#yes i've heard this song many times before tonight i just didn't expect it to hurt me this badly <3

[mashmouths]

florence welch shouldn't be allowed to write songs bc what if i listen to one and it punches a hole in my chest. no for real what do i do i'm bleeding out in my kitchen.

[lousypotatoes]

I've Got A Smile On My Face

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3 Pt. 4 Pt. 5 Pt. 6 Pt. 7 Pt. 8 Pt. 9 Pt. 10 Pt. 11

Song Recommendation:

Always - Irving Berlin

Warning! This chapter contains depictions of panic attacks, and graphic violence! If this triggers you or makes you uncomfy in any way shape or form, please read with caution.

90 years ago...

It had been six months since Alastor kissed Y/N on her front porch. As expected, the two of them were now an item.

During the span of those six months, everything was absolutely perfect. The flower shop was thriving, Alastor's radio show was more popular than ever, Jasper didn't come by the shop since their interaction, and most importantly, Alastor and Y/N were so very much in love, Y/N felt that she fell more in love with him every time she saw him.

The only thing she didn't like about their relationship was the big secret she had to keep from him.

There were times that she oh so badly wanted to tell Alastor that her real job was killing people, and that running the flower shop was a cover up, but she was terrified that he was going to be disgusted with her, and leave her.

And Y/N didn't know what she would do if Alastor left.

It was mid afternoon, almost noon. The weather outside was very rainy and very stormy. Y/N was arranging the shelves, making sure the flower buds were facing the front.

It always annoyed her when customers would look at flowers and not put them back the correct way.

When she was done, she walked to the register and counted the money.

She sighed. Business was very slow that day, obviously because of the rain. She had almost considered closing the shop up early and going home, but felt it was better to just stay, just in case any customers came in after the rain cleared up.

Sitting down the chair behind the counter, Y/N put her head in her hands, bored as ever.

Hopefully Alastor would come and visit her. He always did, but Y/N thought he might not today obviously because of the stormy weather.

To her surprise and delight, she heard the bell ring, signaling that there was a customer.

"Hello can I help yo-Alastor!"

"Hello, my love," Alastor said, swooping down to catch Y/N in a kiss.

Y/N would never get tired of kissing Alastor, no matter how many time she did kiss him. It was like magic every time.

"How has your day been?" Alastor asked as he pulled away.

"Very slow, but much better now that you're here," Y/N smiled. "How was yours?"

"As slow as molasses," Alastor sighed. "I had to cancel all my broadcasts today because of this damn weather."

"Oh, that's a shame," she said. "It seems like this weather is bringin' everybody down."

"You can say that again," he said. "You thinking of heading home early?"

"I was thinkin' 'bout it," she replied. "I think I'll stick around for a few more hours."

"Well, if you're not busy tonight," Alastor said, grabbing onto her hips. "How about dinner at my place?"

"Depends," Y/N said, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Are you gonna be the one cookin'?"

"Of course," he chuckled.

"Then I'll have to take a rain check on that," she giggled. "Dinner sounds nice, what time should I swing by?"

"I prefer around six," Alastor answered..

"Six it is," Y/N said. "You gonna head back home?"

"I suppose so, yes. I gotta tidy up a bit."

"All that for me?"

"Only the best for you, my dear," Alastor said, sincere. "I'll catch you later tonight."

"Aw, alright," Y/N pouted. "If I ain't there by at least seven, you better come and get me and drag me back to your place."

"Alright, I will, I promise," he laughed before leaning down and placing his lips on Y/N's.

The kiss was sweet and loving, as it always was. The way their lips perfectly molded against each other, like they were made for each other, made Y/N's heart feel like it was about to burst.

The only reason they broke apart was so they could breath air.

If Y/N could, she would make Alastor her air.

"Goodbye, Al," she smiled up at him. "I love you."

"I love you most," he said, before letting go of her.

He gave her one more smile before walking out of the shop, the bell ringing, signaling his leave.

Y/N walked back behind the counter, a dreamy smile on her face.

"I'm going to marry that man someday," she dreamily said to herself.

Even though it was rainy and story outside, nothing could ruin this perfect day.

It was 5:45 in the evening. Y/N was counting the money in the register for the twelfth time that day.

Besides Alastor, only three other people came in the shop that day.

Screw the rainy weather. No one even likes rain that much anyway.

Looking up at the clock, Y/N decided that she was going to stop working, and head over to Alastor's

Going into the back room, she put the money into a safe under a fake floorboard, checked her nightly schedule for that week (thankfully she only had to kill two people that week), and grabbed her umbrella and her raincoat, preparing to go into the cold rainy weather.

Walking out of the back room, she was stopped dead in her tracks, a look of fear and despair on her face.

"J-Jasper," she choked. "What are you doin' here?"

The two of them hadn't interacted since the incident in the flower shop six months ago. Y/N had hoped that Jasper had taken the hint and decided to leave her alone.

But this was Jasper we're talking about, and things never were easy with him, no matter how big or small the situation was.

"Just came to say hi," he said, a sadistic and gleeful smile on his face. He was holding something behind his back, but Y/N didn't know what.

"It's been a while since we've seen each other, thought we could catch up a bit."

He started to walk closer to Y/N, she started to back up.

"So now you're with that mama's boy, Alastor Altruist, huh?" he said, still grinning. "Didn't think you would be into a weirdo like that, but oh well."

Y/N didn't say anything, too frozen in fear to say a single word.

Jasper then revealed what was behind his back. It was a long, thin, razor sharp blade, the kind that Y/N would use when she didn't feel like using any of her guns.

If you wanted to kill someone real quick, you would use a blade like the one Jasper had.

Y/N's eyes widened in fear and terror.

She had a small pistol in her office, but there was no way she was going to be able to get it without putting up a fight.

"Y'know darling," he drawled, creeping very slowly towards her. "I didn't quite like the things you said to me the last time we talked.

Y/N gulped, slowly inching herself towards a shelf holding a dozen flower vases.

Jasper didn't notice. "Not gonna say anything, huh?" he asked, eyes glinting sinisterly.

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt you, I'm just gonna spill your fuckin' guts out."

Jasper lunged at Y/N, ready to strike.

Quickly, Y/N grabbed one of the vases on the shelf, and smashed it over Jasper's head, glass shards and flowers going everywhere all over the floor.

"You bitch!" Jasper snarled. He stopped in his tracks for a moment, clutching his bleeding head.

Y/N took this opportunity to try and run out of the front door.

She decided that it was stupid if she locked herself in her back room. If she ran out the front door, she could just run to the nearest public place and get help.

She was just a few feet from the door, when Jasper grabbed onto her wrist, twisting it hard.

Y/N turned around and was getting ready to punch him in the jaw, but that was replaced with a cry of pain and anguish.

Jasper had stabbed Y/N in the stomach, just above where her belly button was.

Y/N's eyes widened in surprise and fear, crying out again when Jasper stabbed her a second time.

"How does that feel?" he whispered. "Doesn't feel too good does it?"

"F-" Y/N stuttered. "Fuck you!"

With a snarl, Jasper stabbed her in the shoulder.

Blood was oozing out of all three of her stab wounds, staining both her and Jasper's clothes, and staining the white marble tile.

Jasper dragged her away, propping her in a siting position behind the counter.

"No one's gonna find you right here," he smirked. "Besides, you'll die in at least thirty minutes anyway."

Y/N knew that wasn't right, but didn't say anything, scared out of her mind.

What was she going to do?

She wasn't ready to die.

She didn't want to die.

What would happen to her shop?

What would happen to precious dog, Honey?

What would happen to Alastor?

As one last 'fuck you', Jasper bent down, kissed Y/N's sweaty forehead, and walked out the front door, the bell chiming.

As soon as he left, Y/N tried to get off the ground. She tried at least five times. But each time she tried, she failed, she fell back onto the ground with a painful wail.

After the fifth time, she stared up at the ceiling, wondering what would happen when someone found her body.

Maybe this was karma for all the people she had killed over the fifteen years she had been an assassin, she thought.

As Y/N thought about it more, she actually didn't feel like she was going to die. Yes, it was painful, but it just felt like she hadn't had any sleep in a really long time.

And she really wanted to sleep.

She looked up at the clock. It was 5:58.

She laughed dryly. If only she had left a little bit earlier, even if it was just a minute, she wouldn't of been on the floor bleeding out.

With one last sigh coming out of her mouth, she closed her eyes, succumbing to the darkness, and passed out thinking about Alastor and her dog.

In no way she was ready to die, or wanted to, but she accepted that there was nothing she could do, and that this was karma.

She deserved to die, she thought

CLIFFHANGER

i wont be uploading any time this weekend or next weekend because i'll be in disneyland

i'm so excited

stay safe and drink lots of water <33

xoxo, Izzy

Taglist 💋

@maksdust @trippoverrt @slytherin4ever @lucifers-silhouette @a-small-tyrant

@mo-0-o @cutiebimbo @mommymilkers0526 @mikariell95 @al-of-the-stars

@martinys-world @bibliophile-yomna @mysticwitchcraftco @notsoaverageguy-1997 @flamewriterr

[snailor-bee]

You're the Lucky One

GN!Reader / SFW / 1.5k

Summary: Kyojuro is called to help out a fellow demon slayer on a mission. It's easy enough, but somehow you weren't quite what he was expecting. Tags: Kyojuro POV, no pronouns for reader, pre-relationship.

Song: "The Lucky One" - Alison Krauss

Branches blocked out the faint light of the stars, the leaves rustling in the breeze. The moon was absent tonight, making the forest feel that much more dark and foreboding. 

Not that that bothered Kyojuro. He stretched his senses out, bright smile trained on his face as he walked briskly down the path. 

He heard a noise before he saw anything. Kyojuro cocked his head as he turned the bend and he saw you. Ah, ha! So you were close by. 

Hurrying his steps, he was careful not to make a noise. As he got closer, the sound you were making cleared into a song. He couldn't quite make out the words but the melody was crisp and clear. Lovely, in a strange way, though why you were attracting attention in a demon-filled forest was beyond him! 

He'd been hoping to surprise you—it was important to always keep one's senses up!—but somewhere above a crow cawed and you looked over your shoulder, voice halting suddenly. The quiet seemed oppressive in the song’s absence. 

"Oh!" you said, dipping your head in a slight bow. "Rengoku-san, isn't it?" 

"Yes! I was alerted to help out a fellow demon slayer, as I was close by!" he boomed as he came up to you, his voice echoed out into the forest but he figured it didn't matter. If demons were close they would have already heard you singing. "What's your name?" 

"That's very kind of you!" you said with a smile and gave your name before you turned to continue walking. "I was just scouting the area."

Kyojuro began to walk beside you and he hummed. "Very good! I will just be here for assistance if you need it. Otherwise, I will let you take care of things!" 

Normally, lower-ranked demon slayers got nervous at that. They figured his presence meant they didn't have to do any work themselves and could instead sit back to let the Hashira handle things. Not at all what should happen! Kyojuro was adamant that experience was the best teacher. 

But you didn't falter, just nodded your assent, eyes trained on the treeline that booked the path on both sides. 

"Do you like music, Rengoku-san?" you asked suddenly. 

He blinked a few times at the question. "Well enough!" he answered quickly. 

"Do you have any favorites?"

"Not that I know of!" Unbidden, a memory of his mother singing a lullaby came to mind. Warmth filled him and he let the memory linger for just a moment before he pushed it aside.

"Would you like to hear a song that makes me think of you?" 

"Perhaps after the mission is completed!" He didn't know why you were asking such a thing, but it seemed harmless enough. 

Kyojuro sensed something from his right and was just opening his mouth to point it out to you when another bird caw had you turning sharply, eyes intent in the direction he felt a demon lurking. 

Wordlessly you stepped off the path and Kyojuro let you take the lead, ever-present smile growing. How interesting! You'd found it all on your own.

"You're the lucky one, so I've been told." Kyojuro almost jumped with surprise as your voice suddenly rang out, singing again. "As free as the wind blowing down the road." 

If it wasn't for your hand on the hilt of your sword, Kyojuro might have reprimanded you. Still, you seemed focused enough, random singing moment aside. 

You stopped in the middle of a clearing, back straight. He could sense your breathing as it weaved along with the words you sang. Interesting, he hadn't seen someone do that before. "Loved by many, hated by none... " The words drifted before all once, the sound of claws hitting steel rang out. 

The demon had lunged and you met it easily. Just as the demon was jumping back, you followed, swiftly cutting off its head. 

You didn't relax, both hands firmly grasping the hilt of your katana. Good. Kyojuro could feel several more demons rushing towards the two of you. 

"You look at the world with a smiling eye and laugh at the devil as his train goes by."  You were smiling, Kyojuro noticed with a gleam of intrigue. "Give you a song and a one-night stand and you'll be lookin' at a happy man, 'cause you're the lucky one!" At the end of the line, another demon burst out into the clearing and you rushed to meet it. 

The battle was easily won, a swarm of demons descended upon you but you handled them all with ease. They were low-level demons but apparently they had sectioned out this forest amongst themselves, as travelers frequently had to travel down its path in order to trade and barter between the towns on either side of it. 

Kyojuro only had to intervene at the end, when a demon tried to jump you from behind while you were busy beheading another. A roar of flames briefly lit up the space, bringing with it a rush of heat before they faded, leaving only the two of you standing there. 

"That was amazing, Rengoku-san!" you praised, sheathing your katana. 

"I could say the same about you!" Kyojuro returned, just as joyfully as he did the same. "You did great work!" 

You smiled back. "That means a lot, coming from a Hashira. I'm sad though!" Suddenly your expression fell and Kyojuro stared back, suddenly worried you'd gotten injured without him noticing. "I barely got to see your flames," you continued with a pout.

Kyojuro burst out into surprised laughter. "I apologize! I felt it better to eliminate the demon rather than show off." At his teasing tone, you shoved at him playfully as you walked back towards the path. 

"That's not what I meant, Rengoku-san!" 

"What did you mean then?" he asked, suddenly curious. 

You hummed, clasping your hands together. "Ah! Well. It might seem a little silly but it's like a goal of mine to be able to see all the different forms of breathing!" 

"I see!" Kyojuro burst out. "I don't think that's silly at all!" 

Giggling, you shrugged a little self-consciously. "Thank you. A lot of people think it's weird but I just think it's really cool to see the differences and how people take to the techniques. Water breathing looks like dancing, don't you think? And of course Thunder is so fast! I could barely see anything at all but the impact—" You clapped your hands together "—that sudden boom is just so electrifying, wouldn't you say?" 

"HA! I would!!" Kyojuro agreed with enthusiasm, laughing loudly at your pun. 

"And you look just like a flame!" you gushed leaning into Kyojuro's space as he smiled back. "With your hair and eyes, it's really beautiful!" 

Unbidden a flush rose to his cheeks with your easy honesty and compliment. His smile didn't waver though. "Thank you!" 

"Mmhm." 

The conversation petered out as the two of you hit the path. Kyojuro felt a bit flattered but also curious. 

"If I may ask a question?" 

"Of course," you looked up at him. 

"Why was it that you were singing before? Aren't you concerned about demons hearing it?" 

The wind whistled as it rustled your hair and clothes. "Not really," you replied. "I sing all the time. I've found demons think that it means I won't hear them coming and encourages them to charge me. It's actually worked out more in my favor because I don't have to chase after them." You tilted your head before smiling wide. "I think it's important to have any kind of joy we can in this life, you know? Singing makes me happy, so does witnessing new breathing techniques I haven't seen yet. I know these are small things but every day may be our last. I try to cling to the things that lift my spirits." 

"I see!" Kyojuro felt the tips of his fingertips tingling, excitement and joy rushing through him. "I think that's a great way to look at things and I greatly encourage you to continue doing so!" 

You thanked him and Kyojuro watched you from the corner of his eye. This was the first time he had met you but he liked your spirit immensely.

Yelling your name loudly, you jumped but dutifully turned to face him when he stopped walking. "I would love to show you the rest of my flame breathing, if you'd like!" He crossed his arms, looking above your head, not quite wanting to meet your eyes. 

Gasping loudly, you grabbed onto his arm, jumping in place with excitement. "Really?! That would be so great, Rengoku-san!" 

He nodded. "It will depend when we arrive at a Wisteria House but if neither of us are called out on a mission—"

"Then let's go at once!" you interrupted, grabbing at a wrist and tugging him down the path. "There's ten forms isn't there? Oh, I can't wait! You'll show all of them won't you?" 

Laughing, Kyojuro caught up to your pace easily and agreed readily. 

Neither mentioned how long it took for you to finally drop your grip from his wrist and Kyojuro didn't bring up the fact that the skin where you touched felt almost like it burned. 

A thought to explore later, maybe. His smile grew. 

[sadgirlstoohightocare]

I'll Take Care Of You

Summary: Reader, Scott, and Stiles sneak into the high school library to get drunk. Turns out, reader gets "excited" when she drinks.

Word count: 1k

Warning: maybe some swearing, under age drinking, (not recommended), partial nudity, many cheesy pickup lines, and fluff

A/n: just an edit, I honestly didn't expect this many people to like what I put out there, thank you guys so much and let me know what else you'd like see.

Stiles POV

"Just shut up and follow me." Yn said annoyed with me and Scott. The two of us stopped bickering and did as we were told. We were each trying to find a place to get black out drunk and Scott and I were arguing about where we should go. Yn was going through a lot and just wanted some kind of release. She texted the group chat telling us; I stole a bottle from my dad, with or without you guys I'm getting wasted. Ever since Yn moved to Beacon Hills, freshmen year, I had it bad for her so of course I was in.

"Ok here, this is perfect" Yn said before plopping down in the back of the school library "Did we really have to break into the school?" Scott asked, Yn opened the bottle and smirked at him. "Yes, life is about taking risks." she said before taking a swig from the bottle of spiced rum, she scrunched her nose at the sting the liquid left behind, and passed it to me. "Yeah and dealing with the supernatural isn't taking risks." I said sarcastically before taking a drink of the rum and handing to Scott forgetting he couldn't get drunk.

"Fine we take risks but not fun ones, I mean you gotta admit that the thought of getting caught riles you up just a bit."

"That sounds kinda perverted." Scott said taking the bottle from me and handing it to Yn

"Scott, no offence but like, you can't get drunk so why are you here?" Yn questioned taking another long swig from the bottle.

"I'm just being emotional support."

About an hour or so passed and Yn and I were so wasted we could barely walk, and laughed every time we stumbled over one another.

"I'm starting to regret being emotional support."

"Awe Scotty , don't be a sour wolf." Yn teased with a slur causing both of us to start laughing.

(Time skip)

Scott, somehow, got us back to my house and as soon as we walked through the door Yn jumped onto the couch with her feet dangling over the arm rest. Luckily my dad was working a night shift so when the both of us were loud no one was there to wake.

"Is she gonna be ok?" Scott asked me, to which I nodded my head. "Yeah, she'll have a hang over tomorrow but she'll be fine." "Don't forget that you'll have one too." Yn loudly interrupted our conversation with a fit of giggles. "What's up Yn?" I asked in a sing-song tone as I walked over to the couch. "Mmm, c'mere." She whispered to me, I did as she said and got a little closer.

"Are you a parking ticket... Cause you got fine written all over you. Oh wait wait wait I gotta a better one... Hey I'm  Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?" She burst out laughing once more.

"Wow is she drunk, well good luck with that. I gotta text from Allison so I'm gonna go."

"What happened to 'emotional support'?"

"I did my part, and besides Allison probably wants to do it, so if I had to choose between sex and two drunk idiots, I choose sex" Yn laughed even louder at what Scott had just said causing the both of us to look back at her.

"Who knows Stiles, maybe Scott's not the only one getting laid tonight."

"I'm gonna put her in the shower and see if that does the trick." 

"Yeah, I've heard shower sex is the best." I guess when Yn's drunk she gets... horny.

Scott left to Allison's leaving me to deal with a horny and drunk Yn. "C'mon" I said helping her off the couch and up the stares. We reached the bathroom and that's when she kissed me, I could still taste the rum on her lips. "Fuck me Stiles" She practically moaned "C'mon Yn, in the tub." She did exactly as I said but was very wobbly. "Easy, here maybe you should sit." Again she did as I said.

Before I turned the water on I could hear her giggle, "I thought of an other one. Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?" She asked and laughed at her own joke. I turned the water on and let it hit her making her clothes cling the her body and making the white shirt she wore see through and the navy blue bra she wore visible, but she didn't care. "I'm washing me in my clothes." she mumbled  her favorite vine making me laugh slightly, kneeling down to be near her head. "Mmm Stiles, I love your laugh..." she trailed off slightly "...And I love your eyes, your hair, your stupid cute face, and those hands mmm, what I'd let those hands do to me." I gulped at her words. She doesn't mean that she's drunk, the alcohol is clouding her judgment. "What would I have to do get those hands to touch me just how I want to be touched?" "Well a; Be sober. And b; ask." I said knowing she wouldn't remember the next day. "Does it count if I'm half sober?" "You are not half sober." she laughed quietly "If your scared it'd be 'taking advantage' of me then let me tell you a secret... Drunk or sober, I. Want. You. Stiles." She said finally opening her eyes to look at me, she then groaned at the light. "It'd still feel wrong Yn." "I get it. I'm kinda tired anyway." She said before closing her eyes again.

I let the water hit her body for a couple more minutes and finally turned it off. As soon as I did so she started to shiver "C'mere" I mumbled with a towel open, she stood up already looking less wobbly. I wrapped the towel around her still shriving body and helped her out of the tub. "You always know how to take care of me, your the best Stiles. Any girl would be lucky to have you." She mumbled leaning into me. "Lets go find you some new clothes." I said guiding her to my room. I rifled through my drawers looking for something for Yn to wear when I heard her giggle again slightly. "I thought of another one... Are you French? Because Eiffel for you." She giggled again, I pulled out one of my flannels and some boxers for her to wear. "Hey Stiles, I mean as much as I'm enjoying being drunk, y'know you could have given me bread to soak up the alcohol and some coffee and then the shower as a last resort but you do you... Boo, sorry I saw a rhyming opportunity and I took it." Yn said sounding slightly less drunk. God she's cute when she rambles.

"Do you need help getting dressed or...?" I asked to which she shook her head and attempted to take her shirt off but was struggling. "Stupid wet fabric" she mumbled "Ok I need help." she admitted. I pulled her shirt over her head leaving her in her soaking wet bra. She looked at me and for a second she looked stone cold sober. "You never answered my question... Does it count if I'm half sober?" I leaned my forehead against hers. "I don't want to risk it Yn" I said quietly "Life is about taking risks... fun risks." "Your drunk Yn" I told her pulling my head away slowly "you drank as much I did, how are you still resisting this." she said pulling my hand up to her chest. I pulled my hand away gently and turned her around undoing her bra and letting it fall to the floor before putting the flannel on her, but she turned around with the flannel not buttoned at all yet still covering her chest "I'm sorry." she said leaving me slightly confused.

