#why are yall simping for this man????

[reckless-rider]

I HATE TOJI I HATE HIM SO MUCH

[p4nishers]

dont get me wrong i LOVE jealous obi wan but what i prefer is absulately PATHETIC jealous obi wan. like he sees quinlan flirt w cody and brush up against him every opportunity he gets just to annoy obi wan and he's fuming so much he trips and falls flat on his face. or when he sees ventress throw herself into codys lap and is about yell but smacks into a wall. or even better some random local on the planet they're staying offers to show cody around and he's too busy starting at every move they make and he full on headbutts a tree branch and cody has to call the medic to come aid him. obi wan is v smug that cody forgot his guide existed the moment he saw obi wan. VERY smug.

[boxwinebaddie]

because i wrote insane jerseykyleyb dialogue in that long ass ask answer i just wrote ( which, holy shit guys, a mildly in character nina post? naaah ur tripping; un hasn't answered an ask in months skdks )

you can have some of this VERY CURSED ( i'm sorry, he's so fucking funny he is my hero, seriously ) in the heat ( wheW! bc he's BAD) of the very fucked up ravesey breakup/divorce and ( sigh ) a very frightening manic bipolar episode/bender ( manz bad in both ;) & :( ways ) rockstar ravenstan of crimson dawn on stage at his show

BEIN THE FUNNIEST MAN ONCE DEAD & NOW ALIVE,

and the only context is that it's a divorce era para ( the worst kind, like bruh, uncle neen! can we pls have something hap--shhhh~ don't worry about that, baby! just eat your delicious dinner, sweetheart! xx <3 )

ravenstan has manic panic pixie dream boy box-dyed red hair, ( i am barking ) it's a crimson dawn concert, and...jersey is in the audience in...( sigh again ) the worst FUCKING DISGUISE i've even SEEN!!!!

anyways...

ROOOOLL CLIP!

( edit: no one clap me for my bad eStañol; i haven’t taken it or anythin seriously since universidad ( bad ), babEy! )

please note that after this…he quite literally just started basically making an online dating profile and was listing off his interests ( idk if it’s gonna stay but it was hella funny and he is so cute to me; it just got too long ) but this is my favorite part — BEAUTIFUL DORK TTRPG RAVENSTAN IS LIKE NERVOUS FLUSTERED SIMP JERSEY TO ME; IT IS MY FAVORITE CONTENT —

rock and body ROOOOLL

BONUS TRACK:

my hand is over my EYES…btw, the people booing?

That’s ME.

i’M BOOOOOOOING!!!!

gET OFF THE STAGE, STANNIE DORKOOO!!!!

[the-golden-heart]

from now on I will just listen to the songs and nothing else because I'm witnessing to many people being weird with Calypso and Antinous

[chaoxfix]

god i need the algorithm to stop recommending lore olympus to me.

reframing a kidnapping of a woman as romance, and painting her mother as an overbearing shrew rather than rightfully worried and protective, and portraying the kidnapper as sympathetic ... what about my overtly feminist ass makes anyone or any algorithm think i'd enjoy ANY hades/persephone romance retellings.

at this point the only hades and persephone retelling i'm interested in is a retelling that focuses on demeter's love for her daughter. one where persephone's abduction and transition from kore, the maiden, to persephone, goddess of the dead and queen of the underworld, was one where she carries out a revenge fantasy against her abductor... She cannot fully escape the underworld, no; she is death, doomed by the narrative. Underground she will stay for half the year. But she will not subject herself to be trapped with him.

hades dies at dawn; hades dies in the spring light, by persephone's power, and a knife garnished with evergreen thistles. demeter holds him down, and persephone cuts the head. judith slaying holofernes; persephone slaying hades.

[hllywdwhre]

Jaime Lannister simps shit talking GOT/HOTD characters and calling them predators when Jaime raped Cersei next to their dead son’s body is…. Bold to say the least

[depressedcatgirl]

i know this might be a controversial opinion but i dont get horror media that has cute characters that look like muppets or cute stuffed toys that either go on to become 1) a thing for youtubers to milk for content and end up getting toys so kids will beg their parents to get it 2) become obscure tumblr sexy men that ppl simp for...like i have weird taste in fictional men too but i just dont understand why everyone is simping for these muppet looking mfers and drawing hot fanart of them afgdsfhsfdhs

[sleepy-stories]

