#worry weighs heavily on me always and I am Tired.

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

*sigh*

[wandering-winchesters]

Hunt Gone Wrong

Dean Winchester x injured Reader

Summary: The reader is injured while on a hunt, but doesn't want the boys to know. Considering it should have been a super easy hunt.

Word Count: 2,009

Not Proof Read

Trigger Warning: Blood, Injury, Needles, Swearing. 18+

AN: Requests are open! Please send them to me. If you’d like to be added to my tag list, please let me know!

Masterlist

I’m not a colorful person, the majority of my wardrobe is made up of black, gray and dark greens. Today, more than ever I’m thankful for my drab wardrobe. Blood doesn’t show in black. I know the gash on my side is bad, but how bad I’m not sure. When I had pulled my hand out from under my shirt it was covered in blood. My blood. I wince, shifting slightly in the passenger seat of the impala. Biting my lip to keep my breathing as steady as possible. Focusing on the trees flying past as Dean drives, his foot weighing heavily on the accelerator.

The hunt had gone exceptionally well, minus the small mishap that had left me in my current situation. Dean and Sam had begrudgingly let me come with them to take out a demon, an easy job. There was only one that we were after on this occasion, or so we thought. We had unintentionally split up upon entry to the house, Sam and Dean had headed upstairs searching for the demon. But something caught my attention and I had veered away from them. I realize now, that it was all apart of the demons plan to draw me away from the protection of the boys. A fact that I wanted to keep from Sam and Dean. Hence, why I was doing my best to keep my injury hidden from them. Praying my shirt and flannel would absorb all of the blood and I wouldn’t stain the seats in the impala.

I zone in and out, listening to the boys argue about what they could have done differently, what went right and who screwed up what. I am counting down the minutes until we are back at the hotel, my jaw clenched, every muscle in my body aching from how tense I have been on the short, fifteen minute drive back. 

“Y/N?” Dean says, reaching over to squeeze my knee. I jump, pulling away absentmindedly, “You okay there? You have been awfully quiet.” His brows pull together, worry forming across his face at my actions. “Yeah, I am good. Just tired, ready to get to the motel. All good De.” I try my best to smile, probably more of a grimace.  I know I haven’t convinced him, his lingering glance that I catch out of the corner of my eye tells me that much. He knows me all too well, a fact that I do not normally mind. However, today, I just want to fade into the background. I wish that he was not as familiar with my mannerisms as he is. 

The gravel crunches under the tires of the car as Dean parks in front of the motel. After a few seconds of arguing, Sam heads inside to get us a room. 

“I don’t know about you, sweetheart, but I am starvin’! Demon killing always works up my appetite. What do ya’ want for dinner?” Dean asks, turning the car off and grabbing his jacket from the seat next to him, preparing to get out of the Impala. “Hmm?” I hadn’t been paying attention to his words, my hand pressed tightly against the wound on my side, trying to gauge just how bad it is. “Oh, I don’t know Dean, I am not that hungry.” I give him a half smile, looking him in the eyes for the first time since we left the run down and demon infested house. 

His face falls quickly, looking me over, searching for any sign of injury. 

“Jesus, you’re as pale as a ghost, Y/N! Are you hurt?” He throws open the drivers door and moves to climb out, surely to come over to the passenger side and look me over for himself. 

“No, Dean, I am fine, I promise! Just tired, today took it out of me. I will be fine after a shower and a good nights sleep.” Dean gets distracted by Sam making his way back over to us. 

“So, good and bad news. Good news is I got us a room. Bad news, they only had one room open, but there are two beds at least!” Sam says, tossing the room key onto the hood of the impala, while he walks to the trunk and pulls out his bag. 

I throw open the passenger door and snatch the key off the hood of the car before Dean can. "I call first shower!" I sling the strap of my bag over my shoulder and walk as quickly as I can, to the door of the room.

The next few minutes are a blur, I manage to grab a change of clothes and the first aid kit out my bag and slip into the bathroom. Avoiding the any further contact with Sam or Dean. I curse under my breath, turning the lights on in the small, dingy space. Realizing now, just how light headed I am. I anchor myself against the sink, using my other arm to slide my flannel off my shoulders and let fall to the floor. I take a deep breath and pull my shirt off, steeling myself for what I am about to see. The sight of blood is one thing that has not gotten any easier, mine or someone else's.

The cut is deep, deeper than I thought it would be. I wince, as I pull the fabric of my shirt away from my skin, the dried blood making it an even harder task.

"Fuck." I am going to need stitches. I angle my body to the mirror, trying to get a better look. The angry, red gash stretches from the top of my hip, up to the front of my ribcage. Fresh blood begins to pool and drip from the wound, irritated from the removal of my shirt. How am I going to do this? I can do stitches, sure, but I have only ever done them for the boys. The angle that I will have to work at seems impossible at the moment.

I lean over and turn on the shower, figuring I should clean out the wound before stitching it up, plus the sound of the shower would help to cover up the gasps and whimpers I cannot seem to contain now that I am alone. I grab a seemingly clean towel, from the rack in the bathroom and press it against my side. Trying to slow the bleeding while I collect my thoughts. I am interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Y/N, I am just gonna wash my face while you shower-" Dean opens the door and sticks his head in the room. Stopping in his tracks as he sees me, a mumbled apology starts to roll off his tongue, before he freezes. His eyes trained on the towel that I have pressed to my side. I glance down and notice the red tinge that covers the part of the towel that I had already used.

"Damn it, Y/N. What happened?" He asks, slipping the rest of the way into the room and shutting the door behind him. He crosses the small space to me in a second, taking the towel from my hand and pulling it away so he can survey just how bad it is. His brow creases, as he looks closer. I can see worry etched into every inch of his face. "I'm fine De, Just a scratch." I mumble, looking away from him, not wanting to see the expression on his face any longer.

"You are as far away from fine, as that can be." He states, grabbing the first aid kit off the counter and hurriedly searching for the suture kit that we keep in all of our bags. I feel the tears that I have been holding back, begin to fall. I curse under my breath, and glance up at the ceiling, trying to hold back those tears I so desperately do not want to fall.

"I can do it myself, Dean, I don't need your help." I state, trying to take the sutures from his hand. He stops me easily, a hand wrapping around my wrist. He releases my wrist after a few long, painful seconds and looks at me.

"Stop it, I wasn't asking if you wanted or needed my help. I am doing this. Now, are we doing this the easy way, or the hard way? Because if you want to be difficult, I can go get Sammy to help. And you know he is way more dramatic than I am about these things." He states, holding the suture kit up above his head, to keep me from trying to grab it from him.

"Okay." I mumble, my voice barely more than a whisper. Dean nods, gently guiding me over to the counter, encouraging me to hop up on to the elevated surface so he can have easier access to the wound on my side.

Time passes slowly as Dean cleans the lovely gash caused by my moment of stupidity on the hunt. The tension in the small bathroom building by every passing moment. I can feel the anger and frustration radiating off of Dean in waves.

"Shit, that hurts De." I hiss as the suture pierces my skin for the first stitch of many. I hear a low apology make its way from him, his brows knit together in concentration.

"Why didn't you just tell me? Or Sam? For God's sake Y/N, this isn't just a scrape. It's deep. Judging by how pale and clammy you are, you've lost a lot of blood. If you had just told me when it happened, we could've done something about it ages ago!" He curses, grabbing a clean square of gauze to wipe away some of the fresh blood.

"I didn't want to disappoint you, it was supposed to be an easy hunt. It's my own damn fault that it happened. Plus, I didn't think it was this bad. Figured I could clean it up on my own and you'd never had been the wiser. If I had just remembered to lock the goddamn door." I shrug my shoulders, immediately regretting the motion as waves of pain ripple through my body. Nerves igniting that I didn't even know existed.

"You could never disappoint me, I am just sorry that this happened in the first place. We shouldn't have split up, you aren't stupid Y/N."

He finishes the sutures over a period of time that feels like hours, but in reality was only minutes. His touch gentle and cautious, but firm and reassuring at the same time. A combination that I didn't think possible, especially coming from the older of the two Winchesters. "Finished," He sighs, helping me down from the counter. "Do you want help showering? You need to be careful not to rip your stitches."

It takes me a moment to process what he said, his offer to help me shower a first coming from him. Our friendship had never gone past meaningless flirtation, this level of intimacy something that I wasn't prepared for coming from him.

"Uhm, no, I think I will be okay, thank you though." I say, glancing up at him with a small smile. "Are you still angry with me?" I ask, my voice barely a whisper.

"Y/N, I was never angry." He hesitates, as if debating on if to finish what he was going to say. "I was scared. I wasn't there to protect you and you got injured. The thought of something happening to you, I just-" He pauses again, his fingers coming up to brush a strand of hair out of my face and behind my ear. The calluses on his fingers, dragging against my skin. "I couldn't live with myself if something happened to you, that's all." He presses a quick kiss to my forehead, then turns on his heel to head out of the bathroom.

"De, wait." I say, reaching out and grabbing his hand before he opens the door. "Could you stay, and help me wash my hair?"

[literary-motif]

Hey I’m wondering if you could do an after care with dontis and I love your writing keep doing what you’re doing

Afterglow

Dontis x Reader

Warnings: Implied sexual content

Dontis panted heavily, collapsing beside you on the bed. He ran his hand through his hair, catching his breath, and looked over to you. “Are you alright?” he asked, flipping on his side to face you properly. He reached out a hand, running his fingers up and down your side in a gentle caress.

“Fine,” you said, slightly out of breath. The high of pleasure had left you winded in the afterglow, and you felt tiredness weighing down your eyelids. You trusted Dontis completely, his soothing presence making you sleepy. “Can we take a bath, maybe?”

Dontis’ hand stilled. “Of course,” he said kindly, leaning up to place a chaste kiss against your lips. “Give me a moment.” He rose from the bed, walking into the ensuite. You heard the rushing of water and the muted closing of a cupboard. “Would you like to take it together or separately?” he asked, poking his head through the door. 

You took the time to stretch and relax your muscles, thinking. In truth, you did not want to be alone, yearning instead to feel Dontis’ arms around you. He always made you feel loved and cared for. “Together, if you don’t mind,” you said, rolling off the bed and wincing at the soreness in your lower back. 

“Not at all,” he replied, holding out a hand and walking you towards the bath with a gentle smile. “I hope I wasn’t too rough,” he said as you sat in the bath, the warm water instantly soothing your aching muscles and making you sigh contently. 

The scent of the bath salt eased your mind immediately. It smelt like Dontis, invoking the same feeling of warmth and security that you loved so much as you allowed your mind to drift.

“It’s fine, don’t worry,” you said, closing your eyes and leaning your head back. You felt the water ripple as Dontis joined you on the other side of the bathtub, his wealth allowing it to be large enough that no part of you was touching. You swallowed your disappointment, not wanting to intrude if he wanted the personal space. “I like your bath salt.”

He chuckled, running his hand through the water and letting it trail down his fingers. “Thank you. I chose it carefully. Taking a bath with them is one of my favorite things to do after.” 

You hummed, feeling the pull of sleep threatening to overtake you. “‘s nice,” you slurred, opening your eyes and sitting up properly to wake you up again. “It was nice, I mean. This is nice.”

Dontis smiled at you. “Tired?”

“Just a bit,” you answered, stifling a yawn. “But I don’t want to sleep yet.”

He nodded, reaching for the bottle of shampoo, hesitating as he looked up at you. “Would you mind washing my hair?” he asked, trying to hide the longing in his voice.

“Turn around,” you requested, scooting over and taking the bottle from him. You scooped a generous portion of it into your palm, massaging it into his scalp. 

Dontis sighed, intoxicated by your touch. It made him feel warm from the inside out as you threaded your fingers through his hair, lightly scratching against his skin. He shuddered when you traced the base of his horns, making you halt your touches, fearing that you had hurt him. 

“It feels nice,” he reassured you, “I am sensitive there. So your—” he gasped, feeling your fingers brush over the skin again. 

“You have scars here,” you observed, keeping your touches light as you continued massaging in the shampoo. 

“I was betrayed, centuries ago,” he replied, voice dreamy as he recalled a time long gone. To your surprise, it was devoid of anger or resentment at the memory, as if he had forgiven it long ago. You tilted your head to kiss his shoulder, silently offering comfort regardless. 