"I've been annoying and asking you to do something your uncomfortable with and you stayed by me helping me somehow, I mean shouldn't you be as drunk as me?" I started buttoning up the flannel "I weigh more than you Yn, and I was pretty drunk earlier, but the walk here kinda sobered me up and besides you kinda hogged the bottle." She laughed through her nose "Um this is a little embarrassing but I think if I tried to pull my pants down I'd fall so...?" she questioned, I nodded and sat her on the bed before guiding her Jean's down her legs, careful not to look at her lady bits, I slid the boxers up her legs, by the way she was now talking I could tell she was sobering up. "It's fine by the way. Nothing you do would annoy me." Yn got up to adjust the boxers by folding them at the waist so they would fit. "I'm so tired" she yawned "If you want we can watch a movie." I suggested to which she nodded getting into my bed and under my blankets. I put on her all time favorite movie and got dressed into some sweats and a t-shirt. I crawled into bed beside her cuddling her, she seemed to be fast asleep so I pressed a kiss on her head. "I love you." I said quietly, not to wake her but to my surprise she wasn't asleep. "I love you too Stiles." she mumbled into my chest.

[bubblegumbi0tch]

The Workout

Trainer iwa x reader

Why do you continue to do this to yourself?" Your best friend asked from beside you.

"What do you mean? I'm going to the gym." You said, laughing as she pulled up to your gym.

"Yeah exactly, we could be getting ready to go out right now, you know?" She said, giving you puppy dog eyes.

"You mean we could be getting all dressed up to go out with your boyfriend while I'll awkwardly be the third wheel?" You corrected, opening the car door.

"You make a fair point." She laughed. "Besides, I think I know why you come here now." She said, looking out her windscreen.

"And why is that?" You said, hopping out of the car but bending down so you could still talk to her.

"Him." She stated, pointing at the man in the doorway of the gym.

"Oh yeah, that's my trainer, Iwaizumi." You winked at her before shutting the door and walking over to him.

You greeted  

 and went inside to put your stuff away before going into the weights room to see Iwaizumi.

"I thought you weren't going to show up; it's almost eight," Iwaizumi said as you walked over to him.

"I was debating whether or not to show up. My friend was tempting me with a night out of drinking instead of a night of aching muscles." You laughed while drinking some water. "And you chose me. I'm touched, Y/N." Iwaizumi said, smiling wide, placing his hand on your shoulder.

"Yeah, well, I'm just hoping you can go easy on me tonight." You replied. "Not exactly; we're going to do a more intense workout tonight." He said, moving closer to you.

"Yay." You sighed, pushing him back and heading towards the pull-up bars.

You and Iwaizumi worked out for about 80 minutes when you finally decided that you needed a break.

"Why are you stopping?" Iwaizumi said, catching his breath.

"You weren't joking when you said this was going to be more intense than our other sessions Iwaizumi." 

You said, collapsing onto the ground. Iwaizumi just stared and snickered at you. "You're mean Iwaizumi, I don't think I can move." You breathed, looking at the ceiling.

"Here." Iwaizumi said, sitting beside you to give you some water. "Tonight's workout wasn't even that intense. It's like a walk in the park." He said, suddenly making you choke on your water.

"Are you insane a walk in the park?" You asked, shocked. "Not even Satan wouldn't have made me do anything that you've made me do tonight." You said, grabbing onto Iwaizumi's shoulder.

"That's a tiny overreaction (y/n)." Iwaizumi laughed, following you out of the room.

"No, you're wrong. I'm one thousand percent certain that right now I'm a ghost, and my corpse is back in there." You said, pointing to the room, trying to conceal your smile.

"Oh really (y/n)?" He asked as you stood outside the women's changing rooms. You nodded, and he shook his head. "So I take it we're done for tonight." He said as he looked around the empty gym.

You two usually worked out late when the gym was basically empty, you didn't like to work out in front of many people, and he preferred to just focus on you.

"Don't expect to see me for a month; I need to relax." You laughed, opening the changing room door.

"Good. That means no more late nights." Iwaizumi laughed; you pushed him slightly, not finding his joke funny. "Are you going to belong? I have to lock up." Izumi smiled sweetly at you.

"I'm going to take my time ok. I need to wash all this sweat off me".You said, smiling sweetly back at him.

"I happen to think it looks great on you." Iwazumisaid winking. "You're the only one that gets to see me like this." You said, winking back before going into the changing room.

Once you grabbed your bag from your locker, you undressed and put a towel around your body. You headed to the shower, making sure it was warm enough for you.

All you wanted to do was have a bath when you get home, but you couldn't wait that long feeling as gross as you do.

While you were in the shower, Iwazumi went back into the room you two were working out in. He packed some things away and noticed your sports jacket that you took off because you were too hot.

He picked it up so he could give it to you when your phone fell out of the pocket, the screen lit up, and a message from your best friend appeared. Actually, a few did.

F/N: Hey, what time are you finishing? Do you want me to pick you up?

F/N: I'm assuming by your lack of response, you're still working out.

F/N: Or is handsome taking you home? God, he's gorgeous.

F/N: Your workout can't be keeping you this busy.

F/N: Or is he keeping you busy?

F/N: Are you two doing it? You can tell me. You know I won't judge; you know sex is classed as work out.

F/N: You're a terrible friend for not replying. I'm just going to have to assume you're banging him. Call me later. I want some details later.

Iwaizumi laughed to himself after briefly looking at the messages and decided to go and give it to you.

He knocked on the changing room door and didn't get a reply, so he just assumed you were either changing or in the shower; he quietly opened the door and walked into the room.

He saw your bag lying out with your workout clothes next to it and placed your phone on them. As he went to leave, he heard you singing softly in the shower.

"You know (y/n) I like the song when the actual artist sings it," Iwaizumi said, startling you. 

"Iwaizumi, what the hell are you doing?" You shouted, looking around.

"Don't worry, I'm not staring (y/n)." He said, calming you slightly, not that it helped in any way.

"I meant what the hell are you doing in here." You said sternly.

"I was giving you your phone." He stated. "Do you want a lift home?" He asked out of the blue.

"Yes, please, after I've gotten dressed." You said as you started to turn the shower off.

"Clothing isn't optional." He said, and you could practically see his smirk.

"I'll follow your lead." You said, smirking to yourself as you grabbed the towel. You didn't hear Iwaizumi's reply, but you did hear some shuffling.

A few moments later, you saw a silhouette come through the steamed room.

"Iwaizumi, what are you doing?" You asked, walking towards him. You both stopped a few centimeters from each other, and Iwaizumi lifted his hand, turning the shower on.

Having a shower." He stated obviously.

"But I-Iwaizumi, this is the women's locker room." You said, trying to keep your eyes on him and nowhere else.

"You're the only woman in here, and you don't seem to mind." He said, whispering. You stared at him, trying to decide what to do. "Your towel is wet. You should probably get a clean one." He said lowly. You nodded in agreement and went to walk around him. "Later, though." He said, pulling you towards him.

You’re lips crashed in an instant; you didn't know whether to kiss back or pull away. No warnings were going off in your head, so you kissed him back. Your hands went to his neck, one of his went to your back, the other your front when he untied the towel from your body, letting it fall to the floor.

You both pulled away, staring at each other with intensity. You moved forward, putting your hands back around his neck, pulling him to your level where you kissed him. One of his went to the back of your head, the other your ass as he squeezed roughly.

Iwaizumi smacked your ass, making you moan, giving his tongue a perfect chance to explore your mouth.

You stayed like this for a while, your wet naked bodies tangled up, hair sticking everywhere, tongues battling for dominance, hands now wondering every inch of each other. You loved every second, and so was he.

Both of Iwaizumi 's hands found their way to your ass as he squeezed tightly; you jumped up, wrapping your legs around his waist, one hand in his hair, the other on his face as you pulled him close into the kiss.

He spun you around so your back was against the wall; his kisses moved to your jaw and neck as he made his way to your breast.

He pulled the nipple with his teeth before sucking on it. He removed his mouth and blew gently; the feeling of the cool air on your erect numb felt terrific against the steam-filled room. He did this to your other nipple, then all over your torso. Sucking on the skin then blowing.

His face was level with yours once again, and you continued to kiss some more.

Izumi's hands still rested on your plump ass; he moved one hand under you. So he could access where you needed him; he played with your clit first, rubbing it gently before taking two fingers and entering them inside you.

You moaned, pulling away from his lips and arching your back as he continued to move in and out of your core; your legs tightened around his waist, and he moved his other hand to the wall beside you while he continued with his other hand.

You were close, the warm feeling starting up in your stomach, but you knew you weren't there yet. Iwaizumi then added another finger, going even harder and deeper, showing no sign of slowing down.

His movements were destroying you, but he wasn't done as he started to rub his calloused thumb against your clit, determination, and lust in his eyes as he stared deeply into yours.

"Iwaizumi ." You moaned, getting closer. His moves were now quickening. "Iwaizumi !" You moaned even louder, his actions getting deeper. "Iwa-oh my god!" You screamed, shuddering beneath him.

He held you tight, still keeping his fingers within you as you rode out your high; your mouth was open as he started to pepper kisses all over your face.

"Woah." You said, catching your breath looking at him.

"We're not done yet (y/n); this is part of your workout." He said, taking his fingers out of you and putting them in his mouth. He tasted you, his eyes still on you; he slowly took his fingers out of his mouth and pulled you into a deep kiss, it was gentler, but you could still feel the need in it.

He removed his hand from the back of your head and put it under you, this time grabbing his rigid member and rubbing the tip against you. He looked at you for reassurance as you nodded your head, and he slowly entered you; you started to sink down on him, so you were meeting him halfway.

Iwaizumi stilled, waiting for you to adjust; when you had, he placed one hand on your back, the other on the wall beside your head and pulled back, slowly moving around in.

He kept at this pace for a while until you started to moan; he then moved faster, moaning as well.

Your moans got louder as his hips snapped faster, going deeper.

Iwaizumi moved you from the wall, carefully placing you onto the floor as he filled you again;. However, the ground was slippery; it didn't seem to bother him as he began pounding into you again.

He found your g-spot and decided to not leave it as he continued at the same pace and depth, being sure to hit it every time.

As he continued this, your moans turned to screams that then became deep breaths as you could no longer make a noise.

Your back arched, and Iwaizumi moved down to put your nipple in his mouth once again. You pulled on his hair as one of his hands moved between you both so he could rub your clit.

He hit deeper and deeper, and you were starting to feel your second orgasm of the night.

With each hit came a new feeling of euphoria. You started to clench around him; your nails found his back making sure to mark it as he continued to pleasure you.

Iwaizumi lifted his head from your breast, and he captured your lips in his silencing you as you came; soon after you came, he came as well, slowing his movements but not completely stopping, not until your breathing was restored.

When you both could breathe adequately, Iwaizumi got up and helped you up too. You both stood under the shower and cleaned yourselves up. Iwaizumi turned to help you because you were sore, then he guided you over to your clothes.

You got changed into some clean joggers and a hoodie, and he changed into what he was wearing earlier.

"That was some workout." You said, trying to break the silence.

"Yeah." Iwaizumi chuckled, staring at you. "We could do that instead if you want to." He suggested walking over to you so he could help tie your shoes.

"It's way better than what you had me doing earlier." You laughed as you filled your bag.

"Tell me about it." He said, getting up from tying your shoe. "Do you still need a lift home?" He asked.

"Yes, please." You smiled. He smiled back, placing an arm over your shoulder as you both walked out of the changing room.

Requests are open ᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ່࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊ࠢ࠘𐡏⊹ ♥︎

[gucciwins]

Are you Angel?

Harry gets hurt while on the job and Y/N gets a phone call she was not prepared for.

Word count: 7413

A/N: hello friends, it's been a while :) this is a continuation to my story Trouble Follows. You don't have to read but it will give you an insight of how Y/N and Harry met. I am thrilled to share more of firefighter harry with you. I adore him and I hope you do as well.

please do let me know what you thought of the story and please reblog! <333

Warnings: angst, breakups, hospitals

A firefighter will always run into a burning building with not a hint of hesitation. All their focus is on saving the people stuck inside.

Running towards trouble is second nature to them.

She knew that.

She also knew what it meant to date a firefighter.

The unreliable hours, the non-frequent communication, the many failed dinner dates. The twenty-four hours shifts when he would then arrive home to just sleep.

Harry had begun to give her a constant comfort that he would eventually come home and climb into bed behind her. He would then gently nuzzle his face in her neck, taking in her sweet honey scent. In contrast, she took in the woody ashy smell that seems to be permanently stained on him.

So trust her when she said she knew what she was in for when Harry asked her to be his girlfriend.

Four months in, she knew she would be here for a long time, maybe forever, if life would allow it.

She was sure; she knew what to expect.

But she didn't, not until she got the call.

The call that would shatter her heart.

The call that would lead her to be sitting in this uncomfortable, ugly brown hospital chair, holding tightly onto his ashy hand. As she prayed on and on to a God, she no longer held close but wished for Harry they were real and would bring Harry back to her.

Y/N prayed for Harry to finally open his eyes and give her a reassuring smile that he would be okay.

That they would be okay.

Until then, she'll wait.

Harry being Lieutenant allowed him to have a consistent schedule. That did not mean there weren't days where he had to pull a double shift or stay back to finish paperwork; he let it pile up.

The one day that was Y/N's was Sunday.

She got him an entire day to lay in bed together and eat all the baked goods she baked for him to try. It was becoming their day. Everyone at the station knew Harry could not be disturbed on Sundays unless it was the end of the world, and even then, they'd have to pry him away from Y/N.

He feels safe in her arms. Harry had never felt that before. Sure, he was surrounded by his firehouse family, but he had never felt so loved in two arms as if she could take all his problems and stresses away. Still, she did exactly that when she would flash him her gorgeous smile and hold her arms open for him to fall into at the end of every day.

Harry knows he's never felt this way, and he won't ever take it for granted.

This Sunday will be different, and she feels it as soon as she wakes up because, in her queen-sized bed, she's alone. No arms wrapped around her waist; no head tucked into her necks as he places soft open kisses to wake her from her sleep gently.

Already, she knows this is going to be a bad day. She feels it in her bones. Having been around trouble for so long, she knows the difference between good and bad. The feelings she has made her want to find Harry and pull him back into bed where she can keep him safe.

Y/N gets out of bed, throwing the warm sheets off her body going to the bathroom to do her morning skin routine, wanting to feel refreshed for when Harry breaks the news; he's going to leave her alone on their day. She knows him well enough; he's cooking her breakfast to make up for leaving her so early in the morning.

She walks out of her bathroom, going straight to her closet and taking out the first sweater she saw. It's a baby blue color and stitched on the left side on top of her heart is: "love me please?" It's Harry's favorite sweater of hers because it's an oversized sweater that fits him well. The only reason she has it back is that he wanted her to wash it and wear it until it got her smell again. Y/N kissed him silly when he told her that, plus she loves that it smells like him now.

Y/N takes one look at her unmade bed and walks away, knowing she's going to crawl back in after Harry leaves her. She walks out and, from the hallway, can hear Harry humming away. If she's honest, she doesn't recognize the song. As she has come to learn, Harry has an interesting taste in music; he has basically heard every song ever to exist. It's a reason they are so good at Four Clovers Thursday Trivia night. She dominates pop culture and films, and Harry takes on music. She's also better at history than him. Their friends love trivia night because their winning always gets them free drinks. It's something she looks forward to each week.

"Morning, H," Y/N says as she approaches him from behind and wraps her arms around his waist. Harry smiles, instantly feeling warm with her arms around him.

"Morning, firebug. Sleep well?"

She mumbles a no, causing Harry to laugh, and she feels it vibrate through her.

"Awe, upset I wasn't wrapped around you." He teases. "I'm making up to you by making breakfast."

She pulls away, spotting blackberries on the counter. "Sure, Jan."

Harry can hear the change in her tone and knows she's still goofing off with him but knows she's upset.

"Angel, come sit. Coffee is ready."

She shakes her head but makes her way over to the chair he pulled out for her. "No coffee. I'll be going back to bed soon." Y/N waits to see if he'll correct her, but he doesn't.

"I'm sorry." He begins.

"No apologies."

"Please let me. I'm leaving you on our day." He pouts.

"As much as I don't want you to go, I'm sure they need you more than I do."

Harry frowns, "I hope you'll never stop needing me." He whispers against her lips before closing the gap. Y/N hums against his soft lips allowing herself to get lost in the moment; she loves his kisses, soft and gentle just as he is despite what his sharp eyes might have one believe.

Harry pulls away after pressing one final kiss on her pouted lips. "I'm sorry I have to go to work, but I know for certain that I can meet you for a late lunch."

"Lunch?" She repeats, arms wrapped around his waist, hoping he was serious with his offer.

He hums. "Yes, 2:30, that bistro with that avocado dressing you like for your sandwich."

"It's a date." She grins, laying her head on his chest letting him hold her tight. He unwraps his arms, letting her go.

"I've got to get going, firebug, but I'll see you later."

"Stay safe, Styles." She tells him as she does every time he leaves.

"Try my best, angel."

With that, he slips his beat-up white Vans with lilac laces and walks out the door; it shuts it behind him. Just as Y/N steps towards it to lock up, it opens back up, startling her. Harry steps back in, and before she can question him, he places both faces on the side of her face and kisses her breathless. Y/N is quick to react, allowing their lips to move in perfect harmony, not as smooth but perfect, nonetheless.

"I--" Harry begins before he clears his throat. "I'll miss you, angel."

Y/N feels the heat rush to her cheeks because, for a moment, she thought he'd say another three words. "And I'll miss you, H. Now get out of here; I don't need you showing up late to our lunch date."

Harry smiles, dimples on full display, hugging her before walking out a skip in his step. She peaks her head out, making sure he gets in the car safely before he drives off. He sits there for a moment, and she knows he is letting his Bluetooth connect as he waits for his drive-to-work playlist titled "it's time" to start playing. He takes a look at his mirrors before backing out and driving. That's when Y/N closes and locks the door.

Time to go back to bed for a few more hours; what else is there to do on a Sunday when she's left alone.

Harry genuinely did not want to go to work today, but it's not like he could say no to his Chief. His Chief was never one to call in favor unless it was an emergency. He didn't ask, knowing he'd get the full story Monday, but for now, he gets on his pants, t-shirt, and boots and hopes there are no fires today.

The only thing is that Harry isn't used to working with the B-shift, sure he knows everyone's name and a little of their lives, but they aren't his usual team. He shakes that off because he knows he would do anything to help a team member and knows they would do the same in return.

Harry is lost in thought, wondering what Y/N was going to do today. He knows she planned to take him to a butterfly pavilion today even told him the outfit she had planned out for it. A pair of jeans that had flowers embroidered all over something she added, saying she thought they looked a bit plain, pairing it with a pastel pink top. Harry was surprised with her style after meeting her various times in different outfits. He was surprised at how soft she dressed in pastels. She may have a bold personality, but her fashion was delicate and warm. It was a nice balance.

He nearly runs into Carols as he made his way to his office, too busy thinking of the girl he left at home. "Sorry, bud."

"No problem, Harry. Surprised to see you here," Carols tells him, everyone knowing Sunday was Harry's day off.

"Chief had something come up and asked me to come in. I should be out of here by eight tonight if we're lucky."

Carlos smiles, "with you around, we usually are."

Harry chuckles, telling him he'll be in his office if he needs anything. He looks around his desk and sighs at how much has piled up already.

Might as well get ahead.

It's a few hours when Harry realizes the house is quiet. He peaks around the window and figures they are all in the common room. It's only one, and thankfully there have been no calls, and if it continues, then he will make it to lunch with his angel.

He shoots her a text.

Angel

13:24 PM

I miss you. Counting down the minutes until I get to see you xxx

Harry clicks send and smiles down at his phone. 2:30 couldn't come fast enough.

As he gets up to stretch and go for a snack in the kitchen, he takes a deep breath because as confident as he may seem, he isn't around the second shift. They don't know him so well, and Harry ultimately is shy. He may be able to hide it, but he has small quicks that others pick up on. Something he knows Y/N spotted quickly, like when he toes his foot into the ground or when he begins to chip at his nails, and Y/N's favorite is when he moves his hands behind his back and sways side to side. She finds it endearing, but others might not think it's leadership material.

He walks into the lounge to cross to the kitchen when a few heads turn to him, but before they can say a word, the alarm rings, and Harry is literally saved by the bell.

Not a second to waste, everyone heads over to the rig and quickly suits up. Harry is Lieutenant meaning he's in charge of the scene today, seeing as their captain and Chief aren't here today. Harry respects all the firefighters and knows this will go well if everyone carries out their job.

It's a factory fire, and as soon as they arrive, Harry can see it's burning fast. He's not sure how many people are there, but he calls in for reinforcements knowing they will need all the manpower they can get.

"This is House 102; please send more units available. The factory fire is burning at a faster rate than we can control. My team is going in now. There are five people unaccounted for; the left side of the building is clear." Harry speaks into his two-way radio.

"Carlos," the young firefighter jogs over, eyes on Harry, no longer staring at the roaring fire. "You're going in with Baz. Stay close and don't go up the second floor; you need to be quick in and out."

"Who's going with you, Lieutenant?" Carlos asks, clearly worried.

"Jameson and Rey are coming with me; stay safe, and if anything happens, just radio in."

"You got it!" Harry pats his shoulder and walks off towards the two waiting men.

Harry knows the men well, he trained them when they came into the house, but they preferred B-shift instead of being with him. One spot was available, and he knew they didn't want to be separated. Rey and Jameson have been dating for two years, but that's a secret only very few know. It's not prohibited, but if it gets more serious, one will have to relocate to a new station. They simply aren't ready for that, and indeed Harry would be sad not to have them around the house or hearing their stories. It just adds a more considerable risk because, at the end of the day, the job is first.

Rey walks towards the entrance with Harry following right behind. Jameson, a few feet back, calling out for anyone in there that needs help.

"Fire department, call out." Echoes out as much as it can as the fire begins to roar louder.

The heat gets worse the further they walk in; they turn right at the edge of a desk labeled "Torres."

"H, there!" Rey shouts, rushing over to a man knocked unconscious and had heavy storage struck over his legs, pinning him down. Harry and Jameson run over, assessing the man before making any sudden moves.

