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#why cant i just be annoyed with having to work but able to do it like a normal person
puppyeared · 1 year
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ive made myself more wet and pathetic
#new icon because im SUFFERING. im in HELL#its so bad. i had to sign out of discord so now im both lonely and stressed#because i KNOW im still gonna get dstracted. i just did making this URGH#how good are brains at working around things. i once set a 7AM alarm on my phone with snooze cause i was so sure my brain would#be too lazy and keep snoozing instead of actually turning it off. but nay it either kept sleeping through the alarms and snoozing#or actually managed to turn off the alarm half awake that i barely remembered it and then waking up late#i actually have a track record of climbing out of bed and turning my alarm off without remembering. which is impressive bc i have a loftbed#the other thing is setting fake deadlines so make myself panic into doing things ahead of time. but unfortunately that doesnt work either#because if theres one thing my brain will put all its energy into remembering its self assurance. meaning i WILL be able to remember#the real deadline even if i try to trick myself. cant ask someone to give me a fake deadline either#the only things keeping me going rn is that i have deadlines due at least 1 day between each other and excitement being able to talk with#crow after break. but you can see how well thats going <- ignores long term rewards in favor of short term pleasure#BTW CROW IF YOURE READING THIS IM SO SORRY TURNING OFF MY DISCORD WITH BARELY ANY EXPLANATION#im a huge fucking dumbass and i had barely enough impulse control not to block everyone in my dms because i realized that would send a real#really bad msg. youre not distracting me im distracting myself and i promise youre not annoying me i just really like talking to you and#thats why im just barely stopping myself from signing in. I WANT TO TALK TO U LOTS BUT AT THE SAME TIME IM KICKING MYSELF FOR DOING IT#you can be a little mad at me btw cause i definitely could have done that better but i was all over the place abt how to do it without#making u think im ignoring you. IF THAT MAKES SENSE. SORRY#yapping#doodles#puppysona#edit but last week i tried to schedule and give myself work periods and break periods using my class schedule#and reminders on my phone to tell me when to start and stop. can you guess what happened
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i hate that i already told everyone how happy i was allegedly and that i was getting my shit together allegedly but now i realise that it was all hinging on this job and well. the illusion has crumbled! i remember how much i hate office jobs but also dont know what else to do and i remember why i have such issues holding down a job because i get burned out so easily! fuck! and i told too many people i intend on trying sobriety which. also not actually. sobriety would be great to get into fitness and cooking fresh again but! for that i need a fix routine and its not possible with my work schedule! i dont know what to do i wish i did not have to pay rent and shit so i can try out some stuff to find something that i can actually do. im right back where i was six years ago and four years ago and one year ago…
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i had a week off two weeks ago and i was not really able to do much because of a minor surgery and i finally had the mind to read and i took so many walks and it was so nice and ever since i have not been able to shake the feeling things are not working out the way i thought they were. fuck i thought i was finally able to settle and work on myself and be secure but im just back where i was and i feel like now everyone is expecting me to get better and everyone thinks im in a much better place mentally and i feel like a huge disappointment because it was all an illusion.
and i feel so ungrateful and guilty because of all the women stuck in prostitution and i had the privilege to exit and get a posh job im in such a privileged position why cant i just be content and do my silly little job why do i feel so fucking depressed and like i want to scream and so demotivated. well i guess the world around has not changed either and we live in fucking depressing times. but why is it affecting me in a way i cant do my job and provide for myself. aggh
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imflyingfish · 3 months
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I gotta be less hard on myself. Annoyingly i know that my best work comes from when i am hard on myself. But i keep stopping myself from doing things i want to due to perfectionism. Annoying.
#atm i feel like im just chasing interest after interest after interest#ive been working on my mimecraft base a lot but i have. complex feelings about the base atm#im happy with it and its paradise.#its too paradise that it makes me unsettled#which is nonsense its my place and my build#but i feel a lot of pressure to make it perfect#even though I and vee are the only ones who go there and i dont really care about the likes on my posts anymore#it still makes me feel. odd.#i love the work though i love the style and i love using it as a means to imagine a better world#atm im really enjoying just spending time on the server hanging out with vee#but i get into my own head a lot about the base#its not even just the base im talking about everything but the base is the example#i built a bit of a weird interior today i just went crazy with the terracotta and the plants and a pool of water#and i keep thinking on if it was the 'right' thing to do#and if i will be able to complete it properly to a high enough standard#it also doesnt help that ive improved over the course of the last 2 years in building#so now my house looks off and weird and theres trees that need to be taken down and paths that are over textured#but i find the process of doing it and the feeling of completion really deep and important#i dont know. i feel like im constantly in a battle of pushing myself to be better but limiting myself at the same time by having fun or sthn#i feel like i should be making youtube videos or at least prepping to#but i havent because i cant figure out how to organise mods and its freaking me out. theres just loads of excuses stopping me#i dont know.#the annoying thing is pushing myself creatively has resulted in massive benefits for me lately creatively#partly i think why im feeling odd with the base atm is because ive suddenly gone for being barely able to play an hour a night to having all#the time in the world so its created a sudden influx in development#idk. this is rambly#fish talks#i want to download a minec@ft map and remove the suburban housing to replace with higher density properties becsuse ive been watching too#much socialist urban planning videos again and c1t1es skyl1nes just isnt cutting the cheese rn#thats the wrong saying. fandoms censored to avoid crosstagging
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dsgustng · 1 year
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I hate that Disability thing where ur disability is.... debilitating and affects ur every day life in extremely drastic ways... but it always feels like you need to be worse to ever get proper help or be taken seriously..
