#you know. i was happy to find credence. it feels good

[outlying-hyppocrate]

identity crisis

[leo-interactive-fiction]

Playing Triaina Academy, my MC has no chill and wants to shout their love from the rooftops.

So, I gotta ask how the ROs would react to MC bragging to everyone available that they got the bestest partner to ever exist.

Thank you for reading haha. I'm sure there are plenty who can relate to your MCs plight. Let's see...

----

E quickly hops up behind you as you open your mouth once more, putting their hands over it before you can let loose another tyraid about the incomparable cuteness of your beloved neighbor.

"T-Thats fine! That's good! I think they get it! I-Its almost time for dinner, we should leave! Now!"

-------

R smiles contentedly as they listen in on your boastful celebration, chuckling quietly to themselves, "It almost feels wasteful, to see so much excitement for someone as undeserving as me...I suppose I will have some large expectations to live up to."

-------

L ducks away from the room as you make your excited announcements, fanning the heat from their face as they overhear your bragging. They can't help but smile to themselves as you talk of their superiority. "Oh, MC...if only I could find words worthy of you, I would return your praise tenfold...One day, I shall..."

-------

V shifts their body uncomfortably as attention begins shifting onto them. They stare back at the pairs of eyes turning to them, a hand already hovering over the grip of their handgun. "Vacate the premises, before you become an obstruction to the commander.

-------

Before you can get to the second phrase of your prepared speech on the greatness of tsunderes, a hand has already palmed your skull with enough pressure to turn a walnut to dust, dragging you outside. "What the hell do you think you're telling people? Are you that desperate to dive into your grave, dumbass? Because you're already 5 fucking feet deep, and my foot in your skull will be the last one you need."

------

M takes your boasts a step further, giving credence to your talk with a soft kiss in front of everyone. What the crowd doesn't witness is M's heated whispering in your ear, or their listful bedroom eyes, "If you're...that...excited...I can help...solve that...for you...you know...someplace...less crowded..."

------

Unfortunately, Raven had already made their rounds announcing their newfound, loving relationship with a bond that will never be broken as long as they live. When you try to give your boasts, they seem almost scared. Raven appears, waving off your confusion.

"No worries, my love! I just got a little...carried away! I was just so happy! But some people tried to ruin the occasion...you understand, don't you? I think it was just a little accident!"

------

S throws an arm over your shoulders, pulling you into a rambunctious side hug while in the middle of your confession, "Ya'll here that? This guy says I'm the best! Ya know what I say to that? I'd say there ain't no one I'd rather have watchin' my back. How about a toast, to good times, and better friends! Cheers!" The entire bar follows suit, cheering happily as you sink deeper into the depressive realization that this friend zone may be inescapable.

-------

F folds their arms, staring an intense hole into you. The silence between you creates an oppressive atmosphere until they speak.

"Do you understand the fragility of the situation you've caused? Is there any sense in your head, of the target you paint on your back? Do you have any idea..." F pauses, composing the shaking in their hands and providing themselves a moment to breathe deep. Their voice is quiet and defeated, "Do you have any idea what the depth of the loss would be, should the worst come to pass due to your recklessness? Think, you fool."

----- thank ya for the ask! I hope you enjoyed reading haha

[midnightsun-if]

Seeing the last ask and Scarlett's reaction, I'm curious how a therapist who is more or less the only Sane One would deal with each ro, and vise versa. Like that edge of complete sanity and rationality against the moods and opinions of each ro.

Like clearing their throat, and very calmly explaining to Scarlett that feeling "a bubble of happiness" at her beloved presenting a heart of an assassin of her to her that she killed in "cruel and unusual" ways is not a healthy reaction, no.

Therapy would be a good solution for a couple of them, you're right. Though, it's very likely that, by the end of the various sessions, the therapist would need to get their own in return.

Koda: He'd be dream patient, let's be real. Would answer all of the therapist's questions as honestly as possible, wouldn't put up a fuss about revealing things, he'd just be overall earnest about trying to cooperate with the person that's trying to help him get better. Even if he doesn't exactly understand why he's seeing a therapist to begin with: "I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I was wondering if you know why I'm here? I've been trying to figure it out." That'd probably put the therapist into a bit of a tailspin, but Koda's genuine curiosity would help exceptionally.

Scarlett: Would either be completely dismissive of the therapist: "I'm curious as to why you think I'd value your insight. Me being here isn't based upon anything you may have, or may have not, accomplished. Frankly, I don't care who you are, nor do I think I'll remember you the moment this session is over. You may prattle on with your inane opinions, of course, but do not expect me to give them any credence." Or she'd be her classic cunning self and be ready to send barbs the therapists way: "It's quite baffling that you believe I'd feel anything but exuberance towards the death of the very person that wished to have me killed. Do you not wish for the same thing when you're watching thrillers or horror movies? Or do you find the humanity within those that wish to kill what has not harmed them? If anything, that says more about you than it does I.'

Cyrus/Cyra: They'd be completely flustered about being there in the first place, but they'd also try to be as accommodating as they possibly could -- good manners aren't something they shirk, even if they're not exactly happy with their current situation. The room probably heating up a bit due to said agitation: "I'm aware that things have been less than stellar for me as of late, but I don't believe it's warranted anything like this. I do apologize if you think I'm calling into question your capabilities, I just don't believe they're needed here."

Quinn: This scenario would definitely be a time where they'd be totally tense, simply watching the therapist watch them in return, causing their wolf to prickle in response to a potential opponent. They're not the happiest camper in the world, but they'd try to remain calm and collected, even if their hand keeps clenching and their teeth are slightly sharper than usual: "What would you like to know? I'm pretty much an open book." However, the moment the therapist tried to move onto the familial territory, Quinn would snarl back in response: "I suggest moving on from this topic immediately. It's a direction that I don't think you'd enjoy reaching the end of."

Caden: The poor therapist wouldn't even know where to begin with Caden.... Caden doesn't know what to do with Caden at times. Compounded by the fact that Caden would, more than likely, be invisible. So, if anyone walked in, they'd think the therapist is crazy because they're seemingly holding a session with no one in the room. If, and I do mean if, Caden would be able to get ahold of themself, and relax enough to become visible again, I could see them sharing bits and pieces from their past, but it'd be completely obvious that they're leaving things out, refusing to elaborate further: "I have a long history, I've seen a lot things, and have done quite a bit too. I-I don't understand why you want to know all of this. I'm nothing special."

Sloane: Wouldn't say a damn thing. They'd simply slouch back, probably flicking their lighter open and close, and glare stare at the therapist without letting a single thing show; the ticking of the clock being the only sound in the room. Probably would even stay a little bit longer after the session ended to truly send the point home that the therapist would not want them to return. But, as they'd stand up to leave, they'd finally say something: "It's been fun, doc. We should try this again sometime."

Blake: Is definitely the kind of person to give absolutely absurd/horrifying answers to Rorschach Test and wouldn't have any qualms about doing so; would find it quite funny, in fact: "Will you stop showing me pictures of that? It's quite sickening." (Would not elaborate on what's so sickening about said image.) Or they'd just make up random stories/answers to appease the therapist and hopefully move on with their life: "You see, doc, I grew up on a little farm just outside of a little down. Ma and Pa did the best they could, but there were too many mouths to feed, I was the oldest of eight after all, so I don't blame them for putting me to work as soon as I reached knee height."

Reginald/Regina: Would flop down onto the couch and go on a complete tangent about various things, probably spiraling into subjects that have nothing to do with why they're there in the first place: "I'm not saying I support kidnapping, of course I don't, I'm just aware that if someone decided to do that to Grogu, I'd understand." Might have their therapist checking their watch actually -- while being completely oblivious -- as they try to reign the human gremlin back in as they'd probably start going on a tangent about Star Trek next.

[coffeeheartaddict2]

An unlikely occurrence

Book: Open Heart (post series)

Characters: Tobias Carrick, Harper Emery

Warnings: sexual references

Catergory: fluff

Rating: PG

Word Count: 1939

Summary: Tobias reaches out to Harper after she leaves the team and it leads to what both thought would be an unlikely romance.

Disclaimer: Characters belong to Pixelberry

Authors note: A request from @jerzwriter (no surprises really) who wanted to see Tobias in a romantic relationship.

