#y'all probably the most interesting people I talk to (and I mean that literally)

[william-austin]

see I overthink a lot but I'm also a people pleaser so if someone tells me to shut up over text I will never text you unless I got something important cause I feel like if I text they'll get mad at me 🧍🧍

(deactivated SQUIP behaviour, I know)

[thurio-edau]

SBG GANG MENTAL ANALYSIS

yup, him for part two. funny thing despite Aiden being my favourite character I'm most excited for the other three posts I'll make, especially the last one. there's a lot to unpack here so

also im writing this with a migraine pls read it-

Part 2: Aiden Clark

ah, yes. the obviously-mentally-ill from the start fan favourite Aiden Clark. let's go.

first, I want to start with something I find really important about his character, what makes him heavily mischaracterized in the fandom. the 'psychopath' cliche.

the terms 'psychopath', 'insane' and 'unstable' are often confused with each other due to media stereotypes, such as Aiden here. one, he is not a psychopath. psychopath literally means a self-centered person who lacks sympathy, affection and care; making them far from most other characters in their franchise. their lack of sympathy/empathy often makes them criminalized, here

disturbing content warning, for an example of a psychopath.

let's take Gressil from Homesick for example since a lot of SBG readers also read Homesick. so, here, Gressil is a perfect example of an actual psychopath. his lack of empathy makes him torment others, he's very self-centered. and when asked why he's doing this? he says he was bored. let's look at Aiden here. what does Aiden do when bored? probably dumb ideas or annoy Tyler. not torturing people for fun. Aiden is just a boy who likes thrills, but he has a sense of empathy, care and justice.

you wanna see a psychopathic Aiden?? the canvas is it

(our local Logan hater is publishing the canvas eps go checc beachy out)

but that's him, not our Aiden. canvas does not equal originals y'all

alright, now since we got that cleared out!! firstly, ADHD.

I think everyone in the fandom is already aware that Aiden is ADHD but I'm still going to talk about it just like Ashlyn's autism. Red has also said that she wrote Aiden with ADHD in mind but hadn't canonically confirmed anyone as neurodivergent. let's start with the main symptoms of ADHD, also known as Attention Decifit and Hyperactivity Disorder.

I know about 5 different ADHD people myself and did some research, it probably won't be extremely accurate since I'm not ADHD myself, but I'll try to do whatever I can. first with the AD part, Attention Decifit.

now as seen, he doesn't exactly have any problems with theorizing itself. but the problem is that his attention just goes away easily.

i mean cmon bro was making memes on the job

he tries to do work, but can't. he has a low attention span which makes him not able to concentrate. he can't keep it up for long, he'll get distracted or bored too easily about things that doesn't interest in specially.

it's just distracting. what his attention is on constantly changes, there's more to that after the ADHD part but we're here for now.

the hyperactivity... it's a lot more apparent. but I should explain the insane-unstable thing before that.

insane means that someone's mental health is not in an okay situation, where it prevents the person from thinking normally, acting rationally, very often found together with delusions. the person is seriously mentally ill where it might count as a disability.

unstable, however, where someone is prone to psychiatric problems, has moodswings etc. they're not exactly the most sane person, but they aren't insane either. Aiden here, obviously falls on the unstable side. maybe just a little bit insane if you squint. this will be brought up later too, but it mixed well with his hyperactivity too.

and as we all know, our boy isn't exactly the most stable person. (sorry for the collages, but since there is a tumblr picture limit i have to keep on collaging. yes i learnt from the last time) his hyperactivity mixes with his unstable mindset which makes him incresingly vulnerable to danger- which he likes. from when the first shift happened, he's been really careless about stuff but it's been all about his love for thrill.

and it irritates Tyler, too.

the main subplot about his character is that he's a person of excitement. guess what? ADHD people like the excitement, they like new things, they like the adrenaline and thrill. now, Aiden's main characteristic of being unstable mixed with ADHD makes him an even more reckless person. another thing mixing with the hyperactivity, is boundaries.

this part will mostly be about Ashlyn since the boundary issue only happens with her.

I talked about this on Ashlyn's side on my Ashlyn analysis, now it's time for Aiden's side.

he's really annoying to her at first. Ashlyn is someone with lots of boundaries, like high walls. and who tries to climb them with his dumbass? Aiden of course.

she kept rejecting his efforts to befriend her for some time, until the night they stole the jeep. then she managed to actually bring the walls down, and accept them all into her life. but damn was she blunt.

felt that honestly

and Aiden understands her that night, too.

Ashlyn was hesistant to hug him, yes, he was aware. but she still did which made him realize she was also trying. i have to tell you, people with ADHD and people with autism either have trouble getting along, or go perfectly well. my ADHD sibling for example, I have to push them away for a lot and tell them to lower their voice. but once they remember my boundaries it actually becomes a normal, even pleasant hangout. which, Aiden realizes and tries to get along with. he tries.

seeing his efforts on her boundaries makes something click in her mind. and she starts to be a lot nicer when they hang out in the arcade.

Aiden eventually learns and remembers what she's like and what she loves to do. he already tried to watch her ballet sessions once -got slammed-, he's been to her room where he remembered the mat from and her fighting makes it obvious. I'm sure he knew he'd get cooked by betting that. but he still did,

because he knew it'd interest her. which he succeeded, he saw her smile again. the arcade day went great until Barron and his gang pulled up, but if we ignore that part it all went well. Aiden started to understand and respect her boundaries.

anyways then Tyler fucking dies

he knows that Ashlyn feels guilty. Aiden wants to comfort her through it, but also do it correctly. without going over any boundaries. which makes him really,

really,

really surprised when she responds.

also including this pannel cause its hilarious

here we see that he's still trying. hell, I'm sure he spent minutes thinking if he should come close physically to help her. that's probably why he just nudged her softly before anything else. he's not used to it, he has to conciously make an effort to not cross said boundaries. keeping his voice lower, try to not be so reckless, not doing anything physically close unless she reciprocates. wow how i wish another someone i knew irl tried that hard instead of blaming it on me cOUGH COUGH COUGH

also other small things to include

he's yapping a lot

he has a comically large amount of puzzles in his backpack for one single trip

and sticks his head into lamps for some reason

but that's just Aiden and his little neurodivergent brain for ya.

now the part I wanted to get to the most.

Borderline Personality Disorder.

first, what is Borderline Personality Disorder?

shortened as BPD, borderline is when someone's mood is inconsistent and swinging. think of it's name; the person's mental state is in the border, in the border line, switching up fastly. the most easily understood and common type is when the person goes from a depression to a happy state. but no matter which state they are in and/or go to, one thing stays the same: it is unstable.

one thing about borderline is that it is frequently mixed with bipolar. however bipolar is a neurodivengercy which means it is what someone is born with and cannot be changed. but borderline is obtained later in life. it usually happens with depression. bipolar is much more random and the episodes last longer in comparison. it may last up to hours, and the person's memory might have trouble remembering their episodes. borderline, on the other hand, is a short-lived mood swing.

now here. here's the catch; people with BPD during mood swings can have reckless behaviour, suicidal thoughts -in his case as far as we know, lowered sense of protecting himself- or a loss of understanding danger. sounds familiar?

borderline's recklessness and dangerousness, sometimes self-destructive acts combines with ADHD's love for thrill and excitement, combined with Aiden's own personality all make up for a great condition of instability.

Aiden's behaviour constantly goes crazy, I think his most frequent mood swing might be his normal self (at least, as normal as he could be) to this more maniac way of acting. I noticed it from his eyes, when he's in a more calm-ish normal state his pupils are a bit more dilated. in the pictures above, you can clearly see that he's still in the episode; filled with the adrenaline, the unstable way of thinking.

but, what causes that? surely a mental illness such as borderline doesn't happen on it's own.

right?

cause it didn't.

it never works that way.

but it can get better.

eventually.

but what happened to him?

personally, as much as a large amounnt of people seems to believe it's something like family abuse I don't think so. maybe neglect, maybe withdrawal, maybe maybe. but we've seen his parents. I don't think they would hurt him like that. I can't put any more pictures, but this is the last part anyway. his parents seem to be kind and gentle, despite that picture in his house. I'm thinking the picture was only for the dramatic effect. his parents said that he used to be really calm and quiet during Lily's birthday, and both Aiden and Ben seem comfortable around them. they were happy taking Ben in too, any kind of abusive parent wouldn't do that at least that's what I believe. also there is that Aiden got serious and concerned when he learnt that their parents were also in the facility, most likely worried for his own as you would have thought.

there was a post that I've been trying to find for like half an hour, I commented on it but I can't find the post now. the person talked about their own theory. if I remember correctly it was that when Aiden was depressive as a child, his parents took him to a thrilling activity like the ones he's been talking about (bungee-jumping, skydiving etc.) and the thrill made him actually get excited. which is why his parents allowed him to go even more reckless, because they are aware of how prone their son could be to the depression.

what happened? let's ignore the parents factor. someone can have a loving family and still be traumatized, someone can be taken care of and still feel abandoned, someone can never have confronted a situation they are terrified of.

one of my theories is that, the loneliness. it must get to a child heavily considering children need to not be left alone, but Aiden was. he didn't have any actual friends since they always moved from one place to another from his parents' business, and they might have not had enough time to make for him (which I believe is bullshitting, every child deserves to be taken some time out for. some people quit their jobs entirely for their child.) and be unaware, and that doesn't change that he was still depressed and alone. his depressive state was seemingly before Ben was taken in. now here one thing with borderline, at least from my experience, is faking actions. smiles, laughs, friendships, conversations... almost as if there's two different lives; one fake, and one real. you keep on switching, you keep on swinging between the sides where you're yourself and where you're just mimicking 'normal human behaviour'.

it starts from faking a happy state during their depression, and by time you're faking it it becomes an automatic adition to your personality. to your mind. once it furthers, it becomes the disorder. Aiden we see is always smiling. it becomes a habit that only breaks sometimes. now, I'm not saying his smile is fake- I think his face is literally just stuck like that. it breaks ever so slightly sometimes. fake it till ya make it yanno? that kind of thing. and when he swings from his calm mood to his borderline-d mood, his pupils get small and his smile gets worse. noticably worse. I'll be rereading the series (AGAIN) and this time look at all the small details since Red loves putting them and I love theorizing so

which, wraps up the Aiden thing! im actually really proud of how i could put my thoughts into text which i never could. i'd love any additions because i love other opinions as well.

and you know what? im glad Ash and Ai are out of the place because the rest are what I'm actually looking forward to >:)

...and i should sleep. really.