I can't with the scrooge simps. Where did you all come from? And why do you have taste in men/duck so weird. 😭😭😭😭😭

[lewisvinga]

a rich man | logan sargeant x fem! reader

summary; self made millionaire y/n l/n becomes part of the line of alpine investors but due to her young age, everyone is trying to connect her to a driver except the only driver she has an actual connection to.

fc; jarinpat

warnings; cursing

taglist; @namgification @louvrepool @locelscs @thehufflepuffavenger1

notes; requested ! also can ppl pls give woc fcs 😩

masterlist !

liked by yourusername, trentarnold66, and others !

alpinef1team: introducing 1/2 of our investor lineup ! welcome y/n l/n, trent alexander-arnold and travis kelce to the team! 🤝🤝

tagged; yourusername, trentarnold66, killatrav

killatrav: grateful to be apart of the team!

username: VIVAAA LAS VEGAS

trentarnold66: glad to be part of alpine 🤝

username: holy shit liverpool x f1, i’m gonna go crazy

yourusername: so happy to be an investor and be apart of the team 🩷🩷

username: this is so cool wait

username: y/n looks so young omg who is sheee

username: she’s a self made millionaire ! started her blog at 15 about beauty and fashion and built her empire since then! she became a millionaire at 18 and is now 22!

username: that’s so sick

username: y/n being 22 and investing in alpine is crazyyyyy i wanna be like her fr

username: i think she’s dating someone bc why would she invest in f1?

username: i also think that whoever she’s dating is the reason why she’s rich!

username: wtf are yall saying…. y/n came from nothing and built a beauty empire on her one, she doesn’t need a rich man to be rich, she became a rich woman on her own 🤣

liked by logansargeant, lilymhe, and others !

yourusername: a rich man and her american boyfriend🤍

tagged; yourusername

logansargeant: did not appreciate everyone connecting you to everyone else but me.

yourusername: acting like we weren’t on a date together when everyone was going crazy on twitter !

logansargeant: i love you 🤍

yourusername: i lovee you🤍

username: OMG IT WAS LOGAN??

username: i was so sure she wasn’t dating a driver but her dating logan is so🥹🥹

username: queen shit

username: parents are parenting

username: I LOVE THEM🥹

lilymhe: my sugar mommy 😮‍💨😝

yourusername: my sugar baby😙

logansargeant: u got other sugar babies ??😥i’m not the only one ?😥😥

yourusername: ur my special sugar baby🩷

liked by yourusername, alex_albon, and others !

logansargeant: i’d be a 1950s housewife for her if she asked

tagged; yourusername

yourusername: LMFAOOO LOGAN😭

yourusername: i’ll retire u bae, when we have kids you’ll be a stay at home dad ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

logansargeant: w a girl like u, i’d make sure you have a nice hot meal everyday you come home to a clean house too

username: logan’s such a simp for her, he’s just like me

username: THE CAPTION LMFAOOO😭😭😭

username: wow she’s gorgeous 😍

alex_albon: time to get u an apron

logansargeant: #stayathomebfcore

username: 1950S HOUSEWIFE😭😭

username: y/n really won, she’s a self made millionaire and has a hot bf, she is HER

username: logan : 🫃

username: he said ‘yes i do the cooking, yes i do the cleaning 🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️'

[sant-riley]

[Random Task force 141 × gen z! member headcanons]

A/N: Reader goes by the codename Teddy in my writing! Along with she/her pronouns :) I am also extremely biased with Ghost so her main pairing is more towards with him compared to the others <3. I know absolutely nothing about the military so this is not accurate I am so sorry💀.

CWs: Dark Humor, Age gaps, Simping, crude humor, cursing. (not sure what else but lmk!)

Chances are, you're the youngest in the entirety of Task Force 141. Just a good couple of years younger than Gaz.

When Laswell brought her in to meet the group, they couldn't help but stare at her in confusion. A tiny girl who couldn't have been older than any of them. Soap couldn't help but chuckle while Ghost nudged him in the side to shut him up.

"This is your new rookie on the team, her callsign is Teddy. Treat her well."

All the men nodded, watching the younger woman shyly smile and wave towards them.

First they realized that her humor was, in Ghost's words, fucked.

Any minor inconvenience had her saying she wanted to be hit by a car or some type of bodily harm, Price quickly whirling around with eyes widened. "Now, I don't think that warranted that kind of response, don't you think?" "Oh it definitely did, Captain." And she'd walk away without another word.

