#winter anon 2022

[actual-sleeping-beauty]

hello!!! merry christmas and happy holidays!!! i am your winter anon💜💜💜💜. hope today goes amazing for you and i hope 2023 brings you endless amounts of happiness! had a wonderful time talking to you this month🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻. i made you an edit as a gift! enjoy 🎁

HELLO FRIEND! i had such an amazing time talking to you this holiday season! i hope you have a lovely end of the holidays and year, and that 2023 is kind to you, because you deserve it <3 <3

this gift is so kind and amazing and i love it so much oh my goodness. thank you thank you thank you <3

[genericpuff]

Ahem. I know what other brushes LO uses ;)

(Forewarning: most of these brushes are from early LO and as such aren't used anymore. I will put an * next to the recent brushes Rachel uses.) Pastels, Gouache, and other textured brushes (used mainly for backgrounds):

Pastel Palooza (Kyle's Megapack)

Pastella (Kyle's Megapack)

Fat Fun 100 (Kyle's Megapack)

Fat Fun Spongy (Kyle's Megapack)

Hard Square Pastel (Kyle's Winter 2019 set) *

Pigmentia (Kyle's Fall 2021 set) *

Sheriff Coal (Kyle's Spring 2022 set) *

Watercolors (used for backgrounds like clouds and texture)

500 Giant (Kyle's Watercolors)

Medium Wash Texture (Kyle's Watercolors)

Soft Irregular Wash 150 (Kyle's Watercolors)

Soft Wash 120 (Kyle's Watercolors)

FX:

Kyle's Splatter Brushes - Splatter Bot C (Kyle's Splatter set)

Stars 1 and 2 (Kyle's Splatter set)

Pressure rake (Kyle's Rake set) (warning: while this brush can be imported into CSP, this brush only properly works in Photoshop and Procreate because of their specific brush engines that allow 360 brush tip rotation)

Wet Ink Dynamic (Kyle's Splatter set)

Wet Ink Random (Kyle's Splatter set)

Bird Mix (Kyle's Concept brushes)

Bird Mix Vintage (Kyle's Concept brushes)

Break Glass (Kyle's Concept brushes)

Crackup (Kyle's Concept brushes)

Downpour (Kyle's Concept brushes)

Gulls 1 and 2 (Kyle's Concept brushes)

Manga Line Varied (Kyle's Concept brushes)

Manga Lines Broken (Kyle's Concept brushes)

Any of the smoke brushes (Kyle's Concept brushes) (warning: like the pressure rake brush, they work properly in Photoshop or Procreate)

Get the concept brush set. I'm not joking.

The entirety of Kyle's Winter 2022 set (Rachel is using these for how winter looks in the mortal realm) *

Foliage:

Fall Color Save (Kyle's Concept brushes)

Foliage Color Mix (Kyle's Concept brushes)

Foliage Mix 2, 3, and 4 (Kyle's Concept brushes)

Foliage Mix Dry 1 and 2 (Kyle's Concept brushes)

Brancher Big, Medium, and Small (Kyle's Concept brushes)

Foliage Pro 1 - 8 (Kyle's Concept brushes)

Foliage Small Color (Kyle's Concept brushes)

Foliage Ground cover (Kyle's Concept brushes)

Maddy Bellwoar's Ghibli-inspired brush sets* (can be found on Gumroad for the cheapest price)

Hope that helps!

listen here my dear sweet anon

first of all, there is no forewarning needed here that these are mostly from early LO, early LO is what I'm dying to recapture so you already struck gold and you can stop digging (or don't, because holy shit finding this in my inbox was like christmas for puff round 2)

second, i hope you're happy choosing this timeline where you're my new bestie because goddamn this is COMPREHENSIVE

and third (and most importantly) how in the flying FUCK did you know about some of these

like it's clear at this point rachel uses a lot of the kyle webster brushes, i kinda figured that out ages ago and it was just a matter of figuring out which ones she uses which you've done me the solid of putting together for me

but the ghibli background set?? the brushes that are exclusive to the newest episodes ??

either you've just become the champion of being the most hyperfixated on old LO orrrrr you know something we don't and there's a reason you're using the anon tag-

[httpiastri]

winter wonderland & liam lawson? 🫶

no smile has ever been more contagious than liam lawson's. it's unavoidable – every time he smiles at you, there's some kind of force pulling the corners of your lips up, too. there's just nothing you can do about it. any time you spend just a few minutes with him, your cheeks grow sore from the constant smiling. not only had liam been stripped of his pole position this weekend, but he also did not finish the feature race due to problems with his car. if that had been you, the night would’ve been spent crying alone in your hotel room. and yet, here he was, with that perfect smile of his plastered on his face.

[caught-a-dragonfly]

Decided on my own little version of a tumblr 2022 wrapped.

Honestly, this is the most I've drawn in a good long while. Truly, thank you to anyone who has liked my art, shared it, and left nice comments in the tags. I've read and cherished every single one of them. You guys really reignited my love of art again and I'm so grateful <3

In the meantime you can find me over on my sideblogs @caught-a-ghost (spn) @caught-a-dragonfly-blog (art inspo/free-for-all)

[ghoulgums]

Any new pics?

my confidence is -5/10 so I haven’t been taking any 💔

[bctrashtime]

”i swear i can hear someone else breathing??”

Olli is probably cuddling him and that’s also why he shows only half of his face 😌

truth accepted anon 😂😂 who needs proof anyway?

[welcome-to-green-hills]

Do you think that you’ll write anymore fanfics? HIMPL was so precious

❤️🥺❤️Aww! Thank you, Darlin’❤️🥺❤️

This is my last semester at uni before going to grad school. Since it’ll be the nice break in between for the holidays, I plan on overflowing this blog with LOADS of goodies for everyone…. And then some😈

[f1-obsessed333]

https://www.speedcafe.com/2023/01/10/no-ricciardo-for-red-bull-bathurst-12-hour-drive/?fbclid=IwAR1PaOvkOTWpHq8q8_w1xbPbYWPRi7w_anCSe6HwpEIceumr3-oZGAQvFdw

There’s ours answer

Nooooooo 💔💔💔 What are you doing Red Bull??? This was the perfect start for him?

