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exilepurify · 2 years

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“You know a lot of big words.” — Determining Shigeo’s Kanji Literacy

An analysis in four parts:

Jouyou kanji and Japan’s compulsory education system, explained.

An introduction to the analysis—what I did and why I did it.

A presentation of data, evidence, and counterarguments.

The truth revealed: can Shigeo write a reasonable amount of kanji for his age group?

Jouyou kanji and Japan’s compulsory education system, explained

Let us begin this analysis by establishing a basic understanding of how Japan’s education system is structured.

As you may already know, only elementary school and middle school are compulsory in Japan, meaning that high school and college are completely optional. Therefore, compulsory education in Japan consists of grades 1-9, with grades 1-6 being 小学校 (primary school) and grades 7-9 being 中学校 (middle school).

The term 「常用漢字」(jouyou kanji, “Daily-Use Kanji”) refers to a list of 2136 kanji that the Japanese Ministry of Education requires be taught throughout education grades in Japan due to their importance and frequency of use in Japanese daily life. Knowing all 2136 is defined by the Japanese government as the baseline for basic, functional literacy in Japanese. The jouyou kanji list is further divided into two sub-categories: 「教育漢字」(kyouiku kanji, “Education Kanji”) and 「中学・高校漢字」(chuugaku • koukou kanji, “Secondary School Kanji”).

教育漢字 (kyouiku kanji, “Education Kanji”) (A.K.A. 学年別漢字配当表 [gakunenbetsu kanji haitouhyou, “list of kanji by school year”]) is the Japanese term for the 1006 kanji that are taught over the 6 years of primary school in Japan, grouped into different grade levels by difficulty and complexity.

「中学・高校漢字」(chuugaku • koukou kanji, “Secondary School Kanji”) is the term for the 1130 kanji that students are expected to learn throughout middle school and high school. This list of kanji is not strictly divided by grade level, though a general grade level is often provided, because students in secondary school—whether it be middle or high—are expected to learn kanji more independently. Though the responsibility of learning these kanji is shifted from the classroom to the individual, the importance of knowing these kanji by the end of one’s education, if that be middle school or high school, cannot be overstated. Once again, these 2136 kanji are considered the basics of Japanese kanji fluency.

According to the “Kanji Frequency Number Survey/漢字頻度数調査” conducted by the National Cultural Affairs Division in 2000, in 385 books published by a major publishing company, 8474 different kanji were used (not including duplicates). However, speakers are able to understand 99% of them if they know the top 2457 kanji, and 99.9% of them if they know the top 4208 kanji. And as is true for speakers of every other language, people can generally read more words than they can write.

I determined the “grade level” of each kanji in this analysis according to the grade level provided in my Japanese-English dictionaries, but consideration will be made for Secondary School Kanji due to the lack of official grade divisions and the less organized circumstances involved with learning them.

An introduction to the analysis—what I did and why I did it

In this analysis, I focused specifically on Shigeo’s ability to write kanji, not to read them. This is most obviously because it’s much harder to determine whether or not someone can actually read something, especially in anime, without it being explicitly mentioned. However, it is also because the meaning of kanji can be inferred from knowing the meaning of radicals, and as mentioned above, it is common for people to be able to read more words than they can write. The true mark of knowing a kanji is being able to write it.

To determine Shigeo’s kanji-writing ability, I studied screenshots from a few scenes from the anime, specifically a couple of scenes from the Reigen OVA where Shigeo is writing a LOT, and a couple scenes from the regular anime where Shigeo is explicitly seen writing stuff down and the audience is shown the writing.

The data has been organized into two different excel charts—one for kanji he uses correctly, and one for kanji he doesn’t know or messes up. The kanji in each of these charts have been color-coded and organized by grade level, with readings, translations, and explanations provided. There is only one kanji in the entire analysis that is not considered a part of the jouyou kanji, and this kanji has been marked by “N/A” in the grade level section.

I will provide each chart alongside a percentage likelihood that Mob will know any given kanji from each grade level based on the information gathered from the anime. Please note that the sample size is obviously limited, but I’m working with what I have. If there is a kanji with some sort of detail worth consideration, I’ve marked it with a (**) in the chart and will explain below.

Lastly, I included kanji used in names in the chart here after some deliberation. Name kanji are tricky in general, because multiple kanji share the same pronunciation and people usually don’t know what kanji are used in someone’s name unless they are shown by that person (unless it’s some crazy common name like 高田 or 森 or 田中).

A presentation of data, evidence, and counterarguments.

Shigeo’s known kanji:

Shigeo’s unknown kanji:

IMPORTANT NOTE: There are one or two instances of Shigeo NOT using a kanji at all that I’ve decided not to include on the chart. This is because it is common for Japanese speakers to omit kanji for super common verbs and write them in kana instead, either for personal style reasons or for convenience. Since the verbs are so fundamental and commonly-used, it’s unlikely that they will be misunderstood or mistaken for another word if written in kana. So, if Shigeo wrote the verb for “to read” or “to eat” without using kanji, I didn’t include it, as I highly highly highly doubt he doesn’t know those kanji and I felt like it would unfairly skew the results against him.

米** = I don’t blame Shigeo for not knowing this kanji. It’s fair to assume that Mob might not have seen Mezato’s name written out and therefore wouldn’t know which kanji to use. On TOP of that, “me” for 米 is a special nanori (used for names only) reading and is super obscure and uncommon. I couldn’t even find it in my name dictionary by searching “Mezato”, I had to find her name written in kanji in S1E3 and go from there. I wouldn’t expect this kanji to be in anyone’s top ten possible kanji guesses for the “me” in “mezato”. I included it because rules are rules, but wanted to mention this to make it fairer on the boy.

世** = I want to make it known that Shigeo does successfully write this kanji in the image shown here, when he writes 「世紀」(century):

HOWEVER. However. He messed it up SO BAD before that I think it actually overpowers him using it correctly and brings it back around to a “not properly known” kanji, especially because it’s a kanji taught in second grade that he shouldn’t be messing up at all:

The subtitles intersect it but I’ve rewritten what Shigeo wrote there at the bottom. He tried to write 「世の中には」”In the world…”, but tried to write the kanji, messed up, crossed it out, and then rewrote it in kana. Didn’t even try to write it a second time. This is egregious and, in my juror’s power, cancels out his later usage. This would be like misspelling “world” in English. I’m willing to entertain arguments that he just wanted to write it in kana for some reason, but as it is now, I don’t think that excuse is compelling enough against such damning evidence, so in “missed kanji” it goes. (It’s partly cut off but what gets me is that it doesn’t even look wrong in the first place lol but if he crossed it out, it means he didn’t know it well enough, which allowed him to doubt, which is still damning enough.)

造** = Just like above, Shigeo actually does successfully use this kanji once in the show when he’s filling out his paperwork for the Body Improvement Club in S1E2 (forgive my awful kanji, it’s hard to draw on the phone lol):

However, that was not only on an official school document, it was also in the presence of a student council member and Saruta (#2 in the grade lol) so I have to assume he either asked someone for help or got corrected. Either way, the instance where he doesn’t use the kanji is when he’s in his bedroom alone, writing in his personal notebook—a much more casual environment, and one that takes place AFTER s1e2 (can’t argue he learned it):

This leads me to believe that Shigeo does not naturally know the kanji, as he can’t reproduce it in casual day-to-day or when alone.

焉** = This kanji is not only not included in the jouyou kanji, but it is also used in an obscure word. In fact, it took me a minute to locate it in my Japanese-English dictionary app. It is absolutely not reasonable to expect Shigeo to know this kanji off the top of his head, and he probably wouldn’t know it even if he were a kanji ace. It is included and working against him, however, because the kanji he initially tried to write in its place was 「円」, a.k.a. the kanji for YEN/¥:

Sure, 「えん」is a reading for「円」, that part makes sense. But 「終焉」means “the finals years in one’s life”, so I’m really struggling to understand why Mob would think the yen money kanji would be a part of that word and why he would try to write it with that kanji instead of just writing it in kana first, like the majority of the kanji he didn’t know. It’s truly an enigma to me. I’m bewildered he even tried that, and for that, I’m holding it against him.

BASIC STATS:

GRADE 1 KANJI:

- Total known: 17

- Total unknown: 0

- Grand total: 17

- Shigeo knows: 17 out of 17

- Percentage likelihood of Shigeo knowing a grade 1 kanji: 100%

GRADE 2 KANJI:

- Total known: 16

- Total unknown: 3

- Grand total: 19

- Shigeo knows: 16 out of 19

- Percentage likelihood of Shigeo knowing a grade 2 kanji: 84.2%

GRADE 3 KANJI:

- Total known: 13

- Total unknown: 6

- Grand total: 19

- Shigeo knows: 13 out of 19

- Percentage likelihood of Shigeo knowing a grade 3 kanji: 68.4%

GRADE 4 KANJI:

- Total known: 11

- Total unknown: 0

- Grand total: 11

- Shigeo knows: 11 out of 11

- Percentage likelihood of Shigeo knowing a grade 4 kanji: 100%

(Baby apparently had a great year in fourth grade.)

GRADE 5 KANJI:

- Total known: 3

- Total unknown: 4

- Grand total: 7

- Shigeo knows: 3 out of 7

- Percentage likelihood of Shigeo knowing a grade 5 kanji: 43.9%

GRADE 6 KANJI:

- Total known: 0

- Total unknown: 2

- Grand total: 2

- Shigeo knows: 0 out of 2

- Percentage likelihood of Shigeo knowing a grade 6 kanji: 0%

😭

GRADE 7 KANJI:

(No known or unknown 7th grade kanji found)

GRADE 8 KANJI

- Total known: 5

- Total unknown: 6

- Grand total: 11

- Shigeo knows: 5 out of 11

- Percentage likelihood of Shigeo knowing a grade 8 kanji: 45.5%

^ To Shigeo’s credit, this isn’t bad at all considering he’s only halfway through his eight grade year at this point in the story.

% OF JOUYOU KANJI SHIGEO KNOWS:

% known from observed data:

65/86

75.6%

# of jouyou kanji: 2136

75.6% of 2136 = 1615 jouyou kanji

Here’s a graph for your visualizing pleasure:

Finally:

(All values are rounded up)

There are 1006 kyouiku kanji. There are 1130 secondary school kanji. Because high school in Japan is not compulsory, we’ll assume that the secondary kanji are to be learned over the three years of middle school. That means about 377 words per middle school grade. If Shigeo is halfway through eighth grade, let’s say he should generally know 1006 + 377 + (377/2) kanji, which comes out to 1,572.

There are 80 kyouiku kanji assigned to first grade, which Shigeo should know 100% of—80 total.

There are 160 kyouiku kanji assigned to second grade, which Shigeo should know 84.2% of—135 total.

There are 200 kanji assigned to third grade, which Shigeo should know 68.4% of—137 total.

There are 200 kanji assigned to fourth grade, which Shigeo should know 100% of—200 total.

There are 185 kanji assigned to fifth grade, which Shigeo should know 43.9% of—81 total.

There are 181 kanji assigned to sixth grade, which Shigeo should know… 0% of…. 0 total.

This all totals out to:

80 + 135 + 137 + 200 + 81 + 0 = 633/1006 elementary school-level kanji. That’s 63% of the kanji required for elementary school.

(Didn’t include a calculation for middle school kanji due to having 0 data on seventh-grade kanji and also him being halfway through eighth.)

The truth revealed: can Shigeo write a reasonable amount of kanji for his age group?

Uh… no. Maybe? Well… probably not, no.

I mean, of course there are flaws with my methods. I had a super small sample group and applied the stats there to all of the jouyou kanji, which is almost guaranteed to be lower than reality. I just didn’t really have another choice. Also, I’m very certain that Shigeo MUST know some 6th grade kanji, even if in the results here I considered the probability to be 0%. That’s assuredly not accurate. There were just, by chance, only two instances of sixth-grade kanji in all of the sample writing and he happened not to know either of them. This is just for fun, anyway. I can say with confidence, though, that he certainly isn’t a writer, and he definitely knows less kanji than the average eighth grader, but I wouldn’t take my numbers for anything more than entertainment.

But yeah. Shigeo is…. a little kanji-impaired. Which explains why he struggled with Emi’s writing and is only ever seen reading Shounen Jump volumes lmao. I believe in him though. He makes it work. My illiterate king. Who needs the other half of your elementary sight-words anyway?

All jokes aside though, he really started to scare me with the 世 and 円 things 😭😭😭😭😭

#mp100 #mob psycho 100 #FINALLY IT IS DONE. This took me forever bc i’ve been SOOOO busy this past week #i’ve missed posting on here #so here’s a super long post as apology lol #i actually had a lot of fun with this #im so tired rn tho so i’m desperately hoping it makes any damn sense at all #our illiterate boy #i love him #like i said don’t take it too seriously. it’s all in good fun #kageyama shigeo #shigeo kageyama #mp100 analysis #mp100 meta #described in alt text

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fdelopera · 5 months

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Exactly, Anon. Exactly. This is why the Ivy League Universities being turned into Hamasnik terrorist bases is so horrifying. Especially with Jew-hating students attacking Jewish students and professors on campus, with the Universities' sanction. The Universities could shut these Jew-hate riots down. The fact that they don't shows that they want them to continue. They're trying to chase away the Jewish students and professors from these schools. That's always the first step. That's what the Nazis did first, too.