He swears he gets gray hairs from everytime you make casual talk of you dying. He actively tells the others to check on you bc he genuinely don't know if you're serious or not.

Ghost is not up to date with shit, man uses no social medias oncesoever so everything she spouts is wildly out of pocket. References to basic things like tiktok, Twitter, Instagram? He just silently stares at you like you're on drugs. You can't really use your personal phone on base but you try your best to explain memes to him. He sighs and rubs his forehead with a groan of "I'm too old for this shit, teds." "Oh come on! You have to at LEAST know the meme about the marines eating crayons!" "What the fuck are you on about?

The only ones who know vaguely what the fuck you're on about sometimes are Gaz and Soap, despite them still being a few years older.

Granted, they are not caught up with everything but they actively make it a point on leave to try and be up to date bc of you and your mannerisms. Plus it makes you happy when they fire back a quote they learned.

Can yall imagine Soap on tiktok, what random shit he'd have on his fyp bc he doesn't know how the algorithm works 😭.

Teddy has made every single one of them a personal playlist when she does have her phone, Soap once caught her adding songs and hasn't stopped teasing her since. Price and Ghost pretend not to care and barks at Soap to leave her alone but they're equally curious. Ghost contemplates stealing her phone to see it.

Doesn't matter how serious or dark their job may be, you simp for fictional characters, loudly. Price has learned to tune it out, Ghost although slightly jealous, finds it endearing, Gaz and Soap indulge you and will actively ask about why you like the characters you do and how much you love them bc they like to see you excited. It's a nice feeling when they're always in life or death missions.

You're the smallest one in here okay, everyone can easily throw you without batting an eye so they all take turns training you! They all despite knowing you can take care of yourself, would still like to teach you all they know so should you come against a taller/stronger opponent, you'll be okay.

You are the most protected person in the entire squad, esp when going out for drinks, Ghost will put you in the middle between him and Price and basically make a wall of muscle around you. He says he doesn't care and that he just doesn't want to be pestered by creepy people coming up to you but he will literally stare down any man or woman who even tries. He is the creepy one in everyone else's scenario. Soap just laughs and tosses back his drink.

They all notice your ticks and tells, seeing your leg start to shake when you're anxious, when you start cracking your fingers when you're restless, how you will avoid eye contact at any cost. They start to find ways to soothe you in their own ways. Price will give you a pat on your shoulder, sending you a smile.

Gaz nudges you with his body to take your attention off the situation, or he'll simply start asking you random dumbass questions just to see your face change.

Soap will, if he has gotten permission before, just pick you up and throw you over his shoulder, running around with you while you scream for him to let you go. Is also not against tickling you straight up to get you to smile.

Ghost tried to be as subtle as he can be. If yall are sitting close to each other, he'll make sure some part of his body is gently pressed against yours. Whether it be his foot, thigh, hand, some part of him will ground you. You try and reassure him that you know he doesn't care for personal touch but he just says to shut up.

Meeting Graves was a trip, for everyone involved besides you and Grave. Absolutely having no control over calling him a irl Fix it Felix. You were on Graves shitlist and honestly you wouldn't be surprised he betrayed yall for that one comment bc of how angry it made him.

Constantly being told to be quiet, but you cannot help it and will make little quips over comms. Ghost takes after you and starts to say horrible "dad" jokes that make you choke trying to hold back. Soap hates both of you and calls you unfunny.

They realize you're impulsive, especially when you show the amount of tattoos you have.

"I joined the military to fund my tattoo addiction." "You know what? That's not even a surprise."

Going home on leave is always a bitter experience, you never look excited to go home. So one of the guys (usually ghost) will offer you to come with them. It helps 3/4 all live somewhere in England so it's easy to see them/ take trips to their place.

They're all attached despite knowing better. They can't help it and they know they care for you so much more than other force members.

Ghost and Soap bristle when Alejandro makes a mention that he'd offer you a spot in his team, impressed with how you can take opponents twice your size.

"¿Te interesaría quedarte en México?"

"The Hell she will."

-

If you'd like to be tagged in future works, please comment under my rules that are pinned to my blog!

