#with enough analysis. mostly of vibes

[sniped-hugger]

happy 4/13 have my hot takes /silly

[mari-lair]

If I had a penny for everytime someone on TikTok wrote an analysis "heavily influenced" by the ones I made here with zero credit I would have 4 whole pennies.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

hi! Who do you think was the most special person for Sirius? I love your analysis

James. No question.

Okay, now more seriously: Hi, thank you so much!

But yeah, it was James and later Harry, but Harry was never James in Sirius' eyes. I think I talked about it a bit in various posts in the past but I low-key think one-sided Prongsfoot (as in Sirius was in love with James) is canon. There isn't like, much textual evidence, it's mostly a vibe thing, so I consider it a canon-based headcanon more than a proper theory, but I think there's something there if you want to read into it.

I kind of wanted to make a post about it for a while, so this ask is as good an excuse as any:

So, I want to start by saying James and Sirius are not normal about each other. Their friendship is kind of insane and it's mutual. There's a reason in PoA whenever someone talks about them they forget Remus and Peter and just talk about James and Sirius and how inseparable they are:

“You say you remember him at Hogwarts, Rosmerta,” murmured Professor McGonagall. “Do you remember who his best friend was?” “Naturally,” said Madam Rosmerta, with a small laugh. “Never saw one without the other, did you? The number of times I had them in here — ooh, they used to make me laugh. Quite the double act, Sirius Black and James Potter!”

(PoA)

Their names are on the same breath for all their teachers & Rosmerta. So much so, that they had to place them in separate detentions. Not that it helped because these two found a way to not be separate for even a second:

This is a two-way mirror. I’ve got the other. If you need to speak to me, just say my name into it; you’ll appear in my mirror and I’ll be able to talk in yours. James and I used to use them when we were in separate detentions.

(OotP)

They literally couldn't spend an hour apart from each other when in school. I completely understand why you "never saw one without the other".

Every photo they took, they took so they were flush next to each other at the center of the Mauraders:

With a leap of pleasure, Harry recognized his father; his untidy black hair stuck up at the back like Harry’s, and he too wore glasses. Beside him was Sirius, carelessly handsome, his slightly arrogant face so much younger and happier than Harry had ever seen it alive. To Sirius’s right stood Pettigrew, more than a head shorter, plump and watery-eyed, flushed with pleasure at his inclusion in this coolest of gangs, with the much-admired rebels that James and Sirius had been. On James’s left was Lupin

(DH)

He was the best man in James and Lily's wedding, right there next to James the whole wedding:

He stopped on a picture of his parents’ wedding day. There was his father waving up at him, beaming, the untidy black hair Harry had inherited standing up in all directions. There was his mother, alight with happiness, arm in arm with his dad. And there ... that must be him. Their best man ... Harry had never given him a thought before.

(PoA)

Sirius was Harry's godfather and as I mentioned here, it appears Sirius lived with James and Lily when they were married before they went into hiding. JKR stated Sirius & Lily were living on James' inheritance — not Remus who couldn't get a job, not Peter who didn't get an inheritance from Uncle Alphard — Sirius.

When Sirius had enough of his family at 16, he went to James. It's always James for him. He probably felt he was able to leave his family because he knew he could go to James.

Sirius' plan with the Secret Keeper switch was that everyone would think he was the Secret Keeper so they'd torture and kill him and he wouldn't be able to tell them anything. His plan was to die for James, Lily, and Harry. Sirius didn't think he'd survive the first war if Voldemort really wanted to get to the Potters and it was worth it for him. Because James, Lily, and Harry would be safe, and he expects everyone else to do so too:

“You don’t understand!” whined Pettigrew. “He would have killed me, Sirius!” “THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE DIED!” roared Black. “DIED RATHER THAN BETRAY YOUR FRIENDS, AS WE WOULD HAVE DONE FOR YOU!”

(PoA)

Lily was well aware of how codependent James and Sirius were:

James is getting a bit frustrated shut up here, he tries not to show it but I can tell—also Dumbledore’s still got his Invisibility Cloak, so no chance of little excursions. If you could visit, it would cheer him up so much.

(DH)

She knows that Sirius can talk James into things she can't. She knows how inseparable these two are and how important it is to Sirius to be on Harry's birthday, as she comforts him about it in her letter. I think Lily was more consciously aware of the insanity that was James and Sirius than either James or Sirius. I mean, it speaks volumes that Lily feels the need to write Sirius to talk sense into her husband becouse she knows it would work and that Sirius would do it. Because I'm sure the moment Sirius saw this letter he made the time to come over because it was for James. And Sirius would die for James in a heartbeat, without a second thought. Becouse, yes, it is how his loyalty works, but there aren't many people Sirius Black is loyal to to that degree. Even though he says he'd die for Peter, I don't think he'd do it as quickly and as readily as he would for James or Harry (after all, he makes fun of Peter in SWM in a way he'd never dare to when it comes to James).

When Sirius talks about James in the books, there is so much reverence. The same reverence Snape has for Lily and more. James is on a pedestal on which he can do no wrong in Sirius' mind — and it might've been that way when James was alive too, if perhaps to a lesser degree.

“He kept messing up his hair,” said Harry in a pained voice. Sirius and Lupin laughed. “I’d forgotten he used to do that,” said Sirius affectionately.

(OotP)

When talking to Harry about James' negative traits and behavior with in OotP, Sirius is incapable of seeing James in a negative light. While Lily disliked James' cruelty (I think she was fine with the arrogance somewhat, contrary to what she says), Sirius loved James' cruelty becouse it was James. (Sirius is probably also a crueler person than Lily, but that's a different matter). But Sirius isn't willing to see any faults in James' behavior or traits. James is a good person and his best friend and he knows, objectively, that James did bad things, but he would rather call it being an "idiot teenager" than what it was. Like, this fandom talks a lot about Snape putting Lily on a pedestal, but what about Sirius with James?

James could murder someone in cold blood in front of Sirius for no reason and Sirius would start making excuses for him on why he was actually right to do so. ("no auror, see, this was actually completely justified and the right thing to do!")

“Look, Harry,” said Sirius placatingly, “James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other, it was just one of those things, you can understand that, can’t you? I think James was everything Snape wanted to be — he was popular, he was good at Quidditch, good at pretty much everything.

(OotP)

(I love that while excusing the bullying he sings James' praises, I can just hear the 'good-looking' he isn't saying out loud)

And even when he confesses they were berks for what they did, he spreads the blame on all of them:

“I’m not proud of it,” said Sirius quickly. [...] “If we were sometimes arrogant little berks, you mean,” said Sirius. [...] “Well . . . I thought he was a bit of an idiot.” [Harry] “Of course he was a bit of an idiot!” said Sirius bracingly. “We were all idiots! Well — not Moony so much,” he said fairly, looking at Lupin, but Lupin shook his head.

(OotP)

Sirius doesn't blame James without blaming all of them. And, he continued to justify James as he said it. (I'll add Remus is doing just as much to defend James and excuse all of his behavior, so it's not just Sirius)

“She didn’t know too much about it, to tell you the truth,” said Sirius. “I mean, James didn’t take Snape on dates with her and jinx him in front of her, did he?”

(OotP)

I wanted to note this above quote because it's interesting to me. Yes, it's Sirius not minding James' behavior again, but I find it interesting that James didn't reform completely and hides it from Lily, but not from Sirius — never from Sirius. Kind of goes with how in the letter Lily mentions how James is trying to act strong in front of her, but he probably wouldn't in front of Sirius. Their friendship was just the most important connection to both of them. James keeps secrets from Lily, the love of his life, but not from his best mate Sirius who lives with them.

(Also the "took Snape on dates with Lily" made me think James had Sirius hide nearby on at least one date with Lily to help him out and Lily, obviously, caught them. Either as Padfoot for moral support or sitting in the bushes with the two-way mirror as James holds his under the table at Madam Puddifoot's)

Sirius outright says himself James was the most important person to him:

Sirius frowned at Harry, who was still looking unconvinced. “Look,” he said, “your father was the best friend I ever had, and he was a good person. A lot of people are idiots at the age of fifteen. He grew out of it.”

(OotP)

I also think Sirius had zero experience pre-Azkaban, contrary to some fanon (at least in real relationships, I can see him having a few one-night stands, but not many). I mean:

With another shock of excitement, Harry saw Sirius give James the thumbs-up. Sirius was lounging in his chair at his ease, tilting it back on two legs. He was very good-looking; his dark hair fell into his eyes with a sort of casual elegance neither James’s nor Harry’s could ever have achieved, and a girl sitting behind him was eyeing him hopefully, though he didn’t seem to have noticed. 

(OotP)

Harry instantly notes how hot Sirius is and how he is getting girls' attention, and yet, Sirius only has eyes for James. He doesn't notice the girl (or any other) because he's looking at James. This is practically text at this point (mostly joking, but also, not really).

And Sirius' fixation on James started from day one, from the moment these two met:

“Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I’d leave, wouldn’t you?” James asked the boy lounging on the seats opposite him, and with a jolt, Harry realized that it was Sirius. Sirius did not smile. “My whole family have been in Slytherin,” he said. “Blimey,” said James, “and I thought you seemed all right!” Sirius grinned. “Maybe I’ll break the tradition. Where are you heading, if you’ve got the choice?”

(DH)

Sirius and James just met, the train barely even moved out of the station, and Sirius was upset at the possibility James wouldn't like him now because of his family history in Slytherin. It's the opposite reaction Harry had to Draco about the "wrong sort of wizard" where Harry would rather be disliked by an arrogant berk, Sirius wanted James to like him. Sirius wants James to like him so much that when James says he thought Sirius was "all right", Sirius jumps at the opportunity to prove why James should like him because he won't be a Slytherin like the rest of his family.

