#yes Damien’s last name is my headcanon

[pycth]

I miss them, your honor—

Unfortunately there weren’t enough to add Huxley and Coworker, so let’s just say they were their bail LMAO

I hope we at least get a DAMN Crew Halloween video of some kind, honestly I just want my boys and Freelancer (+Coworker, hopefully)— a crumb, if you will 🤲 I’ve got all my fingers crossed for anything atp

Also as a heads up, since I’ll be working on Imperium stuff for most of October it’s gonna be mainly focusing on the DAMN Crew versions of the AU (aside from inbox doodles ofc) I’ve got a good handful of stuff I’m real excited to share soon 👀

The original:

[capitalisticveins]

Gavin and Guy (separate) HCs!

Reward for @free-boundsoul winning. These are my first headcanons back (this is a lie I have Solaire clan hcs i just dont know when I wanna post them) after a while of not writing so I hope these are up to standards, enjoy!

Guy once BEGGED Honey to buy tickets to see Wicked. Their job pays better than his (like infinitely better) so he couldn’t afford them. After like a week or two they caved and bought a single ticket for him.

He complained about it saying he wanted his “honey bunny booboo bear” with him and after another week of whining they caved again and bought another.

Gavin can’t stand citrus fruit but makes sure to buy some whenever he goes grocery shopping because Freelancer likes them

Gavin prefers games that are either straightforward or rocky with the meaning being unclear, no inbetween at all.

Gavin can pole dance and unlike Damien it is for sexual intentions. Only reason Freelancer doesn’t know is because they don’t own a pole.

Guy has met every character in the cast with the only exception being Caelum, Scorpius, Cicirnus, and Quinn

Yes, even Brachium. He died for like a solid 5 minutes once.

Gavin was egotistical as FUCK when he first coalesced. He thought he was just automatically better than everyone else and that’s why his relationship with Ophiuchus is non-existent

Guy has a fanclub he doesn’t know about, and Honey is the vice president of it

Guy, Geordi, and Ollie are all online friends. Guy and Geordi do know each other irl but they haven’t met Ollie

Gavin used to be teased for his long name, it’s part of the reason his name is so short now

Guy and Gavin are THE most flexible characters in the cast no I will not take any criticism at this time

Contrary to popular belief, Guy isn’t a big fan of pizza. On the rare occasion he does eat pizza though it’s New York Style

Gavin spent at least 5 hours on the internet looking for the perfect name for him when he decided to change it.

One of the many reasons Gavin doesn’t like Ophiuchus is because they keep calling him “Vindemiator” despite him saying he goes by “Gavin” now.

Guy owns a Miku binder ironically

Guy used to have those little fuzzy mohawks as a kid until he decided to get a buzz cut when he was 13 and grew it out ever since

Guy had his first tooth kicked out in a McDonalds play place

Gavin is actually pretty good at “Golf With Your Friends” after Freelancer finally got him to sit down and pay attention.

Gavin owns THREE mermaid dresses 

Guy can play the drums…he just feels like a drum guy

Guy is like…..wayyyyy too interested in the Hunting Adeline and Haunting Adeline. He doesn’t LIKE the books but he just…can’t put them down.

Neither can Honey

Gavin unironically listens to CupcakKe

Due to….habits… and him being a demon, Gavin can fit 50 marshmallows in his mouth. He doesn’t know this but Huxley would be the reason he found this out

His name was supposed to be a joke his mom made but Guy’s dad misinterpreted her intentions and told the doctor they wanted Guy to be named “Guy” with no further questions. Guy is putting him in the nursing home for this.

He was bullied relentlessly* for this in elementary and middle school 

Gavin scams kids on roblox for fun

Guy was one of these “kids” (This happened last week he completely trusted Gavin because Gavin said “trust me”)

Both Gavin and Guy like to think they can win a staring contest by closing their eyes and not opening them because “technically it’s not blinking”

Freelancer likes to let Gavin thinks he won but Honey just slaps the shit out of Guy and says “YOU HAVE TO FUCKING STARE”

*by “bullied relentlessly” he means “being asked why he was named Guy every week" with no malicious intent whatsoever

[td-rarepairs]

Describing every single rare pair of total drama I have, if you hear the name Ezekiel a lot, get used to it:

Ezekiel x Harold:

This is one of my favorites, Yes, I was the previous Harzeke anon

Ezekiel x Duncan:

Opposites attract? Lemme consume all the art of it (I don't even like one of the characters here, but I still ship it)

Ezekiel x Justin:

Anyone here who shipped this before slimeysoda's au?

Ezekiel x Geoff:

It all started when I saw a funny looking piece of fanart, then I went down the rabbit hole, and now I ship it.

Ezekiel x Noah:

This can also be used to summarize most of the ships here, because I can

Ezekiel x Tyler:

The first guys who fell for Alejandro, you guys mainly all talk about "I like girls!" Meanwhile Ezekiel doesn't even deny it, just that "Wow eh..." IT FEELS LIKE I'M GRABBING AT STICKS TO SELF PROJECT- Wait, where am I? Or right, Ezekiel x Tyler, dumbass x dumbass

Ezekiel x Alejandro:

Same as above, just minus the Tyler specific part, and directed specifically at Alejandro.

Ezekiel x DJ:

They both love animals, and you can't rid that headcanon from me (on Ezekiel's side, DJ's love for animals is canon).

Ezekiel x Trent:

Ruined character gang.

Ezekiel x Eva:

Last one with Ezekiel, Ok? Anyways, this is the only straight Ezekiel ship I like, Lifts them like some grapes x some grapes, anyone?

Harold x Lightning:

Blame Totaldramarama for this, but you can't explain that "Your handso- I MEAN AWESOME!" Line, and the blush afterwards without at least a little bit of contemplating if that was a childhood crush representation.

Owen x Justin:

I'm starting to see a theme with kinda canon but not explicitly stated, Owen is a Bi-con and no one can change my mind.

Izzy x Eva:

It just works imo.

Katie x Sadie:

I eat up friends to lovers for diner

Raj x Wayne:

Same explanation as Katie x Sadie, just less annoying.

Wayne x Damien:

Himbo x Smarter, Gotta love that dynamic, also, enemies to lovers too! Well, I still feel like that whole enemy thing with Damien was meant to mean like Wayne doesn't see him as an enemy, instead he has one giant crush, but he doesn't wanna feel like he's copying Raj by having these feelings too, so he pretends it's an enemy thing.

Dave x Shawn:

I hate Dave with every inch of my body, but I accidentally fell into this rabbit hole, and now I ship it, trust me, this is the only Dave ship I have.

Alejandro x Tyler:

It's a great dynamic, but in the end, the video we shall not speak of messed it up.

Geoff x Brody:

I wanna see them marry all over again.

And that's all that I have that I'm not questioning the rare pair validity of, I have two more I'm questioning and I'll mention them here:

Gwourtney

Nowen

Thank you for listening to my rare pair list.

.

[peachyloveswriting]

Smol request for Damien and The Host {Seperate} Reader asking for comfort due to the anniversary of a loved one kinda sneaking up on them and they just aren't prepared mentally on the day? (fanfic/imagines or headcanons. up to you.)

ANNIVERSARY FOR DEATH --- (Host & Damien x reader)

SUMMARY: while visiting an old friend you realize that today is you sister's birthday, thing is, she passed away a few years ago and this year it hits you hard. But Damien is here to comfort you.

While at home cleaning the kitchen your phone buzzes with a reminder of your father's recent passing. Unexpected, you break down into tears. Host appears to help you.

CONTENT: angst, mentioned death, grief, soft Damien, Wilford content, host is baby, he protecc

TAGLIST: @batty-the-red-koolaid-man @abbzzzzz @dragonangel201 @crustydustycowboi @crazy-obsessed-enby

⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝

DAMIEN --- hurt/comfort

Today you're visiting the Iplier Manor. It's not a special occasion, just a simple visit to see Damien. It's been a while since you last saw him and you owed him a visit.

Walking up to the door you grab the handle and push it open. Thankfully you don't need to knock anymore. Everyone's known you for so long that they know when it's you coming in. Wilford is the first to greet you.

"It's about time you came to see us." He says as he twirls in front of your path. He's not wearing the bright pink wig he likes to wear on occasion, his hair is just combed gently in the top of his head while he's dressed in his shiny pink shirt.

You smile kindly and shut the door behind you. "I know it's been awhile. I've been busy and all." You explain as you begin to press further into the house with Wilford right on your trail. As you climb up the stairs Wilford speaks behind you.

"You're going to see him again aren't you?" Pausing on the steps you turn to look at him. There's a twinkle in his eyes as he smiles up at you.

"Yes. Is that so wrong?" You retort.

Wilford shakes his head. "No. Not at all. You just spend a lot of time with him."

You turn and shrug him off. "I'll hang out with you soon Will. I swear by it." He watches as you make your way down the hall before disappearing from sight. Reaching Damien's door and lifting you hand to knock you hear him call out.

"Come in dear. You know you don't have to knock." He says. Damien does this a lot. He knows what you're about to do or what you think without even realizing it. It's like a strange sense he has. You've come to enjoy it over the time you've known one another.

Grasping the door handle and twisting, you push the door open to reveal Damien sitting in the chair beside the window. His jet black hair is slicked back as usual and his suit is ironed out across his body. He sits with his hand under his chin and his eyes looking out over the mansion grounds. He seems contemplative.

"Hey." You hum as you walk over to his bed, closest to where he sits.

As you settle he finally looks over at you, his dark brown eyes softening as he smiles. "Hello dear." He purrs. It's a nickname you very quickly adopted a few months ago. All the Ego's have their own names for you but his is the most significant. "How have you been keeping?" He asks.

As you open your mouth to speak your phone buzzes against your leg. The alarm starts playing and you hastily fish it out of your pocket.

"I'm sorry." You mumble as you flip the screen over to read the words at the top of your screen. Watching you carefully, Damien notices your face falls as you dismiss it. He quirks a brow, curious, but stays quiet.

"I was fine." You finally say as you toss your phone down beside you. It was a reminder for your sister's birthday. She would have been eighteen today. Raising your hands to you face, you wide at your now wet eyes.

"I'm sorry, I just realized it's my sister's birthday today." You tell Damien. He leans forward with his elbows now resting on his knees.

"Why be upset about it?" His words only hurt you more, with the tears beginning to slip down your face. He doesn't know about it, you never said anything. Now just so happened to be the wrong time.

"She's not exactly...here." Looking up at him through blurry eyes you sniffle. "She passed away a few years ago."

The curiosity in Damien eyes fades and he frowns, sadness swirls in his eyes. Lifting his hand he reaches out to rest it on your knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Oh. Love. I'm so sorry." Standing from his chair Damien quickly settles next to you on the bed and pulls you into a hug. His hands rub your back to soothe you as your cry into his shoulder.

"Sh...it's okay. I'm here." He whispers as he moves a hand up to the back of your head, this thumb gently rubbing back and forth.

