#why did it take me 3 hours to make breakfast today. thats so embarrassing

[hotsugarbyglassanimals]

ive been genuinely distressed about how bad my adhd has been this past month

[avengersassemble123]

THE ONE WITH THE WEDDING -part 2

Fandom: Marvel, avengers

Note:hey guys!! This is going to be a series and a new chapter will come out on Fridays every week. This series is based on Friends (Monica and Chandler’s relationship)

Warnings: hate for step family, some few bad words, idea of a bit of lovemaking at the end(just mention), alcohol consumption but mainly fluff.

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: You were invited to your stepsister's wedding at the last minute and your stepmother wants you to bring a date. Bucky Barnes decides to become your so-called date and shenanigans ensue. But will he remain your ‘so-called’ fake date or will he be someone more?

Thursday. The day which you dreaded the most. The day when you have to attend your stepsister’s wedding. Your alarm blared at 8 in the morning but you still didn't want to get out of your bed. You almost decided against not attending when you realized that you might not get to meet your loved ones too. So you finally managed to pull yourself out of the bed and proceeded towards the bathroom. You brushed your teeth and took a bath as slowly as possible, delaying the day's events. By the time you finished your breakfast, it was 10 am. Since there was no one to accompany you in the kitchen as all of the teammates except Bucky, left for a mission the previous day, you were grumpier than usual. You were just playing with the cereals and the spoon when you heard someone walk in, knowing exactly who the said person was.

Bucky took a milk carton from the fridge to drink while he looked at you, playing. He knew what kind of situation you were in since he knew your history with your family, and since you didn't acknowledge him when he walked in the kitchen, which you tend to do when you were in deep thoughts.

“From the milk carton? Seriously? When will you learn that it's disgusting to drink directly from the carton and that people would rather prefer a glass or a bowl?” you asked, breaking the silence.

Bucky raised his eyebrow at you and purposely drank from the carton right in front of you. You groaned, which made Bucky chuckle.

“Alright, alright I'll stop since you're gonna have to experience more torturing situations today.” he looked at you genuinely, while taking a glass from the cabinets. You smiled a bit, knowing your colleagues and friends, or let's say your second family always had your back.

“So when do we leave?”

“We’ll leave two hours early since it'll only take 45minutes to reach there, but I want to introduce you to my real loved ones, for they are the only reason I want to go to the wedding.”

“Oh wait you mean your dad, grandma and your twin brother right?”

“Yep you got it right Sargent.”

You both chuckled, a few seconds of silence when Bucky said, “Tell me about them.”

“Hm?”

“Your loved ones..tell me about them, if I'm gonna meet my fake date’s family, I'd rather go prepared, don't you think?”

You giggled.

“Well let's start with my grandma. She is the most generous person you're ever going to meet-”

You continued to talk joyfully, which made lucky smile too. He observed how your features carefully. He could memorise all the details and still observe you again all the time. He liked how you were smiling widely, how your cheeks were lifted by the beautiful smile on your face.

You guys talked for an hour when you decided that you should start getting ready so that you guys could leave at the designated time.

It was 3 by the time you guys got ready. You were wearing a decent long sleeveless maroon indigo dress while he wore a black tux with an indigo coloured tie to match your dress. You both wore hair buns, yours being adorned by a floral hair pin.

You both were in the cab, when you started fidgeting and biting your nails. Bucky noticed your nervousness, which made him to hold your hand gently and give you a reassuring look, which made you fidget less. You both held your hands, basking in the silence, not an awkward but a comfortable silence.

As soon as you reached the wedding hall, you dragged Bucky inside the hall, your eyes searching the whole crowd. When you met a familiar pair of eyes, you rushed towards it, still pulling Bucky along you. You both came in from of an old lady, dressed decent but beautiful enough for the wedding.

“Granny!!” you squealed, while hugging her. The sight of both the hugging ladies in front of Bucky, made his heart melt. He tried to give you both privacy by taking a step back. Your grandma noticed him and asked you, smirking, “Now who's that gentleman here y/n? Why don't you introduce him to me?”

“Introduce who?”

“Dad!!” you squealed while hugging him tightly.

“Oh God...i missed you so much baby girl.” he said while holding your face between his hands and kissing your forehead.

“I missed you too?”

“What about me? Did you forget me?” you ran towards your brother and he hugged you tightly lifting you up a bit.

“Whats up bro? Still being a jackass?” you asked slyly and teasingly. “Well now I know you're still the pain in my ass.” your brother retorted making all of you laughed.

Just then your brother’s attention turned towards Bucky.

“Hey I know you. You’re Bucky Barnes. Y/N’s colleague.” he says while shaking Bucky’s hand but also squinting at him suspiciously.

“Its an honour to meet you three. You must be Y/B/N, Y/N’s brother.” “And I am Y/F/N, Y/N’s father” your father chimed him also shaking his hand and squinting at him suspiciously.

“Now now both of you back off from the poor man. Now he may be older than me but I am older than you and I suggest you do not torture the poor man already, since our dear Y/N got him as her date.” your grandmother said, looking at you mischievously.

“Thats the thing...” you started. You then filled the three of them about how your stepmom had called you at the last minute to taking Bucky with you as your fake date.

“Oh then it's fine..” your dad said, “i think we tortured James a bit don't you think Y/B/N?” “I think so too dad.” they both said, but still squinting at him suspiciously. Your grandmother swatted, both of their heads lightly which caused you to chuckle. You then heard someone call out to everyone to take their seats as the wedding was going to start soon. Your grandmother ushered all of you to take your seats, while you joined Bucky.

“Sorry about that,” you said while sitting beside him. “Oh don't, in fact, I quite liked your family, especially how protective your father and brother were. Honestly speaking if I were in their place and if I had a daughter myself then I would have the same reaction too.” he smiled genuinely. “Oh thanks,” you said while your cheeks burned a bit. You two looked at each other for a bit when someone called out that the wedding began, beeaking both of yours stares. You both sat together, watching the ceremony while you and Bucky cracked jokes on the topics of the decoration or the food or the bride or groom. You both had to stifle your laughter to save yourselves from the embarrassment. When the reception began you excused yourself to the restroom. While returning back from the restroom, you were stopped by a shrill voice behind from you, your stepmother. Of course it is. You turned your back slowly and smiled a bit too much, while walking towards her. “Hello Y/N” your stepmother said, walking towards you, having a smile almost as fake as you. “Hello to you too stepmom.”

“Well are you enjoying the wedding?”

“Oh I am, in fact I liked the decorations.”

“Oh thank you. This had to be wonderful since this is the only wedding that was gonna happen besides your brother’s”

You clenched your jaw but still managed to laugh it off.

“Well I have got a wonderful son in law you know, I mean of course no one but my daughter deserves it since she is the only one capable of being successful like this, and you know being this beautiful than anyone in the whole family.”

Every word stung you but you still managed to regain yourself and chanted in your mind that you saw this coming.

“I mean of course she was better, smarter and deserving than both of you”

This bitch wasn't even trying to hide her hatred towards you.

“Oh honey, I'm sorry for the date. I know you are not capable of finding someone-”

“Actually her date is right here.”

You felt hands on your shoulder and a kiss placed on your cheek. Bucky was smiling and chuckling beside you, hugging you tightly sideways.

“Oh I'm sorry how rude of me, I'm James Buchanan Barnes, Y/N’s boyfriend, my friends and Y/N call me Bucky”

And you saw your stepmom have the most surprised look on herself when Bucky introduced himself to her.

“Well honey I think I gotta show you something. How about we take a walk. Now if you'll excuse me-” bucky pulled you towards the end of the hall.

You both sat on the empty chairs, facing towards the balcony.

“Hey Y/N you okay?”

You nodded while rubbing your eyes roughly, “You didn't have to do that James.”

“Well what kind of fake boyfriend would I be if I don't save my own fake girlfriend from her troubles?” he said cheekily which earned a giggle from you. You both looked at each other, observing each others features. You saw how his baby blue eyes shined due to the hall lights, few hair strands falling on his face, his cheeks having a pink flush, a scruff of beard on his face with an adorable smile adorned on his face, making him look more attractive. You both stared at each other intently. “So was it true?” you asked.

“What?”

“That you would have the same reaction if you would have a daughter.”

“Oh that...uh well yea...its true..”

“Do you want a family?”

“Yes....yes I do...”

You both smiled at each other with a comfortable silence between both of you, when one of the bridesmaids came to inform you two that the rooms to stay we're ready. You both parted each other hesitantly but asked Bucky to go ahead to his room since you were the direct family member and had to stay behind to make sure everything was settled. He nodded and headed towards the room.

It was almost midnight when almost the whole staff was clearing out the decorations, you were about to head back when you again saw your stepmom approaching you. You tried to ignore her but she grabbed your arm and turned you towards her. “Now listen here you minx, I know you were the one who tried to steal my precious daughter's spotlight so you better apologize now.” what? What was she talking about?

“What are you talking about? Why would I wanna do that?”

“Oh so now you're gonna play the victim card. Well listen here sweetheart I know how you tried to out best your sister by making yourself pretty and finding an avenger boyfriend for yourself so that everyone could talk only about you. I was surprised that you got a boyfriend for yourself yet alone an Avenger, but now I see it that he is your fake boyfriend, and you just wanna be in the spotlight and want more boys to fuck with. Well hear me out you will never be better than anyone, always be the most dumb one and no one is going go accept you. So I better not see you outshining my daughter again, you hear me you whore? Shame on yourself.”

Your stepmother left you all by yourself in the hall, leaving you in tears. You just couldn't handle it anymore. You saw a bottle of wine on the buffet table and you picked it up, walking towards your room.

1 am

Knock knock.

Bucky was awake due to his nightmares and since he didn't want to scare his neighbor but he got suspicious when he heard knocks at his door.

He slowly approached the door, ready to act on spot, when he saw you at the door, still in your party clothes, but a drinking a glass of wine from a straw. “Hey Y/N” he says a bit surprised. “Hey Buck, cute clothes.” you say making him realise that he was shirtless with him only in his jumptracks and dog tags.

“Well I wasn't exactly expecting company at...1am.” he nodded while looking at the walk clock.

You walked in the room, placing the glass on the table.

“What happened? Are you okay?” he asked, concern etching on his face.

“Well other than the fact that when I was returning to my room, my stepmom accused me of stealing my sisters spotlight, bringing you as a means to my ends of fucking other boys and called me a whore, ...yeah Im fine.” you said with a smile on your face but tears threatening to spill.

“Hey do you want me to talk to her with your dad and brother? Just tell me what to do. I know it's been a real emotional time and you've had a lot to drink so you know..you just gotta let it go, okay? I mean you were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight.”

“Really?” you asked.

“Are you kidding me you were the most beautiful woman in the most rooms-”

You suddenly pounced at Bucky, kissing him passionately, his hands roaming on the back of your body, you both were kissing for a few seconds when he suddenly pushed you a bit, “Woah Woah woah what's going on? You and I just made out. You and I are making out?”

“Well not anymore.” you sassed.

“But we don't do that.” he said

“I know I just thought it would be fun.” you said shyly.

Bucky squinted at you for a second before asking, “how drunk are you?”

“Drunk enough that I know I want to do this, not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.” you said too fast as excited.

He started at you for a few seconds.

“Well that's perfect amount.” he said, pulling you towards his bed. You both sat on the bed and started kissing each other when you broke off and said, “ you know what's weird?”

“What?”

”This doesn't feel weird.”

“ I know”

“And you're a really good kisser.”

“Well they didn't call me a ladies man in the 40s for no reason.”

You giggled and continued to kiss him.

“Want to get in the covers?” he asked. You nodded and you both went inside the covers.

You were removing your dress when you saw buck already naked.

“Wow you're really fast.” you said.

“Well it bodes for me that speed impresses.”

You nodded in approval.

“We’re gonna see each other naked.” you said.

“Yep.”

“You wanna do it at the same time?”

“At the count of three?”

“One” you chanted.

“Two” he chanted.

“Three” both of you peeked inside the covers at your bodies and looked at yourselves over the covers with wide eyes.

“ well I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.”

“Well we weren't that close anyway.” you said.

“Yeah” he replied, and you both started making out with each other.

And let's just say all your wild dreams came true...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list

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I added requested tags as well as some tags of some of my favorite fanfic writers

Ignore the tag if it bothers you😅😝😊

Taglist is open!!!

Read chapter 3 here

[mtherhino]

One side, Two lives

Chapter ten

Is he ok?

First Previous Next

Warnings: slight gore, panicked attack, and mention of eating disorder

Where the heck am I?  Virgil thought as he took in his surroundings. He couldn’t see anything except himself, as I he was standing in a pit of nothingness. He tried to to walk around but the blackness seemed to go on forever so he started to panic. Where a I? How do I get out of here? Where are the others?! Are they here two? I have to find them!

           Suddenly the anxious side heard a scream from behind him in the darkness. That sounds like Roman! He thought. He turned around and there stood Roman, on his knees and grasping at his stomach which confused the other side. Why is he grabbing at his stomach? Never mind I need to get his attention.

“Roman!” Virgil shouted to the other, but the prince didn’t acknowledge him, he didn’t even seem to hear him. This in no way helped Virgils anxiety.

“Roman! Princy can you hear me!” He shouted again, but just like before the creative side didn’t seem to even know he was there. Out of no where Virgil heard a dark chuckle.

He turned his gaze away from the prince and towards the noise. The shape of a person had materialized from the darkness, glimmering in a golden light and having what seemed to be a cape dragging behind him. The whatever it was approached Roman’s fallen from, laughing the whole time.

“You see? Your nothing but a weakling, and theres no place for anything like that here.” Virgil watched in terror as the person drew a sword and used it to tilt Roman’s head up to look at him. The side had tears running down his face and blood leaking from his mouth. Why is he crying? Why is he bleeding!? Virgil thought.

He looked back down to the prince’s hand and saw that the normally pure white outfit was now stained in blood, the red liquid was still spreading rapidly. Virgils eyes grew wide with horror. The golden being ‘tsk’ at the downed side and kicked him in the stomach making him cough up blood. No! Stop! You’re going to kill him! That’s what Virgil wanted to say, but as soon as he tried to scream black tendrils wrapped around his mouth and kept him quite.

Never the less the anxious side tried to run forward to stop everything but he couldn’t. He looked down and his feet where somehow stuck to the ground. He tried to pull himself free but it became clear that it was no use. He looked back at the scene in front of him and saw the figure start to raise his sword.

“You really are worthless. You’re just a pathetic excuse for a side, a useless nothing, and you’re especially no hero.” As the thing said that, it swung it sword down.

“ROMAN!”

           Virgil jolted up from his bed, his hand outstretched like he was trying to reach for something. His forehead was covered in sweat and he was sure that if he looked in a mirror his face would be whiter than a ghost’s. He brought his hand to his chest and he found his heart was beating faster than he thought it ever had. Virgil took a deep sigh and tried to calm down, it didn’t work very well. He looked over at his clock and saw that it was around 3 in the morning.

           What the heck was that? Virgil wondered to himself. He couldn’t remember much of his nightmare but he remembered that he was more scared than he had ever been in his life. Just trying to remember what happened made the side start hyperventilating. Ok. I need to calm down or else I might give Thomas a panic attack. Virgil started taking deep breaths and began to calm down as he repeated his 4 ,7, 8 breathing exercise.

           Once he was calmed downed he realized that he probably wasn’t going to be able to go to sleep for a while and flopped back onto his bed in frustration. The one night I actually tried to get more sleep. Just great. The side pulled out his phone from under his pillow and grabbed his headphones from his bed side table. This wasn’t the first time he was woken up by nightmares, but this time had definitely been the worst.

           He put on his headphones and picked up his phone. He went though a few different playlist before he finally settle on just clicking shuffle on My Chemical Romance. He ended up on Mama and smiled. This song was slightly calmer than most of the groups songs. He went to tumbler and started scrolling though it, humming the lyrics as he looked at post. After about an hour of looking at memes and funny videos Virgil found himself starting to dose off, the residents of the nightmare going to the back of his mind.

           When Virgil woke up it was too Patton calling him down for breakfast. He groaned as he got out of bed and change into his usual style. He pulled on his signature jacket as he went out the door even though he knew that it was crazy to wear a jacket on almost any day in Florida. Virgil walked down the long hallway eyeing every corner suspiciously in case Remus decided to just pop up or something. Because of this he wasn’t looking where he was going and ran straight into someone’s back and fell down.

