#you know i gotta start the year with cozy gay people

[eyezpike]

ive hidden in a hole and obsessively watched the entirety of community in a week and now im crawling out bearing gay gifts. enjoy

[themidnightcrimson]

skirt ࿏ wm

summary: in which wanda gets a little too handsy during a small party.

words: 4.5k

warnings: top!wanda, fingering (r receiving), semi-public sex, severely gay ogling, reader being a fuckin simp

this fic is for 18+ only. minors dni.

masterlist.

Steve had unfortunately complained to Tony that the parties he always held in his huge, modern, techno mansion were not intimate enough. Tony, always ready to take complaints from Steve with a cheeky attitude, passed the message along to Pepper who decided to truly make something cozier for everyone.

Tony’s parties were pretty much bi-weekly at this point, every other Friday night. The team almost always showed up in entirety, and the regularity of it was becoming sentimental to some of you. Even Tony was starting to plan them: “You guys gotta try this whiskey. I’ll bring it next Friday” or “I swear, Cap, I’m gonna put you in a suit on Friday and shoot you up to Mars.” It was cute.

Tonight, instead of drinking and playing poker around Tony’s in-house bar room, Pepper had set up something beautiful outside. You’d arrived at the party with Nat, stepping through the back patio of Tony’ mansion and seeing something set up in his backyard. Tied between two trees was a large white screen, and several yards in front of it was a projector mounted onto the roof of the patio, pointed right towards the screen.

In front of the screen, on the lush, freshly-trimmed grass yard, was a whole bunch of pillowy chairs with blankets cast over them, set up like little cots. To the side of the arena was a little hot dog stand that also had a big red and golden popcorn machine currently popping popcorn attached to its hip, as well as a large futuristic-looking cooler full of ice and bottled drinks. There was even an attachment on the front of the hot dog stand with an array of candy bars.

Strung above the entire arena were strings of fairy lights going in every direction, tied between trees and the railing of the patio porch. The sun hadn’t quite set yet, but they were already turned on, providing cute little lights above the cozy scene. It was the homiest thing you’d ever seen at Tony’s home.

“My god,” Nat remarked as she looked around, looking as shocked as you. “It looks like Tony’s planning on proposing to all of us at the same time tonight.”

“I would say yes,” Banner said, coming up beside you and gawking up at the lights. He ran down the steps of the patio and towards one of the fluffy chairs made of pillow, throwing himself down on it and squishing it to the ground. You could hear his sigh of comfort from the patio.

“Do you guys like it?” Pepper asked, coming out of the house. “There’s more food and snacks inside if you guys want anything that’s not out there.”

“I feel like I’m experiencing my first American sleepover,” Nat said, turning to Pepper. “It’s great, really!”

It was cute seeing Nat get so excited like that. Steve showed up behind Pepper and had the same reaction as everyone else, even tearing up a little bit. When Tony reluctantly entered the patio, Steve gave him a slap on the shoulder. “This is really great, Tony. Really great.”

Tony tightly smiled and quickly went back into the house to avoid any more sentiment.

Since the few of you were the first to arrive, you all stayed on the porch and made conversation while waiting for everyone else to show up. It was a chilly spring night, the wind picking up and every once in a while catching the black skirt you were wearing. It was that annoying time of year, of course, where you would have been sweating during the day but now you were shivering at night. You wished you had worn pants instead of a skirt. You didn’t know you’d be thanking yourself later for the opposite.

You had been discreetly waiting for someone the entire time. As more people lingered through the back door into the backyard, you nervously glanced at each figure and hoped it’d be the one you wanted it to be, but it never was.

And then you knew. You didn’t see her, or hear her name, or any other evidence that she was there other than the fact that the pit in your stomach grew and there was a tingling sensation across your nerve endings. The witch always had that affect on you. You didn’t know if it was a spell or something, or maybe you were just acting like a crush-stricken schoolgirl, but you had a habit of always knowing when Wanda entered a room.

Surely enough, through the tinted windows lining the back porch, you could see a flash of red hair making its way towards the back door, that smile you had memorized greeting people as she stepped between them. A shiver crawled its way up your lower spine as the door opened and that face stepped through, the one you’ve been dreaming about, the one that haunts you, the one that twists your stomach into knots when you see it because it makes you think of all the times you’ve touched yourself with that face in mind.

Wanda stepped onto the porch, her hair in wavy locks down her shoulders. She was wearing a soft, light pink sweater that probably looked like off-white to everyone else in the dusk light, but you paid enough attention to know it was pink. It matched the gentle pink in her cheeks, and in her lips…

You and Wanda’s…”situation” was only just blossoming. After months and months of tense friendship and subtle flirting, you’d finally broken the ice when you’d shared a drunken makeout session at one of the parties. You found Wanda to be much bolder than you’d expected her to be, but it invigorated you so. She knew how to keep you on the edge but give you enough to keep you satisfied. She hadn’t fucked you yet, though she’s gotten close. You’ve felt her mouth, and her thigh, but she hadn’t touched you with her hands yet. Her hands.

It was embarrassing when Nat had to snap you out of it. You’d been staring at Wanda since she’d entered the backyard space and got caught up in a conversation with someone else on her way to greet you. You weren’t even sure if she’d seen you yet, but with how sly the witch was, you were sure she was fully aware of everything.

“Hey, you’ve got a little drool there,” Nat said, motioning to her own chin while looking at yours. You blushed and rolled your eyes, taking a deep breath and turning your back on Wanda. Even though she still hadn’t looked at you, you swore you could feel her eyes burning into your back.

“Shut up,” you whispered, crossing your arms and shivering slightly in the cold.

Like clockwork, you suddenly felt a warm arm wrap itself around your shoulders. God, you even recognized her touch now.

Looking up, you saw Wanda appear beside you, her arm slung over your shoulder and pulling you into her gently. You felt the softness of her sweater and her hair against your arm as you were overcome with her cologne. It was sweet but deep, and it made you melt every time you smelled it because it reminded you of all your moments with her.

Wanda smiled down at you, and you half-expected her to lean down for a kiss, but she didn’t. You weren’t public yet, though Nat knew the extent of it, and everyone else had just assumed. They all thought that if you weren’t fucking, it was at least obvious that Wanda wanted to, and no one would dare get in the way of that. This was all without your knowledge, of course, because you were innocent and naïve and thought that no one had any clue about it except for Nat. That was one thing that Wanda liked about you.

“Hey there,” Wanda smoothly said in almost a whisper. Every time you get close to her for the first time, you feel like you’re seeing her for the first time all over again. Her sparkling green eyes, soft lips turned in a self-assured smile, structured cheekbones, her cute little nose. It all made you swoon like a schoolgirl.

“Hi,” you squeaked, feeling your face get hot all over.

Wanda gave a breathy chuckle, obviously picking up on your little squeak. She gave a little space between you for a moment to let her eyes rake down over your figure. They landed at your hips, and her smile faded, turning almost crooked for a moment before she licked her lips and pursed them. “Hmmmm,” she hummed, pulling you into her again, a little tighter now. “You look so fucking good,” she hissed, leaning down towards your ear. You felt her breath fan against your ear, and then her lips grazed it, before she turned away, stiffening as if trying to hold something in. You watched her jaw flex, the muscles straining in her swan neck as she inhaled deeply.

You weren’t sure what exactly was going through the witch’s mind, but your body was burning all over. It almost pained you how you always had such a physical reaction to Wanda.

Wanda did not let go of you. Even as she lingered around the patio, even as people came up and made conversation, she kept you under her arm like her own pet bunny. You felt safe like that, tucked into Wanda, letting her lead the conversations while you just leaned against her soft sweater and inhaled her sweet perfume. The duality of Wanda’s gentle physique but domineering nature made your head dizzy.

Wanda was like a bee to honey to you for the entire time that you and everyone else waited for the party’s population to be dense enough to start a movie on the large projector screen. Finally, once the sun had set and only left an orange streak at the bottom of the sky, Tony came back out onto the patio and, fully equipped in his suit, stuck his hands out to the side and levitated up towards the projector. Halting mid-air, the face of the suit flipped away to reveal Tony’s face.

“Greetings and welcome to the lamest party Tony Stark has ever thrown,” Tony announced, earning several laughs throughout the small crowd of people before flipping the projector on and flying away.

Light illuminated onto the screen, and an old black-and-white Hollywood movie began playing on the screen. People made their way over to the little cots set out on the lawn, while some stayed on the patio pretending to be the adult part of the crowd.

“Want some snacks?” Wanda whispered in your ear, to which you gave a dumb nod, too focused on the way her hand slid down to your waist and gripped it.

Wanda led you over the little hot dog stand that shone like a beacon in the darkening lawn, apart from the light from the movie. You were about to tell Wanda that you wanted popcorn and Skittles, but she somehow beat you to it. “A bag of popcorn and some Skittles,” she told the guy behind the stand. Nodding, he began to load up a bag of buttery popcorn as you looked up at Wanda in confusion to how she knew what you wanted.

Mind-reading can be useful in many ways, kitten.

You thought Wanda had spoken, since you had heard her voice, but her lips didn’t even move and her voice sounded like it was behind you. Your eyes widened in realization that Wanda was using mind-reading on you for the first time—though it actually was about the hundredth time that she’d pried in on your cerebral. It was the telepathic communication that was happening for the first time, but she thought your confusion on the terms was cute.

“Thanks,” Wanda told the guy as he handed you the warm bag of popcorn. She took a bag of Skittles and two bottles of soda and placed her hand on your lower back, her warm palm ushering you towards a cot in front of the screen.

She decided to choose one a little off to the side, spaced out more from any others. It was a double, basically a large pillow in the shape of a chair that could hold two people.

“This is so fun!” you exclaimed, hopping down on the cot and sighing at how soft it was, understanding now why Banner was so relaxed when he had jumped onto one. There was even a little basket beside the chair that held a large, fluffy blanket folded up. Pepper had truly gone all out.

Wanda plopped down beside you, her warm body instantly melting into yours as her weight into the pillowy chair dipped you down closer to her. The redistribution of weight had moved you in a way that your skirt hiked up your legs.

Wanda’s eyes flickered to your skirt, her pupils swarming. You blushed and pulled your skirt down to cover yourself, discreetly watching Wanda blink and force herself to look away. She leaned back in the chair, snaking her arm behind you and curling it around your waist, which only deepened the blush on your cheeks.

Reaching towards your lap, Wanda took a piece of popcorn from the bag you held between your legs and popped it into her mouth. You took a piece and moved it towards your mouth, but suddenly her hand stopped you.

“Nuh uh,” she said quietly, taking the popcorn from between your fingers. “Let me do it.”

You froze, staring at her face that was so close. It was illuminated by the projection on the screen, her green eyes darker than usual.

“Open your mouth,” she whispered, her eyes flickering down to your lips. There was a hunger in her eyes as she watched you hesitate before slowly opening your lips, your heart beating twice faster in your chest. Wanda brought the popcorn to your mouth, letting your tongue take it. You were surprised when, as you felt the texture of the popcorn on your tongue and the butter flooded your taste buds, the tips of Wanda’s fingers lingered in your mouth. As you attempted to close your lips, they only closed around her fingers, tasting the extra salt left behind on them. Your face grew red and hot as you watched Wanda smirk, pushing her fingers in just a miniscule bit further, her own lips parting in infatuation as she watched your lips suction around her fingers.

“Good girl,” she whispered, slowly dragging her fingers out of your mouth.

As if nothing happened, as if you weren’t sitting there blushing and sweating and feeling the space between your legs get warm, she went back to simply eating the popcorn and staring up at the screen.

Clearing your throat, you forced yourself to stop staring at this blasted woman who just teased you so easily and tried to focus on the movie.

Wanda’s handsy-ness wasn’t too extreme during the first half of the movie. It was only her arm around your waist, her hand rubbing your back sensually, her fingers softly combing through your hair and pulling on it hard once or twice just to get a squeak out of you, to which she pressed a discreet kiss to your neck. It was like she was just playing with you. It was like she was just playing with her food.

It wasn’t until halfway through the movie, when there was no sight of any sunlight in the dark night sky, that Wanda strengthened her moves on you.

Under the pretty fairy lights, as everyone else started to calm down and really settle into the movie, a chilly night breeze sewed itself through the air. It flittered over your exposed legs, causing you to shiver. Wanda, who’d been trying not to ogle your thighs all night, couldn’t help but see the goosebumps on your tender skin.

“You cold?” she asked in a soft, sweet tone. When you nodded, she reached over to the basket and brought out the large, thick blanket, draping it over the both of your laps. The warm, soft blanket was such a relief to your cold legs, and with Wanda’s body also available to you as a heater, you felt so cozy and safe.

Then Wanda’s hand reached under the blanket and rested on your thigh, her palm curving around it. The action made you stiffen, your skin growing exponentially warmer where her hand touched. The intimacy of the action sent shimmers through you, and you tried to beat back the little smile on your face.

Wanda, on the other hand, was trying not to smirk. She was more purposeful than you gave her credit for, but again, your naivety was what fueled her to see just how much she could get away with.

You were trying your hardest to ignore her hand on your thigh until it suddenly shifted upwards, pushing your skirt up with it. You gasped quietly. Her hand was all the way up your thigh now, gripping your flesh firmly. Her fingers were wrapped into the inner most tender part of your thigh, pressing into the soft skin there.

The heat between your legs amplified with how close Wanda was to it. You couldn’t help but nervously glance around, afraid that somehow someone had seen her hand grab your thigh under the thick blankets. Luckily, no one was looking. The closest person to you was Nat, but she was watching the film with her head tilted and arms crossed, obviously trying to analyze it like she did with most films.

“Wanda,” you whispered, glancing up at her to see that she was already staring at you darkly.

“What, princess?” she asked innocently.

The name struck you like a bullet of white hot fire in the pit of your stomach. She watched you seriously, a smirk twitching the corners of her lips, as she tightened her grip on your thigh. It stung a little, her fingertips digging so hard into that sensitive inner flesh of your thigh, that you almost squeaked.

“If you want to make noises for me, then do it, babygirl,” she lilted, and you almost gasped when her hand slipped fully under your skirt. You squirmed a little, but she looked at you threateningly. “Don’t move.”

Your breathing grew heavy as you looked around again, feeling that for sure someone was looking this time. No one was.

No one will see, detka.

Wanda’s voice was in your head again. You sharply turned to look at her, but she was staring at the screen now.

Suddenly, you felt something under the covers spreading your thighs open. You hadn’t even realized you’d been squeezing them together, but as you looked down at the blanket, you saw a hint of red glaring through it as your legs spread themselves wide open. She was using magic to open you up for her. Out of impulse, you tried to slam them shut, but her magic held you there, the red glare dissipating so as to not draw attention to what was happening beneath the blanket.

Be still.

You bit your lip as you felt Wanda’s hand cup you under your skirt, her palm pressing into your fabric-covered core. Your breath quivered out of both nervousness and pleasure when she found your clit through your panties and slowly rubbed it.

I can feel how wet you are through your panties, princess. Her voice was even husky in your head.

You tried to keep still as Wanda rubbed your sensitive nub, looking around again to see that still no one was looking at you. But the fact that anyone could look over at the wrong moment, see part of Wanda’s arm stretched towards your lap under the blanket, seeing shapes inappropriately moving under the fabric, instilled a sense of fear into you that seemed to propel your desire.

Good girl, just keep being still for me. I know how bad you’ve been wanting this. You’ve dreamed so much of my fingers.

God, how did she know? Had she been spying on you?

Her fingers dipped down your fabric-covered slit, tickling there for a moment and feeling the wet spot forming on your panties. You were soaking by now, you could feel it, and it only got worse when Wanda started to push your panties to the side.

You started to open your mouth to tell her no, that she shouldn’t do that in front of everyone at a party, that anyone could look over and see and that it’d be so embarrassing, but her voice was quick to reprimand you.

So what if someone sees? I’ll let anyone know that you’re all mine.

With that, her fingers successfully slipped under the thin, stretchy fabric of your panties and met your soaking cunt. You heard Wanda let out a tense breath as she seeped her fingers through your sopping folds, her jaw flexing again.

You’re so fucking wet, babygirl. Her voice growled within your head, dizzying you.

You glanced around nervously, almost thinking someone was looking at you, but finding that no one was still. You felt so nervous about it, so paranoid, but your feverishness was mostly just from Wanda’s fingers rubbing your bare clit now, moving your wetness all around.

I’ve been wanting to feel your pretty cunt for so long. You just had to wear this slutty little skirt tonight, hmm?

Heat burned throughout you as Wanda’s fingers moved towards your entrance, circling it. You stiffened a little, not knowing exactly what to expect from her. You had to force yourself to not gyrate against her hand, to not turn to her and beg for her to just do it, to not moan out loud. It was especially hard not to do the last thing when Wanda’s fingers thrusted inside you.

“Oh—” you started, until Wanda’s magic snapped your mouth shut. Wanda went completely still, freezing completely. You took a blushing, nervous glance around and nearly died when your eyes made contact with Nat’s eyes.

You froze like a deer in headlights. Nat was staring at you while Wanda’s fingers were inside you for the first time. You were looking her in the eye while your walls clenched around Wanda. You wanted to set yourself on fire.

Fortunately, Nat only gave a casual little head nod and a smile and then turned back to the movie. You knew Nat well enough to know that she wasn’t just pretending that she didn’t see anything. Luckily for you, she really had not noticed anything unusual other than your usual awkwardness around Wanda.

Close call, princess. You almost got found out for being a slut for me.

Taking a shaky breath, your hand crawled around until it found Wanda’s knee under the blanket and gripped it for dear life as she started thrusting her fingers inside you. You tried not to whine at the stretch—it’d been a while for you.

You’re so fucking tight, baby. Wanda’s voice was breathy in your head.

You threw your head back a little as Wanda’s fingers pumped in and out of you, and you could even hear the faint wet sounds coming from under the blanket. It made you feel so dirty, getting fingered like that in front of everyone, and being so wet for it, too.

I knew you were such a slut for me. What if I rip the blanket off right now, hmm? Expose you for spreading your legs for me even in public like a whore?

Gritting your teeth together, you felt Wanda’s two fingers hitting a sweet spot inside you. It was so hard to not buck your hips, to not squirm or moan or do anything but etch claw marks into Wanda’s knee.

And then you felt a more noticeable stretch. Squeezing your eyes shut, you felt Wanda force a third finger into you. This time you couldn’t help it. You threw your head to the side and buried it in Wanda’s chest, letting out a mix between a quiet moan and a sigh that luckily was muffled by Wanda’s sweater. Keeping as still as possible, you inhaled Wanda’s perfume and scratched the fuck out of her knee as she pumped three fingers inside your cunt at an agonizingly slow speed. You knew she would’ve fucked you a lot harder if it weren’t for the sake of being discreet.

“Wanda,” you murmured into her chest, feeling the valley of her breasts from beneath her sweater cushioning your face. “Wanda, I’m close.”

Her fingers were hitting so deep inside you. They were so long, and she was curling them, and she was hitting your sweet spot deep inside, and you could feel your juices dripping down yourself.

Hold it. She commanded.

You didn’t even realize it, but you clamped your teeth around a chunk of her sweater, biting down hard on the thick cable-knit fabric as the woman’s fingers plundered you at a steady pace. You didn’t even know if anyone was looking at you now, and you didn’t even care because your body was starting to tremble as you struggled to not cum all over her fingers.

Finally, when you begged again, she acquiesced with Cum for me, princess.

It took all of your power to not moan out loud as you orgasmed with Wanda’s fingers lodged deep inside you, your walls spasming around them and your hips trembling. She nuzzled her nose against the top of your head and hissed when you bit down on her sweater again and accidentally bit into her breast. She held you still with her spare arm, her fingers deep in you, as you came down from the blinding high.

“That’s it,” she whispered into your hair. “Good girl, just breathe.” You were breathing very hard to make up for not being able to moan. “You were such a good, quiet girl for me, angel.” The praise landed over you like soft kisses until you realized she was also pressing soft kisses to the top of your head.

It didn’t help that, when you had finally calmed down and Wanda pulled her shiny fingers out of you, she popped them into her mouth and sucked off all of your cum. You blushed and dug your face into her chest again, this time purposefully biting her breast which made her hiss again and then giggle evilly.

Luckily, no one had seen you get fingered by Wanda, at least not to your knowledge. Nothing had ever come out of it, at least, except that Tony spread a rumor that you had peed yourself during the party because when you stood up from the chair at the end of the night, there was a wet spot right under where you had been sitting.

[does-this-look-logicality-to-you]

Valentine’s Day

words: 2868 universe: human au characters: virgil, roman, patton; mentions of remus, logan, janus pairings: romantic prinxiety, platonic moxiety, platonic DLAMPR, implied background romantic logicality warnings: none i can think of, just fluff on fluff on fluff a/n: happy late valentines day, everyone! i wanted to have this done on actual valentine’s day but executive dysfunction said no thank you. this fic is dedicated to my amazing girlfriend @katlikethesword. i still can’t believe how lucky i am to be your datemate, and i love you with all my heart. this is my first time writing a prinxiety fic this long, so i hope you like it <3

Virgil had never liked Valentine’s Day. As he often said, it was just another commercial holiday created for big corporations to take advantage of people’s relationships in order to make even more money. It was the same with holidays like Christmas and Halloween, but Valentine’s Day had always stood out to him as the worst of them all. He sometimes wondered if, deep down, he disliked this day in particular because he’d never had someone to spend it with.

That is, he didn’t, until he met Roman.

Virgil never would have guessed he’d fall for someone like Roman. The two had met through the internet, after joining a small Discord server for those who shared an interest in Steven Universe. The two held a sort of rivalry between them at first, arguing almost constantly to the point where the others would grow nervous when they noticed both of them online at once. They didn’t dislike one another, per se, but the fact that their opinions clashed a majority of the time led to conflict more often than not.

After some time— and convincing by the others— the two of them begrudgingly started to get along. Their arguments went from heated debates to playful bouts of banter. Virgil found himself growing fond of his eccentric friend, and began to see him as less annoying and self-absorbed. He instead grew to appreciate his sense of humor, and his eagerness to stand up for his beliefs, and his unrelenting loyalty to those he cared about.

Over time, Virgil’s feelings blossomed into something more than just platonic and he felt himself falling. It had terrified him at first— after all, he’d never had feelings like this toward anyone before. He finally came to terms with it after one fateful night, when a voice call lasted so long that the two of them had ended up falling asleep. After that, there was no turning back. After what felt like forever— in reality, a week— he finally opened up about his feelings, and somehow, by some miracle, Roman reciprocated them.

As a result, the two of them were now in a romantic relationship together. Virgil felt himself fall more and more in love every day. It was the simple things that made him special. Roman often sent him messages containing words of adoration and devotion, and he tagged his boyfriend in Tumblr posts that reminded him of their relationship, or of Virgil in general. Virgil had been hesitant to admit that he was in love with Roman, but he did so eventually. He couldn’t imagine loving anyone else.

Not everything was this easy, though. Roman lived thousands of miles away, too far to come and visit unless he was travelling with his family, which was unlikely considering how unappealing his home state was as a vacation spot and how unlikely it was for his parents to plan a trip there. All they could do was pine hopelessly as they waited until they could finally see one another. It wasn’t uncommon for Virgil to lose himself in daydreams of the day they could finally see each other, when they could finally hold each other, when they could finally be together. Roman sometimes joked that he’d expect the pining to die down when they got together, only for it to double once they actually did, and Virgil couldn’t help but agree. It was hard being so far from the person he cared about. All he wanted was to see his love, to be by his side, to be in his arms, even if only for a little while. Was that really too much to ask?

__

When he woke up on February 14, the first thing Virgil did was grab his phone and open Discord to message Roman. When he did, he’d been expecting his boyfriend to have sent him something, anything, but there was nothing. Maybe he’s not awake yet. He hoped that was it. gerard-gay: hey. happy valentine’s day. i miss you. After he sent it, Virgil lay back down, pulling the covers over himself and closing his eyes again. He stayed like that for a few minutes before stumbling out of bed and changing out of his pajamas. He wasted little time in changing into a purple t-shirt, his favorite hoodie, and a pair of dark gray sweatpants. With that done, he headed into the bathroom. He splashed water on his face, then dried it before taking out his makeup kit. He decided to go for a simple look today, complete with the black eyeshadow on his lower lid that he often wore. Satisfied, he left the bathroom and headed into the kitchen.