🍝🍝🍝🍝🍝🍝🍝🍝🍝🍝🍝🍝

Things at Edenbrook after the downfall of Leland and Caroline taking over had started to settle. Harper had left the team and Tobias along with Casey had finished the recruitment process but Tobias was still uneasy with the circumstances that Harper had chosen to leave. He knew he was harsh initially when he accused her of being jealous when Casey was accused of putting their patient into the non placebo group in a study. He knew Harper left willingly, wanting to give Casey and Tobias the best chance of running the team without any previous conflicts potentially derailing them but he still had the utmost respect for her professionally but he also respected her personally and he did not want either relationship to sully.

He proposed a dinner, Mistral. Sure this is where one normally took people on a date and this was certainly not a date but he knew Harper was a woman of exquisite taste.

Harper was intrigued. She had known Tobias, more professionally for a long time. She knew of the history between him and Ethan and she was pleasantly surprised at how well they worked together on the team whilst she was on it. She did not think events had sullied either their personal or professional relationship but she still went.

The day of the dinner arrived. They arrived at the restaurant separately. They had a very pleasant evening. Tobias apologized for calling her out so harshly. She understood where he was coming from and as the mediation process went on she was quite surprised that the underlying motive was jealousy.

“Don’t get me wrong, I have the utmost respect for Casey so it was a shock to me that jealousy was my motive.” Said Harper.

“It was a surprise to me too, Harper, I never thought you to be the jealous type.” Said Tobias.

Harper winced slightly. “To be honest, in her intern year I was a bit. I had seen some questionable interactions that had given credence to the rumours I heard and I did find it hypocritical, because he ended our arrangement because I was about to be his boss and here he was possibly with a subordinate.”said Harper, “I also did have lingering feelings for him also.”

“It makes sense, you are both very driven people and you were on and off again for so long…”

Harper interjected. “We broke up initially because I was falling in love with him and he was not on the same page. We ended it but became good friends then a few years later at a conference we were intimate and an arrangement was born.”

“Well I am glad he has found happiness.” Said Tobias.

“So am I, Tobias, truly, they are very well suited.”

“I have never seen him so beside himself like he was on the day of the bio attack, I know I still feel bad for courting him and telling June that I was but it was the beginning of what I hoped would lead to a reconciliation between us.”

They enjoyed their meal and walked out together.

“I had a lovely time Tobias” said Harper.

“Me too Harper, feels good to clear the air.”

“It does” agreed Harper. They kissed each other on the cheek and parted ways.

Tobias arrived at work the next day. He was in a jovial mood that was not missed by Casey.

“You’re in a good mood.”

“Yes I am, I had a lovely dinner with Harper last night.”

Casey raised an eyebrow. “As in a date?”

Tobias laughed, a little bit too boisterously.

“No, just as friends, I wanted to clear the air after everything with the mediation etc.”

“Right and surely a quick coffee in either office would have had the same outcome?”

“Well yes, but I have known and respected Harper for a long time, she deserved more than a coffee in her office.”

“Ahh-huh” said Casey. “Whatever you say Tobias” she said. They continued on with their work.

A few days later Harper was requested for a consult on one of the team’s patients. The consult went well and the outcome for the patient was going to be good. Harper hung back slightly.

“I really enjoyed the other night, Tobias. I would very much like to have dinner with you again”

“I had a great time too, and yes, I would be more than willing to have dinner with you again.”

“Excellent, I’ll make the booking and let you know.”

“Looking forward to it already.” Said Tobias.

Dinner was booked for a few days later, this time at Blu restaurant. Tobias was excited as he had not been here yet. The views were impressive and so was the company. Harper looked like a vision in a green dress. They enjoyed their meal and the conversation and the wine. Harper had found Tobias attractive but always found him a bit brash for her tastes but she had to admit there were many layers to Tobias Carrick that she found intriguing. Tobias enjoyed getting to know Harper more personally too. Their night came to an end but neither wanted the night to end just yet. Harper invited Tobias over for a nightcap which he agreed too.

Harper lived in an apartment building nearby. Tobias was pleasantly surprised to be offered a scotch.

“Ethan introduced me even before we were together” she said, “I still prefer red wine but I do prefer a dark spirit to end the night.”

Tobias smiled. “I introduced Ethan to bourbon back in Hopkins and we discovered various scotches together.”

Harper smiled. “It is hard imagining you as friends, you are in some ways rather similar but also in some ways very different.”

“What is the saying? Opposites attract?” Said Tobias, “I consider Ethan to be the brother I never had, our fallout hurt both of us, if I had my time again my actions that night would have been different but I am glad we are friends again now.”

“I am glad too” said Harper. “He has been the happiest I have seen him.”

“Yeah well being with someone whom you love and loves you and some closure on his past…”

Harper nodded in agreement and marveled at the man in her living room. They finished their drink and Tobias decided to take his leave. They hugged and went to kiss each other on the cheek but instead they kissed each other on the lips. It was quick but they lingered, Tobias tentatively kissed her again, Harper returned the kiss and deepened it. The kiss was remarkable. They pulled apart to breathe and Harper asked. “Did you want to continue” to which Tobias replied “yes”

The kisses got deeper and heated. Hands start roaming as they make their way to Harper’s bedroom. Sure Tobias had thought about having sex with Harper a very long time ago but had resigned himself to it not happening but that did not mean he was not happy to be here. They spent time exploring each other in their respective naked forms until Harper straddled Tobias and took charge of the evening. It had been awhile for both of them so Harper did have to spend a few minutes to adjust to his size but once she had it was on. Harper felt incredible to Tobias and to be honest he was enjoying her taking charge the way she was. The session was equal parts tender and intense. The sight of Harper succumbing to her climax triggered Tobias’s and he came hard. Both were physically sated and they fell into a deep restful sleep.

Tobias awoke with a start. As much as he enjoyed last night,he was concerned. How closely he worked with Aurora being one, he knew Ethan and Harper were ancient history, but he had concerns about that too. Harper awoke and saw Tobias deep in concerned thought.

“Are you regretting last night?” Asked Harper.

Tobias was shook from his thoughts.

“Regret last night?” He said, “No, most definitely not but if we decide that last night was not a once off… I directly supervise Aurora for starters, Ethan, yes I know that was a long time ago and he has Casey now but still…”

“Calm down Tobias, please.” Harper said as walked towards him. “Situations like this is why have HR, I know you would still treat Aurora fairly, nor let any issues between us affect your working relationship and if I am being honest I think Ethan would be happy for us.”

Tobias smiled. He knew that they needed to discuss what they were but that was a discussion for another time.

He went home and got ready for his day. Meanwhile Harper met with Aurora for breakfast. Aurora noted that her aunt seemed more relaxed than usual. Harper did not say why, feeling that it better her and Tobias figure out what they were before announcing. When arriving at work, Aurora also noted that Tobias appeared to be in a great mood also, this mood was also noted by Casey.

Aurora and Casey had lunch together.

“Can I be suspect in that my aunt and our boss were in very good moods today?”

“A few days ago, after Tobias had dinner with your aunt, he was very jovial, I have not seen Harper outside of work but I can not rule out that something happened.”

Aurora shook her head , “that was a mental image I did not need.”

“At least they are getting along, and they are both professionals so they surely can keep the personal out of work.”

“Well you and Ethan did that for how long?”

“Exactly.”

Meanwhile, in the surgical wing Tobias was having a chat with Harper. Well, it was meant to be a chat but instead they had an intense session in Harper’s office. It was quick but intense.

“What are we doing Harper, yes I know we are two consenting adults who are having some pretty unbelievable sex, but is this a with benefit situation or are we doing to have to meet with HR?”

Both had not being in a romantic relationship for a while so to be honest, Tobias was half expecting Harper to say to keep it as an arrangement but he was pleasantly surprised when Harper said she would like to pursue a relationship.

“Full disclosure, relationships have not been my thing for awhile but I am willing to give it a go.”

Harper chuckles, “It has been a long time since I have had a relationship too, Tobias.”

“I know there are some finer points to discuss but I need to head back to work.”

Tobias headed back to the DT office, with a spring in his step. He arrived back to the office and noticed Casey and Aurora working and eating.

“Ladies, I know we try to be efficient but do you always need to have a working lunch?”

“We are just reading up on the patient we have had and post surgical treatments” stated Aurora.

