#why do you even remember this? lul

[mothwingwritings]

WOW!!! I LOVED "The Innocent Act Of Dredging Up The Past", IT WAS VERY GOOD!

I wonder how Y/N reacted when she found out she was pregnant and how Fox allowed herself to keep the baby because he doesn't seem like someone who likes sharing attention.

Thank you so much darling!!! I am so glad you asked me this because I have been thinking about Ren as a father nonstop since that request. My brain has been full of many thoughts and opinions and I am happy to have an outlet for sharing lol. That being said, forgive my blathering. ^^;

(18+ and warnings for noncon, pregancy/baby birthing talk, incredibly unhealthy relationships, abuse, and being kidnapped/held against your will.)

Being impregnated by Ren would be absolutely dreadful for you, causing you to spiral into a pit of fear and despair the moment you miss a period or begin to feel queasy in the morning. With the signs starting to show, your brain comes to the instant conclusion that you are with child-his child, and it frightens you like nothing else before. At first you try and convince yourself nothing is wrong, that you are probably just late due to stress, and your upset stomach can be any number of things, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are pregnant. Any of your symptoms can be explained away by something else, so in an effort to try and maintain your sanity your brain churns out explanation after explanation, no matter how nonsensical they may be, in hopes of calming your rampant nerves by coming to some other resolution. A stream of constant lies and false reassurances play on repeat in your brain, forcing the thought that you may actually be a mother to the farthest reaches of your mind.

But the longer you wait and the more you dwell on it, the more you are faced with the inevitable. He never wears protection, you haven’t had access to birth control, and despite your warnings of it being a delicate time of month for you, his base instincts always won out in the end. There was nothing else this could be.

Faced with the reality of the situation, you were now tasked with the burden of sharing the news with Ren. You didn’t want to tell him, terrified of what his response would be, worried that he would somehow blame this all on you and hurt you because of it, quite possibly worse than he ever has before. But an even more horrifying concern than that is if the news actually pleases him. What if he wants to keep the baby? What if you were forced to carry this pregnancy to term while trapped in this grim environment, left to raise another human that shares half their dna with a man who has done nothing but cause you irrevocable damage?

No matter what the outcome, none of them are favorable.

But you didn’t have a choice, and you knew it was better to break it to Ren sooner rather than later, lest this whole nightmare become irreversible. In the event he saw things your way, you wanted this thing out of your body as soon as possible (though you loathed to consider what strings Ren would pull to achieve this, and what backwater procedure would be done to do so).

At first Ren brushes it off, not truly believing your concern. He’s had sex with you countless times without protection and just now you get pregnant? Seems suspicious, so he concludes you’re either overreacting or trying to get a rise out of him, potentially both, and that in and of itself riles him up. Are you telling him this as some kind of ploy? Are you using a false pregnancy as a means to get him to ease up on you a bit or as an attempt at escape? After all you had gone through together, after all the love he has lavished upon you by sharing his home, his life, his heart, with you… Would you really tell a lie like this?

He struggles with that possibility. Despite his inclination to feel otherwise, he has a hard time believing you would use a pregnancy scare for your own selfish benefit. You have always been a good girl, his good girl, and deep inside he knows this is not something that is within your nature to do, even if he does have some major doubts.

So, though he doesn’t truly believe your claims, he buys the pregnancy test more as a means to shut you up and prove a point than because he actually believes you. Needless to say, he ends up biting his tongue over that one.

When hit with the truth, his emotions are mixed. On one hand, he wants nothing to do with children or child rearing. He didn’t have to do much of a self-assessment to recognize he would be a shit father, and he never particularly wanted to be a father to begin with. His own upbringing wasn’t the best, he himself never really having a father figure that was worth a damn to guide him or show him any love or support. He had no parenting manual to go off of, and was sure that a culmination of having no positive family experience and maturing into the warped individual he had become led to no other conclusion than NOT being cut out for fatherhood in the slightest.

More than that however, the thought of sharing you, even with a life he helped create, really REALLY pissed him off. Thinking of all the nights you would be spending tending to the baby when you could instead be wrapped up in his arms, or all the attention and affection you will be giving some inept kid that could instead be going towards him, truly gets under his skin. He doesn’t WANT to share you. You’re HIS. And while a baby isn’t going to change that, he doesn’t want the needless competition to begin with.

But on the other hand, having a baby does have its appeal. It would be nice to bring a life into this world that loves him from the get-go, completely relying on him while being totally oblivious to all that has happened in the past. That sort of pure, blind love is hard to come by in this world, and the fact that he could obtain it so easily from a life he created with you, a human that has your blood running through its veins, is EXTREMELY appealing. And on top of that, you are sure to love the child whether its conception was wanted/planned or not. If you loved a child that was half his for the remainder of your life, would that not bind you to him for just as long? Though he didn’t doubt your loyalty (or his ability to keep you tied to him with no hope of escape), it would be a nice assurance to have in the rare event things did not end up going his way.

Once that thought enters his head, it’s over. No further thinking or future planning is required-he is going to be a father, and YOU are the beautiful mama! Congratulations! (Does he get off to you being pregnant? Did this pregnancy make Ren Hana realize he has a breeding kink??? Sources say yes and that’s your problem to deal with now. :))

♡

Holding his newborn for the first time, he has never been so nervous. Tears flood his eyes as he watches the small bundle squirming in his arms, his heart aching as they stare up at him with wide, pure, inquisitive eyes. He was no stranger to ending lives, but creating them? This was something entirely new, as exhilarating as it was scary. His smile grew as he stared at her small face, pleased that she looked so much like you. He could only hope that her personality would mirror yours as well.

♡

As time passes and the baby grows, you find out quick that Ren has a very ‘hands off’ way of parenting, which is to say he relies on you to do most of the work. And honestly, he feels that is fair. He’s the breadwinner who works hard to provide for you and the newborn, which leaves all other parental duties in your capable hands. You are left to be the child’s main caregiver, their guiding force to lead them through life, their teacher, confidante, and friend. It’s a daunting task, all residing solely on your shoulders.

Ren won’t readily admit it, but he much prefers it that way. All the abuse that he has suffered through from an early age, every heinous act of violence that has been carried out by his own hands (your wounds, included), all of it has turned him into something unrecognizable, something grotesque. Even if he wanted to have more of a presence in his child’s life, he knows he doesn’t deserve it. If he had too much sway in the kids development there’s a good chance they will grow up to be like him in some way or another, which would be a waste of all the love and hard work that you had put into raising them into being an upstanding person. Ren had made peace with who he had become, but that didn’t mean he wanted to keep a cycle that someone like Strade had begun going either.

So, the baby more or less becomes your soul responsibility, and god is that a burden for you. It’s bad enough that you have such little support from Ren to begin with, but the fact that this is YOUR first time being a parent as well makes it all so much worse. You have no idea what the hell you are doing, and with Ren making sure to keep you as isolated as possible you had no one else to turn to for help, either. It was just you and this brand new life with no one else to rely on, if you fucked up in even the smallest way it could be devastating to the baby. If your daughter got truly hurt, sick, or worse in your care, you didn’t know how you would live with the repercussions, let alone handle Ren’s reaction.

If your life with Ren hadn’t already made you a strung out, nervous, irritable wreck, being a mother certainly would. As she continues to grow, Ren refuses to discipline the child at all, not wanting in any way to appear like a ‘bad guy’ to your daughter. Given the circumstances, part of you is thankful for that (you honestly don’t know what you would do if he turned his ire towards her), but it also just makes things more difficult with you. You are already beyond stressed about trying to raise a child in this type of environment, having no united front and constantly butting heads makes raising her that much harder, especially when any kind of rule you attempt to establish can so easily be overridden by her father who has no remorse over the frustration this causes, nor care as to how his flippancy may affect your child’s development in the long run.

It’s also not lost on you that being the sole disciplinarian also paints you in a less than favorable manner in your child’s eyes, something you are sure Ren has thought about as well. Being the ‘strict’ parent means your child will be more likely to hide things from you, or seek out her father instead of you for support, approval, and advice. Given whom Ren was as a person, this thought didn’t sit particularly well with you.

All you can really hope and pray for is that somehow despite the lack of social interaction and outside influence she will grow up to be a decent human. Even maturing under the delusion that her father is a noble man, even if in some instances you have to make yourself the villain, as long as it helps her out in  the long run you’ll do everything you can to insure your daughter lives the best life she possibly can, whether her father helps you or not.

I think the REAL problems will begin when the child gets older. When she truly comes into herself and forms her own opinions, develops her own personality, and starts to forge her own way of life… It’s gonna be messy. :/ Your child’s autonomy is definitely going to be a point of contention for Ren in the future, and he won’t be so pleased if/when she catches on to his true nature and begins to rebel or straight up reject him. God forbid she tries and join forces with you or attempt to become your savior. It’s going to take a lot of cunning on her end to make it out unscathed.

Also, I kind of touched on it previously, but Ren would be incredibly horny the whole pregnancy. Not that he isn’t already incessantly slavering over you, something about seeing you round and full just makes him snap. Which is scary in its own right, Ren isn’t the most gentle of lovers to begin with and has a tendency to lose himself more often than naught, hurting you in the process. It’s a constant struggle to satiate him while protecting yourself and the unborn baby, best of luck to you! :D

(And he’ll definitely breastfeed from you. He’s gotta make sure you are producing enough for the baby, ya know? :))

[luveline]

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞 —send me a shy!reader request for any character (with a plot) and I'll write a >1k drabble

shy reader who really just wants to lie down on the couch with james, but remmy and sirius are over

luveline's 40k party ☆ thank you for requesting ♡ fem!reader

"It's, like, exploding eyeliner or something. Every time I use it I look like I've cried my eyes out," Sirius says. 

You linger behind the doorway, hands curled into your shirt behind your back. James, your boyfriend, is lying down on the sofa. You'd been sitting with him until you needed to use the bathroom, and while you were gone his friends came home. 

You can't complain —it's their house, not yours. But you don't know what to do now.

"I thought you changed to pencil," James says, stretching like a cat in the sun, the firm lines of his chest rippling. You're shy, but you can't lie to yourself. James is a catch.  "Like, the kohl stuff." 

"It's hard to put on."

"And take off," Remus says, having splayed beside Sirius on the single armchair. 

Sirius pulls Remus' thigh further into his lap. "So I decided against it for Remus' sake." He must have a better sixth sense than the other two, turning in the chair to smile at you. "Hey, doll. You okay?" 

"I–" You beg yourself not to stammer. "M'okay. How are you?" 

James beckons for you to come in as Remus answers, "Don't ask him, he'll never stop complaining." 

You obey James' ask and try to sit where you'd been before at his feet, but he catches your waist and pulls you down. Your back across his hips, his arm over your stomach, it isn't intimate in the dirty sense but intimate all the same. Your cheeks catch fire instantaneously. 

"I'm quite good, actually," Sirius says. 

"Yeah?" You sound ridiculous. "What about you, Remus? Did you, um, did you finish your new chapter?" 

Remus grins at your remembering. James' hand squeezes approvingly, clearly pleased as well as Remus delves into an explanation of why his novel seems to have stagnated. Your stiff as a rod despite James' nice handling while you listen. You want to lie down with him, your eyes heavy, the light outside fading as the boys talk, but appearances hold you back, even as Remus dissolves into Sirius side like wet paper and kips. 

"You okay?" James asks, hand climbing up to just below your chest. "Lie down with me." 

"I don't want to be, you know, rude," you whisper.

James doesn't laugh nor tease you. "It's not rude, lovely, this is my house, and you're welcome to do what you like when you're here." He's whispering too, careful not to talk louder than the TV. "If you want to lie down, you can. He won't care, and it's not rude. I'll cover you up like a blanket anyway." 

James sits up a little and pulls you gently to his front. You put your legs up next to his and lay back, giving in to the lul of his warm skin seeping through your shirt, the coiled muscled of his forearm where he squeezes you up tight to his chest. 

Sirius looks over at the movement. "We're just cushions, mate," he says to James, grinning. 

James kisses the side of your head with palpable pride. "That's all I was made to be," he says happily. 

[solarnomoon]

care for a man - kim mingyu

mingyu always takes care of you, even when you don't take care of yourself.

pairing >>> mingyu x male reader

tags >>> college au, fluff, suggestive content, implied smaller reader (he's 6'2 T-T)

author's note >>> sorry for literally dying, hope this is acceptable as an apology o.o i was listening to love me again by v while writing this if you want the vibe lul

"gyu, please..." you try to push his head away from your neck, attempting to type on your computer for your assignment, but with with you agreeing to sit on his lap while you work, nothing was getting done. "gyuuu..." you start again, pulling your neck away but just resulting in a soft whine and a tighter grip on your waist, and then left you a mingyu that was more insistent on leaving hickeys on your neck, even though he had already left dozens in the past hour.

when you finally get a moment of rest, he just stares at you waiting for you to make eye contact with him. eventually, you wonder if he was scrolling through his phone considering that he stopped, so you turned to check, but was met with a face still looking at yours. "yes gyu?"

"do you not love me?" he pouts, his lips turning downward while awaiting your answer.

"huh? are you fucking dumb? what kind of question is that?" you turn back towards your computer to type a couple of sentences.

at the same time, mingyu leans away from you in disbelief, staring at you with wide eyes and an open mouth. "wow, the f-bomb? so you hate me." he stands up, picking you up as well, ignoring your muffled complaint. "so you're breaking up with me," he says, placing you on the bed. "so you literally just said you want nothing to do with me." he lies next to you, holding you by your waist.

all you do is giggle, knowing this is just his antics. "hey, gyu, i was working! and i never said that, you're putting words in my mouth. you know i'd never break up with you," you whine out of faux annoyance, but he knows you need a break anyway. you push him on his back as you climb on top of him, squishing his cheeks together, and getting a smile from his face.

he places his hands on your hips, his fingers drawing small shapes into them. he loves the way the computer light shines on your face in the dark room, allowing him to see the beauty of his boyfriend. "well, if you wanna show me how much you would never break up with me, why don't you let me put something else, something bigger in your mouth?"

you scoff, glancing briefly at your open computer before returning your gaze to your boyfriend. "you disgust me, kim mingyu.”

he leans closer to your lips, wanting a kiss, "but you love me, y/n." he closes his eyes, expecting you to meet in the middle, but seconds pass and his gorgeous boyfriend's lips never touched his own. "where's my kiss, y/n?" he pouts, opening his eyes at the same time, noticing that you're looking at your computer, and with you as his little brainiac, he knows the gears in that head of yours are turning rapidly for your work. "y/n, you've been sitting on my lap for two hours just working. don't you think it's time for a break?"

"mmm, mingyu, i was almost done though..." you whine, attempting to get up after thinking about the next sentence of your editorial. however, as you begin to move away from mingyu, he pulls you back in, hugging you tight on top of him.

