#yes i have a lot of characters who look/act younger than their actual age.. i am simply projecting | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

deathnguts · 1 month

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Spare some rabastan lestrange for the needy pls🤲 (i’m the needy and i’d like to know what you think about his dynamic with his brothers)

Sigh, fine I’ll guess I’ll spare some pennies. Thank you for the ask! This is kinda scatter brained and kinda focused on Rodolphus to like parallel/paint how the brothers are together with they are separate and yeah I dunno I threw up

So usually I internalize whatever @florsial (formal apology to you pookie, Im about to act out of line 🫶) says about Rabastan because we tend to agree on things surrounding him but I think we definitely view Rodolphus differently. Which is fine, he barely exists as a character and I think it’s just representative of how we fundamentally view sibling relationships differently. Like I don’t know what it is with me, but I feel the need ti make every sibling relationship I write for either fanfiction or my own work complicated as hell.

So Rodolphus Lestrange. I think he’s a lot like Orion Black. Like he probably even looked up to him kind of when he grew up, (which is kinda funny because Rodolphus probably isn’t much younger than him if at all considering my headcanon that both walburga and Orion were young when they had both their children to kind of get it out of the way) and you can see that in like a lot of how he just is. Hes ‘stoic’ but actually just doesn’t feel a lot of emotions and doesn’t pretend he does, he’s probably like a hair away from being an alcoholic but he doesn’t drink because he knows that (unlike Orion who is very much an alcoholic), hes antisocial and physically annoyed around people because he doesn’t understand why they are as ‘efficient’ as he is and looks down on all of them.

He’s very work oriented, so much so that he doesn’t really have a life outside of it at all. He’s always been the twin the family knew to count on and he always liked having the title so he never had a rebellious stage or any real anger towards his expectations beyond being tired at the end of a particularly grueling work day. I think the only work hes expected to do that he actively doesn’t work towards doing is producing heirs. He doesn’t like kids, he thinks they’re loud and messy and they get in the way of a schedule. It’s like the only thing him and Bellatrix agree on since she also wants nothing to do with kids. (Also quick note on their marriage, I think they pretty much ignore each other and that’s their idea of what they’ll be like forever. When in public together they put on the ‘better than you’ couple mask but in every other scenario they live completely separate lives and actively avoid each other or they’ll find something to fight about.) like the general vibe I could sum him up with is, yes he’s Rabastan’s twin, but everyone who’s ever talked with him assumes he’s like a decade older and just aged well.

So to contrast that with Rabastan, who was never really expected to be anything and never proved anyone wrong, he’s the sort of kid his mother defends no matter what but he father actively tries to forget about. The exact sort Rodolphus looks down on. He can’t help it’s his brother, he’s still below him. And that would be easier to accept if Rabastan stopped proving it over and over. He had to act out in school, he had to move where mother couldn’t find at seventeen, he had to preach to the family that they were ‘immoral’ or whatever, and then he had to preach it to a child, and then he had to marry the child. Like, Rodolphus isn’t a good man by many means, but his lack of feeling or empathy towards people gives him a more head on view of them. And his head on view of his brother is that he’s useless, dramatic, and so desperate to be anything he’ll lie to a little girl to get her to view him that way. And not to say Rodolphus is any better since he witnessed first hand what his brother was doing, he literally walked in on the two hiding away to make out in a corner when regulus was still fifteen and his brother was the same age as himself and just turned back around and never mentioned it to anyone. A truly good person probably would’ve done something. Good thing that’s not what he’s trying to be.

(Also unrelated but I wanna circle back to a point @florsial has that I love about how Rabastan and Regulus are a couple who tries to nuclear and domestic but fails, I feel like that’s a joke on its own especially in this context. The idea that Rodolphus is the nuclear working man so Rabastan must parallel him by being a family man, he just isn’t. Yes he’s closer with his wife than his brother is, and yes that could be something he has over Rodolphus but pretty much no one in their family is proud of Rabastan for his teenage wife and it’s not like their perfect or anything.)

Rodolphus has probably told Rabastan he thinks this only once since he’s usually content to be quiet about it. He probably broke and yelled about how Rabastan will never be anything ro even get his shit together and it won’t matter because no one has hope he will and it hurts because Rodolphus was never given that leeway and it must be fucking nice to have. Rabastan probably doubles back with how much it must be nice for anyone to give a shit about you, to not only exoect things from you but love you even more when you deliver. They probably kept fighting until Rodolphus, as always, gets tired and shuts it down and goes home.

Because even a man who feels nothing has breaking points, especially when Rabastan keeps fucking pushing for one. And that was their relationship a lot of their life, I think. Rabastan desperately wanting to be seen and Rodolphus who is willingly blind. When they were younger that was ok, little kids before hogwarts just played together until father came to take Rodolphus away, growing boys at hogwarts who slowly drift apart when one doubles down on academics and the other found there’s more to do (and not for lack of desperate trying on the seconds behalf.) and then they’re grown up and neither can place what really happened. They’re sure they used to love each other, at least they think so. And they don’t know what happened, because something must have happened. Right?

Yeah I dunno it’s hard to continuously explain but I think what’s tragic about them is that it’s needless. Rabastan could try ti be better and it would not only help his relationships but himself, Rodolphus could try ti be more and he same would happen to him. If either brother were better at being human then they would be better at loving each other. But they’re not, so they can’t.

#sorry to tag you twice florsial you’re just so inspirational #they’re both such failures damn #rabastan lestrange #rodolphus lestrange #Lestrange twins #bellatrix lestrange #trans regulus #regulus black #regulus arcturus black #orion black #the soldier and the violinist #rabastan x regulus #regulus x rabastan

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literallymikewheeler · 1 month

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sometimes i wish that the hunger games movies were casted a little differently. do not get me wrong, i absolutely adore jennifer lawrence and josh hutcherson !! their acting was perfect and felt so incredibly real !!! however, i feel like it was harder for people to truly understand what the entirety of the games were, with how much older they looked compared to their actual age in the book. most people in the cast were in their 20s/30s during the filming of the movie, while in the book they were a lot younger. as seen in the "if it werent for the baby" scene; as humans, we sympathize a lot more with the younger people are. specially babies, kids and teens. yes, the movies did show how disgusting and horrible the games were, however, they did not exactly tap into a lot of peoples "they are just kids" mindset. one of the most memorable parts of the movies, however, is rue (and prims) death, which is one of a kid played by a kid. aka: the "they are just kids" mindset. if katniss, peeta, and gale were casted as they were in the books (16, 16, 18) they (being both the movie writers and the audience) would have focused more on the horribleness of it all, rather than the "love triangle" the movie tried to create to get more viewers. this also goes to show about the fact that people seem to dislike katniss' character for being too "mean" and "rude". in the books, we see a scared, traumatized kid, while the movies see a scared, traumatized adult (yes, i know she was a kid in the movies too, but a lot of people see her as jennifers age at the time, which was in her 20s) and as much as we should treat trauma equally, many people tend to show more sympathy, and understanding of the actions for kids with trauma then adults. this goes for gale as well. in the books, even if you dont like his character, you will be able to somewhat sympathize with him and understand how complex he is (+ this only applies you have common media literacy !!) while in the movies, we see an adult making all of his "mistakes", and think "well, he should know better!" if it were an 18-year-old boy in the movies who had just watched almost all of his district die, having to choose who to and who to not save, and then immediately get manipulated by coin (all while struggling with his grief, and anger towards the world) people would have understood him a lot better. while in the movies we get "prim reaper !! haha !!" "peeta is so much better ! i hate gale !!" (i was going to end this rant here, but i have one more thing and im done, i promise !) a lot of people will only watch the hunger games to talk about how hot, or attractive they find the characters, completely missing the point. these are kids. they are not some character whos whole point of being is for your visual approval. i will see an edit of finnick (i know he isnt a kid, but the point still stands) and the caption will be something like "i need him so badly" "on my knees for this man", and all i can think about is how many of you guys are just proving suzannes point. especially when it comes to finnicks plot, and what he went through because of snow at only 16. i will see people talk online about how much they love this ship, or about how attractive they find this character, but i rarely see anything talking about the actual point of the games (this is mainly only the nonreaders though) the movies completely went over half the audiences head, and i think that is similar as to what happened with tbosas too ("omg ! president snow is so hot !!") suzanne is just going to keep writing books and keep making them in movies, until everyone can finally understand the point of it all.

#i literally have nothing to add #holy guacamole i wrote a lot #oops !!#when i get started on something im passionate about #i hope people actually take the time to read this !!#the hunger games #thg #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #finnick odair #johanna mason #primrose everdeen #rue barnette #gale hawthorne #hunger games #everlark #odesta

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ouatnextgen · 3 months

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If Descendants characters were apart of the next gen, what do you think their relationships with the other next gen would be (assuming they were the younger siblings of the next gen).

This is finna be a looong one.

Obviously all the siblings love each other, and all the older siblings are protective of the little ones, so I tried not to be too repetitive with the details.

The Mills:

Henry:

He has so many siblings now, oh god

Bobby is slightly more of a handful than he's used to, so he (and Lucy) keep him on his toes

Henry always asks Regina if he was like that as a kid, and her answer is always a smug "Yes"

Bobby likes spending time with Henry's other families (ie, his own and the Swan-Joneses)

Evie's a lot quieter, so he appreciates that

He's very protective of Evie specifically

She could ask him for the moon and the stars, and you know that Henry would find someway to bring them down for her.

Roland:

He knows damn well that Bobby looks up to him a lot, so he tries to put on his best act when he's around

Unfortunately, he is more susceptible to The Eyes than Henry is, so Bobby ends up getting away with waaaaay more stuff with Big Bro Roland

Like Henry, he is also very protective of Evie, and will be the one who teaches her how to kill a man when she's older

Basically, Evie is their little princess, and you don't wanna fuck with her

While Evie doesn't like camping, she will tolerate it when she goes with her father, brothers, and sister.

Robyn:

Robyn's just glad she's not the baby anymore lol

She's the least busy of her siblings, by default of being younger, so she's the one who gets to babysit Bobby and Evie when the adults are busy

She and Bobby like to practice archery and eat dirt together or whatever it is kids do

She's never been very girly, so she and Evie have trouble bonding at times

The Nolans:

Leo:

Leo likes hanging out with little kids, so he never minds babysitting Chad

He's very bossy, however, and seems to be allergic to fun, so Chad doesn't like it when he babysits

Leo can also be kind of preachy about the rules, so Chad will end up getting more lectures from Leo than their parents sometimes

Despite the minor animosity, Leo always wants to be a role model and someone to look up to for Chad

He likes to teach him sword fighting and archery, even when Chad has zero interest or skill for those things

Beck (I can't pick a name for this kid, for now it's Beck):

He and Chad go together like two peas in a pod

Beck's sarcastic outlook paired with Chad's optimism make a fully rounded duo

Beck encourages Chad to commit Crimes, and Chad is the Voice Of Reason

The Hermans/Boyds:

Alex:

Alex is pretty chill with Chloe

Alex feels like a disappointment to their parents, so she is kind of worried that Chloe might be their "replacement"

Chloe basically hero-worships Alex, and dyes her hair blue like how Alex dyes theirs pink

In the future, Chloe ends up being a jock instead of a girly girl, and she and Alex bond over their mother not knowing what to do with either of them

Charlie:

He and Chloe argue (a lot)

Charlie hates sports, and Chloe hates boring nerd junk, so they don't get along

They are the epitome of "only I'M allowed to make fun of my sibling!" If anyone else makes fun of either of them, they get the wrath of the other one

The Briarwoods (Aurora's Family):

PJ:

PJ gets along fine with both Ariana and Audrey

He and Ariana specifically love to banter back and forth, which is hilarious to witness since Ariana wins 99% of the time

He will have tea parties with Audrey and dress up like a princess, and he will slay whichever princess dress she forces on him

Arabella:

The girls aren't actually triplets (Ariana isn't even their sister), but they're so close in age and act so similar, that they're always called triplets

They all love princess stuff, and adore being actual princesses; they all want to move to the Enchanted Forest and have balls

When they get older, they sing a different tune, but stay close

The Swan-Joneses:

Henry:

He has so many siblings now, oh god

Harriett has given Henry a lot of gray hairs; more than Bobby, almost as much as CJ

He likes playing pirate with all of the kids

He always calls Harry 'Killian Jr.'