Casey looks up and sees that Tobias is looking very relaxed, much more than normal. She decides not to ask but is happy that Tobias is happy.

Later that night Tobias meets up with Harper again, to discuss their relationship, they made a meeting with HR and decided to host a dinner party with Aurora, Ethan and Casey to tell them their happy news. Both Harper and Tobias though were excited to embark on this relationship that even though they had not sought it, were glad that is was happening.

——-

Authors note 2: submission for Tobias Carrick appreciation week. There is a part 2 which will be up eventually.

Tagging: @jerzwriter @cariantha @liaromancewriter @jamespotterthefirst @genevievemd @alj4890 @storyofmychoices @bex-la-get @crazy-loca-blog @a-crepusculo @potionsprefect @tessa-liam @trappedinfanfiction @lucy-268 @schnitzelbutterfingers @binny1985 @openheartfanfics @choicesficwriterscreations @tobias-carrick-appreciation-week

[parttimesarah]

💜My immediate thoughts on WWDITS FX S5E3💚

* Yana Gorskaya always directs the BEST Nandermo episodes!

* I love that we got a fresh, more subtle, “SeanaaAaAaAAy”

* Guillermo’s interview sitting in his footlocker is so sweet! It’s a reminder that Nandor bought him something he really wanted and that Nandor is responsible, in this small way, for helping Guillermo feel more like a vampire.

* Guillermo standing behind Nandor when Sean and Charmaine are in the fancy room is just a subtle reminder of how dedicated Guillermo remains to Nandor. He is not abandoning him.

* I WANT BOTH OF THOSE SEAN SHIRTS!

* AWWWW Nandor, your crush is showing, bb!

* Guillermo’s super speed was… lacking. He seems less strong than when he was slaying/bodyguarding in S2, 3, and 4. Maybe it’s because he is further away from being his true self. Laszlo saying that the turning has been “stymied”, to me, lends credence to the idea that Nandor’s blood could kickstart its completion. Guillermo will come into his full strength when he is finally united with Nandor for eternity.

* I gotta admit, it feels a bit like they just needed to find something for Natasia to be doing. I think she did a great job with the physical performance, but I don’t know how much her/the doll’s story here was needed.

* “Soft after two pumps”, Nandor? Could it be because you’ve just been thinking of Guillermo (the djinn’s wish) while not being with Guillermo. That issue will go away 👏 once 👏 you 👏 are 👏 with 👏 Guillermo!!!

* Nandor demanding he “is wanted” as a reason to spend time with Guillermo (and Laszlo) during their experiments was so telling. Like he needed to hear Laszlo say he is a powerful hypnotist to be happy, he needs to audibly hear that he is actually wanted, even if he’s the one saying it. Guillermo saying “I chose you. I want you.” is going to make this babygirl cream his jeans velvet robes.

* Nandor looking at Guillermo before saying he can fly higher than Laszlo is another obvious tell that he is only concerned with Guillermo’s opinion of him. He is searching for that validation!

* “Grey Boy” is such a good nickname for CR 😂

* Laszlo calling Guillermo “dear boy” is a huge compliment when you consider how their relationship in the series began. Laszlo may not show it (cuz it takes him a long time to show his emotions), but he does care for Guillermo’s wellbeing.

* Awwww Laszlooooo, look at you out living your best beach boy life! I’d say that red face’s sunburn would be worth it! It is interesting that Laszlo is able to take strength from Guillermo. Sure, it’s something Guillermo doesn’t sacrifice anything to give away (just some hours on the treadmill), but the metaphor of using Guillermo’s self-defined weakness (he hasn’t been turned well enough, he isn’t vampiric enough) to help bring a vampire joy is actually quite lovely

* Nandor admitted it! OMFG! I was SO ready for him to deny deny deny that he was just trying to impress Guillermo but HE DIDN’T! Honestly, I still can’t believe it.

* Not the TikTok trainspotting guy Nandor Cam 😂. As I watched Nandor slowly going further and further up, I kept trying to imagine what he was saying to himself in his mind. It had to be something about wanting to outshine Laszlo so that Guillermo will stay with him forever. And then maybe his (usually blissfully empty) mind would have led him to say “Well, there is one way I could make sure we’re together forever…”

* Charmaine’s face when Laszlo said how much Sean has tried to kiss him. 👀 Might we see a jealous Charmaine??

* Naked Nandy! GOOD LORD! Thank you writers. Thank you, Yana.

* What does the Guillermo cough with the smoke mean?! It might have just been his breath in the cold, but it really looked like a bit of smoke or steam escaped him upon seeing his master naked (and with the djinn-dick). He still protected his Master though, even with the surprise, and that tending behavior was sweet. **UPDATE: I don’t watch with subtitles, so I missed the fact that Guillermo said “Oh my God” and then he coughed some smoke. That’s so perfect!**

* The jalopy lives and it looked great! But the best part of the parade was seeing Guillermo being so cute and happy. Yes, he’s owning his identity, but he also knows that Nandor will literally go to space for him!

* And as for that end credits scene…Nonononononononononononononono

[natrogersfics]

PREVIEW - Game Plan: Chapter 9

Artwork by @faith2nyc Catch up on Chapters 1-8 

There’s something about the air in London that makes Natasha crave tea. She couldn’t exactly prove it, but as she fills her mug with freshly boiled water, she can’t help but give the theory some credence. Coffee has been her caffeine fix of choice for as long as she can recall. She does not dare go a day without it, and yet, every time she finds herself across the pond, she catches herself reaching for a nice cup of Earl Grey instead.

“I’ll make a tea drinker out of you yet.”

“It’s either this or the swill in your cupboard also known as instant coffee,” she retorts without looking back as she plunges the tea bag into the mug, letting it steep. “Seriously, why even bother keeping any?”

“Mobius keeps it around for when he’s desperate.”  

With her drink in hand, she turns to find Loki standing by the doorway of his kitchen, a sleeping puppy nestled securely in his arms. “That man is a glutton for punishment.”

“Oh, you’ve no idea,” Loki says with a wiggle of his eyebrows, prompting her to chuckle as she makes her way over to them.

“Good morning, Fenrir,” she coos, running her free hand over the dog’s shiny black fur. Loki, ever the clean freak, hadn’t been too happy when his sister had dropped Fenrir off at his place yesterday, citing a work emergency that she needed to attend to. Taking in the current scene, though, one would never have guessed that her friend had spent the entire day complaining about having to pick up after the pup. She looks back at Loki, smirking. “I told you you’d eventually fall in love.”

Loki scoffs. “I believe that’s the same thing I said about your new hair color.”

As if on reflex, she reaches for the tail end of her now very blonde braid. Yelena had barely left her apartment when she received a phone call from Loki asking her what time her flight was arriving. He hadn’t bothered to ask her how she was doing or for clarification on the news articles she knows he’s seen circulating online, and she knew it’s because he already knew the answer to those. And while she had insisted that there was no need for her to fly out, Loki was having none of it. Either he would fly out or she would, but one thing was for certain, he wasn’t going to allow her to be alone during her leave. Despite her best efforts to persuade him otherwise, she knew there wasn’t any use in arguing with Loki when he was as determined as he was in that moment, and by the next day, she found herself on the redeye to London and walking straight into Loki’s awaiting arms upon landing in Heathrow.

That was nearly a week ago. Since then, there’s been seemingly bottomless bottles of Bordeaux, midnight baking, trips to the spa, and endless shenanigans that’s been nothing short of a salve for her soul. It was on her fourth day when she was accompanying Loki to get a trim when the receptionist had asked if she herself wanted anything done. Perhaps it was from the energy of being away from all of her woes and being digitally off the grid (Loki had taken her phone from her when she landed), but before she could give it too much thought, she found herself nodding and being led to the seat next to Loki.

If she’s being honest, she hadn’t put too much thought into what she wanted done. The only thing she knew was that she wanted a change, and between her hair having always been a fiery scarlet and her having already experimented with jet black box dye in college, bleaching it felt like the natural option. Nevertheless, as the foils were stripped away from her head later on to reveal her newly golden locks, she didn’t miss the slight wave of unease that permeated through her at the sight.

Not that she had permitted herself to flounder in the emotion for long. With a sigh, she had quashed the feeling as quickly as it had come. Change, as unsettling as it can be at times, is the only constant in the world. That’s what she had told Yelena not so long ago. And with that reminder, by the time the stylist had finished washing and running each section of her hair through a dryer and a roller brush, she found herself at peace with her decision.

