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having-a-hyperfixate · 4 years ago

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Secret Reports

Gonna just edit this thing and put line breaks as I get more of them.

I’m also working on the rest of the completion, and will probably wander off in the middle of this to do Another Day, which will probably have its own post. I fully expect that to be sheer madness.

#1 So is it just me or is Mr H writing these reports to channel how extremely stressed he is. Cuz like. Mood. *gestures vaguely at blog* *gestures at this post specifically*

I. Hold up. Skeezy McFuckwad and Joshua did what resulting in which now. Excuse me. EXPLAIN!??! Joshua had a sneaky Game running with Skeezy that directly lead to Hazuki ordering Skeezy to destroy Shinjuku??? Is that what I am reading. Or possibly the order was already in the works, and then there was the Game, which ultimately just pushed that forward?? You can’t just say shit like that and not give details ffffffff.

#2 Mr H having about as much contempt for Shinjuku rules as I do I feel seen haha. Bogus indeed. I can’t remember if I said it in one of my other posts, of if it was in a group chat, but I made a comment somewhere how this ruleset doesn’t seem to work with the stated purpose of the whole Reaper’s Game system. Sweet validation.

#3 Not much to say except that if I had read this entire report when I actually got it, I would have been much more alarmed by all of the Replays Rindo has to do after that. I got it partway through week 3 but decided not to read it until I beat the game and then BAM it has this lovely tidbit about potentially being able to destroy the UG and RG.

#4 So, the business that the fandom refers to as the Long Game is known in universe by the higher-ups and Shibuya’s impurification, because it didn’t get ‘purified’ like Shinjuku (I object to that term but ok).

“The hierarchical freeze presumably stems from opposition to the impurification”

Skeezy wasn’t reprimanded when he arrived in Shibuya “possibly because most Higher Plane denizens still oppose Shibuya’s impurification”

ExcUSE ME. I. WHAT. In one of the secret reports for the first game, Mr H says something about the way things turned out be an ‘ideal parallel world’ according to the Angels. I guess he only meant the ones who didn’t want the city destroyed holy shit. That most of them didn’t want Joshua to change his mind and STILL DON’T is so massively fucked up I can’t. Dear Higher Plane, what the actual, ever loving fuck.

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#5 One hundred and four Games under Shiba. That’s… so. many. teams. Holy shit. And the teams we knew had seen at LEAST 30 teams go. And the three teams we saw weren’t small. So many people…

Also, “Minamimoto seems to be plotting something” is the funnies thing I’ve read in ages OF COURSE HE IS that’s what he DOES. XD That was some mood whiplash.

#6 I was so hung up on the lack of entry fee for so long you don’t even know. Like. Those were so important in the first one it was baffling to me that Shinjuku rules didn’t have anything similar. And then eventually I just decided that the whole Game wasn’t being run correctly and Shiba was clearly after something other than driving the improvement that’s supposed to be the point.

I would like more explanation on this ‘Rindo’s stagnation makes him perfect for time travel thing’. I kind of understand how his reactions being consistent would be helpful in being able to control where the timeline goes (also I just realized this further confirms that Angels remember the other timelines glad I wasn’t imagining that the Prime days are a blur), but what does he mean about being able to maintain abnormally high levels of imagination? (It might tell me later so don’t say anything lol)

“I can only hope I’m not overthinking things.” Oh, you aren’t. If I’m understanding everything correctly, Skeezy actually had two proxies. And poor Rindo managed to end up being proxy for both sides at the same time which is. A mess.

#7 Well, finally we know how Coco managed to get her hands on a taboo sigil. Plagiarism. Lmao. That at least makes sense and I can worry less about her being Something Else. I would like a word with whoever didn’t clean that up from Udagawa long enough for her to copy it though. That’s hilarious. Interesting that Mr H thinks it wasn’t a perfect recreation though, that something in him got changed. Once again, please elaborate. Please. *headdesk* What prompted Coco to just. Copy a taboo sigil though. Cuz that seems. Unusual.

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#8 Ok there’s a lot to unpack in this one. Namely, more Shinjuku rules. I would love to know if these are long standing rules or relatively recent. Cuz like. Did Shinjuku’s Game ever run in a way that would drive the kind of improvement that’s supposed to be the overall goal? Or has it always, or at least for a while now, been basically a meat grinder? The players that don’t clear that minimum bar probably just get erased outright, I would think. Actually, I’m confused. If normally, one team would get to leave and one team would be erased, wouldn’t that normally keep the average pretty level, so the Game would basically go on forever? Otherwise what do you do with all the other teams that are between first and last? I’m confused. It can’t be normal for teams to keep asking for more rounds. And what if the winning team says ‘everyone gets to go home’?

“The Conductor has yet to contact the Composer” and “it is possible he is unaware of the Higher Plane’s purification protocol.” I don’t know why, but I get the feeling these are important.

#9 These secret reports are really driving at the whole ‘Rindo just goes with it’ thing, aren’t they. Like, that was his thing, right? He has trouble making definitive decisions? So his arc culminates in that moment in Udagawa where he tells Hazuki that he’s going to take the risk and go back one more time, where he’s making that decision purely for his own sake. And here Mr H seems to be saying that prodding Rindo down the road to character growth is going to be a lot harder than it was with Neku back in the day. Which makes sense, I think. Confronting someone with the concept that other people have value is a lot less complicated than trying to get them to not only make a firm decision, but to choose something that is purely because it’s what they want and need, not because someone else thinks they should.

It’s a little alarming that this report implies that if the pin wasn’t absorbing the Dissonance caused by the Replays, the UG and RG would already be having a bad time. Yikes. This is the report for day 2 of the second week. We haven’t even gotten into the crazy time travel yet.

Aaaaand #10 is for completing the social network, so I have to actually go do Another Day. I want to read these in order; it is much less confusing that way.

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#10 I really shouldn’t read these late at night with a possible migraine coming on, they’re already confusing enough. The bits that made sense: Uzuki was acting Conductor damn girl. (Did she have to deal with Joshua and was he in Dignified Mode or Being a Shit Mode because that’s possibly an oof.) I had assumed Shiba was Shinjuku’s Conductor and then just kinda took over after they moved in but apparently not? And RIP the actual Conductor, apparently. Weird that so many Reapers made it but the Conductor, who by all rights should have, didn’t.

I am slightly concerned by the fact that there’s standard procedure for obliterating a district. That’s. Alarming.

I don’t think page 4 is continuing the thought on page 3. Fucking. Stop that. Don’t just say a thing and then start talking about something else I would like EXPLANATIONS. UGH. “Almost” he says. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that almost is a big deal, so why don’t you tell me about it.

Four cases where a district got into trouble before a final decision on whether to reset or not was made. And one was the last game. I wonder if that means whatever was wrong that made Joshua want to destroy it, or if the ‘imbalance’ was all the madness that happened after he agreed to one final Game with Kitaniji and the left the UG. Cuz in one of the first set of secret reports, it says that with the Composer absent, the UG is starting to fall apart as the rules are no longer valid, or something like that. I would definitely call that an imbalance.

#11 All I care about in this report is that Mr H wants to have a digital art bonding party with Kaie and that is so random why are you writing this down you absolute goober. The first page of this report is like ‘everyone is getting depressed’ and then just a wild left turn into dork-town. Lmao what.

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#12 I don’t think Mr H knows at this point (you get this report for W2D5’s Boss Noise) that the Ruinbringers are all Reapers. He’s gonna be mad. He does know what Shoka is up to though. He’s worried. Aw.

#13 It didn’t occur to me until this report hit me in the face with it, but they’ve set up a fantastic contrast between the two people Rindo knows from online. One is. not great, let’s say, because I did not take the reveal of Motoi’s true self well. The other is Shoka, and she’s a real friend. I now see what you did there. One relationship that’s a farce and one that really, really isn’t.

#14 Me, out loud, at 1:30 in the damn a.m.: WAIT. HOLD THE FUCK UP.

If getting Tsugumi out of Mr Mew required an Angel, how in the hell did Shiki manage to…? What. I’m very confused.

Also damn, saving Tsugumi was so important that Shinjuku’s Conductor died for it. Did he know what she could do, the whole visions thing? Or maybe that something was wrong with Shiba and it would take someone like her to potentially stop him in the future?

I still would like to now how the hell Tsugumi got her hands on Mr Mew. Especially since its apparently the ORIGINAL Mr Mew and she seems to have had him during the inversion? What.

#15 So… Inversions don’t always happen when a region is purified. I’m trying to wrap my brain around what a ‘complete loss of character’ in and area that’s had an Inversion could mean. Like… I think I get it, but my brain won’t make words, let alone sentences. Like when you go into a hotel room, and it doesn’t feel like a home, as opposed to when you go to a friend or family’s house, and it does? Kinda like that but it’s the whole district that’s just… blank? That’s kinda creepy.

If there are so many who think a ‘regular purification’ isn’t enough, the a) what does that even look like, b) is that what Joshua was going to do to Shibuya and c) is there an intermediate step between ‘normal’ and Inversion? I have been staring at this report for literally 15 minutes now.

#16 “I wonder how [Shiba] will feel about all this after he is allowed to return to his former self.” Yuuuuuup. I still Do Not Like him, but dude was borderline mind controlled so like. Yeah. And I did get to kill him once, so. As long as he minds his business and isn��t a total dick from here on, whatever. It all just sucks.

*facepalm* Well at least we got to being suspicious of Replay eventually. Why did it take you this long Mr H. Though I do wonder what Rindo would have been able to do without the interference. He had to have some kind of latent skill for the pin to react to him, right? I’m now going in circles mentally trying to puzzle out if Replay is like, a leveled up version of whatever Rindo would have naturally had, and regardless, where exactly it came from. Because the only time I can think of when anyone had a chance to mess with the pin was when he didn’t catch it in the prologue. And I’m pretty sure it was Joshua who picked it up. Aaagh I’m giving myself a headache.

I find it hard to believe skeezy would just yeet a random time travel pin out into the world. That seems both dumb as fuck and inefficient.

#17 “Some of them who know what I am occasionally try to contact me.” Lol so Kariya DOES know who Mr H is, I take it. Alright.

I’m having some kind of emotion that Wildkat still exists in a way for the Reapers, and that some of them still go there.

I just imagined Uzuki texting him like ‘plz make the Composer fucking do something kthx’ and I’ve got the giggles now oh dear

#18 HA! I was right! Minamimoto WASN’T in control when he attacked us! ‘Distortions within himself’ though, that’s concerning. Does that have to do with how he’s come back from the dead twice now? And how Coco’s copy of the sigil was apparently imperfect?

#19 I was about to say ‘who would target him for his abilities?’ and then my brain turned back on because duh. Shiba and them were looking hard for Neku, to the point that they flooded the RG with Player Pins in the hopes that he would pick one up and get sucked into the Game. A thing that occurred to me last night at 3:30 in the morning because I am a disaster: Mr H says that Minamimoto ‘seems different’. Neku says much the same thing after he comes back. So… Neku’s ability to Scan all the way down to someone’s Soul is potentially close to as sensitive as Mr H’s long distance ability. Which is a little insane. On top of the fact that he can use basically every psych imaginable no problem, survived a pact with a Composer for a full week, while said Composer was using crazy light beams which probably should have melted Neku from the feedback, and then almost singlehandedly defeated the Conductor while somehow inventing four-way fusion attacks. Kid is mad powerful. And he’s just a human. Like, the OG secret reports say that people always become dramatically stronger when they become Reapers. Reaper!Neku would be unstoppable.

“This would be much simpler if I could sit down and talk with him.” Okay, I laughed out loud. Like, loudly.

So… Shinjuku’s Composer… basically had his Conductor assassinated by skeezy. And because skeezy was messing with Shiba’s head, he could prompt Shiba to take the Reapers to Shibuya afterwards, to start doing it there too? Hazuki ordered Shinjuku’s purification so… Oh dear. I might have a few bones to pick with him.

OH NO. OOOOOH. OH NOOOO. SHINJUKU’S CONDUCTOR. HE WAS TSUGUMI’S BROTHER OH MY GOD. That is fucking tragic what the fuck. What the FUCK. Okay several things make sense now but OH MY GOD FUCKING HELL I WAS NOT READY FOR THAT. Shiki fixing Mr Mew allowed Tsugumi to free herself because her brother had already done part of the work, I take it? Along with us getting the Noise out of there? No wonder the Conductor stayed, he had to go get his sister… Shit, man.

…… Did Coco steal Mr Mew and take him to Shinjuku?????

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#21 isn’t very interesting, just a rehash of stuff we already knew.

#22 Okay Haz IS Shinjuku’s Composer. What. Why? I’m. So confused. Why would he intercede on our behalf, and why NOW? He was happy to throw his own city away, but stepped in to stop skeezy in Shibuya? And then tried to put it back together, and when Rindo was miserable he came to try to understand why. And then cajoled Rindo into having a breakthrough in his Character Development to boot.