I dont get it? Why wouldn’t you put Daniel in the car?It should be a slam dunk.

[yourdreamboyyy]

92% post a naked selfie 😳

Hahahaha

I never clicked a full naked photo

When i used to do home workout i clicked some photos ( half naked ) just wanted to feel the change

Have you ever posted or clicked the one who

asked this 😵😵

[holylulusworld]

Kinktober vs Flufftober 2023

Like in 2019, 2020, 2021 & 2022, I will post a kinky, fluffy, angsty or scary one-shot from October 1st till October 31st, 2023.

Please consider none of the stories are available until the set release date. Titles may change (all titles are working titles until the release date.). The release date may change at any time.

ANGST/SMUT/FLUFF

October 1st: Forbidden Lust (2) sequel to Forbidden Lust

Pairing: Stepdad!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Kink: Homewrecker kink

Requested by: @jayyyyyyy-stuff

October 2nd: Rekindle

Pairing: Chubby!Thor Odinson x Exgirlfriend!Reader

Trope: Reunion

October 3rd: Very tight places sequel to Cramped & Tight places

Pairing: Soulless!Sam x fem!Reader

Kink: Claustrophilia

October 4th: Footloose

Pairing: Loki Laufeyson x fem!Reader

Trope: Enemies to lovers

October 5th: Serve your Soldier

Pairing: Soldier Boy x fem!Reader

Kink: Collars

October 6th: Falling leaves

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Trope: Sunny vs grumpy

October 7th: Blaze of glory

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Kink: Glad-to-Be-Alive Sex/Victory sex

October 8th: Two Bikes (1)

Pairing: Jax Teller x fem!Reader; Biker!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Trope: Angst

October 9th: Golden Retriever

Pairing: Jake Jensen x Reader

Kink: Crops / Spanking

Idea by: anon

October 10th: One autumn night

Pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x Omega!Reader

Trope: a/b/o

Idea by: anon

October 11th: I'm the best

Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader

Kink: Breeding kink

Idea by: anon

October 12th: Breathless sequel to Take my breath away

Pairing: CEO!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Trope: Secret crush

October 13th: One Summer night

Pairing: Cultleader!Thor Odinson

Kink: Sex Cult

October 14th: Snuggle time

Pairing: Lee Bodecker x Plussized!Reader

Trope: Cuddling & snuggling

Idea by: anon

October 15th: The cabin in the woods

Pairing: Winter Soldier x fem!Reader

Kink/Trope: Choking

October 16th: Not in my car

Pairing: Sam Winchester x fem!Reader

Trope: Love confessions

Requested by: @dawn-petrichor-world

October 17th: Backpack

Pairing: Jax Teller x fem!Reader

Kink: Thigh riding

Idea by: @dawn-petrichor-world

October 18th: Sex you up

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Chubby!Reader

Kink: Size kink

Idea by: @sultryfandoms

October 19th: Fulfilment

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Trope: Pregnancy

Idea by: @elle14-blog1

October 20th: Triad (1)

Pairing: Omega!Stucky x Alpha!Reader

Kink: Dom / Sub

Idea by: anon

October 21st: Autumnal love

Pairing: Thor Odinson x fem!Reader

Trope: Carving pumpkins

Idea by: anon

October 22nd: Unwanted Mate (Bucky's version)

Pairing: Alpha!Stucky x Omega!Reader

Kink: Threesome

October 23rd: Rescue you

Pairing: Jax Teller x fem!Reader

Trope: Rescue romance

Idea by: @dawn-petrichor-world

October 24th: Right there

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader

Kink: Pegging

Idea by: @flory-alexandra

October 25th: Deepest love

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Trope: Friends to lovers

Idea by: @elle14-blog1

October 26th: Demon knife

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!Reader

Trope: Friends to enemies

October 27th: Sunrise sequel to Beyond the soldier & After the eclipse

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Kink/Trope: Quirofilia/Nursed Back to Health

Requested by: @clarinette07

October 28th: Naughty School Adventures (1)

Pairing: Janitor!Sam Winchester x Teacher!Reader x Gymteacher!Dean Winchester

Kink: Cucking

Idea by: @moosekateer13

October 29th: Unwanted Mate (Steve's version)

Pairing: Alpha!Steve x Omega!Reader

Trope: Unrequited feelings

October 30th: Taped on video

Pairing: J3 x fem!Reader

Kink: BDSM

Requested by @moosekateer13

Halloween Specials: ANGST/SMUT/HORROR

October 31st: The past always catches up

Pairing: Winter Soldier x former Hydra!(fem) Reader

Trope: Villain Reader

October 31st: Dreams of sharp teeth

Pairing: Werewolf!Walter Marshall x fem!Reader x Werewolf!August Walker

Trope: Monster AU

Find all other Bingos and Special Events here: Special Events

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hey Raven! Hope you're doing well, and I hope you had a great holiday, if you celebrate, that is.

I hate to clutter your ask box with something like this, and you don’t have to answer, you can just read this with an open mind, but I feel you're the only one I could go to with this without being straight-up attacked. It's also why I'm asking anonymously.

But, what's your stance on the whole war between the JP and EN versions of the game? I'm not asking you to pick a side or anything, I just wanna know your thoughts.

Obviously, I'm an EN player, and idk if you seen, but there's some hateful things out there about us, and honestly, it's hurtful and disheartening to every time I get up here. And it's always on this we as players can't control. Mainly the dialog translations and it's changes.

