#wordy character nonsense

[ensignsenna]

Oh no, you guys, it's Cavendish

Hold on to your hats everyone. Look who came up next:

So this is going to be a long one. You have been warned. :D

You know that thing where characters which have a complex personality but one or two very strong character quirks sometimes get boiled down to basically just those quirks? I rarely read much Cavendish stuff because it feels like he's hit with this harder than most characters in One Piece.

It's easy to see why. Boy is that self-obsessed pretty-boy side of him VERY prominent. It is a very funny bit most of the time and I get how it's the most memorable part of the guy's character. The assuming people are fans. The apparent obsession with beauty and appearances.

It's good.

But personally, I love his whole European (and especially British/Arthurian) schtick. More than being a vainglorious dude, Cavendish feels to me like a take on the White Knight archtype from mythology. He literally rides in on a white horse, hails from a kingdom whose name is obviously  French, has a main motif of roses which are tied in with both British heraldry and the whole concept of courtly love (which also fits, in that women around him are just Catching Feelings every time he walks past, but he never actually does anything more than pay lip service to it and occasionally sign autographs or do favors, as with Luffy). He wields a weapon from a French epic. I mean, come on ... one of his attacks is literally Round Table.

I tend to think of him like the One Piece equivalent of like ... Galahad, the "perfect knight." IIRC Galahad was also sent away from his home, though as a baby and not because all the ladies wanted him to put a ring on it. He rode into Camelot and was like immediate the best knight, good and pure and strong and capable of actually finding the Holy Grail and everybody stood up and clapped, etc.

So let's imagine that's Cavendish -- the "perfect knight" -- but he's not in a grand pseudo-historical epic. He's in One Piece. And what would happen if a perfect knight were being told all the time in a world like One Piece how great he is? He'd absolutely get a hilariously inflated ego. Trying to stay humble in the face of names like  the Genius Swordsman? The Pirate Prince? Having your renown quickly spread all across the seas? And all that after being so handsome that your kingdom had to literally kick you out to prevent a national crisis? Of course he feels like the star of the whole thing. Everyone's been telling him for years that he is!

So yeah, play up his vanity and his self-obsession, and his occasional short-sightedness. All of those are great and funny. But also remember that he's also a great knight. He had the guts to tell everyone in the arena to STFU and STFD when they were being shits to Rebecca, even though he couldn't have known for sure it wouldn't lose him the adoration he so craves. He gives his word and keeps it, time and again, even in dangerous situations. He put himself in harm's way to protect people, even some who are strangers or who he even has (petty) reason to hate.  He's a strong enough swordsman that he's earned himself an epitaph that make even Marines wary, and while the choreography of Dressrosa is all over the place, he does live up to that epitaph late in the arc.

He's a clown. But he's not just a clown. Even if his clownishness make it easy to forget that sometimes.

(And that's all before we even talk about Hakuba.)

So that's my rant. Have I overthought this? Yes. Is most of this intended? No, probably not. And might I have totally mistook some things? Sure, it's been a while since I was  studying all this stuff in school. But that's what happens when one of your faves is a glorified extra. :D

[ashirisu]

hey, everyone!

My name is Ley (pronounced like "Lee," she/they) and I'm a fiction writer/editor based in the PNW. I haven't done a proper writeblr intro in a while, so I figure the new year is a great time to reintroduce myself to the community!

— about me

An important thing to understand about me and the way I talk about writing is that this stuff is literally my entire life. Even outside of work, I don't think I have a single interest or hobby that doesn't relate back to storytelling in some capacity. I'm an avid media consumer and critic, and will hyperanalyze just about anything that catches my fancy for more than a minute.

I love science fiction and fantasy, and my goal as a writer is to take all the genres I loved growing up and create stories that are a little more diverse, inclusive, and queer.

— about the blog

I came to writeblr mostly to share my work, but also to find an active community where I can get excited with other writers and talk shop. Marketing is obviously a really important part of the publishing industry, but I get tired of having to filter every thought I have about my work and experiences through the lens of aesthetic micro-trends just to put it out in the world. Sometimes I just want to pop off about scenes I'm proud of, you know?

Above all else, I really just want to connect with more writers like myself, ones who got their start in fandom spaces and are working to take their writing from a hobby into a career. I see you, I am you, I love you, let's be friends!

You’ll definitely see me posting and reblogging a lot of stuff that isn’t necessarily related to writing, so be ready for that. My art exists in the context of my personality and the world as a whole, and I simply do not have it in me to maintain a whole separate blog for silly nonsense and memes. Just consider it a way to get to know the writer as well as the writing!

— about my writing

I write a lot, though most of it is disconnected nonsense. Flash fiction and short stories are where I really thrive as a writer. I don't tend to commit to long-form projects, but I have a few projects that I'll occasionally share details about!

I like to describe my style as "earnest and character-forward," which is a fancy way of saying that I like driven protagonists who think too much and are emotional to the point of it being a character flaw.

My goal is to share more of my original writing moving forward, so hopefully you'll get to see all of this for yourself. If I'm totally honest, though, you'll probably see more of me discussing my work than actually writing it.

— about my projects

Here are the things you'll most likely see me posting about:

Agnomen: A sci-fi retelling of Hamlet and Coriolanus, currently in its very preliminary stages. It is literally my Roman Empire, except it's set on a moon of a planet that I'm calling Jupiter as a placeholder (but please note that it isn't actually Jupiter, as Jupiter is a gas giant and therefore a scientifically impossible setting for large sections of the plot).

Alter Ego: A superhero fic in which not-so-mild-mannered reporter Drew Derrick fights for mutant rights and can't seem to get his act together when it comes to keeping the complicated parts of his life separate.

Untitled Fantasy Project: The very first project I ever wrote, and the piece I return to every so often when writing is feeling more like a slog than a fun hobby. I set a lot of one-offs in this world and follow a few key characters around without them having a real plot.

D&D: I write a lot about Baz, my Wild Magic Barbarian. He's a regency noble with a lot of problems, and I care about him very much. I also have various other settings and characters, but he's my most active PC at the moment and therefore gets the most attention.

Short Stories: Sometimes I write these, and sometimes I like them enough to share!

— tag directory

ley rambles: my (often wordy) opinions about things

ley writes: not necessarily my writing, but talking about my writing

my writing: stories, blurbs, and other content I've written

not my writing: reblogs and creative writing that I liked, shared, and sometimes commented on

[amebanworld]

So... what happened with Raditz? I mean...

Cetain thing I find infurating about the (random) DragonBall canon is how imprecisse and "let's forget our own canon" it can be. Sure, Mr. Toriyama never took a big deal about this b/c he just wanted to make something entertaining. But, at the end of the day, it also happens to be contradictory or just unfair. That's the case of Raditz. Let me explain myself... After so many years, Mr. Toriyama finally could acomplish his idea about how saiyans were and what happened with Bardock, Broly, King Vegeta, Freeza, etc... Till then, we only had Toei's movies and OVA's, not Toriayama's. Therefore, we learned about Goku's mother, Gine, as well the dinamic of his parents. Unlike Toei's movies, here we could meet Raditz as a kid. And happens to be the character is something less "saiyan like" we had in mind. Let's check these canon scenes...

We can see Raditz playing with beetles along other younger saiyan children. Sure, this is a Japanese thing and they can be related with it, but in DBall canon, we can see saiyan kids aren't different from human children. And overall, Raditz is NOT evil here, he's just behaving like any other playfull kid.

Now, we also can see Gine holding Raditz's hand, like any other mother would do with really young children. Yes, we know Gine was sweet (at least, for saiyans standars), but we don't see Raditz is infurated or anything because his family.

Also, we have this "Kid manga" about their saiyan tail's training. It's suppused to fit the real manga, but obviously it isn't really canon (an alternative universe, perhaps?) But putting aside the fact is nonsensical Raditz cannot recognize Kakarot, in this manga we see Vegeta uses to menace Raditz for any faliure, and he's afraid of him (as any saiyan would do with the Prince). But, on the other side, we see Goku-Kakarot and Raditz getting along nicely and being supportive with each other. In the end of the story, they wish for a future meeting. On the other hand, we also have the inverse situation, also in canon...

Raditz and Vegetas reaction after learning about the fate of their planet and people. They both acting like little shits. Vegeta says "Duh! I don't care!" and Raditz copying his answer. Sure, we can say Raditz did so because he's coping the prince b/c, well, Vegeta's the prince and Raditz is now going to go in the opposite direction. Anyway, his behaviour here is totally different from the image of him playing with beetles and other kids. And they both are canon!! Anyway, these facts bring up a lot of questions the fandom seem doesn't care about. I mean... At this point, we asume saiyans aren't cold hearted butchers, but people like humans are, but in a different stage of civilitation. Something similar to Mongol horders under Gengis Khan emperor. For them, fighting to survival is something and not showing weakness is something cultural. We knew, in the end, Vegeta did care for his people and wanted revenge, so this answer as kid was just wordiness. But, why we never got good answers? And why the fandom keeps saying Raditz, Nappa (and any other classical saiyans) are a bunch of plain assholes? Afterwards, Brooly happens to be a kind of shy boy and Vegeta's little bro (yeah, another canon break), is a sweetheart. I'd like to see more about the saiyans and how Raditz, being the main character's bro, could get a full arc about his story. It is unfair for this character, as well as the fandom ignoring him (except for another shipping story/ new saiyan from nowhere/ expendable villan).

I don't think Goku, at this point fo "Super" even cares. Son Goku turned into a plain egoistical idiot in later stories after all.

Oh! BTW, the beetle thing seems to be something that runs in the family. Goten also likes to play with insects. Uncle Raditz would aprove this.

[beatcroc]

turns out i have to make an unnecessarily wordy thoughtspost about doombox too bc there is nothing about this character that isn't fucking ridiculous and also really funny and i'm kind of really obsessed with all of it. ordinarily i would just start firing but in this case I need to just. paste his bio and then go through it step by step because every phrase here is absurd when looking at how he's handled along with the other characters and the world as a whole. here we go

first sidenote: i should also add 'nonsensical' to the list of descriptors up there, because this is a fighting game and no doubt has the typical Bad Fighting Game Writing at play that doesn't really hold up when put under scrutiny as i'm about to, but understand that this is something i've come to love about the genre and its typically batshit lore, and it further enhances the experience for me. it's all utter nonsense and its my favorite shit ever.

the biggest thing to me that makes his entire shtick ridiculous is that he was explicitly made to be a weapon. like his express purpose is destruction and/or killing people, and he certainly has the disposition to be doing that. except that he is not doing that. he's out there playing Ball Game, evidently of his own volition.

i feel it is also important to highlight that he was not originally or intentionally a boombox; he just kinda lives in there. his own bio frames it as happenstance, but sonata's dlc skin lore** implies he isn't permanently stuck in there and can kinda just hop out and take control of whatever he wants whenever he wants. there is an entire goddamn tank just sitting there in the background of one of these stages. he is a weapon. there is heavy artillery readily available to him that he could be commanding if he wanted to, but he's not doing that either. he is still a boombox. i think he likes it in there. *there's an argument to be made that maybe he's not powerful enough to control something that large, or maybe just that switching hosts is really tiring or risky. im just saying though there's like a bajillion host devices better suited for A Fucking Weapon than a boombox, but he seems really committed to this for some reason. while im here btw it's fucking terrifying that he apparently can possess thing that are Not tech as well **as a side note from that the specific mention of her boomhammer is interesting. i don't think it's an intentional implication but i enjoy the idea he has an affinity for sound-based devices; i like to think the boombox left an impression on him with its being the initial thing he possessed and got used to

and then there is the berserking. the 'rampaging', as it is otherwise called. not exactly strange on its own given his temperament and designation, but strange for the way it's characterized as only a tendency. it's only that he's prone to rampaging. he rampages often, but not all the time. just often! what is he doing he is not rampaging? getting a custom trimmed jacket with his own logo emblazoned on it? like a nerd? and on the flipside, what exactly do these rampages even entail? because it's apparently not anything destructive or disruptive enough for anyone to care about stopping him under normal circumstances.

like how are you a giant angry "not exactly stable" weapon of a guy and everyone's like 'yeah that's fine. that's our doombox!' toxic's specific wording regarding his getting unfucked postgame is "back to his old raging self", which implies to me there's almost a certain fondness, or at least amusement, at his being like this. i know one of the core themes of lethal league is letting these oddball misfit dudes do their thing and freely be who they are, but like. is doombox sincerely just not a threat for that? like really? dice's interactions also sort of imply that his actually trying to kill someone is really out of the ordinary for him so truly like. db my man what ARE you doing out there. * re: toxic and dice's talking about him; i do also find it amusing that one of his defining traits is just being pissed off all the time. again, not surprising given his purpose/designation as a weapon, but funny in that it's like. how he's KNOWN; in the sense that it is immediately noticeable and a cause for concern for other characters to see he is Not angry. fuckin social barometer of a guy. local angry guy isn't angry, something's wrong.

the "reasons for playing in the league unknown" bit also strikes me as a little odd even though it REALLY shouldn't. i'm like 97% sure it's just written like that to make him seems mysterious and unpredictable and dangerous, but it's a weird thing to call attention to when you consider that...less than half of the other characters' reasons are known? raptor is there trying to get info on his dad, that one's well out there. dust & ashes i think have some kind of implied reason for being there as well but it of course isn't elaborated on, and grid is like trying to impress "the youth" and establish a profile or something. nitro seems like he might not actually be IN the league as an official competitor? it's just helpful for him to know how to ball for the situations he gets into with his investigations. everybody else's "reason" pretty much seems like they're just out there to have fun. and toxic says as much in the story mode intro! the game was developed for people to escape the monotonies of shine city! so to imply doombox has a separate, non-recreational reason for being here is weird. the easiest read on it for me is just that he was drawn to it cause it's intense and destructive but at the same time.... if all he wants is an excuse to wreck shit....why are you competing in a structured sports game with rules and shit my dude. you are a weapon. just go attack people. except that we've established that he doesnt really do that. so. once again. what IS he doing out here