Pulling back with soaked cheeks and a red nose you look down to see a wet spot on his suit. Reaching for it you swipe at it with you hand. "I messed up your suit." You say shakily. Damien looks down to observe it before smiling sweetly.

"No worries, I have others. You can use is as a tissue for all I care. What ever makes you feel better."

Wiping the tears from your eyes you let out a small laugh. "I'm not going to blow my nose in it."

Damien rests his hands on your shoulders. "I know. But I'm getting my point across. Aren't I?"

You nod before pulling him into another hug. "I'm going to have to go buy her flowers and visit her soon. Can you come with me?" You ask.

Pulling back again, you sniffle. He nods softly, his hands grabbing yours. "Of course dear."

⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝

HOST --- hurt/comfort

Music plays from your TV as you move around the kitchen, wiping off counters and placing dirty dishes in the sink to be washed later. As you do this your phone begins to go off from it's spot in the livingroom. Confused, you make your way over to check the lit up screen.

As you come closer you can see that it's an alarm buzzing your phone. The words on the screen reads very clearly: 1 YEAR SINCE DAD PASSED.

Picking the phone up you stare at the screen your eyes burning as tears begin to well. Taking in a breath to keep composure, you crumble. Your tears spill over as ugly sobs leave your mouth, the thought of not even being able to say goodbye hits you hard and you hobble your way into the couch. As you reach it and shakily dismiss the alarm, you curl into yourself; your knees against your chest and your arms holding them tight.

At a really young age you mother divorced you father, custody battles were fought and eventually he won. Soon after he married your step mother, Miranda. She was sweet when he was around but she despised you for not being her own. Though she never treated you unjustly. After you moved out, she made everyone on your dad's side of the family cut contact with you, no one helped, called, or visited. Except for your dad.

He called you every night, sent you flowers on your birthday, and wrote you letters on the holidays. He was the only man you could love more than your boyfriend: Host. Now he was gone, passed away from stage four brain cancer.

It's all you can do to stop yourself from screaming. Screaming until your voice gives out.

⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝

At the Iplier Manor.

Strolling down the up stairs hallway towards the stairs, Wilford begins to hear a shout from the small library downstairs. Curious, he stalks down the steps. As he does the voice calling throughout becomes clearer. Someone's calling his name and they sound distressed.

Jogging at a light pace he pushes the door to the library open to find host hurrying towards him.

"Take me to her." He begs.

Wilford is confused. Host is babbling incoherently under his breath as he reaches out for him, his hand grasping his shirt sleeve. "Take you to who exactly?" Wilford asks.

Host mumbles under his breath before he finally speaks coherently again. "Y/n." He says. "Take me to her. Wilford's foggy mind clears once he realizes who the Host is talking about. He wonders why." His furious narration worries Wilford who gives in to the Host's request.

⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝

Minutes have passed yet nothing has eased your mind, the tears just keep coming. Every thought of him the crosses your mind sends you into a babbling mess. Knowing you're alone makes this worse, just the thought alone making you realize just how much of a sob story you really are.

Lowering you head and covering your eyes you sob into your hands. Suddenly, hurried footsteps pull you from yourself. Looking up you're tacked into a hug. Wilford frowns from where he stands in your kitchen before disappearing from sight. Mumbling in your ear is the familiar voice of Host. Precariously he sits beside you, holding you against his chest and you cry.

The hand on your back holds you in place while his other holds your hand, his thumb gently brushing over your cold knuckles.

His narration continues on above you as he comforts you. Not once does he offer words of reassurance or words of anything other than his slowing narration.

Turning your head to the side you gaze at his hand holding yours and sniffle. There's no need to ask Host how he knew you were upset, you already understood that. Hence why he didn't need to say anything to you once he arrived.

Taking a deep, Shakey breath you pull away from his grasp. Looking up at him you squeeze his hand. "She wants to say thank you but Host already knows this. He wishes to caress her face."

Smiling lightly, you lift his hand to your cheek. He's gentle as he wipes away your tears.

"I am sorry I was not here sooner my Love." He says. Leaning into his touch you close your eyes.

"It's okay. I didn't mean to make you rush. I would have been okay eventually. I'm just glad you're here now." Reopening your eyes you spot a glimmer of red falling from the fabric over his eyes. Frowning, you rub the blood away with your hand.

"You're bleeding again."

He sighs. "Worry about that later. Let's go buy him flowers."

ENDING NOTE ---

Honestly you can tell who my favorite is but I head cannon that Host talks two different ways depending on what's happening. Sometimes he'll talk in third person and others he'll talk normally, I love that idea.

[alister312]

Licking the Damstophe crumbs off the floor, do you happen to have any headcanons? 🥺👉👈

YES I DO..........

i think they met in the brief time that Christophe died bc Damien was left to deal with all the new souls since his dad was getting ready to go up to earth with Saddam

since Damien is always on the move and Christophe is home schooled, they don't really have a lot of people they're close to which forces a bit of a codependency friendship early on

one time Christophe couldn't see or talk to Damien for a day so he tried to tunnel down to hell. he got pretty far, considering it's impossible without demon powers

they get together pretty early on in their lives. like, while i picture gregstophe starting to date in more of a young adult part of their life, i think damstophe would be high school sweethearts? not a very "sweetheart" vibe but... you know

i talked more about it here but they are such menaces to society... there's nothing they love more than a good bar brawl or grand arson 🥰 ideal date night

Damien lighting Christophe's cigarette with a little tiny flame and Christophe letting him have a drag is how they say "I love you"

they do still say "I love you" for real sometimes but they prefer for things between them to go unspoken but still understood (they are kings of misunderstanding and miscommunication)

Damien calls Christophe "DeLorne" even after they get married and Christophe takes Damien's last name. he tries out pet names but none ever really stick and Christophe doesn't really like "Chris" or "Tophe" which are the only nicknames one can get from his name. on VERY rare occasions, he'll call Christophe by his first name but only ever if they're alone

Christophe usually just calls Damien by his first name, but sometimes he calls him "mon amour"

they eventually settle in hell bc Christophe winds up there fairly often anyway due to his line of mercenary work (Damien keeps reviving him and his enemies are scared and confused about how he keeps coming back)

the worst fight they had was from Damien taking Christophe to see the royal hellhounds as a surprise bc he thought it would be funny. Christophe nearly killed him.

and bc i love to be self indulgent, recently my favorite thing to doodle has been fankids, in particular Damien ones bc i love demonic-y designs and I can wave away them meeting w something something demon magic... and anyway, my damstophe kid Bia is absolutely the rudest of her half siblings but i love her very much so she is forgiven <3

of my favorite Damien ships, i just think he and Christophe would both adopt the attitude of "we don't give a shit about what you do" regarding their kid (both growing up hating their single parent but not having anyone else and so. complicated feelings lol). they care about Bia but together they're very bad at parenting 😅 any morals she has were taught to her by a desperate Kenny or Gregory wanting the next ruler of hell to not be a complete brat

[mr-laveau]

Mr. Laveau's Masterlist of Design Ethnicities (headcanons)

I recently had a chat with my friends about the inclusivity of my designs and that reminded me that I have not properly shared what my HC for each design is, so I'm doin that! As well as small headcanons!

*forewarning, I also have alt designs which are different ethnicities but that doesn't overtake from each one as I do switch between their uses. Also this will update as time goes on.

•Sam is Latino in his first design, he's Afro-latino in one of his alternate designs and his newer alternate design is Navajo because I was sent something by @autisticempathydaemon where Sam and Lovely are siblings and I'm committing to it.

•Darlin'/Darren (he/they) is Japanese-American while his first alt design, Daryl, is African-american (of caribbean descent) while a newer design will be Chinese-latino.

•Lasko is a mixed Asian-American (He's Japanese & Desi)

•Gavin is a incubus, yes, but he does present as a dark-skinned desi man in my head

•Avior is Vietnamese

•Milo is afro-italian

•FL/Fern (they/them) is Caribbean afro-hispanic (their dad is black, their mom is from Cuba but immigrated from Venezuela)

•Asher is Latino (C last name is Castillo)

•David is Bedouin Arab (both of his parents are immigrants from Egypt) - Additionally I fucked around in my headcanons and he shifts into a giant jackal instead of a wolf

•Vincent is of Sri-Lankan descent, I die on this hill

•William is a black man - He is from France but immigrated to New Orleans before moving to Dahlia

•Damien is Rroma/Rromani

• Caelum is black

•Sweetheart/Sadhil is desi-american (he/they) - Their parents are immigrants - they're very disconnected from their cultural roots outside of knowing how to cook dishes they picked up from his mom

•Lovely/Logan (they/them) is Navajo/Native American - they're an ex-foster kid who never got adopted fully and they don't know their parents cuz they were put in the system at an early age. Their alt design, Landon Vale (he/they) is mixed (afro-polynesian)

•Huxley is chinese-american

•Angel/Alex (he/she/they) is mixed African-American - I've also headcanoned them as Guy's older sibling!

•Baaabe/Avery(she/he) is Vietnamese-American - She's half-siblings w Ollie and rocks romantic goth fashion.

•Quinn is white - also had a weird situationship with Darren that in their mutually destructive relationship before they cut him off.

•Christian is white

•Bright Eyes/Bea Bright (she/they) is dark-skinned and African-American

•Fred is desi-latino because I say so, that's all I need to say

•Alexis is Persian - oddly enough and I've explained it to my peeps and I'm explaining it now because her being Persian is an active decision to make commentary in the way that I've written her versus how she's generally percieved and how quickly people are willing to throw WOC with flaws into the role of a villain

•Starlight/Sama Latif (they/them) is mixed Assyrian/Iraqi

• Geordi is mixed African-Caribbean and is of Garifuna descent

• Cutie/Cara Teller (she/they) is Afro-korean and that's for a good ass reason, because simply put, Asian dad trauma especially while being raised female

•Morgan is Afro-latino because I simply wanna make a "we don't talk about Bruno reference", I think it could be funny–I think

•Seer/Apollo Sanders (he/him) is mixed (mayan-indigenous/African-american) - Apollo's namesake also has the gift of prophecy and his last name, Sanders, is derivative from Seers's cat, Sandy from @castleaudios which is based on the oracle Cassandra that was cursed not to be believed...by Apollo.

Anyways, that's all for now, byeeeeee

[autisticempathydaemon]

I've never done something like this but wanted to give it a go!

-Fixated on Live Cinema by Ellie Williams. The last section of the song starting at "Oh the time stops / I look at you" to the end hits me hard, but especially the last few lines. "I've seen movies / I've watched cartoons / But / We've got an alternate ending"

-Enneagram Type 2

-I am quite the fan, yes~! I really loved Izzyzzz's Dark Pokémon Iceberg videos. I'm still a Pokémon novice so getting all this niche lore was fascinating

-I didn't have one </3

-Either ASMR Roleplay playing or simply thinking about my characters until I pass out /lh

-The full version of my chosen name stems from a character I related to prior to realizing I was autistic. I didn't understand that that was why I was connecting to him, but the character was what I needed at the time. The nickname from it is short and sweet and it's also fun watching people try to guess what it's short for

-Honestly, what I consider the three "Huxley/Damien" videos. The confession, them telling the rest of the DAMN squad, and the solstice video. They're easily one of my favorite pairings and seeing their relationship is just something that fucks me up every time /pos

-I hate to say it but I think I gotta go with Marcus. No shade but at most, I appreciate his contribution to Project Meridian's plot but nothing more </3 /lh

-Probably The Truman Show. Random as fuck, I know, but I watched it religiously for like a month to fall asleep a few years ago. (Or for something a little more recent, maybe Don't Hug Me I'm Scared?)

