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crystallinestars · 8 months

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Falling asleep and waking up together with him

A collection of headcanons on what I think falling asleep and waking up with a few of the Genshin men would be like (alternatively, just me rambling about how much they love you).

Characters: Thoma, Xiao, Kaveh, Alhaitham, Wriothesley, Diluc, Childe, and Kazuha

Thoma

🍡 Thoma comes home late after his duties as a housekeeper for the Kamisato clan. He’s used to the grueling work, so he’s not as exhausted as he used to be when he first started the job, but the physical work still takes a toll on him, and he tends to fall asleep pretty quickly. Even so, he tries to stay awake long enough to chat with you while you snuggle in bed together, sharing stories about your day and your hopes for the future. Thoma likes to hug you close to him while you both fall asleep, both because he enjoys feeling your presence and because he feels the need to keep you safe. And no place is safer than in his arms, or so he thinks.

🍡 As a part of his duties for the Kamisato clan, Thoma wakes up really early so he and other housekeepers can get started on cleaning and cooking before the masters of the manor wake up. As such, he always wakes up before you, so you hardly ever get to see him before he leaves your shared home. Thoma feels bad that he can’t greet you a good morning in person, but he still wants to show you that he cares, so he cooks you breakfast. It’s become a routine for you to walk into the kitchen in the morning and find an entire breakfast spread on the table full of various delicious foods and a note from Thoma wishing you a good day ahead. Thoma also packs you a lunch for you to take to work (or eat at home). By nature, Thoma feels compelled to take care of you, and he will be damned if you go hungry.

🍡 If he comes home to find that you haven’t eaten breakfast, then he’ll be disappointed and scold you for skipping the most important meal of the day. He would be genuinely upset and worried for your health, fussing over you almost like a parent. It would be in your best interest to just eat the breakfast he prepares you to avoid worrying him more.

🍡 During your mutual days off, Thoma still wakes up early out of habit. He lays in bed next to you while you sleep, keeping his arms wrapped around you as he watches you snooze. The two of you don’t always have as much time to spend together as you’d like due to your busy schedules, so Thoma tries to take advantage of these moments to spend time with you and admire you. He wants to let you sleep, but seeing your cute sleeping expression fills him with too much affection for him to contain, and he can’t help but press a few kisses to your forehead and cheeks. Thoma’s kisses usually disturb your sleep, and he apologizes for waking you. He lets you go back to sleep if you want to and just gets up by himself, or if you choose to stay awake, he’ll be delighted to shower you in more kisses and hug you tighter to him, getting in some of that affection he didn’t have the chance to indulge in during the week.

🍡 Thoma loves waking up together with you, as rarely as that happens, since it gives him more time to spend with you. His favorite activity to do with you is cooking a meal together, so it becomes routine for you to help him out in the kitchen while he cooks you both breakfast. Even if your cooking skills are lacking, Thoma instructs you on what you can do to help, making sure to keep the tasks simple if you’re not much of a chef like he is. Even if he ends up doing most of the work, Thoma appreciates whatever help you provide him with. After all, the purpose of cooking together is less about the outcome and more about doing something together with you. He also finds that eating together with you makes the food taste better. You can laugh at him for that and poke fun at him all you want, but he claims that it’s true. Being around you just makes everything better.

Xiao

👹 Xiao refuses to sleep in the same bed as you, saying he doesn’t want to risk exposing you to his karma for extended periods of time. No matter how much you try to convince or beg him, his answer is always a firm no. He loves you, and it’s because he treasures you so much that he doesn’t want to hurt you. It would break him if you fell to harm because of him, so he always turns down your offers to sleep next to you even if it breaks his heart to see the disappointment in your eyes. He wants you to understand that he’s only doing this to keep you safe, but he always feels guilty for letting you down, and the guilt haunts him even after he leaves you to vanish into the night.

👹 At some point, his constant rejection depresses you. Even if you know why he avoids sleeping with you, understand that his reasons are good, it still hurts that you can’t engage in such simple intimacy with him. Xiao hates seeing you look so down because of him, so he agrees on a compromise. He’ll stay in the bedroom with you until you fall asleep, but he won’t lie next to you. It’s the best outcome you could hope for from him, so you agree. It’s not the same as having him right next to you and feeling his warmth, but it’s better than nothing. It’s still fun to talk to him while you wait for sleep to take you, hearing his calm and soft voice resound from a dark corner of your room in response to your questions and stories is reassuring. Despite what he may think, you feel safe having Xiao nearby, and when you tell him this, all that follows is silence. His only response is that you should go to sleep, but you can tell by the lilt in his voice that he’s embarrassed. Although you can’t see his face, you’re confident that he’s blushing.

👹 Once you’re asleep, Xiao likes to take a few minutes to watch you sleep to ensure you’re fine. If you have nightmares, he uses his abilities to eat them so they won’t disturb your rest. He has bad memories of consuming the dreams of others back when he was under the enslavement of a cruel god, but after watching you struggle with your nightmares and seeing how frightened they made you, he thought that he could help you. It is with this intention that he offered to eat your nightmares, and only starts ridding you of them after he got your consent. Xiao still feels a bit uncertain about eating your nightmares, but when you thank him for helping you in this way, he feels a bit better about it. He’s only done this to hurt others in the past, so he’s glad that his ability can actually help you.

👹 On rare occasions Xiao actually does lay down beside you, though you’re never aware of it because he does it while you’re asleep. He avoids touching you so as to not accidentally wake you, which is why you remain unaware. He’s not sure what drives him to go against his own words of caution, but there are times when he wants to be close to you. Yes, he holds your hand and exchanges kisses with you (though it’s mostly you kissing him), and that is its own form of closeness, but resting next to you while you are so vulnerable brings him a sense of peace. While he lays beside you you, Xiao likes to close his eyes and listen to your slow and even breaths. He tries to imagine what a normal life with you would be like if he weren’t affected by his karmic debt, and his mind comes up with images where he can hold you close to him as you both sleep, where he can spend more time around you and your friends without worrying about hurting anyone. But for now, laying down beside you like this for a short while is enough. Xiao doesn’t dare ask for more.

👹 In the mornings, you usually won’t find any traces of Xiao. He’s gone by the time the sun rises, whether to fight demons or hide out at the Wangshu Inn, you’re not sure. Regardless, you end up eating breakfast alone unless you call on him to join you. Xiao will always appear before you without fail, and though he won’t be pleased with you for calling on him for such a simple reason, he will stay with you while you eat your breakfast. He tells you to not make this a regular thing, reminding you of the dangers of his karmic debt. Even so, he wants you to be happy, and if his presence is what makes you happy, then he’ll indulge you a little.

Kaveh

🍷 Kaveh’s sleep schedule is inconsistent. Some nights he stays up until the early morning working on draft after draft for his client until he’s satisfied with the finished product. On other nights he gets too drunk or too tired and clocks in earlier. As such, each night you never know when your boyfriend will join you in bed.

🍷 On nights when Kaveh stays up late, he seldom listens to your urging to leave his work for later and finally get some sleep. As frustrating as his stubbornness can be, Kaveh is too bound by his perfectionism and work ethic to stop. But once he’s finally finished his work and gets into bed next to your sleeping figure, nothing brings him as much comfort and peace as holding you in his arms after a grueling workday. All the stress, worry, anxiety, and frustration melt away when he feels your warmth, the softness of your skin, and breathes in your scent. Even while asleep you still manage to chase away his loneliness and sadness just with your presence, and Kaveh will forever consider himself incredibly lucky that you chose to stay by his side despite how difficult it can be.

🍷 Kaveh holds you close as he falls asleep, nuzzling his face into your hair or the crook of your neck while his mind quickly succumbs to exhaustion. He used to have nightmares on days where the memories of his childhood plagued his mind, but ever since meeting you, those nightmares became less and less frequent. Sleeping next to you brings him a sense of peace and solace that you won’t ever know about unless Kaveh outright tells you, and though he won’t say it out loud, he still tries to let you know how much you mean to him through his actions.

🍷 Staying up late usually results in Kaveh sleeping in. He could sleep through his scheduled appointments with his clients, so he’s very appreciative when you wake him up to give him time to get ready so he won’t be late. If he doesn’t have any clients to meet, then you usually have to carefully extract yourself from his arms to not wake him, and then go to prepare coffee and breakfast to share with him once he wakes up. Kaveh is used to making his own food while he lived with Alhaitham since his schedule didn’t always match up with the Scribe’s, but there is something special in waking up and walking into the kitchen to see you preparing breakfast for him. The sight fills him with warmth, affection, and gratitude that he can’t express in words, so he chooses to hug you from behind and kiss you on the cheek in greeting. He thanks you for making him breakfast too, calling you a true treasure for your acts of kindness towards him. Though his words might sound like simple flattery, if you look into his eyes, you’ll see the adoration in them and know that he truly means them from his heart. Kaveh isn’t used to being taken care of like this, but little by little you make him more open to receiving your care, and he swears he falls even more in love with you for it.

🍷 On the rare occasion when Kaveh wakes up earlier than you, he usually likes to take a few minutes to lay next to you and just admire you in the morning light. Even if your hair is all tangled and you’re drooling onto your pillow, the architect still thinks you look beautiful. He claims to have an eye for beauty and fine art, and to him, you are the epitome of beauty at this moment even if you think otherwise.

🍷 Eventually, Kaveh reluctantly separates himself from you to get started on his day while still letting you sleep. Much like you, he also prepares you breakfast and even plates it on a tray and brings it to you so you can have breakfast in bed. When you’re met with the gorgeous display of fruits and other breakfast foods arranged artfully on the tray, you are reluctant to eat it. After all, Kaveh spent a long time arranging the food to look beautiful, especially for you, and it would be a pity to destroy such a masterpiece. Your praise of his efforts feeds his ego, but he still encourages you to eat because your acknowledgment of his efforts is enough. He wants to take care of you the same way you take care of him, giving you just as much love back if not more.

Alhaitham

🎧 Alhaitham is a man of routine. He has a set time for when he goes to bed and a regular proceeding he does before going to sleep, such as spending an hour reading in bed or listening to some music. He rarely stays up late unless absolutely necessary. He doesn’t expect you to match his bedtime routine since he believes you should do whatever you need to help you prepare for bed, but he appreciates it if you take his needs into consideration. Though he’s set in his ways, Alhaitham is flexible enough to make compromises in his bedtime routine to better suit you, like taking his reading out into the living room if you complained that you couldn’t sleep with the bedside lamp on.

🎧 The Scribe is not fond of physical closeness, so he prefers that each of you stay on your respective sides of the bed and not invade the other’s personal space. He feels smothered if you cling to him throughout the night, and dislikes being in contact with you for long periods of time. Though he’s not fond of having you wrap yourself around him, Alhaitham has a much easier time being the one initiating the physical closeness. If you feel cold, he wraps an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer to him. His body is naturally very warm, and he functions as a great heater during the colder nights. If you feel sad and crave some company or affection, then Alhaitham will indulge you by hugging you and absentmindedly stroking your hair. He won’t say much since he’s not good at using gentle words, but he hopes you are still able to find some comfort in his arms.

🎧 Another time during which Alhaitham is okay with you touching him would be when he feels affectionate. This could happen after a session of lovemaking or if he hasn’t seen you for a while due to his business trips and has missed your company. He doesn’t have many close relationships, and Alhaitham sometimes becomes aware of just how much you mean to him. You put up with his aloof and overly pragmatic self and accept him for who he is. You love him for who he is. Few people can put up with him, even his ex-roommate Kaveh frequently complained and blew a fuse because of the Scribe’s attitude, but you continue to love him despite the difficulties, and in return, he accepted you into his heart. Although he prefers to keep his personal space, sometimes even Alhaitham craves the touch of another, to feel that he belongs and is accepted by someone, and thus has moments where he enjoys feeling your head rest on his chest or shoulder with one of his arms wrapped around you. The feeling makes him feel a warm and gentle emotion he can’t quite place, but it makes it easier for him to fall asleep.

🎧 Alhaitham usually wakes up before you, especially if he has work. He’s consistent like clockwork with how he wakes up at the same time each day, and the morning routine he performs to get ready for the day ahead. If you’re still not awake by the time he makes his coffee, expect Alhaitham to unceremoniously wake you up and take a jab at you by commenting on how you overslept in the snarkiest manner possible. Though he wakes you up rather rudely, you still find a cup of tea or coffee and a light breakfast waiting for you so you won’t go hungry in your rush to get ready.

🎧 If it’s a day off, then Alhaitham likes to laze around in bed with you, especially if it’s raining outside. Something about reading in the comfort of his warm and cozy bed with you snoring softly by his side brings a sense of peace to him. Depending on how long you sleep, he might read while he waits for you to wake up or eventually get up if he knows you won’t awake for a while still.

