#wish i drew more and with more care put into it but im tired man

[shinewonder]

the teaser trailer

[missblissy]

Heyo! Do you think you could write something for demon al finding out his demon s/o also likes to sing? I love singing and it think it would be really cute to do it with Alastor 🤲🏻

((I would love to nonny! Im sorry for the wait :') I hope you like it! I turned it more into a song fic? Like.... A... double song fic xD??? Anyways I hope you enjoy!! Here and Here are the songs used in this fic!!))

He took a deep breath in and held on to it for as long as he could. The one and only joy he really had within the walls of this hotel was this. If it wasn't for these weekend shows, he might have just killed everyone by now out of sheer boredom. Every weekend, the Hazbin Hotel opened its doors to the general public. The lounge was opened up, tables were set, seats were filled. Dinner and a show were to be served to all who came in those doors. Though not free of charge, much to Charlie's protests. But the hotel had to make money somehow, so Alastor was put in charge of that.

The curtains pulled and opened before him and a spotlight flashed upon him. Alastor smiled wide, "Hello~!" He said in a cheerful tone. He was already scanning the crowd of people, looking for you, "How is everyone doing tonight? Horrible I hope!" The audience let out a little laugh at that. Alastor kept looking around, but the seat you normally sat in had someone else in it. No noticed, but there was a twitch of anger in his smile for a second, "Well! Let's get this show started!" He snapped his fingers and the spotlight turned off. Music started to play and soon enough Alastor transformed himself into a more casual outfit. As the music picked up, his spotlight turned back on and Alastor was half tempted to not sing this song especially if you weren't even here. Well, he did only meet you a few weeks ago, and you only did just started some... flirtationship if you would even call it that.

Oh well. Here goes nothing. Some much for trying to impress you with this, "I heard the time just slips from your sugarplum lips. So I go there just to watch it fall and then my jaw just drops when your cherry lollypops! I get nervous when you bounce my ball~" He gave a charming smile to no one in general, unfortunately. Come on, were you late? No... You knew when the hotel opened....

"I get the strangest sense we were lovers, past tense. Like a dog in heat, I just can't be indiscreet and when I see you there I whisper my prayer so sweet~ I'm getting shaky on my feet, I'm incomplete~" Alastor's mind raced while he sang on autopilot. Maybe he just couldn't see you in dark? Maybe you were all the way in the back? "I'll be your one-man band, I'll be at your command! Just say the word and I'll be your renaissance man, I swear! I'll go where you don't dare, I'll bury this affair deep down in Sugartown~"

Alastor paused with the music, letting the song play only enough for him to take a deep breath and wonder where the hell was his favorite little play thing, "I heard your glass hips swayed while the jitterbugs played. Every man was on his bended knee~ And all my hopes got smashed as my nerve just crashed! I was as heavy as a boy can be." He went on to sing the chorus again, while somehow giving up on looking for you in the crowd at the same time. It was almost too ironic that the next lines fit his feelings perfectly, "And if you just can't do me right, then, honey, please do me wrong! I'll be your one-man band, I'll be at your command! Just say the word and I'll be your renaissance man, I swear I'll go where you don't dare, I'll bury this affair deep down in Sugartown!"

He sang on, with a slight hollowness to his voice that no one picked up on. He didn't move as quickly or flash as big of a smile. Alastor finished his little musical number and left the stage with a round of applause, and quickly someone else took the stage. All kinds of people showed up to sing, to even do comedy (Which Alastor did as well, he just didn't feel like it today. Maybe he should have seeing as you weren't even here.)

There was a special place where Alastor got to sit. In the very front, in a booth with Charlie, Vaggie, and Husk. Nifty was never around for these kinds of things, and Angel often made some kind of sexual escapade out of a song later into the night. When Alastor finally sat down with the rest of the group, he found it very odd that Charlie was bouncing with joy.

"Hi, Al!" She said a little too loud. She got "shh"ed by a few people close by, "Sorry-" She whispered out, "Hi!" She said again to Alastor with a little wave of her hand.

His ever-present smile grew only slightly, "Hello, Charlie. Excited for tonight, are we?"

"Yeah!" She blurted out again, with another round of people hushing her up. So this time she whisper-yelled, "You're in for a great show tonight, Al!"

Alastor flickered his gaze to the stage, the same person was still there trying to make music out of whatever horrible sounds they were making. He looked back to Charlie and raised a brow, "I am?" He asked, "What makes you say tha-"

"Shh! Shh!" Charlie held a finger to her mouth and waved her other hand in the air, "It's starting!" Alastor looked to the stage again, now empty with no lights shining on it.

Music started to play once again, but the lights remained low. He could barely make out someone walking in the darkness of the stage, then suddenly, the lights flashed on and it was you, "You call me on the telephone, you feel so far away. You tell me to come over, there's some games you want to play," You stared him down, eyes lock on no one else but Alastor. Finally, the table have turned, and little did Alastor know that he was going to be the one seduced with a song tonight, "I'm walking to your house, nobody's home. Just me and you and you and me alone~"

You quickly take step after step down the front of the stage, matching your movements to the tempo of the song. It was only a few steps before you stood right in front of the table Alastor, and everyone sat at. But somehow you made him feel like he was the only one in the room, "We're just playing hide and seek, it's getting hard to breathe under the sheets with you~ I don't want to play no games, I'm tired of always chasing- chasing after you~" It was like you a spell on him. Your words were sultry and loose enough for him to read between your lyrics. You even gave him that sneaky little smirk before going on to sing, "I don't give a fuck about you anyways! Whoever said I gave a shit 'bout you? You never share your toys or communicate, I guess I'm just a play date to you~"

You spun on your heel quickly giving a wave of your hand. You were playing hard to get and you knew Alastor couldn't resist. As you made your way back up the long stage, Alastor couldn't even stop himself before he realized he was following you up there. At that moment, he knew everyone was watching him... and you. How entertaining.

Just as he got close enough, you turned quickly to face him and quickly point a finger at him, then press it into his chest to push him away, "Wake up in your bedroom and there's nothing left to say. When I try to talk you're always playing board games," You then quickly moved your hand and grabbed him by his chin. You gave a dirty little smirk and made sure to give him look he couldn't resist, "I wish I had monopoly over your mind, I wish I didn't care all the time. We're just playing hide and seek~ It's getting hard to breathe under the sheets with you! I don't want to play no games, I'm tired of always chasing, chasing after you~"

You walked circles around him, Alastor's eyes hard on you and watching every move. His smile was weak, shaken, and there was a hunger in his eyes you'd never seen but always wanted to, "Ring around the rosy, I never know- I never know what you need~ Ring around the rosy, I want to give you- want to give you what you need~ I don't give a fuck about you anyways. Whoever said I gave a shit 'bout you? You never share your toys or communicate, I guess I'm just a play date to you."

Alastor made an attempt to reach out and grab you, but he was slowly and only half attempted. You spun by him quickly, missing him, and making sure to give him a wink as you avoided him. But you stopped just shy of him, standing dead center. You smiled, then tilted your head slightly and held your hand out for him to take, "You know I give a fuck about you everyday, guess it's time that I tell you the truth. If I share my toys, will you let me stay? Don't want to leave this play date with you~"

There was a loud round of applause, cheering, and whistling. To say he was stunned, walking around like a drooling dog, that would be an understatement. You smiled wide, giggling to yourself as Alastor started to remember where he was. He didn't like all these eyes on him, and especially on you. He looked over his shoulder and saw Charlie and Vaggie laughing, in a good way, at least. They seemed to be enjoying watching Alastor fawn over someone.

That drew the line in the sand for him. He quickly grabbed onto your wrist and with his free hand, he snapped his finger. In a little cloud of smoke and dust, the two of you were gone from the hotel's auditorium. You watched as Alastor poofed the two of you away, and manifested out in the hotel hallways. His grip on you was tight as you giggled at his flustered face.

Your little giggles grew as you asked, "So? Did you lik- Mwh!" Alastor cut you off by slamming his lips into yours. He held onto you, hands gripping your arms as he dragged you in closer to him. You were caught off guard as he pushed you backward until your back was pressed against a wall. He deepened the kiss, hungry for more and more of you. You moaned, falling into his embrace and giving in to his demands.

Alastor pulled only inches away but made sure to press you into the wall, hard, trapping you against him, "I loved it." His words were deep and husky, filled with a desire you've never seen him have before. The low growl in his voice sent chills down your spine and caused your skin to heat up, "But don't ever do that kind of shit with me ever. Again. Understood?"

You stared back at him with wide eyes and lips pressed together. You nodded quickly and watched as his sinister smiles curled onto his lips, "Good," He gave you a small kiss, then teased you by licking your lips. He knee was quickly between your legs as he rested an arm on the wall behind you. He went to the crook of your neck, whispering in your ear, "Now, where were we~?"

[the-faceless-bride]

Older Y/n story

[  ] Chapter 1

The little promises with you~

Shu

I walked into the manner closing my parasol and gently placing it down. When I heard little foot patters down the stairs. Then I felt a little hand grab mine. "Y/n look!" He held up a little cassette tape, "I made a new song list for us to listen to today!" He held the tape to my face waving it around. "How fun, lets you go upstairs, lay down, and listen." He nodded his head and tugged me up the stairs. I rush up with him pulling my skirt up a little so I dont trip.

We get to his room and he sat me on his bed crawling into my lap. He put the tape in the player and clicked play. I lay back lightly stroking his hair. Right as the music was at its climax he mumbled to me in his sleepy state, "Will you always be here for me?" He looked at me with lazy eyes "Of course, I always will where is this coming from?" He didn't answer me, "I just wanna lay here and listen to our music forever Y/n... I love you..." I smiled softly and kissed his forehead "I love you more"

Reiji

Just like the last time I walked to the manner. But when I walked in and closed my parasol Reiji stood at the door he took my parasol and placed it down for me. "Let's go to the library." He put his arm out for you to take. You took it and be walked with you.

Once we sat at a desk he took out the book we have been reading together but then he took out a little notebook. "What is that Reiji?" He looked up small dust of pink "well, I have started to write myself." He lightly tapped the cover of the book "I dont think you would like it..I... Tried to create a fairytale, it's out of my element but I wanted ti to try." He said as he pushed up his glasses "im sure with your experience and knowledge in reading im sure it's exceptional" he froze for a moment before sliding the book to you. As I read I quickly picked up on how this was short stories about things I and Reiji have done together with imagination I found it adorable. "This is the best book of short stories I have ever read."  He smiled softly at that it's nice to see him smile even if it's only a little one. But then he looked down and his smile completely fell. "Do you love me?" He asked out of the blue, I looked at him my eyes slightly wide. "Of course I love you. Why wouldn't I?" He looked over his shoulder before looking down "well... My mother has never said that to me. So you saying that makes me... Happy." He slides his hand across the table lightly playing with your fingers. "One day let's write an amazing story together... Ok," I pushed put his glasses for him booping his nose. "I will gladly write a story with you"

Ayato

Today I wanted to spend time with Ayato but he wasn't around his manner so I went looking for him. I finally found him after almost an hour of looking for him at the lake by his home. He was just staring at the water. "Ayato?" He yelped and spun around to look at me. "Oh hi n/n," he says in a sad tone of voice. "Why so blue Ayato? Penny for your thoughts?" I pulled a little penny out of my dress pocket.

He looks at me and takes the coin "well my mother is mad at me again." He said looking back to the water,  "why? What did you do?" I ask walking closer "i- I can't swim," he says his voice no more than a whisper. I sit there quietly thinking, he seems to notice that. And he turns to me "penny for your thoughts?" He says questioningly as he holds out the penny I gave him "would you like me to teach you how to swim?" He looks somewhat shocked at first. He looks back to the water "ok.." He said.

He turns around as I start to take some of my dress of until I was in my corset stalkings and white undershirt. I set into the water letting him know he can look now. He just takes his white shirt off and waddles in kinda scared. I held my arms out and he found his way into them.

He gripped tightly onto me like a koala. After some time and effort of I placed my hands under him as he made the movements of his limbs. I secretly let him go slowly arms hovering under him but not touching him. "You're doing it." I smile at him, at first he didn't get it but then he realized he couldn't feel my arms under him anymore. "I- IM DOING IT!" he shouted happily as he puppy paddled in circles around me. when he was tired of this he clung to my body again. "Thank you n/n, now I won't be stuck at the bottom of the lake forever! Please stay with me forever okay n/n!" He puffed his cheeks out "All okay Ayato I'll stay" that he smiled with his chubby cheeks and kissed my cheek.

Kanato

We sat under the little gazebo together with our tea tray. Kanato happily ate the pudding I had made beforehand. I, Kanato, and Teddy were having a tea party. I was wearing the pink and purple dress Kanato loved so much.

This but the red is pink and the black is purple

He was sitting next to me and Teddy was next to him.  "Kanato, slow down you'll choke if you dont." I giggle as I use a napkin to wipe some pudding off his cheeks. "I want to eat as much of it as I can, you always make the best pudding and sweets." I ruffled his hair and gave him a caring smile I got up to get us more tea but was stopped by a little hand tugging on my skirt.

I turn around questioningly "do you think im odd?" He asked with doll eyes. "What? No, what brought this on?" He lets out a little sigh before answering "well, mother says that the way I speak and act is strange and my relationship with Teddy is odd." This made my blood boil the nerve of this woman! "You're not odd Kanato, I think the way you talk and act makes you special and I love you for it," I say as I cup and pat his cheeks giving his face a little squeeze.

His hands grip my skirt harder and he shoves his face into it his words somewhat muffed "thank you y/n, this is why you will be the only one I will EVER love." I stroked his hair smiling "say Kanato, would you like to keep this tea set?" He perked up looking at me "k-keep it? Really?" He asked eyes holding a little shine in them. "Of course, and we can have tea parties more whenever you wish." He only grew more excited by his hopping up and down "Yay!"

Laito

I walked looking for Laito when I spotted him oh on... He was with his mother she had her hand on his shoulder close to his neck playing with the hair at the base of his neck. Without thinking I power walked over to them, whether I was angry, discussed or both was beyond me. How dare she put her hands on him the way she does! I know about the little affairs with her son and how she turned their relationship incestuous. She is a disgusting sex-based woman.  I was close when she spotted me letting Laito go and waving him away as she held her hand out to me. "Y/n! My dearest" I played into her game taking her hand and taking it close to my lips and kissing her pale knuckle.

"What brings you here love~," she says leaning back more opening her legs ever so slightly in hopes of tempting me. "Im here for Laito" her complexion faded, she sat up and crossed her legs "he's over in the roses over there," she said bored. Without another word, I walk to him.

"Hello y/n," he said as he brought me a single red rose. "Hello, Laito would you like to go inside with me and some water to put this in for now?" He smiles nodding his head yes.

After putting the rose in a small vase and sitting down he crawled into my lap his head in the crook of my neck snuggling into me. "She keeps doing that..." He said into my neck "who keeps Doing what?" I inquired "mother. She keeps talking with this other man but says she only shows her love to me" I felt small wet drops on my neck he was crying "oh Laito, that isn't love, what she does to you isnt love it's lust. There are other ways to show the love you know." He sniffled looking up at me "there is?" He questioned, "yes, like spending time with each other, listening to music reading a book, or just sitting enjoying each other presents it doesn't have to be physical, especially like that." His eyes shifted down in thought before looking up at me again. "So like us? We spend time together and enjoy being together so is that love? Love is what we are?" He inquired "then I love you y/n," he said arms around my neck I giggled and smiled softly "yes, I love you most laito. You deserve the world." I kissed the side of his head and patted his back. "Good to know," he said his voice below a whisper.

Subaru

I sat with Subaru in my lap making a flower crown as he drew in his little book with his doodles. We sat in silence I knew it was almost my time to go. I couldn't die due to my immortality but I knew I would have to let go of these boys soon. They... Didn't need me anymore. 

Shu never talked and pestered his brother.

Reiji was more like an adult than ever, too wrapped up in his work to bother writing short stories with me anymore.

Ayato went out with his friends from school.

Kanato had shut everyone out and stayed in his room most of the time.

And Laito talked with girls he didn't even give me a single rose anymore.

Subaru was the only one that needed me and once he doesn't it will be my time to leave.

By the time I finished with my thoughts I was finished with the flower crown. I gently placed it on his head and he closed his sketchbook. "Am I scary?" He asked as he looked to the floor. "huh? No, you're not. Who said that?" He let out a harsh breath "some kids at school said that no one likes me cuz' im scary and mad all the time."

"Well, for what it's worth I like you." He looked at me skeptical "you- you do?" His eyebrow raised "yes, in fact, I would even say I love you" his eyes went wide before he let out a little laugh "I love you too."

[squishyapologist]

// im going to start this off by saying that this post will be talking about police brutality, racism, and the death of daunte wright. now, im unfortunately a couple days late to this due to my own mental health issue at the moment and staying off most social media. apologies for that, but i have been educating myself on the current situation and feel educated enough to talk. i like to make sure im not spreading misinformation before i post things like this, because i know that can be almost as damaging as not saying anything at all. 

with all of that said, yet another black man has been murdered by police, and there are once again protests which are being met with police violence.

daunte wright was a 20 year old black man who was pulled over by police on april 11th, and was killed when officer kim potter (who has since resigned along with police chief tim gannon) drew her firearm and shot him once in the chest. 

the officer claimed she mistook her firearm for her taser, and that she hadn’t meant to shoot him, let alone fatally. 

lets talk about why this is a ridiculous defense, and also very likely a flat out lie. 

first of all, the officer in question has over 20 years of police experience, and was responsible for training other officers, and yet she managed to ‘mistake’ her firearm for her taser? if she managed to be an active officer for 26 years and still didn’t pick up on the differences between the weapons she carried, she shouldn’t have been allowed to carry them anyways. that is already negligence and incompetence on the part of the officer.

even if we look past the fact that a glock and a taser weigh and feel differently, there are still multiple differences that should have alerted the officer of her mistake.

her taser was kept on the opposite side of her gun, was bright neon yellow, and her glock has a safety which must be switched off before the discharging of the weapon. not to mention the differences in which a firearm and taser (which again, sat on the opposite side of her belt) are fired, pressure wise.

are we really expected to believe that a 26-year police veteran managed to draw her glock from the opposite side as her taser, switch off the safety, aim, and fire all while still thinking she was holding her taser? disrespectfully, that’s fucking ridiculous. again, if you can’t tell the differences between the weapons you are carrying, you should not be permitted to carry them at all. 

she also broke protocol multiple times during this incident. firing a taser at someone operating a vehicle is not allowed, nor is aiming your taser for someones chest when other, less lethal targets are visible.  

even IF we look past all of that and say that okay, maybe she did make that mistake, that is still manslaughter, and the officer should not only have been fired immediately, but also arrested. instead, she was placed on administrative leave. the fact that she was allowed to resign (the two sentence email in which she did so containing no remorse for the man she had murdered, and only detailing her enjoyment of her job.) peacefully is ridiculous, and once again shows that murder is fine as long as you’re carrying a badge. apparently she is due to be charged, but the fact that it will most likely be a manslaughter charge that she might not even be jailed for is ridiculous, and frankly sickening. 

now, the protests. 

once again, protests have been met with police violence, as well as the national guard being dispatched only a few days in. tear gas and pepper spray were used again protesters despite a restriction against the use of tear gas and chemical irritants being passed by the city council. a rule that was broken by police almost immediately, which honestly, does not surprise me at all. the police are using banned measures to disperse protests, arresting protestors, and a curfew has been put in place which you can now be arrested for violating. these are measures we have seen before in effort to stop protests from happening and suppress the voices of black people who are tired of seeing their community torn apart by cops who think they’re above the law. i will say it again. the police are continuing to use banned measures against protestors. they don’t care about what they’re not allowed to do, they just want to silence you. for those at these protests, be safe. make your voices heard and if you’re white, protect your bipoc friends and fellow protestors. you have privilege, use it. 

what hurts even more is how close this all occurred to the place where the pig who killed george floyd is standing trial. the amount of police violence against black people is genuinely sickening and i can’t imagine how scary and depressing the current state of america must be. if you’re a bipoc, please do take care of yourself during these times. i can’t imagine how damaging this must be to see constantly, and i only wish there was more i could do to help those effected by this violence. 

another thing i feel needs to be addressed is the fact that daunte wright was resisting arrest, and attempting to flee. this has been used by pro-cop people and the right to justify his death. i feel the need to remind people that fleeing, resisting, or otherwise panicking during a high stress situation should not be a death sentence. it is a natural human instinct to attempt to flee or fight when faced with any potentially dangerous situation, and expecting scared, unarmed citizens to remain calm while you allow trained professionals to use the ‘i panicked’ excuse again and again, murder after murder is pure hypocrisy. 

daunte had a warrant out for his arrest (not something the officers were aware of when they pulled him over) but that still does not justify the fact that he was murdered. cops are not judge, jury and executioner. resisting or trying to flee is not an excuse to kill someone. 

i don’t care what excuse the cop, or her boss wants to use. i refuse to believe that she wasn’t aware of which weapon she was holding, and i refuse to believe she holds any remorse for daunte or his family. i think she did what white cops love to do. she murdered a man. a black man who was just scared. the police system is, and always will be a racist system made to oppress people of colour. how many times does this have to happen before people realize that you can’t reform a system that’s rotten to its core. the police are not your friends, and the fact that they continue to break the law that they claim to uphold and get away with it should prove that. they are not on your side, and there is no such thing as a good cop. 

i will be reblogging any resources i can find, and if you would like to contribute please do. feel free to add to this, especially with advice for the protestors or anything i may have missed. however, i will not be engaging in debate or argument with anybody under this post, or on any other post. if you are pro-cop, part of the right, or think that the deaths of black people at the hands of police are acceptable in any way, don’t bother coming anywhere near this post, you will not get the attention or argument you want, you will simply be blocked. 

please direct me towards any petitions, resources, or places to donate so that i can spread them. i can sign petitions however i am unfortunately not in the financial place to donate. i will be spreading places to donate and i will be encouraging those who can do donate, but i do wish i could do more. 

stay safe, and remember, the police aren’t your friends, and there is no excuse for continued police brutality like this. 

take care of yourselves and make your voices heard.

[aster-aspera]

Oleander

Prompt was given to me by @skylarstarlight so blame her for all the angst

Relationship: Logince

Warnings: Major character death, injury, blood, betrayal, angst, technically unsympathetic roman ig? Im going to put that warning here in any case, unhappy ending

If you enjoyed please reblog <3

Roman watched Logan from the back of the tent, admiring the sharp slant of his shoulders, the way his long, curly hair cascaded down his shoulders and unveiled the soft brown skin at the back of his neck. He’d been at it for hours, poring over maps with that concentrated furrow grifted into his face, occasionally bringing up a hand to brush some stray locks out of his face, before he turned all his attention back to the mess of papers on the large hardwood table. 

Roman was technically here to stop him from working, to drag him away from staring at how badly they were losing for just a few minutes and get him to eat some dinner. And those plans were definitely still on Roman’s to-do list, but for just a moment, he let himself stare at the other. They didn’t often get quiet moments in the midst of all the chaos that surrounded them. An advisor always flurrying around Roman, a commander pestering Logan about battle plans or food supplies. Roman wanted to save this little bubble of silence for as long as it could last.

“Are you going to continue to stand there growing mushrooms or are you going to speak?” Logan piped up with a soft chuckle, apparently tired of being stared at. 

“My apologies love, I was just admiring your beauty.”

Logan gave him a tight smile. “I’m sure you have better things to do than simply watch me.”

“Nope,” Roman said brightly, wrapping his arms around Logan enthusiastically and tucking his chin over his shoulder. “Never a wrong time for that.”

Logan sighed but begrudgingly gave into the hold, placing his hands over Roman’s where they were tightly wrapped around his stomach. 

“You should eat,” Roman murmured softly as he swayed them both from side to side. Logan hummed noncommittally. “I have work,” he deflected.

“And you’re of no use to us if you pass out from hunger.”

Logan buried his head in Roman’s shoulder. “It’s not like anyone thinks I’m useful either way,” he mumbled.

Roman looked up at Logan, dislodging his head from his shoulder. “Hey now,” he said firmly, “No one thinks that. You’re really smart and you’ve helped us so much.” 

Logan didn't meet his eyes. “We should eat,” he said shortly, “I need to finish organising these supply runs.”

Roman chewed his lip uncertainly as Logan pulled away from him and headed out the tent towards the campfire, the embers dancing up to the sky in dizzying spirals. 

~

Roman paced from one side of the tent to the other, periodically pushing open the flap to gaze out at the midnight quiet camp. An occasional guard strolled passed, bowing to him before he waved them off impatiently. He huffed and flopped down on the bed, watching the faint luminance of the moon filter through the thick tent fabric. 

He jerked up at the rustling of the tent flap and relief brightened his mood as he saw Logan make his way in. The relief was quickly doused with ice cold dread at the way Logan looked, hair a ragged mess, circles under his eyes so dark they could rival Virgil, bruises and scrapes littering his long limbs. 

“Where the hell were you?” Roman burst out, concern and worry and bittersweet relief forming a toxic mixture in the back of his throat. 

Logan’s expression shuttered close and he drew his arms around himself defensively. “Leading your army, that’s what I was doing,” he hissed out.

“No you weren’t! You disobeyed orders again, you put yourself and our soldiers in danger.”

Logan looked past Roman, his expression blank and unreadable. “Of course, and the people we tried to help, what about them?”

Roman sighed in frustration, running his hand through his hair. “I know Lo, I know it sucks, but people are always going to get hurt. And you can’t just run out there and pretend you know better than everyone else.”

“Do you think,” Logan murmured softly, eyes still glued to where a patch of crass crept in under the walls of the tent, “that maybe we’re not the ones in the right here?” 

Roman stiffened. “I’m trying to protect my kingdom. Don’t you dare try and tell me that's wrong.”

Logan finally looked back at him, those deep, night dark eyes staring into him. “How many people have been killed in your meaningless quest of stubborness and glory, how many more people are going to lose their homes and their children? That’s your kingdom, not those spoiled nobles in their pretty palaces.”

“And what do you suggest I do then?” Roman hissed back venomously, “Just let those invaders in? So that they can lock us up in cells or behead us? Is that really what you want?”

“Maybe it is,” Logan whispered, mournful eyes boring into Roman’s. He turned on his heels and walked out the tent, coat flaring behind him, hair spilling past his shoulders like the pitch black river of Styx.

It was the last time they were together in their shared tent. An abrupt end to the cold nights they spent curled up so tight together they could barely breathe. An abrupt ending to the lazy mornings when Logan would card a hand through Roman’s hair as he read, and Roman would sleep as long as he possibly could. An abrupt end to Logan pressing kisses all over Roman’s body and telling him he was beautiful. 

Roman tried not to stare at his slender hands as they pointed out places on maps. Tried not to quail under that sharp, piercing gaze as it swept over him, barely giving him a second glance before he snapped out an order that ended up ignored. They had all noticed Logan wasn’t in good graces with the prince anymore and it seemed all they had been waiting for to right out shun and scorn him.

Every day, Roman could see the lines in Logan’s shoulder tense more, his face harden and the curious gleam to his eyes dull. 

Roman turned away every time, too much of a coward to face him.

And one day, he didn’t see him at all. Not at the meetings, not anywhere in the camp. He asked around, trying not to appear as worried as he was and the others just shrugged, refusing to meet his eye.

His bed was stripped bare from the tent he had been sharing with others, all his possessions presumably packed away and taken with him. 

Roman tried not to show his worries. Logan was a grown man after all, and he had made his position here perfectly clear. He could handle himself. 

But it didn’t stop Roman from missing his eyes and his careful touch and soothing voice. He wished things had gone differently, but he knew that one fight was merely the match that lit the fuse already soaked in kerosine. Merely the spark to set off the feelings Logan had been hiding away for so long. 

And after seeing how the others treated him, Roman couldn’t really fault him for it.

Roman slipped out of the camp, as the heavy monsoon rains gentled into a soft drizzle, the warmth of the afternoon turning the night foggy. Logan’s letter sat tucked in his pocket, held near to his heart, which was beating in a mixture of hope and apprehension. It had been four months, four months since Logan had stormed out of their tent, leaving Roman with an empty bed and an empty heart. He walked silently through the forest, the occasional leaf crunching underfoot as around him the canopy rustled from the rain it caught. He followed the familiar path from memory alone, a soft smile curling his lips as he remembered sneaking out at midnight to go watch the stars with Logan. 

He stepped into that familiar clearing, looking up at the sky in hopes he would spot some of the stars Logan had pointed out for him, but all he saw were the thick grey clouds. His eyes drifted down and he saw Logan, standing in the middle of the clearing, one single lantern casting a circle of light around him, his hair misted with rain. He brushed his glasses dry with the sleeves of his coat and placed them back on his nose. 

Roman walked up to him, unsure why Logan had asked him to come here and scared of what he would say. Logan watched him come, face blank and expressionless.

“Roman,” he greeted, and where once his name had sounded warm and fond on those lips, it now sounded cool and cordial.

“Logan,” Roman replied, and he couldn’t hide the hope in his voice, the hope that this would be an apology, that everything could go back to the way it had been.

“I’m here with an offer,” Logan said, his words formal and serious, so unlike the nicknames and jokes they used to share. “The people are tired of the war. It has only brought them pain and loss. I ask you to end it, give in now and you shall not be harmed. You and your court shall be safe and more capable rulers shall take over the kingdom.”

Roman’s heart froze at those words, uttered so matter of fact. As if the years of his life, the effort and pain he had put into winning this war and keeping his kingdom safe meant nothing. As if he was the one in the wrong here.