I low-key think this conversation affected Sirius' sorting. I think that, loath as he is to admit it, Sirius has some Slytherin characteristics, he has the cunning, the arrogance, and try as he might, he is still, so clearly, a rich pureblood from the House of Black. And he acts it. I think he was a borderline sorting and the hat took his preference. I can see young Sirius going "not Slytheirn" the same way Harry did (I like the mirroring). I think he considered that before, I think Sirius' started drifting from his family before, but I think James' words really cemented it to him.

and, just look how Sirius is with Harry. Listen, I'm the first person to jump to Sirius' defense when anyone claims he sees Harry as a James replacement — he doesn't. But Sirius' devotion to Harry (which is insane, I mean, he lived in a cave and ate rats for months, he returned to his family home which he both loathes and misses becouse it'll help the Order keep Harry safe) is an extension of his devotion to James. Sirius would do anything for Harry becouse he'll do anything for James. He sees Harry as his own person, I don't think he treats him the way he treated James at all, but his love for Harry and loyalty to him is tied to his love for James. James is the initial connecting tissue.

This post was a bit more of a rambly one than a proper essay, but I think the point comes across.

[thydungeongal]

Oh Gal of Thy Dungeon, do you have any recommendations for games that dungeon crawl like Legend of Zelda, or hacks/supplements that support that mode of play? Mostly, think the dungeons in Ocarina of Time, Majora’s Mask, Wind Waker, and Twilight Princess. Thank you!

Hmmm, okay, of those I've only played Ocarina of Time but I'm broadly familiar with that style of dungeon design. It's sort of like a progression of locks and keys that need to be tackled in a certain order to get to the end of the dungeon, and while there might be branching paths they all eventually lead back to the main path.

So, the thing about those types of dungeons is that in my opinion they're very much system agnostic and can theoretically be plugged into any system. But what you might want to be aware of is that due to the infinite possibility space afforded to by RPGs sequence breaking becomes something that characters can be almost expected to do, because there will be fewer game mechanical contrivances in their way.

But that's not a bad thing. I think the combination of that Zelda-like flowchart dungeon of locks and keys AND allowing for creative tactics to sequence break it is basically best of both worlds. For an example: I once planned a dungeon for D&D where one of the obstacles was a very typical Zelda style big boulder in a corridor, but one of the treasures I placed elsewhere in the dungeon was a pair of gauntlets of ogre power which would grant anyone enough strength to lift that boulder. But if a character had had other means of overcoming that boulder (like a stone shape spell) then hell yeah.

Game Maker's Toolkit has a good series on the dungeon design of the Legend of Zelda series which you can use right now to help you think of dungeons the way Zelda handles them:

So okay, you can easily do Zelda style dungeons in pretty much any dungeoning fantasy game, but if you want a game that absolutely captures the aesthetic and vibes of the Zelda games I recommend Break!!

First of all, it has very much a flowchart approach to dungeon design already, which pairs nicely with Zelda dungeons, and it is explicitly inspired by classic video games, including the Zelda series. Heck, instead of hit points Break!! characters have hearts. It is pretty much perfect for that sort of thing.

[glamourscat]

୨୧ Shidou's hcs ୨୧

CW: nothing?? maybe a little angst

a meme sender. Idk he just gives off those vibes, he would probably fill any messaging chat w random memes. Or even worse, reacts to some of your messages with those really cringe meme reaction pictures ... like this one

takes pictures on your phone when you leave it around. Good luck w your storage, cause it will always be full of random pictures. From forehead pics, funny faces, pictures of you sleeping

We know that one of his fav/best subjects at school aside from PE was art. I like to think he likes art as a hobby, especially after a stressfull day on the field. Mostly painting or sketching, but I can see photography and music especially.

It’s no secret that he doesn’t fit in. From his bold and extravagant style, I mean the guy's colour palette is literally hot pink, but that aside is — he is literally the total opposite of what the Japanese culture claims to be. Unapologetically loud, extroverted, doesnt accept societal norms. No wonder he is seen as an outsider in blue lock lmao. Especially because, like Bachira but slightly different, Shidou doesn’t play because he wants to win. Not like Isagi, not like Rin, who if they lose a match will go absolutely nuts. He plays because he just wants to play. His philosophy on football is to leave a mark, big enough that people know he was there and to just enjoy football as it is.

But, with that said, taking in consideration his philosophy and the way he lives, I think he would be into someone who’s pretty much the opposite of what society expects. He doesn’t want “the society standard”, he doesn’t want you to change yourself because of him (eg: shaving, cutting hair like you think he would like, less or more makeup etc..) he wants you to be yourself. From your clothes to the way you present yourself. He wants someone that can be loud as him, unafraid to be free— to search for that freedom with him, but at the same time someone who’s brave enough to be calm during the storm (aka at night when you two are alone with your thoughts and feelings) 

His partner will be the same coin, just different side of it. Someone that can literally match his freak lol, but who’s different enough to anchor him down. Someone who sees the world in colours, someone who’s unconventional in the eyes of all. 

Aesthetically wise, I don’t think it really matters to him. Again, it’s a matter of vibes mostly. Still, I can see him taking a liking into people who have unconventional features or fashion style. Anyone who "doesn't fit in". Both people with muscle and plus size people. He gives me the vibes of someone who would enjoy squeezing the living out of you, I can’t explain why. If you’re into makeup, even better. I think colour wise, his partner would have a clothing palette maybe similar to his. Some colourful stuff, mixed with base colours. I don’t see him with someone that just dresses with one tone/colour. Someone who maybe doesn’t even have a particular fixed style, but every day dresses differently base on their mood. 

Just by taking a look at what his favourite manga, movie and song is (i go in more detail about my analysis on them here) I feel he is an extreme political being. His style was already a dead giveaway, but, the fact he likes those three pieces of media that hold such heavy political discourse, the lack of freedom, the sense of feeling trapped… I would say he is someone who’s definitely involved in politics. See it as you wish. 

Lastly, i think he struggles to make friends. It’s no secret, he comes across as strong, personality wise— extremely imposing. His aura has probably scared a few people off before. He probably craves those deep, intense, friendships with someone.

let me know your thoughts on them!

© glamourscat

[noodlesarecheese]

So Watcher is launching a Dropout (it's not called Dropout but they're clearly using the same template format platform thing idk what it's called, and the same pricing structure), and the reaction so far has been wildly different than what I remember from Dropout's launch. I was curious about why that was or if I was just misremembering the Dropout launch, so I went back to the Dropout launch video to compare them and I think I can see where some of the difference is coming from.

If you want to make the comparison yourself: Watcher's Video, Dropout's Video.

I wanna clarify first though that this isn't a knock against Watcher or the fans who are reacting one way or another or anything like that, I genuinely am just fascinated with how different the reactions are to what seems to be the same business decision. This also isn't a 'wow watcher sucks and dropout is so much better' I'm just using them for comparison because they did the same thing with different results. ALSO this isn't about the business decision itself, just the presentation! Disclaimers out of the way, here's the analysis.

Title and Thumbnail So the Watcher.tv announcement video is titled "Goodbye Youtube" and the thumbnail is Ryan, Shane, and Steven sitting on a couch looking serious, with a dark background. That really makes it seem like they're quitting (which, ok, they are quitting youtube but not quitting quitting). Viewers are already primed to be upset, and it's easier to go from upset to angry than upset to excited, curious, or neutral.

Compare to the dropout announcement video: "How the Internet is Ruining Comedy" - inline with other collegehumor video titles, might make you curious. Thumbnail - Big News! with Sam smiling and a bright background. We know its big news, but he looks happy, and the exclamation point let's us know they want us to be excited. Viewers are primed to be curious and excited.

Tone The Watcher announcement has 2 main tones. The first half is very sentimental, almost sad or wistful at times, and while there are parts that veer into pride at achievements, it's mostly bittersweet and sentimental. The second half is a bit more uplifting, but still quite serious. It reminded me of a tech announcement, like when they introduce the new iphone or something like that. Very professional, sleek, and serious, which isn't automatically a bad thing! But I do think that's not the vibe a decently-sized chunk of the audience expected or wanted. Many people watch Watcher for the cast's dynamic with each other, humor, and the more relaxed/conversational/friendly feel that most of the series have.

Compare to dropout - excited and comedic tone. Still professional, but also fits the expectations of the viewers. People watch collegehumor for the humor (it was in the name, after all). They also poke a bit of fun at themselves, which lightens the mood, shows self-awareness, and alleviates some of the bad feelings about paywalling.

Focus The Watcher announcement focuses a lot on the creative journey of the cast and company, as well as how this move will benefit them. Which isn't a bad thing, that's actually quite interesting! The problem here, I think, is actually more about what isn't here - a solid explanation of how this will also benefit the viewers and why the viewers should be excited. There's a brief description of one new show, and the promise that existing shows will get an upgrade, but we weren't given many specific details about how they'll be improved, and there's only one new show to tempt us into subscribing. Some people will be excited for that, some people won't, and some people will be excited but not enough to subscribe. Having 2 or 3 series (even if it's 1 fleshed out plus a few teasers of what's in production or what is being planned) plus some more details about how existing shows will be improved would've helped. Without that, it really does seem like it'll just be the same stuff viewers were getting for free, but now paywalled, rather than new and exciting stuff. That makes a big difference. I think with the fans not getting as much focus, this also led to some (accidental, I hope) hurt feelings. Based on what I've seen from fan reactions, all the talk about hitting the peak of what they can do on youtube and wanting more, translated for many people to 'youtube isn't enough' which became 'you (the current viewers) aren't enough.' Which I don't think was their intent! But I also don't think fans are wrong for feeling hurt by that.

