#writing relationships

[em-dash-press]

How to Write Characters With Romantic Chemistry

Writing great chemistry can be challenging. If you’re not super inspired, sometimes the connection between your characters feels like it’s missing something.

Here are a few steps you can consider when you want to write some steamy romantic chemistry and can’t figure out what’s blocking your creativity.

1. Give the Love a Name

Tropes have a bad reputation, but they can be excellent tools when you’re planning or daydreaming about a story. Giving the romance a name also assigns a purpose, which takes care of half the hard plotting work.

You can always read about love tropes to get inspired and think about which might apply to the characters or plot points you have in mind, like:

Friends to lovers

Enemies to lovers

First love

The love triangle

Stuck together

Forbidden love

Multiple chance love

Fake lovers turned soulmates

There are tooooons of other tropes in the link above, but you get the idea. Name the love you’re writing about and it will feel more concrete in your brain.

2. Develop Your Characters

You should always spend time developing your characters individually, but it’s easy to skip this part. You might jump into writing the story because you have a scene idea. Then the romance feels flat.

The good news is you can always go back and make your characters more real. Give them each their own Word or Google doc and use character templates or questions to develop them. 

You should remember to do this for every character involved in the relationship as well. Sometimes love happens between two people who live nearby and other times it happens by:

Being in a throuple

Being in a polyamorous relationship

Being the only one in love (the other person never finds out or doesn’t feel it back, ever)

There are so many other ways to experience love too. Don’t leave out anyone involved in the developing relationship or writing your story will feel like driving a car with only three inflated tires.

3. Give the Conversations Stakes

Whenever your characters get to talk, what’s at risk? This doesn’t have to always be something life changing or scary. Sometimes it might be one character risking how the other perceives them by revealing an interest or new fact about themselves.

What’s developing in each conversation? What’s being said through their body language? Are they learning if they share the same sense of humor or value the same foundational beliefs? Real-life conversations don’t always have a point, but they do in romantic stories. 

4. Remember Body Language

Body language begins long before things get sexy between your characers (if they ever do). It’s their fingertips touching under the table, the missed glance at the bus stop, the casual shoulder bump while walking down the street.

It’s flushed cheeks, a jealous heart skipping a beat, being tongue tied because one character can’t admit their feelings yet.

If a scene or conversation feels lacking, analyze what your characters are saying through their body language. It could be the thing your scene is missing.

5. Add a Few Flaws

No love story is perfect, but that doesn’t mean your characters have to experience earth shattering pain either.

Make one laugh so hard that they snort and feel embarrassed so the other can say how much they love that person’s laugh. Make miscommunication happen so they can make up or take a break. 

People grow through their flaws and mistakes. Relationships get stronger or weaker when they learn things that are different about them or that they don’t like about each other. 

6. Create Intellectual Moments

When you’re getting to know someone, you bond over the things you’re both interested in. That’s also a key part of falling in love. Have your characters fall in intellectual love by sharing those activities, talking about their favorite subjects, or raving over their passions. They could even teach each other through this moment, which could make them fall harder in love.

7. Put Them in Public Moments

You learn a lot about someone when they’re around friends, acquaintances, and strangers. The chemistry between your characters may fall flat if they’re only ever around each other.

Write scenes so they’re around more people and get to learn who they are in public. They’ll learn crucial factors like the other person’s ambition, shyness, humor, confidence, and if they’re a social butterfly or wallflower.

Will those moments make your characters be proud to stand next to each other or will it reveal something that makes them second guess everything?

8. Use Your Senses

And of course, you can never forget to use sensory details when describing the physical reaction of chemistry. Whether they’re sharing a glance or jumping into bed, the reader feels the intensity of the moment through their five senses—taste, touch, sight, sound, and smell. 

Characters also don’t have to have all five senses to be the protagonist or love interest in a romantic story. The number isn’t important—it’s how you use the ways your character interacts with the world. 

-----

Anyone can write great romantic chemistry by structuring their love story with essential elements like these. Read more romance books or short stories too! You’ll learn as you read and write future relationships more effortlessly.

