#would result in merc having a bad weekend

[coquettesamosa]

sometimes i catch myself doing things on or before match/race day that i should've realised sooner isn't normal fan behaviour

[valyrfia]

If Red Bull continues to falter, it won't even be a fight for P2, it will legitimately be a fight for the WDC between three or more drivers.

Every race for the rest of the season will make or break a driver's WDC chances.

Of the top drivers, who suits the remaining tracks the best? Charles and Ferrari usually do well in Baku and Singapore. Austin I'm not sure about. Maxico could return if Red Bull get their shit together. Brazil is always a toss up. Not much to go on for Vegas but Max and Charles did well there last year and Lando had a terrible crash. Qatar being hot could go McLaren or Ferrari's way, and Abu Dhabi is normally a Max track but we'll see!

This is gearing up to be one of the best seasons in recent times.

I would not count Max, Lando, or even Charles out of this WDC fight. Red Bull have essentially committed to writing off the next two races (which are historically their weakest) in order to bring upgrades to COTA–but some of the midfield are bringing upgrades to Baku which, if they work, might result in the frontrunners eating into the points delta that Max has. Even worse, the RB20 could be fucked in that the upgrades could simply not work. Red Bull are gambling that Ferrari, Merc, and Oscar Piastri won't let Lando close in too much on points.

McLaren typically do well on the next run of tracks, but so do Ferrari and especially so does Charles. Singapore, Mexico, and Qatar are high downforce which McLaren has always had the edge even last year on so I would bet on them to have the best chance of winning those, however that team is on the brink of a civil war and it'll be interesting to see which McLaren driver pulls it off and crucially–Charles Leclerc is an absolute wildcard at this point in the season. We're finally seeing four or so years of Charles being forced to drive unpredictable cars paying off–he has proven time and time again this season in Suzuka, in Monaco, in Zandvoort, in Monza that he doesn't now actually need the best car, it only needs to be good enough in order to be a real strategy and racing headache for everyone around him. McLaren thought their 1-2 was secured in Monza because they didn't think Charles had the pace nor the tyres to win on the one-stop and yet. Charles is completely unpredictable and at the end of the day McLaren may be correct in prioritising their team harmony and a WCC (which some see as a done deal) over Lando's possible WDC because if Charles keeps pulling off performances like that and Carlos keeps up the good consistency he's been showing recently....yeah the WCC could swing. There's only 41 points, Ferrari are very much in contention for that championship still and could win it if McLaren aren't very careful. That's why honestly, as cringe as papaya rules are, McLaren HAS to enforce them because if Oscar and Lando had crashed out in lap 1 yesterday and Ferrari secured the 1-2, Ferrari would suddenly have overtaken them for P2 in the WCC

I think it's likely the gap between Lando and Max could close to less than 20 points before Abu Dhabi, however it could be entirely possible that the gap between Charles and Lando could close to less than that, and indeed all the gaps close up so that the championship is still mathematically possible down to Oscar by the time Abu Dhabi rolls around. And we've still got three sprints to go too, which are complete wildcards with eight crucial points up for grabs in each. Yeah, hand to my heart I would probably still predict that Max takes this WDC but these next eight race weekends are absolutely crucial. One misjudgement, one DNF, one bad strategy call, one safety car, could win or lose the championships. It's going to be exciting, it's going to be tense, I don't think I'll be able to breathe until December.

[intheshadowsbehindyou]

The Mercs reacting to Y/N asking them about their past

Warnings: None

Scout:

- Uhhhhh

- It was… moderate? He got bullied by his brothers a lot but they eventually stopped as they matured. It was moreso the people at school that gave him trouble. Causing him to become aggressive and “misbehaved”

- His mother loves him to bits. She still spoils and frets about him to this day. Occasionally you’ll see candy sent to him in boxes on his nightstand with sickly sweet notes like “I love you my little baby bear : )” it’s borderline embarrassing sometimes. She never scolds him too roughly and always seems to know what advice to give.

- He doesn’t seem too thrilled telling you about his past. He tries to recall positive memories, like during the summer him and his family would frequent the beach. He seems to have had more positive times with his school friends as well. Mostly playing cruel pranks on adults.

———————————————————————

Soldier:

- He hesitates. It wasn’t great. That’s for sure. He was fed pretty strong propaganda as a child which led to him to become radical. This gradually died out over time and he became less and less bigoted. “I KILL EVERYBODY EQUALLY NOW!” He announces proudly, woohoo! character development.

- He vividly recalls beginning to question his sexuality around his teen years and being in a military training program for kids who wanted to serve their country. Which of course led to him having frequent gay sex in his young adulthood. Bruh.

- He always sorta had… really weird trigger-happy tendencies. He taught himself to shoot guns from a young age even know everybody opted against it. He then blew up an entire village, mistaking it for “FILTHY SOUTHERN TRAITORS CONSPIRING A SECRET BASE!”

- Nonsensical war stories that never happened and the only reason they exist is to make himself look good. They make you laugh. He’s full of himself, trying to impress you.

—————————————————————

Demoman:

- Yikes.

- “I.. Really don’t wanna talk about it.”

- He tells you bits and pieces from time to time about how terrible being an orphan was. Let alone having parents who didn’t care about him.

- He hates wizards because of Merasmus now. So there’s that. Straight up will beat the shit out of anybody that even remotely looks like a wizard. He’s more rational when sober but still has a deep passionate hatred for magicians.

- Manages to recall a more lighter story where he blew up his chemistry teacher’s entire farm as revenge for giving him bad grades. That was fun. He tells you this while fiddling with the inside of one of his bombs. Evidentially trying to get it working properly. “Yah, well I’d like to see that lot see me now. He’d bust a bloody vein in his wee little noggin tryin to comprehend how his ‘worst student’ managed to get this successful at demolition!”

- If you ask him more he’ll just shake his head. Stating it wasn’t that important and the past is the past.

———————————————————

Engineer:

- It was actually really good. His mother and father loved him. They were quite wealthy though and it caused him to be bit of a little prick. He always got pampered and spoiled to incredible degrees and was always a bit mischievous. He mellowed out and became his humble modern self over time though.

