#wouldve figured that shit out a lot sooner

[twosomeofcuteness]

Guys, Queen Clarion is so hot. I literally can't even

[miiilowo]

What do you think William and Michael’s relationship was like before Evan died?

I always thought of them having a good relationship before that, and William feeling betrayed by Michael “murdering” Evan.

im gonna put these into one since theyre related :3

I am a firm believer in the fact william ADORED his kids. it seems like a fair leap to make that he'd hate them since hes, you know, a child murderer, but there is soooooooooooo much evidence to contradict it and its genuinely one of my favorite things about him. as such, i do think that, when it comes to michael specifically, he used to love him too! most of this is headcanon, though i do have reasons for some of it, and especially the belief he loved them.

Regarding michael though, at MOST, it would've been being just...Kind of irritated with him. If you've got a kid whos kind of an annoying prick and an asshole, youre not gonna like them 100% of the time, but that doesnt mean youre going to hate them, either. It's also important to note that Mike is the oldest; He's been around the longest. He was Williams first kid.

I havent thought too much about their relationship before evan and elizabeth came along, but i certainly don't think it would be bad in any way. William likes kids! He likes entertaining kids! He likes to entertain, in general; Hes a very theatric individual. It's what he centered his entire life around for a long time, and it's not a stretch to say he would be delighted to have a kid of his own, you know? Before the whole bite of 83 incident, he was coasting. He was not the man we know him to be now.

As time goes on, though, I think it would be a sort of situation where Michael "resents" William for kind of being...Absent. For not paying as much attention to him as he used to. He's very, VERY obsessed with his work, and taking into account how mike is your standard asshole teenager, i dont think its a stretch to believe he'd hate how he's never around and use that against him in his head; Not only that, but he has two younger siblings, who are probably getting a lot more attention because they require it. Thats angst fuel, baby!!!!!!!!! God knows SOMETHING was wrong with that boy and its not the same shit thats wrong with william

Post evan-crunching, I do think he would resent michael. I dont think he would LIKE that he resents him, but i think he would nonetheless. It would be...Very complicated. He'd know its not his fault, but its definitely his fault, right? It wasn't on purpose, but he did do it on purpose, you know? He did it, but he didn't mean to. But he did. Its kind of hard to forgive someone for something like that.

Though, I know Williams character, and i know he...Doesn't like to admit to his faults. (And even if he does admit to them, he tends to embrace them and see them as a good thing.) Due to this, I can see him deflecting any and all blame onto michael & henry (because he was the better engineer at this time and mostly responsible for the animatronics), rather than the fact he wasnt there to prevent it from happening like he probably should have been + allowed michael to continue bullying evan in general.

Instead of being consumed by the thought that, perhaps, if he had stepped in sooner, this wouldn't have happened, he WOULD press that blame onto mike. he would grow to resent him over time. It doesn't help that, in my personal interpretation of him, the whole reason william started his whole child murder escapade was because he wanted to figure out how to bring evan back; he just kind of lost the thread along the way. always been a bit silly, regardless.

While its obvious that william fucking hates mike later on in the timeline, i think that may be partially because the whole 'wholly blaming michael for evans death' thing could easily turn into 'wholly blaming michael for everything that went wrong'. if we do choose to believe that he started killing in an effort to figure out how to bring his son back, that means michael wouldve been the first domino. the reason he started killing, the reason he built the funtimes, the reason elizabeth died (whom he also loved very much; see circus baby), the reason henry no longer wanted to associate with him, the reason he lost everything. his lifes work. his passions. his entire family. the reason he died. the reason hes stuck inside springtrap. the reason hes eternally suffering. if it werent for michael killing evan, none of this wouldve happened.

its not michaels fault that william ruined his own life, and i think, deep down, thats something he knows, but its not something he wants to acknowledge. not after believing it for so long.

anyway before he died i think they had family game nights

[aceyanaheim]

Friend: I do this becasue of X disorder. 

Me: oh hey i do that too sometimes...AND I have showings of that disorder.

Me:....wait.

[zombieella]

noi

We are all Noi stans first and humans second

If someone had shown this panel to me when i was in highschool I wouldve figured shit out a lot sooner 😔💘

[shhh-no-ones-home]

no distractions* chris motionless x reader

+++++++++

i feel like i was hyping this up so hard lol. this is what i was talking about yesterday and didnt even get a chance to write more than like the first three sentences when my family was over. it is supes on brand for me to write this shit at a family gathering tho, that part was true. i was so busy though. oh well, i still got it done and i hope you all like it ;)

* - First time? more or less. its explained just read it lol

Song: too afraid to love you by the black keys

tag list: @thisplace-ishaunted @ryansitkowskiswifey @alilpunkrock @theoneandonlykymberlee @cynic-spirit +++++++++

I sat on the couch and played with Chris's hair as a movie played on his TV. He was super into it and I enjoyed watching him have a good time. we spent a lot of evenings like this, just chilling with each other. It was comfortable. He looked at me and smiled, a gesture I gladly returned. He leaned forward and kissed me gently.

"you enjoying yourself?"

i nodded.

"yeah, are you?"

he kissed me again.

"now that youre here i am."

i laughed at him, knowing he could see the blush creeping its way to my face. we'd only been dating a few months but it felt like a life time. he took my hand in his and kissed me again, a little more passionate this time. i hummed in response and kissed him back. we continued back and forth and soon, with more kisses, we ended in a heated make out session. often our nights ended like that; watch a movie together, make out for a bit, and cuddle until the movie ended and i went home. this felt a little different though and i was nervous. he held me close to him, pulling me to straddle his lap as he shoved his tongue in my mouth. he moaned into me as i tugged at the ends of his hair and he pulled away, hands roaming my body as his mouth traveled down my neck. i felt his hand slowly slide under my shirt, to the small of my back and i freaked. i sat back away from him, hands placed firmly against his chest.

"do you want tea? im feeling tea."

i stood up and heard him sigh as i walked into the kitchen. i felt bad, really i did. chris and i hadnt slept together yet and as a matter of fact i hadnt slept with anyone. i was so worried of what he would think of me every time we got close i would do something else instead. like right now. i didnt want tea, i wanted to sleep with my boyfriend. but i was so damn scared. i leaned against the counter after getting two mugs down and waited for the water to heat up. then chris walked in and i could see his reflection in the window above the sink.

"baby is something wrong?"

i stood upright and faced him.

"No, why would something be wrong?"

he walked slowly to me, placing his hands gently on my waist.

"i dont know i just feel like youre not as into me as you seem."

i let out a nervous laugh.

"why would you say that?"

he shrugged.

"i dont know, i guess your body language. every time we make out and even get close to going further you just leave. and i love you, i really do, and i would never want to push you to do something you didnt want to do, but i feel like you dont want me."

he looked so sad. god i should have told him the first time he tried. i frowned.

"thats not it at all chris, i promise."

i looked down and took his hands off my waist to hold them.

"i have something to tell you."

i looked up at him and he was staring intently at me.

"ive never been to bed with anyone. like ever. and i always leave when we get close cause im scared. im scared of myself and im scared of what youll think of me during and after."

he looked a little relieved and i watched as a smile slowly crept to his face. he leaned down and kissed me gently. when he pulled away he pushed my hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear.

"why didnt you tell me sooner? i want you to be comfortable with me and if that means not sleeping together thats perfectly fine. i wouldnt have kept trying if i wouldve known you didnt want to."

i let his hands go and wrapped him in a tight hug. i sighed in relief, feeling him pet my hair.

"yeah but i do want to."

i pulled away from him.

"i know youve seen what ive got at home, so obviously im seasoned and not worried about what its gonna feel like."

he let out a nervous laugh.

"yeah i guess that didnt really help my own insecurities."

i tried to offer a small smile.

"sorry about that by the way."

he shook his head.

"its fine, lets go back to you wanting it?"

i laughed a little.

"right, i do, i want you. i want to be able to share that with you but like i said im scared. i know me, and i also know i want everything to be perfect and im so afraid of the awkward moments and just i guess being vulnerable in front of someone that i care about."

he ran his hand through my hair a few times.

"thats the whole point though. i love you and i would never judge you on anything like that, i know my game isnt exactly perfect. this should be a moment we share and experience and figure out together. and i want you to know that we can take it as far as your comfortable with."

i nodded and fiddled with his fingers.

"youre right."

i looked up at him and he raised a brow.

"i want to do this with you."

i swallowed hard before taking his one hand and pulling him down the hall to his room.

"and youre sure about this?"

i nodded.

"yeah, i am one hundred percent ready."

I swallowed hard.

"i think."

we both laughed a little as we entered his room. i turned around, taking his other hand in mine too and walking backwards into his bed.

