#why didnt i get that earlier lol
Note
The baseball bat on the head relates to "how to kill a geologist"
"-and then I'd hit him with the wooden baseball bat in my other hand, which they would not have noticed because geologists can only see rocks and minerals."
-✨️anon
Oh!! Wait I have seen this!!! Oh that's funny. I'm kinda sad I didn't realize that earlier lol
-Raven
(this ask references this post!)
#✨️ anon#pixlriffs#how to kill a geologist#new life smp#not a bad idea#from raven#that's funny#why didnt i get that earlier lol
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The way I see it, the Greeks and Romans were never like, "omg Muse leave me the fuck alone, i need to stop obsessing," so why should I? 😌 Arma virumque cano. Eu canto as armas e o varão...
#kelp#dungeons and dragons#sea elf#raydraws#runechild sorcerer#the hateful six#shattered moon#my pretty fish man#i invoke calliope#yeah I'm quoting the aeneid to justify my obsession lol#granted vergil was getting paid by the fucking emperor to write#while im just having fun but hey#does look like I'm gonna be playing with pietas as a motif here (why didnt i realize this earlier) xD#and lol do i fucking love his and Lehiri's relationship#they can go from the cutest conversation about sheep to heated debate in the drop of a hat#and i gotta reread five times to even figure out what triggered either of them xD#i live
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literally wanna dieeeee I realized belatedly that not only was down bad written for me due to being an alien abduction metaphor song but it perfectly describes my situation w/my ex who dumped me 3 days into our second vacation in his country
#but yknow thats what i get for dating a fucking man last year when i absolutely knew better. i was in a low place & the idea of being#whisked away from europe was an escape for me . we got along really well but the second i showed any emotional weakness he couldnt handle i#oh but he sent a bunch of messages begging me to come back when i was on the plane fleeing to my sisters london flat! lol!!!#i didnt tell you guys about any of this on my old blog when it was happening bc i just knew itd invite a flood of#''why were you even dating a man'' messages. yeah im aware. it was stupid & yet another result of my inability to purge myself of the#desire to be in a relationship my homophobic father wouldnt hate me for. and i didnt think any woman would want me . im over it now#fuck my abusive father fuck men in general im so over the internalized homophobia. ive always preferred women why should i have to#supress that to make my fuckface hypocrite father happy. i only rly care bc i love my half brother & want to be in his life which means#i have to appease dad. but at what goddamn cost#why did i say from europe in that earlier tag. i meant TO europe...im from the us#anyways. what a shit show situation that was. i have never felt so betrayed by anyone except for my dad himself#oh i didnt even mention the worst part yet. when i texted from london asking if our friendship was over too (god. so cringe) he then went#into this spiel about how actually what he said earlier when he was asking me to come back#(that it had been a stupid impulse & biggest mistake of his life) was a lie & it had been a long time coming#IF IT WAS A LONG TIME COMING WHY THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME FLY ACROSS THR ATLANTIC FUCKING OCEAN 3 DAYS AGO FOR YOU#and said hed tell me the reasons but ''didnt want to hurt me''#i have so much hatred in my heart for this man to this day when i really think about the mind games he was playing. unreal.#and he KNEW i already had massive trust issues
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i hate my uni sm lol i dont want to be heeeeere let me out let me out
#motherfucking dance classes. we have the exam in two weeks and the choreography's not ready.#we gotta meet up in our own free time without the professor and practise on our own and try out if something works or doesnt. on. our. own.#bitch like what are you getting paid for lol#i hate it here so much i didnt come here to dance#and i leave every rehearsal on the verge of a panic attack and with red welts down my arms from scratching myself to calm tf down lol#(ask me again why i became obsessed with the white haired beautiful princess with a disorder in record time lol I GET HIM)#its fucking mental torture to me lol#anyway now im getting passive aggressive comments in the groupchat because they suddenly decided that we need to meet#for another rehearsal. today in two hours. like bitch????? sorry that i have earlier plans??????#i gently suggested that we should try to set the rehearsal plans earlier#and i even put a sad emoji at the end to show that im not trying to be a bitch lol#and now a girl im like actually friends with goes all 'thank you for your input jagoda im waiting for you to suggest something better' like#girl?????????? lol#but like it's whatever. apologised immediately ofc like why bother#anyway BASTA