[matchaverse]

Country Girl | LS2

pairing: logan sargeant x luke bryan daughter reader

summary: when word that logan is dating a famous country singers daughter gets out he finally gets to show them off to the world

type: smau

[instagram] y/n_bryan

liked by lukebryan, logan sargeant, and 736,638 others

tagged | @/lukebryan

y/n_bryan | just spent the weekend with the papa and holy shit…this man can party 😭

username: nah cause luke is so funny

username: i wanna party with the bryan family

lukebryan: HELL YEAH SWEETHEART!

logansargeant: looks fun!

username: ariana what are you doing here?!

username: logan??

username: hes a big fan of country music so its not a surprise

y/n_bryan posted a story

caption: a slow sunday 🤍

replies:

username: that luke, your brother and who is that man??

username: please tell me it’s logan

yourbff: bro why does he look good in a backwards hat?

y/n_bryan: STAY BACK 🫥

yourbff: AHHAHA HES ALL YOURS

y/n_bryan: 🦐 yourself

logansargeant posted a story

caption: a slow sunday 🤍

replies:

username: oh????

username: so it’s y/n!!

oscarpiastri: you’re not slick

logansargeant: oh well 😁

[instagram] y/n_bryan

liked by logansargeant, yourbff, and 837,629 others

tagged | @/logansargeant

y/n_bryan | three years with my man 🤍

username: THREE YEARS?!?

username: holy shit that person on twitter was right

riley: I TOLD YALL TO LET ME COOK!!!

logansargeant: i love you baby 🤍

oscarpiastri: simp

logansargeant: 🫥

lukebryan: i love my soon to be son-in-law

logansargeant: ISHAJSHYS HOLY SHIT!!

y/n_bryan: you broke him dad 😒

[instagram] logansargeant

liked by y/n_bryan, oscarpiastri, and 837,629 others

tagged | @/y/n_bryan

logansargeant | “All I know is I don't want this night to end” 🤍

y/n_bryan: so cheesy using my dads lyrics but i still love you

logansargeant: 😘😘

username: stawpppoo

username: you two are so fucking cute together

username: y/n and logan >>>>>> everyone else

y/n_bryan: real and true

oscarpiastri: excuse me?

y/n_bryan: you and lily are a close second

username: they are couple goals

williamsracing: welcome to family (we been knew this whole time)

username: i just know admin has been waiting for this moment

williamsracing: yes ❤️

tags: @warrensluvr @paintedbypoetry @ilivbullyingjeongin @golden-hoax @nikfigueiredo @jiggly-puff-12 @ferrarisfailedstrats @tellybearryyyy @samantha-chicago

[lorarri]

★ . . . 𝐈 𝐎𝐍𝐋𝐘 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐖𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 , 𝐃𝐑𝟑

summary , taking the reason off has done daniel some good as he now shows it and his cowgirl girlfriend off at his home grand prix, and laughing at mclarens downfall

pairing , daniel ricciardo x fem! gf! texas cowgirl! reader

main masterlist | f1 masterlist | daniel ricciardo masterlist

yourinstagram

liked by maxverstappen1 danielricciardo 25,798,827 others

yourinstagram btw this is danny's hat

view comments

danielricciardo dass my baby

danielricciardo never looked better ❤️ ⤷ user danny ric Y/N stan first f1 driver second ⤷ danielricciardo always

danielricciardo god you look so hot ⤷ maxverstappen1 mate you've hyped her up enough save some for the rest of us ⤷ yourinstagram shut up max go get kelly to complement you since you want praise so bad ⤷ user girlie went in 😭 ⤷ user nah that's a violation

danielricciardo look people my gf's wearing my hat 🤠 ⤷ user the people that get the joke rn: 💀 ⤷ user what's the joke? ⤷ user you don't want to know

user icon

user daniel won fr

landonorris can I wear danny ric's hat? ⤷ yourinstagram no. ⤷ user hahahhaha ⤷ user lando is such a drama starter ⤷ user he def knows the rule ⤷ user not lando and Y/N fighting for danny in the comments ⤷ user I mean I don't blame them tbh

user our favourite cowgirl

user how do you feel about mclarens downfall ⤷ yourinstagram they had it coming ⤷ yourinstagram still love Lando and Oscar though

user best wag tbh

user everyone’s serotonin levels after seeing this 📈

user omg the caption ⤷ user what's wrong with the caption? ⤷ user do yall know nothing about the cowboy hat rule

view more comments

danielricciardo . 15hr ago

seen by landonorris maxverstappen1 and 39,990,994 others

INTERVIEW CLIP :: "I'M A COWBOY NOW" THE LATE SHOW - DANIEL RICCARDO

danielricciardo

liked by yourinstagram brotherone and 67,783,782 others ➻ tagged yourinstagram

danielricciardo shoot your ex day dump before home gp next week

view comments

yourinstagram I know this is meant to be on a Sunday but I'll make an exception for you

yourinstagram god you are so hot ⤷ brotherone shut up please we get it your man is hot ⤷ yourinstagram ain't my fault you 28 and single

yourinstagram are you taken?