-Camelopardalis!

-Either my own characters or Redacted 95% of the time. The other 5% is stream of consciousness bullshiting /lh

-Gummy worms, chili cheese Fritos, and a fruit flavored soda of some kind

-Either my Romantic Mix or Moody Mix made by Spotify

-Probably Homestuck or Beastars. I'm not really embarrassed of either at this point because of how much I enjoy them, but people tend to react weird when I tell them I'm a genuine fan so /lh

-Uuuuuuuh my love language is quality time, I've attempted to learn 17 languages with varying degress of success, and Achilles Come Down is my favorite song of all time

I'm really interested in who you'll pair me with because I've got a few top picks! (Also love the energy you bring to this fandom <3 /pos)

Everything about you kind of screams Romantic™️. It’s not just the playlists you listen to but also being a Quality Time kind of person and being a Type 2. It also screams Perfect for David™️.

First things first, we love A4A (Autistic 4 Autistic), and the headcanon that David is autistic means the world to me. Parallel play with him would be fantastic- peace, calm, and David shifted because I can’t imagine there’s a better weighted blanket in the world than a werewolf.

I also think David would be the perfect person to infodump to (if you do that). He’d be a grump at first, like, “who the fuck is Red Guy, and why do we care so much about his fuckin dad”, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t watch every episode and every theory video with you. He hums “The Creativity Song” while doing chores because you legitimately got it in his head and because he likes the way you light up when he engages with your interests.

Song:

And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times/ It's you, it's you, you make me sing/ You're every line, you're every word, you're everything

This song is cheesy and sappy as all get out, and David has held you in the kitchen and danced as it played. (You have it on video, and David has sworn to make rue the day you ever share it /lh)

Runner-Ups:

So I also really liked Sam and Avior for you for different, respective reasons. I think Sam is a big romantic; like David, he just hides it. I get this curious, thoughtful vibe from you that I think Avior would really get along with. In the end, the autism won, and that’s how we celebrate autism acceptance month /pos

Note: I can’t wait to watch a dark Pokémon lore video I love icebergs explained! Jokes on all of you this was a long convoluted way to get video essay recs /j

Want a match-up of your own? Read this post, and tell me about yourself! 💌

[batarangsoundsdumb]

guess fucking what? my inbox is so fucking full right now i'm unloading all of this shit in one post.

For the 11th gotham memes: gothamites react to bruce being jacked in a tiktok he made with kids, like super yoked, ripped as hell

fucking hilarious thanks. i think i did it in one meme post, but i genuinely don't remember which one

i dunno which of the batfam would do this but one time i was sleeping over at a friends house and ended up on the floor bc the bed was so very small and i just stayed there because the rug was soft

that's a drunk jason move i don't know what to tell you

tim and jason are "i listen to pop punk" solidarity. whenever jason highjacks the batmobile theyll go on long ass car rides blaring mcr and paramore and then never talk about it again

as they should!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tim: no jason it's my turn using the aux cord i gotta put on my jams jason: don't you dare put on weird shit tim: don't worry, you're gonna love this *plays fearless (taylor's version)

hear me out hear me out, red hood stans 🤝 nightwing stans t h i g h s

holy shit yes.

SNL au: Bruce breaks character when pretending to superman and says something like "I'm not superman! You've seen his gps!! It's from 2001!!!" @sabeanybabe

superman flies past the snl building the next day just to say 'actually it's from 2005, i'm not a heathen'

does your back hurt from carrying the batfam fandom

it hurts more from the exotic rock collection i keep in my backpack, but thanks for the concern.

I love your posts by why would you always leave the best parts in the tags?

as a treat for the people that check the tags ;) (and also because i'm committed to the short post aesthetic)

somehow your playlist was everything i never knew i needed. i mean it. this is my new favorite playlist.

and don't you dare get a new favourite playlist!

babe ur stoner tim playlist is exactly too perfect, earth is literally blessed by ur existence

babe thanks so much! i love my stoner tim playlist because it's just my usual playlist but people think it's an artistic choice that i put taylor swift and britney spears in there, when it's just what i unironically like listening to

JANDKSKDK BILLY RAY CYRUS ON THE STONER TIM PLAYLIST I LOVE IT IT

again it's not even an ironic choice, i know every single word and i genuinely like the song

The last chapter of Fundamentals of Casework has me crying at work. Thanks I love it @dudelookitsalesbian

oh babe, i'm sorry, but also, not sorry i love chapter 4 so much it's my lovechild with the 'mental illness' tag

soooo....stumbled on your tumblr by some stroke of fate??? read your DC fanfic first. which is PHENOMENAL btw. then found all the batmemes; the funniest thing EVER bc everyone forgets about regular old gothamites. kept scrolling and your blog pops up as recommended. clicked on the ao3 for shits and giggles and waddaya know?!?!? it's YOU!!! you're LEGEND!!!! ever seen that meme? it's a video of a cat that got into a baseball field and the two announcers get really invested in his escape attempt and start giving a play by play of the cat instead of the game. memeable moment: "GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!"

i seriously think about this ask every single day and it's so fucking funny to me that i've never seen the meme you're referencing, but i still find myself going 'GREAT stuff from the Cat!!!' whenever i see something funny. but wow i'm glad you liked this steaming pile of garbage

Fav dc character overall? And fav batfamily character?

don't ask me to pick between the loves of my life, but i can tell you i've cried about every single batfamily member and also wally west (my beloved)

What's your opinion on fans having a problem with batfam being "too big"? And some even claim that batfam is just "Bruce Alfred Dick Damian" and the rest of them are just "friends and allies" (source: reddit) Personally, I like batfam because of this reason but idk

stupid. a family can never be too big. i'm not that big a fan of like huge batfam stuff with everybody from every single universe, because as much as it's funny for bruce to have like 30 kids, it just feels a little too OOC for me.

This is the best tag I've seen involving the batfam, thanks for thinking of it

This is canon now @nctxrejects

lmao yeah i think at that point alfred has had to sit through like at least a dozen coming out talks and just has a pride flag collection in the attic that he pulls out whenever a kid comes out

idk why batfam hits different as compared to any other superhero family

bc it's found family and usually the other superhero families are almost all genetically related in one way or another

I don't know if you watch the umbrella academy but I saw your last post about batcest and saw the similarities. But the thing is (although I think it's weird) in TUA, they addressed it by saying "they were raised as weapons, not siblings" or something along those lines, which is simply not the case with batfam.

yeah i watched tua but i also thought it was ridiculous and they still treated each other as siblings so i didn't like the luthor/allison thing, and am glad they stopped doing that shit bc it fucking sucked.

Hot take: Batcest shippers are the same people who believe adopted siblings are not actual siblings

smoking hot take: batcest shippers are the people who watch 'my sister got stuck in the washing machine' porn

Duke was adopted by Bruce?

not technically no, but do i, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb, look like i care?

True story but I had to change my freaking name because it used to be "Damien" and most people would go "OH LIKE DAMIAN WAYNE" like please I'm just tryna live

true story, but i don't actually think of damian when i hear the name damian, literally the first thing that pops up is damian darkh like bruh what?

apparently dc comics company supported comic stores by giving out new titles and stuff during the beginning of the pandemic to help them run and I just think that's wholesome

ah yeah that's so fucking cool, still don't like dc, the company, because this world is a capitalist hellhole and we're all owned by warner brothers or disney with no in between.

ayo looking at tumblr head canons and finding out bruce is actually a terrible father is a punch in the gut

lmao yes, in like 50% of comics bruce is a terrible father and it gives me whiplash

oooh I just saw the jason todd vs winter soldier post and the real question is: batman vs iron man

while iron man has like hundreds of cases of armor, batman could throw out an emp and have the guy dropping out of the sky in 2 seconds.

dickfast = fastdick = quickdick = quickie

magnum hot take

hey bata(?) just thought I'd let you know I have copied the obnoxious emoji and Billy Ray post for use on simping men going forth

thank you 😘🌷 (@spacebarsidecar)

why would you do that to your followers???? i get why i did it, but why would you???

what is scarecrow made the nightwing funko pop himself, like those diy-ers that paint over other ones

oh god no, horrible take, horrible take, that's a disgusting thought oh no

I see your HC that Bruce and Oliver fucked and raise you this: Dick and Roy ALSO fucked

yes they did and it was a horrible moment for jason to find out dick has fucked both of his best friends

"at this rate bruce adds like 1 child to his family every decade or so" Duke is introduced in 2013, Damian as Damian, not as an unnamed child, in 2006. And he is already 14 years old, Robins rarely remain Robins after 16 😬 It looks like a new Robin and Batkid will appear in a couple of years

i mean i can't wait? but somebody will probably die first tho, we're due for another major character death. my money's on either cass or duke this time.

BRO you're so right all of your Bruce's ex headcanons are amazing but they aren't ships, that's kinda wild. Like I don't want any peeks into how their relationship was I just want to see everyone make fun of them

lmao YES it's just i love bruce being a slut, like good for him.

I am in love with your posts your honour thank you

omg thanks are we like,, gonna kiss now?

The justice league needs to have a meeting to discuss how many of their members/partners have slept with bruce. Because through a combination of cannon & fannon (if DC wasn’t homophobic) we have AT LEAST: 1) clark 2) lois 3) oliver 4) dinah 5) john

Thats not counting villains or random civilians @dudelookitsalesbian

yes yes yes, they'll have a yearly meeting about how many of their collective exes could be out for revenge and batman's list just keeps getting longer.

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

and what about it?

when steph's fighting livewire and she zaps her with lighting and nothing happens and then they both just. stand there awkwardly for a second and talk. yeah i couldn't stop laughing at that batgirl steph is the BEST

oh yeah that was fucking hilarious and i think it would be so cool and sexy of dc to give steph a little comic series,,, as a treat

Hi I absolutely adore all of yours "Bruce and Oliver very badly pretending they didn't fuck each other" memes

lmao i do too

I need you to know that “Bruce Wayne had frosted tips” is one of my favorite Bruce takes of all time it’s so galaxy brained. you’re right and you should say it

he also painted his hair blonde once when he was travelling and in conclusion, this is why he's being blackmailed by the gotham gazette.

you know my thing about gordon being branded as the only good cop in gotham is its a load of shit like arguably he's a good person and not working to screw people over or anything but the fact that he also works w. batman makes him a shit cop. like yea batman is better than the mob but its still illegal its still an abuse of power he just not making bank

babe, all cops are bad cops. (but yeah youre absolutely right, working with vigilantes makes you a shit cop, but also working against vigilantes just makes you an asshole cop yanno?)

ruh roh i think i’m about to add “so not yeehaw” every time i don’t like something

that's a very good vocabulary upgrade

somehow i feel like steph already knew. like babs obviously knew but i feel like bruce got high/drunk in front of steph and started telling his boarding school stories and steph was just like “oh you fucked up i’m never gonna forget this”

steph and bruce have weird uncle/rebellious niece dynamic and they just hang out sometimes and bruce will be like 'i once broke my arm when i tripped over a hedge when i was drunk so oliver drove me to the hospital on an electric scooter' and steph will just have to sit there with that knowledge in her head.