----

aside from the bio though, there's of course random little tidbits of characterization throughout the game itself and they are all also likewise ridiculous.

he refers to himself in third person, which is always an amusing choice for a character in general. it carries with it a certain sense of ego, an awareness of and and pride in one's presence and gravitas. this was mostly just surprising to me bc before i started looking at everything, i'd assumed he was more or less mindless and, yknow, robotic; without much personality/reason for being there beyond being the Biggest Baddest Best At Ball Game Guy doombox is already very imposing, so this is frankly a well-earned sense of pride for him to have.....but it still doubles back to being funny again because, as i've established above, he could stand to be a hell of a lot scarier! but he doesn't seem to notice or care that there are many readily-available options for becoming more powerful and/or establishing himself as unquestionable top dog. so instead he is a boombox. third-person is also often used for characters who are a little dumb, and i think this applies to doombox as well. he is a weapon, and clearly a brute-force-over-precision type of weapon at that, he doesnt need smarts. i think this is also sort of hinted at with his voice lines; where the other characters have some kind of snarky phrase or one-liner for their kill/score voice line, doombox just goes "bye-bye". Which is still appropriately Disrespectful, but it's also very, uh... simple. again i just think there are... more imposing things a guy like him could be saying there, but i guess he hasn't got anything more than fucking. bye-bye.

anyways the ego thing i think is well-echoed by his stupid fucking jacket. none of the other characters have their logo as part of their design and i'm pretty sure the rest of the symbols are just game abstractions and don't exist in-universe, but like. doombox is just going around wearing a jersey with his own damn face on it. ok. to be clear i love his jacket but it is literally so silly for him to have that. imagine being the guy having to custom-fit a fucking boombox. did db pay for it? how? we're getting into unproductive territory here but you could ask a million questions about that jacket and they all have hysterical implications. while im on the topic of designs i'd also like to say that while i don't count any of the other blaze redesigns as "canon" like actual events the characters went through between games [like raptor in particular would have already had to have the stitches since that's his backstory, it's just they weren't a design point before], doombox is in a weird spot since the first game's design for him was very specifically referencing its HUD in a meta way for his flavor and that was pretty much the entire extent of his flavor; while in blaze he and the HUD are very much separate distinct things with their own flavor. there's more to talk about here later but as it pertains to design what im saying is i think he just went out and found a better and cooler boombox to be in between games. and also got a funny jacket. *actually i have no idea if there's even a Timeline here. the gut vibe i had been running on was that blaze happens a couple years after the original, but looking at it now that doesn't seem right. does blaze Replace the timeline of the first game? are there even Events in the first game to count as a timeline? do they run concurrently?

alright anyway the last point here is the 3rd-person thing is even moreso interesting to me though bc i was under the assumption that 'doombox' was something akin to a codename he was given when other people saw this big fucking Thang rampaging through the streets. but seeing as 1. he's definitely aware of it, and 2. not even the damn scientists who made him knew he was in a boombox [as implied in his dlc skin lore], i'm led to believe he came up with the name himself. the fucking tape in his cassette player does just say 'doom' on it so i am choosing to believe that's either where he got the name, or that he put that on there himself.

MOVING on, another really good thing is that he does this

i just think it's funny he's continuing to use the thing as an actual boombox; i feel like that isn't something he necessarily Has to do. obviously he's susceptible to certain quirks and limitations of being a boombox re: mind control tape, but i don't think that means he has to play out its every function. i think he's doing that on purpose and i am filing it under "he likes it in there". hes listening to his jams.

also on a similar note,

this is also not important and i realize it's mostly just a quirky videogamey way to get around saying the robot kinda character is "asleep", but i do enjoy the implication that shine city's biggest terror is like out there running on 4 D-cells.

also i'm making this guy out to be a city street menace, and the vibe i had assumed for him before was like, a random encounter in the back alleys that you super do not want to run into; but his associated stage/hangout seems to be the desert/scrapyard? which i don't really have anything interesting to say to that, but it's definitely a different vibe for his character if he typically hangs out in more desolate areas.

---

i think maybe the most baffling thing doombox has going on is the apparent "rivalry" with dice. this is also bizzare from dice's side of things. what the fuck does it even mean to be "rivals" with doombox? what are they competing for? what kind of things does dice get up to that doombox would even give a shit about in the first place, let alone to be considered a rival in? i mean, like, the league, probably, but why dice specifically, out of everyone? would doombox's league rival not just be whoever's the [second] strongest there? i believe dice when he says they're evenly-matched, but there isn't really anything that implies dice is of particularly high prestige within the league so it feels like he shouldn't hold much interest as a target. to be fair dice doesn't seem like the type that would care about prestige, but again, if he's not out there flaunting his shit or trying to claim he's the best or whatever, why does db care? this would be a lot easier to understand if it was a one-sided thing on doombox's part like okay maybe dice pissed him off one day and he's still mad about it. whatever. that's the vibe they go for in story mode, but then there's dice's dlc skin description, which seems to run entirely counter to that and has dice as the aggressor:

when deprived of his usual sense and restraint, dice's first thought is I Gotta Go Fuckin Kill Doombox? even if he's over it under normal circumstances, it's clear both of them have some deeper-rooted beef in this exchange. there is yet another layer to this in that doombox is, weirdly enough, not really shown to be the kind of guy that's interested in revenge. again, going back to his own dlc description, he- and i quote- "couldn't care less" about the guys who made him capturing him and chaining him up. his only interest there is breaking out and getting back to doing his thing. if you want to be really generous, you could also read this vibe from the story mode epilogue: doombox was not the one hunting down the safety league, that was nitro. doombox was simply, as stated before "back to his old raging self". both of these to say, he simply does not seem to give a shit about people who have directly wronged him and only wants to Do His Thing. so. once again. what the fuck is going on with dice that they both have lasting beef here. i truly cannot fathom what either of them did to be so mad specifically at eachother. this rivalry is something they reference a LOT too like it's a big deal in-universe, or something otherwise really important to portray. like

lore so strong you gotta put it on an achievement!!!!! really!!!!! and there are no details whatsoever about this????? * while i'm here i'd just like to say have more questions about dice than fucking anything else in this game. sadly there's practically nothing to intuit from the game about any of his situations so i don't have much for coherent thoughts to post on him, but my god. what the fuck, dice. this rivalry is arguably the single strangest thing doombox has going on but it doesn't even break top 5 weird things about dice.

anyways, the final section and MOST interesting thing to me in all this is that, coming out of the first game, i was really under the impression that doombox is just the arbitrary final boss monster you gotta kill; no real purpose or personality his own to speak of, and most importantly just synonymous with the game itself and its aesthetics re: mirroring the HUD design. he certainly still holds the role of big scary final boss monster in blaze too, but blaze 1. has him much more fleshed-out as his own Guy, and more importantly, 2. doesn't really consider him a Problem like your typical big angry final boss monster. or at least not moreso than anything else going on in the game. he's not a threat to be eliminated, he's respected as a character and as a competitor in the league; and more than that he just seems to be... liked? as in, liked by other people in-universe? and he's liked enough that they'll readily help him out so he can keep doing his thing? i do think latch fixed him up postgame mostly bc he felt bad about being the one responsible for getting db brainwashed in the first place but like. the game could have just as easily gone "and then doombox was defeated yay" and left it at that. instead, they seem to have a vested interest in keeping him around. most transparently this is likely just a "we can't get rid of any of the playable characters or else story mode would be noncanon", BUT the point of this post is trying to read cohesive narrative sense into places there probably isn't any, and my read here is that doombox is a sort of inadvertent guardian of the league. for 1, he does still very much embody a lot of what the game [both The Videogame and the league itself] is about, but more importantly i think his presence is just really good at keeping a lot of the more minor threats at bay. if you try to fuck with the league, you will eventually be squaring off with doombox, most likely having freshly pissed him off in the process, and i can't imagine that goes well for who or whatever is in that situation. there's probably not much that wants to stand up to him by himself, and there's even less that can challenge the league as a whole unit; he's really just a good guy to have on your side like in general when you are running an illegal sports operation. i think at Worst toxic might see him as the league's funny little mascot but realistically i think she has more respect for him than that. either way i don't think he's going to care and it doesn't affect him much regardless. for this, doombox simply gets to keep doing his thing, whatever the fuck that may be. there are certainly still forces beyond his control at play here [as demonstrated in story mode by the safety league], and when these come into play, the league in turn looks out for him and keeps him on top of his game. i'm not sure if he has the, uh.... kind of cognitive ability that he could be grateful for this, but if nothing else, we know he seems to enjoy playing in the league, so he probably at least recognizes that he's not going to meet a lot of resistance in it and/or that it's a good environment to keep doing as he pleases. i don't mean for this all to sound so transactional, but it's hard to say whether he has much charisma in-universe for people to want him around for more "legitimate" reasons. likewise, there's also still a lot up in the air on how like... sapient doombox actually is. whether he can have complex motivations about anything or if he has some concept of "having friends" or if he can experience emotions besides rage; i tend to lean to "no" on those because i am really trying my damndest not to woobify this guy, but ultimately i don't think it matters much; in the end, he and the league are still mutually beneficial for eachother, and they still enjoy having the other around. and i think that's pretty cool :)

[k7l4d4]

K Reviews and Rants: Miraculous Ladybug Season 5! Episode 14

Hello all, today, I review the episode I dislike the most out of Season 5. It isn't the one that upsets me the most, but it is the one I personally dislike the most, both on a moral principle, and a writing principle. I hope I do it justice in outlining how bad it is.

Now, there are a LOT of things I could say about this episode in hindsight, but the long and short of it is that this entire episode doesn't make even the slightest bit of sense in terms of continuity. Trauma is not something you just "get over" by having a revelation about what caused it, not even slightly. More over, the show acting as if Marinette having trauma absolves her of the ethical lines she's crossed in her obsession with Adrien... even ignoring how it tries to retcon Chloe's missing mom being this known thing now doesn't work because the show acting as if people IRL think "Chloe's mom not being around" is why she's the way she is and mocking them for it... does not work.

It just does not WORK, especially not when they have Mylene, one of the characters they had profess the idea that they believed Chloe could grow to become better, as the one to shoot that idea down, all while ignoring how Mylene's situation is NOTHING like Chloe's and I don't mean financially. Mylene is the last character that should be used to criticize Chloe; it's not ABOUT that Chloe's mom wasn't around when she grew up, it's that not only does Mylene have a father who loves her so much he uses a photo of her as a good luck charm he keeps in his hat, she doesn't have to live with the knowledge that her mom is a famous celebrity that she can hear about every time she turns on the news or tries to hear about what is going on in the fashion industry, living with the knowledge that her mother could literally come over whenever she wants... and is CHOOSING not to do so.

Combined with it making a mockery of trauma and PTSD by saying NOW of all times that Marinette was secretly traumatized by a bad prank Chloe and Sabrina pulled on her last school year (not even a full year before the series starts, less then three months), and it's the reason she has such a bad time talking with Adrien, it doesn't work when we know that she has NEVER had those problems when she was with Luka. I don't even like Lukanette (Chloenette fan forever, here), and even I can tell you point blank that they were a couple, had decent chemistry, and had NONE of the baggage she does with Adrien. It's not good writing at all.

With that wordy rant done, onto the review! Please, forgive me for any profanity on my part.

Episode 14: Derision 

And... here's Derision. Sigh... 

Okay, we start off with Marinette answering a call from Adrien, nothing going wrong... and then she starts trembling and her vision goes wonky. ALREADY HATING THIS!! 

Just... THERE IS NO FUCKING REASON FOR THIS TO BE HAPPENING!!! If this is because she's dating someone, WHY DIDN'T THIS HAPPEN WITH LUKA!? The literal episode immediately preceding this one called attention to the fact that they dated, yet THIS was never a part of it!! 

Oh, and THOSE KINDS OF SYMPTOMS DO NOT JUST FUCKING PASS WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU WHAT IS WRONG!! You can certainly FAKE IT, but it's like telling someone you're fine when you're obviously NOT fine; it's an act, not really being okay. 

And the tremors start up the second they bring up she has a date... (Hits head against a wall) Fuck this. Fuck this nonsense. 

...Okay, she's getting those symptoms over a picture of Kim. At the pool. Kim, who she shares classes with. Kim, who she sees BASICALLY EVERY FUCKING DAY. I'm hating this more and more with each passing moment. 

And now the hallucination-esque flashbacks are getting worse... ugh. Just... just so much of this is wrong to me. It makes me feel nauseous watching this. I may not have flashbacks like this, but I DO get trauma impacting one's actions and behavior, and I have HAD minor panic attacks due to people throwing me off balance or pressuring me on something I am not qualified to answer. Seeing THIS is honestly really upsetting, because ALL OF THIS CAME OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE!! EVERYTHING THEY ARE TRYING TO TREAT AS SOME TRAUMATIC EPISODE IS STUFF THEY PULLED OUT OF THEIR ASSES!!! 

...Her needing to be alone. THAT is the one thing I can get behind in this nonsense.