- He used to snicker over the fence while watching his neighbor’s lawnmower spontaneously catch on fire. That may or may not have been the result of his genius.

- Went to a prestigious school for incredibly smart kids and visited his grandfather on certain weekends. His grandfather was a bit preoccupied with work though so he’d take him to RED/BLU and pass on his building knowledge by showing him how to do stuff.

- Was always a very creative and well liked individual. Girls felt out of league with him in high school and they’d always shyly giggle as he passed by. They were always too timid to ask him out.

- One would often forget that Engineer is a deathly mercenary like the others. He showed blood thirsty tendencies from day one. His family encouraged it of course. Because why wouldn’t they! His father was so proud of him when he killed his first victim.. aaahh those little mercs grow up so damn fast. Engineer would laugh as he told you this. Great.

——————————————————-

Heavy:

- He becomes very grumpy. Crossing his arms and looking away. He can’t bring himself to stay mad at you, though. He knows full well that people only assume the best when asked a question such as this. He doesn’t blame you at all.

- He’s rather straight forward with it, and doesn’t hold back. “Heavy’s entire family was sent to ice prison and had little money. Not a single coin to hold us up. So, naturally work had to be done.” He goes on about how he was the breadwinner of the family and had the burden of carrying his entire family on his back. “Oh! and my father is dead.” He adds.

- JESUS.

- This man seemingly could never catch a break in his childhood. He did nothing but provide, work, and take it upon himself to be an adult at an early age. Not having many friends. Even having struggled in college. Mother of god. An absolute trainwreck.

- He assures you he’s fine, and he takes comfort in knowing he managed to come this far in the first place. Let alone to such an older age. “Stupid little baby will become big and strong like Heavy, and he will show you.” He tells you lovingly. Stroking your hair.

——————————————————————

Pyro:

- Looks confused and slightly concerned of why you’d ask such a thing. As if it didn’t really matter. All that mattered was here and now.

- They’re clearly avoiding this conversation, and brushing it off. Instead they want to show you this horrific forest fire they made! They think it’s so cool. Watching innocent fishing dads burn alive is cool.

- Redirects you and insists you tell them about your childhood first. Is very polite despite not enjoying the question and by the looks of things it’s better off to just leave the question be for a bit. They really don’t want to talk about it. To very high degrees. (pun intended.)

——————————————————————-

Sniper:

- He was a rather lonesome child. Preferring to sit by himself and never really participate in activities. His parents pushed him to socialize but he never really got that great at it. He also sort of tormented the other kids whenever he deemed them too noisy or annoying. Throwing rocks at their heads. He got rather good at this due to doing it so many times.

- He’d play pretend by himself in the backyard behind his house. Occasionally his father would join in, but after school he headed straight to his treehouse whilst his parents were busy and shot at poor birds with a pop gun. Scaring them half to death. He’s play his little hunting game until sunset, to when his mother would call him in for dinner.

- His father found his games quite cute and taught him how to shoot an actual gun eventually for the purpose of hunting. Aaaand he’d live to regret that.

- He was always an outdoorsy kid. Going on camping trips and petting zoos. He had a soft spot for certain animals and got caught hugging and kissing the top of a sheep’s head. Awww. He was affectionate in his young age. (Dont bring this story up to him ever again.)

—————————————————————-

Medic:

- “Ohhohoh! What a silly question! It was awful.”

- Nobody really liked how much of a nerd he was in school. Despite growing up in a village with a rather long lineage of medical “professionals” (I use that term loosely) he went to a school outside his village. He got bullied on a regular basis and people dumped paint in his hair while he was outside reading.

- This of course made a pretty sensitive child out of Medic. He was prone to being a “Cry-baby” and “too sensitive” in his classmates’ own words. He was also a mama’s boy which didn’t seem to help the teasing.

- Medic took rightly by his mother. She was batshit insane. The most stereotypical mad scientist you’d ever lay your eyes on. She’d read him bedtime stories which were very complex university textbooks for some reason.

- He took a liking to all his mother taught him. Books of the cosmos, math, and other stuff. Especially the medical science that was strung about the village. He developed an incredibly strong morbid curiosity for anything that seemed off or strange. Wishing to understand the world around him as much as possible.

- He took a magnifying glass into the garden and studied bees when he was five. Theorizing their stingers could create a miracle cure (It couldn’t. His allergic cousin fucking died and Ludwig thought that was hilarious.)

——————————————————————

Spy:

- “Hey Spy, can you tell me a bit about your childhood?”

- Immediately cloaks away.

- Goes missing for like several days.

[charles-leclerc-official]

Australia 2024 qualifying analysis

I'm not going to waste time with an intro, let's get into what happened. Won't be covering everyone but will be going over the big things of note.

Max P1 Carlos P2 and Lando P3 are the top three in qualifying.

Charles: So what happened to Charles?

Charles is good at qualifying and he's been flying around this track, so for him not to be in the top 3 that is a sign something went wrong.

And yes conditions with the car and I suspect the track were not ideal for him during quali.

Rear wing - Ferrari went with a single bar rear wing for FP3 and quali, this changed the balance and thus some other set up elements needed to be changed to compensate. I suspect they did this change because they are trying to create less drag for the race. Possibly in anticipation of not getting a lot of DRS

Front wing shift: Change the balance if the rear you have to change the front. Charles apparently requested a very aggressive front(makes sense) but it seems that was an over correction and that led to the car being less predictable. A less aggressive approach would probably have been more suited to the quali conditions.

Track conditions: wind and temperature differences in addition to the tyre wear and the change in tyre pressure all are contributing factors for why he might have lost grip on certain corners. With low drag and low traction that easily could create the conditions Charles described as being both oversteer and understeer. Like once a slide happens the car can easily do this.

Driver error: also have to acknowledge that Charles isn't perfect and he didn't have time to do the best he was capable of yesterday. It happens.

All this being said, the Ferrari and Charles had the best race pace during free practice, and that rear wing change might pay off for the race.

Charles qualified P5 but will be starting P4 due to Sergio's grid penalty

Carlos: He put in some good laps. Lost a good chunk of time on turn 10 to Max. But I will say I am impressed with his performance given he is still recovering from surgery.