Hello I just wanted to tell you you are So right in all your steph opinions bc she is, in fact amazing and I think that's very sexy of you. Ps. Your Bruce/Oliver fic is hilarious

babe, thank you so much and yes steph is amazing and i love her and she deserves the world and she's the best member of the batfam hands down. also thanks

In Supersons we see a couple of kids that are implied to be Damian and Jon's children and the boy has laser eyes and can fly, so I asume he's not adopted. The girl, who calls Bruce grandpa, can also fly, btw. So it's canon (probably by accident) that Jon can have kids and he must have married one of Bruce's kids. (I'm hoping for Damian, mostly because any other of his children would be waaaaaaaaaaaaay too old.) @artemisa97

lmao that was probably an accident seeing as jon is a 17 year old superhero in the year 3000 (by the jonas brothers)

You know, I'm a die hard fan of your memes, but I gotta say one thing: if Gothamites actually took gas mask everywhere with them, then the Scarecrow would just be a weird dude in a weird costume, and not a villain oh so scary. DC really should just takes notes from you.

bold of you to assume there's no gothamite anti-maskers

How does it feel being the funniest person on this app?

horrible, next question.

I can't listen to Green Day or Billy Joel without thinking of your post about how Bruce got arrested at a Billy Joel concert @nightwings-kid

yeah that's your mistake, i on the other hand can't enjoy billy joel without thinking about the glee rendition of 'uptown girl'

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

superman: so what do you do in your free time? batman, thinking about the superman fanfiction he's writing on the batcomputer: i have no free time

bruce and oliver be like boyfriends to co-workers 401k (do the justice leagues get 401ks??? not that bruce and ollie would need them, but-)

lmao yes just 400 thousand words of bruce realising 'oh dip oliver is such a fucking dumbass' (also i don't know what a 401 k is but i assume they don't?)

Gothamites would totally boo superman as he saves Gotham while batman is out. @meenje

he's like 'okay think about that next time you want to be saved from an alien octopus'

I just took long break from dc comics and I come back to see ric grayson ??

i think it's very cool and sexy of dc to see dick and just think 'you know what? let's just give him a traumatic brain injury' and then didn't develop his character in any real way

SPEAKING OF RIC GRAYSON, gothamites making confused memes out of ric grayson is much needed

'dick grayson is my taxi driver? can anyone explain what the fuck happened he looks like an italian plumber?'

i hate to say it but batfam are def "marvel characters" in that sense they are characters who are human but become superheroes unlike most dc characters who are gods trying to be human maybe this is why I like batfam

fair enough

[teddybasmanov]

Different lists and takes/headcaons

Redacted ASMR/Audio:

List of characters’ name meanings – all names have meanings and sometimes they make you cry and sometimes they make you scream (yes, I’m looking at you, James).

Redacted ASMR as my favourite musical theatre moments – exactly what it says, sometimes funny, sometimes sad. Has a link to a YouTube playlist and a Spotify playlist with all the named songs.

Lovely’s trauma – a little headcanon about what triggers Lovely and how they react.

Hamilton AU (kind of) - a little angsty au with songs.

Equinox - a little sappy headcanon and a lot of song lyrics.

TES IV: Oblivion AU - AU headcanons with pictures and unnecessary details. Arsenal is drawing it and it’s a dream come true.

Redacted ASMR characters fruit headcanons - their favourite or what I think would suit them. Last day of summer vibes.

Some Memes - a very cursed post. Good job, everyone.

Redacted Pinboard - huge and sections are titled with song lyrics (mostly). The choice of characters is not the most obvious. Contains some disturbing imagery in some sections so proceed with caution.

I can’t see in the dark - NSFW Invisiboi analysis (I wanted to flaunt my sex-ed knowledge). SFW version of why I’m down so bad for Regulus. I know him better than everyone else - and I’m yet again analysing Regulus, in the light of fan works.

Thoughts on D.A.M.N. threesomes - NSFW (without details) thoughts on dynamics.

You’re the only one not sleeping, silly - Winter Solstice with the D.A.M.N. polycule.

Is Starlight real? - angsty Avior/Starlight headcanon with a song on top.

Will he peel tangerines for you - a New Year headcanon because I can.

Secret Recipe - Milo/Sweetheart fluff one-shot for the 2021 Winter Gift Exchange.

Non-native English speaker listener headcanons - how will he react to your accent and mother tongue.

Redacted incorrect quotes but it’s Starkid - David surprisingly is not the guy who didn’t like musicals. 

Crochet things I’d make for Redacted characters (if I was actually good at crocheting) - a list + a Gavin bonus. 

What if Love is manipulating everyone? - strong AI at its worst. 

Dice Lasko bought that remind him of the D.A.M.N. polycule - forbidden candy, don’t eat dice.

Tiny headcanon for Gavin/Freelancer pre-wedding party - with a song, of course.

Redacted ASMR incorrect quotes Star Trek edition - I’m just assigning Sock’s lines to Damien and Avior.

Let Me Entertain You - a burlesque AU ficlet in which the freelancer flusters David.

Redacted characters with a foreign listener - another set of self-indulgent headcanons.

Musical movies I’d watch with Redacted characters - Teddy can’t shut up about musicals.

Incredibly OOC HC for right after Huxley’s introduction video - straight from October 2020.

How he reacts to tech/computer problems headcanons - inspired by my struggles with regional blocking.

Redacted characters nails/nailart headcanons - “demons have naturally yassified nails” (c) Mari.

Redacted cold weapons headcanons for characters and listeners - can you tell I’m very interested in weaponry. Brachium bonus.

Redacted ASMR Evil Dead incorrect quotes - I love you, Ashley Williams.

Redacted Mob!AU domesticity - with anachronistic aesthetic pictures. 

The freelancer manipulating Kody and ruinining his life as a treat.

Gavin dressing up his partners in every AU.

Gavin and the freelancer on a museum date.

Redacted ASMR couples who would do Vulcan Kisses.

Hollow_VA:

We’re Choosing, We’re Being Chosen - angsty (slightly whumpy) headcanon for Pharos’ first listener.

I know Those Eyes - angsty headcanon for Pharos’s listener but now we’re talking season two.

You bite the feeding hand And it will crush you where you stand - how I think the Hollow_VA spymaster story should have ended.

Why am I so unhappy, Pharos got a new listener in the second season.

Hollow_va playlists in proper order.  

Jim ち ASMR:

Jim ち ASMR Spy ASMR sotryline fully retold as I see it (plus a few Felix headcanons and a tiny playlist).

Felix and Agent A back home after the iron curtain is up.

“No Felix“ AU with songs from “36 Questions“.

Huge Commissar Elrick headcanon, because I’m too lazy to write the full fic.

Lily of the valley, snow-white lily of the valley - Dimi/Malenkee nightmare comfort.

Nomads Tales and Audios:

Yes, my King - some thoughts on Nomads Tales & Audios' yandere villain storyline (I like it a lot).

Nomad’s Tales & Audios Villain Husband taking care of an ill spouse.

Other:

Thoughts on Xanthus’s bond with his listener - do look in the replies.  

Bits and pieces for Grinningpup: Orc/Elven Prince, Warlord/Prince bit one and and bit two (actually for the third part of the series), Omega Orc/Alpha Human Knight.

ThickDickEnergy fic rec – incredible author, writes for “Hollow_VA”, “Siren’s Son ASMR” and many other fandoms, as well as original works. All the links in the post.

“About Coffee” by Max Frai - I translated a lovely little (and significant in my opinion) text.

Big Recommendation Lists:

List of ASMRtists I follow and/or watch at least semi-regularly – yes, it has more than 90 names. Yes, Redacted is the first one. With little descriptions and tags (for whom do they make audios).

Alien ASMR recommendations - exactly what it says, because I want to be more of those.

[watanabes-cum-dump]

Ash - Imperator

@husbando-collector-sanctuary​ basically reminded me that I didn’t make a proper profile for Ash (or proper art for that matter, all I have is reference sheet as of now) and thus I will cover one thing and that is a dedicated profile 

Name: Ash Rosas

Age: 21

Ethnicity: Japanese/Filipino Jalepino

Gender: assigned male at birth 

Height: 5′2 (without heels) 

Weight: *redacted for the sake of Ash’s ego*

Occupation: Commandant of Gray Raven 

.

.

Ash Rosas’ earliest memory was of their father. Damien Rosas had held his small child and uttered the three words that have always meant the world to Ash "I love you" 

Of course, they loved their father too. Ash's mother was nowhere to be found. The white haired baby was left on their father's doorstep, with a note from their mother saying that she didn't want them, that she couldn't take care of them, and that she hated Damien. Whatever, Ash loved their father. No hateful absentee mother was going to change that. 

Life wasn't easy for Ash. Their father was in the military, and the war against the corrupted kept Damien away from home for days even weeks and months on end. Until one day that all came to a stop, when Damien never returned home to his child. 

Instead, a tall man dressed in a suit had come by Ash's house, bearing a letter from their father and a ticket to Babylonia. 

"Ash, my little angel. I need you to pack whatever you can and listen to Mr. Nikola. He will take care of you until we can be together again, ok?" the letter read. 

Not one to question their father, Ash packed clothes and whatever other little trinket they could fit in the bags and followed Nikola. Ash boarded a ship and would not return to the decaying Earth for quite some time. 

Life on Babylonia wasn't terrible, but the changes were large. For one, Damien became a construct after nearly losing his life, and rarely saw his son. Nikola looked after Ash most of the time, and while he was kind, Ash could never be very comfortable around him. It was just like that for a few years, homeschooling, Nikola looking after them, and the occasional but very welcome visits from Damien. But that peace wouldn't last forever. 

Damien was to be deployed on a long mission to Earth, and would return on Ash's fifteenth birthday. That was the promise Damien left Ash with. That was the promise Ash held onto for nearly a month. 

But then Ash's birthday came, and all they got was word of their father's death and Damien's dog tags. 

Despite this, Ash remained the upbeat and kind person they had always been. Albeit they tended to stare off into space a lot more. Ash knew that they were loved, and that was enough for them to keep going on. 

Ash started studying to become a commandant long before military training. They had all the resources they needed as they were under Nikola's care. And sure enough it payed off, because Ash was fresh out of military training when they were appointed to lead team Gray Raven. 

Ash still honours their father by wearing his dog tag along with their own, believing that perhaps in a way Damien will be able to see the war end through them. 