🎧 Alhaitham is fond of taking afternoon naps when his day is uneventful, even coming home from the Akademiya so he can read and then snooze on the sofa in his living room. He keeps his headphones on to block out any external noise since it helps him fall asleep easier, warmed by the afternoon sun streaming through the windows. Though he’ll never tell you, one of his favorite things is waking up from such naps to find you sleeping next to him on the couch, resting your head on his shoulder. The stacks of reports he planned to look through after his nap go on the back burner, for you are simply too adorable for him to disturb. So Alhaitham resumes reading his book while waiting for you to wake up from your own nap.

Wriothesley

🐺 Being the administrator of the Fortress of Meropide, Wriothesley is often busy from dawn to dusk. Signing paperwork, overseeing the prison operations, meeting with collaborators and partners, monitoring various projects, and many other things all take valuable time in his day. Despite how busy he is, Wriothesley is still full of energy when you retire with him for the night. He likes laying on his side while facing you, propping his head up on his hand while he listens to you talk about your busy day, occasionally sharing stories of his own about the drinks Sigewinne tries to convince him to drink or funny stories about his colleagues. He enjoys having these simple, lighthearted conversations with you. It’s a nice contrast from his usual talks with inmates who are intimidated by him, and formal business meetings which aren’t his cup of tea.

🐺 Wriothesley finds comfort in spending these few hours awake in bed with you. He’s used to life in the gloomy, dark depths of the waters of Fontaine, surrounded by the cold, metallic walls of the Fortress. With no windows, it’s difficult to tell what time of day it is, the only indicator being the activities of the prisoners and staff, and the clock he occasionally glances at. A life devoid of sunlight and fresh air can be bleak and depressing, and though Wriothesley is used to it, he does notice that ever since he started sleeping with you, his mood has improved compared to before. Maybe it’s conjecture or maybe he’s just that stupidly in love with you, but watching your sleeping face and feeling your warm body in his arms makes him feel that his room in the Fortress is not as gloomy and cold as it used to be, as if you brighten up the place with your presence.

🐺 While sleeping, the Duke likes to have an arm around you in some way. He prefers to scoop you up into his strong arms and hug you to sleep, but if you don’t want that then he hopes you’ll at least let him lay one arm across you. He just likes feeling you next to him, it gives his mind a sense of peace knowing you’re beside him. Unfortunately, even if you tell him you’re not in the mood to be held by him, by the time you wake up you’ll find yourself wrapped up in his body as if you were a teddy bear. Wriothesley apologizes for this, but he genuinely has no control over his body while he’s sleeping, and it somehow happens unconsciously. You’ll either have to get used to this or sleep in a separate bed.

🐺 Due to his administrator duties, Wriothesley usually wakes up earlier than you. He doesn’t have much time to bask in bed with you and admire your cute sleeping face, so he gets up fairly quickly and gets ready for his day. If you work in the Fortress as well, then you usually get up together with him even if it might be a little too early for you. This gives you a chance to spend the morning with him before both of you go about your duties. Wriothesley usually gets breakfast from the cafeteria, and you join him if you feel too lazy to cook anything. However, the Duke loves it when you cook breakfast for both of you. It can be a simple meal of toast and eggs or anything else you know how to make, but having his love cook for him gives him a sense of domesticity which is a foreign feeling in the dark and cold walls of the prison. It makes him feel as if the two of you were married, and the idea warms his heart. He contemplates genuinely asking for your hand in marriage later down the line.

🐺 While you cook breakfast, Wriothesley brews a pot of tea for you to share with your food. He’s memorized your favorite way of taking your tea and adds the right amount of sugar or cream (if you take any) before serving it to you. Breakfast is generally the most time he gets to spend with you during the day before night falls, so he treasures these little mundane moments even if he doesn’t say it aloud. He does his part by washing the dishes afterward and asking for a kiss from you before heading to work. He claims it’s his good luck charm, and who are you to refuse when he gives you that expectant look?

Diluc

🦉 Between his day jobs as the wine tycoon of Mondstadt and the owner of Angel’s Share and his night job as the Darknight Hero, Diluc is very busy and has an inconsistent sleep schedule. So much so, that you don’t always get to spend the night in his arms. He could come home after you’ve fallen asleep and then be up before you, so by the time you wake up you won’t even know he was home if it wasn’t for the clear indication that he had slept on his side of the bed. Diluc knows he shouldn’t neglect you too much, so he tries to make time to spend with you. He misses you just as much as you miss him, so rest assured he will always return to your side.

🦉 Diluc feels guilty when you stay up late waiting for him to come to bed with you. You try not to rush him because you know that whatever he is dealing with at the moment is important. If it could have been done another day, then he would have left it for later in favor of joining you and getting some rest. Still, Diluc doesn’t like making you wait for him. He tells you not to wait and go straight to bed, though he does appreciate your dedication and loyalty towards him.

🦉 Once he does finally join you, Diluc likes to wrap his arms around you and hold you close while giving you a few chaste kisses in apology for making you wait and expressing his gratitude towards you. He feels so lucky that despite how busy he is, you don’t get mad at him or leave him for not being able to give you as much affection as you want. Diluc tries to make it up to you by being extra affectionate when he does get to spend time with you and sends you a lot of gifts when he can. For now, he hopes you will let him hold you close and stroke your hair while he feels you fall asleep in his arms. Diluc’s mind is usually full of various thoughts that don’t let him fall asleep easily, but listening to your quiet and slow breaths lulls him to sleep soon after.

🦉 Despite going to sleep late, Diluc usually wakes up before you do. If he doesn’t have anywhere urgent to be, he likes to take some time to admire you since he doesn’t get to do so as often as he would like. He traces your cheek with a finger, marveling at how soft and smooth your skin is, and how it glows in the morning light. You look so beautiful, and he’s reminded once more of why he fell in love with you. He apologizes when his touch wakes you up, and his heart squeezes when your face lights up in a smile at having woken up next to him for a change. Diluc kisses your forehead in a morning greeting and smiles when you cuddle up closer to him to enjoy the warmth of his body.

🦉 Though he wishes to spend time with you, unfortunately, he must part from you all too soon. His duties await him, and as the master of the winery, he can’t afford to stay idle. He invites you to breakfast with him, and by the time the two of you make it downstairs, Adelinde already has breakfast prepared for you. The perks of living with Diluc as his lover is that you get to eat delicious meals prepared by Adelinde, the head housemaid of the manor. She dotes on you as much as she dotes on Diluc and Kaeya and prepares your favorite dishes from time to time. It honestly makes Diluc happy to see that the closest thing he has to a mother figure has accepted you so warmly into his family, though in Adelinde’s eyes, you and her master might as well be married already. If not yet, then soon because Diluc would be a fool to lose someone as caring and precious as you who waits for him long into the night. She will make sure Diluc won’t let his happiness slip past him due to his sense of responsibility.

Childe

🐋 Childe doesn’t always get to sleep together with you due to being away on long business trips as a part of his Harbinger duties. He doesn’t complain about not getting to be with his love, but he certainly does think about how much better it would be if he could have you in his arms when he goes to sleep in his hotel room at night. He misses your warmth, your smile, your voice, kissing you goodnight before falling asleep, and then good morning when he wakes up. Once he makes it back home to Snezhnaya, you better believe that he won’t let you go once night arrives. He wants to make up for all the missed time he didn’t get to spend with you and will be very affectionate by giving you abundant kisses and caressing you all over your body. He loves feeling your warm and smooth skin against his palms, making you feel all that much more real to him and not just another one of his dreams which he often gets when he’s away from you.

🐋 Another thing he missed about sleeping with you is your conversations before bed. Childe loves to ramble to you about his family, recounting all the fun stories about his younger siblings. He avoids talking about his dealings as a member of the Fatui even though you’re aware of what his Harbinger duties entail. He’d rather not talk about work when he’s with you, but about something that makes him happy. In turn, he loves it when you talk about things you like or that you found exciting while he was gone. Sure, he read your letters about these events while he was away, but he wants to hear all about it from you directly, told in your own voice. Listening to your voice relaxes him, and he sometimes falls asleep while listening to you, but don’t take it the wrong way. He’s not bored of your stories, he simply feels so at ease around you that he lets his guard down and falls asleep easily.

🐋 Despite how affectionate he is, Childe isn’t very clingy when he sleeps with you. The most he does is keep a protective arm around your waist but otherwise gives you enough freedom to not hinder you while you sleep. He instinctively prefers to have a more relaxed posture while sleeping so he can react swiftly if something were to happen, and he can’t do that if he’s all tangled up with you. That’s not to say that he will turn you down if you want to rest your head on his chest or shoulder. He’ll very much welcome it and wrap an arm around your waist and kiss the top of your head before settling in to sleep. He does like having you near, after all. It makes him feel all warm and fuzzy when you snuggle up to him of your own volition, whether because you’re feeling affectionate or want to warm up from the cold Snezhnayan winters doesn’t matter, Childe will always welcome you with open arms.

🐋 Childe is an early riser. He rarely sleeps into the late morning, preferring to wake up early to train or go fishing. He doesn’t have as much free time to indulge in his hobbies, so he takes advantage of the morning to do so. He strives for self-improvement, and training or fishing are some of the best ways to help him better his fighting skills. Plus, he’s a strong believer in being productive with one’s time and doing as much work as possible in a single day instead of leaving things for tomorrow. As such, he won’t let you sleep for too long. Around 8 or 9 a.m., Childe will come to wake you, saying that you shouldn’t waste your day in bed and that he wants to spend more time with you. He even cooks you a warm breakfast and brings it to your shared room before trying to rouse you with hugs and kisses so you wouldn’t be too upset with him for waking you earlier than you might be used to. Childe wants the best for you, which is why he wants you to take control of your life and strive for self-improvement as well, and in his opinion, it starts with making the most of what your day has to offer.

Kazuha

🍁 As members of the Crux fleet, Kazuha and you spend most of your time out at sea, occasionally stopping with the crew to visit the harbors of other nations and explore the land. As such, the wandering samurai shares his cabin with you as your lover. It’s a bit cramped, but it’s not an issue since both of you spend most of your time outdoors. Kazuha goes to bed rather late because he likes to spend a few hours admiring the starry night sky and feeling the cool breeze. This time of day proves to be the quietest, and it’s perfect for him to compose some poetry or listen to the sounds of the waves and wind. He welcomes you if you want to join him in gazing at the stars or listening to his poems, but also understands if you’re too tired and want to head to bed.

🍁 Once he’s ready to go to bed himself, Kazuha will quietly join you. He’s quiet enough to not disturb you if you’re already asleep, but if you’re still awake then he takes advantage of that to wish you goodnight and kiss your cheek. Kazuha prefers to sleep while facing you. He likes having you be the last thing he sees right before he falls asleep, and be the first sight to greet him when he wakes up. He also enjoys holding one of your hands in his while he slowly drifts off. Though he can clearly hear your soft breaths in the darkness of your room, it’s still nice to have a physical reminder of you being next to him. If you’re still holding hands by the time both of you wake up, then Kazuha has a tendency to rub his thumb over the back of your hand and feel the smooth skin. It’s a small sign of his affection for you, a reminder that he loves you.

🍁 If you have trouble falling asleep, Kazuha can recite a few of his original poems for you or tell you a few Inazuman legends or fairytales in hopes that maybe his calm and soothing voice can lull you to sleep. If not, he’s willing to stay up with you to talk or take a walk around the ship’s deck and feel the night breeze. He keeps you company as long as necessary until you feel sleepy, and only goes to sleep himself once he makes sure you’re asleep first. He doesn’t want you to deal with the solitude of the night by yourself unless you explicitly state it’s what you want. Regardless, he is always willing to be there for you if you need him.

🍁 Kazuha tends to naturally wake up early. The songs of birds and sounds of the wind are enough to rouse him, though he lets you sleep if you’re not awake yet. He likes to take some time to simply admire you and chuckles if he sees you drooling in your sleep. Despite the drool dried to your chin and your mussed-up hair, he still finds you pretty. He knows that when you catch him looking just as disheveled when he wakes up, despite your giggles of amusement, he can tell that you find him equally as attractive if the loving gaze in your eyes is anything to go by. So Kazuha simply smiles and presses a tender kiss to your temple before getting up to start his day.

🍁 By the time you wake up, a few hours had passed since Kazuha got up, but he hadn’t had breakfast yet. He waits to eat together with you, considering it only natural that he should share all his meals with those he loves. He’s a firm believer that food tastes better in the company of others than while eating alone, and though he could eat together with his friends in the fleet, he doesn’t want you to eat by yourself. He uses the ship’s kitchen to whip up a simple breakfast for both of you. It’s nothing fancy, but it is nutritious and filling, perfect for helping you start your day on a full stomach. Despite your urging to not wait for you, Kazuha won’t stop doing so, and neither will he wake you up early unless necessary, so you better get used to it.

#genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #kaveh x reader #alhaitham x reader #childe x reader #wriothesley x reader #diluc ragnvindr x reader #diluc x reader #xiao x reader #kazuha x reader #kaedehara kazuha x reader #thoma x reader

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midnightshade · 10 months

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GojoHime: Evidence and Discussion

Jujutsu Kaisen isn't a romance series. It's a horror action series that focuses more on platonic bonds and camaraderie between its characters. That being said, just as any shounen series, it has its fair share of ships, each with its own assortment of crumbs and small details.

GojoHime is a particularly interesting ship to look at. Being a massive fan of it myself, it's fun to pick through the evidence that supports it. I'd like to share the evidence that I and many other GojoHime fans have found. I'll be starting with the smaller, weaker evidence first and working my way up to the strongest evidence.

Before I start in earnest, I want to clarify that this isn't made to attack any other ship. People can ship whatever they want, and no ship in the series is canon (aside from exceptions like Hakari and Kirara). I like GojoHime so I want to talk about it. That's really it.

With that out of the way, let's begin.

First, let's start with the evidence outside of the manga itself. This one isn't very compelling, but it is cute. In Japan, there is a chip brand called Bakauke. Bakauke has two mascots known as Borin and Barin, who are girlfriend and boyfriend. When Bakauke collabed with Jujutsu Kaisen, Utahime and Gojo were chosen to represent the Borin and Barin respectively, thus being depicted as girlfriend and boyfriend.

Moving on to evidence found within the actual manga, we see that on the splash page for Gojo and Utahime, the print behind them depicts arrows known as a Yagasuri pattern. In Japan, this is a symbol often used for weddings. It's meant for good luck because "a shot arrow does not return," and therefore, a married woman does not (or should not) return to her parents.

We also see depictions of them under an umbrella often used at weddings. Sharing an umbrella is also a common romantic trope in Japan.

Other smaller evidence exists in the form of their phone call. This consists a beeper code, where the number of their call spells out "I like you" in code, and another interesting detail is that Satoru calls Utahime from his recent contacts, implying that he calls her often.

Gojo and Utahime were made to be opposites. Aside from the obvious "opposites attract" trope, it creates a compelling visual story between them. Man and woman, strong and weak, modern and traditional, blue and red. Satoru hates alcohol and loves sweets while Utahime loves alcohol but hates sweets.

Gege said Gojo only puts down his Technique with people he trusts, which we see him do with Utahime. He trusts her enough to have to actively put his Technique back in place after she throws a teacup at him.

Moving on to some of the strongest and most convincing evidence, we have Waka Inoue, Utahime's very own technique, and Gege's past works.

Gojo had a picture of Waka Inoue as his background as a teenager. He clearly finds her attractive, as is common, considering she's a popular model, but the reason why this is important is that Inoue shares a lot of similarities with Utahime.

Both women have noticeable bangs, they're the same height (166cm), and they share a love for alcohol, karaoke, and sports, specifically baseball. Waka is described once as a "competitive crybaby who hates to lose," and as we see in the Anime, Gojo has a way of firing Utahime up and she is also prone to being a bit of a scaredy-cat and a crybaby. We also see her more competitive side come out during the baseball tournament between Kyoto and Tokyo.

Moving on to Utahime's Cursed Technique, as some Japanese fans have pointed out, Utahime's Soro Soro Kinku (Solo Forbidden Area) is based on a real love song about forbidden love with lyrics about a masked lover. The records from the singer, Akina Nakamori, are called Utahime records, and the singer even does Gojo's unlimited void hand sign during her live performances of her song, "Fin."

The most compelling bit of evidence for me is Gege's past works. Two of his three one-shot manga have characters who are very similar to Gojo and Utahime. The male protagonist is usually cocky and teases the female protagonist, while the female protagonist gets annoyed at his antics but is otherwise down to earth and kind.

In Nikai Bongai Barabarujura, the protagonist, Noroma, reminds me of teen Gojo in appearance and behavior. He is "the strongest" who teases Nodoka, the female protagonist, for being weak but has an obvious respect for her drive and inner strength.

In Kamishiro Sosa, we have a similar set-up as before. The male protagonist, Ganji, is very energetic and careless with the female protagonist, Rekko's, feelings, and is seen to have a very similar type of banter as Gojo and Utahime have.

Gege clearly likes that type of pairing, which isn't surprising given the bickering couple and rivals to lovers is a popular trope in romance. It's not unusual for Mangaka to reuse old ideas, and that seems to be what happened with Gojo and Utahime. Even their appearances share similarities.

As you can see, GojoHime has a lot of thought put into it, and it's very interesting to see the little details Gege has put into their dynamic. There's definitely a reason why so many adore this pairing, and I'm glad Gege has paid attention to that.

#jjk #jujutsu kaisen #gojohime #gouta #gojo satoru #iori Utahime #forbidden writings #jjk meta

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immaturityofthomasastruc · 10 months

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IOTA Reviews: Emotion

Hey, remember Felix? You know, that minor character who is the entire reason Gabriel has all of Ladybug's other Miraculous? The writers remembered he existed more than halfway through the season.

Let's get into the eighteenth episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fifth season: Emotion

We start off with Marinette and Adrien getting ice cream, and just like last episode, right when they're about to kiss, Adrien stops at the last second. While we don't see it, it's heavily implied that Gabriel is behind this. It turns out that Adrien has to get ready for some dance for rich people. While it has a name and I think it was mentioned in a few earlier episodes this season, it's really just some dance for rich people, so I don't care enough to remember it. Of course, all of the rich characters we know are invited, like Kagami, Chloe, Zoe, and Prince Ali. Lila, on the other hand, wasn't invited. This might sound important, but nothing happens with her until the end.

Zoe isn't going because of the “character development” she's gotten, so she offers to let Marinette wear her dress to the dance, which just so happens to be a masquerade ball. Tikki asks why Marinette even wants to go to this party she wasn't invited to, but all Marinette says is that it's so she can tell Adrien that she didn't have to keep the dance a secret from her. Why didn't Marinette just call Adrien? Because then we wouldn't have a story.

At the ball, Adrien and Kagami are the king and queen or whatever because their parents are really determined to make their ship sail even though the two show no real interest in each other (insert your own joke about the writers here), but they're interrupted by Amelie, Emilie's twin sister and Felix's mom. She's worried because her son has been missing for weeks, but Gabriel couldn't care less about the little twerp.

At the party, we get a somewhat amusing joke where Chloe fails to recognize Marinette under her mask, where Marinette not only says her name is Zoe, but her “underling” is named Chloe too. But speaking of...

Chloe: How rich are your parents? Rich? Very rich? Immensely rich? Of course, otherwise you wouldn't be here! It's too bad we can't bring out underlings with us. I'm sure these tin cans can serve properly but we can't make fun of them! (grabs a drink from a butler robot before kicking it) So lame!

Okay, did the writers just stop caring about writing convincing dialogue for Chloe? This is a problem I've noticed a lot this season. Yeah, Chloe was bad in the last four seasons, but here, she constantly talks about how Sabrina is her “underling” (Passion), or how she finds Marinete's suffering to be amusing (Derision). It's not really out of character, but it's weird how she's so much more blunt when it comes to boasting about how full of herself she is. It feels like a lot of her lines this season were meant to be placeholders for stuff the writers thought they'd change later, but then they decided to keep it in anyway. And of course to show how stuck up the other rich kids saying the same kind of stuff Chloe normally says, which is somehow less subtle social commentary than Hop Pop shouting “EAT THE RICH!”.

Adrien and Kagami talk about how they're expected to follow orders, while pretty much saying that Kagami is a Sentimonster since the camera really wants to show off her ring.

Oh wow. what does this mean? Wow, this is such a compelling mystery with so many twists and turns. I am so very invested right now.

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However, as the two talk, it's clear that Adrien isn't himself, literally.

“Adrien”: Let's leave, I dare you.

Kagami: Are you insane? We can't do that.

“Adrien”: Of course, we can. I can.

Kagami: (gasps) You'd do that?

“Adrien”: Wanna bet?

Kagami: No, we can't.

“Adrien”: See? You're not as free as you claim. Don't you think we should be able to decide our future?

I'll get back to this later.

Marinette tells “Adrien” that she loves her, but Chloe figures out that Marinette crashed a party she wasn't invited to. Of course, because this is Chloe, we're supposed to ignore how unnecessary this plan was for Marinette. Seriously, Marinette crashing the party in “Gabriel Agreste”, as illogical as it was, made sense, because they needed to stop Chloe from showing Gabriel incriminating footage of Marinette. Here, Marinette had no real reason to crash this party when all she had to do was call Adrien, and Chloe, like her or hate her, makes a good point in that she wasn't invited. But again, since this is Season 5 Chloe, she could say she opposes human trafficking, and the writers would still find a way to make her look like the bad guy.

Chloe tells the other rich kids to help her expose Marinette, but because they're so stuck up and entitled, they refuse to touch her. I'll give you all a moment to groan from that unfunny joke. Then we get this conversation between Marinette and “Adrien”.

“Adrien”: All eyes are on you.

Marinette: They're looking at me like I'm a monster.

“Adrien”: Look closer, Marinette. (whispers into her ear) They're the monsters.

I officially take back everything bad I ever said about the Canto Bight scenes from The Last Jedi.

While I get what the episode's going for, we really haven't seen a lot of the 1% doing things that would actually warrant this level of scorn from the audience. Yeah, most of them were egotistical snobs, especially Chloe, but you can't really see this as a shot at the elite when it's aimed at their children instead of their parents. All we've seen in this episode is the rich kids being jerks (and even then, it's played for laughs), Chloe rightfully trying to get Marinette thrown out of a party she had no reason to crash, and Gabriel and Tomoe trying to pair their children together. If you want to show the audience how bad rich people are, you need to show them actually abusing their power and mistreating others. As bad as the aforementioned Canto Bight scenes were, they still worked because it managed to back up the point it was trying to make.

Compare this to characters like the Ferengi from Star Trek or the World Nobles from One Piece. These are allegories for the 1% that work because they do a better job at exaggerating aspects of them that can translate to how we see the elite in our world. With the Ferengi, they represent everything wrong with cutthroat businessmen who base their entire society over financial gains, and with the World Nobles, they represent the disconnect with the common people by being so arrogant, they wear helmets that prevent them from breathing the same air as the commoners. If you wanted to show how bad the rich were, especially considering what's going to happen in a few minutes, you needed to do more to make the audience not like them so we'd be more happy to see them get their comeuppance.

Marinette figures out that Felix impersonated Adrien once again (it honestly stops being impressive when he's done it during literally every episode he appears in), and he decides to transform using the Peacock Miraculous in public for some reason, calling himself Argos.

Argos' design is okay. The suit and coattails look pretty nice, and the coloring on his face works a lot better than Gabriel's. The only problem I have is the way the hood looks. It looks too goofy to go with the rest of the suit. It kind of reminds me of that salmon suit Squidward wore in that one episode of SpongeBob SquarePants.

Before anyone else at the party can do anything, Argos reveals a Sentimonster he created, Red Moon.

Red Moon is... a red moon. It's just a red moon that floats above the city, and it gives Argos the ability to make anyone bathed in its light disappear with a snap of his fingers. If anything, this shows how overpowered the Peacock Miraculous is, and that Gabriel was a real idiot for not trying anything like this while he was Shadowmoth.

Anyway, after making everyone think his cousin is a supervillain as part of his brilliant plan, Argos decides to tell everyone in the room about what his Sentimonster can do. He demonstrates this by, of course, choosing to snap away Chloe before targeting Gabriel and Tomoe. You really have your priorities straight, buddy. Argos then carries Marinette outside before throwing her in a dumpster, because if he snapped her away, than Ladybug couldn't fight him.

But then Argos decides to go to the streets, and decides to snap away a bunch of innocent civilians... while singing a jazz song. To anyone curious as to what it sounds like, I must warn you, it isn't for the feint of heart.

I take back everything bad I ever said about the Hawkmoth rap.

First off, I'm just going to say it, Bryce Papenbrook cannot sing. Argos is clearly trying to sound like a suave and confident villain like Doctor Facilier from The Princess and the Frog, but his delivery is terrible. It either ranges from flat monotone to trying to shout while dealing with a sore throat. The point I'm trying to make is that there was a good reason someone else did the singing voice for Adrien in the recent movie.

Second, this doesn't do anything to make us root for Argos as a character, because there's no reason for him to be doing this. I can understand why he'd use his power to get rid of Gabriel and Tomoe (even Chloe, given we know how much she's done), but why is he suddenly going nuts snapping a bunch of random people who haven't even met him before? The episode tries to make him a character who only does bad things because he has no choice to, so him doing this to a bunch of innocent civilians makes no sense.