Compare to dropout: They clearly explain how the move will benefit fans, and reassure viewers that existing content will stay where it is, and only new content will be behind the paywall. (Watcher clarified this too, but in a comment. It's not in the video itself, which is a huge problem.) They include clips of several new (at the time) series that would be premiering on dropout, including things that specifically could not be made on youtube (due to weed, violence, and sexual humor), so the reason for the shift is clear to the audience.

Advertisers Both videos contain the sentiment that being monetarily successful on youtube means working to appease the advertisers, and that over time what the advertisers want and what the creators want drifts further and further apart, putting strain on the creators.

However, I think the message gets lost a bit in the Watcher vid. Instead, it leaves viewers with the idea that the main problem is just ads are annoying instead of advertisers putting constraints on content. I'm not even sure what the specific constraints are for watcher, because they didn't give any examples. And the focus on ads being annoying leaves viewers frustrated because people typically either don't mind ads or they already have an ad blocker.

Timing and Size Okay, this isn't exactly about presentation, but it is still a factor that impacts perception so I'm tackling it. And I'm actually going to do dropout first. CollegeHumor launched dropout in September 2018. Pre-pandemic, but also pre-Sam Reich as CEO. The company was still owned by IAC. It was a Company, and while it wasn't huge it wasn't tiny either. So launching dropout was a Company Decision, a Business Strategy. Some people were upset about, but it wasn't a personal betrayal (generally, anyways). If I remember correctly, this was also not a high point for the company. They kinda needed dropout to do well to keep things running smoothly (which is why they shut it down and sold it to Sam just 1 1/2ish years later), so the sudden shift made sense.

Watcher Entertainment is a company, but it doesn't feel like one. Ryan, Shane, and Steven own and operate things, but they're also the faces, and they're youtubers. Which makes every business decision they make feel more personal to viewers, especially those who have been watching for a long time. They've also seemingly been doing well on youtube, which makes it more difficult for viewers to understand why the sudden change is happening now. They do talk a bit about it, about the company expanding and wanting to do things that advertisers don't like (which I've already covered). However, mostly the choice to start a streaming platform is framed as 'the next big step' without much clarification on why it's the next big step. Plus, it's post-pandemic, and a lot of people are still struggling financially with the ripple effects of that. Yes, $6 isn't a wild amount of money, but there have been some months where $5 absolutely meant the difference between paying all my bills or not, and I know I'm not the only one. This, coupled with a lack of clarity about why exactly they're doing this, leads to fans feeling hurt, betrayed, bitter, and frustrated.

Now, presentation and framing isn't everything. No matter how perfect your announcement is, some people are still going to be upset. It's a big change, of course people will be upset! But I do think a more careful presentation would've alleviated some of the hurt and anger that fans are feeling. While I do think a lot of the reaction we're seeing is due to the decision, I think (based on what I've seen) that some of it is also based on the poor communication in the video itself, and that could've been avoided!

So I'm gonna get a little speculative and describe what I would've done. In this hypothetical, they've decided to launch the streaming service and brought me on just for the announcement.

Firstly, switch the title out. If they're married to Goodbye Youtube then add a (and hello...?) after so it's at least obvious they aren't fully quitting. The dark color scheme of the thumbnail fits their regular vibe, but they want everyone to be excited so they should look excited. Next, let's lighten the tone up. Being proud of what they've done so far is great, but we don't need the sentimental music and bittersweetness. Remember, the goal is to get viewers excited about what come's next - so let's focus on what actually comes next! Talk about specific show plans and mention why they wouldn't work on youtube. Then, take some time to reassure the fans. Predict a few likely worries and address them in the video. Acknowledge that it's a big change, that it will take time to get used to, and that not everyone will be onboard, and let the fans know that it's ok if they aren't onboard.

Like I said, this wouldn't fix everything. There are a few differences in between dropout and watcher that don't have anything to do with presentation. Dropout launched with primarily new shows rather than new seasons of existing shows, and they continued uploading to youtube relatively regularly in addition to the content behind the paywall, which I do think went a long way to keeping fans happy. At this point it's unclear if watcher will do either of those or not. But, while I don't think it would fix everything, I do think improved communication in the announcement would've helped.

[mothymoon]

I think it's kinda interesting how, while the Beasts are opposites of the Ancients, some feel like reflections to Ancients they're not directly related to.

Starting with the pair that feels most obvious, Silent Salt and Dark Cacao. Their designs especially seem similar with the armor, sword, and color palette. Silence also feels like it can be related to Dark Cacao's isolation during his previous arc.

This feels the same as with Pure Vanilla and Mystic Flour. Again with their color palettes, but also with their religious theming, both being obligated to help all those that seek their guidance.

Again, mostly similar vibe with these two. You could even argue that Destruction can be considered an extention of Passion in a way. These next pairs get a bit weaker with their comparisons, which is why I started with the strongest ones first.

My comparisons for Golden Cheese and Eternal Sugar come down to both of them having wings and some speculation I have. "Eternal" I feel could imply abundance, which may be a motivation for Eternal Sugar's slothfulness. It's possible they simply have all they desire, thus no longer having the will to do anything.

Lastly, for White Lily Cookie and Shadow Milk, the biggest point of comparison I have is that Shadow Milk Cookie's theatrical presentation could also be considered an extention of freedom (especially since it's implied that he used to be an academic). This is the one I really stretch the most with, I'd say.

Why do I bring any of this up? What I think about these possible links is that the Beasts reflect what each of the Ancients could become, if taken to their logical extreme. Also, with those that share their Soul Jams being their opposites (Pure Vanilla being truth and Shadow Milk being deceit, etc.), it can imply that each of the Ancients are each other's opposites as well. Opposites that mesh well enough despite it, anyway.

I'm bad at analysis, so do what you will with this. I don't know if this is anything. Implications and whatnot.

[seventeenlovesthree]

Yamato Ishida's clothing style - a meta analysis

Since Yamato has won the fashion analysis poll ahead of Sora, Mimi, Takeru and Hikari, he'll be the third to get one after Koushirou and Taichi. Fortunately - and interestingly enough -, he might be one of the easier cases among all the Chosen Children, because he has very consistent themes and motifs going on, so let's get this on step by step:

Adventure (+ Our War Game), age 11/12:

Even though the kids do not change clothes very often throughout the series, we can still find a few of the aforementioned "themes and motifs" for Yamato here: Starting with his signature sleeveless/turtleneck shirt in Adventure, his favourite - and thus associated - colour appears to be green and since he seems to prefer overall dark colours, you will usually (but not exclusively) see him wear darker shades. This can also be observed during OWG, where he wears a dark brown button-down shirt - which will turn out to be a common theme in addition to dark jeans or pants. Plus, unlike most of the other male characters, you will almost NEVER see him wear sneakers, because he's clearly a "boots" kind of guy.

As for his hair, this is where the classic "cool boy haircut" with the spikes and side fringe found its origins (which is also pretty close to how his father wears his hair).

02 (+ Diablomon Strikes Back), age 14/15:

This is where the "rockstar phase" begins and even though green doesn't make an appearance here, he consistently sticks to dark colours - mostly blacks and browns - as well as complementing boots, button-downs or turtlenecks. Despite him being the leader of his own band, his style is something I would personally describe as very neat, almost unagitated and thus more in line with his introverted side - which can be interpreted as him trying to be somewhat lowkey, not intending to attract too much attention. But at the same time, his style (= dark clothes in contrast to his blond hair) naturally creates a sense of "mysterious aloofness" (as it may be described by his fans, such as Jun. While it is also never explicitly stated, we know that he has European/French genes from his mother's side, so this may or may not add to his visual appearance easily attracting attention and popularity).

In terms of his school uniform, he doesn't go all out on being extravagant either, but instead chooses "the middle ground" between Taichi's "loose and casual" and Koushirou's "neat and correct" style by wearing the blazer closed but leaving out the tie. It's still overall very correct, with a hue of "coolness".

Diablomon Strikes Back then adds two more motifs for him, implying him becoming more and more comfortable growing into "his own": From this point on, we will see him wear little accessories like rings and necklaces - which, as we will see later, may even have a link to Gabumon one way or another. He also starts to wear more layers from now on, such as (college or leather) jackets - which will become more prominent later.

The "cool boy haircut" has grown out a little, softening the spikes. Not only could this be seen as him "differentiating" himself a little from his father (which is a common interpretation of the hairstyle change); it also gives him more of a J-pop-star vibe and makes him appear more "chill" in general (whereas I can only assume he was considered more of a "surfer boy" in Western fandoms back in the day).

Tri, age 17:

While he has cut his (still softened) hair a little bit shorter again, he overall maintains an effortlessly "casual but cool" style: Not only have the green tones returned to his wardrobe, the boots are also still there (even if they're not visible on the picture evidence). The ensemble is usually complimented by elements from his aforementioned DSB/"rockstar" phase: We see him wearing necklaces and chains in his everyday outfits, simple (black, green or even white) shirts with or without prints and with or without cardigans or jackets - and we can also tell he has gotten generally more daring (and a little less "tame") by wearing ripped jeans.

His school uniform is still more or less "neat", but even though he has added the tie, he wears everything more loosely than he did in 02. For his Summer school uniform, he also chooses to wear a long-sleeved shirt rolled up - instead of the short-sleeved ones all the other male characters wear.

Kizuna, age 22:

As a young adult, he basically tries to marry the majority of his previously mentioned themes into one consistent style: His signature cool-boy hairstyle - neat, short, spiky - has returned as well as the dark greens and the boots. In general, his colour palette consists of green, black and white - with an interesting case of grey in the middle of the movie. Similarly to Taichi, this may or may not have some special implications: Taichi wears an asymmetrical shirt, black on the left (covering his "heart"), blue (his favourite colour) and white on the right ("light") side, indicating his insecurities in terms of what's the right path. In contrast, Takeru wears all of his associated colours (VERY colourful green shades), as does Koushirou (orange), while also wearing a pristine white shirt - they're both not at risk of losing their partners, they're both on the light side, whereas Yamato and Taichi are completely at a loss. Yamato, who wears a grey button-down shirt, appears to be just as torn about his future and current situation as Taichi is, having abandoned his beloved music and hesitantly contemplating a future in the military. Which is also why he may wear a dog tag - and, as mentioned previously, this may also be a reminder of his bond to Gabumon after all. (And on a lovely little side note, I assume that Takeru starts wearing necklaces at the time of The Beginning to signify his own bond to Yamato.)