“I wouldn’t say I’m in love with it,” she says. “It’s definitely growing on me, though.”

“Then I echo that sentiment when it comes to this mongrel.”

“Did you or did you not let him sleep in your bed last night?”  

“I needed something to keep me warm while Mobius is away,” Loki says, sighing in concession when she shoots him a withering glare. “Fine! Him, I like.” He reaches over to pet Fenrir between the ears, the dog all but melting into his touch. “His owner, on the other hand, leaves much to be desired.”

“Hela is not that bad,” she reasons.

“Isn’t she?” Loki challenges. “She’s high-maintenance, full of herself-”

“How many conditioning treatments do you have in your shower again?” she asks, biting back an amused smile. Despite Loki’s harsh words for his twin sister, she knows that in his heart of hearts, he does not truly mean them. If Loki’s smarting at the moment, it’s only because Hela had gone from being the publicist for the club rivaling Loki’s to being the publicist for the entire Premier League within the last year. And, in the good name of sibling rivalry, Hela has taken every opportunity since to remind Loki of her impressive feat.

“You told me that the tangerine one made your hair feel soft as silk,” Loki reminds her. The doorbell rings before she can respond, though, prompting him to make a face. “Speaking of.” He looks down at Fenrir in his arms. “I am truly sorry you have to go home with the devil incarnate.”

“Be nice,” she scolds, shaking her head as she follows him. Loki pulls the door open to reveal Hela, her long onyx hair falling like a glossy curtain around her face as she stands at the doorstep, looking ever the power executive that she is in a black pantsuit and green silk blouse.

“Fenrir!” Hela exclaims, reaching to take the dog from Loki’s arms. “Mummy missed you, my love!” She nuzzles the top of Fenrir’s head as she adds, “I’m terribly sorry I had to leave you in such modest dwellings.”

Loki’s voice rises a decibel. “Modest dwellings?”

“Hela, hey,” she interjects, handing Loki her mug as she steps between him and Hela and ignores the scowl the former directs at her. “How have you been?”

“Oh, just fabulous, darling,” Hela says as she leans forward to give her a kiss on each cheek. “A little tired, but I suppose it comes with the territory.” She shrugs. “The Premier League being the most competitive in Europe and all.”

“I’ll bet,” she says, smiling back at Hela even as she elbows Loki when she hears him mutter something unkosher over the rim of his mug.

“What about you?” Hela says. “What brings you to town?”

“Nothing really,” she says before nodding towards Loki. “This one had invited me to stay over, and since I had time off from work, I figured why not.”

“Are you still working for the Avengers?” Hela asks, to which she nods. “The allure of American football has honestly always evaded me, but from a business standpoint, I can’t help but admire the NFL’s reach and its penchant for being one hell of a profitable bastard.”

She chuckles quietly. “Allowing commercials during the game has its perks.”

Hela hums, her expression growing pensive for a second, before her emerald eyes suddenly light up. “Have you ever considered hosting an NFL game here in London?”

“Hela, Natasha is here on holiday,” Loki tells his sister sternly. “Let’s not ruin it with talk about work.”

“It’s fine, Loki,” she says, placing a hand on Loki’s arm before looking back at Hela. “Besides, as happy as I would be to help you out, Hela, I’m afraid making that kind of arrangement is way above my pay grade.” She shrugs. “I work for the Avengers, not the entire NFL.”

“Not yet, that is,” Hela says with a wink. “Besides, you wouldn’t need the entire league, just two teams. If you could get the Avengers to agree, that’s half the battle already won.”

“True,” she concedes, “let me see what the GM-”

“Though I suppose your Quarterback is finding himself in quite a pickle these days, isn’t he?” Hela says before she can even finish her sentence. “What, with his pregnant ex showing up out of the blue like that.”

“Hela,” Loki says, a veiled warning in his tone.

“Whatever strategy your PR team thinks they’re using to save him is absolute bollocks, by the way,” Hela says, ignoring Loki as her gaze moves towards her. “Between us publicists, what in the world is happening over there?”

“I wouldn’t know,” she says, keeping her tone even. “I’m strictly focused on the team’s PR now.”

“Well, that explains everything,” Hela says, shaking her head. “Frankly, if he has even the slightest interest in salvaging his image after all this, he should have just admitted to being the father from the very beginning instead of whatever it is he thinks he’s doing right now.”

“What are you talking about?” she asks at the same time Hela’s name falls pointedly from Loki’s lips again.

Hela eyes her and Loki, looking at them as though they’ve each grown another head as she takes in the confusion on their faces. “This morning’s pictures,” she says simply, shifting on her feet to settle a squirming Fenrir. “You know, the ones of him and… Peggy, is it? They’re coming out of what I assume is her prenatal appointment, hand in hand.” She scoffs. “I know everyone likes a happy ending, but for goodness’ sake, you just drove your team to a second consecutive loss and now you’re out frolicking with your ex without so much as an official statement?” Hela’s face twists with annoyance. “The optics, people!”

From her periphery, she catches the way Loki’s gaze shifts towards her, but she keeps her eyes on Hela as she shrugs. “I’m sure they have their reasons.”

“Just be glad he’s not your problem anymore,” Hela says before sighing. “Anyhow, Fenrir and I best get going.”

“Best idea you’ve had yet,” Loki says, eliciting a glare from Hela as he reaches for the doorknob.

“Oh, one last thing,” Hela says, peering over Loki’s shoulder as he lets out an exasperated sigh. “How long are you in town for?”

“I leave in two days,” she says.

“In that case, the League is having a charity event tonight. There’ll be drinks, dancing, an auction. Not to mention a parade of handsome lads.” Hela smiles. “I’d love to have you.”  

“Seriously?” Loki says, “Natasha didn’t fly all the way here to-”

“Actually, that sounds great,” she interjects, ignoring the surprised expression that makes its way onto Loki’s face. “Thanks, Hela.”

“Brilliant, I’ll have them add you to the guest list,” Hela says, her smile faltering as she turns to Loki. “I suppose you’re welcome to attend as well, dear brother. Assuming, of course, you don’t wear… whatever it is you’re wearing right now.”

“As if people will have time to dissect my sartorial choices when your face will be there!” Loki says, watching as Hela, practically cackling, retreats down his driveway. With a huff, he pushes the door shut and turns back to her. “Have you gone mad?”

“Like you didn’t want to go,” she says, her statement an accusation more than anything else as she recalls how he’s been complaining about Hela withholding his invitation to this very event – the same one that’s slated to have every executive in the League in attendance. Before her, Loki feigns indignance for another beat before sighing in concession, making her scoff. “So, are you going to drive me to get a dress or what?”

Loki purses his lips, as if to ponder her question. “We’re stopping for scones first, right?”  

“Obviously.”

[defilerwyrm]

What's the stance on trans meds nowadays? I don't ID with them, but for me personally, being trans is a medical thing for me, because that's what helps me and my dysphroia the best to see it as such, but I don't apply that logic to everyone..some people don't see it that way and that's valid! But I'm curious if this is common? I know many don't have dysphoria and that's valid and common ans you don't need dysphoria to be trans. And having dysphoria is common too, but is it odd to view it for yourself personally as a medical thing, like being the hrt part of it? Idk if that makes me one but..Like I see myself as a biological male (I'm a trans man, and I don't agree with that bullshit of "I'm a bio woman living as a man, no, I AM a man and my "biology" is a "male! My hormones are that of a man, my body is male.) Idk just curious if others feel the same :)

Oh hell, Anon, I don’t even know, I’m so far past caring what anyone else thinks about that.

I find that there is a gulf between the lived experience of a dysphoric trans person like myself (or you!) and that of someone who’s happy with nothing more than social transition that could swallow Jupiter without getting moons in its teeth.

For me personally, I have felt like I’ve been in the wrong body since I was 4 years old at least. My parts were wrong, my voice was wrong, my height was wrong, my puberty was a traumatic clusterfuck of “oh gods no please no why,” and the expectations people had of me (very especially for sex) based on the shape of my body were all wrong. My dysphoria is/was a medical problem caused by a mismatch between my intrinsic identity and my physical form, and so it had a medical solution (HRT and multiple surgeries).