Jameson finds a pulse, weak but there. He gets the extra mask over the man's face hoping it'll wake him up soon.

"On the count of three, we lift," Harry tells the two men standing to a stand as the others do the same.

They nod. "One, two, three." They grunt in unison, pushing the container to a standing position. Harry looks over the man's legs and is thankful there is no blood, but there will be swelling and bruises. "Right, Rey, take him out. We'll keep searching."

Rey nods, lifting the man over his shoulder as he was trained to do, and rushes out of the burning building. Harry and Jameson have just learned a new area when the radio comes on. "Lieutenant Styles, it's Carlos. We found two men; only one remains unaccounted for."

Harry nods. "Got it, no one comes back in. We'll be out soon."

He now leads the way, making his way towards a stairway. There's no fire here, but it's moving faster, and smoke is thick. Whoever is in here might not last much longer without oxygen.

"Fire department, call out," Harry shouts, voice firm.

"Here.." a whisper is heard, both Harry and Jameson freeze. Once more, "here" is yelled but sounds muffled.

Harry looks around, not seeing anything but fire, and fears the structure will collapse soon. Just as he was about to yell again, he sees a can knocked, and a man hidden under a black rag is seen. Jameson rushes over, helping the man sit up. He's older, well into his sixties. He doesn't look too well; he has a few scapes.

"Right, we need to head out," Jameson tells Harry, helping the man stand up who is fighting consciousness.

"This is Lieutenant Styles; on our way out found the last man. Have paramedics on standby."

"Got it, Styles. Get out quick."

Jameson and Harry get the man up and head to exit. Harry can see the light of day and knows he will be late for lunch, but thankful Y/N is understanding and very forgiving. He'll make it up to her by buying dessert.

Just as they almost reach the door, a piece of dry wood comes falling down, separating Harry and Jameson; luckily, it did not hit them, but now Harry has to find a new way out. It's not looking good.

"Harry," Jameson looks panicked, but Harry stays calm.

"Get him out, now," Harry tells him, looking in every direction for what to do.

"No, I won't-" Harry cuts him off.

"Jameson, get this man out. He needs medical attention. That's an order." Voice full of authority with no room to argue.

Jameson nods and heads out. "I'm coming back for you."

Harry chuckles. He sees a small path, but it'd be a more extended way out. He debates what to do. He could wait, but the longer he stays, the quicker this building is beginning to collapse.

It takes him two seconds to decide to go right and find a new route out instead of staying put. He walks and only gets hotter as the fire begins to surround him. He's good at not panicking, always thinks better under pressure, but this is getting intense. Harry climbs over a crate and bends low to go through this tight space. He sees the exit, it's still a bit away, but he knows he is in the clear.

That's when he hears a big explosion knocking him forward. His oxygen masks flys off, landing a few feet away. As Harry reaches his hand out to get it, he's pulled back. He looks behind and sees he's stuck. There are crates stacked on top of him. The air is thick of smoke, and with no oxygen, it seems like the fire will soon enough engulf him.

Shit.

He's really in trouble now.

Harry presses his radio, holding it, hoping it's still working. "This is Harry," He coughs. "I'm trapped under a few crates. I can't reach my ask. I'm west of the building."

"Harry, hold on. We're going in." Harry hears Jameson reply, but he's fading quickly.

He shakes his head. "Can't go to sleep, but this smoke is too thick to actually see anything, let alone for his team to find him.

"Tell…" He coughs again, and this time doesn't stop for what feels like five minutes but is only a few seconds. "Tell angel, I'm sorry."

A voice comes over the speaker, but Harry's eyelids are fluttering shut, the weight of the crates is too much, and the smoke only gets deeper in his lungs if he keeps speaking.

Harry welcomes the darkness as he sees the one person he was supposed to meet for lunch. She's holding an outstretched hand for him to take and who is he to ever say no to her.

Real or not, he goes to her, and soon enough, he falls unconscious, not feeling when his team lifts him out and puts him in the back of an ambulance.

Y/N decided to show up a bit earlier for their lunch date, putting in their order early, wanting to maximize all their time together. She wouldn't see him until late that night, and honestly, she wasn't a fan of being separated on her favorite day of the week.

She sits on a bench right outside, both sandwiches wrapped tucked away in a brown paper bag and a lemonade sitting next to her untouched. It was his favorite, too sweet in her opinion. Still, Harry loved it, especially since he wasn't one to indulge in sweets unless they were hers.

Knowing Harry could be running late, she pulls out a book from her orange tote bag that Harry gifted to her. The book was Beach Read, Frankie recommended it to her then gave her the book saying she needed to read more romance books and not just poetry and nonfiction books. She actually enjoyed it, which surprised her, but even if she didn't, she's too invested to not find out the ending.

She was just starting chapter five when she feels too much time has passed and glances down at her phone.

2:55

25 minutes late isn't bad or unusual even; she decides to put the book away and keep an eye out for him. Usually, when he keeps her waiting, he makes up for it with a long kiss that never fails to take her breath away; she's excited about it now.

Time seems to go slower when she just sits waiting. She debates beginning to eat her sandwich when her stomach starts to growl. It's low, but she would feel bad if she began to eat, and that's when he shows up. She settles for waiting and instead takes a drink of the sweet lemonade.

As Y/N sits waiting for Harry, her phone begins to ring and displays an unknown number but the city's area code. Every bone in her body tells her to prepare for the worst but hopes she's paranoid.

She takes a deep breath before answering and bringing the phone up to her ear.

"Hello, are you angel?" A deep voice man asks.

"It's Y/N. Actually, can I ask who's calling?" She's holding her breath; only one person calls her angel.

"I'm calling on behalf of Lieutenant Harry Styles. Harry has been in an accident and was taken to the hospital. He asked us to call an angel on his way to the hospital. We assumed you were one of his emergency contacts."

Y/N feels her hands begin to shake. "What hospital?"

The man on the phone rattles the information, and she lets it all sink in. He hangs up, and she sits there waiting on the bench for her date that will not be showing up.

Her phone rings again, she answers without looking at the caller.

"Y/N," she recognized the voice; it's Mitch, and if he's calling, then it must be true.

"Mitch," she whispers, not recognizing her own voice. It's shaky, tears beginning to well up.

"Where are you?"

"At the bistro a street down from the station." She replies, hoping he's coming for her.

"I'm close; we'll pick you up and go see him, darling." She nods but remembers he can't see her.

Y/N isn't sure why she's not crying. She feels the tears, but it's like they are stuck; her heart hurts, and she knows that says enough. "We were supposed to meet for lunch. I got worried when he didn't show up, but I didn't think--" he interrupts her.

"Harry is going to be fine, trust me. He's okay, and he needs us there."

Y/N doesn't reply because she sees him pulling in. Mitch is in the passenger seat, Sarah is driving. She doesn't say a word as she swings open the door and settles in the back.

She sets her hands in her lap; she can feel herself trembling. She can feel herself breaking because she won't know if he's okay until she sees him. Mitch can say he's fine, but she needs to see for herself.

Sarah and Mitch share a concerned look; Y/N doesn't notice her eyes looking out the window.

"Y/N?" Mitch begins, voice full of concern. "Do you- are you okay to go see him?"

"Of course." She replies quickly. "He needs me; well, I hope he does."

"Course he needs you. Needs his angel by his side." Sarah tells her calmly, wanting to see her smile, but it doesn't work because only Harry should be calling her that. She shouldn't be on her way to see him in a hospital bed. She should have seen him next to her on that bench as he ate his sandwich and gave her kiss and kiss as she told him stories.

They are silent the rest of the way. Sarah pulls into an empty parking space, and she rushes after Mitch, who seems to know exactly where Harry is as he rushes past the front desk. The only thing that slows them down is waiting for the elevator; she gladly would have taken the stairs if Mitch didn't tell her that he's on the sixth floor. Instead, she waits impatiently for the old elevator that will take her to see her love.

He is going to be okay. He has to be okay. Y/N keeps those thoughts running through her head as Mitch and Sarah guide her to room 613.

Mitch walks in first, holding the door open, Sarah places a comforting hand on her back, and Y/N feels supported and loved, but nothing prepares her for what she is about to walk into.

The constant beep of Harry's heart monitor is the only thing that can be heard in his private room. The beep is steady; it makes her let out a deep breath. The monitor already calming her down, she approaches slowly as if he'd wake if she'd walk any faster.

She sits in the uncomfortable chair next to his bed and pulls it as close as she can.

Y/N just stares at him, taking it all in. He looks like he's resting peacefully like he should originally have been when they started this day together. His curls are disheveled, his face dirty with smoke stains and a few gauzes wrapped around his arms. She can't see much else but knows he's got a road of recovery still ahead of him.

"Hi, Harry," she whispers, her hand slowly reaching under the white sheet to grab hold of his right hand. "I'm right here, okay. Take your time waking up; there's no rush. Just know that I'm not going anywhere."

She pauses, hoping for a reply even though she knows she won't get one. "We can also discuss how I'm sort of one of your emergency contacts."

Y/N presses her lips to his hand. "Need you to wake up, want to see those Rapunzal eyes." She sits back, not removing her hand from his. Sarah has not taken her eyes off of her, Sarah might feel like she might blow up soon, but being at his side, she has begun to feel better.

"Harry, we're here for you. The whole team is outside in the lobby, probably why they sent us to the floor with the biggest waiting area. Even young Carlos is out there, saying you gave them a scare but really hopes you never pick up another B-shift again." Mitch sniffles before stepping out of the room. Sarah walks over to where he was standing.

"Hey Harold, it's trivia night in a few days, and kind of counting on you to get us those free drinks." Sarah chuckles. "It's been a while since we've been in the hospital. I think it was when I made you all donate blood for that ambulance competition. Fun times, now you rest and get better. The good thing is you have the best nurse looking out for you." Sarah glances at Y/N, sending her a small smile.

Y/N sits back in her chair as Sarah sits in one by the window. She knows she's in for a long afternoon and an even longer night.

Harry's head is throbbing.

He's not sure why. The last he remembers is leaving Y/N's house to go for his shift at the station.

They were meeting for lunch; he's sure she wouldn't let him drink any alcohol on the job.

Harry slowly opens his eyes and is blinded by the bright light. He sees a photo of the sunset right in front of him, and a tv hung up; if he's not mistaken, he's in a hospital room, primarily due to being in an uncomfortable bed. The oxygen mask over his face is also a dead giveaway he was in an accident.

He looks around, and he sees he is not alone. His angel is sleeping, a tight grip on his right hand; she looks exhausted. Mitch walks in just as Harry was about to wake her. Y/N mumbles and sits up, pulling her hand away from his to rub the sleep away. Harry wants to tell her to stop knowing how much it actually irritates her eyes, especially when she tubs a little harsher than usual.

"Were you able to find tea, Mitch?" Y/N asks, looking over at him.

"Sarah's bringing it over." Mitch's gaze never turns to her staying on Harry; this confuses Y/N and turns back around in her seat to look at a resting Harry but instead finds his eyes on her.

"Harry!" Y/N scoots forward, grasps his hand in hers. "You're awake. Mitch, the nurse, please."

Harry raises his free hand to take off the mask. He wants to speak, but this won't allow him. "No, love. Got to keep it on."

Harry's eyes close, then flutter open. He stares at Y/N, his eyes kind but defiant. He takes the mask off, coughing a bit; it makes Y/N feel nauseous, knowing he's not doing so well.

"I think you need to keep it on, Harry." She says, "the nurse needs to see it when she comes in soon."

"Hey, angel," he says in a raspy voice. It sounds like he's in pain when he talks.

"Yes?" She asks.

"I'm sorry for scaring you."

Y/N shrugs, "no big deal. I wasn't even scared."

Harry smiles, showering her his dimples since she last saw him this morning. He begins to laugh but stops when it causes him to cough. Y/N lets him settle down before bending down to gently kiss him.

"Now, let that hold you over, and put the mask pack on."

Harry nods. "Anything for you, my angel."

It's a half-hour before the doctor comes in, and by that time, Harry had fallen back asleep, only just waking up a few minutes before the man walked through the door. Mitch alerted everyone outside he was awake and doing good.

Dr. Vazquez walked white coat open, displaying a purple button-up and a bright yellow tie. It puts a smile on Y/N's face.

"Hello, Mr. Styles. Glad you're awake."

"Me too, Doc. Nice tie."

Dr. Vaquez smiles, looking down at himself, "Thank you, my wife picks out my tie every morning before she heads off to work."

"Lucky man," Harry tells him.

"That I am." Dr. Vazquez replies. "You've got a mild concussion, nothing serious, but you are allowed to sleep while you're here. We've got a good team looking out for you. You've got a few burns, but those will heal nicely if properly cared for. A few deep bruises on your leg and one on your rib cage, no blood clots. It will hurt to walk for a few days."

"Nothing too bad, then," Harry sighs, relaxing in bed.

"I've looked at your charts, and it looks like you will be making a full recovery and should be back on the job in three or four weeks. In the meantime, you will need to stay overnight and keep taking in oxygen. I see the nurse changed your mask. Please don't remove this one." Harry nods. "Any questions?"

Harry shakes his head no, "Not at the moment."

"Alright, I'll be off then. I'll come to see you tomorrow midday, and we'll talk about going home. I hear you have a waiting room full of people dying to see; just be aware that visiting hours end at nine, but if you're kind to Nurse Lucy, she'll be lenient to ten."

"Thank you, Dr. Vazquez." Mitch and Y/N say in unison as the man exits the room.

"That's the quietest I've ever seen you, firebug." Harry teases.

"You hush." She lightly pats his arm.

Mitch laughs, "going to go tell them you're allowed, visitors."

Y/N and Harry sit in silence. He can tell she has something on her mind, a slight frown on her face. He wonders if it's about him if she won't be able to handle dating someone who can be hurt by the job. Harry honestly does not want to lose her.

"I'm going to step out," Y/N tells him, looking down at their joined hands, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"Y/N," Harry sighs.

"You've got lots of people waiting to see you and roughly have an hour to see them all. I'll be close by." She leans down, presses a kiss to his cheek, and walks out before he can reach out to stop her.

She steps out while a few members of his team come in to see him offering her a smile as she passes them. As much as she didn't want to leave him, she needed a moment away, and he needed a moment with his family.

God, Y/N has never felt so scared, and now a minute alone, everything is beginning to set in. She has no idea where the restroom is, and the next thing she knows, she's running into someone, but it seems they recognize her because they say her name, and the next thing she knows, she's crying, sinking to the floor. She feels arms wrap around her.

Shushes in her ear, brushing the ends of her hair. It's calming, but she needs to let all the tears she's been holding in.

"Y/N," she can now recognize the voice as Sarah's, "I'm going to help you stand and sit you in the chair.

Y/N feels herself nod.

She begins taking deep breaths, never letting Sarah pull her hand away. It is the only thing keeping her grounded.

"I got her some water." Y/N hears Frankie whisper handing it to Sarah before taking the seat to the left of her.

"I'm okay," she repeats. "I'm okay."

"Y/N," Sarah begins.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, sweetie." Frankie brushes her hair back.

"I'm supposed to be strong; I have to be strong to do this to stand by his side," Y/N tells them, beginning to let her emotions out.

"No one is expecting you not to cry."

"Bu-" Sarah interrupts her.

"No. stop. Accidents happen, and so do injuries. It's okay to be scared and hurt."

"I want to be strong for him." She whispers.

"You are. You never left his side; you talked to him. You're crying now because you care."

She wipes her eyes with her sweater sleeves. "I love him, and I was so scared that when I got the call, I'd never get to tell Harry."

"Then you tell him as soon as you walk back into his room."

"Thank you."

"Nothing to thank, I care about you, and I know Harry would be grateful to know you're not alone. You've always got us. Now let's grab something to eat, and we'll come back in an hour once all of them go home."

She chuckles. "Alright."

"Text me where you're sitting. I'll pop in to see Harry, then meet you."

"You don't have to," Y/N tells Frankie because she knows she is just as concerned about her friend.

"Are you kidding me? You're my friend first, always."

Sarah and Y/N walk down to the cafeteria. She knows she isn't okay but is feeling better, finally letting emotion out. It was only a matter of time before she let the dam break; she's just happy it was not in front of Harry.

The girls sit in the cafeteria munching on snacks for well over an hour. Mitch sends them a message letting them know all the crew has left and it's time to say goodbye for the night. Frankie wishes her goodnight downstairs with promises to come to see her tomorrow and bring her a change of clothes.

"Let's walk you back," Sarah tells her, linking their arms together.

"Do you think he'll know?" Sarah takes a good look at her and grimaces. "I'll just say I tripped, and it made me cry." Y/N jokes.

"I don't think he'll believe that."

"Yeah, me either." The girls walk out of the elevator as their laughter dies down.

They settle in silence as they make their way to his room, Sarah holding her hand leading the way. Mitch is in the chair she was in for so many hours before waiting for him to wake up. Mitch hears their footsteps and turns his head, but Harry is frowning, looking out the window at the dark sky.

Y/N doesn't know what to say, but one look at him has her heart filling up with relief; he's okay.

He's fine, and he gets to go home soon, and she gets to love him all she wants.

Harry turns his head as she steps forward. "Angel," he breathes out.

It makes her eyes well up with tears again. "I love you," she just lets it out, as if she's told Harry this every day as if she never went a moment not saying it.

"Oh my angel," Harry begins to cry, feeling overwhelmed and incredibly happy. His angel loves him, and although this isn't a perfect day, the moment is.

Mitch and Sarah sneak out quietly, shutting the door behind them to give them their privacy.

"I love you so much. Please come here." Harry replies, voice shaky.

In the next second, she's moving forward, pulling the chair as close as she can as he grabs her hands, squeezing them tightly. She leans down and presses her lips to his chapped pink lips. They move gently, pouring all their love and fears into the kiss. Telling each other that the worst is over and they are together, and they are fine. Y/N pulls back, knowing she can't kiss him as long as she'd like due to his sensitive lungs.

"Harry, I love you, and I was so scared I'd never get to say it."

"I'm sorry, angel; I never wanted you to get a call like this, at least not before talking about it."

"Me either," She sniffles, no longer able to control her tears, "but it happened, and I'm just happy you're okay."

"I'm okay," he repeats. She smiles, taking one of her hands out of his hold to wipe his tears away; Harry can't help but lean his head into her gentle touch. "I'm okay because my angel is always looking after me.

"Harry."

"It's true. I've never been luckier and safer since you came into my life." She smiles. "But there's something we have to talk about." He continues, and by the tone of his voice, it's going to be serious.

"Are you okay?"

"What? I'm fine. You're the one in a hospital bed." Her tone is defensive.

"There's something wrong. I can see it."

Y/n sighs, taking a deep breath. She takes her hand out of his hold.

Harry is quick to mask his hurt.

"I don't like that you're hurt. I hate that we aren't at home in the kitchen dancing around to your Sunday playlist as I bake you a new treat." She says in a rush.

"Hey, love, relax," he says and gestures for her to move in closer. She does so, allowing him to take hold of her hands with a firm grip this time.

"You're upset because I got hurt?" She nods in reply to his question. It's stupid because, of course, he's going to get hurt; it'd be naive to think he wouldn't in his job.

"It's part of the job." He says simply. It's something he wants her to accept and remember. She thinks back to a month into dating when he told her about his ex-girlfriend and how she couldn't handle the unknown of the job each day he left her. Y/N thought she'd be fine, but she loves him, and losing him would be something she could never recover from.

"I know. It's just not easy to see." Her voice was quiet and defeated.

"What do we do?" Harry asks, and Y/N freezes; she can feel her heart beating in her ears.

What do we do?

"What do you mean?" She can feel her hands begin to shake.

"This can happen again." He gestures to him in the hospital bed.

"I know." She says softly.

"Is this something you can handle or not?" He asks very direct. She knows this might not be the first time he's had the conversation, but she just told him she loved him, and he's questioning her. She's allowed to feel this way, but it doesn't mean she can't handle it.

"Y/N," he begins, "I'm incredibly happy with you. I see you and me together for a long time. You're it for me, but this job is my life."

"I know," she repeats. "I would never ask you to give up your job."

Harry stares at her; heartbreak passes through his eyes. "Are you asking me to give you up?

She shakes her and begs for the tears not to fall, but it's no use. She feels them falling and can't wipe them as Harry has a hold of her hands.

"Harry, I love you." He frowns as if fearing the worst. "I love you, and I'd rather love you every moment I have you than let you go now and never know what could have been."

"Oh, thank god." Harry lets out a deep breath. She giggles. "I'm sorry we couldn't have this conversation earlier; honestly, I feared if I brought it up, you could possibly break up with me, and I selfishly wanted to have you longer."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere, not if it's up to me. Seeing you laid up is hard but knowing I get to be there for you makes up for it. Also helps that I'm a nurse."

"That it does."

Y/n grins at Harry, leaning in to kiss him, short and sweet for now. Each kiss never fails to make her heart race, and due to Harry's heart monitor, she knows it does the same to him. They sit in silence, staring at each other as Harry traces small shapes against Y/N's cheeks, loving the feeling of her in his hand. Especially when she lets out a soft giggle when he hits a sensitive spot.

"Move in with me," Y/N blurts out after a while of silence.

It shocks Harry. "What?"

"Until you're better. That way, I can be your in-home nurse."

"Only until I'm better?" She nods. "So, you'll give me the boot after." Harry teases.

Y/N can feel her cheeks warming up but pushes through, "Only if you're a bad patient."

Harry smiles, dimples on full display for her, always for her. "Okay, I can be good and naughty only when you ask."

"Harry!" She gasps.

He throws his head back, laughing.

"God, I'm so lucky to love you." His words warm her heart, and she promises to tell him every day from now on.

"Now get up here and cuddle me. I got Mitch to cue up Netflix."

"Are you sure?" She stands slipping her shoes off, knowing he won't be taking no for an answer.

"Going to deprive an injured man of what he wants most?"

"Guess not."

"Good."

Y/N crawls on and lays on his side, carefully resting her head on his chest. Harry presses kiss after kiss for his comfort, knowing he will be okay and has his favorite person by his side. She chooses Legally Blonde knowing it's Harry's comfort movie as much as he tries to deny it.

For an unusual start to their Sunday, it ends right; together in bed, a hospital bed but nonetheless a bed, together arms wrapped tight around each other.

Y/N might not have liked that Harry got hurt, but he's okay, and he will recover.

That's all she could ever ask for.

thank you so much for reading!

please send me a message of what you thought or if you'd like to see more firefighter harry

I adore you. take care xx

[nitrodame]

𝔸𝕤𝕔𝕖𝕟𝕥 (ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟚 )

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐓𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐣𝐢𝐤𝐢, 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐣𝐨𝐛.