He had come here to hear Logan’s apology. He had expected him to admit how much he missed him and that he was wrong and then he would have taken Logan into his arms and everything could have been right again. 

But no, here he stood, resolute, so self assured and infuriating. 

A breeze blew past and the lapels of Logan’s coat lifted, revealing the crest proudly emblazoned on the flags of their enemies, the crest that Roman had been taught to hate. Fury filled him at the sight.

“You’re with them,” he growled, grabbing the coat and displaying the crest for all the world to see. The forest around them didn’t seem impressed. 

“I’m on the side with the least blood on their hands,” Logan said calmly, pushing his glasses further up his nose, “Which you have never been.”

Roman shook his head. “You’re working with the enemy. I trusted you!” His fist tightened on the thick wool fabric.

“Roman please,” Logan said softly, emotion filtering into his voice for the first time, “You’ve been taught by everyone around you that this is what you have to do, that this is your birthright, but they’re wrong. You can choose your own destiny.”

He drew himself up to his full height, looming over Roman. “Take the offer and we can leave this kingdom together. We can build our own life.”

Roman shook his head. “No,” he choked out as tears welled up in his eyes, “No! you’re just… You’re trying to trick me. You never loved me or you wouldn’t do this.”

“Roman,” Logan said gently, cloying sympathy in his voice and Roman could only feel that burning, corrosive rage in his gut, his mouth tasted sour and he could barely see through his anger. Logan gasped suddenly and stumbled back a few steps, his eyes widening in shock and betrayal.

Roman let go of his coat and looked down, his mind registering the ornate handle of a familiar knife, and blood pooling on the navy vest. He looked up, mouth opening and closing mutely, as if Logan could explain. As if he could tell him why there was a knife in Logan’s gut. Why was it his knife. Plunged in so deep only the hilt still showed.

“No,” Roman whispered as Logan sank to the ground, a high keen tearing itself from his lips.  

He breathed in raggedly, hands curling on the forest floor, dirt staining those slender hands. He looked up at Roman, eyes pleading, scared. 

“Please,” he choked and Roman backed away as he reached out a hand to him, reaching for anything that could save him. Blood pooled around his body, the heavy wool of his coat darkening almost imperceptibly as the leaves around him turned red. “Roman,” he rasped and Roman had never heard Logan sound afraid like that.

He kneeled down, dirt muddying his pants and reached out to take Logan’s hand. He pulled away at how cold his skin was. 

“You betrayed me,” he whispered and Logan only continued breathing those ragged, gasping breaths, eyes staring into the middle distance. “It’s not my fault,” he said, because it couldn’t be. Logan was wrong. Logan had betrayed him.

But then why did it hurt so much?

“You never loved me!” Roman burst out. “Come on, just say something! Don’t just lie there!” He yelled because Logan was never this quiet. He always had something smart and stuck up to say. 

“Say something,” Roman pleaded and Logan shuddered, eyes glazed over as they stared up at the sky. 

Roman looked up, to a sky as dark and cloudy as Logan’s eyes. A sky that once was filled with stars and was now flat and empty.

“Logan?” he whispered softly, reaching out to take his hand. Logan didn’t react, he just stared up at that empty sky and Roman felt an ache spread in his chest as he curled his fingers around Logan’s palm, brushing off the dirt.

[pbandjesse]

Oh man I am very tired. I didn't sleep well at all. But its fine. I am just really glad to be in my own bed at home. James is here! And I got word that dad is home and doing better! Makes me feel a lot more secure and safe knowing that.

I had a lot of trouble sleeping. I had a nice time laying in the Danali cabin. And Mora came back not long after 11 so I was able to go back to arts quickly. But it took me forever to get comfortable and fall asleep. My ear hirt. I couldn't get my earring out and it woke me up a few times before I was able to like. Rip it from my head. I just couldn't sleep or get comfortable and it just wasn't a fun night for me.

I woke up at 7 and was really upset. I knew I had to shake it off though. I got myself together and tried my best. I got theme together. But then Chris was like. Oh were already doing bottle flip challenge. Except his didn't have the game board. So I don't actually know what they did. Whatever.

They were setting up the bouncy house. But only daycampers were allowed in and the overnight kids were upset about it. And they didn't even let us have cotton candy. I made some threats about that!!

I helped pick up sports equipment before I went to breakfast. It was french toast and it was pretty good. And then I just spent a little time resting before my group came.

They were an excellent group. I had a lot of fun sewing today honestly. I had to pivot a lot. Because groups just are not bringing the fabric I cut for them. Some are but its not the majority and its been very frustrating.

But I had a good time making stuff with the kids. I had a long break after that first group. So I went to hang out with Charlie.

I helped with trading post. We had a water shooter and there were lots of laughs. We drew on the walls. Had snacks. And eventually went and had lunch. Which was salad and was such a weird choice for the kids? But it was good.

The funniest part about lunch was that they had ambrosia salad and trying to explain to everyone what that was. And why it wasn't the weirdest thing was hilarious to me. I wish they didn't put sunflower seeds in it but the rest was good.

The afternoon had two groups. They all worked hard and I had a great time with them. But the heat was a lot. It was just so hot.

I would go sit in the office. And see Erin taking a turtle on a walk. Which was a highlight of the day. And I went to go hold and pet the bunnies and they were just so soft. It was great. Just an excellent day.

I headed out as soon as I could though. A storm was coming in. And I wanted to go home before it got bad.

I made a stop for Starbucks and fries. And it was honestly wild watching the lightening on the way back. But the storm wouldn't happen in errnest until I was back here. Thankfully.

I brought stuff in and James still had an hour of work. So I did some styling. And took a shower. I unpacked the stuff I brought home. And painted my nails. And now I am just ready to start winding down. I hope to sleep early tonight. Well see what happens.

Tomorrow I have work until noon and then Im going to go to the dmv to return our license plates. And then its time to get the car packed up for camping on Friday! I am excited.

I hope you all have a great night tonight. Take care of yourselves!!

[vanillamilkcloud]

UNDER THE TREE || RM

pairing: Single Dad! RM x Baker! Reader

word count: 2,497

tags: fluff, some cookies were burnt, flour got in some spots, theres hot cocoa, domestic as hell, christmas obviously.

summary: after a visit to their favorite baker, Namjoon cant wrap presents for his boys. so with snagging your number some previous hours ago he decides to call for some help.

Kids were always hard, no matter what anyone did to try and help. Especially having two and also being a single dad. Though Namjoon had a way with the two that almost everyone wished they had with their kids. He had coaxed the boys into waking up this morning only to have them instantly asking about going to the bakery. It had become a sort of routine, once a week he’d show up at the door and instantly Hoseok would babble about everything he wanted while Yoongi pointed to things while hiding behind Namjoon’s leg. 

And that was exactly your situation right now. Covered in flour, and some frosting on your cheek, standing behind the counter of the store.

“I want this and this and a cake pop and cake!” Hoseok giggled happily, his gloved hands pressed against the glass happily. Namjoon looked at you apologetically before glancing at what his son wanted.

“Cookie, you know you cant have all of that-” The blonde male had only started to speak before he saw you walking around the counter, handing the 4 year old a cake pop. At 8am, might you add. His baby voice was too hard to resist giving the sweets to him.

“Says who?” You gave an equal smile to the toddler’s as he squealed.

“Thank you noona!” He had already devoured the sweet in a happy fit of giggles. You couldn’t help but giggle at the bits of chocolate around his mouth. For a moment you had thought you heard Yoongi speak, only to be correct as he held his arms up. Namjoon chuckled softly. 

“Sugar, what are you doing?”

“I want up.” He murmured, taking his chance to hide behind you now. You shrugged then picked up the small boy. Yoongi had instantly nuzzled into your chest, his little cheeks red from the cold. It made you frown though you knew you couldn’t help it.

“Can I give them mini mugs of hot cocoa Joonie?” You asked, fluttering your eyes in that way you knew would make Namjoon give into you. He let out a small groan as you looked absolutely perfect to him right now, and like the kids were actually both of yours. But Namjoon hadn’t had the courage to ask you yet to see if this relationship could actually.. be something. He had to think about plenty of other things right now besides having his bed warm again, and the boys having a mom finally.

“Do you even have mini mugs?”

You grinned happily before nodding, walking behind the counter with Yoongi in your arms and Hoseok trailing behind you. It was a bit hard to lean downward before pulling out two baby mugs and some straws. You put them on the counter carefully. “I got them just for these two little dudes. Just make sure to bring them when you guys come.”

Yoongi made grabby hands at one of them, so you let him take the cup. His eyes held a type of curiousity you hadn’t ever actually seen in him. The boy was generally shy and quiet but you seemed to understand now how Namjoon managed to know what he wanted constantly. It was rather cute in your eyes as you could catch Hoseok almost drooling over all the pastries behind the glass, and then whining as he wanted up too. You couldnt carry the both of them though. 

Namjoon on the other hand, was more than happy with his open fawning over you. You were such an angel with the boys and it made him more than happy with his trips. Hoseok was more than ready to expose his dad though.

“Daddy staring!” He giggled brightly, looking up to his dad through the glass. It caused a chain reaction as Yoongi was more than happy to join in. “Does dada like noona?” 

A bright blush covered the male’s cheek in an instant. He was quick to recover though as you couldnt help but to laugh while filling up the two mugs, hanging mini candy canes off the edge. “No, I dont like _____ Sugar.” Namjoon replied.

“Not what Uncle Jinnie said!”

Namjoon facepalmed, shaking his head with a groan. He’d need to have a serious talk with that man later. “Uncle Jinnie tricked you okay? What do you want for breakfast?”

That seemed to change the topics easily, you placing the hot chocolates in Namjoon’s hands to cool off before letting the boys point while behind the glass. Both of them seemed rather happy to have your candy cane donuts, the one treat youd serve only on Christmas Eve and Christmas. Namjoon had asked for his usual strawberry bagel with cream cheese, so then you were free to go back to the kitchen once more. 

“Byebye noona!!” The boys called out, making you grin. 

“Youll see me next week, this isnt bye babies!” You replied. Namjoon couldnt help but laugh as the two were instantly excited all over again. Except, he came here to do something too, so he came up to the window to your kitchen quickly.

“Wait, ___,” The blonde seemed shy, but you couldn’t help but to smile at him.

“Did you forget something?” 

He gave you a nod, and you looked at him curiously. “I forgot your number, can you give it to me again?”

The words that fell out of his mouth made you laugh, as you had essentially walked into him saying that yet you still felt dumbfounded. How was he that smooth? "Mm, give me your phone then, I'll put it in." 

Namjoon complied with the words as he was smiling happily; a few of the customers in the store seemed to only cheer for him. You wanted to run away from the situation but you couldn't deny him like that! On Christmas Eve either, you had no hope. Within a few moments you handed the phone back with a bit of flour over the case.

"Oh lord, I'm sorry. I didnt mean to get flour on it."

"Don't be," Namjoon grinned. "Im used to you leaving flour prints on what you touch by now."

He gave you a wave, and went back to his kids. You hummed softly as you went into the back of the store before finding yourself trying to quietly squeal. Namjoon had actually asked you for your number! What you didn't know was that everyone had actually heard your little squeal, and it couldnt help but make everyone laugh as you fawned over your crush. Everyone knew for ages that you both had a thing for each other and now it seemed to get somewhere.

After a long day at work, and perhaps burning a few things in your distraction, you’ve finally made it home. The call of your bed seems almost instantly heeded. But there’s other things you need to do.

Namjoon, on the other hand, is struggling to wrap presents. He had taken quite some time just to wrap simple box shapes and now this gift wrapping thing seemed impossible to him. There was blankets and stuffed animals to be wrapped still, along with pillows and bed sheets that Hoseok had wanted because of them being PJ Mask themed. It was also an issue of he didn’t happen to have enough paper to finish wrapping anything. The blonde combed a hand through his hair with a soft groan; He couldn’t leave the house to get any extra paper because then nobody was home with the boys. The male also didn’t want to leave them with anyone, so he scrolled through his phone contacts, clicking your name with a soft hum.

“Hello?” You asked, clearly a bit tired so Namjoon was almost tempted to hang up then and there.

“Hey _____.” He chuckled softly as he once again couldnt figure out how to wrap the damned elephant plushie.

“Oh, hi Joonie! What’s up?”

“I, um, well. I can’t wrap the kids presents so I thought you might be able to help. I don’t happen to have any paper or that left either, and I cant leave to get any.” Namjoon sighed softly as he tossed the paper in the trash once again, leaning against the sofa as he sat on the floor. “I swear I’ll pay you back for it, I just didn’t know who else to call.”

You giggled through the line, pretending to think in silence. It was almost audible how nervous he was. “I can come help. Can you text me your address then?”

“Yeah I can, thank you so much.”

The line went dead after that, as Namjoon sent you their address. He took the opportunity to go check on the boys. It had to be quick because Yoongi was a light sleeper unless Hoseok happened to move into his bed. Namjoon was certain those two would be inseperable later on, so he never bothered to seperate them. He opened the door quietly after making sure the hall light was off, only to chuckle as the boys were indeed under one blanket. With similar quietness he shut the door once again before walking to the kitchen and starting to brew a pot of coffee. The father didn’t happen to have any more hot chocolate either right now, as much as he knew you had a preference for the drink.

Namjoon let his thoughts wonder about you as he drew two mugs out of the cabinet, and not mini ones this time. The house was quiet besides the gentle christmas songs playing on the radio. Gingerbread had filled the air as hours ago the boys insisted to make gingerbread men for Santa, even left out with the milk on a plate with their notes. They were such precious things to him, the father felt a bit sad to realize that this is what their mother had decide to miss out on. But he also was happy because she wasn’t the type of woman to enjoy this type of stuff. She’d simply go about her business as she please. It was like a household housing two seperate families. 

The knock on the door pulled Namjoon out of his mind, and he quickly answered it before you could knock again. Snow had covered your hat, the bits of your hair that decided to peek out under it, and on your shoulders. He was quick to let you in, even taking the bags of gift wrap and tape and perhaps a gift for each of the boys.

“Thank you so much-” He smiled warmly, rubbing his temples as he sat the bags on the sofa. You shook your head at him.

“Don’t thank me you dork. I’m more than happy to help you with anything.” The words were perhaps a bit more implying than what either of you cared to admit, but Namjoon was still happy none the less. Once you were free of your extra layers you took out the rolls of gift wrap and tape. You also made sure to put your gifts under the tree too.

Namjoon watched as you didnt bother to speak in your focus now. He couldn’t help but to admire your small form in his living room, almost expertly wrapping each thing he had struggled with. You simply didn’t want him to notice the bright blush on your cheeks. It made you excited to actually be here as much as it didn’t feel the same without the boys. You had spent so much time around them as a group that you felt shy when you both were alone.

“Here’s some coffee, since the boys drank all the hot chocolate.” Namjoon’s voice made you squeak, and he couldnt help but laugh brightly. His grin made his dimples show; you wanted to kiss him right there but you knew better.

“Thank you.” You whispered. The girly girl in you was practically squealing with how close he was. A yawn passed Namjoon’s lips as your hands held the elephant plushie that he didn’t have patience for only about an hour ago. He looked tired, but he didn’t want to have you leave. Your fingers worked in a quick motion to wrap it like a giant candy. WIth the use of scissors you even made the ends all pointy. 

“Ill put them under, you can stay the night if you want.” Namjoon hummed, watching you look up at him curiously. The face you held seemed to depict that you were nervous to him. “I won’t do anything, at least right now.”

“What do you mean right now?” You looked more puzzled now. Namjoon facepalmed as he realized the words slipped before he had stopped it.

“Um, well, you see.” He started off, once again making you chuckle. You couldn’t read him often but this seemed to be one of the rare moments you could. Kim Namjoon was embarrassed and he couldnt change the topic. Hoseok and Yoongi were often his way of avoiding conversations like these with you. But they were fast asleep. “Consider it your Christmas present, but I’ve liked you for quite some time now. The boys even like you too. It means the damn world to me because I love those two to death and they almost always get excited as soon as I mention you.”

You couldn’t help but to blush with his confession, but it made you grin none the less. “Are we sure that isn’t because I give them sugar every time they come?” 

Both of you exchanged a bright laugh at the words. The boys were only 4 and 5, of course sugar could buy their hearts in an instant. Namjoon couldn't help but to smile at you in such a pure adoration.

“No, because they dont touch much of the pastries we have unless we make them ourselves, or we got them from you.” The father replied. “And also, I’ve known you’ve liked me for awhile.”

This was your turn to groan. “Since when!” You whined, rubbing your temple with your fingers.

“The squeal when you gave me your number. I had just gotten up to leave with the boys when I heard it.” 

You pouted softly, knowing that was probably the most obvious of times that you definetely had something for him. This you couldn’t try to deny either. “Okay fine, perhaps I’ve liked you for awhile now too.”

Namjoon smiled brightly, pulling you into a hug. There was something different about this though. It felt much more warm and loving than when he would be forced to hug you because of his kids. Only when you yawned did he realize you really needed to go to sleep, so he picked you up without a warning. The simple action made your heart swell as you realized this was probably one of the best things to happen just in time for the holidays.

[are-you-jungood]

Hoodie Chapter 3

Shownu X Reader

Author’s Note: 

Special thanks to @xoktie on picsart for making this amazing edit for me!! Go check her stuff out if you have the chance, she never disappoints!!

Also ya’ll can re-blog, just please don’t re-post somewhere else! If you do, at least credit me (please and thank you)! Also, I’m so sorry about this bar scene. I’m 18 so I’ve never been in one, so the description of the server/customer dynamics and norms may be a little off lmao. Other than that, enjoy!!

Brief Recap:

You were dead tired from throwing yourself into your work by the time Minhyuk started packing up to leave.

“Are you coming out drinking with us tonight?”

You were half tempted to decline because of how exhausted you were, but you figured one beer wouldn’t hurt too much.

“Sure! Who else is going?”

“Hoseok, Kihyun Yoo and Hyungwon Chae from marketing, Jooheon Lee and Changkyun Im from the Analytics department. A bunch of girls from accounting are tagging along as well.”

... You had a feeling tonight was going to be interesting, but nothing could’ve prepared you for what was going to happen next. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You pulled into the parking lot of the bar. It was 8:00 pm on a Thursday, but the place was already packed. You spotted Minhyuk waving at you from the back and made your way over, skirting around the crowded dance floor in the process. 

“Look who finally made it!”

Minhyuk came over and put an arm around your shoulder sloppily, clearly already a few drinks in, and walked you to an empty seat at the table where the rest of the group was seated. As you sat down, you noticed that the pitcher on the table that was once full of beer was now being emptied into Jooheon’s glass.  You laughed and said in fake annoyance, “What, you didn’t save any of that for me?” Jooheon looked at you seriously for a second and then busted out in his best aegyo. You couldn’t help but laugh at his adorable pout. Huffing a sigh of defeat, you said, “Fine, I guess I’ll go order another pitcher for the table.” Everyone cheered at that and you left your friends, feeling like some sort of hero.

As you waited for the nice bartender to fill up your pitcher, you couldn’t help but overhear the loud conversation of the two girls sitting next to you.

“He’s so hot, right? Like, super manly hot!” 

The girl next to her leaned over and fake whispered, “Yes! He could scramble my eggs any day.”

Out of pure curiosity as to what this person would look like, you turned your head to find the poor soul that they were gawking at was actually Hyunwoo. He had just come through the door and was making his way toward your table of friends.

“Oh, God. Why is this happening? I’m not drunk enough to handle this.”

You turned back around and accepted the full pitcher of beer from the bartender. Tentatively, you made your way back to your friends and sat the pitcher on the table. Surprisingly, only Hoseok and Jooheon noticed your arrival. The rest of the group was busy peppering Hyunwoo with questions (including three girls from the accounting department who were practically throwing themselves at him).

One of the girls started giggling at something Hyunwoo said as another put a hand on his arm. Another one tossed her hair to the side and looked at him flirtatiously as she said, “So, I heard you went to X University. That’s a notorious party school, right? Were you a frat boy?”

You restrained yourself from letting out a groan at this superficial, and frankly vomit inducing, flirting.

Hyunwoo however, being a simple man, did not pick up on any of these flirtatious actions.

“Well, we were known for our partying, but it’s actually a really good school. I rushed a fraternity the summer of my sophomore year, but I found out I cared about our school’s dance club a lot more.” 

The girl who asked gave a bit of a disappointed look at hearing this and seemed to lose interest. After a stretch of silence, she got up and left with the lame excuse of needing to powder her nose. It was this point in the conversation, however, that you suddenly gained a lot more interest.

-------------------------------5 years earlier-----------------------------------

You had met Hyunwoo freshman year in your UNI100 class. You both happened to be the really quiet people sitting at the back of the class, hoping not to get called on. You never even looked twice at him until the day of your first dance club meeting. He was all shy smiles and sun kissed skin before the music started playing. He commanded the attention of the entire room the second he started moving. Each turn, glide, and hip thrust left the entire room hungry for more. When his powerful performance finally drew to a close, every single head was turned in his direction. His breathing was heavy and he was completely soaked with sweat as he made his way over to the side to sit and watch the others perform.

 You had joined the club begrudgingly at the persistent pestering of your best friends who were in it. You weren’t a good dancer like they were, so you opted for the more technical side of things and took on the job of setting up the sound system and coordinating everyone's songs as well as being everyone’s emotional support and cheerleader at competitions. When you saw Hyunwoo dance that day, it stirred something in you that you had never experienced before. He moved with such heartrendingly beautiful grace despite the amount of power and force put in his movements that you couldn’t help but be a little bit curious as to who this Hyunwoo was. 

You didn’t have the guts to talk to him after that practice, but one day in your UNI100 class he happened to forget his pencil and you were more than happy to oblige him. This got you both talking about the club, your majors, life in general, and the rest is history.

-----------------------Present--------------------------------------

Hoseok snapped in front of your face, drawing you out of your thoughts. 

“Earth to (y/n)! What’s up with you, today? You’ve been spacey since lunch.”

He scooted closer to you, feeling your forehead with the back of his hand saying, “You’re not catching a cold, are you? You know you don’t have to work so hard all of the time. It’s okay to take a break every once in a while.”

You huffed in slight annoyance at his fussing (even though you enjoyed it just a little) at swatted his hand away.

“I’m fine. It’s just been a long day of revisiting things from my past that I thought I had let go of.”

Subconsciously your eyes wandered over to Hyunwoo who was sat between Minhyuk and Kihyun acting as a sort of referee for the drinking game the two were playing. Hosek, being the astute observer he was, followed where you were looking and let out a slight gasp at the connection he made.

“That’s not-”

 “Yup.”

You took a sip of your beer and stared up at the ceiling, trying to hold back the tears that started to sting your eyes. You didn’t realize how much you had been holding in until now. Hoseok, picking up on your sudden mood change, suggested the two of you go on the dance floor and let go for a bit. You agreed with the condition you could take your beer with you,  seeing as you didn’t have a better idea. You weren’t going to let old history ruin your night, especially when you have a caring friend like Hoseok. You danced your heart out, forgetting about all of your problems for a while and threw yourself into the pulsing beat of the here and now. The night continued on, one beer turned to five, and you were stumbling over yourself and slurring your words when Hoseok and Minhyuk finally cut you off. 

“Are you good to drive Minhyuk? I’ve got room in my car if you need a ride.”

“That’s okay, I got an uber. They should be pulling up soon. See you at the office.”

Hoseok waved goodbye to him and turned to you.

“You are definitely in no shape to drive. I’m taking you home and I’ll come by tomorrow morning to pick you up for work so you’re not stranded.”

All you could get out was a strangled grunt in assent as he half-dragged/half-carried you toward the door. 

You had just made it to the front of the building before a familiar voice called out to the two of you. You turned around quickly and sloppily which didn’t help everything stop spinning. You clutched at Hoseok’s arm to keep from falling over and squinted to see Hyunwoo carrying a semi-passed out Kihyun on his back.

“Do either of you know where Kihyun and Jooheon live? They’re both passed out and won’t tell me their address, so I can’t take them home. Changkyun was supposed to be their DD but he bailed to hookup with some chick.”

Hoseok sighed a little and said, “I know where those two idiots live. I would give them a ride, but that’s in the complete opposite direction from (y/n)’s apartment and she’s in no shape to drive herself, let alone be left on her own here.”

“ I can drive her. I don’t have enough room in my car to fit those two in it anyway.”

They both looked at you, assessing your condition, when finally Hoseok said, “I don’t really know if I’m comfortable with that, we just met and all and you don’t know where she lives so-”

“It’s the same apartment on Dodd street, right? Number 7?”

Hoseok blinked, trying to come up with a better reason to refuse him when you spoke up and slurred out, “Just let him take me, ‘seokie  [hiccup]. How much worse can it get? I just want to go to bed~”

Hoseok stood there for a few more seconds before he sighed and said, “Alright, fine. But only because this situation couldn’t be helped because I can’t remember both of their literal addresses. (y/n), call me when you get in so I know you’re okay.”

You nodded your head, despite it feeling like lead, and walked out with the boys to the parking lot. Hyunwoo put Kihyun down in the passenger seat and buckled him in as Hoseok did the same to Jooheon in the backseat. They were both sleeping like babies, much like you wished you were.

Hyunwoo turned and looked directly at you (the first time all night, to your recollection) and asked, “Are you ready to go? I parked over there. Do you think you’ve got it, or do you need help.” 

You moved to protest, but your legs were a lot heavier and unsteadier than you remembered, so you stumbled into him instead. He caught and steadied you before he picked you up bridal style and carried you off to his car, saying something to Hoseok about leaving. As soon as your head hit the headrest, sleep consumed you. 

You didn’t wake up when he pulled up to your building, or when he somehow managed to carry you to the door of your apartment. You did, however, wake up long enough to dig your keys out of your purse to give to Hyunwoo, but slipped immediately back into that sweet blackness shortly thereafter.

You woke the next morning to the painfully loud ringing of your alarm clock. You slammed the off button and rolled over, sighing in annoyance and pain. Getting, up you shuffled quickly to the bathroom, a wave of nausea hitting you at the smell of breakfast being cooked in the kitchen. When you finished in the bathroom, you made your way to the kitchen, shielding your eyes from the painfully bright light that seemed to be everywhere. You were just about to chastise your roomate for cooking such smelly food when you have a major hangover when you realized it wasn’t Emma but Hyunwoo who was manning the stove.

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[spirit-of-the-void]

Ebony and Ivory (V x Reader Fanfic) Chapter 39

Author’s notes: This chapter took me a fucking week to write and im BEAT. No cutting chapters in half, we die like men.

Chapter 39

(Vergil POV)

Who the hell is that?

Vergil stared in blank confusion at the newcomer, not recognizing him in the slightest. Was this supposed to be another god, one who existed with the Outsider among the endless darkness of the Void? He...didn’t seem like it. This man was rugged in appearance, his eyes a clear brown and hair dark with hints of gray. Older in age, grizzled with an unshaven face and an air of tired annoyance as he stared at the black-eyed God. Speaking of that, this newcomer had normal eyes, and no appearance of ethereal energy to suggest he was anything other than human--nothing seemed amiss minus the clear mark of the Deity on his hand, glowing lightly so close to his presence. But how had he gotten here when the God clearly seemed surprised, and why did the Outsider look like he had been caught red-handed doing something he wasn’t supposed to be? 

What is going on?

Among the chaos swirling in his head, mingling with the sound of V protesting his choices and voicing that guilt and agony eating them alive...this new surprise definitely wasn’t appreciated, or needed. An interruption had arrived and prolonged his punishment, which was something Vergil found a twinge of exhausted annoyance in. God, he was so tired. Not himself, not sure who “Vergil” was anymore. Guilt was such a new thing, one he spent so long avoiding and pretending wasn’t there. It now bloomed inside him like vines gripping every organ, suffocating each breath and making his heart thud painfully. He had done wrong by you, by everyone in his life. Years and years of pride and foolishness had blinded him into thinking one way, plunging into fear and cowardice like they somehow protected him. 

They never did, and he was always found wanting.

The Outsider had opened up those wounds with serrated blades, flayed him alive and leaving him to bleed upon the ground. Vergil would have gladly gave every drop of that blood to you, like it would have somehow repaired the damage he did all those years ago. It never would, of course. How would he ever be able to look Nero in the eyes after this, and see every way he had wronged the boy? Causing the destruction of his mother, abandoning them in Fortuna, ripping off his arm for some selfish idea of power...Every encounter he had with the white-haired demon hunter had been rife with agony, and Vergil knew now that Nero’s hatred of him was far more deserved than previously anticipated.

He would live with that hatred, that agony. Now he only wished this newcomer would let him get to it.

Vergil, please--

He ignored V, staring between the Outsider and the unfamiliar man as the God visibly flinched. His black eyes widened, jaw tightened in a visible display of discomfort that shocked the son of Sparda. Who was this grizzled man, one who clearly had a hold over the black-eyed bastard? The stranger in question crossed his arms, narrowing his brown eyes at them both and seeming heavily displeased all things considered. This was all growing very confusing, Vergil half expecting another God or something to show themselves and stop the Outsider, not someone so unassuming and normal. Could the God sweat? He sure seemed like he was on the verge of it, almost sulky as he finally released his grip on Vergil and letting him collapse in an unceremonious heap on the floor.

The impact hurt, but Vergil couldn’t care less. He was resting on his knees again, body aching and lungs feeling like they had been doused in ice water. Why wouldn’t they just get on with his torture, so he didn’t have to listen to V yelling at him anymore? This is growing so tiring. The God paid him no mind, turning away to look at the dark-haired man and clasping his hands behind his back. Was that a nervous tick, the way his fingers tapped lightly in sets of three on his own skin? Seemed like it.

