#yes her name means little cow ;___;

[ja3hwa]

♡ 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐲 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐀𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐔𝐬, 𝐄𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐎𝐮𝐫𝐬 ♡

Day 31 : Trick Or Teat

【Synopsis】 : The dead of night, creatures hide. In the light of a fire, those same creatures can become more.

『Word count』 :  7.01k

-> Genre: Supernatural. Smut. Angst. Fluff.

Paring: Yungi x Reader | Seonghwa x Reader [Eventual ot8 x Reader] 

[Warnings] : Self hatred. Abusive family. toxic family. Cult-like religon. Myths and supernatural concepts. The reader is giving off Genderfluid in some parts [not me projecting whoops]. hints of sexual abuse. Blood. Gore. Dark themes. Blood drinking. Kissing. Swearing. All the boys have a corruption kink cause why not. Fingering. Seonghw has a bit of a superiority complex. Details of torture and killing people. Unprotected sex. Yunho and Mingi are little shits. Eheh

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Surprise!! This is the very first chapter and introduction to my new mini series I'll be writing. I know a lot of you have been wanting Vampire Ateez ot8x reader for a while, and I've been trying to find a good story, and i finally got one, hehe. Also, I wanted to make this fic extra long as well to say thank you for 4k followers. I still want to do an event, but I'm taking a little break first, so I hope this is okay for now.

I LOVE YOU ALL ♡♡♡

Check out the mini series masterlist -> [coming soon]

Masterlist | Navigation | Kinktober List | Part Two

The Destiny Castle was filled with darkness and death. Guard dogs, the size of cows and strange beastly noises echoing in the forest surrounding. And warnings to anyone that enters the ground will never be seen again. Well, that's what the priest of your village says over time and time again. Blabbering about how god left the family that lived in the castle many centuries ago when they invited night-crawling creatures inside. Ones that drink blood and care little for the human race.

Vampires.

You sighed under your breath for the fifth or sixth time this evening as the sermon read on the large dusted book in front of him. Your hands were beginning to ache from having them clasped together for so long. Why were you even praying? It's not like you believe any of this bullshit. Yes, granted, some of it might sound true, and you had doubts on multiple occasions whether this man in the sky was, in fact, real or not. But did you really want to stick around and find out? When you die and you go to hell, so be it. You weren't scared of where you ended up. You were more scared of wasting your life away. Not finding the adventure you so desperately craved. But your picture-perfect parents with their picture-perfect kids shall have no such dreams. No such idea of living other than to tend to the market stall and be married to yet another picture-perfect family.

You felt your mother's god-awful stare as she clearly heard you sigh yet again. You hated her the most. Always finding new and improved ways to punish you for "your sins." Like rolling your eyes or talking back to a man. Or worse, not showing any signs of being a good future housewife so when she's finally ready to sell you off—oh I'm sorry, give you away—to some rich Christian suitor to be your husband. You could be the perfect version of yourself for her.

Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.

You hated that fucking word. A loud bell chime caught your attention, signalling that Sept was finished with his blabberings for the evening. So you stood up straight, your annoyingly over-layered dress before turning on your heels to leave.

"Oh wait, Dove. Come here, please." Your mother's overfaked and sugary sweet tone rattled in your ears. The use of the nickname Dove also annoyed you. Dove, meaning white pure bird that is trapped in a golden cage. Everyone had called you that since you were born, most people in the village not even knowing your real name, only know this nickname.

Why, you may ask?

Simple, your mother hated your name. You were named after your father's mother, who she hated. But it was tradition to name your firstborn after the father's mother, so here you were. Not only were you a disappointment to your mother, but you also bore a name that resembles hatred. Lucky you.

"This is Lucas Wheeler. He's Mary and Robert's Eldest son." Your mother's voice buttered up the introduction, leaning in with an absolutely disturbingly fake smile that everyone seemed to fall for. You turned your lip slightly, making a poor attempt to smile, which your mother did not approve of. "Luca, darling, this is my daughter."

His grin was wide and overexaggerated. His tunic was buttoned all the way up to his Adams apple, looking as if it was constricting his airflow. And his hair was perfectly brushed back. He was the definition of a good pure religious boy. A book nerd. You couldn't hide your disgust as he licked his lips, eyeing you like some piece of flesh. You knew what he was hiding. That filthy lust that men seemed to only be forgiven for. He has probably dreamed about shoving his cock in every woman that passes him and he was definitely only thinking about his needs while staring at you. Not marriage, not husband duty. No, the sole idea of finally getting his little dick wet was driving him crazy. And it made you want to chuck your guts up all over his clean shoes.

"You seem to have such a um, polite daughter here, Christine. She seems shy?" Lucas's mother, Mary spoke up trying to take a look at you but you kept your face pointed to the ground. You didn’t want to be there and you weren't about to fake a smile for a family you did not need to know. you wanted nothing more than to slip away and become invisible like you always did in these types of situations. But turning twenty has now made you in the public eye. Twenty and without a husband was rare. Normally women in your village were betrothed at sixteen and married at eighteen. But you have managed to wheezle your way out of it from your parents being too worried about your younger sisters. But you’ll be twenty-one soon and your mother, Christine was becoming impatient.

“She is a shy one. Sweet too. Micheal and I have been trying to find the perfect man for her, but her shyness seems to not be a lucky charm.” Your mother battered, throwing a sweet chuckle making Lucas’s parents laugh.

“Well, how about you both come over? Bring all your kids, for dinner. I’m sure my Luca would love to get to know her.” Mary pinched Lucas’s cheek making him push away slightly.

“Yes. I’d love to know more about your daughter. I’m sure we will be able to entertain one another while you get dinner ready.” his dark words made your stomach turn and flip. Now you were definitely going to be sick.

“It’s settled then. We will see you at sundown.” Your mother bid goodbye tugging you away by your arm out of the church, not letting you go for a second. Knowing you’d just run off the first chance you got.

-

Night came quicker than you would have liked and no matter how hard to tried to slip away your mother made sure that one of your sisters was always with you, ready to shout if you tried to bail. What was this some type of house imprisonment? You didn’t want to go, that was more than clear. But your mother couldn’t care less and your father well it was ‘whatever mother says goes’. so you were alone in the more honest terms. Your brothers were too young to know any different, your sister who is only two years younger than you was a cutout of your mother. And your little sister was daddy's little girl. She didn’t care about anything but her daddy.

What a perfect family you seem to have. Everyone fitted in somewhere but you. You were the experiment. The first batch of cookies to come out of the oven that no one touches cause they were too burned or not fully cooked.

“Come on we are going to be late.” Your mother's voice rang through the house, your sister's eyes not leaving you. She had muttered something before heading for the door. You had told her you just needed to put on some garments before meeting her downstairs. She was hesitant for a moment thinking this was a plan to escape but you had said that there was no time now and what would be the point. Sensing your defeat she left you alone. Finally.

You pull on some pants under your dress, hating having to wear such feminine clothing. It wasn’t that you were against wearing dresses or lace or even frills. It was more that sometimes you wanted pants. Was that so bad? You sighed putting all the clothes your sister had pulled out for you to try on, on the end of your bed. That was later you’s problem. You noticed your book laying on your pillow making you swear under your breath. Tucking it back under the sheets you wonder if your sister saw it. You hopped not, if she saw what you wrote or worse what you drew, she’d be telling the church to burn you at the stake.

You ran down the stairs quickly, not wanting to waste any more time, hoping that if you go over and get this night over with you can come back home and hide away in your room, wishing you were anywhere other than with this family.

-

This night seemed okay as far as talking about our lord and saviour over supper was. Mary was busy finishing up the final dish, letting Lucas and your parents laugh over a blessed bottle of wine. They had sent you and Lucas away to, get to know one another and Lucas had to perfect idea to show you his barn. A place where ‘he could be himself’. God, everything he says annoys you. Climbing the old rusty ladder, you stand in an empty hay loft. Your gut felt strange, like your body was warning you of something but you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. Until you felt a hand grip your shoulder softly but tight enough to make you freeze.

His breath was so close, pooling on your neck. fingers were ghosting along your corset strings making tears build in your eyes. Even though he was a little boy in your mind. He was much bigger than you and he could easily take advantage of you if you didn’t play your cards right. So you had to act. “And what might we get up to here hmm…”

His chuckle sickened you. “Well, we have some time before mother calls. So I thought we get to know each other. Just like our families wanted.” he pulled away, making a grunting sound behind you. You turned slowly to see he was sitting on a blanket that had been laid out on some hay. Was this disgusting excuse of a man really thinking he could charm you into sleeping with him? God, his ego was bigger than you thought. You giggled, waltzing around the small room pretending to think but in truth, you were looking for an exit. You could go down the ladder but he’d probably grab you before getting that low. Maybe over the side onto the beams. He won't be able to get to you then. But then you’d be trapped until you eventually have to climb back over. And you know he’s the type to wait you out.

A window. Probably leads onto the roof. Not practical but if you recall you did see a bunch of hay bails just outside so if you jump you’d be able to land on them. And a broken ankle or wrist was better than….”Where is your mind wondering, baby? Do I scare you?”

Your head snaps back to him, giving him a small smile. “Oh, no…no…” You step closer, looking him deep in his eyes. “you don’t scare me…baby…” You stood right above his laying figure, his legs spread, enough for you to place a foot in between them. A grim smirk painted his unpleasant features. he went to sit up and you used this as your now or never, kicking him right in the balls without another thought. His groan was loud, knowing if it weren't for how far you were from the house. Everyone would have heard.

“You little bitch!” You ran for the window, crawling out as quickly as you could. The top of your dress got caught on a nail ripping the fabric. But you didn’t waste any time to cry about broken material, looking for the hay bails. It wasn’t as high of a jump as you thought, sliding down the straw, making some of it get caught in your dress. You could hear Lucas groaning in the distance as you started to run. Run fast and run far.

You needed to go home. Quickest route is through the forestry back towards the centre of the village before turning off from the church. Jump Mr Smith's fence and climb the vines into your room. Simple enough. But it's dark, a little too dark and all you could hear was your heartbeat in your ears and rabid footsteps in the distance. The forest was thick. Trees tightly snug together. You almost tripped several times over branches and roots. Your heart was racing now, panting as your mind was becoming hazy. Need to get home. Need to get home.

“Ohhhh Little Dove, where are you.” Lucas’s deep sinister voice echoed through the dark forest. He was too close, you needed to stop. Hide. Maybe he’d go past you or head back. “Come out, baby. We were just having some fun.”

Quiet. Be silent. don’t move. Not a mucsle.

He called your name this time your real one making you gulp. His voice was maybe two or three trees away from where you stood. A twig snaps and you feel tears in the corners of your eyes. He was so close it was like you could still feel his breath. “Come on princess...” His hand wrapped the tree you were standing against and everything stopped. You closed your eyes thinking for a moment, trying to play thousands of scenarios of how you could get away. But nothing would work. He caught you. He danced the bend, slipping right into your view. Before you could run his hand gripped your throat making you freeze. “Don’t worry baby. I don’t bite.”

His words were short... sinister, like he had achieved his ultimate goal of capturing his prey. Your eyes widened going to spit back a comment but your words caught in your throat as you saw a figure suddenly appear behind Lucas. Tall, dark. Red eyes glowing through the night. Everything happened so quickly, the beast grasped Lucas the same way he had you, pulling him back with fright. “But I do…”

The creature's fangs pierced the disgusting man's neck making him scream out a noise that would make your blood curdle. His grip dropped from you, trying to scratch and fight off the larger figure. You took this moment to run, not even caring if the creature was going to kill him or not. All you knew was you needed to run. But you couldn’t run home anymore. There’s blood on your hands literally, Lucas’s blood splattered on you. If this wasn’t a perfect situation the priest was looking for to burn you at the stake you don’t know what is. “Hey, this way.”

You physically jump hearing a high-pitched voice cooe at you through the wind. It was a hooded figure, and normally you would of not gone with a stranger but in this case it seemed fair. You followed the person who seemed to be always a few steps ahead of you at all times no matter how hard you tried to catch up. It was only then, when you stopped focusing on the person to look around you noticed they were leading you to the castle grounds. Where myth reads vampires inhabit. That must have been what got Lucas.

A blood sucking vampire.

You stopped in your tracks not knowing to go back or forward. It’s not like vampires scared you per se. It was just. You were human and they are beasts. They would certainly eat you before you could plead your case. But one of them saved you right? That’s what it was doing? Not just finding two humans and deciding to have a late-night snack right….

“Hey over here.” The figure called for you again but when you looked up everything suddenly went black.

-

Your head was ringing. Heartbeat thumping slowly in your ears. Black splotches clouded your vision as you tried to look around. You were in a room. A Billiard room, to be exact. You have never seen a room of such a size. The bottom of your house most definitely fitting in this room alone. The leather under your fingers felt expensive, seeing the brown with bubbled texture. It was lavish, elegant—

"Beautiful, isn't it." A smooth voice swayed your attention, having caught you admiring the fine fabrics of the furniture. Your eyes locked with deep crimson ones. He was like nothing you've ever seen before. He was stunning, tall, and broad. You had to gulp at the sheer beauty of the man. But you knew he wasn't just a man. From his eyes, you knew he was a beast, a night crawler.

"Are you going to respond? Or are you more of a staring type?" Another voice scared you slightly. Looking to your left, you see another man, but he was sitting on the couch next to you. His black undercut fitted his features perfectly. He kind of sounded like the hooded figure that was helping you get away before...

"Definitely the quiet, staring type." A cheeky tone to your right. He was leaning on the pool table, his Cheshire cat grin painting his features smugly.

So there's three of them that live here?

"Now now, Woo, San. She's probably just scared." A shorter but beefier male suddenly stood next to the first one that spoke. He wasn't even looking at you, mostly paying attention to the two he called Woo and San. You were now sitting straight up, moving your gaze from each of them. As they were all in their own worlds arguing about why you might not be talking.

"You're bleeding, Tiny?" A voice growled behind you, startling you. You turned to see two very big men standing behind the couch. "When did you cut yourself?" He dragged his two fingers through your wound, making you hiss, pulling away from him.

He put one of his fingers in his mouth, closing his eyes as if he were savouring the taste. Once he was done, he placed his other bloody finger in the male next to him, mouth. The other man groaned his eyes, glowing a harsher red as he stared you down. "You taste delicious, Sugar."

You went to stand, trying to get away from them, but your legs gave out, making you fall forward in front of the high-pitched boy who still sat on the other couch. "Be careful, Dollface. Don’t want ya gettin hurt."

"Okay, let's give her some space. Wooyoung, take San down to the kitchens and see if dinner is ready yet. Mingi and Yunho can go set the table." The one that stood at the door, the first man directed all the men with ease. They will followed without another word, heading for the door. "And for the love of Lillith, Jongho, can you please find your lover and Hongjoong. I think they were still cleaning up from..." He looked at you briefly. "Dealing with that disgusting human."

You knew he was talking about Lucas, and that meant this Lover boy or Hongjoong had been the one you saw ripping through Lucas's neck. They all left soon after, leaving you alone with the dominant man. You managed to sit back on the couch, but you wanted, needed to stand. So you tried your luck again, and your knees buckled, making you slip forward, but instead of making an impact with the ground, two large arms were wrapped around your waist. Your hands gripped the creature's biceps, feeling his muscles taught and tense. "You do need to be careful, Darling."

Unlike Lucas's or any man, you've ever met really. These creatures don't seem to set off any of your alarms. You didn’t know if that was a bad thing or not, but you chose to brush it off, ‘cause in the end, you had never felt such kindness from anyone in the village. You were out-casted, unloved. You might as well be the witch they all wanted you to be. The kind smile that painted his features made your heart skip. He was indeed handsome. You finally spoke up saying who you were and the man looked at you with surprise before laughing. “Oh, I’m sorry. My name is Seonghwa. It’s nice to meet you…”

Your name rolled off his tongue so beautifully. No one had ever used it to address you before. It was almost strange, foreign even. “Honestly you could call me anything. I was never called that name sadly.”

