but none of my SoC fics have angsty endings, because none of them have endings. haha

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

uhh i'd say it would be i wanna teach you how forever feels purely because it's a cute domestic post-ck wesper

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i dont think im widespread enough to have haters on my fics tbh 😭

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

nope, i am literally 16 !! although i have written a few very intimate passages but theres also taught you the way you call me baby which is the closest i'll ever get for now

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

my wesper romeo and juliet au like fire and powder that i havent touched since august! this was like my most big brain idea ever but i'm torn between discarding it and starting from scratch or continuing as it is right now

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

i dont think so, and i hope not !

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

no :)

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

also no

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship? 

wesper. next!

15. What’s a WIP you’d like to finish but doubt you ever will?

THE ROMEO AND JULIET AU I AM CRYING i need to continue it as soon as possible oh lord

16. What are your writing strengths?

not sure tbh! i do find writing dialogue easy but it also leads to my downfall sometimes which i'll explain in the next question

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

inner monologues, because they jump around too much and i eventually stray from the original thought. or anything thats not closely tied to a character ... i'm really strong with character driver things but if you hand me a plot, i'm gonna struggle (which may be why the r&j au is failing LMAO) and how i said with dialogue, it ends up being dry and makes the scene move a little too fast. i'm really bad at slowing down scenes 😭

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? 

never done it before hehe

19. First fandom you wrote for?

percy jackson, i think

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

my romeo and juliet au because its the most ambitious thing i ever tried to accomplish. i really want to get back to it because i'm still so intrigued by the idea of it and i was shocked i wrote 10k for the first chapter but it felt like it was being squeezed out of me... i'll do my best to get back to writing i've had insane weiters block (no thanks to school 🙄)

thanks for tagging me rae :) i'm tagging @artsypretzel @jazzythursday and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it :)

[iamreadytoforgiveyou]

💚 from the ask game

💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?

I'll start with my fav from my 2021 rewatch sokka/ and that is simply that he is gay./gay for zuko . I don't get it I'll never really get it sokka was the staightest boy in the show to me as he.. gets suki/yue/even seems interested in ty lee for 3 seconds/tries to get into good graces with a girls poetry club. He was def not coded gay esp for a 2000s nicktoon. and when i came to tumblr i had hoped to find convos involving how smart /developed he was and it was nothing but zukka everywhere no mention of sokka development it was very discourging . and maybe people think im homphobic but i lean towards jetko/zukaang. zukka i barealy understand.

now lets go with Zuko and I warn people this is gonna be snarky cause i've see so many bad takes since 2020 to well the nows.

this is the BIG ONE people get wrong. because fandom is.. Afraid to acutally Like the real Zuko because the real zuko fits all the problematic scales. from Kidnapping katara/sokka/ /Extortion/Stalking the gaang to capture aang/kidnapping aang/ /sending a man to murder Aang who almost blows up Katara/Toph/ theres a reason zuko is angry at himself eh sent a man to murder Aang.. and he knows it wrong he's not stupid. he's in denial through half of s3 and living in terrible guilt from how he treated iroh/sending combustion man after aang. also Mai never abused zuko....

theres a reason people think im not a zutara shipper its bec i disagree with 99 percent of their takes. including that he was in love wiht katara the whole time Katara was never on his mind Zuko mind was: I must capture the Avatar so I can get back home and have dads love for 90 percent of the show up until the eclipse where his new goal was: Stop Ozai from killing the earth kingdom people /help Avatar he has a very one track mind when it comes to his goals.

fandom gets everything wrong with him.

Awkard turtletuck/maturedad/ maturer than Aang/ the one to save CinderKatara from abusive aang/an uncaring friend group/really loved his time in uncles tea shop/ never did anything wrong / never colonized anything/

I mean the earth kingdom didnt fall just because of azula Zuko made his choice to help her. . They colonized the both of em Ba Sin Sa. Azula gets woofied too she is def responsible for conquering the city but Zuko did help hes not innocent here but fans will def say everything he did is excused cause and azula fans have done this too. and its so .. tiresom

the idea zuko never meant to harm anyone to achieve his endgame/ He almost burnt suki and sokka had to save her. h was not above kidnapping katara to get what he wants. or knocking her out twice. The idea zuko never had any attention to harm anyone to get to Aang to get home is ludrucious. /this boy wanted to go home for 90 percent of the show.

Zuko is an impulsive teenager with a bit of an ego who looked down on the common folk for a good while thats why he robbed from earth kingdom people he felt they owed him stuff. because he was the prince of the FN. having to live among em is what helped him gain sympathy for their plight to leave the firenation so they wouldn't die.

Zuko arc is learning the fire nation is a cruel ruthless nation and his way of thinking that he's better than people is wrong. I dont think some people can reconsile low self esteem doesnt mean you can't look down on others.. Cause he did from calling katara a pesant in s1 and saying how the people in the earth kingdom should respect them to iroh in s2/ He has to learn sympathy/empathy for people outside the fire nation. . Zuko journey is to learn to be a better man. its like .. a man in his teens/early 20s learning their biggoted beliefs are nothing but bs and having to grown and improve.

. he is not without flaws in the end when he joins avatar he's still grumpy. he's awkward because he trying to befriend the people he us to hunt down so its gonna be awkward. Zuko isn't team dad. He's been adopted into the gaang.

