#you could probs figure it out I have mentioned it on my blog a few years back

[passionartx]

Hi!! Firstly, I LOVE your Tangled AU, so glad to see Tails getting more focus in AU’s. I wondering: Do you have any general Tails related headcannons?

Hiya! 💛✨ Thank you so, so much! And ooo this is such a fun question. Tbh, I have too many, I could write an essay! This account isn’t as popular as my au blog since I’m pretty inactive on it so probably only like 3 people will see this… but I hope those hypothetical 3 people enjoy my inevitable waffle and chaos! <3

Will also use this opportunity to hype up some friends and people who’s work I admire!!!

A few of my favourite Tails Headcannons! :

- I love the idea that him and Sonic were 4 and 11 when they first met.

- Sonic will always be Tails’ big brother first and foremost… however, as Aosth Tails put it: “You’re my mom, you’re my dad and you’re my picket fence!”. Sonic having accidentally become the closest thing Tails has to a parental figure has a hold on my heart and I love how writers like @chaoxfix and my homie @myyla-x portray this in their fics!

- After having first met (and honestly even a few years in) if Sonic ever had to leave Tails alone for a while for whatever reason, maybe to protect him from a particular battle, Tails would deal with hardcore abandonment issues. Poor lil guy would fear Sonic wouldn’t come back, that he didn’t want him around anymore (which is made 10 times worse if you headcannon he was abandoned by his parents). Lil guy wouldn’t know what to do with himself <\3

- Tails reminds Shadow of Maria. Probably my favourite Tails headcannon! Though I guess it’s more of a Shadow headcannon… am I using this as an excuse to talk about it? More likely then you’d think. But ahh, those blue eyes, yellowish fur, sweet gentle childlike wonder, love of life and learning + Ian flynn has confirmed given her upbringing Maria was prob a bit of a science kid. Ah <3 Plus that brings the idea of Sonic and Tails’ dynamic reminding him of his with Maria’s and that makes me want to cry. I actually have a WIP fic about this headcannon but it’s been a wip for like a year… hopefully one day I’ll finish it cause I’m literally obsessed with the idea and want to see it through.

^ Also extra nostalgic about this headcannon cause my friendship with @sh-0-w-1-sh literally started cause they were looking for art ideas and I was like TAILS REMINDING SHADOW OF MARIA!!! And here we are almost a year later!

- For better or for worse he’s picked up a lot of his big bros traits. I’m talking puns, poses, that lil nose rub and foot tapping, occasional cockiness, being self sacrificial, the list goes on. Once he realises this or anyone else especially Sonic points it out, he’d probably be super embarrassed and deny it <3

Speaking of picking up habits…

- While he would definitely be scared by certain situations like this ( << the Starline issue 35 and 36 situation being a good example with other people being at risk and him not really understanding the situation or his role in it ) I think Tails would be pretty desensitised to being kidnapped or hostage situations at this point. He’d probably just find it an inconvenience more then anything or be entertained by the hypothetical villains incompetence. Me and @myyla-x had a conversation about this idea once and… it’s been like 6 months and we’re still talking about it. One day that’ll make sense. We got a lil carried away. Just a lil. Anyway someone get this kid therapy. <3

- An already pretty popular one but I felt the need to mention it cause I relate, but he gets so sucked into projects and his inventions that hours and hours can go by and he just zones out and forgot to eat… well, anything but mints at least.

- Tails is a theatre kid. :D Is this self projection? … maybe. If nobody else gets me @guiltypandas gets me <3 :,)

- I think Tails would be in denial if Sonic died. As smart and logical as that little guy is, given how Sonic has beat the unbeatable, has come back before and seems invisible… yeah. <\3 I think he’d always hold onto the hope that it would only be a matter of time until Sonic comes back… even if this time that wouldn’t be the case… my friend @whitecatindisguise actually wrote an amazing fic about this when we talked about the idea called He’s (Not) Coming Back (which if you haven’t already you should totally check out cause it’s amazing! And a heart breaking! The best kinda fic :,) )

- I think Tails has a heart of gold…but I also think depending on certain circumstances if he hadn’t have met Sonic he could have gone down a much darker path (which I guess ended up being somewhat proven with Nine in Sonic Prime!). Me and @casperangel have screamed about this too many times then I can count and it haunts me.

- Tails is a sweetie, a cutey patooty, like an adorable little house cat… but similarly (and yet again as proven thanks to Prime!) Tails definitely has a feral side. Especially if he hasn’t gotten enough sleep or gets his mints confiscated. @dunkinbublin and @studioboner ‘s accounts are absolute goldmines when it comes to Tails multitasking being an adorable lil guy and a feral lil menace!

- Tails and Tangle have sibling energy! I mean, Tails is basically everyone’s adopted little brother, Knuckles and Amy especially, but I think him and Tangles dynamic isn’t talked about enough and I’m super glad we’ve had some sweet moments with them in the comics! @pocketscribbs is feeding the Tails and Tangle nation fr <3

This was super fun! Thank you so much again for asking and I hope you have an amazing day! And if someone actually read all of this… you’re a trooper :,) <3

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

I think Chile's general character and VA work can be blamed for that tbh. Ie, a character who's already a little aggressive has, after the og game, a va that makes her come off as very aggressive, whome the anime (both) ramps up certain traits of that. And unlike for P5, which occured after what i feel like is a shift towards scrutinizing anime if games, P4's anime was a lot of people's intro to it. Which creates an image of her that, while I dint think is unfair, isn't in lined with the game.

Of course bias be known, it might just be my circles being very vague but I do feel like P5, while for different reasons, gets the fandom punching bag bullshit to a worse degree. But that's also more or less because the internet's general culture in feel his shifted for the worse, so now you have stuff like twitter blogs dedicated to mocking fans who show passion in odd ways that ultimately don't hurt anyone. Or stuff like the struggle twitter.

No not Chile. DX jdklafsj; jk jk

Yeah, as much as I like Erin as a VA, I don't like her for Chie. Tracey!Chie just hits different and is A LOT more mellow. She still had energy but not like......a sugar hyped squirrel.

Ironically her aggression is always aimed at aggressors/oppressors (or just someone wronging someone else). Take the bullies in her SL. And even then it's mostly just her getting in your face. And she only gets in your face if......I guess you could say obvious injustice happening....like bullying (or you know.....forcibly signing her up for something she is forced to do). But yeah the anime took that....fairly human level character trait and RAMPED IT UP TO THE HEAVENS ....then brought it a back down to a more manageable level for the spinoffs (a better fate than her love for meat or Aki's protein shake now-trait u_u F in the chat for Fsteak orz).

I'd argue that the feelings towards games made into anime's weren't exactly positive during P4's anime time either. I remember a lot of people being worried because it already had a stigma. THAT BEING SAID, as an adaptation representing/reflecting/trying to be accurate to the game, P4's isn't great. As an adaptation that's making changes to attempt to tell a semblance of P4's story? Esp to someone who's never played P4? It does a decent job as an entry point for people who have never played. Like it's coherent enough. Does it change vital things? Yeah. Will newcomers notice? No. Will they at least get something that resembles competent media? To them yeah. To me? I still deal with the sins every day, it's my cross to bear. u_u

P5 got lucky that Persona became mainstream and it helped make it EVEN MORE mainstream, so when it's anime rolled around everyone was calling BS on it. Shame we couldn't have......something good come out of it. (If only Daybreakers was longer u_u)

I prefer to separate the characterizations. Like I don't mind multiple, but I wanna be fair to the char I wanna judge them base off of the original characterization. Like I've read the OG .hack books from Blackrose's perspective, so I sympathize with her. But I really should play the games so I can see her original characterization (without looking through her lens). I'm afraid I might not her as much (from what other's have said) but I can still maintain a separation of "I like the novel, but the OG source I don't like her from the outside perspective). So with Chie I'd rather people be like "I hated her in the anime, tho I know she's diff in the game and I'm glad for that, but at the same time I still have the negative association with the anime counterpart so I know it's that coloring my perspective....still not gonna like her tho." And that's fine. Just stop the smear campaign, I can't take it anymore! DX She didn't do anything wrong she just kicked shadows and saved my ass let her live! *sobs*

I do agree with the punching bag thing. I do see P5 becoming more and more of a punching bag..... I.... don't have any idea why (except "cringe" *eyeroll*). I know the reasons for P4 (and I do think that was....VERY unfair for P4). It feels more like people just want to mock P5 because it's popular. I don't like that the more I see it. Obviously I'm not a fan of P5, I'll tear it to shreds every chance I feel like (like on my own terms not like....cause someone's enjoying it, that's just rude). But what I won't do is shame someone for liking it (maybe IRL I'll say it as a joke with obvious joking inflection, and I'll clarify it's a joke, but that's it). You have every right to like P5, as I have every right to like P4. We also have every right to peel back and look into both games positively and negatively.

But yeah I feel like a lot of the punching stuff is....just being jerk to fans. P4 was misinfo being spread (same can be said about the FeMC, I swear I see one more brain dead take about her music on "fitting" I'm shoving a CD player up someone's ass and using their mouth as a gramophone). It feels more like people rag on P5 cause "fans like it" and "cringe." And????? Like????? There's a lot you can say that's wrong with P5......but why.....THAT? The fans did nothing wrong. And "cringe?" Fuck that. Embrace the cringe. What are we in middle school? Oh no can't like that, Timmy the "cool kid" with all his friends dictated that's not a cool thing to like. Well *gets in close to microphone* screw Timmy and his friends, like what you want. As long as you aren't hurting anyone it's fine. And last time I checked, liking P5 won't hurt anyone.

Narrator: She says, while in reality, every time someone states they like P5, her soul gets punched.

Jk jk. I do actually still recommend P5 to people (tho nowadays I really push to play P3/4 first if that's within reason for the person...... not cause I think they are better than P5, but 1) you appreciate the Igor twist more, 2) it's easier to so the combat going forward than backward so I'm thinking that's probs more helpful but that's just me thinking of the most optimal experience in enjoying all 3 games)

"But Silly, I still like the thing but I don't want people bothering me because it's deemed cringe!" Then be like me, make a separate account and vibe. I recently got back into a thing I liked back in middle school and it's 100% deemed as cringe....like wherever you go (I don't care it's a dumpster fire, it keeps me warm and happy....it's my dumpster fire uwu). And I just wanted to vibe and enjoy the content the renaissance was getting without 1) getting bs thrown at me for liking it, 2) not flooding my main blog which is def Persona (and Megaten) themed cause y'all wouldn't want to see that.)

You just gotta curate your experience on the internet. Do what best protects your sanity.

(was gonna end it there but omg it really is annoying, I keep seeing people just being jerks to fans cause they like the game and it's like sir....your on the negative side but do you even know the actual faults of the damn game? Or are you just being a jerk because you weren't hugged enough growing up? Cause that's not a P5/P5 fan problem, that something you should get checked out instead problem >_> Have a discussion not be a fucking dick god)

I....don't know if the internet culture has shifted to a worse degree. Maybe. I do think it's different but equally worse to Tumblr's mega hivemind at it's peak. But now it's less hivemind and more EXTREMELY divided. Both bad, just different. Can't say that each experience is the same on each platform. It feels different depending if you are on Tumblr, Twitter, Reddit, Gamefaqs, 4chan, yadda yadda

[patxhwrk]

hi, i recently found your blog and omg i love your writing sm! if it isnt too weird, i was hoping to rq an imagine for zhongli tartaglia ayato and itto where the reader can use abyss magic and maybe transform too? they prob fell into the abyss like tartaglia but after they returned they just wandered teyvat instead. maybe their bf figures out when they use their powers to protect them? tysm if you do! 💙

Omg this was so interesting and fun to do!!

I never thought of this concept, so thank u for requesting it!

-ˋˏ✄— Into the Abyss

ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: Genshin Men With Reader Who Can Use Abyss Magic !

Characters: Arataki Itto, Kamisato Ayato, Tartaglia, Zhongli

Pronouns: not mentioned

.navigation. // .genshin impact masterlist.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳ Arataki Itto | Hanamizaka Heroics

It was just another day of beetle fighting for Itto

He had caught a good one this time, and he knew it

You were there on the sidelines, watching him running around, hyping himself up

He had invited one of the Arataki gang members to battle with him, and they did

The beetles wrestled for a bit, before pushing at each other and then—

"WOO! That's a win for Arataki 'numero uno' Itto!"

His beetle won!

"Did you see that, Y/n!? That was cool, wasn't it? Haha, of course it was, I'm Arataki Itto, after all!"

Smiling fondly at his cheering form, you failed to notice the approaching electro whooperflower, aiming straight for the Onikobuto in Itto's hand

You only found out when it had jumped at him, startling him, and wresled with the whooperflower for his beetle

"HEY! Back off! This is mine!"

It wasn't much of a threat as it is amusing

Until the whooperflower started using electro on Itto

"Ow! Ow, ow, OW!"

You quickly sprinted over towards them, placing a hand on the whooperflower's head before it disappeared into a cloud of abyss, stars of the night sky sparkling in and out before dissapating

"Whooperflowers are always so annoying," you said, failing to notice Itto's wide eyed stare at your hand

"YO! What was that!?" He asked, standing up and staring at you

Not in fear, but in awe

You blinked, before realizing what you had done

"It was so fukin' shiny and sparkly—like the sky! But...I haven't seen a vision like that in all my life. Do you even have a vision?"

You smiled, already exhausted

But for Itto, maybe you'd take a while longer to explain

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳ Kamisato Ayato | Pillar of Fortitude

Being Kamisato Ayato's partner meant you were protected by both him and the Yashiro Commission

But that doesn't mean you were meant to let your guard down

"You know, my dear, I don't see the need to carry such a weapon when I will be here to protect you," he teased

Shaking your head, a soft smile on your face, you adjusted the sheathed blade on your side

"Who knows, Commissioner, I might be the one needing to protect you."

"Oh? And why would I need protecting?"

You stopped on your tracks with Ayato right beside you, peering over your shoulder at the ever-so dark Chinju Forest, eyes squinted

"Because you might just miss enemies like that."