A/N: Welcome to chapter 2 of Ascent! I won't be including story descriptions, tags or warnings in the following chapters aside from chapter 1 so if your looking for that info be sure to head back to chapter 1! Thanks!!

AO3

I / Chapter II / III / IIII

The night's celebration was as dreadful as you suspected, nobles doing their best to seem interested in your presence, hundreds of people you've never met congratulating you and talking about things you had little care for. Adding insult to injury was the gaudy, heavy ball gown, that you had been forced to wear, was starting to scratch at your already burning skin. Sweat soaked your thick undergarments and your head was pounding because of the never-ending chatter of the large crowd.

It was becoming insufferable.

The only highlight of the night was the time you were able to spend with Eri, she was eager to show you her new dazzling dress. It was a pretty garment, a simple red dress with sheer bell sleeves, the bottom hems lined with baby pink and pearl lace. Her hair was done up neatly in a bun, flowers woven delicately in with her white locks. She really did look adorable.

You had spent nearly the whole evening with her, listening happily as she excitedly recounted her favorite experiences of the last few months. She spoke of all the new and tasty food she got to try, the new friends she got to play with and the pretty places she got to see. She even showed you the new dance Mirio was teaching her. It was heartwarming to see her so passionate, her good mood making you forget about all the people around you.

But as the party wore on, she became more and more groggy. Sensing this, you had rocked her until she fell asleep, choosing to settle in the adjacent rose garden to keep the noise inside from disturbing her slumber. You wished you could stay like that, just the two of you, serenaded by the gentle song of crickets in the night's chilled air but alas, it wasn't so.

Mirio had found your hiding place quite quickly and convinced you to begrudgingly hand her over for the night.

That was hours ago but it felt so, so much longer.

Right now, you stood uncomfortably amongst a group of stuffy royals, who had insisted on pressing you about your still absent husband. You assured them he would appear eventually. Truthfully however, you didn't even know if he would actually turn up, it wouldn't shock you if he didn't. It was a common thing for him to do, many nights awaiting his arrival only to be met with a apologetic servant informing you plans had changed made you grow accustomed to it.

You were used to being alone.

Yet as you stood there, barely audible voices passing by your ears, you desperately prayed he would show. Though Tamaki never talked much, and his avoidance of social interaction met that he wouldn't engage anyone in even the smallest of conversations, you could at least hide behind his shadow. When he was present, you might as well be invisible. Everyone became so enthralled by their King that you became little more that an afterthought, an accessory of prestige, someone not worth talking to and right now-

That was all you wanted.

You searched fervently for any possible break in the dragging conversation but their comments flowed unhindered, much to your mounting dismay.

"You must be so excited for his highness's return! I'm sure the two of you have something special planned for tonight~" A duchess you didn't know, tittered with clear interest.

"Oh, yes! I've heard King Tamaki is a bit of romantic." Another chimed in before you could answer. "Whatever he has planned, I'm sure it'll be extraordinary!"

"As expected of our Lord!" The Countess to your left agreed readily.

You purposely said nothing as they continued their speculation about the hidden romantic side of their beloved king, hoping they would eventually forget you were standing amongst them. It's not as if you were knowledgeable about the subject at hand anyway, you shared the same level of insight as them. You had no idea if Tamaki was a romantic at heart, that was something you accepted you'd never know.

You'd let them continue their theories, you mused, it kept them from expecting a response from their so called queen.

Finally, after what felt like eons, you were gifted a slight lull in conversation. With the speed of light, you bowed apologetically, citing a trip to the restroom as the factor pulling you urgently away. You all but ran out of the ballroom, giving polite nods and fraudulent smiles as you squeezed past too many people to count.

Your foggy mind was focused on nothing but a grand escape.

The echo of your heels bounced off the vacant walls of the winding, unlit corridor as you searched for a corner that was well and truly isolated. You really didn't want anyone to happen upon you right now, especially because you planned to free yourself from the confines of your hideously uncomfortable outfit.

You'd be damned if you were going to tolerate another moment in this thing.

You were too taken with your scheme to realize how far you had wandered. When you finally decided to glance around, you found yourself standing just outside the massive embellished door of Tamaki's private study.

You beheld it, taking in the intricate brightly painted, beast like carvings that stretched from end to end, marveling at the fierce shimmer of the gold crested symbol that sat in the center of the black oak, just above glistening crystalline handles. It fit a king but not so much Tamaki himself, you thought. Though you didn't know much about the man you called your husband, you knew enough to understand that this was probably an eyesore to him.

Perhaps that was why he never occupied it, leaving the room to gather dust and cobwebs behind rusted hinges, doomed to sit by itself until it rotted away from disuse.

Same as you.

You traced your fingers faintly along the golden arches of your kingdom's symbol. It was silly, you supposed, to find kinship with a empty room rather than the hordes of guests that currently existed in your ballroom but...honestly, you'd much rather spend the entire night locked away in his forgotten study then spend another second at your 'party'.

"I think it's locked." A timid voice murmured from the space beside you.

You squeaked in sheer shock, pulling your hand from the door as if you been burned. Whirling around swiftly, you were met with vaguely familiar iridescent indigo irises.

"Tamaki?" You whispered softly, heart still pounding from the fright he had accidentally given you.

"I'm-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-um, to st-startle you..." The man stammered apologetically, his pale face flushed from slight embarrassment.

"No, it's okay, I just didn't think you were-" you bit your tongue.

Now was not the time.

"When did you arrive?" You instead asked, eyes tracing over his form from head to toe.

It was exceptionally clear to you that he was beyond exhausted, if the deep purple bags under his dulled eyes was any indication. His usually pristine ebony, silver lined tailcoat and crisp long white sleeves were wrinkled and worn, the large, thick fur cape, that he always wore, was crookedly draped across his broad shoulders, it's matted tresses matched his dark tangled hair almost comically.

"...Just now actually... I, um, saw you leave as I was coming in and..." Tamaki explained, his tone horse and low but his features remained gentle and rife with concern despite his tiredness. "...and I-I wanted to make sure you were alright."

Tamaki Amajiki was many things but a callous man was not one of them...you wished he was sometimes. It be much easier for you if he had been overtly cruel. This caring side was arguably worse.

You grimaced internally at the irony of that statement.

"I'm alright, just a little hot is all, don't worry." You reassured him, face mirroring his expression of concern. "Are you okay?"

He nodded, choosing to keep his voice in his throat as you studied his response. It was obvious you didn't believe his halfhearted answer but pressing him about it would hardly do any good for either of you anyway.

"...I can unlock the study...if you want..." He offered, trying to steer the conversation in a different direction. "...I still have the key."

"It's okay, I was just looking at it." You sighed, allowing him to shift the discussion successfully. It didn't escape you, the relieved way his shoulders fell as he realized you were going to drop the matter.

Was it really that dreadful to confide in you?

That gloomy thought stung more than it should have.

You pushed the idea away as quickly as it came, you wanted to focus on the good part of your day and express you gratitude correctly.

"Thank you for helping Mirio, I was able to spend time with Eri. I've wanted to see her so badly..." You smiled earnestly, your eyes lighting up in a way that was hard to miss. "I've missed her so much."

Tamaki stared at you with wide eyes, perhaps taken aback by your extremely rare display of profound contentment. It was almost as if he was trying to commit it to memory with the way he looked at you. You turned your gaze away, feeling increasingly self conscious now that his attention was focused solely on you. It was a scarce occurrence for him to even look at you, let alone stare.

He seemed to pick up on your shyness, sudden panic begin to set in as he realized he hadn't said anything back, his face getting even redder, if that was even possible.

"Oh! I, uh, I- I didn't know he told you...I told him not to -to say anything..." he scrambled to respond, hoping he hadn't offended you by remaining quiet.

"No, I'm glad he did. I couldn't thank you if he hadn't." You persisted, reaching out tentatively, you let your unsure hand rest upon Tamaki's shoulder. When you found he didn't shy away from your touch as he normally did, you continued. "This was the best present I could ever ask for, you've made me so happy tonight and I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate your thoughtfulness."

"...I'm just happy you're smiling, it's so beautiful when you do." Tamaki whispered before he could catch himself, the uncontrollable bewilderment dawning on your face causing him to dart away from your touch.

"I-I should go uh, g-greet everyone!" Tamaki chirped as he rummaged within his cape, refusing to meet your eyes. You searched for something to say as he pulled out a bronze key along with a small black box, taking your hand gingerly and depositing the items in your grasp.

"I'll, um, s-see you a-a little later." He sputtered out, turning on his heel.

"Tamaki!" You called out frantically, your body instinctively moving to follow his retreating frame but was too late.

He was gone.

You stood alone in the darkened hallway, extremely confused by what just happened. The weight in your right hand the only indicator that the interaction had actually occurred.

Did he mean for it to sound so...

Your brows furrowed as your mind tried to deconstruct his statement.

He likes your smile? Was this him telling you he wants you to smile more often? Was it just a slip up? He wasn't good with words...so maybe it came out wrong? Did he mean something else?

Was...

Was it a joke?

No, Tamaki wasn't one for making jokes... right?

You rubbed at your forehead, the headache you had before starting to spread. This was starting to wear on your nerves, why couldn't he just act like he always did?

Why do this to you tonight?

Well it's not like he was going to explain it anyway, even if you asked.

You sighed in resignation as your eyes settled on the things resting in your hand, the metallic moonlit sheen of the bronze key glowed in contrast to the pitch black velvet box. You hesitantly picked the key up, it felt cold in your palm. It was probably for the study, you concluded. Testing your assumption, you pushed it into the waiting lock, the mighty click that reached your ears alerted you that you were right.

Your empty hand wrapped around the custom shaped handle, slowly opening the weighted doors with a load creaking noise. The stale air hit you before you could fully see the room, the smell of ancient books and mildew wrapping around you like a wool blanket.

It was strangely comforting.

You stepped inside, the huge door closing behind you with a slam. It was neat for the most part, books placed nicely on wooden shelves, unused papers sitting in a tidy stack on a dust covered desk, ink pots and quills arranged in a small glass container in the corner. The only candle in the space was completely used up, the last bit of dried wax spotting the aged windowsill. The moon provided the only light, the huge radius window bathing the study in a ghostly, blue hue. You breathed in deeply, allowing yourself to be fully encompassed.

This was the hidden oasis you needed.

But your tiny paradise was not completely perfect, you were reminded of that. The velvet rubbing against your fingertips briefly beckoned you to notice the box's presence. You paused, deciding what you should do with it. After a moment, you set the box down on the desk, part of you didn't really want to see what was inside. It was no doubt something that would twist your stomach in a strange, disoriented knot that stayed for days on end.

You didn't understand why it did that...to be fair there was a lot you didn't understand, about being a queen, about being a wife, about Tamaki.

You didn't really even understand who you were anymore.

By title, you were queen. By birthright, you were nobility. In name only, you were a wife.

Was that all you were, a hollow trinket strung together by little more that a collection of titles under a cumbersome crown?

Was that all you were destined to be?

You bit your lip as those notions whipped at you viciously. You eyes unfocused as you bit back a surge of affliction, that was something you didn't like thinking about.

It was something you REFUSED to think about.

You turned your tired gaze to stare out the large window, your eyes taking the night's full splendor in all her breathtaking glory, the stars bespectacled the deep indigo sky, not a single cloud in sight.

You smiled, the vast beauty of the night fought away the conflicting voices in your pounding head. Whenever you need to be quelled, you'd always turn to the moon for she was gentle and loving in her guidance, her allure like no other. You'd spent many solitary nights only lulled to sleep by her gleaming caress, the twinkling stars that surrounded her singing to you as her glow whispered into your dreams.

She was your one true lover.

If only could touch her. If just for a second.

You lamented the notion as you leaned against the glass panes, the chilly exterior pulling the unwanted heat from your skin.

You fiddled with your stiff sleeves absentmindedly, wondering silently if she would mind if you undressed.

You chuckled as you reached for the back part of your bodice.

It wasn't anything she hadn't seen before.

[sassymoon]

like i would \ s.r fanfic

pairing: spencer reid x reader summary: spencer cheated, and reader wants to get revenge. genre: angst? i think? word count: 1.9k cw: cheating, curse words, talk about sex and mentions of sexual things but no actual smut. (daddy kink, edging, bonding) minors DNI. a\n: yo im on a roll with writing fics (because i dont want to do my uni work but well ignore that). also this is obviously inspired by song like i would by zayn. what is in bold and italic are readers thoughts

masterlist - -

She knows what she's doing is wrong. She knows its childish, stupid and petty. She knows that it will probably do more bad than good. But honestly? She doesn't really care. As she was applying the last touch of her makeup- the dark red lipstick he loves so much, she can't help but grin at her reflection in the mirror. She looks good, damn she will even say she looks hot. Walking to the bar downtown with her head held high and heels even higher, she knows that tonight, she will make him jealous. He will regret breaking her heart, he will regret acting like a complete asshole to her.

The bar would probably be much too crowded for her liking, but you couldn't expect less from a Friday night in DC. she knows he and his team will be here- after all she still follows penelope on instagram and saw her posting a story of all the team sitting and drinking at their usual bar, and him sitting and smiling on the corner, with the little bitch sitting on his lap.

One last look at herself on the black screen of her phone before going in to make sure she still looks good, one last puff to her hair and one last breath. She's ready to get her revenge on Spencer reid.

Her long legs carrying her inside the bar, the bouncer already knows her after being here with him so many times that he doesn't even need to check her ID. a year gone to the drain, she thinks to herself about the first night she met him at this exact bar and letting him into her heart. But she wont allow self pity to take over tonight, no, she did it for the past month and had had enough. Tonight she's going to make him sorry, sorry he ever chose that blonde over her.

The loud music blasts as she makes her way through the crowd, people dancing and grinding against each other without a care. She used to be one of them not so long ago with him, dancing like they are alone and nothing can come between them. Well, nothing besides his ability to keep his tongue in his own mouth. As she talks to the bartender to order her drink, she spots his team sitting in the corner.

‘Now I just need one of them to notice me so I'll have an excuse to come’

she thinks to herself, and like the gods themself heard her, JJ looks her way and waves. She pays for her drink and sways her hips towards the busy table, making sure to have a visible smirk plastered all over her face. “JJ hi! I missed you so much!” The rest of the team moved their heads at the sound of her voice, and though she didn't look in his direction, she could feel him cringe at how close she was to him. All of the team had a fake smile on, trying to hide their obvious tension between you and their teammate. “Me too y\n! I hope you're doing good, we all missed you on our girls night out last week” “Yes y\n, you must come with us next time!” penelope added Y\n took a long sip from her drink and waved her hand in dismissal. “I'm sorry girls, I've always loved hanging out with you, but I don't think we can anymore. I don't think i can trust you while you're still friends with the man who cheated on me” All the eyes that were on you were directed toward Spencer, and awkward silence lingered for a few moments while no one knew what to say, or even wanted to say anything.

‘Step one of the plan complete motherfucker’

After another sip from her sweet drink, and still ignoring Spencer's eyes that drilled holes in her head, she spoke again. “I hope you'll all have a nice time, i'm going to find some better company” Turning around, a huge smirk on her lips, she knew they all looked at her and felt embarrassed about what she said to them. She hoped that Spencer and that girl would feel even worse than the rest. With her glass empty, she left it at a random table and walked over to the dancefloor, just close enough so they all would still be able to see her.

‘It shouldn't be hard to find someone to dance with, i look like a goddess tonight’

With her back towards the table who was still looking at her, she moved her hips from side to side, while grabbing the neck of the man closest to her. His name didn't matter, she didn't really care what he did for a living and if he looked good outside of the dim lights. She only cared that he put his hands on her midsection and pulled her close. After a few songs and some kisses full of tongue, she turned around with his hands still on her, to grind her ass on his growing bulge. She closed her eyes while his hands traveled up, slowly massaging her breasts through her halter top. She opened her eyes and saw exactly what she wanted- straight ahead was Spencer, staring right at her. The little blonde is still sitting on his lap and trying to get his focus back on her. She smiled mischievously at him, looking straight into his eyes while moving her hands on top of the stranger, encouraging him to grab her boobs even harder.

‘Good thing i didn't wear a bra tonight’

She turned around to the young man behind her, excusing herself to the bathroom and saying she'll be right back. As she walked towards the ladies room, she didn't need to look back to know who was following her. Around the corner she was leaning with her back to the wall, waiting for him to show his face. “Hi spencer, long time no see” He stood shocked before her, hands in his pockets, not knowing what to say and how to start this conversation. Why did he even follow her? He had a beautiful girl sitting with him and here he is walking after the woman that told him, in nicer words, to go fuck himself. Sure, he deserved it, but why is he still feeling so drawn to her? Why cant he remain with the other girl, the one that wants him? And most importantly, why is she standing here, looking better than ever, and just laughing at him when he looks at her?

“Cat got your tongue? Or is it the blonde slut that waits for you back at the table that has it?” Spencer ran his hands over his face in frustration. “What are you doing here y\n?” “Just trying to find someone to go home with. Hoping it will be better than the guy i took home from here last time. He was a dick and ended up cheating on me” Spencer's body moved on his own, slowly inching closer to her. As she glanced down, she saw the tent forming in his pants.

‘Step two complete’

“No y\n, I think you came here to make me jealous. You want to make me regret cheating on you, to try and make me feel as bad as I made you feel. I took control from you and you're just trying to take it back.” At the end of his sentence he was so close to her, their faces were almost touching, his hands locking her in a cage near her head. For a moment she felt a bit nostalgic for the first time they were in this situation, but it faded quickly when she remembered who he came to the bar with tonight. “Always the profiler, aren't you daddy?” A small hiss escaped his lips as she said his favorite title. But she wasn't done torturing him yet. She sneaked her hands up his torso as she continued speaking. “I gotta be honest with you, when I walked in on you and that girl last month, I felt betrayed. But now, I only feel sorry for you, you wanna know why daddy?” He started leaving small kisses on her neck, sucking bruises she would have to hide tomorrow. “Tell me princess”

‘This is too easy’

“Because I know you and I know your needs. Being with a girl 10 years younger than you might be exciting in the start, and might be something that most men fantasize about. But what all men fail to realize, that while she might still have the body of a 25 year old girl, she doesn't have the experience that i have” She pushed him closer to her by her hands and wrapped her right leg around his torso to keep him pushed against her. Her lips came close to his ear while she continued. “She doesn't know how to please you, she doesn't know how to touch your body and make you feel like I do.” She trailed small kisses behind his ear and on his neck, feeling his breath stopping while she sucked a bruise on his pulse point, and her hand slowly rubbing the bulge in his pants. “Tell me i'm wrong daddy and i'll stop” But he couldn't speak, she knew he wouldn't be able to. He might like to play dom in the bedroom, but she could control him just as much. “Tell me, does she submit to you like I did? Does she let you edge her for so long that she's begging for you? Does her body feel as good as mine as it wraps around you? Can she take all of you while she's on her knees with tears running down her face? And most of all, does she let you tie her up and leave bruises that will stay for days?” He pulled his head up and looked at her in the eyes. They were dark and his pupils were blown wide, full of lust. All he wanted was to kiss her, to push her into the bathroom stall and fuck her senseless, like he fantasized about in the last month after they broke up. “Youre killing me baby”

‘Oh you haven't seen nothing yet’

She put on the most emphatic smile she could and caressed her palm on his cheek. “I know, and i hope you'll remember how good i can make you feel, because you will never get to have me again” She pushed him off her, walking with her back towards the crowd and her face to the pathetic man infront of her, ready to place her final blow. “I hope that bitch was worth it, because what we had was real and pure. And you fucked up. But that's ok, because I will be able to find another dick to please me, but you will never find someone as good as me. Goodbye forever spencer.”

She walked away from him, not even wanting to hear the poor excuses he would try to say to her. She smiled and waved to the young girl that was staring at her from the table, both of them knowing that Spencer followed her to the back of the bar and why. She slowly pointed at her neck, showing her the purple bruise on her neck that formed from him, seeing how her face fell as she saw it.

‘Maybe now you will feel like i did when i watched you shove your tongue down my boyfriends throat bitch’ And with that, her plan was over. She walked out of the bar, ready to put that chapter of her life behind her. Needless to say, she never came back to that bar again.

tell me what you think here!

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves]

mmm can’t help thinking about soft starquake- skyke’s managed to catch a good few ‘z’s and though yes getting up is a real issue, he gets to say morning to screamer before yada yada

inspired because i am schleepy and only mildly exhausted, the desire to slumber compelling me-

You lost me towards the end- but imma get you sleepy Skyquake anyway, let's go.

"It's past your bedtime."

"You sound like my brother."

"Say that again, I'm neutering you."

Starscream had been rather strict about getting Skyquake to bed. Skyquake had been doing well, minus tonight. Tonight, he tossed and turned plenty, eventually just choosing to stay awake and surf the human internet. Starscream never had issues sleeping himself, but he had some kind of radar for Skyquake's sleep. So when Skyquake was up, so was he. Skyquake waved him off, scrolling for more videos.

"Look, I'm fine. I'm just not tired."

"You are SUCH a filthy liar."

Skyquake groaned when Starscream got out of berth. He was expecting a proper scolding, only, Starscream walked out of the room entirely. Skyquake thought he had upset him, and thought of following him, but he didn't wish to bring this sort of scrap into the hallways. At least, not at this time of night. So, he sat there, and decided to leave Starscream be, deal with it in the morning. Starscream had other plans.

A few cycles later, Starscream was back, a tray in his hands. A kettle of hot energon tea, two tea cups, and some energon cookies.

"You...made that?"

"No I stole it, I'm not wasting energy making you slag."

Skyquake raised a brow at him, and Starscream sighed, putting the tray on Skyquake's dresser.

"Okay, the tea I made, cookies I stole. I don't bake, so don't flatter yourself."

Skyquake chuckled, putting his data pad away. Did he want to? No. But he also didn't want Starscream to throw a fit and throw it. Wouldn't be the first time. Starscream served him a cup, before helping himself to a cup, standing there while he relished in the hot feeling coursing through his system. Skyquake took a sip, enjoying the heat as well. There was a moment of silence between them, before Skyquake broke it, looking at the liquid in his cup.

"You know, I've struggled with sleep since I was young. I even went to see a medic for it. My brother thought something was wrong with me. Turns out I just. Can't sleep sometimes."

"I blame your internet history. I'd be up if I watched all that nonsense too."

"Says the one who watches monkey videos all day."

"Excuse me, did you NOT see the one where he smells his finger, then falls out of the tree? Hilarious."

"Hilarious because you relate to it?"