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prestonmonterey · 7 months
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ughhhh someone kill me i think i might like stay on the third floor today i actually cant deal with her today
#marble musings#vent#shes the only person in my 'friend' group who has the same free block as me#and shes actually a nightmare to be around#im always worried shes gonna take my stuff#(she likes taking my wolf from my hands and my cat ears off my head#and laughs it off as a joke even after i tell her not to??)#and i cant even escape her bc the new friend group that im kind of maybe a part of#she just shows up sometimes#and its awful bc ive seen her make some of my friends uncomfortable and is entirely unapologetic about it#and shes really loud and makes everything about herself and makes conversations impossible#and its annoying bc she kept complaining about not being able to talk to me during free block bc i have headphones on#to listen to music and/or do work#and i was like#'ok you can talk to me if you want idc'#and now she talks to me nonstop during free block regardless of if i tell her i need to get work done#and her existence just kinda stresses me out#but ive never found the right time to tell her to stop#and i cant sit inside where all the tables are bc we usually sit there#and i cant sit outside bc its prolly wet and also she'll find me#and idk if im even allowed to sit upstairs but i kinda have to bc i really dont want to deal with her today#i need like a proper excuse for why im wearing headphones#she doesnt care that i listen to podcasts#and i don have anything to edit#ummmm#i don actually have any hw other than like studying for my math test#fuck ok i guess ill do that#idk what class shes in#umm#if shes also in honors ill cry
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autistic-shaiapouf · 1 year
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Am I the problem. Do my coworkers hate me
#scrambling to restore my reputation so they can at least put in a good word for me when i switch jobs#it's like. it's hard bc all my experience with communication and emotions is terrifying for me bc of my trauma#so i act really irrationally and passively; occasionally passive aggressively and everyone has picked up on it and it's like#i cant just say i didnt go directly to someone and speak my mind bc i was afraid of violence. i cant just say i was afraid#oh also to be able to freely express displeasure with someone without the fear of debilitating guilt.. a theme for me#I'm just. i can only say i have a lot on my mind so many times before it just sounds like an excuse#there is so much effort involved in the masking process and i can only keep it up for so long before i burn out#i try to be a good person i swear on my life i do; i just struggle and feel like I'm expected to not let that become other ppl's issue#like let me be absolutely clear when i say that i was in the wrong and was being frustrating and annoying with what i was doing#I'm just sitting here like. why did we wait so long to say something. i dont know what my behavior looks like#not to express profound sadness on main or anything but. a lot of things feel quite difficult for me#and it feels like the best thing to do is to keep that quiet so i can meet everyone else's baseline#i think. i may need a new job for my mental health. and physical bc my joint pain is worsening with the pharmacy work U_U#hoatm rants
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toastsnaffler · 1 year
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i keep getting irrationally miffed at ppl 😐😐
#'impressed by how much u can talk abt this considering youve not played either game'#fuck off. as if im not just trying to show interest bc u + another friend are both into them + constantly talk abt them in our gc!!#i mean since u guys talk abt them all the time + theyre huge on tumblr like. it would be hard for me to not know anything abt them at all#literally what else can i talk to u guys abt anyway. i dont think there are any interests i personally have that they both gaf abt#if anything they actively dislike most of the things im hyperfixated on. or at least she does so like i cant bring that up can i.#all i did was share a post i saw on tumblr that i thought was funny. its not like i had some negative/controversial opinion#i just saw it and thought hey that makes me think of my friends bc they like those things maybe theyll find it funny too!!#dog sitting outside the door with rly big sad eyes offering them a stick i found in a puddle#i like listening to them talk and i will eventually play some of the games theyre into myself cuz they make them sound rly cool#and even if theyre not my kind of thing i like sharing interests with other ppl and sometimes thats enough for me to be able to enjoy it#i literally own some of them already but im just not in the mental space to start smth new right now. which i have SAID!!!!#why do u even care girl. as if u dont already have a ton of friends playing it that ur talking to abt it???? i wont have anything to add#and thats not gonna stop u from being able to talk to me abt it anyway????? like 2/3 of our conversations atm are abt bg3#man. i know its not that deep but it makes me kinda sad for some reason. im just trying. i guess next time ill just let u guys talk-#to each other or at me and not comment or say anything so u can pretend im not here or whatever it is u want#ughh. she probably didnt even mean it like that and ill feel stupid for getting annoyed and delete this later but whatever.#might work out early today and then i can like draw or play a game or smth the rest of the day. alright lets go#.vent#listening to my silly little jfunk/jazz/soul playlist and i already feel over it. healing
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bandy-andy · 2 years
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YWoOUCH! <- silly guys when they get hurt
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am i the only one who doesn't see purpose in the cycle of work for more work to do more work so that you can earn more work? why should i fucking try if my only reward is getting more work and maybe a "good job keep working". i am. fucking tired.
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madaracore · 1 year
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#dont read this is just. Venting. the way thats easiest for me to get it all out#not to depressionpost but im so fucking lonely its not even funny#i just would like to be able to feel Loved#which is silly bc logically i KNOW that im loved by my (very small) circle but#object permanence or. I guess emotional permanence or WHATEVER you call it just hasnt worked for me in such a long time#and its so very hard to not lash out and be awful in my misery to the ppl around me whenever that bpd switch gets flipped#ik im overly clingy and annoying and hard to get along with. I love and want to be loved and needed like a whimpering dog. i KNOW this.#and ik it doesnt help that every horrible awful clingy insecurity gets amplified by the abandonment and bullying and hurt ive faced#i constantly feel like ive been left on the curb by my loved ones even though i know thats not whats happening.#like im stuck in last place again and again and again. like im not as good or as cherished as their other people.#Its so hard. it makes me want to say and do awful things bc i feel so Abandoned and I HATE IT!!!!!#i fixate on my loved one and get these possessive and insecure feelings over them and its so UGLY.#it was bad enough in high school but Everything Else Thats Happened has made that problem of mine so much harder to cope with and ignore#train derailed but re: the first point. its so hard for me to actually feel like people care and want me around.#And now ive become too afraid to ask for anything bc of how many times theyve cancelled or forgot or ignored the plans we make together.#like is it a me thing? Am i that forgettable? am i that insufferable? why am i always the odd man out?#ugh#Nothing i said makes sense. But whatever#okay sorry this is just a better alternative than hurting myself so.#i hate being alone. i hate having no support system. i hate being stuck in a traumatic and abusive situation i cant get myself out of.#it gets harder and harder to convince myself to keep going.#every day i wake up feeling so Abandoned that i consider sabotaging every good relationship left in my life rehoming my pets n then kms-ing#haha. 🤟🤟🤟🤟#Its hard dealinh with traumatic personality disorders#while also dealing with perpetual ptsd-triggering and almost complete isolation
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marlshroom · 1 month
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came to the fucked up realization after finishing gravity falls again last night the parallels of the dream bubble bill made for mabel and the literal state of delusion he keeps himself in.
in the book of bill on the page where bill cipher describes how he figured out a way to manipulate her into giving him the rift, it says:
"Summers ending, my guy. Ending to death, bro. She'd do anything to make it last just a day longer. Probably something RASH and OUT OF CHARACTER, even!"
as we know, mabel cannot handle the fact that she will be growing up. that the relationship with her brother is going to change. she is scared of high school.
bill then says "That was it. She'd never make a deal with me. But she'd make a deal with someone she believed could give her more time. The dream was done. I had her."
bill then creates the dream bubble for mabel, he makes every one of her dreams come true, a place where time is still and she can be a kid forever. a lie so great that she wont have to face the truth.
in journal 3 on one of the pages bill is writing in code, we see this:
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[ID: "I ask you, why must[should] time only move forward? Why must cause preceded effect. Who voted on the law of physics."]
my friend helped me break down what bill means by this:
why can we only move forward in the 4th dimension of time. why does something have to make another thing happen, why must cause come before the effect. why cant you move backwards, in the other direction, change the decisions youve made.
how interpret this is bill asking why he is not able to back and stop what he did to his family. he says to ford that he tried and failed to undo the past.** why did him wanting people to acknowledge his advantages instead of suppress him lead to the destruction of his whole dimension?