The first thing he noticed was that his parents weren’t sitting on the couch like they usually were. Panic surged through him as his eyes flitted around the room, looking for some kind of clue. His gaze fell on a bright pink sticky note on the counter. He came over to it and read it. We had to go pick something up. We’ll be home around 1pm. Love you! ~Mom and Dad Virgil sighed in relief. They hadn’t abandoned him after all. They could have told me beforehand, though. He glanced at the clock on the microwave. 8:49. Damnit, I got up too early. At least he had the house to himself for a while.

He made himself a cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal, got out his daily pills, and headed into the living room and set everything on the coffee table. He sat on the couch and turned on the TV, switching it to Netflix and putting on The Office. It wasn’t his favorite show, but it was better than eating in silence. As he ate his cereal, Virgil checked his notifications again. Nothing. He can’t still be asleep, can he? Even on the weekends, Roman was usually awake at around this time. He wasn’t ignoring him, was he?

Virgil soon finished his breakfast and grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch, swaddling it around himself. He stayed there for a while, occasionally having to venture out of his cozy cocoon to ensure Netflix that he was, in fact, still watching. As he watched, he kept an eye on his phone for any indication that Roman was alive and hadn’t grown bored of him.

Soon, he felt his phone buzz, and he nearly dropped it as he opened Discord to check the notification. To his disappointment, it wasn’t from Roman. It was instead from Patton, one of their mutual friends. happypappypatton: Happy palentine’s day!

Virgil couldn’t help but chuckle. gerard-gay: happy palentine’s day pat

happypappypatton: How’s your day so far?

gerard-gay: could be better

happypappypatton: Oh no! Why? Did something happen?

gerard-gay: nothing happened gerard-gay: just kinda worried about roman

happypappypatton: Is he okay?

gerard-gay: idk gerard-gay: i messaged him earlier but he didn’t respond

happypappypatton: Oh no, I’m so sorry!

gerard-gay: it’s okay gerard-gay: at least my parents aren’t home gerard-gay: so i get the house to myself😎

happypappypatton: Can I call you and keep you company?

gerard-gay: nah that’s okay gerard-gay: i don’t wanna take time out of your day

happypappypatton: You’re not happypappypatton: Nobody should be alone on Valentine’s day happypappypatton: Pleeeeease??? I want to talk to you!

gerard-gay: okay

happypappypatton: Yay!!

Virgil laughed to himself as he clicked the phone icon. It didn’t even finish ringing once before Patton picked up.

“Hi Vee!”

“Hey, Pat.”

“How’ve you been?”

“In the ten seconds since you last talked to me?” He laughed. “Exactly the same.”

Patton giggled. “Good point.”

“What about you?”

“I’m doing great! You know I love Valentine’s day.”

“I know you do. You and your roommate are having that Palentine’s party this year, right?”

“Yup!”

“I wish I could come,” Virgil half-joked.

“I know, I wish you could too. Just hang in there, we’ve only got a year and a half ‘till you graduate.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m counting the days.”

“Me too,” Patton agreed with a soft laugh. “Has Roman gotten back to you yet?”

“Nope.”

“That’s really weird. I would have thought he’d have sent you a page-long message about how much he loves you and misses you.”

“I know, I thought so too.” He sighed. “Do you think he’s sick of me?”

“No, absolutely not. You know how much Roman cares about you. Besides, even if he didn’t, he wouldn’t just ignore your messages.”

“Yeah, I guess. It would be pretty out of character for him to just ghost me.”

“Ghost you? But it’s not Halloween, it’s Valentine’s Day!”

Virgil groaned. “You couldn’t not make a dad joke, huh?”

“Sorry,” he giggled. “But you gotta admit, that was kinda funny.”

“Meh. It wasn’t your worst work.”

Patton laughed.

“Anyway.”

“Yeah, anyway…”

The two of them were quiet for a moment. “What about the others?” asked Virgil. “Have you talked to ‘em today?”

“Mhm! I DMed everyone earlier. I’m actually talking to ‘em right now.”

“Oh, cool. Are you…” he hesitated before finishing, “talking to Roman?”

“No, he’s the only one who hasn’t said anything. So on the off-chance he’s actually ignoring you, he’s ignoring me too.”

“Has anyone else said anything?”

“Nope. It’s weird, I asked them if they’d talked to him today after you told me he hadn’t been responding, and they all said no.”

“Even Remus?”

“Uh-huh. Apparently he hasn’t even seen him today.”

Virgil started bouncing his leg anxiously. “Okay, now I’m getting kinda scared. Do you think something happened to him?”

“I dunno. Maybe? But Remus would’ve said something about it, right?”

“Yeah, I’d think so.”

“Let’s change the subject,” Patton suggested. “I don’t wanna make you more anxious about this than you already are.”

“Thanks, Pat. How are the others? What are they up to?”

“They’re doing pretty good! Remus is working on a writing project, Janus is playing Stardew Valley, and Logan’s procrastinating on his schoolwork by scrolling Tumblr. Don’t worry, I already scolded him for it.”

Virgil laughed, the mention of Logan reminding him of something. “Ooh, speaking of Logan, are you gonna tell him today?”

“No, not today.”

Virgil was genuinely shocked. “Really? Why not?”

“C’mon, you know him. He sees Valentine’s Day as an excuse for big companies to make a boatload of money.”

“So? I think that too. What does that have to do with you not telling him?”

“It wouldn’t mean anything to tell him today. I don’t even know if I’m ready to tell him yet or not. Besides, he’s got a lot on his plate today, Valentine’s day or not.”

“I get that. Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so pushy. You tell him when you know you’re ready.”

“Thanks, Vee. You didn’t sound pushy, though. I definitely know how frustrating it can be when your friend’s been pining after someone for months on end but they still refuse to do anything about it.“

Virgil laughed. “Okay, okay, I get it. I’ll stop complaining.”

“I’m not saying you have to. I did my fair share of complaining when y—” Patton stopped abruptly, and Virgil heard a faint voice coming from the other end. “Okay, just gimme a second,” Patton called out, clearly talking to someone else. “I’m so sorry, Vee, I gotta go. Emile promised a couple friends we’d meet them for lunch today and it completely slipped my mind.”

“That’s okay,” Virgil reassured him. “You go have fun, Pat. I’ll be fine by myself.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. If I get really lonely I can always talk to the others.”

“Okay. Tell me if Roman gets back to you, ‘kay?”

“I will. I’ll talk to ya later.”

“Bye! Love you!”

“Love you too.” Virgil hung up the phone and got up, grabbing his dirty dishes and taking them into the kitchen to wash them. Once he finished, he glanced over at the clock, which read 10:37. Only about two and a half hours until Mom and Dad get home, he thought as he put the dishes away. He left the kitchen, checking his phone again as he headed toward his bedroom. Once again, Roman still hadn’t said anything. He’s definitely awake by now. Had he been right? Had something happened to him? He forced the thought away. He couldn’t let that bother him. Why was it so important, anyway? Today was just another day.

He reached his room and sat down at his desk, turning on his laptop and putting on his headphones. He then opened Spotify and put on the playlist he’d made for Roman the day after they’d gotten together, before switching over to Tumblr and scrolling through his dashboard. He could probably do the exact same thing in the living room, but he preferred the cozier, more familiar atmosphere of his bedroom. Peanut, his cat, climbed up onto his lap and curled up into a ball. Virgil smiled to himself and reached one hand down to scratch him behind the ear. Peanut purred, and Virgil’s smile widened.

He stayed there for a few hours, seeing what everyone on Tumblr was up to today. Every so often, he switched to Discord to see if Roman had replied to him yet, but no such luck. He did his best to ignore his growing worry, focusing instead on the computer in front of him and the cat on his lap. He could be busy today, he reminded himself. His world doesn’t revolve around you.

Soon enough, he heard the familiar rumble of the garage door, followed by the ca-CHUNK of the front door and the clip-clop-clip-clop of his parents’ footsteps. Virgil gently moved Peanut off his lap, which the pale ginger tabby didn’t seem to mind much. “I’m gonna go say hi to Mom and Dad,” he told the cat. “You can come if ya want.” Peanut meowed in response, which made Virgil laugh. He knew his cat couldn’t understand him, but he still found it wildly amusing when he acted as if he did. He crouched down to pat his head a few times before leaving his bedroom and going into the living room. He smiled at his parents when he saw them. “Hey,” he greeted, giving a sort of half-wave.

“Hey, honey,” his mom greeted with a smile.

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” added his dad.

“Yeah, you too.” He came over and hugged his parents.

“Have you eaten yet?” his dad wanted to know.

“I did,” he reassured him. “I had a bowl of cereal.”

This satisfied him. “Good.”

“What’ve you been up to?” asked his mom.

“Not much. I had breakfast, called Patton and then went to hang out with Peanut and scroll Tumblr for a bit. What about you guys? What exactly were you picking up?” He glanced around in search of a box or some kind of indication of a possible answer but found none.

“Actually,” answered his mom. “It was something for you.”

Virgil hadn’t expected that. “Oh! I-uh, cool. Thanks.”

“Don’t thank us yet,” his dad told him with a laugh. “Go and see, it’s in the garage.”

“Okay.” He went into the laundry room, where the door to the garage was, with no idea what he was going to find in there. His parents rarely got him big presents, and when they did it was either for his birthday or for Christmas. He had no idea what to expect. He reached the door, turned the handle, and flicked on the lights.

Standing there was a teenage boy with a broad smile. He wore a red hoodie and a pair of ripped blue jeans, and his white sneakers were dirty and worn. Around his neck was a necklace with a gold-colored charm shaped like a crown. He spoke, his voice sounding to Virgil like the most beautiful of songs. “Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart.”

“ROMAN!” Virgil barreled into him, nearly knocking him over as he threw his arms around him. “Oh my God, you’re actually here. Like, right here. In my garage. How did you even manage to do this?”

“I have my ways.”

Virgil pulled back a little to smirk at him. “You’re just as insufferable in real life as you are online, huh?”

“Well, I’m afraid you’re stuck with me and my insufferableness.”

“Unfortunately.” Virgil gave him a lopsided grin as an indication that he was joking, and an adoring smile crossed his boyfriend’s face. “Is this why you haven’t answered my message?”

“I can’t believe you’re actually here. You actually are here, right? This isn’t some practical joke?”

“It’s not a joke. I wouldn’t do that to you. Well, maybe I would, but not on a day like today. Not on Valentine’s Day.”

The two were quiet for a few moments, just taking in one another’s presence. Virgil was pretty confident that he would willingly stay here forever if he could.

“Well, now that you’re here, what do you want to do first?” Virgil asked, finally breaking the silence.

Roman gave Virgil the playful smirk he’d only ever imagined before. “I think I have an idea.” He rested a hand on his cheek and leaned in, and Virgil felt his heart soar as he and Roman shared their long-awaited first kiss.

[ophiexb]

Coming Out

Julie learns a little more about her boys- or how Julie found out Alex was gay. 

-------------------

Julie doesn’t know much about…..any of the guys really, even her knowledge of Luke is pretty limited and was only expanded slightly by the guys' help. She knows his birthday, that he ran away from home after a nasty fight with his mom, and that he wrote all their songs. Besides that she really doesn’t know very much at all about the guys. Google isn’t help only the one article about this tragic death of a great band, their names, and nothing else.

She starts to pick up little bits of information here and there, she learns quickly that they are totally willing to talk and share way to much. She just has to make the effort on her end. Because she’s mostly banned them from the house(though she’s very aware it’s ignored completely while she’s at school.) Which means she has to come to them to learn anything or get any kind of conversation on who they used to be before they died. She starts spending more and more time in the studio, practically all her free time in there now listening to them, talking to them, and creating new music.

She learns Reggie likes country music. A lot. Almost more than rock music and it’s actually pretty funny, she makes it a personal mission to start showing him more of it and catching him up on the last 25 years of country. Reggies absolutely thrilled. She also learns he’s a huge Star Wars fan, though that doesn’t go over as well as the country music. There’s little small personal things she learns, like how his parents fought a lot. She makes mental notes to close doors a little softer and even when irritated with them she keeps her tone light. She learns that hes definitely weird, really weird. But he’s also incredibly sweet, he cares about the guys almost to a fault and loves them with everything he is. He’s a bit of a dork, but a lovable one and she finds his love for her Dad a lot more endearing. To have a true example of a loving father she can’t take that from him.

Luke is a bit harder, he’s totally willing to share a plethora of music, songs, and band related stories with her but outside of that she had to really catch him off guard. His songs exposed a lot of his feelings, it’s easy to pick things up from there. Things about his parents, about their band. Luke loves music, almost to much. He eagerly takes in all the new songs Julie shows him and asks her all kinds of questions about various artists and music related topics. He loves movies, and she loves showing him all the top movies over the last couple years. The cgi really gets him at first and she cracks up over it for far too long when she shows him a movie from this year first. She learned very quickly that starting with older movies and working up was better-he for a little less horrified at what he was warching. She also learns that the band is everything to him, which she knew but she saw the extent of how much they were a family. Luke shows love in gentle touches and concern. She watched the way he checks on the guys and touches their shoulders confirming they're okay. That they're there with him and okay.

It’s Alex she finds impossible, he’s definitely a lot softer spoken than the other two, but he’s far more sarcastic with them than her. She finds him constantly rolling his eyes at Luke, giving snide remarks and making jokes at their expense. Which means the side he shows her isn’t completely who he is. He gets worked up a little more than the other guys two, she’s caught him pacing a few times when she’s gotten off school but he immediately stops as soon as she comes in. He’s still not quite ready to open up to her the same way the others are and she’s not sure how to get him to.

“Alex...is I mean he’s just a little more…” Luke pauses looking for the right words to describe the blonde. Julie had come to him asking how to create the same bond she had with the other two. To learn about him and show him things he was interested in. Not just stuff the other guys like. “He’s just-you’ve gotta wait until he comes to you about things.”

She pouted, crossing her arms a bit. “But he’s got you guys he won’t come to me.” She gestured.

“I can’t really help you Julie….it’s. Alex is just a little more reserved I guess? We’ve known one another since we were like ten….” There was at least something. So him and Luke were friends long before the band.

She starts to pick up small things from Luke mostly about him. That after hed run away from home he wasn’t the only one living at the studio. It wasn’t full time but from the sound of it Alex spent almost all his time here as well. Enough to have bags of old clothes and personal items they’d found cleaning the loft. He didn’t cave to any of he questions about why, or when or how or anything and it was so frustrating.

She hadn’t gone to see them today, having dinner with her brother and Dad, getting caught up in homework and now she wanted to just unwind with a show curled up in her pajamas and catching up on some new episodes. Her thoughts kept drifting to them though, she should of at least checked in. There’s a soft knock and she turned slowly to see it wasn’t her Dad, the ghost hand coming around and she laughed. “Come in.” She said softly expecting Reggie, or Luke. Only it’s Alex that comes in wearing his shorts and soft pink shirt that she’d grown familiar with. She pauses her show sitting up. “Hey what’s up? Are you okay?” She worried mostly because he was alone and she’d never really seen the other alone before.

“Me?” He asks looking around a little nervously before nodding. “Oh yeah-Yeah. Luke and Reggie have been busy all day-and I guess….” He hesitates and she smiles, patting the bed next to her. This is her chance.

“Come on, I’m in the middle of a show. Your welcome to come watch it with me.” She encourages and he moves quickly at the invite coming to sit in the bed with he. He’s got his shoes off and she adjusts slightly to give him space to get comfortable before hitting play. She’d never invited any of the guys in like this and she’s sure he knows it, he’s being careful not to look around her room to much, to be respectful of her space.

“What’s it called.” He asked softly slowly unwinding more and more as the show played. His body relaxing next to hers as he curled around his knees.

“Its called Shadowhunter's.” She explained shifting slowly to sit up better with him. “It’s based off a book series; it’s pretty good. It’s about these people-they’ve got angelic blood and I guess they fight demons...there’s so much more to it than that but you get it.” He hummed falling silent as they just watch it together. He seems pretty interested and she wonders if she should ask if he wants to rewatch the whole show with her. If he’d like that. She’s so focused on thinking about Alex she’s completely stopped paying attention to anything going on in the show now.

“A-are they together?” Alex asked his voice so soft she barely catches it but her brows furrow and she looks at the screen. Catching the two characters and nodding.

“Oh yeah, Magnus and Alec-there together. In the books they get married and adopt kids and stuff it’s really cute.” She pauses because his eyes are so wide. For a moment she worries because he is from the 90s and who knows what his mindset is on all this.

“Married? But-but they can’t.” He protested softly. “I guess it’s a book or a show or-it’s fantasy but-but that’s-“ He’s stumbling and Julie can’t help but cut him off.

“Alex gay people can get married, like in real life. Not only that but they can adopt and everything-they’ve got rights now.... It got passed a few years ago.” She sits up a little better, his tone is off. It doesn’t sound like someone whose disgusted or repulsed and she’s absolutely floored to see tears coming to those blue eyes when she gets a better look at him. “Hey-woah. Woah what’s wrong I’m sorry.” She said quickly and he sits back further away from her a bit rubbing at his eyes and trying to wipe away the tears but they keep coming.

“No-no it’s. It’s not your fault I just. I never thought I’d see it.” He whispered looking away. “I never thought-I mean. It-it’s a lot.” Julie pauses for a moment looking at him and he’s really crying now his hands pressed against his eyes tightly. Her heart breaks and she wishes she could Comfort him in some way, hoping he doesn’t vanish before they can talk. It clicks now and she’s hesitant as she speaks.

“It’s come a long way in 25 years...it’s not perfect. But rights have come far, education. Acceptance. We’ve got a long way to go but it’s in media, actors are openly out...do. Do you want to see more? More stuff like this?” He nods slowly, his hands slowly moving away and she grabs her laptop, they gently lay out together Alex on his stomach alongside her the two of them close as they can be and she shows him anything she can think of. More shows with open characters, different actors who are out, she shows him when the laws passed and various couples that have adopted. He’s not crying anymore but his eyes are dark, red around the edges and he seems so deflated and yet she senses ease. He’s crying still, a slow silent cry that hurts her more than anything.

“I met a boy.” He says softly, there watching another show together, he’s curled around her pillows and she’d tossed a blanket over him. He looks cozy, his eyes still red and rimmed with tears but she smiles at him.

“Yeah? Recently?” She asks encouraging him opening up to her, just opening it up and being himself in general. She was kind of excited to hear about this guy he met to. 

“His names Willie. He’s a ghost like us.” He confirms and once he says his name it’s like he can’t stop. “And he-he makes me feel like I’m alive. He gives me these crazy butterflies and he has the sweetest laugh.” He confides and Julie beams at him.

“He sounds pretty awesome. Is that where you go when your gone all day?” He nods in confirmation a soft shy smile on his face as he tells her about some of the stuff him and Willie get up to. How he’s really helped Alex adjust to being a ghost and become more comfortable with this huge change in his life. Julie listens smiling and laughing along with his stories softly about how they went to museum and screamed, or walking around talking about celebrities and tourists.

“I’m glad you found him Alex…..you deserve to be happy.” She encourages and it seems like her words truly catch the other off guard his eyes wide and surprised and so soft. He melts almost, his cheeks red.

“Thanks Julie…” He said softly.

Alex unravels after their night together, she learns so much about him and she feels a little proud, the warmth all across her chest when she comes into the studio now and is able to talk with all of them. It’s finally happened the last piece falling into place that truly, and completely makes them a family now.

[whatiwillsay]

off topic - let’s talk about gaylena 👀

selena gomez is one of taylor’s oldest and bestest friends and given that she is in the 22 liner notes, a huge part of taylor’s life, and maybe fruity herself it seems like possibly we don’t talk about her here at the blog enough!

i don’t want to do a timeline of selena and taylor’s friendship - you can read more about that here, but they met back in the day when they were both dating jonas brothers and to me this idea of finding a real friendship in the midst of these contrived promances is pretty adorable.

ofc most of y’all think taylor is a fruit basket but i think there’s a good chance that selena is too!  i’m not saying she is for sure but y’all know me.  i’’m here to make a compelling case that everyone and their dog is gay so let’s gooooo! 

Part I - At least one fake rs!  

Selena “dated” Taylor Lautner in 2009 and he’s definitely gay.  Of course, that doesn’t mean she is, it could just be PR, but y’all know I gotta note everything!  We stan our fruity bffs dating the same gays 😍

Part II - Selena x cara delevingne

i feel like there’s a chance they met through taylor but everyone in that squad adjacent circle knows one another.  cara dated michelle rodriguez for the first half of 2014 and then got with annie clark in March 2015 but it feels like it’s possible something has gone on between her and Selena from summer 2014 - early 2015? ...maybe something casual on and off a bit?

August 2014 - Steamy pics surface in Saint-Tropez, France

Selena and and a freshly single Cara vacation together in part to celebrate Selena’s 22nd birthday.

They party together and look cozy!

Pictures such as this surface and spark rumors around the two:

Selena apparently loves the rumors and gushes about being shipped with Cara.

Quote:

You say Selena drag queens were the true measure of success for you. But isn’t it true that you’re not truly famous until you’ve been the subject of a gay rumor? And last year, the tabloids had a field day with photos of you and Cara Delevingne. I’ve made it!

How did you react to those rumors? Honestly, I loved it. I didn’t mind it. Especially because they weren’t talking about other people in my life for once, which was wonderful. Honestly, though, she’s incredible and very open and she just makes me open. She’s so fun and she’s just extremely adventurous, and sometimes I just want that in my life, so I didn’t mind it. I loved it.

Notice she doesn’t deny them?  Now of course she could just be being cool, if she freaked out about it that might be even weirder but hey, it’s still kind of interesting.

Then she admits to questioning her sexuality???

Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Oh, I think everybody does, no matter who they are. I do, yeah, of course. Absolutely. I think it’s healthy to gain a perspective on who you are deep down, question yourself and challenge yourself; it’s important to do that.

(Selena btw, this is cool and all, but not everybody questions their sexuality, maybe you’re just gay 👀)

November 1 - LACMA Art + Film Gala 

they even left the event together 👀

and they hung out earlier that day as well:

They were seen the next day partying for Kendall Jenner’s bday singing to her:

a few weeks later Cara tweets Selena’s lyrics!

In December 2014 they are travelling together in texas:

in january 2015 they get cozy at the golden globes together!

and they leave together again:

January 19th/20th a bunch of gay nonsense happens

They post this gay shit with matching shoes and linked fingers:

then they say this to one another:

Enty says they were hooking up!

then we don’t get any more content that i can find for about six months! perhaps they had a fling from summer 2014-jan 2015 and then it ends, Cara gets with Annie in March?  Then after half a year apart Selena and Cara resume a friendly relationship?  Perhaps!  Selena is seen with Justin a bit off and on during this time but this was in their Style/Heat Death Era imo (tbh i probably shouldn’t give a hetty pairing including Justin that designation 🤢but y’all get what I’m saying - it’s fully possible Selena was hooking up with both of them!

Now I’m not super familiar with Selena’s discography so y’all lmk if I’m missing anything major - lyric wise that point to her not being straight.

Selena’s album Revival that comes out after this relationship has a few songs with some vibes, even though I get the feeling a lot of it is probably about Justin, allow me to reach.  The title track could be translated as someone coming to terms with their sexuality (among other things):

I feel like I've awakened lately The chains around me are finally breaking I've been under self-restoration I've become my own salvation Showing up, no more hiding, hiding The light inside me is bursting, shining It's my, my, my time to butterfly

Good for you, imo, is too sexy to be about a man even if it’s not super queer lyrically it’s a vibe ok?

Me & My Girls might be a bestie anthem a la 22 (oh wait, no 22 was gay too) but I mean...could be about a girl gang of lesbians too!

And if we want it, we take it If we need money, we make it Nobody knows if we fake it You like to watch while we shake it I know we're making you thirsty You want us all in the worst way But you don't understand I don't need a man 

Quinn Fabray indeed!

Nobody feels probably like a retrospective on Justin 🙄but...there is a hint of sapphic craving in there!  Saying this particular lover loves them differently than everyone is a bit 👀 plus this stanza:

No oxygen, can barely breathe My darkest sin, you've raised release And it's all because of you, all because of you And I don't know what it is, but you've pulled me in No one compares, could ever begin To love me like you do And I wouldn't want them to

Is Perfect about some bitch Justin started dating?  Probably but bear with me here this song is actually pretty fucking gay.  Gay enough that I’m gonna add it to one of my gay playlists.  Could this song actually be about Cara moving on to Annie?