This article is taken from the US Holocaust Memorial Museum website. I highly recommend that everyone read the whole article. But even if you read the first paragraph, you'll see the parallels to what is happening on Ivy League campuses today:

After Adolf Hitler was appointed German Chancellor in January 1933, the new Nazi government began an effort to completely reorder public and private life in Germany.

The Nazi regime quickly targeted German universities—among the most elite in the world at the time—for restructuring according to Nazi principles. While the Nazi Ministry of Education initiated reforms, local Nazi organizations and student activists worked to bring Nazi ideals to German campuses. These forces, along with increasing antisemitism under Nazi rule, transformed everyday life at German universities. Throughout this period, students, faculty, and staff made individual decisions that both upheld and opposed Nazi ideology.

With the passage of the "Law for the Restoration of the Professional Civil Service" in 1933, most Jewish professors in Germany were dismissed from their positions. Others, such as Professor Eugen Mittwoch, were able to keep their posts temporarily only due to the political value of their research. After purging Jewish and "politically undesirable" faculty, the regime then targeted the student body with the "Law Against Overcrowding in Schools and Universities." As German authorities continued to "Aryanize" German universities, Jews increasingly lost the opportunity to teach or study. Many non-Jewish Germans sought to benefit from their persecution.

The daily business of university life continued in the wake of these new policies, but political concerns increasingly influenced the way professors and students worked and studied. The practice of denunciation, as demonstrated by the "Request for the Investigation of Professor Hans Peters," illustrates the danger posed to both students and faculty if they failed to follow new ideological norms. Those willing to voice support for the new regime—whether out of enthusiasm or practicality—often received promotions or other rewards. Meanwhile, many others quietly accepted the new policies and passively benefited from the persecution of their Jewish peers. Very few, such as the small student group in Munich known as the White Rose, took any significant action to resist the Nazi dictatorship.

The Nazi government and its supporters manipulated several aspects of the country's traditional university system to turn German higher education into a crucial source of support for the new regime. For example, the German student population had been largely male long before the Nazi rise to power, and German campuses were dominated by fraternities. Those organizations maintained traditional military discipline and dress codes, and their alumni groups exercised significant political power both before and after 1933. Fraternities—often working with the Student Council and Nazi Student League—served as a powerful and violent force for implementing Nazi principles at universities, often going beyond the party platform in their radicalism. A Report on the Camaraderie House for Female Students of Göttingen shows how Nazi student groups used the format of traditional student organizations to train both men and women to become the next generation of Nazi leaders.

Although the regime could rely on many committed student activists, the Third Reich also sought the support of German professors to lend legitimacy to their policies. Because German universities were state institutions, professors' academic careers became vulnerable to the whims and wishes of the Nazi state. While only a small minority of professors had been Nazi Party members before 1933, several prominent professors quickly voiced their support for the Third Reich. In the new German university, political loyalty was valued over academic ability in the assessment of students and in the selection and promotion of professors. Authorities infused university classrooms with Nazi ideology—as shown in the document, "Foundation of the Advanced School of the German Reich". But prioritizing politics over academics affected the quality of German higher education.

Nevertheless, professors—even enthusiastic supporters of the new regime—often spoke out against some aspects of Nazi policy. The case of Eduard Kohlrausch shows how his opposition to student-led book burnings caused his removal from the university administration. Dissent against individual policies, however, did not give rise to any concerted resistance movements. German universities as a whole formed a solid base of support for the Nazi regime, contributing valuable knowledge to the development of technology for the war effort as well as logistical support for the Holocaust.

The Nazification of universities overwhelmed the daily lives of students with new requirements, including mandatory lectures, physical exercises, labor duties, and political assemblies. Many students resented those requirements, even if they supported the Nazi Party. In Heidelberg, for example, where the daily life of students was dominated by political instruction and mandatory physical training, large numbers of students withdrew from the university in search of other educational opportunities. As illustrated in the "Memo Regarding Maria-Elisabeth Koch," students also showed varying degrees of enthusiasm for the labor service that was often required of them in territories occupied by Nazi Germany.

The Nazi government's project of remaking German universities was broadly successful, but it produced unintended consequences. The quality of education suffered significantly as classes were regularly cancelled for political assemblies and students' schedules became filled with ideological and paramilitary training. Moreover, purging Jewish faculty deprived German universities of valuable expertise. Within a few years, many observers in Germany and abroad became deeply skeptical about the quality of German higher education in the Third Reich. Propaganda efforts such as the Carl Schurz tour for American professors and students—documented with a slickly produced video—did not prevent protest. The 550th-anniversary celebration of Heidelberg University met with opposition in Europe, even while prominent American universities such as Harvard accepted invitations.

With the defeat of the Third Reich in 1945, Allied forces occupying Germany began a long-term effort to remove the influence of Nazi ideology in German society. Many German academics who made significant contributions to the Nazi war effort fled to the United States, where they lived comfortable lives and their expertise was highly valued by American universities and the US military. In postwar Germany, many faculty and students who had benefited from the Nazis' discriminatory policies without being especially vocal or enthusiastic supporters of the regime sought to cast their dissent or their silence as forms of political resistance to obscure their own complicity. Although many Germans denied having supported the Nazi regime, antisemitism persisted in postwar Germany. The case of Hermann Budzislawski shows the difficulties encountered by the relatively few German Jews who decided to return to Germany after World War II.

Sources in this collection document the choices facing students and faculty pursuing their everyday lives in the shadow of Nazism and the Holocaust. Over the course of this period, as antisemitic discrimination escalated to mass murder, the higher education system proved to be a source of support—rather than opposition—to the party's project of remaking German society.

#jumblr #jewish history #the goyim are trying to speedrun the 1930s #goyim have always naively asked “How could the Nazi regime have murdered 6 million Jews??” - and now they're giving us the answer #Jew-hate makes you stupid #NOTE: I report and block antisemites. Any antisemites who comment on this post will be reported and blocked. You have been warned.

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batmanisagatewaydrug · 3 months

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reading through all this pride parade discourse with a vague detached confusion of “why are we all talking abt this????” bc my city is weird and holds our pride parade in late september and I genuinely forget that most places hold their celebrations during actual-pride-month june

anyway, for all the people who have issue with kink at pride bc it “invokes sex” and makes them uncomfy… do you also think that we should kick out the city ministry for health who are helping educate on safe sex practices for queer sex, helping people set up sti tests, and handing out condoms and dental dams and such?? bc ngl, that’s a lot more explicitly pro-sex than the simple presence of kinksters and I have never seen anyone throw a fit abt them

yeah nobody to my knowledge is trying to ban Planned Parenthood or the county health commission or the local group that does free STI testing and case management.... I wonder if perhaps there's an underlying fear of sexuality that people are trying to to justify in the name of protecting hypothetical teenagers and ace people 🤔

#shitcourse

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ukrfeminism · 2 years

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2 minute read

Children conceived through rape will be officially classified as victims of crime under new government plans.

The changes, due to be made in the forthcoming Victims Bill, will entitle those conceived as a result of rape access to information about their case.

The legal changes will also make it easier for victims to receive support from police and the criminal justice system "whenever they may need it".

The law will cover all sexual offences which can result in pregnancy.

England and Wales are understood to be among the first nations in the world to officially confer victim status to children born of rape.

Announcing the plans, Justice Secretary Dominic Raab said: "No child born in these horrific circumstances should be left to suffer alone, which is why we must ensure they can access vital support whenever they may need it.

"Our Victims Bill will amplify their voices and boost support for all victims at every stage of the justice system."

The Commons Justice Committee recommended the amendments to the draft Bill, following calls from campaign groups to change the law.

The statutory 'Victims' Code' sets out the rights available to all victims who report a criminal offence to the police.

The cross-party Justice Select Committee found individuals who believe they were born as a result of rape currently find it "unnecessarily difficult" to get help, including information about their case, because they are not defined by the Code as victims - and guidance is unclear.

The change in law will entitle them to make a complaint to the police, in their own right - and to receive information and access support in the same way as any other victim of crime.

Under the ministry's plans, that help could be accessed at any point in their lives, to address issues including alcohol or drug dependency, education and housing benefit.

Research by academics for the Centre for Women's Justice (CWJ), who lobbied for the change, estimate that more than 3,000 children may have been conceived after rape in England and Wales in 2021 alone.

The change, dubbed 'Daisy's Law' by the CWJ, is named after a campaigner who born as a result of a historic rape in the 1970s.

The CWJ said there was evidence that both mothers and children who are rape victims, will "often suffer from attachment difficulties and poor mental health, which in turn can profoundly negatively affect a child's development and educational outcomes, as well as his/her wellbeing in adulthood".

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dramioneasks · 9 months

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Top 10 Most Favourited (Completed) Fics on FFNET of 2023:

Wilted Rose and Muddy Blood: A Dramione Fic by Raptor.Elephant - M, 25 chapters, Words: 34,001 - Lavender Brown makes a bet with Hermione that she can't win over the Slytherin Prince in a month. Hermione wonders why she agreed... she could never stand a chance of winning, right? Rated for minor adult themes and language. R&R. COMPLETE... FINALLY!

The Education of a Lady by thewanderers'wanderingdaughter - M, 34 chapters, Words: 365,605 - COMPLETE. Fourth and final (for real this time) part in the His Little Bird series. The story of survival, betrayal, and tragedy. A monster took everything from her. Now she's expected to be a willing participant in the world he's built for them. They want her to become one of them. She only wants vengeance, and now that she has her power back, she can make that a reality.

If Only by SarahFraser - M, 25 chapters, Words: 99,891 - Fourteen years after Draco and Hermione break up, Draco accompanies his son, Scorpius, to Kings Cross for his first year at Hogwarts. Thirteen-year-old twins, Mila and Milo, get their first in person glimpse of the father that abandoned them before birth. After Mila confronts her father for abandoning them, Draco seeks Hermione out on the platform to find out what the hell is going

I'm a What? He's My What? Well Hell! by clumsydolphin - T, 18 chapters, Words: 34,168 - This is a very unusual Veela tale! I promise if ya peek inside it's a surprise! Now complete!

Blackmailed by Mistress Lynn - M, 14 chapters, Words: 49.867 - Draco finds out something pertaining to the war that Hermione would do anything to prevent from getting out. How far is she willing to go to protect her secret? DM/HG, Draco M./Hermione G. 7th Year Hogwarts, war AU, Dramione, lots of banter! COMPLETE! WINNER: 2022 Top Dramione Fics on Reddit, 2nd Place Dom!Draco (but he's totally a switch here)

Mother: Unknown by HufflepuffMommy - M, 42 chapters, Words: 108,211 - After the battle, Draco Malfoy was given something he never thought he wanted—a daughter. The only problem? He didn't know who the mother of his child was. Six years after the war, Hermione Granger moves to the states, to a small coastal town in Maine. There, she runs into a familiar wizard—along with his outgoing, precious daughter. NOW COMPLETE!

Fireworks by cleotheo - T, 10 chapters, Words: 25,510 - A party at the end of seventh year results in major life changes for Harry Potter and Hermione Granger, including the loss of their best friend, Ron Weasley. Can a reunion several years later fix the rift, or are some things too broken to ever be fixed? Reunion style story.

Old Friends by cleotheo - T, 10 chapters, Words: 25,453 - When Ron Weasley returns to Wizarding Britain after five years away he is dismayed to find his place in life seems to have been usurped by a certain former Slytherin. But how far will Ron go to get back the life, and the witch, he believes should be his?

Teach Me How to Forget by scullymurphy - M, 20 chapters, Words: 110,321 - Hermione Granger is 27 years old when her life falls apart. Cheated-on, flatless, in a dead end job, she decides to change one thing she can-take a class and try for some career advancement. But change is never easy, especially when an old enemy is the catalyst-and the class instructor.

Designations by sbz0702 - M, 35 chapters, Words: 85,293 - In the aftermath of the Battle of Hogwarts and the end of the Wizarding War, all Seventh- and Eighth-Year students are required to return to Hogwarts to complete their magical educations. When they arrive, they discover that the Ministry has been tampering with nature and biology...and they've all been affected... EWE, non-Canon compliant

#dramione #year wrap up #favourite fics #2023 #ffnet

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1-800-local-whore · 2 years

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Lucky

Marauders!Sirius Black x Innocent fem!Reader

Lucky - Britney Spears

warnings : sex, arranged marriage, cold husband, suspicion to cheating (no actual cheating), pregnancy-mentioned, angst, hurt, hemophilia, mention of blood, {probably missed something}, no y/n used, no physical description of reader

a/n : my work from wattpad. do not steal, copy, or repost {as in take and claim as your own work}. Enjoy babes.

words : 12k

This is a story about a girl named Lucky

Her whole life, she knew. She knew her adult life was planned out for her, laid down like bricks. Every detail inscribed down to when she would have children and how many. It was something accepted, something she honestly was somewhat excited for.

An arranged marriage was awaiting her, the only problem was to who. That was still a question. It was the same thing that had happened to her parents, all she wished for was it would become the same marriage. Her father was not the best man, he was greedy and always searching for more fortune. But his love for her mother was real.

The marriage had started off very professional but over the time the couple grew to love each other and that blossomed into a real partnership, as if they had been soulmates the whole time. She wanted even just a sliver of that feeling between her and her predetermined husband.

Many bachelors have come along in an endeavor to just have one date with her. She had rejected all of them, mostly because she did not want to become attached just to leave them for a marriage between families. Her schooling years were lonely for that fact, but she had her best friend to lean against. Regulus Black, a boy a few months older than her. The pair had been close ever since their first year. The sorting had placed her in Slytherin and she sat next to him at the table.

