#kinda beaten down for a while since standing up for myself always made things worse. so the other option to not allow him to treat me like

[zemnarihah]

much to think about.

[addictofsupernatural]

Firsts with : Katsuki Bakugo

First Time Talking

You shot your head up when you heard your name being called. Aizawa was pairing up people for a training exercise. "...and Bakugo."

You quietly walked next to him and remained silent as Aizawa called the next pairs. You didn't even say hi to him. Bakugo figured you just lacked manners, and really so did he at times, so he didn't think too much about it.

In all honestly you were socially awkward. Really socially awkward. You overthought everything, and assumed the worse about what people think of you. You didn't know whether you should say hi or not. You hadn't gotten him angry before like Midoyiya somehow, but you've never talked to him before either. What if you say that wrong thing and he just doesn't like you from now on? That would be awkward. If he speaks, you'll just answer him. All you have to do is be normal. Be normal–

"Hey—"

"Hi!" You yelled. You turned and winced at his confused and taken aback state. You cleared your throat. "Sorry, go ahead."

"We're starting."

You breathed a small sigh and smiled. "Oh, okay."

You didn't have to think about whether you were saying the right thing, not when you were fighting. It's okay to stand out when you're being a hero.

"Oi, Jitters, why are you smiling like that?"

You were Jitters. Considering others were Dunce Face and Shitty Hair, Jitters wasn't too back. "No reason. Don't mind me. I'm weird."

He made a noise in response, and you two stepped in the training area and started.

First Conversation

You were all working out to build endurance this class, and for some reason Bakugo kept looking back to you. You shouldn't be working out like that, you should be focusing on your arms. He didn't know why it was bugging him, but it was.

He stomped over to you, causing you to sit up. "Hi Baku—"

"Stop it."

"What?" Your voice shrank.

"I said stop it Jitters! You're doing exercise that's useless when you should be focusing on your arms! It's your weakest part and you keep neglecting them like a dumbass!"

"Oh." You deadpanned. "Um, thank you."

He scoffed and stomped back. You couldn't help but smile. He was being nice to you. Even if he was being rude about it, it was genuine. It was time to stop second-guessing yourself and make a friend, and you thought Bakugo would do very nicely.

You wrung your hands together as you smiled, sitting down next to Bakugo on the bench. "Hi Bakugo." He looked at you questioningly and nodded. "Uh, thank you for earlier!"

"You already thanked me." He glared at you in a confused manner.

"Yeah, well, I uh, I guess I thought I should start off with that before starting a conversation, which is kinda hard for me to do." You nervously chuckled and your cheeks became hot.

"Well then, spit it out." He grumbled.

"Can we be friends?" You did your best to keep up your smile.

He straighted up a bit. "What?"

"I wanna be friends with you."

He glared right into your eyes. "The hell kind of a joke is this?"

You pouted. "It's not a joke."

He scoffed. "Why me?"

You looked down in response, nervously laughing. "Well, it's not a secret that I'm really awkward. Everyone knows it, and I don't really have any friends because of it. I keep thinking that people are talking to me out of pity. But you wouldn't pity me. You don't hold back on anybody for anything, and I like that."

He just stared at you, and you began shaking your leg out of nervousness. Maybe this wasn't a good idea. Maybe he didn't want to be friends. Negative thoughts swirled in your head and you wrung your hands even harder.

"Fuck Jitters, do you always get this damn nervous when you talk to people?" You looked at him and nodded. He sighed frustratingly. "You won't enjoy being around me. I'm not soft and shit."

"Sure I will!" You quickly said. Your face felt heated from your outburst. You took a breath. "Y'know, in the future when you become the number one hero, I'll get to brag about being friends with you to my employees at my own agency."

You giggled as he stared at you. Nobody's ever told him he's going to be the number one hero, not with that certainty. Only he would tell people that himself. He looked away; your smile made the compliment too much. He didn't know how to handle it.

He looked straight ahead. "Your own agency?"

"Yeah, that's the plan. Maybe if it doesn't work out you can take pity on me and let me have my own little section in your building."

He gave you a tch and smirked. "Who knows if there'll be any room left for you. I'm a huge damn hero."

You laughed. "Well, what's our building gonna look like?"

"Our?" He gave you a shit eating grin.

You gasped with a grin. "Yes our! We're friends now so we gotta share. You get to make all the big decisions though since you're the big star. So, are we thinking ultra modern style with lots of windows, or more urban?"

"First of all, if it's gonna be my damn building, there's gonna be..."

First Hand Holding

"I don't give a fuck Jitters, you're not leaving me to deal with Shitty Hair and Dunce Face by myself!"

"But what if Kaminari doesn't like me?"

You wrung your hands together. Bakugo told you to come study with them, but you were nervous. You had already met and warmed up to Kirishima, but you didn't know if Kaminari would be okay with you.

"Just work on Shitty Hair then! You won't even have to talk to the other one." He glared at your pout.

"But what if he thinks I don't like him because I didn't talk to him?"

"Then say hi or something." You let out a small sigh and tightened the grip on your hands. Bakugo scoffed and yanked your hands apart. "Stop it, you're making your hands red."

"I'm nervous!"

He then glanced at your hands again, which were now in his own. "Do you hurt yourself when you do this?"

"It stings a little, but that's it." You quietly said. "I don't know what else to do. I get squirmy when I overthink, this kinda helps."

"Don't. You don't have to overthink when I'm going to be there with you." You have him a questioning look. "You said I was your friend right?! I mean that you shouldn't be nervous when you have a friend!"

Bakugo didn't have friends that needed his help. None of them were really emotional, just kind of dumb and didn't think at all sometimes. You thought about too much all the time. What did you want him to do?

He was kind of new and having any friends, so how was he supposed to help them?

You smiled and nodded. "Yeah, you're right. Thank you Baku, you're a really awesome friend."

He dropped your hands and scoffed. It felt pretty good to be complimented like that. "Course I am, I'm the best at everything."

First Time Protecting

You were at the pool with everyone on a day off. Bakugo had yelled at you for not wanting to go, saying that he didn't want to be stuck with everyone in the heat while you were relaxing in the dorms.

So there you were, talking to Bakugo in the pool while he was grumpily sitting with his feet in the water. Kirishima had to keep Kaminari occupied while this happened; Bakugo was already on edge because of the heat, and Kaminari flirting with you might set him off.

What nobody knew was that Mineta was underwater, looking at all the girls to see who to pounce on. He settled onto you, and swam very sneakily to you, undoing your strings for both your top and bottom.

He swam back up across the pool from you and called out, "Y/l/n-chan!" Everyone turned to look at you two. "Can you get out of the pool for a second?"

As you confusingly got up your top fell off, causing you to shoot back down and everybody look at you in silence. Bakugo sprung into action, muttering curses as he got a towel and came back. He saw that everyone was still staring.

"Look away!" He barked. Everyone turned around as he tightly wrapped the towel around you as he nodded for you to get out. "Mineta, you damn grape bastard!"

"Just go bro, we've got him." Kirishima said. The Bakusquad gave him a thumbs up as Sero had Mineta tied up with tape.

Your face was heated the whole walk back together as you walked in silence, head down the whole time. Bakugo didn't know what to say. He saw everything, and you knew he saw everything. How do you even begin to apologize for that?

"Thank you." You squeaked. He looked at you and saw that your eyes were watery. You were at your door.

He gave you a tch. "Take a shower. By the time you get out I'll have beaten that damn extra up and have taken a shower myself, since you always take so damn long. Then we'll eat lunch, cause I'm starving."

You blinked before grinning and nodding, happily going into your room as you thought about the wonderful friend you had.

First Hug

Bakugo was tired. He had just fought Midoyiya, got punished for it, and even cried in front of All Might. He was exhausted.

He had to clean the dorms tomorrow, so he figured he should go to sleep quickly to have a fresh start. What he didn't expect was you sitting on the floor against his door, head in lap. "What the hell are you doing?"

You shot your head up, giving him a smile. "You're back!"

You held your hand out, and for some reason he grabbed it and hoisted you up without thinking. Once he did it he was wondering why he did it. "Answer my question."

"I saw you leaving with Midoyiya and I wanted to wait for you."

He glared away from you and shoved his hands into his pockets. "People need to stop making a big deal out of everything that happens to me."

His eyes were puffy, and you stared at them. "A lot's happened."

He gritted his teeth. "Yeah, so?"

"So, a lot's happened to you. If it were someone else, some events would be weighing down on their shoulders."

"I'm not like other people!" He barked. "I can handle anything!"

You took a step further. "I know you can. Just like I knew you would come back home, with or without help."

You wrapped your arms around him, the sugary scent of his quirk lingering on his clothes. You were so much warmer than him from him being outside. And there was your beautiful smelling hair, and how you fit perfectly against him somehow. It was all so inviting.

"I don't need to be comforted."

"You don't. The hug is for me."

He knew that was bullshit, but it felt good that you were doing the best you could in this situation. You stayed up for him, you said all the right things, you were so soft and warm. It was impossible not to hug back.

It was also impossible to not look at you in a new way, a way that made him imagine things about you. Imagine another way you could be a part of his life.

First Time Being Jealous

Of all the times someone would flirt with you, it had to be when Bakugo just started realizing his massive crush on you. And of course it had to be from the most annoying extra ever, Monoma.

He pulled you aside when lunch started, and Bakugo could see from the side that you were blushing. Why? What could he even be saying to make you that happy?

You walked over to the table with a big smile over your face. "You missed getting lunch." Bakugo grumbled.

"It's okay, I think it was worth it." You let out a giggle. Your adorable giggle, wasted on you thinking about that extra.

"Don't throw yourself at him, it's annoying to watch." The whole table became quiet as you dropped your smile.

Your voice became weak. "I wasn't—"

"Get over yourself! It's pathetic to watch you fall to your knees when anybody gives you any attention!" He snapped.

Your face changed, and he knew he screwed up. You got up and left without a word. Sero, Kaminari, and Mina all followed after you immediately.

"Bro," Kirishima said. "You went too far." Bakugo gave a tch and looked away. He got up and nodded for Bakugo to do the same. "Let's apologize."

"What?!"

"This isn't manly bro, and you need to do it before she won't forgive you." He angrily got up and shoved his hands in his pockets. They both get looked for you, but stopped when they saw you in the hall with the others. "What are you waiti—"

Bakugo punched his friend in the arm and gave him a Shh! to listen in. "He's just in a bad mood, he'll say whatever without thinking."

"He called me pathetic and slutty."

"He didn't use that word."

"But it's what he meant."

There was a pain in Bakugo's chest. He didn't mean it at all. He would never think that way about you, ever. He really went too far this time. "He says all kinds of things to all of us, it doesn't mean that he actually means what he says."

Deep in his mind he silently thanked Kaminari for that. "He's never lied to me before, not about serious things like that." And just like that his heart sank again.

"Maybe if you talked it over you can see that he didn't mean it." Mina offered.

Sero scoffed. "I would wait for an apology." Kaminari elbowed his side.

"But he won't," you said. "Not on his own. Kirishima would probably push him to do it, and that doesn't count. It just means that he did it cause he has to, not because he wants to."

The bell rang and everyone went back to class. You usually walked back to the dorms with Bakugo and the others, but you told the rest of the squad that you'd rather walk alone today. Everyone was quiet while walking with Bakugo. Sero was about to speak. "Y'know—"

"I know!" And that was the only thing said.

After the sun went down and you were relaxing in your room, you heard a knock at the door and saw a paper slide underneath. You got on your knees at picked it up, reading it.

Sorry. I didn't mean what I said about you. Monoma's an asshole. Don't date him.

You couldn't help the smile that crept up on you. You heard rustling outside, and then, "Bakubro, why are you on the floor?"

"Mind your damn business raccoon eyes!"

You blushed and stifled in a laugh. You opened the door and saw him sitting on the floor against the wall. You closed your door and sat down next to him.

"This means a lot." You motioned to the note.

"You shouldn't give him attention. He's just doing it to brag." He looked straight ahead.

You looked at him and smiled. "You should work on your wording when you're trying to say certain things. You were being nice, but in a really mean way." He was glad you understood his intention now. "And I'm sorry if I made a fool out of myself. I'm just not used to having someone treat me like that."

He scoffed and turned away from you. "Your friends are enough. You're important to them, and they all treat you good."

You smiled and hugged his arm, resting your head on his shoulder. "Yeah, they all do. And besides, you're the only dramatic person I can have in my life."

He awkwardly put his head over yours, and you tucked in your legs to snuggle in more.

First Sleep Over

You had been weird all day. Different, a little down. Bakugo didn't know what it was, but it made him frustrated not being able to know why you were being like this. What's worse is that he didn't know how to ask you about it.

Once the sun went down and you said that you were going to sleep early, Bakugo followed you and grabbed your shoulder. "Hey, you okay?"

You awkwardly kept nodding. "Um, yeah, yeah... No."

"Hah?"

"Um, it's my birthday." You scrunched up your nose as he furrowed his eyebrows. "I've never really had somebody to celebrate it with, so I don't tell people. I just feel weird about it now. I don't know if anybody would want to celebrate with me. It's not like it's an important thing to celebrate, and I feel like people will feel like they have to do something out of obligation."

He quickly hardened his face. "Stop degrading yourself." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Look, I know it's late but if you want something maybe we can go get it if we hurry."

You grinned and went right into a hug. You then rushed right back out of it with the same smile. "Sorry. And thank you! I um, I just don't really want to be alone, if that's okay."

"You need to be more specific idiot."

You nervously laughed. "Right, sorry. Is it okay if I um, sleep over? At your room, I mean. I really don't want to end the day alone. And your room is really cozy."

He stared at you for a few seconds before quietly saying, "Sure, whatever. If that's what you want."

You grinned and giggled out of joy. "Okay, wait outside I'm gonna get my pajamas on." You ran to your room and quickly put on cozy button up long sleeves and shorts.

He stared at them when you walked carefully together, not wanting to get caught and have people think the wrong idea. "What the hell are you wearing?"

"What? I like it. Once I become a hero I might become a trend setter."

He scoffed and smirked. "Not with those clothes." You chuckled and walked in comfortable silence. He wasn't only referring to the weird combination of clothing, but mainly the shorts. They were tiny. Were they supposed to be that short?

Luckily for the both of you Bakugo was already roaming the house in a tank top and sweats, so he didn't have to change. You watched him open the door and immediately put a pillow and blanket on the ground.

"Wait, I don't want you to sleep on the ground because of me." You gently grabbed his arm. "Let's just both sleep on the bed."

"What?!"

"It's fine. We've hugged before. It's like that, but long and unconscious."

He raised an eyebrow and stared at you. "Who looks at sleep like that?"

You grinned. "Smart people. That's why I know you won't mind."

There you go, subtly complimenting him again. It felt so warming to hear compliments from you. It was almost too much to handle. "Fine, I guess. What do you want to do?"

"Is it okay if we watched a movie? I know you go to bed around 8."

"I can sleep whenever I want y/n!" You couldn't help but smile. He called you by your name. You felt good, warm in your chest and cheeks.

"Okay then." You got comfy on his bed and patted the bed next to you for him to join you. He took out his laptop and you settled on a romance movie. He grumbled but didn't argue about it. You got comfy at his side and lazily slung your arm around his stomach.

"Hey."

Your eyes didn't leave the screen. "Hm?"

"Happy Birthday."

You didn't think as you scooted up and gave him a soft kiss on his cheek. You smiled and returned to your spot with a flushed face. "Thank you Katsuki."

Bakugo wanted so badly to talk about what just happened right now. For some closure. But it's your birthday. If you didn't feel the came way, it would ruin your birthday.

He just awkwardly put his hand on your arm to hug you. Soon he heard your even breaths and looked down to see you sleeping.

He positioned you so that you were laying down, then closed his laptop and put it on the floor to lay down himself. He put the blanket over the both of you and debated whether or not to put his arm over you. He decided against it and fell asleep facing you.

First Kiss

You were in your room all day. It was a Saturday, and yet you weren't anywhere to be seen. Bakugo had texted you, and you said that you were busy with homework. You never passed on an opportunity to do homework together.

You heard a booming knock on the door in the afternoon and jumped, already knowing who it was. You opened your door a crack wide and Bakugo pushed his way through. "Hey Bakugo."

He looked around and saw that you were doing all homework in advance that were due no time soon. You were avoiding everyone and trying to keep yourself occupied. "Why haven't you come out of this damn room?"

You mustered up a smile. "I'm busy."

"No you're not. Why are you avoiding everyone?"

"I'm not."

"You're a shitty liar!"

You pouted and sat on your bed. "I'll be better tomorrow. I just need some time to get thoughts out of my head."

"What thoughts?!"

"Thoughts about liking you!" You yelled back. His glared dropped. "I realized that I have a crush on you! I can't get you out my head and I just keep wanting to hug and kiss you and I know you wouldn't ever like me back which is fine cause you can't force somebody to feel some type of way but that doesn't mean that it doesn't suck! I know you're out of my league, and I know you don't feel the same way, and now that you know things are gonna be weird. I screwed up our friendship!"

You flopped down and pulled the blanket over your head to save yourself any more embarrassment. He stared at your hidden figure for a second before returning back to normal and yanking the blanket off of you.

