#yes this is about someone i went to high school with lmao

[talkinghead1968]

architects in their 20s post a picture of a century home on instagram and caption it "📝✏️" then they post floor plans of the ugliest fucking mcmansion you've ever seen

[thestoryofusstan]

Look Into His Angel Eyes

pairing: harry styles x zoologist!youtuber!reader

summary: harry takes his niece to the san diego zoo, and you just so happen to take care of the animal she’s obsessed with. koalas.

warnings: zero knowledge of zoology LMAO, not edited, a few curse words

—

harry had expected a lot more fuss when he went to a very famous, very popular zoo. he expected at least someone — one person! — to notice him or recognize him.

nobody had even given him a second glass.

those kids movies were right. change your har (put on a beanie) and wear sunglasses (because even if it was a little chilly, it was bright), and you were a whole different person!

well, until gemma’s little girl, rosie, who was usually a gem and the best kid ever, started crying. over what, you may ask?

she demanded they find the koalas.

granted, she was only five, but.. he was still worried people would see him and recognize him.

when he had graciously offered to drive rosie to san diego to go to the zoo because gemma simply didn’t have the time, he forgot it was a public, normal people zoo.

so, he asked someone where the koalas were (and then four more people after that on the way there, all of which informed him that he better hurry if he wanted to catch the koala talk, which was supposedly a big hit for some reason), and made his way to the other side of the zoo.

who the hell made this place so big?

—

you’d been living in san diego for five years, since you were eighteen. you’d been working with the koalas at the san diego zoo for that same amount of time.

18 and fresh out of high school, you moved far, far away from your horrible hometown and even more horrible people, and went to san diego to both go to college for zoology and work your dream job.

well, technically, it was an internship at first, but still!

like most little girls, you were obsessed with animals. however, instead of dogs or some other basic animal (though, koalas are still pretty basic, you suppose), you were obsessed with koalas. and then, it never went away.

your mother tried anything to talk you out of it, into a safer career path, she’d say. more secure.

well, fuck secure because you were about to go talk to little kids who were just like you when you were younger and feed a baby koala.

you had also started a successful side career as a youtuber. you made regular videos like vlogs and hauls and whatnot, and also educational videos about koalas. some of your vlogs were at work, such as today.

“so.. we have jess here to record as i do a koala talk. and.. it is officially 1:30, so let’s go!” you exclaim, handing your coworker, jess, the camera.

you pushed open the door (more like gate) and walked out. there was a fairly large crowd today, including the cutest little girl with a pink dress on right in the front row.

you set the crate (don’t yell, it’s a big crate. and it’s simply to take them from their exhibit to the talk area, which is a distance of maybe 50 feet) down on the wooden table.

the talk area was pretty much their enclosure, but instead of a glass wall, it was open and the kids could see better.

you opened the crate and slowly coaxed the bears out. you’d only brought two today. mila, and her baby charlotte (you always called her charlie, though).

once they were out and climbing on the branches, you turned to the crowd.

“hi, guys! my name is y/n, and i’m basically in charge of the koalas here! who here has been to one of my talks before?”

a few hands raise.

“good! well, today, we have a new guest… who remembers what was happening with mila last talk? was anyone there?”

one little boy raised his hand.

“yes, the.. little boy in a blue shirt?”

“jackson!” he told you.

“jackson, sorry. what was going on with mila? for everyone who doesn’t know, mila is that big one right there.”

“she was— she had a baby in her tummy.”

“she did!” you respond enthusiastically. “and a few months ago.. four months ago, actually, she had her baby! who wants to meet her?”

all the little kids screamed me! me! me!

you laughed, “alright, let me grab her.”

you walked over to mila, petting her head as you slowly took charlie away.

“hey, mila.. can i take her real quick?” you ask as if she can hear you, before speaking to the crowd. “mila and i have a special bond, if you ask me. she had her baby right around the time i had mine. so we are both new mothers,” you laugh. “but, anyway! i’ve been with mila since she got here, so she really trusts me. which is why i can easily just..”

you grabbed charlie off of mila, and put her on her shoulder like you did your baby.

“so, everyone, this is charlotte, but i call her charlie! now, i have a very special job for one of you.. but i need someone who will be very careful, because charlie is still a delicate baby.. can anyone hold her for me while i feed her?”

and finally, the adorable little girl interacted. she started jumping and raised her hand.

you walked over to the fence separating you from the crowd, crouching to be eye level with her. “and who might you be?”

“rosie!” she responded. and oh, she had a baby voice and she was british.

“rosie! well, do you think you can hold her for me?”

“yes! yes, please!”

“alright, we’ll get you and dad back here—“

“ehm.. uncle..” her uncle, not father, responded in a british accent.

“oh, sorry! you and your uncle back here. and what’s your name, rosie’s uncle?”

he hesitated, before— “harry.”

your brain slowly put two and two together as you glanced at his tattoos.

harry styles.

“oh, i see,” you respond, “well, let’s get you guys back here!”

you opened the gate they were thankfully standing right in front of, and they walked into the talking area before you shut the gate.

you led rosie to the center, crouching down to her again.

“alright, we’re gonna do this in a funny way. can you stick out your arm for me?”

she did.

“i’m gonna put charlie on your arm, alright? she’s gonna wrap herself around it, and her claws might scratch you, but it’s fine, yeah?”

“yes, ma’am!”

“aw, you’re so polite. alright.. charlie incoming!”

you slowly adjusted charlie to curl around rosie’s arm.

“it tickles!” she squeals with a laugh.

“yeah?” both you and harry — harry styles — respond at the same time.

“alright, i’m gonna grab her bottle! stay here!”

you ran over to grab it, and while you were shaking it so it was ready, you felt something wrap around your leg.

“hi, mila!” you exclaim to the koala wrapped around you.

you carefully walk back over.

“i’m gonna feed her for a minute, and then i’ll let you and your uncle try, yeah?”

“okay!”

you started feeding charlie as you spoke again.

“so, the reason we feed charlie instead of having her feed from her momma, who is clinging to my leg, is because charlie was born a little early and needs a little more nutrients!”

you talked a little more about koalas and their behavior before rosie wanted to feed her. and after a few minutes of that, you glanced to harry.

“you wanna give it a go?”

“sure, why not,” he shrugs.

“charlie seems pretty cozy.. so, i’ll give you mila. she’s a little heavy, though.”

you bent over and took mila off your leg, handing her over to harry.

“hold her like a baby on your hip.. it’s kinda like a.. odd hug! a koala hug, if you will. i’ll grab her bottle.”

you ran over, and when harry began feeding her after you returned, he asked a question.

“so.. why do y’feed mila? i know charlie’s a baby and all, but..”

“that’s a very good question! so, mila is getting a little old, and she was also brought to us injured. that, paired with giving birth four months ago, we just have to give her some more electrolytes… her bottle is actually just white gatorade. we tried green, but she hates it. she’s very picky.”

“well, that’s cause y’gave her green.”

“hey! who has the degree here? yeah, shush.”

“yes, ma’am,” he laughed.

—

once the talk was over, you told rosie and harry to stay back.

you let charlie and mila climb about the branches while you spoke to them.

“i just want to make sure you both are alright with being in a video.. also, you need to wash your hands.. jess should be back with the sanitizer soon.”

“can i ask what video?”

“oh! right, sorry. i’m a youtuber, and i sometimes film my talks to publish and whatnot. i’ll blur your faces, of course. i blur everyone in the crowd’s faces for privacy reasons, but i figured you’d be.. more.. concerned about that than most.”

“you know?”

“i mean.. voice is a giveaway.. i also follow gemma’s instagram, so i recognized rosie,” you shrug. “but anyways, you’re good with the video?”

“yeah, of course.”

you then turned to rosie to answer her bajillion questions about koalas until jess came back with the hand sanitizer.

“so, just use a lot of this, and you’ll be good,” you explain, putting a few pumps into each of their hands.

once they were all clean of koala germs, you told them they were free to go.

rosie ran forward, but harry lingered.

“thank you,”

“oh, yeah. of course. i figured you wouldn’t want koala germs—“

“no, i mean thanks for giving rosie that opportunity.”

“oh! of course. i love seeing little kids who love them as much as me.”

“she’s bloody obsessed with the things.”

“mm, yeah. they’re easy to love. word of advice, don’t shoot her love for them down. it doesn’t exactly work. i mean.. look at me,” you laugh.

“i will keep that in mind,” he smilez. “what was your name again?”