"we'll only do what you want, we've just gotta talk to each other."

he sat down on the edge of the bed next to me and i kissed him gently.

"thank you for understanding chris. it really means a lot."

he kissed me just as gently.

"of course baby."

I leaned in and kissed him again and again until we were back to our heated make out session. He pushed me up the bed, our mouths moving slowly against each other as he crawled up over me. He was knelt between my legs, shoving his thigh into me. He moaned into my mouth as I ground my hips down onto his leg. He pulled away from me and looked between my eyes.

"What do you want to do first?"

I smirked at him and pulled at his shirt.

"First I think we should get rid of this."

He smiled at me as I slowly slid it up his torso and off of him. I kissed him deeply before pushing him off of me and onto the bed. He raised a brow at me as I knelt over him, pushing my hips down onto his.

"Is this fine?"

I asked, unsure at first but he nodded quickly at me.

"Yeah this is great."

I smiled at him.

"Great."

I ran my fingers through his hair and watched him as he closed his eyes and sighed in pleasure. I started slowly kissing down his neck, dragging my fingers lightly down his chest. When I got to his jeans I popped the button and looked up at him. He had a small smile on his face.

"Can I take this off?"

He asked, playing with the hem of my shirt. I nodded slowly.

"Yeah."

He pushed it up slowly, running his fingers lightly over my skin as he did so until it was off. He sat and admired me before sitting up and hugging me to him. His hands were both firmly placed on my back as he looked up at me.

"You're beautiful."

He said lowly and I smiled down at him, wrapping my arms around his shoulders and kissing him.

"So are you."

He smiled at me and I felt him start to unclip my bra. I pushed my hips down onto him as he slid it off my arms.

"Damn."

He breathed out and I laughed.

"Thanks."

He had a lazy smile in his face, placing his hands gently on my hips. I sat up and moved down the bed a little bit, seeing him pout at the loss of contact.

"Pants off?"

I asked and he nodded, lifting himself up and sliding them off as well as his underwear. I bit my lip as I watched him toss them to the floor. He was already hard for me and I was kind of excited now. I looked up to his face only to be met with a wicked smirk.

"You like what you see?"

I nodded slowly, sliding my hands to my own waist band.

"My turn?"

He nodded.

"If you want."

I slowly undid my pants, trying to tease him. I pushed my pants down my thighs first, showing him the red panties I had on. He watched me intently as I stood up on the bed and dropped my pants, kicking them to the floor. I slid my thumb into the waistband of my panties and he reached out for me.

"May I?"

He asked with pleading eyes. I nodded and stepped over him, one leg on either side of him. I looked down at him as he ran his hands slowly up my thighs, grabbing the waistband of my panties and sliding them down just as slowly. He breathed deeply as I stepped out of them.

"Absolutely beautiful."

He looked up at me as he kissed the inside of my thigh. I hummed in response before dropping to my knees on top of him. I kissed him deeply.

"I love you Chris."

He ran his fingers lightly up my arm.

"I love you too y/n."

I placed my hands gently on his shoulders.

"I've always wanted to try this."

I bit my lip again.

"I know it's my first time but can I ride you?"

He nodded, a wide smile making its way to his features.

"If you want to, yeah. I'd love that."

I readjusted myself on top of him, both of us looking down as he lined himself up at my entrance. I sighed out as I sank down onto him. I paused for a second, looking at him to see if that was okay and his eyes were closed.

"Is that alright?"

He half opened his eyes and squeezed my hips.

"Yeah, more than alright."

I nodded, lifting myself up and dropping back down onto him.

"Can you guide me?"

He smiled at me.

"Of course baby."

He grip on my hips got a little tighter as I raised and dropped again, rocking my hips into him. We watched each other intently as I moved. I moved a little quicker, running my one hand down his arm. I looked down, seeing his breathing getting heavier and his stomach rising and falling quickly. I looked back to his face and his eyes were closed again. He was mumbling something under his breath that I couldn't quite hear. He dug his finger tips into my sides as he dropped his head back against the headboard.

"Fuck."

He breathed out.

"Are you sure this is your first time?"

I laughed a little as I kept moving against him. He half opened his eyes to look at me.

"Yeah baby."

He groaned and closed his eyes again. I reached down and started circling my clit, I wasn't getting anywhere fast and figured he probably wouldn't last much longer. I moaned loudly at the feeling, closing my eyes too. As I moved my hand I felt him sit up, hugging around my waist and kissing across my neck and chest.

"Fuck Chris I'm close."

He moaned against my neck.

"Me too."

He ran his hand slowly down my back before squeezed my ass. I pushed myself down onto him one last time, feeling my orgasm spread through me like a wildfire.

"Chris!"

I called as I shook on top of him, still pressing my fingers against my clit. He dropped one hand to the bed and pushed in and out of me a few times before grunting as he came too. When my body calmed down I opened my eyes and dropped my head to rest on his shoulder. We were both breathing heavily as we held onto each other. I sat up and looked at him.

"Thanks."

He looked at me for a second before we both laughed a little bit. I sat up fully, pulling him out of me and kneeling back down onto his lap.

"Did you have a good time?"

He asked as I wrapped my arms back around his shoulders, hugging him to me.

"I had a wonderful time."

I said, kissing his cheek and actually hugging him. He held me tightly, our sweaty bodies pressed together.

"I'm glad."

I hummed in response.

"Yeah, me too."

He scratched my back lightly.

"Does this mean you'll actually spend the night now?"

I laughed a little and sat back away from him. I kissed him gently.

"I'd love to spend the night with you."

He grinned at me widely.

"I'd love that too."

[ron-stepupable]

Things I wouldve done differently in HOA:

More friendship between eddie and Nina or at the very least foreshaddow with the Osirian

This one is oddly specific but hear me out: Fabian regularly expressing his dislike for Jerome, which would start to change after a jelfie apology we never got.

So here’s how it would go: Fabian openly expresses his dislike for Jerome until the ping pong starts. Then Alfie gets into trouble with sweetie following his chemical experience (regradless I think this should have led to discovering another component) sweetie tells Alfie he’s gotten too many demerits to play in a sporting tournament, and that he can’t play for the shield. Alfie is upset and goes on a rant how he “was supposed to help, how it was the least he could do etc..” to which Fabian replies that Jerome blackmailed Alfie last year and was horrible to him and everyone else and Alfie owes him nothing. Alfie then turns on him and yells at him for acting like he knows everything about them. He says that Jerome apologized to him on their own in his own special way and it was clear he felt very bad about it. And how Alfie understands having finicky fathers and wanted to help his best mate get some happiness (Jerome doesn’t seem to have much 🤷🏻‍♀️) Jerome would overhear this and instead you being upset that Alfie can’t play he’s flattered by his words and comforts Alfie, promoting him to coach and apologizing in screen actually saying the words: “I’m sorry for all the shit I’ve done to you. I’ve never actually said the words so that’s an apology all in itself. There’s no other words but sorry. There’s no excuse and I can’t make it up. An apologies all I have to give.” Alfie then in turn apologizes for shutting Jerome out and how he’s sorry he never knew about Jerome’s home situation sooner. Jerome would say something along the lines of “its all good, mate,” or “it’s okay, bro.” This interaction would begin Fabian’s arc of realizing Jerome isn’t so bad, which would come to a head during the Jasper situation. (Phew that was a novel)

Joy saving Patricia from the bolt instead of Fabian (she had made up with Fabian, not Patricia)

Patricia becoming editor after Joy and Mara fuck it up

“You can’t do a mediocre job if you’re the only one doing it.”

We got a surplus of Sarah/Nina parallels but what about Eddie/Rufus parallels.

More backstory on Rufus and victor. For example: They were both young (actually young) men when WWII began. Did they fight? If not, why?

Conversations between Rufus and Jerome in the barn to understand Rufus a bit more. It would have been eerie and I would’ve been here for it.

Fabian having an efing backstory. Maybe some daddy issues so he can relate to the other boys (wow just realizing all the boys have daddy problems to some extent) like maybe just a distant father figure who’s not really invested in his sons life. Idk but I want SOMETHING

In ancient Egypt there’s a lot of stigma around your name. so as long as your name still exists somewhere you can never truly die (or cease to exist in this case) I wish it was a plot point that senkhara’s crown had her cartouche on it so when Eddie destroyed it that’s why she was weakened and able to be pulled into duat with Rufus.

Jerome and poppy having a talk where they tak about their lives and their relationships and how much shit they’ve gone through and how much they care about eachother. It would of course end with some tears and a hug.

Getting some closure on the gem. (Who stole it...John? Who dared him to? Sweetie?)

