#Ok you two f+ck already!

[celestelunisea16]

would they pin for eachother because if so their friends just have to hear them yap constantly about eachother and they're like please just ask him OUT

or it's just luck realizes first and pins and when starlo realizes he's not taking any chances this time and goes straight for it

Good question, Anon, good question...

This would be a yes for Starlo. I can see Starlo start pining for Lucifer like a few weeks before they start dating without even realizing it. Like he's first talking to the Fiestyj Five and Ceroba about things that they could be doing for the town, then a few minutes later, this guy is unknowingly talking about Lucifer a minute later. Not even kidding. After several days of this, I'm betting Ceroba and the four literally tell him just to plan a day and confess to him.

Lucifer probably would, I can also see him pining after Starlo after like several days before they start dating as well. Like after the incident that allowed Lucifer and Starlo to meet and after the several months that they spent together as friends, this man is sitting at home with his ducks trying to make some little cowboy ducks or he's helping his daughter with anything she needs.

At the hotel, this man is just having a normal conversation with his daughter while trying to help her with something, and then Charlie asks about how he and Starlo are doing together and then Lucifer is almost calmly gushing over him. Like this.

"So, dad, how has everything been going with you and that Starlo guy from the other world?"

"Oh, well, that's an odd question. Why would you ask that?"

"Well, I was mostly just asking, because you've visited his world a lot in the past few days, so I assumed you both spent a lot of time together."

"Well, we have... Me and Starlo have spent a lot of time together and he's even come here on several occasions. He has mostly only been to the castle, but I have taken him out to see some of the good things we have to offer. I think at one point in some of our little trips, he got so happy about this one item that really hit his interests and-"

Oh yeah, he would be talking about Starlo for one or two hours straight. Three if he's feeling extra talkative and four of he could gush for more. Everyone in the hotel is listening like birds on a wire while Lucifer is gushing over some Star guy. After that hour, I'm pretty sure Angel Dust would most likely yell out the most absurd or vulgar sentence. (Y'all know exactly what I mean.)

Everyone in the hotel is actually telling Lucifer to just confess to Starlo and Lucifer, for a while, is actually HUMBLE, the opposite of Pride, saying that Starlo is too good for him, and that he doesn't wanna ruin his life with any of his own problems. Around the second to last day before, I feel like everyone in the hotel would actually finally get him to stand up and plan a day for him to go to Starlo and ask him out on a date.

When they do, I'm pretty sure they plan a day at the Cafe in Oasis Valley to do something. As an extra measure, I feel like Charlie and Vaggie would probably go with Lucifer as back up sitting in a booth behind Starlo, while Ceroba and the Five are just giving Starlo silent thumbs up from the window behind Lucifer. Now, I'm going to say, I absolutely agree Starlo is the one who would actually pop the question of dating Lucifer.

I feel like he would have someone actually push him to ask it though. Like you could have Angel Dust come with Charlie and Vaggie as a way to be like, "Ok, they're becoming awkward and not even asking each other out, send in the jealousy creator." And then literally low and behold, Charlie had Angel in a Western Dress, looking absolutely gorgeous.

Angel Dust would just walk up to them with a sassy looking walk and that little hip thingy some people can do in dresses, and then just flirt with Lucifer. The whole entire conversation goes as such:

"Hey there, pretty boy. You look absolutely handsome this fine evening, lemme tell you! Wanna maybe come over to my place later~?"

"Uh... What-"

"Oh don't be so shy, small guy, I just think you look good~! But you know where you'd look way better a-"

"Sorry miss/mister, this man is taken."

"Oh, really? But he didn't seem taken five seconds ag-"

"Well, that's because I just asked and you interrupted him when he was about to answer. Now, Lucifer, go ahead and answer the question, it's no rush, darlin'. I'll make sure this person stays in line while you think on it."

"... Yeah, I would love nothing more than to go out with you"

Soon after Lucifer accepts, you can literally hear cheering from both outside the cafe AND from the inside of the Cafe, which then spreads from Charlie, Vaggie, Ceroba and the Four cheering to EVERYONE in the cafe cheering. (Except for Angel Dust, he had to act disappointed and he can't let that act down. He celebrated with the others once they got back to Hell though.)

Ah, the sound of true love being accepted~! TuT

[ijustneedtoshout]

I am so mad at Harold and George in the captain underpants movie

like I’m sorry but I am so p!ssed at these little bastards

[worldlxvlys]

A CHRIS X READER THAT IS POC I BEG YOU ON MY HANDS AND KNEES BUT YK HOW THEY DID THAT COLLAB WITH SAM AND COLBY, TARA, JAKE, LARRAY AND JOHNNIE

BUT DURING THE COLLAB CHRIS WAS BEING REAL TOUCHY WITH THE READER LIKE WHEN SHE BENDS OVER HED PUT HIS HANDS ON HER CROTCH BUT NB SEES IT AND THEY EVENTUALLY F*CK PLS

last time

chris sturniolo x poc! reader

warnings: smutttt, p in v, cursing, unprotected sex, cream pie, choking, poc! reader, sexual jokes

a/n: writing for this friend group was so funnn

enjoyyy<33

“wait, ok chris! let me get up!” i exclaimed, laughing as chris squeezed his arms around me tighter.

we were currently at the triplet’s house with his brothers, jake, johnnie, tara, larray, sam, and colby.

when the entire group agreed we were hungry, i offered to make us something.

“so, what’s on the menu?” colby asked, eyebrows raised as he clapped his hands together excitedly.

“nothing, if chris doesn’t let me get up to make it” i spoke, causing him to glare up at me and squeeze me even tighter.

upon hearing the words, the entire group yelled at chris to get off of me, the hunger beginning to make them cranky.

“fine” he grumbled as he let go of me, allowing me to stand up.

i began to make my way to the kitchen when tara spoke up, “wait! i’ll help you” she smiled as she walked over to me.

once we got to the kitchen, which happened to be just out of earshot from the couch that the rest of the group resided on, she began to speak.

“so, you and chris aren’t together, right?” she asked.

i raised my eyebrows at her suspiciously at the statement, squinting at her. “why?”

she lightly chuckled at that, “i just noticed you guys are really touchy, but i don’t wanna assume anything” she said, raising her hands in defense.

i laughed at the gesture, “no, you’re ok. i don’t know what we are, honestly. i mean, we’re really close, probably closer than friends should be. but, neither of us are ready for a relationship, you know?”

it was true, chris and i had done some questionable things for just being friends.

it’s not like we had sex often, we just happened to get caught up in the moment once or twice.

…and a few times after that…. and a few more after those times.

but other than that, we had a completely normal friendship.

we were both aware of each other’s feelings, but we were content with where our relationship was at.

why risk messing everything up when we’re both happy ?

“so you guys don’t want to be in a relationship, you just want to act like you’re in one?” she pointed out, “that logic seems a bit flawed to me”

“you do have a point, but honestly? change is scary, and i’m not willing to completely dismantle mine and chris’s relationship because i got greedy” i spoke.

she tilted her head, squinting her eyes, “is that not what you’re doing right now?” she deadpanned. “you’re not worried that fucking around will ruin your relationship first?”

my eyes widened at the statement, “when did i say we were fucking around?” i defended, taken aback at how quickly she was able to figure it out.

“so y’all are? i knew it!” larray joined in, suddenly appearing next to me.

i quickly shushed him, not wanting chris to hear the conversation from his spot on the couch.

“keep your voice down, he’s right there! and where did you even come from?” i asked.

i glanced over to chris to determine whether he had heard the conversation, only to be met with his eyes already on me.

“you think he knows we’re talking about him?” tara whispered to us, catching his gaze on me.

“i don’t know, but girl he’s eye fucking the shit out of you right now” larray told me.

my jaw dropped at his words, a light giggle falling from my lips.

“oh our girl’s getting dicked down tonight” tara joined in.

“y’all have to stop” i spoke, the two collectively laughing at my flustered state.

suddenly, chris got up from his spot, beginning to walk over to the kitchen.

“oh shit, he’s coming over” i whispered to them.

“okay girl, go get your pasta and lobster” larray spoke, beginning to walk away.

“you got this!” tara whispered, walking away with him.

before i knew it, chris stood in front of me, a light smirk growing on his face.

“you guys talkin about me?” he asked, his hands finding their way to my waist.

“no” i denied, despite of us both knowing it wasn’t true.

"mmhm, you tell them how good i make you feel?” he asked as his fingers ran over the skin under my t-shirt.

“chris” i spoke, swallowing harshly.

“how you act all innocent in front of everyone else, but in bed you’re a freak?” he whispered into my ear.

“chris!” i scolded him, lightly slapping his chest. “what’s gotten into you?”

“what do you think? you’re walking around in this skirt, showing off your thighs. all i can think about is shoving my head between them” he spoke, his hands running down my body.

just before they could make their way to my thighs, a voice made us pull away, “you guys are real cute and all, but i’m hungry! chris, please just let her make our food” jake yelled from his spot.

his words caused tara to smack him upside the head, his face contorting into a wince at the feeling.

“what are you making anyway? we have, like, no food in our fridge” matt spoke up.

“oh, i know. i was just gonna make pizza rolls” i answered.

“we don’t have any pizza rolls” nick spoke, brows furrowing in confusion.

“yeah, we do” chris spoke, pulling them out of the freezer, “i bought her some”

i smiled bashfully at the statement, mouthing a “thank you” to chris.

he lightly nudged me with his shoulder in response, a smile of his own growing on his face.

“you two make me sick” colby spoke, “don’t be jealous, it’s not my fault no one buys you pizza rolls” i defended.

his eyes widened at that, taking offense to the words.

“ok, but wait, you said you were cooking something. this entire time i thought you were actually making us a meal” nick said, the group making noises of agreement.

“listen, y’all ! i’m not, nor did i ever claim to be a chef. i don’t know what you thought, but you were wrong” i spoke playfully.

“and nick, you know there’s no food, this is your house. where did you think i was getting ingredients from?” i asked as i placed the pizza rolls on a sheet.

“girl i don’t know, but pizza rolls aren’t gonna fill anyone up, those are like appetizers”

“ok then don’t eat any” i shrugged as i finished emptying the package.

“y’all can order something if you want, i’m really just craving pizza rolls” with that the group began to have a conversation about what they wanted to order.

“i’ll have some of your pizza rolls” chris spoke from beside me.

“good” i smiled up at him, before grabbing the baking sheet to place in the oven.

i bent over, pulling the oven open to place the sheet on the rack.

when my skirt rose up slightly, chris didn’t waist a second in placing his hand on my ass.

he quickly dipped his fingers into my panties, rubbing my heat.

he used his free hand to pull my front half back up, quickly covering my mouth with the palm of his hand.

“hmphhh” i lightly moaned into his hands, as his fingers explored my wetness, collecting my arousal on his fingers.

before i knew it, his fingers left my body, as he turned me around to face him.

he placed his fingers, which were now coated in my juices, into his mouth.

i watched intently as his tongue swirled around each finger, lapping at them like a starved man.

“hm, just needed a taste” he spoke, smirking at my shocked state, “you should probably close that”

“close what?” i asked him as i blinked rapidly, attempting to recover from his actions.

he nodded towards the oven with his head, “i don’t know how well they’ll cook if you leave the door open” he raised his eyebrows at me.

he was having the time of his life right now.

“uh- yeah, yeah you’re right” i spoke as i quickly closed the oven door.

“need some help with that?” chris asked as he stared down at my thighs, which were involuntarily clenching together.

i was doing my best to hold it together, but his actions turned me on far more than i’d like to admit.

“i’m fine” i spoke quickly, hoping he wouldn’t point out the fact that i was obviously lying.

but he, being chris, would never give me the luxury of sparing me from his teasing.

“really? you don’t look fine. you look like you need to be ruined” he whispered into my ear.

“chris, i’m not gonna have sex with you with all of these people in the house”

“really? don’t think that’s stopped you before” he spoke cockily.

“we said that the last time was gonna be it, remember?” i reminded him, placing my hand on his chest.

“yeah, you’re right, we have to stop. so we’re done doing this” he nodded his head at me.

“yup, that’s it. it’s done”

well, it was done. until-

“fuck, chris! yes, yes, yes ! right fucking there, holy shit” i did my best to keep quiet, as chris pounded into me from behind.

“one last time, just one last time” he whispered to himself while he drove himself in and out of me like his life depended on it.

“if this is the last time, i’m gonna make sure you remember that no one else will ever fuck you like i do” he whispered into my ear, chest pressing against my back while my eyes rolled into the back of my head.

“ you got that? can you say it back to me, princess? “

“i- no one, no one will ever fuck me like you do” i heaved out, fisting his sheets as continued to push himself deep inside of me.

“damn right” he rasped, as he gave my ass a slap, eliciting a moan from me.

“god, what did i do to deserve you? you’re so fucking good for me, holy shit” his head fell back as he moaned out.

“you feel so good in me, chris. don’t want anyone else, just you” i spoke back to him.

“yeah? am i making you feel good, baby? that’s all i ever want, just want you to feel good” he whispered, his fingers digging into my waist.

“you always do, baby. always feel so good with you” i moaned back.

my mind grew fuzzy as he went from giving sharp, quick thrusts to slow and deep ones, allowing me to feel every inch of him.

“love fucking you hard, but i gotta show you how much i care bout you” he spoke before burying his nose into my neck.

he placed a sweet kiss to the skin, before pulling it between his lips.

he sucked on the skin until it became darker, making it known that he had been there.

his arms wrapped around my waist, holding me close to his body as his cock stretched out my pussy.

“i don’t- fuck chris, it’s so good” i choked out as he continued to leave kisses against my skin.

“love seeing you like this, all fucked out under me. you’re so fucking beautiful, can’t believe you’re even real” he whispered.

“all yours, chris. you’re the only one who gets to see me like this”

i pushed my hips back into him, grinding on his dick, as he wrapped a hand around my neck to choke me.

“god, oh my-” he whined out his dick twitching inside of me.

“you gonna cum for me, chris?” i asked as i felt myself on the brink of my own orgasm.