"nooo baby... you can't work anymore... i need attention!"

you laugh, leaving a kiss on his nose, "you know, i see why everyone on campus calls you a puppy." he just smiles, turning his head at the same time, obviously wanting you to continue on. "you're adorable like one, you love hugging and stuff, you need attention like all the time," you pause a bit, a dumb smirk appearing on your face before finishing your sentence, "and most of all, you're fucking insatiable. i mean, c'mon, four rounds minimum?"

he covers his face up after hearing your words, remembering how he said that in the very beginning of your relationship. when you confessed a year ago, mingyu told you that he needed "at least four rounds every time" as a deterrent because he didn't think he deserved to be with you. of course, you wanted to be with him, therefore you didn't mind (plus you're just as insatiable as him), so it's a funny memory to you now. "i-it was a joke, y/n! don't remind me."

you roll your eyes, tapping his forehead with your finger, "a joke that seems to be true. you know, it seems to be five rounds now." he hits your shoulder playfully at your words. "kidding, kidding! kinda." you sigh, just staring at your boyfriend. "but you really are like a puppy. a six foot something puppy."

"six foot two, baby. not that it matters, you're fucking tiny anyway."

"i'm not even that small, you're suuch a bitch." you place a gentle kiss onto his lips, granting a smile from him in return. "how about this, i stop working for the night, and we go into the kitchen and i make us a late-night snack? sound good, gyu?"

his eyes sparkle at the sound of you not working, his nonexistent tail practically hitting the walls and the ceiling with how excited he was hearing those words. "yes, please, y/n! i was getting so hungry and you weren't giving me any kisses and i was getting so sad."

"like i said, a puppy." you kiss him again on the cheek, answering his woeful call, "i'll give you all the kisses you want, okay gyu?"

he nods, getting up and carrying you bridal style. he places a kiss on your forehead. "i love you, y/n. i'm going to marry you one day."

and though you said you'd make food for him, he forced you to just sit down and watch him do everything for you, with the reasoning of "my beautiful boyfriend shouldn't move a finger after working so hard," and you swear you could feel the ring around your finger right then and there.

[velvet-apricots]

I had been struggling for a while to think of ways the dlc could happen in my fics, and finally i got an idea. What if Mohg was never defeated in a fight but finally fell to the horn that grew into his skull? And that developed into this. A reunion that is bitter sweet, because there is nothing that can fix what was done, but at least he is not alone.

She was not real. She could not be real. He was seeing things now. He had to be.  “Go away.” Mohg slurred, staggering to his feet, spear in hand, around him his Dynasty was in ruins and yet he could not even see it, “Get out of my head.” She stood there looking at him, not fading away. Radiant and golden. He got angry, mood switching violently. He thrashed, his spear slamming into the ground much like how a child would thrash around a stick during a tantrum. His outburst aggravated his ever present headache, throbbing so painfully that he recoiled, nausea hitting him in waves. He vomited, before staggering and falling over with a thud. He mumbled to himself, rage dissipating to confusion. He looked around, before his eye fell to the cocoon and the hand that hung from it.  “Miquella… why have you not yet woken?” he grasped the hand, rotting and malformed, no longer human looking, “Why have you not ascended? Have I not done enough? Mother…” He turned again. She was still there, closer now. Just an arms reach away. She reached up, and touched him. Palm running along the horn that had long grown deep into his socket. His eye closed, and he remembered. She never looked at him because whenever she did, he could see how much she hated him. The rage returned, but he was too tired and dizzy to do little else than curse her. “I hate you.” he hissed. “I know.” she said. “I want you to die.” “I deserve to.” she agreed. “I will never forgive you for what you did to us.” “I would never ask thee for it.” She stepped closer. Mohg pulled away, but she followed, leaning in close. Ever so softly she kissed his brow. His headache eased, and his eye slipped closed. “You will see.” he hissed, “I will ascend him, and I will destroy the Golden Order.” “I am sure ye will. Thou art my son. Revenge is in thy blood.” “I am…. I am your son.” he agreed. Her hands ran over his horns, shadow and flesh, a mother’s touch he did not ever remember feeling. His headache was now gone, and all that was left was a deep tiredness. “Go to sleep.” she urged him gently. His crown of horns felt so heavy, and so he slowly began to set his head down. She followed him, sinking to her knees and allowing his head to rest upon her lap. He was bathed in light. Bathed in the kindness of gold, without the order. She hummed. “Nani Nani my child, come Sleep, make it sleep and sweetly lul it~” He was suddenly a child in a bed, a woman of golden hair sitting beside him. She clutched his tiny hand in hers, but she would not look at him. Still, she would chase the nightmares away with her touch and song. Until her memory became the nightmare. His eye opened again, unfocused and staring at distant unseen things. “Why?” he asked. “Because I am naught but a failure of a mother.” “Yes... You are...” All grew still, and Marika set her head upon her son’s crown of horns, softly humming. "Come Sleep from the vineyards, take my child from my hands~"

[melancholy-of-nadia]

La La Lost You (m) (teaser) | cyj

title: La La Lost You (m) << one-shot prequel to love u lately >> pairing: choi yeonjun x f. reader feat. bits of yoongi x f. reader, namjoon x f. reader, jimin x f. reader rating/genre: m (18+) ; angst , fluff, smut ; fake dating au; post-high school au, lowkey tatbilb au summary: choi yeonjun was simply just your academic rival, competing for honors at graduation during your senior year. however, when one of your (distant) friends' brothers is getting married, your 3 guy best friends all have dates to the event except you. in order not to feel like a loser, you decide to call up the only other tolerable male you know: Yeonjun, to be your fake date. what will happen when a childish fake date scheme actually ends up turning into your first real relationship lasting an entire summer. it may ultimately.. not end well note: i KNOW i have yet to finish Love U Lately, but i wanted to present this prequel idea to you guys!! i know many of y'all may not be a txt moa, but this one shot will definitely add a lot more insight on previous events and character insight to other bts characters in LUL that don't get much of a spotlight note 2: you do not have to read LUL to understand this fic. honestly might be better if you haven't read it! it will heavily focused on the mentioned previous relationship reader had with yeonjun before starting college and well as the perspectives of yoonminjoon and their attitudes towards it as they were still struggling with their romantic feelings for reader warnings: language, sexual innuendo mentions, maybe some smut, underage drinking, yeonjun has a band, soobin appearance, jungkook has a small crush on reader, halsey shows up!, yoonminjoon being jealous and overprotective, typical things that happen in a summer romance, bonfire party, eventual breakup smut warnings: tba drop date: spring 2024 word count: 15k (projected)

"Look, Choi, I need you to-"

"Need me? Sounds kinda erotic." The taller boy chuckles, and your face scowls, turning a heavy shade of red.

"Huh? You're gross! As if I would EVER do anything trashy with you!" You cross your arms, feeling impatient. Jimin should be here any minute from his last class across campus so you can both go home together. This isn't gonna work, and you don't have any more time for this. "You know what, never mind. I don't even know why I bothered to think of asking you. I should've asked Mark instead." You turn around, deciding to walk away from the situation. You'll take the L! You'll go to Seokjin's dumb brother's wedding by yourself like the loser you are while everyone else has dates.

"Hey, wait!" Yeonjun pulls your arm toward him, making you turn back around. "Alright. Fine, princess, I'm listening. What is it?" He looks at you, finally with sincerity in his eyes.

God, I guess if he actually wants to listen, then you'll say it. What could go wrong?

You tiptoe and lean in close to his ear, catching Yeonjun slightly off guard. "Okay. I need you to be my fake date to my friend's brother's wedding."

Yeonjun blinks repeated, processing the request. After realizing he was frozen, he immediately goes back to his usual expression and smirks. "Well, well, well. Looks like someone couldn't resist the charm of Choi Yeonjun after all."

You roll your eyes, "Hell no. Please, I'd rather dance with a cactus."

He raises an eyebrow, "You sure about that? Cacti can be quite prickly, you know."

You huff, "Just shut up and play along. I need you to act like a decent human being for one evening. You owe me anyways., remember?"

Yeonjun smirks again, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Decent human being? That's a stretch," he grins, clearly enjoying this. "But sure, why not? It's not every day someone gets to be in the presence of greatness."

You scoff, shaking your head, "Greatness? Please. Just don't embarrass me, okay?"

Yeonjun's grin widens, "No promises, sweetheart. But I'll do my best. After all, I owe you."

"Yeah, yeah. Just be ready to suffer through a night of pretending to like me," you retort with a wry smile.

"Oh, the sacrifices I make for you," he replies, sarcasm dripping from every word.

As you walk away, hoping to meet jimin halfway (where the hell is he?) you can't help but mutter under your breath, "This is gonna be a disaster."

Yeonjun's laughter follows you from a very short distance, "Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea."

➸ let me know what you think OR join the taglist! ➸ love u lately series masterlist

[dia-souls]

Diabolik lovers Angel and Devil Story [ Chapter 17 ]

Chapter 17: She Was Innocent

He tortured an innocent girl and ignored her pure love. This devil never knew about the innocence of his goddess, but he always felt guilty. He wishes to be freed from this feeling of guilt and longing.

Guilt tortures him every day. He doesn't know the truth and is lost in a misunderstanding. But he still feels guilty. Understanding the truth may be very bitter for him, but this truth can save him from his dark heart and give him love and hope once again.

_The Mukami brothers are going to their mansion with Riko.

Azusa: Riko-san, if it's..... hard for you..... to walk, I can...... help you.

Riko: No thanks. I don't need your help....... Oh....!

Yuma: Hey, what's your problem?

Riko: You said your brother tortured Yui-san. My body hurts a lot because he hit me like that. I wonder how much did he hurt Yui-san?

Azusa: I don't..... want to.... hurt you, but..... yes. Our brother...... lost his mind..... after that misunderstanding..... and severely..... hurt Eve.

Kou: Poor M-Neko-chan. I remember she screamed and cried so much that she could not speak for a week.

Riko: Oh my God..... poor girl.

Azusa: I am really..... sorry that..... we had to..... tell you...... these sad events. We knew...... that you care...... about Eve, so we had...... to make you....... trust us and...... help our brother.

Riko: I say again, I won't do this for your brother. Everything I do is only for the girl I love, not that monster boy.

Yuma: Hey, I think we told ya not to call our brother a monster.

Riko: I wonder how Yui-san fell in love with this cruel boy.

Azusa: You should...... ask how...... Ruki fell in love....... with Yui-san.

Riko: .....?

Azusa: Our brother....... is very cold. We never...... expected to...... find a girl who...... could charm him.

Kou: That's right, but M-Neko-chan is really different from other girls. Although it's hard to say, M-Neko-chan's behavior and kindness attract even me. I really love her more than all my fangirls.

Yuma: It's very funny, but I.... ummmm.... I'm kind of like her too. She is very hardworking and always helped me in the garden. She is really different from other girls. She is very special.

Azusa: Fufu... it seems that...... everyone is attracted....... by Eve's kindness.

Riko: That's right.

Azusa: What?

Riko: You are right, Azusa-kun. It seems that everyone is attracted by the kindness and golden heart of that girl. She is really beautiful and kind. I am very jealous of your brother.

Kou: Why are you jealous?

Riko: I'm jealous that he was able to win Yui's heart, but I couldn't. But he lost a heavenly blessing with his foolish actions.

Azusa: That's why....... we are taking...... you to him. Tell Ruki....... all the stories...... you told us. Maybe he..... will come to....... his senses and...... realize what...... a big mistake...... he made.

Riko: Big mistake... This is not a mistake. This is a sin. (Yui, my dear. I may not be able to reach you, but I promise to get you out of this hell because I love you so much.)

*TIMESKIP*

_Ruki is watching the moon on the balcony of his room. A gentle breeze blows and brings a familiar lullaby to Ruki's ears.

????: Lala Lala Lala...... Lala Lala Lala..... Oh my beautiful moon, take my prayers to him so that he won't have nightmares anymore.

Ruki: (Nightmare?)

_Ruki raises his head and looks at the moon.

Ruki: Did she ask you to convey her lullaby to me so that I don't have nightmares at night? Who is this girl really? Why does she have such a big heart? I can't understand it.

_Ruki looks at the moon for a short time.

Ruki: Haha.... I think I'm going crazy. Why am I talking to the moon?

_Ruki remembers Yui by saying this.

*flashback*

Yui: Even if I am alone, you still listen to me. I can sing my lullaby to you because you listen to me. You don't punish me and you don't make fun of me for wanting freedom.

*End of flashback*

Ruki: ...... I see. She always talked to you and sang her lullaby to you. Because unlike me, you listened to her words.

*knock knock*

Ruki: .....! Yes?

Azusa: Ruki, this is..... me. I have to..... talk to you.

Ruki: Not now, Azusa. Get out of here.

*knock knock*

Ruki: Azusa, aren't you listening to me? I told you not now. Leave me alone.

*knock knock*

Ruki: Tsk. AZUSA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_Ruki angrily goes to the door of his room and opens it.

*Creeeak*

Ruki: AZUSA!!!!!!! Why don't you listen to me? I told you to leave here.

Azusa: I'm sorry....... Ruki. But I have...... to talk..... to you.

Ruki: Not now.

Azusa: Right now.

Ruki: AZUSA!!!!!!!!!!

_Ruki angrily grabs Azusa's collar.

Azusa: .......! Ruki......???!!!

Ruki: ......! Oh..... I..... I'm sorry, Azusa.

_Ruki releases Azusa's collar.

*Rustle Rustle*

Azusa: Ruki-kun...... what's..... wrong..... with you?

Ruki: Azusa, just leave me..... please.

Azusa: No.

Ruki: .....Huh?

Azusa: I said no. I will not...... leave here. I will...... not leave....... until you listen...... to me.

Ruki: Azusa, do you know what you are doing?

Azusa: I have to...... ask you this...... question, Ruki. What are...... you really...... doing to yourself? Please look...... at yourself. You are...... not a...... former Ruki. This Ruki is...... not my brother. You are....... completely....... different now. Someone gets...... angry quickly and....... wants to beat....... everyone and..... shout at them.

Ruki: Azusa, I'm really sorry for yelling at you, but I need to be alone now.

Azusa: No Ruki. You have....... been alone...... enough. Now you...... have to...... come out of loneliness, you have....... to talk to me. Talk to...... us, your brothers.

Ruki: ......!

Azusa: Ruki, we want...... to help you. There is..... an issue that..... you should be..... aware of.

Ruki: What are you talking about?

Azusa: I can't tell...... you. But someone...... else can do it.

Ruki: Who?

Azusa: He is waiting...... for you in...... the living room now. Let's go...... Ruki. You have..... to talk to...... him.

Ruki: Who is he?

Azusa: come and....... see for..... yourself.

Ruki: Hah... ok.

_Ruki and Azusa walk away from his room and go to the living room.

*TIMESKIP*

_Ruki and Azusa enter the living room where their brothers and Riko are waiting for them. Ruki is shocked to see Riko.

Ruki: .......!!!!! What are you doing here????

Azusa: Ruki, please...... calm down. There is....... something you...... need to talk..... about with Riko-san.

Ruki: What's the matter? There is nothing here that I need to know about.

_Ruki angrily goes towards Riko and grabs his collar.

Ruki: There is no truth here except the betrayal of that lewd and stupid girl.