Mr H says he has an idea why Haz did all this. And then doesn’t fucking say it because OF COURSE. *headdesk* That gets really old really fast, game.

I’m now running through The Last Day’’ to get the final two reports and this entire section with Haz is somehow even more confusing with context. God damn it Nomura.

#23 Even after he said we were on our on this time, he forced the Soul Pulvis to reform as Pheonix Cantus to make it easier for us to fight? Bro. What. Are all Composers just… walking contradictions? Aiya.

Shoutout to emotional support Joshua at the end there lol. I remember half-hysterically thinking ‘what are you just here for moral support?’ but ok. And I mean, it did work, Neku did manage to do the thing, so. *sigh* Speaking of, it is ABSOLUTELY INSANE that Neku manage to sync with the entire city without his brain melting. Remember at the beginning of the first game when he scans for the first time and has a massive sensory overload? Look at my boy, all grown up.

#24 Holy shit world building on how exactly people come back to life without everyone freaking out. I never thought I would see the day.

I still have so many questions but that was always going to be the case. The first game had so many things it left open as well. Agh. Time to start wearing new holes in my brain overthinking things.

#let's liveblog: neo twewy #neo twewy spoilers #secret reports

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dangermousie · 4 years ago

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Ok, granted I only skimmed it while I was cleaning up the MTL so maybe I missed copious scenes of Wolfie eating babies but why the hell did the censors have such insane heartburn over this drama? Sure he is not a saintly hero and there is some dark stuff but it’s in keeping with the rest of the period dramas.

* He kills her dad and household, not knowing they are hers, on orders of the King. Bad sure but the male lead of The King’s Woman did the same to the heroine and he wasn’t exactly an abused and gaslit feral child of nature (hell, he killed his OWN kid half-siblings!) And we are not going to get into Li “I made you my mark to kill your grandfather and cousins and enslave your tribe, how does a dinner and a movie sound” Chengyin of Goodbye My Princess. Yes, both these OTPs ended badly but changing the ending from the novel ending to what they made the drama ending should have covered it. No happily ever after for family killers, they all have to deal with woman they love dying in their arms, welcome to the club Wolfie!

* He got his extra fighting extra healing powers in a creepy magic evil lake. Occasionally it acts up due to Wolfbone flower or w/e. The poison in his blood can be calmed down by snake venom in Snake Lady’s blood so she gives him her blood a few times, at least once through letting him bite her when he’s way out of it. And soooo? Drinking snake venom and poisons and going to weird lakes to get powers and get cured is the staple of many a cdrama. Hell, just this year in Love in Between, shifu’s poison madness could only be soothed by the poison in Qing Ci’s blood and so Qing Ci let him chew on his arm like a steak on screen and nobody said boo.

* He is the King’s executioner and kills people who don’t deserve it when the King says so. On screen sometimes. If this was a ML disqualification there are too many dramas that could not air. I mean, Ji Ye took a hammer to a weaponless, helpless man on screen in Eagle Flag and that was a-ok (the man was supervisor at a mining camp Ji Ye was sent to, irony.) and as I said, tragic ending makes him pay for all the badness blah blah.

* They ride wolves/have battle wolves/he hulks out (transforms to some degree). Ummm so. Giant condors anyone? The hero of The Four being a LITERAL werewolf? The hero of Legend of Awakening and Legend of Yunxi both having weird powers/hulking out as a result or creepy experiments conducted on them by bad guys? That’s ok somehow.

* No sex please, we are British - but they are not British so why not allow those two to have a hint of their sex scene on screen? I mean in keeping with a lot of other cdramas, not something raunchy or anything. They aren’t committing adultery or anything.

* If he has poison in his blood that will eventually kill him, why is that such a taboo they cut all of it to as much as they could while still keeping the plot coherent (and sometimes not coherent like when MZX suddenly gets same blood out of nowhere.) I mean “I have poison in me that means I will die/go mad in x months” is a staple - three (!!!) separate characters have that in Love in Between.

* cutting stuff about evil daddy being evil. I mean he’s still evil but he’s eviler in the novel. Ummm why? They changed him from a historical emperor to a fake one and obviously did not change him to a nice guy so why?

* I am not even gonna get into them cutting out various torture/violence/beatings because in the year in which Love and Redemption aka BDSM period fantasy of your dreams came out, nothing else needs to be said about why it is absurd for them to have issues here (also Border Town Prodigal, which makes L&R look like kindergarten aired the year before The Wolf was supposed to and not just on a streaming platform, on actual TV!)

Anyway, I am gonna stop but I am officially puzzled. I expected him to maniacally laugh as he put old women and children to the torch or something by the censorship office reaction.

Honestly, other than the fact that the censors were made seriously uncomfortable by hormonal onslaught of Darren Wang as Wolfie and so freaked the fuck out, the only explanation (and probably the real one) is that they either got unlucky and drew a really picky censor or, even more likely, the makers/production of this are not one of the favored ones of the censorship office and/or weren’t able to smooth things over as much as they should and so they got the book thrown at them for things that other productions who the censors are more buddy buddy with would be allowed to get away with. At least this is how it would work in my former homeland and I see no reason why it would be different in China.

Oh well, thanks to the novel I have a fully coherent narrative and can fill in the gaps. But why the FUCK couldn’t I have the scene of Wolfie building her a set of swings, epically badly? (If they filmed that and cut it for time hoping to get on tv which they didn’t anyway ffffffff!!!!)

Gonna stop now.

#cdrama #cnovel #the wolf

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sigridkaffen · 5 years ago

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WARNING: Cross Stitch nerdery follows, I don't know how to add a cut from mobile so apologies for a long image filled post.

My Christmas present from the family:

I'm a bit scared by the size of this thing tbh (though yes, the fabric is rather more than I need, but it was the closest size I could find)

Here it is with my last WIP, the next largest project I ever started (and have been working on since university shut up don't look at me)

Ffffffff hell.

(that WIP is probably never going to be done either)

Alright after a lot of winding, all my threads are pretty and neat. I have never gone to this much effort for a cross stitch project before, jeebus:

AND I had to buy a new frame because my other one wouldn't fit this monster. QSnaps weren't a thing when I started cross stitch 20 godforsaken years ago (holy crap I sound old) so you finally dragged me into the 21st century of embroidery at least.

Here it is all ready to go:

Starting in the middle, mainly because I haven't got a fucking clue where the edges will be just yet.

And one month of work later, we have this:

Progress, woo! A few stained glass panels and part of Aziraphale's coat.

I do about 20-30 min most nights, so I estimate my two preschoolers will be finishing their bachelor degrees by the time I'm done.

The Good Omens Cross Stitch, by Darcy Lindbergh. Get after it.

@forineffablereasons

#good omens #good omens cross stitch #cross stitch #forineffablereasons #it's my emotional support craft #i can't wait to stitch their lil faces

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preraphaelitepunk · 6 years ago

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Fictober19 Day 15: Obligatory Crepes Scene

Prompt #15: That’s what I’m talking about.

Fandom: Good Omens

Characters: Aziraphale, Crowley

Rating: General

Warnings: None

“Tell me this,” Crowley said. “How exactly were you planning on ordering these crepes — the ones you simply had to have, the ones that nearly got you killed because you came over here dressed like an aristocratic ninny? Your French is appalling. It’s execrable.”

Aziraphale shrugged. “I usually get by with pointing and gestures.”

“’S’funny, though. I’d’ve thought you’d be fluent.”

“I can read it, of course. Speaking it, though,” here, the angel shuddered delicately. “That’s another matter entirely. Too many silent letters, too nasal. Too French.”

“You remember you’re not actually English, right, angel? You don’t have to adopt their national rivalries.”

This earned him a cool glare. “Don’t be ridiculous, Crowley. I simply think that a word should be spelled how it sounds.”

“Right. Because English spelling is so straightforward. It isn’t even standardized; it’s all phonetic, with all these extra Es and Us and effs for esses. Can’t even hiss properly in writing, just gets spelled as ‘ffffffff.’ Hardly the same effect. And don’t even get me started on ‘ye’ being pronounced ‘the.’”

“Ooh, that’s quite interesting, really. The wye in ‘ye’ is actually a descendant of the thorn letter —”

Crowley tuned out and just enjoyed watching the angel. Even in his ridiculous revolutionary getup, he was adorable, and the way his eyes sparkled as he lectured about the history and theory of spelling lit up the room ten times better than the candle on their table. He was such a dork, and Crowley could never let him know how much he loved him, but it was enough just to sit and bask in his delightful, silly, challenging, maddening presence.

Well, it wasn’t really enough, but it would have to do.

They were sitting in the creperie, and Crowley had just ordered for them in easy, colloquial French: crepes with sugar and lemon for Aziraphale, and a strong coffee for himself. The restaurant was surprisingly swanky, given the revolution going on outside. There were clean tablecloths, real silver cutlery, obsequious staff. Crowley guessed that a lot of chefs for the aristos had suddenly found themselves out of work, and were recreating the upper-class dining experience as best they could for the masses. He’d even had to miracle a last-second reservation to get their table.

“— and as to your complaint about lack of standardization, I have high hopes that Mr. Johnson’s excellent ‘dictionary,’” Aziraphale somehow managed to pronounce the quotation marks, “will lead to great innovations in the field.”

“Well, as a demon, I probably should be on the side of spelling chaos, but I’m also incredibly slothful, so anything that makes my life easier is fine by me.”

“I thought you didn’t read, dear.”

Crowley waved a dismissive hand. “Not as such, no. Not a big reader, me. But it’s not like I’m illiterate, angel. Just have better things to do.”

A waiter arrived with their food, distracting the angel from whatever huffy rejoinder he was about to make about the joys of reading. Aziraphale leaned over his crepes and gave a long, savoring sniff; it was like a benediction. “Absolutely delightful.”

Enjoying the heat from his coffee cup soaking into his fingers, Crowley watched as the angel cut off a bit of the crepes and brought it to his mouth. Pink lips parted, accepted the fork inside, closed, curled in a blissful smile. “Mmmm. Marvelous. Completely worth the trip.”

“Yeah, I’d wanted to talk about that, angel. Try to be a little more circumspect in future, okay?”

“Whatever do you mean?” Aziraphale’s bright eyes had turned slightly worried.

“I mean don’t go wandering blithely into potentially deadly situations. Be a little more careful.” Secretly, Crowley adored playing the dashing hero, bursting in at the last second to save the angel in distress, but deep down, it also terrified him. What if, one day, he couldn’t get there in time? What if he missed his cue altogether? It would save Crowley a lot of wear and tear on his nerves, and a lot of sleepless nights, if the angel would stick to getting into less deadly perils. Tripping and letting Crowley catch him, saving him from a nasty fall, sounded about right: just enough danger to get the adrenaline going, minimal risk of discorporation, and with the added bonus of getting to hold Aziraphale in his arms, however briefly.

“Oh. Well, you turned up to save me, so everything’s all right. Here, have a bite of my crepes! They really are most excellent, and the sauce —”

“That’s what I’m talking about, Aziraphale! Everything turned out okay this time, but you can’t always count on me happening to be in the neighborhood to save your hide. You just go waltzing into these ridiculous situations, and one of these days it’s going to get you discorporated.”

Aziraphale softened. “You worry about me?”

“Wha — ngk, smrfl — no, of course I don’t worry about you. ‘M a demon, we don’t worry about other people. Entities, whatever. I’m just saying it would be inconvenient if you were discorporated. Who knows how long they’d take to issue you another body, and in the meantime, what happens to the Arrangement? I’ll be stuck doing all the work.”

“Of course, dear.”

“Whoever came up with ‘fools rush in where angels fear to tread’ obviously never met you. I can’t think of any blessed danger you wouldn’t meander into, your nose in a book or your head filled with thoughts of crepes.”

“Pope.”

This non sequitur stopped Crowley mid-rant. “Pius VI? What about him? Not very popular with the rebellion, I know.”

“Alexander Pope, the writer. Essay on Criticism. He’s the one who wrote that ‘angels fear to tread’ thing you mentioned. And I thought he was a very charming and witty man, and admirable. He overcame so many difficulties in his life.”

“Please don’t list them all, angel.”

Aziraphale huffed, then relented and glanced warmly up at Crowley through his lashes as he cut another bite of crepes. “Oh, all right, I won’t. And I’ll try to be more circumspect in the future.”

Somehow Crowley doubted this, but he felt a little better. Aziraphale would try to be careful, and Crowley would keep a discreet eye on his activities so he could intervene when the angel’s definition of “careful” diverged a little too widely from how his blessed Samuel Johnson’s dictionary defined it.

For now, though, he could relax a bit, enjoy his coffee — the French had gotten rather good at coffee, actually — and watch the angel eat.