Seonghwa hummed in response, still holding tight on you. In truth, he knows much more about you than he leads on. When he and the others go on hunts he had found you a year ago. Ironically you were having your nineteenth birthday. On your own of course. He remembers the way you spoke to yourself, wishing yourself a happy birthday while you drew in your book. Your feet were in the cool water of the watering hole in the forestry just outside the village. You went there almost every second day. And so did he.

There was something about you that caught his eye. Caught all of the boy's eyes. You were special but none of them could put their finger on it. So of course when they found you running for your life from a disgusting man. They couldn’t stand by and let anything happen to their precious little human.

-

Dinner was quick as you just sat there and ate in silence. The others were loud though, making it seem almost normal. Like everything that was happening was something you all were used to already. Seonghwa had told you about all the boys and what all their names were. It took you a moment to put names to faces but once you got it. It was easy. Seonghwa never left your side. Making sure you were safe and comfortable. You appreciated it, understanding it must have been weird to have a human walking around. But you quickly learnt that all the maids and butlers were human. They got paid and some even lived on the estate.

Everything the village said about vampires and creatures in general was so wrong. And secretly you always wanted it to be wrong. So you were glad they weren't purely just bloodsucking beasts. But every now and then that face you saw popped into your head. You still didn’t know which one killed Lucas. And on top of it, this Hongjoong and Yeosang—Seonghwa had told you his name—were nowhere to be found.

“Okay well, sun will be up soon. Let’s get ready for bed.” Seonghwa again spoke up, dying down the chatter. It was like he took on a motherly role in the house. It was cute.

“Come Sugarcube. Yunho and I will show you to your room.” The one named Mingi flashed you a smile making you smile in response. Bidding Seonghwa goodnight or would It be morning now? Mental note to look out for a clock. The halls were lavish and carpeted, matching all the rooms you’ve seen thus far. Everything was perfect, vintage and beautiful. Yunho and Mingi had caught onto your mind wandering and had stopped for a moment, seeing how far you’d walk without them near you. You were very cute to them. Like a clueless bunny, with wide innocent eyes.

“Hey, Tiny. Your room is over here.” Yunho’s far voice snapped you out of your thoughts making you turn around to see both large men. Their arms crossed, with big grins. Your face was redder than a tomato in seconds making them both groan at how you waddle back quickly. Cute. Too cute. “This is where you’ll be saying. We’ll try and get some of your personal things tomorrow.”

“Yeah, Hongjoong had said something about grabbing some stuff while your family are out tomorrow.” Mingi rubbed the back of his neck as you slipped past both men to look into the huge spacious room. Only hours ago you were about to be married off to some pig and live on his farm until your death to now staying with not one but eight vampires.

And what was worse. You couldn’t go back. Not that you’d want to that is. But still, all your life you’ve known one thing and now… “You okay Tiny? Not the style you like? We have like ten other rooms if you want to-No it’s okay it’s just…” You cut Yunho off before taking a seat on the olive green and black silk sheets that lay on the large king bed.

“Did…Did Lucas die?” You don’t understand why you were asking about that pig but you needed to know. You needed to know would your parents found his mangled body and thought the beast that did that also killed you. Or would they think you did it? Yunho sat on his knees in front of you, placing his large hands on your thighs in a comforting manner. His smile was soft and his fingers grazing on your exposed skin was gentle.

“No. Yeosang left him alive. But he won't be wanting to live with the way he looks now.” You don’t know if Yunho’s words made you feel better or worse.

“Hongjoong helped him drag him back to that barn. His parents found him and they are looking for you at the moment.” Mingi revealed, knowing you’ll just keep asking questions so there was no reason to hide anything from you.

“Do my parents think I’m dead?” Deep down you knew they’d be happy either way. Dead, alive. Murderer or innocent. Your family would plead their sob story about the monster you were regardless of the truth.

“No…Lucas told them you ran. They think you were a part of it. Luring him out there for your vampire lover to have a meal.” Yunho felt disgusted with himself for repeating what Hongjoong had told them your parents said. But what else should they do?

“Vampire lover….hmm.” You smiled, starting to laugh. That’s what they probably thought you were sneaking off to at random hours of the day or night. Both of the men looked at one another with confusion, letting Mingi sit down next to you.

“Something funny with that Sugarcube?” Mingi’s voice was so deep, velvety. It made your core tingle and heart race. You looked up at him with tears in your eyes, but still giving him a smile.

“My mother has wanted nothing but to pin some devilish thing on me and now she gets it. Something that said I did not serve the lord. Argh…” Tears ran down your cheeks “Fuck the lord. Why should I have to care what an old man did for humanity?! I just wanted to paint. Find adventure. Not marry and be a baby maker for some lowlife pig.” All your pent-up anger. All your disappointment. Every single thing you wished to say to your mother was pouring out, in front of two vampires you had only met hours ago now. It felt like a weight being pushed off your chest and you were no longer drowning. Mingi’s hand rubbed circles on your lower back making you fall into his embrace, letting him hold you while Yunho straightened up so he could hold you as well. They were beasts that could drain you in seconds yet they held you like they’ve known you for years. They listened as if they cared. They spoke as if you were the most important person in the world. why?

“There, there baby. It’s okay. You’re free now. You can do anything you want.” Yunho’s voice was quiet almost barely above a whisper. But still still heard him. You pulled away letting them still hold you but you could wipe your face. You can do anything? No one has ever said that to you.

“Well...I guess since this my first time of freedom…” You had both the vampire's attention now with your words. “I want a bath. One with lots of bubbles.” You’ve never had such a thing in your life only settling for quick showers or sharing bathing pools with your siblings. Not something lavish. Mingi laughed a deep hearty laugh. As if you couldn't get any more cute, there you went.

“I think that’s a perfect idea Sugar. We’ll get one of the maids to fix one up for you. And…” He placed his hands on either shoulder pushing you towards Yunho. Your face inches from him. Mingi inspected the wound of your shoulder blade noticing it was already closing but blood was still pooling out of it slowly. “Get this wound cleaned up…”

His tongue licked a strip upwards, following the wound. You hiccuped feeling a slight sting from him. Yunho however distracted you by giving you a kiss. Your eyes were wide and confused. He… he was kissing you. His soft lips moved slowly against yours. His tongue dipped around your bottom lip, testing the waters. Perfectly distracting you from Mingi cleaning your cut with his mouth. Your blood tasted unlike anything he had ever tasted before.

“You taste amazing… fuck.” Mingi mumbled against you while Yunho’s tongue slipped into your mouth as you groaned. Your mind was spinning like crazy, your hand finding place on Yunho biceps, digging your nails in his cold flesh.

“Y…Yuyu..” You tried to speak, finally making both men pull away, leaving you to gasp for air.

“Sorry tiny. Your lips were just too kissable not to.” Yunho chuckled licking his lips of the saliva you left behind on them. Your heart was pounding, feeling such excitement but also a tinge of fear…

“Tha… that was my first kiss..” You felt embarrassed to say so but you felt compelled to tell them. Which made both of them growl. Mingi’s fingers wrapped in your tattered dress hem while Yunho rubbed his hand over his face.

“Fuck. I was your first kiss baby?” Yunho felt so proud of himself.

“Damn Yunho the others aren't gonna be happy when they find out,” Mingi spoke as if you were no longer there.

“Wait why would the others care?” You suddenly felt small, seeing hunger in both their eyes. You had no idea what these men were planning, nor what they all wanted from you. It frightened you. But not as much as it excited you.

-

The bath was filled with bubbles, vanilla scent soap and soft music from a vinyl. You could have stayed in there for hours but when one of the maids came in to help you dress your wound you knew it was time to get out. The nice maid named Minnie had brought you some sleepwear, soft silk sleep shorts and a singlet. You have never felt such soft fabric before always getting hand-me-downs or second/third hand clothing.

“You look cute.” A gentle voice echoed from the door of your room. You hummed, blush burning your cheeks. Turning you see Seonghwa leaning against the door frame, bottom lip between his teeth as he eyed you, not even trying to hide that he was checking you out.

“Thanks…” You played with your fingers, standing there awkwardly as you watched Seonghwa close the door, slowly moving towards you. Like he was stalking you. No doubt Yunho and Mingi had run off bragging what they had done when you were busy bathing. God, if this was going to become a new normal you were going to develop a headache from your head spinning.

“I wanted to check on you.” For every step he took, you took one back, like a little dance until your back was firmly against the wall and his body almost flushed against you. “I heard Min and Yun had some fun with you.”

“I-..Yunho kissed me…Mingi he uh…” You felt so flustered, fanatically looking around the room feeling embarrassed about spilling what you had done even though you knew the two giants would have told everyone by now. He put his fingers on your chin, running his thumb along your bottom lip, pulling on it slightly.

“I was kinda hoping to be the first to taste you. But then again, none of the boys tend to listen.” His eyes were hooded, looking at you with such hunger. He could feel your heart race against the pad of his thumb. He can hear your blood pumping quicker than normal. And your eyes never left his. His face inched closer, and then some. Seeing just how close he could get to you before you’d pull away but you didn’t, not even flinch. “Have you done anything like this before?”

You shook your head no slightly. “Have you ever touched yourself, Bunny?” his question made your face become redder. This was filthy, dirty, something you were supposed to be sworn away. And man did defying god feel intoxicating. You whispered no, making him close his eyes with a sigh for a moment. So innocent, so cute… So his to taint. “Do you want me to touch you, Bunny?”

“Yes…” You whisper… He tucked a piece of damp hair behind your ear making you shiver as his fingers grazed your skin. His cold tips slide along your cheek, down to your neck, before pushing gently on your man artery feeling your hot blood pump under his digits.

“I could drain you dry right now. Or fuck you full? Maybe both? Hmm?” His lips brushed against yours but not enough to seal his lips on yours. No, he wanted you to do it, he needed you to do the first move. So he knows you do in fact want it. And you gave him exactly what he wanted, leaning up to lock your lips to his. His one hand cupped your face to deepen the kiss while his other, snaked down to play with the hem of your shorts. Your legs spread instinctively, giving him access to do whatever he pleases. His wet tongue danced with you making you feel all kinds of filthy.

You had almost gotten a man killed, ran away from home. Most likely been shunned for life from your village and on top of that kissed two men that both happened to be undead creatures you only just met, while another drank from one of your open wounds. If was indeed sins, you might as well be sent down to Lillith herself on a golden platter.

“Come on Bunny, let’s get you comfortable.” He pulled away picking you up by your thighs before walking over to your bed and laying you down on the plump mattress. His lips trail down your cheeks, then your jaw until he stops at your neck for a moment rubbing his nose along your jugular. “God I can smell your blood through your soft skin.” he sighs, drawing his fangs out.

“H-Hwa p-please…” You bucked your hips against his hardening length, spreading your legs further so he could get closer if that was possible. He chuckled, darkly. Fang pressing just hard enough to pierce your skin a little bit so a few drops of blood would spill out. He licked your blood up, trying not to get any on the bed sheets. Your whimpers were music to his ears, and your taste was heavenly. Now he’s wondering how else you taste in other places. “Fuuckk.”

The feeling of his fangs and the was his fingers play with your short made your head cloudy. His hand slipped into your shorts cupping your core making you suddenly aware what was happening. His mouth finally left your neck, kissing down the exposed parts of your chest. He was worshiping every part of your body sending your skin on fire. “Such a pretty bunny. I can feel heat pooling out of you. Do you find my devilish charms that intoxicating bunny?”

You squirmed, needed more. His index finger slide along your slit making your mouth open into an ‘o’ shape. Your eyes shut tightly, finally feeling some kind of relief that you were searching for. The pleasure was new, and strange, making you feel like you were in a whole another world. Seonghwa kept whispering sweet nothings to you as he slowly pushes a finger inside your drenched cunt. It was steady at first until he found a rhythm, inching yet another finger inside making your brows knot together. His name fell from your lips on repeat like some kind of broken vinyl, he knew he could get you close to your high without much effort given you have never felt such a feeling before. And with only a few more moments you were clenching around his digits, coming underdone while he stared at you intensely, watching every one of your features move and contort in the pure ecstasy he was gifting you. “Did that feel good baby? I can make you feel even better, all you got to do is say yes.”

“Yes, please Seonghwa. Please. Make me feel like that again. I wanna feel good.” You don’t know why your mouth started spilling such filth but you couldn’t care, not when you were so close to feeling a pleasure you have only wondered about in those lewd novels Miss Smith had down the path. She had let you borrow one and it had changed your life forever. Seonghwa got to work, pulling your shirt off above your head and tugging down the rest until it slipped off your ankles in one swoop of his wrists. You were completely bare for him. He could see all the sun-kissed spots. All the scars, and beauty marks. He could see the bruises of a handprint on your collarbone and other smaller ones littering your legs and arms.

Pathetic human. Digusting pig.

Fuck, does he wish that Yeosang and Hongjoong hadn’t kept him alive now. But then again giving him a swift death would have been too merciful. No, Seonghwa would want to keep Lucas in a cell, locked away for weeks. No food, barely any water. Watching him starve. Watch him beg for death. But Seonghwa would never give it to him. Lucas would welter away in the dungeon, cold, scared, and alone. Just as you felt when you were being chased by him. Just as you felt when he had put his hands on you. Seonghwa would make him pay.

“H-Hwa…” You sat on your elbows having seen the vampire's mind wander. Was he okay? Was he second-guessing his actions? Seonghwa was quick to disregard any of your fears as he shed himself off his shirt, before sliding off the bed to pull his pants down. They dropped to the floor with an audible ‘oof’. You didn't mean for your eyes to immediately gaze down at his fully grown erection but its angry red tip had caught your attention. Seonghwa didn’t mind one bit though, he admired your body in the meantime, letting you get a good look at him while he did the same to you. “That can’t fit inside me….”

Seonghwa laughed, physically laughed at your abrupt statement. “Oh don’t worry. It will.”  he yanked one of your legs making you gasp. He stood tall at the end of your bed, letting you wrap your legs around his waist. He rubbed the tip of his cock along your slit, gathering up some of your cum to use as lubricant. The whole time his eyes never left yours. He wanted to see the pleasure pooling in your eyes when he entered you inch by inch. And as you bit your bottom lip, you tried your damned hardest to keep your gaze open. “That’s it, baby. Breath…”

The stretch was painful, to say the least. Even though Seonghwa had used his fingers on you, it still wasn’t enough to fully prep you for his girth. He rubbed circles in your hips, trying to settle the pain as much as he could, noticing your fingers had entangled in the silk sheets, with your knuckles turning lightly white.

“Ffuckk, hngmm Seong.” you mumbled, finally feeling him enter you fully, his groin flush against you. He stayed still for a moment, letting you catch your breath but man was it hard. The way you clamped around him, sucked him in for more. It made him want nothing more than to pound the living shit out of you. But patience. He needed patience. And luckily out of all the boys, he owned the most patience.

“Can I move Darling?” His words were a stutter, laying with groans and sighs. You nodded your head before responding with a quick and quiet ‘please’ letting him draw his cock until only the tip was inside you then smashing back in, knocking the wind out of you. You could no longer hold yourself up, falling onto your back. Seonghwa watched as your breasts bounced in time with his thrusts and how your thighs were clamped snugly around him. You felt amazing, looked eternal. And you were finally his.

He dreamed about what your cunt might feel like wrapped around his cock. Or how might your blood taste when you are in the middle of being fucked. Firty thoughts had always seemed to riddle his mind whenever he saw you and now he could finally get the answers. But one thing is for sure. He has no idea how he is possibly going to share you with the others. When he is going to be craving you permanently.

-♥︎

[chaoticladyfire]

Things I screamed about in ATSV (spoilers)

-Got to rewatch the film so I’m just going to add the colours changing to warmer tones when Gwen hugs her father. Not even ten minutes in and I was already crying.

-Realised that we missed the Gwen-Vulture fight BUT got to see Jessica Drew enter the scene like a bad ass in her bad ass bike and hearing the audience collectively say ‘me too’ when Gwen asked if Jessica could adopt her. 

-Screaming OSCAR ISAAC when Miguel spoke

-Lyla. Just Lyla.