Starscream grabbed a cookie, and threw it at him. Skyquake laughed, stuffing it in his mouth right after.

"So how'd your brother deal with you? Surely he didn't let you run around till the wee hours of the morning?"

"Well, it wouldn't always work, but he'd-"

"Sing. A song that was passed down in Caminus history. You weren't the only restless child, you know."

They both turned at Dreadwing, who was sussenly in their room, blankets in his hands.

"Brother? Shouldn't you be asl-"

"I have night patrols. Heard you two talking as I was filing a report in my room. Figured I'd help."

Dreadwing threw the many blankets on Skyquake, nearly suffocating the poor thing. Starscream tried not to sigh. No matter WHAT they were up to, Dreadwing was always smothering his brother. He was about to complain, when he reached into the pile, grabbing a stuffed rabbit from it, and looked it over.

"And this is?"

"Brother don't tell me you actually brought it-"

"I brought HIM, yes. This is Samuel the sparkbunny! Oh he was your favorite as a sparkling!"

Dreadwing stuffed the toy in his arms, not letting his brother resist. Skyquake sighed as Dreadwing sat on the berth, somehow looking at Starscream past the pillow and blanket avalanche.

"Dreadwing was at work a lot. So he gave me that as a friend, keep me company. I THOUGHT he had gotten rid of it by now."

"Never! Now quit squirming, it's bed time."

"You're really going to sing me to sleep. Right now. In front of my boyfr-"

"He wants to date you, he has to deal with me. Now HUSH."

Starscream was trying not to laugh, they all could tell. Starscream stood there, watching as Dreadwing patted his stomach through the sheets, like some doting mother. Starscream was expecting something silly, given how silly this whole situation was. Then Dreadwing started to sing.

"Hush falls the evening, and tickles the bell. One freckle, three freckle, four. Hush falls the evening, and tickles the bell. Love, close your eyes, there are stories to tell. Troubles and marks and sakes to keep, blow out the candle and go to sleep."

Dreadwing talking was annoying. But even Starscream had to admit, he was quite the singer. His voice hung low, his soft patting was rhythmic. Combine that with the scent of tea in the air, and even Starscream felt soothed.

"Once was a man, on a dark and cruel road. One freckle, three freckle, four. Once was a man, on a dark and cruel road, where strangers and brothers, and caravans towed. Troubles and marks and sakes to keep, blow out the candle and go to sleep."

It was nice. It was relaxing, still. Hell, Starscream was sure he could-

"Starscream."

Starscream snapped awake, shaking his head. He dozed off, not even realizing it. As did Skyquake, apparently. Starscream groaned, rubbing his forehead.

"Good job, you got him to sleep. He's stubborn. You can l-"

"I want you to understand something. I love Skyquake. No one is good enough, much less you. I don't want you thinking you can take away MY duties-"

"Frags sake, get off your high horse. You're not 'being replaced' or what have you. You're his brother, I just suck him off."

"I. Didn't want to know that."

"Don't care, let me finish. We do this cat and mouse game BECAUSE we're involved with Skyquake. I'm not replacing you, and everytime you think I'm trying to- I'm messing with you. Because PRIMUS I hate you. But, unfortunately, I love him. Now quit whining, and go, you did your duty. Let me do mine."

Dreadwing sat there for a moment, looking stupid with the lost look on his face. Starscream sighed as he plopped onto his berth, cuddling up to the giant pile. He watched as Dreadwing hesitated, before he leaned in to kiss his brother's forehead, and promptly left. Suffice to say, EVERYONE had a restful night.

[maplecornia]

Namjoon

𝔞/𝔫: this will be in Namjoon's POV

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱: 2.85K

𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: romance | slice of life | fluff | angst | bts x female!reader | ot7

𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶: You watched them from the sidelines ever since you were a young teenage girl. Now you’re grown up, they’ve returned after 2 long years and everything has changed. What happens when you pull back the mask and find the darkness within? What happens when you see that they’re broken?

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: cliffhangers | angst | fluff | slight mentions of self hatred | depression | mental health illness | self harm | occurs in the year 2024 | set in a timeline where BTS went to the military together | slight language

tags: @kookaine | @fangirl125reader | @kookiebbyxx | @taradevonne | @rae-bear | @mangminnie | @pixiekooo | @cana

My hands flying across the keyboard, I have no room to think about anyone or anything else other than my work. I have no intention to think about anything else.

I've heard it said that there are those with a wasteland in their minds. They are constantly searching for something to give their life meaning, but everything they find isn't good enough. They are constantly trying to break the last record, find a new tune, discover another song to play in their hearts. They can never rest, they never want to rest for if they did they would lose their minds.

Pulling away from the board, I find that I'm shaking. My eyesight is wavering, I can't even think straight.

Am I the same as those lost?

Sighing, I hold my head in my hands.

What am I doing? I have no time to be worrying over things that don't matter. My gaze drifting, I notice a coffee cup on the table beside me, along with a small bag of snacks resting against it. Mildly amused, I stand to investigate, and find a note tied around the bag. Pulling on it, I blink in surprise at the neat but shaky Hangul written there.

Namjoon, I'm not too good at writing in Korean just yet so I hope that this is understandable.

This is a coffee cup, but if you need some water or an energy drink, I placed some beside your bag. This is a little bag of leftover snacks I found at the vending machine.

I'm sorry I couldn't find something better than this, but I hope it's enough for a small pick me up.

Please remember to get some rest tonight, I don't want you working too hard.

-Yen

I don't realize I'm crying until a tear runs from my cheek and lands on the small slip of paper. Surprised, I frantically dry the tear from the paper before holding it close to my chest as though it were my only comfort. The tears continue to run down my face, and I fall to the floor almost sobbing as unexplainable emotions surge through my body. Too fast and too many at once for me to be able to understand.

"Why...why are you so kind?"

Does she even realize the effect she has on my heart? The way she tears and turns it as though it were nothing? She doesn't even have to think twice about her actions. She doesn't do these things to gain something from me, in fact, she expects nothing, and yet...

She makes me want to give her the world.

.

.

.

"What are you talking about?"

Jaejin smiles at the question, almost as though he were dealing with a child who didn't want to let go of their parents on his first day of school. Scoffing almost, I fold my arms in indignation. Since when was I the child in this relationship?

"It's quite simple hyung, I'm going to be away for a couple of months. It's not that big of a deal."

"Not a big deal?!" Reaching forward, I stop him from packing. He looks up at me, a bit surprised. "Jaejin, need I remind you of your position? You can't just leave whenever you see fit. There are policies, systems set in place, responsibilities you have to uphold."

Jaejin rolls his eyes before politely removing my hand from his stuff.

"Namjoon, you didn't think I knew? I've already taken care of everything."

As he pulls away, rummaging in his desk for a pen and sticky note, I stare at him dumbfounded. He's leaving, isn't he? Just when I've come back, now one of my closest and most trusted friends is leaving me behind. Scolding myself, I try to push the feeling of being betrayed to the back of my mind.

Jaejin has a right to pursue his dreams, I shouldn't hold him back. This isn't something to be upset over, I should be happy for him, I should support his decision.

But I don't want to say goodbye.

He must've noticed my expression, for when he next speaks, I can tell his words were meant to comfort me.

"You know, you're going to love Yen."

"Yen?"

"That's the person coming in to replace me."

I stare at him, not wanting to believe his words. He's having someone come in to replace him as my manager? How can he expect someone I don't even know to replace him at my side? Just how long is he planning to stay away?

Almost sensing my discomfort, Jaejin turns to me and places his hand on my shoulder. "There's no reason to worry. Yen will do an amazing job, okay?"

"How can you be so sure?"

At my question, he gets this faraway look in his eye and beckons for me to join him as he settles down in one of the chairs set up at his desk.

"Yen is someone special, you'll probably notice that as you get to know her." I open my mouth to ask him how, but he holds his hand up, already foreseeing my immediate response. I roll my eyes at the gesture, understanding his point and shutting up.

"I'm not just saying this as her friend, she's someone who I think will help you a lot. Though she might not think she's qualified for the job, and she may doubt herself every second of the way, she will try her hardest to be the best she can be." Watching him talk about her, almost as though she were the thing he treasured the most on earth, both confuses and intrigues me. What is she, perfect? No person is, so what's the difference with her?

"Yen is the kind of person who speaks to others through their emotions. She knows when you're sad, angry, tired, she can see it all through a few gestures. With a simple look your way it's as though she can see all the hidden secrets of your soul." In his wistful eyes, I wonder about the history between the two of them. Missed chances, unspoken words, regrets, do they have any of those? The way he talks about her, I don't think they are merely just friends.

"My point is, she'll take care of you. You don't ever have to be afraid of losing yourself when she's around, because she'll always bring you back."

.

.

.

Holding the note in my hands now, the way it feels almost as though she were there right beside me, holding me as I shake from all the built-up pain and frustration, I realize that Jae is right.

She's always there, helping me, supporting me. She gave me a reason to continue, she showed me that I didn't have to take care of everyone all the time. She reassured me that I wasn't alone, that she would stay beside me no matter what happened.

.

.

.

"Your music changes with you, don't you know?"

As she sits across from me, her wide eyes piercing mine with their deep stare, I try to make some sense of her words. Yes, I understand that music changes, but what does that have to do with me and my struggles? I'm afraid I don't love making music anymore, and this is what she responds with?

She smiles almost understandingly at my perplexed expression, and I quickly hide it, unaware I was being so obvious.

"Namjoon, maybe the reason why you feel so trapped is not that you don't love music anymore, but rather because you're trying to recreate something from the past." My eyes widening at the thought, I pull away from the soundboard. Was that what I was doing? Trying to recreate a past sound when the sound inside has already changed?

"Music grows as you grow, it flourishes the same way. Maybe in order to find yourself again, you have to let go of what your music used to be." Turning to her, somehow I know she sees the pain and the fear reflected in my eyes.

What if who I am now isn't good enough? What if this person isn't worthy of his title? What if I've become what I've always been afraid of?

Nothing.

Reaching forward, she takes my hand into her small ones and smiles warmly my way. A smile meant to calm me down, a gesture meant to calm the storm that threatens to rise in my chest.

"That doesn't mean you have to forget, it doesn't mean you have to say goodbye. It just means you have to move on, and grow as you've done before. If there's one thing I know, it's that you are good enough. You are worthy of their love, you are worthy of everything you have ever accomplished."

She smiles somewhat cockily as her eyes locked with mine, almost making me forget my doubt.

"Now, you just have to prove it to them once more."

.

.

.

She taught me what I was doing this for, reminded me why I love music, why I chose this path. It was her light, her passion that showed me the way.

Raising myself off of the ground, and pocketing the note, I turn back to the computer. Back to my work. Wiping my tears, I sit down taking a deep breath before resuming.

I won't let her down.

note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY NAMJOON! I hope you have a great birthday, and continue to be the amazing leader you have been for the longest time! I'm looking forward to the day where we can see you again.

check the Infinite Stars masterlist for more chapters

check my BTS masterlist for other BTS content

check out my masterlist for other kpop fanfics

[outlawsworld]

Trusting Strangers - Chapter 10

Arthur Morgan x Female reader

Summary: Reader and Arthur's relationship is growing. You go on a job together and end up with a night under the stars.

Warnings: violence, mentions of rape and a whole lat of fluff.

Notes: This chapter was so much fun to write! I hope you are still enjoying it and don't forget to let me know what you think and like and reblog ❤️ I've got so many ideas of what's going to happen so please bare with me! 🤠

Chapter 1

--

You walked into your tent feeling the rush of excitement wanting to burst out of you. Every inch of your body was ecstatic and you jumped around your tent quietly letting a small burst of your happiness out before you exploded. Your cheeks started to ache from smiling so much and you could feel the hot redness filling them. The last thing you expected from tonight was to end it in Arthur's arms again, with his soft lips against yours. Only this time he didn't pull away from you, he didn't leave you standing in the woods alone. You undressed into your nightwear and laid on your cot staring at the tent ceiling. Your eyes were dry from such a long day but you couldn't sleep with the thoughts of the night flooding your head. It must have been the early hours of the morning before sleep finally took over your body. When you woke up your body were sore. You hadn't had much sleep over the last couple of days because of everything being on your mind and it was starting to take it's toll. As you sat up from your cot your eyes suddenly widened as you realised that what had happened last night wasn't a dream. Quickly you pulled on your trousers and blue shirt. You fell over whilst trying to pull your boots on, rushing, eager to see Arthur. As you stepped out of your tent you saw the rest of camp was already in full flow. Everyone was already going about their daily chores, the sun was high in the sky and the morning birds had already sang their songs. You must have slept in, which was a first for you. As you scanned the camp you found that Arthur had already gotten up and left, Dutch and Bill too. Then your eyes landed on a very angry looking Mrs Grimshaw. Your eyes met which meant there was no escaping her wrath now. She marched over to you as you still stood in front of your tent, looking very much bewildered by the fact you had slept in.

''Miss (Y/N)'' Mrs Grimshaw was now directly in front of you. ''Are you feeling well rested?'' she looked at your face sternly waiting for an answer.

''I guess, Mrs Grimshaw'' you looked at your feet trying to ignore her gaze.

''Good, now get to your chores. Seen as this is not a usual thing for you I will let you off'' she smiled at you. ''Don't let it happen' again'' she pointed her finger at you before marching over to Pearson. You smirked under your breath. You knew she was the one that let you sleep for so long, she must have known how little rest you were actually getting. However, she needed to act tough in camp and if anyone knew you had gotten away with it then there would be hell on. Charles and Kieran had already done all your chores with the horses so you spent the day washing clothes in the river. You didn't mind it so much when you were now able to sit on the sand and look out across the water. No one disturbed you except Sadie who came to wash the pots beside you for a bit. She was curing Pearson again for treating her like a maid.

''I'd love to shove that stew pot up where the sun don't shine'' she giggled. ''Damn bastard''.

''I won't be eatin' my food from that again'' you both laughed as you carried on with your chores.

''So....'' she paused looking at you with a intrigued smile on her face. You glanced at her furrowing your brow in anticipation to what she was about to say. ''Where did you and Arthur sneak off to last night?''. You felt as if your heart momentarily stop beating and a flush of heat rose to your cheeks.

''Sadie Adler'' you shook your head at her. ''I didn't take you for a gossipin' kinda gal''.

''Oh I ain't but I saw the way you looked at each other whilst dancing'' her voice was soft now and joking aside. ''then you run off into the woods'' she cocked her eyebrow at you before a devilish smile appeared. ''Can't fool me. I know something goin' on. You two have been ignorin' each other for days and then suddenly you are back smilin' again. I ain't a gossip, I'm just nosey''. You couldn't help but laugh at her comments. Sadie was probably the only girl you trusted with something like this, she was the most like you. She wasn't a fan of gossip and you knew she wouldn't tell the others. Your rose cheeks had already given away your secret. ''I won't tell anyone, I promise'' she pleaded whilst motioning a cross on her heart. You scan around to make sure no one was lurking or close enough to hear your convocation. 

''Alright, alright but you don't tell a sole'' you sighed, defeated. ''I ain't good at this and to be honest I didn't want anyone knowin' until we had figured it out'' you took one more quick look around before closing the distance between you and Sadie. ''So, I kinda care for him....a lot. We've been spendin' so much time together that I didn't even realise I had feelin's for him. Nothing too excitin' happened in the woods last night. We just talked and.....Well... we kissed but that's it'' you spoke in a whisper. Sadie's jaw dropped slightly before she smiled.

''I knew it'' she cheered quietly. ''So why the hell were you both igorin' each other for so long?''. You explained the situation to her and spoke about all the confusing feeling you had. Sadie listened to every word intently, you didn't realise how relieving it was to actually speak to someone about everything. It was as though a big weight had been lifted off of you and you could understand your feelings a lot more. You had learnt to keep your feeling to yourself but being able to talk to someone made you feel so much lighter.

''Well I'm glad, for both of your sakes, that you worked it out'' she smiled sweetly at you. ''Can't believe out of all the men in the world to be sweet on, Arthur Morgan, was the one for ya'' she teased you. You both giggle as you finished the last of the clothes that needed washing before gathering them up and heading back into camp. Sadie stayed at the river side, trying to prolong facing Pearson again. As you were hanging up the wet clothes to dry you heard Uncle call you which drew your attention to him. He was stood by one of the big trees in camp with Arthur, who must have returned from his job this morning. Uncle also called Bill and Charles over to him which made you wonder if you were going to be asked to go on a job. You slowly made your way over to the four men smiling sweetly as you and Arthur briefly made eye contact.

''What are you talkin' about?'' Bill asked, clearly irritated by the old man.

''Arthur, is above a little stick up I heard about'' Uncle teased which Arthur immediately took offence to and was quick to defend himself.

''No I'm not'' he growled.

''But you just said.....''

''Hey I'll do it'' he cut Uncle off before giving a devilish grin. ''As long as you ride with us'' he pointed at Uncle who's face went pale. You, Charles and Bill all glanced at each other amused by the shock on Uncles face.

''I got a serious medical condition'' he fumbles for an excuse. Arthur started to laugh in the old mans face.

''Yes, you are a compulsive liar'' Arthur chuckled whilst taking a drag from his cigarette.

''No need to be like that'' Uncle turned his attention to you and Charles. ''Charles, (Y/N), have I ever lied to you?''.

''I hardly know you'' Charles responded confused by the question.

''Don't look at me, I've been here for less time then Charles'' you smirked. Arthur wouldn't back down, if Uncle didn't ride with you all, then the job wasn't happening. It didn't take long before Uncle gave in and agreed to help before mounting up. He explained that it was a supply wagon carrying payroll which supposedly won't be guarded.

''As long as we get paid or you get shot, I'm happy'' Arthur bellowed before putting out his cigarette and mounting up. You couldn't help but giggle under your breath at the way he antagonised the old man. Charles, Bill and yourself also mounted your horses and followed Uncle out of camp. You rode beside Arthur and noticed the Deputy badge pinned to his shirt.

''Law man now, huh?'' you teased pointing out the golden badge.

''Seems like it'' he smirked back at you. ''Somethin' to do with Dutch's plan apparently''.

''I hope you don't get too attached to it or you'll be takin' us all in yourself''.

''I guess we will have to see'' he teased you back. Your heart lit up when he looked at you, he always managed to spark something warm inside your chest whenever your eyes met. When you reached the location that the wagon would be passing through your mind was elsewhere, so much so that you almost ran into Charles' horse. Your cheeks blushed with embarrassment as Arthur watched you fumble back into reality with a smirk on his face. The five of you waited patiently for the wagon to appear over the hill. Uncle was right, it wasn't guarded, just the driver and one other man. You rode over as it turned off at the crossroad. Bill heckled them to pull over and Uncle stopped his horse in front of them so they had to stop. Bill had his gun on one man and you had yours pointed at the other while Charles and Arthur looked in the back and grabbed what they could. You looked over your shoulder and saw another wagon quickly coming down the track.

''Shit, we've got company'' you yelled. The wagon coming down the track was being followed by men on horses with guns who had spotted you trying to rob the other wagon. Before you knew it they were coming after you. ''Charles, Arthur, hurry up. We need to get outta here''. They quickly jumped from the wagon and mounted there horses before the five of you galloped away from the on coming attack. Bullets were flying past you, barely missing you and the men were gaining speed. You spurred Dallas into a faster gallop as you grabbed your rifle from over your shoulder. Arthur and Bill were already shooting back at the men who were on your tail. You turned in your saddle, hoping Dallas would follow Uncle and Charles, as you began to fire back at the men. A bullet flew right past your shoulder and you aimed your rifle at the man who fired it, taking him down with one headshot. The three of you managed to pick off a couple of them but there were too many.

''Quick, get of the trail. Into the woods'' Uncle called out to you all. You turned back in your saddle and followed him with Arthur close behind you. The five of you galloped through the trees, getting hit from small branches that you were unable to duck under. A small house with a barn was just on the other side of the trees which would be a good place to hide and lay low. You followed the boys by dismounting Dallas and giving him a small slap to flee the area before going into the barn to take cover and rest. For now it looked like you had lost them but you knew the best thing was to wait until it was dark before leaving for camp. You went to the back of the barn, hidden behind a stall wall, and sat down with your back leaning against the wooden panel. This would be the last place to look if someone came in as it had great cover, just in case you fell asleep. The others stayed at the front of the barn, out of view from you but you could hear their mumblings. Charles was on watch and you soon heard the light snoring coming from Uncle and Bill.

''You alright?'' you looked up to see Arthur's tall figure stood looking down over you.

''Yeah, how about yourself?'' you asked in a hushed voice. He came and sat right next to you, not leaving much space between the both of you.

''I'm alright'' he smiled sweetly at you. ''Shouldn't be too long till it gets dark and we can get outta here. He's a fool that old man''.

''Better then delivering letters'' you smirked trying to lighten the mood. Arthur nodded in agreement. You wanted to carry on the convocation but you knew it was better to keep quiet in case there were any men looking for you outside. Instead you shuffled closer to him and rested your head on his broad shoulder. He slightly tensed at first but then rested his cheek on your head as he relaxed. It was a good job the others couldn't see you now or they would definitely know something was going on between the two of you. The comfort of having him right beside you meant you slowly kept on falling in and out of sleep. You felt his warmth as you leant against him, each deep breath he took and the hitch in his breath whenever you moved because he didn't want to disturb you. When you woke up fully, you realised Arthur had also fallen asleep next to you with his head still resting on yours but it had gotten dark outside so you knew you had to wake him. Gently you placed your hand on his chest and shook him. He was an extremely light sleeper and that was enough to alert him, he sat upright before turning to you. His eyes looked deep into yours as he moved his hand to gently caress your cheek before placing a light kiss on your lips. The small gesture ignited the warm feeling in your chest and you couldn't help the shy smile you gave him as he stood up to wake the others. You took a deep breath to remind yourself of the situation at hand, rather then keeping your mind on Arthur, and stood up to return to the others. There was a light coming from the house as a couple of men approached the front door. It was a couple of the men from earlier asking the owners of the property if they had noticed anyone running through here.

''Damn. L-L-L-L-Let's just....Keep this calm'' Arthur instructed. ''See what happens''. You all took cover in the barn hiding behind pillars and stall walls. You found yourself in the same place you had been in all night, crouched down, occasionally looking around the stall wall to see what was happening. The owner pointed out that he heard noises at the barn where you were currently taking cover. Two men approached the barn quietly and began to look round. The five of you remained still as the men searched the barn.

''The place looks empty to me'' one of the men shouted to the other. He was about to walk away when Bill kicked an empty can by his foot which caused the man to turn back realising we were all hidden there. God damn it Bill. Is he not capable of staying hidden.