“Close your eyes,” you said, taking hold of the shower head and adjusting the temperature of the water. You washed out the shampoo, using one hand to keep it from running into his eyes. 

Dontis smiled, feeling another surge of affection for you. “Thank you for your care,” he said as you wrung out his hair carefully. He turned around, leaning back against the tub, careful to keep his hair above the water, and opening his arms for you. “Would you mind?”

“Not at all,” you said, leaning against him and nuzzling your face into his neck. You remained like this for a while longer, Dontis’ steady heartbeat almost lulling you to sleep again as he ran his fingers up and down your back.

“Are you hungry? Would you like to eat something?” he asked once the water began cooling and you felt it was time to leave the bath. “I could make some pasta. It’s a light dish.” 

You nodded, hesitatingly leaving his embrace to wrap yourself in a towel and step out of the bathtub. “I can help.”

“Nonsense,” he said with a chuckle, drying his wet hair and kissing you. “I’ll be done in an instant. You rest. I’ll serve you dinner in bed.”

“You spoil me,” you said, pulling on one of his fluffy brown sweaters and enjoying the smirk Dontis gave you as he disappeared behind the door. You were immediately surrounded by his smell, sighing contently as you sunk into the pillows, feeling relaxed and looked after. 

Dontis had a way of making you melt. He was the most compassionate and kindest person you had ever come across, and his infinite generosity and care never failed to leave you speechless. You could never properly express the gratitude you felt for him and all his kindness, but you hoped the gentle touches, loving kisses, and the look of adoration in your gaze every time your eyes met conveyed at least part of it.

The dip beside you on the mattress made your eyes open slowly, and you were immediately met with Dontis’ warm smile. “You can sleep in a moment,” he said, pushing the tray towards you. “And I look forward to having you in my arms when you do, but eat first.”

Sitting up, you took the plate of pasta, smiling at the leaves of basil he added on top of it. “You’re the best, Dontis. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

[mochiroreo]

“Francesca”

Fallen angel!Eddie x Angel!reader ( a part of Mochiro’s halloween blurbs)

TRIGGER WARNING: descriptive self-harm, ANGST. LIKE,HEAVY ANGST, hurt/no comfort, religious passages and imagery.

Author’s note: SURPRISE!! This is heavily inspired by Hozier’s “Francesca” from his new album, Unreal Unearth. (Give it a listen for more feels hehe) I am not by any means trying to disrespect or impose ideas about religion. This is just my imagination even though the passages are from the bible. I have only noted them for more depth and understanding of this short wee-blurb. (At least for me its short hehe) this is not beta’d as usual so I might edit it in the future. Sorry for any mistakes ૮₍˶ ╥ ‸ ╥ ⑅₎ა

Like,comment, and reblog if you can pls! 🥹

Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. (Psalm 73:25)

The light shone through the branches of the trees slowly swaying with the wind,through the stained glass adorning the temple where the angels kneel and pray to their father. From day to night, they hail his name and pray, wishing all beings of earth united till the end of its days.

The temple is slowly becoming empty, each angel filling out of the place to go back to their post after the morning prayer. You stood up from your kneeling position, delicate hands dusting your white clothes as you look around for an angel that always takes your breath away.

And there he was,standing tall, his wings neatly folded behind in his back. His eyes gleaming in gold were already focused on you. Soft,golden curls adorning the frame of his face that suit his golden eyes and delicate pale skin. You gave him the biggest smile that you can muster, footsteps getting faster before he meets you in the middle and swooped you up for a hug.

Holding you gently to avoid hurting you and your wings, he peered down with a smile adjacent to yours. “Hello my sweet little angel. My little cherub.” The title made your nose scrunch,making him giggle. “Hello, Eddie. The archangel of mine.” You softly whispered, a blush slowly blooming in your cheeks when you felt his warmth on your body. He lowered you down slowly, intertwining your hands together while you both walk out of the temple.

“How is your sleep?” You looked up at him under your lashes, face laced with worry as you notice the slightly darker hue under his eyes becoming more and more apparent each day that passes. It looks like its slowly ruining the serenity that is always seen on his face. Eddie gave you a small smile, lovingly tucking some loose strands of your hair behind your ear.

“I am fine, my angel. I have been having more.. nightmares as each day passes. I am going to have a meeting with father soon, maybe he knows where all of this are coming from. His face became a bit solemn, golden-eyes looking tired. The heavy weight of silence weighed on you both, scared at the possible meaning of his dreams. No. You cannot afford that to happen. The prophecy— it should not be him; you thought to yourself as the spirit inside of you felt a surge of uneasiness.

You stopped walking beside him, making him halt as he looks at you with confusion. Your soft hands felt warm on his cheeks when you grabbed his face. Your eyes pleaded for him, you pillow-like lips placing a soft kiss on his forehead. A kiss full of genuine love that surpasses all heavenly beings known. A kiss higher than heaven where you both reside. A kiss full of wishes that you will be spending the eternity with him.

A kiss full of pleading that he stays with you even when all things crumble.

And have mercy on those who doubt (Jude 1:22)

A loud sound had woken you up from your deep slumber, making you scramble on the other side of the bed, looking for a certain figure as you try to open your eyes. The silky sheets felt cold beneath your touch, taking away the sleepiness in your being.

You were about to stand up to look for him before someone pushed the door open, the familiar golden wavy curls peaking from it. Eddie walked in to your room, the bags underneath his eyes getting darker and darker each day.

He sat beside you, hands red for unknown reason as if he had been washing it for the hundred time. You clutched the covers close to your chest, voice slightly wavering when his eyes found yours.

“Eddie.. Eddie, my love, what happened?” His lips slowly trembled, his eyes glassy as he try to blink his tears away. Gulping, he took such a deep sigh and took your hands to his, pressing it onto his chest.

“Angel.. me— me and father had an argument.” He gently whispered, looking down at your hands that are emitting warmth and comfort. “It started with me.. telling him I am having nightmares. Dreams. Dreams that I am not supposed to have as one of his archangels.” Eddie paused, his eyes now glued on your as he continue.

Your heart beats loudly within your chest, an ominous feeling looming in. It was slowly getting harder to breathe as you search his eyes for anything that might give you a clue. Nodding your head, you urged him to continue.

“I— I did not know what happened. Then I voiced out how— how I think humans deserve more. How, maybe— maybe they needed to be taught more instead of being challenged or their faith being tested.. it became— it became a massive argument. Father said I am slowly turning into a different- different being. And I denied it. As I think I am not. I am still the same! I— I made him understand that it isn’t just me that were against the way. That there were other angels that felt that way too. He looked at me in disappointment. In shame. I-I do not understand why!”

Eddie’s voice boomed, the loud sound bouncing off the walls while the beating of your heart can be heard in your ears. A lone tear cascaded down your cheek, watching your lover slowly crumble before you as he wrap his arms around you. His broken sobs replicating his emotions, raw and just— broken.

You clutched him close to you, closing your eyes in sadness while more tears dripped down. Your hands found its way in his wings, caressing the feathers lovingly, trying to ease his pain.

Kissing the top of his head as you comfort your lover, your breath hitched when you noticed something different. Your gut falling on the depths of fear, eyes widening as your breathing completely stopped.

Eddie took notice of the sudden stillness of your actions, pulling back a tad bit to look at you, confusion swirling in his puffy red eyes.

“What— what’s wrong, angel?”

A gasp left your mouth, pulling your hands back to cover it as you’re now the one slowly crumbling in his embrace.

“No.. oh— oh gods no! N-not you. No— no Eddie it cannot be you!” Emotions are now overwhelming your whole being, you feel lightheaded, as if fate is pulling such a cruel joke on the two of you. Panic slowly settling in as you clasp your hands together, bowing in prayer. You were reciting every prayer you know in such a way that Eddie cannot even comprehend and understand each word.

He took hold of your shoulders, shaking you once in such a force that snapped you out of the frenzy you are feeling. “What is wrong! Tell me!”

Glazed eyes looking at his freckled skin, you whispered.

“Eddie.. your hair.. is turning black. The— the prophecy.. is you.”

And the fifth angel blew his trumpet, and I saw a star fallen from heaven to earth, and he was given the key to the shaft of the bottomless pit. (Revelation 9:1)

All you have seen from Eddie before you got pulled away was red.

Red was dripping from his back, his pristine-white wings that once adorned his back are now gone, being replaced by a huge gaping wound where his wings were once attached. His hands and nails now adorned with dried blood from ripping his wings apart by himself, body full of clawing marks when he tried to tore more of himself before the father and his seraphims.

The brown doe-eyes of his are now gone, black replacing every inch of the eyes that you love. Hair as black as ebony and the night sky combined, the only thing remaining of him was his pale skin and the smile that he always gives you.

He was contesting the higher angels, the thrones and dominions. Other angels behind him before the trumpet was blown, everyone immediately running with their swords unsheathed, craving for blood and peace which made you laugh with how you have never thought both to be in the same sentence.

You watched with wide eyes and trembling hands before running towards him, trying to push away every angel that slams on you while you try to reach him. He stands in the middle, face somber while watching the bloodshed happening around him, the seraphim holding its ground, voice eerily unsettling as he spoke in tongues.

Eddie looked up at him, showing wide-menacing grin before he answered in the same manner. You shouted his name, repeating it like a prayer before his head turned into your direction.

You stopped in front of him, wiping the blood away from his face while your tears kept on coming down. You shook your head before turning around to face the seraphim.

“Please..” you pleaded, voice hoarse and raw with pain, guilt, and repentance. “Please.. once more. Just give him a chance once more..” the seraphim knew what you were pleading for, closing its eyes to let you deliver your message directly to your father.

“He is misunderstood. He just needs another chance. He— he needs our prayers. He needs us. Father— father please. I beg of you. I beg for your kindness. I beg for your forgiveness. I shall kneel my whole life! Just— just forgive him and let him be with me, here in your house, for eternity! Let me pay for his sins!” Your voice cracked, hands clasped as you shield your lover from the Seraphim’s eyes that are void of emotions and just a glowing light, slowly closing its eyes. You were willing to do anything for eternity just for them to forgive Eddie.

You were willing to die for him again and again if that would be enough to repay and repent for the sins that he did. For the chaos he unleashed.

Eddie hated the way your voice trembled, the way you are ready to sell yourself to the higher beings just for him to be forgiven. His emotions were swirling inside his head, his grip on his sword slowly getting tighter as he gets ready to push you aside and stab the seraphim in front of him. He almost moved before the seraphim opened its eyes once more, a booming sound from the skies was heard.

“No, child. It is not your sins for you to repent. It is not your tears for you to cry. It is not your decision for you to ask. Now, move. Or he will feel the everlasting sadness and fall into the depths, not only of the place I prepared for him, but also the depth of his broken heart.”

You shook your head, tears still flowing as you whisper broken prayers as you sob.

The seraphim closed his eyes before opening it once again, another voice that sounds like 10 angels are speaking at the same time was heard.

“Very well. Now, you have made your choice.”

It happened in a split second, a bright light blinded you before you felt a dull pain in your chest. Red bloomed on your chest that is now bearing a hole, making you clutch it as you fall into your knees. Eddie gasped, letting go of his longsword and immediately kneeling beside you, pulling you close.

“No— no my angel.. no.. no this c-can’t— can’t be— no no no” Eddie repeatedly called out your true name, his tears washing away the blood splattered in his face as he watch the pink of your cheeks disappear, the life in your body slowly escaping his reach and slowly drifting away towards the hands of a foe and a friend, death.

The now dark-haired angel clutch you close to him, trying to pour his heavenly magic even though he knows its worthless. Yet he still tried, draining his energy and emotions. You just gave him the biggest smile the you can muster, laying your bloodied hand on his cheeks and rubbing it gently.

“Maybe..” you breathed out, feeling it your eyelids slowly becoming heavy. “H-heaven is not .. fit to house..” you clutched your chest in pain, heaving as you try to finish your sentence.

“Maybe.. heaven is not fit to house.. a love like you and I..” you managed to breath out. Eyes smiling when your hand slowly cascade down his cheek.

“I would not change it each time.. heaven is not fit to house a love like you and I.”

Your hand dropped, as well as his tears.

And with your last breath.

You showed him the greatest love.

Greater than god.