“What are you doing here?” The Outsider replied flatly, seeming definitely sulky as he kept that little tick going beyond the stranger’s view, “I did not summon you forth, and you are supposed to be aiding Emily with the young ones, are you not?”

The strange man rolled his eyes at the Outsider’s irritated tone, not seeming impressed or intimidated in the slightest bit. He merely rose a thick brow, muscles bunching and relaxing under his black jacket in a show of his athletic build. This man had seen combat, and it showed down to the little pink, faded scars on his face to the callouses on his fingertips.

“Am I not allowed to come and visit?” He replied with a snort, lifting the hand with the Outsider’s mark and wiggling his fingers meaningfully, “You are the one who gave me that option, bastard. Not any other black-eyed God’s called ‘the Outsider’ around here, are there?”

What in the world is going on?

The God in question blinked at his response, seeming to blanch even paler despite his already-light complexion. Those fingers twitched, digging into his palm hard enough that any normal person would bleed. Had he really forgotten granting one of his followers an ability? Why was this person throwing him so off balance? To allow someone to travel freely to the Void on will must mean he was important to the man, that was to be certain. 

Did he know you? Did he know what had transpired here?

The Outsider let out a low sigh, seeming thoroughly angry with himself as he clipped in response, “This doesn’t involve you, Corvo. Go home to Emily and your grandchildren.”

Corvo? Who the hell is this man?

 And Emily as well, there was so much Vergil didn’t understand.

“Its night time in Dunwall, Emily and Wyman have things under control without me,” The gruff man--now dubbed Corvo--clicked his tongue in aggravation, his eyes lingering on Vergil for a moment before slipping back to the God, “I had my suspicions that you were doing shit you weren’t supposed to, but I didn’t realize just how far you went through with them. A brat, as always.”

He called this God of the Void a brat? If Vergil wasn’t so broken already, he might have been shocked or amused. All that could flicker forth was confusion and astonishment, especially when the Outsider looked visibly put off by the comment. His poised stance faltered for a brief second, like the words had jolted up his spine before he settled back and rolled his head on his shoulders. Vergil was growing agitated with this, especially when he seemed like a partial focus for attention. Every second spent here was just prolonging the inevitable,was it not?

Regardless, the Outsider’s annoyance seemed to grow in spades, his bad mood from seeing your previous death only heightened. Like petting a cat the wrong way, he bristled and snapped back, “I see you are still prone to putting your nose where it doesn’t belong--” He raised his fingers, seeming intent on banishing Corvo away as he hissed, “--It matters not. You have no place in my business.”

Corvo rose a brow, quickly speaking up before the God could remove him, “Send me back and you’ll never hear from me again, Outsider.”

His tone was firm, unyielding and clearly telling the truth with that threat. It made the God freeze in place, wide eyes meeting Corvo’s with a shocking amount of hesitation.

Corvo’s presence must have been important to him, very important. Because he backed down a moment later, lowering his hand and glowering at the grizzled man with a hint of resentment and exasperation. Vergil was aghast--why was Corvo interfering, when the Outsider definitely had viable reasons for doing all of this? It made no sense, this conflict didn’t involve him and Vergil was reluctant to admit it. But...he would. He knew his place, wanted to make up for all the wrongs he caused. 

But...he also didn’t.

He didn’t want to stare at you, watching as you held V’s hand and kissed his cheek. Didn’t want to feel his love for you ache and ache while you gave away the affection once belonging to him, the very love he had thrown away. His human half was the only thing deserving of it, and that knowledge burned and clawed away at the remaining traces of dignity he had. God, how was he supposed to live with this feeling? These memories of you, of loving and wanting you under all those layers of pride? All he had wanted was to never be hurt again, and in turn had caused his own undoing. Selfish, why was he so selfish? This despair, this unhappiness, this fear...it was everything he deserved and more. Yet…

You fear like any other person, V whispered in reply to his thoughts, pressing lightly on the edges of his consciousness, Neither of us were deserving of her, yet we took anyway. I just...was a lot more honest with my emotions.

That was precisely why V deserved you more, at least in Vergil’s eyes. 

“Why must you interfere right when I so very wish you wouldn’t?” The Outsider’s hiss, laced with desperation drew Vergil out of his thoughts, looking up to see the God stalk up to Corvo with an arrogance in his step, “You test me, Corvo. After all I did to aid you in avenging your Empress, in saving your daughter Emily and helping her save you in turn…!”

There was clearly a lot of missing information here that Vergil was just now learning. This man seemed to have a story behind him, one the son of Sparda would not have minded hearing if the circumstances weren’t so dire.

Corvo rose that brow again, tone shockingly calm as he replied, “Which is exactly why I’m here, to help you in return,” He looked at Vergil again, several layers of understanding and recognition in those brown, tired eyes. This man clearly knew the son of Sparda, despite him having no knowledge in comparison. Regardless, Corvo let out a light sigh as he continued, “I had suspected you were scheming the first time around, when she almost lost herself in Fortuna. Is this really what Y/N wants, for you to punish Vergil for something she won’t even remember with relentless torture?”

He knows me by name. You as well.

And when you broke after Fortuna.

How did he know about that? 

Wasn’t that memory from several years ago? Maybe time passed differently in the Void, especially for those who only visited from time to time in comparison to staying there. Corvo had an intimate understanding of the situation, of what the Outsider had planned and what Vergil had done. Why was he interfering if he knew all that had transpired? What did he hope to gain, and how did this help anyone?

The Outsider tensed at Corvo’s declaration, voice whipping out sharply as he spat, “He almost took my child from me…! You of all people should know not to question my actions considering what was done to Emily--or have you forgotten how she was kidnapped twice, or how she was forced to fight Delilah to return her throne…?!”

Corvo still remained calm, staring at the Outsider’s face with his expression not changing. This man seemed...wise, showing his years in his poise and control whilst the Outsider seemed volatile in comparison. How was the God this lacking in control after so many years of being in existence? It didn’t make sense, not this level of anger or hostility. It was almost like he wasn’t used to dealing with emotion at all, which was all too similar to…

Corvo let out a slow breath, taking a step forward and placing both hands on the Outsider’s cheeks. The action surprised Vergil, and the God too by the looks of it. He froze in place, back tense in Vergil’s view and hands clenched at his sides. That motion looked oddly...tender? Romantic? Just what was the relationship between these two? It wasn’t in Vergil’s place to question or wonder, but just what else did he have left to do while sitting there and trying not to interfere?

Just hush. And wait.

“You’re right,” Corvo said simply, staring intently at the Outsider’s face and projecting an air of absolute reason, “And as a father, let me be the first to give you advice--I know you are still learning, and I know it’s hard for you to grasp what you’re feeling after sitting in this shitty place for years and feeling nothing. But...in regards to your child, forcing your wants upon her is never something that can work out.”

The Outsider was breathing quickly, shown by his shoulder blades moving every so slightly with the movement. The son of Sparda couldn’t see his face, but his low voice betrayed his emotions just as easily.

There was a pause, the God seeming to collect himself ever so slightly before whispering in response, “He hurt her. She almost crumbled away to nothing and he would have lived on in ignorance,” His tone was bitter, laced with anger and hatred as he hissed, “He deserved every ounce of pain he went through and more.”

That made Corvo frown, working his lower jaw lightly while a thoughtful expression made a home in his rugged features.

“...But did she?” He finally replied, tone low and gruff as he tried to reason with the volatile God, “You put Y/N through the wringer too, sent her to all those places and made her hurt more and more. Like making Y/N suffer constantly would somehow make her invulnerable to pain.”

Vergil could remember from V’s eyes, seeing how tired you looked when speaking about your God. Each praise tinged with hesitation, every memory lingering on the edges of trauma that you seemingly couldn’t grasp on to. He had worried about you, especially considering your nightmares that you could never remember afterwards. Taking away the memories of the things that hurt you was only a temporary solution, and not a good one--how could you work through and process traumatic memories if those memories weren’t there at all? You couldn’t hope to work through a feeling that had no roots, it would continue to plague you with no rhyme or reason.

Not that Vergil could talk. He was notorious for ignoring his problems, his trauma and past memories like they were weaknesses weighing him down. How ironic that of the two of you, it would be the woman he hurt most of all that would come out the other end stronger, more stable? You had been so bright, even to V and bouncing back from the bad things that happened to you. Where V gave up, you were determined to save him and fought with every ounce of strength to get him up the tree. And then...all those months later, you looked like the sun again. No trace of your death on the steps of the orphanage, heart still beating despite how they broke it and taking your happiness as you saw fit.

Where he had stayed stuck in his ways, you moved on and flourished. Like a lotus, blooming and beautiful even in the mud that tried to stifle you.

The Outsider sucked in a breath at Corvo’s calm-spoken words, indignation crackling like a physical force in the air as he ground out, “I made her strong, my actions worked…!” He yanked himself back from Corvo, forcing the man to let his hands drop to his sides, “Every pain she will feel after this will be like a fleeting sting now that she has felt the worst she will ever had…!”

Maybe...he and the Outsider were more alike than he thought.

If I grow powerful, so powerful that none can stand before me...maybe I will never feel pain again.

Corvo’s expression finally slipped into a hint of anger, lingering more toward exasperation as he took a step closer to the God and snapped, “Listen to yourself! Do you realize how messed up that is, to think hurting your own child is the only way to make her strong?” He grabbed the God by the collar when he tried to retreat another foot back, bringing them closer to Vergil as Corvo continued on forcefully, “I may not have been the best parent, but I know damn well that when you’re teaching your child to swim, you help them until they can do it on their own--not toss them into the ocean and hope they don’t drown…!”

When someone begins to drown, they are likely to drag down the ones who try and save them.

Vergil felt his gaze lower to the ground, remembering the tower with Dante, remembering every time he fought his brother from childhood to adulthood. What had driven him to such violence other then the intense hatred he felt at seeing Dante so content? How dare his brother come out the other end whole and capable? All Vergil had done was drag his twin down to the same level of misery he felt, taking glee in it like some sadist. How petty it felt, how idiotic. While he was wasting time searching for power, feeling cold and brooding...Dante made a business, made a life, made friends. And that was what had stung the most, realizing that at the end of the day he would always lose to Dante, always be a step behind and lacking in something.

But this wasn’t about him anymore--it was about you.

The Outsider reared back from Corvo’s harsh words, shoulders jolting like the man had visibly slapped him. No such action had occurred, but the meaning had come across loud and clear. He  said nothing, lips sealed shut with either regret or indignation, Vergil wasn’t sure which. Whatever it was made Corvo pause, anger starting to slowly drain as he stared at the black-eyed God with far more patience than he deserved, than any other human could probably muster. It was very clear the gruff male cared about the Outsider, made obvious by the how hard he was seeming to try. The Outsider must have looked unhappy, because he softened his approach in an instant.

“Think for a second what that would do to her,” He coaxed instead, letting go of the black-eyed bastard’s collar and instead placing a hand on his shoulder, right where it met his neck, “If you leave Vergil with his emotion for Y/N, their connection will never leave. It will confuse her, and complicate things more than they need to be and tear her in two. But--” Corvo glanced back at Vergil, narrowing his eyes a bit and saying in a very reasonable tone, “Sever the connection he has to her, take away the emotion he feels and leave the memories...things will right themselves automatically. She can be completely connected to V, and fate will deem someone new for Vergil in return.”

What…?

That wasn’t possible, was it? You were the one he was meant to be with, how could he possibly be allowed anyone else after screwing up the first person he was given? Not only that, but he didn’t deserve it, didn’t want to end up ruining someone else’s life like he had done to you. Those visions of the beach, the blood and the sand were so fresh, like daggers in his heart and mind that stabbed relentlessly. He had been the cause of all the suffering, even now sitting on the Void’s floating debris he was the source of the two fighting.  I am poison, aren’t I? Vergil couldn’t imagine wanting anyone but you, and look what happened then. Anger, heartache, death, agony. He grit his teeth at the memory, sucking in a sharp breath and digging into his palm with nails so hard they bled. Pointless, selfish--he could not want something new, it wasn’t...wasn’t…

But...would removing V from him still leave you loving Vergil too? He couldn’t take the risk of that connection remaining, of leaving you in conflict between loving one or the other.

“Enough…!” He hissed, drawing the attention of both men and making them turn to look at him. Corvo seemed surprised to finally hear him talk, and the Outsider merely looked annoyed--typical, all things considered, “Isn’t there a way to remove V... and still sever the connection to me without dragging in someone new?” 

I don’t deserve another.

I won’t hurt someone again.

Let me suffer like I deserve.

Corvo let out a light huff, seeming non-impressed by Vergil’s attempt at self-sacrifice, “No, it’s just how things work. Others have lost soulmates too, so it just finds you someone like that too,” He stepped around the incredulous Outsider, kneeling in front of the son of Sparda instead and staring into his icy blue eyes with stern, cold ones of his own. It made Vergil feel oddly...uncomfortable, like being scolded by his father when very young, “Mind you, some things will remain. You deserve to feel guilt, empathy--you deserve to keep those feelings of grief about what you did to her and Nero. But...she’s not yours to love any more, so why not let those feelings go so you can both move on?”

V was strangely quiet at this suggestion, not sure how to feel about it either. Because at the end of the day...he loved you so much, craved to touch you with hands that weren’t owned by another. If there was a chance that the poet could become your soulmate, full and unburdened by Vergil...was it so terrible to want such a thing, especially if his counterpart could end up free of his feelings for you? This solution worked out for everyone, didn’t it? V could have you again, Vergil could be free of his connection to you, everyone would be able to move on. But…

Vergil put a hand to his chest, clenching his fingers around the fabric of his jacket to make the ache go away. The son of Sparda...he loved you too, didn’t he? Just like V. His first love, the one who had been meant for him and him alone. The idea of no longer feeling this emotion, to no longer have someone like you to give him that hope and affection…bittersweet was the best word for it. Lonely. Someone new would be meant for him according to Corvo, but...would it ever be the same as this, so deep he felt like drowning? How could he hope to do right by anyone else, to fill that aching Void with anything but what you gave him?

Selfish. Poison.

Do right by her--you swore you would.

He closed his eyes, knowing the answer to all his emotion and swallowing it down like bile. This was no longer about what he wanted, what he felt. After being selfish and cruel his whole life...he needed to make a choice on someone else’s behalf, one that he knew would hurt. And that was the price he would pay for his mistakes.

Vergil--V whispered, sensing his thoughts and feeling hesitant despite how this proposal aided the poet--You...are you sure this is what you want?

I just want to do right by her.

Corvo was a human, plain and simple, but he read the fear and hesitation in Vergil’s expression easily enough. He rubbed at his beard, seeming a bit thoughtful as he said in a low voice, “After all that you did to hurt her...maybe it would be best to set her free--this works for everyone, yeah?” 

He looked over his shoulder at the Outsider, met with an annoyed glower from the man in question as he barked, “He still gets punished in the end--he lives with the guilt and regret for the rest of his life, and he has to search out his new soulmate after losing his old one. Is that tragic enough for you, brat?”

The Outsider bristled at that nickname, like icy crystals were shuddering along his shoulders as he growled, “Your insults don’t amuse me, Corvo Attano. You test my patience,” But...he hesitated, seeming swayed by the steady look the other man wore and the argument he had in place. Those black pits shifted to Vergil, flickering with a thousand emotions he could barely read. Hatred, anger, resentment, impatience, reluctance, but...ending on acceptance. He looked away, crossing his arms over his chest like a sulky child and muttering softly, “...So be it. Y/N has been through enough...she deserves to be set free from you and live her life as promised.”

This is the end, isn’t it?

The end of my story with her.

And isn’t it bittersweet?

Corvo nodded, seeming satisfied with the Outsider’s answer and rising to his feet in a fluid motion. He grunted, rolling his shoulders before turning to face the black-eyed God and putting a hand to his cheek again. Tender despite how they had just butted heads, loving. The God’s face was finally visible this time, expression softening and those eyes closing as he breathed deep and even.

It was clear the Outsider had two people he considered very precious in his life, you and Corvo Attano. As twisted as it was, all he had wanted was to do right by you, to fix what Vergil had so carelessly destroyed. And in the end...it was clear he had no idea what he was doing, so similar to the son of Sparda in many ways. Maybe that was why Vergil’s actions made him so angry, because he saw himself in Vergil’s struggles with emotion?

Difference was, Vergil was allowed to walk in the sun--The Deity was not.

“Do right by them,” Corvo instructed the Outsider, stepping back and watching with calm eyes that leveled on Vergil again, “No more suffering today, I think everyone has had enough.”

Enough to last a lifetime.

And several more after that.

The God opened his eyes again, seeming tired and reluctant as he too turned to the man kneeling before them both. The anger he had carried for so long was starting to drain, making way for regrets and hesitations now that his own actions had come into question. Maintaining that level of hatred for so long became a weight on one’s shoulders, a heavy and tiring burden. Vergil knew all too well of that weight, having carried so many with him for years that his shoulders ached. Everything hurt now, life full of exhaustion and uncertainties that he didn’t know how to face. You, Nero, whatever his future would bring...it was a lot to take in, far more than he had ever faced head on.

There were a lot of sins to make up for, more than he could ever hope to fix. A life of servitude could never bring back the lives taken by the Qliphoth tree, nor could years of trying to make things up to Nero fix what he did to you both. But...He was so tired, so exhausted with being angry, holding in emotion and trying to be strong and steadfast. It helped nothing and no one...things had to change, and he was not given a choice.

That was acceptable. He didn’t deserve one.

Wait--V said softly in Vergil’s skull knowing the Outsider could easily hear. It made the God stop mere feet from him, frowning as he stared at Vergil’s numb expression--Please. Do not take my memories of what happened to my Sparrow in Fortuna. Let me keep them.

He wanted to keep the memories of your suffering? Why?

“You wish to hold onto that guilt and pain?” The Outsider sounded just as perplexed as Vergil, tilting his head to the side and staring with cold, dark eyes, “Why is that?”

V paused, his consciousness hovering on the edge of Vergil’s like a tangible force. As if he was gathering thoughts, ones that the son of Sparda could not see or read.

Because they will serve as a reminder, He finally whispered, tone soft and filled with mourning as they both remembered that day. Seeing you on the beach, bloodied and drenched in rain as you gave birth to your child. It stung like nothing else, but V was resolute as he continued, It will remind me to give her every ounce of happiness we took away--I never want to forget that guilt. I played a part in it too.

The Outsider rose a brow, seeming perplexed by the answer as silence stretched between the two. Corvo looked on with confusion, not hearing the exchange but knowing well enough to hold his tongue and stay out of it. Vergil too--what V chose did not involve him anymore, despite how hesitant the choice made the son of Sparda. To have another share that guilt, to live with the aching memories of your suffering...it didn’t seem right, didn’t seem fair. But...V had been inside of him even then, it would make sense that he wanted to help shoulder the blame. And if he could translate that into more love for you...who was he to stop him?

After a few more seconds of silence, the black-eyed bastard nodded, a low smirk on his lips as he flicked his fingers upward. As he did so, black crystalline hands lifted out of the ground beneath Vergil, grasping his arms and legs to lift him up before the god. They were cold, so very cold--one could get frostbite being touched by fingers like these. He then turned to his right, another motion of his hand opening a portal in the chilled air.

Vergil felt his heart pound faster at the sight of your familiar form being lowered down from it, face now peaceful in comparison to before. The whale oil no longer stained your cheeks, body cradled by gentle black hands that held you upright. You were beautiful, weren’t you? Strong, resilient. Everything he had needed, everything he had turned away.

Had he swallowed his pride...would you both have been happy? Nero born somewhere safe, Vergil finding the will to let go of his past and accept the love chosen for him. Would he have found peace, solace? Maybe the son of Sparda could have found the will to seek out Dante with something other than malice, to make amends and help build up Devil May Cry. You would have gotten the chance to raise Nero, to give him all the love he deserved. As for Vergil...To teach Nero how to fight with a sword, to be a father...all the possibilities were laid out before him like a cruel joke, one that he deserved to have thrown in his face.

So many things could have been, but those choices were gone now.

The Outsider approached you with Corvo by his side, laying a gentle hand on your cheek and stroking a thumb over your soft skin. He leaned forward, putting his lips by your ear to whisper something softly, to the point that Vergil could barely hear it.

“I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me,” His voice was gentle, filled with unspoken regrets as he lingered there for a moment with you, “And then...well. I still have much to learn about being your father, don’t I?”

He leaned back, staring at you with calm eyes and an expression of sorrow. They knew damn well what damage had been done to your relationship with him, but...all you had wanted was him to care, to be the parent you had never been allowed, that was very clear. You had it in your heart to forgive your father, that kindness was stronger than anything.

The God finally stepped away from your resting form, leaving Corvo to stand beside you and place a hand to your head. He was a father through and through, having more than likely played a part in bringing you up alongside the Outsider. To see you find happiness seemed like a relief, especially if he could help bring it about. His hand in things was needed,  bitter as it was. Vergil was grateful he had saved you from more pain.

No more suffering, no more heartache.

V will be all that you need, and I--

I will set you free.

The Outsider turned back to Vergil, steps careful and measured as he stopped a foot in front of his suspended form. V was quiet again in his head, those sensations of hesitation and worry fading into a dull roar under Vergil’s tormented swirl of emotions. He could still see you there, held up by those hands, oblivious to all that transpired between them. You would never remember loving him first, the pain you suffered in Fortuna, giving birth to your son. Never--you would never know Nero is your flesh and blood, that little boy you gave up everything for. And worst of all...that was for the best, the only way you could exist without agony and despair breaking you in two. He would take the secret to the grave, carry it as a reminder of all he had wronged and make sure you never found out.

Vergil, V finally whispered, sounding tired and hesitant as everything else seemed to quiet, fading into background noise, I...thank you. You are not the same person we were before, and that...is a good thing. For the record...I know you will do right for the next person meant for you, because I can feel how much you loved Y/N. If you can feel that deeply for her after all that transpired...you deserve to be free to love without me there to hurt you.

How could he be kind to Vergil after all the years he spent suppressing his humanity? He had tried to remove V from him entirely, cutting out his humanity like it was nothing but a burden or weakness. And yet...this human half had found kindness and empathy a lot faster than he had, willing to forgive years of stupidity in an instant now that they were being split apart. Seeing something that was once a part of him existing on his own will be strange, but...it would have to be accepted, no matter what.

Let’s both try to do better next time.

The Outsider raised his hand, placing it on Vergil’s forehead as the howling of the Void grew in intensity, filling the space around him with that all too familiar chill. It started seeping into his bones again, wrapping around the very culmination of his being and making his breaths heave out of his chest. It burned, it froze him inside out until he was certain there would never be warmth again, that this cold would carry with him for years to come. He was lucky you had introduced this energy to his human half, the demonic side was flinching away on instinct. But the Outsider was stronger, able to push past and latch onto both parts of him with absolute ease. Like icy fingers on his heart, lungs, organs. Gripping tight and preparing to pull him in half once more.

And through it all, Vergil stared at you with those icy blue eyes, chest aching with that throb of regret and agony. He memorized this feeling, this need and desire. To stroke your cheeks, to fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness he didn’t deserve. The son of Sparda would never feel like this again, not for you. All those memories in Fortuna, of his first kiss, making love, falling in love with you bit by bit...They would be empty, memories there but without any substance. You had made him feel weak, so blessedly weak, and he had craved every moment of it. God, he had needed it so much--to let go of that felt so gut-wrenchingly painful, so wrong and agonizing. You were everything, and he was nothing. 

And now...now you would be meant for someone else.

This is the end of our story.

Isn’t the ocean beautiful, Vergil? You gentle voice flickered through his mind, accompanied by a memory of sitting beside you on the beaches of Fortuna. The sunlight had made you glow, smile so soft and filled with affection only for him, You should take time to relax more often--you’re bound to get wrinkles frowning like that.

I’m sorry.

It’ll be okay, You whispered that night, stroking his cheek after his nightmare and pressing your lips to his forehead, I am with you, Vergil. Always. You don’t have to hide your pain from me, you don’t have to be ashamed.

I failed you. This is what I deserve.

That warmth was dripping down his cheeks again, under the Outsider’s hand and down to his jaw. No sobs accompanied these tears, but that was for the best. He had no place to cry, not after what he had done. This pain was his punishment, and he would remember it till the day death came for him. Even if he found someone new, even if he somehow managed to move on...he would remember what this taught him, how you had showed him a love he didn’t deserve. He was losing you, his everything--and he would never open his mouth to complain. Not to anyone, never. After those emotions were gone and only the guilt was left behind...the scars would remain for a lifetime, and that was for the best, wasn’t it?

The Outside paused at Vergil’s tears, the God’s silence speaking volumes as he let his hand linger, that cold spreading deeper and deeper until he felt like he was being torn apart inside. Vergil could no longer tell which way was up, could no longer see your sleeping face, beautiful hair, and those lips he once kissed. The blackness was starting to fill him, like the Void itself swallowing whole all that he came to know and accept.

V wasn’t felt anymore, nothing was. Vergil Sparda became one with the dark, body feeling weightless in the pain and sensations pulling him in every direction at once. This was the end, this was the end to his story with you. And it was happening just how he deserved it--bitter, hard to swallow, but with you coming out the other side free of the burden he was. At the end of the day...the only weakness here was him, and you deserved to live with someone who could help you spread those wings.

You could be free. And he would remember where you could not.

“Goodbye, Vergil Sparda,” The Outsider’s whispers reached him in the darkness, low and full of warning as everything faded away, “I hope to the Void that I never have to see you again.”

And with that, came nothingness.

(Nero POV, Hours Later)

The white-haired demon hunter hadn’t stopped pacing since they abandoned the search for you both on the beach.

Seeing the ocean swallow you, seeing Vergil plunge into the water right after...his mind had practically went apeshit, Nero slashing his way through a horde of demons to try and help. As soon as Vergil was gone, the demons seemed to give up, taken down easy and crumbling to nothingness under the weight of his and Dante’s strength. The storm eased up too, rain fading to a drizzle and thunder quieting in the distance. What the hell had happened? What the hell had happened to you? He had dead-sprinted for the water, diving in with his uncle in unison to search for any trace of you or his father, but...nothing. No bodies, no sight of you floating down there or the fiery blue form of Vergil. Something had taken you both, and Nero had an idea of who it was.

Your Deity had played a part in this.

After hours of searching, Kyrie had begged them both to return home. And honestly...what else could they do but listen to her requests? Chilled to the bone, soaked and exhausted from fighting and searching... Nero felt awful, like he had somehow failed you. The boy had sworn that he would keep you safe, but was helpless in watching that fucking asshole snatch you and his father away. As for your familiars...they were even bigger messes than he was. Griffon and the others had went into a blind panic, screeching for you and circling the ocean for hours to find even a trace before Kyrie forced them all to wait on the deck. And that just made shit sadder--they claimed they couldn’t feel you, but the connection was still there. 

Shadow hadn’t moved from their spot, staring out at the ocean with sorrowful eyes and drooping ears. Griffon sat on their back looking forlorn, his gold eyes anxiously scanning the line of sand like he would somehow see you there. And Nightmare...he sat down nearby on the sand, shoulders hunched forward and completely silent. All three felt like even bigger failures than Nero--they were your familiars, damn it. It was their job to keep you safe, but they’d been useless too. Now all they could do was wait and hope, which wasn’t much to be honest. 

Dante was the one who set about trying to form a game plan, silently furious at the prospect of losing his brother and you at the same time. He called Trish and Lady over to help, contacting Morrison in the hopes of getting information on your God. But...the reigning fact was not much could be done without knowing his name, and that was the one thing you hid from the familiars. Morrison was trying to find shit out through books, looking up things on black eyes and the Void. They hadn’t heard much back, so it was now a waiting game, one that Nero didn’t particularly care for. Things were much easier when he had a target he could punch or shoot at, and in this case…

They had nothing.

Cut to present time, the sky now dark and Nero still pacing the kitchen with measured steps. Kyrie sat at the dining room table with her head resting on her arms, Nico stroking her back from time to time. Christ, there was a sense of dread in the air. The kids had, luckily, not caught wind that you were gone. Lady and Trish had kept them busy while the other adults talked, all the way up until they went to bed and still giving them their little camp out. They could sense something was wrong, but not know what--And each one was smart enough not to ask. Nero felt awful about their worry, but...there was not really any other choices left.

It was already going on ten o’clock, his legs starting to feel tired from the pacing. He leaned against a nearby wall, the cool air from outside blowing through the open door to the deck where Trish stood keeping watch with the familiars. How long were they supposed to wait? What if you and Vergil never came back? The very thought made him squeeze a fist tight enough to crack bone, jaw tight and uncomfortable. You were family, his family, and they all loved and cared about you. Honestly you and Nico were the closest things to sisters he was ever going to get, and that was enough for him. Nero wanted you home, they all did. And if that wasn’t going to happen on its own...he was willing to kick his way into the Void if need be.

“Shit, this sucks…” Nico croaked from the table, making him turn to see her flop down with a low thunk of her head on the wood, “What are we supposed to do? She said that jerk used to erase her memories...what if he does that?”

Nico was already going worse case scenario, which he understood. They had spent the past few hours reasoning and hoping, despair was starting to set in. 

The only one who seemed to remain steadfast in her faith was, understandably, Kyrie. She lifted her head from the table, those brown eyes soft and determined as she took one of Nico’s hands in her own.