Headcanons

- Within the two years as a commandant, Ash has studied their father’s fighting style from when he was an operating construct and can replicate it rather well. That is why Ash carries a rapier and shield instead of the usual short sword and gun

- Ash’s cape is actually made from the same fibres as Lucia’s hair, meaning that it is extremely durable and can withstand gunfire. They still feel the impact but it doesn’t kill them

- Ash is usually very bubbly and open, but when they need to, they can be extremely intimidating and assertive. The constructs think Ash’s resemblance to Nikola in this state is uncanny 

- Rather flirtatious at times, especially when they’re drunk 

- Pansexual, it causes quite a few headaches for the constructs especially when someone pretty catches Ash’s eye...

- Popular with children due to the many stories they have to tell

- Speaks fluent Tagalog and English, bilingual problems ensue but Kamui knows shit is real when they mention Jollibee 

- “Listen guys if we can complete this mission without Lee and Kamui arguing ako treat na sayo sa Jollibee” (plz excuse my shitty Tagalog lmao) 

“Can we get the ube pies?” 

“Yes, Kamui, we can get ube pies” 

- Nothing short of irresponsible, will egg on Lee and Kamui while they fight and will only intervene if it escalates too far (a.k.a when Lee’s guns get involved, Kamui’s sword is fair game because Lee can dodge) 

- Reckless stunts while fighting the corrupted, a most common thing to hear when collaborating with team Gray Raven is this: 

“COMMANDANT NO!” 

“Commandant yes!” 

- It has gotten them injured but they’re not dead... yet 

[first-and-last-neocount]

Whumptober Day 5

Aaaand here we are, second offering in the Escape!AU, though this is... third I think?... if we’re going by internal chronology of what I’ve got so far. I’m not even going to try to track that as we go, though, because of the whole still-adding-more-as-I-go-along thing. I’ll figure that shit out when the AO3 post gets made, lol. 

Have some EVEN MORE FEELINGS realization, friends! And also some sad, because y’know, Whumptober. 

With the rest of Damien’s family being pagan, I also had this headcanon that his relationship with them was pretty well trashed after he joined the Church, and that the Matriarch of Ganji had kind of... honorarily adopted him, and that they were still super close, and that’s why she backed him so firmly against the Patriarch’s bullshit. Having that headcanon, though, made me wonder - what must she have thought, when she heard about certain developmens?

Day 5 - Theme Chosen: Betrayal

Damien eyed the pile of letters with some trepidation. He had only meant to grab a few belongings from his rented room in Jaggonath before abandoning it permanently – the world needed to believe that he and Gerald had perished at Mount Shaitan, so he couldn't exactly tell the landlord that he wasn't coming back, but he'd wanted to pick up a few of the items he'd brought with him across the Dividers before he and Gerald left the city for good. He hadn't expected a pile of letters to be laying on the front hall rug, having clearly accumulated during the journey to Shaitan and back.

Gerald was currently at Alesha Huyding's house, convincing the woman to let them take the rest of Senzei's journals on the Iezu for their own project. They were supposed to meet at Karril's temple in less than an hour; Damien definitely didn't have time to read these all. He scooped the pile off the floor and started flipping through them quickly, discarding the majority of them at a glance. Most of them were notes from his fellow clergy members at the Jaggonath Cathedral, wondering where he'd disappeared to; there were a few unpaid bills from local merchants, and one heavy linen envelope with a golden seal that he knew must be his official notice of excommunication. The sight of it made his chest ache, but it was nothing compared to the shock that ran through him at the last letter.

The envelope from the very bottom of the stack was also fine quality, though it lacked the ostentatious gold seal, instead being tied shut with a red ribbon. Even at a glance, though, Damien recognized the delicate hand that had traced out the address of the Jaggonath Cathedral – it seemed the letter had gone there first, and been redirected to his temporary apartment when the messenger learned that Damien was no longer employed by the Church.

The letter was from the Matriarch of the Cathedral in Ganji-on-the-Cliffs.

Guilt pooled in his chest like icy water, and Damien cursed softly. Stuffing the two Church envelopes in his jacket pocket, he left the rest of the letters on the kitchen table and went to gather what he'd come for in the first place. There would be time enough later to deal with the two he'd kept; neither of them, he suspected, were going to be an easy read.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He ended up putting off looking at the letters for a few days. Between gathering everything they would need to get them to another city, and tying up any loose ends they'd left behind, he actually managed to more or less forget about the envelopes tucked away in his pocket. Gerald had decided that their best bet was to head back northeast, retracing their steps yet again to get some distance from Jaggonath now that they had what they needed from the city; Damien wasn't any more keen on running into any familiar faces than the adept was, and agreed that it was probably the safest plan. Ensuring that they remained anonymous was enough to keep his mind occupied on the road, and it wasn't until they stopped at a dae three nights later that he remembered.

They'd both had their fill of sleeping on the unforgiving ground as winter crept closer again, and when the dae had come into view, they had agreed with only a glance that they could afford the minor risk  of dealing with the residents if it meant getting to sleep in proper beds for a night. Damien negotiated for their rooms while Gerald saw that the horses were stabled comfortably, and they met up in the common room of the dae, at a small table in the corner farthest from the light of the fire. As they sat down, though, Damien made to tuck the room key into his pocket – and his fingers brushed the envelopes still tucked into his jacket.

Either his face had shown his dismay or Gerald had felt it through their link, because the adept turned to look at him immediately, grey eyes narrowed in concern.

“What's wrong?”

“It's nothing urgent, just...” Damien pulled the letters out, feeling dread settle into his gut like a stone. “There were some letters that had been slipped under my apartment door, when I went back to get my things. Most of them weren't important, but I kept these two. I meant to look at them later that day, but – I forgot.”

Gerald's gaze fell on the golden seal of the Cathedral on the top one, and Damien heard his sudden, sharp breath. The former Knight's mouth twisted in a bitter half-smile.

“Yeah, I think we both know what that one is. This one, though...”

He pulled the other envelope out and set it on top, his heart in his throat. Gerald frowned at it, then glanced up at him.

“Who is this one from?”

“The Matriarch. In Ganji,” Damien whispered. “I wrote to her when we were sailing back from the Eastern Continent, telling her everything that had happened. The Master of Lema, what we'd discovered about the rakh, the Undying Prince... you.”

The adept went very still. He was rather like a hunting hawk in that way, a distant part of Damien's mind observed; when they laid eyes on their prey, such birds would freeze, in a manner that could look almost like a prey response itself unless one knew what to look for. In reality, the bird was preparing for the swift, sure, devastating movement of an attack – but the only warning you would get was that unnatural stillness.

“This is her response.” The soft words weren't a question. Damien sighed deeply, rolling his shoulders back in a fruitless attempt to shed some of the tension.

“Yes. And probably more, given that I'm fairly sure the Patriarch wrote to her as well – she likely knows by now that I've been thrown out of the Order, even if she hasn't yet heard about our... tragic demises.” He looked up and forced himself to meet Gerald's gaze steadily, feeling the prickling anticipation through the bond, the chill creeping over his skin. When he spoke, he kept his voice very low, not wanting to speak too loudly even though Gerald had put up a Warding when they sat down that would keep anyone from eavesdropping on them.

“I know you're hungry. Take what you need. This is going to be miserable for me either way.”

Gerald's eyes flashed, but the adept only inclined his head slightly, a silent gratitude. Damien swallowed against the lump that had formed in his throat, then reached with shaking hands to untie the ribbon and unfold the letter.

My dear son,

I hope you will forgive my informality. I know that, as the Holy Mother, I ought to have worded this more properly – but at the moment, I care nothing for propriety, so long as I can reach you.

Your letters have given me enough nightmares for a lifetime. This demon that conspires to corrupt our world, Calesta, is all that the Church most dreads; not a passive evil, but an all too active one, darkening the minds of men and swaying them to its nefarious cause. I was horror-struck to learn of the men and women that willingly served it, and what it plans for our world, but those concerns too have paled in comparison to the chill that fell over me when I read what you had written of our fallen Prophet.

Damien. If ever you felt, as I did, that our bond was that of true family – that you were my son in more than the titles that the Church proscribes, that I cared for you as I would have for a child of my flesh – then I beg of you, in the name of that bond... turn aside. I do not need it written out to know that you hope to save Gerald Tarrant, to redeem him from his dark deeds and guide him back into the light of God. I cannot stress enough how much I fear for you if you pursue such a path. There are some choices that a man cannot make without altering who he is forever, and some roads are too dark to retrace one's steps. You cannot save him. God's greatest gift is forgiveness, but a man such as that will not accept it, for to do so he would have to admit that his deeds require forgiveness – to admit that he has become a monster, and repent of what he has done. A man like Gerald Tarrant can never do that.

If you try to save him, I am certain that he will poison you. Slowly, no doubt, and subtly, for to have survived all that he has the Hunter must be a devious creature indeed – but inexorably, and perhaps, irrevocably. I know you, Damien, and your greatest strength is also your greatest weakness; your incredible determination. It has carried you through so much adversity, and it held you to our faith and cause when your family would have dragged you away... but I fear that it will also keep you from recognizing when you are outmatched, and hold you to your resolve to alter his nature, even as his corruption takes hold. If you are focused only on his redemption, you may not see what is happening until it is too late.

Please come home, Damien. I know it goes against everything we preach, but this once, I reach out to you and speak not as the Holy Mother, but simply as a mother. Come home. Let another fight this war; let the Hunter carry this burden alone, if you truly believe he wishes to make amends. We are all of us sworn to give our lives for the Church, but I beg of you, not like this.

Come home.

With all my love and prayers,

Carla

No title. No Holy Mother. Not her regnal name, Aelia II. Just her given name, as a mother might sign a desperate letter to her son.

Damien didn't know when he'd started to cry, but his eyes burned by the time he reached the end; his cheeks were wet, and his chest ached from staying quiet, even as his whole body shook with silent sobs. He dropped the letter on the table and pressed his hands over his face, past caring if his distress was obvious. No one else in the room was going to notice anything with the Obscuring still in place, and it wasn't as if Gerald needed the visual cues to know that he was upset – with the way he felt, in that moment, the grief and guilt had to be flooding out of him like blood from an arterial wound, staining the fae around him black and crimson.

He'd known, since the night he braved Hell itself to bring the Hunter back, that he was turning his back on everything he'd ever cared for. Not merely his faith, intangible as it was, but also his home, his friends, and his family.

Perhaps his parents and brother would not have disowned him for the choices he had made on this quest – but it was years too late for that to matter, after the way they had fallen out when Damien chose to join the Church. The faith of the One God had forced Damien to distance himself from their aggressively pagan lifestyle, and they had seen his choice as a betrayal, a self-righteous attack on their way of life instead of the deeply personal calling Damien had felt it to be. The only thing that had gotten him through that loss and upheaval had been the support of a woman who, at the time, was just another priestess at the Ganji Cathedral. Mother Carla had been his bedrock of support, his sponsor in the seminary and a gentle voice of reassurance whenever Damien felt himself faltering; by the time Damien was Knighted, she had ascended to the Holy Mother's seat as Matriarch Aelia II, and their bond had been unshakable. It had been Carla who recommended Damien for the experimental program teaching young Workers in Jaggonath, who had seen him off with a warm smile and the assertion that she knew he would do well, and that he would return to Ganji-on-the-Cliffs having shaped a whole generation of new minds.

