#you kind of have to build up an entire new worldview

[edwardshundredyearoldspunk]

what if I told you fifteen is actually suicidal? what if I told you his little speech about having felt everything and having experienced everything is the main source of his trauma? what it I told you he feels lost, aimless, thinks he has no purpose? what if I told you he's fucking bored with life? what it I told you he is almost definitely going to start engaging in impulsive thrill seeking behavior just to feel something? and what if I told you that, just like how rose was there to pull nine back from his anger, ruby is there to pull fifteen back from his apathy just by being so alive?

[slashers-and-rats]

bath time, billy.

billy lenz x gn!reader | as sfw as billy can get |

a/n: this is just bathtime with plot. that’s it. it’s cute fluff stuff.

billy didn’t remember the last time he had properly cleaned himself.

you had asked one day, as you yourself stepped out of the shower and into your bedroom. this had been some time after he had been discovered, but not long enough that he had settled into the routine you’d build. he didn’t even have his own room at this point. you had given him temporary comforts, rest assured. you bought new blankets for his mattress while you worked on getting a room for him ready. you had gone to the thrift store, buying clothes that he could rip and tear into while you slowly persuaded him away from his old, ratty sweater. you were improvising as you went along at this point. who could blame you? you move into a new, suspiciously cheap home in the middle of nowhere canada, and find yourself stuck with a pathetic, manic man living in your attic, who becomes something of a pet the second he receives any actual attention. this wasn’t something that had a set response you could pull out of your back pocket.

but you were trying. billy could see that. he was surprised by your kindness. when he had seeped his way through the floorboards and into your life, he had assumed he’d be back at the hospital within the week. maybe even the day. but no. you adjusted, you accepted, you compromised. he had been so awestruck, so amazed, he didn’t know what to do with himself. suddenly, instead of living for just his own selfish needs, he felt the need to not burden this other person who knew of his existence. now when he called, it was to request things that he knew you’d give him. it changed how he spoke, how he hissed and wheezed through the phone. still dirty, but more realistic to what you could provide. now when he thrashed upstairs, feeling anguish and insanity clawing his brain open, he was hyper aware that just underneath him laid you. your presence, your life, your body and soul… sometimes as he scratched over his chest, hacking up spit and curses, his limbs twitching with every syllable he threw up into the dusty room, he imagined he could reach down through the ceiling and grab you. he imagined his arms stretching through the wood, snatching you up in his claws, and yanking you up into his maw. he was a monster; hungry and starving for your flesh. but he restrained himself, ever aware of how much he could affect you, and how quickly he could ruin such a good set up.

he took care of himself the best he could, trying to live in tandem with you rather than reliant on you. he scrounged up his own food when he could, sharing with claude sometimes, and he cleaned up anything he messed with during his outings into the main house. he cleaned himself, the best he could. sometimes he reached out the attic window and caught snow in his hands, waiting until it melted to wipe over his face and whatever else had gotten dirty. when it rained, he waited until night, and would push his whole head out the window, feeling the water run down his hair and over his face. he’d wash his clothes in the rain as well, and hang it up in his room while he wrapped himself up in the blankets you had given him. he knew there were better ways of doing it all, but he didn’t want to ask for help. he was a man.

you quickly deconstructed this entire worldview. part of that process was the current moment. you sat on your bed, patting your head dry with a towel, already cozy in your pyjamas. you repeated your question yet again, “billy? when was the last time you properly cleaned up?”

billy really didn’t know. he sat there, mulling over the answer, eyes squinting in thought, before shrugging heavy. what counted as properly getting cleaned up? last time it had rained heavily was last week, and he had scrubbed his head as hard as he could, almost until it bled. if you were talking about a shower, he’d be thinking back too far to remember.

you frowned at him, eyebrows furrowing, then let your gaze soften. you couldn’t expect much more from him, could you?

you stood, padding over to the door and gesturing for billy to follow. “c’mon! you’re getting a bath, mister.” you smiled, a shining beacon of comfort in this oddly nerve wracking situation. you didn’t seem at all anxious, but billy was. this was something new. he didn’t like new. he didn’t like much. you, on the other hand; he liked everything about you.

he stared at you, unmoving from his place near your bed. you had seen him naked a few times, sure, but this was different. more intimate, he felt. you were going to be bathing him, like a maid would bathe a king. it felt too holy a ceremony for someone like billy. he was dirty, filled with grout and muck. his mouth alone was a swamp of obscene threats and vile depravity. but, you looked so determined.

he hesitated, but stepped in line behind you, and followed you out of the room and into the hall. he mumbled some things under his breath, beginning to bite at his fingertips out of anxiety. he watched you so closely as you gathered up some soft towels fresh from the dryer, and grabbed some pyjamas out of the clean basket nearby. he trailed close as you led him into the bathroom, placing everything down on a shelf near the counter. you then plucked a new toothbrush, some soaps, some bath bombs, and other bath essentials out of the bathroom cabinets and off the shelves.

billy was still staring when you finished gathering what you needed. “you get out of your clothes, alright? just stick them in the hamper. I’m gonna get the water running. do you think you’d like a hot bath? or something just warm?”

his eyes darted from you, to the hamper, and back to you. “h-hot… i want hot,” he replied, before returning to chewing on his nails. you nodded, turning around and crouching next to the tub, doing as you said you would. as you began running the water, he began to get undressed. he tugged his sweater over his head, then ran his fingertips down his stomach and to his jeans. why was he so nervous? this would be so easy if he was doing this because you were about to please him, but for some reason, knowing all you wanted to do was care for him made him anxious. what if he couldn’t be cared for? what if he did something that ruined this nice thing? what if he was all dirt, and you accidentally washed him down the drain as well?

he shook the thoughts from his head, sliding his jeans and underwear down his legs and stepping out of both. he gathered up the clothes and pushed them into the hamper, lingering for a moment when he touched the clothes you had been wearing that day. he wanted to reach in and bunch the fabric up in his hands. he wanted to push his face into it, breathing in your scent deep, and surrounding his senses with you. your humming pulled him away from these thoughts, and he straightened up.

the room was beginning to grow warm, and smelled of citrus. he wanted to bite at the bubbles in the water. maybe they’d taste good? the thought made his stomach grumble loud, and he mimicked the noise in a garbled way. it made you laugh, which made him smile too.

“guess i know what we’re doing next,” you joked, sitting up a little from your position bent over the tub. “i put the soap in already, as you can see. but, i left some bath bombs by the sink so you could pick one you liked. just grab one and bring it over!”

he nodded, turning to the options presented to him. he scanned over the weird, powdery balls, and grabbed one that smelled like oranges. he rolled it around in his hands as he padded over to the bath, looking down at you. you sat there on your knees right in front of him, his waist right at your eye level, and yet he couldn’t dare speak. usually he’d be so cocky, spewing obscenities at you and letting drool land on your face, but he couldn’t. he bit his tongue. the way you looked up at him, not a dirty thought in your mind. it made him choke up. it’s like you were worshipping him, serving him. his eyes couldn’t focus on you. if they did, he’d be stumbling into a pit of undesirable fantasies.

you reached your hand up, gesturing for him to give you something, and he handed you the bath bomb. “i’ll unwrap it and you can drop it in,” you explained, and peeled the plastic off of the ball. you handed it back, and he dropped it in the water, watching it fizz and colour the liquid around it a bright orange. “okay, get in.”

he nodded, but stayed standing there for a moment. it wasn’t until you gave him a comforting pat on the thigh that he lifted his leg and placed it tentatively in the water. for a moment it burned, and he yelped, but it soon became… nice. it reminded him of you. that gave him all the encouragement he needed, and chasing that familiar feeling, he quickly scrambled into the water and submerged himself to the neck. he breathed out hot, wheezing in a low tone. you reached out a little, worried for a moment, until the long breath turned into a moan. he dipped his head back against the edge of the tub, smiling wide and getting comfortable in the water.

“so, you like it?” you asked, and he nodded immediately. it felt so good. it really did feel like you. it enveloped his entire body, and warmed his cold bones; it smelled so pretty and tickled his nose. it made him feel light and smooth. he was squirming in the water, barely able to sit still with how much enjoyment he was getting. you smiled along with him, glad to see him relaxing, and used this distracted moment to gather up some soapy water on a scrubber.

“gimme your arm,” you instructed, and he lifted the limb closest to you. you began your work. you scrubbed over every inch of skin you could reach, making sure to get every surface smooth and shining.

you started with his arms, scrubbing the dirt and grime from his hands as well. you even pulled out your little nail kit. you got under his finger nails, cutting them down and filing them so he would be inclined not to bite. he had twitched a lot when you did this, finding the feeling very odd. after you had let go, and told him to look at how nice his hands looked, he had been so perplexed. he kept running his fingertips over the edges of his nails, muttering about how he had been declawed.

you moved to his chest then. he leaned more into this, his back arching so he could push into your touch. your sponge ran over his front, and your hands lingered at where the patches of chest hair grew into ivy along his torso. you scrubbed at the hair, making sure it felt smooth under your touch, before moving on. billy was delighted. he felt like he was getting all the attention in the world. he didn’t even complain when you yanked his arms up and scrubbed hard under them, though it did make him shriek a little. it was a new feeling, and he found it tickled his sides when you washed there. it made him snicker and giggle, and he flapped his limbs like wings, and snapped at your hands playfully. you splashed him with water, making him yelp yet again, before you continued on.

you made him turn around after. you worked over his shoulder blades, and it made him shudder. he played with his hands under the water, once again pushing into your touch. you replied by pressing your free hand against his shoulder, holding him in place while you worked on washing the dirt away. all the while, he continued to make sounds of content, sighing and whispering inaudible praises. he couldn’t help it. he loved every second of this. you were taking such good care of him. he felt cherished. he felt like something that was worth being taken care of, and that was very new to him.

you moved down to his legs. he gasped when your scrubber found it’s way to his inner thighs. it made you glance up at him, and he looked away quick, covering his mouth as he muttered out dirty things. billy tried to shut himself up, tried to stop himself from ruining this moment, but you knew he couldn’t help it. you chose to ignore him, for his sake. you continued on, allowing him to spill forth with nasty comments, while you ran your sponge up and down his waist and hips. you stopped at his crotch, finally handing him the reins and asking him if he could clean it himself. he nodded quick, and you turned away.

“I’m just gonna go grab the shampoo. you shouldn’t take that long,” you explained, and stood to do as you said. you went to the shelf near the bathtub as he cleaned himself off, and when you returned he was finished, front and back.

“b-billy’s all clean,” he cooed out, sounding almost proud of himself. “clean billy, squeaky clean. w-warm too, so warm. as warm as your fucking c-cu-“

you cut him off with a hand to his mouth. it wasn’t forceful. it was a soft gesture, something to stop him from doing what he feared most. making this moment anything but wholesome. most things he saw turned dirty and vile, being corrupted by his own mind, but this. for some reason, this felt clean, ironically enough.

billy gazed up at you as you grabbed the shower head from its place, pulling it down and turning the warm water on. “I’m gonna wet your head now,” you stated, and ran the soft stream over his face. he sighed deep, closing his eyes and letting the warmth run over him. you tapped his shoulder as you moved the shower head away from his hair.

“can you hold this while i put the shampoo in?” you asked. he nodded, grabbing it and holding it to his chest while you poured soap on your hand. you then ran it over his hair, before beginning to properly scrub at his scalp. the scratching felt nice. it made him begin mewling, drooling over his front as he got lost in the satisfying feeling. your nails dug lightly into his skull. he felt like if he moved suddenly, your hands would clip through his flesh and mould with his brain. he wouldn’t mind. you’d be attached forever, he thought.

you scrubbed away for a bit, before having him rinse out his own hair. you repeated this cycle, just for good measure, before putting the conditioner in. once this was rinsed out as well, you sat back on your heels.

