#y’all just want to look good and hate the jews | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pettytiredandjewish · 4 months

Note

It's bloodthirsty genocidal hypocrite "Jews" like you that give the rest of us a bad name. If literal Holocaust survivors are condemning Israel and you're not than you're no better than our ancestors' oppressors

Oh wow- my first openly antisemitic ask (that’s not anonymous) I’m so honored! I would usually be kind when putting ass hats like you in your place but I’m exhausted, now having my first mug of coffee, and I just got done with working a long ‘hell’ shift at work… you’re probably gonna regret poking the wolf and making this post 🙂

- I’m pretty sure other jews on this hell hole of a site have been telling fuckers like you to leave the holocaust survivors alone when it comes to the i/p conflict. Yes they have their own beliefs/opinions/thoughts on the I/p conflict-just like every Jew out there. So for the love of g-d stop bringing the holocaust survivors topic up. Cuz y’all know what? Everyone has their own different opinions/views/ thoughts about the I/p conflict. I’m not gonna talk more about this but if anyone wants to talk about it go for it.

-since you little ass hat decided to bring up the holocaust, let me just tell y’all something. If my great grandparents didn’t escape Germany, they would have been captured and k*lled. But they escaped, sadly my other relatives over there did not leave in time and was sent off to the camps and most of them were k*lled. To this day my mom’s side of the family is still dealing with the trauma that came afterwards.

-I’m assuming you’re an anti Zionist person or you’re masquerading as a Jew. Calling other jews bloodthirsty and genocidal is fucked up and super antisemitic. And the fact that you openly said that was not super smart of you. It makes you look like a fucking fool and an ass. Also saying that I’m no better than our ancestors oppressors? Not really original and that’s also fucked up. Honey let me tell you something- i come from a long line of survivors and fighters. My Israeli and Jewish ancestors/family survived so many horrible massacres/pogroms/displacements/and the Shoah. If they didn’t keep fighting and surviving, none of us would be here. I’m also Native American (not gonna tell you my tribes cuz it’s not your business) but my ancestors/family survived the trail of tears, being slaughtered by colonizers, and being kidnapped and sent to the boarding schools. We fought and survived. Are we still facing the trauma- yes. Trauma that hasn’t been properly handled can really fuck you up and it can be passed down to new generations. It causes so many issues and problems- especially if you ignore the trauma. I’ve seen things that no one should have to see or deal with…so don’t you ever say that I’m like my ancestors oppressors cuz I’ll tell y’all something- I’m making my ancestors oppressors roll in their graves for just being alive, while all my ancestors are cheering me on. Have fun when others call your ass out 🙂

- no you got it wrong. Every Jew has been affected by the i/p conflict in some way. It’s people like you (cuz i really don’t know if you’re Jewish- you claim to be but you’re words says otherwise) that is using this conflict to blame “Zionist” (which let’s be honest y’all- we all know that they use Zionist as a code word for Jews) for everything that’s been happening. Anti Zionist people will parade around and say that they’re the “good jews” and that they’re not the evil ones- it’s those “Zionists” other there that are the evil ones (This type of thinking is really fucked up). Y’all follow the pro Palestine crowd hoping that they won’t think that you’re the “bad guy” and will even participate in antisemitic shit: Harassing random jews in street or online, surrounding synagogues, college campus buildings or hospitals chanting genocidal slogans, etc…but honey let me tell ya something- most of the pro-pal people hates jews. It doesn’t matter if you’re anti Zionist or Zionist. They don’t see the difference. They will continue to blame us for everything. I hate to break it to ya but it’s the truth. We all have been warning y’all but you guys don’t listen.

I said what I said and if you don’t like it well I don’t give a flying fuck 🙂 (I have no more fucks to give)

Am yisrael chai! ✡️

#jumblr #antisemitism #am yisrael chai #jewish and proud #leftist antisemitism #anti zionism = antisemitism #y’all are really crazy #fuck antisemitism #i’m so tired #i said what i said #zero fucks to give #don’t poke the wolf

18 notes · View notes

josiebelladonna · 8 months

Text

i’ve been thinking about this for a few weeks now.

i think i’m going to take 2024 off from here. i think it’ll just be on main (i.e., my art blog nuagederose as well as feverinfeveroutfic and my healing blog theghostandthehealer will all remain active): i throw it out there every now and again (read: whenever tumblr introduces a garbage new feature), but i really think i’m going to commit to it.

i hate the overall attitude on here now, people on here acting like they’re better than everyone who doesn’t have a tumblr, you and your precious ~mutuals~. i remember the rampant irony about it all around here in 2013-2015, but everyone is so deadly serious now and it honestly sucks, like… give me something fun, anything, PLEASE. y’all are KILLING ME. and… you know. i’m not jewish. but the antisemitism around here is honestly flooring to me—it’s kind of what i get for lurking around jumblr, but it’s interesting to see what we non-jews don’t: it makes you go, “oh. OH. really? well, i’ll be damned, i’ll take your word for it, unknown friend.” in my opinion, after reading about israel and palestine some 6 or 7 times, you can’t be like “happy hanukkah” and then turn around and say you want to see israel destroyed, like… no. say “it’s complex and nuanced” all you want, it not only doesn’t make it any more true, but… if you ask me, it actually isn’t. i don’t want to be around a place filled with people who talk out of both sides of their mouths, be it about the jews, the palestinians, ukraine, animals, art, or really… anything. the takes on here honestly suck, like there’s no substance to any discussion and i can’t tell you the last time i saw a take that really made me think. and worse? none of it would be half as bad if no one prided themselves in this. why do you think we’re failing as a society (aside from everything around us failing as well)? i’m surrounded by idiots—mean idiots, too, like so many of you are almost bullies about it—and you guys are doing bupkis to save yourselves.

i can’t go through any tag anymore without seeing stranger things (which i kind of hate now), our flag means death (which i LOVE, but i’ll see it in a tag about autumn and i’m like why), good omens (which i don’t get the appeal of), or supernatural (which… i’m sorry. i have never understood the appeal of this show—whereas i adore sherlock and doctor who, so rest your sphincters, ghosts of superwholock). the only tags that don’t have those four are the lower tier thrash tags, any tags about food or baking, and pokemon if you can believe that: seriously, not even the cartoon tags are safe. the thrash tags are quieter than a graveyard, i have no idea what to do with food porn, and fuuuuck, it’s been a while, pokemon, should we catch up? it’s exhausting.

kinktober this year killed kinktober for me. congrats, nickybloodhead, i hope you’re satisfied with yourself as everyone has inexplicably kissed your ass and disregarded someone who’s actually kinky and made her feel so terrible about herself that she deleted her collection and wrote a horror story instead. i hope you’re happy, you now have blood on your hands.

my weight loss is bringing forth some really intense feelings (look no further than goretober; i made those drawings right as i was starting to lose), and i’ve said this before, too: i know i’m not welcome here or on ao3, anyway. i know no one likes me. i’ll just finish my wips and go, and you won’t ever have to see me again.

i have no idea what 2024 holds, anyway—and i’m a little wary of leap years now, especially after the last three have been particularly brutal. 2020, the infamous year of disease, fire, riots, and a boring white girl who clowned me and pretty much killed my career; 2016 was one loss after another and the never-ending election cycle hyped to the moon that did not end well; and 2012 was just a lonely year for me. 2024 could be the year that finally takes me out for all i know.

so… i think it’s just best to be away from the main channel and stay down low for the year. i’ll still be on instagram (badmotorartist) and *gasp* threads (badmotorartist as well), and like i said, the side blogs will be active still.

4 notes · View notes

quakerjoe · 4 years

Text

LAST CALL ON FACEBOOK

I’m done. I’ve had it with Facebook, so fuck this shit; I’m out. Here’s the final publication...

THE LAST CUPPA JOE SERVED ON FACEBOOK: TUESDAY 10 MARCH 2020

Perhaps you’ve noticed that it’s been quiet around here despite all the political excitement. If you’ve guessed “He’s in facebook jail again”, you’d be right. Being put in a childish “time out” because I pissed off someone who came to MY page uninvited is the name of today’s game, and I’m done with it. I already lost the original Quaker Joe page with well over 10,000 followers without an opportunity to say good-bye, so I’m doing so here and now to you all and to share some final thoughts about what I’ve learned about America, its people, and the political process in a collection of simple, straightforward observations. Here it goes.

First, it has become abundantly clear that America simply does NOT want to make this “a more perfect union” as prescribed in the Constitution that everyone claims to hold so dear. My whole life I’ve watched the GOP sink the economy and destroy civil rights and worker & environmental protections while making massive money grabs. While doing so, they’ve enacted shit laws to benefit the rich while screwing “the help”, meaning YOU in general.

This brings me to “Democrats are feckless” and suck-ass at delivering a clear message or any sort of show of strength. While they’re busy trying to clean up the mess left by the GOP every turn of the tide, the GOP points at them and they shout “Look at the mess the Dems are responsible for!” and Dems say nothing. Civility, I guess. It only goes so far before you get the reputation for being wimps. You know, like today.

Democrats are yesterday’s Republicans. They’re scared, angry and afraid of taking chances. Bold leaders like Bernie Sanders want to bring us ALL to a new, all-time high. Democrats are now his #1 enemy, trying to tear an honest man down. “He hasn’t accomplished anything” the same way Jesus didn’t in the N.T. No, I’m not comparing the two, but it’s funny how a “Christian Nation” isn’t rallying behind a Jew who is a former carpenter and is trying to lead a movement to tend to the poor and heal the sick. Fuck, Bernie could walk on water and turn water into wine all while bringing a dead man back to life and the Dems AND GOPers would still shit on him.

Liz Warren. She’s a brand. Granted, her brand is taking a royal shit on the rich and powerful by calling them out on their bullshit, and she used to be a hero to me, but we’ve got to face it- she ignored the call in 2016 when Bernie urged her to run for POTUS. She was either afraid of Clinton or she was playing the “But I’m A Woman” card and secretly wanted to back HRC. Either way, Warren was out for Warren, not a Progressive agenda and clearly wasn’t behind the cause. When Sanders picked up the torch for the Progressive Cause, she fucked him over and backed HRC, all while calling herself a Progressive. Again, she saw HRC as the inevitable victor and ponied up with her, probably hoping for a cabinet position. She’s doing it now, only more cautiously. This round, however, she thought it smart to shit all over Sanders EARLY in the game and when she did it cost her and her campaign tanked. She’s dropped out. So why hasn’t she openly endorsed Sanders, a fellow Progressive? She won’t. She’s waiting to throw in with Biden after the Primaries and we ALL know it. She’s no champion of the Progressive cause. She’s a brand and she’s looking out for her own ass and nothing more. She’s fallen from grace, if she ever truly had some. She WAS GOP before and clearly nothing’s changed much.

Biden. Fuck me, are we seriously considering fronting this next generation “W”? Why not just hand the election to trump now and get it over with. 2016 all over again. He’s already lining up his potential cabinet with Wall St. tycoons, and has OPENLY admitted that he’s going to slash Social Security (even though the Fed. OWES it a fuck-tonne of payback from all the times it has dipped into YOUR paid-in benefits) and Medicaid/Medicare, but do Americans find this a threat? With typical GOP mentality on BOTH sides of the aisle, it’s only a threat when a Dem. wants to do it, but if the GOP tries, well then it’s all good and fine. Biden is a fucking REPUBLICAN. Just because he CLAIMS to be a Dem, it doesn’t make him so. He’s racist, and twats like Kamala backing him already after the whole “I was that little girl” jab in the debates only shows that she’s not for “We the People” but her own ass. Shocker.

I could go through the list of formerly anti-Biden hypocrites who’ve jumped on board to support Biden and shit on Sanders. All the moneylenders are organizing and ganging up on the ONE true delegate trying to save YOU and not the RICH. Again, this is a CLEAR example of how America doesn’t WANT to be saved.

This has taught me that Americans are not only deluded and hypocritical, as a people in general, but that they seem to LOVE being put into position of strife and misery. It’s where they’re the happiest; embracing the stupidity and ignorance instead of trying to find a way to make us ALL safer, healthier, and happier. Americans HATE being happy with the “others” are happy too. Instead of reaching down to help a fellow American up, it’s the “American Way” to punch down and blame the poor and powerless for their own failings while the rich at the top keep pissing and shitting down on them all while making money grabs.

Next, there’s all this infantile bullshit about “Bernie Bros”. Seriously, shut the fuck up. Hypocrisy in action, yet again is what this is. I’ve found in my personal experience that if I call out another Dem on their bullshit, I’m labeled a “BB”. No matter how you try to point out how Pelosi’s asleep at the wheel or Schumer’s a babbling idiot or how Biden’s a declining fuckwit who can’t string words together and that trump will eat him alive on the debates if he’s the nominee, because I back Sanders, I AM THE ONE getting labeled. The media and the fuckwits out there who are tender little snowflakes who can’t handle criticism or having dirt on their picks dug up and called out cry and cry and cry until someone puts an admin in FB jail for days or even weeks or months.

So to them I say- “Fuck ALL y’all!” I’m done here. Cry me a river because I’m sailing off of Facebook and leaving you all with this cesspool of social mania run by a cunt who backs trump. It’s bad enough knowing that the game is rigged when electing who’ll be our nominee in the Dem. party, but it’s fucking stupid trying to fight the battle here on social media when there are thousands of people following who don’t have a problem with my postings, the description WARNS that I cuss here, yet it only takes one or two fucktards to shut down your page. Fuck this bullshit. I’ve got better shit to do, and my posts on other platforms like Tumblr and even Twitter never get me blocked or locked out. Childish as this whole notion of social media is, at least virtually every other platform is infinitely less riddled with whingers, bitchers and cry-babies who can’t take the heat and instead of clicking to go elsewhere they feel the need to fuck up a page. Enough is enough.

So for those of you who’ve even made it this far and still want to follow me, you can find me on Tumblr, a much more grown-up platform, here at https://quakerjoe.tumblr.com/. If you’re into Twitter (yuck) I’m there too for who knows what reason. https://twitter.com/QuakerJoe2020 will get you to me. I hope to see you all at one of those places. It’s been a real adventure and learning experience, but all I’ve learned is that America is a dirty, filthy nation with a dark and sinister past that it refuses to acknowledge and accept, let alone apologize for because admitting that you’re wrong is UNAMERICAN. Trying to do some form of penance is considered weakness, and turning to truth instead of lies and deceits only leads to the revelation that you’re all up to your eyeballs in selfishness, racism, misogyny, all sorts of phobias, and that you’re only happy as a nation in general when you’re literally given the liberty to tear each others throats out legally.

Good-bye, Facebook. I hope you ALL get a chance to get the fuck out and perhaps regain some sanity one day because if there’s one thing that trumplefuckstick did that was good, it was that he took off the covers and the gilded paint and showed us all what Americans REALLY are, it we’re not pretty.

-Quaker Joe

11 notes · View notes

ask-jumblr · 4 years

Text

Thank you so much to everyone who’s been constructive.