I am currently breathing very, VERY hard to remind myself that Kim is not normally this much of a fucking idiot. I am trying very, VERY hard not to get mad. Kim, from the very beginning of Origins, is a weirdo that has issues with being insensitive, who is overcompetitive and tends to bite off more than he can chew by dragging people into dumb dares that he usually loses anyway. Him treating what amounts TO A FUCKING PANIC ATTACK as "reacting to a prank" is so stupid, so idiotic, I WANT TO FUCKING SCREAM RIGHT NOW!!! Even during Origins, when he honestly CAUSED the problem, he was largely just trying to help in his own dumb way. THIS!? THIS IS HIM BEING AN ASSHOLE!!! 

They just... they had Marinette get Akumatized over a Panic Attack. Well, nearly get Akumatized, BECAUSE WE ALL KNOW IT ISN'T GONNA HAPPEN FOR REAL!! I am just... so much hate right now. SO MUCH HATE. Oh, and this calls a little bit of continuity into suspect because Marinette KNOWS she's Ladybug, so why the hell isn't Hawkmoth starting to pick up on the fact that she knows this and has the Miraculous!? After all, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED WITH LUKA YOU FUCKING HACK WRITERS!!! 

Also, apparently Ondine has known Kim since the time the "prank" took place, so him saying she wouldn't know makes jack all sense. 

My eyebrow is twitching. My brow is literally twitching at my sheer ANGER over this bullshit right now. 

And here comes the character butchering!! Let's see how much this pisses me off, SHALL WE!?

First off: Sabine spots right away that Marinette is trying to avoid going to school, and the dialogue makes it PRETTY DAMN OBVIOUS WHO THE FUCK THEY MEAN in the form of Chloe. They haven't said it yet, but when you phrase it as 'only two weeks left of school with her' IT DOES NOT TAKE A GENIUS TO FIGURE IT OUT!!!! What makes this absolutely fucking STUPID is that Sabine IS A BETTER FUCKING PARENT THAN THIS!!! If she knows that Chloe is bad enough that Marinette would rather avoid going to school than be around her, THEN SHE WOULD EITHER BRING IT UP WITH FACULTY, PULL HER OUT OF SCHOOL, OR JUST DO SOMETHING OTHER THEN TELL HER TO KEEP HER FUCKING CHIN UP!! IT'S NONSENSE LIKE THIS THAT MADE PEOPLE ANGRY AT CALINE IN ZOMBIZOU!!!!

Oh, and let's get into the next part of why this is nonsense to me. First off, what the absolute FUCK happened that made Marinette go from "ugh, it's Chloe, best to ignore her, she's not worth it" to "literally running and hiding and cowering behind doors over Chloe"? THAT IS NOT A NATURAL CHANGE IN BEHAVIOR!! It's Summer Break, not an entire year, there is no realistic reason for their dynamic to change like that!!! 

Okay, Marinette somehow had a bunch of bugs hiding under her books. HOW? If there were any bugs in her locker, they would've been ON THE BOOKS, because textbooks are way too heavy for a significant number of books to be capable of moving around beneath them. If you tried to put her books on top of them, they would just squash them. 

Moving on from the inconsistency I was fixating on to distract myself from RAGE, we get Damocles appearing at just the right time to cause trouble and yelling at Marinette for not being in class apparently for the eighth time in a week. And "good thing an anonymous student warns me when your about to break the rules" WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCKING HELL IS THIS SHIT!? Seriously, an "anonymous tip" every fucking time!? Does this idiot not seem to understand the concept of a fucking SET UP?!? 

...The "anonymous tip" is literally using Chloe's name. This isn't just contrived, THIS IS FUCKING MORONIC!!! 

HOW MUCH OF AN IDIOT IS THIS GUY SUPPOSED TO BE!? 

...And they made Mendeleiev an idiot, dismiss Marinette's distress as "clowning around" I AM GOING TO BURN THIS VIDEO TO THE GROUND!!! I CANNOT STAND THIS SHIT!! 

And they've got Chloe making fun of Juleka's stutter, which she never had in any of the first three seasons. Ugh. 

...Uuuhhh... they had Rose saying Chloe's mother left her... WHEN NONE OF THEIR CLASS EVEN KNEW ABOUT THAT UNTIL SEASON TWO!!! Rose also got threatened by Chloe to, so this is just idiotic.

If this is meant to be an attack on the idea of people using Chloe's missing mom to excuse her behavior, THIS NEVER ONCE OCCURRED ANYWHERE IN THE SERIES PRIOR TO THIS MOMENT UNLESS IT WAS LILA!! Heck, the only person who has EVER unironically attempted to justify something Chloe had done (or rather, hadn't done) was Sabrina on Chloe's behalf by claiming Chloe forgot birthdays a lot because her mom forgot hers all the time... and Chloe got PISSED at her over this because she doesn't like her mom being brought the fuck UP!! And what makes this nonsense so utterly stupid is that EVERYONE seems to know that Chloe is the culprit, and could easily expose her, and they aren't doing so!! I AM PISSED OFF!! I AM ANNOYED!!! I WANT TO WRITE A STRONGLY WORDED LETTER!!! 

Honestly, Kim offering swimming trunks to replace someone's ruined pants is the closest to being in character he’s in this entire episode. 

I am not even going to comment on this show acting as if just one school year ago Chloe ruled the school with an iron fist and could dictate who Marinette could and could not talk to, BECAUSE IT IS UTTER FUCKING NONSENSE!! Chloe did NOT flagrantly break the rules and get away with it due to teachers dismissing her actions as being "wild accusations" she genuinely TRIED to avoid getting caught when she acted out, and she didn't target Marinette in specific more than anyone else!! NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE!!! THIS IS LITERALLY JUST CHARACTER ASSASSINATION!! 

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH THIS NONSENSE ABOUT THERE BEING "NO REST" FOR MARINETTE!! I DO NOT WANT TO HERE THIS BULLSHIT BEING SPOKEN BECAUSE THIS IS SO WILDLY AND SEVERELY OUT OF CHARACTER FOR CHLOE!! SHE DOES NOT GO OUT OF HER WAY TO TORMENT PEOPLE FOR HER AMUSEMENT!! SHE RARELY TORMENTS PEOPLE AT ALL, SHE IS JUST AN OBNOXIOUS BRAT!!! I WANT THIS STUPIDITY TO FUCKING END!!! 

IF IT ISN'T CLEAR!! I AM BEYOND PISSED OFF AT THE MOMENT!!! WHY THE ABSOLUTE FUCK WOULD ANY OF THE TEACHERS BE AFRAID OF A TEENAGE GIRL!?! THEY LITERALLY HAVE ALL THE POWER IN THE DYNAMIC!! WHY ARE THEY TRYING TO MAKE SOCQUELINE INTO THIS BRAVE PROTECTOR FOR MARINETTE WHEN THIS COMPLETELY FUCKING UNDERMINES THE FACT THAT ALYA WAS APPARENTLY THE FIRST ONE TO CONVINCE HER TO STAND UP FOR HERSELF!?? YOU CANNOT FUCKING SAY IT IS BECAUSE IT DIDN'T SINK IN UNTIL NOW OR SOME BULLSHIT LIKE THAT BECAUSE SOCQUELINE APPARENTLY WENT SO FAR AS TO PHYSICALLY THREATEN CHLOE, WHEN ALL ALYA DID WAS PULL MARINETTE AWAY FROM CHLOE AND BARELY DID ANYTHING DIRECTLY AT ALL!! GET THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT OUT OF MY FACE!!!

I am not eveN GOING TO FUCKING PRETEND TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE BARE MINIMUM REASON THEY ARE GIVING FOR MARINETTE TO PURSUE KIM BECAUSE IT BRINGS BACK ALL OF THE BULLSHIT FROM KURO NEKO IN THAT IT ACCIDENTALLY FRAMES MARINETTE'S CRUSHES IN THE MOST SHALLOW AS FUCK WAY IMAGINABLE!!! 

ALSO, WHY IN THE FUCK ARE KIM AND MAX GOOD ENOUGH FRIENDS IN THE PRESENT WHEN WE ARE LITERALLY GIVEN A SCENE OF KIM BEING SUCH AN INSENSITIVE JACKASS TO TAUNT MAX OVER NEEDING CLASSES!? 

THEY EXPLICITLY HAD HIM SCREAM AT KIM IN ANGER FOR HIM TO STOP AND HIM TO JUST SHRUG IT OFF BY ASKING MAX TO LAUGH A LITTLE!!! HOW DID THESE TWO SOMEHOW BECOME CLOSE ENOUGH FRIENDS FOR MAX TO AGREE TO WORK WITH KIM ON CONFESSING TO CHLOE IN DARK CUPID!? SINCE WHEN WAS HAVING A LAUGH THIS FUCKING IMPORTANT TO KIM AT ALL!?!?! 

I am literally too fucking angry to even go for all caps. This is nonsense taken to the NTH degree. Making Chloe cartoonishly evil does not make her more unlikable, it is bad writing. Making Kim so fucking stupid he doesn't get what "confessing feelings to him" means and being convinced to go along with a prank because he's too fucking stupid to understand what's going on is bad writing. THIS ENTIRE EPISODE is bad writing. I just... I am not even gonna pretend to tolerate this. 

Trying to be FUCKING self aware about Marinette's future obsession about confessing DOES NOT FUCKING WORK WHEN SHE LITERALLY NEVER HAS HAD THAT FUCKING PROBLEM WITH LUKA!!!

See, what makes all this bullshit utter nonsense is that, by all rights, if ANY OF THIS, the backstory in general, took place... then MARINETTE SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO COME WITHIN A HUNDRED FEET OF EITHER KIM OR CHLOE!! WHY IN THE WORLD IS SHE WILLING TO EVEN BE IN THE SAME ROOM AS THE TWO OF THEM IF THEY HURT HER LIKE THIS!? WHY IS SHE ABLE TO BE CIVIL WITH KIM WHEN HE HAS NOT APOLOGIZED OR EVEN REALIZED WHAT THE FUCK HE DID WAS WRONG IN NEARLY A FUCKING YEAR!? WHY WAS MARINETTE ABLE TO WORK WITH SOMEONE WHO FUCKING TRAUMATIZED HER DURING ANIMAESTRO, OR ANY OF THE TIMES SHE CALLED ON QUEEN BEE!? WHY WOULD SHE SAY SHE THINKS CHLOE IS ABLE TO CHANGE IN SEASON TWO IF THEY HAD A PAST LIKE THIS!? FUCK THIS NOISE!! FUCK IT WITH A RUSTY CHAINSAW!!! 

IF ANYONE TRIED TO TELL ME THAT THE WRITERS PLANNED THIS OUT AHEAD OF TIME, I WOULD BELIEVE THEM BECAUSE THE WRITERS ARE SUCH FUCKING HACKS THAT I WOULDN'T TRUST THEM NOT TO CHOP DOWN A TREE BY LEANING ON IT!!! 

THESE IDIOTS WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND CONTINUITY IF IT HIT THEM OVER THE HEAD WITH A HISTORY TEXTBOOK!! 

HERE’S ANOTHER BIG ISSUE WITH THIS FUCKING FIASCO OF AN EPISODE, APPARENTLY CHLOE VIDEO TAPED THE ENTIRE INCIDENT AND POSTED IT ON SOCIAL MEDIA!! HOW IS ANYONE UNAWARE OF THIS NONSENSE!? 

Okay, never mind, they had Mary Socqueline kick the phone out of midair. WHY!? 

DO NOT EVEN TRY AND PRETEND THAT MAKING MARINETTE INTO A FUCKING STALKER WAS ALL MEANT TO BE PART OF SOME TRAUMATIC BACKSTORY, THAT THIS IS SOMETHING SHE WOULD DO WITH ANY GUY SHE LIKES, NOT WHEN LITERALLY NONE OF THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT EVER APPLIED DURING HER RELATIONSHIP WITH LUKA!!! GET THIS NONSENSICAL BULLSHIT OUT OF MY SIGHT!!! 

DO NOT EVEN TRY AND DO A TONAL WHIPLASH BY SWITCHING FROM MARINETTE BAWLING HER EYES OUT IN THE BATHROOM WITH CHLOE COMPLAINING TO THE PRINCIPAL ABOUT SOCQUELINE!!! DO NOT EVEN BEGIN TO FUCKING GO THERE!!!

GET THIS NONSENSICAL SHIT OUT OF MY SIGHT WITH SOCQUELINE GETTING SUSPENDED!! I DON'T EVEN LIKE HER AND I KNOW THIS EVENT IS CHARACTER ASSASSINATING BULLSHIT!! EVEN WHEN CHLOE LEANED ON ALYA TO BE PUNISHED IN LADY WIFI, SHE ACTUALLY HAD A FUCKING LEG TO STAND ON, AND ONLY GOT THE SEVERITY OF HER PUNISHMENT INCREASED!! THE MAYOR DOES NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO REPLACE THE PRINCIPAL!! IT WAS EXPLICITLY A FUCKING PLOT POINT DURING THE BATTLE OF THE QUEENS TRILOGY THAT HE HAS EXTREMELY LIMITED POWER OVER THE SCHOOL SYSTEM, AND THE MOST HE COULD DO WAS GET THE SCHOOL CLOSED FOR A FUCKING DAY!! HE IS NOT EVEN ON THE FUCKING SCHOOL BOARD!!! 

THEY FUCKING MADE SOCQUELINE RIP OFF ALYA'S MAJESTIA SPEECH FUCK THIS NOISE!!! 

OH GREAT ANOTHER FUCKING CASE OF A CHARACTER RESISTING A FUCKING AKUMATIZATION, LIKE THAT'S SOMETHING SPECIAL THESE DAYS!! 