"Hey!"

"Don't hide from me!" Your eyes looked too sad, it was almost unbearable. But Bakugo had to do this right. "Sit up."

You did as told. "Sorry."

"Don't apologize." He motioned for you to scoot over, and you did so as he sat on the bed. "Is that why you were avoiding me today?"

"Yeah, I figured if I don't see you for the weekend, then maybe my feelings would go away."

"Things don't work that way dumbass."

You shrugged. "It was worth a try."

You started wringing your hands together, and he grabbed your wrists, separating your hands apart. "What did I say about doing that?"

"I'm nervous."

"Don't be." You gave him a tiny smile, and he just wanted to smother you in a hug. He didn't, and just stared at you. Your face was getting redder from the attention, and you assumed that he was trying to think of how to let you down easy. "Did you even consider that I would feel the same way?"

You blanked. "What—"

He rushed forward and smashed his lips onto yours. Damn it. He knew it was too fast, too hard, too rushed. But he felt you smile and quickly reciprocate the kiss. He awkwardly had his hands on your waist while you gently put one hand on his cheek and the other on his shoulder. You were so passionate, so sweet.

You pulled back to get some breath and scooted closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck. You were grinning. "Was that your first kiss?"

He hugged your waist and grumbled, "What makes you say that?"

You giggled at his grumpy face. "Yeah, it was mine too."

He smirked and pulled you into a hug, bringing your chest against his. "How do you know it was me who did bad? Maybe you're the shitty kisser."

You let out a perfect laugh and rubbed his cheek with your thumb. "Okay, first, I never said anything bad about the kiss, and second, you're really gonna say that to me when you just jumped my face."

"Shut up!" You laughed again, bringing back your lips to his before moving and kissing his cheek, then jaw, putting your head on his shoulder afterwards. He squeezed your arm to have you look up. "Hey."

"Hm?"

"Your mine now."

You grinned and nodded. "Am I supposed to expect a date then?"

"I'm your boyfriend now aren't I?" He grumbled. You excitedly nodded and brought your lips back to his.

First Date

"Can't you tell me? Please?" You hugged him from the side and clung to his chest. You pulled him back to sit next to you on the couch in the lounge.

"What do you need to know for?" He crossed his arms but didn't move.

"So I know how to dress! What if I underdress for our date tomorrow?"

"What the hell does that even mean?"

"It means I'm gonna look out of place."

He scoffed. "You won't. Just wear whatever you like."

You sprung up and tugged on his arm. He let you hold his hand as you silently led him to your room. When you both went inside you closed the door and sat down on the bed with a smile. "You dress me."

"Hah?"

"I want to wear what you'll like. So you pick out my outfit tomorrow."

He stared at you for a second, but silently went to the closet and looked through your clothes. He saw that shirt you have that looks perfect on you. He then got your comfy jeans, the ones you always loved to wear. He laid them on your bed.

"There." You grinned and was about to thank him when he grabbed your jaw and passionately kissed you. By the time he pulled away you were out of breath. "Go to sleep. I don't want to go on a date with a zombie tomorrow."

"You too. I don't wanna go on a date with a grumpy boyfriend tomorrow." He smirked and tapped below your chin, leaving to go to sleep.

The next day you got ready and waited for Bakugo to knock. When he did his hands were stuffed into his pockets and he nodded for you to follow him. You noticed that he kept glancing to you, but you figured he was just nervous. Once you two were out of the campus, he nudged you. "You can link your arm with mine, or something."

"Hm?"

He looked the other way. "If you want. You like that crap in the movies you watch."

You giggled and linked your arm with his, hugging it. "Wow, you and romance tropes. My two favorite things."

He smirked. "Keh. In that order?"

You pecked his cheek and put your head on his arm. "I think you already know that answer."

You both walked in comfortable silence for a bit until Bakugo pulled his arm from you and covered your eyes. "We're almost there."

"Why do I have to keep my eyes closed?" You smiled and grabbed on to his arm.

"Just trust me." You hummed and let him lead you into an elevator, and heard him unlock and open a door soon after. He led you inside and closed the door, uncovering your eyes afterward. It was a hotel room, with his laptop on the bed and a blanket on the floor with take out and paper plates.

"You got me an indoor picnic?"

"Yeah. I wanted privacy, and I didn't want you to get the wrong idea. Taking you to a hotel and shit."

"This is amazing." You brought your lips to his, pulling back right when Bakugo placed his hand on your cheek. "But you could've just had this in your room if you wanted, I don't want you wasting money on me."

"That's not special enough, and I wanted real privacy. I didn't waste any money. Now kiss me." He demanded, pulling your face back against his.

You pulled back once again. "But you didn't spend too much, did you? I don't want you to feel like you have to keep spending to make me happy."

"Damnit y/n, I'm doing this cause I want to, now give me a damn kiss!" You frowned and whispered out a sorry, reaching up for Bakugo to turn to the side. "Wait, shit."

You gave him a worried face. "What's wrong?" Were you being annoying? You hoped you didn't screw this date up.

"I shouldn't have raised my voice." He quietly said. "I didn't want to make you upset." He stared away from you as he muttered out, "Sorry."

You wrapped your arms around his neck with a soft smile. "It's okay. Thank you for saying that."

"Let's eat." He still wasn't looking at you.

You put your hand on his cheek for him to look at you. "Only until I kiss you."

You gave him a short but emotional kiss. It made Bakugo want to melt. You were so sweet sometimes, so patient. You led him to your little picnic and started to eat and talk together. Once you both finished you sat on the bed together and watched a movie, which you insisted be his choice.

He wrapped his arms around you without thought and brought you into his side. You were happy, but nervous. So nervous. This was perfect; you didn't want to mess this up. You already got on his nerves as it is, and if it happened again then it would definitely be your fault.

You didn't know if you would seem clingy with your hands around him, so you kept them awkwardly in your lap. Your feet were tucked in to the side and you wanted to move them but didn't want to seem squirmy.

Bakugo noticed you were stiff and twitched your arms. Your legs were awkwardly placed. Were you uncomfortable sitting like this? Bakugo reminded himself that this was his girlfriend and he could hold her if he wanted. She wasn't going to deny his affections.

He plucked up his courage and grabbed from behind your legs and snaked an arm around your waist, effortlessly picking you up and putting you in between his legs. He put his hands in your lap and hoped for the best. You relaxed against his chest and mindlessly played with his hands, tracing his fingers and slipping your own in between his.

After that you helped him pick everything up and waited patiently for him with the long checkout line. He was getting frustrated that you had to wait for so long, but you did your best to preoccupy him by asking him about the movie.

You walked back to the dorms together and when you got to your room, he turned you to face him and planted a really soft kiss on your cheek. When he pulled back he saw you grinning widely with blush heavily on your face.

He held your chin softly and breathed out a laugh and smile. "You're hopeless for me."

You held onto his wrist. "I'm hopeless for you."

He let go and you turned to open the door. Before you went inside he grabbed your wrist. "Hey," you turned around. "I'm hopeless for you too."

You let out a happy sigh. "You're amazing Katsuki. Good night."

"Night."

You closed your door, and he walked back to his room grinning. That was until he found the guys in his room, waiting to ask questions. The girls were also hidden in your room, shushing you only to squeal when Bakugo was far enough not to hear.

[stardustryewriting]

Forgiveness isn’t easy

Summary: Midoriya accidentally reveals, that he was told to kill himself once. Bakugou seems to feel more guilty than originally expected, so they decide to talk it out.

Or: The author was pissed Bakugou's suicide taunt was never talked about in Canon, so she wrote a fix-it-fic. Sort of. 

Also on AO3: here

Also, also I kinda messed with the timeline. But since this is about the interpersonal relationship between Izuku and Bakugou, it’s not too bad.

Lunch breaks weren't the most exciting part of a hero's day. Fighting villains was of course, taking the number one spot, in that perspective. Going on patrol, rescue missions and even filing reports were also decidedly more important events in a hero's work life. Lunch breaks were at the very bottom of the list. (Not that there was an actual official list. Just the one in Izuku's notebook.) 

Still, Izuku couldn't really complain about being allowed to share his lunch with the other interns from other companies, most of which were his classmates (among them the three upper-class men known as the big three). Sitting in a big circle hearing them share stories of all kinds of life events while enjoying some semi-good food was a highlight of the day. A much needed highlight after the bummer that was finding out they weren't allowed to sit in the meeting. 'Don't worry about it, just a regular checkup on what everyone last heard from the league of villains', he heard FatGum assure Kirishima and Tamaki. Which was more than they had gotten from Endeavour. He just warned them not to stick their noses into other peoples business. 

And while Izuku was disappointed at first, listening to Uraraka enthusiastically telling a story from her middle school time more than made up for that. He loved seeing her happy. Also seeing how relaxed everyone was, big smiles, talking about insignificant stories was so peaceful. A much needed calm contrasting their usual hectic life. Just sitting back, listening to Kirishima chime in, telling them about similar stories he had, while watching Todoroki who listened very attentively, soaking up information he was never able to get because of his upbringing, calmed Izuku in a way he never quite thought possible. Just existing, listening, laughing, vibing. He was truly happy. Of course it wouldn't last long. 

"What about you Deku? Any great stories from middle school?", Uraraka asked innocently, big eyes full of excitement, as if she was expecting some wondrous adventures. Kirishima also smiled brightly, leaning a bit towards him, eyes shining. Todoroki shifted so he was facing Izuku more and Tsuyu next to him quirked an eyebrow questioningly. Only Bakugou stiffened, barely visible and shot him a look like a warning. Don't you dare, Deku. That's none of their business. Izuku was sure, had Bakugou actually said what he thought out loud, he would have used more swear words, but he got the gist even without them. 

"Not really. To be honest, I was a bit of an outsider in middle school. So I did nothing great or fun at all", he stuttered, gesturing wildly with his hands in the process and trying to get them to leave it alone. He could feel the heat in his cheeks, it got worse with every word he said. He was sure they were beet red right now. That wouldn't help his case at all. 

"Nah. I don't believe that", Kirishima interjected, conforming Izuku's fears. Kirishima let himself fall back on his butt supported his upper body on his arms, palms flat on the roof and smiled mischievously at Izuku, "I bet you got up to some great adventures and you just don't want to share. Were they embarrassing?" He winked at that and then laughed at his own joke for a second. 

Izuku could feel himself trembling. He could feel the slight shake in his legs, not bad enough to be obvious yet, but it would be soon, could feel his heart rate spike and the sweat flowing more. Even worse, he could see Bakugou grinding on his teeth, his stare getting worse by the second and he knew it would become a metaphorical death stare soon. A few months back, before he even started UA, he would have been afraid of it becoming a literal death stare. Old Izuku would have run at the thought of that. And while he wasn't that Izuku anymore - wasn't the crybaby Deku anymore, but instead was the Deku that never gave up - he still wasn't too keen on provoking Bakugou. He could face him, could go toe to toe, but he would rather not. Not unless there was any real need to. And there wasn't any right now. 

"It's alright, you know. We won't laugh. None of us were their best possible version in middle school", Uraraka coaxed him gently, mistaking his silence for embarrassment instead of the mortification it really was. Izuku didn't know how to answer that. He couldn't lie to them. They were his friends, they were always honest with him and they deserved at least as much in return. But he also couldn't tell them the truth - that Bakugou and his friends had bullied him relentlessly from the age of four until the end of middle school - so he decided on the middle way. A half truth wouldn't hurt anybody. (In retrospect, this was probably his biggest mistake, ever.) 

"No really. I was bullied quite badly by some kids. I don't like to think about it", he said, trying his best to keep up his smile, so Uraraka wouldn't feel bad for asking the question. She did regardless, of course, because this was Uraraka and she was as loving as they come. But Izuku tried to reassure that no, he wasn't mad she asked and no, she didn't bring up all the bad memories again and no, he didn't consider her a bad friend because even though he hinted at it occasionally - when there was no way around it in a conversation - he never stated it outright so she couldn't have known. Yes, Uraraka was still his friend, he wouldn't end their friendship over something insignificant like that, was said more than once too. She really took this to heart. 

"What exactly do you mean when you say 'bullied'?", Todoroki asked, after Uraraka had somewhat calmed down and while Kirishima and Tsuyu both went to shut him down ("You can't just ask something like that, dude" and "That's really impolite, kero") Izuku was just glad at least something was normal. Todoroki being out of the loop on everyday teenager stuff, as sad as the reason behind it was, was their measurement for a normal day. And this might still stand a chance at being another normal day. 

"Ah, you know, the usual. Having things stolen, being mocked and called names, being told to go kill myself, being shoved around and beaten. Normal bullying stuff." 

"Being told to go kill yourself?", Uraraka, Kirishima and Tsuyu exclaimed simultaneously and very loudly. Loud enough to have everyone look at them. There went the chance of this being another normal day, Izuku thought sadly, while trying to think of a way to diffuse the situation. He had done it again. He let something slip that should have never been known by another soul and the fallout was enormous. He could see Mirio walking over to them and he really didn't know how to explain the situation to his upper class man. He didn't even know what to say to his friends, who were still staring at him, silently demanding answers but also with much more pity in their eyes than Izuku could stand. He was sure Uraraka was about to cry and he felt the pressure behind his own eyes announcing the arrival of his own traitorous tears. But he wouldn't. He wasn't the Crybaby Deku anymore, after all. 

"What are you guys on about? You're louder than normal", Mirio inquired gently, after he arrived in their little circle. He came to stand behind Uraraka and let his eyes wander shortly over every member of the group, before they landed on Izuku. Mirio mustered him a bit more thoroughly as if he was checking in on him wordlessly. Izuku nodded and tried to show a reassuring smile. He knew he failed even without having to look at Mirio,could feel himself shaking so much that it just had to be obvious by now. Not that suppressing that reaction would have helped him. Not now, when he was already so deep in this situation. So instead he did his best to swallow around the lump that was ever growing in his throat and took as deep a breath as he dared without it being too obvious. He tried to answer Mirio and hated how much his voice was shaking, despite his best efforts to calm down. The tears weren't far away anymore, and he hated that too. He wasn't the Crybaby Deku anymore. 

He refused to be the Crybaby Deku any longer. 

"It's fine, we just shared some old school stories and I have some not some not so pleasant memories. We try to be more quiet, promise." 

"Bullshit", Kirishima exclaimed loudly and it took an awful amount of self-control for Izuku not to flinch. He couldn't, he told himself, not anymore. "A stolen pen or some taunting words that's a not so pleasant memory. Being told to kill yourself is just all messed up, dude. That's wrong on so many levels." 

"Yeah. That's not something you just gloss over so easily", Uraraka agreed immediately in a voice that left no room for argument. Not that Izuku would have known how to argue with that. They all took it much too seriously. It wasn't like Izuku had even considered it. At least not for long. 

"It was just once guys", he tried again to calm them down once more, "I don't think he even thought about it too much." And really Izuku can't help his eyes looking at Bakugou for even just a second. Bakugou, who was uncharacteristically quiet ever since that discussion started. 

"If I may", Todoroki interjected carefully and Izuku couldn't decide if he was happy about this or not, "what exactly did they say?" So definitely not happy about this. If anything that was even more cause for concern. How should he answer this? Honesty was off the table. Being honest would mean admitting to being quirkless. He couldn't possibly do that. 

"I, ah-. I mean… You see. I mean they said… Uhm-"

"Jump off the roof and hope you'll be born with a better quirk in your next life." 

All of their heads snapped towards Bakugou so fast that Izuku worried for their necks. He himself couldn't face his oldest classmate even though he knew he should. He wasn't a coward anymore, he should be able to face Bakugou. But he couldn't. Instead he kept his head down and played with his fingers hoping that the attention was off of him for good. 

"Oh yeah", Kirishima said suddenly, brightly, as if he forgot the weight of their topic for a second, "You and Midorya were in the same middle school, right. You know the guy who said it?" And there it was again, the heaviness that had taken over their lunch break, seeping back into Kirishima's voice. 

"I did it", Bakugou said with a tight voice, as if bracing himself for the worst. That got Izuku to glance at him. He wished he didn't. Those tight, hunched shoulders, the careful looking eyes, the tension in his body - as if he was ready to run as soon as the need arises - looked so wrong on Bakugou. Out of the corner of his eyes he could see his friends surprised expressions, as if none of them could believe what they just heard. Of course they couldn't. They knew of Bakugou's explosive temper and the harsh way he worded everything. It was attributed to him being insensitive. Not to him being a bully. 

"What? That's a really bad joke", Kirishima said, tone more pleading than anything else. Please tell me you're joking hanging in the air between them, unspoken. The others seemed to hold their breath, the uneasy silence between them stretching until it became unbearable. Until it was hard to breathe. Izuku couldn't stand to look at it any longer, he wanted it to be over. He had to say something. Anything. He needed to end that situation. Bakugou was faster. 

"It's not a joke. I said that and then I went off laughing", Bakugou confirmed, sounding way too calm in Izuku's ears. Almost resigned. That couldn't stand. 

"Dude-", Kirishima mumbled weakly, leaving the word hanging in the air, as if he wanted to say something else. He wanted to, Izuku was sure. But much like everyone else, he had been shocked into silence. There were a million things to say, all of them tumbling over each other in Izuku's head. 