On that topic I wanted to see sweeties reaction to John being released. They were clearly friends.

Eddie feeling weird about not having Nina around and not understanding “how can I protect you if I can’t be near you”

A distraught joy going to Patricia after being dumped by Jerome and speaking with Sinner!Fabian. She goes to her old best friend as a last resort and Sinner!Patricia knows this; she doesn’t spare one feeing from Joy. It would be more impactful from Patricia as former friends it would’ve crushed me and I would’ve loved it.

Patty: ew stop flirting with my boy,

KT: god’s sake, Patricia, I don’t even like boys!

Alfie being a theater nerd. (He just seems the type)

Seeing more of Patricia’s struggle of not feeling good enough in her family and music. (Like she plays in the orchestra and hates it but doesn’t dare quit) and this affecting how she communicates with Eddie leading to a conversation between them and Eddie encouraging her to do what makes her happy and forget about her family’s expectations.

Alfie getting mad that his safety is always ignored and he’s forced to be the lab rat a lot of the times. And expressing his frustration about it.

Nina going off the deep end and becoming super obsessed with the tasks and goin a little cray.

Might make a part two but for now enjoy my novel.

[strongsassysexysloane]

You and Me - Cont. Recovery

So I don’t do case specific stuff or medical, but I wanted to write a certain situation so I bit the bullet or in this case bomb. 

. . . 

Its been two months since you first kissed and emotions were admitted and its been great. You spend most weekends at each others place with a few nights during the week spent together when there's no intruding case. This case has been just out of reach for over a week now. Someone had been going around DC assassinating people by way of small explosions and the toll was currently at three people.

"Found something. Abandoned warehouse down town. Shell company but its the same as the others." McGee explains while everyone grabs their gear.

Everything happens so quickly. You and Ellie enter via the back door of the warehouse and you see the wire spring and you throw yourself over Ellie before the bomb goes off. You can hear voices, its all jumbled but you hear a siren in the distance and just let the blankness take you.

"Please wake up, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Sweetheart just please wake up." You can hear Jack's plea but it feels like a thousand miles away. You want to respond but the blackness pulls you back under.

"She's going to be fine Jack." Gibbs voice doesn't come out as confident as he hoped.

"Don't lie to me Gibbs." Her voice cracks.

"She's going to wake up Jack." He reaches over and squeezes her shoulder. Jack sobs and squeezes your hand.

"She has to. How did you not get bomb squad to go in first?! He's killing people with bombs for crying out loud." Shes defeintely sobbing now. Holding your hand and resting her head against your waist. "Baby please wake up."

"If you need anything Jack, just call. When she wakes up, please call." She doesnt say anything just nods. Gibbs leaves reluctantly but he needs to find the bastrd that put one of his agents comatosed in the hospital. He stops in to see Ellie signing herself out. "You need to stay here."

"Hell I do. How is she?" Ellie has a few scrapes on her cheek and forehead, her left arm is in a sling but she's been cleared by the doctors to leave and take it easy.

"Still out. Jack will call if there's any change."

The day falls to night and you havent shown any signs of waking. It's been 8 hours since the explosion, 4 since you came out of surgery to remove shrapnel from your shoulder and thigh. Jack tries to speak but nothing comes out, she just looks at you with tears falling down her cheeks. Both of her hands wrap around yours and you move a finger. Jack chokes out, afraid she was mistaken.

"Jack.." You choke out and slowly open your eyes to see a red eyes, flushed cheeks and Jack crying. "Hey.." You hate seeing Jack cry.

"It's ok. Don't worry baby. Just relax, I'll get a doctor." She goes to leave but you hold onto her hand and nod slightly towards to call button. She half laughs and presses the call button. You reluctantly let go of her hand once the doctor comes to check on you, your eyes don't leave hers as she calls the team to tell them youre awake.

Its another two days before you're released from hospital and are on strict orders to take a week off work. To your suprise Jack gets a few extra days off because as Vance put it shes getting no work done edge wise so she might as well be at home with you and work from home if needed. You can't complain. Jack has been by your side since you got home from hospital 3 hours ago.

"Come here please." You wriggle back into the couch and you watch Jack walk towards you from the kitchen. She holding a cup of tea.

"What do you need?" She sits on the edge of the couch and you tug are her shirt. She places the cup ong the coffee table.

"You." She smiles and lies down on her side facing you. You wrap your arm around her waist and tug her closer so your noses are only millimetres apart.

"How are you feeling?" Your eyes drop to her lips and you don't answer her question. Just capture her lips in a passionate, moan causing kiss.

"Sorry I put you through that." You rest your forehead against hers.

"You dont need to apologise. Someone should've call the bomb squad." You smirk at her anger. That would've been the smart thing to do but they responded quickyl, wanting to catch the guy but instead you got thrown hard, hitting your head and shrapnel as a reward.

"Probably but it didn't happen and I'm sorry-" You brush your nose against Jacks which makes her mouth curve up into a cute smile.

"Stop it."

"No. Becuase if the roles were reversed I dont know how I would cope." You kiss a tear that rolls down Jack's cheek and you pull her in and she starts crying. "I'm fine. I get you all to myself for a few days at least. If I knew that would happen I'd do it-"

"No!" She chokes out and you stop that sentence.

"No I wouldn't but when I'm back to 100% I think we should go away somewhere."

"That sounds amazing." Jack leans back and looks into your eyes. "Where?"

You smile and run your hand up her arm, cup her cheek. "I'd love to see you surf."

"You just want to see me in a bikini." She accuses and you laugh.

"Maybe." You kiss her and she smiles.

"Only if you wear a bikini as well."

"Sounds like a fair deal." She laughs and curls back into you. You relax with her against you, the slight pain from the position is dulled by having her relax in your arms.

She looks after you, helps you move from the bedroom to the couch. She doesn't go home until she runs out of clothes and only when you insist that you can be left alone for a few hours does she reluctantly leave promising to grab some food before returning with enough clothes to last another week.

"Hey. You were meant to stay on the couch until I got back." Jack comes up beside you, wondering what you're doing. "Why did you all of a sudden need to clear out a draw?"

You smile at her and see the moment she figures it out. "If you need more space, I can move around some other things. There's space in the cupboard as well to hang up your dresses and power suits." She reaches and pulls you by the back of the neck in for a deep, passionate kiss. "Mmm I should've done that sooner." You both laugh and Jack helps you back to the bed to sit down even though you are capable of doing it yourself. You enjoy Jack fussing over you and she enjoys doing it.

"Thank you." She smiles and helps you prop yourself up on the pillows.

"Go on. Sort out your clothes. I'll watch." You wink and she shakes her head with a smirk. You enjoy watching Jack move around your room. Like she's meant to be here and you want to tell her but know that the draw and cupboard space is enough for now.

She joins you on the bed not long after, satisfied with her sorting and you roll into her. She sighs and you know what she's thinking.

"I'm fine. I can actually move around you know." You push yourself up and Jack runs her fingers across your cheek, avoiding the scratch just under your eye from the explosion. "I may look like I'm half dead still but I'm good. I've got a check up on Monday and should be back in the office if everything is good."

"I know. But-"

"But you want to be here with me, I know babe. I want you here too but work needs you more. Lots of cases and your paperwork is getting out of hand on my coffee table." She leans over and kisses your lips. "Not that I don't love your crap everywhere in my house." She nips at your bottom lip and you smile.

"You haven't complained before." You kiss the tip of her nose and rest back into her shoulder.

"Not complaining." There's silence and you begin to drift off to sleep but Jack's phone rings.

"Hey, yeah she's alright." You hear the mumbled voice of Gibbs.

"You woke me up!" You groan and here a chuckle through the phone.

"She is a very grumpy morning person. Ow!" She laughs and drops a kiss to your head. "Yeah I know, you what? I'll be there in twenty. Don't start without me!" She snaps the phone shut.

"Found him?" You guess and you roll off her and move to get up.

"Where do you think you're going?" She tries to tug you down.

"You will miss out on interrogating him if you argue with me on this." You here her grumble and you hop out of bed slowly. She helps you put on a jacket and both leave within minutes of Gibbs calling.

"Hey! You aren't meant to be here." You walk in behind Jack into the bullpen. McGee hops up and gives you a gentle hug and then Ellie does the same. You havent seen the team since you left the hospital.

"You look like shit." Nick laughs and you just chuckle.

"Thanks Nick." He winks but the smile disappears when he sees Jack's glare. "She knows I'm joking."

"Go home y/n!" Gibbs orders.

"Don't you have a bad guys to interrogate. Plus Jack drove so I can't really go home without her, now can I?" You can see Gibbs ready to fight it. Probably to call a taxi.

