#why was i born to suffer?
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hmmmmmm having a cutie cockwarm me while i do my T shot sounds sublime
#concrete talks#today is one of my shot days#and yet i have no warm wet transgender mouth wrapped around my dick :/#why was i born to suffer?#t4t nsft#trans nsft#trans mlm nsft
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as a girl, i think i should be allowed to eat fruit, masturbate, sleep, and read books whenever i want. but what do i get instead? the horrors and sleep debt. Evil
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“ what you are, I was; what I am, you will be ”
#FFXIV#Gposes#my characters#OC: Lev Dagnyr#OC: Leucothea#endwalker spoilers#shadowbringers spoilers#Azem#listen you do not know what a grip this memento mori has on me ok. i have it tattooed on my body#i love it so much through a lens of reincarnation and the cycle of the burden of hero being passed on by you and the yous yet to come#you WILL be a hero. and you will suffer for it greatly and only then will you understand what a heavy weight those before you have borne.#and one day you will be free. either through retirement or peace. and those heroes who come after you will learn it just as you have#a warning. a curse. a solemn reminder.#and i love it with the idea of seeing yourself in azem. a hero. someone burdened with responsibility as the world ends. just like you.#Lev not feeling worthy of being even a SHARD of Azem and struggling with living up to that expectation after scrutiny by Emet-Selch#and it affecting his ENTIRE mental wellbeing from then on. Azem could do this. right? why can't he? why is he so weak? but...#dw he gets over it but it takes him like all of endwalker to do so.#hence the locations of Amaurot (dungeon) and the final stop of Endwalker#anyways!!!!!!!!#i love simplicity i love one panel gposes im going back to what i know best LMFAO
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reblog if you hate having an uterus
#i wanna rip it out#why do I have to suffer 2-3 weeks every month just for being born with a goddamn uterus#shut up stef
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i hate that i already told everyone how happy i was allegedly and that i was getting my shit together allegedly but now i realise that it was all hinging on this job and well. the illusion has crumbled! i remember how much i hate office jobs but also dont know what else to do and i remember why i have such issues holding down a job because i get burned out so easily! fuck! and i told too many people i intend on trying sobriety which. also not actually. sobriety would be great to get into fitness and cooking fresh again but! for that i need a fix routine and its not possible with my work schedule! i dont know what to do i wish i did not have to pay rent and shit so i can try out some stuff to find something that i can actually do. im right back where i was six years ago and four years ago and one year ago…
i had a week off two weeks ago and i was not really able to do much because of a minor surgery and i finally had the mind to read and i took so many walks and it was so nice and ever since i have not been able to shake the feeling things are not working out the way i thought they were. fuck i thought i was finally able to settle and work on myself and be secure but im just back where i was and i feel like now everyone is expecting me to get better and everyone thinks im in a much better place mentally and i feel like a huge disappointment because it was all an illusion.
and i feel so ungrateful and guilty because of all the women stuck in prostitution and i had the privilege to exit and get a posh job im in such a privileged position why cant i just be content and do my silly little job why do i feel so fucking depressed and like i want to scream and so demotivated. well i guess the world around has not changed either and we live in fucking depressing times. but why is it affecting me in a way i cant do my job and provide for myself. aggh
#personal#i feel exactly the way i did shortly before quitting my jobs in the past lmao 😶#i feel so cry baby and weak and why am i struggling so much im not supposed to be struggling like this#im supposed to be doing so much better#why cant i just be annoyed with having to work but able to do it like a normal person#and my family doesnt get it#theyve all overcome such adversity and what did i do#i genuinely feel i was born wrong#i cant remember a time in my life where i wasnt lashing out and angry and depressed and weird and lonely and isolated#even as a child i was struggling but WHY#im too mentally ill for the life ive had i feel stupid#other people have had it way worse and theyre so much stronger and more resilient#i havent suffered enough to be suffering like this!#i should use my privilege to uplift others but i cant even help myself
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Itachi before and after his battle with Sasuke.