“y/n.. y/n l/n.”

—

a/n: enjoy

[milesmolasses]

I'm gonna kill you

miles morales x reader

if you don’t know what “throwing franks” means it basically means telling someone to “suck my dick” lmao

which reminds me the setting is nyc (bk)

is this what ppl call crack? idk man

"miles I'm not playin with you right now, put my water bottle down I'm thirsty!"

miles walked around the dingy restaurant, my bottle in his hand, which was waved high in the air. "you gon have to come and get it than miss smart mouth! you keep playin with me like I can't beat you up," he joked.

miles has been my best friend ever since the middle of third grade when he switched his elementary school. i remember when he was this tiny, shy kid who sat at the back of the school basement for lunchtime since our school never had a formal lunchroom. all i wanted was to make a new friend, so i walked up to the shy new boy and ate my lunch with him. we would walk home together, play at the park together, and have cute lil playdates scheduled by our mothers; ah, yes, those were the times; up until now.

"bro, my bad, just give me my water bottle my mouth is on fire, no funny shit," i had my tongue out, breathing heavily. my mom owns this restaurant, where she cooks (insert culture) dishes for the world of Brooklyn to enjoy. this space doubled as our hang-out spot, considering i would stop by every day after school for free food. my mom had served me (insert dish) with extra spice; "try something new," they said. "it'll be delicious," they said. while yes, the food was good, the new added spices had me steaming at the ears, tongue out, huffing and puffing like a damn dog.

now you may be wondering, "who the hell told you to do this?" miles. it was always miles. he knows I don't usually stray from the usual dishes that i get every time we come here, but somehow he convinced me that trying something new would be good for me. so, i let him order on my behalf; this dude ordered me (insert cultural food)… with 3x the amount of hot sauce I usually get. leading us to now...

"'my bad' is not an apology, bozo, i need to hear you say what i want you to say," he said with the biggest smile on his face. all i did was throw a frank at him, and he chose to torment me, saying, "i was disrespectful." he wants a sorry? imma give him a damn sorry.

"ok ok I'm sorry, miles please just give me the bottle," this time, my eyebrows were furrowed and i made sure to put my acting skills to the test. miles gave me a worried look, scared that he actually went too far this time in his games. he gave me back the water bottle and came closer to me, examining my face to see if i was ok.

"yo, you good? I'm sorry i didn't know it was that deep. here you go drink this," he looked so sorry. he looked like he really regretted what he did to me, it almost made me feel bad for what i was about to say to him.

almost...

"yeah, it was that deep... deep in ya momma!" i watched as miles face slowly converted from looking worried to "what did this bitch just say to me?" i started to run out of the store as fast as i could, chugging the water down my throat with my mouth still on fire. miles was definitely faster than me, so i decided to hide somewhere, anywhere.

i turned the corner, body jerking forward so fast i almost fell face first into the concrete. i caught myself on my hands just in time as i kept my momentum and ran down the block. i looked behind me and he was literally right there in arms reach of me literally, reaching his arm out to grab me. i grabbed the door handle of an unknown store and stumbled into it.

there i could see several women and young girls look up from what ever they were doing to look at me. just as they were looking at me, miles ran in the store and came to an abrupt stop. great now even more people were staring; it was then i realized all the assortments of nail polish laid out neatly on different shelves. oh my god it was a nail salon. miles looked down at me with eyes wide open and a look on his face that screamed "oh hell nah." a lady from the front desk with a slim figure and a headwrap, came up to us and pulled us to the side.

"I'm sorry, you cant just run into this store and be rowdy. we have customers to attend to and they don't need disturbances." i looked up at miles to see him already responding to the lady with prayer hands, "I an so sorry about my friend here please forgive them, sometimes they're a bit hard to control. i think we'll be leaving now, once again, so sorry," he responded whilst dragging me by the shirt to leave the salon. once we were on the side walk again, i busted out laughing so hard, i had to hunch over and close my eyes to keep tears from falling out.

miles gave me the biggest side eye known to man as i laughed in the middle of the street, looking around for people possibly staring at us.

"i swear to god I'm gonna kill you when i get to your house."

this was fun to write lmao

I was really just writing anything that came to mind

I did this once after 7th grade in the summer with some friends so that’s what I based this on

[sweatervest-obsessed]

Heyyy love ur work alot and this is my first time asking u but for ur 500 followers celebration could u do Spencer Reid and childhood friends fem!reader with heavy pining and " it's always been u" at the end hurt/comfort ?

omg slay yes. Done. (accidentally made it gn lmao)

“Oh my god Spence I can’t do this.”

“What?”

“I can’t—I can’t do it.”

“Hey, hey talk to me. What’s going on?”

“It’s all wrong. Everything is all wrong.”

Spencer listened to you ramble as he very calmly moved towards the door, trying not to alert anyone that anything was wrong. Of course, when you’re surrounded by friends and family, and a strong percentage of them are profilers, the statistics of one of them not noticing was very, very, very low.

“It’s okay.” He whispered, trying to calm you down over the phone, while trying to not attract attention.

He was lucky Hotch was the only one to notice him getting up. Spencer was almost lucky enough to have Hotch not notice he was on the phone, but the universe had other plans.

Spencer quickly slipped out the main doors of the church and into the hallway. Hotch was not far behind.

“Y/n. I need you to sit down and breathe okay? Open a window. Get some air—“ Spencer stopped talking when some patrons walked by him, smiling at them and waiting for them to be gone to continue calming you down.

“What’s wrong.”

Spencer turned and faced Hotch. He wasn’t even going to try and lie. There was simply no point in it. “We have a um…..”

Hotch nodded. “How much time do you need?”

“Five minutes max.” Spencer whispered.

The two men silently came to an agreement and one went back into the church while the other bounded up the steps.

Spencer knocked on the door, patiently waiting for you to answer them. He was surprised when you quickly yanked him inside and slammed the door shut so no one would notice it was open. Spencer decided not to point out that slamming doors was not the way to go if you didn’t want to attract attention.

“Want to—-“ Spencer stopped in his tracks. He couldn’t breathe.

You had literally taken Spencer’s breath away. Spencer had always thought that he would see you at the end of the aisle when you both were at your wedding. But even just seeing you now was enough to cause his heart to drop with grief.

You were breathtaking, and you weren’t his.

You and Spencer had known one another since he was five and you were six. Since you were older, you always knew better, even though Spencer was definitely the brains of your little operation.

The very first time Spencer saw you, he proposed to you with a rock, muttering something along the lines of a rock fact and what that rock had been through and eternity.

You said yes.

It was hard to be friends with someone who graduated high school and went to college when they were twelve years old. You knew Spencer wouldn’t forget you, but as the years passed by, it felt like he did. You only found him again on your first day in the FBI Academy.

To say you were shocked when you saw him in your line up the first morning you all had to run a mile in a minute, it didn’t even come close.

You two only got closer when you both were selected for the BAU, which wasn’t even on your radar until Spencer told you about it.

Somewhere down the line, you fell in love with him. With his smile. His brain. His never perfect hair. His facts. His glasses. His messenger bag. All of it. And you fell hard.

It didn’t take a room full of profilers to tell you that it was fairly obvious you love him.

But it didn’t seem to reach across the border with Spencer. He ended up making out with movie stars, falling in love with JJ, dating a woman who he only communicated with on the phone. It was never you.

The love you had for Spencer was palpable but you had no where to put it. So you did what you do best, you diverted your attention. Dated around. Kissed people at bars. Went on boring dates. Until you found someone who was kind, and respectful, and attractive. A distraction that ended up being someone you cared for deeply. Deeply enough to say yes when they proposed.

But now, that you were here, and completely dressed, fully made up, you were having cold feet. You couldn’t do it.

You wanted Spencer to be on the other end of the aisle and he wasn’t. You couldn’t picture anyone else when you looked down the aisle and it was killing you.

You looked up at Spencer, tear stained cheeks, puffy eyes.

Seeing you dressed like that, and not for him, was a stab in the gut. Repeatedly wrenching out his insides. Spencer shoved everything he had ever wanted to say down his throat. “Oh Y/n.” He whispered, walking over to you and pulling you into a hug.

“Talk to me.” Stab.

“What can I do?” Stab.

“How can I fix this.” Right through the heart.

“I-I can’t do it Spence…i don’t love—I’m not going to marry—-“

“Hey hey hey.” He kissed your head. “You are so strong and wonderful and you can—“

You shoved him away. “You’re not listening to me. I’m not—I can’t do it. I don’t love—“

“Yes you do.” Spencer swallowed the lump in his throat and continued. “You wouldn’t have said yes if you didn’t.”

