#will probably post it sometime tomorrow if i still like it when i wake up

[vanivanvanilla]

bad news i haven’t gone to bed yet. good news i wrote a short zamgi fic. also bad news it’s one-sided

[sanarsi]

Favourite Lamb

post-Jackson!Joel Miller x f!Reader

Summary: Joel finally has what he wanted – a quiet life, a farm, and you. After a hard day at work, you're eager to take care of your man. Warnings: +18, MDNI, porn with a little bit of plot, old man!Joel, soft/rough throat fucking, soft!dom!Joel, blowjob, post-Jackson!Joel, age gap (not specified) Wordcount: 2k An: We love taking care of our man so it's nothing more than giving him pleasure. Music I worked with: Sweet - Cigarette After Sex

Masterlist

A quiet noise woke you from your sleep. You looked around the dark room, noticing that the other side of the bed was still empty. You frowned, realizing that Joel still hadn't joined you even though it was late and he should’ve been home by now. 

Another noise caught your attention, so you slowly stood up and quietly opened the door. The dim light reached the hallway from the living room where a quiet curse had come from. You recognized the voice, so you headed towards. 

A loud sigh echoed off the walls as you peeked out from behind the wall. 

“Joel?”  Your soft voice caught the attention of the man sitting on the couch. 

He looked up in shock to see you up at this hour. “Shit,” he cursed, realizing it was probably his fault. “I didn’t mean to wake you up, baby, sorry.” 

You smiled softly as you walked deeper into the room. He didn’t take his eyes off you as he placed the glass of whiskey on the table and held out his hand so you can walked over and let him pull you onto his lap. 

“Where were you?” you asked, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and snuggling into his chest.

"Detector at the eastern border has stopped working," he explained, sighing quietly with tiredness and wrapping arm around your waist, hugging you tighter. “I know it's late but I just wanted to get this over with,” he added before you could point it out. He hated when he gave you reasons to worry and you hated it too. 

Now, that you lived far away from everything and everyone, you worried about him more than ever. For the first time in years, you allowed yourself to look away from each other as you tended to your little farm. Sometimes it scared you that you didn't see him for more than ten minutes. It was hard to get used to this kind of life after having eyes in the back of your head every day.

“And you fix it?” you asked, raising an eyebrow. 

At first, silence answered you, and then a quiet snort. “No.” 

You laughed quietly and rested your forehead against his temple, allowing yourself a moment of closeness you had been missing all day. 

“We’ll take care of it tomorrow,” you suggested, and Joel knew very well that there was no point in arguing with you about it. "And now I will take care of you," you added, nuzzling his cheek. You felt his muscles relax beneath you before he smiled in amusement. 

"Yeah? You want to take care of me?" He glanced at you and grabbed your chin between his fingers to pull you in for a soft kiss. You purred contentedly and without hesitation, you pressed yourself harder to him, deepening the kiss. Your tongues lazily played with each other as you slowly adjusted your position until you were straddling him. 

“Mhm,” you murmured against his lips. “How does that sound?” 

Joel looked at your delicate features and innocent smile and his heart immediately skipped a beat. 

“Perfect, baby,” he whispered as his hands began to smooth over your bare thighs. 

The rough touch of his warm hands sent shivers through your body, encouraging you to grind your hips against his. His quiet sigh echoed against your lips before you leaned in for a kiss again. The taste of whiskey on his tongue brought you a familiar feeling of safety, and the grip of his hands on your ass ignited your core. 

Cock in his pants was getting harder with every passing minute as you pressed your warmth against his. In moments like these, he was reminded of how much he hated being away from you for so long. 

You moaned as he dug his fingers deeper into your flesh. The lazy kisses grew deeper with each passing second making the material of your panties wet. 

“I missed you, baby,” he whispered against your lips before letting his hands disappear under your tank top. 

You sighed as you felt his large hands on your breasts. He began to tease your nipples with his thumbs, drawing a soft moan from you. He loved the sounds you made just for him. 

His sweet little girl…

"She missed me too?" he asked, starting to plant kisses on your neck. His thick stubble teased your delicate skin, making you shiver as another wave of arousal soaked your underwear. 

“Always,” you gasped under his touch. 

You let him take off your top, which landed on the other end of the couch. His attention immediately focused on your tits, he began massaging one and with a quiet growl began kissing, sucking, and nibbling on the other. 

You could feel his movements becoming more and more needy, and even though you wanted to give in, you had other plans for him. 

“I was supposed to take care of you,” you reminded him, running your nails over his scalp. 

Joel pulled away from your nipple with a smack, looking at you with a drunken gaze. He was breathing heavily and it was possible that if he wasn't as tired as he was at that moment, he would have started arguing with you about it. But today was your lucky day because he gave in without resistance, leaning comfortably against the back of the couch. 

"Right," he nodded. "Go ahead." 

You laughed under your breath and leaned down, placing a sweet kiss on his lips before you started moving lower and lower, to his neck and the exposed part of his chest. Your soft lips made him unable to resist the bliss that began to take over his senses. He closed his eyes, relaxing under your touch as you started to unbutton his shirt, kissing every exposed part of his chest. 

The lower you were, the more you had to retreat until you finally ended up kneeling between his legs. He couldn't deny himself this sight, so he began to watch as your fingers easily managed to fasten his jeans. Without a word, he lifted his hips so you could slide the material down his thighs. His cock was already standing stiff, showing its shape under his boxers. 

You unconsciously licked your lips as saliva began to flow into your mouth. It had been a while since you had the chance to look at him from this perspective. Joel would rather make love to you than see you kneeling in front of him. Maybe he was really getting old and would rather see you cry with his cock inside you than you choke on it. 

“Not too deep,” he reminded as you began to slide his underwear off. 

You looked at him with a sweet smile and rolled your eyes at his protectiveness. “I told you, I don’t mind.” 

“I know, baby,” he sighed and clenched his jaw tighter as you cupped his base. “But not too deep,” he repeated gently, with concern. 

You nodded quietly before your tongue met his tip. A familiar taste took over your senses as you slowly began to wet his head. Joel moaned softly as he felt your tongue gently caress him, up and down and around, until you sucked on him, letting a line of saliva run down his length, stopping at your fingers. He hissed at the sudden surge of pleasure, watching your lips wrap around his thickness. You didn't even give him a moment to breathe before swallowing him halfway. 

"Oh fuck," he gasped and twitched as his balls tightened painfully. 

You began to work on his cock, taking one half into your mouth with wet sounds and pumping the other with your hand. A shuddering breath left his lungs as he realized why he didn't like it when you gave him a blowjob. 

One answer – he always came too quickly. 

Then he heard the first choking sound and his cock throbbed dangerously. "Easy, baby, easy," he tried to calm you down, slow you down. But despite his words, you did it again. 

You knew the effect you had on him, the way you choked on him, he was experiencing fucking nirvana. He didn't want to admit it, but you had already witnessed him come in mere minutes. And now you were going to do that again. 

He couldn't control his moans anymore as you swallowed him deeper and deeper over and over again. His hips were thrusting towards you as if he couldn't control his own body. His mind was saying something different than his balls, that were dripping with your saliva. He wanted more but at the same time he didn't.

You felt his cock harden, heralding the approaching fulfillment, so you only sped up your head movements. Loud gasps mixed with growls, and while he fought the pleasure, you sucked your cheeks in contentment, licking the sensitive flesh at the tip.

“Baby…” he gasped in warning. 

You moaned with your mouth full and his cock twitched deep in your throat. The next sound of you choking was like a red rag to a bull for him, he couldn’t help himself as he placed his hand on the back of your head. You didn’t protest as he began to hold you in place, your nose pressed against his mound, and began to thrust his hips upward. You relaxed, letting him go as deep as he could and the sounds leaving his throat were enough payment for the tears in your eyes.

“Yes, yes,” he hissed, “you’re such a good girl.” His cock slowly took your breath away and you instinctively tried to pull back but he wouldn’t let you. “I know, baby, I know.” And he kept pushing until his breathing couldn't keep up with his movements and his cock began to throb.

You moaned tearfully, to which he responded with a blissful groan before hot cum shot straight down your throat. You swallowed everything that leak out of him as he came down from his peak, fucking your mouth slower and slower. Finally, he sighed in relief and let you pull away for air.

You almost choked on your own tears as you straightened up and began to wipe the drool from your chin. Joel looked at you with a drunken look, bliss written all over his face while you looked like a disaster, crying with red eyes and swollen lips. A feeling of regret appeared in his chest as he realized the state he had brought you to. 

"I'm sorry, baby," he said worriedly, leaning down to you. His warm hands found their way to your cheeks, wiping away the traces of tears. He hated that he was losing control with you, but as much as he tried to fight it, he just couldn't. He hated the sight of you in such a state, but he loved the feeling of your lips around his cock. "I didn't mean to—"

"I liked it," you interrupted him with a gentle smile. Joel blinked a few times, not being able to tell if he heard you correctly.

“You… like it?” he asked in disbelief. You barely had time to nod before he pulled you up onto his lap and hugged you to his chest. You licked your swollen lips and rubbed your eyes to get rid of the last traces of the glass effect. His strong arms wrapped you in warmth as you pressed yourself deeper into him. He watched your innocent smile with a tender gaze and allowed himself to press his cheek into your palm as you began to stroke his stubble. 

"Like I said, I don't mind." You leaned in to steal a gentle kiss. Joel, eyes closed, smiled at the tender gesture and nuzzled your nose. 

"I love you, you know that?" he whispered, running his fingers over your skin. 

"You have no other choice," you smiled wider, to which he snorted with laughter and pulled you in for a kiss.

Tags some babes @bbyanarchist @xdaddysprincessxx @yorksgirl @joelssluttyknee @amyispxnk @21stcenturywitchcraft

[foundfamilynonsense]

Sometimes I just want to sit down and say, like… Gay men, lesbian women, and straight people. You could wake up tomorrow and discover you’re actually bi.

Tomorrow you could meet someone of the sex you do not think you are attracted to and go “oh fuck”. There is no rule— nothing—that says that could not happen to you at any moment.

“I’ve lived forty years without—” so?

“I can just tell I’m—” how?

Now, we can get into the conversation of how these labels aren’t actually law, and that you can be a lesbian even if there was that one guy and you can be a straight guy if there were those two guys in college and etc.

And that’s totally true and valid and we should normalize that. But that’s another post.

My point for this post is that, yes, you are one strange meeting away from being bisexual. It will probably never happen. But you can never say with 100% certainty that it won’t happen.

But that doesn’t mean every gay, lesbian, and straight person should start calling themselves bisexual just in case. That would be a completely absurd thing to expect.

Can you imagine if we go around to gay men and were like “but how do you know you’ll never be attracted to a woman?” Imagine if we did it to straight people? The idea you have to call yourself Bi just in case?

This is easy to understand. So why is it so hard for people to understand when it comes to asexual and aromantic people?

Like… I suppose I could wake up tomorrow and catch some feels for someone. I… doubt it. But it could happen.

But I’ve been alive 22 years and it hasn’t happened yet. So why should I expect it? Why should I spend time thinking about it? Why should I label myself based on that slim possibility?

The number of straight people who have said to me “well you never know” or “maybe you just haven’t met the right person” or whatever. Can you all IMAGINE what they would say to me if I threw it back?

“Oh, sally, you don’t like any women yet but you never know. Maybe you just haven’t met the right woman.” Their heads would explode I think.

I am an adult. I have been through college and it’s social life. My brain is (basically) done developing and I finished puberty quite a while ago. How late do you have to be before people concede that you’re not a “late bloomer” you’re just not gonna bloom at all?

Maybe tomorrow I will wake up and be attracted to someone. I still would consider myself on the aroace spectrum. But to be honest I think I know myself enough to trust it’s not going to happen. And I don’t think I should have to plan for it or expect it.

[marlenesluv]

۵pairing: fem!albonsibling!ballerina x platonic f1 grid. also, reader x lando norris.

۵type: social media au

۵authors note: sorry it’s been so long! if you want a tag for new updates for this series, leave a comment letting me know! i’ll tag you in upcoming posts :)

۵warnings: dark side of ballet (this includes: ed/not eating as much, self criticism, teacher, etc) please be aware of this while reading. i love you. also cussing.

۵summary: a month after the dinner, y/n is still working to perfect her performance for her role as the black/white swan. luckily, she had her “friend(?)” lando to help her and keep her company.

۵this is part 4! please read part 1, part 2, and part 3 before this one for it to make sense. (part 1 is mine, i just made it on my main blog)

masterlist here -> masterlist link

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: lilymhe, landonorris, and 854,282 others

tagged: lilymhe, landonorris, and alex_albon

y/n.albon: reminiscing bc i start training for ballet tomorrow, missing friends and shit👾💜

view comments…

lilymhe: noooo i miss you, cant wait to crash ur apartment every few days 💘

↳ y/n.albon: my door is always open for u

↳ landonorris: and me???😪

↳ y/n.albon: 🔑

↳ landonorris: 🙂↕️

↳ alex_albon: wait. LANDO HAS A KEY!?????

↳ alex_albon: why do i even comment. you NEVER ANSWER ME😭🤧

user2: alex is just so offended atp😭

f1wags: new wag manifestinggggg🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

fp4albons: my favssss

ln4updates: lando has a key to her apartment?🥲we know they’re dating like js announce it😁

user7: alr, my favorite people ever (real)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

You loved ballet more than anything, but the hours were ungodly. Waking up on a Monday morning at 5am to be at the studio by 7:30am was unforgivable.

But then, when you’re there till 11pm…it’s exhausting.

After those fifteen hours of practice, you needed about a week of sleep and four advil. Not to mention you were starving.

Your instructor said “lay off those bagels.” To which you nodded and then rolled your eyes once you were out of sight.

Your instructor was the best of the best, and you knew she meant well. She wanted the best for you, for you to be the best.

Sometimes, this was draining. In her eyes, the best was as thin as paper. Ballet was like this, and it was hard. But you had dealt with it for so long, that you started tuning them out years ago.

Fuck them. Its a sport. So, on your walk home, you grabbed a slice of pizza and a diet coke. You deserved it.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux, and 879,238 others

y/n.albon: 🌚⭐️🌝

view comments…

landonorris: never letting you drive my car again

↳ y/n.albon: okay (i hate driving so this is perfect)

↳ landonorris: (thank god because i hate being the passenger)

user3: name a more iconic couple? *crickets* yeah i thought so

f1editpg4: lando on the first slide is a mooddddd

workinglateee3: uhhhhh the second pic🤧🤧🙃

francisca.cgomes: if you’re not rooting for portugal…

↳ y/n.albon: uhhhhh, they’re my second fav team😁

↳ francisca.cgomes: fairrr🫶

user6: me waiting for them to date 🙂

user9: mom and dad fr

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

your texts with alex:

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

After deciding that leaving Alex on read would be best for now, you walked into your favorite little italian restaurant that you ordered some pasta from after practice got over.

Should you be eating breadsticks, gnocchi, and a tiramisu for dinner? Eh, probably not, but you were tired and in need of some comfort food.

The whole situation with Lando felt like nothing and everything all at once. You knew he was single, and he knew you were as well. He also knew how upset you were about Ben quitting, but he didn’t pity you which was nice.

Family that had found out had been texting and calling you for weeks. Telling you how sorry they are, but you didn’t care that much. Truth be told, it was just inconvenient and inconsiderate.

If Lando knew one thing, it would how he knew how you functioned. At this point in knowing each other, Lando knew your schedule more than anyone else. He paid more attention. He never missed a planned hangout, a rehearsal, or dinner.

Stopping yourself, you walked up to the counter and grabbed your food, saying bye to the workers and started walking back home. What you didn't know was that Lando had happened to drive by and saw you walking.

Lando debated picking you up. The last thing he wanted was for you to think he was stalking you. It really was pure coincidence that he saw you. After having a mental fight with himself, he turned his car around and slowed down by the sidewalk.

You, wearing leggings, a sweater, long socks and tennis shoes and your hair down. Eyes focused on your phone as you struggled to find a good song to play through your headphones. Your ballet bag hanging off your shoulder and takeout in the opposite hand.

Smiling, Lando rolled his window down. "Y/n!"

You furrowed your brows, looking up and seeing a familiar face.

"Lando? What are you- are you following me now?!" You asked, stopping to talk as he stopped his car.

"What? Wha- no! I was driving by and you were just there!" He defended himself, nervous about your reaction.

"Uh huh..."

"Do you want a ride home?" Lando asked, tilting his head a little.

"Are you going to kidnap me if I get in?"

"Y/n! No! Stop that, just-...do you want a ride, or no?" He asked, hoping for you to say yes.

"Um...." You looked at the ground, then the buildings, and finally met his eyes, "Okay, yeah, thanks."

You opened the back door and threw your bags in, placing the food on the ground. Then, you got in the front, taking your headphones off and buckling up.

"How was practice?" Lando asked, pulling onto the road again and heading to your apartment building.

"It was okay. Lots of criticizing." You sighed, toying with your sweater string.

"About?" Lando loved your love for ballet. But sometimes, he wished he could beat your instructor. Always bringing you down, for no reason. In his eyes, you were perfect. He was well aware that he liked you...more than friends.

“Form, diet, you know..all that shit.” You laughed, watching as Lando skillfully pulled into the parking garage of your apartment. “Thanks for driving me, Lando.” You smiled, getting out and grabbing your bags as Lando exited the car as well.

“Care if I come up?” He asked, stuffing his hands in his hoodie pocket as you nodded and started walking, Lando quick on your trail.

‘Maybe he does like me…’ you thought as you both walked into your apartment and you started to split up the food you had ordered.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

liked by: y/n.albon, carlossainz55, and 982,194 others

landonorris: nights like this❤️

view comments…

y/n.albon: ♾️

*liked by creator*

oscarpiastri: have something to tell us, mate?

↳ landonorris: nah

f1wags: we have been summoned, WHAT

user3: it’s y/n bro i’m telling you

alex_albon: um…ok…..

ln4editpagee: we all know y/n took that first pic

user8: that’s literally y/n, i know those headphones anywhereeee

williams4life: alex has to be freaking out omg

↳ formula1wags: lily has to deal with the freak out too😭💀

y/ns1fp4: MOTHERRRR MOTHER MOTHER

user1: obsessed with this post, it’s my roman empire fr

user3: do we stay calm or freak out guys??????

↳ vrooms19: BOTH

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

twitter:

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

(reposts, comments, and likes are appreciated!^-^)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

tag: @rhythmstars

if you would like a tag for future parts of this series, leave a comment here and i’ll add you :)

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

[mphoenix-7]

Bitter Allies [Soap x Reader]

Chapter 7: The Cabin: Day 3

Summary: What starts out as a peaceful morning quickly turns steamy after an argument.

Word Count: 9,565

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, swearing, angst, strong language, arguing, smut, p in v, rough sex, hate sex, unprotected sex, fingering

A/N: Yeah, you read the warnings right. It’s time. When I tell you this chapter took days to write 😭 different parts got rewritten like four times. The final product is nothing like the drafts. Even editing it there was stuff added, and I got to the point where I just needed to stop and post it. Please enjoy!

Masterlist | <- Previous | Next ->

Bitter Allies • Part 7

The storm settled down about thirty minutes after you and Soap ate. It still continued to rain, but the thunder was moving off into the distance, and the wind had stopped completely. You were still forced to stay inside, but at least the worst of the storm had passed. You could look for the damages done tomorrow.

Soap laid down after he finished eating and just rested. You didn't say anything more to each other about his episode, and you didn't expect him to open up. It was a little different for everyone, but sometimes talking about it made it worse. With nothing better to do, you also laid down. The sound of the rain falling softly outside was eventually enough to lull you into sleep. 

The next morning, you'd gotten up super earlier. Given the fact you probably went to sleep around 1900 (or 7 pm) that made sense. Soap was still asleep when you got up. He was sleeping on his back, an opened black journal balanced on his chest, and a pencil still in his hand. His arms were bare, meaning sometime last night he'd probably stripped down to his underwear again.

Leaving him be, you got up and decide to see what the damages were from last night's storm. You moved both rocks away from the doors then went out the back door, closer to the lake.

There were tiny sticks everywhere in the back. Once they dried out, they'd be great for the wood stove inside. A few larger branches were also scattered about. The one that caused the loud scrapping noise last night had just barely missed the outhouse, and its limbs were propped right up against the side of the cabin. If it'd fallen a few inches closer, it would have hit the roof. You hate to think about what would have happened if it had.

Hopefully this was the last of the rain for a while. You weren't sure if you could take another storm, and shockingly, not because of Soap. Honestly it hadn't been the absolute worst thing to be trapped inside with the Scot. It'd mostly just been boring. But then again Soap had been out of it most of the night because of the episode he had. You had feeling things would have ended in a shouting contest if he hadn't. Regardless, you didn't want that or for him to get triggered by another thunderstorm.

Luckily, the sun was out, birds were singing, and there wasn't a raincloud in sight. It was beautiful out, and you wanted to enjoy the morning. You hadn't had the chance to go on a walk or a run yet. It would be nice to start off your morning positive for once, unlike the last few days.

To be expected after a storm, it was fairly muddy, puddles of water everywhere. The lake had also risen quite a bit with the new water level came right up to the tree where Soap had been sitting yesterday. So a walk along the shore wasn't going to be possible, but you could handle a little mud in the woods. Heading back inside to the bedroom, you make the decision to go on a nice walk around the woods.

Soap is still asleep on his cot, his brows pinched together slightly, and his book still balanced on his chest. The pencil had slipped from his hand though and now just lay beside him. You move around the room as silently as you can, grabbing the things you need and trying not to wake him in the process. He'd make a sound every now and then, but he never woke up.

Once you were ready, you pause at the bedroom door and look over to his sleeping form. You were debating if you should wake him up to let him know you were going. He hadn't given you that courtesy before. Maybe it was time for a little payback. Time for him to wake up and not know where you are. Odds are though, you'd be back before he's even up. Or he simply wouldn't care.

With that in mind, you gently shut the bedroom door, and head off for your walk.

***

For the first time since arriving to the cabin with Soap, you finally feel some of the stress melting away as you walk through nature. It smells like dirt and rain, and it's absolutely perfect. Even the tension is your shoulders seems to be easing up a bit as well.

You're not sure how long you've been gone. There was no way to keep track of time. At some point though, you decide to turn around and start head back the way you came. You didn't want to go too far from the cabin in case you got lost.

As you're stepping over a fallen tree you used as a landmark to let you know you are heading in the right direction, you hear some rustling coming from some densely packed foliage behind you. You pause for a moment, watching the now still bush. Just as you're about to brush it off as nothing, you swear you hear a growl or a grunt. Adrenaline floods your system, triggering your fight or flight instincts. In this case, you go with the ladder reflex.

Jumping off the falling tree trunk, you start to walk with a quicker pace, trying to distance yourself from whatever you heard. The thought of it being a bear or a mountain lion crossing your mind, making a new fear run down your spine. Sure, you were highly trained in stuff like hand-to-hand, but your expertise was in protecting yourself against humans and maybe dogs, not wild animals. If you had a gun, then yes, you could absolutely take on a wild animal, but you didn't even so much as have a knife on your person to defend yourself with.

As you walk, you keep looking back over your shoulder, though you never see anything. While you are distracted and not looking where you're going, you suddenly step in something squishy. Stopping and looking down, you discover you've stepped in what is probably bear poop. A big fresh pile.

You gag a bit and remove your foot, trying to desperately kick and wipe it off on the foliage and nearby trees. The shit on your shoe distracts you momentarily from the thing you'd been trying to get away from. It's when you hear more of the rustling and sniffing sounds that your blood runs cold.

You look around again, still not seeing anything. The greenery around you is far too dense to get a good view. You know you have to get away, but not knowing what the threat was is really beginning to freak you out.

Forgetting about your soiled shoe, you start to walk again, trying to fight the urge to run. Rationally, you knew that could cause whatever it is that's following you to start chasing you. You just want to be back in the safety of the cabin with Soap. Why didn't you bring one of the flares or the knife? It was just a pocket knife, but it would have been better than nothing. 

Once some distance has been made, you pause and listen to see if you're safe. You can still hear the soft low rumbles and the shuffling of leaves like something is tracking you. Soon enough, you can't help it anymore; you start to run. You've got to be almost back by now. Surely you can just outrun whatever it is.

It's hard to listen for anything chasing you while you're running, but every time you look behind you, you don't see anything. The bushes are moving, but you can't tell if it's cause you just slammed through them or if you're really being chased. Not wanting to know the answer, you don't dare to stop until you see the cabin.

Relief floods your system when you see the clearing that houses the cabin. The moment you cross the thresh hold, you expect to feel safe. However you don't. You look back towards where you just came from and watch for any signs that the mystery animal is still following you. There isn't any movement or sounds, only the labored sounds of your breath from running. Slowly, you start to back up towards the cabin, senses heightened.

When your back hits something solid, hands grabbing you, you don't process immediately that it's just Soap. Your mind is still in survival mode. You scream and start trying to fight, getting a few angry and surprised sounds out of the Scot.

"Oof-! Steaming fucking Jesus, States!"

Soap had gotten up shortly after you left. When he couldn't find you, he'd assumed you were out in the woods somewhere and just went about his morning. He also surveyed the damages and decided to pick up sticks until you came back.

When he heard a ton of rustling on one side of the cabin, he went to check it out, and there you were. Your back was to him and you were taking slow steps towards him. You'd been about to run into him, and all he did was put his hands up to stop you, and then you started attacking him.

"What the fuck has gotten into you!?" He grabs your wrists, and you're quick to stop trying to hit him once you come to your senses. You look into his eyes, then hear the sound of the leafs rustle again. Your gaze snaps back to the tree line.

"Something was following me. I-I think it was a bear. I ran all the way back." You find yourself pressing back into Soap. His hands move from your gripping your wrists to holding your sides by your ribs once you turn.

You don't notice it, but Soap stares down at you for a second as you huddle against him. His eyes are softened and filled with concern before turning hard as he scans the woods, looking for this bear. He keeps holding you, keeping your smaller frame close to him. You can feel his hold on you tighten a bit, almost protectively.

As he does, without even fully realizing it yourself, you're starting to relax into his hold. Your body is naturally pulling towards him. He's warm and feels like safety. It's when the fear in the pit of your stomach is replaced with butterflies that you notice all these feelings. You try to tell yourself it's just remnants of adrenaline.

When there's a little more rustling, Soap starts to wordlessly move. His hands drift to your hips, and he moves around you. "Stay here." He mutters to you, walking to the tree line, picking up a big stick along the way for protection.

"Soap, wait! What are you doing?" You really don't want to see him get mauled by a wild animal, but there's not much you can do to stop him aside from pick up a stick for yourself and try to help.

Soap pauses to listen carefully for any movement or signs of danger before poking the stick into the green shrubs in an attempt to startle whatever is in there. You tense up as he does, hands gripping your stick tightly, prepared to fight whatever it is he startles.

A little squeak comes from the bush, and Soap watches as a two squirrels dart back into the woods and up a tree. It causes a laugh to bubble in his chest, one he tries to stop, but soon, his hands are on his knees, and he is laughing at you. All you can do is stand there and glare at him, dropping your stick. It makes a dull thump as it hits the ground.

"It was just a few wee fucking cons! You were running from a squirrel!" He laughs, making your cheeks turn a deep shade of red. You're were not too fond of being laughed at.

"I wasn't running from a squirrel!! I heard growling and-"

Soap is still laughing at you. Any "butterflies" you might have had when he held you were crushed immediately. You hadn't been running from a squirrel. Whatever it was had been big and had a deep growl.