Ooh, and I bet she has it all Bet she's beautiful like you, like you And I bet she's got that touch Makes you fall in love, like you, like you

I can taste her lipstick and see her laying across your chest I can feel the distance every time you remember her fingertips Maybe I should be more like her Maybe I should be more like her I can taste her lipstick, it's like I'm kissing her, too And she's perfect And she's perfect

Part III - Selena x Julia Michaels

Julia Michaels is a singer/songwriter known for her song Issues.  I don’t know her sexuality but she at the least has gay vibes!  It seems they met around this time perhaps because Julia wrote on Revival.

They have a friendly enough friendship for a few years, liking one another’s posts on IG from time to time, posing for a photo a time or two and then they seem to get swept up into this very intense friendship in 2019.  They write some music together and Julia goes whole hog in promoting the shoe brand Selena is hawking this time 😭

2019 - The Superior Sapphic Jelena Timeline:

It starts, for some reason with a lot of shoe promotion:

chill, chill

more shoes

but more gayness?

this homo shit

ok...

Then we go into the REALLY GAY NOVEMBER OF 2019:

Then they perform together:

And...actually kiss...on the mouth on stage???

Sure it’s just a peck but still...if that were a guy people would say they were dating.  

Somehow kissing on the mouth isn’t the gayest thing these girls do over this period because these fucking dykes got matching tattoos.  I’ve read enough Larry blogs to know this actually means they’re secretly married.  All jokes aside this is fruity behavior. 

From their IG stories:

Selena gets Julia a very nice christmas gift:

Covid sets in and content drops off but god damn!  It’s possible they just had an intense friendship but if a man and a woman collabed on music together, kissed in public, and got matching tattoos everyone would say they were dating!

Selena, as far as I can find, didn’t have any public boyfriends around this time so who are some of these love songs about?

Rare comes out in January 2020 and perhaps has some gayish songs?

Don’t tell me why but boyfriend lowkey, has a gay vibe.  Don’t ask me to explain it but it’s just the musicality of it.

Crowded Room could be a love song for Julia?  (or by Julia for Selena, since they’re collaborators?)

Baby, it's just me and you Baby, it's just me and you Just us two Even in a crowded room Baby, it's just me and you, yeah

These are general gay vibes, our secret moments in a crowded room tease

It started polite, out on thin ice 'Til you came over to break it I threw you a line and you were mine

It would have started out polite between them, since they worked together for years before whatever 2019 was happened.  And throwing someone a line first of all makes Selena sound like the aggressor but also “throwing someone a line” could be a reference to writing songs together.

Yeah, I was afraid, but you made it safe I guess that is our combination Said you feel lost, well, so do I So won't you call me in the morning? I think that you should call me in the morning If you feel the same, 'cause

Lots of people are afraid at the beginning of a gay rs.  Treacherous tease 👀

In summation!

Selena does gay stuff like fantasizing ab kissing other women in her music, getting very touchy with famous dykes on vacay, hangs out with Taylor Swift, has chronic mental health issues, dated a jonas brother and a twilight gay, has admitted to questioning her sexuality, and loves being shipped with women.  Is she gay?  I don’t know!   But all she’s missing from her celesbian bingo card is a suspiciously intense friendship with a Glee Cast member! What do you guys think?  Selena fruity or just weird?

Edit to add: so apparently I missed an entire ship and Selena supposedly acted really gay all the time with her backup dancer Charity Baroni.  Exposing SMG has posted a lot about all that.

Also Selena has been cast in a gay role! edit to add: @bisluthq went and found this for me - julia is indeed a fruit queen

[v3nusaphr0d1t3]

i know you want it in the worst way

crossposted on ao3: <3

rating: explicit

content warning: gay ass mfs, shameless porn, uhhhh impact play

dabi gets pegged by his roommate tomura / no quirk au / trans shiggy / camboy shiggy series

tomura had made an uncomfortable situation for himself. he currently sat at the kitchen table with his roommate, intent on devouring his half of the large pizza by himself in an unreasonable amount of time. dabi was intent on doing the same. but that wasn’t what was uncomfortable. it was the fact that recently, him and dabi had been getting cozy in between streams. it was new, and very strange.

going into this, tomura was honestly just excited for the views that he would get. but the amount of attention that he was getting because of his “chemistry” with dabi was insane. dabi would sleep in tomura’s bed most nights, or they would fall asleep on the couch together. dabi would make him coffee in the morning, or bring him chips on his way back from… whatever his job was. tomura tended to not get involved, because it wasn’t his business and frankly he didn’t care.

but he had begun to enjoy dabi’s presence in his room when he played games. his viewers had seen dabi plenty, and had taken to making fun of tomura in the stream chat. those that knew who dabi was were particularly relentless. and though tomura and dabi had been living together for nearly a year now, it felt like dabi had just recently begun making himself seen. like he had wiggled his way into tomura’s life, and slowly started to figure out his habits, breaking every wall tomura had up to keep people away from him.

hell, he started doing the chores more. it just seemed like he gave more of a shit. it gave tomura butterflies and also simultaneously made him nervous. it was one thing to fuck someone, but all this gushy shit was frightening. he hadn’t really let himself feel like that in a long time. especially since transitioning. but dabi seemed to take him seriously, and more so not really give a shit what tomura did. it was refreshing.

he hadn’t even really realized he had gotten stuck in his train of thought until dabi was waving a hand in front of his face.

“hello? creep? you with us?” dabi’s sarcasm shouldn’t have been an endearing as tomura found it.

tomura raised a non-existent eyebrow. “who’s ‘us’?” he asked, looking around to further the quip.

“me n’ the ghosts, fuck you mean?”

tomura chuckled, going back to his last bite of pizza, savoring it, and standing up to throw the box away. he set it next to the trash can and moved back to the table, sitting down with a satisfied stomach and a lingering question in his mind.

ever since dabi had made him cry on stream, he had revenge on his mind. he wanted to fuck this man into incoherency. and tomura had the advantage of being able to chose his dick size.

“hey,”

“hm?” dabi looked up from where he was staring off, holding his last slice of pizza.

“can i fuck you?” tomura asked in his plain, monotone voice.

“ain’t that what you were doin’?”

“no, i mean— i wanna fuck you. like, i top.” tomura explained as he set his head in his hands, grin splitting his face.

dabi raised his eyebrows, before matching tomura’s grin. “well, i’m not gonna say no to that. just know, you gotta live up to what i put down.”

“easy.” tomura’s competitive streak made it’s appearance. “be ready by tomorrow night, we’ve got a show to put on. you know what to do right?” tomura asked.

“yes, dumbass, i know what to do.”

“ok, ok. just wanted to hear you admit that you bottom.” tomura covered his grin with his hand, standing up and taking off, promptly ending the conversation.

the next time he saw dabi, he was at tomura’s door later that evening, just watching him play his games. this was part of a strange routine that they had developed, more time spent together recently than ever. tomura looked over and him, and nodded over to his bed, silently telling him to get comfortable. dabi did, faceplanting into tomura’s disheveled sheets and listening to the clicks of the mouse and tomura’s gamer rage.

it was nice, having company like this. it was quiet but it was nice.

and eventually, when tomura’s eyes got tired from staring at the screen, or when he got bored of the same strategies over and over again, he stood up from his chair, popping both of his knees in the process, and made his way to the bed. dabi still laid there, asleep. it was a strange and soft sight that tomura enjoyed. it made him queasy to know that he slept beside this man, completely vulnerable, but he did. he didn’t really know when it started, or what they were at this point, but a warm body was a warm body. and tomura crawled in next to him, feeling the sleeping man stir, only to sling his tattooed arm over tomura and pull them together. it was nice. this was nice.

and tomura woke up before dabi like he always did. it always confused him how dabi went to bed before him and woke up after him. he guessed some people just needed more sleep. he took a cigarette from dabi’s jacket at the end of the bed, making his way to the window to sit in the window sill, feet on the fire escape, as he lit it. he liked the watch the all the people, and his lack of sleep always fueled that interest. he only heard footsteps for a moment before dabi wrapped his arms around tomura’s waist mid-inhale, making him cough and struggle.

“you shithead! i should kill you,” tomura grumbled too loud for the morning air.

“mmm, shut it.” dabi’s morning voice was lovely, and it made the morning feel warm. no more words were said, but they were felt as dabi continued to hold tomura, stealing the cigarette from him. and when it went out, dabi entwined their hands and watched the street below with him.

it was nice, this was nice.

this type of intimacy was something that tomura wasn’t used to. but the other kind, the one they were gearing up for to stream to tomura’s viewers, tomura was very used to.

the heat in his gut flared up more as the day went on, when tomura showered, when dabi went on a run for his ‘job’, and when dabi went to go take a shower, tomura went to get ready himself. he pulled out his box from under his bed, pulling out his 8 incher. he wanted to ruin dabi and this bright pink instrument of doom would seem to do the trick. he found his harness and the lube, and laid them all on his desk as he made his bed and cleaned up his room. it was consistently a disaster, he just tried to avoid the mess making its way into his camera shot. by the time most of his shit was pushed out of view of the camera, he heard the shower turn off and dabi step out of it.

tomura sat back on his bed in his boxers and hoodie, materials in sight of the camera which was on and ready for him to press the “go live” button. his door opened, and there stood dabi in his t-shirt and boxers, looking domestic but sexy as all hell. he had a fire in his eyes as he usually did before the streams. he looked at the strap on tomura’s bed and immediately, his face was red and he was shifting where he stood.

“so— we really doin’ this, huh creep?” he murmured, eyes still glued to the toy.

“i mean— you can back out if you want, i haven’t started the stream—”

“no! no, i— i- uh. i wanna.” dabi cut tomura off, already stammering over his words.

and tomura was already obsessed with the shade of red dabi was turning. the white-haired man shuffled his way over to the laptop, making sure all of his settings were in check and all of his links worked, before looking back to dabi.

“ready?” tomura asked, and dabi nodded, sitting back on the bed.

tomura started the stream, waiting a few moments for the viewers to flood in.

“hi! welcome back, you guys are in for a treat this time. it’s my turn to fuck him stupid, as revenge.”

tomura would never get over the way he acted in front of a camera. it was so freeing, which was strange. he felt more natural in front of all these strangers than he did in public. it was absurd and he adored it.

>> hellz yeah!! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

>> Peg the cissie

tomura chuckled at that one. his viewers always entertained him, whether by being inconsolably horny or genuinely funny. either way, he turned back to dabi, grin splitting his face. there was a glint of excitement in the other mans eye, and he could tell this was going to be fun.

tomura made his first move soft, moving his hands up dabi’s tattooed legs to rub his thighs, leaning in for a kiss that was softer than the ones that they had shared before. he started everything off slow, making his way between dabi’s legs as they kissed. it was a push and pull, less biting, and less aggression. though, because it was them, playful nips were a given. tomura earned a nice breathy chuckle from dabi when he moved his hand up to grip the base of dabi’s head by his hair, carding his fingers through it.

when they had to pull away for air, tomura moved on to dabi’s neck, kissing along his jaw to suck a mark onto him, high up on his neck. practically impossible to hide. tomura liked that. dabi was still surefire, breathing only slightly sped up. tomura slid his thigh in between dabi’s to give him something to work his hips on, and he did. he grinded his hips against tomura’s thigh as tomura sucked more into his skin, biting onto the junction between dabi’s neck and his shoulder, making the aforementioned man whine almost pathetically.

“oh— you sound really pretty, dabi.” tomura was always a bit insecure of his voice, whiney and craggly, but dabi seemed to enjoy the sentiment. it made tomura’s gut clench, the way dabi’s breath caught.

“why don’t we open you up, huh? can i eat you out?” tomura wouldn’t be able to spew any filth like this if the camera wasn’t on. it was the false confidence, the performance. but the words were true, dabi really was gorgeous in this moment. tomura didn’t believe how he hadn’t seen it before.

“god— yes, yeah—” dabi’s reply was deep and gutteral, leaned back on his hands as he spread his legs. tomura took to getting dabi out of his pants, pulling his boxers down himself and pulling him by his thighs to lay spread open. tomura was on his stomach, level with dabi’s crotch as he let out little puffs of breath to watch dabi arch into nothing. it was insane how responsive the man was already, and tomura hadn’t even touched him. he had to do this more often.

“jesus— get on it with, will ya’?” dabi’s tone was laced with annoyance, looking down at tomura with a blush on his face and a glint in his eye. tomura’s grin was mischievous as he moved to kiss along dabi’s inner thigh.

“that’s no way to ask for something. you know what you want. ask for it.”

and this was where dabi’s stubbornness kicked in. his lips stayed sealed as he arched against nothing. tomura sat up, moving back from dabi and looking him in the eye. tomura took to running his fingers along the inside of dabi’s legs, up his torso, to his chest, over his nipples, and back down. feather light, only enough to make goosebumps erupt all over.

tomura could tell dabi was trying really hard not to give in. not to move. to do nothing.

“beg. i know you want to.” tomura being able to get away with being a shithead was gonna go to his head if it continued to feel this good. tomura leaned in, just over dabi’s ear, and dragged his nails over dabi’s outer thighs.

“good boys know how to beg, dabi.” his voice was still that monotone, with a hint of mockery. and dabi caved.

“please. please, please please—”

“better than that, i know you’re smarter than that, pretty boy.”

“i need you, tomura, give it to me, give me something, please—”

having dabi like this without even touching him was definitely getting to tomura’s head. but dabi had done good, so tomura moved down and licked a stripe over dabi’s hole. he heard him gasp, so without letting the other man get his bearings, he immediately began his assault, circling his rim with his tongue and running it up and over his taint to swirl the tip of his cock. he moved back down to push his tongue in with little flick, opening him up slightly with the glide of the wet muscle.

above him, dabi was trying to hold in his whimpers and moans, moving one of his hands to muffle himself before tomura, without discontinuing his attention to dabi’s hole, grabbed his arm and shoved it back to the bed. dabi’s next groan was fully exposed to the camera and was like music to tomura’s ears.

tomura knew dabi had a thing for the camera. he knew it from the second dabi asked to join him. so tomura made dabi the star this time. and by god was he doing it well. tomura pulled back and wiped his mouth with his hoodie sleeve.

“you sound really good,” tomura murmured, finally grabbing the lube and hearing dabi sigh in relief with the pop of the cap. he was rock hard and practically leaking against his stomach.

tomura poured some out on his fingers, trying to warm it in his hand but apparently failing if dabi’s hiss was any indication of temperature. he rubbed his fingertips along dabi’s hole, hearing dabi’s breathy whines speed up.

“what did we learn last time?” tomura asked leisurely, looking dabi right in his hazy eyes. he continued his ministrations, teasing but never fulfilling, just never enough to satisfy. he wanted to drive dabi insane, and patience was key. he wanted this boy to beg and pant for the camera, to scream out for him. he wanted dabi to fall apart like putty in his hands, and all he had to do was wait.

but he wouldn’t. yet again, he was denying tomura his sweet, wrecked words yet again. tomura wouldn’t have that. he removed his fingers from where they were running light little circles against dabi’s hole and used his non-lubed hand to run his fingers lightly across dabi’s inner thighs again. dabi groaned in frustration and dropped onto his elbows, giving tomura a death stare like no other. the fire in his eyes was bright, and tomura wanted to dive in and burn. he gave a lazy smirk as he dipped his hand into the crease between the other man’s thigh and his pelvis, running his finger down and avoiding the spot where dabi wanted him the most.

“fuck off,” dabi moaned these words despite their meaning, and tomura could tell that they were not meant to be taken literally.

“you’re such a mess already, and i haven’t even fucked you. come on, say what you gotta say. be good, for once.” tomura was spouting off, dripping wet in his boxers as he leaned in over dabi.

“make me, creep. make me, if you want it so fuckin’ bad.” dabi’s tone betrayed how fond he was of the situation he was in, though still whiny as all hell. tomura almost didn’t want to give him what he was so obviously baiting for. still, tomura would never pass an opportunity to whip the other man into shape.

he wasn’t the strongest, but dabi was in such a shaky state that he was able to manhandle him on his stomach with his ass up, face pressed into the pillow by virtue of tomura’s hand on the back of his head. and without hesitation, tomura laid down a smack hard enough to rattle his teeth on dabi’s ass. he saw the other man light up and he heard a groan loud enough to be loud through the pillow. tomura couldn’t imagine what the chat looked like right now. he didn’t care. they wanted authenticity, he would deliver.

tomura watched a print of his hand slowly appear on dabi’s right asscheek as dabi waggled his hips to try to entice tomura further. he decided to bite, laying another smack just as hard where his thigh met his ass, hearing a loud gasp as dabi drooled onto the pillow. and another, and another. he continued with a few more until dabi was whining into open air, little mewls and whimpers coming from where he had turned his head to the side to breathe better tomura’s hand sneaking its way into his hair and pulling occasionally.

tomura leaned over dabi, right up next to his ear, and murmured, “you wanna be a good boy now and beg for it? come on, i don’t have all day.” his fond little words combined with the stinging pain on dabi’s ass must have made the wall in his head break down.

“please, please gimme somethin’— i need it, c’mon, tomura,” dabi stretched out his lovers name like a prayer, clinging to every syllable like it would satisfy him in tomura’s absence.

either way, tomura finally spread dabi’s cheeks and slowly slid one finger in with surprising ease. he heard dabi whimper yet again, and knew he wouldn’t have to wait much longer to add a second. he did just that, working through whatever resistance the other man’s body posed him. dabi was already a puddle beneath him, little breaths driving tomura up the wall. he was about at the end of his rope here. he wasn’t a patient man, but something about dabi made him one. he couldn’t see himself spending this much time riling anyone else up, and it was strange to see this man make him so different.

he added another finger, watching with hungry eyes as his fingers were repeatedly engulfed. he curled them up against dabi’s walls and watched the man deflate. it was almost amusing.

still, he decided to finally take mercy on the poor thing and stood up to put on the harness. he heard dabi whine and turn over, hissing when his ass hit the bedsheets. tomura got his dick strapped into the harness and turned around with a half assed ‘ta-da’ gesture, smiling when dabi let out a husky little chuckle at the imagery of tomura’s bright pink strap against his black boxers.

he got up onto the bed, seeing now the product of his teasing in the way dabi leaned into his every touch. he lubed up and lined up with dabi’s hole, moving one of dabi’s legs to be on his shoulder. dabi was all limbs, so it was surprisingly easy. and for how leggy he was, he was unexpectedly flexible. tomura began to push in, making eye contact with dabi as he leaned over him, nearly folding the poor man in half as tomura laid one hand beside dabi’s head.

in this process, he had nearly all the way pushed into dabi, and the man below him was losing his mind.

“f- fuck i— i didn’ think it was that big—” dabi’s murmuring was more to himself, but the words went to tomura’s head for some reason. he was smirking as dabi tried to wiggle to get that last bit inside of him, groaning like he needed it.

“tomura, god, please,” the desperation in his voice was the straw that broke the camel’s back. tomura slammed the rest of the way in, and started a relentless pace. the impact of tomura’s clothed thighs against dabi’s raw skin was just another sensation that he could practically see the other man drowning in.

and tomura didn’t know what it was about him, his pretty eyes, his miles of tattooed skin, his long and clumsy limbs, his raspy voice and his overall demeanor, but the feelings that head built up for this man made it all the more breathtaking to watch him fall apart. and tomura couldn’t help but tell him, the camera made him more brave than he was.

“you’re pretty like this.”

“tomura, harder—”

“good boy,”

that little coo of two simple words made dabi keen, throwing his head back, long expanse of his neck exposed and just so gorgeous. tomura was going to lose it. tomura brought a hand up from dabi’s hips to his neck just to fit his hand around it. it felt dangerous, dabi so open and vulnerable for him here, opening up for tomura on film.

“you like that? you like being good for the camera? for me?”

dabi’s breathing was heavy staccato as he arched off the bed, and tomura took his over leg over his shoulder to fuck into him faster. tomura could tell he was nearing his end, hiccups of breath accentuating the way his eyes rolled back into his head at a particularly hard thrust, the drag and friction of the synthetic cock inside him too much for him to bear. he was flushed from his ears to his shoulders, a gorgeous color that tomura was currently particularly obsessed with.

“t- touch me tomura, please, i need to cum—”

“you wanna come? go on, convince me some more.”

“please, i’ll be so good tomura, give it to me, c’mon— i want it, can i? please,” he was repeating himself, so out of his own head to even produce a more intelligent answer. eventually his begging turned into these messy little moans that had tomura feening.

he sounded too pretty, and yet again tomura caved.

he swiped up some of the precum that had accumulated on dabi’s stomach (gross but effective) and started working dabi’s cock in time with his thrusts.

“cum for me, dabi, you’re allowed. you’ve been good for me, come on,” tomura coaxed the other man along as he finally reached his orgasm, spraying all over his own stomach and even managing to land some on tomura.

dabi took a while of deep breathing to finally calm down. in that time, tomura ended the stream with a warm goodbye and promise for more and went off to get tylenol, water and a rag.

wiping jizz off your fuckbuddie’s stomach wasn’t supposed to be particularly tender, but the way dabi’s eyelashes fluttered until the soft touch made tomura’s heart flutter. gross. dabi was a blushy mess, he presumed because of the other man’s prior begging and pleading for tomura’s dick.

“hey, tomu?” his words were barely above a murmur.

“hm?”

“you didn’t get off, did you?”

tomura had completely forgotten, so caught up in dabi’s pleasure and entertaining the viewers in the heat of the moment that the throbbing heat in his dick was slammed back into him at the mere mention of it.

“get yer’ ass over here,”

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Homecoming Job

leverage 1.02

Dr. LeRoque: Pardon me, Mr. uh?

Nate: Oh, uh, Nathan Ford. You’re Dr. LeRoque?

Dr. LeRoque: Can I talk to you outside?

Perry: Doc, he’s cool, I found him on the internet.

Dr. LeRoque: Yes, that never goes badly. (to Nate) With me.

Nate: Uh… I’ll be in touch.

(Perry hands him the flash drive and Nate follows the doctor out of the room)

okay but big mood “I found him on the Internet” “that never goes badly”

but also,,, bruh we NEED to know how their clients found them,,, like ??? H O W

- - - - -

Dr. LeRoque: You can’t just come in here and get his hopes up!

Nate: I’m just here to provide options.

Dr. LeRoque: There are no options.

Nate: The Veteran’s hospital …

Dr. LeRoque: Is 400 miles away and has a five month waiting list. Everybody in that rehab room is a reservist. When reservists get out they get sent home no matter where home is or how far it is from the treatment they need. Nobody thought this through. We’re not a rich hospital, I cashed in every favor I had to take care of these kids for as long as I could but I have to go back in there and tell Perry we can’t treat him anymore. I have to do that. Run your scam on somebody with money.

Nate: It’s not a scam. I’m here to help.

Dr. LeRoque: People don’t just show up to help. That’s not the way the world works.

leverage really called out the us government’s negligence and neglect for veterans in episode TWO and we stan them so hard for it

leverage said “go big or go home” from the VERY beginning

- - - - -

[Audition Room]

Sophie: Why? Why? I can’t live like this anymore. With the lies and the filth. No. Help me. I want to be clean. I want to be clean.

(two directors watching are overwhelmed by just how awful Sophie is)

Rogers: Yeah, you understand this is a soap commercial, right?

Sophie: Uh huh. When I thought about Peggy I came up with this idea that the dirt was really this giant metaphor, for sin.

(Sophie’s cell rings, she glances at her purse)

Rogers: You should take that. No, no you should take that.

Sophie: Oh. (answers phone) Hello? When? (hangs up) Peggy killed her first husband.

Rogers: Thank you

I literally scream every time I LOVE SOPHIE S O MUCH WHAT THE FUCK

- - - - -

[Parking Lot]

(one man is laying on the hood of a car and another falls on top of him. Eliot turns away from the car as the last man pulls a gun on him. They stare at each other for a moment, then a phone rings)

Eliot: That you or me?

(man seems unsure as the phone continues to ring)

Eliot: Could be important. Does your mama have your number?

(man looks down and Eliot grabs the gun, punching the man in the neck. The man goes down, choking. Eliot unloads the gun and tosses it away before pulling out his phone and answering it)

Eliot: Yeah? Nothing, why?

“nothing”? I’m-

- - - - -

(guard walks by a painting hanging in a museum gallery. He looks away for a moment, and when he looks back a rope is dangling where the painting had been. A cell phone rings)

Parker: Parker. Shh. No, I wasn’t shushing you.

I love her, your honor

- - - - -

(Parker, Eliot and Sophie come around the corner and head down the hall)

Parker: From the first job?

Eliot: Yeah.

Parker: I put all that money in a Swiss bank account.

Eliot: Millions of dollars and you didn’t buy anything?