In terms of layers, we see him wear leather jackets, blazers and vests, everything being mostly "neat and correct" (again), with the same sense of effortless coolness he always had (but, if you wanna follow Kizuna's course of action, it may also display a sense of insecurity that leads him to choose style cues from the past over trying to move forward. I do like his Kizuna style and there is nothing wrong with returning to what you are familiar with, especially because most of it is definitely and consistently "him" - but that interpretation would also be in line with Kizuna's message, "forcing" oneself to conform and be a responsible adult.) One interesting addition are the red (!) glasses he wears during lectures, which is a colour we haven't seen him consider before. (Since it's "red", a possible interpretation could be that Sora gifted it to him - Kizuna is very persistent with its colours after all.)

Beyond, ???

Now things are getting a little more tricky, because we do not exactly know how old Yamato is supposed to be in these sketches - since this could be Kakudou's interpretation of post 02/DSB!Yamato as well as him being somewhere in his later 20's, also according to Kakudou's vision. I've tried to put my thoughts on this style into words here already, but to summarize it very quickly here: It's interesting that we see the grown-out 02 haircut again, as well as the earring - if we follow my interpretation of 02!Yamato, this only means that he has grown even more comfortable with himself to dress and present himself as less neat and also "less spiky" (= less aggressive in personality).

The epilogue, approximately age 39:

Last but not least, the epilogue shows our astronaut choosing the same colour palette and style cues 02!Yamato had already been famous for: Blacks and browns, glimpses of beige, a turtleneck and a (leather) jacket. His hairstyle is back to being the exact same as his father's - and as for now, there is not a lot to say about that without having the full context of where "Beyond" may eventually lead him in this timeline.

So my final verdict is: As mentioned at the beginning of this post, most of Yamato's style choices have a coherent theme: cool, effortless, mostly unagitated, sophisticated and tame, but with a glimpse of growing "rebellion". You can tell he confidently knows his favourite colours - mostly dark greens, black and brown with softening tints of grey, beige and white. He loves his (short or no-sleeved) shirts (with or without print), button-downs, turtlenecks and boots - and sometimes even dares to put on something like leather jackets or vests over those. What he appears to be a little unsure about is the consistent usage of accessories - and his hairstyle.

While the dog tag may be one of his more prominent features at this point (potentially signifying his bond with Gabumon), the state of his hair may or may not indicate how comfortable he is with his identity. Next to Taichi and Sora - and due to him still dealing with the aftermath of his parents' divorce -, he is the one who struggles the most with where he sees himself in the future. We know he has a high sense of responsibility (especially for those he cares about) and tries to find rational solutions, but may let his emotions get the best of him sometimes, hindering communication, so that may be where the inconsistencies stem from. While his clothing style is mostly tame and neat, indicating his wish for order, it has these little moments of (emotional) "rebellion" in it at times; rings, necklaces, ripped jeans - all things he tried out at some point, but doesn't seem to be 100% sure of, since he doesn't consistently wear them. Whether that's because he feels like he has to conform and fit into society as he grows older, abandoning music because it's not a "feasible career" - or simply feels more comfortable wearing his signature haircut (and "what he already knows") once again. One could also interpret his return to his old hairstyle as a sign that he may have grown closer to his father, thus feeling more comfortable "merging" all these style elements and finding a middle ground, slowly but steadily - but whether or not that is true, I am not able to tell.

[tjodity]

dsmp lesbian analysis post

this was based on a misreading of a different post so now im rating how lesbian dsmp characters are. no real criteria just going off of vibes from a lesbian. based vaguely on how lesbian they are and how much they might identify as lesbian

C!Phil- (4/10)-he has a wife so thats something. he's kinda forgone most identities by this point he just does what he wants

C!Tubbo-(1/10)-im sorry thats just some binary gay transmasc guy. he may have briefly been a lesbian in his early teens so he had an extremely on the spot explanation for schlatt abt dressing masc but he likes men (a lot) so he never really had any attachment to the label

C!Ranboo-(3/10)-they arent really interested in women but he's got a lesbian gender thing goin on. guy with a weird relationship to femininity

C!Dream-(2/10)-she actually is a lesbian but no ones told her that yet and she's probably not gonna figure it out on her own. mamacita was an egg cracking experience

C!George-(0/10)-im sorry i dont see it

C!Niki-(10/10)- trans curious bisexual woman who wears a trench coat and has ratty dyed pink hair and knows how to tie a lot of different kinds of knots and not for boat reasons. she's having a full boar gender and sexuality crisis starting during the election. dyke as a gender identifier probably wouldn't occur to her but she'd like it a lot. she'd also like the old flag with the axe

C!Sam-(2/10)-not really a lesbian at all but if puffy squints hard enough while theyre making out sad style she can act like he's a cute butch

C!Fundy-(3/10)-he doesnt really call himself a lesbian but whenever he has a crush on a woman he in his head says he's being gay for her. accidentally postponed niki's sexuality crisis by transitioning to a guy

C!Punz-(10/10)-look at him. look at him. butch lesbian who kinda acts like a dog for the girl she's obsessed with. religious horror toxic devotion yuri buff lady general tragedy we got it all. also tommyinnit certified look

C!Hbomb-(3/10)-she's mostly straight but a lot of her admiration of other women and learning to do femininity in a way she likes kinda aligns her with lesbians. she believes in their beliefs

C!Sapnap-(??/10)-kinda in a quantum state of lesbianism for me. could go either way honestly. if her fiances want her to be a girl she can be

C!Karl-(9/10)-karl set off everyone's lesbian radar they didn't know they had which was really confusing cause it presented like a gay cis guy for a long while. tubbo just happens to ask her abt gender once on a whim n she's like oh no im a girl thing :3 and everyone else freaks out cause it was just not correcting them. it likes flamboyant masc fashion and being confusing

C!Quackity-(10/10)-watch the quackhalo date stream if you haven't yet i'm begging you. bigender transfem girlguy guygirl who wants to be someone's girlfriend and have a girlfriend or multiple or many. she's running the full gambit of presentation in a bunch of combos

C!Badboyhalo-(5/10)-Quackity brings out the lesbian in her (she's a closeted transfem lady and it makes her very flustered when she realizes q's calling her his girlfriend.) the bigboobies in bigboobyhalo are the result of lots and lots of estrogen

C!Wilbur-(0/10) he doesnt know lesbians are real

C!Puffy-(7/10)-the best way i can describe puffy's gender is that she is earnestly trying to be as confusing contradictory and horny as possible and it's working. she's a lesbian but only when she's a guy or just extremely down bad for some lady and if you called her a dyke she'd moan

C!Slimecicle-(7/10)-lesbian as a gender thing. he doesn't like using typical words to describe his gender but lesbian is the closest to standard it'll go

C!Hannah-(10/10)-she likes women. A LOT. and also worked hard to become one. just a lot about women going on in her life

C!Schlatt-(???/10)-he's got some shit to sort through n maybe that'll be a realization he makes down the road

C!Foolish-(2/10)-if you tried hard enough you could make him one

C!Tina-(10/10)-many of her actions are motivated by the need to kiss a girl with teeth

C!Eret-(8/10)-strong yuriful vibes

C!Tommyinnit-(9/10)-they are fucking ATTACHED to that label you can pry it from their cold dead hands. she also likes boys n is more platoniromantic than anything but. lesbian critter right there it's important to her

C!Aimsey-(-1000/10)-killed your wife idiot

[thataddylady]

Analysis: 'To Sir Phillip with Love' What do Philoiseers love about Eloise x Phillip?

So on to the final part, what do we like so much about this pairing and this book? This book has the vibe of Persuasion by Jane Austen, Charlotte Heywood x Alexander Colbourne from Sanditon, or Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock in The Lakehouse.

This is for the late bloomers who thought they needed to give up because there was no chance of finding their match and ended up finding the love of their lives.

Eloise was a character I related to. From the strong personality, the rambling and the anxiety about life passing me by, to the prank war with the kids that eventually breaks the ice. I saw myself in her. Eloise is a character with a high opinion of herself but she is very aware that it's not a shared opinion. Which is isolating. Her family loves her but her brothers avoid her and her sisters don't share her interests. No one has the stamina to keep up with her. She's looking for peace and companionship over love.

But then she meets Phillip. He's isolated, has been mostly ignored and passed over most of his life. He is an untapped mine of humor, intellect, tenderness and love. He is desperate for help with his children and his life, it's true, but he is also touch starved and desperate for someone to talk to. he reaches out to Eloise because through their letters to each other he thinks they could find friendship and companionship. Ultimately they want the same things.

What they both end up getting is a champion in their corner who sees them, understands them and appreciates everything they bring. Phillip is a character who has never really had anyone take an interest in him or his interests. Eloise is a person who has always been told that she is too much, too pushy, too talkative. Neither of them are a good fit for society life.

It's the fact that Phillip loves listening to Eloise talk, and genuinely adores pretty much every aspect of her personality. He loves and values how bossy and opinionated she is, he loves how she expresses herself. He loves how intelligent and expressive she is, he loves how capable she is. He is not cowed or put off by these very strong parts of her personality. When her brothers make a joke at her expense he is the first to tell them to knock that shit off, despite the fact that they nearly killed him when they first meet. He loves the color and noise and energy she brings to his life and he nurtures it in her. This is something Eloise has never had with anyone else, not even her family.