yourinstagram god aussie and a cowboy god I lucked out

yourinstagram no one talk to me for the next 24 hours as I recover from danny riding a horse shirtless ⤷ user so real for this

yourinstagram when he looks good in your cowboy hats >>>

user Y/N being the ultimate simp for her man

user nahh danny and Y/N hyping each other up will never not be cute

user god when will it be me

user cowboy danny does things to me that should not be stated in the comments section ⤷ yourinstagram yeah [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] ⤷ user this is why I'm obsessed with you

user idk who I want more

landonorris I feel left out

landonorris I thought our friendship meant more to you danny ⤷ danielricciardo sorry mate mrs come first ⤷ landonorris I see... ⤷ user not lando being salty on the main 🤣

user plz one chance that is all I ask for

maxverstappen1 where was my invite? ⤷ schecoperez and mine ⤷ redbullracing and ours ⤷ yourinstagram how about this week? ⤷ redbullracing sounds good ⤷ landonorris wheres my invite? ⤷ yourinstagram not this time champ redbull fam only ⤷ christianhorner can I bring the kids they want to see the horses ⤷ yourinstagram ofc! bring my angel geri as well

user my parents 🥰

user okay we need to know was zak brown's face shot at for shoot you ex day? ⤷ yourinstagram yes ⤷ user your so real for this 😭 ⤷ user zak brown gonna have extra security after this ⤷ user does zak brown even count as an ex? ⤷ yourinstagram ex-boss so he's close enough

view more comments

yourinstagram

liked by danielricciardo christianhorner and 67,783,782 others ➻ tagged danielricciardo

yourinstagram always knew I would marry a cowboy

comments have been disabled

danielricciardo

liked by yourinstagram maxverstappen1 and 67,783,782 others ➻ tagged yourinstagram

danielricciardo always knew I would marry a cowgirl

comments have been disabled

[amesemii]

Anything she wants.

A/N: HEY YALLL this took a lil long an im sorrryyyy!!! i haven’t made my rules yet so just don’t act like idiots or ill block you💋💋 this was my first time writing in a while and im a little rusty😩 tryna keep up with yall and the new trends in writing tho!! feedback is always appreciated so please don’t ever hesitate❤️💋.

WK; 1.1k

summary: your father forces you last minute to attend a meeting with him to get you out of the house and you meet a certain someone who wants to give the spoiled girl a try.

tw; nothing really, he calls you mama, he lowk a simp, flaunts his money too😒, daddy’s girl, spoiled yn, just be aware ig

• —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • · • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • · • —– ٠ ✤ ٠

“Y/N please come down, it’s time to leave” your father yells up the stairs, and you rush to tie your heels up. Your father knew you took long to get ready so you don’t know why the hell he trying to rush you now when he only let you know of this event a few hours ago.

That was one of the things your father did that you didn’t like much and he was quick to apologize and get you a gift knowing you wanted to look your best in front of other people,he couldn’t tell his lovely daughter no. You were his pride and joy being the only girl out of 2 children. Your older brother long gone a few hours away with your lovely sister in law and your niece.(who you could argue is more spoiled than you)

So now you’re here in the blacked out car with your dad going to some random business party that you didn’t even wanna be at but at least you’ve got your card(your dads card) so you can sit and online shop while your father mingles with his partners.

You sit there scrolling on Amazon just adding things you think are cute to your cart, not even caring to look to into the details. Daddy will handle that, you think to yourself as you add a new vanity to the cart. You’re just scrolling through things when you hear someone mumbling in your ear

“You sure are a spoiled little girl aren’t you?” You look up startled to see a man that should be described as nothing BUT sexy. Tattoos adorning he lights lined body grillz and chains glistening short black hair and he was looking just SO good. But that was besides the point, why was he all up in ya phone?

“An you sure are nosey” you go back to scrolling on your phone now having had moved on to another store until you feel him sit next to you and you try to ignore him but you can feel his eyes grazing over your outfit, you’re about to speak up but he’s quick to interrupt.