I also disgree with haters saying Zuko should have changed 100percent into mr. calm/collected otherwise his arc is a bust. Zuko is a lot like Iago to me in turns of character changing sides with villian to the good guys. I'd rather they stay themselfs in terms of snark than became a perfect /happy sunshine attitudie character.

i just think fandom is afraid to enjoy Assholes. there i said it. I love jerks so i dont understand it. Think of Spongebob going from a square to a perfect smooth circle and that's how fandom treats Zuko in teh shipping side of things. there's a reason i never felt happy in teh zutara fandom. most people dont talk about him how i see him . but as a teenager i related to zukos anger a lot and i had to work on that anger. how zuko is treated to me feels very.... ableist to me when you try to ignore his flaws. it reads off as he's unlovable if he has any uncomfortable personality traits.

[effervescentdragon]

Re your interviewers not even sure what to ask anymore ask, that’s me but with the fandom lol. I’m literally this close to just starting to translate all of Toto’s German interviews just to feel like there is Any reason for me to still be here doing Stuff in this fandom, like what am I doing, exactly? Make predictable guesses as to who’s gonna win, only get surprised by DNFs and engine failures and battling in the mid-field, have my grandpa tell me ‘the races have really been going downhill’ and log off??

i posted sth about jude bellinghams dick game on insta on main yday and og bff asked me what im compensating for w footie posting and should he be worried abt my mental state and i said f1, because im just not incentivised to watch it anymore at the moment? im hoping it changes when races stop being so early - i am sad i missed nico's commentary the most tbh. i guess fandoms come and go and things get more and less interesting but the thing for me is - if im not enjoying it, i won't make myself watch/read/do it just because i've made it my Thing. i can have many Things. we all can. i think, when something doesn't bring joy, its good to step back. give yourself time. f1 will be there. 🫂

i also think there is this insidious thing that you have to be "productive" in a fandom, that you have to do, be doing something to justify your presence in it. i know i've felt off because im not churning out 10 ficlets a day anymore, but the fact is - you don't have to DO anything to BE in the fandom (this feels like some metaphor for life but i only took one sip of coffee today so far). fandom is about enjoyment, yohr enjoyment and sharing that enjoyment with people who also love a certain piece of media or whatever. this capitalist bullshit of treating a fandom space like it's a job (what am i contributing? have i met my quota of posting about my blorbo today? how many followers do i have?) like... who the fuck cares. i still count myself into the silm fandom and i havent posted about it in ages. doctor who, star trek, hell, fucking x men and cap america and hannibal and so many things. i am still a fan of so many things that bring me enjoyment. thats why im a fan in a fandom.

i guess what i'm teying to say is that its really hard sometimes, when you lose interest or get disheartened by someting thats brought you joy before. when you feel like you're "failing" at liking something. but i try to remember - im a person, i have interests, interests change. a thing i loved isnt that anymore. okay. not okay, but it's fine. you may find joy again, you may surorise yourself, or you may just drift to something else. you're no less you, and no less a fan, if your intensity isn't the same now as it was yesterday or a decade ago. and with f1... its changing so much that its honestly pretty understandable to feel that way. bff stopped watching during the seb era, came back when it looked like seb might win w ferrari, then skipped the whole lewis era. og bff skipped merc domination era completely. my cousins husband stopped watching the moment alonso won. ive had friends stop watching the moment max won. it happens.

what im saying, too fucking long and winded bcs apparently im in a mood today - dont force yourself into something that doesnt bring you joy. theres so much joy to be found in this world deapite everything, and you're no less you for losing an interest in a fandom.

[bookshelfdreams]

I posted 2,492 times in 2022

That's 419 more posts than 2021!

422 posts created (17%)

2,070 posts reblogged (83%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@swords-n-spindles

@mikimeiko

@bookshelfdreams

@snake-snack-stede

@knowlesian

I tagged 2,449 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#our flag means death - 1,010 posts

#esc - 340 posts

#message - 101 posts

#crafts - 101 posts

#thoughts - 74 posts

#ofmd reader - 68 posts

#german stuff - 51 posts

#!!!! - 47 posts

#anonymaus - 41 posts

#fic - 31 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#baby. theres spinning wheels for over 1000€ what makes you think you're gonna be met with thousands of ppl starved for things they can buy

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

random ofmd thought: I love that Stede is so cringe.

He's just. Awkward. Ridiculous. Unapologetically weird at all times and he never gets any cooler. Every episode has at least one Stede moment that causes me physical pain and I love that.

Because usually, if a character is this embarrassing, their arc is about learning to be less so, to be like anyone else, to be more normal, and Stede never does. He learns to be more confident, yes, but he never stops unapologetically being his awkward self, and that's so good to see? He's fine the way he is? He doesn't have to become less himself, he just has to learn how to own it better and that's so healing to see

2,133 notes - Posted May 14, 2022

#4

ofmd reader

aka Holy Shit Everyone In This Fandom Is The Smartest Person On Earth

aka a collection of my favourite meta, feel free to add your own faves!