Finally, WHY THE HELL IS THIS SCENE A MUSICAL NUMBER?! It's hard enough to see Argos callously wipe out a bunch of bystanders, essentially committing genocide, but the tone of the song is all upbeat and cheery, while the lyrics are about how Argos should get whatever he wants. What is the purpose of adding a song here? Are we supposed to find this funny? Is it meant to establish Felix as a wild card? Is the song supposed to make us like him more because of how catchy it is? What was the writers' endgame here? Like I mentioned earlier, this flies in the face of the characterization the episode is trying to establish for him.

Marinette transforms into Ladybug and arrives on the scene, confronting Argos over what he did last season.

Ladybug: You're the reason why I lost the other Miraculous in the first place! And why he took them! You gave them to him without any regard for the consequences it might have with the people of Paris!

Argos: True, except I work for no one. I only helped Monarch cause it served my plans! I needed the Peacock Miraculous and today I need yours and Cat Noir's so I can make my wish!

Ladybug: Your wish?! What do you want?! What are you trying to do?! You're destroying the world and we don't even know why!

Argos: When I merge your Miraculous together, I'll make a wish to create a better world! A free world, where no one will be under anyone's control anymore, where no one will be excluded like I was! A world without people like you to decide what's right or wrong! Who gets powers and who doesn't!

Dude, you're literally playing God right now by snapping away people who did nothing wrong, while singing a song at that. You have no right to lecture Ladybug on how to use power responsibly. And once again, even though we just saw him happily snapping people out of existence like the kid from that one Twilight Zone episode, the episode is going back to portraying him as someone who's only doing this because he has nothing to lose.

Ladybug tries to use her Lucky Charm, but gets nothing in response. This is because her plan is to get Argos to give up, but even in episodes where her plan was to get Akumas to give up, she still got her Lucky Charm (Rocketear, Qilin, Penalteam, Reunion, Perfection, Intuition), so this doesn't really make any sense. Ladybug calls Argos' bluff, so he wipes out everyone from existence. After running into Kagami and snapping Adrien back into existence, Argos is surprised that they aren't thanking him for wiping out all of humanity, and in fact, see him as a complete psychopath.

We then learn Felix's true plan. Earlier that day, Argos capitalized on a opening he had been hoping he would get for weeks, and then created Red Moon. Right after Adrien's date with Marinette, Argos ambushed Adrien, and snapped him out of existence with Red Moon's power. He then decided to impersonate Adrien so he could infiltrate the dance and snap Gabriel, Tomoe, and everyone else out of existence.

I think my feelings on this plan can be perfectly summarized by Tony Stark.

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First off, why did he need to sneak into the dance? All Felix had to do was transform into Argos, and nobody would know who he really was.

Second, why did he need to impersonate Adrien? Felix claims he's doing this for him, yet all he did was steal his girlfriend and ruin his public reputation. As a matter of fact, why did he even snap Adrien away? You're already wiping out all of humanity, so I don't think temporarily doing the same to Adrien will earn you any goodwill.

Third, why did he waste so much time screwing around with Marinette and Kagami? I sort of get why he would try to get in Kagami's good graces (keyword being “try”) by trying to convince her to rebel against her mother more, but why did he dance around with Marinette while pretending to be Adrien? Felix later says he wanted to spare Marinette for Adrien's sake, but he barely knows her, and whether she finds out Felix impersonated her boyfriend or not, she's going to be pissed at either you or Adrien because of your galavanting. In fact, I don't think he ever told Adrien that he danced with Marinette while at the dance in the first place.

Finally, he really needed to wait for this for weeks? If your goal was to get rid of Gabriel and Tomoe, why didn't you just ambush them yourself instead of waiting for a public function? This isn't like has last few appearances where he needed to rely on his intellect. He has superpowers now. All he has to do is create another Sentibug or some kind of assassin Sentimonster and he can be rid of them easily. Instead, he waited weeks for a chance to steal his cousin's identity, dance with his girlfriend, talk trash about Kagami for listening to her mother when he's supposed to be helping her and Adrien, blow his cover in a crowded area by transforming, and use his killer moon to erase all of humanity from existence while singing. Remember, this is the show that usually makes jokes about Marinette's obsession with unnecessarily complicated plans.

Anyway, Argos tries to use his powers to bring Marinette back, but for some reason, they won't work. My best guess is that it's because Marinette transformed into Ladybug, but that shouldn't chance the fact that Argos snapped her with Red Moon's power. After trying to justify his genocide by saying he never wanted to hurt Adrien and Kagami, Argos remembers how his powers work and brings everyone back. After Ladybug lets him go scot-free, Argos goes to a private place realizes that he may have made a few mistakes for almost wiping out all of humanity, tearfully snapping Red Moon out of existence, calling it “his sister”. Because I guess we were supposed to emotionally connect to the giant moon that showed little to no signs of sentience this entire episode? Argos transforms back to Felix, and we learn that Amelie knew where he was the whole time, and she was apparently testing Gabriel for some reason.

After Adrien explains to Marinette that his father ordered him to not tell her about the dance, Adrien goes to talk to Gabriel about it. Gabriel, being Gabriel uses his control over Adrien to force him to never talk about Marinette again. Gabriel then gets a call from Lila, and even though she's been nothing but helpful to him since Season 3, he's apparently tired with her. Why is he suddenly rejecting the help of his most competent (by comparison) ally?

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Also, the episode ends with the revelation that Lila somehow knows Gabriel is Monarch. Why? How? I DON'T CARE, BECAUSE THIS EPISODE SUCKS!

Oh my God, this episode was just terrible! “Derision” and “Adoration” definitely got to me with the way their stories were handled, but this was the first episode in a while to really piss me off. The plot was contrived as hell, basically being a repeat of “Gabriel Agreste”, and you all know how I wasn't exactly a fan of that episode. Think about it: Marinette sneaks into a party, Felix tries to scheme against Gabriel, and Marinette and Adrien end up getting caught in one of his schemes.

The social commentary about how bad the rich were just felt more pretensions than anything else. I get that it's meant to teach children a lesson about the real world, but the episode feels so confident in what its trying to say when it's not that deep, even by kids' show standards. Rich people are bad? Yeah, I think someone like me who lives in the same country as Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Mark Zuckerberg knows that. Will you actually teach kids about the financial conditions that allow the wealthy to abuse their power or the cutthroat methods they'll resort to in order to turn a profit? No? You're just going to tell kids that rich people are jerks without giving any actual evidence in the same episode you're using to try and to teach them? Man, these writers just keep hitting it out of the park here!

This whole “Rich people suck” message also falls flat because Felix is the one pushing it. You know, someone who already comes from a rich family? It's not like Bruce Wayne where he uses his money to help the people of Gotham, as Batman or not. Felix just whines about how “tHeY'rE tHe MoNsTeRs.” when he's just as well-off as they are. The episode tries to do a subtle discrimination message as evidenced by his rant as Argos earlier, but it doesn't work because we have never seen anyone discriminate against Felix for who he is. Yeah, the episode once again tries to hint at him being a Sentimonster, but because the show hasn't just pulled the trigger and confirmed it, it's hard to really sympathize with him being “excluded” when we've never seen him being treated differently by others in earlier episodes, and even if he was a Sentimonster, nobody would know or be able to discriminate against him in the first place.

I don't know why the show keeps trying to excuse Felix's actions when once again, he pretty much committed fucking genocide yet the episode still wanted us to feel bad for him realizing his actions had consequences. If he actually wanted to own up to his mistakes, he'd either hand over the Peacock Miraculous to Ladybug or help Ladybug stop Monarch. For someone who claims he hates when people abuse power to make others suffer, he's no better, judging from how both times he's gotten to use a Miraculous, he's either screwed over Ladybug (Strikeback) or endangered a lot of innocent people. And if you're wondering why I didn't point out any double standards between the treatment of Felix compared to Chloe, that doesn't really matter. No matter how you feel about Chloe, whether you feel like she got screwed over or not, it doesn't really make how the writers are glorifying Felix any better or worse, as his potential “redemption arc” isn't off to a good start.

The plot was stupid, Felix was an idiot, and it felt like more effort was put into the musical number than the writing. In my opinion, this is easily the worst episode of the season so far.

Although at the very least, now that we have even more evidence that Adrien, Felix, and even Kagami are all Sentimonsters, I think I know what clip I can start using to describe my feelings on this plotline.

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THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THE EPISODE IS... FELIX

For someone who managed to outsmart Gabriel on multiple occasions with no superpowers, Felix's intelligence really took a nosedive the second he got the Peacock Miraculous. He came up with a completely unnecessary plan that involved impersonating his cousin's identity and mocking his friend when he's supposed to try and win their favor, he danced with his cousin's girlfriend without his consent, transformed in public, smearing his reputation even further, and proceeded to gleefully wipe out humanity through a musical number, and needed other people to point out how immoral his actions were. Of course, Marinette gets second place thanks to her plan to break into the party and later letting Argos get away.

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pinktom · 6 months

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What do you think pink about tomarry content creators getting abusive tomione asks suddenly? First obsidian, then I saw one more account getting and now seminar arts. Is it only one person doing all this?

Btw my jaw dropped with your no filter answer where you said that whenever harry comes the chemistry between to marry best tomione 🤣. I would love to hear more of your no filter thoughts

I have no doubt those asks were sent by trolls. I, however, am simply a hater—I see an opportunity to hate, justified or not, I pounce. x]

In ascending order, here are the reasons I think Tomione sucks.

PS: If you know this post is gonna piss you off and press "Keep Reading" anyway - that is entirely on you. Send me anon hate and I'll assume you're a masochist who wants me to spank your pert, round hinie and call you a naughty, naughty girl.

“Book nerd loves book nerd uwu” trope does not fit Tom Riddle, and I find it obnoxious.

Like I touched on when I was first sipping on that haterade, Tom Riddle values usefulness. By this logic, you could easily contrive up a scenario in which he wants to use Hermione’s skills for whatever reason.

However, the route that is usually taken in Tomione is that Tom is … impressed … by her intellect. A woman… who is… smart? He’s intrigued. 😏 He’s never once met a smart woman in his life before. And certainly not one so independent and feisty. She doesn’t swoon over him like the other girls do (eye roll).

I never got the impression anywhere in canon that Tom Riddle cared much about intellectual pursuits beyond those which were immediately useful to his goals, so for the very basis of a relationship to be his interest in her brains – to me, it’s tedious and off-base.

And also icky honestly lkjdflkj. Hermione’s two crushes are on a couple of stinky smelly boys (Krum, Ron), where the hell do you go off acting like she wants some mysterious, twisted dark boy? I’m offended.

Absolutely zero chemistry; once Harry steps in, it’s game over

Because these characters lack any common ground, shared values, or compelling circumstances that tether them together, there is zero chemistry. You can try to fabricate those things with a little bit of crack!cocaine, but then you’re forced to contrive a lot of additional personality traits and circumstances that diverge them from their canon selves. (Which yes, you can do, but it only works if you’re gonna do something really interesting.)

As much as people like to har har about how canon doesn’t matter, here’s the truth: yes, it does. Our communities only exist because we’re referencing shared source material. However much you can bend characters around, everyone knows each character has an essence that just “feels like them” on a deeper human level.

As such, we all know Tom Riddle and Harry Potter are intrinsically connected to each other. In Tomione this presents a conundrum. I could cite dozens of fics, but I’ll stick to two very well-written ones I enjoyed.

In one of them, Tom was a criminal and Harry was a detective on his tail; no matter how many times Tom fingered Hermione, he was always more entangled with Harry, because the stakes and intensity between them were so much grander. Same thing with the other fic but amplified by the Horcrux bond. At their very first encounter, when Tom and Harry laid eyes on each other, they both immediately felt an arresting connection, with distrust and intrigue. Hermione instantly paled in comparison in both stories.

It’s just like the moment Harry steps into the frame, you see how transparent and superficial the “commonalities” between Tom and Hermione ever are. Books and cleverness - oh but Harry, there are more important things! Like being spiritually linked! And sharing unique and intimate traumas in common!

Heterosexual Tom is truly disgusting to read about

Look–it’s a matter of taste. We’re all products of our environments. For me, no amount of feminism or fantasy can overrule everything I’ve seen and experienced in my life. ( ಠ_ಠ )

I don’t enjoy reading about women in relationships with men who are controlling, violent, and selfish. Even the way Voldemort treats Bellatrix in canon always makes me wince, because I see it like this … here’s this girl who grew up proud; who was beautiful, rich, extremely gifted and powerful; and she turns into this horrible sniveling creature. Say it ain't so! I wish she'd killed him when he broke her ass out of Azkaban.

But back on the topic of Tomione specifically — I think there’s another layer to it, which is the greasy self-insertion aspect which makes me uncomfortably aware of how much the author’s ginie is tingling at the idea of Tom Riddle lifting a brow and saying, “Is that so, Miss Granger?” while she scowls and tells him to fuck off !!!

It’s of course not the self-insertion in itself that’s icky. It’s more just that the type of person who wants to self-insert into that particular heterosexual scenario is, uhh, too basic for me and my big powerful fujo brain.