“Yes—-but no. I don’t.” You huffed and cracked your knuckles (a nervous habit you had picked up from a certain SSA Morgan). “Not like that.” You looked down at your attire. “Not like this.”

Spencer stood there, watching as you worked it out. “Why.”

“Why?”

Spencer nodded. “Why aren’t you going through with it.”

You opened your mouth but no sound came out. Nothing. It was as if you had never spoken at all. You felt the words. They were on the tip of your tongue. Literally.

I’m in love with you Spencer Reid.

But they never made it past your lips. So you just looked like a fish out of water, mouth flopping open and closed.

“Y/n?”

“I-I have a reason it’s just…” you closed your eyes. “I love you.”

Spencer exhaled but responded. “I love you too but—-“

“No Spencer.” You cut him off. “I’m in love with you. I have been since you proposed to me with that stupid fucking rock that I still keep on my night stand. It is the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I see when I sleep at night. But I don’t want to see some stupid fossilized sand. I want you. I want to see your eyes every fucking morning. I want to make my espresso in the kitchen and have you tell me about ancient Mayan chiefs drinking it during major celebrations. I want to have someone to talk to about the books I read and the ones I don’t. I want someone to play chess with. I want to be able to lean over and kiss you whenever the fuck I want because I am all you Spencer. I have been yours. And I cannot picture anyone else on the other end of that aisle at my wedding. I can’t go through with it because it’s not you. I have been in love with you for as long as I can remember and it kills me that you don’t love me the same way. But I cannot get married today because I’m not saying my vows to you. I’m not swearing before our friends and family that I would not only lay down my life for you, but I would stay alive for you.”

Soencer was sure that the ceiling had a leak in it because it felt like he was just run over by a water fall. Completely drenched in your words and soaking them into his skin.

You wiped a tear away and shook your head. “That’s why I’m not getting married. And I get it if you don’t see me the same way but—-“

You had always imagined that Spencer’s lips would taste like, but strawberry chapstick was not one of them. His lips slotted perfectly into yours, with his hand on your cheek, and the other around your waist, pulling you flush against him.

You melted into his touch, made dumb by the fact that his lips were on yours.

Eventually, you needed air. You would have stood there all day with your lips locked with his. But you pulled away ever so slightly, forehead resting on his.

“It’s you.” You felt his lips brush against yours as his spoke, his breathe fanning across your lips. “It’s always been you.”

You smiled and pushed your lips against his.

No matter how the next few minutes of your life played out, it was all going to be okay, as long as you could keep your lips on Spencer’s, and he kept his lips on yours.

[persesphonestears]

More cod incorrect quotes

A/N: There is an obvious pattern cause I used a generator lmao anyway

C/W: uh swearing? i think thats it for once

Ghost: Favourite horror movie?

Soap: It

Price: Saw

Gaz: Annabelle

R/n: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics

-

Price: You're a loose cannon, Ghost.

Ghost: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

Soap: I think you play by your own rules.

Gaz: No way, they think rules were made to be broken.

Price: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.

Ghost: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. R/n is a loose cannon.

R/n: *smashes a chair*

-

Price: Good morning.

Ghost: Good morning.

Soap: Good morning.

Gaz: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

R/n: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS

-

Price: Where's Ghost, Soap, and Gaz?

R/n: They're playing hide and seek.

Price: Where?

R/n: I don't think you get how this game works.

-

Price: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Ghost: Several traffic violations.

Soap: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Gaz: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

R/n: Also, that’s not our car.

-

Price: Nothing in life is free.

Ghost: Love is free!

Soap: Adventure is free.

Gaz: Knowledge is free.

R/n: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

-

R/n: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.

Ghost: ... Your what?

R/n: My friends.

Price: Are they saying “friends”?

Gaz: I think they're being sarcastic.

Soap: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, R/n! All of your friends are in this room.

R/n: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.

-

Price: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Gaz: Rude.

Soap: That’s fair.

Ghost: Not again.

R/n: Are you going to want this back? Or can I keep it?

-

R/n: Is having a penis fun?

Ghost: It has its ups and downs.

Soap: Sometimes it’s a little hard.

Gaz: It’s a pain in the ass.

R/n: Oh, Jesus, fuck, guys, come on.

-

Gaz: That's it, we're gonna go out and find what we need!

Price: To the city?

Gaz: Yeah, no matter what!

R/n: Well- How exactly do you propose we do that, exactly?

Gaz: I... I don't know!

Ghost: Oh come off it, be serious!

Gaz: I am serious!

Ghost: You're insane!

Soap: Why, if only we were all wiener dogs, our problems would be solved!

Everyone:

Price: What???

Soap: Or maybe it was a basset hound!

R/n: no no maybe Soap is onto something..

Ghost, panicked: YOU'RE ALL INSANE!

-

Price: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what R/n will and will not eat.

Ghost: Grass? Yes!

Price: Moss? Yes!!

Ghost: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Price: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Ghost: Worms? Sometimes!

Price: Rocks? Usually not.

Ghost: Twigs? Usually!

Price: Soap's cooking? Inconclusive!

Gaz: How did you… test this?

Price: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it.

Gaz: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Soap: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

-

Price: Are we really going to let R/n keep the cat?

Gaz: Hey we kept R/n.

-

Price: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?

Ghost: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.

Price: Three of us saw it, Ghost. How do you explain that?

Ghost: *points at Soap* Sleep deprivation. *points at Gaz* Paranoia. *points at R/n* Delusional personality disorder.

-

Price, trying to convince R/n to join the task force: You know... I thought it'd be good to have someone alongside us who's really... smart!

Gaz: And loud!

Soap: And grumpy!

Ghost: And oblivious to reality

R/n:

-

Price: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!

Gaz: Tubular AF!

Soap: Mood to the max!

Ghost, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.

R/n, just as annoyed: If she breathes, she’s a square.

Price: Tf

-

Price: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Ghost: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years

Soap: Oh wow, my innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Gaz: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

R/n: My entire childhood and happiness, is that you?

Price:

Price: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

-

Price: What does 'take out' mean?

Soap: Food

Gaz: Dating

Ghost: Murder.

R/n: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A LIL BITCH.

-

Price: Anyone d-

Ghost: Depressed?

Gaz: Drained?

Soap: Dumb?

R/n: Done with life?

Price: -done with their work... need to get Laswell to get you all therapy …

-

Price: So uhhh... question: my ‘friend’ keeps on going into the pantry and grabbing handfuls of fettuccine... uncooked...

Gaz: I would hope they're not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine!

Soap: In your pantry!

Price: Yeah... and eating them raw, and they keep calling them 'chips'. ... How do I make them stop?

Ghost: Is your friend here?

Price, motioning to R/n: Yeah.

Gaz, to R/n: You're a monster! Words MEAN things! >:(

Soap: Does anybody remember- I haven't been to Olive Garden in many moons- but they DO have a like- fettuccine bottle that you can just- grab em out of and chew-

Soap: HOLD ON. WAS THIS A PRANK YOU GUYS PULLED ON ME WHEN WE WENT TO OLIVE GARDEN AFTER THAT MISSION?!

Soap: NO, STOP. EVERYBODY SHUT UP. DO THEY GIVE YOU RAW FETTUCCINE TO CHEW ON IN THE LOBBY OF THE OLIVE GARDEN

Everyone else: No.

Soap, to Gaz and R/n: YOU FUCKIN BASTARDS

Gaz: YAAAAAAAAY!

R/n: THE PRESTIGE!

-

Price: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Gaz: 'Prettiest Smile'

Soap: 'Nicest Personality'

Ghost: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

R/n: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

-

Price: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Soap: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies

R/n: Socks are Feetie Heaties

Gaz: Forks are Stabby Grabbies

Soap: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties

R/n: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies

Gaz: Stamps are Lickie Stickies

Ghost, annoyed: You are disappointments

Price to Ghost: You agreed to join the team.

-

Soap: I’m an idiot.