(note that most of these don't actually have titles, I just tried my best to sum up the contents)

✬ On masculinity in ofmd by @edwardsilkheart

✬ The different genres various characters are in, and how they clash and synthesize by @fuckyeahisawthat (THIS is required reading and the reason this show works so well, all these different & contrasting flavours combined into something truly delicious. If you read nothing else on this list, read this)

✬ yk that Stede didn't actually have an evil plan to leave Ed all along right by @polyamoryprincess (on what really happened in Stede's head that night)

✬ these two posts by @mikimeiko about Ed and the mortifying ordeal of being known

✬ How does Ed like his eggs? by @forpiratereasons (on mirroring, learning how to be yourself and self-acceptance as the path to true love)

✬ Listen, I know everyone and their mother disliked Ed without the beard but I actually loved it. by @ruletogether

✬ Izzy Hands and the tenderness of violence, directed at him but not perpetuated by him by @ellicler with additional tags from @knowlesian

✬ Another one about Izzy, internalized homophobia, and subtextual queerness by @knowlesian

✬ The thing that ACTUALLY made Stede run away by @quillyfied

✬ Ed and the language of face-touching by @amuseoffyre

✬ anachronistinc costume design as a sotrytelling device by @ambassadorquark

✬ The Bathtub Scene (analyzing Ed's body language) by @orangechickenpillow plus this follow-up. I also recommend their post on clothes sharing

✬ beard media by @all-chickens-are-trans

4,851 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

#3

Crocheted Important Blue Internet Checkmark. Because why the fuck not.

(Pattern under the cut)

See the full post

4,982 notes - Posted November 11, 2022

#2

A brief conversation I had with @mikimeiko on their lovely meta about the motive of loss and abandonment made me think about miscommunication some more, and how horrible Calico Jack was to Stede.

When Stede meets Calico Jack for the first time this is what he says to him:

Who's the big gal?

Off to a terrible start, and it only goes downhill from there.

As others have pointed out, this is a very mean thing to say in general and absolutely unacceptable to say to a queer man in particular, and Ed knows that. He's trying to do damage control

See the full post

7,364 notes - Posted April 13, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

oh but I adore how everyone in this stupid pirate show is just a guy

I haven't seen ppl talk about it much but. the absolute lack of shredded abs. people show tummy and cleavage and there's not the barest hint of muscle definition anywhere

obviously some of them are very fit but it never leaves "works a physically demanding job and happens to be naturally thin" territory

and guys are fat! guys have bellies and rounded shoulders and chubby cheeks and imperfect teeth and thinning hair and are styled weirdly (that's a whole different post but the crew especially look so unprofessional styled it's great)

and they are still all hot! they are hot and desirable and find each other hot and desirable and I love that

I love to see it! nobody in this show looks like they had a personal trainer. and not just the side characters, not just a token fat guy - obv Taika Waititi is the most beautiful man you've ever seen and that little bit of tummy pudge spilling out of his crop top made us all lose our collective minds. but it's everyone else too; and it's not the extend of it either. no other show would have let black pete within 10 feet of a romance arc, much less been this sweet and sincere about it

this show is so comfortable with the human body in all it's glorious imperfection and I am in love with it

29,716 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[arsen1cs4ng0]

shout out to the chip fandom for being legit TRAUMATIZING. not even saying that as a joke or exaggeration!!! i know/know of so many good people who got their mental health totally RUINED by the awful people there. im one of them!!! its SOO much more horrible than a lot of people realize or even want to talk/think about. so many are literally scared to speak of the effect it had on them because theyre scared itll happen all over again + because it was literally just That Fucking Bad. even im not coming off anon for this. fuck that!!!

from my perspective… theres genuinely like no good people left because they all got chased off + traumatized in the process. i honestly think even the writers themselves got chased off by the toxicity. the hiatuses + *the ending in particular* just line up WAY TOO WELL with awful shit happening for that to not be the case… :/

and it sucks too because it was such a good and diverse story! it was really finally getting interesting!!! some of the plot lines before it all just stopped were legit gut wrenching (/pos!!!) + incredible to watch! the way it humanized the characters was so!!!!!! GOOD!!!!! but it’s all gone now because some people are just total fucking toxic freaks and heckled + harassed literally everyone out of the community no matter how hard it tried to keep stable…. its so depressing. it was fun while it lasted but i never want to go back + it will literally never be the same as it was a couple years ago. and at this point i think that’s a good thing

sorry for the random suuuuper long anon. i know youre a smaller account and probably dont want to talk about this kind of thing. its just been on my mind and youre one of the few people ive seen be openly critical of it all. hope u have a nice day + this finds you well at least!! :)

[ this turns into a rant in the end but its gotta be said lol ]

hi anon, thanks for the ask !! i pretty much have no choice to be open about this all because no-one else ( apart from like. 2 people ) will, i would say much more if it wasnt for my awfully limited vocabulary LOL ( and unless you wanna see a 16 year old cursing and throwing every insult in the english language at the people who hurt / manipulated my friends, well um !!! )

it just hurts seeing the fandom get worse and worse, one of my friends was literally almost driven to suicide because of the toxicity and abuse from the modern fandom, my confidence was snatched away after shit that happened in june - everything has just been SHIT !!!!

ive been actively trying to disassociate from the fandom entirely but its been extremely hard ( especially with my hyperfix on who i call ''little guy the 2st'' - the most i can do is wait for the hyperfix to pass at this point ), everytime i check in i know its just gonna be the same now: people who pretend nothing happened and attempt to cover up everything that happened before they ''''apologized'''' ( and i thought they were gonna keep the bad shit they did up for accountability !! what happened to that ????? ), people who will desparately manipulate unsuspecting people just so their wittle friend can look like the ''uwu sweet bean x3 owo angel who was definitely never ever ever transphobic in their life !!'' - you get the fucking picture at this point LOL

everything has fucking demotivated me and i wish i could fucking scream at Those people, but whats the point of doing so if they're just not gonna pull their heads out of their asses and just admit what they did instead of being like ''WAAAAAH YOURE SUCH A MEAN MEAN PERSON I DIDNT DO THAT AT ALL STOP SPREADING LIES, N-NO !!!!! ;_____;'' ?? i dont care if i get attacked by those people anymore because its only gonna prove my point on how fucking toxic they are i feel so bad for unsuspecting people who dont know how bad the fandom really is and what they'll end up diving into like i did, like my ex-friend did too

again, thanks for the ask anon and im so so so sorry you had to witness this all :[