What breaks my heart here is how completely changed he looks from the beginning to the end. He's very much composed, keeping up his 'evil' façade in front of Sasuke before the battle. But as soon as he's closer to his death, he drops the mask. And with it he lets go of his composure, too. It's like, the rain has also washed away all his apprehension, maybe it's the death that did, and he can finally be himself.
You can clearly see all his vulnerability and physical weakness, and he resembles a child here (too much weight loss, I guess). He looks like someone who is free from all the burdens and pains, and while he was living, all of it was physically draining for him. As though the prolonged pain had changed his physical appearance too. Like, he couldn’t ever express himself until here. And imo, this is the real him. Broken and vulnerable and someone who probably never grew up past the age of 13.
#itachi#💔💔💔💔💔💔#i think about him too much#and when I do i end up writing about him#if there's someone who deserved all the happiness it was him#all of them deserved happiness but he never even had a chance at life#like he was born to suffer and then go through hell and be free from it only 20 seconds before his death#and it's so tragic and painful#cuz... why 🥺💔💔#he deserved so much better#sorry for the bad quality of some pics#mine#itachi uchiha#uchiha itachi
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Are you guys okay (/gen)
Anyways more TADC doodles (will draw more Eastward someday.....)
#my art#digital art#doodle#the amazing digital circus#tadc fanart#tadc#tw swearing#fuck it we ball with green#you guys are wild sometimes and i was not ready for it#and i will never be ready for it ever#animal jam smile emote is so silly like it has so many uncontrollable and powerful emotions behind it but why does it look like that (/pos)#one of my friends said that this was the fastest they've ever seen a fandom be born and they were so right#but with such a large audience we will have to suffer the consequences (the horrors)#you know what kind of horrors i'm talking about#also the word on the blank dude is “artists” btw if anyone didn't know#also sorry for so many tags holy shit
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no food no money no job no family!!!!! just me crying and dissociating like i'm ten years old again <33333
#vent#no matter how hard i try im fucking doomed lmao#i never should have been born i hate myself so so so much#im such a pathetic piece of shit. i shouldnt exist#im. so tired#why does the world have to be so relentless and cruel. to everyone#i look around me and all i see is pointless suffering#so many people are in pain and i cant do anything to help. i cant even help myself#i am rotting i am decaying i am dead i am not real nothing is real
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i hate you login portal i hate you multi factor identification i hate you update your password regularly i hate you college websites
#had to send an email and now IT is probably going to put me thru a phone call why are we born just to suffer#college tag#this has been a shitpost#all of this to log in so i can contact tech support again to update my mailing address bc they never sent!! my diploma!!#i have already graduated why must i do this :(
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Wu/Misako/FSM understanders UNITE!
#none of them are inherently 'horrible evil people who ruined someone's life' or whtvr#like wu and fsm are literally part of a terrible cycle#fsm was born into a war where his parents literally fought for him#as in like actual fighting#and two whole groups fought and he tried uniting them and they resisted so he left but the war followed him and he had suffered a lot#and he likely wasnt a big fan of the oni specifically so he prioritised his 'pure son' but even then he was harsh on them which is obv a ba#-way to treat your kids but you have to think like this is a fictional man and he was born from the ashes in the midst of a violent war#he spenmt so much time fighting and running and hiding from his mistakes#wwhich then carried on to wu who has been hiding from his past and has been betrayed by so many peoplke hes told things and trtusted#which is kinda an interesting parallel to lloyd bc both have been betrayed and hurt so many times which makes them less trusting#as for Misako she couldnt jsut leave her son wzith wu because she probably worried that he would make lloyd a ninja and eventually#thjeyd have to face destiny and blah blah blah#man why do i always ramble ab these guys in the tags of posts ab them...#ninjago#raine's rambles
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"Who cares what happens to middle easterners there is always something going on there anyways" oh so you're just extremely evil aren't you?