[On AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/20843936/chapters/50051924]

#fictober19 #good omens #good omens fanfic #ineffable husbands #ineffable spouses #crepes #everyone must write at least one good omens crepes scene #here is mine #fluff #i wrote this instead of sleeping #so if it's inane and pointless i apologize

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cooltrainererika · 6 years ago

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Alt-talia: Superbia

[Summary: The Kingdom of Poland, the Rzeczpospolita Polska, Bulwark of the Catholic faith, a grand empire whose power knew no parallel. The kingdom had accepted David into his arms, as he would many others, and he watched him grow, his strong will and generosity shining despite the odds against him. However, this man had a fatal flaw... His pride and hubris.]

Sigh… Whelp, it’s the deadline, and It’s late. Also it’s apparently the day the Berlin Wall fell. Maybe I should have released one of my three Germany fics today lol.

Okay, so I came up with this idea and wanted to submit one last story for hetaween; this is 10/29: Tragic. I’m ashamed that I didn’t write it earlier, since this prompt was also absolutely ripe for Alt-talia material, though that’s also what made it hard at first. Because… Really, “tragedy” as a prompt for historical Hetalia is basically an endless fountain of content. I can come up with like 5 different ideas not including this one, all starring different characters, off the top of my head. But I decided to narrow it down to two, one based on Poland, one on China (especially since Alt-China’s only appearances so far have solely been of him being a shouting, ranting jerk), kind of fitting since both of them have made cameos in previous entries. I tend to really like writing those two so it’s actually kind of unusual they’ve only made cameos so far lol. I also wanted to write up multiple versions of Poland’s fic from many perspectives and upload the version I like most, as I wasn’t quite sure who the POV character should be… I was thinking Lithuania as another POV, or Poland himself maybe. The beginnings of those are still in my Docs files.

But then it turned into this MONSTER of a fic.

I swear, you guys, it wasn’t meant to be this long. Because boy this thing is enormous. I’m talking NINE FREAKIN’ PAGES in Google Docs. I guess I like writing about Commonwealth Poland way too much. And I got way too caught up in research. Especially since I almost have two midterms and an overdue project and it’s 10:30 PM on a Saturday and FFFFFFFF-. This is why I occasionally still wonder if I should have put an application for a history major at a higher priority than Social Work…

I wonder if I should be giving out this much detail before I’ve even officially started the series lol… I might have to take these down if I ever formally start it. I hope I’ll be able to write the one about China sometime, but now that seems unrealistic. …And yaaay, a Hetalia Emblem idea is already brewing in my mind as I’m writing this. Shut up, imagination, let me study goddamit!

Once again, I must reiterate, Alt-talia is very, very different from canon. It’s much darker and morally gray for one, but the characters can also be really different. This will ESPECIALLY be seen here; seriously, take your preconceived notions of Feliks as a character and throw it into the fire. We won’t need them where we’re going. Also do it for most of the characters who appear here even more so. Poland at least may slightly resemble himself from canon in some aspects, but others are barely recognizable.

Also there’s going to be a character I need to explain; “David”, the POV character, will become obvious, but “Lipka” is a personification of Lipka Tatars (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lipka_Tatars). She’s female for now, though she fights as a man. Whether I should personify her is… questionable, since if she’s personified I might possibly have to personify every minority group ever, but I’ve come to really enjoy her as a Commonwealth member. Also I want to see the reactions of those bigots who use Poland to justify Islamophobia. Also her human name is Zahira

For more exposition, which I’m going dump here:

I’m still not quite sure how marriage will work, especially ones like the two seen here. And I don’t know if this is how David would view things, or if David is written correctly, and there’s going to be spots in research since I’m on a time limit. Still, I hope this is right. Though I tried to elaborate less on Poland and David’s relationship since it’s not the topic of focus here, I’m definitely going to depict the same events in Alt-talia sometime with emphasis on it (in the meantime the story “God Lives Here” in the Hetalia Kink Meme is kind of close and excellently-written, albeit it’s slash which I tend to dislike, though it wasn’t too in my face, and it glosses over the majority of the events here).

And there’s inconsistent use of names, especially concerning Belarus; I thought she wouldn’t really have a country name, but it seems that the name “Byelorussia” was in use from pretty early on. Also she and Lithuania collectively refer to themselves as Lithuania often, as to why Lithuania is sometimes specifically clarified to be Tolys or called “Tolys”. And The Church is written like that because that’s also a character; i.e. the current Vatican City.

“Union-Brotherhood” is a Real Union (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Real_union), and possibly dynastic union, between two male Realms. Because… come on, an officially sanctioned same-sex marriage? In the middle freakin’ ages/early modern age? And they’re called “Realms”, not “Nations”, because the idea of a “nation-state” as we know it wasn’t really a thing until the Treaty of Westphalia. Countries were basically amorphous blobs at the time. At best. A “common palace” is where everyone in a big multi-ethnic country resides for varying amounts of time; they have their own separate regional residences. How long they spend there is dependent on how much integration there is and how cosmopolitan the country is. Maybe.

Also I change around some of the eye colors, Ukraine has smaller breasts, and other appearance changes may happen. And I use words that may not have been used often in these time periods, but it’s hard to research stuff like that especially for countries that aren’t England.

“National Resolve” (or “National Adrenaline” in more modern stories) is the plot device that enables nations to keep on fighting wars despite being beat up to the point that any human would be immobilized by pain. That should be it for exposition I hope.

And I found the title is probably a bit inaccurate… but oh well. It does kind of fit part of it anyway. I debated between it and “Broken Wings” or something like that though.

Sorry for the long author’s note, let’s finally send off hetaween! And I’m sorry it has to be so depressing! Thanks for everything, @/hetaween!

Let’s go!

Superbia

When David truly came to know him more than as a stop in his trade route, it was as if God had sent him.

It was when he was deep in a forest he thought had heard the wind whisper in his ear, "rest here". Upon following the voice was when he bumped into him.

And he had told him, as he was about to leave, “Hey, you can stay!”, the young boy’s snow-white eagle, Biały, perched on his shoulder.

"Polska" was what he called himself; it indeed almost sounded like “Polyn”, “rest here”. So rest there was what he did, and that was what he called him.

The boy welcomed him with open arms, and there, David found a new real home. Despite not having much to spare himself, he provided him with books, a space to live, a place to study, even a small shed for Achi, his goat; even with all the persecution in other kingdoms, he had at least some confidence that Poland would give him a place to rest, a place to go back to.

Sure, he had many other places he considered home, where there were often at least a few kindhearted human Christians he could trust, but it was a truly miraculous feeling to be welcomed by the kingdom himself. He didn’t make it too apparent for singling himself and his good fortune out for attention would attract the Evil Eye, but he made his gratitude clear.

He was put to work in the mint as an engraver and technical supervisor, even giving the coins his own touch in the form of Hebrew markings.

He watched the boy grow, as he grew as well. Initially, the kingdom was still fragmented, young, and not much to write home about; easy prey for Mongol Empire and her dear old son.

The mother and later her son caused him much grief, looting his villages and stealing his grain. But one day, David came back to a beaten-looking, yet joyful-looking Poland, who, with a grin wide enough to show off his missing teeth, proudly informed him that he had finally beaten the Khanate back.

“He caught us by surprise, but I kicked ‘em in the behind and the skurwiel ran with his tail between his legs! You should’ve seen it!”

Poland even defied The Church in his efforts to convince him that David and his people were somehow evil, that he drank the blood of Christian children and other outrageous rumors.

“Pssh, 'childish rebellion’, really? As if Christ himself wasn’t a Jew!”

Of course, it couldn’t always be sunshine; after all, the plague could twist any Realm’s soul in the worst of ways, and even if it affected Poland less than everyone else - possibly thanks to him copying some of his customs even - it still nonetheless wasn’t kind on him. He suffered the usual accusations of poisoning wells, of black magic, of conspiracy, shrieked at him in a voice cracking with desperation, confusion, and immaturity.

Their relationship was rocky after, until David started spending longer months in Iberia. After all, he was invited there, they wanted him there, and Muslims were generally safer to be around than Christians in his experience.

But when Spain expelled him, as did Portugal, albeit somewhat reluctantly, his old friend was waiting for him.

His true home in Europe, as welcoming as the Italian states could be, was, and remained, Poland.

At this time, he opened an inn in the then almost two century old Warsaw to earn some extra money. Because of course, no one could have too much money, and he still had to pay taxes. He shared his studies in Andalusia with his favorite host country; the man was smarter than he seemed, and they could argue over things ranging from the nature of God to how far an unladen swallow could carry an apple for what were apparently hours.

About half a century later, after fighting alongside each other to defeat their common enemy the Teutonic Order, a long-standing dynastic union with neighboring Lithuania became a real Union-Brotherhood. While the other half was reluctant and defiant at first, they soon became inseparable.

Every time David returned to the land he saw his friend had grown and matured, and after joining with his newfound family he truly blossomed, shedding off the last downy vestiges of adolescence to become a become a real man. The white eagle spread its wings across the heart of Europe, prospering and proud.

In his borders, he welcomed all; Lithuania bought with him, in addition to his Orthodox wife Byelorussia, the former knightly order Livonia, and the small duchy Courland and Semigallia, the loyal, warrior-minded tatar Lipka, and despite her Muslim faith, he accepted her as he did him. The Lutheran Prussia didn’t speak much to them, but not for Poland’s lack of trying; perhaps he was still sour over Grunwald or his pious nature made him see them as overly lavish, but even so at times he did not seem to mind them as much.

He and Lithuania, but Poland especially, were a bit of an anomaly in the continent and quite possibly the wider world; they saw themselves as more than simply the land their king claimed to own, something that, aside from them, only certain city-states in Italy and Poland’s close friend Hungary - whom he was brought closer together with precisely because of this - could also claim. They belonged to their nobility, the szlachta, and unlike other feudal Realms they never claimed otherwise, wearing it as a badge of honor.

David remembered warm, joyful memories of hearty, lavish banquets. After all, as Poland liked to say, “A guest at home is God at home”; it was only fair they pulled out the best for their guests. He remembered how Poland and Lithuania - Tolys specifically - would try to outdrink each other, or how Poland would always inevitably get into loud, drunken brawls at the end of them, and how he or Zahira would drag them both to their beds after they tired themselves. Boorish perhaps, but even David could not help but smile at their jolly festivities.

Their normal meals were quite a treat as well; the aromas of bread, pierogi, roast potatoes, spices, onions, meats, berries, chees, wine, beer, and so many other delectable scents filling the air of the kitchen, one he had spent some time in as well, where he had taught the man how to make gefilte fish, stews and bagels, and shared latke - or draniki as she called them - recipes with Byelorussia. Their penchant for pork and the awful practice of eating meat and dairy together did make him wish to avert his eyes at times, albeit, but at least he had someone to relate with in Lipka regarding their mutual disgust of the dreaded hog as their lords devoured its flesh. They even made the effort to take his needs into account, thinking of ways to make kosher pierogi so he wouldn’t be left out during Pierogi Night.

Their palace was one of wonders, full of priceless art, some commissioned from Florence and Venice, who were all too happy to accept his offers, and their various artists; and especially tapestries, rugs, and silk embroidery imported from Turkey’s Empire and Persia. He found Turkey’s looks of amazement whenever he placed orders to him to be amusing, though he didn’t blame him. They often met directly; in fact, despite their common clashes, Poland was probably one of the few who viewed the Muslim empire with respect instead of as a faceless barbarian.

And in the walls of this palace, apparently his and his host’s arguing and debates could be heard echoing even from many distances away.

David kept Poland’s books, wrote his letters, and managed his economic affairs; between this, studying, and managing his inn, he was busy whenever he stayed in the Commonwealth, but he didn’t care, for it was proof that he was wanted here. This was home.

Over the years, he became more bombastic, his voice more bold, his laughs bigger and louder. Every time he visited the Realms to the west, he would enter the capital city with a flair; letting his crimson delia swoosh behind him or throwing the sleeves of his fur-trimmed kontusz back, with his knee-high boots, loose pants, and the heron plumage in his fur cap, the golden horseshoes he fastened loosely onto the hooves of his prized white Arabian Fortis swinging conspicuously with every step, he turned heads anywhere outside of his borders he went, standing out like a bright red poppy amidst a sea of weeds among the other Realms.

It was all very unusual for a European Papist, especially with how almost Turkish he looked. He was convinced that he was the descendant of Sarmatia after all, even if he didn’t have any memories of them; he had to look the part. At least, what the ancient Sarmatia perhaps looked like.

As did others for that matter. David remembered very well how he had prodded him into dressing as a Janissary and singing for him on multiple occasions. He wished he didn't do that, but argue as he might, Poland got what Poland wanted.

When here, he always wore his black żupan; he almost cried despite himself when Poland gifted it to him one day, a big, proud grin on his face. The message was clear; he was as part of the family as any of the others.