“okay, all that’s left is to brush your teeth.” you patted your hands down against your thighs, before standing up and snatching something off the counter. you squeezed toothpaste onto the brush, got it wet under the faucet, before sitting back down. “open wide,” you instructed, tapping billy’s jaw with your finger.

he did as told, opening up his mouth and presenting his teeth. you began brushing, using your thumb to keep his chin down while you cleaned. he took this time to stare at you. you were so focused, making sure to get into all the nooks and crannies. you didn’t care he was drooling all over your hand, his tongue occasionally darting over to lick at your digits. you just continued to service him. when you began brushing at his tongue, he gagged. he hacked and sputtered, and you pulled away, huffing.

“yeah, the tongue is always hard.” you gave a sympathetic look, before patting him gently on the cheek. “don’t worry, we’re all done. just spit it out, we’re gonna drain the bath now anyways.” you reached into the water and pulled the plug out of the bottom of the tub. billy watched, and when your arm was out of the water, he spit out the remaining froth in his mouth. he licked over his teeth. they felt so smooth, and his gums tasted like peppermint. he sucked in his lips, tasting it all, while you stood and walked over to the bathroom counter.

“stand up while i grab your towel,” you ordered, and gathered up the item in your hand. billy stood to his full height then, dripping like a dog. he shook himself out like one too, whipping his hair around with a cackle. you couldn’t help but giggle along with him. you proceeded to wrap him in his towel, giving him a separate, smaller one for just his hair. he followed you out of the bathroom and back to the bedroom, passing him his clothes after. he dried himself off quick, pulling on the pyjamas.

“come here, let me brush your hair.” you sat down on your bed, patting the spot in front of you. he trotted over like a lap dog, sitting down in front of you. you made him lean his head back a bit, pulling a brush through his matted hair. he liked the way it stung his scalp, and he forced himself to swallow the moans that dared erupt from his throat. it was so hard to keep it all inside. with every pull of the bristles, he felt a shock through his nerves. when you finally finished, and used the towel to dry out his hair, he relaxed significantly. he hummed, leaning his head back into your touch.

“do you feel clean?” you asked, and he nodded.

“clean billy. squeaky clean,” he sung, making a squeaking sound. it made him giggle. “smells like you too,” he added, raising his arm to his nose and inhaling deeply. “smells like a dessert. you’re a dessert… my sweet treat…” he rasped out, voice deep and rough.

you rested the towel down on his neck, and sighed. for a moment, he just leaned back against you, feeling comfortable and safe. he almost felt normal, like this. he felt like a blank slate, somehow. like he had just been baptized. but the moment was cut short by his stomach roaring again. he laughed, mimicking the noise, and you chuckled along.

“let’s go get you something to eat, big guy.”

[cheemscakecat]

Invincible Spoilers

It actually makes a lot of sense that the Viltrumites latched on to family and changed their worldview because of it.

So for thousands of years, the dominant violent faction that killed the peace-loving Viltrumites sat unchallenged because the old peaceful ways were lost. They believed they were superior to the weaker species around them, and saw them as mere animals. Very few weapons could even hurt them, much less kill.

Under those circumstances, the killing of weak Viltrumites children made a twisted kind of sense. After all, there would always be more Viltrumites having children and the strong would live. They didn’t die often, so in their perspective, children were not such a precious resource as they are to humans.

Someone engineered a virus that could kill them. And it very nearly destroyed the entire species. There were only 50 full-blooded Viltrumites left in the wake of the pandemic.

Like Nolan said, they’re on the brink of extinction.

Nolan wrote books based on his missions to destroy threats to the dying Viltrumites species. He was the guy they sent to deal with threats and see how dangerous they really were.

So he was probably also the first Viltrumite to be tasked with having a hybrid child.

Before the virus, they wouldn’t have had offspring with “lesser beings”, but they couldn’t afford to be so picky with so few in their ranks. So why not send your danger guy to make sure it won’t give you another life threatening disease or result in a deformed child? To see if the rest can follow suit and repopulate with other species.

That’s why they sent him to live with humans, they’re the most compatible species that they could find.

Death shouldn’t be a concern under Viltrumite doctrine. And it wasn’t until the virus. But now that the remaining soldiers have watched their Viltrumite friends and family die, death holds new weight.

Nolan wouldn’t use death as a point to convince Mark if he didn’t somewhat understand the weight of it. And it’s also a point against himself, because he’s arguing out loud with himself at the same time. Why would you fight for Earth and let your people go extinct?

Viltrumite doctrine commands you to kill weak offspring. That’s how things have been done for thousands of years.

But how can a tactical minded-person see the value in doing that?! When the species is nearly extinct and you’ve gone through all the effort of getting attached and trying to raise that child? Old Viltrumite doctrine and the current situation are not compatible.

Nolan is torn between the two ideologies that are telling him how to show loyalty and care. One is telling him that he needs to kill Mark to uphold the holy doctrines of his people. The other is telling him that killing your child is stupid, wasteful, and a disservice to what he’s trying to achieve.

Mark telling him that even if the humans die, they’ll still be together has put more weight on the second, correct ideology. The whole reason you’re even here is to build your species back up and keep it from fading into myth. You care about other Viltrumites. It’s self-sabotaging to destroy the very offspring that you are having to repopulate. And if being half-Viltrumite is enough to make them valuable, shouldn’t the offspring’s life be preserved?

Let’s just get Anissa out of the way first. I’m not defending what she did. She didn’t even want to have kids in the first place, which I think is something the show should expand on. We don’t get to know why, but given the fact they’re meant to have hybrid children, I’m assuming part of it is feeling that the child may be a waste.

It would suck to be pregnant for 9 months only to have something wrong with the baby, especially if in their culture that offspring would be killed at some point. I think she decided to target Mark because he’s already part Viltrumite, and her child would get their powers faster so she could start testing the strength of the child. Wastes less time putting effort into the kid if he or she is not going to grow up Viltrumite material.

The show could also expand on the fact that she has an actual relationship with the father of her second child, and had her of her own volition, not because she was commanded to. It’s implied in the comic, but she needs more development this time around. Anyways, at some point she found actual value in her children, beyond their strength.

Kregg was so down for the cause that he had multiple families at once. And he makes a very good point to Thragg; why shouldn’t we protect our families if we’re repopulating?

He’s got like 10 families, that’s at least 10 Viltrumite kids if everything goes to plan. You really wanna forfeit going from 50 to 60 Viltrumites? Mans just has the natural and sane instinct to protect his loved ones and give his kids the chance to grow up. Thragg doesn’t.

Lucan is one of 50 remaining Viltrumites, and we don’t know the ratio of men to women. But even if there were 25 of each, both genders are a precious resource for repopulating. Should we really be surprised that a man who has had 25 women to choose from at most is unwilling to soil a relationship?

Yes, there’s billions of Earth women, but you don’t go from starving to finding yourself in a supermarket and magically stop being affected by the time you were starving. Kregg stocked up on as many families as possible: Lucan was so used to rationing that he decided to be the best he could to one family, which is still precious even in a sea of options.

Thragg doesn’t understand that. He’s the embodiment of their flawed purging ideology.

Everyone else’s natural nurturing instincts were dormant under the surface, and started sprouting up when they had Earth kids. Thragg’s nurturing instincts are in the Nether for the whole series. He seems dumb because the whole Violent Fascist Viltrumite ideology he lives by is dumb.

It goes against nature and it’s a bad survival strategy. We just get to see it spelled out because the virus has already happened and he isn’t adapting like everyone else. And what’s crazy is that his surviving kids adapted even after all his brainwashing. He could have changed, but he refused and stayed embedded in his ideology his entire life.

I didn’t know where to put Thula, but she’s cool now too. [Cool as in not evil, I mean. She was never lame.]

[jackgoodfellow]

~ King of Winter and Toxic Positivity ~

I've made you all a "motivational" poster! 🥰🥰🥰

" Manifest your dream reality through sheer force of will! Anyone can do it! Pull yourself up by the bootstraps! Be a self-made king! Good things happen to good people! Get in that grindset! The only one standing in the way of your dreams is you! Anyone can do it! Nothing is impossible! Everything happens for a reason! Everything will be fine, so don't worry! You can do whatever you set your mind to! Never give up on anything! Every failure is just an opportunity in disguise! Have you tried yoga?? Have you tried supplements? Would you like to hear about an exciting new business opportunity? It's all part of God's plan! You just gotta stop fearing SUCCESS. Happiness is a choice! Delete negativity! Push every boundary! For winners, limits are merely suggestions! Lean in! Don't take no for an answer!! Anyone can do it!! "

[for those who deal with eyestrain, there's a plain-text version of the above pink and green paragraph of assorted toxic positivity slogans copied down at the bottom of the post.]

Anyway, it turns out the people who are willing to look you in the face and tell you that your oppressive burdens are in fact not that heavy at all... are people that either don't have that same burden, or people who are comfortable forcing someone else to carry it for them. - All while they proudly take the credit.

and also, he's HORRIBLE it's FANTASTIC I love him, 11/10, Evil Gay Bitch Gold Medalist, REALLY puts the MLM into mlm [the "Multi-Level-Marketing" into "man-loving-man"]

❄ ❄ ❄

More context and thoughts, if you're a media analysis nerd:

I am, however, obviously a media analysis JOCK 😅

So, the actual toxic positivity quote that I used in the image was inspired by the commentary made in these two episodes of the excellent anti-fatphobia (and therefore anti-capitalist) podcast "Maintenance Phase".

It's a two-parter on this one piece-of-shit white lady wellness influencer, and the hosts are funny and awesome and the entire catalogue of the podcast matters a lot.

[Sidenote: the episode "Is Being Fat Bad For You?" is VITAL shit. - My main takeaway has been that it's ALWAYS better to be fat than to be fatphobic. Every time.]

But the main point that is relevant here is the way this podcast helps peel back the ugly truth of a broader phenenomen:

In other words, it is notable that the kind of people who say things like "We all have the same 24 hours in a day!" are generally also people who already have the money to pay someone else to clean their house, thus literally giving them more free hours in a day, than say, the people they are paying (or underpaying) to give them that time.

And what stuck with me most from these two episodes is the absolute open disrespect that toxically positive privileged people often have for the very individuals they are relying on for all those extra hours they seem to find in a day.

Because the thing is, most of them absolutely buy their own bullshit. They HAVE to.

In order to justify the way of the world to themselves and ease their guilt over their role in it (while still maintaining all their power), they end up so good at lying to themselves that they see no irony in funding their personal business ventures with money from their wealthy parents and spouses... and then calling themselves "self-made."

Anyone can do it, after all! (There are simply certain things that are best left unsaid! Best not to be rude!) And any kind of shake to this worldview means they might just-- crumble to dust!!

And in my personal experience as a Poor Cripple [TM], those folks are champions at shaming the poor and disabled.

Folks like that might very well might very well force someone else to bear the crushing madness of their golden crown, so that they are free to build a beautiful kingdom of ice and agreeability!

They may see no issue, then, as they oh-so-benevolently relax on their throne, being waited upon and granting gifts to pretty strangers - all while pitying that nothing can be done for their poor disgusting maniac of a neighbor--except, of course, to punish them for the crimes they commit in their weak-willed madness~ 💚🩷

I. FUCKIN'. LOVE THIS SHIT, Y'ALL. GOOD WRITING. HELL YEAH.

[Not shown: the literal 6-page essay I wrote today while trying to explain FULLY and COMPLETELY why The Winter King episode matters so much to me. Turns out, in order to do that, I had to talk about the way casual ableism and classism can easily become extreme ableism and classism--and THAT got dark REAL FAST.