- ‘Do you say anything other than no?’ ‘No-YES!’ more of miguel and jessica pls

-The Spot’s introduction. I didn’t see any promotional stuff, teasers or even trailers before watching this film so I had no idea who or what the The Spot was which was great because he really went from villain of the week to villain of the movie. And they clearly had a great time choreographing the fight scenes with him

-Miles’ heating up the beef patty while the spot and the convenience store man argue

-Miles patting the spot’s with a ‘good cow’ text

-Gwen and Miles both having to deepen their voices to avoid being recognised by their respective cop dads

-Miles saying that he can get two cakes when the counsellor says you can’t have your cake and eat it too and then bringing two cakes for his father’s party and neither of them saying what he wanted to convey. 

-Rio and Jeff scolding an annoyed miles but instantly smiling when a relative hugs them what an universal experience 

-Gwen teasing Miles for drawing her in his notebook almost obsessively but also breaking the biggest rule to spend time with him knowing the consequences. 

-As they went to talk, my friend leaned over and said ‘yeah I bet they will talk’ and when they only talked he groaned very loudly at which point I had to remind him Miles was only 15 

-Watching Jeff talk to Spiderman about his son not knowing his son is spiderman

-The DJ increasing the volume when Miles’ parents started scolding him in the middle of the party (the real mvp of the movie actually) 

-JK Simmons cameo that no one seems to be talking about??? Embarrassingly enough I had to literally scream into my friend’s ear for most of the people to realise it was indeed JK Simmons

-Just the entire Mumbattan scene. It was so exciting to see my city be represented like that, still a bit cliched in my opinion but not like Slumdog so obviously they have updated their views. Everything from the traffic gag to Pav’s rant about chai tea had the theatre howling. Also the detail of the thought boxes (?) and sounds being written in Hindi 

-Screaming DANIEL KALUUYA

-My friend and I are huge fans of the UK punk scene (her for the ideologies and myself for the music and fashion) so Hobie was a dream come true. He was already super cool with his guitar and mohawk costume but when he revealed his face it was just so amazing

-Gayatri is every indian’s dream girl with her modern shirt-flannel and jeans combo mixed with bangles and piercings I really wish we get to see more of her in the next movie. Anyway there was a lot of wolf-whistling and hooting for her and Pav

-Also Pavitr literally means pure I don’t know if they did that on purpose or not but I love it

-His pet name being Pav cured my soul

-’This is the most emotional I have seen him’ and Captain Singh has no emotions at all

-I want to see how they came up with so many spider designs because each was so unique and immediately endearing. My friend who is also a big dinosaur fan screamed DINOSAUR 

-Kind of obsessed with how detailed Ben Reilly’s arms are they did not need to go that hard with it

-Tom Holland’s Spider-Man being referred to as ‘the little nerd’ by Miguel

-When everyone was making puns about the Spot my friend leaned over and said ‘i wonder which hole the spot prefers’ it is a miracle we are still friends actually

-The Donald Grover cameo!!!

-Peter B Parker having a cute little baby with the love of his life is what he deserves

-Miguel O Hara is one step away from becoming a Batman-Spiderman 

-Hobie’s admiration for Mayday being the avatar of chaos Spider-baby

-Screaming ANDY SAMBERG

-I think they saw the appreciation for the art style in the previous film and then trebled it for this film and I cannot thank them enough for it

-Peter complaining about how Miguel breaks the Spiderman tradition of being funny and witty and Miguel being the first anomaly 

-Every scene with the Spot is very unnerving because as I said, you watch him transform from this joker to a literal void of vengeance and it is every bit of terrifying

-Miguel is a man suffering from the destruction of an entire universe because of his selfish actions and forcing that anomaly narrative on a fifteen year old boy who became a spiderman on accident and doesn’t want his father to die because of that. Unlike the Spot, who isn’t even human anymore, Miguel is drowning in grief and guilt and trying to ignore it by holding the weight of the spider-verse on his shoulder. I hated him so much for making a boy go through that but then I just couldn’t in the end. 

-Andrew Garfield and Tobey Maguire cameo!!! Hopefully we’ll get a fun Tom Holland one too in the next movie.

-’Let me guess, he died?’ being a therapist for Spider Men must be a fairly boring job after a few patients.

-I just loved the absolute of wrongness of the scene where Miles returns ‘home’. The rain and darkness. I didn’t really think about Rio asking Miles what happened to his hair because I thought she was referring to the rain (although of course she wouldn’t ask him why his hair was wet when it was obviously raining outside) but realised something was wrong when he didn’t know about comic con but she did because in the first film there’s a joke about Peter B Parker explaining the concept to Miles. 

- This movie is not good for my father related issues

-The glaring neon welcome sign when the gang end up in Earth 42

-How did Uncle Aaron get even scarier? 

-Miles being the Prowler is honestly a great twist I saw it coming but still felt the shock of the reveal

-Prowler Miles having an accented voice meaning his father probably died when he was young and he only had his mom growing up

-Can’t wait for the original spider team to return for the third film seeing as they brought back Spider-Man Noir and Spider Ham and Peni Parker

-Screaming WHAT when the ‘to be continued’ appeared because that cliffhanger is absolutely destructive. All that adrenaline and excitement just popped. I’m still oscillating between being impressed and being disappointed. 

I probably skipped over a lot of other scenes because these were the most memorable and I only watched the film once (unfortunate) but I can’t wait for the movie to hit streaming services and watch it again and again for all the other details I missed. Ill probably keep adding things as I remember

[double-aa-batteries]

things about about TSC I can't stop thinking about

"hindsight was a backstabbing bitch"

curtains symbolizing jeans healing journey, how he keeps them closed at Abby's in a effort to recreate the nest in search of some normalcy, how he opens them and looks out the window his new apartment, seeking calm in his overwhelm

"I want to go home" (13) meaning evermore vs. "I want to go home" (329) meaning to his apartment with Laila, Cat and jeremy

the fact that jean's phone is probably still in Abby's freezer

Kevin "their kindness matters" Day

Neil's smile is as unsettling to everyone else as it is to him and he has so much more Nathaniel in him than he recognizes in his own pov

Jean is so similar to neil in that they're both petty, dramatic bitches who care deeply about their teammates' safety

riko and the ravens quite literally took jean's name from him (Jean-Yves, Jonny, Paris)

"[Renee's] love was so tender it looked like grief as it curled her mouth and made her eyes shine"

jean gets forehead kisses from Renee and Cat

"that creepy little goalkeeper Andrew Minyard"

jean's many nicknames for neil: tiny bastard, tedious malcontent, abominable cockroach, wretched little runaway, ignorant child, etc.

Neil took the bandage off of jeans 3 and promptly stuck it over Kevin's chess peice

"I should have let him kill you," Jean said. "Probably," Neil agreed, "but you didn't, so here we all are."

"...aside from his outstanding murder charge, there was nothing interesting about that fox"

the fact that the point of tfc was to show characters who couldn't/wouldn't/ or were unable to heal from the trauma they had faced and yet from the very beginning and without question, TSC is about jean clawing his way forward and toward healing no matter what

the cheese drawer

dadmack dialed up to 1,000 See: "i will burn this house down before I let them touch you"

bisexual jean Moreau panicking over his teammates in swimsuits and Jeremy's long legs

"He's earned the right to be arrogant"

riko couldn't bring himself to hurt wymack because he was Kevin's father and Kevin was like a brother to riko and riko has always yearned for a father's recognition

Alvarez has a motorcycle and jean didn't say no to learning how to ride it

we know next to nothing about Jeremy Knox despite having chapters in his pov (why was he in therapy? why was his dad in France? what the hell did he do at the Fall banquet his freshman year to tear his family in half?)

that being said: Jeremy Knox is a rich boy with a butler

everything about Catalina Alverez

the fact that Jeremy knox has two brothers and one of them is probably dead

"rather than force the Trojans underground for that part, they simply built steps up and over it inside the stadium" the JUXTAPOSITION

Alvarez cooks and so now does jean

we know for a fact riko subjected Kevin to "subtler cruelties" while he was in the nest

"they never should have said yes when you asked" and "I didn't ask"

"as if you can tell a girl apart from a cow on a good day"

"permission to break his face, coach?" jean asked. "denied," white said.

all of thanksgiving pt. II

"alarm looked wrong on a face born for smiling"

jean casually saying "your apologies are as useful as perfume on a frog" to Lucas

Neil's whole relationship with Jean

David "I believe we all have the choice to be better than the hands that shaped us" Wymack

Neil generally being a menace to society but especially "Neil, being the person he was, pointed at the fire hydrant adjacent to it's front bumper and said, 'thats illegal, just so you know.'"

"the cracking heat in his chest could have been his ribs snapping or his heart breaking"

[martuzzio]

HERMITCRAFT CATCHPHRASES

Hi, here's a (hopefully comprehensive) reference list of hermit catchphrases! The main goal here is to help writers and artists who (like me) might struggle with getting the characterization of some hermits right. Check out more info at the end of the post!

Note: this list updates a lot whenever I get new suggestions, which means reblogs aren't always fully accurate. I've linked this post to the top of my blog so it's easy to access the most recent version :)

Bdubs Shreep / uh-oh, gotta shreep! Crastle I love ya to death It’s gorgee Beyootiful Uh oh! Hell’s blazes! Hawsies YOU'LL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO! Shuddup! Judas priest! Bdubs' PERFECT REDSTONE!! What in the world! Holy cow! Nuh-uh! Hoimycraaaaaf Whimsy Trying my heart out

Beef EEskall That was my nickname in college! Nailed it! Dangit! Beefy Tunes Smelly Etho Opulent Etho? Oh, yeah, I own him Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Beef taught Etho about redstone Oh my goodness! Oh boy! What the heck Oh, baby! Quote unquote A ton of __

Cleo Class dismissed! I don’t need your stinky torches I will break your legs Trash is fish The answer to everything is leather pants Not because it’s the sand castle you deserve, but it’s the sand castle I need! What did you do, Joe…. It's FINE, everything's FINE Lovely Silly I mean... Not gonna lie... To be fair...

Cub DA CREAMADA CROP Alright guys Nice, nice Ladies and gentlemen / ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em Eeeeasy money Beautiful, absolutely beautiful Mmmmmhmmmmmm Holy smokes Let's goooo! Sweet Oh, baby! Man, oh man Without further ado Peace out Cheers / cheers, man There's some heat coming off that thing

Doc Are you kidding me now? Alright guys Can’t touch this The G.O.A.T. Etho, get to the damn land man! It all started when Grian touched my redstone… Epic

Etho Uh-huh Like-a so Oh snap Get your snacks! Holy smokes! Take care, have a good day, bye bye Aww snappers! Aww yeah Von Sway I barely know ‘er! Speaking of llamas Bright blue bamboo E. to the T. to the your mum Beefaroni / Beefers Speaking of llamas… That’s what she said! Free glass Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Suckerrrr! Check it out

False Blimey Awh dude Frick False Supremacy Oh my goodness I don't know about you guys, but... Props to __ I'm not gonna lie...

Gem Gem is great Her [name] is [adjective]! Gem will __ ("Gem will watch Impulse") Perfect! Epic It's true, I swear! Not gonna lie... Oh gosh! Trust the process Nailed it!

Grian Hello! My name is Grian Good… byeeeee! Pesky bird My heart! My little heart! Mumbo Mumbo you are AFK Can we just agree that Mumbo loses? What in Queen Elizabeth’s shiny crown was that? It wasn't me, it was the man in the chicken costume! SaAaaaAaAnd Chobblesome SCAR NO— / NO SCAR— In theory… Electric boogalooo What does this button do? What on earth? This is in shambles Get outta here! Hear me out... We don't have __. What we DO have is __ Just straight up Without further ado Crack on Bingo bango Yes. 100%

Hypno Right, right Mmhmm You guys Dang guy

Impulse What’s goin on everyone? Shovel Shuffle BEHIND YOU GEM! Peeps Geez Let's goooo! Are you kidding me? Oh, man Now we're talkin'! Holy smokes Oh my gosh How cool is that? Jeez! Dang it! Buddy Presi (for present) You bet!

Iskall Hallo -skall ("richskall") That’s mega / that’s looking absolutely mega Omega “Excuse me? Sir?” __ of doom Okay, lol And I will see you dudes in the next episode I’ve had a realization Oh for goodness sake! It’s not fat, it’s big-boned Not gonna lie SaAaaaAaAnd Very fine Great success! Bird poop Bumbo Cactoni Do you even bust? / Do you even bust bro E Pag

Jevin Hypno smells! Oh my god Sucker What the heck Dude Man I swear

Joe Howdy y’all! That’s the Joe Hills difference! I will now say a poem of my own devising Core concept Keep adventurin’! Time skip! Who’s the guy who conquers death? That’s Joe Hills No not rage quitting I have to pick up my daughter from school or my wife will rage quit me! Grow Hills / Expand Joe Joepacity / Jhost

Keralis Look into my eyes and nothing but my eyes Wanna buy a book? Spank you very much Just sit back, relax, and enjoy Like this, like that I can see my house from here! Bubbles, Shashwammy, Sweetface, Princess Lookie lookie at my cookie / lookie lookie at my cookie… no, please don’t Like-a so I love your face I’m a real boy! I don’t k-nove (know) Not like this! Booshes Clever girl But first… lemme take a selfie I’m sinking… mayday mayday we’re sinking! Hallo yes dis is de German coast guard what are you sinking about? Scary harry larry I’m alayve! Breathtaking — no you’re breathtaking Mm-kay Oh behave I’m a simple man MeOOOow Welcome to my humble abod-ee Not too shabby My face! My palms are sweaty, mom’s spaghetti Tag 2 Booga Booga Stiffy nipples Batman! First I was afraid, I was petrified...

Mumbo I worry about myself sometimes I'm not really quite sure if I like that or not Yeah… yeah that's looking good… I guess… Dude! Chuffed to bits It’s a bit pants I’m such a spoon Oh my word It’s quite simple, really / it’s actually quite simple Bonkers I’ll catch you in the next one. See ya Off you pop Oh goodness me! Hermit challenges — initiation! All done and dusted To be frankly honest Seriously seriously cool Absolutely nuts I don’t even know what to say Iskall I feel sick Peace, love, and plants Moon’s big Mumbo for Mayor Quite simple

Pearl Lovely Bonkers At this point... Cheeky / you cheeky What's this? Mate

Ren Now we’re cooking with gas / we be cooking with gas today Ladies, get in line! / ladies, gentlemen, everybody get in line! You picking up what I’m putting down My dudes Y’know what I’m sayin’ Coming atcha frommmmmm Dude Coming from left, right, and center Greetings cyberdogs and citizens of the Interwebs, this is Ren-diggity-dog comin at ya in another episode from the Hermitcraft server (ey!) Automagically Jazztastic Janktastic Oh baby Like nobody’s business Looking absolutely magnificent Anyhoozle Twaddle Renstone The Octagon is a well-oiled machine! [word]-age [word]-ation [word]-i (to make things plural You love / hate to see it I'm just sayin' / if you know what I'm sayin' Professional __ Jazz Anyhoozle Exqueeze me? Freakin' Some serious __ What's happenin', baby? Chesticles

Scar Scarred for life Woah, what in the world! It’s gonna be am-ay-zing LOOK at the siiiiize of that Well, hello there my fellow miners and crafters, GoodTimesWithScar here. Welcome back to the wonderful world of Hermits and crafting Don’t forget to subscribe or you might just become scarrrred for life! Looking super fancy Let’s hit super fast build mode! Look at the size of that Appreciate ya Hotguy! Operation: Aquathunder! That’s what she said! Rapscallion You silly goose Oh, sweet baby Jellie! Bayum! / Bam! The bee's knees Easy peasy, orangey squeezy

Stress Are you havin’ a giggle? / are you takin the mic? Mate Oh my god / oh my gosh / oh my good gordons Gorgeous Plonker Geezer Ohhhhh nooooo! Yeeeesshhh I legged it Such a pro / I'm such a pro Proper __ Cheeky Bloke Thingamajig Ain't [word]-age [word]-ies

Tango Happy fun sauce -ificator, -inator, -ness, -tastic Skadoodle Fearsome bunny slippers Noob juice So here’s the deal Holding shift Shwoop Flim flam Poop came out Extra dumb with dumb sauce / __ of extra dumb Flee with extra flee! / fleeing with terror! Boom booms Gah! The dungeon is ready for its next victim Behold! Results may vary! I think my math is correct, but it’s been known to be wrong This is the worst timeline. I hate everything Big no! You— you freak of nature! Jerkface Jerkbutt Excellent How embarassing This is true Zombert Bits This I gotta see! Right in the face! [word] is happening Yeah baby! Stupid jerks Boop This is the best / worst thing ever! Niner niner niner [general unintelligible noises]

TFC What in tarnation! Crap-tacular Humongous Butt-ugly Ugly as sin Oh, goody Ender-twits Bugger Oh, fart For crying out loud

Wels Words are hard If you will Super __

xB Aww yeah Mmkay Son of a biscuit Pretty frickin' __ Man Get frickin' wrecked! Chestacle Dang it Staaph it Oy vey Crap on a cracker Dang it, Bobby! Dang guy

Xisuma Oh goodness me Oh dangit Geez Peeps I’m such a derp Oh my days Chooturial Issooma Allo Woa’ah Brought (instead of bought) My dude Achacha

Zed Hello hello hello A-good a-bye Muckin' about I lied TaaaAAnnGoOOooooOOOo Hu-jah! Pretty darn __ Certainly Rubbish I'm [word]-ing [word] me [word]-iness What happens is... Get kersplatted! Epic Oh my goodness!