Both commenters, and the anons below who were open about what they’re struggling with. Since all of the asks were either hateful, or seemed to be addressed at me, the mod, I’m going to handle them.

Before you get too upset that I didn’t give all y’all equal chance to answer: I’m encouraging the anons to send in some asks dealing with the issues they’re mentioning, formatted in such a way that it’s easier for jumblr as a whole to constructively help. Based on their current asks, I can only ask questions about what they practically need.

Because I’ll be addressing the asks chronologically and the constructive asks come later, I’m going to put it all below the cut. If you don’t have energy today, don’t click through. Even the constructive stuff is heavy.

Here were the first two anon’s received:

Isn't Orthodox just exclusionary extremism? Aren't those the homophobes and transphobes who think you shouldn't be allowed to marry a non-Jew? Why aren't we staying focused on reform/recon Judaism?

It’s okay not to know things, although the assumption was a little harsh so I didn’t want to post it directly. In response I made a myth-busting post. Yes, it is American-centric, but here’s why: I can be pretty darn sure anon is American, or at least North American.

Given that you’re upset about intermarriage, you’re probably not Israeli. Given that the U.S. has the largest diaspora population, anon is likely American. Given that anon is referencing “Reform” Judaism as an alternative, they’re probably not in Britain (”Liberal Judaism”) or outside U.S./Britain/Canada/Israel (”Progressive Judaism” everywhere else).

Realistically speaking, I can’t call up every community everywhere. As an American coming out of a mediocre, Anglo-centric education system, I can only speak one other language with any competence and blurt a few words of a few more. If you want to know about a community in a specific place then please, please ask. There have been folks on here asking about communities all sorts of places who have gotten answers here. Jewish geography + the internet is amazing! When anon is American, with misconceptions about American Jews I’m going to assume such.

Orthodox Jews should probably stop existing.

This ask is hateful and non-constructive. Hence the threat to block.

After this, I got some anons who are getting at some problems that we can really work on. They aren’t American, so I’ve assumed they aren’t the first anon.

hey if your responses and views could stop portraying us jewery as being the only way things are done and that we somehow all have access to the stuff you do, that would be grand

(cont) or where there zero chance of finding a group of that community that'll accept me and not treat me in hateful ways. I'm sorry that Jewery outside the US/NA is that unfamiliar to you and that our viewpoints and experiences makes you uncomfortable but I guess that's the way US Jews deal with Jewish "outsiders".

I’m going to start with part 1 to stay in order even though part 2 is what gets me antsy to help ya. You’re right. I don’t have a ton of experience with non-U.S. Jewery. That’s why I tag thoroughly and encourage folks who don’t know the answer to signal boost. If you’re specific, someone else on jumblr can help you.

When anon asks are vague and, as they often do, reference U.S./North American terms for branches (”reform” rather than “liberal” or “progressive”), I’m going assume the anon us in the U.S. or greater North America. Most other respondents likely will too. Anon askers who want otherwise need to use terms that are more globally (”progressive”) or locally (”liberal”) appropriate, or give a little more locational information (e.g. city, country, region). Re-my new explanation above about American-centrism. I respect that you didn’t have the benefit of seeing the language in that ask, but I’m here to help you as much as I can without superfluously emailing every rabbi in every country for another anon who’s linguistically and statistically likely to be in New Jersey or Ohio or somewhere else in the U.S..

Now for part 2 (after “(cont)”), your concerns. (Getting something out of the way: Since you’re saying “Jewish “outsiders”” I’m going to assume you’re Jewish. However, many people reading this might not be; this audience has a lot of prospective converts. I want to point out that prospective converts aren’t entitled to conversion via any particular community. I might personally be dismayed, but it’s that community’s prerogative. Getting that community to a place where people who are already Jewish who are LGBTQ, have disabilities, etc. are accepted is going to be my priority if I were to harangue a community that’s not my own. In other words, people like anon. On that note...) I received another ask with a concern similar to part 2, by someone in a similar situation as a Jewish person under the LGBTQ umbrella whose only option is a community that won’t accept them. I’d like to answer these together. Here’s that second ask:

Not your first anon but there's no non-homophobic Orthodox community where I live. I live in Europe and maybe it is different in the US but the Orthodox communities here do NOT accept lgbt+ people. Or if they do it is under the "don't ask, don't tell" form of homophobia where you're accepted as long as you don't display it publicly or ask them to treat you as an equal in any way. So sorry for not feeling endeared to a group that have always hated me.

This means we’ve got a heck of a problem. There are Jewish people who don’t have a community and need one. Y’all (You all) don’t know me irl, but making sure Jewish people who want Jewish communities have Jewish communities is something I’m very big on. I’ve gotten some flack for being too welcoming or too focused on making sure synagogues are welcoming. I want you to know that we want you here. Unfortunately you aren’t close enough for me to personally offer you that hug.

You see, I’m a U.S. Jew, but I’m not one from a place like New York City where there’s a wealth of Jewish community options. (hint: #SouthernJews #ShalomY’all) I know those people near me who feel forgotten, ignored, scoffed at, or unvalued don’t always have another option (or that it’s a loooong drive and lots of gas money away). I am someone who has had to put in the work to build the community she wants and needs, and a community that is welcoming for the people she cares about.

Putting aside the extent to which I’ve had to patch up my own education while trying to make sure others aren’t on their own doing it, I’ve also had an obstacle you’ll find more relatable. I know it’s not obvious, I’m also under that LGBTQ umbrella (sexuality, not really gender from my current self-understanding). I’m largely closeted irl because being Jewish makes me enough of a target and is harder to hide. I don’t discuss it much on the internet because I don’t want #woke #discourse about myself as I figure out my own identity, and don’t want my own processing (yay for internalized -isms!) to hurt someone else. It’s fine that you didn’t know, but I want you to know now so that you can understand my experience:

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend in Israel who’s had to make community choices too. My friend (who is also under that umbrella) convinced me that I should go to a shul with a rabbi who was openly homophobic in the past because it’ll be the best balance between programming that meets my needs (adult learning! services!) and driving distance. The rabbi stopped being openly homophobic, so I know I can be in that community. But it’s not exactly my dream. I don’t plan on relying on that rabbi for psak or life-cycle events--at least not until I know more. Then again, I’m lucky. I’m lucky in that there are rabbis I feel comfortable getting psak from who speak my native language. I’m lucky that I know enough to know that a non-rabbi can officiate a commitment ceremony (and actually a Jewish wedding too...), and that I’m from a well-connected extended-family that is friends with rabbis elsewhere (whoot! Jewish geography!) who would happily come in to officiate for me (though it might be costly and they might only do commitment rather than marriage). And I’m lucky that my extended family would be supportive enough to do so for me (they’d be getting eager enough for me to marry anyone...). I’m also lucky in that I could drive even farther and hit a Reform community that’s been more accepting for much longer. It doesn’t have the resources or programming I need, but I would have hypothetical access to a place with other Jews that has gender-neutral bathrooms and a rabbi who hasn’t said anything (recorded) that’s unaffirming of my existence.

But what about people who don’t have access to an alternate community? Or for whom that other community is even father from being a good fit? With work, it is possible to make change. Do you know why that shul’s rabbi stopped being openly homophobic? Maybe compassion. But there was an outside trend too: the community shifted away from homophobia to embrace its LGBTQ members, and he was forced to follow. It’s quite likely that movement stances and responsum helped, but community organizing, changing minds one-at-a-time, those were definitely pieces of the puzzle.

I want this blog to be here for you in figuring out how to make those changes. I began an initiative on here called Tikkunity. It’s a goofy name for an important mission: help people find strategies to make their communities more vibrant, more welcoming, more supportive, more accessible, more whatever someone needs. The ones I’ve put out so far aren’t as heavy as your topic, but Tikkunity is also here for what you’re looking for. I’ve gotten in touch with some other blogs about topics that are less obvious for communities, and a bit heavier too. If either of y’all feels comfortable messaging me from off anon (just make a side-blog with a random url), I’d love to draft a post with you. Alternately, if you send something constructive and specific enough such as “I only have one choice of community and I don’t feel safe or accepted there as a [insert LGBTQ identity/ies] person. How can I make my community more accepting of [my existence/my partnership/my pronouns/etc.]? FOR: Orthodox and [LGBTQ accepting/affirming/or other word or phrase of your choice that describes people who would be in-line with your goal]” or “ I only have one choice of community (there aren’t many Jewish people near me) and I don’t feel safe or accepted there as a [insert LGBTQ identity/ies] person. Does anyone have recommendations of what to do and tools to help me do Jewish stuff to do without the big community? How can I find people from that community willing to join me so it isn’t as lonely?” then I can post it off the bat

As much as I’m not letting askers generalize Orthodox Jews as individually homophobic/transphobic, the U.S. isn’t a utopia for LGBTQ [Orthodox] Jews looking for communities. “Don’t ask don’t tell” is how many U.S. Orthodox communities function. You’ll notice that the Orthodox LGBTQ-acceptance group I linked (Eshel) is an activist-type group from within the Orthodox community. The most effective change comes from within communities, which is why I’d rather you talk to Orthodox jumblrs than me. There are many LGBTQ Orthodox Jews on tumblr who might be willing and able to help you make that change via advice on a Tikkunity post, connecting you with other activists, or via a longer-term messaging relationship as they make change in their own communities. While I don’t think Eshel formally works outside the U.S. right now, that doesn’t mean you can’t ask them about expansion or see if they can connect you with other laypeople community builders and shifters to provide mentorship and support.

If you can’t start within the community, you can start building alternate spaces with Jewish people you know who have been willing to engage with you. Even communities that are largely homophobic/transphobic aren’t a monolith. There’s lots of advice out there for people making “start-up” communities or “indepedent minyanim” or “chaburas.” It’s not fair that you have to do the work. But don’t take it out on all Orthodox Jews, individually, especially because some of them are on your side.

And if you’d rather move than make those changes then if/when you are able to move this blog can also be a resource for you. If you send in a message with the cities you’re considering and what you’re looking for in a community, someone in jumblr can likely help give some advice on where you’ll find the best community for you.

#ask-jumblr #mod talk #meta #blog #hate #anon hate #LGBTQ #LGBTQ Orthodox Jews

11 notes · View notes

performativezippers · 5 years

Text

This week is the start of Passover, one of my favorite Jewish holidays. Some of y’all goyim may not know the story, or how we celebrate. Now you do.

Here it is. The story of Passover, as told through my foggy memory of both Sunday school and the rugrats passover special. No facts were googled for this story.

SO. A super long time ago, there was a Pharaoh in Egypt, and he was having these trippy dreams. And he was straight up beside himself because no one could interpret them for him, and men don’t like to do things for themselves. Finally he found this one dude, Joseph (a known Jew), who had a rad jacket, who was super amazing at it. His interpretations saved Pharaoh/Egypt from some bad famines, etc. It was dope! Pharaoh was like, “My dude, you and all your people should come live here in Egypt forever! You’re so special to me! My favorite buddy who is like a witch but it’s cool and not evil, cause you’re a man!”

And Joseph was like “My dude that is very excellent to hear, because I am a Jew and people super hate us most places. It’s cool if we all come here?” And Pharaoh was like, “The more the merrier, my mishpohka.” So Joseph got basically errybody to move to Egypt, which was truly dope because the entire history of Judaism is that people actively do not want us to leave near them. Including Joseph’s brothers but that is a DIFFERENT musical.

So the Jews are living their best lives in Egypt cause Joseph is dope. But then, because every story has to have something bad happen to set the plot in motion, old Pharaoh dies, and new Pharaoh shows up on the scene. And he is Not About It. He’s like, “Who the fuck are these Jewish dingalings why do they think they’re so special?” And he’s like, “Boom! You’re my slaves now.” And the Jews are like “FUCK we should have KNOWN this was too good to be true.” Because everyone hates us. It’s like when there are happy lesbians on the CW. You should know better, but you don’t.

So the Jews all become slaves and have to do manual labor to build pyramids, etc. This is ironic because Jews are not known for their physical strength and endurance. But so the Jews are slaves, and the Pharaohs are super happy about it. UNTIL.

One particular Pharaoh, after an unspecified amount of generations because I do not remember, whose name I’m pretty sure was Ramses I but don’t @ me if I’m wrong, I don’t care, was like, “There are too fucking many of these people!” In an explicit rip-off of Harry Potter, he decided that all the Jewish boy children should be killed to protect himself, because he is a genocidal maniac and those people seem pretty fixated on the Jews in all different time periods. But one mother, Lily Potter, decided to try to save the life her son. She already had two kids, Miriam and Aaron, but her new baby was designated male at birth, so she was like, “Oh shit kids, we gotta do something.” So she did the only rational thing. She put her fucking newborn baby in a basket and set him sailing in the fucking Nile River with the hopes that some non-Jew would find him, raise him, and not be at all suspicious. Also he would not be eaten by a crocodile. And Lo! That is exactly what fucking happened. This baby was a chill natural born sailor, just floating his ass down the river like a bachelorette party on a float trip. The Pharaoh's own daughter found this baby in the river, and for some fucking unknown reason she was not at all suspicious. She was just like, “Oh, dope! A baby boy! Who looks Jewish, at a time when all Jews are supposed to kill their baby boys! This is not suspicious! I’ll raise him as my own son and no one will suspect shit!” And then she’s like, “I got you from the river, so I’ll name you Moses, which means something like ‘I got you from the fucking reeds in the river,’ and no one will know shit!” And then she fucking did that.

The Disney Film The Prince of Egypt would like you believe that Moses didn’t know he was Jewish until adulthood, and then he found out through Big Drama so he could a sing a loud song about it. But you have to resist the Disneyfication, because that’s not how the story goes.

Moses totally knew he was a Jew. He knew! And he was kind of like, “I’m sorry that all my people are slaves, but also that doesn’t 100% seem like a me problem.” Basically he was a white dude, you know? Concerned but not that concerned? Living up his passing privilege, being brothers with the next Pharaoh in line, racing chariots or some shit, you know. White dude stuff. But then one day he saw an overseer beating a Jewish dude, and Moses was like “FUCKING FINE, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH,” and he - slightly overkill - legit murdered that overseer. Then he fled. He turned tail and RAN. Out on his mom Lily Potter, out on his sister and brother Miriam and Aaron, out on his adopted Pharaoh family. He just peaced the fuck out.

He went to the desert and found some goat herders. And the goat herder daughter was super hot. And he was like, “Hey first girl I’ve seen in a while, you smell like goats and not responsibility. Wanna get married?” And her dad was like, “Sure, dirty stranger who recently emerged from the desert and has no tribe and this marriage will do nothing for mine in a time when tribe is everything. Marry my daughter! Her name is Zipporah!”