Sergio: Sergio qualified P3 but took a 3 place grid penalty for impeding Hulkenberg's flying lap during quali. It seems this was more a failure of his team to inform him that a car was coming up behind. He will be starting P6.

Lewis and Yuki: The big upset of quali was Yuki knocking Lewis out of Q3. Very exciting for Yuki, and damning for Mercedes. Because that is Lewis Hamilton in that car, the Mercedes has not had the setup this weekend, and they have been struggling for any real straight line pace all season.

Yuki really is proving he is the top driver at VCARB and that was an impressive lap from him.

I also don't think Mercedes thought they needed to worry and possibly didn't push too hard. That yes they were low but the chances of a mid field car knocking them out was not high. Well Yuki proved them wrong. Some of this comes from underestimating Yuki(never underestimate Yuki).

Esteban: Esteban really surprised us all getting that Alpine into Q2. Given how many problems with pace and weight the Alpine has had that is just some solid driving from him.

Alex: Alex did put in a good performance for qualifying being the only Williams on the field. He got the car pretty close to the points and was competitive with the rest of the midfield. Hopefully this translates to good results for the race. So far it looks like he is delivering for Williams this weekend.

Mercedes: Mercedes was shockingly bad. There is something fundamentally wrong not just with the setup but the entire design philosophy. They have two talented drivers who are simply not able to compete because the car does not have the straight line speed. It struggled a lot during free practice, so it isn't surprising that both Mercs are so low, but it is not a promising look for the car as a whole.

Zhou: Zhou had probably the hardest quali. He damaged his front wing on the curb of turn 10 and that really cost him any hope of having a good time. Stake also did not have a spare front wing for him, so he will have to start from the pitlane and run with a damaged front wing. Not only was his quali compromised his race will be as well.

[l8tof1]

Do you think this weekend will influence Lewis's contract negotiations? As far as I know he still hasn't signed, like idk what other team he would go to but still (I could be delusional and say Williams, I think Albon and Hamilton would be an amazing duo)

not you bringing williams into this 😭 but omg imagine?? i actually would kinda love to see it

but no, he’s not leaving merc and he wouldn’t decide it based on a single weekend. he’s all about not making decisions in the heat of the moment. and he knows that the car is still fundamentally not right this season so i’m not sure he cares about the actual results as much as what he sees the team doing in the background for next year? idk just my guess/opinion :)

austria and sprints are just bad vibes all around. silverstone will suit the car much better and we’ll have upgrades and roscoe will be there and we’ll have a great weekend!

[russilton]

Hi Mark, what a weekend. Good progress on Saturday and, at least for George a positive result on Sunday. Gaining 4 positions and not getting a single tracklimit, he really is Lewis' little protégé. Fred also with a great result, I'm sure Lewis' good results are also coming in. I wonder if Mercedes didn't ask to review the impeding on Saturday and the track limit debacle because they knew it would get them a penalty. If so that is pretty smart of them for once

What a weekend is certainly the phrase for it.

This is one of our shittier weekends, even with recovery drives and all the work in the world it seems like nothing could really come together, or if it did, it got snatched under us at the last second (Fred Jack podium… why must you leave me). It is- I’m going to call it a little depressing that my main high point was “well, at least they both finished?”

I do have to laugh at George and Lewis managing to contrast each others flaws and problems- George not being able to hit Q3 but Lewis not keeping it in track limits, both of them having sprint issues outside their control- they’re a right pair they really are. And their car is hampering them both- and making them act out. George is uncomfortable, Lewis couldn’t hold his focus or anger- it’s a bad time all round and I’m glad at least we have upgrades this week.

The track limit think I can accept- but the impeding should have been reviewed and I’ve actually put a question into the akkodis debrief about it to try to hear their reasoning. Lewis being in the wrong place and slightly hampering Max is an entirely separate situation to Max deliberately going out of his way to hamper Lewis. The FIA take both intent and impact into their rulings, what Lewis did to Max by unintentionally being in the wrong place while starting his lap had no impact on Max’s over all result- he would have cleared SQ1 even if he didn’t go out again - but Max deliberately put them both in a dangerous position AND knocked Lewis out in SQ1.

I’m just frustrated at the lack of willingness to have a paper trail on how Max acts retaliatingly toward other drivers especially mercs ESPECIALLY Lewis. I know we have a historically bad time with the fia but it feels frustrating Merc seem to just do nothing at all so often. The high road elitist approach works when you’re winning but when you aren’t you just look foolish- I mean look at Ferrari for an example.

But that’s austria, and I’m happy to tie it in a bow and leave it the hell behind. Onward to my favourite race of the year, Home

[petit-papillion]

I do think p2 was possible and then maybe a double Ferrari podium. But that would have mean a swap. Because Charles was better in the race. But Ferrari were never going to do that, especially not when Carlos got pole in Monza. For a better result Charles should have qualified higher then they could have tried.

I hope Charles gets to the next race stronger. I feel like this week end seeing how the tifosi are all behind HIM and not just Ferrari it will give him a boost. I know he knows but seeing it again… and not like last year when they arrived with a better car. The support they have for him during the bad days is phenomenal.

Well, it's all speculation at this point, of course. I did have the feeling they were trying to get Charles ahead of Carlos with the pit stop. It was really tight when Charles got back on track, and it would have been the ideal moment to swap them. This post seems to think Charles had better race pace:

It's hard to say whether Charles would've done better holding off PER, because he was definitely doing better at the end with his tyres than Carlos who'd been battling with Checo.

To be honest when Charles was ahead of Carlos, it went through my mind that it would not go over well if he "stole" podium away from Carlos at the last minute, considering Carlos had been ahead all weekend (on top of it being his birthday).

As for Charles qualifying higher - yes, part of that is on him, part of it is the fact that he was in front, without a tow. Had their positions in quali been swapped, I am convinced Charles would've been on pole, and Carlos P3. But that's not how it played out.