Over the years they had spend many hours together, even had sleepovers during Holidays. Everything about their relationship was the definition of platonic. Going to each other about relationship issues (mostly on Reggie's side) and homework (also mostly on his part). Their families encouraged the companionship hardcore, both being from respected pure-blood families. Neither one every being jealous of the other. Strictly best friends, childhood best friends.

In addition to the relations between the young students, came spending time with his older brother. Her and Sirius never had a falling out, rarely ever spoke to each other actually. But the rare occasion they did, it was not unpleasant but she could tell he would have rather been any where else. It would be a lie to say she did not find him attractive. Sirius Black was a very attractive man, just always cold towards her. Always coming off slightly rude with rushed conversation, looking anywhere but at her. Her heart pang with hurt each time, but she would push it down and think about her mystery husband.

What would he be like? Would he be cruel and unkind towards her, resentful even? Or would he cherish her like a delicate flower and look at her like a queen? These questions always flooded her mind. He could be freshly out of school or older than her own father.

"Do you think he's our age Reggie?" she floated into the air, staring at the ceiling from her friends bed.

Regulus was deep in thought, looking down at the question he had just answered. Muttering a "not sure" to her, before asking for a check on the answer.

"No, it's mandrake." She responded flopping back on the bed as he went back to hunching over his desk.

"Why do you even need this class? It has nothing to do with your future?" She continued to question him. And he of course, did not have an answer for her.

The teenagers had finished their last year at Hogwarts the year prior, both deciding to further their education. Regulus was attempting to enter the ministry for a job that she could not ever remember. She had started her training in becoming a healer, caring for people had always come naturally for her so why not make a career out of it.

Their parents had formed a bond with each other because of the two kids. The families were having a small dinner together at the Black residence. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing exciting, plus the best friends got to see each other. They enjoyed each other's company. So much so that many rumors went around school that they had coupled off, which was far from the truth. She had seen this boy with vomit all over his body from partying the night before, cleaned him up too. If any romantic feelings were harbored, well they just were not on either part. They told each other everything, down to the last, little detail.

There was a knock on the door, waiting for Regulus to allow them to come in. Kreacher popped his head into the room, telling them that supper was ready to be served and they were requested to the dining room. They walked down together, laughing at stupidly fond memories of other Slytherins and mishaps that happened at school.

When they make it to the room, their parents are waiting. Father's had the head of the table, mothers chatting across from each other. Regulus sat next her at the table, in the spots the usually occupy, basically giggling to each other. Talking lowly to not be shushed and told to stop fooling around. The group had been waiting some time, food should be out any time now. The doors of the grand room open and close loudly when someone steps through them.

Sirius Black. It was rare he joined them in supper. His leather jacket wrapped around his body as a perfect fit, complimenting his body. She noticed his hair was almost to his shoulders with a slight curl. Nothing really compared to the short, curly hair his brother sported. He looked majestic almost with the way his hair shook as he walked to the chair right in front of her. Boots thumping against the ground each step he took. Her heartbeat seemed like it was mimicking the sounds as he moved closer.

She could also see the slight smudge of red lipstick on the collar of the jacket and the faintest smell of floral perfume. She looked down at her lap, she knew that scent. Nadia Antonov. A gorgeous woman that was the same age as Sirius. She had moved just before Hogwarts from Russia, her accent still held prevalent in her English to this day. She was tall, slim, and pale. She had beautiful dark hair and piercing eyes, breath-taking. She had also been an on and off again girlfriend of Sirius's. One of the two girlfriends she had known he had. She looked down at her plate when he sat down across her, feeling his eyes on her. He was never outright mean to her but she could feel the judgement radiating off him every time they were near each other.

"Glad you decided to join us tonight son." His father spoke uninterested.

"You forced me." Sirius spoke flat.

"Might as well get to it then. Sirius, you and Y/N are getting married soon. Congratulations." His mother spoke quick, clapping her hands together excitedly.

Her eyes widened, looking up from her lap. Immediately at Regulus, who wore an apologetic smile. She was marrying Sirius Black of all people. She transferred her gaze to her parents, the smiles on their face were radiant. Something she could not feel for the person directly across from her. She could practically feel the anger radiating for him.

"Her? HER! Of all people, you give me her?" His voice was somewhat calm, but spit venom.

She refused to look at him, instead opted to pick at the fabric of her skirt near her knee. His words stung enough, she did not need to see the look of disgust he would be wearing as well. The feeling weighted heavy on her chest, her soon-to-be husband's disgust towards her. All types of insecurities filled her, bursting at the seems.

She flinched at the sound of his fists hitting the supper table, eyes squeezing shut tightly to drown out the screaming match between Sirius and his mother. Only picking up bits about how rude he was being and that it wouldn't matter in the end because their decision was final. She tried to reach for Regulus's hand, seeking comfort from him. But he refused, pulling his hand away and sitting back in his seat in a huff of anger.

Sirius began to storm out of the room.

"Weddings in December. Be ready." That was all his father spoke the entire time before moving on to a discussion with her father.

The entire dinner was held in silence only suffocating the two friends, the adults continued as if nothing had happened just prior until they were excused from the table. She followed her friend back up to his bedroom, his steps quick and long. She could barely keep up with him, his irritating sighing doing nothing to help her own feelings. He only turned towards her when they reached the archway into his bedroom.

"You were the one thing I had that he did not. You were my friend. Now you don't even have a choice. He still gets you, he still gets to steal from me. He has taken anything I have ever gotten, you were something he could not have. You were just supposed to be my annoying best fucking friend." Regulus ranted, blocking the entrance to the room.

"Reggie, I can still be your friend." She was afraid her voice would betray her, it did.

"I..." he huffed "I'm not sure I want something of his."

"Oh."

She nodded in understanding. She knew his feelings towards his brother, very particular about certain things. She was an understanding person, she knew his emotions were high and how well he could communicate them. He just needed time to adjust, they all needed time. But time was against them, December was only a month away. This wedding was going to happen no matter who protested and was going to happen when it was said to. There was no changing anyone's mind. She smiled sadly at her friend before asking him to move so she could collect her things.

"I think it's best if I leave now. I'll see you soon Reg." She spoke quietly with a broken voice. Her attempts to hold back on crying were almost deceiving her.

"No. You don't have to leave.." She cut him off.

"It's okay Reggie, really. It's a big change, everyone needs some time to process it."

With that she walked out of his room, a questionable feeling in her chest. She knew this marriage hurt her friend, after Sirius's outburst it hurt her too. But there was no time for pity, she just had to push through it. She walked to her mother. Both her and Walburga were chatting in a living space. No doubt about the wedding based on the swatches laid along the table in front of them.

"Hello mother, Mrs. Black. Thank you for the wonderful evening. But I must be off, I have an important exam coming up. I look forward to the next time I see you." She wore her best smile, one that gave the facade of happiness.

"As well" Walburga addressed the girl

before moving back to her mother, holding up another poring of colors and went deep into discussion once again.

Early morning, she wakes up

It's time for makeup, perfect smile

That announcement had been over a month ago. Today was the day of the wedding. It was a month built in isolation, she had not seen Sirius since, or really even Regulus. If it had not been for her healer classmates, she would have not spoken to anyone the entire time. Her world has been a quiet chaos, overwhelming her with no sign of stopping for a long time. The lonely feeling lodging itself deep into her chest, stuffing up her throat without a centimeter of air to flow through.

Her mother had her woken up early, barely past dawn. The wedding was not for hours, but she started prepping the event. She went into the bathroom to an already filled tub, steam rolling of the porcelain tub. The bathroom was honestly the only place she had recently for peace. Stripping out of her pajamas, she dipped into the scorching water, letting the water take over her body. The heat felt amazing against her stresses body.

She wordlessly flicked on the radio she had on the counter. With closed eyes, she relaxed into the water with an earful of "Try A Little Tenderness" by Otis Redding. It had been a favorite of her song and even musician since she was a little girl, dreaming about her very own wedding that was only hours away now. She was not really dreading the wedding per se, everything was just extremely stressful. Soaking in the water was a must have for today. She hummed along to the beat, running water along her arms with a soaped cloth.

She scrubbed her head, trying to cleanse the self doubt away. She did not want today to be miserable, but she feared that was out of her grasp. Dunking herself, water rushed filling her ears. Making her feel as physically heavy as she had been emotionally. Coming up only for a gasp of air before quickly submerging again. It had finally come time to step from the safety of her tub, only when her mother knocked relentlessly letting her know her time was running out.

The entire day was spent pampering, trying to get everything perfect to the finest detail. She would be officially wed in four hours, the finishing touches were placed on her face. Staring back in the mirror, it felt like someone else in her shoes. Not that it was a bad thing, she felt confident and beautiful, especially once her hair was pulled and pinned in a way that looked ethereal. This was the girl her younger self always pictured would be standing at the alter, dolled up in a white dress.

Stepping into the dress felt unreal, especially once it was completely zipped up on her body. The long, solid sleeves clung to her arms before cutting off at the wrists. The collar sitting lower on her chest, just enough for her collarbones to be on display. The neckline V'd towards the center of the chest, hugging at the waist before flowing outwards as the fabric reached the floor. The dress was fitted perfectly and made her feel like a real princess, like a queen.

The "couple" were to be wed in Black manor, which sort of stresses her out. The last time she had entered that place, nothing good came of it. But she was optimistic about today. Ready for it to bring new opportunities and chances. She arrived a few hours before with her mother, again touching up her makeup and hair before slipping on her white heels and giving herself a once over again in the mirror. 'Ready as I'll every be' she thought, wiping her sweaty hands down the side of her dress. She sat at the vanity waiting for the time to come.

She really had no say in anything about the wedding. Her only suggestion was to include the gold color, not because she wanted it to look or be expensive. The color relaxed her, the shininess gave a weird comfort. 'The color of wisdom, though many only see the greed that follows gold around." She could not remember who told her that, but it stuck. All she hoped was that it was included in some aspects, give her some control over this situation, over her life.

It felt like years, waiting in a desolate room by herself. Her mind racing, constantly going over the date. December 16, 1980. December 16, 1980. She was only eighteen, her husband twenty-one. Everything felt so quick, so rushed. Her chest felt it was caving in on itself, her dress was restricting airflow to her lungs. Drowning, that's what it felt like. She was drowning, suffocating from the pressure of her life. Hysteric is almost how she felt, pacing back and forth in the cold room. She's been wallowing in stress and the threat of tears for hours now. The pressure behind her eyes and between her temples screamed against them. They were centimeters away from falling when a light knock filled the silent space.

She moved slowly towards the door, it should not have been time yet. She slowly opened the door, her body hidden and only an eye peeking through.

"Hi!" A brightly, loving smile filled her vision, along with the bright red hair, "do you mind if I come in?"

She did not speak, but let the woman in. It was Lily Evans, or Potter now. Her and James had gotten married the summer before, she had heard about it through the papers and Regulus.

"I know how stressful today can be, and it's never fun to be completely isolated!" Lily took a seat on the ottoman at the end of the bed, "are you crying blood?"

Lily jumped up from her seat trying to tend to the girl.

"No." her voice small "Well yes, but this happens."

She waved Lily off, grabbing a white cloth and dabbed away the pink tinted tears she had not realized shedded. Although the company was refreshing, she and Lily had never been friends. She looked up to Lily academically during school and admired her for her stubborn and self-assured attitude she always wore. As if reading her mind.

"Marrying into this family is a change. I mean I married James, but Sirius is basically his brother. He's a good man, stupid, but good. Everything will fall into place. Hopefully his head levels off soon." She let out a little laugh, easing the tense mood that held the air originally. "Besides, you look gorgeous. Anyone could see that!"

She and Lily spent the next several minutes chatting like they were old friends. Lily welcomed a warm light, and a comforting presences in the dark manor they were currently occupying. She helped apply finishing touches physically and mentally, trying to help the girl feel as beautiful as she looked. Even quickly removing a light pink stain from the chest of the dress with her permission.

"So, I'll see you at the after party at James and I's house? Harry is with my parents for the weekend, I could not be more excited for this party!" Lily cooed at the thought of a normal weekend.

"What?" She was confused, what party.

"Sirius put it together. Oh I'll see you later." Lily left as her mother barged into the room, ready to usher her daughter to the alter where her husband was waiting.

She took the time the think about what Lily had said. Sirius had put an after party together? Maybe it was a surprise for after the wedding, a peace offering between the soon to be wed. She could not dwell on the thoughts for too long. A bouquet was stuffed into her hands as her father inter locked their arms. Her mother masked her face with the sheer vail, clapping her hands together before rushing back into the room that held the Black family, Her own family, and Sirius's friends.

The organ vibrates the floor as a wedding tune began to play, signaling the entrance of the bride. As the doors opened, the rows of people stood and faced them. Her heartbeat was in her throat, all the eyes on her was overwhelming, she noticed one set was on anything but her. Sirius could not bring himself to even glance in her direction. A stabbing sensation filled her heart and lungs, he could at least acknowledge she was suffering as well as he was in the arrangement.

Towards the end of the rows, she spotted Lily, who wore a bright smile and gave her the thumbs up in encouragement. She took a deep breath and continued with her fathers pace before reaching the alter. Sirius looked unimpressed and bored with the whole function. Maybe that was why she felt so guilty for finding him incredible attractive in this moment.