Ghost:

Price:

Gaz:

R/n:

Soap:

R/n: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

This stupid long omg, uh anyway I used a incorrect quote generator cause I'm lazy but edited most of them so the make some more sense :>

[sugarmouchie]

hello valentine! how are you? i hope life is being kind to you! i heard that your request is open, so i try to send something :D hopefully this isn't too much!

may i request haitham with inazuman fem!reader? let's say they met because she's pursuing education in akademiya. once she graduates, she spends some times working in sumeru. but of course, one day she need to go back to inazuma again. how are their long distant relationship look like? do he visit her sometimes? bonus point if she's the opposite of him, like emotional and sunshine type person (but not as loud as kaveh! no shade to him tho, i lobe him xD). of course you can adjust this request as much as you want~ no pressure at all xD

i think that's it! i'm sorry if i make grammarical mistakes or anything, english is not my mother tounge. but still, thanks in advance, dear valentine! 💖

a/n. so sorry this took a while to get to :') im trying my best to catch up with my inbox i promise, other than that,, thank you for the request anon! <3 i’m sick but i’m getting better !! :)

cw. fem!reader, reader is from inazuma, a bit of angst in the beginning (?), mentions of scara (my beloved), cyno, tighnari, kaveh and other characters, i got sorta lazy at the end LOL this was just supposed to be a little time after time fic ig? if that makes any sense like something happens then another thing happens i guess? idk LMAO

"you realize i won't be able to stay for long, right?" your weary voice catches onto his ears when you begin to speak.

with a facepalm, alhaitham replies, "of course, kaveh’s coming home soon so you’d have to go," alhaitham replies, to which you chuckled about.

"well," you pause, "that's not what i meant."

"haitham! stop rummaging through my papers!" you squeak when he attempts to help you, mentally face palming yourself.

"[name]," he looks at you, "people like to help each other, everyone's gotta help someone else some day."

ah, here he goes again.

you giggle.

"okay, okay," you roll your eyes in a playful manner, "well, go check up on kaveh, he's practically screaming your name at this point."

"i'd rather stay here with you," he interrupts.

does he know what will happen?

those words sent shivers down your spine.

yes, you two were in a healthy, established relationship, but what he does not know is that you took his words a completely different way.

all of a sudden, you hear someone walking over to the two of you, alhaitham right beside you instantly assuming it was kaveh.

"hey, you kids gotta go, the bell rang already."

...apparently not.

"stop thinking so hard about it [name]," alhaitham interrupts your train of thought.

"nothing's gonna happen either way, you do realize that if you don't get into [desired career], then there's multiple other options you have in here. we went here for a reason, right?"

...ah, his smart self always seemed to cheer you up, always enough to get rid of every thought in your brain possible, just like when he comforted you when you were panicking about what seemed like fifty different school assignments back in high school.

...

"let me help you," alhaitham spoke, instantly swiping the papers out of your hands.

"but-!?" you insist, but not quick enough since alhaitham was already looking for his glasses, the ones that kaveh gave him since he changed careers in high school.

"no 'but's," he interrupted you once more, your insists practically flying out of the already freezing cold window that was still going because of how hot it was inside your apartment.

...

back in the present time, he was tapping on the side of your head like it was a solid rock, but trying his best to be careful with you.

"you always zone out," alhaitham starts once more, interrupting your train of thought once more.

"and you always interrupt me," you roll your eyes, scoffing at him.

"you didn't even say anything though."

after you and alhaitham’s graduation, you’d decided that you would work in sumeru, with the special occasions of helping out alhaitham too.

"cyno! stop kicking sand onto me!" you laughed, trying not to get sand in your eyes as you were cleaning up the eremites' base.

“where’s tighnari?” you suddenly ask.

"he's on his way, he was dehydrated not too long ago until scaramouche gave him water," he replied, thinking back to the time he had to hand over the water that scaramouche gave him to tighnari who could barely even stand, breathing heavier than usual.

after that, he knew tighnari would take longer than expected to come visit both of you.

scaramouche, having just obtained the crown and lost it, he was more unmotivated than usual so you all knew that he wasn't going to come, considering how stubborn he was and how he refused requests almost all the time.

...and of course, kaveh was stressed out again.

after months and months, here you were, wking on the streets of inazuma with none other than kaveh, alhaitham’s stubborn roommate.

“do you know when you’ll be able to go back to sumeru?” kaveh suddenly asks you, to which you whipped your head to the left to look at him.

“erm… well, i did tell him that i’d have to leave one day but,” you paused, “he didn’t… understand.”

“what do you mean?” kaveh questioned with a gasp to which you let out a small laugh about.

“well, i told him a year ago that one day i’d have to leave and he instantly thought it was about you coming over so i would have to leave,” you replied, trying your best to explain to alhaitham’s blonde friend.

“well i guess that’s just how life works,” kaveh sighed, trying to attempt an emotional facade.

you laughed again.

…

ever since that day, you’ve met some people along the way of your journey back in your hometown, inazuma.

the summer shade of inazuma under certain sakura trees caught your attention when you were walking with ayaka.

the sight reminded you of how things would go downhill but alhaitham was always there with you.

the shade representing your emotions, and the petals representing alhaitham being by your side.

you thought it was cheesy, letting out a small giggle from it to which ayaka questioned you about.

she was the girl who had always thought you were different from any other person in inazuma, since you’ve never told her that you were previously in sumeru for a long period of time.

you looked over to her, your view meeting her confused face.

“…ayaka, i’m fine,” your weary tone of voice spoke.

“…right.”

…

and ever since that day, you and alhaitham always called over any devices that ayaka and thoma made for you.

thoma, having always practiced forging with ayato, has taken a very long time trying to make certain souvenirs for you and other trinkets.

you could never thank him enough for the device that he made for you in order to call alhaitham.

however, you never told thoma that you were in a relationship with a man from sumeru.

…

so when you told him, he was shocked.

to say the least.

…

“AND YOU NEVER TOLD US THAT PART!?” he practically screamed.

“…”

“i knew you would act like this,” ayato came up from behind.

and well, so in conclusion, you and alhaitham’s relationship was… pretty much perfect!

the only downside was that you could never find ways to convince ayato to drive you back to sumeru, but you had your ways to convince him.

“alhaitham, hi!” thoma yelled, seeing his camera on screen from a few meters away behind you.

“THOMA—“

@sugarmouchie do not copy/translate/repost on other platforms please and thank uu 🤍

[ye4gerism]

Bachelorette season is starting up again! Y/N L/N is the new stunning face of the Bachelorette and so far the viewers feel that she’s favorable.

Of course, the honeymoon phase of the show will decrease episode by episode and someone is bound to crack really soon.

INTO THE LIVES OF THE BOYS: exclusive interviews with the eight remaining contestants

“What are you looking for in a partner?”

COLT GRICE: i’m honestly looking for someone who is willing to go through the ups and downs of life with me. i know that sounds basic but trust me, i know what it’s like to watch a marriage fall apart because one person wasn’t committed enough.

EREN YEAGER: you know, when i think of a partner, i think of someone i can jump out of a plane with. my partner and i should be able to feel the “breeze” of marriage and overcome everything together

“Do you have any past relationships?”

OYANKOPON: who hasn’t? i hope this isn’t some sort of trick question. there was a person i thought i’d marry but an unforeseen event helped me understand that they weren’t for me.

JEAN KIRSTEIN: oh yeah…too many. i was kind of a player in high school and i screwed around a lot in college but as i’ve gotten older, i realized that i want a family and a future.

“Eren you and Zeke look oddly alike. Why is that?”

EREN YEAGER: really? that blonde mop? i don’t really see it.

“What is your guilty pleasure?”

ARMIN ARLERT: i’m sort of into conspiracy theories. sometimes i feel bad because as bizarre as some are, they’re kind of believable.

PORCO GALLIARD: i won’t lie; i love ordering in. i eat healthy and everything yes but, boy, don’t i love sitting on my couch on a friday night and eating my favorite that just got delivered to me.

“How do you like to spend your free time?

CONNIE SPRINGER: i personally love spending time with my two younger siblings. i love living life through them.

REINER BRAUN: my niece is the funniest person i know. since the moment she was born, she’s brought a smile to my face. i love spending my free time with her!

A LITTLE BIRDIE TOLD ME…: dirt on the cast

“Rumor has it one of the contestants has a wife.”

We wouldn’t be surprised. 10 handsome men enter the show and none of them are married? That’s a little suspicious don’t you think? Colt and Reiner are definitely hubby material.

“Eren is passed around like a football 😞”

With those green eyes, the ladies are probably all over him…and he’s probably all over them too. You didn’t hear it from us though.”

“Jean and Eren don‘t get along”

An insider told us the two were throwing looks at each other. It probably has something to do with Eren stealing Jean’s girlfriend in highschool.