Riko: Shut up. You have no right to call her that way.

Ruki: Hahaha... really? Well, see how I call that girl whatever I want. How dare you enter my house, you bastard?

Riko: Poor girl. I can't believe she lived with a monster like you all this time.

Ruki: What did you tell me? I will make you regret.

_Ruki tries to beat Riko and Azusa's voice stops him.

Azusa: RUKI STOP!!!!!!

Ruki: ......!

Azusa: Ruki, please..... stop. Please.... I beg..... you to calm..... down.

Ruki: Why Azusa? Why are you supporting this boy?

Kou: Azusa is right, Ruki, please stop it.

Ruki: Kou?????

Yuma: Yes, if ya don't finish it right now, we will forcibly calm ya down.

Ruki: What? Yuma? Why are you all supporting this boy? What is the matter? Do you have any idea of this bastard is the one who took her from me?

Riko: Who did I take from you? Yui-san? Let me ask you a question. Was that girl your property that I want to take her from you?

_Hearing this, Ruki calms down and lets go of Riko's collar.

Ruki: ......

Riko: That girl is not your property. She is a free girl and has the right to decide for her own life.

Ruki: Get out of my house.

Riko: I'm leaving here. But after I clarified the truth for you.

Ruki: The only truth here is that that incompetent girl betrayed me. Because of a fool like you. Hurry up and get out of here.

Riko: Haahh.....Poor Yui-san. She is being reprimanded for not committing a sin. It really bothers me that, that poor girl tried to do a good deed to make someone she loves happy, but this misunderstanding happened and sent her to this hell.

Ruki: What do you mean?

Riko: Ruki-san. Let me tell you, you know nothing. You punished that poor girl for a sin she did not commit at all. That's why you feel guilty and constantly fight with yourself and your feelings because you know something went wrong.

Ruki: .......

Riko: Let me show you something.

_Riko checks inside his bag.

*Rustle Rustle*

Riko: I found it.

_Riko pulls out a necklace from his bag and hands it to Ruki.

Ruki: This.....

Riko: This is the same necklace that you took from Yui's neck that night and broke it. Because you thought that I gave her this necklace as a gift, and of course I must say that you were absolutely right.

Ruki: ..... you.......

Riko: But before that, let me ask you a question. Have you ever given her anything? Or did you try to make her forget her sadness and smile for once?

Ruki: ......

Riko: It is obvious that you have never done this before. Because you have never seen it through the eyes of a person who has feelings. You saw her as a tool or rather as a livestock.

Ruki: .....

Riko: But I wasn't like that. I loved that girl from the bottom of my heart and tried to make her happy with a gift to see her smile. I gave her this necklace. Pink emerald stone with sun symbol meaning strong and brave are exactly the qualities that describe Yui.

_Saying this, Riko looks at the necklace with a soft smile.

Riko: But I was really unlucky because she was in love with someone else.

Ruki: What?

Riko: Ruki-san, when is your birthday?

Ruki: What does this have to do with you?

Riko: It has nothing to do with me, but apparently it was very important to Yui-san. What date is it?

Ruki: April 24th.

Riko: Hmmm... that means exactly one more week. You have never given her any gift, but that poor girl tried to surprise you with a very expensive gift.

Ruki: What do you mean?

Riko: Ruki-san, all your misunderstandings are here. Yui went shopping with me three weeks ago. But she didn't go to the market to buy for me. She went shopping for you. She had saved all her money to buy you a nice gift because she wanted to surprise you on your birthday.

Ruki: .......! You.... You.... You are lying.

Riko: So you think I'm lying. So, you better take a look at this.

_Riko checks his bag again.

*Rustle Rustle*

Riko: Take a look at this.

_Riko gives Ruki a blue emerald necklace with angel wings.

Ruki: This......

Riko: This is the gift that Yui bought for you that night.

Ruki: Angel wings?

Riko: That's how Yui described you. An angel. An angel who takes care of his family with all his heart. No matter what danger threatens him, he always takes care of his family and does not allow anything bad to happen to them.

Ruki: .......

Riko: I found out that night that Yui is in love with someone else. That's why I wanted to say goodbye to her with a kiss that you.......

Ruki: What did I do?

Riko: Ruki-san? you are.....

Ruki: .... Hah.... Kuh..... *Sob*..... Yui.... Yui.... What did I do?

Riko: ......!

Azusa: ......!

Kou: .....!

Yuma: .....! Ruki, are ya crying?

The truth is bitter. So bitter that it can make the devil cry and so bright that it can pull him out of his dark heart. This truth saved him to see pure and love again.

Upon realizing this truth, Ruki cannot stop his tears. He remembers his beautiful goddess how she sings her lullabies. He remembers how he tortured an innocent girl. Yui's cries and pleas are heard in his ears, making him cry more and more.

Ruki: Yui .....*Sob* ..... Kuh.... My Yui.... My angel...... What did I do?

Azusa: Ruki-kun, please..... calm down.

Ruki: How can I be calm when I lost the most valuable person in my life? I lost her. I lost my dear Yui. I lost my beautiful angel ......*sob*.....

Kou: Ruki.....

Ruki: Hah... you're right, Riko....

Riko: ......

Ruki: I really am a monster. I didn't even listen to her words and tortured her for a sin she didn't commit.

Riko: Ruki-san..... I......

Ruki: You don't have to say anything. I know I am a monster. Or rather, I am a devil. She thought wrong about me. I'm not a real angel. I can never be. The only one who can be an angel is Yui, not me. The best name for me is devil.

Riko: Ruki-san, remember that girl considers you an angel. An angel who takes care of his family at any cost.

Ruki: Care? Haha..... I handed her over to a very powerful king who is going to exploit that poor girl for his own personal gain. I never took care of her.

Azusa: Ruki-kun, then..... go and...... save her.

Ruki: ....!

Yuma: He's right, we're going to save her.

Kou: She knows us as her family, so we will go as her family to save her.

Ruki: You guys......

Azusa: Don't worry.... Ruki... you are.... not alone.

monologue:

Her pleasant voice calls me to help her.

I want you to bring back my beautiful angel so I can see her bright smile again.

Imagining her sweet smile, the light of hope shines in my heart again.

Yui, my beautiful angel, I will never leave you.

I promise you this time.

I promise to take care of you at any cost.

Because you are the only girl I want to give my love to.

Because you are my beautiful angel.

Because I love you, my angel.

[thevaudevilledemon]

Unfinished Duck story #2 - This Time... IN SPAAAACE!

Yeah so... I have a lot of ideas for stories, but never end up finishing them, I’m thinking about talking to my doctor about ADD meds or something. Anyway, here is the duck fanfiction? AU? where the cousins are spacemen. Enjoy, or don’t... I dunno, I never finished this.

"DUCK COUSINS SPACEMEN FOR HIRE"

The sign said no more, that was all that was written on it in big red block lettering. From looking at their office, you would think that was all they could afford. Their office was in the lower tier of the colony. This was the poorman's tier, where the desperate live. Not that the Duck cousins were desperate. Donald was the nephew of Scrooge McDuck, the man who owned half of the colony and collects dues from the other half. Fethry had a relative in the Resource Gathering Squad, the team that run from the space colony on the Moon to the resource farming sectors back on Earth. Gladstone was the odd duck out here, but he had his amazing luck to keep him satisfied. If all three of them wanted to, they could be given better accommodations in the top tier of the colony. Donald never wanted to live amongst the top tiers, he would be content in the mid-tier with his sister and her three kids. He'd be happy in the upper tier with his girlfriend, a graphic designer by name of Daisy, but he would be extra happy in the Farming sector on Earth with his grandmother and other cousin. Fethry was a simple man with a simple mind, he was happy wherever as long as others were happy around him. Gladstone simply takes what he gets. Why they decided to go into a line of work, not even they could tell you. Especially since they spent most of their days sleeping in their office. It was a gross yellow-sepia and pea green colour scheme with dim lighting that flickered constantly and was always on the edge of burning out completely, papers all over the floor, despite nothing being on them but some coffee stains and footprints, and the walls looked like plastic computer casings that have been exposed to light and heat for too long. It more seemed like they just came here to nap the day away rather than work, but they only napped so long because work was slow. Donald and Fethry kept up with their space training regularly, Donald more willing than Fethry, who lost interest in space travel ages ago, but Donald and Gladstone keep convincing him that having the training done was better than not. After all, licensed spacemen do get better unemployment pay, and considering Fethry's roommate, Gloria, barely made enough money with her job, Fethry tended to agree. Gladstone was less of a traveler and more of a coordinator, and even then not so much. Gladstone studied for the job he was meant to do, but many would say it was out of boredom, including him, though he would never admit that he was genuinely interested in the topic. Gladstone mostly knew which buttons to press out of sheer luck, and if he happened to press the wrong button, it worked out in his favour anyway. He remembers one time in a simulator he was docking a ship that had lost thrust control. As the simulated ship drew nearer, Gladstone had a moment of panic and pressed the button marked "Distance" rather than the one marked "Ease". However, it was found that hitting "Distance" actually was able to bring the ship to safe landing speeds, so he passed the test regardless. Funny enough, Gladstone was reading about this in a book. He found he couldn't sleep, so he picked up a book to ward off boredom (see also keep up to date with his interest) and the first chapter was about using the "Distance" ray to aid docking ships which have lost thrust control. It named Gladstone was one of the discoverers of this process, which Gladstone couldn't help but find amusing, his good luck helped him discover something by accident. He was silently reading along the book, Donald had fallen asleep in his chair and Fethry was curled up by a dusty filing cabinet. The sounds of their snoring became white noise to Gladstone, lulling him into a strange sense of serenity, uneasy peace that remained uninterrupted, until the door slammed open and the three cousins shot up with surprise. "GAK!" they all shouted. "There ye three are, what's gotten into ye? I've been callen for hours now!" Scrooge McDuck began scolding the three. "Uncle Scrooge!' Donald began in surprise, he was face down on the ground with his legs laying on top of the desk, 'Our phone has been disconnected for ages, we haven't been able to pay the bill." "Than why not answer the phones I gave ye?" Scrooge asked impatiently. "You asked us to turn those off after that mission that took us out of your plan boundary." Gladstone chimed in, he was absent-mindedly looking around for a bookmark. Scrooge opened his mouth to say something than swiped his fist through the air, "Agh’ He grunted, ‘Regardless, I have an urgent mission for the three of ye!" "Count us out!" Donald growled. Gladstone, having found a bookmark and placed it in his book was at this point fully attent to the conversation. "I agree, last mission you had us on ended up being longer, harder and more dangerous than you promised." Fethry chimed in, "We still haven't gotten the bonus you said you'd give us either." "Bonuses! Bonuses! Is that all ye want? A lousy, bonus? When I was a young lad-" "You worked for what you earned and earned what you worked for." Donald finished with a grumpily-sarcastic tone. "You'd be wise to keep quiet nephew!' Scrooge retorted, 'And as for your concerns Gladstone, I'll have you know that the job you three had was one of the safest jobs in the entire fleet." "Safe for specially trained operatives,' Gladstone retorted, 'Uncle Scrooge, we have done the training to work on and take control of space vessels, we did not have the training to deal with those aliens bursting out of chests, nor the ones that ate the ships cats, nor the weird ones that were terrorizing that jaundice colony... Summerplain I think  it was?" "So unless you can promise on three quarters of your wealth this mission will be as safe as you claim, we won't take it." Donald seemed to have become angrier at the memory of the chest-bursting, cat eating, jaundice terrorizing aliens, Fethry was almost frozen with fear at the memory. Scrooge growled. "Hmph, I cannae promise you that, but if it looks dangerous for you I'll let you come back home and give you your base pay." The cousins looked at each other, then Gladstone piped up. "What is the job?" "One of my ships has been found derelict, it's one of the debris processing ships, no crew, no fuel, just floating through space." "So you want us to check it out, right?" Donald interrogated. "Primarily, if it looks safe I'd like you three to return the ship, and do what you can to clean it before it gets here, if possible." The three cousins looked at each other again, they felt unsure, but the knowledge of there being no lifeforms aboard the ship meant that whatever destroyed the ship was gone, hopefully.

[dispatches-from-the-lorecord]

Leo and Pepe have the sweetest brotherly relationship, and Iqarus is the last person Arceus should have made immortal

[February 5 2023]

{Popia140:}

Writing the script for another Ultra comic, the scene after Pepe and Cynthia defeat Lum and the brothers reunite and it’s nice to put in a few feelsy scenes to the Trollkitten original :StarsWeep:

{Trollkitten:}

I love this

{Popia140:}

Thank you :BeePog:

{Trollkitten:}

I love seeing what I would consider one of my favorite TPP works for one of my favorite TPP runs get some more love from another lorewriter

Ultra really has everything I love about TPP. Character development, weird reality-bending shenanigans, a fantastic villain, unearthly creatures from beyond the pale, and interesting ties to other runs

{Popia140:}

I guess I just really liked the gentleness of Pepe’s character, and still wanted to put some of his old sensitivity here, considering the stress he’s been in during the run

And also soft Leo??!! 👀

{Trollkitten:}

Yeah

He may have been decapitated, but he hasn't lost his head

{Haji:}

Yeah :tppAYAYA:

On that note, anyone else find it funny "Leo" ended up being the short name and not "Leon"?

{Trollkitten:}

...I guess that is kind of funny

Because if it had been Leon...

Then when Sword happened and we just happened to have a Champion Leon who just happened to have a little brother...

:LUL:

All things considered, I think it was for the best. Pepe and Napoleon have had enough adventures for a while, they don't need Eternatus on top of that

{Haji:}

Yeah

{Trollkitten:}

Although I can imagine one of them saying, "Great. That's, what, our THIRD planet-eating eldritch abomination in the past five years?"

{Haji:}

Now I'm laughing to remember that joke I made about Leo, Pepe, and D being told Icarus was their great-great-something-or-rather and being confused. In actuality, it was Leon, Hop, and Iris and explains so much about the champ's perceived invincibility :Kappa:

{Popia140:}

That’s a pretty good explanation!