Next race is Singapore - a track Charles loves. Success will depend on whether the SF-75 will be up to her old unpredictable tricks again (most likely since they brought a special package specifically for Monza), whether the team can keep up their excellent work from Monza (solid pit stops, no strategy/communication errors, no penalties, etc.), and what's happening with Aston Martin (who are bringing updates), McLaren, and Merc (since all 3 are Merc-powered, an engine well-suited for Singapore), amongst others.

[champagnepodiums]

I think this has been sort of touched on throughout the season, but I really do wonder what numbers Lewis would have pulled if he had a better season. I know there have been a few curveballs in terms of follower gains : results during the weekend, but I do think he would have gained even more if he was consistently in the top 3/fighting for wins. It’ll be interesting to see what happens next year if the Merc is better. I know it would have been different cuz the sport was still growing in viewership and it wouldn’t be a fair comparison for other reasons too, but I wish we had the full season numbers for 2020 and 2021 to kinda compare (since in 2020 he was so dominant too and 2021 was obviously a full on battle). Also in ‘20 Verstappen was occasionally up there fighting for wins, but he also had some real bad luck so it would be interesting to see his numbers back then too.

So I don't have any of my own data for 2021 but I have socialblade's data so I can estimate that during the 2021 season, Lewis gained somewhere around ~4.9M followers in 2021. I don't have access to all of the 2020 numbers but from April 2020 through the end of the season, Lewis gained somewhere around 6M followers.

So that does make his 3.5M followers gained in 2022 seem small (which is wild because 3.5M is like a HUGE number). So I would have to assume that if he had won this season and had been a champion contender, I think it would be higher but I don't think we'll know for sure until he does start winning again. It could be that he has started to reach a ceiling that will slow his gains down.

This does make me think I should go through and do my best to estimate what every F1 driver gained in 2021 so thank you for this question, anon! (Sorry it took me so long to get to it)

[racingliners]

F1 2022 Re-watch: Round 3 - Australia 

So yeah re some previous rambly posts, I subbed to F1 TV because I was kind of tuned out for the bulk of the 2022 season and bc it ended up being Seb’s last season in F1, I wanted to re-watch all of them in full. bc Seb caught covid (😭) I’m starting from Australia!

Since I’m mainly doing this for the laughs I have no idea what I’m doing avwvguhrgug I’ll probably put a lap number before any sarcastic comment for context.

Anyway, onwards! (under a read more bc this will get chatty)

Starting with the F1 intro. noice. (quietly bops)

As I am a religious Channel 4 viewer I just got major whiplash from Will Buxton doing commentary esblhrlbi.

I actually really like Albert Park, it’s not a bad track, dare I say it quite underrated.

Seb in 17th, the AMR22 really was a tractor 😭

Jolyon Palmer?!?!? I forgot he worked for F1 these days.

I’m also really not used to Aus not being the tradional season opener. Does not pass the vibe check.

[Start/Lap 1]: A clean turn 1???? sounds very fake.

A clean first sector???? sounds very fake

My god I can’t believe the grid all had their braincells on the first lap. Astounding.

[Lap 2]: nvm Sainz spun into the gravel. (I very vaguely remember this from C4 Highlights)

Unrelated, Zhou’s helmet design is really pretty.

[Lap 3]: Aston Martin Safety Car!! My beloved!! (The soft spot I now have for them after Seb’s two seasons with AM asdfghjkl)

[Lap 5]: Oh, pitting Lance to run the mandatory compound for 1 lap, then pitting again for hards. That’s clever. (Bernie Collins and Seb shared AM’s braincell lets be real).

I’ve also very suddenly realised that while I’m re-watching all of Seb’s races from 2022 bc it was his last season, there is no guarantee I will see much of Seb. I did not think this through.

I have once again slipped back into the routine of constantly checking for Seb’s name on the leaderboard. (pls don’t ask me how I’m going to cope this year bc I probably won’t)

I’m also humming the jaws theme everytime one car gets close to another.

Still not used to Will Buxton commentary eagheguh Palmer & Sam Collins are great though!!

[Lap 11]: Not Seb going through the gravel and dropping to plum last 😭

[Lap 12]: The McLarens following the Mercs. Merc on Merc powertrain violence

[Lap 13]: “Lots of unforced driver error” It’s because we had such a clean first lap that the racing gods demanded clownery as payment.

Unrelated but I said this to a mate the other day, but I miss glossy car liveries!! The matte ones are fine but shiny liveries just hit different. (Merc please go chrome for 2023 it would be v sexy)

[Lap 16]: Anyway Seb in P16 woo

Kevin mowing the lawn at turns 9 and 10

[Lap 18] Ah Leclerc leading Verstappen by almost 9 seconds. Remember when we had hope for the title fight? (Man watching the season long Ferrari clown show back is going to be fun, and by fun I mean devastating).

Speaking of car liveries, please have less black on the car this year McLaren. It just makes the car look unfinished. The accents of blue are so pretty though.

(I love how this is the most important thing on my mind rn eaugheuigh)

[Lap 22]: Seb thinking about an overtake!!! And the camera cut away!! why???

[Lap 24]: Seb DNF noooooo 😭😭😭😭

(I really should have looked up race results before starting this huh)

Well, zero joy sparked. But I have paid for F1 TV so we carry on through gritted teeth.

The AMR22 was a tractor, but damn it she was a beautiful tractor.

[Lap 25] “Keep getting unlucky with safety cars” Me 🤝 Lewis: Permanently traumatised by the 2021 Abu Dhabi Grand Prix

“The only time we will see an Aston Martin leading the race this weekend” Will Buxton I will fight you

[Lap 26]: THE FUCK Yuki, Mick do not frighten me like that.

I still keep checking for Seb on the leaderboard even though he’s out. Pain.

Back on livery watch: The blue and pink Alpine my beloved.

[Lap 30] oh we have passed half-distance. yay.

Lewis getting past Nando: ‘Cause I seee sparks flyyyyy’

[Lap 33] Bold of anyone to call Magnussen “Alonso’s rear gunner”

[Lap 35] Cuts to Leclerc in case we forgot about him

[Lap 36] “Is that Ferrari very slow or...?” “No that’s just how it looks” And yet Apollo gave them the gift of prophecy re the second half of the season 😭

Another livery watch update: Alpha Romeo v pretty.