I didn't even finish writing it! I was headed to 8 pages at LEAST (and that's not even including talking about the wonderful artistic craftsmanship of the episode!!) when I realized that people might not reblog this as much if it included AN IN-DEPTH PERSONAL MANIFESTO ABOUT THE GRIM REALITIES OF CAPITALISM AND ABLEISM. So like... maybe that's a separate post lol]

Plain-text version of the colorful paragraph:

Manifest your dream reality through sheer force of will! Anyone can do it! Pull yourself up by the bootstraps! Be a self-made king! Good things happen to good people! Get in that grindset! The only one standing in the way of your dreams is you! Anyone can do it! Nothing is impossible! Everything happens for a reason! Everything will always be fine! You can do anything you set your mind to! Never give up on anything! Every failure is just an opportunity in disguise! Have you tried yoga? You just gotta stop fearing SUCCESS. Happiness is a choice! Delete negativity! Push every boundary! Limits are merely suggestions! Lean in! Don't take no for an answer!! Anyone can do it!!

[patriciavetinari]

Wait I think I figured out the subculture thing in the shower and I think the answer is capitalism as per usual.

So, teens are rarely the spark of the subculture. Not never, but rarely. If anything, it's the college students and some young adults who are very visible or aquired certain popularity to be accessible to the teens. But teens are certainly most important carriers of any subculture, teens are the ones bringing the loud statement of the subculture to their conformist homes and, well, distinguishing themselves from whatever is the 'norm', not even neccessarily the 'accepted' (hipsters rarely struggled with that other than at the hands of other subcultures) but the 'mainstream'. Hipsters were actually very particular about NOT being mainstream even if entirely inoffensive about their demeanor.

The problem I think now is that whoever might be the spark for any new hypothetical subculture, has to go viral or likely goes viral due to increasing prevalence of social media (which was NOT the case with hipsters who despised facebook - too mainstream - and maybe dabbled in twitter but likely just hung out on pinterest and select few on tumblr).

Subcultures I think are incompatible with going viral in approval. If everyone likes this and wants something similar or to emulate it – it's not 'sub', it's culture, it's mainstream. And the companies know that. Clothing and decor and 'lifestyle' companies have harnessed this and now that I think of it, it started precisely around the hipster era, heralding the end of it.

So if any personality teens like – musician, actor, artist, writer gets enough likes on twitter, thus securing the teenage working bees will start carrying their style in a little flock – companies also see that and start producing and advertising exactly that style of clothing, decor and lifestyle. Everything that is different get's glossed and castarted and thrown on shein, thus becoming mainstream immediately.

Especially if you pair that with the book bans, the 'unalived' and the 'seggs' and the sanitisation of internet and social media, rebranding tough questions as 'too difficult', when 'Huckleberry Finn' is seen as ~problematique~ for depicting racism, the whole deal of booktok, and this insufferable, gagged and castrated media as the main source of this kind of inspiration for kids – is it a wonder anything dostinguishable and even mildly offensive struggles to be born?

So if you can't discuss death - how can you be goth? If you can't discuss suicide - are you even emo? If you can't talk about vandalism or post even a measly 'ACAB' without getting banned - what hope is there for punk? If you can't access or discuss controversial ideas some would consider offensive – how can you build a loud identity around (the lack of) such ideas? Even the fucking hipsters had this controversial idea of 'I liked it before it was mainstream'- yeah, it wasn't a good idea, but I disagree with emos on several points as well, yet I will always applaud their commitment to the point of view. Giving your philosophy a dresscode is a ballsy move that requires questioning authority even if in the end that philosophy is reconsidered.

Subculture is a community, communities (based on common interests) are now formed online more than in person, under the watch of companies who do not want any controversy near their precious ads, teens have not known topic-centered forums, just the algorythm spoon-feeding them 'content' and shein advertising 'aesthetics' one can change daily with enough products, all while maintining the most generic preferences and opinions, not backing up those aesthetics with any controversial worldview or philosophy or idea, juat making playlist after playlist for every aesthetic out of the minstreamest spotify top 100 artists, claiming taylor swift has goth songs or something (she doesn't. ABBA is more goth than taylor swift).

So I think to form a proper, healthy subculture, teens need to leave social media, tiktok and instagram particularly and read a bunch of banned books about death and suicide and capitalism and worker's struggle and sex and gender and stuff. But they can't because those books are banned or overshadowed by booktok friends-to-lovers-YA, and they've taken their spaces away and instead put up H&Ms selling them aesthetics.

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

Thank you so much for the Jason review rec list! It motivates me to start reading his comics, tbh. It helps tremendously that you put so many details of his characterization in it, because it prepares me of the way hes written in it! :D I do have a question, which is: in your opinion, which of runs have the most consistent writing/characterization? Ive heard that hes written.. very inconsistently bcs they dont know how to write him (wont let him be an anti-hero or challenge batman, which also brings me to another question on what counts as his true characterization; is it him before the n52 reboot?) Thank you!

I'm really glad to hear that! I hope you have lots of fun exploring Jason comics :D

Wow are both of those questions very difficult to answer! But I shall do my best to under the cut!

Most runs are very internally consistent with regards to his characterization. Jason will stay mostly the same throughout the run, or have an actual character arc that keeps him feeling like the same character throughout.

Batman and Robin (2009) is a notable because Jason is written by two different authors in it, and Grant Morrison's Jason and Judd Winick's Jason have very different vibes.

What people usually mean when they say he's written inconsistently is that every author has a different take on what Jason should be like, and they all have a different idea about what kind of story they want to tell using him.

Judd Winick read Hush and thought something along the lines of "Wow this story would have been so much better if Jason had actually been the one behind everything that happened here!" and so he wrote Under the Red Hood, and made Jason into Evil Batman: someone with all of Batman's methods and techniques, yet without the commitment not to kill and with a serious thirst for vengeance.

Grant Morrison wanted a much more traditional Batman villain. Villains who blame Bruce for all their problems despite Bruce not actually being at fault and then killing people about it are pretty common. Morrison took that idea and used Jason to fit this mold in a new era where Bruce was gone and Dick Grayson took up the Batman mantle.

Scott Lobdell wanted a story about redemption and healing and family. So Jason gets repeatedly paired with other people to care for or to love and shown parallels in his own life that force him to confront his own unwillingness to forgive and become a much, much gentler person.

The authors of The Man Who Stopped Laughing were faced with the challenge of finding a suitable antagonist for the Joker. Jason is a character with enough of a violent streak to actually be menacing to the embodiment of all evil that is the Joker. But that requires bringing out that murderous streak, and thereby countering Lobdell's characterization.

Which of these is the true characterization?

None of them.

All of them.

One True Characterization can't exist in comics. Especially not DC comics which has a policy of almost routinely destroying their entire multiverse and building it back up from scratch.

Every character's personality is an aggregate of all the different stories that have been told about them. Those stories are told by dozens of different people, in a constantly shifting setting, full of characters who are also written by dozens of different people. What is and isn't canon changes constantly. All you can do is read a bunch of comics and get the general vibe of a character from that.

Jason's characterizations in particular have been so widely different that it's hard to figure out what exactly you should count as being true to him.

The reason many people may point to pre-new52 comics as 'true' characterization is that an important part of characterizing is keeping in mind the events the character has gone through and how those might impact their thinking and worldview. During the time span of around 1980-2009 DC comics were written such that it was pretty easy to make a timeline of events for any given character. Post-new52 I and many others find it nearly impossible to tell what history any of the characters have.

In between 2009 and now there have been at least two or three reboots. So, for any comic passed 2009 here is a list of questions about Jason that I can't answer:

Has Jason ever been to prison?

Did Jason fight Tim in Titan's Tower?

Was the Red Robin identity originally held by Jason?

Did Jason ever attempt to be Batman?

Has Jason actually stabbed Tim before?

Did Jason ever shoot Damian and Dick?

Does Jason remember the time he spent multiverse hopping with Donna Troy and Kyle Raynor?

Did he ever have tentacles?

Does he know that Dick has killed people? For that matter: Has Dick killed anyone?? Did Blockbuster ever exist??? Is that time he killed the Joker counted as canon still????

Did Jason ever kidnap Mia Dearden?

How many people has Jason killed? I can't even tell you if he's killed less or more than 100

Did the All-Caste thing happen?? Did Lost Days happen???

Was he involved in Hush?

These are really important questions! The list does not stop there either!

This uncertainty does not invalidate the newer comics, but the nature of the reboots does mean that the already difficult task of getting a 'true Jason' is impossible. You have to take every reboot as a reboot, meaning that new-52 Jason and Rebirth Jason and 2005-2009 Jason are literally alternate universe versions of each other. This is both true on a meta level, and has been written into the canon of the fictional world he lives in. Arguing that one is more real than the other is futile.

(Though it does mean that if you want a stable timeline, starting with 2005-2009 era comics is a good idea. It's easier to follow along with what is supposed to have happened and when. It also contains the majority of the events that fandom likes to play off of.)

The versions I like best reside mostly in the 2005-2009 era, and that's true for most of the other Jason fans that I follow on Tumblr, but I know of a few blogs who much prefer Rebirth Jason and neither of us can definitively prove that one Jason or the other is more valid or canon or true or whatever.

Most arguments about which Jason is the true Jason will just come down to personal preference anyways. Many, many people could write essays, pulling up sources and comic panels, to argue very effectively that I'm wrong about Brothers In Blood and Batman and Robin (2009) #1-#6 being in character for him. That's okay. It's cool even! The fact that he is messy and complicated and can be interpreted so many different ways is great! As you read, you'll find out which versions appeal to you best and they might be very different than mine!

My biggest advice is to read each author's rendition of Jason with an open mind, and an open heart, and just see if you like it!

Don't worry about searching out the real Jason. Just vibe with the stories that have been made about him and think about how each appeals or doesn't appeal to you. If you start reading, you'll develop an understanding of him. Your personal interactions with the art/stories will always be more valuable than figuring out the fan or authorial consensus about him.

[eccentric-nucleus]

anyway in news not about web fiction i decided to get a city on mars recently, and while i was getting it i also got a few other books, so i might do some brief book reports as i try to work through them

'a city on mars' was basically as expected? the secret twist is that the entire latter half is about space law and how complicated the existing space law is & how, no, you can't just have some people set up homesteads and call it a win for private ownership. it's complicated. but they did have a whole chapter about the ecological aspect, namely, we (as humans) have no clue how to construct and maintain a fully-sealed biosphere, and there's very little (though not no) funding going towards running, you know, Biosphere 3-through-5000 experiments to figure that out. it's kind of vitally important to be able to grow food and produce oxygen in a closed loop, and we can't really even do it on earth much less in outer space or on another planet. (the iss for reference gets oxygen through electrolysis, and it gets water by collecting urine etc as well as environmental humidity. they're solar-powered. so plants aren't necessarily required for oxygen so long as you have a lot of water & water recycling; it's just a question of how much algae sludge you want people to be eating.)

anyway, it was basically some pop sci light reading where i basically already knew their basic thesis & conclusion. reading books that agree with my worldview, that's me

the next book in my pile is reigning the river, which is... we'll see. i'm only a chapter into it so far & i'm not sure i'm gonna read the whole thing, depending on what it focuses on. it's way more densely anthropological, so sometimes the prose gets a little frustrating to read, but i mean. that's scholarly texts for you. i really need to read more of this and fewer webnovels V:

so far it's mostly just sharply underlining: hey this shit is complicated. there's a dense web of social, legal, technological, political, and religious factors that go into basically anything that happens, and so now here are 200 pages about how those apply to this specific river. this is about the years 1991-2008, roughly, and there's a little statement somewhere that's like "the book documents the rocky past of the bagmati and closes on the formation of a promising new river action plan." well as it turns out history doesn't just stop happening and the river action plan didn't turn out so great. apparently the thing they're currently trying (in 2023) is making huge dams to collect rainwater in artificial lakes during the rainy season so they can release water during the dry season to keep the river flowing at all. several scientists involved have been like "that's not gonna work" but they're gonna build some dams anyway!!

anyway it looks to be an interesting if potentially frustrating and depressing read given the decade-and-change of stuff that's happened after it was published.

[cookinguptales]

wwdits tarot: the hierophant

Thanks for all the support you’ve all given me so far. ;; When I first started writing these, I didn’t think anyone was reading them. But I’ve gotten some really sweet messages and now?? Some people are drawing cards based on my meta??