I've seen people calling us dumb and weak, saying we water down everything because we can't take it, etc. I've seen people saying we don't know how to really correctly and analyze characters and that we're not even playing the same game. They say we've ruined the game, the fandom, and that they wished it was never localized. I've also seen quite horrible things, but I don’t wanna repeat the things said, but yeah.

And the kicker is, it's only the JP side I've seen post this stuff. I've seen more hate come from that side more than anything, and of course not all, like you. You're my fave btw.

So yeah, thoughts?

Hello, hello! ^^ I’m not really a super big celebration person but I’m hunkering down for a cozy hibernation this winter ❄️ I hope everyone had/will have a good 2023 holiday season~

Before I provide my response to the question posed in this ask, I want to make sure we're all on the same page for this discussion first:

Please be advised that my perspective is coming from that of someone who started off playing JP in March 2020 and then picked up EN when it came out in January 2022. I have played on both servers since their initial launches.

When I refer to TWST JP and EN fans in this post, I am only referring to the English speaking fans (as in, English speaking fans who play JP and English speaking fans who play EN).

For the sake of simplicity, I will be disregarding “hybrid” fans (English speaking fans who play both JP and EN) as a separate category and will lump them in with “JP” fans (English speaking fans who play JP). This is because I assume most mixed fans started off with JP and then adopted EN later on.

I am not talking about ALL English-speaking JP and/or EN fans here; I am only talking about the ones Anon described in their ask.

As the Anon said, I ask that you go into this post with an open mind; do not assume that I will bash JP and/or EN, take sides, defend or condone toxic attitudes, or that this post exists just to “stir the pot”. That is not the purpose of my response. The purpose is to have a meaningful and constructive discussion about TWST’s fandom culture, particularly as it pertains to English-speaking fans. I hope that in talking about this, we can better understand “the other side” (however you may personally define that) and work toward making the fandom space more welcoming for all.

Please read the entire post and think about your own choice of words before commenting and/or sending in an ask about this topic, should you choose to.

To the Anon that submitted this ask and to anyone else that plays EN and may have had similar thoughts: I’m sorry to hear about the negative experiences you’ve had in the TWST fandom. I hope that this post brings you some peace of mind, if not at least some catharsis for what you may be feeling.

Firstly, it’s important to understand the mindset of both JP and EN fans. As such, I will delve into the background and the development of each side. It is NOT meant to justify either side, but rather to inform you on how each perspective originated and grew to what it is today.

The animosity and opposition to an official English version of TWST has been present for a while. An English version of TWST has always been contentious, even long before the localization was announced. Some wanted it to happen for accessibility reasons (as some people find it tedious to hunt for translations) or were supportive of the idea because it means a larger fanbase and thus more potential to make friends or to discuss the game. Others were more apprehensive of the quality of a localization (as much tends to be cut or censored to make the content more palatable) and/or claimed that expanding the fanbase in such a way would bring in more “bad apples”.

When EN first came out, it did, in fact, expand the fanbase. However, many were quick to notice the many (and I do mean many) errors and short sightings present in it: frequent spelling and grammar mistakes in the game and on official social media posts, inconsistent phrasing, incorrect translations, game-breaking glitches, frequent censorship, half-hearted promotions, etc. EN also became infamous for its absolutely brutal pacing of content in the early days, particularly related to the limited story event schedules (including back-to-back Halloween events). This, in combination with EN’s constant pushing of paid gems (which occurs far more frequently than in the JP server) has left a bad taste in JP fans’ mouths. To them, TWST EN did not make a good first impression and continued to misstep again and again. This is especially true of the many dialogue changes to make the TWST localization more “culturally appropriate” (which is the definition of what a localization is; there is a reason why TWST is not called a translation, which would be a more accurate/“faithful” or direct translation of the dialogue).

The claim that “EN fans are weak/can’t handle the real story” likely arises from how EN has removed or altered details which may offend western audiences. This includes things like the term “master”, the mention of Azul’s weight, Kalim’s “30-40” siblings, etc. These are conscious decisions made on the part of the game localizers to make TWST more broadly appealing and appropriate for a western audience, where such topics are contentious or considered taboo. This is adapting TWST to a new culture so that it can (in a dry business sense) perform well. However, I also want to mention that some cultural changes EN made do significantly alter the story/characters (such as Jamil no longer stating his family will be on the streets if they defy the Asims; in EN he only says his parents will be mad at him), particularly if you are viewing through an EN-only lens. Unfortunately 😔 as much as I can point the nuances of localization out, there will always be fans who still oppose any sort of censorship. This is also true of the anime and manga community in general, and this post isn’t large enough in scope to tackle those issues. I only mention this here to help you, the reader, better understand the changes from Disney/Aniplex.

A lot of the original negative feelings that were there before EN was announced were then confirmed by the official release, and this strengthened the dislike of EN on the part of JP fans. These JP fans may then become hostile toward EN fans who defend the localization (whether or not they have the context of TWST JP) because, in the eyes of the JP fans, the localization is not as good as it could be. Ultimately, it seems like their intense feelings stem from passion for what they love and not wishing to see it “desecrated” rather than an actual hatred of fellow fans. JP fans are upset because they fear EN fans are not getting the full scope of the characters and a story they enjoy, and they want others to appreciate those aspects of TWST as well.