“She will come home,” She said quietly, but firmly, turning to look at Nero where he stood nearby, “We have to believe in that, believe in her. She would never go quietly, not after everything that has happened.”

He knew that, they all did. These months of living together and working toward letting go of what happened in the Qliphoth tree had taught Nero just how resilient you could be. It would be downright disrespectful to throw in the towel this early on, to give up on you coming home. Morrison would find something out, he had to--and when that call came, they would enter the Void guns blazing if need be. Nero had fought something close to a god before, hadn’t he? He would curb stomp the bastard if it meant getting you home, making Kyrie smile and everyone happy again.

“Vergil isn’t the type to go quietly either,” Dante muttered from his spot standing by the phone, brow furrowed and arms crossed stiffly over his chest. Nero glanced at him, frowning as the older man continued, “Which could be both a bad and good thing. This God is arrogant, self-assured--he’s had a game plan from the start, it’s just shit that we don’t know it.”

Nero let out a light grunt of agreement, running a hand through his white hair as he sighed, “Y/N seemed reluctant to talk about him, she didn’t know his plans either in the long scheme of things and especially not after what he did in the tree.”

He remembered your recollection of that day, having been forced to stand prone by the Deity while V absorbed back into Urizen. The half-demon had noticed something was wrong, had found it odd that you were sitting back and letting V do something so dangerous without bouncing in to stop him. One glance at your face had revealed you pale and face blank, sweat dotting your brow like morning dew. Something had been wrong, but they was so much going on at the time that he didn’t know what to do, how to help. The rest had fallen to pieces, and he was left regretting not stepping in. The God had been there with you, holding you down like some monster and leaving you in desperation and terror. Nero should have done something, anything.

But that was the past.

Now he was left waiting again. Helpless. And that didn’t feel right at all. 

Nero let out an aggravated sigh, pushing off from the wall to start pacing again. He could feel Kyrie’s worried eyes on him, watching as he walked to the door and looked out along the beach. Like checking again would somehow change anything. The silence was heavy and stifling, sky now clear enough to showcase the stars above Fortuna in all their glory. Far too calm despite all that had gone down. The familiars had not moved from their posts, seeming glum and tired as they kept their eyes on the beach. Nero hated admitting it, but he felt bad for them--this had to be worrisome considering how dependent they were on you.

Griffon let out a low trill when the silence persisted, his sapphire feathers shuddering and showcasing all those glowing marks woven between as he muttered, “Shoulda done somethin, shoulda been faster. We said we’d keep her safe, but choked at the follow through,” He sounded forlorn, tail feathers drooping pitifully as he closed his golden eyes, “She was afraid something bad was gonna happen and I told her not to worry, like a fucking idiot.”

Your instincts had always been keen, there was no denying that. Now that Nero put some thought into it...things had worked out far too conveniently. 

He blew some air out from between his cheeks, leaning against the door frame to the kitchen as he replied, “Stupid is in your blood, chicken. You did come from Vergil, after all.”

Well, that certainly ruffled his feathers. Griffon puffed up in instant annoyance, glaring daggers at the white-haired boy as he snapped, “Is that your idea of comforting someone, slim? You are really bad at this shit, you know that right?”

Nero let out a slow, heavy sigh, looking away and scratching the back of his neck. Yeah, he knew pretty damn well that emotional support wasn’t his best feature. It was a lot easier when it came to Kyrie, she always knew exactly what people needed to hear and said it with enough faith and certainty to put her point across. He was a lot rougher around the edges, finding it easier to fight and protect people that way rather than with words. Maybe that’s why Kyrie evened him out so well?

Regardless.

“...I think that God would have taken her even if you had been attached at the hip,” He reasoned after a brief moment of silence, broken only by the sounds of the ocean rolling over the sandy beach, “That bastard would have ripped you off of Y/N in an instant. So...don’t beat yourself up too bad, chicken.”

Griffon paused at that, probably not expecting anything remotely resembling kind words to come from Nero’s mouth. On the ground, Shadow’s ears flicked upwards for a moment, mourning eyes drifting to the demon-hunter’s face.

The bird finally sighed, looking away toward the ocean and settling into his own feathers a bit, “Maybe,” He muttered, sounding glum and irritable, “But we wouldn’t have known until we tried.”

And that’s all we could have done--tried.

Nero let out another slow breath, turning to look back in the kitchen and leave the familiars to their musings. Talking wasn’t helping anyone. Well...at least not for him--Dante was back to theorizing with Lady and Trish at the table, a book open between them depicting stories of ancient beings and legends spoken by demonologists and religious nuts alike.

None spoke of anything close enough to you worth sticking to, your powers far too spread across several spectrums and different words and phrasing used for each one. The “Void” was a common term for so many things, some ranging from hell to purgatory, the latter sounding closer to what you described according to the ladies. The Void is a place where broken souls go when they die. Problem was nothing really mentioned that to such fine details.

As for your “God”...well, everyone was looking for a name. You not being able to describe him when last you spoke of him hadn’t helped, so they were at a standstill as to who he could be. Not of any legend or part of mythology Dante knew the specifics on. He had sensed your power when he met you, telling right away that you were the follower of a God that did not align himself with good or evil. Something dark and chaotic, mischievous--he had met beings like that before, ones who prided themselves on simply seeking entertainment and manipulation of human souls. Regardless, he had guessed right that the God didn’t come from any part of the known realms he was familiar with. The sensation that came when that portal had opened to grab you was one of darkness, the cold. Not demonic, not angelic. Something...else.

But where is this place, and how can we get there?

“You think we should perform a ritual even when we do find out?” Trish sounded displeased, lips drawn in a firm frown as she stared at Dante’s face, “I don’t trust this creature, it’s a risk we can’t take.”

“You’re preaching to the choir, Trish,” Dante huffed in response, leaning back in the chair and crossing his arms over his chest. Now dressed in his own clothes, especially considering the ones he borrowed from Nero had been soaking wet after their searching in the rain, “You think I’m not ready to tango with a God? He doesn’t impress me with these little parlor tricks of his.”

“Oh I know--And that’s exactly what I’’m afraid of.”

Dante clicked his tongue at Trish’s heavily annoyed tone, looking away and rubbing a hand over his unshaven jaw. She wasn’t having any of his brazen, hot-headed stunts that day it would seem. Nero hated that he wanted to side with Dante, but the devil hunter was raring to go and put some action to this situation. If this God wanted to play ball, he was more than willing to come in swinging. And kicking. And shooting. Sitting back and waiting for things to change was making him irritable now, so if they didn’t come up with something...well, dangerous or not, if a lead came they had to take it. They owed it to you to at least try.

But...it would seem no ritual would be needed. 

Something...felt off. It was getting colder, the air taking on a strange chill despite how warm it had been during the day. It made Nero freeze, looking quickly at his uncle and seeing a similar realization echoing in his eyes. He felt that too, didn’t he? That eerie feeling, like something cold and dark was trying to--

“Dante…! Nero!” 

Griffon’s frantic screech made everyone look up, seeing the bird start flapping his wings and staring up at the sky with alarmed eyes. Shadow skidded to their feet, a roaring ripping its way from their throat as they took off out of sight, paws pounding into sand and faster than a bullet. Every person in the room stood in an instant, rushing outside to see exactly what had gotten the creature’s attention--but Nero already had a guess.

He had felt it in the air right as the bird spoke, the temperature started dropping rapidly and a prickle of energy had tapped its way along his spine. A similar feeling to how your powers felt when activated, but far stronger and stiffing. He took off out the door before everyone else, one hand already gripping the handle of the Red Queen before he had even lifted his eyes to the sky.

Something broke the clear night air, a fissure that extended like a black fracture between the stars and clouds. It was unnerving--resembling the jagged edges of a sadistic smile, its maw partially opened and leaking out a cold that did not belong in the waking world. Nero felt his heart rate speed up with the prospect of battle, hairs standing up on the back of his neck as hands started to creep their way out of the portal. There was no hesitation, he and Dante took off at the same breakneck speed down the beach with their feet digging into the sand, Griffon sailing on sapphire wings right beside them. Lady and Trish followed as quickly as they could manage, Trish yelling to Nico and Kyrie to stay behind where it was safe. That was for the best, none of them knew what they were dealing with at that moment. 

Dante skidded to a halt mere feet from the portal above, eyes sharp and attentive as a few more black, crystalline appendages weaved their way into the air. Both men had swords raised, in fighting stances like they were preparing for war. To be honest, the God’s level of unpredictability was part of the issue--if he couldn’t be understood, then no chances could be taken. But...the arms were not making any motions to attack, merely drifting and twitching without rhyme or reason in the night air. Nero exchanged a quick look with his uncle when a lack of violence persisted, a low hum of energy and whispers filling the space around them. Like a thousand voices where speaking in hushed voices, but making no sense.

Nero didn’t have the patience for the otherworldly shit. And neither did Dante.

“Not showing your face this time?” The older man taunted loudly to the open portal, taking a step forward and holding out his hands in challenge, “This theatrical shit ain’t my shtick, so let’s get to the show already…!”

His words were met with silence, only broken by the low whispers and the howling of wind. Griffon landed on Shadow’s back, both familiars staring up at the sky with desperation, a hint of hope and despair. This was the only sign they had received since you were taken, and it was more than they had hours ago. Nero was prepared to launch into the portal if he needed to, not willing to let this opportunity pass up with so much on the line. You were family now, and contrary to what he wanted and felt... so was Vergil. He wasn’t about to let some smug god take away his closure, his ability to tell that spiky-haired bastard exactly what he felt. And if that meant plunging into the unknown...he would do it, for you, for the kids, for Kyrie. She knew he could handle it, knew he always came back to her.

She trusts me. She always has.

The hands from the portal twitched before he could even begin readying himself, gripping the jagged edges of emptiness like they could somehow pry them open wider. Which they did--the portal opened several inches, exposing more of the dark to their eyes and sending the temperature down several degrees. Cold enough that Nero could see his breath, goosebumps rising on the flesh of his exposed arms. The appendages glittered like obsidian, holding there without moving another inch and seeming oblivious to the men down below. Shadow let out a low growl at Nero’s feet, baring their teeth skywards in a threatening manner. He doubted the two had any patience left to give either, not with their lives ridding on yours.

Griffon extended his wings, feathers rippling like he was contemplating flying up into the portal himself. A risky move, one that Nero knew you would not want happening. But there would be no need, not when something new started to slip out of the inky darkness above their heads.

That’s--

Both Nero and Dante gasped when a body fell out from the blackness above, landing limply on the sand in a flash of white hair and a familiar black and blue jacket--Vergil. He was unconscious again, but not looking hurt in the slightest save for his hair being messed up and discoloration in his cheeks. Dante didn’t hesitate like Nero did--he rushed forward in an instant, gripping the man by his coat to drag him away from the Void portal and not seeming hindered despite how heavy the half-demon was. Vergil let out a low grunt at the motion, head lolling to the side as he was rolled over and propped up into an awkward sitting position.

He looked alright, didn’t he? Just exhausted, dark circles under his eyes and hair draping down in messy pieces from his usual hairstyle.

“Vergil…!” Dante exclaimed, looking worried as he shook his brother by the shoulders and looked him over for wounds, “Talk to me, Verg--you alright? Can you hear me?”

Vergil let out a low groan, the sound raw and raspy. As if he had inhaled shards of glass, or had been screaming for hours. Nero watched in worry as he blinked his icy blue eyes slowly, seeming dazed and confused of his surroundings and…volatile, uneasy. Seeing such emotion on the stoic man felt strange, incredibly off. He watched as his father gripped Dante’s shirt for a moment, like he was testing the solidity of it, and stared at his brother as if he was several miles away. Even Dante seemed surprised by his siblings expression, more worry taking away his usually bemused demeanor and one of his hands resting on Vergil’s shoulder.

“Hey--you alright?” He repeated, firmer this time as he pinched a part of Vergil’s cheek, “Up and at ‘em, brother. We need to know what happened in there.”

Vergil swatted his hand away, the annoyance flickering across his expression more in tune to how he usually was. He turned away, resting one hand on the sand and taking slow, measured breathes through his teeth. 

Is he okay? 

“I...I am undecided on how I feel at the moment,” He muttered hoarsely, pressing his fingers to his temple and closing those tired eyes again, “And I...I…”

He trailed off, lifting his head to instead gaze up at the portal above with apprehension and a million other emotions on his face. Fear, anger, regret, sorrow, remorse...was that what Nero was seeing? Certainly not on Vergil, the cold and cocky man who seemed to feel nothing after causing the calamity in Red Grave, after discovering he had a fucking son. It was almost insulting to see such a level of emotion now, but it was far too tempered by his own shock and worry to be even remotely stinging. He lifted his eyes too, just in enough time to see more black, obsidian arms reaching out of the portal, but...this time they brought another body with them.

Oh thank God.

Griffon and Shadow let out varying sounds of relief and delight at the sight of you wrapped in those black arms, the bird springing up and meeting them halfway so he could anxiously press his beak to your face. You were unconscious too, skin pale and hair draped around your cheeks as the hands brought you gingerly to the floor. Far more carefully that they had with Vergil, who had been practically tossed out onto the sand.

Nero dropped the Red Queen instantly, lurching forward so he could put out his arms underneath you before your body touched the ground. Thank the Gods in heaven, you weren’t injured either--still breathing, heart still beating, but feeling chilled to the bone after your time in the Void. Nero let out a sigh of relief, crouching down at Shadow’s insistent cries to the cat could lick frantically at your face and hair.

They’re both fine--they’re both fine and alive.

“Toots…!” Griffon cawed in something close to a sob, hovering around you with worried eyes and feathers puffed out, “Is she okay? We can’t see what happened--everything in her head feels messed with…!”

Messed with? The God didn’t erase your memory, did he? That made Nero frown, unable to tell if anything had been taken just by looking at you. But what was the point of erasing your memories just to give you back?

“She good?” Dante asked, peering over Nero’s shoulder worriedly so he too could look at your face.

Nero paused, watching as Griffon landed on the ground nearby and pressed his beak into your limp, cold hand, “She’s freezing, but that’s to be expected,” The white-haired boy lifted his eyes upwards, noting that the portal still had not closed despite depositing the two people they had been looking for, “What the hell was the point of this? Yanking them in only to give them back unharmed hours later? I don’t get it.”

Vergil let out a bitter, bark of a laugh at Nero’s words, making both he and Dante turn to look at him. The older male was leaning forward on the beach, one hand bracing him while the other pressed to his temple like someone had cracked him over the skull. Something his son had said seemed bitterly amusing to him, the expression tempered with exhaustion and...what was that look? So faraway, so unlike the proud bastard to wear remorse on his sleeve in such a manner. 

What the hell had happened to him in there?

“The Outsider...got exactly what he desired,” Vergil whispered, lifting his fingers away so he could give them a light flex, “Everything played out exactly as he wanted it. There was no reason to keep us--it was never about that in the first place. And it feels...so very odd...very...”

His words trailed off, so low that it was almost impossible to hear. But Nero caught the back end of it, or at least what his ears thought they had translated from the jumbled mess that broke from Vergil’s lips.

“...Empty…”

Empty? What did he mean by that?

And what the hell is “the Outsider”?

Was that the God’s name, the one they had spent so long trying to figure out? So unassuming, something he never would have guessed. It was a bit mysterious and annoying too, absolutely fitting of this creature who became a steady thorn in everyone’s sides.

But that was a thought for another time. What the half-demon said was far more concerning to Nero.

Dante seemed troubled as well, putting an arm slowly around Vergil’s waist to help him up off of the ground, “Come on, you’re disoriented right now. We’d better get them inside, Nero,” He looked at you, still in the boy’s arms and showing no sign of waking, “We can ask questions tomorrow, neither of them are in any shape to answer anything.”

Much to Nero’s shock, Vergil did not protest his brother’s help. He let the other male lift him up, head still lowered and a look of exhaustion in his eyes. There was a conflicted tone in his expression, lacking the usual anger or pride that came with taking Dante’s assistance with anything. And he wasn’t oblivious to it--the seasoned devil hunter looked even more worried, pausing for a moment like he was waiting for Vergil to push him away, or maybe a snide remark about how he could “do it on his own”. No such thing came, and that was pretty unsettling to say the least. 

All they could do now was go home and try to piece together what had happened. Something big must have gone down to unsettle Vergil so heavily, to stomp down his pride and anger until something broken remained. Nero hated to admit how worried he was about his old man, but the sensation was there and growing. This incident was done, and he wanted nothing more than to go back to the orphanage and leave the mystery until morning reared its head the next day. 

But the portal was still open. 

And it was not done yet.

Nero had told himself that if it continued to remain open they would have someone keep watch, that it could be dealt with after making sure both of you were safe. He didn’t know what could be done, but leaving it to linger on the beaches of Fortuna wasn’t an option, especially not with the kids in the orphanage being so close. Morrison was still doing his research, they could try using the Yamato if needed to close it and bring so peace for a little while at least.

But...a crackling sound made them both turn, confusion in Nero’s expression as he saw the hands twitch and rotate in the portal above. A few retreated back, some lingering the keep it wide open enough to allow a person through. For a brief, horrifying moment Nero thought the “Outsider” would come out of it himself, to speak with his cursed lips or attack them while their guard was down.

But no…what did come out of the portal was far more jarring.

What the hell…? What the hell is that?

Nero felt himself tense up in shock and disbelief as another body started being lowered down by the hands of dark crystal. Recognition was working its way into the chorus of emotions in the boy’s head, skidding everything to a confused halt as he took in this new person’s appearance. He saw a flash of white hair draping in front of an all too familiar face, long arms dangling limply down from a naked body barely covered by the modesty of the hands. Pale skin, scars lining his shoulder from when the horseman attacked him all those months ago in Red grave. There was no way--There was no fucking way, that is impossible. The boy couldn’t believe his eyes, even when the hands laid the familiar body gently down onto the sand, his nude form easy to spot in the moonlight and laying on his stomach with his head tilted to the side. Allowing them both to see his face, but hiding the parts of him they’d rather not see.

That’s impossible--

He can’t be here, can he?

But there was no mistaking the man Nero had traveled and spoken with all those months ago. The image of his face had not faded in the slightest.

V was laying lying on the beach.

The hands set him down gently, retreating back into the portal and leaving his unconscious form to rest on the sands with that white hair drifting ever so slightly. The fingers gripping the portal to hold it open finally let go, the jagged maw snapping shut with a crack that rang through the night air. Slowly, painfully so, the edges of the portal fused together until it disappeared into nothing, a warm breeze washing away the cold it had brought moments prior.

The whispering was gone, the howling was gone, and all that was left in its wake was the blissful sound of rolling waves and the gentle thrum of the wind chimes the children had hung a few weeks ago around the deck. Neither made things feel any less chaotic--Nero looked between Vergil and the man on the beach in an almost comedic fashion, watching as his father turned to glance back at V with his own expression of recognition. And of clarity. 

He knew exactly who it was lying there, and didn’t seemed shocked in the slightest. Nor did he seem...incomplete, like Urizen was still absent and no longer split in two. No, Vergil seemed like his usual self minus the exhaustion and the complete whirlwind of emotion he was expressing. In fact, the only thing he seemed to show other than tiredness when looking at V was...satisfaction? Relief? Tinged with his remorse and guilt, one that did not fade as he lowered his head once more, eyes closing like everything had finally reached its conclusion. Dante was staring in absolute shock as well, a muscle twitching in his jaw as those gears in his brain tried to work out just what the hell was going on.

What the fuck happened in there?

How is he HERE?

How is this possible?

“Holy fucking shit…!” Griffon whispered in front of them both, reminding Nero that he and the big cat existed, “Is that...is that Shakespeare?!”

Shadow stared with wide eyes as well, ears pressing flat against their skull and now silent in the face of all the madness. Griffon exchanged a long glance with Dante, both seeming at a loss for words with V’s body lying there on the sand with no one knowing just how the fuck it was possible. There was no mistaking it though--that was V, in the flesh on the sands of Fortuna but without his tattoos or black hair. It made sense, the familiars were no longer connected to him after he went back into Vergil’s body. Nero couldn’t wrap his head around anything anymore, not a damn bit of it. All he knew was something had happened in the Void, and now Vergil was a trainwreck, and V was somehow alive as well.

While Vergil was still in existence.

Holy fuck, this is insane.

“How the fuck is this possible?” Nero hissed, turning to level his gaze on Vergil’s lowered face and feeling his anger spike back again. What were they supposed to think, to trust? How could his father be here while his human half was separated again?

Vergil let out a low sigh, opening his eyes so he could shift them over and stare at his son. He flinched for a moment, grimacing like Nero had reached out and slapped him and wearing a look on his face the boy didn’t...understand. Why is he looking at me like that? Like just staring at me is complete agony. Guilt was back again, a realization that made Vergil look a thousand times more tired than he did before. No more condescending stares, no more cocky attitude...Vergil was looking at his son like a man who had failed him in every single way.

And that...that was even more unsettling. 

It hurt, he didn’t like it.

“...The Outsider has a way of getting what he wants,” Vergil replied, low and hoarse as he held Nero’s confused gaze, “All of this was to...punish me, and to return V back to Y/N without me losing my humanity. He...simply made it so my humanity was rebuilt anew, and took V’s half-soul and made it a full one of his own.”

Was...was all of that really possible? Nero felt disbelief slipping onto his expression, but Vergil didn’t sound like he was lying. It would make sense as to why he was so messed up, anyone would be if they had their soul rearranged and altered in such a manner. Maybe what Nero saw as guilt was merely his father feeling unsettled, confused and messed up by the apparent punishments he received while in the Void. There were so many questions to ask, but this was not the time to do any of that--Not with everyone so on edge, not with Vergil looking like he was on the verge of falling over and passing out again.

Nero needed to stay level-headed, focused.

“Son of a bitch…!” He cursed, pulling his gaze away from his father and looking at Dante, “What the hell should we do? Is that possible?”

Dante blew out some air from between his cheeks, frowning and deep in thought as he replied, “With a God like this one? Sure is,” He turned away from the confusion boy, yelling to Trish and Lady staring from their defensive positions a few feet back. Both looked like they were in varying stages of shock, looking between you, Vergil, and V and at a loss for words, “Care to lend a hand? Nero, give them Y/N and carry V to the house for me--we can figure shit out later, I gotta call Morrison.”

Lady and Trish jolted when spoken to, exchanging a brief glance before putting their weapons away and rushing forward to help. Nero handed you to Lady easily enough, the woman not hindered by your weight in the slightest and just looking relieved to have you back. He felt the same way, but damn if he wasn’t at a loss for words right now. Griffon and Shadow followed both women when they rushed you back to the house, Kyrie and Nico meeting them halfway with cries of delight and joy.

Seeing his wife so happy for your return made everything worth it--he could worry about the confusing shit at another time. They couldn’t very well leave V alone and nude on the beach overnight, that would be cruel despite all that had happened. Contrary to how his father seemed, V had been his better half, his humanity. Despite Nero’s doubts...being angry could wait.

So he nodded at Dante, turning his back and heading toward V’s prone form and shrugging off his coat in the process. The former goth  was certainly out like a light, there was no denying that. But he looked...better than he did before. No longer carrying dark circles under his eyes, pallor more of a normal pale than the sickly one he carried whilst limping his way around the Qliphoth. Nero thought he would never see the poet again, so doing so now was...very odd, unsettling in a way. V’s black vest and slacks were long gone, it would seem, naked as the day he was born--wait, was V born? This was getting SO confusing. 

Nero shook his head, sighing as he rolled the poet over and draping the coat over him in one fluid motion. No offense to the guy, but he’d rather not carry him around with his dick out for all to see--nothing personal. Only then did he lift V up, noting that he pretty much weighed the same as the last time Nero had carried him. On the way to Urizen, holding up the poet’s form with one arm as they walked and spoke of who the demon was. All those half truths were pretty aggravating in retrospect. V had only given him enough of the story to make it sound believable, conveniently leaving out how he himself half also been Vergil too. Typical.

Regardless.

It was a quick trek back to the house, one filled with unanswered questions that hung in the air and weighed him down at the same time. Did...did you know that V was back? What did it mean for Vergil now that his human half had been removed and changed? You had loved V so much, to the point that your love extended to Vergil too despite how much you tried to deny it. Nero had seen it in your eyes the instant his father returned, a deep ache that refused to quit no matter how much you reasoned through it. But now...everything would change, everything. Hell, what did this make V in relation to him? A second father? An uncle? Brother? Christ, everything was a mess.

He tried to ignore it as he carried V inside, Trish closing the door behind him with an absolutely incredulous look. Nero didn’t blame her--he felt the same way.

He looked gazed the kitchen, not seeing his wife nor Lady in the warm glow of the light overhead. Vergil was sitting at the dining table, head held up only by his hands and quiet as a mouse. Those blue eyes didn’t open even when Nero came in, the man looking like an absolute mess all things considered. He would have to be focused on later.

“Where’s Kyrie?” Nero asked Dante, who was standing by the phone on the wall and patiently waiting on the line for Morrison, most likely.

The grizzled man pointed upwards, signals read loud and clear as he covered the mouthpiece of the phone in hand, “They took the kid to her room--I told her to bring down a few sheets for V as well, ‘cause no offense...I don’t wanna tackle dressing him.”

That was completely fair and understandable. Nero didn’t want to do that either.

Speaking of his wife, she came back downstairs in that moment, looking a bit frazzled and clutching a bundle of sheets wrapped around a pillow. Everything had grown incredibly chaotic in the past few hours, even Kyrie had her limits of where level-headedness failed to solve problems. She very carefully made sure not to look at V’s body as she followed Nero into the garage, placing the poet down on the cot and taking the items from her hands a moment later. Precious, adorable woman was trying so hard to protect V’s modesty, red cheeks and eyes making sure to look away until Nero had placed both sheets over his body, pillow under his head. 

“It’s safe to look,” He told her, holding a hand on her cheek and stroking his thumb on that soft, familiar skin, “I’m sorry about everything that’s going on, babe...shit has gone completely off the rails.”

She smiled at that, meeting his anxious eyes with her own warm, brown orbs. A light kiss to his lips followed, taking with it all his fears and worries in an instant like a breath of fresh air.

“Don’t worry,” She promised, turning to finally look down at V’s sleeping face with curious eyes, “I’ve never seen him before...but Y/N talked about him a lot. V is truly special to her, and now...now he’s back. And that...that’s what matters, we can figure everything out as we go.”

He nodded at her words, taking solace in how steady and reasonable she sounded. Always the voice of reason, his shelter in the storm. Things always worked out when Kyrie made them so, and he would hold faith to that despite how batshit insane everything seemed. 

Focus on the good for now, the rest would fall into place.

So, he kissed her hand, standing in the doorway and watching as she walked back into the kitchen to survey how everyone was doing. Trish was sitting at the table trying to question Vergil, getting barely anything resembling responses while Dante talked over what happened with Morrison over the phone. Nero still felt...uneasy about how his father was doing, watching as Vergil practically peeled his eyes open to stare in exhaustion at Trish’s annoyed face. The poor guy looked like he needed a round of shots and then some--there was no telling what kind of punishments a god could put in place for a man like him. Whatever had happened left him without the energy to even banter with Dante, left him...guilty.

Kyrie wasn’t oblivious to any of it either. She paused by the coffee table, eyes understandably concerned as she graced Vergil with that caring expression of hers. Kyrie was such a fucking angel, far better a person than Nero--despite all his father had done, to him and others...she was still willing to help, to try and ease his suffering. The only reason Nero hadn’t kicked Vergil’s ass again was due to his wife talking him down from that anger, reasoning out why he should try and talk to this man who was his father. Kyrie was so good, a shining light in comparison to both Nero and Vergil in kind. And he couldn’t talk her out of that kindness, even for those who didn’t deserve it.

It was why Nero held his tongue while Kyrie paused, hesitating as she stared at Vergil’s face like those motherly instincts were battling with the reasoning inside her head. But, as always, kindness would always be the victory in these types of inner conflicts. A second later, she inhaled, putting on her most gentle, hesitant voice as she placed a hand on the table to get Vergil’s attention.

“Mister Vergil?” She asked, smiling softly when his father tilted his gaze in her direction with a hint of surprise, “Would you like some tea? I have herbal remedies that might make you feel better, you must be very tired.”

Say one mean thing to my wife, and you’re dead meat.

Nero stiffened, narrowing his eyes at Vergil as he waited for a response. Kyrie’s kindness aside, he was more than ready to punt the man out the door for her sake even if he was going through some rough shit. She always took priority, and anyone without manners didn’t belong in their house anyway.

But...Vergil managed to shock him again.

He merely closed his eyes, letting out a slow breath and running a hand through his messed up hair. Tone tired, voice heavy and hoarse as he replied quietly to her question.

“If it doesn’t burden you...then I wouldn’t mind some tea.”

Cue shocked stares from Trish, Nero, and Dante in kind. Vergil’s brother especially, his mouth popped open in surprise and eyes practically burning a hole into the man’s back. Out of everyone in the room, the devil hunter knew Vergil the most, so this must have been incredibly out of character, to be even remotely polite in any circumstance. But...Kyrie didn’t seem to mind, looking downright tickled pink as she nodded and turned toward the stove, putting the kettle on to boil and searching for their tea set in the cupboard. Damn, things were just growing more and more confusing, weren’t they? A downright mess, one that had been preparing to blow up after months of peace and quiet for all of them. 