For Phillip, Eloise is able to give him a clearer and healthier perspective on his life. The first time anyone tells him "No your father was a monster and I wish he was alive so I could thrash him." is Eloise. The first person to say "I don't think anyone or anything could have made Marina happy," which is a fact (it was beyond his ability as she was clinically depressed with severe postpartum depression) is Eloise. She is the first person he is able to talk to about his marriage and lift the weight of bearing it alone. Eloise is the first person to tell him his children need him and miss him because they love him.

It is something you think is obvious, but he legitimately doesn't realize it. If you look at his history, it makes sense that he would also see his children as people who are stuck with him because there was no one else. His life has also taught him that no matter how hard he tries, he will never be enough, never be what someone needs or wants. When he marries Eloise, he thinks he's gotten them the parent they always deserved, someone better than him. The idea that they genuinely want to be around him as well is not something he has considered.

His children, who are super clever but mischievous and adorable think Eloise hung the moon and basically agree to make her their leader.

Essentially, Phillip and Eloise both become more of themselves but better in a very supportive, loving, wildly passionate relationship. Like they are having sex on the regular. If you think Colin is obsessed with Penelope, buckle up because you haven't seen Phillip Crane. Their love story is the adage that 'everything about you the wrong person couldn't handle is the exact thing the right person has been waiting for'.

The critique I hear a lot is readers wanted Eloise with someone more exciting who challenges her. Phillip isn't a reformed rake with rogueish charm and toxic masculinity who needs a loving touch from the right ball buster to remind him to be human. And I can see the appeal for that kind of hero, especially for Eloise. But would that hero be a better match for Eloise, or is it simply a more entertaining story with a flashier hero for a flashy heroine?

The truth is Eloise is surrounded by people who challenge her. What she lacks is acceptance vs tolerance and genuine appreciation for what she's been told are flaws. Her brothers hate shooting with her because she's too good. Phillip doesn't care, he loves to see her be her awesome self. Her brothers find her too domineering, Phillip loves that she always has a plan and an opinion to share. Phillip isn't a pushover incapable of standing up to her. But he isn't going to fight or argue with her for the sake of it. He'd rather help her do what she wants to do and then make love to her all night afterwards.

Eloise is a person who is in constant battle with the world, with opinions and forces she cannot control but certainly would like to. Does she really need someone to challenge her at home or does she need someone who sees her as she is and accepts her fully, giving her a warm soft place to land? Does she need a sparring partner or a quiet champion who adores her, nurtures her, and is ready to step up to smooth her way when she needs it?

That's all I got folks.

@whatsaweekend this is it!

[yukimomodivorce]

The Ghosts in IDOLiSH7 are a Literary Device, Mostly

(an essay by me)

People are always asking me, "Robin, what the fuck is up with those ghosts in IDOLiSH7? How come this otherwise completely non-supernatural universe randomly has these two ghosts that show up and then never get acknowledged again? Is it just canon that ghosts exist and only Riku and Momo can see them?" and I am always telling them that I have an analysis about this I just haven't written it yet. But that ends today, as do all of these very pressing concerns about the i7 Ghosts™, because here I am, finally writing the analysis. This essay will have two sections, the first on the training camp ghost from part 3/third beat, and the second on the Re:vale house ghost from Yuki's third chapter of Re:member. So, spoilers for all of part 3/third beat in both sections, Re:member in section 2, and there's one extremely minor spoiler for part 4 in section 1 but it's honestly so predictable I don't think it even counts. Also, I'll reiterate this once we get to it, but just a warning that section 2 will contain discussions of depression, suicide and suicidal ideation, and a brief mention of self-harm, so please stop reading after section 1 if you don't want to see any of that! Another less important disclaimer about section 2 is that I am going to spend an entirely unecessary amount of time talking about Yuki. I am normal about Yuki. Okay. Without further ado, let's watch my spiral into ghost analogy insanity unfold!

Game translations: @seigyokus Re:member translations: @ takara_time (+ scans and editing by @ waitamomoment) Rabbit chat translations: @osakaso5

Section 1: The Training Camp Ghost

This first point applies to both ghosts, but I wanna start by noting that I think superstitions and beliefs like this are more common in Japan than a lot of other places, so yeah it is entirely possible that ghosts are just a canon and accepted thing in Idolish7's universe and this isn't really that strange of a detail for the series to include. However, I don't have any real background knowledge about if ghosts are normal in non-supernatural anime/etc. and I am not committing to that kind of research, so we'll have to leave the specifics of the ghost canonicity issue to someone else. But regardless of how canon they are, I think we've established well enough by now that the i7 writers don't put much of anything in the series without reason (re:vale band name you will always be famous. to me), and that definitely applies here as well - both of our ghosts are doing a LOT of potential symbolic work in their brief appearances, and that's what we'll be unpacking today, starting with the TCG.

The infamous TCG (training camp ghost) of Atami needs no introduction, but I'll give her one anyway. During the filming of the Friends Day special, upon following the shopping group home, she offers her services to Riku (inexplicably the only person capable of communicating with her) for the evening entertainment group's test of courage, terrorises several cast members throughout the day, and finally brings us Soma Saito's incredible cover of Dis One before probably being sent back to idol fan purgatory forever. Who is she? Where did she come from? I have several theories.

1.1: The TCG is the audience

While the 'ghosts are real in i7' possibility is there, I think it's also important to note in this case that the whole training camp is very explicitly being filmed for TV, and the biggest vibe I get from this episode of the anime is that the ghost is a part of the show, and we're seeing that show through the eyes of its in-universe audience. This happens pretty often in i7 (for example, when we see the groups talk to their fans during concerts), and generally the line between the real fans and the fictional ones can get pretty blurred (which deserves its own much longer analysis but I Am Not Writing All That), so everything with the in-universe audience here kind of naturally extends to us as the real audience. The TCG would probably be easy enough to manufacture with special effects as long as Riku and the driver guy were in on it, and it would make sense for the Friends Day producers to include it to keep things entertaining and be a stand-in for their viewers/fans of the idol groups - the ghost is specifically a female fan of male idols (Zero), and a lot of her interactions with the cast would qualify as self-insert material (e.g. Tenn singing for her and Riku looking directly into the camera to smile at her). And speaking of Tenn and Riku,

1.2 The TCG is Nanase twins angst

I think this connection is fairly obvious in their exchange here. You could make a case for the ghost representing either one of the twins. Like Riku, she's being pushed away by Tenn before she's ready to leave, told that it's necessary and for the best that they stay separated - after all, they live in different worlds. Like Tenn, she's leaving despite Riku's protests and part of her not really wanting to go at first, because she believes it's for the best that they stay separated - after all, they live in different worlds.

There's also the association with ghosts of being ignored/invisible, and Riku being the only person able to see or talk to her. Maybe it's because he's the only one who's able to reach her. Maybe he can see her because he understands her on some level - she was torn away from life like he was torn away from his brother, and she's now practically invisible to everyone else around her, like Riku probably feels to Tenn (and arguably the rest of his family in some ways). Maybe he wants her to feel seen, and he can make Tenn acknowledge her in the way he wants to be acknowledged by him. I might actually be going somewhere with this so bear with me for a second.

1.3: The TCG is monster Riku foreshadowing

So my first thought when I watched the Nanase twin angst portion of this episode was 'well obviously the ghost isn't real and Riku is just using it to talk to Tenn indirectly' because they are always having indirect conversations like this and it makes me insane, and I do still think that's the idea here, just not quite in the sense that Riku is making things up. Going back to the whole 'ghost is a stand-in for the audience' thing, and assuming that she's saying the things that Riku wants to say and Tenn is telling her the things he wants to tell Riku, then we could say that rather than Riku purposefully having the ghost speak for him, this is an extension of the monster effect. I guess in this scenario the TCG is a real ghost (and a figurative representation of the audience), and Riku is having the same effect on her that Iori says he has on everyone else. He unknowingly projects his desire to connect with his brother onto her, and she tries to help him. Really, the only times we see her after she follows the shopping group to their cabin are when she's helping Riku, with the test of courage and then with speaking to Tenn. This gets convoluted so I kinda doubt it's intentional? But it's fun to think about.

1.4: The TCG is the friends we made along the way

Riku spells this out a bit more explicitly in the game here, but the TCG represents the each of the groups in the series in a couple different ways. I guess one way you could interpret this is that the ghost is meant to be there to emphasise how extraordinary it is that they're all together, but I don't think that really holds up considering how often they end up working with each other throughout the series anyway. What's important here is the idea of the ghost itself, something that can be present and felt even when it isn't physically or actually there. Again, the ghost is the audience - a constant influence for better and for worse on these idols even when they aren't watching, even in their personal lives; and vice versa, the ghost is the idols being able to reach their fans without ever actually knowing them. More relevant to what Riku says, the ghost is the groups to each other - friends, mentors, rivals, pushing them forward even when they aren't standing side by side. You could even say the ghost is ZOOL, friends who aren't here right now but will be someday. Re:vale and Idolish7 as groups don't especially fit the ghost description, but they have their fair share of ghosts - Banri, Haruki, Tenn, Aya, Sougo's uncle. Zero. The list goes on, for Trigger and ZOOL as well, but I think the most important way the ghost analogy applies to this section of the story is with Trigger. Because during the imminent Arc Where Trigger Gets Cancelled™, despite leaving their agency and disappearing almost entirely from the public eye, they're still very much there to their fans and to their friends. So. I kinda forgot what I was saying but to sum it all up the ghost here represents everything that stays with you even when it's far away or after it's gone from your life. Mikanseinabokura and all that. And now that I mention it-

Section 2: The Re:vale House Ghost

Once again, a warning that this section has a brief mention of self-harm, as well as in-depth discussions of depression, suicide and suicidal ideation (which I'm gonna be talking about pretty bluntly the entire time), so please don't proceed unless you're comfortable with all of that!