[novlr]

how do i write an established married couple that are out of their honeymoon phase and now theyre just cute and comfy w/ eachother??

Established relationships, in particular, require careful consideration and development to make them feel authentic and relatable to your readers. An established relationship is one that has a history of shared experiences and a level of comfort and familiarity between the characters and can take many forms, such as long-term friendships, romantic partnerships, or even familial bonds. Writing established relationships requires a deep understanding of the characters’ backstories, the dynamics of their relationship, and how their connection influences their individual arcs.

Understand the dynamics of established relationships

Established relationships have a history and shared experiences that shape their current state.

Power dynamics, roles, and expectations within the relationship have been formed over time.

Established relationships involve a level of comfort, familiarity, and trust between the characters.

Conflicts and challenges in established relationships may be more complex and deeply rooted.

Characters in established relationships have a deeper understanding of each other’s strengths, weaknesses, and quirks.

Established relationships involve a sense of commitment, loyalty, or even obligation.

Develop their backstory

How and when did the characters first meet, and what were their initial impressions?

What significant events or experiences have the characters shared that have shaped their relationship?

How has the relationship evolved over time, and what challenges or conflicts have they faced together?

What are some of the defining moments or turning points in their relationship?

How has the way the characters have grown and changed as individuals affected their relationship?

What are some of the inside jokes, shared references, or traditions that are unique to their relationship?

Show the depth of their connection

Use dialogue to reveal the characters’ familiarity, comfort, and understanding of each other.

Show the characters engaging in shared activities or rituals that demonstrate their bond.

Describe the characters’ nonverbal communication, like knowing glances or subtle gestures.

Reveal the characters’ ability to anticipate each other’s needs, thoughts, or reactions.

Show the characters supporting, comforting, or challenging each other in meaningful ways.

Demonstrate the characters’ willingness to make sacrifices or compromises for the sake of their relationship.

Explore conflicts and challenges

Identify the underlying tensions, differences, or unresolved issues in the relationship.

Show how the characters navigate and cope with these challenges, both individually and as a pair.

Explore how external factors, such as family, work, or personal goals, can strain the relationship.

Demonstrate how the characters’ individual flaws or weaknesses can affect the relationship.

Show the characters working through conflicts, compromising, or finding solutions together.

Illustrate how the challenges and conflicts ultimately strengthen or change the relationship.

Develop character arcs

Show how the relationship influences each character’s personal growth, decisions, and actions.

Explore how the characters’ individual journeys affect the dynamics of the relationship.

Show how the characters learn from each other and inspire growth or change.

Show how the relationship evolves because of the characters’ individual development.

Illustrate how the characters’ shared experiences and challenges shape their shared future.

Reveal how the relationship ultimately supports or hinders the characters’ individual goals and desires.

Craft authentic dialogue and interactions

Use inside jokes, nicknames, or references that are specific to the relationship.

Show the characters finishing each other’s sentences or thoughts, demonstrating their deep understanding of the other.

Use subtext and implication in dialogue to reveal the characters’ unspoken feelings or concerns.

Demonstrate the characters’ ability to communicate effectively, even during conflicts or disagreements.

Show the characters engaging in playful banter or teasing that reflect their comfort with each other.

Illustrate the characters’ ability to have meaningful, vulnerable conversations that deepen their connection.

[toribookworm22]

Does anyone else go feral over almost obsessively devoted platonic relationships?

No? Just me?

[thepedanticbohemian]

There are two types of love. Practice and learn how to write both or either into your #WIP manuscript.

[thatfantasylovingdork]

A minor rant, or, How It's Okay for Hanleia to Be on the Rocks

So you know how people were upset about Han and Leia being apart in TFA?

Maybe it's because my own parents were going through a rough patch and my mom was temporarily staying in an apartment so she could figure things out...but honestly idk why anyone was upset.

Because here's why Hanleia is actually more romantic than Reylo.

What that experience with my parents taught me is that it's okay if relationships aren't perfect. That sometimes you need to be apart from someone, temporarily or not, to figure things out. That you can love people even if you're not with them or haven't seen them in a while. Sometimes things just go topsy turvy and you need time to figure it out.