It was such a long time ago. 

It hurt then, but I'm over it. 

It was mostly a joke, I'm sure. 

I knew Kacchan long enough to know it wasn't meant like that. 

It's fine now, I promise. 

What he said instead was: "I only considered it for a week." It was decidedly the worst of all the things he could have said. It was enough for all of the heads to turn back towards him, still way too fast and he could see Uraraka considering what she wanted to say to him for that, could hear the gears turning in her head. Just as much as he could feel Kirishima getting defensive in his stead.Over him. He decided he needed to be faster than both of them. 

"I mean, it wasn't that bad honestly. I knew Kacchan long enough to know how he was. The bullying had been going on for long enough already that I didn't even take it that seriously. It wasn't even that bad", he could feel this spiralling more and more out of control with every word he said, so he decided to just be silent instead. He was obviously only doing more damage. 

“Please don’t make a big deal out of this”, he pleaded, finally, because it was obvious he wasn’t getting himself out of this situation anytime soon. 

“Make a big deal?”, came the incredulous reply - from Bakugou, which surprised everyone including Bakugou himself - while everyone turned their heads yet again, “I told you to kill yourself, hell, you just said you considered it and now you’re saying they’re making too big of a deal out of this? You really are just a shitty nerd.”

“Maybe”, Izuku answered quickly, because he felt more than he saw, that everyone was getting ready to defend him once again, “but the past is in the past. I’d like it if it remained there.”

Bakugou seemed to consider him for a while. Then his eyebrows drew together making the infamous angry crease on his forehead. Something which Izuku knew firsthand meant he was ready to blow up. He didn’t. Instead Bakugou looked around, shrugged his shoulders and quickly left the group with just a mumbled `Whatever`. 

No one tried to stop him. 

They all turned to Izuku, eyes full of worry, stumbling over themselves and each other, while similarly trying to assure he was fine, as well as trying to advise him to talk about his experience to someone. Izuku promised he was alright, that he would look for help, if he felt like he needed it and that there were no more suicidal thoughts in his head. The last one was a half-lie, that he mostly told them to reassure them. Thankfully, no one questioned that too deeply, only Mirio looked as if he didn’t believe a word Izuku said. 

Mentally he prepared himself for a long afternoon. 

____________________

He was both right and wrong. While the afternoon did drag on for what seemed like forever, thanks to a combination of boring patrouille with no incidents and a look into what a hero’s paperworks look like, he hasn’t felt any tension between himself and Bakugou, which was the main thing he feared. 

That was of course mostly, because Bakugou avoided him like the plague, when he could. He went on patrouille with one of Endeavor's sidekicks, instead of them, chose another sitting space for the paperwork than he and Todoroki did and even worked a bit overtime, to avoid having to go home with them. When he was forced to interact with them, because Endeavor explained or showed something and he required all three of them to be present, Bakugou treated him very normally. Which meant hostile and with demeaning nicknames, but no one could point out the difference. 

It made Izuku tense. He always expected a big explosion, figuratively or literally, to be around the corner. Like the smallest thing would set Bakugou off and then all of them would suffer the consequences. But it never came. Bakugou’s personality provided some smaller emotional explosions, which all of them were used to by now, but the big one was missing. 

Izuku didn’t know if he was supposed to be happy about that. He kind of wished it would just go off, that Bakugou would just throw it at him, so they could be done with that. Of course, he couldn’t say it to Bakugou like that, that would set off an entirely different, completely unwanted explosion, which would help no one in the end.

Izuku had considered if the potential consequences were worth another fight with Bakugou. Fighting was how Bakugou communicated the best with Izuku, it has been since they entered U.A. - probably even before that, if Izuku considered everything. So maybe another fight, to help Bakugou with sorting through and expressing his feelings, would be worth another house arrest. Then again, no one guaranteed him it was really just house arrest and not expulsion, he would be facing. 

So, no fight then.

Still, he needed to find a way to either talk to Bakugou (unlikely) or just make the other blow up in his face (more likely). He would’ve liked to ask for help, but the only one in Endeavor’s agency who knew what happened on that roof was Todoroki. And while Todoroki was a treasured friend that Izuku wouldn’t want to miss, interpersonal relationships weren’t really his strong suit. So asking Todoroki for help was out of the question.

He pulled his phone from under his pillow, to sort through his messages, trying to figure out if another one of his friends would be helpful. Iida had sent a message, stating that Uraraka had informed him of what happened on the roof and offering to listen, if Izuku wanted to talk to someone. Uraraka and Tsuyu had both sent messages, asking if he felt alright, and he sent them some short, reassuring answers, because he still felt bad about everything that happened. 

At the very top of his chats, however, were some messages from Kirishima, that Izuku was hesitant to read. Because while Kirishima was defending him in the moment it happened - and Izuku knew he was too nice to ever blame him for anything that happened on the roof - he was still Bakugou’s friend. His best friend even, probably. (If Bakugou had something like that, which Izuku wouldn’t know.)

What could Bakugou’s best friend have to say to someone, who complicated their entire situation?

Logically, Izuku knew Kirishima was probably just checking in on him too, maybe even trying to lighten the mood with some absurd fun facts, or bad jokes he’d gotten from Kaminari. He knew Kirishima wouldn’t even dream of blaming him. Still, he hesitated to open the messages. What if Kirishima said something about Bakugou? Would that be good or bad in his current situation? Then again, Kirishima might be the only one who could help him understand Bakugou in his current situation. 

Uraraka was too emotional, she would be mad at Bakugou and she would encourage him to some “righteous fury”. Tsuyu never really liked Bakugou, she always thought he was too loud and too rude, so she never really tried to get to know him, beyond the surface level they needed to work together. Even then, that barely worked. Iida had too strong of a personality, he clashed with Bakugou in the past because of it. So really Kirishima was his best bet. 

Taking a deep breath, Izuku opened the seven unread messages.

Hey Midoriya, read the first, I hope this thing on the roof didn’t get to you too badly. 

I tried to get Bakugou on the phone and over text, but he doesn’t respond to me. 

Or to anyone else really. Must be a sign he feels bad.

Maybe you could try talking to him?

Only if you’re up to it of course. If not, no worries. Knowing Bakugou, it’ll fade eventually, anyways.

Anyway. If you wanna talk about anything, know I’m here. I’m not too great with advice, but I’ll try. 

Really, you shouldn’t be facing this alone. 

Izuku read through all of them, more than once while trying to process everything Kirishima had said. Bakugou wasn’t only avoiding him, he was avoiding all of them. Did he feel bad, like Kirishima said? Izuku knew that his middle school time was a mostly unpleasant memory for him, being bullied and deliberately excluded, not having a single friend. Most of his teachers were annoyed with him, because he constantly came to try and talk about the bullying, so he eventually stopped talking to them outside of class matters. Which meant most of his interaction with other people were classes, being made fun of and his mum. 

It was a lonely time.

Bakugou, on the other hand, had been the king of the school ground. He was academically smart, like Izuku, but unlike him he never bothered the teachers, so he was pretty well liked with the staff. Their peers always thought his quirk was super cool, so they willingly followed Bakugou everywhere he went and easily joined in teasing Izuku. No one batted an eye when teasing turned into bullying and Izuku didn’t even recognise it himself, until long after middle school was over. Even now, he didn’t like calling it bullying. 

Was Bakugou really feeling bad about that time? Did he hate his middle-school-self, as much as Izuku hated his?

Maybe, he should take the help Kirishima had offered, between the lines.

Hey Kirishima, he began texting, I promise I’m fine. I’m a lot tougher than I look, after all. But about talking to Kacchan. I think that’s a great idea. How do you think I should approach that?

____________________

An hour, and several text messages later, Izuku found himself standing in front of Bakugou’s room in Endeavor’s agency. It was the one at the very end of the hall, right across from Todoroki’s room and next to Izuku’s own. He never knew Endeavor had bedrooms in his agency, but now that information was permanently engraved in his mind. (And in his hero notebook). It wasn’t particularly helpful in his current situation, tho. 

Izuku took a deep breath, reminding himself of Kirishima’s encouraging words and knocked on the door. He heard shuffling from behind it and a string of curse words way more colorful than Bakugou’s usual. Just then, Izuku remembered that Bakugou always went to sleep early and was probably already in bed, when Izuku decided to come over. His timing couldn’t have been worse. Maybe he should just go and pretend he was never there.

 Just as that thought entered his head, the door creaked open. Bakugou was wide-eyed when he recognised Izuku for only a second, before his trademark annoyed expression took over his face. So much for just vanishing before Bakugou could see him. Not that he would’ve actually done it. 

“What?”, Bakugou grumbled annoyed, but thankfully not looking like he had already been asleep. Actually he wasn’t looking at Izuku at all, which was out of character enough that Izuku was actually worried. 

“I wanted to talk about...”, the roof? Not really. It had started it all, but it wasn’t anything controversial. The roof-situation was pretty straight forward, even if all his friends acted like it was the big thing of the day. “...middle school.”, he finished lamely, because he figured that would be a way better starting point. At least there was some actual conflict there.

“Yeah, because it started in middle school”, Bakugou murmured sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Nonetheless, he turned and walked back into his room, leaving the door open. Izuku figured this was as much of an invitation as he would get. Not trying to look for a fight, he just scrambled quickly and wordlessly into Bakugou’s room.  

Looking around, he realised that while Bakugou might have not been asleep, he must have been trying. The covers were thrown back and messed up and the pillow looked like it had been laid on. So he did disturb Bakugou. He couldn’t help feeling guilty.

“You wanted something”, Bakugou reminded him, not as unfriendly as usual, but also not nicely. It was accompanied by a glare that told Izuku he wanted to get this over with as soon as possible. Too bad, Izuku would take as long as he gets. 

“Yeah”, he drawled, trying to figure out how to phrase this best, “what do you mean, when you said it didn’t start in middle school?”

“I never said that”, Bakugou was quick to correct, sitting himself on the ground in front of his bed and crossing his arms in front of his chest. He leaned back against the bed, glare permanently on Izuku, as if he was trying to figure something out. 

“You implied it”, Izuku answered easily, trying to muster a reassuring smile, but thinking better of it. Bakugou would probably take it as Izuku thinking of him as weak and that would start another fight. Izuku was trying to end a fight, not looking for a new one. 

“So what”, Bakugou said defensively, looking away from Izuku for real now, and instead staring at the floor. 

“When did it start for you?”, Izuku inquired, trying to find a balance between being careful, to not sound accusing and not being too careful, so Bakugou wouldn’t take it as Izuku making fun of him. Talking to Bakugou has always been a balance act for Izuku.

Bakugou mumbled something that Izuku didn’t understand, then drew his legs to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and putting his face on his knees. He looked strangely vulnerable like that, so very not-Bakugou, that Izuku was convinced he hallucinated for a second. He pinched his leg to make sure he wasn’t. That was new. 

He moved to sit beside Bakugou, before he could think of whether that was a good idea or not. With his back against the bed and his legs outstretched on the floor, Izuku looked over carefully, to determine if Bakugou was okay with that. The other looked at him funny for a moment, but didn’t say anything against it, so Izuku figured it was okay. There was still an arm length of space between them anyways. 

Regardless, Izuku felt like this was the closest he got to Bakugou in years. 

“Can you repeat that?”, he asked carefully keeping the careful tone out of his voice to not patronise Bakugou. He knew that would only make things worse.

“I said it stated, when I refused to take your hand”, Bakugou repeated, sounding annoyed, but some other way than normally. Izuku, for his part, was mostly confused.

“What?”, he said like an idiot. 

“When we were, I don’t know, maybe six”, Bakugou explained and now he sounded like he normally sounded, when he was annoyed at Izuku, “I fell in that river and you offered me your hand to help me out. I thought ‘Why is that quirkless idiot looking down on me’. I was such a stupid child.”

“I wasn’t looking down on you”, Izuku provided, because it was the only clear thing on his mind. Bakugou still thought about that? That was so long ago, even Izuku barely remembered that day.

“No shit”, Bakugou barked out, laughing humorlessly at the entire thing, “It spiralled from there. I antagonized everything you did as you looking down on me and I began hating you from there.”

“And then it reached its peak in middle school?”, Izuku asked, unsure if he read where Bakugou was going with this right. 

“And then it reached its peak in middle school”, Bakugou conformed tonelessly, like he had no more power for any emotions other than resignation. 

“Wow”, Izuku breathed, looking away from Bakugou and staring at the wall instead. That was a load of information and he had no idea how to process any of that. Bakugou thinking he looked down on him, when it was really the opposite? And then, he had been antagonising Izuku for that long? He got that Deku was meant to be an insult, but he always thought it stemmed from ‘Kacchan’ being taken as too cute by Bakugou, not from actual hatred. That was a lot to stomach. 

“What did you mean when you said you considered it?”, Bakugou surprised him by asking, Izuku expected to be thrown out, actually. 

He didn’t actually know how to answer this. He would love to lie to Bakugou, saying that he just mulled it over in his head, but that felt wrong. Bakugou had been honest with him, so he deserved honesty in response.

“Did you know that one of the staircases was always unlocked because of potential fires? I figured out a way from there to the roof. I actually made it on top of the railing one afternoon. I was just standing there, looking over the courtyard and thinking ‘Maybe I will have a quirk, next time’. I almost took the step, and then I remembered Mom would be all alone, inconsolable and I backed out. I thought of myself as a coward then, but now I’m glad.”

He didn’t dare look at Bakugou, even when he heard the other’s breathing hitch. Knowing he was so close to ending it all, actually scared him still to that day. 

“Shit”, Bakugou breathed, sounding like he had trouble swallowing and Izuku laughed humorlessly.

“Yeah shit”, he agreed, lifting his eyes to look at Bakugou and finding the other boy already staring at him. He had tears in his wide-blown eyes, looking like he was on the verge of a panic attack and Izuku was trying hard to remember the breathing exercises they learned in the theoretical rescue class. Luckily he didn’t need those. 

Bakugou caught himself, looking away from Izuku and slouching against the bed again.

“You almost killed yourself. And it was my fault”, he said, still sounding breathless, but appearing a lot more calm overall. That was, until Izuku saw the single tear sliding down Bakugou’s cheek. 

“No, it wasn’t”, he hurried to say, hoping to provide some solace to Bakugou, “Being quirkless is a lot worse than just some bullying. Not having the prospect of being a hero took almost as big a toll on me. And there were plenty other things.”

“Bullshit”, Bakugou yelled and Izuku cringed, glad that Todoroki was a heavy sleeper. Bakugou would’ve woken him up, “I put the idea in your head. I started the whole mess. Hell, I’m responsible for ‘Deku’.”

“Deku is my hero name, you know?”, Izuku reminded him, trying to diffuse some of their newly acquired tension.

“Yeah, whatever the hell that’s about”, Bakugou shrugged, not paying him much mind. Like he was trapped in his own thoughts and if his facial expressions were anything to go by, those weren’t pleasant. 

“It’s symbolic”, Izuku provided, hoping to ease some of the burden, “It’s supposed to symbolise that I’m not the old crybaby Deku anymore. I’m Deku, the hero. I’m there to help people and I’ll never give up, no matter the obstacles. It means that I’ve learned from my past, but it doesn’t define me.”

“That’s sappy”, Bakugou said, trying to suppress a sniffle. 

“Yeah, maybe”, Izuku agreed easily, fondly remembering the day Uraraka gave a new meaning to the name, “but it’s also true. I’m able to work with you, because I’m not overly attached to the past anymore.”

“S’that also why you’re able to forgive me so easily?”, Bakugou asked sarcastically. 

“Yep”, Izuku said grinning, popping the ‘p’ to emphasize. He apparently had caught Bakugou off guard with that answer, if the wide eyes and the silence were any indication. They looked at each other silently for a while. Izuku gave Bakugou space to figure out what he wanted to say, while Bakugou just seemed overwhelmed with the situation as a whole. 

“You shouldn’t”, he concluded eventually, looking away from Izuku once again, “I was shitty and you should hate me.”

“I told you before didn’t I?”, Izuku was intensely looking at Bakugou, as if he could will the other to return his gaze, “The past is in the past and I’d like it to stay there.”

Bakugou scoffed at that, looking at Izuku challenging, and Izuku already tried to find where he went wrong. He knew this could only end in a fight, it always did with Bakugou. This whole talk had been way too peaceful and Izuku made the mistake of indulging in it, instead of being careful. 

Bakugou surprised him, when instead of challenging him to a fight, he just said: “Okay. I think I can do that.”

Deku blinked once. Twice. Trying to figure out if this was some sort of joke at his expense, again. 

“Just”, Bakugou began, interrupting himself to take a deep breath. He let go of his legs, to stretch them in front of him like Izuku did and then turned to face him better. He scooted a bit closer, leaving only half an arm length between them, so Izuku could now reach out to him, if he wanted. He wanted to, but he didn’t want to ruin their new-found peace, so he held himself back. 

“I’m sorry, for everything”, Bakugou pressed, after taking a deep breath, stubbornly staring into Izuku’s eyes. It wasn’t the best apology Izuku’s ever gotten, but considering who was in front of him, it was a big step in the right direction. So he smiled at Bakugou, as a sign he accepted the apology. 