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do u guys remember the first time u got high
#i just wanna share this story cos i find it fucking hilarious#so basically my ex was a massive stoner#but i hadn't smoked before#so in our like. talking stage ig#like before we were dating but we were seeing each other type thing#we go to this party and we rock up a bit earlier than everyone else#so he's like o ok why dont we smoke some weed#and i was like aight fuck it#keeping in mind i hadnt smoked weed but i had tripped acid??#so i was like weed is gonna be v tame compared to acid#It Was Not#i smoked way too much for my first time#we made a shitty gato bong and for some reason he didnt stop me#and i had 4 cones. literally the first time getting stoned and i had 4 full fkn cones.#cos at the time i didnt know that was a lot#but whatver so i get insanely fucking high#like giggling at fucking everything#and its all fine but all of a sudden i start getting v overwhelmed#idk why but everything was Too Much#so i text him VERBATIM 'hi. i think im having a panic attack lol'#so he ends up taking me to a park nearby the party#and i just start freaking tf out#eventually tho i calm down enough to a point where he feels comfortable leaving me alone for a bit#so he says 'alright katie i gotta go piss. you sit here on this bench and ill be back in 2 secs'#so he leaves and my dumbass brain goes 'what if i made him up. what if hes not real'#'what if i just created him in my head' and i believed it so harcore#like in that moment u could not tell me that man was real#so what do i do#i go to verify this delusion#so i walk to the stall he's in and i open the door fully expecting to see an empty stall
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this confuses me so much
#phineas and ferb#carl the intern#carl karl#peter the panda#doctor doofenshmirtz#doofenshmirtz#heinz doofenshmirtz#major monogram#francis monogram#lyla lolliberry#pnf#why and how did he get taller like that#ive seen people say that they just zoomed in closer#but i just lined up the two pictures together and they were pretty much the same size#and in an earlier scene carl was still drawn way too short#maybe the people behind this didnt realize he was too small up until the last second#whatever i thought it was pretty funny lol
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my whole family got Opinions about my aunts parenting choices. the bitchers (speaking very quietly w the door closed in the room my parents are staying in)
#shes way too soft on her kids....#like she doesnt follow through with her 'threats'#(if you dont [x] ill take your ipad away for the rest of the week->still has ipad the next day)#and she doesnt like. listen to the kid(s) and try to make them understand what exactly is wrong#-and why#and i understand that it works much better when i tell them to do shit. bc im not a parent but they still respect me bc im the eldest cousin#but i think there was a step earlier in the kids lives that she didnt set down clear enough rules or whatever#so the kids are testing her limits more and more. and she is too lenient on those limits so they keep going#idk. personality wise i was never a rowdy kid in the first place and theres cultural differences so i get why theres this gap in opinion#but her leniency plays a big part i think#shes nice ofc but way too nice lol#we wouldnt be bitching abt it so much if said kid wasnt like. throwing stuffed animals around and bumping around and slamming doors n shit#anyways. rare occasion that this system is getting along 100% with their parents#- emil#- blue
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She was so brave at the vet today so now she is hiding behind the toilet. As she deserves ❤
#speculation nation#june bug#cats#she is very mad at me lol. but she let me pet her a little bit.#for now im leaving her in her familiar place. she'll relax in time.#im gonna try phasing her out of containment in the next few days#past few days ive done heavily supervised times where i let her out and have her poke around#and last night she hung out with me for a good 20 mins b4 getting up#she's making progress with tally. though tally did growl at her yesterday earlier in the day lol#aka why i didnt want june bug wandering w/o my supervision#i think theyre approaching okay. im going to slowly relax my forceful supervision bit by bit#still not gonna have june bug out when im not around until im Sure she and tally can coexist without fighting#but we'll get there. in time#an aside. tally started getting super excited at the window. & i looked. there was a squirrel with a whole moldy hot dog bun#What A Find! and thankfully tally didnt knock over any plants again leaping at it lmfao#anyways. life with cats continues ❤ i love them so very much
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much to think about.