Higher than the heavens.

[ruggiethethuggie]

Just Let Me Help You

Summary: Work has been long and stressful for Ruggie this week, but he is too stubborn to ask for support so his s/o takes it upon themselves to find ways to help out a little and show him love.

WC: 1893 Tags: fluff, one shot, gn!reader, Ruggie Bucchi, established relationship, HE IS AN ADULT HERE WITH A REAL JOB AND A REAL LIFE, stressed out Ruggie, s/o hates doing dishes (lmao same), some curse words, not proof read in the slightest © please do not copy and or repost my work as your own, my brain is massive and these are my thoughts.

You were standing in the kitchen, organizing the mail from the past few days. Work had been long and stressful the past week for both you and Ruggie, so it wasn’t a task high on your priority list, but since you were able to leave work early today you figured now would be a good time. You heard the familiar rattling outside the door, Ruggie fumbling to put his key in the lock, his hands more than likely full of his belongings. You glanced at the door as it opened, his exhausted face breaking your heart.

“Rug, … you look exhausted,” you said quietly as he walked into the kitchen. He sat his keys and jacket on the table, pulling his wallet out of his pocket and tossing it on there as well. He sighed heavily as he walked over to you, wrapping his arms around you and putting his head on your shoulder. Ruggie worked hard, almost too hard sometimes. He did everything he could to make your lives easier, but somehow, in some way, something always would create a hiccup in paradise.

“I am very tired,” he pouted. “I just want to take a long, hot shower and go to sleep.” He squeezed you tighter as you wrapped your arms around his back and rested one of your hands on his head. “Come on, Rug, you know I won’t let you go to bed without dinner,” you laughed as you ran your fingers through the hair on the back of his head. The strands of hair seemingly danced in between your fingertips.

Ruggie groaned as he released his embrace around you and lifted his head off your shoulder. “I know, I know,” he said in a sullen tone. He walked back to the kitchen table and sat in the nearest chair, propping his head up with one of his arms on the table. “I want an off day, just one. I’m tired of working every damn day of the week and feeling like nothing changes.” You frowned behind him. Seeing him down was hard for you, he was always the one who tried to stay optimistic between you two, but the constant working and consistent hard days were weighing on him hard right now.

You placed your hands on his shoulder, trying to massage them for him, maybe that would help some. “Rug, what can I do to help?” you asked. He tilted his head back and looked up at you. “I don’t want you to have to do anything for me, I’ll be okay,” he said with a slight smile. You knew he was lying, he was just too stubborn to ask for help. You cocked your head to the side and gave him a look. “What? I swear I’m fine, I just need to take that shower and I will be all bright eyed and bushy tailed,” he said grinning. You gave a sarcastic “mhm”, letting him know you could see right through his act.

He got up from the chair and patted your head before giving your forehead a soft kiss. “I promise I will be fine, please don’t worry about me,” he said sweetly. He walked upstairs, leaving you alone in the kitchen. You know he wasn’t trying to hurt you by lying, but you hated knowing that he would rather lie and say he was fine than to ask for help. Even if it was just making his day a little easier, you wanted that for him. It would be one less thing for him to worry about.

You looked around the kitchen, deciding what you wanted to do. Cook or clean. Realistically, his showers didn’t last that long, but with how stressed he was, you knew they would be a little longer than normal. Cooking dinner and cleaning would take too much time. You decided that maybe ordering out for tonight would be a good idea. Ruggie was simple when it came to restaurants, he didn’t care much about fancy places and rarely complained about menu options and lack of variety. You knew that a nice, meaty dinner would make the beastman’s mouth water.

Quickly, you pulled out your phone, opening your UberEats app. Would Doordash be cheaper? It didn’t matter, what mattered was making sure the food was here before Ruggie was back downstairs. You wanted to surprise him when he came back into the kitchen. You placed the order, a steak and baked potato dinner for two. It said it “should” arrive within the next 30-40 minutes, maybe that would be enough time. You snuck upstairs, trying to be quiet as you walked in your bedroom. You rummaged through the drawers, looking for clothes to give him for after his shower. He wouldn’t have to search for anything to wear, it would just be there for him to grab. You pulled out some of his favorite lounge pieces, a simple tee and some joggers. You slowly opened the bathroom door, trying to make sure he didn’t hear or see you put them in the bathroom for him. You placed the clothes on the bathroom counter, grabbed his dirty clothes on the bathroom floor, and closed the door quietly. Ruggie didn’t say anything to you, so you assumed your sneakiness outwitted your boyfriend.

Back in the bedroom, you gathered all the dirty clothes you could find. You struggled to pull out your phone from your pocket and hold all the clothes at the same time. Checking the time, you had maybe another 15-20 minutes at best before he was fully out of the shower, dressed, and back downstairs. That was still enough time to do a few more things for him, just to show him that you know how stressed he is and you want to help in any way that you can. You went back downstairs, toting the dirty laundry in your arms and finally putting it in the washer. After adding the detergent, you turned the washer on.

Turning around, the stack of dirty dishes in the sink caught your attention. Doing the dishes was a chore you hate doing, something you and Ruggie agreed would be one of his chores since you two moved in together. You were going to suck it up and do these damn dishes tonight. There was no way you were going to let Ruggie stress more over a pile of dishes that you also helped create.

You rolled up your sleeves and started cleaning the dishes. The thing you hated most about doing the dishes was the leftover food residue that would touch your hands if the dishes weren’t rinsed off well enough. Something about floating bits of food in soapy water did not seem like a fun time to you. Ruggie was always on top of it when he would take your plates and utensils from the table. It was rare if he didn’t rinse the dishes, but with how long this week had been, most of the dishes hadn’t been rinsed. You can do this, it’s just dishes.

You sped through cleaning the dishes and putting them on the dish rack, wanting to be done with it the moment you started. As you dried your hands with the hand towel on the stove handle, you heard a light set of knocks on the door. Your food had arrived, and just on time you thought, as you heard movement coming from upstairs.You rushed putting the food containers on the table, getting you both something to drink, and lighting your favorite vanilla scented candle on the counter before wiping your brow. It didn’t hit you until then how much you had actually done in the short amount of time Ruggie had showered.

“What’s that smell?” you heard Ruggie ask as he came off the stairs and walked towards the kitchen. You looked at him, seeing him smiling widely at the table. “Well, you’re stubborn. So I did what I could to help,” you said teasingly. He laughed as he walked over to you and pulled you in for another hug. He smelt so fresh, and you could feel his skin was still slightly damp. A small droplet of water from his hair hit your cheek. “Ahh,” you almost shouted, wiping it off your face. “It’s just water, you aren’t going to melt, you goofball,” he snickered.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have done all these nice things for you then,” you pouted as you tried to get out of his embrace. “No, no, please. I’m only playing. What’s for dinner, tell me?” he asked, sitting down at the table as you took your own seat. “Welllll,” you started to say. “I figured you could use a nice, really yummy meal, so I ordered us steak and potatoes.” Ruggie opened his togo plate, his eyes lighting up at the food in front of him. You opened yours as well and started to eat.

“At least these are in togo plates, they won’t be added to that stack of dishes behind me,” Ruggie said as he turned to look at the sink. “Oh..,” he said looking back at you. “You… you did the dishes?” The question was his being both sarcastic but also impressed. “Hey, shut up, I was trying to help,” you said with a laugh. Ruggie smiled as he kept eating. “Your laundry is getting done, too,” you said motioning to the washer. Ruggie turned as he took a bite of his steak, his mouth half full in his response. “Ohh, so that’s why you came into the bathroom.I was wondering why you didn’t say anything,” he laughed. You hung your mouth open in shock, you thought for sure he hadn’t heard you. Maybe you were louder than you thought. “You heard me?! Why didn’t you say something, I thought I was so sneaky,” you said, putting shredded cheese on your potato. “I mean…. Look at who you’re with, you can’t out sneak a sneak,” he said tapping his temple twice.

Ruggie toyed with his food a little and smiled at his plate before looking up at you again. “Ya know, it means a lot to me that you’d do all this when you don’t have to. I don’t want you to feel like you have to take care of me,” he said softly. “You are my absolute world, I love you dearly.”

His words were warm and comforting, a sensation you loved feeling while he spoke. “Rug, I love you, too. That’s why I want to help you, even if it’s something small, I just don’t want you to feel like the weight of the world is on your back. Let me help you carry it. I don’t mind doing stuff for you, you do stuff for me all the time. I just want to care for you, the way you care for me,” you assured him.

“Thank you, I’ll try to ask for help more, that is IF I feel like I need it,” he snickered. You narrowed your eyes at him, he couldn’t stay serious longer than 5 minutes to save his life sometimes. “You are such an asshat, I can’t stand you,” you teased. Ruggie grinned as he gave your nose a boop. “No, no, you love me. I know you do,” he purred as you both continued to finish your plates.

[bastionbibi]

Hi it’s me Drabble anon again I made this and I’m very sorry since it’s kinda sad but there is comfort to it. Thank you have a good day enjoy:

Immediately, Hiromitsu knew that something was wrong the moment he came back after checking on Rei to see his brother come back home, his shoulders stiff with tension and stress. He’s learned how to better identify when Taka’aki is having a bad day through observing him from the beyond but he has no idea what happened so he turned to his parents who had been keeping an eye on him, asking, “Hey Mom, Dad, what happened?”

“Your brother had a difficult day, I think he got burnt out after non-stop cases and paperwork over the week.” His father answered, his gaze following Taka’aki as he removes his coat and sat on the couch, exhaling sharply as he bent over, placing his elbows to his knees and his face to his palms. There were a concerning amount of cases happening during the week but Hiromitsu didn’t expect it to be too much.

“Oh poor dear, he must be completely exhausted. I’ll go make him some tea.” His mother said with a worried frown before she floats over to the kitchen, failing to suppress her audible cusses as she struggles to pick up the kettle, accidentally dropping it in the process and startling Kou, the cat Taka’aki took in. Taka’aki himself took notice of the noise and stood up, walking over to the kitchen to pick up the kettle before saying, “It’s alright mother, allow me.”

It might be strange for Taka’aki to be seemingly talking to no one but he knows that he’s not alone, that his family is watching over him. Some instances, he can tell who is there based on deduction and behaviours; such as how Hiromitsu or Aoi are usually the ones who write notes since they have the best grasps, his mother would often make tea and always check the doors to ensure they’re locked and his father would try to lift and push a pillow to Taka’aki to get him to sleep during late nights or would shift things here and there to make the place a bit tidier.

Yet sometimes, even with all that, the loneliness creeps back. Even with his friends, his family and Kou, he still feels lonely. Perhaps it’s because he’s been suppressing his stress up until now but the hectic week alongside these unwanted feelings brew a horrible storm, as though there was static buzzing around, clouding his thoughts and irritating his head, weighing heavily on his heart. This wasn’t the first instance of such feelings and every time he either buried it deep down until it resurfaced again or wait for it to pass.

A familiar warmth envelop Taka’aki and Kou nuzzled up to his leg as though sensing his plight and he realised that he hadn’t filled the kettle at all. He sighs and reassures, “I’m alright, I am simply tired.”

A blanket floats over, draping over his shoulders as a pen and notebook Taka’aki bought for Hiromitsu and Aoi to write in clattered onto the counter. The pen floats up and started writing, while it’s still quite shaky, there was a small swell of pride in Taka’aki as he sees how Hiromitsu has improved with his handwriting and grasp.

‘Are you sure? And no lying to us for the sake of reassuring us.’ Hiromitsu wrote and Taka’aki couldn’t hold back his smile before he lets his shoulders sag and lets it out, “If I were to be honest, no, I am not but I don’t know why. It’s not only the stress, but these feelings inside that I can’t control. It’s… Difficult to describe.”

The pen moves again and Hiromitsu writes, ‘You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. We’re here for you, do you want to just lay down?’

“Yes, that sounds good.” Taka’aki nods, grateful as he sets the kettle down and goes to his bedroom, Kou following behind him. He unceremoniously flops over his bed, holding back an amused chuckle as he watches Kou hop up and claims it’s territory on the bed, curling up. “You already have your own bed, you don’t need to sleep in mine.”