But...Nero looked back at V’s peaceful face, his chest rising and falling with slow, even breaths. He looked at his father, seeing a change in him that was far beyond what anyone could comprehend. Everyone was back together, alive, whole. And you would get the love of your life back, after all these months of pain and suffering. He didn’t know what the God did, what transpired during those hours of time only you and Vergil had experienced. 

Regardless of all those uncertainties...he found himself far more relieved and happy than anything else. And if things tried to fall apart again…

Well. Then they would fix it.

(Your POV, the next Day)

Something...something is missing.

Something was taken.

Something was gone.

You had your memories altered frequently enough to know what your head had been fucked with. The sensation was unmistakable, more familiar than anything else as you started pulling yourself out of unconsciousness bit by bit. Back in that damned, dark pool of water again, the same one that weighed down your limbs and fogged out everything else. There were so many questions, so many swirling thoughts that constricted your mind like the flow of water. What had happened while in the Void with Vergil? Everything was so fuzzy after the second trial, cutting off abruptly after the Outsider started changing things over. Why couldn’t you remember? Did Vergil fail the third trial, is that why your head had been altered? For a brief, fleeting moment of panic that was the conclusion you drew, scrambling to pull yourself out of the darkness and back into waking once more. 

Get up, we have to do something.

Everything was so god damn heavy. It was like trying to yank your limbs out of mud, one appendage at a time, finger by finger. Waking came in bits and pieces, some faster than others, some slow and agonizingly patient. The sensation of warmth came first, a far cry from the Void despite that chill still lingering in your bones and limbs. Not that much time had passed, then--but the fact that you were no longer in the Void was startling enough. Or...was this another illusion, one brought about to make you feel a strange sense of comfort? You thought that living in the Void long enough gave you a good sense of reality, but...those trials had shaken your confidence a bit more than you’d care to admit. 

That uncertainty continued even as you regained feelings one by one, recognizing the softness of your own comforter under your shoulders and fingertips. My room? The taste of salt water was in the air, the sound of billowing curtains reaching your ears as the muffled feeling of being underwater faded away. Was it morning? How had you gotten home? And when? The breeze felt so real, so unbelievably welcome as it washed over your skin like a gentle caress. Illusion or not, you could have wept at the familiarity of your home, the sanctuary of your bedroom. It was on that comfort alone that you willed your eyes to open, flinching at the sunlight and lifting a hand to shield yourself from the glare.

Home...you were home.

You breathed slowly in and out as you watched the white curtains flow on the breeze, light and airy as they drifted above your bed. Dust motes danced in the sun’s rays, barely visible to the naked eye, but there nonetheless. Was...was this real? Were you really back, safe and sound? But...what about Vergil? 

Wait...something was off.

Worry...you were worried about Vergil, wanted to make sure he was safe after the ordeal he went through. The trauma of his mother’s death, of seeing the truths he fought so long to ignore...was he okay, after all of those terrible things? You still felt concerned about him, mind swirling with questions that weren’t answered. But...why did this feel off, different? Lacking its weight, lacking the spark it had before.

You waited for that sensation to return at the thought of him, that deep ache in your chest that longed for his touch and affections. Because V was a part of the surly man, and you longed to have him back even if it meant learning to love Vergil too. But...nothing came? You blinked, breath catching in your lungs as you searched inside yourself for those feelings, for that deep desire that had driven your emotions and actions for so many months. But...when you thought of Vergil, it felt strangely...disconnected. The worry for his well being existed, you still cared about his safety and his traumas after what happened...but something was very lacking, and you couldn’t figure out what.

That love for V was still there, thinking of him still made you ache and crave and hurt terribly. That was stronger than ever, a flame that would never go out inside of you for as long as you lived. If you were still in love with your poet, why did everything with Vergil feel so off now? Maybe...maybe that was what the Outsider altered, alongside your memories? But...he couldn’t have done such a thing, it would never benefit anything for either parties. The thought made your panic grow deeper, heartbeat speeding up at the idea of not being able to love V in his new form, the only opportunity you would get to have him again. Even if the son of Sparda had hurt you, even if he was cruel...you wanted to try, and that was never a choice you had wanted taken away.

Feeling that way felt so empty compared to before, lacking the conviction and focus. No reason to now, your mind told you, shrugging it all off like it was nothing. Didn’t it matter? Didn’t you want it to?

This should matter, shouldn’t it?

 You bit down on the confusing sensations, sitting up slowly and pressing a hand to your head. Upon further inspection, you were still wearing your clothes from the previous day, but the cuts on your arms were now gone. A frown marred your lips as you inspected them, lifting your palms to search for any trace of soot or ash from the fire--nothing, like none of the trials had even happened. There was no way all of it had been a dream, of that you were certain. The pain had been real, that raw, aching emotion. Your Deity had a hand in all of this, down to the last detail--you just didn’t know what he hoped to gain. It hurt to think of how complicated your relation with him had become, your father figure and only parent to speak of. He cared about you, didn’t he? It seemed like he did, at least from what memory you had. 

Christ, my head is all messed up.

You quickly surveyed your room, feeling a bit surprised at the sight of Lady asleep in an armchair, one tucked away near the steps leading up. When had she gotten here? The woman certainly looked...real. Leaning her head on one hand, lips parted with light breaths and wearing a tank top with black shorts. The sun made beautiful patterns on her thighs, dancing and swaying each time the curtains billowed. You hadn’t seen her in a month, having spoken and caught up during a visit to the orphanage not that long ago. Tears sprang to your eyes, heart aching now that she was there again like a life preserver in the sea of uncertainty. Waking up alone would have been awful in that moment, but...you realized that wouldn’t have been the case either.

Sitting up jostled a familiar cat-shape next to you, Shadow yawning and looking up at your face with bleary eyes. You breathed out a sigh of relief, hugging your arms around the demon and feeling that comforting purr in response--thank god, thank god. Real, solid, not an illusion. They felt happy to see you as well, seemingly unharmed by your time disconnected from them, which was a relief all its own. That connection was now loud and clear, a soundless cry and happiness coming from your familiar as you shared a brief moment of comfort.

Upon looking to your left, Griffon’s form was found huddled above your pillow, reflecting the light beautifully from his sapphire feathers and eyes still squeezed shut. Even in rest you could feel his worry and fear for you, stroking a hand down his back and smiling softly. Poor boy had a rough time when you were taken, that was for sure. It looked like he had preened his feathers one too many times in stress, quite a few missing from his tail. You felt so bad, forgetting your own woes for a moment in light of his as you gently scooped him up into your arms, the bird almost curled into a ball while sleeping. He gave a light trill when you did so, feathers shuddering out in delight when you scratched under his beak. So simple, as always. 

This is real, isn’t it? This is reality.

No more illusions.

For a few moments, things passed peacefully that way. You grounded yourself in reality, memorizing the sensation of Griffon’s silky feathers under your fingertips and counting each breath. That black strand of hair was back, which meant Nightmare must have returned to you while unconscious. His presence was most certainly there, gracing the edges of your mind in a low, wordless rumble of relief that made you give a gentle smile.The sun was warm, the breeze soothing, and both familiars were now held against you in a gentle, comforting manner. Enough to prove the truth before you, enough to shake off some of the fear and worry. But...not all of it--you still didn’t know what happened to Vergil, after all, and that was making your concern and hesitation grow like vines gripping your lungs and heart.

You heard low voices talking downstairs, barely audible through the floors and almost intelligible. It was uncertain if any of them were Vergil, but you were certain you heard Nero tell someone “Clothes first--then you can go see her.”

Clothes first? Her? Were they talking about you?

There wasn’t long to ponder it. Griffon started blinking awake in the next moment, squinting around the room before lifting his golden eyes up to your face. He earned a soft smile from you, his thoughts reached through your connection in a slow growth of shock and utter relief once he registered it was you holding him in your lap.

He jolted immediately, maw popping open as he squawked in surprise, “Toots….! You’re awake!”

“Shh…” You put a finger to your lips to shush him, looking up to see if he had woken up Lady at all.

 Unfortunately, it seemed like he had, unable to control his volume in such excitement. The woman in the chair started to stir, blinking awake right when Griffon pressed his beak insistently to your face, like doing so would somehow convey his level of urgency. Mind you, it did, but you felt a little bad about Lady being awoken by all the noise.

“You okay, toots?” Griffon squawked insistently, clawed feet gripping onto your arm as you let out a huff of air, “Hurt anywhere? Forgetting anythin’? What did the big bad bastard in the sky do to you?”

Well, that was a lot to answer, and worse so considering you had no idea how to respond to the ending two. No pain, but if you were forgetting memories how the hell could you know what they had been? Something was definitely missing, but...it was just that third trial, nothing else. Your mind still remembered V, your family in Fortuna, the familiars. Just what had Vergil seen that the Outsider felt the need to take away? It made no sense.

And trying to figure it out was...making you feel uneasy, like something was prickling its way along your spine. A warning, one that felt close to your Foresight and froze the thought before it had the chance to form. 

Bad, bad. You should stop doing that.

Don’t--just leave it alone for now.

“Y/N...!” 

You looked up in just enough time to see Lady launch herself from the chair, wrapping both arms around you and the familiars with a sigh of relief. Warm, she was warm and real. It was almost overwhelming for a moment, tears pricking your eyes and head leaning against her shoulder as the torrent of leftover fear and uncertainty tried to surge again. It had been so frightening, not knowing if you would be allowed to come home, trying to hold Vergil’s head above water through a flood of punishment and pain. You never wanted to lose what was here, this feeling of belonging and love. Nor did you want anyone to suffer that same fate, one of being thrown into the Void with no hope of getting out. 

Regardless.

“Y...you’re here…” You whispered to Lady, leaning back and letting her cup both cheeks, “What...what happened? How did I get home? Did Vergil make it back too?”

Please tell me he did--I don’t know if I could be allowed back there to find him.

But Lady smiled softly, leaning forward to press a kiss to your forehead and bringing an air of ease with it. There was no doubt she was sensing how overwhelmed you were, how worried. But if she wasn’t upset or concerned...things had to be alright, didn’t they? She would not lie.

“He’s alright,” She said soothingly, squishing your cheeks together lovingly, in a childish manner, “A portal appeared and spit you out onto the beach--he was downstairs with Dante and the others when Kyrie and I brought you up here last night.”

A gusty sigh of relief left you, head leaning forward to plop on her shoulder again as you muttered, “Oh thank God.” 

Vergil wasn’t in the Void, that alone was a huge blessing and a load off your back. The loss of memory, all the uncertainties...they could wait now, couldn’t they? To just make it out unharmed was enough of a victory to put you at ease.

But...was he alright? After all that emotional trauma, the trials, anyone could be severely messed up mentally. If the Outsider had freed Vergil, then something must have happened in that third trial to change his mind about punishment. What could have gone down? You were just hurting yourself trying to figure things out, not knowing if you had actually seen the trial at all--if your memory had been erased, it must have been something either the Outsider or Vergil didn’t want you to remember. Maybe the son of Sparda had done something truly terrible in his past that upset you? Something unforgivable. It both concerned you and released some of the ease on your half of the mystery. Maybe it hadn’t involved you at all, something super humiliating that Vergil just didn’t want you remembering.

Maybe.

You didn’t get the chance to bring anything up about it--Lady suddenly gasped, seeming to realize something and peeling herself off of you in the next instant, “Oh…!”

What had her so riled up? You blinked, watching in confusion as she kissed your cheek again, hurrying to your dresser and starting to rummage through clothes like her life depended on it. Did you miss something by chance, some sign or signal that they needed to get ready? A bit of nervousness remained, making the thought of seeing Vergil again seem...off. There was no more of that charged energy for whatever reason, but it was still going to be hard to face him after everything that happened. That kiss seemed pretty far away, more muted in intensity alongside all the other moments shared between you and the surly son of Sparda.

Oh lord. You’d have to tell the girls about that at some point.

But Lady didn’t notice your hesitation, nor the questioning looks thrown her way. There might as well have been a question mark above your head, but the older woman only held up a finger in a motion that said hold on. Well then. You instead exchanged a look with Griffon like he would somehow have the answers you sought, but were immediately startled when all three familiars blocked their thoughts out--What the hell was going on now? Shadow ignored the very loud thought pushed their way as they licked your cheek and excitedly trotted down the stairs, tail swishing back and forth. As for your favorite bird, he gave a low, ominous chortle, hopping out of your arms and to the dresser Lady was busying herself with.

What the hell was happening? And why did it feel like you were missing the punchline to a joke? 

“What are you guys doing?” You asked aloud, hopping off of the bed and pressing a hand to your head when a wave of dizziness hit like a baseball bat. Ugh, coming out of the Void always made you feel gross, like your sense of balance was thrown off. Shaking the sensation off slightly, you peeked over Lady’s shoulder and asked in deep concern, “I feel like you both are scheming--what have I missed?” 

And why did it involve your clothes?

Lady smirked playfully, turning to face you and shoving a few pieces of clothing in your hands, “You’ll see. Be a good girl and put these on.”

A frown marred your lips, eyes darting down to see a lacy, shoulder baring top and high-waisted shorts. Very pretty, very feminine and picked out for a reason if Lady’s careful searching was any indication of her motives. This was feeling far too theatrical for your tastes, and the reason for all of it was being very clearly hidden by your two friends. The schemers in question exchanged a quick glance, Lady winking at him before turning away to head for the stairs and ignoring your looks of bafflement. 

She paused at the top, blowing you a light kiss as she purred, “If we’re going to do this, we’re going all out.”

You opened your mouth to ask just exactly what “this” was, but Lady wasn’t waiting for a reply. She quickly trotted down to the second floor, the sound of her footsteps fading away and leaving you standing there in a state of dazed confusion. What...what was going on? They all seemed pretty excited about something, despite how dire everything had been just the previous day. 

You lifted the clothes Lady had deposited in your arms and gazed at them with wary eyes, not wanting to be difficult despite how strange everyone was acting. The whole state of this situation wasn’t helping your nerves, not after just convincing yourself that this was reality and not an illusion. Everyone was acting really weird, but...maybe you had just missed something big while being asleep?

You turned to level a look of annoyance of Griffon when he chuckled again, feeling a bit betrayed considering the fact that he and the others were making sure you got absolutely nothing from them. Whatever this was, they were in on it, and that so wasn’t cool.

Griffon rolled his eyes at your sour expression, tapping his claws on the dresser as he sang at you, “Don’t give me that look, toots--you should probably light a fire under that butt of yours.”

“I get sucked into the Void for a night and you guys have me playing dress up?” You replied shortly, tone clipped and very doubtful as you sat down on the edge of the bed to undo your suspenders. 

“Boy, you sure are cranky today, aren’t ya?” The bird rolled his eyes, shaking out his feathers and looking a bit impatient at your slow, hesitant process of removing clothes, “Just play along.”

Wasn’t like you had any other choice, right?

Griffon pointedly looked away while you undressed, always trying to be respectful of your modesty despite literally living in your body most of the time. He didn’t respond to your annoyed question in the long run, wearing the closest thing to a smirk that an avian demon could have. That beak was sealed up tight, wasn’t it? What a traitor--you rolled your eyes at the thought, shimmying out of your clothes piece by piece and putting on a completely fresh outfit despite the grievances weighing you down. There would be not point in arguing with everyone so dead set on not explaining, so the next best thing was to simply play along and get to the answer sooner rather than later. You didn’t mind just as long as people were honest when this big secret was revealed to your eyes.

Griffon seemed satisfied that you were now complying, letting out a low chuckle and turning only when he was sure you were decent. One hop later and he was perched on your bare shoulders as always, careful not to mark up your skin with his claws. You would admit it just felt nice to be back with them, those hours in the Void seeming like a lifetime with you not knowing if they were alright. And despite Griffon’s mischief, he seemed just as pleased to be right where he wanted to be again, leaning his beak on the top of your head and settling into the familiar pattern you both shared. It was almost enough to make you forgive him for hiding this big secret from you. Almost, but not quite.

“Let’s get movin’,” He insisted impatiently, tugging on a piece of your hair as you started slowly walking down the stairs, “I ain’t got all day, and I wanna see the show god damn it…!”

Show? What show? Things were only growing more and more convoluted.

“What on Earth are you going on about?” You sighed softly, making your way through the hall and down the main steps to the foyer of the house, “What show are you waiting for exactly?”

“You’ll see.” Griffon chortled, launching off your shoulders to sail ahead of you. Down the hall, toward the kitchen and out of sight. 

Well now. That was certainly ominous.

 You paused in the hallway, vaguely wondering where the children were at this time of morning, and if Kyrie and Nero were okay. It must have been past eight o’clock, usually the kids would be running around and chaotic at such an hour and getting ready for the day. There was no patter of little feet, no yelling or giggling to be heard of. You took the time to peer into the living room where their camping stuff was still set up, worrying that their evening events may have been further ruined by your disappearance and the demon attack. Christ, you hoped they weren’t too scared--things like that could be damaging to kids. But it still looked like they had slept overnight in the front room, a mess that would have to be cleaned up later.

You shook your head, finally resigning yourself to the fate waiting with the others. Each step felt measured and careful, the kitchen door ajar as you approached it and wafting out the lightest aroma of tea. That was the herbal stuff you and the girls had purchased from the market, scented with the faintest hint of chamomile and honey. Familiar voices were speaking, relief filling you when you recognized the soft voices of Kyrie and Nico with Nero adding in his two cents occasionally. They sounded calm, albeit slightly riled up about something you couldn’t identify by their light chattering. Well... If they were here and awake, then maybe there wasn’t so much to worry about, right?

Swallowing your sense of confusion, you pushed through the door. 

All eyes immediately turned when you entered, making you feel a bit nervous and out of place. Kyrie, Nico, Lady, Dante…and Vergil sat at the table, throwing you through a complete loop. You weren’t sure what to feel when your eyes locked with the silver haired male, taking in his normal clothes with a surreal sense of bewilderment. He was here, he was alive, and…

You felt nothing.

 It felt...off, seeing him now in comparison to before. Something was different, the air no longer charged with an energy you didn’t understand. Your eyes met, but you saw a similar lack of emotion coming from him, like whatever had bound you together was now...gone. And that was worrying to you, sending a ball of anxiety to your stomach and making you hesitate in the doorway.

Did the Outsider change us?

But...I didn’t want that, didn’t want to lose the part of Vergil that I cared about.

Is this what Vergil wanted, to not have to worry about our feelings anymore?

The man in question seemed to be sipping a cup of tea, donning a simple blue button up and black slacks instead of his fancy coat and vest. It looked strangely domestic, and there was definitely something different about him in comparison to before. He looked...tired, eyes meeting yours for that second and lacking the usual hardness he once showed you. No longer cold, just very heavy and...guilty? He didn’t look away, but didn’t show any indication of feeling for you what was shown in the Void and through those trials.

Christ. What the hell was going on?

“Y/N…!” Kyrie exclaimed in relief, standing so she could quickly walk around the table and hug you close. Her embrace was always so warm, so comforting and definitely needed in the moment of uncertainty you were experiencing. Nico came next, hugging you tightly and squeezing until you felt the need to wheeze at such an exuberant display of affection.

“You sure had us worried, sugar,” Nico huffed, leaning back and pinching one of your cheeks between her fingers, “How are ya feelin’ this mornin’?”

Well now. That was a very good question, wasn’t it? Confused, disoriented, uncertain ...but otherwise fine. There was no word that summed that all up in one fell swoop other than...strange.

You paused, looking around the kitchen for Griffon and Shadow only to find that they were absent as well. Where had the familiars gone now? Still no sign of the children either, something that was slowly beginning to worry you considering all that had happened in the night.

You let out a slow breath, trying to gather your racing thoughts together before replying, “I’m...I’m fine, just a bit disoriented is all,” Understatement of the century, but there were questions that needed answers, “Where are the kids? Are they okay?” You paused, looking between the two women to the spiky-haired male that went through the whole ordeal all the same, “Are you okay?”

Vergil paused in sipping his cup of tea, icy blue eyes meeting yours again with that same guilt you saw before, but...a lot more calm. He in general seemed a lot less tense, that rude temper he seemed to pride himself on dulled to the point that it was no longer present. Was that...normal? Had the Outsider done something to him too, maybe changed his memories or his mood? But if he meant to punish Vergil, why the hell would such a thing be done in the first place?

It didn’t make sense.

 The son of Sparda hesitated before replying to you, exchanging a short, knowing look with Dante as he sipped that tea.

“I am fine,” He finally spoke, tone low and unreadable as he closed his eyes and savored the flavor of his beverage like it was one of the most calming thing he had tasted, “You should focus on yourself, Y/N.”

You frowned at his response, feeling a tad uneasy with how simple and calm things felt. That familiarity you once shared with him, that deep need and affection...where had it all gone? It was all very strange, your body whispering of things long passed, and things that would never come again.

All of it felt very...final. Like the closing of a book, the pages able to rest after years of being plucked with no end. 

Kyrie grasped one of your hands to gain your attention, her brown eyes soft and kind when you turned to look at her, “Trish took the kids out to the bakery for breakfast--they were a little nervous about the demon attack last night, but Trish and Lady helped calm them down and keep the distractions going until they went to bed in their tent.”

Thank the Void for that at least. You released a light sigh, putting a hand to your chest and willing your heart to slow down just a tad. The children had still camped out in the living room, and they didn’t see any of the bullshit that went down when you were snatched away. This was for the best, you would hate for them to be traumatized by the day’s events after losing out on the festival and having their camp out disturbed. One worry checked off the list, now about a million more to tend to.

But there was no chance of asking any more questions.

Dante smirked over the rim of what looked to be a cup of coffee, one loaded with cream and sugar as he took a loud sip, “Your little birdie and kitty cat are out the beach--you should go out and say hi.”

Everyone took on a strange look of anticipation at his words, minus you and Vergil. The expression on your face was somewhere between wariness and confusion, whereas the son of Sparda looked calm and content in ignoring the whole situation and enjoying his tea. Just what the fuck was going on, and why were they all looking at you like there was a big secret to tell? It made you very nervous indeed, blinking as you met Kyrie’s eyes and felt her squeeze your hand encouragingly. There was something in her smile, something that made your heart start pounding faster and faster until you were sure it was trying to burst from your chest.

Why...why am I feeling this?

Vergil is right there, isn’t he?

So why is my heart aching so much?

Your mind refused, it was trying to protect you from anything it might try and conjure up as the source of all this madness. What could cause them to all look like that? What could be waiting for you outside that would require so much secrecy? There was only one thing you wanted, craved, needed more than anything. And he...he was gone, he couldn’t exist while Vergil was still here, living and whole. You were supposed to try for him, right? You were supposed to help him through his trauma and let him embrace V after years of suppressing his humanity.

But...your soul was starting to ache, to tremble. Not for you to stay with Vergil, but to walk out the back door and onto the beaches of Fortuna.

That can’t be right...can it?

Nero was watching you from the table, taking in the changes of your expression and probably reading the nervousness and hesitation there. You met his gaze briefly, seeing a steadiness there that you wished could be shared through the rising torrent of emotion trying to rise in your head. 

“Come on, kid,” He said after a few moments of silence, grunting as he stood up from the table and holding out a hand for you to take, “I’ll come with--trust me, this is definitely not something you wanna wait on.”

Nero knew you well, knew what happened in the Qliphoth tree and saw you at your most vulnerable. There was a level of trust shared that had not been broken, but...Why were you so anxious? Where was this uncertainty coming from? You didn’t know what was waiting for you out there, but...there was a ball of anticipation and worry curling in your stomach, heavy and showing no signs of leaving. 

This is reality, isn’t it? There’s no chance, there’s--

You swallowed, hesitantly taking Nero’s hand with unsteady fingers. For whatever reason, you could feel Vergil’s eyes watching as this happened, seeing only a glimpse of his expression out of your peripheral view. What was that look that flashed in his eyes, something like...remorse? But that couldn’t be right, could it? You didn’t get to focus on it long, Nero tugging you around the table and heading toward the door. Everyone was staring now, Nico and Kyrie smiling goofily and inching their way behind you as Nero clicked the door open, allowing a rush of warm, morning air to gust into the kitchen and curl around your form.

You paused in the doorway, feeling Nero’s fingers squeeze yours encouragingly as he stopped to look back at your conflicted face. The boy certainly looked wise beyond his years in that moment, the sun making his white hair glow as it swayed in the breeze and eyes steady and encouraging. He was your best friend, a brother in so many ways after all he had done to help you bounce back from the terrible events in the Qliphoth.

You had laughed with him, cried with him, and went on so many missions to both fight demons and improve Fortuna. Kyrie, Nero, Nico, Lady, Trish, all the kids...they were so very precious to you, filling up the void V had left behind and not faltering once despite not owing you anything in the first place. Dante too, and then Vergil...all these people formed pieces of your lives, and they should have been enough.

They were everything. Everything you wanted, needed, and adored. 

Why should you want more? Why was your heart throbbing in your chest, pushing you to look out at the sand, searching for the one thing you knew shouldn’t be there?

Nero gave you a crooked half smile, coaxing you forward with a little push to your lower back. You tried to keep your steps steady, eyes down on the sand and watching the way your toes sank into it, glistening warmly in the morning sun. Why couldn’t you bring yourself to look up? Why couldn’t you look out across the beach for the familiar shapes of Griffon and Shadow? You were no coward, not a fool and certainly not the type to hope for silly, impossible things. But there was a rising sense of energy in the air, one you recognized all too well. That drawl, the way your chest ached...swallow your fear, lift your head.

 You’ve come this far, haven’t you?

The worst case scenario is nothing will be there.

But somehow...that seems like more than I can take.

You breathed out a slow, shaking breath when Nero paused in front of you, releasing your fingers despite how desperately you wanted to hang on. Lifeline gone, eyes still down on the floor despite how much every part of you was screaming for the chance to look up. The silence was so...peaceful, usually calming but not so much with how frayed your nerves had become. The rolling waves, the summer breeze, and the sensation of being watched from all sides. Every person in the kitchen was more than likely watching out the window at you, eager to see your reaction to whatever awaited. It was incredibly nerve wracking, your heart thudding away very quickly and lungs feeling like they were aching in your chest. 

Look up.

Please, look up.

There was a sound on the beach in front of you, like someone was pulling themselves off of the sand. For a moment, you thought it was Shadow, hearing the padding of their paws as they settled around your feet. Black, shiny fur, red eyes. Now in your line of view, purring away as a means to try and comfort its host in such an obvious state of worry--but it wasn’t the mighty cat that was heard. A rustle of fabric, breath sucked between lips as someone stood mere feet away from you, their eyes locked on your face. And yet...you still couldn’t bring yourself to look up, the wind sending your hair waving in the breeze as a moment of silence passed uninterrupted by any of the people standing there.

Afraid. You were afraid everything around you wasn’t real, that when you looked up nothing would be here. Back in the Void, an illusion. Or maybe that it would be something else, not what you were hoping for more than anything in that moment. Things rarely worked out so easily, did they? Not for someone like you, born to taste the fruits of happiness but never be able to keep them. Things that were too good to be true generally always were, so how could you even begin to hope for what you wanted, what you craved more than anything? The thought of it alone made you want to cry, to wail and weep like you had all those months ago in the Qliphoth tree. Everything had come so far, the recovery process hard and filled with turmoil. 

It never stopped the desire, it never stopped the loneliness and longing.

Your fingers started to tremble when footsteps approached you slowly from the front, muffled and soft in the sand. Like whoever it was walked barefoot. Even then, you didn’t look up, heart pounding like fists on steel walls, sobbing and begging to see who it was, to embrace it. Shadow leaned their weight on your legs, the only proof of reality you could ground yourself in with the storm of emotion raging in your heart. They were solid, warm, fur soft as it brushed your bare skin and rumbling with a purr. Those red eyes lifted toward the newcomer when they stopped in front of you, feet away and still silent despite your terse refusal to look up yourself. You couldn’t even see their feet, but the presence was undeniably familiar. 

That energy, that sensation of being so close to home with it just out of reach.

You know who that is, don’t you?

Why not take the chance?

After everything that has happened...we can afford to be disappointed.

Nero took a few steps back, like he was passing you off to the person standing silently in wait. It felt...strange. He briefly put a hand on your shoulder as a sign of support, a light squeeze that was enough to remind you that someone always had your back. Whether it be him or the others, if you felt like falling there would always be people there to catch you. Good things had happened, didn’t they? A family, a home, a purpose...all things you never thought would come, but they had. You managed to lift yourself up, their hands supported you until each foot could move on its own. And now it felt like the impossible could become real, that you could somehow get everything you had hoped for.

But your mind still didn’t want to risk hurting you. Even when the silence was finally broken, when the person before you sucked in a soft breath, releasing it slowly before they spoke in a voice all too familiar. Like melted honey, soft and melodic. One that made your heart go into overdrive, so many emotions and feelings flooding inside that you felt like you might collapse, knees weakening and head feeling a bit dizzy. Mind over reality, hopes and dreams battling with the acceptance of that you thought was set in stone. 

But this was reality, wasn’t it? 

“He who binds to himself a joy, does the winged life destroy,” His voice was gentle, sounding just as hesitant and aching as you. Like he was putting a thousand apologies into those words, a million emotions that echoed yours in kind, “But he who kisses the joy as it flies, lives in eternity’s sunrise.”

It can’t--

It can’t be him--

That wasn’t possible, was it?

You were on the verge of collapse, tears burning in your eyes as the torrent of emotions threatened to rise. God, how long had it been since you heard his voice? Months, so many months of missing and craving that warm tone, of hearing him whisper and recite those same poems that you had read in the book Nero kept in the kitchen. V’s book, the one he left behind. Hearing it now was like being hit by a truck, threatening to make you fall to your knees and weep for all you had lost, for how much you wanted it back. Please--Please please please. Let this be real, let this not be a dream or an illusion.