[babiebom]

Im a Bit curious about who your favorite characters are from the fandoms your writing for (also love your taste in kpop)

PS: k-drama recommendation

- Strong Woman Do Bong Soon

- Until we meet again (it's thai but still good)

- The sadness (Korean film)

- How may I help you

- Mouse

- Lovenest

- Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-joo

- Style (from 2009)

Ohoohoo~ anon you fell into my trap I love ranting about my faves also thank you(x3) for the recs Strong Woman Do Bong Soon is one of my favorite kdramas and Park Boyoung is like my third favorite actress so I already know your taste is good without having seen anything else also putting my faves below the cut because only god himself can stop me now. (I promise I will try to keep this short and sweet)

Warnings: spoilers for some series, cursing, bit of sus wording and thoughts yknow

Stardew Valley

Sebastian (Sebby/Seb/Loml)

Can you tell that I'm a sucker for grumpy bf x sunshine gf tropes????

Honestly along with the reader insert fic in gonna write(lets hope I finish it) I wanna write maybe a Seb x OC or something idkidk

Of the bachelorettes Penny is my favorite bc shes lowkey me (I sometimes teach kids and I want to have a bunch of them love housewife vibes)

In ridgeside so far Phillip is my favorite mostly bc I don't know the others that well amd im only gifting 6 people at a time and he just so happened to get picked he's so cute I love it when people are passionate about something

In Stardew Valley Extended Victor is the loml like yeah he's a rich guy but he also seems like a huge nerd and I love him

Also Claire(the joja mart girl) my tired queen plus

Also in terms of the kids Yuuma>Jas>Vincent>Trinnie>Keahi

Mystic Messenger

At first I was a Zen girl

Then I was a Yoosung girl

Then I was a Jaehee girl

Then I was a Jumin girl

And now I'm in my final form as a Saeyoung girl

I love him so much my man my man

I played this game for MONTHS like I was at school pulling my phone out to hurry through a chat room so i didn't miss anything

Was waking up in the middle of the night

The chokehold these men had on my PLS

Five Nights At Freddy's

Ok so at first i hated this game bc im a crybaby and it scared me so bad

Also bc I had an intense fear of animatronics and people in the mascot suits as a kid after going to chuck e cheese and being terrified of the things om stage and then getting stuck in a ride its a whole thing omfg

But then security breach came out and I was like oh? Why'd they make the animatronics sexy????? So like the first couple of games I dont have a favorite(except i think Chica is ugly dont hate me) bc like theyre kid souls but since the sb animatronics arent ghost kids indo have a favorite

Which is Monty

I love him he is my gator man<3333 also justice for Foxy I know he would've been cute af.

Dead By Daylight

Killerwise Ghostface is my favorite

And I know its a basic bitch answer but omfg that man could be the cause of my demise and I would say thank you

Also Oni is cool

Also trickster is cute

Womanwise for killer the Artist is my favorite shes so pretty I love her

I hate specifically wesker and the twins I feel like i needed to add this BC I hate them so much also Freddy kreuger but like thats obvious bc its included in my rules

Survivors I love are Leon(again basic bitch answer) Jake Park, Dwight, and theres more but i cant remember r n

For women its Nea(I main her), Meg, Ada, Kate, Elodie, again theres more but I cant remember and my brain is hurting

I do not like feng min or whatsherface the kpop manager lady bc of how people play them

Twilight

Team Edward or Jacob?

I am an Emmett girl

I am also a Seth girl

They have been the loves of my life since the movies came out

When I read the books I liked Carlisle the most <3

Honestly twilight making a comeback was the best tike for me bc of all the new content people were making

I love the series pls

Also again Womanwise Rosalie is the loml

Also alice

Also Esme

Also Leah

Pls the women are so amazing

Harry Potter

Also lemme preface this by saying I do not agree with jkr or anything she has been saying

But I did get into this fandom a couple years ago when i was in high school because of a friend

And I do still love the series but now I only consume fanmade things

That being said Remis Lupin has my heart

Also Fred and George

And Cedric

And if anyone wanted to know my house I am a Hufflepuff<3

The Outsiders

Through and through I am a Dallas girl

Can yall tell my type yet?