And for some others, that screaming, clawing wrongness just…isn’t there, I guess? Nor are they capable of comprehending what it’s like to have it, from all I’ve seen, any more than cis people can comprehend it.

Really I think you could subdivide the transgender umbrella into two main types: “my sex is wrong” and “my gender and sex are two discrete things and that’s fine.” Is one more or less trans than the other? Oh fuck, who gives a shit, the right wing wants all of us dead equally.

This split is only really a problem when it comes to a) matters of representation (a reeeaaal hot button topic for me) and b) the first camp’s ongoing battle to secure the right to medical transition on grounds of it being the appropriate treatment for our condition.

IDK man, the internet is full of buffoons and poltroons and I’m much too old to give credence to whatever the opinions of non-voting Chronically Online minors are, so your guess is as good as mine

[nahalism]

i just quit my job, that drained me. It feels both bad and good, because I don't have another one lined up, but it takes out all my life energy. The energy of my coworkers is dark and bullying, it's disrespectful. One of them is giving me the chills since day 1 and has dark energy. I don't know if witchcraft is a thing, but I randomly saw a video about it, i think it was wizardliz and how she said you take that energy and get these thought w you, even if you don't want it, i was like, ok this is exactly this person. It's hard to explain. Anyway, in the end it's me allowing myself getting disrespected. It means I'm not in the right place. The darkness that it gives me, is pushing me to see the light. But still I feel bad, cause a lot of people need a job, want a job, and I threw it away after 4 years. I'm sorry for ranting in your inbox. I didn't tell anybody, because I know people talk me out of it, cause it's a good job and you need money right. But i feel like i'd hang myself, being around these people a day longer. I don't wanna say there's bad people, but it felt lke that and i know everybody that puts darkness on me, needs to find their own light and pushes me to find mine. But man, idk, i can't believe there are people like this. Who constantly talk and judge others, never check the mirror. I don't like labels ,but I use to question myself if I'm anti-social, autistic, weird, but I believe I'm sensitive to a point that it doesn't matter what anybody says or does, it's what i feel and if that isn't good, i can not be around you. I know someone who hurt me, but i know in my heart she didn't mean to. I guess she didn't know better. Despite that, I feel pure about her. Safe around her and I know she does with me. And then there're these people who claim to be good, acts of kindness, trynna hang w you, but then it feels off. Not pure. Not safe. Does it make sense? I know I will face more situations like this, but how do I deal with it. Do you have tips? Don't feel obligated to answer. I hope you are doing good x

heyyyy, first of all!!! congratulations on making a decision that makes you happy. you did something brave and took your future into your own hands. dont let outside noise, guilt, or fear move you from acknowledging that. there are always ways to make money, but our time here and what we do with it is finite so the quality of your experience matters.

i think you did a powerful thing trying to find how those negative experiences could teach you something or push you toward an experience of life you would rather have. as im sure you know, negative experiences are half the battle. mastering ourselves and our response to them is often the harder and more necessary task. however, knowing that can make leaving harder, cause not being able to 'rise above' and endure something tough can often feel like a failure to master yourself or those circumstances. that said, i think you did the right thing leaving a space that doesnt make you happy. as much as we can change ourselves, its not our job to change people, and at a certain point we have to believe and trust in what we feel. our feelings toward things are some of our indicators toward whether or not what we experience is aligned with us.

in terms of witchcraft. i know juju is a real thing but i dont give it much weight or credence simply because i believe like frequencies latch on to like frequencies. if its true that the universe is mental and we create our realities then those things that manifest in our lived experience have their root within us. — this is why 1) theres a deep meaning to 'no weapon formed against me shall prosper'. when you have conviction of yourself and your path, wayward energies cannot get to you or conquer you. if someone would wish you evil, but you hold no resonance toward that evil, or you have no fear/insecurity concerning their power over you, that evil cannot latch on to you and returns back to sender. — 2) (this relates to how you conduct yourself in the future), practice stilling yourself, knowing where you are going, and what your experience of where you will to go looks and feels like. then go forward. when you encounter people you disagree with, who trigger you, or who give you a similar vibe to the people you have just left, you can do one of two things. seek the aspect of you that identifies with them. (if you didn't identify or fear their ability to rub off on you, you would be able to tune them out or brush them off. soon they would cease to exist around you whether its them getting moved to another department, or you getting promoted etc) orrrr. choose to see them. understand that beyond the face they show you, they have different faces and aspects to them. who are they to their mother? their brother? their children. by seeing them in the full scope of their humanity you can remember that they are more than the aspect of them you see that aggravates you & in doing so treat them as you would treat someone you love. its a funny thing, cause that person could be an asshole to everyone else, yet the softest most generous person to you, because when we see people for who they are or even more than what they are, they usually respond in like mind.

wishing you so much luck and good fortune in your future endeavours. your effort will not betray you 💋

[ingravinoveritas]

I remember once seeing somewhere that on the good omens 2 poster Crowley had a ring on his finger but try as I might, I can’t seem to find it anywhere now. Just wanted to know if maybe you’ve seen it before and might have a picture of it cause I’m dying to see it again

Hi, Anon! I've heard lots of ideas/theories about the GO 2 poster, but I'm not sure about Crowley having a ring on his finger. I took a good, long look at the poster after receiving your message, but Crowley's hands aren't too visible and I can't seem to spot a ring anywhere:

The one thing I do remember that is relevant to your query is that the theories about Crowley (and Aziraphale) wearing rings first seemed to start when a video was released of Michael and David wishing a woman named Edna a happy birthday during the filming of GO 2:

It was quickly pointed out that both Michael and David had their hands (not so subtly) hidden behind their backs for the entirety of the video, which lead to the fan theory that Aziraphale and Crowley are wearing rings. It's also notable that both their hands are seemingly deliberately hidden on the GO 2 poster, too, so this could lend credence to the idea of rings.

So I know that isn't what you were specifically looking for, but I hope it was at least somewhat helpful. If anyone knows what this Anon is referring to, re: the GO 2 poster and Crowley wearing a ring, feel free to comment on this post (or send me a DM). Thanks for writing in! xx

[tianshiisdead]

Alright 3 18 24 and 9 for both good and bad?

BAD

3. part of canon you found tedious or boring

I'm going to say something controversial within my niche, I think, and say the Japanese provinces KJLSDHDGF LIKE! I APPRECIATE THAT THEY ARE THERE AND I'M HAPPY FOR EVERYONE WHO THINKS THEY ARE FUN... AND I DEFINITELY THINK THEY DESERVE MORE LOVE... BUT I JUST. I DON'T CARE THAT MUCH 😭😭😭 I wish I did but... Japan too, I love Japan but I think I liked early Japan the best, before the moewave of Hetalia. I like him like how I like England, I like his edges and roughness, his bad traits that sometimes overshadow his good traits, and I miss them a lot... feels like they aren't really there as much anymore.

18. worst blorboficiation

My first thought was England but honestly, realistically I'd have to say America. People out here blorbofying him in horrifying ways, probably because the fandom is largely American and yknow what we do with our motherlands, we blorbofy them!! But America is not my motherland and I roll my eyes at it haha

24. Confess your sinful Hetalia thoughts

If I wrote out the shit I talk about to my friends or in some of the discords I'm in I'll get like, idk, kicked off tumblr for unimaginable explicit levels HAHA but I also think anyone who's seen my ao3 account knows about my sinful Hetalia thoughts. Well, it's not hard to find my account I don't think, but I like keeping my sinful side separate since I feel it might end up making my mostly serious posts on here have less... idk, credence? I enjoy serious hetaliaposting and sinful hetaliaposting but I enjoy them kind of seperately.

9. part of canon you think is overhyped

...UK br-

GOOD

3. most chill character stans

Honestly gonna have to agree with u Beetroot it's gotta be Lithuania stans djklghfd u guys seem so peaceful I'm jealous!

18. List three artists you want to shout out

@serica-e fluffy and cute and warm

@kimetsunozushi69 muscles... also pretty faces with a lot of personality

@stella-azurite pretty dresses!!