"The sooner we interrogate this guy, the sooner she can go home." Jack mediates and you just smile, looking at your girlfriend and then to Gibbs. Gibbs gives up and walks off to interrogation with Jack in toe.

"Need a hand?" Ellie asks as you hobble after them.

"I'm good. Thanks. Want to see them tear this guy to shreds." Everyone follows you to interrogation.

The guy is smug and tight lipped. He notices Jack's emotional state and plays into it. Jack almost punches the guy but Gibbs is quick to intervene and Nick is quick to jump into interrogation and Jack leaves.

"Smooth Agent Sloane." You lean against the doorframe to observation.

"Like you wouldve kept your cool with that dickhead." You reach out your hand and Jack takes it, you walk back into observation and watch Gibbs finally break the guy. Caught him out on a lie and you rest your head on Jack's shoulder as she wraps her arm around your waist.

"Think Nick was going to punch him if he didn't get caught out." McGee commented from beside you.

"Gibbs was about 30 seconds away from flipping the table." Ellie mentioned and you all chuckle.

"Now can we go home?" You smile at the thought of Jack calling your place home.

"Lead the way." You say your goodbyes to the team and promise Gibbs to have your detailed report from the explosion in his inbox by end of day tomorrow.

. . . . 

[parkersvibes]

finding out peter is spiderman

read part one here

a/n: omg guys. i got so much feedback from you all on part one so i decided to make a part 2. and yeahh i really hope you guys enjoy. if you do lmk and i’ll do a part 3 (:

(i also apologize if the read more doesnt work )))): )

warnings: fluff, a smidge on angst

pt 2. peter parker x stark!reader

• figuring out he was spiderman

• alright you’re a stark

• but no one knows that

• but you’re really intuitive

• so there were little things you started to notice

• after uncle ben died there was some weird shit (if you want a part ab comforting peter ab uncle ben lemme know. he deserves his own part)

• like how he stopped wearing his adorable glasses

•and i guess started almost bulking up????

• he got WAY taller

• and usually you’re used to seeing him shirtless but this one time you walked in on him

• holy mother of god

• IT WAS LIKE HE GREW ABS OVER NIGHT

• BECAUSE FRESHMAN PETE DID NOT HAVE A 6 PACK

• freshman peter also got winded walking up the stairs

• AND NOW HE’S RUNNING LAPS IN GYM LIKE ITS NOTHING ??

• must be nice

• but then things got more sus

• all of a sudden he was skipping class more

• leaving early

• cancelling study sessions and skipping movie nights with ned

• and you and ned were clueless

• you and ned started hanging out more

• MR. LEEDS IS HILARIOUS LEMME TELL YOU

• he was like this little ball of happiness

• you found out his real name is Edward

• HOW CUTE

• and WOW HIS MOM BEING FILIPINA MEANT THAT YOU WERE BEING FED ALL THE TIME OH MY GOD

• ngl pete got a bit jealous

• one night,,, when pete cancelled YET AGAIN

• ned asked you, “hey y/n?”

• “hm”

• “why don’t we ever hang out at your place”

• “i told you ned, my family is just a lot yanno. plus your family and may are really cool”

• “okay but how come you don’t have any social media under your name?”

• “wdym?”

• “like you go by ‘y/n Smith’ but everything that pops up on the internet isn’t YOU”

• “pfff i told you,,, i dont believe in that stuff”

• “y/n, you know you can tell me anything”

• you wanted to be honest. this was one of your best friends. and you’ve been lying to them about your family for over a year now

• “ned i just. it’s complicated”

• “like peter’s family?”

• “nonono, i’m lucky to have both of my parents- well i have a step mom. my real mom wanted nothing to do with me. so she left me on the steps of my dads house. never came back”

• “oh shit bro, i’m sorry”

• “nah don’t worry. my dad is really cool and my step mom... she’s awesome.”

• “what’re their names”

• NATASHA WAS GONNA KILL YOU IF SHE COULD SEE HOW BAD YOU WERE STRUGGLING

• “well- uh- my step moms name is,,, um. well her real name is Virginia”

• THE WORLD KNEW PEPPER AS PEPPER NOT VIRGINIA

• “and my- my dads name is ehm... st, steve???”

• natasha was gonna have your ass

• “y/n,,,”

• “yeah”

• “you’re a horrible liar”

• “PFFF WHAAAT? NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT”

• “dude you left your spiderman fan tumblr open on my laptop that one night,,, and i MAY have done some snooping”

• okay you mightve had a slight obsession with the webslinger. HE WAS COOL. and what better way to keep track of him without alerting your family,,, good ol tumblr

• oh god ned, HOW MUCH SNOOPING”

• “enough to know that you have a weird obsession with that spider guy and that your last name isnt smith”

• so you told him the truth. you were a stark

• and well,,, he reacted with

• “okay cmon,,, don’t lie”

• so you showed him your late night dance parties with Nat when she was feeling goofy

• and your random snaps of steve when he was trying to figure out how to work technology

• videos of you reacting to vines with bucky

(if yall wanna see domestic life with the avengers just lmk)

• which usually results with THE WINTER SOLDIER ALMOST PEEING HIS PANTS. and trying to reenact it with sam or the other avengers

• “heyheyehy y/n guess what?”

• “what bucky?” *is in the middle of doing hw*

• “FRESHOVACADO” *bolts out of the room before you throw something at him*

• only the two of you getting vine and meme references

• (meaning getting in trouble during meetings bc you’ll make eye contact and start laughing)

• OH HIS FAVORITE IS THE “country boiiii, i love you,,, 😛”

• anywaayyy

• ned was SHOOK

• “nowayohmygodyoureanavenger”

• “no ned,,, only when they need me to be”

• *led to him asking 100000 questions*

• “does Mr. America smell like old man”

• “what language does Ms. Widow think in”

• “how many shirts does Mr. Hulk own”

• “so do they wear normal clothes or are they always PREPARED”

• “does your dad have to walk a weird way when hes in his suit”

• “do they ever chafe in their suits”

• “yes ned. we’re stocked up on baby powder”

• which you didnt mind bc it felt nice telling the truth

• ned WANTED TO TELL PETER SO BAD

• “ned no, i don’t want him to think of me differently”

• he understood. but still defended peter and said that hed still treat you the same

• anyway,,, peter started showing up with bruises and stuff which had you v concerned

• “pete what’s up? you’ve been avoiding ned and i and you have skipped out on every movie night since sophomore year started”

• “t’s nothing. dont worry ab it”

• “peter cmon, it’s just me”

• you figured maybe it had to do with ben??? but you gave him his space. you just wanted to be there for him yanno. you didnt want him to shut you out

• “Y/N I SAID ITS NOTHING. FOR FUCKS SAKE CAN YOU LEAVE ME ALONE???” he snapped (and not in the good way)

• and this was on your way to class so the whole hallway heard

• ouch

• so you left him alone. probably more than he meant. but it hurt

• i mean he was your first friend here, and now he yelled at you to leave you alone

• ned felt awful at first. trying to comfort you and tell you it wasnt your fault

• but then he started acting weird. whenever you brought up peter hed be super antsy about it

• you- “i think he got into another fight or something”

• ned- “pFFT PETER? FIGHTING? no way,,, i got-i gotta go”

• so you figured that whatever peter was hiding, ned knew about,, which also hurt your feelings

• so you closed off

• and wow could the super family tell something was wrong

• wanda- “little stark, i can feel your sadness all the way to my room”

• sam/bucky/rhodes- “okay what’s the deal, we’ve played 5 rounds of fortnite and you havent once rage quit even though you’re doing terrible”

• tony- “kid, what’s wrong? everyone here can tell you’re not feeling great”

• nat- “cmon. ive given you 3 opportunities to kick my ass and you havent once complained about me going easy?”

• thor- “lady y/n what is causing you distress? not once have you smiled, i even wore my hair in pigtails,,, and that seems to always do the trick”

• and you gave the same response every time “‘m just tired” “lots of homework”

• they noticed you werent going out on weekends anymore

• so tony figured that your friend group and you were having some Stuff

• pep gave him an idea of meeting his new prodigy

• now tony knew it’d be kinda sus because peter went to midtown but he figured that if the kid kept his mask on it’d be fine

• “dad i don’t wanna see another one of your weird maid robots”

• “wha- no i want you to meet someone”

• “dad college isn’t for another 2 years. if it’s your friend from MIT-“

• then right before your eyes was the insect boy that youve been admiring through the internet

• needless to say

• your jaw dripped

• “y/n meet spiderling, spiderling meet my daughter y/n stark”

• *seconds pass*

• “i uh- oH- um- sp-spidERman, h-hi. biG fan of you- your work”

• *silence*

• you- “oH dad diD you hear th-that? moM is calling mE”

• tony- “what?? pep wouldve called on the interco-“

• spiderman- “y/n”

• you- SHOOK TO THE CORE BECAUSE YOU KNEW THAT VOICE. THAT WAS THE VOICE THAT SOUNDED LIKE HONEY BUT COULD CUT YOU DEEPER THAN ANY WEAPON IN YOUR HOUSE

• you- “p-peter???”