“I heard that jean and eren went to high school tg and that eren stole jean’s long term gf”

What did we say?

“Zeke has a crush on Y/N”

we have a crush on y/n too!

“Zeke has daddy kink”

Oh!😀

“I heard y/n f*cked zeke to get on the show”

Are we talking about the right Zeke?

“yn is just gonna be playing all the guys, she's there for vibes”

We love a good feminist! Why be on a show for marriage when you can be a show to play men? We love it.

That’s all for now! Tune in next week for more juicy details!

i didn’t hit all questions but i will use them next week’s post! some of these answers made me laugh lmao😭 imagine zeke falling for you (UNLESS👁️). i’ll definitely incorporate some of these rumors into the story :). i also forgot to introduce hitch and pieck, so i’ll try and integrate them into the next few chapters!

if you would like to vote again, press here. you don’t have to answer the written answer questions if you have already! just let me know that you’ve already answered! i’ll probably close the poll tmrw so i can finish up the chapter :)

tysm again for reading the bachelorette!

taglist: @katestrophes @taylarxse @invisible-mori @tanakaslastbraincell @mrsharuchiyo @parkerluvsu @conniesbbymama @444ctrl @gabbadabbad00 @cvberidiot @maliagurl @greeniegreengreen @teanica @illgrrl @asymetricstar @llovesero @haitainiwhore3 @durag_tanaka

[heathersproship]

I WENT AND SAW MEAN GIRLS YESTERDAY

Went in with low expectations, but hoping to like it. Listened to some of the soundtrack a few days ago and wasn’t exactly impressed. But I didn’t blame the rearrangements—not entirely. Some of it was questionable, but maybe it’d be like with NPMD where I’d like it more when I had the visuals to go with it (I vastly prefer The Summoning live, and also High School is Killing Me, rather than the studio audio). And for the most part, I was right! I had a nice time.

See below the cut for my thoughts on the songs, other details, and some Janis analysis.

First Things First

We started off strong with the garage setup and Cautionary Tale. The vertical screen on a horizontal one doesn’t bother me, so I love the whole bit with the phone, and Janis plays guitar!

What Ifs was a song I didn’t listen to beforehand, and I understood most of it til Cady got to school. Then I had no idea what she was saying, either because the music was too loud or she was singing too softly, or both.

Meet the Plastics (though really it’s just Meet Regina) was good. Loved the lights flickering and Regina’s hypnotic voice like a siren luring the unsuspecting Cady in. Or an anglerfish.

Stupid With Love was actually not that bad... in the first half. Once we were out of the classroom, it fell off for me. I suppose they were going for a dreamy walking-on-air cloud nine “too in your own little world to notice the world around you” vibe, especially at the very end, but Angourie’s soft vocals didn’t do it for me. I expected a burst of energy since they’re outside and have the freedom to move and be loud with it.

Apex Predator was beautiful visually. Musically, I’m still not sure what to make of Damian singing Cady’s lines when they were about Janis. It’s strange. Couldn’t even have her think them? Record Angourie in a booth to get a feel for how big she can go, play it over a few shots of Cady’s face or the scene in front of them, Cady looking at Janis as she secretly compares Janis and Regina while Janis and Damian are warning her about Regina? No?

The build-up to What’s Wrong With Me was good—love the usage of the music box—though the song itself was a bit awkward. It’s sad all the same though, and that’s the point.

Sexy was good. Blink and you’ll miss the Easter egg.

Someone Gets Hurt was visually stunning. My one gripe is that Aaron has ONE line. Just one. And he doesn’t even sing it because the actor just doesn’t sing (did they hire him for his looks? The fact that he was in TSITP, which I haven’t seen? Why hire someone who doesn’t/can’t sing... for a musical??). Couldn’t they get someone to dub him? It’s just one line. Was that too much to ask? Disguise Damian’s voice if you have to. Giving it to Regina was certainly a choice they made.

Revenge Party was a fucking banger. It’s so fun and hella camp, and I love that they reinstated one of the OG verses (two if you recognize the piñata line from another verse). Also like how the “yes, bitch!” line was also back, unlike in the Broadway recording, though I don’t think that exchange needed to happen twice. I love Janis just loudly popping up with “And ugly crying!” during the bit with the sprinklers like girl shut up you’ll blow your cover! But then there was also that weirdass decision to have it go handheld when Cady goes to get the candy cane. Did not like that, what the hell was that?

Damian singing the iCarly theme in French lmao okay sure.

Someone Gets Hurt Reprise was just as good as the original, I love it. My only nitpick is the wording. “Obsessed” rather than “in love with” though that might have something to do with the doll.

World Burn was epic. Except... okay. Regina waltzed right into school with the Burn Book in hand. What if someone saw her? And then her just deliberately dropping and leaving it on the floor. And people really walked past it before someone finally picked it up? Really? The payoff is excellent, just the setup was... questionable.

Now that I’ve seen it, I definitely like this version of I’d Rather Be Me a lot more than I did before. Especially how it ends. (Though Barrett is still bae.) There’s possibly an allusion to the music video with the running in the halls and going about the school. But my God, Auli’i fucking did that! And again, very glad they kept the curse in the OST.

If that was a reprise of Stupid with Love... here’s an idea: just stop. The horse is already dead.

I See Stars was? Fine? Tbh I don’t really remember it. Probably because the girl who doesn’t go there takes over halfway though. Way to pull your weight, Cady. Angourie did well for some things, but singing really isn’t her strong suit. Again, why hire actors who don’t have the range for a musical?

Other things:

I love that Janis does embroidery here. It just fits.

Did not like the sanitization. How can this be Mean Girls without one mention of “social suicide”? You can keep the bouncing boobs thing and blatantly asking if Cady wants to have sex with Jason, but the band geeks are “corny-horny” and not “sexually active”?

Heyy Ashley Park!

Cady scaring the shit out of Janis and Damian will never not be funny. They were even watching the same scene of the same movie!

I was really hoping to get a flashback of Regina and Janis, with Janis actually burning the doll, rather than Damian acting it out with the toys. Or at the very least, a shot of Regina’s backpack on fire (that would’ve been a great teaser image). So we can get an idea of what Janis was like before, if she went along with the fashion rules like “pink on Wednesdays” or if she was always a little off-beat and Regina pushed her further into it. Maybe even see if she was the queen bee as some people believe was the case back in the day.

Love the bit with music people in the tree and Janis telling them to stop lmao. I love when they do things like that.

Analysis:

So one of the main differences between this Janis and her predecessors is that once this Janis gets to a certain point, she’s satisfied and actually wants to stop so she and her friends can just enjoy their time together rather than asking Cady to take a single night off before, presumably, letting it go on longer. This makes the party betrayal hurt worse when Cady says she wants one more lunch with the Plastics, as it looks like she made the active choice to trade up rather than just forgetting about Janis and Damian in her attempt to ensnare Aaron. Janis’ satisfaction also makes her singing IRBM more justified than in the musical because the movie took away a crucial aspect of her character which made her a Mean Girl to begin with: her anger.

This iteration of Janis just doesn’t have the same level of pure rage that drives her the way Regina does—rage which made them two sides of the same coin—because in this version, Janis is actually gay. The whole conflict in the original was Regina labeling Janis as something she wasn’t, and 2004 being a more homophobic time in history was how it was able to fly. In the 2018 musical, when that was no longer the case, they had to add in another layer with Regina pretending the issue was that Janis couldn’t accept she wasn’t one of the six people invited to her birthday party, before revealing the real issue was the same as the first: Regina pushing a label onto Janis (though Barrett says she played Janis as a lesbian, this was not explicitly confirmed nor acknowledged within the show itself, and is therefore no more canon than Regina being queer because Renee Rapp says so, closeted or not). With Janis being canonically queer here, this takes all the power out of Regina labeling her a lesbian in the first place because yes, yes she is, and? Rather than the problem being about the label, now the problem became Janis’ reaction to the bullying that ensued.

While she had to leave school due to how bad the bullying was in all versions previously (frozen out in the original—according to Regina she dropped out; and having “space dyke” Sharpied on her locker in the musical—according to Damian her parents pulled her out) this is the only time we know of where she retaliated. By burning the plush (and also Regina’s backpack) with a Bunsen burner. Her own actions resulted in her getting kicked out rather than being forced out by circumstances beyond her control, and the choice to do it this way shows that a) while what happened to her was more insidious, she’s also slightly less of a victim than her predecessors, and b) she knows better than anyone actions have consequences—a line of dialogue explicitly absent in the movie’s opening number. She was content to stop where they were at, quit while they’re ahead, because her desire for revenge was satiated and she was ready to move on. Have lunch with Cady and hang out like they always meant to. She’s no longer a Mean Girl. While there was an injustice done upon her, she’s not so scarred by it she’s letting her rage get the better of her to the point it spirals out of control. She was ready and willing to stop. But Cady wasn’t.