#i do genuinely think that if you dont give a shit#and lack compassion for the group because they were unlucky enough to be born into exploited areas#youre probably not a great peraon.#person#“Oh suffering happens there all the time.” why do you not care. why does it not matter. why.#middle east#palestine#heard this in response to a lot of pro palestine people#same shit I hear about african countries#free gaza#free palestine
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decided to check up on estonians and uh the fuck is going on
#lapped yday tuuli missed all five today in s4??#now the last time i watched biathlon my comms were so optimistic abt the rest of the season… what is this bs??#the lows and more lows of being a estonian sports enthuasiast#god why was i born here? just to suffer??#biathlon
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still feeling bad even after food and a couple hours of sleep. how mean
#one of these days the yearning for an understanding person to come home to at the end of a day will end me#until then i will probably have to complain about my stupid suffering#why must humans be a social species and why must i crave things i cannot have lol#why must i be stuck living with people i cannot ever trust again. want to be around people i like and who i can be vulnerable with#tbh if i still was as whiny in real life as i am on here most days i'd only get to hear 'shut up' and 'tough luck. man up'#and that is Not It. would only make me feel worse. so i keep quiet and keep to myself#which does not solve my original problem at all#maybe one day. maybe one day i can just be a beloved pet that doesn't get scolded or belittled for seeking comfort#that one thing my parents said to me 15 years ago still haunts me#'only people who deserve it get hugs' which was used to deny me comfort/affection. because apparently i am not worthy/deserving 👍#i was 13 going through the most vile shit at school but bc it affected me negatively and my parents didn't like me at my mentally illest#they just straight up denied me any type of comfort or support. took away my belongings. made me stay in my room for months on end#as corrective punishment. but none of it made me better. just made me worse. idk idk idk#all the shit they put me through. the emotional and physical punishments. the beatings borne from frustration#and still some part of me wants to seek comfort from them. BUT I SHOULDN'T. they broke my trust and my heart and soul so many times#it'd be straight up suicide to open up and be vulnerable with them again... lole running chest first into a wall of knives. no.#sorry. really in it tonight. gonna try to be more normal tomorrow
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I don't think about my childhood obsession with HCAndersen enough honestly.
#i had such visceral distaste for fairytales as a child because i hated the happy endings#i had a collection of the grimm ones that were pretty much the 'original fucked up versions' i guess but still#it tends to always just be the bad guys suffering at the end in those and idk why but i couldnt stand it#hca though...#that man put his protagonists through hell over and over#it was so achingly beautiful to me then#i havent read thwm in a while but im still very fond of thw memories...#yes i was born an edgelord idk why leave me alone hsrgdghgj
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WHY only when i stay up later than the crack of dawn do i write like hell lit a flame under my ass
#ooc#( ;mun things )#i was born to be an insane tortured hermit locked in a tower writing feverish manuscripts#why do i suffer this modern existence
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Maeglin had to grow up so fast and yet he died so young, too. somethingsomething dior parallel and the difference having a loving parent vs. an abusive parent can make
#Maeglin was abused and suffered severe trauma and never got the healing he needed for it#I don’t think he ever stopped looking over his shoulder even after Eöl dies#he tried to make Gondolin his home but he probably suffered from severe anxiety and depression and never felt like he belonged#probably always blamed himself for his mother and father’s deaths#of course maeglin gave in to Melkor’s torture and of course he would make deals that in his mind protect his loved ones#he was told he’d be given lordship of Gondolin and Idril’s hand in marriage#fucked up. yes#but in his mind after being tortured both physically and mentally by literal Satan#he told himself the if he’s given lordship of the city then that means there will be a city with inhabitants left to rule#and Idril will be kept alive#not making excuses but I can see the reasoning#and again when you consider that he’s quite young for an elf & was probably never that mentally stable in the first place#I just. poor thing#and when you remember the books are supposed to be translations & technically up for interpretation?#boom. bias has become introduced#you cannot stop me#anyways we both had a parent that abused us and made us wish we were never born#and that’s why I’ll defend maeglin to the grave :) thank you very much :)
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