• tony- *shocked pikachu face* “you know each other???”

• you- “so-something like that yeah”

• peter takes off his mask

• “ohmygodpeterisspiderman”

• “ohmygodyourlastnameisntsmith”

• tony- “im gonna let you guys figure this out” *walks backward slowly*

*insert silence*

• you- “so this is what you were hiding, huh?” with a cold tone

• “IM HIDING? YOU LIED ABOUT YOUR WHOLE HOME LIFE TO NED AND I”

• *yelling at each other for another minute. even though you couldnt hear what the other is saying*

• you- *yelling loudest “I DIDNT WANT YOU TO SEE ME DIFFERENTLY OKAY”

• peter- “you really thought id do that?” (heartbreaking voice)

• you- “i- once i got to know you, i knew you wouldnt but i was scared. i didn’t know how to tell you. for once in my life i had found someone my age who liked ME for ME. not for my name or money or my dad. and i didn’t want to change that. i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner”

• peter- “... i get what you mean. after ben died everyone gave me that look. except you and ned.”

• you- “why didn’t you tell me”

• peter- “everyone i love or ever cared about dies. my parents and then my uncle ben. so once i got my abilities i knew that the risk was even higher and i didn’t want to put you in that position. i wanted to keep you safe. but it seems like you know how to handle yourself” (referring to the fact that you grew up with THE EARTHS MIGHTIEST HEROS)

• y/n- “so how come ned found out?”

• peter *scratches back of neck* “well- he- i- May let him in my room and i happen to be crawling on the ceiling in my suit and he dropped the death star” *head hangs in shame*

• you had to giggle at that i mean CMON

• you stepped closer to him

• “pete you’re my best friend. you can tell me anything okay?”

• “no more secrets?”

• “no more secrets”

• and you both pinky promise and your thumbs “kiss” bc IF THEY ITS THE ULTIMATE UNBREAKABLE VOW DONT @ ME

• peter parker gives you the biggest hug that maKES YOUR HEART JUMP BC PHYSICAL CONTACT WITH A PERSON AS PRETTY AS HIM MAKES YOUR HEART FEEL A CERTAIN WAY

• but you wrapped your arms around his neck and enjoyed the moment

• wow he is really cozy

• * the avengers are watching from the cameras in awe*

• led to MANY questions at dinner

• and so everything went back to “normal”

• it wasn’t until you went to bed that night that you realized peter said the L word

• WHAT

• so much for no secrets

taglist: @silver-winter-wolf @emmmmszy @everythingaboutnothingsstuff @rexorangecouny @wishiwasanavenger @marjoherbo @nologinisoksothatsit @mindset-jupiter @hpnjrph @soup238

some favs/mutrals: @h-osterfield @starksparker @stuckonspidey @sunshinehollandd @keepingupwiththeparkers @hey-marlie @spyder-bites

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

CW: transphobia, homophobia. Also pretty long and I'm on mobile so I cant put a read more thing on it.

Ok so this is kind of a personal post so if you don't wanna hear about some of my personal drama, just scroll along. But I feel like I need to get this shit on record somewhere since I don't have the screenshots of the texts this is concerning anymore.

So a little over a year ago, I told the person who'd been my best friend, we'll call her E, since I was about 9 that I didnt want to be friends with her anymore. More on that later.

Back in senior year of high school I started thinking I might be Bi. I brought this up to E and she was super dismissive right off that bat. Saying that I wasnt, sounding like she was trying to console me. Like being Bi was this awful thing that I needed to worry about.

Well fast forward about a year and a half and I went up to my college with her so I could do new student orientation since I was starting the next semester. This is when the fact that I was Bi sort of smacked me in the face because the girl doing my orientation was super hot. I immediately knew I wouldnt be telling E that.

Fast forward to march of 2017. Its spring break. I've reconnected with my high school friends. I've never felt the need to hide my sexuality from them and they were instantly nothing but supportive of me. We never really hung out outside of school back in high school (or in elementary school either in Eric's case.) I start realizing that I've been having more fun with them then I ever did with E. And I finally had people to geek out about sciencey stuff with because E doesnt believe in science but eric LOVES science. It was nice.

Well a couple weeks after spring break me and Es mutual friend Althea asked me to drive her to the shelter so she could get her boyfriends cat fixed (it's way cheaper there then at the vet) and spent the day hanging out with her because she WAS planning to walk back there to pick up the cat afterwards and I was like "uh no. I'm not gonna make you walk across town by yourself." So I finally got to meet her boyfriend. Well that afternoon E came and picked me up to go up to the KU campus to get some more bus passes to go to our college in KC because our school was out of bus passes and didnt know when theyd get more.

Here's when I kinda started to realize I should maybe get out of this friendship. On the way to campus E starts telling me about her day at school and how "theres a girl that used to be a guy in one of my teachers other classes. It's making me uncomfortable."

Me: "that sounds like a you problem, E."

Now I knew she kind of thought that way already. She may not have said shit like that around our other friends but I had to hear it a lot. But because I'm pretty nonconfrontational and she was my only close friend outside of school and I was terrified of being alone, I usually just ignored it or politely debated her about it but generally just agreed to disagree. This was the first time I ever decided to speak up to her about it. Unfortunately I couldnt say much cuz her mom was the one driving us and i knew she agreed with everything E said.

But I'd been hanging out with althea and her boyfriend (who just so happened to be trans) all morning so suddenly having to hear E talk about how uncomfortable trans people make her got me more fired up than usual.

After this I slowly started distancing myself from her. I'd been hoping for a few years that she'd grow up and accept that not everyone is like her and try to be more open minded and accepting of people. Apparently that wasnt happening.

I stopped responding to her texts as often. I was trying to think of a way to talk to her about it but all my past friendships that fell apart, did so naturally and on a silent mutual agreement. So I was half hoping that would happen. Pretty stupid. Dont recommend. Just be straight with people.

After a few months of me only answering her texts every once in a while, she decided to start calling me multiple times a week. Often while I was at work. Sometimes from her mom and sisters phones when I wouldnt answer from her number. Idk y she thought that would work. She knows I hate talking on the phone.

I still didnt know what to say to her. I probably should've just told her I needed some space and she might've backed off for awhile so I could figure it out. But subway stressed me tf out. And i have no idea how you're supposed to end a relationship with your best friend of over 10 years.

(Also some of my other reasons for not wanting to be friends with her were specifically because of althea and I didnt want althea to get dragged into it. Unfortunately it ended up happening anyways. But basically back in highschool, if we were planning for all four of us (me, e, althea, and nikki) to get together, and nikki would have something come up, E would tell althea our get together was cancelled but would still have me come over and then made me promise not to say anything to althea about it.)

Around march or april of last year I blocked her family's numbers. This is when they started showing up at my work. The first time it happened I had a long ass line and was helping my coworker get through it before I left. Her sister came in by herself and just asked how I was doing but left pretty quick after she got her sandwich since it was busy. A couple more times they came and just parked outside like they were waiting for me to get off my shift but ended up leaving. The last time it happened E came in while I was there alone and I really didnt wanna have THAT conversation while i was at work alone and her crazy overprotective mom was out in the car waiting for her. So i made her sandwich very quickly so i could get her out as fast as I could.

I was planning on finally talking to her around the end of april but was still having trouble figuring out what to say.

Unfortunately any plan I had to let her down easy was sort of thrown out the window on may 13th of last year.

My mom texted me that morning about how she got a weird call from Es aunt. On her work phone. This is basically how that call went:

"IS THIS OLIVIAS MOM?????"

My mom, suddenly worried it's my work and something happened to me, "Yes?"

"Why isnt olivia talking to E anymore?"

"............I dont know."

So that kind of crossed a line for me. It really freaked my mom out.

I'm bad at articulating my thoughts when I'm mad or stressed out tho. So my friend Alice ended up writing out the text for me and I read through it to make sure it was ok.

Basically it said "I'm sorry but I dont think we can be friends anymore. The way you talk about the LGBT+ community makes me extremely uncomfortable, especially seeing as I am bisexual and have several friends in the community. The way you used to exclude althea from hanging out with us because you think shes annoying and then expect me to lie to her about it makes me uncomfortable. It was inappropriate to show up at my work unannounced to corner me into talking to you when I needed space. And it was even more inappropriate for your relatives to call my mom at work. I'm sorry I didnt say something sooner but I'm tired of pretending I'm ok with everything you've said over the years."