So they got married, and Moses became a goat person! He was living it UP. It was dope. He loved being a goat person because he had no responsibilities. He did not seem that worried about his family or his people in Extreme Danger over in Egypt. He was busy! He had goats now! But then one day, one of his goats went on an unsanctioned adventure, and Moses had to go find the goat. And the goat was in this canyon or some shit, and then a bush burst into flame! And remember this is pre-Smokey The Bear, so Moses did not know that he should try to put out the fire with sand or water or his tunic. He did not know that only he could have prevented this brush fire, the likes of which have devastated California this year. This bush burst into flames and Moses was like “WHO IS THERE?” which to me seems absurd but then the bush was like “MY DUDE, IT IS GOD.” And here is where Moses and I are different because Moses believed it. Just like in Zoolander, he was like, “GOD?” And the bush was like, “YO IT IS I.” God/bush was like, “You have to go free your people from slavery.” And Moses didn’t say what we’re all thinking, why the fuck don’t you do it, literal God? But apparently God is super into late-stage capitalism, because he likes to use independent contractors, like Moses, to do his bidding. Lower health insurance costs, easier to avoid responsibility if things go south. You know. So God is like, “No, Moses, you’re the uber driver of freedom! Go yee unto Egypt, my dude.” And Moses is like, “Dude, I have a stutter, and I’ve only talked to goats for a couple years, honestly I seem out of touch with the common man? Maybe you want some other uber driver? I have like, only 3.5 stars.” But God is like, “Bitch PLEASE just go! Your brother can help you or some shit, I honestly do not give a fuck. Go do my bidding, I am a shrub on fire!” And Moses, in another blatant Harry Potter rip-off, is like “Well shit I suppose I am the Chosen One,” and Lo! He and his goathearding wife leave their happy goat life and go back to Egypt.

So he rolls up to the new Pharaoh who I’m pretty sure is his brother or cousin or something, I think names Ramses II, don’t @ me, and he’s like, “Didja miss me?” and the Pharaoh is like “Honestly, no.” Then Moses is like, “Let the Jews be free. I’m good at magic now,” and his brother Pharaoh responds the way we all would, with an eye roll. Moses turns his walking stick into a snake but Pharoah is like “Another Harry Potter reference? Honestly dude, cool it. We get it, you’re a Gryffindor, you’ve been to Harry Potter World and tried butterbeer. Fucking chill.” And Moses probably can’t believe that didn't work because magicians love magic and think everyone else does too. So he calls his supervisor, God, and is like, “My dude this magic thing is not working. Time to make MORE magic!” And God is like, “Great idea, independent contractor.” So he and his contractor wreak havoc on Egypt: THE TEN PLAGUES. (1) They turn the Nile River into literal blood, but the Egyptians are just like, “Dude, ew.” Then Bush/Moses are like, fucking fine! And they go hog wild. (2) Frogs everywhere. (3) Gnats everywhere. (4) Flies everywhere. They were super big into the animal game. Not all that creative, but points for working with what they had at hand. (5) Livestock disease, (6) boils on erryone, (7) some literal hail on fire. Then God is like, “Was that extra enough?” And Moses is like “I don’t know but likely not,” so then (8) there are so many locusts that people couldn’t even see the ground. Which again, possibly overkill. Then, they went super old school, and (9) straight up turned off the sun for three days. And here’s the super fucking creepy part. After each plague, Moses went to the Pharaoh and was like, “My dude, what about NOW? Please? Let us poor lil Jew peoples be free!” And each time, Moses’s supervisor, God, and I quote, “hardened Pharaoh’s heart” so he would say no. Okay, what the EFF. Late stage capitalism is so weird! Why!? God was 100% playing both sides of this ish, like a true member of the 1%. Was he like, excited about genocide? Why make all the human peoples do all this shit? Last time he was excited about genocide he straight up flooded the world til everyone but his one favorite independent contractor was dead. Old Testament God is fucked up. But so the Pharaoh said no again, because, to reiterate, Old Testament God is a real fucking douche, so then Moses was like “Uh, feel my wrath, brother/cousin.” Then Moses/God got extra as FUCK. They summoned God’s other independent contractor, the Angel of Death, to come kill all the first born children in Egypt. Hello, overkill. I’m not clear on the age cut off here, but I guess it was everyone who hadn’t had their gentile bar mitzvah or something. All them first borns were gonna die. But the Jews put lamb’s blood on the doorframes of their houses so that the Angel of Death would pass over their homes and not harm their children. Get it? PASS OVER? PASSOVER? Gotta love a good death pun. And I mean, I have some questions here. First of all, where did all these slaves get tender, succulent, juicy lambs from? I’m not an expert but that seems unlikely. Second of all, did the Angel PASS OVER because the blood scared him? Or because he was like “Oh, I must have already been here, cause it’s already a bloody mess”? Which begs the question, can the Angel of Death really not tell the difference between animal blood and people blood? Did all the first-born non-bar-mitzvahed animals die too? Where was his tracking spreadsheet?? Inquiring minds want to know. Also want to know how he got hired for this gig, if he can’t tell the difference between sheeps and people. In this economy!?

But okay, Pharaoh’s oldest son? Dies. Straight up murdered by an angel. This book is super dark. Pharaoh is like, “Fucking fine! Get out of here! I don’t want to see your stupid Jew faces anymore!” And Moses is like, “Wow, bitch, took you long enough!” So the Jews get the fuck out of there. They don’t even wait for their bread to rise. Which is some Great British Baking Show shit. No proving drawer, no natural rise, no letting the yeast do it’s thing. Mary Berry would not approve. Underproved, she’d say, before taking another shot of cooking sherry. And that’s why now, when we celebrate passover, we can only eat crackers and flat breads, things that Mary Berry would misleadingly call “biscuits.”

So the Jews and their unleavened biscuits GTFO, and scurry the eff away. But God is still being a fucking weirdo, so he leads them to the Red Sea, which, FYI, is full of water and Jews are not natural seafaring folk. We have delicate, small sinuses and tender inner ears. Also no boats. And, surprise surprise, Pharaoh was like, “WTF, this is late stage capitalism! I can’t believe I just let my captive, free labor source run away! That was so stupid! What are the lives of several thousand children worth, stacked up to my millions of Pharaoh dollars??” So he readies his chariots and the whole army goes out to bring the Jews back to slavery.

But Moses and the Jews aren’t that into going back. Moses is like, “Okay, supervisor, we did what you said but now we’re at the edge of a straight up piece of ocean and the Pharaoh is coming and we’re a weak people, so...like do you have a plan...or what?” And God leaves him on unread for a while, but finally he realizes that he’s about to lose HIS entire labor market, so he gives Moses some more magic. Moses splits the Red Sea, so the Jews can run across the bottom like little crabs. They do no data collection on the sea floor or other unknown creatures, which is honestly a slap in the face to modern science. They run across like little crabs, and even though I imagine it was quite a far distance, this does not seem to bother them. They make it to the other side, but by then the Chariots of Menace are upon then. But God is like, “Thank me, I’ve been wanting to do a full-on genocide this whole time, I love that!” and so he closes the waters of the Red Sea and the entire Egyptian army, including Pharaoh Rameses II or whoever, dies.

Then the Jews celebrate! This is morbid as fuck. Also, many stories of Jews go like this: “We were persecuted but then we freed ourselves!”* *and then murdered all of our oppressors in cold blood I’m looking at you, town of Shushan! But whatever! The Jews celebrate! Miriam leads them in dancing and singing and they eat their misleading biscuits.

Then other stuff happens but this has already felt like it’s taken forty years (FORESHADOWING) so I’ll stop it here. Hashtag THE MORE YOU KNOW.

To celebrate this strange story, we:

Tell the strange story to each other, even though we all know it

Drink a fuck ton of wine

Eat misleading biscuits

Hide the misleading biscuits in our great aunt’s house, and then find the biscuits, and then pay each other in dollars for the pleasure

Hold up strange foods and then eat them

Invite a ghost to join us for dinner; pour him wine but don’t serve him food

Ask questions that we know the answers to

Fall into a food coma

And yes, that all sounds strange and shit. BUT like, at another popular spring festival, people hide eggs in the outdoors, and sometimes those are real eggs, sometimes real eggs without the egg bits inside them, and sometimes plastic eggs full of refined sugar? And an enormous scary pink rabbit is there? Which has nothing to do with the resurrection of a dude who is the son of God and also not God but sort of becomes a God even though it’s monotheism?

So, I’m just saying, we all have our stuff.

HAPPY PASSOVER

#passover #jew stuff #the story of passover #zipps explains things #you're welcome #don't @ me

183 notes · View notes

art-by-rozzai · 5 years

Text

had a bad day so more band au headcannons

anyone who wants to write a fic for this is absolutely allowed if they tag me, i’m not gonna make any full length ones but i might post some one shots eventually

anyway i had a really shitty day so here’s me self projecting and creating more band headcannons

check out the first here~

check out the second here~

tag list~

@athenashipsthings @thelesbianspoon @flowersheep @insert--self--hatred @nafsbluebery @sunflowerss0 @nerdiegurlie @stars-and-rose

okays lets do this✨

so last when we left the boys, it’s the day before they release their album “death of a bachelor”

to celebrate, roman suggests they get dinner out and maybe go see a movie??

logan is suprisingly the first to agree, saying that if he doesn’t get to watch the “scary stories to tell in the dark” movie soon he will explode. plus there’s no food in the fridge

virgil is also down to go see the movie, but is more reluctant to get dinner. he hates formal things, so to make him feel more comfortable roman offers they go to the local diner that he knows has virgil’s favorite chicken parm dish and virgil can’t say no to that

patton doesn’t want to see the movie at first-he really doesn’t like scary movies. but he wants dinner with his friends and he might be able to latch onto logan during the scary parts so he goes with it

so patton offers go help virgil with his hair and they end up getting ready together! they talk about everything they can think of as patton does hair and virgil does makeup and they both do each other’s nails and then they’re ready to go out whooooppp

meanwhile roman collapsed on logan’s bed an hour ago and began complaining about how he needed to impress virgil to get him to fall in love with him and has been talking ever since

logan doesn’t mind tho, roman helps him pick out a nice outfit and gives tips on how to woo patt

even though it’s not a date

yet

anyways they get to the diner and they all have an incredible time! by the end of the meal they’re in tears laughing at each other, from roman’s hysterical stories to virgil’s banter to logan’s fun facts and spilt tea to patton’s enthusiastic impressions

they love each over like family :)

and the movie is top notch. virgil is in love with it, him and logan spend the whole time guessing what’s going to happen while roman hides behind virgil and patton shoves his face full of popcorn and squish himself into logan’s arm

and yes virgil can’t stop laughing and logan’s immediate tensing up and blushing

after the movie they just don’t want to go to bed quite yet, so the friends head to the park and enjoy lying in the grass, talking and letting logan point out the stars while roman makes up stories of the aliens and space princesses that protect the galaxy

virgil makes everyone his famous hot chocolate and they stay up until midnight to release their songs

and then the clock strikes 12 and death of a bachelor is available to download

the boys decide that staying up and watching the comments flood in is a terrible idea and instead they put on some disney films and fall asleep on the couch

it’s nice

they wake up to millions of notifications

everyone is freaking the fuck out

this album ??? is beautiful ???

all of the fans are in love but also have a lot of questions-so the fab four start doing monthly live-streams to just chat and answer questions and catch up with their fans

“are y’all single?”

well yes

but uh

this question is not goOD ROMAN WHAT THE FU-

anyway virgil comes to patton one day, slams the door, puts his face in a pillow and screams “PATT IM SO GAY HELP”

because roman called his hair pretty this morning and yes it’s stupid and it happens all the time but this time was different

don’t worry tho they won’t admit their feelings to one and other for another three months

death of a bachelor does really well-all of the songs end up going either gold or platinum

their song “victorious” is played on the radio all of the time

so november rolls around and the friends decide it’s time to go on tour! starting with just north america, they post a video on the youtube channel that gives all the locations and dates

it’s to start in april:

virgil is extremely nervous. being on the road for so long and preforming live in front of thousands of people and will anyone even show up and-

logan is slightly nervous but honestly he really enjoys preforming-once he ties the tie around his head like a bandanna he almost transforms into the punk rock bassist he is known by the fans to be

patton!!! is!!! bouncy!!!!!!!! he wants to meet all these people!!!! and he can’t wait to give back to all of them by preforming and meet and greets and social interaction makes him really happy!!

roman is so excited-preforming is his thing. when he’s on a stage, he’s in his element! he can’t wait to show off and travel and be with his friends for even longer :)

but they can’t go on tour with their boring old instruments sooooo

roman and patton team up to paint and decorate all of the instruments

virgil’s piano matches his jacket, lots of purple and swirls and patton paints the classic nightmare before christmas scene on the front (u know, this one but stationary)

and they decorate the microphone stand purple and silver and black

logan gets a dope space themed bass-the outside is dark blue and the inside is painted like a galaxy, with a plain silver pick

roman paints his gutair with a castle and sunset in the back, with a bright red pick to play

patton’s drums have clouds on them nowww like a sunny day with blue puffy clouds

they’re ready to go! but it’s still only december so u kNoW whAt ThaT mEaNs

CHRISTMAS!!!!!

since none of the squad are jewish, (although technically patton is half jew since his mom is, but he just really loves christmas and always celebrated that growing up so)

they decide to celebrate at their house

they invite all of their close family to the apartment and have a lovely dinner

and yeah virgil doesn’t invite anyone cuz he was adopted by a shitty family who he doesn’t talk to anymore, bcuz all they did was try and get money out of him

and yeah he has a panic attack when all of his best friends are excitedly talking about their family coming over

and y e a h roman helps him calm down and swears that he will always b there to protect virgil bcuz he’s never met anyone quite like him and it’s not easy to explain but he just wants virgil to know he’s safe with roman

and yeah virgil wishes he could stop falling for roman but the ground keeps disappearing beneath him

so time skip a bit closer to christmas and logan bursts into romans room with an idea

“i can rap”

“we know”

“you can rap”

“kind of but okay”

“christmas rap song for fun”

“yeS”

so they write “gonna kill santa claus” (look it up) and decide to post it on the youtube channel on christmas eve

they film a music video for it where they jokingly set up different traps for santa like poison cookies and fire cracker chimneys and more

virgil sings the chorus, logan raps the rap parts, roman does the bridge, and patton lays down a pretty sick beat

it comes out really nice and honestly really fucking funny

so after a delightful family dinner with everyone over, the friends release that video and the internet fucking dies it’s so funny and logan can rap (??????) and ohmygod all of them are so cute what the fuck

anyway back to christmas dinner

roman has like 6 little sisters, and his mom and dad and papa and nana over

(he’s latino, his mom and dad are both from the dominican republic)

patton invites his mom and dad and little brothers, thomas and dee

and logan invites his two moms

everyone comes over for lunch and gets along reallyyyyyy well

logan’s got the punk mom and soft mom dynamic whereas, patton’s family is all super kind and like homey and boisterous and romans family is wild and crazy and funny and they all instantly click

presents are passed around, lots of money and books and movies and stickers and jewelry

really sweet stuff

and then everyone goes home and the friends have their own little gift exchange

virgil got logan the stephen king book “insomnia” and a (sort of) joke blanket with benedict cumberbatch’s face on it that he can use when he goes stargazing at night

logan gets virgil some noise cancelling headphones and a framed picture of a wedding with virgil’s face cropped on one and gerard ways face on the other

they both can’t stop laughing at the fact they attacked each other’s celeb crush

virgil gets patton a cute little cat stuffed animal that when u push the hand it’s a recording of all of them saying “we love you!!!” and a really sweet card

patton gets virgil a eyore necklace that was super expensive but matches patton’s winnie the pooh one and a itunes card for him to buy more music (and yes a really sweet card)

virgil gets roman two tickets to see mean girls on broadway and a framed picture of the two of them

yeah roman tears up a bit fuck u

roman gets virgil a collage of him and roman and a handmade hoodie that virgil is never going to take off oh and also meet and greet passes to see dan and phil at their interactive introverts tour

and maybe virge gets a little teary too

roman gets patton a recipie book and an apron that says “you BAKE my day”

patton gets roman a new ukelele and a printed out pamphlete of theatre song chords that he can play

roman gets logan the sherlock script and an empty box just to fuck with him

logan gets roman the entire grimm fairytale series and tapes a note to the front that says “bcuz u are an illiterate fool😜”

patton gets logan a phone case with the stars that were out on the day they met, hand painted framed picture of him and logan, and comic con tickets for this spring

logan gets patton tickets to the art museum downtown, a gift card to the coffee shop next to it, and two gold hoop earrings with a note that says “next week, friday at 7. it’s a date ;)”

so christmas is pretty good for all :))))))

and that’s the end of this one i’ll make a part four soon lmao

25 notes · View notes

innuendostudios · 5 years

Video

youtube

New video essay! Internet reactionaries argue as though they have no core beliefs at all, and will just say anything to own the libs. So are they nihilists, or is there more going on?