WHY IS THIS IDIOT SAYING THAT CHLOE IS THE PRETTIEST GIRL TO HIS GIRLFRIEND!? WHERE DID THIS MORON'S BRAIN DISAPPEAR TOO!? 

MARINETTE, DO NOT EVEN GO THERE WITH FUCKING SAYING IT'S ALL CHLOE'S FAULT, NO ONE FORCED YOU TO DECIDE TO PROMISE TO FUCKING STALK PEOPLE, OR TEAM UP WITH THE PERSON WHO ALLEGEDLY TRAUMATIZED YOU, ESPECIALLY NOT WHEN YOUR ENTIRE RELATIONSHIP WITH LUKA MADE IT VERY CLEAR THAT YOUR VOW IS TOTAL BS!!! 

THIS ALSO IS NOT HOW TRAUMA WORKS!! IT DOES NOT FUCKING MATTER IF YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT CAUSES TRAUMA, OR WHERE IT CAME FROM, THE TRAUMA WILL STILL FUCKING EXIST!! YOU HAVE TO PUT IN THE FUCKING WORK TO OVERCOME IT AND LEARN TO ADAPT IN YOUR DAY TO DAY LIFE!! THERE IS NO HAVING A MAGICAL EPIPHANY THAT'LL MAKE IT ALL GO THE FUCK AWAY!!!

AFTER ALL, IF ANY OF THAT SHIT WERE TRUE, I WOULDN'T BE HALF AS FUCKED UP AS I AM BY ALL THE BULLSHIT MY GRANDFATHER HAS PUT ME THROUGH!! DO YOU EVEN COMPREHEND HOW UTTERLY TONE DEAF, OFFENSIVE, AND SELF-RIGHTEOUSLY HYPOCRITICAL THIS ENTIRE FIASCO OF AN EPISODE IS SUPPOSED TO BE!? ANY POSSIBLE UPSIDE OF MARINETTE ACKNOWLEDGING THAT SHE'S A FUCKING STALKER WAS TAKEN AWAY BY MAKING IT "ALL CHLOE'S FAULT" AND I AM NEVER GOING TO LET THIS FUCKING GO!!! 

DO NOT EVEN GO THERE WITH THE "HE DESERVES TO GET HURT!!" THIS IS NOT WHAT ADRIEN AGRESTE IS LIKE, I DO NOT GIVE A DAMN IF MARINETTE IS HIS GIRLFRIEND, HE IS NOT THAT KIND OF PERSON!!! AND NO, THE BIG MOMENT HASN'T HAPPENED YET, BUT I CAN TELL IT'S GONNA BE SOON!!! 

And it happened GET THIS FUCKING BULLSHIT OUT OF MY SIGHT!! WHAT THE HELL EVER HAPPENED TO "THERE'S AN ACTUAL LIVING PERSON UNDER THERE" SPEECH WHEN HE ACTUALLY CATACLYSMED MONARCH!? STOP FUCKING TREATING ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS AND HORRIFIC THINGS IN THE SERIES AS SOMETHING ADRIEN JUMPS TO WHEN HE IS PISSED THE FUCK OFF, BECAUSE IT IS PISSING ME THE FUCK OFF!!! WHY IS HE GIVING MORE CONSIDERATION TO A GUY WHO HAS ACTIVELY TRIED TO GET HIM AND HIS GIRLFRIEND KILLED MORE THAN FUCKING ONCE THEN A FELLOW TEENAGER WHOSE WORST CRIME IS BEING A FUCKING MORON!?!? I'M DONE!! I AM DONE WITH THIS BULLSHIT!! NOTHING CAN MAKE THE WRITING COME BACK FROM THIS, NOTHING!!! 

FUCK OFF WITH THIS "YOU'RE GOING TO GO APOLOGIZE TO HER" BULLSHIT!! YOU HAVE BEEN FUCKING ENABLING HER FOR MONTHS, YOU HAD ONE SHOT TO MAKE HER CHANGE FOR THE BETTER AND YOU FUCKING BLEW IT!!! FUCK IT ALL!! FUCK THIS!! FUCK YOU!! FUCK THE WRITERS!!! I'm done. I'm just... I'm done. I'm gonna keep doing my reviews, but this dug up some nasty wounds.

[evelhak]

For the WIP...Bitchberg (lol) and Mr. Forrest and Cherry.

Good choices (I think. At least if you don't mind me getting wordy.). xD Also, you managed to pick the only two of my projects that are both based on stories originally made for stage, and they are also both detective stories/murder mysteries.

I wish I invented the name Bitchberg, but I actually didn't. It's a pretty unorthodox detective novel based on my ballet teacher's original script "Murder in Ballet Academy", for one of our ballets about two years ago. I was so taken by the characters, which a lot of us had a chance to largely create for ourselves, that I asked if she would be okay with me basing a novel on her concept, and she said go ahead! I wrote about a half of it, while I was working with a government grant last year, but I've been unable to continue, since I have other more pressing projects piling up.

In the ballet, we had humorously named characters, whose names would tell what you need to know about them, such as Gloria Bitchberg, Myra Follows, Kyra Obeys, Rosa van der Wall, Chloe Clever, Moira Poor and Faye d'Away. In my version, I turned these into nicknames, and Chloe Clever also became Chloe Cloudhead, because she had the only flattering name, and I needed them all to be the opposite. No one knows who started coming up with the names, but the oldest students and the teachers are known more as their nicknames than their real ones. The title character, Gloria Berg, known as Gloria Bitchberg, is the queen bee of the senior class of a fairytale-esque ballet school in the countryside. And yes, there's a murder, and circumstances lead the students to try to solve it. It may seem like it's a classic detective novel at first, but it's not. Unfortunately, I can't say more about that.

Like all my work, it's very focused on characters, dynamics and personal growth. Ballet school hierarchy, competition and friendship are important elements. My primary inspiration came from a need to reinterpret our comedic, purposefully one-dimensional characters, in more nuance, and while doing that, I also discovered angles to the crime that turned it from a joke to something more socially meaningful to discuss.

Here's a snippet I just quickly translated from the story:

Gloria was strange in that she didn't actually look like a dancer. Not the way some other people looked like their sport, no matter what they were wearing. In her jeans and sweater, Gloria seemed like a normal, though stylish, student, and at her best, she could have been mistaken for a model who just walked out of a photoshoot. Leotards and tights were just one more carefully chosen outfit on her. Sometimes, Gloria didn't even look like a dancer while she danced. Myra never would have said that out loud, of course, because she would not have been able to explain it in a way that didn't sound bad. But it wasn't. Maybe it was even a good thing. Gloria just looked like Gloria, even when she was dancing. Perhaps she escaped standards without breaking them, in a way that made her the paradox of Standard Academy. Maybe it was the very reason that Gloria was, in everyone's opinion, the student who had "it". Maybe, this was Gloria's "it". How, instead of reaching for an odorless, colourless standard, her every movement and expression seemed like an answer to the question of who Gloria Bitchberg was.

Mr. Forrest & Cherry is an episodic story based on my high school theatre diploma work "Case Casanova", which is the only play I've written. Style-wise, it's a very similar murder mystery comedy as the ballet mentioned above. The name is misleading though, it has nothing to do with the famous Casanova, I just wanted the rich guy who gets murdered in the beginning to sound funny and nonsensical, so I named him Hannibal Casanova.

The play came to be, when I didn't get to be in the musical Into The Woods, because I didn't have stage charisma. (Well, the director said I had "very sensitive presence" but I understood he was just trying to put my lack of emoting nicely. :D) Acting was something I wanted to try once, really badly, so after I had cried about my unfair fate for a day (lol it was veery dramatic for 17-year-old me), we formed a drama group with some of my friends, called ourselves Bush Mouflons, and had the best time. As the writer of the group, the story became my responsibility after we'd agreed on some basics. I went for comedically one-dimensional characters for this too, because I thought they would be the easiest to act for beginners, especially if I based them on a dominant trait each of us actually had, or had demonstrated was something they were naturally good at portraying.

And that's when I ran into the exact same problem again. Each of my friends had something about them that would draw attention on stage if amplified for their roles, and I didn't. The only thing I was known for was being calm or spaced out. Long story short, in my stubbornness I finally figured out that instead of continuing to hit my head against a wall trying to be something I wasn't, I could write myself a role where not drawing attention would serve the story. (Lol this is totally one of the things that made KnB so relatable to me when I stumbled upon it a few years later.)

We already had the idea that there would be two competing detectives, and I was to be the other one, while the most charismatic and natural performer in our group was to be the other. (I can't even describe her, she was just oozing character, you couldn't help but want to follow whatever character she was playing, the most, and she shined the most in boisterous comedy.) She naturally stole the show, so I figured I could use that to play with expectations. The two detectives disagreed about everything, so I wrote the play in a way that the audience would expect the vibrant Mr. Forrest to be the main hero and root for him, and my friend's expert performance would distract the audience from the fact that boring Cherry wasn't there just to provide an argument, she was actually the one presenting the real clues in subtle ways, often non-verbally.

Yeah, I very shamelessly wanted to create something that could prove that someone like me could (1) act a role that was more complex and demanding than a tree in the background and (2), even be the main hero. :D To my satisfaction, it worked really well. (I was also really lucky to just have the kind of chemistry on stage with the girl who was playing Mr. Forrest that it felt like we were reading each other's thoughts. We were such beginners that we kept forgetting and skipping lines, and each of them was of course crucial because there's a tightly packed logic to murder mysteries, but each time, we were able to improvise together and react to each other's prompts so instinctively that we could change the story on the spot so well that nobody could have noticed we'd even made a mistake if they hadn't seen the play already. Remains one of the more memorable experiences of my life, even though I didn't continue acting.)

Here we have the main suspect Pablo, a family friend of the Casanova's, at the front, Forrest and Cherry on either side, and the other two suspects, the Casanova siblings, above. In the middle is my cat Aatu. 😆 I could write a whole story about just the adventures of my cat on stage.

The last problem I ran into was the scene where I would reveal the murderer, because even if previously the whole point had been that my character would be less interesting to follow than Mr. Forrest, now she couldn't be, she would have to match Mr. Forrest in sharing the audience's attention evenly, while essentially info-dumping, which made it even harder, because that's already hard to do in an interesting way. For a while I felt really stuck with that, but then I realised there was something I could do to draw attention: I could draw. So, while I explained how the murder was committed, I drew it on a flip board. That made it both easier to follow, and even if I still wasn't interesting, what I was doing was interesting enough to sustain the audience's attention. Especially when Mr. Forrest cried out pretty much everyone's favourite line:

"Huh and bah! So, you've been doodling a bit to pass the time! How ridiculous..."

(You had to be there and hear it.)

It worked especially great, because the murder involved a lot of visual mechanics. (Drawing was also a great help for me in remembering my lines, lol!)

I'm telling all this, because these are all key factors in how these characters came to be, and what they later evolved into, when I couldn't leave them alone (or they wouldn't leave me alone). I began to turn the story into a more serious one for a novel/comic adaptation/"reboot". The main characters, Valter Forrest and Cherry Stone, became partners instead of rivals, and the society they live in became a patriarchal dystopian nightmare. Cherry turned from an introvert revelling in obscurity, into an extrovert forced into obscurity, because women aren't allowed to work in her society. (I didn't want to write about "myself" for a "serious" story, and I felt it would make for a more interestingly tragic story, if the main character was someone who was excellent, but was held back from using her skills by society. I also thought that an extroverted genius would be a breath of fresh air.) Mr. Forrest turned from an obnoxious idiot, into a rich guy who has his life laid out for him, but he just wants to be an actor, which his traditional family doesn't approve of. The other characters survived in some form. For example, my friend who played Pablo said the character looked like a gay mailman, so that's what he became. : D The world is a mix of steampunk and fantasy.

I wrote the new version in early university years, but it remains in progess because I haven't been satified with either my plotting or my drawing skills for this yet, so I keep starting over. Here Valter Forrest is the level of klutz that he accidentally solves a murder that has national level of interest, and becomes famous overnight. His fiancée, who likes to bully him, and has his father wrapped around her finger too, convinces the father to finally force his son to "become something", so Valter is forced to become a detective. Valter has no clue how to do the job, and his only relief is in thinking that it'll eventually be obvious that he just had beginner's luck and the whole thing will be forgotten. But his "luck" seems to continue. Valter begins to receive anonymous drawings of the culprits, and each time they turn out to lead him to the right direction. Eventually, Valter meets Cherry, who reveals herself as the one solving the cases for him, and when the two find that their interests align, they begin a partnership. The world is Valter's stage while he plays a detective, and Cherry has a cover for her work, she just needs to write Valter's lines.

Other than the classic Conan Doyle and Christie stuff, I was definitely influenced by Detective Conan, but I think I also have enough of my own touch to make this work. Eventually.

Here's another drawing, probably from the summer between high school and starting university, which was sort of in the middle of the characters' evolution. Their looks have begun to change, but the picture still has the play's dynamic, Mr. Forrest thinking he's excellent, having put together a word (eng. "open trap") from the letters, while Cherry is picking up the crucial letter he didn't notice. I'm sure you can figure out what the real word is supposed to be. :D

Thanks for the ask, I especially love reminiscing about the early days of the latter project, because it was one of those defining works without which I wouldn't be the writer or the person I am. (Lol, but it's very true. The play was one of the things that made high school for all of us, we don't see each other often but whenever we do, we still talk about that damn play every time, 13 years later.) Looking back, there are so many stupid and nonsensical elements in the play that I wouldn't be caught dead writing today, but it remains so nostalgic to me, nonetheless, and there's still some good stuff that will probably survive to the final version when I get it out.