(wow sorry yall i finished this hours ago and said 'alright reread to make sure its good before sleep' and fell asleep through it lol sorry for 4 hour delay ig)

(leaving for school rn see yall 8 hours later 🫡)

[redr0sewrites]

HI HI!!!! if you do ever decide to write for the archangels i would LOVE sum michael hcs.!!.!!.! i would gobble him up yum yum

jumped skipped and hopped over all my other requests to get to this one LMAO- considering he's non-canon i just went off my own hcs soo yea!!!!

🥀Cw: fluff, smut, bible lore™️, possible religious trauma?

🥀minors dni with the nsfw portion

Sfw:

Michael has lived a long, long time, he's been alive since before earth was even created and has definitely seen some things

he knows that many mortals experience love, yet he never really felt such a strong connection until he met you. of course he loved his "family", but michael was a stranger to true love

HES SUCH A GENTLEMAN! michael definitely puts your needs before his, and i hc his love languages to be quality time and acts of service. he loves having you by his side more than anything, and is always spending time with you.

he's the type to give you lots and lots of flowers! you two probably have a garden that he goes to get flowers from, because he just loves how happy you get at such a seemingly simple gesture

michael is very protective, but not in a limiting way, he just wants to make sure your safe. after lucifer fell from heaven and created original sin, michael had to step up and take on even more heavenly duties. he knows how important it is to keep you safe and he loves you a lot, so he worries about you a lot

he honestly misses lucifer a lot, but he would never admit it. he talks to you a lot about his other siblings and family, and tells you stories about the beginning of earth and heaven's creation. he definitely introduces you to the other archangels, seraphims, and heavenly virtues, and loves that you get along with them. i definitely think you'd become buddies with azrael or gabriel, and y'all would cause shenanigans together (much to michaels dismay)

michael is literally so patient with you, and it's genuinely so sweet. everyone can tell he's WHIPPED, and he honestly doesn't mind. he'll listen to you ramble for hours on end, he'll try more modern food for you, he'll even adopt your music taste once he starts dating you! michael loves you as a whole and wants to enjoy everything you're interested in

HUSBAND MATERIAL. he definitely takes it upon himself to cook for you, he helps you clean, anything you need help with he volunteers to assist you.

michael is SUCH a morning person you can not tell me im wrong. he wakes up really early, and loves watching you sleep peacefully. he makes you breakfast in the morning and when its time for you to wake up, he always wakes you up with kisses or tickles or both! he loves holding you in the morning, but he's a little strict about getting up on time, he does have heavenly duties to attend to after all. if you do manage to wake up before him, you might manage to convince him to stay in bed with you for just a few more minutes. he honestly has such a soft spot for you

you are one of the few people allowed to touch his wings, which is a HUGE sign of trust on michael's part. he usually keeps his wings hidden, but there comes a time when they get so irritating that they just need to be preened. he gets all huffy about it because its "such an inconvenience", and you get to laugh at his pouty face while you gently preen his wings!

i think all the archangels have 6 wings, so it definitely takes a while. michael probably falls asleep halfway through, the feeling of your soft, smaller hands on his wings just makes him feel soft and drowsy. preening often transitions to.... other activities if yk what i mean bc of how sensitive angels' wings are. because michael keeps his wings hidden so often, his wings are especially sensitive and its one of the few times you'lll ever see him blush hehe

he has a really soft, smooth voice, and you LOVE listening to him speak. michael will definitely read to you if you ask, and you can't help but nod off to the sound of his melodic voice. i definitely think most abgels are very musical or at least enjoy music, and if you beg, you may get him to sing for you. his voice is lovely, and he'll sing you soft lullabies in old languages that you can't understand but know are loving

you two very rarely argue, and whenever you do come to a disagreement, michael adamantly refuses to raise his voice at you. he would never yell at you or say anything harsh, and is more likely to opt to just spend some time apart to think on the disagreement. he never lets you two go to bed upset, and will always sit down to have a conversation with you about any clashes you two have. i dont see him as too stubborn and i think he's willing to compromise on most accounts, but its very rare that you two argue anyway because he's so sweet all the time

Nsfw:

michael is 100% a giver in bed. he loves giving you oral and always prioritizes your pleasure over his own. he's always focused on making you cum first and really enjoys pleasing you

i see him as a switch, he could definitely be a pleasure dom but i also see him as a bit of a sub as well. sometimes all of his work and overall stress gets to his head, and he trusts you enough to let you take the reins and get him out of his own head. when he subs, he's definitely much louder and a lot whinier. he's definitely not a brat and would probably do anything you ask him to

he has a praise kink both ways, and loves showering you in praise. michael definitely likes mirror sex, and will tell you to call yourself beautiful of pretty or handsome as he fucks you.

"darling, look at how pretty you are. c'mon, i want to hear you say it. look in the mirror, don't you see how pretty you are?"

eye contact is important to him, and he enjoys a lot of basic positions like missionary and things like that, but i also see him being into lotus position because he loves being so close to you.

michael isn't very loud when it comes to sex, but he is big on talking to you. he loves whispering sweet nothings to you as you cum, and praising you in how well you took him

he isn't ridiculously vanilla, but he hasn't been very adventurous either. while i don't think he's had any official relationships before you, i dont see him as a virgin. he's probably slept with a few people, so he has some experience, but he's still learning as well. i think he's down to try most things as long as you're into them, but he wouldn't want to hurt you too much

michael may feel a bit awkward about sex, sure he knows its not a big deal, but a part of him doesn't want to overstep any of your boundaries either. he wants you to know that he's with you because he loves you, not just for sex and will make that abundantly clear. y'all definitely have a serious conversation about it before the first time you have sex, and you definitely have a safeword

GUYS HEAR ME OUT but i think he'd have a bit of a corruption kink. he'd never admit it but the thought of him being your first is SUCH a turn on, and he really loves when you get so fucked-put that you're incoherent. i think he'd be down for a bit of role play, but only if you're into it and it would definitely relate to some sort of corruption or religious corruption

i don't think he'd degrade you too much, but i do think he might mock you a bit. "oh, you were such a devout little thing, i wonder what the others would think of you now darling. sucking in my cock like a vice, you really aren't so innocent after all, aren't you dear?"

he loves overstimulating you until you're incoherent, but i don't think he's big on orgasm denial. he loves pleasuring you and he loves rewarding you more than anything. the only time i see him really denying your orgasms is if you've been a major brat and have pushed him over the edge, or if you ask him to. either way he's gonna mock you a bit on how filthy you are, but will still praise you for taking it so well

he has definitely bought you a lot of pretty little necklaces and loves seeing you in nothing but the gifts he bought you. the way the charm bounces against your chest as he fucks you, it drives him crazy! especially if theyre gold or if theyre cross necklaces, bc its so similar to his color scheme

he likes holding your hand during sex. its very intimate, and he always gives your hand a little squeeze as he's coming

i think one of the few things he's against during sex is hurting you. sure, he'll mock you here and there, but hurting you? no, its just a turnoff for him. your the most precious thing in his life, he'd never want to hurt you even in jest. if you really, really wanted him to you might get him to tie you down or maybe hold your throat/face while he fucks you, but he would never go as far as to hurt you

when it comes to you fucking him, he loves to be praised and pampered. its a bit embarrassing, but he's often so overworked and pent up that he really loves being treated sweetly. he might cry a bit during sex, trust me he's ok, he just gets overstimulated really easily. michael definitely enjoys it tho!

speaking of overstimulation, PLEASE touch his wings during sex! you'll get the sweetest moans and whimpers from him, and he'll get so whiny. its one of the few times he'll beg, and he both loves and hates when you make him cum untouched by only stroking his wings

aftercare is very important to michael, and he always takes time to clean you both up. it's an unspoken agreement that whoever tops cleans up the other first and starts the bath while the person who subbed takes a minute to catch their breath. he always wipes down your thighs and cleans you off, and when it comes to baths, he'll always make sure everything is ready before carrying you to the tub. when he's subbing, he'll probably try his best to help you but may push himself a bit too hard because he's so tired. PLEASE kiss him and pamper him in the tub, tell him how much you love him!!!!

hes genuinely just so sweet in bed and during aftercare, and overall cares about you a lot

PLSSS THE HYPWRFIXATION IS INSANE. I LOVE ALL THE ARCHANGELS AND HEAVEN AUS SM!!!!!!!!! CRYING BEGGING PLEEEADING FOR YALL TO SEND IN REQUESTS FOR ANYONE FROM THE HEAVEN AUS. the one im most familiar with is @esbellesantos au and my fav is azrael so PLSSS feel free to send in azrael reqs 😇 anyways hope yall enjoyed!!! i loved writing this sm!!!!