Sirius was wearing a black suit, crisp and tailored to his toned body. A sleek, black tie laid over the black vest that's as snug to his torso. The black overcoat fell off his shoulders, a white undershirt contrasting the dark colors. His hair was slicked back on the sides, the ends curled in an orderly fashion. A sight she had never seen, usually he had unkempt curls framing his face. He looked pale, with a slight shadow of facial hair peeking through the undertones of his clear skin. He was breathtaking to say the least, but his eyes bothered her. They almost held disgust or distaste, an uncomfortable feeling filled her chest. She knew she was not the pick of the litter but marrying her could not have been that bad.

He reluctantly moved the vail behind her head. Peering down at her for a second before moving his eyes away from her quickly. The officiant had begun, his deep voice spooking her more than bringing comfort. Truthfully, his gravely voice upset her. It was scary, she was already terrified by the scene unfolding in front of her. She zoned out, not listening to a word said until a knife was held in front of her face. Sirius took it hastily, and sliced a small cut into his hand. Reluctantly, she did the same. Wincing at the sharp blade against the palm of her hand, almost crying because of the painful cut. She did not handle pain very well.

The officiant spoke a few more words as blood oozed from both their hands. He ushered the pair to connect their right hands together, the ones that had been cut. He placed the respective rings onto their left ring fingers, a weird, tingly sensation spread through their veins with the mingling of their blood being the source. The Black family wanted them to be tied to each other by blood, thus having their interlocked fingers start to burn as the union became almost painful.

They were finally allowed to release each other, the officiant casting a spell to heal and clean their hands.

"I, now pronounce you as Mr. and Mrs. Sirius Black."

Both their respective families clapped formally. But Sirius's friends whooped and hollered at the union. As the newly weds walked passed them on the way out, James gave a loud wolf whistle, causing Lily to smack him in the chest.

The couple walked completely out of the house into an awaiting carriage. The ride was silent, she had no idea where they were even heading. Sirius had still not spoken to her, and she was unsure when or if he ever would. It shows that he was still extremely upset about the arrangement. The carriage stopped after about thirty minutes of flying, outside of a townhouse. The magical house appeared completely wedged between the other muggle houses. Sirius silently entered the home, as if he knew his way around it already. He silently went up the stairs, she stayed in the entrance basking in the place.

Sirius ran down the steps with hefty stomps, grumbling as he did so.

"Welcome home. I'm going out, so don't wait up for me. Your room is on the left." His words were fast as he pushed past and out the door. It clicked shut with a loud clash, causing her to squeeze her eyes shut and tense.

Instead of dwelling on the boy, she moved up the stairs to find the room he was talking about. It was decorated the exact same as her room back at her parents house. It was the first thing this entire day, or even this month to bring her any comfort. She flopped down on her bed, still in her full wedding attire. The events of today settled in. She was finally married, to a young and handsome man. Whom had just left her alone for the night, the night of her wedding. Tears started pouring out of her eyes now as loud sobs wracked the whole house. He was going to a party he planned for their wedding and did not even tell her about it. Lily told her, Lily said she would see her later. Now she wondered what Sirius was going to tell all of them.

Mascara and eyeliner ran down her cheeks, her face became streaky as she sunk into the bed. She was alone on her wedding night, the most joyous day of her life. Well what was supposed to be joyous.

She changed into an old, battered long sleeve night shirt and fluffy pajama pants, before she charmed her hair to just lay in a ratted bun instead of pinned together like before. She did not even bother washing her face, leaving the remanence of her pain on her face. It would leave another painful reminder in the morning but she did not care at the moment. Her body and mind was extremely fatigued from the events of the day.

She silently crept down the stairs, exploring only slightly while trying to locate the kitchen. She knew if this was Sirius's home there would be alcohol somewhere. She hit the jackpot after opening one cabinet in the kitchen. She grabbed a bottle of fire whiskey, forgoing a glass, she popped the seal off and gave it a big chug.

Once she was back in her room, she turned her record player on that had been moved into her room. Playing her favorite record, she once again today sang along to "Try A Little Tenderness", while crying into a bottle of whiskey that was soothing her soul slightly after every chug. Soon the bottle was empty and so were her tears, she just laid on her bed and listened to the song on repeat.

Isn't she lovely, this Hollywood girl

And they say

She's so lucky

It was March, spring smells started filling the air slowly. She and Sirius had been married for around four months now, four long, lonely, and cold months. They never spent anytime together, other than the slight PDA at family gatherings and galas. The bare minimum of an arm around the other for a few seconds of the night. His mother had been shoving the ideas of an heir, the pressure of continuing their pure-blood legacy with another Black to join the bunch. This would not have been such a bad idea, but their marriage was not consummated yet. She was not really sure if it ever will be.

She sat at a table, body clad with a darling dress. It was a baby blue, long sleeved dress. Flowing down passed her feet, a low slit running up the side. A drastic contrast to the dark colors of the people around her. Champagne buzzed through her system, making her brain a little fuzzy and her cheeks a tint of red. Her husband was no where to be found at the moment, she had just escaped his mother with more pressuring of a child.

She had recently been thinking of children. The house is very lonely, mostly just occupying her and a sweet, little elf named Peekey. She enjoyed their shared moments in the solitude of the dead home. Sirius was always away for work, or out on the weekends with Remus. Nothing was really confining her to the home, but with no friends outside of Healing School, she spent many cold nights alone in her bed.

"Your mother is such a... pest!" She whispered out to Regulus. Looking around to make sure no one was listening.

One thing had come from attending all of these gatherings. Her friendship with Regulus has rekindled, after hours filled with tears and sobs from both ends. Now they often spent most of the evenings at parties with each other. Regulus was much more intoxicated then she was. She did not mind though, the feeling of taking care of someone and them depending on her, filled her heart with happiness.

"Woah there, no need for name calling." Regulus snorted with rolled eyes. "Honestly, pest is too nice of a word."

"I'm serious Reggie. She keeps bombarding me with questions of a child! Sirius and I have not even..." Regulus cut his friend off.

"I do not need to hear about the sex life of my brother."

She huffed, stressed from the nights antics already. "I was going to say kissed."

She sipped more on her glass of champagne, scanning the room for any familiar faces. Only ones she did not really feel like conversing with in the moment. Polishing off her glass, she watched Regulus down another shot before stomping away towards the bathroom. While he was away, she refilled her glass and swirled it around. Many people gawked at her, mostly younger women with a few exceptions to older ones. In awe of the woman who married THE Sirius Black. They would constantly ask questions about what marriage was like to such a dreamy man. Call it what you want, but she wanted some fun with her life. She would make up wild stories of adventures and dates they had been on. Not wanting to crush their dreams of a doting husband, they would all fawn over sweet stories she would make up on the spot. Giggling slightly to herself when they would comment on how loving he seemed. Some even asked for dirty details, which she would flat out avoid talking about. Not only did she not know anything about Sirius sexually, she had no experience herself to fabricate a believable story. The questions were also extremely personal and uncomfortable for her.

"Oh dear, why don't you go find your husband. Call it an early night, you know. Heirs do not just make themselves." Walberga placed a gloved hand on her shoulder, ushering her to find Sirius with more comments on children.

She did not look very hard for Sirius, he was probably already gone. She was stationed near the restrooms, searching for her drunk friend. She spotted him across the room at the refreshment table once more. She quickly gathered him up, pulling the alcoholic beverage out of his hands and onto the table.

"Okay Reg, time to go home."

The journeys home with drunk Regulus are always a fun trip. They stopped around three times on the ride home for him to throw up outside of the carriage. Upon returning to her shared home, he spewed about twice, once on her shoes. She cleaned him up, tipping a glass of water into his mouth. She changed him into one of the spare sets of clothes he kept in her room, an agreement they made after Regulus had woken up in a puke-drenched shirt.

She laid him in her bed and walked to the connected bathroom to ready herself for bed. Her body felt the relief as the dress slipped off her body, she hung it up on the closet door. Switching into way less formal and more ratty sleeping clothes. Her hair pulled back messily, and her face cleansed of make up. They had at least three more events to make an appearance at within the next two weeks. Events she was dreading because his mother would be there.

Regulus was sprawled out on her bed, looking as if he was in a deep sleep. As she laid herself under the covers, he rolled towards her.

"You know, I'm a Black." He stated.

She giggled at his statement, "I do know that Reggie."

He laughed a bit groggy, rolling onto his other side.

"I just mean, I can give an heir and no one would question the paternity." He mumbled.

"What!?" She sort of yelled at her friend. The only response was loud snores from her drunk friend. Drunk, he was drunk. That's what she kept reminding herself as she tried to fall asleep.

The next morning, she decided to just forget what Regulus had proposed. He was beyond drunk and just processing the things she had said hours before.

Regulus woke up at some point in the afternoon, gladly accepting the potions she had to cure his hangover. Already having some food and water prepared for him, doting on people was a way she showed love. The thought of having someone to care for kept her heart beating.

"You know, I meant what I said last night."

"What?" The color draining from her face.

"I know mother can be... overbearing. Sirius does not seem like he would help you in this situation. I'm his brother and your best friend. Let me do this to make up for my actions when the marriage was announced." He held her hand, sitting up on her bed with the covers bunched around his clothed body.

"I don't know Reg, I still don't think I could do that to Sirius." She frowned with a sigh, truthfully she thinks that kids would make her life happier.

"Think about it as a friend helping a friend? Just think about it and the offer will stand. But for now, I gotta go. Work calls me in a few hours unfortunately."

Regulus left giving her one last "think about it" before heading to his home. The hours of the day dragged on slowly. She was not sure that Sirius would be home, but decided on making supper for them anyway. Which lead to another cold, and lonely night shared with her house elf.

She is so lucky, but why does she cry?

If there is nothing missing in her life

Why do tears come at night?

There was a birthday party at the Potter's today. For little Harry, his first birthday. Sirius had actually told her about this party and asked if she wanted to go. Granted he asked about two days ago, but nonetheless. This was the first event with his friends that he had asked her to tag along with in the seven months they had been married.

"Oh finally! I have been trying to get you to come over for months now!" Lily exclaimed towards the girl as she entered, taking the present for her son out of the girls hands and gave her a swift hug. "I tell Sirius to bring you every time he comes over, I was starting to think you don't like us."

This caught her off guard. She didn't even know Lily well enough to really dislike her, but the fact that she wanted her to come over and Sirius never told her.

"I'm sorry Lily, I've been having some... health issues recently."

"Are you-" She cut Lily off quickly.

"Oh no, not that. School and health issues. I'm always drained or doing some tests, but I finally had a free weekend and couldn't be happier to be here."

Although, there was a ping of sadness for her conversation with Lily. Plus, watching Harry all night did not help with the yearn for a child of her own. She never could find a time to bring it up to Sirius.

And again, she went home alone that night. Sirius jetting off to the bar with Remus, or at least that was what Remus told her they were doing. But she did not really care in the moment. She had a good day, left the house, spent time with old acquaintances from school, and got to see cute babies all day. Nothing could put her in a down mood.

It was around, roughly 9 p.m. when the doorbell rang. She was little surprised by that, normally Regulus called ahead and just walked in. Remus would walk in especially if he was with Sirius. She made her way down from her room, in only a tank top and shorts due to the temperature rising outside.

"Hello?" She answered the door a bit drowsy considering she was almost asleep a minute prior.

"Oh 'ello, little von. Is Sirius 'ome?" It was Nadia.

Nadia, Sirius's girlfriend before the arraignment was made. She looked as beautiful as ever standing in front of her in all her tall glory. It just did not make sense to her why she would be at her home.

"Oh, um no sorry. He isn't home right now." Her voice timid, like she was afraid to answer the woman in front of her.

"Shame. Wanted to tell 'em I had great time with 'em the other day. That I can not wait for next time. You tell 'em day for me?" Her smile looked devilish, like she was smirking in a triumphant victory.

The wind seemed knocked from her lungs and ears clogged.

"Sure, I'll let him know. You have nice night and be safe." She spoke before closing the door as the beautiful woman sauntered down the stairs to the house.

She felt like tears were going to explode out of her eyes, she did not understand why it hurt so much. She felt so dumb, of course he was cheating on her. She also felt stupid for being upset, Sirius treated her considerable good for what some arranged marriages have been, the relatives she's seen. He is not abusive, just they do not communicate. He can be cold towards her when they speak, the little they do speak, but he has never been extremely cruel towards her.

She feels betrayed in a way, she put her happiness aside to stay loyal to a man who could careless about her in general. Without thinking she picked up the landline in the kitchen and dialed Regulus's number.

"I've changed my mind Reggie. I want a baby. Meet at my house Friday night." She did not even wait for him to respond before placing the phone back down.

Her school had just let out for the year, her week was so barren that she decided she would not waste a single night sober. Starting tonight, she took a cheap bottle of wine up to her bedroom, listening to music, and sipping on the bottle. She thought about her life once more. What had she done to deserve this? She was always good, always listening and obeying. She did not reject the idea of marrying someone her parents paired her to, even when it meant losing a friend. Now her husband is cold and unfaithful. She could handle him being cold and resenting towards her, but the fact that he would seek comfort in someone else. It just hurt, was she not pretty enough for him? Not his type? Was he repulsed by the idea of her so much that he spent every weekend and day he could away from her and their shared home. She was not even invited to her own weddings after party because her husband arranged it without telling her.