Love it, *chef’s kiss*, perfect, I cry. I love seeing what y’all come up with. My heart can’t take it. lmao

ANYWAY… Next up. V. The Hierophant.

This is another one of those very fun examples where the character I’ve chosen suits both the upright and reversed meaning of the card.

The Hierophant is a card of old knowledge. It usually implores you to listen to people who have more experience than you do and incorporate their wisdom into your life. This could be a parent, a teacher, a spiritual leader…

A Guide, if you will.

When upright, The Hierophant is really a card of the establishment. There’s a strong emphasis towards established institutions, like universities, churches, or uh. Vampiric councils, as the case may be. It’s a card that says sometimes, the old ways are the best ways.

For much of her time in WWDITS, The Guide has fulfilled this role. She has guided vampires as they fulfill their vampiric council roles for literally centuries. She knows all the rules, all the tips, all the tricks. She knows exactly the way this ancient hierarchical world works — and she is deeply devoted to it.

The Guide is not a vampire that deals well with change. She has panic attacks whenever people start to deviate from the old ways too much, and she is deeply attached to the world that she’s created for herself.

Even if, as we eventually find out, it has become her prison.

You see, as much as The Guide has dedicated her life to, well, guiding and upholding the rules, regulations, and traditions of the vampiric council, that’s not who she really is. She’s a wild child, a rebellious lady — she’s, as they say, a very bad vampire.

Which brings us to the reversed meaning of The Hierophant. When reversed, The Hierophant is a card that tells us to make our own path. Yes, you should listen to established doctrine — but then you should build on it. You should seek out other viewpoints. You should create a worldview all your own, and derive your own meaning from it. And boy does she do that in s4.

In s4, The Guide brings together her wild past and structured present to create a sort of breathless future. She’s still not entirely confident in her new realm (nor is she really sure where she stands with her new boss), but she’s finally herself in a way she hasn’t been allowed to be in a long time.

She is free.

(Free to make very bad decisions sometimes, perhaps, but don’t they all?)

I love how The Guide is attached to the past (especially the council) but is starting to kind of use that as her own power rather than it just being a punishment tethering her down. Yes, she’s spent thousands of years working in the bowels of the vampiric council — but that means that her wraiths are loyal to her and her alone. Yes, she might be a little too into lives past — but she can use their souls to reanimate them as she pleases.

I really hope that in the future she really finds her footing like Guillermo is starting to. She deserves to reverse this card and find a new path forward all her own.

Now, as usual, the imagery:

The Rider-Smith-Waite is a deck that derives from the Tarot de Marseille, which has The Hierophant listed as The Pope, and while they tried to distance themselves somewhat from the Christian overtones, a lot of that symbolism is still here in the card.

The Hierophant sits on a throne between two pillars and raises his right hand in a sign of benediction. In his left hand, a papal cross. There are a lot of crosses, honestly, and you can see his worshipers/adherents in front of him. The keys symbolize the secret knowledge only he can unlock.

(There are also a lot of threes here because of the holy trinity.)

Honestly, though... This is What We Do In The Shadows. That's not really our style here.

So we're not gonna do a lot of that.

Instead, I want the throne to be that of the vampiric council, and I want her to be lounging atop it. Maybe the vampires are out. Maybe she's simply taken what she's due. I don't know; all I know is that for once, I'm making sure she's allowed to sit in the seat that she has so zealously guarded for centuries.

The pillars of the vampiric council stand at her sides, but we can see the cracks in them. This aged institution is starting to crumble, and why? Because we see The Guide's sledgehammers crossed at her feet instead of keys. She still has keys, though. They are being held in her hand; despite technically being subservient for all these years, she's really been the one to hold the keys to this building and everything in it, hasn't she? And I think at this point, she always will.

The wraiths bowing at her feet will make sure of it.

wwdits tarot masterpost

[em-dash-press]

The Six Types of Courage for Characters

It's exciting to write a story about someone who does something courageous. There's a tiny part in all of us that wants to help the people we love or do something good while we're on this planet.

Writers can sometimes fall into a world building habit of thinking that the most courageous characters have to be superheroes or people doing extreme, drastic things to save lives. That isn't always true!

There are many ways to write a character arc that helps protagonists grow by finding their courage. It all depends on which type you want to write about.

1. Courage Stemming From Morality

When someone stands up for something or someone they think is right, it comes from their morals. Moral courage often becomes most conflicting when it's up against groupthink that views it as unpopular or too uncomfortable to do.

Examples: leaving a marriage when your values no longer align with your spouse's; standing up to a bully even if you could get in trouble

2. Courage Stemming From Physical Actions

Writing about physical courage may seem easy, but it requires buildup or sacrifice from the protagonist. They often have to give up some part of themselves or their lives to follow through on their courageous action. This could be the climactic moment in a story or the instigating action that starts their entire arc.

Examples: trekking into the wilderness to find a missing loved one; working a physically demanding job as a secondary source of income to feed family members

3. Courage Stemming From Spiritual Challenges

Facing spiritual challenges is terrifying. It takes great courage to reflect on your most closely held beliefs and make adjustments based on a changing worldview or the presentation of information you didn't know before. This type of change can have personal, interpersonal, social, and even economic consequences based on your protagonist's life.

Examples: breaking away from a religious congregation after moving outside a hometown; accepting that other beliefs can also be true after making friends who have other religions

4. Courage Stemming From Social Adversity

Something that requires social courage often involves some kind of backlash or embarrassment afterward. It may mean that your protagonist prioritizes their values or their wellbeing over the status quo in their social circles or society.

Examples: a protagonist living as their authentic self in a community that doesn't understand what authentic gender expression looks like/means; a character getting involved in a volunteer organization even if it means their family or loved ones pressure them to leave it

5. Courage Stemming From Humility

It takes great courage to feel like you know a lot about a subject and humble yourself to admit that you could learn more or didn't know the facts about something. The courage may lead to growth or a further breaking down of a character until they reach a point where they want to become a better version of themselves.

Examples: a protagonist experiencing a new culture and realizing their hometown culture isn't always right/the best life has to offer; recognizing you're wrong about something and reading books/listening to experts/listening to people involved in that topic to learn more and become a better person/advocate/supporter

6. Courage Stemming From the Heart

Emotional courage is a quiet bravery that other people might never even realize happened. It's often an internal debate that changes how a character lives or interacts with others afterward.

Examples: working with a therapist to heal from an experience even if it's uncomfortable or scary; reconnecting with loved ones after a turbulent history with the intention or working with them to move forward together

---

There are many forms of courage that can cause character growth or happen during a character's arc. You can even mix and match them to tackle bigger themes or smaller subplots. It depends on what you want to say or exhibit through your work.

[panharmonium]

old bookends!au meta that i typed up in a frenzy one night during our last rewatch and then never posted because things disappear in my drafts, but i’m cleaning them out today

under the cut because it’s really only relevant to padmerrie 🙃

“I LOANED IT TO YOU THREE YEARS AGO!!!!!”

this whole sequence is reminding me of a recurring bookends thought i often have which is just that kakashi actually allowing himself to have fights with people who aren’t obito is kind of a big thing for him and a sign that’s he’s (still!) getting better all the time

like - i imagine that bookends!kakashi in the aftermath of obito disappearing goes through a long isolationist period because:

a) he can barely keep his head above water as is and he does not have the time or energy or brainspace for anything that isn’t keeping a child alive and semi-well-adjusted (always at kakashi’s own expense in those early years, because preventing sasuke from becoming “like him” and suffering “like that” is the reason he’s running up that hill, to the point where it’s just.  bad for his own personal and emotional well-being but simultaneously a necessary sacrifice that he doesn’t regret and that sasuke will someday recognize for the herculean lifesaving choice that it was) 

and b) he’s reeling from the fact that the person who rewired his worldview and taught him to love/trust people abandoned him and left him to drown, and at some point, you know, the lesson about not relying on anyone else sinks in, for a kid whose father killed himself right where little kakashi would find the body, for someone who then grew up in a system of state “care” and fled from it when his one possible way out (minato) was murdered for the entire country to see, who survived on his own and never had anybody to take care of him ever and then got burned by the one person who ever convinced him to give human connections a try again despite all of that - if that person could do him like this, then how is he supposed to trust anybody else to have his back? 

if kakashi can’t count on obito, he can’t count on anybody.  the stakes are too high here.  sasuke is too important.  kakashi can’t rely on anyone to Save the Child (read: to prevent the creation of another kid with kakashi’s own brand of trauma) except himself.  anyone else is too much of a risk, and he literally does not have the brainspace for "friends” just now.  

and then, a little later, when he’s starting to come out of his shell and reconnect with old friends (yamato gai etc) and make new friends for the first time in ages (iruka), he’s still not letting himself be totally free with them, either, because kakashi, as we know, internalizes everything and carries the weight of the past on his back even when the guilt isn’t his to claim, so there is this subconscious piece of him that remembers the last time he lost a friend and is still half-convinced that he was the one responsible for obito disappearing on him (no), and we know kakashi already has this underlying streak of thinking he’s intrinsically less worthy than everyone else, he’s hard to love, it’s hard to be his friend, he’s the trash and other people are the trash collectors cleaning him up and making him better.  so he doesn’t let himself be his full authentic self with his new connections either, because that would mean he’d have to have feelings and needs and maybe he would even get sad or upset or angry sometimes, and you can’t DO things like that when there’s no room for error in your life, when every little thing you do might torpedo the tiny bit of stability you’ve cobbled together for yourself, when every little mistake you make might destroy the relationships you’ve started building.  

he holds himself to an impossible, inhumane standard, because that’s what he’s always had to do to survive, and his relationships are stunted as a result, because it’s hard to be deep, true friends with a person who’s always wearing a mask, even if said person is doing it to (supposedly) make things easier for you.  and it’s hardly fair to the people currently around him, who would never begrudge him his bad days or condemn him for a less-than-proud moment, who would never reject him because he once expressed himself poorly or reacted to being hurt.  him withholding those parts of himself is a trust problem on his end, and even though it’s wholly understandable, it impairs his relationships for years.  (like - people like gai and yamato have known kakashi long enough to know when he’s doing this, and while gai possesses an impressive level of immunity to kakashi’s behavior, yamato is always second-guessing himself, because if someone is supposed to be your friend, and then they don’t actually trust you to, you know, be their friend, it’s like - “what am i doing wrong?”  it’s a constant reminder that you aren’t the intimate friend you want to be, that they won’t let you close that distance, and you have to wonder what is it about you that makes you not enough.)

so i love this image of kakashi, several years on, being for once SO delightfully unrestrained, so quick to speak up when something pisses him off, so ready to risk having the fight.  he’s spent so much time swallowing his own feelings and putting his own needs aside and never letting himself be visibly angry or upset about anything (because anger takes energy, anger distracts you from surviving, anger makes you a less effective caregiver [especially to a very angry kid], and if you let yourself be angry about one thing you might suddenly realize that you are angry about a LOT of things, and that will open up a can of worms you can’t repack), so him actually allowing himself to get mad and have a stupid fight with someone who isn’t obito (without expecting said person to bail on him like obito) is like when you see a little crocus nub clawing its way out of the snow and you’re like “oh!  that plant isn’t dead after all!  look at him go!  look at him grow!”

[gwaeddblaidd]

Feed the Wolf Chapter 3: Embrace (Excerpt)

“I just don’t know what bothers me more…” Enid begins, apparently deciding to confide in me. She has my full attention as she speaks. “...the fact that he nearly killed me, or that I nearly killed him. It’s not like we were ever close, but I thought of him as a friend. When he held me up against that tree, though, there was nothing but hate in his eyes. It was so… easy for him.”

A mixture of hurt and contempt appears on her face. “Whatever I thought we were, he clearly didn’t feel the same. How can someone pretend like that? What kind of fucked up do you have to be to keep that up for so long? For months?”