Parker: I don’t like stuff, I like money.

Sophie: I bought a little retirement home, an island.

Eliot: Nice.

Sophie: In Dubai. And Tokyo.

Parker: What about you?

(they reach the door which has a small envelope with Sophie’s name written on it. Sophie takes it off the door and opens it)

Eliot: Yeah, I’m not about to tell two known thieves what I did with a multi-million dollar payout.

Sophie: Don’t you trust us?

(Eliot doesn’t answer.)

- - - - -

Hardison: This is our new cover story. Welcome to Leverage Consulting and Associates, founded in 1913 by the great Harland Leverage the Third.

(Hardison points to a painting on the wall of an older man that greatly resembles Nate)

Sophie: I’m sorry. Nate is going to kill you.

Eliot: Did you paint that?

Hardison: I’m gifted.

Eliot: That’s weird

HARLAND LEVERAGE THE THIRD

- - - - -

Hardison: Now Leverage Consulting Inc. is squeaky clean, all corporate taxes on record as being paid for the last ninety years. (He gives them each a cell and a folder) All your identities as partners, your payroll taxes are paid, you guys have pension plans and dental, those are employment records, case files and company newsletters.

(the group walks the halls of the Leverage offices as they discuss the files)

Parker: In 1998 I won the sack race at the 4th of July picnic. Cool.

Hardison: Now these, these are your offices. Now you can bring something like a photo, you know what, a plant! I’m a big supporter of dandelions.

hardison goes hardcore when coming up with backstories

- - - - -

(Hardison opens doors to a conference room that holds a long table with many chairs around it. One wall is dedicated to large TV screens)

Sophie: Nice.

Eliot: My man.

Hardison: Long version or the short version?

Sophie: Short.

Eliot: Short version.

Parker: Shortest.

(Hardison hits a remote the TV screens illustrate his explanation)

Hardison: Photo and video forensics programs, back doors into every electronic banking system in the world, running heuristic data crawls all over the news sites to find our clients, oh also!

Parker: This is the short version?

Hardison: Facial recognition database tied into CIA, NSA and the FBI. But, the real pièce de résistance (changes screens to sports games) DirectTV HD Total Sports Package. NFL, NBA and I threw in a little bit of hockey ‘cause I know you people like that.

Eliot: Hockey.

hardison nests SO HARD

like, bring in all the highest tech into your cozy new office you designed for you and your fellow adopted criminals? heck yeah

- - - - -

Nate: Our client is the cameraman. Corporal Robert Perry. He says that the Castleman contractors spooked and started firing.

Eliot: 5.56 NATO rounds mixed in with some 9 mils from the sub-machine guns. Insurgents would have used AK-47s with 7.62 ammo. It has more of a... (hits the back of his hand to his palm) crack. Contractors shot 'em up all right.

Parker: You ID’d the weapon from the gunshot sound?

Eliot: It has a very distinctive sound

D I S T I N C T I V E

- - - - -

Nate: Yes, and lobbyists in every office in Washington, DC. The problem with a cover-up is all the paperwork it takes to keep the lies straight.

Hardison: Internal emails, memos.

Nate: Exactly.

- - - - -

[Roof]

[Hardison and Parker are wearing black and connected to repelling gear)

Hardison: I gotta go back to the office I just remembered something.

Parker (adjusting Hardison’s harness): What?

Hardison: I just remembered gravity and the squishiness of all my manly bits.

Parker: I designed this rig myself. The line is carbon fiber. Five point harness. Weight support here, here, and here. Auto-breaking resistance on the main pulley back here.

Hardison: Okay cool, so it’s tested?

Parker: Not yet.

Hardison: Not yet? When the hell was you gonna test it?

(Parker pushes Hardison off the roof. She smiles, he screams)

Parker: Big baby.

(she jumps after him. Hardison screams until he stops upside down. Parker lowers herself to his side)

Hardison: Seriously? Seriously

hardison’s first time rappelling decidedly Did Not Go Well

- - - - -

Sophie: My company’s focused on meeting senators, but I’m thinking congressmen.

DuFort: You know the great thing about congressmen? Fifty, a hundred grand well spent will get one elected, but then once they’re in the incumbency rate is over 95 percent so you can get an average 18, 20 years’ use out of one of them. In these uncertain times buying a United States congressman is one of the best investments a corporation can make.

[DuFort’s Office]

Hardison: Oh I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I’m a professional criminal and I find that disturbing

they’re going at america’s THROAT in this one and I love it. thank you john rogers

- - - - -

(while DuFort is distracted Sophie pulls out his wallet and removes the RFID card with her teeth. DuFort takes off his coat to look at the stain)

I am but a simple gay and this was Hot™

- - - - -

the phones hardison gave the team have six main buttons: internet, text, files, to-do, id scan, and mail

- - - - -

Nate: Parker, what’s the status of the voicelock?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Uh, I’ve been sampling DuFort’s speech but I still need a few more sounds.

[Private Party]

Nate: How many?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Well I only need the sounds puh, tuh, oo, ah, eh, oh, ah, ke, a, ef.

[Private Party]

Nate: Ah, only those. Eliot.

(Eliot walks by carrying two trays of appetizers)

Eliot: I’m on it. Pardon. (approaches Sophie and DuFort) Hello.

Sophie: Ooh. Mmm.

Eliot: (to DuFort) Appetizer, sir?

DuFort: Sure, what do you got?

Eliot: I’ve got the pâté d’escargot avec bière d'Argentine and (looks at second tray and grimaces) what looks like old duck, kind of greasy.

DuFort: I guess I’ll have the first one.

Eliot: Of course.

(Eliot offers him the second tray and Dufort looks at him expectantly)

DuFort: Well? May I have some?

Eliot: The greasy duck?

Sophie: Oh, no, no, no, I wouldn’t have the greasy duck.

Eliot: No I wouldn’t suggest it.

DuFort: No, the other one.

(Eliot pretends confusion)

DuFort: The the pâté d’escargot with the bière d'Argentine!

Eliot: Excellent choice sir (gives DuFort the first tray).

DuFort: (takes food) Who is this clown?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Pretty good. Got most of them. Okay, now all I need is ef, uh and kuh.

[Private Party]

(DuFort spits out the appetizer he has taken)

DuFort: This is shrimp!

Eliot: Very good then. (walks away)

DuFort: It’s shrimp you stupid F----!

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Oh, there they are. Really loud too

parker being so competent and knowledgeable about voice activation codes? amazing. iconic.

and the whole scene with eliot and the food? hilarious.

also there already another meta post about this but this scene shows just how SMART eliot is,,, like coming up with that on spot??? don’t get me wrong, hardison is “the smartest man [any of them know]” but damn

- - - - -

continuing list of non-weapon objects eliot uses as weapons:

an IV stand

+ bonus

nate: the defibrillator/AED

- - - - -

Perry: Mr. Ford!

(Perry pushes a defibrillator towards Nate, who grabs the paddles. The first man runs toward Eliot with a knife, but Eliot grabs his arm and pushes him toward Nate)

Nate: Hello.

(Nate hits the man in the chest with the defibrillator paddles and he flies backward, unconscious)

eliot looking Impressed™ at nate for that

- - - - -

Eliot: Play time’s over Nate, it’s only a matter of time before they come after us. The tall one, the way he used a knife, ex-Marine, probably Force Recon.

Hardison: You ID’d a guy off his knife-fighting style?

Eliot: It’s a very distinctive style.

two distinctives in one episode

- - - - -

Hardison: I didn’t sign up for any of this. What I did before, nobody got hurt.

Sophie: I stole paintings for a living.

Parker: I never hurt anybody.

Eliot: I actually hurt people, so…

LMFAO eliot but also- notice that sophie never said that she never hurt people, she just said she stole paintings for a living

- - - - -

Sophie: Nate, if anything had happened to this kid--

Nate: You know you guys called on me. You remember? You begged me to run the crew, agreed to play by my rules. Now walk out if you have a problem with that. Walk out any day if you have a problem with that. It’s simple.

(everyone looks hesitant)

Eliot: We finish this one.

Parker: Just one

PSH like any of y’all believe that

- - - - -

Hardison: How do we hit ‘em?

Sophie: Congressman Jenkins, he’s our in. Looked me straight in the eye and told me he’d never even heard of the shooting.

Parker: So?

Sophie: Looked me in the eye? When men are telling me the truth they’re not looking me in the eye. A man only ever looks a woman in the eye when he’s making the effort to lie to her.

Eliot: ...Well you can’t argue with that.

Hardison: Noted and filed

LMFAO

- - - - -

Nate: All right, Jenkins is DuFort’s pet congressman, let’s see if we can get him to bite. The best way to get two people to reveal a secret, get ‘em to turn on each other.

- - - - -

Sophie: You should look out for the signs congressman. Missed phone calls, no more little favors.

Jenkins: Those are the same signs that your wife is cheating on you.

Sophie: That’s right.

Jenkins: What am I supposed to do when that happens?

Sophie (hands him her card): Play the field

- - - - -

Hardison: Congressman Jenkins is very careful. No direct bribes but he’s renovating his house and so far he’s received over $600,000 worth of work for a little over fifty grand.

(Hardison brings up pictures of Jenkins’ house on the screens)

Eliot: Castleman owns the contracting company, huh?

Hardison: I mean, he’s going through like three shell companies but yeah. And this man loves his house. Just check out his web browsing habits.

(Hardison changes the image to a website for wood panels)

Hardison: Look here, see the man spent three weeks picking out the perfect mahogany wood panels. This site is like wood porn.

Eliot: Is his house finished?

Hardison: Not even close.

Eliot: Can I borrow your phone?

Hardison takes out his phone, dials for Eliot and hands it to him.

Eliot (on phone): Hello? Yes, I’d like to cancel delivery on some mahogany wood paneling. Please.

(Hardison tries to help, Eliot walks away)

Eliot: The Jenkins house. Yeah, you know what, do me a favor man, just go ahead and cancel the whole order. Yes sir.

(Eliot leaves the room as Nate enters with a bowl of popcorn and two beers)

Nate: What’s he doing?

Hardison: Yanking the congressman’s chain

I love chaotic (pre)boyfriends

plus at one point it high hey looked like they were holding hands

and eliot’s SMILE at hardison ,,, you soft man, you never stood a chance

- - - - -

Hardison: A woo--whoa, whoa! A wood-- a wooden box?

Nate: A wooden box.

Hardison: Wood? Well, we can put a man on the moon but all our laws go into a wooden box.

- - - - -

Hardison: I mean, break a law, everybody’s done that, my mama’s done that but steal a law. Oh, she’s gonna be a legend baby.

(on screen, C-SPAN news shows the Senate floor where Parker is walking to “The Hopper”. She waves at the camera and puts the fake bill into box.

Parker: The eagle has landed.

Nate: It’s in!

Hardison: Uhn! Go ahead girl! Sexyness! Unh. Rrrnnn.

Nate: Might want to ease up on that a little bit.

Hardison: Just saying.

Nate: Yeah.

Hardison: Between me and you. Between me and you.

Nate: Never leaves the room.

adorable “the eagle has landed” parker + already-gone-for-her hardison ,,, I love it here

- - - - -

(also, again I am reminded that there is a 250 text block limit so imma have to make a part two and apparently this is my life now)

[restingdomface]

Since I’m just as obsessed with yarn craft (making it and dyeing it and using it) as I am with fandom, I just feel that y’all should know, in every modern AU I make where Lan Wangji has bunnies, they’re all angora and he raises them for not only being precious, but also he steals their wool. I’m making an AU where it’s a 3zun sorta fic (they all technically live separately with their houses next to each other in a triangle and knocked down their fences so they would have one massive garden) and LWJ was obsessed with bunnies when he was little but Lan Xichen really liked to knit so he was all ‘hey, let’s get angora rabbits’ and now Lan Qiren spins their fiber into yarn and when LWJ is like 9, Wei Wuxian shows up cause the Jiang’s bought the lakehouse across the street from them and so now they show up for holidays and school breaks and LWJ got an instant crush on him and crocheted him a beanie because WWX has never seen snow before (y’all this bitch out here while it’s snowing in shorts and a tee shirt LWJ is afraid he’s gonna DIE) and WWX falls in love instantly and it’s cute. Also WWX is trans. And Meng Yao raises Mo Xuanyu and later on Rusong (not his kid, Qin Su showed up saying she couldn’t handle getting rid of it but she couldn’t keep it either so MY was all ‘okay, I’ll take it’ and that’s that) and later on after WWX gives birth to A-Yuan (yeah I went there, deal with it, it was an accident tho, WWX is told he should get rid of it cause he’s too young for being pregnant but he’s all ‘nope, going through with it, then I’m getting those parts removed’ cause oooof) LXC suddenly gets surprise custody of their little cousin 6month old Lan Jingyi and he’s all ‘Ahh shit’ and so there’s like. So many toddlers running around the garden at all times. Jin Zixuan meets Jiang Yanli when he’s visiting one day and she’s over having tea with LXC while they watch the kids roll around like a bunch of idiots in the garden and it’s cute. They like each other. Jiang Cheng gets sick when he’s around sixteen and ends up getting an organ transplant (or maybe bone marrow? I was looking up transplant stuff but apparently if you get a donated kidney you’re only expected to live another 20 years at most before you need another transplant??? IF you can get another??? And liver would be much more rare I guess for a 16 year old. But if he had some sort of cancer or a disease involving bone marrow transplant as a treatment, it could work) and WWX is the one that gives the transplant. Why??? Because you need some angst in somewhere and tbh I kinda want 16 year olds JC and WWX to spend a while in the lakehouse doing homeschooling (with LWJ because LQR homeschools him cause of his fear of crowds and Jiang Fengmian was all ‘hey, can you just... teach them for a year?? They’re too tired to cause much trouble anyways and they can’t go to school and hanging out with LWJ night cheer them up) and Nie Huaisang takes that as permission to get homeschooled for a year (Nie Mingjue originally refused him because he was a little shit and wouldn’t stop bothering him when he didn’t have people to chat with all day but now he’ll have JC and WWX to chat with) and now LQR is stuck with them all for a year before JC and WWX go back to their hometown school. It’s long enough for LWJ and WWX to start a budding romance and for JC to realize that he thinks relationships are nasty and kissing is gross. Actually, they probably just stay there till they’re all graduated because why the heck not. Yanli is dating JZX and uses that as an excuse to visit him often (well, she’s also spoiling baby bro’s, but if she can get some flirting in while it’s happening, why not) and YZY and JFM tend to travel a lot so they don’t see an issue with them all staying there while they can. It’s been helpful to WWX cause there’s still some issues with bullying back in their hometown (and in a town where not everyone sees him as the ‘weird tomboy girl who thinks she’s a boy’ here, he gets into less fights) and this has been really helpful.

I wanted to make the worlds longest paragraph ever but tumblr said no. So anyways. JC is still in recovery for a while so it’s best at the Lakehouse instead of a city, and he can chill out on the porch in the warmer months and get cozy inside next to the fireplace with a million blankets and hot cocoa when it’s cold out. He’s. So. Cozy. Also JFM got him a service cat because WWX still can’t be near dogs. He wishes his bro could get a dog and feels bad about it, but tbh they keep forgetting that for all JC would like a dog, he’s basically a slut for any cute animal ever. He hangs out in the 3zun garden across the street a lot. NHS has like 15 birds and NMJ has like four cats (who are Not allowed in the atrium lol) and LWJ has all those rabbits and MY has like a million kids and those are basically wild animals so they count. (Seriously tho family members keep dropping kids off with 3zun and not coming back for them but??? It’s okay??? Cause they’re all ‘single’ -not living together- gay men and so none of them can get on an adoption list for shit anyways. Lol so many kiddos running around.) LQR is ready to murder WWX by the time the kiddos all graduate and he’s all ‘oh thank god now I don’t have to see him all the time’ but then WWX shows up at the house one day (him and LWJ have been dating for like a year and a half now) and he’s all ‘hey. I’m. Pregnant.’ And LQR is all ‘...ahhhh shit now I gotta deal with him even more’ and it’s. Amazing.

WWX pretty much moves in with them after that (WWX is all ‘we can get an apartment or something’ and 3zun is all ‘sure, okay’ but then always find a way to distract them cause they’re all ‘yeah, we like our space’ but then they’re all ‘if a single sibling/child of ours moves out we’ll get instant empty-nest syndrome and die’ and so they’re like. Really possessive over their kiddos. LQR is mostly there cause he’s the only adult that bothered to stay in LXC and LWJ’s lives when they were growing up and he’s great.

A year after A-Yuan is born, they get Lan Jingyi (he gets dropped off with LXC and just never picked up again wild) and then Jin Ling is born (and he gets dropped on Meng Yao a lot cause JZX has watched him with kids before and knows his brother genuinely loves babies) and then Qin Su (their half sibling) shows up one day all ‘hey, so, I’m pregnant and I’m not keeping it but it’s too late to get rid of, you like kids, you want one?’ And MY is all ‘...yes...’ and she stays with them till little Rusong is born and then heads off to live her life and MY gets the joy of taking care of an infant that he hasn’t gotten to experience since MXY was little which was like 13 years ago. Lol MXY isn’t all that enthused with his new baby bro but Baba says he’ll get less ugly when he’s older and stops looking like a potato. MXY does NOT agree that he once looked like a potato himself, how dare you, Baba!

They have a greenhouse and LXC is definitely growing pot in it.

[spnreactionblogging]

CARRY ON

spoilers below but I’m very late to the game

here we go!!! there's Some Woman in the thumbnail for this episode and I'm like oh boy did you fuckers turn castiel into a girl to make it Not Gay, I will riot. we're off to a dread-inducing start I'm honestly not even sure I want to watch this? I have not heard anything good but since my options are either keep SPN blacklisted forever but ultimately get spoiled anyway, or use my dwindling remaining time to see it for myself without being told what happens, may as well be on my own terms I am hearing that misha and possibly j2 were not happy with this, whatever this is (?????) yikes I don't understand how you even have another episode after the last one. that seems like a traditional ending. you either beat a dead horse or go ultra meta and it sounds like they dropped the ball, big time but let's see jack's sweet and deserved better. there's a clock but it's NOT heat of the moment playing, damn oh the dog. we love you miracle dog sam's still jogging where's eileen!!!! I like seeing sam cooking I actually enjoy watching them do domestic stuff dean sneaking food to the dog 😭 can this be the whole episode, just them doing chores I meant to catch which book sam was reading I can't tell but it looks like it's old this is extra bonus sad for knowing that they couldn't even like, have a wrap party or anything. extra isolated. :( SPECIAL GUEST STAR JIM BEAVER!!! "Are you sure you're ready for this?" "Oh, I don't have a choice." dean hasn't been this relatable to me in years, this is how I feel watching this lmao akron pie fest dean dies of complications from diabetes god I miss bakeries or restaurants or anything I do love Sad Sam Face "I"'m thinking about Cas, you know? Jack. If they could be here." thank you Sam that pain isn't going away for me either "stop being an eeyore" Sam's the Eeyore of the series, Dean, okay, and same lmao jared fucking slammed that pie into jensen's face and they just filmed it. you can see the actual glee on his face brady??? like sam's old classmate? wasn't that his name? or no some kid. is this just a regular-ass monster of the week. do sam and dean just get killed by like. regular people? are there no monsters anymore. I would actually love that. humanity is truly the worst monster of all. didn't we learn that in season 1 :') in "the benders" are these guys sam and dean? are they just murdering monster families like they did in the holiday episode? what is happening. are those dean's shoes. I could probably recognize how they walk if I really paid attention i guess not. probably. "singer and kripke, FBI" ha fucking clowns lmao poor sam they still have dad's journal, huh. THE LORE evil mimes. vamp-mimes. I guess they kill these dudes? we gonna unmask them or what there we go this guy looks like joseph gordon-levitt oh we love torture on this show this is definitely "dean who's NOT the ultimate killer" amirite "if those kids are dead he's gonna use a spoon" how very walter sullivan of you also I feel like sam would not do this anymore but hey who am I, someone who likes consistent characterization? lol we're back to creepy barns instead of wet pipe factories dean has a fucking shuriken lmao I honestly for real need a machete for the overgrown weeds I don't hate this so far? I'm tired of the constant torture but I guess this feels like early seasons, kind of. idk. lmao sam with the concussions. classic tie them to a chair. it's what we do. i will be disappointed if they are not tied to a chair jenny? cue studio killers. I do not remember whatever episiode this is but it looks very early based on sam's hair oh thanks sam. couldn't get out of this episode without beheading a woman too one of the suggestions for me typing "woman" was a high-heeled shoe emoji. thanks, predictive text...?????? true feminist oh damn he could very well get tetanus from that. that's how trinity dies, man. should've gotten your booster shot, dean. vaccines save lives this is like the plot of signs why don't you guys wear bulletproof shit. your plot armor was holding you together until now. GUYS THIS IS HOW HUNTERS GO OKAY don't ever un-impale someone, guys like "dean we are in a major city, there are ambulances" call fucking 911, someone could be there already "I've always looked up to you" because you're taller than me lmaoooo idefk what to say about this like. we all know this is how hunters die. you fucking leered at jessica is what you did, dean if sam makes it out of this I'll accept it. if sam lives I can be okay. if this is the only way sam gets free of this, I'm okay. CALL 911 AND CALL JACK "always keep fighting" aw :( they're both very good at crying, I will give them that we never think it's gonna be the day. at least you got pie. OH THE WINCHESTER FAMILY MUSIC don't do this to me dean got a way better death than castiel. this actually reminds me a liiiiittle bit of the end of season 2? with how dean holds sam's body. the writing here is overwrought though. jared and jensen do the best they can with the script they're given but like you guys just FOUGHT GOD. they're a bit too up their own ass with this. you can tell that dabb thinks he's very clever. sam... gets a dog again? at least. i guess. the pacing is bad. I don't hate this on principle but it is not executed well. I am having like no emotional response to this except maybe relief for sam in a horrid way. like, you're free! at what cost. it's like the opposite of season 5? sam survives instead of dean. and... sam marries a dog. where do they get all this fucking lumber!!! did sam chop that all himself dude if he woke up to "heat of the moment" i'd lose my shit in the best way. gabriel wins. "gotta keep you on your toes." what had to change in this because of the pandemic? at least sam has a dog to be in scenes with him. the two guns as big and little brothers is an interesting choice of a shot. god the fucking phones. "DHS" "CIA" "dean's 'other other' phone" "state patrol" what's the paperwork on his desk? (512) is an Austin area code I have this on amazon prime and the saddest thing thus far is X-Ray: Jared Padalecki as Sam Winchester, with no other actors at all. meta ways, pandemic related. "this is agent bon jovi" donna's alive??? sam just quit, babe. just quit. or take a day off at least, jesus. didn't you just drive back from ohio are you even gonna go back to the bunker DEAN IN HEAVEN!!! how'd you get here. "well at least I made it to heaven" lmao he said the same thing oh hey bobby!! I love jack god i've missed jim beaver you guys moved on to dream bubbles!!!!! RUFUS how very homestuck + narnia of you, starring sam winchester as susan pevensie so jack just like melded all of these metaphysical spaces, I'm cool with that "so the question is what are you gonna do now, dean?" get a better beer so I can drink and drive with my car that's in heaven, I'm already dead so who cares what I hit TELL ME WHERE IS BALTHAZAR FOR I MUCH DESIRE TO SPEAK WITH HIM break everyone out of the empty I do get the impression this was supposed to be a big cast reunion and the pandemic clobbered that :( oh it's the original license plate on the impala sure do love that cas and jack "helped" to give dean everything he's ever wanted. the only time "carry on my wayward son" has been diegetic I guess sam and the dog had a child I like jared in glasses are we doing a bunch of elderly makeup yeah there he is did they just spray grey temp dye on his hair or what is sam gonna drive into toluca lake!!! buddy please don't just run the engine in a garage, he took off his glasses and that makes me nervous jake gyllenhaal looking dude which cover is this must be nice to have healthcare I so appreciate that sam's wife has zero personality and is merely in the background, of no importance whatsoever compared to his kid named dean are the two impalas gonna meet in heaven????? vancouver is beautiful, or wherever this is at jared looks so cozy in that coat you can tell j2 really do love each other for real the majesty of that forest/that river got me choked up a bit, it's such a lonely thing. like. I can see what they were going for? like dean just... getting sick, falling off a ladder, getting in a car accident, etc etc would've been more potent, I think. the execution was not good. I'm not that unhappy though. it's all right. eh. it's fine. the heartfelt message from the cast (what's left of them....) and the crew was sweet. I want to know what they were intending to do? I feel like you can definitely feel the weight of COVID fucking this up which is genuinely upsetting. sam gets like 50 years of being free of dean I GUESS???? perhaps the only way to break the cycle.

at least there was no sexual assault in this episode. i have definitely watched way worse episodes of this show. it's like. twee. but I can't be mad at these guys especially with how much I know jared in particular has been struggling with the state of the world this year but jensen talked about it with rosenbaum on his show too. 2020 has been rough. like. at least they filmed it. whatever. I feel like I get what they were trying to do even if circumstances meant it wasn't really pulled off. it seems like they were supposed to have a big cast reunion and the pandemic took the wind completely out of their sails. this feels incredibly tacked on. 15x19 would've been a much better place to stop. I feel like I just read andrew dabb's notes. I get what they were trying to go for but they didn't pull it off. I thought it was gonna be a lot worse tbh in summary: EHHHHHHHHH

[beautifulterriblequeen]

just how I’m doing

Looks like I don’t wanna be me during this pandemic, man. I’m spending most of my days helping my two kids with their school--lots of effort, and it breaks up my time so I can’t really get anything else of my own done during those hours. I can get to short asks, but not long theory ones, and I definitely don’t have time or focus to write very often. By evening, I’m dead inside, and I end up running around killing things in Neverwinter with my main character, Runaan. I recently made an Ethari too, and he just works in the workshop and sells stuff. Both are calming, really. Creation, destruction, these two are the whole package. 