(Plus idk how anyone could think Han and Leia would ever be in a problem free marriage, given how they argued in the original trilogy.)

Han and Leia were absolutely still in love with each other. You could see it written on their faces. They just needed time apart, and maybe they made some bad choices along the way, but they're absolutely still in love. And they reunited when it counted the most.

And to me, that is way more romantic than some marginally hot guy trying to kill you.

[snakies-sideblog]

The way Plague writes relationships is God tier! I don't mean this to sound like *insert generic comment here* but they're so good, so solid, so natural. It doesn't matter what kind of relationship or from what story, they don't fucking miss!

Usually, some relationships (especially romantic or even platonic) are weak, bland, bad, or toxic but not always in an enjoyable way. I bet the relationship between Kai and Becca is written good or written well. I hope to be that level someday because damn, they write good.

[the-flower-named-fire]

Acts of Betrayal

Theft

Murder

Love Affair

Ungratefulness

Physical Harm

Disobey an Order

Abandonment

Oath Breaking

Rebel Actions

Lure into a Trap

Inaction/Neutrality

Handed Over to Enemy

Illegitimization/Disownation

Usurpation/Conspiration

Stealing the Credit

Lying/Hidding Information

Don't Suppport their Actions

Take or Defend the Other Side in a Argument

Using you all Along/Manipulation

Aid Someone Considered an Enemy

The Mole/Infiltrator/Spy for the Enemy/False Friend

Information Reveal (either because they are confidential details or secrets of another person or to an specific unauthorized party)

[the-modern-typewriter]

Hi! Your writing is amazing!! Do you have any advice for writing dynamics that aren't focused on romance? I feel like every book I've read has had romance either as its central component of at least as a very big part of the plot. I've been trying to change things up a bit but they kind of seem empty. Thank you for reading!

So, obviously I don't know what you are doing instead, but...if you want a story that feels like it has the emotional punch of a romance, but you don't want a romance, you need to substitute the romantic character arcs with a platonic/familial/antagonistic arc. Basically, some other form of human connection.

You can use broadly the same formula as a romance if you like.

Savannah Gilbo identifies 6 key themes that any romance has, with some excellent case studies for deconstructing romance, here:

In short:

The Lover's Meet Scene

The First Kiss/First Intimate Moment

The Confession of Love Scene

The Lover's Break Up Scene

The Proof of Love Scene

So, from a platonic perspective, you can still have characters meet, grow closer, make some declaration of friendship/solidify the friendship, go through a fight and reaffirm how much the friendship means to them by the end. You can still have characters who change one another - making the other better or worse as a person, as they grow and learn and shift in response to their interactions.

The point is less the specific details of the scene, and more the larger shape of the relationship changing throughout the story (in a longer work - for something short you can pick a key moment you want to focus on, as an example). The reason romances have the 'will they won't they' for example is because it sustains tension when done right. It's the same reason why a traditional antagonist is nearly defeated at the midpoint/loses at the midpoint and everything gets worse, before victory is finally achieved. There is a push/pull effect.

It doesn't matter what the specific relationship is, it just has to matter to the story. Ergo. If they can't resolve their conflict, what are the consequences? What does the protagonist have to lose? This is true for sideplot character relationships too! A side plot should contribute towards the main story. You shouldn't be able to cut it out and have the main conflict play out in the same way. For example, if you have a friendship base, how does the big battle go if (after the argument they had about dealing with said conflict) the protagonist charges out to angrily defeat their enemies alone? Or if their friend doesn't show when the protagonist thinks they will?

Does this mean that all character dynamics in a long story have to change? No. But if the character dynamics between two characters do not change, then that relationship is probably not a central part of your story.

Which is fine.

Not all stories need to have a driving character dynamic. But if you are wanting the same 'feeling' as a romance and feeling like the writing is otherwise empty, it may be because you need to up the emotional stakes in another area.

(Even if it's not a relationship...what does your protagonist care about as much as the relationship in a typical romance? They need to want something bad.)