He's the one who bought CJ her red leather coat, to be more like Emma

He spoils them so much (The Mills kids too, but Regina already spoils them a lot) and always brings them gifts when he visits

Alice:

She loves having such a big family and so many little siblings

She shares her love of books with Harriett, stargazing with Harry, and painting with CJ

She's the sibling that gets sacked with babysitting duty, but she never minds

Hope:

Hope is the "cool" sibling, aka, she lets them get away with more shit than Henry and Alice do

She's part of the reason CJ is Like That

For whatever reason, she's Harry's favorite sibling, which sucks for her, since she's not a fan of little kids

The Golds:

Gideon:

Ben is very quiet, so he'll tag along with Gideon everywhere and no one will even notice

Gideon and Ben have a book club between the two of them

He feels kind of weird that Ben still has that "my dad is the best" attitude, but doesn't have the heart to tell him the whole truth

They tell each other everything, and despite the age difference, are very close

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eustasskiddsprosthetic · 4 months

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feeling silly may delete l8r

Hey! If anyone's curious, I've worked on developing my merman au more and I've decided to have age difference. So, what if dilf Law is surrounded by some younger, gorgeous twenty-something mermen? I've decided to put on my thinking cap and write some notes on how their individual relationships look like.

Luffy's the youngest bro like he is barely hitting his twenties. He's the one who shows Law cool fish and random things Law never knew existed. "Law! Look at this! Crab angry like you!" He's also the type who gives Law miscellaneous shiny things like pearls, shells and sand dollars as a weird courtship thing. I like to think that with Luffy, Law learns to appreciate the little things in the world. It's worth something to be excited over details you skipped out on before. It's a welcome change of pace—to be so easily excited—after being paranoid throughout his youth. Instead of looking for hidden bombs, Law is busy listening to Luffy telling him about rocks.

Ace's technically the oldest but he doesn't act like it (that's Sabo's job). Their relationship starts with a lot of bantering where Law calls him 'pretty boy' (he does not know Ace's name) and Ace calls him 'boss' (he thinks Law is respectable). Easily, they flirt the most and have chemistry. Things only change when Law tells him about his fear (or dislike if you prefer) of the ocean and dark. To comfort him, Ace shows him shooting stars in the sky and they hold hands the entire time. When Law looks at Ace, and I mean get a real good look, Law sees his reflection in Ace's dark greasy eyes. For the first time since losing Cora-san, Law thinks that night time might be more intimate than scary...

Sabo provides a similar comforting aura, if not even more so but only way later. It's a strange chase game where Sabo half-jokingly shits on Law but becomes full-on hostile when Law gets close with Ace and Luffy. It's out of jealousy and feeling left out but it goes on for so long that we're convinced Sabo /gen hates Law. Anyways, like in my illustration, Sabo's scars glow in the dark. They're the result of a horrible reef bombing that disfigured the left side of his face and left scars all over his tail. Sabo hates his scars, and refused to believe that Law actually liked them. Only when Sabo learned that Law essentially sees him as a glorified night light that Sabo not only learns to trust Law but to maybe see himself the same way Law does...

Wait what? Oh yeah, Law sees his angsty teenage self reflected in Sabo's character, which explains his soft spot. If Cora-san never gave up on loving and comforting him, he would do the same for Sabo too!

Yes, so they're surrogate therapy-figures. Now, what do ASL gain from associating themselves with a middle-aged man? Nothing, honestly but Law is quite the eye candy. His angst mellowed out a lot since his teenage years and he laughs 5% more as a middle-aged man with financial security and free time to pursue his hobbies. Quite the catch, eh?

#jacqueline's merman au #i should finally tag this this is my new big project #lulaw #monkey d luffy #acelaw #portgas d ace #revolutionary sabo #sabo #sabolaw #slawbo #one piece

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littleshysheep-at-da · 18 days

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Want a bunch of unsolicited Persona Opinions?

A decent amount of this is less Opinion but more Description of you were to explain these Games to someone who hasn’t Played this (yes this is my Autistic Hobby) but my Opinion is delightfully sprinkled throughout.

In this order under the cut: SMT vs Persona and my Preference, Game Rating vs Player Age, Lots of People Involved in the Making Off, Self-Insert Blank Slate Protagonist vs Silent Protagonist, Good vs Bad Genderbends, Female Protagonist, Dating Sim Unfortunate Truths, and Romance Routes.

SMT vs Persona and my Preference

I think Shin Megami Tensei Main Line Games have a very big focus on world building where the Persona Series is more focused on characters.

I tend to get most attached to characters in a story which is probably why I love Persona so much.

Game Rating vs Player Age

The Persona Series is rated M for Mature. However a lot of younger teens have played these Games (myself included) and I will argue that’s it’s because despite definitely having a lot of dark and mature themed plots they do not show this content very graphically.

Lots of People Involved in the Making Off

The thing about Big Companies like Atlus is there are a lot of people involved on each Project. Think of it this way the Credits are usually 7 Minutes long scroll faster than is Readable and Multiple things are Credited to a Team instead of Listing each Name Involved. This means that sometimes the Narrative can feel a bit Disjointed. Now Persona has very strong Theming in Terms of Art Direction and Music Direction (which can be Credited to having one Very Incredible Lead Artist and Music Director on the Project) and though each Game definitely has a Narrative Theme it follows there are definitely individual Character Moments that clash strongly. There will be some very Out Of Character Moments where we need a Character to act that way to move along the Story despite it making no sense for them to act that way. The best way to Describe this is that the Person who Conceptualized that Character and Wrote them probably didn’t Write the Scene where they are Out Of Character. It’s one of the biggest issues of Massive Game Companies in particular of there being not quite enough Communication between Writers to have a Consistent Intent of who they want things Portrayed. It is very hard to make sure a Team that big is all on the same page, but that is the Director's Job that maybe they could’ve done better maybe not. There Definitely is also some Decisions made for “Marketing” that clash with what the Writers/Artist actually intended but they have no choice but to go with what the Director makes them.

Self-Insert Blank Slate Protagonist vs Silent Protagonist

-In the Persona Series the Protagonist is pretty much always what’s known as a Silent Protagonist. However I will argue that’s different from a Self-Insert or Blank Slate Protagonist. In Persona you’re not intended to write the player character as you and give them whatever look or personality you want. Despite being a Silent Protagonist all the Persona Protags have something of their own personality. Their personality comes through from their body language, self talk, and dialogue option choices (the last one sort of gives you the range of their personality).

-Basically anything narrated in first person means there will be flavor text in how they choose to describe things. When you interact with things (and the character describes what they’re looking at is how it’s done in Video Games) or the situation is described by the protagonist that gives us their personality.

-Personally I have a very strong Pet Peeve for people who take a Silent Protagonist or the character being the Player Character meaning they’re supposed to be Self-Insert. Because neither of those things inherently mean they are supposed to be a Self-Insert.

-Old Gen Examples: the fact that in Persona 2: Innocent Sin and Persona 2: External Punishment Tatsuya and Maya switch between being the Silent Protagonist and the one who is not is STILL a fully fledged character.

-Main Line Examples: There’s a point where Minato (P3mc) and Souji (P4mc) hear the same song (Tanaka’s Commodities) and Minato (P3mc) describes it as annoying while Souji (P4mc) describes it as happy. Or how both Akira (P5mc) and Souji (P4mc) constantly suggest that they could Crossdress. Or how the only quest that Souji (P4mc) gives himself (is not requested by someone else) is to pet every cat in Inaba.

-Extra Examples: when the Protagonist is not the Main Player Character in Spin Off Game they are a fully fledged character with their own Personality. In Persona 4 Dancing and Persona 4 Arena we see Souji (P4mc) give a full Narration from his perspective with his opinions. In Persona Q and Persona Q2 which ever Protagonist you don’t play as (in PQ the one you didn’t choose and in PQ2 Souji (P4mc) and Minato (P3mc)) is their own character despite the fact they still don’t talk a ton compared to others.

Good vs Bad Genderbends

-Of NewGen Persona 3 is the only Game to have the option of Playing as a Female Protagonist. Because of this a lot of people really wanted Persona 4 and Persona 5 to also have an option for a Female Protagonist. And though I think it’s a cool idea I think people are greatly misunderstanding just how much Gender has Barring on Identity.

-I will fully admit to just not being a Fan of Genderbends, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with them but I’m not a Fan. A big reason I dislike Genderbends is simply because there are a lot of bad ones. When people Genderbend they don’t often think about the reasons behind the Character Design, they just give them longer hair and a skirt for a girl and shorter hair and pants for a boy.

-The fastest and easiest example I can give is actually YuGiOh (my Sister’s Favorite Series). Yugi is wearing a Punked-Out version of the Boy’s School Uniform, so if he was a girl it would be a Punked-Out version of the Girl’s School Uniform thus his jacket would be pink not blue. That’s what I mean with “Reasons Behind Character Design” to keep it as the same personality. There are different things that are equivalent for each gender.

-A slightly more complicated example is from the Twitter Manga Trapped In A BL World where an extra shows what the Characters would look like as Women. The Main Character in this Series is purposely trying to be a Background Character is what you need to know for this. The Character explains he would have a different type of stylized eyes because though his eyes on a Man make him look like a Background Character as a Women that would make him look like a Main Character.

-Persona 3 actually does Genderbending really well with Minato (P3mc) and Hamuko (P3femc). A lot of people don’t realize it but they are the male and female equivalent of each other. Minato (P3mc) had a slightly scene hair cut, Hamuko (P3femc) has the girl version of that same haircut (shorter bangs longer back but same cut). Minato (P3mc) is somewhat depressed and awkward at relationships but doesn’t stand out, the thing is on a girl visibly being a loner would make you stand out so for Hamuko (P3mc) the girl equivalent of not standing out while not letting people know you’re struggling is being slightly bubbly and superficial in conversation. People just think Minato (P3mc) is in an edgy teen phase and people just think Hamuko (P3femc) in an Airhead teen phase.

Female Protagonist

-A Female Protagonist works in Persona 3 because you are not the main driving force behind Plot Points. You are joining a pre-existing Organization so even though your Gender chances Personal Relationships it does not change the trajectory of the Overarching Plot because you are simply never the one in charge of that.

-See in Persona 4 and Persona 5 you being the leader of your Team and being responsible for forming your friend group means that you being a different Gender would change how the others first react to you.

-For example in Persona 4; if you were a girl Yukiko and Chie would probably open up to you faster while Yosuke would be more awkward this could change who goes into the TV World with you first and maybe even who gets a Palace. Yosuke would be more Romantic/Flirty towards you (and not have a Sexuality Crisis) and Rise would probably be the one who has a Sexuality Crisis and Cut Romance Route. Kanji would be way more awkward with you and wouldn’t open up nearly as fast while Naota (seeing you are a woman in a position of Power which is what they are struggling with) would probably be way more willing to open up. And so on.