           “Virgil? Are you ok” a familiar voice said. The anxious side looked up and saw that it was non other than Roman who he just happened to run into. The memories of his dream flashed in his mind and he looked at Romans stomach glad to see that there was no kind off blood staining on the t-shirt he was wearing. He shook his head a bit to clear the image of the fallen prince in his mind.

“Yah, I’m fine Princy.” Virgil said. Roman extended his hand to Virgil and pulled him up.

“You need to watch where your going, wouldn’t want you falling down the stairs or something.” Roman said with a chuckle.  The smaller side smiled softly at the sound but pretended to cough into his sleeve when Roman looked back at him.

           “Kiddos! Come get your breakfast before it gets old!” That had snapped Virgil out of his embarrassed fake coughing fit and the two started heading towards the kitchen. When they entered they found Logan at the table reading a comic book? Roman turned to Virgil and raised an eyebrow in question. The anxious side shrugged and went to go sit down at the table. He took a closer look at the cover and saw that it was a horror comic and that only confused him more.

“What are you reading Lo? I don’t think I’ve ever even seen you pick up a comic book before” Virgil asked. Logan finally looked up from his book and he seemed kinda embarrassed.

“Well um, technically it’s a graphic novel and uh Remus asked me to read it over for him.” Logan said while he adjusted his glasses, and if Virgil wasn’t mistaken, he was ever so slightly blushing. As the gears in his head spun the smaller side started to smirk. It definitely seems like this guy has a crush Remus. Although it may not look it, Virgil didn’t actually hate the duke. They in no way got along, and Virgil didn’t trust the creative side as far as he could though him, but he didn’t necessarily hate the gremlin of a man.

           So, with this in mind, the mischievous raccoon in a jacket decided that as long as he was here, he might as well mess with people.

“I didn’t know you and Remus where such good friends.” Roman, who had sat down after getting a plate of food for himself from the kitchen, tried his absolute hardest not to burst out laughing as Logan stuttered and rambled to try and explain himself.

“He simply assisted me in conducting some research the other day and I wanted to return the kind favor.” Once more the prince and emo character shared a look. Virgil decided that was enough teasing for now. You have to spread out the torture to make it effective after all. So instead of continuing to make fun of his friend he decided he should finally grab some breakfast.

“Whatever you say Lo.” The former dark side walked into the kitchen to see Patton serving up a plate that he assumed was for Logan.

Today Patton had made some scrambled eggs, a few links of sausages, and some toast he was currently adding crafters jam to. Patton turned around to face his dark strange son and smiled widely.

“Hey kiddo! I made a plate for you if that’s alright. If theres anything you want to change about it go right ahead!” The fatherly side said in his usual cheerful tone. Unfortunate this kinda made the smaller of the two freak out a bit.

What if I don’t like whats on the plate? I can’t just mess with it Patton already put in the work to make the food and if I put any of it back it will look like I don’t like his cooking which of course into true but what if he thinks that? Luckily his worries were put to rest when he saw his plate had equal proportions of everything just how he liked it. He breathed a sigh of relief and went to go sit back down with the others.

When he got back to table Roman and Logan were arguing about some sort of play but the conversation was now going too fast for Virgil to actually pay attention to it.

“Don’t you dare say Hamilton wasn’t a good musical in my presence!”

“I’m just saying its historically inaccurate! For one thing the Skylar sisters did have an older brother so the part in the musical where Angelica sings about having to bring the family glory is false. Also she was already wed to a man before she met Alexander so she couldn’t marry him if even if she wanted to.” Logan reasoned in his calm yet frustrated ‘everyone-is-being-an-idiot-except-for-me’ tone of voice.

“Of course it isn’t entirely accurate to the real character. In theater you have to add a bit of drama to express the characters feeling in the scene better!” The royal side tried to explain while he waved his arm around in the air, surprisingly not hitting anything or anyone. Luckily before the two could continue Patton walked into the room carrying both his and Logan’s plate.

“Ok kiddos I think thats enough arguing for now, go ahead and eat instead of bickering please.” Patton said in a hopeful voice.  The two sides grumbled a bit to themselves but did start eating . Virgil looked over at Romans plate and saw that he once again had a lot less food on his plate than the rest of them. He had about two mouthfuls of eggs on his plate, one small sausage and half of a jam covered toast.

Doesn’t he need to eat more than the rest off us? I mean he goes adventuring all the time so he probably burns all the calories he gets from the meals Patton makes. Virgil pondered all this while he ate. If he was being honest he didn’t think he had ever seen Roman get seconds unless people insisted on it. Thats kinda concerning, what if he isn’t eating right because off stress? But why would Princy be stressed he’s the living personification of having a dreamy good life. Could something be wrong and we just haven’t noticed it yet?is he ok? Luckily he was broken from his thoughts as someone called his name.

“Virgil? Are you ok? You’ve been so pacing out for a while now, everything alright?” Roman said as he put a comforting hand on the anxious sides shoulder. Virgil gave the royal a small smile and took a deep breath. I’m just overthinking things. Roman’s fine, he would have come to us if he had a problem.

“Yah I’m fine Princy, just got lost in thought that’s all.” The creative side smiled at that and went back to eating his small plate of food.

           After everyone was done with breakfast they all went back to their own rooms, Logan still reading the graphic novel as he walked. Once Virgil got to his room he threw himself onto his extremely messy bed and was about to pull up something to watch on YouTube when he heard a knock on his door.

           What the, I was just with everyone, if they needed to ask me something wouldn’t they have asked me then? The purple side sighed and got up to open the door, only to find the hallway completely empty?

“Um, ok, anyone there?” Virgil said while he stuck his head out the doorway.

“Yup! I’m right here!” A choice shouted from behind him.

“Ahhh!” The smaller side screeched and accidentally slammed the door shut. There now sitting on his bed kicking his feet, was Remus. He wasn’t wearing his usual outfit for videos but instead a ripped up tank to and some black sweatpants.

“What the hell are you doing here?!” The anxious side said in an accusing tone.

“I was bored and decided that I might as well annoy you for a while.” The taller of the two said with a shrug.

Virgil groaned and destroyed any hope of having a peaceful day from his mind.

“Why in the world did you knock? You haven’t had any real manners since we were kids.” The purple clad side said as he sat down on a beanbag that he had in the corner. The duke shrugged.

“It was part of my grand plan to distract you so that I could scare you even better.” The insane side said with a sharp tooth smile. Before Virgil could make a retort the door burst opened. There stood Princy in a t-shirt and shorts, his hair looking slightly disheveled and with a sword in hand. He for some reason also looked a bit bigger than normal but Virgil discarded the thought as the lighting being weird.

           “Virgil! What’s wrong! What do I need to fight!” The red side exclaimed.

“Hey Ro! I just scared emo over here and he screamed like I had ripped out his guts or something.” The duke said as he threw his arm around his brother. Virgil was kinda surprised. Last time he had seen the twins interact Roman was out cold in seconds but now they were talking like they were best friends. Well I guess they are siblings after all. The smallest in the room said.

“Oh, ok then. Virgil do you need any assistance?” Roman asked. The former dark side thought for a minute and figured that he could handle Remus by himself, he had enough experience dealing with his craziness growing up.

“Yah Romano I’ll be fine.” Virgil said with a wave. Roman nodded but not without a sigh at the nick name and walked out.

“Oh but before I go,” the prince turned around and glared and the both of them, “if you two kill each other I will find a way to somehow resurrect you and get you both scolded by Patton.” And with that Roman left with a royal wave. The two remaining sides gave each other a look, Virgil’s one of distrust and Remus’s one of mischief.

“Sooooo,” Remus said as he jumped back onto the bed, “you like my brother huh?”  Virgil’s face turned bright red.

“I-I don’t know what your talking about!” The now highly nervous side shouted.  This only made the duke chortle.

“Chill out, I’m not gonna tell him, it will be a lot more fun that way.” Remus said with a grin. The hoodie wearing side breathed a sigh of relief.

“However you now owe me a favor.” The dark side said. Virgil grumbled to himself but agreed and asked what the favor was. The royal smiled widely.

“You have to help me beat Deceit’s high score in Mario cart.” The anxious side was surprised at first but then smirked.

“Sure, I’m not going to pass up the chance to piss off the snake.” The smaller jumped onto the bed as Remus summoned his switch that was nearly covered in stickers except for the screen.

           After a few rounds of Mario cart Virgil still hadn’t won once and he was getting annoyed, especially since Remus wouldn’t stop saying how he was the ultimate champion of this game. In this round they where nearing the finish line and Virgil was in second place while Remus was in first. He had dodged all of the shells Virgil had thrown at him but he still had one more.

There’s no way I’m letting this rat man beat me again. Suddenly Virgil had an idea and a dark smile formed on his face.

“So Remus,” the purple side said as he lined up the shot, “how did your date with Logan go?”

“What?!” Remus was so surprised that Virgil somehow knew about his sorta kinda date with Logan that he fell off the bed. Meanwhile Virgil threw a green shell at him and finished in first.

“Yes!” The smaller side exclaimed.

           “How in this wide terribly gruesome world did you find out about that?” Remus said from the floor. Virgil shrugged.

“Logan said that you helped him with some research or something while blushing so I figured you actually took him on a date.” The emo said while he leaned back on his pillow. He looked over at Remus who was now sitting on the bean bag looking slightly startled.

“Well I didn’t technically ask him on a date, I just offered to take him and give him a tour of the imagination.” The duke said while he messed with his white streak of hair. “I haven’t actually told him that I like him.” Virgil was surprised that Remus looked actually embarrassed saying this.

“I never thought I would see the day that you were nervous.” Virgil said honestly. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell Logan if you aren’t ready to tell him.” Remus gave him an incredulous look and started laughing like a mad man which slightly scared the smaller side. He suddenly stoped and got up.

           “Thanks emo, I got to go or else De is going to get mad at me.” While the dark side walked to the door he messed up the purple wearing side’s hair until it defied gravity. “Wanna help me beat the record tomorrow since that slippery snake has such a freaking high score that we couldn’t beat it today?” The crazy side asked.

“Sure.” Virgil said, surprising even himself.

“Cool! Se yah tomorrow emo.” Remus said as he slammed the door loudly. The anxious side relaxed on his bed with a sigh. Even when just hanging out with the others being social was exhausting for him. He remembered that Thomas had some sort of event for tomorrow but Virgil doubted that he would need him for anything. As he was starting to drift off to sleep for a nap he had one last thought. Isn’t the wedding tomorrow?

Well I hope everyone if ready for some angst to come. Hope you guys have a good next 24 hours, bye!

Tag list:

@lovelivingmydreams

[h0neyjaehyun]

☁︎ 𝐀 𝐜𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 ☁︎

Summary // Apparently everyone needs to go to the dentist?

Characters // Talia Flores + Park Jisung + Mark Lee + Yang Jeongin (I.N Skz) (ft. Chan(skz), Jungwoo, Haechan(Nct). Mention. Chenle, Jeno(Nct) Felix, Hyunjin(Skz)

Era / Year // January 2019

Word Count //

Some of the boys don't like the dentist and then some are okay. But the ones that don't, usually go to Talia to take them to the dentist since she is good a reassuring people and making them feel safe. So some dentist even know Talia's name even though she is not the patient. The people she usually takes is, Jisung, Chenle, and Mark and sometimes Jeno in Nct. While outside she takes I.N and Felix, and sometimes Hyunjin from Straykids when Chan can't or when they ask her too.

So she would usually say yes, and cancel her practice or recording for later to take them. But once for some reason three of them go on the same day?

"Noona"

Talia turned to the voice to see Jisung in front of her.

"Yeah?"

"Can you take me to the dentist tomorrow?" He asked shyly, embarrassed he is asking.

"Aren't you to old for me to take you?" She teased, he grown flustered.

"Im kidding I'm kidding, I'll take you. What time?"

"1 pm." He smiled happily, knowing his Noona will still take care of him.

"Thank youu."

"Your welcome." She smiled and messed up his hair.

She continued on with her day finishing some stuff up then got a text message.

BabyFox🦊:Noona?

Tali: Yeah?

BabyFox🦊: Can you take me to the doctors?

Tali: Ah depends which day?

BabyFox🦊: Tomorrow

Tali: What time?

BabyFox🦊: 1:20pm

Tali: Ah sorry baby no Im busy.

BabyFox🦊: oh its okay I can ask Chan.

Tali: We can go out to eat later though if you like?

BabyFox🦊: Yes please.

Tali: Alright at 3?

BabyFox🦊: 3 is fine, see you Noona

Tali: see you

Tali smiled down at her phone, happy that she gets to spend time with both her maknaes. But is sad she can't be there for Jeongin (I.N).

She got to her the dreamies dorm and went to her room since most of them were already in there rooms preparing to go to sleep. She went in and saw Mark laying there, looking like he is contemplating his life.

"Hey Mark." She said as he jumped at her voice, not noticing she entered the room.

"Hey, you scared me I thought you wouldn't be back for another hour." He said putting his hand on his chest. She shook her head at him and showed him the time on her phone, his eyes grown wide as he saw the time was already an hour past since she last texted him.

"It's been an hour and how long have you been here?" Asking him putting down her stuff and getting ready to do her routine.

"Apparently and hour." Her eyes looked at him with utter confusion.

"Why would you wait for me in my room?" Wondering why would he wait instead of visiting her in her studio.

"Well, I wanted to spend time with you and also your room is really cozy." He said chuckling, Talia shook her head.

"Well, I'm going to change and are you gonna sleep over?" Asking him while she gets her clothes.

"Yeah, can I sleep with you...that sounded wrong...can I sleep..next to you...that sounded okay, how about lik-"

"Yes yes you can." Talia giggled interrupting him.

"Theres some clothes of yours in that drawer it should be in a section called Mark." She pointed at a small dresser.

"You have sections for different members?." He chuckled grabbing the clothes

"Yes, yes I do.."

"Thanks Flower." He smiled at her.

"You're Welcome." She said walking in her bathroom and changing. She finished and knocked on the door.

"You still changing??"

"No you can come back."

She came in with Mark now under the covers, she smiled at him since he seemed so adorable. She turned off the light and went under the covers with him, he clinged on to her immediately. She giggled but she knew Mark wasn't just there to spend time with her, he had to have a question.

"So, why are you really here?" She questioned him.

"Can't I spend time with my favorite person." He said in a offended tone.

"Oh don't let Yuta or Chenle hear that." She giggled.

"No but really why are you here, I literally have dance practice with you at 10am which is....6 hours away..wait why we sleeping so early?" She said while checking her phone. He huffed and tighten his grip on her and layed his head on her shoulder.

"Are you free at 1?" He said softly.

"Sorry, no baby I'm busy 1-4 pm, why?" She said softly massaging his scalp slowly trying to make him fall asleep.

"Oh nothing, I just wanted you to help me with something, but I can do it." He said slowly dozing off.

"Ah okay, night Mark."

"Night Flower."

It was the next day, they got up and had breakfast and Mark was sulking the whole time until they got to dance practice.

"Why is Mark sulking?" Jungwoo whispered to Talia curious on why the younger boy was sulking

"I think its because I can't help him with something because I'm busy." Jungwoo's face went :0 in realization. She shook her head and they continued practice. Tali went back to the dreamies dorm and went to shower and pick up Jisung.

She knocked on the recording studio door, and Haechan open the door giving her a bright smile with a hug.

"BUB you came to visit me?" He said dragging her in the studio while hugging her, sitting down and her now on his lap now back hugging her. She chuckled at him.

"No, sorry I came to pick up Jisung." She smiled at him apologetically. Haechan's smile turned into a pout on his face.

"Ah don't do that to me, you know I care about you." She said now pouting as well. Haechan smiled at her.

"But do you loveee me?" He said in a teasing smile tightening his hold on her, she was caught off guard that was when Jisung came through the door.

"Oh noona you're here?" He said surprised, she nodded and quickly got off of Haechan successfully.

"Ay, where are you going?" He said now trying to reach out to her.

"Sorry hyung, noona is coming with me, let's go." Jisung said smiling at Talia and grabbing her hand and running out the studio.

"HEY!" Haechan yelled, laughing alittle at the antic, but inside he was alittle sad that Talia didn't say I love you to him, but he just needs to be a little bit more patient to hear those words again. He sat back down.

"Hm, maybe next time Bub."

Meanwhile Jisung and Talia now got in the car and giggling. She shook her head at him. They got to their destination and walked in, she could tell he was nervous.