[rookthebird]

an ot3 ship dynamic i love

"i am unworthy of anything, seeking only to survive and expecting nothing from life"

&

"we need to take care of our little one"

[rightwriter]

6 Questions to ask yourself about your story!

[deardragonbook]

Writing immortals and age differences within relationships

When I was a teen, there were far too many books featuring characters that were hundreds of year old and dating teens. 

It still happens. But we’ve come to a point where many people agree this isn’t great. There’s a huge debate when it comes to age differences in media, but teenagers are generally too young to be dating immortals. 

A lot of these stories justify the age difference with the immortal having the body of a teen. Now, if they have the mind of a teen I can kind of see it, however then there’s the problem of, why even bother having them be hundreds of years old if that’s not going to play a role at all in their character? 

Personally I avoid them, kind of. 

Here’s the thing, in my own books there is a variety of species with very different life expectancy-s, some are immortal, others live for hundreds of years, some have the normal average human lifespan. 

So how do relationships work? Scratch that, how do healthy relationships work? 

Because we are allowed to write problematic relationships as long as we don’t fantasize them. 

Well, I use the life-long method of, it depends. 

Because a five year age different is not the same when talking 15 to 20 and 30 to 35. The same goes for immortality, a two hundred year age gap is completely unacceptable for an eighteen-year-old and two-hundred-and-eighteen-year-old. 

But what about a forty-year-old and two-hundred- and-forty-year-old? I allow it. Because the thing is, yes, this a complicated and layered relationship, but these are two consenting and understanding adults. It’s important there be communication about the different experiences and this relationships won’t be simple, but there’s no abuse happening here. 

A forty-year-old is capable of understanding what they’re getting into. 

The immortal character is also capable of understand their human partner won’t be around forever. 

For there me, there isn’t a number of years that makes an age gap acceptable or not. For me the youngest characters needs to be fully developed mentally, and there needs to be healthy communication. 

That isn’t to say I don’t have characters who are seven-hundred years old and refuse to date anybody under the age of five-hundred, but in their case it’s not a matter of morality, it’s about preferences. 

This character has experienced a life very different to that of a human or any other short life span species, and explaining that type of life can be difficult, hard work. They prefer to date people who share similar experiences. 

I have a variety of characters with a variety of relationship preferences and their own personal rules. But this is how I handle age-gaps.

I hope you found this interesting and I would love to hear if you have a different opinion! 

If you want to check out my books, free to read stories or other social medias you can check out my author website. I also have a discord for my book series where I’m open to talk about writing, publishing and books in general so if you’d like to reach out me join my discord!

My third book will be going into beta reading soon so if that something you’re interesting in, stay tuned! 

Have fun writing!

[theprissythumbelina]

Songs and Ships Tag

Rules: write about two to five songs from them that represent your a ship between your ocs (it can be platonic or romantic or a secret third thing). then add a quote from said wip (if possible!) underneath it.

I was tagged by @pheita, thank you! Now, my first instinct was Nicolette and Alyss, but I don't have their romantic relationship well felt-out, so instead I am going to do Nicolette and Daisy. In the interest of a little backstory, Daisy was Nicolette's first friend and first love. She was there for Nicolette all through their school years, she was there when her mother died, but they broke up when Nicolette became obsessed with getting her mother back.

So, songs!

Chocolate - The 1975

Now run, run away from the boys in blue Oh, my car smells like chocolate Hey now, I think about what to do I think about what to say I think about how to think Pause it, play it, pause it, play it, pause it Oh, we go where nobody know With guns hidden under our petticoat No, we're never gonna quit it No, we're never gonna quit it, no Yeah, we're dressed in black from head to toe We got guns hidden under our petticoat No, we're never gonna quit it No, we're never gonna quit it, no

Just a Dream - Nelly

I'm going through it every time that I'm alone And now I'm missing, wishing she'd pick up the phone But she made the decision that she wanted to move on 'Cause I was wrong I was thinking 'bout her, thinking 'bout me Thinking 'bout us, what we gon' be Open my eyes yeah, it was only just a dream So I travelled back down that road Will she come back? No one knows I realize, yeah, it was only just a dream If you ever loved somebody put your hands up If you ever loved somebody put your hands up And now they're gone and you're wishing you could give them everything