"It was a bear! I swear. I even stepped in its shit!" You motion down to your boot, which just looked muddy, but you knew better. "There was at least one nearby!" This just makes Soap laugh even harder.

"You stepped in bear shite too? Oh, that's too fucking good. I bet that fucking sucks." You don't feel like he's sympathizing with you at all. "Have fun cleaning that mess up. Let me know if you need me to scare off anymore angry, growling squirrels, eh lass?"

Your face is getting red with anger and embarrassment more and more by the second. "Stop laughing at me, you fucking dick! I know what I heard!" You shout at him. It had to have been a bear.

Soap sighs as he finally calms down a little, wiping his eyes like he's wiping away tears. His amused express is at restarting to grow a little irritated with your continued claims about the bear. "Oh quit your fussing! There's no bear here, so just pull that stick from out of your ass and calm down."

"How about you stop acting like I'm stupid! Like I'm making it all up, or I'm some paranoid idiot! Even if it was nothing, it still felt like I was being chased."

Soap rolls his eyes, huffing a little. "States, seriously, you're fine so let it go. Stop acting like a wee little girl and start acting like you're a grown ass woman in the military. Go inside, calm down a bit, and come help me pick up sticks."

You roll your eyes at him. You know what you heard. You know how you felt. He could say you got scared by squirrels, but you knew better.

"Go fuck yourself, Soap. I'm not helping you with shit. I'm hungry. I'm going to make food." You grumble, leaving him and stomping towards the cabin.

"Make me some too, aye?!" He calls after you. He was insufferable. You still have four more days of this. The third wasn't even close to being over.

"No!" You shout back, getting a scoff from him.

"Brat." He mutters under his breath as he watches you disappear around the side of the cabin.

You retreat to the cabin, kicking your poop covered shoe off by the door outside before you went in. You'd had enough of being in the woods for today. Outside for that matter. You were certain there was a bear out there somewhere, and you weren't looking to run into it again. If possible, you were content to stay inside and read the rest of the day.

You search around a little bit for something good to eat, eventually settling on making some eggs. Putting a log and a few sticks in the stove, you get a fire going. You set the only frying pan you had on the stove top and wait for it to heat up. Once it does, you take out the eggs and flip the carton open.

Before you can grab one, a scratching sound near the front door makes you jump. You're tense for only a few seconds before huffing and relaxing. It had to just be Soap messing with you.

"Fuck off, MacTavish!" You shout, trying to go back to your cooking, but it keeps happening. Sighing in annoyance, you storm over to the front door. "Soap, I swear, I'm going to kill you if you keep it up!" You shout angrily, pushing the door open, but not seeing any sign on the Scot.

You venture outside a little more, but you don't see him anywhere. What if he wasn't the one messing with you? What if it was the animal from earlier? An uneasy feeling settles over you.

"Soap?" You call out softly, but you get no reply. You even try to peak around the cabin to see if he was hiding by the sides. When you don't spot him, you begin to feel more on edge. Groaning in frustration, telling yourself not to worry, you head back inside.

You pick up the egg carton and try to resume your cooking, though you're still tense and on edge. You'd just managed to pop the lid on the eggs open when Soap comes bolting out of the bedroom. He's making a big scene, growling and snarling, almost like he's pretending to be a bear.

The second he does, your heart is leaping into your throat and you scream. Adrenaline surges through you as you instinctively use the thing in your hand as a weapon. Soap is pretty much right behind you by then, and your muscles react faster than your mind can process. You smash the small paper carton into his chest with all your might, the impact causing most of eggs to burst out of their shells, yolks splattering across his shirt and dripping onto the floor.

Soap stumbles back a step, a mixture of surprise, shock, and anger prominent on his features as he looks down at his shirt. As he does, the box falls to the ground. Any eggs that hadn't broken certainly did as it hit the hard wooden floor.

Your body is buzzing, and your heart is hammering in your chest as you look down at the carton, equally shocked. All of your eggs are gone. Meanwhile, Soap is standing there mirroring your expression. His jaw is dropped, and his clean shirt is splattered with a generous dose of raw eggs. You both stand in stunned silence, until all hell breaks loose.

"Jesus, States!" Soap exclaims, wiping the yolky mess off his chest and onto the floor. "Why the fuck would you do that?! Why did you toss the whole damn carton at me!? That's literally the best fucking thing we have to eat!"

You're in shock. He's really going to get mad at you?

"You're joking right now?" You inquire, raising your eyebrows at him. "Tell me you are joking! You're gonna get mad at me when you're the one who fucking just scared the shit out of me!?"

"I didn't think you'd freak the fuck out and throw all our fucking eggs at me!"

"I didn't think you'd be acting like a child and trying to pull a pathetic prank on me! You scared me for no fucking reason!"

"Oh for the love of God, woman," he growls. "Get a sense of humor! It'd do you some good. Now we have no eggs and my shirt is fucking ruined! I only brought four pairs! I don't have a washing machine or an endless supply of shirts at my disposal!"

"You'd still have a clean shirt if you weren't such a jerk!" You shout back, hands clenching into fists at your sides.

"It was a bloody joke! What about you? Thought you were supposed to be a field specialist. Couldn't hear me coming? Didn't know something was up? Are you that fucking bad at your job?" Soap was pissed at this point to be taking jabs at your line of work.

You laugh, the sound lacking any amusement. All that was there was pure rage and spite. "The hell did you say? I'm not good at my job?" You ask lowly. "I reacted like anyone would when they're scared out of their mind! Forgive me for assuming I wouldn't have to be on guard around someone who is on the same team as me!"

"Ah, don't start with that shite again." He grumbles, rolling his eyes and beginning to walk away.

"Don't you dare fucking walk away from me, MacTavish! I'm not done with you!" You follow after him, moving to block his path. He's trying to head into the bedroom.

Soap glares down at you as you stand in his way. His chest was rising and falling in heavy breaths. "I'd fucking like to get a clean shirt," he growls, gesturing to his chest, still smeared with the remnants of the eggs. "So move."

He doesn't give you a chance to move on your own. He pushes you back into the bedroom and off to the right side of the room where your cot is, simmering in anger.

God, he was so livid. He just wanted to get his shirt and get out of this cabin before he did something he'd regret. Tension had been building rapidly between you since day one. Ghost's words had been haunting him for the last three days, and it was all he'd been able to think about.

You two just need to fuck and get it out of your system.

"Don't push me!" You growl, shoving Soap's hands off you even as he's retracing them.

"Then get the fuck away from me! Leave!" Soap shouts, ripping his shirt off over his head and throwing it to the ground.

"Really? You're telling me to leave when you're the one who started this?!"

"Yeah, I am! So fuck off!" He seethes, storming over to your shared dresser and pulling out a clean shirt for himself.

He doesn't wait to put the shirt on, instead just making a break for the door. You're far too upset to just let him leave though. Moving fast, you block the doorway again, a hand on each side of the frame, trapping Soap inside. Though he could easily plow right through you if he wanted, he just glares down at you.

"Get out of the way, States."

"You know, maybe if you were a better teammate we wouldn't be in this mess! It's your fault we're in this damn cabin anyway!" You point a finger at him, poking him in the chest and adding to his annoyance.

The second you poke him, he snaps. He was so fucking done with this. His patience was hanging by a thin thread, and you just cut it with a knife. In a flash, he grabs your wrist, twisting it so that your finger is pulled away from his chest. His grip was firm, but not painful as he forces you to walk backwards into the kitchen. He glares at you, his blue eyes icy and filled with anger.

"You know what, States?!" He barks, his voice deep and filled with venom. "You think you're so bloody perfect, don't you? Well, let me tell you something, you're not! You mess up all the fucking time! Just like how you messed up in Naryn!"

He moves closer, his face inches from yours. You could feel his hot breath against your skin, see the fury burning in his eyes. Your chest as heaving as you stare up at him.

"Why do hate me so damn much! Tell me, Soap. What did I ever do, that from day one, I became the one person you're ever an asshole to?!" You shout back at him, making him groan and roll his eyes.

"I'm not doing this right now." He growls, releasing your wrist and turning to retreat, but you want answers. You follow right after him and block his exit yet again, making his fists clench as his sides.

"No! You're going to answer me!"

"States."

"Why do you hate me?!"

"Move."

"Or what?" You challenge, not aware how close Soap is to snapping. Your eyes are locked on each other, each refusing to look away.

You're both breathing heavily, and the tension in the cabin is building to a very unstable level the longer you hold eye contact. The very thin string that's been keeping you apart is slowly breaking, snapping slowly until there's just the most fragile thread holding everything together.

Then Soap looks down at your lips, his eyes the knife that makes it all come shattering apart. Before he could think twice, before he can rationalize it, he grabs your face, leans down, and captures your lips with his in a rough, angry kiss. It was spontaneous, impulsive, and probably a terrible idea. But in that moment, he didn't give a damn.

You stand there in shock.

He's kissing you.... Soap MacTavish was kissing you....

It wasn't a gentle kiss. It was rough. All teeth and tongue and force.

It was confusing. It made your head spin, making you feel instantly dizzy. But you didn't want to pull away.

You hesitate only for a moment before grabbing his head in both of your hands and pulling his lips harder against yours. Your body presses right up against his as you meet each of his kisses with a fury of your own.

Soap is taken aback by your response. He fully expected you to pull back, slap him, yell at him. But instead, your hands are tangling in his short hair, pulling him in closer.

Well, fuck.

He deepens the kiss, his hands slipping down to circle your waist, pulling you flush against him, your arms circling his neck, keeping his lips on yours. You could feel the heat radiating off him, your chest pressed against his, your nails digging into his scalp. It was intoxicating, maddening, and thrilling.

Your mind was a whirlwind of confusion, anger, and desire. You bite down on his lip and barely register the small, primal sound of satisfaction that rumbles in Soap's throat as you do. His hands move from pressing you against him to gripping your hips. With a grunt, Soap is pushing you back against the closest wall he can find. Your lips pop apart for just a second before he's smashing his back against yours.

He pins you against the wall with his body while your hands eagerly run down his chest and torso. Every time he moves, his muscle flex under his skin. You can’t take your hands off him.

His hands can’t seem to help exploring either. They restlessly roam every inch of you he can touch. Eventually, his hands find the hem of your shirt, and he wastes no time in getting the chance to feel the soft skin of your torso.

The thin fabric of your shirt offers little resistance as he slips his hands underneath it. You feel his roughened fingertips trace up your sides, moving until he reaches your breasts. He cups both of your breasts through your bra, giving them a firm squeeze before gently kneading them. You gasp against his lips, a soft, needy whine leaving you.

Oh hell...

Soap is in deep now. He doesn't care about the consequences, about what this might mean for you both. At this moment, all he wants is you.

"States," he murmurs against your lips, his voice hoarse with desire. It sends a shiver down your spine, and you open your eyes as your lips part a little.

He's still so close to you, his breath coming out in hot huffs against your lips and mixing with your own. His eyes are locked onto yours, his gaze darkened and pupils blown. Like he’s a starved man staring down an animal he wants to devour. It’s almost too intense. Your eyes leave his, flicking down to his lips for a second. They’re red and glossy from your intense make out. You’re sure yours look the same to him.

You don’t get to admire his swollen lips for long. The moment you break eye contact, he strikes. His lips are back on yours, a deep groan leaving him when you instantly return his kiss.

His hands have left your breasts, quickly trailing down your body to grope your plump round ass. He gives both cheeks a firm squeeze, pulling you away from the wall just a bit. One hand moves up to the curve of your spine, the other staying on your butt cheek. He then grinds his hips against you, pulling you tight against him as he does.

You moan at the friction, able to feel him through his pants. He's getting hard right against your thigh as he shamelessly squishes you into his growing erection. His hips are gently humping into you, and you want to move too, but he’s holding you far too tightly.

You didn't think you'd ever be in this position. Kissing, let alone dry humping, on Soap MacTavish. Yet here you are, locking lips with him in some kind of sick, hate filled dance.

Not able to move much, you move a hand to the back of Soap’s neck and gently, but firmly, dragging your nails from the base of his skull to the side of his neck. It pulls a shuddery moan from him and makes his hips lose their rhythm.

Soap suddenly pulls away a little, slamming you back against the wall once more. You grunt as he does, pain radiating up your back. With how much he was slamming you around, you were gonna be so bruised tomorrow.

"You fucker." You growl, hands moving to grab his hips as he presses them back into you. He starts to grind once more, a deep chuckle emitting from him.

"You deserved that one." He says, voice almost shaky with lust.

"The hell did I do?" You ask breathily as he leans back in, kissing at the side of your throat. He trails the wet sloppy kisses right up to your ear, his breath hot and voice husky as he offers up an answer.

"You've been driving me fucking mad for six months." He growls lowly, his teeth nipping at your earlobe.

You moan softly, his words making the throbbing between your legs so much worse. You press them together, but it doesn’t little to stop the ache.

Soap starts to trail his kisses urgently back down your knee, teeth dragging and lips making delicate popping sounds as he sucks a few marks here and there. You moan quietly into his ear, placing a hand on the back of his head as your eyes flutter shut.

Suddenly, he bites down, rather hard, making you gasp and wince. It hurt like hell, but also ignited some hidden pleasure you hadn’t known existed.

“Ahhh, fuck!” You moan, legs buckling, nails digging into Soap’s shoulder to keep yourself from falling.

Soap grabs your hips before you can fall, slotting one of his own thighs between yours. He begins to gently rock you against him, soothing that ache with each rub against his flexed muscle. It pulls a satisfied moan from your lips as he grins at you.

"Oh, there you go, lass." He mumbles, leaning in to kiss at the spot he’d bitten. "That feel better? You like that?"

"Ass." You sigh, gripping his arms as you shamelessly start grind on his thigh to get some relief.

He chuckles at your remark, his teeth nipping at your jawline. "Such a brat. You drive me fucking mad, States, you know that?" He growls, his voice low and lustful.

"Yeah, you don't exactly make me sane either." You growl right back at him, making him laugh deeply.

He removes his thigh completely then, making you whimper at the loss. Your legs instantly buckle again, hands holding onto Soap to keep yourself upright. His hands move to your hips almost instantly, steading you and pressing you back against the wall.

"I can't wait to fuck that sense back into you." His lips collide with yours once more in a bruising kiss. It's dizzying the way he kisses you. And when he bites your lip, making you hiss, and he grins about it. Oh you hated him. Cocky bastard.

His hands move from pinning your hips to the wall, to tracing alone the hemline of your pants. As he is kissing you, he starts to unbutton your pants and yank them down. They only make it to your mid thigh before getting stuck. He growls against your lips, muttering something about you, "always being so fucking difficult."

Your mind is too fuzzy to realize what Soap is doing until he's doing it. Your body jerks, and you gasp when you hear the sound of your pants ripping. Your eyes fly open, and you give him a rough shove to view the damage he's done. The seam right between your legs has been torn almost completely in half.

Your jaw drops as you stare down at your pants in shock. You don’t even realize that his arms are snaking around behind you to finish the job. When he gives it another forcible rip, you snap.

"Oh my God! Soap! Are you serious right now?!" You shout at him, the brain fog of sex clearing up quickly. You can't believe he's just destroyed your pants.

"You ruin my shirt, I ruin your pants. Maybe you can use these as rags when you clean up those eggs."

"Like hell I'm not! You're out of your mind if you think I'm going to be the one cleaning that up. They wouldn't be there in the first place if you hadn't scared me!"

"Yeah, but you're still the one who threw them."

"I can't help it if my fucking reflexes are triggered! If I clean it up, I'm cleaning it with your clothes, you bast- ahh~" You try to threaten him, but your words are cut short when his fingers find your clit. His thumb has slipped under your panties and is rubbing quick little circled right onto the sensitive thing.

Soap laughs as your words trail off, slowly backing you against the wall as you turn to putty under his touch.

"Oh, steaming Jesus... you're already fucking soaked for me." He growls out, eyes training on where his thumb is moving in your underwear before turning his attention back to you. "You that desperate to get your hands on my clothes, sweetheart?"

You huff at his accusation. "That's not what I said, and you know it." You say through clenched teeth, mind melting. "Your clothes smell like shit anyway. Little egg wouldn't hurt."

His hand shifts slightly then, and his middle finger prodding around just slightly before finding your slick entrance. It takes nothing for his finger to push into your velvety walls. He doesn't even give you a second to adjust to the feeling of his finger inside you. He's thrusting it in and out of you, using his palm to keep a steady pressure on your clit. 

"N... nah..." you try to talk but couldn't get the words out. The pleasure is so sudden, and when Soap hits that one spot, you don't even want to try to argue with him anymore.

"This all it take to get you to shut up?" Soap growls, his free hand gripping your hips tightly to keep you from moving. "Huh, States? Just needed someone to finger you real good? To fuck some manners into you?"

"Fuck. You..."

Your nails are digging into his forearms as his hand picks up speed, palm now slapping against your clit with each thrust of his fingers. You can feel the pleasure inside you, building and building. Like a faucet dripping into a bucket where the water is beading up at the rim, so close to breaking and pouring over the edge.

And you might have let yourself come if it weren't Soap who was the one trying to make you go over the edge. You don't want to give him the satisfaction of coming so soon, so easily on his just his fingers. Squeezing your eyes shut, you let out a long moan, trying desperately to hold on.

"Fuck, States," Soap growls, able to see just how close you are to giving in. He slows down enough to allow his thumb to find your clit once more, rubbing it in slow, hard circles to change up the pace. He wants to hear you moan, to see you lose control.

"Still think you won't clean it up?" He asked, smirking as your glare turns into your rolling your eyes back as he presses his finger right into the place he knew had been making you squeeze down on his finger. Your hips instantly buck against his hand when he does, telling him he had the right spot.

Shifting slightly so his hip is pinning your leg, he brings his now free hand to your throat, which makes you tense a bit. Your breath hitches, expecting him to squeeze and close your airway, but he's holding it gently, not squeezing. Leaning in, he starts to kiss at your lips again, slower this time, but still just as rough and mean.

His finger has stilled now, buried as deep as he can go. He starts to slowly stroke at the spongy tissue, curling his finger against the same spot over and over. He swallows every moan that leaves your lips, pressing himself harder against you when you fight for control by bucking your hips.

"If you promise to be a good girl," he speaks against your lips between harsh slow kisses. "And clean up the mess you made, then I'll let you come." He gives you a few more kisses, not letting you answer immediately. "You gonna be a good girl for me, States? You gonna shut the fuck up, listen, and do what I tell you to?"

He's looking right into your eyes, his hand still on your neck to keep your gaze on him. You were so tired of Soap having all the control. Tired of not being able to get a word in because he had his hands all over you. You growl at him, which just makes him grin.

In an attempt to level the playing field, you reach down to the now very prominent tent in his pants and grip him hard. Needless to say, you're very happy you'd been making eye contact with him when you do. It wipes the grin right off his face.

"Ahh, fuck!" Soap lips part as he lets out a strangled groan, eyes rolling back ever so slightly. His hips buck hard against your hand as you grip him, and he curses.

He feels a lot bigger than what you'd seen when you accidentally walked in on him naked. Then again, he also hadn't been fully erect then. His cock felt hot, heavy, and throbbing now.

His hand leaves your neck to grab at your wrist, gripping it, but not moving it, as you start to rub your palm against his bulge. He watches the action for a little bit, panting heavily, before turning his focus back on you. His hand starts to move again, thrusting into you in time with your rubbing.

Not one to let Soap of all people win, you start to unbutton his pants and reach down into his underwear to pull his rock hard cock free. Soap hisses as you do, and you can tell why the second he springs free. The tip of his cock is an angry red color. It shimmers slightly from the puddle of precum it's been sitting in while in his underwear, and another bead of it was already forming on the slit, getting ready to form into a little droplet and drip down.

Wasting no time, you get to work, stoking up and down his length, working the precum down his entire shaft. Once he's more slick, you start pumping him furiously, stopping every now and then to let your thumb focus on rubbing the sensitive skin under his tip.

And Soap is fucking loving it. He groans heavily, leaning forward and resting his forehead against your shoulder. "Oh fucking hell, lass. That's it..." He breathes, his hand now slamming back into your pussy in quick thrusts.

"I'm not cleaning up shit." You seethe, voice just above a whisper. Your disobedience earns yourself a stinging bit to the junction where your neck meets your shoulder. Soap's teeth dig into the soft flesh, and you moan out, a mix of pleasure and pain, right into Soap's ear.

The moans sets something off in Soap. He has to have you. Right here, right now. Nothing else mattered. He needed to feel you clamping down on him. He wanted to rid himself of all the tension from the past three days, clear his mind from the anger, burn it off by fucking you. He wants to make you feel good, feel pain, make you scream his name. And he will.

"You don't want to play nice?" He asks, pulling his hand free from your underwear and yanking your hand away from his cock. "Don't want to take responsibility still? Well that's fucking fine, sweetheart. Gonna fuck you so stupid you won't be able to form a single thought let along clean."

You have a retort, but you yelp before you can get it out. You're not sure how he does it, but in a quick movement, Soap has grabbed your legs, wrapped them around his hips, and has you up off the floor. His cock is now resting right in the crease of your ass, your back is still pinned against the wall, and your arms quickly circle his neck for support. The last thing he does is adjust his grip on you, both hands moving to support your ass.

"Doubtful." You egg him on, making him pause to look at you. "You couldn't even make me come on your fingers. What makes you think your cock will be any better?"

Soap glares at you, a snarl forming on his face. "I could've made you come on my fingers, but I'd rather feel you come around my cock."

You rolls your eyes at him. "Bet you'll come before I do."

The glare on his face morphed into a grin that spread slowly onto his face. His member twitches against your ass, and you almost wish you hadn't said what you just said. It was a challenge now, and Soap loved proving you wrong.

"Really?" He snarled, a dangerous glint in his eyes. He shifts you around in his arms, cock dragging along your ass as he pulls his hips back. His tip leaves a cool wet trail. "Let's see if you still think that when you're coming around my cock." You feel the push of his velvety, hot tip as it drags through your folds, lining himself up. "You better brace yourself." He warns, his tone dark and dangerous.

"You better not-”

He pushes into you then. A single, quick thrust of his hips, and his thick length is splitting you in half, filling you completely. You throw your head back against the wall, your breath getting caught in your lungs. Even as slick as you are, it's by no means painless. The sudden intrusion makes your entire body tense as it tries to accommodate him.

"Breathe, States." He instructs, thumbs rubbing circles onto your thighs. At least has the decency to pause for a moment and slowly work his cock the rest of the way into you instead of just ramming you again. By simply lifting your legs a little further up on his hips, you finish sliding down onto him.

His hips are flush with yours, your clit just kissing his hair covered pelvis. You sigh and gasp when your clit meets up with him, the bud still very sensitive. Soap takes a moment to rock you against him, giving your clit a little more stimulation.

"There bonnie. That's better isn't it?" He moans, the gentle rocking feeling good for him too. "Ohh fuck.." He sighs, pressing his forehead to the side of your neck. "You’re so tight."

"That fucking hurt, you fucking ass." You curse him when your breathing finally evens out a bit. That's Soap cue you're ready for more.

"Oh, you're fine. It'll feel good." He readjusts his grip, moving his hands to your thighs, preparing for the harsh fuck he's about to give you.

He wastes no time, dragging his hips back, only leaving his tip inside you, before snapping up into you, starting a brutal pace. You groan loudly, throwing your head back as he slams into you. Each thrust creates a smacking sound as his hips collide with yours. You grip his shoulders tightly, nails digging into his shoulders and clenching your teeth as you wait for the drag of his cock to feel good.

Soap is already enjoying himself, moaning and panting against your neck. "I'm going to ruin you, States.." He breathes against your skin, his voice a low growl. "Feels so fucking good..."

Then it's like a switch has been flipped. The drag of his cock goes from a dull ache to feeling incredible. He's hitting something in you that's taking your breath away in the best possible way. Once the pleasure starts, there is no more holding back.

A moan tore through your vocal cords, head falling back against the wood behind you. Your walls burn as they stretch and flutter, seeming to form perfectly around his cock. The second Soap has you moaning, he goes harder. His hips piston up into you, making your back slam against the wall. It's probably going to make you so sore later, but fuck you don’t care right now.

Soap is starting to sweat already from his efforts. It's also hot in the cabin. Normally he props the doors open during the day for air flow, but he's not about to stop to do that now. He doesn't want to stop. He doesn't want to look away from you. His eyes stay locked on your face the whole time. Your eyes are shut, your mouth hanging out as moan after moan pour from your lips.

He was out of his mind. Fuck Ghost for always being right. Fuck him for putting this idea in his head.

"Ahhh.. Soap!" You moaning his name is almost his undoing. His hips stutter, and he has to focus on not finishing right then and there. His needs to get you off. Now.

Moving his fingers back your clit, he starts to frantically rub your little nub, making you cry out. Fire is coursing through you, everything is wound too tight.

"Come on, States,” he pants, “That's it. I know you're close, lass. I can feel you fucking trying to milk me. Just let go for me. I know you want to." He coaxes, his voice a low growl.

"Fuck!" You curse, his dirty talk really starting to drive you towards the edge. Your legs are shaking as they lock around him, your clit is burning as he continues to rub it. Harsh slaps filled the cabin as Soap's hips continue to met yours, squishing sounds echoing as his cock penetrates you over and over and over again.

"Come for me lass." Soap commands, his voice firm and leaving no room for argument. “Come for me right now.”

"I... fucking.. hate you. So damn much." You growl, tears gathering in your eyes from the intense orgasm about your hit. And then you come, relief flooding your veins. All the tension eases up, all your stress is gone. Melting away as each pump of Soap's cock drags out the waves of pleasure.

"Yeah, scream it louder!” Soap pants, pushing harder, slamming you down on him. “There you fucking go. That's it! That's fucking.. Fuck, States!"

Soap feels your walls act like a vice around his member. One squeeze from you is all it takes to drag him towards his own finish. He needed to feel his own release, to feel himself come undone inside you.

As you start to come off your high, Soap is desperately chasing his own, ignoring how your body is starting to relax. He thrusts harder, faster, fingers digging into your flesh as he holds you up.

All you can do is grab his shoulders and hold on for dear life as he buries his face into your shoulder, his stubble ticking you. Your walls are still fluttering in aftershocks, moans and heavy breaths still pouring your lips as Soap fucks you.

Soap is close, you can tell. His breath hitches, his body tensing as he nears his own climax. His thrusts became more erratic, more desperate. He could feel it building, the pleasure coiling in his stomach, ready to explode. With one last hard thrust, he comes, shooting his load deep inside you.

He groans heavily into your ear, his cock twitching as the hot ropes of his come paint your insides. He’s finished after three more thrusts, his body shuddering as he pushes into overstimulation. He keeps his forehead against your shoulder, panting heavily while he recovers. He can still feel your walls fluttering around him, could still feel the aftershocks of your orgasm.

You cling to him, his hold on you just as tight as the waves of pleasure start to fade for you both. Now that your mind is no longer foggy with lust, something heavy settles in your gut.

What the hell you've just done…

"Fuck," Soap curses, his voice raspy and hoarse.

You feel him shift his hips, allowing his softening member to slip out of you, making you wince. He all but drops your legs, letting them fall from around his waist. You wobble as you try to find your footing, and he pushes you to lean against the wall before taking a step back himself.

You cling to the wall as your shared release begins to drip out of you, running down your thighs and splattering onto the floor. You're panting, as is Soap, as you both try to rationalize what's just happened. Dread and regret settle in the pit of your stomach.