“I’m Constance but you can call me Connie , and you are?” He’s not mumbling anymore and you’re pretty sure you hear a little accent but you’re not sure from what.

You look up at him from your phone and introduce yourself but that’s not enough for him, he wants to get to know you. You look pretty, smell good, and got an attitude. His favorite mix. You guys talk for a bit, mostly trying to get to know each other and flirting a bit till he asks a certain question.

“Let me take you out mama”

You actually let out a chuckle at that because there was no way In hell he wanted to fuck with you. You’re too expensive and hard to deal with, you know this for a fact because your brother makes sure to tell you every other day on the phone how you and his daughter make flies come out his wallet.

“You can’t handle me” you say smirking at him and his eyes darken and he’s quick to retort “I’m pretty sure I can handle a little girl like you.” And you scoff cause who tf he calling little?? Ain’t nun lil bout you. “Tuh show me then.” He hands you his phone and you put your number in but he looks confused and excite out and goes to show u other apps.

He goes from cash app, to a regular bank, to a bank you’ve never heard of and then still pulls a wad of cash out of his pocket. “I’m pretty sure I can handle you pretty.” And you can’t help but smile a little bit. “We’ll see Constance.” “I said you can call me connie”

“I know.” You chose to call him by his government because why not try to get under his skin? You look up to see your father coming towards you two and you sit up straight and smile “hey dad!” You start hoping and praying that he says it’s time to go home so you can plot.

“Hi baby girl, are you ready to go?” And you nod your head but go to introduce your father and Connie and they shake hands, you give Connie a side hug as you prepare to leave.

You and your father get to the car and you both slide into the back and he’s quick to start questioning you “so is he your boyfriend?” And you’re quick to say no. You only just met him an hour ago, he was NOT your boyfriend.

the rest of the ride was silent after your father basically played 21 questions. you just chill texting some of your friends and watching instagram reels til a text pops up on your phone.

you had to think for a second about that. did you want to lie and say you had plans or just tell him nothing? you take a second to decide and choose to tell the truth.

you just decide to leave him on read since your ride pulls up to your house. you and your father get out and he asks you what you want for dinner so he can order it and you tell him then quickly get upstairs.

you get to your room and open the door and are hit my a breeze. damn! you always leave that fan on to make sure you don’t get hit but it’s cold as a motherfucka in here.

you go to your closet and pick out some pijamas and go into your bathroom. you turn on the shower and wait for it to get hot and you step in.

you wash your body and just think. did you really wanna go on this date with connie? you know if you were to get hurt your father would handle the situation, so that wasn’t a worry.

you were worried about yourself, you didn’t want yourself to fall for him just cause he makes you feel nice and can give you butterflies. he could be just live everybody else.

but he might not be. it wouldn’t hurt to give him a chance and by now you already know what to look out for. so you turn off the shower and go out to your room.

you grab your shea butter and body oils, to lotion yourself and get dressed. as soon as you’re done, you decide to text connie back.

you can’t help but smirk to yourself in anticipation of what was to come tomorrow. you were gonna enjoy this

[imamuzansimp-oldblog-seoseoya]

types of kisses the uppermoons would prefer from this list

cw: kissing, fluff, morning kisses, forehead, nose, cheek, neck, lip kisses, pda, pinning against wall, jealousy (if u squint), lap, slight suggestive (mostly in muzan and dōma’s part), slight ooc (especially for muzan but it’s my hc muzan in private that we should all be well acquainted with), simpery bc have you met me, manga spoilers for dōma

a/n: this has sat in my apple notes app for wayyyyyyyy too long now

the list (creds to a tumblr i forgot the name of i saved this a long time ago):

Kibitsuji Muzan

5, 1, 4, 7, 10, 13

5 (in secret kiss): this is muzan we’re talking about. no way is he showing you his affection in public. i know i have my whole ‘softie in private™️’ muzan thing (really have to think of a better name), but key word: private. the day he shows affection in public is the day i stop liking kpop (jk i’ll never stop).

1 (good morning kiss): since muzan is a softie in private™️, he will gladly shower you with good morning kisses as soon as he wakes up. if you are asleep it does not matter, he’s waking you up.