**(i just want to point out that this is probably the time where bill is the MOST open to anybody, or at least the first. to his henchmaniacs he had been telling them that he liberated his dimension until the oracle discovered the truth. here, to ford, he got so much closer to telling the truth. he SHOWS ford the last atoms of his world. he says that it was destroyed by a monster, not that it was liberated! destroyed)
back to when bill says "I had her" about mabel, he had her cause he knew exactly what needed to happen to trap mabel in a delusion because it is exactly what he is doing to himself. creating a fake narrative of what happened to him, that he was vindicated in killing his whole dimension. only ever doing exactly what he wants because confronting the truth is too scary for him(good fucking lord). the morality page offers good insight into this too.
i am actually just going to quote the whole page and highlight the important part. it speaks for itself really
"THE POINT IS it's[morality] is a very flexible concept! But parents and presidents don't want you to know that, because then you might start asking other questions, like who put them in charge, anyway? So they cram your brain full of guilt and regrets for transgressing the laws that they just made up(the laws that they made to prevent the destruction of their dimension, regardless of if the law + the wrongful medication of a fucking baby triangle did any good to actually prevent it). Wouldn't it be nice if you could put all that baggage down? Quell the shame that follows you everywhere for a lifetime of crimes? MAKE THE SCREAMS FINALLY STOP? The good news is you CAN silence that annoying voice, and here's how!
DENIAL
Works 100% of the time in every situation. What you you mean there are people who disagree? I can confidently say there aren't!
RATIONALIZATION
If you can do it, you can justify it! "Truth" is open-source code and anyone can edit it anytime! Want to be like me? List 3 "evil" things and then 3 "reasons why they're actually good." You'll be rationalizing like Bill in no time!
DETACHMENT
Did you know 100% of your human cells die and are replaced every 7 years? That means that anything you did 7 years ago wasn't even you-it was some dead loser! You can't be held accountable for what a dead person did! What? You think this is just another form of rationalization? I DENY THAT!
THE BILL CIPHER DECISION METHOD!
Working over the eons, the voices in my head teamed up and worked out a foolproof method for making any decision in any situation.
DO WHATEVER I WANT."
ooooooooooooooooooh boy.
he is fully admitting here that he is living in a completely different really in order to justify doing whatever he wants. he gives mabel the tools to deny, to rationalize, to detach herself from the reality of it all. that time has to move forward. and he thinks it will work because it worked on himself.
but it doesn't work on mabel because she understands that she needs other people. shes vunerable, she lets people in, admits when shes wrong. and bill cant do that because it would destroy the fantasy he's created for himself.
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ellecdc · 7 months
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Mother..... im so sorry 😭😭 but i swear this ones fun!!
What about another part to poly!moonwater where theres a party but Reg and Rem are running late.
Reg: * anxious and fidgety*
Rem: you know we dont have to go
Reg: no no no we most definetly do, anyway its not that. You havent seen y/n in this environmemt before have you?? She thrives in this kind of environment.
Rem: cant be that bad.....
Reg: 😶 think of Potter, Barty amd my brother in one person.
Rem: 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🥲
So when they get there reader is dancing on tables with Barty and Siri. Just the kind of person who lets go in that kinda vibe, doesnt even have to drink, its just the atmosphere that causes her personality to do a whole 180°. The kinda person you habe to but an airtag on so you dont loose them
I love it I love it I love it I love it
poly!moonwater x fem!reader
CW: mention of drinking, drunkenness and alcohol. Friends looking after their drunk friends. Friends bullying their other drunk friends (lovingly)
Remus was thankful that tonight’s Hogwarts party wasn’t being hosted in Gryffindor tower. Not only did James and Sirius get far too invested before, during, and afterwards, but it was also just harder to enjoy on account of watching what was basically your living room be trashed by a bunch of drunks. 
But tonight, he was going to be able to enjoy a nice time with his friends without any of the responsibility of having to clean up after said friends. 
And better yet, he was going to enjoy a nice time with you and Regulus; the first party the three of you would attend together as partners.
You had been very excited for tonight and had volunteered to help set up, whilst Remus opted to wait for Regulus who had quidditch practice before hand. 
And Remus was currently very happy with his choice as he got to watch Regulus change out of his quidditch gear and into his party attire.
“Would you quit ogling me, you fiend.” Regulus muttered as be buttoned the cufflinks into his dress shirt. Remus would have made fun of him for dressing so formally to a dorm party if he didn’t look so bloody good.
“Nope.” He said, popping the P.
Regulus rolled his eyes, but Remus could see a small smirk playing on his lips.
Regulus let out a steadying breath and turned to Remus. “Are you ready?”
Remus smiled before puckering his lips instead of answering. Regulus looked like he thought he should be annoyed, but ultimately gave in and pressed a kiss to the werewolf’s lips, hovering slightly above him as Remus sat reclined onto his elbows on Regulus’ bed.
Regulus pulled away all too quickly for Remus’ liking and began fussing in front of the mirror again, clearly anxious.
“Are you alright?” He asked gently, sitting up properly.
Regulus sighed but nodded in the affirmative.
“We don’t have to go, you know.” Remus tried, mistaking the boy’s nerves for being reclusive.  
Regulus kind of snorted at that and looked at Remus with a raised eyebrow. “No, we should go. In fact, we ought to go...like, now.”
Remus felt his brows furrow as Regulus headed towards the door, getting up and following him out obediently.
“This isn’t one of those ‘if we go sooner, we can leave sooner’ tactics, is it? Because with James and Sirius, I promise you that won’t work.”
Regulus laughed. “No, though I’d like to point out I am not afraid of those sods.”