Still, Taka’aki made no effort to move the cat as he adjusts his position and stares up at the ceiling, waiting for either the heavy static to leave his mind or for him to fall asleep. He could feel multiple presences surround him, giving comfort and warmth. Taka’aki gives an appreciative nod as he lays back, the peaceful silence of the world broken only by Kou’s soft snores and the pen writing once more. The notebook flops down into Taka’aki’s chest and he found himself smiling as he picks it up and reads it out loud.

“‘Even if today isn’t okay, that’s fine. We still love you Taka’aki-nii, dad and mom and I are so proud of you. Take the time you need, you’re doing great.’ Thank you, Hiromitsu, mother, father. I love you too.”

Im going to answer this like im live tweeting my reaction lets ggo

Ok ok ok so when I read this and saw Hiro saying he just got back from "checking on Rei" I honestly thought this was an AU when he's alive but NOO.

HE'S STILL A GHOST, WATCHING OVER HIS BROTHER AND HIS BESTFRIEND 😭💔😭

You know when you said 'observing him from the beyond' I wonder if there's still a layer seperating them, like the strong poltergeist shows that they can still haunt people/places but I wonder if there's another way he can reach out 🤔🤔 Look at me and my wishful thinking

AH. HE CAN AT LEAST KNOW THEYRE AROUND!! (The image of mom floating around is cute.)

Im in love with the way he can just tell who is there?? The only thing left is a hug 😔😔😔

Ok but the whole feeling lonely in a crowd thing?? Delicious, one of my fave trope. EXTREMELY PAINFUL. But delicious.

THEY CAN LIFT A BLANKET!!!

At this point he should team up with his baby brother and be the detective with a ghost side kick hehe ( <- girl whos trying to make this less sad)

Also as a nagano trio truther, I hope being around kanchan and yui will make him feel less lonely eventually 😔😔

Thank u again for this, drabble anon ♡♡♡ i now shall cry over ghostly baby brother hiro just ghosting around while his big bro sleeps

(Also do you know what this reminds me off?? Loosely, not like, plot wise or character based, but this concept reminds me of Beyond: Two Souls from way back when.)

[prince-toffee]

A New Breed of Rose

Blaze didn't pretend to understand what Silver did or how he did it. Timetravel was a complex and tiring subject to try to understand. She wasn't even sure Silver fully understood how it worked. He once told her that 'Timetravel in itself was breaking the rules. The more you timetravel, the less the rules apply to you.' That was as much as her brain could comprehend form that conversation. He didn't speak often about his timetraveling escapades, never wanted to worry her with threats he faced or with the existential dread the duty made him face on a near day to day basis. Fixing the future, futures - was difficult, and it weighed heavily on his mind. But never his heart. He always returned the same naive goofy Silver. Always came back to her, for her. So when Silver told her off handedly that he began to cultivate a garden at the end of time she just kinda dismissed it as another part of background white noise, another unimaginable feat too big for moral minds to comprehend, that sort of stuff, heard it all the time. She didn't think much of it - until, her birthday.

It was a long day for the cat, the morning filled with mundane, mind-numbing meetings and mountains of paperwork. The rest of the day was arguably worse. The Princess' birthday was officialy categorised as a national holiday. Which meant massive preparations, parades, parties, festivals in the streets, firework shows, and Blaze was forced to attend all of it. She didn't mind the holiday part, she was glad to see her people enjoying themselves and celebrating each other's company. But it was all made to be about her, people were obliged to come up to her and wish her health and fortune and bow before her. Rich benefactors from across the isles sent gifts and riches all to sleaze their way into her good graces. Occasionally even asking for her hand in marriage. She scoffed everytime. She just threw the presents away. It all made her feel so uncomfortable. She'd usually manage to stomach it all with Silver at her side to distract her. But Silver was unfortunately busy, away in some distant timeline stopping five different timestreams from colliding into each other, whatever that meant. The day dragged on, it was the longest day of her life, quite literally as Blaze was born on the longest day of summer. But eventually, she was let go and ventured back to her bed chambers, exhausted, all that was on her mind was the softness of her bed and a good night's sleep. But a different type of softness met her as she opened the door to her room.

A quilled figure framed against moonlight, with their fur shimmering beautifully stood in her room. Silver had returned, and barely in one piece. She quickly rushed to him, cupping his face in her hands as she looked over him. A plaster across his nose. A scar running across his lips. A black eye, he could barely open. His whole body covered in bandages, cuts and bruises everywhere. He was even missing a tooth on his upper right side! Blaze was horrified. But Silver just smiled sheepishly, fully presenting his missing tooth. "Happy Birthday, Blazey." He said deep and low, almost a murmur, the feline noticed a bruise around his neck.

"Silvy, by The Sol Emeralds what happened to you?!"

"I'm not too late am I? For your birthday? I'd feel horrible if I was." He seemingly ignored the question. "I tried to get back sooner, but the chronometre in my suit must've malfunctioned in the quantum storm, I lost the track of time, literally, ha ha." He laughed as he realised he accidently made a pun.

"No, what happened to you, you're hurt! Who hurt y- Are those arrows sticking out of your back?!" Yes they were.

"Oh, yeah, that last sun-eater came out of nowhere. Anyways," He remarked non-chalontly, "I got you something." Only then did Blaze realise Silver was holding a long white box in his hands. He brought her a present.

"Silver, you-- you didn't have to. Just set it aside and let me look you over." She began to drag him by his shoulders towards her bed.

"Please, at least open it first, I worked really hard on it." She turned back to face him. His face was still smiling sheepishly. It set her heart a flutter, for a split second her irises lit up in a fiery orange glow before being subdued by Blaze's willpower.

She gently took hold of the rectangular lid of the box and lifted it. Inside the box, laying on a golden silk pillow, was a rose. But not like any kind of rose Blaze had ever seen. It was beautiful. She stared at it a moment. "Can I?" What was she asking, of course she could, it was her present. Silver nodded happily. Blaze carefully took the rose by the stem and brought it closer to her face, she twirled it, examining it from all angles. She was mesmerised. In all honesty Blaze couldn't quite comprehend what she was seeing. The stem of the rose was a dark purple with crytaline thorns at its sides. The petals were as if she was looking out into outerspace through a telescope. They were moving, something was moving, and shimmering. The closest thing she could have compared it to was a nebula, the reminants of a supernova, like The Pillars of Creation, which she only saw in her study books when she was younger. The petals looked almost like glass, like a window through which she was viewing the nebula. But there was something else moving. Little specks of dust circling around the petals. Their movements choreographed as they followed the path of thin circles surrounding the flower. Blaze squinted. She looked closer. And she was shocked at what she saw! They were orbital cycles! And those weren't specks of dust, or pollen, they were planets! Blaze pulled back. She was holding a solar system in her hands.

"Do you like it? It's a replica of our solar system."

"It's beautiful, Silver. But how-"

"Well, remember when I said I was cultivating a garden at the end of time? It's one of those! It's what I've been working on for the past few... wwwweeks? Time is funny sometimes. I know you don't like presents or your birthday, but it just felt wrong not celebrating it. You're the most important person in my life. I feel like I always have to show you how much I really appreciate everything you've done for me. I was going to get you something small, because I know you don't like big gifts, but when I get started and I get an idea, you know, I give it 110%. And I thought, hey, you like to help me out in the garden sometimes so maybe-- I'm rambling, sorry. Point: it's a new breed of rose..." His markings began to light up, his equivalent of a blush, "I was going to call it The Blaze. But that might be too... sappy."

She simply smiled and softly nudged him with her shoulder, "I think that's what you excell at." Her golden eyes returned to the flower, "Honestly, Silver, you do too much." She said with a giddy smile.

Silver's own smile disappeared for a moment as his mind flashed to a dream he half remembered, a nightmare that haunted him for years now, it was so vivid and realistic, like a memory of something he once lived. But it couldn't be. Fire. Ruin. Her leaving him. An ultimate sacrifice. "... I feel like I don't do enough." The joy in his eyes dulled and his head bowed down, looking at the floor. Another intrusive thought. He hated those. Maybe his pills were wearing off, he should've probably taken some more by now. He forgot again. Idiot. Idiot.

A soft yet strong hand lifted his chin up, her thumb running across the scar on his lips. She made sure their eyes locked again.

She spoke softly and husky, the way he liked, "Thank you, Silvy."

He shook a little. But he musttered up the strength to respond, "Thank you, for giving me a life worth coming back to."

"Alright, alright, you're using hyperbole again. You know I can't take complements. Let's get you looked at, and... let's get those arrows out of you. And I'll find a nice vace for this rose."

"Thank you, Blaze, I mean it."

"I know. Well, to let you know, no, you're not late, it's 11:52. It's still my birthday. And it's alright if you did miss it, I know you're busy too. Though it is nice to have you back so soon. I hate it when you leave for months on end. I always worry, that you might get lost out there, that you won't find your way back to me. "

"Aww, but, I'll always come back to you, Jalapeno." He remarked cutely. Blaze immediately turned away from him and began to drag him to the bed again. She had a first aid kit in her nightstand, that was just her life. That pet name. It drove her crazy. So stupid. So naive. It filled her with embarrassment, her body heat skyrocketing, her willpower barely holding back the flames from bursting from her fur. Yet she never told him to stop calling her that. If anyone else ever dared to call her that they'd be dead in seconds. But hearing that come from him... She'd allow it. "Ugh, shut up, and sit down. You're so naive."

[asumofwords]

Hello! I love Smoke, Fire and Ash so much I look forward to every updte and love how well you have grown the character and the story! I am always sitting on the edge of my seat with every new chapter! But I was wondering why rhaenyra hasnt named the reader her heir? I hope youre feelign better soon xx

Ah! Thank you so much for this message, I am so glad you are loving S,F&A. <3 Also feeling much better today! Just a lil tired

As for the Rhaenyra question damn... I got a lot to say haha it will all be underneath the cut

So as we know, Rhaenyra is a deeply complex and incredible character (Team Black forever and always) and for me, she is a character that has gone through a lot in so little time. But there is no question that she fiercely LOVES her children.

She had a lot of expectations thrust upon her at such a young age.

One of the main reasons Rhaenyra hasn't named the reader her heir is because she believes she is saving her from the same fate she was subjected to (an unwanted marriage, even though she is now wed to Aemond, the expectation for heirs, the whispers of court, loss and war).

Here was a headstrong girl who grew up being named heir and being adamant that she could change the way the people thought, and then once the time came, the realm was split into two.

She had always fought with the misogyny of the realm and the men who had sworn themselves to her, and she is terrified that by naming the reader her heir (despite the reader wanting it, just as Rhaenyra had) she is signing her up for a lifetime of misery.

By Rhaenyra naming the reader as heir, she would be expected to stay married to Aemond, and birth heirs of her own. She would be watched with a close eye by the realm, and subjected to the courts whispers.

Rhaenyra has become disillusioned by the war, and especially by Lucerys and Visenya's death. Any hope she had to change the realm for women has dwindled, after all, most time spent after a war is rebuilding not changing.

As she said, the people would never accept two Queens. And she is right. The men of the realm would not. The tensions are already incredibly high. And a second war, would break out, and the support that Rhaenyra had would likely turn cloak.

BUT

Rhaenyra also worries for the reader. After the stint at the Riverlands, Rhaenyra fears that the reader may become a second Maegor. She has watched the way her daughter has changed, and has become more prone to outbursts, no longer being able to control her anger. She is concerned for her daughters safety, and the stress of the crown would weigh heavily on her.

All in all, Rhaenyra is an amazing parent, who deeply cares for her children. She would die for her children, a good example of this would be when she threw herself in front of Alicent and Lucerys, or when she walked through the Keep literally after giving birth to bring her son to Alicent. But she is also scarred and changed by loss and war, just the same as the reader.

[nevalizona]

Just a fragment about Aldridge from when he was in college.

Pardon any errors.

He stood by the phone debating if he was going to make the call. All day long the idea has twisted his stomach up, and made him feel terrible. He wouldn’t have worried about it if it wasn’t for Hunter calling to tell him, she wanted to hear from him. Guilt is his least favorite feeling. It’s one that has always plagued him. It’s all her fault, she’s always made him feel guilty about everything. It’s her birthday, he should call, it’s what a good son would do, but he’s never been a great son and she’s never shied away from admitting that. His hand hovered over the rotary, the number he knows better than any other flashed through his mind. A simple phone call won’t hurt, and he’s sure, in her own weird way, she would be glad to hear from him, or she wouldn’t have brought him up to Hunter at all. He was tired of bickering with himself, so he put the number in and waited.