Yet despite his attitude, one which made him fear for him at times, but yet even he could not help but be swept up in, he was also pious; he followed Lent strictly, thanked the Lord everyday for his fortune, and was unwavering in his duty to and servitude to Him. Even if David did not agree with how he chose to show his devotion to the Heavenly Father, it evoked much respect from him.

As he entered battle or trained, imagining his enemies before him, the man would always announce his presence: “Stop right there, intruder! I am the Servant of Heaven! The Defender of Christ! The Bulwark of Catholicism! The White Eagle of the Lord himself! It is I, Rzeczpospolita Polska!”, or variations thereof, in Latin, dramatically posing as he did. Often, he would make Lithuania join him, and once they rehearsed for hours to get a line right. After a military reform, he started putting giant artificial wings on his back. It was very much like him.

Meanwhile, David stayed back, putting his knowledge to work to help heal the soldiers.

As he looked at the proud, valorous man from behind the lines, he seemed so larger than life, so fearless, so powerful, the sun reflecting off of his flaxen blond hair and his lance held high; and while his eyes weren’t the most vibrant of greens, the fire that burned in them made it so they may as well have been the brightest of emerald. In front of his friends, it burned with a bright passion for life, in front of his enemies, with a terrifying, deadly blaze. Despite his lean appearance, he carried himself in a way befitting of a man of much greater girth, his confidence unwavering.

Of course, he had the power to back up his boasts, for his hussars were among the best soldiers in the lands. After all, such geography that left one wide open to invasion was no place for the weak. Unlike those such as France or Austria or the Realms of the British Isles, Poland couldn’t rely on geography to protect him, no mountains nor rivers nor ice nor ocean, only his own strength. And to show for it he could defeat a great many of his peers personally in shows of raw strength, whether it be arm-wrestling or brawls or duels; he would have quite possibly broken poor England’s arm if he were human when the island kingdom had foolishly challenged him, and he even managed to narrowly win against Spain. He even bragged that he could defeat France, though that match-up never materialized.

During the Thirty Years War, while he officially backed Austria and fought on his side for the most part, he had also at at least one point fought for virtually all except for Turkey on both sides, becoming the trump card of the highest bidder; and there were many bidders. The only reason Sweden was knocked out of that war before he could even get involved was that Poland was there to block him and kick him back to his peninsula, and Poland made sure everyone knew it. Lithuania didn’t even need to lift a finger.

They even invaded Russia and captured Moscow, and the boy would have accepted if King Sigismund wasn’t an idiot so fixated on converting him to Catholicism. As while there was something foreboding about the boy, and he had been going through rapid, noticeable growth spurts lately, he was still poor, dirty, and lonely, much unlike the healthy, sturdy Poland.

He seemed so invincible. He could do no wrong.

However, he was prideful.

Extremely prideful, and full of hubris.

A sin, David knew, and one which attracted the Evil Eye; a danger he had warned him of many times over, but one Poland dismissed.

And there was one member of his family he had left in the dust; his very own wife.

They knew her as simply Polish Ruthenia, or Iryna, Natallia’s older sister, an admittedly attractive woman with hair as golden as her endless fields of grain.

They had gotten married immediately after he and Lithuania had become Union-Brothers. At first, they were a happy couple; not clearly in love like Tolys and Natallia, but amicable at least, and with a woman of her looks and resources, he was a happy man.

Indeed, Poland put her land to good use; he told David and his people to open mills and breweries all over the land, and so they did. His people created entire towns from scratch. He was Poland’s magnate, middleman and intermediary with the peasants, carrying the grain to the Baltic Sea ports where they would be shipped out to the rest of Europe. Profits grew exponentially, and their grain found their way to tables across Europe; Iryna was quite impressed with the efficiency of their combined efforts.

However, that soon changed. She grew anxious over her nobles imitating him, especially as they started converting to Catholicism and speaking his language, forgetting hers. She began to feel increasingly used.

Once, David heard the sisters arguing outside Natallia’s room. He could hear her exasperation from outside the heavy wooden door.

“Come on Irunya, it will be fine…”

“Fine?! Why are you so naïve, Natasha?! Can’t you see?! This is why we can’t trust heathens…”

In hindsight, even if he wouldn’t find himself forgiving her anytime soon because if it, she had tried so hard to get her husband’s respect back to the equal status it had been; she tried so hard to convince him of her Sarmatism - even if that did mean that they would become technically related - she tried to tell him about how her peasants were starting to become tired, but he never listened. He merely laughed, telling her “Good one, Irunya.”, dismissing her concerns. And Poland had admittedly been dismissive of some of his reports regarding the peasants as well.

After all, was he ever wrong?

Eventually, she snapped.

Cossacks and peasants rampaged across the land, rioting, looting, pillaging, their long-suppressed rage erupting in a furious frenzy.

Their target; szlachta… and Jews.

For he, to her, was Poland’s pet, his lapdog.

Even with all of Poland’s power, he had underestimated her in his arrogance; they attacked relentlessly, tearing a trail of blood and carnage in their path. Among their victims many of Poland’s best men, and then, their king himself.

He tried to protect David from her wrath. He tried to save as many of his people as he could. He remembered how he had shielded a young girl from the mob with his own body as they slashed at his back.

David could not help but be apologetic, as perhaps this was his fault after all, but brave Poland never relented in his friendship even then.

Yet it was then, when it seemed things could not possibly worsen, three years after the rebellion began, Sweden decided to invade; a war for the throne was in order, and he smelled blood.

They went straight for his heartland, and it also just so happened that Sweden had been unable to pay his mercenaries lately, and they were hungry for anything of any worth.

And all around them, the underpaid, overworked mercenaries saw rich cities, filled with treasures and the fruits of civilization.

The Swedish forces ransacked the cities the Cossacks had not, and they could barely put up a fight, losing ground rapidly by the day. They struck Poznań, Lublin, Kraców, even Warsaw, killing men, women, children, and animal alike, taking everything that they could lay their hands on.

Sweden himself likely did not engage in such barbaric behavior - perhaps his young retainer boy would have - though he surely wasn’t unhappy about all the new loot he could bring home.

Not even a year later, Russia struck from the east on Iryna’s - no, the Hetmanates’ - behalf “as is the duty of a brother and fellow Orthodox”.

As always, their blessed and accursed geography did not help them, funneling the enemy directly to their heartlands as the armies and horses marched across flat lands and fields.

Despite putting up a fight, Lithuania - both of them - was soon captured, leaving Poland screaming after them as soldiers held him down and they were dragged away, leaving only him and Lipka, alone, to fight; now for his very Union-Brotherhood as well, for a certain pair of powerful Hetmen had signed the Lithuanias away to Sweden with Tolys’ alleged consent, scheming to sever their Union for good.

“It’s the only way to be safe from Russia. It’s the only way...” Tolys had repeated in mantra, his teeth clenched, before he and Byelorussia were dragged away. But it was clear that he was trying to convince himself as much as he was Poland or Byelorussia, if not more so.

From the north, south, and east, enemies tore at him, looting, burning, and pillaging wherever they went.

But all was not lost; in order to preserve the balance of power, Russia eventually relented.

It was not much later Sweden started besieging Jasna Góra; it was the greatest mistake he could ever make.

David didn’t think he had ever seen such vengeance, such utter rage in Poland’s eyes after the fact that Sweden had attacked the sacred monastery was able to sink into his mind and he readied Fortis, the reins clenched in his hands.

And across his lands, the people shared his rage.

They reclaimed town by town, city by city.

Finally, by allying with their old enemies the Crimean Khanate, popular uprising, clever strategy, dumb luck, sheer force of will, or perhaps all of those combined, and fueled by pure rage and vengeance, they finally managed to drive the invaders off.

After all, the great Sarmatia was never one to give up.

However, the utter heartbreak David saw on Poland’s face as he stared at what remained of his cities, his fields, and his now barren, ransacked palace was unbearable. That may have been the first time since the plague he saw him cry not out of passion, but out of despair.

“Hey… what can we do, right? Come on, my companions, what is it with the long faces?! Come on, we won! We won… Kurwa, we won...”

It was from then on Poland started walking with a limp.

And from that day on, their palaces seemed to have become much colder, less welcoming. The common palace was much lonelier too; not only was Iryna gone, but Prussia had completely left, though it wasn’t as if he hadn't preferred his larger personal union with Brandenburg over being their vassal duchy for years by now anyway.

He started lashing out at Lutherans and other Protestants, seeing in them possible traitors, as indeed many had collaborated with Sweden, they were too much like Sweden, but yet some of whom were innocent; eventually, he demanded they be removed entirely, many of them scholars and valuable assets to their economy.

The Lutherans cried and grieved as they bade farewell to their lands, forced off their homes of generations by the spears of their country's soldiers, only carrying what they could carry on their backs and load into carriages, leaving for realms who would perhaps welcome them.

It was eerily familiar to David; at least he wasn’t an active collaborator or traitor to anyone, even against the most vile of kingdoms, despite him being accused of it constantly, but the Jew still feared for the fate of his people.

He once stumbled across Byelorussia crying into Tolys’ arms over similar concerns, for despite agreeing to follow Papal authority, she still followed the rites of her siblings. Lipka was much more trusting of him; however, even she showed some anxiety with her standing. They used to be able to rely on him for religious tolerance. Now, that trust had been shattered.

That man they once knew wasn’t completely dead however; his bombastic demeanor never ceased, even as he limped and at times clutched his chest in pain.

Just before the Deluge, he had introduced Liberum Veto; the ability of one noble to call off a decision in the Sejm if he were to deem it unfit, for all nobles were equal. A very Poland idea indeed.

A very Poland idea both in its idealism and its arrogance.

It didn’t take long for his neighbors to smell even more blood in the water.

Sabotage via corruption became frustratingly ubiquitous. Oh, of course no one admitted to it, but why else would it be that as soon as anyone was close to making any decision, some cur had to raise their hand and shout “Sisto activitatem!”? Seemingly every time, without fail?

Or perhaps, they were complacent?

“This is all fine... We are the greatest realm in Europe after all! Change is not needed now! Yes, this is all fine..."

Poland muttered to himself, as another "Sisto activitatem!" rung through the air.

Once, when they were at war against Turkey, they had started recruiting tatars as mercenaries.

However, many of these tatars were brutes, burning and pillaging villages that were not their targets.

Poland of course fired them, and started to distrust tatars…

Including Lipka.

It had started with unusual suspicion and apprehension. However, he was soon throwing abuse at her, accusing her and her men of horrible crimes, questioning her loyalty, and it all escalated until he, using that as reasoning, against the Lithuanias’ begging, slashed her rights and salary.

Lipka could only stand in shock as her employer she had served loyally for centuries lashed out at and tore into her. She had chosen him and Lithuania when the Muslim tatar Crimean Khanate had tried to tempt her into joining with them to fight against her employers, for they were more family to her than the Khanate would ever be, shared blood or no, she had stuck with them through all his wars, highs, and lows, and yet now Poland was treating her as a criminal in her own home.

He gave her a halfhearted apology a year later to quiet her complaints, but when her overdue salary never saw the light of day, she decided she had had enough.

One by one, Lipka Tatar garrisons in the Polish Crown Lands mutinied.

Much like with Iryna, Lithuania was spared; however, unlike with Iryna, David was as well. Their point was clear; the problem was Poland and Poland alone.

Then, they left for Turkey, leaving an apology letter addressed to only Lithuania and Byelorussia. Once again, another face disappeared from the common palace.

However, it was then a respected Hetman by the name of Jan Sobieski, who had worked with Lipka during The Deluge, made Poland reflect on what he had done, and soon, he was filled with embarrassment and shame for failing his friend. So when they had come across the land Turkey had assigned Lipka to, the good Hetman went to convince her to come back in Poland’s place.

It appeared that Lipka had found working for Turkey to be unfavorable; she had been spoiled by Poland and Lithuania’s kindness, and was relieved that she could return home. They embraced, their bond stronger than before.

A few years later, Sobieski was elected as their king, and they all celebrated, in their typical style of lavish banquets and dance. And for the first time in what felt like forever, they were happy. Oh, so happy.

It was not long after they received a cry for help from Holy Rome and Austria; Turkey was attacking Vienna.

Poland and his forces rushed to the rescue, his wings rattling behind him, shouting “I am the Servant of Heaven! The Defender of Christ! The Bulwark of Catholicism! The White Eagle of the Lord himself!”, his lance and banner held high. Beside him, Lipka and her men, a sprig of straw in their hats; no longer would they be mistaken for other tatars.

And with a force a fraction of their size and Lipka’s units’ arrows, they absolutely annihilated the Turkish forces.

David could have only imagined how much of a sight it was to behold when the winged hussars had arrived, coming down the mountainside in an epic stampede.