He had a feeling Bakugou would have a much harder time forgiving himself than Izuku did. 

[olivarryprompts]

Fanfic Friday #8

Welcome to Fanfic Friday! Each Friday I will post a new fanfic here and on A03. Enjoy x

Read and save it on A03 here https://archiveofourown.org/works/32602807

{ur still my boy}

Ship: toliver (tommy/oliver)

Warnings: swearing, canon typical violence, oliver’s ‘death’ to Ra’s

Wc: 2,564

One:

“Oliver! Ollie oh my god you- What happened?” “Nothing, just a- a mugger.” “A mugger! Did you really ditch Mr. Diggle again? This is why you have security. I though five year on some island what make you a little less of a dumb fuck!” “Alright, what? That’s a little intense.” “A little intense? Are you kidding me right now?” “No, what. Why are you here anyway?” “The club, we need to talk about it. But, not that’s not the point.” “Why not? Seems like an important conversation. “ “Oliver stop!” “Stop what?” “Pretending.” “Pretending? About what?” “God Oliver,” he said, falling onto Ollie’s desk chair. Oliver was perched on the edge of his bed. “I’m fine, it’s fine. I don’t understand why you're fussing over this.” “BECAUSE YOU DIED OLLIE!” “I-” A silence fell upon them. “You died, and I had to deal with that, and it’s something I never want to have to deal with again.” “Tommy, I know but it’s the world. The real world. And it’s not always going to be safe.” “I know that, I know, but ditching your security, Ollie. Why? I just don’t understand it.” “I-i can’t explain. You just need to trust me. I can take care of myself.” “Last time I let you care for yourself, you died! You get that right. You get that I never want to let you out of my sight ever again because I’m scared.” “I survived on an island for five years, I can handle Starling City. Trust me.” “That doesn’t mean that if a bullet flies through your heart you won’t die!” “Tom-” “No. “Don’t, don’t do that.” “I love you, everyday on the island I wanted to come back. To come back and say the thing I just said.” “What do-” “I love you, stupid. For real.” “You mean-” And they had a long overdue kiss. And some more.

“You really know how to divert a conversation,” Tommy said, into Oliver’s bare chest. “It’s one of my strong suits,” he smiled.

Two:

“Hi Ollie,” he said, from a chair in the Arrowcave. “Tommy! How did you get- how did you find!” “Your excuses were getting pretty lame, and you know we both own this club.” “Yeah but-” “You’re the arrow.” “I’m- yeah.” “God Oliver, you are so shit a lying.” “You’re not mad?” “Mad? Are you joking? I’m so- everything. How the hell could you keep this from me? ME?” “For your safety,” he replied calmly. “My safety, what if I know your secret, I’m in danger. That’s not how the real world works. I don’t understand you.” “I had to. My father,” Oliver stopped. “What did your father say?” “I have plans okay.” “Beyond just, just murdering people.” “Collateral damage, plus I only kill when necessary.” “It was you. That day we got kidnapped.” “Yes-” “Why? You should have told me.” “What, what so you can hate me from now on!” “I could never hate you, it’s you.” “But you hate the Vigilante.” “But I trust Oliver Queen, or I did before you kept the biggest secret possible.” “HOW DO YOU NOT SEE I WAS PROTECTING YOU!” “Because why would me, one person knowing, change anything!” “The people I am going after are dangerous and powerful, so if you are close to me you will be targeted. If you know, that will make you even closer.” “You understand that that makes no sense.” “Whatever, you know now.” “Why don’t you trust me?” “Tommy, that is just fake! You know that I trust you with everything in me. I trust you to see me!” “You lied about your scars.” “That was all true,” he said, putting his head in hands, “I only left out parts about me becoming the arrow. I- truly Tommy, I thought you were going to pieces together. From my story to the arrowhead rock to the timing of my return.” “You were telling me,” he said, with realization. “Yeah I tried.’ “You could have just told me.” “Should have, yeah.” “Oliver! I-” “Why are you still upset?” “Because because-” Tommy slammed the desk. “Tommy, if you’re still worried about me getting hurt, clearly I can handle myself.” “I know but- a knife will still kill. Playing fucking superhero will get you killed!” “No, it doesn’t have to.” “I can’t Oliver, I can’t. Why, please, I-” Tommy started crying. “I can’t quit this. It’s too important.” “No Oliver, your life is too important. It’s too important to me because I’m sure, I’m certain you're my last, and I’m not losing you.” Oliver brought him into his arms, and kissed his head. “I swear to you, I’m not going anywhere.” “I can’t, I don’t want you to go out every night and risk death.” “Rules, we’ll make rules, whatever you want. To keep me safe and you happy.” Tommy just held him tighter.

Three:

“When’s the last time you slept?” Tommy said, approaching their breakfast counter. He placed a kiss on Oliver’s cheek. Oliver was staring at his computer, working on mayoral plans. “A while back.” Tommy rolled his eyes knowingly. Yet another late night Arrow mission that ended with an all nighter. “Oliver.” “Tommy.” “You need sleep to function as a human being.” “No not really,” Oliver smiled, switching his attention to the other man, “Green arrow.” “Ollie please, I hate you being tired because then you do stupid shit as the mayor and even dummer shit with a bow an arrow.” “Since when do I do dumb shit?” “We are talking about the same Oliver Queen right? The one who pissed on the police officer?” “Oh please come on, not the childhood.” “You were eighteen, Ollie,” Tommy smiled fondly. “If we’re sharing embarrassing stories-” “Shut up,” he said, digging his head into Ollie’s shoulder. He wrapped an arm around Tommy and then went back to looking at his computer screen. “Hey, you avoided the point.” “Yes, yes I did.” “You don’t need to be in to work till 10 today. We have a great opportunity to get two hours of sleep here, babe, and it’s quite enticing.” “You have a company to run.” “I also have an Oliver Queen to tend after.” Oliver scoffed, “I don’t need tending after.’ “Clearly,” he replied sarcastically, “Please for me. I know you're tired. Rule #3” “Really now? You’re playing the rules card. I’m not even tired, T.” “Come on, I’ve known your tired face since we were five.” “Fine. Rules are rules.” “Really?” “Yes only if I’m little spoon.” “Done deal!” Tommy grabbed Oliver’s hand, and dragged him into their bedroom.

Four:

“The plan is to break into the Argus facility whilst the state of emergency has been turned on due to the prisoners being released. Of course, they will stay contained in their cell block just not the individual cell. From there we can get Bloodine out of there, and force him to give up all the information he’s been given on the new Argus protection.” Tommy had entered the arrow cave moments before, unnoticed by Oliver. “Hey,” he said, joining them in the center of the room. “Hi,” Ollie whispered to him, giving him a kiss. “Hi Tommy, what brings you down to our humble abode?” Felicity questioned. “Just needed to drag Oliver home, remember we have the Merlyn Global Charity Gala tonight,” he only half made up. “That’s on Thursday,” Oliver remembered. “If you know when it is, why are you always so goddamn late for everything!” Tommy jokes, kinda. Felicity and Diggle sensed the tension, “We have to- uh, go over there,” Diggle awkwardly covered. “They did the thing, so started talking,” Oliver told Tommy. “Fine, fine. I’m vetoing this mission for you.” “This is a standard mission,” Oliver said with a sigh, “It’s not unsafe.” “Yes dealing with a mass murder who has slipped through your fingers a number of times is not dangerous at all. And, who has beaten you in a fight previously.” “Won’t happen again.” “How are you so sure about that?” “I am. I get it, you're scared, but this one is important. It’s the difference between the city blowing up and it now blowing up. We’re talking millions of lives here.” “I know, I-” “I’ll be careful.” “Rule #1.” The sacred rule one, which Tommy, in four years of dating, has only used a single other time. “Tommy you can’t. Not this one.” “The rules are the rules.” “Not this time, no. I- it’s too important.” “Oliver, do you not remember that your missing being so important was the whole basis of creation of the rules!” “Tommy, I can’t deal with this right now.” “Can’t deal with-” Tommy turned his back on Oliver, “Yeah, you know what. Go and get your stupid ass killed. And do not think about stepping foot in our apartment if you take on the mission!” Oliver was at a loss for words as his better half stopped off.

Later that evening Tommy made an important call. “Hi Barry, I need you to do me a favor.” “Anything, you know I owe you one.” “Thanks. There’s this mission that Ollie’s idiotically going on. It’s bloodline-” “The one he lost a while back.” “Yeah.” “Give me the details. I’ll watch out for all of them.” “Ok, so-” Tommy described the mission and sent him the plan he’d downloaded on his phone with some Merlyn Global tech he indefinitely borrowed.

As soon as he got word that they’d returned, he made his way to the Arrowcave. “Thank you Barry,” he said, giving the other a hug. “Anytime, good thing I was there too. Bloodline nearly bombed the place secretly, and would have killed anyone in the building. The guy’s smart,” he said, only slightly gravely. Oliver was standing there looking guilty. As soon as Tommy heard that, he launched himself into Ollie’s arms. “God you idiot, you almost died. Stupid. God, I love you, please listen to me next time.” “I’m sorry, I’m-” “It’s okay. I got you. You might be the green arrow and all, but you're still my boy first.” Oliver just smiled.

Five:

Tommy curled into Oliver’s side, and said,” You are not going back to that island, not without me.” “I don’t want to take you there.” “Why?” “It’s horrible and the worst memories of my life exist there-” “You trust me?” “Yes.” “Then listen when I say, I know you. I know many of those memories, and if there are worse terrors it will not change how I see you. It will not change how much I love you.” “It will though. Some of the things I had to do and some of the things that were done to me, they are truly awful.” “I can swear to you it will not. And we can talk. I can tell you how I’m feeling and what I’m thinking. It’s this great thing called communication.” “Shut up.” “Ok. Fine, only if you take me on the island.” “Tell me why you want to come so bad.” “You're so oblivious sometimes, it's adorable.” “Nothing about me says adorable Thomas.” “Thomas huh? Everything about you is adorable. Have you seen your face when you're happy, it’s the cutest thing in the world.” “Whatever you say. You’re such a sap.” “I am. And the reason I want to go is because of what you said. The worst memories of your life exist there.” “Yes and?” “It will be, if not close to, physiological torture returning there. If you haven’t noticed, I’m a tad protective of you.” Ollie rolled his eyes, “Of course I’ve noticed. I also know that I’m fairly mentally strong at this point.” “That doesn’t mean you don’t need a reminder that you no longer exist in those memories. A reminder that you live here. That you have a team that loves you and a boyfriend who loves you even more. And we live together in a wonderful apartment, and have some, might I say, wonderful sex and-” Oliver laughed, “I get your point, thanks, love.” “So?” “Yeah.” “Yeah I can come or yeah we have great sex.” With a smile on his face he said, “Yes you can come. Might need a refresher on the second part, though.” “Do you, now? I think that can be arranged.” They both started laughing, and then kissing. “Thanks,” Oliver whispered moments later. “Anytime, you’re my boy after all.”

+1:

He let him go. Well, no, he didn’t. He didn’t know, no one told him. Oliver didn’t tell him. What kind of stupid motherfucker goes and fights Ra’s al Ghul and doesn’t tell his fiance.”

He crashed into his father’s home, “MALCOM!” Malcolm seemed to be praying in his sparring room. “Hello son, it seems as though you’ve started using my name once more. What have I done this time?” “YOU LET OLIVER GO AND FIGHT RA’S AL GHUL.” “One does not ‘let’ Oliver Queen do anything. You of all people should know that.” “Stop with the cryptics, this is my fucking fiance we’re talking about.” “It was his choice.” “It was- I? Please just, is he alive?” “Likely no. These battles are to the death and Ra’s al Ghul-” “I’m not asking for your opinion, I’m asking for proof. His body, a sword, blood.” “I know a place that could tell you that information, I shall go. I mean no harm to you, son.” “No harm, no harm,” Tommy chuckled. “Come, I’m having tea, then I shall leave.” “Tea? Tea? Do you not remember when mum died? No course not, you are an apathetic killer. My fiance is, is missing and you want me to have tea with you. God, you really are a joke.” “I am doing you a favor here, Tommy.” “THIS IS YOUR FAULT.” “Do you really believe that? Or are you blaming me because you blame yourself. I-” Tommy was walking about before Malcom could end his sentence.

When Malcom returned with the sword, Tommy fell to his knees, tears filling his eyes. “It’s not Oliver blood, we don’t know yet-” Felicity attempted, already swabbing the sword. “And how do we know this is not fake?” Diggle questioned. “Because it is the family we are talking about. I do not take matters concerning family lightly.” “Thank you Malcom, you may leave now,” Tommy whispered, barely audible to the room. Malcolm dramatically exited, and Tommy was left waiting. “Felicity,” he managed weakly. There was a beep, a moment of absolute silence, and then a broken voice, “it’s his.”

How do you cancel a wedding venue, how do you sleep in a bed alone, how do you cook an omelette. These were all questions that he never needed to answer. But he did. It all changed.

He constantly blamed himself for not knowing and not stopping his boy. Each night he laid awake drifting between awake and lightly asleep. He wanted his Oliver. He wanted his boy to hold him tight and never let go. “Hey,” a voice said, a voice that sounded eerily familiar. “Shut up, shut up,” Tommy said, crying. He couldn’t hear that voice in his head. “Hey, it’s me, it’s me Tommy I promise.” “Oliver?” Then he was crying all over again, but this time he was crying into Oliver. “Don’t d-d-do that again.” Oliver was crying too, “I swear, I swear I won’t. I’m not going anywhere.”

[thenonbinarydetective]

Catch of the Day-HB Fanfic

A request from one of my new favorite anons. I love all of them, but this request was so crazy I had to do it as soon as possible.

Warning: Angst and bad comedy. Also bad comedic angst. Character death

Additional warning: I can’t take things seriously and I haven’t written in awhile so it may be a bit rusty.

Word count: 1,647

Summary: The boys are chased by a harpooner who does not want to be caught.

Note to the anon: I don’t know what happened in the specific harpooning scene you referred to for inspiration. I didn’t want to spoil myself cause I hadn’t gotten around to playing it yet so, I worked with what I could.

Enjoy or don’t it’s kinda sad!

THWACK!

Frank’s breath hitched as a harpoon burst through the wall of the wooden shed. He looked to his brother next to him over the glistening metal that narrowly missed his head. Joe wore a waning smile. Frank knew what was coming.

“We knew something fishy was going down, I just didn’t think it’d be us.” He laughed weakly. He pealed himself off the wall and shuffled to the other side. Missing the annoyed look that the older Hardy shot at him.

The two brothers had arrived at the tiny fishing village earlier that week after a string of thefts had caught their attention. They discovered it was Gary Keates, an old sailor who currently was attempting to add a murder charge to burglary.

“Why do they always have to try to kill us?” Frank asked brother. He shrugged, then tested the back window. It opened, but neither of them would fit through it.

Keates yelled in the distance, Frank couldn’t understand what he said. It didn’t matter. They either had to break the window or try to duck out the harpooned door. His glance shifted from the window to the door, then from the door to window. He patted Joe’s shoulder, who took it as a sign to step back. Frank took up a rotted piece of floor and swung at the window.

The shattering glass was loud and obvious. Frank was going for quick, he didn’t care about the noise. He ushered his brother out the window and then followed. Joe lead the way in a stealthy, but speedy crouch back towards the main road. The police were to meet them there, along with their father. The village was so far out in the middle of nowhere. They promised to meet the boys in about an hour. Based on a radio message they received an hour and a half ago. With any luck, rescue would find the boys before Keates did.

Joe looked over his shoulder. Beyond his brother, he could still see Keates circling the shack. His harpoon gun bouncing off his leg. He had ammunition ready on his back. “I know the old dude is out of his shell, but I can’t believe he’s treating his harpoon gun like a bow and arrow.” Joe whispered.

“And I can’t believe you’re still making fish puns while were being hunted like animals.” Frank hissed back.

“You mean like whales? Or seals?”

Frank pointed ahead, silently commanding his brother to keep marching on. Also probably to shut up. They had a little way to go before they would reach the main road, and Keates was going to find them soon. Even with all the trees, the older Hardy boy felt too exposed. His only solace was that Joe remained in front of in and Gary Keates was behind him.

“You went to the woods, didn’t ya?” The Hardy Boys heard Gary rationalize as he left the area surrounding the rotten shack. A splintering CRACK rung out through the forest. At first the Hardy Boys feared they stepped on a twig, but it was their hunter retrieving his old harpoon. “I’ll find ya.”

They concealed themselves in some bushes, but they could still feel Keates’ searching gaze as he roved the forest. He was still far behind them. The hairs standing up on the back of Frank’s neck made it seem like he was right behind them.

He ushered Joe back in front of him again and motioned that they should go forward. He saw the worried look in his brother’s eyes, there was nothing he could do to comfort him besides giving him the same look. The situation already seemed bleak, but as long as he could keep Joe safe. Frank’s own safety didn’t matter.