More Info

So I'm currently writing a HC fic and realized how little I know about some of the hermits (I unfortunately don't have time to watch all of them), which made it really difficult to depict them properly in my writing. I'm assuming at least some of you might also struggle with this, so, here we are!

If you know of a catchphrase from any hermit from any season, comment, reblog, send me a an ask or dm, dm me on discord, whatever works the best :D

Note: when I say "catchphrase," I mean anything a hermit repeats over an extended period of time. It can be something said during a single season (like "You'll speak when spoken to!" or "Hermit Challenges!"), or something that spans their entire careers (like "Aww snappers!" or "Plonker"). I'm not looking for one-off quotes that are never bought up again — there's some great sources (like @hermitcraft-correct-quotes) for that already :)

Sources (which will hopefully expand with time): This reddit post from four years ago This other reddit post also from four years ago Reddit from three years ago This cute diagram A more up to date source Another Xisuma's dictionary on his website HC character tv tropes page This incredible google doc

[ysrjune]

omgomg what abt like reader and sam monroe are really good friends and he like has a thing for her in high dchool but she moves away n they run into eachother in the future AND HE LOOKS LIKE ANAKIN NOW.

(shut the fuck up this is so cute but like sad to me. im gonna sob 💔) also im literally listening to 'into you' by ariana grande, so that's why that's the title, ahaha 😈

Into You ✦

Sam had been a really good friend of yours since sophomore year. You didn't hang out with the same people at all, though. Sam hung out with a couple of druggies and ‘freaks’ while you were paired with ‘normal’ people.

You became friends with Sam because you had the same p.e class with him. He was often left alone and in the corner after walking 2 daily laps. Some guys even made fun of him, but Sam would always ignore them. Even your own girlfriends would make fun of him! You always felt bad for that poor boy.

So, one day you left your friends after walking 2 laps and went to the corner that Sam was always at. He didn't notice you at first, but once he did, he looked nervous. Why was a girl going up to him? The worse scenarios were going through his head. Maybe someone dared you to do that thing were you go up to a random kid and ask them out and if they say yes, you laugh and explain it was a dare.

When you finally stood in front of him, he glanced up anxiously and looked back down, waiting for you to just get it over with. “Hi, Sam.” You sweetly greeted with that charming smile of yours. He only nodded his head to your greet.

“Look, I know you're probably scared im gonna say or do something mean, but please trust me when I say I wanna be your friend.” and sat next to him. He was stunned at what you had said. You were so pretty and had a bunch of friends. Why do you wanna be his?

Sam messed with the stud inside his lip, making his labret move from the outside. “Just cause you feel bad doesn't mean you have to be my friend.” He softly spoke. Yeah, that was the big part of it, but you also believed everyone should have a friend.

It's not like Sam was completely friendless, but he was left out in a lot of his classes that his friends weren't in, and you wanted to change that. “Sam, I wanna be your friend because I think there's more to you than what people think.” He finally looked at you but still kept an emotionless expression. “Yeah, okay.”

And from then on, you bothered him every simple day during pe. You made him walk with you, run the miles with you, literally participate im everything in that class. He acted annoyed at first (which really, he loved the attention), but as time went by, he came around.

Sometimes, you'd ditch your friends to go inside the hallways or classrooms to spend lunch with Sam. You two became so close that he let you meet his mom, dad, step-dad, and little brothers.. and boy, did they love you.

The point has been made. You're close friends. Junior year was the year his biological dad died, but you helped him through it all. Especially with his drug problem. Since the last week of sophomore year, he's had a crush on you. At first, he tried to brush it off, telling himself that it's never gonna happen and to just keep you as a friend. You were the only one who genuinely cared anyway.

Sam had dated some girl named Alyssa for a while, which you hated. She was such a dirty hoe.. there were rumors that she kissed Sam's dad and that she told Josh to lie about never having sex with her, but come on, no one really believes that.

You tried to be happy for Sam, and you were for a little bit until Alyssa had a cow over you being too close with Sam. As a girl who's experienced the same, you understood and stopped talking to him for a while. Only giving him smiles and waves when you'd see him around.

What you didn't know is that when you stopped talking to him, he was really mad at Alyssa. “Alyssa, I love you, but you have to understand that she's the only one who really cared for me before you. I can't just stop talking to her like that. If I never met her, I'd probably would have already been dead because of how fucked up on drugs I was.” But she clearly didn't care.

She was so damn jealous that she wasn't the one who helped him through all that. Not only was she mad over that, but she was upset that you were prettier. Inside and out. She was so toxic with Sam, and everyone knew. His friends told him to just break up with her, but he didn’t want to. That poor boy was too scared.

At the end of 11th grade, he finally broke up with her, though, even though it was quick. All he said was that he was unhappy, and she used him for attention and that it was over. She didn't get a say in it because he walked away right after. And who did he immediately go to? You. He craved you so bad.

You had a boyfriend now, and he was so pissed. That should have been him. He was just too scared to say anything. Always seeing you hugging and kissing all over him was gut-wrenching. That whole breakup was right when the bell rang after school, so he planned to go to his house to freshen up and talk to you.

He knocked on the door around 6 in the afternoon just in case you were eating dinner at 4-5. Your mom opened the door, greeting him with a big hug since she hasnt seen him in so long. Let's just say things were awkward at first between you two at first, but after explaining everything, it was fine.

You gushed to him about Jesus, your boyfriend. Talking about how sweet and handsome he is.. Sam acted happy for your sake, but ooh, he was so jealous.

Stuff went back to normal, and you two became close again really quick. Sam met Jesus, and it went pretty well. Even if Sam was jealous/mad, he saw that Jesus really liked you and seemed like a good guy. What relieved him even more was that Jesus didn't mind your friendship.

“Oh, yeah. I had a homie who was on drugs and stuff. He didn't have anyone to help him out like that, so it's chill that you helped him out like that. I'd never get mad over him wanting to hang out, you know?” Your boyfriend explained one time when he was over.

You lasted with Jesus for a couple of months until the last few weeks of school because you were going to an out of state college. Sam didn't know that was the reason, though. He just saw it as a chance to finally confess. You two were sitting in an empty classroom together at lunch.

“Sam, we need to talk.” You speak softly. “We are talking.” He replies, eating a chip. “No, like. I have something serious to tell you.” His heart dropped. Were you gonna drop him? Did he do something wrong?

“What is it..” You friend replies with an anxious look plastered on his face. “I'm moving after graduation. Like, to an out of state college.” One part of Sam was happy, and the other was devastated. He finally got you back, and now you're leaving?

“Oh, um,” He looked to the floor. “That's great. Uh—not in the sense that, like, I want you to leave, but, you know. It's great that you have this opportunity.” He tried his best not to cry but failed. You two spent the whole time crying to each other, saying how much you'll miss each other.

But you'll keep in touch.. right?

—

You and Sam were bawling by the end of it. He was probably even sadder because it's not like he can tell you he likes.. no. Loves you, because what's the point?

He went along with you to the air port, saying goodbye. Hugging you hard and placing a kiss on your head. “Have a good time, okay? Have fun.” Sam says, eyes all red and droopy.

You nod, kissing his cheek and leaving a faint mark. Before he knew it, you were on that plane and gone. You swore that you were gonna call and visit for the holidays, but guess what! You didn't.

Spring break? No. Thanksgiving? Christmas? His birthday? Nope. He tried calling one time, but the number was out of service. That was the last straw. He was so mad at you.

He got over it after a year or so, too. He pushed himself to be more social and actually go out. His appearance changed, too. No more eyeliner or dressing in dark clothing. He even dyed his hair brown.

—

He kinda forgot about you since even after your four years at college were up, you stayed. You forgot about him too. Your new friends kept you busy all the time, along with your job.

Your look didn't change as drastically as Sam's. Your style of clothing changed a little, and so did your attitude. Back then, you were such a goody two shoes. Now, you go out amd party and break the rules more often. Nothing totally illegal, but you get it.

You still talked to your parents every night. They asked so many times to come visit you because they're getting old (a little dramatic, but it was still true) so you finally said yes after 6 years of not seeing them.

Your cousin had picked you up from the airport, thrilled to see you. She was chatting it up and telling you about everything that has been going on since you left. Then it hit you. Sam Monroe, that emo boy you loved so much probably still lived here. Your cousin knew him back then, too, so maybe she knows what hes been up to.

“Oh, girl. He's like, a totally different person. Dyed his hair, became more talkative.. like, literally. A bunch of girls from high school like him cause they realized how handsome he is, I guess.” She keeps babbling on about him to you. He changed a lot, it seems. But there was no way you were gonna try and go look for him. You knew he was more than likely mad at you for not calling and visiting.

Your parents had invited a bunch of people over for a welcome home party. They were all in the backyard, though. So, you had time to get ready. Sam was left in your mind while you showered and got ready. How different could he really look?

After you get ready, you make your way to the backyard, greeting aunts and uncles, cousins, and family friends, but most importantly, your parents. You were smothered by your mom's kisses and practically crushed by your dads hugs. They missed their little girl.

You drank with your cousins and played party games while the older adults watched and laughed at you, losing almost every round, causing you to face the penalty and take a shot.

By the end of the night, you were so drunk. No memory of what happened that night when you woke up in the morning. Confused in your old room, you groan and whine. A headache was bothering you, and you felt super weak, but you remembered that your dad wanted you to go to the hardware store with him to pick up a few tools.

You knew he would offer to just let you stay and rest, but you haven't seen him in so long and wanted to spend as much time with him as you could. With another groan, you force yourself to get up and shower. You didn't even bother to put on makeup or do your hair.. not even to wear a cute outfit.

Sweats with a baggy t-shirt and a pair of slippers was your choice. Your mom gave you something quick to eat before leaving with dad. The store was close by, so the ride there wasn't too long. Dad asked about everything you did over where you live.

Ex boyfriends, the classes you took, and a lot of other things were talked about, even when you got off the car and entered the store. You talked his ear off while he was looking through the aisles. One thing about dad was that he's never at the hardware store just for what he actually needs.

Normally, he'd tell you to shut up with all your talking because, well.. you're a chatterbox. but this was an exception since he hasn't seen you for a long time. Half an hour passed by before he asked you to go get something for him in aisle 12.

You looked and looked around that aisle for what seemed like forever trying to find a specific tool dad asked for. A groan escapes your throat, and before you know it, you are asked a question by a worker.

“Need any help, ma’am?” His voice was soft and calm. You turned around to see a very tall, muscular man with tanned skin, brown hair, and piercing blue eyes. He was very handsome. So handsome that he left you speechless, and it was sort of weirding him out.

“Ma’am.” He repeated himself, looking slightly uncomfortable. You knock out of your trance and visibly cringed at yourself. “Sorry, um. Yes, I need help.” You respond with a nervous tone. “Yeah? Okay, what do we need?”

“A shovel.” You reply, trying to avoid eye contact. The man laughed a little, shaking his head. “Well, this definitely isn't the aisle where you'll be finding those.” Great, now you look stupid. Did dad send you to the wrong one on accident? Who knows. You just felt really stupid.

“Come on, n/n, I'll show you.” He says and starts walking away. It took you a couple of seconds to realize that he had just called you your nickname. What the fuck? How does he know that? Wait.

No, there's no way. This guy looks nothing like the one you had in mind. “Here ya are.” He interrupts your thoughts. “Oh, thank you,” You squint to look at his name tag. It was him. “Sam.”

“Did it really take you that long to realize?” He snickered and set his hands on his hips. “But I guess I can't blame you, though, huh? I look nothing like I did when you left.” Of course, he had to add that last part. Now you were sure he was pissed about what happened.

“Yeah..” was all you replied while literally checking him out. he didn't mind it. He knew he was handsome. His confidence grew a lot while you were away. “So, anyway. I'd recommend this one.” He quickly changed the topic.

—

He talked to you for a little while in that same spot. About why you left and why you didn't call back—but he was so mature about it. He wasn't angry or sad.. he was just asking like if it was normal. He even walked you back to where your dad was at, and said hi.

It made you smile to hear him ask for your new number. “Just so you know, I'm taking you out tonight, and you can't say no. Pick you up at 8.” He smiles at you. You shake your head and smile again. “Okay, see you then.”

—

errrm part 2 when 🤔

tags, @heartsforanakin @sockiess @radiantvader @anakinstwinklebunny @lunalitva @lvrfay3 🎀

[pricesbeltbuckle]

i needed to share this because who else but you

i cant stop thinking of cowgirl reader and soap together such an odd couple but oh does it feel right (kinda self insert im sorry😓)

Ride Cowgirl, Ride - John 'Soap' Mactavish

You know what anon you’re onto something…I love this dynamic. Pairing: John 'Soap' Mactavish x Fem!Cowgirl Reader

Warnings: None, Fluff

When Soap told the 141 boys he had a girlfriend they all expected a city girl or even another scottish girl.

So when you walked in in your little denim shorts with a tank top and a flannel to cover it topping it off with some cowgirl boots and pigtails with bows at the end it’s the least to say that everyone was shocked.

When they all asked where you were from and you responded in a thick country accent “Oh I'm from Texas!” They all knew they were in for a treat when they heard that accent.

When soap would talk to you and they could all hear you respond it was so fascinating to hear the difference.

“I swear John could talk the hide off a cow.” 

“What does that even mean?” Is exactly Gaz’s first question

“Means I talk alot mate.” Because you had taught soap your slang around 5 months ago he's been used to it.

They all automatically ask the same question “Do you have a pet horse and can we learn how to ride it?”

“Yes I do! Her name is Peanut and yeah I can bring her round here sometime for you fellas.”

One time further down the line when Ghost pissed you off you just yelled at him “Pull in your horns!!” and he looked at you like “🤨”

“Means back off Simon!!” You’d both hear Soap yell from down the hall as he was holding up your favorite snack you ran towards him

“Aw John! I’m as happy as a flea in a dog house!” You’d take the snack from him and skip down the hall somewhere else to see someone else around the base

“She was just hungry, sorry Simon.”

Now I think Price would understand some of your slang just cause he’s a bit of a cowboy so sometimes you’d have conversations with him.

I genuinely think soap is so fascinated with the fact you can ride a horse that sometimes he’ll just watch you and I mean he’ll sit there for hours and watch you for no reason.

He has probably pissed you off once and you got all mad at him southern style and he backed off after that and bought you some flowers and some new bows for your hair.

He flexes you off while off on deployment. if he’s on an undercover mission and a lady hits on him all he’ll say is “Are you a cowgirl who has a horse named Peanut? No? Then keep moving, Lass.” 