-For example in Persona 5; if you a girl would probably not be painted as an aggressive delinquent but a slut who tried to hit on Shido. Sojiro might be nicer to you off the bat and Ann might be nicer to you too since you would basically be in a very similar situation to her (I don’t actually think Ryuji would change too much, it's just who he is). Kamoshida would not threaten you with physical violence but probably sexually harass you. Quite frankly because Persona 5 deals with abuse as a main Plot Point there are A LOT of time where being a girl means it wouldn’t just be physical but sexual as well (the whole Kaneshiro thing becomes drastically less safe for a Female Protagonist, unfortunately it just often is less safe being a woman because of misogyny). And so on.

-In Persona 3 it’s not that Characters don’t react very differently to you with a different Gender (Yukari being the biggest example) it’s just the Social Aspect with you in particular is not what drives most Plot Points. You are not so much a catalyst for change as just another member.

-And it’s not to say 2 entirely very different Game Routes would be a bad thing. From a Game Player point of view that would be very cool. From a Game Designer point of view that sounds awful. Most Games with drastically different Plot for each Route are Visual Novels as they take way less assets to do so. Case in point Persona 3 Portable was changed to be mostly a Visual Novel (mostly for size restrictions to my knowledge).

Dating Sim Unfortunate Truths

NewGen Persona is Particularly a Social/Dating Sim, the real reason behind that aspect is most likely Marketing to appeal to a wider Audience. I do feel that unfortunately the Romance Route/Dating Sim Element takes away from the rest of the Game and Attracts some Unsavory Fans. The Fact that you can Romance every Main Female Character Unfortunately Attracts “DudeBros” people who; Feel Entitled To Women’s Bodies, Have No Reading Comprehension, and therefore look at the Game as a Harem Sim ignoring; literally every other Plot Point, any Agency the Female Characters have outside of their Relationship with the Main Character, and any Personality the Main Character has outside of being a Self Insert Wish Fulfillment. Maybe that is incredibly harsh sounding, there are definitely people who enjoy the Romance Routes and Self Insert Aspects but can appreciate and Comprehend the Story outside of it. But I have unfortunately seen too many “DudeBros” to ignore how Marketing in a way, that not specifically to appeal to them but does appeal to them, really takes away from the Narrative as a whole. I will say the only acceptation for me is Aigis, as I feel she is worked into the Narrative well.

Romance Routes

-In Persona there are Romance Routes for the Social-Links/Confidants, this is part of Persona sort-of being a Social Sim and at Times A BIT of a Self-Insert Game. However none of the Romance Routes in NewGen are Truly Canon, some people will argue some of them are though. A decent amount of the Romance Routes are supposed to be more for the Player/Self-Insert and Fanservice than they are Shipping the Protagonist as their own Character. When you Date someone there will be certain Events where you can take your Partner on a Date (like Valentines, White Day, and Christmas).

-Except for Persona 2 they’re aren’t any real Gay Romances (P3P being a bit of an Exception with Elizabeth and Aigis but both of those are a bit weird with never truly stating that you’re Dating). Persona 4 almost had one (Yosuke) but it was cut at the very last minute. I think it’s very strange that Games with Themes of “Being Your True Self” despite what people think and “Rebelling Against Society” and its norms does not have Gay Romance Options. However unfortunately big name Games cutting LGBTA+ or Progressive Content to be more “Marketable” is pretty common, it is usually the Directors Decision and not the Artists/Writers too.

-A Character having a bit of a Crush on the Main Character DOES NOT make her the “Canon Love Insert” because a Crush is One Sided. Except for Persona 2 where the Creators EXPLICITLY state the Game was written with the intent of Tatsuya and Jun being Romantic, there ARE NO CANON ROMANCES WITH THE PROTAGONIST. I say this (very annoyed) because people will argue that (in Persona 4) Rise, Marie, (in Persona 5) Makoto, or Kasumi are “Canon” because of certain Scenes pushing them together. Romantic Social Links are Non-Canon, there are many Writers on the team for NewGen so one adding a Scene to Cater to a certain audience, and just adding focus on a new Character does not mean it’s Reciprocated Romantic Intent.

-Just my Opinion:

-I will fully admit my Opinion on all Romance Routes (in NewGen so not including Persona 2’s) fall into one of two Categories. The First Category being: there’s nothing inherently wrong with the Romance Route but it feels incredibly Mundane (especially in terms of what actual Dating Games have for Drama btw) and clashes with the Tone of the overall Narrative, feeling way too Casual/Weak in comparison to the ride or die Relationships you have as Teammates. The Second Category being: crossing a line and feeling VERY creepy, whether that is Groomer-ish (not a Word I EVER say lightly but unfortunately does fit) or incredibly Emotionally Manipulative. So I either think the Romance Route is fine but kinda boring or creepy and abusive. The Majority are fine but kinda boring, only a select handful cross the creepy and abusive line (which are some of the stand out Weakest Writing Moments in all of Persona).

-Also with how it’s Written I feel the Friendzone Social Links actually come off stronger Narrative Wise. I feel the Friendzone Route gives each individual Character more Agency and a better completion to their individual Character Arcs.

-Particularly in Persona 5 a lot of the Dialogue Choices that decide the Romance feel kinda bad for the Character. Like the one that starts the Romance is very much “Rely On Me” where the one that keeps it Friends is more “You Got I This I Support You” which I feel is better for the Character’s Arch.

-I will say I think in Persona 3 Aigis and Ryoji are probably the Exceptions for me as I think they actually fit into the Narrative.

-In Persona 2 you can Romance:

-(3) Jun, Lisa, and Maya.

-Unlike NewGen in Persona 2 it is intended that Jun is the Canon Romance. The Story is Written with the intention of Tatsuya and Jun being Romantic. Tatsuya is Implied to be Bisexual while Jun is implied to be Gay. The Writers have stated this indirectly.

-In Persona 3 you can Romance:

-As Male: (7)

Elizabeth, Aigis, Yukari, Mitsuru, Fuuka, Yuuko, and Chihiro.

-This hasn’t been Updated for Persona 3 Reload and is for the previous 3 Versions (Original, Persona 3 FES, and Persona 3 Portable) of Persona 3. But in Reload the Dialogue is pretty much the same but now you can Friendzone the Girls so you can do multiple Social-Links without having to Cheat. You can still Reverse the Social-Links if you are mean or unsupportive.

-There is no way to Friendzone anyway so if you do a Girls Social-Link she will consider you Dating even though the Narrative hasn’t gotten there yet. So they will consider it Cheating if they do another Girls Social-Link at the same time. The Details are something like if you talk to another Girl and don’t talk to her for 3 Days. This will Reverse the Social-Link and you will Lose their Bonus. However if Max the Social-Link to Level 10 and then do another Girls they won’t care.

-The Romance Routes that are not Teammates (Yuuko and Chihiro) feel a bit strange in tone compared to the rest of the Game (just because of how detached from the Main Plot they are) but on their own are decently Written.

-As Female: (7)

Elizabeth, Theo, Aigis, Akihiko, Shinjiro, Ken, and Ryoji.

-Even as a Female Player Elizabeth and Aigis Social-Links do not change, making it implied that Hamuko (P3femc), Elizabeth, and Aigis are Bisexual.

-There is no way to Friendzone anyone still, but unlike Minato (P3mc) there are no consequences to Hamuko (P3femc) doing Multiple Romances at one time. They’re will be dialogue of them being angry at each other and you might miss a Day to Advance the Social-Link (though they get over it pretty fast) but they do not Reverse.

-The Ken route is frankly quite odd. The age gap, though not criminal, is still weird. The fact that he says you remind him of his Mother also just does not seem like a healthy Romance. The entire team sort of takes a guiding Older Sibling Role (though never directly stated) towards Ken so the Romance is an Odd Choice. While I wouldn’t say it gives off “Groomer Vibes” it’s still kinda creepy.

-In Persona 4 you can Romance:

-(8) Marie, Chie, Yukiko, Naoto, Rise, Ai, Yume, and Ayane.

-You can now Friendzone people, so you can Complete their Social-Link without Romancing them. With some Characters you have to make the first move and others will bring it up themselves. The Game will prompt you that You're Making An Important Decision and Should Choose Your Words Carefully. You can Cheat and Romance Multiple Characters at once but there will be Dialogue of Souji (P4mc) having Soul Crushing Guilt over Cheating.

-The Romance Routes that are not Teammates (Ai, Yume, and Ayane) feel a bit strange in tone compared to the rest of the Game (just because of how detached from the Main Plot they are) but on their own are decently Written.

-In Persona 5 you can Romance:

-(10) Ann, Makoto, Futaba, Haru, Kasumi, Hifumi, Kawakami, Tae, Ohya, and Chifuya.

-You can Friendzone people, and it works exactly the same as in P4. So you can Complete their Confidant without Romancing them. With some Characters you have to make the first move and others will bring it up themselves. The Game will prompt you that You're Making An Important Decision and Should Choose Your Words Carefully. You can Cheat but on Valentine’s Day if you have Multiple Girlfriends there is a Cutscene where they run into each other, realize you are Cheating, get mad, and beat you up.

-Also if you don't Date anyone you will spend Romantic Holidays or Scenes hanging out with the Boys instead (if you buy Flowers on White Day you can give them to Sojiro as a thank you). Plus you Max Level 10 the Girls Confidant but don’t Romance them they will give you Giri-Chocolate (Friend Chocolate) on White Day.

-I hate the Futaba and Akira (P5mc) Romance because they specifically mention that they’re like Siblings so transitioning to a Romance is very awful. Also the way Futaba is emotionally stunted and Akira (P5mc) being the one guiding her in learning social norms makes it feel Groomer-ish to me (and I NEVER use that Word lightly (even if it’s technically the wrong term here)).

-I can forgive the Adult Confidant Romance (Kawakami, Tae, Ohya, and Chifuya) SOMEWHAT. Because it doesn't feel like it’s supposed to be Akira (P5mc) as his own Character with the Confidant but more intended as a Self-Insert for the Player who (due to the time gap between P4 and P5) are probably Adults themselves if they’re Fans from previous Games. I still think they shouldn’t really be there (especially when some of them empathize how you’re a Kid and they’re an Adult. because Akira (P5mc) is 16 and all these Women are Adults (Women can also be Pedophillas yknow)), but I can slightly understand what they were trying to do.

-Though with the Adult Confidant Romance both Kawakami and Tae’s are very creepy with how much the Student-Teacher and Doctor-Patient is supposed to be the allure of the Relationship.

#trash meme #persona #persona series #persona 3 femc #persona 5 #persona 3 #persona 4 #persona 2 #persona 1 #actually autistic #seriously I stim by making these lol

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rainingfishandfrogs · 8 months

Text

Sailor Moon Thoughts - i know i'm 10yrs late but Crystal's not that bad actually

so i recently got back into sailor moon

grew up on the english dub 90s anime (watch the jpn sub in 9th grade)

had only read the manga once in the past and that was in college; however i just recently bought the first 2 volumes of the collector's edition (just finished V2 actually!)

but this is my first time watching Crystal (mostly bc when it was first coming out there was so much backlash and hate and it made me turn away from it)

now that i've read volumes 1&2 and watched S1 i gotta say...when compared to the manga Crystal's honestly not that bad and i'd say overall pretty faithful

Spoilers for Sailor Moon Crystal!