That day, David once again saw that Poland he had admired all those years; the valorous man who shined brightly in the heart of the continent. Quick, brutal, even rather terrifying it was as well, but it was a testament to the awesome power of the Polish realm.

Once the Lithuanias had arrived, the battle was already finished, and they were greeted by a crushing hug from Poland.

“We won! I’ve still got it! I still got it!”

Not that he wasn’t sympathetic towards Turkey; after all, he was one of the few other than Poland who weren’t absolutely horrid to him on a somewhat consistent basis. But he could confirm upon speaking to him after the fact that he could only respect the winged, horseback warriors who dared to charge straight into a formation of Janissaries and make him feel genuine fear for the first time in centuries, even if he lamented the massive losses and that he could not advance further as he wished.

Poland was praised, he was honored, his name was celebrated; he had saved Christiandom, he had saved Europe, the White Eagle’s wings weren’t clipped just yet. He was still great.

“I am not dead yet! For this is just the beginning!”

After the fact, they even managed to take back much of Iryna’s land, though Iryna herself remained on the other side of the Dneiper, watching them resentfully.

However, it was only a spot of hope that proved to be ultimately meaningless.

Civil wars, petty squabbles between szlachta, efforts to reform his medieval, outdated economy that continued to fail.

For he had never thought to change; and now, it was too little, too late. And even those efforts were lost in the petty bickering of the szlachta; arguments he still engaged in as he usually did, as if ignoring the wider issues and getting lost in the petty bickering like always would make them go away. Or perhaps, the victory was a curse disguised as a blessing; he had an example to point to when he bragged about being the bulwark of Christiandom.

Yet his scars never healed. His limp worsened. And the bribes turned for the worse. The most major “sponsor” being Russia’s court; ironic, considering how they meddled in Russia’s court not even a century ago. The only time they got anything done was because Russia was holding him at swordpoint.

He once again grew afraid of outside forces. Only the Commonwealth mattered any more. Even if a possible “traitor” was one of their own.

Once, on a visit, David heard Poland and the Lithuania couple in the middle of an angry, terrifying argument that sent a shiver up his spine, Zahira and Livonia trying to calm them down with no success.

“You’re Papist! PAPIST! We are God’s gift to this continent, we CANNOT have one of the defenders of God and the Pope being a heretic! We only have each other, Białoruska! Why must you have the same faith as your savage brother?! I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT!”

“I still do! I haven’t done anything! I accepted the Pope’s authority long ago, I have not done anything to betray you!”

For the first time, he bypassed Poland and went straight to Turkey.

“That poor bastard. This is why we have one emperor, imprison all his brothers, and don’t use feudalism. It might seem cruel, but it works. Or that bizarre neo-Roman Senate… whatever thing he’s doing. It can only lead to trouble.”

He had told him, laughing cynically.

Among the many that fled were the educated; as a result, his intellect also started to decline. He could no longer understand concepts he used to be able to recite by memory to impress guests with, nor engage in half of the intellectual discussions David tried to strike.

They had elected a king in 1697; the Elector of Saxony. Much like the Hohenzollerns with Prussia and Brandenburg, he desperately wished to force them to become more like real Union-Brothers.

They resented it; the king’s tyrannical tendencies made all of them miserable. Saxony could never quite fit in, remaining Lutheran despite the king converting to gain Poland’s favor. Being one of Martin Luther’s first supporters, his principles wouldn’t allow it. Which Poland especially, of course, could not stand. Their shouting matches could be heard all over their castles.

In another dynastic conflict, Sweden once again blitzed through him, and to make it worse, he was torn apart by conflicts over his own king; he had little to do with the ultimate destruction of his formal rival’s empire. That was Russia, the growing titan at their doorstep.

But even with his fall, Sweden, as much as he lamented the loss of Estonia and his other Baltic lands and would continue to pathetically and desperately attempt to take them back for years, still managed to land somewhat gracefully. For Sweden was an introspective man; at least he had some reforms come of it.

Yet, Poland still had some generousness to spare; when Hungarian leaders seeking to free their nation from Austria had come to him for help in 1701, during the war, he, despite his condition, despite the war, was willing to pay heed to their pleas and shelter them for his dear friend, for even when others had turned against her for, in her desperation, choosing Turkey's side during the Siege of Vienna, he did not. When uprising broke out, he again answered to her need, secretly giving weapons he needed himself to her cause and letting his soldiers leave the war and fight alongside Hungary if they so wished, Lipka offering her services as well.

They continued to meet over wine, her discussing the progress of the rebellion, and him the Civil and Swedish War. He poured his heart out to her, and she in turn promised to aid him when she finally became independent.

However, one day the Hungarians alongside Lipka returned, defeated, to his lands. While Hungary had managed to secure some rights for herself, Poland was left devastated. He was lucky enough to be somehow spared Austria's ire.

By the time the Swedish war was over, his army had shrank. His influence shrank. His economic relevance was laughable at best. He became nothing more than a joke.

“Hmmm… speaking of, I have not seen Polanie or Lituanie much lately. Though when we do they seem to be in such bad health…”

He heard France muse, speaking to Russia as David studied in his designated quarters, nestled above the roof.

Indeed, the diplomatic staff had been cut into a shadow of what it once had been.

“Never mind that. …It’s your turn, Monsieur le Professeur.”

“Ah… Sacré bleu, how did you capture that rook?!”

David returned to studying, keeping his head down.

“The Lord would never do this to his most loyal servant! But those barbarians laugh at us, Tolys! David, you’re the closest to the Lord, right?! You should know! I am the grandson of Sarmatia! I AM THE GRANDSON OF SARMATIA! The Lord is in my favor!"

Succession conflicts, more civil war.

Old scars re-opened, new scars formed, his health deteriorated rapidly. His appetite decreased, yet his love of alcohol turned from one of leisure to a disease. David searched far and wide for ways to alleviate the symptoms at least, but without addressing the reasons they weren’t going to heal.

Order broke down. That witch of a queen… or Tsar, whatever, used him like a puppet on a string.

David once let him stay in his inn, as he had quite a storage of herbs and medicines - free of charge, to everyone’s shock. However, the planned hunting trip later in the week was canceled as he became further ill and bedridden for the span of it.

One day, as David attended to him, pouring his fourth shot of vodka, the man started laughing, much to his shock. It was a drunken, yet bitter, oh so bitter laugh.

“Behold, the fate of the ‘Bulwark of Catholicism!’. Kurwa, what a joke! Isn’t that a joke?!”

“...”

“I’m not Sarmatia’s grandson! I’m just a Slav! A miserable Slav who can’t do damn anything!”

It was then David realized how thin Poland truly was.

Everyone outside moved forward, while he remained the same. England would easily be able to throw him around like a rag doll with a hand tied behind his back by now; that rascal had entered a Union-Brotherhood with Scotland and had started several overseas colonies by now after all, had several children of his own, and was now fighting over control of India. India.

Even some 2nd-rate German duchy like Bavaria could quite possibly easily defeat him in a fistfight or duel by now.

The Enlightenment, however, did come, if decades late; and to David’s relief, he still displayed quite a bit of intellect despite his decline. But there was much to catch up with; and unlike other nations, his search was not only of curiosity for a better life or how one should live, but one his very existence hinged on. While other nations had been questioning if it was in a king’s right to rule absolutely, his problem was one of balance, as there were too many who ruled. He, often joined by Lithuania, spent late nights, sometimes early into the morning, against the worries of other Commonwealth members, flipping through the pages of works by the era’s best philosophers and writers, searching for some answer, some solution to their situation. To somehow make up for lost time, for his arrogance, his stubbornness.

Once, David had walked into Poland’s study, returning from Prussia’s place, to papers, books, and broken quill pens scattered all over as Biały tried to fetch more for his owner, the man hunched over his desk with a blanket over his shoulders, scribbling furiously, muttering to and hitting himself.

“Think of something, Polska, damn it... You can think of something... Kurwa, focus, focus!”

He discussed with and preached to other szlachta of these new ideas, especially about the state of his peasants he was increasingly aware of. It appeared Iryna had been right in that regard, all those years ago. His ideas were shared by many, but many refused to budge as well.

Prussia and Brandenburg only grew in power, having formed a single kingdom; Holy Rome didn’t even bother to object, as even if he did his impotence by then was enough to make even Poland pity him. And while David had found that Prussia also did not mind his presence lately, he feared for his friend, as the way the German kingdom spoke of Poland sent fear through his nerves.

All the while, Russia only became bigger and more powerful, growing into an absolute monster, towering over them all.

And there Poland and Lithuania were, stuck between two growing titans, hungry for more territory as their instincts as Realms - now Nations - dictated. His time was running out.

David felt himself cringe as Poland was forced to beg at Prussia’s feet for his assistance to maybe, just maybe, keep Russia at bay. At the feet of his former little fief, who Poland had thought to be harmless after Grunwald.

But it was no use.

Over a century earlier, Poland had been warned by his king that Russia, Austria, and Brandenburg would be his demise.

It took over a century, but by the Lord, was that true.

In order to settle disputes among themselves, they looked to the impotent blob of land that separated them.

Today, as the first birds of spring sang cheerfully, David once again found himself at the front of Poland’s palace.

His inn had been barely profitable lately; and it was even looted while he was gone. Thank goodness he always kept his money in safer places than his own body. He should probably close it and sell the land if he could.

A tired-looking Zahira greeted him, waiting with Fortis, letting him in.

As he entered, he thought he felt a chill. The fact he was indoors wasn’t enough to explain it; it was hollow, dark, barren, cold, quiet.

He, Achi, and Zahira made his way through the once welcoming halls, their footsteps echoing in the dead environment where the aroma of delicious meals and wines used to linger in the air. Achi bleated nervously, her hooves clicking against the floor. Natallia didn’t run to greet David, asking him about events in the rest of Europe and the Near East and offering him snacks; unlike with the Deluge, they were unable to save her. Or anyone.

Livonia, Courland and Semigallia... Everyone was gone.

Shattered glass laid scattered under windows, walls bare where priceless art once hung.

Finally, they reached the main quarters. Zahira knocked.

“David is here again.”

“...Come on in.”

Tolys' voice.

The now sole representative of Lithuania met them at the door, gaunt, dark circles under his greyish-blue eyes. Of course, his wife was nowhere to be seen. He was never a possessive husband, but yet he looked so incomplete without her, as if there was an intangible open void next to him. For the first time in centuries, they were separated.

And behind him, staring at the fire and partially crumpled on the ground, was Feliks, the personification of the once proud Kingdom of Poland, heart of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth, the undefeatable Rzeczpospolita that stretched from Crimea to the Baltic Sea, the one who once impressed Western Europe with invincible winged cavalry and horseshoes of gold that clattered on cobblestone… his eyes sunken, his skin pale, his hair dull, once rich, beautiful clothing frayed, faded, and in places torn, all but one bent, broken feather missing from his hat.

Biały noticed them, eagerly squawking at them, welcoming David and Achi home.

Lithuania moved to make room, and David rushed to the kingdom’s side.

“Polyn?”

Silence.

“Polyn? Talk to me, you-“

He spoke.

“...The constitution fell through. It fell through two years ago. We worked so hard on it. It wasn’t even effective for 19 months. ...Those traitors. They invited Rosja in."

He had heard Poland speak about it; how he had finally done it, how he had finally found the solution to correct all his mistakes of the past. Equality between the townspeople and nobility, the revoking of liberum veto, a proper balance of power, rights and protections to his overworked and abused peasants; so all would have the right to "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness", as apparently a certain boy across the seas had said. He would become a constitutional monarchy, just like England and Scotland.

It sounded too good to be true then, when Poland had proudly informed him about this all with a smile wide enough to show off his missing teeth, as all was falling apart around them.

A break from tradition, but a still very Poland idea indeed in its idealism.

“I wasn’t hoping in the first place.”

“Ha. I’m not even dead yet. And you lie, don't you?"

He sighed.

"...I’ve failed Białoruska too. And Iruyna. All of them.”

“They’re gone, Polyn.”

“...I know."

He said it, defeated. But it was soon that his tone changed.

"...You know, it’s a shame you had to join us now.”

“...Why?”

"You have much to catch up with, my friend..."

"What do you-"

The kingdom grasped his rusted saber by his side, with less of a flair than he would have a century before from a rebellion against Sarmatism and simple fatigue, but looked at him after doing so with his signature determined look in his eye; a look now tainted with desperation.

And using his sword, and the spear that stood propped up against the wall, he attempted to stand.

“Polyn! Please!”

“Kościuszko said we were discussing final plans today.”

“What are you-“

“We’re having a rebellion.”

Lithuania cut in.

“We’re going to fight, David.”

David was aghast.

“Oy vey! Why?! You’ve fought every partition until now too! It’s pointless!”

“You’re still alive, right?”

Silence.