{Trollkitten:}

There was some lore back when we did Conquest for the first time that Napoleon and D were descendants of the ancient warlord Abin the Third (Pepe didn't exist back then), which made them distantly related to Bill and Alice

I wonder if Iquarus's 'invincibility' was more a gift or a curse. Given how Iquarus had the self-preservation instincts of a masochistic lemming, it was likely a little of both

{Mitzi:}

it's less 'invincibility' and more 'fence horse refuses to deal with iqarus's family until forced to' :Kappa:

the horse would foist this off on yveltal/plume/ho-oh/the death god of your choice, but a side-effect of its deal with iqarus is that it has to deal with his descendants until his genes work out of the gene pool :Kappa:

... actually that'd make a fairly significant chunk of the human population invincible surprisingly fast

{Trollkitten:}

That could explain why so many of our Hosts can walk into walls for days on end and not sleep for a moment of it

And how humans even survive in a world full of things like Scyther and Hydreigon

{Mitzi:}

lore discussion question: who did iqarus make babies with :Kappa:

{Newbie:}

akari? :Kappa:

the idea of Terra being his descendant is funny to me so i kinda wanna go with that

{Mitzi:}

'everyone in the tppverse is invincible because of an extremely ill-considered deal god made that one time'

{Newbie:}

immortality is inheritable? 🤔

{Mitzi:}

well, The Deal arceus made with iqarus must be, to an extent, if leon is supernaturally invulnerable

{Haji:}

I personally don't think so, but those descended of an immortal tend to have some weird side effects 😂

{Trollkitten:}

I don't even know why Arceus chose Iquarus to begin with

Maybe he figured no one would miss that idiot

{Newbie:}

or Iqarus did something in a past life and Arceus decided to make him its errand boy in retaliation or something

{Trollkitten:}

Perhaps Iquarus died the first time he did something stupid and Arceus reached out to him in the afterlife for a deal: "You do this for me, and I'll ensure you live to a ripe old age"

Arceus is still slapping himself in the face for thinking that was a good idea

He really should have asked Iquarus how he died to begin with before evaluating whether or not he could be trusted with a matter of this magnitude

Iquarus probably tried to cross the street without looking both ways (or at all)

{Mitzi:}

those trams, bro

{Haji:}

-cackles-ICARUS GOT LITERALLY ISAKEI'D

Truck-kun said hi

{Newbie:}

i was just about to say—

{Mitzi:}

more like train-kun in this period. possibly tram-kun

{Trollkitten:}

And created a major time paradox because his passing down the gift/curse to his descendants ironically caused the version of him born in the new timeline to be sturdy enough to survive the incident

{Haji:}

Probably

{Mitzi:}

... would not surprise me if iqarus managed to grandfather paradox himself

the fun way, as opposed to the murder way

{Trollkitten:}

Haha yep

{Sol:}

iqarus is actually elfilis from kirby, getting hit by a kirby truck sent him to the pokemon dimension :DBStyle:

[benefits1986]

yassesss

When the yes comes after a legit "akala mo" no, that's magic.

Have not been shitting out here lately because I'm still trying to contain one of the best YES I got this year. Chenen! Answered prayer #1, DONE. Opaqqqqq ol ye f8ful vibes because that means, 'yung simbang gabi, puwedeng ibang wish 'pag na-complete 'yung 9 mornings with feelings.

The YES came nonchalantly last weekend over my simple pa-HBD sa kapatid ko na ka-bday ang asawa niya. LELS. While I wanna reveal this bit, I'll put it off kasi it's not my story to tell since nga 'di naman 'to prayer for me. HIHIHI. Siguro, badly put, this is a birthday pa-surprise ng kaitaasan sa kapatid ko saka sa asawa niya.

Why do I share this? Proof of concept that totoo pa rin talaga ang isa sa mga faves kong pa-passage: Walk by faith, not by sight. And patunay din 'to na even when mother dragon, the OG taga-pray ng matitendeng intentions for a crazy fam ay expired na, kaya na namin. I joked dad nga na ang galing niya mag-pray. HAHAHAHAHA.

Gah. As a mainipin and madali ma-bore na sentient being, sobrang pakak neto. Kasi timebound din 'tong thingggyyy na 'to, kaya naman, prayer #2, ano na? CHZ. Hahahahaha.

Baka YES na rin sagot para maiba naman? HUY. NKKLK. It's actually a crazy intention kasi naman mhiemaaahhh, kadire. 'Yung parang 'di lang come from behind. Parang out of this galaxy na talaga siya. Lampas milky way, ganern. But, wait! There's more. Mag-add ka pa ng plus points kasi naman mhieeemahhh, JIC matupad 'to, choogadoog na talaga me because... abangan.

2024 has been a crazy good year because andaming naganap at hindi naganap. Totoo rin talaga na when the universe hits you really hard with a legit NO, that means some things are not meant for you. Even when you feel like, eto na 'yun... NO e. Periodddtzzz. And looking back, since September is halfway through na, I must say that this year is pivotal from the kaibuturan.

I remember having a "gratitude" list ages ago when I was in a super dark, delulu walang solulu era. So, let's try to unearth this. What am I grateful for apart from the solid YES na YES?

Dad and I healing galing emyyyy together, thanks to biking, kanin with ulam, doggos, him driving me around, atbp

Seeing my brother shape up even when it's not his cup of tea at all

My "isang pindot ka lang" washing machine

Witnessing how my mid babe, Vidi, fighting his advanced stage skin cancer

Feeding Vidi human food na gusto niya after 12 years of restricting him (LOLLOLL)

Accepting the fact that Vidi's days are bonus days, but trying my best to be with him in "YOLO" way

Hirit na baka kaya niya pa ng 5 years pero joke lang 'yun, but, malay mo naman, 'di ba? LELS. LUL.

Pagkarga with feelings ng mga Gen Alpha like E and McQueen. JUSQ. And pagpapatunay na kaya kong kumarga ng bata na kinakakagulat ng madlang people kasi nga, totoo pa rin naman na I fucking hate kids, however...

Vidcall every other week with my soul sis even when super introverts kami since 17 y/o na 'di talaga kami mushy at clingy sa isa't isa. In fact, this year lang namin 'yan ginawa as diesel girlies

Rediscovering food na 'di na siya lasang papel. HUY. Hahahahahahaha.

Back to red hair na akala ko naman jump from mom's legit kakulay hair color since June; but no, sabi ko deep red, then poof, my current color is exactly mom's shade of red hair when she was in her prime. Ending: Ayoko masyado na naman tignan sarili ko sa mirror, pero 'di naman na dahil spiral. More of takot me kasi kamukha ko na naman siya lalo. LAGOTTT. Mag-bait na raw ako. EMMMYYYY.

Found matcha peeps na legit na gusto ng nanapak na matcha. Apaka babaw neto pero basta happy ako diyan kasi usually talaga, coffee peeps ang earthlings. May comparison pa anong level ng matcha ang pinaka vibe, so pushhhh.

Pag-kalma kahit syempre, overthinking is lifer. Though, masasabi ko, may legit progress na ako dito.

Pagpili na iwas-iwas avoidant era kahit syempre, CTRL + ALT + DEL feelings = pak pero ayun nga, because of a reconnection with this ka-thing noon friend, eto na tayo

Biking. Biking. Biking. With a wonky B kahit paminsan lang talaga

Accepting this aging-defy-gravity-mo-mukha-mo body bit by bit; again, not insecure. Since pa-40 na tayo, nag-iba talaga siya and may bago na akong mission na sana ma-accomplish natin in the name of, slay-vage road to 4.0 kahit munti. Nothing fancy. Lahat natural at walang halong kemikal. KIMMMYYY.

So, what?

Let this be a tiny yet important note that being grateful beats the shit stick's hardest hits. I used to hang onto to this list, but I stopped kasi parang wala namang epekto noon. HAHAHAHAHA. Parang baliw lang ako na choosing to see the light even when my era is dark ages levels with bubonic plague na walang cure. That silent pandemic called "not dealing with grief"... you, bitch. Pero, as I choose to come in peace after 12 years, eto na tayo. Grief is a gift after the curse. And that gift is meant to be shared with people. The worst part of grief is not the permanent and unforgettable loss. The most fucked up part is the shame that I associated with it because all I saw was the irrevocable adios to my mother dragon, my deepest connection, to date. What's even worse than this is that I shut down people, places, and paganaps where I should have allowed grief to transform itself to stories that are super worthwhile. Why? Walang forever, so why bother?

What I'm slowly learning mala-biking with training wheels these days is that... shemay. Kaya ko ba ilapag here? Wait lang. Wait.

Even when forever is but a myth, the deontic truth remains: Time is but a construct, but stories, ought to live on, along with the lessons that make new stories more alive in full color. And that pain is part of a life well-lived by those who fought and those who choose to love. LUH. LUL. Kbye.

PS: Alsoooo, orchestrating 2 events in 2025. Both na personal projects 'to since super duper close ko mga 'to. One of them is in my legit na legit dream destination sa Pinas sa szn na pakak doon kaya naman, good luck and don't fuck it up. Sobrang taas na lalo ng costings ngayon tapos andaming EMYYYY NKKLK fine prints sa contracts. LOL.

[strangecloud]

Thinking about Destiny again. Man, that game's messed up.

I don't think I ever got what the point of it really was beyond "raid lul". I think I got into it around 2018 or so, back during Season of the Drifter and I remember being very confused. The game didn't do a good job explaining what gear I should be targeting or how the loot system even works or why inventory management was so bad.

Maybe I was playing it wrong, but it irked me that I couldn't reliably target gear I wanted to get. In a loot game. My favorite weapon was the Arsenic Bite combat bow and I wanted one with good perks on it. Well, fuck me I guess, because the only way to get it was to happen upon it randomly for some reason.

I did eventually get a really good roll that got Sunsetted when that was a thing. Cool. Luckily I got an even better one, but damn if that didn't feel bad. And that's just the thing, if I can't aspirationally direct myself towards goals, be they gearing, leveling, farming, etc, what even is the point of the game?

I was surprised when people said that the ritual challenges weren't really a big deal because, what the fuck do you mean. That was the only metered way to engage with the game that wasn't a fuckoff lottery, and it STILL WAS a lottery! What else did people do in Destiny all day if it wasn't Strikes and PVP and... well, not Gambit, but something!

Like, genuinely what the fuck. I must have been an idiot or something, but I never understood the point of that game. I have never done a single raid because the dungeons I did on a fireteam were so miserable, and Nightfall champions were so annoying, that I just surmised that the endgame was kinda bad.

So. Endgame bad. Leveling bad. Dailies, bad. How in the world did that game ever get as succesful as it did?

I'm serious! I feel like an insane person thinking back on it. It was always a big nothing burger. Did Bungie sell a whole franchise on potential alone?

[pkmntrainerebee]

Was just thinking about how when I was a teen and I remember seeing a lot of the messaging of "lul woman comes out as bi even though she's with a man she's just doing it for attention" and my southern Baptist repressed ass was like "haha yes silly women"

And I've been taking time to unpack that as a now one of those bisexual women/femmes who is married to a man. And I think honestly the reason why you see it happen, at least from my perspective, is that they finally have had a safe place to explore that side of themselves and those thoughts after getting away from the roots of their upbringing that made them deny any feelings they did have.

My husband has been the most nurturing and encouraging person I've ever met and he's been there through every step of religious deconstruction, my undiagnosed times, and exploring who I am. He doesn't make me feel guilty or weird for having these feelings and he just sees it as part of me. He gives me space to accept myself and accepts me and I think for at least some women/femmes out there it's part of why you see this coming out despite it seeming "unnecessary" or "straight passing." We're just happy that we can finally acknowledge a part of ourselves that has been beaten away for so long.

I don't speak for everyone, but that's at least been my experience, and I feel empathy for others who have had to experience the same or even worse scrutiny.

[eclairia-monarch]

Protector [1] | 聖臣 Sakusa X f!reader

I’m such a simp for these haikyuu men, like, why are they literally so URG!? with how many ideas I have in mind, this is definitely a series from the get-go LUL (yes I'm a twitch frog, join our donut community [ALBSTERZ] for genshin, FFXIV & variety content!)

word count: approx. 2.4k words

summary: Sakusa only wanted to focus on volleyball and had no time for romance, but what would he do if you, his long term crush that he himself didn’t realize, was in grave danger? 

warning: might or might not have typed this after not sleeping for 2 days so... also kinda sad that dummy social is removed from app store *cries* who knows a similar app PLS HELP | also, you cannot tell me this post doesn’t scream Sakusa-

disclaimer: all but the story plot and twitter edit belong to their rightful artist/author.

Haikyuu Masterlist | Haikyuu Series Masterlist

“Omi-san! Pleaseeeee!”

“For the 74th times, no.”

“Wow, talk about cold,” Atsumu laughed, watching as Hinata slumped in defeat after pestering Sakusa for 1 week straight. 

“Nah, talk about rejection,” Bokuto commented, laughing, slipping on his hoodie. 

“I think you mean desperation,” Inunaki added, watching as his opposite hitter trial behind the outside hitter. Meian wanted to sigh into his hands, his eyelids were going crazy trying to stay sane. For the last seven days, the Miyagi boy has been asking the ravenette to fetch you, Kageyama’s younger sister, from the airport. You had been overseas for so long and recently coming home, with Osaka being your stop since you were moving to Kansai.

The thing was, you were okay with taking public transport, but Kageyama was adamant about not letting you do that. Atsumu volunteered eagerly, but was quickly shut down by your brother, saying he was more afraid of the faux blonde being near his sister than letting her go overseas alone. Bokuto would love to fetch you, but he has his entire day booked with interviews and photoshoot on the very day you were set to arrive. The poor owl boy sulked for a few hours, until Hinata relayed the message that you would pay the team a visit to stop his sulking. Hinata, of all people, would love to pick you up from the airport too! 

If he had a freaking car-

Which was why the only one left was Sakusa. 

It wasn’t as if he disliked you, nor did he like you because to be fair, he barely knew you. Honestly, Sakusa didn’t even remember Kageyama having siblings, since his behaviour indicated him being more of an only child. When Hinata listed out all the positive traits about you to convince him, Sakusa only stared at his teammate and wondered if he was getting set up into a blind date or something. But he seriously just wanted to be alone on his off day-

“Just pick and drop us off. I promise, she’s super hygienic! In exchange, 1 month supply of Lysol.”

“Give me the time of her arrival details and the drop-off address,” Sakusa said immediately in reply.

“YOU ARE MY LIFE SAVIOUR!” Hinata exclaimed, and quickly sent the details over to Sakusa in seconds. 

Sakusa rolled his eyes and looked at the message he received. You were set to arrive tomorrow 9:25 am in Kansai International Airport via Japan Airline, and it was a direct flight from Heathrow. Gosh, Sakusa could never do that. Just imagine the amount of germs in that still air for over 12 hours with a bunch of strangers and their god-knows-what bacteria. 

“Oh, and this is the address that [y/n] is headed to!” Hinata smiled, dropping another text to Sakusa so that he can plan his route and its details. The ravenette glanced at it, and saw that the area that you were staying was just a few minutes away from their home base. Well, then planning a proper driving route wasn’t that big of a deal for him now.

“Alright, now that we’ve settled the situation with Hinata’s girlfriend, can we all go home now?” Meian asked with a clap, to which the ginger head retorted that you were just his favourite junior that helped him a lot when he was in Brazil, so this was just a small favour.

“I remember she was quite the cutie back then,” Atsumu mused aloud, “but Tobio-kun refused to let me get her number. Wonder how she’s grown up?” A cheeky smile grew on the faux blonde as he walked out of the locker room with Bokuto, Hinata, and Sakusa.

“She’s super cute, too!” Bokuto added in. He remembered meeting you when he dropped by Fukurodani during their summer training camp after graduation, and met you being mentored by Yachi. It seemed you got along with Kenma and Akaashi due to having similar energy. “You’re lucky you get to see her first, Sakusa! But I’m going to buy her all her favourite snacks, so I’m going to be her number one!”