Of course 💦 the fact is that EN fans are not responsible for the localization. But EN is there and that is what is the easiest and the most time efficient for English-speaking audiences, so most people will go with that rather than alternatives (ie hunting down fan translations). The issue is that some JP fans conflate simply consuming the localization as being bad or the “wrong” thing to do, and thus, by proxy, extend this frustration to EN fans themselves (especially those those are EN only and have zero prior knowledge of JP) and not just the product. Again, this is because they tend to see JP as the “full” version, without the changes or censorship present in EN. This inevitably leads to discrepancies in understanding between JP and EN, whether due to staggered release of new content or how the characters are presented differently between the two servers. To those who say “the versions are basically the same except for minor changes”, I disagree. There are several dialogue changes that appear small in isolation, but because TWST’s narrative is told primarily via dialogue, those “small” changes are actually very large and can drastically modify how one perceives a character or situation without explicit knowledge of JP to balance it out. When Jamil is made an “employee” rather than a “servant” and worries about his parents being mad at him instead of his entire family literally being on the streets for defying the Asims, it takes away the bite from his motivations. When Cater inserts a #WOW that wasn’t there in JP while Riddle is breaking down sobbing, or makes him come off as far more insensitive than emotionally aware. These are just a few examples, but they are very prominent ones that can change how an EN only fan sees things. The idea that “we aren’t even playing the same game” can ring true to some JP players because of this.

It cannot be helped that EN fans would interpret the characters and stories differently when the localization is their only or primary source of TWST content. Not everyone has the time or the desire to look for more accurate fan translations (not all fan translations are the same quality), as some JP fans have suggested. If EN fans want to, that’s great! It’s nice to expand one’s knowledge and to be cognizant of the changes between the versions. There are many blogs out there dedicated to educating people on these matters, and many EN and JP fans alike flocking there to be informed. But that level of engagement shouldn’t be demanded of anyone. To deem those that don’t engage in “further research” as “lazy”, “dumb”, or a “fake fan” is not acceptable, not in the name of love or otherwise. The expectation to “do homework” only puts pressure on EN fans to be a certain way or else be rejected by the fandom, and that only breeds more hatred and negativity. It makes EN fans feel “not worthy” of being a fan unless they study up, when the truth of the matter is that no matter how much we like TWST, it’s… media at the end of the day. People are free to consume their choice of media however they like, and that includes casually or at their own pace. It’s not fun to be in a fandom where others are breathing down your neck and policing everything you do, especially since these spaces are meant to be a temporary escape from reality. If JP fans meant to gatekeep in an effort to make others recognize the “real” greatness of TWST, then it’s failing because this kind of attitude only serves to drive new fans away.

Among EN fans, there is this idea that “JP fans are stuck-up”. I can understand where this thinking comes from, as I have witnessed hatred for EN myself which comes unprompted and has killed many conversations. Admittedly, some points are geared toward the company themselves (and those are valid), such as rushed and/or inaccurate translations or the pushing of paid gems, but I’ve also seen my fair share of nastier, invalid comments directed at EN fans. There are JP fans who actively hope that EN will shut down or who outright dismiss EN fans because of the version they play, thinking of their thoughts and opinions as “lesser” or doubting their media literacy skills. It’s true that this behavior is out there in the fandom, and that is unfortunately a sad reality.

That being said, JP on EN hate is not the only form I see, and nor is it the majority. It goes both ways (and I would say about equally for all, although this is just based on anecdotes and not objective data). There is plenty of JP on JP hate (particularly when someone spreads mistranslations around as though it were the truth) and EN on EN hate (arguments over what is and is not appropriate to ship, differences in headcanons, harassing fans that fall outside an “acceptable” age range, etc). There is also EN on JP hate which feeds into a dangerous back-and-forth with JP on EN hate. I briefly mentioned before that EN fans tend to believe JP fans are elitist, and this leads to assumptions being made about anyone that critiques EN and sometimes lashing out about it. I myself have previously been accused of “hating” EN because I often make posts commenting on the changes made between EN and JP (which ones I think work and which I think don’t). This preemptively defensive behavior drives another wedge between JP and EN fans, making JP fans reluctant to engage with EN fans, which then fuels the belief that JP fans think they’re “better” than EN fans (when really, some JP fans may be intentionally distancing themselves for their own wellbeing). Additionally, a lot of behavior deemed more acceptable in western oriented fandom spaces (such as moral justifications, taking pictures without crediting, callouts of other fans, and incorrect use of fandom tags) are not so for JP spaces (or those familiar with JP spaces). There have also been times when EN fans harass the actual Japanese-speaking side of the fandom (be it Japanese fans or the devs themselves) and demand (not ask, but demand) content that caters to them or free translations of fan comics they make. When EN fans fail to observe such “basic fandom etiquette”, it leads to JP fans thinking them rude or entitled, which makes JP fans reluctant to interact with EN fans and, again, feeds into confirmation bias. It’s a viscous system.

What is “ruining” the fandom is not just one side. There has always been turmoil present in fandom spaces. It just appears more visible now that TWST’s popularity has grown to this scale. Right now, both sides (JP and EN) are antagonizing each other because of a loud minority that’s attacking the other side. That minority then gets extrapolated and assumed to be behavior of the entirety of the other side, and that is what keeps the hate going.

If I’m being entirely honest 😔 I don’t think these tensions will realistically ever die out; the fandom is too large to “stomp out” what has already been established in its culture. When both sides are fueled by something so strong—a passion for TWST—it’s hard to seek out and/or to consider alternative perspectives. We become fixated on their own negative experiences and fail to think about where the “others” maybe be coming from, and then close ourselves off from discussion. That promotes isolation and contempt rather than friendliness and cooperation.

If we want change, then it starts at an individual level and in smaller TWST communities. We shouldn’t assume the worst of “JP” or “EN” fans; we are all TWST fans. Let’s keep open-minded and welcome other fans and their diverse schools of thought. And if you don’t feel comfortable with that, that’s also fine! You’re allow to keep a distance and curate your online space as you like; just please don’t go out of your way to disparage others, you have your own lane and others have theirs. Don’t encroach on other lanes.

Maybe we don’t necessarily agree with each other or we think may hold different opinions—but that’s good, isn’t it? The freedom of thought and the open exchange of ideas promotes flexible thinking and can lead you to see things from a new angle, or perhaps develop a new idea of your own. If we all thought the same way, then life becomes boring or it can cultivate an “us versus them” narrative that sparks online wars.