David opened his mouth, his mind scrambling for a response.

“Well… Well, you and I are different! Besides, I know to keep my head down! I’d be gone from this continent centuries ago if I was as idiotically stubborn as you!”

“...”

“...I learned my lesson long, long ago, long before you were even a concept, when Rome finally beat it into me. Three times, I thought I somehow had a chance. Three times, I thought He was on my side, that this time it would be different. And look at what I have to show for it; still alive only by technicality and who knows why, doomed to wander the land, my people scattered, no single home, not even having a real name. ...The Lord punished me for my arrogance and pride. I learned my lesson. Maybe you should learn it too, before your third attempt leads you down a path like mine or worse.”

Poland stumbled, but finally stood.

“The Lord works in mysterious ways, David.”

“Polyn!”

“I’m not going down without a fight! You know me. I’ll make Litwa bludgeon them with my corpse before I kowtow to the likes of them! I’ll show them to never mess with a Hussaria!” Poland roared; it was so pained, almost growling, but David knew that tone of voice buried within.

“Damn it… I’ll drag them down to Hell with me! They’ll regret doing this to us… I’ll make them regret it!”

David’s heart clenched. He didn’t remember the last time he had wept for another Realm, or even himself or his own people for that matter, as he thought his tears had dried out long ago; but he felt the closest he had in centuries to doing so now.

Poland slumped again, his saber clattering on the now bare floor, but one again he took it and regained his posture.

“Polyn!”

“Nothing else to say, huh... So that makes us even.”

“...”

“As the good man Rousseau once told me... even if I’m swallowed up by those skurwiele in the end, I'll sure as hell make sure they won’t be able to digest me.”

Poland walked past David, dragging his bad foot behind him, his posture improving ever so gradually as his National Resolve finally started taking effect.

“Lipka. Biały, you too.”

Lipka looked to David as she walked to her masters’ sides.

As Poland, along with the remnants of the Commonwealth, made his way to the door, their eyes met.

“...David, are you coming?”

“...?!”

“Kościuszko... he has something special in mind for you.”

For a final time, silence.

“...Yes.”

David stepped forward, letting Poland support himself with his shoulder. Poland was light; but very much still there.

And thus, the remaining four made their way to the door.

“After we win… I hope you’ll make us stew to celebrate.”

“...”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So there you go, my first magnum opus. Man I crammed literally like 700 years of history in here. Though it mostly covers the 16th to 18th centuries.

I'm writing this long after the fact, after performing some edits. David, in case you can't tell, represents the Jewish diaspora. He will later become Israel (well geez David, you sure learned your lesson on Pride, huh?/s) and retire his status as representing the diaspora then. While personifying the diaspora is a questionable idea, like with Zahira I liked their potential dynamic with the Polish Commonwealth crew too much, as it's something that I feel many don't know about. Now reconciling this Diaspora!David with Israel!David will be... Difficult, to say the least, but whatever.

Alt-Belarus is not a yandere whatsoever. In fact, from researching Belarusian history and culture, it seemed more accurate for her to be this relatively normal woman for a nation who just wants to live a peaceful life. She's in fact one of the more tame Alt-talia characters.

Who is the combative sister, however, is Ukraine. She's passionate, she doesn't take sh!t, but because she's a nation that means she's capable of doing terrible things. I heard Ukrainians described as like Italians (in the sense they are passionate and more emotional) while Belarusians are like Germans (as in they're hard-working and organized).

Lithuania isn't characterized much here admittedly, but wimp he isn't. At this point he basically acts like a less brash Poland, and does the manly stuff like drinking and partying as much as him.

And Poland... Hoo boy Poland. This fic shows why I love writing you. He's got the "it's always Poland rules!" thing in common, if that isn't basically the central thing of this story, at least in this era, but he is very different from canon. He is not a crossdresser (not that that’s wrong). He is not feminine in the slightest. In fact he's the type of guy who is all "A real MAN does X!" in the modern day. The type of guy who wears non-fashionable clothes and socks with sandals because looking after your looks is "gay". But in the Early Modern age he was indeed this partying Giga Chad. According to TV Tropes (albeit no citations) the culture was big and dramatic and I love it. Yes, the golden horseshoes were a thing. Yes it's super extra. Yes I love it. Combine it with the religious tolerance and you've got my favorite character of this era. He's like the anime archetype of the big cool generous manly guy with a huge plate, to use a Japanese expression. But like with any nation or realm he had deep flaws even at this time. Hence this fic. I actually genuinely feel sorry for him though, more so than other realms who can be a bit unsympathetic because everyone in this version of Hetalia is awful lol.

I only mention Livonia and Courland and Semigallia, because quite honestly I have absolutely no idea how to write them. Or West Prussia for that matter, because it just sort of fades out of existence eventually. I also have literally no idea how to write him. Latvia may materialize as some weirdly immortal peasant kid around this time if not earlier, randomly bouncing between Livonia and Courland (who are German) to work their fields or whatever. Oh Latvia, your existence is so confusing. How you got a unified identity I have no idea.

Also yes I quoted that one Sabaton song. I love that Sabaton highlights Poland so often, its history is genuinely fascinating. I also referenced Monty Python, yes your eyes were not deceived.

Yes, the Yiddish word for Poland sounds like "rest here". The opening is based on a legend; the story goes that Jews were going through a forest, and heard "polyn", "rest here". The place they came to was Poland. Dawwwww.

The Evil Eye is a belief superstitious Jews have about envy from others bringing bad stuff. And this is confirmed for him several times over his history with others coming after him, so I'd think he would believe strongly in this, until he becomes Israel and he maybe just stops caring. I'd imagine David looks upon Poland with a bit of fear because Poland is so extra with the cool stuff he has, if I didn't convey that well enough.

(cont)

#hetaween #hetaween 19/20 #alt-talia #historical hetalia #hws poland #oc #hws lithuania #hws belarus #hws ukraine #bringbackhetalia2k19 #polukr #lietbel #long fic

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toonqueen · 6 years ago

Note

ODIN EIDOLON

Headcanon A: Realistic: We've already discussed this but I like the idea he has actual green hair highlights and it's not just the comic shading in the comics.

Headcanon B: while it may not be realistic it is hilarious: Okay he is an android but there is comics where he's drinking (maybe eating?) So he obviously created some sort of tech for androids to convert food into energy a machine can use. Since he’s also hiding that he’s an android. Oh hoho. Maybe when he first invented it he tested it on himself first, but also was adjusting it so he could actually taste food to. Oh man, and when he finally got it right oh lawd food is so good. Probably ordering from uber eats three times a day. And other cultures having different types of food OMG. He’s probably eating a lot like for a year. He’s just going to try every flavor of ice cream but try to do it in a way that does not raise suspicion that he’s really an android that just got taste buds. >_> Don’t mind me just a regular flesh and blood citizen with a cart full of every carton flavor of Haagen Dazs >_>

Headcanon C: heart-crushing and awful, but fun to inflict on friends: He gets he is immortal I mean he’s always been an AI but now living at Odin he has more interactions with mortals and has ones he likes working with and just has this in the back of his mind that they are going to age and get old and die and he isn’t. I think his company would have a history from current and decades in the future of hiring the grown kids/family of previous employees and have several generations that have worked at his company because He would miss someone’s grandparent working for him and make sure their family was taken care of for generations to come.

Headcanon D: unrealistic, but I will disregard canon about it because I reject canon reality and substitute my own. FFFfffff. UH. OKAY SOMEDAY DUCK AVENGER IS GONNA FIGURE OUT THE THING THE BIG SECRET THATS BEEN GOING ON OKAY. FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD.

#odin eidolon

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makeste · 6 years ago

Text

BnHA Chapter 209: Proud Dads, Determined Rivals, and a Prison Interlude

Previously on BnHA: Team BakuJirouSatouSero scored a flawless 4-0 victory against Team TokaBondoAwaKama. Here’s how it went down: (1) Bakugou protected Jirou and everyone watching was like “holy shit did Bakugou just protect Jirou??” and his classmates were like “YES THAT JUST HAPPENED”; (2) Awase welded Bakugou to some columns with his quirk; (3) Satou used his own quirk to smash Bakugou free; (4) Jirou stunned Awase with her quirk and Sero tied him up; (5) Bakugou blasted Bondo and Satou restrained him afterward; (6) everyone watching was like “SO BAKUGOU DOES TEAMWORK NOW?!” and again his classmates were like “YES”; (7) Bakugou flung Kamakiri into a wall, which looked like it hurt, sorry Kamakiri; (8) we learned that Bakugou had given some extra grenades to his teammates and they’d used them to blow up a bunch of Tokage’s amputated body parts, forcing her to regenerate and use up her stamina; and finally, (9) the depleted Tokage flew right into Bakugou and he took her out with a (Point-Blank) Stun Grenade attack. Basically it was just Bakugou is Awesome: The Chapter. If I didn’t know any better I’d think I had fantasized this whole fucking thing you guys. THAT’S MY BOYYYY.

Today on BnHA: Aizawa gives his team a thumbs up and Kaminari is all “WOW KACCHAN YOU REALLY CAN BE NOT-A-JERK IF YOU TRY HUH” and All Might is all “chills, Young Bakugou. LITERAL CHILLS” and that last bit makes Bakugou get all shy and embarrassed and it’s super fucking cute. Then he bumps into Deku and Deku is all “wow that was awesome” and Bakugou is all “you can’t beat me” and Deku is all “nah I can” and it goes on like this for a page and then Bakugou leaves and then All Might is all “I ship it.” Over on class B’s side, Monoma and his team begin to strategize for their upcoming battle. Everyone agrees that their first priority should be to take out Deku because You Just Don’t Fuck With Deku. The 5th set begins, and it’s honestly too many names to squish together, I’m gonna be real with y’all, but anyway so Deku’s side also has Mina, Ochako, and Mineta though. And their plan is to have Deku be a decoy and draw out Team B’s most troublesome members (i.e. Shinsou). As things get started, All Might gets a call from Gran Torino. We then cut to Tartarus of all places, where Prisoner #1541, better known as All for One, is squirming around and making the guards nervous. Turns out AFO is excited because apparently he can “hear his little brother’s voice.” Um. Okay.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 224, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

haHA!

THAT’S HOW WE DOOOOOOOOOO

oh man. that was such a rush. how could anyone possibly not enjoy that. I think even Aizawa was probably pumping his fist a couple of times and then trying to play it off like he didn’t care lol

poor Vlad King

I wonder how this will change people’s strategies going up against Bakugou in the future. the kid whose own classmates once worried that he wouldn’t accept being rescued even when his life was literally on the line just pulled off some of the smoothest fucking teamwork I’ve ever seen. I mean that shit was seamless. and “cooperation” was this kid’s one and only weak stat before; moving forward it’s getting harder and harder to imagine how anyone could possibly beat him

and lest I not give the others the credit they deserve, they were outstanding as well. Satou with the clutch save and then later helping to apprehend Bondo! Sero who made expert use of his quirk to get the others in position and to capture Awase! and then being the one to figure out Tokage’s weakness and exploit it! and last but most definitely not least my girl Jirou, who kept the others advised of class B’s movements throughout and was the one to actually KO Awase before Sero tied him up!

basically they all did so gooood. even Aizawa can’t possibly find anything to chew them out for can he? lol I’m so proud of my babies

HAHA!!

HE GAVE THEM A THUMBS UP! HE’S ALMOST SMILING! OH MY GOD THAT MEANS THEY DID AMAZING. AND HE EVEN FOUND A WAY TO WORK IN SOME EXTRA COMPLIMENTS FOR PROBLEM CHILD #2 OVER THERE. AWW

meanwhile poor Vlad can’t find much to say either because let’s be real there’s no way his kids were ever gonna win that one

“based on past data” wow you guys I wonder if I’m ever going to stop being over the moon about this lol

but I mean, that’s exactly why I’m so psyched! it’s that slow burn character development! this was done so, so painstakingly, and little by little all the groundwork was put in until we finally reached the payoff. and that’s why it’s so satisfying. it’s because this is the side of Bakugou that I’ve been waiting for from the very start. this is him finally achieving the potential he has always had. it took so much patience and it was so, so worth it. so yeah. fuck it. I’m gonna keep being giddy about it

poor Tokage is apologizing to her teammates and she looks really worn out and I feel bad :( poor girl

but Awase is all “if someone with moves like his turns into a ‘goody two-shoes’, they have no holes to exploit” and oh my god lol. that’s what I’m saying, though. lol everyone is so fucked now :DDDD “well fuck us, if Bakugou’s not even going to be an asshole anymore then we might as well roll over and die now”

OH MY GOD

NEW FAVORITE PANEL ALERT

LET’S ANALYZE EVERYTHING!!! LET’S FUCKING DO IT!!

“KACCHAN” IS ALIVE AND WELL, I SEE!