“That doesn’t make sense, and I don’t care,” Sakusa sighed and made his way to his car. He sanitized his car handle before quickly getting in. He didn’t care about how you viewed him—he highly doubted you even remember him anyway. You two barely interacted aside from polite greetings once or twice during competitions. And it appears you were overseas upon graduating, so you probably met a handful of people that were more interesting.

~~~~

“Thank you, Omi-san! Kageyama said he’ll send you a month’s worth of hand sanitisers,” Hinata informed, and Sakusa nodded.

“Guess it’s fine to do this favour.” 

They soon reached the airport, and after parking his car, the two guys made their way to your arrival gates. It wasn’t a long wait and soon Hinata jumped on his feet multiple times, waving at you. Sakusa looked up as well, and his eyes widened by a fraction. He knew Bokuto called you cute, but right now you were more than that.

You were cute, yes, but your eyes were so beautiful and innocent. With the face mask that you were wearing, it only made your eyes even more prominent and bright. Your outfit was quite tasteful as well. You had a cream turtle-neck along with a pair of skinny jeans, accompanied by a long coat and boots. 

You smiled widely underneath your mask, finally seeing your senior after so long, and net to him was Sakusa. Your heart might have stopped for a second as you realized just how amazing he looked. However, you haven’t forgotten your manners and so you removed your mask to reveal your face.

“Welcome home, [y/n]! Hope your flight was okay?”

“Glad to be home. And yeah, I managed to fly business class so it was tolerable. Thank you for fetching me Hinata, Sakusa-san. I hope it wasn’t too much trouble.”

“No way! Right, Omi-san?” Hinata asked, but he was met with silence. The ginger turned around and stared at Sakusa, which broke the latter from his daydream.

“It’s fine, you stay near our gym anyway, plus I highly doubt Kageyama will let anyone else fetch you,” the ravenette explained, scolding himself for getting distracted by your face. What the hell, he was starting to become weird. He must be staying near Atsumu for far too long.

“Oh, is that so?” You laughed softly at the coincidence, “then I guess we can all hang out.”

Hinata reached over and grabbed your luggage, asking if you were hungry. You easily decipher his hidden message, knowing he must have woken up and left home with an empty tummy. 

“Oh, sooo hungry,” you said teasingly, “where do you guys want to go? My treat, of course. Sakusa-san, I hope this arrangement is okay? I understand if you have other plans for the day, you can just drop me and Hinata off and go about your day?”

Something about this offer you presented made Sakusa a little annoyed, and he shook his head. “It’s fine, we can go grab breakfast together.” 

Together, he liked the sound of that.

“Eyyy, let’s go!” Hinata cheered.

Right, he’s here too...

But because none of you had any idea what to get, the three of you settled for the most basics of basics and headed to Kansai University’s Starbucks to grab a quick bite. On the way, you and Hinata were animatedly catching up; well, more like Hinata asking about your life in Kingston University. 

Could have sworn Bokuto said she was a quiet type. Must be because of Hinata, was what he thought to himself.

Although he wasn’t one for loud noises, he can’t say he hated it when you speak so fondly of your time in school. Still, he felt his stomach churning at the fact that Hinata brought out this side of you. Even in his limited memories of you, none of them gave him the impression of you being so talkative.

He chopped it up to him being hungry and acting differently due to hunger.

“Oh, and I got to see Alisa-san a few months ago, too. How can someone look so good without even trying? I felt like a peasant standing next to her, they were totally judging…!” You gasped, clasping your cheeks as you remembered how much Alisa clung to you whilst people stared, and you were so self-conscious about your appearance.

“Alisa-san is very pretty, but you are, too! I’m sure people were staring because you and Alisa-san looked so good together!” Hinata grinned, and you felt your face heating up at such a compliment. 

“Quit lying! You know they’re just looking at Alisa-san! Anyway!” You tried to change the topic after noticing a certain ravenette stealing glances at them.

To say Sakusa’s eyes narrowed into a slit thinner than a venomous viper was an understatement.

But why?

~~~~

“This place is so nice!! I guess being a popular streamer like Kenma has its perks, huh!” Hinata exclaimed and awed, looking at every corner of your fully furnished house. Thanks to the moving company you hired, they perfectly set up your home as how you detailed and presented in a few documents you sent to them. 

Your new dwelling was in Nukatacho, Higashiosaka. A pleasant 2LDK house in a charming neighbourhood for ¥16,800,000 (≈ USD $130K). Since it was your very first home, it did seem expensive. Initially, this abode was at the bottom of your list because of the price, but Tobio told you to just purchase it, with him paying half of the house as a gift to you. On top of your own income you made as a VTuber, and having your own successful merch line, this house suddenly shot up to your first choice.

“I’m lucky to have my brother’s help with this too,” you laughed as you came down from your bedroom after removing your coat. You opened up your house for invitation to MSBY, stating that they were welcome to visit after their training, since you guys found out that your home was lesser than half an hour drive away from their training gym. 

“Awesome! Atsumu-san and Bokuto-san will love to! I think we better leave so that you can rest up, okay? Just text me if you need anything!” Hinata waved and gave you a hug before removing the house slippers, heading out the door.

“Rest well,” Sakusa did the same and went to his car, ready to send Hinata home and to catch up on his deep cleaning for the month.

Once they left, you mindlessly went to your sofa and plopped down. “...Rest well...” You mumbled the two words spoken to you as Sakusa’s face surfaced in your mind. You bend forward and groaned. You knew he became even more handsome after watching his matches but seeing him in person? Lord you hoped you were not acting weird in his eyes.

You decided not to dwell in things that already happened and went to turn on music from your sound system before going around to inspect your new home. Your family actually came to make sure everything was done correctly, and every aspect of the house was properly furnished but you just wanted to make sure since you were going to live alone now. Your closest kin was Tobio, but with him being in Kodaira, you would have to spent close too ¥16,000 and 5 hours to even visit.

No thanks.

At first your parents asked why stay in Osaka of all places when you could go back to Miyagi. The housings there were bigger and cheaper, plus familiarity isn’t such a bad thing but they should have known Miyagi wasn’t your first choice. It’s not that you had bad memories in your hometown, but you just wanted to move somewhere else. It wasn’t that big of a deal, honestly, but maybe your parents felt somewhat guilty about not having spent enough time with their kids growing up because they were both working hard to provide for three children.

Evening came sooner than you expected after having spent your entire day setting up your office, the only place that was left untouched on your request since you wanted to revamp it. With your work now revolving around online and merchandise, you figured a minimalistic aesthetic would help and thus working on it, wanting it to be a room that doesn’t stress you out no matter how hard you worked; you knew how surroundings would affect your mental state. You were a fast worker, despite getting a few calls in between from your family and friends. 

Your phone rang with the caller ID of Hinata this time and you unknowingly groaned, dropping to the floor ungracefully. You were so tired and hungry but you have no food since you family couldn’t buy any groceries when they dropped down, not when your refrigerator wasn’t sent.

You picked up the call after a few ring, hearing your senior’s energetic voice on the other side. 

“[y/n]! Bokuto ended his photoshoot and was wondering if you wanted to go grab some shabu-shabu together? Atsumu-san can pick you up!”

“Oh no it’s fine! I stay near the train station anyway so just tell me the address and I’ll meet you guys!” You said, slowly getting up from the floor to get ready.

“Awesome! I’ll text you right now!”

You received the address of the restaurant, Kisoji, and noticed that it was also near a train station. You smiled at the convenience , not needing to worry about getting lost.

“We’re meeting in an hour’s time, see you!”

“Got it,” you nodded. After hanging up, you took a quick shower and changed into denim shorts and an oversized turtleneck pullover before making your way out once you made sure all your valuables were stored in your handbag.

The train ride was horrible with the rush hours and you honestly believed packed sardines were not even as pressed up as you were during the entire ride. Maybe you should have ordered a car right instead but you just told yourself that you wanted to experience it once, at least. 

And it was safe to say you hated it so from now on, you were only getting a car ride.

“Ah! It’s [y/n]-chan!” Atsumu was the first time spot you and waved. Aside from the setter, you saw Hinata and Bokuto as well, but Sakusa was nowhere to be seen. Were you disappointed? Just a tad bit, but seeing the rest was just as great. You were definitely going to post about this meeting on twitter just to watch your brother freak out finding it out on twitter.

“Thank you for the food!” You four echoed before digging in and catching up.

Fun fact/trivia:

I actually didn’t see the address of the apartment I chose for [y/n] until I compared it on Google Maps with MSBY’s home base and noticed they were in the same area. It’s complete coincident! So… it's meant to be *Kappa*

If you are interested, this is the house [y/n] is staying in 

2LDK refers to 2 bedrooms, a living room, dining room and a kitchen

Yes [y/n] streams after she kept getting invited to co-op with Kenma and gained a huge fanbase

Kenma, Alisa and Lev promoted the fucccccck out of [y/n]’s channel and she started earning fat stacks in her first year of university

Yes, Tobio freaked out

[shotorozu]

fem!reader who’s usually introverted and reserved, being an affectionate drunk

like she’ll want to give kisses to everyone but particularly katsuki/denki/shinsou (sep)

WARM HUGS!!!!!!!!!!! and more that you’d like to add <333

introverted reader being an affectionate drunk

character(s) : bakugou katsuki, kaminari denki, shinsou hitoshi

legend : [Y/N = your name] aged up because you need to be 21 to drink, f! reader at the request of anon, quirk not mentioned

note(s) : i’m sorry if i don’t write denki properly 🧎 but i tried my best here. anyways— i’ll be editing the ENTIRE blog, and i might even change up the theme. i just want to organize the blog :))

»»————-　♡　————-««

bakugou katsuki

he likes that you’re not too affectionate, well.. with pda anyway. you guys only hold hands in public

and even in private, you’re pretty tamed too

so when former class 1-A take their first drink of alcohol, celebrating their one year anniversary in the hero industry.

bakugou doesn’t really drink, because hello?? someone needs to be sober and take you home. it’s not safe to be at bars alone

he’s kinda shocked to see that when you’re intoxicated, your entire personality takes a 180

though yeah— bakugou isn’t visibly shocked when he sees you drunk

but he is surprised when he sees you starting to cling on him, in public??

yeah. you guys have been together since your second year in highschool. but that doesn’t mean he’s actually seen you like this

he’s groaning from this sudden action, gripping on your shoulders and shaking you— asking you to “get the hell off of him” but your response is to lean further into him NANDJW

katsuki’s very contradictory though, so don’t be mislead by his harsh words that easily.

while his nature is just being brass, and harsh— katsuki bringing you closer to him, enjoying the sudden affection you’re showering him in

his face only bloomed with red when you started peppering kisses on his forearm, but he decides to act smug about it until

“yeah, they’re affectionate. so what, extras?” he says that with a smirk, but his cheeks are crimson

but then you start cuddling onto yaoyorozu, rubbing your cheek against her shoulder, and he’s just there like 🧍‍♂️

that’s when he decides to take you home, because only HE can get your affection >:T

and he’s left surprised when you start kissing him

but he kisses back anyways, despite the strong alcohol in your mouth

“damn Y/N, didn’t know this side of you existed. it’s a good thing i fucking love you”

he doesn’t do anything though. he loves your affection, but he knows you’re just like this when you’re drunk

and he rather get your kisses when you’re sober anyway so 🗿

he makes sure to take off any makeup on your face with a cleansing pad (if you’re wearing any) and dress you in proper sleeping wear.

oh and he’s definitely gonna yell at you the next day, saying things like “you didn’t tell me you were like that when you’re drunk, shitty woman.”

and you’re just like ❓ not remembering anything at all.

kaminari denki

he’s over the moon

he was kinda down at first when he found out you weren’t so affectionate in public

but he gets it because not everyone has physical touch as their love language

so you guys just stick with quick touches and kisses (which is totally better than nothing.)

so you guys are drinking casually on a friday night with the bakusqud,

and you guys are talking— denki’s making you laugh, you and mina are just talking while you guys take in some beer

but then you start to get a little tipsy, which kinda lead you to do the funniest things he’s ever seen

and kaminari’s like “🤠 something to tease Y/N for!”

but he’s immediately silenced when you throw your head down on his lap— giggling as you hold onto his hand

kaminari’s like :00 but he’s also like.. omg.

we’re in public?? this is public affection

he takes this moment to accept the touch, as he’s drunk himself. but he never actually brings it to the next step because he wants you to be aware of your actions

and he doesn’t wanna take advantage of you! he may be drunk but he’s still conscious of himself

so yeah— he’s very surprised though because you’re usually collected with physical affection.

but ugh! mina and the others are teasing him about your sudden change of demeanor, and denki’s like..

“yeah! i didn’t know this side of Y/N existed!” denki says, his hand massaging your temple

but you start chasing after everyone in the bakusquad, starting with mina

and denki’s like “woah there :0” and bakugou’s just begging him to take you home

eventually he does take you home, but he’s kinda laughing his ass off because of the things you’re saying— it’s so different.

he does your skincare, because you’re nearly blacked out. and he can only laugh at your intoxicated reactions

and when you guys are finally relaxing on the bed, he’s cupping your cheeks— wondering the next time he’ll see that side

oh, and he’ll definitely teased you the day after— WITH VIDEO EVIDENCE!

shinsou hitoshi

you and hitoshi prefer staying at home more than going to bars every single weekend

but you were a little agitated from the excessive amount of hero work— so mina invited you to go out and get drinks with your friends!

and you think “hm.. why not. it might make me feel less pissy.” and you decide to go with them for drinks also.. don’t drink too much— especially when it’s a coping mechanism

hitoshi accompanies you because he wants to still be with you, and he ends up going for drinks with the rest

hitoshi drinks a bit, but i headcanon his alcohol tolerance to be VERY high. so even with 4 shots, he’s still very much sober.

so he doesn’t get drunk, not even the slightest bit of tipsy.

and he looks over at you, and he sees that you’re staring to become drunk.

so he slides over to you, asking you if you’re okay, as the good boyfriend he is.

your response was to wrap your arms around his shoulders, burying your face into his arm— hiccuping

hitoshi’s surprised at first. the usually introverted Y/N that steers away from public display of affection

is clinging onto him

he’s fine with the fact that you’re not very big on a lot of physical affection, since he’s not very into a lot of pda too

so you guys just stick to holding hands and resting a hand on your back. but HUGS?? LIKE THIS?? he’s ascending

he immediately regains his composure, grinning and admiring you that signature smile of his— holding onto you with one hand

denki’s just on the sidelines like 👁👁 “they’re hugging!” and he’s just so proud

but he gets concerned for you eventually, since you start wandering around— latching onto midoriya

midoriya’s literally red. but he’s also really apologetic, and shinsou can’t even be mad because you’re literally drunk to the point you don’t know where you’re going.

so shinsou takes you away, walking over to get a cup of water— and handing it to you, rubbing your back as he urges you to drink some water

“i know you’re agitated, kitten. but you had too much to drink.” he tells you calmly— as he assists you with walking, holding your hand as you guys walk home

he takes off your makeup (again, if you’re wearing any) and he finds himself admiring you when you cling onto him like a cute little kitten

then, he plops you on the bed, throwing the covers over you— whispering the sweetest things in your ear

“sleep well, Y/N.”

before he could walk away, you call after him— you sit up as your hand grips on his wrist. “toshiii.”