“Well, who are you afraid of that has you sprinting to Ravenclaw tower right now?” Remus asked, causing Regulus to grimace a little guiltily as he slowed his stride for the lycanthrope. 
“Sorry... I guess you haven’t seen Y/N at one of these?” Regulus asked.
Remus realized then that your paths had never really crossed until this year, being a year below him and hanging out with a different crowd. “No, I guess not. Why?” 
Regulus laughed. “Oh gods. You’ll see.”
“Come on, she can’t be that bad.” Remus said with a scoff. 
Regulus rolled his eyes and smirked. “If I had one way to describe Y/N at a party, it would be a combination of Potter after a quidditch win, Sirius after four shots of firewhiskey and Barty.”
Remus’ steps faltered as he put the pieces together in his head. Regulus paused as well, making eye contact with him before understanding seemed to cross between them, and they both took off in a sprint towards the Ravenclaw tower. 
As they rounded the last spiral of the staircase, they stepped past the silencing spell that had been placed around it and could feel the vibrations from the music booming in the room. 
A third year Ravenclaw who had been paid for their service in Honeydukes chocolates answered the riddle to allow entrance to Regulus and Remus, and the sight took Remus’ breath away. 
You can dance! You can ji-ive.
You were standing dancing on the mantle of a grand fireplace with Sirius on one side of you and one of the Prewett twins on the other.
Having the time of your lives. Oooooh.
James looked like he’d been trying all evening to get up on that mantle with you guys, but in his inebriated state, Lily was easily preventing him from doing so.  
See that girl!
Both Sirius and... Fabian (if Remus guessed correctly) knelt to dramatically point at you who quickly struck a cheeky pose, earning the three of you cheers (but Remus was sure most of the applause was on your account).
Watch that scene!
Sirius pretended to play a riff on a guitar and Fabian did a scary looking spin from his place on the mantle whilst you opted to shimmy your shoulders in time with the music. 
Digging the dancing queen!
And to Remus’ absolutely horror, Fabian launched himself off of the mantle, seemingly making his mark by landing on the couch but apparently, he hadn’t taken into account the springs in the sofa which promptly launched him back off of the couch and had him landing on the wooden coffee table, causing it to splinter and break underneath him. 
Sirius looked like he was going to either fall off the mantle or piss his pants from laughing too hard, clutching your arm as you laughed along with him. 
Over Remus’ dead body would Sirius fall off a fireplace mantle and take you down with him.
He bodily moved through the crowd and stepped over Fabian without a second thought to stand below you (and Sirius, technically). Remus’ heart rate skyrocketed even more standing here below you, seeing as he was about 192cm (~6’3) and the mantle stood basically at his eyebrows.
He wanted to chide you, but your face cleared beautifully once you recognized who was standing below you.
“Remmy!” You cried as Sirius cheered “Moony!”
“I know I call you ‘dove’ baby girl, but that doesn’t mean you can fly!” He called up to you, any reprimand likely belittled by the beaming smile he was shooting at you. 
He held his hands up to you, and you quickly abandoned Sirius’ arms in exchange for his. With his hands under your armpits he gently lowered you back down to your proper height (which Remus much preferred). 
“Hi Rem!” You cheered at him. “I missed you.”
Your words were clear and loud if a little slurred. 
“I missed you!” Remus replied with a smile as Regulus quickly added “how many drinks have you had?” from his place behind him, apparently having made sure his ‘idiot brother didn’t break anything on his trip off the mantle’. Remus had sort of forgotten Sirius was there at all, to be honest. 
You seemed a little worried at Regulus’ question before he quickly added “I need to know how many I need to catch up to you, mon chéri.”
“Nice save.” Remus muttered to him.
“Uhm, maybe four?” You offered.
“Got it, think you can handle a refill?” He asked, placing a kiss to your temple. Remus wanted to eat the two of you up, you were just so cute.
“I’m on water for a bit!” You cheered back at him.
“So smart, dovey. Nice call.” Remus praised you. You beamed back at him in response. 
“S’not fair!” James shouting interrupted your chat.
“I’ll go get you a drink too, okay?” Regulus whispered into Remus’ ear before quickly taking off, clearly not interested in the whining of an inebriated James Potter.
“M’not ‘llowed to dance on th’mantle, m’not allowed to-to play with the play with the suit’s o’armours. Why’d I even come.” James cried miserably between hiccups.
“James, you cannot sword fight with the suits of armours, you will lose. When you lose a sword fight, you die.” Lily reprimanded, clearly at her wits end with her boyfriend.
“Awe, tough hand mate. Hey! Can I challenge you to a chugging contest?” Remus said, clapping James on the back.
James seemed to brighten up at that as Lily quickly scowled at him. Remus offered the redhead a wink as he plucked your cup of water out of your hands and handed it to James.
“’kay, but no cheating!” James called to Remus. Remus figured James was too drunk to realize one couldn’t really cheat at a chugging contest, but Remus didn’t plan on winning anyway.
Regulus had returned at the perfect time for Remus to take a drink and bring it to his lips. James, in his enthusiasm ended up wearing most of the water, but claimed he won after downing the rest of it.
“No way James, I want a rematch!” Remus called, grabbing the new cup of water Regulus had brought over for you - quickly promising to make it up to you - and handing it off to James.
The group ended up being able to keep James entertained by challenging him to ‘chugging contests’ whilst handing him cups of water until he had to pee. 
Remus got to watch you flit around the party, dancing to your hearts content (though, he did make sure to discourage you from anymore high surface areas. When he couldn’t, he made sure to spot you from below), and even convincing Regulus to ball dance with you, even though it was to the likes of Jackson 5. Though you quickly abandoned him for Sirius when Play That Funky Music came on.
Remus was sat in a large cushioned chair with Regulus in his lap as they watched you, clearly in your element. 
“Gods, she’s fun.” Remus whispered to his boyfriend. Regulus breathed out a chuckle and leaned further into Remus.
“She is. She can be trouble sometimes though. Probably good that Barty’s nowhere to be found.”
Regulus’ voice trailed off confusedly at the end.
“What is it?” Remus asked, but you came barrelling over to them, slightly sweaty and breathless from your dancing.
“Hi.” You breathed excitedly, falling to your knees in front of them.
“Hi dovey! Having fun?” Remus asked, bringing his hand not currently holding his drink and wrapped around Regulus’ waist to caress your face. His heart squeezed as your eyes closed and you leaned into the touch. “S’much fun.”