[Lap 39]: Oop Verstappen DNF

Back to livery watch: Red Bull I’m begging you to go back to having a dark metallic blue instead of the matte navy. Keep the bright red tho.

The “Leclerc you’re my red flag”  sign. Bestie that does not mean what you think it means.

[Lap 41]: The midfield once again saving the entertainment value of the race. I fully support Fernando’s rights to go a little bit feral.

Albert Park when the sun starts to go down >>>>>

(Yes a circuit’s aesthetic/surroundings completely plays into whether or not I like it. shh)

[Lap 45]: ...did AM tell Lance that he got a penalty or?????

[Lap 46]: How did I not notice Albon in P7??? pet power! (he still had to stop but whatevs)

[Lap 48] Albon on 46 lap old tyres 😳

I have now learned I’m watching the F1 TV feed and not the global feed (which I’m assuming is Sky F1???) so I’ll need to actually pay attention to what I’m clicking on for the next race 😅

[Lap 49]: It’s taken almost the whole race for Nando to start bitching on the radio iaefbhsebh. At least it feels like a race now (said with the upmost affection for my favourite menace to society)

[Lap 51]: There you go Nando, Pierre got past Lance

also is Alex going to pit at some point???

“I think don’t hit the one [car] painted the same as yours” F1 TV make Sam the lead commentator pls.

“The McLaren is a quick car” words I thought I would never hear

[Lap 54]: Charles 🤝 RBR Seb: Can I go for the fastest lap 👀

I also think it’s bs that you have to finish in the top 10 to get a point for the fastest lap. If you get the fastest lap, you should get the point. Don’t disrespect the non-points finishers like that @FIA 

[Lap 56]: Three laps left and Albon still hasn’t pitted

Williams did you forget about your driver????

Shit I’m emotionally invested in Albon now

Oh man if his tyre fails I will not take it well

[Lap 57]: Don’t cut to Leclerc!!! I need to know if Albon has pitted yet!!!

There he is!!!

[Lap 58] “Are you still awake” Perez @ Williams pit wall

Oh thank fudge Albon pitted

[Lap 58/end] Charles & Ferrari taking a dominant win. doesn’t feel real tbh.

Albon got P10!!!! hell yeah!!!

Charles really did learn from Seb by going for fastest lap despite being told not to vvuuehrfgusrhguh

Rocky name drop!!! Yes I’m still fond of him shhh 

Okay so that race was a bit of a slow burn, ty to the midfield for bringing the bulk of the entertainment. Overall 6 and a half front wings out of 10.

[delicate44]

I knew better than to celebrate Lewis' p3 from last week. I didn't want to say anything before this weekend because I didn't want to bring bad energy to all the people enjoying his p3. I said this before, but I think Merc is really just prioritizing George. I don't think they're outright sabotaging Lewis' car, but they're definitely making decisions to tip the scales in George's favor. Despite this, I believe that Lewis can still get better results than George if he puts on a flawless, consistent performance with the car.

And when I saw flawless, I mean ZERO errors from Lewis in qualifying and in the race. Every race where they're on the same tyres, strategy and same upgrades, Lewis should have better results.

Historically this track doesn't suit the merc car. And tyre temps seem to be a problem cos Bradley also mentioned it? But idkkk. I think after the summer break things might look even different 😑 he definitely needs to get his quali right cos his race pace is greaaat. I would agree they will give priority to the guy who's staying but let's see!

[vro0m]

but don’t you also think that seeing anything below a podium as a low is a mindset you need to have in f1? especially now that podiums are very much possible for merc it makes sense to me that lewis would have this mindset.

It's a fine line. It's useful if it pushes you to do more, and it's detrimental if it just brings you down. Lately I feel like it's been bringing him down.

It's also not like Merc is consistently finishing on the podium, it's not a sure thing. So when it doesn't happen it isn't necessarily that he drove poorly or the car was bad. Sometimes it's just that the track suited the Ferrari better, for example. In these cases it's no use dwelling on it. You need to be realistic about your chances as well. Lando being disappointed he didn't won this weekend makes sense, because he could have. If idk Alex had been disappointed he wasn't on the podium that would have been bad vibes for nothing, you know what I mean?

It used to be that he could say "we didn't get the result but I know I drove to the max and that's good enough for today". I don't hear him say that much anymore. Even when he says there was nothing else that they could've done, it bothers him. I empathise with the frustration, it's just not useful to him at this point.

[singaporesainz]

mercedes has been making me unusually mad lately. first, there lewis’s comments about the qatar gp (a while ago, I know) saying that “the conditions weren’t that bad, malaysia was worse, I handled worse back in the day, etc etc” basically calling the other drivers pussies for the way they felt driving even though he was out in fucking turn one 🤠

and now toto. fuck toto honestly, if that had been one of his cars, he’d have gone off at whoever vetoed the decision to not give his driver a penalty, and the fact that he’s going off at journalists for stating the facts of what’s  happening in vegas instead of sugarcoating and romanticising it is so so so entitled

i know that this is all done to preserve their p2 wcc position and all but yeah toto is pissing me off this weekend. i normally side with him on most fronts-- and i normally support merc after ferrari. but idk what it is about the las vegas air that is making him so unlikeable and unbearable. lord knows that if lewis's car was damaged as badly, if he was put in jeoperady because of the TRACK and not a racing incident, he would've been pissed. and if ferrari or any other team would've barred them from an exemption to the penalty like they did to carlos, he would be the loudest one in the fucking room. so ya. this whole situation is so fucking annoying to me and i wish them a safe race with a shit result

[rehcciardo]

Unpredictable Hungary never fails

It’s Saturday. It’s raceweekend. It’s Qualitime. A real wet one today.

I’m writing this review whilst watching the Qualifying this time. Let’s see how it works out :D

But one of the highlights of today happened during the FP3 session. Nicholas Latifi was the fastest guy on track. What the actual fuck? Charles didn’t belive it too. At least he asked his mechanic about Latifis time and if he was also on inters. And Alex got P3. Honestly it looked so wrong on the result screen xD 

But let’s see what they are dooing in the Qualifying now. Could be interesting with the mixed conditions in Hungary this afternoon. The track is dry enough to use slicks but there are some really dark clouds in the sky. So you never know if there might will be rain.