BUT RIGHT AWAY HE COMPLIMENTS JIROU AS WELL BECAUSE KAMINARI IS HERE DOING HIS PART IN THIS THE YEAR TWENTY BI-TEEN

WELL DUH, SHE’S A HERO KAMINARI!!!

“A DELINQUENT PICKING UP A BUNCH OF STRAY CATS” SDFLAKSDFKJL WHAT AN AMAZING SIMILE. SERO YOU CAN COME SIT BY ME

and last but not least, there isn’t so much as a blink in regards to the “Kacchan.” this seriously is going to be his new hero name. this has gone from “I sure would love it if...” to “I’m actually starting to become increasingly sure of this” to “I would put solid money on it and would be amazed at this point if it doesn’t end up happening.” honestly I just want it to happen already lol

(ETA: yeah I might lose that bet lol. I still would love this because Parallels, but those Ground Zero feels from 223 have me rethinking my entire life ngl. btw that turned out to be “ground zero” spelled out in katakana though, not 爆心地/bakushinchi, so who knows. still kinda up in the air here.)

-- oh my fucking god you guys!!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ;______;

let’s analyze everything again omgggggg

look at Kacchan’s face. look at how he’s ignoring the others behind him entirely. his focus is entirely on All Might here. just waiting for his response. trying his best not to show how important it actually is to him

and All Might’s exceedingly proud face, and that praise. “CHILLS, YOUNG BAKUGOU. YOU GAVE ME FUCKING CHILLS” lmaoooo

AND THEN KACCHAN’S ULTIMATE TSUNDERE RESPONSE!!!

HE HAD TO TURN AWAY IMMEDIATELY SO THAT ALL MIGHT WOULDN’T SEE IF HE BLEW IT AND FUCKING BLUSHED OR SOMETHING

THE LEFT HAND MOVING UP TO HIS EAR! you’re telling me this kid, Bakugou fucking Katsuki, THE COCKIEST BOY WHO EVER LIVED, actually felt self-conscious to the point where he had to turn away and was all “whatever it’s not a big deal” and rubbing at his ear and avoiding eye contact with fucking everyone because he was so fucking happy that he made All Might proud, and no one can ever know!!!! QUICK, SAY SOMETHING COOL! “...YOU PROBABLY JUST CAUGHT A COLD OR SOMETHING.” NAILED IT!! SO SMOOTH KACCHAN

oh my god you guys this moment is seriously everything to me though. I’m so fucking happy for him. and he is so fucking cute jesus christ I want to pinch his adorable embarrassed cheeks ffff

OH HELLO

“REFLEX” I LOVE THAT THEY HAD TO CLARIFY IT. BECAUSE HE’S NOT THAT MEAN ANYMORE AND WE JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE KNOW

but he was so wrapped up in the praise he just got from his hero that when Deku startled him he got so flustered and he just automatically slipped back into what he knows. “nuuu leave me aloneeee.” HE’S NOT EVEN IN YOUR WAY THOUGH

SDFLKASHLDKFJ

PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, BNHA FUCKING DARES YOU NOT TO SHIP THESE IDIOTS. YEAH GO ON. JUST TRY IT

DSKAFDSHLFKHAWOIFHWOKFHSLK

lol unlike with All Might, Kacchan knows exactly how to respond to Deku’s praise by this point

but they’ve seriously come such a long way as well. look at how Katsuki’s response acknowledges Deku’s strength even as he keeps the rivalry alive and well. “you’ll never be able to catch up.” acknowledging Deku as the threat he is, the one who pushes him to keep improving

and then Deku’s confident response, slipping right into a rapport with him. no stammering or hesitation. just his own cocky little grin. he’s fucking living for this. being rivals with Kacchan! don’t mind him it’s just everything he ever wanted that’s all

lol so now Katsuki’s telling him to shut up and that he’ll never be able to surpass him!

and Deku’s all

I stan two (2) idiot rivalboys who are just starting to heal their relationship after so long and let me tell you guys it is an absolute and utter pleasure to see it go down and I am here for it and will be here for it as it continues to progress and as Katsuki continues to learn how to be Less Of A Jerk and make amends for his Past Bullshit and the two of them continue to establish this rivalry and then start to take their next steps toward the final stage, the endgame if you will, which is being partners who actually trust one another. oh my god. and I can’t fucking believe we’re finally within sight of that now though and oh my fucking god you guys

what are you thinking All Miiiiiiiight. I just explained to you all of my ten zillion thoughts on this so now you give me one of yours!

asldfkjalsfdjoi

OH SO YOU WERE SHIPPING THEM TOO HUH

ffffffff I’m telling you, every time he looks at the two of them together he sees their future selves, working together and trusting one another and relying on one another and together being the greatest heroes the world has ever known. All Might is the original BakuDeku shipper. he loves them so much and he’s so proud of them

and look at the word he uses there. friend. once again seeing through all of their fronting and other nonsense to the core of what they really are. and “friend” is not a word you could use to describe what Katsuki is to Izuku until very recently, but he’s absolutely right. we saw that earlier today when Katsuki saw them talking and came over and asked if anything had happened with OFA and then listened and reassured Izuku. that wasn’t rivalry, there -- that was care and concern (very brusquely offered but still). we are officially entering a whole new stage of this thing you guys, and fucking bring it on

also Deku’s face though. like, he was trying to keep that Rival Smirk in place, but look at the Actual Grin fighting to work its way out and him being so excited because it’s Kacchan and it’s what he’s wanted for so long ffff

ANYWAY. so we’re finally going to move on from the BakuDeku part of this chapter now though so say farewell

(ETA: oh my god this one section of this recap analyzing three fucking pages was longer than some of my other recaps in their entirety. sorry, guys; I see a pair of rivals and I lose all self control.)

All Might is adding “other than that potty mouth of his” which is Classic All Might, and meanwhile Shinsou is watching the two of them (All Might and Deku) with an indecipherable expression, oh my

anyway so now we turn to our other resident cocky blond

“not half bad” from Monoma in reference to Katsuki is like a fucking Michelin star holy shit

now Tokage is coming up to him dejected and apologizing and saying that it’s mathematically impossible for class B to win now

well that is true but they can still tie though. honestly I have no idea how this last fight will go now

wow Monoma

that accelerated from insightful to pompous so quickly I don’t think anyone even had time to strap themselves in

“everyone is a supporting character in someone else’s life, and the main character in their own” fucking what lmao

I mean, he’s not wrong though. unless you’re Deku. then you’re just The Main Character. surprise! a good way to tell if you’re actually the main character in everyone’s lives and not just your own is if you get attacked by villains in every single arc btw

so Kakashi Girl is asking what is Monoma’s plan anyway

did they not come up with one yet?? they had all that time! the most time out of anyone!

Shouda says they should adapt a strategy similar to Tokage’s team

sure, if you also want to get beat 4-0 in a record five minutes

so he says they should stick together and keep themselves concealed and that there are no merits in challenging the other team to hand-to-hand combat

whatever you say. I only know two of you guys’ quirks here. I personally would be looking to take advantage of the Monoma-borrows-Shinsou’s-quirk strategy to take them by surprise, which is only going to work once but damned if it won’t be really fun to watch though

absolutely. he’s the Bakugou of their team, for sure. but if you thought Kacchan’s team had good teamwork, you ain’t seen nothing yet though

and also don’t forget that my girl Uraraka “gon’ fuck your shit UP” Ochako is also on this team! anyone wants to underestimate her, it’s at their own risk

apparently class B has been doing their research and keeping up with the times, because they’re aware that Deku’s style has come a long long way from the days of the sports festival. they even know about his new long-distance attacks! wow

also they describe him as “Bakugou’s equal or maybe even greater” in terms of both mobility and power, which is excellent. this series keeps giving me what I want

so Shinsou agrees that they need to take out Deku first “no matter the cost.” but he’s bringing up the fact that Deku is able to escape from his brainwashing

oooooh

ehhhh but I kinda feel like that’s a waste of the potential that Monoma-with-Shinsou’s-quirk has, and I don’t get how doubling down would do anything other than just make things more complicated. and also, won’t Deku’s team be on the lookout for Shinsou’s quirk now? idk just seems like a lot of things that could go wrong here. this fight is going to be so interesting

Monoma looks thoughtful and says that it’s possible “things won’t go as planned for me either”

but he says that either way they need to stop Deku from roaming free or they have no chance. “I’m counting on you, Shinsou”

so now the teachers are gathered and saying that this is the last round, which we already know. “I wonder how Shinsou will fare?”

I know Aizawa is actually way more invested in this than he’s letting on, so I’m officially rooting for class B here despite my best boy and best girl Izuku and Ochako being on the class A team. sorry guys. but I just want your new brother to do well so he can be accepted into your class and get to be your brother full time!

I highly doubt that they will! so now we’ll see whether or not he can adapt!

oh shit I forgot Mineta was on this team. hey team B I’m giving you guys a freebie. you can just come pick him up now

anyway so on their side they are of course worried the most about Shinsou. though Ochako’s reminding them that they should be worried about everyone!

lol that started out as what seemed to be a pep talk, but then turned into more of a “there’s actually way more ways we could lose than just that!” type of thing lmao

and what is this now

did you guys spend all your time practicing this instead of coming up with some actual strategies. we fucking know what you can do you boobs

lmaoooooo

what are you talking about!? honestly you could probably combine your quirks and still pull out a win even without Deku if you tried. Mina what happened to all that creativity you were overflowing with during the Band AU arc??

(ETA: thankfully she’s still got it! lol watch your back Mineta)

and anyway, since you do have Deku though, this team is basically Bakugou’s Team 2.0. the possibilities are endless! you guys are so fucking versatile! stop getting down on yourselves! where is the leadership?? the last group only just showed everyone how much of a difference that shit makes. Deku where are you

oh there you are

would that really work? I know if it was me on team B and I saw Deku off on his own I’d be like “okay great, let’s stay as far the fuck away from him as possible and go after the others while they’re undefended”

oh apparently he told them all about his weird quirk mishap earlier because Mina’s asking him how he’s doing now

but he says he’s feeling fine, same as always

and he thinks that after watching the 4th set, they’ll be on their guard against him though. yeah exactly

Mineta’s asking if he’s going to be all right because they’re relying on him

oh y’all know I’m living for this calm heroic confidence

this right here. is exactly the type of hero I want Deku to be. oh my god I’m so fucking proud of my boys in this arc, though

SHUT UP MINETA

STEADFAST DEKU IS THE BEST DEKU. GO GET YOURSELF CAPTURED BY SHINSOU ALREADY IF YOU’RE GONNA BE LIKE THAT

so now Deku’s flexing his hand and he says nothing feels off

sdlfkhalsdkflj

“after he lit a fire under me like that” oh my god. and this is why their rivalry is my favorite fucking part of the series. just look at how they push each other. Kacchan just gave the performance of a lifetime after reluctantly learning the true meaning of Christmas from the boy he formerly thought of as a pebble in his shoe. and now Deku is here calmly telling everyone they’re definitely going to win, and thinking determined thoughts after getting all fired up after that talk with his best friend. CAN I CALL THEM THAT YET? NO? I’M BEING TOLD I JUMPED THE GUN EXTREMELY BY A WHOLE LOT? ARE YOU SURE? OKAY SORRY I JUST GOT EXCITED MY BAD. BUT GIVE IT A LITTLE MORE TIME THOUGH?

anyways so Vlad is all “BEGIN!” and there are two big panels of the teams getting all set to go!

oh shit and now All Might’s phone is ringing unexpectedly

lol @ Midnight telling him to shut that thing off. All Might that’s so rude

oh shit it’s Gran! that was fast. oh my god now they can talk about Deku’s weird quirk bullshit yessssssssss

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ISN’T THIS TARTARUS?!?!

ASDFKLHLKJL

jesus christ. if you have upwards of 1500 extremely dangerous high security prisoners, then maybe just maybe you might want to go ahead and refer to them by their fucking names just for simplicity’s sake. “which one is 1541 again?” like is it good or bad that he moved? these are circumstances where even a split second of having to go through your mental filing system to recall who’s who might end up being disastrous if things go wrong

anyways don’t mind me, just nitpicking really stupid things instead of getting on with the story. okay so who is that. is it AFO??

so the guard is mumbling that it would be nice if they could hurry up with “the decision and execution” of 1541’s sentence. “at this rate we won’t be able to last”

wow. so it must be AFO, right? if they’re just letting him move around all the time, they really are screwed. what, were those gun turrets just for show? he’ll be out of there in a blink of an eye once he finally feels like it

and now we’re cutting to the cells and I’m preeeeetty sure this is AFO talking with Stain here

Chaplin sounds like some redpill prick if you ask me

also I’m not quite sure but did they just confirm that Chaplin is Gigantomachia’s true identity?