“yes, yes, please cum with me” he whispered, head dropping to the crook of my neck as he shot his seed inside of me.

he continued to thrust into me, the coil in my stomach snapping as i coated his cock in my pleasure.

coaxing me through my orgasm, he gave a few more sloppy thrusts, before gently pulling out of me.

“did so good for me” he mumbled, pressing a light kiss to my shoulder.

“was that good ? did i hurt you?” he asked as he went to lay down next to me.

“of course it was good, chris. and i’m okay” i told him, cupping his cheek.

“good, let me clean you up and we can cuddle?” he asked, a grin taking over his features.

“yeah, sounds good“ i spoke as i heard my phone vibrate on chris’s nightstand.

when i opened it up, i was met with unopened text messages:

THE ULTIMATE CROSSOVER ❗️(10 MEMBERS)

matty b 💁🏻‍♂️ 9:01 pm

SHUT THE HELL UP ! WE CAN HEAR YOU ALL THE WAY OUT HERE

nick 👑 9:01 pm

oh great you guys pissed off mat

(i agree w him)

johnnie 🧛🏻 9:02 pm

i’m just waiting for my food

jake 🕸️ 9:10 pm

CHRIS STOP FUCKING AND TELL US WHAT U WANT SO WE CAN ORDER OUR FOOD

tara 👅 9:10 pm

YOU SHOULD’VE GOTTEN IT BEFORE THEY DISAPPEARED TOGETHER

TF WERE U EXPECTING DUMBASS

larray 💅🏽 9:15 pm

🍝+ 🦞

if it’s not snowing she ain’t going y’all

sam 👻🌝 9:34 pm

update: we ate your pizza rolls

colby 👻🌚 9:34 pm

we’re still hungry hurry up

y/n ⭐️ 9:41 pm

MY PIZZA ROLLS ???

FUCK EVERY SINGLE ONE OF U HOES

IMMA FIGHT Y’ALL 🤺🤺

chris 🦌 9:41 pm

oops

my bad guys

nick 👑 9:42 pm

chris come do the walk of shame out here so i can beat your ass 🙂

TARA 🧚🏻‍♀️ 9:20 pm

🌀🌀🌀🌀

masterlist

tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @sturnssx @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @sturniolololover @meg-sturniolo @yamamasjumpercables @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07 @breeloveschris @luverboychris

[lilirari]

🧋 everyone thinks pedri should stop pining for you because you 'don't give a f*ck' about him but they don't know what your actual relationship with the footballer is.

💌 pedri gonzález x fem! joao felix's bff! reader (social media au)

🌟 cw : pedri being a total simp, cheesy pick-up lines, translated spanish & portuguese sentences, timelines don't matter

💭 author's note : this is for my beloved pookie @leclercloml ! ilysm <3 idk if the ending parts make sense but please just bear with it 😞

instagram 🎥

yourinstagram

📍 new york city, usa

liked by pedri, joaofelix79, jennaortega and 13,193,299 others

yourinstagram the wind was a paid actor

view all 17,929 comments

pedri 😍😍😍

pedri eres la chica más hermosa que he visto en mi vida.

pedri i ought to complain to spotify for you not being named this week's hottest single

-> spotify complaint received 😉

-> user59 oh spotify's definitely on the pedri x y/n agenda

pedri do you happen to have a band-aid ? i just scrapped my knees falling for you

-> yourinstagram deserved fall down again

-> user80 HELPDHSHDHSHDH WHY IS SHE LIKE THIS

-> user44 poor pedri but this is kind of funny 😭

jennaortega my favourite girl (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)

mikkykiemeney 🫶🫶🫶

saraguendogan gorgeous !!!

user45 the way two of the most popular barça wags are in her comments.. joão really must've introduced her to everyone in barça by now 😭

joaofelix79 minha linda melhor amiga 🥰

-> yourinstagram te amo joao 🫶

user33 babe wake up pedrizz gonzález is in the comments of y/n's post again

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yourinstagram

📍 ibiza

liked by pedri, joaofelix79, ferrantorres and 15,364,748 others

yourinstagram i love pink <3

view all 20,273 comments

pedri and i love you 🥰😘

-> yourinstagram ew

pedri ¿dónde has estado toda mi vida? 😍

pedri if beauty was a crime, you would've been sentenced for life in prison

-> user11 omg this is actually so good y/n please accept his love 😞

emmamyers 🩷🩷🩷

ferrantorres ❤️

liked by yourinstagram

joaofelix79 my prettiest girl 🫶

-> yourinstagram joao best boy !!!

user34 pedri should just stop trying to win y/n's heart man she clearly has no interest in him he's just wasting his time..

user50 i want a friendship like y/n and joão's 🥹

user96 is something going on between y/n and ferran ?? 🤔

user23 wait i'm a new barça fan and i came from x after seeing a post about pedri commenting on this girl's post.. who is she exactly ?

-> user22 she's y/n l/n, an upcoming model and also the bff of joão félix ! ^^

-> user23 ooh she's so pretty i get why pedri wants her lol

user82 huh ?? wasn't y/n in new york like literally yesterday ? how is she already in ibiza 😭

-> user25 queen's working so hard fr 😞

user75 pedrito i know you'll get the girl of your dreams someday i'm rooting for you !!!

liked by pedri

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yourinstagram

📍 lisbon, portugal

liked by pedri, joaofelix79, frenkiedejong and 20,182,838 others

tagged mikkykiemeney, saraguendogan, annalewandowska, taia_belloli, joaofelix79

yourinstagram on a trip with my girls (there's an imposter among us)

view all 25,999 comments

pedri quisiera ser joyero para poder apreciar un diamante como tú todos los días 🤍

-> yourinstagram bro please stop before i block you 🧍‍♀️

-> user77 pedri i think you should listen to her y/n can be absolutely ruthless 😭

pedri ok but why did joão get invited and i didn't ?

-> yourinstagram bc you're not one of the girls ???

-> pedri and joão is ??

-> yourinstagram yeah !!! ☺️

-> joaofelix79 i was forced to tag along against my own will, hermano 😞

mikkykiemeney had so much fun with you, love ! 🫶

annalewandowska thanks for inviting me, angel ❤️

joaofelix79 who's the best tour guide & chauffeur ??

-> yourinstagram you are !! 🥰🥰 thanks for making this trip fun and memorable, amor 🫶

-> joaofelix79 yeah yeah i accept thanks only in cash and credit

saraguendogan 💋💋

taia_belloli mi novia 🥰

user23 AHHH Y/N WITH THE BARÇA WAGS

user81 OMG THOSE POOL PICTURES OF Y/N AND SARA ARE SO PRETTY

user43 wait does this mean y/n is a barça wag ?

-> user19 i don't think so but i also won't be surprised if she's dating one of the guys

-> user01 nah, i think she just got really close with the wags because of félix

user99 MOTHER IS MOTHERING !!!

user45 MY WIVES 💅

user55 can pedri please just give up on pursuing y/n.. she's CLEARLY not interested in you bro

-> pedri 🙉

-> user39 shut up man he clearly doesn't give a fuck about what people like you are saying

user26 no bc are we sure joão and y/n are not dating ?

-> user34 yep pretty sure

-> user84 they sure are sus for two best friends who call each other 'amor' and say 'ily' to e/o all the time

-> user07 i'm sure it's just in a platonic way, man

-> user02 what ? can't two people of the opposite gender say ily and still be only friends ? this is just a healthy friendship bro

user43 y/n please notice pedri and treat him properly challenge 😞🙏

user46 AHHH i hope joão showed them all the best places in lisbon ❤️🇵🇹

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yourinstagram

📍 paris, france

🎼 my love mine all mine : mitski

liked by joaofelix79, oliviarodrigo, gigihadid and 33,127,289 others

yourinstagram bts for the photoshoot of a new magazine cover for vogue ! oh, and i got some flowers today ;) 💐

view all 42,569 comments

joaofelix79 nice flowers

joaofelix79 who's that man though 👀

-> yourinstagram idk you tell me 🫣

jennaortega already omw to pre-order 1000 copies of the magazine

-> yourinstagram please i love you 😭🫶

gigihadid perfection 🫶

-> yourinstagram love u gigi

heidiklum 🤍🖤

konichan7 🥰

adrianalima xoxo 💋

_ferminlopez 🤭

-> user77 ariana what are you doing here

user34 some of the biggest names in the modelling industry are here in the comments... y/n really has come so far i'm so proud of you girl 🥹

user27 here for y/n's famous era !!!

user97 our prettiest princess !!! we love you y/n 💌

user36 SIS IS THAT A MAN I SEE BEHIND YOU 😧

user05 don't be shy y/n show us a picture of the man in the second slide

user72 the song... the picture... the flowers... HAVE WE LOST Y/N TO A MAN ???

user55 um guys where's pedri ?

-> user78 EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING

-> user40 WHERE'S OUR GOLDEN BOY AND HIS SHITTY PICK-UP LINES

user95 pedri's @ is not there in the likes...

user33 no cringey pick-up line comments from pedri and he's not in the likes either.. what's happening..

user67 i'm guessing that man must be her bf ??

user15 well ig at least we all know that the man with her is not pedri since he's nowhere to be found 🤷‍♀️

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yourinstagram

📍 barcelona, spain

liked by pedri, joaofelix79, louispartridge_ and 40,932,389 others

yourinstagram hi barcelona

view all 45,693 comments

joaofelix79 what are you doing here

-> yourinstagram came to visit you bestie 🥰🥰🥰 i missed you sooooo much

-> joaofelix79 what a liar 🙄

oliviarodrigo love u girlie

alejandrobalde 🤍

liked by yourinstagram

taia_belloli you are glowing, sis !!!

jennierubyjane pretty in white ♡

alexiaputellas 💓💘

user13 my sunshine !!! 💛☀️

user04 what's balde doing here 😧

user82 BALDE ??? HELLO ????

user75 pedri in the likes but still no comment...

user16 what is happening with y/n and the barça boys

user30 damn i kinda miss pedri's comments 😭

user27 has pedri finally stopped trying to rizz y/n up ??

-> user08 i hope so.. he doesn't deserve her she seems so annoying

-> user89 how exactly is she annoying ??

-> user08 she's always dismissing/ignoring his comments and being mean to him what a bitch

-> user89 i don't think she's actually being mean though.. and if he isn't bothered by the way she acts then why are you ?

-> user75 please stop calling y/n names and trying to make her a villain she's an absolute angel

liked by pedri, joaofelix79, jennaortega and others

user66 the way we see different barça players comment on her post everyday 🧍‍♀️ guess today's man of the day is balde

user05 THAT DRESS IS GORG SIS

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yourinstagram 10 minutes ago | pedri 2 minutes ago

seen by joaofelix79, pablogavi, frenkiedejong and 17,929,199 others

y/n's dms 🏷️

☆ joaofelix79 replied to your story !

husband ??? 😰😱

yourinstagram

yuh

☆ user56 replied to your story !

HUSBAND ???? QUEEN WHO ???

☆ user69 replied to your story !

please tell me that's just a beyonce reference and you don't actually have a husband.. 🥹

twitter 🫖

imessage 💬

mi esposa 💌

i think it's time

mi esposo ❤️‍🩹

wait really ? are you sure about this ?

mi esposa 💌

yeah 100% sure i'm ready

mi esposo ❤️‍🩹

alright then

mi esposa 💌

it's been a good run, hasn't it ?

mi esposo ❤️‍🩹

it sure has...

3 years ain't that bad

mi esposa 💌

frfr !!

we're a bit too good at this 🤭

mi esposo ❤️‍🩹

i second that

mi esposa 💌

i'll drop a head's up now

see you on the other side 🫡

mi esposo ❤️‍🩹

let's go give the world a shock, mi amor 🫶

twitter 🫖

instagram 🎥

yourinstagram

📍 tenerife, canary islands

liked by pedri, joaofelix79, jennaortega and 50,199,143 others

tagged pedri

yourinstagram i'm guessing this wasn't the type of news y'all were expecting, huh ? jokes on all of you bc pedrito and i have actually been together for three years now. we were just a bit too good at hiding our relationship 🤭 anyways happy three years together, mi amor, and also happy 6 months of our marriage ! te amare por siempre, my golden boy 🤍

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pedri my gorgeous girl

pedri te amo, mi vida 🫶

liked by yourinstagram

pedri te voy a denunciar a la policía por robarme el corazón

-> yourinstagram oh no ! i can't be behind bars now — i've got my whole life ahead of me ! 😰

joaofelix79 ahh finally !!! keeping your relationship a secret was probably the hardest thing i ever had to do in my entire life

-> yourinstagram you're the absolute best joão thank you 🫶

-> joaofelix79 as i've said before, i accept thanks in only cash and credit

-> yourinstagram sending you some money rn

-> joaofelix79 😁😁😁

jennaortega my favourite couple !!!

-> yourinstagram my maid of honour 🥹🫶

pablogavi ❤️

gigihadid still in awe over this look of yours you really are the prettiest bride

mikkykiemeney 😍😍😍

annalewandowska my babies 🥹🥹

fcbarcelona the best couple 🫶

ferrantorres ❤‍🔥

user81 .... girl what

user90 WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUVK

user12 three years... THREE YEARS ?????

user04 not only have you been together for three years but URE FRICKING MARRIED ????

user24 HOW TF DID NO ONE KNOW ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP

user46 HUHHHHHHHHHHH 😧😧😧😧😧😧

user57 we are all fvcking clowns

user68 another day of blaugrana being an entire circus

user38 THREE YEARS ???? but félix joined barça only this year.. huh how did you guys meet i'm confused

-> yourinstagram pedri and i have actually known each other for a long time now 😭 most of you may just know me as joão's bff but only some people know that i'm friends with pedri's brother hehe so we got to know each other through fernando :)

user72 HOW DID YOU GUYS HID YOUR RELATIONSHIP FROM US FOR THREE HECKING YEARS ? HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE ?????

user01 HOW DID THE MEDIA AND PAPARAZZI NOT CATCH YOU WHAT

user07 goodness idek how to react to this

user29 wait so you were just pretending to hate pedri in your previous posts... but why ?