Q1:

I’m  glad that Aston Martin could fix Sebs car after his crash earlier today. Would be a shame if Seb had to skip Qualifying due of a broken car. I want him to have a good last season. As good as it can be in a Aston Martin.

The last minutes were thrilling! The track got better and better. I literally screamed at McLaren to let Daniel out again, when he was 15th and everyone became faster. There is no time to stay in the box guys!!!!! But in the same moment he went out of the box. Please Mclaren I can’t do this everytime! But he landed on P7 and Lando P5. Okay go on like this but please don’t make it more exiting than it has to be. 

Noo Seb is out. He sounded so sad and it broke my heart into pieces :(. Lance showed Q2 was absolutly possible.

Both Alpha Tauri didn’t make it into Q2 as well. Gaslys time was deleted because he exeedet track limits.Let’s hope he can gain a few positions tomorrow but I don’t see him in the points sadly.

To end Q1 with something nice: Hamilton and Russell finished the first Qualifying session on P1 and P2! Good job mercboys

Q2:

Lando started the second session with a fantastic lap. It’s always lovely to see a McLaren on P1 even when it’s just for a short time.But P6 isn’t that bad. And Daniel’s fastest lap was pretty close to Landos time! YES! That’s my boy!!!!!! Q3 BABY!

They deleted Checos lap time at first due of exeeding track limits but he got the timed lap back and I would say it was the right desicion I don’t think i was off the track at all.But it didn’t help. He ended on P11 because he had traffic (Magnussen) in the last lap. But this don’t explain Checos huge gap to Max. I hope he will figures out what’s wrong this weekend.

I’m sad that Mick and Kevin were both out after Q2 but in the moment Haas is struggeling very much and I wouldn’t expect them in Q3 anyways. I hope that Hass will find out how to get the best out of the updated car as soon as possible.

Q3:

The best thing of Q3 is, that Daniel will start in the top ten. And he ended P9. Okay he was benefited of max having engine issues and without that he would be p10 but I’m a happy little papaya girl right now <3

What an amazing lap by Carlos in the beginning!

Max messages at the team radio was shocking. But to be honest I wouldn’t mind if Ferrari could get some points back in the championchip. But it’s sad to see Max on P10. 

GEORGE GOT POLE!!!!!!! WOW! Who would thought? Merc pole on Ferrari soil. Not me to be honest. As much as I want to see Charles win.... I wouldn’t mind if George will win the race tomorrow either!

Lando is a beast. P4. This guy is amazing!

A really lovely top 10 for the race tomorrow. An Hungary is always good for a surprise. I’m more excited for tomorrow than I would have though I’d be. Lets hope for an exciting and surprising last race before we head into the summer break. Se you tomorrow!

[leqclerc]

Literally. Like theyre now celebrating that he's closing in on charles in points and it's down to how "consistant he is, like last year". Have you even watched a single race to come to that conclusion. Sure they've made mistakes on the other side of the garage as well, but nothing compared to what happens to charles. Honestly, I would not be that happy if my driver is 1 point ahead of George russel in his sometimes-wheelbarrow and still behind my teammate who had not had a clean weekend since Australia. And all this it's because he's more assertive is rubbish. I'm hating that we'll probably have a repeat of last year where he finishes ahead of charles due to luck and people will look at the standings and attribute it to skill somehow (sorry for the rant, just frustrated cause we've seen this show before)

Consistently mid maybe 😭

No worries, we love rant and essays! 👀

Seriously, how is P4 (just one point separating him and George like you said) in the fastest or second fastest (depending on the factors) car with less strategic mistakes and more podiums (7 to 5 which is criminal) than Charles a stellar result??? He's had one more DNF, sure, but 1. it wasn't from the lead (he was looking at a P2 finish maximum in Austria so that's like 18 points lost not 25), 2. I'm sure Ferrari's combined strategic fuck ups have cost Charles more points than Carlos lost through that extra DNF.

And then the man himself goes out and says this 😭

Imo the most consistent this year have been Max and George. I'm not a fan of either, nor am I supporting RB or Mercedes, but goddamn. The only thing stopping Max from consistently getting on the podium, really, is the odd mechanical issue, although with Ferrari's mistakes he's able to recover even from that (P10 to P1). Discounting George's one DNF he hasn't finished below P5 which is crazy considering the sometimes-there performance of the car. Sure, the Mercs have often been helped by luck/Ferrari, taking up the podium spot vacated by Charles (grande strategia) but the point still stands; he's there whenever he can be. Honestly disappointed he didn't have the package to go for P3 in Spa. Like at this point just let Mercedes overtake Ferrari in the constructors' and put us out of our misery already.🥴😑🤷🏻‍♀️

Yeah, that's my concern at the moment. It made for an infuriating winter break last year with all the newfound Carlos fans coming out of the woodwork to circlejerk (it was especially bad on Reddit). It's also very telling that all Carlos fans (at least on Twitter) seem to care about is the gap between Charles and Carlos and if their guy will beat Charles, while Charles fans (and Charles himself) had ambitions for a title run this year. The championship is gone, has been long out of Charles's grasp with the state of things at Ferrari (even if the math says yes the pitwall says no). But him finishing below Carlos when he started off as the championship leader and is still one of the two drivers being referred to as the "title contender" by commentators and experts, would just be the biggest slap to the face imaginable.

[aggressive-positivity-network]

do any of the mercs play board games?

Mercopoly (Board Game

Headcanons)

Scout:

You think he has enough of an attention span to play something that doesn’t involve sweating out his energy drinks?

Hell no!

He gets very bored very quickly, especially with something complex like chess.

He’ll play cards sometimes, but only Crazy Eights and Go Fish - that’s all he knows how to play.

However, there is one true board game he plays occasionally: Candy Land.

It’s one of the few board games that you don’t really have to read the rules for, and there isn’t any writing on the cards.

However, he only asks to play it when he’s not feeling very well.

Medic even has a page in his medical journal for the mercs that says, and I quote:

“The Scout has an extremely short attention span, and if an activity isn’t active or immersive, he will not stay long. If at any point he chooses a sedentary activity, a check-up is in order.”