24. Name something someone has done to make the fandom a more positive place

already answered! Although I think your directory is really useful and I appreciate this Eastern Europe niche you've created even if I'm only glimpsing into it through you and a few others. We really just be making niches here and I think that's great lol

9. Have you made any friends in this fandom

Yes <33 more so than I expected honestly! I mean, I met my beloved darling gf in this fandom LOL but also many other friends who've taught me so much about their cultures and cultures of interest, and I'm so happy I met them. I'm also very happy with the circle of tumblr I'm in right now, even if I complain it's usually about random stuff that gets brought to me from outside, inside it's cozy and nice hehe

[fangedmagick]

Dark Embrace and Diablerie (VtM Lore)

Grindelwald stole Aurelius from his happiness, away from his father; and taking him away back to Nurmengard Castle.

Waking up in his former room felt like everything before was a kind dream and he was back here, alone. But no. His Obscurus was gone, he was healed, and was just getting done with Hogwarts lessons.

Grindelwald looked down at the boy with frightening admiration mixed with disappointment. The last meeting was the boy had revealed the Qlin plot, and bought Newt and Albus some time with their plan.

In his bed, it was warm and instinctively he wrapped the covers around himself. Unable to find his wand. He prepared for his death, given he had between the darkest and powerful wizard of the age.

Instead gentle hands touched him, making him shy away. His room was just as he left it, almost untouched. Not a speck of dust.

"You no longer have your Obscurus, Credence? Dumbledore's work?"

He pried and the boy couldn't help but be afraid. And refused to give information, "I dislike muggles, but there are some good ones, like Mr. Jacob. Surely you can see that..." He was shushed and like before, much to his inner hate, obeyed and was silenced.

"No need for that now." Grindelwald's voice was alluring however, and he couldn't fight the urge to listen. Not knowing he was being spelled by a more vampiric power, Awe. "You're quite a beautiful person, Credence. You know I had thought for long nights how to kill you for betraying me, betraying your brothers and sisters, the Wizarding World."

Aurelius couldn't correct his name, he could only listen, even as his fear returned. He was almost scarily okay with dying here. The older wizard continued,

"I have not embraced for a long time. But I also couldn't find a more fitting punishment for you."

"Embraced, sir?" Aurelius finally asked, genuinely curious.

"As much as I want to take you all the way to your soul, eternity sounds more fitting a punishment." Grindelwald had no care for some vampiric laws, and he was bent on destroying this pathetic Masquerade and revealing the Wizarding World all at once. Not many know of the Masquerade.. and honestly, he doubts Credence will last a week without being either killed or worse. He was okay with that...

For now he brushed the boy's long hair away, showing the neck that pumped with life that was not mixed with the Obscurus' poison. It was almost funny given that may have been the only thing that spared Credence from this.

And he let his fangs show, press against the neck, and bite down. It was a pinch, than both felt euphoric. Grindelwald drank down the delicious blood he so craved and Credence was lost in the kiss, feeling as much pleasure from being fed on as the one that was feeding.

The young Dumbledore almost heard his dear phoenix mourn in song. Their bond severing as his heart struggled to beat against the loss of blood. He was laying in his bed, to weak to stay in his position and whispers, "please... Grindelwald.." He didn't know what he was asking. But didn't finish as he lay in his bed, Grindelwald draining him nearly dry. Barely alive.

And he bit into his own wrist without delay to admire his dying victim. And fed Credence his own vitae.

But he was not kind to his childer, no, this was a punishment. Not a blessing and he was going to stain what bit was left of the boy's humanity.

---

He woke up in his bed, not cold anymore. But there was so much hunger, he was so hungry. He looked for anything to eat. Brown eyes frantic.

And there he spotted the prize. Or what his hunger crazed mind could see as a prize. He could smell the blood in the other's veins. And didn't question about the wooden stake in the older man's chest. Or the fact that this was a person he was staring at like the other was his only salvation.

He went after the torpor traitor LaSombra, and bit into him like a natural vampire, blood pulled without savoring it. He drank and drank, even as there was no more left, and he began to taste a more delicious dark flavor, not knowing it was the vampire's very soul as he consumed it all and fell back.

He felt so satisfied, so full, so good... until he wasn't.

Death finally caught up with him and he underwent the pains and burning of his body dying, and getting rid of what no longer suits him.

The feeding sealed his fate.

And when he woke again, he took some remains of his room stuff, finding his wand was left on the table, and fled into the night. Fleeing the castle, refusing to look back out of fear Grindelwald or the Acolytes he was knew were after him.

The elder Tremere thought his little childe would not last the week. He lasted over ninety years and still is alive. Though he hides desperately who his maker was and that he committed diablerie which gained him some LaSombra power that reminds him of his Obscurus, having to learn the Masquerade on his own, territory, laws, how own power.

He survives his nights in New York, sometimes travelling to Scotland or London to visit his old homes. Preferring solitude over a coterie.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

In Daniel Kitson's old radio shows, he made repeated claims that the band The Lucksmiths based the song Hiccup in Your Happiness on him. I tried to find clips of that recently for an archive and annoyingly could only find one instance of it, though I know he claimed it several times (though at least that one instance I did find was enough to assure me that I hadn't made the whole thing up). The Lucksmiths were an Australian band that Kitson was utterly obsessed with from about 2006 to about 2010, and still played them once in a while as recently as his 2023 run of radio shows. In his 2009 shows from MICF he had them play a song live in the studio one night, and got amusingly uncharacteristically starstruck, introduced the band by telling the audience "I can't even look at them", which I liked as a succinct description of how star-struck-ness feels. One time, during the graveyard radio run from MICF in 2008, he played every track off an entire Lucksmiths album with no talking in between, much to the annoyance of Matthew Crosby.

He also wrote the liner notes for their EP from 2006, which was entitled A Hiccup In Your Happiness and started with that song, which I guess offers a bit of credence to his claim that he inspired the lyrics to that song, since he apparently did know them well enough to do that. They might have let the subject of their song write the liner notes for the album. Or Kitson might have been making up the claim that he'd inspired the song, and they just let him do liner notes because they figured if you let a very well-respected comedian scribble on your album cover, then it will become a collector's item that some wildly over-invested fan of his will purchase 18 years later. Which is exactly what's happened, making this one of three physical CDs that I've bought online in the last month, because sometimes it's fun to pretend that it's 2006.

I scanned it with my roommate's scanner to get what is annoyingly not a great quality image, but it's the best I could do:

I couldn't get my own laptop to connect to my roommate's scanner, so I just scanned it to his computer and then sent it to myself. I sent it from his Messenger account, as that was open and seemed like the easiest way. I did not consider what an odd non-sequiter that would create in our Messenger conversation, that from his perspective, the last message was one from him to me asking if I'd eaten all the chicken from the fridge (I had, but I told him so in person), and then suddenly there was a picture of a screed with quite an intense message about the nature of love, apparently sent from him to me even though he'd never seen it before.

He sent me a message saying "that's one way to look at it", and I explained the situation as clearly as I possibly could, which I realized still wasn't very clear. Not easy to explain why I had gone online and purchased a CD from 2006 by an obscure Australian band, and then scanned it to his computer and sent it to myself. And once I started trying to explain it to him, I quickly realized I couldn't do a great job of justifying the decision even to myself. "Okay, there's a man named Daniel Kitson, and what happened was that in the early 2000s he said he didn't want a popular following, and he's a very very good comedian, but if he'd just been normal about it then he'd just be a normal very very good comedian with a normal level of people greatly enjoying his very good work, but because he was so committed to obscurity some people got really into collecting everything he ever did, which suggests his obscurity commitment backfired if you assume its goal was to actually keep him obscure, though if its goal was to create massive demand for everything he put out there, it actually worked very well. He's still a very very good comedian but he mainly just talks about ceramic pots and stuff these days. Anyway I bought this CD." I did not try to explain all this to my roommate. I actually blamed a friend of mine, said I bought the CD because he wanted to see it and it was easier to ship to my place than to his, which was technically true but I didn't get into the fact that I very much wanted to see it too.

It's a nice song, though. I'm not sure if they were quite as great as Daniel Kitson thought they were, but Lucksmiths ones are some of the few songs from his 2023 radio run that I didn't skip when he played them (I didn't skip them in the older radio shows either, but I listened to most songs from the early runs because I liked his music taste a lot better in 2007 than in 2023).