Let me put it this way to close off the post: isn’t this the message that Twisted Wonderland itself is trying to teach us? The true value of attending Night Raven College isn’t just about receiving a good education. Countless times it has been stressed to us (and often by Lilia, the oldest and wisest of the core cast, someone who used to be resistant to opening up to outsiders) that it is vital to understand other people in spite of how different we may be. Let’s take a page out of the students’ book and try to live up to that ^^

[actual-sleeping-beauty]

helloooo merrry christmas eve!!!!

im doing fine, i was just quite exhausted the past couple of days because of work and anxious about some personal stuff, but im ok now!!

just want to tell you that it has been so lovely being your winter anon!!! had fun learning all the cool things about you and i hope you have an excellent day today. may all your wishes come true!🎄🎅

hello! I'm glad you're feeling better now! And if you are in the US I hope the weather is treating you kindly!

I had such a good time chatting with you this month, and I can't wait for the reveal tomorrow ❤️❤️

Here's some pictures of my dogs begrudgingly wearing antlers for you

[zenaidamacrouras1]

Ten questions for writers

The lovely @somanywords tagged me and I'm all in my bullshit as I finish a long fic so it's the perfect time for this.

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

23

Why is it shouting? I didn't mean to make that big but whatever. 23.

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

Word Count: 764,847

And what I would like to say, is that I started writing in the summer of 2022, so pretty much exactly two years ago, and deleted one longfic when I decided I hated it, so my point is, that is an average of more than 1,000 words a day published, and I have a shit ton of unpublished stuff.

Is my math possibly close on this? Holy shit, I talk a lot, and don't worry, I do have an actual diagnosis for my mental health problems, not that it helps all that much, but hahahahaha, doing great.

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Captain America, though a lot of Marvel sneaks in around the edges.

Wandavision, Hawkeye (more the show and comics than the Avenger's movies version of Clint) and Black Widow in particular. I am interested in writing diverse stories which has me pulling from the more recent content for women, queer folks, and people of color to include. I do see the irony of hyper-fixating on two white males for literally years and nearly a million words and then complaining about lack of diversity. Let's talk about it.

4. do you respond to comments? why or why not?

I do, meticulously and with great joy. BUT.

When I first started writing I had no idea what to do with comments. They made me happy and thrilled, but also very stressed about social etiquette. I would rarely reply. At one point I saw an anon asking on Tumblr if the author was mad at them for commenting because they commented on every chapter of a work in progress without hearing anything back. I honestly had never thought about it from that perspective, so I starting replying, and it got easier with practice. I have gotten into my own groove and I enjoy it now.

I think if it stresses authors out, no pressure. It actually does take up a chunk of time, especially on my more popular fics or if a chapter is particularly exciting/has a cliff hanger, etc. I really enjoy doing it, so I don't mind at all, and if it ever feels like a TASK I don't pressure myself to reply, because I find if I wait a few days it brings me joy again.

5. have you ever had a fic stolen?

No (?)

6. have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, I have collaborated with artists through Bangs though which is super neat!

7. what’s your all-time favourite ship?

Look the obvious answer is Stucky.

I think one of my first pairings was Mara Jade and Luke Skywalker, but in that pairing I was a stand in for Luke Skywalker and Mara was too cool for both of us but also imprinted on my developing brain.

Mara Jade (for those who don't know) is a formerly brainwashed lady spy superhero in the 1990s era Star Wars books with sexy red hair. I suspect the author had read some Black Widow but have not confirmed this. I had not seen any Marvel comics at that time and was very on board with Mara Jade. (Not literally, sadly.)

As far as writing though, it's Stucky that I keep thinking up stories that I have a compulsive need to write down. I think of lots of stories for other pairings but they don't eat my brain like Stucky.

8. what are your writing strengths?

I am stubborn as fuck.

9. what are your writing weaknesses?

Excess (see above).

10. first fandom you wrote for?

On ao3 it was Winter Soldier+Widow (since orphaned, it was bad).

In my head as a teen it was definitely MeLuke Skywalker/Mara Jade. Very extensive mental storylines between us them.

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No pressure tags for anyone who sees this and wants to play! And also @dharmasharks @voylitscope and @fsbc-librarian and @late-to-the-party-81 and @metalbvcky and @aimmyarrowshigh and everyone else I am trying to get over my social anxiety around tagging please don't stab me.

[outsideratheart]

Christmas Miracle (Alexia Putellas x reader)

A/N: This technically is not part of my advent calendar series but you guys wanted angst and who am iIto say no. To the anons who sent requests for this, i hope you like it. I know it isn’t quite what one of you asked for but I did try to use both of them to build the fic.

2022 was a rollercoaster of emotions for both you and Alexia. You had immense success with Barcelona despite failing to complete the quadruple. Then Alexia had her injury the day before your first game with England. Whilst the summer was one you will remember for the rest of your life, it is one Alexia wished never happened. 

Off the pitch you spent endless hours at media events and photoshoots, luckily you had each to lean on when things became too much. 

It was the reason why your final appearance of the year was bearable. FC Barcelona requested that the captains of the female team attend the gala so that they can talk about how the women’s game is progressing. 

By the time the event ends both of your social batteries are drained and you are ready to go home. 

“Tonight has been the best so far” you lean back against the leather seat letting the coldness of the fabric calm you. 

“That’s because it was our first one where the world knows we are together. We didn’t have to hide our love” Alexia rests her head on your shoulder. Her fingers interlock with yours as they lay in your lap. 

There were many reasons why the night was a success but none came close the one Alexia said. The summer was a test for many reasons yet despite this your relationship with Alexia grew stronger than ever. Being in a different country when your girlfriend was going through the hardest time of her live didn’t stop you from being there for her and Alexia’s injury didn’t stop her from cheering you on from Barcelona. It was during the final when Alexia asked you if you she could tell the world about the two of you. You obviously said yes having been waiting for her to comfortable enough to do so. 