A hydro abyss mage, protected in its shield

Ayato wouldn't do much with his vision, but before he could unsheath his blade and tell you to stay behind him, you've already made your move

The abyss mage was quick, but you were quicker

Sprinting towards it and jumping over a bubble meant to capture you, you slid under its shield and sliced at the its backsiee, an abyss mark following your blade before the shield immedietly disspersed

The abyss mage fell on the ground, and before your blade can pierce it, it chuckled at you, and quickly disappeared

"Tch, they're getting faster," you mumbled, sheathing your blade and turning towards an awestruck Ayato

"Hello? Earth to Ayato?" You waved a hand in front of him, snapping your fingers a few times

He placed a hand on the back of your head, shoving your face on his chest

"Ah, to think my own partner has such strong abilities. It is truly an honour to call you mine," he said

"Although, I'd like to know, what exactly was that?"

He knows what it was, he just wanted you to say it

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳ Tartaglia | Childe

You were sparing with Childe

That was how you both usually spent on your free time

Blades clashed, his hydro swords against your iron forged one

Even if it was just sparing, you both wouldn't let your guard down

So at the feeling of another prescence approaching, even if you were both battered and bruised and worn out from the battle, you both turned towards the intruder, ready to fight

And from the trees stepped out a lone mitachurl, a shield in its hands

Probably strayed from its pact

Before Childe could take a step towards it, you were already on your feet

The mitachurl brought its shield into the air, before thrusting it down to the ground and spinning

You jumped above its head, your blade discarded onto the ground as a swirling black hole of abyss magic formed on your hand

Landing a foot on its head, you brought your hand down to the mitachurl

It let out a cry before collapsing

Your feet now on the ground, you dusted your clothes before turning back to Childe, who stared in confusion

"Uh— huh?"

"Are you alright, Tartaglia?"

His head process the events prior, and suddenly his eyes widened

"That was abyss magic, wasn't it?" He exclaimed, finally processing what had happened

"Wait... how are you faster than me!?"

It seems like he has priorities, though

"Fight me again, Y/n! I want to see what your power can do!"

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳ Zhongli | Vago Mundo

Taking a stroll around the mountains of Liyue was something you and Zhongli both enjoyed

The calm breeze that brushed past you, the birds singing songs and the beaming sun

Although you both couldn't avoid the enemies that would cross your path

This time, it seemed to be two geo vishap hatchlings, rolling on the ground and towards you both, out of your sight

But you and the geo archon knew better

Turning around, he casted a shield around you both before preparing to make quick of the geo vishaps

Before a cloud of abyss blocked his vision

He brought his arms up, fanning the cloud away before glancing at you

Beside the two geo vishaps that now lay on the ground

Your sword, which seemed to be embedded with abyss, was clutched gently on your hand

It seemed like the cloud of abyss came from you, who had immedietly brought the sword out and attacked the geo vishaps as soon as they grew near

"I didnt know you had been acquainted with the abyss, my dear," he said

You turned towards him, a bit bashful

"Perhaps I owe you an explination..?"

"Let us finish our walk, first. You can explain once we've sat down in our own home."

—PATCHWRK !

[tsukishimas-shortcake]

Relationship Headcanons

↦ Character(s): Hakkai Shiba x fem!reader

↦ Rating/Warning: No rating though there are some light mentions of abuse (if you have read the manga you are aware of what I am talking about, I’m not going very deep into it though it literally just mentions it), mentions of anxiety attacks (no detail though), fluff, not proof read

↦ Word count: 1.8k (longer than planned, sections are bolded)

↦ Your Momo’s Receipt: Hello~ I’m post yet another TR headcanon and this was requested by the lovely @strawbub I hope this doesn’t disappoint, it did get longer than planned but I enjoyed writing it. I'll prob do a part two that's more of a scenario based on your first date or something since I didn't go into it here. Please note: for those of you who don’t know my blog is currently under construction, meaning I will not be updating my masterlist for the time being.

So how did you guys meet, well mostly because of Yuzuha,

One day in like elementary you’re walking home and you see this super pretty middle school girl just like yelling at this small group of guys

The guys end up running off just because they don’t wanna deal with her or the attention she's drawn to them

Behind her was a boy, taller than her but obviously younger. You didn’t assume they knew eachother though.

The boy and yuzuha began walking in opposite directions because one was going home while the other was going to pick up something like groceries

You’re so entranced by how she stood up to them yet she’s a girl who was far smaller and you end up catching up to her, almost stepping on her heels

You end up absent mindedly following her into the grocery store and eventually she just freezes, turns, and stare directly at you

Your eyes widen since you must’ve been staring and she just goes “may I ask why you’re following me?” And you explain how cool she was earlier. She invites you over for dinner (esp since her older brother won’t be home) and figured it’d be good for Hakkai to meet someone his age

You end up going over but Hakkai didn’t come down to eat so you never actually got to meet him, though from then on you would see Yuzuha every so often, visit every other weekend or so

But no matter how often you came over the next few months, you never once met hakkai,

That was until you both reached the end of your middle school education and we’re about to begin high school

You had gone over because you were going to borrow an old work book from Yuzuha, and when you go to knock on the door the door opens before your closed fist could hit it, instead hitting a firm chest

You blush and quickly apologize but the person in front of you doesn’t move at all, doesn’t say anything and almost looks like they drifted into space with their dead stare

You assume this is yuzuha’s older brother because you’ve also never met him and you immediately turn to walk away but Yuzuha calls over hakkai’s shoulder

“Y/N-Chan! You just got here where are you going?” This was def not yuzuha’s older brother. There’s no way she’d be that happy with him around; oh my god. Realization hit, the guy who you hit (though it was more of a tap) was hakkai.

The hakkai you had only caught a glimpse of in yuzuha’s photos, never talked to or actually seen in person despite going to the same school and living in the same neighborhood

He must hate you. That’s why he avoids you. That’s def why - is what you think

Yuzuha drags hakkai back inside and invites you in; you sit down with them in the living room and watch hakkai visibly relax now that he’s inside his house, his own space, with a pillow behind him and a blanket covering his lower half, he almost curls up into it as he continues to avoid your stare

“Hi hakkai…Kun? Im L/N Y/N” you say and you see his face dead pan once again

Yuzuha can be heard laughing from the kitchen as she comes back in.

She leans over and begins explaining that hakkai literally just freezes with any interaction between him and girls who aren’t in his family

You nod, thinking maybe it’s an anxiety thing? Which is the case with you, but only because he’s been watching you since you’ve come over (not in a creepy way) wanting to and working the courage up to talk to you

The 5th or so time you came over after that encounter he was inches away from introducing himself before the house phone rang causing everyone to kind of “wake up” in a sense

Every time since then he gets closer and closer but isn’t able to say anything; he even realizes he has a crush on you.

The way you sit when you do homework and how cute you look when you’re focused.

How your forehead scrunches up when you’re trying to figure something out and you end up just sitting back with a small huff followed by yuzuha’s signature laughter.

It’s also a huge thing that you get along with Yuzuha.

So enough with first meeting time for the confession.

He ends up confessing accidentally. He didn’t know you were coming over to begin with so he was flustered out of his mind. And how was he supposed to know you hadn’t actually fallen asleep and you could hear him over the tv

The tv was more white noise than anything and the day was hot since it was the middle of summer causing the window to be open and the sound of soft wind and small birds to drift in; this was the hot that makes you tired so you were all sprawled out of just sitting in a daze

So while resting your head on the table you’re dozing in and out but then you hear hakkai begin to speak, something he never really did around you

Now did you and hakkai text? Yes. Did it take him an hour to reply because his brain would explode when you replied to him? Yes. But was it a start to communication? Also a yes.

You hear him say your name quietly before he moved closer, you can feel his gaze on your features

“I like you” is all he says. Simple and sweet. But you sit there in shock, trying not to blush so he’ll have no idea you heard him but he can tell because your forehead scrunches

You heard him and are focused on if you should reply or not. And he knows that.

You open your eyes and just look up at him, he’s closer than expected. His hand close to yours on the floor and he reaches over and grabs it lightly. Hoping you’ll also return the gesture by holding his hand instead of leaving your hand limp inside his.

And you do, thank goodness, and Hakkai almost mentally can’t handle it.

Once you start dating it’s more so just hanging out at his house or yours; however he talks a bit more and you text a lot more. He’s gotten better at replying. It usually takes him like 15 minutes now

He’s kinda stressed about your relationship but not due to anything you or him did

He’s stressed because of the mentality his older brother gave him

Is he even allowed to be this happy?

He finally has someone thats small enough and naive enough that he can protect you; compared to constantly being protected it’s a sudden, strong, yet good change for him

He’s touch s t a r v e d

Yes Yuzuha shows affection; but he stopped accepting her hugs when he was around 8 just because he physically wasn’t able to handle it due to his bruises and such

But with you, even with his bruises and all you take care of him. Able to coax him into using medicines and toning down the physical violence (that he can control himself)

He also finds it super soothing when you lightly brush over his scars (especially those that his brother gave him), it helps him believe that scars are only physical and can fade with help

One thing that stresses him out the most is trying to hide you from his brother. Any time you leave something at the house its easy to pass it off as yuzuha's but when it comes to things like photos he has with you, he can't hang them up, show them off, or have them as his phone Lock Screen, etc. because he just really doesn't want his brother to know and target you since he'll then know that you're his weakness (aside from yuzuha as well)

Sometimes won't explain why he can't hang out and has legit pushed you out of his house before at the last minute notice of his brother coming home

Will always make sure you get home safe though, usually by having Yuzuha go with you since then she can just say you're a friend from school

Your parents love him, though they were a bit hesitant it became a "you always have a place to stay" because they learned about their family situation from you and yuzuha. So expect him to spend the night when he's too scared to deal with his brother. Same with yuzuha. (yes I know this isn't yuzuha head canons but its hard to write for him without mentioning her when they're so close)

We're talking three person sleep overs. Yuzuha and you of course share the bed and Hakkai takes some time to even set foot in your room much less sleep on a mattress that's on the floor

He has a small heart attack every time he comes into your room because he's overwhelmed with everything, he's never been so comfortable and it makes him feel restless. Like he's never and I mean n e v e r been less stressed and slept better than when he does so in your room

The smell, the colors, just being surrounded by you is something that completely changes his mood

Once showed up after he fought with his brother, tears in his eyes and clothes a bit tattered and you just pulled him to your room, and sat down with him.

You laid on your bed with him laying down onto of you, head on your chest as you rubbed his head and only said a few words "its not your fault"

He ends up crying so hard he falls asleep and gets dehydrated and you have to make him drink a bunch of water when he finally wakes up.

NSFW

super fucking careful w you

almost annoyingly so, but you're understanding

He knows that he might be taking things frustratingly slow but he knows that since you understand and know his history that you can help him get through it

Your first time you think you'll have to call it off because he's shaking so bad

"baby... are you sure it won't hurt you?" he keeps asking.

pretty sure that's the longest its ever taken him to finish because he was so anxious

despite being so slow and hesitant, late he isn't too scared to get a bit rougher

but im not talking anything crazy im talking like he's willing to pull your hair a bit or nip a bit harder at your neck.

Please never ask him to do anything like degrade you or some type of harsh physical rough shit, he can't

like literally im 99% sure that if you ask him to choke you or something he will pass out because of the anxiety attack he would have at even the thought.

in short with nsfw though he is sweet boy. He's a switch through and through. Loves when you take care of everything because then he doesn't have to be scared of hurting you.

[bnha-butterfly]

Hi! Aaaaa it says reqs are open so? Dbdbbff could i pls request the twins suna and kita with a trans male autistic s/o? Like headcanons on how they interact with him or whatever u want really tbh jdndfnn just ignore this if i did it wrong and sorry if i was specific enough. Ty in advance!

 Kita, Suna, Atsamu, Osamu with an autistic trans male s/o

Hi hi random ask again fnfnf so u said u prob might take a while to get around to my request so i figured if i sent this ask in to give further detail it wouldnt like really screw with anything bc u havent started working on it yet? Presumably? Hdhdhf when i sent my req in i didnt really have anything specific in mind outside of general autism but! I did think of more details that i havent seen really talked about in general (in all kinda autism content and discussions ngl) so uh what do u think about adding to my request "low functioning" s/o like cant go to school or get a job bc its just so stressful and s/o cant cope type stuff (bc whenever theres autism representation its always the more "higher functioning" end of things which is like not everyones autism? Like its like that very one dimensional type of autism rep when theres so many different ways it affects ppl and - i am not going to go on a rant in an ask jesus christ im so sorry djdhfh) and dealing with some rejection sensitivity dysphroia/rsd?? Bc these are topics that dont really get covered and all fnfnfn its ok if u dont want/cant add this to my req tho im sorry for just randomly springing more details on you dhdhfb also sorry this is really long and wordy and if its hard to understand i tried to write it in a way thatd make sense dnfjf i just wanted to send this for your consideration ok ty! Sjdjfh 💚💚 💚

A/n - Just as a heads up I try to keep my blog as functioning label free as possible cus they lowkey make me uncomfy (don’t worry I didn’t have it in my rules so it's okay!) I’ll explain why they make me uncomfy/ why I hate them in a different post if anyone wants to know why. 

Kita Shinsuke

  This man always has a stim toy. Realistically he probably has a little pouch in his book bag that he carries with him everywhere that is just full of stim items. There’s a stress ball , a fidget cube and a few other things

Whenever you feel dysphoric he will literally remind you about how handsome you are. I mean like stand you in front of the mirror and point out all of his favorite parts of you

Definitely reminds you to be kind to your body and your brain cus they’re doing the best they can

If he has to cancel plans with you he always makes it up to you and tells you that he’d rather spend time with you.

Kita is so understanding and caring. He understands that school and work aren’t really an option for everyone for different reasons and he definitely understands that both are designed for neurotypical people.

Suna Rintaro

Rin keeps an extra pair of headphones on him at all times for if you get overwhelmed 

If you ever mention to him that you’re going to sleep or if he sending you a good night text he always reminds you to take off your binder

Sometimes he wants to hangout with the team and has to turn you down. He knows RSD can make turning down spending time together feel like a kick in the face so he always promises to spend time with you later and tell you he loves you

If you ever have a low spoons + dysphoria type of day he’s coming over and spending time with you in bed. He’s bringing some of your favorite snacks/drinks/food and one of his hoodies that still smell like him. 

His love language is quality time so he probably takes you on a lot of dates. Especially if they have something to do with your special interest or hyper fixation

Miya Osamu

He learns how to cook all of your safe foods just the way you like it.

Every morning you are greeted with a kiss to your temple and a sleepy Osamu grumbling a soft “good morning handsome” to you.