#i had lunch w my sister today and she was talking abt our dad and abt how him being like emotionally abusive made her a huge people pleaser#and she was like yeah i think you didnt get that as much#you were always the one who stuck to your guns or just didnt talk to him#and at first i was like what bc i literally dont think anything i ever did could be rlly described as actually sticking to ones guns i alwa#felt like i was so avoidant of any conflict w him bc yk i was like. terrified of him. but i was thinking abt it and compared to her i think#like yeah actually shes right? bc i would avoid conflict w him but i did that by like fully cutting off our relationship as much as#possible and she did it by trying to please him all the time. which probably neither were that healthy obviously they were jsut like. our#instincts for how to protect ourselves yk. but the thing is for the past few months i thought i had been learning how to not be so scared#of making ppl mad and to be more assertive and stuff. but i think actually i probably have always had that strength maybe it was just.#kinda beaten down for a while since standing up for myself always made things worse. so the other option to not allow him to treat me like#that was to cut myself off from him. But i still did that yk? idk.#like i was thinking more abt it and#i was the one who left the church at 18. after i moved out but i did. and i didnt hide it after that. my sister has apparently been mentall#out for years now and nobody in our family knows but me. bc she is so scared to disappoint him. and like idk. i always was like why couldnt#i get out earlier bc i know so many ppl who just said fuck you im not going anymore at like 14 or smth and i was like why couldnt i do that#but i guess looking at it from my sisters pov our situation was just really fucking hard. and i guess im realizing i was honestly a lot#stronger and braver than i thought i was that whole time. idk.#lol its like bittersweet. bc it makes it so much more real that it was actually super fucked up. the way we grew up. like i think sometimes#the easiest thing is for me to go haha yeah my dad was kind of a dick and whooaaahhh so crazy i grew up mormon hahah! but its like no that#was fucked up. but look at how i made it through that yk. its kind of making me. idk. develop some more respect for myself i guess#idk idk#ignore me i am just journal posting . lol#exmo tag
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jdfuafhuagkldflgajkd
#what if i also am a mess this week 🤩#theres this banner marketing thing we ordered on monday that needed 5 business days and we needed by this monday#production started on it monday and they sent me a link to track progress and shit but the link didnt work#and i tried emailing them abt it and i had to email other ppl but i waited like a few days before doing that and ended up not getting iit#to work or anything and now we need the thing sent to somewhere by tomorrow afternoon#today afternoon lol and like they had the 5 business days they said they took for it so it Should be fine#but i literaly have no idea#bc the fucking progress link wouldnt work#and everyone i emailed to help w it werent responding over the weekend#so like im sending another email tomorrow morning at 8 lol to be like did yall send it pls bc i cant see TT#i feel like it's my fault if it doesnt happen and we wasted many money bc i've been handling the logistics and stuff for this thing#i know it's not rly but also i . couldve done some things earlier#anyway idk im not rly dwelling on that i just feel like#if i go on campus tomorrow and the banner is up im gonna start crying LMFAO#bc this is highkey stressing me out and i like to cry when im stressed 🥳#if it doesnt happen i will also start crying lmfao#i also always be overthinking things and just why cant i . not have such a negative perception of everything i SAY/do woohoo#afterparty for our show but im just crying bc release of this stress while everyone else is drinking#bro im not even nearly the most significant / high pressure board position and im likeeeejgndfndkfdkgdh lol#tbf tho marketing do be . the