Keep moving forward

Keep staying silent

Keep protecting your brother

In this moment, both brothers were repeating this in their minds. The slow pace was agonizing, and Gary’s shouting did not put them at ease. Slow and steady keeps you alive, right? That’s what their father taught them. In a way. He also taught them to not accuse someone who might kill them when they are alone in a small village where no one would find them. A very specific lesson, but one that would have been useful to remember about an hour ago.

They kept going on, keeping their breath as silent as possible. Trying to avoid every stick and crunchy leaf on the ground. It was Fall, which only made this more difficult. The two were making good progress until,

CRACK!

Frank stepped on a twig. It was a small twig, but the sound of it snapping traveled for miles. The brothers froze. This is not good.

“There ya are!”

This really is not good. Keates was already running in their direction. They didn’t have much time. “You keep going that way. “Frank pointed towards the main road. “I’ll split off and keep his focus on me.”

“But Frank?”

“I’ll meet you there. Now go!” He shoved Joe away from him, and the younger Hardy boy had no choice but to take off. He shot one last look to his brother. Frank didn’t look back. He faced the direction in which the harpooner was coming from. His whole body was trembling, he couldn’t disguise his fear with the brave face he put on.

When Keates came close enough, he slowed down. For the first time, he wasn’t yelling. He readied a shot. Unfortunately, too slow to take it. Frank spun around and sprinted off. His path was wild. He made it up as he went. He heard Keates running behind him.

“If I keep him distracted long enough,” Frank thought as he made a jagged turn, “Hopefully, Joe will send the police in time.” He tried to push morbidity out of his mind, it was hard. He’s completely lost in this dark forest. He couldn’t tell the difference between the sound of his own feet and Keates’s.

Frank had to take a chance to find out. He dove into a bush. It was quiet. Had he lost him? He waited for a few seconds and he could only hear his breathing. He waited before standing up. Looking around his surroundings, he realized he wasn’t too far from the main road. He continued on. There was an outpost nearby that would protect them better than some decaying shack ever would.

“Joe’s probably already there. The police better be there to kelp.” He whispered to himself. “Help. He’s not even here. How did he make me do that?” He laughed for his younger brother, who would’ve appreciated his pun. Frank slowed his pace down to a walk. Safety was in sight.

He caught sight of the shack, but that wasn’t the only thing he saw. Keates had beaten him there. Joe was backing away from him with his hands raised. Frank heard him plead, “No no no no please-AHCK!”

The first harpoon dug into his shoulder and pinned him to the wall.

Frank ran, but he was too slow and too far to stop Keates from loading another.

The second sliced through Joe’s leg. He cried out again.

Frank tripped over a root.

The third struck his hand. Joe didn’t make a sound at this point.

Frank jumped back to his feet and made another desperate attempt to stop the assault.

A fourth buried deep into his side.

Finally, Frank tackled Keates. He tried to pin him down, but the old man fought back viciously. So did Frank. They were rolling in the dirt, no matter how much Frank kicked and punched the old man was still fighting back. He couldn’t believe the energy his assailant possessed. Especially since he was running out of his own. Adrenaline surged through him, but it wasn’t enough. Keates stretched out to grab a harpoon.

The older Hardy took a risk. He shot up. As quick as he could he stepped on the harpooner’s hand, causing him to recoil. He then picked up a rock and bashed his opponent’s head without a second thought. He was out.

Joe’s head slumped, the rest of his body remained pinned to the outpost wall. His vision blurred, his breathing heavy, he was trying to fight it. He was trying to stay alive. He heard the sirens. The police wouldn’t make it. Their dad wasn’t there to save him. He was always supposed to keep them safe in this job. He failed. Joe knew he had to fight for himself now, but it was getting so hard.

Frank’s voice sounded miles away, even though he was inches from his face. Frank always had a solution. He could see the panic in his brother’s face. He was trying to find one. “You can’t fix it for me this time.” Joe mused. He tried to make light of this dark situation he got caught in. There was too much blood, too much pain, it was too hard to stay awake.

“Shut up.” Frank choked out. He couldn’t take out the harpoons, that would only make the bleeding worse. He couldn’t treat his wounds. He couldn’t leave him to get help. He couldn’t help him. He couldn’t protect his brother. “Stop talking.”

Joe weakly lifted his head and looked in his brother’s eyes. He hoped the look he was giving him was enough to tell him everything he needed to. This was the end. Joe wished he could tell his brother how much he loved him and how this wasn’t his fault. He wished he could ask him to say the same to their parents. He was out of time to say all those serious things now. Joe did the only thing he could, “Guess I’m the catch of the day… Sea you on the other side, Frank.”

“Those better not be your last words.” Frank scolded as tears fell.

But they were.

[saharamae21]

Never Ran Smooth (Part 6)

Hey guys! SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! I’m in the middle of moving at the moment and it’s been hard to find time! Also sorry to anyone who got a message from me, my account was hacked...

Anyways here is part six! | Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Seven |

__________________________________________________________

Take pains. Be perfect.

I walked with Kie to grab some sodas from the concessions stand. I could feel the childish grin plastered on my face as I skipped a little.

"Someone seems awfully chipper," an unnerving voice rang out. Rafe, Topper, and Kelsi stood proudly in front of us.

"Move," I said confidently, trying to get past them.

"That's no way to treat your escort," Rafe mocked, grabbing my arm in the process. I twisted uncomfortably, trying to free myself from his grasp. Then he looked at Kie. "Tell your boy that we know what he did."

"Sorry, what boy are you talking about?" she replied, clearly not interested in what he had to say.

"Uh, he'll know," Rafe said, finally releasing my arm.

"Bye," Kie said, giving him a glare. "Douche."

I laughed at her comment and rubbed my arm a bit. I've known Rafe my whole life thanks to my brother, but he's going off the rails as of recently. I barely recognized him anymore.

"Just saw Rafe, and he said, and I quote," Kie started, immediately catching Pope's attention. "Tell your boy that we know what he did."

I watched as JJ and Pope bickered back and forth a little bit before stealing glances at Rafe and his friends.

"If that doesn't work, I got this," JJ muttered a little too loud and patted his bag. I hit him quickly.

"You did not bring a gun here!" I whispered. "JJ, so help me God, what did you guys do?"

"It's fine. Don't worry about it," he said. Sometimes it's easier to just drop the subject, rather than to keep reaching for answers you weren't going to get.

About halfway through the movie I hear Pope and JJ bickering back and forth. I walked as both of them got up, saying they had to pee. I looked nervously at Kie, but she reassured me that they were going to be fine. Kie knew them both better than I did, so I just sat there quietly. After a few minutes, I noticed Kie looking around.

"Where are they? Do you see them?" she asked me. My breath hitched as I noticed Topper and his posse was gone. "Shit..."

We both got up and ran behind the screen. Kie was clutching JJ's bag. My heart felt as if it stopped when I saw what Rafe, Kelse, and Topper were going to Pope and JJ. I watched as Kie went running toward Topper, trying to get him off of Pope.

"Rafe stop it!" I yelled and ran, grabbing his arm before he could swing again. He flailed his arms wildly in an attempt to get me off of him. "Get off him!"

Then I felt his elbow collide with my cheekbone and I went down. I fell directly to my butt and began to cry. I've had the same reaction to getting hurt. My brother was often rough with me growing up and my only reaction was to bawl, no matter how childish it seemed. Seconds after I got hit the screen erupted in flames.

"Shit, Rafe. You hit her," Kelse said.

"C'mon, let's get out of here," Topper said and the three bolted.

I watched as Kie, JJ, and Pope kneeled down in front of me. I sniffled and held the side of my face. I kept trying to hold my tears back, but nothing would work.

"Let me see," JJ said, carefully moving my hand away from my face. "Shit, Sav. That's gonna turn black."

"I'm fine," I said with a sniffle. Kie helped me up and brushed me off a little bit. "We should leave before the cops come." "I'll walk you home," JJ said, giving me a small smile. I said my goodbyes to Kie and Pope before walking awkwardly with JJ. He walked quickly, avoiding eye contact with me the whole time. Why did he offer to walk me home if he wasn't going to say anything. "Hey..." "Yeah?" I asked. This is it Savannah. He's going to tell you how he feels!

"Kie told me you guys heard me when I said I wasn't into you," he said awkwardly. I watched him push his hair back and stop for a second. He blocked my path, determination filling his face. "I just don't want you getting the wrong idea. You and I aren't going to happen."

I stared up at him because that's all I could do at that moment. I felt my heart shattering into a million pieces. He averted his gaze from me and stood in front of me awkwardly.

"Listen, I'm sorry if I came across in a different way, but you and I will never work out. I just don't want to lead you on," he said while staring straight into my eyes. "I'm just a flirt by nature. And at one point I thought maybe I was into you, but that idea is long gone. Plus I think I kinda like someone else."

I just nodded and swallowed hard. "Yeah, okay. Friends?"

"Friends," he said.

We walked the rest of the way in silence.

***

A day has gone by since JJ walked me home. At first I thought I was going to die because that's what your first heartbreak does to you. However, when it came down to it, I felt a sense of relief. Maybe JJ wasn't meant to be my first love. He meant so much to me as a friend, that losing him completely was worse in the long run. I came to the conclusion that I wasn't going to be awkward or immature and let this one thing affect how I acted with him in person. I gathered up all my courage and headed out towards Heyward's.

"Hey Savannah," Pope's father greeted me as I walked up. I smiled and said hello back before making my way inside. I took a seat at the counter and watched the shop flood with workers. Pope noticed me and smiled.

"Hey Sav. Gnarly black eye," he said, tossing me a peach. "Fresh from Savannah."

"Thanks," I said. In the background of the commotion I could hear Heyward talking about Pope and how proud he is to be a finalist for a scholarship. "So what's it like being a genius?"

He stared at me for a second, debating how to answer the question. "Well, it has its perks. It makes my parents proud of me. It also gives me an opportunity to make something more of myself by going to college. I can't help, but to think it took something from me though. Like maybe I'd be better with girls if I could shut my brain off."

His glance went to Kiara. I smiled as if I had just learned a secret no one else knew. "How long have you liked her?"

"As long as I can remember," he said, defeatedly. I patted his shoulder and looked at Kiara too.

"She's great, isn't she?" I asked. I watched as JJ joked around with her. "She's cool and confident. Everything she does is right. She doesn't care what others think of her."

Just as I finished my thoughts I heard Heyward come in. "Hey, Pope, someone here to see you."

At that moment, the world had stopped. Deputy Shoupe walked in with a paper in his hand. Pope was shaking. "Evening officer."

"I have an arrest warrant for felony destruction of property," I watched as Kie and JJ ran over. Everything seemed to go in slow motion from that point on. We all followed him out and tried to understand the situation. Then, as Pope was about to get into the car, JJ burst out with emotion.

"It wasn't him," he yelled. "It was me. He tried to talk me out of it, but I was mad because he'd just been beaten up. I was so sick of those assholes from Figure Eight that I lost my shit. I can't let you take the blame for somethin' I did. You've got too much to lose."

I could tell by the look in Pope's eyes that he did it. I could see the regret and the guilt building up inside of him. I looked over at JJ and saw a sad glint in his eyes. He was smirking, feeling proud that he was protecting a friend. I was frozen in shock at everything going on. And just like that, he was gone.

I watched as Pope threw his hat and ran inside. Kie followed closely after, but I just stayed out there. It's hard when you feel two ways about something. I know JJ would be mad at me if I went after him. He would feel burdened if I used my family name as a way to get him out of this. He would push me away further because of the gap in status. That didn't stop the feeling of affection for him. I wanted to be someone he could trust, someone he could rely on. I wanted to be someone he could love. I finally walked inside and sat down besides Pope.

"How are ya holding up?" I asked him, placing a hand on his shoulder. He just shook his head, unable to look at me. "Don't blame yourself, Pope."

"Why did I let him take the fall for me?" he asked. The guilt that laced his voice broke my heart. I know he meant it in a rhetorical way, but I had to answer.

"Because he loves you," I said with a soft chuckle. My heart ached a little. I've never had someone care for me like that. "He loves you so much that he would give up everything he has so that you can have the world and more."

Pope smiled for a second and lifted his head. The tears in his eyes seemed less and less as the seconds passed. I looked down at my hands and twiddled my thumbs around as Pope said thanks to me. Hearing words of praise always made me uncomfortable.

"Hey Sav?" I heard Pope's voice ring out. "Why do you hang out with us?"

"Well," I thought for a second. "I've never had anyone care about me. My whole life has been a competition with my brother. Even now it feels like my brother and I are pawns on my parents chess board. They only care about the piece that will make them the most money later on in life. When I saw you guys hanging out, I always thought to myself: Wow, I want that. I want someone to care for me unconditionally."

I felt my shoulders sink a little and this time Pope put a hand on my shoulder.

"Should we go see how JJ is doing?" he asked. I nodded and off we went.

The jail wasn't a spot I was too familiar with. The light blue and white cars lined the street in front of the building. I felt an uneasy feeling as we made our way inside. I couldn't help wondering what the damage was and how this would all unfold. Kie strutted confidently up to the front desk and told the secretary that we were looking for JJ Maybank.

"He left a few minutes ago," she answered politely. "His dad picked him up.

I watched as Kie and Pope exchanged a look of horror before silently bickering about what to do. My eyes remained on the secretary though.

"Do you know what will happen to him?" I asked. The lady nodded.

"He has a court date set in a few weeks and he will have to pay back the damage that was done to the boat," she said. My heart dropped. Topper's boat was worth at least $30,000. He would never be able to pay that off. In the bottom of my heart, I knew he wouldn't want me to meddle. I knew he would never ask me to get involved. I wanted to though. Even though he didn't love me, even though we were barely friends, I needed to do something.

I paced around my bedroom, trying to find the right words. My blush pink gown swayed with every step. Then I heard the knock.

"Hey sweetheart, what did you need?" my dad asked with a worried look.

"I never ask you for anything," I started. My voice shook with every word. "I never do, so please this one time do what I ask. JJ, he g-"

"Savannah," my dad said sternly. "First, wasting your time with the pogues, getting a black eye, and now this? I already know what he did. I already know what kind of boy he is. I never said anything before because I didn't want to upset you, but this is too much!"

"He's not like that Dad!" I bursted out with emotion. "Just listen to me. This will ruin his life, I need to help him!"

"You have a black eye because of him," I could sense the tension.

"I have a black eye because of Rafe!" I yelled. "Rafe is the one who hit me. Rafe is this horrible, manipulative, prick that deserves everything he's going to get! Dad, JJ didn't sink that boat. He's covering for someone. Just help him, please. He doesn't have that money and it's going to ruin his life."

I felt a stinging on my cheek. I couldn't even process what had happened. My mother who had heard the commotion and rushed into my room to see what was happening gasped loudly. She rushed to me and put her hand on my cheek.

"Nicholas!" she screamed. I placed my hand to my cheek, the cheek my dad had just hit.

"Do you think 30,000 dollars is nothing, Savannah?" he had resentment in his voice. He turned and walked out of my room. As soon as he was gone, I sank to my knees. I sat there and for the first time in my life, there were no tears. I had gotten hurt, but no tears came out.

_________________________________________________________

Tag List: @jjmaybangme

[angstalottle]

I See You

Part 1:

The life of a superhero really isn't that glamorous. Everyone acts like being in a team means you always have each other back and are the best of friends. And while that is true to a point people love to forget just how annoying other people can be. Lance had been the newest recruit to the Paladins, he was technically only there for surveillance since he didn't really have a combat oriented power but after proving his skill as a sniper time and time again he was finally brought on as the team's eye in the sky. “Ok team the plan for the mission is simple.” Shiro began pointing to the screen with his cybernetic arm. Considering he was a cyborg it was kinda hilarious to have spent the last ten minutes watching him try and fail to get the computer working and eventually gave up to let Pidge take control, they all had the feeling that even if she wasn't a technopath she still would have been the best option for him. “Me and Keith will enter the compound at point B while Hunk covers point A in case anyone tries to escape. We need this to be a stealth mission so no busting down the walls ok buddy?” Hunk chuckled nervously “ill try, I'm sorry again for that truck I swore it was going to hit a kitten.” Shiro sighed “yeah I know, but maybe tossing it in the air wasn't the best option at the time.” he cleared his throat deciding to change the topic before they got too far off track “Lance you will be stationed on the clock tower covering me and Keith.” Lance gave him a lazy two finger salute “no problem boss, what would you guys do without your sniper.” “Exactly the same as normal without having to listen to you in our ear.” Keith huffed a small puff of fire came out his mouth. “Oh please, you would be dead a hundred times over without me hot head.” Keith raised an eyebrow “and whys your superpower again? Oh yeah, you got good eyesight right?” Lance couldn't help but touch his glasses. His powers let him see far away and even zoom in onto small details. The problem was that the further he looked the worse his close up vision got. The medic said that he can't push himself much past 100 meters otherwise he would lose his sight entirely. “Shut up Keith you know he only needs those things because you keep running off.” Lance smiled at his best friend, never doubt that Hunk will be there to defend him. “Yes thank you for reminding me Hunk” Shiro pressed a button and a blue circle surrounded the map “50 meters, don't leave the circle or Lance cant keep an eye on you.” Keith didn't look happy but Lance didn't really care, they were off in less than an hour and he had to get ready.