[yall-hate-kids-tourney]

Round 4: Chara Dreemurr (Undertale) vs. Ken Amada (Persona 3)

Propaganda below the cut

Chara Dreemurr (?):

They were constantly blamed for killing all of monster kind in the no mercy route, despite players choosing to go that route. People ignored that they sacrificed themselves to attempt to free the monsters from the underground.

----

everyone wants to blame their own actions (genocide route) on chara, who is a literal child. i don’t know how to tell you this but you are the one playing the game. it’s about YOUR CHOICES. chara is there is punish you for that, you killed the only family that ever loved them! how could they not be upset at that! also if you don’t mind, here’s a good video essay on the subject 

Ken Amada (11):

y'all are all for "murder and revenge plots" until is a 10 y/o boy who watched his mother die and started to become conflicted after realizing his moms killer is a secretly kind traumatized teenager to the point where the 10 y/o boy attempts to kill himself by giving himself up to assassins.

bro he's 10.

----

ken amada is such an interesting character with the unfortunate circumstances of having little screentime and atlus deciding to ruin his reputation forever by giving him a romance choice in the fem protag route. ken is a child who lost his mother at NINE. nobody ever believed him when he said that she was murdered, and that he saw who killed her. hes miserable, and all everyone around him does is give him sympathy while hes suffering and was forced to grow up before even going into middle school. hes angry and determined to get revenge on the person who killed his mother, and he doesnt even see the own value in living anymore beyond getting that revenge. hes more mature than most of his peers, and is desperate to be seen as an adult.but at the same time, he is still a child who likes superhero shows.

----

OH GOD WHERE DO I START

First there's the normal "The fandom hates kids" complaints of "He's so whiny" "he's so annoying" "oh my god kid just SHUT UP" y'know, the typical fandom stuff that makes you wonder if these people have ever talked to a child in their life

Second, there's (spoilers)...

October 4th, and the ENTIRE FANDOM is calling this kid a murderer.

For context, the moment in question doesn't necessarily paint him in the best light but its still understandable. Your team is going on a mission while Ken and another character named Shinjiro are away. In an alleyway, they have a talk where it is revealed that on that night a year priar to the game, Kens mom was killed in that allleyway by Shinjiro's Persona (Which, by the Rules of the Game Lore, basically means By Shinjiro). Ken tried to tell the authorities, the authorities didn't believe him because Magic Reasons and the death was ruled an accident.

Of course Ken is Fucking Pissed and wants revenge

However, because of Talk, he ACTIVELY CALMS DOWN, and realises "Hey, I probably shouldn't kill someone. Despite them, y'know, killing my mom"

HOWEVER REVOLVER JESUS COMES IN AND RUINS EVERYTHING BY SHOOTING SHINJIRO. AND LIKE, IF YOU PLAY P3P YOU CAN /AVOID THE DEATH THING/

AND EVERYONE BLAMES /KEN/. AND ONLY KEN.

And third (yes, there's a THIRD) IS THE FUCKING FEMC ROMANCE THING. WHICH JUST...SHOULDN'T HAVE EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE. BUT NOW HE'S "SHOTA BAIT" BECAUSE WE HAVE TO BLAME THE CHILD FOR THE AUTHORITY FIGURE COMING ONTO THEM 😒

[aihoshiino]

chapter 145 thoughts!

what even was this chapter, y'all. i'm getting a migraine.

While it certainly wasn't actively bad, it basically hits on enough of the issues I've been having with the Movie Arc that if you've been reading my chapter reviews lately, you could probably write this one yourself. Weird pacing, skipping over interesting parts of the movie, continued framing of AQRB as a shallow gag and failing to follow on any of the implied development from or literally any referenced fallout of the kiss in 143? It's all here, babes. It would ultimately just be boring and redundant for me to go over all that at length again, so I won't.

I will however say that I'm pretty disappointed we're blasting through what had the potential to be some really interesting bits of postmortem characterization for Ai, even filtered through 15YL. I don't mind the manga breezing past scenes we saw firsthand but like… how did Ai react when she realized she was pregnant? How did she feel, especially given that Spica once again emphasized her longing for a family of her own? IDK. The way the story is suddenly jolting forwards in these last few chapters and skipping such huge chunks of Ai's life ultimately feels very strange and I don't know what to make of it yet.

Everyone reacting to Crow Girl's acting was pretty funny though I'm kind of exhausted with Ruby's Gaga-For-Oniichansensei Gag Character flanderization. IDK if my tolerance for it is just decreasing or if it really is amping up, but at least in the 125-137 stretch I at least got the sense that they could be in the same room and have a normal conversation but ever since 139, it feels that bit more relentless. I imagine this would be less irritating if we knew how the aftermath of 143 had played out but it really seems like the manga is going to drag this out until we're all old and grey.

THAT SAID, this chapter does confirm that Aqua's hoshigan stayed white after that chapter and… eh. Who even knows what that means lol. It does at least imply that his talk with Ruby has brought him back to Baseline Aqua but Baseline Aqua is still a guy with every single mental illness on planet earth so I don't know if that's the world's biggest W quite yet. It certainly implies an improvement over double black hoshigan but… again, with Aqua being so totally cut off from the readers this whole arc and no idea of what happened in the aftermath of 143, it's impossible to make a meaningful guess as to wtf is going on with Aqua right now.

Oh yeah, uh. This chapter also I guess constitutes the reveal of how the AQRB reincarnation happened. I guess LMAO. Honestly, I don't have much to say about it other than it feels like a bit of an anticlimax for me? The idea works fine, the execution just left me… idk. Whelmed at best, underwhelmed at most. I feel like this backstory and the implied deep fondness for GRSR -> AQRB it implies doesn't really like up with the personality she displays in the Private arc but like, I kind of feel like she was tossed into the story without Akasaka having a clear idea as to what her role was even going to turn into so maybe that's not a surprise LOL

I will say I'm glad this seems to quash the theory that Aqua and Ruby were secretly capital-G Gods, instead framing it as a Tsuru no Ongaeshi type return of kindness to two otherwise mundane people. There was some fun fan theorizing around the idea, but for me personally, Oshi no Ko is most interesting when it focuses on that aspect of the story Akasaka highlighted in an interview recently, of human relationships being warped by the entertainment industry and I think an explosion of the emotional stakes to the cosmic scale of AQRB (or tbh any of the characters) being Secretly Gods All Along would be a bit of a shark jump for me and would really shift away from what I like about the series most.

That's kind of it for this one…! Not really a lot to say about this chapter, which is why most of this review was me explaining why I didn't have a lot to say about it.

[911-on-abc]

the second they made buck bi i watched the whole show for the first time, took a week, finished just before the latest episode came out. this obviously means i do not know my first thing about anything, most theories and fanon storylines included. what is the most important stuff that i need to know? the more deranged and delusional the better 🌸

oh LORD buckle up anon!! but also... hi!! Welcome!!! I'm so glad that ur here and that you've enjoyed the show enough to (hopefully) stick around!!!!

Full disclosure, I've only started watching 911 since season 6, so there are years of fandom lore/drama that I'm not even aware of. I really recommend checking out blogs such as @captain-hen @gracieryder @maygrcnt who have been around here MUCH longer (I'll tag more people in the morning) & follow @911bts who keeps track of literally EVERYTHING 911.

Okay, 911blr 101 is couch theory. What is couch theory you ask? well, it all starts at the beginning of S6 when Buck's couch (or lack there of) was used as a metaphor for Buck's romantic relationships. In S5, when Taylor moved into Buck's apartment replaced Buck's couch (that he got with Ali) with her own. When Buck and Taylor broke up, she took the couch with her, leaving Buck couchless. The connection between girlfriends and couches first comes up during a conversation with Buck, Eddie, and Christopher. Buck's struggle to find the 'perfect' couch reflects Buck's struggle to find the perfect person to partner up with. At the end of the episode, Buck decides to move his armchair where the couch used to be, signifying that he is trying to become comfortable with himself outside of a relationship.

Then we get to the start of S6b. Buck's parents come to town, Buck gets struck by lightning (as one does), and his parents buy him a new couch. There is probably some metaphor there about family and blah blah blah, but that doesn't matter because the couch is uncomfortable and Buck can't sleep on it and everyone keeps bothering him, and who does Buck run to? He runs to Eddie. And then he falls asleep on Eddie's couch.

and like this is a big fucking deal. because it shows that he is comfortable with Eddie! he feels safe in Eddie's home! he is more safe and comfortable on Eddie's couch than he is on his own and Eddie welcomes him there!! and couch = romantic relationship, so falling asleep on eddie's couch = relationship with Eddie???? There is another scene in S6 where Christopher falls asleep on the couch and people are like!! we are connecting the dots! (we were not connecting the dots)

and then!!!! the Kameron gives birth on Buck's couch and the couch is ruined and then y'all never guess what happens. In one of the last scenes of s6 Buck asks his brand new love interest Natalia if she wants to go couch-shopping and everyone is like WTF???? aren't we past this?? didn't we just have this conversation about NOT buying a couch with ur gf at the beginning of this season???

uhhh this explanation was NOT supposed to get this long. okay, let's speedrun this shit. The Christmas Elf!! Very important!! OG Buddie Queen!! Buck Navy Seal AUs (ugh. he literally talked about how he was too emotional for the Seals I hate this AU so fucking much!!) everyone is fucking irrational about the lawsuit arc, just filter that shit out. eddie = gay and/or demisexual. buck = christopher's second dad. literally, everyone is bisexual. Chimney? bi. Bobby? bi. Maddie? bi. is this canon? no, except for in my heart. there is SO much that I am missing. but if u are still reading this drop ur favorite/least favorite fanon theories in the chat and drop the @'s of some good blogs to follow. OH!!! ALSO!!! do NOT trust Tim (the showrunner) that man LIES!!!