Soap tucks himself back into his pants and runs a hand over his face, looking anywhere but at you. You feel so fragile in this moment as you watch him, waiting for his next move.

"Soap?" You whisper, desperate for him to say something. To talk about what just happened, to tell you what this means. But as Soap looks at you, his eyes harden.

"Go clean yourself up. And all that too while you're at it." He points to the eggs and to the floor under you, his voice cold and distance. He turns to leave, shoving the cabin door open and going God knows where.

Your voice catches in your throat, hurt by his words. You want to stop him, run after him, but you can't. You're in shock, your legs are weak, and you're starting to realize just how much you fucked up.

One second you're in an intense argument with Soap, the next you're fucking each other raw. And now you’re all alone, wondering what hell you just did.

***

Soap needed air. Now. He just made the biggest mistake of his life, and you're looking at him with the most scared and confused eyes. Wondering so many things, things he doesn't have answers for.

"Go clean yourself up. And all that too while you're at it." He tells you. He knows there's no reason to treat you this way. Especially since he's the one who initiated sex with you, but he's so mad at himself right now. Mad for letting himself give in. And even worse, now you look hurt.

He needs air. 

Soap rushes outside, shoving the door firmly like it purposely got in his way. He stands on the porch, running his hands over his face. Trying to calm down. He just needs to breathe for a minute.

Ghost was right about one thing. The orgasm you just pulled from him did release all his tension. Like it was as simple as cutting a single thread. The thing he neglected to tell him was that after all that tension and stress was released, a different kind of tense would creep in.

Actually Soap supposed he was 100% right. Ghost never did say a thing about what it would be like after.

Fuck Ghost…

Soap wants to run. To leave and never come back. But as much as he can't stand you, Soap can't bring himself to leave. Not after your first night together, not after seeing how scared you got. No, as much as he wants to, you are still his squadmate. No man left behind. He can't leave anyone else behind...

However, he is equally aware that he needs time to himself to process everything. Work through some stuff in his head before you talks to you. He should at least help you clean up though. What kind of a guy would he be if he just fucked a girl and left her to clean up the mess. He was already planning on leaving for a few hours to clear his head, he might as well make sure you're somewhat ok before he goes. So you won’t be so stressed.

Sighing, hoping this will just blow over, that somehow you'll never to talk about it, he turns to go back into the cabin.

***

After about a minute of clinging onto the wall, you find enough strength to move. The first thing you do is wiggle out of your destroyed pants and use them to wipe between your legs. Your underwear was still on, but you want to change into a fresh pair. A lot of your arousal had stained them and some of Soap's come had gotten on them when he pulled out.

Once you're clothed again, you make your way back into the kitchen and look down at the white and clear stains on the floor. You want to clean up that stain before anything else. Wipe away the evidence of your coupling. However, you know it's not going to do much. The soreness between your legs is a constant reminder of what happened.

You kneel down, and right as you're about to grab your pants and use them to mop up the mixture of your and Soap's release, the door opens again. You're frozen as Soap walks through, his eyes on you at first. An awkward tension fills the space, and you look away from him, picking at one of the loose strings on your destroyed pants.

Soap finally moves, stepping past you to get to the bedroom and coming out a second later with his egg covered shirt. He kneels down in front of you and uses the sleeve of his shirt to start wiping up the cum stain. Once it's mostly gone, aside from the dampness causing the wood to be two different shades, he moves on to pick the eggs box up and takes it outside.

You get up and start to clean up the eggs while he's gone, knowing you're going to have to talk about what happened sooner or later. You couldn't just fuck each other and act like nothing happened. Especially with the history you and Soap had.

When Soap comes back, you find yourself tensing up once more, the awkward air returning. He pauses in the doorway, but you can't bring yourself to look up him. Eventually, he joins you on the floor, helping you mop up the eggs.

Once the area is clean, or mostly clean (the eggs left a residue), you finally look up at Soap. You open your mouth, wanting to talk to him about everything, but he speaks first.

"I'm gonna head out for a bit. Few hours." He says, moving to stand up.

You want to run after him, tell him to stay so you can talk things out, but a part of you is too ashamed to go after him. You felt like you'd already lost your dignity and running after him would just make you feel even more pathetic.

“Ok…”

You let him leave, the creak of the front door sealing the decision. The moment the door closes, a wave of anguish crashes over you. Now that he's gone, you can finally let the tears fall. The confusion, the anger at yourself, the regret, the shame—all of it eats at you until you're exhausted. You bury your face in your hands, shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

Soap is gone for hours again. It's getting dark, but you can't bring yourself to care as much as you did the first time. Having some time away from him to cry and work out the emotions was actually kind of nice. But the loneliness creeps in, wrapping around you like a cold, suffocating blanket. You curl up on your cot, hugging your knees to your chest, trying to find some semblance of comfort.

By the time Soap does come back, you're already in your cot, eyes shut but not sleeping. You hear the front door open and close, hear his footsteps come to the bedroom door and wait outside, hear the door slowly push open, and you can image him peeking inside.

"States?" He asks in a really soft voice. You don't answer him.

He comes into the room, and you feel like he's looking at your sleeping form, but you don't dare open your eyes to check. You hear him sigh, and then he starts to quietly move about the room, getting himself ready for bed.

When he finally crawls into his cot, the silence settles heavily over the room. And once it's silent again, you have to bite your lip to keep from crying.

[lauraneedstochill]

“All yours” (modern!Aemond Targaryen, college au, part 1)

🔥 part 2: First time for everything

author’s note: the idea came out of NOWHERE. I reread my The Greens (modern!au) — and then this thing happened. to keep up with the tradition I’m posting it as it is (I may regret it when I wake up lmao), hopefully, some of you can enjoy this silliness! ✨ • Aemond doesn’t lose an eye but he still has a big scar (let’s pretend Luke missed by a couple of inches) • I originally said that he’d be into sports however I’m yet to pick a sport for him so the description is very vague (I’m open to suggestions!)

words: ~3000 (I TRIED to cut it short... but alas)

warnings: none, I think? they just swoon over each other (and a cheeky blond makes an appearance again ;)

⋙ It’s impossible not to know who Aemond Targaryen is when pretty much every girl on campus has a crush on him. The tall athletic guy with chiseled cheekbones and bright eyes who wins one tournament after another, manages to stay at the top of his classes but barely talks to anyone and has a handful of friends. Even the scar on the left side of his face — a faded red stripe from his temple and down to the cheek — only adds to his appeal although you suspect it’s mostly due to people not knowing how he got said scar. Come to think of it, there isn’t much to know about him at all: he’s not on social media, rarely goes to parties, stays out of trouble and doesn’t even like his pictures being taken. There is a certain charm to that mystery yet you also can’t help but respect his intelligence and perseverance. (And you may find him attractive, but that’s a given.)

⋙ You share a few classes with him, and he usually sits nearby although you think it’s purely a coincidence. He once gave you his pen when you forgot yours, and he also sometimes stands behind you in line for coffee in the nearby cafeteria but you never really interact. You catch him looking at you a couple of times and you don’t think much of it. You might’ve thrown a glance or two at him, too, since there’s no crime in that.

⋙ You get paired up for a project by mere chance: your best friend fell sick and his mate missed the class for whatever reason so you and Aemond are the only ones without a partner, and Mr. Harrold tells you to work together. Aemond approaches you when the class is over.

“Hi” — “Hi” you say in unison. There’s a glint of a smile on his lips, his eyes studying your face.

“I’ve got two training sessions today, can we maybe start tomorrow?” he suggests.

“Sure, tomorrow sounds fine,” you nod. “Meet me in the library at 3?”

You quickly discuss the books you’ll need, and he casually asks for your number so you could text him the details. While you’re typing it, you miss the grin that appears on his face. Truth be told, you’re too busy thinking of how good his arms look with his sleeves rolled up.

⋙ The next day, he’s only five minutes late. You don’t even notice, wrapped up in reading, until he rushes in, a tad disheveled and very apologetic. You are about to tell him it’s no big deal when you notice blood on his hand — or more so on his knuckles. He looks like he wants to avoid the subject but you are truly shocked at the sight.

“Should I worry about the other guy?” you muster a smile, looking him over with concern.

“He deserved it,” Aemond mumbles as he sits next to you, averting his gaze.

He goes to dig some books out of his bag when you take his hand — you do so without thinking, it almost comes out as a reflex. While you examine his bruised skin, Aemond pretty much forgets how to breathe.

“It’s not that bad but will swell up in the morning, so you need to apply some ice,” you tell him, fingers gently brushing over his. “Here, this is the next best thing I can think of,” you grab your cup of iced coffee and put it to his knuckles. When you glance up at Aemond, you see him looking at you with a stunned face expression, and you realize that you might’ve overstepped a little.

“I’m sorry, you probably already know what to do without my advice,” you move to pull back the cup, but he suddenly covers your hand with his other palm.

“Don’t,” he breathes out. “This feels nice.”

Within a few seconds, his cheeks turn red.

“The ice, I mean, you were right about applying the ice,” he corrects himself, and you can’t help but smile wider. The most popular guy on campus is blushing because you held his hand, and there’s something very endearing about this moment. Or maybe it’s just him.

You push that thought away and divert the conversation to your assigned project. He keeps his hand intertwined with yours for the rest of the evening, both of you acting like it’s no big deal.

⋙ The next time you see him, he brings you coffee, and somehow he guesses your order perfectly. You meet up a few times a week, and he makes sure to come in time. Always prepared and polite, he buys you coffee regularly and insists on carrying all your books. You now sit together in classes, he shares his secret Spotify account with you and you learn that you share a passion for reading. Aemond also gives you his hoodie when he notices that you’re cold on your way out of the library one evening. He pulls the hoodie up over his head and his T-shirt comes up, too, exposing his lower abdomen and the tight lines of his abs. You take a deep, long breath, pretending that you didn’t see a thing.

And sometimes his hands brush yours and his gaze lingers on your face. But it’s another thing you try not to think of.

⋙ He mentions in passing that his training will get more intense as the competition season begins. At this point, you’ve been meeting for a couple of weeks pretty regularly, and you feel a slight twinge in your heart at the realization that you’ll see him less often. What you don’t expect is for him to stand you up. At any other time, you might’ve cut him some slack, but it just so happened that you are in a really bad mood since the moment you woke up, and him not answering your texts only rile you up.

You are so annoyed, you come into the locker room with little to no hesitation. Most of the guys already left but you still hear a couple of them whistling at you, and you flip them off. Aemond just got out of the shower and when you see him, he already has his jeans on and stands next to his locker searching for a clean shirt.

“Dude, your girl looks pissed,” one of his mates comments, and Aemond gives him a perplexed look. And then he turns to see you, your eyes burning holes in him, and his face pales.

“Oh, fuck,” he mutters. “We were supposed to meet, weren’t we?”

“Yep,” you drawl with a frown, and his face falls even more.

He doesn’t have time to explain as you hear another whistle.

“Nice ass,” it’s Jeff, one of the frat boys who’s famous for not keeping his hands to himself. You are about to shut him off but when Jeff looks up at you, his smirk disappears.

“Woah, I didn’t know it was you!” he raises his hands in defense. “My apologies to your ass,” he glances behind your back, terrified. “...To you, I mean my apologies to you!” he backs off. “Hey, it was meant as a compliment, tell your boyfriend I’m not his punching bag!”

“You need to google what a compliment is, you idiot,” you scoff at him, and Jeff all but runs off.

The room is awkwardly quiet, and Aemond’s friends quickly get out, leaving you two alone. He barely has time to open his mouth before you press your hand to his chest, making him stumble back purely out of surprise.

“Care to explain what the hell was that?” you hiss at him, your gaze burning. “My boyfriend?!”

“I didn’t say that, he made an assumption,” Aemond clarifies.

“Jeff was the one you got into a fight with?” you suddenly figure out. “But why?”

“He was talking shit about you,” he says, clearly displeased.

“And you decided it was worth a fight? I could not care less if he — ”

“I do,” Aemond cuts you off. “And I think it was worth it,” he punctuates with so much certainty, it takes you aback.

In the next second, you realize that your hand is still on his bare chest — it’s warm and toned, his muscles tense under your touch — and you are standing very close to each other. It’s very, very hard not to think of.

“Um, thank you, I guess,” you step back with your gaze still on him. “I-I shouldn’t have barged in here, it wasn’t very —”

One of your legs bumps into a bench, your eyes widen — and you are about to trip over when Aemond catches you. With a blink of an eye, his hands are on your waist as he brings you closer again, and this time the distance between you two is even shorter. You involuntarily look at his lips and when you glance back up, you catch him looking at yours.

If he kisses you right now, you won’t mind. In fact, you will probably enjoy it. Probably a lot.

Aemond clears his throat and pulls back.

“I’m sorry that I stood you up, the coach didn’t let us rest for a minute,” he explains with a repentant tone. “I wanted to send you a text, I really did. And then it just went out of my head.”

“It’s fine, I get it,” you give him a wan smile. “You warned me that you would be busy.”

“Still, it was rude on my part,” he insists. “You have any plans for the evening? We can still go to the library, I’m all yours for today.”

The way he phrases it makes your heart skip a bit. You bite the inside of your cheek to concentrate.

“They closed earlier,” you sigh. “Something about updating the catalog.”

Aemond only thinks for a second.

“I, um... Live close by. Maybe you can come over? No one will bother us there,” his smile looks sheepish and unsure but there’s a hint of eagerness in his voice. And he is still very much half-naked.

“I happen to be completely free,” you say as your concentration goes out of the window.

⋙ Aemond apologizes again, profusely. He gives apologies in the locker room, on your way out, in the cab — and when you get out of the car and he opens his mouth again — you turn and firmly place your hand over it.

“I think I got it the first time,” you tell him, and he looks amused with your act.

You feel him smiling, his lips tickling your palm, and you move your fingers away as your cheeks heat up.

“Quite fierce, aren’t you,” he remarks.

You don’t notice a sidewalk curb but Aemond does — his hand finds yours when you are a moment away from stumbling again, and he tugs you closer. He doesn’t comment on it, asking you about your day instead. There are a few other parts of your body where you want him to put his hands on, you think.

⋙ His apartment is unexpectedly huge — four bedrooms and a living room, high ceilings and large windows, and you can’t hide your bewilderment. He half-heartedly explains that his dad left it to them after the divorce.

“Oh, so it’s not just yours,” you conclude, relieved. “Makes it look like less of a palace.”

“I have my own, actually,” he almost looks ashamed, and you find his modesty ever so adorable. “I’ve repainted the walls, and the place needs some air. So I’m crushing here at the moment.”

He tells you that his older brother Aegon mostly hangs out in his gallery, Helaena took a week off to visit her friends, and you already know that their youngest — Daeron — studies abroad.

“Mum recently moved in with her boyfriend,” Aemond nonchalantly adds while showing you to his room.

You realize that it’s just the two of you. The thought of it warms up the lower part of your body, anticipation tingling in your abdomen, but you do your best to keep it together.

Luckily, you get easily distracted by the beautiful interior, his sister’s plants and paintings, and rows of photos on the walls, and you try not to gawk at the surroundings. Aemond tries not to gawk at you. You both fail.

“Feel yourself at home, I’ll go look for my charger,” his hand grazes your back after he opens the door. Aemond leaves you standing but the feeling of his touch remains. You have to pinch yourself to get back to reality.

⋙ You see his bookshelf that stretches from one end of the room to the other, and excitement bubbles in your chest as you rush to take a closer look. There’s a plethora of books of all colors and genres, paperback and hardcover, and you energetically look through the rows filled with them. You reach for one of the books on the upper berth, standing on your tiptoes but it causes you to lose balance. The only reason you don’t fall flat on your back is because Aemond’s hand swiftly lands on your waist, steading you. He turns you around to him, and your faces are suddenly only inches apart.

“Are you always this clumsy?” he chuckles lightly, his breath fanning over your skin.

Only when you are around, apparently.

Aemond’s lips part, his brows raising, and he stares at you, surprised. And then you realize that you said it out loud. Before you get a chance to correct yourself, he lets out a laugh, and you feel your face flushing. You close your eyes in embarrassment, trying to steady your breath, and his laughter dies down. He firmly locks his hands around you.

“What’s on your mind?” Aemond murmurs after a minute of silence.

You, you, you. Fearing that there’s still a chance that you are misreading the situation, you vaguely respond:

“A lot of things,” but your voice comes out strained and quiet.

When you don’t hear him replying, you open your eyes — your gaze immediately meeting his. The warmth from his hands slips into your body.

“You know what I’m thinking about?” Aemond asks in a low tone, his eyes a shade darker in this lightning. You shake your head because talking seems like an actual challenge right now.

“Kissing you,” he confesses, maintaining eye contact.

You inhale sharply, a wave of relief washing over you. And then something else sparkles inside, tightening your chest, and the well-known burning sensation blossoms right under your navel.

“You should,” you tell Aemond, and it’s the only confirmation he needs.

He crashes his lips into yours with fervor, pulling your chest flush against his and knocking the breath from your lungs. His hand cups your face, guiding you even closer, his mouth greedy and intent with its every movement, and your head goes dizzy with longing. The kiss is both tender and heated, and you lose yourself in the moment, only thinking of how soft and supple his lips are, and how ineffably good they feel.

“I’ve wanted to do this for a while,” Aemond mumbles against your mouth.

“Only been a month,” you manage to say while his lips move from your jaw to your neck.

“Long before that,” his words burn the spot just below your ear, making you shiver. “Ever since you argued with Mr. Harrold that Zelda Fitzgerald wrote ‘The Great Gatsby’ and her husband was a total — hmm, how did you call him? Yeah, a total nitwit,” he cackles.

You glance at him with your mouth ajar:

“Aemond, that was last semester.”

“I didn’t know how to approach you,” he admits, abashed. “And I didn’t want it to be weird or to mess it up and — ”

You shut him off with another kiss, and he hums in satisfaction. His thumb softly rubs your cheek while he deepens the kiss, his mouth exploring yours. His other hand dares to move lower, squeezing your hip and making you sigh at the alacrity of his. It’s simultaneously overwhelming and not enough but he still holds back a little, not crossing the line just yet.

“Wow, can’t believe this is finally happening!”

You break the kiss, startled by someone’s voice. A blond guy is leaning on the door frame, a pair of glasses and a grin on his face. Aemond groans into your shoulder, his hands moving to your waist.

“It’s Y/N, right? I’m this dipshit’s brother,” he shamelessly walks closer and extends a hand. You reluctantly go for a handshake, but he plants a quick kiss on yours.

“Aegon,” Aemond says with a warning tone.

“Oh, don’t grumble at me, I’ve been listening to you talk about her for months,” his brother’s smile widens. “Now Hel owes me 50 bucks.”

“Why is that?” you squint at him.

“We made a bet. I said he’d grow a pair and ask you out before the year ends. Glad I was right,” he snickers.

“Well, technically...,” you can help but laugh.

“He still didn’t?” Aegon fakes a gasp. “I apologize on his behalf, I taught him better than that!”

“Can you please fuck off already?” Aemond glares at him, irritated, and Aegon rolls his eyes but takes the hint.

“Alright, I’ll leave you to it, kids,” he winks at you and walks away.

“I like him,” you exclaim.

“I don’t,” Aemond retorts and pulls you in for a kiss as soon as the door closes. “But I will let him win the bet.”

“Is that so?” you cock your head with a smile.

“Yeah,” he pauses, his face getting serious, and he almost looks scared while asking: “Will you go on a date with me?”

“I’d love to,” you agree without a second thought, and his lips twitch upward, making your heart swell with affection. “Where do you plan on taking me?”

“I’ve got a few ideas,” Aemond says cryptically, his eyes never leaving yours. “May be more than just one date,” he sounds both daring and pleading. You gently trace the line of his scar, and he relaxes at the movement.

“So you are all mine for a while, huh?” you joyfully assume, earning a laugh from him, and he leans in, his hand lovingly caressing your face.

“For as long as you’ll have me,” he whispers before closing the distance between your lips. ➡ part 2: First time for everything

• listen, I looked at his face and I thought there’s no way girls won’t find him attractive, with or without a scar. so yeah, this version of Aemond is more confident. I may do a second part? maybe more headcanons (love confessions, meeting his family, moving in together, etc.)

• I kinda want to write for Aegon, too... I mean, just look at the original photo and tell me he doesn’t seem like the sweetest fuckboy ever! tagging @greenowlfactif, @kyuupidwrites since you asked (I hope that’s fine 🥺)

✨ recent fic: “My first choice” (she’s Aegon’s bestie, inspired by “Little women”) 💌 my masterlist English is not my first language, so feel free to message me if you spot any major mistakes!

[lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks]

being an adhd person living with an adhd person sometimes means having to come up with interesting solutions to problems

I have a very good medication taking routine, I very rarely miss my morning and night meds, my roommate is not good at this, so my roommate sheepishly asked if I could remind them to take their meds when I take mine

in order to remind myself to do this I have had to keep their medication right next to mine (this is fine I will not mix them up because I am very careful about medications to a slightly excessive degree)

however my roommate is leaving early tomorrow for a work trip, and we forgot to sort out what will be done about their morning medication before they went to bed, I'm currently very sick and have been sleeping in a lot so I might not wake up to an early alarm

I can't leave the meds out in the kitchen with a note because the ✨adhd✨makes the chances of them simply not noticing it very high (also I don't know where my stationary is)

I thought of putting it on top of something they'll take with them but I have no idea what they'll be taking and also their stuff is kind of everywhere because we're both still unpacking from moving house

the solution

I put them in a little pill carrier and sat them on top of the bag of cat biscuits

because if there is one thing they will definitely do before they leave, it's feed the cat, because the cat sure as fuck will not let them forget

I also left the pill box sitting open so they wouldn't just move it out of the way automatically without realising what was in it, thankfully the cat biscuits are kept up high where the cat can't reach and knock the pills over (not that she would try anyway she is exceptionally lazy)

adhd roommates by theory sounds like it should be a disaster (and admittedly when it comes to washing the dishes it is) but it's nice to live with someone who thinks the way you think so we can do little things for each other like this in ways that make sense to us

I'm certain if I were neurotypical I would

A) have left the pills on the counter with a note and incorrectly assumed that would do the job just fine and

B) I'd be able to do that because I would probably know exactly where my stationary is

and to add an extra dash of ✨adhd fuckery✨ while writing this post I just looked up at my pills container and noticed my roommates pills weren't there for tomorrow, and got very confused before remembering I had JUST put them out on the cat food and was also literally in the middle of writing this post about how I put them out on the cat food

no fucking wonder neurotypicals can't figure us out

[lemoncrushh]

Friends Don't

Summary: Harry and Gabriella have been good friends for a few years. But neither of them knows the feelings the other has.

Warnings: Just some smut at the end. 18+ ONLY.

Word Count: 7.8k

A/N: Inspired by the song by Maddie & Tae. Real Harry x OC. Written in first person. Originally posted in 2020.

"Gabs..." I faintly heard in the distance as thick strands of sleep threatened to pull from my heavy eyelids. I thought I was still dreaming, so I rolled over, hoping to continue the fantastic scenario I was already starting to forget.

"Gabby," I heard again, much clearer this time, and I knew I was no longer on the red carpet next to my new BFFs Lizzo and Alexa Chung.

A hand tapped me on my shoulder, and with a groan, I lifted my comforter over my head, hoping to return to flashing lights and high heels, but for which event I was unsure.

"GABRIELLA!" the determined voice shouted, pulling the covers from my grip and forcing me to blink several times.

"What the fuck?" I pouted, finally realizing the light was not from cameras but from my roommate's cell phone.

"God, you sleep like the dead!" exclaimed Angie. "I can't believe you can't hear your phone."

"I have it on vibrate," I muttered sleepily, my eyes still mere slits as I tried to reach for my cell on my nightstand.

"So, I can hear it from the bathroom!" my roommate continued. "It's been going off for like the last fucking hour! Somebody's obviously trying to get a hold of you."

"You've been in the bathroom for an hour?" I asked smugly, knowing she had been exaggerating in typical Angie fashion. I didn't need to look at her to know she was rolling her eyes.

"Oh!" I sounded when I inspected the screen. "It's Harry!"

With a huff, Angie crossed her arms. "Doesn't he know some people sleep at night?"

"He's in London," I told her. "It's already morning there."

"Even worse," she spat. "He's famous but still doesn't know about time differences."

"Shh," I waved her off as I tried to listen to the voicemail Harry had left. With another look of disgust, Angie turned for the bathroom that separated our rooms.

"G'night, Gabs. Tell your boyfriend to get a watch," I heard her say before shutting the door behind her.

Shaking my head, I caught the tail end of Harry's message, then played it back once more.

"Gabs, it's me!" he greeted, sounding chipper. I sometimes hated him for his effortless ability to be pleasant before 10AM. "I just...wanted to talk to you. You're probably asleep, sorry. Sometimes I forget. Give me a ring if you're still awake though. 'Bye."

Though that was the only voicemail he'd left, I had three missed calls from him, and two texts.

Hey! Are you there?

Call me when you get this.

Eager to hear what news Harry had to tell me, I pressed the screen to call his number. He answered after the first ring.

"There you are!" he announced.

"Here I am," I giggled, sitting up in bed. I wasn't sure why, but I always seemed to sit up when talking to Harry, like it was an important meeting. I suppose in a way, it was. Conversations with him, though usually light-hearted were some of my favorites, and I liked to give them my full attention.

"Did I wake you?" he asked.

"No, Angie did," I jabbed. "To tell me my phone was ringing."

"Oh, shit," Harry groaned. "Sorry, love."

I laughed. "No worries. What's up?"

"Not much. 'm leaving for the airport soon."

"Oh!" I sounded. "I thought you were flying to LA tomorrow."

"Nope, today."

"Wait..." I shook my head. "It is tomorrow there."

I heard Harry's low chuckle as I mentally cursed my stupidity. Angie would be happy to know Harry was not the only one who had a lack of time zone knowledge.

"So what else?" I inquired. "Anything exciting?"

"No, not really."

"No?" I furrowed my brows in confusion. "Why'd you call?"

"I dunno..." Harry paused. "Just felt like saying hi."

"Oh," I felt my heart jump in my chest.

"I just missed you."

"Oh," I said just above a whisper. "I miss you too."

I heard Harry hum softly which only managed to send butterflies to my stomach.

Harry and I had been friends for a while. When I had only been living in LA for a little over a year, I had lucked out on getting invited to my first celebrity party through a friend of an acquaintance. Though I'd spent most of the evening ducking behind plants and drinking more than my share of vodka, I had managed to meet a handful of people, including Harry Styles and his One Direction bandmates. Through the years Harry and I had managed to stay in touch and form a long-lasting friendship for which I had a large fondness. I never told him I used to have a massive crush on him, however, as I didn't want to lose what we had.

"I have work to do when I get to LA," Harry said, "but then I have two days off. We should...hang out, yeah?"

"Yeah," I breathed, then cleared my throat. "Yeah, that sounds good."

"Great." I could literally hear his smile through the phone, as if that's possible. "I'll let you get back to sleep. I'll call you when I get in, okay?"

"Okay."

"Sweet dreams, Gabby."

"Goodnight, Harry."

Disconnecting the call, I returned my phone to the nightstand and crawled back under the covers. I laid awake for Lord knows how long, wondering why Harry had decided to call me in the middle of the night just to say hi. Even if he had forgotten about the time zones, he had never done that before. More than likely he would have waited until he was in LA, and it would have been a quick text to ask if I wanted to meet him somewhere for coffee or drinks. We were only friends, after all, not...together.