-> yourinstagram oh it was just a bet we made when joão joined barça this year. most of you knew me only when joão joined barça and pedri and i had already been working on our marriage plans by then. we've hid the facts about our relationship for three years now but marriage is a huge thing and there was no way we could hide our wedding for years so we just wanted to see how long it would take for the paparazzi to catch up on the news lol. to help hide our marriage a little longer, we just pulled an unrequited love act on my instagram posts and i pretended to ignore him irl too for fun 🤭

-> user57 this is absolutely insane... you guys are geniuses

-> user80 OKAY BUT WHO WON THE BET THOUGH ???

-> yourinstagram technically no one since we both thought the news wouldn't get out until next year but we're spending our honeymoon in barcelona rn and we just got a bit too bold in public and sadly got caught 😞

yourinstagram ok correction you guys we never really hid our rs tbh i guess you guys just never knew me or like paid much attention to things so it just got really easy to date him without having to deal with the media 🤷‍♀️

-> user03 now that i think about it... i feel like you've appeared in a few of the gonzález family photos, y/n 🤔

-> yourinstagram yes i have ! but if i remember correctly, most people just thought i was fernando's gf or sumn 😭

-> user99 omg we were so fucking blind 🧍‍♀️

-> user67 well we just never expected pedri to have enough rizz to pull a beauty queen like you ig

-> pedri HEY

-> yourinstagram LMAO FOULLLLLL

user44 i love how y/n just spilled the whole tea to us 🥹 she's so iconic

user12 GOD I LOVE Y/N SO MUCH FOR THIS LITTLE STORYTIME UNDER THE COMMENTS

user06 THEY'RE SO FUCKING ADORABLE I LOVE YNPEDRI

user55 SUCH A BEAUTIFUL WEDDING DRESS 🤍

user21 what is with joão and money though LMAO

-> joaofelix79 if barça doesn't have enough money to buy me, then i'll provide them the money instead

-> user02 I'M IN TEARS THIS IS SO ICONIC OF YOU JOÃO

-> user74 LMFAO WHAT A LEGEND

user23 PEDRI IN THAT FOURTH SLIDE DAYUMMMM

user16 i hate you both so much for lying to us for so long but also congratulations on getting married !!! 🥹

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pedri

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pedri feliz aniversario, mi vida 🤍

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♡ translations of pedri's pick-up lines !

“eres la chica más hermosa que he visto en mi vida.”

: you are the most beautiful girl i have ever seen in my life.

“¿dónde has estado toda mi vida?”

: where have you been all my life ?

“quisiera ser joyero para poder apreciar un diamante como tú todos los días.”

: i would like to be a jeweler so i can appreciate a diamond like you every day.

“te voy a denunciar a la policía por robarme el corazón.”

: i will report you to the police for stealing my heart.

© LILIRARI, 2023 ★

[waffledforbreakfast]

Sending Love Letters - [MUTI! BLLK X F!READER]

(SEPARATE) pt2

Staring: ness, otoya, karasu, Reo

pt1: rin, sae, shidou, niko, kaiser

[ BLLK Scenario Masterlist ]

TW: heavy ooc, bad grammar, bad spelling, bad formatting, cringe, scuff, etc.

>Ness

[btw i imagine kaiser and ness as good friends (like they were pre-bllk) ]

Ness sat with Kaiser and his family at the table, sorting through Kaiser’s many love letters

“Wow Michael, this must be a new record” Kaiser’s mother laughed “Who knew so many people had bad taste?”

Kaiser glared at his mother “Least we know I didn’t get my pretty genetics from you.”

Ness held in a laugh as he sifted through the pile of love letters. Kaiser’s birthday was over the weekend, and today being Friday, all the fan-girls sent him mail.

“This one girl had sent me like 20…” Kaiser picked up a fat stack, all with the same name signed 

“That’s dedication…” Ness stared in awe at the stack.

But he eventually snapped out of it and continued looking through the pile

“Oh hey, this one’s for you.” Kaiser pulled out a slightly crumpled envelope (from him just shoving it into his bag) “At least it has your name on it… did you send it?” he was hesitant to believe that someone liked Ness

“No I don't think so…” Ness took the letter and inspected it carefully, it was in fact his name written on it. “Lemme read it real quick…” his small smile indicating that he was actually very excited to have a letter sent to him

Kaiser gave him a side-eye before going back to counting his own, silently jealous that someone liked Ness and not him

Ness, on the other hand, was having the time of his life. “AHHHHHHHHH WHAT IF [Y/N] SENT IT TO ME!! AHDOIFHABWIEUFBI”

He was smiling like crazy, he knew well that the handwriting, signature, and writing style was yours, he was all to familiar with it

For good measure, he pulled out a piece of your English homework and compared the two (how he got your homework? Don’t ask)

It was definitely yours, he was sure. You did have 2 classes with kaiser that day (don’t ask about that either), and you walked past them 6 times in the hallway.

At this point Ness was quietly squealing, he was so excited that you liked him back!

Kaiser silently laughed at this, not quite understanding why Ness was so happy, but also knowing full well that he may or may not be slightly(??) obsessed with you, so he didn’t bother

Ness was then day-dreaming for the next several minutes, and would even blank out occasionally for the rest of the day

“For f#ck’s sake Ness, just write back to her already…” Kaiser was getting annoyed at the heart pupils in his eyes “I swear if you’re gonna be like this on my birthday-”

“OK OK SORRY!!” Ness apologize before slipping the letter away “I’ll do later” he promised himself that he’d make it perfect, just for you :3

>Otoya

“No thank you, I’m alright” Otoya gently pushed the girl off his chest, the girl looked up at him with confusion 

Hiori and Karasu’s jaws dropped while Yukimiya just laughed, “See, told you. Pay up”

The two other boys grumbled as they pulled out a few coins “There’s no way he actually did that, wasn’t he making out with that girl just a few weeks ago?” Hiori questioned, it wasn’t like Otoya to reject a girl, if anything, he was usually the one making the first move. Something must be going on.

“I told you” Yukimiya collected the few coins “I swear there’s some other girl he likes, why else would he stop talking to the others?”

“Rejecting girls for another girl?” Karasu also found this really suspicious “Unlikely. That would imply that he actually isn’t a total ass. Which we know isn’t true.”

Otoya rolled his eyes “Who do you think I am? Also- if you’re gonna discuss your little ‘bets’, maybe don’t do it right in front of my locker.” he laughed, not answering their questions

Hiori and Karasu frowned, “cmon, tell ussss!!” Yukimiya nodded in agreement “I must say, I'm curious too. Who’s the lucky or… unlucky girl?”

Otoya scoffed “No one. I don’t like anyone.” he laughed “Do you really think I’d get attached to someone so easily? Only a fool would do that.”

As he said that, he opened his locker to grab his jacket, when an envelope fell out. It spun in the air before landing on the floor, face down with the signature showing.

“ ‘[Y/N]’, heart.” Karasu read, “Is that the girl?”

Otoya swiped the envelope up quickly, “You saw nothing.” he shoved it in his bag, pretending nothing happened

“[Y/N]? Do you like her!?!”

“Does she like you!?”

“Why is it signed with a heart!?”

“Is it a love letter!?”

The three boys bombarded Otoya with questions, to which he didn’t answer. “I dunno what you guys are talking about.” He laughed with a smile, but his heart was beating so fast. He was asking himself the same questions, “Does she like me? Do I like her? Is it a love letter? Why is it signed with a heart???”

“Wait [Y/N]? She’s in my chem class, I have a project with her.” Karasu remembered working on it with you

“Lucky bastard…” Otoya whispercursed with a smile under his breath, Hiori and Yuki gave him a side-eye, not knowing what he said

“Wait, doesn't she have a boyfriend-???” Karasu looked at him

“Does she?” Otoya internally panicked, there’s no way you were already taken by someone else. “That’s fine, I can work with that.” he shrugged it off

“Why would she send him a letter then?” Hiori questioned

Karasu laughed, “That was a trap, I just wanted to see if it really was her.” he gave a prideful huff “She is in my class though- I’ll ask her tomorrow.”

Otoya froze in playful betrayal, “I don’t like her. I swear”

Yuikimiya rolled his eyes “Right right.”

Otoya laughed before grabbing his jacket and bag “Whatever. I’m gonna go home now, cya tmr.”

“Make sure to read it!”

“Remember to write back!!”

“Bye lover-boy!!”

The three boys teased him about the newfound crush. Otoya only scoffed and smiled, before walking home, reading the letter on the way. 

He looked around him to make sure no one was watching, before smiling like an idiot at the confession. “Hm. Knew she’d like me.” He felt a surge of pride, “Now i’m guaranteed to win her over.” He tucked the letter away, already thinking about what to write back.

>Karasu

[Adding on from First/Second Encounters, SchoolAU!w/Otoya, Hiori, and Yukimyia]

You and Karasu had been passing each other notes for quite a while now, sometimes in class, or just in the hallway, whenever, really.

The two of you even went out a few times, as friends(??) of course. Eventually making your own codes together as a fun pass-time

Karasu was just eating lunch with Otoya, Hirori, and Yukimiya when you stopped by and slid him an envelope before walking off.

“oOooo, your girlfriend just gave you something~~” Otoya teased, knowing well that he liked you

Karasu just laughed, “She’s not my girlfriend.” He picked the letter up and looked at it carefully

“Not yet.” Hiori added, “You’ve been trying to confess for weeks now, but you always chicken out.”

“Yea, it’s getting kinda depressing.” Yukimiya nodded

Karasu just rolled his eyes before going back to the letter written in code. He took a bit to decipher it, reading it word for word

“What does it say?? I literally can’t read that-” Otoya squinted at the paper

“I think that’s the point…” Hiori commented, before looking back at Karasu “Looks like we lost him…”

Karasu just sat there, smiling to himself, not hearing a single word the other’s said. He was much too caught up in the fact that you had basically confessed, he was worried he mis-read it. He looked over the words again, before tucking the letter away, and covered his stupid smile with his hand, but his whole face was red.

“The words may be hard to read, but his face sure isn’t” Yukimiya laughed at Karasu’s expression “I’m guessing she confessed?”

“What? No?” Karasu tried to play it off, but he really couldn’t stop smiling.

“Awwwww, such cute love birds.” Hiori teased, “When will your relationships be this innocent, Otoya?”

The fboy only shrugged

“Back to Karasu,” Yukimiya turned to him “What are you gonna write back?”

“Don’t worry about it.” Karasu stuffed a spoonful of crappy-cafeteria food in his mouth, still somehow smiling, “You’ll see though. If I’m lucky, the next time you guys meet her, I’ll get to introduce her as my girlfriend”

>Reo

“Reo, can we please take a break” Nagi whined

“Alright, we’re done anyway.” Reo took a sip of his water, finishing up their training. 

The two of them packed up, bagging their things before a small envelope fell out of Reo’s duffle.

“Hey Reo, what’s that?” Nagi pointed at the slip of paper that had fallen in a small puddle, the corner now wet

Reo looked down on it before picking it up and shaking it lightly to get the water off “Looks like another love letter.” He tossed it in a bin with a shrug 

“What if [Y/N] sent it?” Nagi said, knowing 

Reo froze for a few seconds, “What if [Y/N] sent it-” He did a 180° and shifted through the trash for the letter

He felt slightly embarrassed to be digging through garbage, but whatever. He picked the letter back up and inspected it carefully, what if you really did send it?

“Wow, what a sight… the richest boy in school is digging his hands in the trash for some letter…” Nagi mentally judged him, but shrugged it off, used to Reo’s desperation by now

Reo carefully slipped the envelope in his pocket, and turned to leave. He used to read all the love letters he got, he’d be lying if he said they didn’t boost his ego. But ever since he started crushing on you, he couldn’t bring himself to, always imagining it was you who wrote to him (until Nagi told him he looks kinda desperate so he stopped reading them all together). But surely reading this one couldn’t hurt, right?

Once he got home, he went to his room immediately. His caretakers found this a bit strange, but Reo was acting weird ever since he mentioned you, so they didn’t bat an eye

He threw his bags down and put the envelope on his desk, tilting his light to face it. It was like he was dissecting an animal.

He sat down, and opened it carefully, making sure not to touch the still wet corner. He took a few seconds to admire the kuromi theme before reading the letter.

Reo tried to keep a straight face while reading it, but his heart was beating 100x faster than before. He had to take a moment to process after he read it.

There wasn’t even a way to be sure you were the one who sent it, what if he was freaking out over nothing? He looked again at the name signed, but it was muddled out from the water. Reo cursed himself for letting it drop into the puddle.

All he could see was the first letter, and it was in fact yours. But Reo knew better than to get ahead of himself, what if sent back a letter and it wasn’t you!?

He sprung out of his chair quickly and went to go look for his parents.

“Mom! Do we have any restoration technicians?” Reo barged into the room, unaware they were in the middle of a small meeting, he gave a quick apologetic bow to the guests in the room

“Reo honey, is it urgent?” Ms. Mikage asked politely, gesturing at the clients.

“Yes. Very.” Reo nodded, 100% serious.

His mother took a moment to think before replying “There should be one in the services department, though I'm not sure if he’s what you're looking for. Ask for Mr. Deez when you get there.”

Reo bowed, “Thank you, mother.” and with that, he ran out the room and towards the Mikage office.

Usually, he’d book a chauffeur, but he didn’t have time for that, he had to get there now. 

He pushed the glass doors open and stumbled to the receptionist, “I’d like to talk to Mr. Deez from the services department-” Reo took a moment to catch his breath

“I- yessir, right away.” The receptionist quickly dialled the man up and poured Reo a glass of water.

Once the recoverist arrived, he sat down with Reo and examined the letter. “Hm, I’m not sure I can do much for you, but I might know a man who can.” he pulled out his phone and started typing, “What did you say this was? A love letter?”

“Don’t worry about that” Reo said quickly “so did you find someone who can help?”

 “Yes, though he’s a bit far.” He showed Reo the location, “This is his shop, he specializes in these things, often working with detective agencies. You can call him Mr. Nuts” 

Reo took a picture of the map and stood up, “Thank you, Mr. Deez.” Before he could blink, Reo was already running out the door. 

Reo checked the map as he ran, it’d be a 27 minute drive, there’s no way he could run faster. He stopped in his tracks before calling his chauffeur.