Gravity - Against the Current

You left me out there with no one but myself In an open field for lightning to strike me down I was the moon, you were the sun I can't seem to shine now that you're gone You ran out of orbit cause you left with no word Are you somewhere better now? Can you save me now? I get lost up in the clouds Can you save me now? You were my gravity Can you save me now? When the ground drops out I get lost in the clouds Save me now? You were my gravity Now my world is shattering

Now for a snippet

Daisy set Nicolette up at her small table with coffee in her hands. Nicolette couldn't tear her eyes from what remained of her mother. Her hands had always been firm, tough, cracked but loving. Those hands now clenched at empty air, ashen. She had always had such nice eyes, eyes that Nicolette hadn't inherited. Eyes that flicked back and forth in an empty gaze. Nicolette considered that she should have felt horrified. That was the correct reaction. Facing the corpse of the one person that had ever loved her should have been horrifying.  Nicolette didn't feel a thing. She just watched, unable to look away. Just watched and felt nothing. Daisy reached over and nudged the mug in her hands. When Nicolette didn’t move, she brushed a tangle of hair off her shoulder. Nicolette felt nothing, and it was a relief.  "Why'd you do it," She asked, not for the first time. Nicolette didn't magically have a better answer this time, so she said nothing.  It was done. Did it even really matter? She had done it.

Tagging @autumnalwalker @talesofsorrowandofruin @athenswrites @italiangothicwriteblr @words-after-midnight

[toribookworm22]

Sibling relationships like: I tried to protect you until it made you angry so I tried to let you go but that just made you angrier and no matter how hard I try to hold back on there's too much anger now but I love you and I know you love me and you know I'm not angry right you deserve to be angry please only be angry at me and never at yourself love I love you I love you I love you I'll hold your bloody knuckles in my hands as long as you'll let me

[anamelessfool]

Opposites attract, but Shared Core Principles endure.

Cut because of slight spoilers to my fics as I think about this idea

I was thinking about this during the OC asks thing I'm answering. Opposites attract but Shared Core Principles endure. Deep down, the most successful pairings have principles that resonate no matter how outwardly different the couple appears.

This is more than surface level likes and dislikes. This is the core of their Will. It's the heart of their worldview. It's how they operate and navigate problems.

Copia x Marian

C: anxious, homebody, easily flustered

M: adventurous, defiant, unflappable, guarded

Shared Principles: Methodical, Task-oriented, efficient

Secondo x Sandra

Se: Steely, Stoic, Workaholic, Gloomy, Principled

Sa: Bubbly, cheerful, rebellious, jokey

Shared Principles: Intellectual, Nuturing, Sarcastic

Terzo x Omega

T: Emotional, artistic, cluttered, mercurial

O: Even-keeled, inquisitive, guarded

Shared Principles: Adventurous, Self-Reliant

Primo x Jocasta

See......I'm writing them and to be perfectly honest, j don't think their relationship would endure 10, 20 years like the other ones. They don't necessarily have shared Principles. It's pretty clear Jocasta is not in the future, you will have to see what happens.

(if anything the two that would actually go the distance are Primo and Edelweiss Ghoul......)

[luna--the--moth]

It is crazy to me that holding someone's hand and them stroking your fingers can be literally one of the most intimate and intense experiences 💖

Like, when the attraction is there and the tension is built up to the point where you keep HOPING that your hands will touch and you will have an excuse to slip your hand into theirs without it being awkward. And then it finally happens, they take your hand and whisper, "is this okay?" And it just feels so perfect and the tension feels so much higher now because you know your feelings are reciprocated and they WANT to be close to you! And then all it takes is a gentle stroke of their thumb across yours and it's like your entire body is electrified and your heart is melting into that small touch

[ellesliterarycorner]

Writing Breakups: The Seven Stages of Playing Sour on Repeat

Today’s topic is BREAKUPS!!!!!  I actually enjoy writing breakups even though ask anyone I know and I hate living through them. I was once so scared to break up with a guy that I definitely needed to break up with that my friends hid in the costume closest where I broke up with him to make sure I went through with it. After I broke up with him, they popped out of their hiding spots, hugged me and congratulated me. It was awesome... Anyways, breakups are normally not very fun even when they need to happen, and even for those who claim they are extremely prepared, they can cause a whole lot of heartache. Real talk though if I had had the Sour album during my last break up, it would have changed the game. So many songs on that album are so good for post-breakup feels, and they can actually help inspire you and give you and idea on how to write breakups because they can be hard, especially for those who haven’t been through one before.