Then her mom texts me. I dont remember all of it but the gist was "you're a horrible person. E never judged you or anyone else (sure, miss "gay people are gross. I can see how conversion therapy might work." Totally isnt judging anyone and 100% cares about the lgbt+ community.) The only reason she did those things is because she was worried about you."

Then E left me a voicemail that I couldnt understand at all cuz she was crying and I felt terrible even tho everyone was telling me I shouldn't. Now I probably should've taken out the part about althea because it effectively threw my "not wanting to get althea involved" plan out the window. Honestly what really pissed me off about this next part both made me pissed at E but also at myself. E removed herself from the group chat I had with her, nikki, and althea. Blocked althea on Facebook and blocked her number. Didnt bother to explain why. I still feel terrible about this even tho althea has told me many times that it's fine and if she'd had to pick a side she wouldve picked mine. But I still felt like she at least deserved an explanation.

Alice told me to screenshot the texts. I almost didn't cuz I just wanted to forget about all this. But I did.

Anyways life moved on. Eric got a new phone and gave me his beat up galaxy s7. I stuck my s6 into a drawer and let it die and forgot about it.

Then on new years I got a call from althea. Not weird at all. She calls me every major holiday and birthday. Shes done this every year since junior year of high school.

Normal phone call at first. But then she says that her mom has been talking to E's mom. Apparently E's mom told altheas mom that I told E that althea hates her and thinks shes a terrible person and that's why E hasnt been talking to althea. Althea of course didnt believe that but wanted me know about it. This prompted me to try and charge up my old phone and get the screenshots off of it. I had it plugged in for a couple of days and it never turned back on. So that's out apparently.

That's also why I felt the need to get all of this written down. It may not be as great as having the actual screenshots but I'm bad at articulating my thoughts when confronted so I want to have something written down in case any of this comes up again.

[bythepowerof4]

bythepowerof4 hi hey hello

readmylipstick Hello, hey, hi.

bythepowerof4 haha hi hows everything

readmylipstick Not terrible, all things considered. How is your...everything?

bythepowerof4 i'd say, neutral? class sucks but damian got thrown on his ass so

bythepowerof4 well no ok also bad bc U Know so. if you wanna. talk about that. or we can not for a bit i don't mind

readmylipstick I guess I'm just worried about your feelings? Because it was really unfair for me to drop, well,  everything that I've dropped on you in the past couple months.

bythepowerof4 ok but no??? you like should tell me stuff if you want right not all at once and not when you're all out of it but . everything else is good not good cause it wasn't good stuff :/ but good that you wanted to tell me?? that's just a friend thing im not mad !!

readmylipstick You're not mad?

bythepowerof4 maybe?? i don't know i don't think so it doesn't matter the other stuff wasn't """unfair""" ok just. the other night. was a lot. idk

readmylipstick I feel like you dk, though. And if my feelings matter, than so do yours!

bythepowerof4 well yeah i guess im sorry i feel like i had things to say but i have no idea what they are lmao

bythepowerof4 that wasnt a good start huh. is there anything you really wanna say?? i wont be mad or weird or anything, promise

readmylipstick Just that like, I'm going to try and be better. Less...explosive. And I still meant a lot of what I said, but I don't want any of it to come between our friendship or make things weird.

bythepowerof4 ok well neither so thats a good start is there anything. i should be doing? or? not doing? and i mean. are you sure you meant it

readmylipstick Would it make you feel better if I said no?

readmylipstick Because it would be great if you weren't upset with me, but like beyond that there isn't really anything I can ask you to do?

readmylipstick So, just do what you think is best?? This is hard.

bythepowerof4 lmao very

bythepowerof4 maybe dont think about whatd make me feel better for a sec??

bythepowerof4 i did or didnt do something obv bc you felt like you couldnt tell me. that thing. and then got all upset

readmylipstick Oh, well...isn't that...how these things go like...I'm not supposed to...be super transparent...

readmylipstick Because the other party's feelings are an unknown!

bythepowerof4 ok if youre joking thats funny if not oh my god oh ok well. yeah

bythepowerof4 im trying to make it less unknown but this is still really hard and i hate it haha?

readmylipstick It's okay though I totally understand! I wasn't expecting you to do anything or feel a certain way, it was just a bunch of drunk blathering because alcohol eliminates my filter! Like, if I was going to breach this subject in the future I probably would have had a lot more tact!

bythepowerof4 its very much um, breached now haha so yeah. im sorry. really

readmylipstick Please don't be! My feelings are silly, and I'm sure I'll get over them! What matter most to me is our friendship, okay?

bythepowerof4 well yes that last part is definitely true but why do you keep doing that first part youre not silly i know i act like youre silly sometimes but thats not good and its not true??

readmylipstick Sure, but saying I'm silly makes it easier.

bythepowerof4 oh dude there are a lot of things that could make this easier but ive been instructed to not do like any of them :/ do i have to tell you youre valid cause i will i swear

readmylipstick Okay, okay! I'm valid! Wait, instructed? By whom?

bythepowerof4 not instructed i just got some advice which i assume is ok cause it also seems like you did the same :p

readmylipstick You can say you told Daisy, I'm not gonna freak out!

bythepowerof4 i didnt!!! i really didnt lol that wouldnt be very nice

readmylipstick Telling Nick is the same as telling Daisy...

bythepowerof4 no it isnt i had this whole talk with them about it once idk i swore him to secrecy you told ai. which is fine except for maybe sending her to talk to me lmao?

readmylipstick I didn't send her at all! I didn't even know she talked to you!

bythepowerof4 oh ok yeah i thought she might have done that herself lmao

bythepowerof4 can we get back to the important thing like how you are so valid and youre feelings matter and i think you need to maybe say them without editing based on what you think i'd say??

readmylipstick Well, I kind of already did that when I was wasted?

bythepowerof4 ok point

bythepowerof4 but feelings dont only matter when youre wasted and i think if u gotta be wasted to say important stuff, which is kind of a pattern now, thats probably

bythepowerof4 bad??

readmylipstick Well, that was an important thing but also an embarrassing thing, so it seemed natural just to keep it quiet?

bythepowerof4 but then like nothing woulda ever happened??? or like with that guy. you know. if you didnt get smashed and weepy and tell me about it would u just have kept it to yourself this whole time?

readmylipstick ...Okay, I see your point.

bythepowerof4 yeah so this was one of the things i was advised not to bring up but i think it might be important

readmylipstick I guess I could stop drinking then?

bythepowerof4 that is an option but there are lots of inbetweeny sort of options and also everything you do is entirely your choice and im not tryna like micromanage ur life!!!

readmylipstick I think there's a term for that, and it's called giving advice, right?

bythepowerof4 well yeah thats what i said!!! but apparently there is a line and apparently i like to cross it so im not gonna like tell you what to do or anything

readmylipstick Well, you don't have to tell me what to, but I think I might need some...help? To change, that is.

readmylipstick Because I don't want to keep making you uncomfortable and whatnot!

bythepowerof4 if you wanna change something cause you wanna change then i'll help you but don't do anything for my sake?? thats making me uncomfortable tbh??

readmylipstick Well, I figured it was a given that I would also be changing to avoid making a complete idiot of myself in the future!!

bythepowerof4 you dont have to though

bythepowerof4 i still like you i dont care if youre an idiot!! also youre not!!!!

readmylipstick Even if I'm not, it would have been nicer to handle rejection with a bit more grace! And, it would have made it better for the BOTH of us!

readmylipstick Is it really that bad that I'm guilty for what was an obvious and terrible screw up? Or that I'm concerned about the impact my actions have had on you? Because, I don't think so!

bythepowerof4 you handled it fine!!! i wasnt graceful either!!! the problem isnt how you handled it its how you told me cause if you told me sooner THEN it wouldve been better for both of us i think you feel guilty for the wrong thing maybe and also rejection is a very strong word can we just soften that

readmylipstick But, it's the truth! And, if I'm not allowed to outrun all my hard truths than you don't get to either! And, even if it's been as a drunk, at least I've been honest with you! Can you say the same? Like, "shrouded in mystery" is a cool look, but I feel like you've never opened up enough about yourself for ME to help YOU!

bythepowerof4 wait

bythepowerof4 no that is absolutely not fair ok just because i dont come to you with freaky magic stalker issues or weird nicholas sparks confessional shit doesnt mean im mysterious ok it just means im normal!!! and i dont need your help!!!