And I guess that's gets me to the very core of why I find Tomione basic, trifling, and underwhelming.

Tom Riddle is allowed no faults whatsoever in Tomione

Oh, sure. He’s controlling. He’s mean. He grabs her wrist and says, “What were you doing talking to Malfoy?” 😠

But so... ? Tom Riddle is a deeply embarrassing, mentally unwell trainwreck of a person. He's so much grosser than that. Yet you do not get that feeling at all in most Tomione fics. His worst character traits are often there but they’re made to seem sexy and flattering at all times.

I’m not saying your run-of-the-mill Tomarry fic doesn’t suffer this fatal flaw too—but when it comes down to it, Tomione doesn’t allow for his unsexy fallibility, period. Because the sexiness of the ship really depends on heteronormative romantic tropes and fantasies, which tend to be quite rigid and narrow.

And I understand and empathize with why this is; just look at Reddit, so many women in heterosexual relationships already must put up with mortifying, embarrassing, and unhygienic things (y’all know which posts I mean 🙁).

That’s just not what I’m here for. I love Tom Riddle because he’s a superficial narcissistic lunatic with no self-awareness and emotionally stunted outlook.

I don’t want to hear how he terrified the orphans if I’m not gonna hear about how he pissed the bed and got his bare ass whipped by a mean, toothless matron for chatting in sermon. I don’t care to see him bossing around those wimps at Hogwarts if there’s not at least one student who looks at “ENEMIES OF THE HEIR BEWARE” written in blood and feels tummy-churning secondhand embarrassment.

#tom #server #asks #offensive content #anti tomione #shipping wars

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anodymalion · 25 days

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ok I am in fact using this as an excuse to make a long post about this thank you thank you asjksdjfaljdf

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Interpreting Yuri as asexual is my very very favorite type of headcanon, which is one that 1. is compellingly coded in the source material (even if that wasn't the creator's intent), 2. is thematically relevant to what the piece of media is Trying To Do as a whole, and 3. just means a lot to me, personally, because I said so.

Coded in the source material

Yuri’s short program is “eros”, aka desire (you can interpret what “eros” means in various ways, but YOI itself explicitly refers to sexual love, at least in the English translations). Yuri struggles with this. Hard. He can’t come up with an answer when asked what eros means to him. His big revelatory moment about desire is that it’s how he feels about wanting to eat his favorite food (omg… boy). Even as the season goes on and the way he views the Eros program changes, the program doesn’t ever really embody the idea of eros as sexuality or romance (which was how the other characters expect him to interpret it) but rather as a desire to keep Victor in his life.

Like look. I’m obviously not going to say that the creator intended any kind of ace subtext to be there. I kind of doubt it was her intent. But goddamn is the subtext there.

2. Thematic relevance

The central theme throughout YOI is “love”, and especially loving people in a way that inspires you both to be your best selves: Yuri learning that the people in his life truly love and support him; Victor finding someone who makes him feel joy about skating again.

Like, Yuri’s whole skating theme for the Grand Prix is literally about him exploring what love looks like to him, even when it takes a form that other people don’t totally understand. Viewing all this through a lens of him being ace is really compelling. It adds depth to the idea of learning how to express the way you feel love even when it looks different than what other people expect. I think it’s a really delicious layer that adds even more nuance to what the show is getting at.

Besides, it’s an interesting way of viewing the criticism of the show that occurred for it not being 100% explicit about them being a couple (aka people getting mad because the kiss in ep 7 is blocked by Victor’s arm lmaooo). Like, ok, did you see the ending scene of ep 9? Did you see ep 10??? They definitely, definitely love each other, in whatever way that means for them. Their relationship takes a form that’s pretty different than the other way people in the show are going about romantic relationships, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t real for them. That is very much in line with the main themes of the show.

3. Means a lot to me

In the final scene of the penultimate episode, Yuri tells Victor that they should end their coaching relationship after the Grand Prix ends. This is because he thinks he’s holding Victor back, that Victor would be happier being free to go back to skating on his own instead of being Yuri’s coach. When I watched this (and, I’ll be honest, this is completely me projecting here) I REALLY interpreted this as an ace thing. I think it’s pretty easy to internalize the idea when you’re asexual that you just won’t be… enough, for other people. In my case I ended up a strong impulse to self-sabotage relationships because I would rather be the one to end things than to let someone else tell me that who I am as a person is fundamentally lacking. Yuri destroying a connection he desperately wants because he thinks there’s something about him that is holding Victor back from a life he’d be truly happy with? Oh yeah. I can fucking relate to that.

Also: YOI came out in 2016, which was the absolute peak of hostility to ace people I was seeing on this site. It was bad here. At the same time Tumblr was going wild over this show. Everyone was watching it. Seeing a whole site of people absolutely adore a character I very deeply in my heart believed to be ace? Extremely vindicating.

---

In conclusion Yuri is asexual because it is fun and interesting that way, and also because of this:

#like it adds so much to the show if you view it through this lens! it's really good!#same reason for why I hc zuko as gay like ->#yeah ok you don't *have* to see it this way... but don't you want to live deliciously (in your media analysis)???#yoi #yuri on ice #thank u for giving me the excuse to finally post about this lol this has been building in my head for literally the last 8 years

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jahiera · 10 months

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Love your little meta analyses of Astarion and would LOVE to hear your thought on the optional "you don't have to do this just because you feel like you owe me something" line early in Act 1 when he first propositions Tav and his reaction to it?

Okay hi sorry, I lost a bunch of my saves and I thought I'd lost the save for this scene too but turns out NOPE I HAD IT & I'm so glad because I wanted to go back and play the different variations so I could probably scream and... scream I did! And I'm SO compelled by this, so thank you for the ask! & sorry for the late response.

So you actually only get this version of the conversation if you don't express any sort of confirmation that yeah, you're into him. If you confirm you're into him, or the biting, that'll bypass the ability to say "you don't have to do this," altogether, which makes me want to eat drywall because the whole conversation prior is still fairly shady, but the "reward for your noble sacrifice" only comes through if you don't fully confirm you were into it. which is very interesting because in the other two versions you can still express doubt, but only in the format of the "a less trusting person" line seen above as well.

The first time he propositions you, if you get this branch of dialogue, what I think happens here is Astarion quickly shifts gears. He sees that Tav isn't, at least according to what they say, charmed or aroused by the vampire routine.

One other thing: they helped him because, as a result of giving him blood, he would be able to physically help them more. He would be stronger, a better fighter, and thus useful. (Whatever is intended by each individual tav who takes his line is up to the player, but that's what can most obviously be received by Astarion).

So, he switches up instantaneously to accommodate the motivation that Tav seems to have (through his own eyes). Instead of appealing to Tav's horny brain and physical attraction to him, he's appealing to their "sacrifice." Tit for tat. Pleasure in reward for blood. You aren't lustfully interested in him as is? That's fine. He can switch it up and instead offer sex as repayment for what you've done for him, and for his body as an object that functions better due to the blood you've given him. Either way, the end goal will be the same: sex to secure his position in the group.

At this point in the game, it isn't about Tav, not really, I don't think. You could take any version of this conversation to the conclusion and it would mean the same thing to him. (That is to say: seduction and sex for security, and sleeping with Tav is a quick way to get that.)

So when Tav says, "You shouldn't do this just because you feel like you owe me something," I don't even think it really... registers for him? Because he hasn't even begun to conceive of that possibility. He is fully still in the same mindset he had prior to escaping, and is running through the same patterns of behavior as before.

He brushes off that reassurance immediately, says it's "more of an excuse," than anything, doing the same thing as before. When he gets this reaction from Tav, he switches gears again: oh it's not the only reason I want to have sex with you, I'm mostly interested in you, I promise. He's navigating the very shallow social interaction that this seduction routine entails by adjusting at a moment's notice to the next thing Tav says. If they're interested or flirty back, he'll fully play up the whole thing. If they're reluctant, he offers new reasons for why they should want to sleep with him.

And then if you reject him entirely:

"Deny your feelings all you like, it doesn't matter to me."

You don't get disapproval for rejecting him, but he still reinforces this idea to Tav that yes, you're interested in me. You just haven't realized it yet. Typically this kind of line in romance would be annoyingly obnoxiously all about "oh you want me you just haven't realized it yet" and the other party is supposed to find this hot, but with the context of the rest of his arc, it's fascinating. Because Astarion only knows how to secure safety and power through seduction and sex. He only knows how to get what he needs through emotional manipulation and cunning--and SHALLOW emotional manipulation at that. He's not playing an intricate game here. His manipulations become prettyyyyy overt by the second time he propositions you:

Like, it would take some serious emotional blindness to miss the hints he's laying out here. He's delighting in dangling the fact that he's lying and manipulating Tav right out in front of them. Because now he feels more secure in his position in the group. In Tav's attraction to him. Because they've already slept together once, he has less to fear about losing his station of safety via Tav within the group.

So then I thought. Okay what does he say when you reject him in other places where he propositions you. In the actual sex scene itself, he simply says "Why are you here then? I thought we had an understanding? (...)" but if you reject him during the "little treat," scene, he says:

In both instances, the "you don't have to" and "I don't think I really want this," Astarion gives Tav a glimpse at the, huh, trauma behind the scenes. In this later scene, when you've already slept with him once, he outright admits he's slept with tons of people and doesn't remember most of them, and in a very.... passive, "gotten on my back," phrasing that's so offhanded for all that it implies. Like can we go back. Can we unpack that. And he does not! I don't know what to make of that last line. "You, I'll remember." Maybe he's being saccharine one last time to keep up some manner of security within the group. Maybe he's confusingly genuine, growing to care about Tav in a way he has no idea how to unpack yet, if at all. Probably doesn't even realize it yet, if that's the case.

Either way, he gives you unintentional glimpses behind the scenes to the inner workings of his intentions. The inconsistencies in how he talks to Tav depending on their next reaction. The switching gears quick to accommodate different statements and personalities. The offhanded reveal of his total lack of care or feeling about the "lines" he spews to get people to be interested. IT HITS. It hits badly.

#astarion #bg3 meta #bg3 spoilers #sa mention #BIG ... BIG FEELINGS ON THIS ONE. Apparently.#I'll add transcriptions of the dialogue in a sec I'm just on the go right now but #you're A DARLING & thank you for asking & thank you for liking what I have to say that's very sweet of you!! <3333 #MWAH. Hope this is coherent? and also... way too long #but. hopefully coherent!

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megaderping · 3 months

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Adachi is such an interesting character because I think a lot of his worst kinds of fans are the type who like... see themselves in him and thinks that's a good thing and who talk about how he was right, but that absolutely doesn't sum up every person who likes him, and I think that's something that people forget in the greater fan discourse. Adachi is meant to represent a lot of things to Persona 4's narrative. He is a byproduct of many toxic aspects of Japanese work culture. The idea that hard work will get you a stable life with a good job and a steady future. Adachi internalized this, and yet he got sent to this hick town with nothing to do over one escape. His refusal to form meaningful connections with others in favor of nihilism and a desire to just watch the world burn is meant to be a cautionary tale. If you see yourself in Adachi, the game asks you to reflect and consider that there are still things worth living for. It's also a lesson he ultimately gets. He is the one who urges the Investigation Team to pursue the real truth, and his arc in Ultimax is great because while he's still not a great person, he also has grown enough that even if he's still mean as shit, he entrusts the future to Yu and the Investigation. He just wants to go back to jail, play by the rules, and face justice, whatever form it takes, and instead he's dragged into more supernatural bullshit and has to deal with Sho. He's forced to confront who he was in the past, and he hates what he sees, and he hates that Sho is assuming the exact same kinda mindset that got his ass kicked in the end. And all of this is fantastic, but then I look at the kinda fans who talk up Adachi as if he's this great person and use him as a means to shit on fans of, say, Akechi without even trying to understand the cultural context or distinctly different role he plays in his narrative. It's not good to strawman Adachi or Akechi fans and the weird beef between the audiences of both characters annoys the shit out of me because they both have their own meanings and critiques of Japanese culture. And, y'know, people can like different characters for different reasons. I feel like a lot of this could be resolved if people were just polite and more open to discussion instead of making assumptions about why people like certain characters. Because Adachi's misogyny is definitely reflected in a lot of the kinds of fans who will actively shit on the female characters and female Persona fans, but I've met some genuinely kind fans of the character who just find him compelling for the disaster that he is and the interesting role he works as a foil to the Investigation Team. You never know why a character is someone's fav until you talk to them, and aggression doesn't help facilitate good discussions. Idk. Just a random thought, I guess.

#persona 4 #tohru adachi #persona 4 spoilers

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biscuitblinkeu · 4 months

Text

Are you hurt? [5]

Park Chaeyoung x Fem!reader

Word Count: 2314~

ToSumUp: Lots of surprises in one day, yes? You don’t get quite the warm welcome coming home from grocery shopping.