Somehow, the heavy cloud of sleep finally fell over me again and I was taken back to dreamland. This time, however, I didn't dream about a red carpet event or my wishful buddies Alexa and Lizzo. This time...I dreamt of green eyes and brown curls, soft lips curled up to meet dimples and inked skin on arms that held me close. And I only wished I wouldn't wake up.

"Gaaaabbyyyy!" Harry shouted into the phone. "How are you, love?"

I laughed, recognizing my friend's drunken voice. One thing I loved about Harry, he was a happy drunk.

"I'm okay, Harry, where are you?"

"I dunno," he said matter of factly. "Some party. I forget who it's for."

"Jeez, must be nice," I quipped.

"Honestly, I wish you were here with me. It would be more fun."

I chuckled again. "I doubt that."

"I don't. Why aren't you here?" he asked with a slight pout in his tone.

"I wasn't invited."

"Oh yeah. Sorry. I should have invited you. You could have been my date."

While his words made my stomach flip, I knew he didn't mean them literally.

Since Harry had been back in LA, we'd hung out together almost every free chance he'd gotten. We'd had lunch and dinner together a couple of days in a row, went shopping to a string of vintage shops that were his favorites, and he even let me check out a studio where he was putting some finishing touches on a song he was working on. When he'd leisurely mentioned going to a party this weekend, I had only let the possibility that he'd ask me to go flitter through my mind briefly before dismissing it. He was a busy musician and celebrity, and certainly under no obligation to bring me as a tag along to such an event. I hadn't even bothered to ask him for whom it was, or if it was entertainment or charity related.

Just then I heard another male voice greeting Harry, and Harry saying "Hey, man!" They exchanged a few more words until Harry returned with a cordial and unnecessary apology.

"Well, it sounds like you're having fun," I commented.

"Eh, party's starting to die down," said Harry. "Think I might leave soon. Can I come by yours?"

"Mine?" I gulped. "Um...what for?"

"Mmm...so I can see you?"

"Well...I mean..." I stumbled, my eyes darting around my room and landing on the unmade bed and pile of clothes in the chair, the collection of empty water bottles on my nightstand and dresser. I hadn't bothered to put a stitch of make-up on that day, and I was wearing an old sweatshirt and shorts, my hair up in a loose bun.

"I wasn't really prepared for company," I continued. "And you just saw me the other day..."

I heard Harry giggle and for a second I thought he might be pulling my leg.

"Never mind. That was a dumb idea. It's late," he said.

"Yeah, it is." I sighed, not a hundred percent sure if it was relief or disappointment.

"Are you going to bed soon?"

"Probably."

"Then I'll say goodnight," Harry offered softly.

"Okay."

"Call you tomorrow?"

"Of course," I grinned, unable to stop it if I tried. "Please don't drive, okay?"

Harry giggled again. "Wouldn't dream of it."

"Good," I said.

"I have a driver. But I like that you care about me, Gabs."

I bit my lip, grateful he couldn't see my face. "Goodnight, Harry. Enjoy the rest of your evening."

"Goodnight, Gabby. I love- I mean, talk to you tomorrow."

My hand shook as I disconnected the call. Was he about to say...? Nah. My friend had had a few too many and was feeling good. That's all it was. Right?

"So, what do you think?" Harry asked me.

He'd brought me to the studio again after a late breakfast where he'd told me the song he'd been working on was finally finished and he wanted me to hear it. I sat on the leather sofa behind him while he sat at the soundboard. I'd listened to almost the entire song with my eyes closed, letting the music surround me and fill my senses. When the song ended, I wanted to pop my eyes open and scream to him how amazing and wonderfully talented he was, but instead I bit my tongue and decided on a different approach.

"Not bad," I commented, straight faced.

Taken aback, Harry frowned. I watched his nose twitch before he scratched it, then looked away from me and back again.

"Not bad?"

"Yeah, it's a pretty good song." This time, I couldn't look him in the eye, so I brought my foot up to my other leg and pretended to inspect my shoelace. "I like it."

"You're shitting me, right?" he asked, using a phrase he'd heard me use far too often.

Unable to contain my composure any longer, I burst out laughing, throwing my hands up.

"Of course I am, Harry! Are you fucking kidding? It's incredible! You're incredible!"

I saw Harry's chest fall as he let out a breath.

"God, you had me for a second," he chuckled, shaking his head.

"Okay, okay, let's be real," I offered, waving my hands in front of me. "You're like off the charts good, alright? That's a given."

"Pppfff" Harry sounded, rolling his eyes.

"No, no, it's true. And you know it. Pretty much anything you put out is going to be great. But..."

When I didn't continue, Harry lifted a brow. "But what?"

"But this..." I raised my shoulders and held out my hands, "I don't know, it's like you just keep getting better. You can't lose. Everything you reach for, you achieve it. And I'm so fucking proud of you."

I could feel myself starting to get a little choked up at my own words, knowing they were absolutely true. Harry rose from his chair then and sat next to me on the sofa. He looked me in the eye as the most gorgeous smile spread across his face and he held out his arms. With no other words spoken, I turned and leaned into him, letting him pull me into a warm hug.

"Thanks, baby," he murmured against my hair.

At least, I thought he said baby. He might have said Gabby, and I've been known to get the two confused before. I didn't think I heard the Gab part though, and I might have just been hearing what I wanted to. Regardless, my insides were a mess when he pulled back and kissed my cheek. His gaze was mesmerizing as he continued to look me in the eye, and for a moment I hoped he would inch just a bit closer so our lips would touch.

I caught the corners of his mouth moving as he lifted a hand from my back to brush away a strand of hair from my face. My own hands were still at his waist from the hug that seemed to linger between us until I heard a noise and I jumped. The door to the soundbooth opened and I looked up to see Tyler.

"Oh, hey there Gabby, didn't know you were coming today."

"Just wanted her opinion on the track we finished," Harry explained for me as I tried to gather myself.

"Oh yeah? What'd ya think?" asked Tyler.

"Phenomenal, of course," I replied, catching Harry's smirk out of the corner of my eye. I was glad he didn't mention my teasing.

"Well, consider yourself lucky," said Tyler. "You're the first person to hear it."

"I am?" I asked incredulously. Then I looked at Harry. "You didn't tell me that!"

Harry shrugged, his smirk turning into a grin.

"And here I thought I was being sly and cheeky."

Harry laughed then, took my hand and rose from the couch, pulling me with him. We both exchanged goodbyes with Tyler, Harry stating he'd be back later that evening. It wasn't until we got outside to his car that I noticed he was still holding my hand.

"What was that?" I inquired.

"Wha'?" he glared at me innocently.

"You let me hear your finished song before anyone else?"

"Yeah. Thought you'd like it."

"Well, of course I did, but that's beside the point," I argued.

Stepping closer to me so that I was trapped between him and the car, Harry reached in his pocket with his free hand and pulled out his keys, his eyes locked with mine the entire time.

"And what's the point, Gabs?" he asked low, pressing the key fob.

"Nothing. Just that it's...special."

A grin grew on Harry's handsome face again, hitting a nerve I hadn't felt before.

"Exactly," he agreed, finally releasing my hand to reach around and open the car door for me.

Staring at him for a moment, I reluctantly climbed inside, locking my seatbelt when he shut the door and walked around to his side.

We drove in silence for what felt like an eternity until I broke the tension and said something.

"Thank you, Harry."

"You're welcome," he said.

"You're right, it was very special. I just wasn't expecting to be the first. Not even your mom or sister, or any of your other friends have heard it yet?"

"Nope. Only Jeffrey and Tyler and the band."

"Oh," I mouthed, feeling the butterflies again.

"I only just put it on my phone. But I wanted you to hear it in the studio since you were with me when we were finishing it. So actually, you got to hear it even before it was complete."

"Yeah, but that was just a snippet," I remarked. I wasn't sure where I was going with this. I wasn't trying to argue with him. I just couldn't fathom being the first person he wanted to hear his new music.

"Anyway," I added. "It was very nice of you to share it with me. I feel special."

With another grin, Harry reached across the console and patted my leg. I nearly came unglued when his fingers lingered a little longer and brushed my upper thigh. Electricity shot up my spine and I had to bite my lip to keep from gasping for air.

I must have been gazing out the window when Harry decided to disturb the silence and turn on the radio. I hummed along to a familiar song until I noticed Harry was getting off the freeway, a couple of exits before mine.

"Are we going somewhere else?" I asked, looking at him for the first time since he'd touched me.

"No," he shook his head. "Just thought I'd go this way."

"But...we'll hit way more lights," I said.

Harry chuckled. "You have somewhere to be?"

"No," I furrowed my brow. "It's just...longer."

"Sometimes longer is better."

I stared at his profile for a moment before I started laughing, which soon turned into a cackle. I had to cover my mouth so keep from sounding like a goofy hyena. As I was leaning over, I felt a hand on my back.

"Take it easy, love, it wasn't that funny," conveyed Harry, although I could hear the humor in his voice.

"I know, but I can't stop laughing," I croaked.

"Breathe, babe!"

Harry rubbed my back as I tried to catch my breath, but his babe remark wasn't helping.

"Need me to pull over?"

"No..." I gasped, sitting up. "No, I'm fine now."

Pushing my hair from my face, I tried my best to keep the giggles at bay. Then I took a deep breath and let it out.

"Sorry, Gabs," said Harry. "Didn't mean to get you going there. I just meant sometimes it's nice to take the long way home."

"Oh. Oh! Duh!" I blushed.

Harry smiled, turning up the radio. We sang along to an old Van Morrison song that just seemed to fit the mood for the day. When the next song started, Harry turned the radio down again and cleared his throat.

"So I have another party to attend this weekend," he stated.

"Oh yeah? Are you planning on drunk calling me again?" I jabbed.

"No," Harry laughed, turning down my block. "I was hoping you'd come with me."

"Oh. Really?" Taken off guard, I had no idea what else to say.

"Yeah. Will you?"

"Um...is it...like super fancy? Do I need a new dress...?"

"No, no, it's really casual. It's on the beach, actually. In Malibu. And um...it's overnight."

"Oh!" Damn. I wasn't sure I was prepared for a beach party. A rich, celebrity beach party. A formal event I could manage, maybe. I could fake my way through smiles and photo-ops, small talk and mingling. But casual celebrity parties made me uneasy. And overnight? With Harry?

"You don't...you don't think I'll be...out of place?" I asked.

"What? No. Gabs, you're the friendliest person I know, are you shitting me?"

I couldn't help but laugh at his use of my phrase again. Sometimes he was so fucking cute, and I wanted to kick myself for not allowing myself to notice it earlier. But at the same time I wanted to kick myself for noticing it now.

We pulled up to a red light, and Harry turned to look at me. "Please say yes. I'd love it if you went with me."

If the light hadn't changed, I would have gotten lost in his pleading eyes right then. Instead, as he shifted gears and accelerated, I sighed and gave in to his request.

"Okay. I'll go."

"Yay!" Harry exclaimed, reaching for my hand and giving it a squeeze. "We'll have a great time."

When we arrived at my place, Harry walked me up to my door while giving me more details about the Malibu party. Angie was in the kitchen making some of her famous oatmeal raisin cookies, of which Harry could not resist. I finally sent him off with four more to take home with him and a reassurance I would go to the party.

"Just making sure," he grinned against the door frame, playing with his keys. "I have to give them a plus one, and I just think I'd have more fun with you than Jeffrey."

"Jeff's not going?" I teased, dismissing the first part of his comment.

"Eh..." Harry tilted his head. "He'll probably manage snagging himself an invite."

I pursed my lips before giving in to his humor. "Bye, Harry."

"Okay girl," I heard Angie say from the kitchen after I shut the door. "Spill it."

"Spill what?" I asked, grabbing my second cookie from the plate.

"The tea. You sure have been spending a lot of time with Harry lately."

"He's fun to hang out with," I said with a mouthful of cookie.

"Oh c'mon. I know I tease you about him and call him your boyfriend. But is there something going on between you for real?"

"No!" I replied a little too hastily, swallowing hard. "You know we're just friends."

"Well I thought you were," she said. "And you say you are, but does he know that?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Gabby. Friends don't walk you up to your apartment and stick around for another twenty minutes and keep making excuses not to leave."

"You had cookies," I remarked.

"Gabs! Don't be blind! I heard him saying something about a party."

"Yeah...he invited me to one this weekend."

"His party?"

"No. I'm not sure whose it is. I just know it's in Malibu at some enormous beach house where there's rooms for all of us to sleep over."

Her jaw dropping, Angie wiped her hands on a dishtowel and dropped it on the counter. "Uh huh."

"It doesn't mean anything," I rolled my eyes.

"Okie doke. If you say so."

My roommate gave me the side eye as I walked down the hall to my room. Shutting the door, I leaned against it, wondering if she was right. Had my instincts been correct? Was this more than friendship? Or was I overthinking it and setting myself up to be heartbroken?

I stood outside on the porch beside the wooden railing, overlooking the beach. It was really beautiful this time of day. While a warm breeze still whipped my hair around me, the sun was beginning to announce its descending on the horizon.

The party had turned out to be even more than I'd imagined. While just the house I was standing in was probably the biggest beach house I'd ever been to, the two on either side were also members of the party's location, each complete with their own bar on the veranda. I'd never been to anything so fancy in my life, and in my simple white sundress I felt a little out of place. I'd mentioned my concern to Harry shortly after we'd arrived, but he assured me it was fine, and I looked beautiful. I'd gotten chills when he told me that, and not from the breeze, but when he'd noticed me shivering, he offered to get a sweater from my suitcase to which I declined.

"There you are," I heard behind me.

I turned my neck to see Harry approaching, the look of delight on his face.

"Was wondering where you'd gone," he said, offering me the drink in his hand.

I shook my head. "I'm sticking with beer tonight, and I'm taking a break for now."

"Alright," his smile faltered. "You okay?"

"Mmm, I'm fine," I nodded. "Just, sometimes sunshine and alcohol don't mix well with me, so I'm taking it easy."

"I understand. Speaking of the sun..." he gestured toward the sky that was starting to turn a bright orange just above the waves.

"So pretty, isn't it?" I commented.

"Beautiful," I heard him say, although from my peripheral view, it didn't seem like he was looking at the beach. When I looked up at him, he grinned like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"I mean, yeah," he said, stirring the tiny straw in his drink. "This is my favorite time of the day."

We stood side by side as the sun became a golden half orb behind the ocean, and the beach became all aglow with strings of lights from the houses.

"Wanna take a walk before it gets too dark?" Harry asked, holding out his hand.

I took it hesitantly, following him down the steps and onto the sand. When we reached the damp shore, I removed my sandals so they wouldn't get muddy, holding them by the strap with my finger. My dress, though not long enough to reach my ankles, still came past my knees, so I had to lift it with my other hand, giving me no free hand to hold Harry's.

"Here, Gabs," he said, offering to hold my shoes.

With a smile, I accepted, taking his other hand once again. We strolled down the beach leisurely, our arms swinging between us. I teased him a couple of times, threatening to kick water on him, but when he lifted me up and spun me around, I knew my tricks had come to an end.

"Okay, okay, Uncle!" I screamed.

When he finally set me back down, I gave him a playful punch in the arm.

"Meanie," I said, picking up the hem of my dress that had almost gotten soiled.

"You might as well let that down, babe, you know you're gonna get wet," Harry laughed.

"Only if you plan on pushing me into the ocean!" I protested.

"Is that a dare?" He grinned his Cheshire cat smile, and I ran for it.

I was almost to the house when he caught up with me, but I suspected he had given me a head start. I squealed when his arms trapped me and he spun me around again, aiming for the water.

"Harry Edward Styles, let me down!" I shouted.

I never felt so relieved to feel warm sand beneath my feet than I did in that moment. Breathing heavily, I glared up at him, his eyes dancing with laughter.

"You're an ass," I remarked with disdain.

"Aw Gabs. I wouldn't have actually done it. You know me."

I narrowed my eyes. "I thought I did."

I started to head for the house, but Harry stopped me, standing in front of me. "Gabriella. C'mon, I was joking. I thought I was just going along with your game. I'm sorry."

I took a deep breath. "Okay."

Stepping closer to me, he brushed his hand against my bare arm. "I would never do anything to deliberately hurt you, or embarrass you. You mean too much to me. I was just having fun. That's why we're here, right?"

My face softened and I nodded.

"Forgive me, love?"

"'kay," I said softly.

"Alright," he beamed, handing me my shoes. "Let's go have a drink."

Harry and I sat at the bar outside of the main house. We had a great time chatting with each other, reminiscing, talking to some of Harry's friends. About an hour into it, however, although the alcohol was keeping my blood warm, the chill of the breeze was starting to get to me, so Harry left to retrieve my sweater. When he returned, he surprised me by having one of his own, nearly the same color as mine. I giggled when I saw him, but I also felt touched. I wasn't exactly sure if he did it on purpose so I wouldn't feel out of place, or if he was chilly too and didn't mind that we matched. Either way, I found it adorable, and I couldn't help but notice the gentle way he held my sweater open so I could slip my arms through before he rubbed my shoulders with his hands.

"Thanks," I whispered.

"Any time," he leaned into my ear and whispered back.

The stool next to me ended up occupied while he was away, but being the generous guy he was, Harry didn't ask for it back and in fact insisted that the other woman sit there. So instead, he just stood next to me.

Something was apparent. I was completely confused. I had started to...feel things. More than friendship feelings. I was dizzy and not just because of the beer. I was seeing Harry in a different light, more than just the silly crush I'd had before. And I couldn't help but think he might feel the same. The problem was, I wasn't a hundred percent certain, and I didn't want to look like a fool if I just came out and asked. So I decided to take a different approach.

"So...confession time," I swallowed, setting my empty beer glass on the counter and swinging my legs underneath the bar to face him.

"Confession?" he teased with a smirk, his eyebrow raised in question.

"Yep," I nodded a little too eagerly.

"Alright," he grinned wider, leaning against the bar.

I had to contain my composure as he looked absolutely gorgeous, his hair windswept, his lips full and inviting, and I knew that one more sip of alcohol might possibly have caused me to leap from my barstool and give him more than the confession I had in mind.

"Remember when we met?" I asked.

"I do," Harry nodded.

"You had the long hair then," I commented, making hand gestures next to my face to imply long, cascading curls.

Harry chuckled, his shoulders shaking as I caught a glimpse of his cross necklace dancing in the middle of his chest. "Yeah."

"I used to have such a major crush on you," I blurted.

With a tilt of his head, Harry looked at me. I considered for a second that I'd made a horrible mistake by telling him. Surely he was confused that I'd made such a confession. We were friends in his eyes and always had been, nothing more. He was probably trying his best to think of a nice way to let me down, to tell me he'd never had similar feelings about me, or worse, that I shouldn't have such feelings for him, like a young schoolgirl with a crush on her older brother's friend. I suddenly wanted to take back my words, to pretend I hadn't said them, but Harry surprised me with his next question.

"Used to?" he asked.

"Well, yeah," I laughed nervously.

"Oh." Harry shifted on his feet and began to finger the napkin underneath his glass. "Why didn't you tell me?"

I made a sound and I shrugged. "You were...well, you were hot, and I couldn't believe you actually wanted to talk to me. But then we became close friends so..."

My words trailed off, but I figured Harry knew what I meant. Inspecting the contents of his glass, he swirled it around before lifting it to his lips and setting it back down. I watched him as my stomach flipped and he ran his free hand through his hair.

"I'm really glad we became so close," he said.

"Me too," I smiled.

"I like being your friend, Gabs," Harry added, turning to face me again, his grin mimicking mine for a second before it faltered and he shook his head. "I reckon I have a confession to make, too."

"You do?" I raised a brow, shifting on my stool.

"I've had a massive crush on you as well," he stated.

I gasped, nearly choking. "You did?"

His eyes blinking slowly, Harry stepped closer to me. Or at least, it seemed like he did, even though there was little space between us at it was.

"Did...still do," he confessed, his voice so low it was barely audible.

"What?"

My one word came out like my last breath, and I quickly felt like I needed oxygen. Harry was looking at me intently, standing so close, he was practically between my legs. The noise and chatter surrounding us was blatant, but time seemed to freeze as we stared at each other, Harry's confession whirling around us like clouds of smoke.

"I wasn't quite sure how to tell you," he finally said.

My eyes still wide, I glared at him incredulously. "For...how long?"

Harry shrugged just as the bartender returned with our drink refills. Suddenly realizing how thirsty I was, I eagerly picked up my glass and took a long chug of beer. I didn't miss the tiny smirk on Harry's face before he lifted his own glass and I wiped my apparent beer foam mustache from my lips with the back of my hand.

"Since...since we met?" I asked, urging Harry to continue as I set the glass back down.

"Oh, I dunno, Gabs," he shrugged again. "I mean, I fancied you then, definitely. But not in the way..."

"In the way...what?"

"In the...feelings kind of way," said Harry.

"There's a difference?" I asked, only half teasing.

"Well, of course," he grinned, his dimples reappearing on his cheeks. "I hadn't gotten to know you yet."

"Oh."

"Probably in the same way you fancied me," he added.

"Oh."

"Anyway, I..." he looked down, scratching his nose. "I kinda thought you knew. At least, at one time."

"When?" I asked, flabbergasted. Here I had been nervous about confessing my feelings for him, and I'd never even considered he'd had feelings for me all along, not just recently.

"Last year. Your birthday. And then New Year's."

My jaw dropped as I easily recalled both of those occasions, but had no memory of him giving me any idea he'd liked me as more than a friend. Sure, he'd given me an expensive gift, and we'd gotten pretty wasted on New Year's Eve and I'd let him crash at my place...

"I had no idea!" I exclaimed.

"Well..." Harry smirked, lifting his glass again. "I reckon I'm not very good at giving hints then. But it's...out in the open now."

"Harry..." I mouthed.

With another smile, he threw back the rest of his cocktail and set the empty glass on the bar.

"Kinda wish now I'd told you sooner," he said. "Seeing as you used to have a thing for me, too."

"Not used to," I admitted.

"Wha'?"

"I still do, too," I said. "Still have a thing for you, I mean. Or a crush, or whatever. No, not a crush, that seems so juvenile. Oh my God, Harry, I'm so stupid!"

Harry chuckled, his eyes squinting the way I liked that made him look so handsome and childlike at the same time.

"Slow down, love," he offered, placing his hand on my arm.

"I'm so dumb, Harry," I groaned. I could feel the effects from the alcohol now, but I knew my feelings were honest and not beer induced. "I've been making excuses. I was wondering why you were doing certain things, like calling me in the middle of the night or standing close to me. Playing me your song and inviting me to this party. I worried I was overthinking it all. Like there was no way you liked me in that way. We're just good friends. But now..."

"Now?" His eyes studied my face, waiting for my response as both of his hands took mine, bringing them to his chest.

"Now I know you do."

"Yes I do, Gabriella."

I wanted to grab him and kiss him right then and there, and I would have if the woman behind him hadn't bumped into him and reminded me where we were.

"C'mere," I urged, rising from my stool and taking his hand.

I pulled him to the steps that led to the beach and we walked until I found a dark enough spot where I knew we were out of earshot. Then I turned around and wrapped my arms around him. Without a word, Harry leaned down and kissed me softly, making the butterflies in my stomach flutter and my insides light up like dynamite. Then he deepened the kiss, our tongues dancing in rhythm with my heartbeat.

"Baby..." Harry groaned after our long kiss, his forehead pressed against mine.

"I...I heard you call me that earlier," I said as I traced his mouth with my fingertip. "I thought I was lying to myself."

"Not a lie, baby," he assured me. "I guess some of my hints did get through."

I smiled up at him and licked my lips.

"Kiss me again, Harry," I begged, "so I know I'm not dreaming."

"You're certainly not," Harry said low before pressing his lips to mine again.

We kissed like that on the beach for a long time, the noise of the party worlds away, the crash of the waves in the distance.

"Harry..." I whispered when we came up for air. "I know we're at a party and everything...but...I'd really like to be alone with you right now."

"I think that can be arranged," he agreed.

Not bothering to say goodnight to his friends at the main house, he took my hand and led me to the smaller house on the left, the one in which we were staying. With a quick wave to a handful of people on the porch, we made our way through the back doors and up the stairs. Stopping in the hallway, Harry grinned at me.

"Yours or mine?" he asked cheekily.

"Shut up and get in there," I quipped, pushing him towards our room.

When he opened the door, I eyed the two beds.

"Seems like such a waste," I commented as I followed him to the bed he chose, kicking off my shoes.

"Could have been worse," said Harry as he sat on the bed. "I could have asked for separate rooms."

"Oh, so you were expecting to get some tonight?" I teased as I sensually unbuttoned my cardigan and dropped it.

"No baby," he replied, pulling me to stand between his knees, his green eyes sincere. "Just hoping."

With a gentle smile, I leaned forward and took his face in my hands. I looked at him for a few moments, studying his gorgeous face before kissing his soft, warm lips. It was as though a fire had ignited within me, and I couldn't get enough. I felt his hands on my hips then, trying to pull up the sides of my dress. I heard a pout sound from his throat as I separated our mouths, but his face lit up when he realized what I was doing. Grabbing the hem of my dress, I pulled it up and over my head, letting it fall to the floor. Another sound vibrated from Harry's chest before he slid his hands up my sides and rose from the bed.

In one swift motion, he pulled both his sweater and shirt over his head, not bothering to separate the two. I had seen him shirtless before, but somehow this time was different. I wanted to trace every tattoo, kiss the little patch of hair on his chest and lick a long trail down his belly. My mouth began to water knowing I had the opportunity. I watched him unbutton his pants next, causing my heart to beat faster. I must have been biting my lip in anticipation because Harry chuckled low then, lifting his finger to pry my lip from my teeth.

"You're so sexy," he declared.

"Me?"

"Yeah," he nodded, his eyebrows raised in confirmation. "I've wanted to suck on that bottom lip for a long time."

"God, you're gonna drive me crazy, aren't you?"

Harry laughed harder. "That's the plan."

Unable to control myself, I crashed into his lips again, tangling my fingers in his hair. He moaned against my mouth while his hands found the clasp of my bra, letting the straps fall down my shoulders. I released my grip on his hair so that the bra could drop to the floor and within seconds, my naked breasts were covered by his hands.

This time it was my turn to moan. One thing about Harry that I was perfectly aware of, other than his talent and cheekiness, was that he had amazing hands. When we'd first gotten to know each other, I would sometimes stare at them. And after I started thinking of him in a new way recently, it was not uncommon for me to fantasize about them. Feeling them touch my tender, bare skin was like nothing I'd ever dreamed. I could already feel the wetness between my thighs, and I felt light-headed.

"Harry..." I heard the sound come from my lips before I opened my eyes to see his staring back at me.

"Let's go to the bed, love," he announced.

In my...somewhat mediocre...experience, I was never sure of the protocol for turning down the bed for sex. I was pleasantly surprised, however, when I saw Harry grab the quilt and pull it down to the foot of the bed.

"C'mere, baby," he beckoned as he laid down.

A tiny spark of nerves shivered down my spine as I slowly crawled onto the bed beside him. He reached for me, pulling me against his body and kissing me passionately.

"I don't want this to be awkward," he whispered. "So you let me know if it doesn't feel right and you wanna stop."

"No," I shook my head. "No, it's not awkward at all. I'm just a little nervous, I guess."

"Let me help you relax then," he said. "Tell me how I can help."