First off there’s normally two different sides of break-ups: 

One Sided Breakups:  Like the scene in Legally Blonde where Warner dumps by namesake, Elle. In most cases, one partner has fallen out of love, and the other partner could feel blindsided by the breakups. These breakups often sting the most. Unfortunately, they also sometimes lead to toxic situations. Rebuffed lovers who don’t take break ups or other forms of rejections well are unfortunately very common. 

Mutual Breakups: Sometimes, you just know. You might really like someone as a person, but when you try to become more than friends, it just doesn’t work out, and you both realize that it’ll be better for your relationship to just be friends. Other times couples may take a planned break and realize while on the break they’re better separate than they are together. It’s a myth that mutual breakups don’t hurt at all. Even if you both agree that you guys needs to break up, it can still hurt a lot. 

It’s Not You, It’s Me

If someone said that to me, I would literally just spontaneously combust and die. I can’t imagine actually saying that to someone. I feel like if someone says that to you, then you absolutely know it’s definitely you. Anyways, make sure that your characters have a semi-good reason for breaking up with each other. Does one partner want to protect their significant other from the Big Bad? Are the couple too dissimilar to coexist with one another? Have they simply grown up and grown apart? Has the final decision come in the infamous love triangle leaving one partner left behind? There are a lot of different reasons and motivations for a break-up, but establishing these reasons clearly beforehand will definitely help you when you start to write the scene, so you know how the characters will react differently during the scene. Also, ensuring that there are clear reasons supported by the story will help ease the burden on your readers. Understanding why the couple breaks up, makes it a little less sad when the fan-favorite couple breaks up even if it is temporarily. To achieve this, I would recommend writing out the couples motivations and goals going into the scene (even if one party doesn’t know they’re being broken up with).

Breakups in the Costume Closest

As I mentioned earlier, I once broke up with a guy in a costume closest at school. I definitely was not a good person for breaking up with him in the middle of the school day, but I couldn’t wait, and I needed a nice secluded environment, so costume closest. The setting of the break-up will have big impact on how both parties react to it and could either amplify or mollify your characters feelings. I mentioned Legally Blonde before because I love that movie and because that’s a really iconic breakup scene. It provides good characterization: Warner being a terrible, cowardly, person and Elle being a little over the top. But, the location not only adds to the relative comedy of the scene, but it also enhances the reactions of the characters. Warner is desperately trying to get Elle to calm down because they’re in a very public place, and he is obviously embarrassed by her loud reaction to the break-up. If the couple breaks up in the place where they first met, say, that could add a lot of emotion to an already emotionally-charged situation. On this note, unless you are specifically driving home the point that a character is a terrible person make sure the characters are having this scene face to face. Just as I would never want someone to say “it’s not you, it’s me” I would also never want someone go breakup with you via text message.

One Pint of the Tonight Dough, Please!

I’m not the biggest ice cream fan, but ice cream after a break-up is definitely the stereotypical movie thing. I personally prefer chicken pot-stickers and Dove dark chocolate, but to each their own. The aftermath of a break-up is almost as important as the break-up itself. Breakups are a major event in a character’s life even if it’s a mutual breakup or they were the one doing the breaking of up. Showing how your character reacts to a breakup can be great way to show characterization, especially their resilience, for example after getting dumped Elle Woods gets into Harvard Law School and becomes valedictorian. How does your character react? Do they feel free after ending a toxic relationship? Do they cope with the help of their friends and play Sour on repeat in an epic post-breakup jam session? Do they cry or fall into a deep depression? Are they calm and composed or react violently with physical/verbal abuse aimed at the ex? Especially in the case of Legally Blonde, we’re invested in the story because we see how deeply the break-up affects Elle, and how it leads to her overall growth as a character and as a person.