"Hey its okay, sit down while I sign you in okay?" She said holding his hand and rubbing it to reassure him. He nodded at went to sit down and she went to the front desk, the lady smiled at her recognizing her from other visits.

"Hi again."

"Hi." Talia smiled at her.

"Ah, so which member did you bring today?" She said looking around and spotting Jisung.

"Jisung, the youngest." Tali smiled writing down Jisung's name.

"Oh I thought you were gonna bring the older boy, I think his name was Mark?" Talia looked at her funny.

"What do you mean?" She questioned.

"Well, Im not allowed to say, but you do bring him every time he has an appointment. So he is supposed to have a check up at 1...15." She finished, Talia mouth was open and like she had called for him the door open to see Mark in a mask and hat now making eye contact with Jisung. Jisung and him both looked surprised.

"I didn't know you were gonna be here?" He said now standing infront of Jisung.

"Me either."

"Who are you with?" Mark questioned, Jisung turned his head to the front desk, then Mark did and made eye contact with Talia she slowly waved him giving him an awkward smile.

"Hi." She said shyly. She sat down the pencil and walking up to him.

"IS THIS WHY YOU COULDN'T GO WITH ME, IS BECAUSE OF JISUNG?" He raised his voice a little bit to loud. She winced at the loudness.

"Sorry, I didn't know, I thought you meant music NOT THE DENTIST." She said.

"Noona?"

Talia turned around and saw I.N standing infront of her while Chan was signing him in. She stood there in disbelief.

"I thought you were busy?" He said now confused.

"Uh, I am, I was taking Jisung to the dentist." She said slowly, and blinking her eyes a lot, tryin to processes whats happening. I.N eyes go big on her.

"IS THIS WHY, NOONA THE BETRAYAL, YOU PICK HIM OVER ME??" He said a little to loud like Mark, she winced at the volume. Chan quickly came over and put his hand over I.N's mouth.

"Shhh, so you make me deal with this?" He looked at her, directing his eyes to I.N she smiled at him apologetically. She heard a person clear their throat behind them to see Mark looking at her.

"So you chose, the youngest over US." He said moving his hand to I.N and him.

"Well, he asked first..." Mark looked him in disbelief.

"I told you I was going to the dentist." Looking at Jisung for an explanation.

"Well, you didn't say you were gonna ask Noona to take you, either way aren't you to old for Noona to take you and also aren't you older than her?" He said now questioning Mark attacking him with questions. Mark was now caught off guard not expecting the youngest response.

"Aren't you too old too?" Mark retaliated. Jisung just shook his head.

"Im still a minor I have an exuse."

"Well-"

"Mr. Park can you please come in?" A nurse interrupted the bickering. Jisung nodded and grabbing Talia's hand in the process and walking away while the other 2 boys glared and Chan was falling asleep.

Tali shook her head at Jisung.

"What's with you." She said smiling at him holding his hand to distract him from his nervousness.

"I just feel special thats all." He said with a smug smile on his face.

"And why is that?" She said raising her eyebrow at him.

"Because you chose me."

[chipsfics]

Part 1 - Introduction/Invitation

Part one of my currently-unnamed Inanimate Insanity fanfiction :)! Feat. Tissues and Yinyang. Some shipping but not a whole lot ;)

Rated: PG (A few heavy themes)

Hope you enjoy and much more to come !! :D

~~~~

Unlike Tissues, Yinyang knew he was going to be eliminated. Yin did, at least. He figured after a certain amount of time, the viewers just saw him as... Annoying. He had used up his entertainment value- Inanimate Insanity had packaged and squeezed dry his "quirks" of any and all comedy until they were just problems again. He was sure his other half knew elimination was at least a possibility- He was probably too preoccupied with his own thoughts, which sometimes blended together with Yin's. A lot of... "Everyone here hates me," and "I hate everyone here." Seemed like the situation was stressing them both out.

Weeks later, After they were all freed from the closet, Yinyang watched the episode where he was eliminated. Yinyang cried, not because he lost, but something kind of got tangled in his brain watching the way he acted. He was grinding his teeth watching the playback, Yang holding back tears and Yin letting them flow freely. If only, if only, if only. Needless to say, he didn't really remember a lot about what happened cooped up in that tiny closet. He mostly hid in the corner and tried not to grind his teeth down to his gums. Tissues, on the other hand, barely knew what was going on. One place to another, off a plane, rushing from iceberg to dodgeball court, grass field to bleachers- Next thing he knew he sneezed himself through a portal and ended up cooped up in a closet. Once the dizzy feeling cleared and he ended up face down, alone, in an empty closet with a locked door- One thing was abundantly clear: He lost. As usual. When another contestant stepped through the portal, the relief he felt was overwhelming- and as the closet filled up with eliminated contestants, the sense of relief he felt was replaced by self loathing and shame- Everyone else pretty much all hated him. As usual.

When they finally got a breath of fresh air, space to move around, personal rooms and even a breakfast juice bar- After everyone who came in contact with him was thoroughly sprayed down by Soap, nobody hated him anymore. They just didn't talk to him. Although, when he walked in the hallway, Soap would follow a safe distance behind him and clean where he last stepped with disinfectant. That didn't really help his self-esteem.

One quiet afternoon, everyone was still trying to settle into their new (but much nicer) living situations, Tissues got paired with the roommate who hated him the most. One Trophy horseplay, who was the one who stomped his face in more than a couple times while stuck in the closet. Of course, due to the technological advancements of melife, Mephone brought him back immediately after he got the death notification- bzz-ding, Tissues died again, to Trophy's frustration. Living with Trophy, he tried to keep all of his stuff in one corner- And he was kind of being shoved over by Trophy's ever-growing collection of sports equipment. Apparently he had nowhere to put it except for cluttering up their shared bedroom. He didn't have much things anyway- and he spent most of his time in the front game room. Tissues, Yinyang, and a few wanderers in and out every day in that same room, that same dinky game system, the same 4 outdated platforming games. He didn't remember the names of those old things, and he wasn't great at them anyway- It'd surprise you, but he didn't have the best hand-eye-coordination. 

Yinyang was also bad at them. He'd argue and curse and throw the controller and tug at the wires, Tissues would follow slowly behind him in co-op play. It was fun to play with someone who had the same skill level as he did, and it seemed like Yinyang had mellowed out a little from his appearance on the show- Having a bit more freedom and alone time seemed to make Yang calm down and Yin become cheerier and more friendly. If Tissues could say one Inanimate Insanity contestant was his friend- It was Yinyang. They had something big and terrifying in common- They were both freaks. The unlovable tend to find a way to love each other.

~~~~

Yaaaawn. Tissues stretched and looked at the clock- 11:30, about 3 hours earlier than when he usually woke up. He wiped the drool off his face, got up and feverishly brushed his teeth. He realized the breakfast bar was still open for another 30 minutes- More like 25 now that he'd dragged himself out of bed. OJ wasn't the world's most attentive hotel owner, but the breakfast bar seemed like something he was passionate about. There were rumors that he refilled the cereal dispensers by himself and doesn't let anyone else do it. Soap always threw a fit when someone else did the chores for her, although she seemed to have a quiet respect for OJ's breakfast bar. Tissues took the elevator down- He didn't trust himself to go down the stairs because of his vertigo. Lo and behold, someone else bumped into his hand reaching for the down arrow. It was Yinyang! 

"O-oh, go ahead, you first," Tissues said bashfully. 

"No, you first!" Yin chirped. "I assume we're both going down?" 

"Yeah, I'm gonna try and catch the last wave of breakfast, guyse. I'm not usually up this... SNIFF. Early," Tissues said, and jammed his finger into the down button, which started to glow a faint yellow.

"Wait, is the free breakfast thing still open?" Yinyang said, "The one where you can make waffles with the little do-it-yourself waffle iron?" 

"Is that what that is? I thought it was just a weird smoothie dispenser. I thought the stuff that came out of it tasted like waffle batter," He sniffed.

Yinyang laughed. Tissues would have been peeved, but it didn't seem like Yinyang was laughing AT him. That, or just the fact that his laugh was crisp and clear as a ringing bell. Tissues didn't think he heard him genuinely laugh a whole ton of times. It was nice. 

As they waited for the elevator to come up, Tissues noticed one of Yinyang's eyes blinking and drooping. Yang's side seemed to be sleepier than Yin's- His body lagging to one side until he had to jerk back into a standing position. Was it possible for one half to fall asleep and the other half to stay awake? DING. Tissues' train of thoughts was interrupted by the elevator door sliding open. They stepped in, and for the entire ride down Tissues fought as hard as he could not to sneeze- In a closed place like an elevator, that could be very annoying. More annoying than usual. The elevator ride was mostly silent and awkward- It seemed that Yang almost tried to fight on what button to press, but he was too tired and hungry to cause any trouble this early. It was a Saturday after all, the slowest days in the hotel, and once they made it downstairs to the breakfast bar, there didn't seem to be many contestants looking for something to eat so late. Tissues grabbed a paper plate and put a blueberry muffin on it, and got a small paper cup of orange juice. He noticed Yin and Yang were having some sort of quiet argument about what to get for a drink. Tissues couldn't help but overhear-

"Coffee." Yang spoke in a harsh whisper. "Not today, Water." Yin replied. "Coffee." "Juice, then." "Ok, Fine." "Apple juice." "I want orange." "Not today. Apple Juice feels more..." "Pure?" "Yeah." "Bull." "Let's just get our food, I'm too tired to argue." "..." "..." "Me too." 

Tissues seemed distracted, until Yinyang moved down the line and bumped him further down. He looked away, face flushed, and moved to the couch, flicking on the TV- He felt like he had just intruded on Yinyang's privacy, but Yinyang didn't seem to care. He'd grabbed apple juice and a pastry of some kind, filled with cream cheese. Yinyang and Tissues ate together, Tissues sitting on the carpet and Yinyang on the couch close by, both staring at the gameshow program that was playing on TV- something that aired often, it was starting to get old. That and the fact that the episodes are hard to tell apart. Same host every time, same backdrop, same formula. Because of this, Tissues' mind couldn't help but wander, and so did his eyes. Yinyang was focused intently on the tv, one hand, Yin's, tapping the sides of the paper cup and the other, Yang's, lifting the pastry to his mouth and taking a bite. They seemed to have figured out a good way to eat without arguing. 

"So," Tissues said, breaking the silence.

"Yes?" Yin said politely. 

"Can i sit next to you guyse?" Tissues asked. Yinyang looked a bit puzzled.

"Sure. Why not?" Yinyang said, "Just try not to get any of your germs on me." Yang grumbled. Yin pinched his arm. "Don't be rude," Yang growled, but once Tissues got up and hopped up onto the couch cushion next to him, Yang seemed to have forgotten about it. Tissues was so short he had to put in a lot of effort to get onto the couch- It was almost comical. Because of that, he preferred to sit on the ground. People seemed to prefer him down there anyway. It was kind of nice, up there, though, and honestly the only thing he felt different was... More comfortable, and taller. It was nice. He hadn't even noticed the TV program changing from the game show to an ad break- some kind of infomercial on chairs. 

"Sooo.... Do you want to go and check out the pool today? I've heard that there's like, complimentary towels. I haven't actually been there yet," Tissues said.

"Are you... asking us to hang out with you?" Yinyang said curiously. 

"Well sure," Tissues smiled. "We're friends, right?"

"Umm..." Yinyang's face flushed a bright red. "Of course!" Yin chimed. 

"Whatever." Yang added, clenching his jaw and slightly baring his sharp teeth.

"I just didn't wanna show up alone. Can you swim?" He asked. Yinyang looked away.

"Not really," He said, embarrassed. "It takes a lot of coordination, and Yin hates listening." Yang said aggresively. Yin glared at his other half. 

"Ohhh thats cool. I can't either," Tissues replied. "I was just planning on sitting by the side. Maybe putting my feet in- Its just nice to have like... uhh. SNIFF. Change of scenery... I like the chlorine smell." 

"Well that sounds nice!" Yinyang said. "But we need to go back to our room first, Right?" Yang sounded like he was directing the question less towards Tissues and more towards Yin. 