[thefanboyhub]

Cannon Things In KOTLC People Seem To Forget:

Also me just being mad that people don't talk about something I love lol

- Sophie is SHORT. She is SMALL. Which also means Dex was even SHORTER in the first book or two.

- Biana feels left out and forgotten by her parents because of Fitz.

- Alvar was a glass child. Invisible, which is ironic considering his ability, but yeah. He was pretty much outshined by his siblings. (Probably gay to tbh.)

- Fitz has daddy issues and he's spoiled. Have you seen how Alden is with him? If I had a dad like that I'd have tantrums too. (Lucky me I got a pedo dad and an mostly absent mom... ✨ yay✨)

- Keefe is a year ahead of people his age, he's younger then Fitz too but is still second place in class ranking.

- Marella's mom had a head injury. She has brain damage. People don't talk about that enough.

- Sophie has crippling anxiety and self worth issues because of her up bringing. She was literally bullied and if that wasn't enough she had to hear what EVERYONE really thought about her. She is literally so brave and has incredible patience. (Y'all need to hop off my home girls ass, she's literally so fucking interesting.)

- Bronte has curly hair... WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT THIS???

- Everyone has british accents but crisper. (I always forget this when I read unless it's Fitz talking 💀)

- Cognat's are like married couples. (PRENTICE AND TIERGAN MAN— GET TOGETHER ASDNJSJD)

- There are a lot of blond haired characters. Like... a lot.

- Stina is a tall girl with curly hair and is so pretty.

- Dex, Lex, Bex, Rex, and Kesler are RED. HEADS. GOD DAMNIT. STOP MAKING THEM BLOND.

- Edaline and Julien are sisters. I feel like we don't talk enough about that and we don't see enough of them being sisters.

- Most of the adults are manipulative, even the good ones. Edaline and Kesler are like the two safest options in the series.

- Ro cares a lot about Keefe (it's buried deep but it's there.)

Anyways. That's all. Oh and my name is Ollie ✨

[marciabrady]

some HOT disney princess takes that you'll hate or love but i fully stand by regardless. lets discuss~

singing/having a powerful voice is aurora's thing, not ariel's! ariel misses her concert in the beginning of the film, struggles with using her auditory voice to effectively communicate, and even gives it up to turn human. it means little/nothing to her and i think people just attribute singing to her, the same way sebastian and her father do, because it's a plot point in her movie meanwhile if ariel knew you all irl she would not be doing sing alongs like that. on the contrary, aurora is literally blessed with the SUPERNATURAL gift of song from birth by a magical fairy, uses it to express herself, and famously sings more than she speaks. so much of aurora's identity is tied into her song and i really think, if there was a singer or someone who owns the "voice" among the princesses, it should be aurora- besides, have you literally ever heard of a more divinely ethereal but also epic and powerful voice than mary costa's??? like don't get me wrong, jodi benson ATE but also after jodi, all the princesses more or less have a similar broadway sound but like no one else can do what aurora did

snow white should be the leader of the princesses. i love cinderella, i do, but snow white was literally the first and imo is the most groundbreaking female character, animated or not, of ALL TIME and she deserves her flowers. also, i think people are FINALLY coming around to see cinderella's value after years of "cinderella ate my daughter" weird misogyny masquerading around as feminism criticisms and i think a lot of that is centered around cinderella being an abuse victim and that's what's warming a lot of people to her...which i love, really i do. but snow white was also abused and, in her film, makes it a point to end the cycle of abuse. she was even the victim of a murder attempt, after which she continues to pick herself up and find shelter and work for her keep, and that gets lost so much and i think, whereas cinderella's dreams center around happiness, snow white singing of the fact that she's dreaming of the nice things someone would say to her and the way she needs grumpy to like her makes so much sense given her background and i literally never EVER see anyone discussing abuse when it comes to snow white. i think if people started talking her character more seriously and analyzing and appreciating it the way y'all do elsa, we would be saved from the heinously bad takes that get attributed to her (see: rachel zegler. that girl has not said ONE valid thing about snow white and her views are so embarrassingly stamped by pseudo online activism from the early 2000s by users that, not only don't realize how dumb they are but also think they're smarter than everyone else because they dabble in armchair psychology, and it's enough)

ariel collecting isn't leaned into as much as it should be tbh (and i'm talking as a serious pastime, not a parody of her never understanding human things that's contingent on her being a mermaid or being totally ignorant to humans)!!! like we get it, belle reads, but i think ariel collecting as a hobby is so much more interesting and well-rounded and nuanced. like, first of all, ariel collecting doesn't eliminate other hobbies, but actually promotes them! like she has books in her grotto, and we see her reading in poyw, but that's not the ONLY thing to her! she probably picks up on so many tiny details about like historical time periods or climates or dress patterns in a way that heightens life and reality and bridges people together because of all the studying she does and it's just soooo interesting to me, as we see things like the historical community evolve on tiktok and people who are fascinated with studying other cultures and the evolution of fandom in general, etc. also, i get this might be super super hot of a take but i think jodi performs certain songs better than she does part of your world...like i do love the song and i think it's more than worthy of being ariel's character's theme song but there's definitely some other bops in there that are just as good, if not better

belle should have a sequel where she gets to be unlikable for a change! even when she is unlikable in the film, it's never perceived as a character fault and linda woolverton's writing/the other characters in the film just blind hero worship and idolize belle and it's creepy tbh and i think it robs her of being a fully realized person that's treated like other people and can build human connections! like, everyone thinks she's stunning and wants a piece of her and never really takes her to task about her character flaws or even mentally challenges her and i think that's why she's so depressed? people only view her as being ultra desirable, whether it's the castle objects seeing her as a beautiful girl that can fall in love with the beast to the point where they ignore the really shady stuff she does, or gaston thinking she's the most beautiful girl in town and wanting to marry her, or even her fans thinking she's the smartest female character who ever breathed and is incapable of flaws. i think if we treated belle more as a person, maybe she could also have an arc in her movie and it wouldn't just be about the beast! also i think it'd be refreshing and we'd allow women to be people, too, and not this "smartest girl in town, but modest about it, prettiest girl in town, but unaware of it, loyal to her father but still stands up for herself, etc etc etc" unrealistic model. belle deserves EQUALS not just admirers who will never measure up to this pedestal they put her on

cinderella 1950 and cinderella 2015 are not interchangeable as characters or films!!! kenneth and lily did a HORRIBLE job at interpreting ilene woods's cinderella and the changes they made are shameful and the original character had so much more strength and realism to her, but in her own feminine way, and lily's character was a giant step back and is the epitome of making loud changes that result to NOTHING. the way the entire 2015 cast badmouthed cinderella 1950 on their press tour has always sat uncomfortably with me and so many people prefer it over the original one i just. also, cinderella looks best in pink! i LOVE aurora in pink, and we're omitting silver because that IS cinderella's color and nothing compares, but i just think she's so vibrant and cute in her pink dress and i love her with her hair down and it's just so much more fun and human and it doesn't get nearly as much attention as it should

they desperately need to age the content/demographics of the franchise up, like ngl them turning these women (and yes, i think they're women not little girls and the point of their movies is them BECOMING women) into like little nursery crib characters for babies and infantilizing them is creepy. also a HUGE segment of the fanbase is an adult one, like fans of the disney renaissance ladies are typically in the 20s-40s, not four year old's, and i just think disney is doing themselves a disservice by largely ignoring all the adult fans who collect these characters and make artwork for them and keep the princesses in vogue by writing about them and making social media content about them. like the avengers can really tap into their fanbase like that, meanwhile the best us princess fans have are like 8 dollar playline dolls?!?! where is our movie!!! where is our CONTENT. the 2003 princess party dvds will no longer suffice!

[itsjustagoober]

So, uhhhhhhh.

Howdy y'all. Been a minute since I've really been around here. I mean, yes I've been reblogging and stuff, but like...that's roughly all the time I've had to do? Just pop in for a bit or so, reblog and head off again.

Gonna do my best to keep it short, but I'll also put it under the cut to keep the base post short to most. Here goes nothing, I guess?

TL;DR: A family emergency back in June literally caused my entire summer, which I had originally planned to be my most creative and focused time for projects and art and stuff, to be watching after and living with a family member up until the first week of October to make sure they would be okay. I then took a week vacation this past week to visit my girlfriend and I was so relaxed I didn't do anything else, either. I am gonna need time to get back into the groove on here as I process and reassess what I wanna do for my blogs for the rest of the year and from here out.

To start, I am very glad that I made sure my great uncle was fine for sure, the whole time I was living with him. I just also realized that, now that it's over, being his immediate caretaker for three-to-four months? Life really stole my summer and everything fun I wanted to do this year. It sucks. It's not entirely his fault, but hrrrrmgle.