most during this week ig ;-;#also i need to go to sleep but i dont want to :D am excited for the show this week but i think i am#procrastinating actually having the week start bc it is kinda stresssssfulllllllll lolllllll#manifesting this fucking banner is up tomorrow#i will see it either in the morning idk if they put them up that early or#i guess when i leave the building in the afternoon but also i wont be facing the sign at all#or in the evening ;-; my only two chances to see#altho my friend might text me if she sees it when she goes like later morning i think#anyway *screaming* ran out of tags bye lol#jeanne talks
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i gotta rant about how much i hate the mega z-ring sidequest from a game design standpoint hold on
#bwark#first of all why the fuck would you lock something so important behind a sidequest#secondly why are all of the npcs in this sidequest such neglectful pieces of shit. i don't wanna return their missing pokemon to them#and finally (and this is the real stinger) why would you put something so important behind a sidequest THAT YOU CAN LOCK YOURSELF OUT OF#context for those who don't know earlier in the game you can buy a bunch of stolen pokemon from the game's black market#and this sidequest involves returning them to their original trainers#the problem is that if anything happens to those pokemon then you're completely fucked out of getting the mega/z-ring#the game checks for the pokemon's ot so if you released these specific pokemon or traded them then you're fucked#i think it also checks for if the pokemon evolved? not sure on that one but i wouldn't put it past rebron to be that stupid#also the amount of time between buying these pokemon and this sidequest is huge#so if you didn't know about the sidequest ahead of time the chances of you getting locked out of it by some mistake go up#if it didn't infuriate me so much it would almost be interesting how someone could fuck up game design so badly#anyway. im mad because while i didnt get locked out of this quest i got locked out of different quest because i sold one of the required#items that you only get once. so im hacking it in when i unlock sandbox mode lol#reborn lb
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Okay i made a cascading series of stupid decisions to avoid hurting his feelings but i think i just found a different route to hurting his feelings and this route involves much more stress and frustration for me
#even tho we agreed to be in a break before we left#he told me all he wantwd for his bday was to have a dinner w my family because he loves them#so he came over for dinner and stayed the night and just was ao fucking clingy and tried to fuck me and just was basically#doing everything i told him i didnt wanna do while we were on a break#and he would keep trying to make out or ask me if i wanna fool around and id be like no lol#and then 35 minutes later the same thing. and then he acts all sad and dejected like he doesnt understand when i say no and get mad#i tried to take him home earlier but he INSISTED on staying another night#and now i just had to pour salt in the wounds again because he came to me snd started a fight about why im not seeing this break as a#mutual improvement effort. i was like okay name one thing im not doing that you need from me#and the only thing he could think of was sex 😳#had to explain for the trillionth time that i dont want to have sex because i wont be attracted to him until he does all the things i told#him IF the at all#and god like. its my bedtime and i just had to rehash every fight weve ever had#and all of this because i felt too awkward to just break up for good in LA and i created this weird break dynamic because#i wanted to see our mutual friends while im home#i want to lie under a rock and die
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update: I have cleaned up the mess Drunk Cooking Steph left, started the first load in the dishwasher, and emptied out the kitchen (at least, the counters). forgot to eat anything before starting this, so I've allowed myself to order McDonalds for lunch.