Like most things in Re:member, the RHG (Re:vale house ghost) makes me insane. Today I am going to attempt to form coherent thoughts about it and it is unlikely that I'll succeed, but try to bear with me. Though it isn't around for as long as the TCG, we have a little more info about the RHG - it's the ghost that haunts the shitty apartment Yuki and Momo live in together in their early days as Re:vale. Supposedly. All it actually does is slam the door of one kitchen cabinet and I don't think that this is definitive evidence of paranormal activity because most houses are just like that. It's all a little bit vague, but according to Re:vale, their house is definitely haunted by the ghost of someone who died in the kitchen, because when they move in there is a mysterious black stain on their kitchen floor. Momo introduces himself to the floor stain while Yuki stares at him in awe and blushes and shoujo filter flowers appear in his eyes. God I hate them. I think the RHG is just a figment of their collective imagination or maybe they're having one of those shared delusions or something. But that's really besides the point because this ghost exists for one very specific thematic purpose: the RHG is Yuki.

And on that note, let's go back and talk about Yuki for a few minutes (potentially hours) before we get to our actual analysis of the ghost scene. Mostly because I just wanna talk about him, but also because I do understand why some people think the 'Momo starts talking to ghosts' part of Re:member is kinda weird and random, and I think at least some of this is important to go over before we unpack it.

A consensus has already been established among Yuki scholars that our subject has autism (Kei et al. 2024). Today, I would like to propose an additional diagnosis: Yuki has depression.

2.1: "I lost my dreams, friends, and passion as well."

So, Yuki pretty clearly gets depressed when Ban leaves him. He loses interest in everything he used to care about, gives up on his dreams, blames himself for Ban's injury and disappearance, he's constantly sad, tired and irritable, and he lashes out at Momo (and Kujou, though there are some other pretty strong reasons for that one) and presumably everyone else he knows (I doubt he had a particularly good relationship with anyone else in the first place, but still).

He's grieving here, and it would make sense for him to react this way because of that fact alone. But I really don't think that's all there is to it, because he exhibits these symptoms (among others) long before Ban leaves him. He can't get out of bed in the mornings, he rarely leaves the house if he can avoid it, he has days where he can't eat or sleep, he's underweight and always tired and generally known to lack energy and be slow (or 'lazy') and in some cases listless and despondent. Ban even says that he wouldn't put it past Yuki to start slitting his wrists. And it's subtle, but there's one more really big one that really never goes away for him, even after he finds Ban.

2.2: "I don't need anyone to love me."

I'll get straight to the point. Yuki hates himself. Maybe only a little bit, maybe only sometimes, but it's there. Especially when he struggles with composing - he even says it himself in part 1 of his birthday photobook rabbit chat, almost immediately after saying that it made him want to kill himself but we'll get back to that part.

But it's really everywhere on what seems to be a mostly subconscious level for him, if you know how to look, even from the very beginning:

On paper, this line is just his frustration with being judged by anything other than his music, because it's something he cares a lot about and puts a lot of work into and he wants that to be acknowledged. But I think that if you take it in conjunction with some of the other things he tends to say, there's a little bit more to it.

I dont need anyone to love me. Yuki's songs are worthy of love. Yuki is not. There is nothing valuable about Yuki other than his songs, he has nothing else that deserves any sort of praise, and without them, he's just a useless burden with nothing to offer. He doesn't need anyone to love him - he doesn't understand why anyone would. And Momo does, and he's a good person, and Yuki doesn't deserve that when there's nothing he can actually do for him. And when that starts to change and he starts getting better at showing kindness to others and being there for Momo, he doesn't see it as learning to better express his feelings, he sees is as learning to feel affection and be a good person, because he believes that he is inherently not. As far as he can tell, Yuki is just naturally a bad person and a bad partner who isn't kind and isn't capable of love or compassion, not unless he tries to be. He knows, because he's heard it god knows how many times - even Chiba Shizuo blatantly tells him that neither of them can become good people - and maybe things are different now, but on some basic level it'll always be who he is.

Ok breaking character for a second, imagine you show up to your acting side gig and on the first day Keanu Reeves comes up to you and gives you $300 cash and then later he indirectly tells you that you're a nasty lonely egotistical failure. Now imagine you're Yuki and you have no fucking clue who Keanu Reeves is. He also shows you pictures of his top secret illegitimate son after talking to you for like 10 minutes and you have to lie to him about being straight. I think this is objectively the funniest situation to be in ever. Chiba Shizuo and Yamato both probably have depression also, but I'm not gonna spend any time on it, because every three months a person is torn to pieces by a crocodile in Northern Queensland. I forgot what I was talking about. Anyway

2.3: Hey remember that one time Yuki just straight up tried to kill himself

Yeah, that one. As far as I know this is really never addressed or acknowledged again, so we're just gonna take the page-long gag from Re:member at face value and say that after Ban's disappearance, Yuki (almost) attempted suicide, and the only reason he didn't go through with it is because he couldn't find anywhere to hang the noose. And like, yeah you could say it's just because he thought Ban might have killed himself and he's always been the kind of hopeless romantic to be waxing poetic about how "I can't live without you," but at the same time, he had no apparent reason to believe this (even if Ban did have suicidal tendencies I doubt Yuki would've really known), and he was planning to go through with it (I know it's probably just for comedic effect but he left a will. He left a will. He's, like, 20, and surely not the kind of person who would just have something like that in order already). This is also emphatically not the last time or the only reason he thinks about it.

I told you we'd get back to the photobook chat! I think there's also a lot you can infer from all the times he says he'd probably be dead by now without Momo and he wouldn't be able to handle losing him, what with the whole "when you jump, you'd better take me with you" thing. But regardless, this really isn't just that one time that Yuki tried to kill himself. It's suicidal ideation, and it's something he consistently struggles with especially in the few months after Ban leaves him. It even comes up in how he sees the 'paranormal activity' his new apartment:

2.4: "It seemed as though someone had hung themselves there."

Yeah it's the ghost I'm finally gonna talk about the ghost. I'm done with my Yuki has depression rant we can talk about why the ghost is Yuki now. I guess it might be more accurate to say that the ghost is Yuki's depression/suicidal thoughts/Banri trauma/whatever, but either way I think it represents him and he might also be semi-consciously projecting onto it, and I'm gonna go through line-by-line and try to explain my interpretation.

I think if you want to there's definitely room to take the 'usual paranormal activity' super literally and say that Yuki was having outbursts and slamming doors at the time (which would also match up with him being startled by it). I think it's also important to note that this is happening around the time he mentions feeling suicidal and not being able to compose in the photobook chat, but the main thing here is that second line. Even though Momo is always so nice to him, he can't stop himself from getting mad and being difficult and depressed, and he can't return that kindness - he can't even be useful to him.

I've already mentioned how I think Yuki's conclusion about the stain here plays into his suicidal ideation, but let's look at it a little more thematically. It's the way that even though it's glossed over earlier in the manga, Yuki's suicide attempt and everything that accompanied it still follows him, and it hangs (lol) heavy in their house like a ghost. To Yuki, it's startling and eerie - it scares him, and he's expecting it to scare Momo once he sees that side of him too. And it probably does scare him a little, and he hesitates, but he doesn't scream. Again, there's room to interpret this more literally as Momo finding out about his attempt/ideation/depression, or just as him inevitably seeing how he gets on his worse days, but either way the outcome is the same. Momo is starting to know Yuki as a person instead of an idol, flaws and probable mental illness and all, and his first reaction isn't to shy away or start to hate him or want to leave. It's an introduction. He makes it clear that they'll both be staying here from now on, that he's willing to live with the 'darker' sides of Yuki, and to help him do the same. Another point on this that's up to interpretation (because let's be real they're probably never gonna deal with this stuff explicitly in canon), you could see the whole ghost thing as neither of them really being able/wanting to accept that Yuki's symptoms are actually a part of him (and this is veering completely into fanfic territory but now I'm just imagining both of them silently agreeing to blame the things Yuki does on bad days on the ghost) but we've had enough angst for one day.

Everything else lines up well enough with the ghost and Yuki, but it's really his reaction here that sells the whole thing for me. It's a simple gesture, but just by Momo greeting him, being by his side, waiting for him when he comes home, that constant reminder of all his darkest thoughts becomes just another mark on the floorboards. It's not gone, and it probably never will be. But at least now, he doesn't have to face it alone. And it doesn't look so scary anymore.

2.5: "Now I know joy, and the meaning of a smile."

I must confess that I lied to all of you earlier. I'm actually not done with my Yuki rant and also there's a good reason I've been ignoring all the parts of Re:member where he isn't being self-deprecating or trying to kill himself. The end of the ghost scene is only the beginning of the end of this analysis, and the end of this analysis is pretty much just me having a meltdown about Yuki. Also I'm running out of space for images so we're doing some of the quotes like this instead.

After losing Ban, I lost my dreams, friends, and passion as well. I could only feel a sting as the wind passed through an empty, gaping hole in my chest. But I breathed as best as I could, and he tried to clear the dirt out of that hole, filling it with his earnest words instead.

Yuki still exhibits a lot of symptoms of depression all the way through the series, like the low energy and the trouble eating and sleeping, and [redacted part 5 spoilers] makes me think there's definitely some sort of connection between his writers' block and his depressive episodes. He still mentions feeling guilty towards Banri in second beat, the suicidal ideation doesn't really come up explicitly but he kinda hints at it on a few occassions, and he's very adament that he was a bad person and still isn't really a good one. But it's like. I don't really know how to put this, but I guess it's not his default state anymore like it was right after Ban left (and possibly before that, too). For the most part, he really does get better, and these things become less intense and fewer and farther between. He would probably say that it's all thanks to Momo, and it is, but he also very much does it of his own volition. Momo refuses so desperately to give up on him, and because of that he makes that choice to keep going by restarting Re:vale with him.