Usagi and Mamoru

first thing's first! mamoru's age is fixed! fucking yay!

in both the manga and crystal he's a 16yr old 2nd year high school kid! not a 1st year college student dating at 14yr old little girl! he and usagi compliment each other and it really shows in crystal imo

90s-SM fleshes out this couple individually more in the first season and i'm in love with that and they have some really sweet moments and i still ship it ofc i do BUT the age difference got so iffy and squeakable for me when watching again as a grown ass adult!

some of usagi's emotional intelligence is downplayed and she sometimes comes off as even younger than she is and that makes the ship feel uneven and i just keep thinking "there he goes off with his child bride 👋🏽" and it really doesn't help that they animated mamoru looking so much older and acting like a mature 20-something (even tho yes, he's closer to 18 but an 18yr old dating a 14yr old is still so squeakable to me)

the manga is where this ship thrives and it's more believable that they fall for each other especially bc they're on more equal footing but crystal adds in a scene in S1 that i personally love that's when sailor moon and tuxedo mask are fighting zoisite toward the middle of the season (before venus shows up)

i'm massively paraphraseing but in this scene usagi doesn't just tell but shows mamoru through her tears and pained expression that she understands he's deeply lonely and that it hurts her, she doesn't want that for him, she wants to do everything in her power to make sure he never feels that way again

and mamoru tells her that SHE is everything he wants and he doesn't need a magical stone to find out who he is and where he belongs not when she's standing beside him bc her strength and kindness are inspiring and he's not afraid or lonely when around her

"i won't let you be alone anymore" / "seeing your strength makes me so happy" couples are my downfall and this scene cracks me right open

and this is BEFORE they regain their memories i'm fucking dead!

5/5🌙

English Dub

i vaguely remember ppl shitting on the English dub of Crystal and yes i watched it in Japanese first but the English dub is actually really great?! especially when compared to the 90's English dub!! i love Usagi's VA and i think all the voices match the characters pretty well

4.5/5🌙

The Transformations and Character Designs

okay so those 3D transformations are bad

the animation is really jarring at first and yeah it's not good i don't like it but after a while you just sort of...idk get used to it and it's not a make-or-break thing imo now did the 90s anime do it better? fuck yeah! but by the end of the season i just felt meh about them and barely cared

1/5🌙

i remember the character designs getting A. LOT. of hate and yeah i agree that they are too sharp and angular and that the manga was more a cross between the 90s and crystal character designs - but that's another thing you get used to and also doesn't that get fixed later?

plus idk i kind like that both animated versions each take one end of the spectrum with the manga in the middle 🤷🏾‍♀️

2/5🌙

The Big One

okay now the big one - the supposed past love between the 4 heavenly kings and the inner planet guardians that wasn't in the manga and definitely not in the 90s version where these guys are handled more interestingly

i think this subby-subplot that's not even really a subplot is stupid and doesn't amount to anything and doesn't actually make a ton of sense if earthlings and...and moonlings being together is forbidden the serenity had to SNEAK AWAY to see her earth prince and it does sort of take away some of the tragedy that is serenity and endymion's doomed love

like i was going "what was the point of that" when the kings all die and the sailor girls are weeping for 2secs before getting back to busniess and i get wanting to expand more on all 8 of these characters, but that's not how you do it - 90s-SM expanded on these characters better because plot points were stretched out and we got to know the characters more slowly over a longer period of time (plus 2 of the kings were lovers! that's cute as hell!!)

basically this whole thing was shoved into the story last minute with very minimal build up barely any conclusion and it's really uninteresting

0.3/5🌙 (only bc venus dropping a few hints every few episodes was done well enough-ish but it was still stupid in the end and shouldn't have been included the way it was)

Conclusion

even with that though crystal still isn't that bad - overall it's actually pretty good and i love experiencing the manga coming to animated live

the OST is beautiful! and even tho NOTHING tops the 90s theme song that crystal usamamo love theme is fucking gorgeous 😍 in fact all the music in crystal is top teir imo

i do miss the focus on the female friendship tho and kinda wish crystal took some of that 90s-SM female friendship focus BUT 90s-SM just had so much more time to work with and at the end of the day SM is a romance so i understand why the anime adapting the manga more closely focused on the romance more heavily (and that usamamo scene i talked about above is still so. damn. good!)

anyway if you're like me and didn't bother watching crystal bc the hate and backlash when it first came out i say give it a try

it's still cute and still sailor moon and so far it's getting a 4/5🌙

i'll probably do another one of these when i finish S2 (jon and eng) and the volumes it adapted

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spectruminterests · 7 months

Note

What other ideas did you also have for the Hollow Knight Modern AU?

I have… a lot. (For context: I originally posted about my Hollow Knight Modern AU here). I tried to type some things out and then tumblr erased it, so instead you get my unorganized ramblings that I have on my notes app. (Under the cut so not everyone has to read them). Essentially, Pale Royal (the Pale King) is the mayor of the oddball town of Hallownest and the somewhat negligent father of five chaotic children.

Character names:

Pale Royal (= The Pale King)

Blanca Royal (White Lady)

Hollis Royal (The Hollow Knight/Pure Vessel)

Kinsey Royal (Broken Vessel/Lost Kin)

Hornet Weaver (Hornet- her mom insisted she should have the Weaver name)

Herrah Weaver (Herrah the Beast)

Greene Royal (Greenpath vessel)

Knight "Ghost" Royal (The Knight/Ghost/player character)

Grimm Nightmare Sr. (Troupe Master/Nightmare King Grimm)

Grimm Nightmare Jr. (Grimmchild)

Dr. Sophia Monomon (Monomon the Teacher, I chose the name Sophia because it means wisdom or knowledge)

Quirrel Monomon (Quirrel, Monomon's adopted son)

Morningstar Claw (Mantis Lord)

Lance Claw (Mantis Lord)

Arrow Claw (Mantis Lord)

Mace Claw (Traitor Lord)

Bretta Scriber (Bretta)

Tiso Shieldsmith (Tiso)

Sybil Erebis (Seer)

Pale and Blanca have an open relationship - Blanca and Herrah get along fine and Pale having a child with Herrah wasn’t a problem for Blanca. Blanca is also bisexual and in a relationship with Dryya, the Hallownest Chief of Police.

Tween Hornet: What are you talking about I have no interest in girly things I like ninjas and swords! *hides princess book under the bed*

Ghost: second grade Force of Chaos

Grimmchild/Grimm Jr.: Second grade arsonist and Ghost's best friend/accomplice

Pale King and White Lady: parenting is easy! Just let the kids figure it out for themselves!

Teenage/Young adult Hollow Knight: the only responsible person in the household. Is slowly going insane taking care of four younger siblings.

Troupe Master Grimm/Grimm Sr.: Similar parenting philosophy to PK and WL. Is *fabulous* Actively encourages his son to be a ball of chaos.

Herrah: Like a crazy cat lady but with spiders. Her home is not a place for the faint of heart.

Teenage Mantis Lords: Sisters Morningstar, Lance, and Arrow. Leaders of the student-run Fencing Club which is really just a veneer for a bunch of kids who want to be TOUGH WARRIORS! Members include Hornet and Cloth.

Traitor Lord: Mantis sisters’ older brother Mace. A deadbeat high school dropout who makes a living as a drug dealer. The family doesn't talk about him.

Lance: "Yes I'm a girl and anyone else who'd like to comment gets STABBED!"

People know better than to mess with these kids.

When Grimm gets a call from the school: "Oh? My son set a fire in the boys' bathroom, you say? Did he tell you why? Because toilet paper is very flammable, he said? Oh well, kids will be kids, it sounds very much like something I would have done at his age... Suspended? Surely that's a little harsh? With all due respect, I think this behavior is teaching him important life skills! Surely that should be more acceptable in a school?"

I'm imagining Grimm Jr. asking Ghost to run away and join the circus with him 😆😆😆

"You'd be a great act, Ghost! I'm sure my dad wouldn't mind having another kid! You could be an acrobat or a clown or a mime... (at this point Ghost gives him a look).... okay, maybe not a mime."

The town of Hallownest is technically their "hometown," but the Nightmares travel. Grimm Sr. just drops his kid off at the local public school whenever he's too busy to take care of him, never mind whether or not he's actually enrolled. Cue a lot of teachers trying to figure out where the hell this kid came from. How much the kid is actually learning, missing school so often and being dropped in random classes is... questionable, but everything is fine! The Hallownest school system has already given up. Grimm Jr. really only goes to school because Dad is too busy to deal with him full time 😆

He's doing his best to just push his kid off on a stranger like in-game 😆

Ghost also often begs for Grimm to come sleep over, which of course causes more chaos than usual in the Royal household. Poor Hollis, trying to maintain some semblance of order.

Bretta is already writing fanfic. Ghost once saves her from a bully by dropping onto him from a tree, at which point Bretta decides she’s in love. Then Bretta mentions this to Greene. Bretta: “Oh, is he your brother? He’s so hot! 😍😍” Greene: “… sibling. And they’re seven.” Bretta: “Oh… so that’s why he’s… they’re… so short….” *is mortified*

Bretta later develops a crush on Hollis and writes fan fiction about them.

Grimm just drops off his kid at the Royal house with no notice and no indication of how long he'll be gone 😆

The whole Royal family is autistic in some fashion, because look at them. Pale is an inventor in his spare time and is always thinking about how to optimize infrastructure in the town of Hallownest. He also works late and forgets to eat or sleep when he's hyperfocused. Blanca (White Lady) spends more time with her garden and her large variety of houseplants than with her children, and everything has to be clean and Just So or she'll make a fuss. She always adjusts her children's and stepdaughter's clothing before they leave the house, much to Ghost's and Hornet's chagrin.

Hollis couldn't break a rule to save their life and comes off as stiff and robotic when trying to interact with people. Their parents are proud of the former and entirely oblivious to the latter.

Kinsey is sensory-sensitive and awkward. Loud noises, bright lights, and busy rooms drive them crazy. This does not stop them from being kind of an extrovert or from getting into trouble with Hornet.

Hornet, for her part, has some sensory issues with clothing (and hates the fancy things her stepmother tries to shove her into with a passion) and speaks in a very blunt but also overly archaic/wordy manner (if you've seen her dialogue in game you'll know what I'm talking about). She has little interest in socializing with people unless a) they're her mom or siblings, b) she's causing trouble, and/ or c) it's something violence-related.

Greene takes after their mom with their love of plants. They also love animals and are better with animals than people. They're super shy and awkward lol

Ghost is well, Ghost. They often struggle to speak/experience speech loss and have a raging case of ADHD in addition to the autism, making them constantly chasing after new and interesting things, unwilling and unable to pay attention unless they're interested, and entirely oblivious to social norms. In other words, they're hell to deal with 😆

Quirrel is Miss Monomon's adopted son and a giant nerd. He's 14 and a sophomore in high school because he skipped a grade as a kid. He has an I ❤️ isopods (group including pill bugs) pin on his backpack and is really into "bugs" and other invertebrates.

Hollis, nicknamed "Holly" by their siblings, is Very Tall (like 6 foot 5 or something), rather gangly and skinny, and AMAB (in part to make their height more plausible lol). At first they look kinda intimidating but they wouldn't hurt a fly, and are just about the quietest, shyest person ever, with one exception: if you hurt their siblings, you incur their wrath. Other than that they will take anything that's thrown at them - bullying, name-calling, way too many home responsibilities for a teenager, etc. - with a stoic front. They have just about no self-esteem and have a bad case of "awkward tall person syndrome," always hunching over and trying not to stand out despite the fact that they are literally head and shoulders above their classmates. Like all their siblings they have white hair (which they keep long), pale skin and very dark eyes.

Blanca (the White Lady) is an albino, thus the white skin, white hair, and very light blue eyes. She's also something of a Karen and acts like being an albino makes her an oppressed minority or something.