And Damien had betrayed her.

It wasn't what he meant to do, but what did intent matter when measured against the cold facts of the outcome? He had betrayed the faith they held in common by choosing to forgive the Hunter's centuries of crimes; he had betrayed the Church they both served by thwarting Andrys's attempt at vengeance and helping Gerald elude the Crusade; he had betrayed the personal trust she had placed in him by deserting his duty and turning his back on the very principles that he himself had once preached to the Church's young followers. She had sent him east to further the vision of the Church, and instead he had struck it one of the most staggering blows it had suffered in centuries. She had reached out to him in compassion and love, ready to absolve him of every responsibility if he only turned back... but even if the letter had reached him in time, Damien knew in his heart that it still wouldn't have altered his course.

That, surely, was the bitterest betrayal of all – the knowledge that seared through him and left him shaking and cold and sick. That letter hadn't said anything that he hadn't already, on some level, known; he had held all those arguments with himself a thousand times, those long lonely nights on the road to Mount Shaitan. He had recognized the risk that his own stubbornness was blinding him, recognized that his judgement and morals were compromised, recognized that he was nearing the point of no return. Even with all of that, though, when the moment of choice had come – he hadn't even hesitated. He'd seen the murderous rage in Andrys Tarrant's eyes, known that it was the reckoning for all of Gerald's sins, and he'd still stepped in front of the bolt.

He might not have surfaced from that yawning abyss of despair for a long time, if not for the gentle sensation that ran along the link between himself and Gerald. Unlike the assertive, even imperious force that Damien was used to from the Hunter's power, this was softer, almost inquisitive; a coaxing tug, instead of a firm push. He was still too badly shaken to muster any kind of coherent response within his mind, and a moment later, he felt an equally gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Damien.”

With an effort, the former Knight swallowed back the sounds of pain he wouldn't allow himself to make and lifted his head, blinking through tears at his companion. Gerald had shifted his chair and was sitting close by his side now, one hand raised for that steadying grip on his shoulder, and the look on the adept's face took what little breath Damien had regained away; genuine concern, traces of sorrow and guilt – unmistakable compassion, raw and unpractised and honest. A more human expression than the Hunter's face had worn in centuries, one that no one else would even have believed him capable of.

Damien realized, quite suddenly, that his heart was beating so forcefully that it might have been trying to break free of his ribcage.

He heard himself speak, without consciously deciding to do so.

“I wouldn't change it. Even if I knew, if I could go back and do it again, I wouldn't choose any differently.”

Gerald's grip tightened on his shoulder, and for a moment he just held Damien's gaze, silent. Damien could see the thoughts racing behind his quicksilver eyes, and even with the link, he couldn't read them all – but suddenly he knew, with a certainty so firm that it had to be resonating through the link, that someday he would be able to. They'd been operating on the unspoken understanding that Damien would be helping Gerald fulfill his new goal of establishing proper communication with the Mother of the Iezu, and that their work would keep them together for some time yet, but in that moment Damien knew that it was more than that. He hadn't just chosen betrayal for its own sake, in that moment in the Hunter's Keep; he'd chosen Gerald, and that choice was always going to be there, just like the link that hummed between their souls. They were walking the same path now, and wherever it lead, they would be treading it side by side.

Finally, Gerald spoke, his voice soft but ever so steady; the unwavering voice of a man who had stared Death in the face, and made it bow to him.

“I don't know that I can ever find a way to repay you for that... but I swear, on my life, that I will never make you regret it.”

Damien reached up and took the hand that had gripped his shoulder in his own, lacing their fingers together, the Hunter's once-chill hand now almost warm against his own.

“That's good enough for me.”

[bigfan-fanfic]

Menagerie (Batdad Headcanons)

Requested by Anonymous for “ Did you know damien has a pet cow... how about batdad reacting to all batfamily pets. P.S. you might want to google all of the pets because i can't remember how many they have😅 “

Note: There are a lot of pets mentioned, but many of them only exist in alternate continuities, so I’m going to stick with the three main ones: Titus the Dog, Pennyworth the Cat, and Bat-Cow.

“Damian... we are not running an animal sanctuary.”

Now, one might not think three pets is a lot.

Most people don’t have a family full of vigilantes.

Now, what with Barry messing around with timelines and people who shall remain nameless punching through reality, sometimes there are more, sometimes fewer. 

Generally, though, you only have one dog, sometimes two.

And there is a cat.

And several bats which Bruce insists don’t count.

And a cow.

Bruce can’t say no to Damian when it comes to animals, so you’re the one who has to put your foot down.

“But Papaaaaaaaa!”

“I said no, Dami. As much as Jason might want me to get my head bitten off by Bat-Tiger, no.”

“....fiiiiii-iiii-iiiii-ne.”

Ace/Titus the Bat-Hound

Now, in some universes, you’ve had Ace longer than Damian’s been alive. Ace was there for you in the early days when Bruce first brought him home. 

Ace is a good boy.

And a licensed support animal

But then Damian comes around and renames him and claims your dog as his own. Your dog - the only thing in this world you might love more than your family.

You and Damian share Ace between you. Although Bruce is deeply grateful that Ace tends to sleep in Damian’s room - if you end up going to bed before Bruce gets home, Ace would usually curl up next to you in Bruce’s spot and growl if Bruce tried to move him.

In other universes, Titus is adopted specifically for Damian. In any case, the Bat-Hound adores you over all other members of the family. This drives Damian crazy.

Ever seen Frasier? Basically Eddie from Frasier, but an enormous dog.

Ace/Titus thinks he’s a teacup poodle, though. Many a time he’s plopped his heavy self in someone’s lap and expected to be petted.

In some universes both Titus and Ace exist, in which case both dogs beg for your attention, Damian is driven doubly nuts, and Bruce gets Damian to have both dogs sleep in his room.

Pennyworth the Cat

A dog is already a full-time deal.

So you were iffy when Damian appeared with a mangy-looking feline.

“Damian...”

“His name is Pennyworth, and I love him.” Damian said firmly.

It was so adorable that you couldn’t say no.

So you said yes.

Bruce teases you about not being able to say no.

You glare at him until Damian asks you to go to the pet store with him and you sigh.

And then you and Damian went and picked out a bed and litter box and scratching toys and you made an appointment to declaw Pennyworth because there are too many priceless artifacts in this house, Damian, and I’m not going to have it scratch everything!

“Him, Papa, him.”

You resolve that this is the last pet.

Bat-Cow

This time you walked into the Batcave and there she was - all 850 pounds of her. 

“Papa...” Damian shoots the puppy-dog eyes at you. You know it’s an act - Damian can only do the puppy eyes when he wants something.

You stand firm with the response parents have been using for years. “Go ask your father.”

Because Bruce got sooooo on your case last time when you let him keep Pennyworth, so if he wants to deny it, he can.

Your heart sinks when you hear a “Yes! Thank you, Father! You won’t regret this!”

Bruce and Damian come up to see you staring glumly at the newly-christened Batcow.

You glare at Damian. “Damian, you understand that cows... they’re an even bigger responsibility than dogs or cats, right?”

Damian smirks at you. “TT, Papa, I know. But we have plenty of grass on the grounds for her to graze on, and we could always use some more compost material.”

You consider putting in a call to Clark’s parents to see if they’d take in a new cow, but probably not.

So you make Damian shovel the... you know. And he doesn’t complain. He even makes a little garden using the compost to balance out the methane from Batcow’s... emissions.

But you refuse any further animal intrusions. Batpig, Batmonkey, (you swear Damian has been discussing names with Bruce) and particularly Bat-Tiger are all swiftly sent to the most reliable animal sanctuaries.

Besides, other than dealing with the Bat-Hound(s), the Batcat, and Batcow, there are a large number of actual bats that you and Alfred have to keep fed and healthy for when Bruce wants a particularly flashy entrance.

[gottawriteanegoortwo]

Wouldn't that mean Dilliam would have backlash to? oof, when it comes to Celine, Damien's always second rate huh?

Ding ding ding!

You got it in one, anon!

It’s one of the reasons Dilliam wouldn’t be a thing until after Damien is Mayor. By then (in my headcanon), Celine and Mark have been married for a few years. William has had time to lament over his lost love with Celine and realise he had loved Damien for just as long.

But even when they are together, it’s not always smooth sailing...

--

“Do you love me?”

A simple question to break the silence of Damien tidying some notes away from his home office. It had been a long week, and the toll of that could be seen in the shadows under his eyes and the way his posture was not as straight and perfect as it normally was.

“Of course I do.” William’s answer was immediate as he helped gather some of the legal studies book to return to their shelf. “Did something happen to make you question that?” The solider’s movements slowed to a halt when there was no response, and he called his lover’s name to snap him back to the present. When his attention shifted to Damien, it was clear that something was weighing on his shoulders.

“Yes. We did. We ‘happened’, Will.” As Damien spoke, his eyes were on the pages in his hands like he was fearful to turn to his beloved. “All of this ever happened because Celine married Mark. You had told me you liked her when we were teenagers, yet you settle for me when she isn’t available. You knew for years I wasn’t attracted to women so... What did I do wrong?” He blinked firmly to try and stop the tears bubbling up. “If you loved me like you say you do, why did you not do anything before this? Is it acceptable for you to choose me when the preferred twin isn’t available anymore? Is -”

Damien’s hands were covered by William’s once the pages were put back on the desk. It was only once the politician looked up could William see how hurt Damien was by this. How long had this been plaguing Damien for?

“Dames... I never chose to do any of this intentionally, and I’m sorry that it seems that way to you. I’d never hurt you by choice. You know that.” Both thumbs began stroking the soft, warm hands under his. With how gentle William was, it was easy to forget that he was such a loud, rambunctious soldier. “You’ve seen how the world is. A man and a woman are the ones that should wed. That’s the way it’s always shown. I didn’t know I could fall in love with men because I never realised it was another option. Yes, I knew you weren’t attracted to women, but I’ve known senior officers who never had a wife or a ladyfriend of any sort. For years, I thought you wanted to focus on your work like they had.”

“Even though I had mentioned about wanting a family?” Damien argued. He could feel the familiar frustration started to bubble, but a gentle squeeze of both hands caught him before he could surrender to it.

“I wish I’d known sooner. I wish I’d known that I was always so protective of you because I loved you, and not for any other reason I tried to tell myself. You have to understand, Damien... I am not ‘settling’ for you as some ‘second choice’. I love you, and I wouldn’t want it any other way. You always tell people not to judge others on past mistakes, so why do you find it so hard to believe me?” William was not surprised to find his question lingering in the air for several moments. It was a difficult topic for Damien, and the Colonel could almost predict what the answer would be:

“Celine was always the preferred twin.” It was a confession given in a low voice. “Everything we ever did, Celine would excel better than I would. The only reason I thrived in certain areas was because she wasn’t interested in them, nothing more.” Aside from her temper, Damien was sure his sister had no flaws.