“I got to dance with the most beautiful girl in the world and everyone else had to watch on in envy” you recall the moment in your head, it was one that had never happened before. The music slowed yet you and Alexia stayed on the dance floor as you swayed to the beat. The crowd around you becomes less relevant with every verse that is played. 

“We certainly stole the show” Alexia says. 

“What’s next? We are officially on winter break. I didn’t really get an off season due to AMOS cup, I’m ready for a holiday” you ask Alexia knowing that she has been working with your manager, who just so happened to be hers, to make sure you got at least two weeks off. No photoshoots, no interviews, no distractions in the slightest. 

“I’m thinking Australia. Me, you, mum and Alba fly out on the 22nd then have an open invite for anyone to join us between Christmas and new year” Alexia used the words thinking loosely. Truth is she has been planning this for a couple of months. 

“That sounds like heaven” you dip your head slightly to kiss her temple. A smile dugs at your lips when you feel her relax into your touch. 

The two of you sit in comfortable silence as the radio plays a Spanish Christmas song that Alexia seems to know all the words to. You make a mental note to ask her about it later having never heard it before.

You are calm and still in that moment, holding the woman you love but then out the corner of your eye you can see a set of car lights getting closer and closer. You think it is going to stop but when it becomes clear that the driver has no plans to do so, you do what comes naturally. You protect Alexia. You quickly shift in your seat so that your back is against the door. Alexia doesn’t have a chance to question the movement as the car is hit. 

The force of the impact causes the car to roll but enough times that it remains upright. 

All Alexia can hear is ringing through her ears, her vision is blurred but she tries her hardest to come to her senses. She squeezes her eyes shut then focuses on her breathing. When she opens them again everything is back in focus. The sight she saw filled her with panic and struck fear within her. 

“Ale” Your voice is strained and she can only guess how much pain you must be in.

“Baby, you’re ok” Alexia words are more a form of reassurance for her than you.

She is frozen. What does she do? Does she try to move you? No, in the TV shows they say never move the person as it can cause more harm. There is a deep wound on your side no doubt from the car hitting you. She reaches one arm behind your head whilst the other one applies pressures in hope of stopping the bleeding but she feels warm liquid on her hand which is near your head. When she pulls it away her hand is covered in blood.

“Can you lean forward for me?” 

You eyes fail to focus as they stare into space but you do as she says. When you do Alexia can see a cut on the back of your head. This only fills her with more panic as she knows head injuries are very serious.

“Are you both ok?” The driver, who has managed to get out of the vehicle, asks the two of you.

“I am, I think. Y/N is hurt badly, she has cut to her side and a deep cut on the back of her head. It could be worse I don’t know. What do I do?” The panic grows tenfold as Alexia says your injuries out loud.

“Alexia are you hurt?” the driver asks.

This earns a scoff from the midfielder. How could he not see the shape you are in. Why would he ask about her and not you.

“She is hurt” it is all Alexia can bring herself to say.

“I know and I have already called 112. I have told them that Y/N is injured but they asked me about you”

This made more sense.

“I’m ok, I think” Alexia looks herself up and down and repeats her words.

“You have” you cough suddenly “a cut on your eyebrow”

If the situation wasn’t as serious Alexia would have laughed at your selflessness. Here you are, clearly in pain with god knows how many injuries yet you have taken the time to check her out.

She wants to make a clever remark but when she looks back you she see’s your eyes slowly closing, as if you cannot take no more. The pain rushing through your entire body is becoming too much to bare.

“No, No” Alexia begins crying as the severity and the possible outcome of this becomes real.

“Y/N, baby, mi amor, mi alma” She uses every nickname she have ever given you in hopes that one will register.

“I love you Alexia” It was said like a last affirmation of your love for her “If this is where my story ends then I want you to know I have loved every minute spent by your side and I wouldn’t change it for the world” a single tear runs down your cheek and Alexia is quick to wipe it away.

“Don’t cry for me baby. Focus on the good times we have had, they are ours and will stay with you until the end of time” 

Those are your last words as your body succumbs to the pain. 

The paramedics arrive not long after. As they load you into the ambulance the driver, one that the team had used and who had gotten to know you and the rest of girls well, tells Alexia that he called Jonatan and he has let the team know what happened.

The hospital waiting room is eerily quiet as multiple families wait for updates on their loved ones conditions. Alexia is sat alone in the corner, her hands stained red with your blood. The white trousers she wore are now more pink. Her mind wanders to what happened. She soon finds herself angry with you, which angers her more given the current condition you were in, you chose to put yourself in harms way to safe her. It reminds her of when you were watching some action film, the name escapes her but she remembers you saying that you would sacrifice yourself for her, you said you would take a bullet for her, she never thought for a minute that you would ever prove this to her.

She is so caught up in her own mind that she doesn’t see that she has company.

“Ale” Alba takes a seat near her sister.

The feeling of comfort that her little sister brings shocks Alexia but in that moment she has never been more grateful for her.

Words fail Alexia as every negative emotion rises to the surface. Her body racks with sobs as Alba pulls her close whilst fearing the worst.

“Is Y/N —“ Mapi cannot say the words out loud in fear of getting the answer she didn’t want to hear.

Ingrid pulls her close now knowing how her girlfriend would react if the worse were to have happened to her best friend.

“No, No. Y/N is fine. She is the strongest out of all us. Tell her Alexia” Pina all but begs.

Still, Alexia cannot bring herself to face the team. She cannot look them in eye and say that she is reason why you are in surgery, all because you made the split second decision that her life holds more value than your own.

“Alexia” Leila whispers as she crouches down in front of her friend “are you ok?” 

Again Alexia didn’t expect it. Why was she getting asked about herself when you were in much worse shape. Then it hit her, the nurses must not have told them anything about your condition, they weren’t family. At least not according the the hospital. 