So, June. I was hearing how wet and frequent his coughs were and was trying to get him to go to Urgent Care/go see his primary (which he assured me he didn't have one when I always am the one making his appointments for him), but he continued to refuse and fight me the entire way. He does this to everyone who tries to tell him how to do something he doesn't want to hear, so I just took it and knew he'd realize sooner or later this was a losing battle on his side.

That came the day he went for his dentist appointment and he ended up having a cardiac episode in the chair before they started. They called me right back and I took him to the hospital. They gave him so much stuff to bring his heart rate down, like holy shit. Thankfully, since the dentist didn't start with anything, there was nothing to worry about with drugs fighting with other drugs. I stayed there until his stepdaughter finally got off of work and I was allowed to go home after a pretty draining and traumatic day.

Oh, that reminds me. I said it wasn't wholly his fault about how this summer turned out. That's because there's another character here, his stepdaughter. She will be referred to as S from here out. While I'm at it, Great Uncle will also be R and S' daughter will be K. K is pretty cool, though, so you probably won't see her here as much as the other two, considering.

So, S is an interesting lady. She is about as old as my mother and acts like she's 22 still. Nothing against her wanting to be that way, but it made it very difficult to genuinely talk with her or see her at any point that wasn't on her time and when she was in town. Most of the summer, she barely came to visit despite everything. Every weekend, she went out partying or camping or out of town/state because she couldn't handle all the stuff with R. You can guess who that fell to, obviously. And the fact that S assumed I was gonna take care of him for her anyway, bleh. Yes, as he's family and I care about the people I care about, but assuming all that and I had to find this out later and from someone else? Not a great impression there.

Took a dinner break here, so where was I? I visited him in the hospital when I could, mostly. He was moved around so much and going through procedures and the like I barely caught him in passing. The day he was let out and moved to rehab, however, I was sure to go visit him ASAP. I made sure he was settled, met the nurses taking care of him and the schedules for medication.

He didn't have an amazing time there, according to him. However, this is because of two very important details: He didn't want to be there and wanted to be home already and that he needed to complete rehab to get home. You can probably imagine where this is going, yes. He refused to do his bare minimum of exercises and the like and then wondered why they were keeping him longer, even though they wanted to see him go and make a full recovery.

Another detail that's important is that one of the doctors in the hospital sent him to rehab with a defibrillator vest. This doctor apparently didn't explain it to him, any of his nurses at the hospital, none of them at the rehab center and most of all, me. So, this was a 6-pound burden for us all that reeeeally pissed him off especially. The damn thing would beep for any reason and while there was a book for each beep, every message shared the same beep! You wouldn't know the reason until you cross-checked the manual! And the damn battery pack kept nailing him in the shin, too. Augh.

Eventually, after a short time and a big tantrum from him that required S and I to be there for his patient review (in which S also had a breakdown because of this), he finally realized he couldn't get out until he kept the vest on and did the harder exercises to build up enough strength to be let go to go back home. And then he was, about the second to last week of August. And that's when I moved in to be his caretaker and help him with stuff around the house while he got used to it again.

The longest part came next, all his follow-ups with doctors he saw in the hospital to give him a clean bill of health to drop the defibrillator vest fully or drop it to get an internal one installed. All these follow-ups took end of August through to the end of September and his patience for everything was so worn thin. Every little thing agitated him and he never wanted to do anything extra outside of what he HAD to do. It was very frustrating for everyone involved trying to help him, myself included.

Finally, we came to October 2nd. The day he finds out about the vest and his medical stuff going forward. We go in and see the doctor. He's a very nice man and he's doing his best to do his job and let R know that, while he should be okay to take off the vest now, he needs to still be careful as he could plummet in health at any moment if he overdoes anything or even does super nothing (ya know, stagnant type nothing). Of course, R only heard that he could take the vest off and that's what he was waiting for. He was suddenly very energetic and headstrong that the doctor then quickly tried to let him know we'd still need to see him in a few months and make sure everything is okay. He even offered we come in later in the week for him to get a light defib shock to fix his heart rate from afib.

This, of course, is not what R wanted to hear. He was done, as far as he was concerned, and didn't want to do anything else. It started with a 'No.' and soon turned into a full screaming match, only from his side, to the doctor just trying to make sure he'd be alright going forward. Once the doctor realized there was nothing he could do to change R's mind, mostly from a motion from me that it wasn't worth the argument, he dismissed us as professionally as he could and everything. We left and I grabbed his card, just in case anything happens, ya know?

We're downstairs and he's so proud of himself for that outburst. He got what he wanted to hear and wasn't going to take anything else for anything he didn't want to hear or realize. We went to lunch and I just sort of clammed up for the rest of the day because it wasn't worth the effort. He didn't apologize after he calmed down or anything. He was just so proud of himself and it pretty much made me feel nauseated.

Since that was just a week or so ago from this, he started to get a big head. He was good to go and didn't need anymore doctors or meds and or anyone to help him. He started getting visibly and vocally frustrated with me, so I figured that was a good time for a short break from each other. Went back once or twice to get my stuff like clothes and food from living there for two-to-three months and then saw him off that last Saturday for October 7th. I was so anxious and everything, especially with hoping he'd be alright while I was gone.

I told S and K I'd be taking a week vacation and then go back to pre-cardiac episode (once a week every Wednesday or whatever day if he had appointments). Never heard back from S, but I thanked me for everything I had done all summer and said my kindness and love would be paid back in time. One of my great aunts, married to one of R's brothers, said the same thing. I believe them both when they said that too. I didn't need it, but I guess affirmation and validation that I did a good thing was worth it, after all it had taken out of me.

And then I went to Missouri to visit my girlfriend (@somechubbynerd ) for a week. I was so relaxed and so forced to not do anything I didn't have to that I sort of just existed in a time and limbo of bliss? I have high anxiety as it is and, not feeling it for the first time in years, I sort of didn't know what to do with myself?

My girlfriend helped loads with that, though, by guiding me through places she wanted to take me and spend time with me. We cuddled and watched YouTube together. We baked cookies and made a chicken fettuccine dinner together. We went to the zoo together and then to one of her favorite restaurants in the same day. She made me so at ease and helped me be myself for once that I sort of just was so mind-numbed into pure bliss and peace with myself.

It felt great, looking back, but I just genuinely didn't know what to do about it. I hadn't felt that in years and I am still feeling it as I write this now. It feels so nice and so calming. This is awesome, given that I actually went in to urgent care for a panic attack that was gonna put me out for a few days, back in June/July. It sucked so much, but I'm glad they helped me recover so quickly. I couldn't afford to be down for too long. I am so essential to everyone around me and to be there for them, even if I know that they all can't always be there for me.

My girlfriend, as well as a few others, made me realize I probably need to start saying no more. Not because it's to be a bastard, but I can't give myself away like this again and again and get so little in return or no time to recover from the last thing. Obviously, I should still do stuff on a basis I choose, but yeah. Maybe I should say no a little more. It also made me realize that, while not anyone's particular fault, my summer was stolen from me. This summer was planned between my girlfriend and I, as well as a few mutual friends, to work together on art, writing and projects we have been invested in for a year or more and have to keep putting off due to life and work stuff. This was gonna be the summer we were all available...and then we weren't.

I'm still processing these last three months and the year or more so far, since I finally had a break long enough to realize what's going on with myself and my life and someone to bounce my thoughts off of that I couldn't with family. It has opened my eyes a bit more about my circumstances and what the near future might hold for me. I miss my girlfriend so much already and I felt so bad I wasn't crying as much as she was when she had to drop me back off at the train station, but I guess I was still processing it too?

Yeah, still processing things. Probably for a bit, too. I'll probably need some time to ease back into things here. All my blogs and what I was doing before sort of disappearing for a long time and also being interrupted from a lot of threads I wanted to continue or even start. I hope you all can be patient and understanding with me and I'll do my best to do the same. I love y'all and nothing will ever change that, okay? I just need some time to figure myself out again. Yeah. Just need more time...

[moonlightsapphic]

Y'all aren't ready for this storytime.

So in 9th grade, one of the loudest girls in our class fixated on making me her latest project. At the time, I was still learning to cope with (undiagnosed) selective mutism and was the weirdo in the class. S thought I was chill, and I just needed to socialise a little more: interact, take pictures with people, wear makeup.

As the months passed, we became really close. S was a bit of a disaster: Her family wasn't the most stable, and neither was her mental health. She was conventionally very pretty—curvy with silky waves dyed caramel, sharp facial features and confident poisture. She was a bit outspoken and active for the liking of most guys in our conservative south Asian small town, but just pretty and charismatic and elusive and ✨ deep ✨ enough (even as a teen) for men to overlook that and try to slide into her dms and such. S spent her teen years jumping from toxic relationship to toxic relationship—fortunately with people our own age only.

She was just the type to reel in my chronic empath, neurodivergent ass as well. I loved pleasing S, impressing her, hanging out with her, being vulnerable together, comforting her. She was one of the only people that could keep up with my hyperactive texting, and despite our big differences, we had enough common interests to have something to talk about nearly 24/7.

(Looking back, I can definitely see some neurodivergent traits in her as well.)

When I was deeply crushing on this dumb dude that I thought was the coolest because he played guitar, was good at math and expressed feelings™️ well, I was pretty private about it. S literally emotionally coaxed me into telling her the truth. We were up late texting; she was—unsurprisingly—pretty down and I was keeping her company. She asked, “You know, I consider you to be my closest friend, though I don‘t say it a lot ... Will you tell me the truth? Do you like him?” If I‘d read that in a book, I'd be sure there was some romantic tension between these two characters.