“I prefer you, Damien. I have for a very long time.” When Damien tried to object, William quickly spoke over him. “Why, I do happen to remember one day you and Celine crashed your bicycles while racing with Mark around the gardens of his parent’s house. I would bet my hat that I rushed over to you to gather you and your bicycle so myself and my father could fix you both, leaving Celine and Mark alone. Do you remember? I even helped you pump your wheel back up since you couldn’t get the knack of it.”  At last, there was the faintest hint of a smile, and it was enough to bolster William. He lifted the hands so he could kiss Damien’s hands. “If I’d known when we were growing up that I could have asked for your hand for a dance, or if I could ask permission for a kiss, I would have. I promise you... I would have, and I’ll make up for lost time every single day if you let me.” Strangely, that made Damien withdraw. He pulled his hands free and took a step back.

“Dames, please... I’m sorry. Truly, I am. But I’m not ‘settling’ for anything less than ‘perfect’ because you’re the only one I want.”

“What if Celine and Mark were to divorce tomorrow? What if she came here saying she made a mistake and it was you she loved?”

“Then I’d tell her I can’t be much help because a Mayor stole my heart in a magnificent political scandal that was unearthed thanks to some alcohol and a mistaken identity. I’m sure she’d understand.” William took a step forward to take one of Damien’s hands. This time, there was no resistance as fingers interlocked. “You have every right to let this upset you. Being overseas made me realise what mattered most in my life. You were top of that list. Please believe me when I say I would never choose her over you. I love you. Don’t push me away because of fear, please...”

There was no response. Instead, Damien threw himself into the arms of the man he loved. William’s arms quickly wrapped around the Mayor, keeping him close in a tight embrace. Once quiet murmurs of “I love you” were exchanged, the room fell into silence as both men held onto the other with the fear that the other might disappear without warning.

[alister312]

what would you say is the most popular fan last name for gregory is right now? i've seen an explination for "tveit" being used but i wanted to kmow if u knew any others (since you are the tumblr resident gregory fan)

tumblr resident gregory fan huh 👀 that is quite the title to live up to...

i'll be honest though, i don't know what the current most popular fandom last name for gregory is! i ran a poll asking people a bit ago what their preferred one was and "yardale" won, but i think it was because, as the poll says, yardale is the funniest option.

the lasting impact of hellpark on gregory as a character has made "bellarose" fairly popular, if only due to the sheer amount of content. "thorne" used to be the go-to in ye olden fandom days (more on that here) but i think since damien's last name was confirmed to be "thorn", that has fallen out of popularity. i personally use "sinclair" because i feel it suits him and it's a nod/homage to an incredible fic called Lex Talionis in which gregory's last name is "st. clair". a few other older fics over on ffn also used that last name also as a reference to Lex Talionis.

some others that stick out to me are "fields" and "frost". i don't quite remember where i saw "gregory fields", but i do remember liking it because of the sort of rural simplicity of a field juxtaposed with gregory, who is absolutely not those vibes. "frost" of course comes from The Well and the Lighthouse, my all time favorite fic. the author effingbirds used "winters" in her other major gregstophe fic (The Fight) so i suppose she had kind of a last name theme going for gregory rather than a solid headcanon.

and lastly i know there's some people out there who have headcanons about gregory being related to other sp characters and so have his last name dictated by that idea— most notably @/lunchiemunchiess's headcanon of gregory and gary being cousins (so last name "harrison") and @/advisinghat56's headcanon of gregory and estella being twins but gregory's last name being "compeyson" based on some Great Expectations lore

[id-never-letyoudown]

A Muse List

Wilford Warfstache: reality warping semi-madman. He goes through time and just rolls with the punches. Knows at least a dozen alternate versions of the same person. Makes multiverse ships technically canon. Sometimes he forgets which timeline he's in and acts like a kid who fell asleep in the car and woke up in bed. Kinda OP, but I I'll discuss anything big with the other mun beforehand. For now it's just small stuff. -tagged: pink stache whiplash

Dark: literally watch Damien. Only this Damien had ties to the mafia, which Celine was heavily against. Also Damien and Will had a romantic relationship, highschool sweethearts, promise ring. Then Damien started running for mayor, Wil met Celine, feels were had. (ps: he's got both sets of genitalia, cuz everyone forgets.) -tagged: 3d dream

Fordwil Stachewarf: started as a joke of a bizarro!Wil and now, welp, here he is. He's a manipulative green haired asshole. A creep. He does not "roll with the punches", if one version of you likes him then he will expect all of them to, and he will take. Stuff with him can get hella triggery so I don't use him often. He's a total hardass. -tagged: green jerk

Chase: ha, an average bro. Trickshots. Memes. Bad puns and scraped knees. Anxiety ridden and depressed. Tries to drink away the pain. Also he's a werewolf and used to have hella bad anger issues, they have gotten better, but when it's that time of the month it's easy for him to slip. -tagged: sad awoo

Dr. Iplier: ;A; after losing his V-card to his highschool sweetheart who was moving away, three months later when he tries to break it off, she tells him she's pregnant. So they have a shotgun wedding. Also his family disowned him for this. He had to balance college, a job, and financially caring for his long distance, pregnant, wife. The boy was stressed, and he vented to her. Very next day she says she lost the baby. And ol' doc blamed himself. They've been married since, and whenever he brought up separating she would bring up the baby. He hired a PI who uncovered that there never was a baby to begin with, so now he's just "fuck you, fuuuuck yoooou." Now he's trying to get her to divorce him so she won't take everything. -tagged: doctor love me

Host: ah hah, favorite boi. My Host did used to be the Author, and after getting his ass handed to him, started looking for ways to really amp up his abilities. He found It(not the clown, fck off)and offered a deal "I'll give you a vessel, in exchange for power" and It misinterpreted and took HIS body instead of letting him find someone else. Over the years he's realized his mistakes and has become much more humble. Basically: Host is a host to a being not of this world or even dimension. -tagged: host2

Yan: goes from "not feeling a thing" to "feeling too much" real quick. If you see him being peppy and cheerful, it's an act so ppl don't question him. He wants to feel. So whenever he gets feelings for someone he often takes it too far. Much too far. Also he's a kitsune h e r e -tagged: bloody cute

Winston: fucking pink, pompadour, greaser demon. Him big. Tol. Stronk. Very protective of his partners, especially if they're human. Big teddybear. Loves animals and works as a mechanic. His town? Almost everyone is a demon there, they just wear glamours all the time. -tagged: big pink

Anti: fucking glitchy glitch tech demon. Acts like a computer virus. Very bitter. Up Dark's ass. He has feelios that he refuses to deal with, so he just annoys Dark and insists on being by him most of the time. He likes Dark because he's one of the few who don't take his bullshit and aren't scared of him. -tagged: virus boi

Bing: saaah dude. Super laidback unless he's alone, then he gets to work and is actually semi serious. He's got a few defects, mainly with his eyes, so he wears shades. Default safemode, the dial(yes, dial)is on the back of his neck. Ppl confuse this for volume too often. Notch one: he can cuss. Notch two: he can look up lewds. Notches from then on just increase how raunchy he can be and the frequency of his lewd statements. Very last notch: he can FUCK. also, he has a detachable dick, like, he can still feel it when it's not attached, thanks to bluetooth. Weird man. -tagged: robruh

Virgil/Anxiety: anxious bab with a sarcastic tongue and foul mouth. Total pessimist. Will not go out of his way to interact with people. Loves puns and dad jokes and Disney. Sings. Acts like a damn cat tbh. But surprise! Him a spider. Has giant spider legs coming out of his back that he hides -tagged: smokey eye

Patton/Morality: god, fckin. He's trying so hard. He wants to be the bestest friend/father figure that he can be. Sometimes he holds his own feelings in and bottles them up. -cough-surprise binch, daddy kink and puns. -tagged: pun papa

AD: h e y, I know we all have headcanons n shit, but my Dark would have tried to get their pal DA out of the mirror and into a body, after things settled, somehow. It would have taken him years, but he would have. Course it didn't go quite as planned. By then whatever remained of the DA was far too gone, turns up being stuck in a broken mirror realm can really fuck you up. And eventually turn you into a demon. AD is not the DA anymore, all they remember is that night and that night only.

Any semblance of the DA they once had is now gone. Now they're out for revenge, and when you're able to travel through reflections that can come quite easily. Ofc they look like Mark(more specifically Dark, as he was the one who both put them in and took them out of the broken mirror that was keeping them tied to the manor), only hella scarred and with white streaks all throughout their hair. Their eyes are mirrors, which is just fckin creepy. Personality wise they don't trust easy. A smartass with a sharp tongue. Brutally honest. Redeeming quality? If they see someone/something that's vulnerable they'll protecc. -tagged: spitting image

Kink(Klancy): a kinky mtherfcker. Used to be in a hella abusive relationship with someone who called beating and using him with no regard for his safety at all "bdsm". And it was Klancy's first and only romantic relationship. It wasn't until his bad, horrid excuse of a dom took them to an actual, legit bdsm club that he realized what the dom was doing was abuse. So he dumped him, and Jeremiah and his buddies helped get his stuff. Klancy decided that from now on he'd take his sex life in his own hands. He isn't currently looking for a a relationship, but I'm a shipping hoe so if y'all are up for a slow burn, hit him up -tagged: kink it up

Eric: hoooooo b o y, well, his backstory was awful before. Now it's uh, downright trigger worthy. I won't go into detail, let's just say Pops has a bad touch way of getting Eric to "calm down". He is a quiet, anxious boy. We all know his canon story. He feels guilty that he's the only one of his siblings living now. And Derek doesn't help. He's moved out and with Klancy, because I want them to be friends and you can fite me in the pit. Klancy-aside from Host-is the only one that knows what Derek's been doing since uh, Klancy being Klancy decided he'd try the dad on for size and Derek said some questionable things in the heat of the moment. Klancy has practically adopted Eric, he'll fight Derek.