Lance would be lying if he said he wasn't excited as he set up his rifle. Some may think watching down from an old abandoned clock tower is boring, but to Lance, it was like playing the most exciting video game. He carefully took off his glasses and placed them in his case as he zoomed in on Keith and Shiro checking around them “Your clear to enter.” “Rodger,” Shiro replied. “And here I thought my name was Lance.” He could see how they rolled their eyes but decided not to humour him and instead entered the building. They were lucky that large windows lined the top of the walls so Lance could watch everything instead of having to shoot through the concrete like he had to in the past. “I count seven hostiles, five to your right Shiro rest on your left Keith.” Lance pulled the trigger on his gun “light em up boys.” he smirked as the light bulb exploded above them and the targets began to panic. It went quickly after that in flashes of red and purple blasts, it was particularly amusing to watch one try to make a run for it right into the broad chest of Hunk. Poor guy was tossed back inside like a rag doll. After ten minutes the building was clear. “Lance, can you see the package?” Shiro asked trying to look where he believed Lance was and instead missed entirely and was more focused over his right shoulder. “Negative, there's a back office out of view check there.” Lance shrugged as they did just that. He was so focused on Shiro and Hunk entering the room that he almost missed the unmistakable silver briefcase flash on the back of a motorbike that sped away from the building. “Purple motorbike heading north has the case!” Lance yelled. “I'm on it” Keith blasted through the wall and took off running. Keith really was a sight to behold, his fire powers all flash and destruction making him so powerful but also so beautiful. Lance hated to admit it, but he could watch Keith for hours. However thanks to Keith speed and the thrill of the chase Lance didn't realise he had long since left the safe premature until the familiar ache returned to his eyes. “Keith buddy you're going too far I can’t follow you.” Lance hissed pulling his vision back to normal as he rubbed his eyes with a hiss of pain. “Thank don't, in a big boy I can look after myself.” “Sure you can cowboy, just try not to get yourself killed without me.” Keith didn't answer but then again Lance didn't expect him to. Judging from the sounds he was fighting and though Lance wanted to watch he knew from the static from the coms that Keith was well beyond his limit. He was content with just listening to Keith kick the bad guy's ass. Then Keith cried out in pain. “Keith?” No answer. “Goddammit Keith” Lance hissed as he looked around for any new perch he could get to. Anyway, he could get closer so he could help. There was nothing. This was an abandoned industrial area, they had been lucky to even find the clock tower. Lance bit his lip unsure what to do. Then Keith screamed and lance made up his mind. He steadied himself as he pushed his eyes to where he last saw Keith, then further and further until the colours began to dull. Keith was laying in an alleyway being kicked over and over again in the ribs. Lance took a breath ignoring how his eyes burned. He took aim as hot liquid ran down his cheeks. He fired as he blacked out.

Keith thought he was going to die. This guy was fireproof and no matter how many times he blasted him nothing happened. The guy was tougher and stronger than Keith and despite being a hell of a fighter ended up on the floor being beaten to a pulp. Then the guy stopped and fell to his knees a bullet hole in his neck. “Man Lance I gotta admit that was a good shot” Keith chuckled as he struggled to his feet. “Lance?” He was met with silence, his com had been damaged in the fight. Sighing Keith began the task of returning to his team and prepared himself for a lecture from Shiro on going off plan.

He expected to find his leader standing in the doorway with his arms crossed and a stern expression on his face. He never imagined to find him with blood covering the front of his shirt and a horrified look on his face. “Shiro? Oh God, what happened are you ok?” Shiro nodded numbly “its not my blood…” “Hunk?” Keith whipped his head around unable to see the friendly giant “did he get hurt?” “It wasn't hunk” No. Oh God no please not Lance. “W-what happened? He was supposed to be safe in his perch.” “You happened Keith.” Shiro muttered, “you knew to stay in the perimeter and despite that, you still ran off.” “I had to” Keith tried to defend himself but the next words to leave Shiro's mouth left a sense of cold dread in the pit of his stomach. “You were more than 200 meters away! That was twice Lance’s limit!” Shiro snapped grabbing Keith by the collar “because you decided to run off and play lone wolf Lance had to push himself too far, I found him bleeding from the eyes and passed out in a pool of his own blood.” Keith felt like he was going to be sick “w-where is he now?” Shiro let go of him “He’s heading back with Hunk, their performing emergency surgery… maybe they can save his eyes but… Keith, I want you to understand something. Even though you believed you were doing the right thing you didn't save any civilians or prevent any world ending event. You stopped a drug lord's address getting away. Something we could have done another day. Because of you, Lance may never see again.” Keith took off running. He had to get to Lance.

[littlestartemis]

I have nothing better to do so I’ve decided to ramble my opinions on all of the pokemon rivals in sequential order. Under the cut cause I intend to go into detail on these.

Blue

This kid is a mixed bag for me. Part of his problem is that he just suffers from being a generation 1 character, which means only having one character trait apparently. Yes, he’s a jerk, the first ever jerk rival, and people love that, but being a jerk without nuance just makes you... loathsome. Even some of the weaker rivals, I still had these surprised moments of joy when my gameplay was halted to duke it out with them. With Blue? He’s the only one I ever uttered a groan at. “Oh good, this fucker has to waste me time and make me backtrack to a pokemon center to patch myself up before moving on.” The most insufferable thing about him is that no matter what, no matter how many times you put him in the dirt, he’s always convinced he’s so much better than you...

Until later games. It’s never stated what happened. If he had some self reflection, if Oak sat him down and told him to grow the fuck up, or what. But the next time we see him in the generation 2 games and onward, he’s still got this aura of smug confidence about him, but he seems more matured despite it. Like yeah, he’s hot shit, but you can be too if you work hard enough, maybe even almost as good as him. And while I love all of that for his character, that all comes after the fact. So as it stands, the Rival Blue, is lackluster, annoying, a headache, and undeserving of such a good fucking champion theme. Also the bitch has no unique rival battle theme unlike literally anyone else.

I’m also going to go into their music, though not nearly as much as their character.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5s4VYC9xR4

There are so many official variations and remixes and retoolings of the Kanto Champion theme that picking the “Best One” would be a practice in futility I think, so I just picked one of the better ones. What I have to say applies to pretty much all of them. And goodness, while I think Blue is a lukewarm rival it’s no wonder why this track has stood the test of time. Normally champion themes are in one of two categories, at least for me. The buildup themes, or the 0-100 themes. Some of them take some time to get there, to make you sweat a little as you realize who you’re dealing with, and some of them just kick down the door and GO. Blue’s theme though is interesting in that it kind of does both. It’s powerful, it’s oppressive in its composition and instrumentation, but there is just the tiniest buildup right after the bombastic kick off. I love it, it’s a strong theme with no real weaknesses.

5/10 rival, 8/10 character and theme

Silver

I think there was a time where if you asked around communities who long time player’s favorite rival was, a good majority would probably say Silver, and for good reason. He was another jerk rival, but with that fun little word I used before; nuance. He was mean, but rather than very deliberately being rude to you, it seemed more like he had other plans that you just happened to keep standing in the way of. He had a goal and he was going to accomplish it. And what was that? Curb stomping anybody brave or stupid enough to traipse around in a black and red uniform. This kid had a clear cut vendetta against team rocket, but instead of making him your ally with a goal like that, it set you as his obstacle every victory for you was one less for him, one less distraught rocket face he would get to see. And we even find out later why, and it’s fascinating. Giovanni’s kid? That’s utterly unique, and it really puts his hatred of team rocket and the idea of finding strength in others into a perspective you can really understand. Not to mention, there’s a bit of storytelling through gameplay with Silver that I’m sure most veteran pokemon fans know. So, he gets a Zubat on his team. Cool, right, edgy bat fits with the edgy tween. But at the very end of the game, when he’s been beaten time and time again and forced to confront why he isn’t strong enough, he realizes it’s because he’s been thinking only of his own strength, and not how much stronger his pokemon could be if they had his genuine care and support. And lo and behold, in his postgame battles, he’s got a proud, fully evolved Crobat on his team, which can only evolve with strong friendship. That’s good shit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZAV8mJY_Qs

For some reason it was kinda tough finding a decent rip of his theme. Ah well, this is easily one of the coolest rival themes. Much like Blue’s champ theme, it has this sort of oppressive energy about it, as if Silver isn’t even looking down on you, he’s just waiting to crush you and be on his way. He’s a fucking bad dude, and he’ll snuff you out however he can if it means he can get his shit done. 

9/10 rival and theme

Brendan and May

This pair of nerds. They’re... interesting. I do feel like they get a worse rap from folks since they were the first friendly rivals and the ones to start the trend, and truthfully I have nothing against the idea of having friendlier rivals. If every rival was an asshole it would get really stale really fast. These two though... Well, there’s just not much to them. In the rival role, they’re Professor Birch’s kid, which is basically their entire motivation for going on a pokemon journey to start with. A glorified favor/errand to fill out the dex cause they just happen to have easy access to one. Us being around is purely incidental, and I’m pretty sure the only reason they initially have an interest in us is because we’re Norman’s kid, a gym leader’s kid (dark shoutout to Brendan for throwing some nice 2002 sexism in his introduction with “Oh, you’re a girl? When I’d heard our neighbor was a gym leader’s kid, I was kind of hoping you’d be a boy.”) They get some extra significance in ORAS, which is much needed, having them around for a few Team Aqua/Magma encounters and even one last hurrah battle after you become champ to make up for throwing in the towel like a bitch after Lillycove. I don’t have much nice to say about them, but that’s mostly because I don’t have much to say about them, and what’s there is just... there. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rP0OXxc-zk

I’m not sorry. So, with our first friendly rival is our first more chipper rival theme. And truthfully, I like it! It’s very high energy, and has this twinge of suspense partway through to remind you that they have a wailmer you son of a bitch and you will respect the shit out of it under the cycling road. It’s bouncy, it’s fun, and it still has just the edge it really needs to be a proper battle theme I think.

4/10 rivals, 6/10 theme

Wally

And possibly the reason Brendand and May are so Just There. Wally. Now, I’ll say up front, I have a massive Gardevoir/Gallade bias, they’re my absolute favorite pokemon of all time, so having a rival character themed entirely around the pokemon family? Yeah that gets some free points from me. But earnestly, even without that, for as little as he appears he really is the true rival of the game. It’s a short story, but one you can rally behind. This sickly kid who isn’t even capable of catching his first pokemon without supervision and has to move to a small town with clean air just to like, function properly. But with dreams of becoming a pokemon trainer. He has the knowhow, he downloads apps he can use and study, he’s done the research beforehand for what all he needs to know, and after we set him straight in Mauville, he goes on his own journey separate from our’s. And when we see him again... what a god damn transformation (how do you become a badass by just unbuttoning your shirt). He really did it, he worked his ass off, and he made it to the pokemon league, he got a fucking mega stone - two mega stones actually since he gives you one - and he isn’t that same weak kid from the start of the game. He’s your equal, and you will respect him, if not for his power, then by the effort he had to put in to get to where he is now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_CiTJJg5_s

Why is this song so short. Powerful, resolute, triumphant, and 40 seconds long what the fuck. Length aside, this is the song Wally absolutely deserves, without question. I can’t express it anymore than in those few words. It’s the theme of perseverance, and the strength you can attain by never giving up.

8/10 rival, 9/10 theme

Barry

What a perfect bundle of energy. Barry is another friendly rival, but not just because he’s nice or something. No, he’s your friend, your childhood friend, and he treats you like it. He’s nice and is clearly happy to go on this adventure with you, but he also slams into you without saying sorry or feeling like he really needs to, and threatens to fine you billions of dollars if you’re late for your super important meeting on the outskirts of town. He is fucking chaotic dumbass personified, with such brilliant strategies as “run through the grass so fast the wild pokemon can’t catch us”, “let’s say thanks to the professor for giving us these novice pokemon by catching a legendary pokemon”, and “here’s the perfect foolproof winning strategy: never miss and never get hit, you’ll win every battle gauranteed”. And god dammit if he isn’t endearing for it. He’s your best friend, and has your best interests at heart, going so far as to take the fall with Rowan when he thinks his dumbass plan might lose you both the chance to get your first pokemon. But, he also wants you to be damn sure that the next time you see him he will be stronger, and he will beat you, and he will be the champion first, and is that one of those walls you put your face in to take a funny picture holy shit check it out I’m a croagunk haha. If you don’t like Barry, you’re taking the games too seriously, and I suggest you get in touch with your inner child because they’re probably starved for fun characters in your media.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hv8g5u55QFA

Did I say high energy because I meant high energy. A battle theme for the sugar high in all of us, he’s just so fucking excited to battle you again. Much like Brendan and May, there’s the tiniest hint of suspense later in the song, but it’s much shorter and less pronounced here. Because it’s not so much a battle with much at stake so much as two best friends having a good old fashioned round against one another for shits and giggles.

9/10 rival, 7/10 theme

Cheren and Bianca

If you had asked me a month ago what I thought of these two I don’t think I’d have had much good to say. Or... much to say at all, for that matter. For reasons that are very unclear to me now, generation 5 didn’t stick with me like others, and that’s actually kind of upsetting since I just recently finished playing through White version again. And boy, do these two have character in spades. 

I’ll start with Cheren. Cheren is great, because he’s actually almost a jerk rival, and I get the feeling if you weren’t supposed to be prior long time friends he actually would be. He’s very cool and calculating, and not too shy about getting pissy with each loss. He’s happy to lend you a hand, giving you tips, items he’s found that might be helpful, and fighting beside you against Team Plasma at a few turns. Something that stuck out to me was how nearly every rival battle was punctuated by “We both have the same number of badges now, so we should be on equal footing. Let’s put that to the test.” And each time, he’s not just being mad that he lost and then storming off, he’s very outwardly trying to deconstruct why he’s losing. You could almost picture him with charts and tables out, nose buried in his X-Transceiver screen between destinations, absolutely sure he missed some key strategy you used or that he simply overlooked. He’s very much the “power for the sake of power” rival at the start of the game, until the champion and the events with Team Plasma force him to confront his own flawed, short sighted goals. He can’t just Be Strong, he needs a reason for that, and that reason is ultimately protecting not just people important to him, but everyone. And that is just. So god damn cool. It extends to his eventual teaching role. Not only will he get stronger on his own, but he’ll teach others to be stronger, and in turn they’ll protect others too, and so on. And I think that’s perfect character motivation through and through.

Now Bianca. Oh man, do I love Bianca. She’s somehow the living version of if you perfectly spliced an introvert and an extrovert. She’s charming, outgoing, friendly, encouraging, and... also very shy, humble, not one to speak up most of the time. At least at first. And it’s such a tiny, blink and you miss it character trait, but every time she looses she needs like a full five seconds to hide her face under her hat before speaking again. Losing to you time and again does get to her, but she’ll be damned if she lets that deter you and your progress. It’s not your fault she lost, it’s her’s for not being stronger, and she ultimately realizes it’s because while she’s enjoyed raising pokemon and going on this journey, battling just isn’t where her heart is. But she still went on the journey, and fought to go on it, arguing against her father’s wishes for her to return home, and fighting by your side however she can through the debacle spreading over the region. She learns to stand up for herself and what she wants when she actually wants it, and even though in the end she might have been good enough to challenge the league if she kept at it, she realized it wasn’t for her, and that’s still ok. 

I don’t have much to add on regarding Cheren and Bianca’s roles in B2W2, beyond that it’s such a delight seeing them both realize their true purpose and being really happy with where they’ve wound up. Also I love their new looks.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Yr5Taoyalo

Their theme invokes the same sort of feeling as Barry’s in the sense that this is less about beating the other person and more about two friends having a good time with some friendly competition. Any sense of suspense is almost nonexistent, and the fun factor has been cranked up. It’s bubbly, it’s cheery, and it never really lets up, and while I do think that makes it kind of weak as a theme representing both of them, it makes for a fun song.

9/10 rivals, 6/10 theme

N

So like, I know BW/B2W2 are older games, but, spoilers for plot stuff.

I’ve heard a lot of arguments regarding whether N even counts as a rival instead of an antagonist outright, but I personally think he’s meant to be the rivalry edge to make up for Cheren and Bianca being so buddy buddy, like they were trying to address the friendly rival complaints after the last two games. And N is certainly a fascinating beast (hah), being very intentionally directly designed to be the dark antithesis to the standard pokemon protagonist character. The protagonist doesn’t speak at all, he speaks too quickly. The protagonist’s goal is very vague and broad, simply being “the best”, while N’s is powerfully stubborn and full of conviction. And of course it’s right there in the design, he’s even got the hat. N is also a very tragic character, intentionally raised and taught from childhood all for the purpose of being Ghetsis’ perfect tool towards world domination. He can literally speak with pokemon, he doesn’t get people, and interestingly up until the final battle in the game, he exclusively catches and uses local pokemon when you meet him, presumably releasing them once his friends have helped him test your own resolve. Team Plasma eventually splits into two factions in B2W2, those who truly believed in their ideals, that what they were trying to do was create a better world for people and pokemon alike, and those who were just using it as an excuse to be cruel dickbags and steal pokemon. If Ghetsis is the later, N is the former. This isn’t an evil plot for him, he isn’t some wicked mastermind working behind the shadows, he’s very clear cut and up front with you about what he’s doing, why he’s doing it, he even basically says “hey I could be wrong, I’m like 90% sure you’re also a hero so prove it and show me who’s intentions are more pure.” I love this guy, and I’m genuinely happy he ends up just living a happy life with his pet dragon wolf friend by the end of B2W2.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0ajBL15Knk

N’s theme is a weird one for me. I genuinely don’t enjoy the composition, but I can’t deny that it’s pretty perfect for him. This intentionally twisted idealist seeking all of the best things in all the wrong ways. It’s dark, fast paced, foreboding, and the ticking clock in this final version really sells that he won’t back down on creating what he truly believes to be a perfect world if you don’t get him to listen to reason. In short, wonderfully thematic, just not for me.