Has probably picked up on your slang while on missions

“Quit yer yammerin'.” “Johnny what?” “It means shut up.” Was a genuine conversation he had over the coms with Ghost.

I def wanna do more with this maybe make an AU IDK AHHHH

[ihavethedreamies]

Within an Inch of Your Life | Shownu

Son Hyunwoo (Shownu - MONSTA X)

Rating: M (18+) MDNI!!

Word Count: ~4.6k

Pairing: Shownu x AFAB!Reader

Genre: Reader-Insert, Smut, Romance, Some Angst, Very Little Plot, Very Dirty

!!This is SMUT...if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now. This is lowkey-highkey filth. Plain filth!! Some angst in the beginning but it goes away.

Warnings: She/Her pronouns used, Swearing, Kissing, Oral (M!Receiving), Deepthroating, Fingering, Pet Names (Pumpkin, Princess, Sweet Girl, etc.) Very Dirty Talk, Unprotected Sex (Use a condom or the like. Reader is on the pill in this story.)

Author's Note: This is my first fic, holy cow. I've written others but this is the first I will be posting considering I have well over 200 notes on my Shownu appreciation post. I actually wrote this a few months ago but just go around to making sure everything makes sense. I do not have a Beta…because that was always what I did…I was a Creative Writing Major and since I have never been docked in grade for grammar or punctuation errors, I think I'm qualified.

Uh, you just learned a lot about me just by the fact that I wrote this >.>

I am cross-posting this on Archive under the same name. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on Tumblr my name and icon are exactly the same on the other two sites. Happy reading!

You stared at the ceramic cup on your bathroom vanity, the cheap blue toothbrush glaring back at you. It sat in there amongst your own teeth cleaning products, mocking you. The bright color stark against the black and white of everything else in the bathroom, even your own toothbrush. Reaching out you placed your own that you had just finished using in the cup and grabbed the blue one. Staring down at it, you weren't sure how to feel. It had been a few weeks now, since it's been used. And it never will be again. Blinking, then sighing, you left the bathroom, stopping next to the trash can outside the door near the kitchen. Your foot rested on the paddle used to open the lid, inhaling and exhaling, then pressing down. Your hand holding the toothbrush lingered over the gaping bin. Swallowing a lump in your throat you didn't expect to be there, you gripped the brush tight. Emotion whelmed in you, but you couldn't pinpoint what kind. Were you angry? Guilty? Sad? Fuck it. You harshly threw the brush in the can and let the lid slam closed when you took your foot off the peddle.

"What's with the aggression?" Hana called to you from the other side of the apartment where she was on your couch. She was rubbing sleep from her eyes as she sat up from her sleeping perch.

"Don't worry about it." You were still staring at the trash can, now closes. You heard her bare feet patter on the hardwood floor, and she comes up to you. She blew her nose into a napkin she grabbed from the counter behind the can. You stepped out of the way to let her throw away the used paper.

"Oh." Realization hit her. She saw the toothbrush, which was the only thing in there. You moved away and into the kitchen to get your coffee ready as she took a place on a stool at the counter.

"What even happened?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why did you two break up?" she asked you and you exhaled. Grabbing a coffee mug, you put the cup on the perch of your coffee maker and pressed the largest button. You didn't answer.

"Was he bad in bed or something?"

"No."

"Did he cheat on you?"

"No."

"Controlling? Possessive?"

"No. Not really."

"Then why? You don't seem all that torn up about it."

"It’s a bit of a relief…"

"A relief? Why?"

"I…I was pity-dating him."

"WHAT!?"

"Calm down. He had been in love with me for years, and I felt bad for turning him down so much…Also, I was, frustrated without Young Hoon being here…"

"So, you used him? That's harsh."

"Look, he wouldn't leave me alone, kept asking me out, getting me things. Might as well make it easier and say yes…"

"So, why did you break it off?"

"I didn't."

"He broke up with you?"

"Yeah."

"Why?"

"I told him."

"Told him what?"

"That I was pity-dating him…"

"Fuck. That must have been rough."

"Yeah." You stared down as the swirling liquid in your cup, having stopped stirring the cappuccino mix in.

"I felt so guilty, I had to come clean." You rested back against the counter crossing your arms, somewhat hugging yourself.

"Why? Why not just break up with him? You had to tell him?"

"Yes."

"What made you do that?"

"Because…" Your words get caught in your throat, the realization hitting you.

"B-because. I can't lie to those I love." Your voice cracked and her face softened.

"You fell in love with him."

"Y-yeah."

"Then why not stay in the relationship?"

"I don't want a real relationship with him built on a lie. I had to come clean." You stood up straight, ignoring your drink and going to sit on your bed. You buried your face in your hands, your throat caught as you swallowed, your eyes burned.

"Oh, girlie." Hana followed you, sitting on your bed next to you, and pulling you into a hug.

"I'm such a fucking horrible person." You sobbed, and she rubbed your back.

"I love him. I do. I was in denial. It hit me so suddenly and so hard, I think I must have felt that way longer than I realized. God, forgive me." you cried, and she held you. Her phone went off as your sobs subsisted as she went to answer it.

"Shit. I have to get to class. I'll message you later." She kissed your forehead and gathered her stuff, leaving your apartment. Leaving your cooling drink on the kitchen counter, you curled up in bed and fell back asleep.

~*~*~

"(Y/N)!" Hana slammed her palm on the door, ringing the bell a few times. She knew you were home. She could see your bag and keys on the table through the window. You hadn't answered her calls or texts for three days and wouldn't answer the door.

"Hana?" A man's voice caught her attention and she turned to see Hyunwoo coming up the stairs to get to the second-floor apartment.

"Shownu! What are you doing here?" She quieted her voice, not sure how you might react if you heard. She knew your recent lack of actions was due to the breakup, and your revelation of feelings for the man.

"I was going to get my stuff and leave my key." His voice was noticeably flat, and the woman couldn't read his expression.

"You have a key!" Your friend lunged forward, snagging the set of keys from his hands. She shoved the metal into the lock and opened the door.

"(Y/N)!" she shouted, storming in.

~*~*~

You buried deeper into your pillows and sheets as Hana banged on your door. You didn't want to see anyone, not even her. You felt you didn't deserve her comfort. You were a shitty person who did a shitty thing. You flinched when you heard a key in the lock, wondering who the hell was there. Hana didn't have a key, and only your aunt did as the landlord. You had given the second key to your ex…to Hyunwoo.

"(Y/N)!" The other woman's harsh shout broke the silence you had been dwelling in. You hoped your uncle was there too, who else would have let her in? You are jarred to attention as your friend yanked your comforter off of you and the bed.

"What?" you snapped, and she climbed on the bed, flipping you over and forcing you to sit up.

"You bitch! You left me on read!" She put you in a playful headlock and ruffled your unkempt hair. You had showered, but a hairbrush? Who is she? You shoved Hana off, and she got off the bed, stomping away. When she came back you heard another set of footsteps along with hers, too heavy to be your aunt.

"The only way you are going to get over this pity party you threw yourself is by telling the truth!" Hana snapped, dragging your now ex-boyfriend into view past the half wall that separated your sleeping area from the living room. He stood there, staring at you. You wouldn't meet his gaze. Hana moved into the kitchen, looking in the fridge and hastily writing stuff on your grocery list pad.

"I am going to go buy you food, you two better talk!" She pointed at you sternly, then at him, and then left. You are left in silence with him.

"W-why are you here?" Your voice was scratchy, your mouth dry.

"Came to get my stuff." He nodded toward the dresser drawer where his stuff was.

"Ah." You licked your chapped lips. You hadn't drunk or eaten much in the last three days. He could tell, he knew you well. He left your direct line of sight and went to retrieve a bottle of water from your fridge. He came back and jutted it into your face. You took it, not meeting his eyes. Your small sips turned into big gulps, the cool liquid a sweet relief.

"What was Hana talking about? You telling me the truth?" Luckily, you had swallowed before he asked so you didn't choke. Closing the bottle, you threw it further up your bed. You brought your bent legs up, your knees touching your chest. You chewed on your thumbnail, not knowing how to start.

"You wanna tell me why you broke my heart?" His tone was harsh, a tinge of sadness in his tone. Your breath caught, the stinging in your eyes came back.

"It would have hurt less if you just broke up with me. But telling me you only dated me out of pity? I love you; I have for years-"

"I had to tell you."

"Why?"

"I couldn't keep lying."

"Why not? You had been doing it for nearly seven months." His voice was sharp with anger.

"I-I cannot…" You swallowed a lump, fighting to not cry, "I cannot lie to someone I love."

You're not sure what his reaction was, you didn't look up at him.

"What?"

"I couldn't keep lying to you. I love you-" You didn't even get the chance to work up the courage to look at him. His hands went quickly to your jaw, hauling you close, up and out of bed. His lips found yours. The kiss was different from all those before. You could feel how strong his emotions were. He was rough, domineering, barely letting you breathe. His tongue wrapped around yours, sucking you in. He was practically bent over you, being nearly a foot tall, your neck tipped back far to make up for the rest of the distance. You whined, your hands gripping his shirt from under his jacket. Hyunwoo swallowed you and every little noise you made. As he pulled away, he bit your bottom lip, the tang of blood hitting your tongue. He stepped back abruptly, running his hand through his hair.

"Fuck. Don't play with me." He shook his head, and you sat back on your bed.

"I'm not. I didn't…I only realized a few days ago how I felt…"

"What am I supposed to with this, huh?" He paced a bit, roughing his hair up.

"Do what you want. Whatever you decide…" You drifted off, not sure what you wanted him to do. You wanted him to kiss you again. But you felt you deserved him leaving and never talking to you again. You felt he should break your heart, like you did him.

"Part of me wants to walk out of here and never think about you again." He finally said and the words pierced you. A tear rolled down your cheek.

"Another part of me wants to give you another chance…" You closed your eyes, willing the tears back.

"But there's something else I really, really want to do." You heard him come closer but refused to look at him. You gasped as his hands dug into the hair at the nape of your neck, pulling your head back, making you look up at him.

"W-what?" His lips were so close to yours and while you're not sure what he wanted to do, you wanted it too.

"Please, whatever you want." You whispered, but his lips didn't meet yours. His tongue doesn't stroke yours. His mouth went to your ear…

"I'm going to fuck you within an inch of your life." You gasped at his words, then found yourself briefly in the air as he threw you back on the bed. Hyunwoo tore his jacket off and finally brought his lips back to yours. His strong thigh jammed between your legs, rubbing against your core, covered only by your thin shorts. His large hand ran down your thigh, hitching it up to his and he grinded his growing hard on into you.

"Fuck." You whimpered as he pulled away from the kiss, a trail of saliva connecting your lips. He stared at you intensely till he dipped back down, He latched onto the weak point on your neck, under your jaw, almost your throat. His mouth sucked hard then he bit the flesh making you shiver. You lay there and let him do whatever. He left scathing kisses, sucking bruises onto your skin. They were everywhere: your neck, shoulders -once your shirt was off- your chest, breasts, ribs, stomach. He avoided anything covered by your tiny shorts, giving you more marks on your inner thighs. Your skin was on fire, and you didn't think you cum with just that stimulation, but you were close.

Hyunwoo sat back on his knees, pulling his t-shirt over his head and never before had you been so enthralled. Your type was normally guys that had a dancer's body and were pretty, nothing like him. He was devastatingly handsome and while you normally wouldn't care for the taught pecs, ridged abs and sharp v-line of his hips…He truly did look like sex incarnate.

You wanted to sit up, reach for his belt, pull his pants down and let him fuck your throat. But he was in control, entirely. You weren't exactly ever a dominant lover, not really even a switch, but this time it was wholly up to him what happened. Your mouth watered at the sigh for the first time though, your romantic feelings fueling your sexual ones. He undid his belt and removed his jeans, his hard cock tenting his boxer briefs. Was he always that big?

"Something wrong, pumpkin?" You could hear the smirk in his voice. Due to your previous feelings, or lack-there-of, you never really gave him a good look. He was just your brother's stupid friend. You were getting a real good look in now.

"Y-you, uh…" Your mouth watered.

"Wanna taste?" He gripped himself over the fabric and you nodded quickly. He huffed in amusement. Despite the fact you loved a dick in your mouth, you had never done it to him. Didn't let yourself, lest you get hooked. He motioned with his head for you to come closer and you crawled across the bed to where he stood at the foot of it. Your bed was the perfect height to allow your face to be perfectly level with his cock. You let out a whimper and he titled his head, watching in amusement. With shaking hands, you reached for the waistband of his boxers and carefully pulled them off. Your mouth watered as he was revealed to you.

"Fuck." You exhaled, watching his dick bob in the air as he stepped out of his underwear. Wiggling your jaw back and forth, you thanked the stars that so many strep-throat tests as a kid killed your gag reflex. You couldn't believe that he had been inside of you before. It made you wonder if your stomach bulged from his girth.

"You just gonna stare?" He stepped closer and you scooched the little bit closer you needed to. Wrapping your lips around the head of his cock, Hyunwoo exhaled in relief, and you groaned at his taste. You rolled your tongue around him like a popsicle, and he tipped his head back with a sigh. Without going much further than the tip, you sucked hard and pulled back. This made him bury his hands in your hair to prevent you from going anywhere.

"What?" He tilted your head to look up at his face.

"Fuck me. My mouth." You cleared your throat, and he blinked in shock before a devious smirk broke out on his handsome face.

"Really? You sure?"

"Please, please-" You opened your mouth as wide as you could, and he slowly thrusted his dick into your mouth. The deeper he went the more saliva built up in your mouth, starting to drip. The head reached the back of your throat and he moved to pull back his hips, but you stopped him. Your hands flew to his behind, pulling him closer.

"Fucking hell, (Y/N)." His voice had a hint of a whine to it. He was the perfect length. Your nose hit his pelvis, his cock buried in your throat, but not too deep. While somewhat restricted, you could still breathe when he would pull back; that fact made your walls clench, aching to be filled as well. You shuffled a bit, splaying your knees more, lowering you just a bit. This let him angle his cock down a bit more and you looked up at him expectantly. He practically growled at this and began to thrust into your mouth. Tears spring to your eyes; you weren't sure if it was from what he was doing or the fact that it was happening at all. Drool dripped down your chin, tears from your eyes, and wet from your cunt. You wouldn't be surprised if when he came -down your throat preferably- that you too would climax. His thrusts picked up some, got shallower and his grip pulled at your scalp. The slight sting from your hair, the fat head of his cock battering your throat, and the taste of his precum was sending you into overdrive. While not one for sado-masochism or bondage, a little pain was nice. In the back of his mind, Hyunwoo marveled at the fact that you had not gagged yet. He was too focused on the wet vacuum of your mouth to think about it too much though. The sight of your lips swallowing his swollen cock over and over was orgasmic in itself, but the looking your eyes was what sent him over the edge. They were glazed over in pleasure; you already looked so fucked out.

"(Y/N), can I come inside?" He grunted out and you moaned, wanting nothing more.

"Ah fuck." His hips stuttered and you felt the hot, thick cum spray down your throat. He was so deep you almost couldn't taste his release, which…Just. Kept. Going. You swallowed what seemed like over and over and over before he was done.

Hyunwoo pulled out slowly, his cock still half-hard. You caught your breath, finally getting a normal amount of air. Your core was quivering, and you knew you had cum as well from the amount of wetness stuck to the fabric of your shorts. That and your head was swimming.

"Oh, princess." He shook his head, breathing hard himself. You peered up at him with a dazed look and he had never seen you like this. He had seen you close to like this once, your true submissive nature blooming forth. He knew you would let him do anything he wanted, and man was there a lot he wanted to do to you. He had promised to fuck you within an inch of your life, and he was going to make good on it.

"What do you want me to do to you now, sweet?"

"Anything." You keened and he groaned. Then he remembered something. While you had never said it before, he knew you had a thing for hands. You had told him once he wasn't allowed to wear rings because it made his fingers look too good. How easily would you fall apart on his fingers? How many times could he make you come tonight?

"You still on the pill?"