readmylipstick Clea!! Normal doesn't exist!!! And everyone had problems, including you!!!

readmylipstick Sure, I can be extreme. But, I can't remember you venting to be about anything that wasn't totally shallow!! And I know you' you're not a shallow person!

bythepowerof4 im totally shallow!!! and totally normal!!! i know theres the residual not normal of being here but thats not me ok???

bythepowerof4 do you seriously want me to get all big dark secret dnm on you so you can feel less guilty about doing it to me??? because i dont mind ok i promise you dont have to like, repay the favour

readmylipstick Then what would you have me be? Just some girl who cries on your shoulder?? You don't have to blow up like I have, but you could at least share a little bit?? Because, I have questions that I'm afraid to ask because I want to respect your privacy, but that also means you could be in trouble and you're hiding it! Like I was!!

bythepowerof4 of course not ok cause i like you all the time even when youre not crying on my shoulder but im also okay with you crying on my shoulder if you need to? according to some people im too ok with it which is bad but what the fuck ever i dont get in trouble and im an open fcking book and you can ask me anything go on!!! do it!!

readmylipstick Okay well I agree with whomever else you've been talking to (Nick and Daisy). You're too okay with it, especially because you're insisting that I do? Nothing?? In return??? And! If I get to ask a question! Why did you spend all that time in the math department in Spring? I know it wasn't tutoring because you definitely didn't get any better!!

bythepowerof4 im not insisting anything if i needed to cry on a shoulder then yeah sure id hit you up!!! are you calling me dumb???

readmylipstick No! I'm stating a fact!

bythepowerof4 ok well rude i was getting help ok. technically with maths

bythepowerof4 just like. personal maths and maybe getting better but it didnt work so it doesnt matter

readmylipstick Oh. I didn't even know you wanted to get better?

bythepowerof4 what?? why on earth wouldnt i

readmylipstick I don't know? I guess I figured 4D had it's perks?

bythepowerof4 what the fuck sort of perks

readmylipstick Alien senses???

bythepowerof4 not that useful, give me headaches

readmylipstick No one gets in your way on the sidewalk?

bythepowerof4 yeah cause no one wants to fucking touch me

readmylipstick So, it just sucks? All the time?

bythepowerof4 yeah pretty much. i can't just put a hat on and be normal again like some people lmao

bythepowerof4 some people are fine. you make it feel ok cause you think it's neat or whatever but i figured you were savvy enough to figure it wasn't all sunshiney all the time

readmylipstick It's not like putting on a hat just makes it go away, though! I get headaches too, actually! And, it's not like you really have let on that this is something that distresses you...hence my initial concern. But, thank you for sharing. I can't fix the problem, but at least I understand better?

bythepowerof4 well yeah you cant fix it so i didnt need to bother you about it. you getting it

readmylipstick But, I'm still glad you did! Even though I can't do anything to help now, what if one day I meet someone who can? Or at the very least, I can slip you a Tylenol when you need it?

bythepowerof4 no offence cause thats a sweet idea but its absolutely never gonna happen lmao

readmylipstick Why not? I carry around pain killers all the time!

bythepowerof4 i meant the first thing but omg youre such a girl scout thats not mean thats nice like haha i dont care if my head hurts ok its just when it makes other peoples and you cant give tylenol to every single person in the world so its easier to just ignore it when did this become about me also

readmylipstick When I decided we were going to have equality!!

bythepowerof4 itsequality.gif

readmylipstick sent a GIF

Exactly!! And your headaches matter just as much as anyone else's!

bythepowerof4 lmao nice ok but i dont need to tell you every time still lmao!! i can deal its chill and i have shared. are u happy

readmylipstick Happier than I was earlier, yes!

readmylipstick Thank you for sharing!

bythepowerof4 well that's good i guess

bythepowerof4 are we like, good?? is there anything else, while we're being all like, honest and awkward and stuff

readmylipstick Just that...what I said before doesn't change anything about what we've been through together, or anything that will happen later. It's just a thing, and I'll make it not a thing, and then everything can go back to normal!

bythepowerof4 ok. ok yeah for sure im sorry if i was mean about it. you're like you're really great!!! and i care about you a lot duh

bythepowerof4 did i make it weird again im sorry. necessary evil

readmylipstick hehe No that's not weird at all. Because, you know, ditto?

bythepowerof4 lmao yeah!! ditto ditto

bythepowerof4 just don't be embarrassed ok

readmylipstick Well, I'll do my best!

bythepowerof4 your best is absolutely good enough that was really cheesy huh

readmylipstick A little bit. But, I still appreciate it!

bythepowerof4 im glad

readmylipstick I am too!

[shaydixons]

okay that post about vilde being totally gay hit a lot of similarities with me, esp during the time when i didnt know i wasnt straight??? and i just think that its not fair how skam just pushed that away bc if i had watched the show before and it actually showed that girls can like other girls like /that/ then i prob wouldve known sooner that i was into girls romantically. skam couldve done so much tbh

hard same and it’s so upsetting!!! like does julie know how much young wlw skam fans are missing and how much she dropped the ball… like honestly people talking about how vilde is a lesbian was like the final driving force to me figuring out that i’m a lesbian. julie just doesn’t give a shit about lesbians lmao

[alparlaboratories]

im probably gonna delete this tomorrow when im not drunk or maybe not maybe ill just accept it who knows

anyway ive been basking in my own self esteem issues for a while and for once ive beent rying to make an effort to figure out what i hate about me and how to fix it and oh boy, id forgotten about a few of these things but having most of it in front of me is kinda daunting. i could talk about my amazing lack of drive to do things or my depression or anxiety or whatever, but like... i knew about those, and im doing a minimum effort to try something

but then theres the other stuff. like the fact i cant keep friends around me for long or relatiobnships or whatever. actually i think the relationship thing is the important part, ive only been in two really short, really shitty ones that honestly took more away than what they gave me. and im not gonna try to act like everything was my fault for once, those people were dicks and took advantage of me even if i sucked too. but then i started thinking and i kinda realized why

im really easy to take advantage of!! which.... yeah, it’s not great but i presume that’s what made them stick around me for a while. lets suppose that they really didnt mind my... appearance, even if i think thats bullshit, they took a bit of an interest in me and they liked using me for their shit and giving almost nothing in return, something i didnt complain about because i was too afraid they’d leave me and i suck at saying no anyways. but then they got bored like it happens, they realized i was only entertaining for a while and they went away. the first time it was me being clingy, the second time it was me being boring and a pushover, and i feel like all those things are true and come from a single flaw that is that im a fucking wimp.

im a coward, im too afraid to take risks or make the people i like mad and oh boy does that mesh well with my anger issues (it does not), which is... yeah, people like that for a while but then they realize thats all i have to offer and they fuck off. cant really blame them, i just wish they were a bit more fucking honest, maybe then i wouldve realized this sooner. not that i have any plan to fix it but at least i can put all those awful things under one flaw instead of it being a bunch of disconnected self hating moments

because yeah, thats the problem. i just dont have enough to offer, every single person i know has more stuff going for them than i do, and that kinda sucks. and its not.... a hobby thing, like, learning guitar or any of that wont help, its about my personality, its because i cant be trusted with taking decisions or being extroverted or active or outspoken or whatever, im just there. and the worst part is that every time i try to change that and actually take a decision for myself i only go halfway with it and end up making everything worse.

anyway, i realize this is just me whining to the void. im sure a lot of people would kill to have the problems i do, i just wish i could maintain a relationship, assuming i ever get one again.

ill shut up now and go back to drinking and watching lps

[survivorelara]

Episode #7: “Bon Appetite Bitch” - Dani

Merge time baby, this is where the game starts. My first job is to figure out who flipped in that last tribal, I'm betting on Loris, but if it's John I'd probably understand as well. Regardless it's disappointing because as far as "OG Tribe Lines" it's now 5v5v2, which sucks.

I think I've likely got an ok position at the moment, the real move is trying to make sure I've got an in with a lot of people, and to make sure I find myself in the majority.

Here's hoping my first tribal council doesn't turn out to be my last due to social misplays.