“Aldridge residence.” She answered, polite and quiet, just the way she always was. This made him realize how long it’s been since he heard her speak. His heart ached at the familiar sound.

“Hey mom.” He gripped the phone tight in his hand, resting against the wall next to the phone, he regretted calling already.

“Con?”

“Yeah mom, it’s me, Connor. Happy birthday.” He wondered if she could tell he was smiling, he hoped so. It wasn’t forced, he doesn’t think. It felt genuine.

“Thank you, Con. I thought you forgot…” She didn’t sound too ecstatic on the other line, but she never has. He tried to remind himself that this is normal. Their relationship isn’t any worse than it was before.

“No. I’m just busy with school and all. Uh I have a girlfriend, her name is Delilah. I spend most of my time with her when I’m not studying or working.” He rambled on, for some reason feeling obligated to get her caught up on his life.

“Delilah? That’s a pretty name. How’s that going? Are you watching out for that temper?”

He rolled his eyes.

“Can’t you just congratulate me once? Does everything have to turn into a lecture? Yes, I am trying to keep cool. Focusing on not sitting in my anger. Is that what you wanted to know mom? Worried that I am off doing some heinous bullshit you have convinced yourself I’m capable of?” He snapped, standing up straight, vision starting to go red. She always has this effect on him.

“You don’t have to raise your voice at me, Connor. Not on my birthday. You just never call me anymore.”

“When have I ever?” He regretted saying that the second it slipped off his tongue. He knew that was terribly mean to tell her. He felt his own heart squeeze, he could only imagine how that must have made her feel.

“This was a mistake.” She said softly, voice weak and wobbly like she could start crying at any second.

“Mom, I’m sorry. You don’t deserve that. I’ll try calling again in a week or two. I’ll be better about staying in touch.” He felt defeated, like maybe he is a terrible man. Who gets mad at their mother for just looking out for them?

“That would be nice, Con. I’m tired of finding out stuff from Hunter.” Both were quiet after that, unsure of what to say. Neither are good at the whole ‘conversation thing’ when it comes to the other.

“Well, I hope you have a good birthday mom. Eat an extra slice of cake for me, love you.” He felt like the phone weighed a thousand pounds, he wanted to hang up and pretend that none of this happened. Like today was any other Wednesday.

She sighed heavily, ‘Thanks, Con. You too.” The line cut and he let out a loud, audible sigh. What’s even the point of dealing with this woman?

He headed outside to his car. He hates talking to his mom these days, she makes him think too much and feel too much about a time he has long put behind him. He knows that she’s just worried. It’s what mother’s do. They worry about their rambunctious boys that caused too much trouble in their youth. He knows she has never looked at him the same way since 'the incident' when he was a kid. The fight. The other boy looked terrified, but not as scared as his dear mother did. He thinks about that day when he’s got nothing else going on in his brain. He can hear her crying and begging him to be good. But that was then, and now he is grown. Far away from her and her suffocating fears. He isn’t the monster his mother thought he was, at least that’s what he tells himself. He knows deep down there is something in him that craves violence, but he will never give in. His anger is bad enough, and he’s doing everything he can to make sure it stays controllable. He’s never scaring another girlfriend again, and he certainly doesn’t want Delilah leaving him because of his temper.

It’s easy for him to blame this all on his mother. It’s not her fault and it will never be her fault, no matter how many arguments he and his brother get into about the topic. He can make the right choice, and be a good person, prove his mother wrong by being better, a good man. But it’s a hard thing to do, but he tries.

[borkthemork]

is there a directors commentary on Quantum Mechanics from your Beyond the Music Box collection ?

Oooo, I haven't touched this one in a hot second, I definitely could! So if anyone is curious about the drabble they're talking about, I'll be putting a link to it in here, and under the "Read More" I shall discuss the process I did with creating it overall.

So, back when Temple Frogs came out, the implication of Marcy's journal had intrigued me the moment Anne pulled it up on screen, and of course a great deal of authors had also noticed the same too!

The fact she had Marcy's journal since the beginning, that she perused through and learned to translate runes, was enough to get my brain whirring and I had to work on it.

With Quantum Mechanics, I started writing at 1 AM. I couldn't stop thinking about Anne and how I could format the whole drabble to exemplify a specific weariness — a weariness of having the world weighed down upon your shoulders, of a sleep deprivation that was haunted by your mistakes and worries that couldn't be alleviated.

Since I was sleep-deprived at that time, I was in the mindset that helped accompany that feeling. In knowing that my awareness was impaired, I started to focus heavily on blurring the reality that Anne was in.

Anne Boonchuy was tired before A Fight at the Museum's end revelation. She studied whatever she could to understand how to get back to Amphibia, to the point she researched books, lectures, and videos that were out of her realm of common knowledge. That is dedication. That is a girl set on a goal, and since I had been researching physics stuff in my personal time, I let that rub into the beginning rambles of Marcy too to help with the whole atmosphere of it!

Marcy's voice has been a favorite of mine to explore. I had practice in writing with it during my time with my other fic Falling Down Dry, and since I had similar questions to Amphibia's world, I allowed myself to turn all this jargon into what Marcy probably would've said. That this world is so hypothetically insane and opens up so many ideas and theoretical to our current understanding of science that not many people think about.

Of course, I am merely an amateur, so information could be inaccurate. However, that wouldn't be a problem since Marcy is a kid, and kids can be inaccurate occasionally, haha.

But in using this beginning, I was able to transition to Anne's mindset pretty well. Marcy is speaking to her through the journal. By giving Marcy the format to talk, where the only distinction is the italics and is meshing to the narrative's prose, then the reality bending becomes easier for Anne's perspective to exploit.

When one is tired and doing research, there comes this futile slog in trying to find answers. For Anne, I wanted to describe it pretty well in her writing style. Season 3A had implied to the audience that Anne is tired, even Escape to Amphibia compounded this with how quick Anne was to break down over feeling powerless over her capabilities.

Anne Boonchuy, by all means, worked really hard to get to this point. Like, what was she supposed to do in this situation? The audience could go "Oh yeah they'll definitely get back home" but Anne doesn't know that.

In her reality, she had to take initiative and research so many ways to return to her other home, and I'll always emphasize the feeling of cycling back to the same place or theme, which is kind of why a great deal of my drabbles like attempting to bring their stories back to a familiar place by the end of the day.

Akin to a "The end is engrained in the beginning" type of shizz.

One of the important things I try to bring to the table with Anne would be that this girl is stubborn, so unbelievably stubborn.

Even if there are points where she wanted to give up, she had this internal anxiety in her that wants to keep her on the go. She is going to try even if it sounds stupid, and even with her growth and more maternal protection state, Anne never stopped believing in people and doing what she believed was right.

And it's depressing to think about how much she had to think about Marcy and Sasha.

It's depressing to theorize about Anne losing self-awareness from sleep deprivation, and in wanting to see Marcy again — to hear her through the journal — she started to imagine what it would be like for Marcy to sit beside her. To help her in the journey for a way home.

That the journal truly was a medium for Anne to reassure herself that Marcy's soul was still apparent through the texts.

It took a second rewrite to get the type of drabble I wanted, and I posted it at 3 AM before I went to sleep, but I do believe that Quantum Mechanics hit that part in me that wanted to see Anne's grieving process.

I wanted to see her think about Marcy, about how much Marcy's betrayal and potential death muddled the way she functioned in a subtle yet obvious way, and I hope the story was able to show that!

[luvsavos]

Hey, it’s the Aiden anon again! I’m sorry bro, but I don’t have Discord, but I’m STILL SUPER interested on your thoughts on Aiden. PLEASE I’m begging you Mr. Martin, I need a MASSIVE text post from you about him. And honestly it’s for my friend too. Aiden is her babygirl. She has been in love/loved him since 4U and we both are always so excited to see him.

oh hello again!! it's no worries that you don't have discord, i definitely do Not at ALL mind going on a ramble about my boy, though i absolutely apologize in advance for the length of this post LMAO

for the most part until after the events of iceborne, my interpretation of him is fairly close to canon, though there is Some differences or original things here and there so disclaimer in advance since i'm maintagging this for canon divergence, this is my own little au that i am completely normal and not at all insane about; all of the stuff post-fatalis is based on rps with a friend so there's a Lot

if you/whoever's reading this just want my general Thoughts on aiden as a character and not my whole batshit insane au lore stuff, that'll be at the bottom of the post! (sorry)

when he was a kid, he was pretty carefree as you'd expect, he loved to help out around the village when he wasn't off playing with the other kids or his little sister (i don't think we ever got anything about his bio family in canon so this was entirely just me making things up LMAO). when the elder dragon activity caused the monster stampede that destroyed his village when he was only 7, he tried desperately to save people (specifically his sister) but, of course, failed, and i BELIEVE i'd headcanoned that he watched At Least One of his family members actively get gored/trampled by some monsters?

obviously the entire experience left him with a fear of monsterkind, and even into adulthood it still weighs heavily on him and likely occasionally causes nightmares and the likes. running blindly from the stampede with absolutely no sense of direction nor semblance of anything to help him survive in the wilderness, it's a miracle that he came across timben when he did, and naturally the people there took him in. though still weighed down by his trauma, aiden did his best to be as helpful around the village as possible, and he quickly became popular among the villagers for his willingness and readiness to help out wherever he could, and for his cheerful, outgoing personality. eventually, he decided he was tired of being frightened of monsters, so he took to studying them and making puns of their names as a way to cope and make himself less afraid of them. all this is pretty much just canon so far, from the legends of the guild movie (save for the parts about his old village, other than the stampede thing; i think that's the only real details we get about his home village?)

and then, of course, when he was fifteen (this isn't his canon age, i don't entirely know how old he's supposed to be in lotg? i THINK 17-18 but cmon he gives me the vibes of Unmedicated Adhd Teenager. fun fact julius is only 4 years older than aiden so that makes him 19 in this so that doesn't make a ton of sense but its fine i can ignore that, bro's already stressed himself to the point of white hair LMAO i think i'd make him a bit older than that though, maybe in his mid-late twenties?) came the elder crossing, and with it came julius, to warn timben of an oncoming lunastra that was headed in their direction. honestly idk why i'm recapping this canon stuff but listen i love talking about aiden okay ahdnsbfjgn

since the villagers refused to budge, aiden accompanied julius to go see the elder dragon for himself so that he can tell the villagers so they'll evacuate, and of course imprinted onto julius like an orphaned (ha bad joke) duckling along the way

don't need to recap all of lotg since it all plays out the same way; he admired everyone that helped try to fight off the lunastra, but he particularly looked up to mae like an older sister (this would later lead him to naming a kinsect paisley in honour of her's), and he still in present-day keeps her journal. the entire experience was... rough on him. he didn't feel any sense of victory, just a sort of hollowness and guilt---he blamed himself for mae and ravi's deaths, considering it was his impulsive suggestion to fight the lunastra rather than run that got them killed. it also left him with a permanent terror of lunastra specifically (this will come into relevance somewhat a bit later), and it solidified his resolve to become a proper hunter, so that he could learn how to properly fight monsters and protect people like he wanted to, and ensure nothing like that would happen again.

now here's where we start to get a Liddol Bit of canon divergence; anyone who's talked to me about my au knows that i REALLY like the idea of the guild being not as clean and morally sound as they like to seem---i really like exploring the concept of corruption within it, and the shady practices they keep under wraps. after all, power tends to breed corruption, and even if it's run by wyverians and Is primarily dedicated to genuinely trying to preserve the balance, the guild IS an incredibly powerful and influential organization (if not the single most powerful/influential one in the mh universe), and that's likely going to inevitably attract people who don't exactly have the best intentions in mind.