You can ensure this series continues by backing me on Patreon.

Transcript below the cut.

Say, for the sake of argument, you’re online blogging about a Black journalist’s commentary on marketing trends in video games, movies, and comic books, and you’re saying how the vitriol in response to her fairly benign opinions reveals the deep-seated racism and misogyny in a number of fan communities, most especially those that lean right, when a right-leaning commenter pops in to say, “Or maybe they just actually disagree with her about marketing trends! For Christ’s sake, there’s no mystery here. People aren’t aren’t speaking in coded language. They are telling you what they believe. She had a bad opinion; why do you have to make it bigger than that? Why can’t you ever take people at their word?”

You pause and ponder for a moment. Mmm… Aw heck with it, you’re in a discoursing mood. Let’s do this.

“Mr. Conservative, in order for me to take you at your word, your words would have to show some consistency. Let me just lightning round a few questions about the reactionary web’s positions on marketing trends: Do you believe that having the option to romance same-sex characters in an RPG turns the game into queer propaganda, or do you believe that killing strippers in an action game can’t be sexist since no one’s making you do it? Do you believe that the pervasiveness of sexualized young women in pop culture is just there because it sells and that’s capitalism and we all need to deal with it, or do you believe that a franchise has an obligation to cater to its core audience even if diversifying beyond that audience is more profitable? Do you think words are inherently harmless and only oversensitive snowflakes would care about racialized language, or do you think it’s racist if someone calls you mayonnaise boy? As long as I’ve got your ear: Are you the Party that believes in the right to keep and bear arms because you’re distrustful of all authority and what if we need to overthrow the government someday, or do you believe that cops are civil servants and we should trust their account of events whenever they shoot a Black man for looking like he might have a gun?

“Does optional content reveal a game’s ideology, or doesn’t it? Is capitalism a defense for decisions you don’t agree with, or isn’t it? Is language harmful, or not? Do you hate authority, or love cops and the troops?

Alright, alright, ease off. Add some nuance. “Now, I know the Right is not a monolith, and maybe these arguments are contradictory because they’re coming from different people. We’ll call them Engelbert and Charlemagne. Maybe Engelbert’s the one who thinks any institution funded by tax money is socialist and therefore bad and Charlemagne’s the one who says we should dump even more tax money into the military and thinking otherwise is un-American. But here’s the thing: Y’all have very fundamentally different beliefs, and you’re so passionate about them that you enter search terms into Twitter to find people you don’t even follow and aggressively disagree with them, and, yet, you’re always yelling at me and never yelling at each other. What’s that about?

“And I can’t say how often it happens, but I know, if I let Engelbert go on long enough, he sometimes makes a Charlemagne argument. And vice versa.

“And, I see you getting ready to say, ‘The Left does the same thing,’ but ba ba ba ba ba, don’t change the subject. That’s an extremely false equivalence, but, more importantly, it doesn’t answer my question. What do you actually believe, and why are you so capable of respecting disagreement between each other, yet so incapable of respecting me - or, for that matter, a Black woman?

“See, I don’t take you at your word because I cannot form a coherent worldview out of the things you say. So, forgive me if, when you tell me what you believe, I don’t think you’re being candid with me. It kinda seems like you’re playing games, and I’m the opposing team, and anyone who’s against me is your ally. And you’re not really taking a position, but claiming to believe in whatever would need to be true to score points against me, like we’re in that one episode of Seinfeld.” [Card Says Moops clip.]

(This is borrowed observation #1, link in the down-there part.)

Hoo, it feels good calling people hypocrites! Person says B when earlier they said A and you point out the contradiction! You don’t take a position on A or B, and you still “win”! I see why Republicans like this so much.

But that’s the kind of point-scoring we’re here to deconstruct, so let’s get analytical.

There’s a certain Beat-You-At-Your-Own-Gaminess to the Card Says Moops maneuver. “Safe spaces are bullshit, but, if you get one, I get one too.” “There’s no such thing as systemic oppression, but, if there were, I’d be oppressed.” It’s dismissing the rhetoric of social justice while also trying to use it against you. Claiming “the Card Says Moops” does not, so much, mean, “I believe the people who invaded Spain in the 8th Century were literally called The Moops,” but, rather, “You can’t prove I don’t believe it.” Not a statement of sincere belief, simply moving a piece across the board. All in the game, yo.

If they could be so nakedly honest with you and themselves to answer “what do you actually believe” truthfully, one suspects the answer would be, “What difference does it make? We’re right either way.”

This has come to be known as “postmodern conservatism,” a fact I find hilarious, because, in The Discourse, “postmodernism” is a dogwhistle for everything the Right hates about the Left. (...it also means “Jews.”) Postmodern conservatism is the thinking that, at least for the purpose of argument, the truth of who invaded Spain is immaterial. You have your facts, I have alternative facts. What is true? Who’s to say?

Regardless of what you actually believe - what you believe serving no rhetorical purpose - you are at least arguing from the position that material truth does not exist. Truth is a democracy. Whoever who wins the argument decides who invaded Spain.

It would be reductive to blame this pattern of thought on the internet, but its recent proliferation isn’t really extricable from the rise of chan culture (this is borrowed observation #2, link in the down there part). 4chan didn’t cause this thinking, but sites like 4chan reveal it in its most concentrated form.

The two most common properties of a chan board will be anonymity and lack of moderation, which means, among other things, that you can say whatever you want with no systemic or social repercussions. People may disagree with you, but it carries no weight. You won’t be banned, you won’t have your comments deleted, and, because there’s no way to know whether any two posts are made by the same person, you won’t even get a reputation as “the person with the bad opinion.”

The effect this has on the community is that there is no expectation, in any given moment, that the person on the other end of a conversation isn’t messing with you. You can’t know whether they mean what they say or are only arguing as though they mean what they say. And entire debates may just be a single person stirring the pot. Such a community will naturally attract people who enjoy argument for its own sake, and will naturally trend towards the most extreme version of any opinion.

In short, this is the Free Marketplace of Ideas. No code of ethics, no social mores, no accountability. A Darwinist petri dish where ideas roam free and only the strong ones survive. If the community agrees Bebop is better than Eva, well, then I guess Bebop is better than Eva, because there wasn’t any outside influence polluting the discourse. Granted, it could just be a lot of people thought it was funny to shit on Eva, but it’s what the community has decided, so it will at least be treated as truth.

This demands that one both be highly opinionated and to assume opinions are bullshit, to place a high premium on consensus and be intensely distrustful of groupthink.

A common means of straddling these lines is what I call the Stanislavski Opinion: the opinion you entertain so completely that you functionally believe it while you express it, no matter the possibility that you will express - and, to an extent, believe - an opposite opinion later. Most of us go through a phase in our youths where we’re online and like the idea of believing in something, but don’t know what to believe just yet, so we pick a position and find out if we believe it by defending it. We try on ideologies like sunglasses off a rack. Most of us will eventually settle on a belief system, and this will usually involve some apologies and some comments we wish we could scrub from the internet, but it’s an important stage of growing up.

But some percentage of people will seek out a space where there is no embarrassment, the comments scrub themselves, and never growing out of the Stanislavski Opinion is actively rewarded. There, figuring out what you believe would make your ability to argue less flexible, and, besides, if you believed anything unironically, much of the community would still assume you’re trolling. Where no one is bound by their word, what, really, is the difference between appearing to have an opinion and having one?

Sincerity is unprovable and open to interpretation. Decide someone is sincere if you want to make fun of them, decide they’re trolling if you want to make fun of someone else. What is true? What do you want to be true? It’s easy enough to start thinking of one’s own opinions the same way: What do I believe? What is it advantageous to believe? Your answer isn’t binding. You’ll change it later if you need to.

The person I’m describing, you spend time online, you’ll meet him a lot. His name is Schrodinger’s Douchebag (borrowed observation #3, link in the down there part): A guy who says offensive things & decides whether he was joking based on the reaction of people around him. Any website that lacks effective moderation and allows some level of anonymity will, to varying degrees, approximate 4chan, and be overrun with Schrodinger’s Douchebag.

When this type of person defends rape jokes by saying all humor is inherently punching down because there must be a butt to every joke, he hasn’t thought about it. He assumes it’s true, because he figures he’s a smart guy and whatever he assumes is probably right, but he’s unfazed if you prove otherwise; there’s no shortage of dodgy reasons he might be right and you wrong. He’ll just pick another one. What matters is that the game continues.

The thing is, Bob, it’s not that they’re lying, it’s that they just don’t care. I’ll say that again for the cheap seats: When they make these kinds of arguments, they legitimately do not care whether the words coming out of their mouths are true. It is a deeply held belief for precisely as long as it wins arguments.

So it’s kinda funny, right, how many of these folks self-identify as “rationalists?” I mean, typical rational thinking would say: If I am presented with the truth, I will believe it, and, once I believe it, I will defend it in argument. This? This is not that! This is a different idea of “rationality” that views it not as a practice but as an innate quality one either possesses or lacks, like being blond or left-handed: If I’m arguing it, I must believe it, because I’m a rational person, and, if I believe it, because I’m a rational person, it must be true. You speak assuming you’re right, and, should you take a new position, this telescopes out into a whole new set of beliefs with barely a thought. Stay focused on the argument, and you won’t even notice it’s happening.

You might now conclude the internet reactionary believes in nothing except winning arguments with liberals. And, like Newtonian physics, if you assume this framing, you will get highly useful results. If you enter conversation with Engelbert and Charlemagne believing they do not mean what they say, they are only entertaining notions, and, on a long enough timeline, they will eventually defend a position fundamentally incompatible with the one they defended earlier in the same argument, you will navigate that conversation much more effectively!

But, like Newtonian physics, this framing is lowercase-a accurate without being capital-T True.

In reality, nihilism isn’t that popular. People will tell you, “I don’t care about anything, I just like triggering the libs,” but why is it always libs? It is piss easy (and also hilarious) to upset conservatives, why only go after the SJWs? The easy answer is, well, if you upset a feminist, you might make her cry; if you upset a Nazi, he might stab you, and that has a cooling effect. But the more obvious answer is that they actually agree with the racist, MRA, and TERF talking points they repeat, but would rather not think about it.

So much of conservative rhetoric is about maintaining ignorance of one’s own beliefs. To uphold the institution of imperialist white supremacist capitalist patriarchy while thinking you are none of those things. (Well, OK, knowing you’re a capitalist, but thinking it’s a good thing.) Most people have a baseline of fairly conventional, kindergarten morality, and conservatism often clashes with it. You can rationalize these contradictions - “I’m not a bigot, I just believe in states’ rights” - but, as American conservatism gets more radical, it gets harder to square one’s politics with what one assumes to be one’s beliefs. So you learn, when someone challenges you, to cycle through beliefs until something sticks, just play your hand and trust that you’re right, or, in extreme cases, insist you have no beliefs at all, you’re just here to watch the world burn.

But they’re not. They are willing participants in the burning of only certain parts. They don’t care what they believe, but they know what they hate, and they don’t want to think about why they hate it. On paper, they believe in freedom of religion and freedom of expression, but they also hang out in communities where Muslims and trans women are punching bags. And, like a sixth grader who believes one thing in Sunday school and another thing in biology class, they believe different things at different times.

This thinking is fertile ground for Far Right recruitment. I’d say the jury is out on whether chan boards attract Far Right extremists or are built to attract Far Right extremists, but they’re where extremists congregate and organize because they’re where extremists are tolerated, and where they blend in with the locals. They learn the lingua franca of performative irony: Say what you mean in such a way that people who disagree think you’re kidding and people who agree think you’re serious. People who don’t know what they believe but clearly have some fascist leanings don’t need to be convinced of Nazi rhetoric, they just need to be submerged in it and encouraged to hate liberals. They’ll make their way Right on their own. Folks start using extremist rhetoric because it wins arguments with SJWs - usually because that’s the moment SJWs decide it’s not fruitful and possibly unsafe talking to you - and this creates the appearance that, if it keeps winning arguments, there must be something to it. The Far Right literally has handbooks on how to do this.

Those who never consciously embrace the ideology - who don’t transition from participating to getting recruited - are still useful. They spread the rhetoric, they pad the numbers, and often participate in harassment and sometimes even violence.

There’s a twisted elegance to all this. Think about it: If you operate as though there is no truth, just competing opinions, and as though opinions aren’t sincere, just tools to be picked up and dropped depending on their utility, then what are you operating under? Self-interest. The desire to win. You’ll defend the Holocaust just to feel smarter than someone, superior. Think about how beautifully that maps onto the in-group/out-group mentality of dominance and bigotry. Think how incompatible it is with liberal ideas of tolerance. I think this is why we don’t see a lot of these “I’m just here to fuck shit up” types on the Left. Don’t get me wrong, the Left has gotten on some bullshit, but (excepting politicians, whom you should never assume to mean anything they say) it’s sincerely-believed bullshit! We don’t build identities around saying things just to piss people off.