We merged woo, my streak of never dying premerge continues :D. However, it does feel like an early merge. There's still 12 people left, I have a strong feeling someone ain't gonna make the jury... 👀

I just noticed im the only Aquarius left woot woot. Game wise, hello, it's merge. I'm finally messaging  people, introducing myself and what not. I'll check in later to list all of the people that don't like me, but for now let's go into this hoping that I'm charismatic

Ok sooooo...... tribal did NOT go as planned but it still was good because I could’ve gone easily but drew t saved my ass because I saved his last week. we love good karma. Roxy literally forgived me without asking her to and we have merged so I don’t feel that at risk anymore. :) I just gotta keep talking to everyone so my name doesn’t get raised.

oh lord. You know idk what I’m gonna do yet Because I don’t want to work with pre friends but i don’t necessarily like my tribe either So that leaves me with loris Idk I’ll figure it out

For now, I'll do a hot or not and comments Roxy- NOT. I have to talk to her almost continuously or else she'll think we aren't allies and vote me out. (not that we are allies rn but still) Ci'ere- DECENT. He's nice but replies are sporadic and idk if he wants to work with me. Loris- HOT AS FUCK. my #1 right now, he's p cool <3 John - STEAMING? He is so nice and so cute but he seems close to purple drew. Purple Drew - LUKE WARM. Love the dude, but I am semi trying to avoid pre game friendships. Little Mix Drew- STRAIGHT FIRE. only bc of LM. in reality, more SEMI WARM. it may turn out that each side has a little mix supporter? Drachus - WHO TF KNOWS. I cannot tell if this man is playing me or not. He tells me he can't vote him out, but is that true? We havent been to tribal and he seems to be lying to me about how much he knows. If he really doesnt know all that... he seems like someone I can maybe work with. We've been loyal to the end for each other before. Just keep in mind- I'm not playing for 8th. Emma- queen? She's inactive but a great number for me. We tell each other stuff and she's just precious. Kori- challenge threat, and someone who I want to be my shield. Dani- shes so inactive bruh like what even Dylan- also inactive.

so its 5 revati, 4 auva, 3 zosma. Zosma and Auva have 2 a piece of people who I loved pregame and would consider working with. So who knows? I have a double majority, so lets not be surprised when I'm first out.

Well, I THINK I'm in an ok-ish spot. I've talked with a LOT of people, IDEALLY the next one gone is Sam just so that I can get Dani more on my side and make it clear that I wanna work with her.

I'm a little salty Altager didn't beat the basic tribe name of Orion... but I'll get over it... eventually...

In other news, I ate a burger today... it was adequate.

MERGE BABIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I'm elated to make the merge AND get to name the tribe! Like that's fucking sickening! I'm excited to see what the merge holds for me because that was a rocky pre-merge phase. Like obviously I wasted my idol, blah blah. And like I was an emotional mess like the entire way through. It sucks being the one that has to blindside people and like break hearts- but in the end, that's the way it is. I just love that I'm getting to play IN THE MERGE. Like I rarely ever do that because I am too much of a physical threat (in most ORGs) to be allowed into the merge. So I'm super glad that I get to play in the merge and I just have to put myself in a mindset where I can be carefree and not let the stress of the pre-merge weigh me down!

Well, The challenge went pretty well I think, not sure if I won or not though, we'll see.

I'm getting frustrated with Ci'ere though. Everytime we talk they take hours to respond, even when they initiate the conversation, and I respond within 4 minutes. My patience is definitely getting tested.

Well, I didn't win the challenge, I was closeish, got all the right constellations. I just kinda, didn't math correctly in calculating my Tiebreaker number... not sure what I even did to reach that number anymore.

Regardless, I just gotta keep the target off of me, get a feel for what others are thinking, and go from there. Ideally Sam or Ci'ere since Dylan who I'm still not a fan of won.

Ci'ere has been making a bit more effort with me, which has me a bit suspicious, so Sam is ideal just to make it clear to Dani that I DO wanna work with her.

What do people do when they merge? Like this concept is so foreign to me that this laziness is actually nice. Its peaceful and serene. Like my god. If this is the case, why the fuck do I not try to make the merge more often? Honestly, this revelation is so beautiful, I may ugly cry just thinking about it!

ok no offense but the conflict between dani and ci'ere seems literally so beyond fake i can't even comprehend it. maybe im wrong but like it feels so planned, like dan's funeral or smth.

also ci'ere just like formally asked to work with me which was really sweet so hi. they also spilled some tea about roxy/drew/drew2.0 and how theyve been working together without me so. yoinks. glad i won immunity because i wouldve been so lost

Man i'm finna make that bitch dani leave, im working my ass off to save ciere and get her outta here since she's HELLBENT on getting us out. No no, you don't do that. Hope you enjoy merge boot and hopefully just missing out on jury :)

So yeah, the main name floating around has been ci'ere. But the thing is, I've been talking with people and dani seems disposable to a lot of people. So i'm tryna convince the people i'm close with to vote her out instead of ci'ere. Because here's the thing, if dani survives until next vote and ci'ere leaves, she's going to be after me. What i'm saying to my crew is that if ci'ere survives, he'll be with us while dani isn't close with like anyone, she just talks to throw names out cuz she sucks at this game. so like, if people really want ci'ere out, it'd be so much easier to simply blindside him next vote if we wanted, because he'd feel so safe. Esp since im 95% sure one of those 2 have an idol, so i'm gonna try my best to either flush it from ci'ere, or blindside the fuck outta dani sending her home packing with it

suprise bitches after a boring pre merge i am actually playing the game i just need to see which side everyone is on i may use my idol to have my side be on control i could probably be first merge boot before i play yikes! also me and loris are powerful... he has the legacy advantage his mind omg

I hate this cast. Yell at me for a short confessional if ya gotta.

Deadass probably setting myself up for failure this vote with going after dani so hard but fuck it idc, didn't have a chance to get rid of her after louise had left and she told toby to get the fuck outta here, and now I do and she's going and hopefully joins him in the vl :) toby this one's for you homie, miss ya lots <3

W e l l, things have went left here at the Orion camp 😄 I woke up to Andrea & Loris letting me know that Auva 2.0 was after me & that I should play an idol if I had one. Apparently the Auvacados are getting bad vibes from me? However, Dani was the one that made a move against y’all so why am I getting getting ya knickers in a bunch? I previously started laying down the groundwork to have people turn on Miss Dani, but I decided to toss that plan out the window. Last night, Loris told me that John Coffey was the Revati that flipped last round and it’s because he’s friends with Drew H. I’m certain that the Drews, Roxy, & John have an alliance that finalized right before the merge. So that needs to be broken up right away. I went to Dylan, an OG Auva, to let him know that his old tribemates said he was on the outs and they made an alliance with Louise, Dani, & I. He seems to be interested in voting with me, and if he isn’t, then he’s a flop.

Sam called me “babe” earlier & I really cannot with this flirting strategy, but I’m not opposed to it! I guess I would consider him my final 2, but I’d say he’s playing well so I might need to cut him before that hehe.

I don’t like this back and forth running around nonsense, so I’m laying it all out on the table. I exposed the Auvacado 2.0 alliance. I hinted that I have an idol that I really don’t want to use, but I probably will just in case they think I’m bluffing & people don’t target me in the future for it. Apparently this caused people to start scrambling which I’ll have you know is my favorite type of egg. Deviled eggs are good af too 😈

Sam says that we shouldn’t go for Roxy because he has an in with Drew T. & that we should keep Dani the target because she threw out our name. Dani says that John & Kori threw out my name to her. Do I believe her? Not exactly. In the tribe chat when I asked Dani to vote for Roxy, she says that she likes her & would rather do someone else. This is a mess. So right now it’s looking like myself, Sam, Andrea, Loris, Emma, Dylan & Drew T.?

Why is everyone always going after me what the shit. Its drew t and h fault im like their fuckin scategost I jk I love them but im so annoyed why is the fall out if the shit theyfor do, gets blamed on ne when I havent dine anything loll fuck off

I love u drews tho

I knew going into the merge that I wanted Ciere out sooner rather than later; and when an alliance with Dani and kori was formed I thought I’d be able to get him out right away. Dylan won immunity which is awesome because he’s easily my favorite right now. Idk what it is about him but we just vibe really well right now. I’m not sure where I stand with old revati other than kori who asked me to be his final 2 the other day. I’m a wannabe puppet master and nobody was taking my bait to vote ciere. Well it seemed like they were until little rat decides to announce that I had an alliance with the Drew’s and Roxy. I went telling everyone the chat is barely even active and we voted together once. As of now the majority is seeming to want Dani and Kori isn’t answering aoooo idk who I’m voting for I kinda still want to do ciere cause I swore to Dani I wouldn’t vote for her, but I also don’t like her attitude all that much tonight. Same old Dani from unifinished business, but I actually was going to have her back. I’m a mess!!!!!!!!111

WELL BITCH I MIGHT BE GOING. These motherfuckers REALLY want me gone huh? WELL IM NOT GOING OUT WITHOUT A FIGHT. Roxy will rue this day. ROXY WILL RUE IT. She just fucked over her whole damn alliance.

Dani is voted out 9-2-1.