so! the guild. guild knights. we know that the knights are sent out to deal with poachers and the likes via apprehending them and/or killing them. that already means that, more than likely, our sweet boy aiden has human blood on his hands. so why not delve into that? aiden tended to prefer to stick to just helping protect and maintain the safety of places rather than do the whole Killing People thing, as i don't doubt that the concept of taking another human/wyverian/etc life upsets him. HOWEVER. early on into his days as a knight, he was sent out with a group of unfamiliar knights to deal with a velocidrome that was "causing problems" in a small village. the problems? it had been injured, and an old woman that lived some distance away from the village had taken it back to her house and nursed it back to health, and it chose to simply Stay, and that made the villagers uneasy. honestly, it wasn't really causing any genuine issues---it was just existing and choosing to stay with the person that had saved its life. the orders were clear cut: deal with "the problem" by any means necessary. aiden was gentler than the others (who were far more shady and... much less well-intentioned than him), but the woman was resolute in that she wouldn't let them kill the drome. so, as a "rite of passage," so to speak, the other guild knights forced aiden to kill not only the velocidrome, but the old woman as well. Guild Trauma, Babey!

the experience left a lasting mark on him, and he never told julius or the other ace hunters what exactly happened, but they could all tell that Something had based on how quiet and somber he was for several days after the incident. that was the first human life he took, and while he's undoubtedly had to kill poachers and other people who genuinely Were in the wrong, knowing that he has innocent blood on his hands has remained with him even long after he left the guild to join with the research commission. i'm nice to my faves i swear (<- lying)

so! fast forward to the commission, since there's not much else of importance for his guild days (yet, once i play 4u/gu this might change). this is where things really start to get divergent as they involve my ocs so buckle up lads we're going on An Adventure™️

like i said, really things are Mostly the same until post-iceborne; rather than a proper hunter, my player character oc is a "rider" that was raised by an anjanath so rather than kill all the monsters (though he doesn't have much issue with doing so) in the story some were simply communicated with and/or relocated if necessary, ie the agitated pukei, vaal hazak ("without a vaal hazak the entire rotten vale ecosystem would collapse!" [kills vaal hazak anyways] thank you monster hunter very cool!)

aiden takes a liking to the field team leader (achilles, as my friend i rp with named him<3) and they grow closer throughout base world, enough so that aiden ends up his second-in-command in seliana (this appears to be canon? idk he can be seen giving out more direct orders during the defense of seliana quest while ftl gives out generalized ones and theyre Always Seen Together except for in One (1) cutscene, post-velkhana death (i'm normal about them i promise) and theyre both at the council table right next to each other.....), things are Nice, everything's Great

and then Fatalis Happens. canonly, as i recall, aiden Nearly Died because of fatalis. like. lea/serious handler talks about how if he'd died she doesn't know how she would've kept going, aiden talks about how thinking about julius and ftl gave him the strength and willpower to keep fighting (totally normal bro things to say just guys being dudes am i right) and Not Die, it's a whole Thing. so my interpretation of aiden has a TON of absolutely AWFUL burn scars across the right side of his body from that. they're obviously nowhere near as bad as they COULD be, since i'm assuming he had some fire res on his build (that feels weird to say when not talking about gameplay), but they're still Bad because. well. fatalis LMAO

fast forward an indeterminate amount of time (i don't think my friend and i ever decided on how far after fatalis our stuff is💀) and everything's Great. here's where the balls to the wall canon divergence starts btw! shang, my "rider" oc, has helped people learn that some monsters can be reasoned with, and the monsters he's befriended are allowed about the base and the reach as they please (even if some AHEM VUGEL (my bastard of an ebony odogaron) COUGH are an absolute hindrance on purpose). aiden and ftl have gotten together by this point. shang's taken in a lot of orphaned monsters, one of which is a little lunastra that he's named chang'e, that seems to sense aiden's unease and tries to capitalize on it, but shang (halfheartedly) tries to hold the young elder dragon back from doing so.

one particularly notable monster around base is a gold-crown sized namielle, "nami," who's pretty much adopted shang. she's warm, motherly, and after the initial unease of having An Entire Elder Dragon around wore off she quickly became a familiar and welcomed face. another is the mountain god, shara ishvalda themself, having chosen to try to aid the commission as a way to "apologize" for the damage and chaos their presence in the everstream caused. nami's presence attracts a tall, foreboding man, with white hair and a beard, scars across his face, a permanent resting glare, and piercing golden eyes---he speaks very little, and when he does it's in a low mutter, and he seems to be observing the people of seliana. his presence is dread-inducing and sparks much unease, but nami is ecstatic to see him, stating he is an old friend who she hasn't seen in ages. for some time, things continue normally---until an argument between shara and nami breaks out, and the imposing stranger reveals his true nature as a dire miralis-sized white fatalis; the destroyer moon, alaakiilah, he who wiped out the ancients in a single night, in order to get the pair to cease their bickering.

aiden ends up being absolutely fascinated by al---sure, he's scared shitless of fatalis, but all the same... a fatalis, there, IN seliana, the fatalis of legend, and he's... not attacking them. granted, it's because he knows nami is fond of the mortals there, and he begrudgingly promised her that he wouldn't do anything to them, but still. the moon god is begrudgingly tolerant of aiden, and eventually achilles as well, as the pair typically don't stray far from one another (unless they Do, but that's not relevant right now), and eventually, through sheer persistence in his fascination, aiden (and achilles) are allowed the one single highest honour one can have: the permission to touch alaakiilah's beard. much as he might disdain to admit it, al ends up being genuinely, albeit begrudgingly, fond of aiden, and aiden's all but dadopted him (he's collecting white haired father figures, isn't he?). this comes into more relevance later.

after some time, al comes across an abandoned fatalis egg (i have my own whole Thing on fatalis eggs and reproduction in general but that's its own post LOL), which he brought back to the supply cache (after achilles offered to let him nest there with the egg) to incubate, and after a day, it hatches, into a tiny, defenseless, harmless baby female fatalis, which namielle names yunhind---that translating to "new hope," in honour of how no fatalis in recorded history has ever been raised in proximity to mortals before, and the destroyer moon's decision to trust in the commission to not fuck things up. the little one immediately takes a liking to aiden, and though he's more than a little nervous at first at the prospect of babysitting the destroyer of humanity's adopted child, he quickly becomes more confident in it as she grows and he becomes more attached to her---it makes him think back to his younger sister, and his inability to protect her, and he's determined to make sure absolutely nothing happens to yunhind.

there's a whole Thing that happens with the guild, having learned of the abundance of monsters around seliana, threatening achilles to try and pressure him into killing and/or relocating them all to "protect the people," then taking matters into their own hands when he refuses---this entire debacle (affectionately dubbed The Guild Arc, Part One) leaves aiden shaken up as it confirms a lot of his fears and doubts that have been building under the surface for years on end now.

fatalis mature quickly, even when naturally hatched, and within a few months, yunhind is a fully grown and wholly unique fatalis, dubbed an "ashen fatalis" due to adapting to her surroundings and taking on the properties of ice element as well as fire (they're interchangeable, though her ability to use both at once is somewhat limited), and the unique ability to transfer energy to heal others, and her scales being an ashy grey colour. she spends most of her time in her human form, and she views aiden like an older brother. things settle back down around base, and everything is okay again.

until it's not, of course<3

achilles goes missing, which stresses aiden out, naturally--and then vodrem happens, because nothing good lasts forever. well, vodrem happens Again, but i hadn't started rping aiden by the first time, so uhhh. idk he was on a vacation in the old world i guess?? that was an entire Year before the second Vodrem Event

now, dear reader, you're probably wondering, "martin who the fuck is vodrem", which is a VERY good question! vodrem is my nonfandom/multiverse god of chaos oc, who's part of his own little original oc bubble, though they're all based on monhun monsters; vodrem in particular is based on nergigante and morodumunto, though he usually takes the form of a not-quite-right nergigante

he makes a habit of consuming entire universes for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and psychologically tormenting people just for the hell of its. he's power hungry, immensely dangerous, and cunning.

in his wake, he leaves "instabilities"; where the very fabric of reality itself gets fucked up, and these can have a variety of effects on anything that enter the area, but the most common has been people getting turned into monsters. the five were INCREDIBLY meticulous about mending any left behind after the first vodrem event, and they made absolutely certain to mend them all.

but a new one appeared. one which aiden wandered into---the change wasn't instantaneous, it started with just feeling sick and feverish, with heat specifically concentrated in his chest, to the point that it would get unbearable and he'd have to lay in the snow just for some relief, and finding his temper to be increasingly short and explosive. then came the headaches and soreness of the throat, and tiny black scales forming across his skin. then the desire to find some small space outdoors, perhaps a cave or the likes, though he ended up seeking comfort (ironically) in the destroyer moon's presence. i'm sure you can see where this is going, yes?

of all the monsters in the world, it had to be a fatalis. because of course it would be. as you'd expect, this caused him an IMMENSE amount of distress on top of the distress he already had from achilles' absence. for some time, there were no other signs of vodrem, and yunhind and al (mostly yunhind) helped aiden learn How To Fatalis.

and then all hell broke lose, as it does with vodrem. he claimed to have killed achilles, and though aiden had been trying his absolute damndest to suppress the fatalis rage and instincts, he let them overtake him---he went after vodrem, intending to unleash an ocean of flame upon him... didn't SUCCEED, all he got was speared through the lung and his back torn into by vodrem, the wounds afflicted with what was dubbed as "tarblight"; a corrosive, highly painful substance that vodrem secrets that seems to only be able to be cured by vodrem himself or his much more well-intentioned brother, vodinok. for the rest of the fight, aiden was simply unconscious, so he doesn't have much relevance for the rest of it. as i recall, one of the five managed to transform him back into a human, and vodinok cured the tarblight while yunhind healed his wounds.

unfortunately for my poor darling aiden, the form of the fatalis is not one so easily controlled, and so despite the five's best efforts, that part of him never really left---strong negative emotions still cause spontaneous transformations, and he's typically very skittish and nervous in this form because of how hard it is to suppress the fatalis instincts. the transformations take a LOT of energy out of him too, and while he CAN force a transformation back, that takes even more energy, so he's usually just kinda Stuck like that for a few days, which he usually spends hunkered in the supply cache, because for as good as he's gotten at maintaining his usual demeanor, the innate rage and violent instincts are always just a breath away from the surface, bubbling and boiling, like a pot of water just seconds away from boiling over. Not at All a fun experience for him!

after this the Guild Arc Part 2 happens, with aiden traveling to the old world with al to retrieve achilles from the corrupt and shady part of the guild who'd come to seliana in the first place; that's a whole Thing in of itself as well, and aiden ends up having to take a few more lives, though the guilt and emotions of, well. Everything, really, don't set in until after its all said and done, considering this entire thing takes place only maybe a few days after the vodrem event, if i recall correctly, so aiden's still more than a little out of it, and the dissonance of everything that happened there only made him even More out of it.

aaaaand i Think that's It? i don't believe i've had him be involved in any major plot stuff since then (aside from the temporary vampire event that was for halloween), so he's finally gotten to have the break that he oh so DESPERATELY needs and deserves... for now! i would like to involve him with more things again in the future (i never did get to write out a storyline where he briefly looses himself to the fatalis instincts---even just using the elemental abilities tend to have that effect on him, so using too MUCH would be Bad---and has to be brought back down from them...), so who knows! maybe he'll end up Going Through It a little bit more, as a Treat<3 the amount of suffering i put my faves through is proportional to how much i like them☺

now then! for my thoughts on aiden as a character; i love him. he's a sweet, caring and well-intentioned person, and i see a lot of myself in him (namely with the Incredibly Obvious adhd). it makes me happy to see a character like him (again, adhd) not treated like the butt of a joke, and instead be shown to actually be incredibly competent and important to the commission. i really hope we see him again in another game in the future, even if it's just as a cameo (he and the field team leader WERE planning to take that vacation to the old world so aiden could introduce ftl to julius........) and nothing else. of all the wonderful characters mh has to offer, i think aiden is by far my favourite i am so incredibly normal about him (this is by far the longest ramble post i have ever made LMAO) and he is just. absolutely Wonderful. my darling beloved my son my everything etc etc. i hope that if he does come back in a future game, if he's Not Just a cameo, we get to do another hunt properly with him; fatalis was obviously the testing grounds for the npc followers in sunbreak, so i'd love to get to do a proper hunt with him now that that's A Thing, if they choose to keep it going forward (and i don't see why they wouldn't, given the positive reception it got). i think that the duality of him being so bubbly, positive and outgoing even despite everything he's been through is interesting, and i find the concept of exploring that trauma to be fascinating because, let's be real, poor guy has definitely been through some shit. NORMALLY if my faves don't have a backstory i come up with one for them but i didn't even Have To give him a traumatic backstory capcom did that for me LMFAO

anyways. thank u for the ask nonnie i am SO incredibly sorry for the length of this post the tism took the wheel, i know i went on a few tangents that weren't that related but ahdkdhfjd i just have A Lot of lore for my au and aiden's been involved in a fair bit of it