"Yea."

"Good." He hadn't brought any condoms, not thinking this was going to happen when he left his apartment this morning.

"Scoot up." He ran the back of his finger over your cheek, still damp from tears and you scurried up the mattress. You lay back as he climbed over you; he watched you watch his hand move to your core. He raised an eyebrow as he stroked over the fabric of your shorts. You tended to get very wet very easily, but this was much more than usual.

"Did you cum?" He asked and you nodded sheepishly.

"Oh my god." He dove in, latching onto your lips, not caring that you had just been sucking him dry. Your teeth clacked against his from the messy kiss. His kisses moved from your mouth, down your neck and he settled on your throat again. You were already littered with hickeys, but he was ready to leave more. As he marked your further, he pulled your shorts off roughly, a slight ripping noise coming from the seams. He tossed the last piece of your clothing away, you never slept with underwear on. Finally, his fingers touched your bare pussy and you whined.

"Oh (Y/N)." He chuckled, burying two fingers in your hot cunt, his thumb finding your swollen clit. You released a long shaky moan, clenching around the digits. He found your weak spot quickly and your hips tilted up, your back arching. You wanted desperately for him to pull his fingers out and fuck you with his delicious cock already, but you refused to say anything. This was for him; he could do whatever he wanted to you, and you would thank him. How had you not realized that this man was the sexiest one on the face of the earth? The pads of his fingers rubbed against your g-spot in just the right way, and it was driving you crazy. His two fingers moved separately, the way they curled and thrusted making the sensations unpredictable. He added a third and spread them, getting you ready for his huge cock. You could feel the strength in his hands, you felt his knuckles rub against your walls, and his palm grinded against your clit.

"H-Hyunwoo!" Your hands landed on his chest, your nails digging into the skin, your release building faster than either of you expected.

"Cum for me, sweet girl." And you did. The breath was knocked out of your lungs, flashes of white dotted your vision. You heard him chuckle, but it sounded like he was far in the distance, rumbling through the air and cutting through the ringing in your ears. When you came down from your high, your vision sharpened and you saw him smiling down at you. He came closer, bumping his nose against yours, touching his forehead to yours.

"I love you." he whispered, and you hitched a sob, reaching up to cup his jaw. Your thumbs stroked the arch of his cheekbones.

"I love you too." He kissed you softly, his fingers leaving your pussy. His hands cupped your thighs, hitching them up to wrap around his waist. You pulled back from the kiss with a gasp as he stroked his cock against your cunt, fully hard again. Hyunwoo knew he was teasing you, rutting against you, covering his dick in your wetness but refusing to enter you.

"Please, please, please." You began to beg; you weren't even close to ashamed. You needed him inside of you, rearranging your insides, carving himself into you, ruining you for everyone else. His hands came up to yours that were still on his cheeks, wrapping his fingers around yours, and pinned them up by your head. With great dexterity, he shifted his hips and began to slip inside of you, still holding your hands. His lips hovered over yours, not quite meeting, your mouth hung open in a silent moan as he split you in half. Not only had it been a while since you two had sex; you hadn't gotten yourself off either. No fingers, no vibrator, nothing. He groaned as he settled deep inside of you. The head of his cock almost touched your cervix, your walls gripping him tighter than they ever had before. Your legs held him close, your ankles linked, it seemed your body refused to let him go. He just sat inside of you, giving you small kisses, letting your walls get used to the stretch. His cock was so deep, it felt like he was in your throat and the delicious burn of the stretch was addicting. It never felt this good before, you used to think the idea sex felt better the more you loved the other person was bull. No. You were in euphoria, and he hadn't even moved yet.

"Can I move?" he asked, resting his forehead on your collarbone. He really just wanted to fuck you into the mattress, but he wanted this to last as long as possible.

"Yes." you gasped out, preparing for him to knock loose your kidney but he barely pulled out and then slowly thrust back in, grinding his pelvis into yours. Even this slight movement knocked the wind out of you. The next thrust was a bit faster but just as shallow and his breath mixed with yours as he hovered over you. Not pulling out any further, his hips pumped hard, and you threw your head back. Hyunwoo moved his hands from holding yours to wrapping one around your wrists. His free hand moved to your lower back to shift you some. With your legs wrapped around his waist, when he sat up on his knees more your butt left the bed; he handled you into a near mating press. Somehow, he got deeper, and you knew if it was a thing, your cervix would be bruised.

"I don't think I can hold back anymore." He grunted; his eyes closed in concentration. What the hell were you in for if this was him holding back? He had never taken you like this before. You 'made love'. This, this was him fucking you, like he promised.

"Do what you want." you pled. He had stopped moving and you desperately needed him to keep going.

"You have anywhere to be the next few days?"

"No?"

"Good, because I don't want you to be able to walk when I'm done with you." He gave you a devious smirk, pulling away to rest back on his heels. His strong hands dug into the flesh of your thighs where they rested at his side, holding him to you. You let him move them and exhaled harshly as he forced your knees to your ears, completely and easily folding you in half. Still not moving his hips he leaned down so he could speak right into your ear.

"That pill better work good because I'm going to pump you full of my cum." He thrusted, hard. If your breath hadn't left your lungs, you would have nearly screamed. It wasn't a shallow hard thrust like before, no; he pulled out nearly all the way before slamming back in. You could tell how tight your walls were clenching him, desperately trying to hold him in. Not able to tell what part of you wanted him more -your psyche, your heart, or your cunt- you just knew you never wanted him to stop.

"Hyunwoo-" You weren't sure if you could say anything but his name, but his next thrust stopped all thoughts.

"I want my hand shape to be bruised into your skin." He clenched your thighs under your knees.

Another thrust.

"I want to brand you with the feeling of my cock in your cunt so only I can ever satisfy you."

Thrust.

"I want to fuck you on every surface of this apartment." As he recited every filthy desire straight into your ear, he pounded his fat cock so hard into your pussy, you thought he would split you in half.

"I want to paint your skin with my cum and then fill you back up again in the shower."

"I want to fill every part of you that I can. Your pussy, your womb, your mouth, your throat. If you let me, I'll even bury my cock in your ass and paint you white there too."

Your head swam with each word. He was always so sweet and soft before. This was different, he had turned into an animal, and he was determined to fuck you like one.

"I'll do it all. Everything I want. I promise, I will fuck you within an inch of your life."

Masterlist

[dozing-marshmallow]

Hi 👋 , could you write a fic of chris and wife! reader visiting his homeland of newfoundland and meeting his family. (btw you're like the #1 chris fanfic writer on this app, keep up the amazing work!!)

#1 Chris fanfic writer is a MASSIVE compliment, thank you so much!😳 this is a new request, but my brain was suuuuper fixated on it, so I hope you enjoy!💗

CHRIS MCLEAN AND WIFE! READER VISITING NEWFOUNDLAND ONE SHOT

We're heading down to Newfoundland That rocky eastern shore!

That song’s been stuck in your head since you found out Chris was taking you on a private trip to his homeland.

You kiss his cheek,“You were such a sweetheart for bringing the contestants to your childhood home, Chris!”

He didn’t see what the deal was,“It’s nothing. You get to meet my mom and know Jerd a little more. The rest of the family aren’t important.”

“Hold up, Chris.” your grave sounding words draw him away from the window,“That sentence doesn’t feel right.”

“What do you mean?”

You weren’t gonna comment on Chris devaluing the position of his other family members, since it was his family, it was his business,“Well, we’re married... Doesn’t that mean I should’ve met them during our engagement or at the wedding?”

“Uh...” he chuckled,“There’s a reason why it’s us going to them, (Y/N).”

You put the pieces together,“I won’t ask anymore.”

Without Total Drama, this visit was a lot more ordinary yet unfamiliar. The smell of marine clogs your nostrils and seagulls’ squawks still active at this time of day clanged your ears.

Chris knocks on the barn door of his old home, opened by an auburn haired woman in a matter of seconds. Wrinkles lightens her face, almost like they mainly came from her constant joy rather than age as demonstrated with her loving greeting to Chris, making her title in his life clear.

Your anxiety in making a good first impression was compressed when she called your name more cheerfully, wrapping her arms around you,“Welcome welcome, I was wondering when Chris would finally bring ye home! Look at ya, Chris was right when he told me he married a bonnie lass!”

You looked at him for help. What did she say?

“She means an ugly cow.” by that look on his face, you knew he was teasing.

“Ohh patch aht, Chris! Ye ken what I meant when I said that.” his mother scolded him, turning back to you with a smile,“I meant yer a fine woman, love! Maybe too good for my wee Chris here.”

“Mommm...” now he knew how it felt hearing something dislikable, pouting at her,“You don’t mean that.”

“Aw stop yer whinin’, mac, it’s been a long time since yer introduced me to somebody I liked, hasn’t it?” she nudges him gently with her knuckle, addressing both of you,“Come in, I’ll fetch the Screech!”

Here was what the rest of the contestants didn’t get to see. A warm cabin-like house where most of the walls and stairs were made from logs. A lot of fish decor and though there wasn’t much interior walls, it was easy to tell where the kitchen and living room separated at. It was strange that Chris had not lived here for a long time, yet his scent was still so fresh among the furniture.

“Your mom is so nice, Chris!” you exclaim to your husband, looking around the well kept lounge, with three sofas and a coffee table,“You didn’t tell me she was so cheerful.”

He chuckles, shrugging,“Now you know where I get my smile from.”

And you recognised a duplicate of that smile in a photo frame, a teenage looking boy standing next to a woman who had a big resemblance to his mom. Both of them looked forward to the camera, appearing to be outside on a warm crowded day,“Was this you?”

He looks at it and nods,“That was on the final day of high school. It’s weird looking back on how I used to look without my stubble. I was still a hunk either way!”

You look at another frame, above the fireplace, of another younger Chris, dressed in a grey sweater and his hair medium cut. He looked about seven here,“Aww.. And this was you as a little boy. Your face was so round.”

He admires it,“It sure was. I remember shortly afterwards, I lost my first tooth.”

Then caught your eye, a time where he didn’t have any teeth: his mother, with much more frizzy hair and large hoop earrings, holding a baby close to her chin. They must have been at a beach, the woman’s vest being an appropriate choice for those outdoors.

“Aww, you were such a cute baby...” even with the low quality cameras had back then, you could still make out the the docile face Chris once had. You beamed at how he started off in the world as this beautiful baby boy.

He grins at the petting compliment,“The best thing on the planet was once so small you could pick him up in your arms!”

That’s still possible, but anyway! It was very clear his mom loves him, with a lot of moments of his childhood put up on show in her living room- you were happy that your husband had such a good relationship with one of his parents,“You love your mom a lot, don’t you?”

“How can’t I? She’s an amazing woman who’s done a lot for me. Probably the reason why I have some humanity left in this calamitous heart.”

Said woman returns back with a tray of four bottles of Screech,“Jerd should be here in ‘bout two shakes! Leave that bottle for him.”

“Thank you, mom.” though, he proceeded to walk out,“Bladder’s full.” Ah.

In the meantime, she invited you to have a seat on one of her comfy beige sofas. You decided to use this time to ask her some questions,“So... Ms McLean-“

“Katherine, dear!” your mother in law interrupts you kindly.

Your appreciation rose. She was as pellucid as when she first saw you come with Chris,“Thank you, Katherine. How long have you lived here in Newfoundland for?”

“Been living ‘ere before Chris was born! This is where his dad’s from and he wanted to stay so I figured I ought to come live with him.” Katherine replied, taking a sip of her Screech.

“Wow! And your accent is still very fresh.” you make an obvious comment on her heritage.

“Well lass, when yer getting old, it don matter where you are. Your roots will always wanna come back up to enjoy the review of yer life.” she winked,“I have learnt a bit about how these people in Newfoundland parts talk though! For example, they like to say “‘Ow’s she cuttin, me cocky?” as a way to say “How are you, my friend?” Funny, isn’t it!”

Your face stretches in surprise,“I never would have thought that was how they asked how you’re doing! Though, these kind of idioms are what makes cultures so beautiful and unique, right?”

“For sure!” her amused smile tones down to a very welcoming one as she put a hand on your shoulder,“Aw (Y/N). I really wished I was there to congratulate ye on the wedding day. I woulda loved to seen you in that lovely white dress.” her smile folds away, almost like she was lying to you...until she added,“My Christian on the other hand had to go looking like a pure bampot with all that gel he keeps using. Woman to woman, dae ye dig it?”

Before you could answer, her son returns to the living room, not pleased with the first words his embarrassed ears encountered,“Of course (Y/N) likes my hair! I totally looked way more gorgeous than I normally do on the wedding day, and that’s beyond science! Have you seen the photos?”

“Oh I saw everything.” you knew this was his mother for her to not be fazed at all by his self absorbed utterances,“That don’t mean ye should be using that damned gel every day! Dae ye ken what will happen if ye keep going? Yer gonna lose all this nice hair I used to comb for ye everyday and yer gonna be as bald as a nickel! And I know that’s not what ye want, but I canny tell ye what to dae, it’s yer life and I’ve done me part as yer mom while ye were a wee bairn.”

Chris didn’t like being told what to do, but he made very few exceptions to people’s advices, like from his mother,“Okaaaaay Ma... I’ll lay off the gel every two days. Happy?”

She kisses him apace,“That’s my boy!”

On cue, the short cousin arrives, looking identical to the first time you saw him from third season, in his sun coloured raincoat to his fiery red beard.

“Jerd!” Chris goes over to his ginger relative and clasps hands with him,“How you been?”

“Well, b’y!” he keeps his large genetic smile as he saw you,“Ah, the pretty lady! ‘Ow's she cuttin', me cocky?” he miraculously asked, enthusiastically shaking your hand.

“Best kind b’y, thank you!” never has been a better time to be prepared!,“We saved you a bottle of Screech.”

Jerd notices and he grabs it off the tray immediately,“Cheers! I’m just ‘bout gutfounded for some of this good o’ stuff!”

You weren’t thirty minutes in your stay at Newfoundland, but you already decided. You needed to visit them more often.

[weministertomonsters]

𝐕𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐭𝐡

The healing power of a vampire lies not in their blood, but their teeth. The extraction shop is brightly lit to combat the night outside, and it smells of old blood and a strange, musty smell that comes from the tiny jars filled with single fangs behind the counter. Those jars go for crazy prices, as you can see from their labels.

The young shopkeeper leans on the counter and frowns as you track mud on the floor as you step in. His hazel eyes flick up to meet yours, a little disdainful. You wince at the full assault of his handsome face.

"Sorry for the mess," you say, your countryside accent comes in strong. "I came straight from the night market."

"Yes, yes," the shopkeeper grunts, returning to carefully polishing empty glass jars. "What can I help you with?"

"My mother is terribly ill, and the doctor said nothing more can be done for her. I'm here as a last resort," you announce, keeping your chin high even as he stares at you doubtfully.

"Miss, you don't look like you have a penny to your name," he says, running a hand through his sleek, short black hair. "I wish I could offer help to everyone who needs it, but I have a business to run."

"Oh, I'm not asking for charity!" You tell him with a small, embarrassed laugh. "Isn't there any other way I can pay?"

"Unfortunately not," he replies crisply. "I can run this store perfectly on my own."

"You misunderstand me. Again." You decide to stop beating around the bush and take your chance with the truth.

You push up your sleeve slightly, turning your arm so your wrist is facing upwards. No other words need to be said. The shopkeeper licks his bottom lip and glances warily at the door of the shop.

"Did anyone see you come in?" He asks.

"No. I am discreet about it," you say firmly. "Please? For the price of just one fang."

He drums his fingertips nervously on the counter.

"Fine," he says. "You know how much to give?"

"I know my limits, yes. I assure you I can walk out of here without a twitch in my step. If I go against my word, you are free to throw me out onto the street."

"Very well. Do be careful, he may be weak, but he is cunning," the shopkeeper says. "Go now, before someone comes in. If there is someone here when you come back, act as if you are under my employ."

"Understood."

He lets you step behind the counter and through the back door, which leads down into the basement which is almost entirely dark, save for a single candle that is about to gutter out.