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary71

11/21-22/2023

tuesday - wednesday

listening to arab on radar, made cookies, read some julia kristeva.

not as much as i would have liked. her book called black sun, about misery. she says melancholia a lot, but something feels distantly embarrassing about saying that. saying i am melancholic. i am, though. it's so obvious it's painful, which is why it's a bit of an embarrassing word to say. i'm excited for her chapter about beauty, in the book. i want to read more of her stuff, so i dled some pdfs, might check that out tonight. anyway:

today i woke up annoyed, because the thing that got me out of bed was being told about how my friends got confused, because of the one guy in there who i find really frustrating, because he is making my friend depressed, gently, or not gently, but it's not aggressively, i guess. he was like, it's next week right, and other guys were like, is it?? and then they were like, well maybe it should be. my friend's gf was like, well, you should all try to come by tomorrow! which got a lot of them to be like: okay. the only one who seems like a maybe at this point, is the annoying guy. i am still expecting him to show up, though. he is saying he's going to be cooking w/ his family for thursday, but who knows, he's not a good cook, he cooked for us on his birthday (a kindness, certainly (strangely, he talked to me extensively that day, that day only, about how much he wanted everyone to be together always, all the time, and how much pleasure he got from getting everyone together "like this"(lends credence to the idea that he really wants to be the center of whatever group he's in))) and when he cooked he burnt all the meat, overdone, a friend said it was quote unquote dog-food. so i think his family would actually be happy to lose his hands.

i made 31 cookies, 33 technically but i ate 1.5, gf ate the other half (too full).

i'm still looking forward to tomorrow. i'm going to bitch abt the annoying guy with my friend's gf, i'm sure she'd be happy to complain a little, since he tried to fuck her plans up, or not tried, he just kind of almost did, by stumbling in the dark. everyone was like, making me so mad, when they were like, maybe we really should do it next week. it felt like a bunch of men deciding that when women make plans that they aren't central to, they can freely ignore them and decide what would make for better plan-making. one said that it'd be easier to plan if it were next week, but this has been a plan for about a week, already, it feels like at least. maybe less? it's just casual, though. i guess i gave myself something easy to do, with the cookies, compared to other things people might cook.

anyway i want to post some dolls and then sleep:

@_godog_ hijikata haruna

i wonder if her name is her actual name or if a chosen name based on tatsumi hijikata, the butoh dancer/ pioneer. it would fit, aesthetically, the dolls are right on the edge of corpselike, i would like to put special attention to the recent works with dolls that have these nacre eyes. they're so dead, and so like cataracts, but still intone something beyond or before death, not lifeless, just beside the void. it gives voice to the experience/ thought that one speaks it, or is a vessel for that nothing to pass through, a perfection written with lightness, i also quite like what must be the earlier dolls with extremely off kilter / askew eyes, also near death, but also near the to the erotic experience, also dissociative, distant, it reminds me of being places and doing things i didn't like but also had no way to imagine excusing myself from, so i was just like, okay.

also, all the hands, they are between searching and articulating pain. arthritic and curious. (and the toes on the one with exposed feet, really special detail work across all the digits)

either way, they are really beautiful to me, i quite love her work.

~

freak's circus

some of these skew a bit too trevor brown for me to want to post here (unfortunately i like some of his stuff, because i guess i look at it and have the stupid, wow, girl with surgery equipment looking crazy, i love that, response (he is so clearly a gross perv but i guess i excuse it in certain artists and not others (that's fine though because i don't think i'm ever excusing pedophilia like i feel like i'd have to w/ trevor brown (i don't think these dolls are pedophilic, though, so)))) anyways, i'm shocked i never saw or heard of these dolls anywhere, they're quite cute, and pretty. they just kind of lean on the whole creepy cute thing (all these dolls do) but these ones are much more willingly the kind of creepy cute pop art that can either become very bad or be very good, i'm fond of it. it's like so near bad taste it's kind of lovely/intoxicating, like the weird amputee dolls, it's an externalization of a cluster of feelings or ways you can feel like you are seen in such aggressive manner, i guess if you are one to read it that way, it's compelling no matter what. another reason i guess i'm so stricken by it, is the tension between perfection/the pristine, wanting terrible things to happen, and real malady, subtle bruising, illness, wanting to be tortured, being tortured actually, and needing to be beautiful, and that impossibility, all projected onto a toy, also remains compelling for me, in particular the conjoined twin dolls connect. the fish stomach one is simply very stunning to me, really really beautiful, and also silly and simple, it's stepping the line of good taste in certain ways, it does not have any restraint, none of these do, all excess all the time, everything at full volume, subtlety isn't absent, it's revived from a corpse though, killed and brought back by all the noise, it exists in the (dis)harmonies and nested thoughts happening as you are blasted by that image, sneaking many things in, dirty fantasies and the worry over the fantasies all the same.

ofc the mari shimizu feeling thing w/ the anatomical venus belly cutout w/ something religious feeling placed inside instead of organs (the sacred is the bodily??? gaspppp) is cute. i can't tell if it bothers me when anyone but her does that. i'm in favor, i suppose, because it is such a pretty/cute idea, to me.

~

@sekisyoku_metro

these ones really caught my eye, as where the last creator leans very hard into the kitsch/pop art area, and the first feels so heavenly almost, corpses stuck in a threeway of transcending, rotting, and still living, returning to themselves, or having never left, these really are the most corpselike and grotesque without being actually ugly. the first doll here, has a stomach as rough as the moon, it resembles io to me, the body is the color of a corpse left in a sulfuric lake, the face is that of an angry god. the noh mask features are quite insane, these dolls are maybe the most physical i've seen, or they immediately strike me as physical, heavy. the one missing her arm, she is less impersonable in her face, but she still remains strange, uncanny. i also quite love the desaturated pink ribbon as a mote of viscera. somehow more effective than anything grosser, it feels, it gives a sensation in my arms, of the tendons quieting after an execution.

~

anyhow, uhh, what else did i do, today. i tried redoing vox for another song, i think it's almost there, need to go back in and do a couple lines probably, i want some parts that are like girlier sounding i guess, no better way to put that. and then find a way to mix the vocals a little better, maybe just low shelf some stuff out. it can be quieter too, listening to arab on radar, it's not like the stuff i want to be like is really like, upfront vocally.

another song i think it'd be good to keep in mind:

i think maybe next super short song i do i should let myself use a synth sound that's really obvious, instead of these guitar thingies, just give myself like, a break, with mixing. i think it'd be easier.. . but who knows. i love to #fuckeverythingup and #dotoomuch (earlier in the blog, when i talk about subtlety revived, life poured into its mouth by noise i was also talking about something i think i do and #lovesomuch)

anyway i have to sleep soon. i get so much more talkative here when i ready anyfuckingthing. it's crazy. i have to make myself do it a bit every day. it made me write a little too. nothing substantial (substantial right now has to be me going in and working on the structure and slotting things together for the story) but doing anything is good. it keeps my mind working.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!

[newt-and-salamander]

Just watched SoD, it's almost 4 am and I am happy and overwhelmed. Here are just some first impressions in the order that come to my mind, so massive spoilers below the cut!!

Newt is the sweetest and kindest human being this world has ever known.

Jacob too!

I seriously thought for a few seconds Jacob would become Supreme Mugwump. XD (It would have been really epic though.)

Basically everything Jacob said was hilarious, I just love him so much!!!

Mads Mikkelsen just was so so so so so good! Of course Grindelwald had much more screen time than in the previous films so it was easier, but still he managed to bring a depth and some kind of ... likeability to Grindelwald's character. I liked that very much.

I also appreciate how clear they made that Dumbledore was in love with Grindelwald (Although this can't be called a secret, really. :D)

Albus had no secrets left, it was really about Aberforth?!?! Whew, I mean, I thought it could be coming, but still ...

Also: What's wrong with the Dumbledores? Ariana is an Obscurus, Aberforth's son is an Obscurus ... And how did both brothers manage to make such grave mistakes in only one summer?

I don't feel like after everything that happened in SoD, Aberforth has the right to still be so angry and cold against Albus (as shown in HP).

Newt was really lucky he wasn't killed in his first scene. :0

In general I was surprised by the really lighthearted tone of the film - even in the more dramatic scenes I was never really afraid someone would die.

THIS FILM HAD WIZARDS ON ROOFTOPS, I AM HAPPY.

Newt was so happy and excited so many times, so I am very happy and excited now!!! How cute was it when he met Lally and they were basically both fangirling about each other???