When reading the book I was also a Johnny girl and I literally wanted the best for him and was so mad When he DID NOT GET IT

Now that I'm older that entire situation is bullshit

Like as a 22 year old that still lives with her family the thought of having to take care of myself plus younger siblings with no help and also have the house where everyone hangs out stresses me out

Like I love my little sister but i am so glad my parents have raised us to have and keep jobs even if we hate it bc I know she would help me with everything

Like I know Soda helped as much as he could but GOD bad situation for everyone

Johnny did not deserve the ending he got

The Walking Dead

Okay so lemme just say that I am into dilfs this is a dilf loving safe space idc

Rick can get it and him being lowkey insane is attractive (do not be like me pls)

Love his long hair

Also had a crush on Carl when he was in the show (he is a year older than me im not a creep)

I have not gotten to later seasons so maybe there are still cute people idk i need to re watch

I also hated Lori and Shane with a passion

I still do

I cannot imagine hooking up with my husbands friend of my friends husband or whateverbskkakslal

I will rant on and on about this it genuinely makes me mad

I do however love Maggie and Peggy(is this her name? The sister?) We love country girls

I am a Michonne simp through and through

I am a simple lady

Cool woman with sword? Count me in

Once Upon A Time

Though I hate Regina I find her so attractive its not even funny

When I was younger i had a huge crush on Peter Pan

Now rewatching I am a Captain Hook Simp

Also Mad Hatter

Also Ruby

Also Graham in season 1 if anyone remembers him

Gawd these men

Ruby number 1 IDC IDC

Also Mulan

PLEASE

I have also not gotten super far in this show

Marvel

I'm gonna just list my favorites bc like I already feel super exposed and im writing all of this in one go bc I am so excited to share but my phone is broken

So number one is Steve im so mad he went back to Peggy but at the same time he deserves happiness

Number two Bucky again im a basic girl and tragic men attract me idk

Peter loml so cute also the only spiderman movies ive seen dont kill me

Wanda love her still have not seen Multiverse of madness last thing i watched is wandavison

Loved pietro

Thor my bb

I cannot think of any more

Doctor Who

I guess this one is going to be different because I have only seen new who and I do not dislike any doctor at all so i guess imma just rank them

9th(watched his season twice once when I was younger and was just getting into the show and then once a couple years ago when I committed to watching the show)

11th

10th

12th

13th(I do not hate her I am just new to her bc I am still on her first season since i procrastinate to make the series last longer)

Then i guess I'll rank the companions bc again I dont really dislike anyone

Martha(best girl i love her so much)

Donna

Amy

Clara

Bill

Yasmine

River(literally going to name a kid River bc of how much i like the name)

Graham

Rose

Jack

Ryan

Nardole

Rory

Mickey

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid

I have had a crush on this man since 2005

Since I was FOUR YEARS OLD

The first time i saw him I fell in love

No one will compare to my love

Hotch is a close second I do love my dom daddy(I am so sorry for saying this)

Penelope is also my love but in a platonic i would kill someone for her kind of way

Also Emily

White Lotus

Okay so lemme start by saying

Season 2 >season 1

The only people i like im season 1 are Tanya and Belinda

Everyone else are kind of dislikeable

Well the rich guys wife is fine but shes not my favorite

Season 2 however i like like half of the characters

Obviously Tanya is on the list bc she is so funny

But Ethan is my favorite especially later in the season bc again guys like that are my thing

Also Harper but mainly bc of Aubrey

Then Daphne is the loml and she deserves better

And Lucia my bb

And Valentina

And Albie even if he seems like a "nice guy"

Love these characters

WE HATE GREG IN THIS HOUSE

Ouran High School Host Club

Takashi Morinozuka has my entire heart love this man

Honey is just me but male

And Haruhi loml pls shes so cute but also she tries to be the best person I love her

Also Kasanoda(and in the manga the girl he ends up with is kinda cool)

This again should also just be a ranking bc i love all the characters but im gonna limit myself

Kuroshitsuji

Again imma give a basic bitch answer and say Sebastian

I know hes a demon

I know he would hate me bc duh

But pls sir

Give me one chance

Also the undertaker

Also Agni

Also snake and joker

Grelle would be my platonic soulmate shes so funny

I also would like to protect Ciel(not the twin like not the real ciel or whatever I mean our ciel)

Like I understand that he basically siccs his demon on people and had them killed

But at the same time in my eyes he is literally just a traumatized little boy and i feel so bad for him

I know hes fictional but if i could change what happened to him i would

Finny is baby

I have typed for too long pls

Also thank you for asking this<3 feel free to ask other things and request stuff!!

[loversgothic]

Is there a particular reason you stopped making Fortnite art?

ohhhh boy. theres a few? in part its because it stopped being fulfilling and i lost interest and inspiration. its also because i cant play the game anymore because it cant run on my laptop with the new updates.

but a big one is that people are... really mean. really, really mean. people in the fortnite community overall are SOOOO NEGATIVE esp to artists. i make primarily romantic art and pinup art, and people can be incredibly unkind. ive been called slurs (both homophobic and racial), ive seen my friends get bullied for posting art in a similar vein, fuck that shit was a NIGHTMARE. fortnite possibly has the worst fandom ive ever seen, and ive been in SO MANY of them! i made mostly Jonesdation art, and while there were people who liked it, there was a lot of people who also didnt. there was some kind of weird.. looming feeling that i was afraid of posting my indulgent work (of course i always posted it anyway! im no pussy) but i dont like having that feeling loom over me. its also bc some of my friends kind of thought it was Funny when i did Foundation art since they didnt care much abt fortnite lore and thought my serious art i put all my time into was funny because of who acted Foundation. and i want my ideas to be taken seriously enough if i present them in a serious fashion.