Here's the WIP list if anyone else is interested.

[seigephoenix]

happy dadwc! a song lyric prompt for characters/pairing of your choice: You’re not close enough so there’s space in between you and me

-inquisimer

Happy DADWC! A prompt for @dadrunkwriting This is the last prompt of the night because, well... Y'all will see. It got away with me and I think I'll lay off the Bacardi next time. XD Turns out I get wordy and want to put feelings into my smut.

Content Warning: A little Bianca slander but just a bit, fingering, smut with feelings, p in v Length: ~5k (I got really wordy with this one)

Niyra looked out over the Skyhold courtyard with a wry smile on her face as she spied her companions milling about.  She searched for one face but he wasn’t there, but she knew deep down he wouldn’t be out there.  Not since Hawke decided to stay at Skyhold and continue to help them in their fight against Corypheus.  She would be jealous except she wasn’t sure where she really stood with Varric.  One moment he was flirting with her and the next he jumped a few meters back away from her.

After dealing with Bianca, which still left a sour note in her mouth, he’d been distant from her.  Niyra thought she’d handled that situation as best as she could, she didn’t punch the infuriating woman in her mouth like she wanted.  She also didn’t let Sera put itching powder on her when she wasn’t looking.  She turned back towards her room and looked at the mountain of paperwork on her desk and heaved an exhausted breath.  She quietly sat at her desk and got to work.

Herald’s Rest

“So, the Inquisitor is rather cute.” Hawke grinned down at Varric who sent him a warning glare.

“Not the time Hawke.”  Hawke raised his hands and merely grinned at his friend.

“I’m just saying, you could do a lot worse than the woman who holds most of the fate of Thedas in her hands.”  He ordered another drink and sipped it as he watched the parade of emotions on Varric’s face.  Bull had told him what went down with their confrontation with Bianca, and Hawke commended Cadash’s restraint.  Their old companions wouldn’t have shown such resolve, of that he was sure and he wondered if Varric saw it.  Hawke also thought back to the way Cadash looked over at Varric when the dwarf wasn’t looking at her.  He’d caught her eye once and had chuckled at the way her face went up in flames.

“I have Bianca.” Varric began but Hawke scoffed.  “What?”

“Be honest with me Varric.” Hawke turned to face him and crossed his arms.  “I love you and I have for a lot of years, so I want you to be honest with me and yourself when I ask you this question.”  Varric sipped his ale as he looked at Hawke with a steady gaze.  “Do you still love Bianca or are you just scared of the unknown?”  Varric drew up in outrage but he held up his hand.  “Bianca is a steady facet of your life, one that has blown up in the past few years.  You know her.  You don’t know Cadash and that scares you.  You’ve never done well with that type of thing my dear dwarven friend.” Hawke grinned as he saw his words hit home.

“There’s nothing wrong with sticking to the familiar.”  Hawke shook his head and looked down at his tankard.

“Nah, pretty boring though.  Me?  I’d rather jump in with both feet.  I may fail but at least I’m still going somewhere.”  Varric glared at Hawke who merely shrugged with a grin.  “What?  It’s the truth.  The unknown is scary, sure, but there’s so many possibilities there.  You swore Bianca was your one true love, but love can be just as fickle as fate herself.”  Hawke waved his hand as he spoke.  “Could be she was just stop number one to teach you what you were truly looking for.”

“Hawke…  You’re speaking nonsense.  Bianca is the end all be all for me.”  Hawke regarded his tankard and shook his head.  “What?”

“Seems lonely.  Also isn’t she married to someone else and the Guild has a hit out on you if you come close to her?  Sheesh, you live for complications don’t you?” Hawke realized what he said and burst out laughing.  “And that’s coming from me.  The king of complicated relationships.”

“Well then big guy, what would you do?  If my situation was like yours and Anders?”  Varric asked impatiently.  Hawke smiled and looked down at his ale.

“I’d be thankful for the ride we did have together.  The lessons learned, the love we shared, and the adventure itself.  But I’d move on.  Dwelling on the past does nothing but stagnate you,” Hawke murmured as he lifted his eyes to Varric’s.  “Life is too short to be stuck in one place.  And if you ask him, Anders will tell you the same thing.”

“I see.” Varric took a long swig of his ale as he contemplated Hawke’s words.  Was he just clinging to the past because he was too afraid of moving forward?  Was it Bianca he loved or the memory of who she was?  He certainly didn’t know the current woman, not the one they’d met down there in the entrance to the Deep Roads.  When he closed his eyes, it wasn’t Bianca’s eyes that came to his mind.  It was a pair of Lyrium blue eyes and a sultry voice calling his name with a laugh.  “I’ll think about it.”

“All I can ask.  You heading in for the night?” Varric nodded and Hawke wished him a good night.

Niyra’s Quarters

“Why do I have to care again?” She glared down at the piece of paper as an Orlesian noble wrote to her griping about another lady copying her dress.  “Maybe Josie can explain it to me.”  Niyra set the paper to the side as she reached for another when the sound of her door opening reached her ears.  She figured it was one of her advisors and went back to the task at hand before more paperwork got thrown at her.

She ran a hand over her hair and clenched her jaw as another Orlesian noble brought a petty dispute to her attention.  “You’d think we didn’t have a huge hole in the fucking sky to deal with based on this shite.”  Niyra huffed as she grabbed her quill to write a reply.

“Inquisitor?”  Niyra fumbled the quill as Varric’s voice startled her, landing with soft clatter and leaving a large ink stain on the reply on which she’d been working.  “Didn’t mean to scare you.  Didn’t you hear me come in?”

“I heard the door open, but I didn’t expect you…  I expected Josephine or Cullen honestly.”  Niyra rubbed at her temple as she looked down at the dark splotch on the page.  She tilted her head as she tried to figure out the shape.

“Looks like…”

“Don’t finish that thought Tethras.” Niyra pointed her finger at him as they both knew what the shape looked like.  She sighed and tossed the paper in the bin next to her desk.  “Now, what brings you to my quarters at this time of the day?” Niyra hopped off her chair and skirted around the desk to lean against it.  Her heart was beating out of her chest as she regarded him carefully.  She didn’t know what tore him from Hawke’s side but it would not be anything good.

“Can’t a guy want to go talk to the lady in charge of most of Thedas about the weather?” Niyra’s eyebrows shot up as she heard something in his voice.  Something that didn’t sit right with her and unsettled her.  Derision.

“Whatever pissed you off Varric has nothing to do with me, so I’ll ask you kindly to not take it out on me.” Niyra crossed her arms as Varric looked startled.  Genuinely startled.  Now that was something to think about, did he not realize what he’d done?  Niyra wondered about that.  “Now, you never visit me in my quarters.  I don’t think you’ve ever stepped foot here, so whatever brought you here must be serious.  So what’s the problem?”

“Does it always have to be a problem you need to solve?” Varric asked quietly as she grabbed the small wooden sculpture on her desk.  She had to have something to focus her hands on while she was speaking to anyone, an annoying habit that got her knuckles smacked too many times to count as a child.

“Well, it usually is a problem that brings you to my door.  I’m the one who seeks you out for anything else.”  Her quiet words stalled his on his tongue.  Was that true?  He thought back to their interactions and realized she would get that impression from him.  Varric wanted to smack himself.  “So if it’s not a problem, what does bring you to my room?”

“I.” Varric began but the words stuck in his chest.  Was he afraid of stepping forward?  Was it the fear of change?  Bianca represented the comfort in things he knew, Niyra represented things he couldn’t know for sure.

Niyra waited for him to finish but he just couldn’t continue.  She grew concerned that it was a truly serious matter that brought him up to her room.  She stepped closer to Varric and he jerked back in a startled reflex.  She paused and stared at him in wide-eyed confusion.  “Why did you do that?”

“Do what Inquisitor?”  She flinched as he used her title but her anger boiled up after a second.

“Flinch away from me like that.  When did I ever give you any indication I’d hurt you?” Niyra demanded as she set the wooden sculpture down on her desk and turned to fully face Varric.  Her blue eyes were dark with her anger and it did something to his pulse to see it.  “Tell me Varric, why are you so skittish around me?  Is it because of the whole Bianca thing?  Ugh, it is isn’t it?”  Niyra threw up her hands as she drew her own conclusions as he remained silent.  The mention of Bianca snapped him out of it and the age-old instinct to defend Bianca jumped forth.

“Don’t say her name.”  Niyra turned and regarded him with a steady gaze.

“I honestly don’t know what you wanted from me Varric.  I treated her as I would treat any potential ally of the Inquisition.  Respectful and cool.  Because I don’t trust her and I seriously don’t know why you do!”  Niyra shouted.  The words bounced around her room as she struggled to control her breathing and temper, but nothing was working.

“She was my lover!”

“Was!  Was your lover Varric!  Would a lover really do what she did?” Niyra swung her hand out to the side as if to emphasize her point.

“You don’t know her reasons!”

“I certainly do!  Selfish!  They were selfish!” Niyra snapped at him in return.  “That woman did not give a single thought to how this would come back on you.”  She pointed at his chest, her nail pressing in against his shirt.  His eyes were angry as they met hers.

“You don’t know her like I do.”  Niyra rolled her eyes which annoyed him even more.

“And how exactly do you know her Varric?  By your own account you haven’t spent time together in the same spot in years!  People change!  Bianca is no exception!  The Bianca you knew in your youth is no longer the woman who was down there!” Niyra was seething that he dared insult her the way he did.  Months of frustration at being given crumbs of affection only to snatch it all away boiled to the surface and she wasn’t holding anything back.  “And if you truly loved Bianca then what the hell did that kiss mean between us!?”  Varric stepped back as if she slapped him.

“That.  That was.” Varric stumbled over his words as he remembered the night she was talking about.  Halamshiral after all the attempted assassinations and coups were finished, he’d found her by the side patio.  She’d looked so lost and he’d gotten lost in her eyes.  He’d moved without meaning to and their lips had met.  The thought of that kiss still made his heart flutter.  She’d poured all of herself into that kiss and it had humbled him to feel it, but also terrified him.  He’d pulled back away from her after that night.

“Oh don’t bother.” Niyra sounded so defeated that it snapped him out of his own thoughts.  “I know what that meant.  It meant nothing.”  She motioned dismissively with her hands.  “I mean nothing to you.”  She grabbed the side of her head as she looked at the floor.  “And I’ve accepted it.  Look, think whatever you want about my interaction with Bianca but everything I did was for the good of Thedas.  That woman put everyone at risk with what she did.” Niyra huffed and turned back to her desk.  Varric heard the sound of a door closing in his mind and he panicked.

“Varric, let go of me.” Niyra looked down at his hand holding her wrist.  “I’m not in the mood to fight with you anymore.”  His fingers tightened around her wrist and she glared at him before snatching her arm back.  “Good night, Varric.”

Varric felt the finality in her words but he just couldn’t accept it.  Couldn’t accept how badly he’d bungled this and hurt the one woman in all of Thedas who truly didn’t deserve it.  “Wait, In.” He paused before he said her title.  “Niyra.”

Niyra looked at him in shock at hearing her first name.  She honestly didn’t think he knew it.  “Varric, I’m incredibly tired.  I know you want to keep going and try to convince me Bianca didn’t mean what she did, but I don’t have the patience to listen.  So if you don’t want to hear my real opinion on that woman, you’ll leave right now.  Because I swear by the stone I will not hold back if you push me.”  The warning in her voice should’ve stopped him but he realized he needed to hear it.  Hawke wouldn’t tell him how he really felt about Bianca, neither would the rest of their circle in Kirkwall or Skyhold.  Maybe Niyra would tell him.

“Tell me.” Niyra narrowed her eyes but she turned her head rather than respond.

“No.  I don’t know what game you’re playing at Varric but I want no part of it.  You’ve always reacted badly to any mention of Bianca that wasn’t in a positive light so why would I subject myself to your temper?” Niyra paused as she came to a realization on her own.  “Unless you’re spoiling for a fight and I just happen to be convenient?”

“No.  No, I promise.  I just.” Varric paused as he struggled to get his feelings in order.  The betrayal from Bianca still cut deep and it burned in his chest.  “I need to hear it from someone.  What I’m too stubborn to see.”

Concern for him flickered across her face before she put the mask back in place.  The mask he hated.  She put up a wall between them because of his own idiocy and Hawke was right.  He had been stubborn and didn’t want to think about how things changed over the years, he reveled in the comfort of the known.  No matter how hurtful that was, he knew that kind of hurt that came with it.  Varric took a step towards Niyra and she looked surprised.  “Tell me what you think.”

“I don’t honestly know what you gain from this Varric.” Niyra studied his face but she didn’t see any hint that this was a trap.  She still didn’t trust Varric’s sudden attitude change.  “But I’ll not participate.  We have to get ready to deal with the Mythal temple in the Arbor Wilds.  I don’t have time for games.” Niyra turned her back to him and faced her desk.  “So kindly see yourself out of my room.”

“No.”  The word hung between them as he crossed his own arms.  Niyra turned and he saw the threat in her eyes.  Instead of cowering his body reacted with heat.  She turned to face him as a predator would and he was so fucking turned on that it wasn’t funny.  He’d always thought she was beautiful but unapproachable.  Now she looked like lyrium etched into the stone.  Dangerous and unpredictable but absolutely stunning.  Varric had the insane thought that he ought to piss her off more so he could see this side of her.

“Varric…  Did you just say no?”  She couldn’t believe her ears.  Normally Varric didn’t even need her to tell him to get out, he was practically climbing the walls to keep distance between them.  She couldn’t believe what she’d just heard.