His hand slid down my hip as I stared into his eyes. His fingers slipped underneath the lace side of my panties and I shut my eyes, taking a deep breath.

"How's that feel?" I heard him ask, his calloused fingertips lightly stroking the skin across my hip.

"Very nice," I breathed.

His hand moved slightly underneath the lace and I suddenly felt his fingers approach the area I needed him most. Another breath hitched in my throat as he began to touch me. With each moan of response I gave him, he continued, moving in circles with his fingertip.

"How's that, baby?"

"Mmmnnn...yes..." was all I could manage to say before he chuckled again. Shifting onto my back, I opened my legs wider so he had better access. Harry, however, had other ideas. Pulling his hand from my panties, he crawled up on his knees, his face inches from mine.

"I wanna taste you, Gabriella," he declared.

I threw my head back and whispered to the headboard as Harry pulled down my lace underwear. "Fuck, yes."

While my insides were still shaking, I no longer felt nervous. I already knew what his hands could do in just a few minutes. Now I was eager to feel his mouth on me.

Harry was one to take his time, never in a rush for anything, and this was no exception. He left soft kisses on my stomach and pubic bone, then lifting my thighs, he left kisses there as well. I was nearly ready to explode by the time I finally felt his tongue on me, and even then, he took his time.

Harry seemed to catch my clues as well, knowing when to speed up or slow down, learning my body and how much I could take. As I could feel myself reaching my climax, he lifted my hips with his hands, and as I came, he slowed gently before lowering me back down and kissing my thighs once again. My body trembled slightly as he laid his head on my thigh and hummed, waiting patiently for me to come down.

"God, you're beautiful," I heard him murmur as he crawled up my body again, his hands on my breasts.

I tasted myself on his tongue as he kissed me before he shimmied down and took my nipples into his mouth. I moaned again at the sensation, unable to control my urge to feel him inside me.

"Still nervous?" he asked me with a smirk.

I laughed out loud. "Not at all."

"Good," he chuckled. "'Cause I wanna fuck you so bad."

I laughed again, throwing my arm over my eyes.

"Too much?" I heard him ask as I felt the bed shift.

"No," I replied, lowering my arm as I saw him remove his underwear and reach in his bag for a condom. "I have a feeling there's no such thing as too much with you."

He laughed then, returning to the bed. "I guess we'll find out."

I bit my lip at both his cheeky remark and the anticipation. Lifting my knees, I watched him scoot between them. The initial pressure and sting was immediately replaced with immense pleasure as he filled me and began to thrust. Perhaps the aftershock of his oral treatment hadn't completely worn off, because it didn't take long before I was moaning and gasping underneath him. And I certainly was not alone because Harry's moans soon began to mimic mine, and he whined my name.

"Holy shit, you feel so good," I cried.

"Yeah, baby, fuck," he growled. "I'm close already."

I'd always thought the concept of coming together ridiculous, if not impossible. But with Harry, I wanted it. I even begged for it.

"Come with me, Harry," I called out, my legs wrapped around his waist and my hands holding onto his back for dear life.

"Fuck, yes."

And with one more thrust, it happened.

Fireworks, bottle rockets, shooting stars...all the silly cliches I'd read in books...they weren't fiction. Mind-blowing sex is real.

We laid in bed staring at the ceiling while our breaths evened out, then took turns in the bathroom. When I returned, I was surprised to see Harry with the sheet and quilt pulled up to his butterfly tattoo, two votive candles lit on the nightstand.

"Oh nice," I commented. "Where'd the candles come from?"

"They were here," he answered, his voice lower than usual. "In the table. It had been my plan to light them when...I mean if...we came up here. But I forgot."

"God Harry..." I mused as I crawled into bed beside him.

"What?"

"You just..."

With a wide grin, he chuckled, his adorable dimples dipping in his cheeks as he pulled me to him once again. "What, baby?"

"We're not friends anymore," I remarked.

"We're not?"

"No. Friends don't...do this," I said, brushing my fingers through his curls. "And definitely not what we just did."

"We're still friends, Gabs," Harry replied. "Just...a different kind."

"A better kind...I hope."

"Definitely."

"Hmm," I nodded. "Just do me a favor and don't break my heart."

"That's not part of the plan," he shook his head.

"Good. 'Cause I already kinda love you."

Lifting himself up on his elbow, Harry raised a brow. "Just kinda?"

"Well...you know...because we were already so close..."

With a glorious smile, Harry lowered his head to kiss my nose, then my lips.

"I love you too, baby," he said.

Hope you enjoyed! Please like, comment, reblog or send me a msg!

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[themoonchildwhofell]

all my ghosts

pairing: Farleigh Start x reader

content/warnings: fluff (im so sorry guys), pretty fast paced lol

summary: HC of a healthy farleigh x reader relationship (thank fucking god)

note: really wanted to write farleigh finding a nice partner that helps him with his trauma lol. possibly post saltburn. I'm so sorry my dudes. I really am a sucker for fluff! still based off of a Lizzy Mcalpine song.

"'Cause I hate all of my habits but I happen to love you."

Farleigh met you at a 7/11 near the place he works at. He's pretty bummed about not having to go to Oxford as well as fully disconnecting from the old life he had.

It was exactly July 11th. He remembered because you got a free slurpie at the convenient store.

You looked good for someone who was staying up due to an exam. You finally decided to claim that free slurpie they had since sugar wakes you up.

Farleigh, on the other hand, was just exploring the place. He didn't really want to stay at his mum's place. So he decided to get his own place.

He didn't really want to go out that night. It was a not-so-impulsive decision due to the fact that his case of cigarettes were all out.

The fluorescent lights weren't really giving you justice. As well as the bags under your eyes but who cares? You really need to pass this math exam tomorrow.

He approached you being the extrovert that he is and asked for your name and number. His excuse was to tour him around since it was his first time back at the States. (he was already living there for 3 weeks)

You agreed to tour him around. Praying that he wasn't a murderer of some sort.

You two went out the very next day to "tour" him around. At the end of the day, he did ask if this was a date.

"No. But maybe we can set a proper one?" you suggested.

He liked that. It means he gets to see you again.

Months pass and you both seem to connect really well.

The relationship progresses to you both being a couple.

Everything felt great. There was the usual fights, of course. I mean Farleigh is kind of a diva. You expected him to be annoying at times.

But most of the time, he's the loveliest.

It's the same with Farleigh as well. He loves your company. You make him feel good and sane. Especially after all the loss he experienced.

There are times that he feels like you're too good for him especially with all the baggage he has. All the trauma from Saltburn and his cousins passing.

These trauma did manifest some bad habits that he's actively fighting. But it helps him when he thinks that he might have a lot of ghosts with him haunting every piece of him left in Saltburn; He still has you.

Dates with him are always unpredictable. You both tried to do cocktails once at his apartment but failed. You both decided to just drink the wine and eat all the fruit.

You also tried cooking. Which was fun and messy. But the mac and cheese was good. He was really convinced that he could make a better mac and cheese than Gordon Ramsey. You giggled at how adorable he was and agreed. That night ended in a sink full of dirty dishes, slow dancing to Master & A Hound by Gregory Alan Isakov and tiny sweet kisses.

Sometimes, you both try clubbing. But end up going home early to just drink at home and watch some movie or have sex.

You both tried to finish two bottles of brandy one time.

"You really think you can beat me at drinking?" Farleigh smirked.

"Fuck! I'm 3 shots deep, my boy. And I feel sober." You we're not. You both didn't finish the bottles of brandy. And he had to carry you to bed.

"You know... I'm pretty drunk right now. But I really love you, Farleigh. You and all your ghosts." You passed out right after. He did say he loved you too. But he'll probably just repeat it once you both are sober. That was the first time you both said I love you.

You had the realization that you'd want to spend the rest of your life with him one Saturday morning. You both we're on the couch watching Bluey. You made him watch Bluey because at first he didn't want to since it's a kids show. But he saw the one episode with Chili and it really stuck with him.

He was laughing at a particular scene when he said. "I think we're like them. Chili and Bandit."

You stared at him. "Yeah. I guess so." It kinda dawned on you how compatible you both are. How you can live like this for the rest of your life.

He had the realization that he wanted to marry you the time you we're at his mom's home celebrating Christmas. You were helping with decorating the tree. He decided to quickly grab the star at the top of the cupboard in the hallway. While going back to the living room, he saw you sweaty, with your tongue out and concentrating on placing the lights on the tree. He realized he has never felt happier than that exact moment. He would love to spend every christmas decorating trees with you.

[blue--ingenue]

"Evasive Maneuvers" - Part 6

Read the next part

Summary: You've been in love with Sebastian since the moment you knocked him on his arse on your first day. Entering your sixth year, you finally begin working up the courage to confess your feelings when he suddenly becomes the best Beater Hogwarts has seen in decades - and subsequently becomes the school's most eligible bachelor.

Author's Notes: *shakes this chapter like a jar of dog biscuits* besties, i'm so sorry for the little hiatus, but as usually summer college classes were kicking my ass 🫠 my last finals are tomorrow, and then i need to speedrun packing for my dorm etc.... i also really wanted to do this chapter justice, so it was written and rewritten at least five times before i decided on the final draft. anyway, back to our (ir)regularly scheduled Slytherin himbo

The second he loses sight of her in the swarm of students he really starts to panic. He starts pushing his way through the crowd toward the last spot he saw her, but it’s by far easier said than done. Imelda calls out for him to come back for the usual post-game debrief, but he shouts an excuse over his shoulder about going to the hospital wing. She could be anywhere, and he’s wasting precious time. Sebastian doesn’t think he was nearly this panicked when he plummeted toward the ground mere minutes ago. He stops, exasperated, and surveys the crowd. 

Fuck it. 

He hastily mounts his broom and yanks the handle upward. Hard. It’s possibly the fastest he’s ever taken off and the crowd beneath him cheers as he shoots upward and forward. As soon as he clears the quidditch pitch he’s scanning the grounds for a trace of her homemade quidditch jersey. The thought of her putting so much time and effort into the garment, all in support of him, forces a fresh stab of guilt between his ribs. His broom seems to sense his urgency and accelerates on its own. God, he’s such an ass. She’s never been anything short of kind to him, far kinder than he probably deserves, and he’s spent the last few days thinking nothing but the worst of her. No, he realizes with a jolt, not even the worst. 

He’s been seething over the thought of her enjoying Weasley’s company. Merely being happy in his presence. Nothing malicious or untoward or even anything to do with him. Every new realization pricks him with equal measures of mortification and hope. How was he going to explain his recent actions without revealing his true feelings to her? He had no idea. At this point his one-track mind was focussed purely on finding her. He’d figure out the rest once he was sure no more tears adorned her face. Is this the type of bloke he was? So jealous that he’d rather cause pain than face it? He considers asking Anne for advice on the whole situation, but he already knows what his better half would say: “Just tell her how you feel.”

He shakes the thought from his head. Impossible. He couldn’t face the possibility of losing her if she felt the same way. And if she did? What if he wasn’t good enough for her? After all the pain he’d caused her in fifth year, and now this, what if she was better off with someone like Weasley? She deserves someone who will treat her heart with care. Someone who won’t coerce her into risking her life for dark magic. Although Sebastian had been true to his word about relinquishing dark magic, the guilt of his actions remained. Sometimes, on particularly dark nights, he’d wake to the sound of her wails and pleas as her body convulsed next to the remains of Noctua Gaunt, his hand would shake as he channeled the pain directly into her veins. Other nights he’d grip the sheets in a cold sweat, his body safe in bed, but his mind bound to the darkest parts of him he’d worked to repress. He could still feel the phantom rush of power as he held the relic. His blood sang with power as the resurrected dead moved to his every whim. And there, at the center of it all, her. 

Terrified, resolute, courageous. Even as inferi clawed at her arms and Solomon appeared at the mouth of the cave, red with rage, she was still trying to save him. In his darkest of moments he wonders if he’d ever deserved saving at all. If she hadn’t knocked him unconscious, and if Anne’s curse hadn’t lifted as soon as Rookwood was destroyed, Sebastian knew he could’ve done a lot more damage. He knew he didn’t deserve her, but that didn’t stop him from wanting her. And oh, did he want her. She was radiant, inside and out. Even if she wasn’t the most beautiful witch he’d ever beheld, her heart and mind would enchant him all the same. She was always so quick to help others, so fearless in her every endeavor, it was a wonder she had any love left to give. She never failed to surprise him. She made him want to be a better man. She saw every flaw in his character, ran a gentle hand along every faultline in his heart and mended it with a selflessness rarer than the ancient magic gracing her person. 

Sometimes he wanted to grab hold of her, tender yet so very sincere, and remind her that she needed to save herself, too. He wouldn’t insult her intelligence by suggesting that she was ignorant of her own needs. But one time, just one time, he wished she would put her well being above others’. 

There was one question still nagging at the bag of his mind, a thread he had neither the time nor heart to unravel at the time. Why had she been so upset by his kissing Amelia? Was she perhaps still angry at him for ignoring her this morning? Why else would she - 

Oh, hell. 

It was impossible, no more than a pipe dream, but did she share his feelings? Why else would she have run away? He wanted more than anything to believe it, but what if he was wrong? He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. If he confessed his feelings and she didn’t feel the same, he could lose her. But if she did, she could lose herself. He knew from experience that she’d go to hell and back just to fetch him, but she shouldn’t have to. Despite his best efforts he’d found numerous ways to hurt her in the past year. She didn’t deserve him. She deserved better. And if she wouldn’t make that choice herself, well, he’d just have to make it for her. 

Sebastian was so lost in his thoughts he nearly missed the flash of green beneath him. Cursing himself, he circled back to her and flew lower. It was unmistakably her. His last name billowed as she walked quickly toward the castle. He descended rapidly, calling out her name and begging her to wait. She turned and their gazes connected. Even if she was angry with him he felt a glimmer of hope that at least he had a chance to fix things. He was so focussed on her, he didn’t realize he was about to fly right into a tree until she shouted a warning, but it was too late to stop. Branches whipped at his face, stinging as he plowed through the tree before his broom lodged between two trunks and he was thrown forward. He managed to latch onto the branch, narrowly avoiding a swift trip to the ground twenty feet below. For the second time that day the air was forced from his bruised lungs and he fought the urge to vomit. Despite the pain and mortification, Sebastian couldn’t help but feel that this was at least partially deserved. He heard creaking as the branches to his left shifted and he watched his broom plummet to the ground. Well, the handle landed first, and the brush followed a moment later. Great, he thought. Imelda was sure to give him an earful about this. 

A brighter spot of green obscured the remains of his broom, and she looked up at him. He could almost hear a crack shooting through his heart as he took in her appearance. Her tears had smeared the green and silver paint almost completely off her cheeks. Her eyes were red-rimmed and every sniffle sent her shoulders trembling. At this moment he would have let go and fallen to the ground immediately if it meant he could wipe the tears from her face. Did he even deserve to? What right did he have to cause her grief and then swoop in like some undeserving savior?

She wordlessly raised her hands and reached out as though to pluck him from the branches. Blue light arced from her hands as she channeled her ancient magic. Sebastian felt himself being gently extricated from the twigs and leaves before those same gentle blue tendrils lowered him to the grass before her. 

The pair stood still. The intensity of her gaze rivaled his, but neither took a step forward. The air felt heavy with implications, things still left unsaid. Say something! A voice screamed in his head. You made this whole bloody mess, so say something!

He took two steps toward her, and said, “I’m sorry.”

She made no move toward him, and if not for the near-imperceptible softening of her brow he might’ve thought she hadn’t heard him. “For what?”

The determined search of her gaze told him everything. They both knew what she was really asking. She was waiting for him to voice his feelings. To lay claim to every bit of stolen affection threaded through the moments they shared. He had to tell her. He needed to tell her, she deserved that much. He opened his mouth to speak and - 

“I like you!” he shouted. She startled at his panicked outburst and he ran a frustrated hand through his hair. She looked at him, calculating and wary, before taking a step back. “Sebastian, you don’t have to say that simply because you feel guilty about-” he gave a frustrated groan and closed the distance between them in two determined strides. He frantically took her hands in his, held them gently, and whispered the truth he’d been so desperate to hide from. 

“That isn’t why. Please, you must know that isn’t why,” he pleaded. A stray tear remained on the apple of her cheek and he brushed it away with a tender swipe of his hand. He let his touch linger for a moment before drifting back to clasp her hands. “You occupy my every waking moment. Even in sleep I cannot escape the thought of you. Nor would I ever want to,” he declared. Her eyes searched for any hint of insincerity, but she didn’t pull away from him. Sebastian took that as a sign of encouragement and continued.  

“You are unlike any witch or wizard I have ever met. Kinder and braver than any soul I’ll ever meet, and my heart is irrevocably yours. You needn’t say anything, but know that it belongs to you. I’ve been a prick to you. I was selfish and scared and jealous, and I’m sorry for kissing Amelia. I won’t insult you by asking for forgiveness I know I don’t deserve, but you must know that I am yours, even if you want nothing to do with me.“

He finishes, breathless, and watches her. His brain is on fire and he’s pretty sure he’s run through the entire spectrum of human emotion in the last thirty seconds, but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t give her time to process everything he’s just thrown at her. He waits, and waits, and his palms begin to sweat. Shit. Was this the wrong time? Had he just royally fucked up whatever remained of their friendship? His gaze flicked up to her face, which had remained stoic beneath her runny makeup and the volley of emotion he had just flung at her. An agonizingly slow moment later she looked at him, really looked, as though for the first time, and she was livid.

There was fire in her eyes and blue magic arced from her fingertips. He took an instinctive step back as she leveled him with a stare rivaling the intensity of his own jackrabbiting heart. She swallowed thickly, and spoke.

“And how long,” she started, cocking her head. “How long have you felt this way?” He gulped. Was she going to hex him? Sebastian was sure he deserved it six ways to Sunday, but he would’ve at least liked more of a reaction to his confession before she blasted him to hell. 

“Since fifth year?” he squeaked. He actually squeaked. Good gods, this was mortifying. He thanked whoever was listening that at the very least Ominis wasn’t here to witness the whole ordeal. He answered like it was a question, when really this one of the only truths he knew in the core of his being to be true.

She took a step toward him, her mouth agape and eyes narrowed in confusion. Hysterically, he thought it was the same look she adopted when Professor Binns roused her from her nap to answer a question during lecture. He gulped. 

“Why on earth haven’t you said anything?!” she shrieked. He furrowed his brows and took a step closer to her. If she was going to immolate him, fine. For her he’d burn a thousand times. 

“Because I know you don’t feel the same!” He shouted frantically. “You don’t! You can’t, and you shouldn’t! I’ve been awful to you, and you deserve better!”

She held her face in her hands, exasperated and inhaling deeply, before throwing her hands up and shouting to the heavens, “Of course I feel the same!” She cried. “Merlin’s bloody balls, how thick can you get?!”

He stilled. He’s pretty sure his heart had stopped beating around the same time the air in his lungs froze over. “What?”

At his single syllable all the anger seemed to seep from her figure. She crossed her arms, the blue lightning dissipating as her chest heaved. When she spoke she was gentle, careful.

“Sebastian, did you truly not know?” Her eyes were pleading, searching his for answers he wasn’t sure he could provide.

He spluttered. She couldn’t feel the same. She didn’t…”You’ve never given any inclination. And I didn’t want to do anything untoward or unwanted…” he trailed off.

She laughed. Not a cruel, mocking sound like he probably deserved, but chiding. It wasn’t unlike the chuckles he heard from her when one of her puffskeins tried licking her when she wasn’t looking. 

“Sebastian bloody Sallow, I’ve been in love with you from the start. I don’t know how you could possibly think I don’t care for you, but please, banish the thought.” She declared softly. He suddenly realized how close they’d drifted. The red thread connecting his heart to hers always had a way of drawing them together. He looked down and she was nearly flush against his chest. Instinctively he drew his arms around her. Something sharp poked his chest and he brushed it aside. It was the necklace he’d given her. Within the gilded confines the stone glowed a deep, confident blue. A memory sparked somewhere in the back of his mind as he recalled the parchment the vendor had given him. Blue - truth.

He dropped the pendant as though it had burned him. She was telling the truth. She loved him, truly and completely, and he loved her the same. Everything he wanted was within his grasp, if only…If only he were someone more deserving. If only he were someone who could keep her safe and care for her in the ways she deserved. He looked down and her eyes were drifting closed. Just before they fluttered shut her gaze flickered to his lips. That’s funny, when had he started dipping his head toward her? His composure faltered - and good gods, no man could be strong enough for such temptation-

But he needed to be. Sebastian Sallow might not be the man she deserves, but he would be a man strong enough to keep her from making the mistake of choosing him. His eyes shot open and he pressed a gently finger to her lips. “Wait,” he whispered. She stilled and stopped. Gods, her lips were soft beneath his touch. And the way she was looking at him, with such open vulnerability, twisted the dagger he held to his own heart. She was confused, waiting for him to say something.

He released her and took a step back. And then another, and another. “We can’t. You can’t feel this way for me. I’ll only hurt you again, and you deserve better.” He broke her gaze hung his head. “So much better…”

When he looked up at her again, he almost wished he hadn’t. The tears were back, and this time her lip was trembling. He strode toward her, holding out his arms in comfort, but she held up a hand. It was trembling, and blue lightning crackled across her palm, but her voice was steady as she spoke. 

“Nobody makes my decisions for me. Nobody. You can tell me that you love me, or hate me, or anything in between. But you don’t get to stand there and tell me how I am meant to feel. If you don’t want me, then just say so. I deserve that much.”

Sebastian was truly and utterly speechless. He did want her, more than anything, but he couldn’t trust himself to keep her from harm on his behalf. He couldn’t draw her back into his arms knowing that he didn’t deserve her, but telling her that he didn’t want her? That would surely kill him. So he stood, silent, and said nothing at all.

As the seconds drew on, she seemed to take his lack of response as an answer all the same. She nodded her head once before stalking past him back to the castle, and he got one good look at the pendant as her shoulders shook with sobs. Black - anguish.

.

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.

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Bonus Author's Note: besties, no matter how much you love someone, never let anyone make your decisions for you or tell you how you feel. you are irreplacable and nobody has the right to save you for later <3

Taglist: @snickette, @findingtruenorth23, @plooloo, @paganicher, @smilesworldsposts, @snoozebun, @crazyllamasurfer, @pixie-dustss, @margottheviking, @lollife1617, @milk-barrs-blog, @somethingiswrongwithme, @bleh-stupid, @stay-gray, @mrsbrookesallow, @lostgirl-28, @kateisnotheree, @doigettokeepyou, @dreamqueenkala, @uwuitzerimpact, @neoqueen306

[justhere4kpop]

Forever

Wooyoung x Single Mom! Reader

Your life gets flipped upside down when you take a new backup dancer job at KQ Entertainment, you lied in your interview how will you get out of this one?

Genre: Mostly Fluff, Some Angst.

Warnings: (?) Angst, Mentions of cheating, self-doubt, and arguing.

w/c: 8715

a/n: Ahhh the longest one I've written so far!!! Oh god, I really hope it's good and that you guys like it, I've never written anything this long and I'm so scared to post it hahaha. I feel like even as long as it is it might feel a little rushed. I have no idea....it took me a long time to write anyways so any and all feedback is welcomed. Okay AH! Enjoy, please!

tags: @cromernet @starillusion13, @jaehunnyy (for you Chippie)

Masterlist

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Do I wake up every morning with my hair in every direction, toothpaste foaming at the mouth, a stained t-shirt and pajama pants, and a toddler crying because I can’t hold her? Not every morning…sometimes I don’t get to brush my teeth before breakfast. Today was a really important day for me though and I absolutely could not bring my screaming toddler to my first day as a backup dancer at KQ Entertainment.

“What do you think Sweet Pea? Pancakes for breakfast?” I looked at her. “How about some fruit too? Grapes, Cantaloupe?” she smiled.

“Mama!” she pointed at the plate.

“I know I know they’re coming.” I flipped the stove on and kept brushing my hair. This is what I get for letting her try to braid it last night. “I knew I should’ve prepped last night.”

Of course, the day was going to be crazy, I’m a ball of anxiety there’s no way I couldn’t be.

“Do you like the melon today? It’s in season so it should be nice.”

“Juicy.” she smiled. “I like it!” she raised it in the air.

“I’m glad, maybe I’ll get more the next time we go to the grocery store.” I ate with her and wiped her mouth when it got to be too much.

“Are you excited to hang out with grandma today?” I picked up her plate so we could go wash dishes together.

“Grandma is coming?” she looked at me.

“Yes, are you excited?” I looked down at her and pulled her step stool up since she insists she can ash her own dishes.

“Mmmmm I dunno.” she shrugged and I chuckled.

The doorbell rang.

“Hi Mom, thanks for watching her again.” I sighed opening the door a two-year-old attached to my hip. “Saja, say hi to grandma.” I nudged her and she hid behind my shoulder. My shy little girl.

“Oh still shy as ever I see. Does she talk to anyone?” my mom chuckled.

“She’ll talk to me, especially when she gets upset…she’s just nervous around people. In fact, we were just talking about you coming over.”

“Oh, how fascinating.” she smiled.

“Okay let me just show you around really quickly to make sure you know where everything is. It’s been a while since you traveled here and I really appreciate it.”

I gave her the tour around the apartment, sure it wasn’t big but it was enough to stress me out, and have trouble keeping clean. Important numbers on the fridge, obviously call me if there’s an emergency. Snacks in one cabinet, dry food in another, what she likes and doesn’t so far, what she likes to do all day, hopefully, if the weather is nice they can go to a park. I went to get ready while Saja was distracted and put my bag together.

“Where we going?” she asked and patted my bag by the front door reaching for her shoes.

“Unfortunately today Pumpkin you have to stay with grandma while Mama goes to her first day of work.” I pushed the hair out of her eyes.

“But-”her eyes gazed over. “But I wanna go.” she pouted and big tears started forming.

“It’s just like that time that mama had to drop you off at daycare for the first time sweet pea, remember how much fun that turned out to be. You met Junie, and Kiri.”

“But I no want mama go.” she hiccuped.

“I know baby, I’ll be back before you go to bed I promise. Probably even before dinner ok.” I hugged her and spun her around. “It’ll be hard today, but easy tomorrow ok? Just gotta trust me.”

“Otay.” she wiped her eyes. “Promise come back?”

“I promise. I’m not ever leaving you.” I kissed her forehead.

And so that’s how the first day of the rest of my life began. I got to KQ, nearly died from exhaustion on how much they taught us that first day, raced home to be there for my kid before she went to sleep, and did it again for months, some days it was picking her up from daycare, sometimes my mom would take care of her. Of course, I made some work friends who wanted to hang out but I couldn’t… I can’t just go drinking after practice, I have to get home to watch the new episode of Octonauts, read bedtime stories, and make sure her “homework” (coloring.) is done.

“Oh come on y/n, come out with us.” Jaeun begged.

“I-I really can’t, I have to get back home.”

“What do you have a kid or something?” he teased.

“S-Something yeah. I um…just a tight schedule and I’m trying to make ends meet.”

“Oh second job?” Eun suggested.

“It’s just important and I can’t just…I don’t really have free time. I’m sorry, I really do want to but I have so much to do…” I bowed. “Thank you really. I appreciate it every time you ask me. I’ll see you around.”

I started to leave when a voice spoke up next to me.

“Nice work today y/n.” came the calm cool voice of none other than Jung Wooyoung.

“Th-Thank you Mr.Wooyoung.” I said again with a bow.

“Maybe they can’t convince you out but could I?” he quirked an eyebrow…..Is he flirting with me?