And I don’t know how to feel about that.

I think that’s it.

[theold-ultraviolence]

Valentine's tag game 💗

me? finally doing a tag game? FINALLY! thank you for the besties that keep on tagging me in these things even though lately my mind has been all over the place and I forget to do them. But since it's vday, I figured! thank you for the tag @ripdragonbeans <3333

The most painful love crush/disappointment in life?

My crush on my childhood friend. We had been together in school since kindergarten all the way to high school, and we even went to the same university, just different faculties. It was one of those cases where you realize you have a crush on them when they're gone, and by then it's too late!

What was your first real date like/what do you imagine your first real date like?

I honestly don't consider the dates I've been on actual dates ughhh, so I can't say. And at this point, I can't even imagine what an actual, proper first date would be like honestly, I'm becoming a cynic and a hermit, not a good combo 😅

What would be the most awkward situation for you on a date/has happened to you while dating?

I have two funny stories: When this dude wanted to come across all suave and shit and invited me to the movies, and he said he was gonna pay for our tickets with a coupon. We get there and the coupon WASN'T VALID ANYMORE since like two years prior lmao, so I had to pay. And it was just so awkward.

And then, when I was in Canada, this dude invited me to this cafe where you play board games and stuff, and he was getting visibly annoyed that I was winning all the games. But what was worse about that one, is that I was administering my money very carefully cause I was abroad, and this guy KNEW. And he didn't tell me that you had to pay a fee to be able to play the board games. So when the bill arrived I was JUST FLOORED because, "Why am I paying 16 dollars when I only bought myself a $4 coffee????" I was so pissed.

What was your first kiss like/what do you imagine your first kiss to be like?

Haven't had my first kiss, and my cynical ass can't even imagine it anymore

Do you have any sexual quirks that others would find strange/is there anything you would never do when it comes to sex?

.......................so nothing unconventional I suppose? really into dom/sub dynamics, but I guess an unconventional thing was, I was listening to an audio the other day that involved "puppy play" and I was like OHHH 😳 yes please call me a naughty little puppy when you're dominating me

As for things I wouldn't do, nothing gross like a piss kink, and definitely not cnc.

Kinkiest thing you've done/could do with a partner?

Haven't actually had sex but the idea of using a double-ended dildo is something I think about constantly............................

The most romantic thing ever?

Someone making you a playlist!

no pressure tags: @starlightsearches @moongirldreamer @waywardrose @thembohux @itsaconquestofimagination @arcielee @moonchildrenandflowercrowns and anyone else that wants to do this! <3

[kimbapisnotsushi]

so people are super invested in who the nonrich kids are for all the rich school teams from this post so like. let’s get it i guess!!

seijoh: y'all already know!!! fucking yahaba shigeru!!! it's why he's got such an attitude about things!! he's a middle child AND he's sick of the rich kids' bullshit!! like idk i feel like on the first day of school a lot of yahaba's classmates think he's like them bc he seems so ~shallow~ and ~preppy~ but then he instigates violence within the first ten minutes of class (WITH A GOOD JUSTIFIABLE REASON) and everyone is like "what the fuck".

(i have my thoughts about kyoutani being a nonrich kid too bc like. i do love them being the nonrich power couple of seijoh who are just so ready to FIGHT anyone who talks shit otherwise but also??? kyoutani coming from a rich stuffy family?? that punk ass?? that'd be HILARIOUS)

shiratorizawa: SHIRABU SHIRABU SHIRABU. unlike yahaba he makes his disgust known loud and proud. every time a rich kid tries to come for him he's like "absolutely the fuck not" and RIPS them apart so bad not even all their money could pay for enough therapy sessions to fix the damage. he knows goshiki means well but goddamn does he want to bop that kid on the head sometimes. (i also like the idea of shirabu and kawanishi bonding over being the nonrich kids but also??? kawanishi being like SUPER weird BC he grew up wealthy and exasperated but fond shirabu??? i LOVE that shit)

fukurodani: tbh. i really really like konoha as the nonrich kid for fukurodani. like "mr. jack-of-all-trades" yeah of fucking course he seems like he can do every single little thing compared to everyone who just. HIRES people to do shit for them or buy whatever they need. konoha knows how to use duct tape in a hundred different ways while his classmates are just like. tossing easily fixable headphones and sunglasses out every time they break and buying new ones every single time. (also. yes this follows the snarky nonrich kid and weird rich kid. konoaka my beloved.)

itachiyama: look i know we only have three of them BUT. the sheer HILARITY and the HONOR of it being the CAPTAIN, iizuna tsukasa??? i think both sakusa and komori are rich and being cousins they get into the weirdest most trivial spats that iizuna has to sort out. like sakusa is yelling at komori bc "YOU SPILLED CAPRISUN ON MY BALENCIAGA" and komori is all "THEY WERE UGLY ANYWAYS JUST BUY A NEW PAIR" and iizuna is like. "wtf. guys. like honestly fuck the both of you we have PRACTICE right now come ON"

inarizaki: SUNA. IT HAS TO BE SUNA. kid who came all the way across the prefecture to an elite school where he doesn't know anyone or anything? a school where presumably most of the rich students have known each for YEARS bc they went to the adjacent middle school together? yeah there's going to be SO much bullshit when suna gets to inarizaki and hjsgbdkhd it makes me hurt just THINKING about it. like okay yeah all of these types of schools are ruthless but suna is such an easy target because he really doesn't have anyone here y'know?? (that's a lie, of course. he has the team. and that's enough.)

kamomedai: i didn't cover them in the og post but like. kamomedai is DEFINITELY rich. like. how the fuck else do you nab someone who coached pro to teach a bunch of high school kids??? and keeping in mind with what we already know of hoshiumi and hirugami . . . i'd really like for it to be hakuba LMAO. like, we know he isn'tas good and just started playing in high school, so there's probably a roadblock somewhere that makes him feel like he isn't catching up to the others as fast as he'd like, but really he just never had the resources they always had bc of their money!! i'd also really like liam to be one of the nonrich kids too, bc then he and hakuba would have some cute senior-junior bonding moments

mujinazaka: usuri. no explanation needed.

[t-h-i-n-g]

I’m on my hands and knees begging for some eddie Munson hurt/comfort. I will pay you. Please 💳💥💳💥

What Happens?

a/n: hand over the card🤲. jk jk- unless 🤨 lmao. I did this in the span on an hour while needing sleep so sorry if it seems rushed in some places. I hope you enjoy though!! I think it turned out alright :) this is my first time doing hurt/comfort so if it’s not what you were expecting, let me know!! feedback is always accepted.

word count: 1.6k

summary: Eddie finally meets your parents and let's just say he is not what they expected…

Warnings: hurt/comfort, swearing, dad's a douche ngl, if I missed any let me know!!

st - masterlist m.masterlist

You had it all planned out. Both of your parents would be home by 6:00. You changed into some casual attire for the occasion. Not too fancy just something better then what you usually wore at this time. Dinner would be ready when they walked through the door. Just the table needing to be set. Eddie would walk in at 6:15 on the dot. Not a minute later, not a minute sooner he assured you.

Your plan was fool proof everything was perfect. The food was prepared, the four plates laid out on the tablecloth each one complimented with silverware on the side, your parents sat across from the two empty chairs where you and Eddie would be sitting. You looked at the clock as it struck 6:15 on the dot. The doorbell rang thought the house. This just couldn't go wrong.

…Of course until it did.

You went to open the door. Looking over your shoulder at the duo on your way.

"He really is a great guy. You'll love him," you stated smiling at them. You put a hand on the knob turning and pulling the door open to reveal a bouquet of flowers. Eddie's head popped out from behind it. A smile adorning his features.

"Hi," he greeted in a soft voice stepping into the house as you motioned for him to come in.