Her voice raises and her breaths between words become ragged, the beginnings of a growl rising in her throat. “Worst of all, Wednesday doesn’t even seem fazed! It should be worse for her – she was so much closer to him than me – but she moved on so quickly. What does that say about me? I feel like I can barely trust people anymore! I… I don’t feel the same as I used to. I don’t feel like myself.” She takes in a deep, steadying breath.

“Betrayal is… hard,” I offer. It’s a feeling I know well but putting it into words is difficult. “It can shatter your worldview and leave you scrambling to build up your defences so that you can’t be hurt the same way again. It hardens you, and not in a good way…”

Our eyes meet and I see tears beginning to well; I must’ve struck a chord with her. But I can’t just leave the thought there. All I’ve said so far amounts to ‘that sucks, and it will continue to suck’, which isn’t particularly helpful. I try my best to muster an unfamiliar optimism.

“You can bounce back, though. It can and will get easier; it just takes time. You’ll build new bonds and form new relationships, and you’ll learn to trust again.” I stop abruptly, realising that there is in fact some truth behind my own words. Earlier in the day, I told Enid that I trusted her, and although I wasn’t lying I wouldn’t say I was entirely confident. But now, offering my support as she pours her heart out to me, I realise that there’s no one in the world I trust more. When was the last time I could honestly say that I trusted someone?

“I hope you’re right,” she says, offering a sad little smile that breaks my heart. I can tell though that there’s still something else bothering her.

“Was there anything else?” I ask, trying my best not to sound too probing.

She sighs but the exhale hitches and comes across more like a whimper. “It’s true that he nearly killed me – he probably would have if his dad hadn’t shown up – but that doesn’t excuse what I did to him…”

She pauses, thinking, then lets out a short self-deprecating laugh. “I mean, I can’t even handle blood most of the time, but when I fought him? I felt the flesh tearing around my claws, his bones breaking against my feet. I tasted his blood as my teeth ripped into his throat; I tasted his fear as he realised he underestimated me. And all the while, I felt nothing. Not a scrap of guilt or remorse.”

“It was self-defence, Enid. You did what you had to do.”

Any remaining semblance of levity vanishes entirely. “If that’s what self-defence looks like for a wolf, then… I don’t want it. I don’t want to be a wolf.”

That hits me hard. Never have I related more to a sentiment. Her tears begin to fall as she lowers her head, and I feel a pricking at my own eyes. She raises a hand to her face to wipe away the tears but stops as her claws suddenly extend with an audible shing. She drops her hand and growls in frustration, resigning herself to allow the droplets to fall from her face. Before my mind can react, my body is already moving, shuffling over to her on my knees. As I clock what’s happening and begin to feel apprehensive, my arms act with a mind of their own, wrapping around her and drawing her into an embrace. It’s clumsy, the blankets clinging to our bodies somewhat obstructive, but even so I can feel her warmth through the layers. She’s… so very warm.

We sit there motionless for a little while, and without any response from her I soon start to regret not stopping myself. She feels tense and her breathing has slowed, short gasps for air escaping from her mouth between periods of silence. I’m about to pull away when she finally moves. Her arms reach up behind me and find homes, one hand laid across the small of my back and the other finding a purchase about my shoulder. She pulls me in tightly and lays her head on my shoulder, her face nuzzling into my neck. I feel the dampness of her tear-stained cheeks stinging my jaw, the physical manifestation of her sorrow more painful to me than any injury. Stifled snivelling gives way to open weeping, and as the floodgates are opened I can stop my own eyes from streaming no longer. She cries into my neck and I into her hair, together forming a shameless pile of fur, tears and anguish.

Time passes, tears are shed and eventually Enid’s sobbing quiets and settles into a soft mewling punctuated by shaky little breaths. My head remains resting on hers, keeping her held securely against me. Right now, in this moment, I feel as if I would do anything to protect her from harm; I would offer everything I have in sacrifice to shield her from the world. Her scent fills my nostrils and every tiny sound she makes is reverberant in my ears. The rest of the world falls away and all that’s left is her. My mind is filled with everything that she is. Some sceptical part of me knows that this is likely just a result of wolven biology, but does that make the feeling any less real? I don’t want to move, but my wolf’s timing is impeccable and I can feel it stirring in the back of my mind. I look up to the moon above and bask in its grandeur for a moment. Then, I feel it. It’s time.

With reluctant hands on her shoulders, I gently ease Enid away, breaking our embrace. A whine escapes her throat as I push her away, her head hanging limp as it’s denied the support of my neck. She raises her head lazily and slowly opens her eyes, revealing bright amber irises in place of her usual blue-hazel. Her eyes take a moment to focus on my face, but as they do there’s a flicker of realisation. Her pupils contract and her eyes open wide; I’ve no doubt my own eyes have turned a similar shade. We share a look of understanding then pull away from each other entirely, the full moon finally beckoning us to join its celebration. Our transformations begin as our howls rise from deep in our throats in unison, harmonising in such a way that no musical piece could ever hope to accomplish. Our song echoes through the night as I relinquish control.

---

Title: Feed the Wolf

Fandom: Wednesday

Rating: T

Chapters: 7 of 12

Links: AO3, FF.net

Summary: As the dust settles on the Hyde incident, Nevermore is slowly but surely returning to a calmer, safer state. But for those involved, the scars may take a while longer to fully heal. Gelert Davies, a half-werewolf student, has always kept himself out of trouble as best he could, but a chance encounter will test his resolve and force him to face parts of himself long abandoned.

Tags: Enid Sinclair, Wednesday Addams, Original Character(s), Enid Sinclair/Original Male Character(s), Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Wolf Instincts, Loss of Control, Injury Recovery, Self-Hatred, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Courting Rituals, Werewolf Courting, Werewolf Culture, Eventual Romance, Family Issues, POV First Person

Thank you for reading, and have a wonderful day! :)

[tharizdun-03]

86 Part 2 Review

I am moving some of my Twitter threads over to Tumblr as well. This is one of them.

Part 2 was a bit better. We didn't focus too much on the world-building issues that Part 1 has, which was immediately an improvement, but the foundation is still wonky with some underdeveloped characters, but it has its moments here and there. It ended well.

Let’s talk about Shin, cause he’s really the main character in this part. I often found him quite bland tbh. I do still think that most of his intrigue was in his backstory with his brother, which wasn’t much of a story, it was just back. It was that underdeveloped.

I mentioned it in my thread for Part 1, but as that part of his character is finished, he’s just really fucking boring in this part, my God. There’s the nice little, you know, don’t really have a purpose but fighting and am suicidal thing, which, neat, but it was so rarely really touched upon. Most of the time he just didn’t do much, or say much, anything. 

The second to last episode finally got into his head, and, it was mostly just stuff we already knew, so still not the deep dive I was looking for, but the visual presentation was pretty nuts. 

It was probably my favourite episode just for that tbh. This is Toshimasa Ishii's TV directorial debut, I just learned. Maybe a guy to keep an eye on in the future, at least from this episode alone. It's a pretty well-directed series, in general, tho, I'd say.

Then Lena comes in, and, I've mentioned it before too, but their relationship is just too under-developed, she shouldn’t be as inspiring to him as she is. 

The first ”hint” throughout the show, of romance, was Lena walking in on some couple flirting and imagined doing that with Shin as she was talking on the phone with him, and that's like, alright, 16-year-old girl, fine, she can think that, but we have barely anything from Shin. 

You have to build up romance. They're really trying to present this as if Lena gave him something that his friends couldn't, that she was of special value to him, but we don't get much of that in the actual show. Well, there’s a bit, of her being able to live on which is new, cause he’s the Reaper, but it doesn’t warrant all this, for me. Her boring, redundant lines shouldn't change Shin's entire worldview like that.

The payoff doesn't feel earned when the writing that went into their relationship doesn't warrant it. And then they just shove the romance in our face in the finale too, as they all tease about Shin and Lena (their guardian even says ”boy meets girl”), like come on lol.

Then it’s also that the characters, having been on the battlefield all this time, have it ingrained in them that they want to go back out there and fight, and it's just, kind of... I dunno. It makes sense? Yeah, yeah it does. It's just a bit annoying cause the audience knows they're completely wrong and their guardian is correct, they deserve a normal life, but it gets the plot going at least? They could've really delved into this with them all in a more tragic kind of way, but well. Oh yeah, there’s Frederica.

Yeah…

She’s nine years old. She can drop complex lore on us or tactical strategies, yet can’t pull her hat from covering her eyes.

She’s really annoying, and the narrative finds any excuse it can to force her to the battlefield, where she has her little moment with Kariya (who does nothing but yell btw, give the "antagonist" a bit more meat pls 86). I don’t really like her much. Her voice grates me.

I actually missed Lena this season lol. 

The side characters don’t really get much. You know, the Kurena is still crushing on Shin, Anju is still scaring people, and the spiky-haired guy is, mostly the same, tho there was a nice confrontation with Shin. 

And, I’m gonna address a critique people brought up last time. Yes, of course, there are examples in the real world where oppression started suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere, but no, that doesn’t justify the show’s execution of this. You misunderstood my point.

The world-building in part 1 is just that under-explored. Even in real life when there are sudden turns like that, it’s not really that sudden under the surface. There’s a history of propaganda, events; build-up that lead to that sudden switch. We don’t get anything of that in 86. I mean, I don’t even believe that fiction is automatically a-okay in its exploration of events if the same things happen in real life, but it doesn’t even happen here. The anime literally misses all of that. So, that was my point. Comparing it to reality doesn't do much here.

Anyway, the dialogue is really repetitive, they recycle a lot of thematic points and lines all of the time (they all harass the 86 with the exact same retorts each time, the 86's reasons for still fighting that they keep repeating, the side characters shticks being repetitive who besides that mostly just talk about Shin, every time we delve into Shin we get what we already knew in a slightly different but basically the same way, etc.) And it always has to be so on the nose, like the guy who wants to pay for his sister's education, of course, he loves her so much his entire room is filled with pictures of her, like come on, don’t shove it in my face (or Shin and Lena's romance being teased by the other characters as previously mentioned). They also bring Fido back, after that beautiful farewell in Part 1, which kinda pissed me off. Overall tho, it’s just boring, predictable, uninteresting, unoriginal, etc. It's stuff I've seen before, and here explored as little as possible, and when it does so also does it in such a redundant manner that it's difficult to believe it has the impact it has on the characters. But, a lot of the time when it is all these things, it’s fine. Not outright bad, just fine, and occasionally good. If you asked me if I think the show is any good, I’d say it’s just alright. 

Score:

Original Twitter Thread: https://twitter.com/Tharizdun03/status/1528093097183297536?s=20&t=zrQ61ygZkLcbEWXQzq0K2Q

86 Part 1 Review: https://www.tumblr.com/tharizdun-03/701000254353506304/86-part-1-review?source=share

[wisteria-lodge]

Archetypes: Sorting Hat Chats

I’ve been asked about my rationale for naming different primary/ secondary combinations. I did this originally as a tool to help me sort characters - I wanted to see how these types tend to be used, so I could more easily see what subversions looked like. I'll run through my thoughts, but know there’s a lot of variation within each category. But even WITH that variation, I do think that each one has its own specific energy that makes it interesting to talk about. An explanation of the terms I'm using.

DOUBLE LION “THE REVOLUTIONARY”

Pretty straightforward. The Lion primary knows something is wrong, they know it in their bones even if they can’t articulate it, and they’ve got to go out and do something about it. Probably charging at whatever power structure is directly in front of them. It’s unlikely you find a character leading a revolution who isn’t a Double Lion. These guys are intense, inspirational, single minded.

The villain version of the Lion primary tends to be the person who “went too far" or "became the monster they were trying to fight.'' But I think that the much more interesting Lion primary villain trope is the Traitor. Since Lions work from their feelings, and their philosophies can’t necessarily be articulated or linked to individuals outside of them - they can definitely have their head turned while still feeling moral about it.