4 (kiss on the neck): he’s a demon, who i believe has a side of him that’s very flirty and spicy. if you’re a human and you give consent, he’s kissing, biting, licking your neck and feeding off the blood from there. if you’re a demon, he’s still going to kiss, bite, lick, and suck your neck. he is not picky

7 (against a wall kiss): muzan + secretly very into steamy stuff + very dominant = muzan who loves a place where he can cage you in and watch you get flustered 

10 (jealous kiss): as an extraordinarily possessive person, muzan would get jealous A LOT. which leads to a lot of jealous kisses.

13 (lap kiss): especially when he’s jealous or horny. let’s be honest we all know he’d do this if you were an actual object of his affection.

Kokushibo

3, 5, 7, 8

3 (kiss on the nose): let’s be honest, besides lip kisses, this is the only place on his face that you can kiss. his forehead is almost nonexistent and his cheeks are just eyes, unless you’d like to kiss those.

5 (in secret kiss): i feel like since kokushibo is so loyal to muzan, he wouldn’t want to kiss you in public since he’d either be in front of muzan or in the human world. besides, he’s more introverted and a demon so i don’t think he’s big on kisses in public for your reputation especially

7 (against a wall kiss): i don’t even know why, i just feel like he’d like to flex his height on you if you’re shorter than him (which is likely, he’s 190 cm/6’3”). since he’s so tall, why not flex the height while making it intimate?

8 (top of head kisses): again, on his head there are only so many places to kiss since you miss two facial features. he’d like kissing your head, but since he’s likely so much taller it makes him feel secret butterflies when you manage to kiss his head

Dōma (istg i hate this man yall dōma simps better be glad im writing for him)

i’m tempted to include everything but i’ll just put: 4, 7, 10, 12, 13

4 (kiss on the neck): this guy is the most thirsty demon (second only to karaku obvi) and we all know it. he’d probably get grumpy if he couldn’t kiss ur neck at least 10 times a day (separately. the 20 something neck kisses he gave when you woke up only count as one).

7 (against a wall kiss): dōma is……… well it’s dōma, the same guy who says akaza might get stronger if he eats women, the same guy who wanted to make inosuke’s mother his wife, the same guy who forms a crush on the people he kills. using that logic he will gladly pin you up against the wall and kiss you until you’re essentially a tomato. he will not stop even then, he won’t stop unless a

pressing matter appears (aka nothing).

10 (jealous kiss): he gets jealous easily, so why not kiss you out of jealousy too?

12 (accidentally witnessed kiss): using the same logic as 7, he loves showing you off, unlike the previous two demons. he will “accidentally” leave the door wide open when he pins you on the bed and kisses the breath out of your lungs (a common occurrence) and sucks a lot of the blood right out of your veins (another common occurrence. did you ask/want/let him? i don’t know, but i doubt it. sorry)

13 (lap kiss): do i need to explain more? 

no. 

will i? 

yes.

this man… chances are he’s not keeping it in his pants for that one.

Akaza (ITS THE BASKETBALL! *said with love*)

2, 8, 9, 13

2 (forehead kiss): since he actually has one (looking at you koku), he’s kissing yours and you’re kissing his. that’s how it’s going to work and chances are he’s going to be a blushing mess because he is weak to even a woman’s glance *watches him sip respect women juice*

8 (top of head kisses): idek why i just feel like he’d enjoy them.

9 (shy kiss): he’s shy boi with women. we all know this. when you two are in private and he’s not busy punching dōma’s face off (i love it when he does), he is with you. with you while somehow being shy even though ur dating

13 (lap kiss): he’s a respectful demon, so he’s not going to drink your blood, but he is going to act like it with the way he’s kissing your neck roughly

Sekido

4, 6, 7, 10

4 (kiss on the neck): let’s be honest, his name means accumulated anger and he quite literally has anger written on his tongue, he’s being rough with his kissing and trying (and failing) to let off some steam. absolutely the roughest out of every uppermoon, if you thought muzan and dōma were biting a lot get ready to meet this guy. he will not stop until your neck is quite literally all red. props to you for not passing out, although you probably already did

6 (public kiss): he is angry in public, and he will kiss you to try and calm down (not like it works)

7 (against a wall kiss): probably pushes you a bit too hard since he doesn’t know his own strength.