“I did.  I’m not leaving.”  Niyra approached until her boots touched his.  He felt his heart racing in his chest as she stared at him.  He stared into her face and studied her.  Her eyes had always drawn him in first, they were such a bright blue, but he finally looked at her.  She had a classically beautiful face with softly rounded jaw and plump lips.  Lips he wanted under his like he wanted his next breath.  His hand reached out and cupped her cheek, his thumb dragged along her bottom lip.

Niyra’s breath froze in her lungs.  Her heart thundered in her ears and she wanted to melt into his touch, but the confusion lingered.  Why was he doing this?  She reached up and wrapped her fingers around his wrist and gently pulled his hand away from her face and she noted the irritation there.  “Varric, I don’t know what game you’re playing but I want no part in it.  Don’t give me hope like this, don’t make me want.  Not when you can’t return what I feel because your heart belongs to another.”  She couldn’t resist and pressed a kiss to his palm before she let his hand drop.  She turned her back to him and crossed her arms over her stomach.  She heard him retreat and refused to cry.  She’d done enough of that.

After the Arbor Wilds

“I don’t have the mental stores to process all that happened.” Niyra grumbled as she sat at her desk in her room.  Ancient gods, Well of Sorrows, and all that magical shit she couldn’t wrap her head around.  She wanted a damn bath to soak away the past week.  She ran the water and sighed happily as she saw the steam rising from it and the soft scent of wildflowers that floated in the air.  Niyra was so happy she personally bribed the construction crew to build her a private bath.  She guarded it ferociously and had only allowed the ladies to take their turns in it.  She didn’t need a throng of people going in and out of her room.  Dorian was the only exception, he was allowed in.  Though he learned to knock first after that disastrous time he saw her naked.  Niyra had doubled over laughing at his shriek of maidenly outrage.

Niyra sank down into the water with a quiet sigh and leaned her head back against the headrest.  She didn’t hear the door open downstairs or the footsteps on the stairs.  She’d told Josephine she’d like an evening to herself and the ambassador passed along the message to everyone.  Her eyes looked up at the ceiling as she contemplated what had happened between her and Varric.  He’d been more attentive and that unnerved her.  He sought her out when they were at camp while waiting to push through to the temple.  The way he acted was like someone trying to court her and Niyra wanted to know what his game was.  The man had an almost complete one-eighty from his opinion on her.

It did a number on her heart.  She wanted to believe he meant it, that he’d finally realized she was the one by his side instead of her.  Niyra didn’t want to risk her heart getting hurt, not when she knew it would shatter her if he rejected her.  She hadn’t expected Hawke to be as involved as he was.  He kept singing Varric’s praises whenever he could work it into a conversation until Niyra joked that he should just date the dwarf if he felt so strongly.  The look on both their faces had been worth it.

Niyra closed her eyes and just let the water soak away all thoughts.  She heard the door creak open and groaned.  “Who is it?  I thought I told everyone I didn’t want company tonight?” Niyra asked as she sat up.  Whoever was at the door was going to get a show, but they were the ones who intruded on her bathing time.  Serves them right.  She heard the quiet inhale and recognized the voice.  Her eyes shot open and she saw Varric standing there at the door, with his hand still on the doorknob.  She felt the flush crawling up her neck to her face and she quickly ducked back under the water.

Varric didn’t know if he would ever string words together after that view.  Softly rounded breasts tipped with dusky pink nipples.  It made his mouth water wondering what they would taste like under his tongue.  Which lead to him wondering what his name would sound like coming from her with his teeth and tongue on her body.  His fingers tightened on the door as the thoughts raced through his mind.

“Varric, get out!” Niyra hissed at him.  She pointed towards the open doorway but Varric merely studied her face.  She felt so self-conscious.  Her body was that of a warrior, not soft and pliable like a noble’s.  Not like.  Niyra cut off that thought, she wasn’t going to compare herself to anyone let alone her.

“Have you been hiding this?” Varric waved towards the bathtub and she grumbled at him in response.  “So just the men are excluded?”

“Not all of them.  Dorian is more than welcome to have a bath.”  Niyra huffed as he tilted his head while staring at her.  “What?  I’m not apologizing for not saying anything.  Now get out.”  She lifted her arm to point towards the doorway again before submerging it again.  Niyra let out a startled squeak when he pulled his shirt off.  “What are you doing!?”

“Huh?  What does it look like?  I’m going to take a bath too.”  Niyra stood in alarm and shook her head.  He froze and she realized what she did.  “Nice view.”

“Quit staring at my tits and get out!” Niyra jerked her hand towards the door and he nearly swallowed his tongue at how her breasts bounced.  His eyes followed one droplet of water as it trailed down her chest until it slid off one taut nipple.  His mouth went dry and he desperately wanted those nipples in his hands and mouth.

Instead of listening to her, his hands moved to his belt and Niyra let out a high-pitched sound and turned around so her back was to him.  “What’s the matter Cadash?  Scared to look.”

“Do not patronize me Tethras!  Get out of my bathroom.”  She froze when she heard him slip into the water.  “Varric!” Niyra hissed his name but it ended on a hiccup when his chest brushed her back.  Her heart pounded in her chest as his body heat warmed her back.  Her fingers itched to touch but she didn’t know how to trust this change in him.

His fingers brushed over her shoulders earning a shudder from her.  They traced a soft path down her spine, pausing at the curve of her ass before falling away.  Her arms crossed lightly over her breasts as she sucked in a breath.  “Varric.  What.”  Niyra swore quietly when she felt his cock against her ass.  “I don’t know what game you are playing Tethras, but it’s a dangerous one.”

“Who says I care?”  Varric leaned in to whisper in her ear as his hands closed over her shoulders.  “What’s the matter?  Are you scared?”  Varric grinned when she turned around, not wanting to let that challenge lie.  His hands drifted down until his fingers dug into her hips.  His cock brushed against her stomach and he was finding it increasing difficult to concentrate.

“I’m not scared of you Varric Tethras.” Niyra hissed.  “I want to know what you’re playing at.  You were just jumping away from my touch before, and now?  Now we’re here.” She waved her hand between them before dropping it to her side.  “And it makes me scared because I don’t want to hope.”

Varric’s heart dropped at her words.  He’d bungled this one badly, but he thought he made his intentions clear with the mission into the Arbor Wilds.  He almost kicked himself.  Niyra needed his words.  He reached up for her face and cupped her cheek in his palm.  “I did some self-reflecting over the past month.”  Niyra looked into his eyes as he spoke and it humbled him to see the emotions swimming there.  “I realized that I let the world pass me by.  I almost let you pass me by.”

Niyra felt hope swelling in her chest and she tried her best to leash it back, but his words gave her that.  “I clung to what was comfortable even if it hurt me.  It was a pain I knew and could understand.  I was scared to move past it and to see what could be out there because I liked the comfort of knowing.”  Niyra sympathized with those feelings.  She’d been thrown into a position that had a lot of unknowns and she wished so desperately to go back to her old life in the beginning.  “Turns out, the unknown isn’t as bad as I thought it was.  Especially when I saw you there by my side throughout it all.”  His thumb stroked her bottom lip as he spoke and she flushed at his words.  Varric chuckled.  “I never knew that blush went that far down.”  She glared at him as his eyes trailed down to her chest.  He looked up into her eyes again.  “I finally see who it was that’s been with me.  The one who showed me a new way to live in my world.”  Varric leaned in and brushed his lips over hers in a whisper soft caress leaving her aching for more.

“Varric.”  He shook his head and she bit back the words she wanted to say.

“I was stupid and stubborn to put you aside like I did.  Not when you’ve shown me how you feel.”  He sighed and shook his head.  “What I’m trying to say is, I love you Niyra Cadash.”

The world tilted underneath her feet as she heard his words.  Words she’d heard in her dreams but never thought she’d hear them while awake.  She reached up and trailed her fingers over his face to assure herself it was real.  “I.  I love you too Varric Tethras.  I did even when you were running away from me like a scared little rabbit.”  She grinned as he tugged her closer, letting his lips rest against her temple.

“I wouldn’t say it like that.”  Niyra grinned as she wrapped her arms around his neck, she still couldn’t quite believe she was able to do that freely now.

“Oh?  Would you prefer another analogy?”  Niyra grinned as he grumbled against her skin.

“Things will never be boring with you, will they?”  She shook her head and shifted slightly.  His sharp intake of breath was her reward.  The head of his cock slipped between her thighs and she grinned against his shoulder when his fingers dug into her back.  “You did that on purpose.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” Niyra tried to adopt an air of innocence but that never worked well for her.  It was her turn to gasp when his hands slid down and cupped the curves of her ass, pulling her tight against him.  Her nipples hardened against his chest with the heat swirling in her body.  “Varric.”

“I like the sound of my name like that.” Varric’s teeth grazed over her neck and her head dropped back.  “But I’m not going to finish this in your bath.”  Varric grumbled as the water had begun to cool around them.  Niyra swallowed as he stepped away, she thought it was done now.  Instead he grasped her fingers in his hand and tugged her to follow him.  Niyra let out a laugh as he pushed her to the bed.

“I love hearing you laugh.” Niyra paused at his words and simply held open her arms for him.  He was humbled at the easy affection on her face and he crawled onto the bed, pressing her into the mattress as he settled on top of her.  The backs of his fingers brushed against her cheek and she simply smiled at him before reaching up to pull him down for a kiss.

He fell into the kiss.  Her fingers tangled in his hair as she put her everything into the kiss.  His hand reached between them and brushed against her aching clit.  He groaned against her lips as he found her swollen and soaked.  He lifted his head and leaned his forehead against hers.  He clenched his jaw as her body tightened around his fingers as they slipped inside her.  Varric wanted to see her come apart on his fingers and watch her face as she fell.

Niyra gasped as her head fell back against the bed.  The heat consumed her mind and all she could see was Varric.  Her nails bit into his shoulders at the swell of pleasure in her body.  His teeth raked across her pulse point sending her even higher than before.  She couldn’t get close enough to him, to climb that pinnacle with him.  Niyra swore as her body spasmed around his fingers.  It had been so long that it was almost embarrassing how quickly she came undone.

Varric was stunned as his name sounded like a benediction on her lips when she fell off the edge.  His cock twitched as the urge to claim her consumed him.  He urged her thighs apart and settled between her legs.  He’d set a day aside to spend between her legs and make her cry out his name until she was hoarse, but he needed to be inside her.  His lips captured hers as he plunged in, tasting his name on her lips.  Her legs squeezed his hips as he set a brutal pace.  Her hips met him thrust for thrust as he spoke sinful things in her ear.  Each time she squeezed his cock he swore his eyes would roll back in his head.

Niyra’s nails dug into his back as the heat coiled low and tight between her legs.  Her back arched when his thumb gently massaged her aching clit, sending her spiraling over the edge.  His teeth sank into her shoulder as his cock spasmed inside her.  They laid there, entwined as they struggled to get their breathing back under control.

“Varric,” Niyra whispered as he rolled to the side, but was cut off when he pulled her close to him.  Her head tucked up under his chin and she placed her hand over his chest, finding comfort in how hard his heart was beating as well.

“We can face the world tomorrow.  Tonight?  Tonight is just for us.  Deal?” Varric whispered as he sensed she was going to speak again.  Niyra chuckled at his words and tilted her face up to his.

“Deal.”

[floralcrematorium]

─── ♔─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───♔ ───

Hey, y'all can call me Soph! Unbelievably wordy and not beating the AUDHD allegations This blog operates on a queue when I'm too busy to post, so if you're seeing a spam of posts all at once, that means I'm active!

About Soph:

☆ 21↑ ☆ they/them ☆ Hetalia Veteran (2014-2018 & 2023-) ☆ Illustrator and Writer ☆ Avid fan of FOB, MCR, and a fledgling goth ☆ Always thinking about Francis Bonnefoy. My other faves include HWS China and HWS Norway ☆ Always open to making new friends, so long as you're 20+! Minors are NOT welcome in my DMs

What I Do:

☆ Digital and traditional illustration. You can find my Hetalia work under the tag #floralcrematorium art ☆ Humanverse fanfic focusing largely on the NA bros and FACE family dynamic. Am I compensating for my own strained familial relationships? Maybe! You can find me on A03 and under the tag #floralcrematorium writes ☆ Character playlists with songs that remind me of each character, not so much music I think they'd listen to found at this masterpost and under the tag #floralcrematorium music ☆ Reblogs and occasional rambles. I don't make much sense around these parts, so get used to nonsensical ramblings

Masterposts

☆ Character Playlists ☆ Fic Masterpost ☆ Hetalia Fandom Nostalgia

edited 9/30/2023

[raccoonfallsharder]

Hi! I just wanted to say I've been reading through Window Across the Galaxy - inching forward but reading it - and the way you write Rocket is so damn good. Though maybe I'm biased to hell and back because that is also exactly how I pictured pre-vol. 1 Rocket, haha.

The switching perspectives offer so much. I love how much they are misunderstanding each other.

Your work is inspiring me to want to work on my own wip OC fic. I've only just finished reading chapter 2 but I'm so hooked on Jolie and Rocket's tale. I love all these little snippets we get about her and her career as an artist/appraiser/restorer is so interesting.

A few questions, I know there are a lot of little references to the comics here and there, some I recognize from my own forays into reading those, and when I don't, I look it up because honestly, you add so much flavor and life to the worlds you write that I feel the need to know more. For the stuff that isn't a reference or at least a direct reference (as in a product from a known planet), how do you decide on names and other specifics? I personally long to do that in my writing but struggle with thinking things sound believable.