And I’m spending lots of my daytime free time on my ask blogs, being someone other than myself, because it’s nice and safe and cozy and happy over there. And so many other people are looking for the same thing, coming to ask questions, that it feels like S3 just dropped all over again. I don’t want to disappoint anyone or make them feel like they’re not worth hearing. Except the haters who have nothing better to do than harass a pair of mostly stable gay married fictional elves. They’re super not interesting. Especially now during an actual crisis, lol. I know we all react differently to heavy existential crisis, but I have actual financial issues and my kids’ future and job woes and marriage stuff and career panic going on. Am I hiding from that by answering asks and killing cultists? Oh definitely. But I gotta have a safe space somewhere. Runaan and Ethari are my safe space. I can’t fix nearly anything that’s wrong in my life right now. But I can cheer you guys up and give you a smile, I hope, and that’s not nothing.

Little things are the key. I learned that a few years ago when I had a nervous breakdown. Find just one little tiny thing and work on that, and take a moment to acknowledge when you make it work right. Last night I dumped a load of laundry on my bed. It took two days to get it through the washer and dryer, but I got it back into the bedroom, woo! But then I left it there. But then, see, I woke up this morning and it was right within reach. And so I folded it. The whole pile. Without even getting out from under my covers. I Marie Kondo’d the shit out of that laundry, fam. And it gave me a real sense of peace and control. Which honestly is about as solid a way to start the day as there is. Chores are my meditation these days. I gotta be physical, my mind can’t stay on topic otherwise.

Digging a garden space up in the middle of the back yard. It’s the only place with enough sun. It feels good to make a change for good. Almost ready to plant, too. Gonna put in like six different tomato plants, guys. I love tomatoes, especially when they’re warm from the sun. Mmmmm.

it rained hard overnight here. My hammock got soaked. So I got up first thing and unhooked it and draped it to drip dry. Forgot to bring the plants in last night so they got watered. Even the lettuce I’m growing from the store lettuce got rain. I feel like I’m floating on an ark of isolated civilization in a watery world. But I have faith that your boats are all still out there. I see you on my horizon, and just knowing you’re there makes me happy.

Woke with “Little Talks” in my head, so I’m jamming it on repeat atm. I think what’s getting me is the ‘Though the truth may vary, this / ship will carry our bodies safe to shore.” Life is uncertain, more so than usual. But I’m on my ship, and even though nothing matters anymore, I still want to feel okay, so I do the things that make me feel okay. Like planting things and folding laundry and answering elf asks. Maybe nothing will ever be the same again, but that’s okay too, because the Ruthari ship will carry my body safe to shore.

I truly hope you’re all doing okay, guys. I love and support you.

[hellishvu]

Fellas, is it Gay to Fall in Love with a Spider?

—  this was so fun to write and let me tell you ! i’m in luv with this concept. also this one is WAYYY longer then my usual stories so grab your popcorn! i wanted to do it right and not force or push the relationship :) this is going to be my pride gift! since it’s so long and i’m sososo close to 200 followers so please enjoy <33

words: 4,783

☆彡 where a spiderkook comes flying through your window during a robbery chase.

Jungkook loves his role as Spider-man, he loves saving things from the world to his local neighborhood. Sometimes he would save a cute guy here and there or a friendly cat. Flying through the air when all of his community knows him very well. Of course they hadn’t known his real identity wanting to keep that a secret. He could only imagine the reaction of all his friends that he’s known for years.

So when one night a chase turned extreme very quickly, Jungkook was on the case seeing the burglar steal a handful of the local bank’s money. Jungkook being there before any of the police force wanting to take things into his own hands. The sharp turns, the fast dodges so he doesn’t hit city buildings. This guy was an expert because he knew every pathway for Jungkook to almost lose him.

There was a sudden turn where he was face front in a bright advisement billboard causing Jungkook to turn his body to a nearby window so he wouldn’t smash right into the wall. Jungkook smashed through the window seeing a male sleeping soundly till he awoke rapidly.

“Holy shit!” You screamed out as you saw a male with a spider suit groaning in pain seeing the he literally went through your window. You heard the shattered glass when he stood up looking out the broken window seeing the robber got away.

“What? What are you doing? My window!” You whined when you got up turning on the light of your room, thank god you lived alone or explaining this to anyone would be a nightmare.

“Well, I shoot webs here and there you know.” The male says with a rather cocky attitude seeing you grab a broom near the door of your bedroom.

“Well you kinda shot a web into my house.” You pointed at the residue of a web on your very favorite poster of the band you’ve been obsessed with. You turned your head towards the clock to see the time was almost 12am.

“Don’t you sleep? It’s 12am. Why are you rolling through windows?” Jungkook heard the male say swiping the glass, you got near his foot pushing the broom to signal him to move his feet so you can get all the glas. Jungkook was literally so confused, did you pay no mind that he literally could fly through your window? Or did you not notice that he was Spider-man in the first place?

“Okay, I hope this doesn’t seem egotistical but you know i’m Spider-man right? Saved the planet?”

“Hi spider-man that saved the planet. I’m y/n now go fix my window!”

“Okay I will come back later but right now I have to go.” Jungkook tried to say when he moved even a muscle caused him to wince at the pain of some open cuts. You took his arm and gave him support so he could get to your bed.

“No. You’re bleeding, luckily no glass got stuck in your skin but it’s better to stay here.”

“But I have to go, plus I just can’t reveal my identity.”

“Well Spider-man you can keep your mask on, just let me help your wounds. Let the cops take care of whatever chase you’re in.” You covered your windows by the curtains you had hoping that the male could relax about his identity. The male requested he went to the bathroom to change, of course you providing clothes for him.

Jungkook walked in the bathroom and the first thing that came to mind was “I’m so fucked.” Why did he need to chase after that one robber, why did he jump through a window, or why is this (cute) guy helping him? Jungkook looked at his reflection of the so called cuts and wow there was a lot of them he was surprised that he hasn’t dropped dead yet. Jungkook took off his spider suit leaving just the mask which looked so ridiculous that he couldn’t help but giggle in the bathroom but it hurt like a bitch so that ended quickly.

“Are you okay in there?” Jungkook heard the muffled question by the door yelling back an ok before once again looking in the mirror once again.

Jungkook opened the restroom door to see you already with an air mattress near your bed. Jungkook raised an eyebrow seeing he never intended on staying the night at so called... just now realizing that he hasn’t learned your name or he just forgot.

“What’s your name?” The male asked when you set a pillow on his air mattress. You looked up to see a well fit male that was like eye candy but you quickly snapped out of it so you could answer his question.

“Y/N, I said it before but I was in a fit of rage so it’s nice to not want to kill you.” You smiled when the male sat down next to you. You grabbed the very home-made med kit that you had for god knows how long but you made sure it was sterile. You don’t want to be known for the person that literally killed spider-man. You started with the smaller cuts some needing band aids while others needed bandages.

“Question though.”

“Shoot it.”

“Do you always jump through people’s windows?” The question has Jungkook snickering flicking your forehead in response, telling you the story from the beginning of how he ended up sitting next to you. Even if he did sleep over, he was spider-man! He’s dealt with the worst people so if you did try anything he doubts it will be tough situation. Maybe that was just an excuse to stay next to you while your warm hands touch his rather cold body. That made his face heat up but thank god you couldn’t see it or the way his ears are probably the most vibrate red in the entire world. Weakness: cute guys... truly the worst.

When the fix was done you sighed seeing the great job you did but you clicked your tongue when you saw one of them were already falling off. You went back to work while this probably will kill Jungkook, he was ticklish and throughout all of this he’s been dying to not laugh.

“Well you should be done. There’s your bed, don’t mind if it gets cold doesn’t usually get that cold in here.” Once again you hinted at the broken window, Jungkook couldn’t help but giggle a little. You laid back on your bed rolling your body away from spider-man.

“Wow he acts like I’m just a friend sleeping over.” Jungkook thought while turning his body towards you, seeing the back of your head. God this mask was suffocating though, he never realized that in battle but holy shit when you got nothing to think but about this mask.

“Do you think, you could just not turn around because I’m going to die from this mask before I die from bleeding.” Jungkook asked seeing you slowly turn to see him. You nodded having sleep in your mind rather then the superhero’s face. Jungkook took off the mask breathing in deep breaths ruffling his soft brown hair. He liked it longer, loved his natural curls.

“Hey I’m a cute boy you’re a cute boy. I have a great personality, you do too. Let’s be soulmates.” Jungkook thought once again before covering himself with more blankets feeling the chilling breeze. Jungkook yawned before resting his eyes.

You woke up rubbing your eyes, you felt something missing or someone. You looked down to see the spider kid not even there. You grumbled that he just left! You looked through the broken window trying to not get pricked by the sharp edges. Looking at the air mattress with a note on the pillow.

“Well there goes him.” You mumble under your breath as you got to cleaning the sleepover if you could call it that.

Jungkook went home, seeing that the apartment was empty so he had the opportunity to quickly change out his spider suit and giving him the well needed shower. The water on his wounds stung for a bit but he felt clean and he can finally go out to eat.

“Jungkook where were you last night?” Jungkook heard his friend that he’s been living with for years. Jungkook quickly tried to come up with an excuse as the silence was more noticeable the longer he took.

“Just slept over at my.. boyfriends house.” Oh god the regret he witnessed when Namjoon gasped loudly. Jungkook did not indeed have a boyfriend neither a brain apparently. That excuse will have to do till Namjoon forgets about it but till then he’s gotta make up a fake person or he could use you but he literally doesn’t know anything besides your name.

Jungkook got out of the shower, seeing his well missed bedroom with posters and clothes that still need to be washed. Jungkook patched himself up but while doing it he couldn’t help but miss your warm hands.

The real question was how was he suppose to help you fix your window? I mean he can’t just walk in and be like “Hey i’m the guy that like broke your window but I’m not spider-man. I’m just a guy you know? That noticed your window was broken because I’m a nice-” Now he was just rambling to himself, he wanted to see you again somehow or someway. Maybe there was another way, maybe he had to take things in his own spider hands.

Jungkook put on his suit sneaking off in the back of his bedroom window webbing across the city trying to look for that particular billboard. Jungkook found it seeing the large women with cat food in her hand while the cat literally looks like they want to destroy her. Jungkook looked inside your window seeing that you weren’t home and no lights were on.

“This can’t be a good idea, crime is never a good idea but is it crime if it’s helping? Maybe he’ll tase me and reveal my identity and send me to become the next cat food model with a cat that wants to murder me, but I won’t be the model I’ll be the cat food they will call it spidermeow.”

You walked in from the longest day of your life, time moved like a snail and you rather spend your time in your cozy bed than anywhere else right now. Playing your favorite music through your earbuds before taking them off when you entered your room. You saw your window was finally repaired with a little note stuck on with tape.

You took off the note seeing the window was actually repaired quite nicely. You knocked on the glass making sure it has the strength to stay in place. Seeing a large box of which probably where the glass was shipped in, you turned it around seeing a name and an address.

Order from: Jungkook Jeon

Ship to: Game Apartments Apt 304

Shipper’s Address: Seaside Apartments Apt 203

“Jeon Jungkook!” Jungkook heard a yell from Namjoon, groggy from taking a nap not so long ago. Jungkook opened the door wearing his slippers before seeing Namjoon in the door way. Jungkook ruffles his hair before taking the door.

“What can I help you wi-” Jungkook widens his eyes recognizing your face instantly. Jungkook cleared his throat trying to act back to normal. Not wanting to break his persona of just a normal guy.

“I think we should talk window breaker.” You grinned with the address and name sticker held up in the air.

Jungkook quickly let you inside pushing you towards his room before Namjoon could ask what was going on. Jungkook slammed the door looking back at you resting on his bed.

“So you’re spider-man?” You got up seeing his face up close and personal. Jungkook gulped stepping away from you to hide his anxious behavior.

“Me? Spider-man psh! That’s- absurd!” jungkook could feel the sweat roll down his forehead to his cheeks.

“Jungkook you don’t have to lie. Plus you wanted to meet!” You cross your hands almost like trapping Jungkook from any possibility of breaking free from this one.

“Yeah but not revealed.” Jungkook ran his hand through his hair, sighing that Mr. Park was going to kill him later about someone finding out his identity.

“I won’t share it. Call it a solid for fixing my window.” You smiled seeing Jungkook blush from seeing your cute smile.

“You also look a lot better then I imagined.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“So is that all? I know your identity and the world seems to not be exploding.” You looked out his window trying to prove the point that the world will keep spinning if you knew his name or not.

“Well once you start sharing it I’m sure the world will explode pretty soon.”

“Well I’ll just hang out with you till I gain your trust. So if I start sharing you can catch me anytime.” You declared a deal with him seeing his reaction of being uncertain that this plan will go as smoothly as you want.

“I wish I was cat food instead.” Jungkook mumbled under his breath, having to deal with this and try to explain this to Mr. Park was going to be the death of him.

“You want to get some coffee? Catch breakfast?” You asked trying to give Jungkook a chance to let loose and not think about his spider side every two seconds.

“It’s 2pm.”

“Well, what about brunch then?” You shrug your shoulders trying to meet in the middle with Jungkook.

“Fine. Let’s go.” Jungkook gestures you to leave his room, following you right behind.

“We will be back Namjoon.” Jungkook waves at Namjoon closing the door leading you to go down the stairs the thick air of awkward silence. You expected him to be louder and more out going like when he was in his spider suit.

“So.” You said in between your sips of your beverage, Jungkook holding his banana smoothie in his hand. Jungkook turns his head towards you away from the window he was just staring out of.

“So?” Jungkook raises his eyebrow, wondering when you were just gonna leave him alone so he could just handle the issue of his identity.

“You get mean when you’re Jungkook.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well when your spider-man, you’re kind and you fix windows. When you’re Jungkook you seem annoyed to be with me. I feel like you’re not even giving me a chance.” You sigh sinking in your seat, deciding if there was a way to remove your memory from that night you would take it in an instant at this point the chances of you becoming Jungkook’s friend is as equal as the planet exploding due to an alien invasion.

“It’s just- My friends don’t know, Namjoon doesn’t. I’ve been friends with them for years and they still don’t know. I wasn’t ready for someone to know.”

“And I was hoping that somehow we could meet again but as Jungkook and somehow we could be friends since you’re really sweet. If we are friends and people know who I am. You could get in so much trouble and risk to your own life just because I didn’t remember to take off the stupid sticker with my name in big bold letters.” Jungkook takes a deep breath trying to calm himself down seeing your reaction of silence. It wasn’t that you didn’t know what to say, you were figuring out when you should say things.

“Sorry I know I talk a lot.”

“No! It’s okay. I thought going to your house it would be all fun and games but now I know it’s more than that. I was ignorant for thinking it wasn’t a big deal.” You said drinking your last sip of your beverage. Setting it down leaning on the table wanting to show compassion towards Jungkook by body language.

“Thanks. I’m glad we had this talk and I could give you another chance.” Jungkook smiles showing his bunny teeth, you couldn’t help but smile back it was addicting.

“Well it’s fairly early but do you want to have a sleepover? This time I won’t be smashing into anyone’s windows.” Jungkook suggests seeing it was a Friday afternoon. You two being in the large city where snacks and arcades were less then a mile away.

“Yeah I would like that.” You both got up from the booth, setting down a 5 dollar bill in tips. Jungkook basically dragged you out of there.

Jungkook breathes in the city air of the very polluted atmosphere. You trying to guess where Jungkook could possibly take you. Jungkook standing proudly holding his backpack around his arm.

“So our first stop is...”

“Donut shop?”

“Nope.”

“Gas station?”

“We are in the city Y/N.”

“Park?”

“Okay, note taken you're not good at guessing games- Our first stop is the bookstore.”

“Oh and you call my options ridiculous!” You shoving Jungkook playfully when he laughs, Jungkook pulled his wallet from his backpack showing that he just got paid.

“Come on! Read one comic with me!” Jungkook teases you, watching you grumble under your breath.

“Just one?”

“Please!”

“Fine.”

The bookstore was filled with the smell of new books. The pleasant scent with the look of smiling Jungkook. He wore a nicely light pink open button up shirt with a white undershirt. The fluffly brown hair that you remembered from the night he slept over, when in the middle of the night you heard his little snores turning to see his hair in the moonlight.

Jungkook showed you many collections naming all of the main characters and the plot line trying to get you to chose one. Of course the describing was filled with body expressions and his sound affects.

“Oh what is this?” You teased pulling up a comic of SpiderMan, Jungkook getting shy asking you to put it back.

“It’s not even right! First they have me date a women, I’m gay!” Jungkook realized what he just said always having the habit of saying things that are personal too quick.

“You’re gay?” You asked, Jungkook rubbing the back of his head seeing you put the comic back to the original place.

“..Yeah.” Jungkook quietly said hoping that you wouldn’t stomp on his poor heart. You pulled him into a hug messing with his hair.

“Me too.” You released the hug, Jungkook had asked if you had something to write with and something to write on. You pulled a napkin from the cafe you two were at earlier.

“Do you think I could come out? As spider-man?”

“Are you ready? I don’t want to force it on you.” You asked while Jungkook took the napkin signing it, you hiding him as best as you could from the cameras so his identity is hidden.

“Spider-man is Gay #pride2019 — spider man himself”

You two walked out of the bookstore giggling like kids. Jungkook holding the comics he bought with the one you chose to read with him. You could feel the bond get tighter every moment with him. You didn’t want to lose him and you’ve only had this day with him, he looked at the world with glowing eyes rather then seeing all the negative even if he sees it all while he’s spider-man.

“I wonder if falling in love with a spider is gay?” You mumbled under your breath while Jungkook spun around wondering what you said.

“Huh?”

“I wonder if facing my fear of... heights. Was a possibility?” You could be lying or you couldn’t, you never really went to the higher buildings of the city due to not being the most famous or successful person. Jungkook held your hands jumping up and down.

“Do you want me to get you up on the buildings?!” Jungkook cheered still holding your hands. They were soft. Jungkook always wanted to take someone to the buildings with him, it was like the picture perfect romantic setting. The starry night, the good-looking guy, and Jungkook getting his first kiss with yo- It was the starry night that was romantic! Not the possibility that you two might kiss, he wants it though. Good god does he want it.

“Yeah, sure.” You nodded, Jungkook realizing how long he’s been holding your hands letting them go shyly.

Jungkook walked with you till he found a secured place to change into his spidersuit. Jungkook changed in front of you really not realizing you were there. You tried to stare everywhere but Jungkook’s toned body. Jungkook finally changed into his suit, asking if you could carry his backpack just in case anyone would recognize it.

Wow you haven’t seen him in his spidersuit in so long but now that he’s stretching in it, testing his webs, and making sure he can climb up the building. You couldn’t look in his eyes which is saddening, you love his brown eyes. Jungkook was way more louder and out-going as spider-man though.

“Okay are you ready?” Jungkook was jumping in place waiting for your okay. You pulled the backpack handles around your shoulders tightening it.

“Ready as I’ll ever be.” You nod, Jungkook pulling you close to his chest wrapping his hand around you. Jungkook could feel his heart race a little quicker not because of the adrenaline of going up this building, it was your head was like not even a feet away from his face. Kissing distance was there and just thinking about it made Jungkook blush.

Jungkook shot his webs pulling you two up the building. You probably shouldn’t look down and even Jungkook warned you about it but curiosity kills you, looking down you widen your eyes. Jungkook noticed it holding you tighter to his chest. Holy shit were you high! It only been like 5 minutes and wow you could see people as ants.

“You okay?” Jungkook said underneath his mask looking up trying to find a faster way up. You laughed like a manic seeing the adrenaline of being so free.

“Yeah! Keep going!” You yelled holding a camera while you told Jungkook to pose, he stopped his web shooting for a minute smiling.

Jungkook two hours ago would never do this with you, never let you take a selfie with him, and would never climb this building with you around him. He’s falling in love which is a unknown subject to him, but he’s going to really fall if he doesn’t stop staring at your eyes.

You two reached the top of the building feeling the strong breeze. You saw Jungkook a bit cold, when he’s on roof tops he’s fighting or chasing after villains but just being on here not moving a muscle the cold got to him. You pulled off your coat wrapping it around him. Jungkook was about to take it off to give it back to you but you stopped him.

“What? You deserve it.”

You two sat down, seeing the starry night of the city. You looked at the billboards seeing many advertisements of water that is way too expensive and clothes that just say one word on it and it suddenly costs 500 dollars. You looked back at Jungkook seeing him enjoy the jacket you let him borrow since it was way bigger than him and you enjoy your coats bigger because for some reason it makes sense to you that they would warm you up more.

Soon enough you saw the twitter trends billboard change instantly seeing #PrideSpiderman and #SpidermanisGay and #Spidergay. You couldn’t help but laugh a little bit, you pointed it for Jungkook to see. Jungkook laughing loudly leaning on you so he doesn’t fall on the concrete.

Jungkook got himself together getting back up from his laughing fit, the first thing he saw your face so close to his. Jungkook took off his mask so you could see him. The blush that is generating, the raw feelings for you, and the tears that are about to come out some from the laughing and others from wanting to kiss you so bad it’s annoying.

“Would it really kill you if we kissed?” Jungkook whispered pressing his forehead to yours. The breath hitches you both exchange realizing there was no way to back out now, you were going to be in his life and in his memories if he decides to not to date you. The city would always remember him of you, that bookstore would always remind him of you, and running and chasing after villains on the rooftop he’ll always blush remembering this day.

“Jungkook you’re going to kill me.” You embrace his face pulling him even closer. Pressing your lips to his, Jungkook felt the most adrenaline in his life with you kissing him. Jungkook closed his eyes letting the strong feelings of love run through his body. You released the kissing session seeing Jungkook still closing his eyes, you flick his forehead just like how he did that faithful night.

“Can we do it again?” Jungkook asks putting himself on your lap. You chuckled pulling him in once more, Jungkook being less nervous about kissing you. It was the prefect sweet harmony and one to always remember.

“I’ve always loved your hands.” Jungkook said while you embraced him, not even minutes later Jungkook realizes just how awkward that sounded.

“Oh god that sounds a lot creepy than I meant it to be.” Jungkook looked down to hide his embarrassment. You lifted his chin making the eye contact once again.

Don’t worry you dork.” You press a kiss on his forehead. 

“How are you going to explain to Namjoon when I come over?”

“Oh I said you were my boyfriend.” Jungkook realizing he did his very own foreshadowing.

“Oh really now?”

“Well, I needed an excuse of why I was gone when I came home at like 7am. Plus I kinda wanted to be your boyfriend at the time and you were kinda running through my head all the time but at the same time I didn’t know if I had feelings for you because like could I even have feelings for you if you knew I was spider-man-“

“Oh I’m doing that thing again.” Jungkook buries his head in your neck whining that he does talk a lot out of no where.

“If you find it annoying, I’ll stop.” Jungkook mumbles wondering when he should get off your lap. You gave him silence but Jungkook took that as “plz get off my lap you weirdo.” Jungkook lifted one leg off of you but before he could get off your lap you pressed him closer to you.

“Y/N?”

“You’re precious, I love your rambles don’t ever change.” Oh god butterflies flew everywhere in his stomach. Jungkook lifting his head, kissing you softly again.