“It was bad Leila. There was nothing I could do. One minute she was holding me then next thing we got hit by a car. She’s hurt Leila, there was so much blood. Her side and her head” 

The team hang on Alexia’s every word as they get told what happened. 

“She is alive, yes?” Mapi asks and for the first time since entering the hospital she has hope. 

“She’s in surgery” Alexia looks up and faces her team “she was unconscious when we got here but the doctors said she had a heartbeat” 

“That’s good Ale” Alba tries to reassure her sister. 

“No Albs, you didn’t see her. She said goodbye, like she was already giving up” 

The girls listen in shock. You had never given up on anything in your entire life, you were too stubborn to do so.

“Y/N doesn’t give up and she won’t leave, not without living her life with you. She has plans for the two of you Alexia. She has told me over and over again about how she plans on marrying you and having a family with you. How one day your children will celebrate with you both as you win games and trophies. Trust me Alexia, she has plans for the two of you and she won’t leave this earth having not done any of them” Mapi uses every ounce of positive energy she has to reassure your girlfriend knowing that you would do the same if you were in her position.

“I don’t if we will get that future maps. I know this is hard for you too, I know she is your best friend and I know that you must be just as scared as I am” Alexia stands for the first time since the team arrived. She stands so that she can embrace her in a hug.

“She’ll be ok Alexia. Our Y/N doesn’t give up without a fight. She needs us to be strong because she can’t” Mapi responds.

The team sit, pace and stand in the waiting room as the doctors work on you in the operating theatre. A hour passes before they see a man, in his late 40s, dressed in scrubs approach them.

“Are you the family of Y/N Y/L/N?” the surgeon asks and everyone nods in response.

Alexia is front and centre as she listens to him explain the surgery and what is next for you.

“I know it must be scary but the surgery went well. She had a brain bleed and some internal bleeding, both of which we were able to control rather easily but due to head trauma she is in a coma” 

Upon hearing this several girls gasp in shock whilst Alexia’s face remains stoic. 

“A coma?” she needs him to confirm what she heard was correct.

“A medically induced coma. Head traumas can be difficult to recover from. You don’t realise how much we use our brain because the tasks come so easily to us. Y/N needs to heal before she come back to you, ok?” 

“She is going to be ok though? The crash was bad, I thought I was going to lose her” 

She can tell the doctor is thinking carefully about his response. The chances of recovery were high but the truth is they won’t know how well the surgery went until you wake up.

“Your girl is a fighter Alexia” 

What she does next is unexpected. She pulls the doctor into a hug, thanking him over and over again for saving you. He of course says it part of his job and that the hard part is all on you. Visitors are allowed and he explains that due to the circumstances and with it being the holidays he will allow everyone in to see you.

“You go in first Ale” Alba hesitantly pushes Alexia towards your room.

Alexia froze at the threshold almost as if she was waiting to be let in. There you laid, unconscious, helpless and unrecognisable. If you were to ask anyone who ever met you and they would say that your eyes were unforgettable yet in this moment as your eyes remain closed Alexia tries and fails to remember what they looked like. The tube that was helping you breath causes a level of panic and fear inside Alexia that she never thought possible. 

When she plucks up the courage to enter the room she doesn’t go straight to you. Instead she chooses to stand at the foot of your bed, her mind running a hundred miles an hour as flashbacks flood her mind. 

She has seen the movies so she knows that she should talk to you and that could help but in there moment she is speechless. 

Then she sees your personal belongings on the table beside you. In the clear bag was your jewellery. Some was what you wore for the gala but what she wanted the most was your everyday Jewellery. Your necklace and the ring you always wore on your middle finger. Every since you met you had these items having been given them when your grandmother passed away. 

She proceeds to place the necklace around her neck and places your ring on her finger. The small sentiment brings her peace having it feel like part of you is with her. 

“Mi alma” she takes a seat beside you bringing your cold hand to her mouth as she places several kisses on the back of it. 

”You talked about our story ending but it is only just beginning. I have so much planned for us, you have to wake up that I can show you” Alexia wipes her nose “Please Y/N”

You don’t answer her, how could you. 

Alexia is alone with for you almost half an hour. Alba knocks gently on the door as not to scare her sister. 

“They can come in” Alexia says like she knows what her sister is about to ask. 

With that rest of the Barcelona girls enter your hotel room. Some go straight to your unconscious form, others watch from afar. 

It’s when Alexia sees Mapi frozen in the door way, much like she was, does she move from your side. 

“She saved my life Maria” Alexia confesses almost like it was a crime. 

“I know” the defender nonchalantly replies. 

“How?” 

“It something she would do. She loves you and I could tell my the way you were acting that there was something more to it than just a car accident” 

“I’m so mad at her. Is that wrong?” Alexia knows that she shouldn’t be mad that you saved her live but the cost of that it sit well with her. Should the worse happen, how could she live with herself. 

“Oh I’m mad at her too Ale. When she wakes up she will have us both to deal with” Mapi tries to lighten the mood knowing that the alternative wasn’t an option. She had to remain optimistic and plan for the future. A future in which you wake up. 

Hours pass, the moon takes place of the sun in the sky and the team get told that visiting hours are over. Unfortunately these rules applied to Alexia regardless of how hard she argues. 

“Ale” Alba grabs her sister’s shoulder “you’ll go home, get showered and get some sleep then we will come first thing in the morning”

“I can’t go home. I can’t go back to our home without her” the vulnerability of Alexia’s current state is not something Alba is used to. 

“Then we will go to mama’s and the three of us will come here together tomorrow”

And that is what happens day in and day out. The Putellas women visit in the Morning, the doctor allows Alexia to stay throughout the day and then the team visits in the afternoon. 

4 days after the accident, the doctors are happy with your progress so they take the breathing tubes out. The hope that was slowly leaving Alexia get reinstilled. 