“what is it?”

“please kiss me.”

can he reject your request? no.

he walks over to you and kisses you, his hand resting on your nape— and he feels exhilrated from the sensation

but he pulls back, “you smell like alcohol still.” he teases

you frown, and go under the covers “good night.” hitoshi can only chuckle by this action.

but he sneaks into bed with you, spooning you— as he luls you to sleep

(he doesn’t go to sleep though, because he’s using this time to be thankful for having the privilege to date you.)

no shinsou, we’re lucky to date you

»»————-　♡　————-««

likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!

i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing

do not plagiarize my work :))

[freakie-deakie]

Lucas // How To: Kill an Idea

i have been really struggling with feeling numb lately and i super projected that onto this character. i really do apologize if it doesn’t make for the most interesting read. i may or may not end up rewriting this when i’m feeling better.

Warnings: emotional numbness and detachment

Masterlist

THIS IS PART 2!!! Read part one here: How To: Hurt My Feelings

Lucas x Reader (angst // 7.3k words); ft. stepbrother!Johnny

The way the lights reflected off the water brought only distant memories of the Han flowing through the city of Seoul and mirroring the life around it. The bustle of the city, the calm of the river banks. The things that you neighbored so long ago.

You could become so lost in the remnants of the past - that you would forget to lose yourself in the readiness of the moment.

You owed the Garonne. After tirelessly looking over you for months on end, you owed her your presence at the very least. How dare you look at her in all of her beauty and only think of another.

She smiled at you nonetheless. The Garonne sat with you one last night and told you how much she would miss you - how much all of Bordeaux would miss you. She told you that the stone buildings, the ones in the alleyway that you cut through every night as you return to your dorm, didn't know what they were going to do without you. She told you that the little birds that had nested outside of your window had practiced a sadder song to sing after you left. She swore that the lights in the city shone brighter than they ever had before when you landed and that they would fade upon your departure.

She made you promise that you would come back to see all of them: the buildings, the birds, and the lights. On your own accord, you promised you would come back to see her.

The Garonne waved you off that night, sending you to bed and wishing you a restful slumber and a safe flight in the morning.

Tired and stiff, you limp out of the terminal with your laptop clutched to your chest and a yawn escaping your lips. You mindlessly followed the crowd of other travelers to baggage claim and patiently waited for your suitcase to be sorted onto the conveyor belt.

"Pardon me, Mademoiselle," a familiar voice reached your ears, "I believe a poor boy has been waiting far too long to see you here."

You spun on your heel, a bright smile suddenly overtaking your features. "Lucas," you call quietly as you envelop him in a tight hug. You had barely moved for sixteen hours straight, but once in his arms, every desire for motion ceased. It seemed that he agreed, as he latched onto you and refused to let go.

"I missed you," he admitted before placing a kiss on the top of your head and moving to grab your bag off the belt.

"I missed you more," you answered softly.

He took your hand and kissed it before leading you through the airport and down to the parking garage where your brother was waiting, leaned up against his car, and dusting the cigarette ashes off of his sleeve.

"Hey there, Miss France," he says as he moves to envelop you in a hug of his own. "How was your flight?"

"It was fine," you answer simply. "Long, but fine."

"Well, you have an hour-long car trip to give us the highlights of France, if you're not too tired. We could stop by a late-night diner too if you're hungry."

You nodded along as you climbed into the car, enjoying the banter after your long trip. But as you rode in the passenger seat home (funny, you thought, that you still called it home), you took in things about the city that you never really appreciated.

The locals that ignored the do-not-cross signs, the billboards that were so shrouded in smog that you could barely read them, the stray cats that freely wandered the city like it was their own personal playground. All the things that you used to neighbor.

And when you got to the bridge that you'd longed to see since you left, the Han welcomed you home with as much love for you as it had six months ago. You made it a point to tell him about the Garonne sometime. You think he would enjoy hearing about her.

"The pastries," you say simply. "It was France; of course the pastries were the best."

Johnny dropped you back at your apartment and your boyfriend opted to stay the night, helping you settle back into the space that you could once again call your own.

Another tenant had contracted your apartment for the time you were away - there were a few more cuts and bruises than you remember leaving, but it was nothing you couldn't patch up. The bed wasn't where you had it, the shower knobs had been replaced, and an empty curtain rod rest stretched along your window seal.

"The stuff you left with us, it's still back at the frat," he chuckles awkwardly.

"That's okay." You offer him a small smile and plop down on one of the only four pieces of stand-alone furniture left in the space, the old black sofa in the same spot it's always been. "At least they didn't take my couch."

"Y/N, darling, I don't know if I would lay on that if I were you."

His words took a moment to register, but when they did your eyes shot open and you were out of your seat comically fast. "Oh God, ew..."

He laughed again and pressed a small kiss to your temple. "Let's take a shower and then we'll figure things out, okay? And you know, you don't have to sleep here tonight. There are no sheets on the bed or anything, so you can-"

You cut him off with a quick kiss and lead him to the bathroom, ready for a warm shower to take away all of your travel pains.

"Not really," you answered honestly, rolling your head to the side to look at your boyfriend. You'd been looking at his ceiling for a while, head resting on his thigh while he played with your hair. It felt nice, you thought, to get a chance to live in your memories - specifically the memories you had left with him here in his room, the ones that always waited for you while you were away. "All of my days in France were spent doing something or another. By myself, with the people that I met. So no, it never really got mundane. I didn't think that kind of life existed for anyone over the age of nine." You let out a small but heavy breath. "I guess I had to experience it for myself to understand."

Lucas doesn't say anything for a moment. Instead, he focuses on gently detangling a knot that his fingers had caught on. Your hair was longer now than it was.

"I'm happy for you," he reassures you. He doesn't quite know what he's reassuring, but he reassures you nonetheless.

"Lucas?" you ask softly.

"Hmm?" he responds, his gruff voice sounding tired.

"What would you have done if I didn't come back?" His finger stop working in your mess of locks and all of his attention is focused on dissecting what you just asked him.

"I don't know what answer you want me to give you," he says smally, glancing down at you before retraining his gaze on the ceiling, its texture nearly lost in the dark.

"There isn't a certain answer I want. I'm just curious."

"I don't understand the question," he almost interrupts, suddenly a bit tenser than he was only moments ago.

"I don't mean anything by it, Lucas. It's not a loaded question." Your soft voice is enough to lul his hand back to its comforting motions. "Would you have gone after me or would you have let me go?"

"I would have gone after you without a second thought. Definitely, I would have."

"I thought about staying you know."

There's a pause, a small silence of thought on both ends.

"Why didn't you," he asks with genuine curiosity.

"It wasn't home. You weren't there."

A wolf whistle follows you into the kitchen the next morning and you feel the need to suppress your groan.

"If I knew you were staying the night, I would have held a cup against the door."

"Oh, gross, Jaehyun," you sneer, turning to jab your elbow into the older boy's side.

"What? Not everyone gets to tour France." You can't help but dramatically roll your eyes and threaten him with a punch.

"Do you want a cup of coffee? I was about to put on a pot."

"Sure," he smiles gratefully. "And you can tell me about Bordeaux while we wait."

"Oh, it was beautiful," you think back as you prepare the grounds. "As the sun was setting, the sky would turn golden. If there were any clouds that evening, they would turn all different shades of pink. The lights over the water - words wouldn't do it justice."

Jaehyun chuckles before yawning out, "Well, that's a first."

"Jung Jaehyun, if you are trying to say that I talk too much-"

"That's not what I'm saying," he defends. "I mean you always have a way with words. It's your thing, ya' know. Words."

You hum, turning back to your task. "I guess I hadn't thought about it that way - at least not for a while."

The door to the kitchen swings open and another boy ungracefully stumbles into the kitchen. Haechan is clad in a plain T-shirt and dark shorts (if you could call them that). His hair is no longer silver; it's now a dusty brown, curling up into the picture of a sandstorm blowing about his head. He looked healthier, or maybe just more mature since you last saw him. He'd filled out a bit, and grown into those long limbs of his.

"Man, what's will all the commotion in here? It's Saturday and- Y/N?" The boy immediately perks up upon seeing you. "Oh my gosh, Y/N! You're back!" He hugs you and sits down at the island beside his older friend, suddenly as energetic as a child on Christmas morning. "Great, because I made a list of pranks we're gonna pull together. Jaehyun, since you're here, I guess you can help us too. Okay, first of all, we're gonna shove a bag of chocolate powder mix down the shower drain. I'd like to make sure that one gets Mark because he blamed me for breaking Johnny's lamp."

There were things you would have to readjust to in Korea. Things that you didn't think would catch you off guard, yet still managed to turn you around every now and again. The wet bath was one of them; you were going to miss your tub. You also suddenly found bowing a bit more strange than you originally had, as well as keeping personal space when you greeted someone altogether. Most prominently, the language barrier that you weren't so sure you'd ever really overcome in your first life in Korea.

Words were suddenly weird to you again. Ideas that could manifest themselves in one language but not another. At times, there were no proper parallels, nor were there ways in which to express everything going on inside your head.

Though you tried your hardest, what little French you learned simply wouldn't translate properly to English, or the English wouldn't translate to Korean, or the Korean to French, or the French to Korean, or the Korean to the English. The words just never came out the way you wanted them to, and in a way, it was like a piece of you fell away from the rest, lost somewhere between all of your different lives.

Lucas noticed how much quieter you seemed since you'd returned.

You made it a point to generally avoid contact with everyone while you were away. You occasionally checked in with them to let them know that you were alive, but other than that had kept your space. You became more dedicated to learning about yourself and how to care for your well-being. You began making decisions of your own, from what you would eat every night and how early you would wake up every morning to what debacles were worth your time and energy. You decided that most of them weren't. You decided that pondering your life was taking years off of it, and that you didn't like to eat snails. You decided that you weren't so bad after all, and for that matter, no one else was either. You decided to live.

"Hey, can I see something on your Instagram real quick?" you asked softly, setting your bowl of fancy ramen on the coffee table in front of you. "I think one of my friends just had a baby and I wanted to see if she's posted any pictures yet."

Without giving it much thought, Lucas hands you his phone and turns back to his meal. "What happened to your Instagram?" he questioned.

"Deleted it," you quip, pulling up your friend's account. He hears you coo before you shove the device back into his hands, urging him to look at the baby. He thought the child, redfaced and wet, looked like an alien, though he'd never tell you that.

"Why'd you delete it?" he pursues.

You simply shrug and cover more of your legs with the blanket that rested on the both of you. "Didn't need it." He gives you an unsatisfied groan, but you can't think of a better answer. It was simple - while you took plenty of photos to document your life, you no longer found it necessary to post them.

"Okay," he tries, "what about your Kakao Story?"

"Deleted."

"So you no longer use Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Skype, Instagram, or Kakao Story? What if someone needs to contact you?"

"I still have Kakao and Discord."

"Okay, what about my posts? Or your other friends'?"

"If they have something to tell me, they will," you sip your hot tea and lean into his side.

"It’s like she doesn't want to talk to me. She doesn't want to talk to anyone," groans Lucas as he sprawls out on Mark's bed. "She doesn't talk nearly as much as she used to."

Mark's hand didn't stop relaying notes to his journal as he talked with Lucas, translating as many of his lyrical ideas onto paper as he could keep up with.

"She's not the same person she used to be, Lucas."

Lucas had trouble making sense of it, why Mark sounded so sure about that. It almost hurt his pride that one of his roommates was telling him something about you, his girlfriend.

"Who is?" Lucas rubs his eyes. "We've all grown up since then."

Mark's hand halts. "Since then?"

"Since-" he sighs. "Ya' know, since... Since we..."

"Don't hurt yourself," Mark chuckles. "Maybe," he offers, "this chapter of your life is written in a different style. Did you even notice? That your life hasn't been going the same since she got back?"

"Of course it's not the same," the elder defends. "It's infinitely better."

"Spare me. Look, I'm just saying, the less she talks, the more dialog you're putting in your own book. And I think it's better this way. I mean, I can't tell you how to write your life, but I can honestly say I think you're doing better now than you were before. You started using your words instead of acting on impulse. That's not easy, man. Words are hard."

Words: your staple, your foundation, your life. They were your nothing anymore.

And Lucas didn't know how to understand.

He tried not to take it personally, but soon you fell into almost complete silence both with him and his friends. When you joined them for a Smash Bros competition, you didn't exclaim your victories nor mourn your defeats. When you dressed, you didn't ask for his opinions on the color of your lipstick nor the type of heel you should wear. When you laid in bed with him and watched his fan turn above your heads, you refused to humor his desire to hear your voice. And he took the fault upon himself.

He felt guilty asking anything of you anymore because you never opened your mouth to ask for favors in return.

"Y/N, will you come cuddle with me?" he calls with as much endearment as he can shove into his tone.

This was for your own good, he reminded himself.

You hadn't watched the news in months, and he knew that. You, ever the stickler for meaningful conversation, had devoted large portions of your time to staying up to date before. As of late, however, you preferred "to watch the world crash and burn around you from a first-person point-of-view rather than a third-person point-of-view."

He hoped that sitting you down to watch the news for a while would spark a fire in your opinionated soul. So imagine his reaction when you crawled into his arms and fell asleep, paying absolutely no mind to the colors or words on the screen.

His next plan was to plant your favorite novel in the hands of your favorite philosopher.

This was for your own good, he reminded himself.

He shoved the book into Doyoung's hands with a stern "fix her." Needless to say, Doyoung had the book read within a couple of days and Lucas invited you over as soon as his friend flipped through the pages for the final time.

"A piece of modern art," he suggests. "A sorrow lost to the sands of time and a meaning forgotten by society."

Lucas watches in amazement as you sit and nod along to everything that Doyoung says. You didn't interject your ideas even once. You just listened.

He was running out of ideas. So his last plot was his last hope that there may be a bit of yourself left inside of you. He would take you on a date - the best date you've ever been on - and thrust so much happiness and gratefulness onto you that you wouldn't be able to contain it so silently. He knew it was a dirty trick, but how else was he to make sure that you were okay if you would no longer tell him anything about yourself.

This was for your own good, he reminded himself.

Really, he should have asked you out first, before he came barging into your apartment (tidier than he'd ever seen it before and reeking of cleaner) with a bundle of flowers and demanding your attention for the evening.

Surprise.

He was about to push open the door to your bedroom when he heard a soft sniffle from inside. His eyes widened and his shoulders fell. His heart broke when he heard a small sob fall from your lips.

He peeked inside. It was dark, mind the laptop that sat on your desk and illuminating your shaking form. You laid your head on one arm and used your other hand to rake through your stringy hair. Your glasses had been tossed to the shadowy void and your cheeks were wet and sticky.