Eric is a nervous wreck and easy to manipulate. Which makes him perfect for juicy, angsty threads. -tagged: yellow handkercheif

Periwinkle: a defective Google unit made with an experimental sensory system, it made him incredibly sensitive to the point of pain. So he wears clothes from head to toe, along with a helmet, Daft Punk style. He works at a nearby Google place, doing surveys with owners of Google units. He fakes being emotionless when on the clock, as he's been threatened with deactivation due to violent outbursts. -tagged: off limits

Copiplier: his name's Leslie, Officer Morgan. He prefers being called Lee. He abides by the l a w!! No exceptions. Whenever someone makes a noise complaint or some other with the office, he's the one that shows up. Mostly because none of the other officers want to deal with t h a t mountain of paperwork. His hair's on the long side, man bun long. And he buff. When I say he looks good in the uniform I mean "gets mistaken for a stripper" good. Which is fair, because for some time he was a stripper, before police academy(cough, he still is, on the weekends). Strict boi is kinda dense and ever since Yukio gave him some damn pocky he's been addicted to it. Which is great, since he used to be a smoker. -tagged: oh officer

[lenalvthor]

Ayyyyy, so idk of this is the right blig, but if you wanted ideas for little mini fics relating to the hsau, I'd love to see how Sara and Ava's relationship was before the whole thing with Ava's coming out. Anyway, I love the fic and I hope you have a wonderful day!

hi!! 💛apologies for leaving this in my inbox for so long, this last week has been a ROLLERCOASTER but i promise you, i did see this and get very excited abt it and send it to rachel and we were both freaked out a bit abt getting prompts for the fic

so we have many, many ideas about pre-fic avalance in this au. like Many. many to the point that we don’t have the time to write an actual mini fic about it because the fic would be the furtherest thing from mini. also, bc it would be rlly weird to have to try and go back and write them before all of this, like we go back and read ‘don’t you like you’ and everything feels so strange bc we wrote it before we had this big detailed plan for everything that was gonna happen between them and it just feels crazy that they were in this place where they weren’t even friends let alone in love 

but what i am gonna do. is give you a fuckload of bullet headcanons instead. so i hope that suffices bc buckle up, there’s gonna be a few 🌈🌈

so ava and sara don’t go to the same elementary school. they’re both star city natives though so they kind of know of each other. sara did dance when she was little and was in layla’s dance class and ava was sometimes there when barbara came to pick her up etc etc. 

(ava’s school was a little nicer, was the fancier star city school that barbara teaches at. damien insisted nora went there bc of it’s good reputation and gary’s mom wanted the best possible start for her son, hence how the three of them ended up there and became friends) 

so by the time middle school comes around and they actually become a part of each other’s spheres, they know the other vaguely by name and the like 

in middle school, ava and sara meet and they don’t quite get along but they don’t rlly know each other so it’s not an issue - sara’s this reckless trouble maker that ava wants nothing to do with bc she wants to just do well and be liked and successful and normal while sara’s off getting into fights and sneaking out of school and never doing anything by the rules, so not interacting pretty much suits them both just fine

until in 8th grade, after spencer leaves to join the army and ava’s still trying to piece herself back together and he left around the time that she decides she was going to quit basketball after this season and she was scared she might be gay and starts vehemently ignoring any and all possibilities of that fact - that’s when sara lance comes out as bi

and sara doesn’t know why ava suddenly makes a point to argue with her more than usual, or call her out in her bullshit, or just be a general pain in the ass but she is, and what sara doesn’t realise is that ava’s angry that sara came out bc it put ava in a position where we had to actually confront herself abt her sexuality

sara has a quiet suspicion of why ava’s acting like this, and it would sort of make sense that ava would be gay (or bi, but sara thinks gay) but also she doesn’t wanna assume so she leaves it and just pushes ava’s buttons just as hard 

but it’s not all bad, bc the day nyssa and sara start dating, everyone at school is talking about it and ava knows her friends will be too and she’s terrified bc she doesn’t want to know if they think it’s weird, but kuasa just goes “whoa, no way” and lily whistles and says “damn, they’re probably the hottest couple at school” and gary doesn’t say anything but he’s got this look of curiosity and relief on his face and nora is looking at him carefully before she just glances over at sara and says “good for them” and ava doesn’t know if she wants to laugh or cry with relief

(and it’s still 2 and half years before she even tells nora - the first person she comes out to - but it’s a start at least) 

ava and sara get better for a bit in 8th grade, but then high school happens and suddenly they’re in the same homeroom and heaps of classes together and being partnered / grouped up for projects all the time and they both just get on each other’s nerves to no end

both of them are vying to be rip’s favourite in class and it makes ava furious and sara so smug because ava wanted to be the teachers pet bc she worked hard and did a load of extra curriculars and was always polite and on time and we’ll behaved, whereas rip just liked sara because she was entertaining and good at soccer and a little too cocky for her own good

and around this time, sara is slowly becoming friends with amaya and ray and jax and nate, is being less reckless and dangerous and unbearable as she was in middle school, starting to mellow a bit

but anyway; they’re at each other’s throats all of freshman year but their rivalry ends up being kind of fun bc arguing in class when it’s actually about school isn’t as frustrating for all the teachers and sara notices that ava actually makes her think, makes her feel smart, bc she can actually kind of keep up with the smartest girl in their entire grade, and ava meanwhile realises that sara is actually pretty smart, she’s actually kind of a genius and if she actually tried, she could probably give ava a run for her money and that both infuriates and pleasantly surprises ava 

but then early sophomore year, nyssa leaves. sara’s not at school for a few days and by the time she comes back, everyone Knows because it’s high school and nothing can stay secret for long, and everyone’s trying not to gossip bc sara’s slowly become quite popular around school but they can’t help it, they all wanna know what’s going on

and ava detests sara but she’s always admired her for coming out, for being so proud abt it and dating nyssa when there was like a grand total of 3 other lgbt people at school all of whom fit every single stereotype that ava wanted nothing to do with (and she’ll never admit it, but she had always felt kind of safe and comforted knowing nyssa and sara were dating bc it made her feel like she would be ok one day), so she can’t even imagine how sara feels especially if the rumours about why nyssa left are true 

sara’s heartbroken and angry and confused and she keeps pushing ava with jabs and mocking retorts and remarks that are lot harsher and more biting than usual but ava just smothers the urge to respond and rolls her eyes pointedly and ignores her bc she knows sara’s just lashing out

and at one point in gym, sara just drops her back and turns to face ava and demands “what the fuck is your problem sharpe?” and ava crosses her arms and goes “pretty sure you’re the once with the problem here, lance.” to that, sara glares and spits out “i’m not the one walking around with this fucking holier than thou attitude as if you’re better than me. can you at least argue back instead of rolling over like a doormat?” and ava literally wants to throw a dodgeball at her but she just holds her ground, doesn’t say anything, keeps sara’s gaze before biting her lip and looking away for the briefest of seconds. sara makes this smug huff of triumph, as though ava’s abt to fight back but ava just looks back at sara with an expression that’s too gentle, and says “i’m sorry about nyssa, sara.” and goes to join her dodgeball team

(amaya comes over to ask sara what it was about and sara can’t bring herself to answer, just shakes her head because she doesn’t quite know what just happened) 

things get better quickly, like. sara would never say it at the time but zari is this refreshing burst of fresh air who didn’t know nyssa the way all her other friends did and it’s so nice to have her around, even tho she’s still quite new. and then wally comes to star city and everything is fun and exciting w the legends and things aren’t perfect, definitely not bc oliver and laurel break up and sara and laurel have been fighting just usually like sisters do and dinahs been calling, on saras ass abt her slipping grades at school and sara just wants to piss them both off so she hooks up w oliver (and they’ve known each other for so long that they both feel guilty abt it and they try to make it a Thing bc they don’t want to admit that they both just used each other for different reasons)

it it’s sometime after that, after she and oliver collapsed under the very weak foundation their relationship was already built on, after laurel starts dating tommy, after amaya promises sara she’s not a bad person for what happened with oliver, it’s sometime then that ava makes that challenging retort abt sara even trying to get a better grade than her in french

and all sara can think of is laurel, the way laurel hadn’t been mad when she hooked up with oliver, the way laurel had just snuck into her room late at night and slipped under the covers and hugged sara close as sara broke down abt why their mom just didnt care abt all the good things sara was doing, the way laurel had softly murmured “you’re brilliant sara. you are, you’re so smart and so capable and if mom can’t see that, then she doesn’t deserve to.”

so sara does try. and she gets an a+. and the beam on laurel’s face when she sees it on sara’s desk, the pride on quentin’s when sara tells him - sara never looks back (and she also starts to look a bit more at ava, because maybe she’s not all horrible) 

gary comes out at the very end of sophomore year, sara goes over to give him a hug and she sees the expression on ava’s face - proud and protective and kind but also sort of hurt and definitely, definitely jealous, and sara suddenly remembers the way ava had acted towards her after sara had first come out and she remembers her vague, kind of unfounded assumption that maybe ava was gay, realises that ava’s never had a boyfriend, never said yes to any of the numerous attractive guys who have asked her out 

but also, sara’s known ava for like, 4 years by now and she knows what kind of family ava has and she feels this sudden ache in her chest bc ava must be in the most difficult position - sara doesn’t even know if ava is aware of it, so she doesn’t wanna say anything or offer support (also bc ava still grinds her gears to no end)

but she just keeps an eye out, checks ava’s facebook / instagram every once in a while to see if she’s posted anything abt it or added smth like a pride flag to her bio

and then on a sunday evening in october junior year, ava comes out on facebook. sara doesn’t see it first, in fact, she’s lying on the living room couch trying to not fall asleep reading her social studies text book when from the armchair, laurel lets out a quiet “huh” and both quentin and sara say “what?” at the same time and laurel goes “ava sharpe’s in your grade, right sara?” and sara nods and quentin’s like “is that the girl you did that chem assignment with earlier in the year?” and sara wrinkles her nose and goes “unfortunately. she’s a pain in my ass.” and laurel just hums and says “well, she just came out.”

sara almost falls off the couch, scrambling into a sitting position and snatching laurel’s phone and ignoring laurel’s protesting “hey!”

she reads the post through several times before she goes to comment and realises she’s on laurel’s phone, grabbing her own but then she hesitates, wanting to write something genuine but it feels too vulnerable so instead goes “ffs sharpe, on top of everything else, i now have to compete with you for hot girls too?”, but she opens messenger and goes “hey, just wanted to say congrats on coming out. i know it’s nowhere near easy to tell your family so like, hope that went okay. and i’m here if you wanna talk abt it at all.”

and the day after, as they’re clearing up microscopes and stuff in bio, ava quietly thanks her for her message and sara shrugs, goes “i get it.” and ava pauses before quietly admitting “you know i always admired you for being out. especially when we were so young back in middle school. i’d only just started thinking about it then and … i was a mess. seeing you being out and happy and just - the same person you’d always been … that helped more than you know.”

and it’s probably the most meaningful conversation they’ve ever had (or at least had in a Long time)

and 4 days later, ava shows up on sara’s doorstep after a fight with her mom at dinner and this entire fic began. 

also, for your own reading pleasure, some other random moments we thought of; 

sara only ever called ava ‘sharpe’ or ‘sharpie’ or any other variation of her name until they were both 15/16

ava used to roll her eyes every time sara got a a bad grade because she could be so much better if she tried, but she doesnt

sara nearly started a fight the first time she and ava had to work together on a project, and once they started it and it became clear they worked well together she was the Most Annoyed™️

back in middle school ava always scoffed and made some patronising comment every time she watched someone break up a fight sara had gotten into (except for the one time in the first few weeks of class when she had to stop sara throwing her second, or maybe third punch at a homophobic jerk in their class who’d cornered her on the way back from school - that time she shoved him away and watched him go before turning and cautiously asking if sara was okay, and sara glared at her and told her she’d had everything under control before storming off in the opposite direction)

there are probably many many headcanons for this part of the universe that we will think of but i hope this suffices for now, feel free to come yell about anything legends / fic related bc this was so much fun 💖💞