Newt saying "She is" when talking about Tina, omg!!! And them finally meeting again!!! (Damn Lally, bad timing!!!!)

I'm not really content with the explanation they gave for Tina's absence, though. I mean, Theseus is head auror too, and he seems to be able to go and do where/what he wishes.

Can we talk about the wide grin on Theseus face when he witnessed just how much in love Newt was in the end?? Maybe that's even my favourite moment! Him just being so happy for Newt and looking out for him and EVERYONE BEING HAPPY FOR A CHANGE!!!

Ok, maybe my favourite scene was Jacob being happy and closing his eyes so he won't see Queenie before the wedding ceremony and he's GETTING MARRIED TO QUEENIE AAAAHHHHH!!! I must say I had lost hope for the two of them!

Will Newt and Tina kiss offscreen now?!?!?

Dumbledore, whyyyy didn't you go into the bakery? Isn't it actually a bit impolite to just wait around in the street and walk away??

Newt practising his speech as best man *-* I love it how clumsy he was during every situation he was in a kind of leading position.

How did Aberforth and Credence establish the mirror connection???

I'm a bit confused and so, so tired.

How did Aberforth even find out Credence was his son??

Maybe Credence doesn't have to die. We know that Newt can separate an Obscurus from its host, so maybe he can save him?

Wtf they did break the blood pact by ACCIDENT???? NOOOO, I'm not happy with that!!! That's to ... easy and random.

Just for the record, snow is not the usual weather in Berlin (but then there always seems to be snow everywhere in the FB films XD). I rather liked wizarding Germany btw. The architecture and the little details like the signs and the stamps (a cliché that always works because it's funny and also still true I'm afraid).

The scene with Theseus and Newt in prison was a bit random but super funny, so I'll allow it. XD But I'm still disturbed that they just stunned Theseus and dragged him away and everyone was like ... it's alright, we can look for him later. (It's also not very healthy to hang upside down, but Thesues can manage it ... because. Because he's epic and very handsome and I like him very much.)

The brothers finally, finally bonding!!! Not talking, though. But who needs to talk anyway.

Bunty was great! I'm happy that she was not helpless in her love. She's still in love with Newt and he has no clue and she knows it's in vain, but she's not jealous or bitter but makes a deliberate decision to help. She definitely deserves more credit.

Basically all of the protagonists interacting with the Qilin just were so precious!!!!

What happened to Newt's suitcase????

They definitely made a film that could work as a conclusion of the series, which was probably wise. I am wayyy to tired at the moment to find out how I feel about that.

I missed the "magical train person" they listed on imdb. :(

HOW DO YOU DARE AND CRUCIATUS JACOB!!

I think it's an interesting choice to make the film so political and presenting an ending that shoes Grindelwald NOT rising to power.

Do we know which year this is taking place?

I kind of ship Lally and Theseus now, but on the other hand I'm happy to see a female character who is strong and intelligent and funny and witty in her own right without being paired up with anyone at the end.

I didn't really get all this time turner and parallel world stuff and that made it really confusing.

I need to stop now because I'm basically falling asleep while I'm writing and I'm sure only half of my thoughts make sense, not even talking about my terrible grammar.

[tomhiddelstonandzaynmalik]

"Random things Credence Barebone likes HC's"

Listen, these are just some random things I truly believe bby Credence has done or might do or simply just random shit he loves. I have the worst orthography ever but IDC hehe. enjoy.

--------------------------------------------

Credence's life has never been particularly good, not even averagely bland, but a straight-up purgatory-like one.

Not only was he robbed of the right to have loving parents, but he was condemned to spend his already tragic existence with Mary Lou.

Although she thought herself to be a godly woman, she was nothing but the trues depiction of the devil.

The word 'bad' is nowhere neer to describe her.

To the world's eyes she was selfless and devoted to both, her cause and God but behind close doors she transformed into the evil monster she truly was.

Monster who seemed to had found an odd pleasure into torturing its eldest "child".

You see, the Barebone family has an imposed rule of austerity, which extends to belongings, hobbies and also affection.

Credence cannot pinpoint the exact moment he began "daydreaming" disassociating for a different life, one worth living for.

It had gained him many punishments yet he couldn't stop his wandering mind from crating heart-warmingly fantastic movies for him.

Where he had a mother and a father who adored him.

Where he lived a life, nothing too glamorous, but with enough financial stability for him to have 3 meals a day and a warm fluffy bed to sleep at night.

Where he could've had the chance to educate himself and have enough confidence to connect with people his age.

Where he had friends who appreciated him. And who knows? Maybe even have a parter.

A loving, kind, caring and gentle person Credence could confide in.

Where he wasn't abused day and night. God! A life where he wasn't abused at all!

A stress free life.

A good life.

It was only there and then, where Credence could fathom the idea of being happy.

Therefore, no amount of lashings could evef keep him away from getting lost into his perfectlittleworld.

Credence Barebone loves animals.

He loves the chirping birds, welcoming him at sunrise when he's out there on the street handing out the first pamphlets of the day, or at least trys to, until sunset when they say goodbye as they return to their nests yet Credence must remain there.

He respctes the stray cats who watch him from affar. Like silent friends keeping an eye on him to make sure he's alright.

He enjoys it when people's dogs sniff him on-the-go, or bark friendly at him moving their tails eegerly. It is definitely the most positive attention he ever gets.

Even New York's ever growing population of rats have a special place on Credence's heart.

They are the only living beings he could ever relate to with.

Always mistreated, misunderstood and forgotten.

Left behind and pushed down into hiding for nobody to else see.

Causing everyone to feel both fear and repulsion at the same time, just for existing.

But even the rats aren't lonley, they have one another, something he doesn't have the luxury of.

Spring and Fall are Credence's favourite seasons.

He loves how nature comes back to life even after the harshest of winters.

There is something about life somehow finding a way to recover itself from the cruelest scenarios, which give him a somewhat sense of hope.

Maybe...

Just maybe...

Something better is coming his way. But just like with spring, he just has to wait for it to come.

While Spring is the rebirth, Fall is well, the Fall.

The days get shorter, the nights get colder and the weather gets crazier.

Yet it is in the little things of Fall where Credence finds the beauty of it.

Something in the way the fallen leaves dance in the wind.

The way the world tints itself in cozy oranges and yellows.

The colder air gifting everyone rosy cheeks.

Or people using the chilly wheather as an excuse to keep their loved ones closer to them.

But none of the above are remotely close in comparison to Credence's love for the moon.

During daytime, Credence Barebone has always lived a lonely life.

But once the harsh, basking sun has set down.

Credence is alone no more.

When were little, we all thought the moon followed us everywhere we went.

Credence thought that too.

But after the endless nights where his Ma had left him with raw and ozzing hands.

Either outside of his "home" or not.

When hen was frozen, bloodied and scared.

Where he found his first friend.

The moon helped him, lighting up his surroundings so he wouldn't be so scared of the night.

It became his only companion.

The only one who looked after him after he had cried out every single tear his body could produce and had fallen asleep from exhaustion.

It calmed him down.

The moon had been there waaaay before Credence came to this planet and she will sure be here waaaay after he had left it. She was the closest thing to the All-Watching-God the Bible spoke about.

Although he could only think about that, he was sertain if his Ma ever found out, she would most likely kill him for thinking such pagan thoughts.

[scuttle-buttle]

Do you have a favorite thing about Laszlo?

I do yes, here it is

Actually tho I don't know if I have a single favorite thing but i have things that I love about him.

He's so pretty. I mean just look at the man.

Very intelligent, well read. Can be stuck up because of this but I do think his heart is in the right place where it counts. Has a desire for knowledge. And when he's not dealing with his own issues I really do think he wants to help people understand theirs and find ways to be helped.

Good with kids (he would be the best dad I don't make the rules)

He has a secret soft side. I don't think Himbo qualifies here? But sometimes he can be so obtuse and dumb (and innocent), but like in a cute way

Dry humor. Love that shit.

Doesn't give too much credence to society rules, but if he has to he at least is open minded enough to call bullshit on them

Good food + good entertainment = happy Laszlo

Dedicated to the things he puts his mind to.

Honestly he reminds me of myself in many ways, with his moods, mannerisms, and traumas. (Don't know if I'd say I particularly like it? But I feel connected to him because I understand it)

That man just wants to be loved for once.