“I’m s-sorry I really have to go.” I picked up my bag and left. Did Jung Wooyoung just talk to me….and ask me out? Are you kidding me? I can’t get…I can’t.

“Mama.” called out the small voice waiting by my front door.

“Hi baby.” I picked her up and smiled once more. “I missed you too.”

“You look upset.” my mom said looking me over.

“It’s ok Mom, maybe later.” I didn’t want to talk about it in front of Saja. “For now, let me see what you learned today?”

“Color!” she ran over to the table after I set her down and started telling me the names of the colors.

“Wow look at you my smart girl.” I smiled and looked at the drawing she made of the rainbow. “Definitely going on the fridge today.”

“Yay!” she smiled and went to pick out the magnet for the drawing.

“I got asked out for drinks again.” I sighed.

“I would’ve watched her honey, you can go.”

“It wasn’t just by my coworkers this time…it was one of my bosses….I don’t know I’ve maybe bumped into him like 3 times but I haven’t really ever had a conversation with him and I…I couldn’t say yes.”

“Why not, it’s been a while since you had a date.”

“Mom I’m not really…dating material…I have a kid and…I don’t know.”

“y/n, you should try it…just…take a chance.”

“Maybe….I’ll…I’ll think about it mom.”

“I just want you to be happy kiddo, and to not feel so alone.”

“I’m never alone…but it would be a little nice to…think about some help…Mom he doesn’t want kids! What am I even saying.” I sighed.

“This one!!!” Saja ran back in with a rainbow magnet for her rainbow drawing. “I want dis one.” she smiled.

“Okay that one it is.” I smiled and took her rainbow to hang it up. “And so now which one is your favorite color?”

“Yellow.” she smiled.

“Good choice.” I kissed her head. “Come on let’s get ready for bed.”

I got her into her yellow duckie pajamas, we washed our faces, and we brushed our teeth and read together, she’s trying new words but also told me what color each things were. My smart girl.

“Goodnight Princess.” I whispered and kissed her head leaving the room.

“y/n.” my mom called me over. “I really want you to think about having fun with your friends.”

“I will mom…I…They don’t know I have a kid and I just, I don’t know wouldn’t it just be weird I’m suddenly the mom friend.”

“Honey, you already act like a mom because you’ve always been the mom friend.”

“I just don’t want to get hurt again….I don’t want Saja to get hurt again.” I looked back at her door.

One year ago, it was raining, I’d just gotten fired from my job for falling asleep in a meeting because my good-for-nothing partner wouldn’t take care of his own child at 2am. I came home to a screaming Saja, no furniture except her bed and mine, and a letter on the counter with photos of my worst fear….he was cheating on me this whole time. At least he had the decency to leave his keys. I was so scared I called my mom and that night I did the only thing I could hold onto my screaming one-year-old and cry too. I just wanted the best for her, unplanned or not she deserved as much love as I could give her. In some small ways, she tried too, if she saw me having a bad day after I couldn’t find a job she’d offer me a snack, if I fell asleep while we were together she’d curl up next to me and stay put so I could sleep. She was truly one of the best things if not the best thing to happen to me. I just wish I could give her a good life where she doesn’t have to worry about things at 2 years old…she shouldn’t see me cry already. Now the opportunity was knocking on my door, figuratively of course…Just the prospect of a date was terrifying, could I really let someone in like that again?

Jung Wooyoung is nothing but consistent…consistently a pain in my ass, he really doesn’t quit I mean at first it was every other day he’d ask if I was busy after work, but now it’s twice a week…he won’t stop…He’s famous, he’s…he’s an idol he wouldn’t want anything to do with me if I said I had a kid. He’d leave me alone…can I really expose myself like that? What if I get fired? I really need this job…Christ, what am I going to do? Just keep saying no he’ll give up and move on. Right.

“Oh you’re just mad someone actually said no to you Wooyoungie.” San teased his best friend as he pouted at another failed date attempt.

“It’s the way she carried herself, and that she always looks after the others, I mean I’ve seen her make sure everyone has water before drinking herself, and if someone looks unwell she’s the first one to check on them.” Wooyoung groaned flailing on the couch.

“Didn’t know you had a thing for moms.” Hongjoong chuckled.

“What do you mean?”

“She’s a total mom friend making sure everyone else is taken care of.” he smiled at the younger one, rejection never looked so good on someone.

“You could’ve just dated Seonghwa if you were into that.” Mingi spoke up.

“He’s not my type.” Seonghwa flipped the page he was reading.

“No you’re not my type! I’m everyone’s type!” Wooyoung stood up flabbergasted by the thought. “Jung Wooyoung is everyone’s type.”

“Just don’t catch a harassment case.” Seonghwa sighed. “I like her a lot, she’s kind.”

How could she say no to Jung Wooyoung so many times, he’s charming, handsome, funny, super attractive, sexy, cute, hilarious, and a dance machine. Maybe he should start with…

“How about lunch?” Wooyoung smiled.

“Hmm?” I looked up at him.

“Come get lunch with me.” he nodded.

“Oh um I-”

“You never want to do anything after work so why not during, we get a long enough break, I’ll even buy for being a pain in the ass so much.”

“Really Mr. Wooyoung I’m flattered but I have my own, it’s alright.”

“You seriously have to stop calling me Mister, I’m not that old and I’m not even your boss.” he smiled. “Just have lunch with me…us really a group of us are going.”

“I……okay.” I said sheepishly thinking about how much my mom is going to yell at me for not going.

When he said group I wasn’t expecting all of Ateez to be the group. Oh god, do I look okI should really sit like Six feet away just in case there’s cameras and does my breath smell ok?

“Hi y/n!” seonghwa waved. At least he was kind….they all are I don’t know what I’m saying.

“H-Hi Seonghwa.” I flushed and waved back sitting at the small metal table with them, the chairs dragging on the floor causing the shrill sound to ring out.

“Guys this is y/n…the one rejecting Wooyoung.” he smiled.

“Okay so not cool!” Wooyoung yelled. “I finally get her to come down to lunch and you embarrass me.”

Lunch with Ateez was becoming a regular thing, every week now I’d go with Wooyoung and we’d chat and…I almost felt like another member, sure they did this with others but it felt really special…I felt special. Mom was right I do need more friends. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if I just let go and got to know Wooyoung. 

“Like a good mother.” Hwa chuckled.

I did a spit take. “Sorry! Just inhaled too much water.” I coughed and my phone started ringing. “Oh sorry I have to take this.” I got up to answer around the corner.

“Mama!” the voice came from the small face on my phone.

“Hi Pumpkin are you having fun with grandma?” I smiled.

“Grandma makes Tteokbokki like you! But not as yummy.” she smiled and held it up.

“Oh? But I learned from grandma so shouldn’t hers be better?”

“Oh now you know it was your grandmother that taught you this recipe, I can’t cook to save my life.” she chuckled.

“And who’s that?” came a voice from behind me.

“Shit!” I jumped and dropped my phone.

“y/n? y/n?” my mom spoke.

“Mama?” Saja called out.

“S-Seonghwa. I-”

“So you are an actual mom?” he smiled.

“N-No I-....I um…it’s my niece and I” I felt the anxiety creep in, I got nauseous and I could taste the bile in my throat.

“Can I see her?” he smiled and sat next to me and picked up my phone but face it away in case I said no.

“Mom I’ll call you back ok. Saja it’s ok.” I smiled lightly at the phone and hung up. “Am I fired?”

“Fired??? For what? Did you steal a water bottle too?” he smiled. “Those are free.”

“No for…for lying about not having a kid.”

“It doesn’t matter that you have a kid pabo.” he picked my face up. “Why’d you hide it?”

“I really needed the job, it’s just me providing and…I didn’t want to be turned down because I have a daughter.”

“I see…y/n you were hired because you are insanely talented and can dance circles around any of those guys, mom or not. I think they wouldn’t have been making you stay so late if they knew, it’s important to be there for a child too.”

“I really need this job Seonghwa.” I felt the tears fall.

“You’re not losing your job honey I promise. It’ll stay between us….only if you let me say hi.” he smiled.

“I…” I picked my phone up and called my mom back. “Hi Mom, um…sorry my um…my boss scared me and he…yeah.” I nervously handed Seonghwa the phone.

“Oh that’s not who I wanted to say hi to hi Mrs. (l/n) you’re very lovely, I wanted to meet y/n jr. though.”

“Oh Saja, come say hi to Mister??”

“Seonghwa.” he smiled waiting for the small child.

“Hi.” Saja said smally as my mom came down to her level with the phone. “Mama??”

“I’m here sweet pea.” I called and peeked over Seonghwa’s shoulder. “Hi baby, what’d you have for lunch?”

“Potatoe.” she said getting quite shy at the man looking at her.

“And?” my mom prompted. “We tried pajeon, and Kimchi for the first time.”

“Kimchi?” Seonghwa smiled, “how exciting. Did you like it?”

“Spicy.” she frowned.

“Maybe we’ll try radish Kimchi she likes crunchy things.” I nodded. “I should get back to my own lunch honey, anything you want to say to Mr. Seonghwa?”

“......pretty.” she blushed looking away from the phone.

I think Seonghwa short-circuited he nearly dropped my phone.

“I’ll be home after work okay, be good for grandma, bye mom, thank you.” I smiled softly and hung up. “Mr.Seonghwa?”

“You really are ana amazing person.” he smiled and hugged me. “Next time we’re meeting in person.”

“Wouldn’t that be unprofessional?” I questioned.

“I don’t care that little ray of sunshine is getting spoiled by her uncle Seonghwa now.” he smiled.

If Seonghwa could’ve felt the eyes burning into the back of his head at the glare Wooyoung was sending the older man he’d probably be dead. I on the other hand couldn’t process what just happened…everything felt so strange, letting Seonghwa in on my secret…I wasn’t sure I liked it but it was…nice to let something out.

“And what were you two talking about?” Wooyoung questioned as we sat back down.

“Nothing, I was just making sure she was ok.” Seonghwa shrugged like nothing happened.

“Sorry just a weird phone call. I’m okay.” I nodded and looked down at my lunch.

“Aww cute!” Wooyoung pointed out the note Saja had wrote for me. “Where’d you get that.”

“Must’ve came with the wrap, I didn’t notice.” I looked at the scribbles that I’m sure were supposed to be words but what really made me tear up was the heart, it was mishapen and wobbly but it was her.

“Hey? Are you sure you’re okay?” Wooyoung lifted my chin up before the tear hit the paper.

“Yes, I’m ok.” I looked at him and blushed a bright red.

“Promise?” he held out a pinky for me. Saja does the same….

“Promise.” I whispered and let a few tears fall.

That’s where my relationship with Wooyoung took a turn. I noticed the small things at first…the little notes in my bag, the heart on my water bottle, and getting me lunch, or a snack, he always came to talk to me during breaks, and we always sat next to each other if we could during things, bus rides to venues for performances, meetings, anything. It all felt so nice. I felt…happy. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to give him a chance…even just one. 

“Hi cutie!” Wooyoung yelled over the phone as I answered.

“Hi Woo.” I smiled lightly at the phone and walked out to the little patio I had.

“Why so quiet?” he questioned.

“No reason. Just enjoying the peace.” I had just put Saja down and I didn’t want to risk her waking up.

“Listen I was thinking-”

“Isn’t that a dangerous game.” I chuckled cutting him off.

“Come to dinner with me?” he smiled. “Please?”

“I-”

“Before you say no! Just…one chance, look I know you said your ex was terrible and left you with nothing but I just…y/n you’re great, and smart, and wonderful, and beautiful, and…and amazing…please…just one date so I can stop my terrible attempts at flirting. I’m running out of pick-up lines to use on you.”

“Wooyoung I….”I looked back at the apartment and a cool breeze wrapped around me sending a shiver down my spine. It would be nicer to try having someone else around. Was I ready for him to know everything? “Dinner sounds nice. Maybe Friday?”

“Friday.” he smiled, you could hear the grin. The wonderful grin followed by his melodic giggle. 

Maybe we can try again…maybe this time won’t hurt so bad. Maybe he’d stay.

You’re getting too ahead of yourself y/n. Just one dinner, and maybe it’ll be okay from there, just take it one day at a time.

Friday came quicker than I’d like and I still had no idea what to wear, what to do, all I knew was my mom was excited and I felt like I was going to throw up again.

“You know Saja likes watching him perform onstage, she says he moves the most like water.” my mom smiled. “She gets so happy seeing you on the tv.”

“I know…she asks to watch a performance before we go to bed usually.”

“Aren’t you excited?”

“No…I mean I am but, god this could go horribly wrong.”

“But it won’t, I’ve seen the little notes, you have this boy smitten like he’s a teenager.” she chuckled.

“Yeah but eventually I’m going to have to tell him about Her.” I motioned to my daughter.

“How do you know he doesn’t like kids?”

“I didn’t say that, but he has been thinking I’m just some poor single woman this whole time Mom, and I don’t know how to bring that up, Oh hi by the way I’ve been lying to you for 4 months, and actually have a two-year-old, hope that doesn’t change anything.” I groaned and pulled on the black cocktail dress I had picked out.

“Honey, I don’t think it will…you trusted Seonghwa with saying hello.”

“That was over the phone and this is different mom…this is a…potential love interest, you know a maybe boyfriend, Seonghwa is no more than a potential babysitter and even that’s a maybe.”

“I think you should let some people in…it’ll be good for you to have more than just me for her. Also I have plans for tonight”

“I know you’re right mom I just…. MOM!!! And you didn’t tell me!” I groaned and picked up my phone. “Fine.”

“Just giving you an extra push dear.”

“You are…I swear!” I hit dial.

“Hello?” the voice on the other end of my phone croaked out.

“Hey, could you…do me a favor.” I sighed.

“So you want me to meet your daughter, and babysit her while you go on a date with Wooyoung?” Seonghwa questioned me as I stood with him in the hallway.

“Yes…because my mom forced this…”

“How so.”

“She ‘made plans’ or whatever so now I need a babysitter or I have to tell Wooyoung I’ve been lying this whole time.” I sighed.

“Hey hey okay, I’ll do it.”

“I figured since you brought a goodie basket.” I eyed the stuffed animal behind him. “Saja.” I called out coming back inside. “Come meet Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa could barely contain himself waiting to meet my two year old.

“Mama?” Saja hid around the corner.

“Hey sweet pea, it’s okay…remember him, he’s from the tv.” I held out my hand for her and she walked over to hide behind me.

“Hi Saja.” Seonghwa said calmly and in a quiet tone getting down to her level. “I’m Seonghwa, I work with your mama, remember we talk on the phone.”

“....pretty.” she blushed.

“She remembers.” I pat her head. “Why don’t you show Mr.Seonghwa the painting you did.” she nodded and ran to go get her newest art piece and came back over, she stopped and looked between me and him before taking a cautious step forward. 

“Oh my goodness, look at this.” he smiled. “Okay let’s see….a cat?” she nodded. “Wow what a beautiful cat. What’s his name?”

“Rainbow.” she said quietly.

“Rainbow? What a perfect name.” he smiled. “And is mama going to hang it up?” he looked up at me.

“Yes” she smiled and ran off to find the magnet.

“She likes you, I promise, she’s just shy at first.” I breathed. “I have to get going I don’t…want to be late.” I looked at her in the kitchen.

“I promise nothing bad will happen.” Seonghwa tried reassuring me.

“Last time I left her alone with a man he took everything and left.” I brushed him off and grabbed my things.

“Y/n” Seonghwa placed a hand on my shoulder and I tensed up. “I understand, but you deserve some help, and some fun.”

“She’s all I have Seonghwa.”

“Y/n I promise she’s in great care, I wouldn’t dream of hurting either of you.”

I sighed. “Saja. Come give mama a hug please?” she came running over with a new magnet for her cat drawing.

“Where go?” she questioned holding her arms up for a hug.

“Mama is going to go see a friend because she really likes this friend ok? It’s called a date.”

“Date?” she questioned more.

“See when two adults, like mama and her friend like each other more than just friends, which is a very complicated feeling to understand even for adults, they go out to do things together, like eat dinner or watch a movie.”

“Why?”

“To see if they like each other’s company more than other people.” I smiled. “However no one’s company is better than yours sweet pea.” I kissed her nose. “So you stay here and play with Seonghwa and Mama will be back later, like when you stay with Grandma.”

“Are we go on a date too?” she whispered.

“Sure.” I smiled and she was blushing as I put her down. “Have fun okay?”

“Yes ma’am.” Seonghwa smiled and Saja walked back over to her table.

My phone dinged again and I made my way out and downstairs to Wooyoung and his very expensive car.

“Didn’t know you could drive.” I raised an eyebrow,

“Very recent, you look beautiful” he smiled.

“Thank you.” I blushed and he opened the car door for me. “Not so shabby yourself sir.”

“Thank you.” he smiled and closed the door gently and mumbled to himself he told me what he said later was “Wow she looks beautiful.” however I think  “okay rizz master Wooyoung, you gotta work.” sounds more like what he actually said…don’t let him tell you otherwise.

“So I was just thinking a quiet dinner without all the noise from the guys and maybe a walk?” he smiled.

“Sure, I’m just along for the ride.” I nodded. “It’s been a while since I’ve done this so you’re going to have to carry me along.”

“Don’t worry I’ve got you.” he smiled.

Throughout the course of dinner I learned that work Wooyoung, friend Wooyoung, and date Wooyoung are three very different people. He seems different.

“Yeah no order whatever you like.” he smiled and gestured to the menu.

“I’m not used to this kind of stuff.” its usually chicken nuggets and mac and cheese…why am I suddenly craving it…or pizza, I could so go for a pizza right now.

“Well only the best for you.” he smiled nervously. “How am I going to pay for this?!” he thought to himself.

“Right.” I swallowed nervously and looked at the menu. There aren’t even prices listed. “Wooyoung?” I looked up at him over the menu.

“Hmm? Yes, oh did you have a question?”

“Have you ever eaten here before?”

“Oh yeah loads of times!” why am I lying??” 

“What do you recommend?” I blushed a little, I knew he made good money but…I don’t know this seems a bit much.

“Well there’s the uh Hakarl.” he said and pointed. “That’s good and then the Bird’s Nest Soup.” he nodded.

“Oh okay. Why don’t you pick for me, I mean I want whatever you’re having.” I shrugged. He knew what he was talking about.

“I don’t have a clue what I’m saying! What did I even recommend!” he yelled at himself.

When the waiter came back he ordered for us and we left it at that, I finished my glass of wine and looked around at some of the dishes…they all looked interesting…to be kind…I don’t know if I can do this.

“Um excuse me.” I pulled a waiter aside and asked about the dish he had just served. “What did she order?”

“Ah that ma’am is the Bird’s Nest Soup” he smiled. “You see the saliva turns hard-”

“Thank you.” I interrupted and turned back to Wooyoung. Saliva? “Wooyo-”“Y/n” we both said at the same time.

“You go first.” he gestured.

“Wooyoung I really appreciate this but I…I can’t do this…this food is…it’s way too much for me.”

He sighed….here it comes.

“Thank god.” he breathed out. “I really didn’t want to find out what the other thing I ordered is.”

“Can’t we just go get a slice of pizza? Like normal?” I looked down at my hands.

“Please.” he stood up and walked over to our waiter talking to him before handing over his company card and explaining everything. “Let’s go before they bring it out.”

I nodded.

What started off horrible and scary turned into something magic, we found a place by the park close to my apartment and got three sliced of whatever pizza sounded good and just sat in the park. Much more my speed, much more…relaxed.

“I just wanted to impress you.” Wooyoung looks down at the slice of pizza in his lap. “I thought…maybe you’d like it if I took you somewhere special.”

“Who says Pizza isn’t special?” I looked at him but his eyes were turned down to the ground. “Woo?”

“I just….I really like you, especially the more I’ve gotten to know you, you’re kind, and gentle, and just…you’re absolutely wonderful y/n and I really fucked this up tonight.”

“Hey.” I nudged him. “Hey” I said a little more sternly and lifted his chin up to meet his gaze. “I’m still here aren’t I?....I appreciate that you think I deserve some fancy restaurant where we sit 10 feet away from each other and the menus don’t have prices and we’re waited on hand and foot, but…that’s not my speed. I prefer picnics and pizza and bullet train sushi and…fried chicken, and mac and cheese, and stupid little fruit cups.” I smiled at him. “I like it when we have lunch together and we eat ramen or tteokbokki, or even rabokki!”

“I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for Wooyoung.” I kissed his cheek. “I’m having a great time eating pizza in my favorite park with my second favorite person on the planet.”

“Who’s the first?”

“No one you need to worry about.” I chuckled and blushed.

“Ahhh your mom then.” he smiled. “Thank you…for not letting me feel like I completely fucked this up.”

“Quite the contrary, you’ve shown me that I really mean something to you…I mean that place was faannncyyyy.”

“You do mean something to me.” he looked into my eyes and there was that intensity that he had when he was dancing. The look of “I’m doing this and no one can stop me.”

“Thank you.” I rubbed his cheek.

You know how it goes, he walked me home, I got the third degree from my mom on how it went…except Seonghwa joined in, I tucked my two year old into bed and then…I had a full moment in bed in my pajamas where I squealed and kicked my legs and just…he kissed my cheek and held my hand and and and…pizza. Yeah. I could…I could get used to having Wooyoung.

It was just like any other day, it was warm and sunny, Wooyoung wanted to go out on a date and we decided another park date, kimbap which of course he made, in fact he made all of the food we ate, mandu, rolled omelet, potato salad, some pajeon, and finally because this obviously isn’t enough food for two people he also made my favorite cucumber salad . I really am one special girl. 

“Woo this is too much.” I chuckled looking over at him as he kept bringing out more food.

“Nonsense, you’ll love this.” he smiles but you can tell there’s something bothering him.

“Are you ok?” I looked at him his face tight.

“Yeah, no it’s..it’s nothing I’m fine.” he nodded but he seemed more in his own head now.

“How about next time I’ll make the kimbap? I’ve been told I make it pretty good.” I smiled trying to lighten the mood.

Sure everything was going well, I really like him but I don’t know he seems a little distant recently and I can tell something is bothering him. I…

“Woo?” I said putting down my things. “You know we can talk about things right?”

“I….y/n…I….” he started and closed his mouth a few times. “What’s your relationship with Seonghwa?”

“Seonghwa? I don’t know…friends I guess. I mean I can certainly feel safe around him.” I looked at him confused.

“I know…what I’m about to say is…I know…Are you…Are you cheating on me?”

“What no?!” I looked at him incredulously. “Cheating?? Wooyoung I would-”

“Then why is it that you drop everything when he calls?” he looked at me getting a little teary eyed. “Why is it that when he calls you leave the room? Hmm? What private conversation can’t Wooyoung hear?” he was getting upset.

“Wooyoung it’s not like that-” I started.

“Well then how is it y/n! Because it certainly seems like you two aren’t just friends!”

“Woo please listen to me.” I said my voice quivering a bit. “Please take a breath and listen.”

“Then start explaining…I thought it was me and only me.”

“It is!”

“I saw you together!!” he stood up angrily.

“He’s just my friend Wooyoung I swear nothing more!” I looked at him, my own tears blurring my vision. “Wooyoung I would never cheat on you I swear, please just listen to me!”

“So you can lie about-”

“Mama?” a small voice called out. 

Fuck.

“S-Saja!” Seonghwa’s voice called out.

“Seonghwa?” Wooyoung looked over at his friends familiar voice. “What are you doing with a child?”

“Mama!” Saja threw herself into my arms hugging me tightly. “Hi!”

“H-Hi sweet pea.” I looked at her and moved her hair lightly, I could feel Wooyoung looking at the scene before him. “Wooyoung, this is Saja…my…daughter.”

“Daughter? Are you two-?”

“No! Wooyoung I’m just…I just babysit while you two go out.” Seonghwa looked at him.

“Is she yours?” Wooyoung looked at the child and then back to Seonghwa.

“No.” I said and held her closer. “She’s my ex’s…he left…Seonghwa just…he found out I had her and I needed someone to look after her because I really wanted to go out with you but I…” I felt like I could throw up.

“Wooyoung did…I wouldn’t do something like that to you.” Seonghwa looked at the younger male, anger burning behind his pupils.

Wooyoung looked between us grabbing his things.

“Wooyoung, don’t leave…you’ll regret it if you do.” Seonghwa warned the younger male. I covered Saja’s ears.

“Well what was he supposed to think Seonghwa…afterall I drop everything when you call, I go to you when I don’t know what to do, I call you late at night because she’s crying.” I shrugged. “I would think the same….Maybe I should go.” I moved to get up but Wooyoung stopped me before I could get further.

“No.” he looked at the blanket. “Don’t.”

“Saja why don’t you and Hwa go play.” I looked at her and kissed her forehead.

“Hwa Hwa!!! You It!” she got up and ran away.

Wooyoung sat back down and folded his hands together in front of me.

“Wooyoung I…This isn’t how I wanted it to go.” I looked away from him. “I promise there is nothing go on between us other than he’s my babysitter…I think of him as my older brother honestly. I have feelings for you and you only.”

He stayed quiet before nodding and looking over at Seonghwa and Saja playing.

“Why’d you lie y/n? About…her?”

“No one would hire a single mom…I needed the money before she got kicked out of preschool and we lost our apartment so I begged my mom to come help take care of her just until I had enough that I could come clean about it.”

“We have plenty of parents I don’t understand.” he looked at me.

“By the time I finally got to KQ I had been turned down so many times I-I-I panicked it was the only thing I could think of and I was desperate and they..you were all so kind and I-” tears rushed down my face. “And then you showed up and everyone else and then Seonghwa found out and I got scared and you kept asking me out and making me smile and…this isn’t how I wanted you to meet. I wanted you to meet her please.”

He stayed quiet and I wiped my face, before I knew it he brought me into him and rubbed my back.

“I really have made an ass out of myself haven’t I?” he whispered into my hair.

“I understand where you’re coming from though Woo really.” I held onto him.

“Tell me everything.” he asked

I told him our backstory, how my ex left, cheated, basically robbed me, how Hwa found out, I told him what I could and he listened.

“I’d really like to meet her if you let me.” he picked up my face and cupped my cheek. “I promise I’ll listen better.”

“Woo it’s not your fault, what were you supposed to think.”

“That my girlfriend wouldn’t cheat on me.” he squeezed me a little. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too…..I’d really like for you to meet her.” I looked at him. “This isn’t how I wanted you to find out.”

“Whenever you’re ready.” he brushed my hair back often like I do for Saja. “Some times…things work out differently than we want them to.”

“Are you still mad?” I asked.

“I’m still….trying to figure out why.” he sighed. “It makes sense but…I just…I.”

“You can be upset Wooyoung, its a big thing I hid from you.” I shied away from him.”Does it change how you feel about me?”

“I don’t know…maybe? I….I mean-” he looked up at me and I knew he could see it, the heartbreak on my face, I never was good at hiding it. “No baby I-”

“No…no it’s fine Wooyoung…” I moved off him. “I wouldn’t…” I stood up and turned away from him. “I wouldn’t feel the same about me either, it’s probably why I got rejected from everything else.” probably even why he left in the first place. “We’ll just go.”

“No baby, stay. We can have lunch, I’m sorry.” Wooyoung pleaded.

“Mama? Can I has water?” Saja came over tired from playing.

“Here!” Wooyoung jumped up and opened a bottle for her. “I made all this food would you like a snack?”

She looked at me and I nodded and we sat back down only this time apart.