She feels silly, she's living a comfortable life that anyone would be happy to have. Technically she is married to The Sirius Black, any girl would swoon at those thoughts. Her home is a decent size, enough for her to have her own space. She had doting elves that are just too cute, lavish parties that require gorgeous dresses and expensive jewelry to attend. Riches from an old, wealthy family, though she does not dive into their funds and uses her own money. Except when her mother in law gives her money for dresses. She was about to start her own healing career. Her life was like a dream come true to others, making her feel selfish for wanting more. Pathetic for crying and drinking over what is considered minor in their marriage.

This went on more about two more days, drinking until she passed out, throwing up on her sheets, sobering up enough to change them and lounge around for the rest of the day, barricading in her room. She took two days off of drinking, her stash was running low and she needed to run to the store. But she felt no motivation to leave her bed.

Thursdays were days Sirius did not work, so he normally went out on Wednesdays. She assumed he had been gone for hours now, she was half a bottle of whiskey deep, and now out of alcohol. But she was not done for tonight, not even close. With the day approaching for Regulus to show up, the more nervous she got, the more nervous she was the more scared she became. Life moved so fast for her, she was not even twenty yet. But this how life goes for the woman in her family and many others. The fact that she was yet to conceive a child was alarming to her parents and Sirius's, although they did not know they had not even tried.

Not her best moment, but decided she would go to the store in this moment for more alcohol. The air was bit colder than she thought, hugging herself she stumbles down the paved side walk, clutching money in one of her hands. Singing quietly to herself, a strong breeze almost knocked her over. She stumbled almost to the ground, laughing at the fact before steadying herself and continuing towards the store.

She bumped shoulders with a tall, lanky man.

"Oops! Sorry Sir." She giggled before walking forward.

The man gently grabbed her arm, pulling her towards him and around to face him.

"What are you doing out this late?" He asked, almost sounding concerned.

"Oh hi Remus! Jus- gettin' more of me whiskeyyyy, I ran out." She pouted at the end of her sentence.

"You really shouldn't be out at night, especially drunk and alone. Where are your shoes?" She looked down at her bare feet, toes stiffly wiggling in the cold.

"Oh!" she giggled "must've forgotten them? I jus-really got out of me bed." Her accent coming through a little thicker.

"Okay, you barely have clothes, let's get you home. Where is Sirius?" Remus questioned, leaning forward to help the girl lean against him. Taking the cash from her hand when she complained about it cramping.

"Ion knowww... thought he was with youuu!!" She poked his belly slightly before focusing back on her stepping.

"You know, hodoubenekakskndbrehisyxh."

"What did you say?" Remus laughed at her incoherent speech a little bit.

"I have no idea." She hiccuped and held tighter around his waist when she felt she was about to fall.

"You are pretty entertaining little one, you should come out with us some time."

"Sirius never invites me, didn't even 'vite me to me own wedding party." She grumbled.

Remus grimaced, eyebrows furrowed, "he did not invite you?"

"Nope, Lily told me. But why go somewhere I am unwanted you know.

"We want you there. You are our friends wife, we want to be your friend too." Remus reasoned with her.

"Maybe. But some people do not. That's okay though, it doesn't matter." Her body shutters as the urge to cry flows up into her eyes. She's unable to control the tears that flow down.

Remus stops when he hears her sobbing. "Hey it's okay, there is no need to- is that blood? Why are your tears red? Are you crying blood? Oh shit!! What do I..."

Remus started to freak out, but she calmed him down in a second.

"It's a medical 'dition. I 'cry blood' sometimes. I fine, promise." She smiled at him as he wiped her eyes, but another wave of tears washes over her. "I think Sirius is cheating on me."

Remus stiffened, "why do you think that?"

"Nadia came over the other day. Said so, with her too. Are we almost home, I'm tired."

Remus picked her up and carried her the block back to her home, he had been heading this way originally. But him and Sirius had some matter to discuss currently. When he reached the home someone was outside, in front of the door.

Regulus had also shown up wanted to speak to Sirius. Remus set her down in Regulus grasp, she giggled to her friend, telling him stupid jokes and how much she loved him as her best friend. The door was locked and she did not have her keys on her. Remus started banging on the door, waiting for Sirius to open up.

The sight behind the door on Sirius's end was honestly hilarious. His best friend looking slightly irritated, his brother worried and almost nervous, and his wife smiling and drunk beyond recollection.

"We need to talk." Remus said flat.

The group moved inside.

"I need to talk with you too brother, but I'm going to take care of her first." Regulus walked her up the stairs and out of the vision of the other boys.

"So what is it you need to talk about Rem." Sirius asked relaxed, lounging on the couch, assuming Remus would follow.

"Are you serious?" Remus stood in front of him.

"Yes?" Sirius looked confused.

"No you fucking idiot. I found YOUR wife drunk and alone, almost into the middle of the town. Barely clothed, no shoes, and a wad of cash in her hands." Remus tried to keep his voice steady, tossing the cash into Sirius's chest.

"Oh. I had no idea she was gone." Sirius felt uncomfortable under his friends gaze.

"She told me how you don't invite her out with us on the weekends, and I know Lily practically begs you. Did you really not invite her to the party after your-HER wedding." Remus's voice was fluctuating between anger and disappointment.

Sirius closed his eyes. He felt horrible about how he had been treating her, how cold he had been. How stand-offish, but truthfully he just did not know how to process and handle his emotions.

"Merlin Sirius! Do you know anything about your wife?" Remus exclaimed, gripping his hair in irritation.

"Not really." He sighed, holding his face in his hands.

"She cries blood."

"She- what? She was bleeding? Was she okay?" Sirius perked up at the mention of blood.

"No! She cries blood apparently, her tears have a red tint in them." Remus softened his voice looking at his shocked friend.

Sirius knew he fucked up, he knew that three months into their marriage, he knew that the hours after their officiated ceremony. He felt bad, horrible, but he did not know how to fix it.

"She thinks you are cheating on her." Remus spoke, his voice becoming strict.

"What? I'm not cheating on her." Sirius looked confused. He had been faithful to her, although he was cold, he would never cheat on someone. "You know I would never, not after... not after her."

"I know that. But does she. I guess Nadia came over the other, told her to tell you what a great time she had and you should see each other again. Sirius have you two even... consummated the marriage?" Sirius shook his head, causing a groan to slip from Remus's mouth, "I know you wouldn't but please tell me you didn't." Remus was extremely serious. Although he was not her friend, he knew how sweet and kind she normally was. She was different from all the girls Sirius had been with previously.

"No! I haven't really even seen Nadia for three months. I haven't slept with her since before our wedding. She keeps trying to coerce me, but I refuse her. I swear it Rem." Sirius pleaded.

"Yeah, that's something you need to tell her tomorrow." Regulus walked down the stairs towards the pair of boys. "She called me the other night, drunk as all get out. She really thinks you are cheating. It crushing her more than the fact that you don't talk to her."

"I don't know what to do!" Sirius dug the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying to relive some of the pressure "I don't know how to talk to her! I've never not known how to talk to a girl before her."

"Well big brother, you have until Friday. I'm supposed to come over while you are gone and give your wife a baby." Regulus said nonchalantly.

"What!?" Remus and Sirius shouted at the same time.

"You don't touch my wife!" Sirius exclaimed pointing an accusatory finger at his younger brother.

Regulus held his hands up in defense. "I'm not doing it because I want to steal your wife from you. She's my best friend, never been nothing more. But mother is pressuring her about when the next heir is born. Since you haven't noticed it at every single family events, too busy doing whatever. I offered it in a drunk stupor and she declined. But one night she called me crying saying she wanted a baby and wanted it to be Friday while you were out with your friends."

Honestly this knowledge crushes Sirius. He felt so guilt ridden for how this whole situation had ended, especially since most of it is his fault.

"You are so lucky! I am such a good brother. I didn't have to tell you about this, I could have just given her what she wants. What would satisfy everyone involved, but I knew her hesitance in betraying you. Even when she believes you are betraying her, she shook up stairs because she was scared the time had come. I had to reassure her and wipe away her tears that she was safe. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TEARS YOU HAVE CAUSED HER! Huh? How many crying phone calls and times I've had to come over to make sure she was okay after so many lonely nights. She always wore a smile towards me, always said nice things about you to me. People have told her since your wedding that she's lucky, so lucky to have had you as her husband. But brother, I believe it is you who are lucky to have her as your wife." Regulus stopped his rant, continuing to pace across the room, as he had done during the whole one-sided argument.

There was an uncomfortable silence between the three men in the parlor. All sorts of emotions clouding judgments and rational thinking. Sirius had silently decided what he had to do, what he needed to do.

"Regulus. Do not come back to my house, at least not on Friday. Remus, I'm canceling this weekend. Now if you would please leave my home." Sirius spoke in a monotone voice, a voice that made Remus uneasy having barely heard this tone before.

Silently, he watched Sirius descend up the stairs and out of sight around a corner before exiting the home.

If there's nothing missing in my life

Then why do these tears come at night?

Her nerves were at an all time high, today was the day that Regulus was supposed to come over. She was having extreme second thoughts, she still was not sure she could betray Sirius to this level. A child with his own brother, it just felt morally inappropriate and embarrassing.

Even though he offered first, she felt she was using Regulus in a poorly planned game of chess. Like he was a pawn in a little game, but she was a pawn in another game much higher above herself. She had spent that couple days isolated in her room. No attempts to contact Regulus and in return he had not tried to contact her either. The time for him to arrive was vastly approaching, butterflied filled her stomach at the thought.

She wrapped her arms around her torso, covering up the silk nightgown she had on with a matching silk robe. Her body felt cold and numb, like an out of body experience. She felt this would be another night of crying alone, no comfort and none expected to be given.

Her ears perked up at the hefty knock on the door. Bile raised in her throat. Merlin, she needed this baby so her in laws would back off for a bit. But she could not do it. Her heart clenched at the fear of the child she may never have. She just could not go through with this plan, not if it could potentially hurt Sirius.

She made her way to the door, hands shaking and legs wobbly.

"I can't do it Reggie! I'm sorry." She sobbed into her hands, not really sure why she's crying.

"Can we talk?" Her head snapped upwards at the voice. Sirius. She looked like a deer caught in headlights, her heart racing like light speed.

"Uh, Sure." she wiped her eyes quickly, confused when Sirius took one of her hands in his and walked her to sit down next to him on her bed. He seemed just as jittery, just as nervous as she was currently. They looked like messes and it was the truest sight of this couple.

"I know what you and my brother had planned." He said simply.

She stammered, lip quivering. "I'm sorry Sirius! I'm so sorry. I understand if you would like me to leave." Her head hung low, shame flooded her system.

"Darling, look at me." He spoke softly, nudging her cheek with his thumb. Looking into her sad and puffy eyes, offering a small smile to her. "I am not upset about the arrangement. I am upset because of how awful I have been towards you."

There was silence between the pair, very awkward and suffocating.

"I have not cheated on you. I know Nadia says otherwise. But I have not been with her since about two weeks before our wedding. It just did not feel right." Sirius confessed to his wife.

Her tears built up again, spilling over without a second thought. "I was going to be the one who cheated?"

She pulled her hands out of his, feeling disgusted by her own skin. Deeming it not worthy to be held against his skin, though he was not perfect.

"Sweetheart, it's okay! Regulus told me the other day. I am not mad, I promise. I understand the pressure you are under with mother. Which is why I am here, well one of the reasons." He grabbed her hands once more, having her look directly into his eyes.

"I think you and I should have a baby. I want to be a good husband to you, I just... I don't know how to be good to you. You confuse me and make me feel weird things, things I do not really understand. I've wasted so much time on being scared, I ignored your pain and sorrow, my little dove." Sirius stammered, his own eyes seeming to tear up.

"Sirius, it's okay-" he cut her off.

"No! It's not. I have so much to make up, I don't even know how to start. But let me show you love the best way I know how! Let me give you a baby and we can work from that point on, please?" Sirius slid off the bed and kneeled in front of her sitting body, pulling her hands up his lips for slow and sensual kisses. "I promise, if you help me, I will become the most emotional and loving husband. I have a lot to make up and I want to start working on that. I want you to feel the same way about me, that I have felt since my fourth year at school."

She gasped in shock. "You liked me in school?"

"Well, I didn't know then. But thinking about it and the teasing the boys gave me at times. I definitely did have a tiny crush on you." His face blushed red, embarrassed over such a tiny secret.

"Okay. We can have a baby, but please tell me our love won't only be physical?" She sounded sad, such a tone that broke his heart.

"Please teach me how to properly love you? How to handle my emotions, help me not become my father." He leaned close to her, engulfing her in a tight embrace. Rolling onto the bed, his face buried into her neck as small sobs escape his lips.

They laid together sideways on the bed for a little while, holding each other as if the other was going to fade away from their grasps. Sirius was holding her tighter than she was him, his face still buried into her neck. Inhaling her sweet scent that drove him mad, caressing her cheek with the hand that laid adorn on her face. Finally showing signs of tenderness that she had been craving for months at this point. While he caressed her face, her hand was scratching along the base of his skull. Twirling the ends of his hair before running lightly over the sensitive skin, causing a shiver to run down his spine.

His sobs quieted down, not even sniffling traced his mouth. His eyes still heavy and red with evidence of crying, slowly he started peppering light kisses along her neck. Her hand stopped playing with his hair, surprised by how loving Sirius was being.

"Why'd-ya stop?" He whined out, his words slurred as if he were drunk from her touch.

"I have a confession Sirius." She sat up and moved towards her pillows at the headboard of her bed. "I've never done this before."

Sirius noticed the pink tinge on her cheeks, finding her shyness adorable. But he understood her nervousness as he intently listened to the words she spoke.