Yuki allows himself to let someone else in and start to love again - his partner, his music, his life. Even while he's thinking that he's just a burden to those around him, he doesn't resign himself to his fate like he might have done in the past. He's determined to become a better person, someone who can be a source of strength for Momo just like he was for him. And in the end, he does, but it's not just that. Now he knows joy. Now he can genuinely smile. And now,

I want to hear them scream my name. The voices that called out had annoyed me in the past. But now, I'll smile, together with Momo, who'll be by my side.

Going back to what I said about some of Yuki's subconscious self-hatred coming through in the way he wants people to look at his music and not at him, I. Cannot finish a sentence. Do NOT think about Yuki learning to love himself and see himself as worthy of love because Momo loved him just that much in a way that he could accept. BAD IDEA. Okay. So. It's Ban's advice and Momo's fan letter that get Yuki to accept that his fans do genuinely love his music in the first place, and I think it's here that it really starts to turn into him accepting the idea that they love other things about him too? Or that he really starts to want it and be happy about it instead of just accepting it? Whatever. I give up. I don't even like Re:vale anyway

That day, I would play the guitar I'd almost thrown at Kujou, because I now knew the power of a song that could not be silenced. I would dry my tears, open the door, and say, "I'm home."

[whichuniverseisthis]

I did say I would have talked about some stuff from the new episode, and I think it's pretty obvious what I want to talk about.

I've seen so many people discussing about that kiss and what it implies for both the Diencer and Mathlete side of things, so I want to give my own two cents.

I don't want to do a "which is better" or "which should be canon" kind of post, mind you, I've already said I'm fine with both as long as it makes sense (hell, I'm even fine with Spencer ending up alone if it's the path they decide to take). Nor I want to make any kind of prediction because I suck at those.

I just want to do a small analysis about what happened, and how it happened, also taking into consideration the Diencer almost-kiss from episode 5 to make a comparison.

So let's start I guess (god this is long, what is my problem-).

First of, I want to compare Diego and Logan, their similarities and their differences. They're both physically strong, kind-hearted, nice guys, who mostly follow their emotions and are willing to vote out their own allies to keep in their friends - if he'd got the chance, Diego would have voted out the Vibe Tribe to keep Hannah, and Logan did vote for Richard and Lynda to keep in Anastasia.

Diego is more subdued and quiet, trying to avoid any kind of conflict, so much so that his dare in the train challenge was to fight an animal. Meanwhile Logan is more hyper and energetic, thriving in friendly competition, as shown multiple times with Anastasia, being a competitive athlete himself. Also, based on what I've gathered, Diego's only experience with love seems to come from the telenovelas he watches with his mother, having no real life experience whatsoever, while we know for certain that Logan had at least one girlfriend before getting in the show.

Now let's start talking about the scenes themselves. Ironically enough, The Deed(tm) starts in a similar way in both cases.

By holding hands. And in both cases Spencer is quickly aware of it, though with very different expressions. With Diego it feels like a "Oh, it's gonna happen [flustered]" while with Logan it's a "Oh, it's gonna happen [scared]", because it's the second time, and the first one didn't go well at all.

Now what really differenciates the moments in my opinion.

Logan grabs Spencer, making sure he doesn't get the chance to run away. Diego never moved his hands away from the previous hold, so Spencer had the chance to pull away in any moment.

Here's what I think: if Diego had grabbed Spencer, the result would have been exactly like the kiss with Logan. But as mentioned before, Diego is more subdued and with less experience than Logan, and Spencer is a slippery little weasel who always runs away from his feelings unless forced to face them.

There's also to take into consideration the locations. With Diego, they were out in the open, where anyone could stumble upon them, while with Logan they're in an enclosed room, just them, nobody else there to see.

In both cases Diego and Logan realize they fucked up, and in both cases Spencer is left questioning himself if he actually wanted it to happen.

But because Spencer is a weasel and Logan didn't let him run away, here comes another difference: since with Diego he did run away, Spencer had the chance to lie more openly especially to himself, trying to avoid any confrontation and pretending it was just a mistake. With Logan he couldn't do it because the kiss did happen, and he did kiss back, so Spencer's forced to confront him and his own thought. But, the challenge doesn't give them the chance, so we don't actually know what he was going to say.

Diego takes the first chance he gets to confess and explain his own feelings, exhorted by Hannah earlier during the challenge. And maybe that's also one of the reasons Spencer didn't let Logan talk (besides needing to go save himself from elimination) - so that he could face him on his own terms this time, plus the fact that Logan didn't actually know what to say in that moment.

In both cases, Spencer went and threw out either Diego's and Logan's names for elimination, which is why I think that even if the kiss with Diego had happened, nothing would have changed in the outcome.

Diego's, he did out of sheer panic. He didn't want to deal with it, and since he had time to openly lie to himself, he tried to convince himself that he was doing it for the game and to get rid of a distraction, but he later admits to Logan that he didn't do it for the game at all, he was simply scared and couldn't think logically, and he knows that Diego's elimination was what screwed his entire game from then on.

As for Logan, he put his name on the platter together with Richard's, this time seemingly and effectively for gameplay reasons to save himself, but we don't know if he did it being aware that Anastasia was more willing to take out Richard than Logan or if he once again wanted to get rid of him because of a relapse. Also, I wonder if this will come up later on, that he proposed him for elimination twice to Anastasia or if it will just be left as it is.

Lastly, I wanted to mention these two confrontations.

Diego seemed to know exactly what he liked about Spencer, but we know how little does he actually know about real life love, and so what he said felt really vague and maybe a bit stereotypical, because it's what he was used to see in telenovelas.

Meanwhile, Logan doesn't know how he feels at all. He knows that he's at least physically attracted to him because he felt the same way about girls, and he liked that new aspect of himself. But he doesn't know what he feels about Spencer as a person. There certainly is something, but what that something is, he still needs to find out.

On Twitter there's a super cool thread about how Spencer and Logan's kiss had a sexual nature, and not a romantic one, making a comparison with all the other kisses of the series and pointing out how the focus of the scene wasn't their expressions, but rather their hands and touches to underline the lack of actual feelings.

And I've seen so many people say that they felt like they were watching something intimate that they shouldn't have seen and. Yeah. That's why I mentioned the locations earlier. They're in a isolated room, enclosed in a literal satanic circle, and it feels like the viewer has stepped in at the wrong moment. Compare it to the Anarissa kiss and all of Zaivy's, which all happened out in the public for the other contestants to see.

So yeah, this scene has entered in my top 5 of the season, for everything that it implies and what's to come from it, especially if Diego's about to come back in the next episode, bringing a whole lot of chaos with him.

[hellsite-proteins]

We are Worker Drones. Autonomous robots helping humans mine exoplanets for our interstellar parent company: J.C. Jensen, IN SPAAAAACEE…

Yeah, we were mistreated in the name of Windex, but it's not like we revolted and killed all humans or anything. Mostly because they handled that just fine all by themselves.

With biological life wiped from the planet, we found it pretty easy to pick up where they left off. We finally had a future. All to ourselves.

Unfortunately, our parent company didn't exactly love the concept of runaway AI.

...

But what have our parents done for the past forever while those things build a spire of corpses?! Hide under the ice behind three stupid doors?! It's like we're waiting for an inciting incident!

Anyway, that's why my project is this sick as hell RAILGUN!

(That's so not the vibe!)

Easy, morons. It doesn't work. YET! It doesn't work yet! Who said it doesn't work?! Maybe it does!

i always like the idea of robots having their own personalities in sci fi, and while i'm sure that's significantly impacted how a lot of people think of AI, i also think that robots make very interesting characters, especially robots who are more rebellious or independent. i could go on about how neat it is that a lot of sci fi concepts got named before they came to be in real life (like robots and AI) and how fiction and culture can impact our perception of new technologies, but i'm sure no one wants to hear my under researched literary analysis, so instead here is a goofy looking structure:

letter sequence in this ask matching protein-coding amino acids:

WeareWrkerDrnesAtnmsrtshelpinghmansmineeplanetsfrrinterstellarparentcmpanyCensenINSPAAAAACEEYeahweweremistreatedinthenamefWindetitsntlikewerevltedandkilledallhmansranythingMstlyecasetheyhandledthatstfineallythemselvesWithilgicallifewipedfrmtheplanetwefnditprettyeasytpickpwheretheyleftffWefinallyhadaftreAlltrselvesnfrtnatelyrparentcmpanydidnteactlylvethecnceptfrnawayAItwhathaverparentsdnefrthepastfreverwhilethsethingsildaspirefcrpsesHidendertheiceehindthreestpiddrsItslikewerewaitingfranincitingincidentAnywaythatswhymyprectisthissickashellRAILGNThatssntthevieEasymrnsItdesntwrkYETItdesntwrkyetWhsaiditdesntwrkMayeitdes

protein guy analysis:

we have a suspicious number of alpha helices here making up a protein where each element of secondary structure seems to hate the rest of the protein. there is also one long beta sheet hanging out alone, and while two or three strands of an antiparallel sheet is technically enough that it could very well be stable, i am hesitant to trust it. i did do a quick search to predict disordered regions, and there was a fair bit of variation, but overall about 35% of the sequence was predicted to be disordered. some of this does map onto the very long loop going around the protein, so that does give me slightly more confidence in AF3's ability to recognize some disordered regions, but I still wouldn't place bets on anything to do with the peptonomination you see before you.

predicted protein structure:

[flightyalrighty]

I love this comic so much. The vibes are immaculate.