Everyday Alexia talks to you. She tell you stories about what has been happening in the world. She shares her favourites moments that the two of you have shared over the years. Mapi brings in her iPad and talks you through the tattoo designs she has come up with, even stating which ones you should get. 

When Christmas Eve comes the energy amongst the team is down. So when Jana and Bruna suggest decorating your room for when you wake up everyone agrees it’s a good idea. 

Alexia allows it but doesn’t join in. Every year the two of you decorate your house and doing it without you feels wrong. 

“Mija, why aren’t you helping?” Eli asks as she sees her daughter sitting outside your room instead of with you. 

“I can’t do it anymore” she runs her fingers through her hair in frustration “I have tried to be positive but what if she never wakes up or worse what is she—“ 

“Ale you can’t think like that. Y/N is strong. From what you and the doctor have told me her injuries are bad which is why it is taking so long for her to heal” 

“I really love her and I don’t think I can do this without her” Alexia collapses in her mum’s arms as once again her emotions overwhelm her. 

“I know you do and I know she loves you. Your story isn’t over, this is just a story you will tell your children” Eli says. 

“I will not tell my children how their mother almost died protecting me” Alexia is quick to respond. 

She hopes to never talk about this every again. Once you wake up this can be put in the past. 

“I spoke to the doctors. They said I can stay here tonight with it being Christmas Day tomorrow. Will you and Alba come visit us?” Alexia asks her mum. 

“Of course. Who needs Australia when we can come to the best hospital in Barcelona?“ 

Her mothers joke causes Alexia to laugh maybe more so than necessary. She couldn’t believe how much had changed in just under ten days. You are suppose to be in Australia right now and instead you are fighting for your life. 

When the next morning arrives Alexia feels hopeful for the first time since the crash. It wasn’t just ‘you will be ok’ hope, it’s something different, something more powerful. 

“Merry Christmas Y/N” Alexia kisses your temple. 

“I don’t know what you have got me this year or if you even had the chance to get anything but I want you to know that the only thing I want is for you to wake up. These past ten days have been the worst in my life”.

She wipes her tears for the umpteenth time. 

“I need to see your beautiful eyes, hear your infectious laugh, I need you Y/N” 

Alexia goes to her bag to get your present. The small black velvet box which she had bought almost a year prior is held firmly in her hands. 

“I had plans Y/N” Alexia opens the box to reveal the silver band with a small diamond in the centre. 

“Alba helped me pick it out so I know you’ll like it. She misses you by the way, mum too and Nala, Ay Dios Mío she has no idea what is going on” 

“I love you with all my heart and I planned to go into 2023 with you as my fiancée” Alexia pulls the ring out of the box as she plays with the diamond. 

She then places it on your ring finger, breathing a sigh of relief when it fits perfectly. 

“You suppose to ask me first” your voice is hoarse. 

You slowly open your eyes, squinting slightly due to the brightness of the lights. It takes a few seconds to realise where you are and how you got there but then you remember. 

“The crash. Alexia, are you ok?” You reach for her face. 

“I’m ok, thanks to you. You saved me Y/N” 

You see Alexia start to get emotional. A sight that doesn’t get easier no matter how many times you see it. 

“Come here mi amor” you use all of your strength to move yourself across the bed so she can fit. 

Alexia wants to argue. She wants to tell you to be careful but she is craving your touch. So she buries herself into your side. 

“Careful. That hurts” you tell her and her hand reaches to where the wound on your side is. 

“There was so much blood. I thought I was going to lose you” Alexia has told many people this but it is much harder saying it to you. 

“Hey. We don’t have to talk about it. Let’s talk about this” you hold your hand up for the two of you to look at. 

The ring was beautiful. 

“I bought it last year when we were in Dubai. I was waiting for the right time to ask you” 

“And you thought that now, in a hospital, was the right time” you tease her. 

“I never actually asked you” Alexia rises to the teasing. 

You raise your eyebrow in response. A smirk pulls at your lips as you wait. 

“I love you Y/N. I had so much I wanted to say but I don’t want to waste anymore time. If I have learnt anything in the last few days it’s like life is short and I don’t want to spent another day without you as my fiancée. Y/N Y/L/N will you marry me?”

“I will” it was the easiest answer you have ever given. 

When Alexia shifts her weight you know what is coming. The kiss is likr something you have never experience before. The passion in it makes you emotional and when you feel Alexia’s tears on your cheek you know she must be feeling the same thing. 

“I wished for a miracle and here you are” Alexia pulls away. She lets you hugs her, hold her in your arms whilst reassuring her than you are ok. 

[ghoulgums]

Do you have a Christmas wishlist?

not this year, I couldn’t think of anything I wanted or needed

[sgiandubh]

Ooh, looks like Sam is in Austria with Audi, not sent there by Starz as speculated. Hope your Saturday is great!!

Dear Audi Anon,

Not just Audi, even if you are correct: that snow test drive was sponsored by Audi and can you blame him for doing his promo job? After all, they graciously lent him not one, but several cars. Totally normal business thing.

But also Burton Snowboards, a very ambitious Vermont-based company (and part of a bigger group) which is, currently, the second largest snowboard manufacturer in the US, right after Utah's Backcountry:

The most interesting and positive part of it is that Burton has a worldwide behemoth sales network, with more than 4,300 owned or partner stores (in 2021: https://www.thomasnet.com/articles/top-suppliers/snowboard-manufacturers-suppliers/). Probably a fair bit more than Barbour, who keeps its own network very discreet, communicating only about its presence in 55 countries.

Not the same crowd. But still a very interesting move, despite the 2022 controversy, when Burton was accused of promoting Xinjiang as a Chinese winter sports destination (in the wake of the OGs) and completely ignoring what is pudically named by some 'the Uyghur Problem'. Just noting this in passing, before the others do it with an agenda.