“Amour, where is Barty?” Regulus asked.
Your eyebrows furrowed momentarily before a cheeky smile crossed your face as you remembered.
“Oh, he’s...hanging around.” You offered vaguely. 
“Should I be worried?” Regulus asked cautiously, earning him a snort from Lily as she hauled a nearly sleeping James over to the couch beside them.
“The sod was swinging from the chandelier and got stuck. None of us bothered trying to get him down – he’s fast asleep.” She explained, gesturing to the ceiling with a nod of her head.
Sure enough, nearly right above them, Barty was passed out cold as if he were simply swinging in a hammock. 
“Hm...” Regulus deadpanned, narrowing his eyes at you. “Amour, did someone bet Barty that he couldn’t manage to get to the chandelier?” 
“No.” You answered quickly, defiantly. Regulus continued staring impassively at you until you sighed. “I bet him he couldn’t get down from the chandelier.” 
“And she was right.” Lily added, giving you a fist bump.
Regulus let out a long suffering sigh, causing Remus to chuckled and rub his side placatingly. 
“Fair enough, sweets.” He conceded.
“Easy for you to say.” Regulus muttered. “You aren’t responsible for getting him down.”
“Just leave him up there.” Sirius commented; he wasn’t quite as drunk as Remus expected him to be, but his movements were still sloppy as he moved to sit on the floor beside you. “That’s apparently what friends do.” He said pointedly, glaring at Remus and sticking his tongue out at him.
“I had more important priorities.” He said, winking down at you.
“Are-are you s,saying that Y/N’s more impo- important than your mate, Rmussss?” James said – barely – through hiccups.
“Certainly prettier priorities.” Regulus commented.
“Oi!” Sirius shouted far louder than necessary. “You take that back!” 
“I’ll do no such thing.” Regulus responded casually. 
Sirius went to stand from his place, no doubt to try to roughhouse his brother. 
“It’s okay Sirius. I think you’re very pretty. Next time, you can be the dancing queen.” You placated. Sirius turned to look at you like you hung the moon.
“Really?!” He cried. You nodded, causing the sod to launch himself, tackling you in a hug and causing the two of you to fall over.
“Oi! Don’t crush my darlin’ girl, Pads!” Remus called at the same time as Regulus spat “if she has so much as one fucking bruise Sirius, I swear to Salazar...”
“Do forgive him,” Lily commented, “he was just informed he could be the next dancing queen.”
“Why mess with perfection? I happen to think Y/N was a wonderful dancing queen!” Marlene called from somewhere behind Remus.
“I MISSED DANCING QUEEN!?” Barty screeched from his aerial prison above them.
Regulus let out another long-suffering sigh as he stood, lifted you up out of Sirius’ grasp and placed you in his vacated spot on Remus’ lap. “I’ll go get my broom to get him down...”
“How’d you manage to win that bet, dove?” Remus whispered as Regulus disappeared through the door, pressing his nose to the pulse point of your neck.
“Sticking charm.”
Remus chuckled and felt the breaths leaving his nose bounce off your skin and back into his face. 
“My cheeky little minx.”
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hannieehaee · 4 months
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could i request svt with a socially shy s/o. like they are shy in public and around people they don't know, but themselves around the members and othe people they are close to?
their s/o being shy around others
content: established relationship, reader is shy and/or socially anxious, fluff, etc.
wc: 820
a/n: im so shy in real life omg this came from the heart
masterlist
seungcheol -
he adoooores when people depend on him so he'd kinda selfishly enjoy that you're on the shier side. he gets to enjoy you while alone/with friends and also gets to have you stick by his side constantly while out and about. the best of both worlds in his eyes.
jeonghan -
he'd tease you about it but lovingly<3 would love the contrast between how at ease you were with him in comparison to how timid you'd become whenever you were alone and with strangers. he'd take pity on you and always take charge in social situations, knowing you were a little shy (but he'd still bug you about it afterwards bc he's annoying as shit by nature).
joshua -
he'd sadistically enjoy watching you struggle to interact with other people from afar. would chuckle and make faces at you from wherever he was just to let you know he was enjoying your pain. this would all be in jest though!! he'd never actually want you to feel alone or embarrassed, so he'd always let you be your shy self when in public, enjoying that he was one of the only privileged enough to know your real personality.
jun -
poor baby is also a little bit shy himself, so you'd be stuck in a situation where you're both shy in public. however!! you're both extremely energetic and outgoing when you're with one another, so it'd work out just fine as long as u have each other. teamwork!!
soonyoung -
he's just like you!!! he's an shy and introverted around others but insanely social and outgoing while with friends. he often gets confused for an extrovert bc of how energetic and friendly he is with people close to him. you'd both be the lives of the party while together, while being closed off whenever in public. it worked perfectly for the two of you.
wonwoo -
he's a lil quiet and maybe teeny bit shy, but he can handle himself just fine in social situations. would think the contrast between you in public and you behind closed doors was adorable. would tease you about your shy demeanor a little bit, but not too much (specially since he found it cute).
jihoon -
he'd relate to you a bit. he can handle social interaction just fine, but he'd rather not, which is why he rarely goes out. you'd rarely ever have to deal with being around other people while with him, so even though he'd be aware you were shier than himself, he'd think it's normal since he can kind of relate.
seokmin -
he'd the the type of person to introduce you to other people by saying you're shy and making you feel awkward lol. he'd do it with the best of intentions but would end up making you feel even more closed off. he'd also be the type to handle all social interactions if you so wished, being the epitome of social himself.
mingyu -
being the polar opposite, he'd be extremely endeared by you. would not be able to understand how or why you're so shy but would also never judge you. he'd take it upon himself to always stick by you in social situations bc he knows how shy you get sometimes. would occasionally not step in just to see you blush in embarrassment, eventually dragging you away to swoon over how cute he found you.
minghao -
understands and empathizes with you. you cant help being shy, and he's not gonna make you feel badly about it. would still try and encourage you in public, but would accept that you only ever felt comfortable being yourself when you were with the people closest to you. in a way, this made him feel like you reserved a special part of yourself only for those you loved – like him.
seungkwan -
he's the definition of extroverted and outgoing to the point that i dont think he's even aware of the concept of shyness. his extrovertedness makes up for anyone else's shyness, so he'd be your perfect match. would find it cute that you'd be sooo outgoing while alone with him and friends but would turn around and be a shy mess whenever you went out.
vernon -
even though he's on the quiet side, he's not shy at all, so he'd think it was cute when you'd ask him to tag along when you went out so that he could do the talking. he's such a straightforward guy, he would not mind at all. would feel like a good and dependable boyfriend any time you asked him this, and would feel even happier knowing you felt so comfortable with him.
chan -
if you ever felt awkward or shy in public, he'd take it upon himself to break the ice by cracking jokes or embarrassing himself. he knows you're a little shy while around other people, so he'd always be down to help you out if you needed it.