You two arrived at the apparments sharing jokes and stories along the way till Jungkook opened the door, seeing Namjoon sitting on the couch in his pajamas, snacking on carrots. Namjoon waved at Jungkook before noticing you were there.

“Is this your boyfriend Jungkook?” Namjoon asked giving a rather playful face seeing Jungkook frown from the teasing. You held his hand raising it up for Namjoon to see.

“Yup! I’m Y/N, Jungkook’s boyfriend.” You announced offering to shake hands with Namjoon. Namjoon shook hands with you feeling the ferm grip. Jungkook felt the weight off his shoulders not having to worry about that.

“Wait did he just call me his boyfriend? Is that official? Or did he just say that to protect me? Is it okay to marry someone you just started dating?” Jungkook thought while you and Namjoon converse getting to know eachother.

Jungkook decided that it was time to have alone time with you, you exchanging goodnights with Namjoon. You felt Jungkook’s hand lead you to his bedroom. Not as strangers anymore, but as lovers. You couldn’t help but have a giant grin on your face.

“Guys did you hear spider man is gay!? This is a win for the gays!” You two heard from the other side of the door. Namjoon cheering, you looking at Jungkook looking like he was on top of the moon, you pulled him in so you both were laying down on his bed. Sleeping peacefully in eachothers arms not a care in the world wether bad guys existed or good guys, all you needed in your world was Jungkook. It didn’t matter if he was the global superhero spider-man or just a regular nerd that enjoys comics a little too much. You knew he was special.

[cherrymoonvol6]

some avengers endgame Thoughts cause i saw the movie yesterday and can't stop thinking about it

of course..... spoilers ahead

nebula and tony playing!!!! i just love how nebula's personality comes through without it being ooc

also... nebula carefully sitting tony up. she Cares so much :(

steve immediately going to tony :( like im a stucky kind of gal but holy shit i love them

which was completely erased in the next scene where tony drags steve up and down and after that passes out, which is a confrontation Mood

i wonder how they made tony look so skinny and sick. if it was cgi then i applaud them cause it looked so good

the way they killed thanos so fucking quickly here... i don't know how to feel lmao. like cutting the gauntlet arm and then slicing his neck... that's what we were all screaming at them during infinity war. it's good to see them learn from their mistakes, i guess ?

(can't remember the order in which things happen from now so forgive me if i make a mistake)

i told my sister "that's one of the russos!!!!!" so it took me ten seconds to realize that the russo was the gay character everyone was talking about (i thought it would be fury for no other reason than it being shocking and fury having very little to do with the plot, but)

and steve being supportive of that :( man out of time said gay rights!

carol's new hair!! holy shit!!!!!

rocket insinuating carol has been experimenting with more hairstyles... i would like to see it

don't think i missed that carol x rhodey nod. i support it.

don't wanna say it now... for now ill just state: i love what they're doing with natasha in the movie. she truly feels like a friend to steve. like that small gesture of her sliding the plate towards steve is just so domestic and beautiful! it really makes her feel so human and complex at the end. i was so worried about her being wasted but i loved her throughout the film

it was a fucking rat who got scott out. i have to laugh.

also is that the guy from that old "gayyyyy" meme????

cassie is all grown up!!!!!! i can't even imagine how hard it had been for her

also what happened to her mom? and the stepdad??? are they fine????? i hope so

i was hoping we would get more tony as a dad in this movie and it delivered!! tony is so fucking good with kids. the bond between him and morgan was so well portrayed

also the place they live in is so cozy and that's what he deserves

when steve stepped down the car in that black outfit with the leather jacket on i gasped... he's fucking gorgeous

i kept wanting him and tony to kiss lmao tf is wrong with me

OKAY my hawkeye rights. i missed him so much

the stylish subtitles on the middle of the screen felt like too much. this isn't a tumblr gifset honey, just write them down!

thinking about the whole clintasha conversation really foreshadows the whole thing. natasha cares so deeply about clint and really puts his needs before hers. it's so beautiful to see

honestly... my clintasha rights!

i think the hulk/bruce scene was kinda endearing but then the ant man banter dragged on for toooo long

the dab i YELLED. these poor kids have to stand this man on 2023 pulling out 2016 trends to appear Hip and Cool

fat thor...... i hate how it was handled. hate it so fucking much.

new asgard! that's so cute. i hope that's on norway

miek and korg are alive!!!!

the thought of thor insulting a possibly 14 year old on fortnight is too much for me. it sounds like bad fanon talk. i still laughed (bc noobmaster69??? that's fucking hilarious)

tonys reaction to i love you 3000 is so beautiful. like the way he looks taken aback and so happy. i love irondad

steve in a white shirt and jeans!!!! i gasped again. he's delivering, the fucking model

i know they were like, barely being decent to each other again, but i still wanted my stony hug:(

when they're discussing their infinity stones memories and natasha and tony are laying down together on a table???? adorable. amazing.

also why tf didn't nebula said the soul stone required a sacrifice??? i thought that's what she got from gamora dying in volmir

as soon as natasha and clint arrived to volmir i began chanting "nonononononononono"

fuckkdjdksndk fucking nebula. cue to more nononono chanting

rhodey knocking out quill with a single hit is the funniest scene in the movie

clintasha calling on bullshit on the sacrifice thing was also quite funny

the forehead touch :((( im so weak! so sad!

clintasha literally fighting each other to be each other's sacrifice!!!! kill me now!!!!

jeez now i can finally say it: scarjo shined so fucking much on this movie!!!! her delivery was amazing, i really felt a connection between her and the avengers, it really showed her growth during the five year time jump. she fucking killed it. she did her best and she's the best black widow we could've ever gotten.

clint mourning her :((((( probably the third time i cried during the movie

thor's panic attack being used for cheap laughs was the most uncomfortable moment for me... or any scene where people only saw thor as Fat and Lazy (basically, two thirds of the movie)

the freya + thor reunion was so sweet though!

okay. okay. hear me out. tony was on a very serious mission to regain an infinity stone. and the first thing he does is check out steve's ass. and aknowledge how glorious it is. i couldn't believe what i was watching!!!!!! like that actually fucking happened. consider me a fully formed stony bitch.

and scott joining in to say it was "america's ass" ???? poetic cinema

so it's canon that everyone checks out steve's ass and appreciates it as a national treasure. that's all i never thought id needed.

steve saying "hail hydra" i YELLED. it was a nice nod to the whole "cap is a nazi" mess

and steve fighting himself... hot

using his bucky trauma to shock himself is :/// but also :((((

i loved that for one moment i knew everyone on the theatre was staring at steve's ass

and steve being appreciative of his own butt!!!! ok that's all i have to say about steve's ass

i loved the reminder that thor was still kinda goofy back in avengers 1, for everyone who says taika completely changed his character. and the little tony + thor moment was adorable

"howard..... potts" i can understand tony being a mess but how did howard not suspect of anything??? elevator lady took one look of steve's face and all of her alarms started ringing

peggy carter... ive missed my wife so much

did peggy marry souza. i hope she did. steve tf are you doing staring at a married woman (jk)

clint kicking the stones away as soon as bruce is done with the snap is the biggest mood

also... the hell was scott looking at that made him think it had worked? just... more birds outside? i was really curious

the irony of the only avenger without superpowers being left with the stones

"i know you" *hands out stones* how can you not love clint, he's so pure

nebula killing his 2014 self is a power move. that would be me if i met my 2014 self

thor with a braided beard!!!!! beautiful

thanos is like, a real threat and i love that

okay. i kinda saw it coming. i saw thor leave mjolnir behind and i thought "oh????". and then the shock of thanos being able to wield stormbreaker. and then fucking mjolnir moving!!!!! i was the only person in the theatre who yelled

but seriously!!!! steve wielding AND fighting with mjolnir!!!!! couldn't stop thinking about it all day!!!!!!!!! STEVE IS WORTHY!!!!!!!

parallels to thor going for the chest. it never works babies!

and just.... this was steve's moment. steve i-can-do-this-all-day rogers really fighting with every ounce of his body and soul against the most powerful being on earth. justice for him getting knocked after touching thanos for one second in iw!

and steve getting up again! all dirty and wounded!! trembling with exhaustuation and resolution!!! with his broken shield on his arm!!!! just him facing the biggest army of the universe!!!!! so powerful

sorry to destroy this epic moment, but like, okay. people had been reintegrated to life like, twenty minutes before. and i understand that they were all confused and out of place. but sam really needed ALL that time to just... try to communicate with steve????? ok

the "avengers..." *brings mjolnir with one hand while bracing his shield with the other* "assemble" moment was... oh my God. chills all over my body.

that One Moment where steve has stormbreaker on his hand... so fucking hot

the tony and peter reunion holy shit. the hug was everything i needed! like please just hug tony stark for ages

and tony and pepper fighting together!!! that's a power couple right there

i felt it when quill looked at gamora and just... stopped. im so sad his moment was played for laughs when it was obviously such an important moment for his character

thanos was so fucking scared of wanda that he put his own troops at risk to stop her for a little while. strongest avenger right there!

and carol coming back!!!! i was like

i felt so relieved at that point. i was like "yeah thanos is fucking over what's next"

no need to talk about all the women coming together to defend peter :')

thanos getting the gauntlet again... the nonono chanting came back

fucking CAROL trying to stop him. looking at him with such a determined face, like "you can't stop me from stopping you". it was so powerful he had to snatch one stone to stop her

and strange giving him the one finger to tony.... i knew what was coming holy shit. i knew it. they knew it.

tony really proved himself there. it was his best scene on the entire mcu, don't argue with me!!!!!! the way he stood there and took all the power of the stones, unmasked, unaffected, powerful and almighty

"i am... iron man" cue to ugly sobbing

tony knew there was no other way. pepper did, too... she knew exactly what she had to tell him. she was right. tony spent all of these years moved by selfishness first, then fear, then guilt. an endless battle since thanos was on his head. but the war was over. what mattered was that he saved everyone, and he sacrificed himself for everyone. a complete 180° from last movie's ending.... wow

gotta said... peter there felt a little bit out of place for me. i think it would've been more powerful if he didn't say anything, though peter is a teenager, i can get it

his arc with steve felt unfinished, too. i would've liked to see steve's reaction as well, since tony had told him he wanted everyone back and also for his family so survive. but whatever

im not against tony killing thanos instead of gamora and nebula but i would've liked if we saw them react to his death, at least:/ like a little parallel between nebula's reaction at the beginning and the end of endgame

the One stucky interaction here was pulled from cap1 and iw. i feel betrayed

bucky Knew what steve was going to do. i wonder if steve told him before or bucky just sensed it

you can't convince me steve would go back and carelessly dance with peggy knowing his friend is being used like a weapon by hydra and bound to kill tonys parents. nah nah. it all felt wrong

my steggy rights!!!

love that the russos foreshadowed cap!bucky on tws just to give the shield to sam at the end

anyways what the fuck bucky was all steve had but he lived the happiest life without it and left him alone on the 21st century? okay fuck y'all

[littlepsychowonderland]

Old crushes die hard (Time)

Baz:

An after all this time, there he is. Leaning against the bar in a gray suit, laughing. The same laugh, the same moles, the same curls. I just stare at him. He is here, Simon Snow stands five feet away from me, alive, breathing, beautiful and I forget how to function.

“Ty, you’re spacing out.” Anne, my coworker, slightly pushes me, bringing me back to reality. “Just talk to the guy.”, she says and winks. Anne is one of the few people I ever told that I am gay. We were drunk on some party from some guy I didn’t really know and she and I were sitting on the balcony. I was so drunk, all I did was babble, until I started babbling about this dude in my class, who was unfairly hot (coincidentally he also had bronze curls, bur I ignored that). Anne listened to me, fairly drunk herself. Suddenly she sat p straight, pointed a finger at me and yelled “You’re gay.” She was really happy at that time, thought she had figured me out, but I was so shocked, I started crying on the spot. “Shh. It’s ok.”, Anne had said and pulled me into a hug. She was really nice, gave me chocolate and told me she was bisexual herself. “Doesn’t really mater who you love, Ty.”; she said with all her drunken wisdom and I cried eve more.

Since then we kinda became friends and I started opening up more about my sexuality.

Anne was also the one who got me the job at this bar. “It’ll be fun. Working together, all fancy.”, she had said and I couldn’t say no. Anne had the worst puppy eyes. Almost as bad as Mordelia.

Right know she smiled at me knowingly (she knew my type and the exact replica was sitting right there) and wiggled her eyebrows. “Shut up. I can’t talk to him.”, I say and wipe a glass clean. “Why not?”

“No flirting with the customers.”, I remind her. Our chef was really clear about that, almost aggressive. “Oh come on. Your shift is almost over anyway. It won’t hurt.” Anne laughs.

I look at Simon. He is here with a girl I don’t quite see, probably his girlfriend, and a few other people. Then he does something that freezes my body completely. He comes over, in my direction. “Anne.”, I squeal and want to run away. “Na uh.”, she says, “I am taking my break.” Then she steals my cigarettes and is gone. That brat!

And then he is there, all bronze and light, looking at me, the surprise written on his face.

Simon

Baz! It is Baz!

Baz

“Hi, what can I get for you?”, I ask as calmly as possible, but he just points at me, still in shock. “Baz.”, he said and lets his mouth open for a few seconds. “That is my name.” I pretend to be cool, while all my organs are dancing tango. “You’re here.”, he huffs, breathless, “Why are you here?”

“I work here Snow.”, I say. He nods. Seems like he isn’t catching up to reality yet. I know I am not, it is like a weird fever dream. Imagining over and over again how I would meet him again, how I would apologize for everything, how I would flirt, take him back home. And now he is standing here and I am back to being bitter and arrogant.

“You work here?” He was like a parrot. “Yes. So, what can I get you?” If he left quick enough I could pretend it was all another daydream and that he was never here. “Oh, ahh. Yeah I would like a Whiskey, Rum-Coke, a glass of water and some fancy cocktail with a lot of sugar.”, he says looking down at his phone. He probably had typed down the orders of his friend.

“Penny what the fuck?”, he muttered quietly. I couldn’t help but grin and then I remembered that I didn’t have to pretend to hate him, so I let my face relax and chuckled. Simon looked up.

Simon

I think in all these years he was my roommate, all these years we spent together, growing up, I have never seen Baz smile, let alone hear him chuckle. It is breathtaking.

I still can’t quite believe that he is here. It took me some time after graduating to notice that I didn’t really hate Baz and then a few more months to explain the obsessiveness. Actually Penny figured it out. I only noticed that I also liked men and when I told her she just looked at me and nodded. “Explains the whole Baz-thing.”, she said. Even though I threw a defensive tantrum, how she was all wrong, I had to admit, she had found a point. Maybe I did like Baz. (How disturbed is that? Falling in love with someone who wants to kill you?) And maybe that was ok. It wasn’t like I would ever see him again.

But now here he was, hair slicked back, smiling, and all the feelings came rushing back.

“Some sugary cocktail it is.”, Baz says and all I can do is watch him prepare the drinks like I am in a trance.

“Here you go Snow. Don’t fall on the way back.”, he says and smirks. That smirk I recognize. “I won’t.” I pout like a little child. He rolls his eyes, but he is still smiling and I just stare at him for another second.

Baz, not full on hating me, is going to be my death.

Baz

One day I am going to die because of Simon Snow. He looks at me with those blue eyes and I can see every mole I never forgot. I notice him staring, which is not new, he used to do it all the time, to check that I wasn’t plotting. But now it seems different. I watch him struggling with all four drinks. Then I let my head fall down on the wood. What am I doing with my life?  

It takes another thirty minutes of pointless staring, mindless cocktail mixing and confused looks from Anne until Faruk comes and I can finally go home, to hide in my bed.

Simon

Penny is trying to convince to go back to the bar. “Talk to him”, she says with an evil shimmer in her eyes, “I bet you have a shot.”

It takes her half an hour until I am so annoyed, I actually consider it. I look over to the bar. Baz is handing his apron to another dude, the he hugs the girl and leaves. The second he vanishes I jump up. He can’t leave again. Not until I had the time to talk to him, to really get to know him, without a war, without so much pressure on our shoulders. “I’ll be back Pen.”, I whisper in her ear, then I am gone.

Baz

The air is fresh and crisp. It is a cold October. For a second I close my eyes, let my head cool down, relax. “Baz.”, someone says. It’s a voice I will never forget in my whole life.

“Simon.”, I say and open my eyes to see him stand right in front of me, hands in his jeans. He seems cold. “What are you doing here?” I sound harsh. I didn’t mean to be. Simon looks away. Maybe he tries to figure out what he is doing here.

“I wanted to...”, he starts and blushes, “I mean I thought...”

“Spill it out Simon.” He looks at me and blushes even more. Must be the cold. “Wanted to ask if I could have your phone number.”, he says.

He wanted to what? What is this? Am I in a parallel universe?

“Why?”, I ask. This is too confusing and confusing isn’t good. “I dun know. Maybe catch up or something.” Simon mumbles.

“But you hate me?”

“Christ Baz, will you give me your number or not?” He is pulling on his hair. I want to do that, always wanted to. “Sure.”, I say and he hands me his phone. With shaking fingers I type in my number. As I hand him back the phone he smiles. “Gotta go inside.”, he says and waves a little, “It’s freezing.” And with that he is gone.

Baz

“It’s just not fair.”, I complain to Anne. We are sitting in her apartment, studying. By now I told her everything about Simon. As much as you can tell a person when out have to leave out magick and a war. Anne was still laughing at my misery. “I mean you got his number.”, she says, trying to calm down. “Yeah, but now he texts me like a lot. He send me a picture of a dog. Anne, I am gonna die. He is too cute. I feel like I am sixteen again.”

“You’re not sixteen?” Anne laughs again and I groan, letting my head fall on the table.

“Why are you so worried? A cute guy, that you have a crush on texts you and the thing you do is freak out.”

It’s true. I am freaking out. Because there are so many confusing feelings flowing inside my body. Excitement, because he is in my life again, fear, because he is in my life again (and because he is straight, hope, because deep down I hope he is not and that sticky, disgusting love, that I had years of practice to ignore.

But now I can’t anymore, not with him sending me dog pictures.

My phone rings. “Is that loverboy?”, Anne asks, but I ignore her.

It is Simon tho. “Hey Baz, you like maybe wanted to go get a coffee together or something?” He can’t even articulate him when he is texting, bloody moron. “Gladly.” I text back, then start squealing. “What happened?” Anne raises and eyebrow at uncontrollably rolling on the ground. “He asked me to get coffee with him.”

“Uhhh, you got yourself a date.”

I sit up again. “I don’t think it’s a date. I mean he is straight.”

“Baz, you are living in a hetero normative mindset. Has he ever said he is straight? No. Well then he could be anything.”

I don’t argument with her, because Anne always gets so furious arguing about those topics, so I just nod. Maybe she is right, but I highly doubt it.

Simon

Nervously I fiddle with the zipper of my jacket. I am early, like by fifteen inutes. Penny talked me into meeting up wit Baz. “I can’t take you smirking at your phone anymore as if it was a scone. Go get your guy.”, she had said and punched me in the shoulder, a light punch. But she was right, so without further thinking (because that always destroys everything) I asked him for a coffee. Now I wish I had thought this over more.

Ten Minutes later, Baz appears in a black coat and if I see correctly jeans. God damn, he is hot.

“You actually came.”, I say before I can hold myself back. He raises an eyebrow. “Yeah. Did you think I would ditch you?”

“Actually…” I think about it. “Yes.”, I say.

“You’re an idiot, Snow.”, Baz says and enters the little cafe that I picked. It’s a cozy little shop. With wood furniture and cute little mugs as lamps. It reminds me a lot of Ebb. She would have loved this. We choose a table next to the window. Baz takes off his coat. He is wearing a green shirt. He looks amazing. “You’re pretty.” I say without thinking, again. It is weird. In school I would have never done that, I would have never thought that in the first place. I was too focused on him being the villain that I never noticed that he was also a human.

Baz blushes. Never seen him do that before. “Thank you Snow.”

“Simon.”, I say and smile.

“What?” “My name is Simon, not Snow.” He smirks.

“Oh is it, Snow?” He is mocking be. That bastard.

“Well Mr. Pitch if you’re gonna play like that...” I lean back in my chair and pout. He just smiles at me. It’s a pretty smile. I have to look away. “What can I get for you?” Katy, the waitress comes to our table. She smiles at me. “Hi Simon. How are you?” “Good, good. What about you?”

“Stressed but fine.”, she says. I don’t really know her, but we do this little small-talk, since I am here so often. “So for you the apple pie and a cream latte I guess?”, she asks and I nod. “And for you?”, she says and look at Baz. I can see the realization in her eyes and I want to slap her. Yes Baz is gorgeous, but she has no right to stare at him.

“You did it all the time.”, the little Penny in my head says. But that was different, I lie back and then Katy is gone. “This is a really nice place.”, Baz says and looks around.  “Isn’t it?” I am a little proud. Before we came here I was really scared he wouldn’t like it.

“So Simon.”, he says. He said my name. It makes me feel all fuzzy inside. “You live together with Penny, if I remember that correctly?”  

“Yes, we have a little flat not far from here.” I say and ask him about his living situation. When we texted it was mostly me talking and him commenting. But now he tells me about his university, his aunt Fiona, his job at the bar. So much about him I know, his expressions, when he doesn’t like something, when he is passionate about something, I studied him for years. But there are also new things about him. He is nicer, way nicer. I quite like it.

“Anne lives near me so we hand out a lot.”, he ends his story.

“Is she your girlfriend?”, I ask and feel the pinch of jealousy. He looks at me baffled and then laughs. “No, no she is not. Simon I am gay.” His eyes are stormy pools and I could drown in them. “Oh.”, I say and smile. “I never knew.”

“Yeah, I was very good at hiding things.”, he says, a hint of bitterness in his voice.

“Not the whole vampire thing.” I smirk and he grins back.

“You could never proof it.”

“But I always knew.” We bicker back and forth, share the apple pie and Baz brings me home.

Kiss me, I say in my mind, but he just smiles at me, for a second longer, waves and leaves. I should have kissed him.

Baz

The next time I see Simon is in the opera. Fiona got two tickets from her now ex-boyfriend and she gave them too me. Anne slapped me when I invited her. “Go with loverboy.”, she said and I thought it was ridiculous. But then I asked, and he said yes and now we are sitting in one of the prettiest operas of England.

The play is really good. I had seen another version of it last spring, but this is way better. During the second act I can feel Simon’s finger next to mine. My breath hitches, but I interlock our pinkies and then he takes my hand. Surprised I look at him, but his eyes are fixated on the stage. I can see him smiling tho.

We walk home together. Simon is really exited about the play and talks about it the whole way, on my side, I can only concentrate on my hand in his.

“Thanks for taking me.”, Simon says and smiles. I should kiss him. Last time I missed my chance. I should really kiss him.

And then he kisses me.

Simon

It’s a good kiss. It’s a really good kiss. His lips are pleasantly cool. He is sightly pushing my, So I push back. I can feel his pulse. It’s hard to think.

Baz

I am kissing the chosen one.

No he is not the chosen one.

He is a boy.

A boy I had a crush on for years now.

He is Simon Snow.

I am kissing Simon.

Simon

Aleister Crowley I live a charmed life.

Baz

Simon is doing a thing with his chin. It feels so nice.

Simon

Breathlessly we break apart. He smiles. “You wanna come upstairs?”, I ask still panting. “I would love to.”, Baz says.

[externally-upset]

1-100

Alright going all in I see. Let's do this

1. I mainly use Spotify

2. I try and keep it clean but somehow always winds up messy

3. I've got brown eyes

4. y'know I've got a really generic name but I do like it. Why, I have no idea

5. I'm currently single

6. Scatterbrained, happy, adventurous

7. I've got natural black hair

8. So I don't drive because it actually hurts my leg to drive. Also I can't sit still for longer than 5 minutes

9. I shop everywhere that has toys lmao. I'm a toy collector so I'll go anywhere that has em

10. I don't really have a style. I try and live my life as cozy as possible

11. I don't really have a favorite social media account

12. I have a full/queen size bed

13. I've got lots of siblings. In all, I've got 6 sisters and 2 brothers, but some are step family. I've got 1 bio sister and 1 bio brother, both younger than me.