He understands that work isn’t really for you. But, sometimes he’ll take you with him to the onigiri shop with him to keep him company. 

This man would move heaven and earth to see you happy everyday without hesitation. 

He’s super responsive to all boundaries you have. Don’t want to be touched or cuddled a certain way? Okay. Need him to give you space after a meltdown/shutdown or on extremely dysphoria days? No problem.

Miya Atsumu

If you are nonverbal/semi verbal he definitely made you communication cards. He gave them to you for either an anniversary or your birthday and they are super well done. They’re laminated their color coated and they’re just lovely

He’s such a good listener. He could listen to you talk all day and never get tired. Whether it’s you just talking about insecurities while in bed together or him listening to you talk about a hyperfixation/ special interest you know he’s always willing to listen. 

Insecurities who??? Not with Atsumu around. If he is not kissing away your insecurities he’s making you “laugh away the bad vibes”. 

He always reminds you how much he loves you. He literally will not leave for practice until he gets a kiss and tells you he loves you, it’s gotten him in trouble for being late a few times but he always says he’d do it again. (and he always ends up doing it again)

[jimlingss]

Dear Miss Kina, it's me again! First of all, congratulations on finishing your final fanfic on this blog! It was immensely what i've been waiting and hoped for. You definitely played with my heart till the very end! It's kind of like - with every fic you've released till now from Seokjin fics to Jungkook fics - every one of them are all so perfectly crafted, every member gets so written well that sometimes time flies so fast when im reading it!

I waited, and read The End for like two hours? And it was really worth it (im wriitng this at like 3am too) like damn i was pausing every second because I was just trying to decipher whatever was happening in each scene, it was all a lot to take in because with each scenario created with the boys, it almost felt like six whole fics crammed into one! The scrollbar was really small n wasn't moving at ALL when i was reading the first few parts and i was like, "wait this feels more like a 60k than a 31k ㅠㅠ" ??? Like how??? But i was smiling as i was reading through the whole thing, to find out it was a Jin centered fic -- and honestly all of your Jin fics are godtier -- i was like "YES YES YES OMG YES I THINK I KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING" n it was real fun to guess which member went next and how the scenario would turn out.

N i really loved how smooth u incorporated both oc and Jin during each scenario, their bickering was so fun and their moments made me go "AWW WTF I WISH I WAS OC ATM" AND OMFG especially that parf where ic asks jin if he ever knew her before everything happened n the whole "like you love me" scene went down -- my mouth was WIDE open i was tearing up and i screamed so loud lmaooo omg ur like the only writer to actually make me react so violently about that ○_○ n when the scene wherein oc wakes up and doesnt see jin and rushes out, the way you wrote it, you sense the urgency and the dishevelled/rampant thoughts of hers when she sees seokjin on the floor bleeding like that and all the way to the hospital scene where she cant even talk despite feeling so sick DAMN i cant even stop staring at the screen even tho my head hurts from being awake all night (but honestly ur worth it)

Like if i had to rank the individual realities where reader ended up with, i think the one i got sadder for was the Taehyung reality -- the oc in that universe couldn't even have time for herself n gradually drowned in becoming a mother and a wife n all i could think of was "tae u should at least treat your wife >:((" n with Yoongi's i was like "whut's happening," and instead of being hurt about it i for no reason started to discuss my thoughts onto thin air "i dont want a partner like yoongi, they dont have time for e/o n thats kinda sad" n thats where i really started to guess maybe every scenario has a major downside but i had to figure it out. N then with Hoseok n Joon's i felt my heart crack a lil bit bc the oc's insecurities in that part (she felt world's apart to hobi n then inferior to joon) i was like...this is me n I DIDNT WANNA FEEL THAT WAY IN A RELATIONSHIP so then again i started to talk to myself looool. Then we have Jimin's that got me like damn :(( thats kind of harsh -- being in a reality with oc in the picture removes the fact that jimin had a stable life. And i guess with every scene you made with all members (did that intend to give me life lessons or sum uhh)

And last but not least, Jungkook's! Not gonna lie, i also thought he was gonna cheat on oc bc she mentioned she was a racer, thats the reason he was late to her bday dinner, but then the dots started to connect when she mentioned why jin looked solemn in the hospital (re: everything that i mentioned a paragraph or two before)

I do know this was loosely based on TATBILB, but as i was reading through it i found so many similarities to it. Like the BTS UNIVERSE incorporated in where Jin goes back in the last to try and desperately change the future where he is not there in order to stop people from getting hurt. And also Orange (one of my fav mangas) where Naho received letters (along with her friends) from her alternate self to save Kakeru from committing suicide, and it had the happy ending too wherein she stopped him from getting right in front the truck (tho there were mistakes that she didnt do correctly)

And that's all 😭🤧 im sorry if this ask was really long. But i wanted to say thank you for creating all of these wonderful stories! They made my day n i could still rmember finding out about you as a baby army myself so i could say you were part of my journey as a new army msksksksk. It was such a great fun time to be waiting for new fics to drop, new chapters released and announcements and funny asks to scroll through on my tl! I do hope you do well in whatever you embark on from now on and hey you'll finally get to publish a book! And i'll most likely read that too ^^ happy 5 years to the blog^^ thank you user Jimlingss, thank you Kina!

omg thank you for this amount of feedback and your extensive praise, I feel undeserving of it hahaha anyway, thank you for taking your time to enjoy the end. honestly, I was aiming for it to be a 50k fic to just really indulge you all as my last story. But as I was writing it, it turned out muuuch shorter to my exasperation. but it still stands as my longest oneshot and I think it ended up pretty great in spite of being so much lower than my intial word count goal. that being said, I'm glad it felt long to you!!

Also thank you for giving me a run down on your thoughts on the other timelines LOL it was really fun for me to think about it as well and consider what OC and Jin would've chosen had they chosen. While each had their downsides, some of them they liked more than others. since you indulged me so much with such a long message, I'll indulge you as well....OC's choices prob would've been JK > Tae > Joon > Hobi > Yoongi > Jimin. While Jin (if he could make the choice for her), it would've been Joon > Tae > Yoongi > Hobi > Jimin > JK.

I came up with the whole idea of the end. while watching TATBILB cause I thought this whole alternative reality worlds was gonna happen but nope, they took a much different direction lol and I'm happy to hear you mention Orange bc that was one fantastic manga I read!! Personally, I find the end. to be the love child between The Truth Between Us and The Seven Kinds of Love (with a sprinkle of Seven Seconds in Heaven) hahha there's definitely elements of pre-existing stories to this guy but I don't mind so much since it feels like almost a call back to them :')

Anyway thank you for the love and encouragement!! I'm sending well wishes to you too!!

[whatiwillsay]

I’m not a Tily shippers (or maybe I kinda am idk? but i’m easily convinced soooo)

I want to make a few points regarding Lily Donaldson (because I loveee a good debate). So, I saw some people said that it was not enough proof to say she dated Tay because apparently she deleted her pics after the master heist but like... I want to make some arguments lol. There was one anon in your blog, claiming that if one of their friends have beef with someone they would delete them too and so on, so that could not be proof right? Okay, I get it, it’s a valid point, but like given how they were supposed to drift off somewhere in 2017/2018 (again, according to some people in here) Like what’s the point she did THAT? Again, as far as I’m aware, she’s not THAT close on the level of Abigail or Martha (or maybe Todrick lmao?) was to Taylor? Like why would she do that? I mean, okay you could say maybe she did have some beefs with KK too before but like so far in her career I don’t see any problematic behaviours to point out that she likes to have problems with other models given how chill and introverted she was... (who knows but like have you guys try to search Lily on google? the info is too scarce lmao she is basically a huge mystery to us, so I 💯 agree when Tay said there’s a dazzling haze, mysterious way about you dear 💀💀 im kiddin, dont attackteeed me)

Personally, if my very close friends have some beefs with someone, unless it was just a casual friend of mine (which i would prob keep it neutral) only then I would delete that person out of my life too, because i’m loyal like that. You get my point? i don’t see other friends of Taylor like cara, martha, gigi did it (if they did feel free to mention). Or maybe you could say “b-but Martha, cara, gigi (insert more model friends) are a public figure soo if she deletes Karlie’s picture bla bla, that would be a controversial so of course they wouldn’t.... but like Lily is a public figure too, hello...? I know she’s supposed to be unactive anymore but she’s still a public figure you know, that would be so unprofessional of her to do that (notice how she wouldn’t make it obvious bc she still follow kk on ig, only delete their pics together). Again, she supposed to drift off from Taylor in 2017-2018 ish right? along with other supposedly ts squad?

So in conclusion, maybe (keyword: maybe) something deep going on between Tily that we couldn‘t see (given how private they are)- and by something deep, I mean they could be very close friends (which again, I really doubt it, because some of their behaviour: “suggested” they could be more, like come on, we queers, lesbians, bi, pan people just can seeee it) or maybe they did date each other, brieftly or longterm who knows (yayy).... But we’re not Taylor guys, so we don’t know what’s going on in that pretty head of hers. I’m just throwing some possibilities out there. Just because Lily is not that famous or well known, it’s just kinda sad to see some people brush her off like nahh, it could not be and they were not as loud as swiftgron or kaylor or whatever so it couldn’t be... :( like what was the relationship Tay tryna sell right now? oh yeah, private relationship with someone normal and lowkey right? (you connect the dots here 🤡) like doesn’t this make you think.... anyways, sorry for the long rant. Like I said, I’m open to any ideas. That’s the point of being a gaylor right? 😇 as long as tay is happy with girls or boys or non-binaries <3 it wouldn’t hurt to speculate if Tily ever dated (or still are who knows) bc that’s cute af.

i mean all i said was lily deleting her pics of karlie didn’t prove she had anything with taylor.  it alludes to that possibility.  but thanks for writing up your thoughts!

[langdvnshepherd]

Headcanons: Being pregnant with Duncan Shepherd’s baby (Duncan Shepherd x fem!reader)

Word count: 3.4k (let’s just say I got a lil carried away)

Warnings: fem!reader, pregnancy, morning sickness, mentions of smut, breeding/pregnancy kink, childbirth, lil bit of angst, tons of fluff

A/N: Hello everyone this is the first thing I have ever written, like ever. I am a hoe for domesticity, so this was obviously my first choice. If you have a second, please let me know what you think! I’ve only recently made a blog after months of stalking the tags on my main blog, so I’d love it if you guys can give me any feedback on whether or not this is any good lol. Also, not that anyone would...but if you guys ever want me to write anything I will GLADLY do so I am at home bored most of the time so.......let a hoe kno!

Let’s be honest, the baby is NOT planned in any way, shape, or form

Never in Duncan’s life did he see himself having kids

He always saw himself as the type of guy that would work at his family’s company and sleep around with hot girls until he died

Until he met you

You worked for a media company in D.C. that sent you to an event for The Shepherd Foundation very much against your will

He saw you sitting at the bar keeping to yourself and thought you were the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen

He made it his goal to see that you went home with him at the end of the night

But you weren’t giving into his flirting as easily as he’d hoped 

That boy tried literally everything in the book to turn you to putty in his hands, but you weren’t buying any of it

You played along with his unapologetic attempts to woo you, letting him think it was working

(It lowkey was definitely working, but you knew better than to get involved with Duncan Shepherd of all people)

You curved his ass right as he leaned in to kiss you

Turning your head away from his that was slowly moving in on yours to whisper in his ear

“It’s late, I should probably get going. See you around?” with the biggest shit-eating grin you could muster

Duncan’s face was immediately bright red

He had never been so turned on in his life at a woman playing him the way you did

He sought you out at every event he goes to after that

You’d give him a flirty wave or raise of your glass to him from across the room the next few times you saw him, always meeting up eventually to taunt each other again and again

After a torturous game of cat-and-mouse you finally went home with him one night and had the hottest sex of your entire life

He wrecked your shit

We’re talking zipper on the back of your dress is destroyed, bruises on your hips, hickeys on your boobs, you had a slight limp for a day or two

Duncan teased you as you hopped out of his bed and winced as your legs made their way across his room to grab your clothes

Since your dress was basically in two pieces after Duncan ripped it off of your body the night before, he insisted that you go home in one of his t-shirts and a pair of his sweatpants

“Gives me an excuse to see you again when you return them, right?”

You only intended it to be a one-off thing, but you found yourself thinking about him often

What it would be like to wake up next to him every day

What it would feel like to have his arm around you in public

If you two ever had kids, what would they look like?

Duncan also quickly realized that he liked you more than just for sex, which scared him

As we have discussed, the boy is only known for a quick fuck and not an actual relationship

After a handful of bootycalls, you agreed to start seeing each other more frequently 

Definitely still for sex, but occasionally just for dinner or to watch a movie at each other’s place

It took months of casual sleepovers and you each having your own drawer at each other’s apartment to come to the agreement that you were officially dating

Before you knew it, you’d been together for 5 years and couldn’t picture your lives without each other

The day you both find out you’re pregnant, he finds you in your bedroom pacing up and down the floor

Immediately knows something is wrong but you won’t give in and tell him what’s up

You finally responded to his pleading by gesturing to the bathroom with a tilt of your head – too afraid to say the words out loud just yet

Poor buddy probably had to sit down when he sees the test sitting on the counter

“What are we gonna do?”

“I have no fucking clue.” your voice barely above a whisper

You two were practically married at this point after being together for so long

Neither of you could see yourselves with anyone else

But you still had goals, both in life and in your careers

Sure, babies were bound to come

They just weren’t something either of you would have even considered for at least a few more years

Is still extremely supportive and lets you know he wants whatever you want

In all honesty, you couldn’t really think of a valid reason to not keep the baby

You still had some things you wanted to get done before settling down and having kids, but you loved Duncan and knew that he was it for you

You’d always assumed you’d have kids eventually, so having them early was just a small hiccup

But on the other hand, you two hadn’t talked about having kids apart from passing comments when you gushed over a cute baby that passed by on the street

You weren’t sure if Duncan was ready, but you knew that you could be if you had to be

Swallows hard when you tell him you want to keep it, not because he doesn’t want the baby, but because he knows his life is about to go through some big changes

Holds you close and kisses the top of your head

“I love you, okay? Whatever happens, we’re gonna be okay.”