Once the car got there, Reo hopped in, coffee in hand. “Take me here.” he showed the man the location, and they were off.

Reo tapped his finger as they drove, getting anxious. What if they didn’t make it before he closed? What if they couldn’t help him? What if he finds out that you weren’t the one who sent it? What if-

“Mr. Mikage, we’re here.” the chauffeur parked and was about to open the door for Reo before he hopped out himself

“Thank you, wait here for me.” it was too late to turn back now, he’d already put a good few hours into this

He walked through the doors and looked around, it was a small shop, tools lying everywhere. “Hello? May I talk to Mr. Nuts?”

“Oh? A new customer? Welcome! I am Mr. Nuts, how may I help you?” an older looking man sat at a rusted table 

Reo explained the situation and handed him the letter, asking for his help.

“I see I see, let’s take a look” The man took the letter and put it under a special light

“Please handle it with care.” Reo couldn’t help but worry

The man pulled out a few tools, some napkins to dry it, and put it under a metal machine. “Here, do you see that?” He pointed at a small screen attached “There’s what you're looking for.”

On the screen showed a filtered picture of the letter, and there was your name signed. 

Reo’s eyes widened, it really was you who sent it to him! His entire face lit up, he couldn’t help but blush a little, the long chase had been worth it.

“Thank you, sir.” he took the letter back and held it tightly “For your trouble.” Reo threw a few bills down before exiting the store

The ride home felt much shorter than the ride there, but Reo couldn’t complain. He plopped down on his bed, letter still in hand. His heart was beating like never before, face still flushed.

Suddenly, a notification from his phone snapped him out,

Reo grinned, “Great idea, Nagi.”

[canonicallyobserving911]

STOP TRYING TO ERASE EDDIE DIAZ!

This is a CANON FACT!

📣📣📣 Eddie is Chris' FATHER!

He's his biological father.

I added most of the latter part of this post to a reblog of a post I did last year about Eddie being an awesome dad but I decided to do a separate post because it's getting real interesting out here in these 911blr tags especially since BT shippers and former Buddie shippers keep trying to ERASE EDDIE DIAZ so Buck and T*mmy can raise Chris.

Like what the actual F%ck?

I've been on a blocking and tag filtering spree for more than two weeks so anyone posting BS like this and any negativity about Buddie have been BLOCKED!

Here's my original post that I added to the tags.

-------

Ok... I saw several posts on main that were VERY DiStuRbiNg! Therefore, I'm reblogging this just in case there are some new people who recently joined 911blr and they're unaware of this especially since Chris has only been in one episode this season (7x1)!

If you're new here... Hello, hi and welcome.

Now on to the business at hand!

BE CLEAR!

EDDIE DIAZ IS CHRISTOPHER'S FATHER!

Buck is ONLY HIS LEGAL GUARDIAN and that's in the event that Eddie's dies so don't get it twisted.

There's NO way Buck and T*mmy will be raising Chris together like Chris is their son.

No one can erase Eddie!

Buck WILL NOT be raising Chris with T*mmy🤬😡.

T*mmy is A PLOT DEVICE and HE IS NOT part of The BUCKLEY-DIAZ FAMILY.

Eddie added Buck to his will not Buck +1. Therefore Buck will only be raising Chris with EDDIE DIAZ, Chris' biological father. They've already built a family and it's been 6 years. Eddie told Buck, "There's nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you".

He didn't say that to T*mmy! Hell, T*mmy wasn't even around back then. He's only been in like 3 episodes and he'll be gone soon!

Stop trying to ERASE EDDIE BY UNALIVING HIM so Buck can raise Chris with T*mmy.

It's ludicrous and asinine and down right ridiculous!

Seriously!

[our-neighbours-cat-is-a-menace]

OBEY ME

Scenario :Mc eating a banana inappropriately

warning:HIGHLY SUGGESTIVE ‼️

Lucifer

All he want is some peaceful environment so that he can finish the schools paperworks that was assigned to him

But no

Your dumb ass decided to tease your ever so prideful boyfriend

Grabbing a banana from the fridge and having the audacity to sit infront of a working lucifer in his office

You wasted no time, peeling and licking that banana as if that's the most delicious thing you've tasted, occasionally letting out some not so appropriate noises

"What do you think your doing?" lucifer sternly asked, eyes fully meeting yours

"mmhhp mmhhhpp"

"take that out and answer me" he said, a tick mark appearing on his forehead

You took the banana out making a popping noise in the end and licking your lips oh so seductively

"what? I was just eating" you said feigning innocence

"no one ever eats bananas like that" he said as a matter of fact

"well, i do. Now will you excuse me, i have more eating to do"

You decided to end it there since it was clear to you that what you did got him all hot and bothered seeing how his not returning his attention to the papers on his desk

"ok fine, stop looking at me like that. I'm leaving and i promise, i won't bother you again" you stated while getting up and acting to leave

"hold it" he immediately spoke and you oh so slowly turned around, desperate to hide an incoming grin

"what" you innocently asked

"that's the wrong way to my bed" he firmly said, quickly coming to you and slowly sliding his sly hands on your waist and immediately capturing your lips for a deep heated kiss

The kiss lasted for a minute and by the moment you came back to your senses, you already found yourself on the bed  with your demon hovering above you ready to take you to heaven

Expect yourself to eat something else.

Mammon

"what's wrong mams" you innocently said

"nothing" he said despite being completely beet red

"then why are you so red?" belphie innocently asked, touching mammon's ears

mammon flinched awkwardly from beels innocent touch

"yeah mammon, why are you so red" asmo teasingly added

"is there a specific reason why you can't look at MC in the eyes and if you do look at her, you turn into an overripe tomato" satan pointed out with a glint of teasing

"good job pointing that out genius" belphie said leced with sarcasm

"you guys, cut it out" You interjected turning the attention to the poor tomato in front of you

Mammon took another short glance at you and ended up blushing more. he bolted out of the room and you were quick to chase after him

You slowly pried for the reason why he was acting like that and when he stated he just can't get the image of you mindlessly eating a banana inappropriately out of his mind

When you heard this, it was your turn to become a tomato

You frantically explained your side yet the more you explain, the more you two become a blushing mess

both of you guys decided to just bury the whole issue

yet you guys still can't help but turn red when remembering the embarrassment of this day

Leviathan

he's gaming as usual yet he can't seem to concentrate with how the person sitting next to him is being a menace

"what's wrong levi, you're dying" you commented while solely focusing your attention to the game screen since, he was so out of the game

he tried to focus on the game and not to you eating that banana seductively

damn, why do you have to lick it like that

he was far from being focused since his eyes always dart to your lips that's attached to that stupid banana

And it's not helping how tight his pants are starting to feel.

"levi, you died for the 3rd time, at this rate you're definitely gonna lose" you turned your neck to face his direction and was left speechless to

see a very much obvious needy avatar of envy

who's painfully clutching his d*ck with teary eyes

who's hands are now holding your hand instead of the mouse

who's lips are quivering  to say something

"what's wrong?" you asked frantically, cupping his face with your free hand

"MC, it hurts" he said painfully with little tears, slowly guiding your hands to his thing

you came to realize why and how the situation came to this certain point

this made you hella flustered cause the scene in front of you is downright tempting

giving in, you did what you were doing to the banana earlier to a certain moaning avatar of envy

rawrrrrrrrr

Satan

" by any chance, have you forgotten how to eat a banana Mc?" he asked ever so seriously"

not really, I'm just eating normally" you replied

" no one licks, kiss or nibble on a banana like that, it's just bite, chew and swallow. Now what's your excuse" he stated, completely dominating your conversation

not liking how he was winning, you harshly bit a huge chunk of banana, chewed and swallowed

he nervously flinched when you did that, somehow finding his hand covering his precious d*ck

"i guess next time if i do happen to eat something else, I'll just bite, chew and swallow" you smiled menacingly

"that's" satan tried to reason out yet you cut him off

"no, no, i completely understand, i won't lick, kiss or nibble. I have to firmly bite and chew it off" you said making a slash action on your neck

"do you really have to win every argument" he stated, sighing admitting his defeat

"hehe of course, me winning is a must it's not negotiable" you had the audacity to show him such a stupid grin

God, if only he didn't love you

Asmodeus

Asmo

are you sure you wanna do this

like hundred percent sure

cause the moment you start doing this

you'll be in his bed, under him and not even a second later has become a moaning mess

Beelzebub

yeah no

you'll do this stupid shit

and he'll just stare at you and say

"that's not the right way to eat a banana MC"

and he'll just proceed to show you how to eat one

you'll just end up being the one embarrassed for your stupid attempt to seduce him

Belphegor

"ehem" belphie faked coughed, signaling you to stop the dumb shit you're doing in front of him

yet you chose to continue and pretend you didn't hear anything

"ok stop that" he said, eyes locked on yours

"stop what?"

"that!"

"what's" that"" you said completely taunting him

"one, that's nasty. two, that's gross. and three it's inappropriate. So stop it" he said firmly

"one, it's none of your business how i eat. two, no one asked you to watch and three, you had the audacity to tell me that when you're hard as a rock" you retorted slyly looking on the thing that's standing proudly between his legs

he groaned after hearing your words

" oh and also, you better take care of that yourself cause technically i would do it for you buuuuut, one it's nasty, two it's gross and three it's inappropriate" you sarcastically said leaving the room with a stupid grin.

"DAMN IT MC, GET BACK HERE" he shouted

"AND WHAT? DIE AGAIN? NO THANK YOU" you shouted back, running for your life

A/N: wews i have been dead for a while and whose fault is it? mine. Who said medical school was fun.

Masterlist🌻

[ryo-kaikura]

Yandere male crown prince x top male knight reader

Tw: yandere, abuse of power, reincarnation

Crown prince name: akaru

Don't expect much since both of the are sorta trash

"The fiance I want is my knight"

Later that night

You drag the prince back to his bedroom and help him change his outfit since all the maids and Butlers are cleaning up in the ballroom

"What the f*ck are you doing, u know I already have a fiancee and I don't f*cking love you"

"You will in due time but as your prince you can't say no to me if you don't want your fiAnCeE to rot on the city square"

You were speechless, he never used his authority on you even when you were first appointed to him "fine, give me a year to finalize all of this" "Ok, but you will stay in the palace and sleep with me every day" "Every month" "Every two days" "Every 3 weeks" "Ugh fine, every week" With a heavy heart you accepted it because you know he won't go any higher "Very well I shall pack my stuff and move in to the servant quarters"

He looked shocked you even suggested that "No! you will stay in my room and sleep beside me every day and once a week f*ck me till dawn" How does he know all this even you don't even know "Very well, I shall move in with you" "My prince" Huh? "That's what you will call me starting today" "Why" "Because I said so silly now go and pack you stuff I want you back here in three hours"

With a nod I left, truthfully I was reincarnated the day before being appointed as the prince personal guard, this world is in a novel called "my shining lover" Which is why the crown prince name can mean bright, tho this and that is never bright, my character was the cold but loyal knight, the one who kidnapped the FL, the one who murdered under his orders but in the end as a scapegoat to look heavenly in the FL's eyes the crown prince killed him.

That's why I try to be nice and not cold to other people and even the prince, but I think that's why he became obsessed with me. But I will wait for the FL to come so he's gonna be obsessed with her not me and she will show up in 6 months

A few days later

"My love, I think tonight is the night we f*ck" He remember this but not where is books and paper are "Very well my prince"

That night

"My love~, I'm ready for you 8 inch, uncut, slightly to left, 6 inch girth dick" HOW THE F*CK DOES HE KNOW THIS. "My love~, come one don't be so surprised your soul mate knows this"

Ok...

A few minutes later (I don't know how to start this so bear with me)

"OoOh hi youroO dick issumuch" "More more more Aahhh" F*cking hell His keeps me to fully get out and it's like a vice, I can't get enough it sooo f*cking good I can fuck this till tomorrow

Tomorrow

F*cking hell he's still tight after filling him up till he looks pregnant but good does he look eternal. With the nth time I come and him barely awake I bring him to the bathroom and clean all the cum from inside him and he still tries to keep them all in just like I ask him to last night but o well

A few month later

Crown prince POV

Where is my love, it's been a week and I want to fuck tonight.

.

.

.

.

.

WHO IS THE B*TCH HE'S CARRYING HE WON'T EVEN CARRY ME LIKE THAT

Normal POV

You brought back the FL that was injured at the woods where you hunt for food as the prince wanted boar tonight.

After putting the FL in the Royal doctor's office

You bring the prince back to the bedroom

"Who the f*ck is that" "It's a she not that and her name is Saku" "Do i give a fuck who her name is I want to know why you hold her soo gently" "My prince I think you should stop that" You grab roughly at the Blackish purple magic in the air "Oouhh" He is on his knees now cumming and pissing at the same time "ho-how do you now" he said while trying to look seductive and it's working "my mother is a witch, the red witch, and I know you 'mother' was the Royal sorcerer"

"I also know you won't like Saku at all so I decided that we will get married in a month and I already gave my annulment letter(you put in a Temporary annulment at first) to my fiancee. Now get on the bed and accept your punishment for thinking you could get away with using magic to harm people"

With that the crown prince tried to remove his clothing as fast as possible and ripping almost all his clothing but he didn't care all he cared about is the marriage and the punishment. You thought of something bad enough he'll be satisfied for the whole month

"you are taking too long slut" "I-I'm sorry I won't ask for a safe word" "Use the old safe word, got it?" "hmm~, yesh" (I know this is a bit cringe but I did this a few weeks days ago so not really the same)

In the end I decide so spank him with a broom full of splinters he forced a maid to use such a beautiful red color. The rest was just edging till he came so hard he passed out but oh well

200 years later

You can't believe in the end you had 50 children but that doesn't matter when you have a beautiful wife and a strong kingdom but your time has come

You wonder what will happen when you treated him differently

With that you draw your last breath and closed your eyes

You awoke in the past the same as before but how will you treat him?

[alannybunnue]

Ok, Joking Around: Modern!Reader stuck with the Yan!Targaryens Part 2

So, my computer is still in repair (Yes, i have been crying a lot because of it), so i will write about the modern!reader. Because that always fun and not expected to be good

Tags: @rosaryos

〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓

You were living in chaos, and you were down for it.