One of my favorite examples of this Revolutionary archtype is actually Christian Bale‘s character from Newsies. He’s the spark that starts the unionizing revolution, but 100% needs his Badger and Bird lieutenants to keep him focused and keep him from defecting

LION SNAKE “THE ROBIN HOOD”

These guys are similar to the Double Lion - they will recognize a cause or injustice revolutionary style - but Robin Hood doesn’t go up and bang on wicked Prince John’s door. His move is the snake secondary one: confront the problem indirectly. Undermine the regime by stealing tax money and re-distributing it to the poor. Be simultaneously Robin Hood the outlaw and Robin of Locksley the noble, infiltrating and getting information. The Lion Snake is more likely to work within society (or deliberately separate from society) versus just breaking everything down.

LION BIRD “THE LAWMAN / THE VIGILANTE”

The fact that the Lion Bird can either be the Lawman or the Vigilante shows off the very clear hero/villain split you get with Bird secondaries. We also see this with the Snake Bird (simultaneously the Mastermind and the traditional Villain) and the Double Bird (either the Scientist or the Mad Scientist.) This is why I think I had such trouble naming the Badger Bird. I wasn’t leaning into the duality of the Bird secondary enough. The Badger Bird can be the King Arthur, or he can be the Mob Boss, and he’ll look kind of similar either way.

The Lion Bird also has that Lion primary conviction and drive, but they want to follow up on it with investigation, evidence, and plans. I actually think there need to be more stories about Lawmen turning into Vigilantes and vice versa. Because Lion Birds are their Cause no matter what external alignment gets attached to it.

LION BADGER “THE LINCHPIN”

This is my own sorting - although when I came up with this name I still thought I was a Double Bird. The linchpin is the pin-axle thing at the center of a wheel that prevents the whole thing from falling apart, and I think it's a good way of talking about the energy of this combination. The Badger secondary means they’re a lot less single minded than the other Lion primaries: their power comes from being part of a group. They become the emotional “heart” a lot, and have a way of quietly keeping things together just by existing. They can be leaders, but a Double Lion will lead from up front while a Lion Badger will lead from in the middle (if that makes sense.)

I do think it’s really funny that this is a common sleeper villain trope. Peter Pettigrew, Prince Hans, and Randall Boggs of Monsters Inc. all became integral to a group, and then exploit their position within it. They’re kind of the evil bureaucrat. Maybe that's a good trope for children’s media

DOUBLE SNAKE “THE TRICKSTER”

This is another straightforward one. Double Snakes are in it for themselves (and maybe like three other people.) They're going to be clever and tricksy about how they get what they want, and will not mind doing things backward and unofficially. And they won't mind if you know that's what they're doing. There’s something very unapologetic about the Double Snake which makes for very attractive characters. They are consistently voted the sexiest... and when they’re villains they’re fun villains. You know what they want, and what they want is not that complicated. I think that’s a big reason for the appeal of Snake primaries in general. They’re the easiest primary to understand and explain.

SNAKE LION “THE LANCELOT”

I used to call these guys “The Rebel,” which... is too generic, doesn’t really mean anything. So I started thinking about the Lion secondary as the Knight secondary, and I liked that. Double Lions are the Crusader Knight, riding for their Cause. Bird Lions are Grail Knights, riding for their own personal truth. Badger Lions are Champion Knights, here to help the helpless and defend the innocent.

And if that's that case… Snake Lions have to be the Knight Errant, the knight who rides for his lady. It is that simple. Lancelot might be a Knight of the Round Table, but he’s riding for Arthur the person, not Arthur the King. And for his lady, Queen Guinevere. I feel like his dilemma is one that’s common to a lot of Snake Lions: what happens when they’re forced to split their loyalty? It’s tragic, but Lancelot can’t have Arthur and Guinevere simultaneously.

(At least not until my awesome Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot OT3 which I will totally write at some point :)

SNAKE BIRD “THE MASTERMIND / THE VILLAIN”

The classic. We see a little more of the Bird Secondary split, and well… this is your stereotypical villain. They want power. They’re going to use an elaborate plan to get it. There’s a lot you can do with this sorting, but I actually do think it’s fun that whatever you do, this slight undercurrent of villain and/or mastermind… never quite goes away.

SNAKE BADGER “THE LOVER”

The Love Interest sorting. Chances are very good that if there is a love interest (who does not serve some other role in the story...) they're going to be a Snake Badger. Devoted to one person, solving problems by caretaking. This is the Badger secondary who is likely to have the smallest group, which is just going to make them look excessively devoted to their friends. This type is pretty gender neutral, which is fun. A lot of female love interests, but also your Mr. Darcys and Peeta Mellarks.

One of my favorite things about this trope (mostly just because I think it’s funny...) is that if you write a character who is not supposed to be a love interest, but who is a Snake Badger... subconsciously I think people are going to read them as a love interest anyway. Looking at you Jaskier, Horatio, and even Captain Barbossa.

DOUBLE BIRD “THE [MAD] SCIENTIST”

I think that (especially if you aren’t a Bird Primary yourself) your response to hearing a fictional Bird Primary’s motivation is kind of …huh. That seems random. Or oddly specific. You get your Hannibal Lecters, whose entire motivation is... wanting to eat people while drinking nice wine.

Double birds seem especially unusual, just in terms of society. They are Bird secondaries and they interact with the world through gathering data, but their Bird primaries mean that data can literally lead them to any conclusion, no matter how potentially wacky. These guys consciously build themselves from the ground up, and that can make them kind of detached - either in a logical way, or an unmoored way. They're written as either really stable, the rational mentor figure. Or really... not. And that’s how you spot a Bird villain. They’re not after money/power/safety, they’re after something weird.

BIRD LION “THE GRAIL KNIGHT”

This is the trope of Perceval or Galahad, questing after the Holy Grail chalice... which is really just meaning, and truth. It’s a personal quest. Grail Knights tend to ride alone, and a lot of the things that concern them are metaphysical, to do with identity, purpose, things like that. You can have extremely different Bird Lions, but I do think there is a sort of spiritual core there. Doctor Harleen Quinzel sees freedom and truth in whatever the Joker is doing, and then once she recognizes his hypocrisy, has to go build her own meaning.

I actually think these guys are pretty easy to spot because of that Lion secondary. When they change direction, they change direction, and there’s probably a period of despair between the direction changes. I’ve talked about how Bird Lions having a habit of falling apart pretty dramatically, and that’s where this idea comes from.

BIRD BADGER “THE SURVIVOR”

A rare sorting, but an interesting one. I call this one “the Survivor” or “the Last Man Standing” because, well, they seem to be. They seem remarkably stable. This is the Bird primary least likely to be a villain, and maybe the sorting least likely to be a villain. I think what’s going on is that they are grounded and integrated in whatever community they happen to be in (because of that Badger secondary), but they can define themselves and rebuild themselves in the Bird primary way. This makes them uniquely suited to building a new version of themselves for whatever situation they happen to find themselves in.

Maybe a better name for these guys would be “The Adapter.”

BIRD SNAKE “THE ARTIST”

Like all Bird primaries, these guys are inspired by their own projects and their own worldview, but because of that Snake secondary, Bird Snakes have a more easy-going ‘take the world as it comes' kind of energy. They are “the Artist” because everything they do is art: they want to use themselves and the world around them, put all of that towards whatever their Bird primary happens to be interested in.

You can have villains like the Nolan Joker, or the Talented Mr. Ripley, who kind of turn the world into their own personal philosophical social experiment. Or Scotty from Star Trek whose meaning is solely the well-being of the Enterprise. Maybe they just like traveling, and that's all they need. (It's a way for the Bird primary and the Snake secondary exist very happily together, so I wouldn't be surprised if that was pretty common.)

DOUBLE BADGER “THE PEACEMAKER”

Badgers are interesting, because while I think they’re generally regarded as “correct,” they’re also seen as kind of boring. That’s the case with both Badger primaries and Badger secondaries, which means it is doubly reflected in the Double Badger. They often get written as simplistic, the sweet Jane Bennet type who loves everybody and caretakes everybody and just wants everybody to get along.

They are often the targets of what TV Tropes used to call “Break the Cutie.” What could be more interesting than making this character, who wants to be happily part of a community, be forced to build protective models, be all tortured and angsty? I actually think we’re seeing a return of the Double Badger as an interesting character in their own right, with people like Aziaphale, and I'm here for it.

BADGER LION “THE PROTAGONIST”

What can I say? There are a lot of protagonists that are Badger Lions. They want to help the group - so we know they're the good guys - and then they charge and make stuff happen. Lion secondaries are very useful in fiction - you drop them into a situation and stuff just happens. I also think of this as the Starfleet officer sorting - because if you’re a Starfleet officer, either you are the sorting, or can model it really well.

I will say that this is kind of the stock Protagonist sorting, the way that the Snake Badger is the stock love interest and the Snake Bird is the stock villain. There’s just something sort of generic good guy about this one, which is why I want to see it used as a villain sorting more. Badger villains - mostly people who define ‘human’ very narrowly - are insanely terrifying.

BADGER SNAKE “THE ADVISOR”

Possibly “the Power Behind the Throne.” This is another one I had difficulty pinning down. I called it “the Politician” for a while, which unfortunately came off as a little bit more negative than I meant it to, since I think this sorting has a lot in common with Lion Badger, the linchpin of a heroic team. The difference is that Lion Badger takes on that role kind of unconsciously, while the Badger Snake does it very consciously.

Their loyalty is to the group, but their skill set is all about subversion and different ways of going around the group, which is why there’s an interesting contradiction at the heart of Badger Snake. A lot of real life Badger Snakes struggle with feeling like “bad people" and it's too bad. These guys are ridiculously powerful and competent when they are sure of themselves, and I love seeing them in action

BADGER BIRD “THE KING / THE MOB BOSS”

Another difficult one, despite (or because) I really like them. I was calling them “the Architect” because “The City Planner” sounded too boring… but that’s what they do. They’re all about the community but they problem-solve the way all Bird secondaries do, by prepping, and gathering knowledge. I talked more about this in the Lion Bird entry, but Bird secondary seems to have this villain split going on, and that’s what I see here too. This is a controversial love-them-or-hate-them sorting, and I think that’s why. There’s a lot of room in whether or not you see this sorting as villainous.

[house-of-laminations]

hello!!! i just found your stuff and read through all of it its so good 😭😭😭 and you dont have to but im very curious to hear about your Thoughts™ about simeon and divinity bc it sounds so interesting. also bc in from the outside when simeon "‘It’s what you deserve,’ he thinks to himself, ‘the price for not Falling back when you had the chance.’ " i lost it like i havent stopped thinking about it since i saw it jshsjsksdjdhdh have a good day ❤

So. It's taken me since 29 December 2021 to answer this one, but in my defense!!! Every time I would make an attempt, new info would drop and I'd be forced to re-evaluate and rewrite the massive essay I'd always type in response. Nothing has really changed on that front, except for the fact I was asked twice now about this and that I simply Do Not Care anymore about canon (I never have really, I just pretended to if we're being honest here). I also haven't personally played any of the latest season, but I have been keeping up with the goss through people like the wonderful @demonfamilytherapist who sends me screenshots of spicy parts and posts like the ones second anon has linked.

But I don't want to keep being rude and ignoring these when I have A Lot To Say, so with that in mind... here are my Simeon Thoughts™ under the cut.

Simeon surprised me when I first started playing because I was kind of expecting the angels-are-enemies-of-demons trope. And while that was definitely there in the form of a young, idealistic Luke, Simeon served a different purpose: a connection to the past that remembers the brothers fondly. He often references the 'good old days' with Lucifer, and their 'Brothers no more' chat is filled with familial banter rather than guilt trips or what-could've-been's.

He's also mischievous (he has a propensity to play 'pranks' or hide things if he'll think it'll be interesting), prideful (just look at any of his directorial roles), and surprisingly, very flexible in his worldview and his thinking. Simeon is very willing to learn about the customs and practices of the devildom and the human world, and even make them his own.