The takeaway from all this is not only that you can’t tell the difference between a bigot who doesn’t know they’re a bigot and a bigot who knows but won’t tell you, but that there is no line dividing the two. When some guy, in the middle of a harassment campaign, says the victims should be nicer to their harassers because that will “mend the rift,” I don’t know if he believes it. But, in that moment, he believes he believes it. And that scares the shit out of me. But, if you’re asking how many layers of irony he’s on as compared with the harassers, nine times out of ten it doesn’t matter.

Borrowed observation #4 is: “We are what we pretend to be.”

#the alt-right playbook #alt-right #video essay

205 notes · View notes

partlycharlie-archive · 5 years

Text

february 20, 1937

part 1 of lines don’t have ends

summary: So. Now they’re here, in a tiny one-bedroom apartment a couple blocks east of the Brooklyn Bridge, in a neighborhood with the most queers east of Greenwich. Sharing a room, and a bathroom, and a kitchen, and a living-dining-office type room. It’s everything Bucky had been dreaming of, and he can’t even get the goddamn chance to enjoy it. word count: 1568 warnings: n/a a/n: welcome to the first part of LDHE! posting this for @fandomtrumpshate 2019 - hope y’all enjoy!

read on ao3

---

It’s been a couple of months since Momma - Miss Sarah Rogers, as most other people knew her - died.

It seems wrong, almost, that after everything Momma’s been through, it was the tuberculosis that eventually got her.

(Bucky had tried everything he could think of - lit rosemary in Momma’s room, knelt and prayed next to her bed (only the one time - holding Steve’s rosary felt too wrong), helped Steve with filling baths and getting water and buying jars of honey for tea whenever he could get his hands on it. He even spoke with Rabbi Joseph almost every day, that week, and Ma hadn’t even tried to stop him. He probably shouldn’t have, in retrospect - Rabbi Joseph almost definitely knows something’s wrong with how attached Bucky is to Steve and Momma - but it’s too late to change anything now.)

He knows it’s bad, but Bucky can’t help being grateful Momma was the one who passed, not Steve. Those few weeks before when Stevie had been sick - not with tuberculosis, with scarlet fever, which wasn’t as bad but still so, so worrying - had been the worst of Bucky’s life. Steve couldn’t get out of bed on his own, and Momma had to cover too many shifts to help, so Bucky ended up staying home most days to take care of him. He’d always known Steve was sickly - he’d been catching colds left and right ever since they met - but it was one thing to know that, and another to see him on death’s door and be terrified he might step over.

He knows it was worse for Stevie, though. Not catching the fever - Steve’s been dealing with sickness all his life, by this point he’s pretty much used to it - but having to watch his mother go through almost exactly what he had most of his life and fail to survive? It tore Steve apart. He was wracked with guilt, and what made it even worse was that Bucky could understand why.

And Bucky hated to even think about it, and he’d never dare say it to Steve, but.

But nothing, really.

It’s over now - Momma’s resting, wherever she went, and all they can do is grieve and tell themselves she went to someplace better than the shithole they’re all in.

Grieving is hard, Bucky gets that - Ma went through a miscarriage and a stillbirth before they got Annie, and losing Emma and Aidan still gets to him when he lets himself think about it. Steve, though. It almost seems like Steve’s just… drifting, really.

Bucky hasn’t said anything to him about it; to be honest, he’s mostly just grateful Steve agreed to live with him at all. He's not gonna lie - there’d been a couple of weeks there right after Momma’s funeral where Steve had flat out refused to move in, and it had driven Bucky crazy . He didn’t really sleep, during those days, too busy tossing and turning to the thought of Steve, alone in that tiny apartment that feels far too big without Momma’s spirit filling it up.

It had taken Winifred Barnes herself - with a personality louder than her voice - to finally shake some sense into Steve’s odd sensibilities. She filled up that apartment to bursting without even flinching and took joy in reminding Steve about the family he’d been ignoring in his grief-fueled isolation.

There was a sort of smug satisfaction, Bucky can admit, in seeing Steve get chewed out by the woman who was basically his mother at this point. He got to see the expressions on Steve’s face - righteous indignation when Ma started to yell… slack-jawed surprised when the first tear dripped down Ma’s face, followed by another, and another…

And Steve can’t help it, really - he’s a sympathetic crier, always has been, especially with Ma. Bucky can count on the fingers of one hand how many times he’s seen her cry, so he was almost as shocked as Steve was when Ma’s voice had started to shake.

She’d gotten over it soon, though - gathered herself together in that certain sort of way he’s only ever seen her do, grabbed Stevie by the ear, and told him to pack up his stuff.

He did, obviously. He’s not an idiot.

At that point, Ma’s relatives in Europe had been talking for a while about coming over to America. The whole Hitler business is frightening for everyone over there, not just the Jews, but it doesn’t help that they’re the ones being blamed. Something dangerous is about to happen, and everybody knows it.

It wasn’t until recently, though, that Ma had been able to save up some money to sponsor their immigration. Four kids under one roof is a hell of a lot to take care of, so Bucky had officially dropped out of school (not like he had been going much before that, anyway - he’d been taking shifts down at the docks since he was fourteen and they went four days without anything but beans and bread to pave the way) and got his own place.

It was a little tenement in Gairville, just big enough to fit him and Becca and not much else - except Stevie, maybe, who was small enough to share Bucky’s bed without people saying much of anything, (not that they would, in a place like this), who ended up moving in with the both of them.

So. Now they’re here, in a tiny one-bedroom apartment a couple blocks east of the Brooklyn Bridge, in a neighborhood with the most queers east of Greenwich. Sharing a room, and a bathroom, and a kitchen, and a living-dining-office type room. It’s everything Bucky had been dreaming of, and he can’t even get the goddamn chance to enjoy it.

“Steve?” he calls, noting the hunch in Steve’s posture and the way he keeps flexing his fingers - subconsciously, as if he’s been working for too long but hasn’t realized it yet.

He doesn’t look up, just hums and picks up the pencil-type-thing laying by his waist.

Bucky sighs. This is Steve on one of his good days - too wrapped up in whatever he’s doing to notice anything around him.

Bucky thinks maybe he’d have more energy to be annoyed by the shit Stevie pulls if he wasn’t so hopelessly gone on him.

He leans against the wall, rubbing a hand down the side of his face.

Shit like that only gets more dangerous the more you think about it.

“Stevie?”

Steve looks up, eyes unfocused and squinting, from where he’s hunched over the old desk in the living room/dining room/kitchen (when Bucky says they don’t have a lot of room, he means it). “Hey, Buck,” he says, setting down his pencil.

“Y’know, one day your back’s gonna get stuck like that, and no braces or stretching is gonna be able to fix it.” Bucky crosses over to where he’s sitting, grabbing the other stool and plopping himself down.

Steve rolls his eyes, leaning over the back of the chair and groaning softly as his spine pops. “Yeah, yeah - tell me something I don’t know, why don’t you?”

“Well, it’s one AM, for starters.” Steve jumps, a little bit, obviously surprised at the time.

“What?” Bucky nods, a small smile on his face. “But - shit. I could’ve sworn we just had dinner…”

“Mmm… yeah, around four hours ago. C’mon buddy, let’s get to bed.” Bucky presses a hand to the small of Steve’s back and pushes lightly, feeling almost no resistance as Steve lets his body go limp.

“I don’t want to,” he says mulishly, closing his eyes against the weight of Bucky’s stare.

He rolls his eyes. “Hoo boy. Yeah, no, we’re not doing this. We’ve both got early days tomorrow.” In one smooth motion, he lifted Steve out of the chair, bending to slide an arm under his knees and lifting him up with nothing so much as even a grunt.

(Steve weighs approximately a pound - it doesn't feel like there's anything to lift, really.)

Steve doesn't even fight it, he's too tired; he just curls up a little bit more, huffs a sigh into Bucky's chest, folds his arms over his own. "I could walk, y'know."

"Yeah, I know, but you won't if you don't have to, so I may as well carry you." Bucky stands up fully and walks to the bedroom, shifting Steve's weight in his arms to turn out the light.

"Ugh... I gotta finish my project - art class t'morrow, you know that -"

“I gotta say, I don’t think it’ll make much of a difference. I mean - you know Jenny loves you, right? I don’t really think she’s gonna care all that much about whether my eyes are the right shade of gray.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “I’m well aware, asshole. Sorry if I’m not tryna slack off for this class - she’s already letting me in for cheaper than she should, I don’t want to take advantage of her.”

Bucky dumps him on the bed, tugging off Steve’s pants and shirt. “Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

Steve huffs out a long sigh, sinking into the mattress. He rolls over. “Mmmf.”

“Uh-huh.”

Steve shoves an arm out, flailing it around until Bucky grabs it, and then he pulls (with a surprising amount of strength, considering the size of him) Bucky into bed. “G’night,” he says.

He twists as Bucky watches, not moving, just watching Steve make himself comfortable. Eventually, they end up so that Steve’s back is facing him, pressed all along his front, knees curled up somewhere by his chest.

Bucky huffs out a breath, smiling helplessly. “Night, Stevie.”

#my fic #partlycharlie #marvel #mcu #stucky #i'm so excited #lines don't have ends #fth

1 note · View note

starspaces · 5 years

Text

falsettos tour first preview

ok so i went to see falsettos yesterday & now that i’ve slept on my thoughts, i felt like i should share the things i noticed ✨✨

act one:

- the cast is literally amazing. i mean, max von essen AND eden espinosa??? heck!! thatcher jacobs played jason when i watched it (the other jason is jim kaplan and i think i saw him downstairs but he looked busy) and he’s actually adorable, nick blaemire is such a fun & fed-up mendel, nick adams’s singing? amazing

- the dancing in four jews is A+++

- the people sitting behind me were fangirling so hard over eden ;; “i can just hear defying gravity”

- my ap lit teacher was also there and he may have been playing a drinking game every time he saw smth gay, so i don’t blame him for falling asleep during act two

- mendel so obviously wants trina to actually put her head in his hands in love is blind but she just looks at him

- whizzer’s “hepatitis, hepatitis?” always gets me

- marvin flicks whizzer in the head after the “don’t/won’t” part in thrill of first love

- “what is this, polyblend?”

- mendel juggles trina’s neglige for a good 30 seconds

- i’m breaking down def got the most applause & laughs, eden did such a good job!!! (anyone who can belt with a banana in their mouth...true talent)

- jason sounds so confused and distressed when he sings “hello to my house” and he gives mendel the Noodliest Handshake

- trina holds “i’ll wait for you” for the longest time and stares directly at mendel as she goes offstage and mendel almost follows her out

- trina shimmies a little when she sings “chicken merengo”

- “mr mendel, as regarding your intentions to my mother” *mendel immediately makes for the door*

- instead of “washing your socks, jesus christ!” jason says “washing your socks, P.U.!” after sniffing them

- when mendel is trying to figure out why the hell he’s talking about biblical times, marvin sarcastically mouths “you’re doing great”

- marvin bending over when whizzer says “asses bared”

- whizzer just absolutley yeets his suitcase after marvin hands it to him

- the games i play? phenomenal

- there was a noticeable gasp from the audience when marvin hits trina ;; marvin goes “no, i would never-”, mendel hugs her protectively then trina goes to hug jason (who is visibly terrified) and comfort him

- max was for real crying in father to son it was Very Emotional and he kept on wiping his eyes hdshfh

act two:

- cordelia & charlotte’s entrance got the 2nd most applause

- the band got the appreciation they deserved and you could see them up until the second half of act two

- year of the child was so good, jason jamming out to his walkman was rlly cute and so was the conga line

- trina tsks after mendel’s “i know more than you do”

- jason being so distracted by girls and not paying the slightest attention the baseball game and the others collectively wincing

- it is def not believable that nick adams or andrew rannells has a bald spot, so like, does whizzer really have any imperfections?

- trina doing her workout in time to mendel’s singing was 10/10

- max looks SO skinny next to nick during the racquetball game just bc nick is Ripped™️ (also max couldn’t spin the racquet it was rlly funny)

- marvin and trina slowly inching closer to jason at the end of the fight, both ready to strangle him,

- mendel herding marvin & trina offstage in the middle of everyone hates his parents: “go, go call the applebaums! get out! you’re almost there!”

- mendel’s failed cartwheel: rated 10 awkward tumbles out of 10

- whizzer trying play off feeling bad in more racquetball followed by marvin’s soft as heck “do you know all i want is you” destroyed me

- instead of laughing after mendel’s “or else the hydrants moved” cordelia says “is that supposed to be a joke?”

- ahh mendel was so angry and dejected as he sings “why don’t we tell him, that we don’t have the answers” ;; he was sitting cross-legged on the floor with his head in his hands

- i have no words to describe unlikely lovers y’all

- marvin’s facial expressions during something bad is happening reprise like...realizing that whizzer is most likely going to die and he might die too,,,god

- charlotte was so freaking proud of cordelia making good food

- jason looking at whizzer as whizzer leaves -- like, torn between finishing his bar mitzvah and going with whizzer -- was actually heartbreaking

- what would i do was even more heartbreaking & marvin starts sobbing into his hands at the end until the beginning of falsettoland reprise

- there were so many audience members crying while mendel sang falsettoland (reprise)

- final bow: adorable. max blew a kiss to the audience as he exited

- i got to meet the cast at stagedoor and they were so nice!! i made them little laminated badges and nick a. was like?? so surprised when i was like yes you can keep the fanart i made for you and max hugged me after i gave him art so that was pretty cool

- for the ppl who are going and want to know what merch you can get: the ones I can remember are: two t-shirts (one with the falsettos logo, one with a rainbow flag w/ “love can tell a million stories” underneath), mugs, heart keychains, baseballs, baseball caps, scripts, magnets, and CDs!! they’re all really cute

- basically essentially it was an amazing experience and i’m so glad i got to go and i’m super excited for everyone else who gets to go see it!!

#falsettos #toursettos #falsettos broadway #falsettos bway #falsettos tour #max von essen #eden espinosa #nick adams #nick blaemire #thatcher jacobs #bryon hamarie #audrey cardwell #first preview #jay rambles #im sorry this is so long sdfajg;kl

41 notes · View notes

westcoastbroadway1443 · 5 years

Text

Welcome to Falsetto Notes

aka my thoughts on Falsettos as I actually finally listen to/watch the whole thing for the first time. I love what I’ve heard of of the show but, like with a lot of shows, I haven’t had the time to actually just sit and absorb the whole thing. Probably nobody is gonna read this, but like what the hell, it’ll be fun to do. So here I go..

"Four Jews in a Room Bitching" – I don’t know what’s happening but I’m loving the beards and the shimmying. Also dig the set, I’m a sucker for a simple set.

"A Tight-Knit Family" – Hearing a lot of bitching but not a lot of funny there, Marv

"Love is Blind" – It’s nice to see the couples set up right at the top here. Mendel and Trina, Whizzer and Marvin, Jason and a chess board. Also where I begin to fall in love with Mendel, love the way he says “alibi” and “I admit I admire you”. Also Andrew’s face during “Hepatitis”, and having Marv and Whizzer just like low key making out in the background. Good job y’all. And praise to Stephanie J Block for having to rattle off super fast lyrics, my brain cannot. I’m starting to realize William Finn doesn’t fuck around here.