"Oh. Well that's ok. I'm here all day," Tissues said, pulling his mouth into a goofy half-smile. Yinyang finished off his apple juice and got up, silently turned and smiled towards Tissues, and walked away. Tissues wondered what he was thinking about. 

~~~~

[deeeelightfuldee]

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? ooooof. I don’t think i’d buy that. I hardly think people who DO show they have feelings for me are being truthful, so I doubt that.

Do you play video games? haven’t in some time, but I want to get back into it a little.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? oh heck yeah. I have a really great family.

Is your house more than two stories tall? nah, it’s the two stories with a basement.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I will never raise my hands to another human being. I once dated someone who was a veteran and had severe ptsd. we were napping one time and he got aggressive. that wasn’t HIM though. 

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) physically, I suppose I have nice eyes and a decent smile. personality wise, I am warm, friendly, loving, supportive, sometimes funny, very loyal.

What color is your hairbrush/comb? depends which one I use. I have a pink one right now. 

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? I honestly haven’t got a clue. I haven’t been let out of my room in 2 weeks.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? yes. it’s weird.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? DEF not. he has been asking me out since we worked together maybeeeee.. 8-9 years ago? 

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? yes! I am trying to learn how to undo that. it’s not that I don’t want to care about him, but I know and can soooooooo clearly see that he doesn’t care anymore, and it is extremely emotionally draining to watch.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? I wanna say female but idk

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? scott

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? couple days ago.

Do you play any games on Facebook? Nope.

What would you like to get a degree in? I have two degrees -- one in psych and one in SLP. 

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? ahahahaha yes. almost always wide awake from 3-6

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? typically more in the movie/show or book mood.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Both. nothing like that buttery, salty goodness that obvs requires an enormous drink

What genre of films do you like the best? either make me EXTREMELY sad, or romantic.

How many bank accounts do you have? 2

Have you ever had the flu? Yeah.

What is your goal for the next few months? i have several. the only one that can/will be public right now, is to get my lungs back to functioning as they were.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? yes. I have very bad breathing during sleep. I have had 11 sleep studies done, because my breathing will just stop randomly, which luckily my brain wakes me. it doesn’t really affect my like severely.. I function normally. but shoooooot, if I got normal levels of sleep i’d be a force to be reckoned with.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. Yes. It was AWFUL. vomiting for 2 days straight. it was so gross.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. smart and romantic.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? hmm. I think there have been times where i’ve let people have more access to me than they should have had. or there have definitely been times I’ve been used in school groups. But honestly, I tend to be protective of myself. I stop when I feel enough is enough. 

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? I would want either Bill to not die, or for her to be spoiled incessantly by someone else.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? psh. no. my friends are all tiny which is just not fun.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Yeah. i found it so fun.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? ahahahaha no. 

Which is worse: dusting or mopping? mopping. i hate doing the floors.

Did you pull a senior prank? Not really advised when a homeschooler. 

Did you graduate? Yes. that was a rough, rough day.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope

What was the last song you listened to? i think it was Happier than Ever by billie eilish. the lyrics are ... woof. 

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? 20/12 -- the last time I had insurance anyway.

Is fashion one of your interests? honestly, if I had money, it would be. but it isnt right now.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? It’s getting harder and harder to believe that will be the case. I knowwwww I need to start dating, but every time I go to open up an app, I hesitate and chicken out. I just was so happy before.. its hard to think I could be able to offer anything to anyone right now.

Do you care what people think? veryyyyyy few people. I care about the thoughts of those I genuinely love and respect. However, I still ensure I’m protecting myself regardless.

Is acting something you enjoy? No. 

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I have a bum knee, so I sprain that from time to time. I last broke a finger.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? ahahahaha yes. but years ago. never because of mine.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. I don’t cuss. 

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? probably either nathan’s or em’s.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? alix’s family used to yell at me a lot for being fat. that used to mess me up. 

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? soccer. no, i found the endless running to be unnecessary. 

Did you ever watch the show Full House? yup

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? no, thats so out-of-touch with reality

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? yes, i have.

What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? i think it was 8 hours. I hate hate hate hikes. But, thats because I have really weak lungs, so my doctor says it’s like lighting them on fire.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? kile

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? my mom hasn’t since a teenager. I think my dad does still. though, i dunno for certain.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? uhhhh, PTK honors society

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Any reptile or insect. <<<< same

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Taller. 

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Yes. very much so.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? No, i respect people who are truthful saying they either try not to judge, or that they do judge despite their desire to stop.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? sooooooo much. it’s small town-y, quiet, safe, lots of trees, family close by.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? ps i love you will always shatter my heart.

What’s your favorite restaurant? buona or ashford

Is there a dessert you don’t like? im not wild about pastries.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? hmmm maybe that one mrs. pettigrews home for peculiar children.

Underwater or outer space? i’m fascinated by both. typically more interested in the water.

Dogs or cats? both. all of them.

Kittens or puppies? kittens.

Bird watching or whale watching? whales!!!!!!!!

What was your best subject in school? in HS probably history. or science. in college, psych or neuro.

What was your worst subject in school? Math. always freakin’ math.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? Uhhh. hm. i don’t think anything. I liked my experience.

Who is your fashion icon? nada.

Diamonds or pearls? Both are nice. I love pearl stud earrings and I really want a simple, one pearl necklace. I am kinda ruined for diamonds for some time. My favorite rings and necklace were diamonds from kile and I just cant bring myself to wear those anymore.

What color dress did you wear to prom? pink

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? oh sure. I am envious of those with bangin’ bods. I’m envious of those who have great finances. I am envious of those who live life married to their love. I’m envious of people who see kile regularly. But there are difficulties that come with any of those situations.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? not long ago. the whole crushing reality of losing kile just destroyed me. I’m OK now.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? ahahahahah. I just reject all calls.

Who are you closest to? My mom and nathan rn.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? no

Are you currently sad about anything? several things have recently been really saddening, but I’m ok. Ill get thru it.

Have you had any form of exercise today? Its going to be some time before I’m cleared for that. I almost faint from taking a shower and I have to be on oxygen after doing the one flight of stairs. 

Can you handle blood? doesn’t bother me at all.

Has any place hired you underage for a job? yes. I mean technically, I was legal to work in that I was 17, but the company didn’t want to hire younger than 18.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? not like in public, but at a house or gun range, yes.

Are you currently searching for a job? soon.

Does eating breakfast make you sick? i’m never ever ever hungry for it. I know i should, but its the worst. I don’t even like breakfast foods.

[prettywordsyouleft]

Walk With Me (Puppy Week Collab)

Summary: Minhyuk thought that dog-sitting for his neighbour would just be another aspect to his busy day. He didn’t anticipate walking the dog becoming the best part to starting each morning since that’s where he met you.

Pairing: Lee Minhyuk x reader

Genre: puppy au / fluff

Warnings: none

A/N: Day 3 of puppies! I hope you’re all enjoying the collab @goodnightkisseu , @this-song-thats-only-for-you and myself have created!

Word count: 1767

[Puppy Week Masterlist]

It was interesting to Minhyuk how a simple task, such as walking a dog, could feel so refreshing to him. When he first promised his neighbour that he could look after their dog Gus, he hadn’t really given it much thought. As long as Gus was fed, watered and happy, then he would have met all of his needs.

“Gus, needs daily walking, will you be okay with that?”

“Of course!” he assured energetically, bending down to pet the top of the terrier’s head. “We’ll have lots of fun, won’t we boy?”

However, on the first day, Minhyuk had been swamped with work. He arrived home late, and after feeding both himself and Gus, he wanted nothing more than to just spend the night sprawled out in front of the television or playing games on his computer. He needed a stress relief and when Gus started dancing around the front door and scratching at it, Minhyuk was less than enthused. “Your puppy lawn is out here if you need the bathroom, Gus.”

The little dog didn’t appreciate Minhyuk picking him up and placing him on the faux grass mat on his balcony that his neighbours used in their home, ignoring the man’s proclamations to use it correctly and dashed back to the front door, bouncing around in circles and yapping in protest.

The miscommunication only frustrated him further, promising the dog that first thing in the morning, he’d take him for a walk.

Gus held Minhyuk to his word, his patience now weary from waiting for so long. As soon as Minhyuk’s alarm went off, the dog was right at the side of his bed, whining for attention from the human still holding onto the remnants of his slumber. Minhyuk grumbled, he was still exhausted and wanted to go back to sleep.

One look at the little dog, however, had him pulling his body upright, rubbing away the sleep and padding into his bathroom. Once dressed, Minhyuk clipped Gus into his walking gear, marvelling at how adorable the dog was in his harness. And they then stepped out the front door, heading for the elevator to take them out into the crisp early morning air.

Minhyuk hadn’t been quite prepared for how active the dog was. Sure, he knew most dogs enjoyed getting out to exercise, he had lived in the city long enough to see multitudes of people out at various times of the day walking their pets. Yet, he was surprised with how much tugging there was at the end of the lead, Gus all but eating up the pavement in his quake. He was a dog on a mission, leading his human for a walk as opposed to the other way round. And although Minhyuk hadn’t been ready for such energy, he laughed heartily, entering the park around the corner from his apartment building to give the dog more option of where to exercise. Soon, he was jogging along, Gus’ pace now a match for Minhyuk’s and he grinned down at the little dog as he took in breaths of the new morning.

When the walk was over, Minhyuk sufficiently exercised more than little Gus, he got ready for the day at work, marvelling mid-morning over how productive he was today.

“How many cups of coffee did you drink this morning?” Jooheon from sales questioned and Minhyuk chuckled, only to realise that he hadn’t had a single drop. After repeating this to his co-worker, the man laughed. “You, without coffee? Since when?!”

Minhyuk wasn’t prepared to announce his discovery, especially when he still needed to test the theory.

When the next morning arrived, Minhyuk was ready before Gus was. “Let’s go, buddy!”

Much like the day previous, the terrier was on the move, eager to get into the park and with a laugh, Minhyuk allowed him to lead the way before falling into an easy jog on one of the pathways. He relished in the feeling of the morning exercise, uncaring of almost an hour of sleep he had given up to do this. Minhyuk realised he had been missing out on a fundamental way to start his day.

Especially when he bumped into you.

“Oh! Gus!” he cried when the enthusiastic dog entangled himself in the lead of your dog, both pets avidly greeting each other generously. Minhyuk scratched the back of his head awkwardly as you smiled weakly, trying to call your dog back.

You then turned to him, a little embarrassed. “I think we might have to entangle them.”

“You’re right,” he agreed with a chuckle to ease the situation, weaving his lead around yours until you were both free again. You grinned at Minhyuk and he returned the gesture, falling into step at your side, both dogs happily walking on in their new company. “Sorry about that, I didn’t expect him to rush up like he did.”

“It’s actually more common than you would think.”

“Oh really?” he questioned, nodding his head with thought. You gave Minhyuk a quizzical expression and he laughed, pointing to his temporary companion. “Oh, I’m dog-sitting for a couple of weeks. I’ll have to be more prepared for him to rush at others in the future.”

“I was wondering why I hadn’t seen you before. Most dog owners out this early in the morning tend to have a mutual way of greeting each other.”

“Oh, does this mean I will see more of you around?” he asked, smiling at you brightly which seemed to startle you. Minhyuk eased his expression somewhat, wondering if he seemed too much.

You then giggled. “Who has more energy to burn off in the morning between you or your dog?”

“It’s about even,” he attempted with a grin and you mirrored it, nodding lightly.

“I’ll look forward to seeing you both tomorrow then.”

And you had. As each day went by, Minhyuk would find you and your dog Maisie easily in the park, walking together until it was time to head home and get ready for work. He was growing reluctant to leave your company each day, getting to know you effortlessly through a range of topics you both easily discussed as the dogs travelled side by side. Minhyuk was certain that Gus had become just as good of a friend to Maisie as he was becoming to you.

However, before he knew it, Gus’ owners were back from their trip abroad, collecting their furry family member upon arrival in the apartment complex. Although Minhyuk enjoyed seeing how excited the dog got over seeing his humans again, he couldn’t help but feel a little dejected when he shut the door. His home felt empty without the pattering of paws against the tiled floor and the bad habit of letting Gus sleep with him meant he woke up feeling colder in the morning.

And confused over what to do now.

After all, Minhyuk no longer had a dog to walk. Nothing was whining at him to hurry up and get out the door to the park, nor leading him down the pavement with a pace that didn’t match the appearance of the canine. He laid in his bed, wondering if he should still head out or not. It was then that he heard the rain start to pour from the skies, sobering his mood even further. Over the two weeks of dog-sitting, he had only needed to walk Gus in the rain once. It was a miserable affair, even if he had met you along the way. The consequence of owning a dog, you had told him with a sigh, shivering as the water seeped through your activewear.

Being so conflicted over what to do ended with no choice being made in time. When he finally got up, he didn’t have enough time to go out and find you and Maisie and instead chose to have a long breakfast instead.

Minhyuk drank three cups of coffee that day.

Waking the next morning, Minhyuk decided to go out. Even though he didn’t have Gus to run along with, there was still you. He also really enjoyed the exercise, feeling satisfied whenever he got back in his apartment to shower and get ready for the day.

It seemed you were also grateful for his return. Minhyuk noticed the smile that reached all the way up to your eyes, the genuine happiness of his approach bouncing over to him and making him feel warm.

It had only been one day, but he had missed you.

“Enjoy the sleep in yesterday?” you asked once he had told you about Gus going home and Minhyuk shook his head immediately. You frowned. “I would have loved not being soaked in the rain like you.”

“I would have rather been so,” he told you earnestly and you cocked your head to the side at his statement. “It felt weird not to be out here walking.”

“You mean, getting walked by Gus, right?” you teased and Minhyuk laughed, nodding along with your correction. “Is it weird without him?”

“I think I might need to get a dog,” he confirmed and you nudged him playfully.

“I bet Maisie would like that, she always enjoyed Gus’ company.”

“I enjoy yours,” Minhyuk announced and you diverted your gaze, your cheeks reddening as you bit at your lip. He enjoyed the reaction too much but knew the blazing of your skin would be uncomfortable and so he reached out for Maisie’s lead, taking it from your hand and jogging off a little with the dog. When he stopped to pat at her belly affectionately, he glanced up at your approach, your smile only making his lips curl up further.

It was refreshing to get out and exercise in the mornings, but Minhyuk knew the majority of his motivation came from meeting up with you each day too. When you arrived at his side, you slipped your arm around and curled your hand over his elbow, nodding up at his now stunned face. “I like your company too, Minhyuk. Until you get a new dog, I hope you’ll continue to join Maisie and I on our morning walks.”

He grinned and you both stepped off again, Minhyuk relishing in how you remained holding onto him. He shifted so he could reach the hand you had on him and linked it with his own, swinging it gently as you matched one another’s pace. He then looked forward, breathing in the morning air.

It felt sweeter today, and he anticipated the feeling of what it would be like to walk with you like this every day.

_________________

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[robotslovedeath]

Why You? | Draco M. x Reader (2)

A/N: Fuck it, I'm writing the second after not even 24h :)))) hope yall are happy uwu smh only 30+ notes for part 1 and thats more than enough for me,,, i love u all 💖

Word count: 2,050 words

Warnings: Cursing.

Summary: Y/N's been awfully interested in Harry Potter ever since she met him the first day she arrived at Hogwarts. Not that everyone else did, but crushes. What else could she say? It isn't until Draco, coincidentally crushing on Y/N, spots Potter and her laughing wholeheartedly, like nothing else in the world matters. Frustration hits him unexpectedly, and he tries everything to get him to lure you to him, eventually making you his.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 |