The shop above may look clean and sparkly with its jars of polished white fangs, but the setup below is paltry. There are enough cells to hold three vampires if the shopkeeper were to be so lucky. As it is, there is only one bloodsucker huddled in the far corner of the cell. The metal door is ajar but even if the vampire wasn't chained, he would not have had the strength to walk out by this point.

Giving vampires blood from the vein is illegal, and that is why extraction shops had to find other means of feeding them, usually with blood from cows. Vampires need more substantial fare than that, so no amount of cow's blood could sustain them for long. They withered and faded into nothing soon enough, dying off eventually.

You're not sure if this one is alive, and considering that vampires do not need to breathe, he has turned into a statue of sorts.

"Hello," you say, and adjust your volume when you hear your voice echo back at you.

"I have no fangs to give," a dry voice mumbles from between the vampire's knees. "They have not finished growing back."

"I'm not here to extract any," you murmur and step warily into the cage. "Can you bite me if you try?"

"No," the vampire replies, lifting his head to see who he is talking to.

His eyes take you in and he frowns.

"You're no extractor."

"Like I said," you huff. "I told the shopkeeper I would give you blood from my vein in exchange for a fang."

The vampire's eyes flood with red when he hears this, and he makes a keening sound in his throat.

"Come then," he demands, crawling towards you, his chain rattling after him. "Feed me."

You back away strategically. When the chain goes taut and you are out of his reach, he grows frustrated, grabbing the empty metal bowl he is fed with and flinging it at you.

"Do not lie to me!" He hisses. "Worthless human brat!"

The ruckus brings the shopkeeper down.

"What in god's name are you doing to him?" He demands as he descends the stairs. "You promised discretion!"

He enters the room, but you're nowhere in his sight and the vampire is raging in the cell, screeching and hissing curses as he pulls at his matted hair in wild hunger.

You emerge from the shadows with the hefty stick you had tied to your leg and concealed under your dress before you came to the shop. You swing it at the shopkeeper as hard as you can, just as he is turning to you. It connects with his face with a sickening crack, and he slumps to the floor, stunned.

"I will be needing more than one fang to keep my mother alive," you whisper, leaning over him. "This is the only way I can do that. Forgive me."

You hit him again on the head, and he groans and his eyes flicker shut. You lean over him to make sure he's still breathing, your heartbeat racing from exertion and from being so close to him. He smells nice-such a pity.

You straighten up and go to the vampire, who bares his blunt teeth at you. His fangs are barely peeking through his gums and are useless.

"You liar," he growls.

"Not quite," you say, and go to him, pressing a blade to your palm until the blood wells up steadily.

Despite his weak state, his grip is surprisingly strong as he snatches your hand up, forcing you onto your knees on the floor with him. He presses his lips to the source of the blood, groaning. He has lost the healing agent in his saliva, but you can still feel the slightest itchy tingle of your flesh trying to heal. You flex your hand to keep it open, counting the seconds down until you deem he has had enough to sustain him without making him stronger than you. Then you tear your hand away.

He tries to grab your arm, but you slap him across the face and stand up, putting some space between the two of you.

"That's enough!" You snap. "Unless you obey my instructions, I will leave you chained here to continue your miserable existence."

"Please," the vampire says, wiping the blood from his chin and then licking it off his fingers. "I'll do whatever you say, just take me from this place."

"We will have to sneak out the back door," you tell him. "And you will have to stick very close to me. Try anything funny, and I will use my stick on you. See this sharpened end? I will not hesitate to plunge it into your chest if you behave wildly."

The vampire blinks up at you.

"Very well, human," he rasps, possessing none of the charms a free vampire would. "I will do as you say."

He brings himself to his feet and comes to stand more than a head above you. Your only savior is his weakened state, otherwise, he could easily have you, and both of you know this.

You go back to the yet-unconscious shopkeeper to pat around for the keys to unlock the shackles on the vampire. There is a chance that as soon as he is loose he will take the risk of fleeing by himself. You make eye contact with him as the key turns in the lock of the first handcuff, and the second. You crouch down remove the shackles from his ankles and pause. He is now completely free.

The evening wind blows in through the tiny window in the corner and the shopkeeper groans as he begins to come to, but the vampire stays with you.

[nameless-12345]

The Blind Date

(Part 2 of “Pet Sitting”)

“Come here, Cupcake.”

You dismount Crystal’s face and crawl over to your Master, sitting at his feet.”

“Good Girl, you and I are going out today.”

While you grin up at Master, basking in his attention, Crystal and Daisy make out somewhere behind you.

“I have a blind date arranged with one of Daisy’s friends. Her name is Mira, and Daisy misses her. So, Daisy asked me if I would make her friend a Good Girl. That way you can all play together!”

“Oh that’s wonderful Master! Will I get to meet her today?”

“Of course, my little dummy. That is why you are coming with me. After 30 minutes, you will come over and help me guide Mira into the car to bring her home.”

You are over the moon with glee. Master wants you to help him today!

“Now go get dressed in the outfit I picked out for you. And make sure you thank Daisy for helping me set up this date.”

“Yes, Master! Thank you so much!”

On your way to your room, you give Daisy a kiss and pinch her right nipple.

“Thank you for introducing Mira to Master, Daisy. You are such a Good Girl!”

Clothes are lying on your bed.

You get dressed quickly and look yourself over in the mirror. The dress is orange with little leaves embroidered around the neckline.

Crystal helps you with the clasp of a white ribbon choker with a bow in the front.

You detach the small gold bell that often hangs below the bow, since you will have to pretend you aren’t a needy little pet for a little while.

Unfortunately, you also have to return to Master without crawling, so you don’t get your white thigh high socks dirty.

“Aw, you look so cute. Do you like the outfit I picked out for you Cupcake?”

Of course you do, Master is very talented at dressing up your adorable self!

Master gives you a brief kiss on the top of your head before taking your hand and guiding you to the car.

…

It’s been 30 minutes since the blind date began and the alarm on your phone chimes.

While you were waiting, you contemplated how nice it was of Daisy to corrupt her friend.

Surely you know someone that could benefit from Master’s control?

Good Girls make more Good Girls!

Grinning slightly to yourself, you scan the outdoor seating of the cafe.

Spotting Master and Mira, you approach slowly, checking for signs that Master needs you to wait longer.

Receiving no signals, you sit next to Mira at the secluded picnic table.

She is stunningly beautiful: black curly bob, pouty lips, and generous cleavage.

“Mira, this is Cupcake. She is my kitten, and a very good girl. You want to be a Good Girl too, don’t you? You want to be my newest pet.”

Mira has a dazed smile and nods. So cute.

“Master likes it best when you answer verbally, Mira.”

“Y—yes Master…”

She looks so sweet, lost in Master’s words.

You tuck some of her hair behind her ear.

“Good girl, Mira. Will you follow Cupcake into my car while I pay clean up?”

“Follow… yes… yes Master.”

You gently escort her into the back seat of the car before taking a seat next to her.

After you are both buckled, you hold one of Mira’s hands in both of yours while you wait.

…

During the ride home, you rub soothing circles on Mira’s hand.

Daisy comes to the door and holds it open for the three of you to come inside.

Now that you are home, you remove your white loafers, replace your choker with your collar, and set your kitty ears on.

Master already has Mira on her knees in front of him.

“You are my pet now, meaning you will now have a pet name. From now on, you are Nellie the cow.”

Nellie opened her mouth and you furrow your brows, thinking she might protest.

Instead, she moos.

“Good girl, Nellie!” You say, proud of her acceptance of Master’s decision.

“Yes, good cow. Let me see your udders Nellie. They must be so sensitive: good little cows need their udders to be played with frequently.”

Nellie mooed in what seemed to be desperation before stripping her dress and bra.

“Good cow. Daisy and Cupcake will play with you. Meanwhile, I will need to order some toys and accessories for my new cow.”

You finally get to latch your mouth on Nellie’s tit. Nibbling, sucking, and licking.

Daisy plays with the other.

While getting hornier and hornier, Nellie grinds her desperate pussy into the floor beneath her.

Just as she gets to the edge, you stop.

You know Master will want to be the first to make her cum.

“Good pets! You know exactly what I like. I am glad you showed restraint. Now you can go make each other cum like the fuckpets you are for the rest of the day.”

You scurry away happily, and get back to playing.

Master fucks his new pet, showing Nellie just how good it feels to give up. To give in. To be a good pet. To be a Good Girl.

Thank you to the anon who requested this part two! I am quite happy with how it turned out and I hope you are as well. 🐾

[huachengslastbraincell]

So, today I saw this yt short of a woman who's talking about her Arabian husband who when told that they were out of organic honey went out and came back with 10-11 big gallon bottles of honey and a whole honey comb.

And I was like that's such a Cyno thing to do?

Like you can't tell me that Cyno wouldn't be over the top with showing his dedication to his family, even if those acts of love may be a little excessive.

Because if I can think of one man from Genshin Impact that when asked to buy milk from the store would come back with a year worth of milk and a cow, that would be Cyno.

And he would be so nonchalant about it all.

Tighnari is equal parts stressed, amused and endeared.

Tighnari would tell cyno that his favorite tea was running low and ask if he could go to the store to buy some more and General Mahamatra will come back with two 1kg bags of tea and oh, while he was out he also bought a plot of land in Liyue where the said type of tea is harvested and yes it is under Tighnari's name.

Now suddenly Tighnari is the owner of a tea business.

He just wanted his damn tea.

Collei would say something about wanting a new type of equipment for her bow or a particular book she would like to learn how to read and boom the next day she would have the said equipment or the book, but guess what the book was from a series which has 11 other books so Cyno buys all 12 books plus they are all signed by the author.

I just want to say that Cyno would be so unhinged when it comes to spoiling his family and I think that's so great. that's it

(Also imagine the poor author being woken up at 3 in the morning by a very murderous looking General Mahamatra, please don't mind him that's just his default face he means no harm, asking them to sign the books for his daughter.)

[miistymemorii]

And Then There Were Three

josh kiszka x fem!reader

rating: E for Everyone

warnings: nothing srs, dad!josh fluff :,)

"Joshua?"

"Yes, my darling?"

"We're going to get pulled over."

He hummed from the front seat, gleefully ignoring your words. He shook his head slightly, "Sweetie, there is literally a newborn baby in my car. She is 4 days old. I am NOT going over 20."

You groaned, but any frustration you felt towards your well-meaning boyfriend melted away at the small baby sleeping peacefully next to you. A beautiful baby girl, Juniper, the culmination of you and Josh's love for each other. After hours and hours in labor, your nine months had paid off, and now was the return home. Karen and Kelly had spent every day in the hospital with you, keeping you and Josh company and spewing out advice. Jake, Sam, and Danny had promised to stay away for the time being, letting you and Josh get settled into your new life for a few days before taking on their typical uncle duties. She was asleep for now, but you knew this peaceful silence could end at any moment. It was one of the first things Karen had said when you announced your pregnancy, "That's going to be one loud baby."

Thankfully the drive from the hospital was relatively short, albeit a little longer this time because of Josh's cautious driving. He brought the car to an achingly slow stop, gently closing his door before coming over and opening the back car door. There was a moment when he paused, looking down at your daughter with wide eyes then back at you. "Can you get her, please?" he asked quietly.

You rolled your eyes, laughing. "Joshua, I just gave birth. Please get the baby out."

He stood there, his hands moving around the car seat, trying to find out how to take it out.

"Joshua, your mom showed us how to do this three times-"

"Ahah! Got it!" His face contorted into one of his classic goofy smiles. He gingerly lifted it up and out of the car while you got out on your side.

He whisper-shouted over his shoulder for you to just leave the baby bag in the car, that he would get it later. You made a beeline to the couch, sitting for a moment as your legs were still a bit weak. Josh had disappeared to Juniper's room and you could hear him shifting around in there, no doubt laying her down in her crib. You smiled, closing your eyes and taking a deep breath. You had done it, and Josh had been there for every single step. You thought you were the luckiest girl, having such an amazing person by your side.

The moment of bliss was interrupted by an eruption of crying, shrilly and loud. There was a quiet hiss, followed by Josh muttering soothing phrases in an attempt to calm down your daughter. You groaned and willed yourself to stand, padding your way to the baby's room. You paused in the hallway, leaning against it, your arms crossed. Joshua was holding your crying baby against his chest, now rid of a shirt. Little Juniper was still crying, though a little quieter, her sobs echoing off her father's chest. Josh's eyes were closed, focused on humming softly to her in time to his small, soothing bounces.

You could've died, right there, perfect and happy. You were overcome with emotion, the sight in front of you making your body run warm. After a few moments, the tune of the song rumbling in Josh's chest had lulled your baby back to a sense of calmness. She sniffled softly and Josh opened his eyes, looking down at her. He gently began to lay her down in her crib, grinning down at her in affection. You came up behind him, snaking your arms around his middle.

In each other's arms, you both stood there, looking down at your precious Juniper. Josh, of course, had suggested the name, and you had completely been on board with it.

"She has your nose."

"Oh, really? She has your baby cow eyes."

"Baby cow eyes? I think you spend too much time online."

You chuckled softly, poking his side. "She's perfect."

"Absolutely."

You and Josh sniffled in sync, Juniper's eyes staring into your souls and tugging harshly on your heartstrings. You knew how much this baby meant to Josh, how proud he had been of you, claiming he was "honored" you had chosen to have a baby with him.

There were a few low buzzing sounds coming from Josh's back pocket. He reached around to retrieve his phone, reading the texts he had been sent. "Family group chat. Mom told Ronnie we were home and she's demanding to know when she could see the baby." He chuckled softly, shaking his head and tucking it back into his pocket.

"They could come over tonight, if you want?" You suggested. "She can sleep a while then meet everyone. Tell Danny he can come too."

You took his hand and led him out of the room, but he stopped, one foot still in Juniper's bedroom. He stared at her crib, sniffling again. "She's perfect. So perfect." He turned to you, placing a kiss to your forehead, his arms pulling you against him. "Perfect."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @wagnerkiszka @canyonmirrors @spark-my-nature

[pianostrings]

Rebel Moon Part Two: The Scargiver Spoilers!!

- I AM HURT

- Really liked the camaraderie moments between the team, particularly with Tarak and Titus, and with Milius. I feel like there could have been more. Tarak was definitely carrying those moments.

- Nemesis my love!!! I was not expecting to be so emotionally affected by her backstory and performance! The parts with that little Aryan kid were so cute 🥺

- There were so many shots of them harvesting the grain lol. They really got their worth planting that field of wheat.

- But also they really could have dropped the grain talk at some point. I don’t think that dreadnought really needed it... They could have just sacked one of the other planets they recently visited if they needed food? Or stopped by one of the other planets on the way back to the Motherworld? This wouldn’t have bothered me at all if they didn’t keep bringing it up

- The five days deadline really felt like it could at least have been two weeks or something. They really needed more than a few days to teach the villagers how to fight.

- Some of the dialogue was a bit stilted. Like. “Remember when I told you all these things from the first movie, well, here they are again in case the viewer hasn’t seen part one?”

- Sam and Aris. Heart eyes motherfuxker!!!

- Kora’s tragic backstory!!! I knew it was a let’s stab Caesar situation but I was really hoping it wouldn’t be Kora involved in actually killing anyone. Issa 🥺

- “I forgive you.” “Don’t” 🫠

- The hurt on Kora’s face when Balisarius and the senators are screaming at her. AND I just worked out why they made a big deal about her being an offworlder. Balisarius needed the assassin to be an offworlder to continue invading other worlds

- Ok but why was there a live orchestra at the assassination… shouldn’t they want fewer people present as possible?

- I don’t know why I didn’t realise Jimmy was short for James 😭 But when Kora kept calling him James, it was giving parent calling child by their full name vibes

- Gunnar and Kora ❤️💔

- I’m getting vibes from Cassius and Noble… like gay vibes. Cassius feels a little too devoted to him?

- Noble not falling for Aris’s charade at all lol

- I didn’t get the Noble doing an Olivia Colman accent in the first movie but it’s really obvious here.