She also never leaves the house without makeup.

Tiso Shieldsmith is Hollis's classmate and maybe-friend who moved to Hallownest last year. He's kind of an idiot teenage boy and he calls Hollis "Stick Bug" thanks to their stick-bug-esque physique. He's, obviously, in the martial arts and fencing club, and he's kind of trying to be a tough jock but not always succeeding. I love the way he interacts with Hollis:

"Yo, Stick Bug, my man! I mean, my non-binary guy... I mean, uh...whatever. How are you doing, pal?"

*Hollis stares at him in an expressionless way as Tiso rambles.*

Hollis always refers to their parents as Mother and Father instead of just saying "Mom" or "Dad." It's out of respect mainly, and also because Blanca tends to like everything fancy. The outfit I drew Hollis in is what they normally wear to school, at their mother's request XD

Radiance is a local celebrity with a cult-like fan base. Miss Sybil (Seer) is the school's history teacher and the students are shocked when they discover she's an intense Radiance fan. “Radiance” is a stage name and she's Grimm's cousin (a relationship neither of them particularly care to mention most of the time). Pale hates her for reasons unknown, to the point where Pale has tried to pass all kinds of town restrictions on shows and circuses specifically because of Grimm and Radiance. Grimm either ignores the anti-circus ordinances or finds loopholes, and protesters stormed the town hall at the restrictions affecting the Radiance, enough that Pale had to undo them.

Grimm has some level of ability to break the law in Hallownest in part because the police in Hallownest don't want to deal with him either (lol) and in part because Blanca has used her influence and her relationship with the Chief of Police, Dryya, to discourage the Hallownest Police Department from prosecuting him. “Oh, Mr. Nightmare can’t be in jail, his son is my youngest’s best friend, and the poor man is a single father. I can’t imagine what that would do to poor Grimm Junior. Not to mention I’ve heard that Radiance is actually a relative of his… do you want her fans storming the police department?” (This is, of course, behind her husband’s back.)

Grimm is also very good at finding loopholes, twisting people's words, and generally being a pain in the arse to anyone who has issues with him.

Herrah has dark skin and a fat but very muscular figure. Usually around Hornet and the Royal kids she's all motherly and sweet, but when dealing with people she doesn't like she's intimidating AF.

Obviously the Royal family is white af because... a) they're entitled jerks, at least to a degree and b) look at them.

Hornet has brown/light brown skin but still has the white-blond hair and almost-black irises that run in Dad's side of the family. She gets strangers trying not to stare occasionally, but at least she isn't so pale she could be mistaken for a corpse XD

In fact I imagine that several of the characters often get strangers trying not to stare- Hollis and Grimm Jr. come to mind.

Grimm has dressed his son in red and black since he was a baby; it’s not every day you see an 8-year old dressed in a fancy black and red suit with a cape and makeup that looks like a cross between "vampire," "emo," and "circus."

Tiso: Yo, Stick Bug! What's with the dress? You look like you're going to prom or something!

[Hollis is wearing a white frilly dress that's too long to be anything other than one their mom ordered specially made, along with a fancy necklace and earrings]

Hollis: Mother has tea with her gardeners' club this afternoon and would like to show me off to all her gardening friends (said in a completely calm tone, even with a slight smile)

Tiso: "Show you off?!?” You say it like you're her favorite doll instead of her kid! Are you expected to do anything at her event? That sure doesn't look like gardening clothes. Your mom is definitely being weird, you sure you're okay with this?

Hollis: Of course. It means Mother is proud of me.

Hollis has issues.

They're shy and desperate for approval and their parents are (somewhat unintentionally) walking all over them. They need love and support that's not tying their value to being "perfect." Luckily, their siblings don't want Perfect Obedient Hollis, they want the real, happy them.

#katlyn post #hollow knight #the pale king #ghost hollow knight #fanfiction #the hollow knight #hornet #hornet hollow knight #hollow knight au #katlyn writes nonsense #Town of Hallownest AU

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imminentinertia · 6 months

Text

(I added an image description to the gif)

Now that everyone's forgotten about it it's a great time to word vomit about Last Twilight, yes? But it was only recently I finally managed to finish the last episode of Last Twilight and I have Thoughts and I needed to digest.

I also have A Very Personal Frame of Reference for how I judge media dealing with blindness. What I have read about Last Twilight has been a lot of delight, a lot of disappointment with how the story went, analysis of colours and outfits and dialogue and narrative elements, but I haven't yet seen much about the depiction of vision loss. Soooo *cracks knuckles*

(I bet I've missed some posts about it, though. I'd like to be pointed to such posts)

As for me:

I had an older relative with severe vision loss thanks to untreated glaucoma (get your eyes checked regularly once you hit 40! Glaucoma is treatable).

I grew up with two friends who had lost an eye as small children - one also had severe vision loss in the remaining eye, the other had a well functioning eye. Actually I know more people my age who have lost an eye and I did then too, but I was close with these two and I guided the near blind one often.

I have a younger relative, someone very close to me, who gradually went from perfect vision to near blind. That's the most important person from everyone with visual impairment I've known, in this context.

Let's just say I had a beady eye (sorry) on Last Twilight when I first heard of it, since I have a fair bit of experience as friend, relative, guide and activist when it comes to visual impairment. I've tried moving about with a white cane and I've learned braille (I don't remember much, though). I've provided the audio commentary when watching films with blind people, more times than I can count (and I've explained several times, with various degrees of impatience, to seeing strangers that yes, blind people can enjoy the cinema). I know a fair bit about this, I believe.

Which means I'm rarely terribly impressed with media depictions of visual impairment and it's something I tend to focus on.

As for Last Twilight:

HOLY SHIT SEA'S AMAZING ACTING

(I added an image description to the gif)

If anyone tries to claim he's not doing a fantastic job, they're objectively wrong. One may argue that artistic quality is subjective as it's invariably judged against a set of agreed upon conventions rather than true objective measures, but if you hold Sea's acting up against any agreed upon good acting and find it lacking, you need to look again.

I noticed him slipping (eyes focusing when they shouldn't) twice. Slightly. In the gif above, if a seeing character was delivering that line, the actor would focus on Jimmy when he turns his head. It's natural, there's movement and seeing people's attention is drawn to that, especially when it's this close to us.

Sea doesn't. He fucking doesn't. He looks like Day is concentrating and listening and feeling and he fucking doesn't even glance Jimmy's way even though that's what every cell in his human body wants him to. And that's just one of a million examples of how instruction, coaching and Sea's talent and effort offers up a Day that seriously seems visually impaired.

Sometimes, when a seeing actor is playing a blind character, they get instructed to - or choose - to go so unfocused that they look empty-brained. Some plaster on a vapid smile and/or Stevie Wonder head movements (you should know that Stevie Wonder turned blind very quickly after his premature birth, and he has no idea of how seeing people move. Adults who go blind are unlikely to move like him). Sea, however, looks like his brain is focusing but his eyes do not.

Day is intelligent and goofy and angry and bitter and worried and snarky-funny and sad and delighted and all of it shows on Sea's face, while his eyes look the part. It's so well done, I'm in awe.

Sea also moves exactly like my near blind younger relative and it's fucking uncanny. It's like seeing them. The often hesitant steps, the slight lean forward, the way Day uses his hands and fingers to figure out where he is and what is close to him, it gave me goosebumps. The way Day uses the remains of his sight to look at things is so like seeing my relative that I literally gasped the first time I saw it.

All the awards for Sea, please. And quite a few for Aof Noppharnach and the visually impaired acting coach. By the way, I never caught the coach's name, so if someone knows it I'd love to know.

HOLY SHIT A NEAR BLIND CHARACTER GETS TO BE COMPLEX

(I added an image description to the gif)

That doesn't happen as often as one should think. When the story is about being/going blind, the blind character is often either a super brave little ray of sunshine, or terribly tragic. Day is neither. He is all of it. He is human. He's so well written it makes me need to chew on my fists, he has all the dimensions.

Mork is arguably a bit less rounded, but Mork wears quite a few masks, and he is absolutely a human being, not a pretty cardboard cutout.

HOLY SHIT A NEAR BLIND CHARACTER GETS TO DO REAL NEAR BLIND PEOPLE STUFF

(I added an image description to the gif)

It doesn't happen as often as one might think. Fumbling somewhat, using a white cane (often in a completely meaningless way), wearing dark glasses all the fucking time - those are the staples of token blind characters, all too often. One of my favourite scenes in Last Twilight is actually when Day reads Morks contract, because it showcases a visually impaired person using his phone as a reading tool, perfectly real-looking. Well done! Kudos! Standing ovations! Now stop him there and don't let him do the stupid unnecessary breakup

Running with a seeing guide and using a phone for lots of text to speech/speech to text purposes. Going to events, libraries, bookshops, markets, parties. Going out to eat, watching a film. Day does all this with a caretaker's help for some, but not all of it. Blind people do things like this. They're not special little miracles for it, they're just people who hopefully have access to decent assistive products. Entirely too often main blind characters don't get to do many of these things. Entirely too often they're just vehicles for some inane moral of the "stay positive" variety, unless they're in a tragedy.

For the record, in the scene where Mork uses a white cane inexpertly, to put it mildly, it's quite obvious to me that Aof was aiming to show us Mork's sheer desperation. Mork's personality has extremes, and trying to put himself in a blind person's shoes and making it a lot of people's problem seems like something a distressed Mork could in fact do. The result is that he looks like a Bad Blind Character, but that's fine, just like the actors portraying those characters Mork doesn't know shit about what he's doing.

HOLY SHIT THEY DIDN'T MAKE DAY PERMANENTLY BLIND. WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT

(At this point it's probably no surprise that I added an image description to the gif)

Yes. Well. Day gets his vision back in order to live properly happily ever after. I was mad as fuck about that for a while, and about the incredibly stupid breakup and time skip. I'm still mad about the most useless breakup plot fuckery ever and the time skip, and the general clunkiness of the final episode, but I'm not mad anymore about Last Twilight not showing that blind people can have true happiness.

It's about the audience, eh. To an audience of almost exclusively seeing people (I assume), losing one's sight is a frightful thing and doesn't make for the happiest of happy endings, and Day's condition is actually treatable. So production gave him his sight back. It would have been a notch braver to not do that, but a sweet romance isn't necessarily here to be all that brave. They did a lot of good work with showing how Day could manage many things on his own, with the right aids, and when the vast majority of the audience can be assumed to be seeing, showing how near blindness isn't crippling may be good enough.

After all, people are ignorant about blindness and will offer to help only to grab hold of the blind person's arm and drag them along, which is BAD, but if you've seen that guy on Last Twilight do guiding right maybe you'll do that yourself, if your assistance is needed some day. Maybe you'll listen to what the blind person is saying instead of assuming they lost their brain along with their vision.

And it's always a hell of a lot more convenient to see than to be blind, so when you have a condition that can be fixed, go ahead.

Except for that one fucking doctor making it sound like Day had three months left to live while it was just another few months until his vision would go completely, and everyone in the room (Day, mum, Night, Mork) just accepting that, I think Last Twilight did a really good job of showing that while there are great inconveniences to losing one's vision it's not being sentenced to sitting at home and feeling helpless, like Day starts out. It did a great job of dealing with an overprotective mother and a terribly guilty-feeling brother, too.

I would have liked Day to stay blind and end extremely happy, and I think it's bit of a waste of a character to heal him from the very premise of the story, but I'm not angry. Not anymore.