He didn’t really know if it would be, but he loves you too much to have to think about you worrying

Looking back, that little moment in your shared bathroom was one that you both would never forget

He’s very hesitant at first but quickly warms up to the idea of having a baby with you

In th beginning, he’d grow kinda distant

He wouldn’t know how to act around you now knowing that you’re pregnant

It wouldn’t be anything too dramatic, just a few awkward silences here and there when he isn’t sure what to say or do

You two usually have a glass of wine at dinner and as he’s offering it to you he pauses in his tracks and is just like “…..Oh, right. I forgot. Never mind.” giving you a small, playful smile, but it reeked of sarcasm and somewhat of disdain

He probably makes excuses to not have sex because he doesn’t want to think about there being a baby inside of you while he’s pounding you into the mattress

He’d think you wouldn’t notice his reluctance but you would

It bothers you

Makes you second guess your decision

You were deadset at this point on keeping the baby, so maybe being with Duncan wasn’t going to work out

You bite your tongue though

You trusted that Duncan would come to you if he was ever doubting staying with you through the pregnancy

But those dark thoughts haunted you in the quiet of the night

Avoids touching your stomach for a while

Snuggling your front into his chest instead of spooning so he doesn’t have to hold your belly

The reality is still foreign and unfamiliar to him and he really just doesn’t know what the fuck to do about it

He hates that he acts this way, but he couldn’t avoid his lurking feelings

Probs doesn’t sleep well for a while

Let’s be honest he’s scared out of his goddamn mind and doesn’t think he could possibly ever be a good father but he loves you so much that he’s praying to god the idea of having a kid will get easier

Holds your hair when you’re getting your shit wrecked by morning sickness

No amount of vomit chunks could make you unattractive to him

Figures the best thing he can do in the situation is just to be there for you

He helps you into the shower to rinse off and crawls back into bed with you after

Sometimes he calls out of work when you’re feeling extra shitty just so he can be there for you

Let me drill this into your mind that this boy is  s c a r e d

I’d think Duncan switches into protective dad mode when something drastic happens like you start spotting or bleeding really badly and think you’re having a miscarriage and have to go to the hospital

That’s when reality actually hits him and he’s like there’s a baby in there that’s alive and I helped create them and after that he starts to be more comfortable with you being pregnant

Thankfully everything is good and the baby is perfect

When you come home from the hospital late that night and get into bed, he lets out a huge sigh into your hair and reaches his hands under your shirt to finally wraps his arms around your belly

Once again, he probably didn’t think you’d notice

But you definitely did

He had never really fully embraced the idea of you being pregnant, but the thought of potentially losing the baby was enough for him to get his shit together

Even though you’d barely be showing, he rubs his thumb along your stomach comfortingly until you both fall asleep

For once, he slept peacefully that night knowing that both of his babies were alive and well

From then on, he becomes a lot more loving and caring towards you and the baby

And also gets so fucking excited thinking about a mini-you or mini-him running around the house?? Sign him UP!

Keeps the ultrasound sonograms in his wallet/frames them and peaks at them while he’s working

Is probably more in tune with your pregnancy than you are

“Did you know that the baby is the size of a grapefruit now? Next week it’ll be the size of a rutabaga.”

“No, Dunc, I didn’t know that. That’s nice. Can we please go to sleep now? I’m tired.”

He used to greet you when he came home from work with a kiss on your lips

Now it’s one kiss on your lips, another on your belly

Duncan 100% talks to your stomach and no one can convince me otherwise

Especially after he feels the baby kick for the first time

You’ll both be on the couch watching some dumb re-run of a show you’ve both seen a million times and he’d lay his head down in your lap and talk to the baby while gently rubbing your belly with his hands trying to get them to start kicking

“Hi buddy! It’s your dad. Hope you’re having fun in there. I can’t wait to meet you. You get in the way of me and your mom having sex sometimes but that’s okay. I still love you so much.”

Earns a swift smack in the chest for that

You have to tell him to shut up sometimes because the baby goes nuts when he starts talking and it makes you feel like you’re gonna be sick

It’s still one of your favorite things tho let’s not play around

Most of the time, you just let him go on and on to your belly while you rub your fingers through his hair

Will literally do anything for you even if you don’t ask because not only does he love spoiling you but wants to make sure he’s doing whatever he can to help out with the baby while you’re pregnant

Wake up at 3am with a craving? He’s got his keys in his hand before you can even tell him what you want

Make a passing comment about noticing a few stretch marks? He comes home with 7 different lotions and insists on being the one to rub you down with each of them

That turns sexual but that’s an entirely different discussion for later

He hears you huffing in the bathtub about how you can’t reach your legs to shave? You bet your ass he hops in and helps you

Tries to say you don’t have to shave your legs for him and that he could care less

“Yeah, no shit. I’m not shaving my legs for you. I’m just tired of feeling my scratchy leg hair while I’m trying to sleep with no pants on.”

“…Okay….fair enough.”

Regardless of the gender, you both agree to have a neutral-themed nursey

Not only goes with Duncan’s rich-bitch aesthetic, but super girly and boyish things just don’t float your boat

You go with light shades of beige and grey

Same goes with baby clothes

Lil grey singlets with stripes and tiny little beanies and matching socks

Basically I am a hoe for minimalist, gender-neutral baby items so I am projecting that onto these hc’s

I also like to think that pillow talk becomes essential during your pregnancy

It’s the only guaranteed time you two have every day to catch up with each other, and you always talk about the baby

You talk baby names for at least 20 minutes a night until you guys finally decide on one

“What about Pearl?”

“Duncan, I am NOT naming our kid Pearl.”

He comes up with the worst names and you always give him shit for it until finally he throws out one that sticks

Is literally so proud the night he finally came up with a name that you both could agree on

You talk about the things you still need to do before the baby comes like building the dresser or picking out bedding for the crib

You always end up falling asleep mid-conversation nestled into each other with each of your hands intertwined and laying against your belly

The man’s nesting gets out of control and we all know it

Duncan comes home with a new stuffed animal every time he goes to the store

You send him to Target for toilet paper and peanut butter?

He comes back with one of every kind of those Wubbanub things he could find in the baby section

“It was just so cute I couldn’t not get it? It’s like a pacifier AND a stuffed animal? They get to have both at the same!time!”

Buying shit so often he probably gets two of the same thing without realizing

“They’re just gonna puke or shit all over it anyway? Probably better to have a backup if you ask me.”

You probably find him just sitting in the nursery sometimes, usually in the middle of the night

He’s either admiring his handiwork because he put together the changing station without looking at the directions

Or once again, trying to sooth his worries about becoming a dad

His baby is going to be home with him soon, and this will be the room where they sleep

He is a big nervous boi about it

Pregnancy sex

Duncan becomes obsessed with how big your boobs and belly get

The breeding kink,,, jumps out

He’s ridiculously hard at the idea that he’s the reason your stomach and tits are swollen

That his baby is growing inside of you

Absolutely loses it when you wear his shirts around the house

You always wore them anyway, but the fact that they used to come to your thighs and are now snug at your hips makes him wanna,,,nut

He loves grabbing your boobs even when you’re not being intimate

If you’re laying in bed watching a movie, he’s got his arms snaked around you with one resting on your belly and the other draped around your chest to grab a handful of boob

Forgets that they’re always sore and gets yelled at more than a few times for being too rough with them

At first, sex is normal and occasionally rough like it always has been

Eventually becomes extremely sensual and about being as close to each other as you can

He takes notes at how sensitive you are and ensures that you’re left a whimpering, screaming mess by the time you cum

Is over the moon that you are just as horny during your pregnancy as he is

While he gets excited about having a baby, his anxiety kicks in again as you reach the finish line of your pregnancy

It finally hits him again that oh shit….this is a real, breathing baby about to come into the world that he is responsible for

You start becoming more agitated, swollen, uncomfortable, crying all of the time

You lash out at him sometimes

He knows you don’t mean it, but it still gets to him

Has him questioning himself more and more

What if he couldn’t do it?

Starts reading a shit ton of baby books and begging you to go to classes with him

Despite his efforts, there’s really nothing he can do to make himself feel any better

He confesses one night in bed that he’s scared shitless he won’t be a good dad

Probably starts crying a little bit

You turn to face him and hold his hands close to your chest

“Listen, Donut. If you love this baby even half as much as I know you love me, I am positive that they will be more than okay. I’ll be right here with you to figure it all out. No one is good at it at first. It takes a lot of getting used to. Plus, they always say the worrying goes away the second you actually hold the baby in your arms.”

A few weeks after that, your water breaks in the middle of the night

Duncan immediately jumps out of bed to grab your hospital bag and help you put on your clothes

Holds your hand the whole ride there

Brushes your knuckles across his lips to try to calm the both of you

In a few hours, both of your lives will be different forever

Do I need to say it again?

Boy is about to shit his pants he is so scared

His heart hurts every time you cry from the pain of contractions because there’s nothing he can do

He is basically useless at this point, which he hates

All he has to offer is his hand for you to squeeze so hard it feels like the bones in his fingers might snap

When you feel like giving up, it’s finally his turn to give the pep talk

He tries his best and it comes out shaky, but he means it

“You’ve got this. You’re the strongest person I know. Remember what you said? It all goes away when you finally get to hold them. Let’s meet our baby, yeah?”

After a particularly excruciating push, your grunting is replaced by shrill little cries

Both yours and Duncan’s eyes go wide and your breath hitches in the back of your throat

The past 9 months have led up to this moment and you’re finally meeting your sweet baby for the first time

Duncan’s shaking like a leaf when he cuts the umbilical cord, unable to take his eyes off of the baby

You’re just as shaky when the nurse places the baby against your chest

Immediately you’re crying your eyes out

“Look at them, Duncan. They’re so beautiful. We did it.”

Duncan probably can’t form words right now

Probably just mumbling “Oh my god. Oh my god.” over and over

He just smiles and nods, trying to hold back tears while leaning over the hospital bed and stroking the baby’s cheek with the back of his hand

After the baby’s crying dies down, you shift over to the side of the bed

You make Duncan take the spot next to you so he can finally hold the baby

He’s hesitant

He doesn’t want to fuck up or hurt them but wants more than anything to finally meet his baby

Still kinda in disbelief that the woman who refused to go on a date with him for months turned into the love of his life had loved him enough to be currently sitting beside him in a hospital bed after having pushed a 7-pound baby that has half of his DNA out of her vagina

As soon as he takes the baby in his arms he’s overwhelmed with love and relief that his baby is here and alive and crying and kicking and he actually created a whole ass human

“Hi, love. It’s nice of you to finally show up. We’ve been waiting a long time to finally meet you.”

Doesn’t even notice, but the tears are f l o w i n g

Back then, he wasn’t sure he believed you when you said that his worries would leave him when he finally held his baby, but now he knows exactly what you meant

He’d do anything for the small bundle in his arms, and the woman lying beside him

Sorry if this is trash y’all I just wanted to give writing a shot!!! Once again pls lmk if it’s good in any capacity I would greatly appreciate it!

I guess I’ll tag some of my favorite writers? Lmao y’all I literally don’t know what the fuck I’m doing someone be my friend and teach me

@ritualmichael @langdonsoceaneyes @wroteclassicaly @thedeviltohisangel @ccodyfern @icylangdon 

[kae-karo]

Since you mentioned being in the mood for asks: I think I like my best friend. She knows I'm not straight. But has never actually said she's not straight but has discussed possibility of her sexuality being fluid? She doesn't open up to anyone. And so it's really hard to understand her feelings and I am always afraid of crossing the line by asking her too many questions? So I just avoid asking a question twice. I know our friendship will be ruined if I let her know about my feelings ( 1/2 )

But idk what to do with all these pent up feelings :( she gets close to me but then seems to be very distant after a while. Back and forth. Idk what to do. Especially with all this time in my hand during quarantine all I do is overthink about everything in my life including her. Oh no I'm ranting. Sorry have a great day !!! Love you Katie !!! 🖤🖤🖤 :) ( 2/2 )

hello dear!! 💜💜💜 okay first and foremost never never feel like you have to apologize for sending long/multi-part asks/rambling/etc i adore getting asks and it is never something you should feel bad about!!

now, onto advice here...there are a lot of different options ofc for what you could do, and i won’t say that there’s one right answer or one thing that’s better than another. i am and always will be an advocate for communication and honesty in relationships/friendships/etc, but i think the first thing that needs to happen is you need to decide what route you want to go

the kind of key directions would ofc be to 1. explain your feelings and see if she feels the same 2. decide that you do Not want your current friendship with her to change and that you would rather move on from being interested in her without mentioning that you have feelings or 3. keep on the same path you’re currently on and sort of just...wait it out

uhhh i will say that option 3 is usually...one to avoid, if you can. specifically bc this will probably leave you feeling Bad and that’d be something that’s uhhh not good lmao

so say you want to try telling her how you feel, naturally this comes with the risk (as you mentioned) that she might not feel the same/that you might ruin the friendship by saying something about it, but unfortunately...there’s not really much of a way around that risk. that said, and keeping in mind that idk her or how she tends to act/react to certain situations, there are probably ways to go about this that mitigate some of the risks

if i were in your shoes and decided i wanted to go this route, i might genuinely try to keep it as lowkey and casual as possible, and try to avoid making it some Big Thing™. i’d probs just say smth like ‘hey y’know i think i might have feelings for u beyond just friendship, i wanted to just let you know in case you felt the same, but if not, no worries! it doesn’t change that i still want to be friends with you, and i obviously am not gonna act any differently toward you if you don’t feel the same.’ like. i would try to make it clear that 1. i wouldn’t want anything to change if she didn’t feel the same and 2. that i have no expectations of her

especially since it sounds like she’s still figuring out who she might be into, i might also add something like ‘i totally understand you’re still figuring stuff out, i don’t want you to feel any added pressure, just wanted to be open and honest with you’ (sometimes being open can help others open up too!)

now, that said, it sounds like you might be erring more on the side of wanting to move on and get over your feelings for her - which is totally valid! or, ofc, if you tell her and she’s like ‘yeah man sorry i’m just not into you!’ then u would naturally want to move on without making things uncomfy. in that event, i have one very major recommendation: distractions

i get it! it’s hard with quarantine to keep your mind occupied with other things/people/etc, but unfortunately, moving on isn’t something that can just be done, it requires practice and patience and time

one thing you can try is choosing something you already enjoy and finding an aspect of that to dive deeper into. for example, fan of a show/book? go search for fanart or fanfic if you’re into that! come up with an oc just for fun in whatever universe that piece of media is in, even if u never show it to anyone. pick a few blogs you’ve seen who post a lot and check them out, maybe follow if they seem cool! write fic or draw art, whether it be of an oc or existing characters or even just scenes or something! especially try this out even if you’ve never done either of those things before - and don’t get discouraged if those things aren’t perfect, just give them a shot and you might find something you really enjoy! grab a character or ship you usually don’t give much attention to/haven’t seen before and go check out their tag!