its also because The Seven got slipped out of the story as time passed, and i really just couldnt get into the Oathbound or current groups. and even then, content with The Seven and Foundation in particular really felt like punch after punch regarding a character i became attached to (to nearly a delusional extent) with peoples perception of him becoming shittier because of a fucking comic that sucked ass. after a while it feels like people forgot abt him :( fortnite seriously moves WAYYY too fast and theres too many characters to get attached to, once your fave falls out of relevancy in story you are probably not gonna hear about them again? the only seven members i ever see ANYONE talk abt anymore is origin and that is bc im friends with the number one origin fans SBHJAHBANJA i love them i hope they have fun forever <3

something else that i think is that, i fell out of the fortnite fandom because it feels like its not a great place to explore ideas for me. when it comes to writing, i want to explore relationships, symbols, backstories, and the character i liked (Foundation) did NOT have that many people willing to explore those ideas and it made me scared to share them. Fortnite also doesnt really have a lot of... depth. it COULD have depth, sure, but you have to grasp at straws and make up half of it. it just.. wasnt fulfilling enough, i need something i can Dig into.

ill always love the Fortnite characters, and ill always love The Seven. ill always love Fiore (my foundation oc i made before he got unmasked officially) and FUCK ill always love all of the villains and Jones. but right now i need to explore something else fulfilling

here are some other small reasons:

my art has been stolen for tiktok thirst traps multiple times

i dont have a problem with being in a community with a lot of teenagers (i am a teenager. an adult one but ykno) but DAMN its a relief to be able to talk like an adult to OTHER ADULTS now that im out of there

ive also had to hide my nsfw art twitter for a variety of reasons that are complex. (one of them being that Im not trying to get bullied more)

it felt like i was fucked bc i couldnt produce relevant art fast enough to keep up with the game

[lumoslesbians]

Hi so long story short shipping jesslupe and the way its made me imagine my butch4butch dreams for the first time is making me realize i for sure want to get sober bc ive been numbing out bc i haven’t been being myself and i wanna explore being my #trueself while im actually mentally present for it but addiction is a thing sooooooo im going to rehab later this week

And i decided im gonna become a contributing fandom member fucking finally while im there lol

My resources are limited i will not have internet access for a while

But theres still so much i can do music, writing, art stuffs

So im gonna keep a running list of things i wanna try to work on while im there and im posting it to hold myself accountable

Plus representation fucking matters and my story as a jewish queerio child of queer mamas and person who’s been put away in the psych system and stuff like that is super valid and matters

Idk im rly nervous about going to rehab sorry im being a nerd lol just tryna psych myself up

But some things i would looove to work on are:

-drawings! And paintings! I rly just wanna try to art, i need to find pics probably and print them out for reference bc i wont have internet there lmfao *shows up to rehab with a giant stack of pictures of girls playing baseball nbd*

-a friends to lovers fic idk what genre yet but i just wanna ok

-a song about how jesslupe has awakened this ferocious butch4butch energy in me lmao nobody can stop me

-a fantasy au fic! Idk what yet maybe crossover maybe just witchy vibes but something spoopy and fun :))

-a fic with a song in it that im gonna write that one if them writes about the other in the ficverse NOBODY CAN STOP ME FROM BEING THE EMO BITCH I AM DEEP DOWN🖤

-i kind of want to write a fic about them meeting in a psychiatric setting is that so fucked???😬 like i dont wanna inflict that on u all but i feel like it could be rly healing to write idk if i will publish this one lol

-fic where someone is coaching someone else on how to flirt with girls, with the obvious undercurrent that they are both in fact girls and so maybe theyre actually just flirting with each other? this is inspired by my bff and ex who i was talking with the other day and had this dynamic with and we were laughing about it and i was like lmao im writing a jesslupe fic about this so now i have to so i can show her😊

-pwp idk what yet but if im gonna dive in might as well be on the deep end amiright🤷🏻

-gender stuff of any and all mediums just like all the butch/enby feels are gonna get artified

-a personal essay about aloto and my experience watching it with my mamas and realizing so much about my own queer identity but also still having so many questions

-a jo/maybelle fic that is deeply emotional but also gratuitously porny sorry not sorry😂 (what is this ship called bc i vote joybelle)

[atiny-piratequeen]

I feel bullied and upset because everyone says im boring because I only bottom and dont feel confident or genuine if I try to take charge. It feels so shitty to be treated like Im inferior just because I dont have the drive to top one of my biases or that I enjoy what I enjoy. Wouldn’t the real problem be pushing myself or allowing someone else to force me into doing something Im not comfortable with or acting fake and not being true to myself? Why is it even here on every blog I see everyone “bottom only couldn’t be me” or talking about how boring it is or that people feel bad for someone who only bottoms like what is so wrong about this? Between those comments and the hate I get for not being someone who would not “peg that man into the ground” Im so tempted to leave kpop it hurts every time I see one of the writers I look up too shit on people or joke about bottoms and the twitter fandoms are even worse

Tbh the bottom only kpop stans are the majority. Im not gonna sit here and lie to you and say i havent made joking comments in passing bc top only stans are in vast minority and switch folks will be switch folks.

The only thing i can say is if someones being truly malicious about it, its time for you to block them. You curate your own Fandom and internet spaces and if someones repeated comments are making you feel bad or self consious, its time to cut ties with them. Theres nothing wrong with your preferences and if you prefer to be a bottom thats fine. Theres absolutely nothing wrong with you, just like theres nothing wrong with switch stans. Or top stans. Your preference is your own and that's not something you should let anyone change for you.

You cant and shouldn't stop people from telling jokes about preferences but if they're coming at you specifically or you feel indirectly targeted, you draw your boundaries and block people. That's just how it needs to be if its something affecting you so much you can't enjoy things anymore.