[charmsonlinechatter]

I hate that I can't stop overthinking. It's like my mind is constantly on overdrive, analyzing every little detail and driving me crazy. I hate that I'm always worrying if I'm doing things right or if I'll be rejected. I can't stand my body and my face, I can't stand myself, I hate it. Every time I look in the mirror, all I see are flaws. I wish I had been born into a better family, one that would have supported and encouraged me. Life just feels so unfair, and I wish things were different. I know this text should be encouraging, but the truth is, I feel hopeless. I'm fighting against so many things, and it's exhausting. I just want to be normal, to not have to try so hard just to feel okay. to not give importance to the numbers placed on the scale and how I look in photos. I wish my family background wasn't embarrassing, and I yearn for a clearer sense of self. I struggle to put my thoughts into clear and coherent sentences. Sometimes I cant even speak. It's frustrating, being the sickly and expensive child weighs heavily on me, being constantly reminded how expensive you are and how sick you are. I wish people didnt know i was ill - I wish I could be the person I try to present to others, not someone who's so deeply fucked and messed up and kawawa and all the bullshit. I wish I could detach myself from all the things that define me because they haven't helped me become who I truly am. I don't want to be filled with hate or ungratefulness for the life I have, but sometimes it's hard to escape these feelings. I just wish I could be someone else, anyone but me. I fucking hate my life and I wish I could just flip a switch and off myself because this AINT it. I AM TIRED. I am having the strong urge rn to just jump off the building but man I CANT EVEN WALK UP THE STAIRS I fucking hate myself oh my go d

[luveline]

first of all I’m somewhat new here but I absolutely adore you and your writing I come back and check for new stuff everyday<3

alsooo there was a quote that goes something like ‘taking care of me is rotten work’ ‘not to me. not if it’s you’ can you do something like that with Peter or Remus with a reader who struggles with depression or anxiety or Remus/Peter is struggling idk you’ll make it beautiful either way

Hi! thnak so much im so happy to have you 🥺 Gotta love our beautiful boy Peter and taking care of him has been on my mind lately so this request was the loveliest excuse <3 

Awful things have happened to Peter. They weigh on him heavily most of the time. He can't always carry it. 

You're more than happy to carry it with him. Only, Peter Parker is a hard boy to convince. He hides everything like that from you the best that he can. His mood swings are dealt with well; sometimes you can see it on his face, that switch from happy to upset, to irritated, to tired. He's very clear that it's not your fault. That's his driving point. 

You've just asked him if he's eaten today and it rubs him the wrong way. You catch the edge of his frown as he turns from you quickly. There's a small silence where he composes himself, before he says, "Baby, I'm gonna go to bed. I love you, I'm just really tired." 

You frown. "Okay. I can bring you some dinner, if you want? You can eat it in bed. By yourself," you add on softly. 

His shoulders tense, rise. "Okay." 

He moves quietly through the house and you hear the bed springs shift as he gets in. You make dinner for the both of you quickly and leave yours on the table,  carrying his tray through the hallway and into your bedroom. 

"I got dinner for you." You put his tray down on the bed quickly, eyes searching his tense body for any signs of distress, anything you can do. "Peter, if you need me I'm gonna be in the kitchen, okay? I'm gonna do laundry, and-" his shoulders, again, tense, and you stop talking abruptly. 

"Okay," you whisper, turning to the door. 

He calls your name before you leave. You look down at your hand, flex your fingers around the door handle and look over your shoulder. He's sitting up now, looking at his own hands uncomfortably. 

"What?" you ask. 

"Come sit with me?" he asks. Then, quieter, "Please." 

You sit down next to his dinner tray, tucking your legs underneath you. You push the tray towards him. "Eat something, baby. You'll feel better." You don't know if that's true, but it feels right to say. You always feel better when he cooks for you even though this is different. 

He does what you ask, takes the fork in his hand and chews, every mouthful looking like its hard work. You realise that he's only eating because you asked him to and you hold out your hand, palm down.

"You don't have to eat it if you're not feeling well. I'll wrap it up. No worries." 

He puts down his fork, and swallows, and you're horrified and heartbroken and so, so sad when a tear rolls over his cheek. 

It's silver in the light. Peter sniffs almost silently. You move slowly in case he doesn't want your touch and wipe his cheek with the pad of your finger. He turns his face, letting you press your palm over his hot cheek. After a moment he covers your hand with his, pushes it tightly to him. You can feel the hard ridge of his cheekbone. 

"Bub, it's alright," you murmur. You pull the tray out of his lap and shift so you can put your free hand on his other damp cheek. 

He hangs his head.

"It's not alright. I can be so awful to you," he says. He sounds morose. 

"You're never awful." 

"I am. You're offering to make me dinner and all I can think is that I want to be left alone. I hurt you, all the time." His breath hitches. "I'm sorry." 

"For what?" you ask, words drawn out carefully, lightly, trying to calm him down as your own heart rate climbs. 

"For everything." 

You work your fingers into his hair, heel of your palms pressed to his skin. "Can I ask you something?" He nods, sniffling. You wipe at hot tears with your thumbs and lean your head down so he can see you're close. "Do you think it's hard for me, to take care of you?" 

He sighs. You ask again, angry but not at him. "Do you?"

"It must be fucking awful," he says finally, choking on his own tears. You bite your lip to stop from crying in sympathy, because he's yours, and he's hurting so much. 

"It's easy. It's more than easy. Because it's you." 

He calms down a little. He's still crying, but the heart hurting sounds quieten. 

"To know you is to love you, understand? To know you, know your heart. Know your unhappiness. Taking care of you is really fucking easy, I swear. I swear." 

"How can it be easy?" 

"'Cos I love you. I know you." You move your hands from his face to his neck, trying to be as gentle as you can be. "Because you try really hard to do right by me, even on your worst days." 

"You shouldn't have to look after me," he says. "I'm supposed to look after you." 

"How's that fair?" 

His hands, limp in your lap, come to life, traversing the curves of your legs and then your waist. His fingers push into your sides. "I'm sorry that I can't be better and that you have to deal with me." 

"I'm not." Loudly, and then with a little more subtlety. "You're not something I have to deal with, you're my boyfriend." You wanted to say, you're my everything. You're the love of my fucking life, but you're trying not to get too corny. 

"Shitty boyfriend," he says weakly. 

You titter and take his shoulder in your hand, massaging his tight muscle in a way you hope shows your disapproval. He laughs under his breath at your spiteful squeezing and begs forgiveness, "Sorry, I'm sorry. Ease up, pop-eye." 

"You're the best boyfriend ever." 

He nods. You're not pleased with the extreme lack of eye contact right now, so you dip down and catch him before he can look away, his light brown eyes darkened by upset and shiny with tears, lashes all sticking together in dark triangles. You give him an earnest smile. 

"The best ever." 

He smiles begrudgingly, less begrudging as you work a small kiss into the corner of his mouth, dry cheek rubbing against his wet one. You pull away, take his closed eyes as an opportunity to wipe his cheeks clean diligently with your sleeve, best pleased when they stay dry. He opens his eyes, looking at you with guilt and shame but love, too. You know he's gonna be alright. 

You disentangle your limbs, breaking the little sphere of closeness you'd made. You hadn't meant to overwhelm him. 

"I'll leave you alone now I've set the record straight," you say, feeling a little bit embarrassed by how intense you'd gotten. 

He gets a panicked look on his face. "Can I come eat dinner with you?" he asks. 

Like you'd ever say no. 

[oneshotnewbie]

Reader is an surgeon like Callie Torres and also her best friend. After an incident, she broke her leg and is on crutches, now need to go to therapy so she can walk again but Reader doesn't see an effect of the therapy and stops gounf there. Callie is worried overall because she noticed Reader getting quieter and almost depressed

For six weeks now you´ve been struggling with a multi-complicated fracture in your leg that you sustained in a serious car accident. It was only thanks to your best friend that you were able to keep your leg and your life since the artery had been injured by the femur and you almost bled to death at the scene of the incident.

Even if nothing else happened to you and you got off lightly, you bore even more scars in your heart than you looked on the outside and it weighed heavily on you. It wasn´t easy coming to terms with an accident that almost took your life and what was worse was the trauma that remained and the pain you felt with every panic attack that spread through your body when you went on the streets.

You knew that you had a support system through your friends that you could always turn to, however, it wasn´t easy for you and you started to turn away to deal with your pain on your own. But it ate you up inside more and more every day.

During the recovery, Callie had supported you and selected one of the best physiotherapists for you to help you learn to walk again and regain full mobility of your leg, but had indicated that it would be a long process; involved with dedication.

But that it would cost you the maximum amount of nerves and patience, she hadn´t told you.

Annoyed and almost pissed off by the situation and the little to no success of the therapy, you stopped in the middle of the last one and walked away. You were fed up with wasting your time on something that was useless anyway.

You lost the courage and hope to ever walk properly and you knew that you would be dependable on crutches forever. You would never be able to walk on your own again.

"You quit?!" the black-haired woman said between gritted and clenched teeth as she stormed into the lounge and slammed the door behind her. She remained standing by the door with both feet planted firmly on the floor as a sign that you had no chance of wriggling out of this conversation as she rolled up the sleeves of her doctor´s coat, angrily.

You sighed heavily before looking up from the file on the table at Callie with almost no emotion on your face. Inside, you were more than sad and hurt - strange thoughts swirled around in your head that you never had but you kept them secret, not wanting your best friend to worry. "Because it´s absolutely useless, Calliope. And I am so tired of fighting."

"What do you mean by that?" she asked you tensely, raising an eyebrow while crossing her arms over her chest. You swallowed hard for a moment, wondering if maybe you should have skipped the last sentence. "Nothing."

Callie bit her lip, not really believing you.

She had already noticed that you had changed after the accident. You had calmed down and there was nothing left of the otherwise open-minded and happy nature she had fallen for when she met you for the first time. Still and restless, skaky and thoughtful were the order of the day now and she was worried as hell for you.

"Y/n.." she tried to start, gently stroking her eyebrows a she slowly approached you. The black haired body fell onto the chair across from you and she looked at you intently. Her mouth had meanwhile formed into a straight line, thoughtful and not knowing how to begin. "It´s not nothing. Talk to me, I can´t see you like that anymore."

"I am fine."

Your gaze sank down and you closed your eyes, the thoughts that you had been able to suppress throughout the day now floating to the fore; trying to choke back your tears without success. As if a load was lifted from your shoulders, your body began to tremble.

With both hands your cupped the sides of your aching head and pulled it down to your knees before everything you had been trying to shut down and deal with on your own for weeks exploded out of you.

The sudden spasmodic crying from your direction alerted the ortho goddess and she jumped up from her seat and threw herself on her knees in front of you. She gently placed her hands on yours, which were still on your head, and pulled you closer to her chest. "Hey, hey, hey. Sweetheart."

Trying to soothe you with soft words of encouragement, you held this position for a while before your crying and whimpering stopped and you slowly pulled away from her. As your hands wiped the remaining tears from your face, her hand rested on one of your cheeks and her thumb stroked it gently. "Talk to me about what´s on your mind."

Like a switch that flipped in your head, your sadness turned to anger; not on your best friend but on yourself. Because you allowed feelings, you showed her how weak and vulnerable you were.

Clutching your crutches in each hand, you braced yourself on them and headed slowly for the door, leaving Callie alone, confused. But it was for the best for both of you, didn´t you feel like taking your feelings out on her.

"Babygirl.." she tried again but you cut her through the words. "I´ve learned not to talk about my feelings or problems. I keep them to myself because nobody can fix them! What are you going to do? Tell me it gets better? That you understand? I am tired and in pain. You can´t help me."

And with that, you slammed the door behind you and disappeared from the Grey Sloan Memorial.