When I had my first weirdly-sexual gay dream at seventeen, I was alone in her room with S later that day and hyperventilating. I was already in a very monogamous (and boring, in restrospect) relationship with that same dude and very happy about it, but that moment truly was the first step in my bi awakening. (It was probably inspired by some of my favourite public figures of the time, like dodie, coming out and talking extensively about it.)

I distinctly remember this one night when my boyfriend (spoiler alert: he’s trash) had been mean and made me cry. I was scared he would break up with me in the morning over this one tiny little mistake I’d made. S stayed up with me all night, and by daybreak I felt a flicker of feelings deep inside, of possibilities.

Unfortunately, as we neared 12th grade graduation, S began to get more conservative. She started to put her religious beliefs above any and all personal principles she once had. Ergo, queer people are sinners and also women should cover up and listen to men plus the country should become a fully "Islamic state" and get rid of all other religious minorities to achieve doubtless true utopia.

Uhhh … yeah.

Incidentally, she seemed unworried about following the same rules herself—her “faith” really shone when she was telling other people what to do, or being bigoted against a certain (religious, racial, ethnic, queer, et cetera) minority group she herself didn’t identify with. It was really just an excuse to feed her ego, perhaps a coping mechanism even, and it was hypocritical.

Let me make it clear here that the beliefs she kept citing are mainly a very specific set of interpretations of Islamic scripture that’ve come to be widely taught in our region at this moment in time. They by no means reflect the beliefs of all Muslims (and, in this case, were very informed by the bigotry of the cis-heterosexual, perverted, greedy old men who historically created these rules to maintain their power). S here absolutely is not a representation of the lifestyle and disposition of every practicing Muslim person.

ANYWAY, she began to make remarks about me posting LGBTQ+ positivity content on my social media, or feminism of the brand she didn't like. In my conflicts with shitty dudes from school, she would only support me if her ~ beliefs ~ allowed it. Additionally, she’d always been pretty emotionally volatile, but it had gotten worse since graduating school—She would get mad or upset with me now for being absent, insensitive, et cetera, asking for reassurance but in intense defensive attack mode. It was behaviour I never encountered from any other platonic friend.

As you can see, S wasn't very good at maintaining boundaries, or being open to other points of view. Her negative approach to many things in life often rubbed off on me as well.

With time and growth I found more friends who were like-minded to myself, whom I didn't have to tiptoe around lest I offend them or set them off, who were far more loyal to me. I’m a sensitive person—and I found a warmer community, much better for my mental health. So in our twenties, S and I organically drifted apart.

When I (finally!) dumped my shitty boyfriend (he’d turned extremely sour over time because he hated that I’d grown a backbone), and began happily dating a woman that I was very much in love with at the end of the year, I realised that having friends who support my queer identity is non-negotiable to me now. Just interacting with the queerphobes from grade school hugely triggered me, and I decided I no longer needed to carefully maintain niceties with them.

And it would all have ended there, except S wasn’t having it. We had drifted apart a while ago, but as soon as she saw that I was posting a bunch of pictures with my girlfriend, she began spreading rumours trying to out the both of us.

(Mind you, we weren’t out to anyone yet at the time. S was purely speculating, but she was spot on—I just couldn’t really figure out why this was the thing she decided to fixate on.)

And then, as if she thought I would forgive her straightaway for attempting to out me, she started hitting me up in my dms every few months demanding I give her an explanation for why I abandoned her. Each time, I patiently told S it wasn’t intentional and I had had mental health troubles. (Namely, ADHD, which she herself had once convinced me was impossible.) If she truly wanted us to keep up with each other, she could just reply to my stories in good humour and ask me how I’m doing instead of repeatedly villainizing me out of the blue. (I never brought up the outing thing, or anything queer-related at all. I didn’t want to give her any more leverage than the bits and pieces of evidence she had dug up herself, conspiracy-style.) However, that would only keep her away temporarily.

Not going to lie, the way she kept coming back to gaslight me into taking her back was an exact copy of what my ex-boyfriend had done for months. It was hilarious, and tragic.

… And (I realised later) kind of gay??

She’s been in a relationship with a really docile (*cough* ball-less) dude who agrees with all her conservative principles since 12th grade. (Honestly, good for them, they deserve each other.) I don’t think S has ever had feelings for me as much as she simply felt possessive of me. She regards it as betrayal that I am happily out and queer, and she can’t tolerate that some other girl has replaced her as my one true ✨ gal pal ✨. She's jealous, but it's hard for me to believe her jealousy is purely platonic. It's like she wanted us to be a pair of suffering queers-in-denial sacrificing ourselves for neurotypical comphet society together, hand in hand, forever. For the greater good.

How romantic.

I noticed a few weeks ago that she's finally removed me from all her social media—around the same exact time that my ex-boyfriend (whom I haven’t spoken to in years) blocked me.

Ah, two breakups that I initiated years ago coming back uninvited, for attention that I literally have zero interest in providing.

So bringing back this post:

Reading this was like a major brain go brrr moment to me, because I was like ??? That’s a queer thing??? No way???

And then I read through the comments and saw that every single sapphic person was like “uhhh yep we never dated though good riddance,” or “ugh yes and we ended up dating and it was so toxic we broke up soon after good riddance”.

For the first time in my life, I actually considered that S might not have been a straight queerphobe, but an incredibly suppressed dumpster fire of a queer person with extreme internalized homophobia.

And … it all fits.

She's always been sultry and glamorous in a distinctly sapphic way; I just never was able to exactly put my finger on it. (In high school, sometimes I'd look her up and down and go whoa.) I can totally imagine a parallel universe in which we forget men and attempt to date each other instead. After the first few months of euphoria, she’d probably get us into an anxious-avoidant trap the same way my ex did. She’d cheat on me with a man because of her internalised homophobia, then dump me and come back crying to gaslight me a dozen times. It would take me much longer to get rid of her than it did to get rid of my dumb man ex—because ✨ shared queer trauma ✨.

I really, really dodged a bullet with that one. My girlfriend is the most wonderful, soft, and nurturing person I know, and she is my soulmate in more ways than one. I am very happy, and this is your PSA to not just date the one other queer person in your vicinity when you know you aren't good for each other. Be like me—run.

[burr-ell]

@essayofthoughts asked me to choose violence for CR and FE3H, so here is the FE3H post.

the character everyone gets wrong

Byleth. And admittedly I can see where it's difficult, because the game suffers from trying to make a protagonist who is an individual character while also acting as a self-insert, but Byleth isn't truly a self-insert. Her whole story starts out with her in isolation and ignorance and ends with her being literally enlightened and having the goddess dwell within her, and she discovers that she finds herself at her most complete when she's teaching and guiding and that she has a hidden talent in faith and healing magic. She discovers part of her heritage in a race that was nearly destroyed, and she keeps that legacy alive in her leadership.

Genuinely, as a Christian who's done a lot of deconstructing over the past few years, that story is really meaningful to me. And that doesn't mean it has to be meaningful to everyone, just that it's frustrating when it gets misunderstood as just "what Rhea made Byleth do" or something or even outright rejected as "Byleth should be fully HUMAN because humans are BETTER". Again, I get where it comes from, but full offense: neither of those stories are interesting.

10. worst part of fanon

The "Crest system". Y'all I cannot stress this enough: the Crest system doesn't exist. Yeah, some people have magic dragon blood, and some of that magic dragon blood is abused to help perpetuate an aristocracy. But there are several noble families that don't have the magic dragon blood who are more powerful and respected than the families who do, and blaming the Crests for everything is completely ignorant of the fact that abusive systems would exist completely independent of the magic dragon blood and that this is in some ways part of the point. Also, some of y'all are real weird about how you talk about Rhea in this context.

13. worst blorbofication

Ugh, probably Claude. He represents a middle ground among the factions who primarily wants to learn the truth, and his route is in many ways about his own enlightenment alongside Byleth's; he's the one who ends up actually ending the threat within Fodlan's shadows. But he keeps getting flattened into this "let's smash the church bestie" character at best because tons of people in the fandom like the idea of tearing down religion but just don't want to be violent about it, when that was very much not the point Claude was trying to make.

[uncle-dusknoir]

SHIT I forgot I should do one of those pinned posts explaining who I am. i mean probably i kinda like the mystery but eh whatever.

im Basil. unovan. she/her. Hex Maniac "curse fanatic" by circumstance.

blog title source - personal curse tracker

I've got Toothpaste, he's a shiny Obstagoon and my baby boy; Thyme, that Dusknoir, my uncle; Jupetta, a Banette, Thyme's Pokemon before he turned into a Dusknoir.

There's also Skorna, the bone Runerigus. She's just a pest.

Deckard, a white-furred Zorua (NOT HISUIAN) i found in my backyard. He's baby

Mint, a Sneasel I got as a gift from a friend of mine 💜 she's very bity

I've also got a new Poryphone named Porypory. it speaks in pink, is very polite.

oh and the 19 shuppet from the halloween party

... And Bluebell! An Alolan Meowth I found in the dumpster in Alola. She's a million years old and the sweetest cat in the world

image of thyme here

image of skorna here

image of toothpaste here (also me)

image of jupetta (mostly toothpaste tho)

image of deckard (and also me)

image of mint (and my arm)

this weird breloom someone let loose outside my house??