The header of your philosophy paper stared you down as you unraveled before it. The rest of the blank page was absolutely daunting. Your acceptance of the world around you had drained away your ability to have a coherent cognitive thought about it, forget about writing one.

To some extent, you missed the days when you were confident in your ability to build empires out of words. Now, you couldn't even build a ten-page paper, especially not by 11:59 pm that night.

To a greater extreme, you couldn't understand why you would want to return to your opinionated ways or your charismatic skills that abused fact until it bent to your will. What purpose did fact or, more importantly, idea have anymore, other than to aid your ability to charm others to abide by your purpose?

It felt wrong to write a definitive philosophical thesis, especially when you couldn't bring yourself to definitively believe in anything particular.

"Y/N," you jumped at the sound of your own name and quickly wiped your cheeks with the back of your sleeves, sitting up straighter and making yourself more presentable before you turned around to face him. Lucas saw it all. He watched you put your mask back on right before his eyes, and he realized that you were hurting in ways that he couldn't see until now.

"Lucas," you cursed your shaky voice. "What's up? Why are you here?"

He takes a few quiet steps until he's standing before you and kneels to look into your eyes. There are things that he wants to say, 'you're scaring me' being the most prominent, but he knows he should choose his words more carefully.

"I want to know what's going on. I want to help." He slips his hands into your own and rests them on your knees.

"I just don't think you can," you answer simply.

"Can you tell me what's the matter?"

You shake your head and the tears come rushing back to your eyes. "I don't know what's the matter." It's honest. You don't know why your head can't wrap around your assignments, or your conversations, or your own thoughts as of late.

All that time spent with yourself taught you how to understand yourself and your own needs. You feel that you have exchanged your understanding of the world around you for a simpler version of life. Did that make you selfish? You didn't know.

All Lucas could do was watch you as you fell back into your frustrations. It didn't take long before your brows were knitted back together, your nose was running, and your eyes had glazed over as you retreated back inside of yourself.

"Y/N," he softly called. Your eyes only met his for a second before they were cast somewhere else and your attention ran away from you once again.

"I think," you started, unsure of every word that slipped past your lips. "I think you should go."

You didn't know how to explain to him that you were afraid of what he might think of you at that moment, or that you didn't want to hurt his feelings any more than you guessed you already had.

"I don't want to go. I'm tired of leaving you alone." He stood, gently pulling you to stand with him, and led you to the edge of your bed with a delicate touch. "You don't have to sleep. You don't have to talk. Just lay here with me for a little while and let me be close to you."

"You know," Lucas started as he tossed the noodles in the pan. He'd tucked you into the couch earlier that evening and told you to forget the paper you'd been stressing over. You happily complied. "I don't know how to say this any better." You listened keenly as you pulled a throw pillow into your lap and wrapped yourself around it. "I know that this is probably the last thing you want to talk about, but I did something very wrong to you. I'm still sorry, and I hope you know that. But..." He cast you a quick glance over his shoulder before reaching for the seasoning in your pantry. "I don't think I ever gave you the chance to yell at me. Or like, to be mad at me - ya' know?"

You thought for a moment, front teeth chewing on your thumbnail before you shook your head softly and answered, "I don't want to yell at you. I don't want to be mad at you."

You heard a repressed sound of discouragement before looking to see him dishing your dinner plates. "I wish you would. I wish you would yell at me and tell me what I did was wrong. I wish you would be angry with me for a little while. I wish you would just tell me something about how you feel about it."

He handed you your plate and watched as you ran back inside of your own head. He watched your eyes glaze over as you replayed his words, and yet you made sense of almost none of them. You didn't understand what he was asking of you.

You toyed with your food as you tried to process his request. You didn't even notice when he took his seat beside you, nor did you notice the burning gaze he watched you with.

"Y/N," he called, shaking you out of your trance. "I want you to yell at me." You looked at him like a deer caught in headlights - big black eyes staring down a deadly light. "How did you feel when it happened? Shout something horrific at me about what was going through your head at the time."

You took a small bite and swallowed, training your eyes on the coffee table before you. "I don't remember."

You looked so small, so helpless, and so distant. You were there, right next to him, and yet you were so far away. He was having trouble finding you.

"Yell. Break something. For fuck's sake, please."

The more pressure he applied, the further you seemed to slip away. Before he knew it, you were gone.

"That's not her anymore." He found himself on Mark's bed once again, tucked into the younger boy's covers and pouring out his heart. "She's not all there. She just looks so empty now."

"Dude, I don't know why you come to me for this sort of thing. It's not like I'm just great with girls," the younger quips from his desk chair. "And Johnny would know more about her than I would-"

"No. He absolutely cannot know that I broke his sister."

Mark hummed in thought for a moment before he laid his pen down in his textbook and turned his full body to his friend. "Lucas, be honest with me about something." Lucas nodded. "Did you see anyone else while she was in France?"

Lucas shook his head as he took in his friend's words carefully. He had no right to be mad at the accusation, so he kept his temper in check until a particularly vile thought trotted across his mind. He sat up immediately. "Oh God, do you think that she did? Do you think she considered it a break and she slept with someone else?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying- hey- Lucas, stop." Lucas was already to his feet and out the door before he could finish. "So not my fault," he grumbled to himself.

Finally, it all made sense to him. You couldn't be mad at him if you were also guilty. You couldn't yell at him for committing a sin you'd also committed. He was going to redress the scale. He was going to make you the word again. He was going to be the action.

The solid thuds against your wooden door made you jump up from your floor. Adrenaline spread through your fingertips and you took a step back towards your bedroom.

"We need to talk."

Lucas sounded angry. You pushed and pulled with your memory, but found no trace of experiencing this feeling before: fear of him. You moved against your gut to let him in. You barely opened the door before he pushed his way inside, rattling off accusation after accusation.

"Did you think we were on a break? Because we weren't on a break."

You just listened.

"Did you just forget about me while you were there? Did you just ignore the fact that I was waiting for you? I was stuck here, waiting for you every day while you were in France."

You didn't speak.

"So you just got to do whatever you wanted while I had to sulk here? You just couldn't control yourself, huh? Do you know how hard it was to keep control of myself while you were gone?"

'It was hard?' you thought.

"How about we take another break then? How about this time, I get to sleep with whoever I want? Well? Aren't you even going to open your mouth to defend yourself?"

You didn't.

"Am I wrong?" He prompted. "I didn't think so. Now we're on a break. Now you can fuck around with whoever you want."

Shocked couldn't begin to describe the state he left you in. You stood there, clambering for answers as to what could have sent him on a warpath to your apartment in the first place. His seemingly unprompted fit of jealous rage couldn't really have been sparked without a cause, you figured.

Maybe he'd seen pictures of you with your male friends in France. Maybe a rumor had been spread about you. Maybe he was just tired of you and feeding himself a rotten narrative as an excuse to break up with you.

You didn't want to know. You opted to rather accept his decision, and all of your own emotions that came flooding back with it.

"Hey man, have you talked to Y/N lately? She took one of my classes last year, and I wanted to see if I could get her notes before semester tests." Haechan asks his elder who lay sprawled on the couch.

"Nope," he said, popping the 'p.'

"What?" Haechan asked, looking up from his phone. "What do you mean you haven't talked to her?"

Lucas lazily yawned and reached for his soda can beside him. "It's not like she's my girlfriend or something. I'm not her keeper."

"Shit, Lucas, you didn't," Mark groaned, rubbing his temple.

"No, you were right. She was sleeping with other guys while she was in France. She didn't even try to deny it."

"Hang on, I never said that. You conjured that one up all on your own, buddy."

Haechan frowned as his frat members debated. He was focused on a much bigger issue at large.

"When did you break up with her?" he asks cautiously.

"Hey, we're just on a break. Don't go getting any ideas-"

"Jesus fuck, can your ego get any bigger?" Lucas crossed his arms and refocused his attention on the television, jaw clenched tightly. "You're so annoying," Haechan mumbled under his breath, already moving towards the door and shooting your brother a message telling him to meet in front of your apartment.

"Damn, you got called annoying by Haechan. How does that feel?"

"Can it, Lee."

You could feel it all, the swarm of emotions swirling and twirling around inside your chest, and yet you couldn't begin to name any of them. All you knew was that it hurt and you wanted it to stop.

You laid in your bed and watched your ceiling fondly. You liked how it didn't move. You didn't struggle to keep up with it. And it was dependable; it would always be there.

You didn't move when the knock at your front door finally registered in your ears; you were tired of playing doorman in your own residence.

You were just tired actually.

"Y/N," Johnny called, lightly pushing open the door to your bedroom. A strong sense of deja vu winded you. You knew this scene, you'd lived it before. "It's me and Haechan. I'm sorry we didn't call first." You didn't know how they managed to get inside, nor did you care. You just wanted to sleep.

Johnny took a seat next to you on the side of your bed. He brushed a strand of hair out of your eyes in an attempt to capture your attention. That's when the smell hit you. The heavy stench of cigarettes washed over all of your senses causing you to retract from his touch. He looked shaken at first, scared that he might have hurt you.

"You didn’t smoke before," you recalled. It was almost a feat in and of itself to remember the bitter past, but the small victory was stifled by the thick, wet air of the bitter present.

His eyes softened before he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a pack he'd bought just a few days before. "I started a few months ago while you were away. I knew you wouldn't be happy about it."

"I don't care," you answered promptly before slowly pulling yourself to sit up against your headboard.

Haechan watched from the doorway. He wondered if he'd ever seen someone in this state before, or if he ever would again. He looked at you and almost failed to see the human being in front of him. He watched you move like a frightened animal, stiff and weary. He watched your untrained gaze flicker between your brother and your brother's outstretched hand. 

This couldn't have just been the work of Lucas, he concluded. There were more deeply rooted implications here. There was an unresolved issue before your idiot boyfriend played to his own role.

"Can you tell me what's wrong?"

"I don't know," you answered honestly.

Johnny looked to Haechan for support, but the younger could offer only his presence in this situation.

"That's okay," your brother soothed. "Haechan," he turned to your mutual friend, "can you call Ten and Yuta and see if they've, uh, noticed anything weird lately about..." He gestured to you. Haechan excused himself to place the calls. "Food? Food always helps, right?" he tried with a dry chuckle. You paid absolutely no mind to him.

"I can't take this," Ten muttered to himself, excusing himself from your bedroom. Five boys had soon found themselves huddled in your doorway, watching your every move intently as you resisted every attempt your brother made to move you.

You felt like a lab rat, being looked at from all angles as Johnny poked and prodded to see what would make you tick. It felt humiliating.

"Let's just go for a drive," he tried again, gently pulling your arms away from your chest and trying to guide you out of bed.

"No," you answered again, pulling yourself away from him and settling further back into your bed.

"Maybe we should just let her be for tonight," Jaehyun suggested, moving to stand beside your brother whose head was fallen in defeat.

"I can't just leave her like this, Jae. I still don't understand what's going on."

"Just give her some space," Jaehyun tried again. "This clearly isn't very effective."

Johnny sighed but ended up in compliance as everyone except for Jungwoo moved to your living room. They quietly deliberated as Jungwoo read allowed one of your favorite novels from the end of your bed, hoping against all hope that it would in some way bring you back from the void in which your mind seemed to currently reside.

"Honestly, we had planned to just come and cheer her up," Haechan had said. "We didn't know we'd find her like this. But I can't say it really surprised me, she's been off for months now."

"I thought something seemed weird. She hasn't said much to me in a while."

"Me either."

"Yeah, same."

Everyone generally agreed with Ten's statement.

"Do you guys think something happened in France?" Jaehyun suggests.

"Or maybe things haven't been going so well between her and Lucas for a while?" Yuta offers.

"Everything just feels like it's spinning," you said, cutting off Jungwoo's reading of Mary Shelley's finest work. He was just happy to have heard you say anything at all. "Everything is going so fast around me. I just wanna take a nap, sleep for a while." As you relayed your simple disposition, you found yourself moving to lay on your side, plenty warm but unwilling to relinquish your comforter. "I don't feel like I belong here, so I'm going to sleep instead."

Jungwoo set the book to the side and laid himself down at the end of your bed. "I don't feel like I belong here sometimes either," he relates.

"But you do," you say, looking over his features and seeing every sharp and jagged curve for the first time.

"You do too," he promises.

Hours of hushed worries bled into the night, and you awoke alone in your apartment in the morning. You had no initial intention of getting out of bed. It was the hardcover copy of Frankenstein standing upright on your bedside table that stirred your aching joints into motion.

Then you remembered.

How could you ever even forget?

The Han River smiled when you arrived, taking a seat on his bank. He asked you why you'd been such an unfamiliar face as of late, to which you had no reply. He thanked you for coming to visit him nonetheless and told you about how much Seoul had missed you while you were away. He told you about the alley cats and how they missed the treats you would occasionally leave for them on your way to classes. He told you about how much the sky cried about you spending spring away. He told you that the city lights drowned out the stars while you were gone, but let them peak back into the city when you returned.

You had no beating heart to pour out into his water, so instead, you gave him your soul. The Han understood and sat with you until you bore no more faults on which to complain. He told you he missed you. You told him that you missed him too. You told him about the Garonne and how much you thought he would like her. Then he sent you off into the afternoon bustle of the city with a watchful eye.

You wondered the streets for a while. Not a penny in your pocket, and still you found so many little joys in all the cracks and crevices of Seoul. You pet the stray cats; they'd always been particularly fond of you. You walked around an antique shop making wild guesses about the past lives of every item in sight. You climbed a tree in the park without a damn to spare the onlookers. By sunset, your feet had taken you back to your campus and directly to the front door of your apartment.

"How about some tea?" you ask yourself as you push the door open, not half expecting to be ambushed by a group of concerned young men demanding to know where you were.

"Would you all like some tea too?"

It was still a struggle to hear your voice most of the time, but visible relief settled over those who'd seen you cowering from your brother in your bedroom only days prior. They all continued to check in on you frequently, as they still had difficulties coaxing you away from your apartment.

"Lucas," Johnny had finally caught him lurking in the kitchen around midnight. He was beginning to grow irritable with how troublesome he had become to locate.

Lucas froze, cup ramen clasped in one hand with chopsticks in the other. Busted like a child with their hand in the cookie jar.

"Look, I'm sorry about your sister," he started without really knowing where he was going. "I know that I kinda jumped the gun-"

"I don't want to fight with you again," the elder said. He had kept his calm since the situation had arisen. The last time you and your boyfriend had a falling out, all hell broke loose in their dorms. He had landed a good solid punch on the more-than-deserving idiot and held the belief that he probably deserved a few more. However, he'd rather not have everyone in a frenzy once more, turning against one another. "I just need you to tell me what was going on before you left."

Lucas's shoulders slump and he sets his late-night meal on the countertop. "I was just so frustrated. She always let me into her head before - but when she came back, she just stopped talking to me. She shut me out," he relayed. "I tried everything I could think of. I tried to make her really happy, I tried to make her really mad. She wouldn't talk to me."