Although I greatly disliked the happyhappyhappy seeing ending, I was annoyed with most of the dad arc and the speedrun Night/Porjai romance, I loathed the breakup part and I hated how Day never took responsibility for his own actions leading to the accident where he got the cornea damage (although I will grudgingly admit that it's actually something that lends a whole lot of realism to Last Twilight and to Day), all in all, I honestly loved this show. No show is flawless, and Sea's gorgeous acting alone is enough to make up for a lot.

I recommend this blogger on how to write blind or visually impaired characters, if you'd like to know (a lot) more.

#last twilight the series #last twilight meta #visually impaired characters in fiction #immy mutters about things

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elatedandexasperated · 1 year

Text

So RWRB was a movie with some discourse...

In all honesty, the discourse has bugged me more than any issues with the film itself. I get a film adaptation not living up to personal expectations set by a book is... a response that people have, but the fact some people have been trying to convince people it's not worth watching bothers me.

Don't get me wrong, I've seen all of the love for it too and I know the antis for the film are definitely in the minority. No one can control how anyone relates or who is allowed to enjoy a piece of media, but the sheer hatred I've seen from some of the people on here for the film hurts a bit to see. The arguments seem to be no deeper than "x character was removed" , "there's these plot holes" and "it's too formulaic" that last one of which I feel was kind of the point: it's a formulaic romcom so that queer people can have a fairy tale romance story like the straight ones that get shoved down our throats from a young age by companies like Disney. McQuiston, an NB writer, has gone on record stating that a huge reason why they write is to feature queer identities and make stories that people like them would have liked to read and feel represented by when they were younger.

If this was a straight Hallmark romcom (which tbf, it basically is in terms of story structure, and I low-key love it because of that) it wouldn't have made so much as a blip on most people's radars. But because it features queer characters the threshold for scrutiny seems to have been dropped to the floor (insert "Get Low" joke here). I can get having criticisms of the film, I have a few myself, but the attempt to convince people the film is bad and to disregard it as a whole because of them ignores the positive qualities, what the film means to people in the queer community, what its success can lead to in terms of representation for underrepresented people in the community (Ace, bi, NB, trans, etc.), and an understanding of intricacies that go into adaptation.

At the end of the day, this film was competently made (and in my opinion, well made) by a gay director with an inclusive team and a deep care for both the source material and an understanding of what the film would mean for millions of viewers. It featured experiences and themes that are common to many people in the community with several very poignant messages that actually have huge metatextual implications with the film (The "forced conformity of the closet" quote sticks out in particular to me: the number of op-eds speculating Nick and Taylor's sexualities and how they've been mum about them makes me think a lot of people missed that one; also looking at you, people that forced Kit Connor out of the closet 😒)

The film is a celebration of love featuring characters that people like me and others in the community can relate to. Is it formulaic? Yes. Did they remove some characters to try and create a tighter narrative focused on the main romantic pair? Yes. Is it overly cheesy and so unrealistically sweet that it will give me diabetes? Delightfully so.

So ending on a positive note, I just want to run down some things I've loved about it:

- An mlm story with an actual happy ending that features adult main leads! (Credit to youth stories, they're important, but as an adult it's hard to relate to teenage characters sometimes)

- The charisma both TZP and NG just radiate throughout the movie

- Sarah Shahi eating the absolute SHIT out of every scene she's in (Touch her and die)

- Same for Rachel Hilson

- Uma Thurman and Stephen Fry (enough said)

- The acting overall was fantastic

- The care and work put into intimate scenes and inclusion of an intimacy coordinator

- On a personal level, I loved seeing parallels between Alex and Henry's relationship and the relationship I have with my husband. For the first time in my 30 years I actually see a little of myself in an uplifting and happy piece of media and not portrayed as a dramatic tragedy, villain, or inconsequential background character.

Tl;Dr if you didn't like the movie, that's your opinion. I'm not here to try and convince you otherwise. But please stop trying to convince people it shouldn't be watched. Regardless of your opinion, this film means a lot to a lot of people, including the author of the original book! Just let us enjoy this imperfect, but tasty cheese with our w(h)ine ❤️

#rwrb #rwrb movie #red white and royal blue #taylor zakhar perez #nicholas galitzine #firstprince #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor

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rising-volteccers · 1 year

Text

The continuation of my personal thoughts about episode 18 of Horizons because I will not be denied putting in many images. Also if you're actually reading both posts you're a real one. Thank you for listening the ramblings of someone knee deep in hyperfixation mode.

Part one of the post is [here]

This bit gives us a little insight on how Friede initially viewed Cap. Through the goggles of a Pokemon Professor, he found Cap interesting as a research subject seeing that he is a Pikachu that's acting outside the typical behavior and actions known to the species. While I'm sure he genuinely does want to learn, the way he introduces himself (really now, do you think a Pikachu is going to care that you're a genius Pokemon Professor?) still shows that he's yet to expand from the viewpoint that he knows of.

Here, we see that Friede can be quite persistent. Once he's got his eyes on something, it's like he has to figure out everything that he can seemingly in a one track mind sort of way. Did he have to chase Pikachu around in a circle? No. Did he still do it till he fell out of exhaustion? Yes. It looks to me like someone who's super fixated on something to the point that he sort of forgets his limit until he crashes into it.

I love this scene because Friede's still clearly interested in what makes this Pikachu different but he also obviously care for him too. Earlier in the episode, Murdock mentioned how Cap isn't picky with his food so to see that echoed here is a nice touch!

Once again we see how persistent Friede can be with his research. Who knows how many days he's been visiting Cap around dawn to the point that he's able to take body tackles and headbutts (also love how Charizard was cheering him on!). Of course being human, he's unable to do anything about electrical shocks but does that deter him from his research?

Later we'll learn that Friede's been pretty thorough in gathering data about Cap. It's pretty refreshing to see the actual fieldwork that goes on in a Professor's research! He took videos, analyze how Cap's been flying and the like. Friede certainly earned his qualifications but he's missing an important aspect in his research, as we'll see later.

Finally Friede's acknowledging that he might know a lot of things about Pokemon theoretically and informational wise but it was vain of him to believe that he knew everything about these mysterious, wonderful creatures. Once again this gave me the impression that throughout most of his life, he was excelling in everything that he did and rarely experienced failure. Perhaps he never truly experienced what's it like to continuously fail but never giving up.

It makes me wonder how insightful Lucca is. She had a good enough grasp of Friede's character even after years of not seeing one another and understanding that if she had him meet this Pikachu, it would spark something within him.

I adore this scene as we now see that Liko's fate is crossed with Friede's. It's like watching the first wheel turning in a series of events set into motion by Lucca. The Rising Volt Tacklers wouldn't have been formed if not for her having Friede meet Cap. She wouldn't have hired Friede to be Liko's bodyguards and Liko would never experience the growth that she gets from being a part of the Rising Volt Tacklers. It comes full circle and its really fun to see narrative wise.

One thing that I noticed is the fact that Lucca refers to Friede as a 'boy' with a promising future instead of a young man. Perhaps it's a translation choice and it means something else but to me, this further shows that Friede's a gifted kid. Who's to say he wasn't going through advanced courses on his way to get his certifications as a professor? His ambiguous age makes it hard to clock in an exact one but I personally believe he's at least mid to late twenties, making this flashback take place when he was even younger than that.

Regardless, I love how she's honestly supportive of Friede and want what's best for him.

Now we're seeing that Friede's learning everything about Cap but the most important reason: why was this Pikachu pushing himself so far for? That's something one can't get looking at it from a purely analytical view. Friede could collect all the data he wanted by observing from afar and jotting the information down but he will never understand this Pikachu's reasoning and the emotions behind each and every jump.

Thus he needs to not view it just as a Pokemon Professor but as a Pokemon Trainer too. Wasn't that how most people started out in the end? Learning about this world and the various wonderful, mysterious creatures living within it. Forming long lasting bonds and understanding one another. Friede can't keep narrowing himself in this singular viewpoint so it's a nice natural development to see him going back to his roots.

Thus leading us to this climatic scene. Friede finally learns that he can't just keep observing and gathering data. He needs to get moving, to see what this Pikachu is seeing to fully, properly understand him. Friede and Charizard chased after this Pikachu higher and higher until they get to see a new horizon.

There wouldn't be a plot to Pokemon Horizons: Liko and Roy Set Off if there wasn't a Pokemon Horizons: Friede Set Off to set the wheels in motion at the start.

Friede was stuck in a rut, not knowing what to do or where to go with his life. Meeting Cap led to him to ascend from the hole he'd been in just like Cap did to see a new horizon, that the world is vast and there's so much to learn and discover about Pokemon.

He didn't need to be a Pokemon Professor stuck in a lab doing research all day. He can be a Pokemon Professor that travels the world to learn everything that he can. He won't be tied down to one spot. I believe that the origin of his Japanese name Freed is derived from freedom so just like his namesake, he will freely fly higher than the sun with Cap, Charizard and eventually the rest of the Rising Volt Tacklers.

After that, I love how supportive Ludlow was in entrusting his fishing boat to Friede. Again, I wonder if Ludlow is actually Friede's biological grandfather or a really close family friend since I like to think that you'd need to be pretty close to accept that kind of request. That goes the same too with Orla (it's amusing to think that he and Ludlow sailed from Paldea all the way to Hoenn just to find her).

They were childhood friends and despite her having moved to Hoenn, I can see that they've kept good contact with one another. If Friede was an estranged childhood friend, I wouldn't have accepted his frankly outrageous request. It also goes to show that Orla truly is a genius mechanic to be able to follow through with it! I'm truly hoping we'd get an episode focusing on her sometime in the future!

Thus we get the backstory behind the formation of the Rising Volt Tacklers! Once again Friede shows that he forgets to share (or just chose not to) information seeing that it came as a surprise to Liko. Even the rest of the crew mentioned how there's so much he never told him and earlier in the episode, Orla stated that he's shy about sharing his past.

If (or when) the hyperfixation hits again, I do want to write up a general Friede character observation up until episode 18. Friede thus far has shown to be someone who keeps his cards close to his chest. He rarely shows his true feelings, and if pointed out, he deflects or redirects the subject. He keeps withholding (or straight up forgetting) in telling the crew information but we know that he cares for them.

It truly makes me wonder what other mysteries or secrets this guy holds and I hope alongside the rest of the RVT, we'll get to see more of their story unveil through their journey.

#Pokemon Horizons #Pokeani #Anipoke #Professor Friede #Captain Pikachu #Screencaps #Video #My posts #He truly does live rent free in my head #If you honestly finish reading both posts. Thank you!

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drinkinboilingcoffee · 6 months

Note

🍒

❓

🎊

yes I have ramble permission-

(Game here)

🍒= William’s main motivation for killing was to bring back Evan, and the missing kids were his first attempt at actually testing that revival. As such, he thought it fitting the people who caused Evan’s death be the ones to suffer through the process of fixing him. Gabriel, Jerri (my name for Jeremy to avoid confusion with Mr. Fitzgerald) and Susie were Mike’s friends from fnaf 4 and the only ones William was sure he was going to kill. When their revivals had unsatisfactory results, William killed Fritz (who he tries to justify as being present at the party and not trying to stop Evan’s death) and Cassidy (who didn’t have any connection to the event at all).