> ooc notes under the cut

9/15/23 updated her 'main' image to be more in line with how i draw her

subscribed blogs only dash (I'm really just putting this here for myself but if y'all need it idm)

my other pokeirl blogs are @crossbones-n-skull and @nifuunbakufuun!

join the hex maniac discord server! more info (kinda) in linked tumblr post. if the link is dead lmk ill fix it (discord added a thirty day link cap)

basil's cousin, sage, is over at @sage-the-exorcist (run by my friend, statik!) she currently has him blocked (its not working)

additional facts for my own reference:

skorna speaks in orange.

thyme speaks in green.

porypory speaks in pink.

jupetta, toothpaste, and deckard don't speak through the blog. (however, if given voice through an event, their text will be colored as seen.)

two voice claims that i'm debating (but i take suggestions)

family bibliography (books)

loose timeline

view the blog in chronological order here! (bear in mind there is quite a lot. lol)

Basil is 25 (as of nov 1st 2023!). I'm (the mod) 19.

she lives in the woods around icirrus city, in an old house that she just... took. it was abandoned so what about it its hers now

thyme the dusknoir is her uncle. he did not die naturally.

jupetta the banette was her uncle's, but technically is hers now. she inexplicably knows Teleport.

skorna the runerigus isn't kept to a Pokeball, as she and Basil are literally bound to each other through possession bullshit.

back when thyme was alive, they did a LOT of travelling. she's primarily been to galar and kalos, but have stopped in every region at least once. only place they haven't been to is paldea, and that's because thyme isn't allowed in because he tried to go in the crater

thyme had a TV show.

mun is aromantic, but Basil is bisexual with a female lean

post detailing Basil and Skorna's connection

old ref image, for archival purposes:

if anyone ever wants to plot anything, feel free to dm me! I'm always down, could be fun. I just don't do "in-person" RP on Tumblr- this is strictly a social media site for the character. update- i will rarely do off-rotumblr RP, but it is not going to be frequent. all threads will be completely under readmores

note that, while Basil most likely won't be super active in high-stakes plotlines, i might have her react to some, especially if i find them interesting. she's no main character.

if you want your character to know basil out-of-rotumblr, feel free to DM me here on tumblr! my PMs, unless specified are an ooc-only zone and im always happy to chat about rp.

(however, please keep in mind that i'm really not one for small talk that doesn't have to do with rp; i have too many bad experiences with people befriending me in my PMs and then just offloading trauma. i don't shut the fuck up in discord servers where other people are though lmao.)

on that note, i do have a discord! if you wanna invite me to any servers feel free to pm me about that too!

[celestelunisea16]

would they pin for eachother because if so their friends just have to hear them yap constantly about eachother and they're like please just ask him OUT

or it's just luck realizes first and pins and when starlo realizes he's not taking any chances this time and goes straight for it

Good question, Anon, good question...

This would be a yes for Starlo. I can see Starlo start pining for Lucifer like a few weeks before they start dating without even realizing it. Like he's first talking to the Fiestyj Five and Ceroba about things that they could be doing for the town, then a few minutes later, this guy is unknowingly talking about Lucifer a minute later. Not even kidding. After several days of this, I'm betting Ceroba and the four literally tell him just to plan a day and confess to him.

Lucifer probably would, I can also see him pining after Starlo after like several days before they start dating as well. Like after the incident that allowed Lucifer and Starlo to meet and after the several months that they spent together as friends, this man is sitting at home with his ducks trying to make some little cowboy ducks or he's helping his daughter with anything she needs.

At the hotel, this man is just having a normal conversation with his daughter while trying to help her with something, and then Charlie asks about how he and Starlo are doing together and then Lucifer is almost calmly gushing over him. Like this.

"So, dad, how has everything been going with you and that Starlo guy from the other world?"

"Oh, well, that's an odd question. Why would you ask that?"

"Well, I was mostly just asking, because you've visited his world a lot in the past few days, so I assumed you both spent a lot of time together."

"Well, we have... Me and Starlo have spent a lot of time together and he's even come here on several occasions. He has mostly only been to the castle, but I have taken him out to see some of the good things we have to offer. I think at one point in some of our little trips, he got so happy about this one item that really hit his interests and-"

Oh yeah, he would be talking about Starlo for one or two hours straight. Three if he's feeling extra talkative and four of he could gush for more. Everyone in the hotel is listening like birds on a wire while Lucifer is gushing over some Star guy. After that hour, I'm pretty sure Angel Dust would most likely yell out the most absurd or vulgar sentence. (Y'all know exactly what I mean.)

Everyone in the hotel is actually telling Lucifer to just confess to Starlo and Lucifer, for a while, is actually HUMBLE, the opposite of Pride, saying that Starlo is too good for him, and that he doesn't wanna ruin his life with any of his own problems. Around the second to last day before, I feel like everyone in the hotel would actually finally get him to stand up and plan a day for him to go to Starlo and ask him out on a date.

When they do, I'm pretty sure they plan a day at the Cafe in Oasis Valley to do something. As an extra measure, I feel like Charlie and Vaggie would probably go with Lucifer as back up sitting in a booth behind Starlo, while Ceroba and the Five are just giving Starlo silent thumbs up from the window behind Lucifer. Now, I'm going to say, I absolutely agree Starlo is the one who would actually pop the question of dating Lucifer.

I feel like he would have someone actually push him to ask it though. Like you could have Angel Dust come with Charlie and Vaggie as a way to be like, "Ok, they're becoming awkward and not even asking each other out, send in the jealousy creator." And then literally low and behold, Charlie had Angel in a Western Dress, looking absolutely gorgeous.

Angel Dust would just walk up to them with a sassy looking walk and that little hip thingy some people can do in dresses, and then just flirt with Lucifer. The whole entire conversation goes as such:

"Hey there, pretty boy. You look absolutely handsome this fine evening, lemme tell you! Wanna maybe come over to my place later~?"

"Uh... What-"

"Oh don't be so shy, small guy, I just think you look good~! But you know where you'd look way better a-"

"Sorry miss/mister, this man is taken."

"Oh, really? But he didn't seem taken five seconds ag-"

"Well, that's because I just asked and you interrupted him when he was about to answer. Now, Lucifer, go ahead and answer the question, it's no rush, darlin'. I'll make sure this person stays in line while you think on it."

"... Yeah, I would love nothing more than to go out with you"

Soon after Lucifer accepts, you can literally hear cheering from both outside the cafe AND from the inside of the Cafe, which then spreads from Charlie, Vaggie, Ceroba and the Four cheering to EVERYONE in the cafe cheering. (Except for Angel Dust, he had to act disappointed and he can't let that act down. He celebrated with the others once they got back to Hell though.)

Ah, the sound of true love being accepted~! TuT

[weirdcrocodilelady]

hey!! saw you asking for arthur x reader prompts. i’m sorry if this isn’t what you were really looking for but could you do something more platonic? like arthur being a bit of a father figure for reader :)

I actually think about Harrow as a father (or father figure) a lot...I think he'd be really good at it. He talks to that teenage girl in Episode 2 and she seems really comfortable with him, and it makes me think he probably takes a personal interest in all his followers, regardless of age, and really has that special set of "people skills" that lets him manipulate form close relationships fairly easily. I mean, he's a cult leader. They're kind of known for that...

...But putting aside the cult stuff for now, here's some nice wholesome headcanons:

If he had a "kid" kid (meaning under 18), I think he would definitely homeschool them. He kind of toes the line between wanting to control their learning and be aware of what they're up to at all times, but also having a sincere desire to nurture their interests and let them learn at their own pace without the restrictions of grades, standardized tests, etc. So god forbid he catches his kid reading smutty fanfic that isn't appropriate for their age, he might instead help them find reading material that's more age appropriate but that they still find interesting, and maybe even help them write their own stories. (it's called redirecting, y'all)

I think he would be more restrictive when it comes to their social activities, unfortunately. His worst fear would be for their scales to not balance, so he doesn't let them hang out with anyone who might pressure them to do things that might affect that balance. The hard part of that is, Ammit doesn't exactly offer a handbook detailing what specific activities affect a person's scales, and a kid going to the mall with their friends unsupervised will probably not do anything evil, but why risk it, right?

I have no idea where this came from, but I have this random headcanon that he doesn't trust doctors? So he'd take his kid to get checkups and vaccines and everything only because there isn't really a safe alternative, but he'd be very reluctant and it would probably be one of the rare times he actually appears nervous or anxious to other people. Other than that, he relies on alternative medicines as much as possible and is kind of a genius at that stuff. (Again, this is a REALLY random headcanon that came to me out of nowhere one day, so feel free to take or leave it)

Part of my general backstory for him involves him being really poor for a lot of his life, then ending up with a lot of money due to getting wealthy "backers" on his side when he started the Ammit Club (I decided a while back that Billy Fitzgerald is a millionaire, again, I have no idea where these headcanons are coming from). So if you lived with him when he was younger, money would have been tight and there probably wouldn't have been many luxuries. But he would make things special for you whenever he could. I imagine he's very creative in the kitchen (he had Victor's recipe that one time, but who's to say he couldn't whip up his own unique lentil soup on a whim if he wanted?) and could make all kinds of delicious meals with even the most seemingly random ingredients.