A/N: Chapter dedicated to my anon, happy birthday! I hope you have a wonderful day and enjoy the chapter <3 Also, just wanna say thank you guys for being patient and for all the nice comments! P.S this chapter was supposed to be way longer but I had to cut it off because I wasn’t gonna finish the gaps at the end before Anon’s bday ended 😭

Rosie was asleep on the couch when you came home, her hair spread across the cushions like a river of flowing gold. The odd position she was in let you know she tired herself out, she even forgot there was a potato chip still in her hand. Laughing under your breath and highly amused, you fixed the cover over her.

You felt compelled to get cameras— a recurring thought— to catch her doing something silly or find out whatever it is she does when you’re not home to end up like this. It would be similar to those pets on social media who respond to the talking animal-like object with a secret camera… and they would tilt their head in confusion or bark.

But, again, Rosie’s not a dog.

You shook your head, an action you hoped got rid of such thoughts (no matter how many times she reminded you of one), and situated yourself on the ground beside the couch, you stared at her face for a while, admiring her beauty. It’s something you know you’d never get used to. Your gaze dragged across the bit of freckles on her nose and cheeks, to her long eyelashes that were dark against her skin. You watched as they fluttered as she dreamt.

A sigh left her lips, and she turned to her side, facing you. She had a soft pout shaping her lips, and you found yourself staring at them longer than you should’ve. She was so adorable asleep… What?

You blinked owlishly, heat rising to the back of your neck after realizing how creepy you were being. The last thing you wanted to do was make her uncomfortable. Just as you were about to retreat, you realized the potato chip was still nestled between her fingers, and, worried she’d crush it and make a mess, you reached out to pluck it from her hand, only for her eyes to flutter open. They were bleary, clouded with sleep, and caused a stir in your stomach. She blinked at you, a blush slowly appearing on her cheeks.

Startled, you toppled onto your elbows. “R-Rosie?“ You stammered.

Crunch.

The crisp sound made you both look at the chip now crushed in her palm. She sat upright, now thoroughly embarrassed and wide awake.

A smile grew on your face, and you dismissed the apologetic look she was giving you. “Here,” you said, grabbing the empty chip bag on the nightstand. “You can put that in here.”

“Did you sleep well?” You asked when she finished transferring the crumbs into the chip bag.

Rosie nodded with a yawn, stretching her arms above her head. The action revealed more of her slender stomach and the soft curves of her waist. It was distracting, and you quickly tore your gaze away from the sight to focus on the chip bag in your hands, thus not noticing the sly smile on her face. You played with the sides of the bag, pinching the aluminum plastic between your finger tips. She tapped your forehead to get your attention again, her brows raised in question, and mouthed How was work?

“Ah,” you said, relieved for a distraction. “It was fine— same old stuff. We have a new worker joining us, and so far she seems nice, a little clumsy though. I’m in charge of helping her out.”

She knew by now you weren’t one to love interacting with people— you would rather stand back and observe, finding interest in the actions of others, how they moved or expressed themselves. She thought that was why you were able to read her so well, how you were able to understand her despite the fact she didn’t have a voice.

However, she didn’t know why she felt a twang to her heart at the mention of your new coworker, a feeling of unrest growing in her stomach. She felt anxious about today and didn’t know why the feeling still lingered.

Rosie reached for your hand with a frown, noticing a bandage wrapped around your index finger.

You looked at it, remembering your little accident earlier. “Oh, it’s nothing serious, just a shallow cut. The stapler nicked me when I was trying to refill it.”

A staple..er? Rosie stared at you quizzically.

“It’s a tool used to clip stacks of papers together and it’s sharp in some areas. I was refilling it when it clamped down on my finger,” you explained.

Her mouth made an ‘O’ shape and she nodded, but you could tell she still didn’t understand. Either way, you were prepared to answer anything she asked you— who were you to deny her curiosity?

“Are you hungry?” You asked, standing up. It’s been a while since you ate lunch, and knowing she had just woken up, she was probably hungry as well. You opened the fridge and staring back at you was a jar of mayonnaise, a single egg, a half of tomato, and two pieces of cheese. You bit the inside of your cheek, wondering how you didn’t notice the lack thereof earlier. “Looks like I’ll be going grocery shopping,” you murmured, closing the fridge. Your grandmother always told you to buy ingredients, which you took to heart, cooking your meals instead of ordering out. She also insisted you become a chef one day— which obviously didn’t happen.

Rosie was watching you from over the couch, and when she noticed you were staring back at her she looked away, pretending to be interested in her hands.

“Do you want to come with me?” You offered tentatively, noting her mannerisms. She definitely wanted you to ask– if the way her head whipped toward you and began to nod rapidly, if the way her eyes brightened and a smile tugged at her lips was any indication. “Then that’s settled, why don’t you put a coat on? And some warm pants.”

…

The doors to the grocery store slid open with a mute whoosh and a bell sounded out as you walked through. Rosie, still holding your hand (to which she insisted on the moment you walked out the door to make your way here), appeared shocked at the technology before staring in awe at the assortments of fruits and veggies that lined the entrance-aisle. You believed it was safe to assume she’d never seen a supermarket before, or seen this much food in one place, and it was evident that she had no idea what to do and looked quite apprehensive. But, she followed you closely behind nevertheless.

You grabbed two large baskets after realizing all the carts were being used (or missing), handing one to Rosie. "Can you hold this for me?... Thanks." You then began your journey of looking for ingredients. For tonight, you planned to fry something, perhaps chicken-- spicy chicken-- and maybe some white rice, vegetables and whatever else you find. Your eyes fell on an aisle marked "spices," and your eyebrows furrowed, you definitely need to restock (flavorful food comes at a price, after all). Rosie seemed to realize where you were headed because she took the lead, yet peered over her shoulder every once in a while to make sure you were still there.

Every few feet Rosie would hold up an item she plucked off the shelf, and when you nodded she would put it in the basket before walking away with a smile to find something else. You simply shook your head in amusement, glad she was having fun. Figuring she would come back and find you, you moved to the next aisle slowly, so she would still be able to locate you nearby. You did this because you knew how it felt being separated from a parent in the grocery store, lost but trying not to look lost as you searched for your family, a growing sense of dread worming its way into your stomach the longer you looked.

Rosie wandered the aisles with a subtle boldness– she wasn't as uneasy as when she first walked in– looking for something else to find. She liked the smiles you would give her when she found something useful. She liked the smiles you gave her when she found something useless, too. Either way, she was on a mission. Or, maybe it wasn't a highly important mission because the moment she passed an aisle that contained brightly packaged, illustrated items, she swiftly turned and entered it. Her eyes widened, and she looked at the different packaging, with, what she believes is edible, a variety of "foods"-- all shapes and sizes. Everything looked so appealing, and she was simply dying to know what was inside. Maybe you would get it for her?

As Rosie was contemplating which package to get, she was approached by a group of guys– looking like they were in their early adult years or so, unbeknownst to her. One guy who was being jostled around and whispered to was pushed towards her, the others staying behind and snickering behind their hands. He took a deep breath, pulling his phone out his pocket. “Hi, I think you’re really cute and wondered if I could get your number?”

No answer.

He tried again, yet still received no answer. He looked back to his friends who merely shrugged. So he waited. They gave her a moment to see if she was just “lagging behind” but she kept staring at the packages—practically burning holes into them. But she was thinking hard. Very, very hard and intensive. Which one should she choose when they all looked good? She’s never had this type of food, and never had to pick something out for herself, either. The servants in the palace would do it for her, not trusting her ability to pick out something that's not….”human-originated”. Would you like what she got?

Would you smile at her again for her choice?

She wanted to know.

Completely absorbed in this new task, Rosie took both of the packages and walked away, leaving the guy standing there dumbfounded.

“What just happened?” He murmured.

Just as you were about to go off and find Rosie, feeling that she was taking longer than usual to come back, she entered the aisle, looking very serious. She stopped in front of you. “Rosie?” You questioned, then the candy packages she held garnered your attention. “ Oh, are you interested in those? Do you want to try them? They're a little sour, but I’ll get them for you.” You smiled at her, relieved nothing bad happened, and found her behavior endearing.

You put them in the basket before informing her you were done shopping, the two of you making your way to the self-checkout. She trailed behind you like a puppy (yes, the reference again), grinning so hard her cheeks began to ache, feeling accomplished and happy beyond belief. She smiled at me again! And she knew it was something she wanted to see a lot more, a sight that made her heart speed up.

…

You arrive home with arms with multiple bangs strung on them. You unlock the door and let Rosie in first, instructing her to put the bags on the dining table. As she’s doing that you make one trip to the kitchen with bags, put them down, then go back for the last of them.

You’re just outside your door frame, bending down to reach for the bags, when the wind gets knocked out of you, and your arm is pulled behind your back. “What–” Your leg is swept from under you and you fall to the floor with a thud, a hiss leaving your mouth, a pounding beginning to resonate behind your skull. You groan, feeling pain throbbing where your body made contact with the ground.

A shiny black shoe invades your vision, and you hear a woman's voice.

“Where’s Rosé?” She demanded, and you had a feeling it was something you were expected to answer, but you didn’t have it in you to care.

“What?” You murmured, blinking rapidly, trying to get a grip. There was a weight on your backside, keeping you down, and you figured its whoever is wearing those black shoes. Must be a tough guy.

Hah.

“Don’t play dumb, human,” came a gruff voice. Ah, so there were really two people.

"Aren't we all human here?” you mumbled, finding what he said weird. This smart comment earned you a tug on your arm, which was already pretty far pushed behind your back. You yelped.

You heard a sigh of frustration. The woman spoke again, “Get off of her, KK.”

Just as he was removing himself off of you, rapidly approaching footsteps were heard, and a body shoved him away, running to your side. “Rosie?” You furrowed your brows. She should go back inside, you didn’t know if these people were dangerous or not. Nonetheless, she helped you sit up, and you did so with a quiet hiss, meeting her frantic eyes. She checked you over, and when she deemed you okay she whipped her head to the side and glared at the woman and her bodyguard. And what a mean glare it was; you’ve never seen that look on her.

The feline-eyes woman appeared shocked at the action, and in a meek tone called her name. “R-Rosé? What— why are you...?”

Why is she protecting you? Her captor. You’ve done horrible things to her.

The woman looked unsure, confused.

“Um…” Your uncertain voice disrupted Jennie’s train of thought and her eyes flickered to you, something akin to annoyance passing through them. She glared at you with such ferocity you thought you might actually see flames emitting from her eyes. You winced internally; you don’t even know this woman (Rosie seemed to, though) and can tell she already hated you. “You two seem to know each other, right? Why don’t you take this inside?… I don’t want to bother my neighbors.”

#biscuitblinkeu #blackpink x reader #fanfic #blackpink #rosé x reader #rosé x fem!reader #park chaeyoung x reader #park chaeyoung x fem!reader #the little mermaid.biscuit

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hollowtones · 7 months

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I've been thinking of getting into oldschool runescape, but I don't have any friends who play it. I like watching videos of it on youtube, but that doesn't give the best idea of what it's actually like to play. So I wanted to ask, what is it that you enjoy about the game and why?

Graphical and sound limitations are played with in fun ways. Quest design is largely very fun. It feels like an old 90s point and click adventure game but also you can go online people-watching at the same time. I can play it as a largely-solo experience, which... kind of makes it feel not very much like an MMORPG, in a few regards? But sometimes you get to have a chat with strangers while you fish or butcher weird tongue guys, and sometimes that's nice.

There's a very large amount of somewhat esoteric mechanics that all kind of intermingle with each other in mostly interesting ways, and I like when games do that if the mechanics are fun to engage with. (It's part of why I enjoy stuff like "Warframe" for the same reasons others find it intimidating or overwhelming! I like having a big box of toys to play with and going "okay I will play with my trucks today & tomorrow I might play with my dolls"!) It's an itch a lot of games don't scratch because deciding "we're going to make something old and rough and clanking and massive and complex & then we're throwing you in to figure it out amongst yourselves" is daunting and difficult to design and largely a product of Many Many Years Of Being A Video Game. But it works well here in my experience. I think it helps that all the individual pieces of how content works, & how you control the video game (it's all point and click babyyyyy) are all relatively simple to grasp.

You can go wherever the fuck you want and engage with whatever contents of the game you want in any particular order. It's a sandbox! There is no real concrete end of the game! There is no overarching goal unless you want there to be one! The game is either done when you want it to be or it's done when you have done literally everything there is to do in it. (It feels like the antithesis of "Final Fantasy XIV" in a way? That one's designed to be a traditional JRPG linear structure that's built around multiplayer / social mechanics. It's interesting contrast IMO.) And that's cool! And doing any individual bit can feed into unlocking other things, or providing resources for other tasks or challenges or goals, but you can also just decide "I just want to fish and that's it" and there's a lot the game does to support that and make that as compelling and engaging as you want it to be! Some of that's going to be a grind, but the grind (improvement over time, the celebration of labour and hard work for its own sake, learning a trade or a skill or a hobby) is kind of the point. The grind isn't going to be for everyone and that's fine. It's for me. I respect it being so unflinching in being the sort of video game that it is.