I can’t take disappointment again.

You were starting to breath heavily, one hand raising to grip at the lacy blouse above your heart and clench around the fabric. What were you supposed to say? To feel? How could you begin to accept this as real?

How could you possibly get to feel this love again, after waiting for so long?

“Why do you hide your eyes from me, Sparrow?” His voice whispered softly when your silence persisted, aching like he wanted to reach over the distance and touch you. Waiting, not wanting to move too fast, not wanting to push it, “Won’t you look at me? Are you angry?”

This hurts. This is too much.

I want--

You swallowed down a sob, shoulders shaking delicately with the force of your restrained emotions as you whispered hollowly in response, “B...because...I’m afraid that when I look up, none of this will be real. I...I don’t want any more illusions.”

Not anymore. 

You can’t exist while Vergil does, can you?

He paused again, a shaken breath leaving his lungs at your soft, trembling words. He knew just as well what happened in the Void as you, having seen it from Vergil’s eyes. Each trial, each seemingly real image of other places and other times...surely making him seem there could be child’s play, as unrealistic as it would be for the Outsider to do that to you. But maybe all of this wasn’t real, an illusion created by the Void to put you at ease? It didn’t feel that way, it felt achingly warm and real, solid and lacking the instability those illusions had. No Void whispers, no occasional flicker of cold. Just the sun, the beaches, and…

 I’m scared. I’m want you so badly, and I’m afraid that you’re not really here. 

You had been hurt far too much the way it was, that was common enough knowledge. He knew that.

It was why he crossed the space between you both, slipping his warm fingers over your cheeks to hold them with a gentleness you recognized and ached for. His touch was like a jolt of electricity, making you gasp and those tears finally drip from your eyes, no longer held back like all the conflicted emotions. Solid, solid--that feels so real, so god damn real. It was like a breath of air after months of drowning, sending your heart racing and sobbing in absolute relief. More than that kiss with Vergil had been, more than anything you’d ever experienced. It was what finally made you knees give out, all of the emotions too much for you to handle and sending you to your knees like you were in prayer.

Or it would have. He caught you with those familiar arms, holding you up and against his chest as the first sob broke from your lips. His embrace was so warm, one hand holding you up while the other tilted up your chin, letting your eyes see him truly for the first time--and what a sight he was, illuminated by the rays of the sun, white hair drifting in the breeze and jade gaze staring into yours with so many apologies, so much emotion and adoration it made your heart break in two. There were tears in his eyes, glistening on his white lashes in the morning sun like diamonds.

Real--he is real, he is here. You could hardly fathom what you were seeing, taking him in through the tears in your eyes like he was the sun itself.

So many months spent imagining him, so many nights dreaming of what he looked like and if you would ever see that beautiful face again. This was everything--he was everything, and your imagination could never truly capture him. Your hands lifted on their own, tracing the soft lines of his lips, up his high cheekbones and through his soft hair. Real real real. Alive. You were feeling him, he was here--and that was enough to send your head spinning, eyes dropping more and more tears for him to brush away with his beautiful fingers. Illusion or not, real or not...this was everything. A balm on your wounded soul, like coming home after months of wandering lost. The last piece of your life’s puzzle falling into place.

He was back. You didn’t know how, but V was back and alive.

“Oh darling…” V breathed, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead while sobs continued to leave your lips. He then kissed your cheeks, your hair, murmuring softly and sorrowfully, “I don’t deserve your forgiveness, not after how many times I have made you cry...I am sorry for everything that I have done, every lie that I told you, I…”

He was apologizing over and over, kiss after kiss grazing parts of your face and even sweeter than the last. You didn’t care, you didn’t care--All of the anger, the heartbreak, the betrayal you felt while processing the loss of the one you loved most...none of that seemed to matter anymore. You launched yourself at the poet, causing him to release a startled grunt as you knocked him back onto the sand with your arms around his neck. Griffon and Nero snickered at your exuberant display of affection, watching in amusement at V’s flustered expression. Making him blush was something you never thought would happen again, but it did when you pressed your lips to his, hands buried in his silken hair like he had never been gone at all.

You didn’t care who saw, either. All the eyes from the house were watching, but Christ you could never care.

It came with belated realization that V was no longer wearing his vest and slacks from the day he left. When you leaned back from kissing him, you realized he was in a baggy, black v-neck and jeans that both looked like they didn’t fit him very well. No more tattoos, but that made sense considering that they were on your body now--he looked healthy, a far cry from the cracking man in the Qliphoth tree. His jade eyes were bright when they met yours, lips tilted in that familiar smirk and skin glowing in the sun. Still skinny, but with steady meals and care he could probably start feeling a lot better. The idea of getting to do that with him, getting to live with him…

It made you positively lightheaded.

“How?” You breathed, putting a hand to his cheek and feeling giddy when he nuzzled into your palm, “I don’t understand--Vergil is still here, still whole. How can this be real?”

V let out a low hum, sitting up and kissing your fingers with gentle lips, “A gift from the Outsider...He was angry at Vergil for the things he had done, but…” His eyes went dark for a moment at mention of the Void’s events, but it disappeared as he added, “A man named Corvo stepped in to calm him down, and they both decided it would be best to separate me from Vergil and allow him to keep his humanity anew.”

Corvo had been there? You blinked in surprise, feeling a bit disappointed that there was no chance to say hello. You hadn’t seen him in ages, always off on missions when he visited or sleeping in the Void. The fact that he had to calm down the Outsider was surprising to you--the God had never seemed easily emotional, so hearing that he was angry was...strange. Everything was now. After all the mixed feelings you had for the man you considered a father, he had still come through in the end and brought V back, fixed everything. And that…that was more than you could hope for.

I’ll have to make a shrine at some point...talking to him about what happened might be best.

You shook your head to clear the thoughts, pressing a hand to his chest and feeling his heart thudding at a steady pace. Warm, alive.

“So...so no more crumbling…?” You murmured hesitantly, threading your fingers with his when he grasped with his own, “You...you’re not a part of Vergil anymore…?”

V smiled softly, white hair drifting over his lovely jade eyes as he confirmed, “No more crumbling--I share Vergil’s memories, but I am my own person now. Whole, with new memories to make and a life to live outside of him.”

Free.

You wrapped your arms tightly around his neck again, feeling his warm chuckle right by your ear as absolute relief and joy threatened to spill forth. No more lies, no more barriers, no more hesitations--V was himself, and yours to hold and love without worry. That was why the energy between you and Vergil seemed gone, why the surly man seemed indifferent now. The part of him that was in love with you was now free, separate to do what he wished and make his own life. And what better outcome could you ask for other than this? All your worries about the third trial missing from your memory, all the uncertainties and worries that had once been so loud...they were quiet now, buried under layers of overwhelming joy.

You kissed V again like he was the air your breathed, a soft sound of contentment brushing against his lips. There were several months apart to make up for, and things were starting to get carried away.

How could you help it?

Griffon let out a heavy, impatient sigh from behind you both, the sound of flapping wings coming next as he landed on the sand, “Alright kids, gettin’ too cozy for our liking. Are you forgettin’ you have an audience?”

You and V both blinked, looking up and behind to see Nero was no longer standing there by himself. Kyrie, Nico, and Lady were now with him, grinning as they watched embarrassment flash across your expressions. Dante and Vergil were now out on the deck, both still holding their cups and watching all of this go down as well. Dante smirking in amusement, Vergil looking impassive and blank. 

Did he willingly give up his human half for you, so V could be reborn again? At some point you might have been a bit wistful about that, wondering why Vergil just didn’t try to pick up where V left off, but it hardly mattered. There was no connection left for him, but you did hope to be his friend at the very least, or to thank him for what was done.

Regardless, you smiled at the bemused group, rising to your feet and helping V up. This all felt so surreal, but you were riding on a wave of so many good energies that there was no room left to care. 

Kyrie looked ready to bounce in place, hands clasped together in front of her chest and beaming with happiness, “We should have a celebration today--no better way to mark a joyous occasion, and It’ll make the children happy…!”

You nodded at that, feeling V come up behind you and wrap both of his arms around your waist. It was definitely odd--you he had ever been to a party before, and especially not one marking his return. Hell, this could be his birthday if they wanted it to--and judging by the looks everyone wore the idea of having a celebration was exactly what everyone needed.

Nero put an arm around Kyrie’s waist, pressing a light kiss to her brow as he replied, “Sounds good to me--just as long as we never let Dante near a grill again.”

“I heard that!” The man in question called from the deck, but he was still smirking as he lifted the coffee cup to his lips. 

You had no idea what Dante did to earn a ban status on the grill, but it was not the priority at that moment. Nico and Lady started tugging you both toward the house, Griffon landing on V’s shoulders this time and complaining at him about what a dumbass he had been, and about how they would be forced to have joint custody over the familiars because “there was no way in hell he wanted to lose out on the cool Void powers”. Shadow weaved between everyone’s legs, tail swishing excitedly and red eyes bright with interest as they all started making their way back in. You couldn’t blame them for being so energetic--things had gone from absolute madness and chaos to the best outcome you could hope for overnight.

V’s fingers entwined with yours while walking, determined not to let go after so long of not being able to have you. A lifeline, one that you never thought you’d have again. No more worrying about him falling apart, or about hidden secrets. There was so much room to grow even closer, no more secrets left to hide and everything laid bare. And you could tell he had realized the same, his jade eyes soft and deep when you glanced back at his lovely face. There was a hint of nervousness there with so much attention on him, especially with Nico and Lady making sure to lecture him on what happened.

But...your poet looked happy. There was an ease to him no, lacking in the driven, haunting looks he had in the Qliphoth tree. Peaceful--there were no more burdens to bear, no more sacrifices to make. Just time to heal, to grow better and start a new life. 

And for once, after years and years of fighting and struggling...the fruits of happiness were yours to take. No more reminders of pain, no more sleeping in the Void. It finally felt like you were home, surrounded by smiling family with V’s hand back in yours. The kids would come home from the bakery to a new member of the household, but somehow you had the feeling that V would be good with kids. To move on from Vergil’s memories wouldn’t be easy, but you knew he could handle it with everyone here to help. 

And Vergil...he was free of V, and of you. Something that might have been bittersweet, but he seemed content. Sipping his tea, quipping back at his son when he made a snide remark about his cooking too. There was a hint of a smile on his lips, lacking the bite he had before and seemingly trying to talk to Nero, to get along and learn about his son. The trials really seemed to change his mind about things, which might have been for the best.

You were happy. Content. And at the end of the day, that was all you ever wanted.

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[kast43]

How The Arcana Characters treat a Sick MC

[I kinda got bored and felt like writing some DONT SUE ME...feedback much appreciated btw :D]

+Asra+ -He would be on his way back home from a trip -lets call it...shared empathy 😉 -Asra himself had felt quite sluggish for a few days now, but could not determine what it was. -No fever, no nausea, muscles sore? -He opened the door to the shop, "MC I am home!" He called. -Saw MC about dosed off on the work table when they suddenly shot up. "Oh, welcome back! How was your trip?" MC asked. -Frankly Asra would instantly worry hearing the fatigue in their voice [ya know...does not want a repeat] -Without much words Asra came up to MC and took their face in his hands. -MC was burning up! -"MC, are you feeling well? You have a fever..." Asra slid one hand down to there shoulder. -Asra carefully studied MC...especially their eyes as the responded. -"oh...its nothing. I am just a bit tired is all. We got a little busy while you were away..." -if guilt could stab someone, Asra would have been stabbed in the heart. -"MC, you really should not take on more than you can handle." Asra would then realize why he felt sluggish for days. "...have you gotten any sleep?" -MC just gave a sheepish smile "Yes~" they responded...or lied. -Asra was in the perfect balance of panic, worry, guilt and frustration. -"why did you open the shop? You need to get some rest." Asra stated, now beginning to guide MC up to the bedroom. -"Im fine i swear!" MC began to protest until they suddenly stopped to hold the counter, loosing balance. -"...have you eatten today?" Asra asked knowing the answer already. -Again with the sheepish grin, "i might have forgotten..." -this was the last straw for Asra, how could he allow MC to take such poor care of themselves. -"the shop is going to be closed today. You are going to get some rest. I wont take no for an answer" he stated, almost picking MC up. -if he succeeded then he would feel MC go softly limp in his arms. "I...but...there is still too much to do..." was all the protest MC could muster up. -"it can all wait, your health comes first..." he stated softly as he carried MC to bed. -he offered to make his special sleep aid tea, even went to go get some fresh pumpkin bread to go with it. -as stubborn as MC is, they really could not argue with Asra, just accepted and took on some paperwork when he was not paying attention -Asra knew this...made the tea a bit strong. -in the time that Asra watched MC finish her tea and bread, walk down to lock up the shop and come back, MC had passed out. -Asra took all of the "hidden" paper work and set it to the side, but not his worry. -if available he called Julian. -Julian eased his mind, was not the plague. -MC just worked themselves into severe fatigue. -Asra was so relieved and yet he felt guilty for leaving MC like this. -looks like Julian helped himself to the tea. -Julian is now passed out on the couch, Asra shrugs. It probably was for the better. -when MC finally woke up, Asra had made their favorite meal so they would eat. -MC got a good laugh when seeing Julian on the couch, now sprawled out. -when Asra nursed MC back to health he would promise to never leave them alone again. -if he had to go out, he would take MC with him. Even to the store. -Asra just wants MC to take better care of themselves,  and will become fiercely protective of that for the rest of his life.

×Julian× -being a doctor he would have noticed small signs right away. -MC suddenly didn't feel like eating. -strike 1 -it was the night of the week they took a date to the Rowdy Raven. -MC didn't really want to go, felt too tired to go. -strike 2 buddy -however MC was oddly persistent in Julian going...alone. -"you have had a rough week, and you have been looking forward to this" mc said -"darling you have been working hard this week also. If anyone needs a release it would be you" Julian replied. -after much debate Julian said he would go to please MC. -he did go, but after about an hour or so he didn't feel 'it'. -no matter how many salty bitters he drank there was still a chunk of his night missing. -he would staggerly head back home, excited to be reunited with the love of his life. -"DID YOU MISS ME DARLING? I MISSED YOU" he drunkenly declared -odd, MC was not in bed...or in the living room...the hunt begins. -he froze when he heard a familiar sound of vomiting coming from the kitchen. -surely MC didn't ditch him to work more? -he staggered to the kitchen and saw MC hunched over the sink. [Lets say they tried to eat and it suddenly came back up?] -does not matter how many bitters this man had, he sobered up immediately and practically ran to MC. -Julian went to aid the best he could, holding MC's hair, rubbing their back, ect. -MC is mortified, they didn't want to be seen like this, especially in front of Julian. -"my dearest MC I see this all the time. The one who should be ashamed is me for not noticing sooner." -after MC was sure they were finished vomiting, Julian carried [yes, as dramatic as he could be] MC to bed. -Julian would refuse to leave MC's side the entire time they had the flu. -need a bucket? He had one ready. -needed to go to the bathroom? He carried them. -if not for the crow summoning Portia he probably would not eat if MC didn't. -MC would refuse cuddles, sad Julian is sad. -"you are gonna get sick too" -"i happen to know that the only cure for flu is cuddles" -"...not leeches?" -"surprisingly not...didn't work well last time i tried that" -Small conversation cheered MC up. -Portia dragged Julian away while MC slept so he could eat and sleep himself...unwillingly of course -eventually MC would be on the road to recovery -Julian asked for some famous home made soup from Mazelinka...for MC of course. -because of all the rejected cuddles it would not be surprising if Julian ended up with the flu next -that’s when MC repaid all the love and care given to them...minus the cuddle attempts... -Julian would no doubt enjoy cuddles -can you say never ending flu? -Poor Portia taking care of 2 sick idiots forever [jk MC is not that dumb]

=Nadia= -lets be honest, Nadia probably knew MC was sick before they did. -one morning Nadia woke up around the same time she always did. -always before MC, but not like this. -something was off and Nadia knew the moment she sat down for breakfast. -would send Portia to wake MC as usual... -Portia came back with an odd look -"Mistress, I think MC is a bit under the weather..." -"What makes you think that?" Nadia asked...as if she didn't know -"Well, they look...rough. I mean a touch pale...dark circles under their eyes" Portia mimicked as she spoke “When I left the room I heard them coughing too” -Nadia nodded -Big sneeze coming From down the hall -as if on Que, here comes MC, just as described. -"Good morning " MC spoke, voice very nasally. -Sniffles, hard for Nadia to not find it adorable -MC sat down next to Nadia, rubbing her temple -Nadia recognized that gesture -"MC, are you feeling alright?" -"yeah, just didn't sleep well last night" MC tried to lie, Nadia knew better -turns away to cough -"seems more than that" Nadia stated while placing her hand on MC's forehead. -as expected, a fever. -Nadia slid closer to MC "MC dear why don’t you take the day off...get some rest." -we all know that was in fact not a question, nor a suggestion. -"i cant do that, i have to help you with the dinner" -as if by coincidence the both of them had been planning a big family/friends dinner...being held tonight -Nadia felt partly to blame for putting stress on MC, causing this -"do you think anyone wants you to go to dinner if you are sick?" -"well....no..i guess not-" sneeze, sniff "but you don't need to take this on your own. Let me help..." -"you can help me by going back to bed." -"Nadia...its just a cold i have worked through much worse" -this was Nadia's trigger -"what you have done in the past is behind you. You are my partner now...there is absolutely no need for you to be working under stress.." Nadia stood, coming even closer to MC - Nadia's intimidation tactics too strong for the weak and frail MC -"if it will ease your mind..." Nadia took up MC's arm and began to guide MC to her chambers "I will enlist some help." -MC was personally tucked into Nadia's bed, very little protest. -with a kiss to on the forehead MC finally felt relaxed enough to close their eyes

-”If you need help, please come and get me” MC asked

-”That won’t be necessary, love” Nadia responded

-"...don’t stress yourself out either, or you will get sick too" -Nadia felt so warm hearing MC give their blessing. -Summons both Julian and Asra to the palace, between them and Portia they knock out all the preparations needed -Julian would check MC every now and then, Asra also would share tea with them while the day drew long -Not surprisingly MC's most frequent visitor was Nadia. -Nadia would come up for a moments rest, to ask for a small opinions, or just to see them. -Nadia would make MC her first priority, no matter what -eventually the time would come for the dinner, Nadia cleaned herself up and MC wished her luck. -hours later, late into the night Nadia could not go back to her chambers fast enough...MC had not made a request from Nadia or Portia the entire time so she was a bit worried. -Came into the room to see MC had been asleep, tea cup half finished next to them -Nadia spent a moment just watching MC sleep peacefully before finally hopping into bed with them, Nadia got to be the big spoon -MC's fever was bad, but they were so warm...Nadia fell right to sleep after -the next day was defiantly a 'sick day' for the both of them *wink*

<Muriel> -oh boy [this just seems mean 😢] -[i go easy i swear] -Being that living life off the land can be hard at times...MC would often go too hard. -Muriel would see it, but he knew MC was very independent. A quality he admired -until today -he was careful not to wake MC because they had been working so hard -goes out to get fire wood, comes back to see MC woke up -"sorry...did i wake you?" He asked as he went to set the fire wood down...no response -he looked up to MC to see she was still rubbing the sleep out of their eyes but...more than usual. -"no...i just...my eyes feel like they are burning..." continues to itch. -bless this poor boy, scares easily when it comes to things like this -gets up and goes to MC, takes their hands away from their eyes -"let me see..." he already sees their eyes are puffy and swollen. -mc tried to open them...struggle. -a slow panic sets in -Muriel guides MC to a stream to wash their face -when finally able to open their eyes, he panics more -beet red, swollen eyes look back at him -"...whats wrong?" Goes to scratch more -pANIC -quickly picks MC up and runs to the magic shop -shows Asra....PANIC -calls Julian...MC is so confused -"thankfully, not the plague...looks like a standard case of pink eye to me...MC, do you know of anything that might have caused this??" -MC had to think...wait.... -"oh...the other day i did manage to get some dirt caught in my eye...it was after we cleaned out the birds nest from the chimney" -"been itching this whole time?" -".....yes?" -Muriel didn't know who to be upset with more -himself because he let MC get sick -or MC for not being more careful -Asra made some medicine and cream for treatment -Julian put on a thick blindfold to stop itching -at first Muriel didnt want to take MC back, might make it worse -MC insisted on going -ever see a large man hold a small magicians hand to guide them home? -eventually they get back home -Muriel forces MC to stay put in bed until they were better -"MC, you have to stop itching or you won’t heal" -"but it itchessss" -Inanna would lay by MC's side, even if Muriel got upset with her -MC can’t scratch her eyes if they are petting a puppy! -muriel would have to do all of the chores...he didnt mind tho -Made her meals, gave them water when they asked -at nap time, Muriel would catch himself watching MC sleep -if MC caught him, then he turned blush red, stumbled on his words and then go outside... -"MC....I.....think I left the river running, be right back"

-MC could not see so they were just confused -secretly liked taking care of MC for once, would never admit it -eventually MC would get better -Muriel would be more protective of the chores MC does [or even allowed to]

°Portia° -Portia would have known about most things about MC -late night conversations lead to a conversation about allergies -MC had mentioned that they were allergic to some things but never told Portia exactly what -from then on Portia would pay closer attention to what was around MC -she would have never thought about bug bites -Portia was working in the palace, MC was in the garden at the cottage -Portia came back at her usual time after serving Nadia dinner -"I’m home!" Portia announced in her usual bouncy personality -MC was already in the bed, covered from head to toe -"MC? Are you cold?" Portia came up and sat beside them in bed. -"n-not exactly" they managed to pipe out, shivering a bit -Portia was a bit confused, worry edging its way in -"i don’t want to alarm you...but i think I’m having an allergic reaction.." MC came out of their covers to look at Portia -MC was sweating, eyes a bit puffy -Portia's worst fear, she had not prepared anything for this situation -"WHAT?? How? When?" Portia began to nervously pace in front of the bed. -MC laughed a bit weakly, could not help but find her panic cute -this snapped Portia out of her panic, a quick self face slap -"What do i need to do?" She asked going back to MC, determination in her eyes -"back at my shop...i have some medicine...its on the top shelf above the stove. It’s a purple vial..." -"You want me to get it? And leave you alone?" Portia did not like this plan. Why would MC leave such an important thing at home???? -"Im not alone" MC said, just then Faust popped up from her hiding place by MC's neck -"Bite" Faust popped up. -Portia didn't understand, sudden snake? was that Asra's pet or something? -Portia was not sure about this, but no time to hesitate -She ran as fast as she could to the shop. -it was unlocked?? -Thank GOD Asra was home -"MC....reaction....swelling...." she managed to communicate just enough for Asra to react. -grabbed the medicine and they both ran out the door. -by the time they got to the cottage MC was sitting upright against the bed railing -Portia quickly went to check if they were still awake while Asra went to work trying to find the source, peeling blankets back -MC was a bit surprised by the sudden coldness, but looked up with a grin at Portia, then Asra

-”Hello master...” MC sheepishly greeted Asra

-”Hello MC” Asra chuckled a bit as he worked

-”It happened again...”

-”I see that...” -"Here MC, drink this" she slowly fed the medicine to MC. -medicine worked its magic quickly, knocking MC out cold -"there it is..." Asra spoke up, showing a spot on MC's leg -Portia was a bit applauded at the swollen discolored patch on their skin -"what is that???" Portia asked surprised, yet fascinated -Asra took his hands and placed them over the area -"looks like a spider bite" he spoke as magic flowed thru his hands -"MC got bit by a spider???" Scared, she asked "is...is it poison???" -Asra shook his head calmly -"i thought they would have told you, they are allergic to some bug bites...spiders are the worst for them." -Portia was shook -She knew bugs could be poisonous but...just bites alone can take MC out??? -Asra took his hands away, bite area mostly healed, just rash-like -Asra then tucked MC into bed, gave Portia a care plan, then left promising to come back -Portia fell asleep just watching after MC sleeping -Next morning, Portia woke up for work, asked Nadia for the day off -Nadia agreed, understandingly -spent most of the day poking fun at MC -MC would be sore all over, waking up with the worst headache -Portia, as instructed, would have some pain medicine on hand -"Who would have thought that your one weakness was a spider!" she joked as she made breakfast -MC laughed, then moaned out of pain -"Sorry hun" Portia chuckled -MC would not want to eat anything, but Portia would still make sure they were hydrated -Asra would visit to drop off some potions and herbs -Asra also preformed an spell that repelled bugs from ever coming into the garden, same spell he used at the shop [without telling of course]

-Portia would just sit in the bed next to MC, keeping their spirit up with talking and playing games

-MC would let Portia read to them, soothed them into naps  -Once MC had made a full recovery Portia would limit their time in the garden....forever

~Lucio~ -[now if you think for one moment that i trust this SOB, not knowing his whole 'route' then you have another thing coming] -[there is not enough evidence to prove to me that he had redeeming qualities, HOWEVER does not mean he is incapable of caring for something other than himself]

-[is he worth redemption? who knows?] -[so....here is a loose def of a head cannon] -in a perfect world, no one around Lucio would ever get sick again -although MC broke that plague curse a while back...does not make them immune to sickness -in that same perfect world, Lucio would know how to take care of something as simple as a cold -this was not that perfect world -Since it is Lucio, he would not notice the signs, only notice MC's absence from his side -"Where is MC?" He would ask[order] a servant. -Lucio didn't get results he wanted, Melchio would trot their way to the breakfast table, nudge Lucio's leg -he would give a loving pet, but where is Mercedes? - Melchio, as if knowing, would get Lucio to follow him up to MC's bedroom -Mercedes would be sitting at the closed door, waiting for MC. -"Has MC not gotten up yet?" Lucio grumpily opened the door, without knocking. -sure enough MC would be sitting on the edge of the bed, head in hands but jumped up when Lucio busted in -"MC? You are late." Lucio announced as the dogs walked in and formed a protective circle around MC -"oh...sorry. i didn't realize the time..." MC weakly spoke, petting the dogs as they stood up -"I would hope that today of all days you would not be late." He spoke up, getting closer -see, today was the start of Masquerade! Lucio, Nadia and MC worked hard to plan this for months. [Imma just make up that Nadia is Countess and she made MC and Lucio nobles *shrug* more a reward for MC and Punishment for Lucio?] -"Right, i know" MC would smile through the fatigue and start for the closet, only to wobble a bit. -Lucio would go to catch/support MC, "What is the matter with you?" He asked in a less grumpy, more concerned tone [really only MC could tell that] -MC was warm....warmer than usual.  Like, hot...but in the wrong way. -"Oh...i uh...didn't sleep that well...i think i am coming down with something..." MC didn't want to admit it, but no way for Lucio to know unless outright telling him [a touch dense when it comes to others] -"something....like?" It didn't really occur to Lucio until a thunderous cough came out of MC’s mouth. -it finally clicks, Lucio panics not really knowing how to take care of a sickness [cant blame him, everyone who ever got sick around him he killed or died] -"Lucio? Are you okay?" MC would ask as he pretty much picks them up, throws them on the bed and runs out the door. -NADIA TO THE RESCUE -Normally a plead for help from Lucio would fall on deaf ears...but MC was sick so she let it go. -Nadia would personally visit MC and make sure they got tucked into bed, reassuring MC that they could handle the Masquerade without them -Lucio would follow like a lost puppy -whichever servant was tasked with taking care of MC [hopefully but unluckily its Portia], Lucio would follow them and at least make sure MC was treated like the Angel on Earth they were -"Is that lentil soup?? MC's favorite it tomato bisk!" -"What are you doing? How does that help?" Lucio would come across as annoying or even pressing but he was honestly trying to learn. -at some point he would be the one taking up the food/snack/medicine/drink because the servant would let him, to """ease Lucio's mind""" -He would visit....at least every 5 mins, on another planet of feelings with each visit -Visit 34 "How could you get sick on MY birthday party week??" -Visit 77 "MC listen, as long as you are not dying...then its fine" -Visit 106 "MC YOU WORKED TOO HARD NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID" -Visit 126 "MC...is....is this my fault?" -MC can't get enough sleep, but is too kind to tell Lucio to stop -THAT IS what Arsa and Julian are for! -They would not have been there if MC was not sick...otherwise avoiding Lucio like....the plague XD [okay, ill go home] -"Lucio, MC needs rest or they wont get any better" Julian face palmed as he scolded Lucio, on his way for the 178th visit -"Don't you literally have ANYTHING better to do than bother MC?" Asra spat when Lucio had his hand on the doorknob.

-To avoid any more nagging he stopped...going into the room at least -Finally it was time to start the Masquerade, so Lucio decided it was time to forget about MC and get ready to party! -Except...he could not forget about MC -From the life of the party->Quiet party goer-> sad puppy -"I wanted MC to see this...." -would eventually just wait outside MC's door most of the night -On the bright side everyone else had a blast without Lucio HAHA -Eventually just sneaks into MC’s room and stayed so no one would catch him. -"I know....I will be quiet..." he whispered to the dogs as he quietly went to the corner and sat in the armchair. -the most quiet anyone has ever seen him -Eventually MC would start to feel better...he would ask if they would go to at least 1 party room before the Masquerade was over -Hand in Hand, Lucio would parade a very tired looking MC to his favorite room -#caught by Asra, MC is taken back to room for more rest -Sad Lucio is sad -After being grounded by Asra and being forced to rest, MC would be feeling better in no time -Lucio would become more protective about what MC when it came to parties because he does not want MC to miss any more of his parties

[tozierpunks]

OMG OLEASE DO A PART 2 OF THE ROOMATE REDDIE IM DYING ITS SO GOOOOOD

Me @ me: You’re gonna drop the ball, don’t do it.Me @ this ask: I’m here to drop balls and eat spaghetti. And I’m all out of spaghetti.Part [1] Here!