As sad as it is, a request to play Candyland is a good way to know if Scout needs a little extra reassurance or support.

By the end of the game, Scout usually feels more himself, whether he wins or not.

Engie is especially good with Scout when he’s this way, being the one of the most emotionally sensitive of the group. But he also knows Scout would never admit straight-away how he was feeling, so he usually has a more fun way of getting answers.

“You feelin’ more like a King Candy or a Lord Licorice?”

“...Fudge Monster.”

“That bad, huh?”

“Yeah...”

Spy:

If you ask him, he will most likely go off on a tangent about chess, and how it’s a game of strategy, deception, and crushing your enemy with your wit.

He scoffs at any other game, and constantly makes fun of several of his more intelligent peers for finding interest in them.

“You are mercenaries. Blood-thirsty killers of men. And you are playing ‘Hungry, Hungry Hippos’ like a hoarde of kindergartners?”

But one thing he cannot resist is Sorry.

He considers it above normal board games because it has strategy - or at least that what he says.

He actually just likes it because it’s a game of revenge, which is like a drug to him.

He’s gotten so good at it that if he asks you to play Sorry with him, it’s almost guaranteed that he’s mad at you and just wants to let off some steam by giving you a horrendous loss. However, occasionally, he’s the one who loses.

Spy isn’t a poor sport, exactly - he’s too cultured for that - but sometimes his pride outweighs his manners and he convinces himself that the other player cheated through made up signs of deception.

He simply “allows” them to win because he “doesn’t want to make a fuss.”

But god help the unfortunate soul who decides to rub their win in his face.

Sniper had won five games in a row, and it was clear Spy was getting hot under the collar.

Sniper ended their games with a mischievous, “You’ll get ‘em next time, tiger.” and a small pat on his shoulder.

Spy immediately saw red, grabbed Sniper’s hand, and before the aussie knew it, he was against a concrete wall with a butterfly knife to his throat.

“I could kill you right now. Your final cry for Medic will be drowned in blood, and I would leave you here to die a painful, dramatic death. You’ll be replaced with a rusted trash can of a bot until they could grow another clone of you. Every memory will be gone. The team will be shrouded in grief, not because of losing you, but losing what the clone can never have. And I shall bide my time, ask the clone to play the same game, and kill them when they win. Another clone, another kill. And again. And again. And again. You think the Manns give a damn as long as their work is getting done? You will never be able to form a single thought before I spill your blood - caught in an eternal prisoner’s dilemma where you always lose.”

After gathering his bearings, Sniper finally spoke.

“Is this about your takeout?”

Spy scoffed.

“Do you really think - !”

“Tonight, my treat if you don’t kill me.”

Spy squinted.

“Egg rolls?”

“And an extra order of crab rangoon.”

“Your treat?”

“Yep.”

“How do I know you won’t poison me?”

“Chemical test before and after the food arrives.”

“How do I know Medic isn’t in on it?”

“Miss Pauling as a witness and Scout as an overseer. Pauling’s main objective is to keep us alive, and Scout can’t do bloody anything subtle, even if he wanted to. You can also play back the cameras in the lab, if the mood really struck ya.”

Spy held Sniper against the wall for a minute or two while he thought it all over, then let Sniper fall to the ground.

“I don’t need your sympathy, bushman. But you had better keep your end of the deal. I am the only backstabber around here.”

Demo:

Can’t even stay awake long enough to play most board games.

On the rare chance that he’s sober, he, Engie, and Medic like to play Monopoly.

Here’s the thing: you should never ask a drunkard, an engineer, and a sadist genius to play Monopoly together. It will not end well.

They have been playing the same game for years, with new rules in place and physical extensions to the board in order to try and end the game. Every other Friday, they take the weekend to try and finish it.

However, it all ends up fruitless.

Demo is usually the one keeping the peace, since he is the least competitive out of the three. That isn’t to say he isn’t clawing for the win as much as the other two, but he is definitely the least invested. He’s mostly staying out of principle.

“If there’s one thing I’ve learned, ‘s ta ne’er give up, e’en when the goin’s gettin’ tough. Roll the dice, doc.”

Despite his confidence, he’s not even sure what he would do if he or anyone else won. It would seem more like a relief than a celebration.

Medic:

He’s the one who started the Eternal Monopoly game, which has led to some theories that the game itself came straight from hell, and is one of the many punishments used on sinners. The box does smell a bit of brimstone…

He seems to enjoy the chaos that each round brings and the challenge of coming up with new rules to the game. To any outsider, his commentary and directions are complete nonsense.

“According to zhe ‘Calvinball Rule,’ as stated by Engineer, and the ‘Double Kill,’ as stated by myself, since the current time ends vis a three and ve all received at least two kills zhis veek, ve need to double every other roll and whomever loses zhe resulting game of ‘Bim Bum’ vill have to go to zhe Purple Jail.”

The rules and mechanics are like an unholy amalgamation of Monpoly, Sorry, chess, D&D, Bluff, and poker.

However, when Medic isn’t stapling pages of rules together, he likes to play a nice, relaxing game of checkers with Heavy.

Both of them are excellent checker players, but neither of them care who wins.

In fact, they usually talk over the game, taking the other player’s pieces as one of them shares a story from that day’s battle.

They’ve even played while Heavy was in surgery - leading to many unfortunate times when Medic had to fish a piece out of Heavy’s intestines.

One would think that a genius doctor would also have a passion for chess, but he expresses his disdain for it almost every time the checker board is brought out.

“Ach, people think chess is such an intelligent sport. Let me tell you, liebling, it is terribly overrated. If zhe devil can play chess, anyvun can. He might as vell just give souls avay, vis those shaky claws of his.”

Engineer:

Being the engineer, he is usually the one to add to the Eternal Monopoly.

Pieces, board extensions, cards, trivia - it gives him a nice break from all the weaponry.

He’s usually the one who remembers all the mechanics and rules, and serves as the judge if rules contradict each other.