This is a sidebar (and a low bar at that) but I also appreciate it not being crammed full of microtransactions and advertisements. LOL

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bthump · 10 days

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there's this thing going around on twitter of "evil anime characters" or whatever which includes Griffith, a couple villains and a couple completely normal guys that didn't do anything bad, and people keep saying that they're comparing the normal ones to a rapist and I just find that stance on Griffith's character so diminutive. The entire Berserk fandom seems to be completely unwilling to engage with his character in any way that isn't hating him over one scene. I feel like Miura really missed the mark on the eclipse rape for many reasons, but when it comes to Griffith, making him do what is universally recognized as one of the worst things you can do to someone else, which writers (including Miura) often use as shorthand to indicate someone is irredeemably evil, just invited fans to despise him completely. It's just frustrating to see his character, which I find very interesting and compelling, being reduced to a generic cruel caricature because of a poor writing decision. It's like people blame Griffith himself as if he's a real person that chose to do what he did instead of thinking of why he was written to do that and how it affects the story. I fear we have death of the author'd too close to the sun and now everyone in fandom treats characters like people instead of devices through which someone tells a story. Idk I don't have a question or anything lol, this is just something I think about and wanted to commiserate over I guess? I love your metas btw!!

Thank you! Yeah I kinda feel this.

I think there are different cultural expectations in terms of how rape is treated in media, both in North America vs Japan, but also in like the mid 90s vs now honestly, that make the Eclipse rape not as character-breaking a scene in context.

But at the same time considering the amount it's been downplayed in NeoGriffith's narrative, as well as iirc Miura mentioning that he has regrets re how far the Eclipse went (though this might be in reference to killing everyone else off lol, I don't quite recall the complete context), I do think it's kind of become the elephant in the room in a way that feels legit pretty awkward lol.

And yeah it's definitely a major part of why the English-speaking fandom is so bonkers about how they react to Griffith lol, and it's frustrating that people refuse to like, read the story beyond that.

Idk, basically yeah ia that it's annoying lol. Thanks for the ask!

#ask #anonymous #b #theme: fandom

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the-possum-writes · 5 months

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Hiiii!! I just finished watching AT again, and i been loking for some FinnxReaderxFern fics, and i read ur at content and i just love it.So i was hopping if i could request a fic where Finn and Fern has this, confrontation? Jelousy talk? about each other's feelings about reader!!

You can Say no if you don't wanna do it, but i would really apreciated<3.

[Confronting their feelings about you]

❥Character(s): Finn, Fern

❥Tags: SFW, canon typical violence, expressing emotions, gender neutral pronouns for the reader

❥Synopsis: What started as a simple afternoon dedicated to cleaning turned into a short lived but intense knife fight when you came up as a conversation topic.

❥Wordcount: 1000

❥A/N: I want this gress boy to heal so i'll take whatever chance i get to write him learning to overcome his Finn jelousy.

❥Taglist: @foxpearlwilder

Today is a typical day for the guys; a knife storm has just passed, so they are calmly brushing away the residual weaponry from clogging the top of the treefort, like they do when there is hail or dry tree leaves. "There's less daggers compared to last time, makes ya wonder why huh Fern?" During the cleanup, Finn speaks aloud, the idea circling through his mind a few times

"Hmm, probably because of climate change." Fern disputes bluntly.

Finn pauses in his sweeping to glance up at the sky, contemplating to himself before offering his own two cents. "Or is it because the knife god is dissatisfied with the number of swords and knives forged this year? That the sword-smiths probably have a secret society where they sacrifice things in exchange for good materials." The longer the human boy rambles, the more Fern is interested by the explanation and begins unironically contributing his own perspective.

"What if the knife god sends us knives to test if they're nice and sharp?" The offer compels Fern to stop sweeping as well, although his reason for doing so is more of a curiosity to see if his human brother can figure out what he is thinking about. With them still being the same guy, Finn shares that challenging expression in his eye.

Fern swoops down and throws a knife at Finn, but the boy rolls to the side and retrieves a knife from the ground just in time to deflect the second knife thrown at him. Fern attempts to continue throwing blades at his playmate, but he only draws closer in range, forcing Fern to sidestep the pointy jabs directed at him as he grabs his own knife, and they begin sparring right there with the brooms long forgotten. They go at it for a while till Finn notices the sun leaning over the horizon and remembers something.

"Okay okay that's enough, let's wrap this up before the sun goes down."

"Got somewhere to go?" Fern asks as he hops from side to side, still energized from the spar.

"Yeup, a friend wants to collect kelp samples for a college project and I promised I'd help."

"Kelp samples?" Hah! That's boring..." His smile faded. "Wait.. you talking about the biology student that's always cooped up at Turtle P's library?"

Finn confirms, "That's the one." While the human boy skipped happily at the thought of you, Fern's jaw tightened as he felt an unpleasant stir in his chest. Finn had his back to Fern and was in the process of picking up his fallen broom when a knife imbedded itself just next him, missing his palm by only an inch.

"Who knowsss what kind of trouble you'll sstumble into when you're out there collecting kelp sssamples, you could get ambushed by kelpies or banditsss," the grass boy explains with a low tone and a snake whisp in his tongue before his voice shifted back to normal. "They are my friend too! and the last thing I want is to find out they got hurt because you weren't able to help. Now, pick up that knife and show me you can protect them from anyone and anything."

Finn considers the challenge, normally he'd never say no to one but he's grown familiar enough with Fern's mood swings to know it's that darn octopus messing up his head again, but if there's any best way to get it out of his system it's by sparring. With that goal in mind, Finn acepts the challenge even though it means fighting Fern when he's at his "most intense". The duel starts just like the previous one but the longer it went on the more Finn came to realize it no longer had the same playful approach as before, it became all the more apparent whenever Fern purposely scratches at him every time he left opening rather than playfully bump him with the butt of the dagger.

"They're my friend I'd never let anything happen to them!" Finn grinds his teeth as their blades collide.

"I knew them way before you did, i was gonna ask them out... before..." Fern stutters for a second, giving Finn the opportunity to kick him in the back of the knee and knock him down.

"Before you turned into a sword right?" Despite the takedown, Finn's tone softens as he assists his brother in standing up. "So that's what has you all jumbled up. Fern, remember what I said about bottling up your feelings?"

"That I should use my words." He nods like a scolded child.

"How about you share'em with me?" Finn held Fern in hug before giving him a much needed squooze.

Fern sighs. "You know more than anyone why I like them. And when I heard you were going out with them I guess I got a little jealous."

'Right just a bit,' Finn thought, but didn't dare to speak it out and upset his grass bro. "Have you considered asking them out yet?" The human youngster suggests, "You know, like on an actual date and not just collect samples." It sounds simple enough to him, but Fern's inner struggle makes it not so simple.

"I did. But after the whole "I turned into a sword and then the grass disaster," I had a feeling that they wouldn't even want to look at me." Fern deflates and drops down Finn's grip while he explains, but Finn holds him up again.

"Well, you'll never know unless you try it out!"

Fern turned his head in the direction of his human counterpart. "What? But what about YOU? I am sure you have a crush on them."

Finn scratched the back of his neck. "I mean, I do. They're really amazing with the knowledge they have about a bunch of stuff, however... I've already dunked on my other relationships, if anything I'll probably ruin this one too."

For once, Fern sees a part of himself in Finn that isn't just superficial similarities; the hesitance and self-doubt are all too familiar, and despite the little devil inside him telling him to exploit Finn's weakness, he instead tries to encourage him. "Finn, you're a great shot ."

A knock on the door and a doorbell ring from below the tree fort, followed by your familiar voice asking for someone to open it. The two brothers exchange glances before Fern breaks the silence. "How about we each take our shot and let them decide?" he asks, offering a peace deal with a handshake.

"Sounds good."

#finn the human x reader #adventure time x reader #fern mertens x reader #fern mertens #finn mertens #reader insert

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utilitycaster · 2 months

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I’m not sure if you have seen this theory but what’s your thoughts on “the raven queen could be Ludinus’s mother”? I’ve seen it float around on twitter and honestly, to me, it seems a little far fetched.

I have, and I agree with you.

I guess the best way to put it is that there's a lot of theories about Ludinus, and that's extremely valid, but I've found that people are extremely weird about these theories in a way I haven't really seen elswhere.

Personally, I find the idea that Ludinus is lying about most of his past - that he is just a guy from immediately-post-Divergence Issylra who moved to Molaesmyr, destroyed it in an attempt to commune with Ruidus, and established himself as a permanent fixture in the relatively young Dwendalian Empire in order to further his ultimate goals - is by far the most compelling. It feels extremely real for someone with grandiose designs to deliberately invoke an idealized version of the Age of Arcanum that was destroyed; we see this all the time in real life appeals to classical Western antiquity from would-be dictators. I also think he is, in many ways, not sympathetic per se but very...human (well, elven) for being frustrated at having to gather information of this time he believes to be lost and far better than today piecemeal, from whatever scraps remain. I think if he had firsthand knowledge but still took 800 years to figure out what the fuck to do? He's less clever and less heartbreaking and somehow, despite not lying about his age, far more of a windbag.

However, this is just my preference! It's also entirely possible he is from pre-Calamity. And here's where I start to get less generous. Because pre-Calamity? Totally fine. He insinuates that he is. He does so in the same conversation in which he insinuates he is Ruidusborn, which we know he isn't, and it's implied that not many people have caught on to his age (indicating that he probably appeared pretty young when he arrived in Molaesmyr) and since his device appears to have possibly been invented in Molaesmyr my gut feeling is that he was either a child during the final years of Calamity or immediately after. That's just a gut feeling. He easily could be older.

The thing is, literally all we have is "might have been around pre-Calamity" and it feels like people treat two very common specific theories - that he is from Aeor, and that he is the son of the Raven Queen - as fact, when all of the Ludinus theories are purely vibes-based. All we can say with any confidence is "older than he looks, definitively over 500 and almost certainly over an elf's natural lifespan of 750."

Re: The Raven Queen theory, what personally strikes me as far-fetched is that the Raven Queen's original name is lost, but who she was was not lost. She taught Patia. Wouldn't people...know that Ludinus was her child? Like, I suppose the answer can be "Matt didn't want to give spoilers away" but it feels like it raises questions about EXU Calamity that in all the discussion of people interested in ascension, the fact that the Raven Queen had a son doesn't ever once come up. And if he were a secret? That's also a question! And if he were the child of the now forgotten deity of death? What does that mean for him? Wouldn't he be a demigod, probably, of sorts? Can the gods reproduce? Was he the Raven Queen's child with some random guy? It's not that it's not possible, but I feel like boiling his stuff about the gods down to "Mommy issues" is reductive, far less interesting, and it raises more questions than it answers which is always in my mind a sign to steer clear of a theory.

And then there's the Aeor part, which just...I don't actually know where this comes from because if he were the Raven Queen's son it's pretty clear he'd be from Avalir, as she was all but stated to be, but people seem to treat these two things as both true sometimes. I feel Aeor feels far-fetched specifically because I think he'd have been far more able to rebuild Aeorian tech if he was from there. I suppose it's possible he was just a mediocre schmo while Aeor still existed, and has taken on a last survivor, must reclaim the glory of "city that was about to nuke another city simply as a weapon's test" mentality; but also, Aeor expeditions are relatively recent in the timeline of Post-Divergence Exandria. You think this man couldn't have popped up there and taken a leisurely look at the ruin of the Malleus Factorum any time before the past 60-ish years, before Uthodurn started poking around? Why didn't he mention Aeor in his notes in Molaesmyr? Again, more questions are raised than answered, and that casts doubt for me.

So it's hard for me to be objective here just because I find so much of the "Ludinus is pre-Calamity" theorizing to be just...really humorless and brittle and presumptive, and often not terribly interesting. Obviously if we get a definitive answer, and he is the child of the Raven Queen or is Aeorian (if he's both I'm going to roll my eyes because that's just sloppy, Matthew) or even if he was just a guy from pre-Calamity and not terribly important, I'll incorporate that into my understanding! But there's this childish demand that everyone treat what is ultimately an unconfirmed theory as immutable fact. I've seen people act like shitposting about Ludinus is somehow offensive because it violates their personal headcanons, and that's just peak main character behavior on their part. The idea that Ludinus is 800 and deliberately building a cult of personality rooted in the idealization of the Age of Arcanum (while conveniently ignoring that this age was when the Prime Deities -and only the Prime Deities - walked the earth; and that life outside the flying cities was rather less idyllic and wizard-run, and that the titans were still sealed away) is no less valid than the idea that he's 1200 and the son of the Raven Queen and/or from Aeor. All we know for certain is "definitely has been active and accounted for for over 500 years, almost certainly more, is definitely extending his lifespan through eating fey souls."