Not too long after you showed up inside of your favorite show atm, you were taken and...given the title of Princess, wait what???

Ok, now you are the second daughter of Viserys(Or first? You are older than Rhaenyra) and Aemma Targaryen. You were just happy that Aemma was still alive 😃...then you realized that her death was still coming 😨😭

You decided, that in this moment, you would change the story, you would not let Viserys make that choice, then she would have more chances of surviving right?

You spend time with your new father a lot, in which makes your new uncle (that you kinda want to...y'know 😗) jealous as f*ck

And another person who is bothered by it is your new sister, Rhaenyra, who is adamant of learning more about you and weird language that is totally not lady like.

Speaking of your "language", after you calling the men "Dilfs" it became a honorable title, and you had to spend 2 hours trying to come up with an excuse of why Daemon could not get the title like his brother at first(Daemon, you haven't spread the blood of the dragon yet, wait your turn, accept that Viserys is the Dilf of the Seven Kingdoms-).

Funny thing, after you said that this title only served for powerful men who already fathered a child, you noticed that your supposed uncle started to act more...not family friendly with you.

In fact, one time, he tried to convince you to ride on Caraxes with him (You knew that he was going to kidnap you) but thank the Gods that Otto appeared and took you away.

Speaking of the Hightowers now...Otto didn't like you at first, in fact, your behavior bothered him and his daughter quite a lot, even when they didn't understand it. But after warming up to you, they made it their mission to change that. (THEY FAILED)

As for the Velaryons, well, now Corlys is the "Dilf of the Seas" and Rhaenys is the "Queen Milf" (although you don't say that publicly by her request) and both adore you. And yes, you told Laena and Laenor the meaning behind your language, they are now adapting to it, you are bringing them to the dark side.

Last but not least, Aemma, the Milf of the Seven Kingdoms, you don't want to grow attached to her and then fail to save her, so you keep you distance and makes her sad 😔

Now to the actual story.

You spend a lot of time with Rhaenyra, excited for the day she becomes the Black Queen, but also you dragged around with Alicent because she misses you.

On the day that Daemon appears, he gives both you and Rhaenyra a Valyrian steel jewelry, in which, confuses you, you are not Valyrian...wait, did he caressed your skin two seconds ago?

Anyway, you stay around around watching the scenes happen all in 4d and in real time, while knowing all the spoilers that are soon to come.

Then the tournament happens, and while you were watching, you finally found your favorite future incel with anger issues, Sir Criston Cole.

Also in that scene, instead of asking for Alicent's favor, Daemon asks for your favor, and knowing that he will lose anyway, you gave it to him, because you are a simp 😊

And then it hit you, Viserys is no longer there...YOU RAN AWAY INSTANTLY.

You almost barge into the room, but the guards stopped you, so the last resource you had, SCREAM AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS UNTIL YOUR THROAT ACHE.

But it was too late, and Aemma's scream could be heard, you cried yourself to sleep 😣

You where by Rhaenyra's side when Syrax burned her mother and baby brother, actually, you stayed with her even afterwards.

Until it clicked again, ALICENT-

Again, you ran to Viserys' chambers to make him company- and Alicent was already there.

You are failing in this shit hard, my champion.

And you know that things are only gonna get worse.

Cuz the next day, Daemon was exiled(Not before he tried to take you with him tho-)

〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓〓

A/N: And...basically this was me covering up the first episode, i know some nicknames are stupid, but still, there are too many Milfs and Dilfs in this series. I hope you enjoyed.

[dcmeme]

Batfam Covid series part 1

I figured out how to turn off autocorrect so it types ‘Selina’ and not ‘Selena’ woohoo! Progress! Multiple parts, all longer than usual.

Damian: Why is it everyone has to be within the same household?

Dick: Because it’s quarantine. Meaning you isolate with people you’ve been in contact with already that could have the disease.

Jason: I mean, I’ve gotta agree, this seems a bit blown out of proportion. The symptoms aren’t reading.

Tim: I think it’s more of the spread that’s of concern and those with preexisting health conditions being affected more than anything else-

Bruce: *throws tiny robots on the ground that latches to everyone’s ankles* There.

Jason: HEY! You said I wouldn’t be under house arrest again if I didn’t blow shit up (on purpose) or cause a full body cast for at least 3 weeks!

Bruce: This isn’t house arrest, this is insurance that none of you try to leave and put others at risk of infection.

Damian: That is absurd!

Dick: I gotta say, this feels a little extreme, Bruce.

Tim: Yeah, no. *takes it off*

Jason: How the f*ck?!

Tim: I’m gonna go stay at my boyfriend’s.

Bruce: The last thing you are doing is leaving this house, Tim. Like you said- it’s a major concern for those of preexisting health conditions.

Selina: I helped Alfred switch your and Damian’s old bedrooms so you are a bit more isolated-

Damian: Excuse me?! I don’t want to sleep near Helena’s room. She continues to make sounds.

Bruce: You don’t have a choice. In fact, none of you do. Not until everyone is tested- including anyone you’ve been around the last 12 days.

Dick: So no Kori?

Bruce: Has she been tested?

Dick: I mean she’s been on another planet with Mari for, like, 6 months soooo

Bruce: they’re fine to stay.

Damian: Can John come over?

Bruce: I don’t even let him over when there isn’t a pandemic.

Jason: Can’t I just be under house arrest at a safe house? I don’t care to self isolate- just let me grab a few books and I’m good for dayyys.

Bruce: Absolutely not.

Tim: Ok than let Bernard come over?

Bruce: No.

Tim: But what if he tests.

Bruce: I don’t like that boy being in my house.

Tim: Oh come on. He only broke,like, two or three things in the cave.

Jason: Didn’t that somehow include the giant penny?

Damian: and the window to the Batmobile.

Dick: *sighs* The chair to the batcomputer has squeaked ever since he left that night.

Bruce: My cape.

Alfred: He was rather harsh on the grappling hooks as well, Master Drake-

Tim: I said I loved a man, not a smart one-

Bruce: No Bernard.

Tim: oh come on! Dick gets to bring Kori!

Dick: and my kid.

Tim: Oh come on you barely see her but three times a year.

Dick: I’ve known her seven months and she’s been gone six for some Tamaranian ritual or something humans can’t be at!

Selina: Will all of you stop shouting. If my baby wakes up, I will find a way to make all of you pay.

Bruce: The only person with a second option on where they’re staying is Damian-

Jason: Bull shit!-

Bruce: Talia has asked he go back to the league’s temple since COVID hasn’t likely breeched them yet.

Damian: Can I bring my children?

Bruce: Only the dog.

Damian: than no.

Bruce: you’ll have to take that up with your mother.

Damian: I’ll make this much clear- I would sacrifice each of you individually for the sake of my children-

Tim: you mean your pets?

Damian: they are family in this house, Drake. I can’t say the same for you.

Tim: You really don’t expect me to live next to this brat for literal months, right? He’ll kill me by the end of the week! I’m much safer at my place.

Bruce: As of right now this is all of our place. Stop bickering and get used to the idea of being under the same roof for a while.

Cassandra: It could be fun! We can even have a family dinner after we’re all tested.

Damian: oh joy. Sharing food with the nuisance Drake and the pig that is Todd. Fantastic.

Jason: Don’t you have a mommy to call?

Damian: Don’t you have a casket to sleep in!

Jason: Oh f*ck you!

Bruce: now boys-

Tim: Is this seriously how you expect me to live?!

Cassandra: we can make breakfast for dinner and by then maybe the weather will be nice enough to open windows and set up candles-

Jason: you think you have it bad?! I’m surrounded by the same people who-

Damian: I better not have to sit at that dinner by Drake, Cain, or so help me god-

Bruce: enough!

Tim: For my own safety please god do not do that cass-

Jason: I don’t see why you’re complaining when I’m the one who has to-

Bruce: *louder* enough

Tim: I have a right to feel however I want!

Damian: If that is the case, I feel you should all be disowned-

Dick: why are we all arguing again?!

Damian/Tim/Jason/Bruce: SHUT UP, DICK/GRAYSON

Dick:… what did I do? 🥺

Helena: *screaming from upstairs*

Selina:…

Bruce:…

Everyone:…

Bruce:…we’ll take this outside.

Selina: That would be great, thank you.

[no-see-um-incorrect]

Ok soooo im having a really fucked day mentally…….. so here’s how my favorite ASMR boys would help you during your mentally fucked days 

Seth🏕️

He’s been there. He knows how it is. 

He’ll pick you up throw you over his shoulder, grab the softest blanket in the house and a whole box of your favorite cookies/comfort snack. He puts on your favorite playlist/movie/TV show

Put you on his lap with the blanket over you and hold you close. gently kissing your neck and shoulders. He doesn’t say much. he doesn’t have to say much. he’ll listen, he’ll nod. But rarely will any words be spoken unless prompted 

Charlie🍕🐭

He knows you. You guys literally grew up together, trying to hide it from him is pointless. 

He’ll walk up to you and give you a big hug. (as big as the skinny bitch can muster) and he won’t let you go until you are willing to sit down and talk about it.

“it’s OK Casper”

“let it out……I’ll be here when you’re ready”

“Your not a burden babe… you’re never a burden”

After you’re done talking, you lay in bed together and cuddle until you both asleep

Milo🐾

We already know how good Milo is at this kind of thing.

Provided that you’re not already in panic zone. Milo can always tell when his sweetheart is not doing well.  he goes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist.

(provided that you have the same reaction as me that would make you cry right then and there.)

He listens, he holds you close, he makes it better.

You’d think he was taking lessons From caelum for how quickly he makes “the knots” go away. Sure some knots will always be there and he knows that. But he will try his hardest to make you feel safe and loved.

If I do caelum I just might cry While typing this

Sam❤️

(What is it with broken southern men) Sam. much like Seth also knows what it’s like.

“I got ya darlin’….you’re safe here”

Sam holds you close to his chest. And just lets you vent while he softly rubs your back. He’ll use his flannel sleeve to wipe off any stray tears.

You can ask if you’re being too much. You can tell him you didn’t want to be a burden. 

But he won’t have any of it.

“darlin do you think it’s a burden when I share my sorrows with you?”

“No.” (If you say yes. f@ck you)

“then why do you think I’d be burdened with hearing yours?”

Once the vent session is done, and your tears are dried. He’ll give you all the kisses, and whisper all the sweet nothings. And get you back to feeling like you’re on top of the world. 

 Auron📚

(Didn’t think I was gonna bring him out did ya)

We know that he’s not the softest guy in the world, but when he is it’s good.

He realizes that you’re not acting your normal self and will request a meeting with you (whilst also clearing the next two hours of his schedule)

He sits on the couch in his office (he’s loaded He has one) you sit down next to him, and he pats his lap.

“come here. rest your eyes rook” you lay your head in his lap, and he  runs his fingers through your hair. He won’t push you to talk. He’ll just wait until you’re ready.  but if he feels that you’re not telling him because you don’t want to bother him. He’ll reassure you.

“we may be on work hours,  but I want you to know i’m still here….. you can interrupt me at any time of the day or night if you need anything”

The rest is up to you.

Guy🍕

It doesn’t matter if you are the best at hiding it. if literally nothing in your demeanor changes, if you’re just the same as you always are,

he knows 

“Honeyyyyy~ what’s wrong”

Hide your emotions all you want you’re gonna end up talking about it. he’ll kiss all over you, Whispering little praises, make extremely lewd comments. you know guy being guy just a lotmore than usual. and somehow even he’s confused about this. It makes you feel better. 

Sorry if this sucks, my hands were shaking the entire time and I still don’t have my glasses fixed. Love y’all, and I wish you well 





[quotessharry]

Calvin Klein (Dr3 x f! F1 driver smut)

Based on this post I wrote the CK photoshoot one and I really like it so you shall receive and enjoy!

Synopsis: An underwear ad photoshoot with three of the hottest drivers in F1 sounds fun right?

Pairing: Daniel Ricciardo x f! F1 driver, fIf1 driver x Lewis Hamilton (platonic)

Words: 3.2k

Warnings: smut, choking

When she got the call about Calvin Klein offer, it was a no brainer, of course she would do it. Later on she was told two other drivers would join her cause it was a Formula 1 campaign but she never cared to ask who, she’d find out when she get there.

It was a week before Texas, she was in New York making her way inside the studio for photoshoot, still in the dark about who the other drivers could be. She hummed a song under her breath and pushed the door “oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me” she said to herself, face palming. The two drivers were Daniel Ricciardo and Lewis Hamilton, of course it was thinking of it, she couldn’t think of any other drivers who would willingly wear underwear in front of camera and show off their balls. She was glad Lewis was there, they were close both on and off track, her main issue was Daniel. Not that they were enemies or on bad terms or even had a beef, she just liked him a bit too much and they had banters back and forth. Lando would try and convince her that it was way passed from just a crush and she was in love with him but she never listened. Before she could man up to face Daniel, Lewis turned his head and waved at her, blowing her cover. She tried to give herself the mental pep talk that it’s fine and it all will go smoothly.

The sound of Daniel’s laugh filled the room as she walked to the small group, Lewis was the first to embrace her “heyy, it’s good to a familiar face around”

She returned the hug and pointed to Daniel “what about him?”

“Oh nice of you to appreciate my existence, hello” Daniel said, finally getting her attention.

“Don’t talk to me Ricciardo I’m still mad about the collusion” she really wasn’t, the collusion was deemed race accident, she just wanted to talk more to him.

“Cmon already sour? I said sorry, and you are going to see me half naked soon so I’d say it’s all even” he winked

“Yeah I bet she would love that, wouldn’t you?” Lewis said with a laugh, elbowing her side. He was aware of her little crush and he’d be damned if he wouldn’t spend the whole day teasing her. She gave him a warning look that Daniel hopefully missed due to how hard he was laughing.

“Guys please pay attention” a woman spoke to them “we have prepared a dressing room for each of you, you can find your stuffs there and when you’re ready please take a sit for makeup”

Before she goes, Lewis grabbed her arm and spoke in hushed tone “this is your golden chance”

“Golden chance for what?” She was confused

“To finally make a move on Daniel you idiot” he said as if it’s a very obvious thing

“But-“ she didn’t have more to add

“No buts, this is your best chance I’ll help you” Lewis offered, determined to make something happen between them.