''Shit'' Bill cursed as he shot the man at the front of the barn. The men from the house were alerted by this and started firing on all of you. You got up from your cover and ran to the front of the barn to shoot at the men coming from the house. It was dark and misty which made it hard for you to see where the men firing at you were coming from. You could only see outlines of people as they moved and they now had you surrounded. Charles and yourself were still based at the front of the barn, gunning down anyone coming from the house while Arthur, Bill and Uncle took on the others coming from the side. The men were coming out of nowhere and there was no way of telling how many were firing at you. There was a bright glow coming from the corner of the barn, you turned to see that one of the men had thrown there lanterns which had smashed setting fire to the dry wood.

''Shit.....Fire'' Charles shouted to all of you. The fire grew rapidly, like an untameable stallion rising up. Before you knew it the fire had spread to the roof of the barn and the smoke was burning at the back of your throat everytime you took a breath.

''If we don't get outta here soon....we're gonna be charcoal'' Arthur was now by your side, blocking the small bits of debris that was falling from the roof from hitting you. You took a step back, looking up to the roof that was about to concave and engulf you all in flames.

''This way'' you herd Bill call out to you from the back of the barn. He had found a small opening that you could climb through to get out. The heat from the burning wood was kissing your skin and you could barely see through the smoke. You followed Bill and Uncle out of the small gap with Charles and Arthur right behind you. Taking a deep breath of fresh air as you ran back towards the trees for cover. You decided to split up into two groups. Arthur was with Uncle and Charles with Bill.

''(Y/N), with us'' Charles beckoned you to follow him. You and Arthur quickly glanced at each other not wanting to leave one another but you had no time to think or argue. Following Charles and Bill, you quickly ran through the woods and tried to find some cover. "If you do anything stupid Mr Williamson, you're on your own" Charles threatened as Bill scoffed back at him. There were some big boulders that the three of you managed to hide behind. You managed to catch your breath while crouching down for cover, listening to any oncoming people. A small group of men soon appeared in the tree line with their rifles at the ready. The three of you remained quiet as you aimed your guns at the men walking in your direction. You waited for Charles to give you the signal to shoot but you heard shots being fired from deeper in the woods. They were coming from where Arthur and Uncle had gone. The group of men turned their attention to the sounds.

''Come on boys. That way'' one of them spoke up. Just as they were about to run off to the noises. Charles stood up shouting at you to fire. All three of you were now shooting at the group of men. They immediately took cover but between the three of you, you managed to take some of them out. Your shots were now useless as the bullets were bouncing off the trees. The best way of getting to them was to flank them. You shot Charles a quick look which he nodded at, knowing exactly what needed to be done. Charles and Bill both stood trying to draw the men's fire as you took the opportunity to sneak round and attack them from behind. You kept crouched down as you quietly made your way around them, keeping yourself in the shadows. There were four men left and you had a good shot on all of them from your new position. You took cover behind a tree and noticed Arthur and Uncle had now joined Charles and Bill behind the rock. Arthur managed to kill one of the four men as the man glanced out from behind his cover. Leaving only three to deal with. You aimed your rifle at the first man, taking him out smoothly. The other two men turned to you as you had now given away your position. Shots were now being aimed at you, you crouched behind the tree for cover knowing that this would give the boys the opportunity to approach them and take out the last two men. Arthur and Bill did just that and the two men fell down dead.

''We all still alive?'' Arthur asked. You stood up from behind the tree and regrouped with the four men.

''Just about'' Bill answered gruffly.

''Yeah, I'll deal with you later'' Arthur turned his attention to Uncle. His brow was furrowed and his face had gone red with anger.

''We got some money, didn't we?'' Uncle defended himself.

''Leave it, go on, get out of here'' Arthur shooed them all away. ''Everyone split up, come on, get going''.

''Good luck gents, (Y/N)'' Charles nodded to you and you watched as they all left in different directions. You were about to run off in another direction when Arthur gabbed your arm.

''Not you'' he smirked. ''You're comin' with me Darlin'.'' the rumble in his tone made you shiver. You followed him through the woods as he whistled for his horse. Dallas was nowhere to be seen but you suspected he would have gone back to camp. Siego came cantering over, through the trees to you both . Arthur mounted then held out his hand to help you to sit up, behind the saddle. Once you were both on you wrapped your arms round Arthur's waste to keep balanced and he kicked Siego into a steady canter. You had plenty of practise riding bareback so keeping stable on the back of the horse wasn't too hard a task for you. The smell of cigarettes and whiskey reminted from Arthur's shirt as you clung onto him. ''You alright back there'' he shouted to you as he placed on hand to rest gently on your lower thigh.

''Yeah, just fine'' you smiled at his touch. ''Where are we goin'?''.

''I wanna show you somethin'.'' you rode together quietly until Arthur turned off the track and up a steep hill through some trees. You stared blankly through the trees to try and understand why he had brought you to this place. ''Here'' he pulled Siego to a halt and dismounted before helping you down. ''Follow me'' he pulled out his lantern and lit it as you followed him up the rest of the hill until you came to a clearing where Arthur stopped. It was a small patch of open grass right on the very peak of the hill. You turned to him, cocking an eyebrow at him, confused to why he brought you to this little area. He smirked when he saw your confusion. ''Look up''. You did as he said and looked into the pitch black night sky.

''I don't see much, just a couple stars'' you pointed out.

''Keep lookin'.'' Arthur spoke softly as he blew out the lantern. Suddenly the black sky was filled with millions of stars that filled the darkness with light and colour. You had never seen anything so beautiful in your whole life. Each star was visible and glowing so brightly that you didn't need any lights to see. Your jaw dropped and your eyes widened at the spectacle of the night sky.

''It's beautiful'' you spoke breathlessly. ''How did you find this place?'' you didn't want to look away in case your eyes were playing tricks on you.

''I stumbled across it one night as I was out thinkin'. Thought you might like it'' Arthur sat in the grass. You decided to lay down next to him and stare at the sky, he followed you and laid his back on the grass.

''What were you thinkin' bout?'' you turned to look at him. The light from the stars twinkled in his eyes as he faced you too.

''You'' he admitted. He lent up on one elbow so he could hover almost above you. ''You're all I ever think about'' he paused looking deeply into your eyes. That warm feeling in your chest came back, you bit your bottom lip whilst he looked over you. Every inch of you was trembling with a mix of excitement and nerves. Heat rushed to your cheeks and you could feel flutters in your stomach. He was so close to you that you could feel his breath on your skin. You longed for him, looking at his lips, only inches away from yours. He took your glances as a plea and leant in to kiss you gently. Your whole body began to tingle as he moved his free hand to your hip. You moved your hand and tangled your fingers in his light brown hair. As both your lips moved against each others the kiss slowly became more intimate. Arthur's hand started to wonder from your hip down your thigh to your knee. He grasped a hold of the back of your knee and brought your leg over his hips until you were straddling him. Your torso now pressed against his and using your elbows on either side of his head to balance yourself. You didn't break the kiss, still desperate for one another. The feeling of his warm body in-between your legs made your thighs burn. His hands started to wonder up and down your body leaving warm trails where he touched. It was perfect, just the two of you under the beautiful night sky. The way you felt in this moment was something you had never experienced in your entire life. It was as though everything you have ever needed in life was right there with you and nothing could break you apart. You could feel his heart racing in his chest as you were laid over him. Each time you took a breath you would look into each others eyes and melt back into the kiss again. The kiss started to become passionate and hungry for one another. Both your tongue's dancing together in synchronisation. You felt how hungry he was for you as his manhood grew under his trousers. Suddenly, you panic. All the good that you were just feeling was flushed from your body and panic overtook it. Heat rushed from your body to your skin leaving you feeling cold inside but sweating in pure fear. You broke the kiss, got off his hips and stood up in a mad rush. Each breath you took seemed to get harder and harder until you felt like you were suffocating.

"Whoa, easy" Arthur was by your side before you knew it. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to his chest whilst whispering softly to you. You could feel the tears stinging your eyes and you buried your face in his shirt, gasping for breath. He held you while you cried trying to calm you down. "Easy. It's alright. I'm here" he whispered to you. You listened to each word he said, hearing the raspiness from his thick acent. As you breathed heavily, you took in his smell and the feeling of his muscled chest beneath your fingertips. Focusing on him, every breath he took and sound he made brought you slowly out of you panic until you managed to catch your breath. He didn't let his grip on you go until your breathing was back to normal and the sounds of your whimpers had stopped. Quietly he took a step back just releasing you enough so he could see your face. "You alright? I didn't mean to scare ya" he spoke softly. You raised your head to look at him. Your eyes were bloodshot from crying and small wet trails ran down your cheeks.

"It ain't your fault" your voice was shaken. "I'm just damaged goods" you shook you head as you stepped away from him. You were so embarrassed and frustrated by your blind panic that you daren't look at him. You found a spot on the grass and sat down with knees hugged to your chest. Arthur came and sat by your side again and you hid your face from him in your knees.

"You ain't damaged goods" he nudged you, trying to cheer you up. "Wanna talk about it?" you looked up from your knees to catch his concerned look. You felt sick to your stomach at the thought of how you just made him feel. He had done everything to make this moment perfect and you screwed it up. You owed him an explanation.

"It wasn't your fault. I guess I just panicked..." you paused to take a deep breath. "I've only ever consented to this sorta thing once and that was before.... For a long time I was forced into lettin' those men touch me and use me at their own pleasure. They would hold me down or beat me until I gave in. Or they would just force themselves upon me. I guess I just associate being touched in that way to....well, to back then. It wasn't you at all Arthur" you looked into his eyes. He looked at you the same way he once did when you were tied to the wagon, you saw the sorrow in his expression. Tears threatened to leave your eyes again. You wanted more than anything to be intimate with Arthur in this way but ghosts from your past haunted your mind. "I've never been more comfortable with anyone before. I just got memories that flash through my head and I just panicked. I'm sorry".

"You have nothin' to be sorry for (Y/N)" he cut you off. "What happened to you, I'm surprised you let me touch you at all" he gave you a sweet smile as he laid down on the grass. "Come 'er" he held his arm out for you to lay down with him. You laid on your side next to him with your head on his shoulder and arm over his chest. "We don't have to rush into anythin' your not comfortable with. I promise you, no one will ever hurt ya again, not as long as I'm around" he pulled you in tighter to his body and you felt safe and secure. You were so glad he understood, he didn't force himself upon you because he was in the mood. All your fears slowly drifted away as he held you in his warm embrace. You knew you could trust Arthur but now he confirmed that he would never hurt you. Not just with his words but by his actions. The night sky was still full of bright stars, glistening down for just the both of you to enjoy. You spoke sweetly to one another for a couple of hours until you felt your eyes getting heavy. You can't remember when you fell asleep but you knew you had never felt more comfortable then in Arthur's arm's that night. As though nothing in the world could hurt you as long as he was there.

--

Chapter 11

@nena-ma

[fydream]

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✰ how to be a heartbreaker

↳ so what happens when park jisung, the school’s infamous fuckboy runs into the new girl at school? out of boredom he decides it’ll be fun to have someone new to play with, but little does he know, she’s learning how to be a heartbreaker.

a/n: hi! an authors note before this chapter begins! 1. yes i know the formatting is different but that’s only because this chapter is 5.9k words long!! (yes you heard me!! 5.9k!! that’s the most ive written for anything published on this blog!!) so there will be a cut bc i know it’s annoying to scroll past long posts haha. 2. i know i didn’t mention it in this chapter but i just wanted to say that if you did want to listen to music while reading this, during y/n and jisung’s scene you should definitely listen to euphoria by bts and that jeno and donghyuck’s song is i.l.y. by the rose. i hope u guys enjoy!

An hour or so later you're running out your front door to meet Jisung, who already regrets saying he'll wait.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry-" You apologize. "I didn't mean to take that long you must've been bored out of your mind!"

"It's okay." Jisung reassures. "We won't be there that long, we might be a little late to hoco if that's okay with you."

"That's fine!! Just let me text Donghyuck that I'm with you then."

"Okay."

The ride to where Jisung is taking you is quiet, nothing but his various hums to the music he plays as as he drives. It's nice, it reminds you of the first time he gave you a ride home. Quiet, but comfortable.

Instead of looking at your phone you look out the window, then take a second to look at Jisung before looking back out the window again.

You so weren't slick about it either because he notices how you quick you look away and how eager you are to sneak another glance.

"What?" He asks. "Why'd you look at me like that?"

"It's nothing.." You mumble, trying best to hide the smile that's slowly creeping up on your face.

"C'mon." He insists. "Tell me!!" He tries to make it sound like he doesn't care about the topic that much, but his vocal chords work against him as it comes out as a whine.

"Nothing.. It's just.. You look like that, and I look like this.."

"What, you mean beautiful like always?"

Jisung makes note of how quickly your cheeks turn pink at the comment he made.

"You can't just say that!" You argue.

"Yes I can, you're my date tonight after all. What kind of person would I be to not compliment their date?"

You open your mouth, about to speak before he cuts you off from your thought. "And don't worry y/n. I'll take that look as a compliment itself." He snickers.

"Hey!" You shout, earning another laugh from him.

"Hey Jisung?" You ask once the giggles die down.

"Hm?"

"Don't tell anyone I've said this but um.." You start, trailing off at the last part. "Donghyuck has uh, told me things.. about you." You notice how he looks at you, how the expression on his face quickly changes from happy and carefree, to concerned and worried. "I know you probably know what I'm talking about.. I uh- I can kinda.. tell.."

"Yeah." He whispers, trying to block out what you just told him.

"But y'know. I think he's got you all wrong."

"You do?" He asks, a bit too eagerly.

"I do." You say. "From the past how many weeks? Of knowing you, we've gotten close. And I don't think you're anything like that, at least, not anymore.. I've seen the difference between how you act in class and when you're with Jeno and Jaemin, than how you are when we're together and I'd like to hope it isn't just an act. I'm not stupid, y'know."

"I never said you were, I never thought you were either."

"I know. You're not too hard to read, y'know."

For once, Jisung is left speechless. This is the first time anyone has really brought this up on him and he has no idea how to respond. Questions begin to flood his thoughts as he begins to wonder what do you know. Do you know the real reason why he asked you out? How long have you known? What if you never want to talk to him again?

"I-" He tries to speak, but nothing comes out.

"It's okay. I don't know everything about you." You scoff, watching as the boy next to you lets out an exhale. "I don't know that much, but I know enough."

"Enough?" He asks.

"Enough to know that if you are going to break my heart, you should do it right now. Because this is the part where I'm about to tell you how much I like you, and I don't want you getting that satisfaction."

Once you're done talking, you give him a smile. It's a small, innocent, bittersweet smile. It's one of the smiles you would give out to other girls who were ever mean to you, it's subtle, but it gets the point across.

"So what'll be? Park Jisung." You ask, awaiting a response.

Jisung has many things to think about right now, the most important one being driving. He still has yet to process everything you just told him, let alone figure out what to say.

"I.. don't know what to tell you, y/n." He sighs. "I don't want to hurt you.. Can you give me a few minutes?"

"You can have all the time in the world, sweetheart."

When Jisung finally decides to talk to you once you've reached your destination. If you're going to be honest, it was the most awkward car ride you've been in.

"Okay." He starts, closing his car door. "I know that was way more than a few minutes but I just wanted to tell you this here."

The spot that he had taken you to was a little hill area, on the other side of town. From the top of it you could see the sun set as it's golden rays covered the place you called home. You weren't going to lie, it was beautiful indeed but you didn't care for it at the moment. What you wanted to know was what he was going to say.

"I was.. gonna tell you this here no matter what happened so uh.. Here goes nothing?" There's hesitation, and you can already tell that whatever he was going to tell you was something big. "I'm not here to break your heart, y/n. I know, that's what you thought and probably what everyone else thought too but.. you're different. I know this."

Your brain wants you to call bullshit on that statement but your heart prevents you from doing so. The logical part of you believes that it's probably all a lie, an act just to get you to fall for him. You know this. You know the stories, you've seen the receipts of what he's done to people before you, and you can only assume the things he'll do just to make you fall for him. But if you knew this, then why does it still work?

"Am I really different?" You ask, looking up at him with shaky eyes.

He chuckles.

"Well, yeah. For starters, you're the first girl to ever call me out on my bullshit like that so.." He jokes. "I know.. you're scared. But you shouldn't be." He whispers. "You really are different. I promise."

"Listen, Jisung." You start. "I really want to believe you. It's just hard, because you haven't really given me a reason on why I should."

"That's okay. I understand." He says softly. "I didn't expect you to."

For a second, your heart breaks. It would've continued if he didn't continue talking right then and there.

"But what if I told you all the reasons why you should?" He asks, giving you a shy smile.

"What are they?"

"Well first of all. You're smart. You're smarter than I'll ever be. You've figured me out in what? The span of three months? You don't give yourself enough credit than you deserve. Second of all, you're really passionate about a lot of things. Like that time we argued in the library over the best Stranger Things season? Even though you were wrong, you kept arguing against me."

"Hey!" You exclaim, while Jisung gives you a smile in response.

"Third of all, you're really cute. Don't think I don't notice how your nose scrunches whenever I make a comment you don't like, or how easily you get excited over the simplest things. Remember when we walked to the cafe across the street from school? You got excited because the place had good boba, out of all things. Do you know how ridiculous you sounded?"

"Well- yeah! That's because it was a cafe! And not a boba shop!" You defend.

"I'm kidding." He chuckles. "Also, did you know that whenever you get embarrassed over something not only your cheeks turn pink, but your nose does too."

"You can stop now.. y'know.." You mumble.

"These are just a few things that I like about you, y/n. Do I need to tell you all of them for you to believe me?" He asks, looking at you innocently, as if he didn't just give you the biggest ego boost of all time.

"I believe you." You giggle as he pulls you in for a tight hug.

"Thanks, love." He whispers, placing a light kiss on the top of your head. "Now it's your turn. What were you going to tell me in the car?"

The next hour or so is spent with you two talking about each other, both of you giving out compliments as if there were no tomorrow. If it weren't for the sun being completely gone then you two probably wouldn't have noticed how long you've been alone together.

"Oh my god." Jisung exclaims. "What time is it?"

"Uhm.. Seven fifteen?" You respond, quite confused on why he was suddenly freaking out.

"We have to go, now. They're going to close the doors in like ten minutes."

"Oh. Okay!" You smile, eagerly skipping back to Jisung's car with his hand intertwined with yours. "We better get going then, huh?"

"Y/n said that she might be late because she's with Jisung already." Donghyuck tells Renjun and Chenle once pull up in front of his house.

Renjun had driven both of them together due to them only being a block away from each other. Donghyuck on the other hand was going to drive you, but when you texted him that you were already with Jisung he decided to ask Renjun for a ride. "Sorry for the inconvenience.. by the way." He mumbles, buckling his seat belt.

"It's alright. Where do you think they went?" Renjun asks.

"Hell if I know. This is the most I've seen Jisung do for anyone." Donghyuck retorts, clearly bitter about being ditched by his best friend.

"Should we be worried?" Chenle asks.

"I don't think so." Donghyuck responds. "Y/n is her own person and she can handle herself, plus what the fuck is Jisung even gonna do? They probably went to take pictures or something."

Chenle shrugs. "I guess so. How are you doing then?"

"What do you mean?"

Chenle shrugs again. "You know what I mean. During the time you two fought you barely said anything to each other, it was just her hanging out with Jisung. Then, even after you made up she ditched us to hang out with him and even now they're probably on a date before the dance or something. How are you dealing with it?"

Once Chenle is done talking, Renjun shoots him a glare before hitting him lightly on the back of his head.

"Ouchie.. That hurt!" Chenle whines. "Aren't you supposed to be driving Junnie.~~" He teases.

"Yeah but I'm also trying to make sure no one fucking cries tonight." He hisses. "Why would you even ask that?"

"I dunno. Was curious I guess?"

"Haven't you heard the phrase curiosity killed the cat?"

"It's been alright." Donghyuck says to prevent Renjun from harming Chenle any more. "I haven't really thought about it I guess? I mean.. I was the one who assigned her to Jisung after all so.."

"Do you think she y'know? Likes him?" He asks.

"Chenle!"

"Whaaaat?? I'm just asking."

"Zhong Chenle you will drop this topic before I stop this car and make you walk to homecoming alone."

"You wouldn't do that. You love me too much."

"Don't try me." Renjun threatens, turning on his blinker.

"Okay okay.. god.."

"Are you two done arguing now?" Donghyuck asks, rolling his eyes. "And no, Chenle. I don't think she does. If she did she would've told me by now."

"Alright Hyuck.. Whatever you say."

Sooner than later the three arrive at school where Renjun drops off Chenle and Donghyuck to hop in the line already forming before leaving to park his car.

"Ask any more questions Lele, and you're walking home." Renjun threatens before Chenle slams the car door on him.

"I mean it this time!" Renjun yells as he watches the two boys walk away from him.

"So." Chenle starts as Renjun drives off. "What's your answer?"

Donghyuck gives him a confused look. "Answer?"

"To y'know.. the question."

"I already told you."

"No silly, I meant your real answer."

Donghyuck is silent for a second before he decides to answer.

"How did you know?" He asks, and Chenle giggles.

"You just told me." He laughs. "I didn't think you'd walk into that one, Hyuck."

"Oh shut up." Donghyuck teases. "It's not like it would matter or anything."

"I supposed you're right." Chenle hums. "But if it did.. Then what?"

"Then I'd tell her to get out of there." Donghyuck whispers to himself.

"Hm?"

"Oh- uh, nothing. I dunno." Donghyuck responds. He knows he has no chance in fooling Chenle but even after that response you'd know not to bother him about the topic anymore.

Once Renjun is done parking he meets up with the two boys and they discuss about how their night will go. While the line slowly moves Renjun argues with Chenle that they should take photos first. Chenle argues back saying that he wants snacks and that all the good ones will be gone if they wait too long. While this goes on Donghyuck has been sending you frequent texts.

[hyuck: hey! we're in line now! see you in a bit?]

[hyuck: are you on your way soon?]

[hyuck: pls hurry.. renle fighting.. dk what to do..]

Needless to say, you haven't responded to any one of them, leaving Donghyuck wonder what you were even doing.

After successfully waiting in line and making it through their schools quick security check, Chenle, Renjun, and Donghyuck had finally made it inside the gymnasium where the dance was being held.

Once inside they move to an quieter place, where they could talk without having to yell over the already loud music that's being played.

"What about you Hyuck?" Renjun asks. "What do you want to do first?"