10 (jealous kiss): i don’t think i need to explain, just look at 6

Karaku

4, 7, 12, 13

4 (kiss on the neck): ……… if it’s not obvious i’m sorry for you. the kanji on his tongue is literally pleasure

7 (against a wall kiss): again, i don’t need to explain

12 (accidentally witnessed kiss): like with dōma, the kiss is only “accidentally” witnessed. he totally didn’t leave the door wide open as he pinned you up against the wall

13 (lap kiss): ………………………….. YES

Aizetsu

5, 8, 9, 12

5 (in secret kiss): shyer than akaza 🥹! (he’s so precious im sry) every single time he kisses you it’s a shy kiss.

8 (top of head kisses): chances are he’s taller, so he kisses your head when he feels lonely. most of the time you’ll also be cuddling in bed

9 (shy kiss): just read 5

12 (accidentally witnessed kiss): unlike dōma and karaku, it is a genuine accident. he didn’t mean to leave the door open when he wanted to cuddle with you and shower you with kisses, he just did

Urogi

1, 6, 7

1 (good morning kiss): loves these. more specifically, loves receiving these. he doesn’t necessarily need sleep, but when he does wind up falling asleep, it’s next to you. you’ll usually wake up before him and wake him up with the good morning kisses he adores so much

6 (public kiss): his name means sky joy and ur telling me he wouldn’t get so happy he starts making out with you in public? he also just likes lowkey showing you off

7 (against a wall kiss): signature move: gets so happy he pins you against a wall and makes out with you

Gyutaro

2, 3, 4, 11

2 (forehead kiss), 3 (kiss on the nose), 4 (kiss on the neck): please give this poor man some love. he grew up only living for his sister and everyone else turning up their nose at him. forehead, nose, cheek, neck, everything kisses are a must

11 (first kiss): your first kiss with him was magical, whether it was also your first kiss is up to you, but it was definitely his and he relished in every moment of it.

[maiko-coy]

Cool PP AU, OP, small problem. I NOW SIMP FOR THE DOG CHARACTER

Why are yall liking him, hes a depressed mess with anger issues. This yo man????? 🤨🤨

[simpjaes]

in ur opinion who in enha is the biggest perv like the mf is so dirty minded to the point where he probably feels shame for it but can’t help himself when his mind wanders and he has to sneak off to thr nearest bathroom to get himself off because of u

MTL: hyung line + being a shameful perv

tags: this is kind of just general personality stuff, when it comes to "girls" just assume you are the girl in question.

most

★ sunghoon: be honest, you saw it coming right? sunghoon is definitely a pervert but probably cares a lot about who knows it and/or who he wants to keep that from. so on the days where it gets like....real bad....where he wants you so bad, but he knows he can't have you or something, he's running off to find somewhere, fucking anywhere to be alone so he can relieve the stress. otherwise? he won't be able to look you in the eye without saying something inappropriate or losing his mind over how hot you look in that fuckin' top. the type to slam you against the front door and start grinding the second yall step inside because he cant contain his cock and also, he wasn't allowed to say shit about it bc ur ass brought him to see your family at like...a church event or something idk

☆ jake: super perv and super bad at hiding it. also super ashamed when literally everyone sees it. i'm talking like, college parties getting to dance with you and trying to finger you on the couch type perverted. he isn't always in his right mind, either pussy drunk or feeling the intense need to be pussy drunk and no in-between. super ashamed of it though, because what's more embarrassing than walking around a college party with a boner? idk...maybe cumming in your pants because you grinded on him a bit too perfectly during that last song :/?? yeah, that might be worse. (he went home with tears in his eyes) disclaimer: jake would only be ashamed if anyone other than his girl saw him be so pathetic. he low key gets off on the embarrassment tho

★ jay: blatant pervert. the one who seems more down to earth and chill but also the one slapping your ass or staring right at your tits like "what i'd do to get my dick between those rn....."

probably struggles to get girls sometimes because of it ngl, but he has no shame about it either way. and man, when he does get between a girl's legs? everybody gonna hear about it. he might censor the name of the girl but he's doing a full show and tell otherwise. bro probably always begs to record his antics too. (he wants the praise and validation)

☆ heeseung: pervert to the max. worse than anyone and everyone. he isn't ashamed of it only because he's good at hiding it from the ppl who don't need to know. like this man would not give a fuck if he got caught slipping a hand up a skirt or eye fucking someone's sister tho (lmao), you're gonna know what he wants and he's not gonna mince words about it with you or anyone else.

what's that? you're dating jake? oh well why does that matter? Heeseung is still gonna let you know that you should think he's hot and if you want some of that dick, you know where to find him. he wants to be everyone's booty call and is an absolute simp and slut and all things in-between.

least