My other question is do you have any tips for writing Rocket? I know technically he hasn't said anything yet where I am in the story - semantics really, lol - but even through his thought process it sounds so much like him.

friend. sunshine. dewdrop. every time i see a comment or message or ask from you, i get giddy as a six-month-old puppy. you are SO kind and generous and I appreciate your words & support SO much

i’m gonna (try to) answer your questions behind the cut because I am a wordy bitch. also these questions are hard because i don’t often think about HOW my brain works so i will do my best.

but first i wanna say that i am SO excited & honored to have encouraged you to work on your own oc fic! if you end up posting here pleeease tag me ♡ and if not that’s okay too. when i started Window i thought it was going to be just for me and honestly it freed me up to do whatever the fuck i wanted, at my own pace, and that is part of what has kept it fun for me.

K BUCKLE UP THIS IS LENGTHY

so in terms of the shit I just make up (Glortho’s Equation, Spartaxian sugardrops, various fruits and foods and soap and recycling-compressors and other general NONSENSE). this is a layered process.

Almost everything I make up, I try to root in a canonical environment/planet, and I want it to make sense for the characters to HAVE it.

so eg, recycling-compressors came about because, like, they just need a practical way to store or get rid of trash. Are they jettisoning it into space every cycle? Dropping it on a landfill planet? Rocket’s comics-canon disdain for Earth + mentions of intergalactic human lifeform rights policies that Earth doesn’t honor leads me to belief that MOST space-folk embrace more sustainable practices. could be a recycling planet, but i didn’t want them needing to travel there every eight rotations or whatever so i decided having a compressor would allow them to have longer gaps between unloading. but like, you could do ANYTHING. maybe most intergalactic packaging is made from products that can be burnt as a clean universal fuel or something ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

similarly i wanted my best raccoon boy to have access to fish. but since he’s a broke-ass bounty hunter 90% of the time, it’s gotta be something inexpensive/accessible (or stealable) - which means it’s probably a cheap export from a planet with a lot of water. Hello, Morag (and the resulting Moraggian moonfish). Sometimes I’ll reference something already canonical in connection to something I fuckin made up just to increase the sense that all these things interplay with each other (zargnut-crusted moonfish sold by a street vendor on conjunction).

Sometimes I do the opposite. I try to imagine what a product from a planet would look like. eg Indigarran beeswax. I thought, what would Indigar export? It’s this gorgeous planet with a cathedral/palace/place of devotion made of glass. if i - an aesthetique lol - had a glass cathedral, I’d want that shit lit up with candles. Can you imagine how gorgeous that would be? Glimmering everywhere. That’s how i spent too much time dreaming up Indigarran beeswax ceremonial candles for a throwaway line somewhere deep in Window I think ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I also figure because of Kree imperialism in this region of the galaxy, a lot of shit is probably Xandaran. Relatedly if it’s a product associated with wealth, I’ll use Xandar or Spartax (also Atraxia but I think I made that planet up lol). I’ll use Asgard occasionally too but less often because it’s supposed to be at the other end of the galaxy. So if I’m referencing a luxury item, it USUALLY comes from one of these places.

For writing Rocket. I think @aliasrocket recently wrote something about this and I agree with like, every flawless thing they said. I listen to a lot of Rocket clips. I try to hear each spoken line in my head in his voice. Some verbs will end in a hard -ing, and some in a soft hanging -in’. I might also use a conjunction (even if it’s not a “usual” conjunction). Sometimes I use something like a liaison in French (I don’t know if there’s a word for it in English, but I basically smush two words together). Moreover, I’ll go back through Rocket’s dialogue on reread and just make sure I don’t go more than like 1-3 sentences without some kind of word-softening. Some examples:

“What’re you laughin’ at me for?”

“Why d’you wanna do that?”

In third-person narration from Rocket’s perspective (non-dialogue) i still try to use these sporadically, but nowhere near as often because I am trying to separate narrative voice from speaking voice just a little.

I also try to consider rocket’s frame of reference for everything from his perspective. What does he know about because he’s seen it? Heard of it? How did he see or hear it? did he learn about it from a fellow prisoner in the Kyln? Someone he did a job for in Conjunction? An alien refugee on earth? Iron Man? Did he steal it? Make it? Buy it? Was it given to him and by whom and why? How trustworthy is his source? How trustworthy does he think they are?

…

OKAY. wow if you made it to the end of this novel you are IMPRESSIVE and I hope it was at least a little helpful. if you have any other questions I will be flattered and happy to answer them and I’ll try to less fuckin wordy. ♡

you are a gem & a blessing & I hope your fanfic-writing brings you JOY

[keeperofquestions]

Blog Rules (Mobile-Friendly Version)

Hello, my name is Skye (she/her, age 30+) and I’m the mun here. I’ve been RPing for nearly 20 years across fandoms and formats. If you want clarification on any of these rules, please feel free to send me an ask or IM. Rules are subject to change and will always be announced.

Last Revision: 07/10/2024

The Obvious. Respect one another and our characters. I expect we will write with each other and not for each other, not presume anything about each other’s characters, and generally be here for the love of storytelling.

This blog is non-exclusive. I do not require my writing partners to be mutuals with me for interaction, however I do reserve the right to choose who to write/RP with. I often do not follow personal blogs. By that extension, I don’t have exclusives or “mains” when it comes to interacting with canon characters. If you follow back from a blog that isn’t your RP one, please let me know who you are. Mutuals-only blogs: If I follow you (and you’re active) and after a week or so I don’t hear back, I am operating on the presumption that you’re not interested in interacting and I will unfollow. Unless specified or requested, I won’t be blocking anyone, though. If you just don’t get around to it and you follow me later on even after this, I’ll very likely check you out again. There is a non-zero chance I will forget something and refollow someone who I unfollowed through this process at some point. If this happens and you find it annoying, please feel free to block me.

Communication is a must. I’m almost certainly going to be jumping into your IMs on first contact unless you have rules about not using it. Either way, I highly request that we chat a little out of character before the first thread is written so we can hash out dynamics ideas and headcanons to avoid conflicts or confusion. I may not always answer new asks/starters right away if we haven’t done this yet. My IMs are always open. Always. If there’s a question or concern you have about anything, feel free to bring it up- within reason. Criticism is fine, harassment is not. I reserve my discord contact for consistent writing partners if we’ve been writing for a bit feel free to ask.

Mutuals are always permitted the following, including but not limited to: Send whatever nonsense you want through asks and submissions. Steal my memes. Reference my muse and our threads outside of them. Tag me in whatever memes or posts you wish. Send in random starters.

This blog is multiverse. There is no singular canon to this blog. Interactions with one character will not change interactions with another character unless all parties involved want a shared story. Multiple versions and do-overs are always perfectly fine. I do RP with duplicates of canon characters, but for the sake of keeping my verses and plotlines straight, if we’re planning a thread and I already RP with another version of a canon character, your version must have a different dynamic with my character than the first one does. I will inform on this ahead of time when plotting.

No crossovers with other franchises/original settings and lore. I just find them messy to deal with. Phel is meant to exist inside the world and setting of Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss entirely. I do accept random asks and commentary from just about anyone, though. If you have a Hellaverse version of another character, I will make an exception to this rule.

I prefer to plot things out. This goes for both story ideas and character dynamics. By default I presume Duedephelon isn’t connected to anyone nor do I expect him or his artifact to be recognized. However, I’m always open to both of these things and any ideas my writing partners may have about what any unanswered parts of Phel’s story may be.

You do not have to match my post length. I tend to be wordy in my replies, but this does not mean you have to do the same. If your style is an icon and a few lines, that’s perfectly fine. I enjoy quick one-liner interactions as well as the larger posts. Not everything has to be a grand story after all.

I have a post queue. Currently this means that plotted threads will be in a daily post delay with one post coming out a day. I may change this if the queue is backed up by over two weeks. However, roughly a week or so is the time expected for replies. However, don’t expect a hard timeline or ETA. You are always free to ask me where a post is in terms of drafted vs queued if it’s been a while. I will usually write the post, then talk to you about what’s in the queue in case we want to plan out any other details ahead of time. I do not limit how many threads I can have with any one person.

I don’t do NSFW RP. I mostly mean this in terms of smut RP. The source material can be fairly raunchy, yes, but I don’t prefer to write it. I also don’t write/reference anything extreme in terms of gore or taboo sexual content (I won’t list specifics here but if it would get someone arrested in the real world, it’s safe to assume it won’t be here.)

I don’t do fights or shipping scenes at the start. I don’t mind writing either of these but it shouldn’t be the first interaction our characters have. This is entirely a matter of my personal preference. I may occasionally make exceptions if it’s very well planned out.

I’m flexible with canon. Everyone has headcanons and parts of a series lore they don’t know or like. I don’t expect perfect lore knowledge or strict adherence to Hellaverse official lore out of my RP partners. However, unless someone’s headcanons or blog details specifies otherwise, I’m going to be operating on all available defaults for the shows as presented. If I assume something incorrect about your character, please feel free to correct me! I will always go through canon character profiles with the same bespoke care I would give to OCs. Everyone’s portrayal of a character is different, or even wholly canon-divergent, and I have no trouble RPing with canon duplicates as a result. 

Please discuss any triggers or boundaries with me ahead of time. I don’t have any particulars that need to be brought up immediately, but I do assume that anything that goes on in the shows that inspired this character is an expected default in terms of subject matter and tone addressed. If there’s any subject matter you don’t want brought up, just say so. I want this to be a fun and safe time for everyone. Followers are always free to ask something be tagged for any reason. I tag my triggers as “tw ”

I have a day job schedule. I likely will not be able to be contacted, let alone post on most weekdays before the evening. Furthermore I have other obligations so there may be days I will be inactive. I ask you please be patient with me if I’m not there for a while. My time zone is EST (GMT -5).

I always plan fight scenes out ahead of time with RP partners. Phel is capable but not an expert fighter and isn’t intended to get into a lot of heavy action scenes, but in the chance they do I always want to plan out the outcome ahead of time in a way that will tell an interesting story rather than simply to showcase one character’s power over the other.

A note on shipping. Phel’s age is vague but his “actual” age will be close to that of a shipping partner if one starts. I don’t personally like large age gaps in ships and this sort of Schrodinger’s DoB was my solution to that. I presume he’s 18 or 19 (in Hell years) at a minimum but can be older. ICly, Phel is extremely hard to actually woo and anyone genuinely interested in him would have to be the one to approach him, but there’s no guarantee he will reciprocate.  OOCly, I don’t often plan ships and prefer muse chemistry develop over the course of a story. Though, I am also okay with one-sided ships and if your character winds up feeling a certain way toward mine (positive or negative) go for it.

The Do Not Interact List

Here is the list of blogs I will not interact with:

Minors: This is a character set in a very mature franchise intended for adults and some kinds of mature content are inevitable.

Personal Blogs: Questions are okay but I want to focus on writing/roleplaying with Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel characters and other OCs.

Blogs that contain hateful content/ideals: Specifically if it’s the mun who expresses intolerant/hateful views. Characters can be huge assholes so long as it’s acknowledged. This blog is to be an inclusive and accepting space and a refusal to also do so is a no go from me. Tolerance requires rejecting intolerance.

[atalana]

sometimes my brain just spontaneously reminds me of this dirk/roxy conversation, specifically "antediluvian", and just how much dirk info you get in this tiny segment

like

he's gay

he's not comfortable with the idea of being gay

but also he still has enough identity driven heart player nonsense in his brain that he needs it to be acknowledged, so he pushes roxy to say it out loud even though it makes him uncomfortable

when he's uncomfortable he gets even more aloof, and ridiculously wordy, throwing out things like antediluvian

antediluvian

which when you first read this conversation, if you happen to have an insane strider level vocab, or if you look it up, means the second definition here - in 2011 it wasn't too unusual for someone to claim gay was an outdated term, and he doesn't have to label it if he doesn't want to. okay, so he likes guys, whatever, let's move on and ignore that, i'm clearly a modern teenager who's moved past such ridiculous notions of sexuality needing "labels". which is an accurate assessment of dirk's character (at least how he sees himself)

but then you read it again, after the reveal of exactly what time period dirk and roxy are living in

and you realise no, he's being insanely literal right now

gay is an antediluvian term, according to the first definition. because the entire human race died in a biblical level flood, leaving only dirk and roxy. one of whom isn't gay, and one of whom doesn't like the word. the last time anyone used the word gay... was before the flood

and of course, no one but hal is there to get all the little language tricks dirk is throwing in there to cover for the fact that this is a thing he doesn't like about himself

but goddamn this little smartass

[ensignsenna]

Pack 1

I decided that to pace myself through the aforementioned packs of cards, I'm going to pick my favorite card from each pack and wax poetic about the character before opening the next. And the first character getting this treatment is

Not at all surprising, except in the fact that I got him in the first pack. To be fair, it actually was almost Robin. But her card was an anime screencap and this card was ... well, very nice :D

I liked Hawkins basically from the moment he showed up. I was not really sure about most of the Supernovas when they first showed up, but between the aesthetic, the tarot and the spaghetti thing, this was the character from this arc that I was excited to see more of (cue monkey's paw).

It might be because I was a certain type of nerd in a tiny town. Growing up, I honestly wanted comic books, card games, video games, but I never really got to experience those. I'd seen ads for M:TG, watched comic book-based cartoons, but the nearest place to buy those was over an hour away and no one was taking me there. But I DID find a tarot deck for sale in a gift shop in Niagara Falls when I was like 13 and fell in love. Taught myself to do readings, spent hours memorizing the cards and just looking at the art... they were my gateway to all my later nerddom, kinda. So I was primed to latch onto this weird goth man.