- Those woven blankies Sam made for everyone were so cute

- Everyone in that village was indistinguishable from each other. I really felt nothing when those peeps were getting shot down

- I did breathe a sigh of a relief when Sindri oop I meant Hagen Sindri got bonestaffed in part I was shown to be OK though. Can’t shoot the old guy.

- Den just got yeeted off a ship after an admirable admiral-killing attempt 😂 RIP. No back-up love interest for Kora.

- That last hour of action was so flipping good

- Jimmy’s entrance & stare down moment 😏😘

- The moment between Kora & the Kali when it’s eyes opened.

- I didn’t mean to laugh when Gunnar went sliding past Kora when the ship was tilting but I kinda did lol

- Also when Noble said “fucking farmers” I was like lol are they allowed to swear in this cut. I swear that was the only swear word.

- Kora killing Noble again was so satisfying

- “Why can’t I have this one thing?” Nooooo how dare you 😭😭😭

- (Someone should wellness check the Michiel Huisman blogs btw)

- Devra rocking up. Yes girl thank you 🙏🏻

- Gunnar’s burning heart flag at the funeral. It hurts.

- Kora owning up to her identity and Titus just being like, yeah.

- That reveal was. Holy cow. Does that mean Balisarius is keeping Issa in a room somewhere? 🫠🫠 Is her life force being used like the Kali??

- The soundtrack. Phenomenal. 10/10. No notes.

- I need the extended cuts

- I NEED PART THREE!!!!!

- And yes, I know we probably aren’t getting it but please Netflix 🙏🏻

- (Have I mentioned I am hurt??)

[windslar]

THE BOLD THE FACTS tag by @helenofsimblr

The Rules are simple! Tag people and name a character you want to know more about! If you want to let the person you tagged decide who to showcase, then don’t name a character and they can pick somebody. Easy! The person who is tagged will then bold the remarks below which apply to their character &, if they want to, include a picture with their reply!

I was tagged by @jonquilyst and @moonfromearth who both requested answers for Zadie. Thank you so much for the tag and I'm sorry this took literal weeks to post. Also sorry my queue's run out of Lightflower posts, but I'll be back to posting again soon once I have my poses and such in order.

Zadie Flores-Darling

[ PERSONAL]

$ Financial: wealthy/ moderate / poor / in poverty -- (she's poor now as an independent young adult in the city but she comes from a privileged background [her mum, lucia, made bank being a bestselling author!])

✚ Medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable

✪ Class or Caste: upper / middle / working / unsure / other

✔ Education: qualified / unqualified / studying / other -- she's a high school graduate

✖ Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet / yes, but charges were dismissed -- nothing major, just the typical teen rebellion stuff in a small farm town like trespassing the creature keeper's house to see if he had the good mushrooms, vandalizing a cow shed, underage drinking and drug use, disorderly conduct at a 21+ club during a school trip to San Myshuno...

[ FAMILY]

◒ Children: has children / has no children / wants children

◑ Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased

◔ Affiliation: orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parents / not applicable

[ TRAITS + TENDENCIES]

♦ extroverted/ introverted / in between -- Zadie is an ambivert who loves to be the centre of attention when she's performing, but feels most creative and expressive when she's alone writing music

♦ disorganized / organized / in between

♦ close minded /open-minded / in between -- I mean, she's so open-minded that she can be a little short-tempered with people who are close-minded

♦ calm / anxious / in between -- confident but intense, which can read as either calm or anxious

♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in between

♦ cautious / reckless / in between -- you ain't seen nothing yet

♦ patient / impatient / in between

♦ outspoken / reserved / in between

♦ leader / follower / in between -- classic Aries

♦ empathetic / vicious bastard / in between -- she's sensitive but she bites

♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in between -- doesn't let anything stand between her and her dreams

♦ traditional / modern / in between

♦ hard-working / lazy / in between

♦ cultured /uncultured / in between / unknown -- knows music inside and out

♦ loyal / disloyal/ unknown

♦ faithful / unfaithful/ unknown

[ BELIEFS]

★ Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic

☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes/ no / don’t know / don’t care

✮ Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

✯ Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

❃ Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

✧ Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious

❀ Philosophical: yes / no

[ SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION ]

❤ Sexuality: heterosexual/ homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual

❥ Sex: sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless

♥ Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable /naive and clueless / romance suspicious

❣ Sexually: adventurous/ experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious -- while she was with Suzy, they experimented a little but Zadie respected her girlfriend's boundaries and they never went ~all the way~

⚧ Potential Sexual Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all

⚧ Potential Romantic Partners: male / female / agender / other / none / all

[ ABILITIES ]

☠ Combat Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none -- she's skinny but she can throw hands

≡ Literacy Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none -- her mum's a bestselling author so it's in her blood; it explains why she's such a terrific singer-songwriter

✍ Artistic Skills: excellent (musically, she is gifted) / good / moderate (other forms of art) / poor / none

✂ Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none -- she's a master with the guitar and has the voice of a fallen angel

[ HABITS ]

☕ Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently/ Alcoholic

☁ Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / Chain-smoker

✿ Recreational Drugs: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict -- she's currently looking for like-minded city friends so she can partake in said habits

✌ Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess

☻ Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater

$ Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic

♣ Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently/ compulsive gambler

I want to tag @aurorangen for Renee, @dustbon for Basil, @thaplumbob for Malia, @duusheen for Jay, and @marmidas for Poppy. Feel free to ignore if you've already done this or don't want to.

[itsyagurlchip]

٠ ˚ ※ ๋࣭  ᯓ⚝ ⋆ .˚✰Hell ofa Ride٠ ˚ ※ ๋࣭  ᯓ⚝ ⋆ .˚✰

✰⋆⁺ warnings: crack(!) I'm mean full on (!) moxxie's pov(!) cussing(!) like some real vulgar things(!) singing(!) reader is aro/ace coded if u squint(!) Moxie being a theater kid(!) guns(!) blood(!) y/n is being used (😱)(!) gore(!) I probably gotta go to church after this-(!)

✰⋆⁺Maybe I just want to loose my mind, or possibly vent. Arentcha tired of bein nice? dontcha just wanna go apeshit?

✰⋆⁺ You may have been afraid before, but you aren't anymore. LETS FUCK SHIT UP!!! I wonder what caused you to snap? Better yet, how do we put you back together? hell if I know 🤷🏾‍♀️.

On the news Katie Killjoy announced:

"Welcome back to the news!!"

"Yes- and here we are! My name is-" Tom suddenly got pushed out of his seat.

"No one gives a shit you pussyfart!!" Katie lashed out, with her arm stretched out to Tom's direction.

"On this cockblocked day we have the weakest shit you can find! Nothing more than a shooting at Straight Pride Square!!" (I wonder who the hell named that) "Take a look!" she said, as the camera zoomed in on reader and Blitzø shooting up a candy store, stealing a many treats as they could.

The camera zoomed even more on (Y/N)'s face to show how hard they were laughing. The TV turned off.

"Oh dear! What's going on with them? They're usually so kept together- and, you know, peaceful! dare I say shy!" Millie had walked in the room, bringing a cup to her lips as her brows furrowed in concern.

"Id blame the boss" Moxxie says, "I'll be back honey" He sighed as he stood up and walked to the door.

"Love you Mox! Don't die ❤️" Millie cheered!

"actually do it fatty" Loona demanded.

And he was off! into Imp city he goes! Adventurous as he was, Moxxie did have to admit he was feeling some fear,

'but not onto the brink of cowardice!', Moxxie recited in his head. His finger erected (hehe) into the air as he thought to himself,

"I gotta keep moving!" The thought of finding his shy friend filled him with determination. Moxxie marched on forward, head up and feet dodging and sidestepping nasty liquids!

The walk was getting a bit boring- so why not sing a little improv?

I save dick by giving it cpr~

let's watch-

HOLY SHIT! A car zoomed past him at Max speed! phew! that was close...-!

*POW POW POW*

Dear Satan? is that-!?

*more gun sounds*

Unholy cow, it is!!!

"(Y/N)???!?!"

The demon was on a shooting spree, gunning left and right everywhere they could.

"Oh, hey Pussy 😁👋" They replied back, swinging the machine gun around. Moxxie brought his hands up immediately.

"T-thats n-not my-" *GUH GUH GUH GUH (please pretend these are gunshots) * "-name.." The imp cowered out.

"Don't give a fuck🙄. Anyways- look at what Blitzø taught me 🤪" (Y/N) said as they brought the bazooka to the sky, spinning in a circle as she kills off atleast 30 flying creatures.

"um- (Y/N)? w-we should probablygobacktotheofficebeforesomethingbad-"

*BOW BOW BOW*

The new gun they had sent powerful sounds, as well as blows, to anyone in a mile radius. Their hair flew back as the impact from the gun expelled as much air as the reader pleased.

"Uhhhh- yea, imma go-"

"OH NO YOU DOING YOU MAN WHORE! COME AND GET SOME ACTION!!!" Blitzø suddenly arrived, throwing a few shotguns at the poor man. *BANG BANG BANG*

"YEA 🤩 GET IN ON THIS ACTION 😝😝(PAUSE)" The reader added on, getting a double homicide as a couple died by their will.

"yo ass fat gurl! lemme get a piece" someone in the background, who definitely doesn't matter, slid unattractively. Man, where did he come from?.

It didn't really matter, they were gonna die anyway. You then mumbled to yourself in irritation, noticing you missed a shot to that cannibalistic grandma you hate.

"Damn hag...Also- to whoever said that, your mom's a hoe 😌" They said, instantly piercing a bullet into the exact person who said that. His body fell from a roof with a splat, with some of the blood landing on Mox's face.

so that's where he was hiding. huh.

"YEAH, THATS THE SPIRIT (Y/N)!!!" Blitzo yelled as he strategically headshot 10 people in a row. He threw a few more bags of ammo at you, to which you caught, as he cackled and crankled at the chaos surrounding this part of the city.

"so, why are we killing people? I mean- we weren't payed for it, so-" *POW* Moxie just barely missed the opportunity to duck as a thick bullet slightly grazed his striped horns.

"SAY SOMETHING ELSE MOX POX 😡😡I DARE YOU 🥸🫵 SAY ANOTHER WORD AND YOU GONNA SEE A NEW LIGHT, AND YO WIFE IS GONNA SEE A NEW SPOUSE 😏😼😼" You shouted, pointing your weapon at him and thrusting your hips at the air.

"But I thought you were-!?" A gun from the background aggressively clicks. "I- ok..." Moxie fearfully replied, getting the dirty work done before he lost the love of his life as well as his own.

bullets pierced the air, as well as bodies, into the red sky, and onto the deep red ground. no one was safe from the reader's wrath. which is ironic because they're in the pride ring.

A few hours later, the 2 imps and the demon finally started their treck on home. that is if you can count shaking in a petrified way while being carried by your boss as walking.

Moxie started to theorize on why you had such a change in behavior, especially one like this! Did you have stinkmeaner's essence within you? were you perhaps a relative of the hateful spirit??? Have you unlocked something truly destructive to this hell???

And somehow you figured out how to speak with emojis? What the hell!!? That's a theory for another day.

Because that's just a theory. He couldn't prove anything even if he wanted to- Heck, Lucifer himself wouldn't even believe his words!

Man, it was a helluva ride. A ride Moxie never wanted to go on again.

(๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و tags: @kittykittyanon @radicallxser @oleander-nin @towomatos @thealphagirl @ziipzeepzop-eez @amorvincitomnia-14 @spongejuice.if you would like to be added, check my blog.

[j0kers-light]

Hiii, I just wanted to give you my thoughts about reader who goes by the nickname puppy instead of bunny.

I know Joker is so bunny nickname coded but just hear me out, super nice and friendly reader! almost too clueless for her own good, making friends everywhere and just having like a million of extra activities just so she doesn't get bored, having a few hobbies every week and when Joker realizes and buys her a lot of stuff so she has the best material to work with, she has already dropped them because it was too boring! reader who can eat any type of meat and loves burgers, salad? what is that?

"J, I already told you grass is for the cows, don't give me that, where are my chicken nuggets?"

Have you seen how dogs pick everything their owner gives them (Maybe a stuffed animal) and they carry it to their bed because they think that no one can touch it there so they have a lot of stuff there? That's her, Joker has found too many weird things there (His purple tie, Joker's last favorite candies, a HAMSTER???? I hc Joker is afraid of rodents so he would never look in her bed if she adopted a new pet, right???)

She plays dumb most of the time like. "Oh, your name is Frost? No, I'm sure it was Tom, you have changed it, haven't you?" Like YES SHE DID KNOW YOUR NAME IS FROST.

Y/N just likes everyone thinking she is dumb because then she can do anything she wants and just get away with it, people genuinely thinks she is dumb but of course she is not, she'd say she has forgotten the names of her co-workers but then will tell you anything you want to know about their life as if she had learnt it by heart.

I also hc her being bestfriends with Neo and Mac, like REALLY friends and Joker is so jealous about it.

Mac is funny, really is, and sweet. He gives good advices so she tells him everything she knows she can't tell Joker (Her pretending to be dumb just for the fun of it causes people to think she is dumb and after some time her coworkers start laughing at her face and criticizing her behind her back, she does feel upset and she even cried infront of them once or twice :((( ) She tells him the kind of things she knows she can't tell Joker because he'll kill them.

Mac has to tell Joker because he is actually forced by contract, and she refuses to talk to Mac ever again, and surprisingly Joker is the one who has to tell reader to quit that because he knows thats his henchmen make her happy.

And Neo is just fun! He goes with her to parties and lets her drink, he is the one who plays ONE with her at midnight because she can't sleep at Joker's hideout and she doesn't want to wake him up because she knows J needs to sleep.

She kind of has a sibling bond with them and Joker knows he can't break it because it'll make her feel too upset.

She is the little sister, of course, always running around the hideout and getting herself in trouble because she knows that the other henchmen can't do anything to her, then hiding from Frost Neo and Mac because they do.

She is the kind of reader who doesn't care about what Joker has done, its not to her so she doesn't care, other people are mean and bad.

But if J hurts an animal (ofc by accident, he is not THAT type of monster) Then she won't talk to him in WEEKS.

She has a heart of gold and its not like she doesn't have self love, but she knows Joker doesn't mean the ugly things he says to her so she won't leave his side nor get mad.

But she really is sensitive, she gets upset easily.

Joker has to remind her to drink water because if she is running around with Neo she forgets, she only cares about catching him. (She doesn't have a chance but when Joker glares at him he has to slow down)

I think she works at a museum, probably, girl loves history. (Joker has noticed she has a weird crush in Napoleon Bonaparte???) Or maybe she is a teacher, history teacher at highschool.

But the cool type, the type that is always making activities with them and never does an exam.

"Hey, J, you think you can find me 60 cardboard for tomorrow? Need 'em for work." And he is like ??? Its 11 p.m. on a saturday night Y/n what do you expect him to do????

She also tried to paint Joker's face with a black marker while he was sleeping.

Reader leaves doodles in post-its around the house for him to find, when he asks about it she plays dumb again.

Joker would love to make her go really dumb (blink blink) so she stops playing that card.

She really likes hanging out with Frost to be honest, and he has kind of warmed up with her, now she knows his favorite color and she keeps buying him blue things (I don't care, his favorite color is blue in my mind) He politely acceptes her blue bottle caps.

She managed to know most of the things she know about Joker herself, how??? she would never tell you ('Politely' asked Frost, we don't know what she did to him but he is still scared of her today) She never tells Joker that she already knows what he is telling her, that would be mean!

She is a sweetheart but managed to shoot Batman in the leg when he was beating up Joker.

Neo didn't know when she had 'borrowed' it, but she told Joker that she knows how to use guns because her father was a hunter and taught her.

Joker takes her to a few easy missions, she doesn't know whats going on most of the time but is happy to be there, oh but if someone TOUCHES Joker, she'll bite their necks off (I SWEAR)

J likes to think she is as crazy as him, maybe she is but won't tell him.

GOD THIS IS TOO MUCH IM SORRY

*blinks in shock*

I didn’t even know you could write that much in the ask box… wow. I don’t think I should say anything, you already summarized your point 🥰