“Ok fine, Im counting on your pretty ass”

The first round was jean, shirt and sneakers, each went ahead for their solo shots, then they paired up Daniel with her for another round. She changed into a denim coat and he was still in shirt.

“Get closer” the photographer instructed, they awkwardly reduced the space between them.

“A little bit more, Daniel throw your hands over her shoulders, head held high, yes fantastic”

She was sure her heart was beating rapidly at the close approximate, Daniel turned his head to her face with a smile “well hello there, don’t you look good?” His eyes scanned her face before grabbing too much attention.

“If you think this is good wait till you see me in underwear” she flirted back, that’s how she started liking him, he always kept the flirt going on.

“That’s the sole reason I accepted this” he joked, shooting her a wink that the photographer didn’t miss to take the picture of.

“Honestly Daniel, why you keep trying to get me naked?” She teased him, liking the little game.

“Thanks you two the shoots looks fantastic” the photographer interrupted the moment, when they separated she took a long breath to keep herself in check.

“Hey, hey wait” Daniel called her before they go for a change.

“Yeah? What is it?” He stepped closer and leaned down “I just wanted to make sure you aren’t actually mad about what happened on track” he seemed like he genuinely cared about it and he did, he always tried to be the first one who would take the first step and speak to the driver he had a collusion with, even though he had already done that, her earlier comment had him thinking maybe it wasn’t enough.

She put her hand on his arm, immediately feeling how firm it was, almost wanting to squeeze the muscles but stopped herself “Daniel no, of course I’m not, I’m just teasing you dummy”

He smiled in relief, using the close distance to kiss her cheek “ok that’s a relief, can’t wait to see you naked” he was gone and she was blinking rapidly.

Lewis passed her and couldn’t keep the laugh to himself at her face expression, he seemed like he was enjoying watching her suffer.

She was told to be topless for her shoots with Lewis.

She changed the jean and kept it low enough to show off the waistband of her white CK panty, Lewis was waiting, wearing only white underwear and looking hot, she knew the girls around them were drooling over the scene.

“Nice tits” Lewis called out, causing both her and Daniel laugh.

“Does that mean I can say nice balls?” She raised her eyebrows questionably.

“Wait till you see mine” Daniel regretted making the comment as soon as it left his mouth.

“Awesome, balls competition is exactly what I need now” she hated how her hands wasn’t available to hide the blush on her cheeks.

They stood in front of the camera and she realized she should take her hands off her boobs “ok are you ready?” She asked Lewis

“Ready for what-oh!” He was pretty shocked when she wrapped her legs around his waist “put your hands on my ass” she spoke between her teeth and soon his hands were on her ass, his face pressed against her chest to cover the full view of her boobs “I’m completely pressed against your tits” he commented teasingly.

“What you don’t like it?” She asked, faking that she is offended.

“No no I do, I mean what can I ask for more?” He jokingly massaged her ass and both giggled.

Daniel was watching it all, he hated to admit but they seemed to have genuine chemistry and the way Lewis was holding her close had him gritting his teeth and the muscle of his jaw, how could they get close like that in front of him?

As if that wasn’t enough, now he had his hand on her waist and his head in her neck، he felt like he could explode. He knew her for so long but he never thought seeing her with another man could make him lose it considering she is basically surrounded with 19 other men every race week including himself. He turned so he doesn’t have to see and occupied himself with his phone but the giggles still reached his ear and boiled his blood.

“I’m sorry but are you ok? Your neck seems so red” one of the assistant spoke to him, offering him a bottle of water.

Daniel knew he was angry, but he didn’t know it’s actually obvious to those around him. He lifted his head and caught a glance of her, on Lewis’ shoulders and his hands on her thighs to keep her up. He immediately looked at the woman in front of him to distract himself “yes I’m good thank you”

She kept asking Lewis if Daniel was watching and was so disappointed to find out he was on his phone the entire time.

She loved the way she looked in those grey bralette and underwear, the size was perfect and she was impatient to see the look on Daniel’s face.

Things changed when she saw Daniel in nothing but black underwear, his thigh tattoo looking glorious and his abs begging her to run her hand on his body, hell she’d lie if she say she wouldn’t do more to him.

Daniel was mesmerized by her, the color looked ravishing on her and he was grateful to sneak a peek of her body, long legs that Daniel would do anything to throw them over his shoulders while his head is buried deep between her soft thighs and she isn’t able to do anything but to moan his name and beg. Even though he was busy checking her out he didn’t miss her eyes on himself. “sweetheart, my eyes are up here” everything about the sentence leaving Daniel’s mouth left her a mess, the way he said it, the teasing edge, the way he was practically eye fucking her. In that moment she knew she needed more from him, and by the look of it he could tear her apart.

All three made their way for a group shoot, Lewis stood in front of her and Daniel was behind “now this is the orgy I’d accept” she said, licking her lips at the two half naked men.

“Please, can we agree to never bring this up on track?” Lewis begged, but she didn’t seem to care.

“Get closer, why do you all stand like you got a beef with each other?” The photographer commented, laughing at how awkward they were.

She put her hand on Lewis’ abs and threw the other around Daniel’s neck, closed her eyes and threw her head backwards. Daniel prayed to God that he could keep his cock under control cause a boner would be embarrassing.

“That was nice guys, improvise a little bit come on”

Next thing she knew, Daniel’s hand curled around her waist and pulled her back until her ass was pressed against him and his hand landed on her ass to move her, Lewis’ hand was on her thighs. Her skin was soft, and for a moment he got ballsy, hands grabbing a handful of her flesh and he had to swallow a sound in his throat cause it felt so damn good to touch her like that, in that moment they heard the click of camera, must be a good damn shot.

If she knew self control would be tested during shoots like this she probably would have rejected, Daniel’s big hand rubbing her ass as if bunches of people aren’t present and as if Lewis isn’t giving her eyes at Daniel’s gesture. She wanted to melt in the warmth of his hand, she needed more, wanted to feel his hands all over her desperately.

What she didn’t see coming after the little stunt was Daniel pulling away her hair and keeping his head next to her neck, his hot breath hitting her skin. She didn’t dare to breath and she was hot, she just needed it to end so she could finally do something.

After few more poses, her and Daniel was dismissed.

She basically fled to her dressing room and breathed out of relief, until a knock interrupted, “come in” she shouted, still trying to catch her breath.

A very frustrated and slightly angry Daniel went inside.

“God, the things you did to me today” he rumbled angrily at her, his hair ruffling his curls. Her stomach twitched at his tone knowing damn well what was coming, the idea already staining her underwear “oh yeah? Why don’t you man up and show me?” She prayed to God the comment gonna do something and it did, he walked up closer slowly and stood in front of her to enjoy the scene before leaning down and kissing her with such a force that she was pushed backwards, his hand held her waist to prevent her from falling and he did not shy away from biting her plump lips, completely sucking her lips between his. His lips was much better than whatever she had fantasized with, so soft and fluffy. Her fingers tugging on his curls had his self control slipping through his fingers, He pushed her back and guided her carefully until she was pressed against the cold wall, pussy so wet that she was dripping in that fresh underwear.

Daniel’s hand wrapped around her throat and he felt like he got harder at the feeling, he was barely resisting not to put more pressure on her precious skin. The previous photoshoot was playing vividly in his brain as he showed his frustration “you have no idea how hard it was to watch you being too close with him” his voice was angry and firm that sends shivers down her spine, he made sure to leave his fingertips’ mark on her soft skinned throat, already impatient to catch the sight of her bruised skin around the paddock, knowing he is the one who did this.

She was gone too far to hold back anything, her eyes shut but she managed to talk “oh yeah? Are we gonna talk about what happened there? You would have fucked me right then and there” she didn’t know where the sudden braveness came from but she couldn’t hold back when it was happening, she wanted to make him tick, to make him give her the worst.

He wanted to fuck her right now, without hesitation and waiting, he needed to be inside her and fuck her rough and hard until she was a mess in his arms but now that he got the chance, he wanted to savior it. He slowed down and traced her skin until he reached her chest, her hard nipples were obvious from the thing cotton of her bralette, his thumb circled the hardened bud slowly, his eyes not missing any reaction on her face. She put her hand on his hard cock, feeling how packed he was and enjoying that it was all for her.

He pulled down the bralette until her tits fell out, his hands cupping them “you’re so cruel for hiding yourself from me”

Her voice barely came out, it was hard to focus when his fingers were fondling her so damn good “if I knew all it took for you to put your freaking hands on my body is to see me with Lewis, I would’ve done this long time ago”

The fact that she wanted this more than him, gave Daniel ecstasy.

He grabbed the back of her neck and forced her on her knees, she had been waiting for this “then show how much you want it”

She pulled down the black underwear and let her eyes to memorize the sight in front of her, he was massive, veins popping out and pre cum leaking, without wasting any time she put her lips around the tip, leaking off the sour cream, his hand massaged her neck and snipped his hips forward, forcing himself into her warm mouth and she took all of it, already drooling over her chin, his fingers grabbed her jaw firmly and force him to look at him loving the sight of her on her knees with his cock buried deep in her mouth “that’s my girl, take it so well” his hand moving to put her hair in a ponytail to control her better.

The praise hits her pussy wetter and she dragged her tongue on his length moaning . “fuck, that’s enough, I wanna be inside you now” he closed his eyes to keep his composure and dragged her up by her chin.

Once again she was pressed against the wall but this time a little more firmly and she didn’t mind it at all, his hands taking off her underwear, long fingers dragging over her stomach feeling the muscles tense under his touch, he moved lower reveling in sight of how wet she was, callused fingers finally making contact with her wet cunt “if you wanted me to fuck you this bad, you could’ve just ask” he said, putting his knees next to her legs opening them wider for easier access.

“That’s not gonna fit inside me Danny” she whined, moving her hips on his fingers not to lose the friction.

“I will make it fit” he positioned himself and nudged her open, she looked at him with those eyes and he melted ,going inside slowly to avoid causing any discomfort. She hid her moans behind her hand, not being able to take her eyes off his cock going inside her, the stretch and the pain brought tears to her eyes but she needed more, when he pushed again she felt like she was being ripped in half “you’re so tight, damn it feels too good” he growled in her ears and started moving. “Don’t you dare to stop” she whined, grabbing his neck to bring him closer and kissing him, she already felt addicted to the way he kissed and the way his lips moved against hers, his tongue entering her mouth not giving her a chance to do it first. Fingertips digging hard enough to leave a mark and the other wrapped around her throat.

No words in the world could express the way they were feeling, she has never felt so full before, as if they were made for each other. He thrusted slowly few times enjoying the feeling “fuck, do it harder” when the words left her mouth, who he was to deny her, he sped up, inside and out smoothly, coaxing sounds she didn’t know she could make causing her to drip on her thighs. Her small whimpers like a music to his ears and he didn’t want it to end.

Daniel craved to nip her skin and mark her,already planning to give her enough until he could see how dark her neck was when she would take off her helmet in Texas. His lips sucked the skin hard enough until a dark circle appeared and he moved on to another spot, repeating the process, he trailed his wet lips until he got to her boobs, bouncing with each thrust. Her hand grabbed his curls, encouraging him to go forward with his act.

The tip of his tongue touched her hardened nipple, sending jolts of joy across her body, he rounded his tongue and her grip on his hair tightened “Danny, for fuck’s sake” she didn’t know what she was saying, she needed to moan his name like her life depended on it, no one has ever fucked her as good as this.

“Danny please” his hand pressed against her belly felt her muscles tightened under his touch and he knew she was close. He pulled out completely and slammed into her hard enough that her eyes rolled back and her tears were running on her cheeks, the soft kiss he left on her cheek was in contrast with the way he was fucking her roughly.

“Im-I’m so close” she barely got the words out between his hard and deep thrusts.

“I know love I know, me too” he said, their forehead touching as he slowed down, feeling her cum on his cock as he fucked her through her orgasm, loving to put it back in only to watch it drip and repeated the process until she was shaking, lips touching so she could moan into his mouth. He pulled out and spilled the rest on her stomach, both breathing heavily. If it wasn’t for Daniel’s grip around her, she would’ve fallen.

“Wow, I had no idea you were that mad Daniel” she giggled into his neck.

“You didn’t seem to dislike it” he pointed out, admiring his artworks on her body.

“No no no, actually we should go back to hotel and continue it cause I really want that pretty face of yours between my thighs” she said, not shying away from asking for more

Daniel made a chef’s kiss gesture with his hand “I would love nothing else, but before that you should sneak me out”

“Ohhh righttt, ok I’ll see if someone is close by” she said, grabbing some clothes to sneaking her head to check around, Lewis was still busy with different colors of boxers and briefs but he suddenly caught her eyes and raised his eyebrows, she smiled awkwardly and gave him two thumbs up as a sign that it went better than expected.

“Alright they’re pretty busy with Lewis so if you go fast enough no one will see you” she concluded to a fully naked Daniel and he shook his head. Pulling up his underwear he went ahead and looked both ways before sneaking out but Lewis’s eyes caught him and he giggled, it wasn’t hard to figure out that he definitely knew what happened and Daniel was already thinking how awkward their encounter gonna get.

The next stage was easy, get ready, leave, reunite in hotel room and fuck until they both pass out.

[heartsoji]

KUNIMI AKIRA: the start

the start of your relationship with kunimi was very hesitant.

you had seen all those cute couple things online and had complained about wanting to do them, but kunimi wasn't one to take the initiative and take you out for picnic dates or ask you to do the laundry with him, and asking him was actually a lot more nerve-wracking than expected.

one thing in particular that you had always wanted to do but couldn't because you didn't have a boyfriend (rip i don't either) was to steal his hoodies, wear them with pride, and not giving a f*ck about his demands to give it back. and in your pre-relationship mind, kunimi had lots and they looked really comfy so it would be cute. however, it was actually kind of scary. like this was the start of your relationship with him. you didn't want to cause any conflict. what if he got mad that you took one? what if it caused a fight between the two of you and your relationship would become rocky? there was just too much at risk.

however, you still desperately wanted to wear one, so you not-so-subtly tried to get kunimi to give you one instead.

