sometimes my brain just spontaneously reminds me of this dirk/roxy conversation, specifically "antediluvian", and just how much dirk info you get in this tiny segment
like
he's gay
he's not comfortable with the idea of being gay
but also he still has enough identity driven heart player nonsense in his brain that he needs it to be acknowledged, so he pushes roxy to say it out loud even though it makes him uncomfortable
when he's uncomfortable he gets even more aloof, and ridiculously wordy, throwing out things like antediluvian
antediluvian
which when you first read this conversation, if you happen to have an insane strider level vocab, or if you look it up, means the second definition here - in 2011 it wasn't too unusual for someone to claim gay was an outdated term, and he doesn't have to label it if he doesn't want to. okay, so he likes guys, whatever, let's move on and ignore that, i'm clearly a modern teenager who's moved past such ridiculous notions of sexuality needing "labels". which is an accurate assessment of dirk's character (at least how he sees himself)
but then you read it again, after the reveal of exactly what time period dirk and roxy are living in
and you realise no, he's being insanely literal right now
gay is an antediluvian term, according to the first definition. because the entire human race died in a biblical level flood, leaving only dirk and roxy. one of whom isn't gay, and one of whom doesn't like the word. the last time anyone used the word gay... was before the flood
and of course, no one but hal is there to get all the little language tricks dirk is throwing in there to cover for the fact that this is a thing he doesn't like about himself
but goddamn this little smartass
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Listen, you should never film strangers in public without their consent, but I swear there need to be fines or something for people who do that shit in some spaces. For example: I had to go to the ER last night, and some jerk filmed a woman who just came in and was clearly having an asthma attack. She immediately got to go back, and he was unhappy about that. Believe me, I get that it sucks having to wait when you're in pain, but you don't get to pick who deserves care when. The medical system in the US is a nightmare, and the ER could be the worst moment of someone's life. No one deserves to be recorded because some jack ass believes someone doesn't look like they need care.
This is fine to reblog. People who film strangers should be shamed if nothing else.
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When I was a kid, I regularly lost reading privileges for "having an attitude" and "acting out".
It wasn't as simple as being told not to read during other activities- one of the first times it happened, I remember being six years old, watching my stepfather pull fistfuls of books off my bookshelf and throw them to the floor in a heaping mess while I cried and asked him to stop.
It was weird. Every other adult I knew described me as exceptionally well-behaved, but at home, it was the opposite, and it was blamed on "learning bad habits from that shit you're reading".
Because I couldn't read at home, I spent all my free time at school in the library, reading with my friends.
When I grew up and moved away, I realized that my family life was toxic and abusive, and the "attitudes" I was being punished for were standing up for myself, standing up for my younger siblings, and resisting actual, real-life psychological abuse. Because I'd learned from what I'd read that my family wasn't normal, not like my parents said it was, and in my stories, the heroes were the people who spoke out when it was hard to.
It is insane to me that there are students right now who can't access books. It is insane that books are being outlawed. It is perverse that we are stealing away an entire generation's ability to contextualize their lives, to learn about the world around them, to develop critical thinking skills and express themselves and feel connected to the world or escape from it, whatever and whenever and however they need.
That is not how you raise a compassionate, thoughtful, powerful society.
That's how you process cattle.
It's fucking disgusting.
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a moment of silence for all us disabled ones who had to watch each of their friends move on with their lives without you and get jobs, go to school, have partners come and go, get engaged and move house etc.
shout out to my fellow struggling people who are still sitting in the same bedroom they grew up in. the ones who can't get a job, can't make new friends, can't find a partner or partners, can't move house and can't go to school.
I hope one day we can all find someone to at least sit with us in our rooms. I see you and I understand... and I'm sorry we can't be that person for each other
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Bisan has called for a global strike this week 1/21-1/28! Offer support in as many ways as you can, but don’t feel bad if you can’t do everything or do it differently than others. We all have a part to play.
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If your trans activism ignores, excludes, infantilizes, or actively targets trans men and transmasculine folks, you need to re-evaluate your activism and your stance as a trans ally.
You do NOT get to ignore and exclude trans men just “because they are men”, that’s antithetical to trans activism and actively harms the community as a whole. As a trans community, and as a greater queer community, we need to do better.
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he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.
except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?
at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.
except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.
about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.
he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.
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