"Hmm? What? Sorry." Donghyuck responds, checking his phone once more before pocketing it. "What's happening?"

Renjun frowns. "You weren't listening, huh?"

"No, sorry." He apologizes. "Y/n hasn't texted me back yet and I don't want to do anything until she gets here y'know?"

"Don't worry Hyuck, it's possible they're still outside or something. They just opened the doors y'know."

"Yeah I know.. I'm just.. yeah."

Ten minutes later, you still haven't responded and the music is loud, but it's not loud enough to drown out Donghyuck's heartbeat as he frantically awaits your arrival. As each second passes by he begins to regret letting you go with Jisung, because you're never late, but the second that he lets Jisung control how your night starts you're ten minutes late and they're be closing the doors to the dance soon.

Renjun begins to notice that you aren't here either and decides walk over to Donghyuck to ask if he knew where you were.

"Hyuck, is Y/n here yet?" He asks, tapping his shoulder lightly.

Donghyuck gives no verbal response, instead he shakes his head while he fiddles with his phone checking back if you happened to text him. "I don't know where she is Junnie.."

"Hey, it's okay." He reassures. "It's not like she's in danger or anything, I know you don't trust Jisung that much but I doubt he'd do anything to hurt her. She'll be here soon, okay? I promise."

"Junnie~~" Chenle whines, popping up from behind them. "I'm boredddd. Can't we just do something already?"

"Lele, not now." Renjun shoos. "We're talking here."

"It's okay." Donghyuck says. "You guys can go do something, it's fine. I don't want to keep you from having fun tonight."

"Are you sure?" Renjun asks, he knows not to believe Donghyuck but he's getting quite annoyed at the fact that Chenle keeps pulling at his arm.

"Yeah. It's fine, if anything happens I'll text one of you."

"You heard him!! Let's go!!" Chenle exclaims before grabbing Renjun by the arm to drag him to god knows where.

"Chenle!" Renjun yelps. "I-I'll text you Hyuck! We won't be gone for long. I swear!" He yells back at him.

And then the two were gone. Leaving Donghyuck alone, by himself.

One of the worst feelings in the world is feeling alone, in a place full of people.

He doesn't know why he let them go off without him, maybe it's because he wanted to be alone, or maybe it's because he didn't know any better. But standing alone on the sides of a school dance, with no one to talk to really shows how lonely you are. He knows none of you meant to do it to him on purpose, it's just him overthinking things after all. But if he was okay with them leaving, then why did it hurt?

Deciding it was awkward enough to just stand there and people watch, Donghyuck decides to go back on his phone. He checks your text messages only to see no response. "Great." He thinks to himself. "You said you would be here, but you're not. I guess you did spend a lot of time with them after all."

Donghyuck feels himself about to cry when someone taps his shoulder. He closes his eyes trying to fight back the few tears that threaten to spill before having to talk to whoever was with him. He didn't want to answer any questions on why he was crying, only knowing that if someone asked him if he was okay he wouldn't be able to control them.

When Donghyuck looks up from his phone, the last person he expected to see is standing in front of him.

"Hi." Jeno greets. It's short, and airy. But it's just enough to get his heart racing. Is it from fear? Worry? Or is it from the fact that his ex, just so happened to catch him at the wrong place and wrong time.

"Hi." Donghyuck responds. It doesn't mean much because he didn't put any emotion into it, instead he decides to focus his attention elsewhere. He looks past Jeno towards the entrance of the gymnasium in hopes of seeing you walk in, spoiler alert, you didn't. "Chenle and Renjun picked the worst time to leave.." He thinks to himself. "I can't blame them though, after all I did tell them it was okay."

"You um- You look beautiful." Jeno compliments, giving Donghyuck a half-hearted smile. "So I've been told.." Donghyuck murmurs before attempting to push past the boy standing in front of him. "Listen. I don't have any time for this right now. Y/n said she would be here and she's not so-"

"Hyuck- Donghyuck, wait." Jeno starts, grabbing Donghyuck's wrist to prevent him from going any further.

"What the fuck? Let go of me!" He yells. It's loud enough to get the attention of a few people around him, but the music the DJ is playing is way to loud for them to have heard what he said.

"Hyuckie, I- Will you please let me explain?" Jeno practically begs, this is the first time that he and Donghyuck have interacted in person since the break up and he can already tell that he's blowing it.

"Don't- Don't call me that." Donghyuck states, hesitant to answer. "You've already explained yourself enough."

"Hyuckie.. Please. We haven't talked in months, you haven't let me say anything."

Of course, Jeno had to find Donghyuck in one of these moments, where one of their songs was being played by the DJ. It was one of the songs that Jeno had showed him, meaning it left such a big impact on his heart. He doesn't know what to do, does he accept Jeno's offer and let him explain? Or does he continue the rest of his high school career pretending that Jeno doesn't exist, leaving many questions unanswered.

Panic starts to fill Donghyuck as he looks around to see if anyone had noticed him and Jeno together. It would cause a bunch of talk, considering that fact that they were both pretty popular and that teenagers loved to start rumors.

He notices Jaemin as he spots Jeno from across the room, by the way Jaemin is walking towards them he can tell that he was looking for Jeno himself, clearly unhappy and very confused where he found him. He glances back at the entrance for a split second before looking towards the direction that his two friends had gone off in, only to see them walking back towards him, just as confused as Jaemin is. He can see the concern rise in Renjun once he sees who Donghyuck is with, as he grabs Chenle's arm to drag him across the makeshift dance floor that their school has created, where Chenle had decided to stop to talk to a few friends.

He looks back towards the entrance and to his luck he sees you and Jisung walk in. Thankful, he lets out a sigh of relief because he sees that you're here and that you're safe. He notices the smile that you have on your face and though he was a bit far away he can tell it's a genuine smile, like one of the one's you would show him when it was just you two hanging out. "I guess I worried for nothing." He thinks to himself, as he watches you two skip in, hands intertwined.

And amongst all this commotion happening at once, his ex, out of all people had to come up to him and ask him a question he knew he wouldn't be able to answer. So what does he do? He panics, of course.

"Oh my fucking god.." Donghyuck mumbles to no one in particular. Jeno seems to hear it but he doesn't process it because he's too busy being dragged by Donghyuck who was attempting to blend in with the big group of people who happened to pass by.

When Renjun, Chenle, and Jaemin end up where Donghyuck and Jeno were previously standing they're left more confused on where the two went. Though it's loud, Donghyuck manages to pick out Renjun's voice yell "What the fuck?" over a crowd of teenagers.

Donghyuck smiles to himself, knowing that he successfully got away. He didn't think it'd work, he'd only seen it in movies before and you know what people say, it's just movie magic after all.

"Where are we going?" Jeno asks innocently.

"Outside." Donghyuck responds, leading their way towards the "exit" sign on the other side of the gymnasium.

"Why?" Jeno asks once more, and Donghyuck turns around just to shoot him a glare.

"So no one. fucking. sees us." He grits through his teeth.

Needless to say, Jeno doesn't ask any more questions after that.

"Where is everyone?" You ask Jisung through the fit of giggles you let out.

"I dunno. Jeno isn't answering his phone so I'll call Jaemin, yeah?" He responds, just as giddy as you are.

"Oh, I was talking about Renjun, Chenle, and Hyuck."

"You can hang with us for a bit!" Jisung insists.

"I know but I haven't seen them all day." You pout. "I'll hang out with you after!! Besides, they're my best friends after all. How would you feel if I took you away from Jeno and Jaemin?"

"My dear you're allowed to do that any day of the week. I like you better than them anyways." He teases.

"Oh shut up. You know what I meant." You snort. "Can we just go find them please?"

"Yeah, hold on- Hi Jaemin!" Jisung says through his phone. "What? Sorry.. I can't really hear you. Is that Renjun? Why is he yelling at you?"

Your ears perk up hearing the name of your friend leave Jisung's mouth. "Renjun?" You ask, looking at him curious. "Are they okay?"

Jisung nods at you while trying to hear what Jaemin has to say, it's hard considering the fact that there's not only loud music coming from his phone speakers but the voice of an angry boy as well, and to add onto that, the same music being played just a couple feet away from you.

Pouting, you look at him. Jisung can tell you're worried about your friends by the way that your pupils shake as he pulls you into another tight hug, hoping to ease a bit of the worry.

From then you can kind of make out the conversation on the phone, it's something about Jeno and Donghyuck being together then suddenly disappearing out of thin air, like a magic trick.

"Where are you?" Jisung asks.

"We're in one of the back corners." Jaemin yells through his phone. "The uhh.. One on the right, your left."

"Okay. We're on our way." Jisung says before hanging up.

"I guess our night of fun had to end somewhere." He tells you before you two head further into the gymnasium to meet up with your friends.

Once you meet up with the three boys you're greeted with a hug from Chenle while you watch as Renjun and Jaemin argue.

"So they were right here?" You ask tapping Renjun's shoulder.

"Yeah. And then all of a sudden they disappeared." He says, quite frantically.

"Y'know worrying isn't going to do anything." Jaemin taunts.

"Yeah! And you making snarky comments doesn't help either!" Renjun shoots back.

"Can you two stop bickering a second?" Chenle snaps, surprising all of you. "We have no idea where the fuck they went and for the past five minutes all you two have done is argue? Why haven't we checked anywhere yet?"

"Because, Lele. They could be anywhere. We're in a room full of teenagers." Renjun states.

"For once, I agree with this one." Jaemin adds on, earning a glare from Renjun and a facepalm from Jisung.

"Okay? And? Have you ever thought about the fact that they could y'know, be outside?" Chenle asks.

"Why would they be outside?" You ask.

"Because it's loud in here, and it looked like they wanted to talk."

"So.." Jeno says, swinging his legs back and forth. He was currently seated on top of one of the picnic tables your school had, while Donghyuck was standing across from him, leaning against the corner of a wall.

"You said you would explain, so explain." Donghyuck states.

Jeno takes a deep breath as he stops swinging his legs, he looks at the ground before looking up towards Donghyuck who was already looking at him, clearly annoyed at the fact that Jeno was stalling.

"It was a dare." He starts, before Donghyuck cuts him off.

"Yes I know. We all know." He spits.

"But theres more." Jeno says once again. "As you know, Jisung dared me to ask you out and me, being the asshole I was back then, I agreed and decided to do so.." He pauses for a second. Trying to think of what to say next.

"Listen are you gonna keep stopping or are you going to tell the story?" Donghyuck comments, it's only been two minutes and he's already fed up with Jeno's bullshit.

"I am. I'm just trying to think about the right words to say."

"Why? So that I can fall back in love with you?"

"No, Hyuckie-"

"I said, don't call me that."

"Why?"

"Because Jeno!" Donghyuck yells, voice cracking as he tries to control the same tears from earlier from falling. "I am still in love with you! Each time I hear you say that stupid nickname my heart does leaps and I can't fucking stop it!"

His voice is loud enough for you to figure out where he is, and while the other students outside look around trying to find out what's going on, both you and Renjun take off running towards the sound of Donghyuck's voice.

Arriving in time to hear Donghyuck finish the last words of his sentence he can't tell if he's hurt or if he's relieved to see you. A sense of relief washes over him once he spots you, Renjun, and Chenle running in his direction. But then he sees Jisung and Jaemin, not that far behind you three, and he feels hurt, betrayed to say the most.

"So this is why you asked me, huh?" He scoffs, looking at Jeno with glossy eyes. "So you and your friends can get a little more enjoyment of my misery."

"Hyuckie- I-" Jeno starts.

"Save it. I don't ever want to hear from you again, Jeno. I can't believe I even believed you would tell me the truth."

Nothing more is said as Donghyuck walks away from all of you, and Jaemin and Jisung run towards Jeno. It's quiet, despite there being the sounds of the muffled music that's only being played from a hallway away, it feels like a horror movie with the unsettling silence between all of you.

Renjun is the first one to talk. His voice not only startles you, but grabs the attention of Jeno, Jisung, and Jaemin who happened to be a few feet in front of you.

"What the fuck happened?" He asks, looking at Jeno in the eye.

"I wanted to tell him that I'm sorry.. and that I missed things the way they were.." Jeno says, voice barely above a whisper.

Both you and Chenle can tell that Renjun is about to start yelling and if someone doesn't stop him now then fists will be thrown. Renjun is about to start talking again when Chenle interupts him.

"Junnie." He says softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It's not worth it. Let's just go find Hyuck, okay?" He eases.

Renjun takes a second to sigh and relaxes before deciding to head off with Chenle, he know's it'll only make things worse but he really wants to tell the three boys off and possibly throw a punch or two. "It's okay.." Chenle coos at him.

"Y/n, are you coming?" He asks, looking back at you.

"Uhh.. Yeah. Just give me a second. I'll meet up with you in a bit, okay? Just text me where you are." You say quickly before glancing over at Jeno and his crew.

Chenle looks at you, confused on why you were looking at Jeno. It only takes him a second to realize what you were doing before he walks off with a hesitant nod. "Um.. Okay.. Just uh, don't be long. I know Hyuck wanted to see you."

"Thanks Lele. You're the best." You say, before talking off towards Jeno.

"Lee Jeno." You state, standing where Donghyuck previously was. You earn a few glances from Jisung and Jaemin, ask if they were asking each other why you were here and how long you've been there. It's not because they were doing anything bad or wrong, it's because of the fact that they were caught being nice and genuine to one of their friends, something that barely anyone has seen before.

"Y/n." Jeno sniffs, trying his best to wipe away the tears that had managed to leak out. "What are- What are you doing here?"

"Save it." You say, walking towards him. You push Jaemin away as you take a seat on top of the table next to him. It earns you a glare from Jaemin, but you shrug it off and ignore him once he start's complaining that you stole his spot.

"Just- Just tell me everything." You sigh, awaiting a response from the boy next to you.

Jaemin shoots you another look before Jisung walks away with him, knowing this should be a private conversation. They don't go far though, just out of earshot.

"This is my fault." He starts. "If I just continued letting him hate me, then I wouldn't have hurt him like that.."

"It's not your fault, you just wanted to explain things. Do you want to tell me what you were going to tell him? Or is that too personal?" You ask.

Jeno is hesitant to answer. His first initial thought is no, but as the seconds go by his answer changes to yes.

"Start from the top. What happened?" You ask.

You're gentle, and being patient with him. It's something that he's thankful for. It's also something that reminds him of Donghyuck, because whenever the two of them had disagreements Donghyuck would always wait for Jeno to explain, this was the first time he hadn't.

"Okay well.." Jeno sniffs. "If you didn't already know.. Donghyuck and I used to date. Our relationship started off from a dare but as our months together passed by I began to enjoy his company a little bit more. I don't know what it was, and if you asked me I wouldn't be able to tell you but there was just something about him that I ended up liking. Maybe it's the way that his hair flopped on his face each time he ran up to me, or maybe it's because of how tightly he hugged me and how gentle his kisses were, but it was something." He pauses for a second, reliving through a few memories. "I ended up catching feelings.. and as soon as I figured out that I did, he found out how we got together."

"Oh." You sigh, not looking at him.

"I was going to tell him that I meant everything I told him.. All the 'I love you's' and the 'You look beautiful's' but he just wouldn't let me talk.. And then you guys came and that just- that only made things worse.. and now- god.. now he's gone. He said he never wants to see me again."

"I'm sorry, Jeno. It's my fault." You say softly, taking all the blame. "I'm the one who brought everyone here, if it weren't for me then you probably would be talking to him right now."

"It's okay." He reassures. "It's not your fault.. You just wanted to help your friend. I'm sure it would've gone poorly even if you weren't here."

"I doubt that's true."

"Are you kidding me y/n? He hates me! And he the worst part of it is that he has every right to do so.."

"I didn't know people who hated each other confess to each other about still liking one another." You joke, hoping to earn a laugh from Jeno. "Besides, it's not like you won't see each other again. You still have time to make things better, plus you have me on your side."

"My side?" Jeno asks.

"Well yeah. You still like him don't you?"

Jeno sighs, he's lucky you aren't paying that much attention to him because if you did you would've noticed the way he looked at Jisung and how it hurt him more to let you keep going on like this. Nonetheless he lets it happen and he wonders if he really does deserve your help.

"You're too good, y/n."

[frankiefellinlove]

This is it! The whole article where John Landau writes that Bruce “is the future of rock n roll”. Long but so worth the read, to see that quote in context.

GROWING YOUNG WITH ROCK AND ROLL

By Jon Landau

The Real Paper

May 22, 1974📷

It's four in the morning and raining. I'm 27 today, feeling old, listening to my records, and remembering that things were diffferent a decade ago. In 1964, I was a freshman at Brandeis University, playing guitar and banjo five hours a day, listening to records most of the rest of the time, jamming with friends during the late-night hours, working out the harmonies to Beach Boys' and Beatles' songs.

Real Paper soul writer Russell Gersten was my best friend and we would run through the 45s everyday: Dionne Warwick's "Walk On By" and "Anyone Who Had A Heart," the Drifters' "Up On the Roof," Jackie Ross' "Selfish One," the Marvellettes' "Too Many Fish in the Sea," and the one that no one ever forgets, Martha Reeves and the Vandellas' "Heat Wave." Later that year a special woman named Tamar turned me onto Wilson Pickett's "Midnight Hour" and Otis Redding's "Respect," and then came the soul. Meanwhile, I still went to bed to the sounds of the Byrds' "Mr. Tambourine Man" and later "Younger than Yesterday," still one of my favorite good-night albums. I woke up to Having a Rave-Up with the Yardbirds instead of coffee. And for a change of pace, there was always bluegrass: The Stanley Brothers, Bill Monroe, and Jimmy Martin.

Through college, I consumed sound as if it were the staff of life. Others enjoyed drugs, school, travel, adventure. I just liked music: listening to it, playing it, talking about it. If some followed the inspiration of acid, or Zen, or dropping out, I followed the spirit of rock'n'roll.

Individual songs often achieved the status of sacraments. One September, I was driving through Waltham looking for a new apartment when the sound on the car radio stunned me. I pulled over to the side of the road, turned it up, demanded silence of my friends and two minutes and fifty-six second later knew that God had spoken to me through the Four Tops' "Reach Out, I'll Be There," a record that I will cherish for as long as [I] live.

During those often lonely years, music was my constant companion and the search for the new record was like a search for a new friend and new revelation. "Mystic Eyes" open mine to whole new vistas in white rock and roll and there were days when I couldn't go to sleep without hearing it a dozen times.

Whether it was a neurotic and manic approach to music, or just a religious one, or both, I don't really care. I only know that, then, as now, I'm grateful to the artists who gave the experience to me and hope that I can always respond to them.

The records were, of course, only part of it. In '65 and '66 I played in a band, the Jellyroll, that never made it. At the time I concluded that I was too much of a perfectionist to work with the other band members; in the end I realized I was too much of an autocrat, unable to relate to other people enough to share music with them.

Realizing that I wasn't destined to play in a band, I gravitated to rock criticism. Starting with a few wretched pieces in Broadside and then some amateurish but convincing reviews in the earliest Crawdaddy, I at least found a substitute outlet for my desire to express myself about rock: If I couldn't cope with playing, I may have done better writing about it.

But in those days, I didn't see myself as a critic -- the writing was just another extension of an all-encompassing obsession. It carried over to my love for live music, which I cared for even more than the records. I went to the Club 47 three times a week and then hunted down the rock shows -- which weren't so easy to find because they weren't all conveniently located at downtown theatres. I flipped for the Animals' two-hour show at Rindge Tech; the Rolling Stones, not just at Boston Garden, where they did the best half hour rock'n'roll set I had ever seen, but at Lynn Football Stadium, where they started a riot; Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels overcoming the worst of performing conditions at Watpole Skating Rink; and the Beatles at Suffolk Down, plainly audible, beatiful to look at, and confirmation that we -- and I -- existed as a special body of people who understood the power and the flory of rock'n'roll.

I lived those days with a sense of anticipation. I worked in Briggs & Briggs a few summers and would know when the next albums were coming. The disappointment when the new Stones was a day late, the exhilaration when Another Side of Bob Dylan showed up a week early. The thrill of turning on WBZ and hearing some strange sound, both beautiful and horrible, but that demanded to be heard again; it turned out to be "You've Lost That Loving Feeling," a record that stands just behind "Reach Out I'll Be There" as means of musical catharsis.

My temperament being what it is, I often enjoyed hating as much as loving. That San Francisco shit corrupted the purity of the rock that I lvoed and I could have led a crusade against it. The Moby Grape moved me, but those songs about White Rabbits and hippie love made me laugh when they didn't make me sick. I found more rock'n'roll in the dubbed-in hysteria on the Rolling Stones Got Live if You Want It than on most San Francisco albums combined.

For every moment I remember there are a dozen I've forgotten, but I feel like they are with me on a night like this, a permanent part of my consciousness, a feeling lost on my mind but never on my soul. And then there are those individual experiences so transcendent that I can remember them as if they happened yesterday: Sam and Dave at the Soul Together at Madison Square Garden in 1967: every gesture, every movement, the order of the songs. I would give anything to hear them sing "When Something's Wrong with My Baby" just the way they did it that night.

The obsessions with Otis Redding, Jerry Butler, and B.B. King came a little bit later; each occupied six months of my time, while I digested every nuance of every album. Like the Byrds, I turn to them today and still find, when I least expect it, something new, something deeply flet, something that speaks to me.

As I left college in 1969 and went into record production I started exhausting my seemingly insatiable appetite. I felt no less intensely than before about certain artists; I just felt that way about fewer of them. I not only became more discriminating but more indifferent. I found it especially hard to listen to new faces. I had accumulated enough musical experience to fall back on when I needed its companionship but during this period in my life I found I needed music less and people, whom I spend too much of my life ignoring, much more.

Today I listen to music with a certain measure of detachment. I'm a professional and I make my living commenting on it. There are months when I hate it, going through the routine just as a shoe salesman goes through his. I follow films with the passion that music once held for me. But in my own moments of greatest need, I never give up the search for sounds that can answer every impulse, consume all emotion, cleanse and purify -- all things that we have no right to expect from even the greatest works of art but which we can occasionally derive from them.

Still, today, if I hear a record I like it is no longer a signal for me to seek out every other that the artist has made. I take them as they come, love them, and leave them. Some have stuck -- a few that come quickly to mind are Neil Young's After the Goldrush, Stevie Wonder's Innervisions, Van Morrison's Tupelo Honey, James Taylor's records, Valerie Simpson's Exposed, Randy Newman's Sail Away, Exile on Main Street, Ry Cooder's records, and, very specially, the last three albums of Joni Mitchell -- but many more slip through the mind, making much fainter impressions than their counterparts of a decade ago.