But he's also a character of principle. He obviously didn't like the way the brothers were treated and talked about, even before their fall. After they fell, there was a point in which he too became demoted. I'm not sure if we know entirely why that is, but I'm willing to put money on the fact it was probably somehow related to the fallout (heh) of the war. Simeon rebels, in small and large ways, and it's not gone unnoticed. It's also not been enough to outright kick him out, either.

So why is it that when confronted with the choice to either break free from an oppressive environment (at the cost of losing your relationships and your way of life), or stay trapped within a system that doesn't necessarily support or understand you, does Simeon choose the latter?

It comes down to support, and the networks you build around yourself. In the case of the brothers who fell, they all had people they could rely on: each other, and perhaps even more importantly, Lucifer.

Mammon, Levi, Asmo, Beel, and Belphie all had people other than their father that they trusted implicitly, and held to a high regard. More than that, they had an authority figure they looked up to besides their ever-distant Father. Whether or not you see the relationship between Lucifer and his younger brothers as being slightly parental, there's no denying that he definitely had a hand in shaping the younger angels - as a role model, supportive presence, and a disciplinary figure.

Mammon's relationship with Lucifer is an excellent example of this. Here's a neurodivergent atypical angel who struggled with fitting in and doing what he's commanded to. He's punished quite harshly, if not outright ostracized by 'parental'/'authority' figures up until Lucifer comes along and takes a personal interest in him. More than once the game makes mention of the more 'parent/child' way Mammon and Lucifer viewed their relationship - to the point where there's a few jokes and references to Mammon outright calling Lucifer 'dad'. While Lucifer's relationship with the others may not have been as strong as what he has with Mammon, it's obvious that they each see him in a similar way.

When breaking relationships (romantic, familial, or platonic), especially in the context of abuse or mistreatment, it's easier to leave if you know you have something to fall back on. The brothers had Lucifer. Lucifer, well. He's a bit of a special case. His unique position and disposition allowed him an easier break. That, and he relies just as much on his brothers in return. The siblings (if we're including Lilith) forced him to be there, to commit to their emotional wellbeing. They became a responsibility - something for his pride to latch its claws into, as well as an emotional support of their own.

Simeon, however, was around the same age as Lucifer. The same rank, even. He's a bit more distant, like the other Seraph we've seen or heard of besides Lucifer. It could be because they're following the example of their father - a distant presence who seems to very rarely show any kind of emotional investment in the lives of others. Because of this, he never really formed the support networks he needed to allow for that leap of faith, the step towards a fall and to freedom when he realized he didn't quite fit in.

This is a lot of rambling, and it's all leading up to me saying that I think that Simeon was (and is) a very lonely creature who I don't think really wants to be an angel, but doesn't know if he can fully commit to being a demon either. Maybe down the line we'll see him well and truly fall, but I think it would take a lot of deprogramming and undoing millennia worth of conditioning to allow him to fully trust someone enough to allow him to make that leap.

[dangermousie]

Hello !

I was wondering whether you could rate and tell us of your top 5 favourite webnovels/cnovels of all time ?! (Sorry if this has already been answered lol😅)

Thank you, stay safe and have a nice day🖤

Awww, thank you and that is such a lovely ask!!!

From n1 to n5, here they are (they happen to be all danmei.)

1. The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha) - my n1 forever and ever.

Taxian Jun, the horrific cultivation emperor of the world who razed cities and destroyed sects, is surrounded on his mountain. The righteous sects are terrified to confront him but tired of living, Taxian Jun consumes poison and dies by suicide at the age of 32. And opens his eyes as 16 year old Mo Ran, Mo Ran long before he became Taxian Jun, Mo Ran who is excited at a chance to save the one person he loved and lost. Oh, and to deal with his loathed shizun, the unapproachable and strict Chu Wanning, his past life’s biggest enemy.

I have no idea if it’s objectively the best on this list but it hits every trope I love, its bleak worldview (the world will change only incrementally but that’s enough, average person will not appreciate the sacrifice but it’s still worthwhile, and love is worth everything) mirrors mine, and the sheer complexity of the plot and cascade of plot twists each of which is insane and yet completely logical, is amazing (this is a rare novel where it’s even more fun to reread than read for the first time because you keep seeing all the hints and trail crumbs laid out that you did not see the first time.)

And the characters!!! I mean, this novel has multiple universes/timelines, a side trip to the Underworld AND the demon realm, a plot more twisted than a store’s worth of pretzels and yet the thing that hits me the most are the characters. Mo Ran is my favorite web novel character of all time and I love Chu Wanning so. All the secondary characters are wonderfully written (and some of them made me bawl) and they are all complex. My opinion of all of them changed many times over; the novel doesn’t make it easy to love some of them but then you do and it’s so worthwhile! That slow change is one of the delights of the novel - I started out disliking the unpleasant, superior Chu Wanning and cruel, callow Mo Ran and then I loved them so so hard and cried for them so so hard and was in awe of their heroism and sacrifice and selflessness and capacity to love.

Oh, and the fact that this novel does something almost impossible - it has its protagonist start out as so clearly irredeemable and then slowly and painfully and thoroughly redeems him (without ever letting the reader forget what it is he needs redemption for.)

Also, for a novel that made me cry so hard I felt ill, this book is just so damn funny with the most sarcastic sense of humor imaginable (the serious angst doesn’t even kick in until 90+ chapters!)

Anyway I should stop or I will write a dissertation. But this is the one web novel that I would put in my top 5 not just web novels but any novels in any shape or form. The plentiful trigger warnings are there for a reason so stay away if they are an issue, but if not, if anyone hasn’t read it yet, what are you doing with your life?!

2. Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - another novel by the author of 2ha. Clearly she just pushes all my buttons every time. This one is much shorter and has a plot that is twisty but less twisty than 2ha. Still, all that means is that intensity and the pain are more concentrated.

Aristocratic Mo Xi and former slave Gu Mang were both legendary generals of the empire and lovers. But Gu Mang betrayed the country and switched to the enemy. Now he is back as a peace offering by that country and Mo Xi has to deal with the fact that his feelings are as strong as ever.

This novel!!! So much pain and intensity!!! So many amazing plot twists and supporting characters. The same bleak world view, the same unjust society, the same protagonists doing right things despite the cost. Mo Xi’s intensity and inability to let go (he’s imprinted on Gu Mang and that’s it) is romantic, bone-shakingly intense, and tragic all at once. And oh Gu Mang! So many times I just wanted to reach into the book physically to protect him. The novel deals with unjust societies, memory versus personality, what it’s like to be good in a bad universe etc. And it both made me sob and giggle, repeatedly, and sold me on literally death-defying (but not honor-defying!) love.

Oh, and special shout out to the fact that like 2ha, you may start out hating some characters and end up a rabid fangirl (cough Murong Lian!)

3. Qiang Jin Jiu - a dense political tome that takes a while to get going but then it’s a runaway train.

In a fictional dynasty, Shen Zechuan, the only remaining son of a disgraced aristocratic family and Xiao Chiye, the younger son of a family of generals guarding the border join forces (and then something else) to get power and pull down the dysfunctional system.

This is so elegant and smart (a rare web novel I’d recommend to anyone who just loves solid period fiction) and you probably need a notebook to keep track of the politics and military strategy. These characters are very very smart not just because the author says so.

As to the characters, there is a large cast and I love many of them, but for me the novel is made by Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye. SZC is gorgeous and delicate and icy and can kill you before you have time to blink. Saddled with the sins of the family he had no pleasant interaction with, he claws his way out of hell (seeing the sinkhole he was trapped in, literally as well) to take down those who wronged him but also to amass power so all the tragedy and corruption won’t happen again and the whole rotten system comes crashing down. XCY is a military genius who is trapped as a hostage in the capital because the court doesn’t trust his family. He longs to return to the plains of home and to take his rightful place. The two men start out as bitter enemies, then reluctant and sniping allies, then as friends and eventually as one of the most gorgeous, tender, swoony OTPs.

Anyway this is one is a bona fide masterpiece, equal parts smart and emotionally intense.

4. Wu Chang Jie - are you an emotional vampire? I am and this novel is a banquet.

In a highly fantastical setting, we meet our protagonists - the sunny Xie Bian and the intense and surly Fan Wushe. Xie Bian is a human who assists his master in conveying souls to the underworld and making sure no mishaps happen. Bian is concentrated sunshine in human form and to meet him is to love him. When the novel opens, his drunk master brings back another human to be his shidi and assist with duties - said human is uncommunicative, intense and surly Wushe. Bian is excited to have a shidi but little does he know that a story dealing with the horrors of past lifetime is about to start.

Anyway, why WCJ? So many reasons. It has such a dark bleak worldview - this world is a horrifying system where powerful cannibalize each other’s cores for an impossible chance to ascend, where gods have sealed off their realm and all that’s left is neverending human misery and hell (the only way you’d see a deity is if they’d been sent down to suffer over and over and over), where even reincarnation doesn’t fix things and bad acts are often unpunished. And the novel then asks - is it worth being a good person in such a world? More, is it worth being a good person in such a world when nothing good has ever happened to you and you have been repeatedly betrayed due to your goodness? And the answer, on Bian’s part, is an uncompromising yes.

Ah yes, the other reason to love this novel - the protagonists and their fucked up fucked up relationship. Bian (who was Prince Ziheng in the past life) is so genuinely good. But he is that rare thing - good but not saintly, noble but not cloying. So much of the novel is his getting taken apart over and over and barely able to put himself back together every time but his soul is still as amazing as ever.

And then there is Wushe (who was Prince Zixiao in past life, Ziheng’s not-bio-related brother.) Wushe is not a good person. He is a monster. And he loves Bian/Ziheng more than his life and his soul and the entire world but he’s also the one who hurt him more than anyone else ever could and did it over and over. His love survived a literal century of torture in the worst kind of hell and refused the usual memory loss of new life. But it also humiliated and broke Ziheng down to his constituent parts.

One of the things that is so fascinating to me about this novel is the question of what can be forgiven/what should be forgiven/what kind of expiation is enough/can you ever love someone who you loved so much and then he hurt you so badly and is now repentant? And it never sweeps trauma under the rug or hand waves it away but deals with it head on.

If you want healthy relationships, you should stay far away from this novel but if intense insane ones with a feral barely human one capable of destroying the world leashed by love and guilt to the sane deeply good one is your bag, come right in.

There is also the world building and the fact that yes, the big fall out between Ziheng x Zixiao is based on not knowing all the facts but it’s not “why can’t you talk?! This is dumb!” But is totally in keeping with both events and their characters. It’s reasonable for Ziheng to do what he does and for Zixiao to misunderstand and decide Ziheng is now his biggest enemy (but still one he’s fixated on) and for Ziheng to never be able to clarify.

Anyway, once again this is trigger warning central so please heed those, but if they are no issue, this one is wonderful.

5. OK, this is hard and switches between Sha Po Lang, Heaven Official’s Blessing and The Golden Stage depending on my mood. So what the hell, I am gonna write about all of them.

Sha Po Lang - so smart and so much clever world building. There is enough politicking to satisfy a Qiang Jin Jiu fan, it’s steampunk, and our two protagonists - Gu Yun, the empire’s most powerful general, who’s loyal to the empire despite being badly wronged by it, and Chang Geng, a cursed prince with barbarian blood and horrifying childhood - are wonderful separately and together. This is a huge slow burn but it’s totally worth it! They fall in love with each other’s hearts and brains and ability as much as anything. (Yes, this is the one with the yifu thing. Gu Yun is made Chang Geng’s foster father when he rescues him and brings him back to the capital as a way to keep CG safe in imperial strife. They are 12 and 19 at the time so clearly it’s never a parental relationship.)

Heaven Official’s Blessing (TCGF) - I love it’s sprawling narrative and cast, I love its inventive setting and picaresque story. It’s hilarious and can make me cry. But the novel’s place on this list is due to Xie Lian who is part Kenshin part drama WWX part pure goodness wrapped in heartbreak and trauma wrapped in sunshine.