From outside the apartment, Eddie could hear the bass of Richie’s speakers. Rolling his eyes, he tucked the mail into his bag and fumbled with his keys. A wave of warm air hit his face, carrying the scent of onions. In the kitchen, Richie held two meat mallets, smashing a poor chicken breast to the beat of Rock Me Amadeus. He danced around the narrow island counter, bobbing his head to the tune.

Eddie set the mail on the coffee table, hanging his messenger bag with the coats. The song faded into the next, and one of Eddie’s favorites began playing. Richie typically kept it on their shared 80′s playlist when he knew Eddie would be home. Glancing at Richie, he couldn’t help but laugh, watching him pretend to play a keyboard. He held the mallet to his face, dramatically singing.

Regardless of whether or not he would play along, Richie pantomimed swinging a lasso, throwing it around Eddie. He playfully tugged the imaginary rope, and Eddie couldn’t fight the smile. Hopping closer, he started mouthing the words with his roommate.

Using the term “roommate” felt strange, as accurate as it was. They’d grown up together; Eddie couldn’t remember a day without Richie. He’d known him as long as he’d known Bill, and they might as well have been born together. When they left their hometown, all of them electing to attend the University of Maine, the original plan was to rent a house together. It worked for six months, but house renting turned out to be expensive (and Stan was quick to say “I told you so”). Apartments weren’t much cheaper, but splitting the cost helped significantly.

The difficult part came when choosing the living arrangements. One complex didn’t rub Bev the right way. Another complex didn’t allow dogs, so Mike’s adorable Mr. Chips was an immediate disqualification. Nearly every complex failed to meet their room needs. So the breaking of the group came. They agreed on a complex, and drew straws. Or, well... the lads did. Bev chose to move in with girls from her class: Kay McCall and Audra Phillips. Ben, Bill, Stan and Mike shared a three bedroom across the hall from the girls. This left Richie and Eddie, and they were fortunate enough to snag a two bedroom in the building across the parking lot.

So for the past year and a half, Eddie lived with his lifelong best friend. A majority of the time, it was easy.

Then there were times like last month. Technically, one time. Eddie was trapped in Richie’s closet, Richie masturbated, and Eddie put the situation to bed without even thinking of touching it again.

Phil Collins’ “You Can’t Hurry Love” started playing, and Eddie snapped out of his thoughts, laughing upon realizing Richie was doing the Carlton dance.

“Richard, don’t!” he cackled, shaking his head. Richie pouted, grabbing his phone.

“What? You don’t like the song?” And without waiting for an answer, he skipped to the next. Tears For Fears. Everybody Wants to Rule the World. Possibly Eddie’s favorite song in the whole world. “C’mon, I know you love this one, Eds. Dance with me, why don’t ya?” One hand on his stomach, the other up in the air, holding an invisible partners’ hand, he two stepped his way closer.

“What have I told you about calling me Eds?” Eddie asked tiredly, although the small smile on his face suggested he wasn’t tired at all.

“It turns you on, right?”“Richard.”“Alright, alright, I’m sorry. You’re not too mad to dance, are you? It’s your favorite! Plus, I’ve been working all day on this chicken- I know you love spicy stuff, so I went out and bought that Cajun seasoning, I sauteed some onions. Eddie, I went all out on this,” he said. Eddie’s mouth twisted, and he peered over Richie’s shoulder to see the state of their kitchen.

Miraculously, the mess appeared to be at a minimum.

“Oh, fine, you got me,” he answered.

“Just not to this song!”“Wha- Richie, I love this song!”“Nope, too slow!”

Changing to the next in queue, he knew exactly what he was doing, because Eddie grinned and bobbed his head. Love Shack was a timeless classic, and arguably Richie’s favorite song from the 80′s. Incredible, considering Queen released the albums they did then. Of course, everyone’s favorite song was Bohemian Rhapsody; that went without saying, the rest of the music in the world was simply competing for second place.

The pair danced, not stopping until the timer buzzed almost a dozen songs later.

As Richie took out the chicken and checked it, Eddie looked through their mail. Usually it was only credit card offers which neither of them took; they already had one each, a financial move Ben advised them to make for credit building. Richie didn’t pay much attention as Eddie opened and trashed the letters.

“What’s the occasion, Rich?” he asked, pausing only to look at how Richie carefully plated the food.

“You really don’t know?”“I asked, didn’t I?”

Richie hesitated. If Eddie didn’t remember, he didn’t want to say. He continued to throw out the junk mail, and Richie racked his brains for a lie. Of course, before he could even attempt, Eddie froze.

In his hands - the last letter of the bunch - was a bright pink envelope, the size of a greeting card. Wordlessly, he opened it, pulling out the card and reading it. He got one yearly since he’d started school. Since he left Sonia. Richie waited for him to speak; he didn’t want to break the silence if it was what Eddie needed.

“That’s right,” he finally sighed. “Dad died today.”

Eddie didn’t think much of Frank Kaspbrak. His passing came when Eddie was a baby, but it affected the rest of his life. Sonia was a wreck without her husband. Richie knew how guilty Eddie felt cutting off contact. She wasn’t necessarily a bad mother; she liked his friends and always welcomed them in as they grew up. She accepted Eddie’s sexuality, and barked off anyone at their church who tried to say otherwise.

But Eddie’s worst - and unfortunately, most vivid - memories were of her sobbing in her room. She drank from time to time, scaring Eddie to death when she would drive to get more alcohol. Richie remembered times where he would steal booze from his parents to bring to Eddie, just so he wouldn’t panic over Sonia. Leaving her without a word on the hardest day of the year for her...

Richie thought a nice dinner might keep his mind occupied. He bought Love Simon on their Amazon account, and as a backup, he even bought Mean Girls. Eddie once said he didn’t care for the movie, but if he needed a pick-me-up, all he had to do was watch Lizzy Caplan shout, “Your mom’s chest hair!” and he would erupt in uncontrollable giggles.

“Aw Eds- Eddie, don’t cry,” Richie said softly, forgetting the dinner and approaching Eddie with his arms outstretched. “You’ve got your reasons for not calling. She’s an adult, and so are you, man.”

Eddie’s body trembled as he tried to hold back the tears. Yes, he was hurt over his mother. Yes, he wished he knew Frank enough to truly be sad over his death.

But no, that wasn’t why he cried.

Richie made a dinner for him. For an emotional day he didn’t even remember, but Richie did.

Pulling away, he wiped his eyes. Eddie cleared his throat, looking up at Richie. For a split second, Eddie thought he could kiss him. His heart skipped a beat and he almost felt himself leaning in closer.

But he didn’t.

“I’m fine, Rich, I just- it all hit me, you know?” he said, sniffling. Richie stared at him, uncertain. “I promise I’m okay- honestly, the smell of the chicken is making me hungry.” He laughed, and it sounded genuine. Richie seemed to believe it, handing his plate over.

“Well eat up, Eds. I have a whole night planned!” he exclaimed, turning on the TV. Eddie sat beside him, a tiny smile on his face.

He really was in love with his best friend, and Richie had no clue.

[easilyaddictedin123]

Clashing of Wilds and Blood

Alright people this thing is long. LONG. And will you look at that? Looks like its gonna have multiple chapters oh boy.

PT2 : https://easilyaddictedin123.tumblr.com/post/162902440496/clashing-of-wilds-and-blood

```

You had come to visit your half-sister, a rare and delightful privilege to escape under the thumb of the King Aelle, they day had been simple and calm. Judith was settled into the corner as you reached over to put Alfred in check upon the board. The ‘clack’ echoed in the room of stone as you settled back in the chair with a smirk, Judith chuckled slightly at the sight. You were younger than your half-sister, a passing baroness that had taken the king to her bed was your lineage and Aelle had been forced to keep you on condition of her death, a new pawn to use in his political gain, marriage wasn’t suitable for your bastard birth at least for the moment. There wasn’t a doubt in your mind that he would find some use for you and your wild nature. Refusing this and that, sneaking away to do as you pleased.

Here though? Here was free, as free as you could muster at least. Ecbert cared little if you roamed the stone halls with feet bare, nor worried of hands that slipped knives and coin from various hips of the guards, the sharp tongue trading insults and wit. You could toss h/c locks over your shoulder loose without care, walk in the streets with the sun beating off your skin. It was amusing and in ways perhaps he encouraged it still thinking of you as Judith’s wide e/c eyed curious baby sister. Alfred’s groan brought you from musings as he slumped into the seat even further.

“You cheated, i don’t know how but you cheated.” Judith laughed as you began to reset the board.

“Pay more attention and you might win this time.” You chuckle was stopped short by yells and the distinct clang of metal, the soldiers, “Judith, Alfred, stay here.”

“Why do you get to g-” Judith silenced her son as you slipped from the room to look into the courtyard, Aethelwulf seemed to be parading around a man in worn clothes almost as if he’d been the one to pry the nails from Jesus’ hands and free him.

The man’s beard was wiry and long, no hair graced his head showing tattoos, scars and age settled into the deep lines of his face. He looked unarmed, and tired. Behind them thrown over a horse was someone. Short black hair, broad shoulders, narrow hips and tossed unceremoniously over a horse. He was crippled. You couldn’t hear what was being shouted at the guards but he was roughly dragged down and off through the mud with the man.

Aethelwulf looked up to see you bluntly observing the scene. His scowl deepened at your condescending smile, he’d never like you. Mostly because of your complete disregard for anything he said to you and refusal to obey any rules he attempted to press. You raised a hand in a menial wave just to incite his anger further in attempt to sour any triumph he might have felt. He stormed off after them while you slipped back into the room where an eager Alfred and questioning Judith.

“Aethelwulf is pompous as always but he’s parading around two men like they’re jewels.” Alfred chuckled at the tone of your voice but Judith frowned, “Oh, mind your face sister dearest, I’ll find out who they are for you.”

“You mean you’ll find out who they are for you.” The woman teased gently although you could tell she was just as curious and wary of who her husband had brought into the dungeons of the castle.

“I’ll go too!” Alfred offered excitedly watching in growing suspense as you crossed your arms and jutted your hip to the side, “ I can be quiet, even you said I’m getting better! Besides I’m the one that King Ecbert likes more. I can get away with it!”

“Alfred, that’s why y/n is going first.” -he looked distraught at his mother- “You may be your grandfather’s favorite but that means he’s all the more protective of you.”

“She’s a point.” You smiled gently, ruffling his brown hair, “Besides I’ll bring you to see who they are next, I promise. I wouldn’t want soot and dirt to soil those cheeks of yours by pressing against a dingy wall now would I?”

He pushed your hands off his face with a grin, “Fine. But you promised.”

You pulled your hair back and straightened out the dress, tugging on the belt to make it flair more dramatically to your curves and stood straight. In the case that you couldn’t ‘persuade’ the guards with sultry looks and soft words you held a small coin purse with silver in it as you made your way down the halls. Servants moved by, some nodding in a greeting, others with curious looks as to why you were heading to the kitchens but to be seen going there would be a better story as to why you were absent from Judith.

“And where do you think you’re off to, m’lady?” The voice caused you to freeze, it was on old one from childhood that had scolded and schooled you.

“Damn you old hag.” -you muttered under your breath before turning- “Off to the kitchens, Maude.”

“It’s a sin to lie, Y/N, besides we both know better.” The woman was old, you could swear that she was around when God was a little boy, with long grey hair ,that had remnants of black from her youth, pulled up tightly into a bun and judgmental green eyes that could stare into the soul of Satan and terrify him.

Maude had been one of the ‘possessions’ your mother had left you as an infant on King Aelle’s door, the woman was irritable, deceptively strong, sarcastic, and was never going to die. Not that you prayed for that, God’s sake no, but there were days when you wished she’d just look the other way. The crone seemed to always be at least three steps ahead of whatever you were thinking or what you were going to do, if you actually accomplished something successfully and smoothly it was because she hadn’t caught you. Or pretended to not have caught you. . .

“I’m not lying, I am going to the kitchen.” She quirked up an eyebrow while once full lips tugged ever so slightly downwards.

“That so is it?” You mentally shuddered, she knew and she would open her mouth and you’d be sent back to Judith with your proverbial tail tucked between your legs, “I suggest you get some of the fresh bread. It’s still warm and other mouths might enjoy it, eh?”

A smile spread across your lips as she tilted a head, perhaps she was curious about the men too or maybe she was in a good mood? Whatever the reason you weren’t going to question it as you slipped away into the kitchens, the best place to learn what was going on. Everyone gossiped in the kitchens and no one minded you as King Aelle’s bastard child was still a bastard after all it was the perfect place to grab up something for Aethelwulf’s dubbed prisoners and see if anyone knew who they were.

The smell of sweets, pies, roast, vegetables and bread wafted through the air making the sense of a home flood your being. It was alive with chatter, firewood crackling, dished banging, and tools cutting or preparing for tonight’s dinner. The gossip was far and wide from someone being pregnant, another losing their cow, a dragon spotted flying east and witchcraft being practiced with chicken blood. Useless.

“Lily!” The woman turned at your voice and smiled, already cutting off a hunk of warm bread for you to snatch up, “I’ve a question to ask.”, of course asking with a full mouth was rude but the bread was heated and had a hint of cinnamon to it.

“Oh I’m sure, tryin to rat out who’s who today m’lady?” Of course Lily knew, she knew everything, “They say the Lordships caught a King of the North.”

“You mean The King of the North, Ragnar Lothbrok?” You swallowed the bread harshly as she watch your e/c eyes widen in excitement, “Where is he at, who is the cripple, do you think I can get there?”

“Aye, they’re holding ‘im in the bottom dungeon. Don know ‘bout the cripple though, don’t think Lor’ Aethelwulf is all too worried wit him. Somethin not right bout ‘im, I think, he looked ready to kill when they brough ‘im in he did. Some bread for your huntin today?” She had already taken another large piece -too large for just you- in a cloth along with a closed cup of water.

You leaned over the table kissing one red cheek and dashed out with your prize. It would be easy to get into the dungeon this way so you weren’t seen by too many people, slip out of the back door of the kitchen, pick up your dress so the mud didn’t dirty it too much from walking behind the stabled, throw a rock to frighten the horses. One of the guards walked away from the door and you slipped out, making your hips sway more than they did you caught the remaining man’s attention. A lecherous thing with eyes locked on the way you moved.

“I’ve come to see what the fuss is all about.” Being blunt with him didn’t worry you.

“Dungeons no’ place for a lady.” He breathed out watching you bite your lower lip, eyes looking up from beneath long lashes.

“Who claimed I was a lady?” You kept one hand out of his sight that held your ‘treats’ the other tugged on the belt of his armor pulling him to you, “Even women of the night wear dresses good sir, would you like to find out which one I am?”

The guard swallowed uncertainly as you drew him closer, a smirk rising on your lips. One thing you’d learned from women of all kinds, men bow to them even if they didn’t want to admit it. The guard was a pawn in your chess game, he was yours to use. And you were going to. You had to roll up onto the tips of your toes to keep his seemingly hazed eyes on you instead of the reality of his situation for the moment.

He leaned down enough for your lips to almost brushed his, “Of course you’d have to let me in, and be brave enough to go against King Ecbert.” He wasn’t listening instead a gloved hand squeezed your hip the metal gauntlet gripping harsh enough to make you wince, “After all, you did just leave marks on his beloved and defenseless daughter in law.”

That brought the guard back with a jerk and hiss, “I did no such thing.”

“That so? Shall I lift up my dress in a few hours to show how hard those gauntlets can be? To add salt to injury shall I run crying to my father-in-law at how you were talking nonsense? A noble woman like myself being trusted over a simple guard. Who would win his word, do you think?” You smiled, pleased with your work and how simple it had been, “Of course this could be looked over if you let me in.”

“Witch.” He spat out but opened the door nonetheless while you had to stop yourself from practically skipping in.

Murky water pooled on some of  the stone steps making your feet echo occasionally in sloshes, you dare not touch the walls to steady yourself knowing that the green you could see in the low light dancing off the walls was not moss.

The deeper and deeper you’d trekked the colder it became, unwelcomed not that most dungeons were but the air was dank with death as some of the prisoners died in their cells of that you had no doubt. The maids told stories about the desperate calls of the tortured rising in the air with their haunting wails. You had to take a breath to steel yourself, you had wanted this and you were going to get it. Coming off the last step of the spiraling stone you saw him.

The cage was rusted and dangled a few feet above ground, the man was beaten, bloody, and nothing like you imagined the legend yet exactly what you imagined all at once. Ragnar Lothbrok was a man, you knew that, he would bleed if he was cut. Yet; there always was something about him that was ethereal, he was the pride of the Northmen, their banner, their calling horn, their legend. Now he was caged like an animal and you felt a surge of pity gnawing at your chest.

“I know you’re there.” His voice was rugged, cracked as if he hadn’t had anything to drink yet.

“I know, I wanted to see the great King Ragnar Lothbrok.” You stepped closer for him to see all of you.

He snorted and gestured to himself, “Everything you expected?”

“Yes and no.” He tilted his head at the answer while you tore off a piece of bread and took out some water, “I imagined a grand army storming over the hills but it’s just you. Even then you must be a great warrior for Aethelwulf to cage you like this.”

“You’ve a different way of looking at things.” He took the food and water you offered, calloused hands not taking advantage of you though he had a small inkling.

“It’s found me in trouble more than once.” He chuckled at that, “Who was the cripple they brought with you?”

Ragnar looked at you, instead of insulting you’d been oddly kind and looked transfixed almost by his existence, “My son.”

“I thought Northmen didn’t suffer crippled babes.” You offered more drink to the man, he could tell you weren’t a servant, you were too well dressed, too clean, you hands hadn’t known a day of hard work.

“Sometimes an exception is made, lady…”

“Y/N, just Y/N no need for the lady bit.” You smiled at the warm chuckle and light in his previously dimmed eyes.

They were blue like a clear sky, the one that wasn’t swollen at least, and he seemed kind in a way. He knew you were a lady of standing and hadn’t made move to hurt you, there was something in that simple action. You spoke plainly to each other with questions pouring from your mouth in abundance. Ragnar answered them, you reminded him of a young child thirsty for any part of the world you could get. Perhaps you were, trapped behind walls of stone and rules never knowing the freedom that he could see bursting at your every word.

He asked questions too, about the castle, about Ecbert and Aethelwulf, even about yourself and small adventures that you were shy to admit. He laughed a bit at the antics you had created, the wild chaos that you seemed to revel in. The small freedoms. You might have made a good Viking if given the chance, instead of being wasted away by Aelle. The restrictions like harsh waves beating against a defiant rock, soon you’d be chipped away enough to know nothing but what the King demanded of you.

“I’d ask a favor, Y/N.” You nodded, not noticing between the two you’d finished the sweet bread and water, “I would like to know of my son.”

“I’ll try, I’m not sure where they’re keeping him but it can’t be that hard. Besides it’s the least I can do for you letting me talk and question you.” Ragnar debated on telling you that he enjoyed the curiosity that he’d seen in Athelstan that was reflected in yourself.

“It would be more than enough thanks.” You nodded and jumped at the sound of armor making it’s way down the stairs, you picked up the cup and cloth to hide behind a device used to hold the prisoners still and refused to make a sound at the scent of blood wafting over you.

The voice was sharp, Aethelwulf no doubt coming to torture the King more than he needed to. With him and the soldiers backs turned you crept back up the stairs and out, the guard you’d entrapped scowled at your passing. You took the way back into the castle and nearly running in excitement to Judith’s room. Stepping in interrupted your half-sister’s stitching and Alfred’s chess game with himself, your face was beaming and you practically glowed with excitement to answer all their questions and regale them with what you’d learn and seen. Alfred seemed just as transfixed as you had been learning about their gods. You’d learn of how women were equal, all fought, all worked, all loved, their goddesses were strong and free. The simple way he’d said it had called to something pure and wanting, they were free. Their women were allowed to be wild and reckless. They were allowed to fight or farm and even rule.

“But what about the cripple?” You bit your lip looking at Judith.

“I’m not sure, I don’t even know where they would have taken him. No one in the kitchen’s knows and the guards won’t tell me if I asked.” You began to tap your nails against your hip in thought.

“I could.” Alfred spoke up with a mischievous grin, “I could say I saw them and wanted to know of the cripple. They’d tell me because they have to.”

A smirk broke your face while you turned to him, “You little hellion, alright, if we can find out then we both go to see him.”

The look Judith gave you blandly stated that he would but you would leave it up to her to tell him. Alfred excitedly ran out to question despite your ‘slight’ protest about him being so blunt.

“You are a horrible influence, you know that Y/N?” Judith sighed as you grinned at her.

“Oh come on, he needs to live just a little. Being under Aethelwulf’s thumb and being a bastard atop of that. He needs my bad influence to blame his faults on. I’d rather take the hit than him.” Your voice was quiet as she placed a hand on your shoulder, being brazen and true to the storm in your blood had given you bruises before.

Never scars. No. They’d leave too much of a mark but bruises you could bare, bruises to keep the ones you love from never having to be harmed. It was a fair price in your eyes. The door pushed open with a smiling Alfred who bounded over, much like you imagined a puppy would, looking pleased with himself.

“They’re not keeping him in one of the lower dungeons. He’s in a cell in the east wing instead.” You pinched his cheek at the answer. “I’m make a bad apple out of you yet, Alfred just you wait and see.” You smiled and went to walk out as Alfred was stopped by Judith.

You didn’t stay for the argument to come instead walked boldly to the east wing cells. They weren’t heavily guarded in the first place atop him being incapable of walking would leave him without many. The east wing cells were connected with the oubliettes below but by a winding maze of columns and halls that you had no desire nor time to navigate.

“Princess Y/N.” The tone was questioning as you walked to the door Ragnar’s son was obviously being kept in.

“I’m just passing by, making friends with the guards as always.” You pulled out two silver for each of them, “I hear the inn is having a special on spiced mead.”

“Talked to you as you were passing by to the kitchens, we did, m’lady.” They opened the door and you smirked.

The cell was still a cell. The rank smell didn’t drift up through the stone floors, but little light shone from the window. The room was empty of any comfort, a board for a bed and on the bed a man. His eyes was a startling blue, unlike his father’s these shone brightly, filled with wariness and vibrant fury at you visage.

“Do you speak my language?” He sat up, shifting his legs that were bound together tilting his head, perhaps debating something but not having spoken, “Is that a no? Shame I was going to tell you about your father.”

“What about him.” His voice was thick with accent talking before scowling with the realization of the trap you’d sat upon your grin and how he’d walked into it.

“Ah, so you do.” He snarled and even without his legs on use you couldn’t help the shiver running down your spine, not sure if it was a good or bad sensation, “He’s alright, as much as he can be. Aethelwulf is a sick man but your father’s strong.”

“What would you know of it?” The question was spat out like poison from a wound.

“I know quite a bit, King Ragnar was telling me about your gods. They’re...fascinating.” He raised an eyebrow at that, “It’s just...they give so many rights, so much freedom to do as you please. It’s strange.”

“Your God is strange.” You sighed at that not to sure that you could talk to him like his father, “Tell me of your God and I’ll show tell you our better ones.”

You grinned, it seemed a fair trade.

~~~

Ivar had been dragged away from his father, mud caked up on his legs, roughly tossed inside the room. He wanted to scream, to kill, to fight, but then the Christians would be threatened and he’d have no idea what would happen next. He trusted his father, he needed to wait. The room was bare of anything, save for a plank to be used as a bed and a small table with a chair that looked ready and able to cave in on itself.

He was antsy as he growled crawling over to the slab that would be his bed. He could do nothing. There was sunlight so he knew it was still day, but there was no way to ease the chaos bounding through his mind. The rampant berating over how he should be better, how he cursed his legs, how he hated this. He wasn’t sure how long he imprisoned himself in his own mind until the door creaked open.

Ivar was prepared for guards, torture, but not for what walked in. She was his age, in a red form fitting dress, her hair was tangled loose around her, lips upturned in a grin at the sight of him. An alluring woman, he didn’t like her already.

“Do you speak my language?” He wanted to scoff, despite the curiosity of the voice and who it was coming from, despite it he played the idiot, “Is that a no? Shame I was going to tell you about your father.

He’d spoken before actually thinking about it, questioning and watching a satisfied look cross her face, she had laid a plain trap and like a child he stumbled into it. He disliked her with an extreme tidal wave of emotion. She told him of his father’s fairing and looked even hopeful at the mention of his Gods. She was infuriating and untrustworthy and he swore a she had a bewitchment in those e/c eyes. Like hooks to the soul to drag people to their deaths in the depths.

They spoke of small things, simple. She was in amazement of how his people worked. How they all carried themselves, how they all were tied to each other. It was a harsh knock at the door that sent her jumping from the floor she’d settled herself on in front of him.

“That’s my cue.” She sighed brushing off her dress, “A warning, i’m going to come back tomorrow.”

Ivar waved her off with the same disinterest he did a slave, she still smiled, “My name’s Y/N, we’re bound to talk a lot so you should know.”

He mused over the idea of not telling her, letting her guess and come back with a new idea for who he was. She was imaginative and quick witted, anything she’d make would most likely insult him but there was amusement in that thought.

“I might tell you my name, but not today.” Y/N looked furious for a moment then puzzled and at last determined.

“I’ll give you one then. Be warned.” and she slipped out of the room that seemed somehow more cold than it had been.

Ivar scowled at the door, he did not enjoy her company, he did not want to see the way she would light up at a new discovery, he did not want to be puzzled at how a woman like her hadn’t given his useless legs any regard. He did not want to see her again. A small voice from somewhere in his mind silenced the storming and thunderous rage for a moment with a simple word.

‘Liar.’

[musherum]

long post -/ cael talks about her new asthma medication and recent Realizations

honestly? im noticing a lot of improvement since i started the new medication. its a corticosteroid, which is a kind of drug that is exclusively for treating constrictive asthma. there are two different types of asthma, see: theres inflammatory, which responds well to treatment with ventalin, the most common inhaler which provides immediate, “emergency” relief when you have an attack of inflammatory asthma, and theres constrictive, which doesnt respond to it at all. this was the “missing link” i was looking for. i didnt know about the medication requirements for that form of asthma until a few days ago when i had a major attack of constrictive asthma.

it.... took me a lot to finally say to my mum “i need to go to a doctor. i am having a lot of trouble breathing, and i cannot function. i know this cannot be normal.” it took even more, though, to say to her that i needed to stay home that day, and miss the GED class im taking - even though the day before was the first session. my mom has screamed at me and called me a failure and an idiot before, when she caught me skipping school because of depression and fatigue. that was a very very big step for me, facing my fear of my mom yelling at me again. but i could not focus on anything, not with how laboured my breathing was. it was the frustration of not being able to sleep that finally pushed me over the edge - while i was up all night with my then untreated and untreatable asthma attack, i 

i told her my symptoms, and then explained to her my, uh, “theory” that i had a form of asthma that didnt respond to ventalin. i got the name wrong (i mixed up constrictive and inflammatory), but otherwise, i got it entirely correct. i was so scared that she might brush me off, like what had happened before with so many people when i was younger. it had even happened with other doctors. but, fortunatley, she quickly agreed with me that it appears i need a corticosteroid as well as my ventalin to treat my symptoms.

i didnt know, before very recently, that ventalin is exclusively for inflammatory asthma, or that constrictive asthma requires cordicosteroids to treat. all along, i thought i was just being lazy, or dumb, or panicking, or lying, or a that i just didnt care. because people have said things like this to me. all throughout my life. i would say, “i cannot breathe,” and they would say, “take your emergency (ventalin) puffer.” so i would. and when i said i still didnt feel better, after i took my ventalin puffer in front of them, they stopped believing it could be asthma. older people, the ones who were supposed to take care of kids when theyre hurting, were the MOST dissmissive of my complaints. because they thought they knew everything about what asthma was. better than a kid who had it.

i thought that whatever it was, it couldnt be asthma, because so many older people told me so. no one ever told me that constrictory asthma needed a different additional medication. no one told me that i needed it. everyone said that asthma could just be treated with a ventalin inhaler, period, and that if i was so out of breath, i should just use mine. and i did. and itd didnt work. so i figured... i must not have asthma. because surely an adult knows better than i do, right?

as i grew up, my memories faded as memories do - but none so much as that of the visit to the doctors when i was first diagnosed. i can remember only a precious handful of details now; a diagram that depicted the inside of the lungs, shown with one having its air-tubes contracted tightly, and the other clogged up with mucus. i forgot about it because i was full of self loathing, i feel like, at least in part - its much harder to control your emotions when you dont have enough oxygen to normally power your brain, and the bullying i withstood, while not violent, was very frequent. i was very much not a “popular kid,” ill leave it there. a lot of people hated me. and a lot of people only pretended to like me, and i wasnt able to tell they were laughing at me. when you have shit like that on your mind constantly, and youre oxygen starved??? you tend to be a little, uh, distracted. im not surprised that i dont remember it well. but i wish i did. all i know for sure is that at the end of the day, i had a ventalin puffer, and that was it. i think there may have been a misunderstanding - when the doctor said that the cortisol (the most common, brand-name corticosteroid) is for long-term relief and the ventalin is for emergencies, my mom might have thought something along the lines of, “my child had an asthma attack, and it was an emergency. therefore ventalin is what we need, not cortisol.” but again, i dont know that for sure, and i dont want to throw anyone under the bus. it may have been that, or it may not have been. but i feel that my mom likely wouldnt remember if i asked her - taking ME to a doctors appointment wouldnt rank very high on her “important life moments” list, i suspect.

and so as i grew up, again, i had ventalin, but i very rarely remember having cortisol around, let alone taking it. uh, sorry i mean, corticosteroids. anyway, um... i think i was depressed then, even as a kid. my mom did not impress the importance of the medicine on me - she said it wasnt a that big a deal, that i only need to take it “sometimes.” and so when i ran out, i figured i didnt have to rush to tell her. and, of course, i didnt have the energy to take it every day - couldnt breath. in fact, because it required me to wash my mouth out through after taking it every morning and night, it was significantly more difficult to take the medicine that treated my constrictive asthma. and again, i did not have energy to let me do what i knew i was supposed to. and i did not know that just taking the corticosteroid regularly would help me get my energy back, because no one ever told me that my energy had... WENT anywhere. they didnt mention it being a part of the disease, so i assumed to was unrelated. i didnt know the science behind it back then, i was a little kid! and so it was that every time i had a flair-up, people kept telling me to use my ventalin inhaler, the one thats for “emergencies,” if i really felt so bad. and so.... i would. and the ventalin would not ease my constricted lungs, because its intended for inflammation. and when i tried to tell them it wasnt working, people would start telling me it wasnt asthma, and that it had to be something else - something that i was fucking up. and i believed them. i believed what they told me. because i thought that adults were supposed to be smart, and know more than kids, and that they were supposed to protect me when i said i was hurting. i thought they were supposed to help children when theyre hurting. and so all along, i believed them, cause why would they lie to me? they must know what theyre talking about. adults know more than kids, they never shut up about it, i probably thought. and... so i started to really internalize the idea that it was my fault. that i was always so tired, and forgetful, and weak, and exhausted, and out of breath, and bad at talking, and bad at concentrating, and bad in school, and bad at everything... because i was just a bad person. i even thought it was my fault that my hands wouldnt stop shaking - no matter how much i drew. my lines were always crooked and bent. so because i never knew that cortisol was the medicine i needed the most, i was never ABLE to stop my hands from shaking, no matter how hard i tried and how much i practiced drawing. so i assumed i was just a naturally shitty artist, and began to resign myself to a life of never being able to create something beautiful. no matter how much i practiced drawing.

all of it was because of my constrictive asthma - either because of too little air being able to penetrate my lungs and oxygenate my body and bloodstream, or because of the sharp, sudden and literally dizzying rips of air that i had to suck in just to breath at all.

all these years of hating myself have been perpetuated so needlessly, all because people assumed they knew better than a kid. even when the kid tells you “he” (really she, im talking about me as a kid after all) has a disease and that “he” (again, she) cant breathe and that “he” (SHE) has tried what you are suggesting and it does ever work. even if that kid is literally telling them, “it is my disease that is causing this.”

because people brushed me off, and put me down, even when i was telling them that i couldnt breath. even when i tried to explain to them that i felt like i was being slowly suffocated, by an invisble hand squeezing the air out of my chest. because thats what it DOES feel like.