He expects all his followers to help maintain the community as much as they're able to, and it would be the same for those he considers family. But he's not one of those leaders/parental figures who just gives a command and expects you to understand how to do it without any instruction. If someone is new, or younger, or doesn't seem to understand the task, he would explain more clearly or demonstrate, whatever kind of help you needed. He would also give you tips on doing your work more efficiently or easily, if it seems like you're getting bogged down or discouraged. You can come to him with literally anything you're having trouble with, even if it seems like a really simple task that you "should" be able to complete with no problem. He's incredibly patient and a great teacher/mentor.

I fully believe the majority of his physical touches are genuine, and I think touch is probably his love language. Even though he also uses touch to manipulate people into trusting him, he knows that method works for a reason. If you don't like being touched, or you're not comfortable with it at a certain time, you'd have to tell him because his instinct is to reach out and hug you when you're upset. But once you've told him, you'll never have to tell him a second time. He can be perfectly respectful of boundaries when he wants to be (i.e. when the person isn't standing in the way of him springing his goddess free).

I hope this is the kind of thing you were looking for...again, some of these are pretty specific headcanons I made up, so you can take or leave those if you want😅

Thanks for the ask!!!

[yall-hate-kids-tourney]

Loser Round 7: Ken Amada (Persona) vs. Mabel Pines (Gravity Falls)

Propaganda below the cut

Ken Amada (11):

y'all are all for "murder and revenge plots" until is a 10 y/o boy who watched his mother die and started to become conflicted after realizing his moms killer is a secretly kind traumatized teenager to the point where the 10 y/o boy attempts to kill himself by giving himself up to assassins.

bro he's 10.

----

ken amada is such an interesting character with the unfortunate circumstances of having little screentime and atlus deciding to ruin his reputation forever by giving him a romance choice in the fem protag route. ken is a child who lost his mother at NINE. nobody ever believed him when he said that she was murdered, and that he saw who killed her. hes miserable, and all everyone around him does is give him sympathy while hes suffering and was forced to grow up before even going into middle school. hes angry and determined to get revenge on the person who killed his mother, and he doesnt even see the own value in living anymore beyond getting that revenge. hes more mature than most of his peers, and is desperate to be seen as an adult.but at the same time, he is still a child who likes superhero shows.

----

OH GOD WHERE DO I START

First there's the normal "The fandom hates kids" complaints of "He's so whiny" "he's so annoying" "oh my god kid just SHUT UP" y'know, the typical fandom stuff that makes you wonder if these people have ever talked to a child in their life

Second, there's (spoilers)...

October 4th, and the ENTIRE FANDOM is calling this kid a murderer.

For context, the moment in question doesn't necessarily paint him in the best light but its still understandable. Your team is going on a mission while Ken and another character named Shinjiro are away. In an alleyway, they have a talk where it is revealed that on that night a year priar to the game, Kens mom was killed in that allleyway by Shinjiro's Persona (Which, by the Rules of the Game Lore, basically means By Shinjiro). Ken tried to tell the authorities, the authorities didn't believe him because Magic Reasons and the death was ruled an accident.

Of course Ken is Fucking Pissed and wants revenge

However, because of Talk, he ACTIVELY CALMS DOWN, and realises "Hey, I probably shouldn't kill someone. Despite them, y'know, killing my mom"

HOWEVER REVOLVER JESUS COMES IN AND RUINS EVERYTHING BY SHOOTING SHINJIRO. AND LIKE, IF YOU PLAY P3P YOU CAN /AVOID THE DEATH THING/

AND EVERYONE BLAMES /KEN/. AND ONLY KEN.

And third (yes, there's a THIRD) IS THE FUCKING FEMC ROMANCE THING. WHICH JUST...SHOULDN'T HAVE EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE. BUT NOW HE'S "SHOTA BAIT" BECAUSE WE HAVE TO BLAME THE CHILD FOR THE AUTHORITY FIGURE COMING ONTO THEM 😒

Mabel Pines (12):

I literally saw a tiktok today about how Mabel is a bad person. She’s 12! Like yes, she has made some mistakes and bad choices, but so has everyone else. And I never see any of the other characters in the show criticized the way she is. Everyone in the show has made mistakes (Grunkle Stan commits crimes practically every episode ffs) but because Mabel is a 12 year old girl and acts like it, she gets the most hate. Mabel deserves to be loved 🩷

----

girl gets so much flack for being... immature and kind of selfish at age 12? like she had whole video essays made on why she is a horrible person who deserves punishment. god forbid girls be silly

----

!!! Spoilers for Gravity Falls last 5 episodes !!!

This has gone down a lot but when the Weirdmaggedon arc was happening, the finale of the series, a big part of the fandom started hating Mabel because she accidentally caused the Weirdmaggedon (basically an apocalypse + bizarre shit like the water tower becoming an eight-legged monster with a giant mouth).

For context, in the episode that starts this arc, "Dipper and Mabel vs The Future", Mabel is really excited to the end of their summer vacation at Grunkle Stan's house, since it will be her and Dipper's 13th birthday and they will enter high school (her idea of high school of course coming from teen movies). But then this whole idea starts to shatter when Wendy tells her that high school isn't like a Disney musical, but it's okay, she will get through this since she will be with Dipper, her twin brother...

Except, that Dipper receives an invitation by Grunkle Stan's scientist brother Ford to become his apprentice after summer ends, staying in Gravity Falls, without Mabel. When she discovers it, she gets really mad at him and in a fit of rage, she accidentally picks Dipper's bag instead of hers and runs off to the woods.

When she gets there, Blendin, a time-travelling friend of theirs finds her and tells her that he has a way of making her brother stay with her, and make the summer take a little more to end, and that he just needed a little thing that Dipper has in his bag. That thing is a dimensional rift that Dipper and Ford contained to not cause the Weirdmaggedon, but Mabel didn't knew about that and gives it to Blendin. Blendin then breaks it and it's revealed that Bill Cipher was controlling Blendin to get the rift and release the Weirdmaggedon. He then traps Mabel in a bubble, starting the final arc of the series.

So, a few episodes later, that bubble she's in is revealed to be a world of fantasy that she controls, and that she didn't want to leave that world, as she was scared of growing up etc.

Context given, A LOT OF PEOPLE HATED HER FOR THIS. Suddenly people started seeing Mabel as just a selfish girl who wanted things only her way, when she was only a 12-year-old scared of growing up without her twin brother (they do end up going back together at the end but still).

The worst part is that apparently the people behind it took note of this, and on the comics that where released after the finale, she is a selfish spoiled brat. I haven't read the comics though so I'm going off what some people said about it.

[azraeldoesnotdispute]

y'all asked for it

okay, my bestie went back home, so I have some free time to write a fucking essay about this movie *cracks knuckles*

the barbie movie is not without it's issues, but overall, the movie perfectly points out imbalance, a mirrored world to our own. we have the patriarchy here in the real world and anyone with half a brain can see how unequal it is, for both woman and men. in barbieland, it's a bit more subtle, but it's definitely there and you really only need to lightly scratch the surface to see that.

I've had some people in the notes of my other post talking about how the matriarchy of barbieland isn't near as bad as the patriarchy that ken brought about, but it is bad, just differently than what you'd think. no, barbie's aren't gross and rapey towards ken's but they ignore them and use them just as props whenever they feel like it before ignoring them. can you tell me where the ken's live? because barbie couldn't tell me, hell even Ryan doesn't know. direct quote from an interview:

"We're still not sure what happens to the Kens when the Barbies go home. We think they huddle on the beach for warmth."

this is supported by the fact that when ken brings the patriarchy to barbieland, they don't "dudebro" up their own houses, they do it to the barbies houses. while we're on the topic of them being gross and rapey, some people are acting like that's the most unforgivable thing, but are ignoring the fact that they're only acting like that because they weren't taught any better. they learned about patriarchy from books that said that women have to be subservient, and their whole existence thus far has been them doing whatever the barbies wanted/striving to get the barbies attention, and then discarded when the barbies were done with them.

if you were treated like that, wouldn't you think, hm maybe it's our time to shine? except they did it in the worst possible way. so when I say the matriarchy is just as bad as the patriarchy, THAT'S what I mean. the kens were made to feel like less, just the way women are made to feel like less in the real world.

patriarchy teaches men that they should force themselves/their will onto women and men seen as "lesser" (see: Allen and the rejected Kens). matriarchy is more subtle, in that they used the kens as props and ignored the "lesser" men (see: Allen, and how no one ever really talked to him, not the barbies, and not the kens, who were likely just following the barbies lead.)

following up on the second part of my post: ken was never given any kind of identity outside of being barbie's boyfriend, which is both another stab at "matriarchy bad" and a reflection of how women in the real world are basically taught to put men (and children if they have them) first before themselves, which is so damaging. ken was literally created to just be barbie's boyfriend, she had no say in this, and she doesn't seem to be interested in him in the slightest, other than distant friendship, probably because he's basically an over eager puppy and she feels weird about it. BUT she also doesn't really like him when he's pretending to be all tough and badass either, she is disgusted.

the best part of the movie was that barbie told ken that he needed to find out who he was instead of constantly living her shadow, which I think is a lesson everyone should internalize. you can't know who you are if you're constantly trying to live for a single person, you have to know who you are before you can love yourself or anyone else.

also the story arc of sasha and gloria, such a wonderful one that deserves its own essay but I don't have the time to do so, just wanted to add that it was also a great way to show how both generations feel about this kind of them. us old folks want our childhood back, when it was simply playing with barbies and making up stories, while gen z is sorta jaded and sees everything in black and white instead of the grey areas between