At the end of the day none of us are actually fucking any of these idols (the amount of ndas that need to be signed means a mf who WAS wouldnt say shit anyway) so really none of this needs to be taken so seriously to the point that its making another person feel bad for their preferences in hypothetical situations anyway

[seldomscilence16]

Whumptober day 29: What Doesn't Kill Me

Fandom: Avengers

Prompts;

Sleep Deprivation

Defiance

"Better me than you."

Me: I should branch out and use someone other than my comfort character.

Also me: lol look at this nerd

If you asked Tony, Coffee- or maybe caffeine- was the most important thing. In the sense that, if he had to do anything ever, he was gonna need coffee to do it. JARVIS would remind him that sleep could be a good substitute, but Tony would point out the fact Coffee is far easier than Sleep. Thus proving Coffee to be superior. And really he was right, what else could keep you going for days on end? (Besides spite, of course… or anxiety… insomnia…) Nothing, that's what. (Denial)

He's almost positive there's some creepy early century study about not sleeping, and he's sure if they just gave the people coffee it would have turned out just fine. Probably. Maybe…

Anyway, the fact of the matter was, he had completed his list of to dos. So no one could be mad at him for anything to do with this week, and since he was getting a head start on next week, he'd say he's doing pretty dang good. Now the problem is, he ran out of coffee, an incident with a blender and some questionable substance of some kind that shall not be mentioned. He really needed a locked room to put anything his poor child could think of feeding him into.

And see, Tony could just go to the common floor and get some more, it's just a quick elevator trip really. But he's learned that getting coffee in front of the team is a sure fire way to get at least three scoldings and a lecture. And honestly, he's tired of it, he's proud of himself for what he's accomplished, and he would like to keep that feeling thank you. So some fresh(ish) air and a quick walk would suffice instead.

He'd much rather face a bunch of strangers and coffee shop enthusiasts instead a bunch of meanie super hero freeloaders. Besides, once they never complained about the results. And never dialed down on how much they asked for. So they could deal with caffeinated Tony.

Of course its just his luck that someone chose today to rob the bank next door- by using the wall of the coffee shop- and really, who decided this was a good idea!? You dont connect walls to banks and shit. Its just asking for trouble, case in point.

Thankfully theres only a few people in this afternoon, two employees and 4 other patrons in addition to himself. They're out numbered, and the robbers are no newbs, they shoot one hostage- in the arm thankfully- to keep the rest at bay as they set explosives in the back room. Tonys eyes however are fixed on the man before him, who clutches his arm, hoodie falling from his head to expose his face.

Something niggles in his mind at the dark skinned face, but his brain seems drawn in three other- useless- directions instead of recognition. He scoots forward instead, eyes focused on the slowly spreading spot of blood on the hoodie sleeve.

"Dont move!" Assuming the one who shot first is the leader, this guy is not the leader, but he is waving a gun around like a drunk.

"Hes bleeding." Tony states simply, moving forward still.

"And you will be too if you dont stop moving!"

"And then you'd loose too hostages and be a loosy goosy." Hes next to the guy now, completely ignoring the robber like the sane person he is.

"I'll buy you a new hoodie if we make it out of this." He says quietly, tearing the ruined sleeve off for a makeshift bandage.

"And I'll, buy you dinner." A heavily accented voice replies just as soft.

The accent niggles that same part, but his attention is drawn to the gun as it comes into view. Apparently this guy doesnt care about loosy goosy,

"Get him up, youre so worried about him he'll be my meat shield." The guy growls.

"Now come on. Youre gonna pass up Tony Stark as a meat shield? Geez kids these days."

Another head pops out of the back room, the leader maybe? They're all starting to look the same.

"Get your ass over here and bring Stark. We just got us a get out of jail card!"

If Pepper or Rhodey or JARVIS had any say, it'd be a "youre lucky youre in jail." Card.

The bleeding guy grabs at his arm, a stricken look on his face,

"Don't worry, better me than you." Tony offers a small smile, as his arm is grabbed and he's pulled up.

He could really use some coffee, his head is getting all foggy like he hates, and his body seems to groan with every step like a teenager at 7am. His 72 hour work binge is gonna end badly if he doesn't get his sweet bean elixor.

He's dragged through the hole in the wall, only stumbling a little, as the group does their little speech and shooting at the ceiling, making their way through and gathering money. He can't help but wonder why they went through the trouble of messing with the coffee shop, since this place was obviously already prepared for them. No guests, and only a few tellers left, already hiding. He's surprised it's not completely empty…

Oh! Because they decided to rob a bank down the road from Avengers tower! How he forgot about the darn Avengers when they lived in his building, he'll blame it on the lack of coffee, because that's the real victim here.

"Drop the guns, let him go, and we can do this the easy way." Cap says, all authority and shit.

He's moved further in front of the 'leader', a gun to his temple, and Tony sighs.

"Well this has been a very annoying end to my otherwise good evening. So I'll let you take it from here Cap."

His arm shoots up, the gun shooting the ceiling instead, then slams his head backwards and a nice elbow to the guy's gut for good measure. Side stepping as the Team takes over. He makes his way back through the bank, through the hole, and towards the counter.

"Any chance I can get a coffee. I'll give you both like 200 dollars right now, in addition to the $5.18." Tony rubs at his temples, eyes closed so the world won't spin. He's mostly irritated at this point, interrupting his good afternoon for this shit.