The Golden Stage - two smart and principled (yes, they both have principles different though they may be) men navigate their arranged marriage, their past friendship and their past break up, become a super couple (one of the healthiest danmei couples I’ve ever read and proves healthy doesn’t have to be boring), save the country and bring down the emperor or two and just generally this is my rainy day book.

I guess I didn’t write as much for the three n5 candidates as I did for 1-4 but my brain is beginning to curdle so...

[blockgamepirate]

Technoblade’s purpose in the political narrative of the Dream SMP

I can’t sleep so I decided to finally write the post I’ve been struggling with for literal months, except way more casual because I can’t be bothered anymore and also I’m sleep deprived.

So the thing is: to me the DSMP storyline has always been primarily political, probably because I was introduced to it through Wilbur who was definitely going for political, and also because I’m just generally interested in political narratives right now. Obviously I appreciate the character work and the personal relationship stuff, that’s what makes it more interesting than just dry allegory, but when it comes down to it, this story is about politics to me. So that’s the angle I’m going to approach it from.

Also not to spoil the conclusions here, but I’m an anarchist, that’s my lens.

(Obviously all of this is about rp from here on out unless otherwise specified)

Basically the situation as Techno joins the server is this: L'Manburg exists as an autonomous nation and is de facto independent although not officially recognised by the Dream SMP. The self-appointed president Wilbur Soot decides to hold an election and rig it in order to consolidate his power over the nation he founded and he gets his VP Tommyinnit to join in on the plan. Their scheme fails and they end up voted out instead. The new president, Schlatt, immediately establishes himself as an authoritarian figure and exiles Wilbur and Tommy.

A couple of points on what the election arc demonstrates:

1: the appearance of democracy can be used for distinctly undemocratic purposes.

2: even if the elections aren’t rigged, the electoral system could be massively flawed and end up favouring a party that in fact didn’t have the popular vote

3: even if the winning government (the coalition in this case) has the majority vote, that doesn’t guarantee that they’ll actually act according to the popular will.

4: the supporters of the losing parties basically just have to let the majority overrule their wishes, espcially since apparently L’Manburg doesn’t have an established role for an opposition, yikes. That’s actually a MAJOR oversight in the system but I’m not gonna go into that too much.

5: frankly as an anarchist I am just deeply cynical towards representative democracy, and just because you have a token appearance of choice and consent doesn’t mean that it isn’t a hierarchical and authoritarian system. And to be fair, from my point of view this applies even to so-called liberal democracies and progressive parties. Full disclosure: even if L'Manburg was the ideal example of a representative democracy (which it very much isn’t) I would still be opposed to it because I fundamentally do not believe in top down systems, even electoral ones.

6: despite all these flaws, all the characters seem to implicitly accept the electoral system as legitimate. There’s criticism against the actions of individual characters acting within the system, such as Quackity calling out Wilbur for trying to rig the election, but nobody is questioning the system itself.

So at this point I’m sitting there, watching all this go down, and thinking “man, this would be so much more bearable if there was an anarchist point of view being represented in the story.”

And hey, look who IMMEDIATELY SHOWS UP.

Okay, I’m not gonna lie, early installation Technoblade is not the best representation of anarchism. I was mostly rooting for him out of sheer contrarianism initially. I didn’t really even care if it would be another Killmonger/Magneto/Zaheer situation because I’m used to reading against the authorial intent when it comes to these things. Sometimes any representation is better than no representation, even with political ideologies. That’s not to say that him just straight up spouting this hobbesian notion of a “dog-eat-dog world” didn’t grate on me, obviously it did.

That kind of worldview of humanity needing authority in order to prevent chaos and conflict is literally antithetical to anarchism and is the favourite talking point of authoritarians, the least anarchist people there are. It’s literally what people use to argue AGAINST anarchism. I think it’s mostly because cc!Techno obviously wasn’t particularly educated on anarchist thought and was just basically having fun roleplaying with his friends at this point. Which is frustrating but fair enough I guess.

Cynical ideas about human nature are pretty deeply rooted in the mainstream, unfortunately, most people just consider it common sense. And like I said, it’s a huge talking point in the propaganda against anarchism.

(… even though in fact these arguments were originally used against proponents of representative democracy. Hobbes himself was very much a monarchist, the idea of letting normal people vote for their representatives would have been terrifying to him. Like surely the world would descent into a free-for-all war, all against all. Imagine letting commoners have OPINIONS, the horror.)

So yeah, that stuff was pretty ehhhhh. It was basically what I’d expected though: cc!Techno isn’t an anarchist and we just don’t get accurate representation from non-anarchists, ever. What I dared to hope was that Techno’s character would at least stay consistent about his opposition to ALL governments. I was pretty sure that he would, even though it seemed like the majority of the fandom at the time was convinced that he would switch over to Schlatt’s side or something. It would have been a really shitty twist, I would have ragequit immediately. I mean what would have been the entire point of his character then? He might as well have been a random mercenary. Why even have his character be an anarchist if you were just going to make him work for a government?

(ftr this is kinda my biggest problem with the Hypixel Skyblock revolution event lol, honestly I think that was a worse depiction of anarchism than early DSMP Technoblade. I mean the speech was good, but… still became a government official, tho. booooooooo, cringe)

And yes, I was rooting against L'Manburg, obviously, and I would have even if it had meant having to deal with another badly written anarchist villain character. I never understood why people saw L'Manburg as the good guys, they were nationalist and exclusionary and their whole existence was based on trying to scam people for money.

I mean they were definitely funny, they were great entertainers. I have no problems with people rooting for them because they’re fun to watch; I did that for a bit too. But people were starting to get really into the story and talk about Wilbur and Tommy, the corrupt politicians, and the country that literally excluded people based on nationality as the heroes, unironically, which was wild to me. And when Wilbur started his “villain arc” well: people called it a villain arc, as if he hadn’t been pretty much a bad guy from the beginning, constantly just out for money and power and taking advantage of the people around him and then pretending to be the victim when challenged. I mean yes he got worse, but I wouldn’t call it a villain arc, more like just a mental breakdown arc.

More importantly, to me L'Manburg represented so many things I hate about the status quo in real life, and seeing the fandom mostly unquestioningly accept it as good just pissed me off. Still pisses me off tbh. I mean, to be diplomatic I could say that I understand the emotional attachment and the way L'Manburg was built up mirrors a lot of how real nations are built and how they create a sense of patriotism out of symbols and a sense of honour and loyalty, and it’s actually really fascinating how it even works in a Minecraft roleplay. Says something about the human mind I guess. Doesn’t mean I have to like it though.

Anyway, I just wanted to see literally any kind of opposition to power, even if it had to come from a character that was unquestionably a villain, which I fully assumed Techno would be. Because political narratives so often just leave us out, or at best barely mention us. And even from a narrative point of view, adding an anarchist perspective to a political story just objectively broadens its scope and actually challenges people who are used to only arguing along the lines of conservative or liberal, welfare state or privatization, nationalism or multiculturalism, etc. Even if the original work dealt with it poorly, at least it would give me the excuse to rant about it on Tumblr, which is kinda why I revived my old Minecraft sideblog for this. (That and pig!Techno fanart.)

Also how can you have a story so fundamentally about power without its counterpoint: the rejection of power?

(Yes, Dream SMP as a whole is definitely a narrative about power, it’s a huge theme for Wilbur, Quackity, Dream, Eret and the Badlanders at least, as well as obviously the anarchist characters from the opposite direction.)

So yeah, the build up to November 16th for me was mainly about the anticipation for what Techno would do, how would Techno’s character respond to the seemingly inevitable formation of a new government. THAT was the point of interest for me, that was what I was the most invested in. Would we get an actual anarchist opposition as a new side to the conflict or would they just awkwardly drop that whole angle? Or even have him team up with Schlatt like a complete sellout? There was so much potential but I worried they might just waste it.

And I was right to worry since apparently in the original script Techno wasn’t supposed to do anything, he was just there to help fight Schlatt and witness the explosion along with everyone else.

And WOW that would have been so incredibly boring

Not even just from the political perspective, just talking about the narrative in general terms here: imagine November 16th without Techno’s plot points. Not only would it have been boring for Techno’s character but it would have been equally boring for basically everybody but Wilbur and Philza. An anticlimactic fight followed by a big explosion that pretty much everybody had seen coming already. Yes, the button room scene is dramatic and heartbreaking… for Wilbur and Phil. But nobody else was there to see it. For everybody else, it was just a big explosion. It would have been such a huge disservice to anyone watching the other POVs.

Techno’s intervention gave everyone an ACTUAL climactic fight, it allowed characters other than Wil and Phil to witness some actual drama happening and to participate in it, rather than just waiting around for the explosion, while also foreshadowing the explosion. Even better, it provoked SO MUCH discussion in the fandom AND gave a perfect hook for future conflicts to arise. Wilbur’s end was tragic but it was, at the time, final. L'Manburg would have still suffered a catastrophe but it would have been left with just the same exact antagonist as before: Dream.

And at this point Dream’s core goals had barely changed, just his approach was now different. Yes, that makes a difference for the plot, but it doesn’t really change much in terms of ideological conflict. Especially since there really isn’t that big of an ideological difference between Dream and Tommy, because arguably neither of them are particularly big on ideology in the first place, they just have conflicting goals and use different tactics to achieve those goals (well, the tactics aren’t always even that different *cough Spirit cough*).

Techno’s conflict with Tubbo and especially Quackity (and honestly most of the other characters in general) brings in so much more depth to the story, just by introducing another angle, not to even mention how much it brings to focus questions about power and violence. These are themes that exist in other characters’s storylines too but nowhere in the same way or as central as with Techno.

I’m getting kind of ahead of myself here, though.

The real twist of November 16th was the fact that Techno WASN’T a straight up villain, actually. It was a twist to me anyway, because with all my cynicism I just didn’t see it coming, I didn’t expect him to actually start making reasonable criticisms. I didn’t expect him to drop the hobbesian arguments entirely and start making points that actually sounded like anarchism.

I have to assume that cc!Techno must have seen some of the criticisms of his character and been inspired to adjust because the difference is pretty notable.

(Sidenote: I’m just forever kinda sad that Techno’s “I may seem like the villain here” monologue was cut from the video and most people never heard it.)

And I felt SO validated by the way, because it works so well in the story! Everyone is mostly content with the restoration of a status quo of some sort, Schlatt is gone, this is supposed to be the good ending, and then Techno calls them all out and turns the narrative around completely: This was just a coup d'état. This was just the previous political leadership retaking power by force. Why is everyone celebrating the same exact system that lead to Schlatt’s authoritarian rule in the first place?

What he does there is force the audience to question the narrative they’ve been presented so far, that they’ve accepted without a thought. It might not convince them, but they can’t just ignore it either.

Whatever you wanna say about the discourse around Techno on that day, in the ideological narrative THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART. Not who betrayed who or when is political violence justified, that’s about personal relationships and morality and it’s mostly all more relevant to the aftermath than the event itself. In my opinion, the REAL point in the moment is that the characters and the audience were comfortable with the ending only to be presented with a completely new perspective on the events.

It also recontextualises the finale, including Wilbur’s actions! It’s a much more ambiguous end to the Pogtopia vs Manburg arc and to Wilbur’s original run as the head writer. Wilbur’s “even with Tubbo in charge I don’t think [that ‘special place’] can exist again” is vague enough to be dismissed as just part of his paranoia and internal conflict, but with Techno, there’s a concrete question: what if Tubbo, given the same powers as Schlatt, will turn out to be just a new Schlatt? And suddenly you have to wonder what Wilbur meant by his words too. And was all this foreshadowing something about L’Manburg’s future?

Okay I’ve only made it to November 16th and there’s so much more DSMP to talk about but the post is getting too long and I’m starting to lose my energy. Will I ever make a part two? No idea. But I’ll try.

Standard disclaimer: I’m not the spokesperson of anarchism, other anarchists might disagree with my reading