14. I've been looking into moving to Washington recently, but I think I'd rather travel the world than settle down somewhere, for now at least

15. I don't use the filters myself so I can't speak on that

16. I don't use makeup so I don't have a fave brand to talk about

17. I shower everyday, I get really sweaty so I gotta

18. I don't have like a definite fave TV show. It varies from month to month. Although this summer it was Nisekoi, which is an excellent anime

19. I wear a size 11.5/12 shoe

20. I'm 5'11

21. I wear almost strictly sneakers

22. I don't go to the gym, I should though. I really should

23. Dream date would be to have one lol, um I guess to go up to the mountains together and star gaze or something to do with the mountains. I just enjoy being outside

24. Too much to count 💸💸 lmao jk I've got $60

25. Ain't wearing any but if someone came through right now, I'd put some black ones on

26. I had four, but my mom stole 2 of them

27. I was working in drywall for awhile but I hopped out of that and am currently applying to places. I specifically was a taper, so like when drywall is put up in the house, there are gaps between the pieces put up. I covered those gaps up, all over the house. It doesn't seem like a lot but when you've got 15-20 feet ceilings, it gets hard

28. I've got quite a lot of friends and I love them all

29. I've know I've done bad stuff that others remember me for but I can't think of anything

30. Oh man I loooooove lavender scented candles. Lavender scented anything is the best

31. I honestly can't think of any boy names that I like

32. 3 girl names: Sochi, Lavender, and Laurie, which is actually the name of one of my best friends

33. Anthony Hopkins is my favorite actor by far

34. Fave actress is definitely Meryl Streep, I fell in love with her when I first saw the Devil Wears Prada years ago and it just snowballed from there

35. My celeb crush is either Bonnie Wright or Jessica Keenan Wynn

36. Fave movie has gotta be The Great Mouse Detective

37. I used to read a lot, not so much anymore. Of everything I've read though, Christine by Stephen King has been my favorite read

38. Everyone wants to say brains are more important and they are, but unfortunately in the world we live in money rules over all

39. I used to be called Chancho but not any more

40. I've been to the hospital more times than I'd like to think. I had a heart condition that flared up in high school so I spent a lot of time at the hospital. I'm still not even sure what it was and am sure the doctors made it up to take my money

41. TOP TEN SONGS:

Beauty and the Beast - Angela Lansbury

Beauty and the Beast - Celine Dion, Peabo Bryson

Higher - Creed

Eres Mi Droga - Intocable

Crossing Field - LiSA

Don't Blink - Kenny Chesney

Junkhead - Alice In Chains

Your Decision - Alice In Chains

Losing A Whole Year - Third Eye Blind

Forever Halloween - The Maine

42. Nah, no meds for me

43. I think I have an oily skin type

44. Biggest fear is leaving those I love behind when I pass along to the next life

45. I don't know how many kids I want

46. I always have my hair either in a bun or braided

47. I live in a medium sized family home

48. My grandma has been and always will be my role model

49. It was being told how wise I am

50. Last text I sent was to my homeboy, telling him "this school shit is wack"

51. I was 6 years old when I found out Santa wasn't real

52. A nice Truck is my dream car or maybe a souped up Subaru, with an anime wrap for shits and gigs

53. I'm cool with smoking weed, but no cigarettes and only smoke outside, don't need my stuff to smell

54. Yeah, I'm here in college, but I don't like it

55. Rural areas by far. I've always wanted my own farm

56. I wanna be a high school history teacher and that requires a degree, so that's why I'm in college

57. I don't like the shampoo and conditioner from hotels, don't like the way they feel. That being said, yes I'll take them

58. I've got freckles but you can barely see them unless were face to face

59. Yes and no. It really depends on my mood. I try to take more smiling pictures now

60. I've got quite a few, mostly memes though

61. Of course I've peed in the woods, with the amount of times I've been hiking and camping with no bathroom in site, you gotta

62. I watch almost strictly cartoons, if we're being completely honest

63. Chicken nuggets smack, no matter where they're from

64. If it calls for it, honey. If not, then sweet and sour sauce

65. Alright, so it depends where I'm at. If I'm home alone, just my underwear. If there are people here, shorts. If I'm at someone else's house, I wear whatever I have on

66. Never participated in a spelling bee in my life

67. My hobby is collecting. I've been collecting things since I was a kid. I've switched between many things in my life. I've gone from Wrestling figures, to sports cards, to vinyl records, to Funko Pops. I actually collect a little of everything I've mentioned now

68. I can't draw for shit

69. I don't play any instruments, although I've tried learning how to play the Ukulele

70. Last concert was seeing Four Year Strong and Seaway like 2 years ago

71. I prefer tea over coffee

72. I guess Starbucks as I've never had Dunkin before

73. Marriage sounds nice, but I don't need to. Like if I'm dating someone and they said they don't wanna get married, I wouldn't have a problem with it. As long as we're in love, that's all that matters

74. Aha, I'm not answering this one

75. If ever I get married, I don't know what the last name situation is gonna be

76. Burgundy and blue look absolutely fantastic on me

77. Yeah there are a few people I miss

78. I always sleep with my door closed and my closets too

79. I belive in ghosts, although I prefer to call them spirits. Used to see them frequently as a child, still do sometimes

80. Biggest pet peeve is when people try to tell me what to do. Not like suggestions but actually tell me what to do. Irritates me to no end

81. Last person I called I think was my Dad, but that's because I couldn't find him in the store

82. Black Cherry Vanilla is the best but no one sells it anywhere

83. Golden Oreos are pretty damn good so I'll go with those

84. If I have to choose, probably rainbow sprinkles

85. Just a plain white tank top

86. My phone background is a picture of Ricky from Trailer Park Boys saying "Man, maybe I am gay."

87. I can be outgoing, it kinda takes a bit for me to open up though

88. I fucking love when people play with my hair

89. My neighbors across the street are very nice, but next door neighbor is a dick, always judging shit

90. I usually wash my face in the mornings

91. I used to get high a lot, not so much anymore, although I'd really like for that to change

92. I spent a good portion of this year drunk, so that's a problem. I actually only started drinking when I turned 21 last September. Never been hungover either, so I've been blessed

93. Last thing I ate was some chips

94. "Thank you to the miracle that we are able to meet in a dirty and ugly world, even like this" My Song - Girl Dead Monster. This is from Angel Beats and these are rough English translations

95. I prefer winter over summer, but spring is my fave season

96. I love night time, always will

97. I will always pick dark chocolate over all other chocolates

98. September is my favorite month, not because it's my birth month, but it's the one month where everything feels right

99. I'm a Virgo

100. Last person I cried in front of was my homeboy Mason, albeit I was drunk as fuck and don't remember it but he does. Says I scared him

Goddamn that took forever, but I did get over being bored, so bless you Anon

[chokefriends]

Pit-town Strays, ch.2

Kidlaw softness and redneck shenanigans in a northern mining town. Everything’s fucked but whatever.

Rated T, no big warnings. Ch 2: The boys hang out some more, they are stupid baby dorks and nothing happens, thanks for coming by.

Ch. 1 - [Ch. 2] - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4 - Ch. 5

Read on Ao3 too, I’m Ossicle

Bellamy arrived back from partying just as Law was on his way out the next morning.

“So can I have the fucking car then?” Law asked, not holding out much hope.

His bull-necked brother eyed him with wary hostility. “You’re a fucking gay,” he accused Law.

“I can also drive.”

“Shut up. I bet you're not actually, though. You're just tryna make people think you're special.”

Law snorted. “Bellamy, obviously I'm ‘a’ fucking gay.”

“No,” he denied it doggedly. “I'm your brother, I'd know already.”

“Dellinger, help us out here, buddy,” Law summoned their youngest brother, who was just then coming down the stairs with a pop-tart sandwich and his guppy jar. He was wearing a wetsuit, for some arcane reason.

“He's too young to hear about that stuff,” Bellamy warned off Law under his breath.

Law ignored this and addressed Dellinger. “Deli-man: Am I, in your estimation, fucking gay.”

“Uhhh, obviously you're fucking gay?” Dellinger rolled his eyes with all the snotty certainty of a thirteen-year-old boy.

“See?” Law raised his eyebrows at Bellamy.

“Pff. Every punk seventh-grader says that about literally everything,” Bellamy pointed out, fairly. “Last week he said gym shoes were gay.”

“Gym shoes are very gay,” Law confirmed.

“Not gay as Law’s gay self, though.” Dellinger met Law's fist bump with the guppy jar and went to claim the cozy recliner spot for his Shark Week marathon. Of their parents’ two biological sons, Law was definitely closer with this little blond weirdo.

Bellamy grouched, “Dellinger, turn that off, don't you got school?”

“Uhhh, it's summer?” the squeaky brat reminded him. “Law's only in school cuz he's a gay, gay nerd.”

Law covered his smile and went away up the stairs.

Bellamy's scowl deepened. He followed Law, accusing him, “You been keeping stuff from me. I’m your brother.”

“Why the fuck would I tell you shit. Thought you’d have figured it out already, anyway… I only been dating guys since I was like, fourteen.” Law rolled his eyes even more heavily than Dellinger had.

Bellamy stood there and glared for a full minute as Law tried to relace his sneakers with the remaining strand of snapped shoelace.

“...does Dad know?”

Law hesitated at the question, and looked over his shoulder reflexively, though he knew their father was gone on a business trip. He shrugged in response, confidence blown.

His ornery brother hissed suddenly, “This is fucked up. I'm not getting involved in any of this sick shit. Got that? Don't bring home any more Pit-town meth head tricks, I'll fucking kill em!”

“Where the fuck are you going? Gimme the keys,” Law complained.

“No, I gotta use the car today!” Bellamy stormed off.

---

Fucking pointless drama. Law shook it off and messaged Kidd with an ETA, then went to the highway to hitch a ride again. He'd forgotten all about the morning’s tense exchange by the time he'd made his way over and climbed the same bare rock outcropping as the day before. Kidd, the bike, and the Pit were all waiting below.

“The whole place is on high Goose Alert,” Kidd grinned. “Kevin is unavailable for comment.”

Law laughed and swung his leg over the back of the black-painted motorcycle. They roared through the village to Kidd's place in the far corner of the grid, past pursuing dogs and staring neighbors but no geese. Much better way to see the place, Law thought, dismounting in the driveway. Getting a little feel of Kidd's tight physique had been a bonus.

He followed Kidd up the step, where the little pink bike was once again lying in the way.

“Oh hey, you went and throat-punched the bike-thieves’ dad already?” Law joked.

“Oh, yeah, heh, stopped by his place last night. Guy tried to fucking sell it back to me, you believe that? Barely past check day and he's tryna scam people… Fucking drunk. Had to knock him out and give his kids a chicken bucket to show me where it was.” Kidd stepped over the bike and tried the door. Locked. He jiggled it and tried again.

Law frowned. “Okay? That's… good. Good job.”

“Yeah, chicken works. Nami! Open the fucking door! NAMI.”

A pouting little face was pressed against the window over to their left, watching them and not budging.

“Shoulda got chicken,” Law suggested.

Kidd growled in irritation. “God, it's always gotta be something. Every fucking time she figures out I'm going somewhere for the day… Nami, I gotta get to work! And look: Law's here!”

Nami's pout deepened.

“I can just get the door,” Law offered, reaching into his pocket for a card to jimmy it.

“Nah it's fine, I got it…” Kidd drove his boot into the door in an angry burst and it swung open. He stomped inside.

“Uh,” Law looked at the splintered bolt slot. No wonder there was no stop left.

“I'll fix it later. Nami: c’mere.” Kidd shouldered the duffel bag that was waiting on the hall floor, and then squatted down to call his sister over to him. “C'mon, gimme a kiss, I'll be back really soon.”

She kept her face stuck to the window, blowing clouds onto the glass and drawing shapes in them.

He sighed and went over to plant a kiss on the top of her head anyway, and she made an angry sound but kept ignoring him. “Don’t be like that. I'll be home before you go to sleep this time, okay? Babygirl?”

Her face stayed stuck to the glass.

“Nami.”

“Best not to draw it out, right?” Law suggested.

“... … …Yeah.” Kidd waited a moment longer, but Nami was set on being mad. He stood with a scoff.

“We’re good,” Law assured him, “And I'll text if there's something.”

“Kay, yeah. Bye.”

Kidd left abruptly.

Law frowned after him. Outside, the bike roared to life and then faded into a distant hum. Law went to close the open front door, bringing the bike inside as an afterthought. Nami was wiping away all her window-fog designs when he came back. She looked at him warily.

Law held out his hands. “Hey, witchygirl! I said I'd come back, right?”

She didn't reply. She walked around the far side of the room and then past him. In the kitchen, she took a box of Sugarbombs from the cupboard and then sat at the table, waiting.

“...Want cereal?” Law asked.

“Yah,” she huffed.

Law got her a bowl and blue plastic spoon and got her all set up. He sat down with a sigh as she dug in.

“Nami, can you say ‘thank you?’”

“Ya.” She kept chewing.

Law stifled a laugh at this. Law's father would have given her a real quick correction if she'd tried that in his presence. And Law probably shouldn't encourage her sass, but hey. He looked around and his eyes fell on his Stats assignment, forgotten there the previous night.

It was finished.

“Holy, what??” Law looked it all the way through, and then again. He studied the formulas, rubbing his temple. “How… do you even…? Ughhh.”

He looked up when Nami heaved a heavy little sigh of her own. She was watching him, imitating his concerned slouch and terse sounds.

“Hi,” she finally acknowledged him.

“Hi, Nami. We cool?”

“Ya,” she decided. “You can haves some cereal too.”

“No, thanks, not my favorite,” Law went back to decoding the paper.

“It is, it is not what witches can eat?” she wondered.

“Witches can eat what they want,” he told her distractedly.

A few moments later Law looked up to find her gone, and he had to run before she tried eating something bad. He found her in the bathroom, selecting cleaning supplies from the cupboard. He diverted her to coloring at the table, and spent the next hour organizing the bathroom and sorting the cleaning stuff into a high place.

The day went on much the same as before, Law alternating between coursework, cleaning and Nami management, while Nami went about her witchness. By the time it got dark, though, she was whining at the window and trying to break small things of Kidd's. Law took a guitar tuner away from her and she had a full-on meltdown. Law was starting to watch out the window too, wondering if he should text Kidd for an ETA… The guy had said he'd be back before dark this time, right? Law finally convinced Nami to lie down and watch Toy Story, but she would only stay put if he sat where she could see both him and the TV.

It was past 11pm again by the time Kidd came through the door. Nami got up and went to peek around the corner at him, but ran back to bed when he tried to get her to hug him.

“Girl, what the fuck,” Kidd grumbled.

“She's been waiting a while, I guess,” Law suggested.

“Yeah well. If I get offered a few extra hours at rate, I'm gonna take em.” The big redhead kicked off his boots and headed for the kitchen.

Law looked over at the little blanket lump, but it wasn't budging, so he followed Kidd.

“Didn’t get to the sushi place this time,” Kidd apologized.

“It’s cool, takeout every night gets expensive. I made this soup thing, there was leftover chicken in the fridge.” Law pointed to the pot on the stove and Kidd went to look.

“Oh sweet, like from scratch?”

“Yup.”

“Whoa, lookit that. Fancy brown stuff…” He made himself a bowl and sat back at the table.

“That’s what they call me,” Law joked to himself.

“Huh?” Kidd paused, spoon in hand.

“Oh I was just… talking to myself, uh… n-nevermind. Didn’t expect you to be listening.”

“Well I’m right here. Anyway, hey, I got these,” Kidd fished in his bag and threw Law a can. Hard lemonade.

“Hah, thanks…?” Law was cautiously grateful. He cracked it and took a sip—hmm, not bad. Not bready, anyway.

There was the quiet sound of bare feet from down the hall.

“There she is,” Kidd lifted his arm to find a sleepy Nami hugging his waist. “Yeah, hi. Good girl. Go the fuck to bed.”

He gave her a kiss and a coin, and she padded off again.

Law took a long drink from his can. “Soooo uh, I was gonna ask. You did that Stats sheet I left?”

“Um. Guess so…”

He was treated to one of Kidd's full face-and-neck blushes again. The unfortunate paleface ducked his head and concentrated on his bowl.

Law stretched and pretended to be fascinated by the ceiling light. “I was just gonna ask ya—”

“I was just bored or whatever,” Kidd told his soup.

“Yeah, but I don't know anybody else who just does math when they're bored,” Law wryly addressed the ceiling.

“Not trying to show you up or whatever. It's probably wrong. You can just erase it.”

Law snuck a glance over to see that the blush had safely passed. “Yeah but actually maybe you could show me what, um. When you… Like, which. How.”

“...Oh, yeah? Really? What part.”

“Most parts…” Law admitted.

Kidd laughed again, startlingly loud. Law jumped a little but laughed too.

“If you want,” Kidd grinned, pleased.

Law scraped his chair up next to Kidd's. They studied the offensive bit of paper for an hour, grabbing the pencil back and forth and talking overtop of each other. It didn't take long for Law to grasp the concept, but he let Kidd take him through a few more examples. They were getting louder and messier as the cans disappeared, and pretty soon the lesson was forgotten.

“But what if I take the p-value, and divide it by its own ass.” Law held two pencils like chopsticks and drew a little asterix, earning an ear-splitting guffaw from Kidd.

“Sshhh, sleeping baby!” he shushed Law in a whisper-shout, still laughing.

“You're the one screeching!”

“Not even!”

An irate Nami appeared in the doorway. “SHUT THA FUCK.”

They both looked over at her in alarm, then burst out laughing even harder. Nami's scowl deepened, and she came over to swat her brother as he held up his hands in defense.

“Holy shit Nami, okay okay, hahaaa…”

“Kidd! You come put me a bed!” Nami ordered.

“I will after, I have to take Law home first.” Kidd sat her on his lap and looked over at the oven clock. One in the morning.

“Oh shit…” Law checked his phone. No messages from his father, but one from Bellamy.

Dad's home, was all it said.

He ask where I am? Law texted back, and waited anxiously.

“Unless, uhh, you wanna crash?” Kidd mumbled to Law with a cough.

Law scrolled through his messages another couple times. “I don't really wanna get in a crash, no… I guess you've had a few drinks, eh.”

“Nono, I mean like, crash here.”

“Oh!” Law looked up from his texting. “Like sleep here. With you.”

“On the couch,” Kidd clarified, cheeks flaring up again.

“Well…” Law considered his phone.

“Or I can take you home on the bike. It's fine, I ride it around all blasted all the time, haha. But I only had a few this time.”

That was not super reassuring, Law reflected. He fiddled with the little bear dangle on his phone case. A strident bzz-bzz, and Bellamy's reply popped up:

No he just went to bed…

Law breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe he could play it off like he'd come home late and gone back out again early, if his father asked.

“Yeah I'll stay,” he decided.

“Awesome!” Kidd gathered up Nami and made his way down the hall. He got a sheet out of the dryer and an extra blanket from a stack, then headed to the living room to make up the couch. Nami hung around his shoulders, over-tired and whining.

“I’m sharing with you tonight, Tinygirl,” he told her.

“You're not taking the big bed?” Law wondered.

“That's Dad's room.”

This seemed like all Kidd was gonna say on that topic, so Law let it go for now. Weird but whatever.

Kidd shucked off his outer layers and got into the little single bed on the floor, shoving aside all the furry little pillows. His feet hung off the end. Nami settled in under his arm with much squirming and fussing. Law laid himself out on the couch, still fully clothed in the stuffy room.

“You want some shorts to sleep in?” Kidd offered.

“Nah I'm good.”

“H’okay…” Kidd was probably thinking, weird but whatever.

“You working tomorrow?” Law asked.

“Yeah. But after that, it depends on when they need me.”

“Okay, I'll be around tomorrow, but Thursdays and Fridays I have class, so I can't come by til later.”

“We'll figure it out,” Kidd waved it off. “Worst case, I find another unlicensed daycare some yoga-pants MILF is running in her shed. Pit-town is good for those.”

Law snort-laughed into his pillow. “MILF-town! So where's the DILFs?”

“Well they sure as fuck ain't here,” Kidd muttered.

“What, no D's you'd like to F?” Law teased. A furry blue pillow flew at him.

“God no. No one wants to F these D's. The M's just do it for the B's, which stands for Baby Bonus.”

“Oooo… harsh.”

“True though,” Kidd chuckled darkly. “Not that I blame em. Baby bonus is about all the income to be had around here if you're non-union.”

“Huh…” Law was about to ask what Kidd had found, job-wise, but Nami interrupted to let them know she was asleep.

“I ASLEEP.”

“Okay,” Kidd whispered. “I guess me too.”

“Hey Kidd,” Law whispered. “You’re basically like Nami's dad, right?”

“...yeah. More than our actual dad is, anyway.”

“So,” Law struggled to keep his voice even. “You're one.”

“One what?”

“The one and only, the lone DILF of Pit-town.” Law stuffed his face into the pillow to muffle his giggling fit. There was no response and he looked over with a wicked grin to see that Kidd had pulled the blanket over his face. Probably blushing.

“You hiding?”

“Shut up… I'm asleep.”

Law chuckled quietly to himself and watched the odd pair on the floor. They were both out in a matter of minutes once they'd settled down. Kidd looked even bigger when he was trying to fit into a small space, with tiny Nami tucked between his side and arm. His protruding brow stayed creased, even while asleep, but the sarcasm had lifted from his lips. He looked worried.

Law settled down too, and scrolled aimlessly through his phone until it slipped out of his hand and he fell asleep without realizing.

[silvergrimoire97]

Chapter 1

You open the door to the strong aroma of coffee. The smell jolts your brain into reality and you take out your gold Starbucks rewards card.

‘The usual Y/N?” Hoseok asks you’ve been coming here ever since Freshman year of college.

“Yep, today is the calm before the storm.”

“Which final has your panties in a twist?” he wiggles his eyebrows as he swipes your card.

“The MCAT, I need to get at least a 520 to get a good shot into Seoul National University med program, and I got a 518 on my last practice, so my mind is buzzing with frustration on those two problems.”

“Well saying that you're already going to SNU for a master I think you have a good shot.” He winks at you as you grab your cup of coffee.

Just before you leave a wall of hard muscle bumps into you.

“Whoa!” You steady your coffee before looking up at the person who has a firm grip on your arms.

“Watch where you’re going,” his low voice huffs.

“Sorry?” You reply with a slight bite in your tone before walking around him and out into the busy street. But before the door closes behind you, a faint call tells you to stop. You ignore it and continue walking to the bus stop.

You grab onto one of the dangling handles in the bus as you sip your coffee. You stare out the window, watching the busy streets go by in a blur as you head to university.

The bus comes to a slow stop and you hustle out with all the other students as you head to your 8 am class. As you walk towards the lecture hall someone slings their arm around your shoulders. You stumble a little but look to see it was Taetae.

“Who pissed in your cornflakes today?” he jokes.

Ah, your best friend since junior year of high school. Tae also wanted to be in the medical field, but his dream is to become a pediatric surgeon since he loves kids so much. You, on the other hand, have no patience for such things because they are mere burdens to take care of.

You raise an eyebrow at his question.

“Please, you had a resting bitch face on which only meant that in the two hours that it took for you to come here, something went wrong. So?”

He knew you like the back of his own hand and you always saw him as an older brother, you both tried kissing to see if things could get farther, but it was merely teen hormones messing with your friendship. As sexy and hot Taehyung was, both of you knew that your relationship was just a protective platonic older brother-sister relationship. So sometimes people thought you two were acting too cozy, but that’s only because you had no boundaries.

“I ran into a jerk leaving Starbucks and his rude attitude got on my nerves.” You explain before taking a sip of your coffee.

“Really? Could it be because you were too busy gazing after Hoseok that you weren’t looking where you were going?” He wiggles both of his eyebrows at you.

“Oh shut up, you know that I would never date Hoseokie, I just admire him from afar, like a celebrity crush. You know that they will never be with you, but you still love them to your heart’s content.” You look up to see him give you a pointed look. “Well besides that, the sheer annoyance in his voice just ticked me off, as if I stained his 200 dollar Gucci tie or something. By the way, I didn’t spill my coffee, so it was a win-win situation sort of.” You puff your chest at the last sentence because people usually spilled theirs, but you didn’t because surgeons have to have steady hands.

“My oh my, could this be a new love interest?” he swoons.

You sigh with longing as you stare up into Tae’s big chocolate brown eyes, how you wish they could be yours, but all the same, you didn’t because you couldn’t force anything.

“I love you,” you blurt out, to gauge any emotion from him.

Without missing a beat he responds with, “I love you too sis.” He smirks knowing that we both had no chance with each other. Some people would think that he’s gay, but he isn’t.  I just happen to be his long lost twin and we understand each other in an unspoken way.