Sunlight hits your skin, carefully waking you up by the second it caressed you. You were thinking about what had happened yesterday, trying to remember everything. That's right, Draco Malfoy had wished that you should rest, after that stupid gesture of slapping Harry. You knew it wasn't right, but why did he have to mention Malfoy everytime Harry was talking to you?! Was he obsessed with him or something? Didn't he catch on by now? How could he be so foolish in a time like this?

You got up from your bed, changing in your robes and grabbing a few books from your shelf. Morning wasn't exactly your cup of tea, having to wake up so early. However, you knew Hermione and Ron were already awake, making you smile widely, excited to join them again. For Harry.. you wanted to wait for more than a week before talking to him again. Or maybe apologize now and forget about it? How the hell were you suppose to say sorry and get over it in only such a short matter of time?

Maybe Harry isn't my best choice..?

You think to yourself, before frowning and shaking your head in resentment, feeling the bitterness of your jealousy pitch in. He had someone else in mind, didn't he? Could it be? What if you were just over thinking everything? You knew how aggravated you could get sometimes, especially when one of your crushes had their eyes on somebody else.

Stomping around the coridors and walking inside the Great Hall to join your friends, you notice Harry eyeing you, touching his cheek before excusing himself, to leave you, Ron and Hermione alone. Your heart broke in millions of pieces, each and every one of them stinging your insides as you tried your best not to worry. Hermione rubbed your back soothingly, while Ron tried to make up reasons as to why he left. "No need, Ron," You cut him off, smiling softly, feeling as melancholic as ever. Your eyes glistened, tears falling free out of your E/C orbs. It was like you had lost the tiny stars that usually shun in your pupils. Your cheeks were soft as they held the taste of salty tears.

During breakfast, you couldn't help but see Malfoy, always staring back at you. He almost laughed everytime he thought back to when you slapped Potter across the face. Although, you ignored him, simply playing with your food or talk to your friends again. After what had happened, you weren't hungry, nor tired. All you needed was someone to talk to, someone even closer than the trio. Not that you hated them, or didn't trust them. You just wanted space away from them.

Parting so early, Hermione pouted at the notice of your exit. She told you it would be fine at the end of the day, and that you didn't have to worry about Harry. You picked up your belongings, waved goodbye and left for class. It was way too early to be heading there, but better be safe than sorry. God, it had to be Snape's class too. Way to start the day.

"Hey, Y/L/N, over here,"

"Y/L/N.."

"Y/L/N!"

You were startled by the sudden yelling, turning around to see who it was-

Draco fucking Malfoy.

You couldn't believe your eyes when he had just ordered you to come his way. Who did he think you were? His little pet? Chuckling, you shook your head in disgust and walked away from the now angered blonde-haired male. He was furious, thin brows furrowed while he trailed behind you, your body getting pulled backwards without hesitation. "What the fuck, Malfoy? What do you possibly need from me, for you to drag me away towards you?!"

He expected that response, a sly smirk forming on his pale rosy lips. "You know, Y/L/N, I've always wondered why you hated me. Is it because of what dear Potter told you? Do you truly believe him after that night?" He was easily teasing you, you backing up in a corner as Malfoy had you right where he wanted. "Uh.. to be precise I, uh.. I-I mean, y-yes," It had been a while since you stuttered your sentences, feeling yourself becoming weak and unsure with the questions he was about to ask you. "Aren't you too good for anyone, though? I've heard Potter mentioning great things about you. Like how selfless and helpful you are for your comrades. He doesn't see you like how you see him. He acts just like.. your little fanboy."

You were left speechless. What Malfoy had said was getting through your head. Was it true? Who could you believe? You hadn't known Malfoy for a while but, what if he was correct? What if everything was just a lie and that he had been been playing with you? Hermione and Ron had hinted plenty of times to Harry that you liked him.

He knew, didn't he.

"I-I.. Draco.." You began sobbing, thankfully your sleeves were wiping everything away. But it kept going and going, when would it stop? You made such a fool out of yourself, in front of him, too. It was at that moment a large figure embraced you; comforted by the touch, you stayed there, mesmerised by how gentle the gesture was. None other than Draco finally spoke, looking away from you.

".. Never speak of this," Draco whispered below your ear, hot breath tingling your neck. He felt absolutely devastated. Not only did he just undoubtedly tell you that he loved you, but just witnessed you crying for he 2nd time today. It was an issue that he could get way more attached than he intended to, insisting on accompanying you to Snape's class with him. He just had to have the same class, didn't he?

You two walked together in silence, Draco about to speak, then giving up on ever starting a conversation. It was too awkward to talk anymore, you being too tired to make an effort or just desperately wanting to get inside the classroom and forget about everything. That's right, you wanted to forget. While Draco, him on the other hand, had enjoyed every second. He had you placed exactly as planned, and he didn't even try his best. Was he a genius or a genius?

"Mr Malfoy. Miss Y/L/N. Unusually.. early. And together..?" Snape stared at the two of you, curious as to what you would reply with. "I wasn't with him. He just happened to be in my way. I'd be grateful if you didn't get the wrong idea, Professor," That proved you were in your wrong mindset, talking back to your teachers in a way you would never dare use. Oh boy, did Draco love that side of you. He goddamn loved discovering what else you could do.

Class finally started and went the same as usual. The trio being shocked to find you here before anyone else but otherwise it was like any other normal Hogwarts class. Snape rounded the class up, eyes especially locked at you. "Do not forget your assignments tomorrow.. any excuses will be a detention with me.. class dismissed," At last, you could now go and take a small break before heading to your second period.

Draco kept an eye on you too, following you as always instead of meeting up with his friends. He got way too attached by the second he laid hands on you. It.. wasn't pleasant. You're now heading close to your other class, wondering if Malfoy had the same. You prayed to God he didn't. He was behind you for Potions and all he did was mumble and stare. Mumble and stare. He didn't even look that happy and it genuinely made you feel scared for him. No reason to, but you just did.

Sitting down on the ground, you patiently waited for the second bell to ring, leaving you to go to your next class. Not now though, you had to finish off your F/B. Chapter 11 was always the interesting part. Meanwhile, Draco was hesitant. He took a deep breath, stepping towards you to back away again. It was useless. You weren't ever going to give him the attention he craved, were you?

"Y/N,"

You looked up, seeing the familiar boy stand in front of you. A deep sigh escaped your mouth and you stared back down at your F/B, uninterested as to what he had in store for you now. The way he looked at you earlier; he was serious. Probably a bit too serious. Not the Draco-- Malfoy, you knew earlier. You didn't want to get involved again, knowing what he had accomplished an hour ago wasn't something you wanted to experience again.

"What do you need now, you annoying cutie-?"

Did you just say that? Out loud? You didn't mean that at all. You swear it was an accident.

"ANNOYING PRAT. ANNOYING. PRAT. What do you want, Malfoy!" You smile widely, embarrassed, nervous and regretful towards yourself. You wish that was Harry- however life wasn't always that generous. He laughed, louder than usual, and crouched down to take a look at your book. "Huh, you read F/B? Never thought someone like you would be interested in such genre," That's fine.. he wasn't touching on the fact that you called him by the nickname 'cutie'. "And.. you shouldn't get too cocky, Y/N. Who knows what a cutie like me might achieve once alone with you?"

Now he was going way past your likings. Fuck! Why did you call him that in the first place? He wasn't cute.. or adorable.. he wasn't sweet.. you didn't find him charming at all. It wasn't like he was handsome too. None of that you thought of course. You liked Harry. Harry Potter. Potter, the one who rejected you. The one who had gotten slapped. Everyone knew about that too. They couldn't believe someone from Y/H would dare do such a thing to The Boy Who Lived. "..Merlin's beard, will you please just- just leave me alone. Please. Just once," Your sighs were repetitive now, everytime Draco was in sight.

"Understandable, sweetheart," He muttered, leaving you behind with a wink and light brush of his hand touching yours. You hated how you melted at that single action. It wasn't normal for you to be so tense around a guy you despised with a passion. What else could he be planning behind your back? When you were distant from your friends and family, you had plenty of reasons to stay alone by yourself. You could finish so many assignments with no one around.

The next class finished in a mattered of minutes, already grabbing your stuff and heading straight for the door. After all this fuss, it was lunch. You were starving. You kinda felt like Ron right now, craving anything that deemed edible but at first entering the Great Hall. Alone, book in hand while feeding yourself, your friends were immediately coming towards you, wanting to catch your attention ever since this morning.

"Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N!" Hermione yelled, "Where were you this whole time?! We've been wondering and saw you with Malfoy, is everything okay?" Ron hurried over next to you, examining you head to toe. "Thank Merlin, you're okay. Why were you sat at the back during Potions? And what happened during 2nd class? You nearly fell asleep at the back! Again! You're never ever at the back!" They gave you a reason to smile slightly, putting your book down and explaining everything. Expect for when Draco hugged you.

They were all surprised but were glad you were okay. The only person missing that didn't show up was Harry. You hadn't seen each other since this morning, making your heart ache. Your smile was widening again, being the wonderful sunshine you use to be years ago. You missed this. You wished Harry was there to see you.

"Y/N," Speak of the devil, "I need to talk to you. Privately," What was so important, all of a sudden?

"I know your secret,"

[buckyscrystalqueen]

The Cards: Part 7

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Swearing, angst, fluff, mentions of past abuse by readers ex. 

Word Count: 3,342

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You stood at the window of your hotel room for hours, looking down at the city through the rain that splattered on the window. Sara had long since gone to bed and Natasha and Steve had both gotten their own rooms to wait out Bucky’s return. Chloe was lying on the cold tile by the door, waiting for her daddy to come home.

As you dragged the dog tags back and forth on the chain, listing to the ‘tack-tack-tack’ sound the metal made on the ball chain, you wondered if you had pushed him to hard. You knew he wanted nothing more than to shut out the memories of the Winter Soldier; thats what you had been working so hard with him to do. And here you were, putting him right back into that state of mind.

Bucky finally came back just as the rain stopped and the sun was coming up. You turned around at the sound of the electronic door lock but you stayed by the window, wanting to give him the space he needed if he wanted it. He was soaking wet as he stepped into the room and said hi to Chloe. When his eyes finally met yours, he lost it.

“Doll…” You nodded as you walked across the room quickly and pulled him in for a hug as frustrated tears pooled in his eyes.

“I still love you.” You whispered as he buried his face in your neck. You ran your hands through his wet hair as he slid his hands up your spine and held on to your shoulders. You held him for a while; letting him be before pulling back. “Let’s go take a bath. Get you warmed up, OK?” He nodded as you took his hand and lead him toward your room.

“I’m really sorry, baby doll. I broke your crystal.” He said as he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out the now fragmented gemstone. You glanced back at his hand and shook your head.

“It was what you needed, baby. That’s how they work.” He nodded and gently laid the pieces down on the counter while you ran the bath water.

“That’s why I came back.” Your brow furrowed when he didn’t say anything else. You stood up straight and turned around to look at him.

“What is, baby?” His eyes stayed on the pieces of labradorite on the counter as you pulled off his wet clothes and dropped them on the floor. You could tell by the look on his face he was trying to collect his thoughts so you didn’t push. You pulled off your night clothes and got into the bath, pulling him in front of you and settling him between your legs. As he let the hot water embrace him, he began to relax against you.

“That first trip we took together to Brooklyn… you told me that you didn’t let these define you.” He said as he ran his thumb over a particularly deep scar on your leg near your knee. “You told me that it was OK to have a messy past because you could over come it.” You nodded as you ran your hands over his shoulders and rested them flat on his chest. He kept his eyes on your leg where his thumb was as he shook his head. “I don’t think I really understood that until tonight.

For years I was the Winter Soldier; mindless killing machine. They defined who I was. But now, I’m just Bucky… I didn’t know what that really meant until I found you.” He moved his hands off your legs and laid them on top of yours as he let his head fall back on your chest and looked at the shower in front of him. “After I walked out, I just walked around the strip for while and all I could think about was the monster they made me become. All the people I killed and the hurt and pain that I caused…” He shook his head and closed his eyes as he dragged his fingertips back and forth on the back of your hands. You gently kissed the top of his head in encouragement as he sorted out his thoughts.

“I forgot I even had the crystal in my hand; I was so caught up in the past. I punched a street sign and felt it shatter in my fist. I looked down at it and thought ‘it’s broken just like me.’ But then I thought of you.” He took ahold of your hands and pulled them around his shoulders so you were holding him as he took a deep breath. “You looked at the same wall I did; saw the same stories as me and you still didn’t see me as a monster. You saw me in a way I haven’t been able to see myself. You have always seen the good in me and that’s what defines me to you.” He finally looked up at you and you noticed his tears for the first time. “You see my heart.” You nodded as your own tears began to fall.

“Yea, baby. I see you.” He reached his right hand back and gently placed it on the back of your head to pull you in for a kiss. You cupped his cheek in your right hand as you laced your fingers with his over his heart. He pulled away and rested his cheek on your chest.

“Will you keep helping me see that?” You nodded as you kissed his forehead.

“Of course I will.” He nodded and twisted in the tub so he could lay on his side to wrap his arms around your waist.

“Promise?” You smiled at him as he looked up at you through his long lashes. You nodded as you reached up and brushed the hair back off his face.

“I promise. I will always be here for you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Well, don’t you two look cozy.” You said softly as you stepped out into the living room of your hotel and pulled your bedroom door closed behind you and Chloe. Sara and Steve both looked up at you over the back of the couch.

“How is he?” Steve asked as you walked around the dining room table. You sighed as you grabbed a few grapes off the breakfast cart they had and flopped down on the ‘U’ shaped green couch.

“Asleep, finally. He didn’t come back until just before six.” Steve sighed as he leaned back into the couch and ran his hand over the back of his head.

“I knew this was a bad idea…” You shook your head as you popped a grape into your mouth and gave your four-legged child half of one so she wouldn’t choke.

“See, that’s where your wrong.” Steve looked up at you as you chewed for a second. “Bucky has had a hard time differentiating the current ‘Bucky Barnes’ from the ‘Winter Soldier’ for months. That’s why Wanda sent him to me in the first place; to see if I could help. I did what I could to help but that walk through yesterday and the time he took to think after helped him really understand. See, what Wanda didn’t know about me is I come from a messy past, too.” You stretched your legs out and rested them on the table as you pulled your robe up to your knees. You heard Steve inhale sharply as he leaned forward and looked at the scars that marred your legs. 

“It’s a long story. But for the last eight years, I thought I didn’t let it define me. I didn’t even notice that I still was until I met Bucky… well actually, until last night.” You put down your robe and your legs as you fed Chloe the other half of her grape. “Bucky saw himself as a monster for what the HYDRA people made him do. I thought I was disgusting because of my scars so I kept them covered. Both of us have shown the other the person who we really are despite our scars. I see the good man they tried to destroy and he sees…”

“That you’re beautiful.” You all looked back at Bucky, who was standing in the doorway of the room, leaning against the door frame. “That’s why you don’t wear shorts.” You nodded as Chloe jumped off the couch to say good morning to her daddy like she did every day.

“You see me.” He nodded as he picked up Chloe and let her attack his face with morning kisses.

“I see you.”

“Well, while I’m happy you two can see, it’s a little early for the sappiness so can we dial it back a bit?” Sara teased as Bucky leaned over the back of the couch and gave you a chaste kiss.

“Shut up, Sara.” You both grumbled as you offered him a grape.

“So what are you doin’ here at 10am?” Bucky asked Steve as he sat down on the couch beside you. You smirked as a slight blush crept up Steve’s cheeks.

“Wanted to make sure you were OK.” He stammered. Bucky smirked as he kicked his feet up on the table and put Chloe on his lap.

“That’s the only reason, right Steve?” Steve chucked a pillow at his friend and you some how managed to deflect it with your hand before it hit Bucky and Chloe. “So where’s Nat?” Bucky asked as he took another grape out of your hand.

“Sure, you can have my breakfast.” You grumbled as you popped the last two grapes in your mouth.

“I’ll order more, calm down.” 

“She… umm… well she went back to New York.” You looked over at Sara with your eyebrows raised. You knew your best friend had something to do with this.

“Sara…” She raised her hands in the air and shook her head.

“Hey, I slept alone last night… and this morning.” She claimed when you opened your mouth to press her a little more. Steve turned bright red and covered his face.

“I believe her. Steve’s not that kinda guy.” Bucky said as he chuckled.

“She is… well…” Steve stammered.

“Finish your statement, pal.” Bucky teased as he got up to raid the breakfast cart with Chloe tucked under his arm.

“He’s cute when he’s embarrassed.” You teased, receiving a pillow to the face from Sara. “Alright, we’re done.” You said with a laugh.