along this route, i speak a lot about fandom/fictional media bc that is what i personally use as an escape, but the same goes for activism/politics/languages/animals/other subjects/literally anything that is of interest to you! there is almost always an unexplored aspect of something that you can dive into. but! in the event that you can’t or don’t find anything interesting...

another thing is to find something new! a show you’ve heard about but never watched (or a show you’ve literally never heard of before but like just keeps popping up on ur netflix page), a book you’ve been putting off reading, a youtuber that seems p cool, a skill or language or craft or really, literally anything you haven’t done, and trying it. invest a bit of time and energy and just see where it takes you, let yourself think about this new thing and follow your line of curiosity. some of the best (and worst/dumbest/most cursed) ideas i’ve ever had came from just. randomly following the line of curiosity in my head and seeing where it takes me. hell, that’s what led to me writing fic in the first place!

and be forgiving of yourself too, don’t associate thoughts about this person with any kind of ‘oh shit i’m not supposed to be thinking about her’ kind of reactions, just gently redirect your thoughts to that one episode you just watched, or the question you have about the universe it exists in, or what crocheting pattern you want to try out first, etc etc etc. again, this kind of thing takes time and patience and won’t happen overnight, but you absolutely can get there!

the last ‘distraction’ i tend to go for is revisiting old interests! that fic or book you read a long time ago but still have/still have bookmarked as a fave? pick it back up and give it a reread - the cool thing about stories is that, over time, our perspectives change, and the way we experience the story and the emotions we feel over it change as well. same goes for old shows, esp if it’s been a minute! you can even do this in tandem with the first distraction type and dig back into fandoms you haven’t seen in a while!

it can be hard to remember sometimes - esp while we’re in quarantine! - that worlds exist outside our current interests and spheres of influence. whatever you decide to do, dear, just remember that things will be okay in the end (even if they’re not okay at first) so long as you try to do what’s right for you and be thoughtful and caring along the way. i hope this helped at least a little!

[seireiteiimagines]

Hello, It's been a long time, and here's a long post.

For those of you still following this blog and those of you who are new, thank you. I personally apologize for the long break in posts, and while I can't speak for admin Gwen (we prob haven't spoken in like two years? Idk I haven't been on this site in a long time), I know I've been busy. I figured I'd give you guys an update and discuss the future of this blog (it's not bad, don't worry).

As many of you probably knew, I was a college student when this blog first started and still am. I am no longer an art student as I left that horrid school (which has since shut down, and those who didn't have degrees by that time were SOL) before it closed, got an AA, and am now finishing up a degree at another state college while gearing up for a masters. I've been diagnosed with fibromyalgia and am now finally getting the medication I need to help ease the condition that I had been struggling to figure out and get diagnosed for over 8 years. I've also been dating someone who is, quite honestly,the love of my life and probably the man I'll end up marrying (he also accepts my sexuality as well). I have a job that pays well, a rental house that's old but works while also letting my two demon cats roam, and a roommate who likes what I like and also loves fanfics as much as I do. So I guess you could say I'm doing well, and I think that my long break from social media helped facilitate that. It gave me the chance to focus on my life, work, and school. That focus on work and school allowed me to travel overseas for the first time in my life and I will never forget the friends I made (if you'd like to see some of my travels I can post them on my personal blog. I travelled to Thailand, South Korea, and Bhutan for field school). I'm truly happy and relatively healthy (I'll get to that mess in a minute).

I actually planned to resurrect this blog two weeks ago, but encountered a bit of a hiccup. I have been struggling with a respiratory illness since the end of January and finally went in about two weeks ago when the symptoms got exponentially worse even with Tylenol, ibuprofen, and other medication (other than NSAIDS, which will kill me in a few hours). I was tested for the coronavirus (I was negative y'all, so we're good) and told to self isolate at home. So far the only thing I have left is the trouble breathing and I've been using an inhaler to help out. So I wanted to come back earlier, but that kind of set me back a bit. Not to mention this was going down right before finals week so that was a nightmare.

Which brings me to my next quick topic.

Yes this is everywhere. Don't panic. Don't go buy shit everywhere. If you're told to self isolate, SELF ISOLATE. Don't be that asshole that goes out anyways. Wash your hands, try to eat relatively healthy (I know this isn't an easy option for some), and drink water! Just keep a level head and do what the WHO, CDC, or local health department advises. The media is really adding to terror and it's important to remember that panic doesn't help and we need to look out for each other (you don't need that fifth bag of to, Karen). Other than that, keep doing you.

Now for the fate of the blog!

I've honestly fallen out of the bleach and Naruto fandoms but don't worry, they always come back around in cycles. I've been absent from fanfic writing for several years now, and have finally been making plans to return. I'm currently working on K-pop fics (I've been into K-pop since I was a toddler, and I blame it on living in a Korean neighborhood 😂 All of my friends mom's blasted SHINHWA and I've been doomed since then) but will definitely get back around to rewriting and finishing old ones. God help the poor souls who are still commenting on my old stories on my OG fic site because that stuff has been sitting for like 5 years 💀. So like I said above, my falling out of bleach and Naruto is not the end. I'm sure many of you have the same thing! Some things just kind of come and go in terms of what "I'm into" at the time. I'll be trying my best to kick this blog into gear. I've been considering adding another admin, so if you're interested let me know!

❤️

- Admin Jae~

[spnfanficpond]

February 2019 Pond LiveChat Recap

We had a great time chatting today with @impala-dreamer!! Thank you so much, Beka, for joining us!

We talked about self-publishing through Amazon, how to do it, what the benefits are, and the challenges to making a finished product. A rundown of the chat, as well as some general Pond news, is below the cut!

Q: What sort of music do you listen to when you write?

Beka: Oh, uh... Well, Actually, I have a lot of playlists on youtube. So it depends. I have a hardcore smut list that is just music that gets my hips moving... then a romance thing which is feely stuff. A "Deanspiration" list that oddly has zero Zepplin in it, just stuff that reminds me of him or gives me ideas. Sometimes I hear a song and it instantly snaps an idea. I write to music a lot.

Q: For everyone, do you reblog everything you read or do you think likes have the same “power” behind them?

Beka: No. If I read it, I reblog, unless it’s iffy. Iffy means, I read it, but wasn’t up my alley or I think it would be too triggering for people. I avoid those types of fics, anyway.

@mrswhozeewhatsis: There is a very small percentage of things I read that I won't reblog, but then, I haven't really read them, I've noped out for one reason or another. Usually grammar/formatting or content, not writing style, to be clear.

@girl-with-a-fandom-fettish: I guess one reason I suck at reblogging is a lot of the stuff I read has nothing to do with what is currently reblogged on my blog and that just doesn't match in my very matchy brain...is that just me?

@mrswhozeewhatsis: I believe that everyone should be able to put on their blog what they want. Some folks see their blog as a collection like in a museum. Some folks, like me, see it as more of a news feed. Collectors are less likely to reblog because they're carefully curating their blog. My advice to collectors is to then make a side blog where you can reblog the things you don't want to collect.

Q: What’s the biggest challenge you find in writing?

Beka: I think the biggest challenge for me is writing in the moment. I can't write if it's not flowing, and sometimes I try to force myself just to get the story out bc i fear i'm letting people down by not posting enough? But it’s not good when I do that, so I have to let myself go with the story that's with me at the moment. Sometimes it's two at once, like today. lol. Also, Sam is hard. (heheh no really, he is. also he is. but pg13)

Q: There are so many questions to about this process!

Beka: I do really get asked about it a lot, and it's really not that hard once you do it. It's annoying to navigate and decide what you want to do, but it really is awesome and not too frustrating. Amazon is really great because they do have an extensive help section AND message boards so you can ask and talk to other self publishers so it's like having someone with you.

Q: You said you chose to publish through Amazon. Out of curiosity, were there any other ways you heard about or considered before you settled on Amazon, and if so, was there a specific reason you didn't use them?

Beka:  I'm basically a Google fanatic, so when I decided to do this, I had no idea what I was doing so basically I goggled "How to self publish a book" and there were THOUSANDS of sites thrown at me. I honestly can't remember the other sites I looked at, but it basically came down to amazon was a company name I knew, I trusted, and had the best help and resources. And I have a kindle, so I figured that was easiest. I think I only looked into one or two others but I can't remember what they were. Amazon just stood out.  I did read up on like actually doing it yourself like through a book binder and all that and it was SOOOO much work this was just the easiest and most cost effective.

Q: Okay, but with Amazon, do they, like, own part of your content if you publish through them?

Beka: NOPE. I hold copyright to all my works. they just are the people who produce the actual physical book.

Q: What was the time frame, like from start to finish, I guess? Or the process if you don't mind. What did you have to do to get set up with Amazon?

Beka: Ok- so getting set up was easy. if you have an amazon account, you're good. Or you just make one. then there is a website- kdp.amazon.com -and they literally walk you through the entire process.  Someone up there asked how long it took -  I rushed it. my novel started as fanfic, which I wrote in about 2 months, then I took 2 weeks re-editing and changing to non-fanfic, then about a week editing again and formatting and then i had my hard copy. So, all in- maybe 3 months, but the actual amazon stuff takes a few days to get you a book in hand.

@kittenofdoomage: One thing I will say about Amazon, it's very convenient but I struggled with the covers and formatting.

Q: Did you have to use special software to submit your work?

Beka: I write in google docs, but amazon no likey- so I had to move everything over to Microsoft Word. and from there it gets updated. HOWEVER, there is now in beta testing an amazon program which I downloaded for my 3rd book but was too frustrated to figure out so I never used it. it's specifically for Kindle, but kindle didn't like my poetry format so I couldn’t do it.

@kittenofdoomage: They have step by step guides. And I use Google Docs, too, but you can download into a PDF or .doc file from there.

Q: So it's not a copy-paste thing, you upload the completed file then reformat it for amazon?

Beka: well... it's two different things for paperback and kindle. There are specific formatting guidelines for paperback such as margin sizes and gutters and such so when you turn a page it's not all wonky. Kindle formatting is MUCH easier to do. you just upload and it does it for you. The files for paperback need to be formatted with specific things. it's not hard... just annoying.

Q: You mentioned changing your fanfic into non-fanfic. Does that mean you can't have any fan elements in a story to publish it?

Beka: Well... my novel was basically a J2 x Reader BDSM fanfic, and so I changed J2 to original characters, I changed the show, the car, the everything. If you know that I write SPN fic, and you read it, you can see it's clearly SPN, but those who don't know SPN don't know that, because I've asked. lol. Also- someone read it recently and thought the Jared character was Jensen, so I guess I changed it enough.  I personally would not publish anything that actually said SPN or J2 or anything because those are copy-written characters and not mine so it does seem illegal to make money off of them, ya know? 

@mrswhozeewhatsis: It is actually illegal to make money off of fan fiction. The WB owns the characters and the show. If anyone else tries to make money off the characters or identifiable elements of the show, the WB can sue and win.

@kittenofdoomage: Those who use Patreon are covered under fair usage only because Patreon is a donation site.

Q: Were there any parts of the process that surprised you?

Beka:  Honestly, the entire thing surprised me. I went into it like just to see if it was possible and then i realized- I CAN’T publish my work. they WILL sell it. People WILL buy it. and it was all very shocking. It was scary, and I know people are intimidated by it, but it really was simple in the end, and if you want to do it- do it. It's awesome to look over at my bookshelf and see my name on actual, physical books ya know?

@kittenofdoomage: I was the same, Beka. I procrastinated for months. And okay, it wasn't a huge success but I learned from the first time, bettered myself the second time, and now.... I'm procrastinating again but that's not the point lol

Q: How much money do you make per sale?

Beka: It depends on the format and the cost you put. Like, for my short story and poetry book I make PROBABLY a few cents on it. My novel I make around $2 depending on the price I set. You set the selling price, and you can do sales and freebies. 

@kittenofdoomage: You can choose everything. They tell you how much you'll make from each copy sold.

Q: Do they tell you how much other authors sell similar works for, to give you an idea what others think is reasonable?

Beka: Yeah, you can look it up, too. They have a chart that's like, "This is your sale price. This is how much we take to make it. This is how much you get," and you can fiddle with it.

Q: Is there any kind of marketing happening on Amazon’s side, or is it all you?

Beka: They can do promotions, but you have to pay them to promote it.

Q: Did you look into promotion costs through Amazon? What kind of money are we talking, here?

Beka: Honestly, I don’t remember. When I see a fee of any kind I run for the hills because I'm cheap like that. lol. It's prob not too cheap BUT they also have this thing you can sign up for that's like a library kinda deal where your book can go on the free book a month kindle deal- i didn't do it bc you don't get royalties for it. but more people read it? idk what's best. It's all very over my head marketing.

@mrswhozeewhatsis: I guess if you're looking to become a popular selling author, and you have the cash to pay to promote it, then after a few books, it would pay off when you develop an audience.

Q: Do you think self publishing is the way to go long term, or maybe a better in terms of testing the waters? I realize you are still in the latter stage but I'm curious about your opinion...

Beka: Here's my thoughts: I used to be a singer/songwriter. I played in Manhattan. I had paying gigs. I recorded an album. I thought I could make it work. But I didn't go for it. No one handed me a record contract. I let it all go to have my kids and family.  I want to write. I realize no one's gonna stick their hand out and hand me a publishing deal. BUT I might be able to pay some bills with my books. I might be able to write enough, well enough to sell some books. and if i sell enough books, maybe a publisher WILL see me and then I can attempt the next stage.  I think self publishing is great. Why not? Do it if you want to do it. If you want to write, write. If you want to share it, share it. Who's to stop you? And if you can share it through self publishing with people all over the world?? freaking do it, man. 

Q: What is your best piece of writing advice?

Beka: OK, my best writing advice is... See it, feel it, write it. If you don't feel what you're writing, I'm not gonna feel it reading it. I think i'm more of an emotional writer than a descriptive. I can't tell you what the room looks like that they're in, but I can tell you how it feels that Dean just stepped on that Lego. ya know? Idk. Write what you see and feel, and put yourself into it, and it'll be amazing. 