“Alright, now let’s see here…we’ve got the Infinity Loop over here, but now you’ve got the Time Travel card…how many years? Infinite? Ho boy…looks like I’m gonna have to add a Hilbert’s Hotel square somewhere. Hold on…”

Despite his affinity for Eternal Monopoly, Engineer will play almost any board game. He learns new rules and figures quickly, and enjoys the challenges that brings.

However, if he’s particularly burnt out, he likes to take a break by playing Jenga. He and Spy have a friendly rivalry, since Engie can tell which blocks are supporting and Spy has quick fingers.

Spy, oddly, is a lot more amiable losing in Jenga - he knows Engie won’t think less of him - but Engineer hates when the bricks fall over. Not because it means he lost, but because, to him, it’s a failure on his part…even if it was someone else that knocked it over.

He’s made several blueprints for the perfect Jenga game, but has concluded that no human hand could put it into practice.

During one particularly bad day, Engie bumped the table, causing the whole column to come crashing down. Spy had already recovered from the noise, but Engie was still standing there, stone-faced.

His eyes were covered by his goggles, but it was clear he was crying.

Several of his machines had broken on the job, and to him, this was just another egregious mistake.

Spy carefully put the blocks back in the container, and Engie came to his senses.

“I’m real sorry, Spy. Maybe another time…?”

Spy only nodded. He was thinking.

The next time they played, Spy brought out a different container.

Instead of wood, the bricks seemed to be made of a sturdy foam.

“They fall a bit more…quietly,” Spy explained. He dropped one, and it only made a small bouncing sound. “Pyro uses these, but they allowed me to borrow it.”

Engie was a bit skeptical at first, since it was a new material, but he got the hang of it rather quickly. He was almost ecstatic the first time it fell - the blocks barely made any sound at all!

After a few games, Spy had to leave for an assignment. Engie put a hand on their arm.

“Thank ya, Spy. Maybe you ain’t the cold-blooded backstabber I thought you were.”

Spy chuckled, but said little else. He didn’t want to admit that noise sensitivity plagued him as well.

Pyro:

Pyro loves board games, and has quite the collection in their room.

Each plastic piece is at least a little melted, and all the boxes have two or three scorch marks.

Hungry Hungry Hippos, Candyland, and Uno are among her favorites.

He is an absolute beast at Uno, though.

They take each game very seriously, especially when they can convince the whole team to play.

As you can imagine, it’s pure chaos - it even led to a rule in the Merc Guidebook: “When playing Uno with three or more players with the inclusion of a Pyro, at least one Mann Co. representative and/or a mediating Medic must be present.”

Pyro has been known the hide cards, bribe players, or even try to set flame to competition. Playing Uno is almost like a mission, with weapon preparation and Spy posing as other players.

The mercs even have a betting stand that Sniper runs. All parties have lost a lot of money that way.

It’s pretty much the only time outside of battle that the team remembers how cruel and malicious Pyro can be.

Sniper:

Conventional board games aren’t exactly his forté, but he does enjoy a bit of cards every once in a while - Solitaire being his favorite.

He even has a pack of cards in his Sniper Square for that exact purpose. It allows him the pass the time without having to look away from his targets too often.

On occasion, he could be pressed to play poker, but only if the stakes weren’t monetary (i.e candy pieces, crackers, duties, etc.).

His favorite part of every match is shuffling the cards. Pretty much every merc could shuffle cards, but Sniper could make them almost float with how quick his fingers and wrists moved. He always began the game with a new trick he learned, which delighted his fellow players (usually Spy, Engineer, Medic, and Demo).

You could always tell if he had a busy day because he would avoid tricks with too much movement, which would be murder on his sore fingers and hands.

Pyro is currently learning card tricks from Sniper, and show off what they learn at the beginning of every Uno game.

Heavy:

He isn’t a huge fan of the bright, plastic-y board games that Pyro has, although he will play them if asked.

It’s mostly because of how complicated the rules are and the fact there are almost never a Russian translation for the directions.

He always prefers checkers, cards, or mancala, which he almost exclusively plays with Medic because he’s the only one who speaks fluent Russian.

Heavy can play a mean game of mancala, though, and it’s the only game he can beat Medic at.

Soldier:

The only games he will play are Battleship and Uno - but only after Miss Pauling convinced him it was “American enough” because the game had red, white, and blue cards.

He prefers the electronic Battleship because of the sound effects and voices. However, if it’s out of batteries, he’ll make his own sound effects.

Miss Pauling is the best at pretending to be a commander, so she’s usually the one playing with him - but, sometimes, Demo gets in on the action, too.

[f1-unpopularopinions]

if max wins the championship, it will be deserved. red bull hasn't been the fastest car *all* season, see: spain, portimao, hungary, italy, russia, turkey where merc were definitely the faster car, despite the results not always being there.

in france, great britain and maybe the usa, rb and merc were arguably on similar pace and it was largely a strategy game, but in bahrain, monaco, azerbaijan, styria, austria, netherlands and mexico rb was faster, even if some of the results weren't there due to external circumstances.

we don't really know how belgium would have gone down, so i dismiss it in my mind.

so that's 6 races where merc had the car advantage, and 7 for red bull. that's pretty even. yes, red bull has arguably had the stronger,more consistent car iver the season, but it's not like max hasn't been putting in the work like lewis has over the course of his previous championships.

it's nowhere near the level of dominance that mercedes has had over the past few years, where lewis has put up a brilliant battle against valtteri in the same car to win 2 or so championships. they were all well deserved, and the epitome of a synergistic relationship between car, team and driver.

max has done extroadinarily well this year, and as much as i don't like him for things he's done in the past, he's definitely had his fair share more of "bad luck" this year than lewis, and has definitely been more consistent; the man hasn't qualified lower than p3 when he's set a time, and he hasn't made some of the unforced errors with big repocussions that lewis has, especially in the first half of the season.

but it's not about the "lost points", but more about how you respond to that loss, and he's done it admirably. lewis too.

i just wish people would appreciate that either driver would be deserving, because it's only about what happens on track, and how far to their car's performance ceiling they can both get on a consistent basis.

anyway... let's prepare for the shitfest of a sprint weekend in sao paulo 🙂🙂🙂

Send us your unpopular F1 opinions!