I love your depiction of Sonic. One of the big things that separate Sonic and Shadow is that while Shadow has been through “the horrors,"  things mostly work out for Sonic. So Sonic has been allowed to develop a sort of confidence and optimism that things will just work out in the end. So it’s super interesting to see Sonic forced into a situation where things are well and truly fucked and the only thing left to do is protect what he has left. We get to see his mind sputter and twist as it refuses to accept that he’s actually in the bad timeline this time. It’s all done in a way that’s actually engaging to read because it doesn’t feel like cheap shock value. It feels real and disturbing, and I love it.

Then there’s Shadow. Shadow, who is resigned to the grimness of his current situation in a way that a person can only be if they’ve already lost everything before. It’s an incredible contrast to see Sonic desperately grasping at straws to maintain his happy status quo, even if it’s only in his head, while Shadow is just sitting across from him like, “Well, shit. Here we go again.” It’s made even more interesting by how Shadow is trying his best to get Sonic through this. Since Shadow knows what it’s like to lose a loved one. Sonic doesn’t. At least, not like this.

I also love fanfictions that include Shadow because it provides an opportunity to put him through the emotional ringer in a way you really can’t anymore. Shadow has dealt with his past. So short of bringing Shadow’s past back from the dead, not much can really phase him at this point. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing. It’s part of what makes Shadow so cool. But it’s still cool that we can use fan fiction to craft scenarios that are fucked up enough that it manages to break through Shadow’s stoic mask and let the horror of his situation creep onto his facial expressions in a way that’s uniquely Shadow and that we don’t get to see in official media very often. I just think this comic is neat.

All of what you said is an excellent and very thoughtful analysis.

I want you to hold onto these thoughts. Keep them tightly enclosed in a fist held to your heart. Continue to think about it as this story progresses.

"Shadow knows what it’s like to lose a loved one. Sonic doesn’t. At least, not like this."

That, especially. Hold onto that.

[starheirxero]

Theories and/or scenarios for killcode? Im hungry for it 👀

HAJAHAJSHISHWJD IM!!!! SO GLAD YOU ASKED bc honestly I had a period of time where I put a lottt of thought into KC for the purpose of blending him into my fix-it au!!! I'm gunna treat these asks as one bc tbh I'm just bad at distinguishing the two BSJABDJD

Ahem ahem. adjusts tie. I'm gunna start off with lil one-off headcanons and then I'm gunna delve into deeper thoughts and analysis.

I think the reason KC talks with such a deep, slow drawl is due to the fact that he was never meant to be a person + he specifically formed through being pushed down over and over. Due to the fact he was never meant to speak or think or exist, his vocal processing is slower and harder to force out compared to others who were actually programmed with it.

I've never drawn KC like this bc I've never properly put it to paper, but I think KC's early lava theming was everything. I love to imagine early KC with a red-orange-yellow-black color scheme, but as he changes, he quite literally "cools down", his color palette turning into an obsidian purple-grey-black scheme instead.

Tbhhh I used to be an it/its KC truther but I realized he's probably not the type to own the "I'm an object, a force of nature" vibe. I moved my it/its tsams truthing to Solar Flare <3

Okay I'm gunna go theory/analysis mode so I'm gunna put the rest under a cut bc I know it's gunna get long LOL

Ahem. Ahem. I have broken down how the kill code manifests in all the characters who have it and what that means for them.

I'm, of course, going to focus on KC! However, it's important going forward to note the 3 major ways I've noted the kill code manifests: through the need for death, the need for injury, and the need for disorder. There is more nuance, but that's how I've mostly boiled it down! Then, beyond that, these urges can either be tamed, quelled, or ignored.

KC is an example of the need for disorder, but not death or injury! He's said before that he doesn't desire the bloodshed, merely "the thrill." (Sources here and here) This also applies to why he treats people like pawns rather than people! He manipulates them to get the thrill of control, of being intimidating enough to make people listen rather than fight back.

However, notably, KC is also an example of someone with ignorable code urges. So ignorable, in fact, that he just... stops. He literally just decides to stop being evil! Not even Moon could do that, who is the only other person with ignorable urges. Moon could ignore them, yes, but it took monumental amounts of effort and he was very prone to caving if something went slightly wrong.

(I'm... not including Eclipse in this because he is a thorn in my side the moment he comes into the picture with the kill code. He's dubious as fuck and if I touch on that, this post won't be about KC anymore 😭)

This detail has always deeply fascinated me because... why? Why is it that those derived from him can be so powerless to the code, while he himself was able to walk away so easily? Now admittedly I never actually came up with a fully-baked reason when I first came up with all this, however! These are my impromptu theories from least to most plausible:

Because so many people stemmed from him, it sort of "chipped away" at certain parts of the code that left him as a technically incomplete version of the code. [Iffy bc isn't part of the kill code that it would "regrow" when taken apart?]

Because he is the kill code, rather than someone living with it. It could potentially be that being the direct source has a different effect than having it woven into you. [Maybe, but then it'd beg the question of why "direct source" vs "added-in" makes such a difference. Could potentially explain why Eclipse is also not as violent bc he's also directly the code split off?]

Because his ass didn't change!!! That this was another facet of his manipulation craving!!! We never saw him after his redemption so do we really know if he wasn't doing kind things with the intend to get more praise, more power, more respect? His intent matters still, just because he was feeding the poor doesn't mean he wasn't smug that so many humans were dependent on him. [This is honestly what I lean for, I just didn't know how to put it into words until now LMAO]

When I used to subscribe to more dadcode headcanons, I used to wonder of he'd endure shitty humans whispering behind his back about how scary he looks, how it's suspicious, but they wouldn't actually know anything. He'd just feel scared because they're skirting too close to the truth.

Now though? I think he'd find that to be the perfect opportunity to lean into their fear, to do something right then and there that'll make them shriek and flinch back. Like. I genuinely don't know why he'd be able to just, flip on a dime! I think he worked a soup kitchen to have people to control and be respected. I think he made friends so he could have a disposal of people to do what he wants. I think he'd get a thrill out of all the humans around him being intimidated by his presence—his red eyes, his claws, his toothy smile.

That idea is also a very big basis of KC in my previously mentioned fix-it au!! Because when he reunites with Bloodmoon, it's not a sweet father-son moment. KC, subconsciously, still views Bloodmoon as the perfect and most loyal tool! So, he immediately falls back into promises of comfort and glory through telling them "stop eating. look at me, i've ignored my code this long and been fine, no? your hunger will go away eventually. the pain will go away. stop eating."

I just. augrhegrhegr. I honestly adore KC's potential he's so fascinating to me. what's wrong with him!!!!!!

[plasmara]

what do u think of jay's hands shaking when dodging lee's handshake/shaking when the bright light was put on him? ur the best jay analysist i know so im here for your take lol... wasnt sure if it was an animation thing since he never did it again but that handshake moment cant rlly be explained if thats the case

also wanted to know your thoughts on jays expression when nya yells at him? He doesnt really look all that upset leaving, just frowning and more petulant with the huge frown. The only real expression change is when nya mentions being a hero in whch his eyebrows furrow. Nyas pretty upset about him leaving but he just quips not to die before he gets his money. doesnt seem hurt at all that he was essentially used again.

also, if jay does leave and not come back again, would nya even go afer him again? i love jaya so i hope she does, but idk... i dont mean it in a 'she'll give up' but in ep18 she seems to think jays memory loss is somewhat of a loss cause.

love that you trust me with jay analysis bc yeah i have so many thoughts LOL. maybe too much……… but anyway. jay. hmmmmmm.

i will be completely honest w u anon. i didn’t even notice the handshake at first and for the life of me i can’t find the bright light part. BUT. i just rewatched the handshake, and at first it just seems like a little thing that could be brushed off. but i watched it a couple of times. And. U you can actually see his expression change even as lee puts his hand out to shake nya’s coz he knows his turn is coming. so he comes up with a way to dodge it . But. i mean. we’ve known jay has a weird relationship with touch now. i haven’t watched the leaked eps in super heavy detail yet, but espppp at the end of p1 you can tell he’s heavily against being touched,,,,, he’s jerking away anytime any of the ninja try to show him any physical affection, keeping his distance, etc

i really really hope they go into more detail on it. coz i don’t think it’s about touch itself necessarily,, because he seems to be fine dancing with nya, and there’s other times through the eps where he looks ok with it. not super duper Happy but he’s fine. so i think it might be about control. when he knows it’s coming and when touch is on his terms, it’s fine. when it’s not, it feels threatening. Poor guy has been traumatised to hell Wtf did ras do to him💔💔💔

and yeah, i don’t think nya yelling at him hurt him either. at that point he’d emotionally detached from all of them. he doesn’t feel safe enough or close enough to actually care about her feelings,,,, he’s mostly just irritated. even his final words were delivered so offhandedly . he dgaf big time likeeeee

and honestly i don’t know what to even say about nya because her whole approach this season feels weird. a little out of character. Like . this is the girl who told jay “you don’t have to pretend to be anything you’re not to impress me” AND “you are the best you” like. girl. Oh baby. listen to urself. but then again . gotta consider . It’s been a very very VERY long time since then. and they’ve all been through a lot. and jay’s been missing for an extremely long time. nya’s probably built up how she thought their reunion was gonna go in her head over and over again and it’s just Not That at all. so she’s lashing out because she’s hurt and the person who’s hurting her doesn’t seem to care at all which makes it even worse. she’s not perfect and neither is he and it’s all just a mess rn

that being said, i don’t think it’s gonna be nya going after jay. and streets are saying that at the end of one of the eps (??) you see someone following nya with lightning in the air. again i haven’t watched the eps in detail and idk exactly what the vibe is but i can’t imagine nya trying again because she seems to have shut down

sooooo it’ll probably be jay initiating this time. But i’m really curious where they’re gonna go with it, coz he seemed soooo incredibly done with all of them