"aki, i'm kinda cold."

"yeah?" *gives you a hug*

and while yes, this was very cute, he was not taking the hint.

he was denser than you thought.

eventually, you couldn't take it anymore and just took one. you decided to take one that you rarely ever saw him wear and just hope that he didn't notice.

you came to kunimi's prepared. you had already memorized where kunimi kept that specific hoodie and where he put his spare hangers. you brought a large tote bag to store the hoodie with a plushie inside to avoid suspicion. you put an alarm on your phone as a fake reminder that would strike after you had stolen the hoodie. then, while he was in the bathroom, you sprinted to his closet, opened it quietly, pulled the hoodie off the hanger, put it with his other spares, quietly shut his closet, pulled out the plushie, and replaced it with his hoodie. you then tossed your bag by the door underneath your coat and ran back to your former spot on his couch, plushie in your arms. when he came back, you presented him with the plushie.

"ta-da! i saw it at the arcade and it reminded me of you, so i got it."

this wasn't a lie, so you were able to say it smoothly.

he smiled softly and accepted the gift, giving you a small "thanks" and a shy peck on your forehead, which made you fall for him a little more.

then, your "reminder" on your phone went off.

"AH! sorry aki gotta go no time to explain no need to see me off love you bye!" and with that, you rushed off. you didn't want him to see your stuffed tote.

when you returned home, you pulled the hoodie out of your tote. it was a simple dark grey hoodie with a small logo on the top right corner. you pulled it over your head and inhaled its scent.

because he didn't wear it often, it didn't smell like him very much. however, it did just a little bit, which left a little grin on your face. you hoped that he wouldn't notice it was gone.

but of course, kunimi's an observant guy and noticed.

"hey, y/n?" kunimi waved you over the next day at lunch.

"what, aki?" you asked innocently.

"have you seen my hoodie? the grey one."

fuck.

"y-you have a lot of grey ones, aki." you stuttered.

"i guess. sorry, just wanted to know if you had seen it since you came over yesterday." he said.

"n-no..?"

"oh. ok. thanks anyways. i love you."

you felt your heart flutter at the last part and couldn't take it anymore.

"a-aki.. i took your hoodie. 'm sorry." you admitted, looking down shyly at your feet.

he looked a little surprised. just a little.

"but why though?" he asked. "i'm not mad by the way, just curious."

you could feel your cheeks heating up. "it.. kinda smells like you."

anyone who didn't know better would think that kunimi was unfazed by this. but if you just looked at his ears, you could see a red tint.

"oh." he said slowly, before pulling his favorite hoodie out of his bag.

"here." he held it out to you, eyes to the side.

"huh..?" you were confused. what was going on?

"i don't wear that one often. take this one instead." he mumbled.

you felt your heart swell and you accepted the hoodie.

"thanks, aki!" you said happily.

you nuzzled your face into the soft material. this one had a much stronger scent than the other one and you loved it. you pulled it on over your uniform and smiled brightly, burying your face into it like he did with his.

he looked away, his ears a bright red. "yeah, yeah." he muttered before giving you a quick peck on the forehead.

"and by the way.. you can take them whenever you want. it's a good way to brand you as mine." he added before walking back to his table, leaving you standing there, frozen. you could feel your cheeks burning like crazy.

bonus - 3 months later

"Y/N GIVE ME BACK MY HOODIE ITS BEEN 3 MONTHS"

"NO"

*tackles you on the couch and tickles you until ur wheezing before pulling it off of your figure and holding it in the air triumphantly*

[py-dreamer]

Shadowalkers Au

Ok so I said I was gonna make this so here we go...

(I literally came up with this idea in the subway help) (I'm going to assume y'all have watched the movie)

Basically: Lmk cast in Wolfwalkers.

BUT

There is a little bit of different lore here

For starters, they're not wolves anymore. (it just didn't really make sense to me to make them into a different animal especially since both celestial primates can do the 72 transformations like it's no biggie) They're more like the enormous f*ck you smoke monster that Macaque introduced in his first episode. So you're a person when you're awake and a shadow when you're asleep.

Macaque takes the role of Mammy here and Bai He the role of Mebh Xiaotian plays Robyn and Wukong as Goodfellowe, ok? ok.

Bai He gets to be a little gremlin, Mk is big brother, Wukong is Good Dad TM and while not in here as much, Mac is also Good Dad TM

Now Mk and Wukong are regular stone monkeys from a far away mountain (SWK doesn't have all his OP taoist superpowers here). Their old home was burned down and they were forced to move. Wukong was already serving as a disciple under master Tripitaka when he took in a baby MK as his own. Tripitaka sadly perished in the fire.

The new town they move to is called the Diyu ruled under the 10th king in a long line of monarchs (why the background seemed so dark and a bit sinister in the last pic). Wukong serves as a hunter to get rid of all the shadow creatures in the nearby woods who seem to have a mind of their own.

But why get rid of them? Well you know how in the mythos, the Diyu was the land of the dead? Well in this au, Shadowalkers are known to be real but very rare and they have the power of healing and are said to be able to control the line between life and death. See what I'm getting at here?

Now because of Wukong's intense fear of death, and in this au he'd already been taught by the monk and now has a son of his own to worry about and without the layers of immortality to shield him, I figured, he'd be a lot more cautious and closer to Goodfellowe in this way. He'd still be more carefree and playful of course but he's still under the firm grip of the command of the king. (the circlet thingys on his gloves also signifies this)

The majority of the population here are humans since I wanted to single out Mk and SWK here and it just made sense so for the majority of the time, they wear cloaks so as to not frighten everyone.

Ok so about the abilities of the shadowalkers, oh boy,

One, they can heal. Two, they have their smoke monster like forms. Three, they can travel through shadows themselves and mare most powerful at night. When they travel in the shadows, they're flat like the surfaces they travel on. And like in the movie, a bite from a shadowalker can turn you into a shadowalker too.

Also concentrated light can hurt them. So for example a flame-tipped arrow can hurt them but not a small ray of sunlight.

Mk sneaks out after his dad one day (idk who could play the role of merlin here) and somehow finds Bai He and gets bitten in the woods. They bond and it's just an adorable thing yada yada.

At night, Mk finds out he's become a shadowalker and finds Bai He. She teaches him their ways and he returns home only to be found by the town who freak out. Wukong himself tries to impale him with his staff but fails. Mk is able to escape and make his way into the palace.

He finds a humongous smoke monster in a cage (aka macaque) and deduces that this must be Bai He's missing dad. But when he tries to free him, Mac tells him to get Bai He and leave cause it's to dangerous and Mk gets found by the king himself.

He wakes up in his person body and tells whoever plays Merlin to find Bai He and leave. She doesn't believe this and runs into town to find MK who's working and reluctantly does what she's told but feels betrayed.

Then she hears word that they were going to execute a giant shadow creature that the king had caught and runs to find it as she realized that they were talking about her dad.

She finds him all caged up and to stop her from getting hurt, Mk calls over to the village kids that he's caught the monster and they put her in a wooden cage (noo...the babies...)

Bai He breaks out anyways, runs to her dad and Wukong is told to catch the girl but Mac ain't having that no no no.

He goes from 0 to 100 and bites Wukong in the arm, giving Bai He the chance to escape but being locked up again in the process. Bai He declares war on the town and runs off.

We have the whole confrontation scene between MK and his dad and Mk frees Mac and they run off to escape. And FINALLY Macaque can reunite with his daughter (see I can be nice...)

...before getting impaled by Wukong's magic staff (nevermind)

(how on brand)

Bai He flees with the shadow creatures and the dying spirit of her father while MK tries to follow after them with Wukong holding him back. Mk falls asleep and transforms in front of his dad before the army caught up.

We have the whole climax battle between the imperial forces of the Diyu and the shadows + WUKONG GETS TO TRANSFORM INTO HIS 3 HEADED KAIJU WAR FORM HERE WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(if you couldn't tell, I have a soft spot for this gremlin)

Then we have my personal favourite scene where the kids heal Macaque and HE'S ALIVE AGAIN YAY

They welcome Wukong into their troupe and FINALLY are able to leave and find their new home...

flower fruit mountain

Gosh that was a mouthful! I'm gonna go to bed now before I get yelled at...

I'll see if I update this au much with like redrawn scenes from the film or headcanons and such but idk, but feel free to drop any ideas in the comments!

(come to think of it, I should also make one of these for shennanigans in space..)

[beetleviolet]

THIS TOOK ME TOO LONG OMG AGH

Collab Masterpost

TJ and Nardo belong to @its-the-chicken-nugg

Misa belongs to @littlemissartemisia

The other Mikey and Luke belong to @boots-with-the-fur-club

And the "Raphaels" are by @justalittleobsessed and @languajix, I kinda didn't ask before I threw them in here for a little bit, sorry!

I doubt this will actually count for points but uhh @tmnt-fandom-family-reunion why not tag feel free to ignore lmao

For reading purposes: Lo is Deaf, and all signing is in italics (unless i missed something lmao). These are all English translations, and are not written in ASL grammar!

“Fuck!” Raph cursed. It was simple to read his lips for that word, a solid “F” that was easy to catch, even if the “-ck” wasn't. That, and by Raph's expression alone anyone could tell he was cursing, his face was twisted in dismay. 

Honestly, Leo was relieved he was finally snapping too. The human and Nardo were, as expected in the situation, losing their shit, but they mostly kept it to themselves. It was nice Leo wasn't the only one fed up with the whole situation. Wasn't the only one “lashing out”, as the human had put it, a frustrated fingerspell. 

Does Mikey know how to swim??, Raph asked, frantic. The whole camp underwater, it had taken Lo and Raph a while to get used to the feeling, even thought they could still breathe. Can't really learn to swim when your only access to water is full of shit. 

He's a turtle. The other Leo signed, apparently fine being called Nardo. Leo was glad Mikey hadn't thought of that one. Maybe worse though, they decided to call him Lo. Raph was the one who suggested it, and Leo didn't want to make himself look insecure by objecting. Now he kinda wished he had. The name ‘Lo’ was something more intimate, something from when they were little. Like he was a kid again.

I'm sure he'll be ok! Nardo continued, but there was a fine tremor to his fingers, and his smile was a little strained. Leo wanted to argue, just for the sake of it, but Raph already looked stressed out of his mind. 

We should split up and cover more ground, The human suggested. A spike of fear drove its way through Lo's chest like a stake through his lunges, or maybe a nail in a coffin, or maybe a little bit of both. 

He had to move. Had to strike first. 

I'll go with you. He signed, and damn it, his hands were shaking too as he pointed to the human. Maybe it was a Leo thing. Raph tracked the movement knowingly. 

I can go with you. Raph offered. 

We need one of you in each group. Nardo interjected firmly. If we find them we need someone from each family to help. He was annoyingly right. Lo nodded. Raph grimaced, 

Fine. Text me if you need anything. 

Ok, Mom. That made Raph crack a smile. A small one, at least. 

Leo thought the day had pulled every last ounce of emotion out of him, wrung him dry, but looking back that was dumb. Raph wasn't there, and when Raph wasn't there Leo was a little less there too. So yeah, part of him expected the fear. 

He hadn't expected it to be… kind of awkward. 

There was a lot of walking, a lot of glancing and then glancing away. The human had to interpret as they asked around, but it wasn't really needed most of the time. There were a lot of shakes of heads, blank stares at the missing poster, tight lips as they shrugged. 

Lo kept his head turned away, not wanting to see anymore. That was, until he looked back and TJ was gone. He jolted, spotting her pink jacket on the shore of the lake and two forms in the water. The human, and.. 

Lo broke into a run. 

It was stupid, but at first he thought the small kid in the water was.. was.. 

It didn't make sense. It had been years since Mikey was that small. 

Lo moved into the water to help, but there wasn't any need. Misa fit neatly into the human’s arms, even as she flailed. 

Thank you, TJ signed anyway. She said something to Misa, a question. Misa's chest was moving up and down, up and down. She flapped her hands in distress. The human said something else, before patting Misa on the back. The kid coughed up water. Lo winced, pressing his shaking hands together. It was fine. Misa was okay! Until she covered her eyes, face painted with distress. TJ seemed to remember Lo was there, signing as she spoke to Misa, 

Don't look at what? She asked her. What? His anxious confusion must have shown on his face, because TJ softened, 

It’s okay Lo, I’ll take care of her. It was almost embarrassing how much he was reassured.

Cold. Misa signed it this time, half of the shivering genuine. TJ wrapped her jacket around her. 

Better? She asked. Misa nodded. The human helped her dry off for a moment before turning to Leo,

We need to bring her with us.

What?? Are you crazy?? Lo signed a little smaller, suddenly aware the kid was watching him, It's too dangerous! She could slow us down! 

He risked a look at Misa. Bad idea, those puppy-dog eyes were killer. 

…it wouldn't be right to just leave her alone.

Fine. Stay close. Misa smiled. She was so cute it was obnoxious. TJ seemed to read his mind,

You're adorable in that jacket! Do you feel okay enough to walk, or should I carry you? Misa held her arms up. Tension fell from TJ’s shoulders, it was clear how much she loved kids. She rested Misa on her hip. Misa chewed on her thumb, signing with one hand,

Where is Misa? 

We're going towards the cabins now. TJ pointed, Is there anyone we need to look for for you? Any friends or family? Misa shook her head. The kid was all alone, then. She bit down on her thumb again. Must have been a nervous habit, it reminded Lo a little of Donnie.

Hey Misa, can you help me? He asked. Misa looked up at Lo curiously. Can you help pass out these posters? She nodded, and took a few from him. The determined spark looked a lot like Raph. 

TJ had been right about taking Misa along, at least this way she would have some people looking after her. 

Hey! Leo snaps back into attention as TJ waves over another Mikey who was rushing by. She interprets a little hecticly, still balancing Misa in one arm. This Mikey was looking for his brother too. 

Who's your brother? Leo asked. The Mikey began to sign as well. 

Huge crocodile! He spread his arms all the way out, indicating what must have been, in scientific terms, a massive fucking crocodile, His name is Luke! 