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rayraelleaizawa · 7 months
Text
They say something hurtfull in an argument
TW: sad, slight angst, fighting
Characters: Shanks, Beckmann, Mihawk
Side note: a bit ooc cause they'd never say something like that but we live for angst
Part 2: Making up after an argument
Shanks
"Why do you always have to be drunk?" i asked him as he woke up with yet another hangover. Being together with Shanks is amazing, he loves you, he gives you everything you could wish for and more, but there is one thing you hate about his beheaviour: the constant drinking.
"Because we are pirates, we have to party" Shanks answered with a grin before he groans due to his headache.
"This drinking will kill you one time, do you know that? It's also a huge downturn in bed when i want to kiss you and all i can smell is alcohol on your breath." You kept on complaining, tired of this. "Alcohol damages your body so much, do you want to die so much earlier or what?" you snapped at him.
"Maybe I need something to make me feel better about your constant bickering." Shanks said with a growl, the grin disappearing.
You halted in your tracks. A look of hurt crossed your face as you shut your mouth close. Sadness welled up inside you at the thought, that you were also a reason why he kept on having this extremly unhealthy habit.
"I'm sorry then" you said quietly and walked out of your shared quarters, now probably only his quarters, cause you werent sure if you want to go back there and sleep next to him.
You were just worried about him, why didnt you notice that you were annoying him with that? You never said anything, helped him out of all his problems that he caused by himself with his childish demeanour, you only scolded him when he hurt himself. He never hurts others, he only lets himself get hurt. And that frustrated you beyond believe.
Didnt he know how much you cared for him? Did he even care? Are you even enough to make him start to look out for himself?
Tears rolled down your cheeks as you hid yourself in an empty room on the ship. You tried so much to accept his drinking habbits, you didnt even ask him to stop, just to not be drunk 6 and a half days of the week, and that every week.
You burried your face in your knees and cried. Where you that insufferable that he hurts his own body just to be able to endure your company? If you left, then he wouldnt do this to himself anymore, right?
Benn Beckman
"Really? Another one?"
You say annoyed as you watch your boyfriend light up another cigarette.
"Yes. Another one."
He plainly answers. You guys had this discussion before. You wanted him to smoke less, he said he'd try to but the amount doesnt get any less.
"Benn this really damages your lungs. Cant you please try to smoke less?"
You asked again, and he sighed annoyed.
"They help me relax."
You started to get annoyed by his short answers.
"You could relax with other stuff. You could take a bath, or i could massage you, or we could just spend time together."
You suggested as he sighed out audibly annoyed.
"And you think after all the work and stress I have the whole day I want to spend it around a person which constantly nags on me and where i cant let my mind settle even a bit?"
He snapped, looking at you angrily. You looked at him with an unmoving face before you adverted your eyes. You didnt want to show him that his words hurt.
"I'm sorry, I didnt know you couldnt let your guard down around me."
You said defeated, turning around and slowly walking away. You could hear him say your name quietly but you didnt want to turn around. You just walked under deck and into your cabin. You sat down on your desk and started working, tears running down your face as you felt a coldness within you.
Does he not trust me enough? I didnt know that I am a stress factor for him.
Dark thoughts pleagued your mind as you tried to just work through your feelings. You tried to not be even more of a burden. Tears ran down your face, some of them hitting the desk and some hitting the papers with the lists and research about the treasures your crew had gotten lately.
Benn works so hard, and I never made him feel better. I just added to his stress. He'd be better off alone, right?
Dracule Mihawk
"Could you please tell me when you plan on leaving?"
You said to Mihawk as he came back after two months without telling you that he'll be gone.
"Why? I have my own free will if i remember correctly."
"Because I worry about you when you just suddenly disappear! It isnt that hard to just leave a note or something when you cant tell me in the face that you have to leave."
You were angry at him. What did he think? He was your boyfriend so why couldnt he just tell you when he left for weeks?
He puts down his hat and went to get some vine but you stopped him. Him not even looking at you makes you feel like you're unimportant to him, that this whole matter is of no interest to him.
"Do you really care so little about my feelings? Or am I just a nuissance to you right now that you cant even stop walking when I talk with you."
He then looked at you, annoyance but also a sign of being unbothered on his face.
"You're acting like a child. If I leave again and dont come back you'll at least know why now."
He said that so matter of factly that you were stunned about his coldness. He moved around you to the kitchen to grab some vine, and you just stood there.
Did he really just say that I am the reason why he doesnt want to come home anymore?
You shook your head slightly, recalling his words again and trying not to be hurt by them. As you hear his steps starting to come back, you hurried out of the room and into your shared bedroom. Tears streamed down your face as you tried to make it make sense.
When did he start hating to come back to you? What exactly was so annoying about you? Why didnt he just tell you that he didnt like your behaviour anymore? Does he even like you anymore?
All those thoughts were running through your head as you packed the little clothes and stuff you owned. You didnt touch a thing that he bought for you. If he wanted to leave and not come back, then you will make it easier for him and leave on your own. That's what he wants, isnt it?
After you finished packing you quietly stepped out of his castle and made your way into the woods. Tears were still streaming down your face, but you ignored them. This was for the best, right?
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sashi-ya · 4 months
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THAT BOY IS A MONSTER. hibino kafka x f! reader. sinze kink
⋆ requested by: anon. Congrats on 8k sashi!!! you deserve them all! I'm so happy you are writing for Kaiju n8!!! I hope I don't f up with my request, so here I go: kafka x f! reader, nsfw with any kink but can you add size kink? thank you sashi! 😁💓 ⋆ tw: mdni. explicit smut. oral. kinda public, no people around though. oral. size kink. sweet and hot best boy kafka. ⋆ wc: 2.5K // event masterlist // tagging: @i-literally-cant-with-this & @southside-otaku 💕
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“Hibino Kafka!” you exclaim. Another night, another late study session from the hard working “old man”.
“YES?!” he stands up, jolting from his seat, scared he might be in trouble. However, he calms down as it’s you instead of Hoshina scolding him for staying up too late.