"Thrill of First Love" – The second song I ever heard from the musical because...well my two fav broadway guys are flirting, I looked it up. I am so very very gay, and Andrew Rannells is so pretty he sometimes makes me forget I’m not into men. This song somehow manages to make me feel “yipes, maybe you guys shouldn’t be together” and “marvin/whizzer 4eva” at the same time? Their chemistry is pretty fantastic and this is a hard relationship to portray. You see Trina so vulnerable in the last song and already feel bad for her and kind of hate Marvin and don’t know what the hell to feel about Whizzer.

"Marvin at the Psychiatrist (A Three-Part Mini-Opera)" – See this is why family members shouldn’t see the same therapist unless it’s family therapy. Also if I ever had a therapist do weird hypno-hands at me there’s like 70% chance I would not go back. Part 3 is probably my fav.

"Everyone Tells Jason to See a Psychiatrist" – Because of the bad quality of the video I can’t tell if Jason’s shirt is Saturn with a bunch of starts behind it or all of that plus a weird space wizard in the corner. Kids in musicals tend to annoy me, but I like Jason. He’s a little shit, but in a believable way. I wish we got more of him and Whizzer’s relationship to know why he’d want to talk to him, I mean maybe we do and I just haven’t heard it. And Whizzer’s nervous little wave to Trina is everything.

"This Had Better Come to a Stop" – Yes! Drag him! I would conservatively watch like 3 hours of just Trina and Whizzer drinking wine and shitting on Marvin. Songs like this make think of the fact that this was one of Christian Borle’s dream roles and he’s doing great, but I’m curious what drew him to it, I mean I only know him from funnier roles.

"I'm Breaking Down" – Somebody give Trina a hug please, and give Stephanie awards.

"Jason's Therapy" – This role is pretty demanding for a kid since you have to be on stage constantly and I think he does a good job. CONFIRM: There is a space wizard on that shirt. I also wish therapy was as easy as somebody snapping you into a trance, doing air sax, and telling you to feel alright. And Jason encourage Mendel is the cutest.

"A Marriage Proposal" – And I complete the process of falling in love with Mendel, and Brandon Uranowitz. For real this song is adorable and will probably be stuck in my head for awhile.

"A Tight-Knit Family (Reprise)" - NOBODY ASKED YOU, MARVIN!

"Trina's Song" – Trina, darling, go chill with the act 2 lesbians. Fuck these guys.

"March of the Falsettos" – ...ok

"Trina's Song" (Reprise) – Trina rockin a new outfit and new outlook. Rock on, girl

"The Chess Game" – I’ve heard William Finn being praised by Broadway peeps I like and I can see why, I love the way this song is just this verbal dance that keeps building. Also Whizzer’s face during the second chorus is perfect. As much as yeah, Marvin ain’t exactly mr popular in any viewers mind right now, you do see how both their frustrations lead to this point.

"Making a Home" – This is pretty and everyone in this song deserves good things

"The Games I Play" – I feel like Act 1 Whizzer is kind of hard to pinpoint as a character, what he’s feeling and what he wants, but this song was beautiful. I feel like I only ever hear Andrew doing like those big belting songs but this quieter and lower one is just fantastic. Have all the range, young man.

"Marvin Goes Crazy" or "Marvin Hits Trina" – Jason’s face through this song breaks my heart. Mendel, kick that man out your house and change the locks. But I also like that he just holds Trina and Jason, he’s focused on his fam. And Trina’s reaction makes me feel like it had happened at least once before, and Whizzer’s face made me thing with him it had happened a LOT before.

"I Never Wanted to Love You" – MARVIN, YOU LEFT! You’re in demand? Bitch, calm down

"Father to Son" – Jason things about boobies for the first time, and Marvin tries to say oopsie I love you after smacking his mom in the face. Ok, but I do like this song. And I do think this is Marvin trying to change and not be such trash. You get some points for effort.

"Welcome to Falsettoland" – This song is weird and all over the place but I kinda love it. And surprise lesbians! Always welcome!!

"The Year of the Child" – lol I grew up in a very Jewish neighborhood and this is just giving me middle school flashbacks. “The whole things voodoo and I know more than you do” - Mendel (my current fav). Jason’s wee prayer dance, that is all. Also I think I want to befriend my new neighbors just so I can dance into their apartment announcing myself as “the lesbian from next door”.

"Miracle of Judaism" – Hey bro, what happened to chess?

"The Baseball Game" – I had heard this song before and it made me cackle. My poor parents watching me play soccer as a small. And Mendel being the hardest cheerleader! Also how often to Jason and Whizzer talk? What do they talk about? I want these answers. And Marvin quit your flirting, you almost look cute.

"A Day in Falsettoland" – The first song I ever heard, cause Tony’s. Love everything of this song. No notes. Y’all keep being great

"The Fight" / "Everyone Hates His Parents" – I love how over it Mendel gets. His relationship with Jason is one of my fav things in this. “I’m a psychiatrist! Get lost!”

"What More Can I Say" – Who knew? If you’re sweet and not controlling things are nicer in your relationships.

"Something Bad Is Happening/More Racquetball " – DAMN YOU ACT 2 CURSE! WHY YOU ALWAYS GOTTA BE SAD! And hey, Tracie Thoms in a musical that actually shows some of the fucked up that was the AIDS crisis? First time for everything! (Ok that’ll be my only knock on Rent) And fuck you for reprising welcome to falsettoland, I wasn’t ready to get teary yet. Whizzer’s little “I’m sorry”

"Holding to the Ground" – One of the things I like about this show is it doesn’t make anything easy and it lets its characters be real people. Trina is in a fucked up position when it comes to Whizzer, but she still feels some concern and I like that there’s a whole song for how off everything still feels for her.

"Days Like This" – Songs this bittersweet shouldn’t be allowed to be this pleasant sounding. Everyone is just so kind in this song I don’t know what to do with it but I’m gonna keep staying in this sort of state of almost crying.

"Cancelling the Bar Mitzvah" – Ugh Trina and Mendel are trying so hard.

"Unlikely Lovers" – And then Whizzer got better and they all moved in together to be fantastic gay housemates. Yep. That’s what happened. Seriously how’d we get from Thrill of First Love to here?

"Another Miracle of Judaism" – God: the big psychiatrists in the sky

"Something Bad is Happening (Reprise)" - Look when I was mad at Marvin last act I didn’t actually want him to die..

"You Gotta Die Sometime" – Again not the kind of song I’ve heard Rannells do before and I love it. I think that’s what messes with me about this musical, it stars two people I’ve mostly only seen do comedy and now they’re fucking with me and making me cry, it’s rude.

"Jason's Bar Mitzvah" – Oh fuck you Jason. Not really, you’re a doll I just don’t like crying in my room alone at like 4 am. Son of Trina, son of Marvin, son of Whizzer, son of Mendel.

"What Would I Do?" – I was ok until Whizzer started singing too. Then I was less ok.

"Falsettoland (Reprise)" - Marvin finally falling apart was hard, and was he crying because he lost Whizzer or because he knows Jason is going to lose him soon too?

I really enjoyed this, I’m glad I finally listened to/watched it all. As somebody who used to really not enjoy musicals besides Phantom of the Opera in middle school, I always like finding more songs to love. If for some reason you scanned through this and want me to force myself to do it again with another musical, toss a title at me.

#musical #broadway #musical review #Falsettos

19 notes · View notes

hockey-jews · 6 years

Text

For anyone who wants to learn more about Judaism! Also, kind of a post about how to deal with some Things and Stuff. This is a long post so I’ll put it under a read more for those interested:

This is really for an anonymous message I got that described struggles with things that I think many of us struggle with or have in the past: not being “Jewish enough” in the eyes of other Jews due to your heritage being on the “wrong” side (read; on your father’s side), yet still experiencing antisemitism from goyim. Not learning very much, if anything, about Judaism as a child but wanting to learn more as an adult. Not being comfortable with some traditions or laws of Judaism because you are a) a feminist b) LGBT c) an atheist. Living in a place with few to no Jewish spaces. Not feeling welcome in the Jewish community due to any or all of these things.

Book recs!

If you’re the kind of person who enjoys reading (or can at least tolerate it) I highly recommend these books! They’re all books that I have either read/started reading/or plan on reading. (Please keep in mind that none of these are Jewish texts such as the Torah or the Talmud and that I do understand the importance of such religious texts but am not recommending them because I feel those are obvious sources of information)

A Bride for One Night if you aren’t familiar with the Talmud, it’s a collection of writings and explanations of Jewish laws and traditions and it’s old as balls. The author of this book, Ruth Calderon, takes a bunch of Talmudic stories and makes them into these wonderful beautiful stories that are easier to read than the original ones from the 3rd and 6th centuries. Even if you don’t know anything about the Talmud this book is so fascinating and fun to read.

The G-d Who Hates Lies is literally perfect for you if you have issues with how women are viewed and treated in the most traditional sense of Judaism. It’s a really great criticism by people who are extremely qualified to make those criticisms (both are rabbi’s and I think they both have doctorates in theology, specifically Modern Orthodox Judaism, which makes for a really cool viewpoint). I can’t find anything about the third author of this book, who is a woman, but it’s comforting to know that a woman had a part in this as well. Obviously these people love Judaism, they just want to see it adapt to modernity. Just in general it’s a really thoughtful book that challenges dogma.

Jewish Literacy was recommended by an anon (thank you!) The rest of the title is “The Most Important Things to Know about The Jewish Religion, Its People and Its History” so like. Ya get what ya see here folks. HOWEVER I did see a review that mentions there is some Islamophobia and hostility towards Jews who are antizionist. It does genuinely look informative and I haven’t read it myself so I can’t attune to whether or not that review is accurate, but maybe be cautious if you read this in knowing that the author may not be objective.

Book of Mercy made me openly weep and feel something tender and weird in my heart and like. Okay so it’s not informative so much as it’s a book of poetry by Leonard Cohen (he was Jewish if you didn’t know!) He calls his poems “modern psalms” and honestly this would be a good read even if you aren’t religious at all because his writing is just so gorgeous. But it does have references to Judaism and his identity as a Jew

Understanding Judaism is really a “building blocks” kind of book to me, if that makes sense? It’s really informative but also really basic and is fantastic for people who know very little about Judaism or just want a well presented understanding of the core aspects of the Jewish religion. Even if you aren’t a Jew who’s looking to learn or someone who is considering conversion it’s still a good book if you’re interested in world religions regardless of your faith or lack thereof. (man I’m starting to sound pretentious lmao I just mean like, if you’re an atheist or Catholic or whatever, it’s pretty interesting and also this guy is kinda dorky-funny so it makes for an easier read than some other books about religion)

Shmooze I think this is meant to be more for a group to read an discuss, and like, also maybe meant for a younger audience (I’m talking about teenagers so not really that young, but if you’ve been reading dull infodumps by 90 y/o Jewish rabbis with doctorate degrees this is gonna be a change of pace lmao) I should mention that I’ve only read like two pages of this book because I saw it at Barnes and Noble and just kinda briefly checked it out so I don’t know a ton about it but it stuck in my head and the reviews look positive so

Obvious I don’t think you have to read all of those because I haven’t even read all of those so maybe just check one of them out if it seems like it could be helpful to you.

Judaism here on tumblr dot com:

Okay so like. This is really my personal diced onion so take it however you will but keep in mind that this really only reflects things I’ve come across and how I feel.

Obviously there are a lot of really great blogs about Judaism but I don’t have any specific ones to recommend I’m sorry :O I really really hate ~Discourse~ and like, in-depth arguments about the Holocaust because I get so wrapped up in it and let’s be honest, tumblr is all about the discourse and ignorance. That being said, I like to follow other people who are Jewish and blog about whatever because that usually leads to safer discussions and also is a great way to find really helpful thoughts and discussions by other Jews about topics like being LGBT, being a woman, being an atheist, etc. These are just nice to read and also if you aren’t familiar with certain Yiddish or Hebrew terms that are commonly used it’s a good way to see how and when they’re used in certain contexts.

I’m going to tag anything like this that I post here as “good info” just so me and anyone who wants can find this stuff easier. No they won’t necessarily have anything to do with hockey.

Also please be very careful when you’re reading a post that is presenting certain things as facts, always double check what someone is saying because misinformation is spread so quickly, and it’s almost always unintentional. The things that I find genuinely helpful/safe/fun involve opinions, common feelings and experiences, little personal stories and jokes, cool stuff like that.

I’m Jewish on my father’s side :0

Me too boo. Unfortunately that’s an unending discussion, and one that is often held by matrilineal Jews and doesn’t actually include patrilineal Jews, nor does it consider our thoughts/feelings/experiences. Without sounding like an idiot, it is absolutely buckwild to me that there are people who have been raised Jewish, have never known anything other than Jewish tradition, have been subject to antisemitism, but still aren’t considered Jewish.

And then this is where I see matrilineal Jews who hold this viewpoint bring up Reform Judaism, which is one of the three main branches of Judaism and does recognize patrilineall Jews as Jews. I’ve seen some discrepancy as to whether or not patrilineal Jews had to have been raised Jewish in order to be considered Jewish. This is all well and good for Jews like me whose family practices Reform Judaism, but for patrilineal Jews who wish to practice in an Orthodox or Conservative synagogue, it gets tricky.

Basically, yes this is a huge topic that inspires a lot of disagreement, and that sucks, but here’s what it comes down to. No one else is allowed to make you feel inferior because of your heritage. So many people, even modern Orthodox Jews, recognize that certain aspects of Judaism need to adapt to today’s society. I don’t want to offend anyone here, but I really do feel that most matrilineal Jews who don’t consider us Jewish are extremely hypocritical (for a lot of reasons but mostly like...y’all really follow every aspect of Jewish Law? Like do you really? All of it? Girl do u? Or are you maybe just being elitist). Learning about your heritage, talking about shared experiences, combating antisemitism, these are all things that are fair game for you (especially for the anon who said they were atheist) and going to Shabbat services, praying, participating in holy days. That’s all yours if you want it, bubbeleh.

Can I be an atheist Jew?

Sure you can! I, personally, am not an atheist so I wasn’t comfortable finding specific resources about this because I don’t really know much about it? It’s fine with me if you’re atheist that’s none of my business, I just don’t want to direct you to a bad source. But yes, many Jews are atheist, many are secular, I’m sure there are many here on tumblr. It’s absolutely okay, Judaism is an ethnoreligion, and while you may experience Judaism different than the rest of us, you’re still a Jew and still belong.