I just went and checked JBox’s translation and they made it seem like Giganto is Chaplin’s subordinate. which can’t be right because we know he’s AFO’s. serves me right for trying to verify something with JBox. I’ll just check Caleb Cook’s twitter after this and see what his thoughts are

-- wait hold up. now it looks like the guards talking. maybe JBox was right after all

(ETA: okay I wasn’t able to check Viz’s version to verify, but I think this is actually the guards talking and the correct translation should be “he’s his direct subordinate,” with him being All for One. the original Japanese line was “直系の部下だ” which basically means “he is [their] direct subordinate” without actually clarifying whose subordinate they are, so it’s a bit confusing when you don’t know who’s talking. anyways!!)

anyway so they’re saying that AFO has tons of other followers still in hiding and that it’s not just the league. and that they have to be careful not to provoke them

eh, I’d say it’s worth the risk. these other villains ain’t shit compared to AFO and we all know it. but if you leave him alive, and he gets out and regains his strength and retakes his place at the head of them all, then we’re talking about an all-out war potentially

which is actually where I’m thinking the series might be headed though. at least for the final arc. so I guess we’ll see

um whoa

seriously?? you too?? oh shit what the hell is even going on

anyways so that’s the end. oh my god. the series is getting so good again. it’s actually been really good since the Endeavorhawks arc honestly. like we’re almost back at full steam again. big things are coming, we’re heading toward another huge arc, I can feel it, and I can’t wait

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bakugou katsuki #all might #midoriya izuku #monoma neito #shinsou hitoshi #uraraka ochako #ashido mina #all for one #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #posting this a bit early since I'm heading off to a game of thrones viewing party #part one of april's two-part double whammy of screwing with all my emotions and killing off all the characters I love #part two will of course be avengers: endgame at the end of the month #bnha you had better not go killing anyone off anytime soon bc right now you're the only thing I can rely on now #winter is here kids #gonna be a wild ride

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notthecanadianaverage · 6 years ago

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for the 50 questions, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 ,6 ,7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, and 50 :)

LET’S DO THIS

1. What’s your favorite candle scent?

Honestly? I’m a basic bitch xD I love vanilla scented anything. Wooden wicks are the BEST. I want to find a candle that smells like fresh cut grass and a candle that smells like lumber. Those two scents, especially together, remind me of my grandpa who worked in a lumber yard and repaired lawn mowers. I treasure those memories so much omg.

2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?

Does Amethyst count? I actually don’t know xD I honestly can’t even think of any celebrities that I like??? I’ll say Jenna Marbles!

3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?

Again, I’m not really someone who goes nuts over celebrities, heh. I don’t know how to answer this D:

4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?

I mean, I’m 22 now and my fingers are crossed that it will happen soonish. The boyfriend lives in California and I think it might make things easier if we get married? Then he can come here!

5. Do you know a hoarder?

I don’t think so??? I mean I could be wrong.

6. Can you do a split?

I have tried for YEARS and I CANNOT DO IT ASLAJBODUBFODSUFNODSUBFLJDBFUBEF I FUCKING WISH I COULD

7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike?

Fuck if I know... Damn... I remember learning when I was... I think I was... 4? Maybe? I was super young.

8. How many oceans have you swam in?

I’ve only seen one ocean, the Pacific Ocean. I don’t know if I’ve swam in it, though. I know I’ve touched it and waded in it a little, but I don’t know if I’ve actually gone swimming...

9. How many countries have you been to?

2! Just Canada and the US. I’ve always wanted to go to England and Indonesia, though! I love Harry Potter, I always have (fucking fight me) and I decided when I was little that England was a must for me, that I had to go see Hogwarts. And Indonesia, my inner volcanologist NEEDS to go! That’s where my favourite volcano, Krakatoa, is located.

10. Is anyone in your family in the army?

I hope not! I don’t think so. Or... Maybe? I think my cousin Austin is. I don’t know. I don’t remember the last time I saw him. We don’t really talk about him? My boyfriends dad was, though. That’s all I know.

11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?

OO OO OO!!!! So, my boyfriend and I have discussed this! I have a set of dog tags that I always wear that have our names and our kids names on them! We want two girls who will be named Raven Zaidee Trujillo and Dexter Rosie Trujillo. Dexter’s middle name was originally going to be Bonnuit (French for good night) but one of his best friends was sadly murdered earlier this year and he wanted to honor her memory.

12. What would you name your son if you had one?

ANOTHER QUESTION I AM EXCITED TO ANSWER!!!!! Our little boys name is going to be Blade Wayne Trujillo!!! I’ve always had a thing for the name Blade and Wayne was his dads middle name.

13. What’s the worst grade you got on a test?

Ffffffff I can’t even remember what I did yesterday... Um, I think it was a flat out 0 because I didn’t even do the test. It was a physics test. I was scared of the student aid lady at school so I never switched out of physics and I literally used that block to sleep and play on my phone. I never even showed up to write the exam.

14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child?

Sailor Moon!!! I fucking LOVED that show!!!! I also loved Little Bear :D When I was 12, though, I was OBSESSED with this show called Disasters of the Century. It was a documentary style tv show about natural disasters and plane and train crashes and it was SO COOL. I LOVED IT SO MUCH. I used to wake up extra early before school just to watch!!

15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight?

Ummm…. I think I was a ninja? I remember I wore my karate gi out one year. I lived in Alberta at the time so there was like 2 or 3 feet of snow on the ground so I had to wear a snowsuit under my costume which was a HUGE disappointment because I was turned into a marshmallow rather than a ninja. Either that or I was Harry Potter. It was great! People always asked me though if I would rather be Hermione because I was a girl and my parents essentially told them to fuck off because I was HARRY FUCKING POTTER.

16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?

YES. My apartment is almost entirely Harry Potter. I have an Expecto Patronum tattoo and my ratty memorial tattoo on my leg is also Harry Potter. I am a diehard fan until the end. Fucking fight me. I also read and own the Hunger Games trilogy. Such good books omg. I was in the Amazing Book Race club in school and one year we had to read The Hunger Games and we even did a book trailer for it! I still have it! We showed my boyfriend when he came out in April xD The books are MUCH better than the movies.

17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent?

British! Does my Harry Potter loving ass need to say more?

18. Did your mother go to college?

I don’t think so? I’m not sure. I don’t know if anyone in my family has.

19. Are your grandparents still married?

Kind of? Not really. My Papa passed away from lung cancer in 2010.

20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?

Yes xD I started when I was 5 and I stopped when I was 13 I think? I got injured in a biking accident and had to leave. I was going to go back but as I was getting ready to, I got a really bad knee injury and I just haven’t been back. I really want to go back, though! It was fun and I don’t get nearly enough exercise.

21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is?

I sure as fuck hope I do!

22. What’s the first amusement park you’ve been to?

I think it was Playland, my parents would have taken me when I Was super young. But the first amusement park I remember going to is Callaway Park in Alberta. I loved that place! I remember throwing a temper tantrum because my dad told the lady was 6 when I was actually 8 and I LOST MY MIND.

23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in?

Any language! I speak French but I would love to learn Michif which is the native language of Metis people as I am Metis c:

24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray?

I think I alternate, actually xD

25. Is your father bald?

Yes, he is!

26. Do you know triplets?

I was about to say no, but I think I met triplet babies once who I may or may not be distantly related to? I’m not actually sure anymore.

27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?

I’ve never actually seen either! I feel like the Titanic would be a no go for me, though, because I have issues with big boats and the fact that it’s real fucks me up and also James Cameron almost killed his cast by actually making them sit in ice cold water for the sake of hard nipples and realism????

28. Have you ever had Indian food?

I have had very badly made butter chicken once. It was so bad, WAY too much curry. And I think my boyfriend and I once ordered from an Indian restaurant. I ordered from the kids menu because that was the only place where there was non-spicy options xD

29. What’s the name of your favorite restaurant?

Umm... Hmm... White Spot? Maybe... But I also enjoy El Grullesays Grill... I slaughtered that name ;_; It’s a Mexican restaurant in California that serves meaty fries! God I miss meaty fries... They’re like nacho fries! They have mozzarella cheese, sour cream, green onions, and shredded steak :3

30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden?

I actually don’t know. I think maybe? But I was too young to remember it. I think I’ve gotten leftovers, though, from when my grandma went.

31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ’s, etc.)?

I’m too broke for that shit ._____.

32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?

Pfft beats the fuck outta me. We never talked about that.

33. If you have a nickname, what is it?

Bug!

34. Who’s your favorite person in the world?

Honestly? My boyfriend xD He is one of the very few people in this world who doesn’t tolerate me because he loves and embraces all of my weirdness xD Him and G are my favourite peeps.

35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs?

I actually can never remember which is which and I mean, I’m not picky. As long as people leave me alone and I’m in a safe area, I’m happy xD

36. Can you whistle?

Yes! Can you hear me? I’m doing it!

37. Do you sleep with a nightlight?

I do not. I used to want to when I was little. I have one in my bathroom, though.

38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?

Pfft. No. I’m not a breakfast person. I work nights so I get home at 7 in the morning so if I eat before I go to bed, no joke, I will just make a box of macaroni.

39. Do you take any pills or medication daily?

I do! I take medication for my ADHD so that I don’t eat everything in my apartment and I can function somewhat normally.

40. What medical conditions do you have?

I am ADHD, I struggle with depression (it’s not nearly as bad as it use to be luckily), anxiety, I suspect BPD. I have a few joint injuries that will never really properly heal but other than that, nothing.

41. How many times have you been to the hospital?

Hehehe…. Um… For me? Food poisoning… injuries… suicide attempts… hmmm… 11 or 12 times? All but one in the last 10 years. What can I say, I’m clumsy as fuck xD

42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?

Yes! I love that movie!!

43. Where do you buy your jeans?

Pennington’s. I am THICC. It’s the only place I can get jeans that fit without destroying what little confidence I have. Sadly though they are NOT cheap so I currently only own 2 pairs that fit me and the thighs on both are destroyed so they are being held together by denim patches from an old pair of shorts, fabric glue and some mediocre hand stitching.

44. What’s the last compliment you got?

I have vibrantly coloured hair. Right now, it’s green. I’ve had very brightly coloured hair since I was 15 I think? My natural colour is brown. I’ve only had brown hair once since I started dying it and that was when I went to go visit my boyfriend for the first time because he had never seen me with my natural colour. I just said that I looked weird with brown hair and he said “No, you look incredible.”

45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning?

Hmm, sometimes. Most of the time, I do. Been having a lot of nightmares and stress dreams lately, though, so I wish I didn’t...

46. What flavor tea do you enjoy?

I absolutely prefer herbal teas. My favourite is Just Peachy from DavidsTea!! I also REALLY love White Peach omg

47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?

Ahh…. Hmm…. I have… 8 or 9? I think? I’m not home so I can’t check.

48. What religion will you raise your children to practice?

None. I grew up Atheist. I knew of religion, obviously. My grandma is religious. But I just never understood it. My understanding was that there was a God and that he lived in the clouds and I remember looking at the sky one day and there were no clouds and I was concerned. I also didn’t understand Heaven or Hell because neither have been seen and the lack of tangibility fucked with me so hard. My grandpa got really sick in 2009, he had lung cancer. I remember when he was in the hospital I really tried to look for something, anything, to turn to for comfort because everything was falling apart around me. He unfortunately passed away and I was angry because if God is real and if he actually loved us, why would he let us suffer the way that he did, the way that I was. How dare he?! That was honestly the last straw for me. If my children want to explore religion or they want to go to church and see what it’s all about, I will absolutely support them in doing so, but I will not raise them in any specific religion.

49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn’t real?

That was something I just kind of grew out of. I was never exclusively told that any of that was fake. I actually have a memory from when I was 3 or 4 of sneaking out of my room really late at night and peeking into the living room where I could hear my parents talking and I saw Santa and Mrs. Clause? I also remember one Christmas night where I couldn’t sleep (this is when I was maybe 10 now) so I was watching the snow fall outside and seeing if I could spot Santa in the sky when I heard someone walking in the hall. I lived in a bit of an abusive household so I had learned what everyone’s footsteps sounded like and the footsteps were heavy, MUCH heavier than my dads (who was very overweight at the time), it definitely wasn’t my Uncle, and they were wearing shoes (or boots). I was too scared to go look outside while they walked away but after the house was quiet again, I checked, and my stocking was outside my door, so I still don’t know how to explain that...

50. Why do you have a youtube?

AHAHAHA SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION!!!! I obviously have my personal YouTube but I don’t generally post anything, I just use it to watch shit. BUT MY OTHER YOUTUBE… I use YouTube @RatPotatoez to post videos of my rats! I will also soon use it to post my podcasts!!! RatPotatoez can also be found on Facebook, Instagram, SnapChat, Vent, basically everywhere! You should go follow me everywhere so you can see the cuteness that is my rats c:

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