"I-I just don't... I don't want it to be bad for you." She huffed, her hands falling in her crossed lap as her head hung low.

"I can promise, it won't be bad for me." He chuckled lightly trying to lighten the mood before following her up the bed and sitting next to her. "We can take it slow, or we don't even have to do that tonight love."

"But, I want to. Do you want to y'know with me." Her face was bright red, voice lacking confidence at her own statement.

"Of course I do! You are my wife after all. We can go slow, I'll be gentle. Lay down for me darling?" Sirius spoke with comforting enthusiasm.

She did as he told her, scooting down slightly to lay on her back comfortably. Her heart raced wildly as Sirius watched her move. They were not even touching, yet the whole scene felt so intimate to her. It did not help that this was her first time and knowing Sirius was experienced did little to bring her comfort.

"Have you ever kissed anyone?" She shook her head at him, feeling embarrassment burning again. "It's okay sweetheart, I don't mind teaching you."

Sirius crawled over her, hovering on all fours over her slightly rigid body. He ducked his head down to slowly press his lips against hers, a little more than a peck. He gently moved her arms to wrap around his neck, nudging one of her hands back into his hair causing her to giggle against his lips. Sirius turned his head sideways, deepening the kiss by putting more assertion into it. They kissed each others lips until she started gaining confidence in herself.

Sirius broke the kiss, pulling back completely to sit on his heels. Her legs were trapped underneath his body. She whined a little as he pulled away, her body raising to follow his lips earning a chuckle from him. "Have patience little one."

He rolled the black, tight-fitted shirt off of his broad chest, muscles flexing slightly as he tossed it aside onto the floor. She studied his naked chest. Acknowledging his toned build from years in quidditch, his smooth, pale skin, so warm and welcoming. Breath hitching at the trail of dark hair that disappeared under his belt. Sirius shifted his body, pulling her smooth legs to frame around his hips. Her short nightgown bunching around her hips, flashing a slight glimpse of her panties.

He leaned towards her lips again, the kiss stronger than the other ones previously. On instinct, she wrapped her arms around his neck once more. One hand combing through his locks that she noticed he seemed to throughly enjoy. His chest pressed against her, the silk of the nightgown raised bumps against his skin. Sirius's tongue timidly licked across her closed lips, wanting gain access to the inside of her mouth. She parted her lips slightly, the tips of their tongues touching ever so slightly.

He slipped his tongue further into her mouth, exploring the taste of her. Her body became stiff once more, unsure of what to do with her own tongue as his invaded her mouth. She quite liked the taste of him, but became flustered in the thoughts of how she should move her mouth against his skilled tongue. He pulled his mouth away from hers, a string of saliva following before snapping against his lower lip.

"Just relax and follow my lead." Sirius's spoke lovingly, petting the hair along her forehead to try and soothe her nerves.

Their tongues meet once again, he licked delicately at her tongue. She followed the motions he was doing with uneasy fervor. She liked the feeling of the soft muscle against her own, creating an intoxicating feeling of euphoria and pleasure. Sirius drug one of his fingers down her face, tracing the outline of her features as her reaches her neck. Slow touches cascade further down until it softly caressed over her nipple, his large hands engulfing most of her breast. "Is this okay?" He asked pulling away once more. She mumbled a 'yes' as she closed her eyes, basking in the feeling of his hands in her body in such a sensual way.

His hand needed at the tender flesh, his thumb circling around her hardening bud with a feather-like touch. Sirius moved his face back into the side of her neck, showering slow kisses in many places. He sucked slightly on her sweet skin and with the right amount of pressure on her breast, pulled an unexpected moan from her throat. Not only surprising herself but Sirius as well. He bucked his hips forward into her, almost moaning at the noise of her himself.

"Can I take this off?" His fingers moved from her breast to the end of her nightgown, toying with the hem between his fingers waiting for her permission.

She agreed and sat up slightly so he could pull the dress off completely. This left her bare breast and only panties covering her body. Sirius looked mesmerized by the sight of uncharted skin between them.

"I know it's not much to offer." She stated, noticing his staring.

"Let me show you something." Sirius moved off of her, popping the button of his dark jeans open and practically ripping them off his legs. Leaving both of them in only underwear. He took her hand and lead it down the happy trail of dark hair. "This! This is what you do to me, you little minx. You are so beautiful!" He whined out as he helped her palm him through his thin, black boxers.

Sirius pulled her hands away from him, leaning forward once more. He kissed around her chest, along the fat of her breasts and up the valley between them. He repeated the action with his tongue dragging around them as well. He enclosed one of her nipples into his warm mouth, sucking against it like it was his life's mission. The noises he was pulling from her made him feel like a god. The fact that she was enjoying his company and he could give her pleasure had his ears, as well as other parts, rushing with blood.

He caressed a hand along her naval, rubbing soothing circles into her hips as they slightly rocked into his body. He played with the lace decor of her panties, rubbing over the growing wet patch. Her breathing became heavy, a surge of desire rushing through her bloodstream as his fingers ghosted over the aching areas.

"You can- you can touch me there, underneath them if you would like to." She murmured, eyes shut and focusing on the pleasurable feeling he was giving.

"Do you want me to?" He smiled at her through hooded eyes, her face contorting in turmoil.

"Yeah, please Sirius."

"How could I say no to such a pretty little thing."

Her cheeks tinted red from his comment as he hooked the sides of her panties with his fingers and slide them down her legs at a teasing speed. His thumb teased between the folds, finding her slightly engorged clit. Rubbing half-circles over it, he noticed her tense at the motions, legs trying to clamp shut. He dipped his thumb lower to reveal the seeping wetness and exposing it to his skin before dragging it back up to her clit. This time pressing harder as he circled it fully, watching the pleasure on her face the entire time.

Ears perking and cock twitching as the quiet, breathy moans of his name she let out. He switched hands, letting one continue to rub her aching clit as the other hand moved lower towards her entrance. Easily slipping a single finger in, catching her by surprise. He worked it in and out while simultaneously stroking her clit. Once her moans start to become more frequent, he added another finger into the mix.

"How's this? Feel good?" Sirius whispered into her ear, voice husky and full of lust.

"Mmhmm!" She mumbled out her answer quick, eyes shutting to focus on the pleasure and new sensation.

Her body continued to quiver against his, and judging by the way she was clenching around his fingers. He knew she was close. He applied more pressure with his thumb, her moans became more consistent with his strokes. Her moan cut off suddenly, her mouth forming an 'o' shape as her body shuttered against his.

Sirius could tell she was cumming before she even knew what was happening. "That's it, what a good girl." She clenched harder around him as her breath started to even out slightly.

He pulled his fingers out of her, maintaining eye contact as he sensually pushed his fingers past his own lips. Sucking softly on them as a groan lifted from his chest. Blood rushing more south by the taste of her. The tange catching his arousal off guard for a second. "Are you ready darling? We can take it slow, we don't have to tonight."

"I want to! I-I want you Sirius. I need you." She babbled as she watched his fingers fall slowly from his mouth.

The air became thick with need as Sirius moved away from her to undress himself fully. His breathing became heavy as he slowly pulled his boxers off, teasing himself from the rushed and frantic pleasure he normally endured during hook-ups from the past. She peered at him from between her legs. He was about to be her first everything, the first cock she would have ever seen. It looked perfect to her, even having never seen another before.

He was a medium sized girth. The length looked like a comfortable size, sure there would be a stretch with it being her first time. But he looked to be a comfortable fit, not looking too scary with a slight curve upward. Sirius crawled over her, his hands holding himself up with her head in between his hands. He looked intently down at her. Lust still prevalent but a look of longing and love also filled his senses. He leaned down and collected her lips into a deep kiss full of passion.

"Are you ready?" He kissed along her neck waiting for her to respond to him. She told him that she was ready, he reached between them and ran his cock between her, caressing her clit with the tip a few times.

He caught her entrance for a second and pushed forward slightly, engulfing most of the tip inside. She squealed quietly with the pressure sensation, pulling his shoulders down towards her. Sirius began pushing in further, taking his time and making sure she was relaxed as he pushed more in. About halfway down, she clamped up and began for hyperventilate. He looked up at her face, noticing her eyes screwed shut, he tried to pull out but she told him that she was okay and he could continue.

The pressure was not necessarily painful, the remanence of her first orgasm still fresh within her body helped her relax. He started stretching her more and more the further he pushed until he bottomed out completely inside of her. He kissed around her face as she squealed once more because of the full feeling that held within her blissed stomach. He rested against her body, chests pressed firmly against each other as he cradled her head in his hands. Her arms around his neck as the slight pain dissolved.

"Sirius?" She whispered in his ear.

"Yes love?"

"You can move now."

Sirius kissed her lips once more and trailed more down to her neck as he slowly pulled his hips back from her body. Tentatively, he rocked forward into her, moaning at the warm, suction she was giving him. He was not sure what it was, probably emotions, but sex for him had never felt this good. Each gentle stroke he made into her, sent shocks of pleasure to each finger tip of his. His face fell into her neck, muffling every little or loud noise he made against her. The vibrations of the noises sent a sense of pride through her body.

Still sensitive from the previous orgasm, she felt amazing and comfortable. The happy trail that lead to wide patch of trimmed black hair rubbed against her clit. A tingling sensation filling her chest each time he pushed forward. Her own hips starting to rock into his calm strokes.

"I-I've never - oh merlin-" the feeling of her clench around him as his thumb softly circled her clit once more cut his words off. "Never had sex... this slow.. I- never thought it to—be this...glorious. Baby you feel so good." He moaned loudly each time she clamped onto him.

"Feel so full Sirius. Feel so wonderful." Her hand pulled at the nape of his neck, catching his hair between her fingers. Legs locked around his hips as she felt herself nearing another end. The emotions running rampant through her body heightened every sense. The pleasure in her lower belly felt intense, causing tears to start to flow from her eyes. Another tight circle of his thumb had her coming undone around him. Moaning directly into his ear as she held him tighter to her body. Trying to seek every inch of him into her grasps.

The noises, the actions, everything about the whole interaction had Sirius convulsing. He was about to cum, almost embarrassing quick for himself. The feeling of her cumming worsened his control as he felt himself topple over the edge. Almost instantly spilling into her.

"I love you." Sirius held onto her tightly as she felt warmth fill up her womb. Her heart and body tightened as he listened to his words. Basking in the golden feeling she was currently experiencing. As Sirius weakly rocked through their orgasms she whispered back to him that she also loved him. Both of them feeling a copious amount of love and joyfulness.

The pair stayed like that for a little bit. Tears filled her eyes earlier were pooled down her cheeks but no more were spilling. Sirius was seated inside her still, not moving even and inch off of her. She noticed his shoulders start to shutter as well as the muffled sniffles against her shoulder.

"Sirius? Honey, what's wrong?" She stroked his head, running her fingers through his tangled, sweaty hair.

"It's nothing." He tried to mumble off but she persisted on coaxing out his misery. "I've never felt love like that. Never been slow and soft. Never felt so loved."

She continued to coo at him and give him reassuring compliments. But still he felt his own insecurities and doubts bubbling to the surface.

"I'm sorry. I don't normally blow my load that quick. I'll make it up to you I promise!"

"Sirius look at me." She grabbed his face with both hands and stared into his eyes, nothing but love and satisfaction on her face. "I couldn't have asked for a more perfect moment." Before pulling him into a comforting embrace.

When Sirius had finally pulled out of her, he quickly ran out of the room. She felt a bit confused but slightly hurt. He ran rather quick as if he was disgusted by the act the pair had just committed. Stress and worry started to fill her mind as she felt the tears pool into her eyes and spill over one tear at a time. She thought they had finally made a breakthrough, when she wiped her eyes she noticed the red stains from the tears. Perfect way to top it all off.

She hiccuped shocked when she watched Sirius waltz back into the room, fresh pair of boxers on his body. Hands full of clothes and a rag. He gently began to wipe down her shaky thighs and intimate parts.

"Why are you cry- are you bleeding? Oh Merlin! Did I hurt you?" Sirius spoke frantically, confused and hurt by the thoughts of hurting her.

"No, Sirius" she laughed slightly at him, "it's a condition I have."

He just nodded, unsure of what to say back to her. He decided to finish cleaning her up and dressed her in a pair of his boxers and a loose shirt. Topping it all off with a kiss to her lips. The pair cuddled up together under the covers. Her hand and head resting against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. His had his arm wrapped around her body, one hand resting of her stomach.

"Let's hope it took darling, though I would not mind trying again with you." Sirius giggled like a little teenage boy.

"Yes let's hope." She laughed along with him.

"I'm going to take you out tomorrow night. Just us. Some place nice. Some place you deserve." Sirius spoke with determination.

"I'd love that a lot Mr. Black." She peppered a few kisses against his chest before closing her eyes to drift off into sleep.

"I'd do anything for you, Mrs. Black."

#sirius black #sirius black smut #smut imagine #arranged marriage #slight angst #smut #maraders era #sirius black x fem!reader #innocent reader #regulus black x platonic!reader #implied pregnancy

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hollowed-theory-hall · 5 months

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I had always wondered why Binns wasn't replaced or the material updated for the History of Magic classes.

However I recently realised that History is a crucial part of understanding the world's past and paving the way for future. Not to mention History is tied with Civics/ Politics and plays a role in gaining your footing in the world and navigating creature relations.