“Y/n.” Seonghwa looked at me.

“It’s nothing.” I turned away from both of them to pay attention to my daughter. “It’s just me and Saja.”

Seonghwa looked over at Wooyoung who looked down at the blanket and pushed food over to us before looking to Seonghwa and away again.

“Saja what do you say?”

“Gram…Sa…Ham…Mama what was it?” she looked at me. “Oh! Hamyida!”

“Good.” I chuckled and wiped her face. “We’ll get going now, thanks for running into us Seonghwa…It was nice to meet you.” I got up and helped Saja up before starting our walk home.

“Mommy?” Saja looked up at me.

“Yes sweet pea?” I stopped.

“Why you look sad?”

“Oh don’t worry angel, I’m okay. I just really thought it’d turn out different.”

“Like what?” she questioned. Every the curious two year old.

“It’s nothing you need to worry about Saja.” I picked her up.

“Can we play with Hwa Hwa tomorrow too?” she yawned.

“I’ll ask him later baby. Let’s get you home.”

I got her home, and of course, she was asleep on me when we walked in. I put her down and sat by her bed, I couldn’t stop the tears that came down my face. I thought everything would work out this time, I thought that maybe…maybe one day he’d be here too…maybe she’d go to sleep and we’d stay up and watch a movie together, maybe we’d play games, or have friends over, or…it was always too much to ask. Too much for me to be happy. Not even a text when I walked through the door. Was this really over?......I’ll turn in my resignation on Monday. 

Monday came and went but my computer screen remained blank, I didn’t want to write a resignation letter it’s only been a few months but, I loved my job, I loved the guys, my friends….I loved him. I called in sick I just couldn’t see him, of course by now Seonghwa and Wooyoung had told CEO Kim who asked if there was anything he could do, if Saja was sick or anything. No. There was nothing anyone could do.

“Mama again!” Saja called out pointing to the finished episode of Paw Patrol. I replayed it for her and pulled myself into the chair more, staring at the blank document.

“Saja I’m going to the potty, don’t answer the door like usual ok?”

“Otay!” she smiled and sang along to the theme song.

I just wanted to splash some cold water on my face, something to get it out of my system.

“Hi!” I heard Saja yell from the living room.

“Saja? I told you-”

“Hwa Hwa!!!” she screamed and I ran out to see two men standing in my now open doorway.

“Sorry, I used the spare key.” Seonghwa flushed and spun Saja upside down.

“Why are you here?” I stood there wanting to grab my child from them.

“Baby I’m sorry.” Wooyoung pleaded. “Please can we talk.”

“No, it’s fine. You don’t need to apologize.”

“I do. Please.”

I pushed him out into the hallway and closed the door.

“Wooyoung you shouldn’t…you made it clear how you felt.” I looked away from him.

“No I didn’t because that wasn’t how I felt. That isn’t how I feel y/n.”

“Then how do you feel, because I think “I don’t know if they changed” after that means anything different but it-”

“It didn’t change how I felt okay! I…I panicked…I freaked out because I…You have a kid and sure I love little kids, I love Kyungmin, I love babysitting, and I love playing dress up and tag and…I really love them you know I do, but…it was scary. I no longer had to impress just you I’d have to impress your daughter, I’d have to figure out how to…be a good role model and…take care of her and I’m just a cool uncle or big brother I’ve never had to…be a parent.”

“You’re not her parent Wooyoung.” I crossed my arms. “And how do you think I’m going to feel! We Slept-” I quieted down. “You were the first person I’ve slept with since I had her and you just……..I’m her parent Wooyoung.”

“Yes but we’re dating, so that means I need to be there for her too, because you don’t just date the one person, that’s the most important person in your life I can’t just…I have to be a good example. None of it changed how I felt about you, after you two left I just wanted to do it all over again, I wanted to ask you on a picnic and play tag and push her on the swings and..please believe me y/n, I want to try again. I feel so stupid ok, I have real genuine feelings for you and I hurt you I know I did, I just…one more chance baby please. I’m sorry y/n please. I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life apologizing if you just give me one chance to make it up to you.”

I sighed. “It’s not up to just me Woo….give me two seconds.” I walked back inside and he stayed in the hallway. “Saja?”

“Hi mommy!” she called out from the couch where she was giving Seonghwa a makeover. “Princess Hwa Hwa.” she smiled.

“Oh how lovely.” I smiled and looked at Hwa…I need a photo. “One photo so we can remember your masterpiece?”

“You can take ONE photo. Make it count.” Seonghwa looked at me and I took a photo of him and Saja.

“Saja honey?” I came down to her level. “Would you like to meet mommy’s friend from the other day? The one with all the food.”

“Yeah!” she smiled. “The one mommy likes!”

“Yes, the one mommy likes.” I smiled. “Come on.”

I carried her to the door and took a breath, everything was going to change once I opened this door.

“Ready!” she called out. Ok.

I opened the door half expecting Wooyoung to dart…thank god he was still there when I opened my eyes.

“Saja, this is Wooyoung.” I looked at him. “Wooyoung this is my daughter, Saja.”

“Hi!” she smiled and waved.

“Hello Saja.” he smiled back. “It’s very nice to meet you.” He pulled a flower out from behind his back.

“Where did you-?” I looked at him.

“Flower!” she smiled and took it. “Mommy likes a maggisin!”

“Would you like to come in for coffee.” I looked at him.

“I would love to.” he smiled

This was it, Wooyoung was entering my life, he was seeing the real me and my daughter. I set Saja down to go play with Seonghwa but she stayed and talked to Wooyoung, she showed him all the pictures she drew and all the things she did for pre-school, he smiled and listened the whole time. He helped with a snack since she was getting hungry and he even let her do his hair, and for once in the past 7 months I’ve known him, I could finally breathe. It felt as though a weight has been taken off my chest and I could actually let him see me, the real me. It felt good. It felt so fucking good.

Wooyoung is a wonderful partner, truly. Saja loves him, she’s started calling him every night before bed if he isn’t here to tuck her in, she likes to tell him about her day, he plans dates with all three of us and sometimes even just the two of us, the guys have slowly been introduced to her and they all claim to be her favorite uncle (we all know its Seonghwa). Wooyoung has been maybe slowly moving in slightly, his stuff appears more and more, and what do you know he’s usually attached to it, and now, almost a year later her birthday was coming up and I had no idea what to do.

“Okay I know it her birthday but I was thinking we could bring her to work and surprise the guys for a birthday party?” he rubbed my cheek, the soft sunlight drifting in for the morning.

“She would like it, especially if San and Hwa were there, and Mingi, she likes being tall.” I kissed the palm of his hand.

“I’m sorry.” he said and looked at me fondly.

“For what?” I questioned.

“For everything. For being ignorant, and stupid. For-”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing for that.” I held his wrist gently.

“I told you I’m apologizing for it every day.” he kissed my nose.

“Good Morning!” Saja called out and climbed into the bed and on top of Wooyoung. “Wooyoungie!”

“Hi Princess good morning.” he smiled and kissed her head. “Did you sleep well?”

“From the looks of her bed head I’d say so.��� I chuckled.

“Well I better get those pigtails back in before Hwa Hwa sees you then hmm?” Wooyoung lifted her up and got up to go to the bathroom with her.

“Woo?” he turned around. “It’s a great idea.” I smiled. He smiled back and nodded.

As I made breakfast Wooyoung made sure they got their morning ritual done, you always have to dance in the morning if you want your day to go well according to him. Saja likes spending time with him and frankly, this past year it’s been so nice to not feel like a single parent.

“Okay and 1,2,...3 and 4. Good! Okay Okay. shh shh.” Wooyoung spoke. “Eomma!!” he called out.

“Yes?” I peaked around the corner.

“Saja wants to show you something.” he smiled and nodded for her.

He started playing the music to Case 143, the chorus specifically and she looked like she was going to do it but then turned to Wooyoung and looked scared.

“I can’t” she whispered. He stopped the music and got down to her level.

“Hey hey what’s wrong princess?” he scooped her up.

“I can’t do it.” she sniffled.

“Of course you can.” he smiled. “You practiced hard with me while eomma was busy.”

“Too hard.” she looked away from him.

“I think she’s just nervous to do it alone Woo.” I looked at him and gave him a small smile.

“Do you want me to do it with you princess?” he pushed her hair back.

“Want Youngie do it too.” she whispered to him.

“Wooyoungie will do it too.” he nodded. “Okay? Together?” this time it was her turn to nod.

He started the music over and set her down.

She looked at him as they started and even though she was shy she saw him do it and knew he meant it when he said he’d do it with her. It gave her the boost she needed to do it too. Before my eyes here she was trying her best to dance along to Case 143 by Stray Kids and for an almost 3-year-old, she did a great job.

“Oh sweet pea that was amazing!!” I scooped her up and kissed her face. “Such a good dancer.” I smiled.

“Like Appa!” she smiled and pointed to Woo. I stumbled a little.

“O-Okay breakfast time.” Wooyoung clapped and took Saja and sat at the table to eat breakfast. “Baby? Come eat ok?”

“Y-Yeah.”

We’d talk about it…after breakfast.

“I’m sorry.” Wooyoung confessed. “She started calling me that last week when I was watching her when you had to stay late with Yunho and I didn’t correct it but she knew you would be scared if you heard and-”

“Is that what you want?” I looked at him. “Is this what you want? You know you can’t leave if she starts calling you that.”

“You are what I want y/n. Nothing else. Just this.” he nodded, I’ve never seen him look so serious. “I may be young and handsome, but I-I I can be a dad too.”

“Are you sure?” I held his hand and he gave me a firm squeeze.

“I’m sure.” he nodded.

“Of course you taught her how to dance.” I wiped my face and chuckled.

“She’s got quite a talent, I think she picked it up from her mom.” he smiled and kissed my cheek. “I’m not going anywhere..in fact, I was waiting until her birthday but…Maybe it’s time I…move in?”

“And what else could you possibly bring over…You already live here.” I smiled and kissed him.

“I have some other things.” he chuckled and kissed me back.

“I love you Jung Wooyoung.” I smiled and held onto him.

“And I love you l/n f/n.” he smiled back and held my hips.

Do I wake up every morning with my hair in every direction, toothpaste foaming at the mouth, a stained t-shirt and pajama pants, and a toddler crying because I can’t hold her? Not every morning…sometimes I wake up in the arms of my loving boyfriend, sometimes with no clothes, and sometimes I wake up to the sight of my daughter getting ready for the day with her two favorite people, I see a smile on her face as her appa cries dropping her off for school, I see the joy on her face when the guys come over and San talks to her about her day, I see my daughter being surrounded by more love than I could ever ask for. Surrounded by her 7 uncles and her appa, better than I could’ve asked for. 

Sometimes I wake up to the biggest smile I could ever see, more radiant than the sun, and I know this is all real. Wooyoung is real, and he’s here Forever.

[xunandran]

Home (Firepilot/Queerplatonic Polyfire)

Got thinking about one of my recent posts, and an idea just nagged at me. so here you go, some Firepilot/queerplatonic Polyfire fluff.

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Home (837 words)

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Sometimes, the job sucked. Sometimes it took you away from the ones you loved for far too long. This had been such a time. After spending the last week holed up in a tent in the California mountains as part of a wildfire response team, Tommy was happy to be back in Los Angeles proper. He’d be even happier once he was in his own bed rather than a cot with twenty snoring firefighters. One was enough for him, and he couldn’t wait to see him. 

He turned off his headlights before pulling into the drive to Eddie’s house. As expected, Buck’s Jeep was parked alongside Eddie’s truck. He shut off the engine and hopped out of his own truck. The house was dark, save for a flickering from the living room windows. He checked the time, 11:24pm. He had hoped to make better time. Couldn’t be helped. 

He thumbed through his ever expanding keyring. Car. His. Buck’s. Eddie’s. It had felt strange adding the last key to the jumpring, but Eddie had insisted. 

“Buck trusts you, and I trust you,” he had said all those months ago. 

He slid the key in the lock and pulled the door open. The flickering he witnessed from outside was from Eddie’s TV. More accurately, it was from the looping menu screen of a DVD playing on Eddie’s TV. 

Love Actually.

Tommy smiled fondly as he quietly pushed the door closed, not that the door would be heard over Buck’s snoring from what he presumed was the couch. As he rounded into the living room, the sight before him brought the tenderest of smiles to his lips. He pulled his phone from his pocket and quietly snapped a few photos to capture the memory. 

Eddie leaned against the end of the couch, one arm draped over the side, the other wrapped around Buck, who was currently passed out, curled up on the couch like a cat, head in Eddie’s lap. A string of drool glistened along his lips and his cheek, pooling in a dark stain on Eddie’s jeans. Somehow, possibly due to how lanky he was, Christopher had found enough room to join the snuggle pile, and he leaned against Buck, his sleeping slack mouthed face a near carbon copy of his father’s. 

The coffee table had two beer bottles, a juice box, an empty pizza box and a half-filled bowl of popcorn. 

“Eddie.” Tommy was quiet as he lightly tapped on the man’s shoulder to wake him.

Warm brown eyes fluttered opened tiredly, first one, then the other. “Tommy?”

“I came by for Evan,” Tommy whispered, kneeling at the outside of the arm of the couch Eddie was leaning against. 

The other man yawned and looked across the couch at the two forms sprawled over him. “Good luck with that,” he said with a sleepy, sincere grin. “Buck’s a bear to wake up. I’d help but…” He gestured to the current situation. 

“I’m aware.” Tommy’s laugh caused Buck to stir in Eddie’s lap, but he didn’t wake up. “Let me get Christopher to bed for you first. Do we need to wake him to brush his teeth?” Tommy lifted Christopher off of Buck and carefully draped the teen against his chest. Christopher fidgeted briefly before settling against Tommy’s strong form. 

“Probably, but he’s just been to the dentist. I’ll make sure he brushes extra long tomorrow morning. Would rather not deal with two grouches.” While Tommy carried Christopher to his room, Eddie lightly jostled Buck’s shoulder. “Wake up, sleepyhead. Tommy’s home.”

Buck groaned and snuggled in deeper, an endearing sight. “Tommy…” he muttered, as if the word had filtered through into whatever dreamscape he currently found himself. Even in sleep, the mention of the other man’s name twisted his lips into the smallest of fond smiles. 

Tommy wandered back in from the back hall. “Package secured.” He smiled down at Buck, who was still just as asleep as when he left. “What about this one?”

“Out like a light,” Eddie mused, stretching as much as he was able to with Buck’s head in his lap. “Why don’t you two take my bed. No sense in trying to pour him into your truck tonight.” 

“Are you sure, Eddie?” Tommy had already started gathering the empty bottles and the box of pizza to relocate them to the kitchen. “I don’t want to put you out.”

“I’m sure. Just bring me the pillow and spare blanket from that closet over there.” 

Tommy moved the empties and retrieved the blanket and pillow, setting them on the coffee table. “Okay, Evan. Let’s get you to bed.” He scooped up the other man, barely needing to exert himself to lift almost two hundred pounds of sleeping muscle. Eddie stretched his released legs and curled up on the couch and pulled the blanket over him, mimicking Buck only moments ago. “Thanks for looking out for him, Eddie.”

“Always,” Eddie said with a yawn as he settled in. “I’m glad you’re home, Tommy. Sleep well.”

[mossy-thing]

I posted the second chapter! Read it here or on ao3.

Chapter 1; chapter 3

And why it was Tomorrow came (and with his grey hand led us back)

Chapter 2

Important tags: off screen violence, children in dangerous situations, kidnap fam, murder of orcs (probably. Just don't think too hard on it), implied food rationing

Summary: In which Elrond wakes up, Elros is a little gremlin horder, and I have far too much fun writing their bickering until I remember what my plot was supposed to be.

“What’s going on,” Elrond slurred as he was pulled into a sitting position, still half in the dream, half feeling the sand between his toes, but in a matter of seconds, it was gone. It was loud outside, he realized suddenly, and frowned as he wondered why it hadn’t woken him.

“Get up.”

Maedhros had already moved on to his brother on the other side of the narrow room to shake him before Elrond even had the chance to open his eyes properly, but glancing at him now confirmed that he was wearing his armor. He had been confused, but now he was alarmed, throwing the threadbare blanket back. He felt the cold floor beneath his bare feet before he realized he was standing. “Are we under attack?” 

He reached for his dagger under the pillow, holding onto it tightly just as he had wished he could have in the dream as the noise he could hear fell into place. Shouting. Marching. It was still a bit away, but he was sure that whoever they were, they would reach their little tower soon. Had a light alarmed them of their presence? He hoped they were only orcs.

“Yes. Put on your shoes, and a coat. There’s no time for anything else.”

When Elrond and Elros had been younger, Elrond remembered numbly while stepping into his shoes, they had sometimes wondered what it would be like to be attacked by other elves. To be stolen back, and brought to some distant kinsmen, who would raise them far away from battles and wars, dragons and kinslayers. They had told each other stories without uttering a single word, staring into the other’s eyes under a shared blanket. Elros was reaching out to him now, like that, as soon as he woke up, and for a moment, Elrond saw Maedhros’ grim eyes in place of the clasp of the cloak he was struggling to close with one hand.

Maedhros left the room. He was probably standing in front of the door, his sword drawn, guarding the children his brother was so fond of until they were ready to be hidden away safely. Maglor would be outside, then, preparing himself to fight. Elrond hoped whatever little place Maedhros would find to lock them in until danger had passed would be soundproof enough that Maglors singing wouldn’t be ringing in his ears for days like it had done in their last shelter. 

Elros took his hand when he had fastened his own cloak, and they knocked at the door. Maedhros opened it and left without throwing even a glance their way. They followed him, taking three steps for one of his. 

At least he isn’t throwing us over his shoulders anymore, Elros thought, shooting him a tired smile, and Elrond smiled back. Luckily, they had grown big enough some time ago that Maedhros had the excuse not to carry them anymore. He didn’t like touching them, nearly anyone, really, Elrond knew, and he and his twin didn’t either. It brought back uncomfortable memories that neither of them could quite recall anymore. 

“In there,” Maedhros huffed, shoved them into a closet and shut the door. For a moment, they could hear him pulling things across the floor to barricade the door with, then, after shoving twice at whatever he had used to lock them in and everything else out, the sound of his footsteps grew quieter, and eventually disappeared entirely. Outside, the noise drew closer. 

They sat together in the dark, holding hands and barely daring to breathe. 

Do you want bread? Elros eventually asked through ósanwe, just before the first tell tale clanging of metal on metal rang from outside their little hiding place, and Elrond startled. 

Where did you get bread?

It’s old. He thought his twin might be smiling, and he anxiously listened to the rustle of fabric as Elros presumably pulled a bundle from a pocket in his coat, not letting go of his hand. Do you remember the group of Avari we passed a while ago? The ones who kept trying to sell us stuff?

Elrond blinked. But that was a month ago! You spent money on bread and then didn’t tell anyone because you were keeping it in your coat for a whole month? Maedhros would kill him, if he found out. Or, well, he would not speak to him for a very long time. Well, speak to him less.

You kept complaining you were hungry last time!

There is no way that thing is still edible. He almost felt like laughing, but the sound died before the thought of it could be wholly formed when a sharp wail rang from outside. They held their breath, until Elros thought, I don’t think that was an elf, and Elrond nodded. He swallowed. 

We could just keep it in our mouths for a really long time, Elros thought, bringing them back to their conversation. Let the spit make it soft and stuff. 

You are so gross. 

You’re gross! 

Elrond smiled. I got my dagger, he told Elros. If you want to share it. 

Elros carefully pushed a very solid shape into his free hand, and Elrond tried to look at it. It was so dark he could hardly see anything, but what he did see looked very much like a stone, and felt about the same. He knocked it against the floor of their cramped closet, and it made a noise that was loud enough that they held their breaths, listening for any threat that might have made it inside, past the two Fëanorians, a threat that might be alarmed of their presence. 

But they heard nothing but the clashing of swords and the screaming of curses. 

What did you do that for, Elros shot at him, in the very same moment Elrond thought, And you are really sure this is not just a stone you found?

Elros huffed. Why don’t you try it, if you’re so convinced you’ll break your teeth on it? I swear, I do one nice thing for you… 

Elrond ignored his brother’s mumbling and awkwardly moved his legs to make room to work on the ground, placed his dagger on the bread-stone and started dragging it carefully across its surface. It made an uncomfortably loud sound.

I dreamt of the Cottage, he thought, suddenly remembering it, and added, before Maedhros woke us. 

Was that girl with the red twintails there? Elros asked without missing a heartbeat. Because I did ask you to throw a stone at her if you saw her when I wasn’t there – 

I didn’t exactly make it all the way to the cottage. Elrond chose to ignore the feud his twin had with a Nandorian child, something that had started because of a doll in a tree and worked itself up into a small war his twin kept trying to involve him in. I got… held up at the beach.

Held up? Elros repeated, a confused tone to his thought. By what? 

Elrond frowned. You know how there are others there too? The ones who don’t see us?

Elros grinned. Yes. Do you remember that time we spelled out Ulmo’s wrath lies upon ye in the sand and scared those Vanyar half to death? 

Elrond frowned. You mean, that time you scared those Vanyar half to death. I didn’t do anything.

That’s because you’re boring! Elros shuffled in the dark and adjusted his hold on Elrond’s hand, pulling him closer. How’s the bread coming along? I’m hungry.

And I am working on it. He was already half way through the once-soft piece of bread, but stopped his steady sawing for a moment to think. One of the elves there saw me. 

It was quiet for a while. Elrond continued sawing away at the bread and Elros was staring at him in mute confusion. Even the battle outside had seemed to have halted its bloodthirsty fury, as if the entire world had pecked up their ears, was leaning in, listening. Elrond found he did not like that idea at all. 

Elros made a little sound, a hesitant “Huh,” before thinking, carefully, That is very odd. 

The noise outside resumed and Elrond put the knife aside to try and break the bread the rest of the way over his knee.

He failed. 

What did she look like?

I didn’t say they were a woman.

Elros was quiet. 

Elros?

Just a hunch. 

It almost seemed like he wanted to add something, but then a high tone finally shook the foundations of the tower, haunting and terribly loud, and in the attempt to shield it out and stop the sudden urge to levitate that had come over their bodies, they both forgot their conversation entirely. They were sitting in silence again when a very relieved Maglor opened the door and pulled them into his arms. After he let them go after a long while, a cut on his arm had closed entirely, not even leaving a scar behind, but he did not seem to notice.

They did not get to try the bread that night, but at least it was cut now.

[tennisarchives]

warning for a clearly anxiety-ridden oversharing freakout below the cut. sorry. i’m too sensitive and i’m unfortunately acutely aware of it.

tldr; im being a drama queen. gonna take a tumblr break for a week or two. to my mutuals, feel free to dm for my insta. i’ll be active until i wake up tomorrow morning and then i’m gonna zip

gonna preface this by saying this is in no way directed to the people whom i actually talk to constantly on here like you lot were lovely and im just dealing with a lot of demons in my head :(

anyway. sometimes i feel more like a product manufacturer than a person on here. and idk. i know most of you guys are really just following me for gifs and content and whatever but. yeah. idk. i guess the things i say don’t matter to anyone unless it’s funny. or if people want to call me out. not that im mad abt that exactly btw i do appreciate when people respectfully call me out for my own mistakes but. sometimes. i feel like im in a fishbowl and you’re all just waiting for me to say something wrong and cancel me. or then again, maybe most of you already think im a shit person and you just stay for the gifs. or maybe you guys think i’m a loser who has nothing to do but spend all day on this goddamn website.

and i know, somewhere inside me, that that’s not true and that it’s clearly the anxiety talking. maybe it’s just me maybe i’m making this up in my head i dunno. but i’m just kinda tired right now. too tired to battle the anxiety like usual at least. and i don’t really feel wanted outside of the content i produce, beyond the notes of my gifs or my fun posts. which ik shouldn’t matter but. i’m a pathological people pleaser etc etc.

(god, seeing this all typed out, i can’t even fucking blame you guys if you actly don’t like me cause. i kinda wanna shake myself by the shoulders and tell myself get a grip girl the world doesn’t revolve around you shut up shut up shut your damn mouth—)

i’ve been trying to manage by unfollowing and blocking a few people (which btw, if i did that to you and we used to be mutuals, it’s probably nothing personal i mostly just kept people i’m a bit closer to). but i’m still not really settled. and considering how i’m posting like every other day about feeling like shit, you guys probably figured that out lmao.

and well. on a separate note. seeing that rat’s name alone is too much for me sometimes. i couldn’t watch his game with carlos. i spent hours in his match with daniil turned away from the television, wearing noise canceling headphones while trying (and failing) to talk myself down from a full blown anxiety attack. i’ve said this before but the way people talk about him, both the fucked up silence and the justified outrage, it reminds me way too much about a family problem i have right now. hits uncomfortably close to home. prior to this i kinda thought i’d made my peace with the whole family situation but no apparently not. had he won the semis, i wasn’t even sure if i would be able to stomach cheering for jannik if it meant having to watch that man play.

so. idk. between the way actual tennis has been making me feel and the way tennisblr in general has seemed for me lately, i figure i need some space.

long story short ive been spending way too much time on tumblr this ao. and its gotten really bad for my mental health i guess. so i think i need to take maybe a week or two, to clear my head. watch tennis without opening this app every other point. spend time with people i love. get back to therapy. try to be a functioning adult.

(this is so fucking dramatic for a goddamn week of no tumblr i know that and i want to smack myself upside the head because why am i like this why do i make things snowball why why why—)

anyway. yeah. that’s it. if you actually read through all of that then. thanks. if not it’s okay too.

to my mutuals, the ones whom i’ve had at least some form of friendly interaction with in replies or dms, you can ask for my insta account btw. not that i’m crazy active on there but like. if you guys wanna be friends beyond the anonymity of this yknow. no pressure though.

[onyxrosess]

Pain is My Hometown

vergil x reader [multi-chapter series]

Chapter III: Only Fools Follow Their Heart

Chapter I | Chapter II | Chapter III [you're here!] | Chapter IV | Table of Contents

・warnings/tags: some mature topics.

( cross-posted on ao3 )

A few days have passed since going out with Dante and the girls, after your conversation with Nero— well it was an argument. You apologized to him the morning after, still feeling a little guilty for your delivery of your concern. Nero of course did not hold a grudge, just brushed it off and resumed life as normal. Later that day Kyrie shouted at you, someone was calling asking for you. Secretly, not really a secret at all, you hoped it was Kane. It had been radio silence since two nights prior. 

And as luck was in your favor, Kane’s voice spoke through the landline. It was different hearing his voice so clearly instead of being suppressed by blaring music and shouting. The conversation went well, giving him Devil May Cry’s number. Since the city had far more job opportunities than Fortuna, you had already started looking at job listings passively, not having to rely on Kyrie’s endless support would be nice for a change. Relying on Dante felt more morally correct, two negatives make a positive right?

Currently, you sorted through a package Kyrie received as a gift for her help in the orphanage. Most of it was household items, as Kyrie never accepted money, she barely even let you help around the house. Selfless woman, but it’s admirable to give without guarantee of something in return. Making a pile of unopened letters addressed to Kyrie for her to read, some of the return addresses had names you recognized, there were a few kids in Fortuna who came to Kyrie for help after a small hell gate had opened. Luckily it had happened when Nero and Nico were in town. It was nowhere near the scale of the artificial hell gates that had opened in Fortuna when The Order was around. But enough to leave kids without parents, or parents to grieve their children’s lives. 