Here’s an excerpt from a short lil synopsis of Judaism:

These three connotations of Judaism as a monotheistic system, as a literary tradition, and as a historical culture are sometimes viewed separately. For example, there are Jews who see themselves as culturally Jewish, but who are also non-religious or atheist, often identifying more strongly with Jewish “peoplehood” than with traditional understandings of God and Torah. Even so, all Jews would recognize that these three points of reference have shaped and guided Jewish experience through the ages.

Jewish “peoplehood” that they talk about is like. Culture, customs, food, art, history, etc.

One last little note on this, you’ll hear a lot that Judaism focuses more on actions than on beliefs. This is an excellent article that is pretty short and worth reading that I want to include because I think that even if you don’t believe in G-d or even if you are seriously questioning, the focus on just. Doing good. Actively doing good things and trying to be a good person (I know that’s objective but bear with me) is a such a huge part of Judaism that you can try to incorporate into your life without having to subscribe to any sort of dogma or beliefs that you don’t hold. “Judaism is certainly a faith-based tradition. Belief in G-d is central to our religion. It just isn’t a prerequisite. If you are Jewish, you are so regardless of belief.”

But I’m a feminist....

As you should be. This is probably another personal statement you gon’ wanna take with a grain of salt, but I think Judaism, especially in the last 50 years or so, has made huge strides in this. Especially Reform Judaism, but that kind of goes without saying.

Example, my synagogue was founded as a Conservative synagogue. Our website still says we are. I’m not actually sure tbqh, like I said, my family are Reform Jews, and so are most other families in our congregation I think but this is literally the only synagoge for like hundreds of miles so. Anyways our rabbi is female (Rabbi Shaina!) and she does great work, we all love her. She’s really adament on teaching kids that gender shouldn’t keep you from anything, that Judaism is for all Jews, that it should enhance our lives. She wears a tallis, lays her tefillin, and reads from the Torah.

My point here is that while this isn’t like, the end of misogyny in Judaism as we know it, it’s still a big deal in most religions to have a woman as their religious leader, essentially a position of religious power. For men to accept a woman as a religious leader is not something that is super common in most religions. And we’re like, a tiny congregation over a hundred miles away from anyone else, technically a Conservative synagogue, that’s super loving and accepting of a feminist running our shit... female rabbis are super common and I think it speaks a lot to how we’re progressing as a religion. Reform Judaism is going to be your best bet when it comes to tolerance but knowing that all three of the main branches are progressing, at least with this, is really comforting to me.

However, that’s an extremely one sided view and doesn’t really show the issue as a whole. This super short article (? not sure) is a bit pessimistic in my mind but presents the other side of things and gives a good explanation of the traditional sources of misogyny in Judaism, so this could further your understanding as well.

By no means are we perfect but we’re workin on it. Look into Jewish Feminism though, if you have the time. That article is just a lil intro to the topic.

I’m Q*eer/LGBT and I’m not sure y’all are gonna be cool with that...

Well this one’s a doozy.

I’ll kick this right off by presenting an article that is objective and does not reflect the author’s opinion, just lays out the issues at hand. It also has some links to other good pieces, including one cool story about a transgender man, Rafi Daugherty, embracing his role as a father and details his experience with pregnancy and giving birth. I should mention that I am cisgender so I’m interpreting this article through a different point of view, but it really does make a point of celebrating Rafi and his daughter and sharing their story. It does include a little cultural background context, but this is a positive story that I think deserves to be shared :)

Then there’s this statement from the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism that confirms its absolute acceptance and support of LGBT Jews.

On the other side of things, there are still homophobic and intolerant Jews. Conversion camps were not just a Christian thing, there were Jewish conversion camps as well, which is horrific. Idk what to say because I think homophobia and transphobia in Judaism is really similar to what you would find in Christian settings.

I’m bisexual and I feel completely welcomed by other Jews who know this about me, and I certainly don’t feel any less Jewish because of it.

I live in a place where Jewish spaces are rare.

I really hate to disappoint with this one but I don’t have any specific sources or anything like that. Alls I got to say is that’s why the internet is so great? I really don’t feel like that’s helpful at all, but I think for the most part, the Jewish side of tumblr is pretty accepting and welcoming. Obviously that’s not always gonna be true though idkdjaskfl;dj

I spose with this one I wanna encourage anyone who has any good resources for involvement or something like that to reply to this post or drop by my inbox and let me know! Or maybe just your thoughts on some Jewish spaces you’ve encountered?

I hope this was helpful

In conclusion, don’t let anyone make you feel less Jewish. Your sexual identity, gender identity, and even your belief in G-d doesn’t take away from your Jewishness. I’d like to say that since I started delving into Judaism a little more I’ve found a lot of peace. And yeah that sounds cliche and also vague but it’s really a breath of fresh air to learn about my family and know more about this community. Also if you’re comfortable with or willing to try prayer, even if you’re atheist, it can be a good way to decompress sometimes, a really therapeutic kind of way to voice your thoughts and feelings and reflect on them.

There’s so much information and culture to delve into but it’s so so worth it to learn and I’m really happy for you that you’re interested in getting more in touch with your Jewish roots.

If any of these links don’t work and you’d like to see them let me know!

#this took 78 years sorry #ok for anyone to rb #there are TYPOS galore I'm sorry #judaism

30 notes · View notes

kamiyu910 · 6 years

Note

"everything not black or tan as demonic" have you...have you ever watched American TV, movies, or ads? Have you not seen the white actors playing at least 75% of roles? Have you not seen decades of PoC being cast as thugs or magically wise non-characters? Have you not seen reality TV capitalizing on the most stereotypical "black behavior" they can find, editing it to look more extreme when necessary? What reality do you live in

I’m not really sure what post you’re referencing, but…

“at least 75% of roles”

Well looks like they’re under represented then, since white people, including white Hispanics, make up around 79% of the population in the US. (it’s more if you go by Tumblr definitions of white…). If you go by actual stats, black people are over represented based on percentage by population, but Asians, Hispanics, and Native Americans are very under represented. If you go by the UK, I believe their white population is over 80%.

Have you noticed that Germans are portrayed as evil villains? Irish are typically low lifes in the mob scene along with the Italians. Don’t get me started on Russians or Greeks. What about people who have really curly hair, freckles, wear glasses? Typically portrayed as the geeky nerd who is good at homework and is forced to change their appearance (like straighten their hair, get contacts, wear makeup).

Over 90% of the population looks nothing like that Hollywood look, and Hollywood bases everything on stereotypes. Hot blond chick is usually a stupid spoiled brat type, jocks are constantly stereotyped, everything is a stereotype in the majority of things put out. Most things put out are trash.

Back around the 1980′s, I believe it was, this strange idea started infiltrating the black community that doing anything that could be considered white was bad. These days, we hear “education is for white people” all the time being told to these intelligent kids who want to learn. They get picked on for wanting to be taught, or for liking music that isn’t “black” enough. It’s considered bad to be well spoken, even. I watched my friend get ridiculed by his own sister for not speaking “ghetto.” She said he sounded too “white.” He also got picked on for liking poetry.

That is a mindset that yeah, Hollywood kinda has, and it’s hard to say whether or not it’s a product of Hollywood, or that Hollywood is just reacting to it (I think we can make a case for the hip hop, gangster rap culture being a big part of it). There used to be great shows, like Fresh Prince, Family Matters, Big Al, stuff like that, things that encouraged kids to learn and grow and avoid the street life. I don’t know what happened.

I try very hard to avoid TV these days. I went to college and studied the entertainment industry. I wanted a job in it… but it’s trash. Reality TV is utter tripe. Most of those shows are scripted, even if they pretend not to be. There isn’t anything good and wholesome on. It’s just drama and the more drama the better ratings, it seems. Every show I liked was canceled so I just watch the old stuff like Star Trek, Stargate, Beauty and the Beast (1987), etc. Where people were treated like people, like individuals with their own personalities and not just copy pasted pandering bullshit. Where they had faults and didn’t have to be perfect to be loved.

Movies are recycled garbage. Hollywood has lost its originality. Shape of Water is just Splash. They even brought out Ben Hur again, and it flopped. I hope Hollywood dies. I frankly hate it. It’s full of nepotism, corruption, and greed, with some good people still trying to do right, but that’s hard. Everything is pandering to a very specific crowd, which happens to be a minority, a very privileged minority no less, and they sit in their fancy mansions patting themselves on the back for pretending they’re putting “representation” out there when all their doing is shitting on people.

It’s also very in vogue to shit on white people. I haven’t seen so much racist bullshit in years, and it’s being called “progressive” and shit, like No, my parents fought against this shit, and now y’all are bringing it back like it’s perfectly fine? People are supporting segregation again, so long as it’s white people being excluded. I have a folder that’s full of anti-white headlines where if you change out “white” or “male” for something like Jew, it sounds like nazi propaganda. They’re changing real historical people’s races just to fill a quota, as if that’s somehow cool, instead of showcasing real non-white people who fought against the odds and made something of themselves in history. There are tons of people they could be focusing on, but instead they’d rather erase white people.

They claim they fight for non-white people, but they don’t. They claim to try to make all their precious characters perfect (because if someone ain’t perfect, there’s a shit storm that follows! Oh no, a Valkyrie was portrayed as a raging alcoholic? Heaven forbid!). There is so much hypocrisy, I’m just fucking sick of all of it. I’m sick of people claiming bad stereotypes are good so long as the people are a certain skin color/race. I’m tired of people claiming it’s ok to demonize a certain race, while you can’t even criticize others without a blacklash, I’m tired of the inequality.

People should treat everyone the same. That’s the world I grew up being told I’d get to live in, and seeing it on TV with everyone treating everyone else like just one of the family, not caring about skin color. I watched shows and read books that had great strong female characters, though the only people who were really ever like me weren’t like me in looks, just the way they acted, their personality… (like Data from Star Trek… sigh). The one show I really related to, the main character was a white male, and they utterly ripped my heart out and stomped on it with how they ended it, and with Michael Clarke Duncan dying shortly after… (the Finder).

I hate TV. I hate Hollywood. I hate the media and the news. I hope it all burns to the ground and gets replaced by something actually worthwhile. All those privileged untalented fucks shitting out garbage need to go to make room for people who have great story ideas and actually well written characters. Get rid of the shitheads who think they can just dump out some poorly written character and get kudos because oh noes, the character is some sort of minority! Like the fucking Ghostbusters 2016 that they tried to shove down my throat as if it wasn’t a horrible disgrace to all the strong female characters of the past. They can fuck right off.

#anonynous #anon #I have a fever #I'm tired #I don't give a shit #Hollywood #Hollywood is a dung hill #pile of shit #fuck off right to hell #diversity is a scam these days #it's just cheaply shat out bullshit

28 notes · View notes

progressivejudaism · 6 years

Note

I promise this is a real thing. I am not Jewish. My wife is Jewish. The sperm donor we chose for our child was Jewish. I carried our child. Does this mean that my child is Jewish?

Hi there!

Thank you for your interesting message. Mazel Tov on your new{?} baby! I hope that your entire family is happy and healthy!

Isn’t Jewish identity rather complicated? I am going to attempt to break down your question as simply as possible to give you a clear answer.

According to the non-American Reform Movement, Conservative/Masorti Movement, and Orthodoxy, your child is not Jewish. For these groups, Jewish identity is given to a child via their biological mother (or in the case of a transgender man, biological father). The donor’s sperm would not a part of the equation.

According to the American Reform Movement, your child would only be considered Jewish if you and your wife choose to raise them as a Jew in a Jewish home. (If you are curious about what that might look like, please contact your local rabbi or cantor, or feel free to shoot me a direct message). Again, the donor’s sperm is not a part of the equation- but not for the same reasons. In the above case, the donor’s sperm is not a part of the equation because Jewish identity is passed via the womb. In the American Reform Movement, the donor’s Jewish identity does not matter because he is not the child’s parent. In the American Reform Movement, Jewish identity is defined as having “at least one Jewish parent” and being raised in a Jewish home.

I have some clarifying questions for you!

1) Would you be interested in making sure that your child is Jewish according to the non-American Reform Movement, Conservative/Masorti Movement, and Orthodoxy? You might want to speak to a local rabbi or cantor, even a local American Reform clergy person, who can help you find a mikveh and a moyelif needed to make your child’s Jewish identity official.

2) Would you be interested in learning how to raise a Jewish home? Again- please contact your local rabbi or cantor, they would LOVE to help you.

3) If you and your wife believe that raising your child Jewish is important but in the American Reform Movement, I still strongly recommend #1 for your family. You never know who your child might fall in love with one day. I would hate for their Jewish identity to be questioned by a rabbi about to do their wedding! (It’s a good safety net)

4) Are you totally confused with any of this? Do you and/or your wife need to chat about your options/learn about your options further? I would be happy to assist y’all! Just send me a direct message. I would be more than happy to support you, your wife, and your new baby!

Good luck, friend!

#ask #jewish identity #jewish id #jewish #judaism #jumblr #identity #wa

29 notes · View notes

noexit-ff · 6 years

Text

44. Part 2

Walking behind Chris making my way to our room, Chris has booked all of this so I don’t know what he has done “you want me to hold your bag for you” Chris asked looking behind him, smiling lightly at Chris shaking my head “this place is far out, I am tired of walking” we picked up the keys and we are still walking to the room “we are here baby, I wanted to get the best for us” watching Chris unlock the room door “I told some lies when I booked though, I mean they should have thought I am Chris Brown and we been married but no, they believed me” he pushed the door open “after you” he gestured, what has he done now. Looking down at the marble flooring “roses on the floor?” I chuckled “I said it’s our honeymoon, they believed it so they dumb as fuck” what is my husband like “I don’t know what they did though, I told you it’s a classy dick appointment like I said” following the line of roses “it’s sweet though Chris, I love when you do things like this. It’s romantic” looking around the bedroom “this is so nice” my smile grew “the bed is huge too, I am here for champagne though” placing my bag down and making my way to the bottle, I am going to open this now “no, wait” Chris held the bottle “don’t open it, we going out for some food first” pulling a face at Chris “really? I am not dressed for a meal, I still have what I wore for the game. I didn’t bring any dresses with me, why didn’t you say?” Chris shrugged, letting him place the champagne back in the bucket of ice “come, you look beautiful anyways” he held my hand pulling me back out of the room.

Chris has really thought this through “it’s so late, it’s only us two here” looking over at the beach front “I know, I paid them to keep it open for us” he said, I sighed out “it’s beautiful, the palm trees and the lights. You really making me the happiest wife in the world” I am going to give him a good night, he deserves “you deserve it, you deserve more than what I am doing. You gave me a whole new meaning like you said, I didn’t think when you told you was pregnant it would have changed me this way. I was a guy that was pretty lonely, I had nothing but the art I drew and people I paid for. I ain’t once thought of doing graffiti in our home, that’s our family home. Maurice has really changed me to be a whole different nigga, I just want to be at home. I don’t want trouble even though my past be chasing me, it’s still there but I am running, I will make it out of my past. I know it” Chris rubbed his chin, he has confused me now “how is your past still around? Why don’t I know this” Chris licked his lips smiling “I protect you Robyn, I don’t want that shit coming to you or making you think about me. Just some shit happened when I went to the studio a few days ago, you know. Sinko was there and I just felt like it was a set up.”