We can look for him while we search for our siblings. TJ signed. Lo gestured to Misa encouragingly. She handed a poster to the Mikey, who accepted it with thanks. To Leo's excitement, the Mikey's eyes lit up with recognition. 

He gave me a bandana! He pointed to Mikey on the poster. I haven't seen him in a while though. He bit his lip anxiously. Please, let me know if you find my brother, he's been missing since the power outage. 

The power outage… Lo didn't pay attention as TJ rattled off the same warning she had been giving to everyone. Fear spores caused disappearances. Anything glowing blue, even just blue for that matter, was dangerous. When asked for a phone number in case they saw Luke, he handed TJ… a purple cellphone? There was something distinctly Donnie about it.

This can call me directly through my ninpo, and I can call you, I'll let you know if I see anything. 

Thank you. TJ signed gratefully as he rushed away. For a second, just a second, her expression crumpled into something awful, hurt, her eyes shining. She was quick to cover it up,

Ok. Let's go find some more people to ask. Lo nodded along. 

It wasn't any of his business, really. She was a stranger. More than that, she was a human. Messing with humans was stupid, and Lo wasn't stupid. He wasn't. 

…it was just, just for a second, she reminded him of Raph.

Except Raph always hid it a little faster.

…Leo was so stupid. 

How are you? He asks. And he was so bad at this, just like always. TJ glanced at him, surprised he asked. 

Alive. She responded. That was fair. 

Good.. good… He signed. This was just embarrassing. 

What about you? You okay? 

Yeah, yeah. But his nodding fist shook. Lo jerked his hand down and into his pocket. TJ stopped, turning to him. 

We will find Mikey. She looked him in the eye. I won’t stop trying until I know he’s back with you and safe. I promise.

She.. promised. 

In their family, promises were big things. Some days, promises from Raph and Dad were the only things keeping him going. Promises were sacred. So it had to be true, right? 

Damnit, she was just like Raph, taking Lo’s.. concern (ew) and turning it around on him. And just like Raph, it was working, he was all tensed up and eyes stinging, nope, abort mission, abort! 

Right. Same. He avoided eye contact, looking around. Let's ask them! He pointed to a pair of turtles standing nearby. They were trying on red masks, but based on the giggling, and the orange fluttering out of their back pockets, they weren't Raphs. 

Annoying. The human signed small, having to fingerspell the word, They're the ones pranking everyone. She didn't seem too happy about having to talk to them next. Leo fought a smile. It was a little funny when some of the other campers slimed him and Mikey, even if his brother didn't share the sentiment.

As usual, Leo stood back as the human talked and signed along. 

No joke, our siblings are missing, have you seen them? Anywhere at all? There was an immediate reaction that Lo didn't bother paying attention to,

Your siblings are missing? Oh man, I'm sorry. I don't know what I'd do if my big bros went missing. The other turtle elbowed him, Ow-! I mean, if my one older brother Leonardo and my two younger brothers Donatello and Michelangelo went missing because I am Raphael and that is me. I'm Raph. Totally and absolutely. He flashed a smile. 

…right. Lo signed before handing them a poster. To his surprise, the turtle's eyes lit up with recognition. Yeah! Tj did her best to interpret, Me and another Mike pranked him with some glitter, but bro totally freaked out. Cussed us out and everything.

Yikes, Mikey hated glitter. But cussing people out? That didn't sound like him at all. TJ looked annoyed, both with the pranksters and with the inability to sign with both hands. She mumbled something to Misa, who helpfully raised her hand so TJ could tap out a list. 

One, how dare you upset him. Two, Lifesaver! Lifesaver? How did that help at all?? TJ turned to Lo, excited,

The glitter! She pointed to where the crystals were thicker, and it was a bit darker. Something sparkled. Glitter smudged against the stone. 

Maybe TJ really would make good on her promise.

[greater-than-the-sword]

Op of this blocked me but i thought it was important

So I left out their part of the post but copied everything under it

quote, “

Just saying: Tumblr loses several million of dollars per month. It has been losing millions of dollars per month for ... years. We are not even close of changing that and make this site profitable yet.

And if that doesn't change, you may not believe it, but tumblr will close. Back in 2019, if Automattic hasn't bought it, I'm pretty convinced Verizon would have closed before the end of the year. This time, once Automattic says "we can't keep losing millions per month on this"... I don't think there will be anyone else willing to buy this hellsite, even for a single dollar.

Personally, I would prefer Tumblr to be paid by its own users and not being reliant on advertising. I work here, I could have almost everything for free, but I pay my own blazed posts and crab gifts because of this. But we are FAR from getting enough income from people subscribing, blazing or buying gifts. FAR.

And we are not talking about Facebook-like greed here, "Tumblr wants to squeeze us to make even more money!!!". We are talking about Automattic keeping Tumblr alive for three years already, losing millions and even if doing it costs a significant percentage of the income of the company. And no company would let something like that happens forever.

So if you like tumblr, if you enjoy this boiling cauldron of feral goblins, boicot advertisement if you want, but then toss a coin to your tumblr each month.

GIF by imagine-all-the-things

And it's ok if you can't, but then please, let people, or companies, blaze their posts in peace. If they bother you so much, just install an ad blocker.

But if you are actively trying to make advertisers to flee Tumblr, or bullying people who blaze posts, you are actively working towards the closing of this site. So why don't you just move your shit to TikTok or wherever and stop trying to ruin this place for the rest of us?

jv

Oh I have looked through the notes and holy f-ck, how does some people even function in the outside world?

There are several variations of "we have to keep this site unprofitable!!". And holy shit. Christ on a stake.   Forgive my French, but me cago en la puta hostia como se puede ser tan corto.

Repeat with me:

You.Don't.Keep.Any.Site.Unprofitable.

Because if it's unprofitable,

you don't get to keep it for long.

Full stop.

Do you know why Tumblr has stayed around for so long while being unprofitable??

Because it had been run by FOUR DIFFERENT COMPANIES IN THE LAST TEN YEARS.

So each one of those companies tried to make it profitable for two, three years and failed. And at that point, they just sold it to someone else to try.

The last time, Verizon sold it to Automattic for the business equivalent of a jar of peanut butter and a half-full cola bottle. Because they were going to close it anyway, so better to get that than nothing. And you know why Automattic could get it for cheap? Because. No. One. Else. Offered. Anything. Verizon announced very publicly they were trying to sell it and they got one (1) offer. Because purchasing Tumblr means you are purchasing a thing that puts you several million in debt PER MONTH.

So can you picture, can you imagine, what it will happen if the current owners decide that they can't keep having this thing that costs them so much money per month to maintain?? It has been owned by Automattic for three years already, longer than what it was owned by Yahoo or Verizon. Can you imagine what it would happen if they decide to stop losing money on this thing??

No, there won't be any new owner.

And no, there won't be any fucking tumblr anymore.

akorah

I see your point. The problem is we've seen every single social media site turn into an algorithmic hellscape once they started having major advertisers like this. How can we be confident Tumblr won't do the same? How can we be confident that Tumblr won't get dollar signs in their eyes with these brands escaping Twitter, and start changing the site to accommodate them? We've heard promises before from other social media platforms that things will get 'better' once the money comes in, and we've been betrayed by algorithms and absolutely heinous business practices.

jv

Because the presence of big brands or not is not the symptom of being an algorithmic hellscape or not. Data collection is.

Big brands were advertising on the internet way before the hyper focused ads and data mining became The Way of paying for internet services.

If tumblr starts asking you to fill a profile with your personal info, ask you to connect your contacts, etc, that's the symptom of a turn towards an algorithmic advertising business model. But Tumblr could have done that at any point in the last 10 years and become a money-making machine like the other major social networks. And it didn't happen, for a reason: neither the current management nor the past one wanted to do that and they always have been trying to make Tumblr the platform that manages to succeed while respecting its user's privacy.

You know, I personally don't care about Marvel, but I have gotten blazed posts by Tor books and I was delighted. And if you think about it, marvel blazing its posts is EXACTLY what we want to happen all over the internet. Being realistic, we are not going to make this site to be 100% user funded for a long while, so ads are inevitable. That being the case, what's a better option than the brands sending their ads to everyone, without any segmentation, paying for N impressions and that's it. That was how internet ads were before Google and Facebook became the big brother and started selling our info to advertisers so they could convince your uncle to embrace fascism.

And if Tumblr manages to get to profitability with a mix of "old school ads" and users paying for stuff, we will be demonstrating that there is another way to make a social platform sustainable without it being a facade for a user-data mining gig. But if we boycott every single other way to make money here, not only we would kill Tumblr, but we will also make it the case study proving that privacy invasion and data selling is the one and only way to make money with any social network.

jv

@catfluff

I already wrote about this in another post, but let me do a quick explanation of what's going on here. Before Automattic/tumblr, I used to work in an ad network, so I learned quite a bit about online advertising and how it works.

So…

Why do I get ads that seem to be tailored to me on Tumblr if Tumblr doesn't sell my data 101

So. Most of the ads you see on Tumblr are not really something a company contacts Tumblr directly to put in here. There's is this thing that's called "ad exchanges" that is where a big chunk of internet advertising comes from. Basically, when you have an app, or a site, and want to put advertising on it, you reach a deal with one, or usually several, of those ad exchanges to 'sell' your ad space through them.

Basically, they are like ebay, but for ad space and only used by computers. When you are browsing tumblr and the app decides that is time to show you an ad, what it does is pinging one of these ad exchanges telling it "hey, I have space for an ad of these characteristics (size, format, etc)". Then the ad exchange put the space 'on sale', all the potential advertisers bid for it, and the one with the higher bid sends the ad you are going to be shown. All this bidding happens in milliseconds, so there are a lot of folks like me who work on making computers smart enough to win those bids over other competing advertisers, etc.

The thing is that when you are one of the services that are bidding for that ad space, you get some data from the ad exchange so you can tell if you want to bid or not. The most basic info, the one you get from apps that don't really share personal info, is just things like the ip address, the advertising id from your phone, maybe your general geographic area (mostly, your country), the languages your browser or your phone accepts. Then, if the app is doing some spying on you, you may get some extra data: Your gender, your age, all kinds of "profile" info advertisers can use to decide if they want to bid for that ad space or not.

Now, the advertisers are continuously getting this info and there's really no way to tell them what to do with it. And they are smart enough to not just let it waste. Every time they get one of those ad opportunities, they store the data, even if they don't win the bid. And then… they can do things with that data.

Imagine you use, for example, an app that's mining your data and selling it to advertisers through an ad exchange. The advertiser gets the opportunity to show you an ad, and whether they bid or not, they store the data they get. Your ip, your ids, the profiling data the app is sending to them, everything.

Now, you close the crappy spying app and decide to spend some time browsing this hellsite. Tumblr also wants to show you an ad, so it sends the request to the ad exchange with the minimum information possible: your ip, your phone unique id, your language. The advertiser gets pinged to be told about this chance to show you an ad, but they can't profile you, so it's not particularly interesting. Unless… oh yeah, they have a record from 10 minutes ago that matches your ip! And in that record, they have that you are in Calatayud, Spain, that you are a woman between 25 and 30 years, and that you like dogs. So … yeah, they decide to bid for the tumblr ad, and send you an ad based on the information about you they have recorded. Bam. You get an ad about a pet shop next to your street and you go "WTF, tumblr is selling my data!". Fair, but not really what happened.

The best example of this is when you travel internationally. Let's say you are in Germany, and your phone is full of german-language ads. But you turn it off and take a plane to Portugal. When you land, you turn your phone on again, and, for a while, you are still getting german ads all over. Why? Because the advertisers stored your phone id back when you still were in Germany, so if they are sending you an ad in an app that's not really sharing much about you, they are just checking you up in their databases. And it will take a while for them to get enough information about you for telling that you are now in Portugal and adjust the ads they serve to you.

How is this even legal?!?!? well, if you are in the US … mostly everything is legal there. If you are in the UE, they are technically not storing any personal information about you (because IPs or phone ids aren't considered personal info), so there is no link to your name anywhere, they are ok to store all that data about you (if you ask me, that's A HELL of a technicality). Everywhere else, I really don't know the legal framework to talk about it.

So… yeah. That's it. That's the thing. That's how an advertiser can profile you even on tumblr, even if tumblr doesn't tell them much about you to them.

deactivated-662bce

One correction: IP address is protected personal information under GDPR.

But yeah, tl;dr

tumblr costs millions to operate and is not profitable

3rd parties WILL harvest your data wherever you go, whether it's legal or not (something something Cambridge Analytica)

use Firefox's Enhanced Tracking Protection, Ghostery, some Ad Block, VPN, whatever

enabled Do Not Track in your browser and phone

reset your phone's Advertiser ID every couple of weeks anyway

also remember that an INSANE amount of information you share (and even which don't share!) on facebook, youtube, instagram, google, tiktok, etc all get scraped, processed, and sold to third parties

even if you never say "I like cats" on facebook, but interact with a lot of cat photos, facebook WILL KNOW THAT YOU LIKE CATS, and WILL SELL THIS INFORMATION. Tumblr doesn't - but if your blog is public, anyone can scrape it and derive this information themselves.

by default FACEBOOK FOLLOWS YOU on every site that has the cursed Like button, fb comment section, or similar widgets! Disqus, Spotify, YouTube, Twitch, all similar embedded widgets harvest your data as well!

TIKTOK READS WHAT YOU TYPE INTO OTHER APPS, UNINSTALL THAT SPYWARE JUNK RIGHT NOW

you joke that "your FBI agent this or that" but NSA genuinely has tons of information and a psychological profile on every single one of you, whether it's obtained legally or (most often) not. They know if you're a climate activist. They know if you joke about blowing up . You Are On A List.

"Over 26,000 individuals were at one point catalogued on an FBI list of persons to be rounded up in the event of a "national emergency". [source]" <- this was in 1976, long before Internet, what do you think they have now?

do not blame Tumblr for trying to survive financially

pay for ad-free tumblr, $40 a year is very likely less money than facebook+insta+tiktok+youtube+reddit makes off of you every year

this is not a hellsite, this is a hellworld, and Tumblr (the company; not your blog as such) is somehow the smallest privacy concern that you can possibly have (today)