❓= Gabriel and Jerri are both 13, Susie is 14 (only a few months older than Gabe and Jer and about the age of Mike at the time), Fritz is 9 and Cassidy is 7

🎊= Oh boy I suck at describing personalities (I’m much more of a show-don’t-tell for this stuff) but here goes- Susie is kind of the tough one in the group (I based her a lot on fnaf 4 rather than ffps so sorry if that bugs anyone). Kind of person who would beat the shit out of you if you cut her in line but takes bugs and puts them outside rather than crushing them- probably a big animal person (her dog Chestnut possesses Mr. Cupcake). Gabriel thinks nothing through. Has eaten many live insects on dares and has probably been hospitalized as a result. Actually helped design some of the Fredbear and Friends characters- his dad works as one of the voice actors (he boasts about it a lot) and got some of his designs submitted to William. Ngl I kind of see Jerri as the quiet one? The kind of person where even with close friends he wouldn’t speak unless he was 100% sure people would agree (me). Was probably a theater kid. He was closest to Mike and knew the most about his situation at home (Michael would sometimes have to stay over at Jerri’s for the night if there was a particularly bad episode) so he didn’t trust William as blindly as the others. I like him. Fritz is that one 9 year old on every public transit who’s a wearing full Avengers outfit and running around away from his parents talking to all the older kids about his Spider-Man sona. Was obsessed with pirates (he’s missing an eye and had to wear a patch that he drew a skull and crossbones on). Gabriel’s cousin but they live practically next door and act like brothers (Fritz looks up to him a lot). Cassidy is an only child and lived with various relatives on and off while her dad was sick when she was younger, so she didn’t really have a chance to form an sort of stable friend group until she was older. She’s definitely a quiet kid and the kind of quiet kid who will bite you. She spent most of her time at Freddy’s (her dad worked there) and had the entire layout memorized, including how to get into places she wasn’t supposed to (she would go over to where Golden Freddy was stored and leave flowers and toys. She didn’t really know why, but she felt sorry for it. It drove William crazy when he kept finding dolls and dandelions surrounding the animatronic that killed his son like some kind of shrine).

#fnaf missing kids #mci #Fnaf au #sleepwalking insomniac #gabriel fnaf #susie fnaf #jeremy fnaf #fnaf cassidy #mentioned child death #Hm yes the floor is made of floor #Coffee rambles #ask #ask game #canon divergent au

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lordystrange · 2 years

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Let’s talk about sex baby 🎵

More specifically let’s talk about smut in fanfiction. I started this yesterday before the byler sex scene fiasco in byler tag, but I think this is even more relevant now.

(Don’t cancel me yet, read this first)

(I’m tagging multiple ships because this is not just about byler. And whether you approve smut or not, you should read this.)

So, usually there are two points of view. First one is very strongly against smut, because sexualisation of minors is wrong (which is true) even when they would be aged up in the smut fic.

Second one is pro smut fics, because they either don’t care OR they think having representation of sexual affection between teenagers is important in order to normalize sex for teens, not make it a tabu.

These two povs can co-exist and they should co-exist. The problem with the first one is this: this mindset tends to see sex as only a physical act. That it’s only about lusting certain bodyparts or certain types of bodies.

But it’s not. It can be, if you are a superficial person and see people only as objects. (Or if all participant agree that there is no feelings, only intercourse.) Sex with your romantic interest is a lot more. There is the connection and shared feelings. And when you are a teenager and experience your first love, it’s normal to also experience urges and learn about your and your partners bodies and have your first sexual experiences alone and together and learn from them.

Also you can learn a lot about sex when you’re reading about it. Of cource you could actually read sex ed books, but that’s pretty much just technical pov, not a romantic pov. If there is a character you relate to, your first sexual experience can be reading about that characters first times. The thoughts and the feelings, the preparation and the aftercare. And if it’s well written, it’s a lot better option than trying to learn about sex in phub.

Then there is ofc the queer pov, especially with byler fics. Two sides there too. I know homophobes who tend to see queer relationship only through a sexual lens, and that’s why it’s important to show them that they are so much more. And also that there can be asexuals there too. Some homophobes again don’t even believe in queer relationships and/or think they are not normal. Then it’s important to show them, that queer relationship is a relationship just as much as a straight one, in the romantic and the sexual way.

Basically my main point here is, that writing a fic where teenagers (possibly queer ones) have sex is not necessarily sexualisation of those characters. It can be, but when it’s not and the fic is written right it’s actually excellent (queer) representation.

How can you do it right then? What can be wrong in the latter pov?

Well, when writing a smut fic, the people should be written as people, not props. If they are treated as props for sex, it’s sexualisation. Also in ST we have seen how the characters look like, so changing their features into sexier ones is also sexualisation.

Now let’s talk about age. Like I said earlier, sex is a normal part of life for a teenager. But it’s also normal if it’s not. Different people are ready for at different ages. And some might never wanna have sex and that’s fine.

If you write a fic where teens have sex, the important thing is to make it realistic. They are not sex gods, not well experienced, they shouldnt go all the way right after their first kiss, everything doesnt go perfectly…. If everything is ”perfect” and they are mature and well experienced at the age of 15, that’s sexualisation. Not realistic.

I appreciate that many smut fic writers age up ther characters (yes i did research in ao3 for this post). But I also noticed A LOT of fics where the characters (or just one of them) were 12 OR YOUNGER… and that brings me to the next topic.

Writing about little children having sex is just sexualisation. It’s not the same thing as teens having sex. Kids don’t have sex. And especially when just one of them is a kid and one is adult, that’s not even sex. That’s rape. If you are having pedophilic thoughts, get help. (Of course if writing kid smut is what keeps you from actually raping a child it’s a lot better to write the kid smut, but perhaps don’t share it with the world. And please get help)

The last thing I wanna talk about is kinks. I’m not a fan of kinks, I don’t have them and I don’t get them at all. But it’s no shame if you do. And they are normal to have. If you wanna write about them, you can, but remember everything I said earlier. 15 year olds having their first time shouldn’t include kinky stuff, that’s just you sexualising them. And of course use the right tags!

This is fanfiction after all, so basically everyone are free to write whatever they want, I cant stop you. But the things I mentioned above are really good to keep in mind.

And the most important thing to remember when you post a smut fic (or any fic really) is this: Use correct tags and warnings. That way no one will accidentally read something they don’t like.

Comment or reblog if you want. If I forgot something relevant, please add that. :)

#stranger things fanfiction #byler #elmax #lumax #henderhop #elumax #stancy #jancy #steddie #smut #madwheeler #elmike #byclair #mileven

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theendwhereibegin · 11 months

Text

I should give you some warnings for this chapter as it may trigger you. There are mentions of abuse, in all its forms.

Pedro is a great guy once again. You know the drill.

Universally meant.Earthly bound

story line

inner monologue

Part 3

Today has been one hell of a day. I felt like ages had passed, not just 10 hours of my life. I felt so exhausted, but still, in the back of my mind, Pedro`s smile played like a broken record.

He was sweet enough not to make me feel embarrassed of the “Starbucks episode” , how he called it and made me feel at ease during the photo shoot. He somehow felt that my anxiety was starting to get the best of me, so he filled the time with jokes and heartfelt laughs. It did make us work 2 hours extra, but God, was it worth it.

I haven`t been living under a rock. I knew who Pedro was, and even though he portrayed my favourite character ever, Javier Pena, in Narcos, I somehow managed to keep my fangirling inside. That was some miracle because whenever my eyes locked with his, I felt like my knees were about to give up. Partly because of him being there and, also, because my first time meeting one of my favourite actors and I looked like I have just rolled out of a tent a Coachella. Wait, how did I manage to get myself on the floor?

Daydreaming about him, my back just slid on the entrance door once it was closed. I couldn`t believe that I had the chance to meet him and get to be his photographer for the day.

Sure, I have met other celebrities in my 10 years at the studio, but 9 of them I was in a committed relationship and I wasn`t even interested in looking at another man, or so I thought. That meant that while I was in love with the man that I called my boyfriend, he was in love with what I could potentially become if I would let him mould me the way he wanted it.

It`s a part of my life that I would like buried and done with, as even remembering it made my entire body ache.

He`s played so many mind games with me during our 9 years together, and me being younger than him, I believed everything that came out of his mouth.

I don`t even know if you want to know the story, but at the end of the day, it's what shaped me into who I am today. I was young and stupid when I met him. He was 11 years older than me, so in my head, I thought he would bring the emotional stability that I needed. I was love bombed in the first year, and that`s what kept me captive in that relationship. He made me rely on him, emotionally, financially. I loved him truly because, in my mind, he was the best that I could ever do. He made sure I understood that and believed it 100%. Then came the emotional abuse. It wasn`t all at once at first, it was in small doses, until, later on in our relationship, it was all that he was doing, and the only moments he would act like an actual boyfriend would be while out with other people. I loved that version of him and started to hate the version he was at home. At one moment, his emotional abuse turned into physical. One single slap in front of all of our friends, and somehow I was the one that ended up begging him to reconsider and not leave me. To this day, I do not understand how he did that. Later, came the sexual abuse.

As I remembered every small detail, my heart ached. If I could only turn back time and tell the young adult version of me that everything would work out and that it`s okay if she wants to leave him.

I would be exhausted from work. I would come back to a messy home and no food, so I had to do that as well. By the end of it, I was done and over. All I wanted to do was sleep, but he didn`t care. I would say no so many times, scream it even. He would take it as a yes, and that my screams were of pleasure, not pain. It went over and over again. I had to end the relationship and read a lot of books to realise that I was sexually abused. Yes, you read that right. Sexual abuse can happen even if in a relationship. Consent is still necessary.

I didn't deserve it. No one does, but somehow, I couldn't get myself out of that situation until Covid appeared, and I finally built up the strength to kick him out and file in for a divorce. I was finally breathing again after so many years of holding my breath without even knowing.

I suddenly remembered my state and collected myself off the floor, and dragged myself to take a shower and search for some food in my fridge.

My cut didn`t look as bad, but it still needed to be thoroughly cleaned. As I winced at the pain that shot through my head while cleaning the cut, I felt like my entire mess of a life was meant to bring me in this moment. I worked very hard to get here, but it always felt like a higher force pushed me to never give up

My thoughts were suddenly cut short by my phone ringing next to me. I started jamming to the ringtone as it was my favourite song, 'Everywhere' by Fleetwood Mac. Words of advice? Never put your favourite song as your phones ringtone, or you'll never answer calls anymore.

"Hi Alexis! " I said while trying to sound cheery and not in pain.

"Please tell me you can get ready in 20. After the day you've had, you and me, pub, shots, good music"

All I wanted to do was to crawl in my bed and sleep, but the shots didn't sound bad at all after today. I shouldn't, should I?

"Look A, I feel like I could drop dead at any point. Can't we do that tomorrow or something? I am also old, and my bones hurt."

"I swear I will come and drag you out myself! Get yourself ready. We'll be 1 hour tops. It's just for us to unwind after today. Please?" Said Alexis in a pleading voice, which made me picture her puppy stare. It made me give up.

"Fine. See you in 20!"

I tried finding something to wear and had a quick snack while trying my best to tame my hair, which was now sticking in every direction.

I was done in 15, which was a new record, even for me, but Alexis was always before the stated time anyway.

A soft knock confirmed my theory.

"Girl, we are gonna have so much fun!" She didn't even finish her sentence, and she was already hugging me.

"If you say so! Let's go before I change my mind and into my pj's."

We arrived at the only Irish bar we had in the area. What can I say? I love a good Guinness.

The bar was absolutely packed and whilst making our way to the bar, in true Olivia fashion, a drunk girl turns around with her wine glass and spills it all on me.

I felt defeated at this point. What were the chances my clothes would be stained twice in one day?

"I swear Olivia! If there should be a new definition for attracting bad things, your name should definitely be mentioned." Alexis was a bit amused, and why lie? I was a bit amused as well by my own misery.