#answered #Anonymous #critical role #ludinus da'leth

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sauntervaguelydown · 4 months

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Sorry I have to talk about Mamo again.

Fujiko compels me in this movie more than in any other part of the franchise. it’s the particular tension she has with Lupin that does it. Not just the fact that she ultimately is trying to give him the gift of immortality; not even the fact that she doesn’t want that if he doesn’t also take it. It’s more. It’s weirder.

The Lupin/Fujiko thing is so CRUNCHY. It’s like…. What they have going on is something he won’t explain to the boys and doesn’t want them to know about. He obfuscates when they ask in the car. “Women and work don’t mix”, he says, which means nothing and isn’t even true. “You don’t want to hurt her”, they accuse him. He refuses to engage.

When he chooses her over them, in the desert, he spends the next hour or whatever alone with Fujiko pissed as fuck at her and giving her the cold shoulder. It’s so interesting! He’s “dissolving the partnership” and talking about business when he tells the boys to fuck off. Putting them at the maximum distance. Saying “we’re not friends, you can leave me any time, but right now I’m leaving YOU.” Because Fujiko is asking him for help. He KNOWS that she’s been lying to him. And his response to having to choose between his friends and Fujiko is to actively drive his friends AWAY, to be a total dickhead, when he could probably have managed to keep Jigen with him at least.

And then instead of cosying up to Fujiko, he sits there sulking about how she’s messed everything up. But he still chose her. Not even to get anything from her, at least not in the immediate sense, because he’s just! Sulking! In the window!! And he’d probably go on doing that all night if she didn’t start talking about making it up to him.

And I’m not sure about the original Japanese but in the dub, there is also an interesting moment of addressing the elephant in the room when he points out that she seems to want him to adore her but not to be attracted to her. In a lot of sexist media, the mysterious-ness of women is taken for granted—obviously you can’t understand women, so why bother trying. I find this interesting because it pulls that into the text, and does make you wonder what Fujiko actually wants, and whether it’s something that might actually make sense from her perspective. It’s not like no media has ever done this before, it’s just… when his weird relationship with her is SO front and center to this movie, and when it’s contrasted directly before with him choosing her and being MAD about it, and then later with her role in the immortality stuff…

She’s not using him, at least not entirely—she’s not JUST stringing him along to get him to get immortality out of it. She wants to live in the same world as him forever. She obviously loves him.

“How long has it been since we were alone together like this”, she says

“Long time”, he says.

They were alone together at the beginning of the movie, when he tried to give her flowers, so that’s not what she means. “Very long,” she agrees. What does she mean?

There’s this big strange untold space in their shared backstory that is being gestures at, and you know there’s SOMETHING there, but you don’t know what.

#how the fuck did I write all that #about THIS MOVIE #lupin iii #the mystery of mamo

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lambcow · 4 months

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My Plan for the Upcoming Twilight TV Show so that it's actually Good

I heard recently that they're doing a Twilight TV show. The rights are out there at the very least. Who knows when it will happen and what network will produce it where, but it's going to happen.

But here's my thing - they're going to do it wrong if they do it the way I think they will, which is anything like the timeline of the Books/Movies. As a hardcore Twilight fan (yes I'll admit it, I spent a long time in fandom as a preteen, okay? It was my first online fandom and the first fanfiction that I wrote) I have Opinions(TM) about how to make the show in a way that would make it interesting. Stephanie Meyer had interesting ideas and I stand by this! There's a lot of untapped potential in the series and I think if they did it right it could be a really, really cool show! But there's not much going on if we just rehash the same events of the books over again at an episodic level.

No.

I present to you, not the TV show "Twilight", but the TV show "Cullens", which starts off with Carlisle Cullen as he has come to America when he finally starts to build his Coven.

This is NOT the story of whiny Bella Swan and her falling in love with Edward and becoming a vampire over 4 books or 5 movies, but rather the story of a man who has already spent over two centuries as a vampire, struggling because of his love for humanity as he finds purpose and meaning as he builds his family. We follow his story as he collects his coven.

We truly open on the show when Carlisle finds Edward dying of Spanish Influenza and decides to turn him for humanity's sake because he would die and because he as a man is lonely and this boy is so young, only 17, and Edward's mother begs him to do whatever he can to save her son and who knows, maybe Carlisle's been watching him and he sees him like a son already too. Maybe we get flashbacks to Carlisle with the Volturi for those 20 years he stayed with them in Italy back in the early 1700s, who knows. The fact of the matter is, that Carlisle is a doctor at the hospital where Edward is, and for whatever reason that we as an audience are compelled to understand in this first and important episode is Carlisle is finally done being alone and craves family and Edward resembles that for whatever reason, so Carlisle gives in and turns him. The next several episodes are an arc about their relationship as we deal with newborn Edward. We know how hard it is to adjust to being newly turned. After he calms down, Edward then has to confront his mortality and that of his family, we see him start to remember his family and confront those memories. More flashbacks to the Volturi as Carlisle explains what being a vampire is to Edward etc.

We follow the pair then as they travel around with the cover story that Edward is Carlisle's nephew. It's three years later when Esme enters the picture. What we know already is she attempted suicide and Carlisle turned her to save her - and that they have history since Carlisle treated her for a broken leg some ten years prior when she was 16 years old. Fast forward to now and she's gone through an abusive marriage where she ran away from her husband several times, most recently after getting pregnant, and has just lost her baby due to a lung fever. At her wit's end with all of it, Carlisle finds her after she jumps off a cliff attempting to end her life. They end up falling in love and getting married after she is turned. That's several episodes I'm sure. GREAT ARC. But Esme struggles with blood lust, which is a great transition into the conversation for what happens just a few years later with Edward...

We can tie more vampire politics into the show (especially the Volturi into it) when Edward goes through his Ripper phase when he decides he doesn't want to drink animal blood like Carlisle teaches him. The two fight but what can Carlisle do? Maybe there are other vamps around as well to cause extra drama. Who knows? It is a TV show, after all. He goes off on his own and that's a whole plot. I'm sure the network could find some interesting ways to make this dramatic for a few episodes and keep enough plot points alive. Add in some new OC's and side characters. Remember the Denali clan? When do they start being formed? There's not a lot of context on them, just that they're close with The Cullen's. Maybe we get some of their story and interaction here. Maybe Sasha (the original leader who was killed by the Volturi for creating an immortal child) reaches out to Carlisle at some point near the beginning and this is when they all become vegetarian vampires together before the whole Denali clan is formed too.

Fast forward to when that arc is resolved. Edward is back with Carlisle and Esme and the peace is back. Now, we get Rosalie... Now, the thing with Carlisle, is he doesn't turn people just to turn people. He's very moralistic. We learn that all the time about his character. I'm sure our little trio has traveled on from Chicago and is in New York where they encounter Rosalie Hale who was assaulted nearly to death by her husband and all his buddies. Carlisle is somewhat of a matchmaker here and hopes Rosalie and Edward can keep each other company for their immortal lives... it makes me wonder what episode and background we can throw into the show here. Did Carlisle know this girl in any other capacity? Why are his dad senses tingling about Rosalie anyway? That's gotta be an arc.

Anyway, turns out Rosalie is not only not interested in Edward, but she's only really interested in staying with the Cullens because being alone forever would get lonely, so she stays with them... but that's after her revenge arc because Rosalie Hale is a certified Bad Ass. She goes after her Fiance and all his Dude Bros and takes them all out, and I can just imagine her executing this flawlessly as a vamp. I do wonder if Edward reads her mind about her plans and asks if he can help her, though. Eventually, she gives in and it's Sibling Bonding(TM) at its finest. It's this bonding that convinces Rosalie to stay with the Cullens after all, and that's that.

Next, we get Emmett. Now, this is a fun one! Because we get Emmett who starts pining over the gorgeous Rosalie Hale when they move to this new place. I'm not sure it says where they are, but I digress. Do we have a bit of the Bella/Edward vibes here? Are there warnings of "don't let the human close"? Is this around the time when we've just had the Denali arc and are reminded of the human child being killed? Is Carlisle having flashbacks? What is the drama? Make it interesting, TV people! Is Edward mad that Rosalie is flirting back? Is it harmless? Who. Knows. -- But then, it doesn't matter because Emmett is getting mauled by a bear in the woods and... wait, why is Rosalie even there? Why does she even find him? Hmmm, seems like she's following him around protectively ;) well- whatever the reason and drama, Emmett is near dead and she saves him and brings him to Carlisle to be turned. The reactions of the coven... the reactions of the town, of his family, of his friends, the drama. Make it interesting, once again, people! This is TV gold! It's cliches and everything you want for TV, c'mon! And then, of course, since they were already practically in love already, they really can be together, but now they have to leave because Emmett is supposedly dead and the Cullens are complicit in that for some reason too perhaps. So they get out of dodge and where do they go now?

If you guessed Forks, Washington, you're right. It's the first time and it's time to get into the legends and deal with The Wolves(TM). It's all about the Quiluetes and it's time to make a treaty with The Pack(TM). Ephraim Black is Jacob's great-grandfather and the leader of the tribe. Whoooa boy. I can think of sooooo much they can do with this,. And just how long do the Cullens stay in Forks the first time around? It's a whole arc. Maybe it's a season. We get some good wolf content. We get some pack dynamics. It's great. We get some beef between Rosalie and the wolves maybe, because there's obvious dislike between her and the wolves later and it's gotta be for a reason more than just their smell, I know it. So, several episodes there. Maybe even some fighting. I know it ends with a treaty, but that's not easily won. Maybe it's Rosalie they found first and one of the wolves attacked her before they were able to make talks for peace. Yeah. I can see this season being really fun.

So, after all that goes down, maybe there's something with the Volturi? Something with the Denali? They do end up staying with the Denali Coven for a time. Maybe they go somewhere else for a little while after they've overstayed their welcome in Forks. Sometime around the 1940s they leave. During the 1950s Jasper and Alice wander upon them and at this point, I fully believe we would get a several-episode arc of Jasper's origin story with the Civil War and the Newborn Army - but they've gotta make it interesting somehow, so there's gotta be a parallel conflict in the timeline that makes it relevant, like I keep saying, make it interesting. Who knows where the Cullens are living right now at this point, but there's crazy everywhere and they're vampires they're practically magnates for danger and chaos. Make something up. Family drama, vampire drama, whatever you need. Where are more of those OCs. And don't forget! We have all the covens and vampires from the battle in Breaking Dawn that we can draw on at ANY point in the show for extra vampires to make any of this interesting as well! Make. It. Make. Sense. How does Carlisle know everyone all the time??? Add spice, add interest, and make the Cullens well-connected in a way that makes sense!

Once we get through Jasper's origin story, we get how he and Alice met, which of course is that Alice saw him in a vision. Alice is such a fun character.

And what do they do in the interim 60 years until Bella? Um, not really sure, but we can find some filler or we can time skip. Not like we haven't been doing that anyway. I also have this vague idea that the whole first few seasons are vaguely a la How I Met Your Mother where they're always telling the story to Bella or Renesmee or someone anyway -- oooh telling the story to Ren would be cute actually... that has potential. Grandpa Cullen telling his granddaughter about how all the family got together. That's adorable, whether you like Renesmee as a character or not. Tell me I'm wrong... Anyway, so then maybe it's like, "So what about mom?" or something and we jump to the actual plot of the Twilight books.

But we don't just get the Twilight books, we get the full in-depth. We get the shifters in La Push full with Emily and Sam and Quil, Embry and Jake, and Paul and all the bois, we get the whole story from Bree Tanner on the side as that develops. We get random check-ins with the Denali clan, because that's relevant! We get Edward's perspective on things as well when he meets Bella and how he runs away to the Denali clan because he's dead lusting for her blood! We get complex feelings and all the arguments about it! We get Rosalie and Edward fighting because isn't she being hypocritical about Bella?

We get the Volturi and more drama from the throne room as they learn about the Cullens and their drama just like we have been following Volturi drama on and off all series long. We know the personalities of Caius and Marcus and their dynamic with Aro. We've already heard the origin story of Jane and Alec and we know how brutal the terror twins are. We get the Volturi women Sulpicia, Athenedora, Chelsea, Heidi, and Renata. Don't even get me started on Demitri and Felix and my headcanon of their epic friendship. So, yeah, Volturi stuff.

All of it comes to a head at the final battle in Breaking Dawn just like we know but with so much more meaning than ever before because of the rich history we have from seasons upon seasons of "The Cullens" or "Cullen" or whatever you end up calling this show. It's amazing, it's beautiful, we've laughed, we've cried, we've become a family over and over again and Carlisle has a family and this is his family and he is happy.

Will they make it like this? Probably freaking not, but this is my one request to the universe. Don't make a "Twilight" TV show. Make a "Cullen" TV show.

Please.

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