However, you are there to do exactly that… and maybe, perhaps, win his heart.
“Sleeping is part of your j-“ “Sleeping is part of the job, I know…”
He knows you are right, but there is something he needs to do; to be able to fight along Ashiro Taichou. And that makes your blood boil…
“Just- never mind” you mumble, noticing no matter what you say it will never make him change his mind. And is not that you don’t want him to pursue his dreams, but there is a part of you that is absolutely jealous. However, about that, he doesn’t know a single thing.
Turning around, you know this will be yet another night like any other. No approaches to the man once saved you during battle. No  changes, no kisses… or so you thought.
As you are about to leave, his -pretty big- hand wraps around your wrist. A dominant grip it both made you shiver and scared you, prevents you from leaving.
The only light around, coming from the little table lamp, is the only source of light on the base library. Silence reigns as most of the officers sleep, and yet the only noise you could hear is your heart pumping blood alarmingly accelerated.
“You worry a lot about me, (Name). I must thank you!” him, solemnly and sweet, expresses.
You scoff. A thank you isn’t enough to your heart. That laughter sounds louder, absolutely tinted in sarcasm. Kafka, why are you so slow?
“is everything ok?” he continues, still holding your arm but this time softening the grip little by little.
“I care because I like you, Kafka” you finally spit, rather painfully or even annoyed. You understand how love works, but your heart can’t stand him having eyes just for Mina.
Silence. He is silent like a night with no Kaiju alerts. Like death, profoundly mute.
You get to release yourself from his hand, internally desperate to run away. You know there is no point in staying… you don’t want to hear apologies for liking her and not you. But then again, you were wrong.
“I LIKE YOU TOO!” he shouts, the only way he knows how to.
In awe, you turn around to discover a sweet -and sleepy- dumbass blushed up until the tip of his ears. His eyes, opened wide. His back straight. The little belly you love, sucked it up.
“You do?”
He swallows, takes a big gasp of air and his face transforms. From a silly teenager in love, to a mature man with a mission; communicate how much he likes you.
Kafka walks towards you, seizing the space in between you two. You swallow too, he is taller than you; bigger than you; stronger than you.
“Can we go to the rooftop?” he asks, as his hand reaches your cheek. It’s soft, and manly… the touch you never thought you would experience.
You nod, out of words. And out of words as well is how you walk behind him as you both climb the ladder to reach the terrace.
A soft breeze plays with your hair and his white flowy shirt. Ahead, the city lights of Tokyo glitter on a dark sky and everything around seems to be asleep as you two should be.
He bends over the railing; Kafka seems worried.
“Why did you… wanted to come here?” you ask, coming closer and yet keeping a reasonable distance from him.
He turns around, opening his arms, smiling sweetly so all of a sudden. “Come here” Kafka calls you to his embrace.
You hesitate for some seconds, but your smile finally takes over your whole face. How to say no to that big dumbass you are also in love with?
As you let yourself be engulfed in his big arms, you inhale his perfume. Never have you ever been this close to him, but you quickly get used to the scent of this manly man.
A hug so warm, his hands hanging loosely over the small of your back. A little bit lower, and those would meet your ass.
You keep your nose buried on the very centre of his chest, and your hands shyly around his waist. Even if you wish to hug his whole frame, you wouldn’t be able to.
“Silly” you murmur, muzzled. “Don’t call me silly… although, I prefer it over “old man”” he huffs, hugging you closer. So close, you are unable to breathe.
“See, I prefer someone older…” you whisper -lustfully looking into his eyes- the moment he lets you breathe for a little bit.
Kafka swallows, but it looks as if he had his throat dry. He can feel his palms getting sweaty, and all the blood of his human body migrating to a single place.
Your hand, because there is nothing else both could do to stop this, grazes his belly up his chest. You go slow, painfully slow. Your fingertips landing on his sharp mandible, feeling the raspier sensation of his unshaved chin.
He grabs your hand, allowing you to rest your full palm on his cheek for some time. But soon enough, it’s him who is placing his thumb on your lower lip. He softly plays with it, slowly and delicately opening your mouth, bringing you closer to his lips as well.
On tippy toes, you do your best to receive his kiss, but it’s him the one to bend enough to do so. Like a protective creature that is also about to attack you.
And oh, how he “attacks” you… his lips crash onto yours, with a surprising passion. Of course, he knows how to treat a woman, he is not a youngster anymore.
Tongues that dance, and huge hands on your body. Still respectful, but hot enough, one landing on your waist while the other presses your nape. His fingers tangle on your hair, pulling ever so slightly.
Your nails carve into his back, sure that those marks will be cause of interrogation coming from the officers during the next community bath time.       
The more the kiss deepens, the more he is tempted to undress you right there. And you, of course, think exactly the same way.
Kafka lifts you up, sitting you on the railing. You are safe; no matter how high you both are on that rooftop; you know you are if he is the one protecting you.
His kisses travel from your mouth to your neck; Kafka inhales your skin perfume, getting hungrier from your flesh the more he does. And the first bite arrives, leaving a mark you will need to dissimulate the next following days.
“I want you…” you mutter, in between heated breathe taking kisses. “I- ngh… I want you, too” he words, nervous, hard, needy, desperate, feral and also blushed.
You unzip your uniform jacket, praying no camera were on up there. Breasts still covered by your compression shirt, begging for Kafka to reach them. Nipples hard, ready for his tongue to play with them.
“Can I?” he asks, as if he needed to. “Please ~” you purr. “Hold on tight, I don’t want you to fall” he adds, using both of his palms to finally land on your turgent chest.
He squeezes and plays; he is still a little bit of a dumb. But soon enough, he focuses on sliding your shirt up. His eyes transform once again when he gets to see your naked upper part, almost like a salivating beast, he pounces right on to it.
Kneeled on the ground, he is able to bury his face on your breasts, followed by a wet mouth avid to devour each of them in the most delicious way. Sucking, biting and licking, making your eyes turn white.
But he wants to taste every single one of the delicacies you have to offer, and because of that he urges you to stand right back on the floor while he continues to kneel like a praying devotee of your godly anatomy.
And your most both pure and impure anatomy is what he discovers, as Kafka slides down your uniform pants into the floor.
“please… you are so perfect” he whispers, placing a sweet kiss on your right thigh.
You feel your muscles spasming, but also trembling. What a man he is.
Another kiss follows, right on top of your mound of Venus, causing your knees to faulter a little and for him to scoff in a cute way.