“So are you headed back as well or are you hanging out for a while. I’m sure Captain America could use a vacation, too.” Bucky asked as he poured himself a cup of coffee since there wasn’t any food left on the cart.

“Well…” Steve said as he glanced over at Sara.

“If you want to stay to get to know Sara, that’s fine with us. We are… wait, what did we have planned for today?” Bucky asked as he sat back down on the couch. You shrugged as you commandeered his coffee.

“How about a pool day with your new found leg freedom?” Sara suggested. You paused mid-sip and subconsciously crossed your ankles. Bucky reached over and put his hand on your thigh.

“I’ll show mine if you show yours.” You looked up at him and nodded slowly as you handed him back his coffee.

“Alright, pool day it is.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I think coming to the pool with James Barnes and Captain America was probably one of our smarter moves.” Sara said as you laid out on lounge chairs. You nodded as you watched Steve and Bucky who had been talking to a small group kids in the pool for almost an hour. You noticed the moment the four of you walked in that when you were standing next to the two shirtless Avengers, no one cared about your legs.

“I should just have him stand around me shirtless all the time.” You teased as you took a sip of your drink; a Pineapple Punch that you were told was a specialty. You turned to look at your friend with a smile. “So… what’s going on with you and el Cap-ee-tan anyways?” She shrugged as she took a sip of her drink; a Summer Sangria.

“He’s cute. He’s really sweet.” You nodded as she glanced over at him. You giggled; you could recognize those heart eyes of hers anywhere.

“You should go for it. He seems into you.” She shrugged as she chewed on her straw with a smile.

“He’s got a cute butt.” At that moment, Bucky burst out laughing and looked over at you two.

“Shit, super hearing. Go!” You said to your friend as you both put your drinks down and ran to the far end of the pool, giggling like school girls. Sara grabbed your hand as you ducked under the rocks to the waterfall to hide in the grotto. You both sat down on edge of the pool and lowered yourself into the water.

“Think we’re safe?” She asked as she looked toward your seats to find the boys. You shrugged as you looked back at your friend.

“Who knows… but back to what we were saying…?” She sighed as she rested her arms on the edge of the pool.

“I don’t know. I just got divorced like three months ago…”

“Don’t give me that, shit. You’ve been out of love for four years and you know it.” She bobbed her head a bit and pursed her lips.

“I’m scared.” You nodded in understanding as you dipped under the water to cool off.

“What did you tell me about the universe and Bucky, though?” You asked as you brushed your hair back and rubbed the chlorinated water from your eyes. “And I know you have been getting the four of cups on your spreads…”

“Yea, I know.” She sighed as she dragged her fingers through the water. You watched a smile spread across her face. “Jump straight up when I say… now.” You tucked your knees to your chest and looked down as Bucky’s hands closed around nothing. You both laughed as he came up for air with a scowl and flipped his long hair out of his eyes.

“Cheater.” He said as he wrapped his arms around you and backed you up against the side of the pool.

“Oh, because I was just gunna let my best friend get dragged underwater?” Sara teased as she splashed water at Bucky. You giggled as he spun and heaved himself out of the water, moving you so that you were standing between his legs as Steve swam under the waterfall.

“Man, those kids talk a lot.” He said as he dipped his head back under the waterfall to wash his short brown hair back. You looked at him and Sara before taking Bucky’s hand with a smile.

“Come with me.” You said as you tried to pull him back into the water. His brow furrowed.

“I just got…” He stopped talking when you raised your eyebrows at him and looked at Sara out of the corner of your eye.

“I want my drink.” You said as you pulled on his arm again. He rolled his eyes and sunk back into the water.

“If you want to give them alone time, just say it, doll.” He chuckled. Your face deadpanned as you looked back at him and Sara groaned in embarrassment.

“James, I swear to God…” You grumbled as you pulled him through the waterfall. He laughed as he pulled you back to him and wrapped your legs around his waist.

“You love me.” He said as he walked through the shallow water on his knees back over to your chairs. You shook your head and smiled.

“I do, but you’re a pain in my ass.” He smiled at you as you wrapped your arms around his neck. You felt the wall hit your back lightly and you looked over your shoulder. “We got really lucky with these chairs.” You said as you leaned back and grabbed your drink.

“They are chairs, doll. There’s tons of them.” You shook your head as you sipped your drink through the little black straw.

“Notice how most of them are full. While you two were busy being fawned over, Sara and I had to yell at some girl who had spread her stuff out over four chairs to save them for people. Sara told her that if she didn’t move her shit, she would sick my killer dog on her.” Bucky laughed as you set your drink down on the edge of the pool.

“Yea, I would pay to see our vicious child attacking someone over a pool chair.” You giggled as he ran his hands up and down your legs. “I’m proud of you.” You looked up at him with your brow furrowed in question. “You put yourself out there.” You huffed a laugh and nodded.

“Couldn’t have done it without you, baby.” He smiled as he moved his hands to the backs of your thighs. He effortlessly lifted you out of the water and set you down on the edge of the pool. He placed a gentle kiss to the top of each thigh before standing up straight between your legs. 

“I love you.” You smiled at him as you placed your hands on his chest and ran your fingers over the scars he had been hiding as well.

“I love you.” He gave you a chaste kiss as he brushed his thumbs across your thighs. He pulled back to look at you with a smile.

“So, can I convince you to wear shorts to dinner later? Start with those longer ones that Sara wears.” He brushed his hands down to your knees. “Then we can work our way up.” He slowly moved his hands up your legs and thighs. “We’ll stop about here.” He said as he rested his hands at the top of your thighs, his fingertips just missing your core. You shivered slightly as he let out a small, wicked chuckle.

“You’re a horrible person.” You said as you wiggled ever so slightly, trying to get his hands a little higher. 

“Oh, well in that case.” He moved his hands completely off your legs and took a step back. 

“No!” You squealed as you kicked your legs out and wrapped them around his hips. He laughed as he moved your legs a little higher on his waist and stepped back over to you. 

“I thought I was a horrible person…” He teased as you wrapped your arms around his neck. You smirked and nodded.

“You are.” He rested his forehead on yours as he put his hands back on your thighs.

“Oh, yea?” You nodded as he inched his fingers up your thighs again.

“People can see you, slut.” Sara said as she came over and pulled herself on the side of the pool next to you. 

“Fuck you, Sara.” You groaned as you dropped your head down to Bucky’s shoulder as he moved his hands to a more appropriate place on the back of your thighs by your knees.

“So, we are talking about dinner and then going to see a magic show or something. Maybe go to a bar after?” Sara said as she got out of the pool, walked over and grabbed her drink. You shrugged as you leaned backwards to look at her.

“Which show?” She shrugged as she walked back over to the edge of the pool and sat down.

“We can ask Scott. He’ll point us in the right direction.” You nodded as you looked at Bucky.

“Fine by me.” Sara pointed at you as she took a sip of her drink.

“You two need to get a room.” She said as she put her hand on Steve’s shoulder and jumped back into the pool.

“We have a room, you just happen to always be in it.” You laughed as she took Steve’s hand and pulled him back toward the waterfall.

Part 8

[futurewriter2000]

Friends, love or nothing at all? ~ part 2

A/N: You wanted part 2, you got it. I really didn't intend to write part 2 for this imagine but since you guys wanted it I wrote it today.

Warning: I didn’t go through it so be careful for some grammar mistakes. 

Part 1 Part 3

Xx

Potions. Man you hated Potions. It was not because of the subject itself nor Proffesor Slughorn, but because in Potions you had to face the boy who broke your heart.

James Potter.

Soon when the new term arrived, final year, James returned to Hogwarts with a Head Boy badge and a girl under his arms, who appeared to be the Head Girl and the girl he cheated you with. Lilly Evans.

Fantastic.

After months of seeing them together you finally got used to it. It didn't matter anymore. You couldn't avoid him and you weren't the type to hide from your ex. You simply walked in the room with your head held high, not caring if they were there.

Except you did.

You cared a lot and it bothered you seeing them giggling and kissing together. But you pretended to be fine. It hurt, but it was okay because you knew you would get through this.

So here you were. Potions.

Waiting for Proffesor Slughorn to arrive was like waiting for a snail to cross the road. Impossible. So you sat there, your hand supporting your head and your eyelids slowly closing. You were exhausted from the yesterdays party. Damn those Hufflepuffs and their crazy parties.

James was listening to Lilly babble about something and he was slowly falling asleep. Yesterdays party was so crazy he doesn't even remember half of it. Lilly didn't go to the party, thats why she was acting like a 5 year old kid on speed.

His eyes drifted to you. You were already asleep with your hand still supporting your head. Your hair was put in a messy bun amd you looked just as terrible as he did. Except he didn't see you as terrible. He saw you as the most beautiful woman, who adorably sleeps through the class while her hand is slowly sliding away from your head. Until your hand falls, your head hitting the desk and your eyes immediately open.

James quietly chuckled. You looked so adorable right now, looking around if anybody saw that. Your cheeks were red from embarrassment and you tried to hide it with letting down your hair. So adorable. Even when you were not talking to him you seemed to make him laugh.

"I appologise for my absence, class. I have been dealing with some Mandarake drama." he appologised and clapped his hands together to start the class. "You will be paired up by..." he dragged while pulling an old wizarding hat from the desk. "Desenders hat." he finished and placed it on the table. "How it works is the hat pairs you up and you pull out the piece of parchment with your partners name on it."

"Great." you sighed and dropped your head back on your arms.

When the hat arrived to your desk, you reached deeply in it and only felt one piece of parchment. You pulled the parchment out and read the name written on it. Sirius Black.

Fan-freaking-tastic.

You turned towards him only to see him smiling at you and holding up his piece oc parchment with your name on it. Rolling your eyes, you took another sigh and dropped your head back at the table.

---

Standing and counting the ingredients you could feel his eyes on you. You looked at him in the corner of your eyes to catch him watching you back. A large smirk appeared on his lips and he winled at you. Rolling your eyes again, you took another deep sigh and turned your eyes back on the ingridients.

"I get the feeling you don't like us being partnered up." he grinned.

"I don't." you replied and started preparing the cauldron.

"Ouch! I didn't know you hated me." he said overdramatically, putting his hand on his chest.

"I never said I hated you Black. I only said I don't like being paired up with you." you replied and finally turned your gaze to him.

"Oh. Why don't you like being paired up with me?" he grinned and sat on the table.

"Because all you do is check me out every 2 minutes or annoy me. Plus you broke my best friends heart and I had to deal with 3 whole packages of tissues that weekend."

"I do not check you out every two minutes." he denied.

"Don't you think I noticed you. If I wasn't James' ex you would go after me like a wolf." you smirked and walked over to him.

You stood between his legs and you moved closer. Feeling him tense up and watch his eyes stare at you lips, you looked up to him and reached your hand to his ear. The two of you were inches away and you purposely bit your lip as you saw his eyes travel from head to toe. You leaned closer to his ear and whispered. "Have to get the salt." You grabbed the salt behind him and walked back to the cauldron.

He couldn't believe it. Was he just played by a girl? "Interesting." he smiled and jumped down from the desk.

"You liked?" you smirked and continued to prepare the tools.

"I loved." he replied.

"Good. Now that this is over can you stop flirting and help me with this crap?"

And he did as you said. He was actually helping you with the potion and the two of you had fun working together.

James on the other hand couldn't take his eyes off of the two of you. Seeing you giggling and flirting with his best friend hurt. It hurt him seeing you move on. Even the thought of you with another boy hurt him.

---

The next day you woke up quite early. It was a miracle to see you up in the morning this early. So you got dressed, brushed your hair, washed your face and brushed your teeth. Since your class starts in two hours you decided to wear your normal day clothes. So instead of the usual Hogwarts uniform you put on a black trainer, T-shirt and a jacket. Just when you were about to leave you noticed a piece of paper stucked on your calendar. 'Potions report with Black.'

"Shit." you cursed as you completly forgot about that. "Eh." you added and left the room. You'll just talk to him at breakfast.

And you were meaning to. Entering the Great Hall, you started scanning the Gryffindor table for dark curly hair.

And you saw him. He was sitting next to Remus and poking his book with a fork, while James and Peter laughed.

Finding an empty seat between Remus and Sirius, you plopped yourself down and smiled. "Cao Black."

"Cao? I like that." grinned Sirius and wiggled his eyebrows at you. "What do I owe the pleasure?"

"We have Potions report to do till Friday and I happened to have the most lazy partner in Hogwarts. We need to set up a study date."

"Yeah sure. Today at six in the common room.?" he asked and stuffed some eggs in his mouth.

"Yeah. I'm good." you said and got up. "And don't be late." you added before leaving towards some Hufflepuffs.

James watched you the whole time. Even now, when you were gone, his eyes were glued to you. You didn't even bothered to look at him nor to say hi. It sucked and it hurt. He didn't like the two of you being distant from eachother. He might be with Lilly right now but he still loved you.

---

It was 5 o'clock in the afternoon and you had nothing better to do than sit on the armchair and read. It was a terrible book to be honest. It talked about a girl who seemed to have the worst luck in the world. A girl whose first love turned into disappointment, a wife whose husband lost job and started drinking and a mother whose kids have died in the end. Terrible.

"Hey." said James standing in front of you.

You didn't even noticed him coming. This book was not even a good book and you seemed to get pulled into it.

"Hey." you replied and glanced up.

"I need to talk to you."

You closed your book and threw it on the desk. "Go for it."

"What are we excatly?" he asked sitting on the sofa next to you.

"What do you mean?"

"Are we friends, are we strangers or are we nothing at all?"

"James.." you sighed and turned your whole body towards him.

"Because I know you since I was 7 years old and you are really important to me (y/n). I can't live without you not even trying to look at me. I really don't want us to be strangers (y/n), hell I don't even think if I want us to be friends."

"What do you mean?" you preplexed and shot him a clueless look.

"What I did last year, cheating on you with Lilly, was the biggest mistake in my life. I hate myself for doing that. I hate seeing you with Sirius and flirting right in front of me. I hate not having you around. You make me laugh and happy. With you everything is just better. "

"Why are you telling me this? Why now? Why when I have finally decided to move on from you?"

"Because... I don't want you to move on from me. I want you to be with me. I love you (y/n)."

"You are so selfish James. You broke my heart on our anniversary and expect me to forgive you for that?" you yelled, standing up and grabbing your book. "Bye James."

"I have the necklace!" he shouted from behind and pulled out a silver necklace with stag horns. "I never took it off. Ever." he added and walked over to you.

You turned around, tears rolling down your cheeks as you looked at the boy who broke your heart. " You hu-hurt me." you stuttered.

"I know. I didn't mean to. I was a stupid and selfish piece of shit." he cried, feeling his eyes tear up. He cupped your chin and brushed the tears away from your cheeks. "But please believe me when I say that I love you. I love you (y/n)(y/l/n) and I will always love you."

"If I see you talking to another girl I cut you." you threatned with your shakey voice.

"You're the only girl want to talk to." he smiled and brushed his thumbs against your cheeks.

"I hate you so much for doing this to me." you continued.

"I hate myself too."

"If I say I love you, we'll start over? New chapter?"

"A whole new book?" he smiled through tears.

You pulled him down and pressed your lips against his. After a long and pasionate kiss filled with all sorts of emotions, you pulled away and looked up in those hazel eyes of his you thought you'd never see again. "I love you James Potter."

[jooheonies]

Chalkboards And Kisses |2|

Character(s): Reader X Shownu

Genre: fluff

Warning(s): uhh theres side!kihyuk if thats a warning, and this is also just a nonsense drabble like there’s absolutely no plot i wrote it at 3 am so i barely remember what happened

Length: 2.5k

Summary: In which you break a few bones and Hyunwoo is there to take care of you.

You love your job.

You really do.

It’s great, working with kids, watching them grow from bumbling legs that can’t recite the alphabet to bumbling legs that can spell their names with no help.

It’s great.

What makes it a little less great is when a boy by the name of Lee Jooheon gets a little to excitable, a little too enthusiastic on the monkey bars. He swings his legs back and forth a bit, shifting his weight to swing himself up. Unfortunately, his chubby fingers slip on the sweaty metal and send him flying three feet into the air, crashing straight into your body.

Lee Jooheon ends up sitting on your torso, perfectly unscathed.

You, on the other hand, wind up with a sprained ankle and four broken fingers.

/

“I’m sorry!” Jooheon cries, his lower lip wobbling, little tears brimming at the corners of his eyes. “I didn’t mean for that to happen!”

You smile at him, a little resigned and tired. “It’s alright, sweetie. Maybe we should exercise our safety rules next time, huh?” Your legs rest on the bench in the nurse’s office as she binds your fingers together, wrapping bandages over the twitching digits.

He bounces a little on his toes and pouts, wringing his hands. “My mom said that if you make people hurt, it’ll come back to get you. Does this mean I’m going to get hurt, too?”

You wince a bit as the nurse wraps a bandage over your ankle, folding a pack of ice into the cloth. “No, Jooheon. It was an accident and luckily nothing too bad happ–”

You’re interrupted by three sets of flailing limbs bursting through the nurse's door, muffled grunts of pain as Minhyuk presses a hand against Kihyun’s face and Hyungwon steps on their feet.

“Heard you got hurt?”

“Are you alright?”

“Did you try to go down the slide again?”

“God, will you please grow up, you’re too big for that?”

Your brows furrow and you press your hand to your ears in frustration. “Would you all please shut up?”

Their mouth snap shut with an almost audible clack.