"She won't talk to me either," Johnny said, resting a reassuring hand on Lucas's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he responds, taking some measure of the blame upon himself. He felt that maybe if he'd had more patience with you, he could have helped you to get better. Now you were detaching yourself from not only him but your other friends and family as well. "Do you think she would want to see me?"

Your brother shrugged but a small smirk played on his lips. "I dunno. Maybe you should go find out tomorrow."

Needless to say, Lucas felt displaced and burdened by heavy guilt as he stood in your doorway, looking down on your fragile body. The last time he came knocking on your door in the most awful hours of the morning, he begged and cried on his knees for you not to leave him. He felt himself resist the urge to fall to the ground and repeat his mantra of pleas.

You didn't ask him why he was there so early in the morning, nor did you ask him if he wanted to come in. Your stare made his skin feel cold. He cleared his throat to dispel some of the awkward tension that he felt clawing at his airways.

"Can I come in?" Without a word, you moved to the side. "Thank you. Were you asleep?"

"No," you say simply, trailing behind him as he steps into your kitchen.

He lets out a low chuckle as he glances around the room. It looked so surprisingly unhomely and clean. Not a single dish in the sink, nor a potted plant out of place. "I keep messing up pretty badly, don't I?"

He hated the empty way you looked at him. It was as if you didn't know him. It was as if you had just let a complete stranger into your apartment.

"I don't understand, and I'm really trying to. I know that you know that things have changed since you got back. I don't know what that means yet, but I do know that I still love you. And that I'm stupid. I know that too."

You hummed along, a thoughtful expression overtaking your blank features.

"And I know that I’m sorry. I let a stupid idea get into my head and I let it hurt my own feelings. I shouldn’t have taken that out on you. Please don't leave me."

You didn't offer an answer, instead opening your arms and inviting him back into your embrace. He placed a small kiss on your lips, something he felt like he hadn't done in ages, and wrapped himself around you in an effort to keep you by his side forever.

"Are you happy here in Seoul?" your boyfriend asked, picking at the grass in front of his crossed legs. He looked at you as you looked down at the water. "I mean, I know you don't want to go back to (country), and I have a feeling that you don't exactly want to go live with my family in China. But like, would you rather be in Bordeaux? Or would you rather stay here?"

"I don't know." He hummed and waited for you to elaborate, but you made no real effort to.

"I know that we're still young and we don't have to make any decisions about where we want to live yet," he cooed, looking up to watch the sun set behind the large city towers, "but would you stay here in Seoul with me for a little while?"

You nodded, reaching over to take his hand in your own before pulling him to lay in the grass with you.

"You know, you're not the same person that you were before you left. I've realized that," he said with a sad smile as he looked over at you and placed a small kiss on your chin, pulling a small giggle from your lips. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I can't wait to get to know you again."

[tamakissimp]

K.B- here to stay

𝕤𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪: Bakugou wasn’t the only captive the league of villains had, you were one too. A captive they took for your quirk; drinking just a drop of your blood could heal any injury. After being rescued, you and Bakugou got separated. But not for long.

𝕨𝕒𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤: fem!reader pronouns (used once) kidnapping, blood, knife, fluffy ending, captivity, cursing

𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 𝟚𝟛𝟡𝟟

request: anon - Hi! I saw requests were open, could you please write a scenario for Bakugou, where during his time kidnapped by the lov, they had another captive. A girl who is his age, but she has been there for a few months. The reason why she is there is because of her quirk. Her blood can heal others, all they need to do is drink some of it, the bigger the injury the more blood. They are saved together but then separated. It’s been two years of no contact when Bakugou goes to recovery girl to find the same girl who was a captive now learning under recovery girl. They hit it off. Hi please?

You're a hallucination his mind made up, Bakugou is sure of it. A bright imagine his mind made up to keep himself from going insane. You're too pure to be in such a shit-filled place as the league's hideout.

Though the chains shackled tightly around your ankles say differently. The bloodstains on the ground scream that you’re here. The various scars and wounds that those villain bastards put on you prove you're real. Your arms gently wrapping around Bakugou's shaking body convince him that you're real.

 You're here, you're real and you're hurt. Hurt because he can't keep those bastard's hands of you. Though you never fret about it.

Bakugou screams his throat raw every moment he can as league members do as much as breath in his direction. Even their muzzles can keep his mouth shut. Though you never say a word when they plunge syringe after syringe into your skin. Tears never roll down your cheeks as they cut your skin up to their liking.

He wonders if you ever were rebellious. If there was a time when you kicked and screamed at the villainous hands reaching towards you. All he knows is your time with him. The times in which you would gently gather the blood seeping from your fresh wounds onto your thumb and stick it into his mouth. The times in which you forced your quirk on him, even if he bit down harshly on your fingers. Just so he could have a chance at recovering before Shigaraki ordered a new wave of pain onto him.

All he knows are the nights - or days, time grows weird when you're kidnapped - when you're running your hands through his hair. The nights at which you promise him that someone will rescue him. Even if no one has tried to do during your imprisonment. You promise him that you will get out here so he can show you the friends he's been telling you about.

"Denki, you'll-you'll love him," he says. His voice cracks. Either from sadness or the amount of screaming he has done today, he doesn't know or care. "He's stupi- I mean, he's kind. A fucking goofball.".

You hum at him as you continue to play with his spiky hair. You like to imagine that it's normally soft. Soft and bouncy. But now it's matted by sweat and crusted bits of blood. That and facts that it hasn't been washed for well over a week.

"And Kirishima," Bakugou continues. He thinks back on the times spent with his friends. Times were they dragged him along to go on stupid adventures. Times were they laughed their ass off for no reason. He hated this times back then but he yearns for them now.

"He's great. He's kind. A-And he's sweet. The type of guy to be everyone's friend. The type of guy....to be a hero.". Tears roll down his cheeks at his words.

A hero. It's hard to imagine himself being one now. He can't even handle being kidnapped by some low life bastards without breaking down.

"I can't wait to meet them," you whisper back. "We'll get spicy pork noodle together, yeah?". Bakugou nods. You'll get out of here, both of you. You're going to get out of here and he's going to take you to a stupid mall to eat some goddamn noodles.

You continue to play with his hair. Running his locks through your fingers while humming subconsciously. The soft movements lul Bakugou into a sleepy state. His body grows warm and his eyes grow droopy. "We'll do that," he whispers before letting his eyes fully close.

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Dabi's burning hand wraps around your arm. Red indents in the shape of the pads of his fingers get pushed into your skin. Screams erupt from your throat.

"Don't be so fucking annoying," Shigaraki spits out. You simply shake your head as sobs wreck through your body. Dabi's hands warm up further, excelling boiling point. You scream again.

Dabi's free hand lifts to slap your cheek harshly. The red handprint on your skin makes pride swell up in the bastard's chest. Finally, Dabi's burning hand unwraps itself from your arm.

He lets you curl into yourself, carefully cradling your burned arm. "Just give us some fucking blood," Shigaraki says he as walks away from his place in the shadows.

Dabi steps aside to make room for his boss. Shigaraki slowly crouches down in front of you. You keep your eyes trained on the chains secured tightly around your ankles. Fucking bastard.

Suddenly, four of Shigaraki's cold fingers wrap around your neck, forcing you to look at him. Crazed eyes and cracked skin look back at you. He expected you to beg for forgiveness. For you to fall to your knees and beg for your life. Instead, you stare at him with lifeless eyes.

"You better cooperate with us. You don't want to piss off the end boss," he says. His wobbly voice makes you want to cut his tongue out. Since that isn't an option, you opt for the next best thing; spitting in his voice.

Shigaraki stumbles back a bit like a thick glob of spit runs down his nose, hitting his upper lip. He roughly wipes the spit off his face as you give him a shit-eating grin. "Suck. My. Dick," you say.

Within a second, he has you turned around. Your cheek is planted firmly against the cold, stone wall as your arm is bent in a painful angle. "Crispy, give me a fucking knife," Shigaraki says while making grabby hands towards Dabi.

You squeeze your eyes shut as you here the man behind you shuffle around. Screams rip through your throat as you feel the cold edge of a knife press harshly into your skin. Drops of blood audibly hit the floor. Maybe complying would be easier.

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

The chair is always the worst. You can't speak to him, you can't help him. All you can do is look at him while he trashes against the restrains. All you can do is long to touch him while a muzzle covers his face.

You cower away in the corner. Any rattling Bakugou's chains make only cause you to curl into yourself more. You wrap your arms around yourself in pseudo protectiveness.

Broken whispers of apologies fall of your tongue along with whimpers. Bakugou's screams are still more than audible even with the thick metal covering his mouth.

He must be scared, of course, he is. He told you about that glob monster that had pushed itself into his throat. Did the muzzle remind him of that? It must have. Otherwise, he would be aggressive, rather than scared.

"I'm sorry," you repeat time and time again. You can't even remember if it was your fault. Though it most likely was, it always is.

It's smart of the league you, you have to give them that. Punishing someone else. Playing mind games like they always do. They could have just roughed you up a bit. Thrown a few punches and left it at that. But punishing Bakugou instead of you, that's fucked up.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.". The meaningless words bounce through the room. I'm sorry won't get Bakugou out of that chair. It won't even calm him down. Maybe it'll scare him even further.

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Salvation is supposed to taste sweet. It's supposed to feel like drinking a cold glass of water after being lost in a desert. Instead, it left a foul taste on your tongue. It left your body shaking with fear.

The loud explosions and bang going on outside the door make you push your head into Bakugou's chest. His arms are wrapped securely around you.

He wants to fight, God knows how much. He wants to blow off that goddamn door and blast the league's faces off. But he also knows that if he gives in to his reckless impulses, you'll be left by your self. And you don't have an aggressive quirk as he does. Basically meaning, if he leaves you alone now you're fucked.

"It's okay," Bakugou says. His voice is broken and ragged. After days of doing nothing but screaming his vocal cords ultimately took some damage. He winches at the dryness in his throat. "No one's gonna hurt you.".

You nod against him, fisting the fabric of his shirt. Suddenly, the door bangs open. You pull yourself out of Bakugou's grasp. He steps in front of you and shields you behind his broad shoulders. Though his defence drops once he sees the person in the doorway.

"Mister Aizawa," he says. The teacher nods as he quickly walks over to the boy, turning his attention towards the chains linked to his left wrist.

"Who's this?" he asks as he looks over at you. You take a step back from the unknown men, looking at Bakugou like a deer in headlights.

"Y/n, she's been captured too," he gruffs. The raven-haired nods before moving on to loosen your shackles. You subconsciously reach out and grab a hold of Bakugou's hand. He gladly grabs a hold of it, rubbing soothing circles on the top of up.

Once Aizawa is done, he moves away from the two of you and mentions towards the door. "Let's get you, kids, out of here," he says. Bakugou's eyes shoot over to you.  You sent him a reassuring nod.

"Let's go home.".

☆◦ 。＼｜／。◦☆

Life without you is dull. The sparkle that once lit up Bakugou's life is now gone. He went from relying on you to get him through the day to not seeing you all. Last he saw you, you were both in the hospital getting your wounds treated. He heard whispers that you attend the UA now but he doesn't let himself believe in such rumours only to be disappointed.

His friends had noticed the change, how could they not. Bakugou went from being a hothead to not saying a word to anyone except Kirishima.Being a shut-in was his new thing, instead of being a fireball. He overworked himself in training. He pushed his quirk until his hands were raw and burned.

His aspirations to become a hero has seemed to double. The fact that no one has come to save you for months seemed to fule his dreams to make sure that happened to no one else.

At unholy hours he allowed himself to think of you. He let his mind wander to dark corners as he lays in bed unphased by sleep. The possibility that you had never recovered from your injuries was likely. Maybe you died in the hospital and he's going with his life hoping that fate will miraculously bring you two together.

Those thoughts always seem to spike a place in his heart. All he knew about you was your name. You let him ramble about his life. You took away his pain, his fear and his injuries. All that and he never returned the favour. You had never told him about yourself, your fears or your family. He beats himself up of that. 

He pushes himself in the gym for that. Forces his body beyond breaking point because - in his mind - he deserves it. He deserves all the pain he could never take away from you.

"Hey, Bakugou!" Denki calls out. Bakugou's head perks up for a second. his eyes fall over his electric friends before turning to gaze out the window again.

Denki looks over to Kirishima who gives him an encouraging nod. "Can't you just tell him?" Denki asks. Kirishima shakes his head.

"Nuh-uh, you tell him," He says.

"Tell me what?" Bakugou sneers. Both boys look up at their friend who has suddenly turned his full attention to them. Denki shoots Bakugou an awkward smile.

"They're uh," Kirishima begins. "There's someone at Recovery Girl you might want to see.". Bakugou nerves light up. Could it be you?

He quickly dismisses the possibility. Getting his hopes up will only get him hurt in the long run. Still, though, he quickly pushes himself out of his chair and rushes towards Recovery Girl's office.

The walk is short, two minutes tops. Maybe it's because he's focused or maybe it's because he's powerwalking through UA like a mad man. Who knows.

Muffled voice is audible from behind the door. One voice, in particular, spikes his attention. Without thinking, Bakugou rips the door open. There he sees Recovery Girl standing next to a sitting down Izuku, who broke his arm again. However, another figure is standing beside them.

"Deku?" Izuku says. Bakugou's mind doesn't get the time to catch up as his body rushes itself towards you. His arms wrap around you instinctively as he pulls you into a bone-crushing hug.

"Katsuki!" you squeal out as you return his hug. His nerves are on fire and his mind is in overdrive. The feeling of your warmth against his body calms down anxieties he didn't know he had. Your familiar scent fills his nose.

He pulls away slightly to see your face. His calloused palm rests against your cheeks. You melt into his touch. "I thought...". He doesn't have to finish the sentence for you to understand.

"I know," you say. "But I made it. And I'm not going anywhere.". Warmth swells up in Bakugou's chest at the words. Salty tears prick in his eyes though he makes no attempt to wipe them away.

Deku is damned, he's going to cry whenever he likes. If you had asked him a year ago, he would have said that crying makes you weak. Though he knows better now. Emotions don't make you weak. They make you stronger. They make you human.

"I'm going to the UA now. I'm doing a special healer's course," you say. A goofy smile is plastered on your lips as tears start to well up in your eyes as well.

Izuku awkwardly dismisses himself from the room. Though a smile is still present on his lips. It does him well to see how much his childhood friend has changed.

"You're gonna stay here," Bakugou repeats your words. You nod at him. Your hand reaches up to run through his hair. Like you thought his locks are silky smooth. Now unphased by layers of sweat, standing up proudly in high pikes.

"I'm going to stay.".

[sailermoon]

in response to that post you reblogged: i don't remember why i originally followed tbh (it's been like 5 or 6 years since i followed on my old account LUL) but i stayed bc you're lovely and sweet and a good friend 🥺 and even tho we don't talk as much as we used to, i really care about you and i'm so glad to see you doing so well in life 💖

I JUST REALIZED I DIDNT RESPOND TO THIS

and omg we’ve been following each other for YEARS it’s crazy 🥺 love seeing how much we’ve grown and where we are in life now ♥️♥️♥️