9/10 rival 5/10 theme

Hugh

I’ll be up front, I’m very overdo for a replaying of B2W2, so my recollection of Hugh is a bit foggy. That said, I do recall liking him. He’s high energy, but he also has a better handle on knowing how to direct said energy. Much like Silver before him, he’s very goal oriented and with a vendetta to work through, but rather than seeing your presence as an obstacle, you’re a trusted friend and ally, anything to make stomping out Plasma that much easier, and what better way to fight crime than with a friend at your side. I recall he had a habit of lashing out at strangers for being inattentive of their pokemon since his little sister’s purrloin got stolen (irony) by Plasma, but it comes from a place of good, so you can kinda get it. He’s well meaning, head strong, and a bit of a hot head, and while I need to reacquaint myself with him, I remember liking him alright if nothing else.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WZDEr6_xzsM

Shockingly, his theme is a bit more subdued in terms of your average battle theme. It’s got a bit of an edge to it, and I love the shit out of those drums, but it still has that friendly ring to it. Oddly, it gives me more of a megaman vibe than anything pokemon. And trust me, that’s not a bad thing. Just a very strange song altogether though.

6/10 rival and theme, subject to change

Serena and Calem

I don’t recall how much of this is true for Serena, but I do seem to recall the two actually having somewhat different personalities. And Calem borrows a bit from what I liked about Cheren. He’s still being buddy buddy with you, but as each loss piles on, he starts to get more and more outwardly frustrated with himself over them. What’s he doing wrong? You’re supposed to be at the same level as one another, why can’t he pull out just one win? And he’s slightly less apologetic about it, so he is a bit of what I described with “what if Cheren was still your rival but not your childhood friend”. I want to say that Sarena is much the same, but it’s simply been far too long, and for what good points they’ve got even after two full playthroughs, they just... don’t bring much to the table, much like similar rivals before them Brendan and May. And man, speaking of not bringing much to the table...

The Friend Gang

Mmmm... let’s start with what I like about them. Because earnestly, there is an aspect about Tierno, Trevor, and Shauna (respectively) that I like. For all of our rivals up until now, you’ve had roughly the same goal. To conquer all 8 gyms, defeat the elite four and champion, become the champion yourself, and maybe save the world if you happen to be in the area at the time. And you know, world of pokemon, that makes sense it’s all well and good. But like, some people run businesses. Some people drive taxis, some are singers, some are artists, some are scientists, not everybody wants to be a world class ace trainer. And, neither do these three. Tierno is interested in dance, and seems to want to go out there just to see new moves and techniques to incorporate them into dance moves. Trevor is actually interested in and invested in filling out every shred of information in the pokedex, which is refreshing since you know, we usually get as far as like maybe 50 pokemon tops before just calling it quits. And Shauna, I’ll admit I don’t recall much of her, but I seem to remember her going out on her journey much for the same reason Bianca did. Do figure out what she actually wants to do in the first place. Unlike Bianca though, she never really finds it I don’t think. So, they’re trainers, but with their own unique goals in mind. That’s cool! ... and it’s also all there is to them. They’re extremely one note most of the time, and regrettably very forgettable. Calling them rivals at all honestly feels kinda generous. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73UoF45hBVQ

Imma be real with you chiefs, I’ve been listening to like every other Gen 6 song except this one while writing this. This could have easily just been the generic trainer battle theme in any other region, which... after my analysis, I’ll admit, kinda makes sense. These aren’t ace trainers or anything, they’re just... some friendly peeps doing their own shit who happen to know how to battle too. But, thematics doesn’t save a song on it’s own.

3/10 rivals and song

Hau

Hau is just... god damned precious. He’s loose, he’s chill, he’s excitable, but not always excited, and happy to go with the flow on things. He’s not your childhood friend, but he acts like that just means he’s got lost time to make up for once he gets to know you, more than happy to offer you up snacks and whatnot. He’s a fast and loyal friend, and surprisingly one with his own goal in mind that actually kind of weighs on him in the background. He’s the grandson of the island Kahuna, Hala, which means he’s eventually supposed to take that role from the old man. And that’s a huge responsibility for a kid who just wants to enjoy the sun and malasadas. But, it’s one he wants to live up to earnestly, and he’s willing to work towards. He just has a little trouble working past that initial fear of “how can I possibly be as good a kahuna as my grandpa”. Plus, once he makes a friend, he’ll fight for em, eagerly and happily going along with you to the Aether Resort when he finds out Lillie’s in trouble. Rain or shine, Hau’s got your back, and is easily one of the best friendly rivals to date if you asked me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BYcMPXxJrg

This one reminds me a lot of Cheren and Bianca’s theme but this time it’s a lot more fitting. It’s a fun and silly time, whoever loses doesn’t matter, so long as everyone’s having a good time! A bit of a boring song, but perfectly befitting the character, so it gets a bit of a pass.

8/10 rival, 6/10 theme

Gladion

I would say “who hurt you”, but we have the answer to that question, and it really helps propel Gladion and indeed the entire Aether family to the heights of “well written pokemon characters”. But, we’ll stick with just Gladion here. When we first meet him he’s just another skull flunky, but even then not really. For as pathetic as the skull grunts are (I love all of you but you’re so bad), even they make fun of him. He’s a nothing to nobody who has nobody, nobody but him and his weird dog. He is so much the rebellious tween but dammit if he doesn’t have a good reason with how horrible and abusive Lusamine became after her awry experiments with ultra space. He took their experimental pokemon for his own, ran away, and never looked back, just trying to live a happy life as best he can with Type: Null. He’s very hardened, and clearly not looking to go make any relationships, but eventually he does warm up to you at minimum as someone he can trust in battle, and by the end of the game someone he can see as an equal and maybe even friend. Really, calling him a rival is a bit off. He has no real beef with you or your journey, most of the time it seems like he’s just fighting you because he’s in a bad mood. But he’s a young man who’s been hurt badly, and wants to keep others from feeling that same kind of hurt, and obviously if he’s nice and strong then nobody can ever stop him from keeping himself and the people he cares about safe. The friendliest of jerk rivals who deserves the utmost care and protection.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mDLj143lxVk

How to make a good battle theme: Step 1, slap bass. Step 2, there is no step 2. Jokes aside, I love this shit. It is utterly not in line with what you normally expect from a pokemon theme, and that kinda makes it work really well. It’s wild, it’s strong, and it denotes a kind of complexity to its energy. Not jaw dropping, but just a great slap.

8/10 rival and theme

[thesportssoundoff]

Ten Questions To Ask Post UFC 215

Joey

September 14th

1- Is the women's bantamweight division dead?

Allow for the hyperbole for a second. The UFC's bantamweight division in 2015 was a vibrant popping scene buoyed by one of the best rivalries in Miesha Tate vs Ronda Rousey. Even when the two weren't fighting, they were in competition with one another seemingly at all times. Throw in a rising Holly Holm, the "at least she's amusing" Bethe Correia,  a surging Amanda Nunes, some prospects trying to make some waves, aging pros like Marion Reneau and Sara McMann and you had a something. Maybe not a GREAT class but it's a something! Fast forward to 2017 and you have an unpopular Amanda Nunes, Valentina Shevchenko in limbo, an inconsistent Holly Holm (if not in performance than at least in weight), no Ronda, no Miesha, a missing Cat Zingano and Rocky Pennington and the likes of Marion Reneau, Sara McMann, Jessica Eye and Bethe Corriea all essentially doing a whole lot of nothing as it pertains towards career advancement. Leslie Smith may be your "breakout player" but she's a prelim creature if she's going to espouse unions on your programming.

This fight between Nunes and Shevchenko was supposed to either give us a dominant champion or set the stage for an epic rubber match in a rivalry. It ultimately did neither. It gave us more questions, seemingly at a time where an impatient fanbase is adamant about simply not wanting any more questions. After pulling out in July and giving us more time to indulge in their bad blood rivalry, we got a good fight with no real defining moments. It was a fine technical affair but one that lacked in the excitement factor and most importantly left everyone wondering who really won. The division is no better off now than it was and if anything, it's worse. Nunes is an unpopular champion (of all of Ronda's heirs, she's the one who has the most apparent "She's not Ronda!" backlash to her name), her largest threats are moving to new weight classes (Holm, Zingano and Shevchenko are all going to try their hands elsewhere) and Nunes seems to be buckling under the burden of being the adopted face of WMMA. It all makes you wonder what the future of 135 lbs. 145 lbs is a gimmick title but if Cyborg proves to be the star some think she could be then it may step over bantamweight, gimmick or not. The same I guess could be said for 125 lbs which will start with the weakest UFC champion in history BUT will likely have Valentina Shevchenko, Paige Van Zant, Joanna Champion and Katlyn Chookagian all in the division by the midway point of next year. 135 has a far less exciting path layed out for it, a million plotholes on a dirt covered road with an endless amount of deer and other wildlife darting in and out to derail it.

So is 135 lbs dead? I dunno. All I know is the UFC needs to figure it out before Nunes and company wind up with numbers that would make Mighty Mouse blush and cringe.

2- When is the best time to do Mighty Mouse vs Ray Borg?

Easy enough I guess. If Ray Borg is going to get the title shot still, when is the right time? The general consensus is UFC 216 which would probably be a not half bad set up. UFC 216's main card as of right now judging by the UFC.com line up would be:

Tony Ferguson vs Kevin Lee Derrick Lewis vs Fabricio Werdum PVZ vs Jessica Eye Walt Harris vs Mark Godbeer Beneil Dariush vs Evan Dunham

With Will Brooks vs Nik Lentz as your big FS1 headliner.

Not awful but surely not the best offering we're going to get this year. Throw in the fight with Borg vs Mighty Mouse as the main event and that's a pretty darned good fight. Now having said that, would Mighty Mouse vs Borg be better suited elsewhere? Fox in December? Icing on the cake of UFC 217? Do you kinda just punt on 216? Alvarez vs Gaethje needs five rounds so let's not think about that finale.

3- How do you prevent the seemingly unpreventable?

Fighters get hurt. That much is simply a fact of life. Nothing new nor is there much to do for major prevention. Fighters getting sick the week of from bad weight cuts? Maybe it's not a new concept but now it's exposed to the eyes of the public. The UFC has had a fight fall through either AT weigh ins or the day of the fights on all but three of their PPVs (210, 211 and 214) and at least three of those fights were main or co-main events. So how do you fix this? Fighters moving to their natural weight classes to prevent the intense weight cuts is a starter but you can't force guys to move weight classes. Stiffer punishments for fighters who pull out? Well I mean for the bloodthirsty among us you'd get a nod of approval BUT you're still essentially taxing people for having the audacity to miss weight. Probably not the best look either. So how do you prevent the unpreventable?

4- Is Henry Cejudo vs Sergio Pettis a more attractive fight than Mighty Mouse vs Ray Borg?

There's simply no doubting that Henry Cejudo was the star of UFC 215. He went out and finished Wilson Reis via strikes, something that hasn't happened since 2011 when Reis was fighting guys at 145 lbs. He finished him in less time than it took Mighty Mouse and his hands continue to take big steps forward. Cejudo is the sort of guy who at times will flash the skills and talent that reminds you why he's been such a highly regarded yet downright frustrating prospect. So all of this leads into seemingly a fight with fellow streaking 125er Sergio Pettis. Pettis' resume was wafer thin until he handled Brandon Moreno over five rounds in a pretty damn good fight. Now it looks like we're about to get a Cejudo vs Pettis rebooking and if so, is it a more appealing fight to fans than Ray Borg vs Mighty Mouse?

5- Okay Canada, NOW what?

Gavin Tucker, arguably your top prospect, just got swamped by Rick Glenn.  You seem to be lacking an exciting fight finisher of note and most of your top prospects are either losing (Elias Theodorou) or boring no buys fighters (Jeremy Kennedy and Olivier Aubin-Mercier). So....what's the plan then? There's some damn good fighters from Canada on the regional circuit but the search for the next star from Canada seems to be once again ongoing. Perhaps it's a losing battle fought by only the most desperate of us.

6- How far can this RDA at 170 lbs experiment go?

If there's one thing I've learned during this flock of lightweights moving up to 170 lbs, it's that 165 lbs is going to be one hell of a weight class when it gets opened up. The latest guy to join Donald Cerrone, Benson Henderson and Jorge Masvidal is Rafael Dos Anjos with a borderline dominant submission win over Neil Magny at UFC 215. RDA left 155 lbs after two losses, both relatively dominant losses I might add, and walked into 170 lbs with a few guys (myself included) not giving him much of a chance. He's beaten a tough stylistic challenge in Tarec Saffiedine and then walked through Neil Magny. There isn't a lot of fresh matchups at the top of 170 lbs as it stands given how Wonderboy/Woodley and Maia have faced EVERYONE but it'll be interesting to see if the UFC exercises patience re: Rafael Dos Anjos or if this performance can get him to leapfrog Robbie Lawler in the rankings.

7- Is Gil Melendez the biggest bust in UFC history?

Relatively self explanatory. The UFC has had some big signings but perhaps none have faltered as poorly as Melendez has. Hector Lombard could be argued is worse (or at the very least more expensive) but it felt like most folks acknowledged Lombard was more or less a desperate attempt at finding somebody who could eventually generate interest at 185 lbs. Cro Cop? Maybe I guess.

8- How will history look back at Sara McMann in the UFC?

McMann's UFC resume is relatively paper thin if one truly wishes to be critical about it. Sheila Gaff, Jessica Eye, Gina Mazany, Lauren Murphy and Alexis Davis mark her positives. Her losses on the other hand are pretty stellar; Ronda Rousey, Amanda Nunes, Kelten Vieira and Miesha Tate are the elite of the elites if you follow WMMA. McMann entered the UFC with a lot of fanfare but thus far hasn't made much good on it BUT at the same time, pick any women and ask her to face THAT same line up and see how they look at the end of it.

9- Is Kajan Johnson a UFC problem?

Well this is sort of dramatic I suppose. Kajan Johnson is a "problem" in a very loose borderline flimsy meaning of the word. He's an activist for fighter's rights and whether you agree or disagree with his views, it's probably better than not to have a guy looking out for fighters. Like Leslie Smith, he strikes me as a guy the UFC can just keep on prelims---but guys who win at 155 lbs will always get attention, especially if they finish tough fighters like Adriano Martins. So problem? Or no problem?

10- Did we learn something about Tyson Pedro or did we learn all we need to learn?

The general rule of thumb when it comes to prospects is that you should never trust a prospect until his wrestling is tested---repeatedly. While Paul Craig had no luck taking Tyson Pedro down, Ilir Latifi was able to find a way to drag him down again and again en route to a decision loss for the Aussie. So what did we learn? Is Tyson Pedro's wrestling always going to be a problem or was the typical strong man Ilir Latifi just a touch TOO strong for Pedro at this point in his career?

[platonic-plots]

I Can Count On You.

Request/Summary: You and Bucky have been almost inseparable since he took you in when he was laying low in Bucharest. He waits until the eve of the day he is being frozen again in Wakanda to tell you about his decision.

Pairings: bucky x daughter!reader (kinda-ish eh close enough)

Words: 1868

Warnings: vague mentions of abuse, lil bit of swearing n stuff

Specific time/Important info: i forgot that Bucky only had one arm when i was writing this and i don’t think it actually matters but just a heads up incase anything i’ve mentioned has something to do with it, also civil war has already happened to Bucky but he hasn’t been frozen yet.

Bucky had taken you in over a year ago. Terrified, starved, beaten - you had found him after fleeing the environment that almost killed you and he had taken care of you like you were his own child since. You owed this man everything; he was (and still is) the best father figure you’ve had in your life. Both of you suffer from horrific nightmares and there isn’t a day that goes by without at least one of you being sleep deprived, but each of you had at least some form of knowledge and experience of what the other had felt - you two were the only people who had successfully comforted the other during every sleepless night. You knew everything about each other, he told you unsettling tales of what hydra had done to him and you explained the uncountable nights when your drunken parents had hurt you beyond belief and messed with your mind. Bucky trusted you with his life and vice versa.

Then the civil war occurred.

He didn’t want you to get involved with any aspect of it. Understandable? Yes. Reasonable? Maybe- but not in your mind. Still, you couldn’t physically do anything to help (any of the fighting avengers had more strength in their little toe than you would ever have in your whole body) and the last thing you wanted to do was disappoint Bucky. He’d done everything for you, and going against what you’d promised would break his heart.