haven't even started the actual cleaning yet lmao, I think the order is gonna be:
put oven cleaner in the oven since it has to sit for a while (the can says 15 mins but that is a lie unless your oven is already super clean and mine is...not)
take things out of the cupboards, wipe them down, sort things and get rid of anything expired or that isn't being used, replace everything that's staying
repeat with drawers
repeat with fridge
scrub hood vent, stove, and wall beside the stove that gets greasy and brings me much rage
wipe down tile backsplash + fronts of cabinets
wipe down counters + try and get the stains off of them
put things back on the counters, clean anything that needs to be cleaned (ie the coffee maker and microwave)
potentially scrub greasy spice jars/canisters that live near the stove (but also by this point maybe don't bc tired)
bake bread bc I didn't buy it bc I said I was gonna bake it and I haven't yet and I need it probably make a mess in the shiny clean kitchen
???? profit (cook french onion soup and take a nap and have a semi-delirious call w my aunt bc tired)
#I should've started this way earlier#but i didnt go to sleep until after 4:30am (i remember checking my phone then)#this is why i don't drink much: literally cannot sleep after#anyway: time to stop procrastinating and get at it#....or maybe i should wait until my lunch gets here and then get at it#side note i know i kinda did this in like September but i didn't do a good enough job lol#have to do a like. youtube cleaning channel level of cleaning in here#especially since my kitchen has terrible ventilation and everything near the stove is eventually just coated in a thin layer of grease
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everyone who pulls the “i dont get this ship theyve never even interacted/theyve barely ever interacted/they looked at each other one time” is clearly not a tumblr elder
#also it's a dumb argument like ya? so?#do you read fanfiction? why? it's not even canon#have you ever read an au?? why? magic doesnt even exist in their universe#etc etc#tiring#abc#saw some stuff on my dash + thinking abt that discussion i had with a billy anti#and how they dont get it bc they never had a positive interaction#or whatever#and???????#if youve read a hs au/college au/coffee shop au like. theyve never interacted in that setting so??? why??#ive seen fanfiction described as a sandbox/playground#can you only build sandcastles with sand and a pail?? do you not decorate it?? do you not maybe put some grass or twigs on it??/#oh i just remembered that the convo with that anti was that they didnt get it bc everything ppl like about billy is 'fanon'#several years ago i watched a show where a bunch of fans started pulling for a pairing the writers sort of put to rest a few seasons earlier#and then the actors saw it and were like omg yes YES!!! and then in the season finale they showed up holding hands#fanon isnt nothing lol#i doubt destiel would even be 'canon' had the writers not been (rightfully) given endless shit about it#fanon is just as valid and tbh you should grow up and stop being so worried about what other ppl are doing
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I’m gonna have like. A day off lol my bad
#no I actually don’t mind I rather enjoy what I do#i have 2 days off from work but one of them I offered to help someone move#shoutout to her she’s like one of my favorite people I work with and one of my favorite people just in general#I’m like I will gladly help you move whatever you need I’m there she must’ve asked me like 1000x times if I was sure about wanting to help#like girl not only r u always nice to me no matter what but you also mimick the things I do in a kind way like I’ll do anything for u#i actually didnt realize I had quite a few traits until she started mirroring them and I’m like oh I do that! i do that? i do that!#apparently I tilt my head a little whenever I smile. and of course the way I wave and say hi. and several of my speech patterns#it’s very little things that mean the world to me#catch me cross country on the weekends when I’m bored just to pop in and say hi to these people#i don’t even necessarily love my job or anything. it’s fine. sometimes it’s stressful. sometimes it’s boring#but I do love the people I work with. there’s like 3 I can’t stand. but there’s a few that make me ok with working so many hours per week#oh but it’s so funny the way I get when people make it clear that I matter to them#the woman I’m helping move had said earlier she was exhausted doing it by herself#and then for a half hour I’m thinking to myself. i can help. i want to help. anxiety of my parents. i want to help. i want to go offer help#and I finally was like. um. if you want help I’m not that strong but I’d really love to help. yeah I am serious. here’s my days off#like tell me why I was so absurdly shy. like aw she made it apparent she enjoys my presence at work! forgot how to exist#the way I don’t understand human interaction. at all. it’s terrible#it will not get better with time lol#oh man I work tomorrow#i gotta go to sleep rn#soup talks#but first. gotta catch up on my daily gatchas
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Sent my boss an email....tummy hurt now
#i dont normally get this anxious about sending him emails but theres so much on my docket and im worried hes gonna call me and be like#okay where's everything else and wheres this and have you done this#and i have not done those things bc i havejt been working more than 8hrs each day the past week#bc i dont fucking want to#which should he a normal and valid thing but its not lol#posts#ugh#i also tried calling him earlier and he didnt answer so he likely will call me today (hopefully bc theres things that are due ASAP)#and i need his input#it's not entirely my fault tho like i didnt necessarily drop the ball on these and that's why we're racing against time#but it doesnt really matter since its still stuff on my docket#anyways#i wanna work at a bookstore instead
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