"Make sure you take off your shoes, Mom hates dirt in the house," you explained briefly, looking around the corner to see your parents. Who were waiting patiently to meet the guy of the hour. You held a finger up signaling that it would be just a moment. Turning back to Eddie you took in his attire. He was in a pair of blue jeans, ditching his usual chains, his chest was clad in a dark green button up, his hands ring less. You frowned slightly, "You didn't have to get all dolled up. I want them to meet you, not someone who you're portraying," you told him in a quite tone. He gave you another smile, reassuring you.

"They'll meet me, honey. Don't worry 'bout it," his voice was just as soft as before. He placed a light kiss to your temple before stepping out to reveal himself. A light gasp was heard from the otherwise silent room. Your mother's eyes were wide as she tried to bring herself to smile. Your father on the other hand not making the effort, his brows scrunching together. You nervously fidgeted with your hands. Deciding to break the awkward silence.

"This is Eddie." It was a simple statement, but enough to get rid of some tension. Eddie waved uneasily with a hand, the other holding out the flowers to your mother as he approached the table. She took a moment to responded. Finally deciding to stand and take the flowers with a polite thank you. She went to the kitchen to find a vase as you sat down. Motioning for Eddie to follow. Hesitantly he sat across from your father. He held out a hand to the man.

"Nice to meet you, sir. I've heard a lot about you."

"Wish I could say the same," your father told him, briefly shaking Eddie's hand before bringing it back to his side. You're mother entered back into the room.

"Now that's not true, hon. We've heard a whole bunch about you, Eddie. Y/n says that your still in school, is that right?" The man in question nodded as she sat down.

"Yes, I haven't been able to really find my way out of high school yet. This year will be different though. Y/n has been helping me study and keep my head above water so I'll for sure graduate."

"Did you say that last year too?" your dad muttered while taking a drink from his cup. Your jaw dropped.

"Dad!" you exclaimed at his audacity. He shrugged his shoulders.

"What? I'm just saying, when you said his name was Eddie and he was still in school, I didn't know you meant Eddie Munson. The guy who has failed to pass twice," he stated simply.

"Still you don't have to be rude about," you informed him. "You didn't graduate senior year your first time either."

"Yeah well It didn't take me three tries either."

"No, it's okay I get it," Eddie stated before you got a chance to respond, "You want a guy that's in the best shape for your daughter I get that. And let me just say I’m in the best shape that I've been for a while, Y/n’s helped me a lot with that-"

"So your best shape includes being unemployed and as you said 'holding yourself just above water,' that's the best shape your in?" your dad asked. His tone sharp and his face hard. It was your mother's turn to react, slapping your father's arm lightly at his comment. He looked at her. "I don't know about you, but I sure as hell wasn't expecting the town's Satanist to show up for dinner tonight and I'm not going to stand for it."

"Can you please just calm down for a minute. The poor boy hasn't even let out five sentences-"

"Poor is right. Living in his uncle's trailer and doing who knows what in there. I went to school with Wayne and no way am I having any child he looked after seeing my daughter-" Eddie stood up quickly, heading for the door without a word. You followed after him as he to went to put on his boots, stumbling in the process. You protested, saying he should just wait, that you'll talk to your dad and that he just was shocked Eddie was the one you were seeing. He wasn't like any of your past boyfriends. Eddie looked up at you with a pained smile.

"You're right I'm not, so maybe that a sign. Maybe I shouldn't be your boyfriend, Y/n. I'm sure your dad would be happy with that." Your jaw went slack as tears glazed over your eyes.

"Wait, hold on, you don't- you don't mean that," you called to him as he opened the door and made his exit. "Eddie, please." Your voice shook, he stopped in his place, already halfway down your side walk. "Give me a few minutes. I'll talk to them I swear. Just please- please don't leave, okay?" He turned to face you. Looking into your eyes as you bit your lip. He sighed, closing his eyes tight for a brief moment.

"Honey, I don't think they'll listen," you made your way to him, barefoot tripping down the steps.

"No, they will I swear. They haven't even properly met you-"

"And what happens when they do?" He questioned. You paused. "What happens when they do and find out I'm everything they were told I'd be?"

"And what happens when they find out that that's everything I want?" you shot back. "That I fell for the 20 year old high school senior. Who likes bedroom concerts, and movie marathons, and walks in the middle of the night across town. What happens when they realize you're the only guy who has treated me right and the best thing to have ever happened to me." Your voice broke towards the end. Looking into his eyes, they were matching yours, glazed over as tears threatened to fall. You took another step toward him, placing your arms on his shoulders. "I'll tell you what happens," you stated, taking a hand to wipe your eyes as you sniffed.

"What?" Eddie questioned, hesitantly resting his hands on your waist. You brought your eyes back to his, moving impossibly closer.

"It won't matter," you cupped his face, " Because what are they gonna do? Tell me to break up with you? Yeah, right. I'm 20 years old watch me move out, then they'll shut up," Eddie let out a breathy chuckled. "It doesn't matter because once I show them how you look at me like I hung all the stars in the sky then they'll see what I see." You traced his cheek bone with your thumb while your other hand lightly caressed his neck. His own running along your sides. "And even then if they don't agree, it's okay. Cause fuck em y'know. That's what you always say." Eddie let out a snort.

"Fuck ‘em, really? That's what you're gonna say to your parent as an excuse?" he laughed. You shrugged admiring his smile.

"Why not? Like I said, I could just move out. I got enough cash. I could buy us a place, sugar mommy you-" That got a cackle out of him.

"Sugar mommy? Oh Lord, where the hell did that come from? What happened to the little innocent Y/n that I met?"

"She was gone a long time ago. I'm just saying," you defended weakly, "We've been together for almost a year and a half now. I think that's enough to know I wouldn't mind living with you," you stated. A comfortable silence passed over the both of you. Looking over the each others features, taking one another in.

"Okay," Eddie finally spoke. You smiled.

"Okay?"

"Now that you bring it up a year and a half without together and I’m just meeting your parents now? Sheesh, but he worst that could happen is they kick you out-"

"'Yeah, that's like the worst thing,'" you mimicked, causing Eddie to weakly push you away.

"I'm just putting up what you were laying down!" He exclaimed. "You're a big girl, you can take care of yourself," he mumbled pulling you back in, staring at your lips. You smiled once more.

"If this is an indirect way of asking if I can be your sugar mommy the answer is yes," you whispered against his lips. He let out an airy laugh before finally connecting your lips to his. Dipping you slightly, your back arching to deepen the kiss. This was all he had to worry about right now. You were all the he had to think about. It wouldn't matter what their end decision was.

As long as you stuck with him whatever happens would be okay.

------------

likes and reblogs are appreciated :)

[glitchadeli]

Soooo I was thinking about an AU I came up with back in January so I decided to doodle it again!! This is not canon to my main AU (obviously) and just is it's own AU entirely!!! This is called the "History Repeats" AU. An AU centered around Caspian, a Penball kid and his antics with his family. If I were to give it a more "show-like" name, it'd be; "The Captivating World of Caspian." (Pearl, Lilith and Kid are still in this AU as Darwin's kids, but obviously.. all my GumRob kiddos, are not. Idk who I'd put Darwin with in this AU but it's not really important lmao.) In this AU Penny and Gumball got engaged right out of high school (so like 19/20) and accidentally end up pregnant. However it was a lot of stress being so young so they broke off the engagement but still wanted to co-parent. A couple years later, Gumball ends up with Hot Dog Guy (and they have a daughter named Brisket, Cas' little sister in this AU.) Penny is still involved in Cas' life though!! Meanwhile, Rob ends up falling in love with none other than Chi Chi, someone who also despises Gumball. I do want to say, that is not the ONLY reason they get together. It's something they related to with one another but isn't the sole reason they get together. I kinda hate that trope. So no, Rob and Chi Chi fell in love with one another for their own reasons, not just over their distaste for a certain Watterson. Anyways, this little lad is their son, Xin. As the title of the AU suggests, history ends up repeating itself as Xin grows up with an intense dislike towards any of the Wattersons but especially Caspian. Seeing as Rob only believes their world 'went on' because of Cas' birth and that everything is still completely centered on the Wattersons. Well Xin doesn't like that, he wants it to be fair. NO ONE should be the 'star' and they should all get to live in a world that's fair. He will eventually find stuff about the void and the universal remote to make Cas' life hell, but.. will history repeat in the same way that Rob allowed Gumball to live? Or is Xin different than his father in getting what he wants and going to the ultimate extreme to get it.... Also I changed Xin's wording on purpose. Not just everyone Cas loves, everything. (I just didn't want it to be the exact thing Rob said so.. yeah idk) - EDIT: Adding the 3rd image because I have too. I like to joke that no matter how many AU's I make, there's always a "discount GumRob" ship somewhere. So yeah, I had too LMAO ~ I have no idea how often I'll draw this AU but I was thinkin' about it so I decided to doodle it. (that 2nd image is only added to show when I made the AU / first time I drew it lmao) One day I should make a post about every single AU I have with all my OC's because there's a few, but anyway, ye!! Xin and Brisket are actually from their own AU (which still needs a name) and are actually shipped together. But that's not relevant so I won't go off about it here. :P

[the-not-so-safe-way]

Tokyo Revengers characters but as my roommates gc.....