There was chaos. Despite not knowing them on any personal level, you were unbelievably relieved to know that nobody was killed, and that Bucky was okay. You were filled with relief when you saw him return to the motel he left you in.

You’d never hugged someone so much, “Please, please, please don’t do that again.” Your voice cracked slightly while it was muffled by his shoulder, you refused to let your tears fall but you couldn’t contain how you were feeling. You almost lost the last person you cared for.

“I’m sorry, y/n/n,” he held you closer.

You only stayed in the US for around a week before Bucky told you about Black Panther’s country.

“He’s invited us there, to Wakanda. To see what it’s like, are you up for it?” Despite the smile on his face, his eyes seemed to hide something, like he was keeping something from you. But you couldn’t assume that. After all you’d done for each other, you knew he wouldn’t keep anything important from you.

“Uh, y-yeah,” you replied. Bucky knew you were only agreeing to make him happy and he was grateful that you didn’t argue, for he didn’t want to break his news to you so soon- he was too scared.

So, that was it; within twenty-four hours, you’d packed your bags and got on the jet that had been sent for the both of you.

“Woah,” it was the only thing you could say, Wakanda was beautiful.

Bucky pointed out a man - surrounded by a big group of intimidating security guards - waiting after you touched down. T’Challa. You were introduced, you accidentally made yourself look like an idiot, the king smiled, and you were on your way to the room you and Bucky would be sharing. There wasn’t another way to describe it, you were staying in a building that was worthy of, well, royalty.

Bucky left the room after about ten minutes while you finished unpacking your stuff. When he was gone, you found yourself staring out of the window. Landscapes had always left you in awe, and this was no exception. If you craned your neck enough, you could just about make out an amazing statue, a panther.

“There’s someone I’d like you to meet,” Bucky announced as he came back into the room

“You must be y/n.”

Steve Rogers was standing at the door with a small, warming smile on his lips. You knew who he was; Bucky had told you stories about him from ‘back in the day’. You wanted to act like anyone else, you wanted to smile back, say hi, anything normal, but you couldn’t help it. Considering it took you over a week to trust Bucky, he wasn’t surprised when you backed away slightly at the sight of a stranger. He walked back over to you.

“It’s okay, y/n. He won’t hurt you, I promise,” Bucky spoke quietly to you, but you could tell Steve had heard him from the sympathetic look on his face.

Sensing you and Bucky needed to talk, Steve told his friend he needed to unpack and left the room.

“B-Buck,”

“I know, I’m sorry. But you can trust him, I swear, y/n. He’s saved my life - more than once” he smiled, “Please, y/n/n.”

“I’ll- okay.”

“Thank you,” he smiled and hugged you - you weren’t sure, but it seemed like he was more relieved that he should’ve been, “I love you,”

“I love you too.”

The rest of the evening flew past in a blur. The three of you had a meal together in an attempt to bond and it didn’t fail like you expected - you weren’t even that awkward around Steve. By the end of the night, you’d even had a conversation with him. Bucky really wanted you to feel comfortable around Steve and you were actually trying which made him feel a little proud. If Bucky trusted him so much, then you could too, right? That felt like seconds ago, as you sat in bed in his arms after a nightmare. It was 4 am and you had been woken up by a worried looking Bucky after you’d had a dream that he was killed and you were all alone, and you couldn’t shake the thought of one day not having him there. He sat with you, calming you down and telling you that you were okay. What would you do? You knew the thought would only stress you out, so you pushed it away, and it was morning before you knew it.

You spent the day being hectically rushed around on a tour of the buildings surrounding you and talking to T’Challa. The ‘day’ was over by around seven, so you and Bucky just went back to your room.

“Damn it, I’m late. This is really important, y/n. Steve’ll look after you, it’s only for a couple of hours. Okay thanks- bye.”

It’d only been an hour before Bucky was busy yet again; you watched as he raced down the corridor. Bucky had just finished explaining to you that he had some sort of meeting with T’Challa and it was a ‘private matter’, and he deliberately rushed off before you could object. You didn’t have a problem with Steve, you just weren’t a fan of new people in general. Despite this, you couldn’t help but feel like you’d warm up to him in no time. Just as the thought was crossing your mind, he opened the door to his room, which was next door to yours.

“Oh- um, h-hi,” you mumbled in an awkward reaction to seeing him so soon.

“Hey,” he smiled warmly and followed you into your room. You weren’t sure what to do, so you just sat next to the pillow on your bed and Steve did the same on the other side, picking up the tv remote. The movie channel was on and low and behold, it was showing Rise of The Guardians; your favorite film, although you’d only ever watched a total of 4 movies. You couldn’t help but give a little reaction when you heard him give a small grunt of a complaint.

“Hey,” you quietly dragged out, accompanying it with a half-smile.

“What, you like this?” his eyebrows raised slightly and he grinned- you could tell he was glad to get you talking.

“Yes! Why wouldn’t I?”

“Well, I mean, okay I don’t know,” you gave a small laugh as he continued. “Like this part-” he gestured to the scene where all the easter eggs were being decorated, “isn’t it all just a bit too happy?”

“Alright, miserable. But with everything that’s been happening, it’s good to take a break, right? I’m assuming you don’t want to be watching movies about robot wars.” he laughed and you went back to watching the movie in peace. Subconsciously, you lay your head on his shoulder - only now did you realize how tired you were. “A- oh, s-sorry I didn’t rea-”

“Y/n, it’s okay, stop worrying. No offence, but you look exhausted, c’mere,’ Steve opened his arms. He engulfed you in his embrace and you were asleep in minutes.

“You still haven’t told her? Buck, it’s tomorrow. That isn’t fair for her- you were gonna tell her, right?”

“Of course I was, I just couldn’t. Every time I wanted to, something about her made me stop. Y/n, I mean, she’s too young. I’ve told you the shit she’s been through, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her about this.”

“Tell me about what?”

Realising you were awake, Bucky’s face dropped and his eyes filled with guilt. Steve looked at you with something that almost resembled pity and mumbled something about seeing us tomorrow, before leaving.

“Bucky? What is it? What’s happening tomorrow?”

“L-let’s just sleep, we’ll tal-”

“No. Buck, please,” your voice cracked as you thought about the worse possible situations. What didn’t he want to tell you? Why didn’t he want to tell you?

“We came here, to Wakanda, because I needed help, and T’Challa offered it to me. Since I woke up after being frozen, I haven’t been able to control what hydra did to me a-and I’m scared for the people around me- for Steve, for you. I-I don’t want you to be in danger, I don’t want to hurt you, y/n. The scientists here, they’re trying to figure out how to stop it taking over, but until then, I’m going back under.”

“N-no.”

“Y/n-,”

“No, you, you can’t. You can’t just wait until, until” you couldn’t even form a sentence.

“I’m sorry, y/n/n. Listen, I know you’re mad, just try to-”

A tear fell down your cheek and you buried your face in his chest and clung onto him. Initially, Bucky was shocked but within seconds he hugged you back just as tight. You were understandably pissed off but you were quick to realise that nobody knew how long it’d take to figure out how to stop the thoughts of hydra from changing Bucky, and you didn’t want one of your last encounters with him to be so negative. Although you didn’t want to admit it, you could reason with his choice of not telling you. If you were in his place, you probably would’ve ended up doing the same thing. You silently stood there in each other’s arms for a few minutes before a few quiet sobs left your lips and Bucky spoke in response.

“Shh, I won’t be gone for long, I promise, y/n/n.”

“I-I know, I’m just scared. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’ve got Steve- he knows how much you mean to me, he’d risk his life if he had to. I swear you’ll be fine. I can count on you.”

Ok I know this isn’t great but I tried lol. Also if anyone cares enough, send me an ask if you either (a) want to be tagged in any future fics or (b) want to request a fic :) Thank you for reading!!

[typewritertoni-blog]

The Church Teaching Vs LGBT+ of the Philippines

Toni Torres here with my first post! I've decided to express an opinion I have on this issue up there. Yep. The title. Don't get me wrong, I'm a Catholic. I've been raised in a Catholic school and studied Christian Living for eleven years. Something in me just seems to analyze and see all of these arguments of Catholics who reason their hate against the LGBT+ community. I strongly oppose them. I am a victim of their discrimination, I'm a bisexual teenager after all. I grew up hearing that I was the scum of the earth. Just because I prefer both genders. Amazing.

Do their arguments really hold up? Can hate be justified? Morally and logically? No. And I will rant on why. This will be the fruits of all my bible reading, researching and writing. Let's get into it!

Many would argue that it is stated in the Old Testament that no man should lie with another man and a woman with another woman. I need to stress the words: OLD TESTAMENT. Loud and clear? Good. These rules are from a time before Chirst, a time before the Messiah. A time so ancient that we don't really keep much of the rules that they have mentioned.

You know those rules right? How to sell slaves, how we aren't allowed to eat certain types of meats (we don't have those restrictions in the present, by the way), men could have multiple wives and many more ancient rules that were regarded as Gospel at the time. Do we follow these outdated rules in the present? NO. The rule of polygamy in the Old Testament is against the teachings of the Church about monogamy. So why should we treat this specific rule about homosexuality like it is an unbreakable rule that should be followed at all times? If we shall do so, shouldn't we adopt these old rules as well?

We live in the era after Christ saved us. His two most important Commandments, love God with all you heart and Love thy neighbor as you love they self, are the basis. The Old Testament rules can only be applied to the times of Old and are not feasible or necessary to follow. Our focus should be on the new.

Some people also argue that homosexuality falls under one of the Ten Commanents: "You Shall Not Commit Adultery". The definition of adultery is to have sex with someone you are not married to. Homo people have sex because of one of two reasons: 1) They are in a commited monogamous relationship that resembles marriage but cannot be marriage because it ain't legal in their country. 2.) Lust has taken over and they have therefore sinned. You know, like all other straight people who have sex left and right. But do we see people up in arms about it now? No. Double standards, I tell you. They make homosexual sex such a big deal and turn a blind eye to straight people who are having extra-marital and pre-marital sex.

Let's put it into the context of the era the Old Testament was in. Homosexual intercourse is a ritual by pagans to their gods and was basically RAPE. Some have homosexual intercourse because of LUST and not LOVE. These are the types of homosexual relationships that God doesn't want. God is the ultimate symbol of love. Why would he be in the way of a love that is pure and true? If that pure and true love was between two people of the same gender, what difference does it really make?

I know what some of you might be saying. "Homosexuality is unnatural!" BOY YOU SURE 'BOUT THAT? If you try to do a little bit more research, same-sex relationships in animals do happen. They're natural. If you're worried of declining number of babies then don't you fucking worry. Many animals accept these same-sex relations, have they gone extinct? Hell no!

I could hear another keyboard warrior typing off with another objection. "Jesus told us to be fertile and multiply! Being gay means not doing what He says." Slow down there, bucko. Do you guys take everything literally? My CL teacher taught me to not take everything literally, that it takes patience to interpret meaning. Like how the parables aren't literal and have meaning, so too does the Bible. Although yes, having children and teaching them about Christianity is one way of fulfilling this responsibility, it is not the only way. Being fertile could also mean being fertile with faith and strong love for God then converting the people around you, thus multiplying believers of the Good News.

"Marriage is between a man and a woman! God made man and woman for eachother!" For religion, marriage is all about reproduction. But isn't marriage supposed to be a bond between two people who love eachother so much that they would like their love to be sealed by God's grace? Just like I said in the previous argument, making babies is not everything. Reproduction is important but not everyone needs to do it. Having kids isn't a responsibility, it's a choice. If you're going to punish gay people for not taking part of the reproduction of our species then you should punish those who practice celibacy like our nuns and preists. Alsooo those who are barren. Was it their fault they were barren? No and the Church leaves them alone. Is it the fault of homos to be the way they are even if they were like this ever since?

Hell, the world is overpopulated. If you're worried that straight people won't exist in the future if we let homosexuality and queerness run wild, don'tcha worry. EVERYONE HAS PREFERENCES. Like how you might like chocolate than vanilla, even if many of your peers like vanilla more. YOU STILL CHOOSE CHOCOLATE RIGHT? Your preferences are uniquely your own and no one can influence you to be like someone unless you let them. So you won't be gay if you truly aren't gay. Like how you won't like vanilla if you truly don't.

If you really want no gay weddings in your churches then at least don't meddle in state affairs! The rights of others won't undermine your religious rights. States are supposed to represent all the people and not everyone is Catholic. Seperation of Church and State. Not all Filipinos are Catholics. Even if a Filipino were Catholic, they should be allowed freedom of thought. Let them think what they want to to think, outside of the religious belief system. Then again, organized belief systems don't let people have their own interpretations. We must follow the leader's interpretation. That truly destroys free and critical thinking.

Man and woman are made for eachother…for reproduction. It's simple biology and I won't argue with that. We're talking about relationships. Not all people believe that the opposite sex is for them, some people believe that they'd like the same-sex as a partner. Again, all about preference.

I could go on and on about the different verses and reasonings that Catholics (maybe priests) make about being anti-homo. If you want me to answer any of the ones I haven't discussed then feel free to send a question to submissions. My beliefs probably don't stem from Catholic dogma but I simply base what I believe in the Word of God. It was made by Him as he used the Bible writers as his vessels.

As a good Catholic, I should believe in what the Church says but I'm tired of playing dumb. I'm tired of hating myself just because some people with fancy titles say so. These doctrines, the ones that reject homosexual and queer people, are not of God. He is merciful. He is forgiving. He is loving. He loves us. He won't hate me for being bi, He loves me because I'm His child.

"But Toni…how can you say that those doctrines are not of God, you aren't a prophet!" I'm no prophet nor am I pretending to be. The God I know and have been raised to believe in is not an all-powerful entity that hates people because of shallow reasons. My CL teachers and the Church themselves have taught me that God is Love.

The Church may be founded by the Chosen 12 of Jesus but the Church is far from perfect. We are taught that. If only they could accept that maybe the things that they teach could seriously hurt and isolate the queer people who are God's children as well. If only they could keep on improving themselves instead of insisting that backwards thinking would work the best. Jesus himself was a radical, who changed beliefs and taught differently but without losing the essence and all the while creating something new, better and updated.

Is being queer a weakness? (These godly people insist that being homosexual is human weakness, after all.) To answer that, you better answer this: Is loving someone a weakness? No. If anything, loving with a pure heart is the strongest and bravest thing you could ever do.

Even if it is human weakness in doctrine, straight people have human weaknesses as well. You call it, sin. Simply being human. Again from my points from previous paragraphs, there are double standards.

You don't see straights getting beaten up because they love someone. They don't get to be called dirty and worse than animals. We are all equal. We are all sinners. If I sin for being who I am then you are no different than me because you sin too. All sins are equal, so are the good things we commit in the eyes of God. So don't go riding your high horse because I might shoot it down with a shotgun of logic. People like you are the reason why many members of the LGBT+ Catholics face discrimination and pain. Jesus told us to comfort the afflicted, not drag them to the ground.

As our Lord said, "Let him who has never sinned, cast the first stone."

Okay. Now let's discuss how the CBCP is demanding that LGBT+ people should not have protection and not have a right to protection by the Anti-Discrimination Bill. The news is kinda late but their point still stands until now. The SOGIE Bill that aims to protect our Filipino LGBT+ brothers and sisters are being restricted by this. They insist that we are disordered when humans have always been disordered because of our tendency to sibln. Looking down on us like we're monsters or deviants serving the devil. In reality, we simply want to love and be loved. Just like everyone else.

Here you are, CBCP, calling yourselves Children of God when you yourselves act like the devil who tries to make the lives of other people miserable, the LGBT+ community in particular. Are you so blinded by dogma that you stop remembering what our mission as Christians are? We are tasked to show and express God's love to all peoples. Is denying the LGBT+ from protection your way of showing God's love? If so, that is a HORRIBLE way of doing it. You're just doing the opposite at this point.

I'm sure many Catholics are accepting and could see reason. Many probably disagree to the CBCPs actions. What I'm striving to fight against is how the teachings that are supposed to guide us to become good Catholics are teaching us to see LGBT+ people as scum of the Earth. No true child of God would do that, right?

We don't like things we don't understand. Maybe the Church has not tried to show compassion or try to understand the LGBT+ community. We are supposed to reach out to the oppressed but no. We are the oppressors.

So... Who's the scum of the earth now?

We don't have to let things be this way. God always gives us second chances. And I think it is high time that we change for the better, for the sake of our LGBT+ brothers and sisters who are faithful to God and to His mission of bringing His love to all people.

Remember. Bring His love to ALL people.

That includes us.

Sincerely,

Toni Torres

(For questions or rebuttals, just send one to my submission box or comment them. I'd be happy to see what your thoughts on the topic are. Did I miss something? Was I innacurate? Do enlighten me. This rant was based on knowledge I have at the present. In discussing these matters with civility but with conviction, we will learn more from eachother. Who doesn't want knowledge? Anyways, thank you for reading! Sorry for the rant, this topic was too close to home and I just wanted to say my piece. I dedicate this post to all LGBT+ people out there who struggle to come to terms with their identity and faith. I've been through that and I know it is tough. Just keep on believing.)