Q: Are you a planner or a pantser?

Beka: Planner? SOMETIMES. It depends. I have plans for series, but shorter things I just go with the flow. I'm constantly messaging Ashley like "DEAN JUST DID X. I DID NOT SEE THAT COMING!" lol

Q: Do you outline at all, or just have a general goal in mind?

Beka: I do outline series. but not... strictly or drastically. Like, right now i'm working on a series for my kink bingo that's alternates between the brothers. I have a general plot line over all to follow, but i've also set it up like c1- flogging. c2- spanking, etc. 

Q: What is something you know now that you wish you knew before you published?

Beka: I think I'd tell myself to not worry and just freaking write what I want.

Q: Do you have a writing schedule or something that keeps you productive?

Beka: No. I try very hard to have a schedule, but I'm a little... slightly... bipolar I think and my writing follows my moods. I can write 20K in a weekend and then nothing for a week. I just literally ride the wave of ideas. Like, currently I'm in a slump. but I wrote 10K this week before the slump hit. It's quite annoying.

Except for some general conversation about the stupid places and times we all get ideas and the incomprehensible notes we’ve all left for ourselves, the chat ended. A good time was had by all, I think!! Thanks to everyone who was there! @littlegreenplasticsoldier @kittenofdoomage @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish @because-imma-lady-assface @canadianspnhunter (And two folks whose URLs I never got: Cassie and Shaila)

General Pond Updates and Reminders

Angel Fish Award nominations are due soon! Click the link for the list of raffle prizes! Remember, every nomination is an entry! So far, we’ve only received three or four nominations. If you have sent in a nomination, but have not received a private message confirming we received it, we didn’t get it. Send it in again! Be sure to use Submit instead of Ask!

Don’t forget to submit your stories to be posted to the blog! When your stories are on the blog, then they are easier to nominate for Angel Fish Awards!

SPNFanFicPond Season 14 Weekly Episode Writing Challenge - New prompts go up after every new episode, and there’s no deadline! Check out the prompts and rules at the link!

Say hi to February’s New Members!

Check the Pond CALENDAR to see when Big Fish will be in the chat room and other Pond and SPN events are happening! Know of something that’s not on the calendar, send us an ask or submission with the deets info details!  The calendar offers a lot of features, such as showing you when things are in your own timezone! Since we’re an international group, that’s a definite plus!!

Next month’s LiveChat details will be published as soon as we know them! Hope to see you there!

[nothingwithoutwannaone]

Ice Blades - Ha Sung Woon

In which you learn how to ice skate for the first time, along with the help of the resident ice fairy.

Hello everyone! This is Day 4 of my Christmas Collaboration with Ash from @goodnightkisseu and @ongsung and Chelle from @prettywordsyouleft

This one is dedicated to Ha Sung Woon, so I hope you enjoy it! Day 3 was from Chelle, and Day 5 will be coming from Ash, so make sure you head on over to each blog respectively if you’re following along ^^

As you clung to the side of the rink, you began to regret coming to the ice rink. It was the end of the quarter and your friends had invited you to go ice skating hosted by an org they were in. Although you had always admired the sport, you had never had the opportunity to actually try ice skating.

And maybe it was a good idea you hadn’t until now. It didn’t seem like you were all that great at it, and although your overzealous friends had tried to help you, after several hard falls, and a few too many close calls following that, you ushered them to skate on without you; you’d need some more practice around the edge of the rink before you could really join them. Though, you weren’t sure if that was going to be anytime soon.

Taking a deep breath, you tried your best to skate to the nearest door, where you decided to take a break. You almost made it before catching your skate on a rough edge, and felt yourself fall. You braced yourself for the fall, but before you could, someone stopped right in front of you and caught you, grasping both of your arms firmly to hold you steady.

You let out a hard breath before calming yourself down. Looking up, your eyes widened to see Sung Woon was the one who was holding you up. He had a worried expression on his face, or at least that was what you thought before you quickly diverted your eyes.

“Hey, you okay there?”

You nodded quickly, unable to formulate any words, still trying to calm down from the near-fall.

“It’s all right, I’ve got you. Here, the ledge is right here. You can reach right?”

“Y..yeah. Thanks...didn’t really want to fall again.”

You reached for the ledge after stabilizing yourself and stood up straight. When Sung Woon saw you were able to stand on your own, he slowly let go of your arms before sliding back a bit. 

“It’s not a problem. I’m glad I was in the right place at the right time.”

You smiled shakily before turning around to step off the rink and into the resting area. Maybe you would stay here for the rest of the night. You turned back to see Sung Woon still watching you, and you waved at him.

“Thanks again! I think I’ll take a break for now...been falling to many times today.”

He nodded silently before skating off, your eyes on the back of his figure as he did so.

Ha Sung Woon. He was a mystery to you. Some said he was really friendly, and was rumored to have 300 numbers in his phone. Others said he was the local ice prince. He had skated competitively when he was younger, but gave it up because he didn’t like the pressure from it, and would rather skate for his own enjoyment instead of competing. When you saw him around campus, it seemed like he had his own tight-knit group of friends. And although you had met before, it was brief, during a mixer that your dorm held at the beginning of the school year. He was also an upperclassman, so you never really had the same classes.

Seeing him here was a surprise, but also not. It made sense that he would be at an event hosted by a university organization. As you saw him make his way around the rink, it made sense why people called him an ice prince. He made skating look so effortless, but looking down at your soaked pants, and feeling your sore body parts that had made contact with the ice today, you knew it wasn’t that easy; it took a certain amount of skill and expertise to navigate the rink the way Sung Woon did.

As he skated again to your side of the rink, you were slightly startled when he stepped off the rink and made his way to the bench to sit by you. You were a bit baffled, and could only stare as he sat down next you, running his hand through his hair before leaning back against the bench. It was then that he looked over at you, and you blinked once slowly before turning to look back at the rink.

“Why were you looking at me that way?”

“What do you mean?” You cleared your throat a bit, slightly unnerved he was talking to you.

“You were looking at me earlier, like I was an alien.”

You turned back to him in surprise. Was that how it seemed like to him?

“You’re not an alien...”

He learned forward and set his elbows on his knees before pulling an arm up to prob his chin on his hand. He was looking at you now, still skeptical.

“Really, then what am I?”

“Ha Sung Woon.”

“So you know me?”

Of course you knew who he was, but the guy was too popular to remember you.

“Yes, I do as a matter off fact. A lot of people do.”

“And what have these people told you about me?”

You hesitated slightly before answering. You weren’t sure if he was okay with what people called him. 

“That you’re really friendly, and an ice pr...really good at ice skating.”

He smirked slightly. Looks like he knew what you were going to say, and you could feel your cheeks flush in embarrassment.

“You know my friends call me something else other than an ice prince”

This perked your interest, though you were wondering why he had singled you out to talk to you.

“What do they call you?”

“An ice fairy.”

You had to keep the chuckle that threatened to escape you. A fairy? Of all things why did they call him that? But regardless, you had to agree; it’s not like he wasn’t handsome? But it seemed like it had a different connotation with his expression.

“I’m short,” he said simply when you hadn’t spoken. And you had to raise your eyebrows at that. Was he that short? You were quite short yourself, at a mere five feet. 

“I don’t really care to be honest. I didn’t even think about it until you mentioned it,” you said 

He shrugged nonchalantly, but seemed satisfied with your response.  He stood up from the bench before he turned out to offer his hand.

“Come on, this ice fairy can teach you a thing about skating.”

You looked the rink before looking back at his offered hand. He seemed to sense your hesitation and smiled warmly.

“I promise I won’t let you fall, Y/N.”

You looked at him in shock as he said your name. Maybe he did remember you after all? Glancing down at his offered hand, you decided to take another chance on the ice. Perhaps with Sung Woon, you could make an entire round of the rink without holding onto the wall. Sure you’d be holding onto Sung Woon instead, but the idea of that was much more appealing than the wall.

Maybe this skating thing was a good idea after all.

[moonmothmama]

ok. so. The Princess Bride. i read it yesterday.

and right up front, before even a review, i’m gonna go ahead and list everything objectionable in the book that i can recall. please don’t take the length of the bullet pointed items to follow as an indication that the book was wildly problematic and offended me at every turn; it wasn’t and it didn’t. but there were some things that made me go: 😑 or 😒, and here it all is, presented with context, before anything else, because to be honest, i didn’t expect any of it. the film is relatively spotless, which is pretty rare for that era, and if any of you are thinking of reading it, you could do with being more prepared for this than i was.

first off, racism. two passing remarks. one isn’t even in the story proper; it’s in the first whole long intro bit from the author/narrator. that takes some explanation, i suppose: like in the film, the story is presented as a book having been written by “S. Morganstern,” except instead of a grandfather reading to his sick grandson, the narrator is interjecting with notes on the original text that he has abridged. the beginning is a whole long shpiel that, in my opinion, could have been significantly pared down with absolutely zero loss to the story (which! hey! the film did perfectly! go figure!). anyway, the first racist remark is an absolutely tasteless line in which the narrator pisses and moans about his fat son, making a crack about “painting him yellow” and making him a sumo wrestler. y i k e. the other passing remark is from Miracle Max (really, truly, the film version of this scene is miles better than the book version, but contains an important plot detail, so you should prob still read it, but i’ll give you the lowdown if you wanna skip). he refers to Iñigo as a sp*ck (rather bafflingly, i might add, bc Iñigo is a Spanish man... from Spain... not a Hispanic or Latino man from Latin America. so. i mean i’m certainly not an expert on slurs but... i have never in my life heard that term in reference to a person from Spain, and am virtually certain it was invented to refer to ppl from the americas) and in the same breath uses an objectionable term for a Polish person. sooo... again: y i k e. what gets me is that... these could’ve just been edited out? why weren’t they? i mean i know why but

fat shaming! see above. though to be honest, any true negativity about fatness is restricted to the author/narrator’s interjections; there are a few minor fat characters in the story and those depictions, without being too long-winded or spoilery, didn’t offend me (fyi: i’m fat). if you want the details, please feel free to message me about it.

if we can go back to the whole long beginning shpiel from the author/narrator, it’s just... eh. he comes off as kind of a jackass, tbh. not even halfway through it i found myself more than a little impatient for the story to begin, and that could be at least partly because the film spoiled me with a lovely, not annoying, not problematic scene of Granddad Columbo reading to Baby Fred Savage where no one made any racist remarks or ragged on fat kids. the basic gist, if you want to skip it, is that the author, as a kid, had this book read to HIM by his father, who was a Florinese immigrant, and nearly illiterate in English, but still labored over reading the English translation to his American-born son, who adored the book and requested it read to him dozens and dozens of times over the years, refusing to read it himself (though he read plenty of other books). as an adult, he buys his son the book, and is crushed when the son doesn’t like it. he then reads it for the first time, and realizes his father skipped over huge, boring blocks of text. he read his son only The Good Parts. so he decides to edit that shit out himself and release the abridged version he loves so much. add into that some complaining about his wife and some extra blah blah, and that’s pretty much it.

you remember the scene in the movie where The Man In Black/Westley almost slaps Buttercup for what he believes is lying? in the book he actually slaps her. not that his actions seem supported or endorsed by the text, but still, there you are. Buttercup does push him off a cliff soon after, though, so. i wouldn’t call that ‘even’ exactly but, shrug

Vizzini, in the book, has a fucky leg and his back isn’t quite straight, and he’s referred to repeatedly as a “humpback” or “hunchback” which needless to say is Not Kosher

that, as i recall, is it. i hope i’m not forgetting anything. now onto content/trigger warnings:

alcoholism. this shouldn’t be a surprise if you’ve seen the movie: Iñigo has some, shall we say, issues

Fezzik’s parents were... terrible. CPS would be all over them. spoiler: basically they emotionally blackmailed their son into fighting professionally, which they knew he hated, by telling him they’d abandon him if he didn’t

Buttercup has some kinda messed up (read: unsettling but in no way graphic) nightmares after leaving Westley when they’re found by Prince Humperdinck at the Fire Swamp, mostly involving bearing children to the Prince who she once again is set to marry

the slurs and whatnot i mentioned above

violence, obviously. nothing worse than the film as i recall.

that’s it i think. 

okay. all that said. did i enjoy the book? yes i did. a lot.

now, you might be thinking: jesus, Kathleen, after all the shit you just listed? and to this i reply: listen. there is no Unproblematic Media, so you either enjoy some things that are flawed, or you enjoy nothing at all. there is plenty of objectionable shit in Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit! fucking plenty! and i love those books! and so do plenty of other people! in my own humble opinion, the good story is worth the shitty bits, because the shitty bits aren’t like, fundamental to the plotline. the story isn’t built on offensive humor or nasty, bigoted attitudes. and they’re also not the most egregious examples of Objectionable Content i’ve come across- not by a longshot. there are levels to offense. there are tiers of bullshit. this is on a far lower tier than a whole host of other things i could mention. but if any of this stuff i’ve listed crosses a line for you, i totally understand and respect that. that’s why i’ve bothered to list it at all. imo, how you respond to objectionable content is important: you don’t ignore it or excuse it, you acknowledge and criticize it. and if you still enjoy whatever the thing is, you allow yourself to enjoy it, without getting hissy or defensive with people for whom the objectionable content ruined the book/movie/whatever. 

there you go, there’s my disclaimer for having enjoyed the book. your mileage may vary.

okay. so. review time.

Buttercup is a far more interesting character in the book than the movie, for which the movie can’t be faulted all that much, because you can’t easily translate a character’s inner monologue/unspoken thoughts to the screen, especially not with the time limit that comes with the medium of film. but watching her struggle with her feelings and life choices (and... lack thereof, since her choice is between marrying the prince and being put to death, which isn’t much of a choice, even if she tries to reason it out later by telling herself she COULD have said no... and initially did) creates far more of a bond between her and the reader in the book than, personally, i felt watching the movie. also she has a great line after Westley calls her beautiful at their reunion- she says something like, ‘everyone’s always calling me beautiful, i have a mind too, why don’t you talk about that’

Both Westley and Buttercup are immature, naive, and foolish in the beginning, and if Westley strikes you as Extra Dickish, a) rewatch the film! he did act like a bit of a dick, there, didn’t he? b) remember that in the story he’s a young man between the ages of eighteen and twenty five, which in my considerable experience is the age at which young men are generally at their peak of Asshole. sorry dudes

and not that Buttercup herself is a complete peach! she deals very poorly with her emotions in general and acts kinda shitty herself once or twice. i won’t say too much lest i spoil everything that’s different between the film and the book.