To take such a crucial element away from the students and tell them to flounder on their own (especially muggle borns and raised who don't have the resources that pureblood and even half blood children do)

Coupled with the fact that whenever Harry learns a piece of history it's always from a biased source and by word of mouth (I mean text books can also be biased but still)

What I want to say is that generations of kids were seriously screwed over by the decision to not hire another effective History teacher.

Yes!! Yes!! All of this!!!

History is such an important thing to teach (I actually think real schools, at least where I live don't do a great job at it). As you mentioned, History is crucial to understanding politics, language, economy, and so much more. In the Harry Potter world, each spell comes with its own history of how it came into being and why, which affects how the spell is cast and what its effects are.

Now, Binns was the Hogwarts history Professor for a good century at least (he taught history in 1890 in Hogwarts Legacy as a ghost already), so it's not just Dumbledore who willfully keeps generations of Hogwarts students ignorant. And I think, if we opened their school books, we'd find a very biased account of Wizarding History and the goblin rebellions.

Now, I have a bit of a conspiracy theory about this and why history and magical theory aren't properly thought. Because their school books don't really cover why spells work or why potions need one ingredient over another, which in a world of magic feels like the bare minimum. I think the education problems, both with magical theory and with history are for the same reason — control.

As you mentioned, history is crucial to finding your footing in a culture, to understanding the world around you. Someone who is ignorant of history is easier to manipulate. They would be more prone to believing biased accounts and propaganda. And it's chilling how easy it was for the ministry to paint Harry as a deranged liar in book 5 by printing it in the Prophet. Even students who spoke with Harry and knew him personally believed it.

In book 7, a good portion of their world just kept living their lives, like there wasn't a war, like the minister wasn't under the Imperius. Some of the pure-bloods and half-bloods that have nothing to fear and aren't involved with the Death Eaters or the Order, they're just, there, living like nothing's wrong. They go to school, they go to work. Because if the newspaper (that's controlled by the ministry) says everything's fine, it must be true? Right? *sarcasm*

These are all signs of a very media-illiterate community that doesn't know how to be skeptical of what they read. And learning history, learning to ask questions about history, play a big part in teaching people how to be skeptical. I mean, learning about the history of propaganda and fascist regimes helps you know what to look for and how to hopefully not fall for the same tricks.

But the Wizarding World isn't interested in that. They're interested in a calm and controllable population.

Magical theory is the same in some ways. I wrote about how magic is all about intention here and here a bit. If you are focused and have enough magic and the force of will to back it up you can do anything. You don't actually need a wand or spells to cast magic, just a strong enough wish. This is how accidental magic works. Bright wizards like Tom and even Harry can learn to control their accidental magic, proving magic doesn't need wand waving and incantations. Yes, they make casting easier but they're not necessary.

But do you know what wands are necessary for? Following and identifying wizards. Wands are used to identify wizards and forbidding the use of them by creatures adds to the treatment of creatures as second-rate citizens.

And incantations? Well, if anyone could just cast whatever without a spell, magic would be incredibly hard (I might even say impossible) to regulate. You can't define which spells are unforgivable if spells don't exist. You can't make a list of illegal dark incantations if there are no incantations.

TL;DR

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter is kind of a dystopia.

#harry potter #hp #hp meta #hollowedheadcanon #hp headcanon #ministry of magic #wizarding world #harry potter meta #hollowedtheory

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sitp-recs · 9 months

Note

hi, can you by any chance recommend any drarry fics where they're both professors?

Absolutely, anon! I hope you enjoy:

Professor Potter and his Magical Menagerie by @dracogotgame (T, 7.5k)

Harry Potter descends on Hogwarts with a horde of magical beasts. Professor Malfoy is not amused.

More Than That by joosetta (E, 11k)

This is a story about two 52 year old men who refuse to age gracefully.

Homecoming by November Snowflake (E, 27k)

Harry thinks spending two weeks as a guest lecturer at Hogwarts will offer the perfect chance to get away from his troubles. Then he meets his assigned faculty guide: Potions Master Draco Malfoy.

Phoenix in the Fire by @lqtraintracks (E, 28k)

Harry never expected to have a hot summer fling with Draco Malfoy when he agreed to mind the castle with him. He also never expected that it would all have to end on August thirty-first. What happens when casual sex with Harry’s ex-enemy turns not casual after all? And how the hell is he going to stop Draco from making one of the biggest mistakes of his life?

Boom Clap (The Sound of My Heart) by Femme and noeon (E, 39k)

Post-war Hogwarts has been energized by its new teaching fellows program. Where once bitter enmity divided the wizarding community, Malfoy and Potter chummily patrol hallways together whilst Granger and Zabini seek lost parts of the castle at McGonagall’s behest and Chang supervises Quidditch when not lecturing in Charms.

Of Roses and Dragonfire by xErised (E, 53k)

Years after That Kiss, Potter (and his new pet snake) appears again, this time as Hogwarts's Quidditch and Muggle Games instructor (what are Muggle Games anyway? Is this why Potter is swimming in the Great Lake wearing such a tiny pair of pants?), disrupting Draco's peaceful life as Defence Against the Dark Arts professor.

A Lick and a Promise by @tackytigerfic (E, 55k)

Something sinister stirs in Hogwarts! When magical creatures and students at the school are hit with a debilitating blood curse, Minerva McGonagall approaches the Ministry for help. Star Auror Harry Potter seems to be the obvious choice to go undercover—as DADA Professor, naturally. He’s going to need the help of the Ministry’s foremost expert in blood magic to get to the bottom of the mystery, though, and he’s not entirely convinced that going back to Hogwarts with Draco Malfoy is a good idea.

Finely Drawn Lines by @the-sinking-ship (E, 61k)

Draco doesn’t consider himself an artist (though the dozens of sketchbooks lining his shelves might suggest differently). Yet ever since Potter returned to Hogwarts, accepting a teaching position alongside Draco, his drawings have taken on a rather singular focus.

Transfigurations by Resonant (E, 71k)

Five years after Voldemort's defeat, Harry returns to England to help re-open Hogwarts.

Lessons in Humility by playout (E, 86k)

After the dissolution of his marriage and a good bit of soul-searching, Harry returns to Hogwarts as the new Defense teacher. Go figure, it happens to be the same year Draco takes over the role of Potions Master. Neither man is happy about this turn of events. Will they be able to set aside their differences and learn a thing or two about trust and humility on the way?

All Life is Yours to Miss by Saras_Girl (M, 114k)

Professor Malfoy's world is contained, controlled, and as solitary as he can make it, but when an act of petty revenge goes horribly awry, he and his trusty six-legged friend are thrown into Hogwarts life at the deep end and must learn to live, love and let go.

A Secondary Education by Thunderbird587 (E, 234k)

Fleeing the aftermath of his recent divorce, Draco Malfoy takes up a post as the new Potions Master at Hogwarts. At first he believes his hopes for a fresh start are dashed when he sees that a certain boyhood rival is on staff there as well. But Harry Potter is being weirdly nice to him, leaving Draco no choice but to play along.

#asks #anon #Drarry reclist #hogwarts professors

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ghostchems · 3 months

Text

lovers led astray, an upiór sequel

part one - bitter hearts

much has changed within the ministry since the dust settled. you're stuck in a position you never wanted - the chosen lover of the cardinal, the heir apparent, as well as the secretary for the ministry's budding satanic education program. despite your life having more meaning that it ever has, you're still flooded with memories of the before times.

author's note: you do not have to read upiór before this but i would recommend it. i have been ruminating on this for some time. cardinal copia x f!reader. 18+. mdni. fucking, sucking, licking, choking, angst, a toxic as fuck relationship, etc. etc. 4.4k words. ao3 link.

You are silent as you stand beside Sister Imperator, one of her hands outstretched and giving the sibling of sin in front of you a warm pat on the shoulder. A sharp gaze falls to you as you clear your throat and lift the diploma from the stack to hand it to them, also reaching out to shake their hand with your other hand.

“Congratulazioni.” A genuine smile lights up the sibling’s face and you nod. The achievement is an important one especially with the new leadership placing more importance on studies. You give out about fifty more diplomas before you’re steered off to the front of the group for a photo. Tight lipped and dead eyed as the flash goes off. The swarm of students allows you to get lost in the crowd, sneaking your way out of the auditorium and into a crisp cool hallway. Your black dress sways with your hips, long sleeved with pointed shoulders and a red gemstone grucifix on the left of your chest, heels clicking along the marble flooring. A comfortable moment of silence falls over you until familiar footsteps echo down the hall.

“Mountain.” You sigh and look over your shoulder at the ghoul. He meets your gaze with a vacant white eyes. True alone time was few and far between, even the time spent in your room not truly alone time since he would be just outside your door. Mountain trails closely behind you as you take the slow stroll back to your office. You figure you could get a solid half hour to quiet your mind before Sister would tap on your door to review curriculum for the upcoming summer session. There was always something to approve, something to consider and plan for.

For a while you weren’t sure how you could fit into the Ministry after everything changed. You almost decided to run away before logic and fear clouded your mind. Why would you leave the only place you’ve ever belonged? Guilt of leaving it behind flooded you. Plus you’ve burnt bridges from your old life — you would be starting over from nothing. You couldn’t fathom it. A decision was made to stay, to see how you would fare and what you could squeeze out of the agreement. Responsibilities have gradually increased over the last six months. Your visibility in the ministry is higher than it’s ever been. Members have been coming by your office hours to chat, asking for advice and perhaps even providing some gossip. Some have said you inspired them in these times of change.

But they don’t know what you’ve gone through. They don’t know how much this has cost you.

Your stride starts to slow as you come upon the door to the Cardinal’s office. So much for quieting your mind. A jolt of anger explodes through you at the thought of him behind the door. What could he possibly be doing?

It’s been over a week since you’ve last seen him. This man who destroyed the Emeritus bloodline because he wanted you so badly, only to all but disappear once the dust truly settled. Off on clergy trips, holed up in his office or just plain gone. The anger has festered inside of you for so long but it’s starting to become unmanageable. You suspect he’s found someone else and consider that perhaps he never truly wanted you for you. Maybe it was that you already belonged to someone else, someone Copia wanted to best*.* And now you were his trophy because he had won*.* Was this apart of the plan all along? To trap you in upper management to keep you quiet and complacent?

He could be behind that door right now with the new object of his affection. Heat rushes to your cheeks. Jealousy. You’re ashamed at how quickly you jump to it but you have been yearning for his touch for sometime now. The situation has always been sticky, the way he gave you something that made you more… open during his first attempt, but he’s had you hopelessly addicted since then. Copia had demanded you immediately, unable to keep you out of his sight or out of his grasp for long. Now the only attention you get is from Mountain and they don’t even speak to you. All the more reason you’re pissed at and suspicious of your dear Cardinal.

You give into it. The anger that has been boiling over. With confident strides you march up to his door only for Mountain to snatch you by the wrist just as your fingertips touch the knob. You give him perhaps the most angry look you’ve given anyone in your entire life, eyes burning into their expressionless face. The air vibrates around you. They teeter on their heel and shift to a more inquisitive vibe. A grumble, seemingly ending in a question mark, radiates from them before yoinking its hand off of you. Takes a step back and lets their arms fall to their sides, starting to hunch as they continue to stare, as if daring you to do it.

So you do.

You wrench the door open and zip into his room, prepared to see the very worst. Instead, Copia startles awake behind his desk, a piece of paper stuck to his cheek that he quickly plucks. You’re frozen in the middle of his office as he starts to focus on you, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise. He’s quick to his feet and you see just how disheveled he is — sleeves rolled up to his elbows, collar crumpled, make-up flaky and smeared, and his usually perfect hair spilling on to his forehead.

“What is it? What’s happening?!”

“What have you been doing? It’s been a week.”

“A week?” Copia rubs his eyes, further smudging the dark black paint. “Ah, I’m so sorry, amore. Done a bad job at keeping track of time.” He’s completely rundown, more so than you’ve ever seen him before. A pang of compassion hits you hard. Usually he has some fight in him, some fire that makes you burn for him. This is the first time you’ve seen him without it.

“She’s working you too hard.” There’s concern in your voice but also frustration. How could he let her do this to him?

“A-ah. This work is very important to the future of the Clergy. Important to our future.” A dark look flashes in his eyes, a small glimpse of his usual self. “You’ve missed me, gattina?” You ponder this for a moment and decide to go bold.

“I’ve missed how you taste on my tongue.”

He chokes on his own spit, his face growing bright red. You’ve caught him off guard. Good. You saunter over to him and plant your hands firmly on his chest, tilting your head up to look him in the eyes.

“I want you in bed tonight. Perhaps I’ll taste you again.” Your voice drops low, an intent look on your face. He gives a shuttered breath, his eyelashes fluttering, shocked yet unbelievably turned on. You don’t let him get the chance to act on it though, spinning on your heel to leave him alone once more.

Your head buzzes as you close the door to his office behind you. When was the last time you were so forward with what you wanted? His reaction to it was delicious, falling right into the palm of your hand. There’s still some doubt that he’ll show up but at least you’ve let him know the door is open. Your eyes connect with Mountain’s voids, the brief rush already over once you realize they’re there. They’re always there. Silently, you move past them and start off back to your quarters.

How long had it been? Had you missed your meeting with Sister? You decide that you don’t care. Once you’re back to the room, a room you used to sneak into to see your secret lover, you sink into one of the red wingback chairs. Mountain regards you for a silent moment then slips out, leaving you alone with your thoughts. It always was strange returning here for the night. This is supposed to be your home, your sanctuary from the institution of it all but it never feels comfortable to you. You push the thoughts from your mind as your eyes wander to a stack of books on the nearby side table. Leaning towards it, you scan through the titles until one piques your interest.