But also, I just thought it was fascinating that everyone else we met seemed to have some reason to be on the seas, and they made their decisions based on that reason. Heck, everyone on the Straw Hats has their elevator pitch all cued up for why they want to go to sea, what they're looking for. But then there's this guy who leaves it all up to the cards. I needed to know more and honestly never got satisfactory answers. :D Probably never will.

But maybe that makes it better. It means I get to always ponder it. And it makes writing fic for the guy faaascinating.

Other interesting cards...

I like the art of Drake and, weirdly, I don't actually think I'd internalized what Wire looked like, but when I saw this card I was like, wait... is that what Wire looks like? For real? It's cool art but it def. threw me off :D

I know I'm not alone in liking Hawkins, but I'm curious at what point he hooked other people (or if it was the shipping. As someone who arrived at some of her favorite characters due to shipping, no judgment :D )

[myriad-of-things]

Okay, so, the hagsfiend headcanons >:D

First, I am a simple person: I see dragons, I have to at least check out the idea, so when Lasky introduced Penryck "the Sky Dragon" and then did so little with him, I was very disappointed and made up a few headcanons about him:

- in the First Collier it is mentioned that Arryn had a son; my headcanon is that Penryck met Arryn's son first and he, in turn, convinced Arryn to hire Penryck (because I doubt Arryn would've considered hiring hagsfiends all on his own, he would've tried to get an owl warlord on his side instead)

- Penryck is actually better at diplomacy than Arryn, and he was trying to recruit some of Arryn's generals during the second half of The coming of Hoole; that's one of the reasons there are rumours about them going separate ways at the beginning of To be a King (also, his POV in the Coming of Hoole is him mentally rolling eyes at both Arryn's racist shit and his incompetence as a strategist, and I wish there was more of villainous flashbacks because trying to reverse engineer Sklardrog's personality off one pov and a handful of lines is painful)

- A bit more speculative one: Penryck crossed paths with Theo's father and uncle(possibly killed or ordered to kill the latter). Theo asks Grank if he's sure that Penryck killed the high king ‐ why specifically him and not any other warlord? Either Sklardrog's reputation is that scary or Theo had a personal reason to fear him. (This bit never came up again in the books, though, so it stays a speculation)

- Hoole's first time using firesight was a big missed opportunity. Imagine if he saw hagsfiends just living their lives and started doubting what Grank had told him?

- A rather sad one: I thought a lot about Ygreek and Pleek. A lot. (Mostly ranging between "Who hurt you, Grank?" and "Who hurt you, Kathryn?") Because the more I thought about it, the more it felt(at least the translation) like a part of Ygreek's desire to have a child comes from wanting to fit a "proper family" mold; we don't get a similar in-depth introspection about kids from Pleek's point of view, but since Grank picks him out instantly when he looks into the Ember, I headcanon that Pleek comes from a noble family (probably not as rich as Arryn, Siv or Grank himself), and he probably heard plenty of that "your purpose is to have an heir and pass on the family name one day" nonsense before he met Ygreek. So they both have their share of internalised issues about having kids.

(Oof, that got wordy)

I LOVE DRAGONS. I agree, I wish Penryck's character had been explored more. He does seem to be better at diplomacy from his short conversation with Lord Arrin. Lord Arrin's character pretty much boils down to "I want the throne" and "I want a wife," so it makes sense that Penryck was pulling all the strings behind the scenes. In terms of appearance I'd like to think Penryck had claws on his wings, perhaps scaled talons and very long ear-tufts to the point where they looked like horns.

I just think it's funny that owls are convinced hagsfiends are evil when all the hagsfiends in the legends books were hired by owl lords to overthrow King H'rath. The hagsfiends were definitely taking advantage of the situation there, but it's strange that they're considered more villainous than the owl lords who 1) have a gizzard so they know right from wrong, and 2) still chose to do wrong.

I believe it was confirmed that Pleek was a noble lord, which makes me respect his character more because like you pointed out, he probably faced a ton of pressure from his family to have an heir, and also backlash for falling in love with the enemy. When the war starts he would most likely have lost all his noble titles for consorting with a hagsfiend. He gave up so much for Ygryk, and it feels like a further punishment that they can't have a normal family together. Ygryk would probably also feel a lot of guilt for causing her mate to be cut off and shunned by his kind. Pleek and Ygryk may have been horrible parents to Lutta, but they also didn't have the best situation.

[mademoiselle-red]

I cannot sleep and I just read the most idiotic thing on Twitter so let’s make fun of it together.

There is an article about a (in my opinion) quite blatant attempt by Chinese-American political candidates in San Francisco to prevent non-Chinese candidates from appealing to the city’s Chinese speaking voters. And they are using “cultural appropriation” as an excuse to get their way.

“After an inquiry from Supervisor Connie Chan, the Department of Elections has decided to follow a 2019 state law saying self-submitted Chinese names may only be used if candidates can prove that they were born with them, as many Chinese immigrants or Chinese Americans were, or they have been using the names for at least two years.

If that’s not the case, candidates will then be given a transliteration-based name, which are often wordy and based on Mandarin phonetics.

As San Francisco is heading into an election season, the rule change may be considered a crackdown of sorts. Because of the city’s robust Chinese-speaking population, ballots are in both English and Chinese, which has led many non-Chinese candidates to adopt a Chinese name in an effort to appeal to monolingual Chinese voters.

For example, mayoral candidate Daniel Lurie, a first-time runner in politics, recently named himself 羅瑞德, and the name is widely publicized in the Chinese-speaking world. But if he can’t prove that he was born with the name or has been using it for two years, he will likely be assigned a name, 丹尼爾·露��.”

Anyone who knows anything about contemporary Chinese speech habits would know that Chinese people find “nicknames” in Chinese A LOT easier to remember and pronounce than direct transliterations of non-Chinese names. And if a non-Chinese celebrity doesn’t have an “official” Chinese nickname, Chinese people will make one up for them!

Non-Chinese people self selecting new Chinese names (usually creatively inspired by their original names) is not cultural appropriation! It’s just a way for the person to make it easier for people to pronounce and remember their name! Lots of Chinese people also adopt English names for similar reasons. People just want their names to be remembered and not butchered on a regular basis. And sometimes that requires creative translation or a brand new name in the target language!

Also, Daniel Lurie’s self-chosen Chinese name absolutely SLAPS in Chinese. While the literal transliteration sucks. Let’s break it down:

The “nickname”, 羅瑞德, is pronounced Luo Rei De in Chinese. Luo Rei sounds like Lurie, his last name, and De is the first syllable of his first name. But it gets even better. This version of his name follows the Chinese last-name-before-first-name rule, since it puts Lurie before Daniel. Plus, Luo is a fairly common Chinese surname, so to native Chinese ears, the name sounds like surname Luo, given name Rei De, which sounds “natural.” And to top it all off, the characters Rei and De combine together to make yet another fairly common Chinese given name! Rei means “intelligent” and “De” means “moral”, both auspicious characters that are frequently combined together in given names for boys! Rei is rather gender neutral but De is much more common in boys, thus also clearly marking the gender of the person. So in conclusion, Daniel Lurie’s Chinese “nickname” manages to remain true to his original English name AND sound fantastic and easy to remember in Chinese.

Now let’s look at the literal transliteration they wanted to assign him: 丹尼爾·露里

This is pronounced Dan Ni Er, Lu Li. Yes, it does sound almost exactly like “Daniel Lurie”. But what does this name mean in Chinese? Let me translate: Dan = pill 💊, Ni=woman, Er= a grammatical term with no meaning, Lu = Dew, Li = inside. We went from “Luo the intelligent and virtuous” to a nonsensical combination of words! And remember that Chinese names are usually 2-3 syllables. A 5 syllable name creates way more mental friction for a native speaker to read, say, and remember. If Daniel Lurie actually had to use this transliteration, it wouldn’t take long for his mandarin-speaking supporters to start affectionately calling him something like 丹努力 “Dan the hardworking” (pronounced Dan Nu Li). I made this one up on the spot, based on the tendency of Chinese netizens to take the first syllable of any foreign name and make it the “last name” and then assigning a 2-syllable “given name” that describes some a trait they associate with that person and vaguely sounds like other parts of the person’s foreign name.

So the people trying to ban self-selected Chinese names either don’t know how Chinese native speakers prefer to interact with foreign names or know all too well the importance of having a good Chinese “nickname” and are trying to sabotage their political opponents’ chances.

[vauxxy]

songs i think the marauders era characters would EAT THE FUCK UP!!

james potter

‘say yes’ by elliott smith

i feel like james doesn’t really listen to music that much, more so just pick out a few songs that sirius and remus like and just go with it. remus loves elliott smith (despite his more ‘grunge’ music taste) so he would play a lot of his songs when he’s alone or just chilling out.

james would hear this song and be like “UMMM THIS IS SO ME CORE” and he’d listen to it on repeat for WEEKS.

remus lupin

‘my iron lung’ by radiohead

this mother fucker is a radiohead stan. remus is the radiohead bf sirius is his blur gf.

he loves a little guitar riff and then absolutely nonsensical breakdowns in the middle of the chorus 👍

also i feel like he just relates to the teen angst vibe of it. he listens to it when he’s upset that he’s a queer werewolf from care home. so HIS ‘iron lung’ in that sense would be he queerness and his upbringing, or maybe even sirius at some points.

sirius black

‘beetlebum’ by blur

one thing abt sirius is that he only listens to brit-rock or 2000’s pop punk bangers with explicit sexual innuendos. they just hit!

he’s an early p!atd stan btw. soz.

and a deftones boy. cringe!

but he really likes blur!! he listens to it for hours at a time. he just LOVES the chorus soooo much. it’s a bit basic but he likes it.

lily evans

‘velvet ring’ by big thief

i feel like lily is a folk fan above all other genres of music. obviously she loves fleetwood mac, taylor swift, etc… but her loyalties lie with the cluttered, wordy and intimate lyricism of artists like big thief, clario and sidney gish.

lily listens to this specific song whenever she feel nostalgic or when she’s got growing pains. it kinda grounds her. she’s the type of person who gets so fixated on the past or what her futures gonna look like, so she channels those feelings into reflection instead. she finds a lot big thief’s songs do just that :)

marlene mckinnon

‘debris’ by lowertown

marlene loves indie girl music!! she loves messy vocals and melancholic chord progressions, so she lovesss lowertown.

this song is basically the verbalisation of how she feels other people would treat her if she finally opened up. she feels deeply attacked by the lyrics lol xx

mary mcdonald

‘this is what makes us girls’ by lana del rey

this mf loves lana del rey more than anything. she is a dark feminine born to die giant falsies dark pink french tips and ices mocha latte typa girlie.

this song just makes her feel so powerful and so connected to her friends!! she thinks it’s just so her. she also feels like her attractiveness is one of her best qualities (which isn’t true she’s literally the funniest and kindest girl at hogwarts) and one of her only strengths and she HATES FEELING THAT WAY… so when she listens to lana she’s like ‘mmm she’s so mother! she gets me!!!’

she knows she’s a pretty girl with a group of pretty girl friends and she loves it!!!!

regulus black

‘you’re on your own kid’ by taylor swift

ok regulus is not a tswizzle fan by any means.

but pandora likes her and forced him to listen to a few of her favourite songs. when this song came on he was like “… ok wtf 😧 she’s so me”

all of the lyrics just ATE in his mind. he relates to every lyric PAINFULLY SO.

pandora

‘whatever’ by elliott smith

pandora listens to literally every type of music ever.

she likes phoebe bridgers and found out about elliott smith though her, and heard this song and was like “elliott smith wrote this song about reggie and i xx”

they’re best friends! they are literally the bestest of friends. such a pure friendship.

all of them :)

‘spring’ by angel olsen

bro you’ve gotta listen to this song. it’s like evil crack.

[littleperilstories]

First Draft Friday

Welcome to a new round of FDF! Here are the beginnings of some Will Bad Times(TM) for your Friday morning. Unedited nonsense from Chapter 23 (untitled)!

(I've actually already done some edits on this chapter, but I drafted this FDF post pretty much as soon as I wrote this, so next Friday I'll show what it looks like after some adjustment.)

Inspector What’s-His-Face—I know it’s in there somewhere—Bulwell, that’s it, that’s his name—stares me down. He has blue eyes, but the watery grey sort of blue, like life has been sucking the colour from him slowly over the years, feasting on his flesh and his soul.

“Lovely,” I say. “So nice to meet you. What d’you want to talk about?”

I brace myself for a punch or a slap or something equally enjoyable, but it doesn’t come. Bulwell just keeps looking at me.

“Hatchett said you’re an interesting character,” he says after a while. Slowly. Thoughtfully. “Everyone admits that they’re rather surprised you haven’t talked yet.”

“Talked about what?”

Again, I tense up in anticipation. Nothing.

It’s nice to be sitting in a chair, a luxury I have not enjoyed in a while. It is not nice to be bound to it with rope. I could do without that part.

Self-Critiques:

Wordiness (first paragraph particularly). I think conciseness would make the image I'm going for in paragraph 1 more impactful.

"a punch or a slap or something equally enjoyable" - I don't think the rule of 3 is working here. Like, Will is trying to be funny, but it comes across as amateurish, I think. Perhaps I need to find another word, or completely restructure.

"after a while" generally just a weak phrase

The "Everyone admits..." dialogue sounds stilted. On the rewrite, I want it to sound more realistic.

word order / word choice in the final paragraph - I think Will's dark humour is lost when the paragraph ends on uninteresting phrasing like "without that part"