“You know what if this rich guy is a secret gangster who makes his money off of killing people? I would be dating a murder and then you’ll never see me again.” I pout up at him.

“Well, it was nice knowing you Y/N.” He salutes as the two of you head into your premed course.

One lecture and three classes later…….

You and Taehyung head to the library and as you set up the little wall of books, Taehyung pulls out two bowls Jajangmyeon. The librarians would kill us if they found out that we bought food that can stain the precious pages of the books. You usually studied with Taehyung at the library because it was quieter and there was an actual sizable desk to spread out all your textbooks and notebooks.

You take out your pencil pouch along with your laptop to type up the notes rather than hand write them. You highlight in the textbook since you got a full ride scholarship to university having worked your ass off since elementary school spending everyday in the library reading anatomy books. Taehyung on the other hand printed out the entire textbook one night when he snuck into the teacher’s lounge and decided to use the free ink and paper. To make the story short, he came back with a gleam in his eyes and his cheeks were flushed from physical exertion.

You begin skimming over your lecture notes and working on the assignment and paper at hand while Taehyung looks like he’s texting Jimin to find out what time is the party' this weekend. Tae somehow managed to keep a 4.0 GPA while also getting slam dunk drunk every other Friday. How you don’t know, but you are somewhat envious of his hidden brain. Of course, you were smarter than him since those long hours crying in the library weren’t for nothing.

“The party starts at 10 so I’ll be gone from 10:30 till noon the next day, so while that is happening and I’m getting laid, go call that Yoongi guy up and go out on a date with him,” Tae says over a mouthful of noodles.

“How about no because we have a quiz coming up and that quiz also has bonus points on it so it won’t hurt to study a little.” You remind him as you highlight a section that was a little confusing.

“Or maybe you can quit your dry spell and have some fun in your life since being a doctor also means to have creativity. You gotta think outside the of the box when you’re faced with a challenging case.” Tae says as he sketches out the surgery that you had trouble remembering.

He was always a visual learner and it helped since he drew badass diagrams for you to help study with. While he drew you filled in the picture with words, which made you two the ideal study buddies.

You and Taehyung spend the rest of the night studying at the library and finally leave when the librarians kick you two out. You slide into Tae’s car and the smell of coke and popcorn greets you. Tae’s parents are well off, but to an extent Tae survives off of his allowance. Not needing to work a single day in his life. Well he did become a lifeguard with you because he wanted to show off his body and get a good tan, plus him being the perv that he is, there were people in bikinis all the time at the pool, so there was that reason too.

Tae drives his matte black Porsche back to your luxury studio apartment that Taehyung’s parent spay for. You’re like the daughter they never had, so you don’t feel that guilty that you freeload off of them.

You look at your phone and realize that Friday is two days away and maybe you should give that person a call just because. Maybe he won’t answer and if he doesn’t then fate has spoken. Yeah, you will give him one chance and one chance only.

Throwing your backpack on your bed, you take out today’s books and replace them with tomorrow’s, but it’s only a couple since you have two lecture and one philosophy class that you decided to take just for fun. After making sure you’re prepared for tomorrow you head into the shower and grab your pajamas, which is just one of Tae’s shirts since their the perfect length of covering your ass, and big enough not to show your perky nipples.

After showering and washing up you holler goodnight to Tae and he does the same before you close your lights and wall asleep.

RRIIIINNNGGGG

The alarm blares in your eardrums and curses out as you hit the off button. Rolling out of bed and waddling over to the bathroom to wash your face and do your daily skin routine that takes about five minutes since it’s just toner, moisturizer, and sunscreen. QUite basic for people in Korea. You walk out the door and don’t bother to lock it because of the fingerprint lock.

You walk the one block to Starbucks and stand in line for your usual order.

“Good morning.” Hoseok flashes his sunshine smile.

“Ah,” you grunt out as you hand him your card.

“No, it’s on the man that you ran into yesterday.” Hoseok winks.

“Well then, I’ll pay for his order and tell him that I call it even.” I sigh.

“Someone has her panties in a twist.” Hoseok frowns.

“Well, you don’t have a sugar daddy making moves on you.” You deadpan.

“Well, that sugar daddy said to give you this.” He slides a receipt across the counter and on it reads a phone number and the sugar daddy’s name.

882- 576-8765

Call me, Min Yoongi

You give an amused smile and thank him for the drink before crumpling the receipt and tossing it into the trash can.

Little did you know that someone in the corner saw you throw away his number and his eyes glinted with an emotion he hasn’t felt in a while.

You walk to the lecture wall and set up as your little desk as you prepare for a two-hour lecture, fun.

After what seems like forever your phone vibrates and you see an unknown number pop up with a text.

Unknown id: Friday night I’ll pick you up at 8

Y/N: Buy me a dress, shoes, and clutch, what is the dress code?

Unknown id: Formal so wear makeup and don’t look like trash

Y/N: Wow thanks for the compliment :)

Unknown id: Don’t be late or else I’ll murder you in your sleep

Y/N: huh, I was right. You are a murder. Do I need to send my address or do you already know where I live?

Unknown id: I already know where you live since I followed you home once, but don’t worry I’ll sprinkle your ashes down a river if you want ;)

You smirk and save the number as Yoongi.

The day goes by and you flop onto the sofa as you soak in the peace and quiet since Taehyung is at his night class doodling the time away. You don’t particularly miss him because he’s always screaming into his headset playing Overwatch.

After a couple minutes of looking up at the ceiling, you sigh as you go and make yourself cereal for dinner. Pouting yourself a generous amount of Frosted Flakes the doorbell rings and you walk over unsure who it could be. You weren’t expecting a package of any sort and Taehyung has his fingerprints in the system. But as you turn the door handled it dawns on you that it was probably Yoongi sending over your outfit. You open the door and a guy who is a couple inches taller than you with a small smile hands you over a large white box tied with a blood red ribbon. You thank him with a smile and wonder if you can hook up with him instead of Yoongi.

Your phone buzzes in the back of your pocket and you see Yoongi flash on the screen.

Yoongi: Did you get your very expensive outfit that you had me buy for you

Y/N: I did not force you to buy it only strongly suggested and thank you I did get it. You really did stalk me and get my address

Yoongi: you think I was kidding?

Y/N: Yes because I didn’t think you were creepy

Yoongi: I was merely making sure that you weren't some criminal living in a dump. By the way, you seem pretty rich yourself.

Y/N: I suck off of my rich boyfriend Taetae and maybe I’ll cheat on him with that delivery boy you sent over.

Yoongi: well I may just have to kill him then along with your boyfriend

Y/N: So I’ll be going out with a serial killer??!!

Yoongi: Don’t worry it’ll be painless

Y/N: The date is tomorrow so I have one last day of freedom

Yoongi: Freedom?

Y/N: Of being single

Yoongi: What about your boyfriend taetae?

Y/N: I never said that it was a closed relationship ;)

Yoongi: hhhmmmm

You give a small smile and continue eating your cereal as you watch Grey’s Anatomy catching up on last week’s episode. You wish being a surgeon was that easy, but it’s not and that’s why you were drawn to it. A challenge that can be conquered.

Looking at the time you give up on waiting for Taehyung and head to bed.

RRRIIINNNGGGG

The familiar sound wakes you up and you head to the bathroom to wash up and head to class, this time choosing to ride with Taetae instead of taking the bus. Waiting at the door eating a granola bar you wait for him. He was always late somehow, don’t know how. After giving him an extra minute, you walk to his bedroom and knock on the door first, giving him that decency at least. After waiting a second you open the door and see bruises mar his face and dried blood from a split lip. He snores softly and you walk over to him quietly.

Taking in a breath you lift up his shirt and see fresh stitches. And curse under your breath. What the actual fuck? You don't disturb his slumber but go to your room and quickly write on a sticky note.

Took your car because you made me late by not telling me that you are basically dead. Will be home around 3ish after my lectures.

You run out of the apartment and unlock the Porsche pressing on the gas pedal accelerating from 0 to 100 in just a few seconds. Racing out of the apartment’s garage you head out onto the road and make it to university in record time.

As you get into the lecture hall and choose a seat in the middle you pop a stick of gum into your mouth. The burst of spearmint wakes you up and you sit at the desk looking at your phone to realize that Yoongi has spammed you.

Yoongi: Where are you

Yoongi: Y/N

Yoongi: Y/N answer me

Yoongi: Y/N I’m going to track you down and make you answer me

Y/N: I’m at school

Y/N: Do not follow me and how do you get this worked up at not seeing me get coffee?

Yoongi replies a second later

Yoongi: It just seemed out of character for you to skip your daily coffee, Hoseok said that it was like a grandma taking her daily meds.

You roll your eyes and begin texting back, but out of the blue Yoongi responds with another text.

Yoongi: How’s your boyfriend Taetae doing

You smirk at the slight tinge of jealousy laced in the words.

Y/N: Tae is doing fine why?

Yoongi: Just making sure the playing field is, even so, when I snatch you it will be fair

Y/N: LOL

You place your phone face down on the desk as the professor walks in and you bounce your leg as you wait for the minutes to tick by so you can see Taehyung quicker.

Halfway into the lecture, your phone makes a small noise and you quickly turn off the ringer and see tae texted you.

Tae: Why did you take my car :(

Y/N: it’s not like you need to go anywhere with how bad you’re bruised and don’t even get me started on how you could not TELL ME ABOUT THIS just be lucky that I  prioritize my education over you. Or else you would be DEAD! DEAD KIM TAEHYUNG

Tae: please show me mercy, I beg of you. I’m injured, you can’t kill me. That would be unfair.

Maybe you were thinking too much about things but you ask.

Y/N: Do you know anyone named Min Yoongi

Tae: yeah he’s super rich why

Y/N: if he’s super rich then why does he buy his own coffee and not his secretary?

Tae: Idk maybe he’s a high-end snob with a specific order that no one can get right

Y/N: KIM TAEHYUNG I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU SET THIS ALL UP

Tae: don’t u have a lecture u should be paying attention to

Y/N: fuck u this is not over

Tae: :p

You continue typing your notes as the teacher drones on and on. After what seems like forever you decide to skip your next two lectures which are optional but tell the professors you are sick and ask if they can email you a master copy of the notes. They agree and you drive home to kill Kim Taehyung.

You lock the car and take the elevator up, pressing your finger to the pad the door gives a soft click and you drop your backpack in your room and walk to Tae’s. The door is a ajared and you hear two voices, one being Tae’s obviously. Leaning against the wall you listen to the conversation.

“Why didn’t you just stay at the house?” A low male voice asks.

“Because if I stayed Y/N would think that something was up because it wouldn’t make sense for me to not come home after a night class,” Tae responds.

“You could have just texted her that you crashed at a friend’s place after a study session.” The man counters.

“Remember that Y/N has known me since I was in elementary school and she is my other half, so if I didn’t return home then it would scream that something was wrong,” Tae states a matter of factly

The man sighs, “She doesn’t know right?”

“No, she thinks you want to be her sugar daddy, but I mean it. If you hurt her in any way I don’t care about ranks or anything, I will kill you.” Tae states in a cold voice that you had never heard him use, ever.

“I know.”

You look through the crack and see the man come into your view. As the Min Yoongi opens the door and closes it behind him with a soft click, you put your finger up to your lips and grab his hand you drag him into your room, locking the door behind you.

Yoongi’s eyes widen and you lean against the door.

“What happened to Taehyung last night and what do you do for a living?” You deadpan.

“Do you promise to listen until the end?” He asks slowly.

You give a nod and he lets out a breath before sitting at the foot of your bed.

“That cute delivery guy is park Jimin and he’s our messenger of sorts. Taehyung had a mission to infiltrate a gang and do so by any means, things got out of hand he had to call for backup. He got captured for a couple of hours and got interrogated, but didn’t give the, anything valuable just plant seeds of discord amongst rival gangs. My real name is Min Yoongi which is true, but I’ve known about you since the first day of high school when Taehyung told us about you. I’m the CEO of Min Corporations which is a software system and I make billions, but I’m also a part of a gang called BTS. I’m not the leader, but I’m in charge of the all the technical aspects such as changing the security cameras, hacking into computers and those type of things.”

He looks up at you, anxiety filling his eyes and fear.

“Let me see your gun?” You push off of the door and walk over to him.

He does so and hands you the weapon with the safety on. You take the gun from him and the barrel warm from his body. As your hands slide over the material you turn the safety off and cock the gun. You aim the gun at the door and on cue Taehyung flings the door open, how he picked the lock within milliseconds only confirms your theory. Yoongi stills beside you and Tae freezes at the barrel pointed square on his heart.

His eyes widen with fear and you smirk as you turn the safety on and hand the gun back to Yoongi.

“I’m going to leave now, but are we still on tonight?” He asks in an unsure voice.

“Yeah, but should I bring my own Glock or will this dinner be peaceful?” You quirk an eyebrow.

A small playful smile graces his features as he says,”Bring your own just in case, you never know when danger can come.” He winks before closing the door.

“You will not need to bring a gun on your date because Yoongi is not taking you anywhere dangerous and if he does I will gut him in front of you,” Tae says through clenched teeth.

You bat your eyelashes at him and ask, “Do you not think I can carry my own gun?”

“From the way you were aiming at my heart, I would say that you know how to use one from experience which both worries and excites me.”

You stand up from your bed head to walk out of your room before saying, “Order pizza and then I might just tell you my secrets as you tell me yours.” You give him a pointed look.

He nods and follow out to the living room couch. As you plop down Taehyung asks, “Heads or tails?”

“Heads.”

He flips the coin and it lands on tails. Heaving a sigh you look at Tae and for a second you wish that he could be your boyfriend so you can distract him with a kiss.

“I love you,” you blurt out again.

“Nice try,” he glares at you.

You lean over and go to kiss his lips but he sticks his hand in your face and pushes you back. He laughs as you groan. Why must you be unlucky?

“Spill the details,” he says in a serious voice.

You roll your eyes and lean onto his shoulder for warmth, knowing that some part of you is going to go numb at reliving your past.

“I was an orphan as you know and somehow I managed to scheme my way into that high end elementary school so I can start my life outright. Did you ever wonder how an orphan can go to a private school that cost more than a car? How a girl with no money managed to be at the top of her class and pay for all the textbook and eat the school lunch while also owning enough uniforms to not look like a slob?” You look up at him waiting for him to respond.

He nods for you to go on and you nestle deeper into your position.

“I was an orphan, but I had an older sister who whored herself for us. She fell in love with EXO’s Baekhyun who took care of my schooling. I always went to your house for play dates and study sessions, you never came to mine. My sister loved me, she really did, but Baekhyun didn’t love her the same way. He dumped her and gave her enough money to keep her contempt. She took care of me for six years, so it was time that I returned back the favor. In middle school I would always say I was too busy studying at the library when really I was worming my way into EXO and learning how to hack from Sehun. They didn’t know of course because I watched from the vent. I also got payback on Baekhyun, till this day he’s still afraid of bunnies. He sleeps in fear every night,” you give a hollow laugh at the memory of him writhing in pain from that time his chest turned into nothing but shredded flesh.

 “Back to the story. At first I transferred one thousand into our bank accounts taking one dollar from a thousand bank accounts. As time drew on and my sister needed to go to college I began taking money from other gangs, it was already dirty money so why not get it dirtier? She was able to go to any college she wanted and now she’s a kindergarten teacher dating a wonderful CEO of some stock market company. She sends me money for school and instead of using it I’ve been saving it to buy myself a house and car along with money to get by in case I need to run away. All those sleepovers we’ve had well, while you were sleeping safe and sound, I was out in the night sneaking into stores shoplifting, getting jewelry to pawn, or sneaking into banks to crack open safes. Along the way I made a few enemies, and that was when I taught myself how to shoot. At first I practiced in abandoned building and then I went into gun ranges overnight to work on my shooting at night. I used a flashlight for some guidance, then I trained my vision to guess and then I bought night vision goggles, well stole them.”

“I’ve been in this world from the day I was born after finding out that my mother was a whore who overdosed and my father is now dead after I killed him. He was a pimp who worked under a rather dirty gang that has now been dealt with. I guess the only thing that I need to tell you is that I knew who you were from day one. I have dirt on all the gangs in this district and I still keep up with it from time to time. But it’s been awhile since I checked on my tabs, so it was quite a surprise that you were in a gang. Although I never took you for a gang member.”

As he opens his mouth to talk the doorbell rings and Tae jumps over the couch to get the pizza as you go to the fridge to get two cokes. After settling back in and sitting cross-legged, eating pizza, and looking at each other Taehyung begins his story.

“I was born rich obviously, but when I was in preschool I got bullied, the kids were jealous and I would come home with bruises under my shirts. One day a kid saw me being cornered and scared the bullies off. Jimin, the delivery boy who you thought was cute, Park Jimin. He saved me. His parents are rich, but they’re rich because his father has another company that takes place underground and deal with things that should not be said. Everyone knew not to mess with Jimin or else their parents would suffer along with them. We became friends and he’s close but not as close as you are with me. You may be equal though once you start dating Yoongi and I’m left alone though,” I look up and he’s wiggling his eyebrows at you. You just roll your eyes and take a bite of your slice.

“Anyway, Jimin told me that he was going to join BTS when he got in elementary school so he can be powerful and stop bullies, so I wanted to join too and protect a kid like Jimin did for me. So I did the initiation which was just getting back to the base from any given location and they prepared us for that. I haven’t killed a person if that’s what you’re wondering. We don’t kill by the way, well out of self-defense, if we’re under fire then we don’t pay attention to the life, just making sure that we come out alive. But back to my story. I knew something was fishy with you from the moment you walked in elementary school darting your eyes all over the place like there were cameras everywhere. One day I found you hacking into the principal’s computer and change your grades to all As and then gave us that teacher workday. You were in kindergarten how did you learn how to do that? I began following you and at one point I did have a crush on you and kissed you in your sleep one night at a sleepover, but when I didn’t feel the tingles I thought I would, I decided it would be better to be your older brother, so there are no romantic feelings between us. By the time it was high school and we already knew each other I began getting another crush, this time it became an obsession sort of because I wanted to know what you did that made you so hot and sexy, it turned me on to be honest.”

“Oh shut up, you were just curious,” you laugh playfully hitting his chest.

“Well I was curious and not knowing what you did make me hard and I wanted to know more so I dug deeper and found more about your past. I didn’t know anything about your parents because you erased them, but read about your sister with EXO and that all Yoongi could dig up for me. I decided to invite to a sleepover even when we were high schoolers, you still said yes. Well, I did bribe you with homemade cookies and pizza, but still, you came. I made a little sensor go off when my window was opened. After the shrill ringing in my ears went off, I quickly woke up and followed you. For the whole night I saw you win car races, sneak into jewelry stores, still designer clothes, and pickpocket quite the number of wallets. I was amazed and yet I wanted to protect you, why did you have to do this why did I see you give a wicked grin before hooking up with a complete stranger. I told Yoongi about it because at the time he seemed like he would understand you since you did hack a lot and I thought he could see where you were coming from since he grew up with a rough past also. So I asked him to watch out for you and one day he found your sister and went to talk to her. That day you were stressing about finals taking the preMCATS, so I didn’t want to say anything. Months went by and you didn’t come home with bruises or with split knuckles. I decided to not go any further and here we are now here we are 14 years of friendship and counting.” He raises his bottle of coke to toast.

“What’s Min Yoongi like?” You ask after a couple minutes of silence, both of you processing one another’s hidden life.

“I trust him with my life and with yours. I think you two would be a fit and I’m not pressuring you or anything, but you’ll always have a family with BTS.” he says quietly.

“I know, that day you followed me, it was sort of obvious because you were acting weird the next day and I saw a kid that looked strangely like you and from the way you were shrinking back in the shadows at the car race, I knew it was you. You were such a dweeb.” You laugh looking at his face.

He flicks your nose and you turn the tv on to a rerun of Friends. As the episode ends you check your phone and a reminder pops up for your date at 8. The time reads 7:30. He’s picking you up at 8. Shit! You only have time to take a quick shower and put on BB cream. After missing up your light makeup you undo your hair and quickly blow dry it. As you deem your hair somewhat decent you slip on the shoes, shove your daggers, phone, and a wad of fake hundreds just for fun. You look at your phone and see that you have a minute to spare. Smiling to yourself you walk to the front door slipping on the pumps that are awfully tall and open the door to see a wide-eyed Yoongi.

You put your hand on his chest and gently push him away as you call over your shoulder, “I’ll be back tomorrow hungover probably so don’t wait up for me.” You flash Tae a wicked grin and close the door before he can retort.

“Wow, you look pretty nice for someone who got ready in just thirty minutes.” Yoongi remarks as you wait in the elevator.

“Taehyung texted you?” You roll your head at him.

“Yeah, he told me to be late since you two were busy having a pow wow moment, so I was planning on giving you an extra second.” he smiles sarcastically at me.

“So where are we going?” You ask as the both of you step into the garage and he walks you over to his red Ferrari 488 GTB. Show off much.

He opens the door for you and you smile as you slide into the low seat. After he turns the car on with his fingerprint he asks, “Wanna go gambling?” He pulls out a wad of cash from the inside pocket of his suit.

“Why I thought you would never ask?” you match his devilish grin as you pull out your wad of Benjamins.

His grin widens into a smile as he asks, “Are those fake?” he raises a brow.

You gasp and place a hand to your heart and ask, “How could you know me so well?” You smile at him.

“What’s the bet then?” A playful glint shines in his eyes.

“I say we last thirty minutes before they throw us out.”

“I say twenty-five if we start winning too much. Do you know how to count cards?”

“I only know a little bit, but I can easily make a million throughout the casino. How about we make a deal?” You propose.

“And what deal would that be?”

“The one who can get away with the most money real or fake within thirty minutes. Do you know how to count cards?” You turn to look at him.

“No, but I know when to add and when to stop, so I would say that I’m more logical and luck.”

“Well I’ll give you a head start with letting you get one thousand more than me, think of it as leveling the playing field.” You flash him one of your wicked grins that made prisoners quiver in their chairs.

“A gentleman’s deal and no pickpocketing.” He sticks his hand out to shake.

“Fine, I guess I’ll just keep that money for myself.” You sigh looking out at the window as the buildings pass by you.

“What does the winner get?”

“The loser pays for the next date.” you look at him.

“Why would that be losing? Because I plan to rent out an entire amusement park and it’s been awhile since something was at stake for me, so why not?” You pull out one of your sparkling daggers and you hear Yoongi take in a breath.

The blade reflects the city’s lights off of its blade and the curved edge glides easily across your palm, not drawing blood, but the motion of using it makes your blood sing. It’s been a couple of months since you lasted used them for a mission of sorts, but tonight might be a night that will make your blood boil with excitement.

“Have you ever killed a person?” He asks in the silence.

“Besides my dad yes. The enjoyment of having all the power and making those big buff men scream in pain makes me sleep soundly every night. I do not kill unless the person deserves it. I only make those you raise their hands on a woman or gamble their daughter’s college savings away suffer. I make sure karma comes back to them. Whether it be them losing a finger or their family is entirely up to them.” You answer him in a bleak voice, letting him gauge whether or not he can handle your storm.

“So you’re a vigilante on your nights off of being a med student?” he muses.

“Occasionally, but I’m also a hired assassin when I need some quick cash,” you shrug.

He gives a bark of laughter and quickly looks at you fondling your beloved dagger.

“Who gave you those?” he asks.

“I stole them from a rival assassin who I lost my virginity to.” You say nonchalantly.

“Wow, you have quite the life.” he jokes.

“How much do you know,” you ask quietly.

“That you were safe and never in danger I never dug deep it felt too invasive, so I just made sure you had no police record and any stray cameras that caught you on their feed disappeared or turned elsewhere.” He says with equal quietness.

“Thank you,” you give him a small smile as you hold his hand.

“You know that if things do go array tonight call Taehyung, Jungkook, Jimin, Jin, J-hope, or Namjoon. Their numbers are already saved in your phone.” His voice leaves no room for questions.

“I can handle myself if you haven’t already noticed,” you smirk at him, giving his hand a little squeeze.

“Is that what this tough girl act is?” he raises a brow at me.

“That plus to see if I can scare any dates off. If they can’t handle the little things then what would happen if I came home covered in blood and he needed to stitch up my bullet wound?” His hands tighten around yours and you roll your eyes at his inner protectiveness come out. Ah, men and their primal instincts.

After a couple of minutes, the car slows down and you look at each other.

“May the best scammer win and the loser suffer,” you smirk at him before opening the car door and glide into the casino looking like a single woman looking for a good time.