“It’s not a big deal–”

“Oh, please!” Hyungwon exclaims. “How is it not a big deal? You’re broken!”

A muffled wail comes from the space next to you, and when you turn around, Jooheon’s face is buried in his palms as he sobs.

You don’t get paid enough for this.

The principal approves two weeks off from work, because the ability to use a pencil is kind of important when you’re a kindergarten teacher.

Minhyuk and Kihyun insist on driving you home, a situation you do your best to get out of, but when Hyungwon proposes driving you home and staying over for two weeks to help you out, it definitely becomes the better option.

/

“So,” Minhyuk drawls as he brings the soda cup up to his lips, sucking noisily through the straw, “how’s lover boy?”

Your fingers come up to pinch the bridge of your nose in exasperation. “His name is Hyunwoo. We’ve been dating for five months, Minhyuk. You know his name.”

“Right. So like I was saying, how’s it going with lover boy?”

Kihyun groans from the kitchen and strides out in a pink apron, knife in one hand. “Stop prying, Lee Minhyuk.”

“No. Go away, ugly.”

Kihyun returns to the kitchen with an exaggerated sigh, his cheeks a little red.

That’s new. Kihyun usually argues with Minhyuk for a good ten minutes.

Minhyuk turns to you, ears red as he chews on his lower lip. “Hey,” he whispers, “can I ask you something?”

Your eyes narrow in suspicion. “What.”

“Okay so this weird but Khyun and I may or may not have gotten drunk two nights ago and we may or may not have made out and he may or may not look really cute in that apron. So I may or may not want a repeat of that night sometime soon. On a regular basis. With other things.” Minhyuk wrings his fingers as he talks, on foot on the floor as he props the other up on your sofa.

You blink. “You like him?”

“Or may not.”

This is new.

Your mouth opens, but before you can say anything, Kihyun comes back into the room, this time holding a pot of soup in his hands.

“Eat, my spawn.”

“And so the ugly returns,” Minhyuk drawls from where he’s splayed across your sofa.

Kihyun sniffs and turns to Minhyuk with a grimace. “I hope you choke on a carrot.”

/

“I still can’t believe a five year old is the reason you have broken fingers,” Hyunwoo sighs over the phone, the faint revving of his motorcycle drowning out some of his words.

“Look,” you snap, hobbling out of the kitchen, a glass of water in one hand, “I couldn’t help it! Jooheon was–”

“He cried about it today when he came over,” Hyunwoo laughs. “He said he broke his favorite teacher.”

You laugh a little, wincing when your fingers slip on the glass. “He’s cute.”

“I know he is,” Hyunwoo murmurs as the sound of his motorcycle dims to a faint hum before it completely cuts. “He was really worried, but then Changkyun took out his legos and he stopped crying.”

Before you can answer him, the lock from your front door clicks and the knob turns. Hyunwoo saunters in, helmet tucked under one arm, a tote bag in his other hand.

“Hey, babe,” he grins as he tucks his phone into his jeans. Hyunwoo’s arms come into view as he shrugs his jacket off, a tight white shirt clinging to his chest. Your mouth grows dry.

“H–hey,” you answer, somewhat distantly as you stare at his arms. Hyunwoo is so nice to look at.

“My mom made you food and packed five blankets and sent over all the movies we have and also pain medicine.”

Hyunwoo walks closer to drop the bag down on your coffee table pulling out each blanket to lay it over your frame.

“Hyunwoo, I don’t need this many blankets,” you try, the sound muffled as he continues layering the blankets over your body.

“No. Trust me. My mom is great. She knows what she’s doing,” he answers, pulling out container after container of food.

“How did you get all of that to fit in there?” You ask, eyes wide in wonder.

“I dunno,” he shrugs. “My mom packed it. She’s like, a genius.” Hyunwoo looks up and smiles at you. “I love my mom.”

He pulls out a container of rice bigger than your head.

“My mom said this’ll last you for at least the day.”

“That’ll last me a week.”

“You gotta eat it all today. This is why you get hurt so easy. Nobody should break bones over a five year old landing on them.”

“Hyunwoo–”

“Hey, honey,” Hyunwoo says, brows furrowed as he reads the back of a pink cough syrup bottle. “Okay so I have baby medicine here. I know you’re small but . . . would this work on you?”

A heavy sigh escapes your lips. “No, baby. God, don’t you get sick?”

Hyunwoo looks up at you, expressionless. “No. My mom takes good care of me.”

“Shut the fuck u–”

“Have you not cleaned?” He interrupts, looking around the room. “Why are there so many crumbs on the floor?”

“Minhyuk and Kihyun came over and they both threw cookies at each other.”

You cross your arms over your chest and lean back into the soft leather of your couch.

Hyunwoo rolls his eyes and sighs under his breath. “When are they going to admit their feelings for each other?”

“Wait–what?” You stutter, voice painted with disbelief and shock. “You knew?”

Hyunwoo looks back up at you with an incredulous expression. “Of course I knew. Everybody knows. Except you. You’re really oblivious sometimes, babe.”

“My whole life has been a lie.”

/

Hyunwoo, as it turns out, is actually really good at taking care of you. He makes sure you take your medicine every five hours, brings you all your meals, and cleans your house.

You conclude that Hyunwoo is perfect. You’ve known this for a while.

Minhyuk and Kihyun come by again the next day, this time with Hyungwon in tow.

“I come bearing gifts,” Hyungwon announces as he walks into the room, dropping a bag of McDonald's down at the foot of your bed.

“A gift that cost you three dollars,” snorts Kihyun, one hand on his hip. You don’t miss the way his other hand is wrapped around Minhyuk’s, fingers intertwining.

“Three dollars plus tax!” Hyungwon exclaims, voice stretched with mock hurt, as he lays a hand over his chest.

Hyunwoo shifts on the bed next to you, the covers pulled all the way up to his chin. “Babe, how did they get in here? It’s six in the morning.”

“‘Sup, lover boy. We all know the passcode to get in. We just wanted to make sure she was doing alright.”

One day Lee Minhyuk will stop being an annoying brat.

Today, unfortunately, is clearly not going to be one of those days.

“Are you two . . . decent under there?” Minhyuk asks, a glint of amusement in his eyes. “Did lover boy enjoy his time here?”

Hyunwoo rolls his eyes and throws off the covers, clad in only a pair of sweatpants.

“Oh my,” Hyungwon says, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth. “Scandalous.”

“Wow, ya’ll are really fuckin’ when she’s broken?” Kihyun mutters, his voice dubious. “Looks like we didn’t even need to show up.”

“Oh my god, Kihyun,” you cry, face beet red, “I was just–”

“She likes it when I sleep without a shirt,” Hyunwoo interrupts, shrugging. He doesn’t seem to realize that just makes you even more embarrassed. “I like it, too. I’m gonna go make breakfast now.”

And with that, he walks out of the room, whistling low under his breath.

Three pairs of eyes whip back to you, watching as you stretch your arms above your head, the blankets pooling around your waist.

Minhyuk is the first one to break the silence. “Is that–is that his shirt?”

Your ears burn, tugging your lower lip between your teeth. “. . . it smells like him.”

“This is disgusting,” Hyungwon announces, legs crossed almost daintily from where he’s perched in your armchair.

“Why did you guys just barge in here?”

“Well we didn’t expect you’d have your half-naked boyfriend in your bed,” Kihyun says, eyes rolling.

Your eyes narrow, lips pursing. “So, Kihyun, has your arm glued itself to Minhyuk’s waist?”

He snatches his hand away from Minhyuk’s waist so quickly he nearly smacks himself in the face.

“He’s short,” Minhyuk says, a smirk gracing his lips. “He’s just trying to hold onto someone tall enough so he doesn’t get lost.”

“I’m not that short!”

“You’re really short.”

“No!”

“Yeah.”

“. . . okay, yeah I’m kind of short. I know I’m short.” Kihyun bites his lip, stifling the smile that threatens to split his face in half.

“God, is this how you two flirt now?” Hyungwon interrupts, disgust clear on his face.

“Shut up and call me when you finally grow a pair and ask out Bona,” Kihyun snaps.

“Shut up, shrimp,” Hyungwon bites back, lips curled over his teeth.

Minhyuk’s eyebrows snap together in a near audible click. “Don’t call him a shrimp!”

“You just called him short!” Hyungwon exclaims, gesticulating wildly with his hands.

“Only I can call him short. Not you.”

“Wait guys,” you mumble, the words coming out of your mouth slowly, dripping with confusion. “Bona? Like the music teacher? Hyungwon likes the music teacher?”

Minhyuk looks at you, nose wrinkled. “Yeah. Everybody knows.”

“Seriously?”

A low voice wafts by from the door, laced with amusement. “Babe. Everybody knows.”

When you turn your head, you find Hyunwoo leaning against the doorframe, a lazy smirk painted across his face, hands crossed over his chest. Even though you’d like to be annoyed that nobody told you, Hyunwoo’s bare chest and the sweatpants slung low on his hips have you forgetting the irritated words on the tip of your tongue.

“God, is she drooling?” Hyungwon murmurs, voice reeking of distaste.

“Get out.”

/

Breakfast is pancakes and coffee with Hyunwoo, admiring the way his back muscles move as he washes the dishes, cooing when he lifts you up in his arms and drops you onto the sofa.

“Sit. Stay.”

He moves around your living room, cleaning and wiping down the furniture, mumbling something about messy friends under his breath, a slight furrow in his brows.

It’s adorable, really, watching him put so much effort into trivial things, but Hyunwoo has always been like that. Always put his everything into whatever he does, be it school or even cleaning your house. His shoulders roll back as he sighs, fingers scratching over his bare chest as he looks around the room, grimacing at the carpet.

“Why do they always throw cookies at each other when they come here?”

You shrug, lips pursing into a pout. “Dunno. But this time when Kihyun threw the cookie too hard and it hit Minhyuk’s eye, he kissed it better.”

Hyunwoo’s face breaks into a smile, a low giggle slipping past his lips. “It’s cute that they finally got together.”

“If by cute you mean disgusting.”

He pulls the vacuum out from the closet and plugs it in, lips puckered as he vacuums. Hyunwoo looks damn good like this, you realize, shirtless, sweatpants hanging low, a trail of hair passing down his bellybutton. You bite down on your lower lip, head tilting to the side as he swivels the vacuum closer to the couch.

“Babe,” he says, jutting his chin to the side. “Move.”

Your arms automatically raise in the air, smiling at Hyunwoo. He sighs and steps forward, turning around as you wrap your hands over his shoulders, palms digging into thick biceps. Your legs curl over his waist, giggling as he hoists you up onto his back.

The muscles tense under your palms as he shifts, pulling the vacuum closer with one hand, the other pushing the couch up into the air. His fingers wrap loosely around the arm of the couch, muscles stiff as he vacuums underneath and you revel in the way Hyunwoo makes you feel so utterly safe.

“Babe,” he hums, as pushes the couch up higher, voice barely audible over the loud whirring, “Hyungwon mentioned he was going to bring take out but I don’t know when he’s comin–”

The front door chimes, lock clicking as it pushes open, interrupting Hyunwoo mid sentence.

Hyungwon saunters in, two plastic bags in his hands, and freezes at your doorstep. His face twists into a grimace, lip curling as he takes in Hyunwoo’s shirtless frame, your body draped over his back, the couch pushed up into the air with one hand, and the vacuum still noisily whirring.

“Disgusting,” he scoffs before turning on his heel and walking right back out the door.

/

“So,” Minhyuk drawls, munching noisily on a fry he pulls off of your plate, “Hyungwon tells me you and lover boy got real nice and cozy last week.”

Hyungwon scowls, eyebrows furrowed. “God, don’t remind me. She really does like it when he’s shirtless. I was appalled when I walked into the room and saw her hanging off his back . . . like some fucking growth.”

“She was hanging on his back?” Kihyun asks, eyebrows raised as he turns to Minhyuk. “Why don’t you ever carry me on your back.”

“Because,” Minhyuk replies, shoving three fries into his mouth, “you’re ugly and I don’t .”

“Yeah? Well you have a small dick and it’s not getting anywhere near my ass tonight.”

Minhyuk’s eyes fly open, hands raising up in defense. “Whoa there, baby, let’s not get carried away.”

Hyungwon rolls his eyes as he takes a sip of his water. “You guys are so–”

“Shut up,” Kihyun snaps, his upper lip ticking at the corner. “You haven’t even asked out Bona.”

“Fuck off, shrimp.”

“I told you to stop calling him shrimp! Only I can do that!”

A groan escapes your lips as you bring your fingertips up to massage your temples.

You love your job, you really do, but also you hate your job.

A/N: sorry ive been so inactive w writing but liek,,,i cant think of any plots for some reason dfhkdjhf this is Rough but i cant bring myself to edit rn im sorry

Masterlist

[ecotone99]

[MF] Sunday Scaries

The conversation formatting doesnt hold on reddit copy paste, so its much better read thru link

Linking at Top to not spoil the end - hope thats OK!

https://www.casualblasphemy.com/blog/sundayscaries

​

------------------------------------------

Jesus Christ and Other Swear words

Volume II: Anxiety Rainbow

A Slower Burn to Fiery Finish. About 10-15 minutes

Chapter 2, 3 or 7, not sure yet.

​

​

Chapter III: Sunday Night Scream Into the Void

I lie (awake) to myself

A feeling of impending doom. So many emails. Existential dread and the Sunday Scaries.

I cannot sleep, it is nearly midnight. I have so much to do this week.

I lie awake and try to think of all the embarrassing things other people have done.

I can't think of any, so I go back to remembering my own social failings.

The time I tripped in front of my Crush age 14. My disastrous bangs of just last year. The time I mispronounced Worcheschertshishire in front of my cute coworker. The 23 blocks I walked with toilet paper stuck to my foot and that afternoon tanning in the park with a tampon string dangling from my bikini bottoms. Everyone remembers. I am sure of it. I farted once on a conference call.

Monday is only a few hours away. So many emails and the dishes sit soaking for a third day. I shouldn't have slept in today. I have so much to do tomorrow. I think about every time i've fucked up in my past 30 years.

My anxiety builds and I try again to refocus my attention. I try to remember all the embarrassing things other people have done, but I literally cannot think of any. I sort of remember one of my friends shitting his pants. Was that the day I walked into the sliding glass door. Do you think he remembers? Oh god, was it me that poped my pants? Oh jeez, i said poped, not pooped. Im talking out loud to myself.

Thank god no one is here.

I feel lonely.

----

I eat a CBD chocolate and feel the anxiety of impending doom. So many emails.

I remember. I remember every embarrassing thing I have done in my entire life. I have so much to do this week. So many emails. I have a meeting tomorrow and I don't feel prepared. That time I was left hanging for a high five with my hand in the air. I looked like Hitler with no friends. It is Sunday and life is Scary. So much to do this week. Were they laughing at me? I feel lonely. No one talked to me today. I feel like the Pluto of my friend group.

I decide to crowdsource some self esteem and climb on Tinder.

Left

Left

Right

Match!

Left

Left

Oh damn this guy is hot.

Damn, 5’10

Left

Right

Match!

Left

Left

Right

Match!

Right

Match!

Right

Match!

Every time I swipe right it's a Match. I feel attractive and desirable

Left

Left

ew

Left

Left

Double ew!

Left

Right

Right

Nothing. What!?

I lower my standards

Right

Right

Right

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing

Sunday Feels Scary Again. I have so much to do tomorrow. I don't want to play the game anymore. I fear rejection from strangers. Kinda horny tho. I survey my matches and read messages:

“Hey”

“Wanna Fuck?”

“Nice weather Today”

“Show me your bobs?”

“Nice Feet”

A profile stands out

Blake

6”2’ “Ive never shoed a horse, but I told a Cow to go home once”

I don't really get it, but he's HOT. That fish he caught is HUGE! I climb out of my comfort zone and message first. I've never done this before

“Hey” she wrote with butterflies

….

…….

………..

18 minutes pass. Nothing.

I go back to swiping unenthusiastically

Right

Right

Nothing.

I feel like a Moth in a world of Butterflies. Undesirable.

OH GOD. I research gravity blankets and take a xanax. I think of Cocoons.

I fall asleep lonely horny disappointed anxious and 8% numb. So many emails. Maybe I can do the dishes tomorrow after work, the gym, and picking up my prescriptions. I shouldn't have messaged him. I need groceries. That time I tripped on the bleachers and Becky laughed at me. I run through the grocery list in my head. Eggs, avocados, kombucha, spinach, Shame, paper towels, CBD chocolates. I feel weird.

------

I survive another week with espresso and antidepressants. It was hard. I am so tired. I am so tired all the time. Its sunday night and I feel The Doom coming again. I batten the hatches and prepare to wait out the emotional storm under the weight of my new Gravity Blanket. Its heavy and sweaty and I regret buying it. My anxiety rises to new highs and I feel like an idiot. Thank god no one is here. I feel lonely.

Ping!

Blake: :Me

“Hey ;) still up?”

I think about unmatching to teach him a lesson for not replying to me last week, but digital or not, I really need this distracting attention.

“Maybe ;) whatcha doing?”

Trying not to think about Monday LOL

LOLOL Same Same. Sunday Scaries :o

LOL I KNOW! Just gotta get through this week,

I am getting a puppy on Friday!

Puppy! What kind!?

A Frenchi :) her name is Luna

OMG NEED!

You have any pets?

Nooooo :(

You can come play with mine!

Cats or Dogs?

YES PLZ! I grew up with dogs :)

What was the name of your first pet?

Daisy :) she was so sweet

Awww, where did you grow up?

Seattle, just moved for a new job

It's hard being in a new city!

Well I can show you around!

What is your job?

Never been to Seattle, were you born there?

Born in Suburbia, lol

a little town nearby called Auburn

I work for a company that has meetings

I have a friend from Auburn!

LoL what do you meet about?

No way!

We meet about other meetings

Yea, did you got to Westside Elementary?

Eastside

Oh nice, her mom was a teacher there

Did you have Mrs. Ellison for 1st grade English?

I don't remember a Mrs. Ellison?

I had a Mr. Gardner

Oh lol. U like cars?

Sort of

I just got a new one :)

What was the make and model of your first car?

Wow! You are having quite the year!

Lol 1994 black honda civic. The dream

You sound like a Capricorn

Virgo!

Oh nice, when is your birthday?

August 24th, 1990

Just got a pic of my puppy, wanna see?

OMG YES

206-390-0345

I like Capricorns ;)

Oh god that sounded desperate

Texted you

Didn't get it!

Tried again

Nothing :(

Lol new phone too, I think its fucked tho

Whats your email, I wanna show you my bb pup!

Lol look at you Mr. New

[VeganJessica3@gmail.com](mailto:VeganJessica3@gmail.com)

….

……

……..

Did you send it?

…..

Hello?

Fal Asleep? lol

Ping!

An email arrives to my racing heart. He's so inquisitive! New car and a puppy! I wonder what he does for a living? Such a Gentleman, that was a whole hour of texting and he didn't even ask for nudes. I click the notification but my email won't open.

Please login to continue. I type my password “Daisy123”

Incorrect password/email combination

Please try again

Oh, is it lowercase?

******3

Please Try Again

*****3

Please Try Again

******3

Please Try Again

Ugh im so tired, I can't even type right. I'll leave it for morning

--------

MondayVegan Jessica III sleeps well in dreams of Blake, Frenchi’s and Avocados under the weight of her anti-anxiety gravity blanket. She wakes with a smile and grabs her phone eagerly.

Please Try Again

Please Try Again