"I think perhaps, you should get checked over instead." That smooth voice pipes up.

Tony looks over to find him being tended to by a paramedic, two beautifully scary women behind them.

"I'll get right on that. After coffee. You guys want anything? My treat."

"I'll get your usual Mr. Stark." One of the employees says, getting an okay from the para.

"You are an Angel." He slaps $420 on the counter right as the Avengers walk through the hole.

"Tony! You've just been a hostage, can you stay in one place for 2 seconds?" Bruce complains.

"I am literally right next door, Brucey bear."

"The last thing you need is Coffee Stark." Cap says sternly.

"If one more person suggests that, there will be a murder today." Tony grumbles darkly, leveling a glare on Rogers that actually has the man taking a step back.

The look falls away as the wonderful Angel hands him his coffee,

"You ever need a job, you find me you hear?" Tony says seriously.

The girl blinks in surprise before smiling,

"Thank you Mr. Stark. I don't know what we would have done if you weren't here today."

"You would have been fine, this is my favorite coffee shop, I'd have been here in 2 seconds tops."

His hands shake as he tries to bring the cup to his lips, his vision going blurry as a wave of nausea hits him. He's gone too long without the bean water of life it seems, as the next thing he knows Bruce is cradling his head and he's definitely not standing anymore.

"I'm donating Dum-e. This could have been avoided." Tony grumbles, glaring through squinted eyes at the ceiling.

"How long have you been awake Tony?" Bruce asks with a resigned tone.

"Your pants are finished. And the arrows. And the widow bites. And the helicarrier updates. And SI crap. And the tupperware for Point Break. And the whole list is green, I need to water the plants… and that pretty guy got shot and I made sure he didn't bleed out. But I owe him a hoodie. A purple one. With a cat pouch." He's staring at the back of his eyelids for some reason, forcing them open again to see Bruce's face looking concerned with a touch of guilt now.

"Your pants are gonna be great I promise…" he trails off again, eyelids trying to close against his will.

"I know they will Tony."

"I'll get the other stuff done too. I just need a minute." Tony continues, eyes drifting towards Cap, "just a minute promise. Then I'll get the stuff done. And be ready, promise… just a minute."

"It's okay Tony. You get some rest, that stuff can wait."

"Just a minute."

"Close your eyes, kotenok, we got you now.'

"'Ust a minu'..."

[kogameh]

whenever i draw fanarts, the biggest satisfaction to me is when i was able to draw...an idea that is unique to the source material, something that i cant just simply recycle to ocs or any other fandoms, and especially, something fans of the source material can appreciate the most... its also something i knew i cant achieve with ocs. because at least with fanarts, at least someone get the context behind the art. i couldnt care less if im not drawing for a bigger or more popular fandom if i was able to share my love for something like this to the same people who love the source material as much as i do... im fully aware that my artstyle is not the most desirable. or the most social media-favored. or just anything thats worth being stared at anything for more than 5 minutes, haha. thats why i rarely post my doodles or rarely draw headshots because...i often find to look the most boring... but thats also why i really. tried really hard to get rid of my shortcomings by focusing more on the composition and "story" side of it over anything else. i tried. again. really hard to put my style in the backburner so the flaws of my unappealing style wont overshadow the "story" i wanted to tell in my art....

but yknow i just...feel like lately its all pointless hahaa...

so just when my mimi fanarts gets the most attention solely because it has mimi on it and not because of the art that i drew...im starting to ask...whats the point anymore if i even spend any extra time beyond just drawing the character. i might as well just draw the most soulless headshot or even stickman of the character and i'd guarantee it'll still get as much attention only because of the subject i drew. and the last important thing being...my art.... and this isnt just limited to one character or fandom, haha. every time any more replies to any of my art starts focusing on the subject over anything i put in the art, i knew that i failed to deliver the "story" i wanted to tell. at that point its starting to feel like...my art is nothing more than an accessory to a conversation starter. haha. i get it. my art isnt all that appealing. and my composition is still extremely amateur. but i guess no matter how much love and soul i tried to put in my art, it still doesnt matter if the subject is not creating any interesting conversation...

and its lately more and more apparent when i start to draw more oc artworks and obviously? theres less things to talk about now since theres 0 prior attachments existing with my ocs! :')

you could say that its mainly because im drawing for a small fandom. you could say its because i drew for a fandom where 90% of its contents is untranslated. but i just cant help but think...its simply because im still not good enough.....

i cant translate. im not fluent in any languages that isnt my mother tongue. im not the most talkative and hardly ever fit in any friend group. and every skills i have any inch of knowledge of is barely useful to anyone. and i know that i’ll never be remembered for anything. so i just....in the end, when i love something, the last i could do to say that "i love it" is to tell them with my art, despite its shortcomings and imperfections... but i guess thats...still not enough... to prove even that... :')

so just. haha. idk. even right now i kinda...lost all my motivation to draw. every single time i tried to i started to ask "is this even worth it?" and wonder if i shouldnt finish the art and put the bare minimum on it now, even if its gonna be the most soulless thing i've drawn. ultimately, a part of me just felt like i shouldve changed my priorities and focus starting this year. haha.

(and i'll just be real. if someones gonna say "draw for yourself!!! not for others!!!!" i would...rather not just post them at all to solve that. period. saves MUCH more of my time and anxiety if i just stopped posting them!!! :'))

i just. really dont know anymore...