...fuck, man. that was fucked up.

[rwbyremnants]

THIS CHAPTER: First time, handjob, premature ejaculation.

=Chapter 9

Bowling was a lot of fun for the whole family. Of course, that was only because the parents didn’t notice Ruby teasing Yang and trying to make her smell her bowling shoes, but that was only briefly annoying. The rest of the time was a lot of fun, competing against each other, scarfing down pizza and sodas from the snack stand and generally goofing around.

By the end of it, Yang was even starting to feel less weird around Summer. Her brain still twisted the knife by flashing the memories of her nude body at her once in awhile, but it was becoming less frequent and she could easily tolerate that much. Besides, remembering Ruby’s body helped a lot with that.

On the way home, they stopped for frozen yogurt and chatted and laughed. Everything was on the mend; their dad definitely didn’t look put out about Yang skipping fishing now that they had some quality father-daughter time in, and they were all talking as normal. Even the occasional guilty look in Summer’s eyes didn’t bring down the evening; after all, they hadn’t really done anything wrong. Just didn’t volunteer an embarrassing story that would have probably made poor Taiyang a little green around the gills. In time, they would forget all about it, other than an occasional wet dream Yang might have when her subconscious mind decided to be an asshole.

By the time they got back, Tai, Ruby and Summer were all pretty tired. After about an hour of TV, they one by one drifted off to bed, Summer the last.

“This has been… a day,” she offered to Yang with a pained smile.

“A pretty good one.” Yang made sure to grin, and without any awkwardness; she wanted her to know that it was already no big deal to her. She noticed her relax, even if only slightly. “See you tomorrow.”

The woman came over to sit on the edge of the couch where Yang was reclining. Irrationally, she felt tense and wanted to worry about what might happen, but she made herself breathe and remain calm.

“Listen… again, I’m very sorry for what hap-”

“Don’t. I got a free show, and you got a tan. That’s it. Nothing else has to be said; we’re cool.”

“Alright,” she breathed with a small smile. Her hand raised, as if she were going to pet Yang’s hair or a similar show of affection, then drew away again as she thought better of it. “Don’t stay up too late.”

“I won’t.”

Once she was alone, she flipped through channels for a while. There was nothing very interesting on, but she found some reruns of an old sitcom that she used to love, and killed some time watching that. Then she got a text message…

BLAKEYWAKEY : Hey hows it goin down there? n_n

Another grin split Yang’s face. She didn’t think her teammate would care enough to message! Rolling over onto her back, she sat up just enough to make it easier to flash her thumbs over the letters.

ME : P good hbu?

BLAKEYWAKEY : Not baaad just chillin w fam c: BLAKEYWAKEY : Is it awk w ur stepmom? Is she being a bitch or

ME : Oh… if only u knew lmaooo

So she told her. There were a lot of “WHAT”s and “R U SRS”es from Blake along the way, but she mostly just let the story unfold until it was over.

BLAKEYWAKEY : Did u see BUSH?!?!

ME : DUDE NO STOP

BLAKEYWAKEY : Omfg u saw ur stepmoms bush im kinkshaming

ME : Ughhhhhh I wanna die

BLAKEYWAKEY : Hey question BLAKEYWAKEY : I thought u didn’t like girls

ME : Well ME : I didnt really know but now I think im bi? ME : Just never had any real dates soooooo

BLAKEYWAKEY : Omg but BLAKEYWAKEY : I showed u mine BLAKEYWAKEY : Oh man I didn’t mean to like freak u out

ME : YOU DIDN’T IM FINE

BLAKEYWAKEY : HOW FINE U PERV

ME : Dude pls don’t ME : I feel weird enough abt shit here ME : We both know u like dick so don’t act like u weren’t perving

BLAKEYWAKEY : ...no comment BLAKEYWAKEY : OKAY FINE if it wasn’t on u I’d be all over it

ME : WOW

BLAKEYWAKEY : U KNOW WHAT I MEANNNN shhh BLAKEYWAKEY : Maybe I’ll let u fwb me up if I get antsy

ME : …bad Blake down kitty

BLAKEYWAKEY : WHY DO U ALWAYS CALL ME KITTY I’M SNSKHDLSLDS

ME : Anyway… yeah maybe I thought she was hot but shes my dads wife ME : It’s not right

BLAKEYWAKEY : Yeahhh BLAKEYWAKEY : Hey im sorry for making it awk BLAKEYWAKEY : Ur probably feeling really messed up abt this BLAKEYWAKEY : Im sorry I’ll shut up

ME : Not really but a little yeah ME : And then there’s… ME : Nvm

BLAKEYWAKEY : ???

Yang really did think about it, but there was no way she could bring herself to tell Blake about her illicit affair with her half-sister. Not over text. Maybe she’d confess to her when she got back for Fall classes.

ME : Anyway tell me about Maine lol do u eat lobster every day

BLAKEYWAKEY : God I wish BLAKEYWAKEY : And do u really think this subject is over?!? What a bad segue

ME : I SAW HER NAKED BIG DEAL

BLAKEYWAKEY : IT KIND OF IS?? For u anyway BLAKEYWAKEY : how big were her boobs

ME : …

By the time Yang was done texting and bingewatching, she felt tired enough to try to go to sleep. Or at least, to lay down and hope that it happened. Worse come to worst, her phone had Netflix.

She poked her head in to check on Ruby once she was all washed up and changed. She was asleep and snoring quietly; it was such a gentle noise that she couldn’t believe Ruby had once acted like it would bother Yang. Smiling, she tiptoed over and leaned down to kiss her forehead.

“Hm?”

“Shhhh. Goodnight.”

“Hey,” Ruby breathed, smiling up at her. “Um… stay here?”

“What?”

“Stay. Sleep here.” She nipped her sheets open for emphasis.

“Nah,” she whispered back with a grin. “It’s okay, I can survive until morning.”

But then Ruby pouted, and she knew she was lost. Rolling her eyes, she walked back to ease the door shut, then slid into the bed next to her sister.

“You’re really warm,” Yang whispered to her.

“Your legs are cold.” They both giggled. “But they’ll be warm, too, in a minute.”

“Whiny brat.”

Pulling Yang’s arms more tightly around her middle, Ruby whispered, “You wanted to.”

“How do you know?”

“Because you did it. And you didn’t even act that grumpy first.”

Dead to rights. Again. Grinning into Ruby’s neck, she said, “I feel so good next to you like this.”

“Oh…” Yang had thought that was it, until she heard a little sniffle half a minute later.

“Ruby?”

Swallowing hard, she clutched at Yang’s arms tighter. When nothing further transpired for a few seconds, and Yang was still waiting for an answer, tense now instead of relaxed, she spoke up… and it became clear why she was so quiet before.

“I love you so much. I… kinda forget it, until y-you say something like that… s-sorry, I don’t m-mean to get so… to get all sappy about…”

“Ruby… I love you, too.”

After a few seconds, Ruby rolled to face her, eyes dark from the low lighting in the room gazing up at her. They didn’t speak for a while; just looked at each other and knew things that no one else would ever know. Then they kissed, chaste at first, more robust after a minute or two. No words.

When Yang felt a pink little tongue poking its way into her mouth, she withdrew and whispered, “Ruby… what are you doing? It’s late…”

“I want this…”

“What?” Another lick along her bottom lip, making Yang shiver. “You have me here already.”

“But I want you to be with me. I… I want…”

So that’s what she meant. Gulping, Yang reached up to pet along Ruby’s back through her tank. “There’s no rush, though.”

“Yeah, but there is. We only have a couple more weeks! And you’ll be gone! So… so I want to start now, I want to do as much as we can!”

The urgency alone threatened to make Yang give in. However, she was made of tougher stuff. Reaching up and grasping her bicep, she managed to catch Ruby’s eyes.

“Why? It’s… I like what we’re already doing.”

“But I want to do everything with you.” Swallowing, she glanced away, then up at Yang again. “I want you to f-feel… feel how wet I am…”

At that little turn of phrase, Yang almost fell out of the bed. “You what?!”

“SHH!” Ruby warned, though neither of them were loud enough to be heard, even by someone sitting right outside the door. Then she followed up with, “Kissing you… it makes my body heat up, my brain go fuzzy. I kinda love it, even while it makes me worried… but none of that’s the point. The point is, I’m so close to you, and I want to be even closer!”

“Ruby…” That was certainly making her own situation no better. While just kissing, her body had only responded a little, but now that her half-sister had revealed her own situation, she couldn’t stop thinking about it long enough to make it go away. Quite the opposite.

A shaky little laugh passed out of Ruby when she felt it. “O-oh, there you are. A little late to the party!” But she didn’t spend much time on that. Again, her lips were mashing into Yang’s as they kissed, bodies sliding over each other a little in their eagerness to feel more, to experience.

After some time, when she felt her own shorts being forced downward, Yang whispered, “This isn’t okay.”

“I know,” Ruby breathed. “But it’s okay with us. ”

“I…” How could she argue with the truth?

Feeling Ruby’s hand directly around her was far different than feeling it through her shorts. If she hadn’t finished herself off so much the past days, she might have succumbed easily… but instead, she merely put up with the teasing, exploring hand, the fingers poking into her flesh slightly as they glided up and down along the throbbing mass.

“It’s so hard,” Ruby told her with an earnest tone. “You’re so hard. Is this for me?”

“U-uh-huh,” she managed before swallowing. “Yes.”

“I, um… I got us a little something. Yesterday. Call me a ‘plan ahead’ kinda girl.”

Reaching behind them into her table, she brought out a little pack of condoms. There weren’t very many, but it was an entire pack’s-worth more than Yang expected to see.

“Oh my god… really? You seriously thought we… but we’re related! This isn’t just messing around and kissing, that’s a whole other-”

“I know, okay? But… no more hiding from it. I love you, and you love me, and this is… kinda part of that. Just dumb not to at least be ready for if it happens.”

As Ruby opened the box, Yang tried to ignore how badly her body was trying to get her to take Ruby up on her offer and failed. Not even the cute and amusing sight of her struggling with the box was enough; she still wanted to be with her in that way. Still liked everything that Ruby was.

“There we go,” she breathed at last, holding up the shiny packet. Her eyebrows waggled, and Yang rolled her eyes, which only earned her a laugh.

“Like you know how to put one of those on.”

“I do! We did it to bananas in health class. Here, I’ll prove it to you.”

“What’s- whoa, you’re…”

Ruby had shimmied down to hover with her face just over Yang’s crotch, a face amongst a pool of blankets. She looked a bit distracted by how close she was to the object of her interest… but she managed to push the desire back for long enough to rip open the packet and pull out the little ring of latex.

“Mmm,” she breathed as she pushed a kiss into Yang’s head… and she felt her mind go blank. Ruby wasn��t just touching her tonight, it seemed. There was so much more in store! “So good…”

Rolling her eyes, she muttered, “You can’t be serious. One kiss on my dick is ‘so good’?”

“Yeah.” Bald honesty shone in her voice.

“O-oh? Really?” Another loving peck along her warm shaft, probably purely to prove herself. “You’re pretty… convincing…”

“I love this dick,” she confessed easily. “It kinda got us talking about us , weird as it is.” Then she began to roll the latex downward…

And all of a sudden, Yang realised she had a real problem. She wasn’t just ready for sex; she was ready to finish. Ruby was doing too good a job! Every movement intended to move the latex protection a little further along her member was one that made it ready to shoot. That early on, she was already biting her lip and writhing back and forth, hoping to resist.

“Ooh, someone’s eager.” Grasping the base, she pumped her hand a few times, causing Yang to gasp out. “Nice!”

“Ruby… y-you gotta stop!”

That seemed to catch her by surprise. Pumping her fist up and down furiously for a second, she smirked and whispered, “Nah. I wanna make sure you stay ready for me.”

“B-but if you- if- NNHHHH!!!”

The last part was somehow growled into the pillow at the last second, instead of the room at large. As much as she was convulsing and gasping out, she knew Ruby would probably figure out soon enough what was going on… but for the time being, she was still being stroked and loving every second.

Then the younger half-sister did start, glancing between the end of the balloon entrapping her sex and Yang’s face, stretched wide in release.

“Oh shit… did you- did we really just-”

“I’m so sorry, dude,” Yang half-wheezed, eyes closing in distant pleasure from the hand still wrapped around her. “Seriously… you were all about this, doing so much, and then, I… I suck! Obviously!”

Smiling gently, Ruby patted her thigh, releasing her spent length in the process. “I’m sorry! God, I really didn’t think you were that close to- I wasn’t trying- WOW, you came just from that?!”

Her face burned with embarrassment. This was even worse than the fact that they were crossing societal lines to be together; she couldn’t even seem to handle that “together” part without losing control way, way too early. She wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.

“Oh… awww, Yang, it’s okay,” Ruby cooed when she finally realised how much this was affecting her. Her arms circled around her back. “Hey…”

“That was p-pathetic!” she snapped into the pillow. “God, after yesterday, I thought I could hold out longer!”

“Yang, I don’t care about that! I’m… it makes me happy that felt so good that you couldn’t wait.” Her smiling face pushed in closer to Yang’s, and she kissed both of her cheeks. “You did tell me to slow down and I… I should have listened. I’m really sorry. Um, I just didn’t want you to go soft while I was putting it on?”

Finally, she began to calm down, little by little. When she could talk again, she let out a long sigh and whispered, “Thanks, Ruby. I, um… I think you really wanted this to be… like, our first time? And… now it can’t be.”

“Y-yeah, I um, I’ve heard that… people with dicks can’t go again when they’re done.” To her credit, she did remember not to say “guys” that time. “But it’s cool! You finished, and I’m happy to help. Oh, and speaking of which…”

As Yang watched, fascinated and still embarrassed, Ruby pulled the condom off and threw it and the wrapper away, then wiped her hands on a tissue and tossed that before returning to the bed. In the meantime, Yang pulled her shorts back up; she didn’t want Ruby’s first real look at her anatomy being when it was freshly-milked and half-hard, coated in leftover lube and her own juices.

“Awww,” Ruby cooed as she returned to the bed. “I wanted to play with that.”

“Not tonight,” Yang said with a half-smile. “Maybe… I can do something for you?”

But when her hands fell to Ruby’s waist, the girl looked down with a self-conscious giggle. “N-nah. I m-mean, I, um… I don’t think I’m…” Then she cleared her throat. “I thought I was ready to go there with you, I guess, but like, just you doing it for me is different somehow. That’s probably really dumb.”

Wrapping her arms around Ruby’s back instead, she simply laid next to her for a long moment. Then, once they were a little more comfortable, she spoke.

“It’s not dumb. It’s… sweet, in a way. But I think… I think I’d be okay playing with you now. And I know, I was kinda weird about it at first, because of the sister thing. But by now I think we’re kind of past that, I guess. So… if you change your mind, I could try a hand, at least. O-or something.”

“Listen to us,” Ruby giggled quietly. “Both pretty nervous. I, um… I think it’s kind of more fun with you being my sister. No, wait!” she squeaked when Yang drew back in shock. “You know, because we’re kind of, like… destined to be together, because we’re related? I know, I’m crazy, but it’s weirdly romantic to me.”

Shaking her head, she pushed her face into her sister’s neck. “You think too much. But… maybe, yeah. And…” She’d been worrying about this for a long time. “And I kind of deserve this, for being such a jerk when you were little. Telling you that you were ‘dumb’ or whatever, and that I didn't like you. Like, what makes more karmic sense than for me to fall in love with you and have to eat my own words?”

“So you think of this as a punishment? Me jerking you off is a punishment?”

“What? Oh! Shit, no, that totally isn’t-” But Ruby’s laughter cut her off, and she grunted, “You butt…”

“Yeah, you like my butt.”

“All of you is on the list, and all of you is a butt,” she sighed as she snuggled against her even more closely. “Big, ridonk badonkadonk.”

[pbandjesse]

Today was such a better day. I am very tired and I hurt my chin somehow. But Im not upset anymore and I feel so much better about stuff. 

This morning was hard though. I didnt sleep great. I am working on getting up at 8 every day and so far so good. But I was in a low mood. I felt anxious and I had an upset stomach and my chest hurt. I was just really worked up. I had breakfast and tried to focus on other things. Played a little animal crossing. But I didnt want to be around anyone and I needed James to not be around. I felt bad about that but I was very on edge. So he stayed in the other room and left me be. 

I did some sewing. I tried to just focus on that. I made a bag of water color supplies to bring with me. Around 11 I watched the inauguration. That helped make me feel a little better. Like its not perfect, but its better. I need to have something nice to focus on and I think Biden is a nice man. I just really hope he doesnt drop that ball. That he makes things happen. 

James came and laid with me and we watched it together. It was nice to lay together. I enjoyed listening to the inaugural speech. It made me feel a little more hopeful. 

But soon it was time to go to work. 

I was not looking forward but I knew I had to go. I needed to play this out. And Im glad I did. 

It was crazy windy today. I got to the school and I was like. Woah. But it was all good. The building is very nice and cozy. I got in and checked in with the office and they decided I would shadow someone else today. Man. What a weight off my shoulders. They said that yesterdays yelling was not a big deal and was very normal for that parent. And that I was all good. I felt a lot better. 

I was with kindergarden today! And it was great! The room I was in had 4 kids, but I would help periodically with the other room too. I did not feel the same stress as yesterday. I helped the kids when I could. I had a table to sit at. I worked on a new idea I had for drawing the stuffed animals Im posting on instagram. Im excited to try some digital art. 

And the kids were really sweet. I would spend some time with the smaller class and some with the bigger one. The kids were all very sweet and I didnt have any issues at all. Like there were normal stuff like spilled juice and not wanting to be in class and stuff like that. But it was all good. I was in a much better mood. 

Once the kids were done their school work and had snack I brought out the watercolors and they were really excited to paint. They had me draw buzz lightyear and I did not! Know! How! To! Do! That! But I tried and we all had a laugh about it. 

Eventually we put that away and instead I taught them what I know about digital drawing. And that became a whole thing. Because once we moved to the open space with the other classes everyone wanted to try that! So I made a 3-5 minute time slot and had a line of kids trying digital art. It was so fun! I had to step away to take the littles to the bathroom or whatever but it was a good time and the kids were good at it. Im glad I got to share that with them. 

It was a much less stressful day but it was a little hard working until 6. The sun went down and I was just like. I want to leave!! But my last kid didnt get picked up until 545. Ah well. It was still a lot of fun and I held it together. Played legos and drew with the kids. Tomorrow they are going to put me with the 2nd graders I think. Im looking forward to meeting more kids. I hope its a good day then too. I was in a much better mood when I left. 

I got home and was starving though. I had pizza, soup, and a hardboiled egg. I worked on a little drawing and watched videos for a while. I had to glue my sunglasses that broke. But thats alright. 

Now I am thinking I just want to take a shower and get ready for bed. I feel really tired, but not in such a miserable way like I was. I hope tomorrow feels better and I can just have a nice monring and a good time at work. Wish me luck everyone. Take care of eachother!! 

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Carls, what's good? Carly: me Ali: ooh, ok, love a bit of self-love Ali: ✝ or 😍 or 💊 or other good [please state] Carly: 🍆 Ali: 👌 noiceee Ali: anyone i know? Ali: nosy bitch i know but i'm living vicariously these days 😉 Carly: yea Carly: i cant tell tales outta school Ali: ugh Ali: boo! 😂 Ali: I'll have to stick to being excited Ro and Drew are back on... Carly: you can try Ali: 🔪💚 Ali: killing me Ali: need some good news gurl, if you can't tell me about your dickscapades then tell me something else for my posi vibes Ali: yeah? Ali: got a ☮ rep to maintain Carly: theres pills for that Carly: ill share Ali: aw, she really cares! 😘 Ali: i'm still attached to rio by the tit so can't Ali: bummer 😋 Carly: 🍼 her Carly: she old enough? Ali: breast is best baby and mine are spectacular Ali: depends on the kiddo, and whether you can or can't, if you can you usually do it to a year max tho, that's my goal so got a while yet Carly: dont rub it in 🔪 Carly: killing me now Ali: bitch please Ali: you're 😍 Ali: and clearly someone is loving it Carly: if youre trying something im tired Carly: wait Ali: i know you straight as hell, despite the bait honey 😂 you're good Ali: ? Carly: dont tell him that Carly: rep of my own Ali: how can I tell him? Ali: don't know who it is, do I? Carly: yea you do Ali: right Ali: what to do Ali: quandary man Carly: nothing Ali: I fear you're right Ali: not your fault, he won't listen and neither will she so Ali: but I should, yeah? what would you do Carls Carly: he listens to me thats far as i go Carly: keep out Carly: nobodys gonna thank you for sticking in Ali: and I'm not going to convince you arguing Ro's case, am I? Because- Ali: Yeah, I figured as much Carly: why Carly: she can talk to me herself if shes got something to say Carly: not your job Ali: she's not going to do that Ali: that isn't her, on so many levels Ali: its sister shit Ali: I'm supposed to at least try but its hard when I know they're wrong and that fighting it would be a losing battle Carly: i can not text him first Carly: but he'll text me Carly: not missing out i was here first Ali: I know Ali: Fun times, man Ali: can I ask you something? Carly: it is for me Carly: sorry for her but we have something Carly: yea Ali: that's what i wanted to ask Ali: kinda Ali: is it just the fucking and drug connecs? and there's no judgement there, that's enough if it is Ali: just curious honestly Carly: idk idc Carly: its good Carly: thats a shit word for it Ali: i get it Ali: it makes more sense than with Ro Ali: sorry, don't repeat that Ali: but I'm trying to work out the attraction Ali: collecting info like the nerd i am Carly: does he like her Carly: or just the chase cuz she dont put out Ali: I wish I knew Ali: There has to be something in it for him, doesn't there? Or, what the fuck is he doing Carly: id lie that its about me if thatd help Carly: but we arent that Ali: Nah? Ali: Maybe he don't fucking know either Ali: I'd ask but I'm not getting a straight answer so meh Carly: he doesnt use my name Carly: does he remember hers Ali: Like you said, she doesn't talk about that kinda thing, but I hope so Ali: I don't think Ro would deal if he didn't but what do I know Ali: you're cool with it? Carly: the answers there Carly: he must like her Carly: scared to wife her Carly: i dont have his tattooed on me either Ali: funny way of showing it Ali: fucking hell, more drama than my own 😂 Ali: good, i'm glad you're happy with it forreals, one less to worry about Carly: i miss him Carly: thats not for you to nerd over Ali: but he doesn't stop Ali: that's what drives me wild, he gets his cake and eats it too when he's with Ro too Ali: but preaching to the choir or whatever the fuck here Ali: sorry, wish I could tell Ro this, that's all Carly: hes not getting any cake from her Ali: is that what he's telling you? or just presumption? Carly: we dont talk about her Ali: okay well at least he's not bullshitting here Ali: 'cos nah girl Carly: not good shit k Carly: thats why he wants me so bad Ali: that's what i mean, so if he loves her and wants you, that'd be chill if Ro was cool with it but she ain't Ali: right Ali: know what I gotta do now at least Carly: but youre not ratting me out to him Carly: dont need that mood Ali: of course not Ali: like i said, you've done nothing wrong Ali: he's not trying to hide anything, i think she knows Ali: so its not gonna come back to you, it can't Carly: k Carly: i need him to come around Carly: whenever Ali: sounds like he will Ali: don't think anyone or thing is stopping him Ali: do you love him? Carly: no Carly: i Carly: we have fun Ali: alright Ali: good Ali: i hope he'll treat you better when all this shit gets sorted Ali: more fun, full time, what could be better? Carly: he's good to me Carly: 🍆 & 💊 Carly: no better Ali: you won't have to miss him Ali: for one Ali: or share Ali: 🍆 at least Ali: you'll have to always get in line for the 💊 Carly: there's always other girls Carly: get in line for him too Carly: sharing can be fun Ali: yeah? fairplay Ali: do you get to bring other boys Ali: or is it just other girls for him Carly: why would i wanna bring other lads in? he's the better fuck Ali: if you insist Ali: plenty of dick in the sea tho Carly: not for you Ali: but i'm wifey-ed Ali: that ain't you, like you said Carly: yea Carly: i know when im onto a good thing tho Ali: you ain't a good thing? Ali: or drew just a fool? 🤔😜 Carly: no im not Carly: ask around Ali: why not? Ali: i don't listen to the town goss, heaven help my self-esteem if I did Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Ali: yeah yeah yeah Ali: I know I'm annoying tf out of you but can't be tamed Carly: me too Ali: 😂 Ali: bitchfight in woodwork? Ali: really rock their worlds Carly: yea Ali: just no tools okay Ali: i don't want permanent disfiguration Carly: only the tat Carly: k Ali: oh, you're conservative on skin art now? 🤔 Ali: got a kid honey, if he chucks me, that's the real glaring awkwardness Carly: shit true Carly: & id go for some ink Ali: let me let me! Ali: i've convinced you that i'm dead sane and aren't going to brand you with a red A, yeah? 🤪😉 Carly: come over and do it Ali: yeah? Ali: lets do this Ali: think what you want Carly: draw what you wanna Ali: 🙌🙏 Ali: have you been sent by god herself?! Carly: or her boy Carly: isnt that who the devil is? her bf Ali: 🤨 Ali: imma give you a theology 101 whilst i'm there too Ali: the real story is lowkey better, trust Carly: idk the porno was good shit Ali: rule 34 baby Ali: i'll draw you that Ali: not on you Ali: unless you're REALLY vibing Carly: whats rule 34 Ali: if it exists, there is porn of it 🤓 Ali: fun game Ali: think of the most outlandish fucked up shit you think no one would think of, search it on pornhub Ali: drink if it exists Carly: ive done that Carly: it is fun Ali: high 🖐 Carly: tomorrow? Carly: bring the kid if its a thing Ali: fosho Ali: playdate! 😜 Ali: might have a gran on duty but cheers if not Carly: k Ali: imma sketch Ali: where do you want this Carly: idc Carly: use the space you wanna Carly: gotta have a 34 in there tho now Ali: absolutely Ali: lucky number Carly: yea Ali: do it in mandarin or something so you can be #deep and #classy Ali: keep 'em guessing gurl Carly: 🔪 im dead Ali: ☠ i'll write a beautiful eulogy on your corpse Carly: aw Ali: i ain't drew but want me to bring any goodies Ali: aside from aformentioned tits Carly: hitting with all the qs you know the answers to Ali: aw honey i'm flattered Ali: #whenshegoesbiforyou Ali: i'll see what i can do 😉 Carly: can't wait