Ghoulish Glimpses by Cardinal Copia

You pick up the leather bound book and leaf through a few pages. Hand written. Complex illustrations of ghouls sketched by the man himself. Sometimes you forget about how academic he is, how before his responsibilities picked up you would find him often seated at this very chair with his nose in a book. You never knew he wrote his own. It dawns on you that there’s much you don’t know about him. You cross your legs and settle your butt into the chair — now is your chance for a peak behind the curtain.

Eyes grow heavy after a while. You’re not sure how long it’s been but you’ve devoured nearly half the book. A faint voice from outside the door snaps you out of your trance. There’s some shuffling, footsteps fading away down the hall. You’re filled with a sudden burst of adrenaline as you realize what’s about to happen.

The door creaks open and he enters.

His hair has been fixed and outfit straightened out but exhaustion still clings to his being. A beat passes. You set the book down on the table as you stand up, motioning for him to sit. Copia’s lips twitch and he follows your direction, light on his feet. No words need to be spoken. Your heart thunders in your chest as you sink down to your knees in front of him, slipping between his legs. Fingers run up his strong thighs and settle on his hips, looking up at him with suggestive eyes. He’s already half hard, his cock straining inside his tight black pants. You dip your head into his lap to mouth along the stiffening outline, a strangled groan falling from his deliciously parted lips.

Fingers slip to the waistband on his pants, feeling his coarse hair as they drift to his suspender clips. You flick them open and start to pull at his pants until his cock is freed, thick and weeping. He sucks in a sharp breath as your lips brush along the tip, your tongue licking the bead of precum that’s collected there. You are encouraged by his low groan, his cock pulsing while you lick down the shaft and press your tongue to the vein on the underside. Copia snatches you by the hair and you brace yourself only for him to card his fingers through your locks. Your used to him taking control, grabbing you and fucking your face until you’re gagging and drooling around him, forcing you to drink him down.

Your mouth finds his balls, giving a quiet moan as you suck on them. His fingers dig into your scalp and his thighs tense beneath you. A hum rumbles up from your throat, dragging your tongue back up his length until you’ve made it back to the tip. Eyes flicker up to meet his and they’re nearly black, so focused on you as his chest rises and falls with each deep breath. Deep satisfaction washes over you. You feel powerful. Lips part and slowly sink down his length. He groans, his grip on your hair tightening. You keep a slow pace, sinking all the way down until your nose is pressed against his neat hair and then slowly bring yourself back up his length.

Copia’s hips stutter as his body dips further into the cushions of the chair and even further into the palm of your hand. You stroke at his hips beneath his shirt, squeezing and drifting lower until you reach the inside of his thighs. They tense beneath your fingertips. The heated sounds that spill from his lips fill your ears and you’re nearly drunk off of them. You clench your thighs to quell the arousal that stirs between your legs. One of your hands shifts down to massage his balls while the other wraps around the base of his cock. You start to bob your head faster, groaning around him. He claws at your hair, your name erupting from his throat with a fiery moan as he shudders beneath you.

You add your hand to the mix, slick strokes with each bob of your head. Copia is hanging on by a thread, his toes curling in his shoes and his breath coming out in short gasps. His voice trembles as he whispers your name, his release imminent. You sink down him one final time, squeezing the base as the head of his cock hits the back of your throat. He spills into your mouth, and you swallow him down, savoring the taste. You pull back slowly, a satisfied smile playing on your lips as you rise to meet his gaze, both of you breathless.

“You may go now.” You wipe cum from the corner of your lip and climb to your feet without sparing him a second glance. Smoothing down your dress, you turn your back on him and start toward the bedroom.

“Do not order me!” The anger in his voice rattles you and you come to an abrupt stop. Your breath catches in his throat. Copia takes slow, deliberate steps towards you, his shoes thudding against the carpet. “You said you wanted me in our bed tonight, gattina. I am here.” His lips brush against your ear as he snatches you by the waist and pulls you into him. Lightning courses through your veins, a sharp whine falling from your lips. His hands wander, drifting up to grope and tease at your breasts through your dress. An order was given early on to never wear undergarments in this outfit and you have obeyed ever since in silent hope for a moment like this. One hand slips between your legs and cups your heat, palm hard against your clit. His other moves to the back of your neck, delicately unzipping your dress and making sure his fingertips graze your back the full way down. You get goosebumps from the touch as your hips buck into his palm.

Knees wobble. You shrug your dress off your shoulders and push it down your body, giving a huff when he inevitably removes his hand from your cunt. Copia’s lips ghost along your shoulder as his traces circles on your hips. His touch grows firmer until he is forcing you to turn to face him. You’re laid bare in front of him, vulnerable and aching. He wears a sly grin. His hands are clasped behind his back, shoulders forward as he stalks closer. You stumble backwards until your back is to the gold framed mirror on the wall — one of the only remnants of the room’s previous inhabitant. Heart thunders while you watch his hands raise to your throat. His thumbs press down on your windpipe and you swallow thickly, breath catching.

Panic rises in your chest. He squeezes the air from your lungs at a painful pace until you’re dangling on the edge. At what feels like the last moment he gives you relief, only to cup your cheeks and capture you by the lips, effectively stealing your breath away yet again. The grace of it all dissolves then and there, the raw attraction getting the better of you. Your grasp for him, squeezing and massaging anywhere you’re able to run your hands, needing to feel him beneath your fingers. Copia snarls into the kiss, his tongue probing your mouth as his fingers tangle in your hair.

“You thought I would leave without returning the favor, hmm?” He purrs into your mouth and gives your hair a sharp tug, tilting your head up for better access to your neck. You arch into him, giving a shuddered moan as he nips and sucks along your sensitive flesh. Copia releases your hair and his hands drift down your neck, tracing over your collarbone before planting them firmly on your breasts with a shaky exhale.

“Go on, then.” You huff as you tug at his collar. “Return the favor.” You swear you hear him whimper, his lip twitching in anticipation. He silently sinks down to his knees, his mouth skimming over your body, leaving a trail of kisses. Head hovers just above your core and slips one arm underneath your leg to pick it up and position your knee over his shoulder. Copia’s teeth graze your inner thigh, taking his time as he inches closer to your core. Your heart pounds in your ears, arousal burning through you, your legs already trembling from the intense need. His breath is hot against your cunt, your heady scent filling his nostrils.

“Your pussy… is perfect.” He sighs against you before dragging his tongue along your glistening lips. Your hand moves to grab him by the hair, your core clenching as he buries his face between your legs. His nose presses against your swollen clit while he fucks you with his tongue, a rumbling groan vibrating from his chest. Hips buck into his face, tugging him further into you by his hair. You’re an immediate mess, all of the poise and power washing away the second he had you by the neck. Your heel digs into his back. Fingers painfully dig into your thighs, hard enough to leave bruises. Copia is drunk off of your taste, lapping hungrily at your cunt between animalistic grunts.

“Fuck me, now.” The words tumble out of your mouth, so desperate. You need him inside you, need to feel him. He hums against you before pulling away, his face slick with your juices and his eyes dark.

“Beg. Beg me for it.” He whispers, his lips curling into a cruel grin. You hesitate, syllables catching in his throat. Copia tsks, giving you a wink before he leans back in and closes his mouth around your clit. His tongue flutters against it, moving in a circular motion, broad strokes that make your vision blur. Tears prick your eyes. You scream out for him, babbling pleas for him to fuck you, to take you now, that you’d do anything for it. Copia tears himself away from you and is on his feet in an instant, trapping you once again against the mirror. You scramble for his shirt, tearing at the buttons until you can push it off his shoulders.

He digs his fingers into your ass, holding you against the mirror as his cock slips between your legs. It runs along your slick folds, drawing a husky purr from you. You wrap your legs around his waist and angle your hips until he’s pressed against your entrance. Copia’s mismatched eyes are half-lidded and watery but they still burn into yours, his nose poking your cheek and his heavy breath against your lips. He rolls his hips and pushes inside you, gasping into each other’s mouths. You groan, wrapping your arms around his neck, fingers digging into the hair at the base of his neck. Tongue slips into his mouth as you bring your hips up to meet his every languid thrust.

“C-cazzo, you feel…” Copia rasps, pulling away from the kiss to bury his head in the crook of your neck. He picks your hips up higher to angle his thrusts deeper, pressing you hard against the mirror.

“Harder, per favore.” You hiss into his ear, the Italian words lilting off your tongue.

Copia obliges with a growl, his thrusts growing more forceful, each one drawing a sharp gasp from your lips. You cling to him, nails digging into his shoulders as he drives you closer to the edge. His name spills from your mouth in breathless moans, your body trembling with the intensity of your impending release. The mirror creaks behind you, starting to crack beneath the added pressure.

His grip tightens on your hips, guiding you with a fervor that matches your own desperation. The friction, the heat, the sheer intensity of his movements push you closer and closer to the precipice of ecstasy.

“C-Copia, I’m—” You manage to gasp out, words breaking as you feel the climax building within you.

“Let go, amore. Let me feel you.” He snarls against your neck, his voice ragged and demanding.

With one final, deep thrust, you shatter. Your body convulses around him, waves of pleasure crashing through you, leaving you gasping and trembling in his arms. He follows moments later, his own release tearing a guttural moan from his lips as he spills inside you, holding you tight as he rides out his own climax. Your legs fall from his hips, barely touching the ground and you doubt their ability to hold you up. Copia pants into your hair, moving his hands to keep you steady as he pulls out.

“Reading up on creatures again, hmm?” He murmurs against your temple.

“Is it so wrong to be interested in my lover’s work?” You say with a huff. “I wasn’t sure you would come. I had to pass the time somehow.”

“Forgive me for asking. It’s just that last time…” He leans back to look at you, a surprisingly soft expression on his face. You stiffen in his arms at the thought of last time. You had tried your best to do the right thing and yet the suffering endured has twisted you into someone you don’t recognize. Copia’s hands cup your face, thumbs lightly stroking your cheekbones.

“I will not let anyone hurt you ever again, amore.” His voice silvery, warm and you know he means it. He told you that you would learn to love him. You’re not sure what you’re feeling is love but you can’t help but melt against him. “Can I take you to bed?” You nod slowly. Copia drops his hands from your face and slips his arms around your waist before lifting you with ease. The walk to the bed is only a few steps but he’s so gentle with you. He places you on the bed and you are soon comfortably wrapped in blankets. Eyes follow him as he hovers at his dresser to fetch a pair of briefs. Dark red briefs. He slinks into bed beside you after slipping them on, one of his arms resting on your stomach.

The two of you haven’t had a moment like this in a long while.

“I am, eh, very pleased that you came to me today. There are times I am not so sure you want me around. Nice to know that you do.” He’s so sincere right now that it’s throwing you off.

“I’m happy you came. I know you are a busy man.” You hum as you inch closer to him.

“Mmm. Well, you deserve to be worshipped every night.” Copia smirks and props his head up with his hand as he strokes up and down your tummy. Your cheeks flush, his light touch giving you goosebumps. “I’ve heard all about the good work you’ve been doing, you know.”

“Imperator?” Eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Who else would have told him? The more you do your duties the more you’re sure no one knows the extent of your job except for her.

“Si, si. She is very impressed.” Copia tugs you in to him, his other arm slipping underneath your head to cradle you against his chest. “Look how far you’ve come. Look at what you’ve accomplished. You are a natural, amore.” He purrs into your hair. You’re not used to this kind of praise especially for executing a role that you were ill prepared for. Also, the idea of Imperator complimenting your performance is hard to ignore — then again the thought of complacency crosses your mind. You allow yourself to just take the compliment, no need to spiral off into an existential crisis. Snuggling in closer to him, you rest your head against his shoulder as your fingertip traces the 666 tattoo on his chest.

“M’sleepy.” You whisper, barely audible. He doesn’t answer, instead giving you a squeeze. You start to focus on his breathing and how his chest rises and falls with each one, listening to his heart beat as your eyes grow heavy.

Copia is devoted to you. That much is clear. It’s a relief, in a way. Though if you had found him behind his door with another… it would’ve given you reason to run. The more you become entangled in this web the more you become apart of the conspiracy. He said you’re a natural. Are you, though? Is this where you’re meant to end up?

At this time of night your thoughts usually drift back to the before times. When you could easily blend in with the rest of the congregation, taking up tasks when needed but dedicating most of your time to living in His image. You never thought you would catch the attention of a retired Papa, though. It started as innocent flirting that only grew until the both of you ended up alone in the dining hall long after the Winter Solstice celebration had concluded. He had a lot of time on his hands, time that he readily spent interrupting your alone time. It was easy and you always had fun with him. There were no expectations, the two of you took it day by day. Until one day he was gone and thus began this mess.

Thoughts fade. Eyelids grow heavy. Everything sort of blends together as the rhythm of Copia’s breath carries you off to sleep.

Rays of sunshine spill into your room, your eyes fluttering open. The side of the bed is empty. You give a deep sigh and force yourself to sit up. Limbs are still sore, stretching your back out as your eyes grow more alert. They focus on your night table, Ghoulish Glimpses placed beside a single rose and a chocolate frosted donut. Always the romantic.

Still, there’s a pit in your stomach.

#cardinal copia x reader #cardinal copia #papa emeritus iv #uhhhh #ghost fanfic #ghost band fanfic #i don't even know what to tag

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