Prince Humperdinck is also a more three dimensional character; still a rat bastard tho.

onto Fezzik and Iñigo.

as i have said in other blog posts, these boys are... pretty much the whole reason i sought out the book. and... jesus. 

you get all the way into the tragic backstories that were only hinted at in the film. okay, Iñigo’s backstory was more than hinted- but of course you go so much deeper in the book- and Fezzik’s was less than hinted, reduced mostly to a peek at the insecurity that Vizzini exploits and preys upon to keep him in line. not that you’d have to expend a great effort to him to keep him in line; his personality is docile and non-confrontational. truly not the slightest bit aggressive by nature. he’s also kinda clingy and needy, which is a thousand percent understandable given his childhood, and tbqh doesn’t need to be browbeaten for Vizzini to keep him on his short, cruel leash. which makes it all the more painful! hurrah! 😭

also you actually get to meet Iñigo’s father, Domingo Montoya, in a flashback, aaaand... i kinda love him. probably predictable if you know me.

anyway. tragic backstories. which further illuminate the emotional and psychological issues that make them so dependent on Vizzini, and turn them to lives of crime in his employ. poor boys! oy gevalt. sympathy abounds; i honestly don’t know how you could go through the book and not fall at least a little bit in love with this duo, whose friendship is precious and adorable and a balm to the soul that is aching from their painful life stories and unhealthy coping mechanisms. they’re each, very plainly, the only friend the other has in the world, and are constantly helping and bolstering one another. it’s heartbreakingly sweet. i think those boys will be alright as long as they stick together.

and now, the repeated theme of the book, that is presented with far less intensity in the film: life isn’t fair. which, one supposes, is true. but while the narrator’s framing of that assertion may give you the same misgivings they gave me- bitching about his fat son and his less than ideal relationship with his wife- you can also step back and appreciate it as a wee pearl of wisdom. life is often unfair, but that doesn’t mean it’s altogether bad or that you can’t enjoy it. idk, that’s my attitude, man. 

i could talk about the ending here, but i won’t. at least not too much. not to spoiler-ish-ly. if you don’t want to know anything about the book’s ending at all, feel free to not read the last bit here, except for the very last lines which are bolded.

ready? yes? no?

...

the ending to the book is different than the movie. there is a more philosophical, open ended conclusion than you could really get away with in a movie. at least this movie.

just throwing it out there: i believe in happy endings. ones in real life. but i kind of disagree with the author a little bit, in that i don’t think happy endings necessarily have to be perfect and unblemished to qualify as happy endings. that may be the way “happily ever after” is generally presented, but to me, “happily ever after” means, maybe some shit happened, but none of it was completely devastating, and in the final analysis, life was satisfying. that’s the kind of real life happy ending i’m aiming (and hoping) for. this might sound vague but i hope it’ll make sense if you read the book.

if you wanna do that, btw, i read it for free online at allnovel dot net.

[irregulardiaryposts]

00:53 21/06/2021

Hello again <3

so i think im gonna write about my mental health today because i dont feel like i have anyone who understands fully apart from myself maybe so i need to Organise my Thoughts. as a kid i had a pretty normal childhood, a mum a dad and a brother - pretty nuclear right. but as a child i felt like my family maybe wasnt quite right, that this wasnt supposed to be what family is? perhaps. - i was scared of my mum a lot because she wasnt very understanding of me - and i was a great kid, never getting into trouble, very good at school, no issues whatsover. the thing that really shows how i thought of my relationship with my mum was when i was like maybe 8 or so having a parents night and at it my teacher had nothing bad to say apart from i was kinda bossy in group settings (im sure i dont need to explain how misogynistic that actually is- i was not bossy i was a natural leader) and when i got home my mum told me off for that and i felt like she was kinda cold to me and not taking all the good things about me into consideration when telling me off for that.

i feel like thats a really defining moment in my life when i realised i cant expect adults to Understand me, realised how people treat young girls, also started my defiant behaviour maybe or was kinda one of the key moments that made me dislike certain authorities in my life, that if people wont understand me regardless of how i explain myself then i wont bother trying to be understood by people who wont matter to me. anyway yes i was scared of my mum-like petrified sometimes- but my dad wasnt great either, he also had his shortcomings. i feel like he never really cared about me like he was kinda apathetic towards raising me like a parent - i feel he would be better suited as an uncle to someone rather than a dad - the funny childish guy that makes kids laugh -not the uncaring dad that cant be bothered to really learn about his kids. and i feel im sitting here complaining about my parents when the fact is that a lot of adults should never be parents, society has conditioned people into thinking the only way to be fulfilled in life is to live vicariously through your kids when life gets to such a boring and monotonous place where you feel the need to create a new life to spice things up lmao. i feel a lot of parents regret having kids but they cannot express that regret because it was their choice and they should deal with that, also saying you regret it would be pretty horrible to the kid.

so while yes i am complaing about my parents i dont think they were Bad in any way just not that great yaknow. also i just notice all these things growing up and i feel its been pretty impactful to understanding myself and my parents. also just some anecdotes from my childhood - i used to watch my dad play video games like the uncharted games i think theyre called, and whenever i got scared i used to hide behind the couch until the scary part was over (usually a lot of guns and high energy fight scenes thats too much adrenaline for a 7 yo) and sometimes when i would take out my dad/brothers game i would get them to fo the hard parts and do other stuff myself - i dont remember many games i played apart from one of the spidermen games where u could just web around the city and not progress apart from sometimes you would come across some strippers and i accidently got into a fight with them (also hot women with umbrellas they use to fight- maybe i went near them on purpose) i would yell to my dad and get him to do it for me. also on new years eve whenever my mum was working and we werent going to any family parties we would make a bunch of food and put it out in the kitchen - wed make like homemade onion rings, chips, have crisps and dips, and a bunch of junk basically and watch like austin powers or some shit and genuinely miss those times they were so simple. but a lot of thats tainted now from what happened. also my brothers always been annoying as shit but when we were kids we couldnt be in the same room without arguing which like whatever thats how kids are esp brothers and sisters for some reason.

i think thats majority of the background needed for the rest. wait this is a little addition but i meant to mention this here so ill put it in- basically sometimes on holidays i would geniunely think my parents hate each other/ were getting a divorce like once when we were in florida in 2012 my dad convinced my mum (as well as me and my brother convinced her since we liked them) we convinced her to go on a water slide thing that u had to walk up the stairs for, it was outdoors, and it was kinda tall and then we got in one of the big donut things and it swooshed from side to side a lot and was generally pretty scary i suppose for someone who doesnt like rides esp since you had to hold on to the handles there were no buckles or anything, and so when we got off the ride my mum was big mad at my dad and like wouldnt talk to him and stuff like that which was pretty uncomfortable to have to be the 8 year old mediator of that but there was also another occasion i think (maybe also at florida) where they were made at each other and i asked my mum if they were getting divorced and all she said was 'ask ur dad' like???? no sort of consolation to this child who thinks their parents hate each other nooo just petty 'ask him' and theres also been other times when they fight/ are mad and they dont feel the need to hide it from us so i felt quite anxious around my parents sometimes.

so ahnyway . yes. when i had just turned 13 my parents split up and it fucked me up in a multitude of ways. also i cant beleive i stopped being a proper kid at 13, like as soon as i turned a teenager life hit me like a fucking truck. so the context as to why they split is still kinda lost to me ngl but they didnt tell me much anyway since i was young but my mum basically said my dad didnt love her anymore and he wanted to separate. its kinda funny because leading up to this my dad had been sleeping in the living room for like a few weeks and there was on and off fighting i could hear and i basically thought they were fighting over me and that i was in trouble and it kinda used to keep me up coz i could hear loud voices when they thought i was asleep- which is probably the cause of why i get veryyyy mad and angry when i hear my mum at like 1 am downstairs when shes drinking and im trying to sleep, probably something ive internalised (is that the word?) and made me respond so strongly to those type of noises.

anywayyyyy yes i thought i was in trouble when they were actually just getting a divorce so ... yeah you can really tell i was young and didnt understand adult issues or really couldnt figure this out myself from all the arguing and him sleeping downstairs lmao. anyway my dad moved out and it was just me my mum and my brother now and at this point my brother wouldve been about to turn 18, so although still kinda shit, not really as affected my it as a 13 yo, just to keep in mind. so i was devastated obviously and my whole world was kinda shattered but i had to hold it together a bit, also i was sometimes my mothers own therapist having to say things like 'everything happens for a reason' 'itll get better' in response to her deteriorating mental health and her questions that would be really hard for me to answer like 'why did he leave' etc (bish im a child be there for me not wallow in ur own pity, u have ur whole life to sort this out youre an adult, im a 13 you and only months away from wanting to kms hun think of ur CHILD please) anyway this left me feeling like a burden if i were to share my mental state because when my mum shared her stuff she was burdening me (AGAIN i was 13 she is an adult) so that made me bottle a lot of things up also the fact that i had no one to share it with because she works as a nurse and now shes a single mother and so she works almost all hours of most days and i dont see her much, my brother was either working at this time or just didnt give enough of a shit about me to make sure i ate.

i went from being catered to for every meal because i didnt know how to cook to suddenly no one being there for me so i had to learn how to do it myself. needless to say that lead to a bunch of unhealthy eating habbits like eating the same things every day - frozen pizza, cheese toasties, i cant think of anything else probs because i didnt make anything else just ate chocolates or didnt eat breakfast coz i woke up at 2pm. just general unhealthyness both in substance and like how healthy that was for my head yk. also this is during the summer btw so it gave me the option to be incredibly depressed - im not saying that as an edgy teen thing to say im being 100% genuine i was very depressed like textbook style - not eating or overeating, not showering/ taking care of myself, extreme lack of energy and hated doing social things coz i had to put on a farce that i was okay meanwhile i couldnt wait to get into my bed and sleep the next day and a half away.

i very vividly remember at the start of the summer holiday my friend asked me if i wanted to go out and do something and i rememeber just crying at that because i had no reason to say no but i just didnt want to and felt like i couldnt do anything and so i lied and said i wasnt feeling well and then put my phone down and curled up in my bed and cried coz i was frustrated and upset and i couldnt really understand what was wrong with me and why i was Like This.

god i didnt take into account how tired i was and how late it is when i started this huh, this isnt even half of it, but i have obligations in the mornign, the last until uni or whatever so ill put this in my drafts and finsih it somethime. alrigtht it is 02:08 btw z_z. also ive just now decided im gonna re organise my tumblr so if this ends up being an actual blog thing i can navigate it easier by adding tags and such. anywau goodnight.

20:21 30/06/2021

MOTHERFOIUHIFIUDVMKCVKM V

MY LAPTOP SHUT DOWE IN THE MIDDLE OF THSAT SO ITS ALL GONE BASICALLY I WAS DEPRESSED BURTNOUT GIFTERD KID AND IT SUCKED YADDa YADDSZ ANYTWAY

so

23:01- well. yes earlier i wrote a little about the ages 13-16 and how they sucked but whatever it got deleted the more pertinent stuff happened in the last year or so anyway.

um yeah so i started the last year of highschool as a 16 year old with a fucked up brain and never having learned any study techniques or work ethic in the slightest. i took 3 uni-level courses only one i actually wanted to do, most people take 2 at most or even 1/0 but do other classes. honestly it fucking sucked this year for school but i scraped all passes so thank god for that. so i started the year quite optimistic, or as much as i could be and in all fairness the content of this year wasnt actually that bad considering i was doing 3 hard classes but corona really truly fucked everything up and by November i had mentally dropped out of my classes but of course i still had to go to them. i feel like im an oddly independent teen because ive never had a solid parental presence in a while, like i had to do a lot for myself and maybe i should thank myself for getting me through it all because i really did pull through.

my thoughts keep drifting from what im writing coz i wanna talk about different things and im just thinking maybe i shouldve just posted the last one then added a reblog when i could be bothered to write and not force myself because if theres ever a reoccurring theme in my life is that if i force myself to do anything i will hate it with my entire being, so maybe i should just do a short synopsis and write about something else afterwards.

so i took 3 hard classes, slowly lost all motivation because in jan it switches to online classes and i could Not deal with those it was horrible, and i became more of a "troublesome student" in one of my classes *cough* maths *cough* and almost got "kicked out" of taking the class just because the teacher was a control freak but like wanted to control all of our actions and behaviour, also i think i may have adhd and another kid in my class i think he does too and surprise surprise the teacher "dislikes" him too but its only a farce because he doesnt actually dislike him its only so that i cant call him out for singling me out when other students behave "badly" too. but anyways maybe ill come back to this in a while when i can be arsed explaining my complicated relationship with my parents.

the only reason i wanted to write this today was so that i could tag the post with like june 2021 or something and not june/july, but i might make another post later, Anyway happy end of pride month i supose, hope u figure it out me!