Vegan Jessica III eats her last free-range Avocado on a piece of whole-wheat gluten-free non-cruelty noGMO carboloaf. Num!

Please Try Again

Fucking Annoying!

I switch over to my work email and begin responding to CC threads as I walk to the train. I meet with my team and we plan our next meeting. We have a great plan to plan.

I get home exhausted. I am so tired. We met for three hours and planned for three more days of planning meetings about meeting plans. I log in to tinder and check my messages. Nothing. I take a xanax and go to sleep. The dishes are molding and i'm out of avocados.

Tuesday

I wake stressed and skip breakfast. I head into work and drink espresso. We meet again to discuss our plan to plan. Everything goes as planned and we adjourn. I get out of work 15 minutes early and swing by CVS Pharmacy for LaCroix and drugs.

Some freak in a fedora oggles my breasts through my oversized sweater. What is he even looking at?

“Hi, yes, prescription pickup for Vegan Jessica III. It should have been called in Monday”

“Sure thing, insurance and ID please. Have a seat, it'll be about 15 minutes”

Pharmacists are just drug baristas, change my mind. I wait 45 minutes for the man in the never-dirtied lab coat to grab a prepackaged bottle of prozac from the wall. I hand him my credit card.

“Im sorry Ma’am, your card was declined, do you have another?”

The word ‘Ma’am’ turns three of my pubic hairs grey. It makes me kind of miss that creep in the fedora surveying my body.

Are you sure? Can you try again

Yes ma’am, the card is declined. Do you have another Ma’am?

Ma’am

Can you try calling them? I left my debit at home and don't have any cash.

I glance at my Fitbit. The time is 6:01pm

Its after 6pm Ma’am, you'll have to wait till tomorrow.

I leave the CVS and the pharmacists spends the next 30 minutes placing the bottle of pills back on the shelf.

----

I go home feeling frustrated. I skip the mailbox, dishes, dustbunnies and head straight for my bed. I pull the gravity blanket over my head like a ghost and feel a little better. I eat a half a pound of CBD chocolate and feel much better.

I log into Tinder. Fucking Blake ghosted. Unmatched. Under my blanket I get scared of ghosts and eat another ¼ pound of CBD chocolate.

Wednesday

I wake feeling like shit. I don't know why. I feel stressed. I call in sick to work and take a xanax and go back to bed. I awake to a phonecall from an unknown number. Fucking spamassrobocalls. I scream FUCK YOU to 1s and 0s. There's a panic rising in my throat.

I haven't checked my personal email in days now and try to log back in. I click password recovery and an email is sent to my old college email | [VegetarianJessica@college.edu](mailto:VegetarianJessica@college.edu). Ugh I can't believe I used to eat honey and drink milk with my coffee; I feel ashamed of my former self. It feels like a Sunday, but it's only wednesday.

I try to login to my old college email to recover my password for my post-college email.

I try to remember my old password

Please Try again

I try all my old combinations

Please Try again

Please Try again

Please Try again

Please Try again

Lockout timer 29:59..

29:58….

29:57….

Ugh I hate this shit.

Trying to recover a password to recover a password. Did I type it wrong? Was it capitalized? Am I just not remembering it right? Was the ‘I’ a “!” ?? Was there 123 at the end, or maybe beginning?

I need to set my passwords to things I can never forget. Maybe take a lesson from Sunday. Shame and Trauma seem to make for fantastic passwords.

MyFatherAbandonedOurFamilyIn1997!

That's not something im likely to forget

I spend the next 29 minutes finally doing the dishes and feel a little better.

Please Try again

Please Try again

Please Try again

Please Try again

Lockout timer 59:59

FUCK

I hate this shit. I click the password recovery button on my college email and a third is sent to my very first email address. [Jessica1990AuburnWA@aol.com](mailto:Jessica1990AuburnWA@aol.com)

I go to AOL.com and try to login

Please Try again

Please Try again

Please Try again

Please Try again

Please Try again

Please Try again

Please Try again

Please Try again

It feels like im opening those Russian Dolls. Every time I open one, another is there. The Russian Nesting Dolls of Digital Frustration. Please Try Again Later.

Recover the password

to recover the password

to recover the password

Please Try Again

I channel my frustration and hit the gym. Pilates class with Pontious. I stop on the way home and Scream into the Void. I feel a little better.

I check the mailbox before the stairs.

I turn the key and an avalanche spills out. Envelope after envelope, it seems unending. They just keep coming. The cascade flow dries to a dribble and I reach inside to scoop the rest of my mail out.

My arms are full of dead trees and I feel sad. Plus its like super heavy after an hour of cross planking. I ascend the stairs and unlock the door with my keys in my mouth. I push the door open with my forehead and dump the heavy mess of envelopes and magazines on the floor.

A Victoria Secret catalogue catches my eye. I make a mental note of my despise for their company message and start perusing the pages. What kind of image are they putting in the heads of young girls. False standards of beauty. Where are the real women! That bra is like super cute tho. I order three in different colors but my card is declined. The bras never come, its ok tho, they wouldn't have fit me anyway.

When my card is declined I think of Blake’s rejection again. Ghosted. What an asshole. Whatever he's probably just another pig who gets off to Victoria Secret models and supports an impossible standard of beauty. I am now convinced Victoria’s real Secret is mainstream distribution of introductory pornography to young boys in suburbia. That's a big mental leap to take from subquality prethought, but I think it's important to note where some of these idolized false standards of beauty start. They start with aging young Mother’s ordering VS products and catalogs to catch renewed interest from their lazily inattentive husbands and trickledown pornoEconomics recycles the catalogs to prepubescent boys. Hidden and stolen, they are a prime middle-school currency. The image of Desire becomes fixed in pubescent development and the path upscycles again.

I throw the catalog away disgusted and pick up my copy of the much more realistic Vogue. I eat more CBD chocolate and forget to call my credit card company. I fall asleep with fragrant advertisements and two miles of photoshop-smoothed Gigi Hadid legs on my face.

Friday

It's a beautiful morning and i'm feeling rested. I don't know what happened to Thursday. We have a brief meeting about next week's meeting and are dismissed early. Summer Fridays are the best! I meet up with my besties and we dress up to impossible standards of beauty.

Thin pink straps patterned with “VS VS VS” loop my shoulders out of my strapless black dress. Clash is in. I think it looks cute even tho the bra doesn't fit well. I lace up my gladiator platform cork wedges and we head out for a night of dancing.

I dance next to my ugliest friend and bask in double attention.

Buy you a Drink?

Wanna Dance?

Ever Ride a Motorcycle?

All eyes on me. I dance and twirl and snort the night away. This cocaine is fantastic. My credit card still doesn't work so I have boys buy me drinks. I black out a bit and wake up in my Uber home. Its light out and the birds won't shut up about the stupid sun. My heart is beating arhythmically and I feel weird. A feeling of impending doom is brewing and it makes me feel weirder - it's not even Sunday.

I sober up a bit, but can't sleep. I decide to finish the vial of cocaine I took from that boy and do some housekeeping.

I take the trash out and open my computer. I feel inspired to clean and conquer.

I will recover my password!

I see a button for ‘alternate recovery options’ on my ancient @aol email and click

A series of questions challenge my identity

“Date of Birth”

August 24th, 1990

“What was the name of your first Pet?”

Daisy

“What was the name of your 1st grade English Teacher?

Mr. Gardner

“What City Were you Born in?”

Auburn

“What was the Make and Model of your First Car?”

1994 Black Honda Civic

And just like that I'm in! I recover my password and recover my password and recover my password.

The russian dolls reassemble and my anxiety plummets

--------

----

---

Until I open Gmail to a Nightmare

The realization grips me. The Saturday Scaries are Real. I spring to the 4 foot foyer of my apartment where the non-fashion-catalog remainder of my mail avalanche sits piled like rubble.

I rifle through envelopes and cut my finger. It really stings. I suckle a droplet of blood and read the envelopes

Chase | Amex | Credit Karma | MasterCard | Kohls Discover Card | ATT | SPRINT | T-Mobile

Bills. Bills of all kinds. Bills of all shapes and sizes. Bills Not mine, but mine. An acre of rainforest in bills.

My iphone rings and my phone wont open. Panic Panic Panic. Saturday Scaries. I pull my bleeding finger from my mouth and the iphone recognizes my face. I answer the call

“Ma’am i'm calling from TransUnion Credit Reporting, we've seen some unusual activity on your report this week, can you confirm opening the following 227 Credit Cards on Sunday between the hours of 11pm and 4am Monday Morning?”

(This phone call 97% actually happened)

My vision spots and I hit the floor.

___

I awake Sunday. My head is throbbing and my finger hurts. I look at the papercut and it stares back with green eyes. It smells like Almond Butter, but the gross GMO kind. I put CBD oil on it and leave the house.

I head to the hospital, but my credit card is declined. My finger is green to the knuckle and it definitely feels like a Sunday.

I head home and curl up in my bed. With my green arm I pull the gravity blanket over my head and cry. I fall asleep feeling scared and not safe.

I wake to pain. The green has spread throughout my whole body. I feel weak. I need to go to work. So many emails.

I feel The DOOM

I try to lift the gravity blanket, but I am weak and it is too heavy.

The longer I stay, the weaker I become. Days pass and I miss meeting after meeting. I sweat profusely trapped inside a cocoon of anxiety. Unseen emails pile up and add to the weight. My phone is out of battery and I can't reach past the blanket for my charger. I need water. I really need water.

I feel The DOOM

I think of blood poisoning and my plummeting credit scoreThe Chrysalis hardens to reject the outside world

It becomes my Tomb. I feel safe here.

Immune to Anxiety

No emails, no meetings.

The DOOM fades to black and so do I.

submitted by /u/Beerandcabfare [link] [comments] via Blogger https://ift.tt/2QcBhf7

[nalanamora-blog]

Why

I was living with my mom. I don't remember if I mentioned it in my previous post. At this time I had already moved out from Alexis’ house. And Moe... He still had my phone. I used my sisters to text him at tell him to come over and bring it back. He did. He never hesitated to do anything I asked him to. Like many of the men I tend to surround myself with, he would do anything for me. He came over. My brother was not okay with me talking to him let alone him coming to the house. He did anyway, and we talked as my brother stood out of sight in the hallway. He was close by, still in line of sight with me. He waited patiently flipping a kitchen knife in his hands. I spoke with Moe from the other side of my gate. I wouldn't let him in. My brother would have stabbed him if he got too close. He apologized. Oddly enough I forgave him then and there. Mentioned that the trust was gone along with the rest of my desire to be with him any longer. He stayed in front of the gate. Begging me to reconsider and listen to anything else he wanted to say. He even mentioned that he didn't hit me at all. But how could I make up something like that? I wanted to strangle him. Making me seem like a liar. A part of me still loved him. I wanted to hold him and smell that cologne he always wore. Snuggle up in his arms and bury my face in his chest while he told me everything would be okay. He did that for me a lot when we were together. Thats all I wanted.For things to go back to the way they used to be. Before all this mess. He stayed away for a while. Two... maybe three weeks. I was okay. I missed him here and there but not enough to reach out. He texted me. Something about the new Finding Dory movie that came out. We had promised each other that we would watch it together. The movie theater was our thing. Now I'm not one to go back on my word.... so I went.

It was as if nothing happened. 

Everything was normal. He wasn't aggressive or angry or upset. When he dropped me off he apologized time after time again and i was sick of being reminded of what happened. I told him to forget it. He rolled a blunt and we smoked. Talked things over. I wasn't ready to get back together. We both needed to do some reflecting. After that night, the next few nights we hung out. Just smoked here and there, grabbed a bite to eat. Nothing major. Things were going smoothly. We reestablished our relationship and the new boundaries necessary to make things work. Before you know it, we were back together. 

My parents were not happy about that.

They questioned me. They couldn't wrap their heads around it. And to be honest, neither could I. My mother told me to really think things through. Did she really think I didn't? I wanted to make things right. I mean, everyone deserves a second chance right? He wasn't the only one at fault. I played my part in all this too. He was angry for a reason. Still, my ideas and reasons weren't good enough for them. Not my parents, not my siblings, and definitely not my friends. They didn't understand. They couldn't understand. Everything that I had been through with Moe. From sleeping in his car when I had no where else and letting me take it to work, always making sure I had something to eat, taking care of me when I was sick and none else would, going to church together, we really grew together. At the same time i knew that if I had a friend in my situation, I would be telling them the same thing they’re all telling me. Theres no excuse. 

Boy should I have listened...

We continued on and off. The lack of trust changed us. There was no trust. Even though he claimed he did so much. He was constantly trying to see my phone and manage who I spent my time with. I was being micromanaged. It was too much for me. Hung out with my photographer often. He remains to be one of my greatest friends today. One day Moe called me 85 times. I couldn't even use my phone. I was embarrassed and irritated. I didn't want to do this anymore. But I did. over and over again. I forgave and forgave expecting something to be different. I had the day off. We decided to do something together. Spend they day at the park and then head to a movie. He asked me something. His old buddies form the marines were in town with nothing to do and they wanted to spend some time with him before they all wen home or got shipped off to different stations. Who was I to day no?

I damn sure should have.

The night before we spent the night in a hotel. The guys in their own room and Moe and I in ours. At first we chilled in their room. Drinking and getting to know each other. They were a weird bunch. A couple nerds and one douchey pretty boy. None of them intimidating, none of them intelligent. As the night went on i got tired. Moe walked me back to the room and said he'd be back when they decided to call it a night. I woke up the next morning next to Moe. I guess he came back and I hadn't noticed. When they called our room they mentioned something about breakfast. I was dubbed decision maker since i was the only girl I suppose. Denny’s it was. We gathered in the parking lot and packed our stuff into their car. Moe didn't have a car at the time. (Some company repo’ed the first one and the second one was an $800 pice of crap.) It was about 11am and they had decided to start drinking beers. More like chugging actually. 

Do Marines really get that bored?

Anyways, after two beers in the parking lot, we headed to Denny's. We got out of the car which meant another beer. When we got inside, there was a long line considering it was a sunday morning... another beer. I waited inside. It seemed like they were already drunk. We ate and then headed to Balboa Park. Didn't really walk around. Just got out of the car and stood there really. Super uneventful. that was, until they pulled out a massive bottle of Captain Morgan and a two liter of Coke. I wasn't drinking that shit. I was over the entire day. thats all they did! Talk about stupid shit and memories and drink. Thats not my idea of fun. It wasn't long before one of his buddies looked weary. I backed up. I knew what was going down... in they case, coming up. He sloshed his body forward and hurled everywhere. Drank too much. 

Idiot.

They got him in the car and we drove off. People in the parking lot were beginning to stare. I was so embarrassed to be around them. Moe drove us away. He had been planning to get a manual car so his buddies let him practice on theirs. After stalling on a left turn, we hit this spot we call “the wash.” Moe and I would go there to smoke. It was a cool place in a tiny residential area. If you hopped the fence, you'd be sitting atop the La River. It was quiet and we had the place to ourselves. Seemed like most of the guys were pretty hammered at this point. They stopped drinking and began to teach Moe how to drive a stick shift. This went on for about 3 hours. I was bored out of my fucking mind. I wanted to leave. We ended up deciding to Watch a movie. Before we arrived, one of his buddies decided to smack the driver in the face. Since his glasses flew off we stopped in the middle of the road until he could SEE and safely pull over to the sidewalk. This guy was so drunk, he and Moe got into a fight. Thats when I told Moe I wanted to leave. The guys drove back to SD and i was suck on the side of the road with Drunken Moe. I was cold. It was already about 7pm and it was getting late. I suggested that we walk to the movies since we were already on the corner of the street. He said no. He was so upset that he got into a fight with his friends before they all left. It was the last time they were going to see each other for a while and this is how it ended. I understood his feelings and why he was so upset but i figured he would be a little more concerned for the person who gave up the day so he should spend time with them. I was pissed. I told him I was walking home. I know what you're thinking.

“Why didn't you Uber?” 

Fist off, my house wasn't too far. Maybe nine blocks or so. I wanted to clear my head and spend some time alone before i went home and had to come up with an explanation for my parents on the spot. Second, I was short on money. I knew i could use that money for something more important like food. So he followed me. Even when i asked him to leave me alone. Not only did he follow me, he yelled after me, He grabbed my arms and twisted my backpack around me so that I couldn't escape his hold... It was bad. When i finally got to the stairwell in my apartment building, enough time had gone by for him to have sobered up a bit. I told him i was scared of him. The same kind of scared that i was in the car. He didn't understand. He yelled at me for bringing up the past. He didn't understand that i was referencing the feeling. I wanted him to understand how i felt. I guess he wasn't sober enough. I tried to move past him to get onto the second floor. My apartment was the first door from the stairwell. I was so close to home. Thats when he pushed me. I fell down about 5 stairs and curled up in the corner. By the good graces of God, some neighbors came into the stairwell. If Moe was afraid of anything, it was other people seeing him abuse me. I pushed past him and went home. Again, he tried to apologize. He showed up at the front of my apartment to stop me from getting into an Uber so we could talk. The Uber driver threatened to call the police but that didn't stop him from holding my door open. I got out, shoved him away and closed the door and locked it. 

This was NOT love.

I always wanted someone to fight for me. Someone that would risk anything for me. But not like this. This was fucking psycho. I wanted out. I broke up with him over the phone that day. We haven't been together since.