"I am a magnet. Let's grab some drinks and have no care in the world. Who cares? I am wearing red wine as an accessory today? Though I won't lie, coffee is a warmer accessory." I said while shrugging my head and laughing.

The night went on without further incidents, just me singing along to Dropkick Murphys a bit too loud. I needed this outing more than I knew.

I decided to walk back home while Alexis took a taxi to hers. It didn't make sense for her to make an extra trip for me. I lived 3 blocks away anyway.

With the headphones on I was vibing once again with a great tune. Didn't realise that I started dancing and twirling around the street while singing the lyrics softly to myself.

My last twirl wasn't really the greatest one in history, and I understood that while I felt my fall break when two arms enveloped me and kept me from hitting the ground.

"We've got to stop meeting like this, or I will believe you are doing it on purpose, Olivia," came a deep, slightly amused voice. I didn't get to see who it was because my eyes were shut in a desperate attempt to not let out a loud yelp.

While slowly opening my eyes, the figure started to come into focus. Pedro. If the ground could swallow me up right about now, that would be great.

"I...I am sorry." I said while straightening my clothes. I felt bold all of a sudden. The tequilla right helps as well.

" I could say the same. You seem to always be there whenever I fall. Are you stalking me, Pedro?"

It was a very sad and drunk attempt at a flirt. I am not proud of it.

" I am not!" He said panicked.

"I live about 2 blocks that way, and I wanted to go and grab my food and go back home and watch something boring enough to help me sleep."

He looked so good in that ligh. Hell, he looked good in any light. His messy hair, his eyes, the was his lips were pursed together.

I must have been staring because my trance was finished once he cleared his throat.

" I would say take a photo. It will last longer, but you already did today. Quite a few as well." By the time he finished, I was blushing more than a teenager.

" I am going to the pizza place down the road. If you want, you can join me. At least I won't be taking my pizza and eating it like a loner." Pedro said while hoping that he didn't cross any line with you.

"To be honest, I am so hungry. Alexis took me out of work, and I literally had a small snack before going out. So, sure."

We strolled towards the pizza place while talking about various topics. Once we reached the destination, he stepped in front of me and opened the door.

I was shocked. No one has ever done that small gesture for me.

As we took our seats at the table, he insisted on holding the chair out for me. It was like I have lived in the wilderness before I met him.

"Ready to order?" Asked our waiter.

We ordered our food and drinks and fell into a very comfortable conversation. We started getting deeper into the subject that is our lives. Our upbringing and our weird phases, parents, and so on.

Me, the antisocial, was talking like I have known him my entire life. I was so comfortable with sharing my past with this man. Not all of it, but parts that I wasn't ashamed of. Being married and divorcing after I was abused by a man didn't seem like the kind of topic to bring up, so I didn't, mostly because I was scared he'll think less of me. Not that I was much to even cross his mind.

He was talking about his heritage, about Chile, and his eyes were positively sparkling with joy. They exploded with joy once I told him about my trip to Santiago, Chile, and how the whole culture made me fall in love with the city.

"You've been to Chile? That's amazing!"

"I was 19. I wanted to take a once in a lifetime trip before life really started. I picked Chile, mainly because I was always drawn to its culture. It didn't disappoint one bit. I still have my good friend, Alejandra there. I've been telling her for ages that I will visit again, but life got in the way." I said while remembering my times there. Dancing with the locals. Letting myself get engulfed by its dishes and all-around culture.

" Your smile is just as big as mine whenever I mention Chile. I am glad you like my home country and city. But what do you mean life got in the way? You still took days off, didn't you? Nothing is more important than living your life to the fullest." He said while taking a sip out of his beer.

Suddenly, flashbacks started happening, and before I knew it, I excused myself and went to the bathroom trying to compose myself. My anxiety was taking over, and soon enough, I began sobbing uncontrollably. I couldn't catch my breath. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't run away from the memories of him. I couldn't run away from his screams and drunken benders. I could still feel his fingers lingering on my body, making me feel worthless.

" Liv? Are you okay? It's been a while. You have me worried." He said while softly knocking on the door.

"I'll be out in a minute," I said between sniffles, taking deep breaths while trying to control myself. I fixed myself in the mirror and emerged through the door to a Pedro with his back leaning on the wall just in front of the door. He had a worried look on his face, and I could see he was replaying our conversation in his head, trying to make sense.

I made my way to the table with him following me. We sat down, and we ate in silence. I never thought silence could hurt more.

We paid for the bill and made our way out. Walking in the same direction, I felt the need to break the silence.

" I usually never get like this. It's just... whenever you asked how life got in the way, I got pulled back in the past. It's not something that I want to go through again. That's all. I am sorry for ruining your night. I didn't mean to." I said while picking at my hand, trying my best not to break down again.

He didn't say anything but put his arm around me and pulled me in a hug.

" Whatever it is that broke you this badly. I am sorry that you went through it. I can't imagine putting anyone I love through that. He didn't deserve you." And kissed the top of my head.

I was stunned. I didn't know what to say or how to react. How did he even know? How did he even piece it together that easily? He must have known because my relationship with my family is rock solid, and I only have a very carefully picked group of friends.

" I would rather not talk about it. At least, not now. It was a dark part of my life, a part I am trying my best to leave behind me. I appreciate your words, and I definitely appreciated the way you were with me tonight. I've never experienced it. Whoever will get to be with you, she will be one lucky lady."

" You really talk a lot when you get anxious, don't you?" He looked amused at me. " But, thank you. I have yet to find someone to call mine. I might never. I am not getting any younger. You still have a real chance of finding someone who treats you the way you deserve it. To open doors for you, or hold your chair out. To catch you whenever you fall. You deserve that Liv" he said while taking my hands in his.

At this point, I thought I was in some parallel universe. There was no way this was actually happening to me. Me? Never! But yet here I am. In front of this amazing guy that half the planet would love to be with. Being told that I deserve happiness. That I deserve to be loved.

I was suddenly being held close to his chest with his hand rubbing my back. The hand went higher and higher until it reached my right cheek. While stroking it, my head kept getting gently tilted upwards, and soon, I was looking into his eyes. Even his eyes were softly smiling.

"I would say we both waited too long to connect with someone in the way we did today. I have never felt so comfortable near anyone. I have never felt the need to make someone smile more than I wanted to make you smile today. I guess, sometimes waiting for what feels like a lifetime is worth it. May I?" His monologue left me breathless and speechless. His eyes were now darting from my lips to my eyes. It was his way of subtly asking for permission to kiss me.

Still stunned, I moved my face closer to his, our noses touching. My way of telling him that I have never wanted to kiss someone else as much as I wanted to kiss him.

He leaned in all the way, and I was met with the softest and purest kiss I have ever experienced. It was filled with the emotions of the words he just said to me. It was filled with years of waiting and hoping we'll find our happy ending.

He held me so tight and yet not firm enough that I couldn't move. The front of our shoes were touching as well as to say 'It took you long enough to find me'.

My life was falling into place right then and there.

I could feel he felt the same as he parted from me, not before kissing the tip of my nose.

" Let's get you home safely. You've had a full day. We'll pick up where we left it tomorrow, hopefully on an official date?" He asked while following my movements, trying to get home.

Pedro held my hand the whole way through and always made sure he would face me when talking. He stole another kiss in front of my door and let it linger as we both didn't want to part ways.

" See you tomorrow at 7 pm? I'll pick you up and wear whatever you want. You'll look good anyway. Don't stress about it too much. It's just gonna be us two somewhere in town on a date. Deal?" He said while holding my waist and looking at me with reassurance.

" Deal. Can't really vouch for the no stress bit, but I will try." I was feeling like I was floating.

We kissed again and off he went.

While closing my door, I woke up sliding against it once again, but this time, I was smiling so much, and my face hurt. I couldn't believe what a turn tonight took.

One thing I wasn't aware of. Today was meant to happen just like that. With me going through everything and him being there for me.

#writer #words #relationship #pedro pascal #writing #fluff #pedro pascal fanfiction

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mctna2019 · 1 year

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Seon-ho and Sung-rok relationship(2)

About Sung-rok: He seems to be a rough and hard character, he doesn't get caught up in his personal emotions (although those emotions are somehow responsible for his death) and perhaps his most important and best trait is his loyalty. He is a person who acts more than talks. He got to where he is through difficult circumstances, I think the Jurchens were also a people who were looked down upon a lot so it's not nice for him to see someone like Seon-ho rising at such a young age (it's not about jealousy, he thinks Seon-ho is a selfish and spoiled kid who hides behind his father) but he isn't and Sung-rok doesn't know, he humiliates Seon-ho for that. his perspective changes when Seon-ho offers him to work for him.His pride won't allow it, but I love that scene both (Seon-ho's authority) and how Sung-rok quickly makes his decisive decision and shows his loyalty to him from the very beginning.Of course we lose a lot about the two of them after that sequence (how they got closer) also that two years they spent with jurchens.He has a grudge against Hwi (because of Liaodong) but Seon-ho forces him to spy on Hwi (and Sung-rok knows that it's not actually spying but Seon-ho's way of protecting Hwi) and I love the scenes that how he got angry at Seon-ho's behavior.(Among all the characters who considered Hwi a hero, he was the only one who didn't have a good relationship with Hwi, and this is interesting, on the other hand, it shows how much he cares for Seon-ho) Seon-ho is a fool (I love him, but He was really stupid by following and having some sort of dangerous addiction to Hwi, even though I love their bromance the truth doesn't change) Sung-rok keeps warning him about the consequences of following Hwi, but what's more interesting It’s that Sung-rok follows such a person. He can leave Seon-ho over and over again (I don't mean that Seon-ho deserves to be abandoned by him, it's what we expect him to do considering the character he has) but he doesn't leave Seon-ho. He fully consciously and voluntarily sinks into that pit slowly and mostly with Seon-ho.From one point on, no matter what Seon-ho does, Sung-rok is always by his side. I don't know his moral principles, but Seon-ho wanted to build an equal country in which there was definitely a place for Sung-rok's people too(Jorchens), on the other hand, Seon-ho couldn't fulfill his promises and failed. And that's another reason why Sung-rok could let him go (I'm so thankful he didn't). You know, I think he saw Seon-ho's intentions when others didn't (as I always say, him and Yeon) I don't know if it was just that or something else, maybe he saw someone who was very lonely and fragile and needed to be protected, like a younger brother . All this breaks my heart even more.Someone wrote that Sung-rok saw the truth in Seon-ho. Hwi has three friends who like his father, he also has Hui-jae and Bang Won to support him and lift him up whenever he failed, but after Yeon's death, Seon-ho only and only has Sung-rok.Sung-rok wants to do all those things alone and fill the place of all the people Seon-ho doesn't have and be his family. Yes, Hwi was Seon-ho's best friend, Hwi and Yeon are his country and in a way his family, but Sung-rok is definitely a family to Seon-ho all those twelve years and supported him, trusted him and never leaved him alone. That's what makes him so precious to me, no matter what his principles were, he really fought honorably.I'm glad he was able to tell Seon-ho that being with him didn't feel bad for him and reassured Seon-ho. I can't forget his eyes whenever Seon-ho was hurt. He had a kind heart and opened it only for Seon-ho. I'm glad that Seon-ho also noticed and was aware and appreciative of all his work. And it calmed me down so much that Jeong Bum (I loved him so much) treated his corpse with respect and even buried him instead of Seon-ho who was injured. Although his death was very sad, the way he looked at Seon-ho, the words he wanted to say and couldn't, breaks me all the more.

#my country the new age #my country: the new age #mctna #nam seon ho #hwang sung rok #It is first time I'm writing about him in this way

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