Ringing filled the room as the landline was the clear source. You walked over and held it to your ear as your other hand still had an envelope in it. “Hello?” “Hey party animal.” You rolled your eyes, you had one drunken night in the past 6 months and now you’re the party animal. “Shut it, what did you call for?” “You said you were looking for jobs right?” Your interest was now piqued, instead of just being playfully annoyed with Dante. “Yeah, I am.” “Well, your dearest friend has an offer for you.” Why does this sound like it’s not gonna end well? Back to being annoyed with him. You reluctantly hummed a response. “How about you come help with some of the shop's legal papers. I’ll pay ya.” “I thought you were short on work, where the hell are you gonna get money to pay me?” “I have my ways.” Last time you checked this man was far deeper into debt than you could even imagine. “It won’t be all the time, the stack of papers does end eventually. Plus Trish and Lady will be there sometimes. I’m not a very strict boss.” A sigh left your lips, it wasn’t a bad deal. Filing papers and calling companies didn’t seem that bad. “Fine.” “You’re amazing, I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Yeah yeah, whatever old man.” Dante shouted at you through the phone but just as quickly as that started you hung the phone back up with a satisfying click and a smile on your face.

The sun peaked above the horizon, filling your bedroom with a warm glow, unfortunately waking you up from your slumber. Stretching your muscles in an attempt to also wake them up. Very uncoordinated this morning you swing your legs over the edge of your bed, bashing your ankle into the metal box spring. A prolonged curse left your gritted teeth, at this point, you needed a padded room. You’d probably still manage to nick yourself. 

Putting on something simple, but still comfortable— it’s not like your job for Dante was anywhere near professional, he’s the opposite of professional. Walking down the hallway, passing Nero and Kyrie's bedroom, Nero’s snores seeped through the walls. Into the living room, Kyrie was already up, her hands wrapped around a coffee mug. She was always a morning person. She sat on the couch, the kids must still be asleep too. “Morning, Kyrie.” You addressed her, she turned around somewhat surprised, “What are you doing up so early?”  Admittedly, it was pretty abnormal for you to be up at the ass crack of dawn.  “Dante offered me to work for him. Just temporarily I think anyway.”  Kyrie smiled, “Well, I won’t keep you then.”  “It’s not a worry, he didn’t give me a time to be there.”

Getting a quick bite to eat and snagging some of Kyrie’s coffee, you asked about the kids with Kyrie, and she talked about some returning faces. Chatting back and forth you bid her farewell, leaving into the garage. Pulling your arms through your jacket, you zipped it up before putting your helmet on. It wasn’t too early that your motorcycle would wake everyone up, it wasn’t that loud—or maybe you just are losing your hearing.

The drive over to Red Grave was peaceful, besides the few drivers who you questioned how the hell they got their license. Driving through the gravel alley, you kicked your stand up, like many times before. Turning the backdoor handle, you stepped into the shop, your eyes on the ground while you took off your helmet. As your eyes scanned for life, they landed on Dante. With a towel around his waist and another making a feudal attempt to dry his hair. A little surprised, you hopped up on the bar stool.  “You know Dante, this is your business office too, not just your house.”  “You’re the one who decided to show up at 7 in the morning.” Dante’s voice was still groggy, but that never stopped him from bickering. Rolling your eyes, accepting your defeat, this time. You set your jacket and helmet down on the counter making your way to Dante’s desk, trying not to trip over random objects and trash that littered the floor. How does he live like this? You sigh as you pick up the piles of paper that were not so neatly set on the ground. Dante better pay you well for having to put up with this level of disorganization. 

The first couple hours of your day consisted of organizing which papers were what. You’d assume they would end up sent to collections, after all, the charges were just sitting here for god knows how long. Then again, that never stopped Dante. A pair of footsteps descended the stairs. Almost in perfect timing, Lady barged in the door.  “Why didn’t you tell me (Name) was gonna be here?” Lady took great offense, after all, you maybe saw her once a week or every other week. Dante shrugged, “Dunno, forgot I guess.” “Jerk.” Lady leaned against the desk, looking over at all the papers you had scattered about on the wooden surface. Her head tilted trying to read the papers, the text was upside down to her.  “You got her to do your paperwork? Did he blackmail you?” Lady leaned over to observe you, no amount of money could get her to do his paperwork either. But you aren’t like her, not nearly as badass.  “No, I willingly accepted this offer. I need to start looking for jobs anyway.” A sigh left your mouth, it became a habit whenever you admitted you were broke as shit. Lady stood back up with a hand on her hip. Still skeptical, her eyes scanned your face. As if Dante stuck a device to you that controlled your every move, like in the cheesy sci-fi movies.  “I’m not forcing her, though blackmail’s not a bad idea.” Dante scratched his scruff on his face, a smile lightly tugged on his lips.  “Dante.” You warned him, staring at him, solidifying your warning. “You know I wouldn’t do that.” Dante crossed his arms over his chest. “Let's go, Dante, I gotta make our score even.” Lady tugged her weapon’s leather strap over her shoulder. A smile spread across her face, you suppose they always had the competition. Hearing about young Dante was always interesting when Lady graced you with stories.  “Bye!” Lady waved at you, running out of the door before Dante, as he quickly followed suit. Not without a nod and a smile in your direction. A silent goodbye.

Another few hours drag by. Going through a section of papers, looking at the clock in between. What felt like 45 minutes in reality was only 10 minutes. Now was when you took your unpaid break. You walked over to the white fridge, the jukebox adjacent to it lightly illuminated the surrounding area. The fridge was surprisingly clean, maybe just because there was barely anything in it. A pizza box of course was put into the fridge, classic Dante. There was a carton of milk and a few random take-out boxes. Before completely abandoning ship, you moved things around a little to find a box of strawberries. Picking it up, you eyed it suspiciously, checking for mold. At first glance, they seemed okay. Washing them in the sink, you were still cautious of them, after all, they were in Dante’s fridge. 

Back at the desk, you snagged a recent newspaper, unfolding it in your lap, you took a bite of a strawberry. Better start looking for job ads. Idly eating the strawberries that luckily were still edible, you bounced your leg. Most of the job listings seemed pretty boring, or simply too much work for what they were likely offering to pay. Plus it’s far too late in your life to pick up devil hunting like Lady, so a boring salary job it is. Flipping the yellowing paper, you scanned the other side. The shop was quiet, besides the muffled sounds of people walking by outside or an especially loud car. You filled the silence by humming the rhythm of a song.

“Dante did not tell me he hired someone.” A voice from around the corner spoke, nearly making you jump out of your seat. You had completely assumed you were there alone when Dante and Lady left. You looked over your shoulder to see Vergil standing there. Vergil. The conversation you had with Nero did not leave your mind so easily, you are sure your expression had turned a bit sour. 

“Apparently not.” You turned back around in the chair, resuming what you were doing. You would rather not discuss your utter hatred for him and what he did to Nero. You try not to completely despise him, it is difficult not to, having the experiences you do. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw him sit on the red couch against the wall, pulling out a book. Your eyes returned to your paper.  A few silent minutes passed, no longer feeling like you were allowed to make a peep in his presence. What was it? You suppose Dante was quite strange like that when you first met him. Though oppositely, brimming with strength but rather using it to make himself look flashy. This was more of a suppressive strength. Anyone in his presence should think lower of themselves just to lift him higher.

The rotary phone on the desk rang as it lightly vibrated the desk. You picked up the phone, putting it to your ear.  “Devil May Cry.” You tried to imitate Dante’s voice when he said it. Your words did not come out as effortlessly as his does. “Hey, office girl,” Kane spoke through the phone. A smile tugged at your lips, a little giddy from the compliment. “Not for long.” Letting out a small laugh through an exhale.  “Oh really?”  “It’s just temporary, I’m looking for other jobs right now.” You glanced at the newspaper, your pen marks littered the paper. “Maybe I’ll still get to call you office girl. Maybe a secretary.” You could hear his smile through the phone, silly man. You chuckled at his comment, “Whatever your sick fantasies desire.”  “I was calling to formally ask you out on a date, I would’ve called sooner but you know how life gets.”  Your finger twirled around the phone wire while you listened to him. “So you are a gentleman after all.”  Kane’s laughter seeped through the phone, as you couldn’t help but smile a little. “What about tonight then? When do you get off?” Kane asked, and you thought, when the hell do I get off? “I’m not sure actually, probably 5 at the latest.”  “What about 6 then, it’s not formal, so don’t worry about that.” Kane soothed your worries before it even crossed your mind.  “That works for me, I’ll give you the shop's address.” 

The conversation ended after you handed over the information. Now you sat at Dante’s desk with a giddy smile. But, you have to get back to work, or… you could slack a little. A sharp snap of a book being closed pulled your attention to where Vergil sat. He stood, still with the thin book in his grasp. He is such an odd man, but you still see his blackened heart through his exterior. His steps were almost eerily silent as he made his way to the front door, his head turned to look at you from the corner of his eye.  “Do not trust that man.” His words were sharp, but what confused you more was… why? And before you could even defend Kane or yourself that you’re a grown woman and you can make your own decisions, he left. The bad taste that the encounter left in your mouth refused to go away for the rest of your shift. 

The roads were lit with a warm glow of the streetlights, the architecture of Red Grave was always so beautiful. Not nearly as impressive as Fortuna, especially the building the Order once resided in was a sight to be seen. The faded white lines on the pavement passed by you with each dash mark. You hadn’t spoken a word to Kane since you both got into the car. The silence was not suffocating, it was pleasant. It’s been a while since you’ve been able to relax, the radio played quietly, some music you didn’t know but it coaxed you into closing your eyes. Your date with Kane went very well, thinking about it made you smile. His easygoing personality was nice, though unfortunately, Vergil’s warning made you think about what details you shared with Kane. You have no history with Vergil, and you have no idea if his judgment is sound, but it still affected you. And that irked you more. However you started to get lost in your thoughts, and eventually, you did fall asleep, hand holding up your cheek as your elbow rested on the car door.

“Hey, we're here.” Your body jolted awake as you surveyed your surroundings, you were still in Kane’s car. You turned to look at him, and he looked a bit surprised that you were woken so easily. Your body once tense, relaxed. You leaned back against the leather seats of his car, whispering an apology under your breath. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to take you back to Fortuna, but even then I didn’t know where you were staying so-” “It’s okay, thank you.” You interrupted his rambling, and a slight red color rose to his cheeks. His dark blue shirt matched his tan skin, his collarbone peaked out of the neckline. A few strands of his dark hair fell out of the bun he had put it in. You silently wondered what his hair would look like down, the thought made your body pull itself closer to him. His breath fanned over your face as he remained motionless, his eyes were half-lidded, analyzing the curves of your face. You caught yourself doing the same. Leaning over the center console of his car, which was an awkward position for your body, it was all worth it when his lips clashed with yours. It was slow, your hand held onto his forearm as your other played with the baby hairs on the back of his neck. You slowly opened your eyes to take a peek at his face, you wondered if his eyes were squeezed shut or if he had color on his cheeks once again. Instead, you were met by brown eyes looking at your own, his eyelashes cast a shadow over his irises, though this close you could see a ring of orange within the deep brown. Trying to summon your ‘nothing phases me’ facade, was a miserable failure. Your cheeks heat up like a pouring lighter fluid on a raging bonfire, you break away from his lips, trying to hide your face but you are only met with a laugh from Kane. “Shut it.” Once again your tough guy act was not very convincing as you tried to look at him with a stern face but he was met with a different expression. Trying to fight a war with your smile that you didn’t actually want to win, though you would appreciate it if your entire face didn’t feel like it was gonna explode. This only caused Kane to laugh more.

And you were left with no other option but to tug on the collar of his shirt, clashing your lips together in an embarrassing attempt to free yourself from your current position. And your solution did work, as his hands managed to find purchase on your back. The kiss was not as soft as earlier, but you did not dare open your eyes. Instead, through your closed eyelids, the dark lighting inside his car was lit up like the sun suddenly appeared right next to you. Both you and Kane froze, as you struggled to look out the windshield. As your eyes adjusted, you recognized the front of the vehicle that rudely interrupted your activities with Kane. But then annoyance morphed into horror as you realized who was in the driver's seat of that van, Nico. And who was next to her in the passenger seat? Nero. And once again, you fear your face showed your embarrassment. Kane's hands still clung to you as you slowly slipped out of his grip. And even worse, a figure stood outside of the van, Dante. This embarrassment has you praying to whatever god exists. Kane only recognized Dante, he was not so sure why you were so embarrassed, but he relaxed back into his seat as he watched Nico unfold into laughter, which could be heard through the closed windows of Kane’s car. 

You quickly got out of Kane's car, almost stomping over to Nico’s van door. You opened the door with such vigor you could care less if it flew off the hinges. “You shut up!” You pointed a finger at her, through laughs she could barely even speak. “You two love birds!” Then she kept hysterically laughing, but behind her in the passenger seat, Nero just awkwardly smiled. God, this was awful. Kane snuck up behind you as he tapped your waist with his hand, and he looked like he was about to burst out laughing too when he looked at your reddened face.  “You gonna have to apologize to Nero for traumatizing him like that-” “He’s 26!” Yes, Nero was very close to a younger brother to you, but he was an adult! He had a girlfriend and practically kids too, but it just made you boil with unbridled embarrassment. Kane stood next to you, he pulled you close by your forearm. Which surprised you but Nico got out of her car, fanning her face like she was the one who had just been making out with a guy, with an unexpected audience. 

You threatened Nico about 20 more times within the span of a couple of minutes, Nero had since joined the four of you on the sidewalk. Kane had to hold you in place or else you’d run away and hibernate for years. Finally, Nico stopped laughing like a hyena, you were able to ask her what they were doing out here. “We have an overnight job,” Nero answered. You nodded, Kane had since abandoned you to talk to Dante. You pray Dante isn’t sharing embarrassing stories about you, but you immediately knew he probably did just by looking at the stupid smirk that was plastered on his face. Silence came over the two of you before Nero spoke up again, “Is that the guy from the other night?” His words came out awkwardly, being able to stomach conversation about Kane you replied, “Yeah, his name is Kane.” “Right right.” Nero just fiddled with the hem of his worn-out shirt. “I’ll be careful Nero.” You told him, but you knew in that moment Vergil was somewhat right, you need to be careful. As much as you want to believe that Kane is a good guy, morally at least, he’s showed no signs of being anyone crazy. But, neither did you expect your previous boyfriends to be utterly insane. 

Nero seemed less tense after that, but the mood suddenly shifted when Vergil appeared from around the corner, you were the first to notice him. You couldn’t stand to look at him, especially with Nero right next to you. Kane had departed from the conversation with Dante and stood next to you, which you leaned on the side of the DMC van. Nico reappeared from the inside of the van, with somehow more grease on her, yet it had only been 10 minutes. And now it was a standstill, Vergil stood a few feet away from Nero, who was standing on the sidewalk. The air was thick, or at least just seeing Vergil next to Nero made you want to punch Vergil. Maybe it was because you couldn’t deny that Vergil was his father anymore when you looked at the two of them side by side and how similar they looked. Dante exchanged words with Vergil, which you didn’t catch as your focus was swayed to Kane. He squeezed your hand,  “I’m gonna go, you have somewhere to stay here right? I don’t want you driving to Fortuna this late.” You smiled, how sweet of him. “No, I’m okay.” You softly spoke as you could hear the conversation behind you between Dante and Vergil.  Kane hummed as he quickly kissed your cheek, which just reminded you of your embarrassment from less than 15 minutes ago, but not nearly as bad. His hand gave your hand one last squeeze before getting in his car. 

Luckily after you watched Kane drive off into the horizon till his car became a little blip in your vision, it wasn’t silent. You had enough of awkward encounters today, and probably for the next year too.  “We’re gonna leave, (Name),” Nero mentioned as he was about to climb back into the van, you nodded, giving him a quick hug, and you spoke over his shoulder. “Don’t do anything stupid, okay?” Nero only nodded before Nico stuck her head out the driver’s window,  “Him? Stupid? That's all he knows.” Nico spoke while chewing a stick of gum, Nero glared at her, which spurred her on even more. You only let out a breathy laugh, watching Nero get into the van. Dante and Vergil stood closer to the shop, Vergil’s body was straight, and well thought out like his doctor told him he needed to watch his posture. Though you presume he doesn’t even have a doctor– do half-devils have a doctor…? You pushed your curiosity aside, maybe after a shot, you’ll ask Dante sometime.   “Practice caution, Nero.” Vergil’s voice had less of a demanding tone, though his words were similar to the warning he gave you earlier today. Nero nodded, you stared at Nero for a little too long trying to analyze his expression, searching for a reason to smack Vergil. For good measure of course.

Waving off Nico and Nero as she drove maybe a little too fast for that beat-up van. You turned back around to Dante and Vergil, which Vergil quickly retired to inside the doors below the ‘Devil May Cry’ neon sign. You stood in front of Dante, whose shadow covered you.  “Soooo, that was entertaining wasn’t it?”  Dante’s stupid smile, again. “Oh please, I already heard it from Nico.” You turned away from him, trying not to relive the sheer amount of embarrassment that memory would likely hold for a while. Dante chuckled as he put his hands on his hips, so sassy.  “Can I stay the night or are you gonna kick me to the curb to go drive an hour back to Fortuna.”  Dante let out a dramatic sigh, scratching his white stubble with one gloved hand.  “Kicking you to the curb would add to tonight’s entertainment.” You only smacked his shoulder before walking towards the front door. Dante stopped you, pulling your arm as you stumbled closer to him.  “Vergil didn’t say anything weird to you, right? Before me and Lady left.” You bit your tongue, debating if you tell him or not, and you began questioning why you were holding back. To save Vergil from a lecture? You turned your head,  “He just overheard me talking to Kane on the phone and said something like, ‘Be careful’. It wasn’t anything.” You tried to play it off the best you could, because frankly, you didn’t want to start doubting Kane, you would not listen or even consider Vergil’s words. Only your own, and you’ve had plenty enough experiences to guide you to the right decision. You had a hard time looking at Dante right now, his face was oddly serious, his skin lit up by the neon sign.  “Just… Let me know if anything happens.”  “I will.”

You vowed as you both walked in the door in silence. Your piles of organized paper still sat on top of Dante’s desk, the lamp illuminated the otherwise dark room. You sat down on the couch, stretching your arms over your head, letting out a silent yawn. Dante sat down in his chair, moving papers so he could put his feet up on his desk. Thankfully he did not disturb your organization too much. “You can take my room,” Dante spoke as he found another magazine to flip through, how does he not get tired of those?  “You sure? I’m scared I’ll get devil coodies if I sleep up there.” You stood up from the couch. “I can still kick you to the curb, you know.” Dante looked up from his magazine, you knew he was joking, thankfully. “Fine, you don’t have devil coodies.” Dante let out a chuckle, his eyes quickly going back to the contents of the paper in front of him. “Goodnight.” You spoke as you went up the stairs, which creaked under your weight. “Night.” 

As always, thank you for reading! -onyxroses

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[twotangledsisters]

Can you give us an updated list of all your WIP's and which ones are likely to be posted? Are there any WIPs you've got that are unlikely to see the light of day?

Of course!

It's hard for me to measure likelihood of a fic being posted and how soon because other than the scheduled main fics I just let inspiration take charge. I wrote MOST of Hair-Cut over a year ago, didn't have an ending, one day the ending hit me and I posted it.

But I will colour code them as My Beloved, I love this story soooooo much (might not be coming soon but definitely coming, sometimes they take longer BECAUSE I love them and keep adding stuff and working more on them), this just needs polishing but I'm struggling for some reason, has an outline but got a looot of work yet, this is an idea more than it is a story, probably won't see the light of day.

Inside Tangled Sisters AU:

-The Three Disciples (pending title change): The story of Gothel, Sugracha, Tromus, Zhan Tirir and Demanitus.

-The Adventurer and the Prince: Arianna and Frederic's backstory (also lots of Cap).

-The Making of a Thief: Backstory for Eugene, Lance, Caine and Stalyan.

-Stuffed Animals and Hidden Animals: Cass and Raps hide Pascal and Owl from Gothel, their stuffed animal disguises backfired when Gothel starts ripping toys apart as punishment.

-Firsts: Rapunzel and Eugene have a lot of firsts to experience.

-Parenting Can Be Hard When You Fit In Their Pocket: Pascal and Owl parent the two human babies in the tower.

-Liars: Rapunzel and Cassandra had to lie to survive in the tower and carry those bad habits with them into the palace.

-Even Queen's Can Get Sick: Arianna gets ill and her daughters care for her for a change.

-Adopting The Thieves Who Stole Their Heart: Eugene and Lance travel through Equis with Keira and Catalina to get them officially adopted.

-Silent Screams and Loud Memories: It's hard being a father, especially when your two new adopted daughters came from the same horrific background as you and are still in the nightmare-phase of it all. (Lance comforting and loving Keira and Catalina, family fluff)

-Vardaros' New Fossil Exhibit: Lance takes the girls to the new fossil exhibit.

AU of Tangled Sisters AU:

-Three Thieves (pending title change): Cass isn't injured, nobody realises Rapunzel was the princess, Eugene, Cass and Rapunzel flee Corona to be thieves together but then Cass steals from the Baron and it all gets rather complicated.

-Tangled Now With Caine: Eugene steals the crown with Caine rather than the Stabbingtons.

-The Second Vial: Within Hair-Cut AU. Cassandra wakes up one day feeling unwell, but everybody is in denial about what it is. Day after day though she deteriorates fast and everybody is forced to accept the reality that the vials are what'll keep Cassandra alive.

-Caine the Handmaiden: Caine gets the gig as Cassandra's lady-in-waiting as part of a plan for vengeance but falls in love instead.

-Never Found: Eugene doesn't climb the tower just hides and escapes. Gothel takes Cass away from the tower once they're older. Cass escapes Gothel and finds a group of three thieves who she begs for help.

-Lost at the Gallows: Alternate S3 finale where Eugene dies. Pure angst.

-Evil Eugene: Rapunzel takes the moonstone, the shockwave of the sundrop and moonstone connecting leads to both Rapunzel and Cassandra's death and for Eugene to claim the sundrop/moonstone combined, following the instruction of Zhan Tiri as she promises a way to get his family back.

Everything Else:

-A History Major and a Knight: Cassandra steps through the door in The Inn of Yesterday's Tomorrow just to stumble into the room of a Modern Day Caine. Shenanigans and romance ensue! (credit to @rebecagpfs for this amazing idea!)

-No Matter What: Sequel to Always By Your Side. Lance has the moonstone wants vengeance on his brother who left him behind.

-Eugene slowly gets ill and Cass becomes a detective (obviously title pending change): Cassandra may not be fond of Eugene, but healthy people don't just suddenly fall ill and she's gonna figure out what's up.

-Shot: Cassandra takes and arrow meant for Eugene and Eugene is ready to tear the world apart finding out who did this.

-Mirror, Mirror, What You Took From Me: Cassandra shatters the mirror when hands reach out and try to grab her, a victory until they discover Eugene was already taken. Rapunzel is consumed by grief and manipulated by Zhan Tirir while Cass steals the moonstone and tries to fix things.

-Cass the Backup Body For Gothel: Gothel didn't have a child JUST for the chores. When the gang realises Cassandra didn't betray them, things get a lore more complicated, they must defeat Gothel but don't wish to harm Cassandra in the process.

-Anagapesis: Eugene realises he no longer loves Stalyan while trying to write his wedding vows.

-Father Tromus: Gothel fails to kidnap the princess and Tromus takes in Cassandra, teaching her magic and raising her to want vengeance on those who killed her mother.

-The Forgotten Future Queen: Cassandra is rescues at the age of six and adopted by Arianna and Frederic. She trains to become the best ruler Corona has ever seen, until one day the lost princess shows up and Cassandra no longer knows where she fits in the family picture.

-The Moon Slave: very dark AU where Eugene was an escaped slave and Cassandra is one who Rapunzel tries to save.

-Modern Tangled Dark: Modern-day tangled where Gothel keeps Rapunzel in atic and needs her blood for medicine, Eugene discovers her while running from the police and gets Cassandra's helps.

-Partners in Crime: Eugene and Rapunzel never realise who Rapunzel is so they flee and become thieves together. Captain is fired after the prison breakout leading Cassandra to leave Corona to hunt down Flynn Rider and enact vengeance.

-Lovers in a Tower: Gothel somehow convinced Eugene Rapunzel needs to be in the tower for safety but Eugene won't let her be there alone, except the tower soon becomes too claustrophobic for him.

-Islands Together: Captain returns to Corona with a four-year-old Cassandra and nobody knows what to do about it so they just let him. Which is fine until a full-grown Cassandra sees this.

-Royalty Can't Date a Thief: Frederic forbids the relationship between Eugene and Rapunzel. Eugene becomes Rapunzel's bodyguard and they date in secret.

-Queen for an Eternity: Arianna and Frederic die in the blizzard. Rapunzel becomes queen far too young.

-The Unknowing Indentured Servant: At four-years-old Cassandra is sentences for the crimes of her mother and her life belongs to the palace. Captain hides this from her under the guise it's just 'earning her stay'. Until Cassandra tries to quit and finds out the truth.

-Parcial Pardon: Eugene isn't given a full pardon, rather he has a lot of amends to do in Corona before he can start his new life.

-Strongbow Along For the Ride: Lance never got arrested, was there the day Eugene stole the crown and there to discover the tower and the lost princess... a tangled re-imagining.

-Queen of Amber: Arianna is consumed by the amber in the S1 finale and Frederic tries to kill Varian in his rage.

-Cass dies in the great tree: technically she dies outside of the great tree but the injure swere from there.

-The Hostage Situation: Instead of fight Hector holds a knife to Cass' neck and orders the gang to leave. Eugene splits from the gang to try and rescue Cassandra who was actually doing a pretty good job at bonding with Hector over their shared royal duties and how frustrating monarchs are when they just won't listen!

-Mothers Knows Best: Corona is heavily anti-magic and Gothel really did rescue Rapunzel. Eugene thinks he's doing good by bringing Rapunzel and her older sister to the lights until by the campfire he finds out about the magic but it's too late as the girls are now convinced the world is safe and flee Eugene to see the lights alone. Eugene goes to Gothel for help.

-Amber Alchemist: Quirin wasn't there to save Varian from the amber. Consumed by grief Quirin will do anything to save his son, including stand up to his old king and to the moonstone itself if need be.

-Mother Zhan Tiri: Zhan Tiri tries to manipulate a six-year-old Cassandra who's living in the tower with Rapunzel, it works to a degree but now Zhan Tirir needs to keep these babies long enough and eventually gives up leading them back to Corona so they can be somebody else's' problem.

-Gothel the Guardian of the Flower: Gothel goes to Corona after the sundrop's taken, begs to be left alone with the queen and flower for just a moment as she can heal her. Frederic is so grateful he gives Gothel a home in the palace garden where she is Corona's official healer. Arianna doesn't like how Gothel cares for her child and often brings Cassandra in to play with Rapunzel. One day things get more complicated when the thief Flynn Rider appears claiming he too can heal using the sundrop and isn't as picky as Gothel about WHO he heals! (one of my very fave WIPs)

I tried my best to keep this brief cause I feel like I usually over do it! However, if you want to know any more about any specific story go ahead and ask! I was going to include links to posts where I'd talked about each fic I'm not organised enough to locate those posts I'm afraid.

Also, I grabbed the stories from my WIP file, I try to stay organised but sometimes fics end up existing as a draft in another program so if I missed any, please do tell me and I'll add it! (both to this post and my WIP folder for safe-keeping)