But tonight there is someone I can write of the way I used to write, without reservations of any kind. Last Thursday, at the Harvard Square theatre, I saw my rock'n'roll past flash before my eyes. And I saw something else: I saw rock and roll future and its name is Bruce Springsteen. And on a night when I needed to feel young, he made me feel like I was hearing music for the very first time.

When his two-hour set ended I could only think, can anyone really be this good; can anyone say this much to me, can rock'n'roll still speak with this kind of power and glory? And then I felt the sores on my thighs where I had been pounding my hands in time for the entire concert and knew that the answer was yes.

Springsteen does it all. He is a rock'n'roll punk, a Latin street poet, a ballet dancer, an actor, a joker, bar band leader, hot-shit rhythm guitar player, extraordinary singer, and a truly great rock'n'roll composer. He leads a band like he has been doing it forever. I racked my brains but simply can't think of a white artist who does so many things so superbly. There is no one I would rather watch on a stage today. He opened with his fabulous party record "The E Street Shuffle" -- but he slowed it down so graphically that it seemed a new song and it worked as well as the old. He took his overpowering story of a suicide, "For You," and sang it with just piano accompaniment and a voice that rang out to the very last row of the Harvard Square theatre. He did three new songs, all of them street trash rockers, one even with a "Telstar" guitar introduction and an Eddie Cochran rhythm pattern. We missed hearing his "Four Winds Blow," done to a fare-thee-well at his sensational week-long gig at Charley's but "Rosalita" never sounded better and "Kitty's Back," one of the great contemporary shuffles, rocked me out of my chair, as I personally led the crowd to its feet and kept them there.

Bruce Springsteen is a wonder to look at. Skinny, dressed like a reject from Sha Na Na, he parades in front of his all-star rhythm band like a cross between Chuck Berry, early Bob Dylan, and Marlon Brando. Every gesture, every syllable adds something to his ultimate goal -- to liberate our spirit while he liberates his by baring his soul through his music. Many try, few succeed, none more than he today.

It's five o'clock now -- I write columns like this as fast as I can for fear I'll chicken out -- and I'm listening to "Kitty's Back." I do feel old but the record and my memory of the concert has made me feel a little younger. I still feel the spirit and it still moves me.

I bought a new home this week and upstairs in the bedroom is a sleeping beauty who understands only too well what I try to do with my records and typewriter. About rock'n'roll, the Lovin' Spoonful once sang, "I'll tell you about the magic that will free your soul/But it's like trying to tell a stranger about rock'n'roll." Last Thursday, I remembered that the magic still exists and as long as I write about rock, my mission is to tell a stranger about it -- just as long as I remember that I'm the stranger I'm writing for.

[hanaridulsetcheese]

Find Yourself

~ Stray Kids

Note: Takes place two days after Double Knot was released.

~~~

Reader's POV

I was so nervous, my hands were shaking and I couldn't breathe normally. Today was my first evaluation with Park Jinyoung PD nim. This would decide if I get to carry on as a JYP trainee.

My chances of staying were not that high to begin with, I was the youngest trainee in JYP and I only specialised in dance. My voice wasn't that good, my singing was average and my rap was bad. I only had dance to rely on, I was sure I would be sent home but I wasn't going to leave without a fight.

I was currently in the practice room, doing the cover of Stray Kids sunbaenim's new song Double Knot. The choreography was tough, but that's what I liked about it, if you got it right then it looked perfect.

I was the only one of the trainees who dared to perform one of the newest songs in the company, many chose to perform a song that was full proof and well known, in my case, Double Knot was just released two days ago. I heard that Stray Kids were still mixing up the choreography for the song.

I pushed myself of the floor and put the music on again, taking my place and waited for the music to start. The beginning was the most difficult because it was made for the nine members to perform, not a solo artist.

I tried my best to improvise for this part so it looked part of the choreography but eventually just ended up doing Bang Chan's move where we was on the floor in the beginning.

As the song played, I had the video of thier practice in my head and followed along with the moves, closing my eyes and letting the music take over my body, carrying out the moves.

When ever I danced, my eyes were always closed and I did what came to mind, that's how I auditioned, I don't know what moves I did but apparently it was as bad as I thought it would be and Park Jinyoung accepted me.

When the chorus part of the song came, I focused on the lyrics and the video playing in my head and did the moves, hoping it didn't look sloppy. I never really saw how I dance but people always told me I was good so I took their word for it.

When the song ended, I fell to the floor, panting heavily and looked at myself in the mirror, I expected to see only myself in the mirror but I was met with nine other people staring at me through the mirror, they were none other than Stray Kids themselves.

I got up of the floor and faced them, my face grew hotter as I looked at them.

"Annyeonghaseyo oppas. " I bowed to them.

"Annyeonghaseyo. " the all greeted me. They all smiles at me as I looked awkwardly at them. I've been here for two months but this was the first time I met them, or any idol for that matter.

"What's your name kid? " Lee Know asked.

"I'm (Y/L/N) (Y/N). " I said shyly.

"You got quite some moves there, are you planning on becoming a trainee? " Bang Chan asked.

"I- I'm already a trainee. "

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know. It's just that we met all the trainees and we don't remember meeting you- " they all looked at each other.

"It's okay, I never associated myself with the other trainees or idols, I always stayed in the dorms or here. " I told them.

"That's not nice, you should go out and socialise. " Han said, looking at me with sad eyes.

"I can't. I'm not good at socialising. " you look down at your feet.

"We can help. " Woojin says.

"Thank you, but no thanks. I couldn't ask you guys to do that for me, after all, I might be going home after today. "

"What why?! " they all looked at me shocked.

"I don't really have any talents. I can't sing or rap and my dance isn't that good. "

"You are such a good dancer, what you just did there was amazing, some of us can't dance like that. " Felix says.

"You're just being nice. " I told him.

"I'm not kidding, we all took so long to learn this dance and you learnt it like what? Two days? You executed the dance out perfectly. "

"Was I really that good? " I asked, hopeful.

"Yes you were. Why don't you believe that? " Hyunjin asked.

"I never actually saw myself dance, I have this thing where I close my eyes while in dance. I've been dancing since I was six and I never saw myself dance. " you told them.

"Well your missing out something great, you have do much talent for someone so young. " Changbin said.

"There's no way Park Jinyoung PD nim would send you home. " Jeongin said, he gave me his signature dimpled smile.

"When do you have to perform it for him? " Seungmin asked.

"In- " I checked my phone, "two hours. "

"You shouldn't be over working yourself, the performance was perfect, you should rest now. " Bang Chan said.

"I can't rest, I feel like there is something missing. " I told him.

"How about you do it one more time, but this time you do it with your eyes open. Maybe you find that something missing. " Lee Know said.

"I-I could try. " I said. My nerves were over the roof, it's one thing doing the moves alone but when you have the creators of the dance watching you, it's a whole other feeling.

Hyunjin played the song and I took a deep breath in, getting ready.

Almost immediately my eyes closed and I began to do Bang Chan's part.

"Eyes open! " one of them yelled over the music, I slowly opened my eyes and looked at my self in the mirror, still doing the dance moves.

It felt weird watching myself as I danced, but it felt good. My moves were sharp and precise, when the chorus hit that's when I realised what was missing, I missed the sights I saw while dancing, seeing the different parts of the room, seeing the nine smiling faces of Stray Kids watching me.

I smiled as I danced, watching my moves in the mirror, feeling the energy of the song take over me. I was ready to face Park Jinyoung and make him see that I was worthy of staying.

I finished of the song with Lee Know's move and smiled at myself. The was the sound of clapping behind me and I turned around and I saw Hyunjin holding up his phone, on a FaceTime with Park Jinyoung.

"Park Jinyoung PD nim, annyeonghaseyo. " I bowed to him, speechless.

"Well down (Y/N). That was the best dance performance I have ever seen. You're clear to carry in training with JYP, congratulations. I would like to see you in my office at five tonight. " he said.

"Of course sir, I'll be there. Thank you so much. " I bowed again.

"I have great plans for you (Y/N). " he smiled and cut the call.

I stood there in the middle of the practice room, speechless, staring at the nine idols who were busy smiling at me. Before I could comprehend anything, they all tackled me in a group hug, I couldn't life and deny the fact that my heart fluttered as the hugged me.

"We knew you could do it! "

"I can't believe you called Park Jinyoung. What if my performance was bad?! "

"But it wasn't, you heard him, you have talent. Don't be so hard in yourself. " Lee Know told me.

"I can't thank you guys enough for this. " You smiled at them.

"You can thank us by allowing us to take you out for ice cream? " Woojin said.

"I can't do that, I'm on a diet- "

"You're allowed to have one cheat day since you're so young. Let that day be today. " Seungmin said.

"Okay I guess. " I said and walked out with them.

"Since you're in the clear now, maybe you could start socialising more with the other trainees. " Felix said.

"I'm too shy to talk to anyone. " I admitted.

"We can help with that. We kind of have experience taking people out if their shells. " Changbin said, gesturing to Jeongin who blushed.

"Okay fine, but- "

"No buts except yours on the social bus. " Han said.

"Thanks guys. "

The rest of the night was spent fooling around with Stray Kids. They were so much of fun to be with. They told you stories if their trainee days and how it was like before they were put together.

At the end of the day, they walked you to your firm and you thanked them for the day.

"Thank you guys for helping me, if it wasn't for you guys I would be a nervous wreck right now having to perform in front of Park Jinyoung. "

"You're welcome (Y/N). Just remember not to push yourself so hard. " Jeongin said.

"And go out and make some friends. " Hyunjin said.

"I will, goodnight guys. "

You walked away into your dorms, pushing the button on the elevator and waited for it to come.

You heard laughing and turned around to see some of your dorm mates walking in the lobby.

"Hey (Y/N). " Sana, the oldest in your dorm greeted.

"Hey guys. How was evaluation? "

"It was great, Park Jinyoung cleared us, you? "

"Same here. "

"That's awesome. " Haneul, the third oldest said. "Say (Y/N), do you want to hangout with us at the rooftop? The rest of the girls are gonna be there. "

"I would love to. " you smiled, thinking about what Stray Kids told you.

They wanted you to break out if your shell and find yourself, and that's what you were going to do.

[jaex2]

Failing | Yoongi Imagine

I was listening to the song "I Wanna Know" by The Hunna and was instantly inspired to write this AU. It's such a bop, I encourage you all to listen!

Preview: You've been feeling neglected, and you're ready to give up. But, Yoongi doesn't give up easily.

Genre: Mafia/gang AU, some angst and fluff

Warnings: Nothing much, mentions of violence/drugs

****

You were fully aware things had not been going well the last 6 months. The gang had lost some valuable hideouts to rivals, a couple members defected, and some profit loss. When things aren't going the way Yoongi wanted them to, everyone around him paid the price. You couldn't remember how many people you've watched him verbally degrade and physically slap around.

You were lucky enough to have the prestigious position of being his girl, so he didn't do anything that drastic to you. It was more like...emotional warfare. He came to bed late, left early, and probably had only spoken two or three sentences to you recently. And they weren't exactly warm and fuzzy.

You didn't require much affection. You knew getting into this lifestyle you weren't going to get a boyfriend who brought you home roses and took you to nice restaurants. Those things didn't matter to you anyway. The only thing that did was him.

It was Friday evening at about 10pm when there was a light knock on your door.

"Come in?" You said hesitantly, confused who would be knocking on the door.

"Hey." Hoseok's voice rang out as he slid the door open.

"Oh, hey." You half smiled; it was really the best you had to give anyone these days.

"I hadn't seen you in a few days, I got nervous." He admitted sheepishly, standing in the door way.

"Yeah, I haven't wanted to be around anyone. Is Yoongi around?" You asked cautiously, though you knew the answer.

"He left around 7pm, saying he had to take care of something. Just took a couple guys and one of the cars." Hoseok shrugged, looking as defeated as you felt. He sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed next to you.

"Don't take it personally. I haven't seen him for more than five minutes in the 6 months." You replied.

"Wow, really?" Hoseok looked shocked. "I always figured you were his weak spot."

"I used to be, but I don't know whats happening. He doesn't speak to me, hell he doesn't even look at me if he sees me around the compound." You spat, clearly feeling the emotions you'd been shoving down rising up.

"You've never called it a compound before." Hoseok pointed out. Fine, technically it was a mansion. But it was the main base for the gang, as well as where you resided with Yoongi.

"I can't call it home. He's what makes it home. And he's not really here." You said. "I can't take it anymore."

If you were a crier you'd probably be crying, but this life had hardened you.

"I think I'm going to leave." You finally said.

"That's crazy, Y/N." Hoseok retorted, practically choking on his saliva.

"Is it? Would he even notice?" You replied, looking at him.

"Of course he would. And how would you even get out with all the guards? And where would you go?" Hoseok looked slightly panicked.

"Pretend you didn't talk to me tonight. You can't be liable for knowing information about me if I'm successful." You stated, standing up. "Just go."

Hoseok stood up with you, and stared at you hard for a few moments. "Don't do this to him."

"He's fine." You crossed your arms tightly.

"We both know he wouldn't be...It's just a phase." He tried to defend his best friend and boss.

"6 months isn't a phase! I was patient. The first few months, I figured he'd snap out of it. But it's been half a year. How much of my life am I supposed to spend being ignored by the man I love?" You asked softly, avoiding Hoseok's gaze.

Without another word, he nodded slightly and left your room. He couldn't bare the idea of saying goodbye and he was hoping you would calm down and change your mind.

You felt a moment of bravery after finally getting your feelings off your chest. You grabbed a bag out of the closet and starting shoving clothes into it. You couldn't think clearly on what you needed. You looked around the room frantically, trying to figure out what to take. Your head was so foggy with sadness and fear that you couldn't collect yourself enough to form a plan.

The door crashing open caused you to jump and drop the bag, spinning to face the bedroom door.

"Y/N." Yoongi said flatly, looking down at the bag.

You swallowed hard and couldn't find words to spit out. What were you going to say? You were caught red handed.

His eyes never left the bag.

"What are you doing?" He asked, low and stern. Still not meeting your eyes.

You started to stutter out an answer but he cut you off.

"You...were going to leave me?" His eyes snapped up to meet yours. He tilted his head to the side, and waited for an answer, no emotions on his face.

"Yes." You answered, regaining your composure. You straightened your shoulders and stared him down confidently. Now wasn't the time to come off weak.

To your surprise, he chuckled lightly. You watched him carefully.

He grabbed the picture frame off the table next to the door and threw it, the sound of the glass shattering made you jump.

"Yoongi..." You warned, trailing off.

"It's been almost three years, and you're going to leave over a rough patch?!" He shouted, and you were sure the whole compound could hear him.

"A rough patch!?" You yelled back, your fiery spirit matching his. "It's been 6 months! How long did you expect me to deal with this shit?"

"Deal with what?! You live comfortably. You don't have to work. You have more money then most people ever see in their life." He explained, exasperated, fists balled up at his sides.

"Well, I don't care about any of those things! All I wanted was you to love me!" You screamed at him.

He span around and punched the wall behind him. You heard a crack, presumably his knuckles, but he didn't falter. He leaned his forehead against the wall and punched it one more time. When he retracted it you could see the blood dripping down his fingers.

"All of this...because you think I don't love you?" He whispered. He turned around and there were tears in his eyes. You had never seen Yoongi cry. You don't think anyone had.

You swallowed all the mean things you had to spit out the moment you saw tears dripping down his cheeks.

"Why do you think I've been so absent? It's because I was failing, Y/N. I was failing you and everyone that relies on me. How could I face you when everything I promised could've been lost? I put my head down and went to work to preserve our future. I'm sorry that that was uncomfortable for you, even though I was the one risking my life day in and day out so some day I would be able to look you in the eye again!" He shouted, stepping towards you, grabbing your face with his hands. "Those were all things out of love for you, whether you're strong enough to acknowledge it or not." He growled, his face inches from yours.

You breathed out, locking eyes with him. "You could've included me! I would've been there for you." You exclaimed, wrapping your hands around his wrists and pulling them off your cheeks.

"I had to do a lot of dangerous things. You think I was going to put you in harms way just so you could feel needed?" He spat. "That's immature thinking. I did what I did to protect you. And if you hate me for that, that's fine. At least I know I kept you safe." He sighed in defeat, his tear stained face making your breath catch in your throat.

Everything about you wanted to be angry and stand your ground...

You opened your mouth to speak, but he beat you to it.

"Do you know what I'd have to do if I ever lost you?" He asked, stepping towards you once more, but keeping his hands to himself.

You hesitated before speaking. "...tell me."

He reached for your hand and took it in both hands.

"I'd have to destroy everything that reminded me of you. I'd burn this place down." He looked up at you, the connection you two had always had making itself known with a gravitational pull you couldn't resist. You took your free hand and grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him to you, crashing your lips together. He immediately responded, grabbing your face and deepening the kiss. Every emotion you felt in the last half of a year poured into the kiss. It was rough, needy, passionate. He pulled away and inhaled.

"Yoongi. You need to either live life with me by your side, or spend the rest of your life wondering where I am. I'm not asking you to drag me into every fight and drug deal. But you made me strong. You toughened me up. So embrace it, and let me be with you." You explained, hoping your words didn't fall on deaf ears.

He stared deeply in your eyes, before exhaling slowly.

"Fine." He agreed stubbornly. "You don't get to leave, then." He huffed, crossing his arms. You giggled, you knew you are the only one who ever saw him with his guard down.

He reached out a hand to you, and you obliged, giving him your hand. As soon as he did, he pulled you towards him and wrapped one arm around your waist, and the other hand resting on the back of your head.

"How did you know I was packing?" You asked into his chest.

"Hoseok is my best friend, not yours." His chest rumbled with a chuckle.

"Damn it."

[madphantom]

The Sound of Life: Chapter 3

Winslow left the hospital two weeks later and quickly realized that he had nothing to wear and nowhere to go.

"You can stay at my place," Phoenix suggested.

Getting out of the room without the mask was a challenge for Winslow, but the mask had been stolen and he knew he had to get used to the shocked looks he got from strangers. And Phoenix was holding his hand so firmly and smiling so gladly that he quickly stopped caring about the disturbed glances. Or at least, stopped caring as much as he had before.

Three days after Winslow got out they were sitting in Phoenix' kitchen. Winslow was wearing some clothes that had belonged to Phoenix' ex. He'd forgotten them when she'd thrown him out.

"What you need are some new clothes," Phoenix decided. "You can't run around in black leather forever, although, admittedly, it looks neat."

"You want me to go shopping?!"

"Sure, where's the problem?"

"Excuse me, but have you seen my face?!"

"Yes. So?"

She was serious. Winslow groaned. "Okay."

That afternoon Winslow went shopping. He returned with a bag of black clothes and Phoenix sighed. "You're an all new person then I guess?"

"Nope." Winslow giggled a little. "I just never had money for the clothes I liked before." He'd fixed his glasses as well and they were tinted now. Phoenix knew the new look was overly dramatic but so was Winslow, so she let it slip.

In the following weeks life became normal again. At night Winslow slept on the sofa. In the afternoon he and Phoenix took walks in Central Park. At some point Phoenix painted Winslow's nails black because she insisted it would "complete the look". The amount of money they'd earned with Faust was enormous and after a month they sat down together to discuss what to do with it.

"We could just quietly live here for the rest of our lives," Phoenix suggested. "Live in a flat, take walks in the afternoon." She hesitated. "But I think we both don't want that."

"You're right," Winslow replied. "What do you have in mind?"

"I want to block the negative wave Death Records sent into this generation. Like, positive vibes, man! That's what we need!"

"Positive vibes?"

"Hell yeah."

"You mean...?"

"I mean new music."

Winslow froze.

"Are you okay?", Phoenix asked.

"Uhm...ahum...yeah...I just..." Winslow swallowed hard. "I have an idea."

Half an hour later they made the first recording of a song called The Hell of it. It was a message to Swan.

Winslow called Harold, Archie and Jeffrey and gave them the shock of their lives due to the fact that he was still plugged in for singing. When he had plugged the voice box out he quickly realized the garbled voice was not the slightest bit understandable over the phone and finally it was Phoenix who had to explain the plan to the Fruits. She laughed the entire time.

The Fruits came running over to the small flat near Central Park.

"Jesus fucking Christ," Harold said when Winslow opened the door. "Please, for the love of God, don't ever scare me like that again."

"A call from my dead boss asking me whether I want to do the backing vocals for a new song was not what I expected," Jeffrey agreed.

Winslow laughed. "Okay, from now on I'll make sure to say This is not Swan whenever I call you."

"Do that," Archie said and everyone laughed.

They sat down at the piano to work at the song. It was dark when they were finished, but when the recording stopped they knew right away that this was going to be a hit.

"Awright then," Harold said when he noticed a soft pitter-patter against the window. "I gotta get home. Radio said it's gonna be stormy tonight."

"Aw hell, really? I didn't take an umbrella with me!"

"Don't worry, I've got loads of umbrellas, I can lend you one." Phoenix dived into her closet and reappeared with a red umbrella which she handed to Jeffrey. "Just make sure to give it back."

"Remind me of that next time, I'll probably forget it."

Phoenix laughed and the Fruits left.

The storm was worsening.

Late at night Phoenix heard a bloodcurdling scream. She jumped up in bed. It took her a few moments to realize that the inhuman sound had come from her living room.

Winslow.

She got up and hastily ran to the living room. "Winslow, are you okay?"

He was sitting in bed, wide-eyed. He made a sound that reminded her of a beaten dog. Then he nodded. Phoenix sighed in relief and sat down next to him. "What happened?"

He made a sound, realized he wasn't wearing the voice box, put it on and started talking.

"Sorry, I just...had a nightmare... something."

"Was it because of the storm?"

He hesitated, then he groaned. "Probably. There's no denying it. I'm scared of thunder because of Swan now."

Phoenix cuddled up to him. "We all have our weaknesses. And guess what?"

Winslow turned his head a little. "What?"

A loud crash rolled over the night sky and the couple shrieked.

"I'm scared of thunder too," Phoenix whispered and laughed shakily. "Different topic, so we don't pay attention to our greatest fear: Seriously, I'm so happy you survived. I guess I do owe you an apology. I should've listened to you earlier."

"Honestly, I don't blame you. I may have freaked out a little too much anyway." Winslow chuckled.

"You had a reason to, but, yeah, that may have been the reason I didn't recognize you. That and the make-up. I mean, I have trouble recognizing people with a haircut, let alone with that many changes. And I barely knew you anyway.

Winslow laughed. "Yeah, I should've thought about that." He paused. "But somehow Swan ended up dead and we ended up alive...wow, happy end."

"Happy end."