[lyricdissonance]

odds please! for ask thing

1. How do you define your sexuality?i’m bisexual, i also identify as queer3. At what age did you first suspect that you are sexually attracted to other girls?first started realizing i “like like” girls instead of just “like” at 15 I believe?5. Did you have an “aha I like girls” moment or was it more of a gradual realization?gradual realization, i had a whole lot of female actresses and musicians i really admired and then realized i was also attracted to them. then i kinda brushed that aside for a while, thinking that my celeb crushes didn’t count as real crushes, before i also got crushes on girls i knew irl which made me realize i definitely wasn’t straight7. How did you become comfortable with your sexuality?reading posts by bi bloggers on here helped a whole lot, they made me realize that i didn’t have to fit a narrow definition to be “allowed” to call myself bisexual. and as someone who grew up in a conservative environment, i probably wouldn’t have discovered my sexuality when i did without tumblr since i’d never been told before that it was ok to not be straight, and i thank the internet for showing me there are other ways to live life

9. Who was the first person you came out to? How did they take it?it was by text message to a male friend who was the only other bi person i really knew at the time. he was super supportive and we haven’t talked in a while but i’d love to catch up with him someday11. How out are you?out to friends and two family members, but closeted to most of my family. which means i can be gay on tumblr and twitter but not instagram and facebook. funny how that happens13. Was anyone surprised when you came out or did people seem to already know?a few people have been surprised, but these days when i meet someone new i prefer to casually mention my sexuality rather than do a real “coming out” and i don’t normally get any reaction from that15. How soon after meeting someone do you usually tell them about your sexuality?like the last answer, if i feel like i can trust them i’ll just try to slip it into conversation. i don’t have a timeline for when i do it though, it’s just whenever i feel ok doing it17. Have you ever wished you were completely straight?not so much that as just wishing my sexuality could be not a big deal. i’d love to be out to everyone but i know it would cause problems in a lot of my family relationships19. If you are not a lesbian, about what percentage of the time do you find yourself attracted to other girls?i gave up using percentages a while ago but i’m attracted to men and women about the same amount overall21. How often do you find yourself trying to sneak a peek or stare at a cute girl?only all the time because girls are Too Cute to not do that

23. What is your current relationship status?

single af

25. Do you remember anything about the first time you kissed another girl?i’ve kissed one person and she was nonbinary, we were hanging out in her dorm common room when she went for a kiss on the cheek and i was like “well we might as well do one on the lips too”27. What is your ideal first date?wherever we go i want us to be having fun! i love going out for food or drinks but if we don’t have a connection then it’s just us staring at our plates so there’s always that risk of it being too awkward. i’d love for us to try something new where we can talk and laugh while getting to know each other29. How flirty are you?i’m the certified worst at flirting. i’m trying to be more confident but my idea of flirting right now is staring across the room31 Do you want have children someday?no but i want to volunteer with children someday and do something to help make their lives better33. How often are you asked if you have a boyfriend?not often, i think my family is used to me saying no by now lmao35. Have you ever been on your period the same time as a girlfriend?nope (see above, single af)37. Have you ever been in a long distance relationship?nope39. Has a girl ever dumped you for a guy? Have you?nope and nope41. Have you ever had a crush on a straight girl?oh yes43. Would you ever date a trans woman?absolutely45. Where do you think is the best place to meet a potential lover?

a wendy’s parking lot in upstate new york 

somewhere where you can meet people who have a common interest, like a bookstore or a dance class or an lgbt event. but the romantic in me wants to believe that the love of my life could be found anywhere

47. Have you ever cut your hair super short? If not, would you ever want to?have not but would love to! even if i don’t like it i want to be able to say i tried it49. What is your opinion on septum/bull nose piercings?don’t want one for myself, but i think they’re cute51. How muscular are you?not very53. Have you ever been told that you don’t look gay, or that you’re too pretty to be gay?

hasn’t happened to me

55. Do you wear skirts and dresses? If so, how often?i may not consider myself very feminine but i do love how skirts and dresses look on me. so like once or twice a week on average?57. How much jewelry do you typically wear?i go without it a lot but i like wearing a piece of statement jewelry when i think an outfit needs it59. How often do you wear a bra?almost always when i go out, but home is a No Bra Zone61. Have you ever worn a suit?nope but i’d try it!63. Do you carry a purse?yep, i find it convenient to have all my stuff with me65. Have you ever worn any men’s clothing?because of my body shape finding men’s clothes that fit well is Hard but i’ve worn men’s shirts on occasion67. Have you ever shared clothes with a girlfriend?

no but i like this idea so cute girls who are my size please hmu

69. Who is your favorite LGBT celebrity?my faves include freddie mercury, janelle monae, st. vincent, and lady gaga71. Have you ever watched Will & Grace?nope73. How well do you feel LGBT women are portrayed on television?i’d like for us to survive to the end of the show for one thing. and not be overly sexualized. i’m glad that we’re seeing more positive and happy depictions like on b99 but we could always use more75. Do you watch any LGBT YouTubers?tbh i don’t really follow any youtubers77. Do you have a favorite LGBT themed blog or website?i follow a lot of gay blogs on here, too many to choose a favorite. and i really like autostraddle.com79. Have you read any LGBT themed literature? If so, do you have any recommendations?

i really need to start reading more lgbt lit, but shoutout to the misfits by james howe which was the first time i ever encountered gay characters in literature. i think it’s important that that book showed a gay boy who was unashamed about liking feminine things and had friends who supported him. i know my young mind was opened a little after i read it. and now that i’m looking it up again it turns out the author is gay which makes it even better!

81. Boobs or butts?Certified Boob Lover (tm)83. Ellen or Portia?

probs ellen

85. Have you ever been to a gay bar or a gay club?no but there’s a gay club that’s popular w people at my school that is on my list! 87. Do you have any LGBT relatives?my sister, no others that i know of89. How outdoorsy are you?i’m definitely more outdoorsy than i used to be! i’ve learned to enjoy a bit of hiking, kayaking, and exploring but i still don’t do well with heat and bugs lol91. How many rainbow items do you own?one rainbow rubber bracelet, and a couple of bi pride items93. Have you ever participated in the National Day of Silence?no, as far as i know it was never a big thing at my school? i knew one or two people who did it95. Have you ever attended a PFLAG (Parents & Friends of Lesbians and Gays) meeting?no, i’m kinda curious about what a meeting would be like tho97. Have you ever been part of a softball team?nope99. Do you play any video games?

well i used to be a hardcore nintendogs player back in the day

101. (on a scale of 1-10, how attractive are...) Women who wear glasses?glasses on girls are GR8 - 10/10103. Women who are covered with piercings?kinda neutral on this, i support women getting the piercings they want but "covered with piercings” isn’t really something i look for in a person - 6/10105. Women with short hair?if you have short hair i am guaranteed gay for you - 10/10107. Tall women (i.e. around 1.83 meters/6 feet or taller)?

*wearing a shirt that says I

109. What does equality mean to you?to me it means i’m treated the same as anyone else and i have all the same opportunites111. Do you eat meat at all?yes113. How do you feel about the terms “woman crush” and “girl crush”?i find them harmful to girls trying to figure out their sexuality bc the implication of a “girl crush” is that all women have crushes on women and that it shouldn’t be taken as serious attraction. that being said i think a not-insignificant amount of women who say stuff like that just haven’t realized yet that they are attracted to women (i was one of them whoops) and i hope we can find ways to talk about the “girl crush” problem that leave room for questioning people to talk about their feelings115. How do you feel when people use the word gay to mean things such as stupid, dumb, boring, or idiotic?i hardly ever hear it anymore but i don’t like it117. What are your views on gender identity and bathroom use?everyone should be able to use the bathroom that they feel safest and most comfortable in, gender neutral bathrooms need to be everywhere, and any lawmakers who want to get in the way of that can fuck outta here119. Have you ever been called a gay slur?nope121. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your sexuality or gender identity? If so, please explain.not like, personally, but the number of people who have said in my presence that they “don’t believe” in bisexuality is Too High123. Americans: How did you feel on June 26, 2015?it was really incredible, i’d been watching as state by state (including my own) had legalized same-sex marriage and suddenly it was all across america. seeing all the love and happiness being poured out on that day was amazing125. Have you ever tried to “pray the gay away”?luckily i’ve never been there, but it breaks my heart to think about people going through that127. What LGBT stereotype do you most disagree with?"bi women are just doing it for male attention” excuse you i’m clearly doing it in the hopes that jenna coleman will fly to the states and elope with me get your facts right129. What advice would you give to a girl who is struggling to figure out her sexuality?

take your time! you don’t have to 100% understand your feelings but please let yourself feel what you feel and remember you are not alone. and i want to be here for questioning girls the same way that other people were there for me when i was questioning so if you need someone to talk to i am always here.

[hycrans]

( the cuteST )

a bitch is Tired rn after pulling my usual shit, aka staying up until 5am for no reason only to wake up three hours later to watch bts run, so excuse the seeming lack of enthusiasm lkfdsjglk. hey i’m jules, i’m 20, canadian, and my current means of life rn are chocolate, the x files ( iM LATE IK SFGDJLK ) and 3am you in me listening parties with myself rip !! it’s been almost a month since its release, i need to Relax dammit. i’m a uni student who just got off for christmas break and in love with sowoo so you don’t wanna know the agony that came with picking one over the other without a bit of help. you can hmu on d*scord at HAPPY S*OKJIN DAY#2030 ( don’t.. call me out for not having an updated name since his birthday’s passed, i’m not v bright pls ) if you’d like and this is so boRING, it’s like the life is sucked out of me omg. anyways hyeran, a whole.. other positive muse bc jesus, how many of these do i have rn ?? this is so out of hand man, but nonetheless here’s a bit abt the brat:

- ̗̀ JEON SOMIN, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER ̖́- – have you seen YUN HYERAN? people’ve said the TWENTY TWO year old has been running around the streets of jeju lately, which is odd because aren’t they a BARISTA/MUSIC PRODUCER during the day? anyways, i know they’re known to be EBULLIENT and TRANQUIL but recently i’ve heard they’ve been MAGNANIMOUS and DIFFIDENT, but i could be wrong. ( jules / 20 / gmt-3:30 / she/her )

EDIT: i somehow forgot to mention that she’s.. not sure where she is on the lgbt spectrum but she knows she’s Not Straight JFGDSLKJGK but she’s panromantic so yeah sgjkdl. i’m a whole mess today, i’m sorry lol

yun hyeran, a daegu native with an older and younger brother, an ambivert and an all around baby

tbh i don’t have much of her bg figured out, that’s always the last thing i get to so rip

buT she became involved in music through her father, who studied it in uni and ended up becoming a music instructor with a focus on piano, flute and vocals

her and her mom.. also her older brother, didn’t have the best relationship when she grew older, which seemed to die altogether when her parents divorced and her mom left. but her and her brother’s still exists, it’s just that he’s a bit of a toxic influence on her and she tends to distance herself from him

went to uni in seoul to pursue music like her father ( a daddy’s girl too like ) and found her way into the world of production !! by junior year, she’d transferred out of her original program and majored in that instead and has loved it ever since; she recently graduated

moved to jeju island bc an aunt lived there when she was young and she LOVED to visit, made a few friends there and would always whine abt the next time they could all go see her aunt again. so it made sense for her to live, at least for a little while, in one of her favourite places

she also adores said aunt, her dad’s sister and the maternal figure she Deserves, so she came partially to see her more often

for the time being, she works full-time as a barista at the café just a block from her cute little studio apartment while looking into internships at record labels for her to take on a little further down the line ( no rush bc it’s already quite competitive and she’d rather enjoy what she has going now )

she’s also making something of an income as the creator of an acct on youtube and soundcloud for her music, something she’s had for abt two years now

she’s not even close to making it big yet, and she doesn’t mind if she never works for a moderately to highly popular label — though she should if she wants to get by

among the aesthetic, lo-fi music crowd ( one of those yt accts with a livestream for certain playlists that go on for hours, rip ) where for the most part, it’s personal faves mixed with her own works, and has a substantial following as of now. but has an interest in experimenting, with mashups ( as a lover of them ?? i couldn’t help myself sgflkdsjg ) for example, with a small fear of how that change would be received

this is so short iK, it’s a little infuriating if you ask me ljkgdfjls

in terms of her personality and other things:

she’s a very loyal person, v e r y. while like i said, her relationship with her brother is Not Great, she hasn’t completely given up on him. maybe for the time being, but her being someone who’s open to the idea of people changing for the better somewhere down the line, leaves a bit of room for her to possibly change her mind if he does enough to allow her to consider it

so she can be a bit of a doormat in some cases, it all depends on how she sees the person that determines if that’s the case, but she generally won’t let you off if you’re being dumb/an ass to someone or if she gets advantageous vibes from you for example ( given she can.. be a little naive and is a p gentle soul ) so.. idk fgklsj good luck to the 99% ig ??

she does have a slight dependency on others despite her thinking all signs point to the opposite, and even though her and her mom never rly had a good relationship she still reels from the neglect/abandonment some days so handle her with Care if she deems you a close pal, 

spontaneous tbh, moving to jeju was a little last minute on her part, for one

she’s a little reclusive when focused on something, if she tells you she’s working on a track, it’s essentially a head’s up that you might not see her for a couple of days depending on how soon she gets it done — lowkey that bitch™ who makes up an illness to her boss, so she wouldn’t even show up for work if it’s more than just her fucking around

bc admittedly, a lot of what she posts is fucking around and liking it, her more thought-out and effort packed projects are hidden away on her laptop

a bit insecure with her work and just her general disposition ?? those first few points above mess with her a lot and leave her disheartened so.. my poor child

v strong overall, takes people’s shit and if it gets to her, she gets over it p fast. doesn’t dwell on much and will be courteous to you even if she’s declared you too toxic to stick around 24/7

isn’t exactly one to get angry ?? she’s basically just disappointed or annoyed at best 99% of the time, it takes a lot to get her beyond that

positive, ugh. maybe not sickeningly sweet, but still. kinda explained parts of it above and i’m 95% gone mentally rn, gotta spare that for other little details gsjklf

a cute bean who wants the best for everyone and is also clumsy as absolute fuCK

uhhh

plays piano and bass guitar ( you don’t know how tempted i was to say clarinet bc of jiwoo gjflkgds )

prob had some kind of little amateur rock band with a few music majors and took up bass for the hell of it lmao

loves animals, leans towards cats or big dogs. corgis and those little spaniels get a pass tho

speaking of, she has a cute little calico kitten ( i’m shit with pet names so that’s tba rgkjls ) who she Loves, her baby !!

sweater, ball cap and basic t shirt junkie

those glasses somin’s been wearing a lot of lately ?? hyeran wears them too but.. actually needs them, not even close to a fashion statement

doesn’t don much makeup unless someone’s dragging her to a party or something

thaT’S when she looks a little more like a classy early twenties bitch.. which lbr, is hard enough when adulthood is a whole Train Wreck for the most part LGFJSDL

not a heavy drinker, but the textbook definition of a lightweight so.. she’s always praying for anyone who has to deal with her dgfjklsfg

lattes are her livelihood

a bit of a hopeless romantic, god help her

her favourite subject in school was literature/writing and reads quite a bit on her breaks at the café

favourite music genres.. it’s easier to say what she doesn’t like/finds boring, which is prob country and some aspects of edm/pop, not into punk/metal either

these are super basic but.. i’ve gotta get myself together for the day so this’ll do for now i hope ??

so if you’d like to plot, im me here or on d*scord ! i prefer the latter personally, but whichever’s easiest for you. i have a list of a few of the specific wcs i have in mind ( for the time being, catch my lazy ass avoid listing all the basic ones and revising a few i have on an old blog ) for hyeran up now, which you can find here, so just lmk if any of them appeal to you !!