WHEN I SAY PEDO I MEAN HISOKA IF YOU TAKE ONE THING FROM THE WARNINGS IT SHOULD BE THAT

bouns sano family at the end

umm language, mentions of drugs, kissing(ONE TIME), talk about death, jokes about pedophile, depression, feet, and I THINK that is everything so just tell me if I missed something, and I've started to think about posting more so tell me if you want me to write something

the characters will change to see which ones I deem most funny as

———————————————————

Ran:How TF did u do that?

Rindou:wdym that’s just my face

Ran:Gurl

Rindou:are you face shaming me

Ran:Yes, Yes I am 🫶🏼

Rindou: damn that hurts

Ran:wow That must suck SUCK D-

———————————————————

Sanzu: I just offered a kid drugs and they legit said yes like don't they know not to take drugs from strangers also I don't think blood drives like me I have too many drugs in my blood so they don't like me did you know that dolphins can get high just like me

Mikey: Wtf

———————————————————

Ran: yeah he turned you into a cat

Rindou: It was Ran lmao

Ran: nope 🙅‍♂️

Koko: I HATE U WTF Bitch I hate u

Rindou: it wasn’t me 💀

Ran: it was he lies

Rindou: …

Koko: I'm gonna kill u both when I see u

———————————————————

Sanzu: DOES SOMEONE KILL GOJO SATORU

Mikey: death by tractor

———————————————————

Koko: i’m finally home from hell help me i’m at ikea i wanna leave

Ran: don't you dare say that about ikea 😤 I love ikea 😍 bring me meatballs

Sanzu: Oooh I want some meaty balls too

Ran: that’s what he said

Rindou: yeah It is what he said

———————————————————

Ran: im depressed now 😔😔

Mikey: ok join the club

———————————————————

Koko: pick a color

Sanzu: pink or white prolly white one wait when even is the gala

Koko: The gala is in june But this isn't for the gala

Sanzu: oh, the blue ones so pretty too

Koko: PICK ONE

Sanzu : but i love them both

Koko: PICK ONE

Sanzu : uhhh blue

Koko: Okkk thx

Mikey: the black one

Koko: ... There is no black one

———————————————————

••SANZU PULLS AYAKA ON FIRST TRY••

Ran: I HATE U SHES SO GOOD

Sanzu: I was hoping for mika

Rindou: i used 30 wishes for her and i got c3 diona and tighnari

Sanzu: LMAFOOO

Rindou: my friend made me keep fueling my gambling addiction

••Sanzu pulls the other 5 star (I forgot her name)••

Ran:BRO WHAT ARE U ON CRACK

Sanzu: yes always

———————————————————

Koko:i’ve smelled his shoes before

Ran: why

Koko: its free

———————————————————

Rindou: ur outside? at 11

Ran: I went to get groceries I'm almost home tho••5 minutes later•• Dw I didn't get kidnapped

———————————————————

Sanzu: i ate expired yogurt from school lunch today and had to go home early that’s was pretty delicious

Ran: HAHAHA IMAGIIIINE

Rindou: avoid da yogart I thought it was common knowledge about da gurt

———————————————————

Ran: imagine not eating badish tacos while your socks say let's taco about it

Koko: why did u buy that 💀

Ran: I didn't I made it

Koko: what r u watching

Ran: I'm watching the last of us

Koko: it’s so good have u gotten to the gay redneck episode yet

Ran: no I'm on episode 2

Koko: still watching the pedophile 🤨

———————————————————

Ran:hehehehehehe I have major issues 🫤

Rindou: yeah you do

———————————————————

Ran: Guys Help

Mikey: ew no

Ran: Meany

Mikey: I don't care

Ran: WOOOW why u gotta be so mean?

Mikey: because I don't care

Ran: Wow

Mikey: Yeah

Koko: that’s very nice

———————————————————

Mikey: dam that shark

Ran: It's so 😍

Sanzu: hes kinda fine

Ran: He so fine

Sanzu: who let the dogs out

Mikey: put your dogs away

Sanzu: guys what is this a feet pics chat

Mikey: nah it about da gang

Sanzu: 🥵🥵

Ran: Hehehehe

Sanzu: not the pedofile

Mikey: weirdows

Ran: WOOAH

Mikey: not the shark lovers

Ran: He's actually a gay psychopath thank u very much

Mikey: and a pedophile

Ran: Wellllll.. Ok maybe But damn he's hot 🥵 JKJKJKJKKKK

Sanzu: wtf is wrong with u

Mikey: your the real psychopath

Sanzu: fr

———————————————————

Rindou: do u like my ceiling

Ran: OMG ITS SO SEXY I love it

Rindou: ikr

Ran: nah mines better

Mikey: mine sucks it was leaking 😕

Koko: guys we live in the same apartment

———————————————————

Shinchiro: I didn't kiss her 🫥

Emma: Damn WHY CANT U STOP LAUGHING

Young mikey: because of face shaming

Izana: ✨yEs✨

[itsnotmourn]

the time i had a nightmare about the spooky month mannequin/skidad

it was a surreal experience

so. in the start of the dream, it was setting up the mood... like picture this: i almost got hit by two trains, one at the speed of a bullet (random) and: i walked alone at night in pitch black, trying to use my memory as a map, trying to use the light of the phone but nothing. it was like the void absorbed the light

i could hear that someone was following me but… they disappeared after i made it through my street. if i held my breath, i could hear the faint footsteps dying away

after surviving the trip across the street, i am now “home”. it wasn't my house but rather was a mix of my two of my cousins. one new, one old. and everything seems okay

but now marks the second part of the dream that’s actually spooky month related

so i immediately walked upstairs for my bed… only to find out that these stairs lead to the ceiling. wtf! i backed off and that’s when i realised one thing:

there were many “unfinished” stairs or ladders towards upstairs

like ?? huh ?? okay, damn. however, there was one correct stairway and i found it

as i tread upstairs, that’s when i noticed someone or something on the floor where i just was: the spooky month mannequin…

just there.

maybe it wasn't in the darkness. you know that liminal backroom feel? where it looks homey but there's that one thing that looks flat? it was more like that. that feeling.

i can't remember if it was “looking” at me or if it was just “standing” there but it did NOT last long because by the time i ran downstairs to investigate, it had shifted into something else entirely

hanging from the stair railings was the strange amalgamation between skidad and the mannequin. he was posed so oddly but yknow i did not like that

(extra context about my thinking bubble and YES it was an actual thought: one of my twitter mutuals was tweeting a lot about the mannequin/skidad so i think they manifested it into my dream HAHAHA)

i gave him a nudge, hoping that he’d fall off… and he did, except he was still holding onto the railings via feet

i went to take out my phone because i wanted to share with my moots (????!???!!)

but by the time i took a pic, the lights flickered out and skidad’s face transforms into a face of horror—like weeping angel energy—and nearly tilted his head closer to me

WAGH!!

(anyways, maybe not directly after but somewhere in my dream, my biggest worry at the time shifted from “i’m going to die” to “no one is going to believe me” so, obviously, this dreams proves that i’m the first to DIE in a horror setting HWHABSND </3)

out of fear, i just bolted upstairs, ignoring the skidad from the railings and after doing some shenanigans, dove right into my bed

but, alas. the night grows longer. skidad was now fully animated now. and he MAY have been pissed that i knocked him out off the railing earlier

as a kid, have you guys ever stayed up late but then had your parent come into your room so you had to pretend to be sleeping when they lean over and check?

he did that! except, instead of my parent, it was a stranger. and instead of leaning over, the stranger is right next to my ear, whispering some nonsense.

it gets insanely fuzzy from there, but at this point, the dream had ended and i awake! the nightmare is over! go away skidad !!!! hate you !!!!!! /j

previous years, i also had a nightmare about n//f//t’s AND the purge in my high school but i think it all means i need to stop consuming horror content for a bit LMAO