[bittykimmy13]

I think I would die of Jon said this

❝  i don’t feel like a whole person without you anymore.  i don’t fucking care if anyone else would say about that.  you’re part of who i am now.  the most important piece of me.  ❞

Refrain from dying 😭 (Though this, in fact, made me die)

This takes place like an hour after the end of Twisted Things :)))

(( Send me a yearning prompt!! ))

Nearly an hour passed in silence—Jon only knew that by checking his phone. It felt like mere minutes as the weight of everything that happened settled in. Finding the michearts. Realizing that Cressen was behind it all.

Watching Sylvia panic over the fatality of her ice magic.

He could only imagine how much heavier it weighed on Sylvia’s tiny shoulders.

She was capable. He knew that. But the way she was curled up in his hand as they sat under the tree and processed it all, she looked so vulnerable. So fragile. And she hadn’t moved in a while.

“Sylv?” he whispered, rubbing a fingertip between her wings. “I’m here. Whatever you’re thinking about… you don’t have to face it alone. What’s on your mind?”

As she slowly turned her face up toward him, he saw with dismay that fresh tear tracks mingled with the dry ones. She swallowed hard.

“I… I was thinking about…” She trailed off and shook her head. “No, I—I don’t want you to—”

Jon lifted her higher to bring her closer to eye level. His heart twisted at the sight of her. “Don’t worry about me,” he insisted. “Whatever’s bothering you, please. Please just tell me, Sylv.”

Her little fingers dug into his palm as she gathered herself. “I was… thinking about what you said earlier. When you were worried about how I feel when everyone looks at us like freaks.”

His shoulders sagged. He wished he had kept it to himself. He should have known that his own fretting would weigh so heavily on her. “Yeah?” he prompted anyway.

“You worried that I’d get sick of having to defend us,” she said. Her mouth trembled as she sought the right words. “Well… what about you?”

He had to scoff, a confused little smile tugging his lips. “What about me?”

“I mean… At least other fairies can see us together, even if they don’t like it.” Her words came faster, more frantic, as if she might never bring herself to say it if she stopped now. “How can you not get frustrated having to hide me all the time from your people? The… the only ones who see us together are fairies—and they almost always want to attack you! You said yourself—you’re tired of always being seen as my kidnapper.”

“Sylv.” He said her name softly, slowly, with all the reverence it deserved.

He leaned in and kissed her, and she leaned into his affection desperately. The taste of her tears lingered on his lips when he pulled away. He took in her expression—the worried look of someone who feared they were about to lose everything. He wished he could make her understand that she had nothing to fear at all.

“I don’t think you get it,” he whispered. “I’ll never choose the easy route if it means losing you.”

Her only response was a hitched sob. He brought his other hand close, cupping her chin between his finger and thumb. He tilted her face up so she’d see him.

“Listen to me, Sylv,” he said, his voice cracking. “I don’t feel like a whole person without you anymore. I don’t fucking care what anyone else would say about that. You’re part of who I am now. The most important piece of me.”

She shuddered, a teary smile forming on her face as she rubbed her cheek against his fingertip. “Jon… Are you sure?” She sounded like she wanted to believe it, but she couldn’t quite get there.

“If you don’t believe me,” he said, “I’ll prove it to you. I’ll keep proving it to you again and again—I don’t care how long it takes. I mean it, Sylv.”

Sniffling, she looped her arms around his thumb and hugged tightly. “I believe you,” she murmured. “I believe you.”

[volleychumps]

hiii cld i req for a scenario where tsukki, kageyama, iwa and semi send u home at night after a date or school?? thankyou!

Sending You Home. w/ Tsukishima, Kageyama, Iwaizumi, and Semi 

---------------------------------

Tsukishima

“You’re late.” 

“No one told you to wait!” 

Your reply was light-hearted and slipped off grinning lips, the tall blonde before you simply rolling his eyes while tilting his head ever so slightly in the direction of his home. He pockets his music player, shrugging his shoulders before spinning on his heel.

“You know what? You’re right.” 

“Tsukki!” You whine, falling a few steps behind him while pouting. Tsukishima wasn’t the most doting boyfriend, but he still cared...? You thought so at least, seeing the way he casually slowed his walking pace so you could catch up with him without even looking at you, seeing you were a bit more sleepy than usual as he smirks at the feel of you casually slipping your hand into his. 

The air was filled with it’s normal comfortable silence as you trailed next to him, eyes cast downward at your shoes a bit tiredly as you fail to notice the slight glance your boyfriend had casted you. You yelp at the tug on your shoulder, seeing that Tsukki had easily gotten a grip on your bag strap to pull it from you, shouldering it onto his own shoulder. 

“Don’t faint on my watch, dumbass.”

“And they chivalry is dead.” You sigh romantically, Tsukishima not being able to handle the slight quirk to his lips before clearing his throat to cover it. Your house was close now, and you stifle another yawn before slowing your pace so that Tsukishima can get there first.

The blonde stilled in place when he feels you touch your forehead to his back, leaning on him for support as your arms lazily droop around his mid-section. He turns slightly to narrow his eyes at you, his annoyed glance dropping at the sight of how tired you actually looked. 

He clicks his tongue, turning fully to squish your cheeks with both hands.

“If you don’t get your ass into that house and into bed-” 

“Right, kaa-san.” 

Tsukishima’s brow twitches at your lazy grin, and just as you think he’s just about had it, he sighs before hugging you to him tightly, you yelping a little into his shoulder. 

“Take care of yourself, okay? I don’t need more to worry about.” 

“Oh so you worry about me?” 

“Just get inside.”

“See you tomorrow mom!” You chirp, spinning on your heel before blowing an overdrmatic kiss his way, hand on the door to your entrance before his voice stops you again. 

“And Y/N?” 

At the lack of a slightly degrading nickname, you turn with a confused expression as Tsukishima rubs the back of his neck with a slight hue to his cheeks, already turning in the opposite direction. 

“I’ll always wait for you after school, idiot. No one has to ask me.” 

Kageyama

“Tobio, I said you didn’t have to.” 

“I-It’s fine, I want to!”

“Okay but,” you sweatdrop, looking behind you to see the dark-haired boy at least a good six feet behind you, causing him to stop abruptly. “...why are you so far away?” 

“hAHA you’re right.” 

You shake your head with a small smile at his awkward antics, waiting for him to catch up to you with robotic-like movements. Kageyama was just too cute, dressed in a shirt that had a collar too tight, posture straightened as if he were listening to a higher-up. Your first date was filled with awkward silence and flustered moments, but you couldn’t help but find that a bit endearing as he spilled water onto the restaurant floor and pulled a push door. 

“A-Are you cold?!” 

“Not really- Tobio if you don’t have a jacket keep your shirt on-” 

“I have an undershirt-?”

“I’m fine!” You stop his hands from undoing his shirt buttons, heat searing onto your cheeks as you fight back a few giggles at the socially introverted boy, Kageyama freaking out at the feel of your hands on his before stepping away abruptly in a panicked motion. 

You sigh, stepping forward to close the distance between the two of you again before fiddling with the two top buttons with a click of your tongue. 

“You’re wearing this shirt too tight, see?” 

“You’re right...” Kageyama sighs, groaning into his palm as all the tension in his body seems to drain, the stature of his body wilting as you arch an eyebrow at the sudden change in demeanor. 

“I messed up tonight, didn’t I?” 

“Kageyama-” 

“I spilled all that damn water-” 

“Tobio-” 

“I even forgot that you don’t play volleyball and you still listened to me talk about it forever...” Kageyama rambles dejectedly, and you listen with an easy smile on your face, taking the opportunity to take the last step forward. 

“You could probably do a lot better than-” 

Blue eyes widen at the feel of a pair of lips pressing softly against his cheek, the setter staring owlishly at you for a good three seconds as you bite your lip nervously, heat ensuing on both of your cheeks as you chuckle and continue to fiddle with his collar. 

“I really really enjoyed tonight. So how about you just finish walking me home?” 

“YES.” 

You giggle, beginning to walk again before sweat dropping. 

“Tobio, beside me.” 

“RIGHT.” 

You shake your head in amused disbelief as Kageyama seems to still be internally panicking, not expecting a warm hand to slip into yours when he finally steps to your side. You blink, looking at him as he refuses to meet your eyes, grip on your hand tightening. 

“L-Let’s go?” 

You smile warmly, leaning your head on his stiff shoulder as you walk. 

“Yeah. Let’s.” 

Iwaizumi

“...why are you following me?” 

“Oi. Stop making me sound like a creep.” 

You laugh at Iwa’s irritated stare, lowering your bag from it’s raised position at the suspect in question as he sighs, taking large steps to walk at your side. Your friend bonked your head lightly with his knuckle as you whine, Iwa smirking slightly at your look of betrayal. 

“Who am I, Oikawa?” 

“Nah, you’re like one level above him. Keep it up though and I’ll lower it.” 

“Why do you walk me home anyways if you’re just going to insult me?” 

“It’s night. Knowing you, you’d get kidnapped and ask to stop at McDonalds.” 

“Meanie.” You sniff, the cold air biting at your nose a little before you wipe at it, a shiver coursing through your body that didn’t go unnoticed by your friend as you walked, causing him to slow his pace in growing irritation. 

“...you didn’t bring your jacket? Again?” 

“Bite me, Mr. Weatherman.” 

Iwa rolls his eyes before shuffling in his gym bag as he walks, putting an arm out to stop you in place before going to grab your bag from you. His stare hardens when you shake your head no, sighing before snatching it anyways. 

“Hands up.” 

“I know you said I deserve to be arrested, but this is going a bit too far-” 

“Before you catch a cold, dimwit.” Iwa rolls his eyes as you grin cheekily, a small smirk on his lips at your antics as he tugs his hoodie over your figure, almost as if he were dressing a child. You smile at the warmth, thinking this was more than enough until he takes the scarf from around his neck as well, wrapping it around you as your eyes widen. 

His dark eyes stare into yours for a second before he finishes looping it until you’re all bundled up, and you blink in bewilderment as Iwa looks at you like what?

“I have my own jacket so don’t even worry.” 

“You really care about me, huh?” You grin, causing him to stall.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, scatterbrain.” Iwa rolls his eyes, beginning to walk in the direction of your home before pausing when you don’t follow. He tilts his head as your chest pounds with a foreign feeling, seeing your friend in a light that you never had before. 

“You comin or what?” 

“I’m keeping these!” You chirp, picking up the pace to walk at his side before Iwa pockets his hands- 

a hard thump in his chest at the way your eyes glittered with his actions. 

“Keep them. They look better on you anyways.”

Not that you knew that, of course. 

Semi

“Semi-” 

“Can’t hear you. I’m walking you home.” 

You sigh a little, hand falling at your third attempt of holding his hand, the finality in his voice making you a bit sad. Did he want this date to be over already?

Semi Eita was not a man who picked up on signals easily, and blatantly refused your offer of simply taking the bus by yourself home simply because he was worried. Not that you would realize that on a first date, of course. 

“Did you...not enjoy tonight?” The words slip your lips when he stops in front of your home, your friend stopping in place at your question as you bite your lip, shuffling in place. “I’m sorry if I...” 

“What’re you talking about?” 

You blink when he glances back at you, the rings on his fingers glittering under the moonlight as he sighs, running a hand through his hair as if he were exasperated with himself. 

“No. I did. I really enjoyed tonight.” 

“You did?” You smile weakly, and Semi takes another step towards you a tad guiltily, looking down at you before you swallow tightly when his finger traces the contour of your chin. 

“I’m just...really bad at expressing myself sometimes. I wanted to get you home safe, sorry if I scared you by being all intimidating. It wards off the weirdos.” 

Your relieved laugh has Semi’s lips curling into a slight smile, his hand resting atop your head as his brown eyes sharply bore into yours, and you hold your breath as he seems to lean a bit closer. 

“...You should get inside, now.” 

“...right.” You agree, acting as if the disappointment wasn’t weighing on your chest. You brush past him, smiling softly at him to take the first step up to your porch-

“Dammit, screw this first date bullcrap-” 

And then his ringed fingers were on your waist, spinning you slightly to turn in his direction as his other hand cupped your cheek gently, contrasting with how brash usually was. You melt into the kiss from atop your porch steps, and Semi pulls back breathing heavily before grinning at your dazed features, breath brushing against your lips.

“Okay now you can go inside.” 

-------------------------------------

General Works:

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