“Don’t- don’t laugh…” you scold him, pulling softly from his short hair. “I’m just happy ~” he smiles, kissing a couple of centimetres down the last peck.
You bite your lip; this game of lust is making you -and your sex- grow impatient. Already. Eat. Me. Out. Hibino Kafka.
He looks up at you, with eyes you’ve only seen while fighting Kaiju and a smirk that’s closer to a devil than anything else. Index slides your panties down, allowing your wet core out and dripping down your legs.
Gloating, he takes a final look at what he is about to eat, and so… there he goes. A tongue that’s suspiciously great and kinda long, plays in between your folds.
You try to supress moans and whines, but it’s tough work when it comes to such precise and delicious pleasure. And it is that Kafka lifts your right leg to make it rest on top of his shoulder, to suck and devour you even deeper.
“Kafk-Kafka-kun… my- ugh….” You can barely mouth incoherent words, a sign of your brain getting totally taken over by climax.
“Not yet..” he giggles, enjoying the taste of your core into his tongue. Kafka is not only delighted; he is over the moon -and probably trying to hold back his kaiju form not to finally reveal in front of you-
A last kiss on your belly button takes him to stand up; you, panting, can’t believe he has just stood up before making you come… but he has better plans for that matter.
“Can I fuc-“ “yes, you can fuck me” “Yoshi!”
The sweetest dumbass grabs you by your waist, and this time he doesn’t sit you on the railing but over what you presume must be some kind of air duct construction on the rooftop. You don’t exactly know what that is, but the chivalry on your lover won’t let your precious booty sit on a probably dirty cement surface, and instead, he takes his shirt off to place it in between to protect you.
You take a moment to appreciate his body; strong and still so real. A little bump on his belly, proper for his age… so. fucking. hot. Several marks, battle scars that haven’t healed just yet, catches your attention… when did he ever got his body cut with blades?
However, something you weren’t expecting -or maybe you did, imagining during lonely nights- was the size of his sex as it is freed from his lose pants.
You swallow. Is this… gonna fit?
“Kafka-kun?” you whisper. “mh…?” he asks, pumping a rather large shaft ready.
You blink rapidly, opening your legs enough for his hips to reach closer. With one hand sustaining your body over the surface, and the other shily touching the warmth of his throbbing dick you barely mumble words;
“You- big” “I’ll be gentle, I promise (Name)-chan”
He sounds by far sincere. But truth is… perhaps you don’t want him to be gentle, at all.  There is something, so absolutely attractive of a man like him. Of a man so sweet and still so feral… as if he had a confidential secret, as if he deep inside hid an untamed monster.
Well now, he has two secrets. And one of them has just been revealed by you. The size of that man is not only equivalent to his courage, but also quite literally in terms of anatomy.
“Don’t be gentle…” you moan into his ear, as his tip gets closer to your entrance and his body covers the moonlight above you.
Kafka grunts; you shouldn’t have said it that way…
Deep. Deep enough to show on your belly as a protruding bulge. Deep enough to make you loudly mewl. Hopefully nobody has heard. Deep enough to trigger your body to stand on the verge of precipice, on the verge of climax.
Slaps sounds take over. His belly against yours, the kisses inhaling the little oxygen left; that, and the soft growls and huffs of that man decided to fuck you until paradise.
It feels like your walls are being ripped apart, and so incredibly good at the same time. So full of him, the scent of his skin getting stronger; his body sweating, the faster and harder his thrusts become.
“Co-coming…” you communicate, muzzled by his lips. “Very good -ngh…” he does the same, hitting the right spot inside of you as if he was made perfectly for you.
Hands squeezing your butt, teeth pulling your lip. Your legs around his waist, pulling him closer, unable to go away… to pull back. Your nails once again carved on his back, your walls squeezing, milking him up.
“Ahhh fuck…” “fuck, fuck, fuck…”
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toastsnaffler · 5 months
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ohhhhh my god girl i don't careeeee
#love my roommate but urghhhh. sorry they dont make enough fictional female characters that interest u but u dont need to justify it to me#write your mlm its literally fine. sorry but ur not gonna gain my respect or approval by defending why u write more mlm than wlw#i dont care if u have equal amounts of each or not LOL we just have different tastes thats all there is to it#and I KNOOOOOOWWWW she writes femslash too im not denying that !!!!!!#most of my fav media is lesbian centric bc I have a strong connection to my identity as a dyke. so i gravitate towards things that explore-#that + complex relationships to gender + its social enforcement etcetc. and its easier for me to get attached to characters that i can-#connect with bc we have shared experiences or the world percieves us in similar ways or we percieve the world in similar ways etc#and shes said she DOESNT feel particularly attached to her sexuality in that way. so ofc shes not going to be looking for the same things-#in media and thats OKAY!!#literally have nothing against her writing gay men i like some fictional mlm relationships myself!! and its cool that she enjoys it#i just find it disappointing that we dont have much in common taste-wise bc thatd be more fun to talk abt#but thats why i come on tumblr dot com.. to talk abt fictional women w dykes who understand them like i do amen#and im happy to listen to her talk abt things she likes and projects shes clearly enjoying working on like thats awesome love to hear it#but sometimes its like shes trying to persuade me abt smth but theres nothing to persuade. i dont knooooow#like ik shes not trying to get me into her interests she already has plenty of friends who are. but theres no approval to win from me???#i think im just annoyed bc i feel like i cant rly talk abt the things im into w her bc she disliked them so much#and also annoying to be around someone who shares an identity w me but is clearly more uncomfortable w it than i am#maybe thats not even true actually the real reason im annoyed is bc ive had a long and exhausting week and im coming down from-#my first day on new meds and im soooo so so tired have i sajd that already. and my head hurts#and i want a fucking hug and im just projecting my lack of physical and emotional intimacy onto her bc she happens to be the person i-#spend the most time with. but thats really unfair of me its not her fault or obligation at all. ah i just want to shower and sleeeepp#and tomorrow day 2 of meds im gonna get so much shit done!!!!!!!! i hope.. i wanna finish drafting my comic too teehee#wouldnt it be so crazy if now im medicated i might actually be able to start and finish projects i reallyyyy want to do..#well i wont get my hopes up yet#anyway........#another day another 5 million tag rambling post complaining abt everything. and dont expect me to ever stop 😚#.diaries#literally why would i care abt the tastes of a girl whose fave character in tlt was naberius........#she rly had to pick one of the ONLY men and not even one of the particularly interesting ones. and shes not even straight???? her loss 🙄
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