That stupid ass ex friend of his “you never admitted to what happened, you beat him didn’t you?” till this day he has never said it, I don’t know why he won’t say it “I did, I beat him. I was so angry, he was the guy that was setting me up, the same nigga that watched me take drugs, fucked myself over. I was just so mad, I beat him. It’s not a good thing but I did it, I don’t want to tell my wife I did that. I would do anything to protect you from any mess and stress. I am thinking on what to do but I don’t want to run away from them, I ain’t scared of them” he has only verified what I knew “I understand, I never liked the guy. Your other friends, they are stupid but not malicious. I felt it” I paused thinking “I used to cringe when I read about you being in these gangs, I prayed that nothing ever happened to you. I was angry at you but I never wanted to see you hurt, I don’t think you should hide like you said but you need to change everything he knew about you, every place you and him went too. Start from there” I will kill Sinko myself if anything happens to Chris “would you like to order now?” the waiter asked, let us do that now.

I keep staring at my phone, I want to ring my mom or Joyce to know about Junior but I got to trust them “this steak is nice you know” I said trying to side track my mind from my son and Chris and these people after him “you love having any meat in your mouth” Chris blurted out, my eyes widened as I blinked at him “wow! You know damn well the only meat I had in my mouth is yours. I didn’t have anything in my mouth” I corrected him “nah, I didn’t mean it like that. I was just saying” Chris does not think when he speaks “I was speaking about the steak Robyn, come on. I ain’t say it like that” he is such a liar “Chris, just stop. You’re making it worse, you did not mean steak at all. It’s like me saying you love having fish in your mouth” Chris tilted his head “let’s not” he said quickly “we both did shit but Adam, and the jew are two people that really got to me” sitting back in the chair “why? I mean with Drake. I did nothing with him, I didn’t even date him. You started talking to him at one point” Chris put his hands up “to get to you, you changed your number on me. I hate him because he threw it in my face, publicly he did it and you still ignored me. Y’all was having the time of your life at award shows, you threw it to my face. Then he took my chin and then you still fucked with him” Chris is getting ever so heated “it made money, I didn’t purposely do it. Drake was just fun but you got to understand you was in a really bad bubble, I saw everything but it happened and look at us now, just to add I never had any other meat in my mouth. I am rather picky with that” I had to add that because I am not some hoe like everyone wants to make me out to be.

Picking up Chris’ sneakers from the sand, it’s late at night and he wants to walk on the beach but has ran off to throw rocks in the water. Picking up my sneakers also and walking slowly along the beach, it looks so beautiful at night but also creepy “did you see how far it went?” Chris jogged back over to me “no, I was busy seeing the weird guy down there staring at us” Chris took his sneakers from me “come” Chris turned his back towards me “let me carry to your destination queen” side eyeing him, he leaned down further “come on, climb onto me” rolling my eyes “what if you can’t carry me? My thighs might crush your ribs with your skinny ass” I know for a fact I am thicker than I am “shut up, just get on top” he really wants me to, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs hooked around his waist. Chris stood up and grunted out “wow, put me down” I spat, Chris busted out laughing “I am joking, you’re good babe and I am sorry about earlier. On god I didn’t want you to feel that way” Chris apologising, look at him “it’s ok handsome, I just want to leave our past in the past, where it belongs” pressing a kiss to the back of Chris’ head “it does, I don’t think I would have settled down. I know for a fact I would be lost, the only love of my life is you” tightening my arms around his neck, my face pressing just against the side of his face “do I feel a little heavy? Admit to it please, I know I am” Chris just laughed “you have more meat on you which I love, my meaty wife” he is so stupid, meaty wife.

Chris finally put me down “yo, my back” Chris placed his hand on his back “wow, don’t play. That is fine, we won’t have sex” Chris ran ahead of me “noo, I am good look I am running” I knew it “yeah, yeah. Just open the door baby” getting my phone out from my pocket “your mom called me, it’s late over there. I hope they are ok” calling Joyce back, Chris held the door open for me as I walked into the room “I bet Junior is awake for me, he wants daddy talk” Chris said behind me “it’s ok sweetie, you shouldn’t have called back. He fell asleep now, he kept on crying and not drinking his milk. Monica and I was losing our minds but we put music videos on of you and Chris and he remained quiet and drank his milk and then fell asleep” I breathed out a sigh of relief “he is ok right? Not in pain or upset?” my poor baby boy “he is fine now, he felt content seeing you both on TV and even hearing your voices. It comes in handy” smiling wide “he is missing us, well I will leave you both to it. Thank you for being there for us and him” slapping Chris’ hand away, I won’t have him undress me just yet “it’s ok good night” smiling lightly “night” disconnecting the call “my baby boy misses us while his dad is busy undressing me” Chris does not care, he wants me in that bed “I just need the toilet, wait” Chris is like a dog with a bone.

Robyn needs to quit playing and just let me fuck unless she don’t want to fuck, I mean why not. I got roses, champagne, I took her out to eat, this is annoying and I am bored of looking at Instagram. I miss Robyn filling my timeline full of pictures of Maurice. I might just get naked and wait on the bed for her. Tapping on the camera “are you taking a shit!?” I half shouted “I ain’t about to give you anal ma’am? Come on Robyn!” she mad annoying and taking so long “you got the shits!?” I rather she just told me “shut up!!” she screamed back at me, flicking the camera to my face and pressing record, sighing out “currently in Hawaii, with a bed full of rose petals” picking some of the petals at the side of me “waiting for Robyn for ten minutes, she ain’t even come out of the bathroom, I have been waiting for this night for months!!! I love my son with all of my heart but I need it, and when you know your wife’ body is so good. On god Rihanna’ body is so bomb naked and she ain’t giving me shit. I am bored too, I will document part two if I don’t get any” stopping the recording and typing out out a caption ‘Don’t have babies!!!’ pressing send, we going back to LA if she playing with me like this. The bathroom door unlocked finally, the door flew open and she stepped out of the bathroom. The biggest grin grew on my face, my eyes flowed down Robyn’ body with the tightness growing in my pants.

Robyn placed her leg just above the arm rest on the chair “do you like my outfit?” she smiled leaning down allowing her hair to flow down, I feel ever so thirsty. Blinking my eyes as I licked my lips, she has freshly had her pussy waxed. The two piece set made from sheer lace, the bra quarter-cut cup which made her boobs pour out, they barely fit, the suspender thong which is crotchless which let me catch a glimpse of heaven, those heels finish it off perfectly “you should have said” my voice sounding hoarse “you was all screaming and shouting, now you’re quiet. Well surprise baby” she placed her leg down “I want you to sit on this, come here” she gestured me over, she ain’t got to tell me twice. Nearly tripping over myself as I got off the bed “calm down” I was about to kiss her “I said sit down, not kiss me” she is killing me inside, walking around the chair and sitting down silently.

She came to stand right in front of me, placing her hands on either side of the chair armrest. She leaned down so our faces were only inches apart, my eyes jetted down to her cleavage before returning to her face “you bought this for me?” I asked, she bit into her bottom lip and nodded “just for you” my eyes went to her teeth as they scrapped against her lip, my lips parted as a small groan escaped me, I want her so bad. she brought her right hand to my stomach and started to walk her fingers up my body with each of her words “this… is… all… for… you” she reached my collarbone, she only let her index finger touch my skin. She slipped it up to the centre of my throat and under my chin, she brought her mouth to mine, stopping just before she touched my lips “all for me” I whispered “for you” she said just against my lips.

Robyn moved back from me, she is so bad “where are you going?” I said through gritted teeth, just watching her booty cheeks jiggle, she grabbed the bottle of champagne “a little thirsty” she ripped the foil from the top “shiiiit, I am too thirsty, damn. You playing with me, you can’t be walking around and not allow me to get a piece of the cake” Robyn popped open the bottle, Robyn shrugged as she drank from the bottle. Her legs are so long, her thighs get thick as you travel up. Robyn walked over to me, placing her legs on either side of me as she sat on my lap. She placed her hand just under my chin “open up” opening my mouth and my eyes never leaving hers, she poured the contents into my mouth. She moved the bottle back and wrapped her arms around my neck, swallowing down the contents and placing my hands behind her back. Pressing a kiss to Robyn’ neck but she moved back from me “what are you in the mood for” she keep running away I am about to pin her ass down “your pussy on my face, that is what I want” I straight up said “so it’s my choice” she said totally ignoring what I am saying.

Robyn twirled back around “okay then” Aaliyah - Rock The Boat started playing, I am here for this because I didn’t think she was going to do anything at all. When Robyn finally walked her beautiful ass over to me she straddled my lap, with her hands on the back of the chair. She leaned forward, letting her breasts brush against my chest. She then turned and sat down fully on my lap, she leaned back so she is pressed against my chest and turned her face into my neck while her hips grind in slow motion. The friction of her ass against my erection felt so unbelievable good, dry humping never felt so great. My head went back, my eyes shut and his mouth dropped open in a moan. She swirled her hips in time with the music, she blew air across my neck and made me shiver. Grinding myself against her “I just want to be inside of you so badly” her crotch rubbing right against my erection, she slipped off of my lap and onto her knees.

I am not even going to speak a word because my wife knows what she is doing, it’s been so damn long that I am going to explode at her lips just pressing kisses against my tip. She curls her fingers around my member and opens her mouth wide, sticking her tongue out in the process, teasing the tip. My hands clenched into a fist as Robyn took me into her mouth, this feeling I yearned for so long. Robyn slides her lips down my length, trying to swallow me whole. Robyn gagged slightly when my dick hit the back of her throat and she tried to pull away, but I held her head firmly in place. Robyn looked up at me, her hazel eyes beginning to water from the strain and whines deep in her throat. The dick in her mouth twitches against the flat of her tongue, heavy and hot, until I allow Robyn to slowly pull away. She purposely leaves the head of my dick nestled between her lips, feeling her tongue swirl around me.

“Ah, Fuck Robyn” I moaned out, running my fingers through her hair. I thrust my hips gently into Robyn’ mouth, loosening her stroking hand around my base and sucking more softly. I moaned out loudly when I watch just how much Robyn’ lips stretch to take all of me in her mouth. Her lips are puffy and red, but the best part is the eye contact Robyn gives. Her hazel eyes are hooded and wide “oh fuck, I am going to cum” Robyn moaned around my member, stroking me as she sucked. Feeling my member tremor, my toes curl and I came into her mouth “oh my” I moaned out, Robyn still sucking my member as I came.

I am done with Robyn’ teasing ass, I want in “I’ll be nice” I mumbled as I leaned down and kissed Robyn’ lips, my tongue finding hers, tangling with it as my free hand went to her hair. Robyn tugged at my tee, pulling it up “I just want you inside of me now” Robyn said yanking my tee off “you sure don’t seem it at times” pecking Robyn’ lips as I moved down her neck, a smirk played on my face as her breath got caught in her throat. She is now feigning for it, Robyn’ breathing hitched as I barely did anything. I started sucking on her neck, my fingers slid inside of her core. I slowly thrust my finger in and out of her, as she arched her back. Moving back from her neck, slowly kissing down her neck. Pressing kisses onto her chest and reaching above her boobs, my finger still thrusting inside of her “Chris!” Robyn moaned out, sucking on the skin just above her boob, feeling Robyn’ hands on the side of my head looking up at her letting the skin between my lips go. Robyn pulled me up, latching her lips onto mine as we kissed.

I quickly bared her breasts “I have been after these for so long” I openly admitted, these are the biggest I have seen them “the booty jiggle and titty jiggle are a blessing” Robyn placed her hand over her mouth “stop it” she said “wait” placing my hands together looking up “thank you god for making Robyn’ boobs larger than life, I feel ever so spoilt with the meal I will be having” feeling Robyn yanking at my arm “I swear to god” I snorted laughing, leaning down and closing my lips over her nipple “don’t you dare bite me, I need releasing anyways” moving my head back staring at Robyn “what now?” I am amazed “that is legit milk? How? Why can’t this be a lifetime thing? I am in shock. This shit is sweet, nah. I am shocked” I am amazed that her boobs have milk in them “I need to have this on my cereal, damn Robyn” she is amazing “does it taste like Barbados?” Robyn questioned “better than Barbados, this is heaven. I feel like when I die and I go heaven, this is the milk I will be having” Robyn busted out laughing “I love you, oh god” she said through her laughter. I leaned down and sucked again while she laughed, running my tongue around to sweep up all of the hot liquid that flowed out. With a few more pulls, I swallowed the liquid down before flicking the tip of my tongue over her swollen bud.

Robyn pulled me down to kiss her, my tongue tangled with hers before slowly dancing down her neck and then back to her lips. Robyn moaned into my ear, her arm going around my neck. Wrapping her legs around my waist, rubbing herself against my member. My tip grazing against her clit “who’s being a tease now? Stop it” Robyn knows I am playing now “just wanted to get you back, I can see the frustration on your face though” without a warning I slowly slid into her groaning out as her walls closed around me instantly “daddy is back home” I mumbled as I held her gaze, slowly thrusting “you don’t even feel different, pussy popping back into action” Robyn yanked me down for a kiss to shut me up locking her legs around my hips driving me into her as deeply, I sped up my thrusts inside of her. Robyn’ lips moved back from mine, her head fell back as she moaned out. Kissing on Robyn’ neck as every stroke is causing Robyn to let out a scream, I drove into her faster and faster, sucking her neck, leaving marks on Robyn everywhere “fuck!” Robyn shouted out, her hand on my hip as I slowed my pace.

“My bad” I smirked at her, slowly thrusting into Robyn “it’s ok” she placed her hand on my neck “keep going” she said, leaning down kissing her lips, sucking onto the lower lip as I continued to slam into her. My one hand gripping her breast, squeezing and kneading, as the other hand held her hip still to keep Robyn from bucking her hips, making me cum before I was done satisfying her “flip us over” Robyn said after biting my bottom lip. Flipping us both over “what happened to you doing it?” she can usually do it “not tonight” I watched her from below “ok, I am going to enjoy this” my hands on Robyn’ hips and her ass as I thrusted into her as fast, I am going to cum but I don’t want too. Robyn let her hands roam over her body, groaning and moaning. Her tongue slowly sliding over her lips as she looked down at me, clenching my jaw “fuck, I’m gonna cum” I can’t hold off anymore, my dick began to throb and pulse inside of Robyn, she decided to clamp tightly around me “ah fuck Robyn” I moaned out, she is milking me completely, pulling Robyn down on top of me and wrapped my arms around her tightly, just holding Robyn there for a moment before looking into her eyes as I pressed a kiss to her lips “I love you” my dick is still throbbing “I love you too” she wiggled out of from under me “round two” I am riding you and you don’t move or I will leave you hard, Robyn about to torture me.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfiction

18 notes · View notes